#it’s okay this is what i love about being an adult LMAO making friends of all ages it’s very goofy

[lanabenikosdoormat]

how it feels turning 22 tomorrow when half of your friend group still ain’t even allowed in a bar

[leviafin]

Exotrauma

Having exotrauma from a "cringe" or "silly" source sucks. It feels like you're taken infinitely less seriously than those who have trauma from grittier, adult-geared and/or "acceptable" sources. Which in and of itself just isolates you and makes it worse.

I'm not just a silly little thing from your silly little Roblox game that could never show signs of trauma because it's 'just a kids game'--and I'm not your blorbo either. It feels like there's 2 common options for how people treat fictionkind with exotrauma:

Oh my poor little scrunkly, my little cardboard box meow meow.... Going to hold you because I love babying you and treating you like you're not even a person because I see you only as my favourite character. (Mind you, this is distinctly SEPARATE from actual friendly support, you can tell the difference.)

You're not a fictional character, get over it lmao. Yeah I know you are them but like you didn't ACTUALLY live through that, stop claiming it, it's disrespectful. Why are you upset at my memes about your death lol. Get a life.

So like... Maybe fictionkind are people. Maybe I don't want to think about the worse parts of my source. Maybe I don't want my trauma shoved in my face as a little funny joke, even if the context is changed. Maybe, just maybe... Leave alterhumans with fictional sources alone. Even if their source is lighthearted, even if it's for kids, even if it's the most "cringe" media you can think of.

Sonic the Hedgehog might've seemed fine in-source but maybe he's fucked up from all that he's been through. That warrior cat alterhuman isn't just being edgy, maybe they're suffering from the memories of fighting to survive day in and day out. Bluey is allowed to be not okay, and their source shouldn't dictate their experiences. Do you ever think that some Pokemon or trainers don't have amazing, adventurous lives travelling around with their best friends? Mario might have nightmares and flashbacks from his source. Mickey Mouse is allowed to be hurt, and allowed to express that. That MLP alterhuman isn't always going to be just a happy colourful magic pony with no issues whatsoever.

We are PEOPLE, and our sources being "happy", "for kids", "light-hearted", "fun" or anything of the sort should NOT dictate how we are treated here, what our experiences are "allowed" to be, or how we are expected to act. Treat fictionkind--of all sorts--like PEOPLE.

[bestlilithian]

The lilithian experience (lilith dominant chart)

Personal experiences w having heavy lilith influence

- Older people being creepy subtly or overtly, but usually subtly with certain looks or touches or comments, especially strangers in public or distant family friends

- Being told Im scary or intimidating, or that I look mean (a girl once told me she thought I wouldnt want to hang out w her and her friends because I looked 'too pretty and kinda mean') [this is esp w lilith/asc harsh aspects]

- Lilith square asc culture is walking into a room a little pissed or in a hurry and everyone shutting up (also works for mars/pluto)

- Now Ive never heard anyone else talking about this but as a lilithian woman Ive always been disgusted by the idea of having sex with a man because in our culture a woman who has sex w a man is seen as having been dominated and degraded by him ("I fucked her" "I hit that" "I scored") also the act itself is very power struggle-ish like no *I* want to bend over a man and make him suck *my* dick

- Being hyperaware of people looking at you (even if youre dressed extremely modestly or without makeup)

- Lilith/moon aspects 🤝 your mom making inappropriate comments about you and your body

- Lilith/sun aspects 🤝 your father insulting you or making weird comments (more subtle w soft aspects so you might brush it off but its still not okay girl)

- People thinking youre flirting with them or others (esp men) but youre just hot and talking, and you cant help that ppl have strong reactions to anything you say really

- Loving eye contact <3 (w the right people)

- Lilith square saturn culture is not being afraid to stand up to authority <3 and having to quite often because they have a pick on you and try to tear you down

- also w lilith square/opposite saturn grown ass adults will have beef w you when youre a kid, esp those w authority over you like teachers, coaches etc

- Lilith/asc harsh aspects and overthinking whether a fit is too revealing or not (because you dont want to get harassed and looked at again) (but then youll grt harassed even if you go out in a priests suit so 🤩)

- People (esp men) trying to use you for sex

- Always being the one guys want to be friends w benefits with while theyre crushing on another girl

- "I dont like what you do to me" - most men Ive interacted with for a while

- A guy told me he liked me for who I am but he couldnt stand "the effect I have on him"

- lilith in 4th house culture is attracting men w mommy issues and being looked at by guys in relationships

- lilith/mercury and needing to know all your friends bdsm test results

- People liking when youre mean 2 them

- People who hate you often want to have sex w you

- Ive had so many guys in my class literally have to gather up courage to talk 2 me, even for basic things like asking me to help w something, they approach me looking all tense and worked up like Ill slice their head off for asking me to help them with their math lmao

- A classmate (and friend, apparently) of my friend once didnt want to come out and meet me when I went to my friends school to give her something because she thought Id beat her up (for context I found out she said some nasty things to my friend and was not happy about it)

- Being told by ppl (esp men) that I remind them of characters who are villains

- People esp girls not liking me for no reason or being rude

- Guys in relationships being extremely cold and rude to me or even shittalking me to their gfs (you can guess why)

- People trying to 'put you in your place'

- Recognizing other lilithians immediately

- Being insecure about your private parts, your body in general and your appearance

- Sex obsession since a young age

- Sexual harassment unfortunately

[findafight]

Okay I kept thinking about this post and Steve being a BNF of Corroded Coffin message board of the internet of yore.

Alright so way back in the nineties Suzie hooks everyone up with the internet, yes? Yes. Eddie and Steve got together in '92 after some mutual pining and a few disastrous relationships that couldn't handle 1) Steve and Robin's general QPR clinginess 2) Eddie's intensity 3) the secrecy required if having multiple years of monster fighting and subsequent NDAs and the trauma associated therein. They're older and more settled and ready for an Adult Relationship.

Corroded Coffin is gaining traction and doing really well and the internet is still a brave new frontier, so Steve says to Eddie something like "I'm going to see if there's some message boards about you 🥰" and find them he sure does. So he makes accounts and posts under the username EddiesOnlyGroupie because he's hilarious and also the mods banned him from using EddieMunsonsHusband (he figured it was fine on the internet because nobody actually knew who he was but APPARENTLY NOT homophobia lives on in the digital age). He gets pretty well known in the Corroded Coffin fandom, most assuming he's a woman because he will go off on how hot Eddie looked at a gig. Like. Saying unhinged internet shit because 1) true and 2) he and Eddie think it's so funny. Everyone kinda believes the groupie thing too because of all the performance pics he's able to post and how he'll sometimes offer tidbits if knowledge about the band.

When they transition from chatrooms to livejournal etc he follows, with the same username. He's kind of a legend by the mid aughts. EOG is the acronym people use when discussing theories on his identity, and he's like "guys I'm literally his only groupie it's self explanatory. Guys why don't you believe me Eddie hasn't slept with anyone but me since 1992. We're basically married". He goes "it's not a mystery we literally are in love and Jeff and I go to Cubs games and cry when they inevitably lose together. Gareth is Godfather to my cats" (Eddie is still offended that he was not named Sassafras and Moonshine's godfather when Steve and Robin adopted them in '89). No one believes him.

Possibly because he still thirsts after Eddie and whenever someone posts a new Eddie pic those in the know wait for him to pop up with comments like "I want to bite his neck omg" "he has no ass but nobody is perfect I'll settle between his thighs anyway" and "literally a crime I am not married to him right now what the fuck" As twitter grows he swoops in to grab his handle, and follows a bunch of other CC fan accounts (some of them old friends, some of them new to the scene)(EOG 100% has his own fanlore page, which also has speculation on who he is and how he gets all the bts pics. It also doesn't believe when he says what it says on the tin. He's Eddie's only groupie.)

tumblr and tiktok come round and Steve is like. Openly horny on main. He's seen some shit go down on the internet but he's still commenting on Eddie fan edits that are title shit like "why am I attracted to this middle-aged white man" and "retro cc fancam" with things like "I'd let him lick the inside of my ear and only bring it up to tease him on special occasions" "his FINGERS" "back in '89 Jeff and Howie and Claire staged a mutany over this song because they were 'sick of Eddie only writing about biting bats' lmao" and "Jeff is my favourite member of cc"(just to stir the pot)

Eddie comes out in the 2010's and he's like "yeah I've been in a long term relationship with someone who is usually mostly a man kinda (gender is fucky) for the past twenty years, lol. His name's Steve. I love him a lot even if he mocks me online." and of course EOG comments "the mods of that old message board should have let me keep my original handle of EddieMunsonsHusband. When're you gonna make it reality, Munson? smh" and everyone is like Huh?? EOG is a MAN? And he's like yeah? Sometimes?? Not always?

(He 100% thinks this is him telling people he's Eddie's Steve. They don't get the message)

Anyways life goes on Steve continues to thirst under pictures of Eddie, he has his pronouns and name in his bio on twitter (Steve, he/him, she/her, Eddie Munson's first and only groupie 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ ) and continues to post behind the scenes photos that shockingly few people question (she always says "because I'm his groupie" though. He and Eddie think this is VERY funny and also true. Robin groans. They've been making the same joke for two decades.) and people believe it because Eddie has interacted EOG sometimes, liking photos or videos, commenting sometimes. (Steve has a more professional realname account that he rarely uses but Eddie usually tags Steve there)

And THEN Internet user EddiesOnlyGroupie says he's taking a few weeks off for her honeymoon because "I'm finally marrying the man of my dreams!" And people are happy for him but also bummed because Eddie is also taking a two week hiatus but EOG promises wedding and honeymoon photos. (Face reveal! Sorta!)((he doesn't get why people are excited because he's pretty sure he's been in a lot of Eddie's recent pictures, but whatever)

Imagine the Internet's surprise when Eddie Munson posts a collection of pictures spanning '86 to his 2016 wedding of him and Steve, including one of Steve looking seriously at an old desktop computer, captioned "Steve starting his internet career" and tags EOG.

Steve qrt with "I told yall. I'm his only groupie, and they should've let me keep EddieMunsonsHusband even if they WERE homophobic. Because now it's TRUE"

Niche internet community drama chaos ensues.

[hazelfoureyes]

The most important question of all: What type of drunk is everyone in the hotel?

Deeply held personal beliefs here lmao

‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹ Alastor

𖦹Alastor loves being the center of attention and he drops his need for an air of mystery when he’s a few fingers deep into the rye. He grabs unwilling participants by the wrists and swing dances with them, despite their clear lack of understanding on how to swing.

𖦹He hums and sings under his breath while sitting in a comfy chair.

𖦹Loqacious! Vaggie would like him to shut the fuck up, Charlie is alarmed because he always reminisces about his real life murders like discussing a loving partner long gone. He is a talkative drunk through and through.

𖦹 Next day: No shame the next morning. Everyone’s annoyed and he might be a little sheepish, but ultimately he doesn’t care.

𖦹Smutty: Never lets you top, but once he’s had a few and has relaxed, will happily lie back and let you take care of yourself with his body while he watches you. Rarely vocal during sex, he’s suddenly talkative and showering you in groans and moans.

Lucifer 𖦹Lucifer doesn’t drink. He really doesn’t. Oh geez, okay well if Charlie is asking so sweetly and everyone else is what’s the harm in-

𖦹Shirt unbuttoned halfway, everything he says sounds like a double entendre even if it isn’t. Cannot stop flirting, even accidentally. The flirty drunk has arrived.

𖦹He stays put, picks a chair or stool and just hunkers down, watching happily over the gathering.

𖦹Pet names for everyone. CharChar, Magpie, Legs, Whiskers, Bambi… Niffty is just Niffty. Even drunk he is a little scared of her.

𖦹Next day: No hangover, excitedly and nervously listening to all the stories of things he did. “Yeah that sounds like me hahaha”

𖦹Smutty: Slow love making, takes his time and moves over you like molasses. Doesn’t care about finishing, just likes the feeling of being close to you and hearing the sounds you make. 50/50 you fall asleep together with him still in you.

Angel Dust

𖦹Angel handles his liquor like he’s handles his men; with an open throat and a smile. It’s genuinely hard to tell if he’s drunk unless he’s so gone his pitch of voice has changed. 𖦹With a little inebriation, he’s leaning into his friends and talking really openly about his feelings and problems in life. 𖦹Drunk? Like— drunk drunk? He’s loud and hanging on everyone for stability. Every grin borders on sleazy, but if the wrong person made a move they’d get four hands to the face pushing them away. Alastor thinks he is the life of the party; Angel is the party.

𖦹Next day: Angel has no memory of what happened the night before and even if he does he will just pull his sunglasses down and pretend he doesn’t.

𖦹Smutty: Angel likes drunk sex, because he can feel his body disconnect from his mind. His eyes would be unfocused, and no matter the lover his gaze would always be at the ceiling. His attention purely on the sensations his body was offering him. He’d be quiet, just enjoying himself.

Husker

𖦹Husk is usually ornery, but when drunk he becomes the wise old man who wont stop talking to you like a kid. Husk, I’m a grown ass adult? Ha, in my day you would still be in diapers. That doesn’t make any sense Husk. Sense? Your lot don’t know shit about sense.

𖦹When he isn’t pretending to be everyone’s drunk Gandalf, compliments flow like booze from a tipped bottle. You’re real pretty when you smile. Wish I saw more of it. — That’s what I like about you, you always get back up.

𖦹Husk is always topping up everyone’s glass, and even when drunk he’s the one who registers when someone’s had enough. On many occasions he has replaced Angel’s drink with just orange juice and soda water when he wasnt looking, too drunk to notice.

𖦹Next day: Yesterday didn’t happen, order a drink or get the fuck out of the bar.

𖦹Smutty: Husk doesn’t like sex when he’s drunk, he doesn’t like the implication anyone may not be fully aware of what’s happening. He’ll cuddle, caress, kiss, but no sex unless you’re relatively sober or you had explicitly made plans to enjoy a drunken romp. In which case, he relishes in changing positions often to find new ways to make you gasp out his name. Tipsy or not, his hands are always steady.

Charlie

𖦹Charlie is the happiest drunk to exist. Her confidence sores with a little liquid courage. She’ll clamor onto the bar and declare she is going to redeem all of Hell, making the Pride ring a glorified bus stop between death and the pearly gates.

𖦹Clumsy. She talks with her hands and spills her drink everywhere. Constantly running into things with her hips and feet. She will trip over nothing, and apologize to the air for the misstep.

𖦹Charlie oscillates between talking nonstop to being dead silent, big doe eyes watching intently as you speak. She’s hanging on every word.

𖦹Tells everyone she loves them, then cries about how much she loves them.

𖦹Next day: Hungover, doesn’t understand why people drink so often, this sucks. Slightly embarrassed about getting up on the bar but otherwise has no issues knowing she doted on everyone.

𖦹Smutty: The Morningstars are similar in that they take their time. They need to hear every little gasp, every held breath. Charlie would spend hours exploring the places she could make bring you pleasure. Little giggles from between your legs as she gives herself mental pats on the back.

Vaggie

𖦹Drunk Vaggie is similar to Sober Vaggie. Serious but caring, and relatively quiet. She wouldn’t become overly showy or loud. Your only indication she’s been drinking is the slight slur to her words and the way her hands tip her drink a little too much when talking.

𖦹Goes on full rants about heaven if the topic comes up. Just bashes the hypocrisy and curses her fellow angels.

𖦹Slips more into Spanish, her words dipping between the two languages.

𖦹Little more handsy, resting her chin on her darling’s shoulder and letting her hands come around their waist while they are talking to people.

𖦹Next day: Needs everyone to shut the fuck up and turn the lights off. She swears she’s never letting Angel mix her drinks again. Mortified to hear she was necking in the lobby.

𖦹Smutty: Drunk Vaggie just wants to kiss and hold you, enjoying the way the room spins a little around you both as you lose track of time. She’s down for more, but only if you’re taking the lead.

Niffty

𖦹Please stop handing her drinks.

𖦹Fuck, she’s drinking other people’s drinks when they aren’t looking.

𖦹She’s dusting the ceiling, she’s vacuuming the sofa, dear God she’s scrubbing Angel’s hands with pure bleach shrieking, “Diiiiirty.”

𖦹Unhinged. More so. Somehow. Makes everyone a crown of trash.

𖦹Next day: is she still drunk? No? This is just her natural state of being?!

𖦹Smutty: Bad boys welcome, everyone else can get shanked.

