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#it’s so wild to me that there were none in DB
justkillingthyme · 8 days
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A compilation of every voiced line of Hershel laughing
Minor spoilers warning for all games
*do please tell me if I’m missing one and I’ll go back*
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thebananwithaplan · 1 year
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@getblammed (cont.)
Though at first surprised by @thebananwithaplan ‘s instinctual reaction, Pico did seem to get it, with a chuckle and a reassuring nod following the banana’s sheepish apology. He couldn’t help but be glad that he wasn’t on whichever game show the guy hosted, because god only knew the amount of censoring or sudden commercial breaks they’d have to do with how often a curse slipped without care. “ Yeah, it’s cool, man. It’s disorientin’ though, all th’ new faces. Been seein’ Nene n’ Darnell around more lately, that’s dope. ”
Had the growth taken some getting used to? Of course it had, people weren’t drawing the flash portal’s “mascots” with a mouse in shitty drawing programs from sketchy websites anymore, and they certainly weren’t animating them in Flash anymore. Not as commonly, anyways. Today is the age of flashy tablets, and entirely bypassing the ‘just getting started’ age of scribbled hands and circle tool heads. Pico couldn’t complain though, just meant content of him and his fellow icons at a higher quality.
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“ Course I got good on th’ mic, B! I’m more than my guns these days, ya know? Everybody’s been gettin’ into th’ music game lately, s’ pretty wild. ” He’d always had an interest, really. He’d even wanted to be a DJ when he was younger, either that or something with computers. Now he’s neither, but that wasn’t important right now.
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Honestly, it's for the best. Sorry, Pico, but he really can't afford to lose the SMART Technologies sponsorship. DB promises there's still ways you could win prizes without having to set foot in the studio, though!
. "Really? That's nice! At least you still have some friends that got developed with you along the way. I didn't even really had a 'universe' to be in, so to speak. Like, there were other fellow dancing fruits in similar gifs, but none who I'd call an actual friend. Not even mutuals. We just... co-existed, I guess...."
It truly were different times. The Dancing Banana couldn't even talk, let alone have much of a thought in the world outside of dancing; the most 'communication' he could do then was all through his body language, whether it was by his signature dances or by waving his pompoms around. (Depended whether he was in his pixelated or animated 2d glory) of course. Maybe sometimes also holding up signs that had questionable phrases on them.
The upgrade of these art and animation programs sure helped with his update to his current design. But good lord were many 3D attempts steering too close to uncanny valley - it's only the Shovel Team that finally got his look close to that of a likable funny toon character.
A character that still had some questionable morals lingering close to 'dangerous' territory by others to the point of having 'WANTED' posters, that also had a school theme involved in their lives at one point, and who has gained a greater taste and talent for music. Sounds familiar?
. "That's great! I'm a big fan of Blammed, by the way! And the way you were basically shooting down an entire army to the bpm in Stress? Honestly, I call THAT talent! I can't help but be pr-"
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. "....pretty impressed!"
No, he wasn't absolutely about to say 'proud of you' to Pico like he was some old out-of-touch uncle. A side effect of having an urge to cheer kids up and actually having any sort of a family with actual younger nephews. Pico isn't even that young anymore, either. He has to remember that now.
. "Between you n' me, you've definitely got skills to pay the bills. And I don't just mean that with your, uhh, more 'renowned' talents."
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anxiousxdreamer · 2 years
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The insanity around the Skyrim Sexyman is so wild as an outsider. I understand none of it. I watched like part of a playthrough ot Skyrim once aged eight cause my favorite minecraft YouTuber made it. I know none of these characters. And to top it all off I CANT EVEN SEE POLLS
Keep it coming
YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE POLLS????
good luck anon it's only gonna get wilder as more favourites probably end up losing lmao
i can give the rundown on a couple of them losing being a whole thing. you didn't ask for it but i'm gonna anyway from my perspective jfkashfgjhdaks
Ralof is simply the one running the poll's favourite, but I think a lot of people kinda forget to pay attention to him beyond choosing to follow him at the start of the game for the tutorial. ISQ has a million very good things to say about him and, while I admit I hadn't given him much thought before, I have to agree he's pretty great Brynjolf is a fan favourite usually. He's a smooth talker, in a Scottish accent, and he's a thief so he's kinda got a "dangerous sexy" thing going for him. Plus he like, so very much cares about the thieves guild and idk something about the way he addresses you gets people going i guess. It didn't hit for me but that's just me, i AM truly shocked he's lost and I do like him in general
Cicero winning in round 1 and losing in round 2 was funny as fuck. ISQ finds him SO annoying. I find him kinda annoying as well, but man I was rooting for him a little bit cause it'd be funny if THEIR disliked one (that is still a person at least) one. Oh well, we move on
Him losing to SERANA, another fan favourite, because she's a troubled pretty vampire lady voiced by Laura Bailey, was just beautiful imo. Personally I love her because I like her ice spike tendencies in combat and that she can't die. I'd say "cicero eat your heart out" but uh, pretty sure she actually ate his heart already so
Any dragon winning any poll is so funny because ISQ's protests are "Alduin is TOO POINTY" and "Durneviir is a ROTTING CORPSE DRAGON" (He's like, alive enough to consent, so he doesn't count as necrophilia, but he body is rotty because he's not really supposed to Have One i guess). Alduin is also the Big Bad of the whole main game. Durneviir is at least a, like, neutral guy. He can be your friend :). Odhaviing is another dragon. He's plot important but he's not as funny to me as the WORLD EATER or the ROTTING BODY ONE
Teldryn??? Teldryn is just a merc you can hire as a follower. I'm not even sure if he has a quest at least, but don't quote me on that because I am nowhere NEAR observant. Didn't even know he existed until the past few days lmao. And the fact that HE beat Brynjolf? Insanity.
I have a personal vendetta against J'zargo because I can't stand anyone who talks like they're the greatest fucking thing ever. It's a whole thing. I don't think he deserves to be hated for his whole exploding cape thing or anything, I just don't like him. Great voice though. If he wins I'll be sad.
There are orcs in Skyrim. There are IMPORTANT orcs in skyrim. I have SEEN people call the orc librarian at the Magic College sexy. There were no orcs in the lineup. This is a personal affront and I will never recover (I main orcs)(I am not actually mad at isq)
Sheogorath is the god of madness. He's my favourite god. I want him to win. If it's not Serana (I have a lot of loyalty to her as well because of. Life reasons. And I really really really love the ice spikes) then I want it to be him.
Hermaeus Mora is the god of forbidden knowledge. There's a lot of tentacles in his realm. He's my second favourite god.
Cicero and Sheogorath both talk in a million directions. Cicero annoys me and Sheo doesn't. This is because Cicero is basically in love with a corpse and I find his and any character's obsession with the Dark Brotherhood (assassin guild) cringe as fuck. I do not feel that way about real life people who really love the DB
Lucien Lachance is not fucking hot
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acerace · 2 years
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Appreciations time for my special guys!!! Aqua20 my beloved, team vod review, top of the leaderboard the entire event and one of the best teams I've ever watched <3 the communication was outstanding the vibes were excellent, they were hype but not loud, they were sooo supportive and clearly having a blast, watching their pov was a wonderful culmination of months of effort to improve at the video game solely out of a love for the event and a determination to be the best they can be <3 and a healthy dose of sweaty competitiveness lmao they're a teensy sweaty, just a lil-
Some choice Aqua20 moments:
-that One Guy who came into H's chat before the event saying they hoped his team lost and H called them out and said he'd win the event specifically because this guy "pissed him off" lmaoo
-H not having the right permissions to access the aqua vc in the discord until like 30 minutes before the event <3
-5up making an Entire Graph for build mart
-Ant advising everyone to put their tree graphics on fancy specifically because it lets you see through the leaves?? What a wild strat lmao
-H, bouncing around the new hub: "see chat this is what twitch rivals needs.......... content" LMAO
-the immediate attempts to a) pet the dogs and b) break the map and c) them succeeding at getting into the volcano and ship and also maybe the winner's podium?
-jazzercise. This is a recurring theme. Watch H's pov on the practice server before the event to witness... whatever that video was
-according to Gem the entire team was up until midnight her time vod reviewing together, which might explain why none of them slept??? H got maybe one hour of sleep and 5up three at most,,, guys please
-H opening Pokemon cards the entire event and occasionally pausing the conversation to show off his cards. Discussing game strategy? No, look at this alt art Umbreon instead
-5up carrying parkour tag as hunter
-Gem going "that's our little kitty cat!" at Ant
-the increasing shock and despair with each round in parkour tag when the opposing team sent their strongest hunter after them Every Single Time (the Pain in their voices when Fruitninja hunted >)
-GRID RUNNERS!! They popped tf off the communication was excellent they did so well what a good gr run
-that awkward moment in the golf grid runners room where they miss hitting H into the platform three (3) times
-Bad appearing in H and Ant's chats and telling them if they won he'd give Rat treats
-Ant getting zero (0) coins in the second round of rocket spleef rush. This haunts him the entire event
-Ant constantly asking people to build the bridge and walls in sky battle and just. no one doing it lmaooo
-5up's Spotify crashing halfway through the event and him being unable to restart it without breaking his entire stream (how??)
-Gem continually understanding what Ant was trying to say in his rapid panic ramblings, basically translating for 5up and H
-every time someone started getting down on themself the entire team would go crazy with encouragement :')
-Gem disapproving of their punching in tgttos because she believes in "punch karma"
-Ant H and 5up all ruining someone's day by punching anyway, and Elaina and Tubbo screaming their hatred at them in the post call
-5up punching Scar in tgttos and being So distressed about it, and Gem calling him a "little toxic" for it lmaoo
-Gem crossly telling the other hermits off for killing or punching her like >:( Falsesymmetry leave me alone >:(
-Ranboo killed 5up in tgttos at some point, a betrayal 5up could not forgive (and bonus Ranboo apologizing during DB while rooting for 5up to get his win)
-the way shot calling naturally passed between the team across the games and how there was no argument over who would do what
-I cannot stress this enough, H was opening Pokemon cards the entire event
-"we're so cool and hot and sexy"
-5up literally opening Pete's python's crypt run During the event to watch it one more time before they played ace race. Team vod review fr
-5up being so nervous for his strat in BM to the point where he almost wanted Battle Box instead
-Gem being nervous about sands of time and the whole team coming up with alternate strategies on the spot so she wouldn't have to do something she wasn't comfortable with (and then Gem going further than ever before as runner)
-everything about sot actually. The mobs in the hub and 5up telling them not to worry about it. The synergy of Gem getting the blue vault key, giving it to H to do the lava parkour, H calling in sandkeeper 5up to collect the actual coins as they'd be safer with him. 5.9k coins and no deaths!!
-DODGEBOLT!!! Three first time players!! Hermit on Hermit violence!! Gem's distress at fighting the other Hermits!! Ant word vomiting super specific highly detailed strategy while H leans back in his chair and then tells Ant to breathe lmaooo
-each round ending in a 1v1 with a different new winner getting the final shot,,,,, the training arc,,, the poeticness cannot be understated
-5up final DB round. What the fuck was that pink man
-Ant immediately opening his vod while still in the post mcc call to start reviewing his performance,,, king please it's been 20 minutes
(Ant proclaiming that the "vod review grind never stops" as he does so, and H earlier saying he'd see them all tomorrow for vod reviews)
-5up commissioning an art piece of them winning awwwww
-Ant being so happy after the event he almost started crying :')
GG to Aqua 20, what a fantastic team 💙💙
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sanoiro · 5 years
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5x01 - Really Sad Devil Guy - Spoilers & Speculation
  Warning! There is always a possibility that certain scenes might have been mixed up under their non-respective episodes.
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I’ll be clear about all this. Do not copy and paste the speculations, If you have found the original accounts from where the bts come from use yours do not get any of the photos from here. This post was NOT written to aid fandom spongers but in order to have fun with some dear friends and as a courtesy to the fans who come across my posts. I’m not a news blog nor a source and I’ll not be treated as such.
Written By: Jason Ning Directed By: Eagle Eglisson
Jason Ning has written/co-written the episodes:
1x03 - The Would-Be Prince of Darkness
1x06 - Favorite Son
2x05 - Weaponizer
2x16 - God Johnson
3x04 - What Would Lucifer Do?
3x11 - City of Angels?
3x14 - My Brother's Keeper
3x20 - The Angel of San Bernardino
4x03 - O, Ye of Little Faith, Father
4x08 - Super Bad Boyfriend
5x01 - Really Sad Devil Guy
Cast: Tom Ellis as Lucifer, Lauren German as Chloe, DB Woodside as Amenadiel, Lesley-Ann Brandt as Maze, Kevin Alejandro as Dan, Scarlett Estevez as Trixie, Rachael Harris as Linda Martin and Aimee Garcia as Ella.
Season 4 Recurring Characters: None Officially Announced Guest Cast:
Erik Aude...Rod
Kelsey Chock...Kirby Jones
Patrick Duke Conboy...Club Guy
Joël Dupont...Lux patron
Mark Elias...Vincent Gill
Chasten Harmon...Megan Garner
Brian Majestic...Neighbor
Sierra Nowak...Emily
Jose Stephan Perez...Club Guy
Behind The Scenes Videos:
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5x01 Locations:
1) LUX - Party
2) Precinct
3) The Yacht - Party - Maze (stunt) - Ella - (Ella & Maze) - Mr DOB? Money Lucifer?
4) The House - Night with Lucifer & Maze - Morning with Chloe Detective - Baby Shower - Girl
5) The DTLA Penthouse - Morning Lucifer - Night Chloe Sting  (Green Screen)
Due to the confusing titles we have ended up between friends to retitle them and this one is ‘The Gambler’ episode. The reason behind the name is because the case is taking place mainly in a high profile gambling establishment but also sets forward a very interesting concept for S5. 
Everything is a gamble and you need to be aware of what you are about to throw on the table. In my belief, the cards at our leads hands are misleading and sometimes some of them do not know what the power of the cards they hold. Pity that it’s not a card game though but a through of the dice with many unknown sides to the players. No God does not play dices with the universe as Neil Gaiman explains in Good Omens but how much of what is going on can be blamed on him? Not much in my humble opinion.
As you already know after all these years BTS is not easy on the contrary they are confusing and frustrating to no end… So stay cautious and try to have fun rather than search for definite answers. These answers may come only when the season P1 drops and if I managed to spot something correctly we were fortunate.
The first episode as Ellis said will clarify why Lucifer returned to Earth but unfortunately, we can only speculate as the bts do not give us a definite answer but we know one thing, do not expect Lucifer and Chloe to meet too soon in 5x01. For the most part, it seems like Lucifer tries to avoid her and for a very good reason. As Henderson said you cannot expect to lock an alcoholic to a liquor store for 20 years and do not have a regression.
The beginning of the episode will most probably take us to… Hell. The reason for that speculation is Ellis’ birthday cake. Yes, Ellis is an executive producer and usually, by now 5x01 should have wrapped as an episode its post-production so we assume that that scene takes place in the first 5-10 minutes of the first episode of S1.
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If the scene of that cake is not one of the S5 first scenes then probably is a cut scene from Chloe wondering how Lucifer is doing and the answer is well… he is delusional. According to Boris’s speculation we might get a similar scene like the beginning of S4 but this time it’s Chloe who works and the files pile up as well as the boxes around her office... Some bts suggest that might be actually happening but we simply cannot be sure. 
