#it’s only like. a third done too
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My stardew fic just hit 50k 😬
#outrageous#why is it so beefy#it’s only like. a third done too#at most#the brain worms are WORMIN#shiver rambles
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If you were to like redesign Magneto's classic outfit in a way that both suits the character and your own tastes, how would you redesign it?
uhhhh errrmmmmm i dont know i really couldnt improve upon perfection but i have still tried for you my friend !!!
#xmen#xmen comics#magneto#erik lehnsherr#max eisenhardt#erik magnus lensherr#like ig fc erik there too but only if you squint Generally Speaking this aint about him#snap sketches#i thought this was gonna be a quick thing but then As I Do i sat and thought about it for too long#and for what. my end result isn't that different from the beginning !! tragic .#out of these i think. it MAY be obvious i like the far right one#once i remembered I Do In Fact love megaman i locked in cause everytime i draw Classic Magneto all i think of is megaman#cant even make a magnetman joke that mfer already exists and he from my FAVORITE classic megaman title tyvm#anyway. should i explain my reasoning now. man i guess i can try#i couldnt tho is the thing- at least for the first set i really was just ickin around and seeing what i Might like#evidently it was nothing LMAO i told yall i cant improve perfection ... so i just. Smash Bros'd his classic look#With some tearing on the cape cause i said so ............#at most- with the furthermost right bit- i just wanted to emphasize a feeling of 'power' hence the chunkier boots + gloves#with the first look i tried that angle with showing some arm skin buuuuttt i dont like it ...#i think the sleeveless look really only works if the outfit's black idk i cant explain it#overall the first design i tried just feels too sleek for my liking if i wanted to go for a 'power' approach#i like the 'M' i did with the legs at least. i really wanted to incorporate an M in case it wasnt clear but alas ...#tbh i might steal the boots/gloves/underwear design from myself when i draw classic magneto regularly. SHRUG we'll see#as for now i am very sleepy and i have class in the morning and i want to do some work Before Class#very cool but very sad i dont have my third class today :( its my fave class :( at least i get more time to work#and the more work i get done the more time i get to draw the sillies !!! epic ...#anyways. good night everyone !!!!!!! talk to yall tomorrow ..... probably ... or later ig technically... i should sleep earlier <- wont
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Can't stop giggling on the headcanon of Bartolomeo and Cavendish arguing about Law being a potential partner for Luffy. Bartolomeo is against the idea solely on the premise that he can't stand Trafalgar's guts but Cavendish reiterates that Law is hopelessly whipped with the way he's willing to die with Luffy if the inevitable happened way back in Dressrosa. The entire Straw Hat Grand Fleet is so done with them. LMAO.
#one piece#one piece headcanon#actually the third person to participate in the argument is baby 5#she's sai wife and also a member of said fleet by association#and she's the only one who knows law#so bartocav definitely needed her input#except baby 5 didn't even expect law to like someone#and she's also shocked on the possibility#but she'd agree with cavendish#just because his reasoning is the most convincing one#but sometimes she'd take barto's side because she's lowkey done with law too lmao#strawhat grand fleet mentioned#bartolomeo#bartolomeo one piece#cavendish#cavendish one piece#bartocav#lawlu#let bartocav meet the rest of the strawhats already
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Alright, the kewk classic 'face hole' design it is~ 📊✅
"Ain't he a doll?" 💋💦💕
And now while I fuck with this anatomy sketch 5ever, we gotta decide on a background! I'm thinking Sal would prefer to do his love-sick swooning in the privacy of his bedroom, but where, exactly? 🤔
'The bed'-
Perks: seems more routine, sowft snuggly nest to daydream and swoon in, [darling] collage on the wall, '... okay, what have you been doing with that pillow...?'