༻Masterlist༺

∰ Summoning the Horny Little Deer Cult (general tag list):

@cxrsedwxrlds , @nonetheartist , @tsunaki , @janchei , @wettiny-in-smutland , @moonmark98 , @hoebihoeshi , @pansexual-opera-house , @polytheatrix , @lorddiabigmommymilkers , @backinthefkingbuildingagain , @harley2223-blog , @coffee-colored-hopeless-romantic , @poinappel , @midnightnoiserose , @spookieroz , @missmidorima , @ivebeenthearchersstuff , @downbadforfictionalppl , @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx , @sleepylittledemon , @aether-th3-enby , @dontfuckbutimfab , @breathlessaura , @aperfectidiot , @certainlygay , @jth12 , @star-kujo-platinum , @alitaar , @maddiemouse-1226 , @christineblood , @zombiesnips-blog , @readergirlstuff

@ivebeenthearchersstuffn, @rubyninja1 , @simphornies , @alleystore , @readergirlstuff , @berry-demon , @chirimeimei , @fairyv-ice , @olive-frog , @thonethatflies620 , @tiredkiwiii , @ilikemyteawithmilk , @whateverlololo , @psipies , @howabouticallyou , @roxxie-wolf , @ive-no-idea-what-to-call-this , @fizzled-phoenix , @fjorjestertealeaf , @phobophobular , @surusurusuru , @mariaclarade-la-cruz1 , @whateverlololo , @simplyonehellofanotaku , @xixflower , @i-am-nonbinary-bean-deal-with-it , @roxxie-wolf , @a-case-of-attachment , @multifandomfanatic02 , @watereddownmilk , @raynerrold , @crazii-saber-wolf , @valkyrie-expeditions , @bontensbabygirl , @sillyb0nez , @oo0lady-mad0oo , @jazzmasternot

[seokgyuu]

→ PAIRING: Chan (Dino) x Afab!Reader x Seungkwan. → GENRE: Friends to Lovers, kinda comedy, tiny bit of fluff, adult content: smut MDNI. → SYNOPSIS: One night of careless drinking with your 13 closest friends leads to Chan and Seungkwan finally finding out you have a crush on them. How lucky you are that the feelings are mutual and that they want to show you just how much they worship you. → WARNINGS: alcohol use, cursing, mutual masturbation (m/m), dirty talk, loads of kissing (m/f/m), blowjobs, mouth, throat and cheek fucking, cum eating, softdom!chan, oral (f receiving), use of petnames: baby, princess, slut, protected sex, double penetration (vaginal & anal), multiple orgasms, really this is filthy lmao → WORDCOUNT: 10.7k

A/N: hello!! what started as a boochan brainrot ended in a boochan brainrot for @bitchlessdino's birthday!! so, here it is your 10k long monster of a present because this girl cannot stfu. i love you and i hope you have the best birthday ever! for everyone else, you are obviously also allowed to enjoy this filthy peace of work! i would appreciate a reblog & comment as that makes my day <;3

Perhaps your ability to fake it was slowly becoming a problem. Fine, being an acting major and all, having even starred in a few theater productions it wasn’t exactly a surprise you were a good actor, but this extent even shocked you.You were at a restaurant with your friends, all of them drinking and having fun and while you at least acted like you had the same amount of fun, you knew well enough you weren’t. It wasn’t like your friends weren’t any fun, no, they were, but two of them in particular had you literally sweating bricks since the moment they had sat down.

In your time at SVT university, you had made a total of 13 friends. All of them boys, all of them already connected from before. The first one you had met was Mingyu, a tall, handsome fella who had adopted you on orientation night when you had struggled to finish all of the shots you and the other freshmen were supposed to drink. Back then you had been a lightweight but being friends with 13 maniacs (even though a couple of them didn’t drink alcohol) had shaped you into a whole new being. So, Mingyu had taken it upon himself to introduce you to his friends and soon enough you found yourself to be all of their little sister.

And for a while that was fine, you didn’t particularly care about them being good-looking or campus crushes, no, to you they were just the guys that had taken you in when you had no one on your side. Moving to the city on your own with no friends or family wasn’t easy, and these 13 idiots had somehow managed to make you feel right at home. They still made you feel at home when only half of you were still in Uni and the rest had graduated, gotten jobs, bought apartments. But as mentioned before it was only fine for a while. Because the more time you spent with them, all of you together or in smaller groups or individually, the more you noticed that two of them made it harder for you to just want to remain friends.

The restaurant wasn’t full, considering it was a Tuesday evening, but since your group was big enough, you were sure the owners would still consider this a successful evening, nonetheless. Right now, you were seated between Mingyu and Jihoon, the table in front of you filled with countless different types of food, your stomach full and your mind a little blurry from the soju you had already drank. You had started playing drinking games about an hour ago, going from wild to mild. At this point, you all had your fingers raised for a (not so) sweet round of “Never have I ever”.

“Okay, uhm, never have I ever…slept with two people in the same night!” Jun seemed extremely happy about his idea. Raising your brows, you watched how basically all of the 95ers, Soonyoung, Minghao and, surprisingly, Hansol, folded a finger.

“Hansolie?” You asked, a grin spreading on your face, and he shrugged as he looked over to you.

“Honestly, I don’t remember much about it, just that at 1am I met this girl, and we hooked up, I went to another club with her and ended up bringing another one home.”

“Ah, yes, I remember that,” Seokmin nodded, pointing at him with his index finger, “the first girl was pissed, but Chan took good care of her, didn’t you, Channie?”

Everyone laughed now, Chan’s cheeks bright red. Well, everyone but you. You just sat there, looking at Chan who was next to Seungkwan, who was also laughing. Suddenly you felt the need to be the first one to fold all fingers and drink your whole glass in one go.

It really wasn’t easy, you had figured out, having feelings for not just one, but two of your closest friends. To this day you hadn’t told a soul about it, and up to this point no one had noticed any changes in your behavior. That’s where the acting major came in handy. Clearing your throat, you put on a grimace.

“Yah, don’t talk about the girl like that, Seokmin oppa,” you scolded him and he put his hands together, bowing his head repeatedly as he continued to say “sorry, ma’am”. You scoffed and shook your head looking over at Jeonghan, who was next to Jun and had to say the next never have I ever.

“Never have I ever sucked a dick,” he said, smiling innocently. You took a deep breath and folded a finger. Hansol, Josh and Minghao followed.

“Look at that, our girl is finally having more than one finger down,” of course Jeonghan had targeted you, knowing he was going to take some of his boy-friends with him, but at least only those with at least seven fingers still up.

“Is that what we’re gonna do now?” You asked, shaking your hair so it would fall backwards from your shoulder and over your back.

“I just think we ask too many straight-male pointed questions. We should be more inclusive in this group!” Jeonghan smiled even wider, and you clicked your tongue, deciding not to answer him.

“Gonna be honest, I don’t even want to imagine Y/N sucking anyone off, like that’s our baby!” Mingyu said, arm now hanging over your chair. For fuck’s sake. You sighed, looking over at him.

“I’m not even a full year younger than Chan, you doofus.”

“At least call him doofus oppa, Y/N,” Cheol grinned, while Mingyu looked incredibly offended. You laughed and nudged Mingyu with your elbow before looking back at Jeonghan, who had a knowing grin on his face, a knowing grin that had you confused. Why did he grin like that?

“Me next!” Soonyoung stretched one arm into the air, his face red from the alcohol. You shook your head slightly, deciding to ignore Jeonghan and just hope whatever he had planned wouldn’t actually come true.

“Never have I ever had a crush on a close friend of mine!”

You felt your blood freeze. A crush on a close friend? Slowly, your eyes moved to Jeonghan, who, of course, was looking right at you. His finger stayed up.

You didn’t take notice of how Chan and Seungkwan folded their fingers. 

Leaning back in your chair, you decided to lie. Who said you had to tell the truth here? Crossing your one leg over the other and grabbing a piece of kimchi with your chopsticks to shove it into your mouth, you were content with your choice. At least for approximately three seconds.

“Yah! Y/N, you need to drink!” Soonyoung pointed at you with the arm he had stretched out before, and you choked on the piece of kimchi.

The table seemed confused – or at least a part of it did. While you coughed and Mingyu hit your back repeatedly to help, his face in a frown at Soonyoung, everyone on Jeonghan’s left side seemed just as lost as you felt, while everyone on his right side up until Joshua seemed as if they were more annoyed at Soonyoung. Jihoon, next to you, looked just as confused.

“Excuse me?” You croaked out now, reaching for your water glass, and taking a big sip.

“Ah, common, we have it figured out! You have a crush on Mingyu!”

And the water landed right on your food, spat out of your mouth.

“She- what?!” Mingyu’s eyes widened, while you tried to recover from your earlier coughing fit as well as the one that was now shaking you.

“Hyung, common! We wanted to get it out of her slowly!” Seokmin complained and Soonyoung sighed.

“Do you even know how much we drank? If we do any more shots, we will all die, Seokmin-ah!”

“I do- I do not have a crush on Mingyu!” you finally managed to say, a napkin in your balled fist, “what makes you think I do?!”

Now, everyone looked at you, including Jeonghan who raised his brows.

“You don’t?” He asked, obviously not believing you. You scoffed.

“No, I don’t. And now tell me why you would even think so?”

Jeonghan shifted on his seat, and you were slightly uncomfortable with all the eyes on you – especially Chan’s and Seungkwan’s. How on earth had Jeonghan gotten this so wrong?

“Well, uh, I overheard a conversation you had the other day. With one of your friends? Yuri, I believe?”

You began to wreck your brain. A conversation you had had with Yuri? You remembered talking to her the other day, remembered that she had asked you something and-

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” you groaned, pulling a hand through your hair, “I don’t have a crush on him, she does!”

And scene. The silence was louder than words. Then – laughter. Everyone but Jeonghan, who’s mouth was now shaped like an “o”, laughed loudly, Jun placing his hand on Jeonghan’s shoulder.

“Yah, hyung, how bad are you at eavesdropping, hm?” The older guy didn’t say anything, he just continued to stare at you. You shook your head, a grin spreading on your lips.

“Feels bad to be embarrassed like this, huh? And to think you wanted to do that to me, oppa. Seriously, me liking Mingyu? You couldn’t have gotten it more wrong.” Pause. You noticed it just around the same time as everyone else. The laughter died down and made room for curious eyebrow raises. Shit.

“So, you’re saying there is someone you like?” Jeonghan was right back in his element, the annoying smirk back on his lips and, god, did you want to punch it off right then and there. Maybe even take some off the leftover perilla leaves and stuff them in his mouth.

All eyes were on you now. Clicking your tongue, you leaned forward.

“Did you really think you’d just get me to confess potential feelings to one of you right now?” You looked straight at Jeonghan, who shrugged with an innocent grin.

“If we got you drunk enough, why not?” Oh, he was such a menace. Did he really think you were this stupid? You scoffed and leaned back, arms crossed.

“Even if I would allow myself to get super drunk, never would I ever tell you anything. At least not with all of us together.”

“So, you’re saying there is someone you have a crush on?” Mingyu now chimed in, basically asking the same question as Jeonghan had before. You closed your eyes momentarily, contemplating how on earth you could still make these mistakes when you had literally been living with these crushes for ages and nothing had ever slipped out. Perhaps it was the alcohol. And the fact that both Seungkwan and Chan just looked way too good tonight.

You had watched them both to the best of your abilities, trying not to get caught (and apparently you hadn’t, considering everyone thought you had a crush on Mingyu). Seungkwan had been in a bit of a mood when he had arrived, and for some reason his slight annoyance made you want to jump his bones right then and there. That mixed with the way he drowned shots, his pretty fingers around the glass, almost flipping the glass over but skilfully stopping it at the last second. Even though you didn’t understand why… it was insanely attractive. His black polo and sweats, the way his brown hair fell into his face. All about him had you in a chokehold. It was basically the same with Chan. Sporting a zip up hoodie and jeans, a black t-shirt underneath, smiling and laughing loudly along when anyone made a joke. These two were in some ways complete opposites and still fell in perfectly together. As much as they often pretended to despise one another, it was safe to say they were actually the best of friends, inseparable. Perhaps that was why you hadn’t just fallen for one of them, but both. 

Sitting at the table now, with your friends all quieter than you had ever seen them, you decided that it was time to get this over with. Sighing, you waved the waiter over, who you then proceeded to ask for a pen and paper, all whilst the 13 guys surrounding you looked more than just a little confused. 

“What exactly are you doing?” Wonwoo asked now, his eyebrows raised just like the rest of them. Instead of answering you thanked the waiter when he brought you your desired items and slid closer to the table with your chair.

“Since you are all so curious, why don’t we end this once and for all, hm? I’m going to put an X on one of these papers and hand them out to you. If you’re getting the X, and you are interested in me as well, you can come over to my place tomorrow at 8. If you don’t have time, make it,” you were ripping apart the paper until you had 13 almost identical pieces, acting like you were writing on every single one of them (your hand shielding you) and finally folding them together. The boys stared at you with their mouths dropped.

“If you’re not interested, just forget it happened, alright? First and foremost we are friends, and I don’t want that to change, got it?” Now, you got up from your chair, all the small pieces in your hand. You knew which ones held the X’s, ready to give them to Seungkwan and Chan when you reached them, not really able to stop your heart from racing. As you started handing them out, you cleared your throat.

“Oh, and don’t open them now. Open them later, okay? I don’t want this to get any more awkward.” 

When you finally reached the two men of your desire, you managed to stay calm just like before. You had successfully convinced yourself that this was just another performance of yours; the boys were your audience and you were inviting them to perform with you, they were a pawn in your game, a piece of your art. Thinking like this made it easy to not be embarrassed and worried about the outcome of this little play. It helped you discard the thought of Seungkwan and Chan going home to their shared apartment later, of them opening the papers either together or alone and then seeing an X, most probably going to tell the other. And just like that they would know that you liked them both. 

Sitting back down once everyone had received their papers, you grabbed your shot glass. 

“Now that that’s done. Shall we continue?”

–

Living together had never been more nerve wracking than right now. Seungkwan and Chan sat in the taxi, both quiet, the papers you had given out heavy in their pockets. Neither of them had said a word, mostly because they wouldn’t even know what to say. It had been a while since they had found out they liked the same person - namely the girl that had just given out papers that would either have one of them feel the luckiest he had ever been and one shattered, or both just disappointed, but at least disappointed together. They hadn’t even thought about the third option. 

Arriving at their shared place, the door falling closed behind them, the two kicked off their shoes and slowly made their way into the living space, a relatively big room with a couch and a TV, a small dining table and finally the open kitchen with an island that they used way more frequently than the table. Without exchanging words they sat down on two stools, their hearts racing as they put their respective papers on the island.

“Who goes first?” Chan asked, hands clasped together on top of the island. Seungkwan gulped.

“Together?” He suggested then and Chan nodded, his sweaty hands letting go of each other to reach for the tiny thing holding so much power. Seungkwan did the same, his throat dry and an unwelcome feeling in his stomach. In his mind it was either neither of them or Chan. Everyone loved Chan, girls loved Chan. He was charming and handsome and some even called him pretty. He was funny and kind, he had an incredible build and his dancing abilities were to die for. Seungkwan, on the other hand, wasn’t exactly popular with the ladies, at least not in the way Chan was. Yes, he was popular because he was funny and outgoing, because he always knew how to make a room laugh and how to present himself as the goofy friend. He had had one girlfriend all his life and that was about all the experience he had. He didn’t even know where to start with Chan. 

“Alright then. On three?” Chan looked over at his best friend, who nodded slightly. He could literally see the sweat forming on Seungkwan’s forehead, could hear the speed of his heartbeat. While Chan wished for it to be himself, of course, he also kind of wished it would be Seungkwan you liked. He knew he wasn’t going to be mad at his best friend if he was the one you wanted. More so the opposite. Smiling at him now, Chan leaned over, his elbow softly nudging him in the side.

“Hyung, it’s gonna be fine, okay? Whatever the outcome, we will be fine.” The words touched Seungkwan more than they probably should and somehow he managed an honest smile before taking a deep breath.

“Okay. One.”

“Two.”

“Three!” The two of them said the last number in union, opening the papers at the same time, only to suck in their breaths. Two perfectly written Xs were right there in front of them. For the first few seconds they only stared at the paper, both of their hearts leaping out of their chests, their stomachs doing flips, butterflies spreading throughout every inch of their body. But then they realized what they were seeing, their heads almost simultaneously twirling around to look at the other. When neither of them saw disappointment, they felt confusion. When they looked at the other’s paper, they felt even more confusion. 

The next hour was spent calling the 11 other friends that had been at the restaurant receiving a paper. 

The hours after that were spent on Seungkwan’s bed, staring at the ceiling in their pjs. 

“So,” Chan said after what felt like an eternity of silence.

“So,” Seungkwan replied.

“She likes both of us.” Hearing the words out loud made them seem sillier. Unreal, as well. 

“Apparently,” Seungkwan shifted on his back, hands clasped and laid on his stomach, “what do we- what do we do?”

“I guess we’ll go to her place tomorrow.”

“Both of us?”

“She said whoever has an X on their paper is invited over at 8pm, hyung. So yes. Both of us.”

“And then what?”

Chan stayed silent at that once again. Yeah, then what? Gnawing on his bottom lip, he let the thought run through his mind. If you liked both of them, it could mean two things. One, you would want to choose eventually which one you liked better. But this seemed unlikely. You weren’t an indecisive person, they knew that. They knew you. So, option two seemed more realistic, while it also remained the somehow scarier one. 

“I think,” Chan started, turning his head to face Seungkwan who was still staring ahead, “I think she wants us both. As in, she wants to date us both.” 

Now, Seungkwan looked over at him. 

“You really think so?”

“The other option just seems so unlike her. I think she has made her mind up about it and that’s why she even did this tonight. Yeah, she was kind of blindsided because Jeonghan hyung was being his same old enabler self, but… she wouldn’t have told us if she wasn’t ready to… you know. Commit to this.”

“And do you want to commit to this?” Seungkwan asked, wondering what Chan would answer. He was also wondering what he himself would answer. 

“I don’t know. I think… I think I like her a lot, hyung. Like a whole damn lot. And I know you do too. You’re my best friend and I don’t- I don’t know how to explain this, but I feel like, if it’s with you I would be able to… do this.”