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We might also spot Gaudium on that cake but I would assume he appears like that because the delusion has not yet dropped so his real form might be a wonderful CGI. Henderson always wanted him somehow in the show so that would be the perfect time to do so…
So what has caused Lucifer wanting to get to earth? Again we do not know but it might be somehow related to the case Chloe will be working on. Of course, that relationship might not be obvious but more like the case of 5x04 where Lucifer’s connection to the case Chloe was trying to solve was purely accidental due to Eve.
Now the writers did tease that Lucifer will see a familiar face in Hell and many have speculated over that. When I heard it for the first time I thought it was Dan and I still hold that opinion mainly because Dan’s arc is more or less similar to the one of Charlotte. If a character is going to die in S5 I do expect it to be Dan even if it is for a little while, something that will lead to bigger problems later on and perhaps it will be the reason on why he needs the matching bracelet he wears with Lucifer and which appears in 5x03.
If that face is not Dan then who else could it be? Father Frank? In Hell, you may ask? Well, he felt immense guilt over accidentally killing his family and the boy’s family at that car crash so that’s where I place my next bet. In any case that familiar face is probably who shakes up things and causes Lucifer to seek something on Earth. 
My calculations on how long Lucifer is in Hell give out a 6 month period which has been confirmed and my speculation was based on that due to the babies that play Charlie :D. So what has changed 6 months later on Earth?
As we know from Lauren German fools everyone into believing she is doing well and she is supported by Maze and why not Ella. In 5x01 there is a bts which shows Chloe at a LUX party with Maze but Maze is dressed in leather and Chloe in work clothes. In the time of Lucifer’s absence, it was hinted by DB that Amenadiel has taken over LUX but fear not as LUX is the same place it always was and Amenadiel tries to imitate Lucifer’s dressing code and kind of entertainment in the establishment. At the same time if you notice the fridge at Linda’s apartment it has some photos with Amenadiel, Linda and Charlie so the domestic life is going well on that front as well for him.
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^If it’s Amenadiel it fits with the rehearsal if not then Lucifer and Chloe reunite earlier but I believe it’s Amenadiel. 
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Moving on as you know each episode has a case! Episode 5x01 features many different locations but I’ll start from Maze’s clothes at LUX. We do not know if the LUX scene is early in the episode and I would assume it is not. Maze’s clothes at LUX are seen in two locations LUX and at a boat where she is accompanied by Ella yet that’s not the murder scene.
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^That’s the main pattern I saw at LUX day of the extras wearing. 
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^Josh’s photo is upside down ;) 
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^Just a speculation but does LInda visit LUX? No idea. 
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After LUX day which lasted for over 13 hours I believe it lasted in total for about 15-16h... So it’s  big scene. 
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^Chloe shot and Lesley Ann waiting to enter the scene
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Ella’s shirt is also one of the reasons why I believe that’s at the beginning of the episode as later on, she wears a yellow and then a blue shirt during the episode. 
The murder scene takes place at a downtown Penthouse - not Lucifer’s - which acts as an illegal gambling establishment for rich players. If you have watched the movie Molly’s Game you will get what I mean. So let’s assume that murder happens there, the LAPD investigates the scene but afterwards, when Chloe is at the precinct she turns to Maze for some reason or Maze drags her to LUX. 
Note that Lucifer looks angry perhaps even dejected according to the available bts
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^No Green screen so do not expect something supernatural to happen just Lucifer infuriated giving a verbal point of how pointless everything is I presume. 
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Now call me a weird but there is a possibility of Ella being at the playing table BEFORE the murder case... or perhaps who could be the last person to see in Hell? Ella even for a fraction of a second? No idea again just a wild speculation...But I do not think that’s it... not entirely at least.. Aimee was well dressed at the following photo there... In my other speculation, Lucifer tries to get people to help him without involving Chloe at all.. Yet note that the dates they were posted on social media were different so we cannot be sure
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Now if Ella does help with the case is it too farfetched to hope that she will spill the beans about Candy to Chloe in 5x01? Dad I HOPE SO!. 
Afterwards, we see that Maze and Ella track down a rich guy on a boat. Maze is wearing the same clothes she did at LUX and I would speculate that the yacht belongs to Lee (The yacht is called the Lightbringer and is a known in L.A. yacht to rent for events etc.) with all the money he got OTHERWISE it was Lee who got killed and is the familiar face in hell and a close relative (his son?) took his fortune. You see a young black guy was hired as a guest so it is possible to assume that. There was a script page as well a blurry one but we do not know if the name was Les or Lee.. Here is the thing though... There was also a guy who looked like Jeremiah aka Lee in DTLA but I do not know if it was during the murder -if it happens there which if it does then fitting! or if he was there for his usual encounter with Lucifer...- 
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Now about that yacht...
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Now at that yacht we have Maze kicking some not so pretty behinds and we do not know how it goes from there unfortunately but I would assume that Lucifer and Maze are reunited early on that episode perhaps around the first quarter or so.
While everything happens Lucifer visits the DTLA Penthouse - Gambling establishment and he seems pissed possibly because his money was the reason Lee was murdered if we support that theory?
From there we also have a location that was shot at the WB ranch, the place where FRIENDS shot their intro scene at the fountain and which was sold by WB yet they can still use it for the time being.
At that ranch, there is a small town set which has some middle-class houses. In one of those houses, there was a baby shower for a baby girl I suppose and is where Lucifer seeks more answers. I do not know if someone bleeds or something but they had to wash the street afterwards. The scene happens at night and Lucifer again is NOT pleased. Along with Lucifer I believe that there was also Maze and I do not know if Maze was also there in the morning shots that follow with Chloe but she had her stunt with her and her presence at the stages suggest that she may have been at the precinct as well with those clothes but that’s a speculation. 
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Lucifer’s car at the lot in the main WB lot not the ranch. 
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Now do be careful as Chloe's visit in the morning might be before Lucifer’s one at night we just do not know exactly at the moment. 
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^You can see Lucifer in the middle of the shot. 
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^I believe that’s in that house at night. 
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^Maze Lucifer and the Guy?
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According to the guest's clothes I suspect that Chloe gets there in the morning and then Lucifer at night as he wears the exact same ones...
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At this point my belief is that perhaps Maze helps Chloe, then Lucifer gets involved without Chloe realising he is there or perhaps that’s the point she sees him and Maze along with Lucifer get into a fight. The suspect might have run or perhaps Lucifer and Maze protected Chloe unfortunately we cannot know what exactly is going on. 
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A third speculation at the same timeframe is that Maze is reunited with Lucifer at the penthouse and they start working together from that point. The follow Chloe perhaps even save her from the suspect as he runs and then both return at night to confront him. 
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Now there is also a morning shooting scene there or perhaps even two as we do know that Chloe as a Detective goes to ask the guy some questions while Lucifer has some action scenes at that point.
Ellis’ and Lesley-Ann’s stunts were there and took care of the scene which needed to be delivered yet, in my opinion, there was no meet up there. I do not know if Chloe managed to take a glimpse of Lucifer or not but I assume that at that point she knows Lucifer is back but he still avoids her to spare her the pain as he probably believes he will have to go back to Hell once his quest finishes.
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Fast forward we go to the last part of the episode which takes place at the DTLA Penthouse at night where Chloe appears to be on a sting operation, pretending to be a player and I would also assume that Ella is at the van guiding her through that. At the same time though we have Lucifer and Maze trying to do their own thing and Dan somewhere in the middle.
We know that it’s the final scene as there are police cars at the scene and my speculation is this.
Chloe is at the sting operation, Ella helps and Dan is also involved close by at a car. Lucifer and Maze try to gain entrance and we have a Green screen used and some wires as they were shooting two different scenes and one of them had Ellis suspended I believe from the wires. No idea if he was trying that the human way or Lucifer had enough and flew up there yet at some point the suspect break free and goes to the street.
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The last part of the episode is divided in two parts. The sting operation and the second painful part
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^ The building on the right with the helicopter landing space is the where the penthouse is located and the middle of the street in front of Hope park is where the conclusion of the episode was shot with some other additional scenes. 
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Two scenes were shot for the first time. One of them was Lucifer? lying, being levitated, using human means to climb to the penthouse? Who knows but there was a green screen behind him. Perhaps he was in the penthouse and was pushed or trying to avoid Chloe he opted to fall off? No idea. 
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Now at the same location, we have Ella with a messy ban like she was really into the game she might have been instructed to Chloe to play at the penthouse.
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Maze’s outfit makes me wonder if Maze decided to also go undercover to help Lucifer or even Chloe we will know once it drops I’m afraid. Yet it looks like she is along with the girls at the end of the episode. 
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Also see javiergame4 ‘s BTS ON REDDIT AND POSTED ON IGMUR BTS
At the end, I think that the guy who Lesley-Ann was hugging was the culprit and the one who starts a chain of events. 
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I do believe that Dan who might be in the car waiting for the sting to end up trapped with the culprit in the car and to be eventually be throwed outside the window. 
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Of course, that is one interpretation as there is also the following bts Lucifer in front of the car and then the car seems to have turned so either Lucifer is the cause for the guy’s, perhaps Dan’s injury or the reason why he is paradoxically saved. Perhaps both. You can see teh green screen be used which may suggest a car chase or something which Lucifer puts into a halt. The second car I believe is Chloe’s. 
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^The guy ends up on the street
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But someone in white seems to protect someone so we do not know what is going on. If Lucifer protects Chloe, if some power comes forward and saves Dan. 
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^The person in white next to the ambulance
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My opinion? Chloe indeed needs help and Lucifer comes forward in a scene that reminds me a bit of Lois and Superman in Superman Returns meaning that it might be him saving her that exposes his return from Hell to her. 
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Chloe, Ella - see the bun behind Chloe, and Maze in front of a dead body bag coroner bed. 
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Also Chloe appears to be in front of the guy who gets injured... Again we assume this is the end of the episode... But someone eventually DOES die as we know from the body bag and again I would assume that it is Dan. Do not ask me why I insist on that so much but I have this gut feeling he will have a short experience with Hell which will allow him to seek a second chance like Charlotte for when Death reclaims him once more. 
Now if Dan does die for a while and Lucifer has a hand in his revival it would also explain why in 5x03 or even at the end of 5x02 we have Dan and Lucifer wearing the same amethyst bracelet... Also why Lucifer cannot really leave again for the time being... 
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Additional info
We do know there is a woman guest with lines on the boat and the DTLA penthouse so I would keep an eye on her for the case.
Aimee Garcia was showing off Ella’s pens for the season and I have to admit that the screwdriver caught my interest for an obvious reason…
So has Amenadiel visited Lucifer at Hell? According to D.B.’s interview where he said that the character is currently busy so he has not, consider that Lucifer changing to a full Devil body in front of him may have not been the best memory he has of his baby brother. So in a way, Amenadiel might be deep down calm that the pieces have fallen into their place. He is of course sorely mistaken…
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miximax-hell · 4 years
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Happy Goku Day, everyone!!
I checked and, miraculously, I still have followers on this blog. In fact, I’ve gained some since the last time I posted, for some reason! I’m not going to question it, though. Just... bless. But, hey, long time no see! As usual!
This time, I’m going back to my roots. The first drawings I posted on this blog were meant to show my love towards original Raimon, and it’s never a bad time to remind you all that I still adore these kids. Especially now that my friend @dust-monsters-under-my-bed​ has reminded me of them. Go check her art, btw! She’s not very active on Tumblr, but you can find her art on Twitter right here: https://twitter.com/rachelmonart
Anyway, she’s watching Inazuma Eleven for the first time and she’s made me think again about how much love these kids deserve, BECAUSE THEY SURE GOT NONE FROM HINO. DAMN YOU, HINO. So, today, let’s talk about the one and only IE character whose feet are classified as mass destruction weapons, who decided to borrow power from someone who will make you all question me, my logic and my tastes: Yamhan (or, as he is known in the west, Tiencha), THE FUSION OF YAMCHA AND TENSHINHAN FROM DRAGON BALL.
Introducing ShoYamHan! More on him under the cut.
So, first of all, how have you all been? I suppose many of you, like myself, are being told to stay at home to fight this situation. I salute all of you who do your best to stay safe and not help spread anything. It’s a very necessary fight, even if it can be boring at times. Many of us have friends or relatives fighting on the frontline, though (unless you yourself are the doctor or nurse friend!), and we hopefully know that staying at home is a small price to pay.
As for me, I got a job in December and lost it last month, so... yeah. It’s not been great. Still, something I’ve been working hard on for a while should be released soon and that’s so exciting! MY NAME WILL FINALLY BE ON SOMETHING’S CREDITS AND I CAN’T WAIT FOR IT TO BE UP.
But, anyway, back to business!
Rachel suggested I talk about the reasons behind this particular miximax, and considering it makes for a perfect parallel with my first posts, where I talked about the reasons behind Max’s and Kageno’s miximaxes, I’m all up for it! But, this time, I will have to do something new: explain WHO THE HECK YAMHAN IS. So let’s start with a picture of this handsome devil.
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As most of you hopefully know, this project is about miximaxing Inazuma characters with video game characters. No anime, movies or anything else. Only and exclusively video games. Dragon Ball has probably spawned all those things, but it started as a manga, so you’d be right to think it most definitely does not qualify for this project. And, indeed, Dragon Ball doesn't. What DOES qualify, however, are Dragon Ball characters exclusive, or first introduced, in a video game. And that’s exactly the case we’re dealing with here!
Growing up, I loved Dragon Ball games. Even before I watched the show properly, in fact! I would go to my friend’s house, who was a fan of the show, and we'd play the Dragon Ball Budokai games nonstop with absolutely zero regrets. Those were some great times. And once I came to know the source material, the game that blew my mind the most was Dragon Ball Budokai 2. Was it the best one? Not necessarily. Is it my favourite? Not by a long shot. Still, it was the most creative! Most games follow the story of DBZ, which, obviously, is always the same. But Budokai 2 wasn’t afraid to do new things. Its story mode resembled a tabletop game and it was more than happy to deviate from the source material in some really fun ways; most notably, with exclusive fusions.
Budokai 2 introduced us all to Yamhan, the fusion of Yamcha and Tenshinhan, two long forgotten characters in the series, as they (and especially poor Yamcha) didn’t do anything especially relevant past... well, past the original Dragon Ball. As a champion of the unloved, that blew my mind. There were other fun things in Budokai 2, but what fascinated me and stayed in my thoughts for years to come was Yamhan. It was just such a cool concept. Two underdogs who had fallen into obscurity fusing to create a much greater warrior!
Of course, Yamhan isn’t the only videogame exclusive characters in Dragon Ball. He isn’t the first, nor the last. Yamhan isn’t the strongest, nor the weakest. But I haven’t played FighterZ nor Fusions (yet), nor pretty much any game that wasn’t on PS2 or GBA. And even if I had, I doubt Android 21 or any of the HUNDREDS of combinations available in Fusions would captivate me and my imagination as much as Yamhan did back in the day. Yamhan was a fusion, which is something that has always fascinated me to begin with. I MEAN, THIS ENTIRE BLOG IS ABOUT FUSING CHARACTERS, SO I THINK IT’S PRETTY OBVIOUS LMAO But he wasn’t just one among hundreds. He was this very specific, never-seen-before, cool as heck and usable fusion. Like, wow. That was wild for me. Sign me up, man.
