#it’s not perfect within the standard but to Kakashi it feels right

[insomnikat-mused]

What’s your fave book/song/fictional character and why maybe? ;w; hope you’re doing ok!! 💖

Oh gosh. I have had many fave book/song/fictional characters in my life, but perhaps the most enduring-- the ones I still love and appreciate and would say are defining elements of the person I have become-- are:

Good Omens. This was my gateway book into all Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman works (the former I came to appreciate much more as I got older). I was so obsessed with it the first time that I based an entire Highschool English project worth something like 30% of my final grade on it. It's the book I've reread the most (more than 5, probably less than 10). I think what got me was the perfect blend of fantasy, adventure, thriller and comedy, all told with a vocabulary easily understandable to a 10 to 12-year old. I think it was what first taught me to equate pretentious to doesn't know sh*t. I think it taught me what mansplain was before I even knew there was a word for that annoying thing that seemed to keep happening to me as I grew up. And I just really admired how Pratchett (and Gaiman, but mostly Pratchett) could dish out these really clever and honestly insightful takes on humanity facing the end of the world without once allowing the story to go dark or existential (something a lot of YA novels since, it seems, have failed to do). Yes, humanity as a whole seems to be mucking up the world. But in the end the world is what we decide to make of it, and it's filled with hope if there are still those who make choices with love in their hearts. At least, that's how I remember the takeaway feelings. Gosh, I think I'm overdue for a reread.

Song is honestly so hard. So I will default to my most recently liked Spotify song: J'ai ta main by Benjamin Biolay. Why did I like it? Because his voice is just that perfect tone of deep and husky that checks all my attraction needs. It's the sexy bedroom voice that narrates my dreams. It ripples and vibrates all the right places. In summary, this love song vibes like every one of my first romance choices in otome games.

Fictional character was the easiest choice: Hatake Kakashi from Naruto. He is my longest-standing fictional crush (who isn't, arguably, Darcy from Pride and Prejudice). Every blorbo since highschool is measured to him. He's mysterious. He's detached. His hair defies gravity even by anime standards. He reads smut novels and has 8 dogs. He goes out of his way to protect the ones he loves but doesn't like taking any credit. He doesn't care about looks which of course means he's super hot beneath the mask. And finally, his original japanese voice is absolutely within my sexy bedroom tonal range. 😂

If you've read this far, congratulations! Fave asks are still open.💫

[thefairyletters]

✨ Spooky Recs✨

I read a lot of fanfictions... More than I am proud of. I thought I should recommend as I go before I lose sight of their existence among the sea of my favorites.

Since past few days I have been craving for some creepy, unnerving fanfics that will keep me restless and awake at night. I remembered my favorites and wanted to read more of the kind so I looked up, patiently going through each story that sounded compelling. I also revisited old stories for nostalgia's sake.

Of course, rare as they are, in Naruto fandom no less, it's even harder to find a horror and mystery fic that is well written, not dropped under 2 chapters, and really keeps your attention.

🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹

Genre: Horror, Mystery, Comedy

I've rated 4 aspects of the work -

Writing – I don't judge writing based solely on the grammar and vocabulary. I also consider how the author expands upon a subject, if they are consistent with the facts, if they are able to keep the attention of the readers regardless of their creative writing skills.

Characters – If the characters are well-developed, in their given character, if OCs have any real significance to the story.

Plot – How gripping is the storyline, if the story sticks to its original plot, the structure of the story, plot holes.

Flow – Mother-of-slow-burn, slow-but-steady, steady, fast, I-am-speed

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When the flowers cry : TCOOKIES777 || M || AO3/FFN || SasuSaku || Goth Horror || Post-Canon, set during Blank Period || Ongoing

When one of the greatest medical-nin in the world goes missing in what should have been a simple delivery to the Land of Spring’s Hidden Snow Village, the rest of Team 7 must reunite to find her. But even the most powerful team of shinobi will find themselves challenged in a battle against the supernatural. With Sasuke's return, vengeful ghosts of the past will test him and his love.

My thoughts : One of the best stories I've read in a while, and top tier SS stories. I read this in one sitting. I never listen to music while reading, preferring silence, but for this one, I suggest you do as the author says. Also, keep some tissues and food with you. This story is major in mystery and minor in horror but otherwise full of SS fluff.

