#it’s not enough to make me over think to make me procrastinate instead of actually doin something abt my predicament
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phagodyke · 7 months ago
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looking up info on keloid scarring is so helpful. thanks man I didn't think of trying that one
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#well actually that kind of is relevant bc ive been trying to find more info abt tattooing keloid prone skin#which is effectively opting to wound urself. but everywhere is just like if ur keloid prone ummm. Don't do it 👍#theres not enough known abt keloids to predict if theyll be triggered or not by the healing process like it depends on so many things#i mostly get them from acne scars. but they dont always immediately appear sometimes its weeks or months after#n once u get them theyre permanent. treatments for them have a 100% rate of recurrence n will grow back bigger if u try to excise them#and they cant be tattooed over like other scars bc they dont hold ink n the irritation can cause them to get bigger too#it depends a lot on the tattoo artists skill/experience ig like u have to know Exactly how deep ur tattooing + how the wound will heal#bc if healing triggers keloids. well ill just end up with permanent scarring instead theres nothing i can do if it happens#which honestly might still look cool but its unpredictable bc they tend to extend past the original wound. n it wouldnt scar uniformly#urgh. i should probably talk to a gp n an actual tattooist abt it. i could ask to get like a rly small tattoo to test how my skin reacts#pointless thinking abt rn anyway cuz im not gonna get one any time soon i have some other shit to sort before that#but it would be so frustrating if i cant i have so many tattoo ideas i do rly want them.... :-(#ah well whatever.. im just procrastinating doing shit i need to crack on bc i cant spend another entire weekend doing nothing#after a month n a half of being on meds i feel like theyre becoming less effective. my task paralysis n focus is getting worse again :(#like its taking more and more effort its been rly noticeable at work. hoping its just bc of general mental health or poor sleep or smth#and not that im building tolerance or smth bc man. what else can i even do if that happens#this is gonna make me miserable to think abt so lets go do smth else!#at least i woke up feeling tons better today 💪💪💪 storm passed baby#.diaries
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bunieboo · 2 years ago
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the way my goal is just to keep growing and changing from the person I was yesterday but like why can’t my goal ever be a job or a career
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atlabeth · 9 months ago
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pretty boy
pairing: spencer reid x reader
summary: spencer walks in one day with a new look. you handle it pretty well.
a/n: im in the opposite of a writing slump right now (will prob fall into a writing slump right after i say this) probably because im procrastinating on essays for school and i can only write when im meant to be doing work. but tiny little fluffy spencer one shots are very good for the soul right now. i think it's my way of healing from my hotch fic
wc: 1.8k
warning(s): one slightly sexual joke from emily. all fluff
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You usually don’t get to the office this early, but you don’t exactly have a choice. The BAU’s last couple cases have all run one after another, barely leaving you any time in the office, and now you’re paying for it. 
You’ve got a mountain of paperwork to get through and not nearly enough time to do it all—if you’re lucky, you’ll be writing reports for a few days straight. If you’re not, you’ll be putting in some overtime.  
“This is the most focused I’ve ever seen you this early,” Derek comments. 
You shake your head with a sigh. “These reports are government mandated torture.” 
He chuckles, and he nods at Emily as she walks over to her desk. “Are you this busy?” 
She shakes her head. “I’ve still got a report to get through, but nothing that bad.” 
“I get it,” you say wryly. “You’re all more organized than me. Just don’t come to me asking to go out tonight—you know I can’t say no.” 
“But don’t shots taste better when you’re supposed to be doing work?” Derek asks, and you roll your eyes with a laugh. 
“Not when I’ve got this much work I’m supposed to be doing.” 
You hear the elevator ding and glance up—Spencer’s walking through and fixing his tie. You look back down at your report as you greet him. 
“Hey, Spence,” you call. “Why’re you late?” 
“I’m not late,” he says, and you can see him checking his watch out of your peripherals. “I’m two minutes and thirty-three seconds early.” 
“Really?” you muse. “I guess I’m just so used to you being here before me.” 
“You can’t judge my timeliness on yours when you’ve been here for an hour already,” Spencer says. 
You frown, tapping your pen against the paper. “How do you know?” 
“You’re settled in already. Your coat’s on your chair, your stack of unfinished files is smaller than it was last time we were in the office, your coffee isn’t steaming, and your mug has a chipped handle—when they were put away last night, that one was set in the front, so you’d have to be here early to get it.” 
“Touche,” you murmur. You’re not sure why you ever ask your team of profilers how they know something. 
“You also look like you don’t want to be here,” he comments. “That’s pretty typical of agents who have to be here before their regular hours.” 
You chuckle and tilt your head in admission. You don’t really want to be here, especially running on so few hours of sleep. 
“Why aren’t you as early as usual?” Emily asks. 
“My neighbor knocked on my door this morning to ask me for something,” Spencer says. “It threw off my whole routine. I picked the wrong tie, I couldn’t pack my bag properly, and I had to toast my bagel for two minutes instead of three and a half to make it out in time.” 
“How terrible,” Derek says with mock austerity. 
“It is terrible!” he exclaims. “It’s scientifically proven that a morning routine makes you happier, more energized, and ready to seize the day—carpe diem.” Spencer sets his bag on the floor next to his desk and looks at everyone else with a smile. “Did you know that phrase was actually coined by the Roman poet Horace in his Odes? It comes from the first book out of four in the eleventh poem—the full phrase in Latin is carpe diem, quam mini—”
“How was your bagel?” Emily asks to interrupt him, and he pauses. 
“It was good,” he says. “Could’ve been toastier.” 
You look up, a teasing remark on the edge of your tongue, but the words die in your throat when you actually see him. 
Spencer’s started combing a hand through his hair to fix it—must have been another part of his affected morning routine—his lips set in a pout as he tries to see his reflection in his dark monitor. He always looks good, even without trying, but now—
“You’re wearing glasses,” you say dumbly. 
“My contacts dried out,” he grumbles, still focused on his hair. “We got home so late last night I forgot to put them in their solution, and I had no time to fix them because my neighbor messed up my whole morning.” 
You nod, still unable to tear your eyes away from him. “Are you gonna keep wearing them?” 
“I don’t know. Contacts are better for cases because I’m not worried about them falling off or fogging up, but I usually sleep on the jet on the way back, and sleeping with contacts in isn’t good.” He smiles a bit as he fully turns to you, seemingly satisfied with his hair. “It reduces the amount of oxygen that gets to your cornea, which damages the cornea’s surface and makes it harder to regenerate new cells. Sleeping with contacts actually makes you six to eight times more likely to get an eye infection.”
You nod again, your brain still not quite working at full power. You always love listening to Spencer’s fact dumps—it gives you a lot of material to impress your non-BAU friends with on the side, and you’re eternally thankful for that—but right now, you seriously cannot focus. 
You’d never really thought about him in glasses, but that’s probably a good thing if this is how it makes you feel. 
You were valedictorian as an undergrad, and you received stellar feedback from your professors during your masters program. You’re an excellent profiler, a valued member of the BAU, and you’re a goddamn FBI agent. 
And yet you can’t find a single thought in your head because your coworker showed up to work wearing glasses. 
He’s still rambling about other common causes of eye infection and how nobody seems to take them as seriously as they should, when Derek, not even trying to hide his grin at your turmoil, speaks up.  
“Reid. Wanna cool it a bit?” 
Spencer’s eyes dart over to him for a moment before he stops. “Uh— sorry.” He frowns as he looks back at you. “Why do you ask? Do you not like them?” 
“No,” you blurt out, and you shake your head a multitude of times. “No. They look great. You look great. They’re—” You dig your nails hard into your palm as you try your hardest to smile like normal, and this time you nod. “They’re good, Spence.” 
“Thanks.” Spencer does that little smile-nod combo of his, and he pushes his glasses back into place with his thumb by the bottom of the frames. “That’s nice to know I’ve got another option.” 
You thank whatever god may be out there that Hotch and Penelope are busy in their offices and JJ is busy with some other case, because you think you would die if anyone else saw you like this. 
“Hey, Reid,” Emily says, also not doing a very good job of hiding her amusement. You hate your team sometimes. “They’re almost out of sugar in the breakroom. If you want coffee the way you like it this morning, you should probably get in there.” 
“What?” Spencer shoots up, his brows already furrowing into a frown. “That— that’s ridiculous. I can’t mess up my morning any more.” 
“You’d better get in there, then,” she remarks. 
“We’re an entire office of agents running on coffee,” Spencer complains as he starts walking. “How are we almost out of sugar?” 
“Because half of ‘em drink it black,” Derek says, and Spencer shakes his head with a sigh as he leaves. 
“That’s ridiculous.” 
You bury your head in your hands the moment he’s gone and Derek laughs. “I wish I could’ve gotten that on video.” 
“Don’t talk to me,” you groan. “It is not fair of him to walk in like that.” 
“And that is why I call him pretty boy.”
“He needs them to see,” Emily says with amusement as she leans against the side of your desk. “You just can’t control yourself.” 
“I need to transfer offices,” you say, shaking your head. “I can’t do this.” 
“You should ask him out!” Derek encourages. “He’d probably say yes.” 
“Absolutely not,” you insist. “I doubt he likes me like that. A— and even if he does, that’s the last thing either of us need right now.” 
“I don’t know,” Emily muses. “It looks like you clearly need something.” 
You let out a frustrated noise as you screw your eyes shut. “I’m doomed.” 
You hear Spencer say your name, and when you look over at him, one hand still pressed against your head, you see he’s got two cups of coffee in his hands. “Are you okay?” 
“Yeah,” you say weakly. “I’m great. Why?” 
“I got you one too,” he says, holding one of the mugs out to you. “The one you have is probably cold by now, and it looks like you need an extra kick to get through all those reports.” 
