#it’s like spoons. you don’t know what that means. stop talking. please.

[pepprs]

hi, everyone. i hope you all are doing well. i’ve been meaning and wanting to check in here for many months but i have also been too afraid to. but i want to do it now because im potentially at a turning point and i want you all (especially close friends and mutuals who i haven’t talked to in a long time) to know what’s going on because unfortunately i do not have the strength to reach out individually right now, as much as i desperately want to.

when i left this place a year ago my depression was extremely bad. i didn’t know how long i was going to be gone or whether i was leaving for good, but i knew i needed to make some changes in my life before i could be here healthily again. well… 2024 has been a year of IMMENSE change for me! a lot of it has been for the good. i made some progress in my life by moving out, and i’ve had a lot of joy and healing in (very slowly) building a home for myself and figuring out what kind of life i want to live and how i want to live it. (im learning how to drive! i have string lights and stuffed animals and a wii! i am capable of solo travel!)

but… a lot of the changes that have happened this year have been for the worse. in almost every respect 2024 has been one of the most difficult and painful years of my life (and that is saying something!). this year a couple of traumatic things have happened to me and around me, and it has been extremely hard to live my life despite and beyond them. i have been dealing with physical and mental health issues that have greatly impacted my quality of life and make it unbearably difficult for me to get through every day. i am constantly running on negative spoons. one of the most damaging outcomes of this is that i have almost completely withdrawn from society both online and off and that is not an exaggeration. ive stopped talking to all of my friends and family except for people i see every day at work. i impulsively isolate myself when im in pain / distress despite knowing both emotionally and logically that it makes literally everything worse and i don’t know how to (and often can’t muster the mental strength to) work through the shame and grief and anxiety to seek connection and support. and im struggling to take care of myself including physically and its having severe consequences in every aspect of my life and in the lives of people who care about me. i live alone and i still think that was the good and right choice for me to make, but i am profoundly and agonizingly lonely. my depression was extremely bad when i left here, but i think despite everything it might be even worse now.

all of this is to say: this week i finally decided i can’t suffer like this anymore, and i began the process of seeking a formal diagnosis for my depression and other mental health issues and exploring additional treatment beyond talk therapy (most likely meds but there may be other things too / instead; still at the very beginning stages of figuring it all out). i am extremely anxious about many dimensions of this but also hopeful that it will help me hurt less because when i tell you at this point my brain and heart physically ache from depression like 85% of every day…. lol. im really hoping that once i get my mental / emotional pain under control i’ll be able to start tending to the parts of my life that have withered while ive suffered and repair the damage of my neglect as best i can. (which is to say… if you’re my friend and you’re reading this please know i love you and i miss you terribly and i am so sorry we haven’t spoken and i am so sorry im telling you this in a tumblr post you may not even read instead of a reply or a call back. i still love you and i want you to know it is not you specifically i am ghosting, its everyone. i am trying to build the strength and im scared i can’t but i hope i can.)

that said… i have decided i am not going to be coming back to this blog. i miss this place and the community i felt connected to here, but the way i was using this website as a public diary was extremely unhealthy, and as much as i miss it and still crave the instant comfort/validation i see clearly now with months of distance how damaging it was. (i truly cannot believe i was oversharing like that lol i am so private now (yes due largely to mental illness but still!)) i am so grateful to everyone who reassured me when i was struggling and celebrated my successes. this was the first place, online or off, where i (misguidedly but it’s true!) could actually be honest and candid about things happening in my life and my reactions to them instead of communicating it all through metaphors in my art and poetry, and it truly mattered that i had that experience here so that i could seek out more spaces like it in my offline life. i know i already said thank you in a previous update but really… thank you. 💗🫂

im not planning on deleting this blog. i may come back here and share updates like this one from time to time, but otherwise i will leave it as it is. but… i do want to get back to using a few of my fandom-centered sideblogs because looking at and compiling art of things i like is a low-energy thing that makes me happy! so you may see activity there every once in a while (tbh during this hiatus i have opened tumblr from time to time to look at art and save a bunch of posts that i wanted to reblog eventually lol). but… if i notice myself slipping back into bad habits i may private the sideblogs or abandon them completely.

i don’t know how to end this post. actually wait yes i do. one of my all time favorite artists is anna-laura sullivan (@/annalaura_art on instagram) and this is one of my all time favorite drawings of hers (so much so that i made it my lock screen so i can look at it every day!). this saying has brought me a lot of comfort and i hope it (and her other art) will bring you comfort too if you’re also in a dark place.

one more thing: not to be kind of a freak but in writing this post i discovered a longer version of my goodbye post from last year in my drafts. i don’t remember why i didn’t post it and obviously it’s outdated now but i want to share the draft because i went into more detail about tumblr having been helpful for me specifically when it comes to my mutuals + info / disclaimers about how to reach me and i want you guys to hear that in my past self’s voice lol! i put it under the cut if you want to read it!

2023 tess said it best: i hope you know how much it’s meant to me to be in your company. thank you for sharing and thank you for listening. i love you. happy [almost] new year. be well. good luck. shine bright. until we meet again ☕️🐈🫂💗

[jinglejanglemornings]

nothing pisses me off quite like people who work in mental health and just have less than zero awareness around obsessive compulsive disorder

[rafesangelita]

Pouge!Sweetheart!Reader and Rafe request! Rafe gets carried away in bed with dirty talk, saying degrading mean stuff about her being a pouge, because he is really horny and she gets a bit taken back because she doesn’t know if he truly feels that way about her and he can tell she is a bit standoffish and down after and he doesn't know what he has done :(

warnings: unprotected sex, degradation, light fluff, a little bit of angst, rafe feels rlly bad :(

both you and rafe managed to surprise each other when you two proposed new ideas to spice up your sex life. choking, overstimulation, roleplay, degradation, to name a few. while rafe reassured you that he loved how vanilla you two were in bed, you wanted to be everything and more for him, your own mind a little curious to see where he takes things. the first time rafe decided to rough things up a bit, it brought new sides out of both of you, and you equally loved it. however, you didn’t know how to feel about degradation this time around.

“oh, my- please don’t stop rafe!” you cried out, the band in your stomach threatening to snap at any moment, your boyfriend’s hips pistoning in and out of you at an unforgiving speed. “so fucking needy, huh? always wanting more like the fucking pogue you are?” his words made you blink, unsure of what he meant by that. you still moaned, his length pressing that spot inside of you that made you tremble. rafe leaned down, taking your lips in a kiss. “you’re so fucking sexy, who woulda’ thought a pogue had it like this?”

there he goes again. this time when he kissed you, you didn’t move your lips, your mind simply somewhere else. eventually rafe finished, his arms caging you in as he cursed against your skin. thankfully he didn’t pay too much attention to your face, instead he pulled you against his chest and spooned you as he whispered sweet nothings in the curve of your neck. he intertwined your fingers, rubbing your back soothingly until you fell asleep.

the next day you woke up early, still feeling off from last night. while rafe was snoring softly, you managed to slip out of his arms, taking it upon yourself to get ready and go out to get breakfast. apart of you felt bad for going out without him, and quite literally leaving your camper without a word, but you needed some space to clear your head. soon enough, your cell was ringing off the hook with calls and voicemails from rafe. when you got back home, rafe was sitting on the little steps outside, his knee bouncing as he chewed on his thumb.

“where were you?!” rafe looked confused as you walked past him and inside. “i got breakfast.” you shrugged, your voice barely above a whisper. “breakfast?” he watched you take a seat on your little couch, his hands on his hips as he stared down at you. rafe didn’t know what to think, as far as he knew he thought everything was fine, great even, between you two. “what’s wrong?” he sat down, immediately picking up on the way you avoided his gaze. “hey, talk to me, tell me what i did, baby.” he grabbed your chin.

you looked up at him, concern written all over his face. “last night,” you started, “..you said some things that bothered me.” you swallowed thickly. rafe shut his eyes momentarily. “i was a little thrown off when you mentioned the whole ‘pogue’ thing.” you watched as the realization dawned on him, a groan leaving his lips as he rested his head in his hands. “fuck,” he cursed, “i’m sorry. i didn’t mean anything i said, y/n. i wasn’t thinking straight.” he shook his head. you sighed, placing your arms around him.

“even the part where you said i was sexy?” rafe paused, a laugh tumbling from his mouth as he turned his eyes on you. you were too sweet for your own good. “no, i definitely meant that.” he clarified, resting his forehead on yours. “i’m so sorry if i made you feel bad, that was never my intention.” he hugged you, pulling you onto his lap. you studied his face, knowing he was genuine. “i know you are. it’s okay.” you pecked his lips. “how about this,” he took your hand, “instead of us trying to make things ‘rougher’ why don’t we try softer? praise instead of degradation?”

you smiled, nodding at him while he pressed a kiss to your knuckles. “..i can’t believe you got breakfast without me.”

[luveline]

kbd —Steve helps an emotional you downstairs to sate some late night cravings. pregnant!reader, 1.3k

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

Steve stirs at the top of the bed to the sound of pinging springs. He rubs his eye, feels sleep free itself from his lashes as he pushes onto an elbow. 

“Honey?” he asks. 

You turn to him with a frown. “Sorry.” 

Steve doesn’t want you to be sorry, he was just figuring out which of his best girls it was moving around. He forces himself to sit up and turn on the lamp, unveiling the sight of you at the end of the bed in your maternity pyjamas, flowy blue fabric with white polka dots you’d bought to match Beth’s. 

“You need help?” he asks. 

You sound like you’re having a hard time breathing. “I’m trying to put my socks on.” 

“Yeah? You wanna go downstairs?” 

You always put your socks on before you go downstairs at night or in the early morning. The floors get cold no matter what you and he try to do to prevent it. He promises one day you’ll have enough money for heated floors. He’s not sure where he thinks that money is coming from. 

“I’m gonna go have some ice cream.” 

Your night time cravings lately are unstoppable. Steve pushes the sheets back and round the bed to the end, giving your face a short touch, and then getting down on his knees in front of you with his hands held out for your socks. He’d offer to go get it for you, but you’ll say no, he’s too tired. The only loophole he’s found for this is coming with you. 

You give him your socks and a sorry smile. “I didn’t mean to wake you up.” 

“It’s okay. I don’t mind. You know what I say.” 

“Can’t sleep without me.” 

He bunches your sock up and rolls it over your toes and up past your heel, your ankle. He does it gently like he’s rolling them onto one of the kids’ feet, he can’t really help himself. He likes being gentle with you. You can’t see your toes, so you might as well have him be kind to them. 

“Can’t sleep without you,” he agrees, again bunching up the fabric of your sock to roll over your toes and heel. 

He tugs it up straight on your calf and leaves his hand there for a selfish squeeze. “There, now you’re ready. Want your robe too?” 

You frown suddenly, a familiar twist of your mouth and nose, eyebrows pinching down as your eyes fill with tears. He shakes his head at you before you can talk, his hand moving to your knee for sympathetic rubbing. “Don’t cry.” 

“You’re so nice to me.” 

“I love you,” he says, pushing himself up to stand and hug you. “Please don’t cry, Y/N, it’s just socks. I love putting your socks on for you.” 

“You treat me like a princess,” you say with a sniff. 

“You deserve it,” he promises. He wraps his arms around your head and neck, kissing your forehead with a loving sigh. “You do. Please don’t cry.” 

Once you start you can’t stop. Steve doesn’t mind calming you down, it’s not like it isn’t exactly what he signed up for, but getting upset is never good for the baby or your extremely stressed body. “Please,” he murmurs, “let’s go downstairs, okay?” 

“Okay,” you say, voice thick with tears. 

Steve wraps you in a blanket and ushers you through the master bedroom door. Your pregnancy hormones are as off the charts as they’ve ever been, though last month you’d been quite snappy. This week you’re crying multiple times a day every day. Steve keeps waiting to run out of patience, but he has a good few kids, and you’re not doing anything wrong anyways. So what if you’re crying all the time? He can’t imagine how stressful it is to be that tired and heavy like this, or how many hormones are pumping through you at the moment. He got you pregnant. It’s his job to mitigate the symptoms to the best of his ability. 

You sit down at the table, knowing without asking that he’s going to get your ice cream. He grabs it from the freezer with your favourite spoon (not so big, not so little), and passes you both with a smile. 

“There, honey.” 

Before he met you, Steve wasn’t used to pet names. He’d say baby and babe, he was a player, then heartbroken, and they’d come out weird because he didn’t really mean them, or he didn’t get what they meant in the first place. He calls you honey and he feels at once like the husband he is but it’s more than that. You’re his honey. You deserve to know how much you mean to him with every sentence he says, and there’s no easier way to do that than to pester you with pet names. 

You use them just as much as he does. “Thanks, handsome.” 

“Do you want anything else?” 

Again, your frown, tears in your eyes as you peel the lid off of pint and pick up your spoon. “I’m fine,” you say tearily. 

Steve scoots a chair as close to yours as is physically possible and sits, his hand falling to your knee. He’d squeeze your thigh if it wasn’t impeded by the round hill of your bump, the biggest it’s ever been. From the start of next week onward you can expect to go into labour. Within the month, you’ll have had the baby. 

Steve can’t wait for it, and he’ll bet you can’t wait to be done. He says your name softly, giving the side of your leg a great massage, “Y/N, it’s okay.” 

“I know, I just love you,” you say through a mouthful of ice cream, the spoon still on your lips. 

“I love you too, honey, don’t worry about it.” 

“Do you want some?” 

He knows saying no won’t help. It’s probably four in the morning and he can’t imagine anything less appetising at the late hour, but he says, “Yeah. Just a little bit. I’m watching my figure.” 

You laugh, still full of tears, and scoop up some ice cream to feed him. When he’s had it, he presses forward for a kiss, to your delight. Steve doesn’t mean to brag, but he knows you well. Cheering you up is easy. He steals a second kiss just for him and beams at the reaction it invokes, breathless laughter that doesn’t fade as you scoop up another spoonful of ice cream. 

“How come the baby never wants something we can keep in the bedroom?” Steve asks. 

“She’s like her sisters.” 

“Yes she is,” Steve says, moving in for another squeeze of your leg. “Can’t wait to meet her.” 

You lean your head on his shoulder, ice cream dripping from your spoon. “She can’t wait to meet you, Steve. She’s kicking every time she hears your voice. I think she knows how good you are to me.” You clear your throat. “She can tell you’re the nicest guy ever.” 

He shushes you tenderly. “Come on, honey, no more crying. I’ll have to start being mean to you instead, nobody wants that, I don’t want that.” 

“Please don’t be mean to me.” 

Your hurt voice startles him. “I’m just kidding.” He kisses your temple. “You think I’d do that? I can’t do that to you, babe, I don’t want to.” 

He spends twenty minutes convincing you he was just kidding while you weep into his shoulder. 

Poor girl, he thinks sorrily.

[beesspacedotorg]

Third Leg?

Summary: after spending time with Minho after exams, you remember something he said in the heat of the moment about your packmate Jeongin. You decide to confront Jeongin about it, because after all, what's the worst that can happen?

Warnings: sex. uh. poly ot8 and reader. more omegaverse. continuation of Dibs but can be read on its own. breeding kink?? manhandling ??? reader is lowkey a brat, uh. Jeongin's dick is huge. I actually don't know what else to add, so let me know if there's another thing I should put in here. reader is an omega but gender and genitals are unspecified as always

notes: I got possesed by a demon when I was writing this. I don't even have a breeding kink. Also if the title is bad, no. this is my first time writing Jeongin, so if it's bad no it isn't. this is his very late birthday present. Happy Birthday, King.

to read: Dibs

In most things, you try to be reasonable. It does not come easy to you, it doesn’t come easy to most people. You wish your pack would be more understanding of this sometimes. You know that’s an unfair thing to say about, to say to, your pack, but you can’t help it. You really don’t want to, you really can’t spend Jeongin’s rut with him. It’s the middle of the semester, you’re still convinced the Luna doesn’t like you, and you’d prefer not to think too hard about your relationship with anyone else. You’re comfortable with Hyunjin and you’re comfortable with Changbin. Everyone else, you think, couldn’t care whether you were around or not.

“That’s unfair to think, dove. Of course they want you around. We want you around.” Hyunjin says, he’s holding your face in his palms in a way that he often does when he talks to you.

