#it’s like they don’t realize their ship is literally falling apart
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If Lucasfilm hires you to develop a project what do you pitch?
(Happy Thanksgiving btw 🦃)
Forgive me o’ Geode, friend and sender of fun asks, but the pitch would be me asking to use the restroom and then sneaking out through an open window.
I know! I know! What a boring answer! That sounds so cynical and unfun! Jess LOVES Star Wars content!! So why is she crying?!
Problem is, I think I would want to pitch The Acolyte.
Of course, I disagree with Leslye Headland’s take on the Jedi Order completely. But I can’t say I didn’t have fun with that show, or that I wouldn’t have tried to do the exact same thing she did with some meaningful differences: get a Jedi-centric story away from the Skywalker Saga, explore weird places, make it dark and edgy and sexy, diverse leads, LGTBQIA+ characters treated like real characters, big tasty lightsaber fights. And it would get cancelled just like The Acolyte did, as none of the things I wanted to fix about the show were the reasons for its failure.
I don’t think it’s just Star Wars, by the way. It is ROUGH out there for creative people working on projects, big or small. The industry is changing in ways that are still being realized as stories change to franchises which change to corporate properties managing streaming conglomerates. I imagine it will get a great deal worse before it gets better as companies start to cheap out on AI. I’ve talked to Netflix producers, friends who write for Marvel projects, and closer to home, my partner just realized the creative dream of a lifetime: the book he’s worked on for seven years got published by THE publisher in his scene. It’s a success! His fans are fantastic! The reviews are great! He’s sold so many copies so quickly that he would qualify for NYT bestsellers criteria if they listed his genre. His experience with the process was like pulling fucking teeth. He was unsupported with the book on every level by his publishers, fought for every good decision, and the whole process was exhausting and demoralizing.
I can’t imagine how quickly the dream turns into a nightmare for someone taking on a Lucasfilm project, getting the chance to tell a story they’re deeply passionate about, and then it fails utterly for reasons entirely outside of their control.
Anyway, without invoking Apollo’s red ball, I do want to talk about a Dooku: Jedi Lost adaptation for a second. Because of course, imagining well done cinematic scenes of certain favorite moments in that book - the Tirra ‘taka or Sifo-Dyas’s sandstorm while Dooku’s blue blade is just cutting down foes left and right - make my nips so hard they just break off and go flying around the room, smashing up the furniture. It’s impossible not to dream “well, what if they just did it really well?”
But here’s where I think it falls apart. Regardless of how you view the platonic or romantic nature of Sifo-Dyas and Dooku's relationship, a good half the book is two male characters having intimate, affirming conversations about their feelings. Can you imagine a Star Wars property where the male leads look at each other and say lines like “you’re here. With me.” or the whole “I’m in.” “I”m in” exchange as their ship literally falls burning from the sky? Disney would probably turn it into a lightsaber fight, and yeah, I’d reblog the shit out of those gifs, but I think it would erase something core that I love in the narrative that is perfectly captured in the medium it’s in right now. Something tender and understated and rare.
....And even if they captured that aspect perfectly, part of the “fandom” that hadn’t seen a Star Wars film since May 2005 would bleat “woke” and complain that their wife left them because someone (me) ruined Count Dooku.
#I've actually been trying to ruin count dooku for years#Happy 🦃🦃🦃!!!#not gonna lie I thought up most of this answer as I was cooking yesterday#and thanks for a fun ask!!!!!#star wars meta#the acolyte#dooku: jedi lost#OH GOD#and can you imagine what they’d do to Lene in a DJL adaptation#who I’ve had my differences with over the years#but is my Girlfriend/Mommy?#I shudder to think
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getting attacked by m*levns on twitter is NOT fun 🙃
anyways they can stay mad lmao
#byler#anti midleven#it’s like they don’t realize their ship is literally falling apart#they call us the delusional ones when in reality it’s them#look ship what you want but do NOT go attacking ppl who don’t like ur ship like plz leave us alone??#let us be happy and fangirl in peace u don’t need to bring the whole damn mood down#just stay on ur side#i fucking hate conflict or arguing honestly so this sucks#but that’s why the block button exists <3#like if u don’t like byler just do urself a favor and block me plz u dont need to spread ur negativity everywhere ffs
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sometimes i remember that most north fans don’t write him as an absolute insane person ethical manipulative girlfriend style and i’m like. what is he even then… just a pleasant white man? you know what. more power to you if you need a pleasant white man for a blorbo but god that could not be me
#most ppl write north as just like. a nice person i think.#i know him though. i know him.#like nork is SUCH a popular ship (at least like. historically) and every time i see it i go ‘haha that would never work’#and then i remember. oh right most ppl write these guys as like. just kind of decent dudes.#nork to me is like. worlds first ethical manipulative girlfriend (not actually ethical) x worlds first manic pixie dream Nice Guy#who both have literally no identity of their own and sure aren’t actually giving each other one#they’d be so miserable…#constant battle of ‘can’t you see what a sacrifice i’m making for you’#neither of them would ever admit anything was wrong. they both think they can fix it forever#just slowly falling apart. it’s fine :) they’re fine :)#n\orkington is even more baffling#i genuinely couldn’t even imagine the dynamic there#like i know it’s pfl uwu baby wash but even still#he’d be so miserable they’d treat him like shit ToT#oh god north/wash. wash run. WASH RUN.#noooo wash my little chameleon you can’t stay with him he’s going to make you his baby bird#he wouldn’t even realize ToT he wouldn’t even know why he’s unhappy. oh god. wash RUNNNNNNN#i just don’t think north should be in a relationship basically#‘what about churchnorth’ okay. let’s be real. do we really think church should be being in a relationship???#their toxicity perfectly cancels each other out into like. something that’s actually good for both of them#wraps all the way back around. horseshoe theory.#okay this has turned into pure rambling. it’s 4am
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……. 😒
#gideon shut the hell up challenge#we got all cozy for bed and went to shuffle through ocs to think of a ship to fall asleep to#except actually. just realized that in Literally Every Verse. ric is still dating yaz at b3 ?????#well. okay. really it’ll depend on how b3 handles the puppet bc we just don’t like the post-prologue breakup bc we want the dinner one#But Unfortunately. thinking abt it . none of fawn’s verse paths let them go to ortega’s apartment#bc fate is cruel and said u have to choose between the other partners or him and we gotta get those polys locked in ���#sometimes we do let him break up w her asap just bc like. lmao. get out of here. but most of the time we don’t#plus honestly now that she’s insane (controlled by someone else) we’re like no go ahead 💅🏻 I wanna see how u handle him
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mouthwashing post. jimmy is a raging narcissist and im tired of people trying to give him benefit of the doubt. his inability to see two feet beyond what immediately concerns him dooms everyone on the tulpar, and even in the end, he only really cares about himself.
big list of all his narcisstic bullshit below bc im here to motherfucking prove it (mouthwashing spoilers of course)
most obviously: everything is a personal attack on him. EVERYTHING. you can see it most clearly at the birthday party; while everyone else is understandably freaking out about being laid off, jimmy starts telling curly off and insulting both him and everyone else at the table, as if being laid off is a personal attack on jimmy specifically. it doesn’t matter that anya has nothing to go back to, that swansea’s life is thrown away- jimmy is the ONLY victim here, apparently. curly is personally responsible for getting laid off, in his eyes.
i don’t actually know the words for this but the way he’s constantly going “i have to do EVERYTHING around here”- again, feeling like its a personal attack to be asked anything at all. anya asks him to take care of curly because her entire fucking life is falling apart, its her end of days, but somehow shes the villain for struggling.
also the general antagonization of anya. she’s extremely competent for the hand she was dealt! shes too poor to attend med school yet shes very knoqledgable in medication and wound care! and yeah no shit shes struggling now, someone she cared deeply about is suffering immensely and now the ship is being “run” by a man who assaulted her. no fucking shit shes breaking down. but jimmy makes it clear time and time again that this is somehow her fault, all this shit of “shouldn’t nurses EARN their titles?” while she’s having a mental breakdown.
similarly, swansea being villainized for holding the cryopod for daisuke and killing him. like, i get it, but jimmy’s whole thing of saying he can fix daisuke is… c’mon man. he’s a hero to himself, he “always” fixes things the same way he “fixed” the ship, and he will fix daisuke and claim heroism even though it’s very clear nothing else can be done for him.
“someday you’ll thank me” while forcing curly to eat his own leg. the incredible confidence that he is in the right even when literally torturing someone.