“Thanks, Spence. That’s sweet.” He nods as you take the proffered mug, and you swear your cheeks are as warm as the coffee. He is really testing your strength today. 
“You— you have a lot,” he says, and you huff a dry laugh and nod. “I’m not trying to be sarcastic. I could take half of them if you want?” 
Your grip tightens on the mug and you can feel Derek’s eyes on you. “I couldn’t make you do that, Spence.” 
“You’re not!” Spencer exclaims. “I can get through mine really quickly—we worked together for almost the whole last case so I can do all of that anyways.” 
“...You’re sure it wouldn’t be an imposition?” 
“I’m sure,” he nods. “Besides, I offered. I wouldn’t if I didn’t want to.” 
And god damn him, because he nudges his glasses back into place again, pushes a strand of loose hair back into place. You’re dying over here. 
You set the mug of coffee on your desk and pick up the top half of your pile. “All yours, Spence.” 
He takes the bottom half and smiles at you, and you smile back before he walks back to his desk. You are dying over here. 
“Let me know how I can pay you back,” you say, and he shakes his head. 
“You don’t need to pay me back.” 
“Really?” 
Spencer nods. “I mean, Morgan invited us all out on the jet last night, and I don’t think I can do it alone. If you can get out of the office in time, I don’t have to. I think that's enough of a payback.” 
“Yeah,” you say. “I’ll be there.” 
He smiles again and nods, then he picks up a pen and focuses in. You turn back to your desk, your face burning. 
“What was that about him not liking you like that?” Derek says. 
“Quiet!” you whisper-yell, swatting him with the pile of files in your hand. “He might hear you!” 
“He’s not hearing anything while he’s focused on that,” he says. “That just means you can ogle him more.” 
You groan again, letting your forehead fall into your palm. “I’m pathetic.” 
“I think you’re right.” Emily chuckles as she stands up. “You are doomed.” 
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agaypanic · 2 months ago
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To Love a Monster (Emmett Cullen X Human!Reader)
Kinktober Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Request Something! | AO3
Kinktober Day 31: Monsterfucking
Summary: Emmett never thought that he’d fall in love with a human. It’s too dangerous, there’s so many things that could go wrong. But when you look at him with those pleading eyes of yours, how could he ever say no?
A/N: happy halloween!! i know today’s literally the last day of october but i swear ill get the other kinktober fics done and posted. im finally getting medicated so i think that’ll help with my procrastination/lack of inspiration lmao emmett cums inside but reader does NOT get pregnant with a hybrid freak like bella did
C/W: unprotected p in v sex, interspecies relationship (human and vampire), soft dom!emmett, emmett trying to not literally break you, slight pain kink
***
It was so wrong, being with Emmett. It was dangerous, the amount of power he had over you without even trying. He could kill you, drain you dry without a second thought.
But you didn’t care. You loved him, and he loved you. He made sure that was known by telling you a million times a day and by being extremely gentle with you. Sometimes, he treated you like you were glass, which annoyed you every now and then. But when you were with Emmett, who had extreme strength, you might as well be glass.
Sometimes, Emmett was scared to be with you. He didn’t want to hurt you, and he didn’t want to accidentally lose his resolve around you. But when you looked at him, eyes full of want and wandering hands somehow warming his stone-cold body, he could never refuse you.
“God, you feel so good, babe.” Emmett groaned as he stared up at your naked form bouncing on his cock. Although he liked to be in control, he’d occasionally let you take the lead. If he was feeling generous, he’d even let you tie him up like he was now. 
Emmett thrusted up into you, and your hips stuttered. “So big, Emmett.” You sighed, splaying your hands out on his broad chest to keep yourself steady as you kept riding him. “Makes me feel- ah! So full.”
Your boyfriend kept fucking into you, but it wasn’t enough for him. There was only so much he could do without his hands. 
“Wanna touch you.” He complained, tugging at his restraints half-heartedly, knowing they’d snap if he actually used force.
“Where, Em?” You asked teasingly. One of your warm hands left his chilled chest to grope your breast. “Here?” Or…” Slowly, your hand trailed down your stomach, inching closer to where you and Emmett met. Two fingers ghosted your clit, and you clenched around Emmett’s hard cock at the sensation. “Maybe here?”
While you continued riding and teasing yourself, Emmett’s eyes were glued to you. You looked so damn perfect, he wanted to be the one touching you and making you whine the way you were now. 
Sensing he was getting frustrated, you leaned close to Emmett. “Do you wish you could touch me, honey? Fuck me and tease me until I’m creaming all over your cock?” Emmett let out a moan so guttural it sounded like a growl. You smiled, knowing you were about to get what you were really wanting. “Is that what you want, Emmett?”
He answered by ripping the rope that was holding him to shreds, freeing his wrists so he could finally get his hands on you. Emmett grabbed your hips and flipped you so you were the one underneath him before thrusting in and out of you like a jackhammer.
Emmett half expected you to start yowling in pain from the force of his thrusts and his iron grip. But instead, you let out an endless string of moans and locked your legs around his vast body so he wouldn’t get away. 
“So -ah, so fucking, fuck, good!” You were quickly losing your sense, becoming overwhelmed by Emmett stretching your cunt and practically slamming into your cervix. It just hurt so good.
“You’re so tight.” He hissed, fangs coming out in the midst of his heavy lust. “And so wet for me.” He dipped his head down to rest in the crook of your neck. His lips ghosted over your pulse point, your pumping blood spurring him on. Very lightly, Emmett dragged his pointed teeth over your skin. Not enough to make you bleed, but enough to send a shiver down your spine. “And you smell…” He took a deep breath, sighing as he reluctantly pulled away from you and sped up his thrusts. “Fucking delicious.”
Feeling close, you reached down to rub your clit, but your hand was quickly smacked out of the way. Emmett wanted to be the one to make you come. 
He rubbed your clit in a fast circular motion, his other hand holding your hip with enough force to not end up breaking it. You’d likely have a bruise that he would surely baby you over.
It wasn’t long before your orgasm hit, and Emmett grinned down devilishly at you as your eyes rolled back. “That’s right, babe. Cream all over my cock.” 
You did just as he said, orgasm prolonging as Emmett continued his ministrations to reach his own peak. Soon enough, he was painting your walls with his cum, fucking it deeper and deeper into you. As you both came down from your highs, Emmett slowed his thrusts. But he didn’t stop them. Instead, he decided to keep fucking you at a snail’s pace until you were ready to get absolutely wrecked again.
“That was…” You took a deep breath to collect yourself, letting out an airy laugh. “Wow.”
Emmett smirked, leaning down to kiss you deeply. “If you thought that was good, wait until you become a vampire. We wouldn’t leave my room for a week.”
***
Twilight Taglist: @wedfan2 @natashamaximoff-69 @pink-hufflepuff
Emmett Cullen Taglist: @fuckshitslover
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allllium · 4 months ago
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The Perfect Gift
~ Today is my birthday and I immediately thought about Remus being the best boyfriend ever so here's something short and sweet about Remus being amazing for your birthday <3
~ Fluff, Remus being a little insecure, WC: 963
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~ Remus gets you the perfect birthday gift
Remus was really nervous. He often is around you but this time it's worse. Today is your birthday and he got you what at the time seemed like a great gift, but now, after seeing the things you got from everything else, he doesn't feel like it's so great anymore.
All day he has seen you get these amazing, slightly expensive gifts, all of which now make his gift pale in comparison. He decided not to buy you anything this year, feeling like nothing was good enough for you, instead he made you something. More like he tries to make something and ending up needing his mum to help him.
He holds the bag tentatively in his hand. A simple black bag with a ribbon of your favorite color keeping it tied. He makes his way to the muggle restaurant you agreed to meet at for dinner. After spending all day at a birthday party with your friends and family, you went shopping with a couple close friends to get new clothes for a fancy dinner.
"Rem!" You light up when you see him. You'd just gotten there moments before and decided to wait outside until he showed up.
"Hi angel." He greets in a gently murmur, pulling you in for a quiet kiss.
"You got me a gift?" You smile and ask. Of course you expected it considering Remus gets you gifts more often than you can count.
"Obviously. I love any day where I can celebrate you." He begins to walk into the restaurant as if he didn't just make you swoon. You move quickly to catch up and grab his hand.
"What is it?" You question inpatiently. You've been waiting all day for this, not just for a gift but getting a gift from him specifically. You know whatever is in that bag will be much more thoughtful and meanful to you than anything else you've gotten today. Everything else were things that people spent a lot of money on to make up for the up they don't really know what you would want. Remus knows.
"You're gonna have to wait till after dinner."
"Awwww why?" You immediately whine.
"Cause I said so."
"Meanie." You whisper, walking up towards the hostess.
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Dinner lasts well over an hour. Well dinner lasted about 20 minutes once you got your food, but you and Remus stayed far longer. You spent the time talking and laughing and on Remus's end clearly procrastinating giving you your gift.
You know he's doing this because he's been fiddling with the ribbon and steering the conversation away from it every time.
"So what's making you overthink this time?"
For a moment he gives you a strange look but he quickly smiles and asks what you mean.
"Well you won't give me the gift which wouldn't matter except you've been really excited about it for weeks. Obviously you're thinking about something and I guarantee you have no reason to." You swiftly explain.
"I'm sorry, angel. I didn't get you a gift. I made you one well my mother and I made you one. But I don't know if it'll match up to the other gifts you got today." He shyly says. His face turning a shade of red.
"You made me something?" You grin wildly at him and his overly sweet heart. "Gimme it. Please."
"I don't know maybe I should get you something else."
"Hell no. Hand it over before I come over this table and get it myself." The threat comes out of your mouth before you have the opportunity to stop it. Remus only smiles at you, both because he knows you'll actually do it and it makes him feel slightly better about his strange insecurity.
