#it’s kinda scary when you go into it scared and then come out bleeding

[try-set-me-on-fire]

don’t be alarmed, this is my loudest roar

1465 words // rated g

8x15-16 spec, major character death

Dad had warned him, in the car. He already knew Bobby is dead, that’s why they left Texas so fast instead of waiting for spring break or maybe the end of the school year like they were starting to talk about. Chris was in the room when the phone call had come in and Eddie’s face had gone all- wide. It’s weird to think about. Bobby, Captain Nash. It’s like a principal or a librarian dying. Not so much a person in Chris’ mind but an architectural feature, a fundamental truth of the way the world is. He’ll visit dad at work and Bobby will give him a grilled cheese with grapes on the side and show him the fire trucks again even though he’s seen them a million times already. And now he won’t, because he’s not alive, because principals and librarians are real people who breathe and bleed and can stop doing those things. It’s weird.

So that’s not what Dad warned him about. It’s after their last stop for gas, where Chris tried to stretch out the ache of sitting in a car for so long and Dad ran off out of hearing again, like he did at every other gas stop, phone pressed to his ear. They’re back in the car and on the highway again and Eddie’s knuckles are tight against the steering wheel and he clears his throat.

“Mijo,” he says. “Chris.” He glances over at the passenger seat, then keeps his eyes on the road. “When we get there- when we get home Buck is gonna be there.” Chris knows that, knows Buck moved in. He dreams- daydreams, not quite asleep enough for it to be anything other than wishful thinking, about him and Buck and Dad all in one house forever, and always knowing where both of them are and that they’re safe. He can almost hear snoring down the hall if he closes his eyes hard enough. “And… I just want to tell you, he-” Eddie’s knuckles creak on the wheel. “Him and Bobby were really close, you know? He… Bobby was kind of like his dad. So- so he’s really upset right now, and I just want to tell you that before we get there because- because we’re going to have to be gentle with him, okay?” Chris nods, Eddie nods. “And because I know… it can be kinda scary, when someone you- you care about is hurting.” Chris nods again, like he doesn’t know that, like his stomach hasn’t wobbled anytime Eddie’s voice has in this conversation. “I don’t want you to be scared. We’re going to be okay. Buck will be okay.” Eddie lets go of the steering wheel for a minute, stretches his fingers out, grabs back on again. “We’re gonna take care of him.” That seems obviously true, so Chris doesn’t nod a third time.

So, here they are now, at the house. Still labelled home in Chris’ mind, on one of those little pieces of tape with the raised up letters like Mrs. Hanrahan had all over everything in third grade, like they’d somehow forget what a pencil is and where to put it away. The lawn is mowed and the door is open and it looks so much the same that Chris feels like crying a little but doesn’t. Eddie gets out of the car first, and doesn’t bother with bags or anything because out of the house-

Buck. Chris imagines the shelf he lives on in his mind, stored close to home and Dad. He thinks he’d need more than one little strip of tape for him. Friend and safe and firefighter and family and- he doesn’t know. He thinks he hasn’t learned the words yet to describe the kind of hurting he feels when he thinks about Buck. Not a bad hurting. Kind of like loneliness, like wanting somebody there, but it happens even when Buck is there. Chris doesn’t know. Dad is on the porch now and he’s holding Buck, different than a hug, in some way Chris also doesn’t know how to describe. Sometimes it feels like Chris doesn’t know anything at all. He sits in the car and wishes he could drive so he could get his knuckles all tight on the wheel. He grabs the door handle and thinks it’s not really the same and then he opens the door, gets out of the car.

Buck meets him halfway down the path, spilling out of Dad’s arms as soon as he sees movement, rushing to meet him. Chris barely gets to look at him — red eyes, too much stubble, his hair is so curly now — before he’s being wrapped up in big arms, clutched against a warm body. “Chris,” Buck says- Buck says. His voice, not over a phone. Chris squeezes his eyes shut tight and shakes his arms out of his crutches so he can hug back. “Chris, Chris-” An earthquake? No- no, just Buck. “God- God, kid, I missed you- I missed you so much.” One of Buck’s arm’s remains locked around him and the other roams, hand clutching his shoulder and then cradling his head, smoothing over his back. And he’s- he’s crying. Big ugly crying. Chris can’t see it but he can hear it and feel it, above and around him. “I’m sorry, I’m s-sorry.” For what? Chris shakes his head. It’s okay. He’s sort of frightened but Eddie had warned him so it’s okay. “Sorry- you’re here, you’re here- oh- oh God-” Chris feels Buck’s face press into the top of his head. He’s still tall enough to do that easily, despite all Dad’s teasing about how big Chris has grown. Dad is here too, Chris vaguely hears him say something close by, but mostly what he hears is Buck sobbing. Chris holds on as tight as he can. He is scared. He’s scared, despite the warning, because- Buck is crying, Buck’s not okay, and there have been so many- all those other times when the world ended Buck was- Chris has seen him cry before but not like this, and it makes him feel sick a little. And- guilty a little, bad a little, because- he knows Mom missed him when she left. He’s pretty sure. He knows Dad missed him when they were apart. He’s pretty sure. He’s very sure, Dad has told him it’s true, and there’s a kind of quiet something-else mixed in with his happiness when they’re together now. Relief? Loneliness for someone next to you? But. Buck shakes and cries and it’s loud and frightening and it’s proof.

“I missed you,” Chris says. He’s not even sure anyone hears him, all muffled into Buck’s sweatshirt. “I missed you, too.”

“Let’s get inside,” Eddie is saying, and his hand is on Chris’ shoulder, and that is so familiar-unchanged makes him want to cry, too. “Alright, it’s okay, lets get inside.”

Buck gasps a few times above him, pulling in air like he’s going to jump in a pool- jump into water, after Chris. Maybe Chris is crying already. It’s hard to tell. And then Buck pulls back just a little, straightens up, and there he is looking down at him. He looks rough and wrecked and so real Chris sort of realizes he’s not dreaming, which he already knew but- understands, now. It’s real, and Bobby is dead, and they’re not in Texas, and he wishes he never left because the house is the same but everything feels different now, and Buck is frowning now, a different kind of frown, careful and worried and his hand is on Chris face, calloused thumb very soft brushing across his cheek. “Oh, Chris, hey. Hey, you’re okay.”

“I love you,” Chris says, and the label on the shelf should really just say Buck, because doesn’t that mean all of the rest of it? What did Buck label Bobby, on his shelves? “I want to go home- I want to come home, I want to come home, I’m sorry, I want to come home.”

“We’re here,” Eddie says, kissing Chris’ head so close to where Buck’s fingers rest. “It’s okay-” his voice cracks but Dad and Buck were always a team and one will pick up a thought where the other dropped it.

“It’s okay, Chris,” Buck says, and his voice is still wet and raspy, but- they’ll all be in one house and maybe Chris isn’t the only one who needs that to be true. Maybe it’s okay to want that to be true. “Let’s get inside. Let’s-” he looks at Eddie, almost a question that seems to be answered before he even asks it. Chris can feel him breathing, his lungs expanding and collapsing and expanding again, and again. Quietly, he says “Let’s go home.”

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

early chaggie days being a bit unsettling, but still pretty sweet

Vaggie: “Hey Charlie? I’m back.”

Charlie: “VAGGIE OHMYGOSH THERE YOU ARE!!!! I was worried sick! What were you doing wandering hell alone?? You’re still hurt! And new here!!”

Vaggie: “I’m fine, it’s not like I’m bleeding-”    

Charlie: “I was WORRIED! It’s been hours- your note just said ‘gone out’ it didn’t say if you’d be back!”

Vaggie: “Why would anyone leave you a note like that if they weren’t coming back?”

Charlie: “I DON’T KNOW THE NOTE DIDN’T SAY THAT EITHER!!!!”

Vaggie: “Right, sorry. I’ll make sure the next one does. I’m sorry.”

Charlie: “That’s! Not-!”

Vaggie: “I’m sorry Charlie.”

Charlie: “No no you don’t have to be sorry- going out whenever you want is fine! Dangerous, when you’ve just lost and EYE and a LOT OF BLOOD and your back is still FUCKED UP and you have a pretty face covered in bandages that I couldn’t change this morning because you left- which is fine, that’s fine it’s FINE-”

Vaggie: “You really don’t have to keep-”

Charlie: “-it’s just we NEED to get you a phone! No more ‘don’t wanna be trouble’ bullshit- this is serious! What if you’d needed help? How fuck was I supposed to even find you!?”

Vaggie: “Follow the trail of screaming people and blood?”

Charlie: “Wha- what blood?”

Vaggie: “Shit.”

Charlie: “Your blood?? Did your back- But it’s been burned shut since day one! Did someone-”

Vaggie: “Charlie-”

Charlie: “WHO-”

Vaggie: “No one did anything, okay? Look, no blood. See?”

Charlie: “….then why did you say that?”

Vaggie: “I might’ve… kinda sorta stabbed a few people who got too close. Uh. Nothing fatal. But there was some blood and screaming…”

Charlie: “They SCARED you.”

Vaggie: “No they really didn’t, it was just instinct.”

Charlie: “And this is hell, Vaggie- at least half of them were at least TRYING to scare you!”

Vaggie: “Well it worked. It was fucking scary how close I came to killing a few of them without even noticing.”

Charlie: “Vaggie…”

Vaggie: “I won’t go out again. I got what I needed, and I didn’t know you’d worry.”

Charlie: “Of course I worried…”

Vaggie: “You don’t have to. I’m just this month’s random dumbass sinner picked out of the rest of the trash and crashing on your couch, making you stress over dumb stuff. I’ll get out of your hair soon as the bandages come off.”

Charlie: “Don’t.”

Vaggie: “?”

Charlie: “Don’t, talk like that, about yourself. Please?”

Vaggie: “Like what?”

Charlie: “Like THAT.”

Vaggie: “I don’t even get what ‘that’ means. I only said what happened.”

Charlie: “I….. never mind.”

Vaggie: “Alright…”

Charlie: “…..”

Charlie: “….what did you go out for anyway?”

Vaggie: “Spear.”

Charlie: “Spear? Like, spearmint gum or- OH!!”

Vaggie: “Just uh, just a spear.”

Charlie: “But isn’t that an Exorcist’s!? Vaggie- be carful! That’s one of the ONLY things that can-”

Vaggie: “-kill a sinner permanently, yeah, I know. Or gouge out their eye. Permanently.”

Charlie: “Oh.”

Vaggie: “I’ve seen them in action, I mean.”

Charlie: “And it doesn’t upset you?”

Vaggie: “It’s, complicated. Mainly it’s just, it’s a little reassuring to hold onto, you know?”

Charlie: “My hand is- I mean, sure, yes. That makes sense. I think.”

Vaggie: “…you can lock it up somewhere if you want, while I’m here. I don’t mind. This is your home-”

Charlie: “And yours. As long as you need it.”

Vaggie: “That’s, nice but-”

Charlie: “And while you’re here you should feel safe, and if the spear helps you feel safe around me, then okay. Good. You um, you didn’t sell anything super important to get it, right?”

Vaggie: “No, I found it behind a dumpster-”

Charlie: “Wow those are really pulling through on the amazing finds lately!”

Vaggie: “Charlie- huh?”

Charlie: “Good find! At the dumpster!”

Vaggie: “Charlie, it’s not for you. The spear. I didn’t get the spear because of you.”

Charlie: “I mean hell princess and stuff, first hellborn monster in all creation- totally understandable!”

Vaggie: “If you’re a monster then creation needs more of them.”

Charlie: “The carpet is still smoldering from me going all demon flames at you five minutes ago.”

Vaggie: (chuckling) “Yeah, because you were worried.”

Charlie: “Still. Scary?”

Vaggie: “Adorable.”

Charlie: “….really?”

Vaggie: “You’re the sweetest person I’ve ever met, because you care, and you get angry when the rest of the world doesn’t care as much as you do. It’s really.” (pause) “It’s new. It’s really new, and I’m glad I got to see it.”

Charlie: “If you’re sure…”

Vaggie: “Yep. The horns and tail are cute, too.”

Charlie: “The- aww SHOOT! They’re still out? This whole time??”

Vaggie: “You didn’t notice grabbing my wrist with your tail?”

Charlie: “I WHAT??? IM SORRY OH FUCK OH SHIT IT- IT HAS A MIND OF IT’S OWN I SWEAR- FUCK WHY WON’t IT LET GO-”

Vaggie: “It’s fine. If it wants to cling then let it. I’d like to sit down though, so.”

Charlie: “Right! Sorry!”

Vaggie: “Charlie it’s fine.” (sigh) “Feels like we’ve used that word too much today.”

Charlie: “Ugh you’re right, sorry…”

Vaggie: “And that one too. Stop.”

Charlie: “Fine.”

Vaggie: “….”

Charlie: “….sorry?”

Vaggie: “….”

Vaggie: “…you’re lucky you’re cute.”

Charlie: “And YOU’RE lucky you’re tiny and fit on the couch. There’s an actual bed here! In case you forgot since the last time I told you! Now, sit kitchen?”

Vaggie: “Actually I was thinking sit couch and I’m not taking your bed.”

