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pit-and-the-pen · 7 months ago

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I'll Crawl Home to Her- Chapter 2

Sorry this update took a little longer, I had some personal stuff going on and my work schedule was pretty packed this week.

Also, this is a fix-it fic. It'll be following the events of the whole series so buckle in y'all. Also also, I shit on Tamlin a lot in these next chapters but it has a purpose I promise!

Chapter warnings: Warnings: Mention of abuse/ trauma, one comment about weight in terms of said said abuse , minor blood

WC: 9.6K

Read the previous parts here

[prologue] [chapter 1]

Next Part [here]

“Rhys is the most handsome High Lord.” I read line after line of similar words. I rolled my eyes at my brother's antics.

“He’s sure laying it on thick.” I say as I sat down next to Feyre. She looks up from her writing and gives me a guarded laugh.

“At least I’m entertaining.” She huffs out.

“I can help you too, if you want. Give you a break from him.” She raises her eyebrow at me, studying me with a look that made me want to sink in on myself.

“Why?” She asks sharply

I willed my temper down. “Because despite what Tamlin might tell you, we’re not evil,” I spit out at her, she doesn’t flinch even slightly at the venom in my voice. “And you’re going to be here once a month for the foreseeable future. I’d like us to at least tolerate each other. Plus, it would piss off my brother.” Her eyes shone with mischief.

“You should have started with that.” And that was that. I pushed Rhys’ papers to the side and picked out a few books that had been my favorite. The plots are interesting enough to make up for the basic words used. Feyre caught on fairly easily. She could recognize almost all of the basic words but struggled to read them out loud. Not fully understanding how the sounds mashed together. We sat and read, and then when that got to be too much for her we just started talking. It was nothing deep, not really gossip either. Just casual words thrown back and forth until she asks out of the blue. “What’s the deal with Tamlin and Rhys?” I froze into stillness only fae possessed. Sensing my discomfort she backtracked. “You don’t have to tell me. I shouldn’t have asked.” Her voice held a little edge of fear. I forced my shoulders to relax.

“No, you have every right to ask. It’s…complicated. You’re walking into centuries old distrust and unfortunately, are caught in the middle.” It wasn’t fair to her to be caught in all of this old shit. That was our baggage and I could see it was affecting her but she pressed on.

“But why do they hate each other so much?”

“I’m not the best person to ask.” She narrowed her eyes at my non-answer. I sighed. “We’ve both done some terrible things to each other's courts, the wounds run deep and that’s all I’ll tell you.”

“Why?” She would not let up.

“Because you love Tamlin. And I don’t want you to think I’m trying to ruin whatever picture you have of him.” That really seemed to pique her curiosity.

“You had a different experience with him?” It felt like she had punched me in the stomach. No. That’s the problem, I had the exact same experience with him and I ended up just as broken as I can see you’re becoming.

“That’s not a story for today.” I tried to keep the shake out of my voice and maybe it was that, or the fear I know I couldn’t keep off of my face that made her drop the subject with a small, “okay”.

It was lunch time before we decided to take a break. “Do you want to eat here or go out with the others?”

“Rhys will just pull me out if I don’t.”

“My brother can fuck off. What do you want to do?” I saw a ghost of a smile twitch across her face. So we ate in the library. I left only long enough to stack up two plates full of food. Rhys took in the amount of food I was grabbing,

“Hungry today?” I only stuck my tongue out at him and walked back out of the room.

Rhys joined us a little after lunch. If he was surprised to still see me in here, he didn’t let it show. I didn’t leave until Feyre told me she was okay with me doing so.

It was probably overkill to be so protective of her, Rhys was the last person who would ever try to hurt her or anything like that but she was still uneasy around him. She hid it well with the sheer disdain she showed him but I could tell from the rigidness of her shoulders and that slight edge in her voice. But there was also something else there that I couldn’t put my finger on.

Feyre had stayed in the library long after their meeting. I found her hunched over another book, finger slowly tracing over the words. She hardly looked up as I placed another plate of food in front of her and went to walk out of the room. She didn’t call after me and I was okay with that. Scared she might start another round of questions.

I didn’t see much of her after that. So I traveled back and forth between Velaris. Spending half my time at the manor and the other half actually doing my job as researcher. I really didn’t have to work but it gave me something to fill up my days. Before Amarantha I spent most of my time helping Cassian manage the Illyrians, from the background of course. Being the High Lords sister did not save me from their views on females. So I only showed up when necessary, Azriel and Cassian always following behind me. They learned fast enough to keep their tongues in check if they wanted to keep them in their mouths.

Currently I was looking at old maps of Prythian. Combining through records for landscapes and t river patterns. Where the boundaries have shifted over time. And then came the daunting task of trying to pick out recountings of the old war. Figuring out who does best with what court. Prepping for the outcome we were all dreading, another war with Hybern.

“I don’t understand what you’re trying to get from these books.” Cassian said, absently flipping through the large leather bound book I had just placed to the side.

“Anything. Weakness, strengths, strategies, gods, anything.” I said leaning back. I knew I had to take a break, when I closed my eyes I could still see the words swirling in the blackness behind my eyelids. I took a deep breath and went to look at the giant map I had covered my desk with. Pins and markers to recount every movement during the last war.

“Do you really think that it’s going to help?” I know he wasn’t trying to be rude. His voice was soft when he asked and my shoulders sunk in slightly.

“I don’t know. But if it does…” He nodded in understanding. Azriel knocked lightly on the door, making both Cas and I jump. He had learned to knock now after he had to dodge out of the way of the book I had launched at him last week. I still haven't reaccustomed myself to how quiet his footsteps could be. A skill I had once prided myself on, I had even been able to pick up on those silent footsteps and find him before he wanted to be seen.

“Just wanted to remind you two to eat.” He looked at the books strewn across the table, taking note of the one Cassian was still flipping through, playing with truly. “I know how you can get when you’re focused. Time for food.” He smiled at the shy look I gave him from being called out. Many times he had to drag me out of my office when I really got into something. His smile made me think he was remembering those times too.

“If we go, will you two stop making eyes at each other?” Cassian spoke up, making me break away from Azriel’s stare.

“We were not.” I responded, trying to tame the blush in my cheeks. Get it together. I told myself as I forced myself to turn to Cas. His eye roll was the only answer I got. Azriel had already started walking down the hall and I slapped Cassian on the arm.

“You’re so annoying sometimes Cas.”

“And you love me for it.” He gave me a loud, wet peck on the cheek and gave a full head-thrown-back laugh when I made a big show of wiping it off.

I didn't return to the other house that night. Opting to stay with my friends. One of whom, Cassian, had gone into the wine cellar and returned with his arms almost full of the expensive bottles. I just laughed as he shot me a wink. I blew him a kiss back as I settled down on the couch besides Mor.

We didn’t bother getting glasses, passing the bottles around while we talked about absolutely nothing, acting like we had during our teenage years. It was later in the night before Rhys appeared in the living room. He took one look at all of us and rolled his eyes before he swiped the bottle out of my hand and brought it to his lips.

Mor and I were fully supporting each other's weight on the couch, I couldn’t tell who was leaning against who more but our giggles started to get louder and more frequent. She whispered to me so quietly I had to strain to hear her. “Stop staring at him.” And we fell into another fit of giggles.

She was right though, everytime Azriel talked I could feel how my eyes stayed locked on him. Reminding myself to breathe when he pulled the bottle to his lips. I pushed off of Mor and went to stand up, wobbling slightly as my feet touched the ground. Azriel made a move like he was going to catch me if I took a face first dive on the carpet but when I steadied myself, he moved back. It happened so fast I wonder if I imagined it.

“I think it’s bedtime.” I said, mouth feeling mushy as the words came out. Mor laughed again and I turned to face her and gave her a rude gesture. I offered that same hand to pull her up to her feet and she pouted before taking it. Everyone seemed to get the hint that it was late so all of us in our various drunken states started the climb up the stairs to our rooms. Good nights thrown through the hallways, Cassian all but screaming it to make sure Mor and I heard him. The sound made us flinch before laughing again as I closed the door to my room.

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Before I knew it Feyre’s week was officially up. She had demanded to be brought back home and I fought down the biting comments I wanted to make as Rhys agreed. I stepped besides the pair and she looked over to me for a brief second before pretending that neither of us existed.

“You don’t have to come with me. Rhys spoke into my mind and replied with a shake of my head. I could do this for Feyre. Despite every part of my body screaming at me for bringing her back to the Spring court, if she could be brave then so could I. He sighed at my stubbornness but knew that there was no changing my mind.

We weren’t going far. Simply dropping her at the border of spring and summer and making sure she got into the manor. I could manage that. Yet as we were getting ready to winnow in, I felt my hands go clammy. I remember me saying I’ll never go back there willingly.

The smell was the first thing that hit me. The overwhelming floral scent. I could smell the roses from the outside of the manor this far away, their sheer number coating the air with a smell that threatened to suffocate me on the spot.

“Goodbye, Feyre.” She had already started walking before he finished speaking, not sparing so much as a glance back to us. So we stood and watched her retreating figure until those wooden doors closed behind her. That was that.

We didn’t return to Hewn city, instead winnowing outside the townhome.

Rhys didn’t stay to greet our friends. Instead, he all but ran up the stairs to either go to his study or his room. Everyone gave me a tentative look before I shrugged and sprawled out on the couch besides Azriel.

He didn’t try to pull away from me. Instead, he lifted his hands from their spot on his lap. His way of telling me I could place my legs up so I didn’t have to sit awkwardly to avoid his wings. I did and I ignored how happy that little gesture made me. Over the last few weeks he seemed to be able to handle being around me again.

Cassian started rapid firing questions at me. What is she like? She threw what at Rhys? Anything for scraps of what their brother's mate was actually like. Sure they had gotten the story of her trials but this was different, getting to know who she actually was. Cassian seemed pleased to know she was still just as head strong. “Maybe someone will finally humble him a little.” He chuckled

Rhys spoke up as he entered the room. “Who’s humbling who?” He picked at an invisible piece of lint on his shoulder. The only sign of how upset sending Feyre back had made him.

Cassian didn’t answer but instead asked “Did she really throw a shoe at you?” He laughed when Rhys shot me a dirty look. Answering the question for him. “I want to meet her.” Cassian said and I swore he was almost pouting.

Rhys sighed, “And have you scare her off.” Cassian looked hurt so Rhys added, “Let her get more adjusted to me before we add all of this into the mix. Besides, she cannot see Velaris. Not when…” not when she came back to Tamlin. Not when she could still spill every little secret of ours to one of our biggest enemies.

Cas looked like he wanted to argue but only said “Princess gets to see her.”

“Because I have a winning personality.” I smiled at him and he launched one of the small pillows from his chair at me. I managed to deflect it but as it bounced off my arm it hit Azriel square in the face. I bit down my laughter at his faux outraged face. He threw it back and before I knew it, they were yelling at each other, well Cas was yelling and Azriel was trying his hardest not to laugh.Sensing a fight was emanate, I pushed off of Azriel and spoke loudly over the two Illyrian males.

“Outside if you’re going to fight.” Even Armen, who had stalked into the room around as Rhys laughed at that.

Cassian turned to me, his temper still flaring. “We’re not dogs.”

“Last time you both fought in the house, I was cleaning up glass for a week.” I raised an eyebrow at him, challenging him to say otherwise.

Azriel spared Cassian from having to respond. “C’mon.” He said, pulling Cassian to what I could only assume was the training ring.

“I forgot how much you look like Rhys when you get bossy.” Cassian said as he was pulled from the room. And my responding gesture made the rest of the room go up in laughs. Rhys followed them out. Probably needing to get rid of his own tension and Armen had snuck back into the research room.

I didn’t have it in me to just stare at maps all day long, regardless of knowing how much I needed to. So I just stayed in the living room, a random book from the shelf pulled onto my lap.

Rhys came back first, hair only slightly disheveled, wings out proudly. “Once I get out of the bath, it’s time for your training.” I huffed and he could sense I was about to argue with him. “Cassian and Azriel told me you can’t use your powers.” Traitors. “So we’re going to figure out what the hel is wrong.”

Less than an hour later I was sitting in Rhys’ study. A small candle flickering in front of me, taunting me to snuff it out. I pulled and pulled for any of the small dark tendrils to do so but found nothing. Sweat was beginning to form on my brow with how hard I was concentrating.

Rhys huffed in frustration at my lack of progress. “It was easier teaching Feyre to read.”

“Then by all means, go back to that. I’d love to see her throw another shoe at you.” I bit back at him and he just rolled his eyes.

“Try again.” He went right back to business, ignoring my statement. I really did try. I Have been trying. That rich darkness that normally lingered under my skin seemed like it was hidden behind a wall. Just out of my grasp, so close I could almost taste it, almost touch it. I yelped as I reached out towards it. Pain flickering through my body as if it had burned me. Rhys’ hand on my shoulder snapped me out of whatever had happened. Sweat broke across my skin and I flinched as I felt my magic fight against the wall inside my head.

“What’s happening?” I spoke to my brother. He just stared at me before I felt a phantom knock at my mental shields. I forced them open and almost screamed at the pain that flooded through me. I knew the moment he found it. Felt that sickening thread of magic that never released when the spell broke for the other high lords. Rhys’ presence in my head retreated and we could only look at each other. No words to be found between us.

“Fuck.” The first word he uttered and I somehow found it in myself to laugh.

“That bad?”

“Good news is there’s not a physical block. No magic stopping you.” So why did he still look like death froze over? “Bad news, you’re the block.”

“Go on?”

“I don’t fully know but it looks like your magic is being tied up by your own magic.”

“So, you’re saying. I’m the problem?”

“I’ve been saying that your whole life but yes, especially in this case.” He teased, trying to lighten the new tension in the air. I bite

“Well then that simply means you’re going to be stuck with me a lot more. That or I go to Helion.” He rolled his eyes at the mention of the other high lord, one who has been trying for the last few centuries to get me into his bed.

“Maybe.” shit. It must be serious if he’s actually willing to let Helion help. “Let’s hope it doesn’t come down to that.” He says solemnly and points back to the candle. I stare at him for a moment before sighing and trying to cover the light again.

We sit as I try again and again and again. Nothing besides a small puff of black smoke to let us know that I’m even trying. Right as I’m about to say something I see Rhys flinch and his eyes flare with anger. Only not at me, his eyes look far away as that anger homes in on whatever must have made his shoulders tense.

I see his eyes come back into focus and I don’t even have to ask before he’s spilling. “He hurt her.” I don’t need him to say who. “I can tell it’s nothing serious but I got nothing but pure fear from her.” Rhys had already explained that the bargain amplified the usual effects of the mating bond. That he could sometimes get whiffs of any strong emotion from Feyre. Fear, anger, mostly fear but as her nightmares have started to fade I haven't heard much about it. My stomach curls and I try to will my hands to not shake as my mind drifts to the endless possibilities of what could have happened.

“It’ll be okay. She’s strong.” The words felt wrong in my mouth and Rhys said the very thing I had been thinking.

“You were strong.”

“Well you can’t very well march in there and get her.” I saw the look on his face. “You can’t, we can’t. And she still doesn’t want us. Unless it feels like that first time…” He shook his head. So not as bad. Still bad, still awful enough for her to send fear down the bond but not bad enough that Rhys could only hear her screaming for someone to get her out of there. So we both let it go, ignored the thoughts that told every part of us to go help this girl from whatever Tamlin was inflicting. But even I knew that Tamlin’s anger comes from his love. That anger so wrapped in fear that something will happen that he almost wills those incidents into existence.

We spend hours trying to break whatever block is in my head until I’m grumpy and all but biting his head off at every little comment he makes. He bites right back at me and I know there's no point in this anymore, both of us too on edge to do anything productive. Throwing his hands up in surrender he doesn’t stop me as I storm out of his study. I run head first into Azriel on my way to my room, his hands resting on my arms so I don’t topple over.

“Training went that well.” He says with a small chuckle. The noise sends a low growl from my throat and he takes his hands off of me. “We’ll figure this out.” He says and I continue my path to my room, not staying long enough to see the concern in his eyes.

I was still grumpy by the time that dinner rolled around but I managed to pull myself out of bed. My head is pounding from the strain and whatever Rhys did inside my mind. I throw on the first thing I find, still in my thin nightgown I pulled on after my bath, and head down to dinner. I don’t say much and not even Cassian tries to cheer me up, all he does is remind me that I’m joining them for training in the morning. I don’t respond with anything other than stabbing the chicken on my plate with extra force.

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I struck the center of the dummy and looked over for Cassian for any semblance of approval. He gave me a bored look and I stomped over to the stupid thing and pulled all three of the daggers out of it. Cas wanted me to get back up to snuff with long range before he put a sword in my hand again. I had never needed the sword that I kept strapped to my back on the missions I would accompany Azriel on, always having my powers to stop anyone from getting that close in the first place. Between Azriel shadows and my blanket of darkness, very rarely did we ever need anything more than truth teller.

I grunted in frustration as the sharp metal flew through my fingers time after time, all of them hitting the center of the target.

“Fuck this Cas, I did the warm ups, I did the exercises. Let me fight.” I needed to do something more than this. If I couldn’t use my powers, if they never came back, I needed to be useful. In no world would I just sit around and let my friends risk death while I sat around playing with my maps. Cassian must have heard the desperation in my voice because he agreed.

We circled each other and I got a rare glimpse of Cassian with no restraint. This was the war general that scared people just by being on the battlefield. I tried not to let the frision of fear show as he surveyed every inch of me, seemingly reading my body language like I was screaming my next moves at him. I didn’t stand a chance. His fist made contact with my nose before I could turn out of the way and I fell to the ground. My hand went up and when I pulled it back, my fingers were sticky with my blood. Cassian was instantly in front of me, mumbling out apologies. I held up my hand to stop him from talking.

“Cassian.” A stern voice called out as I ran my hand along my nose again, feeling for any breaks. “What did you do to her?” Azriel’s voice was full of concern as he knelt besides Cassian.

“Alright bat brains. I’m not dying,” I started to stand up and they both reached out their hands to help me up, I swatted them away and brushed off the dust on my pants. “It’s not the first time I’ve been too slow before, and it’s not going to be the last.” They both stared at me and I rolled my eyes. “C’mon. I still have to beat you Cas.” He shook his head laughing and Azriel shot him a glare.

Cassian, never one to back down from a challenge, and never one to miss an opportunity to piss off Azriel, agreed to go back into the ring with me. He coached me through it this time, slowing down his punches to explain how to predict them and block them. All things that I knew but just needed more practice. By the end of the hour I was covered in sweat but I was able to block him without his guidance. Azriel didn’t leave either, hanging back to watch, adding his own little tips and tricks to help me get some advantage over Cassian but I still couldn’t get him to budge an inch.

“Do you want to get in with her then?” Cassian shouted to Azriel as he continued to assist me from the side lines. I made a motion for Cassian to stop as I tried to catch my breath. Placing my hands on my knees and sucking in screaming breaths.

“I think I’m done.” I panted out.

“If you wanted me to make you breathless princess, all you had to do was ask.” He winked and tossed a canteen full of water over to me. I drank half of it in one long gulp and forced myself to stand up straight. My muscles were already crying out in protest. Tomorrow was going to suck for sure.

The three of us walked back up to the house, laughing and joking and I felt proud of the progress I was making. Even if the dried blood still on my hands might have suggested otherwise.

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A month went by so fast, I had to tick off the days to make sure I was right.I woke up to Rhys preparing to collect Feyre from the spring court again. Rhys didn’t ask me to go with him this time, after that last flood of emotions he knew he would have a hard time containing himself let alone both of us.

I was already waiting at the house for when they got back, ready to play mediator if need be. They had barely materialized before my brother was fussing over Feyre. The two bickered back and forth but from the way she looked over herself, I knew even she could hear the worry in his voice. She had lost more weight since the last time she had been here. The shadows under her eyes creeped back onto her pale skin. “Eat breakfast with me.” He said and I shifted from my place in the living room. Mor was somewhere in the house after her visit to the Court of Nightmares yesterday. Probably still decompressing with the bottle of wine she took with her to bed.

I gave Feyre a small smile and she didn’t return it, but she didn’t glare at me either. It’s a step at least. The female in front of me gave a heavy sigh after weighing Rhys offer. The growl I heard come from her stomach seemed to make the decision for her. I didn’t follow them, if she had wanted me to I would have been able to tell. So I stayed close enough that I could swoop in and save her from my brother's overprotectiveness if need be. The glimpses of their conversation I caught weren’t the best but I stilled completely as I caught,

“I was tortured, beaten and fucked until only I could tell myself who I was, what I was protecting. Please- help me keep that from happening again. To Prythian.” My heart ached at the words. He had had it so much worse than I did, regardless of what people might believe. I could see it on his face during some of his bad days, the scars of what Amarantha did to him. I didn’t listen to her response as I walked to my room.

I found Feyre the next day as I had the last time, hunched over the table with more lines from Rhys to read. She was copying them in better handwriting than she had before. When I approached she didn’t so much as look up at me. I called her name gently and still nothing. So I took that as my sign to let her be. Rhys had gotten called to the war camps later that day.

“Just look after her please. I know she’s fine but let me know if either of you need anything.” He blabbered as I all but pushed him out the door.

“We’ll be fine, you overprotective mother hen.” His face fell slightly and I couldn’t stand that look on his face. “I’ll let you know if she needs anything, okay? Now go be a High Lord.” I saw a hint of a smile as he winnowed out of the house.

I tried to stay out of her way. Whatever bit of goodwill she had allowed me last time seemingly disappeared. So I kept bringing her books when she ran out of the ones Rhys had given her, brought her food and left her to her own devices. Today, she didn’t give me a glare as I sat down in the armchair on her left. I opened my own book without giving her a second glance. The small hmph she made was the only indication she had even noticed my presence. She didn’t want to talk and quite frankly, neither did I, perfectly content with getting lost in our own books.

It was around midday and the sun was just starting to peek through the heavy curtains of the library when I felt Rhys appear in the room. In his hands were trays of food which he presented to Feyre. A small thank you left her lips and I wanted to smack that smug look on Rhys face as he teased her. But then I saw his face get serious and I suddenly felt very much like I was intruding on a private moment. “Tell me how I can help you.” His voice was scratchy and I knew he was trying to hold back tears, to keep the conversation casual enough that she wouldn’t shut him out again. I truly did try to tune them out but these were the same things I had been wanting to say to her all week but couldn’t find the strength.

“If you fall apart then the bitch wins. All of that is for nothing and she wins.” Rhys said plainly and Feyre flinched before going back to her book. I could tell that she was talking to him in her mind. My eyes grew wide when I saw that slight layer of frost cover the book cover. Rhys barely had time to dodge said book as it was thrown right at his head. It bounced harmlessly to the floor and I stifled a laugh. The laugh died in my throat when I saw the flicker of flames in her palms and I tried to reach my mind out to Rhys, he all but threw me out.

