#it’s not about CONTROL. it’s about AGENCY.

[avelera]

Thinking about how one of Mel's flaws as a character, as I see it, is that she's fixated on being the power behind the throne, rather than the power itself, despite already having all the ability she needs to be an effective and incisive ruler.

We first see this characteristic of Mel's when she's a child, picturing the sort of hand-picked regent she would select to be her family's puppet.

But Ambessa points out even back then that there's no reason Mel couldn't rule directly. This I imagine is part of the whole fox vs. wolf theme that is a source of tension between them.

In Mel's defense, there's plenty of good reasons to be the power behind the throne. It gives you a lot more deniability and an easy escape-hatch if something goes wrong. You can always throw the puppet to the wolves and start fresh. But it demonstrates a lack of commitment to always be hedging like that and it also lose you a certain amount of direct control. After all, the puppet can always grow teeth.

I think about this in relation to Jayce's Man of Progress image and how he needed to be the face of Hextech (and eventually a Councilor). Because why did he need to be the face of Hextech? Why couldn't Mel do it?

Mel was one of their first believers. She enabled their creation on the night of its inception. Why couldn't she be a partner in Hextech from the beginning, handling the public-facing side from the start? Or taken over from Jayce once it went from prototype to proven quantity?

I'd argue that if she had, a lot of the tragedies that befall Mel later would have been averted.

First of all, it's not as if there's an air-gap between the State and Hextech. There'd be no appearance of impropriety if Mel championed Hextech from the point where the Hexgates open. The Hexgates and Piltover had become synonymous by that point, there's no reason she couldn't continue to advocate and get funding for Hextech even as a Councilor. She had a skill for it, and the knowledge, and connections.

She could have allowed Jayce to remain in the lab, working on new innovations, occasionally coming out to offer the more scientific explanations as needed. But she didn't, why? (Doylist, obviously because we wouldn't have a story, etc. etc.)

I would argue it's part of the flaw or challenge she's facing in the story: she always wants to be the power behind the throne. So she helps elevate Jayce and supports his public persona. This persists until she sees an opportunity for an even bigger play by making Jayce a Councilor. Again, she sees a bright, charismatic, well-intentioned and easily-moldable person that she can work through to enact her own goals in Piltover and, because she is actually a good person, theirs too. She's not entirely self-serving and that's where she's different from Ambessa.

But this is where the problem of setting up a puppet sets in. Because Jayce has agency and he grows teeth and he pushes back on things Mel wouldn't want and does things she wouldn't advise with her superior political experience. Had she been the one in power instead of the power behind the throne, she could have avoided this, she could have molded the situation more specifically to her preferences, based on her superior knowledge. Jayce didn't want to be out in front of the crowd. He wanted to stay in the lab. Mel being the public face would have worked just fine for about 90% of the public appearances a representative of Hextech would need to make to the world. (I say this as someone who works as a public face in tech and has been a startup founder myself, such a role for Mel totally exists and often goes to someone who is a bigger name when the founders themselves are not charismatic or would simply prefer not to do all the wheeling and dealing.)

And this flaw loses her the relationship she could have had with Jayce, I'd argue. If she'd more directly worked alongside Jayce and Viktor, and taken over being the public face, she wouldn't have needed to manipulate Jayce or raise him to the Council, which were the dealbreakers that made him break up with her later.

Of course, they may not have had any reason to date in such a world but then, maybe they would have anyway as partners, now with a stronger foundation beneath them of working together, with both Jayce and Viktor relieved that the public, political side is being handled by a pro with a ton of resources (not that there wouldn't have been tension at all but certainly, this is a world in which I could see some flavor of MelJayVik happening harmoniously).

There's a Silicon Valley AU buried in all of this, free to a good home, but a world where Mel came on as a full partner early on would certainly be fascinating.

[hisuiya]

✧˚ · . sweet tooth ⋆˚࿔

CHAPTER 1: the first encounter ✧.*

pairing. katsuki bakugou x fem!reader

synopsis. working part-time at the local bakery was supposed to be simple: balancing high-school, late night-shifts, and keeping it all under control. but everything changes when UA student katsuki bakugou walks through the door and saves you from a villain. afterwards, he starts showing up regularly. despite being from two different worlds, you can't help but grow closer, one warm pastry at a time.

content warnings. cussing, violence.

word count. 2.1k

click here to see the masterlist!

THE SHRILL BLARE OF THE ALARM CLOCK CUT THROUGH THE QUIET OF THE MORNING, DRAGGING Y/N OUT OF HER PEACEFUL SLEEP. She groaned softly, her hand fumbling across the bedside table until she silenced the noise. Sunlight filtered through her curtains, casting a soft light on her entire room. With a heavy sigh, she sat up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Another ordinary day.

Y/N led a relatively normal life in Musutafu, Japan--the heart of Japan's top hero agencies and home to the prestigious UA academy. She had grown up idolizing pro heroes for their courage and unyielding sense of justice. Like many others, she dreamed of joining their ranks one day. But her quirk lacked the flashy appeal or raw power required to pursue such a path.

Her quirk is called Serenity. When activated, she is able to emit a calming aura that soothes individuals near her. Nothing flashy or special, so at a young age, she gave up that dream of becoming a hero. Instead, she focused on living a quiet life--studying, working at the bakery, and helping her father.

After her usual morning routine, Y/N padded softly into the kitchen of the modest apartment that she shared with her father. The space was small but homey, filled with mismatched furniture, potted plants, and faint traces of her late mother's influence in the some of the decor.

Her father, a kind and gentle man who worked long hours as a trucker to make due, was still asleep in his room. She made sure to keep the TV volume low as she flipped it on for some background noise.

"...shocking news as UA High School recovers from an attack on their facility known as the USJ," the reporter announced. "A group of some attackers calling themselves the League of Villains attempted to ambush students and faculty during a training session..."

Y/N frowned as she listened to the news, her hands opening the fridge door. "UA students were attacked...?" she murmured to herself. "That's so scary."

The teenage girl returned her focus to making breakfast--something she does every morning for her and her father. As she scanned the contents of the fridge, she decided that pancakes seemed like the perfect dish to make. Cooking and baking had always brought her a sense of peace, a passion passed down from her mother.

When the pancakes were done, she plated them neatly, and sat down at the counter to eat her food. Once finished, she directed her attention to her father's still food. An idea popped into her head, one in which she went in search for a piece of paper and pen. When acquired, she leaned over the countertop and found herself scribbling a sweet note to her dad on there. Something small to brighten up his day.

Finally, she completed it with a stick-figure drawing of the two. The girl capped the pan and stood back, admiring her work. She looked up, a smile plastered on her face, and her eyes flickered to the clock.

"Oh no, I'm going to be late!"

Y/N's steps fell into a familiar rhythm as she walked to her usual seat by the window in the back of the class. She wasn't particularly the loudest, but she made sure to greet her classmates with a smile and soft hellos. She slid into her seat and prepared for class to start. The day passed by in a blur of lectures and notes, the monotony broken only by her friends lively chattering during lunch.

"Did you hear about the attack on UA's USJ?" one of them asked, leaning forward with wide eyes. "Apparently it was a group of villains! Like, actual villains!"

"I did! I heard that just a few were injured, but still, UA should really improve their security," another chimed in, shaking her head.

"All the students were first-years like us, too! Can you imagine being in the middle of that?" The first friend pressed, looking at Y/N.

Y/N hesitated, sipping her strawberry milk. "…I'm just glad everyone made it out okay."

She tuned into the conversation every now and then. UA and its students felt like a world away from their guys' mundane lives, even if they were technically their neighbors. The school was just a couple miles away. She didn't envy the UA students--she preferred her quiet life, even if it wasn't as exciting.

