#it’s so fuckin miserable man i just wanna talk to people

[decaeysa]

cries

[lonelyplanetfag]

when is somebody gonna care abt me the same way i care abt them🤣🤣🤣🙏🔥icant do this shit anymore

[senselessviolets]

“stay soft”

Roman Roy x Fem. Reader

Rating E (Smut)

Word Count: 3.3k

AO3 Link

WARNINGS:

Mommy kink, smut, some plot, this man has MOMMY ISSUES™️, gentle femdom, titplay, breast sucking, so much dirty talk, Roman gets called “baby” a lot, no PIV, no uses of Y/N

Author's Notes:

The people have spoken—y’all want Roman being fucking babied in bed so that’s what the fuck I did and I have zero regrets. Totally gave up in the end but school’s been incredibly draining for me so I’m proud of myself for even getting THIS out.

[Gif creds: I forget. if it’s yours, lemme know!!]

Summary:

You are an equally wealthy childhood friend of the Roys and Roman in particular. After years of little to no contact with him, he and you decide to finally act on the mutual attraction you both share in the most ‘Roman way’ you can think of. 

“Okay, but like if we…fuckin’...if we fuckin’ do this, I will want…some things. But I’m not g’na fuckin’ beg or anything…call you mommy, ‘goo goo ga ga’…none of that shit. I will want you…to be there…and I will want you to ‘not be there’...if you catch my drift. I-I don’t wanna hear a fuckin’ word or a single moan. I don’t want—I just don’t want it, okay. And this might sound bad—even though I’ve definitely said worse—but you would be just a-a means for me,” a voicemail blears in your ear as you are made aware of the four calls you missed in your slumber, “‘Kay? I dunno. Think it over. It’s not fuckin’ life or death. Until it is. And I kill you. And hide the body and burn the evidence…kidding! ‘Kay, love you, kidding, ‘kay, bye!”

This was uncharted territory for you both. 

You and Roman and the other Roy children were longtime family friends. Like Stewy Hosseni or a lesser example Ray Kennedy. What that meant was your incredibly loaded dad gave Logan Roy an ungodly sum of money in the nineties and had managed to stay on his good side ever since. At their status, that’s what qualified as ‘friendship’. Everything was a transaction at the end of the day. Like you suspected Logan and Caroline had bought their way into their kids’ hearts, to even be in the same room as these titans—to breathe the same air—you had to beg, steal, or borrow. Fortunately, you hailed from less-than-humble beginnings; your father being an incredibly successful venture capitalist-turned-philanthropist and your mother the heiress of a billion-dollar publishing company. 

But it was all just details. 

You were eternally grateful to be an only child, imagining an existence where you and your progeny were destined to forever claw at each other's throats—all for whatever scraps your parents were generous enough to leave you.

Unfortunate. ‘Pitiful’ felt more accurate. Every hollow soiree and vapid function served as a reminder. These were not your people. And they never would be. And yet—

“Heya! Well, you look less miserable than usual. Lemme guess, you finally ditched Loser What’s-His-Face and have taken up my longstanding advice of giving lesbianism a try,”

“Hi, Roman. No, I’ve actually been reminiscing about our younger years together. Remember the time you threw up in your mouth before presenting me my corsage the night of the winter formal? Seventh grade? Ring a bell?”

“That was because it only dawned upon me then that I would be getting Cody Keener’s sloppy seconds,” he answers, “I just couldn’t cope with that, I’m sorry,”

You slug him in the arm and he reacts overdramatically, as if someone stuck him with the pointy end of a knife. Onlookers included none other than Frank Vernon, Hugo Baker, and a close friend of your mom’s, Michelle Anne. This time, you and Roman had crossed paths at your father’s 70th birthday party. It was held at your parents’ penthouse on the Upper East Side and attracted a decent crowd. Faces you’d sworn you met pass you by as strangers come up to you, recounting memories of you who were only this tall. It was always a discombobulating experience but you continued to frolic and mingle nonetheless. 

In truth, this little ‘reunion’ was nothing but a facade. 

You and Roman had been talking for weeks now after years of no contact with one another. Brief texts turned into prolonged phone calls which by the end of the night became one-sided, pathetic voicemails expressing some sort of yearning for the other. It was becoming all-consuming and quite frankly, exhausting. And now it had finally come to blows. 

There was a plan, there were contingencies (of course, there were) but above all—there was transparency. And that was something you could hold onto. Oh, the many men who lied their way into your bed. And then here comes Roman, who’d made it abundantly clear he’d rather inhale glass than have you worm your way into his. So this scheme would not transpire at his place or yours. 

It would be occurring in a Central Park Suite at The Carlyle—just a quick jaunt from your parents’ place. He deigned to be a gentleman and handled the reservations as well as your transportation because you had to already be there. You were going to be lying on the bed, in some satiny sleepwear. No lingerie, no hosiery—nothing that could be construed as ‘sexy’. You were to look mundane, average, and bored. 

Roman would enter and you would be still and let him do as he pleased. While you’d had this endeavor nailed to a T, you’d be lying if you said the prospect of him going off-script—doing things rougher, harder, doors off the hinges, letting his darker impulses get the better of him—didn’t make your knees buckle a bit. 

So once the candles had been blown, the birthday wishes made, and goodbyes were said—you were to slide into his black Range Rover SV while his secondary chauffeur Crispin brought you to your destination. In your duffel was your change of clothes and a few other goodies. It had crossed your mind—once, twice how exceedingly easy it would be to bail right about now. Crispin could drop you off on the side of the road like some floozy and then your personal chauffeur could pick you up and drive you back to your cozy brownstone for a mundane evening spent by yourself—alone. That was the part that struck a pang in your stomach. That was the truly unbearable part. That, and the heat between your thighs which was starting to become really inconvenient. 

…

Now was not the time to get cold feet. 

You had already slid your sequin cocktail dress off and exchanged it for your satin sleepwear. Like the pretty kept thing he’d instructed you to be, you lay flat across the plush hotel mattress, awaiting his arrival, legs swinging to and fro like an eager teenage girl.

Maybe he’d be the one to pussy out.

At least then you’d have yet another thing to hold over his head for the foreseeable future. In your phone’s front-facing camera, you inspected the makeup you’d done earlier that evening for the party and it still seemed sufficient. Your lips seemed a bit drab. You roll off the bed and I sift through the contents of your bag, searching for the mauve lip color you’d brought along. Dabbing it onto the purse of your mouth while gazing into the mirror of the room’s modest vanity—you begin to lose track. 

This isn’t it and you know it. 

You know it. 

So fucking do something about it. 

Examining the time on the wall clock, you decide to hastily shake off your striped satin pj set and tear through your duffel for the sheer lace slip and matching long gloves. Not liking the unkemptness of your long hair at this particular moment, you palm your bag for one of the chignon French hairpins that had sunk their way to the bottom—a go-to for you since your younger years. The best you can muster is a half-up, loose, more-than-messy low bun because suddenly, a knock on the door can be heard. Your heart leaps into your throat and you shove your duffel bag into the armoire in a hurried panic. The click of the hotel room’s keycard lock comes next and you spring to the door as to be the one to open it. You and Roman meet each other’s gaze through the crack of the half-open door, you two beam down at your hands, enclosed over both sides of the handle. He is very noticeably startled, not expecting you to answer the door.

“C-Come on in,” you stutter, gesturing into the hotel suite with a gloved hand. 

Roman’s mouth goes dry. It is not all that often the family jester is able to be truly caught off-guard. This absolutely was one of those times. He shuffles into the room with tepid steps and doesn’t turn around to face you until he hears the door click shut. With a blank, nonchalant expression—he shrugs, prompting you to provide some sort of explanation. Of which, you do not possess. 

“What?” you say. 

“What’s…all of that about?”

“Yeah, sorry…wasn’t really feeling the pajamas tonight. I opted for something I felt was a little more fitting. You don’t mind, do you?”

“No,”

He definitely fucking does mind actually. But any frustration at being caught unawares expresses itself in the form of big beautiful hazel eyes beaming at you with fear and uncertainty. His lips are parted, unable to form the words he can’t even begin to think of at this particular moment.

“So…,”

“...so…?”

“So…lay down,” you finally say.

Roman is able to briefly channel the smarmy assholeishness he usually hones with a sarcastic scoff and smirk. He shakes his head to himself before his gaze finds the floor. 

“...I’m sorry, maybe you just didn’t hear me right the first time,” you say, crossing over until you are eye-to-eye with him and your competing breaths can be felt, “...or maybe I should’ve been a bit more specific.”

You lean in until your lips brush the outer shell of his right ear and he stops breathing. 

“Roman. Lay the fuck down on that bed. Now.”

He quickly scrambles onto the bed, resting on his back while slightly sitting up. There is a tentative eagerness in his demeanor as if the last hints of resistance in his muscles had yet to dissipate.

“Good. Now can you unbutton your shirt by yourself or do you need my help?”

“...I-I-I need your help,” he mindlessly babbles, “P-Please. Please, can you help me?”

You click your tongue at his wanton request, attempting to maintain your composure. It was after the first ‘please’ that you knew you were going to willingly give everything in you to this man right then and there. 

The safeguards? Fuck the safeguards. 