“I know, but I really don’t feel comfortable yet, it’s only been a couple months, and it took me so long to get used to being around you.” You huff and you can feel a heat forming behind your nose. “I just really- I don’t want to spend Innie’s rut with him. I can’t.” Hyunjin hums affirmingly and swipes a finger under your eye to cut off a tear, but otherwise makes no comment about your crying.

“You want them to stop pushing,” he says, and you nod at him.

“I want them to stop pushing.”

“Okay. I’ll see what I can do. But, please don’t say we don’t want you around. We do. At the very least, I do. Okay?” You nod at him and smile slightly as he kisses your nose, it turns into a laugh when he gets insistent, peppering kisses all over your face until you’re shoving him off and smiling wide at him.

-

“So.” You have a spoonful of cereal halfway to your mouth when he comes into the kitchen. In all reality, you aren’t supposed to be here. You only stopped by for a quick snack before you went to head into work, but then there was something at the shop so your boss told you to stay home. You’d intended to detour to the campus library instead to catch up on some homework, but between your first and second bowls of cereal you had switched out of your outside clothes to sweats and an old t-shirt, and now you’re standing three feet away from Yang Jeongin.

“So?” You set the bowl down on the counter.

“You don’t want to spend my rut with me.” You draw your shoulders up to your ears defensively. You think something in your scent must turn sour because you see Jeongin wrinkle his nose.

“Wait, I didn’t mean it like that. I’m not mad or anything. I just wanted to know if you’d tell  me why.” You pause, picking up your spoon and stirring the milk around the bowl, listening to the clink clink clink of metal on ceramic. Something about his question confuses you.

“If?”

“Yeah, ‘if.’ I don’t want to pressure you for information if you’re not ready to give it. If you’re uncomfortable with spending my rut with me, that’s fine. If you don’t want to tell me you’re uncomfortable, that’s also fine.”

“I don’t want to tell you why.” He shrugs. You’re surprised at how easy that was.

“That’s fine. I have another question though.”

“Hmm?”

“Could we hangout, or something? Before you steer clear of the house for a week and a half, I want to spend time with you. Unfortunately,” he rolls his eyes, “I’ve come to enjoy your company and if I don’t spend some time with you I might do something drastic.” He’s slowly approaching you now, crowding you against the counter. He’s given you plenty of time to walk away or move, but you haven’t, so he continues.

“Drastic, you say.” He hums, taking your bowl and putting it in the sink, not bothering to rinse it out.

“Drastic like breaking every single door that separates the two of us just to make sure you’re safe.” He wraps his arms around your waist and rests his head on your shoulder, nose against your neck. His hair smells like baby powder, like his shampoo that you and Hyunjin sometimes steal. You can feel him shake with laughter when your scent changes with arousal as he gets in your space.

“You’re easy.” You hit his back slightly.

“You’re mean.”

“Will you hangout with me, though? I was mostly serious.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’ll hangout with you.”

“Great,” he says, and you let out a small shriek as he drags you in the direction of his room. The door is halfway closed when he yells across the house.

“I call dibs until my rut starts!” You can hear the groans and complaints through his now shut door.

-

So, you spend time with him, both before and after his rut, and nobody comments on how annoying it is that you’re monopolizing his time like you thought they would. There’s a point where Hyunjin interrupts you because he wants Jeongin’s dick in his mouth, and when you move to leave, they both start complaining. (You left anyway, not being ready for that just yet, but the idea made you feel warm regardless.) 

You don’t get to spend much time with him after that though, because then you have Minho and exams flooding your vision and your senses, and while one of those things is enjoyable, the other isn’t and for two seconds you’d like your brain to be off. Just for two. That time comes and it’s as you’re waking up from your post-fuck nap with Minho that it hits you.

“You said Innie was talking about me during rut?”

“What? Sweetheart, we just woke up.” Minho is rubbing his eyes, smacking his mouth, and blinking cutely. You feel the urge to pinch his cheek but worry that would land you in hot water so you just poke it instead.

“Yes, I know, I know, but. You said Jeongin was talking about me during his rut.”

“Yes? Why do you sound so surprised? You’re our Omega after all.” You flush again at his casual claim on you, he keeps catching you off guard with it.

“He never mentioned it to me.” Minho yawns and slings his arm over your waist.

“You were busy, of course he didn’t mention it to you. Besides, you seemed so … hesitant to spend his rut with him in the first place that he probably didn’t want to mention it at all.” You frown, brows furrowing as you think about it. You move to get out of bed when Minho stops you.

“And where do you think you’re going?”

“To talk to Jeongin.”

“It’s too early for one, and for two. I have some things planned for us.” His hand wanders up your shirt.

“But-”

“I thought you had learned enough to stop arguing with me? Does your mommy need to teach you a lesson?” He says this, but he’s not holding you back. If you wanted to, you could leave this bed and camp outside of Jeongin’s door until he woke up. But you don’t. You don’t even know what you want to say to him, and Minho is tracing soft circles on your skin and you’re struck with undeniable want. You ease yourself back into bed.

“That’s my pretty Omega. So good for me, hmm?”

-

You don’t get to talk to Jeongin until several days later. You’re too busy sleeping like the dead for a day and a half, then Chan steals you away for a celebratory dinner date, then when you finally get the chance to talk to him, you walk into his room and find him and Yongbok making out, so you’ve had to curb the conversation for later, until now.

“Innie!” He’s slipping his shoes on.

“Yeah?” He never ties them, you notice, ties them once and then slips them on and off over and over again.

“Where are you going?”

“On a walk.”

“Great.” You walk over to him and shove his jacket off his shoulders, then kick at his feet until he takes his shoes back off, and start dragging him to his room.

“What.” He’s confused despite the fact that he’s the one who let it get this far.

“I want to talk to you.”

“Okay?” He sits down on his bed, patting the spot next to him so you can sit too.

“Minho mentioned that you talked about me during your rut.” It comes out of you in a rush. Jeongin’s face flushes red. He covers his face with his hands, his huge hands with their stupidly long fingers.

“Ah. Yes. I did. Are you upset?”

“Am I up- Am I upset?” You’re incredulous. “One of the hottest men I’ve ever seen and one of my Alphas wanted me during his rut and you think I’m upset?”

“Okay, to be fair. You didn’t seem too thrilled about the idea of my rut to begin with.”

“I was new to the pack!”

“You’d been with us for three months!”

“Like I said, new!” He huffs and knocks you onto your back, laying across you in the way you’ve seen the others do to him.

“Why did you come to talk to me about it?” You flush at his question and you can hear his little chuckle. The members joke that he learned how to be mischievous from Minho and Seungmin, and you’ve never seen it more than right now.

“Oh? I see.”

“Don’t be mean.”

“Minho hyung says you like when people are mean.”

“Minho said what?!”

“I’m kidding, he refused to tell us what you two got up to, but now I know that I’m not too far off.” You grab a pillow from behind your head and smack him with it. He moves himself until your noses are touching and smiles at you. You smile back and poke around his face until your finger lands in a dimple.

“You want me to fuck you, is that it?” His voice is soft, low, because of how close he is to your face and he smirks when your scent fills the room. 

“You do?” You nod at him and he tuts.

“Minho’s taught you better than that.” You huff and pout at him. He laughs and kisses you.

“I’ll let you get away with it because you’re cute.” You beam at him and he smiles back.

He starts with kissing you, because of course he does. It’s soft and sweet and a little hesitant and it’s similar to the way you’ve seen him kiss Yongbok, but different from the way you’ve seen him kiss Seungmin and you’re struck with the realization that he sees you as something soft and precious. That he’ll hold you with the same amount of delicacy he uses to hold Felix and your heart stutters in your chest for a minute.

“Baby? What’s wrong?” He’s pulling away, looking at you with wide eyes as your scent changes. “Did I hurt you?” You shake your head at him, pulling him close for a hug for a minute as you calm yourself down.

You’ve never had a pack before, your culture has moved away from it. You had to move from your family for school and since then you’ve been relatively alone. It’s been a while since you’ve felt loved, and when you’re faced with the sheer amount of it the eight of them have to give it overwhelms you every time. He hasn’t hurt you, it’s the opposite.

“Nothing’s wrong.”

“Ah, I see. Hyungs’ said you might cry a little. That’s okay. Do you want to stop?” You shake your head at him, answering with a verbal “no” after he stares at you pointedly. You lean in to kiss him again and he responds with the same gentleness he did before and you can feel yourself slicking up in your pants. You hear him take a sharp inhale and then you feel his grip tighten where his hands were resting on the side of your face and neck.

“Jesus, I can see why hyung keeps you to himself all the time. You smell so fucking good.” He stops kissing you to start making out with your neck, you can feel him starting to scent you and you tug at him, whining.

“Innie-”

“Yeah, I know, but-” he cuts himself off with a groan and you can feel his hips press into yours and dear God.

“Is that your leg?”

“No.” You whine again. There’s no fucking way his dick is that big. You tell him so.

“Well. Prepare to eat your words because it is.”

You huff at him again, and really, he should spend less time around the more sarcastic pack members because his attitude is making your eye twitch. He sees it and smiles mischievously at you before landing a soft peck right below the same eye.

“I’d like to see how you handle Hannie or Seungmin hyung. They’re worse than I am.”

“They also probably move faster than you do.” He grumbles at you at that and gets to work undressing the two of you. He’s sliding his hoodie off when you’re filled with the urge to bite his biceps. They’ve gotten bigger since you’ve been introduced to him and you think it’s crazy because you hardly ever see him work out. Suddenly, there’s a large palm against your forehead and any forward movement you had started is quickly stopped.

“What are you doing?” You can feel your teeth click together as your mouth closes and you blink a couple times.

“Nothing.” He squints at you.

“You were going to bite me, weren’t you?”

“No.”

“You’re a liar!” You’re being manhandled now, and you refuse to go down without a fight. You grab a pillow and nail him in the face with it.

“I am not! I’ve never- don’t pull my hair- I’ve never lied!”

“You’re doing it right- why are your nails so fucking long- right now!”

“Nuh uh!”

“Did you just fucking- ow! What the hell?” You finally manage to get your teeth on his arm and it’s just as great as you imagined it would be. Your victory is incredibly short lived because between one second and the next Jeongin has you pinned to the bed. Your cheek is pressed against the mattress and he has your arm twisted in a way that’s mildly uncomfortable, but that’s overshadowed by how you can feel him pressed against you to keep you pinned. He’s all lean muscle and you can feel where his shoulders press against yours and where his cock is pressed against your ass and if you tilt your hips just right, you can feel him brush against your slick hole.

“Oh? Does my pretty Omega want something?” You can hear the laughter in his voice. You can also hear how it’s dropped three octaves and you can feel it rumbling from his chest. You can feel how his cock is starting to leak against your skin.

“Jeongin-”

“I think,” he grabs your other arm, pinning your wrists at the small of your back, “that if you want anything you should beg for it.”

“Innie, you’re not being fair-”

“I’m not being fair? You bit me. I have you pinned. If you want anything from me, you’re going to have to work for it.” You turn your head into the mattress and let out a small sob, wiggling a bit in Jeongin’s hold. His hands loosen on your wrists and he lifts his weight off of you enough that you could get out if you wanted to. Minho did this too, gave you signals with his body to let you know that it was okay to not want it, the problem is that you do. You like how Jeongin has you pinned, and you like the humiliation that’s going to come with begging for it.

He notices you haven’t moved and so his grip tightens on your wrists again. You feel the chuckle he lets out as he presses his weight down onto you again and you know your scent must be doing something because he inhales with his nose pressed straight against your neck.

“Get to begging, baby. I have all night.” You whine at that, wiggling and trying to push your hips back against his to fuck yourself onto his cock, but he pulls his hips back, readjusts until you couldn’t reach his cock unless you dislocated something and he laughs at you.

Jeongin does have all night, it turns out, because you spend a considerable amount of time with your forehead pressed into the mattress trying to will the shame that comes with wanting out of your body. At one point, he asks you if you’re alright, dropping the act for a bit and when you respond he resorts to taunting you.

He’s doing it now, taking his ridiculously large dick in his hand and gathering some of the slick that’s leaked between your legs to jerk it. You can hear the wet noises it’s making and you can’t help but think of how much louder it would be if he were actually fucking you. It turns out that your Alpha was thinking the same thing because he starts talking, and each word chips away at the lump in your throat.

“Fuck, you smell so good, baby. Your slick is so warm, I bet it’d be warmer if I got it straight from the source, yeah? What do you think? You’re leaking so much you’ve made a wet spot on the bed, maybe I should fuck that instead, since you wanna be stubborn.” You whine in response.

“No? You don’t want me to do that? I think I should. Or should I just finish on your back?” Your next answering whine is more of a wail.

“Oh, I see. You’re a little cumwhore is that it? Want me to come inside of you? Hmm? Get our Omega pregnant?” You moan this time, drooling onto the sheets. Jeongin grabs your head and turns it to the side so he can see you better, or so that you can see him and how he’s about to waste his cum on you instead of in you. The drool smears onto your cheek and you can feel your eyes start to well up with tears because you know he’s close.

“Please.” It escapes from you in a pathetic whimper and the hand that was stroking his cock pauses.

“What was that? I don’t think I heard you.” You know he did, but you also know that if you don’t repeat yourself and beg good enough he really will make good on his promise to finish on your back and leave you there.

“Innie, Jeonginnie, please. I want- I want-”

“Want what? Hmm? A slice of cake, a new Minecraft update?” You huff at his mocking, but it’s too wet to really hold any weight, and you can feel your lip wobbling, so you’re not surprised when what you say next is more of a sob than anything else.

“Your cock. Jeongin, Alpha, please. You said you wanted me during your rut, don’t you want me now?” It’s a low blow, and even through your desperation you know that, but you’ll do what it takes to get him to finally stick his huge dick in you.

“Oh, baby. I do. Don’t worry.” His fingers are searching for your entrance, stretching you out just enough for it to not burn too bad, but you’re so wet, and both of you are so needy, you know that you’ll just have to deal with the pain of not preparing for his stupid dick later because you want it now.

“Then,” he made the mistake of letting go of your wrists to grab your hip instead, and you ball your hands into fists and hit the bed in frustration, “why aren’t you fucking me?” He huffs a laugh.

“All that and you’re still giving me trouble? You’re lucky you’re cute, Omega. So lucky.” You start to kick your feet at him but you’re stopped by the fact that he’s slowly starting to push into you, making a home for himself inside your body and slowly forcing the breath from your lungs.

It burns, and you expected it to with how unprepared you were, but it feels good and you don’t care so that will have to be a later-you problem.

“Jesus, you feel so good, baby. Better than I imagined.” He starts a rough rhythm right off the bat, and you’re needy enough that it doesn’t bother you, besides, you’re pretty sure he was edging himself earlier, so he’s entitled to this.

“Felix hyung and I talked about it, you know. When I was in rut. You left.” The last part comes out as a soft growl, and he coughs to get himself in check before pressing a soft kiss between your shoulder blades.

“You left and I thought about how warm you’d feel inside. Felix wondered too, said he wanted to know how sweet you were.” You hear him chuckle. “Y’know I got him to come untouched from just talking about you, pretty baby?”

You gasp, letting out a shuddery moan at that, and you hear Jeongin laugh above you. You were already halfway to delirious with how good he was fucking you- hard enough to shake the bed and bang the headboard against the wall- but something about knowing that the pack wants you always makes you just that much wetter, always makes your head that much lighter, so you can’t help but clench down around his cock and get everything around you soaked with more of your slick.

“Jeonginnie, Alpha, I- please- I want to-”

“Yeah, yeah, go ahead, baby. I won’t make you beg for this one.” He presses himself down against your back, knocking your knees out from under you so you’re flat against the bed and have nowhere to go, nothing to do but take it.

“The next one, though. I make no promises.”

The new angle has you going dumber than you were before and you can feel Jeongin’s breath in puffs of hot air against your neck. You whine at him, moaning as you’re trapped underneath his body and when you come it’s with white spots dancing across your vision. You’re just coming down when you feel him start to pull out and you surprise both yourself and him with the growl that comes out of you.

“Yang Jeongin, so help me God if you do not come inside of me-” He shuts you up by doing just that, bullying his knot into you until it pops and rolling the two of you onto your sides so you’re not laying in the multiple spots of wet that have stained his sheets.