Drawbacks: Limited space, have to take stability/sinking into account with props, perspective is Hard and I will make that headboard look good or die trying
'The floor'-
Perks: seems more impulsive, more yan/NEET clutter potential (more room to spread out), a glimpse under his bed (and at all the [darling] stuff he's got shoved under there)
Drawbacks: That carpet is UGLY, I will probably (definitely) bite off more than I can chew trying to fill all that space with props, it hurts my Everything just thinking about lying on the floor like that for too long
'Secret third thing'-
....???? idk you tell me lol
#sally face#sal fisher#love sick sally#tw yandere#tw unsanitary#sorry steve#lime#(just implied a little ((for flavor))#im laughing at the potential of the 'secret third thing'#planking on his dresser? Chillin like a vamp on the ceiling?? Sliding up the wall like a slug???#Periodic reminder: Your only artistic limitation is your own imagination...~🌈♾#i gotta come up with a tag for this redraw so all the posts can be dug up later#i was gonna just make a chain of reblogs with the original post but decided it would get waaaaay too long by the time im done#im so flattered that yall chose the face hole design fr qwq 💖💖💖#I'd have been happy either way but it was a close race for a while and im just pleasantly surprised 🥺💗#side note: ive recently been going down an OG l/oony tunes rabbit hole (bu-dum-tss) so if my doodles start lookin more cartoony thats why#k.e.w.k. x sally#(I'll probably be doing little selfship doodles on this at almost every stage of this redraw bc it sparks joy and i deserve it uwu 💙)
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Me showing up in your inbox every other day to ask about the vampire and werewolf au lol
Are there people who know about vampires and werewolves and shifters? Like is it a known and normal thing or are they trying to keep it secret? If it is/was known would it be dangerous for them? Like people hunting them?
Also you said they know Killer’s been hurt before, what happened to him? :o
Also also do you have any ideas about what Killer and Cross are studying at college?
AND— how are you?? I hope you’re having a nice day \(^-^)/
Thank u!!! Very nice getting these hehe
1) This is like THE world building element I wasn't really sure about. I've thought about it and I think like, people know about vampires and werewolves and there are still some modern day hunters but they're a minority? (In a drawing I made you can see Killer has a AHAB (all hunters are bastards) sticker lol). I really don't know yet. I think society accepting them is like out of the question lol, you lose a lot of adversity and interest doing that I think. It's also just sort of weird to me? Idk that's just not a story I'd like to read.
Maybe it's more of a 'we saw a werewolf attack in this little village outback' and people are worried and stuff but it's always out in the middle of nowhere and it's not happening to them so they don't really give it that much thought. It's the news you see horrors all the time right? Mostly they just... Don't think anyone in their college classes would even be a vampire/werewolf. Maybe there aren't that many creatures out in the city at all. Like a hiding in plain sight thing. i think that's something I like more already. It's probably not going to be a huge part of the story at all. Maybe a few mentions that can leave the characters feeling like outsiders or a little anxious but not a major plot point y'know?
2) I Imagine someone who's like twenty something and already a vampire hasn't had the best circumstances lol. He definitely was not turned with his consent, I haven't really thought of specifics yet but when Nightmare found him he was not laughing and being cute. He was closed off and depressed. Didn't talk much at all. (He's better now y'all
3) wahhh I haven't thought about that! That's a good question. I don't... Actually know how American colleges work but I think Killer would probably be in like history or english? Cross maybe in computer science? Maybe audio-visual stuff. Is that cinematography? Idk what it's called. Maybe they can be like. History of arts+cinematography so they have classes together maybe. Again this is without knowledge of how any of it works. I'll get back to you on that.
I'm good! Pretty tired. College maybe isn't.......... As cool.... As I first thought....... But it's chill! some of my classes are still super interesting and I love learning. And anyway I have plans and ideas and stuff on the side that make me happy! And my Kitty is drooling on me so really what more can I ask for?
And how are youuuu?
