#it’s my fucking life i don’t need the consequences explained to me i am the one experiencing them

[bloggrgirl]

put my life on the line for this exam and realized 2 minutes before time was up that there was another question worth 20 points on the last page. i slacked off in other areas of school and am facing the consequences but now it just feels like everything is going wrong no matter what i do

[predestinatos]

hungry for life - MV1 (18+) ༄˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

pairing: max verstappen x female!reader

summary: it could've been a dream trip. if it hadn't been for the nightmare of the company. (also i didn't proofread i'm sorry)

tags: enemies to lovers, smut, lots of smut, filthy really, p in v, fingering, reader swallows, idk what to say.

word count: 5.2k

MINORS DNI!!!

Monet’s Water Lilies occupied the entire room, listening to your conversation intently.

“It isn’t that big of a deal” you friend said, whispering and pointing to the painting as if she was commenting on it.

Your gaze remained on the careful brushstrokes, head tilted as you replied, “Easy for you to say. I mean, seriously? Max?” your hand raised to a specific part of the painting that really wasn’t as impressive up close as it probably was from afar - but there was no other way to have this conversation.

“You’re in Paris, looking at a Monet, with your best friend” she continued, a hint of a smile in her tone of voice. Her amusement only frustrated you more as she walked a few steps to the right, trying to inspect another part of the mesmerizing painting.

“And my worst enemy” you rolled your eyes as you followed her. “It’s not fair. When you said it would be you, your boyfriend and a friend of his, I didn’t expect this. I was thinking more of a double date.”

She looked at you, shrugging, causing her beautiful hair to bounce with her. “It can still be” she joked, to which you could only reply by turning your back to her - and consequently, Monet himself, muttering a ‘fuck you’ to her giggling frame and to the lilies who stood motionless in the still water.

You stood, alone, in front of Sam Francis’s In Lovely Blueness. You felt unlovely blue yourself, though you knew you couldn’t let this ruin a dream trip for you. Your excitement might have died down the minute you met Max at the airport and put two and two together, but you were sure it was mutual, which did make things better. At least he wasn’t particularly amused himself, falling for the exact same trap you fell into.

As if manifested by your own thoughts, his frame appeared on the corner of your eye, big eyelashes adorning his eyes as he stared ahead, almost as if he had no intention of acknowledging you whatsoever. “This is inspired in a poem by Hölderlin. It has the same name and everything. In Lieblicher Bläue. It’s a representation of-” he started, shocking you at first but then angering you just as well.

“I am an art major. I don’t need you to explain this to me” you spat, a fake smile adorning your lips as he looked at you, your annoyance, and chuckled. It was brave of him, you had to admit - to intentionally go out of his way to annoy you by explaining something you were sure he knew you knew. 

Crossing his arms across his chest, his head slightly tipped to the side, he admired how easy it was to get under your skin. He wanted to be nice, to engage in a conversation and try to achieve some type of neutral ground, but he found it impossible to do so. “Since you know so much, why don’t you guide us?” 

The comment came out aggressive and petty, which wasn’t particularly intentional but he also hadn’t made any effort to hide what he felt towards you anymore. You stepped closer to him. It surprised him, how daring you were all of a sudden, but also how much you actually seemed to dislike him, to the point where this was something you did publicly, unashamedly. 

“You want me to guide you?” you asked, whispering while looking up at him. You were smaller than him, his frame towering over you even unintentionally, but that factor didn’t stop you. 

“Sure” he said, swallowing dryly, jaw clenching as the tension between you both rose. The red on the painting seemed to stand out even more and spread on the corner of his vision, inundating the whole painting.

“Okay” you replied, taking two steps back away from him, opening the distance between your bodies, carrying the red color with you as the painting seemed to fill with blue again. But not for long, for you walked and looked at him as if urging him to follow, which he did, curiosity winning against irritation. 

After a couple of steps, you reached the end of a hallway, secluded and stripped of any painting, walls too bare, contrasting with the previous setting.

He was confused. He really didn’t know what you would do next, though this whole scenario just proved you were just as childish about your feelings as he was. “And, to your left you have the exit sign, which will take you right where you belong” you said, moving your arms like a museum guide, overly cartoon-ish on purpose, knowing it would only annoy him more.

“You’re such a child” Max said. Indignation wasn’t something he felt often, yet this time he felt it appropriate. But he was also thankful - thankful that his attempt at being nice didn’t work, for he did not have to pretend to like you for a week when he absolutely did not. “I tried, at least.”

At this, you could only gasp in surprise at his courage to make such a statement. “You tried? By mansplaining a painting? Oh, that's new!” it was almost funny how you two were whispering in shots, or shouting through whispers, the empty hallway echoing your words as if to emphasize them. 

“It’s more than what you’ve done so far! I’m not the one walking around looking all bitter and bratty.”

You stood, motionless, looking at him. His green eyes fixated on yours and burned as if they were scorching red, and as much as you wanted to lash out even more at him, you figured walking away was the best solution. Once again, turning your back on someone in Paris. It had to be done.

“Oh, yeah, walk away. Good luck doing that at the hotel” Max said, the comment a nail in your coffin, a way to affirm that yes, he had won, yes he was right, and the points had been made - you were to avoid each other at all times.

You, however, stopped. His last words echoed in your head. What did he mean, the hotel? The moment you closed the door to your room and he closed the door to his, you two would be out of each other’s sight. So what did he mean by that? That he would annoy you further, being noisy, screaming, to the point where you couldn’t sleep? You were about to ask when you decided that would admit some sort of defeat - asking someone to clarify a point you hadn’t understood in an argument seemed weak, frail and ridiculous to you, so you kept walking, desperate to find your friend again.

“No,” you said when the room card was handed to you. “Fuck no” you kept going, your best friend’s hand raised towards you as she tried to contain a hint of a smile. 

Now you understood Max’s comment. Now you were angrier than ever.

Why did you let your friend handle the hotel reservations? Because you trusted her good judgment. Which was bad judgment from your part, apparently, as she reserved two rooms - one for her and her boyfriend, and one for the friends they brought - you and Max.

“It has TWO beds” she tried convincing you, as Max had already gone up angrily, snatching the card swiftly without saying a word. “I wouldn’t put you two in a king sized bed. I am not crazy” she kept going. 

The more you thought about it, the more ridiculous it sounded. 

Max prided himself on his fast insticts and reactions to any unforseen events that might come his way. It was probably one of his best traits, one he always mentioned when asked about his favorite psychological aspect of himself.

But all that was put into question as he stood motionless in the middle of the hotel bedroom, towel wrapped lowly around his waist as the air conditioning hit his bare back and he heard the door click open.

He stood in the same place as you closed the door behind you and ran a hand through your hair as you exhaled. He had those brief seconds of you unaware of his presence to hide in the bathroom and get dressed quickly, or lay underneath the covers discreetly. Anything at all.

But he had no time to make a decision as your eyes met his, panic written across his green irises.

You prided yourself on your fast insticts and reactions to any unforeseen events that might come your way. It was probably one of your best traits, one you always mentioned when asked about your favorite psychological aspect.

But all that was put into question when you opened the door to the hotel room and saw a Max's frozen frame, towel wrapped lowly - too lowly, you thought - around his waist, swallowing hard as droplets of water ran across his bare skin.

No thoughts crossed your mind before you cursed, a hard "for fuck's sake" escaping your lips from accumulated stress over the events of the past 24 hours.

This was not how you wanted your trip to go. This was not what you had planned. It wasn't just sleeping in two separate beds.

This proved it clearly.

During this time, Max's brain found the opportunity to adapt to the situation, adopting an arrogant attitude that contrasted from his initial shock.

"Come on, I'm not fucking naked" he said as he turned his back to you, heading to the bathroom.

"You are underneath that towel" you pointed out, starting to follow him before stopping yourself, realizing it was best not to do it. "I mean, you knew I was coming"

You heard him chuckle - really, he made sure you would - and his head and bare shoulder showed up from behind the open door. "Yes. Hence the towel. Otherwise I'd be naked. Which I'm not. Don't be such a child."

You could only throw a middle finger at him in response - one that he found gave him the victory, the upper hand. One that signified the discussion was over and he was right.

He grinned to himself, closing the door as he undid the towel around his waist in order to put on his underwear and a t-shirt.

Max's hand reached for the small hanger where it was placed and his fingers wrapped around nothing. He looked at the empty hanger and then at the floor, completely empty of what he needed the most in that very moment - his boxers.

"Shit. Shit. Shit Shit" he cursed, looking around for an answer. He knew his only choice was to ask you to bring them to him, but he only knew it cost him that final victory he enjoyed so much, his ego and pride mixing with each other to create a selfishness that surprised even him sometimes.

You heard your name being called out from the bathroom. At first you thought you had imagined it, like in horror movies where it seems to be coming from everywhere, but when it sounded again you knew that wasn't the case, though it was equally as terrifying.

You jumped from your bed and went over to the bathroom, ear pressed against the door in search of a sign of danger.

"...Yes?" you asked.

"Can you bring me a pair of boxers? They're in my suitcase. That is if you don't want to see me naked for four seconds while I get them myself."

You groaned loud enough for him to hear, your steps heavier than usual so he could notice your discontentment even if he couldn't see it.

Walking over to his suitcase, you opened its zipper almost carelessly, searching for a pair of underwear in the midst of the collection of same colored t shirts and same fit jeans.

Max was walking around the bathroom like a mad man, realizing how ridiculous this situation was, and how ridiculous it was that he had accepted it without asking who his company would be first. Maybe this was a lesson, yes, from the ghost of vacations future warning him about being careful who to trust, or to spread kindness, or something.

Before he could dive deeper into thoughts of madness, a knock sounded on the door. He grabbed the towel quickly to cover himself, although he did not bother wrapping it around him. He was not planning on opening the door entirely, not after the scene you caused.

As he opened, he saw an outstretched hand - yours - holding a pair of underwear. The fabric dangled in your pointer finger as if it was made of a burning material that you needed to get rid off, and fast.

He grabbed that from you, but as he was closing the door, your arm remained in place.

"I'm childish but you brought like two packs of condoms for this trip?" you said accusingly, and he could hear your smirk, as if you finally had something to hit him with.

"Don't flatter yourself, I didn't know I'd end up with you" he said as he pulled his boxers up and opened the door once again. "Is this less offensive than the towel?"

He was close - closer than you had expected - and though he hid his own surprise at seeing you at the doorframe, he couldn't deny that he didn't exactly measure the consequences of not checking where exactly you were before opening the door so fast.

His chest was close to yours, so close part of him almost felt as if you were touching, the proximity making him feel unbelievably taller than you, though he was sure the difference couldn't be that big.

You tried not to stare. Really, you were trying really hard. But he was so close to you he occupied your entire line of vision, his pale skin appearing so smooth in front of yours, contrasting with the dark color of his underwear - that you unconsciously had picked.

He towered over you, head low so he could look at you in the eyes, though the view wasn't particularly bad from up there. Your pajama top was loose - too loose - in your frame and your shorts were the very definition of the word.

"You wanting to sleep with me would be an insult" you said, moving away from the doorframe so he could pass, though he didn't move, merely crossed his arms across his chest, muscles tensing slightly at that. "And sure. It's an improvement" you continued, staring him up and down - taking his frame in but disguising the act as disdain.

Max's head leaned to the right, a smirk growing on his lips as he realized he got you for a second time. Nonchalantly, eyebrows raised, he decided to act.

"That's not what you said a year ago." There. He had you. And while before this bickering came from a place of anger and hatred, he was growing increasingly more amused at how you matched his own pace.

"Yeah, but that was before you opened your mouth" you retorted, focusing hard - too hard - on his face and not on his body, though it did not help either. His hair was messy and slightly damp from the shower, and his stubble had grown in a way you could only describe as attractive - not perfectly shaved but not entirely messy either.

He bit his lip then, mostly because he knew what to say to you after your words and was trying not to smile. Also because you had admitted to feeling attracted to him, even if only physically, which added to his confidence as he stared at you and ran his eyes down your body. "What's wrong with my mouth?"

You were dumbfounded for a few seconds, mouth opened at the ridiculousness of his comment, what it implied and the line it had crossed. "You're such a piece of shit" you said, while his grin grew to his eyes.

"You want me" he sounded so matter of factly, as if he had commented on the weather or said the sky was blue.

"I hate you."

"Never said you didn't" Max took a step forward towards you, and you found yourself unable to walk away. Something about his deviance pulled you in, and part of your brain told you you could leave, though another tried to convince you you were only staying because this was your room, after all.

"Then how could I possibly want you?" you asked, though it was more directed at yourself than at him this time.

He looked away then, as if the answer was obvious, his body moving closer to you but never touching you, both decreasing and increasing the distance between the both of you.

"You want me but I'm a piece of shit. And that's why you hate me. Because you know, deep down, you still want me to fuck you" as he said this, he moved away, almost as if the conversation had never happened, though it had, just now.

"I don't want you anywhere near me" you tried to sound assertive but part of your voice had failed by how taken aback you were, still wondering if you had imagined his words.

He stopped and turned to you once again, battling his own brain on whether or not he should push you a bit further.