Feyre and Rhys left later that day. I didn’t offer to come with, didn’t want to come with. Just like last time when Rhys returned to Velaris, he stalked to his office and hid out for the rest of the evening. I only got close enough to the door to leave a plate of food outside before retreating back to my side of the house. His emotions pouring through the door were enough to give me a headache, the way it felt like I was walking into a brick wall. I didn’t try to talk to him for the rest of the day. Instead choosing to pull my attention back to the map in my study.

I had been neglecting it to focus on Feyre and Rhys but I knew it’s just because I wasn’t getting anywhere. No matter how many books I read, I couldn’t think of anything that would help us win this war. Not without all seven courts working together and I knew Hel would freeze over before that ever happened.

So I read until my eyes became blurry and heavy. My head had gotten so heavy like the words were getting stuck and wouldn’t leave. When I felt my eyes starting to close and knocking on the door jostled me awake. I saw the shadows before I saw him, too tired to notice that they had time to take in my current state and report back to Az.

“You should take a break.” He said as he went to pull up a chair at the table I was sitting at.

“I can’t take a break when I haven’t found anything yet.” I whined at him. “I’m supposed to be good at this, I am good at this. Or at least I was.” I slumped in my chair and I saw that familiar look of concern flash through his warm amber eyes. He sat there, I could almost see the gears in his brain turning, his shadows starting to swirl around the floor like soothing waves. I stared at them and felt my mind calm slightly. He sighed and leaned back in his chair, wings flapping behind him.

We just sat there in silence for a few moments and then he stood up suddenly. My eyes tracked the movement, following his arm as he extended a hand to me. It was like my brain short circuited at the gesture. He had to clear his throat before I snapped out of it and I timidly placed my hand in his. He led me out of my office and I felt his shadows on my heels. “Where are we going?” I laughed at how ridiculous this must look, one of the fiercest Illyrian warriors towing someone behind him like an excited kid.

“Just be quiet. You’ll know when we get there.” His own voice full of an almost giddy excitement. So I let him pull me along. All the way outside until it clicked. There was a little patch of grass beside the Sidra that I loved to sit by when the weather was just starting to turn warm. Our little group used to spend free days out on that field, just soaking in the warmth. He gave me a proud smirk when we finally reached that stretch of grass. “Now, you’re going to sit and just enjoy being out here.”

“Is that an order?” I teased and he didn’t miss a beat.

“If that means you’ll actually do it, then yes.” I sat and looked out over the river. The lights and sounds of the city walk could just trickle in, becoming a lovely hum in the back of my mind. I patted the spot next to me and Azriel sat beside me. I curled my knees up to my chest and rested my chin on top of them. Just looking at the city I loved so much. We didn’t talk, Azriel was always good for that. He knew when I needed the quiet. The sound of the small waves helped clear my head and after a while I felt my shoulders sink down, the tension lightening. It was still there of course but became more manageable as I could smell the water and Azriel’s pine and fresh air scent. It wrapped its way around me and held me like my favorite blanket.

“Thank you.” I said, breaking the comfortable silence. We didn’t look at each other, still staring out at the city just ahead.

“Of course. Anything for you,” He cleared his throat, “For one of my friends.” I bit down the string at that little word. I fought the urge to put some distance between us at the feeling that flooded me. The cruel reminder of just exactly how he saw me. So I just pulled my legs in tighter and ignored all the thoughts of him that began to take over.

We didn’t head back to the house until sundown. The pair of us walked under the flickering faelights that lined the streets. It still blows my mind how much the city changed while I was gone. I told him that much. And he shrugged off the tiny complement.

“Rhys and I will never be able to thank you enough for how much you all did while we were…gone.” My voice felt tight as I finished, “You kept our home safe when we couldn’t.” He turned to look at me and went to say something but stopped himself. His face looked slightly pained, in that concerned way he always managed. He shook his head slightly.

“You did more than we ever could. You and Rhys gave us a chance to have something to protect in the first place.” In his words, I was pulled back to that night when it had all gone to shit. How Cassian and Azriel were out dealing with the camps and how I couldn’t convince Rhys not to go so I insisted that I come along. I had to beg him to let me come with him and he still wasn’t happy about it. We walked right into a trap and before most of his power had been ripped away from him he wiped the memory of Velaris from everyone who was under the mountain and let our friends know what was happening, how they couldn’t come after us without leaving Velaris unguarded.

Azriel’s small nudge to my shoulder pulled me back to the present and his eyes asked the question before he needed to.

“I’m okay.” But I felt how my arms had wrapped around myself but he didn’t say anything about it, letting me have my space. We reached the house again and I could hear Cassian and Mor’s voices floating down the hallway. The sound alone plastered a smile on my face. Azriel followed behind me as I rounded the corner and Cassian all but cheered when he saw me. “There you are princess, we went to pull you out of your study but it seems someone beat us to it.” He gave me a small wink and I laughed at the joke behind it. I shook my head as I sat down next to Mor who was already pouring me a glass of wine.

Rhys spoke to me across the table, “I peaked in and saw the map, tomorrow if you’re up for it I want all of us to go over it.” I nodded and he smiled at me. And we all ate and joked and I left the love I felt for the people in the room washed over me like the waves in the Sidra.

---------------------

“So if it comes down to war. Who do we have?” Rhys turned to Cassian and myself. We were all sitting around the map I had been working on, face grim as I explained the various markings.

“The Illyrians don’t have a choice. The court of nightmares should. We kept up pretty well with Dawn and Day. Winter…” His voice trailed off. I still remember Kallias’ face as the news broke of the attack on Winter. The thousands of babes dead by Amarantha’s hand. The pure loathing his face held as he looked at Rhys.

“I can talk to them.” I had always liked Kallias. And from the little bit I’ve heard since our return home, he finally married Viviane after being friends since childhood. Viviane was sweet and her, Mor and I had been known to get ourselves in trouble when together. If she would listen, Winter would come around.

“Autumn and Spring are lost causes.” Cassian sighed beside me, slumping down in his chair.

“Tamlin is delusional enough to think it would keep him safe.” And keep Feyre safe. But I didn’t say that outloud. “Beron is…well Beron. Unless we think we can pursue one of the brothers to take him out of the equation, I think it’s better to not plan for them.”

“Summer?” Rhys asked pointedly ignoring Cas’ words on the other seasonal courts.

“Tarquin is new and young. He’ll side with the majority. But I think I could talk to him and at least see where his loyalties lie.” I had only talked to the new high lord a few times during our time under the mountain. He seemed nice enough, one of the few people who was even willing to talk to me at all. No fear of the role I had been forced into and hoped he would side with us. Hoped his newness wouldn’t scare him into the easy choice.”

“I don’t like the idea of having two courts fighting against us.” Azriel finally spoke up. I had almost forgotten he was in the room but his shadow currently sitting at my feet should have been reminder enough. “Hybern has the armies he needs and if he has the cauldron….”

“So what do you suggest?” My brother asked, head in his hands.

“We talk to them. Let them know that we won’t win this if we’re not unified. Remind them that we fought a war once to avoid this very thing and some courts were on the wrong side of history then and would be now.” I spoke plainly, it was the only answer. If it had been anyone else the idea would have been shot down. But Rhys just let out a heavy breath and nodded.

“We’ll wait until we’re sure. Some courts will refuse to believe there will be a war until it’s staring them in the face.” The tone in Rhys’ voice letting us know this meeting was over. We all stayed in the room, the same exhausted look sat on our faces. “Good work.” Rhys said to me as he studied the map again. “You got all of this from books?” I had been too young to remember most of the war, let alone fight in it. But at least someone had thought it smart to recount all of it in very exact detail, I just managed to translate to current day Prythian. Rhys was silently nodding to himself as he really studied the map. The others slowly filter out of the room, leaving Rhys and I alone studying the map.

“And these?” He pointed to the orange marks I had drawn all over.

“Trade agreement routes, the thicker the line, the more movement there is through that path. They would be the most vulnerable areas since people know them so well. They’re also normally the quickest way between courts.” I pointed out more of the lines and pins. I had so much marked off, down to what ways the rivers flowed and where their currents changed. Rhys just drank in all the information I threw at him, only nodding along to the explanations. I was about to start on another part of the map before I saw his face freeze.

Rhys had completely stilled besides me. That all-too-familiar far-away look on his. When I raised my eyebrow at him, “What is it? Is it…” He didn’t wait for me to finish, instead he let me into his mind and I almost flinched at whatever feeling Feyre was sending him. The crushing agony and pure terror. It was a feeling I knew all too well. These weren't the few stray glimpses Feyre had sent him while they were separated. This was the very thing all of us were holding our breath for, hoping it never happened.

“Rhys we can’t just ignore it this time.” I spoke, already leaving the table. His hand wrapped around my wrist, making me pause.

“If you storm in there, Tamlin has every right to declare a war.”

“And we’ll have every right to kill his sorry ass. Something that we could have done decades ago.” I spit back at my brother.

“Please.” His voice shook with fear. Scared for Feyre and maybe for me. I put my hands up in surrender. I couldn’t argue against the tone in his voice.

“So how do you want to do this then?” I asked him and we started planning.

In less than 10 minutes Mor had winnowed right on the border of spring and summer. Rhys had insisted that she come along to help. Her status would help blanket us from any repercussions. Plus her powers would come in handy if any of the guards found us. So her and I snuck into that manor I had sworn I would never see again. Do it for Feyre. Be brave for her. I said to myself as my own terror rose to a fever pitch.

I could see the darkness already pouring out of the house. My anger quickly turned into fear. What did he do to her? The voice in my head screamed. Rhys had already broken the wards and whatever was locking her inside the house. Mor knocked out the guards before they could spot us. When we finally entered the house my blood ran cold. Sitting in a ball of inky darkness was Feyre. Her screams pierced something deep inside of me. I looked around and locked eyes with Alis. Her eyes wide as she took in my face.

“He locked her in the house. I tried to…Please just keep her safe.” Was all the older fae had said to me.

My heart warmed at the concern in her voice. The same concern she had once shown me. I nodded and walked towards Feyre. Whatever darkness she was wielding seemed to only be for her and as I shook her shoulder, gently saying her name they retreated slightly. I looked over to Mor who only gave me a small nod. Taking her cue, I picked up the shaking female and was startled by how light she felt. Mor spoke up from beside me. “Your guards are going to have a hell of a headache when they wake up.”

Alis nodded in understanding and I added. “Don’t tell him where we took her. Please.” And for a second I felt just as broken as the female in my arms. I knew she would tell him, and would have to tell him but a small part of me wished she wouldn’t. But that was unfair to expect of her. It reminded me too much of the same hope I had when I left. Face sunken in and heart broken as I begged her to not tell Tamlin I was leaving. No one was there to help me and I’ll be damned if Feyre ever felt that pain. I didn’t say another word as Mor winnowed us right in front of the border. It felt like I could finally breathe again as the scent shifted to ripe fruit and salt water that marked us as safe. Marked us in summer. Feyre shifted in my arms and mumbled something softly.

Mor soothed a hand through her hair. “You’re free.”

Rhys quickly scoped Feyre from my arms without so much as a word. He looked at Mor and I

“We did everything by the book.” Rhys nodded before I felt the air whoosh around my ears and I knew we had made it home. Rhys deftly climbed the stairs to take Feyre to her room and I just stood staring at my brother back. I blocked out the memories that began to rise to the surface. The scar on my arm prickled and when my other hand raised to scratch at the angry white lines that trailed down my forearm, Mors hand wrapped against mine. Grounding me in the present.

“She’s free.” She repeated to me.

“Thank the mother.” I responded as I started to climb the stairs suddenly bone tired.

Feyre didn’t emerge from her room that night or the next morning. More than once I found myself standing outside her door, hand held up to knock but some part of my brain told me not to. Rhys hasn't left her side the whole time she was asleep. Whatever magic she had used in the house had exhausted her and I felt my heart pang for her. How alone she must have felt, how scared she must have been to be locked in that house. I remember my simple panic the first time I went to the basement of the townhouse. How it transported me back to under the mountain, I couldn’t imagine how it felt to be locked away again.

When I finally did see her, she seemed to have gotten a little color back. Enough so that she was able to argue with Rhys again. I didn’t linger this time to hear the fight, letting them duke it out in private. But as Rhys turned the corner, I knew something that happened. Something important.

”We’re going home.”

If someone had told me two months ago that Feyre would be standing in the living room of our home in Velaris I would have probably keeled over laughing. But here we were, Feyre’s eyes flickering from spot to spot in the house. I couldn’t get a read on her face but before I could even process that, I heard a pounding on the door. Cassian’s voice filtering through the wood, already complaining. Rhys shot me a look that said deal with them please. He tried to hide it but I could tell he was waiting for Feyre’s reaction to her surroundings. A hint of anything to gauge how she was feeling. He needed her to like this place like he needed to breathe. So I excused myself from the room and slipped out the front door.

”Are you serious Cas?”

”I want to meet her. She’s right there, my brothers m-” I cut him off, blocking both him and Azriel from trying to peek into the house. They could easily push right past me but stayed a healthy distance.

”Do not finish that sentence. Do you want all of Velaris to know?” I whispered screamed at him and he rolled his eyes.

”I promise you drama queen, no one’s up this early. I don’t want to be up this early.”

After a few minutes of us bickering back and forth, Rhys opened the door and said to us, “Are you all just going to stand there?”

Cassian all but trampled me trying to get in the house. I laughed when I saw his crestfallen face as he noticed Feyre was no longer in the room. “She was here right?” He spoke to the room.

”Maybe she’s scared of your good looks Cas, can’t have her falling in love with the wrong Illyrian bastard now can we?” I shot Rhys a wink and he growled lightly.

”She’ll meet you when she’s ready.” Was all he said before he rangled all of us into the dining room.

Feyre slept for the rest of the morning. She came down the stairs dressed in Night Court clothes and I felt my breath catch in my throat. The way they seemed to compliment her well enough and I had to bite my tongue to prevent me from pointing that out. Rhys met her at the door and shot me a vulgar gesture at my sugary sweet, “Be safe kids.” That I called out from my spot on the couch. I sat on the couch until the sun started to set. I had just got to the good part and debated even going to the dinner at all but I was dying to see how Feyre would handle our crazy family. If she had any chance at surviving here, she needed to like them or they would drive her crazy. Although from Cassian’s earlier words that might be the case either way. So I groaned and pulled myself off the couch, pulling on the first thing that I saw and winnowed with Mor to the front steps of the house.

Azriel and Cassian were waiting to fly us up. Cassian wrapped his arm around Mor’s waist and Azriel did the same to me. I hardly felt my feet leave the ground before he was already placing me down in front of the door. I had not had the heart to come here since I’ve been home. Too many memories for me to want to come alone and Mor grabbed my hand as she pulled me through the threshold. We had just settled in before I heard the faint trails of Rhys and Feyre voices outside the door. I couldn’t stop the two males from bounding to the door, they flung it open to reveal a very annoyed looking Rhys. I held my breath as she stood in the doorway, eyes searching for something and she landed on me. She squared her shoulders but Cassian was already speaking.

”I promise we won't bite.”

Last I heard, Cassian, no one has taken you up on that offer.” And I laughed as Feyre’s face blanched. I didn’t miss the way the female's eyes raked over the Illyrians as they stepped into the light. I tried not the bristle as her eyes lingered on Azriel just a fraction longer than I would have liked. Rhys introduced the two and it was Feyres response to one of his questions that made me feel a frision of pride.

”How the hell did you manage to survive this long without anyone killing you?” She would fit right in and Cassian’s booming laugh told me that very same thing. Armen had appeared almost out of thin air as we all made our way to the table.

Feyre was slowly filled in about how the three brothers had met. Her eyes flickered to me during the story.

”Where do you fit into all of this, besides being his sister.” She quickly added. Everyone seemed to be waiting for me to answer.

”I mean there's not much else to it besides that. He got stuck with them so I did too. I nearly knocked Cassian's teeth in the first time I met him and I’ve been stuck with them ever since.” I stuck my tongue out at Cassian who rolled his eyes.

”You mean you broke your fist trying to, princess. I had to nurse you back to health and you were helpless but to fall for my charm.” Now it was my turn to roll my eyes and I fought the urge to throw my bread across the table at him. If it wasn't for Feyre I would have. The rest of the stories and tales flowed out and, much to Feyre’s credit, she didn’t falter in the slightest. She interjected at the perfect moments, making jokes that had everyone roaring with laughter. Then the tables were turned onto her and Cassian was asking her about her life. After she had finished she turned to Rhys.

’I accept your offer- to work with you.” And I wanted to scream and cheer. I felt no such joy from Rhys as he started.

”Good because we start tomorrow. Hybern is starting this war and he’s going to bring back Jurian to help him.” I felt a shiver run down my back. Rhys had neglected to tell me that part. In an instant the lighthearted conversation was thrown to the side and Cassian launched into full general mode.

I tried my best to keep up with this new bit of information, how it would throw a wrench into any attempts of a plan. I missed the conversation that followed, mind already trying to figure out the adjustments I would need to make to the map in my office. Armen managed to snap me out of my thinking.

”The Bone Carver might indeed be willing to talk to her.” She pointed a finger at Feyre and I went to argue against the ancient female. Rhy had beaten me to it.

”Your choice, always your choice, Feyre.” and I tried to keep the fear off my face as she answered.

”How bad could it be.” Cassians’ answer had her face pale as a ghost and it was clear dinner was over at that moment. The others reduced to arguing over the semantics and who would be doing what in preparation for their journey to the prison. My eyes suddenly felt very heavy at the sounds of their voices. Azriel’s gentle hand on my shoulder was the sign that the arguing had stopped at all. I didn’t need to be asked a second time and as he flew me back down to the ground below Velaris, I wondered if all of us would make it through the war a second time.

Next Chapter: Here

Taglist: @durgenyx @tothestarsandwhateverend @quinzzelx

#acomaf #acosf #acotar #acotar fanfiction #acowar #azriel acotar #azriel x reader #a court of thorns and roses #azriel x oc #azriel fanfic #azriel shadowsinger #azriel spymaster #inner circle #rhys acotar #rhysand acotar #rhysand #feysand #rhys!sister

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anaer · 2 days ago

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wip wednesday (nov 20 24)

JJK time travel fix it fuck it up fic (chapter two) (in which gojo dies and decides to have it all when he wakes back up) sukugo/stsg rating: gojo is a good teacher, really

Three days later, Gojo realised that he forgot to give his students a due date for this assignment. He realised this when he bounced into class, smile on his face, declared, “Okay! Time to turn your essays in!” and Yuta nearly passed out crying while Maki and Toge glared at him.

“Eh?” He stared at them all through the white covering his eyes, frowning in confusion. “I did not say a single thing that should have made you cry. ”

The cacophony of shouting – insults both obvious and onigiri – filled the classroom above the sound of Yuta’s tears. Gojo pressed a finger between his eyebrows and sighed.

“Okay, okay, okay. My bad. Just tell me what you know or whatever. Maki?”

She sighed and rolled her eyes, slumping lower in her seat. “Fine. Ryoumen Sukuna, King of Curses, strongest in history and all that, could possibly kill you even—”

“Yes, definitely,” Gojo interrupted her to say, doing his damnedest to clamp down on the dreamy smile slipping across his face. It would really undercut his authority with her right now, and she already didn’t respect that. “He can definitely kill me, especially when he’s possessing Megumi. Otherwise it’d be very up in the air.” He paused. “I can’t say for sure that wouldn’t still happen, but it’s definitely a toss-up.” If he’d stayed alive longer, maybe they would’ve gotten around to fucking, though. It had really felt like it was heading that way for a while. Which ultimately meant—

“Huh, I wonder if killing Megumi now would…you know, that could work—nah, ignore me. I’m not gonna do that; I’m just joking. I would never kill one of my precious students.”

He would probably kill Toji’s kid, though, he did not say aloud.

“You know, especially not Megumi. Who I definitely care about and would never harm. Really. I wouldn’t. Although…maybe? No. Dumb idea. Forget I said that.” Maki stared at him like he’d lost it (so did the rest of them), but as she always looked at him like that, he gestured for her to continue.

"He…ravaged the land, terrorized people a thousand years ago, et cetera—you know what? Fuck this. It’s bullshit. What are you even trying to teach us? This is all shit we know.”

“Shake,” Toge agreed.

“Um…I don’t,” Yuta said. He’d finally stopped crying. Gojo was really going to have to work on fixing that.

Maki continued, “I know you’re being a freak. First, you give us an assignment out of fucking nowhere when we all know you don’t teach. Then you make us randomly research Ryoumen Sukuna, which is not even part of the curriculum this year.”

“How do you know that’s not part of the curriculum this year?”

“Because you don’t even know what the curriculum is,” she said.

Gojo stuck his tongue out at her. Maturely.

Maki rolled her eyes. “And then we come back in to the classroom to see you’ve made that weird ass mood board on the back wall and have ‘Fuck Sukuna’ written in big letters like one of your life goals.” She pointed to the goal in question. “Is this why you said bonus points for his love life?”

Gojo ignored everything she said and focused on the important part. “On that note, what did you all find out about his love life? Any wives? Kids? Boytoys?”

Maki groaned loudly, even as Yuta raised his hand.

“Yes, Yuta-kun! I’m glad someone wants to actually participate like they should.”

“Um. Gojo-sensei…So. I do want you to be happy and all, but. That’s. Uhhhh. Can I just ask…why you’re trying to fuck a thousand year old dead evil sorcerer? And not, you know. Someone else? Literally anyone else. Not that I’m…judging. Who you’re into.”

Gojo made up his face. “Well, good, because you’re married to the cursed spirit of your dead childhood friend that haunts you, so I’d hope you wouldn’t.”

Yuta did not start crying again. Progress.

#jjk #gojo satoru #sukugo #wip wednesday #wip #my fic #the time travel fuck it up fic #its been a while since i posted a wip wednesday #mainly cuz the prison realm fic has been taking over what little space i have in life #and i dont post snippets of that

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inkdemonapologist · 2 years ago

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A buncha scribbles from session 15 of the BatIM Cthulhu game! including:

Prophet swapped Sammy in for a brief moment of awareness before the final ritual to release the muses, in which he was relieved to see Susie okay and Susie was glad to see him... back to normal! Oh geez. Sammy doesn't actually know what Prophet's interactions with Susie were, but he's sure he probably regrets them

Susie hummed a little bit of a new version of one of the Bendy songs Sammy had been working on and oH YEAH THATS RIGHT SHE'S STILL KIND OF POSSESSED,

Back when the Coney Island ride they were underneath was flooding, I specified that Prophet was going to climb up the stairs "on all fours" to minimise chances of slipping and falling and I just wanted to try to draw this lmao. i forgot he was wearing a vest here

with Joey exhausted, Allison was the only one who could conduct the final ritual, and Sammy ended up calling out Prophet to keep an eye on her. i was just way too amused by the idea of sammy just TAKING A SWIG OF INK WITHOUT BREAKING EYE CONTACT TO DO THIS

also in addition to me drawing just so many scribbles of sammy lawrence i DO have some out-of-context quotes for you!!