The time for self-preservation was about five or so minutes ago before his knuckles had rapped gently on the heavy wooden door. Without breaking eye contact, you straddle him effortlessly, both knees on either side of his hips. You aren’t certain because all the blood had flooded to your ears and you were unable to hear much over the thumping of your own heartbeat but you swear you hear a quiet ‘oh god’ slip out of him. Your fingers find the buttons on his grey button-down and your wrists noticeably begin to shake as they undo them.

For fuck’s sake.

Up until this point, you had conjured the impression that you were the one in control here and that there was nothing he could say or do otherwise. But now the true vulnerability of the situation had begun to set in. The playing field had been leveled. 

His fingers enrapture yours and he steadies your grasp as you both work to unbutton his shirt. Roman swallows, anxiously. You get more than half of the way there before he gives up and presses his face firmly to yours. 

It’s a declarative kiss. 

It’s long-lasting and when the two of you eventually break it—you know there’s no going back. Those hands of his, wracked with nerves, find their way to your hips. He slowly drags the lacey fabric up so your upper thighs are exposed. Once you can feel the soft flesh of your hips exposed to the cold air, you grab his wrists and he freezes. 

“Ah-ah-ah, I don’t think I remember saying you could do that,”

“I-I’m s-sorry. I’m sorry. Don’t—I’m sorry,”

“So many apologies, they just keep on coming,”

“I’m…,” he deeply exhales out of his nose. 

“You’re what? Wait, lemme guess,” you goad, “Sorry?”

He bobs his head up and down, face full of embarrassment.

“Hm…think I’m a little sick and tired of those ‘sorrys’, sweetie. You and that mouth of yours. Oh, that fuckin’ mouth of yours. You couldn’t even begin to imagine the amount of headaches it’s caused me in what, the two decades I’ve known you? What are we gonna finally do about that mouth?”

Roman looks up to you, hanging onto your every last word. 

“I-I don’t know, j-just tell me what to do. I can make it up to you, I-I promise,”

You genuinely take a moment to mull it over, though the growing hardness pressing against your most intimate place admittedly was making it hard to think.

“...I think…we need to find another use for that mouth of yours—something to keep it busy, hm? How does that sound, my sweet baby?”

You swear his face goes pale as he assumes you mean your cunt. While the thought had crossed your mind (many, many times in fact), knowing Roman—you know that would be too much. And that you would lose him forever somewhere along the way and you didn’t even want to begin to think about that. 

You tilt your head, staring longingly at that poor little boyish face of his. Your clothed index finger traces its way slowly from the exposed flesh of his tummy, up to his ribs, across his collarbone, along his Adam’s apple, over his bearded chin— finally stopping at his pinkish bottom lip. You pull it down, making him pout for you. 

“Open for me,” you utter softly. 

Roman obeys, his tongue moving upwards in his mouth when he swallows. You continue to tease around his mouth torturously, the lace creating a delicious friction against his beard. The heat of his pants against your lone finger makes you stir inside. 

“Now, close your eyes—mouth still open,”

He noticeably resists before relenting, his eyes flutter closed. You drop one of the spaghetti straps of the slip off of your shoulder, exposing yourself. Your nipple pebbles in the cool air conditioning of the room. You awkwardly lean your torso inwards, inching your breast closer to his mouth. For a brief second, his eyes flick open, taking in the scene. Catching your drift instantly, he swallows as much of the soft flesh as his mouth will allow, moaning into it. The most obscene sucking sounds soon fill the room. Roman whimpers into your skin, letting his head fall limp against your chest. You wrap your arms around his neck, cradling his head. His brown fluff of hair is too tempting for your hands to not tangle themselves in. 

“There, you go…you’re so good. You’re so good for me, aren’t you? Yeah?” you sigh, tilting your head backward.

You swear you can feel your hips gyrating on their own. Roman’s fingers have ensnared themselves onto the flimsy fabric of your slip, gripping it so tight you think it might tear. Not that you’d give a shit if it did. 

“Y’know what I think? I think you act the way you do all the fucking time because you’re just waiting for someone to come and put you in your place, is that right? Yeah? You’re a brat ‘cause you want someone to do this to you? Hm?”

He releases your nipple and an almost pornographic line of spit drools from his mouth. Roman’s lips are plump and rosy, kiss-bruised and swollen. You find out just how warm they’ve become when his wet mouth comes to meet your own in a kiss so messy, you know you’ll touch yourself thinking about it later.

“I-Is this good? A-Am I being a good boy for you?”

“Mm-hm, you’re being a very good boy for me. My good boy. Mommy’s good boy, right?”

“Yes, fuck, yes—” he sobs, moving onto your other breast.

His voice is shrill and wrought with desperation. You only ever heard it get this high-pitched when he was making a mocking impression of you or some other woman. And now here he was, making these noises all on his own. The edge of his bottom teeth catches your nipple in just the right away. You squeal, jolting upwards in his lap and laughing at the surprise sensation. He soothes the sensitive skin with the flat of his tongue immediately after. 

“That’s it. There’s my boy, there’s my sweet baby boy,”

All of the sudden, his hands leave your slip and fly to the buckle of his belt. Roman undoes his zipper and shimmies down his slacks enough to pull his dick out. He jerks it quickly with his eyes wound tightly shut in an attempt to get himself completely hard. 

“M-Mommy, c-can I see ‘it’? P-Please, god!” Roman begs out.

Your current position leaves his cock hidden by the hem of your slip. All you can see is the silhouette of his fist in the fabric pumping up and down speedily—relentlessly. He could easily just lift the skirt himself and look at your bare pussy, just as he hungrily wants but he doesn’t. 

He waits. He waits for you to give him permission. 

“See what, sweet boy? Say it, use your words for me. You’re a big boy, you can do it. I know you can,” 

Your hands cup his face and you rest your forehead on his. The skin is taught and slick with sweat. A vein above his brow becomes visible as he strains into his own palm. 

“What do you want, Roman?” you reiterate, trying to regain his attention.

“Fff-fuck! Your p-pussy, I wanna see y-your pussy!”

“All together. Say it all together. Say ‘Mommy, can I please see your pretty pussy?’” 

“Mommy, can I please see your pretty pussy?”

His eyes finally open and they aim downwards, expectantly. 

“Is that all you want, pretty boy?”

“N-N-yes!”

“Is that all you want?”

“No! No, I wanna cum, I-I wanna f-f-finish! W-Wanna finish on it,” he whines.

“All together, baby…”

“Mommy, can I please finish on your pretty pussy?! Please!”

It’s on the last syllable of his sentence that he erupts. Only as he’s cumming is he able to look at your cunt. You swiftly move the fabric up and his load catches the edge of it, the rest of it coating your exposed pussy. Roman falls backwards limp onto the pillow and you roll off of him and the bed and onto your jelly-like legs. The two of you don’t look at each other, occupying opposite sides of the room while you make yourselves decent. You shed your stained garment, using it to wipe your cunt clean. You fling it onto the hotel carpet and don’t think twice about it. 

“Mind if I…borrow that…for a bit?” a weak voice croaks from across the suite. 

You turn your head and smirk, still topless.

“All yours.”

Briefly, you catch a glimpse of Roman from behind, buttoning up his shirt. You pull up your dress, sweatier than before when you had taken it off. You expected there to be a palpable shift between the two of you, had everything gone according to plan. You figured the next RECNY ball that was just around the corner might be a bit awkward but it was nothing a few sarcastic quips and some alcohol couldn’t fix.

“My guy’s still waiting out front, so that’s my not-so-stealthy getaway. I can have Crispin pull around in twenty if I guess, I dunno, you wanted to shower the stank off of y…”

Roman’s words trail off as he becomes caught up in the sight of you; your cocktail dress zipped up halfway, your hair in an even messier updo than before, one heel on with the other remaining to be seen. It left him dumbfounded, feeling impulsive, like he could leave everything behind then and there and things might turn out alright. 

“Um…d’you maybe wanna just come with me…I dunno. Back at my place, I mean. And don’t make it into…it’s not a thing. Th-This is not a thing. But, yeah, we could order in whatever you, you could stay over, I-I got spare rooms–”

“Roman—”

“—it-its not like a big deal or anything, y’know? This isn’t, this wasn’t ‘a thing’. Fuckin’ labels and everything, I m—”

“Roman! That all sounds fine; I just would like to exit one of the nicest hotels in the damn city not looking like a two-bit whore, yeah? Come and zip me up,”

“I mean, if you ask me—I think it’s a rather fitting look,” he says, echoing your previous words.

“ROMAN!” 

“Alright, fuck, fine!”

End.

{ Feedback is welcome! }

Follow me on twt: @endlessviolets

<3

[slocumjoe]

Concept for if Bethesda loved the other Companions same as old tricky dick

Gage; a dlc that doesn't kinda suck actually, but also properly explores what being a raider entails, and what kind of people end up as one. I don't think you could actually redeem him, but I'd like that idea to be directly confronted, as least. I've talked about this before but it's wasted potential that you can't make the Nuka Gang confront the fact that Oh Shit The Farmers Are Now Dangerous

Deacon: I don't think he needs his own side quest or even DLC, but I'd like him to have side quests attached to him, a la Nick's detective cases sidequests. He's a spy. Pls let us do spy shit

Piper: Same as Deacon, but I think she actively needs a sidequest. Her character gimmick, her plot purpose, and her actual affinity talks are so unrelated it's painful. Let her journalism actually be content, not just a bit of trivia about her. A set of side quests + a personal quest that addresses Diamond City's Problems with a capital P. Lots of societal issues in that little space and we do nothing with any of it.