Charlie: “Did you remember to eat anything while out poking rude hell people with your new spear?”

Vaggie: “S- sure I, uh, I did. Do that.”

Charlie: “Uh-huh.”

Vaggie: “Yes.”

Charlie: “Mmhmm.”

Vaggie: “…I did do it.”

Charlie: “Bzzt, lies. To the snackies we go!”

Vaggie: “But-”

Charlie: “And I’m getting you in that bed eventually. It’s gonna happen. Couches can’t be good for your back, even when you’re so small! Especially when you’re hurt!”

Vaggie: “Charlie, if I was in your bed you’d never get any SLEEP.”

Charlie: “Why not? I like being around you!”

Vaggie: “I move around too much at night.”

Charlie: “Bad dreams?”

Vaggie: “…sure.”

Charlie: “Well maybe not being alone when you wake up would help? That’s what Razzle and Dazzle do for me sometimes- right guys?”

Razzle: “Baa!”

Dazzle: “Mreh.”

Vaggie: “Hi fellas… What… what happened to your kitchen.”

Charlie: “I asked them to get snacks ready!”

Vaggie: “It’s a warzone.”

Charlie: “It’s snack time?”

Vaggie: “There’s enough doughnuts here to feed a whole battalion after a battle.”

Charlie: “Well since you weren’t here to ASK I couldn’t TELL them what KIND of doughnut would be your FAVORITE.”

Razzle & Dazzle: “Ree!”

Charlie: “So we had to make all the kinds. But only this one time, okay guys?”

Razzle & Dazzle: “Grrr….”

Vaggie: (smiles) “Thought you said you weren’t even sure I’d be back.”

Charlie: “I wasn’t. You’re the first sinner who’s ever crashed on my couch, so I just, hoped.”

Vaggie: “…..”

Vaggie: “Thanks. For the hope.”

Charlie: “You’re welcome. Really, literally, you’re welcome. Couch or wherever.”

Vaggie: “……or buried under a mountain of pastries?”

Charlie: “Finding your favorite kind is IMPORTANT okay!”

Vaggie: “There’s dough splatters on the ceiling.”

Charlie: “You’re worth a few dough splatters and an artfully singed carpet. You’d also be worth some lost sleep. Now! Staring with the basic, a classic plain glaze….” (busily dives into doughnut infogump)

Vaggie: “….”

Dazzle: “Rrr?” (hands her a tissue)

Vaggie: “...huh? Oh.” (takes tissue) “Thanks….” (dabs at her eye while Charlie isn’t looking)

[missmarveledsblog]

Once in a lifetime kinda deal ( Mafia!Bucky Barnes x Reader)

part three: Thunder and wedding dresses

summary :

The first night would be awkward if it wasn't for the fact she was shit scared of thunder

warning:

goofy , fluffy , angst , slight ptsd , parental death , steve is big brother goals , bucky is just goals , fast burn , arranged marriage (but not ) mutual pining , age gap

previous part

She felt some what  awkward  sitting watching TV in one of his shirts and pair of sweats that swallowed  her whole as he sat end of same sofa like two teenagers afraid  they would get caught . Which didn't last long when the first clash of thunder hit make her yelp and grip the pillow . One fear she had  was thunder and yet she was failing to conceal said fear . 

“ doll you ok” he looked, seeing her body shake and finger nails dig into the plush of his sofa. 

“ yeah scary part” she nodded at tv.

 “ the Simpsons?” he asked . But before he could ask anymore her phone rang  cutting him off from further question .

 “ hey stevie , no it's ok , you will not “ she began to sass. “Idiot go to bed” she said before hanging up . 

“ sorry could I get a drink?” She asked. 

“ yeah doll this is gonna be your home so don't need to ask” he nodded waiting til she left the room before he answered his phone . “ hey stevie” he mocked her voice. 

“ funny look I didn't think my plan through is she ok? He asked quickly. 

“ skittish why punk” . 

“ shit look she terrified  of thunder , don't laugh asshole , you know she lost her mom right?” He could hear the genuine worry from his best friend. 

“ yeah she never said how I'm guessing thunder was involved” . 

“ shit you do have a brain , look they were coming home through storm main reason tony wants her there but the car wasn't found for a couple of hours which meant she was stuck  with her mom and”.

 “ thunder” he sighed only for clash and then a crash what sounded like glass coming from his kitchen.  

“ look, stay home, I can help” he said before rushing off to the kitchen seeing the glass all over floor slight trail of blood leading to under his table. He wasn't aware he even had a heart til it broke at sight of her hand covering her ears one hand  bleeding.  

“ oh doll “ he crouched.

 “save whatever joke you have for another time ok I know it's childish but this different” she went to explain.

 “Come here” he held his hand out as she unsurely took him only flinching at the next crash  then another sending her flying into his chest. 

“ I got you doll, it's ok I got you come on '' he scooped her up in his arms carrying her past the sitting room  and straight up the stairs passing the guest room and straight to his room.  each crack of thunder she gripped tighter even though it hurt her hand but nothing hurt more than the flashback every time. how she was back in the car , her mom gone , sound of rain hitting the ground heavy and hard . How her little voice went hoarse from crying and screaming for help and no one came. She felt like that little girl who thought no one was coming to save only for a young steve rogers to pull her from the wreck holding her close to his chest as she sobbed not letting go when paramedic tried to check her over or when she heard her dad voice trying to get to her fighting with probably cops . That night was probably the worst night of her life but cemented the bond  between the two.  Every Time since  the thunder would start and no matter what Steve would always be there to comfort her once he couldn't and she locked herself in the bathroom only for him to find her the next morning sleeping on the floor.  Sounds of thunder drowned out when she looked up seeing bucky turning music on to drown it out still holding her in his arms and he maneuvered easily pulling out the first aid kit .  He picked the glass out of her palm , cleaning and wrapping it all while he reassured her it was OK he had here . She didn't know how or why but it worked for the first time .  He lay them down in his bed , music drowning out , curtains pulled everything to block the storm out . The feeling of his own palm rubbing up and down her back soothed every muscle in her body , she felt herself relax , her eyes heavy  but before she completely  dozed off she felt his lips on his forehead before drifting off.

He could hear the front door open knowing who it was instinctively well not instinctively since he told him he was coming.  But the relief on steve's face when he see her soundly sleeping the thunder and lightning  passed . 

“ she’s ok i mean she hurt her hand but she ok” bucky said not daring to move the big bad gangster reduced to a teddy bear .  

 “  she calmed down and  let you help i mean that’s really something pal” he smiled . 

“ she was so scared i mean she was almost in a whole other place” he didn’t even realize his own hold on  her became tighter only til she began to stir. 

“ is it over” she asked head lifting off his chest   tired eyes looking into his if steve was to pinpoint the moment of james buchanan barnes falling love that was the very moment.  He almost didn’t want to say anything leave them be eyes locked  that was till she sensed the other person in the room. 

“ Stevie” she smiled brightly climbing over bucky making him let out an oof from her  leg hitting his groin. 

“ Hey princess, I heard Bucky did good” he hugged her back . 

“ he did  maybe just as good as you i would say better but boy that ego” she teased only to yelp when a strong pair of hands gripped her waist pulling her back onto the bed  . the big bad scary man that put fear into the people of new york and probably the majority of the united states  tickling his soon to be wife like a child . 

“ stoppp” she giggled  before jumping off the bed completely.  “ you child” she ran into  the bathroom as he and steve laugh.

 “ still business?” steve asked . “ hey doll   me and steve are getting drink if you need us” he began pushing the blonde out of the room .

  “ ok spill” steves arms crossed as the two stood in the kitchen . 

“ I may have known her longer well known of her” he scratched the back of his neck. 

“ you followed her , since the  meeting with stark was a month ago .. he told me anyways so how long did you follow her” . 

“ four weeks ,  i wanted to make sure she was not some sort of monster i mean JJ then more and more i seen her was well  i kinda liked it , she was at a party daycare done they hired the fairies and i stayed behind and  to see her again , the more i saw well more i like and now its worse because i’m aware it fucked” he explained.

 “ oh very fucked , bit perverted too buckaroo” she walked into the room .

 “ you know it bad manners to listen to conversation” he spat out quickly.

 “ yeah so is stalking” she laughed as steve watched god the two were as bad as each other. 

“ not so innocent princess” steve said .

 “ what you mean” she sat on counter . “ well i remember a certain time when becca came and bucky dropped her off … what was it i’m so gonna marry that guy he’s prince charming” steve mused.

 “ i was 11” she rolled her eyes . 

“ that didn’t help me at all steve” bucky winced. 

 “ sorry joe goldberg” steve snicker and she broke out  laughing.

 “ YOU the series” she said seeing his head tilt. 

“ oh fuck you both” he huffed getting her a drink . 

“ hey on serious note can you drop me to studio tomorrow” she asked.

 “ studio?” he asked.

 “ dance studio  of course kiddo we can go” steve nodded. 

“ don’t call her kiddo man” .

 “ practically a child bride here” she teased. “  i hate you both” he huffed as the two laughed . 

Once steve knew she was ok and well the two had their fun in making fun of bucky he left . she didn’t even bother going to the guest room instead she went straight to his and he could contain the smile on his face .

 “ no funny business i like your bed” she lied  more she like cuddling into the man that was in said bed . 

 “ promise” he held his hand up . 

“ can i steal a different shirt please” she asked seeing the blood all over her.  

“ course here” he smiled throwing her one of henleys what he didn’t expect was her to take the blood soaked T-shirt off in front of him  or his own eyes looking at the ceiling when he felt her climb over her probably was his worse mistake .

 “ do you need sweats too” he asked trying to think of anything other then how heavenly her ass looks in the panties. 

“ nope i’m good thank you” she lay on her side pulling the covers hiding the smile she had . 

“ goodnight you minx” he chuckled. 

“ night stalker” she sang . 

“ not going to live that down am i?” he asked. “ might include it in my vows” she teased.

  “ I want a divorce” he groaned yet his face said something else throwing his arms around her waist and pulling her to his chest .  “ i get steve , you can have sam” she yawned.  That night was first night he felt peace , first time his dreams weren’t plagued of the skeletons of his past. That was the first sleep in decades that bucky had a dream instead of a nightmare.

The next morning he awoke only to find his arms empty as well as the bed. Another thing he noticed was his dresser opening the one that contained his boxer shorts .  slightly disappointed he dragged himself from the bed only to see the time was ten am never in the last five years even has he sleep past seven am . growls and groans as he walked into the kitchen only to see books spread across the table one leg propped under her as she sat reading over her  well he guessed college work while she talked to his personal chef jack .

 “ hello mr barnes” he nodded, completely stiffening up at sight of his boss .

 “ Morning , morning doll” he smiled brightly.  Morning bucket, sorry I didn't wake you, it looked like you needed the extra sleep” she smiled as Jack handed her a cup of coffee, something the chef always told his boss he was too busy to do. 

“Mrs barnes sorry i mean Y/N was telling me about her studies in college , she is a smart lady sir” jack called over his shoulder. 

“ not barnes yet but might as well get used to that huh” she winked . 

“ she smart ass more like it what you studying doll” he asked leaning over her shoulder his mouth so close to her ear , hot breath on her neck grinning at how her breath hitched . 

“ well fellow smart ass i’m studying for the test in two weeks it’s like a mock exam  but i need to ace that or i’ve no hope for the big one at end of the year  and then i’m going to study because i’ve also my bar exam soon might keep your ass out of jail” she winked as jack snorted. 

“ well i know both so let me help” he pulled the cheer over beside her . true to his word both subjects the man did know what he was talking about it wasn’t til the babbles cut into the study session . Her attention now on the man as he held his well now son , cooing and smiling at the baby made her heart do a tumble and she could only feel the real raw feelings that bloomed so shortly that it almost scared her shitless.

 “ hey pretty girl “ sam called snapping her out of her dreamy staring .

 “ hey sammy” she smiled.

 “ hows the hand steve told me” she could see his worried expression . 

 this time bucky watched as she talked to the man seeing his bestfriends care for the woman was more than a job  , they truly whole hearted cared for her  and he couldn’t blame them  at all . 

“ lets have breakfast then head to your dad’s” bucky called. 

“ oh great i’m starving” sam rubbed his hands together before he started moving her books only for her to slap the spoon off his hand the noise of the metal hitting the knuckle sent the babbling JJ Into a fit of giggles making her do it again.

“ ouch you little shit” sam yelp pulling his hand away . 

“ But it makes him so happy,” she pouted. 

“ Yeah me too” bucky smirked . 

“ You both are mean,” the man huffed. 

“ Y/N is a sweetheart mr wilson” Jack defended . 

“ thanks jack” she batted her lashes.

 “ she got them all wrapped already “ bucky rolled his eyes. 

“ it’s cause i’m cute” she hummed popping a blueberry into her mouth .

 “ pepper has your bag ready so when you wanna head studio” sam chuckled . 

“ she’s a gem , i’m going to miss her” she sighed. “ she moving not dying” bucky chuckled. 

“ yeah away from me” she glared.

 “ god you two are way too perfect” sam shook his head.

 “ i’m better” they both said at same time.

 “ Y/N IS” Sam and jack said at same time . 