“You’re bossy.” It’s said against your hair while his stupidly big hands come up to massage the crick in your neck that’s finally made itself present. “How do you get away with that when you’re with Minho hyung?”

“I listen to him. Mostly.” He pinches you, you pinch back. You sit in silence for a minute.

“Was it good? Or, as good as you imagined?” You try not to sound insecure as you say it, but you know that you’ve probably missed the mark.

“Better. Way better.” He kisses the spot he was just massaging and winds his arm around your middle. “Nap time. You’ll need your energy when I get you back for being a little shit.”

“I wasn’t.” He scoffs at you.

“Yeah, sure. And my name is Chan.”

“Hi, Chan, how are you?”

“Cancel what I said earlier. The second we aren’t locked together anymore I’m kicking you out.” You laugh at him.

[maxlarens]

Max and 10 please <3

10) spooning at night

Despite the soundproofing you’d installed during Covid, you can still hear Max’s pedals going thunk against the walls of the apartment. The sound accompanied by faint chattering, occasional laughter, cries of outrage as he talks to his friends on stream.

He worries sometimes. But you’d tell him if it bothered you— besides, you like hearing sounds of life in the apartment. You’ve not quite adjusted to the sheer square footage of Max’s penthouse apartment yet, even though you’ve lived with him for years. You grew too used to New York apartments where your bedroom, kitchen, and dining room were always piled on top of each other. It’s strange to have so much space, more rooms than you know what to do with.

Anyway, no, the noise doesn’t bother you. You like to hear him enjoying himself, laughing with his friends, doing something that doesn’t have so much pressure attached to it. You don’t like to take him away from that prematurely, even if you’re missing him.

And you are missing him.

It’s the middle of the night. Maybe past midnight now. You’ve got the windows in your bedroom open, letting in the Monaco sea breeze in a futile attempt to cut through the sweltering heat. The overhead fan whirrs above you. Some mindless show you love drones quietly on the TV, casting you in ever changing colours as you twist and turn in the sheets. Trying to keep your mind off things you shouldn’t be worrying about.

You wait a while, watch an episode.

Then you give in to your selfish tendencies and pull up your Discord chat with Max on your phone, sending off a simple message— come to bed?

You put your phone back on the nightstand and try not to smile too wide when you hear the sim rig thunk and thud as Max climbs out of it a few minutes later. His footsteps on the hardwood floors as he stops by the kitchen and then makes his way to the bedroom.

The door creaks open. Max comes inside, stepping quietly as if you’re already asleep.

“Sorry, liefje,” he says softly, before he ducks into the closet to change, “I didn’t mean to keep you up.”

You shake your head even though he can’t see, “You didn’t. I just couldn’t sleep.”

“You should have told me,” he sighs, coming out of the walk in closet wearing the oversized cat shirt you’d bought him and worn sweat-shorts with holes in the waistband, “I don’t mind cutting the stream short, not for you. They will survive without me.”

You hum and nod placatingly, knowing you wouldn’t ever ask him to do that. At least not for something like this. You’d only sent that message tonight because you knew he’d already been on for hours and would be wrapping up soon anyway.

“Got it,” you say, opening your arms and beckoning him to get into bed already.

He sighs again, an exasperated little exhale through his nose, and then climbs under the single sheet you’ve got draped over you. He shuffles into your space, pressing a wet kiss to the side of your chin as you press a kiss into his forehead and adjust your arms around him.

“Where are the cats?”, you ask, while Max busies himself with turning around.

You feel Max shrug. He’s adjusting the sheet so it sits over him perfectly and then fluffing his pillows so his head sits comfortably. You reach out to scratch the back of his neck, with three fingers, the same way you scratch the cats out of habit.

“Jimmy’s sleeping in the spare room,” he says, reaching blindly behind him to catch your shirt and drag you closer, “Dunno where Sassy is.”

“Causing trouble,” you laugh, slotting into place at his back.

You nudge your nose into his shoulder and sling your arm over his waist. Curling it around to press into his stomach. Your legs end up tangled, one of yours bent and hiked on his hip. Later, he’ll nudge it off because it twists the material of his shorts, but he tolerates it until you’re asleep.

“Mm,” he agrees, finding your hand splayed flat on his tummy and intertwining it with his own, “Always.”

[bohemianblasphemy]

things sam winchester would do bc i said so✨

N/SFW

SFW

- sam would be the best boyfriend. he is just such a sweet man and he’s so big n tall n cuddly HES SO BOYFRIEND. such a gentleman.

- remembers the small things about you - he knows your coffee order by heart and your favourite things. he will get something that relates to it to see that beautiful smile on your face - it makes him happy to see you happy.

- he says I love you first.

- gives the best hugs.

- mornings with sam are perfection. he gets up before you, wanting to cook a breakfast for the both of you. when you walk into the kitchen he’s at the stove cooking up, you wrap your arms around him and he smiles as his love embraces him.

- he’d be very protective of you. with his past experiences with jess he is scared of losing you and he will do anything in his power to keep you safe. it took him a while to pursue you due to his fear, but after dean convincing him to (bc he was getting sick of the pining between you two) he was all in, nothing could seperate you both.

- cuddles, cuddles and even more cuddles. yes he is a big spoon but you know what??? some days he wants to be held. he will put his head on your chest, letting his hands roam your torso and feel your warm skin against his fingers. bonus points for playing with his hair whilst he’s like that, he loves it and will make lil sighs and content noises.

-oh he is king of kissing. its just so gentle and sweet, he can never get enough of you. its cute as fuck when he kisses your forehead, cheeks, the tip of your nose and then pecks your lips. he’s also a fan of giving and receiving neck kisses.

a passionate man.

speaking of passionate…

NSFW

- he is a dom ( i mean did we not see the scene with Ruby???). he definitely uses his height to his advantage - knowing that it gets you hot and bothered seeing his lust filled eyes looking down at you, teasing you ever so slightly with his long fingers.

- he can be very rough and passionate, but he also makes love like there’s no tomorrow. one minute he can be absolutely pounding into you and smacking your ass, the next minute he will be gentle and soft- kissing all over you and praising the fuck outta you.

- praise kink. enough said.

- he l o v e s dirty talk.

“you’re such a good girl for me, i can’t get enough of you…”

“ fuck baby your mouth feels amazing, i need more…”

- you cannot convince me this man does not live to eat pussy. don’t get me wrong, he absolutely loves when receives oral but MAN he will not stop at anything to get a taste of you. (extra points for pulling his hair, he loves that too). he also leave hickeys behind on your inner thighs…

- he loves missionary. his need to look at you whilst he fucks you senseless - it makes him hard. he needs you to looks at him, watching you come undone makes him cum harder inside you. he is also a fan of you on top, adores seeing your tits bounce whilst you ride his cock. (defs a boob man)

- aftercare is so important to him. he will sing sweet praises to you, meets any needs that you may wish for and follows through.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

i hope you enjoyed!!! please do send in requests if you would like!!! ✨✨

[mialikeshockey]

mini stories w Luke Hughes

I’m gonna add more to these randomly, these are just little stories that I didn’t have enough ideas to fully write something about, you can use these ideas if you have ideas to fully write something!

—

- cuddles ⬇️

“have you always been like this?” I question the boy, who’s currently wrapping his body around mine. “Like what?” Luke asks, “So cuddly; you’re never this cuddly.” Luke smiles and tries to get even closer to me. “I think that’s as close as you can get Hughes.” I let out a giggle, but he doesn’t try to stop.

“You can’t escape it.” He mumbles basically into my neck. “Escape what? Someone being basically a big teddy bear?” He lifts his head up, “Maybe I’m just in a mood.”

“And that mood would be?”

“Very cuddly and missing you.”

“You could’ve just said that, I don’t mind cuddling Luke. You’re just never this cuddly — are you sure something isn’t up? Nothing happened today?” Luke stays quiet for a second. “Nope”, he puts his head on my chest.

I stay quiet, and I start to play with his hair. Not even minutes later, he’s fast asleep on my chest.

—

- sweet treats ⬇️

Luke turns on the tv, as I scoop ice cream into bowls. “I don’t want any sprinkles on mine!” Luke calls out. “You’re boring; sprinkles make everything better!”

“They are only good on cookies sometimes…” He says, has I hand him his ice cream. “You’ll never understand until you try it! You can’t hate on something that you’ve never had. I made Jack try it, and guess who eats sprinkles with his ice cream now? Jack.” Luke puts his spoon down, “First off, Jacks just Jack. He will eat anything and everything. Second, the sprinkles make it taste weird and feel weird. Third, I’m just a certified hater. I learned from the best…” He basically side eyes me.

“I’m not a hater — sorry people do stupid things that need to be talked about. Please just try it for me?” I scoop some of my ice cream onto my spoon, making sure to get a lot of sprinkles. “Fine, but it’s gonna be nasty.” He states, taking the spoon full of ice cream and sprinkles into his mouth.

I wait for an answer, he looks up and nods his head. “Okay…maybe it’s not too bad.” I jump up, “YES! We got another sprinkle lover!” I practically yell; He just lets out a little giggle.

—

- flowers ⬇️

It was rarely that Luke and I would get into arguments. We always knew how to communicate with each other, but this time, it just wasn’t working. It was like we heard each other, but we weren’t listening to each other. I said something and it went right out of his head — he said something, it went straight out of my head.

Even after small fights, Luke and I always figured everything out minutes later. But it’s been over 6 hours since the argument and we haven’t spoke or seen each other since.

I was beginning to worry and wanted to text Luke, but as I go to pull my phone out, the door bell rings. I put my phone down on the coffee table and open the door to see, Luke with a bouquet of flowers…My favorite flowers to be exact.

“I’m sorry for not listening to you. I didn’t mean to upset you or anything. It wasn’t my intention and I apologize if it seems like it was.” He says softly, holding the flowers out to me. I smile and take the flowers, “it’s okay, it’s not just your fault. I should’ve been listening to. Wanna talk about it over some dinner and actually listen to each other?” Luke nods.

—

- painting ⬇️

Luke and I always found ways to make the most random things happen. We went from, drinking coffee at a quiet coffee shop to getting paint all over each other in my backyard.

We were supposed to be painting each other, like that TikTok trend that all the couples are doing. I purposely messed mine up, hoping to get a laugh out of him. The next thing I knew, paint was all over me.

“You’re helping me get this out of my hair, I hope you know that!” I yell out before I run up to him, putting my red painted hands all over his arm. “I’m so gonna get you back for that.” He gets more paint on his hands before chasing me around. “You won’t get me!” I say running, I watch him chase after me.

Not even seconds later, he gets me.

We both have paint all over us. “This is gonna be fun to clean up.” Luke sighs, “Someone shouldn’t have got paint all over me in the first place.” Luke laughs. “Oh sure, I started it. Maybe don’t make me look like I’m a broken donkey!”

“It was to make you laugh! Of course you don’t look like a broken donkey.” I walk up to him and put a red dot on his nose. “You’d be a cute Rudolph.”

“It’s October! We are not close to Christmas!”, “Christmas is better than all!” I yell back, he just sighs following behind me as I go start to clean up.

—

- notes ⬇️

Luke always tends to leave me notes everywhere. When he’s away for games, he makes sure that there’s some in random places that he knows I’ll be looking in. Even when he’s there with me, he always finds a way to put notes in places.

They weren’t bad notes; nothing mean or sad. They were always sweet. Most of them were sometimes corny dad jokes, or that I was pretty. He sometimes leaves presents with the notes. It’s like a game sometimes: the note telling me where to go to find the present.

Luke wasn’t have the best week, so I thought I would do some notes for him. Hopeful that it would cheer him up a bit.

I woke up early to start an early breakfast for him. I was never a breakfast person, it sometimes makes me really nauseous throughout the day but, since living with Luke, sometimes I just eat a bowl of fruit while he eats a full breakfast meal.

I make eggs, bacon, toast, and some pancakes. I made sure to leave a note next to Lukes phone so that he could see it right away. Knowing, he would use his phone to turn off his alarm.

I finish up breakfast at the last second of me cleaning up, I hear Luke’s alarm going on…perfect timing. I hear it stop, I try to make sure everything is in place before he walks out of the room.

“So we’re switching roles today huh?” He says walking out of the room in only sweatpants, with very messy hair. “Perhaps; I just thought to also try to do something to cheer you up, since you’ve been down this week.” Luke smiles and kisses my forehead, moving back to say, “Thank you, you’re amazing.”

— (added new ones)

- clean ⬇️

“What are you doing?” Luke asks, walking out of the bedroom. “Cleaning? What does it look like I’m doing?” Luke sits down on the couch. “You clean a lot, you know that?” Luke lets out a little giggle. “At least I’m cleaning. Someone doesn’t do it often enough.”

“Oooh, that sounded bratty.” Luke laughs, getting up from the couch. He takes the broom out of my hand and starts sweeping. “Thank you.” Luke gives me a thumbs up with a gentle smile.

“Why do you like cleaning so much anyways?” I turn over and look at him. “I don’t know; it honestly calms my mind. Gives me something to think about.” I look back over and continue to dust off the shelves.

“I guess I could start helping with that too. Maybe it will help clear my mind.” I hum in response.

After about five minutes of silence, I turn to look to see what else needs cleaned and I meet with Luke’s chest. “Can you“ before I could say anything, Luke picks me up. “Put me down! I’m trying to clean!” Luke giggles, “nope! Time for a break. I miss you.”

He sits me down on the couch and starts tickling me. “I’m gonna kick you, stop it!” I say between laughs. “I dare you.”

—

[kinda-super-hot]

I Want More. (1)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Pairing: Harvey Specter x F!Lawyer!Reader - friends to enemies to lovers <3

Summary: This will be a series! Part 1: (Y/n) and Harvey were 'together' during their time at Harvard, but Harvey couldn't commit to an actual relationship. They 'break-up', or whatever you do to end a situationship, and split on bad terms. Years later, after they become successful lawyers, their paths collide once again when (Y/n) takes a job at Pearson Hardman.

Warnings: commitment issues, angst, arguing - I think that's it but if you noticed something I missed, please let me know.

Word Count: 1784

A/N: I haven't written in a WHILE. Please, please, please constructive criticism. Also, there's, like, no Harvey fanfics. I think I read literally all of them soooooo... that's why there's this thing. Anyways, lemme know if you're interested in part 2 (I already started writing lol).

Harvey and I didn’t used to be so distant. Once upon a time, while we were both attending Harvard, I was the person he went to practice flash cards to study for the bar. While I sat against my bed frame asking him questions off the cards, he’d lay on his stomach with his feet in the air. Seeing as we were both quick witted, we’d often get distracted and end with a battle of lighthearted jabs.

               And likewise, he was there for me when I had been stood up on a date with some frat boy. He ordered in some Chinese food and pulled a big tub of ice-cream out of my freezer. We sat on my goodwill couch picking apart the guy and making up some dumb unfathomable story as to why he hadn’t texted.

               “I can’t wait to hear the headline in the morning: Duke, whatever the hell his last name was, found having been thrown from his car in a head on collision right into a semi-truck loaded with rubber ducks.” He did a news reporter voice that didn’t sound far off from how he normally talked. “Luckily, the ducks cushioned his fall, so he only suffered having lost his phone and missing out on the opportunity of a lifetime with the (Y/N) (L/N).” I repress my giggle but can’t stop the goofy smile on my face. “What a loss.”

               “I mean,” I spoon more ice-cream into my mouth, “Who would name their son Duke? You can tell they wanted a dog.” He nodded along to that and all the other ridiculous things we talked about that night.

               But some friendships don’t last forever. Especially, when you want more.

               We grew closer and had fleeting kisses often. Some borderline dates, but never anything serious. Never anything real. Not to him.

               “Harv.” I called his name from the couch after I heard the door to his apartment open and close. He walked through the door with a smile on his face. “How was your day?” I asked, but I already knew the answer just by looking at his face. He had a mock trial set that day and absolutely crushed it. He was assigned the husband’s attorney and was in charge of making sure that the wife got the minimum of what she was entitled to without having signed a prenup.

               After he boasted about his triumph, I applauded him. But he wasn’t finished running his big mouth. And his next, one little comment, threw our relationship through a loop. “One of the stupidest things a person can do is get married.” He smirked as he took of his jacket and started on his tie.