Preston: just fix the Minutemen and give this man a goddamn break. The Minutemen just need a rehaul, so as to not have him be the quest giver. And give him other stuff to do! I wanna actually fight the Gunners! Bring up and address the failures of the old Minutemen!!! Please!!!

X6-88: give the bitch something oh my God. Much like Gage, I don't think you can convince him to let go of the Institute, but give us a CHANCE. Emil just seems so scared to ask hard questions and use interesting concepts.

Danse; finish his arc you thots (also I think Fallout 4 really lacks some humanizing/soft moments in the world and I think Danse would be a good. Subject? For them. Like a shelter dog getting to play with ducklings. Idk but I have a vision)

MacCready: they forgot that his whole point was having a whole ass baby. Give him his child wtf.

Strong; delete

Codsworth; stronger plot presence. This robot raised that old bitch let him throw hands. Also, if you wanted to put quests in Sanctuary that spawn up as the town develops, Codsworth would be a great quest giver and tagalong as you try and keep the piece and set up some kind of society.

Curie; I've said it before. I'm saying again. Curies whole deal should have been a major plot point. She's a robot that becomes human and develops human feelings with human biology. This is not important to any faction leader. What on earth.

Cait; yall fuckin know how I feel about Cait but honestly, her personal quest sucks so much I'd rather they didn't. Just give her more and better affinity talks. She needs more time to open up and develop, and 4 conversations is not enough.

Hancock; I have quite a few nitpicks about Hancock but the fact that Micky D getting ganked and being revealed to be a synth DOESNT MATTER is insane. Macdonough's last interaction with Hancock was crucial to his character arc and not letting that circle around is so, so miserable. Also, I want politically-charged quests. Campaigning! Discussions on economy! He's a mayor of this weird little anarchy town, let us play in that space.

[mrmorganswoman]

Hey, I've always thought about a girl who made Arthur that way... cold but soft at the same time, serious but funny.

Maybe she was in the gang when Dutch and Hosea found Arthur. She tried to help him. She saw both him and John as her little brothers.

Maybe she was the old Arthur of the gang, hunting and dealing with folks, making money for the gang. Maybe that's why Arthur is like that.

She died miserably, that's for sure. That's why Arthur chose to copy her persona…can you write something like that?

omg that is just a heartbreaking amazing idea omg!! the exact type of thing i like to write lol. also congrats to you on being my first request!! Xx

Dear Sister

How many years had it been?

‘Too fuckin’ many…’ Arthur thought with an angry sigh. He had the date written down in his journal, along with a sketch of her. And pages upon pages written about her, of every memory of her he could recall. He could go and look, if he had a mind too. But he never could bring himself too. It was too painful. He looked at the small whiskey bottle in his hand, and downed the last couple of gulps. It burned, but that was good. Better than whatever it was he was feeling before.

“Arthur, honey come 'ere. Sit down with me…”

The teen grumbled, before sitting down next to his older sister. She wrapped her arm around his shoulder, and it was like the anger within him melted away. He leaned his head on his sisters shoulder and sighed.

"What's wrong with you, kiddo? Talk t'me."

Arthur sighed into his sisters shoulder, and felt stupid tears prickling in his stupid eyes.

"I feel like a fuckin' fool. I wasn't shootin' right- And then I got mad at Hosea by mistake and now here I am- Dammit why can't I just be like you!"

She started stroking Arthur's honey blonde hair, giving his scalp a gentle massage.

"You listen to me Arthur." She began, her tone comforting and warm. "Even I have my bad days, where I can't seem to make my shot on the first try or when I make a dumb mistake on a simple job. It's fuckin' hard, aint it sweetheart?"

Arthur nodded, absorbing every word she said. Taking every breath to heart. He loved his sister so so much, he really did wanna be like her when he grew up. She was the best gunslinger he knew. She was Dutch's most trusted associate. She was orphaned, just like him, and taken in by Dutch. And now here she is, the finest outlaw Arthur knew! She did good for the gang, making them money, pulling off the most complicated heists with ease. She could hunt, moving through the forest like one of them lynx's, silent and deadly. And, according to Dutch, she was the best enforcer they could ever hope for. Never once failing to collect a debt, or scare people off their trails.

"Honey you listen to what I'm telling ya' now. I want you to never forget your worth. You are a skilled, gifted, good young man and ya' always will be. Don't you never let anyone tell you otherwise. And when times are tough, you are tougher. I want you to be strong for me Arthur, always. You promise?"

Arthur pulled away from his sister, looking at her in her pretty blue eyes. Though he would never tell her that.

"I promise. sis. I'll be strong for that stupid little John too." Arthur said, his tone is light but he meant every word with a deadly seriousness.

"Atta boy!"

Arthur looked at the bottle in hid hand, and with an enraged yell smashed it against the nearest tree. It shattered, a few sharp shards flinging back and cutting him in the face.

"Arthur! What the hell is the matter with you!?"

Ugh. Of course it had to be John.

"Get lost!" Arthur snapped, quickly standing up off the ground. Arthur stormed off, but stubborn John followed him anyways. "Marston god dammit leave me ALONE!"

“ARTHUR!” John yelled. Arthur snapped his head around, enough anger in his eyes that John was surprised he wasn’t dead. "Arthur you’ve gotta know by now that I know when she is on your mind! I know how you feel! She was as much as sister to me as she was to you! And-”

“WERE YOU THERE WHEN SHE DIED?!” Arthur roared, every speck of rage, grief, and sadness he was feeling fueled his words. “WERE YOU THE ONE WHO HAD TO LOOK INTO HER EYES AS THAT AXE WENT THROUGH HER HEAD!? DID YOU HEAR THE SOUND OF HER SKULL CRACKIN’?! DID YOU HEAR HER SCREAMING YOUR NAME FOR HELP WHEN THERE WASNT A DAMN THING IN THE WORLD YOU COULD DO?! DID YOU HAVE HER BLOOD COVERIN’ YOUR HANDS? YOUR CLOTHES? IN YOUR HAIR?”

“Arthur-”

“YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH MARTSON CAUSE I AIN’T FINISHED!” Arthur inhaled a deep and shaky breath before he continued. “You know what it sounds like, or how it fuckin’ feels to have to pull an axe outta someone’s skull? The way it sticks, how hard you gotta pull on it? The sound when it is finally unstuck?”

John sat there, motionless. The words Arthur spoke made him ill, but it was the truth. Their sister died a horrible death, one she didn’t deserve in the slightest.

“I couldn’t even bury her body. I had to run. They shot my horse dead, and when I came back she was gone.”

John opened his mouth to speak, but decided against it. When John didn’t speak, Arthur continued.

“So Brother.” Arthur spat, the venom in his tone enough to make flinch away from them. “Don’ tell me you know how I feel, cause I can assure you, ya’ haven’t got the slightest fuckin’ idea.”

With that, Arthur stormed off. He headed deeper into the woods, not giving a damn about the time of night or predators or anything. He needed to be far away from everyone and everything, to clear his head.

He knew he couldn’t save his sister. Then or now. She was gone, nothing left of her but the gamblers hat on his head. It had fallen off, before….

‘I’m gon’ kill that son of a bitch…..’ Arthur thought, knowing with a deadly certainty that this was the only thing he could do. He had attempted to find them before, but this time he wouldn’t fail.

He couldn’t save his sister, but he damn sure would give her the redemption she deserved.

a/n: thanks for such an amazing request anon! i might have to include this sister in the fic im working on rn! Xx

[infoglitch]

I have opinions. On jaune. (Shipping wise)

To clarify this is just my opinion. And my opinion is

garbage

But I want to talk about my favorite noodle so stfu Im talking.

And this is not me going "oh this is how jaune should be treated in every single shiping fic". This is just me acting like I have a huge dick and stating my terrible, terrible opinions.

Let's start.

1: jaune doesn't get bitches. The Bitches, get him.

Not to some of you I know you're all kicking screaming vomiting and crying because "obobobo b-but jaune has to pull bitches! I-its the only way I can escape this cr-"

SHUT

First, Jaune is not a self insert nor is he a character we project ourselves on. he is a character who has flaws and has his own personality.

He's an idiot and most of the times is a pessimist trying to be an optimist.

He gets things wrong, and he does really dumb stuff like faking his transcripts. He's not you, he's not me, he's not anyone else aside from Jaune

So when I say he doesn't get bitches, that's not being mean it's just kind of the truth, Jaune does not have a lot of confidence and when he does flirt he does it in really terrible ways, (just ask V1-3 Weiss)

But that's not everything I say because I also made sure to add that the bitches get him. Jaune is the kind of character who fails when he's trying because hes trying to seem like he's got things under control, he's going overboard which results in him comically failing, but when he's just being himself being a genuine person he does things really well. He is very much terrible at flirting and man has no skill with women, and he lacks confidence. Which leads to number 2.

2: Jaune is not cool. (In a good way)

Look I love my noodle man but even I can admit he is cringy. He does things to the max when he sets his mind to it which will fail. Because when he does those things he doesn't have either the confidence or the understanding he needs to do it. Take literally any attempt with Weiss he's tried asking her out, he's failed constantly because one he tries to impress which with Weiss makes him seem like he's just another fake face, after her heart for her name (which he isn't, it's just due to misunderstanding) he runs head first without the context or the confidence. He tries to impress but he comes off awkward like he doesn't know what he's doing. (Like that one time he tried asking her to the dance by playing the guitar and FAILING miserably.)