"I bet you would've pissed your pants!" one of her friends said, directed towards the other one.

"Hey! No I wouldn't have!"

When the final bell rang, Y/N swiftly gathered her things and waved goodbye to her friends. Her next destination was the bakery, her favorite part of the day.

The walk was pretty calm, but the bakery was even calmer. It was a cozy, unassuming place tucked away on the edge of the hill. Its walls were painted a soft cream color, and the smell of fresh bread and sugar greeted Y/N as she stepped inside.

"Hey, you're here!" Aiko, one of her coworkers, called from behind the counter. She was already tying up a box of pastries for a customer.

"Of course," Y/N replied with a soft smile, tying on her apron and pinning her long hair into a messy bun behind her head. After putting away her school bag in the back, she joined Aiko at the counter. "I'm nothing if not punctual."

Aiko turned towards the younger girl. "You're so hard-working, you know that right? I have no clue how you balance everything." She glances at her watch. "Speaking of hard-work, it's time for me to clock out. I've got class."

Y/N chuckled, her cheeks flushing at the college student's praise. "I just do what I can."

Aiko squeezed the younger girl's shoulder as she walked past her. "You got it from here!" She said, getting her bag and making her way out with a wave.

The shift started slow, with a few regulars popping in for their usual orders. Y/N kept busy tending to the customers and restocking shelves, baking pastries and doing homework when she got the chance, her movements graceful and practiced.

Around five o'clock is when the post-school rush began. Students from nearby schools crowd in, laughing and chatting as they placed their orders. Tired adults shuffled through for a quick pick-me-up.

Just as the chaos began to die down, the bell above the door jingled again. Y/N turned to see a man enter, his broad frame covered in tattoos and his face set in a deep scowl. His sharp eyes darted around the bakery, landing briefly on Y/N before he started towards the counter. Although not much crime occurred in this specific area as it was so close to an academy filled with heroes, sometimes Y/N would witness villains and their violent behaviors when walking on the streets. It was uncommon, but not rare.

"Good afternoon, sir," Y/N greeted softly, offering her usual shy smile despite the unease curling in her chest. "What can I help you with?"

The guy pointed at a few items on the shelves, which she carefully boxed and bagged.

"Would that be all for you?" She asks, the bag in hand.

He grunts. "Yeah, just hurry it up," the man says, crossing his arms over his chest. It is then than the girl noticed his sharp teeth and nails. It must be his quirk.

She places the bag on the counter. "That'll be 400 yen."

Instead of paying, the man leaned forward, his expression darkening. "Actually, how about you just hand it over for free?"

Y/N stammered. "I'm sorry sir," she said quietly, "We don't--"

"Don't waste my time," the man growled, his tone dropping to a dangerous low. His arms unfolded, and he activated his quirk, making his claws grow larger. "Unless you want trouble, you'll hand over the money in the register too."

The younger girl's heart pounded in her chest as fear took hold. But she didn't let the situation panic her. Instead, her calm nature and quick thinking led her to activate her quirk. Her eyes shone a soft shade of blue as her serene abilities radiated outwards towards the villain.

"Are you playing games with me?" The guy angrily says, stumbling as he begins to step forward.

Before she could respond, the doorbell jingled again. Her breath hitched when she saw the figure stepping inside.

A boy, roughly her age, entered, his spiky blond hair catching the evening light. His hands were tucked in the pockets of his uniform, which Y/N instantly recognized as UA High School's. His voice, loud and dripping with arrogance cut through the tense air. "What's with all the yelling? Can't a guy grab a snack without hearing some loser whining?"

The man froze, his eyes narrowing as he got a good look at the blond haired student. Recognition flickered across his face, followed by a sneer. "Well look who it is. You're that brat, aren't you? The one who got attacked by that sludge guy?"

A look of annoyance and anger made its way across the blond's face. "Shut the hell up before I murder you!" The blond snapped, his voice cutting through the bakery, which by now was empty, besides the three of them--everyone else had fled in fear.

Y/N's eyes darted between the two, confusion and tension mounting. She had no idea what the man was talking about, but the boy's sharp eyes narrowed dangerously. Even though he wore the uniform from UA, Y/N got fearful that he, too, was a villain in disguise, based on his attitude.

"Don't get cocky, kid," the villain said, as he cracked his knuckles. He noticed the uniform. "You might go to a hero school, but you're just a kid with a big mouth."

The cocky young boy scoffed, his hand crackling with small explosions. "You think you're better than me? I'll fucking show you!"

Before the man could react, the blond launched forward, an explosion erupting from his palm towards the villain'. Y/N gasped, ducking behind the counter as the man stumbled back, clutching at his stomach.

"You little--!" The villain snarled, with a cough. He lunged towards the UA student with his claws outspread. But the younger boy was faster.

Another blast sent the man crashing into the display case of pastries, scattering crumbs and frosting everywhere. Y/N shielded her face from the blow. The villain groaned, struggling to stand, but the blond grabbed him by the collar and yanked him up, a fierce look painted across his face.

"Get lost, scumbag. Unless you want me to finish this." The crimson-eyed boy barked, sparks forming in his free hand.

The man glared at him, but the sound of distant sirens made him hesitate. One of the customers must've called the police. With a final grunt, he yanked himself free and bolted out the door.

Y/N emerged cautiously, surveying the damage with wide eyes. "What just happened?" She managed out, still in some shock at what she just witnessed.

"Tch. What a waste of time." The boy mumbled to himself, brushing the crumbs off of his uniform. He turned to her, his eyes flickering to her name tag. Y/N. "Hey. You work here?" He grumbled.

"Y-yeah, I do." she stammered.

"Give me a strawberry tart."

Despite the chaos that just ensued, he was asking for a pastry, and she couldn't help but smile or refuse the guy who saved her, even though he made a huge mess in doing so. "Sure," she chuckled. "It's on the house."

"Whatever," he said, looking around, taking in the state of the bakery. "Clean this place up before your boss yells at you or something."

"Yeah, I will." She sighed as she worked on his tart. "Looks like I got my work cut out for me."

The spiky-haired boy stood silently, his foot tapping impatiently. He glanced around the bakery, looking at all the decorations. He finally turned towards the girl and watched as she prepared the tart. He couldn't help but stare at the way her hair had been perfectly messed up, the blue of her eyes, and the flour and frosting that dusted her cheeks.

"Okay. Here you go." Y/N said, handing the pastry to him.

He grabbed the boxed tart from her hands, their fingers briefly brushing. She looked up at him, a shy smile on her face. He scoffed and turned around, heading towards the door.

"Wait," Y/N said, "What's your name?"

He paused by the door. "Bakugou."

She softly smiled. "Thanks, Bakugo."

He scoffed and left, the box in hand.

Y/N exhaled deeply, looking around at the wreckage as the fiery boy left the bakery. Little did she know, her mundane life was about to get so much more interesting.

author’s notes. thank u for reading <33 first chapter! i'm so excited!! this is my first time writing anything on this platform, so please feel free to leave constructive criticism. any support is appreciated!

TAGS. @yurikosinterlude @ivydoesit23 @witch-craft-works @kalulakunundrum

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hisuiya © 2024. please do not copy, plagarize, translate, or repost my works.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Squeaky Clean 3

Warnings: non/dubcon and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: Steve Rogers

Summary: You start work as a maid but you’re not prepared for the mess your client brings with him. (maid AU – plus!reader)

Note: yeah…

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

Your work is cursory. There’s really no need for you to be there Monday to Friday but you won’t complain for the pay check. Or the repetition. You prefer habit over spontaneity. When you took on the job, your biggest concern was the unpredictability. 

