roger who's nickname for buggy was "junebug" cause they found him in june and his hair is the same color.... buggy who hates it at first until he's climbing into his captain's bed at night bc of a nightmare and his captain says ever so softly, "oh junebug, c'mere"..... the nickname getting adopted by everyone on the crew until nobody calls him buggy anymore..... them meeting up with thr whitebeard pirates and getting irrationally jealous when the whitebeards use the nickname bc that's their nickname and who the fuck do these people think they are getting so close to their junebug.... rouge who has never met buggy calling him junebug in her head.... roger whose last words to buggy that fateful day before loguetown was "you shine like the sun, junebug. never stop"..... buggy who waits for years after the execution for a call from one of his former crew members, hoping every time the den-den one day it'll be rayleigh or seagull or gaban or sunbell on the other side with a familiar "hey junebug", except no one ever calls and the years go by and buggy slowly learns to stop waits, and gives on being the roger's junebug and learns how to be buggy the clown, buggy the genius jester, buggy the immortal, everything and anything other than junebug
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godddd i eat it up when certain characters are given this air of (at least perceived) almost divine invincibility - all-powerful, in control and unafraid. then there's Them, able to strip them of that, rendering once an incarnation of power a mere human again. flawed, incomplete, afraid.
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I can't sleep so anyway.
One of my main inspirations for durgetash and consequently my arch nemesis the longfic and my pen name as well as the longfics names is D. Gray Man. Some random anime I watched as a kid that I don't remember jack shit about.
Except for one particular scene/storyline/song.
Lala's Lullaby aka 'Lacrimosa'.
Just a doll, singing a prayer for a human.
It's so insubstantial, considering how long the series is. It's such a tiny, minor arc. But holy fuck I'm never gonna get over it.
'Are you sleeping? Then I'll sing you a lullaby.' Just fucking stab me won't you? That would be nicer actually.
So anyway now I'm crying again.
And for those who don't want to break their hearts like me, a quick recap behind the cut cuz yes I'm not gonna spoil an anime that's nearly 2 decades old.
A suffering society built dolls to sing and dance and to distract them from their pain, even if just for a minute. Those dolls very much looked like how you imagine a doll. Either way, the city fell, and the dolls all broke except for one that continued to sing for no one in particular until a child stumbled into the ruins one day (the child, in fact, was an outcast, as it was disfigured).
The doll took care of the child, and the child cared for her. Giving her a name, fixing her hair and putting a bandage over her broken eye. And they just lived in harmony and peace until protagonist came about and wanted to take the thing that powered the doll.
So of course fighting ensued between several parties. Until the now grown up child took the killing blow aimed at the doll. So shit halted and protag allowing the couple to fulfil their final wish, with Lala sending the man off and no one but the man being allowed to stopped lala in the end.
But with her energy spent, her core gona and her time running out anyway, Lala returns to her doll like appearance, becoming unable to utter anything but the programmed sentences. Inquiring if Sir Human would like to hear a song to which the man just begins crying and professing his love with his dying breath. To which the doll replies by asking if he's sleeping and proceeding to sing Lacdimosa, a prayer to send off the dead and beg for mercy for their souls.
As soon as her song finishes, she breaks.
Oh also the man was dying anyway. And despite their appearances being flipped before, he man wearing an inhumane mask and the doll looking incredibly human, in the end he looses his mask and the doll becomes a doll again. And in the end she just calls him sir human again, not by the name she used before. Just offering a song, like the first time they met so many years ago.
I'm so cool about this. I'm definitely not permanently ruined by what's like 10 minutes of television.
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see like what will likes/wants is softness, tenderness, and human connection. this is what alana can offer to will and what she wanted to offer will, were it not for the danger of being the only one will perceived being able to give him that stability
on the flip side, what will understands is violence, and through that violence will sees the opportunities for what he wants, which slowly evolves into what he needs. this is what hannibal offers and what he is more than willing to give to will if will would only accept it
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listening to old songs is crazy because. i remember all the lyrics and the beat and the structure but i forgot the way it made me feel. i'm now remembering and it's beautiful and i've rediscovered a part of my soul. the person i used to be is connecting with the person i am now. the person i will become knows that listening to these songs will always be a blissful, temporary escape into the past.
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Everyone stop right and please take like four minutes out of your day to listen to this masterpiece of a song, it’s called Crying Alone and it is absolutely masterful, perfectly soul touching and heart string tugging and amazing.
The fan songs people make are amazing, but to me this will always be the song playing in the cave when Gregor clutches ares claw for the last time, this is the song that keeps Feyre from breaking, and this is the song that lets Aelin hear Sam between every note.
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This has absolutely been discussed many times but I am once again losing it over the fact that "Rogue One" as a name is making sound out of silence.
It's formed as a last minute, emergency name for the shuttle, for the people aboard, for the mission when Bodhi says it; it has no precedent, nothing that came before it for that name to be used. But when Bodhi says it, it exists.
It both takes advantage of and retcons the Rogue Squadron we've seen before in the original trilogy, where there was no Rogue One. But there is now, because Bodhi said it.
Jyn's name, Cassian's name, K's name, Chirrut's name, Baze's name, Bodhi's name, every one of the rebels that are on the shuttle... none of them come up again in the things that temporally follow. Yes, those pieces of media were created before this film, but in the world of the story, they come after, and it becomes a remarkable silence.
Rogue One as the team that took Scarif and stole the Death Star plans exists as Rogue One because Bodhi pulls that name out of silence, out of nothing that preceded it. "Rogue One?! There is no Rogue One!" "Well, there is now." And after Scarif, there is no Rogue One again. It existed only for what it accomplished.
On a meta level, that's exactly what the film does as well-- it tells a story that was only a handful of vague lines before, draws it out of the lacunae and places itself where it belonged to tell a story that was restrained by the shape of the narrative that came before it and was unavoidably wrapped around it. It's the quintessential "doomed by the narrative."
There's also the fact that Jyn's theme is built around dies irae and reflexively creates a reference to her in parts of A New Hope and also makes the score tell you that she's doomed by the narrative to die but I've screamed enough already.
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