MOST IMPORTANTLY: the final scene with curly burning. jimmy doesn’t earnestly believe he has anything to be sorry for. even when apologizing to curly he says “we can BOTH be heroes!” despite everything, he still thinks he’s in the right. he STILL thinks he’s a hero, because he’s right, he’s ALWAYS right, surely. he can apologize and grovel all he wants but in the end he still thinks he’s the hero of this story; he doesn’t genuinely think he has anything to right, he’s only doing this to be freed of consequence. and/or believes a simple “sorry” is enough, that it can fix completely ruining the lives of four people with his own inferiority complex.
i do think the choice to put curly in the pod instead of himself is the only time he recognizes his own guilt, if any. maybe it’s realizing that he DOES need something more than a simple “sorry” to even begin to try to fix things, maybe it’s that he thinks this will cement him even further as a hero. even then, does this fix anything? all it’s doing is making curly suffer more. is this actually a good thing?
to him, he’s the hero here. he always is. crashing the ship is a heroic thing, putting all his crewmates through hell is a heroic thing. all because something nobody can control is somehow a personal attack on jimmy.
not to mention all the “hallucinations” he has- it’s what he thinks should happen, it’s what he wants to hear. curly still calling him a friend, the dead corpses of his crewmates praising him, even in the final cutscene with curly burning where he says “no, YOU take the pod”. none of it’s real. it’s just what jimmy thinks is “right”. despite everything, he thinks everyone should thank and praise him, because he can do no wrong.
conclusion: jimmy is a narcisstic piece of shit.
#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#sorry not sorry for being so incredibly fucking passionate abt this#its partially bc. if im being real! i see a lot of my narcisstic mother in jimmy. like almost one to one#so im really really angry abt him.
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˚⟡˖ when you are both idols — RIIZE | maknae line.
ᡣ𐭩 masterlist
genre fluff
pairing idol!riize x idol!reader
click here to see hyung line ver.!
ᯓ★ SEUNGHAN
People literally love your dynamic. You seem like siblings.
You already knew each other before debuting; in fact, you were friends since middle school.
You always practiced together and would hang out for meals after class.
Random fact, but your mom loves him.
You could say that thanks to you two, your fandoms are also like siblings.
Since everyone loved your interactions so much, you were invited several times to be hosts together and also to entertainment shows.
You two have so many famous funny moments together...
Some people have even shipped you two, but you don’t have those feelings at all. You see him as a brother.
A brother who never stops bothering you.
Even though 90% of the time you’re filming content together you’re teasing each other, you also care a lot about each other.
During a stage for your new comeback, your legs gave out, causing you to fall to the ground.
When he found out, he was the first to show up at your apartment with food to cheer you up.
"How can you not rest enough? You shouldn’t overwork yourself."
ᯓ★ SOHEE
You first spoke to Sohee during one of his interviews on MCountdown.
You thought he was so cute!
You couldn’t stop laughing at everything he said and smiling whenever you looked at him.
But it was clear that he was very shy, at least with people he didn’t know.
After the interview, whenever you ran into each other at music shows or award ceremonies, you’d greet each other politely.
It wasn’t until both of your groups were invited to a variety show that you got to talk more with him.
They put you in the same team for some challenges, and there you got to exchange a few words, realizing how funny and playful he was.
By the end of the recording, you were already pretty close and felt comfortable with each other since you shared the same sense of humor.
So, you exchanged phone numbers to talk more and hang out sometime.
The truth is, you had a lot in common and got along really well.
ᯓ★ ANTON
You had seen TikToks of Anton a few times as they appeared on your fyp, so you knew who he was.
In one of your group’s concerts, you had to do individual covers, so you decided to cover Get a Guitar by RIIZE.
You were surprised when they thanked you for covering one of their songs.
But you were even more surprised when Anton recommended one of your songs on Weverse.
He seemed really nice.
But your impression of him changed when you crossed paths with RIIZE at a music show.
You approached him to thank him for recommending your song and to chat a bit with him.
But you didn’t expect him to be so SHY.
He hardly said anything, and the situation became a bit awkward, but at the same time, you found it quite endearing.
Even though he didn’t say more than two words during your whole conversation, he didn’t hesitate to ask for your phone number.
You were also surprised when he asked you to collaborate.
He knew you played the piano, so he asked if you wanted to record a cover with him.
You didn’t hesitate to say yes.
Thanks to the rehearsals, you became closer.
And people loved your cover; they even asked for more!
click here to see hyung line ver.!
#riize#riize imagines#riize scenarios#riize x reader#riize sungchan#riize shotaro#riize anton#riize reactions#riize wonbin#riize smau#riize sohee#riize seunghan#riize eunseok#riize fluff#2amriize#riize one shot#riize one shots
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-> CH. 5: LIVE FOR A CENTURY, LEARN FOR A CENTURY
synopsis: you get hurt while chasing down another deviant. connor is introduced to your cat.
word count: 3.7k
ships: Connor/Reader, Hank Anderson & Reader
notes: i literally got into the most minor car accident ever (like, not even a fender bender. no one got hurt) and i couldn't sleep because i felt so shitty so that's why i'm posting at this ungodly hour (read: 6:30 am) 😭😭
HoFS taglist: @catladyhere (if you'd like to be added to the taglist, just ask!)
HEAD OF FALSE SECURITY MASTERLIST
The elevator shifts and jolts under your feet as it ascends. You catch yourself and splay a hand out on the wall to keep yourself from falling.
“Fucking hate this,” you mumble. “Reminds me of the busted-up khrushchyovka I lived in just outside of St. Petersburg.”
“Was it in the ghetto?” Hank asks from the opposite side of the elevator.
“A slum, more like,” you say. “We don’t have ghettos. Not like here.”
You’re surprised Connor didn’t ask anything about the khrushchyovka. Instead, he’s just standing there, his eyes closed and idling.
The elevator dings, and you open the gate, letting you and Hank out. There isn’t a set of footsteps behind you as you walk.
Hank stops in front of you, looking behind you. You follow Hank’s eyes. Connor’s still idling, his eyes still closed.
“Hey, Connor!” Hank calls. “You run outta batteries or what?”
Connor’s eyes snap open, then he takes in his surroundings, realizing the elevator ride is over. “I’m sorry. I was making a report to CyberLife.”
“Huh,” Hank hums. Connor continues to idle.
You smile. “Are you planning on staying in the elevator?”
“No!” He replies, almost indignant. “I’m coming.”
You laugh under your breath and turn to walk down the hall, not missing the look Hank gives you when he hears the emotion in Connor’s voice.
Hank follows, looking at the chipped paint on the walls and the once-boarded-up windows. “What do we know about this guy?”
“Not much,” Connor says. “Just that a neighbor reported that he heard strange noises coming from this floor. Nobody’s supposed to be living here, but the neighbor said he saw a man hiding an LED under his cap.”
“Oh, Christ,” Hank groans. “If we have to investigate every time someone hears a strange noise, we’re gonna need more cops!”
You come to a stop outside of the door of the suspect’s apartment, double-checking the floor and apartment number. Hank stands beside you, leaning against the doorframe.
“Hey, were you really making a report back there in the elevator?” Hank asks. “Just by closing your eyes?”
“Correct,” Connor says.
“Shit…” Hank mumbles. “Wish I could do that.”
“You could, if you had augmentations,” you say as you look through the peephole. “Not my kind, though. Mine are relatively unintrusive. What I’m talking about is some extreme jack-jaw or port-wrist shit.”
“Whatever.” Hank huffs.
You pull away from the door and sigh. “The peephole’s blocked.”
Connor takes your place and knocks on the door. “Anybody home?”
No response.
He knocks harder, basically banging his fist against the wood. “Open up! Detroit Police!”
There’s sounds from inside. A banging, something falling, frantic footsteps.
Hank immediately takes a step back, drawing his gun. “Stay behind me.”
You backpedal, and Connor holds out an arm to gauge where you are. It brushes against your midsection, like he’s making sure you’re behind him and safe.
Hank hoists a leg and kicks the door down. He points his gun forward as he slowly moves inside, checking corners and doors.
Connor follows him, and you trail after. Hank busts through the last door, causing a cascade of pigeons to fly out.
“What the fuck is this?!” Hank shouts.
You and Connor move after him, entering the apartment. The rank smell of uncleaned bird shit immediately assaults your senses, causing you to cough despite yourself.
“What in the…?” You look around the apartment. Precisely-drawn mazes cover the walls, and pigeons and their mess covers the floor. They hoo and purr amongst themselves, looking at you, Hank, and Connor like you were the ones who didn’t belong here.
“Looks like we came for nothin’,” Hank calls from the other room. “Our man’s gone.”
“Well, we came all this way,” you say. “Let’s at least have a look around.”
You step closer to the wall, looking up at the maze drawn on it. Your eyes trace it – it’s hexagonal, and doesn’t seem to have any exit.
“Any ideas?” Hank says.
“No,” you say. “But he’s definitely an android. No human is this precise. There’s not even a wiggle in the lines or any stray marks.”
“I’ve found something,” Connor calls from the bathroom.