But, you know, I try not to let that sway me too much. Of course, I wouldn’t likely pick a character I hate for a miximax, but, still, my preferences aren’t everything. And choosing Yamhan begs a question that I have already alluded to: if Yamhan isn’t the strongest game-exclusive DB character out there, then, why him? Well, the answer to that is related to the biggest problem posed by the sheer concept of miximaxing with a Dragon Ball character:
Power escalation.
It’s no exaggeration to say that Goku is, pretty much, the strongest character that has ever played the lead in any manga, and one of the strongest fictional characters ever, period. By the end of the Dragon Ball Super anime, he has EXCEEDED THE POWER OF MANY LITERAL GODS AND IS (or has been) A CANDIDATE TO BECOME ONE. You may prefer One Piece, or Naruto, or anything else, but few things reach the astronomical, reality-bending scope of Dragon Ball. Not to say DB is the best series--I’m just saying that it’s so out of control at this point (and I love it). But, of course, the stronger Goku is, the stronger the villains need to be, and Goku ends up becoming EVEN stronger than said villains. Rinse and repeat dozens of times until you can make an entire universe disappear by raising your hand.
Now, imagine applying that out-of-this-world power escalation to a context where the power balance isn’t so outrageous. For example, Inazuma Eleven.
Goku wriggling in his sleep is more powerful than Zeus, and an accidental sneeze would smash all of Ixal Fleet to smithereens. Do you see what this would do to the balance? It would ruin it completely, as anyone who miximaxed with Goku would be immediately a one-person army able to defeat ANY opponent--and if the opponent were to be EVEN GREATER than Goku, well, the rest simply wouldn’t stand a chance. Ever. Remember: the point of this project isn’t to create perfect and unbeatable players, and I’m not trying to prioritize anyone or make them noticeably stronger than anyone else just because I happen to like X more than Y. That completely ruins the tension and the fun (and my attempts to create justice in this unfair universe). The point is to come up with a balanced team full of players with strong points, but with flaws, too, that complement each other when they play together against stronger enemies.
So, if we go with Dragon Ball, and I love Dragon Ball WAY too much to not include it in this project in some way, we have to be careful and avoid overdoing it. Balance is key. And now that you know why I didn’t just choose the fusion between Beerus and Whis or something crazy like that, I’ll move on to explain what makes Yamhan a very interesting option. I SWEAR THERE ARE SOME ACTUAL REASONS.
First of all, the very concept. You know, Yamcha and Tenshinhan fused to created Yamhan, and now, Shourin is fusing with a fusion. That’s just... hecking cool. I won’t lie--my preferences towards Yamhan didn’t tip the scales towards making this happen, but my preferences towards FUSIONCEPTION totally did. XD But there’s more, thankfully.
From the very beginning, I knew I wanted a fighting game character to miximax with Shourin because it fits his theme best. I’m not big on fighting games, though, so it was quite tough. Especially because just any fighting game wouldn’t do it. Shourin is a martial artist. As I mentioned at the very beginning of this post, his feet are his weapons. His entire body is a weapon, really. If I were to suddenly miximax him with some character who wields a sword or an axe, for example, it would be a complete disservice to Shourin. Original Raimon members don’t have much going on for themselves, and I’m going to cut or ignore the ONE thing that makes one of them special? Not in a zillion years. Shourin needs to fight with his body. That, of course, cuts many characters already: pretty much the entire roster of Soul Calibur, many members of Mortal Kombat, many from games like Skullgirls (which I still want to try to represent here in the future, because @lumaga worked on it and it makes me happy just because of that), etc. For a very long time, I considered someone like Ryu, from Street Fighter, but then it hit me: I have never played Street Fighter and I don’t want to include him just because I know what a Hadouken is. It’d be... cheap. And fake. Thankfully, as I also mentioned earlier, I played LOTS of Budokai back in the day and I am an actual fan, so I don’t have to pretend to know what the heck I’m talking about. XD And, thankfully, most of the characters in DB games fight with their bare fists and legs, so they perfectly fit my needs. Yamhan is, of course, no exception.
Now comes my favourite reason to choose Yamhan and not, well, literally any other DB game-exclusive character. And that reason is style.
Remember that power escalation thing I mentioned earlier? Well, it’s epic, but it comes with a big disadvantage: power ends up becoming much more important than skill. Early Dragon Ball was very focused on fighting styles. There was an ongoing feud between the Turtle School and the Crane School, who taught different martial arts to fight in different ways, and there was a big plot involving which one was superior. It wasn’t just about who was strongest, but about who fought better. With time, that disappeared, though. Even though battles became flashier, aerial and more spectacular, they were much more indistinct. Sure, there were gimmicks like “heh, I have a tail and I will sometimes hit you with it,” or “I will try to hit your face with the palm of my hand instead of my fist for some unspecified reason,” but that isn’t... much. You just see very fast people avoiding equally as fast punches to the face. And Goku, the main character, only shows some style when he adopts a fighting pose BEFORE fighting. Once the punches start flying, it’s all a race to see who can hit the other the hardest in the gut to make them spit blood. Cool nonetheless, but still.
Ironically, though, it’s two of the least relevant characters who never really lost those styles that made them unique when they were first introduced to the series. And those are, of course, Yamcha and Tenshinhan.
Yamcha joins the Turtle School and learns techniques as classic as the Kamehameha, but he had his own style way before that, based on attacking and tearing enemies apart like a wolf would. This is best represented by his signature move, the Rougafuufuuken or Wolf Fang Fist. He never drops this style, but instead builds up on it through his training to make it even fiercer.
Tenshinhan has different things going for himself. First of all, he is a hybrid between a human being and a civilization known as the Three-Eyed People, which grants him powers such as growing extra arms from his back or dividing in 4. Not just moving so fast that it looks like there’s four of him, but ACTUALLY dividing into 4 separate bodies. In terms of skills, he was a Crane School student, but when he realised the wrong of his master’s doings, he decided to start training and developing on his own. Basically, a path that mirrors Yamcha’s, but both lead to unique fighting styles unlike anyone else’s in this universe. And, most importantly, none of them depend on appendixes that are always there, like the aforementioned tail, so they totally work for us here!
Shourin is a proper martial artist. He wouldn’t want to make himself crazy strong as much as he would like to refine his technique and learn new moves and tricks. Martial arts are about discipline, self-control, skill and protection. He would take a cool-ass combo based on a wolf’s moves over earth-shattering strength any day of the week, hence why the fact that these two have so many techniques to offer is so appealing.
Finally, and probably least, is the design idea that immediately came to my mind when I thought of a miximax between Shourin and Yamhan. Historically, I have had to work with characters like Fudou, who are usually mostly bald and they miximax with someone with hair, thus making for some very... difficult things to figure out. But the idea of miximaxing Shourin, who is mostly bald, with Yamhan, who is ALSO mostly bald, was just golden and too good to ignore. And the fact that Yamhan has three eyes GIVES ME AN EXCUSE TO ADD A THIRD CROSS-SHAPED EYE ON SHOURIN’S FOREHEAD. IF A MIXIMAX BETWEEN BALD PEOPLE WAS GOLDEN, THIS IS OUTRIGHT PLATINUM.
Shourin would've probably looked a lot less like a joke if he had had hair covering his entire head or if I had at least given him proper eyes... but that would no longer be the Shourin I love. Not to mention that it’s very likely that Shourin willingly shaves his head to begin with (even if the ponytail ain’t doing him any favours--but that’s just Inazuma logic, so let’s not look too much into it), just like Tenshinhan or Krillin do, so he would probably be happier to keep that, uh, advantage. Relative advantage, but still.
As a side note, though, we can’t forget the balance. When Yamcha and Tenshinhan fuse, they undoubtedly become the strongest human being in the DB universe, overcoming the one who is usually strongest: Krillin. A fusion is always greater than its parts individually, and Yamcha and Tenshinhan aren’t so far away from Krillin to begin with, so that’s not even a question. Regardless, they still don’t have that overwhelming and surreal strength from other characters, so we still don’t get into absolutely OP territory. Yamhan is strong enough to provide Shourin with a power that can make a real difference without completely putting him above everyone else.
Sadly, Yamhan doesn’t really have a backstory, as he’s a game-exclusive character that, honestly, was probably only there for a laugh. That means there is no deep connection between them. We can, however, make obvious connections between Shourin, an aspiring martial artist whose dream, as stated in IE2, was to study at Manyuuji (Kogure’s school) for their focus on martial arts, and is now trying to become stronger to protect what he loves, and two skilled warriors who have been training nonstop under different masters and on their own for basically their entire lives to keep becoming stronger and more skilled in order to defend what’s precious to them and, simply, to be the best version of themselves they can be. Upon seeing such dedicated warriors and artists, Shourin would undoubtedly want to learn from them and, if necessary, borrow their strength too.
Or he might just fanboy and ask for their autographs, honestly. I sure as heck want Yamcha’s. And his baseball card.
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duhragonball · 5 years
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Dragon Ball Z Movie 15: Resurrection F
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“Dragon Ball Z: Resurrection F” premiered on April 18, 2015.    Notably, it had a U.S. theatrical release only a few months later, in August.   Movie 14 got a U.S. theatrical release, but it took a lot longer, and fans didn’t really have any reason to expect that much.   In 2013, we were just waiting for Funimation to release it on home video.     But I think it says a lot about how successful Movie 14 was.    Not only did the sequel get made only a couple of years later, but the big shots in Japan who run all this stuff finally realized that there’s an international audience just as eager to pay for this stuff.   I want to say the Broly movie got released in the U.S. even faster, but I’d have to look it up.     And from what I understand, the Broly movie did even bigger business than Movies 14 and 15, so I think it’s safe to say that if they keep making more of these, we can count on a speedy localization.
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Do we have Fox to thank for this?   I mean, would any of this Dragon Ball revival have happened if “Dragon Ball Evolution” hadn’t bombed so badly?    I mean, let’s say they did a good job and made DBE really kick ass, like the Thor movies.   By now they probably would have made a nice little trilogy, starring a mostly whitewashed cast.   Maybe the third one would be looked down upon, or they’d try to do a reboot like with the X-Men franchise, and people would write pointless thinkpiece articles asking stupid questions about “Dragon Ball fatigue”.    Teenage Justin Chatwick stans would be blogging things like “OMG Did you know there was a Dragon Ball Evolution cartoon?!?!?”   Maybe those live action movies would be better than Dragon Ball Super, but they’d probably also mark the end of the franchise.   At least with things as they are, there’s no telling how much more Dragon Ball content we might be getting in the 20′s.
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Gee, Toei, how come your mom lets you have two logos at the start of the movie?
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I just found this out last night, but Res F has the distinction of being the first movie where Toriyama wrote the actual screenplay, as opposed to just coming up with the plot and story, as in Movie 14.  I’m a fan of Toriyama’s work, obviously, but I’m don’t subscribe to the idea that anything he does is pure gold and everyone else who contributes to this franchise is ruining it somehow.   There are GT apologists who would try to argue that GT was more legitimate because Toriyama had some vague influence on the production, and he drew SSJ4 Goku once, so that means it’s magically awesome.  It just doesn’t work.    Movie 14 is better than Movie 15, and I don’t think that’s because one screenplay was better than the other, but the point is that you can’t just add more Toriyama labor and guarantee a superior product.
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So there’s three big problems I have with this movie, and when I rewatched it this morning, my opinion hasn’t budged since 2015.  
First, the sole premise of this movie is that Frieza comes back to menace the good guys again.  That’s a bad move, period.   I find Frieza overrated to begin with, and they’ve already done handful of Frieza comebacks before this movie was ever conceived.    Even if it was a good idea, it’s so obvious that it’s barely worth doing.   When the DBS: Broly movie was first announced, I was worried that they were making the same mistake again, but then it turned out they had a bold twist on the character to justify the effort.   And that’s what it takes.   If you do something obvious and predictable, if you repeat an idea you’ve already used before, then you’d better have some sort of big twist to make it fresh.   Movie 15 does not have this.    It does an admirable job in spite of that flaw, but it’s a pretty serious flaw. 
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Second, the visuals are bland and unimpressive.    The point of this movie is that Goku and Frieza are going to have a rematch of their epic showdown on Namek.    I just went back in my archives and pulled up a still from the Frieza Saga, and it looks ten times cooler than anything in the movie.   They were fighting on an exploding planet, surrounded by red skies, lightning, molten lava, and tornadoes.     Movie 15 boasts the same guys, supposedly more powerful than ever, but they fight like they’re in a video game, and the background is just this dismal cloudy sky.   They had 23 years to figure out how to raise the stakes, and all they could come up with was making Frieza yellow and Goku blue.  
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Third, everyone acts like an idiot in this movie.  Like I said, we’ve done this dance before, but everyone just repeats the same mistakes and forgets that characters can do things that they’ve done in the past.   Sometimes I can’t tell whether it’s an honest flub, or a deliberate callback to classic DBZ.   All I know is that I remember how it went the first time, and you’d think the characters would too, since they lived it.   
Now, in spite of those issues, this film does a pretty decent job working with what it has.    It’s not nearly as bad as Movies 10 and 11, which commit these same three sins and puts the main characters on the sidelines.   But it’s a step down from Movie 14, and around the same time, Dragon Ball Super was starting up on Japanese TV, and that show was just adapting the movies for the first 32 episodes, so I was pretty displeased with the state of the franchise in 2015.
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All right, let’s get started.    The movie opens in hell, which is pretty interesting, because up until now we’ve only ever seen Toei’s version of DBZ Hell.   There’s a lot of inconsistencies, like whether or not you get to keep your physical body, and whether or not hell is even that bad a place to be.   Since Toriyama wrote this thing, I have to assume this is his official version of DBZ’s Hell.    Conveniently, we find that it’s got plenty of layers to it, including a scary looking realm full of bats, an ocean full of Pokemon fish, and underneath all of that we have an idyllic meadow with pink trees.   
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This is where Frieza’s being kept, and he just has to hang from the tree in some sort of testicle-looking thing.  There’s angels and fairies and a stuffed animal marching band, and it’s pretty cute, but I can see where you’d get sick of it after a while.
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And Frieza’s been here for a while.    This movie is set in the year Age 779, and Frieza was killed by Future Trunks in Age 764, so he’s on Year Fifteen of his infinity-year sentence.   Has he been stuck in this particular torment for the entire time?   Who knows?   I don’t know much about Japanese afterlife mythology, but my understanding is that it’s like an even more complex version of Dante’s Inferno, where there’s all these different ordeals you have to suffer through for extraordinarily long periods of time.    Maybe they let him out part of the time so he can get beat up by Pikkon and watch Goku beat Majin Buu.  
One touch I appreciate is that he’s still in his Mecha-Frieza form.   Does it make sense for him to retain his cybernetic parts when Trunks chopped him up into so many pieces?    I don’t know, but Mecha-Frieza is my favorite Frieza, so I like the nod to that moment.  
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Meanwhile, Frieza’s private army somehow still exists after all these years.  This movie calls it the “Frieza Force”, which I’m not too wild about, but I’ll run with it.   I think it’s kind of stupid to keep calling it that so long after Frieza’s death, but maybe it’s a bluff to anyone who doesn’t know Frieza’s dead.    At this point, all they have left is the name.   One of Frieza’s administrators, Sorbet, has taken charge of the whole thing, and I guess he’s done a fairly impressive job if he’s kept it going this long, but all he’s really accomplished is to oversee the slow dissolution of Frieza’s holdings.  