He finally sighs and hands over the bag. Knowing he really has no choice. He watches anxiously as you carefully pull off the ribbon and remove the tissue paper. Watching as your face drops and eyes slightly tear. For a moment he thinks he was right in being scared but you jump out of your seat and move to his side of the table. Your chair scraps loudly against the tile floor and he winces at the noise.
At his side of the table you hug him enough to push the air out of his lungs. You grab his face and give him many quick kisses, ignoring the strange looks from people at surrounding tables.
"I love it. I love it. I love you!" You exclaim.
"Are you sure?" He asks, confused by your out of ordinary outburst.
"Remus this is the best gift I've ever gotten. I love you so much." You immediately ask him to put it on you. Lighting up even more if possible when you look down at your wrist to see the gorgeous bracelet. The gorgeous bracelet that your amazing boyfriend, and his mum, hand made just for you. The gorgeous bracelet with carved, metal charms dangling from it. The gorgeous bracelet that somehow fits you perfectly.
"I thought that I could make you more charms as time goes on. Things that represent what we are together, y'know." You look at him for a split second, with tears in your eyes, before looking back down to closely admire the charms you already have. As of right now there's a wolf, a star, a flower, and a sun. The sun is special. You flip it over to see a small engraved heart with both your initials in it.
"You are the most perfect man to exist." You turn to him and say. "Seriously this is the best gift ever."
"I love you." He says. Standing from his chair and pulling you in by the waist.
Putting your head against his, you whisper, "I love you more."
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tarot-by-e11e · 4 months ago
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PAC: "What are you in denial about?"
After a long time of doing ask games, I finally got to sit on my procrastinating tush and try making another PAC reading.
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We all have something we struggle to accept about ourselves, things we are subconsciously in denial about. It can be a habit, a little quirk that we're lowkey embarrassed about, or anything about ourselves that we tend to struggle to openly admit.
So, I want everyone who sees this PAC to know...
"Every facet, every aspect of yourself, even the parts that you struggle to accept or find a hard time resonating with, every little thing that makes the whole you, is worth loving and accepting.
Always remember, you're never too much or not enough for the right person."
(Note: this is for entertainment purposes only. Feel free to accept the parts that resonate and leave what doesn't. Never forget that you have free will.)
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Choose the picture that you intuitively feel called to:
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(the images do not belong to me.)
(TW: Some piles mentioned heavy topics, like pain, trauma or ab-se. Don't read through this pile if you're already going through tough times.)
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Pile 1: 8 of Wands, Page of Swords, 6 of Wands
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Hi Pile 1, the first thing that you are in denial about is how cutthroat your cut-off game is~ You’re the type that doesn’t really need a lot of time to recover from any terrible/unfortunate situation in your life. You’re not the type to cry over spilled milk.
For you, the world doesn’t stop spinning regardless if you cry your heart out or eat a whole tub of ice cream under your weighted blanket, so why get stuck with what ended?
Another interpretation for the first card is your ability to make sound decisions on the spot. This applies to your career. If a certain opportunity shows up in front of you, you can make decisive actions then and there, whether you would accept it or redirect this opportunity to someone who fits their description more.
With this specific interpretation, I picked up that Pile 1 is ambitious but not greedy (which is considered as rare combo in this day and age). If you happen to encounter a chance opportunity that will greatly benefit someone else, you don’t hesitate to recommend that person instead of taking the opportunity yourself.
It would seem that this pile subconsciously knows that opportunities are everywhere and it doesn’t run out. So why take every opportunity in front of you when you know one of your peers better fits that opportunity's requirements and skillset? You’re the pile that loves to share your blessings because sharing is caring~
The last tidbit interpretation for the first card is you’re in denial about your impulsive shopping addiction, thinking of ordering something impulsively online when you’re just about to sleep. I can already sense some of you are in denial about how many items are there in your online shopping cart~
The next thing you’re in denial about is your knowledgeable, witty, and chatty side. This card actually made me feel sad because it seems that you were made to feel that you are too talkative, some of you might be bullied about being a know-it-all.
This pile was made to believe that knowing a lot doesn’t make a lot of friends. That people who know less than you have more friends, so if you really wanted to make more friends, you were told to “dumb down” to make you more “relatable”.
There’s nothing wrong with having multiple interests and wanting to talk about it. Knowing a little bit of everything makes for an amazing conversationalist. So please, don’t let yourself be pressured to be stupid just to make friends. If the people around you aren’t interested in your niche, there’s the rest of the world that would gladly hear you talk about your interests.
Finally, the last thing you’re in denial about is you don’t feel worthy of the success and victory you aspire to achieve. Pile 1, please I beg you don’t be too hard on yourself. You don’t have to suffer to deserve the abundance you’re working hard to achieve, okay?
You deserve to be celebrated. You deserve to have your hard work be recognized. You owning up to your achievements and success doesn’t make you an arrogant person. You simply know your worth, more like, you’ll soon know your worth. There’s nothing wrong with giving credit where it is due, okay?
(this concludes your reading, Pile 1. Thank you for reading the whole interpretation of your cards. I do hope you give yourself the time and space to accept yourself, your flaws, and flaunts)
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Pile 2: Queen of Swords, Hermit, Ace of Cups
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(TW: I might unintentionally call your pile out. I do this with love, but seems my words might be a bit too blunt. So... sorry in advance)
Hi Pile 2, from the first card, it seems that you are in denial about your capability to be independent. It seems that this pile might be my parentified, burnt-out eldest child, “I can’t rely on anyone but myself; yet into too tired, so I just decided to give up on trying in life” kind of group. Could also be my fellow millennial pile~ The whole, “I was robbed of my childhood” pile.
Pile 2, it seems that you’ve seen that being a reliable and mature child brought you more headaches and early signs of grey hair, due to overwhelming stress and dysregulated nervous system. You’re like, “Screw it, I’m done being reliable, so I’m gonna start not taking the lead and just hole up in my apartment and enjoy being a NEET.
Being overly independent made a lot of people unnecessarily dump you with everybody else’s problems, which made you the community’s unofficial unpaid therapist. Being such a people pleaser, tending to everyone else’s needs led you to disregard your own well-being and sanity, to the point when you’ve had enough.
So now, you could have probably stopped trying because overachievers are forced to be people-pleasing over-givers, and you have had enough of that collective abuse of your giving and understanding nature. So you just stopped trying altogether. This led you to your current situation. Either in a dead-end job, having multiple part-time jobs that barely pay the rent at the end of the month, or unemployed. I should include a trigger warning on this pile before posting.
So with the first card alone, you’ve become hopeless and resentful of the world outside your four walls. Because when you took the initiative and did your best, instead of appreciation, you were buried with responsibilities that were never yours from the very beginning. Pile 2, you were unappreciated, that’s why you’ve reached your limit and stopped trying. But because of this self-sabotaging approach in life, you suffer due to a lack of resources, which then would further aggravate your already pessimistic outlook in life.
But here’s the thing, Pile 2. You know what you need to do to get out of your situation. You have the ability to make your life better. One way to ensure that what happened to you before won’t happen again is by establishing healthy boundaries with people around you. Yes, my chronic people-pleasing pile, I’m gonna hold your hand (in spirit) and tell this rather hard pill-to-swallow suggestion, Learn to Say NO.
I know, it sucks because it might be something you were never taught that you are allowed to do when you grew up. Either you have Pisces, Cancer, or Libra in the 4th house or you have prominent Pisces, Cancer, or Libra personal placements.
I really hate to be a bringer of bad news but in establishing healthy boundaries, you will finally learn which people in your life benefitted from your lack of boundaries previously.
Clue: they get mad that you told them No and they said that you changed in a rather condescending manner. That’s just a little clue, my Pile 2.
So from giving up on life to starting over again and owning up to your ability to be independent, it’s not an overnight change, this is a continuous journey of turning your life around for the better. So my dear Pile 2, be kind, patient and compassionate towards yourself on your path to independency.
Your whole body was so used to be in survival mode, then it went to freeze mode, so you need to work hard to regulate your nervous system to learn to be okay to put yourself out into the world again. That it’s safe to try again. That it’s okay to live your life the way you know works best for you.
Just always remember, to establish strong and healthy boundaries first, and then learn to soften a bit with selective people, every now and then. Use your discernment who deserves to have access in your life and be firm with your boundaries whenever some unsavory character tries to ruin and poison your peace.
You know what you can do, and you know what you’re capable of achieving. Regardless on how old you are right now, as long as you live, you are allowed to start over again.
Another thing you are in denial about is your natural ability for self-reflection. Some people have to learn to be self-aware enough to reflect on their actions and their impact on others, but you Pile 2 are a natural at it.
You might have experienced some sort of ostracization from your peers because you didn’t let yourself immediately conform and fit in. But you knew that doing what everyone else is doing, isn’t something that’s aligned with you. It’s like every cell in your body rejects any peer pressure that doesn’t align with your goals and belief system.
This could also be interpreted as you are in denial about being comfortable with being socially withdrawn. Being in isolation for so long, you’ve learned to be okay by yourself. This leads back to the first card about your ability to be independent. Since you can do things on your own, you don’t really rely on others, which is a jab towards people who crave constant external validation.
Your ability to be good on your own is frowned upon by a society that heavily advertises a collective, community-centric system. This ruffles a lot of feathers of those who heavily depend on others to decide everything in their lives. Basically, people with a sheep mentality won’t like you.
Which, in all honesty, it’s a great thing that people who can’t think for themselves don’t like you. Take this as a compliment, not an insult. Why would you want to conform when you know you have the ability to curate your life by your design? Why do you have to conform to look like everyone else, when you can be you for free? Think about that~
Of course, you need to take time to get to know yourself first and the process to that has a series of ups and downs, so just ride the wave with a surfer’s mindset. You’ll learn that their projections of you were never your responsibilities to begin with. Those are mere insecurities they actively decided to inflict on others. It was never your cross to bear. So why be bound by others’ fears when you have your own life to live according to your will?