#and I'm privileged to be going to college and I know it's only rich assholes that complain on the third week after starting college but#I guess I just thought it'd be way different from highschool#and it's not#and I'm just thinking like#I'm going for three years of this and all I want to do is draw at every hour of my life#I'm oversharing#I'm gonna try and keep working#and start commissions this year#see where it takes me#try and figure out how to stop living for others and how to live my life for me#(easier said than done)#answered asks#Charlie Somegrumpynerd#college au#Vampire Killer Sans#Werewolf Cross sans#I don't wanna draw stuff from too far into the story yet but it's hardddd#I think I'm gonna start writing pretty soon#I've already started planning out the skeleton of things basically lol#college au info
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if escape rooms as team building exercises became popular im not sure if id be more excited or terrified
#if it isnt already anyway.. i can see it happening as a school frosh thing. idk if it would catch on as a workplace thing#i kind of find the concept of being locked in with strangers and working to find a way out weirdly exhilarating though#at least compared to icebreakers cause i dont have to spend 10 minutes racking my brain for something to blurt out abt myself#as a bonus u could like. put people into groups and give prizes to whoever escapes first second third etc. apparently they also do themed#escape rooms.. maybe let people pick a theme? or voluntary sign up? actually this would be really fun for smth like a blind friend date#although if i found out i was locked in a room with an online friend id be too excited to actually escape LOL#ive never done an escape room before so sadly i cant speak from experience. its like up there on things i want to try next to rug tufting#workshop and visiting new art exhibits or conventions. i seriously need to get out more if it wasnt for the horrors <- school and anxiety#i was planning to invite cass to a drop-in art workshop in town but neither of us could go bc typography is making us go thru hell and back#AND THEY HAD A BUTTON MACHINE TOO#im nostalgic bc i miss working in groups and not being awkward abt it or worrying abt schedule conflicts#i realized that i learn best in groups and its a little corny but i like sharing ideas and talking through a problem#in elementary i could just sit down with friends for review and come out of it energized *and* more familiar with the material#and i could technically still do it now. but as adults we're more picky abt who we work with on top of being way more busy outside school#maybe im lonely. im shy and grew up not talking to ppl unless i absolutely have to so its hard to make friends on my own i guess#only thing getting me thru it is telling myself that humans like helping and that my cringe is overblown in my head. but its hard#hence the escape rooms. i have been able to talk to 2(!!) people though!! mostly abt school stuff but im glad to be on friendly terms#i dont really know how to be happy these days cause im constantly scaring myself abt my portfolio and finding places to work#not being ambitious is part of not wanting to put energy into something that wont work out while also not having the passion to do literall#anything else.. i should probably talk to my counsellor ugh#yapping
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EEEHHHHHH why is venture just poking out like that. They look lost, actually the whole fucking 3d character model poster look is like actual GARBAGE. Why the fuck would anyone do this. Or even suggest this. Omg OMG omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg I DON'T EVEN BELIEVE IN GOD BUT IM PRAYING IM PRAYING THIS MADNESS ENDS
the 2d overwatch style has STYLE not...whatever this is, overwatch 1 poster had so much...sparkle and glitter to it this one is "uhhh...fill in the space." not good man
I DONT HAVE THE VOCABULARY TO DESCRIBE THE FUCKING DISAPPOINTMENT? DISGUST? ABHOR? I need to calm down I can't let the blizzard get the best of me
HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE (get the reference? Eheehehhehhe)
Justice for venture cause they don't deserve any of that. GIVE THEM A DAMN SKIN
When making venture they were like "yeah let's make them burrow underground as a new tool kit or whatever games terms it is!" And many nodded their heads one voice spoke up upon the rest "yeah, and maybe we can try to expand the diversity in the cast of characters by making them gender non conforming and actually have that as a solid part of themselves and as a character instead of a tagline you can use to promote them and pretend you care!" And then the clapping and nodding of hands stopped.. suddenly nervous laughter leaves the mouth of said person and the main man himself gets up..."yes, they/them...false reality of actually caring about the story and characters of this dead game..." And another idea was shouted "And you can give them such interesting and character accurate cosmetics and content!" Silence...but this time it was forever. "Cosmetics won't be needed...they're already perfect...they/them..."
It wasn't, but it's what I speculate
don't grammar police me, because I will not be listening fingers in my ears lalalalal