But just because jaune doesn't have the confidence or understanding doesn't mean he can't be cool.

He just can't be cool all the time. Jaune is a terrible liar and he's just upfront alot of the time. He's genuine and he is metaphorically unable to actually hurt people without getting welled up with emotions.

He's only killed ONE person, ONE actual person and we all know what that did to me. He broke and he was probably horribly traumatized.

Next is number 3

3: JAUNE IS NOT A SEX PRO.

Do I even need to elaborate on this? Please I don't want to elaborate on this!

I have to? Oh god... Ok FINE I'll elaborate

There are many, MANY jaune fics that I don't like in certain aspects. And if their smut expecting to see atleast one thing.

Jaune not being a Dom. Or you know, not having experience.

Jaune.. is a idiot and he's... He's not skilled in a lot of things. And one thing that just BURNS me is jaune switching up and being all dominant and aggressive (that's one of the things I wanna avoid writing jaune as)

Just let the noodle be tender or Inexperienced, At least if this is his first time.

And on a semi-related note I remember reading this one nightshade fanfic that I really liked, where it had Blake asking Weiss for advice on Jaune when it came to sex and in the fic Blake had experience meanwhile jaune didn't and was nervous if they did fuck he wouldnt reach a vague standard he put. It was a really good fic, it was really hot as well and I can't find it and it drives me up the fuckin wall because I really wanna read it again because it helped prove my point when it comes to jaune having sex and it's just- UGH. (Please if you know what the fick is just message me the link I beg you, PLEASE of you find send it to ME!)

Look I just REALLY like jaune (to a concerning degree even) and I just REALLY wanna talk about how I view him and I just... I just can't cause I suck at writing essays cause my brains just-

"ok I'm gonna write this- OH I GOT A NEW IDEA IM GONNA WRITE THIS- oh but theres also this and- BUNNY RABBIT"

Ugh I hate my brain and my attention span.

Anyway my trashy opinions on my second favorite character aside. Have a golden day and cheers.

Rock on till ya drop tata mothafuckers 🤘

[koicrimes]

i've been reading a bit lately. mostly romance and erotica but i've read other genres like, suspense and thrillers too and i wanna issue some formal complaints about the trends I've noticed in roughly the last 20 books I've gone through:

-too many virgin fmcs. i get it. there's a lot of people out there who are virgins. i get that not everyone has experience in dating and sex. i get that but if I've read 20 books, at least 15 of the fmcs are virgins. and it's held up like some sorta virtue that differentiates her from other woman. it's very tired. where are the fmcs who are comfortably experienced before they meet their love interest??? where are the fmcs that are actually kinda slutty???

-toooo many slutty mmcs. i get it. them men be fucking out there. but if the ladies are all virgins and the men all fuckin, who are they fuckin at this point?? each other??? lmao. i dont mind mmc with sexual experience. personally, i am more attracted to people with experience. however, that is not to say that inexperienced men are somehow invalid and unappealing. why have i not come across at least ONE virgin mmc? where are the men that aint seen so much as a boob on tv??? (okay that part is a little crazy but yall get meright?)

-social/politcal (online) movement speak in narration and dialogue that have no effect on the story itself. i have a couple instances of this:

1.) the mmc's love interest was a plus sized girl and he spent like 4 pages explaining to the readers what being plus sized meant, how hard is to live in a bigger body, how there should be more clothing options for his plus sized girlie and those like her, how unfair it is, how there should be more plus sized representation, etc. And like, if the writer wanted to make a statement about that? that's fine but using him instead of her to communicate HER ISSUE??? and not only that, but going on and on about it for multiple pages at once and then additionally throughout the remainder of the story? it isn't off putting per se, more so just that it takes me out of the story because i have to listen to some man, who was described as appearing as if his body was carved in stone by the gods themselves, explain to me why me and his gf can't find good jeans in our size.

2.) the mmc assures the readers that he's actually not a misogynist bc he took a gender studies course in college and is actually kind of a feminist and will make sure we know how much of a feminist he is despite wanting to act out degrading, harsh fantasies with his love interest but it's okay because he's a feminist, promise! (if two consenting adult characters wanna bruise each other, spit in each other's mouths and call each other demeaning names, I SAY LET THEM! but i promise i don't need 50 reassurances that the guy doesn't have anything against women... or otherwise, i'll think maybe he's got something against women.)

-when the men speak about the things they love about their FLIs, they talk about them in a way that makes me feel like... they've never met a human woman with hobbies before the LI and if that was the case, it'd be cool i guess but it's not. and because it's not, it's very off putting to read these women being spoken about as if they're aliens with nice tits. a couple instances again:

1.) the mmc was somehow mindblown that his LI was good at photography when she was literally a mega famous influencer whose social media presence he was apparently very aware of before formally meeting her.

2.) the mmc was mindblown that this woman of excessive wealth/means (who he knew was of excessive wealth/means) was well educated, well read and over all had her shit together... as if her background wouldn't have nearly guarenteed as much.

-miserable single characters. omfg, there was this one book that was more of a thriller with elements of romance sprinkled in and like, the female main character's whole entire personality was that she was single and racing with her biological clock... girl, you are 34. please, be calm. she was literally so fucking insufferable. she'd go on a date with someone and be just about ready to plan her wedding to him (AFTER THE FIRST DATE- GIRL, STAND UP OMFG). she couldn't be happy for her friends who were in decent relationships. like, i get jealousy can be a very normal human emotion but like? damn, you can't even manage to be a little happy that your friends are happy??? are they even your friends???

-fmcs exhibiting creepy, weird, gross behavior and the mmc doesn't aknowledge it as anything other than sexy. i'm sorry but if i'm talkin to a woman i can't see and i find out that during the entirety of our conversation, she's been flickin her bean to my voice without my consent and taking advantage of the fact that i can't see her, i'm not gonna nut over how hot that is once i find out. i'd be ready to kick her ass and/or call the cops. like?????

idk there's more im sure but i'm tired and cant think straight. idk if any of this even made sense. but yeah. just some gripes

[jaythelay]

Halfway through the debate and tbh both are putting me to sleep but at least when Kamala speaks or Dump lies I perk up or chuckle.

Man he really fuckin flopped that debate. Everything he said goes to show how much he was setting stuff up for people to fail on. Much like the afghanistan pullout he fucked us on before anyone could reasonably fix it, the immigration shit is absurd to run on at all when we all know he tanked a bipartisan bill just so dems wouldn't have a win.

Then he says he stacked the supreme court with his goons, goes on and on about how they protected him and shotdown the college relief bill. Buddy you just told everyone you're the problem. Like there is no other way to look at it.

Kamala did great and tbh she's been effective as hell on getting actual messaging out that Biden never tried.

Otherwise like holy shit Dump lost that debate hard. Doesn't help he looks like shit going on stage and forgetting to do a handshake so Kamala had to essentially be a handler for him, and going off stage? Dude looks like he lost his chin he became so weak lookin.

There's actively nothing to gain listening to him because quite literally everything is a lie. It's not even hard to fact check it like, it's nonsense pulled out of thin air, tabloids, and TV that's essentially tabloids.

That weak ass "But I saw it on TV!" is so miserably pathetic. Golly gosh darn that's cripplingly embarrassing. That's a simpsons joke only possible before the internet. That's how old this old fuck is.

Gotta appreciate how his smokescreen looks damn insane when Kamala just doesn't give it a platform of any kind. Kinda just goes "Oookay and back to the show!" with him everytime he stops talking. Legitimately that's how best to handle it. Treat it as the awkward dementia riddled raciat grandpa sputtering some nonsense at the dinner table and moving on like it didn't happen.

It's good stuff. She really nails home the lack of guardrails he has if he gets in, and the part where he just....sorta glitched out and went off about cats being eaten in...Ohio? Okay? It's, again, a dementia riddled racist grandpa moment, a smokescreen meant to pull you into the mud of his broken mind's current set of dangling keys, it gives him control in that manner.

She did great, especially for a first time debate with him? Dude I'm kinda sad Dump's too scared of another debate, that was practice! Cmon! Biden flopped damn near everytime on his smokescreen! Everyone has! I wanna see it flop into unavoidable embarrassment! She's been the Only One to find a way around it! Damn!

I haven't finished yet but even the first 20 minutes is enough to draw conclusions for even the dumbest of fuckers. Literally what is there to dislike about Kamala that Dump isn't a billion times worse about? Even if you agree with his policies, his cronies are dumbasses who heed to the highest bidder, even he himself says he had to fire a shitload of people! That's just shit leadership in any regard, you can't have a cycle of people and expect any of them to gain footing-

Ah there I go, working off what he said on a whim, I'm headin to bed, god damn what a swap from last debates.