The last thing you’re in denial is having opportunities to start again. This one felt rather odd to interpret because it feels more like a mindset issue. Particularly, you’re held back by your scarcity mindset, thinking you don’t have any opportunities to be abundant, when in reality, you do, it’s just that, it’s in a way that you never thought was possible. Okay, I think I’m starting to make sense of how this card is being interpreted.
So, do you about how the law of assumption works? What do you assume becomes your reality? It’s kinda like that but, it’s more of your reality unfolding to what you believe in. So let me try to break it down further with an example.
So if you assume that you don’t have a lot of going for you, then your mind will naturally find reasons/proofs around you to back up that belief. Your mind would like to reason why you don’t have a lot. Does this explanation make more sense for you? Do let me know in the comment section.
With that, the reverse is the solution. If you want to find reasons why you are having a great life, phrase your affirmations into questions. So for example, instead of saying, “The universe loves to take care of me”, rephrase it as “How is the universe showing me that it loves to take care of me?”. So when your brain hears that, it will look for signs, proofs, or shreds of evidence around you that will answer that question.
Another affirmation that you can turn into an ASK-firmation is “My life is amazing” into “Why is my life so amazing?”. Just try turning your affirmations into questions, read it first thing before you go to your phone, like any typical affirmation practice. Let me know how it goes.
(So this concludes your reading, Pile 2. I just want you to know that no matter what your age, race, socio economic class is, you have every right and opportunity to try again.)
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Pile 3: World, 7 of Wands, King of Wands
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(TW: I did not expect how unhinged the call-out is in this pile. So… like always, I’m sorry in advance)
Hi Pile 3, based on the first card, it seems that you’re in denial of your desire for belongingness. It’s giving, “I don’t care what anyone else says because I got me; then I cry myself to sleep because fck, I’m so lonely and feels so unwanted.” Yup, this pile needs a trigger warning too.
It could be that picked on you because of your uniqueness or nonconforming personal values. Another potential interpretation is being of mixed race or being in an environment that’s predominantly occupied by a different socio-economic class. There’s this heavy Uranian, almost Aquarius dominant energy in this pile.
Now, you don’t need to have the placements I’ve stated in your chart, this is just the initial vibe of this pile, the socially awkward and outcast pile. Now, as human beings, we’re social creatures, though varies depending on a person’s preference to live more introvertedly or extrovertedly. Even introverts have friends.
So with this pile, you might have been used to this prevalent shadows of alienation and ostracization by your peers/community because of the aforementioned clues above. But just because you’re used to it, it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt you or affect you in a negative way.
You know that it’s impossible to be liked by everyone, but it’d be nice to have a few like-minded individuals that you resonate with on a soul level. It’d be nice if you find your own supportive community too, which is absolutely normal. So please don’t shame yourself for wanting to belong. But you also need to remind yourself that if you have to change and dim your light to be accepted, you’re serenading the wrong crowd.
There’s this really niche suggestion because, in this economy, it’s not that easy to just pack up and leave into a different city/country that you feel called to, but if you have the means and you’ve thoroughly done your research, then by all means, pack up and go where you are appreciated.
Basically, the line goes, “Don’t dwell where you’re unappreciated.” But you still need funds, so if it helps you be motivated to get out and move away, try to do as much research on that city/country while working to save up for the necessary expenses you’d likely incur in your first 6 months in that new environment. If you need to learn the language, self-study in your spare time. Slowly find little ways to integrate the culture there into your daily life while preparing to leave.
But yes, pile 3, you’re not asking too much to wanna feel like you belong. There’s nothing wrong with you. So don’t apologize for wanting this, okay?
Another thing you might be in denial about is your overly defensive responses like easily triggered knee-jerk reactions brought about by denying the existence of your unhealed trauma from childhood. Damn, I really should put a trigger warning for this pile. Pile 3, you guys okay?? Still alive, barely breathing??
Seems to me that if you chose this pile, you got a whole lot to unfold. I can’t even make silly jokes to lighten the mood a bit. So the only thing I can do for you so that whatever time of your life you’re reading this, I hope you know, at least one person in the world wants to give you a Long Distance warm hug. I might not be there physically, but I am in spirit. But if you actually feel something holding you when you’re alone, then that’s a whole different spirit that you need to deal with personally.
So, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t stand up for yourself. What I’m saying is to be unaffected in public and execute your sassy vengeance in the shadows. LOL. But if you’re the type to be patient enough to let karma do its thing, then just wait and let the sht hit the fan when karma’s ready to come swinging.
Finally, the last thing you’re probably in denial of is your ability to take charge and lead. Pile 3, it seems that you’re the type that struggles to see yourself in a positive light. With how harsh and unemotionally draining your formative years may have been, you’ve been told too many times to suppress and conform that you ended up losing a little bit of yourself after every critique and degrading insult.
I’m here to tell you Pile 3, you have every right to feel what you feel. Don’t run away from it. Don’t deny it. Don’t shove it so far down your subconscious that it becomes a self-depreciating core belief that you’d struggle to heal in the future. Owning your power, accepting your light, harnessing your capability to lead and go forward. These things are way out of your comfort zone. Yet you know that these are things you are absolutely capable of. Let’s call it “Talents in statis”.
For you to awaken such latent abilities, you need to be gentle and compassionate with yourself in this journey. Self-development is a series and cycles of explore, experiment and re-strategize. So, if one approach didn’t sit well with you, there are other ways to improve that would best fit you. Curate your life as you see fit. Don’t just focus on working on the actually work need to be done. Work on improving and mastering your skills. The more you learn how to lead yourself, the more you’ll learn to feel more confident in leading others.
Don’t view mistakes as some irreparable stain in your soul. Mistakes are lessons guised as challenges for the purpose of character development. So, like a child that still learning to walk, feel free to do it messily and clumsily. It is in these attempts would you be able to harness and fully acknowledge your capability to influence and lead with conviction.
(This concludes the end of your reading, Pile 3. You know yourself best, both strengths and weaknesses. So you know what you need and have to do in order for you to learn to acknowledge the things you’ve been in denial about.
If you struggle to figure out how to start, do your research that you feel best addresses your current state of being. As always, take it slow, show compassion towards yourself, and always remember that “It’s only cringe until you make it.”)
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Pile 4: 8 of Swords, Queen of Cups, Fool
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(TW, yet again: This pile mentioned certain terms that might be triggering. So, if you intuitively feel that this is truly your pile, pause now and then. Let yourself just sit and breathe.)
Hi, Pile 4, the first thing you’re in denial about is that you are actually in pain. This pile feels like my self-sacrificing modern-day martyrs, particularly people who are or were in an abusive relationship. Another interpretation is being in denial of your codependency towards people who are doing wrong by you. Could also being in denial of being stuck in some mental cage of scarcity and limiting beliefs.
Damnnn, I need a trigger warning in front of this reading. This is giving “I can fix them” and “They’re not actually that bad until you get to know them”. Another vibe I can feel in this pile is accepting people for their potential. Also, this pile is giving “unappreciated hero martyred at the plaza pyre” vibes. The type that doesn’t realize just how much pain endured in hopes of acquiring the idea of someone. This is giving “limerence turned discarded puppet” vibes.
I’m sorry Pile 4 but the people who harmed you chose to stay for the benefit of their convenience, not out of love. They knew what they were doing to you was wrong. So please stop deluding yourself and remove those rose-colored glasses to see them for who they truly are, the master puppeteer of your demise.
Oh dear, pile 4 I really want to give you a hug! Please be brave and ask for help that you need. Report to the authorities and ask for their protection/assistance. Seek therapy. Talk to a friend. Do anything. Don’t leave yourself in a constant state of confusion because of their prolonged gaslighting had you questioning if you really being treated right or being suck dry of your energy and resources.
If you’re still confused if the amount of pain and trauma you’ve endured is normal, tell it to a trustworthy friend who can hold a safe space for you to speak your truth. Don’t leave out details. And listen to what they have to say after you’ve said your piece. You’ll know just how bad you’ve gone through with the help of their insight.
Another thing you’re in denial about pile 4 is your warm and loving nature. This could cause you to be shocked that this is something you’re in denial about because with everything you’ve gone through, you wonder, how can you still be warm and loving after all the pain you’ve gone through? But that’s the thing of pain, right? It highlights a clue as to what needs to be addressed.
When highlighting a certain issue that needs your attention, it’s expected that you subconsciously disregarded outer aspects of your life. Like, with how much pain you’ve endured, you’d question, how can someone with a broken spirit that lost hope, be considered as warm and loving.
Maybe, prior to the unfortunate series of your life, you were this warm, kind and nurturing person, that won’t hesitate to gave to someone else in need. Maybe the version of you before those pain is the version of you that’s warm and loving.
But I’m telling you right now, Pile 4, if you truly aren’t as warm and loving as you claim to be, then why didn’t inflict the pain you’ve sustain to other people? Why didn’t you pass your pain to someone else? Why do you still wish for a better and happier life? Why do you still have hope? I’ll leave this for you to answer whenever you feel like it.
Bad people wouldn’t feel bad nor wouldn’t contemplate if what they did or said could unintentionally hurt someone else. See? You’re not as bad and hopeless as you perceive yourself as. So, please pile 4, and never forget that once you get yourself out of that unfortunate situation, it’s safe for you to exist. It is safe for you to put yourself first. It is safe for you to try again.
Finally, you are in denial about your sense of wonder and innocence. It might have been because you had experienced quite a bit of betrayal from people who mistook your kindness for weakness in the past. Because of how you were played the Fool for seeing the potential in people, these manipulators used your sympathetic heart against you, making you guarded and distrustful.