#Overwatch#i hate overwatch#venture overwatch#venture desvers better in overeatch 2#like my damn so sorry sloan you got done dirty#like ngl..it really does feel like they made half of ventures characters soley based as the first non-binary character but then fucking#leaves them in the dust for nothing but more dirt#inwhich venture probably wouldn't mind but uhhh they dont know about the mistreatment of themselves like we do#from their brith company#man blizzard u already have freaks working their abusing others but#IM SO ANGRY#I woke up not angry#but once i got that damn overwatch x MHA notification i was THUNDERSTRUCK#REINHARDTS THIRD COLLAB IN A ROW AND OFC KIRIKO IS THERE TOO#that's why im so aggressive when killing those two in game...#dont cry cause i literally play moria and mercy and sombra and every fucking kost hated character#can a guy not hate anymore? cause im pretty healthy i hate AND love 😚#i also never give a second thought when i see mercys all alone i will STRIKE U DOWN#i only spare anas#and zens#and Baptiste#maybe illari#sloan cameron#overwatch i will heal you baby dont worry
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its important to go see a low stakes concert sometimes
#as in seeing someone in concert youre not an absolute nutbag about (as i have done this year and last year)#but last night me n my dad went and saw renaissance on their farewell tour#running on like 4 hours of sleep and seething to be at work right now#or rather i would be seething if i weren't so tired#new anger management hack: just get less sleep so your senses are dulled! anyway#funniest part of the night was the multiples times when my dad who is old was like 'everyone here is so old :/'#he was literally like 'if i ever get like these people just shoot me' LMAO#the concert was good i wouldn't call it like great or fantastic but such is the beauty of a low stakes concert#youre not living and dying on every song youre not singing along to everything youre just. enjoyin the show normally which is crazy#again as someone who has seen two bands (both bands two separate times and is seeing one of those bands a THIRD TIME soon) im crazy over#that experience is fun its bonkers and you definitely gotta do it for the bands youre crazy over. you gotta#but it was nice to just. have a regular time at a show#as far as the show itself there were a few little moments where things didnt go as smooth but that may have been bc it was the first show#and save for a few moments in some songs annie haslam knocked it out of the park she can still sing as insanely good as she used to#again some parts of songs were in a lower key? but most seemed to be the same and she was still hitting those bonkers high notes#so good for her. the band was pretty good but i felt they really only like all worked together well on a few songs#if that makes sense. but overall pretty good#and my anxieties about getting there and back were unfounded bc somehow it all worked. yay#our car service trip home was in a tesla i felt like i was gonna die the entire ride home lol#i am NEVER getting in one of those stupid cars again. big ass ipad as your dashboard this is insane???? im so scared???#anywho. old musicians are forever as ive been saying lately. and they really are#oh also we were at the town hall which is a nice small theater i was worried abt bein too far away but it's laid out really well#in that you're sure to get a pretty good view of the stage#it seems like half the size roughly of the beacon for whatever thats worth#OH i did see one dude somewhere in the audience with a sparks shirt so. hashtag represent#yet another concert report. yayyyyy#(im so tired)
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is no-one around here having ANY fun
#to be clear. two of these have zero works bc they exist only in my drafts. the third has one (1) published work in it. and it's still mine#and yes i've looked for variations. i know other people aren't going to phrase things exactly how i did lol#(i've also done character tag + general tag bc i know that's more likely to work. and i got like. 3 relevant results.)#(the POINT is. we have a lip sewing tag. we could have these too. in a better world 😔)#anyway this is really about a more general complaint of ppl not letting thor be complex#classic victim of both 'golden retriever' and 'large angry man' character assassination </3#MAYBE we give him enough internality to suffer but if he does it's probably still righteous and good#no!! you don't get it!!!! that's my evil little meow meow!!!!! give him excruciating moral torment that only ever makes him worse!!!!!!#not to be like i'm the only one ever to understand the most popular movies ever made but ummmm. no-one knows him like i do.........#space viking tag#constructive complaining
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I think the biggest reason I struggled to connect with the Inquisitor as a character is because of the 'chosen one' trope
#and also bc the inquisitor imo becomes too important too quickly#i like stories where you have to drag through mud for people to respect you#like even in DA2 it's only in the third act where you get some cred to your name#in DAO you're busting your ass saving people and there's still some who'll criticize you#and i didn't feel that with the inquisitor?#like very quickly lots of people are asking help from the inquisition and you're put in this place of savior#and it's weird bc at the same time i'm being told this#by the NPCs and the narrative#i don't *feel* that?#like i know that the inquisitor is important and all but i don't get that feeling#idk how to explain#like its feels like i'm being told how important the inquisition has been for keeping the peace#and how we're helping so many people#but i don't feel that#which is strange right bc i felt that in dao#i got the dwarves elves and mages on my side and like whenever i was done with the main quests and order was restored to that place#and an NPC would be like thank you we'll help you fight the archdemon#i felt like i was doing something important#when the other characters from DA2 and DAI talk about how important the warden was for them it makes sense to me#i think the main thing is that the warden and hawke made me feel things but the inquisitor didn't#i'm playing as Adaar now and it's been more fun than with lavellan#but that feeling of i know the inquisitor is important but it doesn't feel that way is still there#and also i just really don't like chosen one narratives#bc like...ok let's look at the warden#yes the GW are the only ones who can end the blight but the warden is not the only warden there#there's still alistair or loghain#and also you have to really work your ass to get shit done in DAO with limited resources and a bounty on your head#and people will even say that the wardens aren't that necessary#and then you have hawke#who was literally a nobody