[dappersautismcreature]

ngl it is wild being a viewer of one team pov (red btw, hello from the other side lol) and then going and checking out what people watching the other team pov are saying and seeing such wildly different interpretations and discourse surrounding the same series of events LOL. like each side is like it’s the Other team that has a victim complex, no one has suffered like we have, they don’t know how good they’ve had it listing all these examples fhjdkdk people see things one way from their chosen pov and get Angry and then are told it was a total misinterpretation by someone who watched another pov and then are like, oh. understandable and then the cycle repeats, it’s surreal, purgatory is truly a very unique competitive viewing experience lmao

yeah... what can ya do. the only true imbalances, in my view of course, are audience power. like i think That is where most of blue mains defensiveness comes from.

like even the ccs are pointing that part out. and bad especially gets so much fuckin hate even from blue mains its awful.

but with the rest, idk man, blue and red have both fucked eachother over. i will say in my biased opinion, both teams have victim complexes but i think red ccs feed into it more? especially surrounding bad? like when philza today said "i hope red is the cursed team so the eggs deaths can be on bad" 💀 that was awful, that was what red stan twt talks about and then the next sentence theyll say "i hope dapper dies brutally in front of bad" << that shit is not fun to hear.

saying ur team has suffered is chill, its purgatory, everyone has spent hours watching their team be miserable. but idk man ive never seen a blue main say "i hope -insert egg here- dies in front of red so they can be guilty and horrified" (i have seen people saying that they hope the cursed team is blue so red team can stop holding the first day over blue" so ya know, not perfect)

ive said this since day one, an eye for an eye makes the world blind. at this point both teams are blinded severely and it doesnt matter who blinded who when and how and with what tool, theyre just both blind and miserable. like? my only issue is with how the teams respond on a semi meta level, not the atrocities, really.

and anon if you wanna point out some examples of shitty things i or other blue mains say, feel free, id love to see ur point of view like. thats the only way to get past bias, is reaching a hand over and sharing information. how else, ya kno0w?

sorry for the ranttt just have so many thoughts. also might have derailed ur point but O____O what can ya doooo.

[angie-long-legs]

Tw mental health and sexual stuff and sappy shit

This is a weird confession to make, but I really want to talk about it with somebody, and I feel like you are the least likely person to judge me in all of hell, heaven and earth, so hear it goes.

A couple of months ago, I was at a really low point in my life. It started years ago, it ended around February. I was really, really depressed. I was not taking care of myself, I was not eating well, I was neglecting hygiene. I had reached the point where I wouldn't get out of bed not even to bathe and my skin had started to rot. I was just on my phone all day to distract myself or crying.

And at some point, I got lucky, and I woke up one day, and it was one of the good days. I wasn't okay, but I didn't feel like I wanted to die, so I managed to talk myself into dragging my ass to the shower. And I don't know why I did that, I don't know what urged me to do that at that time, but I started touching myself sensually.

I have never done that before, because I had grown up in a Mormon household, that taught me sex is only for reproduction, it's only between a man and a woman, and I should only let my husband touch me after I get married. So it was my first time ever m@sturbating. And it was nice.

I finished my shower and I felt okayish. I didn't feel exhausted as if I had just finished a chore, which is how I felt in the past after doing literally anything. And a couple of days later, I hopped in the shower again, because I wanted to do it again. And I did. And it was nice.

And I started holding this sensual satisfaction as a bargaining chip over my head, in order to convince myself to go take a shower. And I started feeling lighter and more proper because I was sort of taking care of myself. And that encouraged me to do other self-care practices. Started brushing my teeth again, fixed my sleep schedule, I started eating better. I started getting better in general.

And now I'm a lot better. I have some bad days, but for the most part I can be a functioning member of society. But I feel terribly guilty every time I think about how I'm doing better, because I feel like I cheated. I feel like I somehow found an easy way out of depression. And it feels unfair that I just discovered something and I was all good when there's people killing themselves left and right everyday.

I even left the Mormon church after realizing that tons of the stuff I had been taught there were contributing negatively to my mental health, and I feel guilty for that too sometimes.

That's all. I guess I just wanted to rant about this to someone, and I felt most comfortable talking about it with you. Thanks for listening.

It appeared Angel had been promoted to bartender for the evening - at least, that was the role he felt as though he was undertaking as the stranger shared such an intimate story of theirs. Hearing about other's sexual affairs was nothing new to him, but being confessed to about something so... inconsequential? So every-day, and yet clearly so meaningful to them? It took him back almost a century to his own religious upbringing and the impact it had: the profound shame, the deep-seated self-hatred that festered within him.

"Y'know," he started, tone softer than was typical for him, "It ain't cheatin' ta find somethin' that makes ya wanna get outta bed in the mornin'. An' even if it was, so fuckin' what?! Everyone's lookin' fa some kinda cheat code ta make life less fuckin' miserable, an' you found yours. Use it."

Some people think they've found their cheat code - Angel included. Addiction often disguised itself as such, promising a lighter existence, distraction, euphoria. But the finer points of this stranger's tool for coping were lost when it came to Angel's pick of poison. Drugs fostered no motivation for self care, no happiness that came without the devastating crash of the comedown, the desperation for another fix that nothing else would satisfy.

For this stranger to have found something that made them feel good while simultaneously improving their wellbeing? Angel only hoped he would someday find such a thing.

"Besides, sex is fun!" he shrugged, offering the stranger a playful wink. "Even if yer just playin' around by yaself, sometimes that's even betta' than with someone else. Who else knows ya like you do? Why shouldn't ya make yaself feel good? 'Specially if it's helpin' ya look afta' yaself. Doctors should fuckin' prescribe that shit, baby. Jerkin' off is a helluva drug!"

A weighted silence fell over the pair as Angel's own past wandered into his consciousness. "But, uh... I hear ya," he nodded solemnly. "Where yer comin' from, I mean. It's rough when ya grew up bein' told that sex is somethin' ta be ashamed of. But the best thing I eva' did was learn that it ain't. You ain't doin' anythin' wrong, and if someone's got a problem with what yer doin', that's on them. It ain't their fuckin' business what ya get up to behind closed doors. If it helps ya, makes ya feel good, and don't hurt nobody, why the fuck shouldn't ya do it? Ya deserve ta take care a yaself - in every sense a' the term!"

[soudakuwunmoment]

expressing my take on dream is how i finally get cancelled but tbh im ready.

so i just watched the moistcritical video on whatever bullshit happened on twitter regarding him.

i wanna establish that im not exactly a dream fan. i dont watch videos of his or really anyone from that part of youtube. i dont think hes that great of a person necessarily.

also, i want to establish that i am an idiot 18yo boy. ight? im not some kind of expert on this shit. its literally just my take. its an opinion. and im putting it on the internet. as people tend to do.

okay. recap. dream allegedly sent snapchat videos of him moaning to a minor. there is zero proof that the video was from him, and zero proof that it was sent to a minor. then the fight between dream and gumballva. oh my god. guys. god i cant even with this bit. alright alright ill get to it

im gonna completely fuckin disregard the snapchat thing. theres absolutely no proof. innocent until proven guilty, as it goes.

about the fight between dream and gbva. holy shit stop taking sides. both of these men are immature man babies whos fame got to their head. "it was a physical fight!!!!!!" believe it or not, drunk slapfights happen sometimes. just because the fight was between two famous guys doesnt make it any more important or significant.

gbva was referring to himself as Michelangelo. he was saying how dream is "miniscule compared to him" like the worlds most pathetic dick measuring competition. he mentioned his "intellectual stature" guys. my friend told me about how the gumball va TOTALLY BURNED DREAM and DESTROYED HIM so i had high expectations. but no. the guys just stroking his own ego and shittalking some other guy, and people are hype about it because the other guy is dream and OOOOOOO DREAM BAD GUYS.... and because gumball is pretty well loved as a show. he called dream a slur. like on one hand, it is INSANE to me that a famous guy called someone a slur and twitter cheered. on the other hand its actually not that big a deal. yes, slurs and homophobia are a big deal. but let me reiterate that this is literally just two drunk dudes trying to roast each other and failing miserably. a slur isnt going to end the world. like it isnt cool that he said it, he shouldnt have said it, but honestly what the fuck ever. people are being killed in mass rn and this is what we're arguing about and im part of the problem so WAHOO.

and then theres the fact that dream recorded it. guys its not that fucking weird. im sorry to burst your bubble but recording arguments or recording when someone is aggressive towards you isnt abnormal. was it a little bit dramatic and incredibly childish to post it on twitter? yeah!!! duh!!! this is dream we're talking about. dramatic. childish. but the thing is, and hear me out, hes allowed to do that. insane as it may be, humans are allowed to be dramatic and childish. humans are allowed to brag about their "intellectual stature" in a cab after a night out. humans are allowed to be flawed. no, i dont think he was recording it due to feeling unsafe. i do in fact believe he was recording it to start drama. i believe whole heartedly that dream recorded the argument hoping his teenaged fanbase would run to his rescue. and you know what? who gives a shit!! are you actually surprised? are you REALLY? because dream very obviously has something wrong in his head. im not saying that the shit he does is okay because of it. but i want everyone reading this right now to imagine how you would realistically cope if you suddenly became famous during the fucking plague at the ripe ass age of 21 in the span of a month and then spent the next 3 years being either worshipped by children in mass or brutally harassed by literally the entire world. because believe it or not, 21 year olds are immature and are not normally equipped to deal with a situation like that. its entirely possible that dream already had issues, and its also entirely possible that he FORMED issues in the past 3 years due to the intense stress of his situation. dream is fucked up. dream has issues.

but listen to me. as far as we know, dream is not a pedophile or a murderer or a racist or a homophobe or any of that shit. sure, hes awful at babysitting each and every one of his bajillion preteen fans, but thats kinda not his fucking responsibility??? if a kid is going around doing awful shit in the name of some guy, blame the kids parents. its their job to teach their kid how to act online and around other people. and sure, dream is very very likely a narcissist and seems to be incapable of criticism and needs attention constantly or else he keels over like a scared gerbil and dies. hes kind of a shitty fuckin guy!! BUT GUESS. WHAT. so is like 70% of the population!!!! most of us are fucking awful!!

i know i cant change shit, i know id get bodied by even a single dream anti. i just wish people would stop giving him attention, leave him the fuck alone, and let him get therapy or spend a year in the woods or smoke some fucking weed idk.

seeing the reaction people have to literally just some schmuck makes me TERRIFIED of putting myself out there. can we all just accept that everyone is flawed and sometimes good people have shitty takes or do shitty things. if you had the same exposure to the world that dream did, how quickly would YOU get cancelled? im just. im fucking begging you to look at this guy (and other equally underwhelming schmucks) with a critical mind and context to why you may see them the way you do.

im not tagging this shit i dont hate myself that much. i dont mind if no one reads this i just wanna rant. just leave the guy be.