You lean into the doorway. “What, did he leave an expensive shampoo or something? I’m running out.”
“No,” Connor says. He moves to the side, revealing the obsessive writing covering the wall.
“rA9,” he continues. “Written 2471 times. It’s the same sign Ortiz’s android wrote on the shower wall. Why are they obsessed with this sign…?”
“Could be superstition,” you say. “Even if it seems a bit silly. My mother rejected my father’s proposal just because it was on the eighteenth of May – it’s simply bad luck to do any act of romance on the eighteenth of any month. She accepted the next day, just as the clock hit 12:01 AM.”
“Huh. That’s an odd thing to do.” Connor turns to the sink and picks something up.
“It’s superstition. Sometimes it doesn’t make sense.” You shrug. “What’ve you got there?”
“An LED,” Connor says. “It was deactivated just hours ago.”
“So the suspect could’ve known we were coming,” you say. “Or knew he fucked up somehow.”
“Officer, you keep referring to androids with gendered pronouns,” Connor says. “You do know androids don’t have sexes, right?”
“I know.” You shrug. “It’s just hard to call something that walks, talks, acts like a human an it. It feels… dehumanizing. Even if they’re not human.”
You level with Connor’s almost-unblinking gaze. “I know what you’re thinking. But I’m not a sympathizer,” you lie.
You pull away from the doorway, instead looking across the apartment again. You join Hank in peering around, half-assedly investigating. A poster catches your eye – one for the United Farms of Detroit. It’s a union of some sort, you think.
“You Soviets love your unions,” Hank says from somewhere behind you.
“After the Great Purge, we couldn’t take any chances.” You sigh, running a finger along the edge of the poster. “Stalin fucked up a lot of the USSR. But we bounced back. We always do.”
The poster flutters in the wake of your touch, and the corner curls in on itself. You gasp softly as a crack in the wall turns out to be a hole.
You pull the poster off completely, revealing the hole in the wall in its entirety. A journal sits neatly, nestled right next to a small box of .357 Magnum bullets. You flick it open, and inside, is a myriad of jumbles and mirrors of the mazes drawn on the wall.
“Found something?” Hank asks.
“Bullets for a revolver,” you say. “And a journal, but… it’s encrypted.”
You feel a brush against your elbow – soft, but far too solid to be ignored. You gasp and turn, only to see Connor.
“Боже!” You put a hand on your chest. “You scared the shit out of me!”
“I apologize, Officer,” Connor says. “May I see the journal?”
“I, uh… yeah,” you manage to squeak out. You’d take a step back, but your back is basically half a foot away from being flush against the wall.
Connor takes the journal from your hands, flicking through it just as you did. He shows no signs of moving, so you squeeze past him, a nervous hand on his upper arm.
“Sorry,” you whisper as you move past. You can feel your face warm as your front brushes his side and internally curse yourself for being so easily affected.
“You’re right,” Connor says. “It doesn’t match any codes I have in my database. This is a unique script.”
He tucks the journal in one of his inner jacket pockets and turns to investigate the apartment further. You watch as his eyes turn to the ceiling.
“Is that a hole in the ceiling?” You ask. “This place really is falling apart.”
Suddenly, something drops from the hole and sends Connor crashing to the floor. It takes a second to register that it’s a person – or, android, rather. By that time, he’s already run out through the front door.
Connor immediately books it after the suspect, disappearing around the corner. You immediately take after them despite being slow and human.
“He might have a gun!” You call after Connor.
“It does!” He calls back.
Sure enough, you can see a revolver in the android’s hand. He points back and takes a blind potshot that misses both of you entirely.
You count in your mind: five bullets left.
You run across the roof, through greenhouses and over scaffolding. All the while, you count the gunshots: four – three – two.
You come to a screeching halt on the edge of a roof, just watching in shock as Connor jumps from a moving train to another roof. “Твою ж мать!”
“That way!” Hank calls from behind you, out of breath and panting. “The right!”
You break for the scaffolding that connects the two buildings, trying to get ahead. You cut through a building, legs burning as you take the stairs. You burst through the roof exit, and –
Another body immediately collides into yours, and you close your arms around it on instinct. They throw their head back, hitting your nose with a sickening crack. You grunt and your eyes water, but you don’t let go.
What does make you let go is the shocking, electric feeling of something happening to your leg. Your ears ring and you can’t hear your own scream as you collapse, cradling your calf.
You can feel your lips forming curses, feel your vocal cords vibrate as you sputter and cry out. A hand comes to your back, warm and rough and one you recognize as Hank’s.
You can just barely hear him say “Hands off, hands off!” and pull your hands away from the entry wound. You can only faintly translate his words in your mind, but you know every word that leaves your lips is Russian. Thirium spills out and Hank desperately tries to keep it in.
Through your blurred vision, you can see Connor turn the corner. You point after where the deviant went, sputtering “Одна пуля! У него только одна пуля!”
He nods and disappears after him in a blur of moving limbs and blue highlights.
You try to adjust your position to watch him, but a jolt of pain runs up your leg and into your spine. “Блять – Hank!”
“It’s okay, I got you, kid.” He takes a handkerchief from the inside of his jacket, bunching up your pant leg and tying a makeshift tourniquet.
Another gunshot rings out, and there’s the sound of a body falling to the ground. You grab Hank’s hand, stammering out “Connor! See Connor!”
He understands your kind-of-broken English and moves to the edge of the roof, looking over the edge. “It’s okay. The deviant killed itself, not Connor.”
You slump down, your back hitting the hard concrete. You sigh and close your eyes. “Слава богу.”
Hank kneels by your side and gently jostles your shoulder. “How come you never told me you had a prosthetic?”
You open your eyes and look up at him, slightly delirious from shock. “Ты ж ненавидишь андроидов. You hate androids.”
“Yeah, but I don’t hate you,” Hank says. He pats your hand, then stands. “C’mon. Let’s get you up and movin’.”
You sit up and let him move you, supporting you with an arm around your middle. “You’re real fuckin’ stupid sometimes, y’know that?”
“I know, Lieutenant.”
“Officer, please,” Connor says. “I insist that I at least be present while you repair yourself.”
You reach up into the cabinet and push jars of pickling mushrooms and cucumbers aside to find your spare parts. “Connor, I’ll be okay. I was just in shock earlier, and my nose has already been set.”
You pull your toolbox down and start to lay out what you need on the breakfast table. “Besides, I have a cat. She’s somewhere around the apartment. Don’t you like dogs?”
“I can tolerate cats,” Connor says.
You lay down a towel on the table, then sit and hoist your calf onto the towel. “Well, she probably won’t tolerate you.”
Connor pulls up a chair next to you, eyeing the damage to your leg. He pulls off his blazer and drapes it on the back of the chair, then rolls up his sleeves. “At least let me supervise the repairs.”
“Fine,” you sigh. “Supervise all you want.”
You pick up a soldering iron and switch on the heating component. You gently pry a piece of metal away from your prosthetic, then cut it loose with the iron.
“Your hands are shaking,” Connor says.
“No, they’re not,” you snap. Then, you pause and realize that he’s right. “I… okay. What do you want me to do about it?”
“Let me do the repairs.” He leans an elbow on the table and leans closer to you. “I’m an android, so you can trust me to be perfectly precise. If I mess up, I promise I’ll let you take over.”
You sigh and hand over the soldering iron. Connor takes it in one hand and steadies your leg with the other. You breathe out slowly, shakily at the touch.
To his credit, his movements are smooth and precise. All of his concentration is focused on what he’s doing right now.
After a few minutes, you quietly ask, “Why are you doing this?”
“It would be…” Connor pauses. “Detrimental if you weren’t able to accompany me and Hank on further cases. Less-than-ideal repairs could possibly cause worse damage than what was there initially.”
“Right,” you say softly.
“May I ask you a question, Officer?” Connor asks, still concentrating.
“Yeah,” you say. “What is it?”
“You acted like you were in… pain when your prosthetic got shot,” Connor says. “Why was that?”
“Phantom limb phenomenon,” you say. “Everything happened too quickly. My brain remembered what it should be feeling. So it just replayed the… the memory of…”
You look away, out the window. You swallow thickly, suppressing your words. Connor doesn’t need to know this. “Nevermind.”
“The memory of what, Officer?” Connor prompts.
“Nothing,” you say. “It’s nothing.”
You can see Connor glance at you out of the corner of your eye. He then looks away, instead focusing on the repairs.
Your eyes catch a flicker of movement in the hallway. It’s a small head and two pointed ears, peeking out of the doorway to your bedroom. Two green eyes, dilated in the low light, blink slowly at you.
“Бронислава,” you say softly. Her ears perk up in response to hearing her name.
“Bronislava?” Connor parrots.
You point down the hall. “My cat. She’s shy.”