Surprise was displayed on the older boy’s face and he slowly sat up, Chan following his movement. 

“So you’re saying that… if she wants both of us to be her boyfriends, you would be cool with that?”

“Yeah. I think so,” Chan hesitated a moment, “what about you?”

And there the question was. Laid out in front of Seungkwan, who had no idea what to say. Yes, he liked you. He liked you so, so much. But could he be in a poly relationship with you and his best friend? Could he- suddenly, the thought of Chan with you invaded his mind. You on top of Chan, kissing him, Chan’s hands all over your body, touching your skin. He couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to watch you, to hear you moan as Chan was kissing you, his hands somewhere between your legs…

“I think I would be too,” he breathed out now, his cheeks a little red and Chan looked at him attentively. Something in Seungkwan’s face, in his voice, had piqued his interest. He tilted his head, curiosity getting the best of him.

“What did you just think about?” He asked, not entirely sure why he was this intrigued. 

“I-,” Seungkwan noticed the glint in Chan’s eyes, noticed the obvious curiosity and felt excitement rush over him. Clearing his throat, he laid back down on his back, Chan’s eyes on him at all times.

“I thought about what she would look like on top of you,” Seungkwan finally explained, not looking at his friend but instead back at the ceiling. His blood was rushing through his ears and down to his cock that slowly but surely grew in size. Chan stared at him, not sure what he had expected to hear and while a part of him had known it was something sexual, hearing it from Seungkwan himself made goosebumps erupt all over his skin.

When Chan didn’t say anything, Seungkwan continued.

“I thought about what she would sound like, what her moans would sound like when you touch her,” he licked his lips, the image back and so clear in front of his eyes. Now, Chan also laid down next to him, eyes fixed on a spot above them.

“I can see that, too, you know. Her on top of you. Her hips grinding down because she is so desperate for friction. She always seems so confident and in control, but I think when she’s horny she doesn’t have any of that control left.”

“Yeah, and she would.. she would be begging for us to touch her, to-,”

“To fuck her,” Chan finished the sentence for Seungkwan, who now felt his dick reach the ultimate hardness. 

“Y-yeah,” Seungkwan stuttered, head dizzy, thoughts full of you and Chan and himself, in between the sheets, your wet and throbbing pussy around his size while you had your mouth on Chan’s hard cock. He had seen Chan naked more times than not, but none of these times had he been hard and for whatever reason, right now, he wished he had.

“Shit, I can totally see her, whiny and pouting, wanting all her holes stuffed with cocks, our cocks. She would suck on them so prettily, get her whole mouth full, wanting to touch herself but we wouldn’t let her, instead you’d go down on her, lick up her pussy and she’d moan around my cock, making me slip down further. Fuck, I bet she can take cock down all the way, I could feel it when i press down on her throat.”

Seungkwan had given up midway through Chan’s words. His hand was now down his pants, palming himself over his briefs, eyes closed as he listened to Chan’s voice. All the images of you were flooding his mind, making his hips move against his hand in a desperate attempt for even more friction. 

Chan noticed Seungkwan then. Heard the noises his best friend made, his skin slightly beginning to tingle. Swallowing down the phantom lump in his throat, he let his own hand slip into his sweats, feeling his hard cock against the palm of his hand. Precum had already stained his briefs and he imagined you on your knees, sucking on his tip, catching the drips of his arousal. 

“Do you think she’d let us fuck her tomorrow?” Seungkwan asked then, out of breath and his hand now fully around his clothed cock. Chan groaned at the question.

“God, I sure hope she does. Maybe on her couch? Sitting on my lap, riding me and you can fuck her sweet little mouth.”

“Fuck, bet she looks so pretty with her lips spread around our cocks,” both of them now slipped their hands fully into their underwear, the precum making it easy for them to jerk off. This had never happened before. Neither of them had ever just masturbated with a friend present. But this situation was oddly erotic and almost felt natural. Hearing each other breath hard, the slick of their wet dicks against their hands, the shifting of the duvet underneath them, as they arched their backs, fucking into their fists.

“Wanna see her tits full of our cum, fuck,” Chan bit down on his lip, hand speeding up and Seungkwan nodded harshly, vivid images of you naked and sprawled on his bed, cum decorating your body. In his head you would look at them with big, round eyes, fingers dipping into the white cream, sucking it off right after. He wondered if you liked to swallow cum, if you liked having it all over you. A part of him believed that you did. 

“S-Shit, Y/N,” Seungkwan moaned finally, his orgasm hitting him just then, only a few seconds before Chan was hit by his own, cum shooting out and into his underwear. The two men moaned your name, fucking themselves through their orgasms before coming down from their highs, hands still around their softening cocks, chests heaving.

Without saying anything, Chan got up first to go to the bathroom and clean himself up, the post-nut clarity giving himself a bit of a freakout. Seungkwan felt the same as he stood up as well, heart pumping in his chest at godspeed, his now dirty briefs finding their way into his dirty laundry basket and a new pair found its way onto his body. Also slipping into a new pair of sweats, Seungkwan turned around when he heard the ajar door opening wider. Chan stood there, a new pair of underwear and pants on his frame. 

“Can I sleep here?” Chan asked then. Seungkwan didn’t have to think twice before he nodded. 

–

7:45 pm the next day and you had prepared yourself as well as your apartment for either success or failure. Right now, you had dimly lit your living area, candles on top of the couch table with three plates and sets of chopsticks, the Chinese take-out you knew Seungkwan and Chan liked so much stored in the microwave. You had no idea if they were coming. You were just hoping they would. The closer it got to 8 pm, the more your stomach turned in fear and excitement. You had put on what you would consider your sexiest outfit; a dark green bodycon dress that reached down to the middle of your thighs. A bit of silver jewelry and your hair in the way you usually liked it - you were more than content with yourself for the evening. 

There is still a chance they won’t even show up.

Biting down on your painted lips, you let your eyes wander off to the clock by the door. 7:57 pm. Trying to make yourself calm down, you poured wine into one of the glasses standing on the table, drowning it in one go. While liquid courage might not have been the best solution - it still was one. Putting the glass back down, you almost dropped it to the floor when you heard your doorbell ring. Instantly, your heart began racing, eyes close to popping out as you hurried over to the door. Buzzing them up, you began one of your breathing exercises that you would usually do before going on stage. This wasn’t much different from stage fright- just that it was real and you wouldn’t have the chance to do it better the next night. No, this was it, this was the moment you had been hoping for, dreaming of. 

The knock on your door brought you back to the here and now and after shaking out your shoulders one last time, you finally opened the door. 

Nothing could have prepared the three of you for the feelings flooding you the moment the door was open, leaving nothing between you anymore. Seungkwan and Chan held their breaths once their eyes laid on you. The way you looked in your dress, showing off every single one of your curves. Knowing full well that you put on this dress for them made both of them feel their throats dry up. For a moment they were one, Chan and Seungkwan, their hearts beating the same beat only for you. Right then, it was only them and you on this earth and they were sure to make you feel just how much you meant to them.

And you? You couldn’t believe they were really here, both of them. Dressed in similar outfits, Chan wore a white dress shirt under a black jacket, while Seungkwan was dressed in all black. They looked incredible. 

“You’re here,” you finally breathed out and the boys nodded, their eyes never leaving you.

“Of course,” Chan replied, a small smile playing on his lips making your knees weak. 

“I’m glad. Come on in,” You took a step to the side, watching them as they walked inside your apartment. They had been here many times before, but nothing had ever felt like this. Already now did you feel goosebumps all over you, feel the urge to touch them, kiss them. All the things you had successfully suppressed over the time you had liked them were coming up at once, knocking the air right out of you. 

After leaving their shoes at the door, the two of them followed you inside, their eyes slightly widening when they saw what you had prepared. The candles and the dim lights. The prettily set couch table. 

“I ordered Chinese. Your favorite, I, uh, hope that’s okay,” you smiled, walking into the kitchen where you got the food containers out of the microwave, happy that they still seemed warm. Chan and Kwan watched you, both of them smiling warmly. 

“That’s perfect, thanks Y/N,” Kwan said, taking the food from your hands to bring them over to the table. Feeling your cheeks warm up, you thanked him and finally you and Chan followed him over to the table where you finally sat down. 

The nervosity clearly flowing around the table wasn’t too bad, you thought, but you did want to somehow ease the situation. Clearing your throat you poured both of them a glass of wine, sitting at the head of the table and the two men to your left and right. Their eyes on you made all of you tingle.

“Thanks,” they hummed when they took their glasses and you finally all had something to drink. 

“Well, here is to tonight,” your voice was thankfully way more confident than you felt. Clinking your glasses you all took a sip from the red liquid, feeling the warmth of the alcohol joining the warmth of the situation. Chan and Seungkwan exchanged a look before letting their eyes linger on you again. 

“So, you’re probably wondering what this,” you used your hands to make a circle between you and them, “is about?” 

“We did come up with two possible options,” Chan nodded and you looked over at him.

“Okay.” God, how on earth were you supposed to play it cool when he looked at you this way? Chan was always handsome, but tonight was different somehow. His white button down wasn’t fully buttoned, very obviously showing the necklace he was wearing, silver and sexy and your absolute weakness. His hair was styled up, only a few strands falling into his face and, shit, did he look delicious. 

“One of them was that you would tell one of us to leave at the end of the night,” he continued, watching you closely. You had already anticipated that this was the first thing they’d come up with. Society’s take on polygamy and all. Slowly, you nodded, wanting him to keep talking.

“The second one,” Seungkwan now chimed in, your head turning to him. He was also a sight to behold. Brown hair falling into his forehead as it always did. Pretty rings on his just as pretty fingers catching the light of the candles.

“Was you wanting both of us.”

Your stomach turned, the tone of his voice going straight between your legs. Gulping down, you nodded again.

“I see. Well, which one do you think is more likely?” 

“The second one,” Chan answered immediately, Seungkwan nodding in agreement. If you were honest, this had been the thing you had been scared of the most. Them finding out you wanted both of them and feeling appalled by it. But judging by their reaction right now… it didn’t seem like they were.

“And you’re okay with that?” You asked cautiously and they chuckled, both of them shuffling closer to you. It was almost as if the whole room suddenly shifted. Your breath hitched when you felt their body heat in such close proximity. 

“Very much,” Chan said, his hand softly caressing your cheek.

“More than okay, actually,” Seungkwan added, his lips right by your ear. Your core began throbbing, wetness gathering at your entrance, dripping out of you when you saw the way they both looked at you. Full of hunger, want, lust. 

“I- I’m happy to hear that,” you whispered and then, without another moment going to waste, Chan kissed you softly. His lips tasted like wine and like him, and when he parted your lips, his tongue knocking into yours, all of you began to tremble. Seungkwan took it upon himself to shower your exposed neck with sensual kisses, his one hand finding your bare thigh and squeezing the flesh. You moaned into Chan’s mouth, feeling the older male’s hand on the other side of your neck. 

Sure, you had thought that maybe at some point, if the two of them agreed to this, it would come to sex. Never had you expected it to go this way, them on you not even five minutes after they had set foot into your apartment. Not that you were complaining. Trying to figure out what to do with your hands you put one on Chan’s cheek, while the other laid down on Seungkwan’s resting on your leg, your lips moving against Chan’s in perfect rhythm. 

When Chan parted from you, you turned your head, facing Seungkwan now who’s eyes seemed to sparkle when your gazes met, a small smile on both of your lips before you leaned in. Seungkwan tasted like wine as well, but different from Chan. They both had tastes that you could only describe as addictive, your hands now moving and finding themselves on Seungkwan’s chest and Chan’s neck, Chan who now took it upon himself to take over Seungkwan’s earlier mission. The kisses he left all over your neck and shoulders made you shiver and he chuckled against your skin, the vibrations making you moan again, this time into Seungkwan’s mouth. 

“Perhaps we should move this somewhere else,” Chan suggested and Seungkwan parted from you, your eyes shifting between them.

“W-What about the food?” You croaked, Chan smirking as his thumb slid over your bottom lip.

“You have a microwave right? We can heat that up… later.”

–

You wouldn’t say that you lacked sexual experience. But then again you had never had a threesome before and up until you had started liking two of your closest friends, you had never thought you wanted one either. 

Chan was behind you, his hands on the zipper of your favorite dress, slowly tugging it down. Seungkwan was in front of you, his hands on your cheeks as he kissed you passionately, your tongues in a heated dance, lips moving together as if they had never done anything else. How wonderful it was, both of them being good kissers. You loved kissing, but it happened more often than not that partners of yours just didn’t really know how to. Seungkwan and Chan, though, definitely took the cake. Sliding the dress off your body, Chan began to fondle your exposed skin, fingertips dancing over your skin, making goosebumps erupt once more. He let his mouth draw lines over your shoulder blades and the back of your neck, letting his tongue flick against your sensitive skin. You wanted to touch them both, wanted to feel them, find out everything there was to know about what they liked. 

“You’re so beautiful, baby,” Chan whispered against your ear, his teeth finding your lobe and biting down on it, a whimper escaping you that had Seungkwan’s hands move down to your hips, gripping you tightly.

“Fuck, do that again, Channie,” he sighed and Chan did as asked, another whimper making both of their dicks twitch. 

“So, so hot,” Chan brought his nimble fingers to the clasp of your bra, opening it without any trouble and soon you found yourself mostly naked - with the exception of your thong. Now, Chan’s hands moved over your stomach and up to your breasts, squeezing them, massaging them, thumb and index around your stiff nipples, your back arching against Seungkwan who still kissed you with so much fire it made you almost lose your footing. Being sandwiched in between them was better than anything you had ever experienced before, and when you thought about their cocks and how they would feel inside you, you couldn't help but grind your ass against Chan’s crotch.

“Oh? Are you needy, baby?” Chan teased, biting into your shoulder before sucking and leaving a perfectly red mark right there.

“Mhm, w-want you to get undressed too, ‘s unfair,” you whined, and Seungkwan looked at Chan over your shoulder, both of them wearing a smirk that definitely meant trouble. 

“Is that right?” Seungkwan caressed the back of your head now, soft fingers through your hair and you nodded, a pout on your pretty lips. 

“Well, who would we be to deny your wish?” Turning you around by the shoulders, Chan proceeded to push you down on your knees, your eyes widening when you felt the carpet hit your naked legs. Above you, the two men now began unbuttoning their shirts, their eyes never leaving you, and once they were done the pieces of clothing landed on the floor next to your dress and bra. You couldn’t stop staring at them. Both of them were extremely well built, even if Seungkwan didn’t really think so about himself. While Chan sported more muscle, Seungkwan’s body had something elegant, his shoulders wide, his neck probably the prettiest thing about him. Your eyes wandered over their abs, Chan’s maybe a bit more defined than Kwan’s, mouth watering when you saw their happy trails leading to what you could only presume to be the prettiest dicks you’d ever see. 

“Be a good girl and help us with our pants, Y/N,” Chan said, and only now did you realize that he would be the one fully in charge. Your pussy throbbed at the thought and you nodded obediently, hands lifting to first open Chan’s trousers, button, then zipper shoving them down his lean legs, his thighs that made you clench around nothing. You looked up at him, saw the hunger in his eyes and bit your lip, not allowing yourself to let your eyes linger too long on his very obvious erection. Instead, you moved on to Seungkwan, doing the same as with Chan, just that this time you couldn’t help it. Seungkwan’s cock was big. Bigger than you had imagined. Your mouth dropped open and you were sure you were about to drool. Meanwhile, the two watched you, Seungkwan feeling his whole body grow hot when he saw the way you looked at his cock. He knew he was big, probably bigger than most of his peers, but he never really talked or felt like bragging about it. So, of course you’d be surprised. Chan, on the other side, smirked, seeing you in this state was incredibly hot and he snapped his finger once, making your head turn to him in an instant.

“Like Seungkwannie’s cock? How about you let it fuck your pretty mouth?”

Judging by the way Seungkwan twitched at Chan’s words, at least he was happy with that suggestion. But, so were you. Nodding your head, you looked back at Seungkwan, who inhaled sharply, his hands now tugging down his briefs exposing his hard, huge, leaking cock.

“Oh my god, Seungkwannie… s-so big,” you mumbled, your tongue shooting out to collect the precum that was pooling at his slit. He moaned slightly, finding the back of your head with his left hand.

“Slowly, babe. We don’t want you suffocating,” he smiled and you shivered, leaning forward to finally catch him between your lips. Hell, was it better than either of your imaginations. You, on your knees, lips stretched out around Kwan’s cock. Chan felt himself twitch, moving behind you, exchanging a look with Seungkwan. 

“Good girl, so good for us,” Chan praised you now, when you took even more of Seungkwan into your mouth. The older of the two men couldn’t help but let out breathy moans that spurred you on even more, the determination to get him completely down your throat bigger than ever. And then you felt it. Felt Chan’s hands on either side of your head, shoving you forward. He was moving your head to match Seungkwan’s pleasure. Fuck, that was hot. You couldn’t keep your eyes open, instead they rolled back, and Seungkwan watched you with his own mouth dropped, before he slowly looked up at Chan who’s eyes were locked on the way his best friend’s dick was sliding in and out of your throat. You felt Seungkwan twitch on your tongue, his tip now repeatedly hitting the back of your throat, gags erupting your body as well as chokes that made both men feel even more feral than before. 