That day, the house is empty as you work. You’re relieved. It’s easier to just do you sweep through, mop a bit where needed, dust surfaces that are still clean from the day before. It’s not as tedious as when you need to keep conversation with your hovering client. 

As you empty the crumb tray of the toaster, your peace is punctured. The front door opens and closes and you hear Steve’s voice. He’s not talking to you, if he even expects you to be there. 

“Sam, yeah, I don’t know,” he sounds agitated. “I called him. Didn’t pick up for me either. Shoot.” 

There’s a silence as he listens to the other end of the conversation. You slide the tray back in the appliance as you tip toe around. You collect the errant crumbs from the counter top.  

“My shoulder...” Steve groans. “I know, I know, you told me--” 

You’re half-startled as Steve appears in the kitchen door, his shirt pulled up to his chest, crooked as he has one shoulder free of it. He freezes as you face him cluelessly. He clears his throat. 

“Uh, Sam, call ya back.” He hangs up and nears the island, setting the phone down. He pushes his arm back in his shirt and pulls it down, covering his muscled stomach as his eyes drift away bashfully. “I didn’t hear you.” 

“That’s fine,” you assure him. “Finishing up.” You go to the bin and dust off your hands over it. You let the lid shut. “Bag’s only half full, I’ll take it tomorrow.” 

“No problem,” he says. 

You’re quiet as you gather up your cleaner and cloth. You bring it all to the door as he heads in the same direction. You both stop right at the threshold, unsure of the other. 

“Hey, uh, so... everything okay? Anything I can do to make your job easier?” he asks. 

The reply that flickers wouldn’t be very nice. You’re sure it would be much simpler without him always asking you that. Still, you have to appreciate his concern. Another girl in the agency told you about how her client barely says a word. Of how nervous it makes her.  

Steve makes you uneasy in a different way. Is there a such thing as too nice? You’ve been told you’re too pessimistic so surely the pendulum can swing in the other direction. 

“Everything’s fine,” you assure him. 

“I try not to leave too much mess,” he says with a smile. 

“Right, that’s... good. Thanks.” 

Slowly, you inch forward. You squeeze past him into the next room. Despite your efforts to shrink, you still manage to brush against him. You swear his fingers tickle just along your thigh. You don’t linger to think about it. Or rather, overthink it. 

You put your things in your kit and give a once over. His shadow looms in the kitchen door as he watches you. Again, you get the sense that he might have control issues. Some people just can’t let go of the steering wheel. 

“Hey, uh, I got an odd request,” he steps forward before you can return to the entry way. 

You pause and step back to face him, “alright?” 

“I was training this morning,” he reaches and rubs his shoulder, “you know, I think I stretched something and I can’t quite reach--” 

You blink as your brows draw together. He’s not asking you to do that, is he? 

“I know it’s kinda weird. You can say no,” he keeps his hand clamped around his muscle. “It’s just tugging the back of my neck like a fish hook.” 

“No,” you say, almost a bit too quickly. “No, I don’t think I can do that.” 

“Ah, yeah, obviously,” he chuckles. “You’re just the maid. It’s probably against the rules, huh?” 

You stare at him, fighting not to let your expression curdle. That’s very strange. This is strange. If anyone knew that Captain America was this socially awkward, they might not be star struck by the golden mane and shining shield. 

“Yep,” you say. “Uh, anyway, I think I got everything.” 

“You know,” he crosses the room as you flit out into the entryway. “I wouldn’t ask if it didn’t really hurt. I just, you know, I’m here alone. Don’t really have anyone else to ask.” 

“Sorry about that,” you shrug as you zip up your jacket. “You could try a masseuse.” 

He crosses his arms and stands over you as you pull on your shoes. “Yeah, that’s a good idea.” 

You stand up and go to grab your kit. He bends too, coming so close, you feel his breath. You look up and your noses nearly touch. You recoil and rip your hand away, knocking the bucket so the long duster and the roll of paper towels spill out. 

“Oh, uh, you surprised me,” you bend to gather up the roll and duster. 

“No problem, just trying to help,” he towers over you as you slowly straighten. You gulp and reach for the handle of your kit. 

“That’s nice of you but I think I got it,” you put your hand around the plastic, right next to his, but he doesn’t let go. You hug the armful of supplies as you tug lightly. “Really, I got it.” 

He yanks back so you’re forced closer to him. Your skins speckles and stings with sweat. You bat your eyes up at him. “So, you spend all day cleaning, you must get sore. What do you do?” 

“Erm,” you narrow your eyes as you feel his grip tighten on the kit. “A hot bath, I guess?” 

“Hot bath...” he echoes. “Sounds nice.” 

“Maybe some epsom salts,” you suggest and try to wiggle the bucket. “Steve, uh, I gotta go.” 

He nods, “you gonna have a hot bath?” 

Your chest feels clogged as you try not to falter. You’re not overreacting. He’s being... a lot. 

“I got another job,” you utter. “Please...” 

Your voice cracks without meaning to. You stare up at him and his brows rise slightly. He lets go of the bucket and smiles. 

“Sure, sure, you work so hard,” he turns his palms out then firmly braces his hips, striking that classic Cap pose. “I hope you get that hot bath.” 

You put the towels and duster back in the bucket and hold it with both hands. You grit your teeth and back up. “See ya tomorrow.” 

“See ya then,” he winks. 

You hurry for the door and he follows. You almost feel like he’s chasing you. You feel foolish for that thought as he pulls the door open and lets you out. You don’t look back as you flee. Can he see how uncomfortable you are? Does he even care? 

You’re starting to think this might not be a control thing. Not in the way you thought. 

[theofaniasun]

Edit:

I started to think more about this.

Apart from @coloricioso already explaining extensively the denial of Persephone’s agency in the myth through the perspective of Zeus orchestrating the resolution (and the fact that we never get a scene that reveals what the REAL reason why Zeus offers Hades Persephone other than presumably Hades wants her as his wife), this is actually the ONE myth where, interestingly enough, Hades is undermining Zeus’s authority.

Contrary to popular belief, Hades is the more loyal brother and usually doesn’t get in the way of Zeus’s rule, but HERE he technically follows his orders but finds a loop hole to invite a factor that yet again thwarts Zeus to follow through his plans to do damage control in appeasing Demeter in order to get what he wants, via feeding Persephone the seeds.

The HHTD is so interesting to read for one of the reasons is that Hades gets more character development than one might think if you actually squint and read between the lines.

He’s initially a clear subordinate to Zeus at the beginning of the myth: Zeus has to give permission to the marriage & does many things for Hades in order to make the abduction happen (I.e. tells Gaia to create the narcissus to lure Persephone), but later towards the end, this dynamic shifts. The moment Zeus is not on his side anymore, the moment Hades can’t rely on his fraternal ally, the Patriarch of the pantheon, to get what he wants, he immediately starts scheming. While Demeter directly defies Zeus in a way that’s apparent to the reader, Hades also indirectly defies Zeus that’s a little less apparent to the reader.

Scholars who say Zeus is responsible for planning everything that happened are never quite convincing to me. I can only see he aids the abduction and pitifully tries to back track the matrimony between Hades and Persephone. Every other thing he did is just making other gods try to convince Demeter to stop the famine and failing. He is ONLY trying to bring back the status quo more than anything, NOT reinventing it. The scholars would be on to something if maybe when Zeus orders Hermes to go to Hades, he may have had Hermes relay the plan of the pomegranate seeds to Hades and then from Hermes’ word of mouth, Hades is following orders. BUT there is NO such indication of that when we read the exact text. Hades just “smiles with his brows” in response and there’s no sign of mutual understanding between Hermes and Hades, like a signal or a wink at each other, of a possible plan of deception. Zeus did not seem to predict Hades pulling the pomegranate loop hole because his direct orders is just to bring Persephone back. There’s also the other detail of possible translations that indicate he’s acting inconspicuously when he’s speaking to Persephone, possibly so that Hermes doesn’t see what’s going on. So if he’s hiding his course of actions from Hermes then that seems to support my and @coloricioso’s case that Zeus could not have planned Hades giving Persephone the seeds and did not communicate such a plan to Hades. Hades orchestrated that specific plan on his own. It’s only up to Persephone to seal the deal.