Funimation made a lot out of the idea of Frieza as an emperor, suggesting he was a head of state and the planets he conquered were part of a vast interstellar nation.   I think in the dub there was a comment about how the Frieza Force used to control like 70% of the known universe, but none of that’s in the Japanese version.   The original premise of Frieza is that he just has a bunch of guys fighting his battles for him, and he buys and sells planets to finance all the wine and spaceships he goes through.   I rather prefer that sort of aimlessness about his organization.    If he were like a Roman Caesar, you could at least balance out his brutality with the semblance of authority he brings to his conquests.    A Pax Friezae, if you will.  But he’s not Diocletian, he’s a trust fund baby who just happens to be nigh invulnerable.   He never cared what happened to anyone else, or how things would run after he was gone.   
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Anyway, Sorbet just doesn’t have the manpower to hold their territory, and all he can do is pull his soldiers out when uprisings get too intense.    His only recourse is to wish Frieza back to life with the Dragon Balls, except he can’t find the Namekians’ new homeworld.    There’s Dragon Balls on Earth, except that’s where all the Super Saiyans live, so it’s dangerous.   But today, he’s decided there’s no other way.    To be on the safe side, he leads an away team with just himself and his aid, Tagoma.   That way there’s less chance of them being noticed by the ki-sensitive fighters on the planet.  
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Sigh... this is why I hate the fucking Frieza Force right here.  It’s the same old spaceships, same old uniforms, same old plans.  Their shuttlecraft just looks like their regular ship, only smaller.    Frieza’s been dead for fifteen years, and after all this time, their biggest idea is to try to bring back LOWARD FUREEEZA SAWMA.  If that was such a hot idea, then why did he get killed in the first place?
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What annoys me is that there’s probably an interesting explanation for Sorbet’s strategy.   You’d think he would be happier with Frieza gone.   He runs this whole outfit, and even if their domain is smaller than it was under Frieza, it belongs to him, so he’s richer and more powerful than he’s ever been.   But maybe he just can’t appreciate that, and he liked it better when he was a middle-manager for a big shot like Frieza.   But that never gets explored in the movie.   Sorbet just acts like he’s wishing back Frieza because he’s supposed to.  
Anyway, it would be risky to try to go through Bulma to get the Dragon Balls, but Emperor Pilaf has a Dragon Radar of his own, so they strongarm him instead.   I wonder where he got that thing.   General Copper from the Red Ribbon Army had one that was never seen again, so maybe they stole it from him?  
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Meanwhile, here’s baby Pan.    I thought Pan’s appearance in these later movies conflicted with the final three episodes of DBZ, but maybe not.   The dub said she was three, but the subs said she was four.   And those last three episodes took place in Age 784, while this movie shows her being newly born in Age 779, just five years earlier.    So Pan could still be four years old when she fought Wild Tiger, and her birthday just hadn’t come along yet.   
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Anyway, Piccolo’s keeping an eye on her while her parents are shopping.   
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Then the sky gets dark, and Gohan and Piccolo know that someone’s wishing on the Dragon Balls, but they don’t know who or why.   Oh, by the way, there’s a big statue of Mr. Satan here, and that’s his only appearance in this movie.  
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So Sorbet makes his big wish to have a resurrection... of F.   Which stands for “Frieza.”
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Just like the title of this cartoon!
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But Shenron explains that it would be kind of dumb to do that.   This was the thing I never understood when this movie was first announced.    During the Frieza Saga, Shenron was used to wish back everyone killed by Frieza and his men, and Kami said that this would only work for those who had died within the past year.     The implication being that Shenron can’t revive people who have been dead for a really long time. 
But Toriyama seems to have taken that into account here.   Shenron explains that he can revive Frieza, even after fifteen years, but he can’t restore all the damage to his body.
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This leads to a quick flashback of Trunks killing him way back when.   I’m glad they included this, since it’s worth explaining just how Frieza died in the first place.  Trunks chopped him into pieces, then blasted the pieces.    Apparently, after all this time, Shenron can only undo the blasting and the dying, but not the chopping.  
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However, the medical technology used by the Frieza Force has advanced somewhat since the Namek Saga, so Tagoma believes they could finish the job of putting Frieza back together.   Sorbet decides it’s worth a shot, so we’re off to the races.
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So Shenron plats along, and a bunch of Frieza chunks fall to the ground.    I like the sound effects they make when they land.   
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Creepily, the pieces try to gather together again.   I don’t know if this is Shenron’s power trying and failing to complete the resurrection, of if this is some function of Mecha-Frieza’s cybernetics.     Either way, it doesn’t work.
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But the pieces are all still alive, which is siiiick.    Frieza’s eye even opens and looks at them, suggesting that he’s somehow still conscious in this state.    See, this movie still has some cool stuff in it.
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Then Shenron asks Sorbet what he wants for his second wish, and Sorbet had no idea that he would get more than one.    He considers wishing back King Cold, but before he can decide...
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... Shu wishes for cash, and gets it.    Sorbet’s angry about this, but he has to hurry up and return to the ship before the Z-Fighters find him.    The funny thing is that Shenron leaves after this second wish is granted, but in the Dragon Ball Super version, he grants a third wish, and Mai uses that one too.   This is why I’ve spent the last 16 years confused over whether Buu-era Shenron grants two wishes or three.   Apparently, the deal is that it’s three, unless you use one to wish a lot of people back to life at the same time.    Then it’s two.    So did Toriyama goof, or was the wish to bring back Frieza hard enough that it counts as two wishes?    It doesn’t matter much, since Movies 10, 13, and 14 all played fast and loose with Shenron as well.
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So now they have to load all the Frieza chunks into a big garbage can and haul them back to their ship.  
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They almost forget a piece, but Pilaf saves it for them.   I wonder what would have happened if they left that eye behind?
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So then they heal the pieces in their medical machine.  I don’t know how this was supposed to work, but I assume they needed someone to stitch the pieces together, then they loaded him in the tank for a while, and then they had to take him out again, dress him up in his uniform, and put him back in to cure a while longer.   Also, they have Japanese punk band Maximum the Hormone playing on the stereo the whole time they do this.
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“F” is a pretty good song, and I’m glad they put it in this movie, but I’d probably like it more if I liked Frieza more.    The story goes that Akira Toriyama heard this song, probably because the band wrote it as a tribute to his character, and the song inspired him to create the story in this movie.   
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Anyway, Frieza breaks out of the tank and splashes green crap everywhere because he’s such a drama queen.   
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Sorbet explains everything that’s happened, and Frieza seems mostly bemused by it all.   He’s displeased that he had to wait in hell for so long, but at least he’s out.    Sorbet mentions that they plan to wish back King Cold next, but Frieza tells them not to bother, since he apparently doesn’t like his dad that much.   This should be the tip to these idiots that this scheme will get them all killed.   
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Frieza kills a guy just to see how his skills are holding up, and he declares his intent to take revenge on the two Super Saiyans who defeated him.   Remember, he still owes Goku for beating him up on Namek, but Trunks killed him before he could get to that point.    And that’s my main problem with all of this.   We already did a Frieza comeback, and it was Mecha-Frieza invading Earth in the Trunks Saga.    He miraculously survived Namek, his soldiers spent months putting him back together, and then the very first thing he wanted to do was go to Earth and kill Super Saiyans.   Does any of this sound familiar? 
Besides that episode, we had several other stories that repeated the same theme.    Movies 5 and 6 were basically the same idea, but with Frieza’s brother as a stand-in for Frieza himself.    Episode 195 of the anime had Frieza come back as part of a revolut in hell.    Movie 12 had Frieza come back, only to get killed again by Gohan.     Dragon Ball GT had Frieza come back and fight Goku.     I think Toriyama’s attitude is that he didn’t write those stories, so they don’t count, but it doesn’t change the fact that the audience still saw all of those.    By the time this movie came along, “Frieza comes back for revenge” had been done several times.   
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Tagoma points out that maybe we shouldn’t rush back to Earth and get wiped out in a hopeless battle.   Again.     He suggests that it might be wiser to focus on rebuilding the Frieza Force, but Frieza kills him for his impudence, along with several other flunkies who just happened to be nearby.
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At least Frieza has a reason for wanting to start with revenge.  As far as he’s concerned, the Frieza Force can’t rebuild to its former glory, not if they have to hide from the Super Saiyans the whole time.    Sorbet points out that Goku’s even stronger than he was before, citing his defeat of Majin Buu.   Amazingly, Frieza’s heard of Majin Buu, since his father once told him that he should never mess with Buu or Beerus.  
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But this doesn’t worry Frieza much.  He figured Goku would become stronger, and he thinks he can as well.   Frieza was born with this unnaturally incredible power that he has, so he’s never needed to train or improve his strength.   But now, he thinks that if he does train, he can surpass Goku after about four months.   This is basically the Dragon Ball equivalent of “Why doesn’t Bluto eat some spinach and beat the hell out of Popeye?”
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Here’s what blows my mind.   In the subs, Frieza estimates that he’ll reach a power level of 1.3 million.   I’m amazed that they’d even cite a power level this late in the franchise, let alone a number that low.   Frieza claimed to be at one million in his second form, so I think everyone agrees that we passed 1,300,000 a long time ago.     Hell, there aren’t any scouters able to measure that high anyway.    
Seriously, is this official canon?  It has to be right?   Toriyama wrote that line himself.   Is he saying eveyone from Second-form Frieza to Golden Frieza ranges from 1 million to 1.3 million?  So like, Perfect Cell would be 1.1 million, I guess, and Majin Buu’s 1.2?    That’s wild.   I kind of like it.  
What I don’t like is that it’s a little convenient that Frieza can catch up to Goku so easily.   It took Gokue fifteen years to reach the level he’s at in this movie, and Frieza manages to tie him in just four months?   If it was that easy, why didn’t he just do pushups for a week before he came to Earth the last time?   He could have wiped out Trunks in an instant.
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Moving on, a few months later, Jaco the Intergalactic Patrolman arrives on Earth to warn Bulma that Frieza is coming to Earth with a thousand soldiers.   
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I won’t get into Jaco’s whole deal, because I still haven’t read his manga yet, but baiscally he was friends with Bulma’s older sister back in the day, and Tights told him that Bulma knows the Super Saiyan who beat Frieza.     The problem is that Goku and Vegeta aren’t on Earth right now, because they’re training with Whis on Beerus’ world.   Bulma can contact Whis by holding up delicious food and calling out to him, but she doesn’t know if he’s listening.   Also, Jaco waited until an hour before Frieza’s arrival to say anything, so now Bulma has to scramble to alert the others.  
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Here’s some bank robbers.    I like this bit, because in the dub, they say “We’re as rich as rich guys!”
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There’s just one problem...
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Krillin’s a cop.
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Then Bulma calls him and tells him the bad news.    I feel like somewhere in the dub, Krillin observed that Majin Buu and Gohan could at least buy them some time, but then it turned out Buu was asleep the whole time, which was why he didn’t show up in this movie.    I must be thinking of the DBS version.     This is why I’m not big on Buu as a good guy, by the way.    They have this insanely powerful good guy on their team, and then they never do anything with him.   He slept through this crisis and the Tournament of Power, and I didn’t see him in the Broly movie either.  
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Anyway, Frieza killed Krillin the last time they met, but Krillin’s got big brass balls, so the first thing he does is suit up to fight his punk ass.  18 offers to go in his place, but he wants her to protect their kid while he’s gone.  
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Also, he asks her to shave his head, so he’ll look even cooler for this.
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To be honest, I liked Krillin’s hairstyle in this movie, but yeah, bald Krillin is the way to go.   
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As he flies off into the face of certain doom, his big brass balls clanking as he goes, 18 thinks about how cool he is.   Get you a lady who admires you half as much as 18 admires Krillin.
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As Frieza returns to Earth, he goes over some details with Sorbet.    In particular, no one could find the Super Saiyan who actually killed Frieza, and Sorbet speculates that he may have moved to some other planet or died while Frieza was in hell.    Of course we know that Future Trunks returned to his own timeline, but Frieza doesn’t and never will.   This loose end doesn’t seem to bother him much, and I don’t think that makes sense.    Yes, from a dramatic standpoint, he ought to be more concerned about avenging his loss to Goku, but Trunks was the one to kill him, and I feel like Frieza doesn’t spend nearly enough time in this movie thinking about his own mortality.  
Sorbet points out that even if Frieza kills Goku, he could just be wished back to life like Frieza was, right?  But Frieza plans to destroy the Earth along with Goku, thereby eliminating the Dragon Balls and Earth’s hell.  For some reason, Frieza seems to think that Earth has it’s own particular version of hell, and the only reason he ended up in that meadow of fairies is because he happened to die on that planet.    So I guess he thinks that if he blows up the Earth, that hell will cease to exist as well?   How does he know that?   
Is that why he’s not worried about dying again?  Does he think if he dies someplace else, he’ll end up in a more favorable afterlife?   What happens if you die in outer space?    What sort of hell is Tagoma in right now?
At any rate, Frieza thinks he has all the angles worked out, and he checks to make sure Sorbet is prepared for his “emergency plan” in case things don’t work out.   This is as close as we ever get to any sort of character development for Frieza here.    The last time he went to Earth, he didn’t have a plan B, and now he does.   
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Meanwhile, Goku is training with Vegeta and Whis, just as Bulma said.    Recall that Whis is even stronger than Beerus, who dominated the boys in the last movie.    So Whis can fight them both at once without any trouble at all.
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But their training wakes up Beerus, so they have to explain how they pay Whis for his lessons with tasty food from Earth.   Beerus is annoyed that Whis would eat this stuff without him but he’s awake now, so he can have some of the pizza they brought over.    
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Meanwhile, Frieza’s ship lands on Earth, and a bunch of his goons come out.   
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Then he blows up North City, which he calls his way of saying hello.  
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So it’s up to the Z-Fighters to hold the line until Goku and Vegeta check Whis’s voice mail.   Unfortunately, they’re kind of light on guys.   We have Piccolo, Tien, and Krillin, and Gohan’s here, but he hasn’t kept up with his training.   That’s why he wore a tracksuit to this party, because he couldn’t find his gi after all this time.  Tien told Chiaotzu and Yamcha to stay out of it, since this fight would be too much for them.    Okay, but why?   Frieza will blow up the Earth if he wins, so what difference does it make if they stay out of this?    At least if they show up they can help.   
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On the other hand, Krillin brought Master Roshi along,   He can’t even fly!   Somehow, everyone involved in making this show decided that Roshi is cooler than Yamcha, which is stone cold, 100% false.   Master Roshi belongs in jail, and it doesn’t even need to be a fancy jail with a roof because he can’t fly out anyway.
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Then Bulma shows up with Jaco to tell the others that she couldn’t raise Goku and Vegeta.   Also, she wants Jaco to help, even though he only planned to pass along the message and GTFO.     Bulma trash-talks Frieza, because she figures they still have the upper hand.   After all, Gohan’s strong enough to kill Frieza, right?   But Gohan explains to her that Frieza’s much stronger than he was 15 years ago, so none of them stand a chance this time around.
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She asks Frieza to wait for Goku, so he agrees to hold off for ten more seconds, and then he sics his army on the Z-Fighters.   I bet she wishes she had told Goten and Trunks about this rumble.  