               I froze in my place on the couch. He continued getting comfortable and taking off his restricting clothes with his back facing me. My throat was tight, but I persevered, I had to make sure that I had heard him right. “You think marriage is stupid?”

               I eyed his back feeling distraught. Every fiber in my being hoped and pleaded that he was joking, but my gut knew better. Moreso, it knew Harvey better.

               “Marriage, in my eyes, is an irrational vulnerability. There’s no point other than, I don’t know, taxes?” He rambles on with his back still facing me. My heart clenches. “And even then, it’s not worth it. Divorce can ruin everything. A man, his family, hell, it can run an entire business into the ground.”

               My head was throbbing, and I couldn’t help the hot tears that brim my eyes. “Huh.” I acknowledge. My voice feels raw already from holding back letting out any noises. “I didn’t know you felt that way.”

               My voice must have given me away because Harvey flicks his head over his shoulder to spare me a glance before double taking. His eyes widen and his body tenses. He turned his body to me and takes a step in my direction before stopping in his tracks. A tear falls down my cheek and I feel burning hot embarrassment in my chest.

               “Honey…” He gently grabs me by my biceps and looks into my eyes. “What’s wrong.” His voice is smooth as he caresses my cheek and pulls my face into his chest. I let out a choked cry and he rocks me back and forth for a few moments.

               I feel ridiculous. “Oh, it’s nothing.” I can tell I’m not being convincing when Harvey pulls my face from his chest and gives that knowing look before putting it right back where it belongs.

               I had no idea what to say. How do you tell your kind-of-but-not-really-boyfriend that you had already planned what the centerpieces at your wedding would look like? That this was it. This was everything you wanted. He was everything you wanted.

               “Even if it was me?” I blurted it out before I could really think about what I was saying. He looked confused for a second but then his face went stern.

               “Y/N.” All of a sudden, his delicate touch is a little heavier. “We’re not even-…” He cuts himself off and looks to the corner of the room. My mouth opened as I processed what he was too scared to say.    

               “You don’t want me.” My expression turned icy and I looked down. He let out a frustrated noise and pulled away from me. Though, I felt empty before he could even begin to move from my embrace.

               “That’s not it.” His brows were furrowed, and he wouldn’t look at me. That’s exactly it. I read his face and could feel he was holding something back. I was at a loss for words. I removed my body from the bed and let out an emotional scoff.

               I speedily walked into the bathroom, trying to make a plan. Any plan that won’t leave me anymore heartbroken than I already was.

Leave.

               It was my only option. I eyed the unused, small garbage bag next to the toilet and ripped it from its basket. “Y’know,” I suddenly felt his presence behind me. “I know you’re studying to be a lawyer and their whole schtick is lying and-” I started tossing my deodorant and face wash and every other thing I bought for his place into the bag. “-and withholding the truth.” I ranted in a demeaning voice. “But I didn’t think you would do that to me-”

               “What the hell are you talking about?” His voice was raised and his hands were out to his side in an exasperated way. “I didn’t lie!” I didn’t stop tossing things in, in fact I’d finished my bathroom segment and moved on to his closet.

               “You’re right- you didn’t lie, you just kissed me, went on dates, and cuddled me! But, oh no, you’re right. We’re not anything.” I growled as I tossed my spare shirts and pants from his closet onto the bed before stuffing them in my already bulging, see-through bag.

               He didn’t yell, but he did have an icy tone when saying, “It’s not my fault if you convinced yourself there was something here when there wasn’t.” I stopped trying to make everything fit into the bag. The next few seconds were silent as I let his words sink in. My heart had to have gotten heavier because it felt like it was in my gut. Either that, or I was about to vomit.

               All I could think was ‘get out’. I couldn’t look at him, fuck, my heart hurts so bad. I tie off the bag and walked from his bedroom into the living room and finally, slam his front door. I couldn’t help but stop outside of it to try and listen for footsteps… but I heard none.

               So, I left. For the next few days, I spent my hours crying, sleeping, crying again and completely and utterly alone.

               I hardly saw Harvey again whilst I was at Harvard, thank God we were in different law classes. Of course, with an ego as big as his, it was impossible not to at least hear about him every once and a while. During graduation, I grimaced knowing that he was a few feet away with that million-dollar smile on his face. Never the matter, I put a smile on my face too and high-tailed it when the picture was over.

I moved back to the city I was born and raised, not too far from New York. I practiced as an associate for a while, but quickly climbed the ranks and made Junior Partner at the firm. I had mind blowing reviews and an amazing success rate that assured a job offer at whatever firm would have me. In fact, I worked so hard at my firm, that I reached the capacity of what they could pay me as a Junior Partner. I could either become Senior Partner or go somewhere else if I wanted to continue to grow my paycheck.

               And if I learned anything from Harvey Douchebag Specter, it’s that I should never settle. I set my eyes on the most successful firm in New York: Pearson Hardman. One over the phone interview and a quick glance at my numerous 5-star reviews, recommendations, and success rate-and I was welcomed to the Pearson Hardman family.

I rented an apartment not too far from the firm and began unpacking the few things I had. After paying off my student debt, I went on a spending spree, and I wound up with more than I could manage. After being knees deep in Dior, I had to offload some stuff. I packed everything I couldn’t part with and donated everything else to be distributed to a few women’s shelter. They couldn’t contain their excitement and now I’m a part of the state-wide organization. Funny enough how those things happen!

Either way, it was a fresh start, through and through. I had the bare necessities, and I was content. A shopping spree for some Ikea furniture was calling my name, though. The apartment was a literal husk up and would remain that way until I could find the time to go shopping.

Being in the city where I studied law and had some of the toughest years of my life made me emotional, but in the best way. Now I’m back, and at least 3 times as kick-ass as before.

Of course, since Harvard, I’d heard a comment or two about Harvey and what he’s been up to, but I tended to butt my head out, far away from his business. I’m sure he’s somewhere still in New York, I mean, he loved this city- but New York’s huge! There’s no way I’ll be seeing him anytime soon.

[multific]

Little You-s and I-s

Thomas Shelby x Reader

Summary: You and Tommy deal with the changes that come with your pregnancy.

Your pregnancy changed you a lot.

You became more sensitive to smell for example.

One evening, Thomas arrived home from the bar, and as soon as you caught the smell of drinks and smoke on him, you rushed to the bathroom.

Then there was the incident when you craved fish but before you could cook it, the smell of it caught your nose and again, rushing for the toilet you went.

Thomas was incredibly happy when you told him the news, having his own family with you was always a goal of his.

What he didn't like however is just how sensitive you became and one thing that set it off easily was his cigarettes.

Thomas smoked a lot, so for him to not be able to do that in his own home was a bit challenging, but he still found ways to smoke one or two in the furthest part of the garden. Even then, sometimes the wind carried the smell right back to you.

"No smoking and no drinks!" yelled Tom at John as he pulled out a cigarette.

"What? Why?"

"My wife is pregnant, she is sensitive to the smell."

"Oooh, it got that bad huh?" asked John as you entered the room with a tray, on the tray there were some cookies and tea.

"I'll appreciate if you can hold yourself from smoking just this once John, the smell of it just..."

"No problem, thank you for the tea."

"I'll leave you to it." you smiled at your husband who nodded before he turned to John, talking about business.

When lunchtime was approaching, both John and Tom found themselves in the kitchen where you were currently chopping up some carrots and crying.

"Darling, I'm sure the carrots don't mind us eating them."

"Tell that to the headless chicken in the oven, Thomas!" you quickly said back making both men take a step back, Thomas should have known not to argue with you.

Both headed into the dining room instead.

"Is pregnancy supposed to affect a woman this much?" asked John in a hushed tone.

"I think so? I'm no expert John. Arthur has children, he might know more."

"She is glowing though. She was crying but she still looked like a Goddess."

"Can't argue with that, John. But keep your wandering eyes to yourself, she is my wife."

"Does she always cry during cooking?"

"As of late, yes. Yesterday, she made salmon, cried her heart about as she was talking about the poor little fishies the one she cooked left behind. But then this morning, she cried when she made salad. Saying the potatoes didn't deserve to die this way."

"So, she is sensitive to smell, cries when the cooks, can't get worse than that, I'd say."

"She talks back like I have never heard before."

"Okay, I was wrong it can get worse. You mean to tell me, that my lovely shy sister-in-law talks back? The one who didn't dare to tell you she didn't like the ring you gave her?" Thomas made a face at John's confession.

"She didn't like the ring?"

"No, she said she wished you would have given her something more simple. But she didn't want to tell you because she would hurt your feelings."

"Well now, with my child under her heart, she is not afraid to talk from her heart. The other day she told me I should dress better, apparently my suits make me look old. Then she wanted to dance and when I said I don't have the energy she complained that I never have when it comes to her. This is true sadly, however, the latest one... oh Johnny, my boy just before you arrived, she told me to ask you not to smoke and when I told her that you will be free to do as you please, the look. That look I know well, it's the look of someone who is about to murder. She said I either tell you to not smoke or-" Thomas stopped as he felt a shiver run down his spine, both men turned towards the door only to find you with the food in your hands on a tray. 

You approached them and placed the food in front of them. The air was cold, John swore he could have cut the tension with a spoon.

"I told him he either asks you not to smoke or I will seriously question his position as the leader, as all leaders should be listened to and respected. And if he is not able to do so, then I shall take his place. So, you are not allowed to smoke John." John nodded, not even daring to look at you.

"Th-Thank you for the meal." John said.

"I know I can be a handful since I'm with child, I feel the change in myself, the doctor said it was hormones to blame, but I seriously hope you do not plan on talking our dear Johnny's ears off with my silliness, Dear Thomas. He doesn't have to know everything."

"Of course, Love. I apologize." Thomas grabbed your hand and placed a kiss on it.

John left soon after lunch and you were now washing the dishes as Tom was reading in the living room.

Once all dishes were done, you headed into the living room, a soft song playing as he was reading in his favourite armchair. He put the paper down when he saw you approach and you sat on his lap, your head on his chest as he continued to read with one hand as the other was now around you, comforting you.

"Am I really that annoying that you talk to John about it?"

"You are not annoying, Love. Odd, sometimes yes, but that isn't due to pregnancy." you giggled a little.

You were fine with 'odd'.

"I try to control it, you know?"

"Oh, God, is this the controlled version? I'm scared now for the uncontrolled one."

"It will get worse, I'm warning you because the doctor said last week that this will only grow as the baby does."

"It's alright, your body will change, I can take a few harsh words, I took bullets after all." he placed a kiss on your forehead.

"Do you want a girl or a boy?" you asked with a rather quiet voice.

"I don't really care, as long as both of you are safe and healthy."

"So you want a boy, got it." Tommy laughed you looked up at him, into his blue eyes. "I just want them to have your eyes."

"What if they don't?"

"Then we try until we have a child who does." you smiled at him as he looked at you.

"Just how many children my Missus want?"

"Oh, as many as my lovely husband would give me. We have a big house, it would be nice to have some life in it. Little you-s and I-s running around."

"I would like that. Honestly, I would like that very much. But let's see how you do after this one, then we will talk."

You hummed before you placed another kiss on his lips, letting him return to his paper as comfortable silence fell.

Taglist: imreadinggoaway @fleursirvart @v-2bucky ehsebastiancrunch-time-sports  @pxstelrainbow ablogbypeteparker liamssmilersmexylemony @greenarrowhead feelingsareharddd @thisismysecrethappyplace @sincerelyfan @theoneanna @aestheticsandmarvel @rororo06 @castellandiangelo @avengers-r-us @destynelseclipsa   @spilledinkindumpster celebsimagine @capsiclesdoll snoopy3000 @firstangeldragonranch @puknow @crazzyter  @alwayshave-faith @soleil-dor @alex12948 scream-kiwi79  @lxdyred  @imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl​ @liveforkarljacobs @anonymoussherlockandmarvelgeek @paola-carter​ @stunkbiggu @violet-19999​ @praline357​

~Masterlist~

ˇAO3ˇ

             DO NOT REPOST OR TRANSLATE ANY OF MY WORKS

[ragingbookdragon]

Life becomes a bit simpler after her chat with Price; the others definitely notice as she’s not calling Ghost “sir” consistently, and she’s also not avoiding him like the plague. It’s almost upsetting for both Gaz and Soap, mainly because it gave them something to tease Ghost about—it was hilarious watching the way his jaw would clench when they did so. She may not be avoiding Ghost like usual, but she doesn’t go out of her way to directly engage him either. She’s calm, cool, collected when he speaks to her, even smiles at him from time to time, like she used to.

It’s her eyes that unnerves Ghost though.

She knows. And he knows she knows because his skin crawls when he recognizes the look in them. He used to hate it when he saw that. Saw it in every soldier, every superior, every civilian’s gaze when they whispered in the halls about him. But where theirs held pity, hers shine with understanding. With grace. With welcoming.

It makes his stomach churn uncomfortably and weight like lead settle in his bones.

***

Ghost has a routine when he can’t sleep. Usually wakes up at one, drinks a cup of decaffeinated tea, and goes back to sleep by three. No one else is usually awake during those hours except routine security and he trudges into the kitchen, intent to make himself a cup in his tired state, when he stops at the entrance, eyes widening when he sees her sitting there with a steaming cup of tea in front of her, and a bottle of whiskey.

She looks up at the intrusion and smiles tiredly at him. “Hiya LT. Funny meeting you here.”

“It’s one A.M.” he mutters. “Why aren’t you asleep?”

“Can’t sleep,” she replies, looking back at her tea.

Ghost takes a step into the kitchen, goes to the kettle when his eyes fall on the table again, and he realizes she has two cups of tea ready.

“You’re a piss poor liar,” he says under his breath, abandoning the kettle as he pulls out the chair and plops down beside her. “You makin’ hotty toddy’s?”

“Those don’t have tea in them,” she answers, but pours a decent amount of whiskey in his teacup. “But yes, I am.”

He hums, lifts the mask above his upper lip and takes a sip. “Not bad,” he cuts himself off with a cough and she purses her lips, trying not to laugh at him. “Not bad,” he wheezes, eyes watering, but he feels something light in his chest when he sees her smile.

It’s a comfortable silence they find themselves sitting in, drinking tea and staring at the board on the wall across the room in front of them. It’s Soap’s turn on dishes for the week. He’ll probably try to smooch his way out of it—he hates washing dishes. He’ll most likely ask her to switch duties with him; he’ll probably win.

“I’m sorry for snapping at you the other day.”

She blinks and looks over at him, but his eyes are still on the board, moving like he’s reading. “It’s…it’s okay, LT.”

“No,” he answers back immediately. “No, it wasn’t. And I shouldn’t have done it. I should’ve acted like an adult and instead I acted like a ten-year-old.”

A laugh passes her lips and he looks over at her curiously; she shakes her head. Price said something like that.” Her eyes meet his. “I’m sorry I’m always up your ass. I know it can be annoying.”

Ghost shrugs. “I’m used to annoying.” He catches the way her expression pinches and he corrects, “You’re not annoying, you’re just…”

“A lot?”

“Will you let me try and dig myself out of this hole, please?”

She smiles and reaches over, patting his leg. “I know what you mean. I’ll try to not be it.”

Ghost blinks and looks at her hand then back at her. “I miss it, y’know? You being…you.”

“Really?”

He nods. “It’s too quiet around the base. I realize how much your laughter makes us all feel when I don’t hear it.” He sips his tea.

She stirs the spoon in hers. “…Price told me about your family.”

“I know.”

“You know?”

He shrugs. “I figured he’d said something.” He nudges her in the side. “Gave you a talking to, didn’t he?”

“You’re one to talk,” she retorts, and he grins for a moment before he lets out a sigh.

“My old man was a drunk arsehole.”

“LT, you don’t—”

“No, I do,” he interrupts and leans back, staring at the ceiling. “He was a complete cunt. Beat me and my mum and brother. Tommy was a drug addict, started stealin’ from mum.” Something flickers in his expression. Cold. Old hatred. “I beat the shit outta my old man. Kicked him out for good. Got Tommy into rehab.” His tone eases somewhat. “Things got better. Tommy married Beth, had Joseph. Things were good.” Ghost’s eyes take on a sadness, an ache, a wound that has never seemed to really heal, just scab over. “Things were good,” he murmurs.

