#it’s peach’s fault!

[gods-of-kanto]

(Uh oh! Your tank has fainted! Would you like to flee the battle?)

[alliumsdoll]

You said smt and they treat you with the silent treatment😔

[nicollekidman]

as an enormous fan. one of the worst things about taylor swift is how deeply cowardly she is when it comes to Avoiding Upset and how this + the vacuum of her life makes every interview/public appearance just. devoid of any real meaning. just absolute crafted nothingness.

[itsbenedict]

How would you make mario a villain?

Huh! Tricky one. I mean, there's tons of Newgrounds parodies about how fucked up it is that Mario goes around crushing turts all day, and there's the obvious "silent scary henchman of the image-conscious dictator" angle. Tricky to cast him as the villain rather than the muscle, though...

There's only one thing that notably motivates Mario, and that's Princess Peach. Extreme devotion, there. For him to have agency, she needs to be removed from the picture- and I think that neatly answers the motive thing, too. Peach hasn't been kidnapped, this time- there's something more permanent. But what? "She's been killed and he's out for revenge" is a little 3edgy5me, and also if Mario sets out to get revenge I think he just gets it. His antagonists have rarely put up the kind of fight that would require him to concoct a villainous scheme.

Who's the protagonist, if not Mario? What is Mario doing that requires someone else to go on an adventure opposing him? How do we make this something that Nintendo would actually consider releasing?

...Okay, what's Mario's usual M.O.? How do we make that villainous? He... goes to dangerous places, nimbly circumvents all obstacles in his way, and claims powerful, usually star-shaped magical objects, in order to rescue the princess. This time... he isn't really concerning himself with who the rightful owners of said magical objects are.

It's a Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego situation. There's been a rash of heists committed by a strange masked phantom thief, and the protagonist's job is to find out how the relics were stolen and where the culprit hid them, and get them back before their clients suffer dire consequences as a result of missing-magic-item-itis. You investigate crime scenes, pick up the phantom thief's trail, chase him down, and bop him one but good to recover the relic and save the day.

This is complicated somewhat because this phantom thief is in league with Bowser, who keeps causing trouble in ways that the phantom thief takes advantage of to get past security. The Koopa Troop often assists the phantom thief in his getaways. Why are they working together???

Flash back. Mario standard plot- Bowser has kidnapped the princess. This time, he's done it using some magic item or invention doohickey whose provenance he doesn't quite understand, which has turned Princess Peach to stone. True to form, Mario goes through several another castles and thrashes Bowser and breaks his evil doohickey, and... uh. This fails to rescue the princess. She is still a statue.

Bowser doesn't know why she's still a statue, and both of them panic. How do they fix this?! They need to try something- find some new magic thing that'll bring her back! They've heard of the Sacred Star of Healing in one of the neighboring Kingdoms (which exist in infinite supply in the Mario universe to be adventured through precisely once and then forgotten about forever), and agree to work together to steal it and use it to restore Peach.

It doesn't work. They ditch it somewhere. They follow up on another rumor- the Golden Coin Spirit in the Treasure Kingdom or whatever, and that's a bust too. And after a couple of these, the international community is forced to call in an expert to catch this thief and bring him to justice.

So who's our protagonist? Who in the Mario universe is a famous detective who specializes in guarding star-shaped magical relics from would-be burglars? WHAT IMPROBABLY LARGE-BRAINED PENGUIN COULD POSSIBLY THWART THIS MASTER CRIMINAL?!?

[deklo]

people are starting to demonize stewart on twitter :/ as if he wasn’t always :/ part of the mafia :////

[palin-tropos]

Harry having the apricots-Dora-peaches of immortality-Dolores Dei visceral trauma response to the cover of the inframaterialism book (even though we have also pointed out it’s abstract kimharry with the green and orange and he doesn’t react to Kim’s orangeness or apricot empire in Suzerainty)

is one of the few scraps of evidence for my fanon birth name for the apocalyptic shrike: Nils Ingerlund

[0xeyedaisy]

GIRL PISS OFF

[batfambrainrotbeloved]

Im so glad I finished the quiz when I did because my dumbass went and got sick, again, so now I gotta wait until my muscles don't feel like their melting so I can write shit again

[pianokantzart]

Love this interpretation of Mr. M. I gotta ask: How do you think an aftermath with Mr. M would look like?

After the whole fiasco, Mario's memories of his time as "Mr. M" are slow to resurface. In the meantime, Princess Peach is thinking over what she'd seen... how the man she had always known to be bright-eyed, energetic, and eternally positive, had for a short time been robbed of his memories and reduced to something so desperate and pitiable. Luigi is in a similar boat, but he is less startled than Peach is. He had caught tiny glimpses of that side of Mario in quiet moments after particularly stressful days, but he'd never before seen it in such extremes. Not even when they were children.

Mario is confused at first as to why Luigi and Princess Peach check on him so often, why they keep reassuring him that everyone's safe, why they offer to take turns with missions "if he ever needs a break." Mario thinks that it has to do with whatever happened while he was under Count Bleck's control... it must've been worse than he thought. He must've gotten hut at some point. He must've really had them worried.

Then, slowly, the memories come back to him...

... Begging Luigi to switch sides, raining down blows through tears and whimpered apologies, blubbering to Peach about scared he is... how the rest of Team Bleck is counting on him... how he didn't want to "ruin everything." He remembers trembling in the presence of Bowser, desperately pleading with him not to hurt anyone. Every emotion that he felt but sternly denied himself had been forced to the surface, stirred up, and let loose, and everyone he most wanted to keep under the impression that he was perfectly okay– be it for the preservation of their happiness or for the safety of the kingdom– had gotten a front row seat...

[diamondempp]

luigi snuck out with bowser later anyways LOVE RECTANGLLEEE🔥🔥 or if that’s what it’s called idk

Drawn on Procreate

Edited on Capcut

Song: All I Wanted by Paramore

[possession1981-moving]

just jacob gifs (9/?)

[goldensunset]

WOMAN. DO NOT SET THE DUE DATE ONLINE AS BEING 11:59PM. IF YOU ACTUALLY WANTED A HARD COPY DUE IN CLASS TODAY

[rivertigo]

patti smith

[sweetie-peaches]

I’ve got four whole hours of sleep last night which squints is almost a decent amount!!!

[peachsayshi]

should I share the smutty nanami thought in my head

[peachyykira]

One way that I have figured out to combat the anxious feelings I get about my relationship is to be adjacently productive. Today that means wrapping his presents.