Connor lifts the soldering iron and looks over his shoulder. As soon as Bronislava registers his eyes on her, she darts back into the room.
“She’ll come around,” you say. “She was the same way with Hank.”
Connor turns back to your calf. He’s nearly done with the internal work.
“How are you so good at that?” You ask. “Have you done this before?”
“No,” Connor says. “I just have an intricate knowledge of android parts and biocomponents.”
“That inspires confidence,” you mumble.
Connor huffs out a laugh. “I heard that.”
You lean back in your chair and adjust yourself, your knee knocking against Connor’s. “No, you didn’t.”
You smile to yourself as you replay the sound of Connor’s under-the-breath laugh in your mind. It was nice, even if it only lasted for a second. A weird feeling settles in your chest, like there’s something wrong with your diaphragm.
“Are you okay, Officer?” Connor asks. “I detect an elevated heart rate and increased rate of breathing.”
“I’m fine,” you lie. “Just excited to get my repairs done, is all. I’ve done this enough times to know you’re almost done with the internals.”
“Hm.” Connor hums, then continues his work. You take the opportunity to take in his bare arms – it’s a rare sight. There really isn’t anything out of the ordinary about his forearms, no scars or blemishes, but you still appreciate it.
Connor breaks into your line of thought. “May I ask you another question?”
“Yeah?” You say.
“It’s about Lieutenant Anderson,” Connor says. “Why does he hate androids so much?”
You feel your stomach sink. You look away and sigh sharply. “I’m not at liberty to answer that question.”
Connor stays silent this time. You’re kind of thankful for that.
Bronislava peeks her head out of the doorway again, her eyes on Connor. You smile to yourself as you hear the bell on her collar just barely jingle. “Don’t look now, but Бронислава is looking at you. She’s curious.”
“Why is she curious about me?” Connor asks.
“I don’t bring a lot of people back to my apartment,” you say. “I try to keep my work life and private life as separate as possible.”
You lean down a little and tap at one of the legs of your chair, then snap your fingers and click your tongue. “Бронислава! Иди сюда, детка.”
She lets out a soft, sort-of meow and rubs her cheek against the doorway. You laugh and coo, snapping your fingers again. “Сюда, девочка!”
“Does she only respond to Russian?” Connor asks.
“Mostly,” you say. “She just responds better than English. Maybe it’s the way my voice changes when I speak Russian.”
You glance over at Connor. “Do you… know Russian?”
“I have a built-in translator,” Connor says. “But I haven’t spoken Russian before.”
“Try,” you say. “Repeat after me: Бронислава! Сюда, девочка!”
“брани–бранислава,” he tries in a sing-song tone. “Сюда, девочка.”
No, he doesn’t roll his r’s or pronounce the words quite right, but it still sparks a bloom of warmth in your chest. You bite the inside of your lip to keep from smiling.
Bronislava peeks further out, her paws on the hardwood floor instead of the carpet of the bedroom she came from. Her bell sounds, soft and tinkling.
“She might like your voice,” you say.
When you glance at Connor, he’s smiling. Then, you look down at your leg – he’s nearly done sealing the externals. The white plastic is slowly fading away, replaced by a wave of color matching your skin tone.
“How much longer?” You ask.
“Twenty-seven seconds,” Connor responds.
You sit back and watch Bronislava tentatively sniff the air as Connor finishes up. Her whiskers twitch and her mouth opens as she takes in Connor’s new, intrusive smell.
Connor smoothes his hand over your leg. “I’m done.”
You shiver slightly at the contact and pull your leg away, instead drawing your knee to your chest and resting your foot on the chair. You take the towel and wipe your leg of spilled Thirium, then hand it to Connor so he can wipe his hands.
“Look at Бронислава,” you say softly. “But don’t make it obvious.”
Connor slowly cranes his neck, looking down the hallway out of the corner of his eye. His face lights up a little when Brotislava comes into his view.
“Ah,” he says. “I see her.”
As soon as Bronislava sees that Connor’s eyes are on her again, she retreats back to the safety of the bedroom.
“Damn,” you huff. You stand, trying out Connor’s repair. You lean a little on it and put weight on it – it holds.
You put a hand on Connor’s blazer. “Can I take this? To introduce her to your scent.”
“Go ahead,” Connor says.
You take his blazer and retreat to your bedroom. You find Bronislava under your bed, her eyes so dilated you can’t see her irises.
“Эй, красотка,” you say softly. You snap your fingers with your free hand. “Это всего лишь я.”
She slowly creeps forward, sniffing the air. She smells the blazer in your hand, which is surprisingly soft despite its stiffness. (You’re tempted to mirror her and smell it, but you immediately mentally slap yourself and call yourself a creep, even though the thought didn’t actualize.)
“Видишь? Всё хорошо,” you say, still with that quiet, docile tone. “Это всего лишь Коннор.”
Bronislava slowly crawls out from underneath your bed, inching towards the exit to the hallway. You follow her, staying on her level.
“Connor!” You whisper-shout once you’re in the hallway, Bronislava by your side. “She’s coming towards you. But don’t look at her.”
“Okay, Officer,” Connor says. Even though he’s facing away from you, you can hear the smile in his voice. “What will she do?”
“She’ll probably sniff you,” you say, watching as she inches along, sticking close to the baseboards. “Don’t move a muscle once she does.”
Bronislava glances back at you. “Давай, детка!” You encourage. She turns around and looks at Connor’s back, then continues crawling forward.
“She’s approaching your six,” you say, your tone faux-serious. “Contact imminent.”
Connor laughs. “Acknowledged.”
Bronislava nervously sniffs at the legs of Connor’s chair, then moves on and sniffs at his ankles.
“Her whiskers are tickling me,” Connor says.
“Just don’t move!” You laugh.
Bronislava continues exploring, if with a bit of nervousness. She sniffs at the hem of Connor’s jeans, then bites at a loose string.
Then, Connor moves a fraction of an inch. It sets Bronislava off, and she dashes past you and back into the bedroom.
You lean in the doorway, watching as she disappears under the bed again. “Ох, моя бедняжка… Всё в порядке.”
“I’m sorry,” Connor says. “I was just trying to scan her…”
“It’s okay.” You stand, his blazer still in hand. “She usually just hides around new people. I’m proud of her. And she does seem to like you.”
“She likes me?” Connor says, a bit of excitement in his tone.
“You sound like a teenager.” You laugh and stand up. You walk over to the table and drape Connor’s blazer over the back of his chair. “Thanks for letting me borrow that, by the way.”
“Of course,” Connor says.
You move to the side and start to pack your spare parts away in your little toolbox, mentally noting the things you need to replace.
“One more thing,” Connor says. “Why didn’t you tell me you had a prosthetic?”
Your hands still. “It…” you sigh. “I don’t like talking about it. That’s it. It didn’t pertain to the investigation, and you didn’t ask about it, so I didn’t mention it.”
Connor’s LED flickers yellow, then returns to a calm blue. “Understood.”
#riptide writes 🌊#head of false security#dbh connor x reader#connor rk800 x reader#rk800 x reader#connor x reader#detroit become human#dbh connor#dbh rk800#dbh x reader#detroit become human x reader#dbh connor x you#connor rk800 x you#rk800 x you#connor x you#dbh x you#detroit become human x you#connor rk800
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omg I can absolutely request something for kix, literally I'll take anything i love him so much
i'm not too fussy but maybe something hurt/comfort vibes with non-established relationship? if that takes your fancy, can be sfw or nsfw however it works out
love your writing sm :)
Watching Over You
Summary: ou know that Kix is “dealing” with his new truth by not dealing with it, and you know it’s only a matter of time before he falls apart. You’ll be there for him, until he no longer needs you.
Pairing: Pre Pirate!Kix x GN!Reader
Word Count: 1113
Warnings: Kix is straight up not having a good time.
A/N: So, this could be seen as platonic or pre-romantic, but I'm happy with it, but that might just be because it's Kix. Anyway, I hope you like it!
Click HERE to be added to my taglist
“Alright, we’re all set,” You say as you step out of the shop while tugging your new gloves over your hands, “You sure you don’t need anything while we’re here?”
“From Nar Shaddaa?” Kix asks, as he tears his gaze away from a stall selling, probably stolen, speeders. “Hard pass. How do you know those are going to be any good?”
“Leather gloves are leather gloves, babe.” You counter as you hold your, now glove-covered, hands in front of your face, “They don’t need to be the best leather gloves in the galaxy, they just need to be able to protect my hands from the cold.”
Kix huffs, “You should let me run some blood tests. There’s no reason for you to be cold all of the time–”
“Hard pass, Doc.” You counter, “If I’m dying from some blood disease, I don’t want to know.”
Kix sighs again, and finally focuses his attention on you, “You’re impossible.”
“And yet still so adorable.”
“You keep telling yourself that.”
“Thanks! I will.”