The fact that Hades, at this point, no longer seeks his fellow male god, Zeus’s approval through attempting compensation as the patriarchial custom pertains, but instead, takes measures to attempt compensation only to his wife. He monologues a very thorough speech that details all the things Persephone will gain right before he offers the fruit, essentially a terms and agreement contract that redirects the current situation to one that would feel mutually beneficial for both himself and his new wife. *Looking at his plan of actions, this befits how Plato’s Cratylus describe Hades as a wise god with a silver tongue that can say persuasive words who consorted with Persephone because she is equally wise.

I think it’s relevant to note how, of all the gods who appeared in the myth, it’s these three gods: Demeter-Hades-Persephone, who are in the forefront to bridge the Chthonic world and Olympus. @coloricioso had other posts that mention this hymn’s one of many purposes is telling the origins of the Eleusinian Mysteries. Demeter, Persephone and Hades were the three gods who were worshipped and respected in that cult. *there are Ploutoniums fixed in some of the remains of the temples of Demeter and Persephone.

I would think Zeus mainly appears throughout the myth to affirm the legal validation of this new order, as King of gods who oversees the conduct of everyone else, but not to prove that he is the ‘mastermind’ behind this new arrangement.

Heck, he wasn’t even the one who voiced the terms of Persephone returning and leaving the Underworld every so months - it was Demeter.

I believe the underlying meaning of this hymn is focused on revealing the power of the triad gods (Demeter/Persephone/Hades) of the Eleusinian Mysteries that created the rites the Greeks know to partake in; the same way that the other hymns of individual gods narrate the origins of many of their rites and traditions.

Anyways, just originally wanted to say this hymn shows Hades can be a low key calculating god who can act outside of Zeus’s supremacy instead of always a dutiful god as others here have usually iterated.

Instead I ended up writing an essay no one asked for…

Welp.

Persephone active role in the Hymn to Demeter

I want to express my criticism of some scholars’ analysis regarding the Hymn to Demeter. I’ve read different thesis that state that “By giving his daughter Persephone to Hades, Zeus intends to create a bridge and alliance between the upper and the hitherto inaccessible lower world” (Strauss Clay, The Politics of Olympus, 213).

I think there is a mistake in giving so much credit to Zeus, and futhermore, I think the Hymn we have -as other scholars also state- is combining separate stories in attempt to make an “olympization” of the Persephone-Demeter story by trying to introduce Zeus as the King of gods, the god at the top of the hierarchy. When we read the Hymn, despite it says things happen “for the will/plan of Zeus” we can clearly see that Zeus is not an authoritarian figure, his plans get frustrated, Demeter shows to be more powerful than he is, and so on. But the most important, if we claim that it is Zeus’ plan to make a connection between the upper world and the underworld, this plain ONLY succeeds because of Persephone and Hades actions, never his.

Let’s take again, the statement of “Zeus is trying to effect a more permanent connection between the various spatial regions that make up the universe” (Douglas Al-Maini, The Political Cosmology of the Homeric Hymn to Demeter, 98). This bridge and communication between worlds continues to be unexistent after Hades abducts Persephone until the very end of the Hymn (line 445) Demeter wanders through the world unable to reach her daughter, this means: Hades remains an inaccessible realm. This reality of isolation is such, that at line 335, “Zeus sends Hermes, the only god with the ability to traverse the barrier between the upper and lower worlds, to the Lord of the Dead” (Strauss Clay, 249). 

Can you follow my idea until this moment? What I’m trying to say, is that we’ve been giving too much credit to Zeus and making Persephone a pasive character, when actually she and Hades are the ones who create the bridge between the worlds! Why? Because when Hades gives his speech (emphasis on lines 363-366) he is stating that Persephone’s honors entail her role as mediator between the worlds, and Persephone accepts such role by eating the pomegranate seeds.

Lines 363 to 366: I shall be no unfitting husband for you among immortals, since I am brother to father Zeus. And while you are there*, you shall rule all that lives and moves and shall have the highest honor among the deathless gods”.

*Some translations make the lines as “while you are here”, but according to Richardson (1974) the word is “thither” (ἔνθα - entha) meaning that “Persephone will remain Hades’ wife amongst the gods, and she will rule in the upper world over all that lives and moves and will hold her honours ‘amongst the gods”.

It’s Hades action of giving the pomegranate to Persephone -and her acceptance of it- the one that guarantees that Persephone will be able to move between the spheres of the world and fulfill her mediator role. Zeus has no part on this. 

Lines 372-374: (Hades) gave her a pomegranate seed to eat, honey-sweet, by stealth, taking care himself that she might not remain always again with revered dark-robed Demeter.  

Persephone accepts the pomegranate, let’s remember that twice she is called “wise” by epithets that refer to her intelligence:

Line 359: And he (Hades) straightway urged wise* Persephone, saying: 

“wise” = δαΐφρονι, daïphroni an epithet used in Homeric narrative to refer to male figures (in the Hymn in line 96 and 233 to refer to Celeus).

Line 370: When he said this, strong-minded* Persephone was filled with joy 

Strong-minded = περίφρων, periphrôn also wise.

Hades and Persephone are aware of the consequence of the pomegranate (the division of the time Persephone will have to spend on each world) and Demeter and Zeus have to agree to this (line 445 and line 463). As Strauss Clay says “It is evident that Demeter immediately knows the consequences of her daughter’s eating in Hades. As soon as she recognizes them, the goddess offers no further resistance”. After this Strauss Clay asks could it be that Demeter acquiesces to the arrandement because she comprehends and accepts its full significance? and the answer is yes. Demeter and Zeus accept this new configuration of the world where Hades and Olympus are communicated and no longer isolated. (Demeter) clearly does accept the consequences of the swallowing of the pomegranate seed and the irreversibility both of Persephone’s bond with Hades and of a cyclic life/death, fertility/infertility pattern with results from that bond (Rubin and Deal, 1980, Some functions of the Demophon Episode in the Homeric Hymn to Demeter,18).

Although it is not the purpose here to discuss the idea of Persephone’s unwillingless, I will repeat that Persephone eating unwillingly is not a possibility since it would mean that the epithets to refer to Persephone’s intelligence are a mere ornament in the Hymn and that idea is really absurd. Most of scholars agree that Persephone lies with her verbose answer since according to the narrator Hades never used force. Also, the idea of forced eating = “sexual rape” is not a possibility either. The few people who try to defend this idea mostly do it because to them the Hymn is a reflection of women’s initation by rape (like Bruce Lincoln) making connection as “Persephone the flower girl” gets “deflorated”, and others arguments that are not accurate. As I’ve stated before, the Hymn does not use a rape-narrative. In line 413 when Persephone says Hades unwillingly forced her to eat she uses the word “βίῃ” that is not the word used for rape-narrative in the rest of the literature, and in the Hymn that is the word Demeter uses to tell how (she) Doso was abducted by pirates in line 124. The Hymn clearly show us that both mother and daughter are good at making up stories. 