“And then…”

He inhales and exhales, swallows, tries to speak, until all he can say is, “I don’t like talkin’ ‘bout Mexico.”

She lays her hand on his. “You don’t have to.”

“I got vengeance for the blood that was spilled from my family.” He inhales and exhales again, closing his eyes for a moment. “���I’m claustrophobic. An’ I hate being around people. I hate bein’ in a room where I don’t know the exits. I hate gettin’ new people ‘cause I’m afraid to trust ‘em.” When she gives him a funny look from the last statement, he adds, “The people you know can hurt you the worst.”

“LT, I would never betray you.”

“Don’t ever say you won’t until you’re in a—”

“Simon, I would never betray you,” she repeats firmly, gazing at him intently. “I would rather die than betray any of the people on this team.”

He searches her gaze for some kind of lie before he turns his head back to the wall. “I’m afraid to let more people in ‘cause I’ve already lost so much of myself from it. I don’t know how much more I can take losin’.”

She goes quiet for a moment, thinks on his words, then counters, “I’d rather lose the people I care about than never know what it was like to love them in the first place.” She can see the way the man beneath Ghost aches to wish he could still be that man. “I’d rather lose you as my friend than never know what it was like to know the man beneath the mask.”

“I’m not a good man to know,” he murmurs, and she scoffs lightly.

“That’s your prerogative.”

“It’s the right one.”

She turns in her chair, her knees brushing against the outside of his thigh as she affirms, “Whether or not you think you are, you are my friend, and I am a better person for knowing you.”

“Puffin,” he mutters. “You gotta aim higher, love.”

“Or you can let me in.” She watches the way his Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows. “I’m not going anywhere. You can either accept that and be my friend, or you can reject it and ignore me forever, but I’ll still be here.”

Ghost‘s face pinches and he gripes, “You’re a pain in my arse, you know that, don’t you?” Her smile is bright as he sits straight again and leans against his arm, her head on his shoulder.

After a moment, she whispers, “LT, do you think…do you think in a different life we’d be better people? Happier?”

He tears his gaze from the wall to look down at her and he thinks for a moment, then nods. “Yeah, pet, I think we’d be better.” He shifts his arm, wraps it around the back of her chair and adds, “But I think you and me are doing just fine in this one.”

[annwrites]

— billy hargrove quotes  ⏧·₊̣̇. “ | thoroughfare

❝Hey, sweetheart, need a ride?❞

❝Sorry, you say somethin’, baby? I can’t hear you over the stereo!❞

❝Friday Night at the drive-in theater they’re having a showing of Nightmare on Elm Street. I was wondering if you’d want to go with me? Don’t worry, if you get scared, I’ll hold your hand.❞

❝Don’t waste your time, man. She’s a fuckin’ prude.❞

❝Y/N, who did this? I’ll fuckin’ kill him.❞

❝You want to go west and so do I. So, we might as well go together. At least you’ll be safe if you’re with me.❞

❝I'm not the one that gave her a tune-up. So, you want to ring my shit up now, or what?❞

❝If you think I'm about to let you behind the wheel, sweetie, you have another thing comin'.❞

❝You worry too damn much, darlin'. Might help you relax if you just got laid.".

❝See somethin' you like, darlin'?❞

❝Oh yeah, she wants me.❞

❝Because I don't need to worry about your ass disappearin'. And I'm fuckin' beat, so I'm not going back out. Close the damn door.❞

❝Knew I'd get you into bed eventually.❞

❝I don't mind 'em fiesty, y'know.❞

❝Mornin', sunshine. You sleep good? I know I did.❞

❝You want to take your frustrations out on me, baby? I can think of lots of funner ways to do it.❞

❝Just trying to get you to lighten up a little, sugar. You know, you are allowed to have fun.❞

❝You want to play footsie, darlin'?❞

❝Touch her again and I'll beat your fuckin' ass! You hear me, asshole?❞

❝Stay down, if you know what's fuckin' good for you.❞

❝Fine, yeah, I'm fuckin' jealous! That what you wanted to hear? Huh?❞

❝If you need somethin' else to lick, I know where you can put your tongue at, sweetheart.❞

❝I think you like getting those perfect feathers ruffled.❞

❝I definitely think at least one thing is pretty.❞

❝Trying to kiss you, pretty girl.❞

❝You're stuck with me, baby.❞

❝Please come back with me. I can't do this without you.❞ (...) ❝I don't want to be alone anymore.❞

❝You should see me under the hood of this thing, sweetheart. I’d really have you sweating then.❞

❝We’ll have to pick you up a bikini, sweetheart.❞

❝Oh, c’mon. Just try this one on. Humor me, honey.❞

❝Oh, baby, you should know by now: I’m not one to give up easily.❞

❝You should see what else these fingers are good at playing with.❞

❝Might want to slip your suit on, too if we're going to swim. Unless you'd rather skinny dip?❞

❝I'll tell you this much, honey, the water won't be the only thing making you wet tonight if I have anything to say about it.❞

❝You don't have to keep it together all the time with me. You can be whoever you want now; do whatever you want. No one's going to stop you.❞

❝I'll have to get you liquored up so I can finally take advantage of you.❞

❝God, you're such a fuckin' tease. I don't buy the innocent act anymore, so don't bother with it.❞

❝Be a lot warmer if you just pressed yourself up against me again like last night.❞

❝I'm not tired. You could always help with that.❞

❝Honey, if you wanted to spoon, all you had to do was ask.❞

❝No, that's not my pistol, before you ask. I'm just that happy to see you.❞

❝If you want to keep playing hard-to-get, sweetheart, we still have plenty days of driving before us, so we can play that game. Just know you won’t win.❞

❝I have no problem hand-feeding you, princess.❞

❝I’m nothing if not a man of my word, baby. I told you that you were stuck with me. I meant that. So I’ll wait for however long you want to keep holding out for. You take that to mean whatever you want it to.❞

❝Your hair looks nice, since I never told you. I was right: it makes you look hot.❞

❝You think I acted that way because I didn’t like you?❞ (...) ❝It’s the very opposite. You should know that by now, honey.❞

❝You want to talk, then we’ll talk. But I need to get my blood-alcohol level up first.❞

❝You like my package, sweetheart?❞

❝That your way of asking me to be sweet on you, baby?❞

❝I only had eyes for you since day one, baby. There was just somethin' about you, I guess. Honestly, I think it was the fact you never tried to get my attention.❞ (...) ❝Every man likes a chase. And I'll be damned if you haven't given me one. A few times.❞

❝But once I had her in the backseat and we got down to business, there was only one girl on my mind, and it sure as hell wasn't her.❞

❝You need a hand with that, baby?❞

❝Fuck,❞ (...) ❝Are you always this wet?❞

❝That feel good, honey?❞

❝When you come, sweetheart, I want you to fucking scream my name. I want half this damn place to hear it.❞

❝That's it, baby, come for me. C'mon, sweetheart, you're almost there.❞

❝That's my fuckin' girl.❞

❝Fuck, that's fuckin' perfect. Just like that, angel.❞

❝I'm so fuckin' close, baby. I'm about to cum. Fuck, keep going. Jesus Christ.❞

❝God, that was fuckin' perfect.❞

❝Please, angel, no one has said it to me since my mom left. Please... I feel it, too.❞

❝I know it’s not your monthly or I would’ve found out as much last night with my hand between your legs.❞

❝Don’t ever fucking touch her again! You hear me, you fuckin’ piece of shit?❞

❝You’re fucking mine. You understand me? You’re mine.❞

❝Next time I see another guy touching you, I won’t stop until I have fucking killed him.❞

❝Please don’t go. I’m in love with you.❞

❝I didn’t want to acknowledge it—admit it. I mean, fuck, what if you didn’t feel the same?❞

❝But I just…started seeing you differently the more we spent time together.❞

❝Please don’t leave. I’ll do fucking anything. Please, Y/N. I…I can’t lose you, too. Please, God, I’m begging you, stay.❞

❝I love you. Please. I’ll change, I’ll do whatever it takes. I’ll be whoever you need me to be. Just don’t walk out that door, I’m fuckin’ begging you.❞

❝Just let me prove to you that I can be better. The kind of man that’s worthy of you.❞

❝Angel, I know I don’t deserve you. Fuck, I probably never will. And I know you deserve a hell of a lot better than me. But you’re all I want. I’ve never wanted anything as badly as I want you. I…I need you. Just, what can I do to fix this?❞

❝I want you. Now. Maybe...maybe forever. I guess we can figure that part out together. If you'll still have me. If you could ever fuckin' forgive me for all the shit I've done—put you through. It's not always going to be perfect. I'm going to piss you off and keep getting on your last nerve for my own amusement. I'll never stop being a pain in your ass. But it's only because I—❞ He sighs. ❝Because I love you. So, please, just stay. I think... I think that we belong together. Who the hell else is going to put up with me the way you have? Who else could ever understand the shit I've been through but someone else who's been through it, too?❞

❝Honey, I don't want anybody else.❞

❝You have no idea what it meant to me, sweetheart. A lot. Before...whatever shit I did with a girl was just sex. Not intimacy. Things are different with you.❞

❝I didn't know what the fuck to do with that: being in love. So I did the only thing I knew how to and punished you for it. For making me fall for you. Even if that had never been your intention, it happened anyway. It was always going to, I think.❞

❝You've been a naughty girl and you're getting punished.❞

❝Jesus. Easy, killer. I said park it, not give me whiplash.❞

❝Now, how the fuck am I supposed to behave myself when I know what you look like under your clothes now?❞

❝You realize that when we're alone in a room together, I'm not letting you wear clothes ever again?❞

❝I can't believe you're finally mine.❞

❝Shh, I know. You're close, aren't you, sweetheart?❞

❝You're lucky I didn't finish in my fucking jeans just now.❞

❝You do know driving my car isn't the only thing I'm going to be teaching you, right?❞

❝I'll never love anyone else the way I love you, not after everything we've been through. Only we understand each other. No one else ever could—will. You're mine. Forever.❞

❝You're going to fucking cum this time.❞

❝God, you’re fucking soaked. I can hear just how wet you are.❞

❝C’mon, baby, I know you like this. Tell me what you need.❞

❝Tell me how to get you to cum all over my cock, doll.❞

❝You’re fuckin’ insatiable. And I thought my sex-drive was bad.❞

❝I told you I always get what I want.❞ (...) ❝I meant you, baby. It was always you.❞

❝Y’know what, putting you in cuffs at some point seems like a good idea, too, now that you mention it.❞

❝God, you look so fucking hot right now. You’re perfect, honey.❞

❝Maybe I should see what my shifter looks like inside of you next.❞

❝Now there's an idea. You want me to pull your hair, honey? I always wondered what it'd feel like wrapped around my fist.❞

❝Maybe I'll let you yank on mine, too, next time I have my head between your legs.❞

❝Besides, how the hell am I supposed to sleep with you pressed up against me like this all night?❞

❝My face has been between your legs, making a meal out of the place you piss from, and that's what turns you off?❞

❝Baby doll, you're on fire, how do you feel cold?❞

❝Without...without you, all of it means nothing. It'll have all been for nothing. It was for you. All this shit.❞

❝Incase you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m the jealous type.❞

❝Was half-tempted to get my knuckles bloody for you back then, too. Just from him asking you out alone. And right in front of me, at that.❞

❝So, I finally flipped her on her stomach, pretended it was you, and laid some pipe. End of story.❞

❝Not your type, huh? Guess I’m the real winner here after all. So, what was it about me, then? My car? My rebel attitude? My devilishly good looks.❞

❝I wouldn’t have done all of this for anyone else.❞

❝Just trying to show my girl a good time. What, you've never been young and in love before?❞

❝C'mon, baby, we'll go blow a grand at Circus Circus instead.❞

❝Think you might be my little good-luck charm.❞

❝Not my fault that my cock is all you can think about.❞

❝You should know by now that I’m in this for the long haul. That you’re it for me. I know you deserve better than me. You always will. But I’ll try my best, alright? To be a good dad. I had a shitty fuckin’ example, but maybe I can learn from his mistakes. I’ll take care of you.❞

❝We’ll…we’ll get married. I’ll be better than he was. I have to be. You deserve that.❞

❝Don’t worry, baby, you won’t be wearing it long.❞

❝I love you. I love you. I love you.❞

❝Promise me that you’re mine for forever.❞

❝Man, that is one hot mama.❞

❝You’re lucky I’ve already got you knocked up. Because if I didn’t?❞ (...) ❝You’d be on your back right now getting bred.❞

❝Trust me, kid, you could do a lot worse when it comes to parents.❞

❝I’m gonna marry that girl one day.❞

❝Not a good day unless I’ve gotten on your last nerve, sweetheart.❞

❝Well, well, look who it is.❞

❝Somebody specific you’re trying to catch the attention of tonight, sweetheart?❞

❝So, what’s that pretty lil’ heart desire?❞

❝If you’re lookin’ for fun, I’m right here, honey.❞

❝You’re dancing with a man, not a boy.❞

❝You look really pretty tonight. I don’t think I told you that.❞

[dreamwritesimagines]

The Eye of the Hurricane [3] - Payback

A.N: Here’s the new chapter my loves! ❤️ I hope you’ll like it, and please don’t forget to tell me what you think, thank you! ❤️

Summary: Guests shouldn't overstay their welcome.

Word Count: 2800

Pairing: MobBoss!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Violence, death, guns, crime, blood, explicit language. This is an AU, friendly reminder that I don’t condone any of the actions depicted on this story and please read with care.

Series Masterlist

You loved your best friend, you would die for her without hesitation but even you had to admit that to this day, her priorities still managed to surprise you.

“Someone shot at you and I wasn’t there? How dare you?”

You twirled the spoon in your hot chocolate. “Becca…”

“Seriously, I miss the one time someone has the audacity to try that shit?” Becca asked. “And Bucky was there instead of me? Ugh, the timing…”

“I promise I’ll call you the next time someone starts shooting at me.”

“You’d better,” she insisted. “And you didn’t even text me that night, I had to hear it from Bucky when he asked me where we got your dress from.”

You bit back a smile threatening to curl your lips.

“He shouldn’t have bothered,” you murmured. “I don’t want or need any gifts from him.”

She stole a look at you, then heaved a sigh and reached out to squeeze at your hand.

“I can’t believe you almost got taken.”

“I can’t believe someone hired a group of amateurs,” you corrected her. “I mean how rude is that? At least send a professional, you know? Where are their manners?”

“I heard Steve is still questioning the guy,” she said, taking her tea cup to her lips. “If he’s working for someone we know…”

“I doubt it.”

“So do I, but—” she paused for a moment. “Do you think this might break the truce?”

“No way,” you said. “I was unharmed and we don’t know who they are working for. Not to mention my father is too smart to break the truce.”

“Is Ian?” she asked nonchalantly and you shook your head.

“Ian isn’t the one calling the shots.”

“Thankfully,” she said, leaning back on her chair. “But he will use any and all excuses to start a war once he is the one calling the shots and the truce will be over.”

You pursed your lips before shaking your head.

“I’ll find a way to stop it,” you said. “That dickhead is not going to ruin everything our families worked for, no way.”

Becca waved her hands in the air.

“Ugh, let’s change the topic,” she said. “So you’re getting back together with your ex then?”

“It was just one dinner,” you said. “And he barely counts as an ex, really. We dated for a short time, and didn’t really spend much time outside bed.”

She wiggled her brows. “Well if you’re so eager to catch up with him after years, I’d say it was a pretty good time.”

A smile warmed your face.

“He was nice,” you said. “Nicer than most of my college boyfriends really.”

“Have you talked to him since the shoot-out?”

You paused for a moment, cradling the hot chocolate mug between your hands.

“I considered texting him but I doubt he wants to talk to me considering how disastrous that date was.”

“I don’t know,” she said with a shrug of her shoulders. “I wouldn’t call a shoot-out a disastrous date.”

“He actually got shot, Becca,” you reminded her. “He had to go to the hospital.”

“Alright but there are worse dates!” she insisted. “There was that one time back in college, a guy whipped out his guitar to spontaneously serenade me on a first date, that’s much worse than getting shot at.”

“I don’t disagree,” you said, scrunching up your nose. “Wasn’t there also that one girl who talked about her ex throughout your date?”  