"Define near" he said, as he walked closely towards you, like a predator slowly approaching its prey, defying them.

Your chest rose and fell as he moved, and you found yourself unable to tell him that that was near enough, mostly because it wasn't, not even close.

The back of your legs hit the bed - his bed - and you fell backwards, sitting on it as he moved as close as he could towards you. "Is this near for you?" he asked, though his tone had changed into something darker, raspier and more filled with lust than flirt.

You swallowed, refusing to break eye contact, aware of how you looking up at him provided a view for himself as well.

"Who wants who now, huh?" you asked teasingly, a smile spread across your lips as you noticed his body tensing up - with a bit of anger but maybe a bit of arousal too.

"Is this wanting you?" he asked back, finding your language had moved from insult to rhetoric, questions that needn't answer - not when he could see your eyes shining as they looked up at you from your eyelashes, not as he saw you crossing your legs despite your attempts at discreetness.

You shrugged at his question, not wanting to back down on your claim but also not wanting to give him the chance to refute it.

His hand cupped your face with firmness, holding your stare as he lowered himself towards you, bringing his lips close to yours, so close you felt his skin brushing against yours although he broke away before you could indulge in his initiative.

"What about this?" he asked, testing you now, though he knew the answer himself, felt it in his body as his boxers felt tight against his erection.

"I'm still unsure" you replied, and as if awaiting for that sign to keep going, Max exhaled and ran his hands through your bare thighs, pinching softly at them, causing you to hiss and giggle from his contact.

"Do I have to keep asking?" it was his time now to look up at you, something close to desperation rubbing at him as he knelt between your legs.

"Not if you admit it" you leaned to kiss him, to - admittedly - give him some kind of upper hand, though you weren't sure if you were playing anymore, not as his tongue hungrily explored your mouth, so desperate it was almost sloppy yet so warm and arousing and fulfilling.

"Fucking hell you're stubborn" he managed to let out during the brief instances where you weren't pulling his neck towards you, making sure his lips remained on yours.

His body moved on top of yours as you laid down in his bed, his hips pressing against yours as you felt his cock against you, a moan escaping your lips and a sigh leaving his at the contact.

"Is this, huh?" he asked again, mouth now moving to your neck, kissing it so lightly you shivered, only to bite you afterwards, the sensations overwhelming you with need for him.

Your body felt hot, burning intensely; and Max's body against yours only fueled that, his voice making you feel more than you wanted to admit even to yourself.

You wanted him to feel like you were feeling in that moment - unaware he was already as on the edge of completely losing himself as you were. So you held his hand with yours and brought it in between your legs, allowing him to get his response.

Max had to steady himself. Really, part of his brain froze and only his body worked, mouth watering as he felt how wet you were, mind going completely foggy at the fact that you had done it, at how hot what your simple gesture had been - at how strongly he reacted to it.

His cock was so tight in his boxers it felt almost painful, especially when he knew how comfortable he could be, inside you, feeling your entire body react to him and him alone.

However, he craved to drive you mad as well, convinced you would probably lose your minds together in that hotel room. "Use your words" he said, pulling your shorts down in order to get better access to you.

His fingers teased you gently, brushing over your entrance and pulling away just as you were ready to take them. "Tell me, is this wanting you?" he insisted, his voice breathy and hoarse.

You wished you could answer, could say more than his name which came across as a whine for more of him inside you. It took all your strength to focus, on winning, on seeing him crumble before your eyes, losing his composure which was so so close to fall apart.

You bit your lip while staring at his eyes - once so bright but now so dark, so filled with something you hadn't seen in him before - and took him completely by surprise as you ran your hand across his erection through the fabric of his underwear.

Max closed his eyes and his eyebrows were now close together in an almost frown. "Fuck" were the words he let out as he dropped his head.

"Admit it" you demanded, not only because you wanted to win but because you couldn't wait any longer - you felt empty, his teasing frustrating you to no end.

Without warning, his fingers dipped inside you, filling that emptiness, even if just slightly. He moved them painfully slowly, savoring every inch of your moans as you kept your hand on his hard cock.

You could feel its length and thickness, making your mouth water at the mere thought of having it inside you. You started moving your hips against his fingers, craving more of the pleasure, more of him.

Max was just observing you at that point, how desperate you were for him, how beautiful you looked with flushed cheeks and swollen lips with barely anything being done to you yet.

"I would never admit something like that" his words contrasted so much with his thoughts, but he knew one fed the other both for you and him, this back and forth the main reason why you both felt an incessant pull towards one another.

"You're ridiculous" you managed to reply, though the words came out muffled and confusing, earning you a chuckle in response.

"You're being fucked stupid and I'm ridiculous?" he asked, grinning as he used a hand to removed his boxers, freeing his erection. You couldn't help but whimper at the sight, the sheer anticipation of what was to come, at the opportunity to having him buried inside you.

However, letting him win this easily wasn't something you were willing to do - and though your mind was cloudy and your judgment blurred, you stood on your elbows, face almost touching his. Your hand caressed his tensed arm which kept its movement inside you, and he couldn't help but look at your contact.

You tilted your head, biting your lip as you stared at his face - the desperate attempt at remaining composed, the rosy cheeks and disheveled hair, lips wet and eyes so dark they looked almost black.

"Who's stupid now?" you asked, hot breath against his neck. He could hide many things, but he couldn't control the goosebumps spreading across his entire body, he couldn't hide the way his shoulders tensed even more, how his throat bobbed up and down as he swallowed.

This was thrilling. Maybe too thrilling, if such thing existed. He thought of the painting, of the colours spread across the canvas and somehow, in that moment, that seemed to increase every emotion he was feeling, and he had to close his eyes to control himself and steady his breath.

He had to keep it going. He knew he had to - he knew this was precisely what he wanted, to drive you insane, to keep the tension running across both of you until one exploded.

So he removed his hand from where it was - so comfortable, so hard inside you - and he could see you pout slightly before returning to your previous cold attitude. "You want me to stop, I'll stop" he said, climbing fully on top of the bed, both hands on either side of your head, hovering above you.

"I never said that" you bit back, though it was hard to focus as he started leaving trails of kisses on your neck, going down to your chest, and on your navel, biting your shirt and pulling it - removing the last layer of clothing you possessed.

"Then what do you want?" he asked, face in between your thighs, just above where you wanted him to be buried. Max's grin didn't hide the fact that he knew exactly the answer to this - but, just like you, he was stubborn, loving to hear the words escape your lips, to know that you wanted him to ruin you completely.

His hand now caressed your thigh, fingers softly moving up and down, drawing invisible nothings on your skin.

You fought against your will to just say it, although you wanted to give it up and just admit it. As if reading your thoughts, his eyes pierced yours with amusement as his cheek rested against your thigh, stubble scratching your skin pleasurably. "We don't have all night, sweetheart" he whispered.

The nickname caused your heart to race, but what came out of your mouth was a scoff, arrogance still coating your actual feelings despite the situation you were both in. "You're just as desperate as I am" you told him, lifting your right leg to caress his bag with your foot.

"Desperate for what, hm?" he asked, biting the inside of your thigh as he climbed back up, facing you.

"To fuck me" you finally replied, knowing it was less of an admition and more of a dare.

"Is that what you want me to do? To fuck you?" the question was rhetorical, almost mocking, but at that moment you didn't quite care. Not when the tip of his cock rubbed against you, not when he tried so hard to steady his breath.

You could only nod, carnal insticts getting the best out of you. That was all he needed to let himself go, to let go of all restraints previously holding him back - if there were any.

He sinked inside you slowly, as if to prolong your pain and your pleasure simultaneously, savoring your reactions - your whine of pleasure, your closed eyes and teeth biting your lip, your eyebrows furrowed. You felt and looked so good it took all of his strength to focus on being the stronger, composed person in the room - something he never struggled this hard to achieve.

He dropped his head low, his forehead against yours as he steadied himself. "Fuck" he managed to say, along with a loud exhale. "You feel so fucking good" he continued, words leaving his mouth almost impulsively.

"Then don't stop, Max" you demanded, almost aggressively, as your body ached for more of him.

He pulled himself almost fully out and slammed back inside you, harder now, making you let out a loud whine - one which you rapidly covered by placing your hands over your mouth.

He kept going, hips slamming against yours with a steady rhythm as you uhmed in pleasure, eyes teary already as they rolled to the back of your head.

He wanted to hear you. In fact, he wanted to know others could hear you, hear how good he was making you feel, hear how his cock drove you absolutely insane. With an assertive movement, his hand grabbed yours and pulled it away from your mouth, then held your cheeks tightly as he made you look at him.

"Don't cover your mouth" he ordered, hungrily, feeling you tighten around him as he said it. "Let everyone hear how well you take it" he continued, speeding up his pace and laying on top of you as you wrapped your hands around his waist, caging him.

"F-fuck, Max" you started, unable to resist much longer, feeling his hot body against yours, your hands pulling his hair as he moved almost animalistically, so focused on your sounds he could only get off to them.

"You sound so pretty" Max growled, close to exploding as well. "So fucking hot" he continued, and you had to bury your teeth in his shoulder to keep yourself from screaming - all you could let out was his name as you felt him inside you, and his hips rolled against you, unmatched amounts of pleasure running through you.

"I'm so close, Max, I'm so close" you said, not realizing how often his name was being uttered by you, how it seemed like one of the few words you had left to say.

Driven to a state of total lack of control, Max let moans escape his own lips, his animal vulnerability resulting in your own orgasm.

Feelings you tighten and pulsing around his cock was the tipping point for him, as his body shuddered, pulling himself out of you as fast as he could.

“Open your mouth” he said, gesturing at you to sit back. You did as he demanded, still drunk from your orgasm, still completely at his mercy, and he came finally, warm come filling your mouth.

The view was Max’s dream come true - your mouth wide open and filled with him, so obediently taking his orders and so beautifully contrasting with your previous attitude. 

“Now swallow” he said, tapping your cheeks slightly with his hand as you closed your mouth and did as he said, the slightly salty flavour filling your tastebuds.

You laid down on his bed, exhausted and completely fulfilled, while also dizzy with the amount of emotions running through your head. You closed your eyes, but felt and heard him laying down next to you, his arm brushing yours shyly now. 

“Was that close enough?” he asked.

[wilwheaton]

the scorpion doesn’t care who it stings

I posted this on my Facebook four days ago, and it seems to have taken on a life of its own for a minute.

I thought I’d repost it, here:

I can not fathom the emptiness, the insecurity, the insatiable need for attention and validation, the staggering arrogance, the malevolence and total void of human experience that is Elon Musk.

He's the richest man on the planet. You can't go anywhere or do anything without interacting with something he's part of in some way. There are literal millions of people who uncritically worship him, in spite of overwhelming evidence that he's a douchebag. Some number of them will come after me, as they come after anyone who points at their naked emperor. They'll spend entire days going after me and people like me, slavishly serving a man who does not even know they exist. They are his army of fools, uncritically serving his every whim. And it still isn't enough.

He can have any material thing he wants, and he will *never* be happy or satisfied. He has no real friends. Every single person around him is either a viper, a parasite, or both.

So what does he do? He bullies and threatens and harasses and trolls and behaves like the weak, scared, insecure child he has always been. That's a tragedy for him, but it's dangerous for us. He doesn't care what he destroys or who he hurts as he chases this existential thing he cannot ever have.

You know the saying "hurt people hurt people"? He's a hurt person who is hurting our society, making people I care about less safe. The consequences of this one man's midlife crisis are global, and that terrifies me.

In a comment, about an hour later, I added:

You know what's really interesting is the tiny number of people who are attacking and harassing me are either typical right wing idiots who all spew the same garbage from behind their wraparound sunglasses, or these weird nerds who are DESPERATE to justify how toxic and cruel and destructive Elon Musk is. Like, nerds, listen to Old Man Wheaton, please. 

Don't hitch your wagon to Elon Musk. There are countless people who are amazing and genuinely good, who do all the things we wish we could do. Stop defending this piece of shit who would push you into a volcano without even learning your name, if it would save him half a second on his way to his next shitpost on $8Chan (formerly known as Twitter).He doesn't stand up to anyone. He doesn't stand up FOR anyone. He is not your champion. He's angry and chaotic and destructive, and you have to understand that the scorpion doesn't care who it stings.

Finally, I want to add two things: 1) It’s interesting to me that a lot of the people who came to my post to be dicks used a lot of MAGA language. It reminds me of this thing my friend says about concerts: the audience looks like the band. Of course there’s substantial overlap between the angry, hateful, terrified, cowards who support Trump and the same who Stan Elon Musk, and it’s real interesting to see it in action.

2) I haven’t used Twitter for years. I quit before it was popular (lol) because it was better for my mental health. I logged in once when my book was published, and I deleted all my tweets when he announced he was buying Twitter. When he took over and immediately amplified a conspiracy theorist, I made my account private. In a perfect world, I would delete my account entirely. But I have to keep it for reasons I hope I don’t have to explain. After I posted this on Facebook, it made its way around Twitter (still is, four days later, which is ... a thing that is happening) and when people went to look at my account, they saw that it was closed. As much of a fucking manbaby Elon Musk clearly is, he didn’t do anything to my account. In fact, the only reason he even knows I exist (if he does) is through a vanity search of his name. I locked my account on my own, and so should you.