He shoots you a look, and you grin at him, “Come on, Kix. Let’s get out of here before the Hutts take offense at our presence.”
“Yeah, yeah.” He falls into step next to you, while you chatter his ear off about anything and everything that crosses your mind.
In the almost year that you’ve known, and traveled, with Kix, you’ve learned that he doesn’t like quiet. When there’s too much quiet he gets lost in his own mind, and starts spiraling.
And so, you fill the silence with stories, with mindless chatter, with music or movies or shows. Anything and everything you can do to make his suffering a little easier, you will do.
Honestly, you’ve never spoken so much in your life as you have in the past year.
You stop mid-sentence, when you glance to the side and realize that Kix is no longer walking with you. Quickly, you scan the crowd around you, and you quickly find him.
At first, you’re not sure what caught his attention, but as you approach him, you see what his gaze is locked on, and your heart sinks. He’s standing in front of an electronics store. An electronics store that has a massive holo showing a documentary about Darth Vader and his 501st.
Your jaw clenches and you slowly exhale, before you move to his side and wrap your arms around his arm, “Kix.” You keep your gaze on his face, on the pained, almost lost, expression that he wears when he’s lost in the past, “It’s time to go.”
He doesn’t react to your voice, but he also doesn’t stop you when you start tugging him away from the shop. And he doesn’t fight you when you walk him back to the spaceport and back to your ship.
In fact, in spite of your chatter, Kix is completely silent.
He doesn’t say anything until you’re back on your ship. “Hey, can we wait a bit before we take off?”
You watch him for a moment, “Why?”
“I’d like a proper shower, and the water shower doesn’t work properly in space.” Kix replies.
“Mm, yeah. Okay.”
You pretend that you don’t notice him grabbing the portable holo as he heads into the fresher, and half an hour later, when you hear a quiet sob from the fresher, you turn on some music so he can have some privacy.
There’s no way for you to understand his grief.
Kix once had 2 million brothers…and now he’s alone in the galaxy. Only, he’s not alone, he has you, and he’ll continue to have you until he no longer needs you. And even then, you’ll stick around until he tells you to leave.
Personal loyalty to your friends has always been your fatal flaw, according to your old school teachers.
When he finally emerges from the fresher, his eyes are red and he looks exhausted. Bone deep exhausted.
You watch him for a moment, and then you sigh, “Kix,”
He glances at you, “I’m fine.”
“You’re not okay, Kix. And that’s okay.” You set the bowl that you were using to make some meatballs on the counter and walk over to him to take his hands in yours, “I...have given you your space, but maybe I shouldn’t have.”
“Listen, you don’t have to do this.”
You squeeze his hands, “Yes, I do. I…cannot even begin to understand the kind of loss that you suffered. I can’t. No one can. But you’re not alone in this.”
“My whole family is dead, cyare.”
“That doesn’t mean you’re alone.” You counter, “I will be here for you, for as long as you accept it. And probably longer.”
He stares at you, and then he sighs and drops his cheek on the top of your head while hooking his arms around your waist, “I don’t deserve you.”
“You’re wrong about that too, but I can be patient with you.”
The pair of you don’t say anything for a while, “What are you making?”
“Meatballs. We’re having pasta for dinner. With homemade noodles.”
“Huh. Have you made the dough yet?”
You smile at him, “Nope, I know you like that part. The ingredients are in the fridge.”
Later, as he’s kneading the dough while you sing along to the radio and form meatballs, he turns down the music and glances at you out of the corner of his eye.
“What’s up?” You ask, without looking at him.
“Can I sleep with you tonight? I don’t want to be alone.”
“Whatever you need, Kix. You just need to ask.” You reply, turning to look at him with a fond smile on your face.
He’s quiet for a moment, and then he sighs, “Also…?”
“Hm?”
“Do you think you can put me in contact with Luke Skywalker? I’d like to get to know him…and maybe share some stories about his dad.”
“Mm, I don’t know if I can get you in contact with Master Skywalker, but I can probably get you in contact with General Organa-Solo.” You reply lightly, “She might be able to get you in touch with Master Skywalker.”
“...thanks, cyare.”
“Like I said, Kix. Whatever you need. For however long you need it.”
The pair of you go back to your respective projects and as you finish forming the last meatball and pull your food prep gloves off, he reaches over and takes your hand in his, “Thank you.”
You grin at him and thread your fingers with his to give his hand a squeeze, “No worries, Kix. I’ll watch over you until you’re ready to look after yourself. And then I’ll keep doing it. That’s what I do.”
@imabeautifulbutterfly
@n0vqni
@bad4amficideas
@justiceandwar98
@mira-loves-star-wars
@tiredbi-peach
@dukeoftheblackstar
@trixie2023
@kimiheartblade
@padawancat97
@falconfeather23435
@etod
@bb8-99
@kiss-anon
@continous-mistakes
@yoitsjay
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@cc--2224
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@maniacalbooper
@rebell-ious
#star wars#star wars legends#clone medic kix x reader#kix x reader#star wars fanfiction#x reader fanfiction#gn!reader fic#answered asks#future kix
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a phone that won’t ring
a/n: third time’s the charm? if this doesn’t post this time, u heard it here first: tumblr is homophobic 😤
word count: 1k
type: drabble/short story
tags: fluff, angst, i keep pretending like i know what it’s like to be an idol, they love each other so much but time is their biggest enemy fr fr
gif credits: @jigujellee
it’s hard dating kim minji. it was like one day, she was just your girlfriend. the girl who would hold your hand and swing it a little too hard on walks by the han river until both of you lose your balance. the girl who would wrap you with her sweater because she had a possessive streak and she liked you wearing her clothing. the girl who would kiss you senseless when she had to leave for practice even though she promised to call you when she got back to the dorms.
and then the next, she was the unofficial leader of k-pop’s arguably hottest girl group.
soon, the girl who would turn on the strangest filters when she video called you to make you laugh turned into the girl who would organize her members together as they interacted with millions of fans all across the world.
minji always tries her best to make sure you don’t feel like you’ve fallen behind. she talks about you to her members. she mentions that a ‘friend’ bought her the beautiful necklace that a fan comments on when she’s on vlive. she always wears that necklace - no matter where she is. in every single of the thousands of pictures of minji at the airport, she’s wearing that necklace.
to the extent that people began spreading rumors that jungwon of enhypen and minji of newjeans were dating and that was their couple necklace. minji had laughed about it when she called you when those rumors first came out.
“i don’t think i’ve ever even been within ten feet of jungwon. people will say anything if you’re the same age as someone else. or honestly, if they just think you’re shippable with them. how ridiculous is that,” minji snorts as she fingers the sapphire necklace thoughtlessly.
you try to laugh, nodding as your mind wanders. “yeah. so ridiculous.”
that night, you spent a good three hours searching up jungwon and fall down a rabbit hole of jungwon x minji ships on tiktok. you try to ignore the sinking feeling in your stomach when you realize just how well jungwon and minji match each other.
leaders. thoughtful. kind. so incredibly beautiful.
you weren’t bad looking - you knew that. and you knew that minji loved every single part of you, no matter how much you got in your head about it. but it was different for her. she didn’t even think about things that deep.
“have you ever noticed how uneven my eyes are? it’s like they’re on separate floors on my face,” you said one day, as minji’s not on camera for a second because she’s washing her face after practice. minji ducks into frame, white foam still on her face from her cleanser as she looks at you incredulously.
“y/n, i don’t think so at all. honestly, i don’t even know what you’re talking about; your eyes look fine to me,” she says, before ducking out of frame once more to wash the rest of the foam off of her face. minji can still see that you’re not completely comforted yet and she holds up her phone at an incriminating angle, as though she was scrutinizing your face.
“y/n, i literally see the most beautiful pair of eyes that could ever exist. you’re too hard on yourself. i promise no one sees what you think that they do. all they see is how kind you are and how genuine you are,” minji says and she can see the small smile that you’re trying to fight away and she considers her girlfriend duties to be fulfilled. for the moment, at least.
but that was a year ago, before newjeans was formed and before you started seeing minji’s face more often on billboards than in the comfort of her arms on a quiet date in your apartment.
now, when you get insecure about the tiny little things you don’t like about yourself, you stare longingly at the phone that you’re waiting for to ring, hoping that your girlfriend will call and wash all your insecurities away.
she tries her best - she really does. minji calls you whenever she can, even if she has to call you at 3 in the morning in america so she can catch you before you head to class. she’ll send presents to your door instead of actually showing up because she doesn’t want to compromise your safety.
and she will never take off that necklace. that beautiful sapphire necklace that you gifted her on her 16th birthday, with your first paycheck. the one that has your initials carved into it on a tiny little dog tag that falls down her back.
but it feels a little colder in your apartment meant for love when minji isn’t there to shelter you in her arms and cover your eyes during scary movies. you can’t help but checking her location (which she had shared with you soon after she debuted) to see when she would get home. more often than not, you would fitfully fall asleep before you could see her arrive at home. and you watch a phone that won’t ring until ungodly hours.
when she does call, minji tries to be as lively and attentive as she was before she was being flown out to a different country almost everyday. but you can see the eye bags that give away just how hard she truly is working. and you force yourself to tell her goodbye before you really want to because you want her to get at least a couple hours of precious rest that she doesn’t get too often.
it’s all worth it, you try to tell yourself. when minji finally gets a couple hours where she isn’t forced to be doing something, and she manages to bundle herself up and sneak into your apartment, it is worth. even when she gets a call from her manager that she has to be at the hybe building within the next hour, while she can hold you, it’s worth it.
dating kim minji is hard. but it’s all worth it in the end. it has to be.