[Sammy is played by me, Joey is played by Boo (inkyvendingmachine), Henry is played by Maf (inkcryptid), Jack is played by Mochi (whatyouwantedmetosee) and Thren (haunted-hijinxer) is our GM!]

[GM] It kind of jolts, and turns – assumedly – towards you, [Sammy] *laughs* YOU CAN’T TELL which direction it’s looking in, just, IT HAS MOVED

[GM] And some tentacles are gonna come at you guys! Like they do. [Jack] #JustTentacleThings

[Joey] This IS Joey’s arm, which means if it does get destroyed by the circle, Joey’s going to be missing an arm…! [Jack] I can fix it, it’s fine, [GM] It’s fine! Yeah! [Sammy] How many limbs would you like to be made of ink, Joey Drew?! [Joey] I dunno if he’s gonna have a CHOICE! [Sammy] You’re going to have fewer working limbs than Moonlight.

[Sammy] These guys might all be those goop people, who are harder to fight than humans – [Henry] I don’t think Henry’s thinking about that. I think Henry just heard Bendy and Joey scream and is in Go Mode. [Sammy] Well-- [Henry] I mean, it’s a smart thought! I don’t think Henry’s having it right now.

[Sammy] Leon, if you want to surprise us all and do something really heroic, PLEASE go for it [Jack] I thought you were going to say “please DON’T” [GM] “Don’t be a hero!!” [Sammy] No no, I think it’s fine, if he wants to be a hero, I think he should do it. [Joey] I mean, if he wants to grab Colette and RUN, that would be great, [Sammy] Yeah, nobody can DRAIN INK out of HIM! [Jack] Unless we’re about to learn something,

[Sammy] No, wait, that was Colette’s parents. I can keep all my minor NPCs straight! [Jack] Straight? In this campaign?! [Sammy] *startled laugh* [GM] Tell me about it…! [Sammy] We can’t keep ANY of our NPCs straight! We’re fundamentally terrible at it.

[Jack] I’m imagining it like, you know when you try to use an item in the wrong place in pokemon? [Joey] THE MASKED MESSENGER SAYS: IT ISN’T THE TIME TO USE THAT!

[Joey] Hold on. I was going between two normal ideas, and then I had a really weird one, so I need to check something. [GM] Joey? Making bad decisions in the finale of a scenario? What a thought! [Joey] hIS SANITY IS NINETEEN, SO!!!!

[Joey] Okay. I have an idea. >:3 [Sammy] Oh NO. [Henry] Oh no. Have you got a Joey Plan™? [Joey] *cackling* [Sammy] *muttering under breath* We really should’ve just… waited for Henry…

[Joey] Joey is going to realise the ink is being siphoned from them for use in whatever this guy is trying to do, and he’s not pleased about that, [Sammy] Yeah, neither am I. So far we’re on the same page – [Joey] It’s HIS ink–! [Sammy] It, it’s not – okay. [Joey] So, remember when Joey was visited by the Masked Messenger, and they had the little battle over ink possession? Joey is going to take over the Ink in the circle -- [Sammy] OKAY! This SURE is a Joey Drew™ Plan, [Joey] -- and reclaim it for himself, and take over the magic! [Sammy] Well, the LAST time we had a circle dedicated to doing something with the Yellow King, and Joey switched it to be himself instead, that went SO well, why WOULDN’T you do the same thing again!! [Joey] Listen, he has 19 sanity, I don’t know what you’re expecting from him. *rolls* …….He has 18 sanity, I don’t know what you’re expecting from him!

[Henry] Henry is going to shove the blade of his axe against this guy’s throat and tell him if he does anything fishy, he’ll kill him. [Joey] (This includes turning into a fish.) [Joey] (No more tentacle monsters, no more fish monsters, none of that!)

[Henry] 32, which is a hard success. [Sammy] …What’s your intimidate skill?!? [GM] Oh, y’know, :) [Henry] 85. [Sammy] *nervous laughter???* [Jack] Normal amount. [Henry] Normal amount! [Sammy] YEAH, the same number as Sammy’s musical skill??? OKAY COOL!!!

[Sammy] Does Sammy look like his mascara is running? I just want to know.

[Joey] Can I… *quietly* ...grab Colette and toss her out of the circle? [Sammy] … YEET HER? [Joey] yEAH,,, [Henry] Can’t be more damage than falling over a fence. *everyone giggles except for Sammy* [Sammy] …Okay.

[Sammy] I can’t believe Joey is stealing Prophet’s nemesis. Rude. [GM] I mean, Joey DID stab Moonlight. They can share! [Joey] …I don’t know if they can share. They’ve been doing very bad at sharing.

[Jack] Also she’s not an ink creature, so, big win for you, Leon!

[Sammy] It grabbed me in the leg, right? [GM] Yeah! This is the cool leg scar. [GM] Not to be confused with the not-cool leg scar, [Jack] He’s just never going to live that down, huh. [Sammy] He COULD, if everyone would stop bringing it up! [GM] Sammy wakes up and hopes dearly that Prophet tripped over a fence so at least it’s both of them, but no…

[Joey] So – hold on, let me see if a thing existed back then. [GM] Oh boy…? [Joey] 18th century. Great! Okay, so I’m going to drain the rest of my magic points, to do a new toon action – you know those, circular saw blades? [GM] BUZZSAWS???

[Henry] Henry’s gonna do something suuuuuper risky,,, [Henry] He’s going to drop the axe and summon the scythe. [Sammy] ….OKAY, [Joey] Okay…! I’m very curious what’s going to happen if Henry uses the scythe on the mirror. [Henry] Oh, I wasn’t thinking that. [Sammy] UM, [GM] This is fine, this is great! [Sammy] Nervous chuckle, I’m in danger, [Henry] Henry is going to say “Sammy, duck!” and, swing the scythe [Sammy] OH, OKAY, I WILL DO THAT, [GM] Make a dodge roll! [Sammy] OhhhHHH THAT’S NOT GOOD… THAT’S NICE, BUT IT’S NOT GOOD,,,, My dodge is 55 and I rolled a 69, [Joey] Nice [GM] Nice! [Henry] And since it’s in close quarters, I’m guessing it’ll go through both of them. [GM] Yeah! Roll damage! [Sammy] CAN I,,,, PUSH THAT ROLL MAYBE,,, [GM] [GM] No. :) [Henry] *cackles*

[Jack] THAT’S trauma for future Sammy!!

[Jack] He’s gonna see if Sammy’s okay! See what’s going on. [Sammy] Sammy still looks pretty shaken up, and will tell him, “Stay back my sheep – I will join you soon.” [Henry] “I’m not going to hurt him!” [Sammy] jUST GIVES HENRY A LOOK,

[Sammy] So that’s seven damage! [GM] Okay! You see that the shadowy figure on the other side is ALSO trying to hit the mirror. [Sammy] Huh. Can I tell anything about the shadowy figure, now that I’m right up next to the mirror? [GM] Yeah! :) Uh, looks kinda familiar. It’s maybe somebody you’ve seen before. [Jack] yEAH I thought it might be,,, [Sammy] ��wait, what? [GM] Maybe somebody… last scenario… [Jack] Who’s in Carcosa… and wants to break the mirror… [GM] Yeah, someone like that maybe! [Sammy] ………….. Is it… is it Moonlight…? [GM] Yeah! Yeah it is! ...Anyway, the mirror breaks. :)

*successful dexterity check to avoid getting knocked over* [GM] Okay, you keep your feet! [Sammy] Thanks, I like my feet.

[Joey] Joey is going to start scanning for his people, who LEFT HIM while he was being thrown around by tentacles, [Sammy] You were a great distraction, thank you. [Jack] You’ve gotta keep a better eye on your people, one of them just stabbed another! [Joey] EVERYONE ABANDONED ME! [Sammy] I TOLD YOU WHAT I WAS DOING! [Joey] Oh, yeah, no, Prophet gets a pass. Everyone else ran off, and – [Henry] YOU LEFT HENRY! [Joey] ….eh, ‘strue. [Joey] …Left Henry with others! [GM] Bendy’s still there! [Joey] Yeah. Bendy’s got me. [Sammy] Joey, any time he’s trying to leave by himself: “No, I’m never alone, I’m with Bendy!” Joey, as soon as we figure he’s fine, because he’s with Bendy: “HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME ALL ALONE?!” [Jack] Betrayed, Abandoned,

[Joey] And the water is coming in fast, [Henry] These people are going to have SUCH a mold problem when we’re done…

[Joey] Does Bendy have any magic points…? [Sammy] “I spent all of mine turning my arms into buzzsaws!” [Jack] As you do!

[Sammy] Poor Leon. I’m so sorry. You’re going to have to go straight into an asylum.

[GM] You’re pretty sure you’re not in Carcosa. [Jack] Okay, good. I needed to know if Jack would be panicking about things… [GM] He’s got plenty to panic about, but that one is currently good!

[GM] I wonder if Sammy… from Sammy’s point of view, Jack was driving when he lost consciousness, and then he’s still driving when he comes back! Like… he doesn’t even know they went to Coney Island, I don’t think? [Sammy] No, I guess not! Joey was just like “I know where they’re taking Colette” [Sammy] And now we’re going back to the Studio so it’s like, I guess we got Colette! And got wet, for some reason! [Jack] At least he didn’t end up seeing The Great Bertrum Piedmont. [Sammy] There are SO many things it’s good that he didn’t end up seeing.

[GM] Bendy is going to chime in that it was busy, but they went to an amusement park! [Joey] Joey’s going to correct him that they did NOT go to an amusement park. That was not what that is. [GM, as Bendy] “That’s what you said it was last time we went!” [Joey] “Was it like last time we went?!” [GM] He’ll think about that, go quiet for a minute, and then be like, “No, I guess not, huh!” [Joey] “EXACTLY.” [GM, as Bendy] “Yeah, he’s right, we didn’t!” [Sammy] Hm. Hmmmm. Sammy’s squinting at you both.

[Sammy] He might still cough up blood, just not embarrassingly so. Just, in a cool way!

[Henry] Henry will… “pull” is too strong of a word? But Henry will… physically encourage Joey to step back from the circle.

[Sammy] Ehhhhh, I don’t have a lot of hitpoints… [Joey] Who needs hitpoints? [Sammy] I do, I need them!!

[GM] *rolls* …hm. *mumbling to self* What do I do with that…? [Sammy] Troubling reaction! [GM] ….huh…. [Joey] Not getting less troubling!

[Henry] I don’t want to keep using the scythe spell, but it keeps presenting itself as the best option! [Joey] DO YOU HAVE, ANY OTHER OPTIONS,, FIRST???? [Henry] These things have a bajillion HP! [Sammy] I mean, you COULD do the scythe thing, but maybe don’t hit anybody else with it! [Jack] I think you should hit Sammy with it again. [Sammy] NO I DON’T THINK YOU SHOULD

[Henry] Well, my strength is higher… oh no, it’s not, I’ve been doing too much mAGIC, [Sammy] That’s what happens when you do the scythe spell constantly!!! [Henry] Uggghhhhhhh... [Sammy] “Been doing too much scythe spell, better do some more scythe spell!”

[Joey] Do we have any bonus dice left? [Sammy] *sarcastically* Well! If we end up at the hotel, I DID scout it out ahead of time!

[GM] And Joey is feeling all the way better, except for all the ways that he is not!

[Henry] I just want to say, I did not expect Weird Henry to go on for FOUR SESSIONS. [Sammy] He went out with a bang, too, sliced a scythe RIGHT THROUGH THE PROPHET, [Henry] Yeah, everything has been working out so great!

#sammy lawrence #prophet sammy #susie campbell #sammy x susie #allison and henry are here too #call of cthulhu: haunted hijinx #when in doubt just keep drawing #cthulhu game quotes #paper texture from lostandtaken.com

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imtryingmybeskar · 2 years ago

Text

Come Home Chapter Six. Joel Miller x F! Reader.

Welp, if you've made it this far thank you so much! The Joel stuff really kicks off from here (just in time for the start of the series!) and we see the first glimmers of hope for our reader.

Warnings for anxiety and a panic attack, past trauma, PTSD. And Joel being super sweet and caring despite the AWKWARD conversation.

Word count: 4946

Come Home

Chapter Six - Against The Grain

Joel’s face is concerned, the lines on his brow deepened by his furrowing. He’s never been this close and you’re suddenly very aware of the height difference between you.

“You okay?” he says without preamble. “I was knockin’ for quite a while.”

“Uh…ummm…yeah. Yeah I’m okay,” you manage to force out.

“You sure?” he presses, and when you look up at him you know he can see the spark of anxiety behind your eyes.

You blink. Sigh a breath. Force yourself to relax. “I’m fine,” you say, more assuredly.

“Well good,” Joel says somewhat distractedly. He’s not looking at your face, instead his gaze is fixed slightly lower and you don’t realise why until he speaks again, a slight levity to his tone this time. “Worried about a home invasion? I meant what I said you know, this is a nice neighbourhood.”

Shit. You hadn’t even realised you were still holding the kitchen knife. Or remembered the gun at your hip. And –

You press your lips together in embarrassment as you switch off your torch.

“Sorry,” you offer in a small voice. “Didn’t mean to blind you. Or threaten you.” Joel gives that sweet half smile you’ve come to enjoy, but before he can comment on your peculiarities you find yourself asking if he would like to come inside and move back into the house so he can do just that.

“Thank you,” he says gratefully. “The snow’s stopped but it’s still mighty cold.”

He steps inside and glances around – a habit you know very well is born less of curiosity and more of decades of needing to be cautious in new spaces. His gaze settles on the fire, then on the sofa where your book is placed precariously on one arm, and a small smile touches his lips again.

“Looks like you’re settlin’ in,” he remarks.

You shut the door behind him and gesture to the sofa. “Well, I’m trying,” you admit. “Please have a seat.”

The social nicety strikes you as both hollow and faintly ridiculous, but Joel inclines his head in thanks before sitting down and beginning to take off his coat. You cross to the kitchen and place the knife back in its allocated drawer before filling the kettle again and putting it back to boil on the hob.

“Do you want some tea?” you offer as you come back into the living room.

Joel turns to face you, and you’re struck by (and quite envious of) how comfortable he looks in this environment. His coat is now draped over the other arm of the sofa, his elbow resting on top of it, long legs stretched out in front of him. Without his layers he somehow looks even more broad than before – the soft looking green plaid of his shirt tight over his shoulders and upper arms. He’s rolled up his sleeves too, giving you a view of his muscular forearms and christ its been a long time since you’ve been intimate with anyone but you’re pretty sure you shouldn’t be this excited to see them.

He saves you from having to wonder if you’re staring at him as hard as you think you are by answering your question.

“Well, I hate to be a cheeky sonofabitch, but you wouldn’t have any coffee would you?” he asks. His tone is jovial and light, a jokingly knowing undertone to his words because…well…who the fuck had coffee any more?

“I uh…I do actually,” you admit. Shit. Maybe you like this guy even more than you thought. Why the fuck are you offering him your prized possession? Though it’s almost worth it at the astonished, wide-eyed look he gives you. He really is super fucking handsome. “But you have to earn it,” you blurt out. Heat rises to your cheeks almost immediately as he raises a quizzical eyebrow at you. Probably could have phrased that better.

“Excuse me?” he asks, his voice wiped of its joking tone.

“I didn’t mean…I mean…sorry,” you splutter. “That came out wrong. What I mean is, I have a favour to ask.”

Joel sits forward, those thick forearms now resting on his knees and he gives you a wary look as he responds. “Go on."

As you struggle to articulate your request you feel a fresh heat suffuse your face. This was excruciating. It would be an embarrassing situation with anyone, but you’re managing to be extra awkward around him and it feels like your skull is transparent and he can see your stupid burgeoning crush emblazoned across every part of your mind. It doesn’t help that he is so calm and self-assured. Every word, every mannerism speaks to supreme self-possession and it makes you even more flustered.

“I…will you…please…” You stutter yourself into silence and take a deep breath. He already thinks you’re rude and a moron. Might as well add “coward” to that tally against you. “Please could you come upstairs with me?” you ask calmly, looking firmly at the curtains behind him.

No! Shit! Add to that sentence! Complete that thought!

“To check the rooms!” you add hastily, your eyes widening as you finally look at him in horror. Yup. Adding “pervert” to that list too. Good going. “I just…I know it sounds ridiculous, because you’d know if you were living next door to infected or someone that shouldn’t be here but I need to check. And I’m not used to living in such a big space. I looked into most of the rooms but- “

Your stream of words suddenly runs dry as you realise how pathetic you sound. Wanting back up to explore your own house. How fucking ludicrous.

“Sure.” His voice is warm again, and you sigh as you relax into its gentle confidence.

“Thanks. Sorry.”

He shook his head and his dimple flashed briefly before he spoke. “Nothin’ to be sorry for. I get it. Me and Ellie, we’ve only lived here for six months or so. She’s the one lives in my garage and while she’s enjoyin’ havin’ her own space, I like havin’ her close if I’m honest. But the first few weeks we were here we slept in the livin’ room together. She took the sofa, I slept on the cushions from the other chairs. It just felt right to y’know? The beds were a nice novelty. Comfortable. Warm. But actually gettin’ to sleep in them? That was another matter altogether. The nightmares don’t stop just ‘cause you’re behind walls now. And I needed to know she was next to me just as much as she needed to know I was next to her. So…I get it. You do what you need to. I’m happy to help.”

You bite your lip hard to stop it wobbling. Sweet and kind as well as pretty. You kind of wish he’d been a dick to you instead. Then perhaps you could nip this crush in the bud before it really took hold.

“You wanna bring the knife along?” he asked, only a tiny hint of teasing in his tone.

“I think the gun will suffice,” you say as you give a watery little smile. “Besides, I just gotta outrun you, right?”

He chuckles as he stands up. “Long as I get my coffee before I succumb to any bites I’ll die a happy man,” he jokes. “Want me to go first?”

You shake your head. “No, thank you. Just…having someone else here is enough.”

He nods. “Well okay then. Lead the way.”

The light is still on at the top of the stairs so going up them is not as big an ordeal than before, even less so with Joel bringing up the rear, and you begin to feel foolish again as you climb. You should be able to do this alone. After surviving for so long, you should be able to do anything. But you can’t deny that you find his presence behind you extremely comforting.

“Does this place look anything like yours?” you ask as you crest the top step. The question is more to make conversation than for any burning desire to know what his house is like, a way to delay the anxieties that you’re still fighting to keep down.

“Pretty similar,” he replies as he walks up the final few stairs and sweeps the area with that practiced glance again. “Though I think mine was modernised more recently. The décor isn’t so…80s.”

There’s that slight tease to his tone again and it brings a smile to your face despite yourself.

“It is a little dated,” you agree as you gently scuff a foot along what you now realise is a pretty hideous coral coloured carpet, sending small puffs of dust into the air as you do. “But I can forgive almost anything for a roof that doesn’t leak and hot water for a shower.”

Joel huffs a soft laugh. “Ain’t nothin’ like that first one after bein’ on the road awhile.”

“I’m looking forward to it,” you reply distantly. Your voice sounds faint to your ears as you’re suddenly very aware that you haven’t bathed properly in a while. Cold weather and lack of plumbing at your cabin meant that the best you and Chris were usually able to manage were quick wipedowns with a flannel out of a bucket. Add to that spending the previous night in a barn and the killing of two relatively fresh infected the day before…God you must stink.

You bite your lip again as shame joins the simmering anxieties in your belly and threatens to spill hot tears down your cheeks. In this world, there weren’t many opportunities for glitz and glamour and dolling yourself up. The absence of mushrooms sprouting from your face was about as good as it got. But it was cruel, you thought, that you couldn’t even privately indulge in the stupid, dopey, soft feelings you suspect you’ve started to harbour for this man without being faced with what a disgusting mess you really were.

“You alright?” Joel asks, that low comforting rumble of his voice breaking into your thoughts, and you realise you must have been staring at the carpet all this time. You nod, still biting your lip, still not looking at him, not trusting yourself to speak right now as your throat is still tight with the humilation you feel.

“This it?” he asks as he gestures to the door ahead and you nod again, oddly thankful that he seems to have mistaken your embarrassed silence for fearful silence. It feels better somehow that he thinks you would be afraid of something that isn’t there rather than knowing you’re twisting yourself up about what he thinks of your currently lacking personal hygiene.

“Well…guns at the ready,” he quips, and this time his gentle humour does draw you and you look up at him with a small, shy smile.

Before you can psyche yourself up, before you can debate with yourself as to who should actually open up the room he’s past you, grasping the door handle firmly and removing all possibility of further chickening out. The feeble hall light isn’t nearly enough to penetrate the gloom and you automatically steel yourself for a potential fight before forcing yourself to relax.

Joel steps through the doorway and flicks the light on.

Or tries to. Even though he takes up a good deal of space in the frame, you can see that the room beyond remains stubbornly dark and a thin snaking of vindication that you had asked him to accompany you up here creeps through you. Since he’s not backing away you have to assume that once again, no one infected or otherwise has managed to conceal themselves in your house.

“No bulb," he mutters half to himself as he looks up at the light fitting. "I think we’re all clear,” he adds, and a wave of gratitude hits you at the seriousness of his tone. He really does understand. “But if you wanna pass me your torch I can take a proper look around?”

“That’s okay,” you reply hurriedly, not wanting him to think you were totally helpless. “I can do a little sweep myself.”

Joel steps inside the darkened room to give you space to follow and you immediately regret your decision. The light from the hallway barely penetrates past the door, and the curtains are already closed here, so not even the light of the moon can be seen. The whole area is made up of hues of grey, shadowy shapes made of deeper blackness the only things that stand out.

Swallowing your fear, you step inside the room and flick your torch back on, directing it at the floor so you don’t accidentally shine it at Joel again. The carpet here is a soft grey colour and whether that was how it looked originally, or the result of years of dust having settled into it you cannot tell. You raise the beam of light slowly up and it travels across to the curved wooden bottom of a rocking chair, the peeling paint that coats it some sort of light pastel shade under the dirt. The gleam of gloss paint. The skeletal nature of the slatted wooden back makes you uncomfortable in a way you can’t quite define, and that feeling grows and sharpens to something you do recognise when you see that the angled centre of a decrepit nursing pillow is hooked over one armrest.

You turn the beam away hurriedly, wanting to finish your investigation in a way that will be thorough enough that you can sleep at night, brief enough that unpleasant memories won’t have time to crowd you, and some way that doesn’t make you look even more jittery in front of Joel. Then you can get out of here and never open this door again. The torchlight sweeps up and over the walls, and now you can see the faded but still intact wallpaper that decorates the place – animated elephants holding umbrellas in primary colours as they frolick through raindrops and puddles. Cartoon toadstools with faces smiling back at you. The remains of some educational posters can be seen too; ABC’s, 123’s, farm animals and the noises they supposedly make.