Writing: 10/10

Characters: 10/10

Plot: 9/10

Flow: Steady, if a bit confusing (but that's why it's mystery)

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Kyuro : silver_shot || T || AO3 || SasuSaku || Mystery || Post-Canon || Complete

“Oh,” says Naruto, “well, its sort of like that. Except in this village, the story has a way more darker ending – it basically goes like this: the girl and the guy plan to run away together. The guy steals a bunch of treasure, and stashes it away. But then, when he goes to get the girl at her village, he kills her and decides to run away with all that money. But then he is killed by the guards of the girls village and now they're both dead and the treasure is hidden away somewhere”. Sasuke stares blankly at the blond, “that story makes no sense”.

My thoughts : I know you must be thinking the same thing as Sasuke – "makes no sense". I did too, but it's a pretty cool short story. It lies on the funny, creepy side that slowly starts to lose its funny touch. SS makes stupid mistakes later on but it could be because they are MCs. The ending is very ambiguous. It's not my favorite mystery but it is something. Enjoyable read but not something I will pick again.

Writing: 8/10

Characters: 8/10

Plot: 8/10

Flow: Fast

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Moon stuttering in the sky : xfrinz || T || AO3 || Gen || Mystery || Pre-Shippuden || One-shot

Kakashi is suspicious of many things about Haruno Sakura. Too many things about her don't make sense, with too many incongruous explanations.

My thoughts : Author of this story just summarised Pre-Shippuden in less than 4k words and made some tiny changes to it. Not much though. One of my favorite gen fics yet. Read it if you haven't yet. You'll feel more sad than thrilled tbh. But worth it.

Writing: 10/10

Characters: 10/10

Plot: 10/10

Flow: I-am-Speed

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Breath mints : silver_shot || T || AO3 || SasuSaku || Comedy-Mystery || Post-Canon || Ongoing (maybe)

Their home no longer exists with the life it once had – in fact no settlement thrives anymore; they exist only in a snapshot that contradicts time itself. Families within their own homes sleep in a slumber that they cannot wake from. Those that were chatting on the street prior to the event simply drop their heads and remain unresponsive.

My thoughts : I picked it up for Mystery but I stayed for Comedy. But of course that's not to say supernatural elements in this story is not it, but it sure pales in comparison to effortless humor in this story. Lee and Kiba pair is something you don't see often but they get along too well here. Charactisation is on point as well. SS angst! + NS angst (but it's downplayed)

Writing: 10/10

Characters: 10/10

Plot: 9/10

Flow: Steady

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The Curse : sincerelyLen || T || FFN || SasuSaku || Horror || Post-Canon || Ongoing

Team 7 is unexpectedly assigned an S-Ranked Mission involving an unsolved mystery of 10 years. An eerie adventure that will test their teamwork, strengths, and greatest fears. Do you believe in Curses?

My thoughts : My all-time favourite horror Naruto fanfiction. To me, this sets the standard of how mystery and horror elements should be handled. I have never been able to get this story out of my mind even it's been years. Perfect charactisation of Team 7 with Smart-yet-Stupid!Sakura, I-can-fight-aliens-and-reanimated-corpses-but-keep-ghosts-away-from-me!Naruto and I-dont-get-paid-enough-for-this!Sasuke. I especially love OCs here. They kinda reminds me of Pillars from KnY. You must read this story, loosely based on Zombie apocalypse + curse concept.

Writing: 10/10

Characters: 10/10

Plot: 10/10

Flow: Slow-but-Steady

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Silent High : Istoria || T || FFN || Gen || Mystery || Post-Canon || Complete

A bit of the Silent Hill series mixed in with Naruto. Trapped in an illusion whose rules are unknown, they struggle to find answers before darkness consumes them.

My thoughts : One of the best mystery fanfictions I've read. I especially loved how this story handled Genjutsu in the best possible way it could without it turning into some cliche, ghost story. Though really, this story has shown what my greatest fear actually is. I will never be able to leave my back open to a wheelchair. This story has simple writing yet it gives you creeps with the twists and turns. A must read one because it is unlike any other in this list.

Writing: 9/10

Characters: 10/10

Plot: 10/10

Flow: Steady

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Silence of the Damned : Daystar Clarion || T || FFN || Gen || Psychological Horror, Mystery(?) || Pre-Shippuden || One-Shot

When Naruto wakes up to a dead body in his bathroom, he begins a quick spiral into madness.

My thoughts : Listen to Halsey's Control while reading this. Quite chilling, deals with mental issues and morbid but in a fascinating way. It gives a new meaning to Dark!Naruto, but one that actually makes sense. I never saw the ending coming... I had something else in mind and I was convinced it would be, but nope. Here's a sequel to this One-Shot (Uzumaki's War) which I never picked up.