“Still not as terrible as the serenade guy.”

You shot her a grin before sipping your hot chocolate. “I guess I could text Ethan,” you said. “He probably doesn’t want to see me again but I feel like I should apologize so…”

“And maybe he can ask you out on a second date when you see him again.”

“I really don’t think so—” you started but your phone started vibrating on the table, making you stop talking. You took a look at the screen, your frown deepening as you did.

“Why is Bucky calling you?” Becca asked with a small laugh and you scoffed, then hit decline.

“Must be an accident,” you said. “Anyways I was going to tell you, you remember that girl from—”

This time, it was Becca’s phone that started vibrating. She raised her brows and bit back a smile, then answered the phone.

“Yes Bucky?” she asked and stole a look at you. “Why?”

You ran a hand over your face, then mouthed “don’t” but Becca ignored you.

“What am I, your assistant?” she asked Bucky, then rolled her eyes as she listened to him. “Right right, very important as usual, fine. Yeah she’s here, I’m putting her on the phone.”

She handed you the phone and you let out a groan, then took it to your ear.

“What do you want?”

“What, no hello or anything?” he taunted you and you gritted your teeth.

“Hello Bucky, what do you want?”

“I need to see you.”

“I on the other hand could live out my days happily without seeing you,” you said and he chuckled.

“Is this still about the dress?”

“It’s about your existence in general.”

“Ouch,” he deadpanned. “So does 5 o’clock work for you?”

You checked your wristwatch.

“I have plans until 4 so no.”

“I meant 5 a.m,” he corrected you and you made a face.

“Do you just not sleep?” you asked. “I mean it wouldn’t surprise me if you were a vampire, now to think of it. Leather jackets, wearing all black, you have that brooding expression all the time…”

“I’ll text you the address.”

“Oh great, do that so that I can ignore that text,” you stated. “I’m not coming anywhere at 5 a.m.”

“Charm…”

“Why on earth would I even—”

“You need to be there to see our guest off, you know the rules.”

That was more than enough to make you pause, your head snapping up. You pursed your lips and ran a hand over your face, then huffed out.

“No promises.”

“See you at dawn sweetheart,” he said and hung up. You clicked your tongue, then handed Becca her phone back.

“What is that about?”

“Steve’s guest,” you said and Becca raised her brows, then shrugged her shoulders.

“Well,” she said, grabbing her tea cup. “No wonder you’re sending him off at dawn, I’d say he overstayed his welcome.”

                                                *

Meeting Ethan was going to be awkward, you knew it was. Too bad there wasn’t a get well soon card that also included an apology for causing a person to get shot as well, so you figured you could just come up with something when you were there. You walked through the door to the café, then slowly made your way to the table he was sitting at, typing into his laptop. You cleared your throat, making his eyes shoot up at you.

“Hey.” He pushed his chair back to stand up and you offered him a smile.

“Hey.”

“Please,” he motioned at the seat across from his and you sat down, then stole a look at his shoulder when he sat down as well.

“What did the doctors say?”

“That it was a clean shot, the bullet passed right through without hitting anything important,” he said. “They bandaged it and they’ll see, but it should heal without any issues.”

“Good,” you said, letting out a breath. “I’m glad.”

A silence fell upon you for a moment and he coughed lightly, sitting up straighter.

“So,” he said. “I guess it’s nice to have an answer to my question from earlier, after all these years.”

You leaned back in your chair, crossing your arms in silence.

“You could’ve told me, you know? While we were dating.”

“There was nothing to tell you then,” you said after you took a deep breath. “There’s nothing to tell you now.”

“Wait, what?” he asked, letting out a laugh. “You can’t be serious Y/N, come on…”

“What?”

“How else would you explain what happened that night?”

“An unfortunate incident,” you said with a shrug of your shoulders and he shot you a look.

“Steve’s men talked to me,” he said. “You have nothing to worry about, I’m not going to tell anyone anything so you don’t have to give me that. I get how it works.”

“Oh do you now?” you asked with a small smirk and he held up his hands.

“I’ve watched The Godfather for three times,” he said, coaxing a laugh out of you.

“You do realize that if it were anyone else, they would be running for the hills right now instead of meeting up with me again?”

“I mean I’m not going to lie, it’s very intimidating,” he said. “That whole thing. But I also think you’re the most interesting person I’ve ever met.”

The smile on your lips faded and you swallowed thickly before biting inside your cheek, trying to keep your expression flat.

“Ah,” you said, the familiar disappointment sinking your stomach. “That’s why you accepted to talk to me again?”

“What?”

“Because you think what happened back there was exciting or something?” you asked with a scoff, then reached out to grab your purse. “You should sign up for bungee jumping classes if that’s what you want—”

“No no,” he cut you off, shaking his head. “You misunderstand me. It was terrifying.”

You arched a brow. “And yet…

“You didn’t have to do what you did to protect me,” he said, making you pull your brows together.

“I beg your pardon?”

 “I saw you,” he said, letting out a chuckle. “You were—you were kicking their asses until you saw they held the gun to my head. That’s why you stopped. For my safety.”

You pursed your lips together, then put your purse back in the chair, leaning back.

“Ethan…”

“I mean, if you’re a part of that world—”

“I said nothing like that,” you said almost automatically and he let out an impatient breath.

“Fine,” he said. “Hypothetically speaking, if you were a part of that world—”

“Hypothetically speaking,” you cut him off and stole a look around the café. “If I were a part of that world, I’d say there are rules. A code of honor.”

“A code of honor?”

“Live by the sword, die by the sword,” you recited what you had heard from your father and everyone around you multiple times. “But hypothetically, if someone is not a part of that world… Civilians didn’t sign up for that shit, and no one can force them to. Trust me, what I did wasn’t anything special.”

“Either way,” he said. “Code or not, I don’t think anyone else would have done it. That’s why I wanted to meet you actually, to thank you. What you did back there, it means a lot.”

Oh.

This was unexpected. If it were anyone else, they probably would have never wanted to see you again, let alone actually thanking you but it shouldn’t have been that surprising that Ethan saw it like that. It was one of the first thing that had drawn you to him back at college, he always managed to see the best in people.

“…Seriously?” you asked, a tiny ray of hope warming your chest and he nodded.

“Seriously,” he said. “I mean I’m not going to pretend it’s not scary but at the end of the day, I liked spending time with you.”

“I liked spending time with you as well,” you said with a small laugh. “Minus the incidents.”

“Fingers crossed for fewer incidents,” he joked and you nodded.

“No promises but I’ll try my best,” you said and he grinned, then drummed his hand on the table.

“So can I buy you a cup of coffee?”

“Oh it’d be great thank you!” you said as he stood up. “You’re very sweet. A decaf latte please.”

 He tilted his head. “Decaf?” he asked. “I remember you downing five espresso shots with zero problems, what happened there?”

“I can still do that but I should cut down on caffeine today,” you said, smiling slightly. “I need to get up really early tomorrow.”

“How early are we talking?”

“5 a.m.” you said with a sigh. “And it will not be fun, I’m telling you.”

“You’re starting on yoga or something?”

A small laugh climbed up your throat and you nodded your head.

“Uh huh,” you said as he walked to the counter. “Or something.”  

                                                      *

When the car pulled over in front of the skyscraper, you lifted your head off the window, wiping the drool off your cheek as discreetly as you could.

“We’re here, miss.”

“Thank you Carl,” you murmured before a yawn split your face and stretched out your tired muscles. The sky was still dark, and the chill of the air sent a shiver down your spine when Carl opened your door for you. You rubbed at your arms in an attempt to warm yourself up, then walked into the skyscraper with two bodyguards following you.

You stepped into the elevator and pressed the button that would get you to the roof, rubbing at your eyes while you checked your reflection in the mirror. The classic music filled the elevator, making you hum along until it came to a stop and the doors opened.

“Let’s do this then…” you murmured and walked out of the elevator, your whole body tensing up because of how cold it was. Bucky was standing in the middle of the roof, some of his men pacing around while two of them stood by the edge of the roof, looking down. The tight rope on the floor caught your eye and you followed it to the edge, tilting your head to the left.

“Is that him?” you asked and Bucky looked over his shoulder, then turned around to see you better.

“Charm,” he said. “Good morning.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” you muttered. “Why are we doing this at this hour again?”

“No potential civilian witnesses,” he said as you approached him, your shoulders still tense. He took a look at you, then shrugged off his long coat and dropped it over your shoulders, his pleasant scent filling your nostrils.

“I’m not even cold,” you said through chattering teeth even though your body immediately welcomed the warmth, and he scoffed a chuckle.

“Mm hm,” he said. “Of course you’re not.”

“That being said, I’ll send it back after I get home,” you said, your nose stuck in the air as you rolled the sleeves of the coat up a bit. “I’m not catching pneumonia just because you decided to pull this shit at dawn.”

“You should keep it,” Bucky said with a small smile. “Looks good on you.”

You rolled your eyes. “If you think—”

“Please don’t kill me, please!” the shout coming from the ledge cut you off and you glanced at the rope, then up at Bucky.

“How long has he been begging, exactly?”

“Too long for my patience,” he muttered before he raised his voice; “Shut it, asshole!”

“No no no, please I can—I’ll change,” the guy said. “I’ll—I’ll never cross paths with her again, I swear!”

“Funny, he seemed much more confident while he was shooting at me,” you commented and a dark shadow passed over Bucky’s eyes.

“Deadly mistake,” he drawled and you took a couple of steps to go to the edge of the roof to look down at the man hanging by a rope over the edge of the roof. He was too panicked to even notice you while he dangled there, trying to break free from the rope and you took a deep breath, then turned to Bucky.

“What’s his name?”

Bucky put a cigarette between his lips, then lit it and exhaled the smoke.

“Tony Willis.”

“No no no, please help me—”

“Tony Willis, you have been accused and found guilty of multiple crimes against the city,” you recited the speech you had heard from your father many times. “You have put civilians in danger, attacked a member of a key family, and tried to break the truce. The—”

“I’ll change! I’ll change I promise you!”

“The punishment for these crimes is death,” you continued, deaf to his begging. “The sentence is to be carried out immediately, by a member of the family or a person of their choosing.”

You stepped away from the ledge to walk to Bucky, ignoring the pleas of the man and Bucky stubbed his cigarette before holding out his gun for you, but you shook your head.

“I don’t want my hand to smell bad,” you muttered, scrunching up your nose and a fond smile appeared on Bucky’s lips.

“As the princess wishes,” he said, his voice almost soothing before pointed the gun at the rope on the floor. “Live by the sword, die by the sword.”

He fired the gun at the rope, making it snap in half and the man’s shouting ceased immediately as he plummeted to his death. For a moment no one said anything, a silence falling upon the rooftop while you stared at the first rays of the rising sun before you hid your yawn behind your palm, then lowered your hand and glanced up at Bucky.

“Well then,” you said, crossing your arms. “I don’t suppose you brought coffee?”

Chapter 4

[so-long-soldier-writes]

Best Friend's Brother

kai parker x reader

summary: you should've known she'd find out and it would ruin your friendship. still, you can't find it in yourself to regret it.

tags: light angst, arguing, eventual smut, rough kissing, rough sex, unsafe sex, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, light fluff, spooning

word count: 2.1k

a/n: i wrote this like two months ago but am just now posting it. the majority of my requests are smut and i'm in a brain fog, so i'm having a bit of a struggle. still, i hope to have them out soon. bare with me! ily <33

“You slept with my brother?!”

“Liv-”

“No! You don’t understand! He’s a killer. He tried to kill me; he chased Luke and I around our house when we were four. How could you do this to me?!”

“Let me explain, Liv, I-”

“Explain what? Explain how, ‘it just happened’? How you ‘just fell into bed with him’? What is there to explain?”

“I… I didn’t do it to hurt you! I would never hurt you on purpose. It just…” your words fade, “...happened.”

“Yeah. There it is. ‘Just happened.’ What, did he trick you, or manipulate you?”

“He didn’t do anything, Liv. I wanted it just as much as he did.”

She shakes her head, eyes wild, yet full of hurt. “Were you drunk? Like, I don’t understand.”

“I wasn’t drunk. I mean, I had a glass of bourbon, but I wasn’t impaired.”

“When?”

“Huh?”

“When did it happen?!”

“The other night. I was here, drinking, and he came in. We talked for a while, co-miserated, and then, just…”

“The night I was off?” She smiles, but it’s not a kind one. “Of course.”

“Liv-”

“Who initiated? Who started it? Did he advance towards you, or did you start it?”

“Olivia-”

“Who fucking started it?!”

“I don’t remember, I-”

“Who made the first fucking move, Y/N, I swear to god!”

“I don’t know! I…” You try to remember. “He kissed me first, right outside the door. Pushed me up against the building and I let him.” She exhales, but then tenses again as you say, “but I put my hand on his leg while we were still inside.”

“Y/N-”

“Our knees were touching, underneath the table, and at some point, I laughed at something, and almost fell over in my chair. I was at the bar, sitting in those tall stools. He put a hand on my arm to stabilize me, and I reached out to his leg. We both kind of stopped me from falling, but then I kept my hand there. Let it travel up his thigh… He had this dark look in his eyes, and it should’ve scared me, but it had the opposite effect. The bartender then kicked us out for being touchy, and it was late anyway, and then things just escalated from there. I’m so sorry, Liv.” You reach a hand out to comfort her. 

“Don’t fucking touch me! Don’t ever touch me again. Knowing the same hands that used to hold me when I cried fucked my brother makes me sick. I fucking hate you.”

“Liv-”

“Get out,” she points to the door. 

“Please don’t do this.”

“You did this to yourself. You can have him. Don’t come crying to me when he tries to kill you.”

“L-”

“What’s wrong?” Luke enters the bar with the worst possible timing. He looks at his sister, crying, yet bubbling with anger. He looks at you, hurt, but defensive. “What happened?”

“She was just leaving,” Liv answers for you both.

“Why? Guys, what happened?”

“She’s a bitch. She means nothing to me.”

“Liv, please.”

“Get out!” 

You shoot Luke a sympathetic glance before finally listening to his sister. The other customers in the bar are starting to watch. Most of their attentions’ were grabbed at the “fucked my brother” part, and now they’re just staying for the girl-on-girl fight. 

“Y/N,” Luke starts as you leave. 

You only shrug, then slam the door on your way out. 

You’re pissed at everyone right now. Pissed at Liv for kicking you out; at Luke for walking in when he did. You’re pissed at Kai for kissing you; at Jo for telling her sister what happened.  You’re even a little pissed at Sheila Bennett, for indirectly putting all the Parkers in Mystic Falls at the same time.

Anger, however misplaced, is still anger. 

But most of your anger is directed at the source: you. It’s your own fault that any of this happened. You started things with Kai that night. You didn’t lie well enough when Jo asked why you were late for class. You made a choice to sleep with your best friend’s brother, and of course she would be mad about it. Her twin, as always, will stand beside her, and it’s your fault that both of them will hate you now. 

You deserve it. It’s your fault for sleeping with him. 

You curse yourself bitterly. 

Another thing you’re pissed about… enjoying it. 

You liked sleeping with Kai. You liked flirting with him. You liked the darkness in his eyes, and the way he pushed you up against the brick wall. You liked the way he kissed you, hard and rough, until your lips were sore. You liked his tongue on your neck and his hand down your pants. You liked the old man smoking on the street corner telling you to get a room. 

Kai is a killer, and a sociopath, and a narcissist, and that makes him dominant, and possessive, and controlling. They’re not good traits to have in a relationship, but hell, they make for good sex. He kept a hand on your back the whole way home, and when you finally reached your apartment, he picked you up and threw you on your bed. He wasted no time climbing on top of you, trailing his hands all over your body, teasing with gentle touches you’d never expect. His jeans grew tighter and tighter with every passing minute, but when you reached up to feel him through the fabric, he slapped your hand away. 

It wasn’t until you were undressed - your clothes, ripped off and thrown to the floor - that you could touch him. He let you feel the erection in his pants for two seconds, before clasping your hands together in one of his own and pinning them above your head. Kai then had his way with your body, kissing your face and neck, sucking at your breasts, nipping at the skin down your stomach, and then licking your heated core. He held your hips down with one hand, but kept the other on your pinned hands until he needed it to push two fingers inside you. When your hands dug into his hair, he didn’t fight it. In fact, he moaned so deeply, it vibrated throughout your body. You came on his face without warning, and he didn’t slow down for a second. 