A buzzing is surfacing in your ears, as if a swarm of angry hornets is closing in on your location. You can almost feel the vibration of it rattling through you, brimming in your skull and you grip the torch tighter as you swallow again around a dry mouth and a distinctly sickly feeling. That’s enough. You know what this place once was. Get out of here.

As you turn to do just that, the beam cuts across the space to your left and lands upon a crib, projecting shadows of the bars at its side hugely against the wall behind it. The sight is so stark that it halts you momentarily. A cage on wheels. The mobile of cartoon giraffes above it twists gently in the disturbed air from where you have come in. You can’t breathe. The corridor stretches away ahead of you as it does every night, as it always will, and you can’t breathe. The gas mask obscures your vision, narrowing it to a pinprick view, spores in the torchlight floating around you like dust motes in a sunbeam-

“Whoa, whoa, easy now.” A gentle voice. Strong arms. Warmth at your shoulders. “Look at me.”

All you can see is the carpet, a halo of light around your feet and you realise you’re bent double with your hands resting on your knees as you gulp for air.

He’s speaking again. His voice is coming from so far away, hidden behind the wall of buzzing. But its insistent, firm. Not inclined to take no for an answer. “I said look at me.”

Exhaling deeply one last time you draw yourself up and stand in front of him. He has one large hand on each of your shoulders, reassuring you with bodily contact, saturating you with his warmth. A tiny, stunted part of you wishes you could take more pleasure in his touch before the shame and sorrow begins to creep in, as it always does after one of these episodes. Feelings that you should be able to cope, that you’re being ridiculous, that you wouldn’t be surprised if he never wanted to see you again and that he would keep Ellie away from your weakness too.

You look up and his face fills your world. Those dark eyes, a strong curve to his nose, a whiskery chin. “You’re okay,” he’s saying. “Just look at me. Listen to my voice. Breathe.” Those are instructions you can obey. His face is so pleasant to look at, his voice rich and soothing. You can breathe. You do it all the time. In and out. In and out. You realise he’s the one speaking after a few moments. “In and out. That’s it. You’re doin’ great.”

Fuck all of this.

“What?” Joel is watching intently, the furrow back at his brow as he regards you, and you realise you must have spoken out loud. Oh well.

“Fuck all of this,” you enunciate quietly, as the whirl of anxiety and fear suddenly abandons you, leaving you feeling exhausted. A quizzical look passes over Joel’s face before it transmutes briefly to a piercing gaze, as if he is trying to get the measure of you. Then it softens to understanding and he nods.

“You wanna get outta here.” It’s a statement not a question and you nod tersely before breaking away from his soft grip and marching back out of the room and down the stairs on wobbly legs. You hear Joel close the door to the nursery before he follows you back down to the lower level of the house.

The kettle is just starting to whistle shrilly as you enter the kitchen once more. You had almost forgotten that coffees were on the agenda, but now find yourself grateful for the distraction and begin to prepare the cups with shaking hands.

It didn’t exactly come as a surprise that one of the rooms was for a child. After all, you knew before you chose this house that these had been family homes. And it wasn’t like you hadn’t seen a thousand kid’s rooms over the years �� some abandoned, some with horrendous and heartbreaking scenes within. But having it so close at hand was hard. You didn’t want a reminder like that. Not in your own house, your supposed fresh start. Not when you’d been congratulating yourself on starting to put the nightmares to bed. It seemed unfair that you had survived so long and yet could so easily be derailed by such a seemingly small thing.

“Hey.” Joel’s warm, bassy tones come from somewhere behind you and break into your thoughts. “Was uh…was that what you were expectin’ to find in there?”

“It wasn’t a bloater. So it’s a good day,” you shrug, keeping your back to him and your voice carefully neutral as you avoid the question.

You hear him huff a gentle laugh. “That’s true,” he agrees. “But uh…you okay?”

“Yep,” you answer, trying to put a note of finality into the short reply. Time to change the subject. “How do you take your coffee?” you ask as you grab the silver tin from the cupboard above you and measure some of the contents carefully into two mugs.

“Black. No sugar. Wait, do we even have any sugar in Jackson right now? It doesn’t matter. No sugar.” Though you hadn’t known him for very long, you had still never heard such excitement in Joel’s voice before. Clearly this coffee was very, very dear to him.

“Black, no sugar,” you confirm as you turn and hand him the steaming mug.

He takes the mug and inhales deeply over it. His eyes close in bliss and a tiny smile quirks the corner of his lips. “Oh man,” he sighs longingly. “Its been a while since I had any kind of coffee and this smells amazing. Thank you.”

“No, thank you,” you reply, raising your own mug toward him. Before he can ask you anything more about what had just transpired in the nursery you jump in with “Come sit down, get comfortable. And then you can tell me what your Starbucks order used to be. I reckon you’re a triple caramel shot half foam extra whipped cream sprinkles on top kinda guy.”

You make your way over to the couch and place your coffee on the table before sitting in the seat opposite where he had vacated. Not too close. But close enough. You hear him chuckle as he moves to take his spot once again.

“You got me,” he grins. “I loved those sugar monstrosities. And Sarah, she-“

He draws up short, his eyes flickering with sadness and his body language becoming immediately closed off as his words abruptly stop. With the gentlest of touches he absent-mindedly caresses the face of the watch on his wrist and its only now that you notice that its broken - cracked and chipped and with two big holes marring the plastic covering. Shit. You hadn’t meant to unleash any kind of painful memories. But that’s all that most people had these days. A few seconds of awkward silence tick by as you desperately try to think of something, anything to steer the conversation back into lighter topics, but he beats you to it when he shakes his head almost imperceptibly and speaks again.

“I’m Joel, by the way. I know we’ve seen each other a coupla times but I don’t think I ever actually introduced myself. As mentioned before my lodger, guitar student, and all round pain in my ass is Ellie.”

He holds out his hand and you take it, noting how it completely swamps your own. His palms are warm and dry, his skin softer than you’d expected, fingers long and thick and – fuck you should be saying something right now, instead of fixating on his hands. You open your mouth to introduce yourself but he’s speaking again.

“I know who you are. Maria briefed me and Tommy about your group last night. We’ve had some trouble here recently. Its why you were guarded overnight. Nothin’ personal. We just can’t afford to take risks with what’s been built here. So…Maria has said that when people arrive they need to be screened more thoroughly for the time bein’.”

“What kind of trouble?” you ask, frowning. “If you can tell me. I know its none of my business really.”

“It’s your business as much as anyone’s if you’re gonna be livin’ here with us,” Joel says gently, and “But uh…can I have my hand back first? I really wanna drink this coffee.”

“Oh shi-“ you exclaim as you hurriedly release him. “Sorry.”

“You can stop apologisin’,” he says kindly. “I know what its like after bein’ outside for a while, but take my word for it – you can relax here.” He picks up the mug before adding in a quieter voice, “That’s easier said than done, I know. But if you do wanna talk about anything you can. Do you…do you wanna talk about what happened upstairs?”

A hot lance of anger pierces you through. “You wanna talk about your watch?” The bitter, spiteful, defensive words slip out before you can stop them and you press your lips together as if you could take them back if only you could make your mouth small enough. Fuck. You hadn’t meant to be so cruel when he had been nothing but kind. His eyes immediately narrow, darken in anger and his mouth twists as his jaw sets angrily. You drop your eyes to your lap in shame.

“I’m sorry,” you say again. “And this time I do need to say it. That was rude. And unnecessary.” You sigh, trying to find the words that might fix this. “I-I can’t talk about it. Its not even about wanting to I…I just can’t. But thank you. For not judging me. I’ll sleep better thanks to you.” You hope the lie will help him feel better.

Silence reigns for a few moments, then when he speaks again Joel’s voice is soft once more and you risk raising your eyes to his face. It’s closed, pinched with sorrow, but no longer angry and that's probably more than you deserve.

“Well I’m sorry too. I shouldn't have pushed you on it. And it was a dumb thing to ask anyway. After tellin’ you you’re safe now and to relax…no one needs to relive…” He trails off, then begins again. “Guess I’m just used to tryin’ to pry out how Ellie’s feelin’ about...well anything. The world’s all but ended but teenagers are still the same.” He chuckles hollowly before taking a swig of coffee.

“So…what happened? Here I mean,” you enquire, trying to move on from your indiscretions.

“Had a group of twelve come in a coupla months back. In a bad way. All clean of infection but malnourished and…well you know what its like. Some of ‘em wouldn’t talk, wandering around like…well like zombies. The Romero kind, y’know.” It’s a feeble joke but you smile nonetheless. Perhaps he could forgive you for the awful thing you had said.

“Maria put ‘em up, gave ‘em food, welcomed them. A lot like you, except they were put in houses straight away, allowed to keep their weapons, not monitored. I guess they thought we were soft, livin’ here behind our walls with our electricity and supplies. The third night they were here they tried to take the place by force. Twelve against a whole town. Doesn’t seem like good odds. But they had the advantages of surprise and desperation. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you, that can be mighty effective."

You nod your understanding and agreement and he continues. “They killed five of our people before we got ‘em under control. Three of theirs were killed in the fighting, the other nine…well me ‘n Tommy drove ‘em a hundred miles or so out and dropped em in a town out there.”

“You let them go?” you ask, a little incredulously.

“Maria and Tommy did. I was all for disposin’ of them there and then, but they insisted.” He took another swig of coffee, and you followed suit. “Don’t think they’ll be botherin’ us again though. We made a helluva noise as we left. And its hard to run when you’re hogtied and blindfolded. Still…” He trailed off again and you found yourself agreeing with his unspoken sentiment. It was always better to be sure. “But that’s why I near broke down your door earlier. Needed to know you weren’t uhhh…up to anything.”

“Oh, I won’t be causing trouble,” you confirm. “I know a good thing when I see it. And I barely know the others. I just met them on the road here.”

“Well, I can’t lie. The coffee has gone a long way to get you into the good books,” he twinkled. “And Ellie seems to like you.”

“She seems sweet,” you reply.

“Don’t let those innocent eyes fool ya,” Joel chuckles. “When I said she’s a pain in my ass I meant it.” His eyes soften further as he speaks about her, his love and affection for the girl plain to see upon his grizzled face. “Speaking of…” He drains the last of his coffee, stands and stretches. “I’d better get back. If I don’t cook, she doesn’t eat. Too used to living out of tins.” You stand too, suddenly struck shy at how close and imposing he is in front of you.

“It was nice to have you here,” you say, and find yourself meaning it as more than a mere pleasantry. “Come by again if you want. Though I can’t promise coffee every time!”

He quirks a thoughtful eyebrow and raises his eyes to the ceiling, tapping his finger on his chin as if deep in contemplation. “Without the coffee…I’ll have to think about it,” he replies, but you can hear the joking in his tone. He puts on his coat and you walk him to the door. The icy blast of frigid winter air that invades as you open it makes you shiver and feel extremely grateful for the strength of the four walls around you and the fire you have built.

As he steps over the threshold Joel turns back to you, his face serious once more. “Are you sure you’ll be alright?” he asks, and the grave concern in his voice sends a flood of warmth through your chest. You don’t know. You just don’t know if you’ll be alright. But he has Ellie to think of, and himself. He doesn’t need to worry about you too.

“I’ll be fine,” you say, hopeful that you’re being truthful. “You’ve helped me out a lot. Thank you.”

The house feels much emptier without him, but the warmth his care and empathy have inspired linger, and you find yourself with a small smile upon your face as you settle back into the cosiness of your sofa and open your book again.

“Well, that’s what neighbours are for,” he replies more cheerily. “I’ll see you around.” And with a final nod he departs from your porch and heads back to his own house. You watch him go, raise an arm in acknowledgement when you see him open the front door, his silhouette stark against the lights inside his own home.

Next chapter

Taglist - @thisshipwillsail316 @prostitute-robot-from-the-future @elegantduckturtle @dihra-vesa @midwesternwitchery @just-here-for-the-moment @eri16 @readsalot73 @littlemisspascal @princessxkenobi @harriedandharassed @pagannightwitch @tentacruels @kirsteng42 @shirks-all-responsibilities @deadhumourist @pedrostories

#come home #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fanfic #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #joel tlou x reader #joel tlou x female reader #joel tlou x f! reader #joel tlou x you #joel tlou fanfiction #joel tlou fanfic

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electricbluebutterflies · 1 year ago

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leto fixing jessica's hair/clothes just before they rush out the door

Three different people sent me this prompt so here we are. Modern AU / equivalent to late-era, PG-ish, also on ao3.

They’re going to be late. Worse, it’s her fault.

Jessica knows how these evenings go, how the slightest social misstep will ripple out and cause legitimate problems. The fact that she is not an involved parent by the standards of her son’s school has already been an issue this year, and apparently a certain species of divorcee doesn’t have the sense to ring-check before they try anything, and-

“You’re overthinking this,” her husband says, perched on the edge of their bed and watching out of… she’s not sure what emotion is dominant right now. Worry, probably, always worry, always-

“Either help me or go away.”

She’s trying to do better lately – it feels like she’s always trying to do better – but there are things she’s not good at. This month-into-the-school-year open house, for example, which always feels like a circle of hell for her, nothing but judgmental glances and maybe if she’s really lucky some oh-you-do-exist comment or two and-

“You’re on your fourth dress. I’m not sure-“

“This needs to be perfect. I need to be perfect.”

If she felt like she had a fairer choice, she’d aim for invisibility instead – she knows what colors make her blend into the walls, and she’s tried them already, and they don’t look right, not for this, not for-

“You’ll look fine whatever you decide. Whenever that happens.”

She twirls around to glare at her husband, trying to put all her emotions into things she won’t say because they’ll escalate too easily. “’Fine’ is not what I’m aiming for,” she hisses.

“Jess-“

“Don’t. Not right now. It’s either I look perfect or you get inappropriate comments every time you deal with these people when I’m not within reach for months and-“

“You have nothing to worry about. None of them are my type.”

There are days she’s amazed she is, she wants to say. This feels like one of them, indecisive veering too close to anxious, running late and fine the good thing about an open-house event is one doesn’t have to be on time but on the other hand she’s not into crossing a parking lot in heels and-

“Help?”

Onto dress number five, dark ocean blue with a zipper she hates doing on her own, and what’s the point of having a partner if she can’t ask for the occasional favor, and-

“I can feel your mind vibrating.”

“Not possible. My hair isn’t up yet.”

“It’s just an hour or two… you haven’t threatened not to go yet…”

“What, and ruin our son’s chances of making whatever social connections won’t stick past the first round of high-school-sweetheart weddings?”

“Like you care.”

She tilts her head and rolls her eyes, reminding herself that they never aim to wound, this is not who they are, this has never been who they are, this is not-

“You do,” she murmurs. “And that means I have to shut up and-“

“Overthinking.”

“Well aware and not helpful.”

“Not sure how else to-“

“I’m not asking you to calm me down.” Her hands slip up to where his is still anchored at the base of her neck, and she knows this is not the hard part, not anymore, not-

“I know. You’ll get through like you always do and then we’ll get home and you’ll pounce and-“

“Don’t give me ideas, love.”

She takes a step away from him and twists her hair up into a spiral bun, elegant and out of the way and oh that description could apply too much to her entire life, and-

“We’ll get through,” he repeats. “As long as you don’t threaten anyone…”

“That happened once, and I had my reasons…”

“I’m pretty sure it was more than once.”

“What you don’t know won’t hurt you.”

The look he gives her doesn’t feel like agreement, but-

“Maybe there are advantages to how possessive you are.”

“You mean just slightly less of a bitch if you can hear me.”

“Something like that?”

She leans in and takes a heartbeat of a kiss, a promise of endings and motivations. “I can redo my lipstick in the car. This all look okay?”

“Yes. More than okay.”

“At least I know one person’s on my side…”

“Always.”

(They are, by technicalities, just slightly late but not enough that it matters.)

(Jessica does not threaten anyone, but she’s definitely not leaving the kid at that zoo for high school next year. That opens up a whole new world of private-school options, some of which are far enough out of current orbits that none of the other parents will have any idea about that one time a few years back that she tried to fight a peewee soccer ref.)

(Hopefully.)

#ebf writes fic #leto x jessica #queue

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udo0stories · 7 months ago

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Never be afraid of shadows. They just indicate that there is a light shining in the area." Renkel, Ruth E. I believed I had a serious problem before I began to heal from my anxiety. Every panic attack, every dreadful morning, and every social gathering I would psychologically brace myself for made me feel as though I lacked something that no one else possessed. When I worked as a grocery store cashier, I avoided socializing with customers twenty-four hours prior to my shift. Yes. That implies that I would not spend Friday afternoon and evening with anyone if I worked on Saturday morning. Why? I had to get myself "ready" for my grocery store entry-level job. I felt like everyone was watching to see if I could go an hour without smiling, and I had to "make sure I felt okay." I was harshly critical of myself and believed that I was worthless to the world if I was not filled with optimism. Additionally, if I did not radiate confidence at all times, people would assume I was not good enough. Upon embarking on my quest to overcome my anxiety, I discovered several life experiences that had significantly impacted my inner world. One of them happened at a dance competition in which I participated when I was younger. I joined a Bhangra group when I was around ten years old. Bhangra is a kind of folk dance that has its roots in Punjab, India. When you see a performance of bhangra, you can tell that the dancers are exuberant and smiling broadly. Bhangra is a very energetic dance form. This is a crucial portion of the show since you want the audience to enjoy themselves, so you need to bring this much energy to the stage. My group had just finished a performance at one of my dance competitions, and the judges were prepared to give their piece. All of the judges were very complimentary, with the exception of one who chose to draw attention to a weakness in my own portion of the performance. "You," he said, pointing to me, younger Raman, "did not seem to be smiling so wide. Everyone did such an amazing job and were smiling so big and having fun," he said. Why did that occur?" My heart stopped as a ten-year-old because every single eye in that auditorium was staring at me. To be honest, I do not think I said much in response, but I cannot quite recall what I said. It was "chill," as best I could. It was probably just a shrug and an "I do not know" as my soul slowly poured out of me in embarrassment before my dance group and I eventually left the stage. We were enjoying ourselves during this dance competition because we were young. We were not even attempting to impress the judges, much less win a national championship. The criticism from that one judge ended up lowering my spirits, even though we did wind up winning a prize. It really affected me to be the one singled out among the group. Our minds may not know why we might grow older with certain fears and anxieties, but the child who went through that suffering is still a part of us. Additionally, the judge from a dance competition takes on the role of an inner judge who assesses us prior to a cashier shift. "Grow your smile!" he exclaims. Both the little and the large painful moments are what stay with us. Even though, as adults, we might think, "Oh, it was just one thing someone said; that is not a big deal," to that little child, it certainly was. It is very significant! This brings me to the first misconception about anxiety that we have: that there is a problem with us. There is nothing wrong with you if anxiety of any kind has ever occurred to you. Your internal system is, in fact, operating precisely as intended! We develop an inner judge to "fix" what went wrong (in this case, not smiling big enough at the dance performance) in order to hopefully prevent having someone criticize us from the outside (at work) and avert a potential future "threat" (in this case, the embarrassment from the judge in my story). Our inner world functions strangely, but it does its duty. It is true that

if you mentally prepare yourself for a big smile at work for twenty-four hours prior to a work shift, you will probably smile big at work, and no one will criticize you for being a downer. You no longer have the energy to give it your all when things start to get really tough. When your inner critic makes you feel inadequate, it gets particularly difficult. It’s usually around this time that people start looking for some help, because even though their inner world is doing its job, it becomes exhausting to keep up with it. This brings me to the second misconception about anxiety, which is that it is a lifelong condition. Many people think that a label you receive from someone has to stick with you for the rest of your life. Not me, though. For example, I made the decision to change my anxiety for the better and to take the necessary steps to treat it when my doctor diagnosed me with moderate generalized anxiety disorder. There is no need to "cope" with anxiety. A young woman who was one of my clients recently exclaimed, "Oh, yay, another coping mechanism!" when I suggested a tool. Even though she was eager to try something new, I had to be honest with her and tell her that she could change her anxiety rather than just learn to live with it. Recognizing the dominant thoughts in your mind is the first step towards changing your fears. Frequently, the anxiety is brought on by overly critical thoughts. We can then inquire as to the source of these thoughts once we become conscious of them. You have a backstory for your anxiety, just as I do! Although there are frequently multiple origin stories—a collection of origin stories—it is helpful to begin with one. You will shift more the more willing you are to change and the more open you are to healing through your story. You do not have to live your life in constant control of your anxiety. It can even function as a passenger. This brings us to the third and last myth concerning anxiety: the idea that healing requires constant tranquility and the total absence of anxiety. The truth is that anxiety has occasionally surfaced during my six years of recovery. I spent weeks being a nervous wreck when I first started offering workshops. When I am trying something new, I still get nervous, but my reaction is different. The process of healing gives us strength that enables us to act and behave differently in the world. Despite my intense nervousness about taking risks in my career, I found the inner strength to pursue it! That is because my life is no longer driven by anxiety. It turned into a welcomed traveler. The fact is, I do not want to throw her out of the car if her experiences and that inner child are the source of her anxiety. I should make a safe place in my life for that little girl. I greet anxiety when it manifests itself. I talk to her, I journal in her voice, and I reassure her that everything will be alright. I tell her that I will be the one to empower and encourage her, that I am not that judge from that day on. She is free to join me at any time on this journey. And it would be a pleasure if she could travel with me. I am here to reveal to her the full extent of the magic within. I am here to help her recognize the qualities and abilities she possesses that no one else can take away. She is a welcome passenger, and I will steer the vehicle in the direction of our mutual benefit. I have learned to be kinder to myself, to see the person behind their mask, and to be a living example of inner peace as a result of my experience with anxiety and the healing that followed. It is possible that the more trying times in our lives also mold us into the people we were destined to be.

#PersonalDevelopment #Anxiety #Healing #Myths #Popular

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khadijahelbesbeesy · 11 months ago

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Last time I sat down with you. It was a bit chilly and you wanted to see me. We talked and I remember watching your face as you take off and put on your glasses over and over again you probably did it thrice in fifteen minutes. You fidget with a Pepsi can and you tell me you’re over caffeinated and simultaneously too tired. You’re recovering from a cold. I look nice. I am at my skinniest ever, probably around 52 kilograms. This is a very stark difference from ten months ago when I was almost 75. Watching your face, you were so manly looking. I remember thinking you’re not as ugly as people think. And that you look better without your glasses. They’re new. Not the ones that fell apart as I passed them to you on a summer night. Yoy invite your friend over and it seems very scripted you make us talk and then you break it up. You stare at me as I stand up to wear my jacket. I tell you I have to leave. I say that I was just supposed to be here for my laptop band that it should have taken 20 minutes. Instead I have been with you for almost two hours. You laugh it off. You beg me to stay. I play hard to get. I say that I kind of need to go. You say that you don’t feel too well and you want me around. I roll my eyes but I digress. I reach out and hold your wrists and you let me. I tell that you’re going to be okay and I rub your shoulder. You check the time on my phone. I don’t remember what time it was but you propose an extra ten minutes. Before you start to beg I sit down and you tell me that you didn’t think I would let out that easy. You ask me why. I blush. I give an arbitrary reason. In retrospect, I get it. You get a bit serious. You ask me how am I. I tell you that I’m okay and that I’m doing well at uni. You shrug you tell me that you want the truth and that it’s okay to tell you that I’m not doing great. I don’t give in. This results in more direct questioning about my health and friendships. I sense tension and so do you so it quickly dissolves. I get up and I rub your shoulder once again. You’re such a sweet boy I wouldn’t wish for more. You look disappointed as I leave. I pretend to not let it get to me. Habibi this was 14 months ago. I haven’t sat for that long with you since. If anything happened between us please god fix it. I was and still am very dumb and young. Mina it’s like two years later and I’m still not the age you were when you decided to confess. I really don’t understand what went wrong or why you decided that this would be our last conversation. Or why you moved on so fast. But please god fix it. Please god show us back to each other. I have thought about you every night since that one night in the summer. You possess every passing moment in my mind. The possibility that you at the very least felt this at some point is very strong.