Writing: 10/10

Characters: 9/10

Plot: 9/10

Flow: Slow-but-steady

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To the Victor : Letta || T || FFN || NaruSaku || Psychological Horror || Shippuden || One-Shot

Naruto loses the fight and Sakura is a trophy of war.

My thoughts : A very twisted NS, if you squint. It's not horror but it might as well be... it is still a disturbing story to see from the eyes of Sakura. Quite chilling to be in Sakura's shoes. But I love this because it is one shot and I loved the ending.

Writing: 9/10

Characters: 10/10

Plot: 8/10

Flow: Steady

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Under the Skin : BukkakeNoJutsu || T || FFN || Team 8 || Body Horror || Pre-Shippuden || One-Shot

Your actions don't make you a monster. Your reasons do.

My thoughts : There's a reason why Shino is my favourite team 8 member. In my opinion, Shino is also one of the strongest Shinobi of his generation. His clan techniques are just that horrifying. This story is testament to that. He is so terrible.

Writing: 10/10

Characters: 10/10

Plot: 10/10

Flow: Slow-but-steady

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Instant Message : Keelah || T || FFN || SasuSaku || Murder mystery || Modern AU || Incomplete

She gave him names to kill, in order not to be killed herself. But having blood on her hands was turning out to be much worse than dying. "…There's still round 2…3…4…" When does this game end? She asked. "Don't you see, Sakura?" He said, "It never does."

My thoughts : I read this story a long time ago and have read this twice. Personally, it has the most interesting concept of all stories in the list. It reminds me of Vocaloid series, "Bookmark of the end". Kind of. To those who are thinking of picking this up, go ahead! It's a great book and has one of the best suspense I've read in Fandom. BUT, it has been stopped in mother-of-all-cliffhangers and Author is MIA for 4 years now. But, all things considered, it remains to be one of the best stories I've read.

Writing: 10/10

Characters: 9/10

Plot: 10/10

Flow: Steady

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Monomoth : Ohtze || M || FFN/AO3 || SasuSaku || Horror || AU || Incomplete

Everything ends, eventually. Eight years after the war, Sakura's unhinged and Sasuke's obsessed. The fields are filled with corpses.

My thoughts : I read this story right after "The Curse", my favourite. From what I remember, Sakura and Sasuke are both mentally deranged, in different ways. Lots of death and gore to stomach, so not for weak readers. There's no speak of fluff in this one. Zero, Zilch, Nada. I wouldn't call it your classic 'Horror', but it is very disturbing, so psychological horror is more like it. Don't eat food while reading this one. Did I mention how Sakura is mentally disturbed beyond help in this one? And Sasuke is obsessed. If these suit your tastes, go ahead.

Writing: 10/10

Characters: 9/10

Plot: 10/10

Flow: Slow

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I hope you enjoy this list. Let me know your opinion in comments.

[konohagakurekakashi]

Will you give us more headcanons? How about Kakashi and down-time.

Aa... Well... Since you asked so nicely~

• Kakashi spent most of his time outside of the village, rather than in it. As such being off-duty or on statutory leave (with the sole exception of a chakra-exhaustion streak here and there) proved a foreign concept to the Jōnin, a very rare luxury. When he was forced to take time to rest, he mostly enjoyed taking naps on his favourite rooftop (you know the one, three buildings down from the Yamanaka Flower Shop, smack down in the Residential District, the mud-baked tiles slanted just right to provide extra back-support).

• Though they were Inu-spirits and not resident to the realm, Kakashi liked spending time with the Pack outside of 'life-threatening' missions. Spending time could constitute a wander down the many, dusty pathways that lead from the market district to the training grounds, belly rubs underneath the Hashirama canopies, treating them to home-made Kamaboko and/or egg-biscuits or (and this was Pakkun’s favourite) giving them proper baths with bubbly, flowery shampoos. They’d try a new range each month, though the little Pug always ended up gruffing that 'Floral Green' reigns supreme and resulted in the best 'body' . Kakashi wasn't sure what that meant. The fact of the matter was that they were good boys who worked hard and deserved to be rewarded/doted on.

• Kakashi uses his reprieves (no matter how short) by at least /attempting/ to be productive. Being of Jōnin-rank meant that his standard-issue blues and blacks were always put through the wringer; if not due to the nature of his missions; then through how hard he pushed himself when training. His subordinates (though terribly cute still, maybe more so than when they were baby Genin) were all chakra monsters with no grasp on restraint, resulting in his innocent bell tests morphing into an obstacle course of survival more often than not. Though Sakura’s glowing-teal fingers had a knack for erasing the blotches, bruises and the occasional broken bone (Naruto’s starry-eyed praises babbling in the background) its wonders didn’t extend to his actual clothes. As such (coupled with being a real frugal bastard) Kakashi could be found hunkered down with a sewing needle and thread on many an off-day. Because who needs new clothes when you can fix the ones that’s already a comfortable fit?