Kai didn’t let up until your body was shaking with the force of three orgasms in a row. He wore a satiated smile when he lifted his head to kiss your lips, then grabbed your jaw to open your mouth. Effortlessly, he spat a mouthful of your come and his spit, and waited for you to swallow it. You did, and what little he missed that dripped from his lip, you leaned up to lick off. He took your lips again in an open kiss while his hands worked at removing his belt. 

A smile was on his face when he broke off the kiss. Dimples were planted into the sides of his cheeks and they made you giggle. 

“You okay?” He asked, lining himself up with you.

“Mhm.”

“Words, princess.”

“Yes.”

“Atta girl.”

You sat back on your elbows as he pushed in. He was unexpectedly, suddenly, shy as he did, as if it was his first time. He was gentle, too, and watched your face, waiting for you to adjust. You nodded for him to continue before he was ready, and he took an extra few seconds before beginning to thrust. 

One hand rested beside your hips. The other, he kept on the base of his cock, because he slipped out a couple times at first. That’s when you realized it probably was his first time. After another minute, he spread your legs further and climbed more atop your body, then found his rhythm.

It was a very human-like thing for him to do. For him to learn sex is a matter of trial and error. You could feel your heart falling for him in that simple moment. Your mind, sober, as the alcohol wore off a bit ago; your thoughts, recognizing you’re on your bed, with Kai Parker on top of you, and you like it. 

He was a quick learner. He found he'd slip up less if he only pulled out halfway before thrusting back in. He paid attention to angles and how to hit the deepest parts of you. He acknowledged the sounds and faces you’d make in reaction to his movements. When your nose scrunched up, you liked it less; when your lips parted, you were much more pleasured.

Kai was nothing if not observant. In less than an hour, he had learned how to read you. 

He brought two fingers to your clit and rubbed harshly. He’d spit on your stomach and watch it run down your body, slick with sweat. Sweat would drip down his own face, too, as he fucked you hard into your bed.

But despite the skill he had procured, his thrusts got sloppy much too soon. It was obvious he was trying to hold off his high, but with each moan that escaped his lips, you could tell he was close. He wrapped his lips around your tits and sucked harshly, whether to shut himself up or bring you to another high, you weren’t sure. After only another minute, he came. He scrambled to pull himself out, not knowing what kind of protection you had, but knowing he had worn none. Half of it spilled onto your stomach, but some was missed; you could feel it inside you. 

“Fuck,” he muttered. 

He bent his head down to lap it up. What he could reach with his tongue, he retrieved, but some expertly evaded. The feeling of him exploring your hot and sore core brought you to the fourth orgasm you almost missed by him pulling out early. You bucked your hips upward, overstimulation searing throughout your body, but he pushed you back down on the bed. 

“Kai, I can’t,” you told him, tears pricking at your eyes, almost fearing a fifth.

Luckily, he only swiped his tongue around once more before drawing it out. Then, he licked a stripe up your stomach, tasting his own cum mixed with yours. It flooded his taste buds and he swallowed it before licking up more for you to try. By that time, you expected his next move. When he grabbed your jaw to force open your mouth, you stuck your tongue out to receive. He smiled before spitting the mixture inside, then slapped your pretty little cheek gently as it went down your throat. 

It took you a second to recover, both of you. Kai had collapsed to your side as you lay flat, and the both of you fought to regain your breath. After a moment, you turned your body in to face him, and took his cheeks in your hands. You were about to speak when he asked you a question,

“Do you regret it?”

“No.” There was no hesitation in your voice, and it was true. You didn’t even regret the lack of protection you both neglected to remember. “Do you?”

“No.” He looked intently into your eyes. “Were you going to say something?”

“Just that you look absolutely beautiful post-high.” This was also true. His eyes had this glossy look about them that was stunning. Not to mention the sweat glistening his cheeks, or even the redness in his face from the exhilaration. 

He smiled in response to the unexpected praise, and the dimples returned to his face. You couldn’t help the soft kiss with which you’d grace his lips in the next moment, and he wasn't able to help the blush that burns him even brighter. 

“You’re gorgeous, too,” he complimented. “I’ve been watching you for a while. Hoped to talk to you, but didn’t think I’d get lucky enough to get this far.”

“Blame the shot of confidence I needed to talk to you for that,” you joked. “It got me further than I thought, too. Not that I’m complaining.”

He chuckled, then moved his face to kiss your fingers, still on his cheeks. 

“I have class tomorrow,” you muttered, realization hitting you. 

“I guess I should go then.” He didn’t get up, but voiced it as a question. 

You, shyly but genuinely, responded, “you could stay.”

And so he did. A quick shower, separate due to soreness, was the only thing to drag you out of bed, but then you crashed right back in it in a new change of clothes. Kai spent the night with you, spooning your back with an arm wrapped protectively around your body. It wasn’t until late the next morning that you woke up, late for class, and hurrying to leave. Within an hour, you departed at the same time, but not without a promise to meet again soon. 

[apute11as]

Baby troubles - Alexia/Jenni x child!reader

Summary: Mami and Mama have some big news to tell you, who knows how you’ll react.

Warnings:⚠️pregnancy, sickness, hitting, suggestive language.

Based on this request 🤍

~~~~~

Mami and Mama told you they had important news to share with you this weekend. You wondered what it was and why they couldn’t just tell you straight away but they’d insisted that they had planned a special day on Sunday, where they’d tell you the news.

It was currently Saturday and you were excited as you were spending the day with Tia Alba and Abuela. Alba had taken you to the park whilst Abuela was preparing lunch and you’d bumped into Mami and Mama’s teammate Irene and her son Mateo. Mateo was a good friend of yours as the two of you often ended up playing together with his other mom when Alexia, Jenni and Irene were training with the national team.

The two of you played together for a while whilst Tia Alba sat on a bench and talked to Mateo’s mothers. After a little while, Tia Alba called you and told you it was time to go back for lunch.

When you got home, the smell of food instantly hit your nostrils and you bounded inside to see what was for lunch. To your delight, Abuela was cooking up Tortilla Española which was your absolute favourite. You’d also spotted Panellets in the oven which made your excitement grow even further. Normally, Abuela only made them on special occasions but you welcomed the change.

“Hola Bebé how was the park?” she greeted you with a smile

“So good Abuela we saw Mateo!” You beamed

“Yes we did she was a very good girl!” said Alba

“Ah well that’s good because good girls get dessert!”

“Si si I am so good!” You shrieked with excitement.

——

Lunch was nice and dessert was even nicer. You spent the rest of the afternoon playing games and watching a movie with Tia Alba. The two of you were snuggled up together on the sofa when the doorbell rang. Abuela went to answer it, and was met with the two stressed faces of your Mama and Mami.

“Hola Mami how has she been?” Questioned Alexia, leaving a kiss on her cheek.

“She’s been good mija don’t worry it’ll be fine, how are you feeling?” she questioned her oldest daughter, hand placed on her flat stomach.

“Fine Mami stop fussing please” said Alexia shaking off her mother’s hand.

“Hola Eli” said Jenni from behind

“Hola querida” she said greeting Jenni with a hug and kiss to the cheek.

“Mama! Mami!” You yelled, racing toward them and wrapping them in a group hug!

“Oh mi amor” said Alexia picking you up and hugging you further.

“Careful Ale” warned Jenni as Alexia carried your weight on her hip

“It’s fine Jen and hush she doesn’t know” urged Alexia

“She won’t know what I mean” scoffed Jenni

“She’s also got ears and an annoying habit of repeating stuff so I’d drop it, both of you” added Alba gesturing to you.

“What’s going on?” You asked, confused

“Nothing bebita are you ready to go home? Go find your shoes and bag, Mami can help you” suggested Alexia.

“Mami can help can she?” Asked Jenni with a raised eyebrow.

“Si she can unless she wants me to have to bend over and carry her heavy rucksack?” said Alexia raising her own eyebrow.

With a sigh, Jenni silently agreed and began getting you ready to leave.

“Whipped” said Alba with a laugh that earned her a smack from her sister and mother

——

Once you made it home, Mama cooked some dinner whilst you and Mami sat on the counter drawing a picture each.

“Would you like to help or keep drawing your flowers like the child you are?” Alexia questioned Jenni

“I’ll keep drawing thanks for the offer babe” teased Jenni

“You’re insufferable you know that” said alexia waving a wooden spoon in Jenni’s direction

“Oh but you love me” she replied, standing up to hug her wife from behind.

“Maybe a little bit” huffed alexia

“Mmm only a little bit” hummed jenni, kissing her neck softly.

“Ay no not in front of the baby” hissed Alexia swatting her wife with the wooden spatula, causing you to erupt into a fit of giggles.

“Oh spanking with a spatula, that’s something I could get on top of or underneath your choice babygirl” retorted Jenni with a suggestive wink, hands wandering over her wife’s body.

“Oh! My! God!” Pleaded Alexia, smacking her again after each word. “You are disgusting Jenni Hermoso! What if she repeats your words at school or to my mother huh? What would we do then” she urged

“Ugh fine you’re right sorry bebita” Jenni replied, kissing Alexia’s cheek with a grin before holding a hand out for you to high-five, which you gladly did.

“Seriously you’re teaming up against me now” Alexia said with a sarcastic pout. “I hope the next baby is on my side” she smirked.

“Ale!” Hissed Jenni at Alexia’s comment on the baby.

They hadn’t told you yet and had planned a way of telling you tomorrow, that would ensure the best reaction out of you.

“No next baby!” you shouted

“Ay why no next baby?” Jenni questioned, her gaze flickering between you and her wife’s glossy eyes that looked as though they might burst into tears at your comment.

“Our family is a 3 and girls only! We can’t have a boy baby in it!” you announced

“What about a girl baby?” Jenni pushed further

You thought about it for a minute. A girl baby might be acceptable, you could share toys and play dress up together! But you’d have to share Mami and Mama and you wouldn’t be their little baby anymore.

“No no girl baby! No boy baby! Just me, you and Mama!” You spat

As if on cue, Mama burst into tears beside you.

“Oh Ale, hey don’t cry she’s not thought about it properly” Jenni pleaded, wrapping the younger woman in a hug, allowing her to cry into her shoulder.

“Why is Mama crying?” You asked confused and worried as to what had happened.

“She’s gonna be ok bebé why don’t you go put the tv on for a bit?” Offered Jenni, still holding a tearful Alexia.

“No! Why is mama crying?” you insisted

“Should we just tell her now?” Jenni questioned

“She will… hate me” Alexia hiccuped between tears

“No mi querida she won’t she’ll get over it eventually and she’ll love having someone” Jenni comforted

“please tell me Mama, no hate you never!” you said jumping out of your seat and joining the hug.

Mami picked you up and placed you onto her hip, wrapping an arm around a tearful Alexia and guiding her to the living room. She sat down and pulled Alexia to sit beside her, manoeuvring you onto her lap.

“Bebita we have some important news to tell you but please don’t be mad or upset okay?” Jenni began

“Okayy…?” You frowned

“So do you remember all the needles Mama kept having to put in me every night?”

“Yes they were scary I don’t like needles” you gagged

“Well those needles were from a special doctor and they put something in me to make eggs”

“Eggs?! Your special doctors gave you scrambled eggs needles?” You blurted loudly

Jenni couldn’t help but smile at your obliviousness.

“No mi amor not scrambled eggs, special eggs and when these special ‘scrambled’ eggs from my body are taken by the doctor, the doctor mixes it with something special. Then the doctor put them into Mama” she explained

“I don’t get it” you said with a nose scrunched in confusion.

“Well these special eggs made a little tiny baby in Mama and then after 9 months a little baby will be born” she continued cautiously

“And then you and Mama will give the baby back to the scrambled egg doctor?” you questioned. Jenni felt Alexia tense up and dig her fingernails into the hand she was holding at your comment.

“Well no, this is what we did with you but the other way around. We used Mama’s eggs and my belly and then we had you, so we keep the baby and it’s your baby sibling, how’s that?”

“No don’t want a baby sibling! Give the baby back to the scrambled eggs doctor!” You yelled, smacking your Mami’s arm and running off to slam your bedroom door behind you.

“I told you” Alexia whispered before beginning to cry again. Jenni pulled her onto her lap and began carding her fingers through Alexia’s hair.

“She’ll come around bebita don’t worry” Jenni offered

“How can I not worry Jenni she hates me and she hates the baby, I wish we’d never decided to have another” sobbed the blonde

“No no Ale don’t say that, she’s going to love this baby, we just need to have a proper chat with her ok?” She said kissing her wife’s forehead and wiping the tears away with her thumb pads.

“Okay we can try” Alexia gave in

You’d ended up falling asleep after your outburst, so Jenni and Alexia decided to leave you be and retire to their own bed. Jenni had run a bath for the both of them to destress and had then held Alexia until the two drifted into sleep.

——

Alexia awoke bright and early the next morning as she felt a wave of morning sickness overtake her body, she sprang out of bed and threw up violently into the toilet bowl.

“Oh bebé” Jenni sighed in empathy, remembering when she was pregnant with you and how awful the sickness felt.

“Sorry I woke you” replied Alexia stiffly

“No amor don’t apologise, do you want some water?” questioned the older woman

“Si por favor” replied the blonde

“Ok I’ll be back in a minute bebita” assured the striker, bending down to kiss the midfielder on the head, before making her way into the kitchen.

Jenni grabbed a glass out of the cupboard, and filled it with cold water from the fridge. She was just about to make her way back to the bedroom to give it to Alexia, when she felt a small tug on her sleep shirt.

Glancing down she was met with your small form, clutching your old baby blankie and looking up at her with big eyes.

“Hola pequeña in just getting this for Mama and then I’ll come back and see you okay?”

She questioned

“Sorry Mami, I made Mama cry I didn’t mean to.” You pouted, eyes wide

“Hey it’s ok Bebita” she comforted, placing the cup down on the side and hoisting you onto her hip. “How about you come with me and you can apologise to Mama?” She questioned picking the glass back up and moving you into one arm.

“Okay Mami” you smiled

Jenni walked carefully into the other room, you helping her by opening the bedroom door, as she had no hands left from carrying both you and the glass of water.

Upon entering the room, you were surprised to see your Mama hunched over the toilet, face pale, body slumped.

“look who I found on the way” Jenni said putting you down on the floor outside the bathroom and placing the glass on the floor next to her wife.

You stood watching shyly from the doorway, flinching as your Mama threw up into the toilet bowl.

“Mama are you sick?” you asked timidly, sucking at your blanket.

“No mi amor, I’m ok” she replied, exhaustion evident in her voice

“Why’d you throw up?” you asked

“Because I’m growing a baby in me and sometimes the baby makes me feel a bit sick so that it can grow properly”

“Baby hurt you?”

“No not hurt me just make me a bit uncomfortable that’s at all” she said sipping her water slowly

“Oh ok, when I was in Mami’s belly did I make her sick too?” you asked innocently

“You definitely did, I was up every morning throwing up when you were in my belly” laughed Jenni as she rubbed soothing circles around Alexia’s back.

“Will you love this baby more than me?” you asked quietly

“No bebé where did you get that from?” Asked Jenni

“Well a girl at my school said that she got a new baby brother and then all her family were so excited and gave all the attention to him when he was born.” you explained. “I don’t want a baby sibling because I don’t want you and Mama to forget about me” you said, pouting sadly

“Oh mi amor we would never forget about you, we won’t love you or the baby more than one another” stated Jenni, moving to wrap you into a hug.

“Will baby share my toys?” You asked

“A little bit but we will also get baby some new toys, is that okay with you?” Asked the striker

“Yes I can share with baby” you smiled “sorry for shouting at you Mama” you said moving to hug her.

Alexia attempted to stand up to meet the hug but stumbled back down, forgetting that she’d just basically thrown up her entire stomach lining and likely had no energy left. Jenni moved to catch her before she fell back down, before picking her up bridal style.

“Alright cariño we’re going to take you to the bed okay?” Jenni asked the blonde who was draped limply in her arms.

“Gracias amor” she replied weakly

“We are gonna take care of you and baby Mama!” you assured her

“Thank you Bebé te amo mucho” alexia smiled at you

“I love you and Mami too and I will love my baby sister too”

“Or brother” Jenni chimed in

“Fine maybe a baby brother is allowed” you replied causing the pair to laugh at your answer.