I am only on:

Tumblr

Facebook (itswilwheaton)

Instagram (itswilwheaton)

and my blog that I’ve been neglecting for too long at wilwheaton.net.

I’ve had a Reddit account since 2006, predating user-created subs! I’m u/wil there.

Okay that’s all. Thanks for listening. Please choose to be kind.

[nightprompts]

&. 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.

( dialogue  prompts  taken  from the script of  everything  everywhere  all  at  once  (2022),  directed  by  daniel  kwan  and  daniel  scheinert.  feel  free  to  edit  and  change  as  you  seem  fit. )

❛ you look really pretty right now. ❜

❛ stop changing the subject. ❜

❛ every day i fight, i fight for all of us. ❜

❛ what are you doing? what is wrong? ❜

❛ if i have to think about one more thing today, my head will explode. ❜

❛ you may be in grave danger. there is no time to explain.❜

❛ we can make our own way. please, come with me. ❜

❛ don't even talk to me about this because i won't remember.❜

❛ i am not your husband. at least not the one you know. i am another version of him from another life path, another universe. ❜

❛ i’m here because we need your help.❜

❛ sorry, very busy today. no time to help you– ❜

❛ all those years of searching have brought me here. to this universe. to you. ❜

❛ i’m here to tell you every rejection, every disappointment has led you here. to this moment. ❜

❛ i'm not ready to fight yet. ❜

❛ maybe we don't have a choice. ❜

❛ now, you can either come with me and live up to your ultimate potential, or lie here and live with the consequences. ❜

❛ i... want to lie here. ❜

❛ how often do people literally die laughing? ❜

❛ my husband won't even kill a spider. how are you the same person? ❜

❛ we are talking about infinity. if you can imagine it, somewhere out there, it exists. ❜

❛ how did i die? ❜

❛ i've seen you die a thousand ways. in a thousand worlds. in every single one, you were murdered. ❜

❛ what!? who wants me dead? ❜

❛ you’ve been feeling it too, haven’t you? something is off. your clothes never wear as well the next day, your hair never falls in quite the same way, even your coffee tastes... wrong. ❜

❛ maybe we would have been better off if we had never gotten married. ❜

❛ i never said that. ❜

❛ you didn’t have to. it’s the way you look at me. ❜

❛ can’t you see it? how wonderful it would be if you came with me? ❜

❛ i saw my life without you. i wish you could have seen it. it was beautiful. ❜

❛ shhh, you're not thinking straight. ❜

❛ what is worse than death? ❜

❛ i saw your face on a billboard and — this is silly — i wondered if you remembered me... ❜

❛ is it that i can’t be here, or that i’m not allowed to be here? ❜

❛ there is no good, there is no evil. there is only “goovil”. ❜

❛ if you can imagine it, you have fucked it. ❜

❛ do not be so closed minded that you blind yourself from the truth! ❜

❛ don’t make me fight you. i am really really good. ❜

❛ you're capable of anything because you're so bad at everything. ❜

❛ you can't remember anything because your bodies were under the control of other universes. ❜

❛ you were like puppets. and you could do things you normally can't do. you were like, what's that movie... raccaccoonie? ❜

❛ how can you defeat her in every universe, if you can't even kill her in one? ❜

❛ the sacrifices necessary to win this war... i know all too well. ❜

❛ i cannot lose another loved one to the darkness. ❜

❛ i know you have feelings. feelings that make you so sad. that make you just want to give up. that is not your fault. ❜

❛ i'll see you again soon, somewhere out there in all that noise. ❜

❛ just think happy thoughts. ❜

❛ you okay? caught you staring off into space again. ❜

❛ i'm the one you've been looking for. ❜

❛ i’m the one who will defeat you. ❜

❛ you’re finally free, like me. ❜

❛ you don't have to choose anymore. between loving me or hating me. you can do both at the same time. ❜

❛ before, you were asking about "our daughter". it's crazy, but it really got me thinking. what if you had come with me all of those years ago? ❜

❛ all of this time, i wasn't looking for someone who could defeat me. i was looking for someone who could see what i see, feel what i feel... ❜

❛ oh, good, you're here too. ❜

❛ i'm sorry about ruining everything, i– ❜

❛ we're all stupid. small stupid little humans. it's like our whole deal. ❜

❛ everything is going to be okay. ❜

❛ you think i’m weak don’t you? ❜

❛ when we first fell in love all of those years ago, your father would say i was too sweet for my own good. maybe he was right. ❜

❛ please! can we just stop fighting! ❜

❛ you tell me that it's a cruel world and we're all just running around in circles. i know that. i've been on this earth just as many days as you. ❜

❛ the only thing i do know is we have to be kind. be kind. especially, when we don't know what's going on. ❜

❛ i know you go through life with your fists held tight. you see yourself as a fighter. well, i see myself as one too. this is how i fight. ❜

❛ in another life, i would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you. ❜

❛ you know what i say? cold, hysterical, unlovable bitches like us make the world go round. ❜

❛ you aren’t unlovable. there is always something to love. ❜

❛ even in a stupid, stupid universe where we have hot dogs for fingers, we’d all be very good with our feet! ❜

❛ in a universe where we both agree that no one could love you, if we look hard enough, something will prove us wrong. ❜

❛ we are all useless alone. so its good you're not alone. ❜

❛ maybe you win in this universe. but in another, i beat you. or we tie. or we eat crepes. ❜

❛ i don't want to hurt anymore. and for some reason when i'm with you, it hurts both of us. ❜

❛ out of all of the places i could be, why would i want to be here with you? ❜

❛ i still want to be here with you. i will always want to be here with you. ❜

❛ i will cherish these few specks of time. ❜

[k1ngpin42]

pls can u write sub abby? thank u ❤️❤️❤️

ofc :) Here you go.

𝓢𝓾𝓫𝓶𝓲𝓼𝓼𝓲𝓿𝓮 𝓐𝓫𝓫𝔂

Warnings: Oral (giving), public, fingering, restraints, thigh riding, scissoring, hickeys, v!brator 

Your relationship with Abby had been mostly smooth flowing. The heat when the two of you were in the same room would be enough to light an island on fire. However, you two would fight sometimes. Whether it was one too many early days, one too many late nights or one too many days of having fucked up things happen, the consequences would involve driving either one of you insane, an insanity that you would take out on each other. 

This fight was different though, it was the longest you had gone without speaking during your entire relationship thus far. You had done something risky on patrol to protect yourself and the others in your group and almost died in the process. Instead of Abby welcoming you back, saying “I’m so happy you’re not dead, my love.” She yelled at you, said some really mean things, the underlining message being that she didn’t trust you to go out without her. 

Not only this, but rather than simply not talking, Abby would constantly act petty and arrogant. She flirted with some guy in the gym in front of you, she took your favourite weapon on her assignment, she messed up the apartment, she started rumours about you, and whenever you tried to apologise or approach her about it, she’d ice you out. You didn’t understand why she was doing this. What the fuck was wrong with her? You risk YOUR life and SHE’S mad?? It just doesn’t fucking add up.

You decide to just ignore her for once and instead of heading back to your apartment, you go to the bar instead.

“I’ll get vodka please, just give me like 5 shots.” You explain to the bartender, a blonde guy on duty who you were somewhat friends with.

“You got the machine parts you owe me?” He teased. You stare at him blankly.

“Dude, I’m ordering 5 shots of vodka, today is not the day.” He sighs and grabs the glasses, pouring the clear liquid into each. 

You turn your head at the sound of that smooth voice you so love. It was Abby. Was she following you now?

You turn your head away before she can face you and instead you face the bartender, leaning in to him.

“Please go along with this for me.” You whisper. He looks confused but complies.

“Oh my god your hair is SO soft…” You say, playing with the top layers of his hair. He nods

“I got something that isn’t soft.” He says, and you need to physically restrain yourself from laughing.

It’s convincing enough for Abby, though, who disregards the conversation she’s having and walks over to you, sitting next to you at the bar. You ignore her, continuing to “flirt” with the man.

“You really gonna make me pay for these drinks?” You ask him with doe eyes. He shakes his head, leaning in to you.

“You can pay me in a different way.” Abby stands up harshly. 

“Back the fuck up, she’s with me.” Abby spits. He goes over to some other people and pours them drinks, not wanting to be involved further.

“The fuck I am, you haven’t spoken to me in nearly a month.” You tell her. She lets out a deep sigh followed by a desperate and crooked smile.

“I uh…guess I was kind of a dick, huh?”

“Abby…you made me feel like shit. In fact, leave me alone, I was having a nice conversation before you arrived.”

“Oh please, he’s not your type.” Abby says simply. You shove her, getting off your chair. 

“Like you’d fucking know.”

“He’s a man, baby, there’s no way he can please you like I can.”

“Hmm, well. I guess we’ll see.” You say with a confident smirk as you approach the blonde gentlemen again. Abbys face shifts into panic mode as she stumbles towards you, grabbing your wrist.

“Wait, wait, please…please I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

“Talk. Why the fuck have you been such a prick?”

“I don’t know. I guess it was easier than…admitting how fucking scared I was. You could have died and it pissed me off, I have a right to be mad when you do reckless things.”

“No. You would have done the same, don’t give me that bullshit.” You turn away again.

“Wait I- I love you.” She says. You feel heat warm your cheeks and neck, but you say nothing, you just dwell in this feeling for a while. Then, finally, you face her.

🎀𝓼𝓶𝓾𝓽🎀

“Come with me.” You direct her out into a hall and slam her against the wall with your full body strength. She lets out a surprised gasp and you immediately shove your tongue into her throat. It’s only several minutes later when you’re both gasping for air that you pull away.

“You were such an idiot Abby. I’m going to teach you to talk to me next time you have a problem.” She nods, eyes still on the floor. You get down on your knees and she anxiously looks around. You just smirk confidently. “There’s people….” Abby breathes out. You get back up to her height and tilt your head, unimpressed.

“Did I say you could talk?” She shakes her head and you return to your knees, pulling her pants down to her ankles. You suck on the soft part between her muscles on her large thighs, leaving a purple mark in its wake. 

“Got something to say to me?” You ask her, looking up into her blue eyes. She exhales, sharply. 

“I…ugh, fuck….I’m sorry.” 

“Oh yeah? How much?” You ask, pulling her underwear down too. She lets out a deep, shaky breath.

“I’m so-“

“Don’t tell me. Show me.” You command, inserting a finger roughly into her and then tonguing in between her folds. She lets out a moan which was unmistakably stifled. You stop and stand up again.

“The fuck was that?” You ask, harshly. She looks embarrassed. 

“I know I deserve this it’s just…there’s people around-“

“You’re right, you do deserve this, and in case I wasn’t clear before, if you don’t do what I say I’ll stop, and that will be a worse fate for you than any of these insignificant losers hearing how good I fuck you.” 

Abby is speechless at your words. In any regular context, she could pin you down with one hand and fuck you with the other, making you cum in only a matter of moments. This wasn’t anything like that. It was intimate in a way she almost didn’t recognise. The craving for each other’s touch was second to no other desire in the world, the possessiveness and clear control you had over her, the control she let you have, it was turning her on in ways she didn’t expect and that her brain couldn’t fully comprehend. And now you were licking, sucking and spitting on her cunt while that one fucking finger explores her tight hole. What a fucking tease, tasting her like it’s the best thing you’ll ever taste and all while only a few footsteps away from other WLFS.

“S’ good baby~ oh fuck…” She moans, her voice deep. You smile into her cunt, increasing the pace as you circle her clit with your tongue. It felt good to have her back, that girl made you feel crazy in the best way possible.

“Mmmph…mm so…close” You remove your tongue and add another finger, circling the upper walls of her cunt. She lets out a small whimper, so quiet you almost didn’t hear it. Abby certainly wished you didn’t, cause you were definitely gonna tease her about it later.

“Aw, close already baby? Who knew you were so easy to please?” She rolls her eyes.

“Shut- Mmmm” She lets out a pornographic moan when you insert a third finger into her throbbing pussy. 

“You’re not in control of me today. In fact, you belong to me, say it.”

“N…o” Abby tried, her eyes rolling back along with her head. Your thrusting becomes harder.

“Don’t make me ask you again.”

“O-okay okay fuck…I belong to yo-” You put your tongue in her one final time and it’s all it takes to push her over the edge. 

“mmm!” She cums harshly, gripping onto your hair as she does so. Instead of letting her revel in the sensation and watching her face as she returns to reality, you keep the pressure on her, your pace relentless. 

“What are you d- oh my f— fuck stop st- mmmmm oh fuck-“ She cries, bucking her hips into you and consequently thrusting her cunt further into your mouth. Her back arches and her moans are getting louder now.

“OH F- fuck baby stop I’m so f-fucking sensitive-“ You didn’t give a fuck. The sounds she made when your tongue and your tongue alone explored and pleasured her in ways no one else could was like ecstasy and you could get drunk off the sound of it. 