• Kakashi has always had a knack for cooking, one he honed since living by himself at a very young age. It changed from an act of necessity (one couldn’t live off of ration bars, soldier pills and water alone. Nor could one mooch off a gullible Kohai all day everyday—unfortunately) to something that he liked doing when given the chance. His culinary range has expanded from fresh water fish dishes to soups, gohan and curries; though you’d never catch him dead over a deep-fryer. Oily foods gave him night terrors while being very much awake.

• Like all Shinobi, Kakashi trained even when not on the active-duty roster. It was important to always be at the apex of your physical capacity, since a state of emergency could loom right around the corner. Clearly his usual training regime didn’t tick all of the boxes in the eyes of /some/ of his comrades. Seeing as Maito Gai always managed to find him on an off-day with a new challenge in mind. On most days Kakashi could get away with a simple rock/paper/scissors or a thumb-wrestling match; though on the days that Gai woke up particularly well-rested the Hatake found himself climbing mountains using just one hand, swimming upstream through the frigid waters of the Naka, to crashing a basket weaving contest (needless to say Gai won that round, while Kakashi only won numerous, stalk-induced slashes).

•Kakashi was an old soul (man he was an old man) and enjoyed sprawling out on one of the couches in the Jōnin rec room. The building was east-facing and always had a sunny spot with his name on it, no matter the time of day. It was perfect for doing the occasional crossword puzzle, engaging in a game of Shogi and/or Hanafuda or pretending to read over chapter twenty six of Make-Out Tactics for the thirtieth time while catching up on all of the latest gossip (the Konoha Elite were terrible rumourmongers second only to the ANBU). Napping again was also an option. Napping was /good/.

•Since Mr Ūkki, Kakashi has become the proud parent of eleven, additional plants. All of them were of the Cacti-variety since they were low maintenance and he didn’t feel too guilty with leaving them alone for extended amounts of time (one could never be too sure of the turn-around time surrounding a mission). The pots didn’t match, but each cactus had its own special nook within his small apartment. He’d spend an insane amount of time admiring every new flower or spine that made its appearance (as well as the fact that it was /still alive/ Kami this was Kakashi after all) all while sipping on a warm cup of Matcha.

•Kakashi wouldn’t be Kakashi if he didn’t at least check (should be read as BADGER) the Mission Desk once or twice during his off days, just to make sure that they didn’t change their minds and were still withholding the mission scrolls from his curious gaze and fingers. The utter exasperation oozing from the Chūnin on duty were really just an added bonus; though he could do without the flying staplers courtesy of the Godaime.

•Every morning warranted a trip to the memorial stone. This wasn’t a habit that Kakashi was willing to sojourn, even on an off day—rather the opposite. As he had more time on his hands, he would stop for flowers, sometimes stick incense (sandalwood the kind Obito’s grandmother used to burn) and took care in adding more details about all of the changes in the village and their old classmates, while he lighted the heady, scented sticks and fidgeted with the flowers.

• Reading is and always will be Kakashi’s favourite pastime, evident by the fact that he almost always has a paper-back of one of Jiraiya’s masterpieces tucked within his weapon pouch. Contrary to popular belief Kakashi does read other books and has a wide variety of reading material lining the shelves around his desk (ranging from Historical Fiction to the odd Fuinjutsu Journal). Icha Icha remains his go-to should he ever need to pass the time however. Call it favouritism if you will.

[artlessictoan]

ao3 req again, for any character watching butch!sak work out, which could not be more tailor-made for me specifically. decided to go with tenten since she hasn’t got any attention with this batch of reqs! also this might’ve gotten away with me and basically turned into teppu……… not that that’s ever a bad thing.

(requests open)

(ao3 mirror)

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Tenten had many important things to be doing right now.

She had paperwork that had been waiting for several days now and if she didn’t get on it soon her boss was going to kill her with one of his trademark ‘casual’ exercise routines; she could also help out with the clean-down of her last class, but Neji was very particular and didn’t look fondly on her ‘get it done quick’ attitude; and she had promised Lee that she would poke her head into his junior judo class at some point today and help out.

But, why would she do any of that, when she could just keep casually leaning against a wall, watching in rapt fascination as muscles pulled and stretched.

“Do you mind?”