Chan began moving you down Seungkwan’s cock quicker now, Seungkwan sure he wasn’t going to last long anymore, but a part of him didn’t really mind. He knew he was probably going to watch Chan fuck you and, fuck, was he excited to see that. Moaning your name, he grabbed some of your hair, pulling on it as he couldn’t help but buckle his hips. Tears were streaming down your face, but nothing about this was unenjoyable. Every thrust of Seungkwan’s hips combined with Chan’s pushing of your head was everything you had hoped for and more. Your core was dripping at this point, the thong useless, arousal dripping down onto the carpet and if you had been in any other headspace you might have begun asking yourself how you were gonna get that out. “F-fuck, I’m gonna cum,” Seungkwan cried out, his hips moving at a sloppier pace now and you groaned, excitement flowing through you.

“Do you want Seungkwan to cum in your mouth, baby? Or should he come somewhere else?” Chan pulled you off Seungkwan’s cock, you finally able to catch your breath, chest heaving and your eyes blinking rapidly. 

“W-wanna eat his cum, can I?” 

“God, yes, yes you can,” Seungkwan slipped into your mouth again and Chan smirked as he now let his best friend take the lead and instead sat down on the bed, palming himself over his briefs watching Seungkwan fuck down your throat desperately. You held onto his thighs, eyes rolled back again, hearing yourself gag over and over again mixed with the dirty sound of his slick cock inside your hot mouth making it hard for you not to just come untouched. 

“You take my cock so well, such a good girl, so perfect for my big cock,” Seungkwan whined, and you nodded as well as you could with him rutting down your throat. When you pressed your tongue against his girth, sliding along his veins, he couldn’t hold himself back anymore. He moaned your name once more, pushing your head as close to his abdomen as possible, his hot thick cum shooting down your throat. You tried your best to swallow it all, but some escaped your mouth when he finally pulled out, his eyes unfocused by the strength of that orgasm. 

“Tsk, tsk, tsk. Look at who made a mess,” Chan titled his head looking at you and you let your fingers slide over your chin where traces of Seungkwan were still present, sucking them into your mouth.

“Seungkwannie is so tasty,” you giggled then, eyes wandering from Chan back to the man who had just fucked the life out of your mouth. His spent cock twitched at your words and he caressed your face, before helping you back on your feet, his lips catching yours, leading you into a soft kiss that made another set of butterflies go crazy inside your stomach. 

Fondness engulfed Chan now, who still sat on the bed. He really hadn’t thought this was possible, but sometimes life took a turn no one could have predicted. Him being happy about his best friend kissing the girl he liked. Him being hard as a rock from watching his bist friend fuck your mouth. Now, he felt immense proudness somehow, proud that apparently all of you were mature enough to not be jealous or possessive - even though he wasn’t so sure how he’d feel if anyone else joined or had you. Maybe it was just him and Seungkwan he liked around you in this way. 

“Come here,” he now said and you and Seungkwan parted, you now walking over to Chan, while Seungkwan took a seat on the bed as well, resting against the headboard. You came to a halt in front of the pretty man and his hands found their way to your waist, right above the waistband of your drenched thong. Licking his hips, he pulled you closer.

“We should get rid of this, shouldn’t we?” he asked, but it was rhetorical. The next second he had already begun shoving it down, a shiver going through you when your wet cunt hit the air of the room. You stepped out of the underwear and Chan pulled you even closer, his breath fanning over your stomach. Your eyes never left his, feeling his fingers glide upwards again, his right hand moving between your thighs and getting a breathy gasp out of you when his fingertips touched your pussy.

“Fuck, she’s so, so wet, Seungkwan,” Chan let a film of your arousal coat his fingers before letting his left hand move up even further until it was on your right tit, squeezing it harshly. 

“Ch-Chan, pl-please,” your knees almost gave in and Chan chuckled, one finger skillfully sinking into you and making you cry out. 

“What is it, baby? Do you want me to finger your sweet little pussy?” He asked as he was already doing just that. His finger slipped in and out of you at an agonizingly slow pace and you had trouble holding still, your hands now resting on Chan’s shoulders, teeth buried in your bottom lip, hips moving against his hand.

“M-More, I can take it, Channie.”

“Oh, I bet you can, princess. Not yet, though,” Chan smirked again, before quickening his pace, thumb now pressing onto your clit. You moaned loudly, eyes falling shut. You didn’t know how he did it, but you already felt like cumming. Your walls clenched around his one single digit and he sucked in a breath when he felt it, felt the throbbing inside of you.

“Fuck, you’re already close, aren’t you a little slut…,” he mumbled, staring at your pussy, the wetness of his finger and just you. How was he ever going to get enough? 

Seungkwan was still sitting behind Chan, not able to see the way he fingered you, but just your face alone was enough to start his dick getting hard again. He was lazily jerking himself off, watching the way your face contorted in pleasure. He probably wouldn’t need much more to cum again, just this would be enough. 

“Mhmm, Ch-Channie pl-please, m-more,” you begged again and Chan felt his cock twitch, not sure how long he could resist giving in to you. For now, he just let his thumb draw circles on your clit, pressing down on it harshly as he let his finger slide in and out. And then, suddenly, his thumb was gone and you were about to protest, when it was replaced by something better. 

His tongue leaped at your clit, flicking at it over and over again before sucking it into his mouth, the high pitched moan you let out music to his ears and his cock, Seungkwan behind him cursing under his breath. Chan couldn’t help himself. He wanted to taste you so fucking bad. Not really knowing what he was doing, he pulled his finger out of you and instead brought both his hands to your hips, turning you around and throwing you on the bed, he himself now on his knees, tongue in between your thighs. 

“F-fuck, Chan!” You screamed, hands finding his hair, back arching against his mouth. He devoured you. Sucking your clit into his mouth first, moving down to your sopping entrance next, tongue fucking you, thumb back to his earlier ministrations. You couldn’t keep it down, he was too good at this, too good at making you feel like you were going to cum in the next three seconds. 

Seungkwan somehow got fully hard again, his hand wrapped around his length, moving up and down as he stared at Chan between your legs, sweat on his forehead. 

“Does he make you feel good, Y/N? You like Channie eating you out like this?” He breathed out and you nodded, your eyes flying open to look at Seungkwan, clenching around Chan’s tongue when you saw Seungkwan jerking off. 

“Yo-You’re hard again, Kwannie,” you groaned and he nodded.

“How could I not be? Look at you baby, you’re a fucking sight to behold.”

Just then you felt Chan’s tongue back on your clit, two fingers pushing into you next and a scream left you, nails digging into Chan’s scalp, hips moving rapidly against his face and fingers, the man between your legs enjoying every second of it. He put his all into making you cum, fingers curling, hitting your spot, tongue circling your clit, pressing down on it and sucking it into his mouth again, drowning in your taste and smell, his free hand inside his briefs now, fucking his cock into his fist. 

“‘M gonna c-cum, Chan, d-don’t stop!” He wasn’t going to. If anything he was just going to keep going to make you cum again. When your first orgasm hit you, you kept on chanting Chan’s name, your hips uncontrollably moving against his face, pussy throbbing around his fingers. When he didn’t stop after your high was over you felt yourself fall, your back lifting off the bed, seeing black and white in front of your eyes when he somehow got another orgasm out of you mere seconds after the first one. 

Finally, Chan parted from you, his face full of your arousal, a smirk on his lips as he climbed on top of the bed, his briefs discarded on the floor. You were out of breath, feeling fucked out already. You weren’t willing to stop just yet though. 

“Came so good for us, baby. So pretty and perfect,” Chan kissed your neck and finally your lips, your own taste spreading in your mouth. Hazily opening your eyes when he parted from you, you felt new energy sweep into you the second you saw what he did next. He moved to Seungkwan, the fingers that had been inside of you right in front of the older male’s mouth.

“Wanna taste her?” Chan asked, and Seungkwan nodded quickly, sucking Chan’s fingers into his mouth. Your pussy clenched, another set of arousal dropping onto the bed. 

“Oh wow,” you breathed out, sitting up and watching how Seungkwan’s eyes rolled back at your taste, Chan so incredibly hard, cock twitching at the way it felt to have Seungkwan suck on his fingers. You were on your knees now, hands on Chan’s shoulders, lips attaching to his neck, sucking harshly on the skin. Moving down, you let your right hand grab around him, precum making it so easy for you to begin to jerk off his pretty cock. Chan moaned, pulling his fingers out of Seungkwan’s mouth only to grab him by the neck and crash their lips together, making you basically rub yourself against Chan’s backside. Fuck, it was so hot to watch them kiss, to watch how Seungkwan’s tongue twirle around Chan’s getting even more of your taste into his own mouth. 

Kissing Seungkwan was better than Chan had imagined. But then, he had never really imagined it before. And perhaps he would never do it outside the bedroom - but that was a thought for another day. Right now he just knew he enjoyed it, enjoyed Seungkwan’s tongue against his own, liked the way he tasted of wine and now of you. When they parted from each other, saliva was connecting their lips and their hooded eyes were staring into each other. You, behind Chan, were groaning, biting into Chan’s shoulder slightly.

“That was so hot, fuck, I need you both to fuck me like right now.”

Chan and Seungkwan looked back at you.

“How do you want us?” Chan asked, thumb sliding over your bottom lip. 

“One in the front, the other in the back. I have lube in my nightstand.” 

Holy fuck. Seungkwan and Chan groaned, and before you knew what was happening they had you in between them again, Seungkwan kissing you hard on the lips while Chan licked and sucked and kissed your neck, every bit of skin he could catch. You moaned against them, hands finding their cocks and beginning to jerk them both off at the same speed. The two men breathed hard, hands roaming over your body, one hand each on your tits, while the other was either in your hair or your ass. At this point you couldn’t even tell which hand belonged to whom, the horny daze in your brain too much. But you needed them, you needed them to fill you up, needed their cocks to fuck you hard and until you couldn’t walk properly anymore. 

Eventually you ended up on all fours, Seungkwan behind you, lube in his hand, and he couldn't stop staring at your pretty backside. He squeezed lube onto his finger and onto your tight hole, beginning to prep you slowly. Feeling his finger enter you hurt only a bit at the beginning, but he was so careful and soft it made it almost impossible not to enjoy. And with Chan kneeling in front of you, his cock in his hand, you felt like nothing could go wrong that night. 

“Wanna suck your cock, Channie,” you blinked up at him and the boy smiled, bringing his member to your lips.

“Stick out your tongue,” he commanded and you did it, his cock slapping down on your tongue a few times right then. You moaned, clenching around nothing as Seungkwan eased into your ass easier with you getting more relaxed. 

“Good girl. Now, suck on my tip, no tongue,” again you followed his order, sucking his tip into your mouth, your tongue so eager to touch him, taste him, but you wanted to be obedient and so you only watched him, tongue resting inside your mouth. Chan’s breathing was getting harder, his vision blurry. God, you looked so good, your lips stretched around his cock. 

“You’re so fucking hot,” he finally gave in, shoving his cock further inside your mouth, moaning loudly when he felt your tongue press against him, when he felt your throat restrict around him. He began fucking your mouth, changing the angle so he is inside your cheek, fucking against it over and over, the soft inside of it making stars appear around his head. 

Meanwhile, Seungkwan had managed to get another finger inside you, the fullness making you cry out in pleasure and just the thought of Seungkwan’s big cock filling your hole in a bit making your head feel dizzy. 

Chan knew he wouldn’t last any longer with how good it felt to be inside your mouth, pulling out to instead hold his cock by the base, staring down at you. 

“Such a perfect slut for us, I can’t believe we’re this lucky,” he mumbled, his fingers caressing your cheek before checking in with Seungkwan, who nodded. 

“I think she’s ready. What do you say, pretty baby?”

“Am ready. Need you so bad,” you wiggled your hips and Seungkwan chuckled before grabbing a condom and giving another one to Chan. You pouted a little - part of you wished they would just fuck you raw. 

“After all of us getting tested we’ll gladly fill you up with our cum, baby,” Chan seemed to have read your mind, your cheeks beginning to burn while he smirked down at you. 

Seungkwan positioned himself behind you, one hand on your hip, the other around his cock. The condom was on and another squeeze of lube coated it, making it an almost perfect glide when he sunk into you, the feeling of you around him so good he couldn’t help but moan in pleasure. Chan watched, ripping the condom open to roll it up his cock, waiting for Seungkwan to fully sink inside so he could take his place inside your throbbing cunt. 

“A-ah, Seungkwan,” you whimpered, tears pooling in your eyes when you felt him bottom out. He twitched inside you, hands now both on your hips. 

“You are so tight and perfect, princess, could cum right away,” his words made you shiver, and when he pulled you up, your back meeting his chest, you felt him slip inside even deeper, your eyes rolling back. Chan moved forward now, fingers on your core, lips finding yours for a soft kiss.

“Ready for me?” He asked and you nodded, one arm behind you, wrapping around Seungkwan’s neck, while the other was sneaking around Chan’s shoulders. The latter licked his lips, lining his cock with your entrance and beginning to push in. You gasped at the feeling of him stretching your walls, his body so close to yours, both of the men literally breathing against your skin, not even an inch of air between you. Nothing had ever felt better and right now you couldn’t imagine ever having sex another way. You looked into Chan’s eyes, felt him bottom out and the feeling of fullness is so much another set of tears pools in your eyes. 

“M-move, god, please fuck me,” you cried and they share one last look before giving you what you want (and what they want for that matter). 

The first thrusts were almost simultaneous. Chan and Seungkwan tried to match each other’s pace, but soon enough they got lost in their own pleasure. You, between them, were a moaning mess, tears streaming over your cheeks at this point, fingernails digging into the skin of the two men making you feel like the sexiest and most precious being on this earth. Hearing them breath hard, moan, groan, it was all like heaven to you. 

“You’re so fuckign tight, fuck, taking us so well,” Chan’s lips were on your neck, another mark showing up, Seungkwan on the other side, his hips frantically moving, lips latched onto your neck and shoulders whenever he wasn’t moaning your name and how good your ass was for his cock. Chan picked up the pace, chasing his high and hoping to take you with him, his hands finding your tits and squeezing them, while your own hand now moved in between your bodies, thumb on your clit getting you even wetter.

“Shit, you’re gonna make me cum,” Chan’s whisper into your ear made you tremble and you pushed your hips against Seungkwan who grabbed your hips even harsher, sure to leave a bruise.

“Won’t last long, f-fuck,” he felt like his head was about to explode.

“Want both of you to cum for me, please. Wish you were fucking me raw, want your cum in me so bad,” you didn’t know how you were able to form a cohesive sentence, but it did it’s job. The two men moaned, their cocks throbbing and twitching as they became even sloppier, both their heads buried in between your neck and shoulder, moaning against your sweaty skin as they came at the exact same time, cum shooting into the condoms and finally taking you over the edge for a third time. You milked them for all they had, collapsing against Chan in front of you, the exhaustion taking over. Your pussy still pulsated around Chan, making it hard for him to leave you, but looking at Seungkwan, he knew they should probably get you to lay down. 

They pulled out, Seungkwan helping you into the sheets, your eyes fluttering open and a smile spreading on your tired lips.

“That was incredible,” you whispered and Seungkwan nodded, softly moving the hair out of your face. 

“You are incredible,” he then added, kissing your forehead. Chan had gone to the bathroom meanwhile, getting you a wet towel which he now used to clean you up. Sadly for all of you, there wasn’t any of their cum involved. Still, you were thankful for the help, considering you would need at least another ten minutes of resting before you could get yourself to the bathroom. 

–

The food tasted great even when heated up. After getting dressed again (even though you did change into pajama shorts and a top instead of your dress) and peeing, the three of you had come back to the living space to finish the actual date. It was maybe slightly awkward, but nothing another glass of wine couldn’t fix.

“So,” you started, clearing your throat, “what does this mean for us now?” You looked from Seungkwan to Chan and back. 

“That you’re our girlfriend, right?” Chan raised his brows and you felt your cheeks heat up. Coughing once you slowly nodded.

“I mean… if you’re cool with that?”

“Cool with that?” Seungkwan laughed, “we literally just fucked the life out of you, we are more than “cool with that”, Y/N.”

You stared at him for a few seconds. Then you broke out into a laugh.

“Fair enough. Well then… yes, I am your girlfriend. You are… my boyfriends,” the smile wouldn’t leave your lips. 

“So, how exactly are we gonna tell the others?” Chan leaned back on his hands, a grin on his pretty face. 

“Well, first of all I should really let them know how wrong they got their guess. But to be fair - I am an incredible actor, so obviously no one would have known.”

“Well, you also didn’t know we liked you back, does that make us good actors too?” Seungkwan raised his brows. You thought about this for a second.

“I guess that makes all of us a perfect match. Easy as that.” And when they laughed and you ended up falling asleep on the couch later that night they couldn’t even deny how right you were. Nothing had ever felt more perfect than this. Than you.