“MMM PLEASE PL- mmm” Abby whined. You really did love her too, but she didn’t need to know that quite yet. 

“I-I…” You want to laugh. Abby fucking Anderson, WLF soldier, bulkier and stronger than most men, whimpering over her pussy getting licked by a girl. It was cute, adorable really.

“Gonna c-“ She couldn’t finish that sentence, didn’t need to, you could tell from the way her muscles tensed, how her thighs pressed against your face and glistening slick poured onto it.

“Mmm…” Abby hums as she cums a second time, her swollen cunt not getting a break. 

You decide to go up this time, after all you would probably require oxygen at some point. This wasn’t going to stop here though.

“Bedroom.” Is all you say as you shove her back and make your way to your room, letting her swiftly pull her pants back up and gather herself before making her way past the main hall to the dorms. Almost everyone looked at the two of you and were actively avoiding eye contact. Fuck, they definitely heard.

You both hurried to the room and you jump on her, pushing her back onto the bed. You kiss her passionately, the taste of Abby lingering in both of your mouths. 

“Stay here and take all your shit off.” You say, turning away from the awe-struck Abby. She’s not sure whether to be impressed, embarrassed, turned on or all 3, but she does as you say, removing her shoes, shirt, jeans and already drenched underwear. You walk over to her bag and grab out a metal pair of handcuffs. She’s gonna look so fucking good in them, you can’t help but think.

You walk over to her, not showing her the handcuffs yet. She’s wearing your favourite one of her bras and you can’t help but admire her. 

“Put your arms up.” You say. Her large, muscular fucking arms.

When she does this, you grab her hands and pull them down, putting the handcuffs on her tightly and  cuffing her to the bed frame. Fuck, she was a site for sore eyes.

She looks beyond shocked as she moves her arm, trying to see if she was really constrained. 

“Remember the safe word?” You ask. She rolls her eyes.

“This is so fucking embarrassing.” 

“Do you want me or not?”

“…yes.” Abby admits. You smile, sitting on her hips.

“Then let me take you the way I want.” You say, sucking on her stomach and leaving a silky trail of saliva over her chest. Then, you unclip her bra, throwing it onto the floor. Your eyes widen at the side of her soft tits and hard nipples, just waiting eagerly to be sucked. You do so and she lets out a gasp.

“Mmnn” You keep going, running circles of her nipples. Then, you move down to the lower part of her breast and suck so hard it leaves a pretty red mark there. 

“So pretty for me.” You  say, and she’s to embarrassed to reply.

You grab a vibrator from the side table, it’s a pretty, pink, rechargeable one that you always used when Abby wasn’t around. She gasps at the site of it and tries to free herself from the cuffs and you just smile at her efforts. You put the lower part into her and rest the top part on her clit. You turn it on medium pulse and stand up, taking off your pants but leaving your panties on, They’re pretty, pink lace ones that Abby would ordinarily rip from your body with her teeth. The now defenceless Abby, however, watched you, entranced and desperate as you position yourself on her thigh, wrapping your arms around her neck and moving yourself slowly up and down her thigh.

“Take them off….” Abby sighs, not wanting to admit to you or herself how good the vibrator felt. You start sucking on her neck as hard as you can while still moving your hips on her thigh.

“Where are your manners Abs?” You tease. She sighs again. 

“Please?” You take off your shirt, revealing a matching bra. She leans over to kiss them but is returned to the reality of her restraints. Deciding to tease her further, you suck on her breasts again, adding a matching mark to her other tit. She looks infuriated, like she would rail the shit out of you if she could. But she can’t, and that made it so much better.

“Oh fuck~” Abby moans quietly, enjoying the vibrators pulse. You put your hand inside her and turn up the setting and she’s immediately crying out.

“Fuck, fuck wait p-please.” 

“You didn’t talk to me for a month.” You say, rolling your hips over her thighs. Fuck it felt good, too.

“Sorry.” Abby breathes out as the vibrator danced inside her. You lean in more so the top part of your clit can really savour its favourite sex toy, her muscular thighs.

“You flirted with a man at the gym”

“You flirted with a man at the…oh f-fuck…the bar…” She says. She put a hand on her throat, squeezing tightly. 

“The only word out of your mouth should be sorry, or had you forgotten.”

“Sorry….” She moans. You’re pretty close now too and you keep moving up and down.

“You messed up the apartment.” You exclaim and Abbys eyes shut tight.

“I’m gonna-“

“Shut the fuck up. You made me feel like an idiot.”

“S—sorr-oh god.” Abby cries, and the sight of her cum dripping out of her pussy was picture worthy, something you would never forget.

You don’t turn it off though, not yet, and now she’s whimpering in a way you were sure would give you and eargasm. 

“You’re so sexy in cuffs Abigail.” You say, and the flustered, bulky woman squirms.

“God Abby hold still.” You say, putting all your body pressure onto her thigh to stop her movements as you thrust up on her thigh, letting yourself orgasm too. After about another minute of her whimpering, you finally turn off the vibrator, holding her face and kissing it.

“F…forgive me now?” She asks. You think for a second, but there’s one more thing you still have to try.

“Almost.” You say, taking off your underwear and bra. She doesn’t have the chance to speak even if she could.

“Need to feel all of you. You explain, putting your legs over hers and positioning your clits together.

“It’s too soon we just-“ 

“You’ve got one more in you Abby, I know it.” You comfort her as you start rocking your hips. She lets out a low grumble sound and moves her head back, her long, soft braid falling over her shoulder. 

“What was that thing you said before?” You ask over her pretty little moans. She’s flushing crimson at this point.

“You’re asking n…now mm~” She lets out. You moan too, fuck it felt amazing, you could feel the combined heat and wetness, you could hear the sweet sounds, it wouldn’t be long now.

“Mmm fucking say I-it….” You moan, gripping onto one of her biceps. 

“L…love you” She whimpers. You move faster.

“I…fuck I love you.” She breathes. Faster. “I….fucking….love….you” She manages as every inch of her fades away and you are left with just the feeling of your sweat and cum soaked bodies. You grab the key from beside you and unlock the cuffs, smiling at her.

“Well you could have just said that, I love you too.” You mock. She rolls her eyes, pinning you down below her. 

“You are fucking trouble.” She says, kissing you passionately. 

[the-soliloquies-of-sadists]

#368

“Where are you off to?...  The mall?  Well, your friends will need to wait.  We have something to talk about. 

“I have looked after your step-dad, my brother, for his entire life, and I have gotten to know your ma just these past few years.  I trust Doyle with my life.  So when he and your ma ask a favor to have you live with me while they work out their problems, I can’t say no.  I told them that I don’t expect any problems from you.  And they assured me that you are a good boy and that you would follow my rules.  Well, after a long twelve-hour day at the job site, I want to relax with a Scotch Whisky and a nice Macanudo cigar.  Well, imagine my surprise that the bottle of Johnnie Walker, that I opened earlier this week, is well over half gone.  I know how much I drink; that bottle would last me a month and a half at least.  Care to explain?... 

“Well Vinny, don’t ever insult my intelligence again.  That is a battle you will never win.  You drank my Scotch.  Now you have to deal with the consequences. 

“C’mere!...  I said ‘Come here!’  Lay your sorry ass across my lap; you’re getting a good old fashioned ass whooping. 

“…I don’t give a shit that you turned 18 only a few months ago.  You ain’t too old to be put in your place….  Don’t you dare head to the door….

“…I told you not to underestimate me.  Hold still.  I was a state champion wrestler in High School.  I was also a cop before my heart problems.  I know how to take down a bitch like you.  Quit squirming.  Let’s get these sweatpants off you….  Going commando, hunh? 

“…What?  Don’t have something stupid to say?  It’s time for you to pay for your fuck up.  This is a nice ass.  So smooth and pale pink.  Too bad I have to welt it up.

“That’s one.  One of twenty… on each cheek.  Two…  Three…  Now this cheek.  Fuck yeah.  My hand is going to be sore for a while, but I don’t care.  Six.  Seven.  You are starting to go red here.  Boy you got a hot ass!  Ha! Literally it’s very warm. 

“Your crack needs some color….  What the fuck?  You are wet in your crack.  It doesn't stink.  Fuck!  This is lube!  What the fuck?...

“Ha! You were going commando to the mall in sweatpants and your ass is lubed up?  No, you have something lined up to get fucked.  Ha! Ha!

“And I bet…  Don’t try to fight me on this, you have enough lube here for me to easily glide in my finger… like this.  Oooh, there’s your prostate.... I can tell you are cleaned out.

“So, let’s start this conversation over.  Stand up….  I thought that’s what I felt.  Your pecker is hard from you being spanked.  Ha!  I love it.  Look I am totally fine with you being a sperm burper.  Fuck, get laid whenever you want.  So want to tell me where you were really going?

“Have a hook up?  That’s nice.  Is it from one of those apps?...  Let me see his profile….  Give me your phone….  Which app was it?...  Let me see.  This him?...  So you like 43-year-olds?  That’s cool.  I’m a little bit older than that.

“Oh, your chat with him is interesting.  Very interesting….  So you like sucking on ‘Daddy’s toes?’  This is fucking great…. Quit protesting.  I do love it… all of it.  I love that you are rock hard. 

“I’m gonna let you in on a little secret.  I am rock hard too.  Yeah, I’ve played with boys before. 

“Here let me take it out for you.  Boy you got me leaking.  Grab a hold of it.  It’s a sizeable piece hunh?...  I see you licking your lips.

“Shut up….  One moment….  There!  I just sent him a message saying that you are going to be twenty to thirty minutes late because your uncle needs some help unloading some things.

“On the bed….  I don’t give a shit.  You got me hard; you are going to take care of it.  I want that red ass of yours.  Atta boy.

“Spread your legs as far as you can.  Just lay there.  I prefer when my holes don’t move around.  And if you can, don’t moan.  Just be the hole you are destined to be.

“Fuck!  It is like silk in here.  I am going to enjoy using this hole daily….  I said don’t say anything.  You live in my house with a hole I can fuck, you better believe I’m going to beat and breed this hole.  You got that?  Beat and breed.  Beat and breed.  I hope your mouth is as good as this pussy hole of yours.  If not, I’ll train ya right.

“Oh man, I’m gonna cum.  I’m gonna flood your guts.  Here it cums.  Here it fucking cums.  Get ready boy.  Uhhh!  Fuuuuuck!  Hell yeah!  Fuck!  Goddamn!  Fuck!

“Goddamn!  I love your ass.  Clamp down as I pull out.  Fuck yeah.  I can tell this isn’t your first fuck….  Don’t worry, I won’t tell your ma or my brother.  They don’t need to know. 

“Get up.  Clean me off….  What?  Look at my cock.  It needs to be cleaned up.  Get your mouth on my dick now.  Don’t question me on this….  Atta boy.  You are going to learn that living here requires you to follow my rules.  Rule one, you are getting beat then seeded when I want.  Rule two, you clean me up after yourself.  My cock rules this house and those in it.

“Ok.  Get dressed.  No, you cannot use the bathroom.  You are going to your hook up with a messed up ass, loaded up good.  If he should ask, tell him your uncle unloaded a week’s worth of baby batter in your pussy.

“Now go.  I want to hear details when you get back.  Oh and Vinny, in the future, if you want some Scotch, just ask.  Considering I’m going to beat your ass one way or the other, you kinda earned it.  Now go. 

“And take care of my babies.”

[docholligay]

I Saw the TV Glow

I’m essentially always up for a weird horror movie, so when I saw the ads for I Saw the TV Glow, I knew I was in. I don’t generally look up anything about a movie before I go, and in truth, prefer when a trailer doesn’t tell me all that much about what’s going to happen in a movie. This fit the bill!

Non-spoilery: Go in as blind as possible to this movie. There were a lot of things I thought this movie was going to be about, and it was not any of them. What it ended up being about was fantastic. This movie is really really going to resonate with some people my age and the ages around it. I don’t know if it will be as effective for younger people for a variety of reasons. 

Bear in mind I saw this once several months ago, with spoilers below the cut. 

OKAY. We’re in spoiler zone now, so let’s get into this: This movie is about the experience of being gay or trans, specifically in the late 90s to early aughts. We’ll get more into that later, but I want to put it on the table right now. This movie is horror in a Twilight Zone sense. That is in fact my favorite kind of horror! But if you’re seeing it billed as a horror movie, you may not get out of it what you are expecting. 

The Pink Opaque is absolutely Buffy. So much so that Jetty felt called out multiple times: They use the Buffy font, there’s a cameo from a Buffy actress, etc. The movie is not trying to hide this very well. And the Pink Opaque is not a great show! It’s more of a carriage device for these two teenagers that have something in common, something that sparks a realization between them of who they actually are. 

Throughout the show, as Owen gets more and more involved in wanting to watch the show with Maddy, we start seeing quotes in the background that could absolutely be on a high school board, but also…are very much about what is needed inm order to decide to unbury yourself, and live in the Pink Opaque. The one I remember the most, is because it’s one of my favorite quotes. “Without courage, all other virtues are meaningless.” I think about this quote all the time, because I think it is true. You can be kind, you can be intelligent, you can be loyal, but if you are a coward, those virtues mean nothing at the close of business. 