[heartz4aspenn]

my ex dared me to write this and i found it in my google docs

uh hi first post woo! Cw: sex, scara steps on you but tbh if ur looking for scara smut you probably want that, scara is mean to u but u like it, both of them are in your orafaces, keaya is a great wingman

You were sitting at the bar with your friend, Kaeya. He once again dragged you out for an ‘exciting night on the town’ ; so far that has played out to be utter bullshit.  “Come on, Y/n. I’m sure you’ll find something worthwhile. That is if you can actually muster the courage to talk to someone.”

You only rolled your eyes at his antics. “Kaeya, if I wanted to have a good night, I wouldn’t even be here. Not everyone finds someone to hook up with every time they go out,” you retorted.  Suddenly, almost comically, someone tapped your shoulder.

So much for nobody coming to bother you.

You turn around to be greeted with a short, purple haired male dressed in mostly black. “I don’t see any point in beating around the bush, so I’ll spare you the niceties. Me and my friend-“ he gestures over to a blonde man with a streak of red in his hair, “- think you’re hot. Wanna hook up? I’ll even buy you a drink.”

You stare at him in utter shock. Normally Kaeya’s the one getting propositioned, not you. “I- what- HUH?? Me??? Let me think,” you immediately turn to Kaeya “what do i do?????”

Kaeya stares at you unamused. “Say yes,” the man whisper-shouts. 

As you turn back to the purple haired man, you muster up all the courage you can find. “Uhm.. sure!” god, good fucking going, you seriously couldn’t come up with a better response? “By the way, I’m y/n,” you add, trying to diffuse some of the tension.

He nods, “Scaramouche. Come with me.” Cold much? Still, you oblige. You wave Kaeya goodbye and hurry after Scaramouche.  

You are led to a table at the leftmost side of the bar. The man sitting at the table gives you a gentle wave; he seems much friendlier than his purple haired counterpart. “Hello there. I hope Scaramouche wasn’t too brash. He tends to scare people away-“ the red-eyed male chuckles, ”I am Kazuha, and you?”

“I’m Y/n, nice to meet you, Kazuha,” you steel your nerves as you sit on the opposite end of the table.Kazuha gives a reassuring grin as Scaramouche sits besides him. 

“Would you two cut it with the fuckin’ flirting? You aren’t on a date, this is just a hookup.”

Of course Scaramouche had to butt in. You shift your eyes to look at him, clearly irritated. “Scaramouche, this is called being nice,” Kazuha explains sarcastically, “but what you say has some level of truth. Y/n, Just so you know what’s to come, me and Scaramouche would like to.. share you, for lack of a better word. Is that one hundred percent okay with you?”

You feel a strange mixture of fear and excitement puddle in your stomach. Still, you’ve made your decision “Yeah. It’s better than being dragged to some random bar and being miserable.”

And that’s how you ended up at some random apartment, kneeling before two guys you barely know. An air of tension filled the bedroom, everyone unknowing of what the other would do. Thankfully, Scaramouche spoke up soon enough. “Well if you’re just gonna fuckin’ stand there then I’ll take my turn first.”

The violet-eyed male leaned down to your level, roughly taking your face in his hand, almost inspecting you. Suddenly he slammed his lips onto yours, a faint taste of gin complimenting his rough lips. Scaramouche’s hands trailed up your shirt, scrambling for purchase on your waist. Your eyes fluttered, getting accustomed to the feeling of pleasure.

He started to ever so slightly nip at your bottom lip, causing you to whimper slightly, losing yourself in a mix of pain and pleasure. Scaramouche pushes you down so that you’re now half-laying on the ground as he starts to harshly bite and suckle at your collarbone.

“Fuck..” you gasped out, unprepared for the stinging pain of the male’s teeth. 

“Can’t even take that? Fucking pathetic.”

Kazuha sent a disapproving glare to Scaramouche. “Now, now. You should be nicer to her,” the blonde admonished, sauntering over to the pair.

“Oh, shut up. I bet the little whore likes it-“ your core started to heat up at the belittling nickname, “doesn’t she? You can even check for yourself.” There was definitely a truth to his words, as much as it pained you to admit it.

Sure enough, when Kazuha ran a finger experimentally over your clothed folds, he was surprised with just how wet you were. “Oh my. I suppose what he said is quite true, hm?” you nodded as your cheeks and ears turned progressively pinker.

“Can I get back to what I was doing now?” Scaramouche was turning out to be quite the attention hog..

“I think it’s time I get a chance with her,” Kazuha muses, running his hands up and down your sides, sending shivers down your spine. If Scaramouche is annoyed by this, he doesn’t voice it. Kazuha kisses your jawline ever so gently, occasionally pausing to suck on particular spots. It feels feather light compared to the assault you had previously experienced.  

Kazuha slides his hand down your skirt. Then, he tugs your underwear to the side. You wince slightly at the touch of his cool fingers on your heat. “I’ll try to be as gentle as possible, dove,” and with that, Kazuha pushed two slender fingers into your cunt. 

God, he was fucking good with his fingers. The sound of your pants and mewls filled the bedroom, your hand twining itself into Kazuha’s blonde locks. 

“God.. so fuckin’ good… dont stop,” you murmured inbetween gasps, feeling the coil in your stomach tightening evermore. You were close. He started to curl his fingers with every movement, hitting your sweet spot. 

You felt yourself cumming as you reached your climax, pulsing around his fingers. Kazuha chuckled, but wordlessly removed his soaked fingers from your core. “Oh.. you’ve made quite the mess,” he positions his fingers in front of your mouth, “Go on, clean it.”

Although your face reddened at the demand, you nodded and put his fingers in your mouth; you could clearly taste your essence. Once his fingers were clean, you pulled them out of your mouth with a satisfying ‘pop’ noise.

“Alright, you had your fun. My turn,” Kazuha only tsked at the violet eyed male’s antics and stood up. Scaramouche placed his foot on your back and pressed down until you were on your hands and knees. That’s where he wanted you.

Your underwear was already pushed to the side, so Scaramouche didn’t have to do much more than roughly thrusting into you, quickly bottoming out. He didn’t even give you time to adjust to his size, just started thrusting at an inhuman place. “fuck.. slow down!” you demanded.

Even though the initial pain had subsided, you still couldn't handle this much pleasure this suddenly. If Kazuha picked up on this, he did a good job of not showing it. It almost seemed like he encouraged it.

“You know, dove.. I think you could handle both of us at once, right? You can do it, I promise I’ll be gentle,” Kazuha’s words seeped into your ears like honey, and in that moment, you wanted nothing more than to say yes. You nodded your head hurriedly, signaling for him to join.

He undid his belt buckle, releasing his length. The blonde gently cupped your cheek as he guided his tip into your mouth. As he slowly thrusted into your mouth, tears pricked at the corners of your eyes from the stimulation of both Kazuha and Scaramouche. 

You choked on your moans, letting out little more than a pathetic hum around Kazuha’s cock. He let out a low groan. “Stars.. you’re taking me so well.. Keep going,” he praised. 

This set something off in Scaramouche, if the harsh, now erratic thrusts are anything to go by. You felt your second climax of the night swiftly approaching, and there was nothing you could do to stop it. 

You clutched onto the carpet, moans gagged by Kazuha’s length in your throat as your climax came. Even after you rode out your highs, Scaramouche kept thrusting. It was clear he wouldn’t stop until he came.

Triggered by your pulsing heat, Scaramouche gives one last thrust before warm spurts of cum cover your walls. He quickly pulls out, leaving you whining at the sudden emptiness inside you, save for the cum quickly running down your thighs. 

Kazuha finished soon after, filling your mouth with the salty flavor of his seed.  As he pulled out of your mouth, you made sure not to spill any of it. Although the taste wasn’t the most desirable, you made sure to swallow it all.

“You did so, so well, dove,” Kazuha coos, helping you to your feet, “now let's go get you cleaned up, hm?”

yeah sorry if this is bad i wrote this in like 7th grade

[crimsun-n-clover]

i get kin assigned characters constantly

“you remind me of crowley goodomens”

“you’re sooo like eddie strangerthings”

“has anyone ever told you that you remind them of jon magnusarchives?”

“you look like dream sandmancomics haha”

“southpark goth kid”

fuckin etc etc with anyone who’s a gay edgelord loser.

you wanna know who i REALLY relate to??