Tenten didn’t bother to look in the woman’s eyes, instead keeping her own fixed on the thick arms that were straining and completely uncovered for her viewing pleasure. “Nope,” she said with a wide grin.

There was a low grumble, but she apparently didn’t care enough to stop her push-ups. Tenten had seen her around quite a bit recently, ever since the Might Dojo officially joined with the Hatake Gym – nominally because only together could they afford the rent of the new, larger facilities they’d both been eyeing up, but really because Gai and Kakashi were both sick of trying to find an apartment with reasonably short commutes to both of their former work-places since deciding to finally move in together – but she hadn’t spoken to her outside of some idle greetings during staff meetings.

Honestly, she didn’t know why she hadn’t leapt on her sooner, Sakura was exactly her type; short, athletic, striking, handsome looks, a cute undercut and could probably easily throw her twenty feet in the air. Maybe not quite as butch as Tenten herself was, but pretty close.

“So-” she pushed herself off the wall and stepped closer, mostly just to get a better look at the back muscles tensing with each controlled descent “-you’re an instructor too, right?”

Green eyes briefly glanced over her wide, beautiful shoulders, before dropping back to the floor as she effortlessly pressed down and pushed herself back up. “Yes, and I’ve got a class starting in fifteen, so could you maybe let me warm up in peace?”

Tenten wasn’t one to be easily deterred. “Oh? What’re ya teaching?”

“You don’t know your own gym’s schedule?” Her voice wasn’t even a little strained, even at her fifteenth rep.

“Eh, as long as I know what I’m doing then I don’t see why I need to learn everything else that’s going on.” How much trouble would she get in if she tried sitting on her back right now? She could surely take the more extreme work out.

With a grunt, Sakura finished her push-ups and rose to her feet. Tenten wanted to pout at her lost opportunity, but her attention was quickly reclaimed when she stepped up to one of the punching bags lining the walls. “I’m teaching MMA,” the woman said, checking the tape on her fists before launching into a standard set of punches.

She could smell on opportunity here. Smirking, Tenten sauntered over and stood very pointedly within the woman’s sight. “That beginner level, sweetheart?”

The full-body twitch was more than worth having to dodge the bag sent flying toward her.

Ok, maybe she’d been asking for that. She let out a chuckle and moved closer again, coming up to her side and leaning down to whisper in her ear, “C’mon, you’re not getting anything out of this old thing, why don’t you give me a shot?”

“You want to spar?” Sakura asked, pausing in her set for a brief moment, before launching back full-force.

“Hell yes.”

Bright eyes gave her a quick once over, lingering on her arms – crossed and slightly tensed, to better show off her biceps – and legs – carefully positioned to give her a generous view of inner thigh – before returning to her face with a determined look. “Let me guess, muay thai?”

She shrugged as she said, “I’ve dabbled in most things, but I actually specialise in kali, arnis, y’know, FMA in general.” Her own eyes gave Sakura a lingering examination, trailing perfectly-defined muscles like the small beads of sweat slowly trailing down her golden skin. “And you look like a classic striker to me, bet you’ve trained as a boxer.”

“A little,” she said shortly, adding a few extra punches to her drill. Still playing coy? She could work with that.

With practised nonchalance, Tenten stepped just behind the other woman, hovering just out of range of the elbows that sharply drew back before each punch, then leaned forwards to whisper in her ear, “Sooo? You wanna do it?”

There was only the slightest shudder in response. Disappointing. “I don’t think you know what you’re getting yourself into.”

“Hey, I’m dtf any time.”

The red bloomed across the back of her ears like a rose, the colour even reached her neck. Tenten could only imagine how hot her face must feel in that moment.

Aww, she’s shy, how cute.

Green eyes immediately narrowed on her as she spun in place to glare up at her. “Are you being serious right now?” she spluttered out, voice caught somewhere between disbelief and indignation, but Tenten definitely wasn’t imagining the hint of excitement lurking at the edges.

“Down to fight, babe,” she said, her most lascivious smirk spreading across her face. “Why, what did you think I meant?”

Tenten was about five seconds from getting a fist in her stomach, if the look on her face was anything to go by, but she just could not stop herself from leaning down to better meet the shorter woman’s eyes and fluttering her lashes with her best puppy-dog pout on her lips. “One spar won’t hurt, c’mon, first to ten points?”

Clearly she was still hesitant, but impatience was slowly growing in her eyes. Just a light nudge and she’d probably snap.

All it took was for Tenten to playfully knock their noses together.

“Make that first to submission and we have a deal.” She was now blazing with a dangerous mix of determination and excitement.