It’s impossible for me to explain to people even 7 to 10 years younger tha  me how different the world was then. I made the choice Maddy made and decided to live in The Pink Opaque as myself, but I love that it isn’t shown as consequence-free either. There are a lot of entanglements and difficulties and fights that came with that decision. You choose to live that way, in 2004, and you get to be the hero, but the hero has to constantly be on guard for the monsters around every corner. And this isn’t even me going, ‘poor pitiful me’--my life was leaps and bounds easier than 10 years before me--but it is a very very different landscape. Fucking no one bats an eye at me being gay now, realistically. 

When Maddy comes back as Tara, and says this is who she always has been, and she had to dig herself out of a fucking grave to be that, I was there, baby! I am not going to get too much into my personal life, but the process of becoming Doc was not a bloodless one. Her coming back and telling him he can have it all, he just has to be willing to die for it--fucking loved that. I have so many memories of having the same conversations with people. We couldn’t have everything. My peers had to decide between having college paid for, having a place to live, and being out, and not everyone had the brass ones to go my way. I made an impulsive, insane decision, and I have never ever regretted it. My parents couldn’t have paid for college anyhow, so fuck it. But it was a choice other people had same as I did, and again, sitting in that dark school ‘planetarium” telling Owen he can live a harder but more real life, fuck. Again, without courage, ALL OTHER VIRTUES ARE MEANINGLESS. I do genuinely feel like this movie might be a miss for a generation whose parents and social circles were simply awkward about it at worst. 

Not scary in the usual sense, but I think a great psychological horror about the costs of doing business, in this life. 

You’re poisoned, you’re buried alive, and that line about, “And you’ll never even know you’re dying.” I mean, sometimes I feel like I was a near miss from living my entire life closeted, as bizarre as that sounds for someone who left home over the matter. I am a person who just makes decisions, and what if I had made the decision to shut that part of myself off, as Owen did? 

My favorite part of this movie is when Owen shuts that part of himself off, and we see him living his life, and he has a family but we NEVER SEE THEM. Because they aren’t a real part of him either, they are all a part of the set dressing of the life he has convinced himself he wants. He is going to be a man, he is going to live as a man and tell himself that’s what he really wants. And then to end up in the bathroom, to end up vomiting all that moon juice and knowing that he has been dying inside the whole time? I thought it was such a beautifully sad ending. 

IF I had a criticism of this movie, there would be a couple handfuls: 

It can be a little on the nose, now and again. I think Maddy-as-Tara’s monologue goes on a little long and loses some of its punch. 

It doesn’t lean quite as hard into the unreliable narrator that is Owen as it could, and so I could see people going, “Oh, Tara was completely right, and Owen made the wrong choice” when even within the narrative, it is telling us that to live in the Pink Opaque is to kill who you are now. That is…not nothing. Owen has, for example, a real relationship with his mother. That’s something that can be lost. Because both me and the author made the same choice, its easy for us to write it as ‘correct’, and honestly it was only on stepping back for a bit that I’m like, “Hm, while this does a better job than 90% of the movies about this I’ve seen, i wish it would have outlaid the cost a little more” but I would want to rewatch it before I made that a HARD criticism instead of a soft one. I was still figuring out everything about the movie, and so didn’t have a chance to really analyze it in this lens. 

I had another criticism, but I actually do want to watch it again before I commit to it, upon reflection. 

[gisemojis]

You deserve the death threats, kys you fucking loser

ok.

every time someone tells me to end my life, a piece of me breaks. it gets harder and harder to find the strength to keep going. i'm doing my best to be strong, but it feels like a losing battle most days. i feel like i'm drowning, and there’s no one to pull me out of the darkness.

i am not okay. to those who have pushed me to this point, you need to understand the impact of your words. you’ve crossed a line, and your cruelty has hurt me more than you could ever know.

all i ever wanted was to make emojis. your harsh words and relentless bullying have taken that away from me. now, instead of feeling joy, i feel a constant weight of sadness and despair.

i just wanted to have fun. but now, i feel terribly sad. your words have made me feel like i don’t belong here, like i’m a burden.

i want you to know that your words have real consequences. they have pushed me to a point where i don’t know how to explain.

i am already dealing with chronic mental health issues every day for 9 years straight. i cant take such words anymore.

for anyone who started following recently, i have gotten 20+ kys messages from anonymous accounts. I deleted all of the posts.

[mistypsych]

ANATOMY OF A CRIMINAL - CHAPTER 7

/ yoongi / suga / agust d

summary: as a doctor you never expected to be dragged into “the criminal life”, nothing and no one seems to be true anymore, your whole world turns upside down after you save him.

pairings: yoongi mob boss x f.reader x non idol bts members.

warnings: smut, guns, knives, stabbings, blood, gore, murders, drugs, criminals, gang life, medical emergency, illness, abuse, swearing, angst, dubcon, gang violence, corruption, manipulation, lies, cheating - 18+ minors dni.

Note: Hi! This is an attempt of writing a fanfic long after not writing anything at all. Please keep in mind English is no longer my first language and it might be a bit rusty at times. Comments and thoughts are well appreciated. Don’t hesitate to ask questions, state your thoughts for me to post up and have me add you to the tag list!

You blinked very fast. Your thoughts were all over the place. Keeping your gaze on the KCIA badge you took a deep breath and mumbled “Yea… it does look like we need to talk…” trying to gather yourself, you turned to face the kind eyed man.

This was the moment he should start explaining, because you sure as hell had no idea what the actual fuck was going on.

He let out a long, quiet sigh, keeping his eyes on the road. “So… I am well aware you normally would not have anything to do with a gang, if it wasn’t for your reckless friend…” he started. “But… our target isn’t really the whole group. I mean yea, they are dangerous, cause some havoc but… they are also a well know danger… they keep the product they sell clean and such… yes it is bad, but how to say it? A evil you know is better than anything unknown and out of control right?”.

You tried to follow his logic, one questing popping into your head - then why was he even there? As if reading your mind he explained “We are fishing for the police… we have known the department has gotten very dirty in the recent years… and we are collecting enough evidence to be sure to take that scum down…” he turned his eyes to the road again waiting for you to slowly take in the information he has dropped on you.

You shake your head a bit and then look up as if asking the universe why the fuck this is all happening. “So… let me guess… my fiancé happens to be on the list…”. Jimin sighed and slowly nodded his head, clicking his tongue he looked at you for a second. “Listen… I know this is all a lot to take in… especially that your fiancé is an absolute dick… but… I assume you’d have nothing against putting his ass behind bars right?”.

You look at the man sitting next to you and try to think of an answer. In all honesty you would gladly have Hobi suffer since you found out not only is he dirty but also a cheater. The fact you slept with Agust-D did not seem like proper justice for the fact that asshole ruined all those years of your life. But having him locked up seemed like some kind of karma.

“Yea… I would not mind that at all…” you paused for a while and then asked “So… let me take a guess. You would love to have a spy in me huh?”. Jimin cleared his throat quietly, clearly not expecting you to be this blunt. “I won’t lie… it would probably make things easier… I believe you could fish out some important intel for us…”

Without much hesitation you say “Ok. Count me in then, as long as me and my friend Jungkook are not dragged into whatever consequences this shitshow brings…” the hazy eyed man slightly looks at you and nods “Of course… you will be my informant so I will make sure your demands are met…” you roll your eyes a bit not enjoying the fact once again you have been put in a peculiar spot.

You asked to be dropped off a couple of blocks before your building. Your neighborhood was safe enough for you to walk back and you sure as hell would not wan’t Hoseok seeing you get dropped off by Jimin.

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

You will have to lie, pretend and play games with Hobi. It was not something you ever would see yourself doing but given the circumstances, you did not have many options in order to receive some sort of justice for yourself. The worst part being that you had to pretend you have no idea about what he did and that you are still oh so blindly in love with him, when in reality all you wanted is to beat him into a pulp for wasting all those important years of your life.

Walking in slowly into your apartment you gently closed the doors hoping that if your fiancé was there you would not wake him up. Looking around you saw his jacket and sighed. Luck was not on your side. It seemed that you were gonna have to deal with his company sooner then later.

You made your way passed the opened bedroom doors, making sure to be quiet and to get you the chance to sleep on the couch, but no, you had to be shit outta luck. “Y/N? Hun? That you?” you swore in your head and barely controlled your impulse to punch the wall. Silently clearing your throat you said “Yea… it’s me… I went out with Kookie and some other coworkers… since you said you would be home late again…” you lied threw your teeth.

A sound of the bed covers rustling hit your ears. You knew he was getting up, so you put your best pretend happy tipsy face on. Right then you saw him stand in the door and lean on the frame with a slightly sleepy face. He smiled at you and came up taking your hand in his. “Mmm… I’m sorry I am having to work so much lately babe…” you nodded your head afraid that if you spoke that moment he would pick up your pure rage.

After a second you gathered yourself “It’s fine, we both have jobs that can occupy us at times…” wrapping his arms around you he kissed your shoulder “What did I do to deserve such a woman?” you forced a giggle. “Can I make it up to you Y/N? Hmmm?” he hummed in a low voice pulling at your waistband. You laughed lightly and gave him a peck in the nose saying “we can discuss that after I take a shower and you make breakfast.”

He mumbled slightly disappointed but made his way to the kitchen, you on the other hand got into the bathroom. You stood there looking at your reflection in the big mirror questioning all your life decisions and if you should have ever moved to Korea. You turned on the water for it to warm up. You needed a hot shower to was off all the strain from your muscles.

Suddenly your phone rang causing you to jump up. Looking at the screen you could see a no caller ID show up. Normally you would ignore such a call but something in you gave you a hunch. Picking up the phone you quietly answered. “Hello?” you heard a deep sigh on the other side of the line and then the well know gravely voice “Didn’t take you would be the type to sneak out at dawn?” your heart clenched and then started beating like crazy. You could feel your body getting tense.

“And I wouldn’t think you’d be the type to be bothered by such a thing… I would think you’d appreciate it…” he chuckled, you could almost see him shaking his head in amusement “Nah… I was thinking of round two for breakfast…” you sigh grabbing the tip of your nose. This was all one big mess. “I have a fiancé…” you muttered hoping this would salve it and make him cancel the call, but instead he laughed loudly “Oh… I know you do and I ain’t bothered babe, because I know now when he fucks you, you’ll be thinking of me and all I can do to you”. His words rendered you speechless “Mmm just what I thought. You’ll be coming back for more Y/N and oh I will give it to you…” and at that he ended the call.

Standing there and looking at your cellphone you were trying collect yourself. This fucking cocky bastard was so sure you’d be coming back to him. “You wish… we will see who’s left begging…”

tags: @wobblewobble822 @nansasa @nochook @kootieful @kooslilhoe @yoongisducky @xjiminsthighsx @danielle143 @llallaaa @idkjustlovingbts @darcyw16 @missusally-blog @honsoolgloss @nochuel @kaitieskidmore1 @starrlo0ver @geek-lara-nerd @jwnghyuns @xyahrinx @acquiescence804

[portaltothevoid]

you're losing me part viii -- ex!terzo x reader, copia x reader

warnings: angst, violence, sexual tension, brief mention of blood

word count: 3.9k

taglist: @bitchywitchygardener @calitmediondelll @copias-juicebox @copiasprincipessa @da-rulah @deetz-ghuleh @fishwithtitz @ghostfangirlsweden @ivycasket @lurancyvenom @sodoswitchimage @water-ghoulette @zombiesnips-blog

With bared teeth and a sinister growl rumbling from your chest, you charged at Terzo. Your forearm pressing into Terzo’s throat as you shoved him against the door. “You fucking liar!” you snarled. Your voice sounded just like it did that first time you changed in this very office. It was deeper, more gravelly. Less human. “Is this some kind of game to you?!” 

He was mute with horror. The only sounds coming from him were desperate gasps for air. His hands grasped at your arm to try and lessen the pressure of it, but it only made you push down harder.

“Answer me!” you demanded. 

“P-please. I c-can’t…” he managed to wheeze.

Control yourself, my child. We still need him… an ethereal voice chimed in your mind. You gave him one last pointed glare before you released him, turning away in disgust. As you did so, his panting silenced. 

Sitting at Terzo’s desk was a familiar, devilishly handsome horned man with eyes of literal fire. His elbows were perched on the arm rests of the chair as he looked over his laced fingers in front of him, he let out a disappointed sigh. “I thought we went over how to control your wrath.”

“How can I control it around that?” you said, throwing your hand in Terzo’s direction. “You expect me to stay calm when he pulls me in again with his… his charm and ‘poor me’ act? You really expect me to stay calm when he’s still hiding shit from me?”

“He’s not lying,” Asmodeus said matter of factly.

“I find that hard to believe,” you said, still feeling bold as your eyes sized up the King of Hell before you, which earned you a slight smirk from him.

“He has been doing what he’s told and only sharing what we allow.” You went to take a step forward, but when you blinked, he was standing in front of you, holding you by your shoulders. “You need to listen to him. He’ll explain what’s necessary. The only thing I can interfere with is if you attempt to take his life, and with that being said, if you lose too much control, there will be immediate consequences.”