“ hey i pay you and your suppose to be my best friend” bucky looked at the men. 

Pulling up to her house was nice seeing Pepper collecting a package off of the porch. What she didn’t expect was Wanda standing beside her two talking away as she hopped out of the car.

“ Hey where are your clothes?” Pepper asked, seeing her still in Bucky's henley and boxers .

“ need to be washed and get your head out of the gutter” she looked at wanda’s reaction.

“ How's your hand princess?” Pepper looked at the bandage.

“ It hurts… but why are you here?” she asked her best friend .

“ Well your wedding is in four days, we need a dress,” Wanda smiled.

“ Four days wait huh?” she asked .

“ oh yeah i forgot to tell you that one” bucky rubbed back of his neck .

“ oh shit one minute” she scampered up the steps almost falling but she didn’t stop not even when she nearly crashed into her dad.

“ nice to see you too” he rolled his eyes.

“ we got a few things to do barnes so come on” he walked to the suv .

“ we got her it’s ok bye now” wanda waved as he reluctantly got into the car .

“ studio later” he smiled at the text.

“ how was she last night?” Tony asked, pretending to be looking at his phone.

“ scared but i sorted it” bucky nodded still bit annoyed which was his own fault pushing the wedding forward. 

“ well we got to meet the judge this morning for the courthouse part , pepper sorted venue for after party , you need a suit and she getting her dress , tomorrow i’ll do talk in her school  at lunch bakery for cake tasting then afternoon catering , we will be sticking around for three months then i’ll retire steve and me will work with you over that time and well what did i miss” tony listed it off.

“ why me?” he asked. 

“ because you out of this shit show of a life are probably only one gets shit done , keeps his word  and  steve and nat  vouched about you when i asked about you” he answered honestly.  

“ Why are you leaving?” .

“  i’ve met the one i would give it up for i wish i could take them with me ,  honestly but y/n in middle of nowhere be like shining  after couple of days” he shook his head. 

“ yeah she likes college even i can see that woman will rule the world” bucky shook his head.

“ oh most definitely i’ve no doubt i am glad she is not doing that fairy dress up job” tony chuckled.

“ i mean, I'm surprised you let her work, '' Bucky said .

“ oh you’ll learn she’s headstrong , once she sets her mind to something well she keeps to it , its the russian in her'' bucky smiled at his words ,   wondering what that would entail.

  “ she already  has many , many friends with connections , she managed to get me some of those connections so she gives you advice, take it or even think it over as much as  i hate to say it , she is good at this” tony put his phone down.

“ connections?” Bucky's brow arched.

“They are invited to the after party. It will be nice for her to do the introduction and well I wanna see your reaction,” Tony smugly grinned.

“ ok not ominous , maximoff  that name sounds familiar by the way” he said.

“ her brother was a runner, got shot , hydra and a whole ass mess  before their mom went mad. I said i’d look after the girl who even walked her down the aisle last year. They call him vision, great hacker, one connection for you,” he winked .

“ professor looking guy is a hacker” bucky didn’t mean to sound so surprised but he as he said looked like a professor.

“ best there is so it’s good to have him on your side anyways come on steve , peter and JJ  and well rest of the guys will meet us  for suit fittings which is on me and so is the whole thing since well your doing me major solid , also peters  best friend ned who may be devastated giving his love for our princess” tony chuckled.

“  Who else is going to give me a hard time?” Bucky looked pointedly at the man .

“ a lot of people but it just shows how amazing my child is” the billionaire shrugged.

“ great just great let's do this'' he sighed.

“ finally we’ve been waiting for ever” Yelena huffed.

“ ignore her we’ve been here five minutes' ' nat rolled her eyes.

“ can’t believe you're getting married,” Maria Hill smiled softly.

“ yeah me either but hey let's get a dress” she snorted .

“ can we get food after”yelena called as they walked into the store

. “  well i’m going to the studio after” she ignored their sad looks.

“ hey wait i’m here sorry your stupid brother told me wrong store” the girl painted as the staff looked at her strangely.

“ hey MJ thanks for coming , ok maid of honor wanda  and rest bridesmaids and  mothers of the bride” she called over to the staff .

“ why  they crying it’s obvious” Yelena rolled her eyes at nat and pepper.

“ she just needs the color of the dresses so she can head to the guys so they can't make it a suit so a swatch would be great” she add as Yelena cheered.

“ after i see you in the dress of course” the blonde winked.

“ speaking off let's see your choices please” pepper called blowing her nose and wiping her eyes.

“ would you ladies  like some refreshment? We have the finest champagne” .

“ non alcoholic please” wanda and pepper called.

“  Wait why you are not drinking” she turned to her best friend.

“ maybe i have a reason too and thank god this wedding is coming soon,” Wanda winked.

“ oh my god how long” she almost knocked her down.

“  well i mean a few week but twins i could show quicker” .

“ oh my fucking god” she screamed making some of the sale reps jump .

“ hey have you got food here … what” yelena looked at them .

“ i’ll get uber eats” nat rolled her eyes . “ miss stark ,   have you a theme in mind” the woman asked.

“ fairytale” the woman collectively said .

  “ what they said” she blushed.

“ so MJ peter tells us you got into MIT too are you excited” pepper asked trying to keep her emotions in line . 

“ i mean i am  but i’m nervous as hell” the young girl stood awkwardly.

“ it not so scary after a while i mean we almost crapped ourselves the first day , i think wanda puked” y/n snorted looking through the options.

“ i had bad shellfish totally unrelated” .

“ lena has a date” nat called making her niece freeze and turn to  her aunt

“spill it “ she pointed to her aunt.

“ kate bishop its nothing , shut up” she rolled her eyes.

“ as in clint’s  kate bishop” maria smirk.

“ she's funny and cute “ she walked away from them as they all went “oohhh” .

“ what are you school kids” she stuck her tongue out.

“ this  one” she said taking the dress and as they sat  waiting . it took five minutes of them trying to catch a peak until she walked out . the room when quiet a slight nervous manner she stood waiting for them to say something but the all stop still even yelena eyes watered.

“ this is it right?” she stood unsurely.

“ oh my god dude you look like a princess” mj mouth dropped open .

“ this  , this is the one oh my baby” pepper cried . 

“ you look .. beautiful” nat wiped her eyes.

“ our baby” yelena smushed her cheeks.

“  well that was easy” she cooed looking admiring herself in the mirror .

“ lingerie options” the sale rep held them up making her face beet red.

The judge well obviously all it took was cash for him to agree to the union not that he was surprised wasn't a secret stark had few higher ups in his pocket at any giving moment main reason man was never convicted. But the words before in the car had him more curious  this woman he was marrying being some crime genius  yet she looked like she wouldn’t jay walk but in the wise words “ it’s always the one you least suspect.” . why was this so surprising she was raise in this life her father  one of the biggest arms dealer in the world as well as business man as they would say , an aunt of one of the most stealthiest assassins part of notorious group of women . Was it really surprising news .  She looked like butter wouldn't melt and yet  the fire in her usually doe eyed expression told another story. He was falling hard and it was the scariest thing he experienced. He saw it all. Hell  he's been tortured and shot yet feelings for his arranged soon to be wife .

“ pepper said she picked a dress apparently she looks out of this world , Yelena meeting us at the tailors too” tony mused.

“ yeah I don't think I could of picture Yelena Belova in a dress maybe tactical gear if she could” bucky laughed.

“ word on street is Rumlows not happy , thinks it was a fix I mean not wrong but still” tony said tapping away on his phone .

“ Brock Rumlow is a dangerous bastard and that's coming from me , what were you thinking having him involved”.

“ I was thinking making it look convincing  , so they would think this whole thing wasn’t a plan on getting you and my daughter together look my bad on that but hydra know not to bother we out weigh them” tony explained but tony didn’t know Brock Rumlow like Bucky did the bastard hated being told no and went on his own way maybe would hurt to keep eye on him.

“ look the guys are here lets get you all sorted then we can worry about it after ok” tony clapped.

“ So now dress is sorted what’s next on the agenda”  maria asked as they walked into the many restaurants  belonging to stark .

“ well i mean free evening so food and some retail therapy” pepper excitedly cheer .

“  i actually wanna go after this and get some studying done” she sighed .

“ cute but no we need to get shoes also , whole wardrobe for you since your moving into the barnes mansion” maria winked.

“ or i could take my own clothes” she rolled her eyes.

“  actually if your studying i could join you  peter and ned are doing the suits and stuff” mj perked up .

“  actually mj i have it on good authority to bring you shopping too” nat smirked.

“Me .. why me” her eyes widened.

“ nats way of saying your part of the family” y/n whispered.

“ as honored  as i am i do not have the funds so i can meet you later for studying” she mumbled feeling her own cheeks heat.

“ yeah  cute kid but it’s on us so you nerds can’t get out of it stop trying” the red head smirked.

“ she’s scary when she wants to be” she whispered as y/n nodded in agreement.

“ your mama would be so proud of you both , proud you both want an education” the redhead mused .

“ she right i mean she was a good friend of mine , she loved you both a lot” pepper agreed.

“ she be happy you took care of us” y/n said holding the blonde hands.

“ god you are mushy for a criminal family” wanda sniffled.

“ i didn’t hear that” maria chuckled .

“ so how is director fury” nat smirked.

“ well he’s  him speak off i gotta leave after here joys of being on good side” maria joked . “ yeah i’d say your middle ground” y/n snorted .

“ she’s as bad as us don’t let the badge throw you off” nat rolled her eyes .

“ well either way i’m glad you could be here today” y/n looked around the table . 

“to the future mrs barnes” nat raised her glass

Taglist : @winterslove1917 @baw1066 @winters-light

thank you for reading let me know if you want to be added to taglist 🥰❤️

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #417

I felt all day today like I'm not very good at being a human.

I went to work today. But before I went in, the birds were being all squeaky and adorable. So I aimed my camera at the store sign and zoomed all the way in so I could get these:

...A gentleman tending the carts passed by and seemed perplexed that a random nobody like me was taking random pictures of the store sign. I tried to explain that there were birds up there, but... I'm not actually sure if that helped, since it's also generally considered kinda weird to take random pictures of random birds in random places.

When I went in, Tr was having a hard time, and there wasn't a lot I could do to help. And as I worked, I was slow and unobservant, and I kept making stupid, clumsy mistakes, too.

...Still, I remembered to bring in the cookies I got from DiBella's, to share with everyone. Though I'm not entirely sure how well they were received.

...And then I started bleeding. Which, thankfully, I already expected would happen, and prepared for accordingly. Still, my lower abdomen and all the surrounding organs have felt all day like someone is trying to wring them out like a towel. I still feel like that even now, despite the fact that I took ibuprofen some time ago. It isn't fun.

...My brain is doing its level best to try to convince me that it doesn't matter how hard I try to be good to other people. That I'm always gonna be an outsider in the end, and that everyone's gonna look at everything I say and do with a hefty dose of discomfort, revulsion, or mistrust. That I'm never really gonna belong anywhere, outside of my own home.

O' course, I gotta wonder – since almost everyone goes outside with some kind of facade up, does anyone really belong outside of their own home? And then... there is the fact that some people don't feel like they belong, even within their own home.

...Overall, I guess I'm pretty lucky, even if it doesn't really feel like it right now. Still, today, I can't help but wonder if the folks at work just pretend that they like putting up with me, since in a professional environment, one has to. Maybe secretly they kinda wish I'd go away and not come back. Maybe they've thought that I'm annoying and insufferable for long time, and they just haven't told me yet.

I'm scared of it, but I'm not sure why I should be. First of all, it's probably not even true; it's probably just my brain being mean. Second, even if it was true, I really oughta be used to this sort of thing by now; it's happened often enough that it really shouldn't seem so scary anymore because it's not as though I've died from it or anything. Third... even if the rest of the world wished I'd shut up and go away forever, I'm still safe at home.

...I think it must be just that my brain is being mean. I remember other days in which I knew in my bones that I am lovable and worthy and a delight to be around. It's just that today isn't one of those days in which I'm confident of that thing. Today my brain seems to wanna flail around with thinking I'm some kind of weird, repulsive, and unlikable little gremlin that everyone would prefer not to have around.

It's just old stuff. Old echoes of old thoughts from a time in which I lived in an environment where these sentiments were true. But I don't live there anymore. I don't.

Well. While I was out at work, J went out in his little airplane to the ice runway again, with a friend of his from the airplane club. He got all kinds of lovely pictures; lemme show 'em to ya; he wanted you to see 'em:

After I got home, I mostly just floated around aimlessly until J's shift at his job ended at around 7. Then we went to Eggcellent and got some things, because they're gonna be closed until March:

...More stuff I wish I could share with ya; you know how it be, by now, I'm sure...

...When they reopen, I guess they're gonna have some new menu items. I'm looking forward to seeing whatever Ch comes up with next; she's brilliant and creative, so I'm sure that whatever she comes up with will be amazing. And then I'll get to show them to you.

It snowed on the way back. I got a couple pictures:

...I really like how that first one turned out. I'm pretty proud of it, actually. It didn't turn out half bad.