—zuul / vince clortho ghostbusters - evil demon dog muppet thing that’s really horny for sigourney weaver. breathes like it also has POTS and lives in a fridge sometimes. fucks around and finds out. inconvenienced? turns to stone.

—lego batman - loser but funny and deadpan enough for it to be passable. miserable and likes objectively bad music. fuckin bats. lives in the dark and is nocturnal. will adopt some random sad kid that crosses my path as my own and take them to sketchy places because hey, we’re here for a good fucking time kid.

—luke skywalker - gay hillbilly who befriends insane old people. too much like his father. just wants to drive around in his shitty little car and move out. pretty girl says something and he just goes okay that’s my purpose now. will steal shit if necessary. gets bored and overthrows the empire. will make deals at a bar with some rando criminal and suddenly whoops ride or die bestie

—samwise gamgee - so meow meow. so dyke. so hopelessly devoted. loves plants and some light drinking. holds serious fucking grudges. thinks the weird pretty little brunette is hot, snoops on him a little, suddenly is taking the ring to mordor because he knows too much. yeah sounds about right. not to get into his actual character or anything but DAMN that shit gets too real sometimes.

—daria mtvdaria - bitch with one friend. music nerd and total asshole, but in an autistic way. everyone around her either thinks she’s weird or almost admires her ability to just be so indifferent to social norms. parents push her in the wrong direction in an attempt to better her.

list to be continued.

now let me give some counter arguments.

—crowley goodomens - i may be a sunglasses indoors, all black wearing queer, who presents as any and all genders whenever, is kinda evil but in a campy disney villain way, raises bitchy kids, is very attached to their car, drives too fast, is a queen / velvet underground superfan, fucking WHATEVER. my polar opposite oldest best friend i was in love with hates my fucking guts. so SUCK IT. i WIN. and also i’m temporarily banned (self imposed, no one controls me but ME) from the velvet underground and queen because that shit gets too real when you’re gay and heartbroken. don’t fucking look at me right now man i can’t do this shit

—eddie strangerthings - really?? the cult of vecna??? temple of elemental evil is where it’s AT. he may have kiddos like me but he doesn’t LOVE THEM LIKE ME. i simply cannot see him taking sweet sweet lucas sinclair (who has done nothing wrong ever. in his entire life.) to waffle house. i do also have a rivalry with the basketball captain and therefore the whole team, but they only tried to hunt me down once and i intimidated them by chugging condiments. i play bass like a REAL sexy metalhead. and megadeth is better than metallica i don’t fucking CARE what you think. my battle jacket is way more kickass and i would love the smack the shit out of him for making dungeons and dragons “ohh!! that’s the stranger things game!!! the eddie game!!!!” and also people assume i’m talking about him when i bring up EVH. no. NO.

—jon magnusarchives - yeah okay maybe. skeptical asshole who’s that way to cope. you can’t explain it? i sure can. there’s something wrong with you. i’d at least like to think that i’m less of a dick and more sympathetic than him. also georgie is SO my type i would NOT be able to live with her as a fugitive like it’s nothing. rough exterior, cat loving and book nerd interior. but at least i’d be a hunt avatar. put fear into people the way i’ve felt it. the eye is kinda lame unless you’re an avatar and can just know shit. and when i find an author i like i immediately eat up everything they’ve ever written i don’t fucking care i love seeing common themes. also i would never talk shit about poetry it’s so fun

—dream sandmancomics - this one is mostly based on appearance and i haven’t finished the comics so like idk man but i feel like i’m better than him. just because.

[shi-daisy]

what do you think of Elaine?

Short answer anon, I hate her.

Long answer, oh boy.

So Elain in book 1 wasn't much of character but rather a plot device. We learn she likes plants and gardening, especially flowers. (Cool why the hell didn't she plant edible flowers or something stull baffles me) we learn she's 'kind' still graceful and probably their dad's favorite. Okay, then Feyre is off to Prythian and we don't see her again till later. Though I will point out there's a scene where she recoils from Feyre because she's 'dirty' but we were just told she's a gardener, why you pulling away from dirt if you garden? Unless she was pulling away from her sister, in which case that's cold. Funny that doesn't get scrutiny unlike Nesta.

In any case then we see her again thriving after the family gets their fortune back, good for her I suppose. Until she's complaining that Nesta is gloomy and that might upset their new friends. Girl check on your sister maybe?! Nope, Feyre deals with that instead and Elain is right there with Daddy trying to get Feyre suitors.

Book 2 and 3 I felt sad she was forced to turn and lost her fiance and life, so at least on those books I was neutral to her and she did have great moment with helping to take down Hybern. Otherwise tho, I didn't care much.

Then comes the novella and I am ready to throw hands and win against her. So Elain got mated to Lucien. She's not happy about, she just lost the man she loved, her father, her humanity, had powers she needs to control and seems to be getting on better with a diffrent man.

Okay, that's understandable, I felt bad for her in that situation and yes just cause she's mated to Luce doesn't mean she owes him shit. So, she could just tell him politely to back off, tell him to wait or outright reject the man if she's certain she wants nothing to do with him. He'd be heartbroken but would understand. Well nope, she ignores Lucien as if he is a ghost and doesn't even acknowledge him. Sorry what? Girl, have the spine to talk to him directly! Tell him no, speak to the man even if it's to tell him off! No can do, Feyre is the one dealing with it (poorly I might add but this is about Elain)

There's also the fact that in book 4 she is dismissive of Nesta. This woman bended over backwards while traumatized to help you when you were losing your shit and now that she needs support 'Ewww I don't wanna go to a tavern ickkkk' Some sister she is.

Worst of all, none of this is called out. Unlike Nesta who Rhysand is determined to break into bits 'Elain is Elain' and she's scrutinized for nothing and the narrative wants me to think she's innocent and naive baby. Press X to doubt, she reads like she's cutesy and manipulates people with that.

Come book 5 I wanted to toss her. She doesn't take Nesta's side, gets mad she didn't heal in a week (Even tho Elain is still healing and took like few months to be functional again) and then at the party she goes 'Were you paid to attend this one too?'

I would've scalped her for this! Fuckin bitch how dare you complain Nesta isn't healed fast enough and then say shit like this to her! She is a dog, as long as she's not caged or pushed to search for the troves she keeps her yapper shut and let's them throw Nesta around and make her miserable. People say she's also a victim of Rhysand but no. If she was she'd fight against him, she'd confront him like Feyre did (for a while at least) and Nesta. But she does not push, she knows Rhys likes her so remains meek and calm and let's everyone else take the fall. She might complain if she's pushed towards Lucien but who knows maybe he'll break it off upon seeing her misrable.

I hate this woman. I'm dreading the fact that if her endgame is Elucien she won't be forced to apologize like Nesta and Feyre were no no no, instead Lucien will have to apologize to her (and maybe even renounce Tamlin. Luce if you do that I'm not having mercy on you either!) and he'd probably have to become a High Lord too cuz God forbid Elain over here lives a simple life with the exiles. He'll be forced to change for her and she's gonna still be portrayed as uwu baby cuz she's pink and cutesy. Gross.

If her endgame is Elriel at least Luce has a shot at a better partner and she and bland emo are equally dull so they don't ruin better characters (please Gwyn get away from that shadow moron you're too good from him!) Though knowing SJM she might just make Lucien a villain if Elriel is Canon cuz God forbid the Night Court be called out for trying to force them together and use Lucien.

Wish fulfillment tbh, that Lucien tells her 'One of the reasons I left Spring was to see if you were worth it. I got my answer, you weren't' I'd fucking cheer if this happens I'd frame it on my wall. I would love that. Cuz omg do I really hate her. This is why I didn't save her in my fic.

Elain exudes 'I use my cuteness and innocence to get what I want' and if intentional this would make her a cool character. A feminine woman using her wilds to keep herself out of danger and trouble, yeah I'd like that. But SJM keeps insisting this woman is baby and after all we've seen so far I just don't buy it.

Perhaps she could fix her in her book if she says sorry to Nesta and Lucien (even if it's likely they'll say 'Don't worry bout it') and if she yells at Rhys for pushing her on Lucien and using her as a bargaining chip with Nesta. Do that and she could be fixed real quick but I doubt that'll happen so for now I'm not a fan.

Hope this answers your question anon!

[sharksa-shivers]

Nucleo dialog dump because i 💚you radiation boyo

Coworker: (pinches nose, annoyed)Nathan, aren't you in your 30s? Why are you painting your nails and believing in childish things like aliens? What's wrong with you?

Nucleo:(glances over, sighs before turning around and responding) You're bout 48 right? Why are you already such a stick in the mud? Kids don't call you anymore do they? Ever wonder why that is? Cuz i can take a couple guesses…

Coworker:(he kind of sneers, obviously Nucleo hit a nerve, we see Nucleo kind of smirk, tries to rebuttal back)You're one to talk! You don't even have kids!!!! 30 with nothing!!! No wife, no house, no kids, nothing!!!!

Nucleo:(amused)Cuz i have other priorities…Like finding aliens and collecting metal albums cuz that's what i wanna do…(shrugs)I mean…I'm happy and you seem miserable so i mean, i must be doing something right, yknow? --------- Nucleo:(Frustrated as hell, driving The Trio derps back to The Campsite)What is it with you kids and getting yourselves into insane trouble all the time huh??? Literally i just…(inhales and exhales, collecting himself, annoyed)Look…I literally just like…I just want to have a normal Thursday afternoon at work. Do my job, help people, get paid, all that good shit…I get off at 5, wanna order take out sushi, pick it up, go home and then watch shitty cheesey alien movies from the 80's okay? That's all i want…That's it! But fuckin…Everyday, it's something!!! You get yourselves into something or Orange drags me into something or just SOMETHING!!!! IT'S ALWAYS SOMETHING!!!!!!!