“I don’t even know what I am! I’m being thrown in so many different directions. He’s fucking me over one minute, he’s sincere the next, and then goes back to threatening to destory my life. I can’t keep doing this,” you pleaded. “I can’t figure any of this shit out with him acting like Jekyl and Hyde!”

“You’re acting like a petulant child,” scolded Asmodeus. His lip twitched as if he was trying to resist showing his increasing annoyance. “You still love him; you never stopped. And yes, you love Copia too, but this has nothing to do with love and everything to do with destiny. All of you are involved. You each have a role to play.” Asmodeus stepped away from you and closer to Terzo as he snapped his fingers. Terzo then started to fall forward, rubbing his throat and breathing heavily. 

“This isn’t a game, tesoro,” he said hoarsely. When he looked up, he froze. 

Your eyes darted back and forth between him and Asomdeus, who held out his hand towards Terzo. “See?” he said. “The truth.”

“King A-Asmodeus,” he stuttered with a bow of his head. “Can she–”

“Yes. Both of you can see me, because I’m growing tired of how long this is taking,” Asmodeus deadpanned as he approached you again, placing a hand on your shoulder. “I’m removing the hex which has served its purpose. There isn’t time for this little pissing match. I need him of sound mind for what is to come…” as his voice trailed off so did his touch. He dragged his hand from you before pointing and walking towards the man staring at him in an awestruck haze. “Now, Terzo,” he began, placing his hand on his back, guiding him slowly towards you, “you will tell her the rest of what you know. There’s no longer a need to withhold information from her. And you,” he said, placing a hand on your back, “need to focus on your ascension. You’ve been bestowed a great honor, given a great gift. Treat it as such. Understood?”

You and Terzo could only nod, which earned you both a pointed glare. Each of you stuttered your own “Yes, understood, your Darkest Eminence.”

“Good.” And with that he was gone.

You stood there, staring at the now empty space Asmodeus once occupied, dumbfounded. Slowly you turned and shifted your gaze to Terzo who stared back at you with the same slack jawed expression. He was the first one to break the silence. “So, you…eh, you have been having visions, seeing the Infernals.” 

“They didn’t want me to tell anyone.” You blinked rapidly, allowing the blackness in your eyes to dissipate. You were still furious at Terzo, but not enough anymore to go full on beast mode.

“What was that he said about a hex?” he questioned as he cocked his eyebrow, fully turning to you, and crossing his arms expectantly.

After clearing your throat, you muttered, “When you texted me last night, I got really pissed off. And didn’t know if you were gonna… do anything to me again, so I went and hexed you.”

He laughed as he grabbed your hand, pulling you to the love seat that was in the corner of his office. He kept his distance from you, placing you at one end and himself at the other. “If that’s not a sign of true love, I don’t know what is.” You only scowled at him in response. He took off his gloves, tossing them aside. Running his hand through his hair, he took a deep breath as he looked over at you. “I meant it when I said I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“That’s nice. You still did. Countless times. I’m done talking about it. What I do want to talk about is how the hell are you involved in this prophecy?” 

“Well, aside from the Infernals showing themselves to me–” You crossed your arms and gave Terzo a warning look that made his cocky attitude fade as he cleared his throat. “You know how I’m only three months younger than Secondo?”

“Oh…” you said quietly as it dawned on you. “Same father…”

“Different mothers, sì. Did I ever tell you what little I know about her?”

You scoffed. “Not really. You just said how she wanted nothing to do with you and Nihil was a shit father that left it up to Primo to raise you both, because he couldn’t be bothered.”

“Bene, when she found out about Secondo just after I was born, she did not take that well. She had thought she was Nihil’s only partner, so there was a huge fight, which ended in her leaving and never coming back.”

Nothing could stop the burst of laughter that erupted from you. “Wow. Like father, like son.”

“At least I can remember all my partner’s names,” Terzo clapped back, casting his own threatening look towards you.

“Ooh, bravo,” you mocked sarcastically, with some weak applause and a roll of your eyes. “So that’s it? You think you're extra special because you don’t have the same mother and you’ve had some visions?”

“And you’re forgetting that it is me who is the current Papa.”

“And you don’t think Copia could be after you?” He casted a side-eyed glare at you. “You do realize ‘being Papa’ doesn’t mean shit when it comes to this, right? They’ve already scheduled Writer Ghoul to be here for the beginning of next year…”

Terzo fully turned his body towards you and leaned in closely. “And do you realize that’s exactly the point? We can change that. You can change that.”

“The only thing I’m starting to realize is that you–” Whatever snide remark you had brewing was shut down when Terzo put a finger to your lips and gave you the look he only did when he was done with you being a brat. You swallowed, shoving your words down with your gulp.

“Save your smart ass assumptions, amore. We’re destined for something beyond all of this. And I cannot for the life of me figure out why you can’t just accept that, despite everything, ti amo.” Your eyes turned to slits as your nostrils flared. Terzo moved you so you were also facing him. His hands rested on your shoulders and locked you in place. “Please, just listen. I’m not saying this to… I’m not trying to make you upset. I have to tell you everything now, sì?”

You let out a burst of air through your nose. “Fine. Talk,” you grumbled.

“I did go to the Seers about your mark when I first suspected what it was. That was before the… eh… first time… But after that, that was when I first saw Lucifer himself. He told me of my importance to His plan and of your importance. I had to be the one to bring forth your darkness. You don’t know how many times I asked, ‘why me?’ The only answer I’ve ever gotten was that I am destined for something greater than this. What ‘this’ is, I really cannot say, but now, the one thing I am certain of is that I don’t want to be without you. I’ve never… What I feel for you is something I’ve never felt for anyone. I’ve never been afraid of losing someone before. And I knew when you left after the Mabon Ball that I had done exactly that.”

“How could I stay with you after that? Why would I even want to?! And then you forced me–”

He rested his forehead on yours, sighing as he closed his eyes for a moment, before he moved back slightly, his dichromatic eyes boring into yours. “I know. I know what I did. I couldn’t stand how you left me for… him. I constantly felt worthless and undeserving of you. But I had to find a way to set what was inside you free. I thought what happened that night would be enough.”

“So, you hurt me in the worst possible way? You felt so undeserving of me you wanted to destroy me and then… make me hate myself like you do?” Your voice trembled. The anger had left. A tsunami of sadness washed over you as you felt tears welling up.

“It was jealousy. It was…” He let out a frustrated sigh as he clamped his eyes shut and shook his head in an attempt to sort out all of his thoughts. “I didn’t know what exactly was going to happen to you. All I knew is that you would go through various stages of ascension, but the first one, unleashing your Infernal self, would be the most difficult. Some of the things I did… bene, that was just me being, eh, a little bit fucked up in the head.” You couldn’t help but let out a breathy chuckle at his little shrug. “So I convinced myself that if I did my worst, and you became what you were destined to be – being cut from the cloth of Hell – the suffering I caused, the torment… would be overlooked, or forgiven, somehow. And then the weight of every action hit me and–” he moved his hands to hold your face, his thumbs rhythmically moving along your jawline. “–I regret so many things. I just… I want us to be as we were in the beginning. I don’t want to hurt you anymore. I just want… I want to love. And to be loved. I want you, tesoro. I want us. I want to be who you loved before all this.”

Your hands flew to his wrists. You had fully intended to tear him away from you, but you just held onto him. The thudding sound coming from your chest was deafening. Automatically, your eyes darted from his eyes to his lips. The next thing you knew, the space between you both was gone, you were leaning back, pulling him on top of you.

With Copia, there was comfort and safety, but with Terzo, there was unadulterated passion and fervent intensity. You craved both things. But was the passion worth the price? Could you find the intensity in safety? 

Where Copia was domestication, Terzo was wildness. Essentially you had what at times felt like a disobedient beast tucked away in the darkest corners of your mind and slowly it was being brought to the light. It seemed as though Copia’s role was to tame it and Terzo was to allow it to be free. A part of you knew that was why, during that fateful summons, you let it happen. Part of your guilt stemmed from wanting it to happen. Your mind was reeling, yet your focus was the situation in front of you, or rather, on top of you. Right now, you didn’t want to have to choose between anything. You only wanted to feel.

When Terzo broke the kiss, you could see that fire for you burning in his eyes. You found yourself pulling him towards you again. He left a trail of kisses up your neck until he reached your ear. “Does your Cardinal ever make you feel the way I do?” His voice was breathy and sultry.

And that was why you couldn’t have nice things when it came to Terzo. Your eyes snapped open and you pressed your lips tightly together in a meak attempt to ground yourself as you tried not to fuel the anger you felt resurfacing. Without a word, your grip on his shirt tightened before you pushed him off you, sending him toppling to the floor. You sat up and shook your head in discontent. “You know, you really have a way of ruining a moment,” you said, deadpan.

“Is that what that was? Just a moment?” he said with a snarky tone. You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms over your chest. He propped himself up on his elbows, looking up at you from his spot on the floor. “This just reminded me… You never did answer my question from earlier.” There was the slightest sly smile tugging at his lips. With a glare as your only response, “Do you love him?” he pressed.

“I am not doing this with you.” You got up and stepped over him, making it just a few steps before he followed suit, grabbing your arm to turn you back towards him.

“Then what are you doing with me? What were you doing with me, hm?” he asked with a raised eyebrow. This only spurred your irritation. 

“The only reason. I’m even here. Is because I wasn’t going let you manipulate me again.” You started to storm off again, but he caught up with you in front of his desk. Using the same motion as before, he made you face him.

“And now you know that shit is over. When are you going to start seeing the bigger picture here, hm? This is more than any of us! How many times do I have to say it? You don’t just need someone who loves you by your side, you need someone who can lead.”

“Do you see the bigger picture? This isn’t about love, it’s about destiny! For all of us! It’s probably not even going to matter what we want in the end!”

“Esatto (exactly)!”

“Sathanas, what is your point? Are you just trying to piss me off?” Your irritation was verging towards volatile.  

“I’m trying to make you see what you aren’t. The wedge I drove between us didn’t stop you from loving me. You don’t even realize how much you need–”

“This isn’t about you!” you yelled. “What!? Do you need an ego boost? Is this your fucked up way of begging me to take you back? To put the odds more in your favor? I can’t keep fucking doing this with you!” 

Once again, you turned to leave but Terzo's hands rushed to your arms – his vice grip holding you in place as his fingers constricted your biceps. 

“I know when the time comes, it will be me by your side.” You opened your mouth to begin your retort, but he cut you off by shaking you, forcing all of your attention on him as he leaned even closer to you, your foreheads almost touching as he looked down at you. “Stop trying to deny it,” he growled through his teeth. Briefly he shut his eyes before suddenly his whole demeanor softened when he opened them again. He moved one hand up to caress your cheek. “Stop denying your feelings for me. We both know they’re still there,” he laughed softly, his eyes followed his fingertips as they ghosted down your skin before tapping right at your heart. Almost seductively and with a glint of mischief, his eyes lingered on your lips for a brief moment before finally they met yours. “You wouldn’t be so… enraged if they weren’t.”

You could feel your chest rise and fall as you forced yourself to take deeper breaths in a vain attempt to remain calm. You didn’t dare say anything. In all honesty, you didn’t even know what to say, but you’d be damned if you ever were to admit to his face he might be even the slightest bit right. 

Delicately, as if you might shatter, he slipped his hand down to hold your neck, his thumb continuing to caress your cheek. Your piercing stare never faulted, but that didn’t deter him from searching for something in your eyes. His face dropped in a way that looked like he was about to start begging you, but you weren’t sure for what. “I can't stand who I've become, tesoro. I can change. I promise you. I promise I will be a better man.”

There he went again. Promises, promises. Your scowl deepened. You could feel a growl readying itself, about to be unleashed, but you gritted your teeth. “Did you tell that to the sister that was in your bed just last night?” 

Terzo's face went slack as the shock from your question sunk in. He moved his mouth like he was trying to find the right words to say, but nothing came out. You took this opportunity to finally lean into your hurt and your anger. You didn’t just walk into the fire of your wrath, you ran. And your eyes turned devoid of color.

Before he could even register what you were doing, Terzo's arm was pinned behind his back, your other arm was above his, across his back, creating pressure over his lungs. The desk dug into his gut as you pressed your body weight (along with what felt like five other’s) down on him as you folded him like a piece of paper. “Do. Not. Keep making me promises you know you can’t keep.” You pushed him harder into the desk. “You think all of a sudden you’ve changed in the course of half a day? Do you?” You pressed down even harder. “Answer me!”

He could only shake his head “no” as he gasped for air. Dissatisfied with that answer, you pulled him up and tossed him behind you like a rag doll, sending him stumbling backwards. You watched him as he attempted to gain his footing. His face paled visibly (even with his papal paints) when he saw the change in your eyes. He held his hands out in front him and you noticed how they trembled. You also noticed the deep feeling of satisfaction that nestled itself in you at the sight of that. “I kn-know it will… take s-some time… I— I can prove to you. Please, believe me, I don't want— I want to be the man you n-need me to be. I want—“ 

“Do you think I fucking care about what you ‘want’?” you spat at him as you closed the space between you both again. He kept backing up until his body was flush with the wall behind him. You placed your hands on either side of him, caging him in. “I know what you want. You want to feel like you matter, like you’re important. You want everyone to adore you. You want to be the center of attention.”