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bowiebond · 2 years ago

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AU where right after Billy crashes, he’s about to have a good old angry cry over his baby, he’s about to touch the goop on his cracked window and be lured away by his own curiosity, when he’s blinded by headlights.

“Oh my god, sir, are you alright? I thought I heard a crash…” Joyce “Psycho” Byers is rushing out of the car to check on him, some kid she doesn’t really know, because she’s on her way back from work and heard the whole thing and has never been able to ignore a situation where someone might need help.

“Oh god, you poor thing, you’re bleeding, um, I think I have some bandaids in the car - wait no, we should probably get you checked out all together, what if you have a concussion, do you have a concussion? Tell me if this hurts.” She’s talking too fast in her panic, and he’s kind of bewildered as she reached out to feel under his curls for more wounds, but he snaps out of it quickly when she does poke at the growing lump from where he hit his head on the door more than once. The spilt on his forehead hurts enough.

“Watch it, lady.” He doesn’t have enough will power to yell at an older woman, a mother, but he’s running pretty high on emotions right now.

“Let me check your eyes - Jesus, it’s dark out here.” Joyce mutters, Billy dodging her attempts as pulling his pinched brows apart and up.

“Hands off, will you? I just fucking crashed.”

“Don’t use that tone with me.” It’s an instinctive response and it leaves Billy flushing with shame, which only makes him want to throw something, kick something, and it ends up being his car because he’s not gonna kick a woman.

“Sorry, I have two boys, the oldest used to have a bit of a smart mouth.” Joyce flusters. “Is this your car? It was just you?”

“Yeah. Something hit my fu- my windshield. I swerved. Hit the pole.” He felt ridiculous. It was a silent road, he could have just stepped on the break and he would still have a car, his only fucking freedom and possession.

“It happens to the best of us. I’m just glad you’re not dead. Do you need a ride home?”

“I had a date.” He muttered, but his sour mood would not be fixed by seeing Karen Wheeler. Even he knew that.

“Oh, well, I’m sure they’ll understand if you give them a call. The hospital can be a pretty penny, but I can take you home and your parents can keep an eye on you, I’m sure you have a first aid kit, right?”

Yeah, his parents would not give a solitary shit about his condition. Neil would add to it if he was feeling particularly mean.

“My dads gonna kill me.”

“A car is just a thing, honey, it can be replaced. You can’t be. He’ll understand.” Joyce placed a hand on his shoulder and Billy shook her off with a glare at the hunk of junk. All his best memories, down the drain with one crash. His baby was gone so quickly. Like all good things.

“He really won’t.” He muttered, huffing to him. He’d have to find a pay phone. Get someone to tow her back to his place. She’d take a while to fix up, but he prayed he could do it.

Joyce was quiet a while.

“Why don’t you come home with me? Our couch is a pull out, I have a fully stocked first aid kit, I even did a little nursing in the past, volunteer work, so you can relax for a bit until I’m certain you’re good to go.”

Billy sighed. He had two options. Stay here, sort this shit out himself and walk home, or go with the lady everyone calls crazy but seems relatively nice, who has a pull out that’s somewhere other than his own house.

Billy wasn’t stupid, even if he was stubborn.

“Okay. Thank you. Ma’am.”

“Oh please, Ms Byers or Joyce, whichever is most comfortable for you.” She waved off his attempt at manners and put a hand on his back. “Come on, it’s muggy out here, even this late, and I’d like to go home too.” She joked.

“My car…”

“I have a friend at the station.” She patted his chest. “I’m sure he’ll be happy to tow your car home, or to the nearest shop, whichever is best for you.”

She really was doing too much. Billy was gonna start feeling guilt above the slight humiliation he already felt. He rounded her car, a sense of ease filling him as he opened the door. He felt like he had just escaped something really bad, for some reason. Maybe his fathers wrath for the evening.

“Oh, what’s your name again, honey? I forgot to ask.” Joyce asked from over the roof of the car, a little pinch between her brows.

“…William. Most people just call me Billy though.”

“William, that’s my son name.” She broke into a bright smile. “Well, now I’ll have two Williams in my house. I do hope I don’t mix you two up.” She joked as she slipped into the car. He cracked a small smile as he followed.

“Don’t worry. I won’t be calling you Mom like he does.”

“Oh, Jim says I’m everyone’s mother.” She chuckled as she started the engine. “I won’t hold it against you if you slip up.”

“I won’t.” As nice as she was, she wasn’t his mother.

As she drove them away from the scene, Billy felt the anxiety ease in his chest. She was playing pop hits from the previous decade, but they’re nice, nostalgic, and he finds himself almost drifting off.

“Don’t go falling asleep, Will, you might be concussed, sweetie.” Her hand reaches out and brushes his curls back from his face.

“It’s Billy.” He mumbled, and everything kind of goes hazy as his eyes unfocused. Her car is equally muggy as outside, with the smell of artificial lavender, and the music has trilled to something softer. It’s just perfect for a nap.

“Right. Sorry, honey.” He likes that she’s still patting him as she drives, just his hair where it doesn’t ache or sting. “Just stay awake, okay?”

“Okay…” He would. Or at least, he really did try. He’s pretty sure he’s not concussed, just…sleepy.

It feels nice to fall asleep with a hand on his head like the old days.

#just some Joyce and Billy fluff <3 #Joyce mothering Billy like she does Will <3 #because Billy is a sensitive boy too #Billy hargrove #Joyce Byers #fix it au okay #stranger things

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angelasscribbles · 2 years ago

Text

Savage Love Chapter 16: Definitely a Date

Series: Savage Love

Fandom: The Royal Romance

Pairings: Riley x Liam, Riley x Drake

Rating: R

Warnings: Mature themes

Word Count: 4,406

A/N: Special shoutout to @nestledonthaveone for brainstorming band names with me about a million years ago. I'm finally using it. (Just the name, you'll have to wait for the actual performance scene)

My other stuff: Master List.

I changed clothes then met Drake in the secret passageway outside my room.

“Are we taking your bike again?” I asked hopefully.

He laughed, “We can. I mean, I do have a car.”

“Where’s the fun in that?”

He shrugged, “Ok then. Bike it is.”

I closed the panel to my room and turned expecting to follow behind him, but he was still standing there, giving me one of those unreadable expressions of his.

I raised an eyebrow, “What?”

“Should we…ah, talk about earlier today?”

My eyebrows shot all the way up, “You want to talk about your feelings?”

“No, I do not. I didn’t say I want to talk about it, I’m asking if we need to talk about it.”

The earnest expression as his copper and gold flecked eyes studied mine made my heart turn over in my chest. “Probably.”

“Should I…uh…” His eyes flicked up to the ceiling then back to mine uncertainly, “should I apologize again?”

“Look, Walker, you don’t have to keep apologizing, you’ve done that. I just need to know that it’s not going to happen again. I can’t have this investigation blow up behind you and Liam trying to get territorial.”

“Yeah, I get it. It wasn’t the time or the place for it.”

I fixed him with a stern look, “Are you saying there is a time and place for it?”

He bit back a smile, “Maybe when you’re not around to see it.”

“Drake, I don’t want you and Liam fighting over me at all.”

“Shit, I’m sorry, I know you don’t like men acting possessive or territorial, I just-“

“It’s not that. I mean, it is that, but I’m serious, as a female agent I’ve had to work twice as hard to be seen as half as good. I can’t mess up an investigation because my feelings-“ I stopped midsentence, panic plunging through me when I realized what I had just said. Was it too late to backtrack? “Because your feelings got in the way.” Shit! What was happening?

He froze, his entire body was rigidly still as he looked at me. For once I could clearly see the thoughts and emotions chase each other across his face. Surprise, elation and confusion flashed through his eyes in rapid succession followed by uncertainty. Then the walls slammed back in place and his face went blank again. “Whose feelings?”

“Anyone’s. Feelings have no place out in the field.”

“Right. Of course not.”

“Listen.” I stepped closer and put my hand on his face, “I don’t hate that I provoke some kind of reaction in you. Just don’t let it interfere with the job I came here to do, ok?”

“Ok.” He agreed reaching up and covering my hand with his own. “So, if we’re good….” He gave me that searching look again.

“We’re good Captain.”

“Great. Let’s go.”

We made our way through the passageways to the garages again. When we got to his bike, he pulled a helmet off the shelf and held it out to me but when I went to take it, he moved it up out of my reach.

“What the hell, Walker?”

“I just want to clear something up first.”

“Okay….” I eyed him suspiciously.

“Last time we took my bike, I believe I was accused of doing it on purpose just to make you have to touch me.”

“Uh huh.” I crossed my arms and tilted my head, “What’s your point?”

“I just want it noted for the record, ma’am, that I offered my car, and you chose the bike.”

I fought, and failed, to repress the smile of amusement that crept across my face. “Noted, Captain. And stop calling me ma’am.”

A soft laugh rumbled through his chest, “Never.”

I shook my head as I pulled the helmet on, but the truth was that every time he said it, warmth flooded through me. He was teasing me, and I liked it.

I climbed on the back of his bike and wrapped my arms around him. He wasn’t wrong about why I opted for the bike. I liked the adrenaline thrill of speeding down the highway with nothing between us and pavement but air, that much was true, but I also liked the endorphin rush I got from touching him. I pressed my body into his back and slid my hands under the hem of his shirt, running my palms over bare skin instead of fabric.

The parking lot was crowded when we pulled up and music drifted over to us from the somewhere behind the building.

“The band plays outside on the patio.” Drake told me, as if he could read my mind, “I thought we’d grab some beer and food inside first, then we can find a table out back if you want.”

“Lead the way, Captain.”

We were seated quickly, despite the moderately large crowd. A waitress approached and handed us each a beer list. Drake didn’t even look at his, instead handing it back immediately, “I’ll have a Nissos, the Greek Island Pilsner.” He told her, then turned to me, “Brooks?”

“I’m not sure, I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many choices!”

“If you want something closer to what you’d get in America, I’d suggest a Septem Eighth Day, it’s a pretty good American style IPA. Or something sweeter, maybe? Like a Voreia?”

“What’s that taste like?”

“Never tried it, it smells like chocolate and coffee to me.”

“I prefer ale over lager.”

“Bring her a red donkey.” He said to the waitress.

“They have a beer called red donkey?”

“Yes ma’am, I think you’ll like it. Do you trust me?”

I pretended to think about that deeply for a moment, “Sure, I trust you. At least enough to try the beer you picked. Besides, if I don’t like it, I’ll just order something else.”

“Fair enough.”

We traded the beer lists for menus as she told us, “I’ll be right back with your drinks.”

The food menu was shorter than the beer menu had been. I glanced down the list of options. “I might get a gyro.” I told him, “What are you getting?”

He lifted his eyes from the menu to look at me, “Probably a pouch pie. They have really good ones here.”

“What the hell is a pouch pie?”

His mouth fell open, “What? They don’t have those in Monterisso?”

“Guess not.” I shrugged.

“Ok then….you’ve lived in the states. Ever had pot pie?”

“Chicken pot pie?”

“Yes!” His hand slapped the table, “Like that, but better! Flakier crust, wider variety of fillings.”

“Like what? Where are they?” I asked him as I scanned down the menu.

He pulled my menu down and tapped the spot where they were listed before telling me, “I’m going to get the steak, bacon and ale one.”

I peered at him over the top of the menu, “Of course you are. You and your bacon.”

“Hasn’t slowed me down.” He grinned at me as he lifted the hem of his shirt and ran his hands across his washboard abs.

My eyes dipped down to follow his hands and I licked my lips, “I do appreciate your dedication to your workout routine.”

He bit into his lower lip as his eyebrows quirked up, “Do you, now?”

He was ridiculous. I laughed, shaking my head, “Yeah, I do. But you already know you’re hot. I feel it would be irresponsible of me to stroke that ego of yours any more than I already have.”

“I have other things you could stroke.”

“Keep it in your pants, Walker, we’re in public.”

“So, I didn’t hear a no, I heard a wait until we’re in private.”

“Yeah? And what are you gonna do for me?”

“Whatever the fuck you want.” He told me with a seductive smirk.

I felt heat surge through me and I’m pretty sure my pupils dilated, but I kept a look of feigned indifference on my face as I moved my eyes back to the menu, “Hm. We’ll see. But right now, we’re here to eat, remember? The pouch pies do sound good, I’m torn between chicken and mushroom or spinach and feta…. Then again, I really like the tzatziki sauce that comes on gyros, so maybe I’ll get one of those.”

“If it’s just the tzatziki sauce you want, try the patates tiganites.”

“Those are french fries, right?”

“Greek fries, more like it. They're not thin like the French fries you'd get at an American restaurant. These are hand-cut potatoes, much thicker.”

“So, like steak fries?”

“Yeah, something like that, but seasoned a lot better and they come with tzatziki sauce; we’ll get some to eat while we’re waiting on the pouch pies if you want.”

“That sounds good.”

The waitress returned, depositing our drinks, “You guys ready?”

Drake ordered the patates tiganites and his selection, then turned to me and asked, “So have you decided what you want?”

“Ok, mmm, the spinach and feta pie sounds really good, but I think I’m going with the chicken and mushroom.” I closed my menu with a nod and handed it to the waitress.

“Hold on, you want spinach and feta?” Turning to the waitress he told her, “Bring us some of the mini spanakopita's with those patates tiganites."

“Got it.” She took the menus and hurried away.

“Trying to score points for knowledge of the most delicious foods on the menu?” I asked him.

“That depends.”

“On what?”

“On whether or not it’s working.” He laughed, “Is it?”

“I’ll let you know after I actually taste it.”

“You never make anything easy, do you?” He said it like it was a joke but the way his eyes stayed on mine as he lifted his beer to his mouth belied that. He was doing that thing again, the one where he seemed to be searching for something but hell if I knew what.

I regarded him as I took a pull of my own drink, then I lowered it and pointed the bottle at him, “What’s that about?”

“What’s what about?”

“That, this…whatever this is!” I used my other hand, waving it front of his face to indicate his expression.

“My face?” He laughed, “What are you asking? I know you’re not drunk already off half a beer. How is it, by the way?”

“It’s good. Really fucking good, you were right, I like it. But don’t change the subject.”

“Sorry, Brooks, I have no idea what the subject is!” He took another long pull of his drink as he looked away from me.

“Hm.” I sat back in my chair. I was about to push the issue when the waitress returned with the patates tiganites, spanakopita’s, plenty of tzatziki sauce for dipping them both in and fresh drinks.

“Oh. My. God.” I licked the tzatziki sauce off my fingers along with the seasoning from the fries that stuck there. “You were not overselling these!”

“Told you.” He smirked.

“Here.” He plucked a spanakopita off the plate and leaned across the table, holding it up to my mouth.

I opened my mouth and sank my teeth into it. I bit through the crunchy, flaky exterior and an explosion of flavors hit my taste buds as the hot, creamy mixture of spinach and feta cheese coated my tongue.

“Ohmgeeeee….” I moaned a little, it was that damn good.

He laughed and offered me the rest of it, I leaned forward and took it, pulling his fingers into my mouth with it. I looked up into his eyes as I pulled slowly back, sucking on his fingers as I went until I pulled back far enough for them to pop out. My tongue shot out to lick his fingertips one last time before I sat back in my seat, chewing the food slowly as I watched his reaction.

His pupils definitely dilated, shooting satisfaction through me that I wasn’t the only one. His copper colored orbs darkened to a deeper amber, another dead give away that he was experiencing some arousal of his own. He kept his eyes locked on mine as he brought his hand to his own mouth and slid his tongue from the bottom to the top his index finger.

Well, shit. That wasn’t fair. Using my own tactics against me. If he was trying to make sure the night ended up with him in my bed, he was off to a stellar start. But you know, I was going to make him suffer a little first. I had already kicked my shoes off under the table, I slid a bare foot up his leg and thigh to settle right between his legs.

His body jerked upright, and heat flared through his eyes. He reached under the table, but instead of pushing my foot away, he pulled it in close. His fingers rubbed circles along the top of my foot as he pressed it into his groin.

I wiggled my toes for good measure.

A low growl escaped him as he gripped my foot tighter. He opened his mouth to say something but just then the waitress showed up and dropped off our food. He released my foot with a shake of his head, “You don’t play fair, Brooks.”

“I wasn’t aware there were rules.” I told him saucily, “But you should be aware by now that I take rules as suggestions.”

“I’m aware.” He responded drily.

After we finished our meal, we made our way outside. We could hear the band inside, but it was much louder outside. Drake kept a grip on my hand as he pulled me through the crowd. He scanned the patio looking for open seating. The song ended and in the relative quite, a voice called out, “Drake! Riley! Over here!”

Drake swore under his breath. I followed the voice to find Marco waving and grinning at us. “We don’t have to-“

“Oh, come on!” I replied, tugging him in Marco’s direction.

When we got to the table, the people already there shifted over and pulled a couple of more chairs up so Drake and I could squeeze in. Marco made introductions around the table, and I matched up names with faces, filing them away for later reference in case it was important. My superior memory was part of what made me a good agent.

“Hey, Sav! I didn’t know you were here tonight!” Drake greeted one of the other table occupants as he pulled her into a hug. “Riley, this is Savannah, my little sister. Sav, this is Riley my-“ He stopped in midsentence, stricken as pure, unadulterated panic swept across his features.

I leaned forward to shake her hand, “His friend. Nice to meet you, Savannah.”

She looked a lot like Drake. Her hair was darker and her overall countenance more welcoming, but I could definitely see the resemblance. She ignored my hand and pulled me into a hug instead.

“Oh, I-“ I don’t normally go around hugging people I just met, but she didn’t give me much of a choice.

“Did my brother almost call you his girlfriend?” She screamed into my ear because the music had started up again.

I smiled as I pulled away and gave her a shrug. The music didn’t leave much room for talking, but everyone tried, nonetheless. There were a lot of shouted questions before everyone finally went back to drinking and watching the band.

I sat back in my seat and glanced over at Drake. He was leaned back in his chair, legs sprawled out in front of him, eyes on the stage. He looked so relaxed and happy. I felt a sense of contentment wash over me as the music pulsed through the air. He cut his eyes at me and when he noticed me looking, turned his head and gave me a wide, genuine smile. I smiled back as he slipped his hand into mine. We both just sat there staring stupidly at each other while the song finished. Ok, I admit it, we were making goo goo eyes at each other. But in my defense, the man was gorgeous, sexy as fuck, funny when he wanted to be, smarter than he let on and an actual honest to God, down to earth, good guy.

What the hell was wrong with me that I didn’t want a relationship with him?

Three months, Brooks, three months, I reminded myself. You’re only here for a few more months.

Right.

When the band took a break the lead singer spotted Drake in the crowd and made a beeline for our table. “Drake! Fuck, it’s been a minute!”

Drake stood up to shake the man’s hand, “Hey Garrett! Nice set.”

His eyes traveled behind Drake, lighting up when they landed on me, “Who’s your friend?”

I stood up as Drake made introductions.

“Garrett, this is Riley, Riley, Garrett.”

“Nice to meet you.” I stuck out my arm for a handshake as I took him in. He had well defined arms that were tatted from the wrists to the shoulders and blond hair that hung down his back, halfway to his ass, it was pushed back out of his face with a bandana.

Garrett pulled my hand to his mouth and kissed it. He continued to hold my hand, looking into my eyes as he asked, “Girlfriend? Or just friend? Because I am single, Riley, just so you know.”

“Get the fuck out of here!” Drake shoved the other man with a tight laugh. Like, he was joking, but he wasn’t joking. “Doesn’t matter if we’re dating or not, she’s too fucking good for the likes of you.”

Garrett dropped my hand but continued to smirk at me, “So just friends then. Excellent!”

The shift in Drake’s body language was so slight, I doubt anyone else noticed it. He went tense, on alert. I noticed. He sidled up closer to me and ran his hand down my arm, “Actually, we are kind of a thing, and this is most definitely a date.”

Garrett turned to me with mock anguish, hand over his heart, “Please, tell me he’s lying!”

I paused for moment studying Drake’s face before deciding to play along. I cocked my head to one side and smiled as I snaked my arm through Drakes, “Actually, sorry, we are dating. Right, sweetheart?”

The stunned expression that flitted across his face was quickly replaced by one of smug satisfaction as he confirmed, “Right. For just over a month now.”

Garrett’s eyes narrowed, “Really? I thought you didn’t do relationships, Walker.”

Drake shrugged, “Apparently, I just needed to meet the right woman. Right, baby?”

My smile widened as I decided to mess with him. If he wanted to back his friend off, which was uncalled for by the way, because I was a big girl and I could have backed him off myself, but if that’s what he wanted to do, I was going to have some fun with it. “Absolutely. I’m moving my stuff into his place this weekend.”

Garrett’s mouth dropped open, “No fucking way! Are you serious, dude? After a month?”

“Oh yes,” I continued, working overtime to suppress the laughter bubbling up at the sight of Drake’s face, “He told me he loved me after one week! How adorable is that?”

Garrett double over with laughter, “Bloody hell you say! Not Drake fucking Walker, this is insane! She’s fucking with me, right?”

I gave Drake a challenging look. He could salvage his reputation as a playboy and risk having his friend compete with him for my attention or he could back his buddy off and likely never hear the end of it. I gave him my best nonchalant ‘your move’ expression as I waited.

“Well, I…she…I mean….”

He was struggling and it was cute and more than a little amusing, so I decided to up the ante, “We’re going ring shopping next week.”

“Oh fuck! Now I know she’s messing with me!” Garrett practically howled, “Dude! You really had me going for a minute there.”

An expression of disgruntlement ran across Drake’s face followed by one of resolve as he slung his arm around my shoulder and tugged me closer to his body, “Nope. She’s telling the truth. She’s it for me. Stick a fork in me, I’m done. Time to tie myself down to the old ball and chain.”

“Ball and chain? Really?”

He leaned his forehead against the side of my head so he could whisper in my ear, “Didn’t think I was going to let you get away with all that without some sort of retaliation, did you?”