[katz-chow]

im a ghost girlie but my love for soap is literally incomprehensible and i have this headcanon where its ghost x reader but soap third wheels all the time and its not like in a mean way at all, they’re just a trio that is basically inseparable. i also hc that they make so many jokes about being a throuple to the point where its not rlly a joke anymore lmao. anyway, this is all to ask if you’ll write some headcanons about that dynamic. fluff ofc! if u feel comfortable writing a little bit of poly soap x reader x ghost, i’d be very gracious 🙏🏽 but no pressure!

soap, simon, and the not-so-single parent

warnings: gn!reader, ghost x reader, soap x platonic!reader, my interpretation of ghost & soap, domesticity, fluff, johnny being johnny, simon being simon, reader being the concerned parent, third-wheel soap

a/n: this shit be on my mind constantly that johnny just loves to annoy and thirdwheel reader & simon. some of this is inspired by irl stuff. i'm not really into a poly triangle personally and i just can't imagine them, especially simon, to be okay with it, sorry!

humble beginnings

johnny didn't find out that simon had a romantic partner until you two reached past your 1 year anniversary. it happened by pretty much chance too, here's how that went: simon forgot a file, you were off of work, you drove to base, you dropped off said file using your dependent clearance, he kissed your cheek goodbye right in the doorway of his office (masked), johnny turned the corner, and as simon pulled away, you looked at johnny who was desperately trying to seem busy on his phone as he walked away hurriedly. he was on the calculator app. simon and you gave each other a look and he nodded, knowing that you've been wanting to meet the colorful coworkers (and his closest friends) for a while now. you called him over, soap, as you've remembered, not everyday you see a mohawk. johnny freezes and turned around to see you beckoning him back to the frame of the office, and simon with his arms crossed, staring a bit annoyed actually. he was chill when you two introduced each other, not wanting to embarrass himself. his eyes lit up though, when he heard you invite him over for dinner. "lovie..." simon started out, a gentle hand on your back. you hit his chest with the back of your head playfully, "no, no, this will be good for us. first diner party in our new house" "HOUSE? HOW LONG HAVE YOU HAD SOMEONE" he wanted to scream at simon's face, what came out however was a "i dinnae want to be a bother to you both" you insisted and he felt bad (but also curious), so dinner it was. simon took off his mask to please you and well, it was the comfort of his home. he rolled his eyes as johnny quipped that he certainly was "quite the opposite". from that day forward, it was the three of you against...manchester i guess?

children, the both of them

johnny tags along whenever you two are running errands on leave or on off days when they're both stationed at home. sometimes it's just you and him, or him and simon, or all three of yall. it started with a "we're having brunch, wanna join?" and now it's more like "we're going to the zoo, 9 am, get there" they make up the weirdest challenges and it feels like you're babysitting them both. simon, doesn't see it, he's a grown adult man, he's not silly. johnny says it's just in his nature like how it's natural that wombats poop in cubes (he walked ahead to read that tidbit and walked back to regurgitate it back at the two of you). challenges include: simon and johnny getting into a long debate about which is better, the smoked salmon crepes or the chocolate crepes, and when they mix them together, who can eat it all without puking? who can get to the butterfly sanctuary the fastest without running? who can find your favorite fish in the 30,000 gallon (113562.35 liter) fish tank WHILE holding their breath as if they were swimming in the water johnny telling you that his jokes are the best, simon butting in and using the "i'm your boyfriend, surely my jokes are better" card. you wanted to throw them both out of the car as they kept going back and forth with the most stupidest, tasteless, dad jokes ever. johnny saying he can drive better than simon. simon saying he can fly a broken helicopter and land safely. you're in the driver's seat. simon quipped that he would be a good artist compared to this shit's canvas (picasso) and johnny saying that his cat can paint better. simon said dogs can do it better. johnny said- you get the idea simon threw up after the 8th time on a rollercoaster. johnny threw up on the 9th. you, however, went through a nice scenic boat ride :)

quiet mornings

you three are closer than yall think. whenever they're both away, you always miss the noise they bring in the kitchen, trying to figure out how to make muffins or...popcorn. the three of you doing the daily wordle, crossword, and sudoku. "what's c for?" "c4 is an explosive, bonnie" "no johnny, what does C STAND FOR? fucking idiot..." mornings when you both are expecting johnny are never quiet, especially when he announces that he's there by knocking on the front door and saying "it's johnny!" when someone opens it. even when he's not there, you can at least hear simon's almost silent breaths if it wasn't for how close you two were. you miss them when they have to leave, you know it can't be forever, but damnit you missed the buzzing of them both. you don't miss, however, johnny and simon playing drunk monopoly.

[manicpixiedreamedwins]

Alright. I've been talking about writing a meta about Charles and jealousy for a while, so here it is. It's a mess. I tried to make it more concise than it was, if you can believe that.

Be forewarned, below the cut we'll be diving into some canon compliant content like Charles' home life. Please, please, please note that now is the time to leave if you are not in a good space to read about those.

Okay. First I want to establish a few things before I get to analyzing the scenes, because I think it is important that we have empathy for Charles here. This might be a bit of a long preamble, but if you could stay with me I'd appreciate it. I promise I am going somewhere with all of this.

I think a lot of us have been told, perhaps by a parent or a friend, that jealousy is unbecoming or bad. Think about it. I know growing up that is a message I heard frequently even though I saw adults exhibit it. This was actually pretty confusing to try and work out. Anyway, now with this almost puritanical obsession with good pure and healthy relationships in media, it's gotten worse. We're told any human flaw we have is something we have to fix or we are not deserving of love. Yes, including jealousy.

Only if that's the case, Charles is fighting uphill here. Here's why:

For reference 41:30 -42:00 in episode 4 is the flashback that The Night Nurse shows Charles of his home. If we unpack this we can learn a lot of things, but there are two that I would like two draw your attention to today:

Charles' dad clearly isn't someone Charles could form a secure attachment to. He seems to only be acknowledging Charles when he's angry, and only acknowledging him in a very violent manner. He's also not really communicating with him, and expecting Charles to know what he's upset about I guess? Truly, this man is terrifying. He knows his family is afraid of him, and he knows they'll scramble to try and fix whatever his issue is.

Charles' mom doesn't intervene. Now, I do not want to hear any vile junk in my notes. She's a battered woman and has probably been in the same position that Charles has, considering Charles himself is worried about her once he is dead. He's worried enough that he checks in on her every week. It makes it all the more heartbreaking that Charles is the one who has taken it upon himself to try and "make it better" (although this is not uncommon among kids who grow up in abusive households, alarmingly).

It definitely drives home that there is a clear hierarchy in the home (everyone tries to please the most volatile person), and you're at the bottom of the pyramid. Even if it's just because you and everyone else in the household is too terrified to do anything about the most abusive person's behavior, you still feel the weight of never being put first. You will never be put first, because how could you be? "You never made it better than you died" (via The Night Nurse) holds a crushing amount of meaning here.

Alright. Now we have established that Charles had some messed up stuff happen at home. Let's take that a step further. Adverse childhood experiences can lead to a variety of attachment styles that are not secure and... you guessed it, jealousy can get thrown in the mix. (This link leads to an abstract of a very interesting research article. If you request the full test directly from the researcher they will provide it for free, but it takes time. The basic idea here is that if kids aren’t able to form secure attachments to their parents, then they will struggle to feel secure in their relationships as they grow up. Sometimes that can manifest as jealousy).

Still with me after all of that? You are god's strongest soldier, lmao. Now let's get into the good stuff.

Charles dies, but there in the attic he meets Edwin. Charles chooses Edwin over the blue light without a second thought. He comforted him when he was dying, and that tenderness is foreign for Charles. The choice is an easy one.

He enjoyed it, and he enjoys Edwin. Edwin, in turn, turns out to be is someone who unequivocally, continuously, puts Charles first. He also does something really important- Charles seeks reassurance, and Edwin gives it ("You ever think, what if Death did catch us? She'd force us to go to the afterlife and split up" Charles asks. "I will make sure that never happens" Edwin answers, all while they're hanging on the side of their office). This is one of the first things we learn about them in the pilot. Charles knows he can count on Edwin. This wasn't something he had from anyone in life.

So things go fine for Charles for a long while. Edwin hasn't given him any reason to feel insecure in all that time it seems. He’s done a great job making Charles feel safe. Charles even feels secure enough that it is his idea to try and integrate Crystal into the agency, although Edwin clearly hates it. Crystal isn’t a threat to his friendship with Edwin, so it would appear Charles still feels reasonably secure in their relationship at this point.

Charles even explains or excuses a lot of Edwin's reactions to try and smooth things over. He tries to mediate between them during their first plan to rescue Becky from Esther's house the best he can. He allows Edwin to have a leg of the case with just the two of them, but he tries to frame it as protecting Crystal.

But then it's Edwin's turn to shake up the foundation that their relationship is built on.

Edwin had a lot of issues to attend to this season, and he tried to deal with most of them alone. Most of the problems Edwin had to handle put definite distance between him and Charles- how couldn't they? He was being hit on, which was a very new experience for him. He probably didn't even know how to talk about that at first, as evidenced by his description of the CK speaking closely to his ear (oh sweet summer child). He also learned about his feelings for the first time, which Monty had to finish spelling out for him.

This all, however, is where we see a shift in the dynamic. It's significant.

Edwin uses magic on a cat and has to go and meet with the Cat King. Whoops. 🙃 Charles slides easily into his role as a protector, but… Edwin stops him.

Honestly, Edwin had a good reason to do this. He pointed out that cat scratches can cause serious harm to ghosts, and they were surrounded. As endearing as this was, this wouldn’t have been an easy fight. They can just talk this out, right? He gets whisked away for a few minutes to do that (and then winds up opening a bigger can of worms).

From Charles’ perspective though, Edwin doesn’t allow him to help him, and then vanishes for a long period of time. Then he absolutely won’t tell him anything about it when he does come back. Charles knew Edwin was a little mad at him in the pilot, but they were still communicating for the most part. The secrecy is a shift, and it’s not one he’s coping well with. He tries a few different ways to reconnect.

First he tries gentle. He just asks what happened from a place of concern. This might have worked actually, only I’m not even sure Edwin knows how to fully describe what happened during their encounter. He rushes through a description, and Charles still feels like something is missing. He doesn’t like that someone else has a secret with Edwin— for thirty years they’ve been connected. This feels frightening to him, and Edwin doesn’t seem particularly worried that they’re not on the same page.

He tries to pick the conversation back up later when they’re searching for the dandelion shrine, but Edwin doesn’t give any additional information. So he slides back into his role of being a protector again and defends him against the ambient skeletons, because at least he can protect him from that easily. For a moment, things almost seem normal again, but this resurfaces in a later case.

Edwin meets with CK again in episode 4. Charles is still raw after the events of the Devlin House, and now he’s just pissed. He’s hurting, and Edwin is still keeping this weird secret. They end up bickering back and forth. The bickering tells us something interesting about Charles’ concerns.

Charles: What did he want? He didn't whisk you away again? Got that bracelet off?

Edwin: I'd be back at the office right now if the bracelet was off. He wanted to know if I counted the cats, and my guess was unsatisfactory.

Charles: Thinks he can come and go... He can't show up in the middle of cases. Did you tell him that?

Edwin: Matter of fact, I did.

Charles: Can't believe you didn't tell us. I've had enough of secrets about that wankеr.

Edwin: Why are you getting so angry?

What stands out to me here is Charles is upset about a few things: he hates that Edwin is getting taken away from him by a being they can’t control (a logical fear, considering they’re running from death together). He hates that this is happening in the middle of case time that is supposed to be for him and Edwin (and their friends, who Charles trusts). He is still really upset that Edwin has a secret with someone else (I really don’t think he’d be bothered if the secret was with him).

That’s why he’s upset. Charles isn’t feeling secure. He doesn’t feel like their relationship is on good footing right now. Whether or not he knows how to phrase that or ask for support is a different question.

Onto Monty (sorry these are a bit out of order— I put them by character for this part).

Charles wasn’t aware of Monty. This probably already bothered him a little, considering the mystery surrounding the cat king, but he tried to be a good sport. Monty wasn’t outwardly threatening. He came with gifts. He seemed friendly. Charles tried to match that… only to get snubbed. Ouch.

Charles likes to claim he’s aces with other people, but he ultimately died because his friends turned on him and killed him the second he stood up for what was important to him. I think peer relationships are a particularly sticky situation for him. I think he knew how to fit in the same way he knew how not to rock the boat in a volatile home. With Edwin it was different though— Edwin just liked him. Edwin was special.

But of course yet another boy their age doesn’t like him (probably a little upsetting, considering how he died). The only thing that’s confusing to him here is he didn’t really do anything wrong— he was polite. He followed along with all the little niceties people do, even when they don’t want to. Maybe this wouldn’t have bothered him so much in another situation, but now Edwin is wrapped up with him instead of Charles. He's picked him instead (in Charles' mind).

He can’t even shake this when Monty isn’t there.

Charles tries to get Edwin's attention... and fails. so he begins to have a conversation with himself. Perhaps he was trying to make Edwin laugh. Perhaps he was trying something over the top. Still, he fails. Ultimately, he goes the broken record route and asks him the same question a couple of times.

This moment probably really hurt- there's actually no reason for Edwin to be ignoring him, in Charles' mind anyway. They're alone together. Usually they'd be talking or bantering or at least Charles would be able to get Edwin's attention. It's just that he can't, because now Edwin is stuck on that fucking book from that fucking bloke who blew him off earlier.

This was probably a little activating for Charles. Even if he didn't completely put together why it upset him, Edwin putting someone who just treated him poorly right in front of his face first is a dim reflection of what he went through in his home. Now, I am not saying Monty is anywhere near that level of bad- he's a literal cream puff. He could not kill them when his life depended on it.

What I am saying, though, that Charles perceives a subtle threat here. He's also not sure what to do with it, because he never overcame that hurtle in life. No one else ever put him first, and he never figured out how to fix that. Edwin kind of just centered Charles automatically when they met. Now he's not doing that anymore and it’s jarring and uncomfortable for him. He’s feeling this loss of stability, on top of the fact that Edwin still won’t tell him what’s going on with the CK.

"...try not to forget that we're trying to leave" is what Charles comes up with after that exchange. Edwin makes an attempt to console him finally and offers to talk, but Charles shuts it down and tells him it's that he wants to leave town. They start on a case after that.

(Note that I did this a little out of order for organization’s sake— some of their CK arguing happened during the case they went on next).

Charles does finally catch a break here. In spite of all of this, he’s missing something very important: Edwin has feelings for him. That’s probably the most pressing issue that’s gone unspoken between them.

So Edwin dresses nicely, catches Charles attention, and finally tries to initiate a conversation. Charles seems relieved.

He does assume Edwin is just trying to come out by telling him about his time with Monty, before the teethface incident. Charles isn’t bothered, since Monty isn’t really in the picture anymore as far as he’s concerned. Things are fine, it’s just the two of them again and Edwin likes boys. Wait…

... Fuck. Forgot about the Cat King.

He resorts to threatening the CK. I know lots of people have lots of different theories on this, but consider this perspective also: Monty is no longer a threat. He’s abstract. He’s a memory. The Cat King is still very real and is a thing that can come between them, has done so, and has successfully taken Edwin from him. And as accepting as Charles was trying to be in that moment, he just can't handle that (from the perspective of this meta).

Anyway, this is all interrupted by their foray into hell. Charles does rescue Edwin, Edwin confesses, and honestly I feel like that just needs to be a different thing entirely but I did type a little bit about how I think Charles interpreted all of that here.

They return. Charles is processing Edwin's confession on the roof. This whole scene mystifies me a little because yes, he didn't seem to know exactly what to say to Edwin's confession in hell (I think he did not want to ruin it by saying the wrong thing). The more rewatches I go through the more... satisfied he looks to me? He might be processing, but also he might be a little giddy that Edwin has feelings for him specifically. I'm still trying to figure out how to read this one because the lines seemed rushed but the microexpressions say so much.

Then he starts blatantly flirting with Edwin. Honestly Charles, what the fuck?(afffectionate) Truly I’m still trying to work out if he’s just testing out how Edwin reacts or if he is working through his own feelings here, but I really want more of this in S2.

That’s about all the thoughts I think I can organize on this for now without it getting obscenely long (it already is pretty long for a half baked idea that turned into a meta). Thank you for reading 🖤

[agaypanic]

Hi!! I absolutely LOVE your James Maguire series! We really don’t have enough James love on the internet. Is it ok if I request a James Maguire x reader oneshot set just after the camping trip episode? Where they still go to the caravan and all the teens have to put the beds together and squeeze in one room and no one wants to sleep next to James so reader ends up there and they wake up cuddling? The others probably make fun of them so bad lmao (Maybe like a little extra from the fella series??) 🥺thank you so much if you do, I had this idea and I just couldn’t stop thinking about it. If you don’t write it I understand thank you anyway xxxx

Squished (James Maguire X Quinn!Reader)

Masterlist

Request Something!

Summary: A stolen tent means less room. But the Derry Girls make do.

A/N: I’m gonna be posting this as a stand alone (so not on the fella masterlist), but I’m gonna write it using the stuff from the fella part 5. So this can be read by itself or as like a lil extra thing from the fella

***

It was a long while before the Derry Girls arrived in Portnoo. After hours of being squished in two cars, harboring what was most likely a fugitive, and getting Grandpa Joe’s friend’s second-best tent stolen, seeing the caravan felt like seeing Mother Mary herself. The only thing that stopped Y/n from rolling out of the car the second she spotted it was her baby sister, who had sat in her lap the entire journey.

“Oh, thank fuck.” Michelle almost yelled as everyone poured out of the cars. Erin gave her a remark about her crude language, in front of her family no less, but was ignored. “I’m allowed to be upset, Erin. I just lost the love of my life and was stuck in a car with you and your kookie aunt for God knows how long.”

“You didn’t even know him, Michelle. He was a criminal.”

Y/n handed her sister Anna off to James so she could get out of the car and stretch her stiff limbs. She tried to ignore the sight of James holding Anna because he seemed nervous to hold her but was still trying to entertain her while he waited for Y/n. It was just too cute.