Is this what love felt like?

“Oho, confidence!�� Tenten’s laughter was a little giddy, but she didn’t care, already skipping back and dropping into her preferred fighting stance; her hands held close to her face and knees slightly bent. “I like that, lets see how long it lasts.”

Sakura snorted, but quickly took her own stance, more open, and significantly lower.

They lightly tapped their leading fists together, before launching into a rapid flurry of movement, Tenten blocked the punch immediately aimed at her head, jumped back to avoid the knee following it, while Sakura stepped in after every attack, aiming to close distance and keep Tenten moving.

Was she wary of strikes? Kali was admittedly more suited to that than grappling, but if she really thought that Tenten didn't have some tricks up her sleeve she was gonna be in for a rough time.

Grinning, she ducked under a vicious left hook and launched herself into Sakura’s chest, knocking her back onto the padded floor. She didn't wait for her to recover, crawling up the woman's strong, beautiful body to try and get her right arm in a lock.

This close, it was so much easier to see the well-developed muscles fluttering under dark skin, glistening in a light sheen of sweat. Despite the familiar smell of much-borrowed boxing gloves – one that Tenten knew from experience would take much scrubbing and an entire bar of soap to fully wash out – there was a pleasant muskiness and a sharp, fresh scent that filled her entire head with thoughts of burying her face into that delicious skin and just dragging her tongue-

In her brief moment of distraction, Tenten’s right arm was tucked under Sakura’s elbow, one heavy leg draped over her shoulder, trapping her upper body close to Sakura’s stomach.

Oh? Tenten experimentally tried to shift her arm into a better position, Sakura responded by pushing it away, pulling her other leg until it could wrap around her neck to meet the other. She didn’t need to be able to see it to feel how both ankles crossed tightly against her back, thick muscles tensing against her face. A picture-perfect triangle choke; apparently the woman was more comfortable with grappling than she’d given her credit for.

“You know,” Tenten said, giving herself as much room to breathe as Sakura would allow – which wasn’t much, clearly she didn’t take it easy, even for a casual spar – and flashing a grin at her captor, “I always wanted to die with my head trapped between the magnificent thighs of a gorgeous woman.”

The speed at which her entire face went red was truly astounding and, judging by the look on her face, she was very seriously considering granting that wish.

Her arm was quickly grabbed and twisted back until Tenten was forced to submit, tapping her free hand against the nearest leg until she was released, she immediately rolled away and looked to the ceiling, chest heaving and arm aching as she tried to recover. So light-headed was she, that when the head of pink hair dropped into her sight, she immediately let out a winded giggle and raised a shaky hand to poke her nose.

“Best of three?”

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[kuriquinn]

Underneath the Underneath [2/?]

Temporary Blanket Disclaimer

First Chapter

AN: Not edited yet. Honestly, I’m just amazed I could write something this week with how brain-dead I’ve been feeling. Here’s hoping things calm down soon so I can get back to my stories!

AN2: Also, I got the opening scene from a comic I saw somewhere here on tumblr. Can’t remember the artist, but if someone finds it, let me know so I can credit that person as inspiration here.

“Oh, you beautiful lady…you’re amazing.”

Hana Inuzuka freezes in mid-step, halfway through the door into the back room of her uncle’s veterinary, wondering if she’s hearing things.

“You are just gorgeous,” the voice continues, warm affection colouring the words.

A frown on her face, she peeks farther into the room and then has to resist the urge to smack her palm into her forehead. Kakashi Hatake is crouched in front a small pen, where one of the Inuzuka hounds is curled up with her puppies, congratulating the dog.

“Women all over Konoha would literally kill to have you say stuff like that to them, but you reserve it for the dogs,” she remarks as she wanders into the room and begins checking charts. She’s only an intern, but it’s generally accepted that as soon as her formal veterinary training is complete, she’ll be in charge of the place.

“Dogs I get,” the masked man replies, not budging from where he’s scratching the mother dog behind the ears. “People are weird.” The animal makes a noise of agreement, tongue lolling out in amusement, and he pats her once more before straightening up. “So, how’s the patient?”

He’s referring to Bull, one of his ninken, who is in the quarantine room sleeping off anesthesia from a recent procedure.

“He’ll be fine,” Hana says. “Uncle Kōga says the treatment was a complete success and there aren’t any poisonous toxins left. But take it easy with him for a bit. No missions and plenty of rest and fluids.”

“I’ll tell the rest of the back the same, then.”

“And I want him back here in two weeks for a follow up. No excuses.”