~~~~

Thank you for reading, I’m finally working my way through requests 🤣

[goldenlikedayl1ght]

taking what's not yours - f. castle & m. murdock

a/n: ALRIGHT ITS FINALLY DONE uhhh sorry this has no smut i was just goofing and wanted to write something cute with our two favorites and you guys seemed to really want this one so! i have no regrets actually! im gonna go take a nap now warnings: polyamorous relationships, frank has nightmares, reader is autistic, reader has an oral fixation/biting problem, nosebleeds/blood, crying, cursing, lots of cute nicknames, talks of death, some sexual comments, lots of kissing and fluff word count: 3.2k comments and feedback are always appreciated <3 summary: a week in the life of a relationship with frank castle and matt murdock, your two favorite vigilantes. pairing: frank castle x autistic!gn!reader x matt murdock now playing: taking what's not yours - tv girl "you know where to find me/and i know where to look"

Soft country music from before country music as a genre went modern and became what it is today plays from the radio Frank insists on keeping on while he cooks dinner. His flannel is tight around his chest and the sleeves are rolled up as he brings a spoon to his mouth, tasting the sauce he’s been preparing for the past few hours. He adds more pepper.

The door opens from across the apartment, and all he hears is, “Frank! Tell Matt to stop being mean to me!” You and Matt make your way through the apartment after taking off your shoes and coats, Matt loosening his tie as he follows you into the kitchen. Frank turns when you step into the kitchen, immediately moving over to him and finding your place in the crook of his arm.

“Red bein’ mean to you, honey?” Frank asks as he kisses the top of your head, grinning at Matt as he huffs, standing with his hands on his hips.

“Yeah, it doesn’t matter if it’s handsome if he’s so mean, does it?” You ask.

“No, it doesn’t,” He grins, and you stick your tongue out to Matt playfully, and he mimics you before going over to Frank and pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

“Hi.” The lawyer hums, happy to be back home with his two favorite people.

“Hi.” Frank grins, unsure of how serious you are about Matt being mean to him. “What’s going on, why are you being mean?” Matt raises an eyebrow at you, unhappy with your running to Frank.

“Can’t just run to daddy to fix your problems, pup.” He accuses, and you scoff. His words are playful, but your face is red at the call out.

“You know what, Murdock—”

“Hey! Will someone please tell me what’s going on?” Frank cuts in, and Matt tilts his head in your direction, and you quietly plead for Matt not to tell on you, and--

“They bit me.” Frank sighs at his words.

“I was being affectionate!” You immediately go into defense mode, ducking out of Frank’s arm, trying to casually walk off from the pair towards the fridge, only for Matt to grab your arm, pulling you between the two men, your back against Frank’s chest, face to face with Matt.

“You cannot bite people, pup.” Matt says, and you frown.

“I like biting people—”

“That’s a problem!” Frank’s words attempt to be serious, but they’re coated by a soft laugh as his hands, rough from a long day of working blue collar, rub up and down your arms.

“See? You’re getting Frank to agree with me, do you know how hard that is to do?” Matt hums, and you tilt your head.

“What? You love Frank, it’s actually kind of gross—”

“It is gross isn’t it?” Matt asks teasingly, leaning up to kiss Frank again. You roll your eyes at the fact that you’re being reprimanded by your boyfriends, sandwiched between them, forced to deal with the consequences of your actions. “But I’m being serious, okay?”

“Matty,” Your head leans back against Frank’s chest, “I don’t bite anyone who isn’t you or Frank..”

Alright, let’s level with each other—Frank and Matt are well aware of the fact that you’re neurodivergent. You get overstimulated with loud, crowded situations very easily, you struggle to understand jokes a lot, and you once told them that in middle school, you became so hyper fixated on waffles to the point where you ate them for breakfast and lunch most days, practically begging your mom to let you have it for dinner most nights (She let you have them once a month) and then, after fourteenth months, you stopped. You have not been able to eat a waffle since.

The point is the two men you’re sandwiched between are no strangers to your neurodivergence. They know it’s stimulating in the best way to chew or suck on something, your oral fixation coming back with a vengeance after you tried to repress it for so long. You chew on everything. You chew on the strands of your hoodies, you chew on your sleeves, you chew on ice, gum, you chew on your boyfriends, and you chew on your cheeks to the point where you draw blood, which always gets Matt to scold you, because he can smell the coppery blood from his place across the room, and immediately tells Frank.

Matt Murdock is a little tattletale.

“We’ll figure it out, okay?” Frank hums, resting his chin on your shoulder. “We’ll get you something to chew on—”

“What, like a chew toy? That’s embarrassing,” you groan, and Matt just laughs a bit, leaning in to oppress a kiss to the shoulder that Frank is not leaning on.

“Then stop biting, pup.”

You pause, contemplating the options you have. Fix your biting issue or have Matt and Frank fix it for you. Honestly, you don’t think you have the neurotypical willpower to fix this problem, so you go,

“Okay, fine. You guys have my permission to do what you want to fix it.” You huff. Frank presses a kiss to your cheek while Matt presses a kiss to the other. You feel the smirks against your skin, and you realize what’s happening before you can run, “Wait, no, I swear to god—” Matt picks up your legs with ease as Frank secures his arms around your torso, the pair beginning to carry you to the couch. You groan as they throw you onto the leather couch, landing with a huff. “You’re both awful.”

Matt leans down and bites your shoulder.

“Doesn’t feel good, does it?”

“Jokes on you, Daredevil, I’m into that—” You feel Frank sink his teeth into your arm.

“Wrong answer.” Matt responds for him.

//

Later that night, after dinner, you’re laying against Matt, your legs resting in Frank’s lap. You’re listening to music, and the environment is very relaxed, none of you are particularly on edge. Matt’s fingers are resting in your mouth. You relax like this a lot, just sucking his fingers gently. You’re absentmindedly just sucking on his fingers when you bite down on them—It’s not an accident, and Matt would call you out on it if you lied.

So when you bite down, not entirely consciously, he huffs, “With the biting, baby, come on,” he softly condemns, and remembering your deal, Frank gets up with a sigh, patting your leg before he got up and headed to the kitchen. You’re confused for a second before Matt’s nose twitches with recognition, so he grabs your shoulder and pulls you close, his hand finding your cheeks and squeezing your mouth so that it’s in an ‘o’ shape.

Frank approaches you with a spoon and a jar of peanut butter, and your eyebrows are furrowed in confusion, and the rest of your features are squished by Matt’s hands. Frank scoops a big wad of peanut butter onto the spoon before sticking it in your mouth. You’re confused, as Matt’s hand leaves your face, as you begin munching on the peanut butter.

You take a while to eat the peanut butter, quietly enjoying the taste while enjoying how long you’re keeping yourself busy, since it’s taking a long time to work down the peanut butter due to how sticky it is in the roof of your mouth. When you’re done licking and enjoying the taste of the peanut butter, you look to Frank.

“What was that for?”

“Well, it kept you busy from biting, didn’t it?” He grinned. Your face is flushed as you hand him the spoon.

“Can I have some more?”

Frank chuckles and kisses you quick.

“Sure, honey.”

//

A few nights later, Frank sits on the couch of the apartment, the windows open wide as he listens to the howling wind outside. He’s waiting. Waiting for what, he doesn’t know. His skin is still hot, trying to relax after waking up from a nightmare. It’s always the same. Maria and his children, always dying in his arms. Always sitting at the kitchen table, always with you and Matt, always dead.

The chill that comes in from the window is enough to make him feel alive through as he quietly waits for Matt to get back. He’s in an old tee shirt and sweatpants, flicking his lighter on and off in the quiet as he tries to focus on something that isn’t the idea of the pair of you dead, dead like his wife, dead like his kids, dead dead dead—

“Frank? What are you doing up?” Matt’s soft voice echoes through the apartment, and his head tilts softly. He goes over to the couch, still in his full Daredevil suit. Frank stands up and goes over to him by the window, pulling off his cowl just to look at his face. His hand lands gently on Matt’s face, his thumb rubbing gently on the scars that surround Matt’s eyes.

“Couldn’t sleep.” Matt catches the lie and does not call him out.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Frank’s jaw hardens, and even though Matt cannot see, he avoids his gaze. And in a moment of pure vulnerability, he wraps his arms around Matt, holding him close. Matt’s hand gently runs up and down his spine, trying to comfort him. After a few moments of quiet, he asks, “Do you want me to wake them up?” You were always better at making people feel better than Matt was—Especially Frank.

“Nah.. No point..” He says quietly. After a few more minutes of quiet, he feels another pair of arms wrap around him from behind, your chest against his back. You press soft kisses onto the back of his shoulders.

“Too late.” Matt hums. You’re wearing an old tee shirt of Frank’s, a pair of boxers you bought for yourself and a pair of Matt’s fuzzy socks. You stay there for a little while, sleepily hugging Frank, comforting him. Your eyes grow heavy, and slowly, you fall asleep against him, just for a moment. Then, Frank picks you up, and you wake up again, tired.

“What? What’s going on?” You ask him, and he just smiles down to you.

“We’re gonna go to bed while Red showers, and he’ll be right back.” He tells you, gently placing you on the bed. You yawn as Frank crawls into bed, and you find yourself on top of him, your legs tangled with his. You listen to Matt shower and fall asleep waiting for him to come join you. 

He comes back out with his hair wet, in just his sweatpants. He tucks himself into bed, his arms around Frank, as you sprawl out on top of them, desperately needing to be close to both. Frank is nowhere near tired. Matt knows that, and just gently kisses his hair and the back of his neck.

“You need sleep.”

“You ain’t the boss of me, red.” He grumbles, and you hush them harshly, causing them to both laugh a little bit. Matt slowly falls asleep, trying to stay awake to comfort Frank, but he’s spent his entire night beating the shit out of goons and criminals, so he’s absolutely spent. Frank tilts his head and presses another kiss to his lips. “Go to bed, I’ll be okay.” Matt wants to protest but he just buries his face in the crook of his neck.

Frank’s hands gently trail your torso a bit. His hands are rough and sort of cold, but they just explore your back as he attempts to find sleep. It’s a fruitless venture, but he doesn’t mind. He’s okay with just listening to the pair of you breathing. 

//

“Are you two wearing my flannels?” Frank has about seven flannels, and he has four in the wash and one that has a tear waiting to be fixed, so he’s looking for his spare two when he finds you painting Matt’s nails on the floor of the apartment. You’re painting Matt’s nails a nice shade of dark red, with little hearts in a lighter pink.

That had taken a lot of convincing, really, but once you had agreed not to bite him all day, he reluctantly agrees to let you paint his nails, desperately wanting to be good at something and be focused on one thing for more than twenty minutes.

Periodically, Matt’s foot will tap against your back, reminding you to adjust your posture as you work on your masterpiece. He just got done with a big court case, so he tells you he’ll maintain your artwork for at least a few days. But yeah, you two are most definitely wearing Frank’s last two flannels.

“They’re comfy,” You defend, focusing on your work. Matt’s foot taps against your tailbone to remind you to straighten your back.

Really, Frank doesn’t mind. But he enjoys fucking with the two of you, so he just smirks and sits behind the pair of you. ‘

“But they’re my clothes—”  

“Well, you should have thought about that before you left them out, Frank.” Matt smirks, knowing exactly what he’s up to.

“Besides, look how good Matt looks in your clothes!” You hum, leaning over to nudge him gently, a grin on your face. You finish up Matt’s nails, capping up the nail polish as Matt begins gently blowing in his nails to get them to dry faster. Then, you wipe your nose, thinking it’s running, and when you pull away, you see a swipe of blood on Frank’s warm flannel. Oh, fuck.

With his slightly wet nails, Matt’s movements are not nearly as quick as he would have liked as he smells the blood before the gushing really starts, ripping off a paper towel and quickly holding it under your nose, and you take it from him to hold it there as he stands up, going to get something softer like a tissue or toilet paper to pack your nose—

You hold the paper towel to your nose, and guilt already starts to eat at you, as hot tears fill your eyes and then you feel silly because you think Frank might think you’re overreacting, but you just find his hands on your shoulders as he says,

“Hey, hey, why are we crying?” And you feel even sillier.

“I ruined your flannel.”

Frank had been covered in blood more times than he could count, as has Matt—their bodies are riddled with scars, head to toe, bullet and stab wounds echoing over the rough skin of both men, mostly faded now, but Frank is no stranger to blood—It doesn’t even bother him anymore, and Matt can’t see anyways, so what does he care about the sight of blood?

But you, who cannot kill the bugs that find their ways into your apartment, who gasps and covers their mouth when you accidentally curse in church (Matt always laughs, the dick), who orders the same lunch every day and has been unable to drink anything that wasn’t ice water, are horrified at a swipe of blood on a stolen flannel.

“Oh, no, honey, you didn’t ruin anything,” He shakes his head, and gently tugs at the flannel that hangs on your arms, “Come on, let me get this off,” The Punisher’s voice is gentle, a type of gentle reserved just for you, one that the countless skeletons in his closet, all with a bullet in their skulls, do not know and could not possibly perceive. You allow him to slip the flannel off, as Matt comes back with a rolled-up tissue, before sitting in front of you, kneeling as if he’s at mass—

“Lean your head forward for me,” he asks, his hand on the side of your head, and you do, taking the paper towel away, just for Matt to gently push that bundled up piece of tissue into your nose, to get it to stop bleeding.

Your boys, they are experts at getting things to stop bleeding.

At least Matt’s nails look really nice.

Frank throws the flannel in the wash, along with the rest of your laundry, and you find yourself sandwiched between them, the perfect amount of squeezing happening on either side of you, the same affect a weighted blanket would have on you. Your hot tears roll still, quietly betraying you, as the pads of Frank’s rough fingers come up to wipe them away, and Matt’s thumb finds it’s place sitting between your lips.

You sit like this for a while—Frank pressed up against you, Matt in his flannel and you, gushing blood from your nose, packed tight with tissues, and Matt’s thumb as your favorite stim toy.

//

A few days later, you’re just decompressing from work—Your bones ache, and you’re waiting for Matt to get home, wanting to satisfy that oral fixation, as if it’s the worst craving you’ve ever had. Sensing your restlessness, Frank puts a small package in front of you. You raise your eyebrow, and look at him, skeptical.

“Is it a bomb?” He scoffs and chuckles a bit.

“Open the damn package.” His voice is laced with the smirk that sits on his face, not mad, not upset, not at all judging. Your fingers peel back the packaging, and when you’re done unwrapping, you’re left with a soft necklace, and a blue, rubber moon. You look to him curiously. “It’s uh,” he leans down so his forearms are keeping him up against the counter. “You chew on it. You’re not gonna stop bitin’ or sucking on stuff, so, you might as well bite something that isn’t human.” He tells you.

In truth, Frank had spent all damn day scrolling on your laptop, looking for the perfect fix to your problem, and grew frustrated when he realized that all the stim toys were marketed towards young boys who had the privilege of getting a diagnosis young (living with and loving two people with disabilities, as well as having horrible PTSD, has radicalized Frank Castle).

You grin when you hear his explanation, getting up and going to him, resting your hands on his shoulders before leaning up and kissing him softly.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too, Honey.”

From across the apartment, you hear the door open, and a voice calls out,

“Are you guys cheating on me? You know I can hear you across the apartment, right?” Matt’s voice calls out, and you laugh, as Frank just smiles.

“Yes, I can, Red,” He says back, before leaning in to kiss you again.

//

Your eyes are heavy with sleep as you spot Matt, laying across the couch, looking like a god damn renaissance painting. He’s so hot. You find yourself walking over to him, dropping your new necklace on the coffee table, as you climb on top of him,  finding yourself literally acting like a blanket, burying your face in his neck as his hand comes up to, like usual, let you gently suck on his fingers.

Frank rolls his eyes when he sees the pair of you cuddling, and just shakes his head when he sees the stim toy abandoned on the table. He takes out his phone and takes a picture of the pair of you, Matt just in his briefs, and you in your entire pajama ensemble.

The apartment is full of a gentle silence, as Frank watches the pair of you sleep, quietly thankful that he kept living.