So, in conclusion, I strongly believe that Persephone and Hades together are the ones who, by their union and marriage, take the decision to create a bridge and alliance between Olympus and the Underworld. This, obviously meaning, that Persephone has an active role in her story. And, to finish this writing, I’d like to quote Susan Deacy’s words when she says: (…) placing my study under the “aegis” of the feminist third wave. I shall pursue one of the goals of this “wave”, that of finding opportunities for female agency in unexpected contexts (From “lowery tales” to “heroic rapes”: virginal subjectivity in the mythological meadow, 2013, 397). 

[crimson-and-clover-1717]

I know this skit is partly played for laughs, but I think Ed says some interesting things which reveal his thoughts on becoming an innkeeper.

This. This is so important in understanding Ed and what he wants. He wants as little stress as possible.

Ed wants a ‘pretty good life’. Not wealth or notoriety. He wants something easy, fun and stress-free.

It’s a part again for Ed. An act. There are props involved. This time it’s keys. Ed wants to act the part of ‘innkeeper’. The second person of it all, ‘you’. There’s detachment. Another play. This is where we see Ed’s creativity which needs an outlet. Ed’s an artist.

I always think of Ed as that person others very much like, but who is always on the outside of the group. And he sort of captures it here. He struggles to belong partly because his identity is unmoored, and also maybe as protection. Ed wants to be liked. Wants to be around people. But he also sets himself apart as the innkeeper or kind jailer; he needs that little bit of control to feel safe. Because he has rarely felt safe.

Ed’s talking about the guests. But he’s exploring agency here too. Because Ed hasn’t been able to ‘go whenever he wants’. He’s had his own jailer with a set of metaphorical keys. If Ed has the keys now as the innkeeper, he can ‘go whenever he wants.’

And now we come to David’s Christmas fic. And this innkeeper lark is no longer simple. Ed’s lost control of the keys. Ed’s handed Stede ‘the keys’ it seems. And Stede, bless him, is trying to make this work so much for Ed. And it’s becoming another prison for them both.

Ed wants simplicity, creativity, agency, and friendship. Oh, and his partner. He wants Stede. Time for a change…

[hightowerqueen]

this is just me yapping about lucanis tbh

one of the big things DAtV tells you about Lucanis is that he has been robbed of basically any agency in his own life. I am very fond of his exchange with a trans Rook, where he expresses with the slightest hint of jealousy that he admires Rook for being themselves unashamedly.

I've seen some back and forth re: Lucanis enjoying being an assassin, and I think the rub for me is that any enjoyment he finds in it is tainted, in a way, because it isn't a life he chose. He rebels against it in the ways that he can (freeing eyewitness slaves in WMJ, for example), and expresses no interest in ever having a higher position than the one he does. Most of his "enjoyment" is derived from going after the Venatori, objectively bad people. He makes it his whole thing. He exercises the very little control he has by bending the rules and shaping his situation into something he can swallow more easily. He takes pride in the more vigilante aspects of the Crows.

(sidenote: being a weapons enthusiast or any similar hobby is not inherently tied to being an assassin.)

But ultimately he's incapable of freeing himself from that life if he wants to, and as someone else said, Caterina very much puts him on the spot with that public promotion and he *can't* say no. They can't afford to look weak in front of all those eyes.

So it's not that i want to "simplify" him into a househusband. I just want him to be allowed to get to know himself and find who he wants to be. I want him to have choices.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

2024 tuesdaypost retrospective

it's hard not to make this all about my nearly full 365 days of unemployment. i have cut a great deal from this wrapup. thank you all for your love and support (often financial!) this year :') it has never been scarier to have no familial safety net and i really, really appreciate all of you relative strangers (i have met very few of you in person!)

jobs applied to: my best estimate is 4500 given my daily target balanced with periods of more acute despair and physical illness

interviews: 2

calls to the massachusetts unemployment agency: 73

cats spayed and/or neutered: 3 (phil, orange boy, ruby)

eclipses seen: 1

hurricanes: 1

completely fallow weeks: 5

i have GOT to be more specific about writing out loud what worked and what didn't work instead of resorting to "vibes were off". i also have to remember to be better about saying where i found things and saying the premise/genre of the film. i try to draft these on sunday nights so i can kind of mull things over for a bit, but that rarely happened this year.

highlights of the year: a tomato plant in a five gallon bucket, hotvintagepoll, the eclipse, my new zebrawood desk, throwing my own birthday party (NOT passive aggressive it was very comforting to be in full control), ren faire, the modern zelda games, genshin impact, heist films, naomi novik's temeriare series, Navigational Entanglements by Aliette de Bodard, the Popping Tins newsletter about tinned fish products, new joywave and beyonce and charli xcx and kesha albums, and an actual play podcast focused on critical worldbuilding smart characterization and fun interaction between good friends.

questions? comments? concerns? something about the structure/critique of these posts or a work i talked about really click or really not work for you? i would love to know!

listening

all the tuesdaysongs are in one spotify playlist below. if i recced a whole album (only did that this year with The Offline’s La couleur de la mer and Toshiyuke Honda's SONGS OF THE MILKY WAY ) i put the song i thought most representative of the album.

special shoutouts to the Well There's Your Problem engineering disasters podcast, the Sangfielle season of Friends at the Table, The 404 Media Podcast news/tech/culture podcast, and the Whale Hunting podcast about financial crimes.

i would like to find music through other avenues than the spotify weekly recs playlists, especially since the platform has noticeably nosedived after their last round of firing people. unforch i have yet to find a music influencer/blog/tastemaker/podcast whose tastes jive with my own.

-

reading

the sort of three broad categories of stuff i talk about in the reading section are articles, comics, and actual books. fairly pleased with my RSS feed, which is filling the twitter hole and also has a separate Real US News tab i can look at in a more controlled manner. people seem to have liked the article/book combo bc reading a book a week is usually kind of a heavy lift for people who are employed. as long as i do either an article or a book i feel like this category is checked off in my brain. i would like to do both more weeks and figure out how to do more concise book reports. i am pleased that people seem to like the couple weeks of giant DNF lists where i briefly state why i did not finish a specific older scifi paperback.

shoutout to @rae-being-naughty for introducing me to one of my favorite new authors, t kingfisher! what a delectable niche. those books go down SO easy. shoutouts also to the temeraire books, Trouble And Her Friends by Melissa Scott (what if neuromancer was good?), Dark Wire by Joseph Cox (nonfiction about the encrypted phone company the FBI shadow-ran) and Witch Hat Atelier.

the OPPOSITE of a shoutout to the most frustrating books i did not finish this year, a fragile enchantment by allison saft (the very weird fantasy meghan/harry fantasy au????) and jennifer dugan's the ride of her life, a cowgirl wlw romance that had some kid pop up in the second chapter and yell about how they shipped the leads and were making a tiktok about it. hello??????? huh????? i had that book on hold for SIX MONTHS. what the fuck did people see in that book???

reading and holding and interacting with a physical hard copy book is so much better for my shattered attention span, and i have giant bookcases full of physical books i desperately want to read, but i read ebooks so much faster. a dilemma that will for sure continue into the new year.

-

watching

logged almost 169 things on letterboxd this year so far (almost nice). the giant spike is when i watched a a dozen individually loggable betty boop shorts. tasty tasty stats.

saw one entire film (howl's moving castle) in theaters and i do not think i will be doing that again bc (while fun) it was a very anxiety inducing experience.

more tv and shorts and tv comprised entirely of shorts than i expected to watch this year!

watching highlights of the year:

-

playing

the gaming rig i bought in 2020 is really staring to show its age and only very light-resource pc games are feasible rn. very many thanks to both @sybilius and @pasta-pardner who both bought me games i will one day play!

spent most of the year with big open world exploration/puzzle/action games, as is traditional. barely touched a fallout this year, which is less traditional.

by hours, the ranking is probably

genshin impact

breath of the wild

tears of the kingdom

STUFF SORT on my phone

stardew valley

powerwash simulator

what are people interested in seeing in this section?

the trouble with this section is that has been a thorn in my side basically since i started this series, but games are such a part of my life it feels weird NOT talking about them? but talking about video games is difficult bc none of them are very good. i find myself Still a little burned out on them even after almost three years on from the video games job. finding something fun and free on itch or steam is very time-consuming. every time i talk about genshin i feel like i have to caveat it with one million Don't Play Gacha Games warning stickers like the ones that come on cigarettes. and i don't feel like a screenshot of whatever achievement i hunted on genshin in a specific week is very interesting to people.

maybe the solution is to cut this section for a while and have a special bonus add on section every once in a while??? i dunno. would love to know people's thoughts here on how to make talking about/telling stories about the games i play more interesting.