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People talk about this part as the highlight of the movie, and it’s definitely one of the better parts.   It’s certainly fresher,since we normally don’t see six or seven guys battling a whole army like this.   Also, I like the approach of limiting the cast to a manageable number.   I think it’s tactically unwise to leave Yamcha, Gotenks, Buu, and Chiaotzu out of this battle, but leaving them out of the movie is worth it, if it gives Tien a chance to shine for a moment.    I’m not saying I like Tien better than the others, but we’re in a situation now where they can’t all share the spotlight, so if we have to pick one, let’s make that decision and run with it, and hope Yamcha gets a turn in a later film.
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The problem I have with a fight like this is that they have all these extras floating around in the background of almost every scene, so it’s like Piccolo will do some cool spot with five or six bad guys, while fifty more just sort of stand there and watch.    The only explanation I can come up with is that the Z-Fighters are moving so fast that most of the bad guys simply cannot react fast enough to keep up.
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For example, you have this scene, where Gohan zips through a whole bunch of guys and takes them all out while they look like they’re standing still.    Also, it’s pointed out several times that the Frieza Force isn’t nearly as strong or as well-disciplined as they used to be.    Hell, the next movie makes a plot point out of how hard it is for them to recruit good fighters.
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Even Jaco makes these guys look like geeks, and he’s a comic relief guy.   
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But he’s clever, like when he tricks the bad guys into getting eaten by a giant fish.   How did he know this thing lived on Earth? 
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At this point, Sisami enters the battle, and he’s at least strong enough to give Piccolo a hard time.
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Also, his shorts are a size too small, but his slutty uniform is his only distinguishing feature, really.
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But Gohan steps in and turns Super Saiyan to take him out.   Not sure that was a smart play, since they’re trying to buy time for Goku to arrive.    A drawn out battle with Piccolo might have been just the thing they needed.   But I suspect this scene was intended to introduce the Super Saiyan concept to the audience.
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To wit, Sorbet is horrified by how easily his best warrior went down, but Frieza isn’t surprised at all, since he’s the only one on his side who’s seen Super Saiyans in action.    He didn’t know Gohan could turn into one, but it’s the same diff.
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This blue guy tries to apologize to Frieza for their defeat, but Frieza blows them all up.   I’m just pointing him out because this guy was voiced by Team Four Star’s Scott Frrerichs, which still blows my mind to this day.  Also, for some reason, I thought he played Sisima--Shisami, Sashimi... the red horny guy. 
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Everyone agrees that they stand no chance against Frieza as he is now, and Frieza takes out Gohan first just to emphasize the point.   I guess this is his meta-revenge for Movie 12.
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Piccolo has to use a ki technique to restart Gohan’s heart, and a senzu bean helas him after that, but they only have one left, so that won’t last them much longer.
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Finally, Whis checks his messages and Goku and Vegeta hear about Frieza.    Whis can take them back to Earth, but it’s a 35-minute trip, so it’s up to Goku’s Instant Transmission.   
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All right, let’s get on with this.    Frieza insists that he’s learned from their last fight, and he starts out with his “final” form, except it’s not his final form anymore, because he has a new one, so right off we see that he really hasn’t learned anything.     He wants Goku to turn Super Saiyan, but Goku doesn’t need to, and they fight like this for a while.  Does this really make sense.    Frieza came here for revenge, so why is he bothering to play-fight like this?   
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Eventually Vegeta gets so bored with this part of the battle that he jumps in and starts attacking Goku.   Frieza mistakes this for a show of loyalty to him, but in fact Vegeta’s just sick of Goku milking his turn.  
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They agree to put all their cards on the table, so Goku reveals his strongest form, which he calls a combination of classic Super Saiyan and the Super Saiyan God form he used in the last movie.    This eventually came to be known as “Super Saiyan Blue”, because duh, but for marketing purposes it’s still officially called “Super Saiyan God Super Saiyan” or “SSGSS” for short.   I have no idea who thought that was a good name for this.   
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So Frieza shows Goku his new form, which is just his “final” form with a different color scheme.   He says he “settled” on this color, implying that he could have made it look different if he wanted to.     I like that idea, because it goes along with my contention that the Xenoverse games should let you customize transforms along with your character.   If you want your guy to turn into a Super Saiyan Purple, you should be able to, or if you want your Frieza Race guy to have a Crimson form instead of Golden, you should get to have that too.
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On the other hand, this is fucking stupid.     It’s the same fight from 1990, except the characters are different colors.   This is the sort of thing critics make fun of DBZ for, and Toriyama did it unironically.   I mean, I get it, Super Saiyan 3 is just SSJ1 with longer hair and no eyebrows, but it’s the way the character is used in the story that sells the form as being more powerful.    
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The problem here is that both guys have new forms at the same time and they’re supposed to be stronger than almost every other character we’ve seen before.  And yet this fight doesn’t look all that different from what they were doing a few minutes ago, before they transformed.   
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On top of that, we have these really shitty CGI animations that look like they were taken out of a PS3 game.   I mean that literally, because when I watched this movie, I noticed it right away, because the way the characters move looks exactly like they do in the games I play all the time.  I didn’t mind it so much on the first viewing, but now that I’m looking at screencaps of it, it just looks really awkward and bad.    It’s fine in the games, because it’s interactive, and I can control what’s happening.    But in a movie, it doesn’t work at all, because Goku has this blank expression on his face the whole time.   Also, there’s no physics on the tails of his belt.    He’s rushing Frieza here but they’re just hanging at his hip like he’s standing still.
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Seriously, who thought this was a good idea?   These shots aren’t even that long, and they don’t look that complicated, so I don’t understand why they didn’t just go ahead and use traditional animation.    I mean, the Frieza soldiers from earlier were rendered this way too, and I get that, because there were literally a thousand of them, and they wanted to have hordes of them milling about in the background.   but this is the main hero and villain in the forefront of the action.    If the entire movie looked like this, I wouldn’t have a problem with it at all, really.     It’s a “contract with the audience” thing.   If the whole movie is CGI or 2D animation, we can accept the visuals we’re given,  but once you start switching media unexpectedly, it becomes very jarring.
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Then Beerus and Whis finally arrive to collect the dessert Bulma offered them.    Wait, he said it would take 35 minutes to get here.  Have Goku and Frieza been fighting for 35 minutes?
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I get the joke here, that you’ve got this interplanetary grudge match playing out nearby, and these two dorks are more interested in eating ice cream, but it sort of undermines what little tension there was to this story.   When Res F was first announced, lots of fans joked that Frieza would find himself completely outmatched by the Z-Fighters.    Goten could kill him by himself.   But Toriyama introduced Golden Frieza to get around that, which means at this point, Frieza has leapfrogged Cell and Majin Buu to become the strongest villain again, to the point where he might rival Beerus if he put his mind to it.   Frieza’s a big deal again, except there doesn’t seem to be much concern over it.    Everyone seems confident that Goku can handle it, and if he can’t then Vegeta can, and if things really got out of hand, Whis could kill everyone in one hit. 
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At one point, Frieza finally notices Beerus and asks him if he’s going to interfere in the battle, but Beerus insists that he’s just here for dessert, and he’s totally neutral in this.  
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And Frieza seems to think he’s winning, but then Goku informs him that this Golden Frieza form has a weakness.    Frieza was so thrilled to have the new form that he rushed to Earth as soon as he discovered it, but he hasn’t learned to regulate his power at this level, so he’s going to tire out in a few minutes.   Goku should know, because he ran into the same problem with Super Saiyan 3 a few years back, and the same thing happened to Frieza when he fought at 100% of his full power because FRIEZA HASN’T LEARNED A DAMN THING SINCE THE LAST TIME THEY FOUGHT.    This movie is just so dumb.   The fact that Goku has to explain this to him again is absurd. 
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Frieza thinks Goku’s bluffing, but this time the CGI battle shifts into Goku’s favor, and Frieza can’t hit the block button fast enough or break Goku’s combos.   
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Then they fight underwater, which is just as murky and grey as the sky, only there’s bubbles down here.
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Finally, we reach the point where Frieza’s punches don’t even work, and Goku pokes him in the tittly and punches him.
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So Goku tells him to get out of here, just like he did on Namek, and Frieza throws a fit, just like he did on Namek.   This fight is the worst.  I mean, it’s not Gohan vs. Dabura levels of bad, but at least Gohan and Dabura did original stuff while they were shitting the bed.
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Then Frieza signals Sorbet while he’s crying, and Sorbet shoots Goku with a ray gun to take him out of the fight.  
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And this is dumb too, because it’s the same mistake Goku made on Namek, twice.   Only this time, Frieza actually got the drop on him, which is dumb because he’s basically doing the same thing Piccolo did to Goku at the 23rd World Tournamnet.   Whis even warned Goku about this overconfidence earlier in the movie.  I mean, it was forteshadowing, which ought to be okay, except when everything else in this movie is a retread of Frieza’s other appearances, foreshadowing is kind of a bad move. 
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But Goku’s not the only dumbass in this movie.    Frieza decides not to kill Goku while he has the chance, and instead invites Vegeta to do it for him.   He even offers to make Vegeta his second-in-command, although his entire Frieza Force is dead except for Sorbet.   Geets declines, which isn’t exactly a shock, since he’s hated Frieza for destroying Planet Vegeta.   You know, the thing that happened forty-odd years ago that Frieza probably should considered before asking Vegeta to rejoin his team?
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Instead, Vegeta tells Krillin to give Goku a senzu bean, and when Frieza tries to stop him, Vegeta deflects his attack so that it kills Sorbet instead.  
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In return, Vegeta demands to take over the fight, now that we’ve come to his favorite part, the “Frieza-murdering” part.   Frieza mocks him for thinking he stands a chance, but Vegeta turns Super Saiyan Blue himself, and now Frieza realizes he’s totally screwed.    I guess he figured Goku would be this strong, but he never imagined he’d have to fight Vegeta at the same level at the same time.  
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This is my favorite part of the movie, where Vegeta informs him that he learned to go Super Saiyan shortly after Frieza’s death.   Then again, why didn’t Frieza know about any of this?    Sorbet had been spying on the Earth for years, and he seemed to know just about everything else about what was going on.   Why didn’t he tell Frieza that Vegeta was living on Earth and that he was about as strong as Goku?   “Hey, look, I know you think you can handle Goku with this Golden form, but just understand that you’ll probably be fighting Vegeta at the same time, and he’ll be about the same level.”
For that matter, why did Frieza invade without checking to make sure Goku was on the planet first?  
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So it looks like everything’s coming up Vegeta in this movie, although this part of the fight is anticlimactic, becuase Goku had already softned Frieza up for him. 
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But then it turns out that Vegeta swallowed a bottle of idiot pills too, because when Frieza’s Golden Form wears off, he gets desperate and blows up the Earth to escape.  You know, just like he did on Namek.  At least I can sort of excuse Vegeta for this, because he wasn’t there the last time Frieza pulled this trick, except that Vegeta should have seen it coming, because he pulled the same stunt himself when he first came to Earth.
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So yeah, the Earth explodes, again, which just makes the Dragon Ball Wiki that much harder to read, because they count both explosions as dates of death for every character.    Goten died in Age 774 and Age 779 and whenever else he would have died naturally.  
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But all the main characters who were watching he fight are okay, because they were standing next to Beerus and Whis, who made a force field to protect them.    Vegeta’s dead, though, because he suffocated when the planet blew.   On the other hand, Frieza would have survived, because he doesn’t need air.    On top of that, he took out the Dragon Balls, so there’s no way to undo this with a wish.   
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Then Whis reminds Goku that he has the power to rewind time by three minutes.   Yeah, I forgot about this.  Earlier, when Beerus woke up from his nap, Whis mentions how Beerus has a nasty habit of destroying things accidentally, so Whis has the power to rewind time and undo it if Beerus does anything especially stupid.  
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So now Goku has a chance to kill Frieza properly, which he should have just done in the first place.   
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KILLER QUEEN DAISAN NO BAKUDEN BITES THE DUST
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So Frieza’s dead again... until they bring him back for the Tournament of Power, because for some reason fans want him to keep coming back for more of this crap.
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Vegeta is understandably upset, because he thinks Goku just jumped in for no reason, but he calms down once he finds out Frieza was about to blow up the planet.
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Bulma promises a big feast for Whis and Beerus for helping them, but she adds that it’ll have to wait for them to wish back everyone who died when Frieza destroyed North City.   Well, that’ll take six months, because the Dragon Balls haven’t reset since the last wish, right?
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Then Goku proposes that he can Vegeta actually practice working together, in case they need to really join forces next time.   Vegeta’s like “nuts to that” and Goku’s like “same here”, so at least they have that much common ground.  
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The end credits are accompanied by “Z no Chikai” or “Oath of Z”, by Momoiro Clover Z.    This song rules, and it’s really much better than Movie 15 deserves.   
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In the post credits sequence, Frieza finds himself right back where he started, and the angels and fairies welcome him back to hell.    Looks like Tagoma had the right idea after all, huh?
And I guess that about sums it up.   I feel like this movie wasted an opportunity to do something truly interesting with Frieza.     You have a guy who was invincible, then he got killed and spent 15 years in hell, only to get wished back to life by his desperate troops.    This could have been a chance for him to ponder his own mortality and the futility of power and revenge.   What good does it really do to kill Goku when they both know what awaits them on the other side?   What difference does it make to escape the afterlife when you know you’ll just have to go back eventually?    You could try to have Frieza answer those questions and have him become a much more desperate and complex villain.   Instead, Toriyama just went right back to what he had already written in the Trunks Saga.  
Sadly, this looks like the final entry under the Dragon Ball Z brand.    Now that Dragon Ball Super is a thing, it looks like any new Dragon Ball stories, like the new Broly movie, will be produced under the DBS branding.    I kind of wish DBZ could have closed out on a better note than this.   
On the other hand, that Broly movie was a lot better, and even if it was officially titled “Dragon Ball Super: Broly”, I find that it’s hard for the Z to drop out of the public lexicon.   When I went to see it in January, the theater had it listed as “Dragon Ball Z: Super Broly.”  Old habits die hard, I guess.    Maybe one of these years, we’ll see the end of the Z, but not yet.  
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dingelchen · 6 years
Text
Unfall mit der Karre (”The Runaway Cart” in German)
For the Lyrics Across Languages project: Below the cut are the German lyrics to The Runaway Cart with a translation. (Link: German lyrics masterpost; multilingual lyrics masterpost.)
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Unfall mit der Karre
MANN: Vorsicht, eine Karre geht durch Vorsicht, eine Karre geht durch! Lauft, lauft, Lauft!