Kakashi is notorious for being late or absent for most appointments, and she shoots him her most challenging glare. Considering she perfected it staring down three giant wolf hounds, she knows how impressive it is. Grown men have been reduced to tears at the sight of it.

But Kakashi just snorts.

“No sense in arguing, I guess. Seems like that’s a theme with your family.”

Hana blinks. “Huh?”

“I met your sister the other day,” Kakashi says mildly. “She’s…certainly a character.”

“That’s the nicest anyone’s ever put that before,” she replies, raising an eyebrow.

“Maybe unusual is a better descriptor,” he corrects. “What made her choose demolitions over working here with you?”

Hana continues to frown at him in confusion. She’s a little unsure, considering Kakashi doesn’t really talk to her much beyond matters related to his ninken. He’s not the type to waste words, and so small-talk seems very out of character for him. At least based on the observations of a completely objective bystander.

Eventually, she shrugs.

“She has her reasons,” she says. “Let’s call them philosophical differences and a stubborn streak, depending on who you ask.”

“I’ll take your word on that. Still, it’s interesting. There aren’t many Inuzuka who aren’t actively part of Konoha’s defensive forces, right?”

His tone is casual enough, but Hana has been a shinobi long enough to recognise even an informal interrogation. The question is…why? It’s common knowledge that her twin dropped out of shinobi training after her failed Chūnin Exam. There are records of that which anyone—especially a former ANBU operative like Kakashi—could find if they looked. And he doesn’t take interest in people without some actual purpose.

“It helps that she has a natural talent for being destructive,” Hana says, noncommittal.

“I believe that,” he says with a nod. “She gave me a few of her explosive tags to try.” Hana’s eyebrows shoot towards her hairline at this. “If I hadn’t been as fast as I am, I’d have lost a limb.”

“She gave them to you?”

“Yes?”

“For free?”

“No. To test out for her,” he says slowly, and then frowns. “But from your reaction I take it that’s significant somehow?”

“For Manako, sharing explosives is kind of like giving someone a friendship bracelet,” Hana informs him.

“What exactly did you do?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Kakashi says abruptly, suddenly straight-backed and tense. He seems alarmed; she’s not sure how she knows it, because his entire face is covered, but he is.

Well, his hair kind of looks agitated, anyhow. Maybe that’s it?

Kakashi rubs the back of his head, almost sheepish, and edges to the door. “Anyhow. I have to check something. I’ll be back tomorrow morning to pick up Bull.”

“And then again two weeks to check up on him,” Hana agrees.

“Right!”

He vanishes into thin air.

“Because that wasn’t weird at all,” Hana says, making a mental note to ask Manako what that was all about the next time she sees her.

はたけ

“So, your new friend came by,” Hana begins apropos of nothing. She stands in her sister’s tiny kitchen, picking through a box of yakisoba and trying not to wrinkle her nose at the unwashed dishes in the sink.

Manako peers at her, a mouthful of noodles spilling over her mouth like she’s some kind of mutant jellyfish.

“Oo?” she mumbles, confused for a moment before her eyes light of. “Oh! A gah wih ah heh?”

She makes a demonstrative, up-and-down motion meant to mimic the masked jōnin’s hair, and Hana sniggers.

“Yeah, that’s the one. Though most people would recognise him just by the name.” Hana watches her carefully. “Looks like you made another wonderful impression on someone.”

Manako swallows.

“It’s what I do.”

“I guess it could be worse…Thanks to you, I have a stellar reputation around here. Everyone thinks I’m the good one.”

“It’s not my fault you’re boring.”

“Better boring than misanthropic.”

“You work with animals all day, you don’t get to pass judgement on my judgement of stupid people until you’ve worked in retail,” Manako reminds her.

“You’re the one who didn’t want to go into the family business.”

Her twin shoots her a single, unimpressed glare as though to remind her they are straying dangerously close to a topic that is not to be spoken of.

Hana dutifully changes the subject. “So, what do you think of him?”

“Who?”

“Kakashi.”

Manako shoots Hana a funny look. “Why would I think anything of him?”

“It’s not every day of the village’s most prolific shinobi walk into your shop. He could be good for business. Especially if you ever want to take over the place officially.”

“I doubt it. He didn’t come in to buy anything, he was just avoiding someone,” Manako points out. “That taijutsu master that has a thing for bodysuits, I think.”

Hana sniggers. “Gai? Yeah, I can see that.”

“That man exhausts me just existing within the same country as me,” Manako shakes her head.

“You can say that again…”

“Anyway, I took pity on broom-head and let him hang out for a bit.”