-

making

the tuesdayposts as a whole have been both very good and very bad for my mental health, bc i really needed a project to work on to break up the soul crushing monotony of writing cover letters. however writing the tuesdaypost every week was often a very anxiety inducing expereince bc i felt like i didn't do much. or did stuff very unevenly. the "point" of the tuesdayposts is to remind myself every week that absorbing a lot of different things helps me stay on a more even keel. esp in times of great unrest. unfortunately, a year of unemployment.

i saw my siblings twice, managed to actually write and post christmas cards, framed a bunch of shit, discovered a new favorite soup, and did some indifferent gardening and cross stitch.

the making section this year tended to be more lifestyle blogging/what i cleaned. a lot of weeks i did not have Anything in the tank except basic vacuuming and halfhearted wiping counters down.

however??? i managed to post three fics??? two were previously written but at least they are no longer languishing on my harddrive??

this goofy little NFT genderswap blondeyes has the craziest hits to kudos ratio on anything ive ever written.

i really do intend on finishing this cait/fahrenheit 5+1. the stars have not been aligned.

this very brief crossover has gotten some of the loveliest comments!!! when i am done directing and choreographing the big prisoner/arcade argument in my brain i am excited to actually write that.

im genuinely for real afraid to ask or expect anything of 2025, but here it comes anyway!

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

“Mai deserves so so much better from the fandom. She barely did anything wrong, especially compared to Zuko. "She's mean!" No, she's sarcastic. You just only see her with a girl she fears and a peppy bubblegum girl. Also it's implied to be a front because of her fear and probable hate of Azula. Also, while it doesn't excuse the fact she supported the FN in her actions, she never did ideologically, only going along with Azula because she was afraid”

What do you think of this? I agree that Mai is overhated but I disagree about her secretly hating Azula (at least show wise. Comics are different from what I’ve heard.)

I think this is the worst kind of "In defense of..." type of meta: the kind that refuses to engage with the character's canonical flaws, including the ones that are a core part of their arc.

While fear and control is absolutely an element in nearly every single dynamic that involves Azula, and Mai did grow to resent her for it and it led to their falling out, the simple fact is that Mai, for a long time, genuinely liked Azula and joined her in book 2 WILLINGLY. She always goes wherever she believes she'll have the most agency, and her parents were so awful that a control-freak Azula actually was an improvement.

Now, don't get me wrong, Mai was well-aware that, from the moment Azula showed up, she'd try to do something to force her hand if she had said no - hence the show making her question what the hell Ty Lee was doing there when she had been much happier at the circus, and also jokingly asking Azula is she was there to kill her.

But that doesn't change the fact that Mai was raised under the same tyranical rulers as both Zuko and Azula, and while she wasn't really a patriot that would set herself on fire if it made the Fire Lord happy like they were, she was still fed enough propaganda that she saw nothing wrong with the war and believed the Fire Nation had every right to just kill anyone that got in the way of their goal of world domination.

Much like Zuko, she was hunting down the last survivor of a genocide, constantly attacked the Gaang (and taunted them when she thought she won), and helped Azula take Ba Sing Se because she saw nothing wrong with any of it. She just didn't feel as strongly about it being her "duty" or tied to her "honor" like he did

(Hell, she refuses to obey Azula in "The Drill" because she doesn't want to be covered in mud, and is fully ready to face the potential consequences for it. If she had literally ANY genuine objection to all the racist/imperialist things Azula was doing, she would not have participated in it, no matter how scared she was of being hurt or killed)

But it's exactly because she knows Zuko and how strongly he feels about their nation that it shocks her when he changes side, especially when he says he did it to SAVE the Fire Nation. She doesn't truly understand what the hell he means at that point, but she trusts him enough to know that, if he of all people turned against the current system, he had damn good reason to do so, and thus she takes a leap of faith - and once again, follows the person that gives her more agency.

Mai doesn't care much for any ideology, but she WAS fed one from birth and it affected how she viewed the world. And because of her very strong attachment to PEOPLE and a desire to connect to something for once, she allowed herself to actually think about what she was contribuiting to. And while she still wasn't at a point where the harm the war did to the other nations would register to her, she saw first-hand the damage it did to the person she loved the most, and how her own parents were terrible to her because that system allowed them to get away with it, encouraged it even.

Much like Iroh and Zuko starting to question everything only after Lu Ten's death and the disastrous Agni Kai with Ozai, Mai's change of heart about imperialism could ONLY come after some kind of personal tragedy because that's how war propaganda works - it dehumanizes anyone that fits into the category of "other", to the point that you don't see their pain even when you're the one causing it. Once they had doubts about all the happiness and glory they were promised, they could see the role they played in other people's misery and actually feel any guilt over it.

The whole fandom loves Iroh and Zuko despite their past (that they felt WAY more "righteous" about than Mai ever did), it makes no sense to act like Mai going along with the exact same shit somehow makes her a fundamentally garbage person. We don't need to erase that flaw in her character to defend her from dumb people that are just bitter she's the one who made out with Zuko instead of their fave, we just need to point out the clear double-standard of them forgiving Zuko but not her, even though she changed sides almost IMMEDIATELY instead of rejecting chance after chance like he did for nearly three seasons (once again, propaganda is not that easy to get over).

As for her being "mean" - yeah, she is mean sometimes, much like Zuko could be a real asshole and downright verbally abusive before his redemption.

Now, do people exagerate how mean Mai tended to be in order to make her look worse? Absolutely (and they also exagerate how strong of a reaction other people had to it, see zutara fans acting like Zuko was deeply hurt by her "I just asked if you were cold" comment in The Awakening, even though he doesn't get mad at all AND actually turns to her for support again in Nightmares and Daydreams)

But there were moments where she DID cross the line from simply sarcastic teenager into "You're just being a bitch right now" (joining in on the trashing of Chan's house comes to mind), and that's okay, because it was the point. It was a flaw that she got better at handling as she opened herself up to loving and being loved, to not mistreating people just because she could/was ordered to, and that's why she was an engaging character who earned her happy ending. She learned from her mistakes.

[labyrinthofsphinx]

https://labyrinthofsphinx.tumblr.com/post/760078820972937216/theoretically-if-vox-ever-died-would-alastor-eat

Shoot, another question popped in my head (Same anon that’s been rereading all the posts). In this ask, Vox pauses when he’s mentioning the fact that a dead person can’t say no anymore, and also is pretty focused on the ‘who cares what a body wants’ part. Did he pause because he was thinking of that in regards to Alastor, something that happened to him, something that happened to somebody he cares about, or just because he’s considerate of the wishes of dead people??? Considering the fact that he does actively cook, uh, ‘dinner’ for Alastor sometimes, I feel like it would be one of the former. Or was it nothing and I’m reading too much into it? 😅

Ooooh, you get a gold star, Anon! Nice catch! I guess a bit more convo on this, though, as a note, this is going to go into Vox's mindset about consent, in a sense:

So, you're very much on the right trail. Vox is very, very concerned with personal agency, specifically in his own ability to decide things. It's not so much a control issue, like it is with Alastor, as it is just Vox believing that after everything he's accomplished and all the things he's had to do to get where he is...he's entitled to get a say on things.