The annoyance drained right out of me as his breath tickled my ear. I tried, and failed, to repress the shiver that it sent cascading down my spine.

“Wow. Really? Ok, then. Well fuck me running. Now I’ve seen every damn thing.” Garrett was considerably less cheerful, “Congratulations then, I guess.”

Marco tripped over a chair getting to us as Garrett walked away, “Wait, you two are getting married?”

Drake rolled his eyes, “No, we were just fucking with Garrett.”

“I thought Drake was going to implode when I said that.” I laughed.

Marco looked between us, “Yeah, but he didn’t contradict you.”

“So?” Drake asked in annoyance.

Marco’s entire face lit up in a gloating grin, “Nothing, Walker, nothing at all.”

Drake shook his head, “Whatever Rossi. Don’t you need to go refill your drink or something?”

“Yeah, sure.” Marco waved at me with a wink as he sauntered off toward the bar.

Turning back to me, Drake said, “And for the record, I wasn’t going to implode, I was just taken aback, that’s all. You had to go for the nuclear option.”

“Oh, so you’re fine with the dating part? All I did was push it to the next level and you almost had a panic attack.”

“Jumping straight to marriage was a little premature, don’t you think, Brooks? Seeing as we only just stared dating three minutes ago.” He said with a teasing smile.

“I thought it was a month ago.” I deadpanned.

“What was a month ago?” Savannah asked as she approached.

“Nothing.” Drake said, “We were messing with Garrett.”

“How do you even know that guy?” I asked. He was nothing like the people Drake knew from the palace or even from the military.

“From his own long haired boy band days.” Savannah answered.

I burst into laughter, “What?”

“Sav, please.” Drake grunted in consternation.

“Oh, my God! He hasn’t told you about Squid Whiskey?”

“Squid Whiskey? What the hell is that?”

“The band he was in during college.”

“No. fucking. Way!”

Drake looked like he wanted to crawl under the table, “Why, Sav? Haven’t I been a good brother?”

“You’re the best brother, except when it comes to me dating. Remember showing Peter West pictures of me with my retainer? Paybacks a bitch.”

“Wait, wait, wait! I have to know….what the hell is a squid whiskey? What kind of name is that?”

“We were eighteen when we picked that name…” Drake said in way of a very weak defense.

“You know Maxwell Beaumont?” Savannah asked. After I nodded, she supplied, “His house sigil is a squid, he picked that part. You can deduce who picked the whiskey part.”

“You went to college with Max?” I asked in surprise.

“Yeah, and Liam. Leo and Bert were a couple years ahead of us, but we were all at the same place.”

“Wait, you’re telling me that you were in a band, named Squid Whiskey, with Liam, Leo, Max and Bertrand?”

He scrubbed a hand down his face as he sighed and reluctantly admitted, “Yes.”

I clamped my hand over my mouth to stifle the snort of laughter.

“I have pictures, Riley. Make him bring you by my apartment sometime.”

“I will!” I promised. Then to him, “What did you play?”

“Drums.”

I stopped laughing, “Really?”

He noticed the change in my demeanor, “Yeah, why? What?”

“Nothing. I’m just a little turned on right now, that’s all.” I have always had a thing for drummers.

“You’re welcome.” Savanna laughed slapping his shoulder as she walked away.

“Oh yeah?” He asked me, slightly mollified at that news. Or at least less mortified.

“Oh yeah. Now come on, we were going to get some water, weren’t we?” He definitely hadn’t heard the last of Squid Whiskey, but I decided to let it drop for the time being.

Drake had two beers with the food earlier and one on the patio, we’d been there a couple of hours and he’d cut himself off since he had to drive us back to the palace, on a motorcycle no less.

At the bar, I leaned over and put my mouth right at his ear so he could hear me, “You know, for a quiet guy, you sure have a lot of loud people in your life!”

“What?” He laughed.

I listed them, “Hank, Marco, Matias, Rita, Savannah, Leo. Hell, even Liam is downright boisterous compared to you.”

He turned to me, his face falling serious, “Speaking of Liam….”

I suddenly regretted mentioning Liam. “Could we not? I mean, not right now?”

“Why not?” And there was that searching look again.

I pointed accusingly right at his face, “That! That’s what I was talking about earlier! That look on your face right there!”

“What about my face?”

“When you look at me like that, it’s like you’re trying to figure something out!”

He lifted an eyebrow, “I am.”

“What?” I demanded.

“You.” He said quietly.

“What about me do you want to know?”

“Everything.” Was all he said, but he said it with such passion, such longing, such feeling that it rendered me speechless, which is quite a feat because I am almost never at a loss for words.

Between the way he was looking at me in that moment and the way he’d said, “she’s it for me,” as if he’d actually meant it, I could almost imagine what it would be like to let him in, to drop my walls and let myself feel something.

But there was no way I was getting in any deeper than I already was. I couldn’t. I had a job to do, a mission to accomplish, criminals to catch. I absolutely, positively, no matter what, could not let myself start having feelings for this man.

But goddamned if I hadn’t liked it when he’d called me baby.

#savage love #angelasscribbles #choices fic writers creations #cfwc fics of the week #trr #captain drake walker #agent riley brooks #liam rys #drake walker #the royal romance fanfic #the royal romance #choices stories you play #liam x riley #drake x riley #drake x mc #via imperii #cordonia #choices #riley brooks

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elysiadjarin · 4 years ago

Text

Kill the Lights

Previous chapter: https://elysiadjarin.tumblr.com/post/648130867354632192/kill-the-lights

Warnings: spice. Oh gods, the spice. 18+ only, minors dni. Smut, consensual, public sex, foreplay, sub/dom, light bondage, threesome or poly, cum play, unprotected sex (irl wrap it before you tap it please people be safe), breeding kink

4: Kitchen Kiss

“Hey Rose, there’s someone asking for you at the front, says he knows you.” Jay’s head poked around the corner of a spice rack.

I looked up with a blink. “Did he give a name?”

“Uh... something like that one reporter’s name. Brock?” He squinted.

“Oh, Eddie!” I dried off my hands. “Becca, could you take over for me for a minute? My boyfriend is out front.”

Becca raised an eyebrow. “Sure, but you’re telling me why you haven’t told me about having a boyfriend when you get back.”

I gave her a sheepish smile. “Ok ok, be back.” I kept my apron on and went out to see Eddie standing by the kitchen doors dressed in a pair of slacks and a button-down.

“Hey Rosy.” He smiled lopsidedly, his eyes a little tired.

I reached up to give him a hug. “Are you ok? You look tired.”

He hugged me back. “Yeah, I just got done with an interview. I have to go back home and work on typing it up.”

I pursed my lips. “I think there’s a bit of leftover pie in the fridge if you need a pick me up.” He’d moved in with me from his run-down apartment a week ago, and the arrangement worked out well for both of us. Anne and Dan had even helped Eddie move in, Anne ecstatic that we’d gotten together.

He sighed. “You’re incredible.” He gave me a quick kiss.

I patted his chest. “You’ve never visited me at work though, is there something else going on?”

He glanced over my shoulder. “Do you mind if we... step away?”

I blinked, then realized. “Oh! Right, here.” I led him over to the small locker room I had as head chef, closing the door. “Private locker room, perks of being head chef,” I explained. “What’s up?”

Eddie grimaced, then reached out for me. “He’s been-“

As soon as his hand touched me, I realized that it was Venom.

“He’s insisting he wants to be with you for the rest of the day.” Eddie pulled me closer.

“Well, that’s fine with me,” I said, a little confused. I’d bonded with Venom twice before, mostly just for the comfort of it, besides the one time we’d been... in bed.

“I told him you had work,” Eddie tried to apologize.

“It’s ok, really. As long as he stays out of sight I’ll be fine- well, to be honest most of my coworkers know I’m a Mutant anyway so if a slip up happens I suppose it won’t be the end of the world.” I ran my fingers through his hair. “It’s about to be dinner rush hour, and I have two hours left in my shift.”

He nodded. “If you’re sure.”

I smiled. “Why would I not be okay with it?” I laughed. “It’s my boyfriend.”

He chuckled slightly. “I’ll leave you to it, I’m planning to get at least half the report written up before dinner.”

“Sure, do you mind if I bring dinner from here tonight?”

“Nope.” He bent, pressing his mouth to mine.

I clung to his shoulders, feeling Venom start to creep down my neck and face, down my shoulders, worming into my shirt and down my torso. When Eddie let go, I gasped a little.

“You okay?” he murmured.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I breathed. Accustoming myself to the sensation of Venom wrapping himself around my hips, I gave him a distracted smile. I gasped and slapped my side as I felt tendrils slip under my bra. “Ven, I’m at work, stop it,” I hissed.

Eddie raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, shoulda warned you, he’s pretty... horny.”

I shook my head. “I’ll deal with it I guess.” I gave him another kiss. “Alright, I’m on the clock. See you tonight.”

He waved goodbye as I led him to the door, and I turned back to the kitchen.

Hello, Rose.

I closed my eyes briefly at the sound of his deep husk caressing my name. “Hi, love,” I murmured. “Missed you.”

Becca grabbed me. “Wait, whoa, that’s the Edward Brock, or I’m blind. He’s your boyfriend? How?” she demanded.

I smiled nervously. “Um, mutual friends... and he may or may not have saved me from being jumped in an alleyway-“

“Oh. My. Gosh.” She shook my shoulders. “What? Spill the tea, right now.”

I talked while we worked, shaking my head at her love of gossip. Still, I knew she’d keep the information private. Becca may love the tea, but she only ever kept it in the cup.

But even as we moved on to focusing on the customers pouring in, I kept getting distracted. Venom kept being active, taking advantage of my loose clothing and apron to hide how he kept wrapping around my hips. He crawled up my sides, sliding under my bra. His tendrils tightened a little around my breasts, and I had to pause and take a breath.

“Ven,” I hissed under the noise of a popping frying pan.

Been missing you all day, Rose.

I bit my tongue and tried to discreetly lean my elbows against the counter to hold myself up. Venom teased my thighs, barely pushing at my underwear. I’d already learned that needy Venom was... needy. Not that I exactly would complain, but still... I was at work.

Will be good. Just an hour and a half.

I almost snorted, glancing behind me. “We both know you’re not patient, love.”

Are you?

Well frick. An hour and a half of Venom being distracting? Anywhere but work and I would’ve been fine, but it was much harder to explain why I was flushed and weak-kneed to my coworkers. Still... I could try. Even if it would be a bit futile. But what else could I do?

I took a deep breath and walked over to check the desserts. Glancing at the clock, I wondered how slow it would creep tonight. Normally it seemed to go by too fast. Tonight, I wasn’t too sure.

“Rose, this icing isn’t setting right,” one of my pastry chefs groaned.

I poked at the bag. “Ratios all good?”

“Yep, I double checked.”

I sighed. “Try making a new batch? Maybe something in it isn’t good. Might as well be safe.”

She nodded and scrapped it, starting over.

I hurried over to another station as Becca waved me over. Fixing the issue, I’d just turned to tell Becca something when I choked. Venom slipped under my underwear, inching closer to my core.

“You okay, Rose?”

I nodded, covering my mouth. “Sorry,” I coughed, “something in the air I think.”

She handed me water, and I took a hasty sip. “Thanks.”

“Alright, first order’s out,” she said grimly. “We’re on schedule, thankfully.”

“I’d like to be ahead if possible,” I said ruefully. “But we’ll do the best we can.”

You’re wet.

I grabbed onto Jay’s arm as my knees went weak. Venom slipped a single tendril into me, teasingly sliding in and out. My entire body felt hypersensitive, Venom’s fingers teasing my nipples not helping in the least.

“Whoa, Rose, you good?” Jay grabbed me.

I winced. “Sorry, Jay. My knee is...”

“Hey, we’re doing just fine here. Do you need to go sit down for a minute? I know you get stressed sometimes,” he said, eyebrows furrowed in concern.

I nodded. “I’ll be back.”

“Take your time.”

I managed to make it back to my room and lock the door just as my knees buckled. Hand pressed against the floor, I moaned. He’d slid further into me, hands forming around my hips.

Is thirty minutes a record? Venom gloated.

“I’m at work,” I complained, trembling. Everything felt so sensitive. “Did something happen today?”

Venom growled, and he abruptly pushed into me. I gasped, jerking, as he completely filled me in a way that made my stomach swell. His matter inside me felt so different from anything else, so satisfyingly full.

Mine.

“Yes,” I whimpered. “You know I am. But what-“ His thrust, decisive and possessive, cut me off.

Stupid guy saying you only want Eddie for money.

I staggered up and collapsed against my closet, trying to get my apron off. I knew I wasn’t finishing my last hour. Not after what he’d said.

“Ven, we both know I’m the one with money right now-“ My apron fluttered off into the hamper as my fingers clenched in my shirt. I barely managed to get it off, fingers trembling. “And other people are dumb. What- happened?” I managed, pitching against the wall as Venom thrust.

I gasped as he formed in front of me, tongue hanging as he drooled heavily. His hands appeared around my hips, tendrils peeling my pants off for me. His hips bucked against me, and his hands brought me down on him in a way that made my eyes roll up.

Doesn’t matter. Rose is ours. No one can else can do this to you.

I had to privately agree. Not without getting kicked, anyway. I’d probably get the full story out of Eddie. But for the moment, I could only focus on Venom’s thumb sliding down to press on my clit.

I tried to muffle my moan, pleasure sparking through me almost unbearably. Venom knew my body too well. Though he and Eddie felt equally good in different ways, something about Venom always reduced me to putty in his giant hands. As a switch, it was unbelievably satisfying to have Eddie flip my dom side and Venom control my sub self.

At this point Venom had to hold me up completely, pushing into me, pulsing and twisting. His mouth slid across my cheek, my jaw, down to my throat. Everything fuzzed, until all I knew was that he was hissing my name, muttering into my skin, talons wrapped around my hips with a gentle sort of decisiveness that made me completely melt. I gave in so readily under his touch, his claws raking softly across my skin to barely leave a mark.

I let out a shuddering moan, his name spilling from my lips. “Venom- oh, Ven.”

Rose is mine. Love my Rose. He purred.

My body kept teetering closer and closer to the edge, the pleasure steady and somehow increasing. I could barely think, barely do anything but say his name, over and over, beg for him. My fingers scrabbled at his chest, slipping against his matter, sinking into it.

His tongue lolled, drooling sloppily onto my chest and arms until it slid down my stomach only for him to lick it off. The moment his talon scraped across my clit again, I arched.

Venom snarled, low and deep in a way that rattled deep into me. He bucked one more time, and I could feel the familiar heat gush into me. He ground against me a few more times, prolonging my pleasure as I whimpered and fell against his chest.

Eventually he sank back into my skin, leaving me slumped against the wall, panting. I gasped for breath, my body still trembling with aftershocks. Venom, as always, had plugged me, keeping everything inside me. For once I was more grateful than usual, knowing that the mess would be difficult to clean up at work. Not to mention, I’d rather not walk around leaking everywhere.

I finally dragged myself up. I had to go home. Fumbling for my phone, I sent a text to Becca telling her that I had to leave because I wasn’t feeling up to snuff. Once I managed to gather myself enough, I pulled on my clothes and threw on my jacket. Grabbing my stuff, I quietly left the restaurant through the service doors and made my way to my car.

I slumped into the seat, unzipping my coat briefly. My entire body felt so hot, and I bit my lip as I felt Venom sliding around my waist again.

Going home to Eddie?

“You win, Ven,” I half-laughed, starting the car. “You got me.”

Eddie wants kids.

I swallowed. “What do you think of that, Ven?” I asked, driving home. My knuckles whitened around the wheel as I tried to keep my hands from trembling. My entire body still felt hypersensitive, and it wasn’t helping that Venom kept occasionally teasing my clit, edging me further.

The idea of children didn’t exactly scare me. I’d wanted kids of my own, but never thought I’d find the guy to settle down with. Though it broke my heart to think of Eddie or Venom leaving me, the idea of having a little one with both of them to cherish and raise was something I would jump at. Though, I hoped that neither of them would leave either.

Would never leave you, Rose. Venom sounded offended. We love you.

I took in a breath. “I know, Ven. It’s just... I can’t help it. It’s a fear.”

We want a kid with Rose. My kind reproduces asexually, but still need a good parent. Raise kids properly.

I pulled into the parking garage and parked, then pulled out the keys and leaned back, hand on the door. “We should talk to Eddie about it first, though, don’t you think?”

Eddie is afraid you’ll leave. Scared of having kids. Scared he will be a bad parent.

I smiled faintly. “Do you think we could change that?”

I think we can. A hint of lust laced his tone, and I swung out of the car.

“So, we agree on a game plan?” I began to walk toward the elevator, stripping out of my shirt and pants and zipping up my coat to hide my underwear.

He just answered with a chuckle, and I smirked. My switch flipped, and I licked my lips as I exited the elevator. For a brief moment, I was glad I’d decided to wear a pair of matching and relatively lacy underwear. I opened the door and let my clothes and bag slide to the floor.

Venom untied my hair, and I ruffled it with a murmured thanks. Kicking off my shoes, I reached up to untie my scarf as I walked into the office.

Eddie turned, looking surprised to see me. “Rose? I thought you still had a while to-“ His mouth dropped as the coat slid off my shoulders to pool on the floor.

I pulled the scarf off, then walked up to him in the chair. Using the scarf, I wrapped it around his shoulders and sat myself in his lap. Pulling him closer, I pressed a kiss to his neck as he grabbed my waist.

“I think Ven might have been too strong of a corruption for me, Eddie,” I murmured, sliding my arms around his shoulders. I pulled back to give him a pout, burying my fingers into his hair.

He sucked in a breath. “I- uh- I sorta thought he might calm down just being near you... guess I was wrong-?” he chuckled nervously. “Um- Rose, are you- mm.”

I cut him off with a kiss, my hand sliding down to his. “Eddie,” I murmured against his mouth, pulling his hand to my underwear. “I think your girlfriend isn’t quite full enough,” I suggested, making him sink his fingers into me.

He sucked in a sharp breath as Venom’s matter started to spill out of me around his fingers, puddling in his lap. He grunted, and I could feel his pants strain against me.

“Do you mind if I need a little attention?” I breathed, biting my lip as I sat up.

He licked his lips. “I... I do have work...” but it was weak.

I bent to kiss his ear. “But I really, really want you under me,” I whimpered. “Venom and I want to have your hands around my hips, buried inside of me.”

His breath stuttered. “You know I’m yours, Rose,” he said weakly, his voice turning into the submissive whimper I loved so much.

Venom took over me briefly, taking us to the bedroom. He got rid of Eddie’s pants and shirt, then melted up my arms as he settled me over Eddie’s hips. Venom left me to sink into Eddie, wrenching his arms up to latch onto the headboard, securing him to the bed.

I peeled my underwear off, ignoring how they were soaked through with black. It leaked down me, onto Eddie’s straining member as he bucked and grunted.

“Please- Ven- I want to touch her,” Eddie groaned, his eyes fixed on me.

I bent to kiss him, sliding my hands up his chest. “If you be a good boy for Rose and Venom tonight, Eddie, I think you’ll like what we’ve agreed on,” I teased, smiling playfully as I rocked my hips up.

He hissed, then panted. “I’ll be good.” He gulped as I brushed my fingers over his nipples. “I promise, Rose. Please, he’s been in my head all day and I can’t stop thinking about it.”

“Hmm, I don’t know...” I pursed my lips thoughtfully. “You did dump him on me at work.” I gave him a pout. “Don’t you know what Ven did? How he teased me at work for an hour before making me go to the locker room? How he pushed me against the wall and took care of me, reminding me that you were here at home?”

His hips strained against Venom futilely. “Please, Rose,” he whined. “I need it, please, I need you. We need you.” His dark eyes all but begged for me. “I’m so close already, please.”

I tilted my head and reached down, dragging my fingers across his length. It twitched as he hissed, and I pulled it up to tease it against my entrance. I smiled. “Oh? Do you want Venom to just slide it into me, so slowly? Hmm?”

He groaned. “Yes, please.”

Venom formed his body under Eddie, trapping him between me and himself. He still held Eddie captive, but reached his own hands up to start teasing my breasts. Eddie groaned, tortured at the sight.

“This isn’t fair,” Eddie groaned.

Venom chuckled. I had her at work today, Eddie. She was hot and wet and soft, and perfect. She kept saying my name, wanting me. His tongue flickered.

I squirmed for effect under his hands. “Hn- not my nipples, Ven- you’ve been teasing me this whole time,” I whined. “It’s my turn to play with Eddie. I want him.” I pouted.

His hands slid down to my hips and pulled me down into a kiss. I melted into Eddie’s body, moaning into Venom’s mouth. Eddie whimpered between us, squirming, trying to search for friction, for some sort of satisfaction.

Isn’t our Rose beautiful, Eddie? Venom growled, his tendrils sliding between us to wrap around Eddie’s length. His hands lifted my hips, clearly teasing my lips against Eddie’s throbbing, leaking length. His thumbs parted my lips, and thick, black tendrils crawled down to start teasing my clit.

I moaned, leaning back so Venom could control my hips. “Oh- yes, Ven.” I bit my lip. “Tease me with Eddie, please.”

Eddie moaned. “Ven, Rose, please. I can’t take much more.”

He can’t hold on much longer, Rose. Venom grinned, tongue wrapping around Eddie’s throat.

“But I love it when he begs, Ven. He’s so cute. Please tease a little more?” I fluttered my eyelashes at him.

His tendrils squeezed Eddie’s tip, then slowly rubbed the head against me. Make him cum inside you?

“Yes!” I reached down to lace my fingers in Venom’s, still wrapped around my hips. “Please, make him cum inside me. Like you did.”

Eddie gasped sharply. “W-wait- but I- I don’t have a condom on-“

And she’s not on the pill. Venom agreed, dipping Eddie’s tip into me.

Eddie’s wide eyes met mine. “Wait, if you put me in I- I’ll cum.”

And if Rose is okay with that? Venom asked, his fingers lacing in mine as his hands supported me.

Eddie stared at me.

I supported myself against Venom’s hands, teasing myself against Eddie’s tip as Venom’s tendrils held it up against me. “I want you to cum in me, Eddie.”

We talked, Eddie.

“What?” He sucked in a sharp breath as I slid his tip into me, feeling the stretch. “You-?”

She wants it, Eddie. Wants us.

“You want- you want it, Rose? I mean... you’re okay with-?”

I nodded, biting my lip and whimpering as Venom twitched against my clit. “Yes. I want you and Venom, Eddie. I want to try to have kids with both of you. I love both of you so much. I’ve always wanted a baby.”

Venom let me sink another inch onto Eddie, his fingers tightening around mine as I moaned. Eddie’s breaths were coming short and fast, his eyes rolling. I slid down onto Eddie all the way, until Venom’s tendrils on my clit were resting against Eddie’s pelvis. Eddie let out a broken moan, jerking as he moaned my name, over and over. Venom growled, and I bit my lips in satisfaction as I felt Eddie spill into me.