You might have hated how you wanted to share your kind and giving heart when you were surrounded by a crowd of traitors. This made you resentful and closed off from the world to the point that you don’t see any reason to want to try socializing again Pile 4.
You are not at any fault for wanting to see life in a better and more positive light, Pile 4. We are living in a time where gaslighting and manipulation are the unfortunate societal norm. So being your authentic wonderful self takes courage and strength in this confusing period in time. As hard as it is to do, please don’t like the toxicity of the world corrupt your heart.
There’s nothing wrong with who you are and who you want to become. Embrace this innocence with open arms as this is actually one of your superpowers.
(This concludes the end of your reading, pile 4. Admitting to yourself that you’ve gone through pain doesn’t make you weak. Believing in the goodness of others doesn’t make you stupid. Treating people with love, compassion and respect is an unfortunate rarity in our modern world.
So let yourself feel what you’ve denied acknowledgment before. Be the safe space you want to exist in. Do take care and don’t feel bad for standing up for yourself.)
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Always remember, this is for entertainment purposes only. If you are going through stuff, seek professional help.
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atsro-slut · 1 month ago
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Could you please do remus x reader with reader during exams absolutely procrastinating to death and getting stressed about it? I could use the motivation for my exams 🫶
A Quiet Break
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Hi bby!! Thank you SO much for the request! I hope it is to your liking <3 This is also a reminder to everyone that my requests are open!
Remus Lupin x female!reader
Exams got Y/N stressed—good thing Remus knows just how to help her hit reset.
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It was a typical evening in the Gryffindor common room, the crackling fire casting warm light over the room full of students bent over textbooks and parchment. The tension was palpable—Exams were fast approaching, and everyone was on edge. But amidst all the frantic studying, there was one student who stood out.
Y/N was slumped over a desk, her eyes fixed on an open textbook that she wasn't actually reading. Instead, she stared at the words, but none of them seemed to make sense. The notes on the page blurred together as her mind raced in a thousand different directions. She had been at it for hours, trying to cram for the upcoming exams, but somehow it never felt like enough.
And the more she thought about it, the more stressed she became, feeling completely overwhelmed.
Her quill hovered over a sheet of parchment that was already covered with random scribbles and doodles, the result of her mind’s inability to focus. She had tried everything—studying in the library, working with friends, even attempting to review in the common room, but nothing seemed to stick. Her stress was mounting, and with each passing second, it felt like she was sinking further into a hole she couldn't climb out of.
"Y/N," a voice broke through her thoughts, soft and comforting.
She turned her head to see her boyfriend, Remus, standing nearby, leaning against the doorframe of the common room. His tired but kind eyes locked onto hers. He had been watching her from across the room for a while, noticing the way she kept fiddling with her quill, tapping it on the desk, her fingers twitching as if they couldn’t find a way to hold still.
"Hey," she said with a forced smile, trying to hide how frazzled she really was. "Sorry, I... I can’t focus. I’ve been trying, but it’s like my brain won’t let me. This isn’t going well."
Remus chuckled softly, walking over and sitting beside her. "Well, you’re not alone. I think every student in this room is feeling the same way. It’s hard to concentrate when you’re so stressed out."
She sighed deeply, resting her forehead on the cool surface of the desk. "I just… I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve tried everything. I feel like I’ve hit a wall, Remus."
He gently placed a hand on her back, rubbing soothing circles, a calming gesture that he knew would help her feel grounded. "I think you need a break."
Y/N blinked up at him, confused. "A break? Remus, I can’t afford a break. If I don’t study now, I’ll fail the exams."
He gave her an understanding smile, brushing a stray lock of hair out of her face. "I understand, but sometimes, when you push yourself too hard, your brain can’t absorb anything. It’s like trying to fill a glass with water when it’s already full. You need to let it settle before you can fit more in."
She hesitated, still unsure. "But I don’t know if I have time for that. I’m already so behind—"
"How about this?" Remus interrupted, leaning in closer so she could feel his steady presence. "Let’s take a break together. We can go for a walk around the grounds, get some fresh air, and then when you come back, I’ll help you with whatever you’re struggling with. It’ll be easier to focus once your mind is clear."
Y/N looked at him, torn between the urge to keep studying and the undeniable pull of his warm, calming presence. She had always felt better whenever he was around, and maybe, just maybe, he was right. She needed a moment to breathe.
"Okay," she said finally, pushing away from the desk and standing up. "But only for a little while."
Remus grinned and stood up, offering her his hand. "Deal. Just enough to clear your head."
They slipped out of the common room and made their way down to the courtyard, where the evening air was cool and crisp. The stars were beginning to appear in the sky, twinkling above the castle. They walked side by side in a comfortable silence, the crunch of leaves underfoot providing a gentle soundtrack to the night.
As they reached a secluded bench, Remus gestured for Y/N to sit first. She did, grateful for the moment of peace. Remus sat next to her, his presence like an anchor in the storm that was her mind.
"Better?" he asked softly, glancing at her with a kind smile.
Y/N nodded, though she didn’t speak immediately. The stillness of the night, the quiet rhythm of their breathing, seemed to calm her more than she’d expected. She realized how tightly wound she had been, and how little she’d allowed herself to breathe in the chaos of the school year.
"I’m sorry," she said after a long pause, her voice small. "I don’t mean to get so stressed out. I know it’s just exams, but I always feel like I’m not doing enough."
Remus looked at her gently, his eyes filled with understanding. "You’re doing more than enough, Y/N. The fact that you care this much about your studies shows how hard you’re trying. But you’re allowed to take care of yourself, too. You can’t pour from an empty cup."
She smiled faintly, leaning her head on his shoulder. "You’re always so good at making me feel better. Thank you."
He chuckled softly, wrapping his arm around her. "It’s the least I can do." He paused, his thumb brushing her hand. "But, you know, I’m not just saying this because I’m your boyfriend. You’re one of the smartest people I know. You’ve got this. Just take it one step at a time."
She closed her eyes, feeling a weight lift from her shoulders as his words sank in. For the first time in a while, she felt like maybe she could do this after all. Maybe she didn’t have to do it perfectly—she just had to keep going.
"Okay," she whispered, a bit more determined now. "I’m ready to get back to it."
Remus smiled at her, his eyes full of pride. "Good. And I’ll be here, every step of the way. We can go over your notes together when you’re ready."
They stood up, hand in hand, and walked back toward the castle, the stress of the evening suddenly feeling a little less daunting. With Remus by her side, Y/N knew she could face whatever came next.
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beybaldes · 1 year ago
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*・゜゚・* high key just procrastinating my essay but…*・゜゚・*
sejanus plinth as your oblivious bestfriend
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- this man is minding his own business too hard, like, doesn’t even take the fact you might like him as more then a friend as an option because he figured if it was, something would’ve happened by now (he’s deathly afraid of rejection)
- literally so happy to spend his entire life doting on you even if it’s just as your best friend
- you will literally walk around the academy holding his hand and press kisses to his cheek or forehead everytime you have to part ways and this man still thinks you’re ‘just friends’
- literally so beyond shocked when Coryo asks if the two of you are together and hits him with ten thousand questions about why he thought that
‘what do you mean, Coryo? Why would you think we’re together?’ Sejanus’s whole face had paled and his sandwich was getting crushed in his hand. What had Coryo seen that he hadn’t? Surely if anyone was going to notice something about you, it would be him, not Coriolanus.
‘they kissed you goodbye, Sejanus.’ Coryo scoffed, eyes rolling at his friends frantic behaviour. ‘And they definitely don’t do that for anyone else.’ Sejanus wanted to ask if Coryo was sure, but he couldn’t get the words out without becoming a stuttering mess. He’d never thought about it that way befriend.
- spends months waiting for you to reach for his hand before he takes initiative and does it for himself the first time, and you totally freak but are super good at hiding it. Sejanus just takes this as he was right you were only being friendly.
- Coryo starts getting more and more sick of it, and finally decided to intervene by concocting a plan that would make even the shyest and sweetest of people (Sejanus) confess
“but I don’t get why.” you stressed, not really understanding coryo’s ‘plan’ that was supposedly going to push you and Sejanus together. it made enough sense but you weren’t sure it would actually help anything, not when you weren’t going to get anywhere when Sejanus only liked you as a friend. “if you want me to kiss you goodbye as well Coryo, you could’ve just asked.”
“it’s not about that, what I’m trying to say-“ Coriolanus didn’t have time to finish his works as he noticed Sejanus coming around the corner and into the corridor the two of you were stood in. “Kiss me, kiss me now, quick.”
more then anything, you wanted to be with Sejanus, and if Coriolanus truly thought this would make that happen, then you were willing to give it a try. Leaning up onto the tips of your toes, you pressed a long kiss to his cheek, making sure Sejanus had seen it before you pulled away. The second your lips left his cheek, he ducked his head and forced a blush to his face, hoping it would make Sejanus jealous enough that he would act on his feelings. However, Sejanus never said a thing, instead giving a pointed glare to Coriolanus and grabbing your hand tightly, pulling you away from the scene of the crime. As you turned to look back at Coryo in confusion, he simply gave you two thumbs up and a wicked grin.
- after Sejanus sees you press a kiss to Coriolanus’s cheek when you’d never done that for anyone else but him, some kind of switch inside of him had flipped
- low-key made him realise he’d never felt like this before and that he definitely saw you as more then just his friend (but had no clue how to go about telling you that)
- so he continued holding your hands and accepting your cheek kisses but now he felt more confident returning them.
“okay, I’ll see you later.” Sejanus had pressed a fleeting kiss to your cheek then turned and left the lunch table without another word, mainly in an effort to hide his flushed face but also incase your reaction was not what he’d predicted.