“Okay, I can take her.” Y/n sighed, reaching out for her sister. James looked at her a little funny.

“Are you sure? You held her the entire trip up here; you don’t want a little break?” She supposed he was right, and she’d be lying if she said she didn’t like how he acted with her interest in mind.

“I mean if you don’t mind-”

“Of course not.” James smiled at her, and she would’ve been giddy if Erin and Michelle weren’t there. Anna babbled against James’ shoulder, grasping at his jacket. The two teens smiled at her, talking to each other while Erin eyed them, not that they noticed.

“No wonder Emmett thought she was their wain,” Erin muttered to herself as she grabbed her suitcase out of the car’s boot. She didn’t know whether to be disgusted or happy for her sister and the fact that she fancied their English friend.

***

“Jesus, it’s cramped in here.” Michelle groaned as she squeezed past the girls to throw her bag somewhere in the caravan the Quinn family had rented. They only rented one; they didn’t expect Erin and Y/n’s friends to accompany them on their annual holiday. Grandpa Joe, Gerry, and James were going to sleep in the tent that Joe’s friend had lent them, but those plans had gone south. But Joe insisted that they should still sleep outside.

“We’re men, aren’t we?” He had said. “We don’t need no damn tent.”

But one look at James, and the girls knew that wouldn’t work out well. He was already nervous around Joe and Gerry, mainly Joe, especially because he was the one who allowed Emmett to steal their tent. But living outdoors with them for who knows how long? No thanks.

The adults had gone to a close-by shop that sold camping gear to get another tent for them to sleep in. Grandpa Joe almost had a heart attack when the girls suggested that James sleep in the caravan with them, but then Mary calmed him down by saying that the girls would be fine because James was gay.

James was getting sick of correcting this assumption. But he didn’t want to sleep in a tent with the adults, so he let it slide.

“Okay, how are we doing this?” Y/n asked, looking at the somewhat cramped space. The girls’ things were either thrown somewhere in the caravan or clutched closely to try to create more room. Everyone looked around. “I know there’s a bed at the end.”

“I call it!” Michelle yelled, pushing past everyone to sit on the bed before anyone else could claim it. She looked smug, probably thinking that she wouldn’t have to share with anyone else.

“Fine.” Y/n sighed, moving Anna to her other hip. She was charged with looking after her while the adults were gone. James was going to offer to carry her, but then decided to take their luggage. “But you have to room with someone else in that bed.”

“What the fuck, Y/n?!” Michelle snarled.

“Look around you, Michelle.” James defended. “There’s six of us in here.” Michelle rolled her eyes at her cousin. Huffing in annoyance, she looked at everyone in the caravan.

“Fine. Clare, you’re with me, yeah?”

“Two down, four to go,” Y/n muttered, looking around. “There’s the two seats in the front, and then the sofa could probably fit two.”

“I’ll take the sofa.” James volunteered, moving to set his bag on it, but still holding Y/n’s for when she decided where to sleep. Erin smirked.

“Orla and I call the seats!” Y/n would’ve glared at Erin if she wasn’t in a room with James and Michelle. She had a sneaking suspicion of what Erin was planning. 

“Is that okay with you, Y/n?” James asked. He was still holding her bag, in case she had reservations about sharing a sleeping space with him and wanted to switch with someone else. 

“Yeah.” Y/n nodded, watching James smile as he dropped her bag next to his. “Fine with me, James.”

“Aye, James, it must be exciting to finally have a girl in your bed.”

“Shut up, Michelle!”

***

It was late at night when the girls finally decided to go to bed. They had spent most of their time talking about this and that or playing games. Everyone bid each other good night and went to their sleeping areas.

“So, how should we do this?” James asked Y/n quietly. Their gazes kept going between the sofa and each other, trying to figure out what to do. “I can sleep on the floor if you’d like. I’m fine with it.”

“No, James. Don’t be silly.” Y/n bit her lip, trying to figure out how to fit the two of them in this tiny space. “We could lay on our sides.”

It became awkward very fast. The two faced each other, noses almost bumping. They were stiff, trying not to disturb the other. Y/n tried to fix this by turning around so they wouldn’t face each other. She must’ve forgotten how small the sofa was because James reached an arm out to stop her from falling to the floor.

“Careful,” James said, arm wrapped around her waist to pull her further from the edge. Y/n couldn’t ignore the butterflies in her stomach, somewhat surprised that James had the strength to pull her. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” She replied meekly, grateful it was dark so James wouldn’t see the blush on her cheeks even though he was so close to her.

“Want me to let go?” His grip loosened slightly, but she caught his hand before it could leave her.

“No!” Y/n cringed at how loud she was. “I mean, uh, if you don’t mind.” James’ arm settled around her.

“Of course not.” He adjusted himself slightly before letting out a deep sigh. “Good night, Y/n.”

“Good night, James.”

***

“Why is he all over her like that?” Michelle grimaced, joining the crowd of her friends. They all stood before the small sofa, looking down at a sleeping Y/n and James. In his sleep, James had wrapped both arms around Y/n and kept her close to his chest. She didn’t seem to mind, holding her hands on his to prevent him from moving. “Fucking disgusting.”

“Quiet, Michelle,” Clare whispered as Y/n stirred. When she stopped her movements, the group let out a breath of relief they didn’t realize they were holding. “You know what we should do?” Seeming to read her mind, Erin slipped her shoes on.

“I’ll go get Mammy’s camera.”

[genericpuff]

Okay, what was up with the "I'm with stupid" SpongeBob episode?

is this like a rhetorical question or are you asking for me to actually get into it lol because i absolutely will, here we go-

CW: discussions of ableism

honestly it's just one of those season 1-3 episodes that hasn't aged as well as all the others. like so much of seasons 1-3 are bangers, they often still hold up really well 20 years later and even the 'weaker' episodes are still solid and someone's favorite that they will fight to the death to defend

but the "I'm With Stupid" episode is genuinely the tarnish on that record because it's just. mean-spirited torturing and gaslighting of spongebob the whole way through. it's both foreshadowing of the declining quality of Spongebob that , at the time, we didn't know was coming (we know now) and foreshadowing of Patrick's character being devolved into the "big mean and dumb bully" archetype that comes around S4-5.

like for anyone who hasn't watched this episode or doesn't remember it, it's the one where patrick's parents are visiting and he's stressing out because his parents always treat him like an idiot (and we do know patrick isn't characterized as being "conventionally intelligent", but he's still a great guy throughout the first 3 seasons, he loves his friends, is the ultimate chill guy, and really he's just total ND vibes for anyone who remembers being that "not conventionally intelligent" kid growing up so I can def 100% understand the premise of this episode as someone who was that kid lmao)

and spongebob offers to help his friend out by sigh pretending to be stupid to make patrick look smarter by comparison

and i'm sure you can see where i'm going with this when i say this episode hasn't aged well

like it immediately starts on the wrong foot with the whole premise of spongebob playing the "protective helmet dummy" act which is just a cruel stereotype of disabled and neurodivergent individuals.

but then as it goes on, patrick basically weaponizes spongebob's idea against him by actually being mean to him the same way his own parents would (and yes his "parents" are cruel right out the gate to patrick, but then immediately shift focus to spongebob as the target once he arrives and puts on the "dumb person" act.)

is this resolved in any actually meaningful way? maybe something like the Squirrel Jokes episode where Spongebob gets rightfully called out by Sandy for making stereotypical jokes about squirrels which is a metaphor for jokes that punch down on girls/minorities/etc.?

nope, not at all. spongebob eventually gets so (rightfully) fed up with the bullying that he decides he's not gonna go along with it anymore esp when he offered to do this to help his FRIEND and that's now clearly being taken advantage of at his own expense. So he approaches the parents as his 'normal' self (ugh sorry i just hate using that word in this context) where he explains that he's not actually an 'idiot', he can do math and even knows how to do his own laundry (sigh, again, incredibly ableist). and how do patrick and his "parents" respond? oh right, they gaslight him and escalate the bullying. the parents don't believe that spongebob was putting on an act and just assume patrick "taught" him how to say the things he's saying to defend himself. which i don't even have to explain is just another level of mean-spirited because this is an ACTUAL THING that happens to neurodivergent / disabled children, their needs aren't taken seriously by the adults around them and because they're often seen as purely the stereotypes of their disabilities, they're talked down to and mistreated just because they don't function the same way that neurotypicals do in a society that's designed for neurotypicals.

anyways, spongebob is literally driven into a meltdown by the parents and patrick gaslighting him, and he runs home crying. that is the last that we see of him in the episode.

and then the "parents" happen to say their names out loud to each other and that's when patrick realizes they're... not his real parents. and the parents go "oh duh, that's right, we don't have a son!"

and that's it. that's the resolution to the episode. there is no moral, it tries to "get back" at patrick and his shitty fake parents by being like "haha see! they're stupid!!" but it just ??? doesn't at all make up for the 10 minutes of manipulating and abusing and gaslighting spongebob???

like up until this point in the show, the one who's usually on the end of the abuse is Squidward, sometimes Mr. Krabs, but both of them are often at the end of some kind of physical comedy as karma. Mr. Krabs is a scummy greedy capitalist, so of course anything that happens to him after he's done something awful is karmic justice in the form of an anti-capitalist metaphor that's funny for children and satisfying for the adults re-watching Squid on Strike who go, "OMG Mr. Krabs is unfair!" Of course because it's a serialized kid's show, it does have to go back to the status quo at the end of each episode so nothing can really come of Squidward dismantling oppression board by board (Spongebob is literally us when we were 6 btw, "Gee, IDK what Squidward's talking about, but he sure sounds convincing" which is just genius writing lol), but even episodes like Squid on Strike and Selling Out have incredibly timeless and STILL APPLICABLE MESSAGES about late stage capitalism and the death of small businesses under the weight of massive, predatory corporations that, if anything, have only aged BETTER over time because now the 6 year olds who watched that back in the 2000's are adults and living the reality that Squidward was living in.

and then ofc when it comes to Squidward, well, it's usually also karma after he took things too far in his cynical opposition to Spongebob's childhood wonder. In a lot of ways, Squidward is simultaneously an empathetic reflection of the adults who have had to survive under the oppression of capitalism, many of them giving up their hopes and dreams to do so; but also a grim reminder that if we're not careful and don't appreciate the little things that bring us joy, we too can become jaded and oppressive to the next generation.

there's a lot in the older Spongebob episodes that's a lot more counter-culture than people give it credit for (unsurprising though considering Stephen Hillenburg himself was a Gen X'er and many shows pioneered by Gen X'ers throughout the 80's and 90's were writing from a comically cynical point of view, like they hated capitalism and the boomers too, this shit runs deep LOL) making it a way more progressive show than many people give it credit for because on the surface, it's just that dumb kids show with the annoying laughing sponge.

nothing about I'm with Stupid is counter-culture or fighting for the "little guys" like so many other episodes do. whether it was a blind spot on Hillenburg's end or another writer on the staff who was severely misinformed, the entire episode shows its age in the most exhausting, uncomfortable, ableist way, by stringing together 11 excruciating minutes of gaslighting and manipulating a normally positive and endearing character who was just trying to help their friend, with no closure or apology towards said character, and no resolution or message in the end about how treating people differently based on their perceived intelligence is wrong and cruel. I feel like somewhere under all the mean-spirited attempts at "jokes", there was some fringe message about how right-wing assholes will look for lesser targets to "punch down on" or use manipulation tactics to make their victims appear weak by poking them in all the right places, but it's lost in the mishandling of the episode's overall structure where it spends the majority of time playing into disability / neurodivergent stereotypes for comedy, bullying a character who did nothing wrong, and then hastily resolves itself by leaving the message at "welp, at least Spongebob isn't as stupid as Patrick and his parents!"

this turned into a longer and more introspective post than I had planned, but man, I was genuinely shocked when I rewatched that episode for the first time in ages and realized it had come out during the seasons 1-3 era which has, y'know, the episodes that are still the most popular to this day 20 years later and contain the majority of every Spongebob meme template out there (of which there are a LOT).

Like I swear to god I always remembered this episode being part of the sort-of-later era, like shortly after the movie came out but before it became entirely mean-spirited in its comedy post-Hillenburg. But nope, I'm With Stupid accompanies Procrastination, one of my own personal favorite episodes from that era because it perfectly encapsulates the ADHD experience, both of which aired in 2001, three years before the Spongebob movie which is when most people agree that Spongebob 'peaked'.

I was just so stunned by that because most episodes of that seasons 1-3 era are generally so positive and equalizing between the varied characters, and when that balance is thrown off, it's usually for the sake of sending a message about being kind and accepting to one another. Shit, Sandy is someone whose entire characterization revolves around her being conventionally intelligent, she literally built a rocketship to fly to the moon, and yet in the very first episode where she meets Spongebob, as soon as she finds out Spongebob couldn't breathe without water, she doesn't make fun of him, she doesn't chastise him for lying to her, she simply accommodates him and Patrick by giving them fishbowls to wear on their heads whenever they want to visit her in her home, which we always see them wearing in subsequent episodes when they go to visit her (at worst she says "you could have asked" in response to their need for water, but in her defense, they gave her the impression they knew what air was and it does make a point about how we need to all play our role in both sides of the conversation so people can express their needs without feeling like a "nuisance"); and we always see her going out and interacting with her friends in Bikini Bottom in her suit, which people don't make fun of her for, until at the earliest the Squirrel Jokes episode which, again, see above, her getting made fun of by Spongebob and everyone in town is meant to serve as a message not to pick on people for their differences.

And no , I'm not saying all this as some nostalgic Spongebob fan, I'm saying this as someone who both watched the shit out of Spongebob as a kid AND as an adult, who regularly rewatches their favorite episodes from the earlier era of the show, has almost all of those season 1-3 episodes memorized line for line (even the ones I don't watch as often anymore), and is currently doing a binge watch of every episode from S1-3. I hadn't watched I'm with Stupid in a long time. Maybe that was for a good reason 😒💀

[danikamariewrites]

I’m in such a mood for some good old corruption😈 Would it be okay to request something with Eris x reader where reader was very shielded and never experienced normal things, like sleepovers, gossip w friends, and doesn’t get insinuations. She’s maybe eating something with cream and she’s licking stuff and it turns him on but she doesn’t understand why. Like she’s so naive/innocent and he just wants to corrupt her. People want the same and she gets hit on a lot, she unintentionally flirt back and think they’re having a normal conversation. So Eris protects her from it bc only he is allowed to bask in her innocence 👀 maybe he even takes her virginity 👀👀

idk why im like this tbh. Im just horny i guess…

Corrupt

Eris x reader

A/n: he would have a corruption kink lmao

Warnings: Dom/sub dynamics, corruption kink, suggestive

You’re younger than Eris by 100 years and you’re also the only girl in your family

Your family is high nobility in the Autumn Court so you have been heavily protected all your life

When the bond snapped for you and Eris it was at an Autumn Equinox ball

Eris was overjoyed that his little mate is so innocent

He couldn’t wait to show you everything around the court, in the bedroom, and about relationships in general

Eris took a risk and told his father who thought the match was perfect because Beron could get something out of it

The next day your family was called to the forest house. You were nervous because your parents wouldn’t tell you what was going on but focused on making sure you looked beautiful

Entering the throne room and seeing Eris you knew this meeting was about the mating bond. Eris could feel your nerves so he sent a wave of calm down the bond. You rest your hand on your chest giving him a shy smile

Once the adults were finished talking Eris came up to you, taking your hand and kissing your knuckles as he stared at you with those molten amber eyes

You have never been in a relationship before and you had dreamed of a mate since your mother told you about the concept when you were a little girl

“Would you accompany on a walk around the gardens little fox?” You nodded enthusiastically. Your mother cleared her throat giving you a look that said ‘use your words’. “Yes, I’d love to.” You curtsy. Eris offers you his arm and leads you outside

Eris wanted time with you before the mating ceremony to get to know you better instead of just watching you from afar at parties and balls

Stopping at a bench in the gardens Eris guides you to sit as he picks a rose for you. You tell him how you e been sheltered your whole life, you never were really allowed to hangout with your friends past curfew unless it was for court and if you were with a male one of your brothers had to be with you

It drove Eris wild to know that he was the first male you’d ever been alone with

Knowing that he would be the one to corrupt your innocence made his cock hard

Eris didn’t want to rush you of course. Everything he plans on doing needs time and he didn’t want to scare you off

So he took his time courting you properly. Eris takes you on dates, spends time with you when he’s free from work, you eat meals together

On one of your picnics Eris had packed your favorite snacks, on being strawberries. He didn’t think watching you eat the fruit would be so seductive

He watched as you wrapped your perfect pink lips around the berry. As you bit into it and sucked the juice from it Eris had to adjust himself so you wouldn’t spot his arousal. You could smell him and your cheeks flushed

“Did I do something wrong?” “No little fox, come here.” You shuffled toward him as he reached his arms out to pull you onto his lap. “Do you want another little fox?” You smiled and let out a small ‘uh-huh’. He grabs another strawberry from the basket and holds it up to your lips. You reach out to take it but he clicks his tongue at you. You look at him a little confused until he brings it to your mouth again. You relax against him as he feeds you

You also accidentally on purpose lick his fingers which does not help his situation

That afternoon Eris’s first lesson was focused on your lips. you two made out for what felt like hours. You never wanted to leave his embrace or his warm plush lips. From then on you would steal him away for kisses or make out with him in his office so no one would see you

You even moved into your own living quarters at the Forest House so you could be close to each other

One night you were reading in Eris’s living room while he worked late. You usually leave by 10 pm since you’ve never stayed the night with Eris or anyone. You fell asleep with your book on your chest, your even breathes catching Eris’s attention

He took your book, marking your spot. Eris kisses your forehead and your eyes flutter open. Realizing what happened you sit up a blush during your cheeks. “Sorry Eris, I’ll leave-“ Eris cut you off by holding your chin between his fingers.