(It's quite til Max speaks, being a smartass)

Max:(immediately wrecks this merman)…Why do you agree to do all of Orange Hair's crap then? Is it cuz you just…Like being her bitch or…?

Nucleo:(he slams on the breaks and just sits there, The Trio derps all just looking nervously at him and each other…Nucleo just looks like he's about to fucking snap, quite as he just anxiety laughs)…I…We're moving on. No more fucking talking. Shut up. ------ Nucleo:(enraged)No???? What the hell???? Orange, they're kids, they're teenagers, they DON'T need to be doing this!!!!

OH:(shrugs)I mean…Max likes it so…

Nucleo:(huffs out a breath, annoyed and irritated)Max likes alot of shit he shouldn't like, he tried to hack into multiple bank accounts the other day…

Max:(just overhearing)YOU GUYS KNOW THAT I CAN HEAR YOU RIGHT? AND THAT I'D 1000% DO THAT AGAIN???

Nucleo:(yelling back)STAY OUT OF THIS, GOD!!! (Back at OH, angry)You can't just be forcing these kids to do all this dangerous stuff, they should be at the movies and fucking around at the mall, not delivering LITERAL BOMBS ACROSS TOWN FOR YOU!!!!!!! ---------- (Tis the group trip with The Trio and Nucleo where he's tagging along to help with some shit. Max and Kristy are talking about horror movies and shit while Sharky's focusing on driving and Nucleo's just scrolling on his phone.)

Kristy:(she pops over the seat a bit, curious)Wait actually, Hey Nucleo, what would happen to you if you got bit by a zombie? Like…Would it actually do anything to you with your disease immunitys or…?

Nucleo:(he sits there, thinking, befuddled)…I…I actually don't know, huh…(sits a moment, thinking)…….Well, i guess that's another paranoia to add to the list. I'd like to say like…I wouldn't get infected but i honestly have 0 clue so????

Max:(gazing at Kristy)Ah yeah, nice, ya broke the man by asking…

Kristy:(awkward)I wasn't trying to!!! I just was curious!!!!

Nucleo:(trying to break it up, a bit mentally construed from the question now)It's fine! It's fine! That actually is a really great question, i just have no idea what the answer is, uhhhh, let's hope we never find out the answer either, huh??? ------------- (Having a convo, probs more early series)

Kristy:(curious)Wait, how old are you Nucleo?

Nucleo:(thinks a moment) 30…No, wait, 31 now. Damnit!!! I'm getting old, can't remember shit anymore…

Sharky:(pipes up)How is 30 old when you literally live like 10,000 years or some crazy shit cuz you're a mer?

Nucleo:(gazes annoyed, a bit exaggerated)Yknow what??? Leave me alone!!!! I don't need that crazy lifespan thrown in my face again!!! I already got enough worries with my life and having to live that long isn't one i wanna talk about right now!! -------- Nucleo is a drummer metal head, a medical scientist of some sort, hardcore believes in aliens, helps The Trio derps, puts up with OH and is one of the main people who will stand up to her, helps his mom regularly with different things and is a merman who has disease immunitys and poison immunitys, idk what else you'd want in an oc honestly... Also his "human" name is Nathanal Raymond Anderson (Cuz humans are gonna look at you sideways if you have a name like...Nucleotitan lol...) I have more shit with him i wanna share so get ready for that lol, i love him so much, i swearrrrrrrrrrrr lolololol

There he is, my son that is literally older then my ass cuz he's in his 30s, here he is lol

[the-mist-striders]

Episode 5: The Tarot

So last we left off we got this dead guy to the church so that his last rites can be done, and he can go and get buried. Before getting there though in the distance we see the priest drag a body into the chapel.

We needed to persuade him to hurry and do the last rites

We don't see the body he dragged in 

#sus

Then we hear "FATHER IM HUNGRY" being bellowed from a mysterious basement

He just wants us to take him on a late night McDonald's run. No biggy

We ask the priest what's up with that

Hes shifty as fuck, says nothing is wrong

So Kai, Fauna and Amahlia go and see what's up with that while Lucerian and Lilliya are focused on last rites 

We find tracks, locate a room with the body stashed in and a trap door to the basement. Very normal stuff. The priest begs us to not go down there. Informs us that his son was visited by Strahd and now required uh. A special diet

Kai prods a bit and confirms that the priest is in fact killing people for his son

Amahlia is like "imma kill him" 

Amahlia No

Lilliya convinces the priest to let us kill his son, putting his son out of his misery

Priest is a broken man. Says "just make it quick and painless"

Kai, Lilliya, and Lucerian go to the basement to kill the lad

We forbid Amahlia from going with us because Amahlia is kind of a murder hobo. So we have Fauna babysit her outside

The vampire boi is scuttling around in the dark. We locate him, and Lilliya offers to let him drink from her wrist so that they can talk

His name is Dorul

Doru is like "but I wanna drain you all the way tho. All of u"

We tried to the very end to make his death quick and painless but Doru has like… 1 brain cell and that brain cell is hungry

He fucking lunges at Kai because he thinks she'll be easier to take out

Surree go for the blind bitch. I see u

Combat is initiated

He did try to bite Kai but failed.

Not sure if you'd even wanna drink cursed blood but idk

Our "quick and painless" attempt to put Doru out of his miserable existence becomes a bunch of loud noises and him screaming

Dorus father listening in as the adventurers loudly struggle to kill him quickly

At the end he is in the bargaining stage of grief

Begs us to not kill him and instead use him

Says he'll eat our enemies

When that doesn't work he says "I'll do anything you wannt"

Lilliya is like "we want you to die"

He eventually dies. Ismark does superstitious rituals like cutting off Dorus head, burning the remains, shoving garlic in Dorus mouth, normal shit

Btw it was pretty funny at the end of Dorus fight because we had him in a corner and we were just beating the shit out of him

A weird side note: the dm showed a picture of him from the book and like. Every woman with an inkling of maternal instinct was like "aweee" meanwhile I'm thinking he looks like a younger Tommy Wisau

Anyway after we successfully killed him quick and painlessly we find the father being a fuckin mess

Hes eyeballing a rope hanging from the ceiling

Lilliya does talk-no-jutsu to keep him from killing himself and to instead try to bring hope back to the village. Ismark is like "oh shit that's a fire idea. Sorry sister, I know I said I'd escort you to that safer village but I now have a new purpose. Hey adventurers we just met, can you escort her?"

In the background Kai is getting the rope off the ceiling and stashing it in her bag

The last rites for Ismark's dad are done and we have lowered the body into the grave. It's midnight and we get to see what this "midnight parade" the locals are talking about is

It's a long line of the ghosts of adventurers before us who tried to take on Strahd just walking off a cliff single file

And while this is intimidating the idea is kind of funny to me because the line just keeps fucking going and never stops. Like I get it- holy shit how could we succeed when so many failed- but at the same time this is a very comical amount of dead people

So as Fauna watched a comically long line of dead adventurers go off the cliff edge of Strahd's castle (which is perched on a mountain) she has a mental breakdown

Fauna in the midst of the meltdown asks “Does a place like this even need heroes?"

Kai says "well I'll die anyway. May as well die faster"

Amahlia: "I can help"

Liliya: “It’s places like this that need heroes the most”

3 kinds of people

We stay the night at the church as the priest is under suicide watch.

Kai is the guardian of the rope.

The priest before bed has pie with Fauna. Causing them to have blissful dreams (the pies have that effect)

The next morning we set out to meet madam Ava, who according to the group of Vistani wanted to see us. We're taken to a clearing next to a lake full of tents. 

Btw at this Vistani camp there's a Ton of roguish looking dudes who are total snaccs

RiP Kai is dead

Pour one of for Kai 😔🍾

and Rip to the mammoth tusk she carries with her 

We go straight for madam ava 

And are like

Because it's the fucking lady that brought us here and gave us the tarot cards

She tells us in very riddle-y vague terms how to stop Strahd and where everyone should start on their personal goals. Each character got a tarot card.

“ 3 treasures to help kill Strahd”

“The avenger- (Luciren) this treasure lies in a dragon's house. Hands was once clean, now its corrupted Knowledge of the ancient will better still help you understand the enemy.”

“Healer (Amalia) Tells of a powerful force of good and for protection, a holy symbol of great hope, Look to the west. Find a pool blessed by the white of the white sun.”

“Charlatan. (Fauna) This is a card of power and strength. Tells of a weapon of vengeance. A sword of sunlight. I see where you can find it. A lonely mill on a precipice”

“Seer (Kai) This card sheds light on one who will help you greatly in the battle against darkness. Look for a dusk elf. He has suffered a great loss and is haunted by dark dreams. Help him and he will help you”

“Marionette (Liliya) Your enemy is a creature of darkness whose powers are more than immortality Look to great heights. Find the beating heart, the castle, he waits nearby.”

With the direct yet vague instruction of what they should do next, the party must figure out their next move

Please remember to keep Kai in your thoughts and prayers as she survives these trying times of being trapped in a camp of hot guys

😔🙏

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