Coriolanus let out a loud laugh as he looked at the scene before him, your hand ghosting over where he’d just planted a kiss on you and a star struck look in your eyes. “Sejanus just kissed you.”
“Sejanus just kissed me.” You repeated in a far off, airy voice, a bright smile curling on your lips. “Sejanus just kissed me!”
- things only continued to escalate from there
- and since you were now certain he returned your feelings, you knew the only way you’d be able to make him understand was to be completely straight forward with it (because anything otherwise would just go over his head)
- it’s a gloomy, winter, Monday morning when it happens
you march through the doors of the academy, standing tall and proud with the confidence that what you’re about to do is going to give you the one thing you’d only ever dreamed about. it helps that your pretty sure things are going to work out in your favour too.
you walk straight past everyone from you classes, ignoring calls of you name from classmates in search of homework answers and a particularly belligerent Felix Ravenstill, who you’re pretty sure is trying to ask you to be his date for the winter formal. no one mattered right now except Sejanus. But then again, when had they ever? So, you aimed straight for him, not noticing the way Coriolanus seemed to try and ask you something as you approached the two, only taking in Sejanus who turned around to face you with a bright smile and a loving, “Good morning!”
“Good morning.” You replied closing all distance between you as you cradled his face between your hands and brought his lips to yours in a kiss. Sejanus takes a long moment before he begins to reciprocate the kiss, but when he does he drops his note books to the floor in favour of gripping onto your waist and kissing you back harder.
When you finally pull away from him, Sejanus looks totally frazzled - hair mused and lips red, face flushed and a smile so wide that his cheeks hold deeper dimples than usual. “What was that for?” Half the academy is currently staring at the two of you but this time Sejanus doesn’t have the mind to care. “I don’t get-“
“I like you, so, so much.” You tongue darted out across your lips for a fraction of a second but it was enough for Sejanus to find his gaze upon your lips once more. He could lean forward and kiss you once again but he wanted to listen to what you had to say - he figured he’d quite like it. “I want to be yours, if you’ll have me.”
Sejanus doesn’t know the word for it right then and there but it’s love that he feels for you, and that he will feel for you until his very dying breath. “Without a single doubt I am yours.” He answers, leaning in to try and kiss you again, though you pulled away as he moved in trying to meet his eyes. “I already have been for a long time.”
you let him kiss you when he leans in again.
- if Coriolanus had been annoyed by you and Sejanus dancing around eachother, he found himself even more annoyed now that you two were actually together
- somehow more handholding and kisses then before??? and you won’t leave each other alone???
- previously, if you had a class Sejanus didn’t, you’d leave him with a kiss goodbye in the canteen, but now that you were together, Sejanus would spring out of his seat the second he noticed you were grabbing your things, barely saying goodbye to Coryo as he took your hand and offered to walk you to your class
- Coryo was definitely jealous he was third wheeling so much harder then before (though jealous of who, he couldn’t decide) but was glad he didn’t have to deal with the two of you being in denial at least
An: hope you enjoyed!! If even a single person wants me to write Sejanus as your oblivious boyfriend I will <33
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choccy-milky · 18 days ago
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Okay so I read your entire fic in three days and I LOVE IT!? ITS SO GOOD!?! I am supposed to be studying for finals and instead have spent 72 hours definitely not doing that. I originally got into your fic because I saw your drawings from different scenes and OH MY GOD THEYRE AMAZING. The way you draw Seb makes me want to bang my head on the table (in the best way ever)…that boy does things to me. The whole thing is just uGHHH chefs kiss amazing work love it love you amazing
AWW TYY IM GLAD YOU LIKED IT SM (ENOUGH TO BINGE IT AND IGNORE SCHOOL) AND THAT YOU LIKE HOW I DRAW SEB TOO💖💖😍😍😍
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LMAOO but fr as a procrastinator and horrible student myself, im pleased with this theme of interfering with ppls schoolwork/thesis/whatever else to read my fic...im dragging yall down with me...just stop using your brain and enjoy sexy seb aha😜 (ILY TOO GOOD LUCK ON UR FINALS)
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@jstfndmthngs omg thank you for such a long and in depth ask i hope u dont mind i just screenshotted it and cut it into 2 BAHAHA but THANK YOUU im glad youre enjoying it so far!! 🥹💖AND YESSS BAHAHA IVE ALSO BRAINWASHED YOU TO SEE SEB AND CLORA WHEN YOU SEE A BLONDE + BROWN HAIR COUPLE mission accomplished😈😈 and I LOVE THAT YOU DAYDREAM ABOUT SEB AND CLORA TOO!!! people thinking about your fic/art when theyre not actively reading it is the highest honour fr...😭🙏 AND BAHAHA I REMEMBER THAT COMMENT THREAD ABOUT LEANDER AND HIS LITTLE GARDEN PATCH LMAO and him and seb competing as neighbors/dads over who has the better yard...LMAO im putting in my oneshot that leander lives close by, i might try and find a way to allude to that if i can LMAOO speaking of IM GLAD YOURE LOOKING FORWARD TO THE ONESHOT 💖💖 ive been working on the outline every day the past few days and its 24k words AND THATS JUST THE OUTLINE😭😭LIKE DAWG i was planning on this oneshot to just be short and sweet BAHAHA but i forgot im fluent in yappanese...then i just kept thinking of cute pregnancy moments i wanted to add so it spiralled....BUT ANYWAY I HOPE I CAN FINISH IT SOON!!🙏 also im so impressed you only read 1 chap of my fic a day BAHAHA i admire the self restraint bc i could never...but i feel you with wanting to make things last. LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU CATCH UP!!🥳AND TY AGAIN!!💖💖
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omg anon this is diabolical...at first i was imagining it as seb being the one caught in the time loop and going crazy, but i actually think its better if its clora... because the idea of seb watching her slowly spiral into semi-insanity while knowing its bc of some weird time shenanigans and he doesnt know how to help would also make SEB go crazy BAHAHAH. i dont think ill ever write this but i just wanted to tell u i love this idea LOL
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aw TYYYYY!!! i’m honoured u think so omg😭🥹💖 you sent this a while ago (before all of the recent family posting ive been doing) BAHAHA so i hope youre enjoying the kid content bc u manifested it girl🥰 and trust me i aint doing work for the fandom, the fandom is doing work for ME!!! by continuing to humour my brainrotted ass😔🙏
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"they're my legal parents now" followed by "so anyway can you draw them going down on each other" LMFAOOOOO💀💀💀thank you i love you anon. and i HAVE been wanting to draw this for a while so YES!! i just cant guarantee when...but the day SHALL come rest assured🫡😇
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thecherrytarot · 1 year ago
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𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.
what do you need to let go of?
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pile 1 → pile 2 → pile 3
Pick the photo you feel the most drawn to and please remember that this is a general reading so take what resonates!!
listen to: chamber of reflection by Mac DeMarco.
𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟏:
"No use looking out, it's within that brings that lonely feeling. understand that when you leave here, you'll be clear among the better men"
You need to let go of your fear of failure and accept the fact that mistakes are meant to teach you lessons the hard way. You need to let go of your limiting beliefs that were actually set by others for you. I'm getting the message that some of you want to move out of your house because you want to explore and learn more about this world but feel like your potential is being wasted by being stuck in your known surroundings. For some of you, this could be an overly protective parent figure who refuses to let you grow up (I hope this makes sense and doesn't sound too weird) and because of this you are stuck in a dilemma where you feel suffocated by the lack of freedom but at the same time, you doubt if you could achieve your dreams. Going back to the "being stuck in your surroundings" part, some of you might have even pretended to someone else to fit in just so you don't feel lonely and left out but I feel like the majority of you stopped this cause you realized that you were losing your true self to fit in with people who don't really care that much about you, just the person you pretended to be.
You need to let go of your habit of procrastination because you are afraid of the result. You are not only afraid of failing but also afraid of succeding and dealing with new, unknown experiences. You may feel like you are trapped in a situation which is beyond your control but deep down within you, you do know that you have the freedom to do what you want to do you just don't want to take the effort for it. You are holding yourself back from being the best version of yourself. Set boundaries and stand up for yourself assertively instead of stalling confrontations against the 'higher authority" who tells you that you can't do it.
𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟐:
"Spend some time away, getting ready for the day you're born again. spend some time alone, understand that soon you'll run with better men"
You need to let go of your habit of neglecting yourself for the sake of helping others, to please them so that they do not feel disappointed in you. You need to protect yourself and take care of yourself first and then think about others. Many of you might be the eldest (or have to act like the eldest) children who have a lot of responsibilities and do not have enough time to focus on yourself. I heard someone defending themselves by saying "But I do skin care" this is more than that. many of you could also put all your focus on how you look but neglect other areas such as your diet, mental and physical health etc. Regardless of what it is, the message is to prioritise yourself and give others the space and the freedom to grow on their own.
You need to let go of your habit of building up walls that separate you from the actual reality. You may have felt like you were born and raised in hell and now your feelings and emotions have altered your viewpoint of the world that you see. You may feel like numbing your emotions and desires you are keeping yourself safe. Many of you could use this as a defence mechanism because you were hurt in your past and are now afraid of the present uncertainties. You may feel like "if I don't bring in any change, I'll be safe" but the universe is telling you to bring in the change that a tiny part of you wants. It is asking you to stop denying and avoid changes because you are afraid that it might break the facade of your strength. Let go of the things that no longer benefit you.
𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟑:
"alone again"
(it was so difficult for me to get the messages cause the energy felt all over the place but the first message came out strong even though I feel like it is only for a certain number. i know the song is something else but I kept hearing Swing Lynn by Harmless so take however that resonates.)