You took your hands off the wall, sliding them over Terzo's arms until they met in the center of his chest. Sensually, they trailed downward. “You only want me…” suddenly you took his jacket in your hands and yanked him toward you. With a twist of your body, you threw him onto the hardwood floor, flat on his back. Before he could register any pain, you were on top of him, pulling him up towards you again. The fabric of his silken jacket balled in your fists.  “You only want me, because you want power. I'm nothing but a means to an end.” Putting both sides of his jacket into one hand, your other one went to the nape of his neck where your fingers slid through his hair before you made a tight fist and pulled his head back. “And that’s why you don’t care about anything else besides being by my side. So, no, I don't believe you when you say it’s me that you want. It’s not me and it never was. It’s my power.” Swiftly, you let him go from your preternaturally tight grasp as he fell back onto the floor with a thud and an immediate wince. 

His eyes stayed shut for a few beats. You leaned back, so you were sitting on him. You rolled your eyes since this time you felt the hard bulge underneath you and his irksome smirk befell his face. The hex had definitely been removed. “Who's to say I don't want both things, dolcezza?” he chuckled, almost smugly. 

Any control you had, any care for consequences, left. The fires of wrath had never burned this bright inside you and you let it consume you. Without hesitation, you brought your fist to his face. His head whipped to the side before your opposite fist made contact, busting his lip open. You yanked him up to you again by his shirt that was becoming stained as the blood trickled down from his face. “Why can’t you ever just love me!? Why am I never enough for you?!” you screamed in his face so loudly and gutterally that you could feel it ringing in your ears. 

Letting him fall back, you wrapped your hands around his throat while you put all your weight down on them and squeezed. His eyes grew wide. His already bruising face started to turn red. He feebly grasped at your arms, desperately trying (and failing) to loosen your grip. You were too lost in your bloodlust to hear the door fling open and the cacophony of heavy footsteps behind you. You didn’t realize what was happening until you were being pulled off of Terzo. 

You growled, screamed, and snarled like a rabid animal as you tried to get back to Terzo, so you could finish what you started. Being much, much stronger than you, your captors held you in place as you thrashed and swung your limbs trying to escape their hold to no avail.

part vii | part ix

[kingmagnificoofrosas]

HATE when people explain the fear in Magnifico’s face as the wishes leave him and are set free. It’s not ‘oh no my powers lost 🥺’ it’s an ‘oh god what am I doing? Fuck I’m hurting people, I didn’t mean to, make it stop.’ It’s not a villain being defeated it’s closer to a moment of clarity, similar to one someone suffering from addiction may have. When you’re doing it you can’t think of the consequences, all you know is this feels good and you don’t want that to stop. But then the effects wear off and you realise people are upset and hurting and it’s your fault and you want either to stop or to get back on it so you forget what you’re doing, that’s why he reaches for the wishes, not to grab them and control them but because when he doesn’t have them he’s faced with something he’s forced to deal with alone that he can’t handle.

Sorry for the rant but I really find the comparison between addiction and what Magnifico goes through interesting, and it riles me up because he’s treated like a villain when all he needs is help and the stigma facing addiction means those suffering from it can’t get help and fall further into their problem. Magnifico defender for life 💙🩵🤍

YES! I mean, the fact that you can see the exact moment the hold of the possession is broken ... like ... do you see the green claws holding the wishes but they leave anyway? And the second the "demon" is kicked out of Mags, his face immediately shifts to pure panic and confusion?

Look at this poor baby!! Those haters claiming what you mentioned above is insane!!! What are they so mad at him for??

I have seen and heard multiple times now, that people compare Magnifico's sitution to an addiction. While I do agree on some points, I got to say, that Magnifico wasn't addicted. In his case, he was heavily traumatized from his childhood and the fear that came from it forced him to the book, because he panicked. He didn't even want to use the book! And then, he got possessed by that evil entity and controlled like a puppet. No way did that feel good. That demon in him was throwing a party because he was like "Yes! Finally a vessel I can control to kill, steal and destroy! I won!" No sir! I can't imagine how Magnifico must have suffered in his own body, suppressed by that entity! Not to scare anyone but I've seen demons manifest in people and that shit ain't a drug high, that is torture!

Makes it a 100 times worse that the people of Rosas including Amaya, Asha etc. Turned on him with the snap of a finger. He was only a source for a favor for them all. And the fact no one had an idea that he was possessed isn't an excuse for them either. They didn't care for him. And even those who might have realized something is wrong, stayed silent!!! And watched. Their king, who constantly gave and gave and gave, went out of his ways to help his people the best way possible, made a life of luxury possible for them, needed their help desperately and they turned away!

Also, what do these haters think paying no rent or taxes means?? 99% of the time, money was the one thing that brought a person status and power. Other kings sat on their gold like greedy dragons, while Magnifico doesn't give a flying fart for money. If he did, he would have taken taxes like any other king and let the people pay rent! The people of Rosas had to pay for nothing!!

He was simply too good for them all! That ungrateful, greedy, ignorant, compassionless, egoistical, entiteled, selfish bunch of hypocrites!

And yes, you are not alone with your anger! We defenders are all in this together! 💙✨️

[fuck-you-upmusicbracket]

The Foundations of Decay (My Chemical Romance)

The guiltiness is yours/You must fix your heart/And you must build an altar where it swells/When the storm decays/And the sky it rains/Let it flood, let it flood, let it wash away/And as we stumble through our last crusade

And if by his own hand his spirit flies/take his body as a relic to be canonised/and so he gets to die a saint /while she will always be the whore

Let our bodies lay where our hearts will stay/Let our blood on vacation, you'll find God in pain/And if by his own hand his spirit flies/Take his body as a relic to be canonized/And so he gets to die a saint but she will always be the whore

"Every single lyric is so fucking powerful. the instrumentals hit every time. it’s such a powerful and moving and motivational song like yeah, everything is fucked up and ruined and will never be the same again. but keep moving. get up (coward). fix your heart. god it’s so good."

Aside from being MCRs return song after 10 years. There's so much pain, and rage, and just deeply felt emotion. When I saw them live, screaming GET UP COWARD at the end is the single loudest sound I have ever made in my life."

"It's just... a spiritual feeling that washes over me whenever I listen to this song. I feel like I die and am reborn thousands of times throughout its six minute duration. The lyrics are poetry. A battle between giving up and letting the decay take over you or overcoming it and getting up no matter the consequences. But it's not like a gym song to work out to. It's a battle song to make it though the dark cave that is depression and suicidal thoughts and trauma. It's a song that brings you back from the dead."

Soap (The Oh Hellos)

I’ve heard if I werе tougher/Then maybe I’d makе it alive/I got a tender side/I’ll need a harder shell to survive/But if seeing is believing/I don’t know I’ve seen a thing grow/Without an open coat/Not without a softness showing

"GRRRR I don't know if I can adequately explain how unwell this song, and the whole EP, makes me. I was stuck between submitting this, or Theseus (from the same EP), and I think they both deserve it but god. Soap. I think that you’re worth keeping around / I think you’re worth holding onto. healing is a process that takes time and it's gonna hurt and be awful and painful and you're gonna want to hide away from it. take your heart out of the stone prison you've built up around it. let it see the sun. and it will hurt. but there are people who love you and want you to heal. we're in this together now let's go get some therapy 🤝"

The Foundations of Decay submitted by @themagnusalchemists + others

[yournewfriendshouse]

I’ve been taking this antihistamine to help me sleep, an it is awful, it hits like a hammer, exaerbates mindfog and has a really long half life but it has a marked effect on reducing pem but most importantly it makes me sleep

I have chronic fatigue syndrome and insomnia which is a match made in a torture chamber. without taking it I routinely go 24 hours without sleep which has the same physical effects on me as the peak of codine withdrawals, and that’s despite taking another, less shitty sleeping medication, pain killers, an antidepressant that you have to take at night because it causes drowsiness and melatonin. it’s hell.

so like obviously I don’t want to take a medication that hits like a hammer on a nightly basis, it isn’t fun, I’m not getting high, it’s fucking terrible but at least I sleep deep enough and long enough that I’m not wanting to scream in pain and anguish because of lack of sleep. in fact it helps me sleep enough that my chronic fatigue like…

so this needs explaining but I feel like there are two or three layers to post excertional malaise when you have chronic fatigue, there is the shallow one that you do a thing without pacing or go over your energy envelope/past your spoon deficit, and three days later you are hit with the consequences.

but then there is a deeper, long term kind of malaise that I basically just call ‘The Shadow’ because after you do a major, major thing. like moving house and making a massive wedding cake within months of one another. or moving house in a very traumatising fashion, and then six months later attending a three day wedding and then getting covid…massive things that go beyond overdoing it…you have the two week flu like PEM consequences, but then for like…two years, three years, five years, you have this bullshit making life harder. it causes the world to be greyer, and gravity to be higher, fatigue is more pressing, and post exertional malaise happens sooner… you go up a rung or two in severity, basically.

and the thing is the more you rest, the more you sleep, the quicker you can escape the shadow. so like I am here and this medication sucks, but I have a plan. I need to take this fucking awful pill so I can sleep enough for that plan.

but every time I go to get that pill at the chemist they try to tell me how awful it is like I know! I know. but not sleeping is worse.

and yesterday we went through the whole thing and then she finally gets it for me and then today I realise she gave me the 25mg instead of the 10 mg like lady why would you do that?

anyway that’s my rant for today. maybe I should print that spiel put and just hand it to them next time

[justtogetthrough]

Background info: I was finally diagnosed last month. My manager is like a mother figure to me. She’s been super supportive emotionally and tangibly, eg driving me to surgery/picking me up more than once, care packages for me and my cats, etc. She truly truly cares about me and offers so much love and support that I miss in my life from actual family. She is reliable and has always come through for me. She has taught me how to get by in the world and has always willingly helped me script work interactions on an ongoing basis, and when I don’t understand what’s happening socially she’s always patiently done her best to explain (which is often). She has taught me very explicit ways to perform socially in professional ways which has been so helpful and appreciated. I feel like to some degree she MUST already know. How many grown adults would she mentor to this extent, who lack such basic social communication skills. She’s been so supportive through all my work-caused emotion dysregulation/escalations and my rigidity/inability to cope with change and my rage at feelings of injustice. To a large degree I feel like telling her I was just officially diagnosed will be a very “oooooh yeah that explains a lot”. Part of me suspects she must already know, or at least suspects something is very delayed in me despite being bright. She’s been so accommodating and has taught me so much, has helped bring me up to speed about how to function as an adult as much as my brain wiring will allow for. She’s a major reason I’ve been as successful as I’ve been.

On the other hand, she’s my manager and after a few years of really oversharing, I’ve been trying to rein it in. She already knows a ton about my mental illness and life history and I’m not sure it’s appropriate given our professional roles. I don’t think she’d discriminate against me but you never know? Ableism slips out in sneaky ways sometimes? And then the dreaded, “No you’re not!” “No, you can’t be!” “No, you ____ too well!” Part of me feels it’s none of her business. But part of me wants her to know why I’ve been so fucked up lately, that the real reason I’m on leave now is because of autistic burn out. I feel like I’ve been lying by omission to her for several months as I descended to new levels of hell because I feared professional consequences if she knew how unstable I was. But I bottomed out in a very unstable way so to some extent we’ve already crossed that bridge I guess. But if I tell her I was diagnosed with autism, there’s no going back? Will the label make her start to think I’m incompetent? I’ve always been incompetent lol I functioned because she micromanaged me. But it’s possible now that she knows why I needed that, it’ll change how desirable I am as an employee idk. She seems to think I’m great at my job despite how much direct support I need from her to do it so maybe it won’t change much, but for all I know the stigma of the label may change how she views me even though she knows exactly who I am and what I struggle with already.

I’m very torn.

[marengogo]

The Thing Is: - 3 : The Ni99a In The Room.

HARD PLACE - by H.E.R.  [I Used To Know Her]

[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]

–🐺–🐺–🐺–

Time to give elephants a break, so let’s talk about the ni99as in the room instead. So here I am offering my two cents, as one of your resident black people, cause I heard it’s about to be some tough years ahead, economically, so every cent will have to count I was not gonna say anything as I feel like this chapter 2 is surrounded by crazies, but the crazies done did it, so I needed to get this out of my chest. Oh and this sentence right here will be the only one where I will use the word nigga, as you’ve seen, I’m writing ni99a, in the same way in which I’d be writing fa99ot instead of faggot, which in a way is kinda related to what happened as Tae didn’t say the word, but regardless we all saw it being mouthed right? And, In case you just so happen to not know what went down, during his WEVERSE live, two days ago 28 August 2023, Tae was vibing to a song, during which, he didn’t say, but did mouth the word ni99a.   