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I wonder how many tags i can add on to this
#there must be SOME kind of a limit otherwise posts would get suuuuuuper duper long like is it just 30?#idk but i'm going to find out by simply maxxing out the character limit for each tag and finding out the limit of tags for each post lololo#this is gonna be great. i just have to remember to type without ever using the comma. it shouldn't be too hard right? fuck i almost typed#the comma i'm already bad at this smh my head. also if your still here i commend you. you have a better attention span than i do.#i'm already starting to get bored holy shit this is not happening. i gotta power through this. FOR SCIENCEEEEEEEEEE. or somethinggggggggggg#but fr idk what else to say. maybe just saying that i don't know what to say will be good enough? but does that even count?#I don't even know anymore. ffffffffuck. this is gonna be a while huh? also holy shit if you're still here omg u deserve like. a prize or#something because u definitely didn't have to stay and read all of this bull shit. lololol i typed out bs but decided to just spell the who#thing out just to make it go by faster. i'm so lazy. this is only the nineth tag HOW will i make it to 30. i am sobbing the adhd is adhding#very hard rn. are you still here? bruh this is insane. i have somehow managed to keep ur attention this long and it's just me spouting#absolute balderdash. wait do you know what balderdash even means? i don't care if you do already i'm gonna tell you anyway. balderdash is#basically just another word for nonsense. boom. you learned something new today. balderdash equals nonsense equals this damn post.#why did i decide to do this in the first place. it was a dumb idea. i don't know if i can even keep going. this is only the *counts tags*#it's the 14th tag. we've got a long way to go boys. men. soldiers. comrads. friends. besties peeps. marshmallows.#where was i going with this? oh yeah. trying to max out the limit for tags. dang i almost typed a comma there. i haven't done that since#i think the third or fourth tag. dang that feels like such a long time ago. not for you guys probably. it feels longer because i have to li#type it all out and stuff. so it's definitely gonna feel longer for me. are you still here? good lord don't you have better things to#be doing than reading all of this? we're already on tag number 18. it feels like i should be on the thirtyeth by now. or however it's spell#'toast' you might be wondering 'why are you typing out the names of the numbers instead of say '9' or '5'?' well you see. young one.#this is a strategy i'm using to make each tag slightly longer. even if i don't know how to spell it. it'll make it just a little bit longer#anyway. i got off topic. not that there was ever a topic to begin with. unless it's about making this as long as i can.#which i am apparently good at doing. i guess. are you STILL here? do you seriously have nothing to do? i guess i'm flattered you stayed thi#whole time. instead of reading something else you stayed here. with me. listening to me talk. on the twenty-third tag. oh yeah its tag 23#except now it's tag twenty-four. how crazy is that. this little talk is almost over. only 6 tags away if memory serves right. this's strang#i kind of don't want this to end. but i know it should. after all there is a limit. but all things must come to and end at some point i gue#i'm running out of things to say. it's probably a good thing it's almost over. hahahahah............... but i don't want to go. i don't wan#to leave this post. i've worked so hard on it. and for what. just for it to end. are you still here? yes? good. i'd hate to end this alone.#thank you for indulging me and my craziness. the end is only 2 tags away now. you can go ahead and leave. i'll be okay on my own. really...#...you're still here? i- i don't know what to say. i suppose a toast is in order. perhaps. for this journey. this stupid dumb post i though#would be fun. i'll make it short. it's the last tag after all. this was fun. but i will never do it again. so long as a i live. i'll miss y
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one unsatisfying orgasm and cold shower later (cause someone in the apartments above me messed up something and im paying the price), let's continue with working on two papers, cause my Sunday is already ruined
#personal chaos#im just a drama queen dont mind me#like the papers are already done and only one is a research paper the other is a fancy review long af#but i need to start plotting the third one for a grant too
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[walking around, peering into people's faces like i'm in an art exhibit] hm. nice