You need to let go of your obsession with love/ future spouse readings. Sometimes you do not need to know every single detail about your future to feel a sense of control over the situation, confirmation of the future that you obsessively desire or whatever the reason is. There is no harm in reading them but there should be a limit, there are times when we are not meant to know something until it has happened and the best way to manifest something is the law of detachment.
You need to let go of your habit of struggling to say "no" even in situations you do not feel comfortable (like there are two cards indicating this) You need to assert your boundaries, needs and wants with confidence. You need to be honest with yourself and focus on prioritising your actual needs. Bringing discipline and action into your life will help you achieve your manifestation a lot faster than just simply waiting for it to arrive at your doorstep. This will help you bring the balance that you have always wanted. The other side of this is, that you need to let go of your fear of consequences, you may (sometimes unintentionally) give the 'decision-making' responsibilities to someone else so that if and when things go wrong you can blame someone else instead of yourself. It is important for you to take responsibility for your own actions and use them as opportunities to grow instead of feeling stuck in your self doubt.
You need to let go of numbing yourself from the discomfort and confront it. The wisdom, freedom and power that you search in others is already in you, just have to trust yourself and listen to it and give yourself an opportunity to grow. Reflect on your shadow self and learn to face your fears.
Please give feedback <3
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paperstorm · 6 months ago
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Thanks for the tags @honeybee-taskforce and @whatsintheboxmh!
I have too many wips right now I keep bouncing back and forth and not giving any of them the actual focus they deserve but here's some sexual dysfunction from the 3x11 missing moment.
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Carlos blinks up at the ceiling. His eyes sting.
“Babe?” TK asks, voice suddenly tentative as he picks up on the shift in energy that hangs in the room like a storm cloud over them.
“Gotta pee,” Carlos says, pushing the damp sheet away and getting up. He feels somehow more naked than usual as he walks around the edge of the bed and feels TK’s eyes on him, shutting himself in the bathroom and avoiding his own reflection in the mirror.
It wasn’t a lie, he’s surprised he lasted this long already, and he keeps his eyes closed and tries to breathe as he solves that problem. He rinses his hands with a near-painful churning in his gut, and wonders how long he can hide in the bathroom until TK figures out he’s doing more than using the toilet. Carlos splashes water onto his face and rubs wet hands over his hair, trying in vain to tame some of the wilder curls that sprung out at odd angles while he slept.
When he’s procrastinated as much as he can, he slides the door slowly open, and shouldn’t be as surprised as he is to see TK waiting patiently just on the other side of it. He’s halfway dressed – in boxers and a t-shirt – and Carlos tries not to let his anxious imagination derive more meaning from TK covering himself than TK intended. He tries, but it doesn’t work.
“Hey,” TK says softly, with a small, empathetic smile, like he already knows. He knows Carlos’s disgrace, can scan him like an X-ray machine.
“I’m sorry,” Carlos mumbles, unable to look TK in the eye as he burns in shame. “Are you okay?”
“What?” TK asks, head tilting in confusion that takes Carlos by surprise. He’d assumed he was made of cellophane and that TK could see right through him. “What are you sorry for?”
Carlos just shakes his head. TK steps in closer to him, backing him up against the sink. He grips TK’s hips in his hands but feels like even that comfort, he shouldn’t be allowed. He hasn’t earned it, and he’s stolen enough from TK already this morning. He’s supposed to protect this man, love him and take care of him, and instead …
“Carlos,” TK insists.
Sniffing and wishing he could draw his limbs into a hard outer shell like a turtle so he could hide from the world, Carlos admits, “I feel like … I used you.”
TK doesn’t respond for a moment. Carlos keeps his eyes laser focused on a spot on TK’s sternum where his delicate smattering of chest hair is soft and wispy. Eventually, TK asks, “Used what? What are you talking about?”
Carlos closes his eyes.
“Hey.”
“You’re gonna be sore later, and it’s my fault.” And it didn’t help, either. That part, Carlos is too ashamed of to even say aloud. He tore into TK hoping somewhere in the back of his mind that it might release some of the lingering tension and anger and heartache that’s swirling inside of him, but it’s all still there. In the end it was nothing but selfishness, and it didn’t make him feel any better.
“No,” TK says, his tone suddenly sharp. “No, you’re not allowed to think that. Take it back.”
“TK.”
“I mean it!” he snaps, jostling Carlos with his grip on Carlos’s cheeks. “I know you’re upset, I’m so sorry you’re upset, but I won’t let you do that. You didn’t hurt me, you didn’t do anything I didn’t want, you wouldn’t do anything I didn’t want. We both know that. I trust you, you’re not allowed to decide that I shouldn’t. I won’t let you do that to us.”
Carlos just mumbles his name again, wanting so badly to believe him but not sure he deserves this absolution.
“Take it back,” TK demands again, fierce and adamant. “I’m fine. More than fine, I feel great. We both like it rough sometimes, I know you know that.”
“It’s not the same,” Carlos mutters.
“The same as what?” TK questions, and when Carlos doesn’t answer, he says, “The only thing that’s wrong with me right now is that the man I love is hurting.”
His forehead bumps into Carlos’s when Carlos can’t bring himself to look at him. His thumbs stroke slowly along Carlos’s cheeks, and Carlos wants to melt into his soothing embrace exactly as much as he wants to push TK away from him and reject the comfort and forgiveness he’s so graciously offering.
Tagging @theghostofashton @birdclowns @reyesstrand @strandnreyes @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut
@carlos-in-glasses @actual-sleeping-beauty @thisbuildinghasfeelings @herefortarlos @heartstringduet
@tailoredshirt @goodways @alrightbuckaroo @lightningboltreader @freneticfloetry
@im-overstimulated-and-im-sad @liminalmemories21 @nancys-braids @chaotictarlos @lemonlyman-dotcom
@inkweedandlizards @bonheur-cafe @reasonandfaithinharmony @thebumblecee @never-blooms
@sanjuwrites @orchidscript @jesuisici33 @kiwichaeng @fallout-mars
@fifthrideroftheapocalypse @fitzherbertssmolder @safeashousespdf @just-inside-her @firstprince-history-huh
@captain-gillian @tellmegoodbye @anactualcaseofthetruth @ironheartwriter
Want to be added or removed from the list? Lmk
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flowery-language · 1 year ago
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𓆩♡𓆪 STAY AWAY. Loser! Ellie Williams headcanons
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a/n : I am struggling to start writing and stop procrastinating on writing the series I am working on so have some quick Ellie head canons while you wait also loser!Ellie is just regular Ellie and y’all aren’t ready for that conversation also it isn’t much sorry I’ve been struggling with procrastinating on writing got to put something out for the mean time
Inspired by seriously go read theirs @cowgirlcherrie and my one of my close friends mannerisms
Warnings/content: 18+ mentions of sex mostly fluff and also Ellie is a loser and cursing fingering!receiving masturbating and mentions of face riding
ੈ✩‧₊˚ you met loser!Ellie in Highschool and you bonded your intense overwhelming hatred for the people at your school over how much you hated everyone else here and that your the only person she could tolerate
“Everyone here are fucking npc’s with no capacity for thinking for themselves”
ੈ✩‧₊˚ Loser!Ellie definitely owns a women love me fish fear me shirt that she started wearing ironically until it wasn’t anymore
ੈ✩‧₊˚ she always had to make jokes about her nonexistent dick much to your annoyance she has the humor of twelve year old boy
“How about you suck 15 inch cock”
“You don’t have one” you exclaimed
“Fuck you mean women literally beg me to see it”
ੈ✩‧₊˚ loser!Ellie unironically loves family guy and American guy and and fucking loves Rick and Morty and Bojack horseman
“I know I am a lesbian but I would fuck rick Sanchez no questions asked”
ੈ✩‧₊˚ you and loser!Ellie bonded over your intense overwhelming hatred for chase Atlantic
“They sound like they are fucking singing in cursive”
“I know right thank you someone gets it”
ੈ✩‧₊˚ loser!ellie has the music taste of someone’s father and she is very unapologetic about it she listens to Radiohead, nirvana, slipknot, the cure and the Beatles. etc
“ you should listen to the cure”
ੈ✩‧₊˚ loser!Ellie got into an argument once with you because you said you liked Saturn more than Jupiter
“Jupiter or Saturn pick one”
“Uh—Saturn”
“Jupiter is fucking better”
“No it’s not I like Saturn better”
“You only like Saturn because it’s fucking pretty”
“No I don’t”
“Yes you fucking do”
“Whatever”
ੈ✩‧₊˚ loser!Ellie cannot flirt with women for shit she just infodumps to them and hopes her info would get them to like her and wanna be with her and she is lucky that she is attractive enough to pull it off
ੈ✩‧₊˚ when loser!Ellie started to develop a crush on you she would do favours and constantly try to impress you she once took you to skater park to show you the tricks she was learning she ended up falling flat on her face because she was too busy staring into your eyes and she had the biggest blush on her face when you laughed at her for it.
ੈ✩‧₊˚ By the time Loser!Ellie developed feelings for you she would go above and beyond because suddenly the concept of helping others was completely uninteresting until it was you you got your heart shattered by another girl and all she could think of is that she would never treat you that way ever.
“It’s just that I wished that she didn’t string me along for a month and actually rejected me instead of telling me she liked me back when she didn’t”
“I swear when I see that fucker in my line of vision it won’t be pretty you deserve better than her anyway you were out of her league”
“Honestly I am starting to think maybe it’s because I am not attractive enough for girls to want me”
“Don’t fucking say that you were out of her league you will find someone who treats you so good ”
ੈ✩‧₊˚ loser!Ellie always wants you to try smoking weed with her even though you very much didn’t like taking drugs or being high it’s mostly because you make her so nervous and if she was high with you she could maybe try to flirt with you without fumbling her words and not looking you in the eye.