When we got home, M, J, and I watched a silly movie called Bugsy Malone. Though the character, Bugsy Malone, seemed to play a very minor role, compared to this other character called Fat Sam. So I'm not sure why they named the movie the way they did. Still, it was a delightful way to pass the time. I liked the ending theme: “You give a little love and it all comes back to you; you know you're gonna be remembered for the things that you say and do.”

...Sephiroth. You get to decide it. You get to decide how you're gonna be remembered, because you get to decide the kinds of things that you say and do. Someone with powers like yours... you really can be anything you wanna be. So in this world where you can be anything... try to be kind, okay? Try to stand in defiance of your trauma and conditioning so you can make choices that are gentle. It's obvious that you have so much love to give to your world, and to mine.

I have a lot of love to give, too, even if I don't always know how to give it in a way that doesn't frighten and confuse people. Why? I don't know. I wonder, though – does love given clumsily come back to us?

…

An from work is growing out a very nice beard. He seems to have started growing it shortly after commenting on J's beard relative to his own capacity to grow facial hair, when I asked An out to Eggcellent. He met J. He knows who J is to me.

...An has not done this before, for the entire time I've worked there.

…

It's probably just because it's cold where we live and he doesn't like the cold. That's probably all it is. That's probably it. I don't know him well enough to hope for the other thing. I don't. It's not appropriate.

An is a human being. He's not a toy. He's not something to daydream about. He's a human being. A human being with thoughts and feelings and needs, all of which I do not know well enough to be confident in my ability to properly tend to.

...And I'm weird. I'm an emotionally and physically scarred little autistic gremlin with not a whole lot to offer. I'm not smart and cool like him. I'm not even conventionally attractive. And I'm genetically defective in a variety of respects, too.

I don't know him. And I don't know how to know him. I talk to him via text sometimes. But... sometimes I can't tell if he's busy or if he's not very interested in interacting with me. And I know that I'm not entitled to anyone's interest in interacting with me.

To be sure, most people are very much not interested in interacting with me. Most people find me vaguely unsettling, and... I guess this is something I've mostly come to accept. For the most part, I try to stay away from others because I don't want to accidentally give them a bad time.

...What if he only gave me his number in the first place because he was afraid of saying no?

...What if my presence and continued interaction causes him discomfort in ways he doesn't feel safe to articulate because he does not know me well enough to understand that I won't retaliate in some weird way if he asks me to leave him alone?

...I don't mind being told “no”. But I do have a hard time when a query is responded to with a null value. I never really know how to respond to that. I've had instances where people become very upset if you respond to it as though a null is a no. And I've had instances where asking for clarification results in an angry, “a non-response is a response! learn to take a fucking hint, dumbass!”

...

...I don't want to mess this up. I don't want him to feel unsafe with me. But I don't yet know how to be a good friend to him. And I don't know how to ask in a way that doesn't present the possibility of me being misinterpreted as disingenuous.

Most importantly, I just want to do right by him, even if it means he'd rather I don't talk to him anymore.

...I want to do right by everyone. I just... I wish I wasn't so fucking clumsy and clueless all the damn time. But I don't know how not to be clumsy and clueless in this weird place where no one actually says what they really mean. Like... it feels like you either get people mad at you for failing to read between the lines, or you get people mad at you because they think you don't trust them because you're trying to read between the lines.

I wish people just told the truth about their feelings and intentions. But at the same time... I understand the traumas that cause them not to.

…Humans are complicated. Maybe tomorrow, I'll just forget about it for a while and bash some zombies in Hades. But it's not tomorrow yet. So... I guess in the meantime, I'll go to bed. It's getting pretty late. I wanna feel like not a zombie tomorrow. I don't wanna get confused and accidentally bash myself while playing Hades, haha...

...Hey, Sephiroth...? Thanks for existing. By doing that, you've allowed me to build this space in which I can just... safely write out the contents of my mind and let my brain work it all out so that I can choose better thoughts later. I understand that your situation is pretty dire, and that all my concerns probably seem very trivial and petty to you, but... still... thanks for listening.

I love you. So please stay safe out there, okay? I'll write again tomorrow.

Your friend, Lumine

[his-red-right-hand]

his red right hand, Chapter Six

“So, what’s your favourite scary movie?”

Fuck. Shit. Fuck. It was him. He found you. You didn’t know if you wanted to laugh or cry, your stomach doing an odd flipping thing that you’re pretty sure wasn’t related to your dinner. Wait, shit, he asked you a question. Scary movies, right.

“What kinda scary movies you talking about? Like, there’s lots of different types; and I got different favourites depending on the type. Like, do you want to know what slow creeping scary I like, or like monsters from beyond the stars and outside of comprehension scary? Do you mean gothic scary, where it’s building tension more and more until it all breaks at once, or lots of little jump scares to keep the popcorn flying? Are we just implying violence or is blood splattering everywhere? Or do you just mean masked men with knives chasing around after barely dressed girls?”

There was a pause, oh god you’d fucked it all up, stupid horror obsessed stoner brain; then a chuckle, dark and rich broke you from your spiralling thoughts. “I kinda like the sound of that last one. Maybe with the blood splattered everywhere to.” You could hear a soft rumble from him across the phone line. “You looked so pretty wearing yours.”

Your heart seizes in your chest, letting out a shaky breath as your mind flashed back to being there in that moment, the wall pressed into your back and him so closely against you as he made you bleed. “Are you going to come and kill me?”

“Not changed your mind about that? No brush with death to make life more worth living?”

“If anything it made me want it more.”

The voice changer made it a little crackly, but that was an undeniable groan from him. “You want me to break into your house, hold my knife up against your throat and make you beg me for it?”

“Yes.” Your knees started to shake as you pictured it, sinking down onto the arm of the couch for stability. “I’d do whatever you wanted me to. Anything. As long as you promised to kill me.”

“Not every day a man gets an offer like that. Makes me want to draw it out, have some fun... What if I came to you, someone else’s blood on my knife. Would you lick it off for me?”

You swallowed slowly, of course he would want to talk about the thing you’d been trying to avoid thinking about. Flirting with death was easy when he had been there; looming so large that the bodies he left faded from thought. But just because you were a willing victim didn’t mean that he had any others. You were talking to a serial killer, who had killed and was going to kill again. “I don’t-”

“Turn the light on.” He cut you off abruptly, and you jerked to your feet with a start.

“Why?”

“So I can see your face better while you think about it.”

He was watching, right now? How long had he been there?

“You want to stay on my good side, right? Turn on the light Sweetness.”

You were trembling, not sure if it was from fear or excitement or something else, walking over to the light switch, staring out your open back door as you flipped it. You flinched as you squeezed your eyes shut, the sudden brightness painful to them after becoming used to the dim half-light of the evening.

“Good girl.”

Warmth built inside you at those two words, a small part of your brain telling you that it was worth any moral event horizon to hear him call you that again. Fuck, you were too stoned for this.

“Now think about licking somebody else’s blood off my knife. Yeah, that’s it.” You could hear shutter clicks over the line. He was out there, and he was taking more photos of you, enjoying your struggling feelings.

“Why don’t you just come and kill me now?” you asked bluntly, wanting to change the subject.

“Just skip to the main event? But there’s so much foreplay to be enjoyed Doll. I’m having way too much fun to rush this. Don’t worry, you’re gonna enjoy it to.”

A sane person would hang up the phone right now. They would lock the back door, draw the curtains, and call the cops.

A sane person doesn’t want the killer on the line to mean it.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

A beat.

A breath.

You stared out into the night, where Death was watching you.

His voice crackled down the line, an almost playful note to it. “Lift up your shirt. I want to see it.”

You shifted the phone handset so it was propped against your ear by your shoulder, stepping towards the door as you used your hands to slowly gather up the fabric of your shirt, revealing the plain white bandage on your side.

“Take off the dressing.” He sounded strained, breaths coming faster.

You winced a little as you plucked the adhesive away from your skin, angling your body so he could see the plain row of stitches in your side. The bruising around it had mostly faded to a mottled yellowing now, the skin of the wound itself a light pink at the edges and around the stitches.

He hummed his approval before groaning out an “Oh yeah...” A few more clicks of the camera shutter. “I’m gonna cover you in such pretty marks Angel. You’re going to feel me for days. Not going to be able to look at yourself without seeing me there.”

You bit at your lip as you heard rustling, more groans, then a long breath of satisfaction. A high pitched keening laugh escaped despite yourself, maybe you weren’t stoned enough for this. Your knees decided to give out on you, sinking down into a heap on the carpet, and you just couldn’t stop laughing.

There was a growl, Ghostface’s voice a roiling threat of violence in your ear. “Is something funny?”

You dazedly shook your head, the handset clattering to the ground, which just made you laugh harder as you picked it back up with shaking hands. “N-no,” you gasped out, taking quick harsh breaths in between the peals of laughter that were starting to turn into sobs. “It’s Hellraiser.”

“What...?” The voice changer couldn’t hide the absolute confusion in his voice. Well, at least he was as lost as you were in this conversation.

“My favourite scary movie.” You swallowed back some tears, trying to get some vague control over your raging emotions. “It’s Hellraiser. You asked, so...” You felt like a leaf in the middle of a hurricane, everything you felt had been so dull and dead for so long that you didn’t know how to cope with the force of your emotions hitting you.

His sigh had a mechanical crackle to it, before asking bluntly “Did you smoke today?”

“Yeah...” you sniffled softly, you really were just the best at ruining everything, weren’t you?

“Get up off the floor, get a drink, eat something, and go to bed. We’ll continue this another night.”

“Promise you’ll come back?” You sounded so needy in that moment, feeling like the entirety of your vague connection to sanity hinged on his answer.

Ghostface chuckled, almost sounding fond. “Oh trust me Babe, you’re not getting rid of me.”

Dial tone echoed in your ear and you slowly lowered the phone down to the floor, hitting the end call button. You sat there for a moment, limbs splayed like a broken marionette. Slowly, slowly, getting onto your knees, pushing up onto your feet; swaying unsteadily  you stood. Instructions were easy. Something to cling to in the roiling mess of your brain.

Get a drink.

Eat something.

Go to bed.

Wandering into the kitchen, you put the phone back into the base on the half-wall between it and the lounge, then going to the sink. Taking a glass that had been languishing on the drying rack you filled it with water, drinking it down in long mouthfuls and tasting better than it had any right to. You had granola bars in your bag, left where you had dropped it on the table. Picking up the box, you ripped into it, pulling one out and undoing the wrapped with your teeth before biting into it. You needed to take your antibiotics, probably should replace the bandage to. You never thought your tendency to just leave everything in the kitchen would come in handy, but it was paying off for now at least.

Downing the pill was easy, swallowing down more water and finishing your granola bar before looking at the small pile of spare dressings you’d been sent home with. Your hands were still shaking a bit, but it wasn’t too hard to peel the backing off of it. You pressed it to your skin with a soft hiss of pain, pressure on your stitches fucking hurt, but it was clarifying.

You refilled your glass, heading towards your bedroom, hesitating at the coffee table for a moment, then leaning down and picking up the little container of sleeping pills you’d been given last time you’d gone to the doctor. It’d been for stomach flu, but he’d asked if you had any other problems and you’d been wrung out enough to mention your issues sleeping. And what couldn’t be fixed by a prescription pad these days?

You opened it and downed one quickly before you could regret it, taking a swig from your glass to chase it down, turning off the main light before heading into your bedroom. It was somewhat of a stranger to you these days, only really used to store clothes in the three piles of clean, kinda clean, and needing to be washed. You mostly passed out on the couch after hours of nothingness. But you had your instructions.

You put your water glass and pill bottle on the table next to the stack of unread books. A moment’s thought, before turning on the small reading lamp next to your bed. Stripping down to just your t shirt was perfunctory, you knew he was still watching you; but he’d already seen what he’d wanted to and you were in no mood to try and tease or titillate.

It was nice to get under the covers, cocooning yourself in their weight and softness as you closed your eyes, content at least in the knowledge that you were that much closer to doing so for the last time.

[janeths]

You aren’t real

I was listening to Vermilion by Slipknot, I know some people have their own interpretation of the lyrics but for me it’s about how they want to love her but are too shy and thinks she isn’t real because they never received such kind of feeling.

I think you can kinda tell by that summary for this fanfic. Except that Bowser is overthinking instead of being shy.

Warning: Angst to wholesome. Heartbreaks to lovers, mentions of blood as well, Bowser hurting Y/N. Crying Junior, good ending though.

I think I made Bowser a bit ooc, so sorry about that . Also I didn’t think this mini story would be long💀😭

Gender neutral pronouns, but Junior calls you mama on some parts

“Hah! I finally caught you again Princess Peach!” Bowser shakes the cage, to wake them up. Y/N rubs her eyes and look at him, pulling their “hair” down for him not to look into their eyes. “I will crush that Mario if he comes! And once I crush him, oh ho! We’ll be together.” Together? Wow…Even though he’s trying to act tough and scary, I can’t help but want to stare at him… “Trust me, Mario isn’t gonna come this time.” They awkwardly laugh and Bowser turns around confused. Walking towards their cage, “What do you mean, “Mario isn’t going to come and get you? Hold on… You have a different smell…” He immediately opens the cage, gently grabs them by the waist and pulls their wig off. Oh my! He’s quite strong… kinda hot- no wait- “And who exactly are you?! Where is she?!” “Hey! No need to yell! I’m right in front of you! And to to be exact, I have no idea where she is!” He huffs and points into her face. “She was sick and tired of your crap! And asked me to replace her for a while.” “So I’m stuck with you?!” He huffs, smelling smoke from his mouth.