“Hey, it’s ok. You can stay tonight if you want.” You played with the ends of your hair as you thought. “Yes please.” Eris smiled and picked you up bridal style carrying you to bed where you snuggled all night

One of the things Eris adores about you is your clueless demeanor and your curiosity about everything. When he teaches you things (😏) you get all blushy and try to hide from him

Eris does everything for you. He never wants you to have a need that isn’t met

There was a ball to celebrate your mating ceremony/wedding days before the actual party and you stayed attached to Eris the whole night

The one time he left you to get you a new drink you got hit on. You had no idea the male was flirting with you, you thought he was just being nice

Eris rushed back to your side pulling you into his side as he gave the male a death stare. A low growl sounding from his throat. The male couldn’t get away fast enough. “Eris he was just being nice.” He shook his head watching the male weave through the crowd. “No baby. And he needs to know your mine.”

After the wedding party you and Eris go to his cabin in the woods. You wanted to give him his food in private because he wants you all to himself. Plus it was what you were comfortable with

When he finishes his food Eris looks at you, his eyes blown wide with lust. He grips the table as you get closer to him until your on his lap

You run your hands through his hair and he takes in a shuddering breath. “Are you ready little fox? Are you sure you want to do this tonight?” “I wouldn’t have given you the food if I didn’t want to. And you’ve taught me enough my love.”

Eris quickly brought you to the bedroom placing you down gently in the middle. You pulled Eris by his hair to kiss you hard. Wrapping your legs around his waist you rubbed your core against his hardening cock. He moans out in surprise. Pulling away from you panting Eris looks at you with a feral grin. “Where did you learn that little fox?” You give him a shy smile, “My books were a little more than romance.”

Eris kissed you again mumbling ‘I love you’ as you started to make the mating bond official

[crazylittlejester]

I'd absolutely love to hear what you have to say about Time 🙃 /gen

And, I hope you are feeling well. I think you said you were dizzy? I hope that gets better 🫶

I’m feeling much better, thank you!! I hope you’re going good as well :)

Sorry this took me a whole day to type out, but I finished!! I got it!!

I have a lot more thoughts, I had to cut a lot for the sake of making it readable and not obnoxiously long so I really hope I still get my points across well 😭 , but here we go:

An Abridged Version of My Thoughts on Time (I’m Insane I’m Sorry):

Okay so I’m starting off this whole thing by saying that 100% of this is my opinion and the research I did was done specifically to back my stance (which does not make it canonical fact. You can do research to back any point. You can do research to argue against my point, even). This doesn’t make my perspective or interpretation of a character the correct one by any means, and this definitely leans towards how I personally characterize and view him and is biased in that way because I’m the one who wrote it. All of you are entitled to your own opinions, you don’t have to agree with or listen to a single thing I say. In fact if you do disagree I encourage you to reblog and share your OWN thoughts so I can read YOUR perspective! I like seeing opinions people have and I love to see how differently all of us can view the same character /gen. I just that ask if you do do this, that you be kind and respectful to myself and others :)

This entire yap, analysis, whatever you wanna call it, is my perspective on Time and my thoughts behind why I believe he acts the way he does. At some point in all this I’m specifically going to focus on how he’s acting at the end of the Dawn arc and in the more recent updates. However in order to talk about that I wanna go to the beginning and talk about his past, the environment he grew up in, his relationships with others, and how I believe that has shaped the way he functions as an adult. My apologies now for being insane, unfortunately I have no life and also a lot of thoughts, and full access to a college library full of case studies- My professors would be so proud… Hope y’all enjoy lmao

Loneliness and Isolation:

One of the first things I noticed when I started playing OOT was this divide between Link and the Kokiri. Despite the fact that none of them know he’s actually a hylian, the bullying and teasing and the way they treat him for not having a fairy feels as though they’re making him to be different from them. Even Saria and the Great Deku Tree speak to/about him in ways that make it seem that, even though they care about him, they do see him as different from the others. (Granted, Saria’s treatment of Link is likely fully an unintentional thing. She doesn’t mean to be cruel when she makes her comment about how after Link got his fairy he could be a real Kokiri because she is a child and probably didn’t think about how that would come off to a kid who’s been arguably treated as less than for not having a fairy this entire time. She’s probably aware of how upset he’s been, but they’re children and I doubt she realized her attempt at comfort potentially made Time feel worse. The Great Deku Tree, on the other hand, referring to him as ‘the boy without a fairy’ immediately makes it clear to us as the player that Link is different from the Kokiri. He knows Link is hylian, which is something the player, Link, and the Kokiri do not know at this point)

Not having a fairy like the others certainly separates Time from the Kokiri because having a fairy companion appears to be a huge deal, something everyone has in common except for him. While it isn’t really on the same scale, I imagine this feeling of not having something your friends do could be, to an extent, comparable to how it would feel if all your peers had cell phones or social media access and you did not. (BAD EXAMPLE I KNOW BUT HEAR ME OUT.) The ability to consume media at such a fast pace and share jokes and trends with peers has become something to bond over, and being outside of that ‘world’ would leave someone to feel like they’re missing out on something they couldn’t possibly understand unless they get it for themselves. When your friends all have phones and you don’t, you have to sit there awkwardly when they all pull them out to text people or look things up, even if you’re doing something that doesn’t even require being on your phone, like going to the mall or hanging out. Sure they might show you a meme or two, but you can’t show them your memes, or share things and exist in the online world the way they do. Time could see and interact with the others’ fairies but he didn’t have that for himself, and I imagine it was probably hard for him to bond with the Kokiri because of it. Even if they were just playing a game or messing around and he wasn’t even being teased for not having a fairy of his own, those other fairies were right there as a constant reminder that Time didn’t have his own companion because he was, for a reason he couldn’t understand, different

Having played Skyward Sword and the beginning of Twilight Princess and seeing how both of those Links are treated by the people around them in comparison to how the Kokiri interact with Time, it feels safe to say there’s a good possibility he felt out of place and a little isolated by his own community. The way he was seemingly blamed for the death of the Great Deku Tree after finding out the life altering information that he is different probably did nothing but cause further divide between himself and the Kokiri in his mind, if not completely sever the connection he had between himself and that community

Do I think the Kokiri completely excluded him and intentionally tried to isolate him? No, I do not. However it’s clear that Saria was his best friend and the others weren’t always the nicest to him. It’s not too far a stretch to say he probably felt very lonely at times in his childhood, more so than the average kid

The theme of isolation and loneliness continues when the timeline shenanigans happen at the end of OOT and Time is now the only one who knows what happened to him. He has absolutely nothing to show for what he physically just went through and he can tell people about it all he wants but they’ll never understand because for them it simply never happened. Once again Time is isolated from this community he finds himself a part of because he’s different from them in a way they cannot relate to, driving a wedge between him and the rest of society. And Malon and Zelda are not people who would intentionally drive him further from feeling like he can belong, but they will forever be different from him in a way none of them now have the power to control. He formed relationships with them and with other people that were then erased. He knows a version of them that doesn’t exist anymore (in the timeline he continued to live in), and he’s alone in that. There IS no fix to that problem

Attachment Styles and Development

Relationships are crucial to child development and the connections formed when we’re young impact the way we create and view our relationships in adulthood. Peer relationships are just as important as parental ones because they play a different role. While your friends are the ones who have more of an impact on things like your music tastes, interests, and sense of identity/role within your group of peers, it’s your parents/caregivers who teach you right from wrong (often religion plays a part in that as well though not always), are responsible for feeding you and helping you learn new skills as a young child. Having a secure attachment and good relationship to caregivers when you’re young really impacts how you seek comfort as an adult and how you form relationships with others. Children whose parents or caregivers responded to their distress in unpredictable ways (by offering comfort sometimes and being unable to other at times, for an example) are less likely to seek out those figures for comfort or be soothed by them when the comfort is offered. I have no idea exactly how old Time was when he was placed with the Kokiri or what his mother was like, but I feel it’s fair to say the Great Deku Tree was probably the closest thing to a parental figure/caregiver (while he was living with the Kokiri) that he has any memory of. And I also feel it’s fair to say that as the stationary tree guardian of a bunch of immortal children, it was pretty impossible for him to support all of those kids’ emotional needs

Making this assumption based solely on Navi’s role in the story and what she does for us as players of the game: I feel like the fairy companions might almost be more of a parental/caregiver like figure to the Kokiri children than the Great Deku Tree is, simply because they’re able to be around them more. Navi helps Time (and the player) find things, gives clues, and helps the player with the game controls, so inside the actual game I think it’d be fair to say she (and other fairies) have more of a hands on role in guiding these children than the Great Deku Tree. And again, Time didn’t have that, not until his adventure started. He didn’t have a fairy companion while his friends and peers did, he was on his own. He wasn’t getting that potential comfort from a reliable caregiver the others were, which I believe can be partly responsible for how determined he is to solve his own issues. (Of course personality also has a play in things like this, and as we all know the hero’s spirit is incredibly fucking stubborn.) He was taught through the failures of the ‘adult’ figures in his life that the only one who’d be there to really comfort him was him

Identity and Relationships

Apart from feeling alone and not having the same types of companionship his peers did, I firmly believe Time seriously struggled with identity issues as well. Being told he wasn’t enough for the Master Sword yet, just to then be suddenly physically several years older and expected to operate as an adult despite having less than a decade of life experience, back to being shoved into the body of a child after living through horrors and accumulating scars that are now just gone doesn’t real make for the most confident, mentally stable of people. The message he most likely took from that was “You’re not enough as you are.”

He was a hero who saved a kingdom, then forgotten when everything was set back, and then abandoned by the one person (fairy) who went through it all with him after it was all done. If he’d felt alone or isolated in his youth before all that happened, I can’t imagine how overwhelming all those emotions were after all that. He needed Navi because she’s the only one who can really validate what he went through, she was the only one who could have understood him. She was a guardian and a friend and he couldn’t figure out why she left him, which must’ve just been absolutely devastating.

He was still just a kid, with no one to talk to about these issues. (Though he sort of works through some of them on his own through helping others in Majora’s Mask. Granted that left him with new issues even if it may have helped him work through a few old ones. I think there are quite a lot of similarities between Link and Skull Kid, but that’s a yap for another day.) I can imagine that both his identity and what he was supposed to do with himself were things he questioned constantly, and building relationships with people was probably very difficult for him when he hadn’t fully worked out himself. And he didn’t really have someone to comfort him or help him figure all that out

At a certain point, I think the feeling of being alone became almost a comfort to him. It was the most reliable thing he had, he could handle things on his own and that was something he knew for fact. He learned how to deal with his emotions and issues (maybe not in the healthiest of ways in his youth), and instead of being so suffocating, the isolation became something he could CONTROL. With all the instability throughout his childhood, the fact that he could reliably be on his own without dealing with the unpredictability of others was probably a relief. He didn’t have to worry about people leaving or getting hurt because he couldn’t protect them, but that didn’t really replace the feeling of loneliness so much as sloppily cover it up

Malon and the ranch are things that have been able to give him something he hadn’t had in years, which was stability and companionship. He’s been alone and isolated or dealing with loss his entire life, but she’s able to provide him with something steady, something safe to come back to. That’s been absolutely huge for him in regards to the healing process, because not only is it said in LU that she believes him completely, she’s literally his biggest supporter. And having a sturdy location and person to come back to at the end of whatever little trips he probably continued to go off to gave him comfort while still allowing him to keep that feeling of control over himself and his life. Sure not everything is perfect all the time and relationships are things that you have to put time, effort, and patience into, but he’s allowed to have his support and his much needed feeling of control over his life at the same time while living in that scenario. She loves him, she loves him very much and I have no doubt they worked together to get him to the place of comfort he’s at now. The panels from any of the ‘Malon’ posts are really the most relaxed we’ve seen Time for long stretches of time, it’s clear he’s been able to make a safe space for himself there

And now here’s the part where I actually talk about the recent comic update(s)!!!!!!!! (Yippee!!!)

Time is a very quiet, stoic character in LU especially when compared to the others, which are qualities that pull a lot from the hero’s shade. He’s the unofficial official leader, and he’s at a point in his life where he’s been able to work on himself and form healthy relationships (not perfect ones, but healthy ones built on communication which is clearly a struggle for him still but I cannot afford to get into that this post because that’s way too much. If y’all want a yap about that, ask me later). He puts a lot of stress and pressure onto himself, because he feels as though he’s responsible for these younger heroes, even though some of them have far more experience than he does

But in addition to this, he’s absolutely terrified of caring about people, and he’s not used to working with other people in this area of his life. Because no one sticks around, and if they do, what’s stopping the timeline from resetting somehow and taking their memory of him away? He no longer has the stability and comfort that comes with being alone because he’s forced to work with other people, other heroes who are equal to him in that regard, and people are unpredictable. And with unpredictability comes loss of control

Anger is an easier emotion for a child to process, and express themself through. This is why depression in children often manifests itself as anger. Children dealing with depression have a harder time managing and controlling their anger and can come off as snappier, inattentive, and reckless (obviously this is not the same case for every single child). While he certainly isn’t a child anymore in LU, I think Time is still someone who when overwhelmed is quick to anger, but this does not mean that he’s not kind. He’s incredibly kind and caring, and you can tell he loves everyone around him so deeply even though he’s probably a bit angry at himself for letting them all worm their way into his heart because he’s going to have to let them go some day. But still, some of that snappiness comes through even in his adult years and he’s a lot harsher with the others than I believe he intends to be. He’s not genuinely angry at them, he’s mad at the situation they’re in right now because he’s no longer responsible for just himself. He doesn’t have control anymore, and he’s probably back to feeling like a scared child who might be about to lose everyone again and he hates that

Twilight got hurt and he blames himself for it. He’s in an unfamiliar situation with people he cares a lot about who are all just as reckless and determined as he is, and he has absolutely no idea what to do with himself because in his mind if he lets something happen to one of these boys, that’s on him and he should’ve done better

Ough (A Continuation of ‘Isolation’)

In a way Time exists on a different level of the timeline. He retained memories of things that no longer exist, and he’s witnessed the rewritting of time over and over again. The timeline he was born in may no longer be the one he exists in, though it certainly branched from that original one. He has knowledge and memories of relationships that are real to only him in the timeline where he lives, and I would argue that because of this, he lives outside of society

Now this genuinely has nothing to do with anything I just wanna yap about something because The Voices, and it’s gonna be a fucking reach but if you’ve stayed this long you must find something appealing about my incoherent rambling so allow me to draw a genuinely insane comparison between Time and his existence in society and ‘The Lady of Shallot’, written in 1832 by a poet by the name of Alfred Tennyson. If you have no idea what this is, it’s incredibly short and easy to find with a quick google search, and I encourage you to read it. But for those of you who didn’t sign up for a poetry assignment today I’ll summarize

The Lady of Shallot is cursed to stay in a tower away from the rest of society and she’s unable to look upon Camelot with her own eyes, because something bad will happen if she does though she has no idea what. Day after day she creates these tapestries of what she sees of the society behind her through a mirror. She’s unable to look at it with her own eyes so what she creates is unable to perfectly reflect what it is the world has to offer. And she’s absolutely sick of it, she sees happy people wandering down below, knights riding through, she sees through her mirror what life is like for those within society and she wants to join them. She sees a beautiful man one day (Lancelot) and decides the curse is worth it, just for a chance to leave her tower, so she turns around and sees Camelot with her own eyes. She leaves her tower and goes to join society but by the time she gets there she’s dead

Now one of the meanings hidden within this is how artists are almost outside of society and that is how they are able to so accurately depict it, and that joining society and being ‘normal’ would make them unable to keep their unique perspective that isolation provides. But I’m going to be crazy here and draw parallels to a video game character because I CAN

Time exists outside of society and is isolated from every community he tries to be a part of because the differences between him and the Kokiri/normal hylian are so significant he feels like he doesn’t belong there. Despite having built his sense of identity back up, he still, to an extent, feels like an outsider. The things he’s been through separate him from being able to just be a normal guy, and he craves so badly to be part of a community he��s almost convinced himself he CANNOT join. The chain (and Malon, but mainly the other heroes) help him have something to connect to, because while they may not have the exact same experience they understand him more than anyone else ever could. He then tries to join society, something happens, and he dies a warrior full of regrets

Is it a reach? Yeah. But I like the poem and I can’t stop thinking about the parallels (that I’ve probably completely fucking made up at this point) every time I think too long about Time and it makes me claw at the dry wall and scream. I’m so normal…

Anyways, *weak cough* thanks for reading, if you did. It means a lot that you’ve supported my insanity. I hope this is coherent-

Thanks Emmie for reading through this for me 😭, and special shoutout to every single one of you who sent me asks yesterday to remind me to write this I love you all sm actually:

@trash-aged-like-fine-wine @rebornofstars @blueskybehindtheclouds @captainn-hook @ghosttoasts

[zimtlees]

HI !! I know I've said it a million times already but I love your art so much you're genuinely so talented 😭, I still feel so lucky you drew smth for me :)) and it gives me more inspiration for my art 🙏🙏 My obsession with adult Orel and Moral Orel came back once I came across you WOOHOOOHDJDJERRN And I was wondering, and I don't know if you already have but, if you would share more of your headcanons about him, his family, the immoral orel au, ANYTHING !!!1! I LOVE YOU AND YOUR HCS !!! I'm very invested... (y también pensé que nunca conocería a alguien que estuviera tan loco por él como yo, así que me siento mejor por eso) We've been blessed with everything you make and I get so happy every time you post :DDD and you're genuinely a very kind person so I hope you have a great rest of your day 🙏🙏❤❤ (and sorry for this long ass paragraph ask HRJHRHRBBR)

OREL HC????? Okay, first I'll say the hc I have (all silly, nothing serious?) and then I get cheesy...uh

Right, first let's start with uhhhh a silly headcanon I have is that when he was younger he wanted to be like Reverend Putty...for his great service to God and all that uh. Then when he grew up he'd want to study to be a doctor...it's a good profession for him (I know I explained this in a post a few months ago), he likes to help people, and he'd definitely give his patients loads of attention without being as negligent as the doctor in Moralton lmao. (I should do a whole post about this as I actually have a lot to say about his career path)

I'm a firm believer that at some point he continued to smoke weed...maybe in his teens?? He'd know it was wrong, but it helped him to zone out, so it was fun, plus he'd definitely hang out with people who smoked too, and Orel is...very easily influenced.