He's done a lot to get where he is and, as he said himself, murder is among the more 'mundane' things that kept him climbing that ladder. He's worked hard, brushed elbows with the right people, stole, blackmailed, lied, and fought tooth and nail to get to the top of his pyramid....and in a sense, he still has to do what other people say and expect. He still has to 'act the part'. For example, sleeping around with people that he, honestly, doesn't care about to maintain his very 'masculine' image. It's his 'choice' to do it, but only because, if he wants to keep that throne of his, he almost has to. Lacking that broader choice drives him up the wall, not that he ever seems to show it. We're going to go into this more later.

With Alastor very specifically...things get a little dicey with regard to this. Because, here's the thing, Vox really doesn't have many rules at all with Al. Things run by Al's comfort levels mostly. So if Alastor wants to do something, especially if it makes him happy....Vox is probably going to let him do it. Hence the cannibalism. Vox honestly, truly, hates it. He hates the pain, how gross it is, and how it reminds him of things he'd really rather forget (like Tac tormenting him as a child). But he puts up with it because Alastor loves it. He places a lot of trust with Alastor when he lets Al bite him, not that Alastor ever sees that. And, to Vox, it's still 'his choice' in his mind. He can always tell Alastor, 'no' (not that he ever has before).

The body question was...very uncomfortable for him because, in a roundabout way, Alastor all but said he would do what he wanted regardless of what Vox thought because 'he's just a body at that point'. He may spend his days all but selling himself, the image and the fantasy of himself, to the masses, but it's another thing entirely to be made into a 'thing', a 'commodity', by his partner. He can mostly drown out those thoughts by just thinking about it from Alastor's perspective, that he knows Alastor is only thinking with cold, hard logic, not emotion. That, and he knows Alastor almost can't put himself in someone else's shoes. From that angle, he gets what Alastor meant to say, which lessens the blow a bit: All that was Vox is dead, the body by itself is not Vox.

...but there is that little part in him that is going to be stuck on it. That everybody always 'wants' something from him. Apparently, even Alastor 'wants' something...just not in the usual way people 'want' bodies. It's also pretty potent because Vox always waits for Alastor's explicit consent on things, hence his own answer on the question of doing whatever Al had asked for.

In a way, Alastor assumes he basically always has Vox's consent unless told, and Vox always assumes he doesn't have Al's consent unless told.

We're going to see more of how this plays into the dynamic down the line.

Anywho, thanks for the ask! And good on you for spotting that!

[wyvchard]

Resignation and Firing

After several failed attempts to escape their fate via Zoraxis execution, Agent Phoenix has finally resigned.

Content Warnings: Impermanent Death, Guns, Execution, Allusions to historical events and shrines, References of violence

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

... If that is the case, have I gone insane?

I don't know how long I've been in this time loop but I know it is enough to make me feel weary.

My hands were bound by a device that shielded the outside world from my telekinesis. My feet were shackled by chains that bound them from the rest of the world.

The cold metal of the gun was placed right behind me, replacing the weight of my earpiece.

"Don't step there. It feels more like a bad omen." The worried tone was soon after followed by the yank that took me away from my path. "You're walking in the same path that someone who died."

"But... he's a hero." I turned to critical eyes, looking coldly at me.

"... You're walking the last steps of an executed hero."

Bronze steps lined the last walk of the main figure who sparked a revolution, marked and paved in the concrete as we took a walk deeper into the park.

Memories of an old field trip returned in my mind, feeling the stone path through my shoes as we bathed in the noonday sun.

As we walked, listening to the life of that hero, his birth and accomplishments, we all came with the knowledge of his end.

... Just like who I know how this time loop will end when I fight it.

My steps had been marked. Deviate just a bit and gunpowder will rain from the ends of several guns.

It wasn't like before where the smoke only come from special effects. It wasn't like the time I held someone in my arms telling them in was only a loud noise. It wasn't like... everything.

The green grass of the park was replaced by the barren concrete of the facility. The friendly tour guide talking about the historical figure while leading us around: the operatives remaining silent while leading me to my death... The sun that warmed my cheeks as I ran around, harsh lights that seem to remain cold even as my cheek remained pressed onto the cold concrete.

... I'm sure that they'd have to resupply their fireworks if we had to compare it to how many times I'd been riddled by bullets.

The multiple times warmth slowly seeped out of my body, carmine staining the floor like the multitude who have met the same fate, fighting against a force stronger than any one single person can fight.

... Is the only option I have... waiting for death? Accepting it? Hope that the agency can find me before I stop?

I can only delay my execution by so much. I can only endure their beating by so much. I can only hold on for this much.

All escapre routes are cut off, leaving me caged in a cell before they finally decided to end my life hours later.

... Would it be foolishness to hope they'll find me before I get shot if I decided to play along? Does he even know?

"Are you sure you're alright?" I answered the phone while a Zoraxis operative handcuffed my other hand, disabling my telekinesis.

"... I'm fine po." I tried to control my voice as the barrel of the gun was aimed directly at my head. "It's getting late. I'm going to sleep now. See you in a couple hours, Sir."

Did I do a good job of hiding the fact I was held hostage that night?

"You're docile right now, Agent. Did something happen?"

I refuse to answer any of Zor's provocations.

I'm so tired.

Just tired.

But falling won't do a thing.

It's funny. I now get why the agency gave us the option to write a letter addressed to people in the event of our death.

... Not everyone can have time to write one. Or even get theirs to the recipients.

Will the agency even honor my final wishes? I've turned into a figurehead. And last I checked, I don't even know if we did respect his last wishes either.

I was made to stand, back towards several guns as I decided one more act of defiance.

Just like how he turned around so he didn't get executed like a 'traitor', I'll turn around so I wouldn't fall like a coward.

... And I'm so glad I did.

"Agent!"

... Reggie, you came with everyone.

Would it be alright if I sit this fight out?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tag List:

@phoenix-and-found-family, @the-one-and-only-043, @ghostlystarwanderer, @jellyfishgummy

@blueorchid-95, @pandagobrr, @silverdragon889, @tillywunderwing, @stellar-collective

I got up and chose the angsty route. XD

[mixupmycota]

Also while im thinking about it - if someone responds to people expressing joy and enthusiasm and earnestness just in general with resentment/bitterness/anger/frustration/envy: they seriously need to address that, or it's going to ruin their relationships and the mental health of people around them.

People will not like them. It will not be unreasonable to dislike them. If they use it as evidence that they're too broken/fucked up/shitty to change, they will be disliked even more and it will become incredibly reasonable. Especially if they directly talk about these feelings in front of the joyful person.

It's a shitty thing to do. It's lashing out, because someone might feel like they have no control or agency in their own life, so they pick at people who are seemingly free of the problems they lack.

Doing this destroys confidence. It destroys self esteem. It's a very vicious thing to do to another person. It is not inevitable behavior.

Everyone can change. Even if the change is incredibly tiny. Even if personality disorders or complex trauma histories are at play. Even if there's ongoing disasters. We have agency in our own lives and make choices in how we treat other people. I understand feeling powerless and like we're set in stone and there's nothing that can be done but I promise it can start so small.

Even if it feels like lying to themselves, it is my hope that people who feel like this can try actively thinking about being happy for the person they see being joyful. Consider what conversations they could have with the happy person if instead of being hateful, they instead asked questions about whatever is making that person happy. They might learn something, and be able to pass it across to other people. It might cheer them up.