#jnnul#newjeans fic#newjeans x reader#minji x reader#newjeans scenarios#newjeans#newjeans drabble#newjeans minji#minji fic#minji drabble#minji fluff#newjeans fluff#kim minji#kim minji fluff#kim minji x reader#newjeans angst#minji angst
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Saw Yandere Susan and decided I would like Yandere Edmund <3
ft. edmund pevensie x f! reader — the chronicles of narnia
╰₊✧ hiding you away on the dawn treader┊0.7k words
setting: voyage of the dawn treader contains: yandere edmund!! unhealthy obsessive & possessive behavior!! kidnapping & isolation!! force-feeding, reader has lots of hate & lots of swearing, lucy knows
➤ author's note: your timing is impeccable i was literally thinking about that this morning (also send the link for the yandere susan, it’s a need)
“come on, quit being a brat, you need to eat something,” edmund muttered holding up a spoon of vegetable stew to your mouth, a delicacy when traveling on the waters for as long as you have been. normally, you would be delighted to finally eat something green, but this situation was anything but and you outright refused.
“fuck off!” your voice strained and raspy for hours of useless screaming through the frayed rope that kept your mouth shut in a futile attempt to get someone to hear your pleas for help. you realize now that you’re a fucking idiot for not waiting until he undid it to feed you before trying.
while everyone else was saddened the kings and queens of old had to leave after the victory over the telmarines, you were secretly ecstatic that you would no longer have to deal with the overly obsessive just king who was insufferable with his jealous bouts. you had no idea what you did to attract his attention or how a smartass like him still hasn’t gotten the hint you weren’t interested, but he was extremely persistent in his pursuit and you can see nothing has changed during the time you were apart. it actually has become much worse with the distance now closed.
and somehow you still managed to get cornered by him and woke up in the bowels of the dawn treader with barely any light, but maybe that’s for the best since you detest seeing his face. it’s only been one day, but you knew someone would come looking for you eventually. the ship may be massive and fit for a king like caspian, but it was still only a finite space without many places to hide.
“you’re so goddamn stubborn.” his hand gripped your jaw and forced it open, sticking the carved wood into your mouth and making you choke on the soup.
you didn’t want to eat anything he was offering out of fear it was drugged and out of adamant refusal to yield to him, but you were honestly too weak to reject the much-needed sustenance, not when the warm liquid soothed your sore throat and filled your empty stomach. you were willing to swallow your pride and the vegetables this time to conserve your energy, hoping you could use it later to try and escape from his insanity.
“why am i even here?”
edmund hastily wiped off the excess that got on your chin with his sleeve, tutting in disappointment at the little mess like it was your fault when you were being tied up. “you should have seen this coming.”
“what did i do?!”
“talk to thomas,” he hissed. “you were all over him—”
“i don’t even know who that is!” you racked your brain to try to think of who this “thomas” could have been out of the countless men on this boat, what you could have possibly done to make edmund this upset over it, and why the fuck he thought he had any right to be mad about it in the first place!
“don’t even try to deny it.” he finally got up when the bowl was empty and you were all cleaned up, “i’ll be back when night falls.”
“i hope you fall off the ship! don’t come back, asshole— i would rather starve down here than—”
he left before you could continue your angry rant, locking the door behind him and slipping the key into his pocket. he had done all this in a fit of rage without any idea what his next move would be. he’s never been so irrational before, but he’s certain he would figure it out.
although, he didn’t have the heart to look in lucy’s eyes when she asked him if he’d seen you. he just knows she’s severely worried and torn between helping you or keeping quiet for his sake, and he knows she’ll eventually choose you over him when he’s in the wrong— the only thing he doesn’t know is when.
he already knows he’s in massive trouble when it comes to lucy, but if caspian found out he was keeping his adopted sister hostage, his head would be on the line.
#📜. her works#edmund pevensie#edmund pevensie x reader#the chronicles of narnia fanfiction#the chronicles of narnia x reader#the chronicles of narnia#narnia#narnia x reader#narnia fanfiction#yandere narnia#yandere edmund pevensie#dark narnia#dark edmund pevensie
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I’m approaching 27 which means that we are now in this unexpected period of life where we need to replace all of our “good enough for now” things that we got super cheap (or free from family) when we first started living on our own. I am realizing that it is VERY difficult to get rid of things, not just from an emotional attachment standpoint but also:
“Well it technically DOES still work even if it’s unpleasant and falling apart” (especially applicable to ugly/uncomfortable furniture)
“We don’t have to get rid of it, we can always repair it” (it is literally broken and falling apart)
“Wouldn’t it be Bad and Consumeristic to just throw something away that isn’t actually broken just because I want a new one?” (this one plagues me)
“Getting a New Thing would be way too expensive” (hasn’t even checked the price of a replacement, I absolutely can afford it but it would cost more than $50)
Even when I’ve fought through those arguments (which is very hard to do considering these are things I learned while growing up during the 2008 recession and struggling financially due to severe illness and death in the family when I was young) and come out the other side determined to actually replace something, a new issue arises. “How am I going to get rid of the old thing?”
“I can’t donate this because it’s broken or stained”
“I want to sell this but this requires a lot of energy that I don’t have (photographing the item, pricing the item, posting an ad for the item, sorting through offers for the item, arranging pickup for the item, possibly even shipping the item)”
“I want to throw this away but it’s too large to put in the garbage so it must go on the curb and I don’t know the protocol for that”
“I want to throw this away but it’s too large to put in the garbage and too broken to give away so it must go to the dump and I don’t have a vehicle I can use to take this there so I will need to reach out to family for help”
“I want to throw this away but I’m not sure how to do so in an Environmentally Friendly way”
This sort of situation is a nightmare for my mentally ill mind, and it results in me simply giving up and putting up with keeping the shitty item I know I want to replace and repeating the same excuses to myself to justify it enough that I don’t break down in frustrated tears every time I look at the thing I’ve been wanting to get rid of for months.
I’m sick of it though. I am tired of having to put up with being stuck with something I don’t like just because it’s not “bad enough” to justify going through the stress of removing from my life. I am tired of living with these things that I want to get rid of taking up the space I want to give to something new that I do love that I picked out myself on purpose. I am tired of my own happiness not being a good enough reason to justify doing something difficult or inconvenient. I am approaching 30. I don’t want to live the next decade of my life like I’ve lived the first two, just dealing with what’s been given to me and not saying no, incapable of removing things I don’t like to make space for things I do.
#talk#this started as a vent about my couch and my lawnmower and my deck furniture and my car#ended a lot more metaphorical and emotional than expected#but. yeah.#I want my life to be something I chose on purpose#not just whatever I’ve been given#I think I deserve better than that#but also for real why is it so fucking hard to just throw something away!!!#IMO this is partly an infrastructure issue specifically when it comes to things I don’t know HOW to throw away#also there should be more trash categories#I’m sick of things I can’t recycle being tossed in a landfill when they could be composted#but I live in a second story apartment so I can’t compost it myself#also there are many things that I can’t recycle but also SHOULD NOT go in a landfill#that’s one of those things that stresses me out a lot#environmentalism is important to me#wish it was more accessible#ALSO!!!!#what do I do with old potting soil that’s lost nutrients? do I just fertilize the soil in a pot if a plant is doing poorly because it’s been#in the same pot for 4 years#??#do I just NOT replace the soil?#I think i do need to replace the soil but what do I do with the old stuff????#again. second story apartment. so I can’t just put it in the yard.#also even if I could I don’t know if I should!! what if I spread diseases or bacteria or invasive plants!!!#do I toss it in the woods nearby? same issue as before!!!!#do I! once again!! just put up with keeping this old dirt!!!!!!!!!#I don’t want to be burdened by a giant tub of old fucking dirt of all things!!!!!!!#WHY IS IT SO HAAAARD#I DONT WANNA BE A HOARDERRRR
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Sorry but I’m here to rant…I get so fckin mad when people hate on Manorian and say they were purely lust and had no real bond.They clearly have no reading apprehension because there are straight out lines in the books confirming the opposite and are mad Manorian is way hotter then their boring faves.Of course people have different tastes but I’ll never understand spreading hate and literal misinformations everywhere.I always report on these people…
Also how hooowww can they say they aren’t endgame after Dorian literally saying “There’s only one witch who will be my queen.”…Unbelievable…
THIS.