As ALWAYS solos, in this case Tae’s, and diet ARMY began to deny everything, to the point in which they were downright gaslighting people, when it is all out there to see. And as always every non-black person, and their mamas, begin to yap, yap, and yap; but not listen to those who are directly affected by the usage of this particular word; us. Black people. And let me tell you, there’s been all ranges of reactions and opinions in regards, and when I say all ranges, I mean ALL.

I, for example, once it was clear that it he had indeed mouthed ni99a, loudly sighed and mentally yelled at Tae “for fuck sake!”. I personally feel that Tae’s heart is in the right place, he is not the type of person to intentionally mean to harm anyone and it wasn’t like he was yelling ni99a, while wearing a durag over cornrows. YET it was made clear that he didn’t understand the fact that “just not saying it, isn't enough” meaning that there is a deeper level of understanding, which is still not clear to him and I, talking about me personally, can understand that. And how can this be fixed? BY ACKNOWLEDGING THAT IT HAPPENED IN THE FIRST PLACE AND CONSEQUENTLY PROVIDE MEANS TO FURTHER EDUCATE.

But how, I ask you, is he to even realise any of this well now that he caused a ruckus he knows for sure, if the first thing the majority of “his fans” did was pretend like it didn’t happen? In order to what? Continue to make him look stupid and ignorant? Aren’t we supposed to be walking this path with him, and all the other members? As friends rather than fans? If your friend says or does something out of order, won’t you let them know? Doesn’t the same happen to you when you make a mistake? The saying is live and learn for a reason. To be honest with you, all I did was hope that perhaps having people like Namjoon, Yoongi and Hobi around, who are actually rappers and as far as I know haven’t been going around publicly mouthing ni99as left-and-right, would sit his ass down and explain what’s up.

That’s how I saw it, and I am sure there are other people who thought the same, BUT there is a whole other section of black fans who were deeply disappointed, aggravated and just felt frustration and hopelessness; and THAT is ALSO VALID. There are black fans out there who can’t comprehend why it is that Tae doesn’t know, or understand, still, after all this time, that even just mouthing ni99a is just as bad. These people feel like black lives don’t matter after all, that perhaps it was all just a facade and that the extra mile wasn’t taken, and now it has made this whole experience, being his fan, tainted. “But Tae didn’t mean …”, “But Tae didn’t …”, etc, it doesn’t matter; none of that changes the fact that what happened, happened and nobody has the right to tell anybody how to feel and react about anything that directly involves them.

If you are a non-black person, and perhaps don’t understand fully, and maybe, all you want to do is make things better for Tae, then LISTEN TO YOUR FELLOW BLACK FANS. Understand their emotions, the positive and the negative in particular, understand why it is jarring in some cases, and why it is not seen as a problem in others, but don’t discount one for the other. ALL BLACK OPINIONS MATTER. 

Trust me, our experiences come in all shapes and colors. An African American life will most likely be radically different from the one of an African European, such as myself. I never was called a nigga, in fact just using the word black in the purposefully harmful was offensive enough, even though the equivalent of ni99a exists, but also that was never used on me. Yet, what really aggravated me, was for example being refused a house, no matter how much money they possessed, which happened to a friend of mine I’ve moved out of that country long ago, just like me black, and just like me born in that country. So for those like us being called ni99a is the last of our worries; YET doesn’t mean it is not a real problematic, damning and serious issue for an African American. And then there’s Asian Africans … chile, and etc etc. As I said, all walks of life, all different triggers, same fucking skin.   

The way I’ve always seen ARMY, was a benevolent force that is there with the boys in the good times and the bad times. This is an example of bad times. This is the time where ARMY can, in an educated manner, let their fav know that “hey, we know you didn’t mean it that way, but look, this, this, and that”, and if in this specific case it is probably impossible to reach them through the useless loud noise of the majority of the fandom in this stupidass chapter 2, then at least don’t go around hypocritically gaslighting and invalidating people’s emotions. As I said an I’ll keep repeating, I really do think that Tae’s heart is in the right place and just needs, some/more guidance, the way I see it, if I had to cut every friend that made a mistake in my life, I’d have to move to Mars, and many a person would send me to Venus based on my own mistakes.

I remember the time my brother was so angry at someone, not present, and described them as a fa99ot, and I literally gave him the lecture of a lifetime, we were at my church and he’s sinned in front of his pansexual sister “You know i wasn’t talking about you” he said “But that’s not the problem, is it? …” I began. Took a bit for him to properly understand and a while longer for him to stop using the word out of habit, but I haven’t heard him say it ever since, at least not in front of me, or in public, and for now, that is the most I can ask for. What he does in his private time, is his own karma, but none of that shit will happen around me. 

So I’m just going to hope that someone in his life is able to get to him, and help correct where needed. It would be great if ARMY helped as well where possible and all we have to do is watch and see how things change from here on. However, if there are people out there who are not ready to give Tae the benefit of the doubt, ever again, I’m afraid that this is a consequence of his actions and we have no place to tell these people otherwise. All we can do is listen, understand and keep it moving.  

And that’s my 2 cents. I know I need to give y’all that CHAPTER 2 BPOST, keep bearing with me, that is a reaaaaaally long as blog, so it will come eventually. So be there for Tae if want, don't if you don't. It's a free world and once again, in such instances, all decisions and emotions are valid and ultimately, it is what it is. But most of all be kind with one another, don’t be scared of facing adversities, everything happens for a reason, and most of the time, it is not about the mistakes in itself, but is what you do after it or to prevent it from ever happening again.

Always respectfully yours.

Marengo. 

[silverhallow]

15. "Finally, a good idea." For Philoise? 🙏🙏

So I sort of tweaked the prompt so it fit with the story that my brain decided to write… hope you don’t mind and hope you enjoy it.

Being trapped in a lift was not in Eloise Bridgerton’s plans for the day. In fact she’d go as far as saying they were not in her plans for any point in her life…

Being trapped alone, she might have been able to contend with, she could manage her own company all well and good, despite her upbringing and being constantly around people but being trapped in a lift with a complete stranger… a strange man at that, was probably in her top 10 least preferred things to happen to her.

“Fuck” she swore loudly as the lift came to a clunking, grinding stop and all the lights went out.

“Eloquently put” the stranger said to her, amusement in his voice.

“I do not need sarcasm right now…” Eloise snapped

“It wasn’t sarcasm, I was going to say the same thing but you beat me to it…” the strange man said.

“Oh right well, do you have a torch or lighter so we can find the alarm thing on the panel to tell someone we’re stuck…” Eloise asked

“No but my phone does…” he said, still sounding amused “besides lighting a lighter if it’s a possible gas leak that’s caused the lift to stop working due to the heat from the engines, then it could have disastrous consequences” he grinned at her.

Eloise had never wanted to punch someone outside of her family more. “Smartarse” she muttered under her breath but any further retort was lost when a light appeared and it turned out the strange man was a lot closer to her than she’d realised and she jumped in fright.

“Scared of the dark?” he asked

“No, just… I don’t like strangers in my personal space” she quipped.

“The name’s Phillip…” he said before turning his attention to the panel and pressing the alarm button.

It rang twice before someone picked up and explained that there had been a major power outage at the University and all the electrics were down, they were working on it but they weren’t sure how long it was going to be.

“Fucking brilliant…” Eloise groaned, as she went rummaging in her own bag to look for her phone “and my phones nearly dead…” she groaned

“You can borrow mine if you need to call someone, i charged it up whilst I was working” Phillip offered

“Oh right… erm… thanks, just I was supposed to meet my sister-in-law this afternoon, we promised to take her two eldest boys to the museum to see the dinosaurs so obviously I’m not going to make it…” Eloise said, with no idea why she was explaining herself to a stranger.

“Here, you can call her if you want?” he said, holding out his phone.

“Th…thanks” Eloise said, taking it and quickly typing in Sophie’s number and calling her.

Sophie was understanding and a bit worried about her “are you alone?”

“No i’ve someone called Phillip with me, it’s his phone i’m calling off…” Eloise said

“Are you safe?”

“I’m trapped in a lift Soph… what do you think?” Eloise snapped

“Not what I meant… like who is he?”

“No idea, another student i’m assuming…” Eloise said as she looked at him and Phillip nodded “he’s nodding so clearly attends this uni…”

“Put him on the phone…” Sophie ordered

“What?”

“Now Eloise…” Sophie said in a no-nonsense tone and Eloise handed him the phone.

“Sophie wants to talk to you”

Phillip frowned and looked at the phone “erm… hello?”

“Phillip?”

“Yes ma’am?”

“You’re not some sort of sadist, rapist murderer are you? Is Eloise safe with you?” Sophie asked bluntly

“Erm… No, I'm not. I am a botany PHD student, I'm working on ways to preserve life, not take it…” he said a little taken aback at the bluntness of her question

“Very well, just a word of warning though, should you decide to harm a hair on my sister-in-law’s head… her eldest brother is a lawyer, a very good one, as is his wife… my brother in law works for the police… and the Bridgerton’s are not a family you want to mess with understand?”

“Y…yes ma’am” he said nervously, fear in his voice now which made Eloise raise her brow in amusement, something Phillip could only just make out

“Good, now if you would be so kind to let me know when you get out of the lift as I know Eloise clearly forgot to charge her phone again and i’ll not be able to rest until I know she is safe” Sophie asked

“Of course… i promise she will be safe with me” he said as the phone cut off and he turned towards Eloise

“She’s terrifying…”

“You’d think so to hear her talk but if you met her… she’s like 5”2, petite blonde, looks like butter wouldn’t melt but honestly, you don’t want to piss her off” Eloise sighed “how long do you think we’ll be in here for?”

“No idea, could take them hours to fix the electricity” Phillip said

Eloise groaned

“You’re not claustrophobic or anything are you?”

“No just… I don't, I just… I had a date for later tonight, not that I was looking forward to going but my brother had set me up on it with one of his old buddies from uni…” Eloise sighed “and I ate all my lunch at like 10 am so was on my way to Crabtree’s for something to eat…” she said as just on cue her stomach gave an almighty grumble.

“Well if you want to call your date to cancel… you can borrow my phone”

“I don’t actually know his name or his number, it was a blind date, Colin had set me up…”

“Wait… is your brother Colin Bridgerton?” he asked putting two and two together as he remembered the scary Sophie voice saying the Bridgerton surname

“Yes… why?”

Phillip blinked in the darkness “I… I didn’t realise it was his sister he was setting me up with…”

“My date is with you!?” Eloise squeaked

“It would appear so, he knew my brother and his wife Marina before they died. I’ve not really had time to date since I took custody of their twins with my PHD but I bumped into Colin last week and he offered to set me up with someone… I had no idea it was his sister…” Phillip said.

“Oh… well… this is awkward…”

“How so?” he asked

“Well i just told you that I wasn’t looking forward to it” Eloise said grateful the darkness hid her embarrassed cheeks

“Neither was I. I'm not the most social of people. I spend most of my time in a greenhouse with peas… I find it easier to talk to plants than humans…” Phillip said.

Eloise chuckled “well I can talk to people, I just… don’t do well in social situations. People find me a bit… highly strung supposedly”

“Well with Colin as an older brother I don’t blame you. I’ve heard a lot about your family from him”

“Don’t believe half of it, he has a talent for exaggerating does my brother…”

“Well I am aware of that… so Eloise… since our date appears to be going array thanks to a black out… Why don’t we take a seat on the floor of this lift and you tell me about yourself?” he suggested

Eloise gave a small smile in the darkness as her stomach growled again “sorry…”

“It’s fine, I've got some food still in my bag. I’ve got a habit of forgetting to eat when I'm working” he said, opening his backpack and grabbing his lunch container.

“You sound like Benedict… Sophie’s forever bringing him food when he’s busy with his art and forgets to eat…” Eloise said amused

“It’s only when I am here, i am more responsible at home”

“I should hope so if you’ve got custody of your brother’s twins…” Eloise said with a small smile

“Well Small Human’s need as much attention as my plants so I try to be… it’s hard though…”

“I know. We lost our dad when I was young, it was hard on my two eldest brothers with 6 small humans…” Eloise said softly.

“Here, it’s not much but it’s a cheese sandwich, we can split the crisps and when we get out of here… if you want… we can go grab some actual food?”

“Sounds like a good idea” Eloise smiled as she took the sandwich, an odd sensation creeping over her, contentment like she’d never felt before, she’d never felt comfortable around people, men in particular, she’d dated, but never had she felt this before.

They were trapped in the lift for two hours, something that normally would have had Eloise climbing the walls, but she’d barely noticed the time, they laughed, talked about their favourite books, their courses and aspirations. She loved that he listened to her when she went on a feminist rant about women in journalism and had been shocked when he’d agreed with her wholeheartedly.

She’d been so taken with him that once they’d been released and they went and found a little take away place to get some pizza, she went back to his and ended up spending the night… all in all she felt like though it was an unconventional first date, it was probably the best first date she’d ever been on…

That was until the following morning when they were awoken to banging loudly on the door and as Phillip opened it, he was accosted by her three older brothers, her younger brother and her brother in law…

And as Phillip was pinned to the wall by the tallest of the two, he remembered he’d clearly forgotten to tell Eloise’s sister-in-law that they were out and safe…