It will be a much better way to handle a situation then covering others in tar in an attempt to make themselves feel better by dragging others down to their level of misery.

[starrymused]

Why did Kwang-sun put distance between them? Or did he just have to stand up in order to say what he needed to? Dae sometimes had to pace around his office whenever he was dealing with difficult vendors. He watched the other quietly, sensing that him bringing up this observation had ruffled him a bit. At least, it was enough to make his hands go all fidgety.

Even though he wanted to jump in and refute certain points, Dae waited until Kwang-sun said everything. Communication. He had to focus on that. They both needed to. When he was sure Kwang-sun was done, Dae smiled. "You're annoying as hell, you know that? But... I get it, too." In his own Kwang-sun way, he was just trying to look out for him.

"I'm not into older men because of it. I don't need to go to a therapist to know that." He knew he should go to a therapist and he would, but not to confirm that. He shook his head. "You won't fuck me up. That stuff with the drugs — it's in the past. It's behind us. I'm not going to hold that over you or use it against you if you make me mad." He really wouldn't.

"I've never felt as clear-headed as I do now and I don't want to be seen as a person who can't know what he wants or have his own agency because of what happened to him. I've never felt more free. More in control of my own life. Yeah, I should go to therapy and I will. But why can't I have more than that?" Therapy would be a long-term thing and he didn't want to wait that out before he could be seen as someone who was "safe" to be with. He wanted both.

"Let's recap," Dae said as he leaned forward on the couch. "I don't have a fixation on older men because of what happened. The thought has never crossed my mind. You aren't like him at all, so don't draw any comparisons. Not even in age." Dae's gaze softened. "You feel guilty about getting me on Fake Love. Well, don't. We're past that and it isn't like it harmed me. It actually helped me through bad shit, so it actually benefited me. I forgive you for that, if you need to hear me say that."

Dae felt confident speaking like this. He knew what to say and how to say it. "I'd like to try this with you. Whatever it turns out to be. Maybe I was a bit too forward the first time, afraid that if I didn't say it then that I'd never get the chance to. If you're unsure about a relationship with me, then that's fair. That's normal, isn't it?" People had to date before they committed to that kind of thing. "We could hang out more. See where it goes." He paused and looked away with a hint of a smile. No, Dae-seong. No looking away. Look back. He looked back.

"And if you really don't want to try it, then we won't. I won't bring it up to you again." It wasn't a threat or anything; just clear intentions. If Kwang-sun didn't want to give it a go, then Dae would accept his defeat and let it go.

"That's because you're spending too much time with Ivanov," Kwang-sun muttered. He fell quiet, though, allowing Dae to talk about his date further.

Great. He was coming around to the reality of --

Oh, goddammit.

"What? No! Shit," He made a face at the idea of being comparable to Yang. "I mean, it--it's not like---"

Actually, no that had kind of been a concern. But not the way Dae was describing it.

He got up and went to stand by his liquor cabinet. It felt more grounding over there. Also he didn't have any Fake Love on him.

"You are a pain in the ass," he grunted, although there wasn't any heat behind his words. He ran his hands through his hair, then down his face. Then he turned back to Dae-seong.

"Look. If you're so insistent that you know what you want, fine," he said finally. "But how the fuck was I supposed to respond without feeling like I was taking advantage of you? As much as I hate to admit it, Yang and I are --" He made a face. "--Similar. If only in age. And to be fair, I did fuck you up before. With the drugs. And like -- if I didn't get to know you, I wouldn't feel bad about that at all."

None of who Jack hired were saints, Dae-seong included, but he still felt guilty over it.

"And who's to say you're not into older men because of that trauma? Like, fuck, at least go to a therapist and confirm it," he muttered. "I don't want to fuck you up any more than I have, Dae-seong."

[thetismcave]

So here’s a thing I’ve noticed: I don’t enjoy writing life!Scott as anything elf or fae-like

Controversial, I know. /lh

Maybe it’s just my aversion to ‘untouchable’ beings in a very mortal game, but I like to write Life!Scott as more.. human ig?

In the life series he’s not a white deer to me, instead he’s more of a fox, if that makes any sense. He’s got a less aggressive reputation than most other members sure, but he is still cutthroat, it’s just not obvious most of the time because of everything going on, yk? I enjoy it when Scott is written as not just petty, but also a force to be reckoned with.

Yes, he’s loyal to his teammates and very much a talk first person, but he’s also relentless when he has a target, and will absolutely resort to violence if people get on his nerves. He likes his aesthetics yes, but he’s also practical. He and Pearl basically never use their base in last life (it’s really just decorative), and threats to his houses don’t work on him at all.

Also, LS!Scott maintains his agency fiercely. A lot of the time he manages to control who he dies to and when, which is a feat and a half in a game like the Life Series. There’s also his last two runs as the boogeyman and the entirety of double life, along with his infamous willingness to off himself if it means an advantage, or even just keeping the benefits out of enemy hands (and he’s not even actively suicidal? he’s actually very good at surviving)

Idk, hes just a very interesting character to me, and I enjoy it when LS!Scott is written as more.. gritty than the other versions of him, yk?

[madbard]

“You came back wrong.”

Maybe I didn’t want to come back. Maybe you dragged me, kicking and screaming, from a death that while cold and final, was at least my own. When you placed my body on the dissection table, understand that I could not welcome your touch. When you stole back my life for me, understand that you stole it from me as well, because I was not able to choose this.

You chose it for me.

“You came back wrong.”

Maybe I did. Maybe you were desperate to hold on to me and I was desperate to hold on to myself, to keep believing I had any control over my own body, my own soul. Maybe in that moment of struggle between your fear and my will, you pulled too hard and left a part of me behind.

Maybe that was the part of me that you loved.

Maybe that was the part of me that loved you.

“You came back wrong.”

Oh, my love. What makes you think I came back?

[hadopelagian]

gem dying in wild life due to a total collapse of her attempt to maintain control of everything is a fitting conclusion to the thematic through line of her wild life character vs it's a real shame that she died in the finale of a pvp series to a randomly spawned mob

[itsatorchwoodthing]

i know this is a heheh ahah post and you’re 100% right and its funny, but can i start a conversation about jack?

bc like he’s NOT a leader, he never wanted to be a leader, he wasnt born one.

he’s always been maybe the proctor, maybe a companion, sometimes a strategist, but definitely a follower. never a leader.

that’s why he’s so much different in doctor who than in torchwood especially in later seasons: he’s comfortable with the fact that he’s like “whatever you say, yay!” to everything the doctor says. he doesnt want to make descisions, he’s so much happier when its someone else to make them for him. in boomtown he gives ‘orders’ but they’re more a strategy and he is ready to fall back to the doctor’s commands, he’s a soldier, with good ideas, but he’s always needed someone in control. he had the time agency, then the doctor, then torchwood, where he came as a ‘freelance’ agent.

at the start of s1 he’s been a leader for 6 years? who knows how much of that time he’s spent alone, he tells tosh that he doesnt know how to be a boss. because he’s never been. he’s a older brother, max.

and thar’s also why he needs gwen, because she knows what to do and he needs her to share the crushing weight he’s on his shoulders that he doesnt want to carry but HAS to. he needs someone to take the lead from him and tell him its going to be fine.

sorry this is long winded its also late does it make sense at all?

torchwood s1 is so funny because we all laugh about the dogshit management going down at torchwood three but it really was that bad. owen and suzie are just taking alien shit home for their own purposes, ianto's been hiding his half-dead cyberwoman girlfriend in the basement for months unnoticed, tosh's one night stand gives her a necklace that lets you read minds and she just doesn't mention it. at the end of the season they mutiny. by the start of kiss kiss bang bang gwen is doing a better job leading the team than jack ever did