I can understand how people don’t connect to them because I don’t always connect to ships either, but I think they expect this intense romance like the other ships but their past/traumas don’t give them that luxury and I’m not saying the other ships don’t have that at as well but they allow themselves to open up sooner.
Does it start with some lust? Sure, but that’s not all it is.
(I’m gonna rant a bit)
Dorian is the only main character in the series to never say “I love you” outloud to someone and there’s a huge reason why. We know why Manon is so closed off and not wanting to be vulnerable, even with those she’s known for 100+ years, she doesn’t even say it until Abraxos in KOA.
For Dorian it seems like he’d be someone to say it but in ToG we hear how Dorian did fall for a “fiery” girl (Rosamund I think) and then she left and married another.
Then he falls for Celaena and is ready to “tear the world apart with his bare hands” and wants to tell her he loves her but she breaks it off with him and pushes him away and falls for his best friend (I am not faulting her, just saying what happened) again, making him feel like the second choice.
Then a few books later he finds comfort and love in someone different, someone softer and seemingly more open where he finally feels like he’s the first choice and she’s ripped away from him in one of the most brutal ways, by his own father, while he was helpless after literally BEGGING him to spare her.
Side note this just made me realize what Dorian meant by “I am never begging for anything again.” Because of that outcome, and OUCH
So now he’s had his heart broken over and over again and then immediately after, he’s a slave for months. Forced to torture and kill his friends, while being torn apart internally while he can do nothing about it. He can’t even remember who he was and relives her death over and over and the FIRST reprieve he has is this beautiful woman who gives him his voice and allows him to remember his name after what felt like eons to him.
Then he’s forced back into that darkness and pain when she’s gone, but he latches onto her and her name and holds on after saying he didn’t want to fight and when he was forced to enjoythe pain he caused. Manon thinks of him to pay her debt to Aelin, she thinks of him and can’t even think of why when she checks up on him in Rifthold.
Then in EOS she goes to save him, she feels a part of herself “wake up” at his half smile and his tone, the way he doesn’t balk and doesn’t fear her. She talks about how he has seen death and worse and has that dark part of him that was forced to enjoy it when he was collared and she relates to that because of what she learns about her past in EoS.
Then after everything, he goes to save her as she did with him, no thought of himself, sprinting across the ship and jumping into the ocean so she wouldn’t drown and when he sees that she looks intent on dying he pokes at her and teases her and tries to stoke something in her like she was able to do with him.
She also comforts him without needing to when he talks about how he enjoyed killing the Ilchen and was forced to enjoy killing while collared. Sure, she does it in the Manon way, but he bites right back in the Dorian way and THEN there’s the lust.
Then she sees that part of her that’s drawn to him more physically and let’s her guard down (physically).
Lysandra talks about how she is different and dangerous and everything Dorian shouldn’t want after what he has gone through but everything he needs. She doesn’t judge him, doesn’t pity him or coddle him. He says he’d raze the continent for what was done to Sorscha and Manon accepts and agrees and he’s relieved. We see that fierce protectiveness when he talks about wanting to take time and pleasure in killing her grandmother for hurting her and we see her say he tastes foreign yet familair and allows herself to be vulnerable for the first time in 100+ years.
We see in KoA that they do talk in depth about what his father did to him, what her grandma did to her, what happened to Sorscha and Manon’s sister. We don’t SEE these conversations but we know they happened because of context and the details that are said and I feel like people ignore this.
We see Manon at the most vulnerable she’s ever been, admitting that she cares and admitting she doesn’t want to lose him and how those hours waiting for him to come back on Narene we some of the longest of her life.
There are no grand romantic proclamations (out loud, but if you pay attention in their POVs and how Manon had to fight herself to not fly to morath, “to him” and “there is only one witch will be my queen”…we all know) but those lovey dovey, super open “I love yous “ and “sweet nothings” aren’t who they are.
Manon JUST started to understand that she was capable of caring and Dorian was burned too many times to allow that vulnerability again, he didn’t even open up to Chaol or Aelin at that point.
That’s not who they are and though they were growing to that point in the short time they, the love and care is still there, still in context if you pay attention.
They challenge eachother but listen and respect eachother and accept all aspects even if they don’t always agree and I LOVE their love and the way it’s not blatantly stated but in the nuances of their story.
Thanks for coming to my Ted talk. (I didn’t proofread this so oops)
#throne of glass#manon blackbeak#dorian havilliard#manorian#sjm universe#manon x dorian#sarah j maas#celaena sardothien#rowan whitethorn#rowaelin#dorian x sorscha#sorscha#throne of glass rant#asks
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I have an oc based on Y/N from the Butterfly Effect by Samsea and Y/N from The Fear of Falling Apart by Ieesneedtostop (these may just open up to the chapters I was on)
But I realized I have no idea what she looks like and I actually want to put her in some of my stories so I think I’m going to try to cement down her look when I’m to dizzzy to pack (we’re moving because my husband is leaving the army!)
So yeah I will reblog this with Sophia my oc that I ship with Lloyd at some point in the future
😔😅👉👈 but if people could ask questions about her or anything else they are curious about I would really appreciate it. I’m really bored and having some questions to consider and think about would be great and also it would be nice to be distracted from the anxiety of living in the same state as my parents again.
It can literally be about anything, if I don’t know the answer I will find an answer (hopefully the right one)
#ninjago#ninjago lloyd#lego ninjago#ninjago fanfiction#wattpad#oc#oc based off of y/n#questions#ask#please ask me things#lloyd garmadon
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What are your predictions for HOTD season 2?
Erm disappointment 🙃 🤣🤣🤣
Okay um, I’m hoping that after Blood & Cheese plays out(which should happen by episode 2) we see more of the Alicent from episodes 6 and 7 I’ll do whatever to protect my children and myself Alicent rather than I don’t know what the hell is going on Alicent from episode 8 and 9. I need to see politically competent Alicent.
House Hightower will be great(I just really want to see the inside of Hightower. That’s all I ask for).
The Lannisters get to show off again that they are rich b*tches💰(Jason will show how much of a lovable idiotic flop he is).
Daeron will be the new it boy(still won’t overtake Aemond or Daemon, but he’ll give them a run for their money).
Dumbnyra will be away from each other for most of the season from what I’ve heard(and as their #1 hater outside of Ryan Condal that is music to my ears🎼).
Daemon will be trying to prove himself because finding out his brother dearest didn’t trust him/never saw him as his heir is a crushing blow for him, but he’ll be better than ever once he meets his Netty 😏 He’ll acknowledge that Rhaena exists and they’ll have a heart to heart 🙏🏽(Ryan have him talk to his only daughters 🙃).
Rhaena will get a dragon egg and realize that she was a cool girl all along😎
(Or she’ll pull a Mulan, dye her hair, and become a nurse for the Green camp. At the end of season 2, she meets Gwayne/Garmund/Daeron in disguise who is injured the two fall in love. She nurses him back to health as the world around them falls apart. Eventually, they marry in secret, comfort each other as their family members die by one, and survive the war together. They are each other's glue, they have lots of babies, and recently hatched Morning approves🐉. This isn’t fanfiction guys. Ryan Condal leaked this to me himself😎).
Aegon will become a sad hoe(literally).
Helaena will just speak in prophecies(I mean she already does this, but she'll really amp up predicting stuff, including everyone's death).
Criston finds out about the situation(🤢) and beats and/or threatens Larys creepy a** for Alicent(that nasty foot hoe deserves it 🤷🏽♀️).
Aemond feels the burden of his responsibilities when Aegon is injured and he becomes regent(setting the stage for him finding comfort in Alys for season 3).
Rhaenyra will be a more active participant since they want to make her into a #girl-boss feminist(Seeing Nettles claiming Sheepstealer will shake her up a bit).
Mysaria will say her involvement with Blood & Cheese was revenge for the children in the fighting pits(still doesn’t make sense but they made her into a “child activist”).
Baela will want to go with Rhaenys to Rooks Rest, but she’s held back because of the danger. She breaks down when Granny dies 😔
Corlys will continue to be an idiot until wifey dies then he finally gets it.
Addam and Alyn are Ser Vaemond’s sons 🤞🏽(Let him get the last laugh).
Lots of Dragonseed deaths during episodes 5-6(I’ll probably laugh at half of them especially when Alyn is almost ended by my baby’s baby).