[PEOPLE speak] VALJEAN: Gibt's denn niemanden hier Der den Mann da befreit? [none] //Duisburg: [...] [none] //Db: Meine Schultern sind stark POLIZIST: Lasst es bleiben, Bürgermeister MENGE: Die Last ist für einen zu schwer FRAU: Ihr riskiert Euer Leben umsonst MENGE: Dem hilft keiner mehr FAUCHELEVENT: Ich fass es nicht [none] //Db: Wie dank ich Euch Ihr seid geschickt Vom Himmelreich JAVERT: Wie kann es [//Db: das] sein? Trau meinen Augen nicht mehr Ein Mann wie ihr So alt und stark wie ein Bär Da fällt mir ein Ich kannte einst einen Mann Ein Sträfling war's Der auf Bewährung verschwand Spurlos verschwand Vergebt mir, Herr, bei meiner Treu VALJEAN: Sagt, was ihr müsst Habt keine Scheu JAVERT: Bisher kannte ich nur einen Der war stark wie Ihr, mein Herr Er war Sträfling, ging in Ketten Seit zehn Jahren flüchtet er Doch sein Treiben hat ein Ende Er entgeht der Strafe nicht Unlängst wurde er verhaftet Heute kommt er vor Gericht Es versteht sich, dass er leugnet Das erwartet jeder Mann Doch auf Dauer täuscht uns keiner Nein, nicht einmal Jean Valjean VALJEAN: Ihr sagt, er streitet alles ab Und er behauptet, euer Spiel sei abgekartet Ihr sagt, man macht ihm den Prozess Und es steht unverrückbar fest, was auf ihn wartet Irrt ihr euch, in ihm, vielleicht Und ich bin euer Mann? JAVERT: Diesen Dieb kenn' ich schon ewig Hab ihm tief ins Herz geschaut Er ist zweifelsfrei gezeichnet Trägt ein Brandmal auf der Haut Er wird krumm, bis er bricht Dieses Mal entkommt er nicht
—–
translation back to English: Accident with the cart
MAN: Watch out, a cart is running wild Watch out, a cart is running wild! Run, run, run!
[people speak & cry out]
VALJEAN: Is there no one here Who will free that man there? [none] //Db: [...] [none] //Db: My shoulders are strong
POLICEMAN: Let it be, mayor
CROWD: The load is too heavy for one [person]
WOMAN: You'll risk your life in vain
CROWD: That one is beyond help
FAUCHELEVENT: I don't believe it [none] //Db: How do I thank you You are sent By the heavenly realm
JAVERT: How can it be [I] don't believe my eyes anymore A man like you So old and strong like a bear That reminds me I once knew a man A convict it was Who disappeared during probation Disappeared without trace Forgive me, sir, by my faith/troth
VALJEAN: Say what you need Have no reserve
JAVERT: Heretofore I knew only one Who was strong like you, monsieur He was a convict, walked in chains For ten years he flees/is fleeing But his activities have an end He does not escape punishment Not long ago he was arrested Today he goes to court Naturally he denies Everyone expects that But in the long run no one deceives us No, not even Jean Valjean
VALJEAN: You say he denies everything And he claims you are doing a put-up job You say he is put on trial And it is immovably certain what awaits him Are you mistaken in him, maybe And I am your man?
JAVERT: That thief I've known for ages Have looked deep into his heart He is unequivocally marked Bears a brand on his skin He will bend until he breaks This time he will not escape
—–
Footnotes/Trivia/Commentary:
–Translation for @quarryquest. --As the requester asked for a translation in context of Duisburg, I crosschecked it with a Db video. That one had a few lyrics not in the base text I used, not all of which were intelligible to me, notably a bunch of the crowd speaking at the start. Hopefully they weren’t that imporant. --Checked the English lyrics afterwards, and the only larger difference that jumped out at me on the fly was the bit where Javert says he’s taken a deep dive into Valjean’s psyche instead of just having tracked him through thick and thin.
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codehunter · 3 years
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Invalid transaction persisting across requests
Summary
One of our threads in production hit an error and is now producing InvalidRequestError: This session is in 'prepared' state; no further SQL can be emitted within this transaction. errors, on every request with a query that it serves, for the rest of its life! It's been doing this for days, now! How is this possible, and how can we prevent it going forward?
Background
We are using a Flask app on uWSGI (4 processes, 2 threads), with Flask-SQLAlchemy providing us DB connections to SQL Server.
The problem seemed to start when one of our threads in production was tearing down its request, inside this Flask-SQLAlchemy method:
@teardowndef shutdown_session(response_or_exc): if app.config['SQLALCHEMY_COMMIT_ON_TEARDOWN']: if response_or_exc is None: self.session.commit() self.session.remove() return response_or_exc
...and somehow managed to call self.session.commit() when the transaction was invalid. This resulted in sqlalchemy.exc.InvalidRequestError: Can't reconnect until invalid transaction is rolled back getting output to stdout, in defiance of our logging configuration, which makes sense since it happened during the app context tearing down, which is never supposed to raise exceptions. I'm not sure how the transaction got to be invalid without response_or_exec getting set, but that's actually the lesser problem AFAIK.
The bigger problem is, that's when the "'prepared' state" errors started, and haven't stopped since. Every time this thread serves a request that hits the DB, it 500s. Every other thread seems to be fine: as far as I can tell, even the thread that's in the same process is doing OK.
Wild guess
The SQLAlchemy mailing list has an entry about the "'prepared' state" error saying it happens if a session started committing and hasn't finished yet, and something else tries to use it. My guess is that the session in this thread never got to the self.session.remove() step, and now it never will.
I still feel like that doesn't explain how this session is persisting across requests though. We haven't modified Flask-SQLAlchemy's use of request-scoped sessions, so the session should get returned to SQLAlchemy's pool and rolled back at the end of the request, even the ones that are erroring (though admittedly, probably not the first one, since that raised during the app context tearing down). Why are the rollbacks not happening? I could understand it if we were seeing the "invalid transaction" errors on stdout (in uwsgi's log) every time, but we're not: I only saw it once, the first time. But I see the "'prepared' state" error (in our app's log) every time the 500s occur.
Configuration details
We've turned off expire_on_commit in the session_options, and we've turned on SQLALCHEMY_COMMIT_ON_TEARDOWN. We're only reading from the database, not writing yet. We're also using Dogpile-Cache for all of our queries (using the memcached lock since we have multiple processes, and actually, 2 load-balanced servers). The cache expires every minute for our major query.
Updated 2014-04-28: Resolution steps
Restarting the server seems to have fixed the problem, which isn't entirely surprising. That said, I expect to see it again until we figure out how to stop it. benselme (below) suggested writing our own teardown callback with exception handling around the commit, but I feel like the bigger problem is that the thread was messed up for the rest of its life. The fact that this didn't go away after a request or two really makes me nervous!
https://codehunter.cc/a/flask/invalid-transaction-persisting-across-requests
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ruethos · 3 years
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Okay now that I’ve had a day and some to really process Kingdom, I’m gonna put my longer thoughts here under a read more cause I don’t expect anyone else to read this and this is mostly just to organize my opinions.
Okay so firstly, the Good:
MY BOY FINALLY GETTING CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. ABSOLUTELY WILD THAT THIS WAS THE SERIES THAT DID IT WHEN I WAS EXPECTING HIM TO CONTINUE TO BE JUST, FLAT AND DUMB AND FUN, BUT I’M STILL HAPPY ABOUT IT.
He also didn’t die this time which is a plus.
Lesbian Spider My Beloved <3
Honestly the thing about the Allspark being in a symbiotic relationship with Cybertron and all the Cybertronians in it I thought was really interesting. I mean this brings up some questions but the idea itself is fun.
RN was fun for what we got of him! I enjoyed him interacting with WJ.
The idea that the entire war and the Allspark being ejected from Cybertron was a big set up by Unicron was interesting, and even tho I also have Questions about this, Unicron’s the god of evil and chaos and stuff. A god would be able to manipulate the events of mortals to suit his own plans.
I really liked AR tbh, I thought her model was really well done and her voice was fine. And of course, her interactions with BA~~ I would’ve liked to see her interact more with TT since they were implied to be together with that hug, but oh well.
BA’s VA knocked it out of the park, she sounded wonderful.
TBH I didn’t hate DB’s voice either. It did sound like his and TT’s voices were switched, but I didn’t mind it after a bit.
THERE WERE ACTUAL JOKES!!!! The prison break scene was what stood out the most, I was actually enjoying the dialogue between all the characters and it didn’t seem as weird as all the other dialogue.
Speaking of dialogue, “I can fly!” when Megs tried throwing my boy off the side of the Nemesis’s boarding platform (I guess he forgot he was a Seeker) would seem like it should feel hokey and dumb, but it worked??? Honestly that whole scene was fun, I enjoyed Star actually trying to do some good for once.
MC’s back must be hurting from carrying this show. Her episodes were the better ones and, since we got sequel bated, they BETTER be bringing her back to write for whatever the sequel is gonna be.
For the first time in this series I wasn’t bored at all when watching it! I was deathly bored during Siege and Earthrise lost my interest after maybe episode 2. Didn’t happen this time! I guess that’s the good thing about going in with absolutely the lowest expectations imaginable.
Okay, now the Bad:
Primal :^(((((  Too aggressive, too “fight first, ask questions later”. Like I get that they’ve been dealing with Nemesis for a long time, but you’d think that they’d notice that this lookalike has completely different colors?? IDK BW Primal would’ve asked questions before jumping into a fight i think.
TT and Cheets do literally NOTHING this whole season??? Like TT gets to be worried about AR and convinces Primal to help the Autobots, but after that he’s like, barely there? Barely says anything? Cheets gets maybe a line and runs ahead of the Autobots and that’s it I think. The boys had no character and there was no focus on them at all it was weird.
THEY JUST KILL THE CHARACTERS LEFT ON CYBERTRON OFF SCREEN! THE ABSOLUTE DISRESPECT OF IT ALL IS MIND-BOGGLING! Like, ELITA??? THE CHARACTER WHO HAD LIKE, THE MOST SCREEN TIME AFTER OP AND MEGS??? YOU’RE JUST GONNA DO THAT TO HER? None of this makes any sense like what was even the point of devoting that much time to them in Earthrise then??? If they were really that ultimately pointless then like, leave their stories off at the end of Siege and THEN kill them off? And devote more time to the characters that are off on the Arc/Nemesis.
I cared about literally no one other than DB, BA, AR, and Star.
These character models are too bulky to float and it look good. When Allspark!UM T-posed to assert his dominance and intimidate OP it looked absolutely hilarous, which I KNOW wasn’t their intention.
TRex Megs :^((((((((((((( Him being a G1 Megs fanboy was there in BW since he named himself after him and all, but that’s turned up to 11 and we don’t even get the super smart, conniving megalomaniac that he was in BW. He’s just there to be G1 Megs’s yes-man and do whatever he says. The voice they gave him fits this characterization, but it also made me want to shove him in a locker. BW Megs would wipe the floor with this one easily.
The voice direction is still awful. It’s not to the point where you have to play it at 1.5 speed for it to sound normal like in Siege and Earthrise, thankfully, but the characters STILL talk with these weird unnatural pauses???? OP is the worst about it. I get they’re probably trying to make it sound grandiose and important but it just sounded bad. 
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screamingforyears · 7 years
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BEST OF 2017: TOP TEN
The TOP TEN, a collection of my 10 favorite albums of the year. These were the albums that demanded the most of me and the ones I found myself repeatedly going back to again & again…
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CIVIL LUST
‘CONSTITUTIONS’
SELF-RELEASED
CIVIL LUST combine, then blend, all the aesthetic pleasures that make a great Goth Pop record on their debut LP ‘CONSTITUTIONS.’
The Salt Lake City based duo (Christian Riley and Isaiah Michael) are masters of their craft, who nail the details to a tee. 'Constitutions’is an exercise in classic post-punk tropes, but ones that have been further refined by years of study and more than capable craftsmanship.
The Cure bass lines, the Ian Curtisian vocals, to the Tears for Fears exuberance, Civil Lust create art that is sinewy yet soft (take one listen to “Receive” and tell me I’m wrong).
“Even Further” literally pulls you further into Civil Lust’s majestic ways with an echoed drum machine beat, tingled guitar lines, and Riley’s longing while the slow groove of the sensual “A Man You Will” is the type of sound the group perfect. The devil’s in the detail.
‘Constitutions’ and its able bodied creators construct a seamless 7 track album and further enrich an already fertile modern goth landscape...
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DEATH BELLS
‘STANDING AT THE EDGE OF THE WORLD’
BURNING ROSE / FUNERAL PARTY
DEATH BELLS, the Sydney based group of: Maurice Santiago (Bass), William Canning (Vocals), Aron Postolovic (Guitar), Rimas Veselis (Guitar), David Gauci (Synth), and Luca Watson (Percussion) seem to understand the power of gloomy guitar based indie, the kind that held court throughout the genre’s most influential decade and like many of the amazing groups mining these fields, they seem to understand the importance of detail and the need to move beyond mere homage.
DB’s beautifully bleached William Canning is a frontman to be reckoned with, as he parlays the looks, voice, words, and bravado into a force that demands attention, but not at the expense of working as an important cog to his band’s sturdy wheel. A singer is only as good as the foundation that surrounds him, so luckily for us the rest of the Bells are a top-notch unit.
‘STANDING AT THE EDGE OF THE WORLD’ is a pure guitar record through and through, one that borrows equally from paisley jangle, arena reaching grandness, and moody post-punk while being executed with aplomb by Veselis & Postolovic’s dual attack. 
“Only You” finds guitars loudly pinging over a steady rhythm section, allowing the coldly effervescent vocals to take center stage. The group hold court and have once again presented a lively, yet somber piece of buttoned up pop with “Only You.”
Death Bells sound hopeful yet weary on their engaging debut album, coming together as a cohesive & bold unit unafraid to reach big while retaining all the detached cool of their forebears...
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DRAB MAJESTY
‘THE DEMONSTRATION’
DAIS
DRAB MAJESTY, the project created and fronted by premiere goth alien Deb Demure, returned in 2017 with their second proper LP.
‘THE DEMONSTRATION’ sees Drab Majesty doubling down on what they do so well, finely tuned new wave goth, but better. Demure’s former LA based bedroom experiment (which has morphed into a two-man group with the addition of Mona D) has seen its profile & popularity rise, after successful tours supporting the likes of King Dude and Cold Cave.
Drab Majesty are the torchbearers for a certain strain of Goth, where the dark wave crashes full on into brooding Reagan era new wave pop. Demure captures a specific sound, whereas every production trick is precise and aesthetic rules the land. This attention to detail, along with Deb’s unique and heavily treated guitar style, is what sets Drab apart from the sea of Goth indebted groups.
The guitar tones captured throughout the album are phenomenal, as witnessed on the sci-fi waltz of “Not Just A Name.” Reminiscent of Duran Duran’s more subdued moments, only way fucking spacier.
Drab Majesty are masters of ethereal Goth, steeped in dated production tricks, while literally reaching towards the cold vastness of space. What was once a solo affair has morphed into a full fledged entity, and as the popularity grows, so to does the quality of the Drab output....
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FEARING
‘A LIFE OF NONE / BLACK SAND’
FUNERAL PARTY
The kind of dark, brooding, and equally booming rock music that FEARING create on their EPs ‘A LIFE OF NONE’ & ‘BLACK SAND’ has been sorely missing in recent years. 
Fearing are exactly what I look for in a great gothic rock band, they capture a mood & essence that rings true while blowing past any attempts at modesty. And while I enjoy when things are minimal & low-key, I can’t help but gush when a band, especially one steeped in gloom, comes along sounding all huge. Which is precisely how fearing Fearing operate, they create big sounding rock songs that take elements from post-punk, 90′s Alt-Rock, and deathrock and combine them into one brutalist take on Goth.
“Beyond Light” sticks to the aggressively dark template of chiming guitars, thick bass, and wallowed out vocals while “Other Life” opens up with big thunderous drums, rolling bass, and moody synths before linking with a pinging guitar and layered vocals. “Other Life” shows a growth in Fearing’s songwriting, with sprinkles of piano notes adding new depth and has easily become one of the finest entry’s in the group’s catalog.  