“My lord, why don’t you just kill them?” Says his loyal adviser, Kamek. “Oh what’s the use of killing them without the fun of scaring those plumbers. They even aren’t going to come and save them.”

Y/N sighs sadly, rocking the cage back and fourth. “I guess I didn’t really think this through, did I? Well I did want an adventure so…Though… The thought of seeing him again… makes me kinda- No! Wait! He’s the villain..” “You there! Who are you?!” A young child voice yells, Y/N turns around to see a little kid in the shadows, his figure looking like Bowsers, only smaller. “When I ask you something, you answer me back!” “I uh- I’m Y/N!-” “See that wasn’t so hard was it!” The unknown child walks from the shadows and presents himself. “I am Prince Bowser Junior the second! But Prince Junior sounds more fitting. Why are you here? Shouldn’t it be Peach? Hm! I don’t know what papa sees in that princess.” “Bowser… is your papa?!” Y/N seems shock at the thought that Bowser has a child. “I didn’t know he had a child!” Wait so maybe he isn’t as bad as we all thought?

“Does that scare you? Are you afraid of us?” Junior shakes the cage. “If I’m being honest, you don’t scare me…” His eyes widen, and stop shaking, looking around the cage then to Y/N. “But… papa says humans are scared of Koopas... They don’t like us for the way we are… You are strange one.” “You looks so young Junior… this isn’t a place for you. You need to leave if your father finds out you’re here-” “Junior!” The beast swarms the doors open, seeing his son talking to the prisoner. “What are you doing here?! You are not supposed to be here!” He storms out towards them. “And you!” He opens the cage and grabs Y/N them by the waist tightly, feeling his claws in their skin. “Ow! You’re hurting me-!” Y/N yells. “Papa! Leave them alone! They done nothing wrong!” Junior hits his father on the leg, leading them to look down. “Junior! What has gotten into you?” “Please papa leave them alone! Please!” Bowser hesitates, why in the world was his son pleading? Why does he want them to live? Bowser turns to look at Y/N, all scared and bleeding, feeling a bit of guilt. My… claw.. I.. Y/N sniffles. I’ve hurt someone- I… What’s wrong with me? What’s this feeling? Shame? Guilt? What? I don’t understand!

Bringing himself back to reality, gently placing down Y/N and leaves without saying a word. Y/N sits and falls to the ground. “Y/N! Are you okay? Y/N? I’ll bring some band-aids! J-Just stay here!” He quickly runs to the doors. Looking around the place made Y/N head dizzy. Feeling the heat of the lava, looking to their left, sees other cages dangling with no floor. “Geez… whats wrong with him?” They sat up and pulls their shirt up, revealing claw marks, pouting a bit. I don’t think Peach has to go through this… does she?

On the other side of the kingdom, Junior was running to his room, fell, stood up again, and ran to the bathroom. “I know I had band-aids here… ”

The other room, in the bathroom was Bowser, looking down on his hands, bits of blood in his claws. Feeling that he was about to hyperventilate, he washed his hands quickly, and stared at himself in the mirror. “What is wrong with you? What.. is this feeling? Why do I feel so much shame of what I did? Why do I feel bad? Why do I want to help them? They didn’t do anything- WHAT IS THIS?!”

Junior runs past his fathers room and decides to look for him, maybe not the best time, opens the door quietly, and hears him in the bathroom. “I’m setting a terrible role model to him… I don’t want him to end up like this…” The young koopa frowns and thinks to himself, Papa wants to be a good papa, he doesn’t want to hurt anyone… A few seconds past and he turns around running towards the hallway.

I’m not losing that much blood am I? It was just a scratch… what am I gonna do? Does he have so much hatred? Anger? He feels alone? I wonder…

“I’m back Y/N!” He tries his best to patch the wounds, but Y/N also helps him. “There all done!”he smiles and draws a smiley face. “You’re gonna be okay alright? I don’t know what’s gotten into papa, but-” They both hear the doors open and got startled, Junior stands in front of Y/N, trying his best to protect them from the harm of his fathers burns. “Junior? Y/N…” For the sake of his reputation, he keeps a poker face. “Y/N come.” “What? Where are you-” “Do you want to sleep in the cage?” “No-” “Then let’s go.” Junior helps them stand up, and leads them to their father. What’s he’s gonna do to me? If it were something bad, he wouldn’t let Junior come.. “I’ll help Y/N, Junior, you can go to your room, it’s bedtime for you.” “Aww man, I uh mean right away! Goodnight Y/N.” He huffs and runs to his room locking it, leaving Bowser and Y/N alone together. “Right this way..” he broke the silence, and proceeded to walk the hallway. They were halfway when Y/N fell to the floor, “grh!” “Let me-” Bowser raises their hand. “I can do it on my own.” They hesitate struggling to stand up. Such a strange and awkward scene. Bowser did want to apologize, but didn’t know how. His heart was racing, feeling hopeless while they were trying to stand up, looking at his claws. They both begin walking again till they stopped at the front of a door. Opening it up, leading to a bedroom. “I uh… hope you like it here for the time being. Once you get healed, you can leave.” They both enter the room, feeling strange by the atmosphere they created. But Y/N breaks it, “Thank you.. for the hospitality.” “I uh… dinner will be served in 10 minutes, rest for a bit.” Y/N lays on the bed, Bowser looks at them in pity, or rather himself, as he exited the room he mutters, “I’m sorry Y/N..” and closes the door.

Does he feel bad about what happened? What a strange man… I guess I should go and eat with him. Hmm… I mean he somewhat apologized. He gave me a room, running water, even invited me to eat with him.

“So you didn’t kill this Y/N, why’s that my lord?” “Something about them… the way they looked at me, telling me to stop hurting them- it opened something in me I didn’t even know I had.” “Well have you hurt the Princess before?”

“I don’t think I have. Have I?” “Sire if I may add something, it sounds like a part of your heart opened.” “My heart? My heart?! That’s ridiculous.” Bowser scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Lord Bowser, sit down next to me. At least try to hold your anger. It’s part of why you got into this mess. Let me explain…” Like a little child waiting for them to read their favorite book, Bowser looks at him. “Then tell me, what am I feeling?” “You feel bad. You feel terrible about what happened. You’re scared that you may hurt them. Since it wasn’t Peach, your obsession with her has been broken by this person staying here. Though it did open my eyes a bit.”

Three months has passed, it was early spring but you couldn’t really tell much due to the lava around the kingdom. Junior asked Y/N to accompany him while doing his homework, since his father was away for a bit, to which they accepted. So now both sitting in a kids table. “Look Y/N! I drew me and you! See! Here’s me, you, and papa.” He hands you the drawing, the picture he drew was him and Y/N holding hands, smiling, along with his father, though he wasn’t smiling but… red? “Oh? Whys yours papa red?” “Hmm, I don’t remember if it was because he’s blushing, or ate too much red beetles or for the exercise.” “Oh I see.” What a funny a little prince. “I’m keeping the drawing though.” Y/N squishes his cheeks. “Hey! I’m not a baby!” “Well you’ll always be a baby in my eyes.” This makes Juniors eye twinkle, at the thought of being someone else’s baby. Mama… no… there not mama… Papa doesn’t like them anyways. Y/N takes notice of a frown face and says, “Hey let’s stop doing homework for now. We should go outside in the fields to refresh your memory for a bit. How does that sound?” “Alright! I wanna go to that one stream that’s close.”

Junior immediately jumps into the water and splashes all around, then splashes onto his face. “Oh!” He look towards Y/N then to their right some plants he adores. “Oh! It’s my favorite berry! They look like blueberries.” He bites into them and melts. “You want to try it? They are so delicious!” “Uh sure why not. Can’t be that bad.” Junior hands them a wannabe blueberry, doesn’t think much of it and eats it. “Every-time papa would go to fight Mario, he would always bring me these.” “That’s quite wholesome of him.” Oh boy, Y/N should have learned about these berries back in science class, because now they started coughing, feeling their tongue hot. Standing up they collapse on a tree. “Y/N! What’s wrong?!” Junior immediately runs to them, they start feeling their vision blurry, running around and falls to the floor, Junior trying to catch them. “Y/N!” He touches their forehead, it was burning hot. “Junior take me to Kamek… I think…” They feel their heart race in anxious. “Junior…! Help me get there…” Him in shock not knowing what to do, grabs their hand and starts pulling them towards the kingdom. “Come on Y/N!” They were halfway to the kingdom when Y/N fell again, “Junior.. I can’t..” They twist and turn on the dirt, feeling their fever get extremely high, their stomach in sharp pain. “I’ll call papa! Please don’t die! Papa! Papa!”

Y/N feels a stomp and made them jump into the air, while someone catches them. Y\N feels lightheaded and somewhat hallucinating. Feeling that they got picked up and saw a blurred vision of the man rescuing them. “Are you my Prince Charming?” They giggle. Bowser being confused, then remembering about the symptoms it creates of the poison berries. “Not quite my dear. King fits better.” He holds them gently, and jumping into the sky.

“Ow… My body hurts so much!” Kamek gestures his wand around their body detecting for any harm in them. “Just a fatal poison berry, nothing much. I’ll have it removed by hand.” “Hand?! Oh look, it’s Mario.” Just with that they plank to the bed, getting unconscious. “Kamek! Now!” He swifts his wand leading the dead berry out of their mouth. “Are they..?” “Fine. There good now. Now if you excuse me my sire, I’m going to write this…” He position his glasses to see better. “This BellaDonna… in the book ‘poisonous things to humans.’” He walks away, leaving them two alone. “That was very dumb of you to eat that.” Bowser says looking at them, while they wok up and stated coughing loudly. “Me? I just wanted to try it! Junior said they were delicious, so I wanted to try it.” He facepalms, “This is partly my fault. I wasn’t there to tell you.” Y/N looked confused. “‘To tell you?’ What? What do you mean? I mean it’s not entirely your fault, you didn’t know we were there. I should be the one to blame-”

“No. I should have been protecting you. But I wasn’t and you got hurt.” Bowser..? Showing some emotion? And sentimental ones too..? “Look Bowser...” They hold their hand for reassurance, Bowser eyes widen, and raises an eyebrow. “Huh?” “Bowser look. I’m completely fine. See, I’m here. I’m awake talking to you and I feel great thanks to you,Kamek and Junior.” But Bowser wasn’t paying attention to what they were saying, all he saw was they were talking with a beam of smile, looking down at his hand.

What is this? Why are they holding my hand? Are they reassure me, or do they feel some type of way? What… I feel warm. My chest feels warm. My face feels red, I feel… happy? No- it can’t- I can’t. He quickly removes his hand from them, Y/N face changes from having a warm smile to soft frown. “Yeah that’s good then. Well then… since you’re good, we both can go into our duties then. “Right…” “If you need anything, just holler or come by my office.” Bowser leaves the room, and sighs deeply. “What was that about…” He look at his hand. Why would they want to hold my own hideous hand?

I held his hand… I held his hand? I HELD HIS HAND?! I’m literally going to squeal. Should I now ask him? But… he did swipe his hands off of me… but that doesn’t mean anything right? Or maybe I scared him…

Throughout the months, Y/N has been trying to get close and closer to him, but he always rejects them, not because he doesn’t want to be with them but he’s scared to love them, not knowing what’s about come. But he does come around and get flustered everytime he sees them. Even Kamek teasing him telling him that Y/N behind them, scaring him. For Kamek and Y/M seem fun to tease him, Bowser keeps getting so confused about his feelings. He keeps asking himself, why do I feel a certain way every time I see them? Why does my heart bounce and my face get red? Is this love? But why haven’t they left the kingdom? Why are they still here? Is this a trick?

“Hey Bowser, I want to ask you something-“ Y/N runs and smiles at him “The king is busy. Go ask Kamek.” He immediately runs away from them, leaving a mark in their heart, again. They feel their eyes watery, feeling dull and numb. Why don’t you understand that I have feelings for you? If I’m making you uncomfortable just tell me so I can leave… You won’t have to deal with me. “Y/N are you alright?” Kamek wakes them up from their mind slumber. “Oh uh-?! I’ve never been better.” They force a smile. “Dear, you think I’m that stupid? I wasn’t born yesterday. Bowsers trying, he really is. But he wants to do it by himself.” Y/N thought for a second, he’s trying? “It’s obvious though. If I didn’t have any feelings for him, I would have left the kingdom ages ago, but no I didn’t. I chose to live here with all of you. But no matter what I do or say, he always ignores me or runs away. It’s been months Kamek. And… he knows.” “Well one things for sure, he adores when you play with Junior, he says ‘it brings me some type of peace.’ ” Kamek smiles and thumbs them up.