It wasn’t enough. Venom let me bend down to kiss Eddie, soft and deep. His hands held my hips tightly against him and Eddie, his tendrils wrapping around Eddie’s length still buried inside me.

“Oh- Venom- Rose- wait, it’s too- it’s too sensitive,” he cried, jerking. “No, stop, I can’t-“

I thrust a little, grinding my hips against him. Venom continued to tease Eddie’s tip, over stimulating him as he twisted and moaned. “Wait- please- I’ll come again-“

“It’s okay, Eddie,” I murmured, kissing him gently. “Cum inside me. Let me and Ven feel you cum in me. I want it. I want you.”

He let out a cry, his eyes welling as he bucked and jerked. He spilled into me again, sobbing out our names. Venom finally let him go, though I kept him buried deep inside me.

“Please don’t let it out of me, Ven,” I pleaded softly.

Will take care of you, Rose. Venom reassured, his thumbs rubbing my waist. He continued to tease my clit, keeping me sensitive and relaxed.

Eddie gasped, slowly recovering. “Rose-“

I kissed him. “I love you, Eddie. So much,” I murmured.

Venom let his hands go, and he immediately grabbed onto me. “Marry me,” Eddie blurted, kissing me fiercely. “Marry us, Rose.”

I gaped at him. “Wh-what?”

“Marry us. We want to have kids with you, want to stay with you forever. I love you, so much.” He searched my eyes.

I smiled brightly. “Yes! Yes, I will. I love you so much, Eddie.” I kissed him, then smiled at Venom. “And I love you so much, Venom.”

Venom kissed me, his tongue slipping into my mouth. Then he twitched my hips over Eddie. My turn?

Eddie nodded. Venom built on top of Eddie’s length inside me, making me moan as I stretched even further. All the semen inside me seemed to swirl, making me sigh in satisfaction. Something about Venom’s pure size, how much bigger he was than me, always made me feel so safe and satisfied.

“Are you okay, Rose?” Eddie’s eyebrows furrowed, and he cradled my waist in his hands.

I smiled. “Yes, I’m fine. Ven- Ah!- feels so good.” I bit my lip.

Eddie, want to see Rose cum? See her filled with us? Get her... pregnant?

Eddie’s breath hissed between his teeth. His hands gently slid up, then cupped my breasts. His fingers nudged my nipples a little, his hands calloused but gentle.

“Yes,” he rasped.

I let Venom completely manhandle me, grinding my hips against Eddie’s as he twitched inside me. I whimpered. Eddie gently kissed me, his lips sliding against mine with a tenderness that didn’t match the way Venom rutted their hips into me. Each thrust kept making more semen trickle out of me, yet pushing it further into my womb.

I felt so full and satisfied, heat lighting all of my nerves. I half-sobbed, feeling myself creep closer to the edge again. “Venom, Eddie,” I cried, beginning to tremble.

Love our Rose. Venom purred, his tongue beginning to curl around my shoulder.

“We love you, Rose,” Eddie murmured, kissing my neck.

I felt everything inside of me clench as I came, gasping for breath. But Venom kept thrusting up into me, kept bringing my hips down to meet him. I sobbed around the pleasure, whining Venom’s name as I came. He growled and spilled into me one last time, making everything overflow in a messy puddle.

I sank against Eddie’s chest, feeling Venom retract to leave Eddie inside me. I tried to just breathe, coming down from my high. Eddie pressed kisses down my neck, holding me to him gently. Venom purred lowly, switching so he wrapped around both of us.

I leaned up and kissed Eddie softly, feeling his thumbs rub circles into my waist. Venom cuddled us both, bubbling contentedly over our skin. I giggled slightly as he traced patterns over my stomach.

Rose going to have a little one?

“I hope so, Ven,” I answered softly, running my hand down his matter.

Eddie turned us over onto our sides, curling around me. His hand splayed over my stomach, still buried inside me. “I can’t believe you... you want this,” he said wonderingly.

I smiled, cupping his cheek. “I’ve always wanted kids, I just didn’t know if I’d ever find the right person,” I confessed. “But you and Ven...”

He kissed me gently. “Thank you, Rose. I promise we’ll protect you, take care of you.”

I nuzzled into his neck. “I’m so happy I’ll get to be Rosemary Brock,” I said shyly.

“Sorry, Rose. I didn’t really mean to propose like this. I have a ring and everything, I just...”

I shook my head. “It’s okay, Eddie.” I smiled. “I’m so happy that I’ll get to marry you and Ven. I was a little scared,” I said, looking down at his chest. “I mean, I know that you care for me, but I... I didn’t want to lose either of you.”

“Never,” Eddie promised. “I love you with everything I have. I know I’m not the best man out there, Rose, and you’re... you’re too good for me. But I want to take care of you and have kids with you and Ven.”

“That’s all I want,” I whispered.

Venom nuzzled my shoulder. Ours, Rose. Always together.

“Always, Ven,” I promised back. “I love you. I’m yours, Venom.”

#my writing #x reader #venom x reader #venom #eddie brock x reader #eddie brock #we are venom #marvel #exophilia #alien #alien x reader #lemon #smut #marvel smut #spicy

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redrobin-detective · 3 years ago

Text

while you were sleeping

“Now here’s what’s going to happen,” Grandpa Max said in a gravelly, rough voice he only used when he was barely holding onto his anger. Gwen held her crossed arms tightly, trying to seem stern when she really felt scared. “You are going to relinquish your control over my Grandson and you are going to do it now or else-”

“Or else what, Grandpa?” Ben asked with a blank expression. Or at least, the thing wearing Ben’s face and body did. It hadn’t quite mastered fine motor control yet so seeing her cousin’s usually animated face so slack, his posture so awkward like a puppet on a string... it was unnerving.

“Or I’m going to remove you from his person and get him back myself,” Grandpa growled. He slammed his hands on the railings of the stretcher Ben was sitting on and leaned close to his face. “And don’t call me Grandpa, you are not my boy, you are not even real. You are a hunk of metal and machinery and I don’t care if you are the most powerful device in the universe, Omnitrix, I will tear you apart piece by piece to rescue my family.”

The Omnitrix tilted Ben’s head awkwardly, it’s too bright green eyes staring at Grandpa Max with a fury Gwen rarely saw from her cousin.

“You will never separate us. We will not allow it,” the Omnitrix hissed, clawing Ben’s right hand protectively over the alien watch. It’s usual green interface was blank having spread itself through Ben’s entire body. Three days they had just assumed Ben was tired from the battle in the Atraxi Nebula. Three days that Ben had been acting weird and not right while the Omnitrix possessed him. Three days of brushing it off until Rook had noticed the changes to the watch and alerted them that something was very, very wrong. “And you’re one to talk about saving us,” the Omnitrix spat out. “All you do is make demands of us, send us far and wide to fix other people’s problems and never helping our own.”

“Cut it out with this we and us. Ben is a person and you’re just a machine,” Grandpa sighed with frustration, rubbing at his eyes.

“There is no Ben or Omnitrix, there is only us,” the Omnitrix stated as if it were obvious. “We have long since merged. Ben and I are one in the same which is how we know how damaged we are.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Grandpa sneered.

“It means,” the Omnitrix continued with lidded, angry eyes, “that Ben doesn’t want to come out. His mental state collapsed in battle leaving our physical form in danger. We had to take control to get us to safety. Ben is safe and cared for right where he is and he will return when he is ready and not a moment before.”

“How do we know you’re not lying?” Grandpa Max screamed, finally losing his cool. Gwen flinched and she noticed the Omnitrix slid its eyes over towards her before flickering back to Grandpa. “According to Azmuth, you’re not supposed to be sentient, you’re not supposed to possess your host! Why am I supposed to believe you that you’re not holding Ben hostage?”

“Because we have been there for every injury, every bout of self-doubt and loneliness, every tear shed in grief and misery,” the Omnitrix whispered with venom dripping from every word. It’s eyes glowed so brightly it cast dark, ominous shadows on Ben’s face. “While you and everyone else looked the other way and pretended it was fine to thrust the entire universe on a child’s shoulders. The only one we have been able to rely on for years is ourselves and it wasn’t enough.”

“I-,” Grandpa Max started to defend before deflating a bit. He looked over at her, unsure of what to say. Gwen gave him a curt shoulder shrug; she hadn’t exactly been overly attentive to Ben’s mental health the last few years herself. With the way he acted, it was easy to assume he was handling things alright but the signs were there now that she was looking. It shouldn’t have gotten this bad that the Omnitrix had to possess him and point Ben’s struggles out. “It’s not like that, Ben would’ve told us if it was too much.”

“Which is why his psyche is in fractured pieces,” the Omnitrix said with an eye roll. It was just how Ben did it, for all that the actions were jilted and ungainly, it had Ben’s mannerisms down exactly. “We left the Master in your care for years and this is how we ended up.”

The Omnitrix leaned forward, it’s elbows balanced on Ben’s knees and it’s fingers laced together under Ben’s chin. It stared at them judgement in it’s stolen eyes. “So here is what is going to happen, Grandpa and Cousin. We are going to take care of Benjamin, as we have done from the moment of our joining. We will keep our body healthy and safe from harm, we will patrol and go on missions to keep our home and the universe intact. We will also work to undo the damage you have done to Ben and when he is healed and ready to resume control, then we will retreat and let Ben make the decisions.”

“You can’t do that,” Grandpa said with a dry rasp.

“We can,” the Omnitrix countered steadily. “You will have to kill us to separate us and we will kill you before we let any harm come to Ben. Do you understand?”

“You say we’ve hurt Ben,” Gwen said softly, not liking the Omnitrix’s unfocused, uncoordinated gaze on her. “We probably have just like he has done the same to us. We’re human, just because you love someone doesn’t mean we don’t make mistakes.” It frowned in thought. “But you don’t heal by locking yourself up and not addressing the problem. If Ben, if he’s hurting, then he needs to be out here where we can fix it. I know you love him and want to protect him but this isn’t the answer.”

For the first time since the conversation began, the harsh look softened on Ben’s face. It almost looked human this way. If the Omnitrix and Ben really were one being by this point, then it wouldn’t give into anger for long. It just wasn’t in their nature.

“You are right in a way, Gwen,” the Omnitrix said with a slight nod, sitting up from it’s aggressive slouch. “It’s not a surprise, you’re right most of the time,” the Omnitrix said with a little quirk of the lips that was very Ben. The mirthful expression tightened into one of frustration. “But we still need time. Ben is fragile right now, he needs to rest, to recover. When he, when we, are ready then we will listen.”

“Okay,” Gwen nodded, reaching out and grabbing Grandpa’s hand tightly before he could fight anymore. “Okay, well we’re here for you if you need us.”

“Right, thanks,” the Omnitrix looked away and picked at Ben’s ripped up jeans. Did the device share Ben’s ADHD? Was it just copying Ben’s nervous habits to trick them or were the two of them so blended together it wasn’t one or the other but simply different parts of a single whole? She couldn’t help but wonder if Ben would’ve been this same person if the Omnitrix had never bonded with him.

“Well, it’s late and we’re tired. We’re gonna play some video games then meet Rook for patrol tomorrow unless you plan to stop us from doing our job.” The Omnitrix said, it’s voice heavy with accusation as it glared at Grandpa.

“You may go,” Grandpa said forcefully, unhappy with the situation but unable to stop it. “But this discussion isn’t over.”

“Of course not, I’m still waiting for your apology about your treatment of us,” the Omnitrix sniffed with a flippant wave as it hopped off the stretcher and walked out of the room where it would continue to act as Ben and live his life for who knows how long. But who was to say that he wasn’t Ben, some aspect of him that they never saw. Either way, dealing with it, dealing with them, just got a lot more complicated.

#I watched both venom movies today and was... inspired #everyone keeps talking about how fun and cute the omnitrix possession au is #and I still cant help but see the inherent horror in it #IS it Ben? IS the omnitrix such a part of Ben that they're indistinguishable?#How can you know when one begins and the other ends?#this could still just be an aspect of this blended BenOmnitrix person #one that the main Ben personality kind of pushes down and is now shining through with Ben kind of retreated #and it loves Ben so so much #and is furious and protective as hell on his behalf #can you imagine talking to someone you know super well and finding them almost exactly the same but still *different*#and almost perfect copy bc it IS ben the watch knows every single detail about ben #its honestly just the motor issues and its more forceful aggressive personality #but once that smooths out... how would they even know if Ben 'returned'#is it really a return if hes been here all along and its just been a different aspect of a personality #ok Im getting way too metaphysical when I have work early tomorrow #friendly reminder this au haunts me #I am incapable of thinking of it as cute #when the very idea terrifies me

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tangledstarlight · 4 years ago

Photo

...i said i was going to make it and well, here we are i guess. im so sorry for this.

Carlos Molina’s to Guide to Ghost Hood (title subject to change)

welcome to the 1st edition, maybe i’ll make a 2nd if i get inspired enough but also, this is such a mess already i don’t think the world needs a part 2 dfghg

Link to the power point is in the first reblog. (i’d highly recommend watching it for the full experience dfgh)

Link to ao3 also in the first reblog.

below the cut is the accompanying fic and description of the rules/guide.

The tape recorder lets out a low buzzing sound as Carlos presses a button on the side and stands it up between them on the dining room table. Julie shoots an amused glance at Reggie who’s taken up residence in the chair next to him, the two of them flipping open notebooks and clutching pencils.

“Where did you even find a tape recorder?” She wonders, stretching out a finger to touch the silver rectangle only for her hand to be swatted away by Reggie.

“Found it in a box of moms stuff and dad said we could order some tapes from amazon,” Carlos replies matter of factly, straightening up in his chair once he seems to have found the page he was looking for. “Right. Let's start off easy, shall we?”

He looks at her expectantly and Julie rolls her eyes, waving a hand at the two of them, “Lets.”

“Question one,” Carlos taps his pencil at the top of his page before squinting at her, “Did you conduct any séance related activities before the ghosts showed up?”

Julie blinks at him, wondering if he’s joking but the pair of them just look back at her, heads both slightly tilted and it’s at that moment that she realises how serious they’re going to be about this. It was going to be a long afternoon of questioning apparently.

“No, I didn’t conduct any séance related activities. I just put on their CD and they y’know, fell out of the sky.”

“Interesting, interesting,” Carlos mutters as he looks at Reggie’s notebook as the older boy writes her answer down, underlines something and taps it with his pencil that makes Carlos let out a small hm. “So you don’t know anything about the dark room? Didn’t make any wishes?”

“No,” Julie shakes her head, watches Reggie write something else down and tilt his notebook to Carlos. It’s weird, watching them communicate like that, like they’ve created a shorthand between them and don’t even require her presence to have a conversation. Which is obviously true because they’ve clearly discussed all this beforehand.

“You walked through Luke right? What did that feel like to you?” Reggie’s question catches her off guard and she looks between them, but Carlos is already looking at her, waiting for her answer.

“It was um cold? But also not. I--” she frowns, trying to think back to that first night in the kitchen when she’d turned around and walked through him. Back when she’s barely known any of them and was more annoyed by their presence then comforted. “It was weird. The first few seconds after I walked through him I just felt cold but then it was like a rush of warmth? You know when you get one of those random shivers that runs through your whole body? It feels all weird and tingly but also kinda nice? Like that.”

“Did it feel like you got a feel of Luke?” Carlos asks and Julie shrugs, a slight blush on her cheeks and somehow, despite the fact they can’t see each other, the two of them share a look.

“What’s the next question,” anything to move off the topic of walking through Luke and how it felt.

“Oh Julie is gonna be so pissed at you guys,” Alex mutters but makes no move to step in and stop the ‘experiment’ currently going on. He watches as Reggie tries to put a hand on Carlos’ shoulder, fingers phasing through the younger boy's jacket with a frown.

“She won't be pissed if it works,” is all Reggie says, face morphing into one of concentration as he slowly lowers his hand on to Carlos’ shoulder again.

For his part, Carlos bounces slightly on his toes, eyes fixed on the notebook in Alex’s hand in case they need to tell him something. And okay, Alex might not fully agree with the way the two of them are going about this whole thing, but he can’t say he’s not on board with it. Their whole stint as ghosts has been nothing but confusion after confusion that not even Willie has answers for. Does he think Reggie and Carlos are going to uncover some fundamental thing that makes them the way they are? Probably not. Will they maybe get him some kind of answer? God he hopes so.

Especially since there’s been small moments in the last few weeks where Ray and Carlos have been able to hear them even without them playing music or Julie nearby. Which had scared all of them. Thought it was nothing compared to Ray’s reaction when he’d apparently walked into the kitchen to find Julie and Luke hugging, only for him to vanish when they suddenly let go. It was a hell of a way to find out they could be seen if they were touching her.

“Oh!” Carlos suddenly exclaims, head whipping to look at his shoulder where Reggie’s hand is resting solidly on the fabric of the jacket. Alex feels his eyes widen a fraction and watches Reggie’s smile widen as he squeezes slightly on Carlos’ shoulder. “Oh my god! I can feel that!”

“Holy shit,” Alex whispers, grip on the pencil in his fingers growing.

“Hey! I heard that too! Quick! Write it down! 30 minutes and- and however many attempts it took!” Carlos grins, face turning towards him and Alex doesn’t even have time to feel guilty about swearing before he’s scribbling in Reggie’s notebook.

“Thanks again for taking me,” Carlos says as he pulls his seat belt across his chest and clicks it in, eyes drifting from his tia in the front seat to the little notebook resting on the back seat and the pencil that’s hovering just a few inches off the paper. Subtly he sees it tap on the page, once, twice, and he bites down on his grin, tucking his hands under his thighs to stop from bouncing in his seat. They’re ready.

“Of course mijo,” Victoria smiles over at him as she turns on the engine, fingers already messing with the buttons on the radio to find her favourite station. “I have to say I’m impressed. Planning ahead for your dad's birthday.”

“Mhm,” he agrees, his eyes on the notebook that he can just see in the rearview mirror. The pencils resting between the creases in the pages and he holds his breath as the radio jumps to a different station.

Victoria frowns slightly, her eyes darting from the road to the radio and back, hand reaching out to change it back. When it jumps to another station. And another. Carlos feels his eyes widen a little, legs bouncing on top of his hands as he watches the radio cycle through station after station, only lingers for a few seconds on each before moving on.

Finally it stops, the words of Despacito ringing through the car and it’s lucky they’re at a red light he thinks, because when Victoria tries to change it it jumps right back.

“What the f-” she starts, the furrow between her brows growing deeper and the knuckles on her hand that’s still gripping the wheel turning white.

“Can we leave it? I like this song,” he looks over at her with a smile, blinking in what he hopes is a completely innocent way. He’s pretty sure she’s too distracted by the radio to question it.

“Sure, sure,” she mutters, not even looking at him, eyes going from the road to the radio.

The song ends and from the corner of his eye he can see the pencil in the back moving, Reggie or Willie writing something down and he has to stop himself from turning around to see what it is. Instead he watches as tia starts changing the radio station again, her fingers never leaving the touch screen as if that was the problem. But the second she lands on her favourite 80’s classics station and is moving her fingers away it changes. Skipping through stations again until Despacito is once again filling the car.

It’s probably lucky that they’re at another red light and that there’s no one behind them because her eyes widen and she’s suddenly saying words in Spanish that he knows he shouldn’t know and is pulling over to the side of the road.

“We have to get out! The car is being possessed! Out, out Carlos! Come on!” Her seat belt is off and her door is open before Carlos even has a chance to process what’s happening. The notebook from the back is pushed in front of his face and he tilts his head a little to side to read Reggie’s familiar handwriting,

Too far?

“Maybe,” he whispers back, taking the notebook out of the ghost's hand as he starts to get out of the car, plucking the pencil out of the metal spirals and making a note about not pushing tia in a moving vehicle and to wait until after they’ve gone shopping first.

She’s got her phone pressed to ear when he joins her on the sidewalk, pacing up and down. Carlos is pretty sure there’s going to be a family dinner story time in their near future.

Luke watches as Carlos sets his tape recorder up, idly plucking out a half finished tune on his guitar in order to be seen and heard. He doesn’t really get the other boys interest in figuring out their ghostly state of being. The same way he doesn’t really care about finding answers to all of Alex’s questions.

They ate some bad street dogs. They died. Julie brought them back and then she saved them a second time. They can play music and sometimes be seen. He already has all the answers he needs and it’s two words: Julie Molina.

Would it be nice to know what the black room was? Sure. Did he sometimes wonder why they could be seen but other ghosts couldn't? Sometimes. Did he want answers? Only if someone was going to give them to him without having to do the work. Was he going to sit here and answer all of Carlos’ questions because it was important to him and to the others? Fuck yeah he was.

“Does that think pick up our voices even if we’re not playing and not near Julie?” He nods at the recorder on the table after Carlos hits a button.

“Yeah! It’s so cool too. You sound like, all static-y and I have to listen really hard sometimes because your voices fade in and out but they’re there!”

Okay, Luke can admit that is pretty cool, “That’s wicked. Maybe we should start using that to communicate instead of writing.” He was really sick of people commenting on his handwriting.

“Dude that’s genius! It would be like leaving each other voice notes!” He gestures in the air with his pencil the same way Julie does when she’s realised the issue with a verse and Luke smiles softly. He doesn’t know what voice notes are, but he’s glad he could contribute to the communication issue.

“What questions have you got for me then little dude?” He raises an eyebrow at Carlos as he flips through his notebook.

When he’d first knocked Alex down Willie never thought it would lead to him sitting in the Molina’s family living room, a whiteboard resting on his knees as a twelve year old shows him bar graphs and pie charts of information on ghosts.

There was probably some kind of domino-butterfly effect going on that had led him here. But he’s too busy trying to fit all his know ghost knowledge onto a whiteboard so Carlos can fill in the gaps in his knowledge.

Over the years Willie has met a lot of lifers, has interacted with a handful at the HGC but he’s never met a family like the Molina’s. Who found out ghosts were real and instead of running, or trying to profit off of them, had just...welcomed them into the family. Arms wide and hearts open.

And more than that, here was Carlos trying to get answers to questions that none of them really had an answer too.

“Black room, yes or no?” Carlos asks, holding up a flash card and a clothes peg, ready to add it to the line of string stretching across the room. It was already littered with other cards in an order that Willie really didn’t understand but seemed to make perfect sense to the younger boy and Reggie.

Not for me, or anyone I asked at the club, he scribbles down, turning to the board around.

“Just like we thought,” he nods to himself, taking two steps to the left and reaching up to attach the card, “An anomaly.” he whispers it to himself and Willie has to bite his lip to stop from smiling before remembering that Carlos can’t actually see him.

“Hey,” Alex’s voice from the doorway drags his gaze away from the lifer and the smile he’d been trying to stop spreads across his face, “How’s it going?”

“I don’t think we’re even half way through,” he chuckles, gesturing with one hand at the stack of flashcards and the charts he hasn’t even seen yet. “Do you understand this system?”