The EP format is surely the way to go in our modern times and the Oaklanders have taken full advantage of our attention-deficits by breaking us off a nice four track stretch, as they satisfy our itch and keep us wanting more….. 
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GRIZZLY BEAR
‘PAINTED RUINS’
RCA
Grizzly Bear, survivors of: the Brooklyn Sonic Boom, side projects, Indie Rock’s halcyon days, expectations, New York Magazine spreads, NYC itself, personal turmoil, indie labels, adulting, Taylor Swift, and most improbably…..themselves, have triumphantly returned with their first album in 5 years titled ‘Painted Ruins.’
‘Painted Ruins’ shows the no-longer-in-one place based group of Ed Droste, Daniel Rossen, and the two Chris combo of Taylor & Bear expanding on their already impressive sonic palette, while turning the focus inward. Grizzly Bear is the perfect example of “The whole is greater than the sum of its parts,” and for a group consisting of 4 very distinct musicians/personalities it’s really saying something. As corny as it sounds, when these four get together in a room, something special happens.
Album standout “Mourning Sound” is the straight ahead rocker we’ve been waiting for, a no BS thumper filled with gorgeous guitar work per Rossen. Truly one of the best things the group has ever penned as it manages to combine wistful regret (”I made a mistake….”) with a thick groove while deploying a goosebump inducing twinkle of synth.
Like most great albums, ‘Painted Ruins’ is a grower, with each subsequent listen revealing a new hidden nugget. The foursome known as Grizzly Bear have ended their 5 year absence with something meaningful, powerful, and refreshing…
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HUMAN LEATHER 
‘LAZY KARAOKE’
CERCLE SOCIAL 
HUMAN LEATHER, comprised of Adam Klopp (Choir Boy) & Chaz Costello (Sculpture Club), are a self described “shitty version of Tears for Fears mixed with Depeche Mode,” but don’t let the humble self-deprecation fool you, because the duo tap into something so pure and unfettered that you simply have no choice but to succumb. 
And I hate to be the bearer of bad news to those who feel the need to cling onto originality, but everything’s been done already, so get the fuck over it and stop missing out on some truly great modern acts.
The Salt Lake City duo aim to break your fucking heart on their debut LP ‘LAZY KARAOKE’ which is chocked full of Reagan era bangers and aesthetically dripping odes that nail every aesthetic detail. 
“Ugly Sister” is a pure synth-pop ditty cloaked in the aforementioned Tears for Fears (who at this point are impacting this generation on some Joy Division type levels) influence. The devil is in the detail, something Klopp & Costello clearly understand, as the intricate production alongside the airy & emotive vocal courtesy of Adum (who recalls Wild Beasts’ Hayden Thorpe) is something to behold.
‘Lazy Karaoke’ was easily the most talked about album within the goth/post-punk community and with good reason.  
“Everything is fucking scary……”
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JOHN  MAUS
‘SCREEN MEMORIES’
RIBBON MUSIC
  Well……..the wait is officially ended as JOHN fucking MAUS returned in 2017 with the long awaited album ‘SCREEN MEMORIES.’
The Minnesota (by way of the the World) based project never ceases to capture the imagination and does this by creating unfuckable with Goth Pop. Maus is the undisputed master of the deconstructed gem, and will remain so by adding the aesthetically pleasing extra mile in everything he touches.
‘Screen Memories’ is a fluid & fantastic listen proving that Maus hasn’t lost a single step since we last heard from him years ago. Maus, ever the pop-deconstructionist, is so well adept at creating nuanced pop songs, steeped in goth, that you almost take him for granted at this point.
While a melancholic crop of songs litter the album, the taut “Walls of Silence” allows Maus’ reverb drenched chant to roam free atop a bed of driving bass, eerie synths, and compressed snare snap. Limber, yet driving, this slice of gothic minimalism benefits from not only its creators expertise, but gains so much power from its brief 2 minute and 23 second run-time. 
If you’ve been sleeping on Maus, well shame on you, it’s time for you to wake the fuck up, press play, and soak up his mile-a-minute brilliance…
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NEW TODAY
‘BETTER THAN DEATH’
SELF-RELEASED
Goth comes in many shapes and sizes, from cold wave to guitar driven gloom rock and everything in between. NEW TODAY, the under the radar post-punk duo of Dante Palomba (Casuistry) & Daniel Srungaram (Two One Six), fall into the latter camp with their latest LP ‘BETTER THAN DEATH.’
The group bring the big 80’s post-punk ala the Sound, the Chameleons, and Love & Rockets, while pairing it with minimalist detail. Taking Interpol-like guitar work, which at its best has always been minimal yet evocative, while juxtaposing it with substantial movements and huge vocals that take their place in the front. Dante Palomba’s voice is a viable instrument and the group treat it as such, which is exactly why New Today fall into the Romance/Trad Goth grouping.
All the preceding beauty culminates on “The Years” in the form of an icy synth that reaches for the ether, while being reminiscent of Interpol’s slower moments (which is basically how the XX got paid) but with far greater feeling and veiled optimism. “The Years” is an emotionally moving piece, the kind that builds yet sustains, and revels in its stark beauty.
At an even 10 tracks, New Today seem to know that leaving us wanting more is the key and ‘Better Than Death’ is one of the most fully realized and expertly executed albums I’ve heard in quite awhile.
It’s good to be goth….
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PROTOMARTYR
‘RELATIVES IN DESCENT’
DOMINO
PROTOMARTYR triumphantly returned in 2017 with a new Long Player titled ‘RELATIVES IN DESCENT.’
This is a guitar rock record, which I know sounds like an oxy moron, but holy fuck the standard 4-piece is done proud throughout‘Relatives in Descent.’ This is the sound of an already great band furthering their footing and flexing their well defined muscle. Each member is in supreme control of their respected instrument: from the sharp lyrical prowess and spot on vocal take of Joe Casey, to the skeletal guitar riffs that blot entire song stretches via Greg Ahee, down to the powerful rhythm section courtesy of Scott Davidson’s driving bass and the chaotic (beyond time keeping) pace of Alex Leonard’s thunderous drums.  
The groggy “My Children” takes its time with a slow build of doomed kinetic energy, before opening up and falling into a rangy Proto groove of guitars, rhythm, and wordsmith diatribes. “My Children” builds and builds into a melee of guitars/drums/bass until the clouds part and the song opens up offering a chill inducing moment while Casey commands the room. The track’s guitar work in the final third is awe inspiring and note worthy.
By doubling down on what’s made them so great, while stepping out of their comfort zone, ‘Relatives In Descent’ finds Protomartyr at their finest, proving once again that the sons of Detroit are in it for the long haul....
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SEXTILE
‘ALBEIT LIVING’
FELTE
The Los Angeles based death-squad known as SEXTILE have triumphantly returned with the pristinely raw ‘ALBEIT LIVING.’
Sextile are the teeth, the brute truth, the harsh reality, the gritty glitz, and the creators of the mad mad world party record we need. The harbingers of bleached catharsis, consisting of the ridiculously attractive & stylish group of: Brady Keehn (vox/guitar/synth) Melissa Scaduto (drums), LA Eddie Wuebben (synths), and the newest addition Cameron Michel (guitar/bass), are trending upwards and with great reason.
That primal drive comes from Melissa Scaduto, not only through the floor shaking beats, but through her guidance, visual appeal, and aesthetic vision. Simply put, she’s the beating heart of the group, one that’s rounded out by Brady Keehn’s Cobra Kai-like bad-boy charisma, and Eddie Wuebben’s art damaged cool.
“Sterilized” is sinisterly delightful. A manic & breathy beast, where deathrock and new wave meet late at night to perform unspeakable acts upon one another. I found myself demonstrably head bobbing upon every listen (“can’t shake it”) while looking for the nearest dance floor thanks to the boogie down bass & drums. “Sterilized”allows Keehn to do what he does so well, that uptick coda (think “Can’t Take It.”), the melody of which is so fucking strong that I find myself walking around panting “Come on and sterilize me.”
Sextile have raised the bar for everyone on ‘Albeit Living’ as they establish themselves as Felte’s flagship group through hometown-hero sincerity and a cohesive album that never overstays its welcome...
***BONUS***
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DEATH OF LOVERS
‘THE ACROBAT’
DAIS
2017 closed out with a tender aesthetic bang thanks to DEATH OF LOVERS’ ‘THE ACROBAT.’
The New York based group, boasting no less than three members of the emotional-gaze band Nothing and keyboardist CC Loo, create timeless New Wave ran through a gothic dream-pop portal. It’s not a disservice or slight to say that Death of Lovers created the long lost John Hughes soundtrack that we’ve been waiting on, it’s simply that good, that infectious, and that sugary. 
“The Absolute” exudes a feeling of warm nostalgia, yet teeters with an anxiety inducing nervousness that’s coyly deployed over an upbeat arrangement of giddiness. The compressed echo beat, airy synths, and razor sharp guitar lines create a solid foundation for Domenic Palermo’s up in the clouds vocal (with a harmonious assist from drummer Kyle Kimball). 
Death of Lovers are keen architects of the smooth delight, as “The Absolute” is five minutes of pure stylized bliss and that’s long before the sound of an aesthetically pleasing saxophone buries it’s reedy goodness into your brain which slides in well next to yearning moody bummers like “The Lowly People” and “Divine Song.”
This is what it sounds like when Hardcore vets find their inner New Romantic (take notes Head Automatica).
Seriously, that sax tho….
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loverunderwater · 4 years
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You Get Me (2017) dir. Brent Bonacorso
summary: After a one-night stand, Holly develops a dangerous obsession with Tyler and transfers to his high school, desperate to keep their romance alive.
1/5 stars
I’m back and worse than ever, with more italics and less coherent thought than before!!
Listen, I’m not saying this movie is as bad as Life in a Year. But jeeeeeeesus it kind of is,,
Spoilers, duh, but maybe you should save your two hours and go watch something that wasn’t a waste of Netflix’s budget. Though, Netflix doesn’t really seem to have any regard for its budget or movies that are worthwhile to produce, considering the fact that it made an adaptation of a book with the exact same plot as You Get Me just one year later (You, 2018).
The entire first five minutes of the film were indescribably bad. One, it was a shot of the ocean with a man monologuing his heart out in a voiceover. Two, said shot of the ocean was interspersed with clips of adult actors who were way too old to be playing high school seniors fake-laughing on the beach like it was a laxative commercial. Three, said monologue contained lines such as “Love changes you,” and “The moment I saw her, I just knew. It’s like everything had been in black and white, and suddenly there was color.” I am not ad-libbing. I am not paraphrasing. I am transcribing directly from the subtitles.
Even later on in the film: “We’re done here. It’s over.”
“You found me.”
“So... last night happened...”
“I like who I am when I’m with you.”
“Your laugh, I love it.”
“This was special.”
I swear to god, the writers must have consulted 12-year-olds who published self-insert One Direction fanfiction on Wattpad for help on their script. Either that, or their Creative Writing professors in college need their teaching licenses revoked.
None of the lines in this movie were funny. They all tried so hard to be witty, and snarky, and all *mic drop*, but they were uncreative and predictable. Just like the plot and acting.
Plot summed up: Main dudebro with a forgettable name (it was Tyler but I’ll be calling him dudebro throughout this review) has a perfect life and is stupid in love with his girlfriend Ali. They go to a party and he gets intimidated by some other guy from Ali’s past who spews shit about how Ali used to be a wild child and slept around. DB takes it out on Ali because he’s pissy that Ali hasn’t slept with him yet, even though she has a perfectly valid reason for wanting to change her lifestyle habits before college.
They break up because dudebro has a small dick and can’t respect Ali’s space. He also gets jealous of her talking to another guy that she’s clearly not interested in, so we can check “can’t read a room” and “coward” off the list (which is probably why the rest of the movie goes the way it does).
DB leaves the party and sees Holly, who is the world’s most pathetic antagonist. They hook up, and then DB stays over at her house and acts super boyfriend-y even though he was soOooO upsET when he broke up with Ali the literal night before. They continue to hang out for the rest of the summer. Then when the school year rolls around, DB gets back with Ali and Holly has transferred to DB’s school.
She starts threatening to tell Ali what happened over the summer and this drags out for a super long time. Holly forces herself into their friend group to make it more torturous for DB and gets really close to Ali. Only one of DB’s friends thinks Holly acts sketchy which is ridiculous, since Holly is absolute garbage at acting inconspicuous.
Holly makes up more lies to win Ali over and make DB sweat. She starts stalking DB and breaking into their homes. Shit goes from 0-100 in ten minutes and DB finds out Holly is her middle name, and that she’s been expelled from multiple schools for aggravated assault. More badly written drama, Holly tries to kill Ali, DB comes to the rescue, the end.
Something absolutely hilarious about this movie is how DB began his speech with true love, and honesty, and giving you heart to someone, and yet he had absolutely no qualms about sleeping with Holly right after he’d broken up with Ali. True love, huh?
I don’t understand why all of the characters (except Anna Akana’s, named Lydia) were so oblivious to Holly. Holly even poisoned Lydia’s drink to remove her fro the picture. As Lydia fell to the floor, choking, Holly was sitting peacefully across the table from her. Did no one think that was suspicious? Did no one think to accuse the girl with a smirk on her face as her supposed friend was choking? Holly was also always lurking around the school to find DB and give him a dumb speech about how she thought they were in love. Did no teacher see her and tell her to get out?
DB is shirtless way too many times. I’m pretty sure the directors thought it would make up for his mediocre acting. It was not attractive.DB also doesn’t seem to realize that there are consequences for his actions throughout the entire movie. Neither does Holly, but at the very end, the writers tried to pull the “mentally ill” card to excuse her flat character arc.
A HUGE plot hole in the story stems from this lazy writing. If Holly has repeatedly gotten in trouble (seeing as there is almost an entire google search page filled with articles about her expulsions), even admitted to a therapist (though I think psychiatrist would be more accurate), why is she allowed back into public schools? Why is she allowed to be around sharp objects? Why does her mother, rich enough to afford a bigass mansion but stupid enough to keep her pills out, not know to hide her GUN from her psychotic daughter?
The worst part of this lazy, terrible writing is that the principal of DB and Holly’s school has no idea about Holly’s past. If you’re stupid enough to not make the connection between someone whose face has most likely been on the news for aggravated assault just because they go by their middle name,maybe you shouldn’t be in charge of thousands of kids who you’re putting at risk by admitting this student as a regular kid.
My absolute BIGGEST problem with this movie was how much stupid shit the actors did with their mouths. Miss Bella Thorne was either pursing or biting, or flexing, or puckering, or pouting, or twitching and it was disgusting, one, and idiotic, two. It happened way too many times for it to be a tick or a subconscious thing from the actors, which means the directors specifically went “Be sexy and mysterious,” every half hour of shooting and after the sixth time, Bella’s eyes hurt from looking out from underneath her lashes or giving dudebro side-eye so they were like “Fuck it, lick your lips.”
In short, this was not a good movie.
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sanoiro · 5 years
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Lucifer 5x06 - BluBallz - Spoilers & Speculation
Warning! There is always the possibility that certain scenes might have been mixed up under their non-respective episodes.
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Written By: Jen Graham Imada Directed By: Richard Speight Jr.