“Come on try it for me it feels really good I promise”
“Yeah no thanks Ellie”
ੈ✩‧₊˚ she knew that she couldn’t keep this to herself anymore she wanted you and Every time you tried to date someone else it made her genuinely sick to her stomach.
“ oh fuck saying this shit isn’t easy but I gotta say it I like you okay I really really do”
“Your fucking with me right now if your joking Ellie it’s not funny”
“I am not joking I fucking do okay”
“Wait your not”
“Of course I am not”
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ NSFW section
ੈ✩‧₊˚ you are always the first person she thinks of when she gets high late at night she has to resist the urge to call you over her hand in her boxers.
ੈ✩‧₊˚ Loser!Ellie has a happy trail.
ੈ✩‧₊˚ she loves it when you ride her face and not just hovering she wants you to sit on it at first you were really nervous and insecure but she was a having the time of her life and Everytime you do hover she would beg you sit properly
“Babe please just sit stop fucking hovering”
ੈ✩‧₊˚she loves it when you ride her thighs she loves the sensory experience of you riding it and when you ride her fingers she always wishes to be inside you and feel it when you ride it
ੈ✩‧₊˚ she is obsessed with you wearing her clothes especially her boxers she loves giving them to you
“You’re gonna run out of boxers to wear if you keep this up”
“I don’t fucking care”
ੈ✩‧₊˚ she loves you to death and will not hesitate to show it off she always loves mentioning you much to literally everyone’s annoyance.
“My girl is getting a PHD is so smart”
“This reminds me my girlfriend really loves these flowers I gotta get them”
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senkusphone · 3 months ago
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I may not be in this picture posted by @ DisAnimeBeetch on twitter but the Dragos are my own hand crafted ones, commissioned by them back in June or so, and sent across the world.
(Procrastination hits hard and I can't access the actual post anymore, it might have been deleted) It's really nice to see my work go so far and be enjoyed by people I haven't even met As I posted long ago, these dragos are unique pieces made with a hand carved wood block I made a few years back
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Here's a few of them; though they ordered 45 I ended up sending 50 including misprints and some extras to make up for a bunch of them being the wrong color (blue instead of red as I ran out of ink).
As the new ink mixed with the previous one it produced a whole range of purplish and grey colors which I think was pretty cool
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Went all out with the packaging too, check out my pinned post if you want to see how to make that Kingdom of Science stencil
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Incidentally, just after I dropped off the package at the post office, I turned around the corner half a block down the street and happened upon a little stand on the sidewalk with a fella selling miscellaneous items including this
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For a while I had been hoping to eventually meet a dcst fan willing to sell me something in exchange for dragos. This wasn't quite it, but I'd say it's close enough for the time being, as part of the commission money went to this (pretty much exactly 600 dragos if you are wondering, considering part over total) And I know it's a counterfeit, but it was pretty cheap. She can stand on the shelf holding a tiny vacuum tube in place of her missing knife.
I'll make my own Kohaku eventually, just like Suika (haven't been procrastinating on it since 2021, I assure you)
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(Not to scale)
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lets-try-some-writing · 2 months ago
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Help, I am getting stuck in this cycles over and over without actually finish any story that I want to write.
I get ideas or AU that make me interested to write -> realising that i need to lay down some setting or background to make story worked, so I started plotting -> executive dysfunction/ procrastination kicking in because I have trouble of putting ideas in my head into paper and due ‘perfectionism complex’ I get boggled by detail -> I stared at empty document for several day -> I lost interest and motivation in writing for several day/week -> cycle started over again.
I can’t exactly force myself to write because it will extend the period of “I stared at an empty document for several day -> I lost interest and motivation in writing for several day/week” to months. Any suggestion how to deal with this cycle?
I do actually have some suggestions! I have several, in fact.
One: If you are suffering from creative burnout after being overwhelmed, try just giving it a break. I know this is the simplest option, but seriously, step back and engage with some new media for a few minutes. You may get ideas, or at any rate, your mind will have the chance to unwind for a bit. And do know, that sometimes some things do just have to cook. I've left fics for months at a time and come back with a banger chapter after letting it be and getting my mind sorted out for a while first. If you really love it, you'll be back eventually.
Two: Play into that need to make it right by hyperfixating on ONE aspect of the thing you are working on. It may sound counter productive, but I've found that by bunkering down with one specific detail or plot piece or even bits of the lore, it can actually help spiral out into other subjects that need to be addressed. Like, while working on lore for an au, it can get really overwhelming to think about ALL of the world. So instead, I'll pick one character, one time period, one plot point. Then, I'll expand on that one thing until it starts to tie in with other points. From there, I'll just move from point to point, connecting the pieces of the web. Here's an example:
Premise > supporting premise > supporting premise > tie in lore.
Starscream is Winglord of Vos > He was forced into the position and separated from his brothers > He is a brilliant leader but bitter because of his role > He joined up with Megatron after Vos burned in a need for revenge.
Once you hit the tie in lore, you can swap focus to begin working on the other character or subject. This will help you tie everything together in a cohesive manner (at least it helps me). Being able to make everything connect up may fight that feeling of being overwhelmed.
Three: Talk to someone about it. I cannot stress enough how brilliant some of my friends have been in helping me refine a concept. Find a willing victim Friend, and tell them about your concept. Let them give you feedback and ideas. The more fun you both have, the better. More thoughts and ideas will give you more to play with. And if nothing else, even if you don't continue with the idea, you won't feel quite as defeated because you got to talk about it.
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sparrow-in-the-field · 8 months ago
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I haven't shared any random Bobby/Don ideas lately and I'm procrastinating working at my job rn I have several for "Don away at/immediately after the war" that I'm not convinced I'll ever write into a full fic because I have a weak heart (cries, do not separate them!).
I figured I might as well share them here, since otherwise they may never see the light of day (that being said, maybe if y'all like them enough, I can be convinced 👀).
Anyway here we go, my Bobby/Don war times head cannons:
Before Don leaves, Bobby gives him a ring to wear. He had his father make a pair, with "Moch" and "Hume" engraved on the inside. Bobby keeps the Hume one and gives Don the Moch one. He asks Don to wear it on his ring finger and claim to be married while he's away.
They write letters to each other obviously, and Bobby always just signs his as "B.", so the content can still be lovey/candid and Don can claim the letters are from a girl with a B name if needed.
Because I am weak of the heart, even in my head cannons, I imagine Don doesn't really see much of the actual war front because his engineering skills are what is put to use (I think that was a thing irl?). He has mixed feelings about this, some guilt, some frustration that he's essentially just doing his same job but forced to do it far away from home/Bobby. Bobby is grateful that Don isn't facing any danger, even if he realizes it's selfish.
Similarly, Don very selfishly is glad that Bobby couldn't join the army because of his health issues.
Bobby relies on friends a lot for support while Don is away. Joyce of course, because it's me, but also some of the other guys who couldn't enlist. They all know about Bobby and Don's relationship at this point.
I have an idea that is pretty much the closest to an actual fic plot of Don figuring out that another guy in his unit is gay and they befriend each other. It would include letters between Don and Bobby of them talking about it discretely.
Now, when Don returns when the war is over, nsfw but I imagine the two of them just fucking ravish each other. Like Bobby at one point is like "you better not expect to leave this house, this bed, for at least 3 days."
Related to above but the bullet was getting to long: They keep swapping between really hot/horny "meaningless" sex and super emotional lovemaking. They figure out early on that they have to decide/tell each other which it's gonna be so they're both on the same page lol.
After the war they still wear the rings :') maybe they have to switch them to the middle finger or right hand instead, since they live together and clearly not with wives, but still, they know what the rings mean.
I think that's it! Sorry for any heartache if you're like me and thinking about it for too long makes your heart hurt 🙏 knowing me, even if I ever wrote it I'd somehow manage to turn it into fluff lol.
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flameraven · 3 months ago
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The Dragon Prince - Progress Shots
Thought it would be fun to show how this picture came together (since it was a little bit of a struggle)
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Started out doing some rough concept art and thumbnail sketches to figure out the layout. At first I was planning for a more European-style dragon until I was inspired to do something more BOTW-style.
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I took the thumbnail I liked best and enlarged it, and then started working on getting the basic shapes roughed in. This was actually my second attempt, I had first tried to use a reference photo of a totally different type of rocks and it just wasn't working so I scrapped it entirely. You can also see Crowley's tail changed from the original thumbnail to make the composition flow better. I had also planned him to have antlers and a fluffy mane like the BOTW dragons but it made the silhouette too hard to read so that got scrapped too.
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Roughing in colors and light sources as well as further refining the shapes of the rocks. The most important thing here was composition rather than realism. Colors were based off reference photos of the Grand Canyon at sunset. Geologically I don't think they're the same kind of rocks but the vibes were close enough.
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I made several attempts at refining the clouds and could not get them to work so I gave up and drew a more detailed sketch + inks for Crowley and Aziraphale instead.
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The rocks were giving me even more trouble than the clouds so besides adding in some more lighting I procrastinated on them and did the sky instead as well as roughed in shading for Crowley. X)
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Starting in on rendering Crowley while I still tried to figure out wtf to do with the rocks, haha. I really put them off until the last minute. Eventually I basically took a large textured brush, did a neutral grey layer over the whole rock area, and then set it to Multiply. That really helped in giving the rocks texture without having to render all the details. I dug out more rock reference images and started laying in little lines for cracks based on those. Also putting more shadows under Crowley that I forgot before.
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Final art! The last big step was in changing the rocks to the top right - the planes of light and shadow didn't make sense so I consolidated them to be less distracting. Still wasn't totally satisfied with the clouds, but I was running out of time and also thought my tablet had died, so I decided it was GOOD ENOUGH and that's all that matters.
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