“And convinced him to test out your explosive tags, from what I heard,” Hana remarks innocently. “That’s impressive. Especially considering how famous the guy is for avoiding work. How sure are you that he’s actually going to do it?”

“Pretty damn sure. It’s all about knowing what people like,” Manako replies easily.

“Oh, ew, do I even want to know?”

“Probably not.”

Hana squints at her, trying to see beyond the casual tone figure out if her sister is joking or not. Manako doesn’t have the same reservations about certain behaviours as Hana does; she’s like Kiba and their mother in that respect. At the same time, she sets high standards for the people she gets close to.

And if she’s looking at this guy as friend material…

Hana chooses to tread carefully. Manako tends to be very guarded about her relationships, and even alluding to any serious interest in another person, whether it be a friend or something more, might cause her to torpedo that new relationship.  

Especially since what happened with Izumi.

Sadness creeps over Hana. She was never as close to the Uchiha girl as Manako was—they weren’t teammates, after all—but they were peers at the Academy. What happened to her was horrible.

Since then, Manako has been even pricklier than she was growing up, utterly isolated from everyone except Hana and Kiba.

But if she’s showing even this little bit of interest in being friends with someone? Even someone as weird as Kakashi Hatake?

Hana considers the very odd situation for a moment, and then nods to herself.

That settles it. Jōnin or not, the man has the emotional maturity of a fourteen-year-old boy, so at least they’d be on the same level, mentally. And he’s trained to deal with difficult cases, right? Being friends with Manako shouldn’t be too difficult to him.

Kakashi’s hypothetical feelings on the matter don’t factor into it, of course. Hana has a duty as the older sister to look out for her younger siblings.

Even if one of them is only three minutes younger.

“Well…as long as it wasn’t anything too weird,” Hana muses out loud, keeping an eye on her sister’s reactions. “I mean, it’s hard to tell with that mask of his, but he doesn’t look like he has much fun otherwise.”

“Nah,” Manako dismisses, waving her chopsticks. “He gets along with dogs. Dogs are fun. And he reads. So he probably has some vague idea about fun.”

“Things are so simple for you, aren’t they?”

“Life is way too complicated as it is. Keeping things simple keeps them real.”

“We’re shinobi, everything’s pretty real.”

“Speak for yourself. Proud dropout here. Maybe that’s why I don’t have to torture myself with in-depth philosophical issues.”

“At least not until the next family dinner.”

Manako snorts in annoyance.

They eat in silence for a bit.

“They tell stories about him, you know,” Hana says after a while, in a quieter and less jokin tone now. “The things he’s done…what he’s seen…”

“Eh, I bet he’s just as hoity-toity as any other jōnin,” Manako dismisses. “Though, he’s got some questionable reading preferences, so maybe not that stuck-up.”

“How do you know what he reads?” Hana asks, not so innocently.

“Because I’m blackmailing him to test out my equipment. Why the hell else do you think I’d give him free explosives?”

“Manako!”

“Well, it’s not exactly blackmail,” Manako considers. “It was more withholding a book he wanted to read. But then again, I did threaten him with spoilers, so maybe blackmail is the right way to put it.”

“I don’t know whether to be disappointed in you for blackmailing an elite shinobi, or to be disappointed in him for his terrible taste in literature. Especially if he’s borrowing something from you.”

“Don’t pretend like you’ve never read a romance novel in your life.”

“Romance, yes, soft-core pornography? Not really.”

“Prude.”

“Pervert.”

“Bitch.”

“Assface.”

“You realise we’re twins, right? You just insulted yourself.”

“It depends on the ass,” Hana sniffs. “Mine is nicer than yours.”

“Oh, screw that!” Manako cries, tossing her unfinished yakisoba on the counter and twisting to point at her posterior. “See this? This is gorgeous. It’s got all that padding that you’ve trained away.”

“So, what you’re saying is…you have a fat ass.”

Her sister growls and lunges at her.

つづく

Yes, I know it wasn’t terribly shippy, but I did warn you all that Kakashi and Manako’s relationship is really slow burn. It takes place over the course of years, and barring the minor failure of the Bechdel test in this chapter, neither character really thinks overly much about the other at this point in time.

Also, I realised that I’ve never really spent much time on Hana before, barring that one chapter in Unplanned. And I’ve never written her and Manako together, and I figure it’s time. Also, everyone thinks Hana is the good one…when she is clearly much more conniving than her sister, hee hee.

Comments and constructive criticism are much appreciated, and very motivating—and if you enjoy my writing, check out my original stories as they are posted on patreon!

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