#just me hi#it's a give and take system and baby WHY am i standing in for the free samples cart#[dies dies]#<- irrelevant to the main body but oh man. oh mannngngnghfjs#//nice thing anyway; we're going to the beach :D#it's been like a year or so since we've been so yippee :DD#i like going to the center of the lake and waiting for the boats to make big waves lol#sure it makes it harder to get back to shore but in the meantime i get to go wheeee hfbhs#that and if you swim out far enough nobody will bother to swim to you. untouchable gfbsh#just water and water and water and oh hello dragonfly and water and that kid just fell headfirst into the shallow water and water and#:>>#//in other news too: i am like.. one 5th done with the third ref lol👍👍#it IS a bog. but at least it's a nicer bog ykno hfsh ?#//how funny would it be if they found atlantis at the bottom of like. a random lake#you know how underwater caverns are! but it would be neat hbfhv :3#i don't mean any of the great lakes either; it's completely sensical that you'd lose a city in there. why would you leave it on the coast#dummy?? the water Will eat everything#unlike the earth; which only gets aggressive cravings now and then. and that's only cuz she's doing all this moving. she's earned it hfbsh#/also question. if our planet ate another planet would anybody here have a problem with that [wide gesturing towards you]#because you would have to assume it's natural. How and Why Else would a planet be eating another planet ?? plus. what if the chances are#high that it fixes all our problems lol. 'why are you asking this' see that's a good question. and every now and then there are questions w#leave to people of a more scientific or philosophical turn of mind. not me. i'm the 'do you support mother earth eating other planets whole#questions guy :) an important role in some states of being lol#//anywho i gotta get on my things. you know. the things? and the stuffs. lotta those going on. lots of things. and stuffs :)#and i don't wanna count my tags again lol - i think i'm in the mid-twenties but let's not be too sure about that hfhvhsh#so ciao toodles. i will most likely be back with some family-answers to the planet-eating question#byyyye :3
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it's almost interesting how some people just like being cruel for the sake of being and how it almost always is just targeting LOL
#carpet meows#just remembering some stuff i'm mostly over of#but like. i sometimes still wonder what i might've done to deserve the exact same shit happening thrice#all from different people too#xD#the third time didn't hurt anywhere as much as the first ones did but still#it's also interesting because they were all so convincing & likely premeditated/thoroughly thought out#yet also so so very stupid#even if they lasted somewhat long they were also so easy to find out if only i had looked harder into it and paid more mind#so many perfect conveniences and coincidences to the point it all made one huge plot hole#i guess that's the best way i can put it into words right now#hm#What rhe fuck am i talking about truly
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the good news is, after 2 fucking years, i finally have ~8k of the deaged!SJ qiliujiu fic written and we're rapidly approaching climax
bad news, i think i gotta rewrite the entire last 2k or so from another perspective
#so that's fun#but anyways i'm gonna be so fucking proud of myself when this is finally done#I HATE LEAVING WIPS AAAAAHHHHH#the secret second bad news is i have no idea where it's going but that's mostly okay#i almost always have no idea where things are going until they get there#the third secret news is that . .. i forgot to make it like .. . super gay?#IN MY MIND IT'S A SHIP IT'S FULL GAY SHIT HAPPY PRIDE#BUT I GUESS NO ONE'S FUCKING AND SUCKING????#well whatever too late to shove it in at this point#my only idea is to sic a tentacle monster on LQG but I'll have to play it by ear
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im so fucking mad at myself at my mother at her dead husband at god fucking knows what. "concentrate on yourself" well i cant can i. now more than anything i should and i cant. losing my fucking mind istg
#i wasted the whole fucking weekend because i *had to* come visit her and once i visited i *had to* hang out with my fucking grandfather#watching him cry about grandma and bitch about modern times and the waiter not doing his job because the café was full to bursting#and it took longer than usual to get our coffees so ofc he had to loudly insult him in third person. oh and then he had to bitch about#gay people and women who dont want children too because of he did. and i sat there and listened to it because i HAD TO#wasted four fucking hours. and then i HAD TO go to the theatre with my mom because she got us tickets because she wanted this#to be a nice day for me but i dont have fucking time to have nice days rn but in order for HER to have a nice day i need to at least pretend#i am having one. so i wasted another almost two hours on that play#which was some modern uselessly loud to the point of being physically painful bullshit bad enough that we left mid-show#and then i had to go meet with her friends so lost another two hours and by the time i got home to write that bullshit thesis it was 11pm#and i barely got anything done till 1 am because i went through another stupid little mental breakdown and then it was almost 6 am#and i had to stop because i had a train at 8 and i already only slept like 3 hours that day#and then i got home yesterday totally fucking exhausted and i started reading stuff for the thesis but i was falling asleep so i laid down#'for 10 minutes' and i woke up today at 6. not having written a word lol#and now i could just say fuck it and defend it in september and it would make my life so much easier. but my voice teacher wants me#to get accepted for the masters degree even if im already planning to get the deans leave for the first semester so like. god.#i cant do this lol#i know i should have started earlier but i was kinda busy losing my fucking mind and lying in bed staring at the ceiling for hours#and contemplating dropping out completely lol god i hate my life so much it's unreal
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