From the looks of things, Addam Velaryon claiming Seasmoke will be a pretty big deal. There’s a leak that Laenor is dead and Rhaenyra finds this out by Addam claiming Seasmoke.
A little flirtation between Alyn and Baela (Again Ryan Condal personally told me Alyn will be good, kind, and loving to Baela. He’ll sweep her off her feet. Jace who? Jace what? He’s like the perfect future husband guys trust me. He's not a hoe. That's just Green propaganda 🥲).
Sara Snow will be there. Come on it’s too messy to scrape and Jace is less interesting than watching paint dry. He needs this and Baela needs an real man🤐
Something something pack of ice and fire convo between Cregan and Jace something.
I know some people have reservations about Gayle now, but I wholeheartedly believe that people are going to fall in love with her portrayal of Alys(and Alysmond will rightfully overtake Pukemond as Aemond’s #1 ship). Hopefully, Alys roasts Daemon like how she did in that leaked audition tape 🤐
Judging by how much they are keeping Nettles under wraps, her claiming Sheepstealer will be absolutely epic. This is my most anticipated moment for season two. I want all the stops pulled out. I want Nettles to make the connection that dragons will accept food for rides on her own or hear something in passing on how the first Valyrians claimed/tamed their dragons and then figure it out from there.
(Daemon will be upset to hear about Nettles at first/view her as a threat because she shouldn’t exist in his Valyrian supremacist mind, but then he sees her and is like 😍).
There was a “leak” that allegedly stated Netty and Daemon meet sometime during the latter half of the season. They take a liking to each other and at some point, they go off together but come back to help in the Battle of the Gullet(BOTG). I’m not too crazy about this leak since I want Netty to be very wary of him at first instead of just jumping to be with him. He needs to really work for her affection.
The season will probably end on news that the Triarchy is attacking the Gullet(ending the season with them preparing for the BOTG). However, one of the “leaks” did say that allegedly the Blacks will take Kings Landing before the BOTG so they may plan their attack from there(hence Daemon and Nettles coming back to help them).
Not really a prediction, but I hope we see Johanna Lannister(seriously if HBO cuts her I’m considering it a crime). She’s like my favorite minor character during the Dance(and what happens to the Westerland women shows once again how Queenie doesn’t care about women except for herself). Now she’s what I’d call a bada** woman 🙌🏽
Anyway, I hope these fairytales are sufficient ☺️
#half of these takes are very unserious#hotd season 2 speculation#hotdask#no one should ever take me very seriously#except when it comes to nettles#then you should all take me very seriously 😏#hotd ask#bnask#bnasks
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hai bb <3 ive missed youuu! i hope you’re doing so well.
i’m glad you received a lot of support from the neighborhood and that you raised awareness as well. it’s heartbreaking that these things happen and people get away with them more often than not </3
i’ve been bed rotting a lot lately. this semester was so stressful that i gained like 30 pounds bc ✨stress eating✨and i have not been able to lose them bc ✨pcos✨ (oh the things we have to go through as women </3). and i can’t handle looking in a mirror or thinking about outfits for lolla or lolla in general (only minho falling in love with me will break the curse😪) but i manage it through rewatching comfort shows and reading feminist literature that discourages my perfectionist needs.
i’ve never rewatched kingdom entirely soooo new bedrotting material👀 thanks!
rhodes island kitten sent me!! he/she’s doing so well but the mom is ever so protective and won’t even let me touch him/her anymore😪 (she only likes men)
the kitten interview is my new comfort skz content is2g. i love seeing non-cat parents handle kittens. it’s hilarious. everyone struggling and lee know just like “yeah i live like this”. channie was so good with them too! petition for cat dad! chan fr. and the claws!! my cats used to do that so much and at that age they don’t really have too much control of them so it is not for the faint of heart. i felt for them 😂
i haven’t preordered the album yet😪 and probs won’t order it until after lolla bc i have no self control either and kinda went off with my spending on baby stuff for my nephew (who’s due in a month btw such excitement! much scary!) and ateez comeback (kpop doesn’t help my finances).
i looooove your junhan pc aesthetic! i didn’t know you liked xdh🥹🥹 im waiting for my album to arrive bc i preordered it with some other things that weren’t in stock but it just shipped out🥹 i shall update on my pulls✨
take care bb! i love youuuu🫶🏻 i hope you have the best week ever!
MY ANGELLLLLLLL 🫶👼💘❤️💞 it’s so good to chat with you on here again I’ve missed you so so dearly
THE BEDROTTING…. IS SO REAL………… last week I genuinely woke up at 6pm and I thought I just napped or something for a good minute bc I was like there is no way I just slept the entire day away. There was in fact a way bc it was literally just 6pm and I lost my entire Saturday 😍 this bedrot slay
NAURRRR not the kitten who only likes men !!!!???.?.?.?.?.?..? PLSSSS my cat at my parents’ place is so particular to men for some reason and I’m like. GIRL. STAND UP. GET UP. Luckily Momo hates everyone so she’s kind of feminist in the “I only fw my mother” kind of way. Also side note she has so many fans in my apartment complex now and there’s a family with kids who look for her every day to take pics of her in my window 😭😭 she naps in my window all day long when I leave it open while I’m working so the whole neighborhood just ADORES her lol it’s the cutest thing everrrrrr
The amount of times I’ve watched the skz kitten interview. oh my fucking god. Jisung’s little “say something to the world” HWLELPPPDLDKKFDJ I genuinely cannot pick who’s more cutie between them 😭 Chan never struck me as a cat person but in hindsight he gets along with everyone and everything so. makes sense 🫶😭 and Minho is just Minho ofc
IM NGL I only preordered to get a signed album and it wasn’t until after I checked out that I realized I bought the regular ones and then the signed ones sold out 😀 I was like. Oh. Oh! Ok. My wallet is CRYINGGGGG but at least it’s preordered???? LMAO 💔💔💔
I bought my first xdh album a few weeks ago and I’ve been dragging my jh pcs around like a ghost child with their haunted victorian doll oh my god I am OBSESSEDDDD WITH HIM 🤞I also got so many xdh posters with it for some reason so I finally caved and hung all my big ass pob posters in my room and it fully looks like a kpop store in here now LMAO 🚶♀️YES update all your pulls !!!!!!!!! I’m so excited 👼
ALSO THE SKZ MEME PLEEAAKKXKXKDKEK SOOOO FUCKING REAL the way my sister texted me the shinee version of that meme this morning 😭😭 I love you bb I hope you have the best week !!!!!!!!!!!! 💓💓💓💓🫶🫶🫶
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Kaisagi Kainess and bachisagi for ship bingo <3
YAYY under the cut because i’m a yapper
PEAK CHOICES i will start with kaisagi.. one of my favorite pairs and ultimately i prefer their dynamic platonically (but also like it romantically— i wrote a whole fic haha) with an “i absolutely despise you, you have a key to my house” kind of friendship waaaay post-canon, the banter never ends even when they get closer LOL on a serious note i think they have much deeper a capacity for understanding each other than they realize, i think the dynamic as a whole is fascinating and i LOVE their roles in the other’s development— what can i say i’m a sucker for narrative foils
(and while i do prefer platonic kaisagi i am partial to the idea of them making out exactly (1) time. they are horrified. hiori does find out. this goes about as well as you would expect.)
kainess…. where do i even start. by far my favorite dynamic in blue lock in all forms, romantic, platonic, secret third thing (doomed in every universe but inescapably tied to each other), i want to put them in a petri dish and watch them run around.. i hesitated in checking “if anything happens to them i will cry” because i WANT things to happen to them, kaiser in particular (see top right) (yes he is my favorite character) (yes i hope for happiness for him so deeply but only after some intense development), because the way they exist now is evidently not sustainable and that’s besides the fact that kaiser is incapable of consciously caring for another person nor accepting someone cares for him, he has no point of reference for what that is; ness sees him as the human he does not see in himself, but kaiser can’t see that nor is in a place to agree/accept it if he could
in kaiser, i view the rose as “humanity” and the thorns as “malice”— so ness’ view of kaiser is rose-dominant (in his backstory, his image of the blue rose as kaiser explains his ideology is literally drawn without thorns) and kaiser’s view of himself is thorn-dominant, and he still fails to see himself as human despite the current developments in the manga. this makes me think they still have a long road to go, and, honestly, i hope for a pretty brutal fall from grace for them because the development after that, individually, really interests me and i could go on and on but tldr my kainess timeline: breakup, time apart, Realizations are had but the damage is irreversible, build something from the rubble left behind and learn to live with yourself
AND BACHISAGI LOLL i see them as best friends or married there is no in between, life partners whether it’s platonic or romantic! i don’t have as many thoughts on them but they are very cute and i love how important they are to each other :>
#does this make sense i am so sorry#trying to briefly describe kainess is a challenge let me tell you#thank you for the ask i love all 3!!!#blue lock#asks
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