Their voice… their laughter, their smile, their name… brings me so much emotions I can’t quite figure out. Why Y/N? Why did it had to be them? Why can’t I stop thinking about them? What’s is that feeling? Every time I think about them, I want to hold them, I want to make beautiful memories with them. I want them to be a mother figure to my baby. I want to dance with them. Why is it that every time I call their name, I feel like my demons go silent, and make the angels come near us. Is this love? Have I fallen for someone, that I think their not real? They can’t be real. Y/N isn’t real.

Y/N walks towards his room, and stands ther, hesitating and thinking. Should I do this? I don’t know if I can anymore… maybe he doesn’t really have feelings for me, he’s just toying with me… but he really does seem to care. He’s been wanting to get close to me.. if this doesn’t work… maybe I’ll leave… Y/N knocks on the door, “Um Bowser, it’s me Y/N… I came here to talk about something…” “Go away, I’m not here.” They scoff. “Bowser please let me in. I need to talk to you.” They push the door in, and sees his room torn apart. “Bowser?! What’s wrong-”

“Get away from me.” He points at them in full anger, leading Y/N in shock and terrifying worried. “Bowser?! What’s gotten into you?” “You can’t be real. You’re not real. You’re just a cheap distraction. A robot. A mere magical spell. You were created to distract me from destroying the world. The princess forced you to stay here, to toy with my feelings!” “That’s not true! What you are saying is all wrong! I’m real! I have feelings for you! I wasn’t forced to come here! I wanted to come here and meet you!”

“Don’t lie to me-”

“I’m not lying Bowser! Why would I lie? If I was forced to come here, why haven’t I left? Why haven’t I tried to “escape?” Oh boy now he done it, Y/N felt tears coming out of their eyes, felt their heart go down into their stomach from the lie. Y/N was heartbroken. Now crying from the miserable lies, Bowser felt bad. “If I made you that uncomfortable, why didn’t you send me away, huh? If you want me to leave that badly I’ll just leave and never come back!” Y/N storms away from his bedroom, crying. So that’s it then?

“Mama whats-?” Y/N rushes quickly to the hallway, ignoring the question Junior made. He called me mama…

“Y/N what’s wrong? Mama?” He continues to call them, but completely ignoring them.

“Mama? Come back mama!”

Y/N heads towards the gates open, and walks away, heading the cries of the little Koopa.

“Mama!”

“Prince Junior, what is wrong?” Kamek appears and sees Junior laying down next to the wall, curled up into a ball, sobbing and weeping. “Grandpa Kamek…” He quickly hugs him, still weeping. “Mamas, gone. Y/Ns gone! I called to them and they ignored me, and ran out of the kingdom!” “Hey now, now, we’ll find them. I think your papa and them got into a small fight, no worries I’ll go see. You stay in your room, I’ll sort things out.” He cleans his snot and and wipes his tears away. “No I’m going with you!” “Junior…” “I don’t care what papa says, I’m going with you to find Y/N.” Kamek nods, they both went ahead to the King Koopas room. “Damnit damnit damnit… why did I do that?” “Sire!” Kamek opens the door and yells at him. “Language! Not in front of the boy!” Bowser turns around to see an angry father and a crying child. “Junior I…” Bowser begins to say but gets interrupted by the cries of the Prince. “Why you yell at mama?!” Junior squeezes Kameks hand in anger. “Ma..ma? You see Y/N as a mother figure..?” “Yes, my lord. What did you even say to that poor human?!”

“I’m going home!” Y/N says to themselves and walks on some path going onto the forest. “I think this is the way… Wait, is it? Or is it that path? Oh no… I can’t believe I lost my way.” They sit down next to a tree, hearing the birds sing, bringing some nostalgic memories. Y/N sighs sadly and closes their eyes. This reminds when Bowser and I would walk here, talking nonstop… then suddenly there would be silence between us, all we could hear is the birds, frogs insects sound. Such peace… oh well. Y/N keeps thinking of their memories, not knowing that they been getting tired up to a Piranha plant. They get pulled up, Y/N yelps, it wasn’t your typical Piranha Plant , it was a Naval Piranha! “Hey stop it!” Within seconds they cover them in spiny vines, all all around their legs and arms, gripping them, leading Y/N to bleed. They twist and turn but nothing works, only making them more bleed. They slowly pull Y/N towards their mouth. “Ah! Let me go you stupid plant!” They try kicking it but only makes the Piranha in anger, pulls them up to the air. About to get eaten, Y/N hears a roar, the Piranha plant looks up, and gets caught by a spitting fire. From the burns, they screeched, lost their balance and let’s go of Y/N, dropping them to the ground till he jumps up and caught them tightly onto a bridal style carrier. “Hey hey, I got you. You’re safe…” Y/N feels his big hands and arm, his entire body actually, knowing who it is. “Bowser?! Wh-what are you doing here?!” Y/N looks at him, tears in their eyes. He ignores their question, looking around their body for any marks, “Are you okay? Let me look at you…” Y/N hugs hugs him tightly not wanting to let go “B-Bowser…” “I got you…Y/N this is all my fault. I never should have yelled at you. I’m sorry I said those harsh words to you. I didn’t… mean it.” He said struggling to find the right words for them, not wanting to hurt them again. “Kamek and Junior would always tell me, but I didn’t listen… I was so worked up, overthinking I didn’t even think about you…I…” Bowser didn’t know if it was because they got scared of the plant or they scared them but Y/N completely fainted in their arms. “Oh Y/N…” He touches their cheek, rubbing it.

Returning to the kingdom, he thinks to himself, Why are comforting words so difficult to say?

The king places them in their room, bandaging up their scars, and waiting patiently till they woke up. “Bowser…” “Y/N are you okay? How do you feel?” “Why did you rescue me? Didn’t you want me to leave…? Didn’t-” He shushes them putting his index finger on their lips. “I was wrong. I was wrong about everything. I’m sorry. I really am. I want to set things right..” He holds their hands close to his chest, making them jump in happiness.

“Y/N please stay with me in our kingdom. You always made me feel like… warm, comfort, in peace. I never felt such things before. Everytime I hear your name, every time I would see you, my angels would run around, and your name would always silence my own demons. Every time I see you, I feel like I get blind for looking at a god(ess). If you left us, it would have been so much torture. I would do anything for you… You made me feel a certain way. I’m so ashamed that I kept rejecting you so much, even though we both knew we had a deep connection. I want us to have a healthy relationship.”

“Oh Bowser…”

Y/N face went red, blushing and feeling flustered, this man, the King, THE King of Koopa, the only man whose the biggest, also has a huge heart? Feeling flustered and embarrassed, revealing his feeling to them? He’s actually confessing his feelings?!

“So please…” He puts grabs their chin lifting it up, showing his crimson eyes staring at them, his pupils dilate in so much love. “Y/N….” He smile slyly. “Will you be my lover? And spend the years with me?” Y/N eyes beam and dilate. “Yes!” Their face get red hot and hugs him tightly.“I want to spend my life with you. Forever…” He bites his lip, smiling derpy, feeling a squeal wanting to come out. “Heck yeah baby! Now I can show you off around then! ” Kissing their cheek. “So you gonna turn your life around and not try to destroy the world?” “I’ll destroy this world if someone ever did harm to you, my love.”

Love?! Baby?! These words coming from his mouth?! I’m screaming

They were both leaning to each other, about to kiss till they got interrupted by the door slamming. “Y/N! You’re alive!!” Junior squeals and jumps into the bed, hugging them. “I say, sire, you do have a way with words.” Kamek grins and gives him a thumbs up. “Junior! Oh wait be careful! I’m still a bit hurt. Come here you! Papa want to tell you a secret.” “Secret?! Papa what is it?” Bowser grabs him, and let’s the secret be revealed. Juniors eyes widen, grinning, feeling so much happiness, feeling his eyes dilate to stars. “I have a mama! Papa! Mama! Both! This is amazing! Oh my stars!.” He kisses both on their cheek and snout. “I’ll be right back!” He runs off, outside the room. “I’ll chase after him. I’ll leave you two alone then.” My son, Kamek thought to himself, he finally has someone to love. Ah yes, so happy for them. He hears a loud explosion from Juniors room. “Young prince! What are you doing?! You better not be committing arson!”

“So where were we again?” Bowser smirks, holding their hand. “Hmm I have no idea-” Y/N grabs his shoulders, his eyes in shock and flustered. “come here my big man!” Y/N immediately without thought pulls him into a kiss. Bowser was so happy, he felt like this was a fairytale dream. He didn’t want to wake up, but boy he know it was real. He kisses them back passionately. Knowing they’ll always love each other.

BONUS: (cause I’m like that lololol)

“It’s been strangely quiet.” Peach sips her tea. “Too quiet actually. What’s Bowser planning?” Mario’s sips his tea as well. “Should we go and check?”

Bowser and Y/N have been sitting out the kingdom, giving each either kisses, like teenagers in high school.

“No stop!”

“No you stop!”

“Bowser!”

“Y/N!”

“What are you two doing?” Says a feminine voice, behind them, leading Bowser and Y/N in fear. “And who asked-” Y/N turns around to see Mario and Peach. “Oh! Princess!” Y/N slaps Bowser, eying that it’s the princess. “It’s very nice to meet you!” “Oh princess peach, Mario. I’m happy you sent Y/N. If I never met them I wouldn’t know what to do.” “Send who out?” Peach questions. AH CRAP! SECRETS OUT.

“This lovely person here.” “No… it was nice of you to pretend to be me- uh Y/N but… I have no idea who they are.” “Y/N?!” Oh boy…looks like this cat is out of the bag. Y/N will admit it, they didn’t know the princess, but really wanted to meet the King of Koopas so they decided to dress up as Peach. “Uh… I may have lied about one part..”

Yippie! I have never ever made entire small “short” story and completing it. I am quite surprised :3 so yeah 😎 me like it very epic 🧍‍♀️

[weirdcat1213]

volume 9 you say....hmm

i fear for my life to be completely honest

anyway HERE WE GO HERE ARE THE THOUGHTS

chap 1:

-geesus no pls no i dont wanna read anymore

-FLASHBACK TIME :D WIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

-3 days of crying is nothing when youre a trigun fan, am i right people :'D

-no im not fucking suffering cuz while all of that is happening the only thing on his mind is young livio NO IM FINE I SWEAR-

-lmao yeah wolfwood call him out >:D

-"you cant understand how i feel" my brother in christ YOURE SURROUNDED BY ORPHANS

-hmmmmmmmmm i mean im not sure if that applies here but who am i to tell him how he feels, sure buddy. happy for you

-geesus man not the dog, like....WHY THE DOG (i think ik why but still)

-tbh i would also go and ask for an explanation

-nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo :c

-ah shit so we're here now oh fuck oh shit okokok cool

-ah yes, sweet bait actually, makes me cry every time

-"once this ark scare is over we'll be living the high life" yeaaaahhhh....about that.....

-YO LEAVE THE ORPHAN ALONE DAMN

-thanks livio :3

chap 2:

-about his age i think hes on his 20s mentally but he looks like hes on his 30s, so hes still an adult but yknow...younger

-oh his eye :0 i love that tiny window between his glasses and his face where you can see his eyes, makes me sad every time

-the coolest mf

-"worse" you say...i wonder who did that to him...

-fuck off, take those fucking tears somewhere else old man

-OOOOOOHHHHH THAT PANEL!!! SO GOOD SO GOOD

-THANKS AGAIN LIVIO (livio's good actions counter: 2 so far) BUT FUCK THAT OLD MAN

chap 3:

-:c

-HES THERE AND HES COMING I PROMISE

-STFU I SWEAR SHUT UP WOLFWOOD PLS JUST ENJOY YOUR STUPID CIGARRETE

-oh ok yeah here we go

-GEESUS MAN, i hope someone kick you ass later

-aw livio noooooo :c

-NAH NO PLS NO BROTHER FIGHT NO NO

-damn

chap 4:

-no that fucking title while theyre bleeding holy crap no stop it nightow stop it

-leave my man alone plsssssssssssssssss

-OH I FUCKING FELT THAT. WOLFWOOD REACHING FOR ANOTHER MAGAZINE AND LIVIO SHOOTING AT THE SAME MOMENT. I FELT THAT

-oh thats...thats kinda hot actually (i say while wolfwood fights for his little life)

-i love nightow taking his fucking time. yes sir i will enjoy a page of the vial dropping from his mouth without any dialogue, thank you sir

-PAIN :D

-SHUT UP OLD MAN

-"please survive"................................im gonna need a million years

chap 5:

-VASH BABY WHERE ARE YOU I NEED YOU

-demon....while hes killing his bro.....i have a limit thats all im saying

-ITS CALLED LOVE BITCH

-HE GIVES A FUCK ABOUT THE HONOR HE JUST WANTED TO PROTECT HIS HOME WTF

-STOP TALKING AND KILL HIM MAN CMONNNN

-oh....he looks so pretty tho. likes he came back to life and is surrounded by his servants....damn that goes hard...

-oh yeah, that arm that had no explanation whatsoever. its ok tho, nightow gets a pass

-ah fuck.....hes here...