The exasperated laugh that leaves Alex’s lips is answer enough before he’s even shaking his head, strands of blonde hair dipping into his eyes and Willie wants to reach to move away, “Not a clue. They’ve tried to explain it to us but it makes zero sense to anyone but them.”

“Hey, Alex, stop distracting him, we’re working here!” Carlos’ voice makes him jump, head turning back to where he’s standing with his arms crossed and shaking his head in disappointment in the vague direction of where Alex is standing.

“Wait, can he see you?” Willie frowns, mind trying to remember if he knew this or not.

“No, he’s just really good at sensing us these days,” Alex sighs, but there’s a fond look in his eyes as he looks at Carlos, “He says it’s his ghost powers kicking in from how often he hangs out with Reggie and from all the failed teleportation experiments.”

“The failed what now?”

“Oh, you’ll find out. I think it’s section 7?” Alex grins, pushing off from where he’d been leaning against the doorway and waving.

Willie turns back to Carlos feeling a little more confused than he had minutes ago but also much more intrigued about teleportation experiments. And if he could help get some answers for any of the many questions Alex had, that was cool too.

Carlos Molina’s Guide to Ghosting. So you became a ghost, huh?

(working title, subject to change)

By Carlos Molina, with special thanks to Reggie Peters and Willie Skateboard.

1st Edition.

Dedicated to Alex Mercer, so he can stop asking so many questions. We’re working on it buddy.

1. Tangibility

They can walk through anything (except my sister now, reasons still unclear).

Works especially well with walls, doors and locked vaults (see exhibit a)

When they walk through people it “allows them to get a feel for the person” – Reggie Peters. “It’s weird” – Alex Mercer. No comment from Luke Patterson as he was too busy staring at Julie.

2. Souls

Objects can be attached to their souls.

Still unclear if it has to be an object that they were close to in life, or if they can attach their souls to any object once a ghost.

Experiments with Reggie Peters are still ongoing. Updates will follow.

3. Being Seen

Can be seen by “lifers*” when they play music with Julie.

This is the first rule which only applies to our ghosts.

They can be heard when they play music without Julie. This is also unclear as to why, working theory is “Our music is just so awesome it transcends deaths!” – Luke Patterson.

Mr Willie Skateboard was quick to point out it’s “weird” and “ghosts aren’t supposed to be seen by lifers.”

4. Touching

Our ghosts can now touch Julie. The biggest change in their afterlife.

Still no explanation for it. Experiments are ongoing (see exhibit b)

Have witnessed Julie hugging the air many times only for Alex or Willie to appear. Same with hand holding. (see exhibit c for dads reaction)

5. Magic

Some ghosts have powers and abilities.

Willie* can control different types of technology. Appears to work best with cars. This we believe correlates with who a ghost dies.

In our expedition to test his skills he skipped through 15 different radio stations of Tia’s car until he found one playing despacito. Test was a success. Tia does think her car is haunted now however.

6. ???

There was a dark room.

All other ghosts interviewed had never heard of it before.

All our ghosts agreed it was weird and creepy.

We are choosing to pretend it didn’t happen.

Working theory: a hole in time that they fell through. Must find a way to test.

7. Teleporting

part 1)

Ghosts can teleport wherever they want in the world.

Only the most powerful can teleport a lifer with them (will keep attempting)

part b)

Our ghosts can pinpoint Julie’s exact location wherever she may be in the world.

Will be helpful if she is ever kidnapped, Julie however wishes they would stop using said power to find her in gym class.

“I already have find my friend activated” – Flynn had to say on the matter.

part c)

Julie can summon the boys to her if she concentrates hard enough. Came in handy when an evil magician tried to kidnap them.

Also possibly how they escaped the dark room, no way to prove or deny this as dad won’t let me eat a bad hotdog to become a ghost.

Working theory: magic of music and family

See Exhibit d

See Exhibit e

#julie and the phantoms #julie molina #luke patterson #alex mercer #reggie peters #carlos molina #willie jatp #willie #ray molina #jatp #this is...this is really something that i made huh #why did i do this #i just. okay #you gotta read the power point as if carlos and reggie are presenting it btw #and reggie is wearing a sheet for the aesthetic

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mutigold · 4 years ago

Text

∞ teacher’s pet — i.n.

summary: in which the top student fails a test and gets extra help from his favorite professor.

pairing: student!jeongin x teacher!reader

genre: college!au

warning: sub!jeongin, dom!reader, pet play, noona kink, exhibitionism, handjob, ear licking, humiliation, quirofilia, seduction, he still has his braces.

word count: 1.9k

authors note: i really don’t know where this idea came from, but all i know is subby jeongin = 🤤. thank you for supporting me! watching people like my little writings really make my day.. hope y’all enjoy this <3. stream “Going Dumb”!

“would anyone like to explain what it means to be dependent on an organism?”

jeongin’s eyes concentrated on you, as he listened to your voice encompassing the leveled platform. today’s lecture was based on the living organisms in the world and you seemed to be determined for everyone to learn the curriculum.

however, jeongin could not focus on anything except your figure. you were wearing a white skin-tight turtleneck and black formal pants that emphasize your ass. all topped off with a large suit jacket and black louis vuitton heels.

it overall made his heart jump for joy just enjoying the view.

he thought about how those heels would look wrapped around his waist as he pounds into you; screaming his name. or maybe how your tiny hand would slip around his throat as he begs for your come.

“mr. yang?”

jeongin quickly snaps out of his trance to hear you calling his name. and not in the way he wanted.

you looked up at him with sad eyes, upset at him for not paying attention to your favorite lesson. “what’s going through that head yours? is it more important than organisms?”

he quickly fixed his posture, shaking his head rapidly, and responded with, “n—no, i’m sorry noona. i just was thinking too hard about something. i’ll promise to listen from now on.”

you hummed with caution, continuing the biological lecture. the student sighs gratefully for you letting him go off easily and tries to at least take some notes.

“yo, i.n. you okay?” a familiar voice whispered.

jeongin turns to see his two close friends, seungmin and felix, staring down at him in question. “yeah, you seem a little off today.”

confirming he says, “uh. y—yeah; i’m okay.”

“mhmm. okay with staring professor y/n down huh?” felix smirks.

the heat on i.n. 's cheeks becomes noticeable when hearing about his staring. he then tries to ignore the statement by writing his name and the current date in his notebook.

“leave him alone felix. he’s just probably having some problems with the lesson; you should perhaps ask noona for help.” seungmin tries to intervene.

“yeah; i mean, maybe noona can also help you with other problems. if you know what i mean.” felix grins bumping jeongin’s arm.

“f—felix!”

“boys?! care to tell us what is so interesting other than my lesson?” your voice suddenly booms throughout the room. jeongin jumps at your tone and begins to apologize again once making you soften.

“that’s alright, but please pay attention. oh, and jeongin, stay after class for a few minutes to speak with me.”

he didn’t know what to think at that moment; with felix oohing in one of his ears and seungmin trying to shush him in his other or the fact that you wanted to talk to privately.

alone, with no one around, made his mind officially shut down.

“you wanted to speak with me noona?”

you shifted around to see jeongin’s stiff form; then took note of how nervous he looked and gave him a light smile. “hey, kiddo. i just wanted to see how you were doing lately.” you wished to see some type of relief release through him.

but unfortunately, that didn’t happen.

he still looked kind of anxious to speak with you, letting you know how intimidating you seemed. “hey it’s all good, you're not in trouble or anything, i promise. i’ve noticed how you’ve been acting recently in my class and how your scores dropped a little,” you reassured.

“ai! i’m so sorry noona!”

you giggle at the student’s consistent apologies. in your mind, you thought how cute he was; like a puppy aching to gain approval from its owner.

maybe you could make him as your puppy and work hard for that admiration.

immediately, you shake your head from the naughty images. ever since the semester started a few months ago, your thoughts almost ran around yang jeongin.

how his pretty smile, concealed by clear braces, shined at your speaking, how his crescent-shaped eyes followed your every move; making you feel sexy, how large and veiny his arms grew over time within the season, etc.

“that’s alright, jeongin. i just want you to feel comfortable in my lectures. how about this, you and i have a session later this evening to cover the material for the next exam. what do you think pup’?” you offering, accidentally calling him by the pet name you gave him.

after catching the tiny nickname, jeongin clumsy drops his possessions while feeling something swell in his pants. he begins to overthink the word. pup’? why did that sound so nice coming out of your mouth? and how was he gonna hide the fact that his dick got hard in the middle of their conversation?

“i–i’m sorry!”

“oh! no worries hun! here; let noona help you out.”

you instantly proceeded over, bent down, and gathered i.n.’s school objects. starting with some of his blue pens, his macbook, and then his green two-subject notebook. “n–noona! i got the notebook, it’s okay.” jeongin stuttered.

it was almost like he was trying hard to hide something in the notebook, and suddenly it all made sense as it opened to the front page.

yang y/n. it was his surname combined with your first name.

it seemed as if time swiftly froze with silence when discovering the secret. however, it didn’t bother you essentially much as jeongin thought it would have had. “aw, pup’, this is cute. yang y/n has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”

the air that was in jeongin’s lungs properly stopped working when distinguishing how seductive your tone became. “i–i..”

“relax a lil’ pup’. listen, will you promise to meet me later this eveningfor some tutoring. i think you could really use it. plus if you’re good–”

you shifted closer to the student’s ear lobe and whispered, “–noona could give you a reward.”

jeongin swore he felt some pre-cum drip down from his pants. “y–yes, noona.” he swallowed trying to moist his dry throat, then jumped moaning in pleasure when your small hand gripped around his erection.

“good. see you then, pup’.”

a few hours later, jeongin ends up at the university’s public library, not knowing what to expect. though, he did make sure to be ready for any possible situation. what did you mean by rewarding him? did you feel the same way he did?

you must have since you did touch his swollen cock during your conversation. or maybe it was just his imagination?

jeongin sighs restlessly thinking of the concept while waiting for your arrival. that soon ends as he hears your alluring voice greet out, “hiya pup’! ready for our lesson?”

he peers up from the library’s table to see you wearing informal clothing. a tight crew neck that reveals your smooth arms extending down to red-painted nails and large breasts bouncing with every step you take.

“ah! i hope you weren’t waiting too long, i got held up in traffic.”

“t–that’s okay noona! i just got here.”

you smile at his nervousness, now acknowledging where it came from, and sat down in the hard chair right next to him. “good, we can get started. i hope you’re ready,” you whispered, feeling an urge to dominate.

jeongin gulps recognizing a certain excitement coming from his pants within hearing your tone and replies with, “r–ready?”

“so, what does adaptation consist of?”

jeongin couldn’t comprehend what you were saying being he focused on the way your glossed-up lips looked. the way he could imagine it wrapped around cock or it traveling up and down the side of his neck molding kisses; it worked him to the point where he was solid hard.

“pup’, what is going through that mind of yours?”

“s–sorry. it’s just, i guess this lesson isn’t grasping in my head yet.” he tries to explain not wanting to upset you.

however, instead of upsetting you, your colored eyes just darken. “oh! i have any idea; remember when i said i would reward you if do good–”

jeongin nods excitedly, making you giggle.

“–well, i know you understand the concept of this chapter. so to push you a little more, i’ll ask you a question and if you get it right, that little cock of yours will get to come.”

the student freezes up at your approach, thinking it was a dream too good to be true. “w-wait what?”

“what is the definition of homeostasis?”

“i, uh, i think it's an organism's constant adjustment to maintain stable conditions in itself?”

you reached under the table discreetly and unbuttoned the pants on jeongin grasping his swollen cock. “o-oh my god, noona!”

“shh, pup’. you gotta be quiet for me; now onto the next question. who created the biogenesis theory?”

jeongin’s breath became too much for him to handle feeling the pre-cum drip from his blood-filled tip. “n–noona, please.”

“come on puppy, tell me the answer or i stop.”

his mind starts to rush trying to find the answer before you let him go. it took him a couple of seconds, but once he got it, he hurried to speak. “henry charlton bastain!”

“good puppy.” your tiny hand moves faster, satisfied with the statement. you felt his cock throbbing with every stroke you took. like jeongin, you dreamt of this same exact moment. you wanted to control the poor student every time he walked through your room, when he made eye contact with you, or even when his plump bottom lip was bitten from his teeth.

and finally, it was happening.

“oh, who’s a good puppy for noona?”

“m-me! i am noona.”

“that’s right pup’. next question, what are the five steps to the scientific method?”

i.n.’s vein from his cock popped out sensing the rubbing moving faster than before. “i only know four noona!”

“too bad, i wanted five or i slow down.” you coldly demand.

jeongin began to try to think hard on the five steps letting the sensation run through his body. “o-okay. it’s defining the problem, making a hypothesis, testing it, analyzing the results… then..”

your hand slows at his hesitation. “give me the last one puppy.”

“oh! noona, don’t stop! i–i. is it d–drawing the conclusions?”

“good puppy!”

his cock grows bigger when your finger grips at the base. then, you painted nails lightly scratch at his tight balls. “oh! noonaaa. that feels sooo goood. pleaseee.”

“continue to answer like a good pup’ then i’ll keep going.”

soon after the next few questions, jeongin sits near his breaking point. “nooonnnaaa! please!”

“grab your textbook and hold it up.”

i.n. clutches the hard-covered biology book to cover both you and him from public eyes. suddenly, you lower yourself to his lips, deeply kissing him with tongue, and wander towards his earlobe. “one more question, pup’. what does stimulus mean?”

“uh! noona! please let me come! make your puppy come!” he moans a little too loud.

“shh. answer the question, then i’ll let you come.”

“s-stimulus? it m-means anything an organism responds to.”

you then move your head to spit down to moist his penis. “good puppy! getting your small cock rubbed in front of everyone like a little slut.” you cup the back of his neck feeling the shivers release through him.

“you can come pup’, come for noona.”

jeongin then lets go, coming hard in your hand. “o-oh! thank you, thank you noona!”

after guiding him to his high, you let go of him and licked the white, sticky substance from your hand.

“good puppy. i’m sure you’ll be ready for that next exam.”

#stray kids #skz #skz imagines #skz jeongin #skz smut #skz x reader #skz x stay #skz x y/n #skz x you #smut #sub!idol #sub!skz #sub!jeongin #dom!reader #kpop #kpop smut

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autisticandroids · 4 years ago

Note

yknow those episodes where a character's whole personality gets split into 3-5 different distinct separate bodies? what bodies would cas have? I feel like it'd just be a mess tbh, imagine 5 different castiels all of them loving dean to a certain extent but showing it VASTLY differently. one cas would literally want to murder the others lmao

okay so i don’t actually think this trope would be an effective tool for analyzing cas? he’s not conflicted enough in himself. he’s too impulsive, too singleminded, too uninhibited. like, in the end, cas always ends up doing whatever he wants. there aren’t multiple discrete voices vying for control, really, or rather, if there are, one is always significantly stronger than the others. like in the end cas will always end up eating raw meat off the floor, you know? he’ll do what he wants. if i was going to do personality splitting i’d do it to someone intensely internally conflicted, like dean.

however, because i’m in an essay writing mood today, i’ll answer a question slightly to the left of the one you asked. cas may not be internally conflicted, but he is intensely changeable. these two things are related, actually; the same impulsivity and singlemindedness that mean he doesn’t have a ton of internal conflict at any given time mean that different ideas sound good to him at different times, because he isn’t really thinking about, say, what future-him will think of them. and he’s not really trying to maintain an image or identity. he’s just doing what feels right at the time, which is very different at different times and in different situations.

anyway, that in mind, i think a lot about ways to bring together many alternate versions of cas which sort of correspond to different times in the show.

i have a fic in my head about a bunch of cas-es pulled from alternate timelines by some kind of spell. so this would be set during the widower arc because the basic impulse here is to show dean a very bad time. just absolutely put him through hell. also, all the alternate timelines are different because different stuff happened, not because cas made different choices, because if we’re torturing dean it has to be like 5x04, the changes in cas can’t be cas’ fault. they have to be dean’s or just like, the universe’s (which makes them dean’s).

so dean is trying to bring cas back, and he finds some kind of spell that can bring someone “from another world.” and he tries it because hey. can’t hurt to try. anyway i’ve thought a long time about different versions of cas i would put in this and here is what i have. in order of when the timeline split off.

- a cas who never raised dean from hell. think 14x13 “lebanon.” this one i’m not too sure about, like, this could be fun, but i don’t know if it’s different enough from the next one. like this castiel would have lived through the averted apocalypse and subsequent general fuckery that happened as an angelic footsoldier, which would actually be pretty interesting now that i think about it, especially since all that stuff would have gone down soooooooo differently without cas specifically for your average angel footsoldier. like cas has PERSONALLY caused more upheaval in heaven in twelve years of spn than there seems to have been in millennia. so he would be the point of view of a normal footsoldier from a totally other world.

- a cas who died mid season four, and is pulled out of the empty in 2017 by this spell. i’m not sure when this cas died. my thoughts are (1) killed in on the head of a pin by alistair, (2) killed during his torture in the rapture, or (3) simply never resurrected after lucifer rising. (3) makes the most sense, but that cas has already thrown away everything for dean. i prefer the idea of a cas who loves dean, is already on the brink of disobedience for him, but has not yet taken the plunge. both on the head of a pin and the rapture are great places for this, and they both have strengths and weaknesses. if he died in the rapture, he was killed by heaven, which is fundamentally more fun, but he was also really very much over the edge already. if he died in on the head of a pin, he wasn’t killed by heaven, but he is perfectly teetering on the brink of falling for dean. regardless of when he died, the purpose of this cas is to be horrified at all the various and myriad ways he has destroyed and corrupted himself for dean in the other timelines.

- possibly endverse cas, who would have died in 2014, but like s4 cas, would have been pulled from the afterlife by the spell. i’m not so sure on this one. we as a society love endverse cas but i dunno what purpose he would serve. maybe endverse cas didn’t die in 2014, and instead was imprisoned by lucifer, because, you know. he’s the only brother lucifer has left. so he is very excited to see dean alive and well, since his dean is dead, and, not being an angel, cas can’t bring him back. the purpose of this cas would be to horrify dean that cas loves him and needs him so much, and to disgust the other cas-es with his neediness.

- a cas who was in some way on better terms with dean during s6. maybe dean and cas ride off into the sunset together after swan song instead of dean going to live with lisa, maybe dean prayed to cas while he was with lisa because he missed him, who knows. either way, cas has dean’s help with the angel revolution in season six from the start, and never goes to crowley. the plan cas and dean come up with to beat raphael includes breaking into the cage and stealing the grace of michael and lucifer, freeing sam and adam in the process. incidentally, it also involves cas possessing dean, because if cas is gonna eat archangel grace to become more powerful, he’s going to need a stronger vessel. so cas and dean have a whole like. midam situation happening. they’re a double archangel together, and godstiel never happened so none of the other terrible apocalypses that stemmed from that happened, and everything is pretty cool where they’re from, and also they’re obviously uhhhhhh SOME kind of together. the purpose of this cas is to upset dean because this cas shows how much better everything could have been and how much better his and cas’ relationship could have been if dean had simply been more considerate of cas in s6, and also freak dean out with how uh. close. this dean and cas are.

- a godstiel who managed to swallow purgatory without swallowing the leviathans and remained god. he’s probably soooomewhat less scary and murdery than canonverse godstiel because no leviathans, so you know, not as many angel purges or massacres on earth. and he probably went and fixed sam’s wall within about three days because cas is prideful but he does NOT like it when dean is mad at him. so they did kiss and make up, and so this cas would have had dean to act as his morality chain. but he’s still very scary and godstiel. and also he refers to dean as “The Beloved” you know. his purpose is to freak everyone out, because he’s scary, but also, for the past cas-es, because he is a terrifying abomination that they could never imagine becoming, for the future cas-es, because he is a reminder of their worst selves, and for dean, because he is a reminder of how dangerous cas is, but also because he uh. obviously has some feelings about his dean. unclear if they are consummated or not.

- a cas who naomi never rescued from purgatory, and who stayed there. hasn't spoken to another being in half a decade, has not recovered from his emotionally destroyed state in purgatory in s8. believes at first that the spell is his dean rescuing him, and is crushed when he realizes he was wrong. like endverse cas, his purpose is to show dean how much cas needs him and depends on him emotionally, and how he (dean) is capable of destroying cas, as well as his guilt for leaving him in purgatory and how lucky he is that his cas got out. this is especially noteworthy since the guilt for leaving cas in purgatory is part of the reason dean is trying to get cas back.

- a cas who stayed human after season nine, and has built himself a small human life over the next four years. he has a job and an apartment and friends outside the winchesters and yes, he still goes hunting after work sometimes, and he's still in contact with dean, but he is also independent in a way no other version of cas has ever been. he exists to freak out dean because dean has never seen cas independent of him. he is also fairly bitter at dean since dean did kind of stop spending time with him when he was no longer useful, and our dean feels guilty for that.

- a cas who showed up twenty minutes later in 10x03, finding sam dead and dean gone, and had to chase down demon dean, and has now spent three years following demon dean around as his tragically adoring stalker, because he hasn't found a way to resurrect sam yet and he doesn't want to put dean through the demon cure until he can save sam because he doesn't want dean to experience that guilt, but he also adores dean and wants to keep an eye on him and keep him safe and also keep him from doing anything too heinous, so he just covertly follows him around the country and watches from a distance as he commits various murders and fucks his way through every local bar scene. and occasionally cas finds dean something to kill, when the mark gets hungry, and drops it in his path. his purpose is to freak dean out with the lengths cas would go for him, and the depths cas would sink to.

anyway. lebanon cas and season four cas are horrified and perhaps disgusted (lebanon cas more than s4 cas) by ALL of the later cas-es, and how far they’re fallen, all of it for dean. godstiel and archangel cas being abominations, endverse cas and s9 cas being fallen, even purgatory cas and demon dean’s cas for their total dependence on dean.

purgatory cas and endverse cas are just happy to see a dean, even if it’s not their dean. demon dean’s cas, too, in a way. he’s happy to see a dean who is still human, who he can still have as a friend.

human cas is pissed to see that he was right, that dean would have stuck by him if he’d still had his powers, that this version of dean is doing spells to try and bring his cas, who is still an angel, back, whereas he and his dean only see each other once every couple months.

everyone is terrified and disgusted by godstiel, as i said before.

they’re mostly kind of thrown by archangel cas. a lot of them are jealous. godstiel is furious because how dare anyone, even an alternate version of himself, take dean as a vessel (even if dean likes it). godstiel isn’t really there, though, he resisted the summoning and just sort of popped his head through to see what was going on, and he goes back to his own reality pretty fast without murdering anyone.

also to be clear dean has not at this point examined or acknowledged any feelings he may have about his cas besides “friendship,” nor has he wondered what feelings his cas may have for him. given how many of the cas-es were clearly in some kind of relationship with their dean (endverse cas, archangel cas) or just openly in love with their dean (godstiel, purgatory cas, demon dean’s cas), dean is forced to reevaluate the nature of his and cas’ relationship.

#spn #asks #anonymous

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