Definitely in school he'd be smart, but also REALLY DISTRACTED...and goofy, I'm pretty sure hardly any girls would be interested in him. (Maybe he also became a bit weird), he's bad at picking up hints and reading people's body language... so everyone would have to be REALLY direct if they wanted to talk to him about anything. (Aahh he'd probably have to move outta Moralton to study for a serious doctor career...then he'd have to adapt to new people...bad boys)

He'd probably only start officially dating Christina when they were both legal...and she had the freedom to leave her house whenever she wanted!!! Happy ending.

CHRISTINA IS SADISTIC-

...I didn't say anything, but if Orel is a masochist and Christina's an 'alternative' version of him then uh, I don't want to think about what would have happened in her chapter...

In his teens he'd really enjoy grunge and soft rock...uhgg I dunno, I just feel it. (Even though he's not that into music)

He's a goofy..nice...overprotective.....VERY overprotective dad, and that'd cause problems with his kids when they hit their teens...stupid (I love him) Orel..aahg, I mean, aahhh I also think he'd do loads of things that embarrass his kids!! But without realising lmao, he'd be like...trying to talk like them? That 'teen language' as he calls it haha.

IN HIS TEENS A LOT HAPPENED - UGH, not just between him and his parents...I mean also with his 'friends', even if he stopped being (just a bit) innocent, loads of people would definitely manipulate him into doing anything.

I don't think Clay and Bloberta ever divorced lmao, feel like they just stayed together and miserable...just like in that pic Orel has in his living room (Plus, I love that pic, it proves Orel doesn't hide his parents, he loves them despite everything and he'd definitely tell his kids to love them...wwgggh)

You know what I'm pretty sure about? Doughy and Orel got into a fight and came to blows in their teens, what caused it? Probably Doughy, in loads of episodes he looked like he was betraying his best mate for attention and affection from an adult...(but ugh, don't judge, it's written so well and we know why he did all that, even though that doesn't mean it was right, yeah, plus...there's no guarantee he changed after that, if we think about it Doughy had NO ONE, to teach him right from wrong), at some point he'd do a 'silly betrayal', to Orel...that'd make him SO ANGRY (cos it's not the first time) that mixed with a strong IMPULSE LMAO, he'd punch him, then he'd punch him back...and well, it'd all end with forgiveness and Doughy learning something.

And that's just a part of what I have cos I wrote a lot lmao...

[gunnrblze]

My headcannons for what I think the Ghost boys would be like at the beach/if they’d like it lol (cause I may or may not be on vacation)

Hesh: The Walkers are canonically from California, so they are definitely beach boys and have that vibe down lol. Hesh and Logan grew up going to the beach/piers/boardwalks/etc. I think Hesh definitely likes to swim/wade in the waves, probably played ‘mermaids’ as a kid with Logan but never called it that (Logan absolutely did lol). I can see him, Logan, and Elias having had a lot of little family trips there, with Miss Mama Walker too. Definitely likes to sunbathe, a stickler for sunscreen for himself and others, giving ‘the mom friend’ but Beach Edition (learned it from Elias). Probably tried surfing with Logan as a kid, but he sucked at it lol.

Logan: Adding from above^ I can see Logan being more of a sun/sand enjoyer. Will get in the water, but probably enjoyed it more as a kid (I KNOW he played mermaids with Hesh lol, peak sibling behavior). Doesn’t like the way the salt water makes the sand stick to his skin, and gets annoyed with Hesh constantly reminding him to reapply sunscreen. Definitely still gets sunburnt somehow, and complains when he’s forced to put aloe on the burns lol. Would still petulantly throw sand at Hesh like they did as kids. Many attempted drownings occurred with those two. Unlike Hesh, he was pretty decent at surfing, and definitely rubbed it in Hesh’s face lol.

Elias: Peak Beach Dad behavior lmao. Would make sure the boys were sun screened up heavy as kids, and would still remind them as adults. Loves to sit under an umbrella, probably with a beer, and would eventually get in the water. Would roughhouse in the water with his boys when they were kids, flinging them around and shit (still tries but it’s harder when they’re the same size as him lol). Volleyball/football/soccer tossing in the sand for sure. Definitely took Miss Mama Walker for walks on the beach, little dates and what not. Has a random seashell collection somewhere. Makes sure everything is packed for a beach day, doesn’t forget a thing.

Keegan: I can see Keegan being in the middle here. I hc him as being a bit of a southerner (maybe I’m biased but I get the vibe lol) so I imagine he probably took trips to the beach here and there as a kid. Wouldn’t necessarily go to the beach on his own, but if he found himself there, he’d fare okay. Would prob be another Elias, sits under an umbrella and just chills with a beer, might get in the water, but you’d have to convince him pretty well I think. Also ends up with a sunburn somehow like Logan, except it’s because he doesn’t gaf about sunscreen as much. Would eventually complain about the heat, and that’s when he’d get wet lol.

Merrick: Hopefully you don’t find yourself at the beach with this man, because despite being a former Navy Seal, it’s not his vibe at all. Dislikes the humid heat, hates how much sand sticks/gets everywhere, and like Logan, cannot stand being salty and sticky from the water. Definitely more of a mountain man, but if he finds himself there, he’d sit grumpily under an umbrella with the meanest mug for a while. God forbid a seagull disturbs him…he’s just not a fan of this kind of environment. If you convinced him though, he’d kick around a soccer ball or throw a football. Will put on sunscreen once and forget to reapply, then complain when his shoulders are burnt to a crisp afterward. Does however, enjoy the sound of waves crashing…just from a distance lol.

Kick: Likes the beach pretty well. Would definitely have the funkiest swim trunks/hawaiian shirt on deck. Is so pale that sunscreen hardly helps the poor man, he will be red regardless. Loves getting his ass knocked over by the waves, and will swim till his fingers are pruned. Has a ‘beach/summer’ type playlist, and it’s actually really good. Dislikes the sand after a while too, but doesn’t complain the way Merrick does lmao. Would somehow randomly have a bodyboard/boogie board, and will absolutely fuck around on it like a kid. Overall a beach enjoyer, and would def consider taking his own trip there.

Rorke: I see him being a beach enjoyer as well. Likes hot weather (did NAWT like the fed pit…) and would enjoy the sun. Probably wouldn’t care too much about swimming, but would stand on the shoreline and get his feet wet and what not, might get in the water though if swayed properly. Definitely drinks on the beach lol, stealthy with it though, you wouldn’t know that his coke can is actually a bud light (tell me his nasty ass wouldn’t be a bud light drinker…). Has the ugliest, most raggedy ball cap on, and will not wear a shirt within a 10 mile radius of said ocean (‘shoes and shirt required’ is because of mfs like him). Has that ‘cool beach uncle’ energy.

(Definitely don’t think about these big sexy men shirtless on the beach…)

[isolarya]

a collection of things I notice upon a rewatching of dead poets society + some analysis if I feel like it

first shot is on a painting of past students - highlights the school's focus on tradition (also the boys do kinda look similar to the poets so that's interesting)

cameron holds the tradition banner, knox holds discipline, neil holds excellence - does what banners they hold and the fact its only these three say something? perhaps

not cameron pointing out buildings to his parents like a tour guide lmao

cameron watching from the opposite room as mr perry talks to neil - okay headcanon but I think cameron sees a bit of himself in this interaction. you cannot tell me he doesn't look at mr perry and just think, even just a little, of the adults in his own life pushing him for more and more accomplishments

I feel like those shots of a massive flock of birds flying away says something but idk what

keating does not give them a seating plan I think do they just choose to sit like that? away from their friends? huh? (idk how american schools work especially in 1959 forgive me)

however stick does sit next to cameron and also can be seen around cameron relatively often so I headcanon they're friends

the banner for tradition isn't in shot when keating leads them outside but the rest are - hints at keating being the breakaway from tradition

charlie just standing behind the rest of the group with his foot on the chair - his lack of respect for authority (even keating rn)

friendly reminder that neil is shown whenever the topic of death comes uo

lmao cameron just judging keating's whispering (I would too, icl)

todd has a picture of like a rowboat pinned up beside his desk and yk that cut scene about how he would prefer rowing so uh yeah!

cameron writing and ripping with a ruler says a lot about him (also using a ruler to rip a book page out will only make it worse cameron wtf are you doing)

love how neil immediately stops and turns around when hager tells them to be faster

charlie doesn't wear the typical pyjamas I think and again, defiance

again the image of the old students - breaking tradition!

not something interesting but the running through the forest scene brings me so much joy

neil goes back to his desk after standing on keatings and spins his pen in his left hand and it may be people just spin pens with their non dominant hand but I choose to interpret this as left handed neil (however the way his things are laid out suggests left handedness to me) (keep in mind I am right handed)

neil keeps that blanket over his shoulders when he's excited about the play and drops it when todd mentions his dad and does that say something

charlie already has the drums before cameron comes in lmao

also is that stick I see joining in (more evidence for the cameron-stick friendship theory)

no see when cameron looks upset after charlie says he hated the clarinet and the poets laugh this is one of the moments that he will remember when they're asking about the dead poets society and the rest won't remember but he will

love anderperry just being gay in the background

stick is short (like me)

aww we love the cave making an appearance when charlie brings the girls

when charlie get the phone call from god he appears to be sitting away from his friends (to not get caught, probably)

when keating tells the class to keep their heads about them you can see cameron saying something like “yes sir” and only when everyone else says “yes captain” does he look around and say captain and that's just more stuff about he sees keating

“I don't care if the world comes to an end tomorrow night you are through with that play” - ow this hits after neil’s death

neil shaking out his hands before he speaks to keating because its nervous

I think it says a lot when you see neil is a lot more comfortable and loose around keating than his own father

also something about that scene gives the idea before neil was crying even before he went to keating like just something about how he acts and talks

that reminds me there are quite a few moments in this film where imo it looks like neil is about to cry but he doesn't and that also says something about his character

keating telling neil about he loves teaching and I bet neil was thinking about how he loved acting

neil is usually quite confident but like he's so unsure with his words in these few scenes

also neil lying to keating and he's fidgeting and also that tiny moment where he acts like his dad and also also I think keating knows he's lying

todd trying to mess up camerons hair and now I'm so proud of how confident he is when he's with his friends

oh I love the poets (especially meeks) just staring at knox and chris in utter awe

hang on why are cameron and charlie sitting next to each other in the play I thought they didn't like each other (chameron propaganda time)

you can see neil isn't smiling by the time the curtain closes and dammit I hate mr perry even more for ruining this one moment for his son

but then when he sees the poets clapping for him and the audience covers his dad you see him smiling again and then his dad comes to ruin that too

neil standing on that stage smiling one last time until he has to go to his dad

the fact that the perrys have a black car is reminiscent of a funeral car or something and uh more foreshadowing to neil’s death

the window motif thing is pretty well known but I'd like to add the fact that we see neil looking out the window of the car at his friends and the theatre right before mr perry makes him leave

also todd in the background watching neil go and keating also watching without words and I'm pretty sure he knows he'll never see neil again one way or another

the fact that neil brought his crown home suggests he made it himself (or maybe he stole it but anyway) and that he loved the play enough to put so much effort in it and ow

I think the fact that neil reacts so much to his father telling him he has to be a doctor is because neil didn't know. like his father just told him this out of the blue and expected neil to go along no matter what

the pyjamas on neil’s bed don't remotely match the ones at welton - something about neil getting pulled away in every aspect of his life, something about even his clothes being chosen for him

neil’s so still in these last few scenes too and it's such a contrast from how much he moves earlier in the film

I've talked about this before but why is cameron not there when they tell todd about neil’s death. like he's probably awake you can see light behind the window above their door but charlie chose not to and I don't know why because they seem to be on decent enough terms

todd running towards the docks is so damn sad when you remember that one cut scene

neil’s things are still there in his desk :(

charlie refusing to sing - he's mourning neil, definitely, but he refuses to do it the way the school wants (and ignore the reality of neil’s death)

also cameron is next to charlie again WHY WAS HE NOT TOLD SOMEONE EXPLAIN THIS TO ME

hey remember when I said earlier that the tradition banner wasn't in shot? guess what's the only banner in shot now that neil’s dead and keating’s done for

when mcallister takes the class outside they're walking on a path with many footsteps. it's an effort, but it's not what keating did

EVEN HOPKINS STOOD lets goooo

the triumphant music is great and yes I am mourning the two desks left empty but triumphant music

this movie will never make me not cry

fun fact we have the names for almost everyone in the class i believe, which you can find in the credits along with their actor, and I'm pretty sure the actors got to pick the names

also in the og script one of the students has the surname priske (which could be headcanon, you pick which ig) and one is called richard watson (I believe there is one name missing in the credits so this is my headcanon for that one)

sorry for how long it is lmao

[bcolfanfic]

need more about the bucks' baby micah, headcanons or blurb i want more!!! (please, and when you have time ofc)

for ref

doing this in headcan0ns list form bc im tired from the time zone switch back to the states

the bucks do, as reffed in that blurb, turn the car around from going to wisconisn to go back to wyoming. end up having to get a hotel somewhere for the night so they don't drive more or less 20 hours roundtrip themselves into an early grave. but yeah.

swing josie by gale's sister’s house on the way back to sheridan. don't explain all the details but have to give her *some* explanation when they go from headed them to wisconsin to now suddenly back in wyoming.

maybe don't explain that this baby is her biological sibling right away but just. say that someone they know needs help with their baby, and that they gotta go back because they don't want him to be in the hospital by himself. pretty word salady but they're exhausted and she's five so. it is what is for the time being.

get to the hospital and get scrubbed in to down to the nicu with natalie to go see him. john's head still feels like his head is still in in spin-mode to the extent that he's not really processing everything fully.

but gale sees that itty bitty baby in his little nicu incubator with a little tube in his nose and is just. distraught.

has to sit down after a minute because its making his chest hurt. he just can't fathom how little he is and how he's in *danger* and how connected he already feels to him.

he gets reallll "woowoo" about the fact that he finally brought up wanting another kid to john all of 20 minutes before they got the call about him. feels like he somehow already intrinsically knew about him before he actually knew.

so kinda the reverse of how it was with josie- gale instantly feels bonded to him and john has a little bit of a harder time.

loves him so much already, is worried sick with all the preemie health stuff he's got going on. its just hard to process how fast everything is happening. if him and gale had sat down and decided to go the infant adoption route that'd be one thing.

in that case he'd have a lot more time to work through his hurdles re: being scared of having a baby, of being responsible for someone's life from scratch etc etc. but here he only had the drive back from wisconsin.

calls his mom a lot. calls curt a lot. that helps.

lil guy doesn't have a name for the first week of his life lmao. they just call him buddy and baby boy and then john is sitting up w/ gale one night and asks if he's given any thought to his name.

they land on micah curtis. micah as a riff off of michael the archangel, and curtis after their best friend (:

curt cries when he finds out. sweet man.

john's mom comes out from wisconsin and when she's there at the hospital that's when both the bucks go to gale's sister's house and have to explain to josie- the best they can- the full details.

poor peanut is so conflicted about Everything. has been confused about not seeing either of her dads in the same room for almost two weeks. is excited about having a baby sibling- but confused about why if he's /her/ sibling from her mom why she can't see her mom.

just a lot of Big Feelings, which gale and john handle the best that they can. good dads <3

i think it finally really Clicks for john when micah is doing okay enough that theyre allowed to hold him. looks at that lil guy in his lil nicu baby beanie sleeping on his chest and just. yeah. big thats my son, i would do anything for you feelings.

john gets really into sitting by his lil incubator and reading to him. nice way to bond that isn't super overwhelming. makes gale heart happy to watch. his boyssss.

this is getting super long lmao so ill cut if off here. but i wove micah- and rachel and i have developed a looottt of lore about him as a teenager/young adult (specifically re: him and wyatt- helen's baby with nash/ev's step son). so feel free to come prompt me to yap more!