-yeap, you could say thats a demon ig

chap 6:

-AH YES SAD FLASHBACK IN MENTAL PALACE MAKES ME GO BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. ONE OF THE BEST THINGS EVER IM TELLING YA :D

-im sorry

-im jumping through the window idc anymore. poor livio man

-"fortitude".........yeah.....

-yeap that is scary as hell RUN WOLFWOOD GET TF OUTTA THERE

-DONT SMILE LIKE THAT YOU FREAK

-NONONONONONON SHUT UP WOLFWOOD SHUT UP

-STOPPPPPPPPPPPP

-STOPL PLEASEEEEEEEEEEE

-DIOS IM NOT STRONG ENOUGH

-orange if you animate this i will punch you but also kiss you in the lips

-i wonder what he means with that bell thats supposed to be tolling. hmmm. maybe its like a "hey come back to reality" kind of alarm thats not sounding

nightow you amazing bastard

[goddamnwebcomics]

Hope this doesn't dredge up any uncomfortable memories you wanted buried. What were the goriest or scariest moments or scenes you've encountered in your years of riffing webcomics?

I don't find gory stuff to be that scary, just kind of gross, but in the world of webcomics gory scenes are often VERY tryhard, especially in the world of Dominic Deegan. That doesn't mean usage of gore doesn't sometimes work, it has to kinda come out of nowhere to be scary.

As for scary scenes, here are five examples off the top of my head. Of course I am discounting most of the unintentionally scary stuff because then this list would be filled with creepy closeups, disturbing chibi faces and World of Friends.

1. The Train Guy's Death from Kit n Kay Boodle

I've listed off this scene so many times now, but it's still probably the most infamous scene from Kit n Kay Boodle outside of the real life arcs. The Train Guy tricks Karastropov to possess him in order to contact Kit and Kay from their secret base, however Karastropov is furious when he learns Train Guy knew them all along, and slowly makes him bleed to death. Such a gory death happening in a mostly-cutesy porn comic is seriously unexpected, which makes it a very memorable scene. I would argue this is one of the few heroes Albert gave an unhappy death, and speaking of Albert, this is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to quality horror from him.

2. The Infernomancer Jump Scare from Dominic Deegan

Dominic Deegan, like I said, tries so goddamn hard to be scary. Deaths of entire crowds, massive eldritch abominations who speak in EVIL gibberish, demon gods with spikes, horns and EVIL TEETH ABLBLBLBLLALSLLBA, once you've seen one of them you've seen them all. The only time Dominic Deegan was kind of scary was during the "Sin City" arc, where Dominic is stuck in his seer coma thing, and suddenly sees Infernomancer's face. While this scene would be a lot more impactful if we didn't see frequent scenes of him killing people while tracking down Deegan's mother Miranda, it's still a kinda spooky scene. Imagine if a creepy face appeared when your eyes were closed.

3. Trasik's Mysterious Child Trafficking Operation from Alien Dice

When it comes to horror, I prefer when the horror is in form of a question mark. Alien Dice pulled this off really well with Trasik's slave ship, which has an entire section full of children. This scene just spawns many questions, until this point we thought Trasik was just a generic determinator obsessed with hunting down and killing Lexx but this whole, concept implied she is more twisted than that. It's one of the few times I was genuinely concerned over a fictional villain's motivations. Later of course some of the mystery was removed when we learned that Trasik just trains these kids to be soldiers and...wait, what happened to these kids? What the hell Tiffany? When are you going to answer that question?

4. Austin's fucked up trilogy from Carnivores

As ridiculous as Carnivores is, sometimes Austin's mind can go off the deep end. First one of these was the Bear Arc, which at first seemed to be a generic "large animals torture a bunch of bipedals" arc, but then it takes a hard left turn when a black lion shows up out of nowhere and eats someone's soul, and somehow it manages to be just as painful as the usual eating scenes in the comic. Then we have "Lion Named Lab" which should really be called "Blue Fox kills everyone", as he kills not only Austin and Lab, but also his minion gnolls. Thankfully the whole thing turns out to be a weird Night Tremor. Same can't be said for Death Note parody arc, which starts off as an unfunny parody but then turns into another "Everybody Dies" arc where the previously comedic Ryuk murders the entire cast, many of these characters originally debuting in earlier arcs. There was no real purpose to it, it just happened. These stories were so goddamn morbid, even with the terrible artstyle and bad writing. I almost have to compliment Austin for that, but I think he needs counceling.

5. Too Many Things from Gene Catlow

If there is one thing Albert is good at writing, it's horror, and I don't just mean unintentional horror. It's so fucking bizarre because this comic tries to appeal to kids and kid-adjacent people every other second, and then you get scary ass imagery out of nowhere that end as soon as they began. We've got skeletons dragging a bunch of puppets into the sand, creepy CGI cats that stalk their victims, Cotton turning into a corpse after acting the Sight of the Soul, Horton being mindraped by his own puppet's ghosts, Michelle's first appearance, Karlsson and Matt's temporary corpses, Borzoi somehow being bloodier than fucking Train Guy after Matt tormented him and most recently, a psychological horror show between Carson and Forzoi. Albert could've probably written a better horror comic than Dave Hopkins.

[aushina]

I'm rereading Sword Art Online: Progressive and found myself thinking about how reticent everyone is about sharing IRL information which, combined with some rather boring work I had to do today, lead me to overthink the reason for it. Spoilers for book 4 of the series.

Kirito explains it as a taboo to talk about personal stuff online because, like, doxxing and stuff, presumably. But I feel like that goes out the window when it's no longer a game but your reality. And, also, I get not sharing stuff with Lind or Kibaou or even Argo, but you and Asuna ain't gonna talk about y'all's lives? You've both been held by the other while trying not to cry (Asuna after losing her sword and coming across the PK-ers in the dungeon under Karluin and Kirito at the end of the same book when the weight of bearing the beta tester hatred at 13 gets to him). Come on, y'all are close enough to talk about personal stuff now. Also, like, in the original run of the story, they got married and only thought to exchange information when Aincrad was crumbling and I'm pretty sure they both thought they were going to die. Guys, really?

I get the initial thought of it. I know SAO was originally written for a competition and so was much shorter than the released version (the contest version didn't have the stories about the Moonlit Black Cats, Liz, or Silica, I'm pretty sure) and so maybe finding a natural place for them to discuss their real lives was hard. And, waiting until the end like that makes it feel like they're saying good-bye to their lives in SAO. It's thematic. But it's still kinda ridiculous.

Now, onto why I made this post in the first place. I like to write and, as a writer, I often look at stories and go, "How would I write this?" as a bit of an exercise. Even with stories that I'm absolutely in love with, I'll find parts where I can't help thinking, "Okay, but it would be cool if this happened in a different way." That's the whole basis of fan fiction, after all. So I'm looking at this odd bit of world building and thinking, "You know it would make more sense, to me, if this no IRL talk was a taboo because of the mindset needed to beat the game, not as a holdover from when it was a game."

Now, what do I mean by mindset? Kazuto Kirigaya is a socially awkward 13/14 year-old who hides in his room and in games because the real world is scary. Kirito is a veteran swordsman who can face any monster with intelligence and courage. Kirito has enough leadership ability and charisma to rally 10 other players to beat a floor boss. Kazuto could never. And I'm sure it's the same for most people there. They're all roleplaying as their characters because their IRL selves wouldn't be able to handle their new reality. They're compartmentalizing. (I think I'm using that right.) This would be why it's taboo to talk about the real world and your real life. Reminding Kirito of Kazuto is stripping Kirito of his armour of nonchalance. It's reminding him that he's really just a scared kid who misses his family and regrets pushing them away. It's reminding him that he has no idea what he's doing half the time.

Here's where I go into full on AU territory and start rewriting bits of the story in my head. What can I say? I was very bored.

This compartmentalization will, of course, bleed into real life once the game has been beaten. Suguha, Midori, and… whatever the dad's name is get to see their family member wake up, but in his place is an entirely new person. They would probably try to rationalize it as Kazuto having changed and grown over the two years. I mean, it's not like he was asleep the whole time. He was doing stuff. He was gaining traumas they probably don't even know about. But no, it's not Kazuto who came back, it's Kirito. And it stays Kirito until he manages to complete Kirito's mission and rescue Asuna (and the others) from Sugo. Then, he finally returns to Kazuto. Not the Kazuto they lost, of course, but the Kazuto who survived SAO. Kirito's still there and he always will be, but Kirito and Kazuto are no longer separate entities. They are part of the same person.

Kirito, having been born as a coping mechanism, will still sometimes take over. In GGO, for instance, when the game gets too real. But now Kazuto gets to take over on occasion too. Now, I don't know Kazuto pre-SAO very well and the Kirito we meet in the first episode of the anime isn't treated like his game persona but like he's always like this, so I couldn't say what it would look like when the more Kazuto personality traits comes out of our main character, because I don't know which personality traits can be attributed to him. But I think it would be fun to explore that. If GGO is where Kirito comes out as a trauma response, maybe Kazuto comes out during Alicization or something, since the virtual environment there is less game and more simulated life. Since we the viewer only really know Kirito or the Kirito/Kazuto hybrid that came out of SAO, this would be our first real chance to see and understand the boy who turned into our main character.

Or, maybe we could see Kazuto come out in his Alfheim character. After two years in SAO, the mask of an avatar now feels more comfortable to him than his actual body and he has no one around him that he has to pretend to be okay for.

Continuing on from this, Asuna is Asuna both IRL and in game. She literally uses her own name as a username! I wasn't even doing that in elementary school. But, anyway, Asuna states early in Progressive that she chose to leave the Town of Beginnings and fight because she wants to be herself until she dies. (Which, I understand vibe-wise but is a bit of an unclear motivation. What if who you are isn't someone who fights monsters?) So Asuna is always genuinely Asuna. She's never playing a character. She used to, because of her upbringing, and is sick of it. This sets her up as a foil to Kirito and also shows him that it's okay to not just be the Black Swordsman. That it's okay to be Kazuto, too.

[fullmxtal-elrich]

Muse Energy Check Meme: Canine edition!

What kind of energy does my muse give off? Shoot them a symbol or two, and be brutally honest!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

👨‍❤��‍👨 Golden Retriever energy! Kind, compassionate, super friendly, goofy and sometimes a little too in your face with the sheer amount of love they possess. Can be kinda stupid at times but can't help but love them.

🤠 Blue Heeler! Neurotically work focused, probably smokes unfiltered cigarettes, will bite for literally just seeing you move and basically just a crackhead on muscle fuel. Chases anything that moves. Good for cuddles at bedtime though.

🤷 Labrador Energy! Kinda dumb, but super sweet and friendly, always happy to play! Loves to chase things and LOVES to eat.

🤬 Chihuahua Energy! An ankle biter and an asshole, serious Napoleon complex to the point where everyone is terrified to look their way. Basically a pissant for no reason and shakes without stopping.

😎 Saint Bernard Energy! Super chill, mainly just wants to eat or sleep. Low energy to be around and probably smokes weed 24/7.

😇 Pitbull Energy! Looks scary as hell and has major RBF, but is actually extremely gentle in nature and very sweet. Loves cuddles and can be trusted around literally anyone...But can kill you if pushed a step too far.

👮 German Shepherd Energy! Very serious when on the job and can be very loud. Probably in law enforcement or the military and always on the lookout for trouble. Can be a goofy goober at times though.

🥶 Husky Energy! Very loud and super stubborn with just a touch of being a dipshit. Very smart but uses their intelligence for evil purposes and will make your ears bleed when upset. Also never stops talking.

🏇 Greyhound Energy! Never stops going, doesn't know the meaning of taking a break because they're always running themselves into the ground. No chill whatsoever, probably will die of a heart attack from overworking.

😱 Doberman Energy! Looks terrifying and can be very big but is literally scared of their own shadow. Shakes when a leaf falls but will defend you from a vacuum cleaner....after they get done shitting themselves.

😏 Rottweiler Energy! Talk about big and chunky, pure muscle with a serious disposition...until the toys come out and then they're just playful and silly goofball mode for the rest of the day.