Jen Graham Imada has written/co-written the episodes:
3x07 - Off The Record
3x15 - High School Poppycock
3x25 - Boo Normal
4x07 - Devil Is as Devil Does
Cast: Tom Ellis as Lucifer, Lauren German as Chloe, DB Woodside as Amenadiel, Lesley-Ann Brandt as Maze, Kevin Alejandro as Dan, Scarlett Estevez as Trixie, Rachael Harris as Linda Martin and Aimee Garcia as Ella.
Season 4 Recurring Characters: None Officially Announced Guest Cast:
Andrew Steven Hernandez...Dax
Alexandra Hoover...Belinda Roberts
Alveraz Ricardez...Raul Blanco
Behind The Scenes Videos:
youtube
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Locations
LUX
Marina Del Ray (Different scenes day & night)
WB Jungle Backlot & Neighbourhood Area
Precinct
Linda’s House
Penthouse
Imada, as you can tell, knows how to reach us at that point where we believe that everything is up to be resolved and for Deckerstar to begin only to be halted mid-way. What you shouldn’t forget is that in 3x25 - Boo Normal this writer introduced us to Azrael and who knows it might be time for Ray Ray to make an appearance again although that’s an extremely wild speculation so treat it perhaps as a wishful thought than anything else. 
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Okay so, the sixth episode of Season 5 is called Bluballz and many may have hinted yet another unsuccessful Deckerstar ‘moment’ yet it is clearly also connected to the case so it is possible to carry a dual meaning. 
First, some had mentioned that it might be a drug and in an episode where a rave happens, it’s true that it would have been a plausible explanation. The other explanation is the crime scene blue led balls. Unfortunately if swallowed they can be toxic but a bts says something about shooting so at the moment no matter of how the title is connected to the episode let’s keep in mind that A) Lucifer & Chloe were not lucky in 5x05 and B) that it’s directly related to the death of this episode’s victim.
As we have several locations to explore I believe for 5x06we need to start from the case and then how the story is progressing through that murder case.
We do know 4 things about the case. 
First, we have the rave at night where the murder happens in the wee hours. 
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Second, almost before the sun is up Ella, Lucifer and Chloe are on the scene asking questions. 
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^As you can see there is some stiffness in both of their bodies and as we know that Ellis and Lauren can act that in a very good way I would assume that they are keeping their distance or they are perplexed. 
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^if you see the video she does not meet and hold his gaze. 
Third, for some reason, LUX is used for a rave party either as a sting operation or most probably because Lucifer decided to step in and help. The other possibility is that the rave at the end happens after the case has been closed but as they were shooting for days and almost 16h per day I would say it most probably be placed in the middle of the episode.
Fourth, the arrest happens back to the Marina Del Ray where everything started so the story of that case comes in a full circle, yet we do not really care about the case itself but how it relates to our main story.
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We have to note that in the bts we have Chloe and Lucifer seem a bit distant during their questioning on the murder scene. Chloe is uncomfortable as is Lucifer and Lucifer is almost too afraid to approach her in my opinion while she does not really hold his gaze. Whatever happened in 5x05 didn’t work on the contrary added a slight tension in Deckerstar. Nothing major in my opinion but it is enough for Chloe to need her space and her friends.
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^Prencinct scenes in between! 
Now we do know that the questioning also led Chloe and Lucifer (Lucifer had his Vette there) at a house at the WB lot yet what is more interesting for me is that they were close to the Jungle Backlot. It’s where the show “The Cabin” was shot in 4x02 but the vegetation is so good that it can be used for other projects as well. For example, if you go to the tour they will always mention that it was used for Jurassic Park :)
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The reason why I’m so interested in the Jungle is because in a bts I saw some props that made me wonder if they were just there because they didn’t have any other space to put them or they mixed shots from the Jungle backlot and the stages. As the camera is turned to that golden object I would be wary and add it in my “They are still searching” speculation. For what you may ask but all I can tell you is that everything is connected. Unfortunately, their quest may turn an unexpected factor to the mix. If my speculation is correct then the “Our Mojo” also involves Charlie.
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Now DB has been very excited with these episodes as I have as well mainly because it seems that Amenadiel is back in the very core of the series as he was in S1 while Charlie is growing and with crawling and teething other things come up as well. Perhaps wings, or powers. Perhaps… both.
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^Linda’s house shooting Kevin is probably the one on the left side. 
The scene though showed that it involved Amenadiel, Lucifer, Dan, Linda and Maze. Maze, as you may have noticed as a character, has remained quite elusive in the bts and the role it plays in this season but Charlie’s existence might be the key there or perhaps the 5x04 is. We shall see!
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Speaking of Charlie we had him in a wonderful lion top and there have been some scenes at Linda’s house. Now while the girls are busy at LUX which we will talk about in a bit, the boys or more specifically Amenadiel and Dan have some scenes together. Perhaps the reason for the bracelet was not Lucifer’s idea but Amenadiel’s and as such you should be prepared on Dan knowing early on that something is off if not the whole truth.
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Now one of the photos that make me wonder is the bts with their director and writer where Kevin has a weird doll on how left shoulder. Somehow it seems that time is running out and that makes sense as like with every other midseason finale or season finale the 3rd episode from the end gives us the route the next will follow. It sets the foundations if you like. Think of 1x11, 2x11, 2x16 or 3x08 & 3x22… The same happens in 4x08. There is always a chain of events that lead to the end and 5x06 will be no different.
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We do know we have some Penthouse scenes due to Rafferty and Graham but the content of these is a bit unclear. During a tour the couch was a bit roughed up with the cushions displaced and all that but we simply have no idea why or what will happen there. Also the book we saw in 5x03 during the Clarkson interview it’s still there on the coffee table so I would once again place my money on that one.
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^ I bet you didn't know that we have a new closet as it seems or even a bathroom as this may be either a towel hunger and to the left the shower curtain or an outfit hanger. I would bet on the bathroom set as for a hanger it seems a bit tall. ;) So... a shower scene is coming our way? Who knows... 
Edit: I was thinking about this and I now believe it’s an outfit valet it’s just that the wall is drilled on is also a hidden door to the penthouse set... 
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Moving on we get to what caught our eye on this episode the Ladies Night Out. It’s the third time we see them getting together and this time they are determined to have fun. The theme seems to be dress as crazy as you can something that is supported by Maze’s choice who perhaps consider Ella a lunatic so she decides to dress like her… I do wonder if they they just went and took everything from Ella’s closet to be honest… Although the net stocking might have been too much for Ella so no idea.
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Yet what would drive Chloe and the girls to go out? I expect that Linda needs a break from motherhood even for one night while Maze explores another side of her. As many may suspect I suppose she is growing a soul there somewhere so keep an eye on her. Now Ella was always quirky if you remember the wigs in S3 so do not see anything wrong there but why Chloe?
Episode 5x05 must have left Chloe with a lot to think about herself. Whether she finds out about her miracle status or not she seems to be in her own path of self awareness and as we have seen the only time she takes rush decisions of that kind is because of Lucifer. So whatever happened in 5x05 as been interrupted but I do expect that by the end of 5x06 she will have reached a decision once again but the timing will not be perfect in 5x07 as more problems arise.
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I should also mention that the setting of this episode does suggest that whatever Amenadiel, Lucifer and Kevin are up to is probably not known by Chloe and possibly by the rest of the leads aside perhaps Maze and even that is a big if. The reason of perhaps excluding Maze is because of a tangible connection that may aid or disrupt their plans yet that’s once again a speculation, yes based on actual spoilers but still a speculation on how an act will affect the rest of that plot. It is also why I connect in this episode Amenadiel with the Jungle set as well as with that set prop.
And finishing 5x06 it is funny as by the end of it a new set of problems will have begun and that includes of course a new threat. One supernatural in nature and the other as mundane as Earth killers come.
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^Last but not least up to 5x06 the Hell set was still standing so they have plans for it... For which episode we simply do not know but always keep it as a Joker card and you never know in which round it will drop... 
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^I do love Rafferty! 
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sanoiro · 5 years
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Lucifer 5x05 - Detective Amenadiel - Spoilers & Speculation
Warning! There is always a possibility that certain scenes might have been mixed up under their non-respective episodes.
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Written By: Joe Henderson  Directed By: Sam Hill
Joe Henderson has written/co-written the episodes:
1x03 - Lucifer, Stay. Good Devil.
1x13 - Take Me Back to Hell
2x01 - Everything’s Coming Up Lucifer
2x13-  A Good Day to Die
2x17 - Sympathy for the Goddess
3x02 - The One with the Baby Carrot
3x03 - Mr. & Mrs. Mazikeen Smith
3x14 - My Brother’s Keeper
3x24 - A Devil o My Word
4x01 - Everything’s Okay 
4x09 - Save Lucifer
Cast: Tom Ellis as Lucifer, Lauren German as Chloe, DB Woodside as Amenadiel, Lesley-Ann Brandt as Maze, Kevin Alejandro as Dan, Scarlett Estevez as Trixie, Rachael Harris as Linda Martin and Aimee Garcia as Ella.
Season 4 Recurring Characters: None Officially Announced Guest Cast:
Carly J. Casey...Sister Andrea
Eddie Flake...UNI
Matt Gerald...Hank
Carrie Gibson...Landlady
Alexandra Grossi...Adriana Nassar
Chaley Rose...Destiny Page
Behind The Scenes Videos:
youtube
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Locations
Penthouse
Precinct
Linda’s House or/and a Therapy Session - Rachael Harries was at the lot and although we do not know for sure when she shoots her absence in the bts does not mean she will be absent when I do mention her in S&S or if we do not have her in BTS. Moreover, the BTS do not reveal the ratio of scenes a character has over an other.
Murder Scene in DTLA - Amenadiel, Chloe & Ella
Long Beach - Los Angeles - Lucifer & Chloe
DTLA Jewelry District (Night Action Shooting) - Lucifer, Chloe + a few more stunts
This episode is a confusing one mainly because of its importance. Or at least its alleged importance that is based on two things. First that Lucifer may be finally free from the burden of Hell as he has finally found a dual solution on what ales him and Dan (I would call it more a co-dependence) and second because Peter Roth visited the set.
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Starting with Roth’s presence in the set I would like to say that whoever noted that him there was odd on many different levels, it’s correct. Roth is you already read the President  & Chief Content Officer of Warner Bros TV. He is the guy if I remember right who called Ellis and told him to shine his horns because the show had been saved and as rumour has it he is also a fan of the show.
If you look at the background it’s obvious they are in the precinct but the hilarious part is that someone thought to make a mind map which leads to the concept of what should happen when you are on time on and when on time off. Now at first, I thought it was Chloe’s idea but then that Lucifer decided to take advantage again of the precinct supplies to make a point sans a toy rock this time. There is also a chair there but can we claim that it is either Chloe or Lucifer’s board as it is in Ella’s lab? For all, we know Ella has had enough and decides to educate one of the two… or both.
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So the board ends with the supposedly that when they are working the time is on but when on a date they are on time meaning that Chloe should now SWITCH OFF her Detective mode and hopefully for everyone her phone. Like the fans, I suppose that Lucifer is aware of how many times he has been burned by technology and Detective work in general.
That leads us to the first stated importance of the episode. Lucifer is ready to date and this time I believe that Chloe is aware of that and nothing holds them back aside from A) her work and b) the fact that finding the answer to a problem and applying ourself to the solution is not the same.
At this point, we do not know how Lucifer and Dan are fairing but at least from Lucifer’s snippets on location he seems to be doing really well. There were no bts with Kevin nor any mention on the social media for him when that episode was shot but I believe he might have been at an award gathering out of L.A. However, the script does include him in the first page.
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PS I might be wrong but along with Sister Andrea we might have a few more... like a coven... I think 4 or even 5 but I might be wrong... Perhaps the murder happens in a monastery or a member is part of that coven and that is why Amenadiel’s help is needed? 
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^Well, this might be fun.... ^ 
Now what we can get from the bts first that we may have yet another Lucifer and Chloe moment on the penthouse piano as the stand-ins appear there in a bts. 
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There is also a monitor bts which is from the penthouse but for me, it looks like leopard pants or a couple embracing but that might be wishful thinking.
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What also has me thinking is a random drawing that was posted at that time where it shows a couple embracing. It might mean nothing and yet everything but I would advise starting this episode without expecting too much just in case.
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Lucifer yes does appear to have put a blindfold at Chloe and is dragging her across Long Beach. There is nothing else there so I would assume that the scene has more emotional depth than Lucifer’s usual grand displays. That’s good as it probably means he has learned to not rely on money to make a moment worthwhile with her. As far as I know, there might have also have transferred a car there but I do not know if the Vette was there, unfortunately.
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Yet should we rejoice? Is this is it? Well, we do see that there is  A LOT of trying yet this episode is titled ‘Detective Amenadiel’ not ‘Deckerstar overload’.  
It is true that we see Amenadiel and Chloe working a lot side by side, him visiting the murder scene and as far as we can tell not Lucifer. We also see that there is a weird Angel statue at the murder scene which resembles a lot of Azrael. Is this the time that Amenadiel learns the truth or that Azrael pops in and out for a guest appearance? Everything is possible but there are no bts to support it so I would once again advise to take this as a wild speculation.
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^Meaning that Lucifer was at the precinct with Chloe and Amenadiel at some point. 
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The bts at the interrogation room is a bit unnerving as it reminds me that Cain vibe but I don’t believe they are related to that yet it seems like a heinous crime has once again happened and this time the murderer is not about to go down that easily.
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How he is connected to Amenadiel working with Chloe well, we do not know. In my opinion whatever has happened it is also connected to Amenadiel trying to find something that will help Lucifer and Dan and it’s something that only he can spot. I wouldn’t be surprised if his necklace makes a comeback but again that’s a wild speculation. What we do see is that Amenadiel wears now casual clothes meaning that Lucifer is back on running LUX, yet at the same time we do know that there is at least one action scene that includes Amenadiel and Chloe according to their stands at one of the set stages.
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^Again just because we have few bts from certain actors or no info it does not mean they do not appear or that they are not important to the story!
Now the episode ends in a peculiar way, of course, it is impossible to know how and when I say episode, in reality, I mean case as that signals the end of the episode as well. The end of the episode takes as at the Jewelry District of Los Angeles in an alley where someone is expected to have a grand fall. If you remember the biker in 1x06 I’m expecting something like that but not exactly the same. We do know that Chloe that night wears her bullet necklace and that Lucifer comes to her aid or the other way around. We know that the resolution of the case is not easy but here is the thing… not everything is resolved as I do expect this episode to break us a bit.
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Henderson mentioned that we get answers to certain questions and the will not be pleasant. There is no guarantee that this episode is were Chloe finds out her miracle status but it is a likely scenario for a very simple reason. In 5x06 Lucifer and Chloe are a bit distant, something has happened, something that irks them and because of that they cannot move forward. Whatever we conquered in 5x05 perhaps comes in question in 5x06. Also, you should know that the Hell set up to that point was still up meaning they had more uses for it.
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Once again I remind you that this is a speculation but although 5x05 looks extremely good for Deckerstar fans it also appears to be coming with a lot of conditions… 
So 5x05 might not be what we expected but it will be memorable and that is guaranteed from Roth’s presence on set but also because Joe Henderson wrote this episode and thus we expect a leap in the story and of course Deckerstar.
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