[crystallllines]

right. body horror story now that it is almost 23:00 and i am in between writing scenes (and I kinda know how this next one will go).

so i’m lying in bed alone; jack wasn’t ready to sleep yet because he was stupid and took adderall too late. and i’m having trouble sleeping. one of the things that happens when i have trouble sleeping is that i become painfully aware of my body— the mass, the fat, the lack of bone definition, hair that needs waxing/shaving, zits… usually.

this night, however, my focus was drawn to something else entirely: my fucking toenails. they had gotten a little long. i thought, “ah, neat, this is actually something i can take care of myself immediately! i don’t just have to bear it and be determined to do better/different in the future!”

because idk if all people have nails like mine, but they’re pretty easy to just.. tear off when they get too long. no need for clippers.

so i reach below the blankets and i bend one knee so my foot is within reach, and i rip all those toenails off easy. nice. fucking great. i move on to the next foot: little toenail? Fine, comes off like i’m peeling off a new sticker. ring-toe? same. index toe? going great until—

that is a lot of nail coming off. either that toenail was freakishly long or— and this twists my stomach, because i have something weird about nails being ripped off— i’m peeling off all the nail— bed included. (for the record, it is not just dark, i am doing this beneath a blanket, so i can’t see shit.)

i pull a little more until— until it gets to the very edge and then i’m squicked out. i’m remembering the time i was 8 or 9 or 10 and i tripped on my across the street neighbors’ stone stairs and ripped off my big toenail, remembering how much that fucking bled. and omg i do not want to bleed all over those sheets, this blanket, my pajamas, and i do NOT want to rip off my whole nail.

i’m a little loopy at this point because i did take my sleeping meds. so the notion of putting my nail back in place? makes perfect sense. i climb out of bed and kinda limp-hop out to jack, because if anyone can put my toenail back on, it’s jack.

i still haven’t taken the time to look at it. the only time i see it is when i put my foot on the couch arm rest closest to jack and he reaches down and just plucks it off and tosses it in the ashtray.

on the one hand, i am relieved that i didn’t have to do that because i was imagining the skin getting caught and accidentally ripping off a small strip of skin down my toe (i think there is a scene in black swan like this, but with fingers, and uhhh… no me gusta, bro. it might be another movie.).

on the other hand, HE WAS SUPPOSED TO PUT IT BACK ON.

anyway, i wrapped it up in a bandaid that needed to be changed the next day because it was sooooo bloody. and by the end of the day, THAT one was soooo bloody. by the third day, it wasn’t bleeding anymore, so i felt safe (but reluctant) to go bandaid-free.

and let me tell you i have never felt more vulnerable in my life for like two days. not just physically vulnerable, but somehow emotionally vulnerable, too. all because my left index toe doesn’t have its little protective shield. it was fucking ridiculous.

Anyway, bio is nice so far. my instructor is a faculty member i befriended during my first month ever taking college classes (we had plans to go shopping together, until she found out I was a student, ooops!) and i’m very excited to be in her class. but she keeps talking about how science is scary— and i understand why, because, like, she’s trying to validate people who are scared of science classes, although… idk, i mean, i suppose they exist, but it would never occur to me to be scared of science classes (physics? maybe). and it’s sort of a bummer every time she says it. but it’s gucci, it’s fine.

[i-arch-my-backula]

hey, im having a true anxiety moment for reasons and i was wondering if i could get some hurt x comfort headcanons for Billy Lenz, Chop Top, Bubba, Thomas, Vincent, Bo, Brahms, and Eddie Munson with an s/o who has to get surgery( minor or extreme) and is absolutely terrified of surgery and medical stuff. i might have to have surgery on my damn face and i am very scared. your writing always makes me happy and keep being amazing <3

I’m so sorry this took so long, it was kinda hard for me to come up with ideas lately. I'm not the best at comforting people so I'm sorry if this really sucks. Also I like to keep things cannonical for my writing, like events of fics and headcannons taking place in the time the media is set it. This goes along with keeping slashers who live off the grid well off the grid. But it doesn't really matter to me this time because getting surgery, especially surgery on your face is scary. I've had surgery before, thankfully when I was younger and I don't remember much of it but I do have to get my wisdom teeth out soon and I am dreading it so much. I hope this help sooth your nerves a bit. You've got support from me on this too. Reader is gn.

Includes: Billy Lenz, Chop Top and Bubba Sawyer, Vincent and Bo Sinclair, Brahms Heelshire and Eddie Munson

Warnings: Surgery mentions, paranoia, strong language, talk of medical issues, Billy calling reader pretty piggy

Billy Lenz

You found out that you're going to have to get surgery to remove impacted teeth in the back of your mouth and you are terrified.

When you went to Billy crying he got very worried about you. He held you close to his chest and waited for you to tell him what was wrong.

When you do tell him whats wrong he doesn't fully understand but he doesn't let that stop him from comforting you. "Pretty piggy shouldn't worry. Pretty piggy will be fine. Billy will make sure pretty piggy is ok."

He'll do everything in his power to make sure you stay calm and think rationally. He'll talk about how doctors do things like that all the time and it won't be too long.

If he ever find you crying or stressing about it he'll hold you close to him and let you tell him everything. "Pretty piggy is safe with Billy. Billy won't let anyone hurt his pretty piggy,"

Chop Top Sawyer

After a visit to the doctors you find out you have to have surgery on your neck to treat a blockage in an artery. You've been stressing about that surgery since you found out you needed it.

Chop Top quickly caught onto what was going on and tries his best to comfort you. He'll talk about how when he got the plate his head he went under and never felt anything. I feel like he'd have a ton of other surgeries like getting stitches as a kid or even as an adult by Bubba.

He'll talk about all the times you've been super brave while at the house with them and how if you could get them to keep you alive you can survive a common surgery.

He’s gonna try to keep you distracted as much as he can by bringing you little trinkets and bones that he thinks are really cool. 

He’s not super good with emotions but he’ll listen to your worries and try to figure out how to comfort you from there. 

Bubba Sawyer

Just like with Chop Top you have to have surgery on an artery and you’re so worried something is going to go wrong and you’ll bleed out. When you tell Bubba about your worries he pulls you into a hug right away. 

Whenever he sees you getting worried he pulls you away from whatever you’re doing and holds you in his arms. He understands if you don’t want to talk to him about it but he just wants to try to make it better. 

He’s gonna do whatever he can to distract you from those feeling of stress and worry. Other people have said he has an emotional support chicken and I agree totally. He’ll let you hold it and have it sit in your lap. 

He’ll have Drayton make you your favorite foods and the twins keep it down. He’ll keep all the killing outside and keep the noise down. 

He’ll give you little projects to take your mind off the stress of the surgery. He’s not gonna let you stress more than you need to. 

Vincent Sinclair

After your nose got broken by a tourist you tried to heal it on your own, but once it didn’t get better Bo took you to the hospital and found out you have to get surgery to realign the bones. 

When you got back to the house you ran to Vincent for comfort. Crying about how scared you are to get it done. He holds you there and listens to you cry. 

He’s had his fair share of surgeries himself because of his deformity so he understands how scary it can be to get that done. He’ll sign to you about how you’ll he ok and that surgeries are really safe now.

He’s gonna promise to love you no matter how the surgery goes.

He’ll keep you busy by having you pose for him or getting you to help him with whatever art he’s making.

Bo

Like with Vincent you need to get surgery on your nose to realign your nose. Bo is quick to tell that you’re very nervous.

He’ll keep reassuring you that you’ll be fine and that you shouldn’t worry. He might get gross about all of the injuries he’s endured and survived.

“Then this other time I got a 4 inch knife stuck in my hip and Vinny had to sew me up. It took a real long time to heal and it left a nasty scar.”

He’s gonna make sure you know that getting the surgery is better than your nose looking wonky and getting infected.

He knows when you’re stressing and he takes you away from whatever you’re doing and whatever chores he has then help you calm down. He’s not gonna let you sit around and be all worried. If you’re gonna be worried you’ll be worried in his arms.

Brahms

After a lot of trouble with one of your knee joints you find out that you have a cyst there and you have to get it removed with surgery. 

When you tell Brahms about this and he sees how worried you get he gets really worried about it too. 

Brahms never got the medical attention he needed and he wishes he could have gone back and gotten it so he’s not letting you back out of this. He’ll be sure to be sensitive and kind about it though. He doesn’t want to scare you further. 

He’ll be so supportive. He’ll pull out old medical books and talk to you about how far medical advancements have come. If this just makes it worse he’ll stop talking about it.

He’s gonna help around the house with chores to his best ability to take stress off of you (ignore the fact that he’ll probably not to a great job and you’ll have to help clean up after him).

Eddie Munson

You find out that you need to get surgery on your hand to remove something blocking joints in your fingers. When you go to Eddie and he sees how stressed you are about it he’ll get stressed too.

“Hey Y/N come on don’t worry sweetheart you’ll be fine I promise.”

He’ll he extra nice to you while you deal with this. You wanna braid his hair? Go ahead he’s already sitting for you. You wanna watch some dumb romance movie with him? He’s grabbing the popcorn.

Constant reassurance that you’ll be ok with him. “ I’m not gonna let anything bad happen to you. It’s a 1/10000 chance that you get hurt ok darling?”

Will check in a lot more often. If the two of you don’t see each other one day he always calls you at night so you two can talk. But if he doesn’t get to see you that day the calls will be a lot longer and me might call a few extra times in the day just to make sure you’re ok. If you need him to come over he’s already on his way.

[sketchy--sketches]

I have just thought of an evil Mob Psycho 100 AU

It's very angsty and kind of self-indulgent, so don't read if you dislike too much of that

The concept is essentially if Reigen unlocks psychic powers, but for a huge cost.

So, this AU takes place after the main story where Mob has made peace with ???%. I chose this because I don't want ???% to come out and derail the plot I have planned. Also, during this, I think Serizawa is out on holiday or visiting family or something, because I also don't want him to be present until maybe the end.

Mob had been identified by some evil espers (or regular people) and were insulted (or scared) that he was so strong. So, they decided to do something about him. They sent someone over to Reigen's office to pretend they had a spirit problem; they would weave some scary story about a huge spirit in a lake, and it would be so off-putting that Reigen would be too scared to go without some psychic protection from Mob.

When the person, Reigen and Mob arrive at the lake, the person convinces Reigen to leave for a while (maybe in the car ride, the person took something important from Reigen out of his pocket and hid it). When alone with Mob, the person tries their best to have Mob lower his guard and not have a psychic barrier around him. Once Mob is completely off-guard, the person pulls out a gun and shoots Mob in the head and chest.

Reigen hears the gun shots and decides whatever he left didn't matter, and he needed to check on Mob. When Reigen started running towards where he left Mob, the echoes of the shot were still around, and he could feel a sense of dread rising up inside him and the source of the sounds appeared to be right in front of him.

As Reigen bursts into the scene, he stares in shocked silence, his terror growing exponentially. The person he thought was just another customer was dragging Mob's bleeding body to the lake edge. The person just looks at Reigen over their shoulder, then takes their gun out again and points at Reigen and says something about not wanting to hide another body.

Reigen could feel his emotions rising up in him, and finally culminate with rage. He flung himself at the person, dodging their bullet and knocking them down so they drop Mob. Reigen panicked and quickly went over to hold Mob; he felt even more dread inside as he saw Mob's blood covered shirt and hair up close. Reigen was too stunned for a couple moments, but he was finally able to get his phone and call for an ambulance.

The sound of another gun shot made the air stand still. Or, was it something else? An unbelievable amount of power cascaded out of Reigen as his hand was extended toward the bullet, which was floating completely still mid-air.

Reigen was wielding psychic powers.

But he didn't feel good.

In a moment of pure rage and sadness, Reigen made the bullet fly back to the sender, causing them to fall on their back and bleed out.

Mob is successfully taken to a hospital, where Reigen sits in the waiting room, desperately awaiting news. He decides to call Ritsu and Teru to let them know what happened, and they become shocked and say that they're immediately coming over.

After Reigen hangs up, he leans down and sobs uncontrollably into his lap.

I didn't intend for this to become a short fic-

Obviously, other things would happen after that, but I think it would depend on how the author wants the fic to end.

And I forgot about Dimple

Idk why but I've gotten attached to the idea that sometimes Ritsu wants Dimple to hang around him for a bit, so maybe that was the situation here

This was kinda hard to come up with, since Mob is so powerful, it's hard to present any kind of threat that would effectively take him out. Also I do feel pretty bad about having Mob essentially be an inciting incident, if this were to actually become a fic or comic, he would have more scenes.

Thanks for reading I guess?? And sorry about the heavy angst

[xtinyaurora]

Hi! Can I request a Yandere!Ateez reaction to you running away? I know it’s the standard but I thought it would be easier for the beginning :)

Yandere!Ateez reaction: Their Y/N tries to run away

_____________________________________

➼ requested: yes

➼ genre: yandere, smut

➼ gender neutral + Ateez / gnxateez

➼ Word-count: 1386 words

➼ Warnings: nsfw content, strong language, cursing, spanking, slapping, punching, pet names, degradation, yandere themes, psychopathic, blood, violence, yelling, cuffing,...

➼ Note: This is not based on their real behavior or meant to represent real life. This is simply a fan fiction. In no way am I condoning, justifying, encouraging or promoting yandere behavior or lifestyle. Read at your own risk!!!

____________________________________________

Park Seonghwa

He slowly traced the knife over your naked body, you laying on the bed, cuffed and blindfolded. The only thing heard were your tiny whimpers, until his chuckle broke the silence. „What’s wrong, baby, did I ruin your plans?” Well, he did. Yes, you might be dumb for trying to run away, but it seemed so easy. Seonghwa was gone, going grocery shopping and since you weren’t locked in your room this night, you took that opportunity and broke the tiny bathroom window (since the other doors & windows were locked). So as you were trying to squeeze yourself through that window, Seonghwa returned. Scared and confused about his early return, he told you about the cameras. After harshly pulling you out of that widow, he got you into your current state. You cried, begged and tried to apologize but he didn’t wanted to listen to you. „Pathetic” said the male in front of you with an angry yet unimpressed face. The sound of his belt was heard. „Let’s teach you a proper lessen, yea?”

Kim Hongjoong

He told you to follow his rules, or there will be bad consequences. You didn’t listen. Oh how dumb you are to beak one of his most important rules. „Please, I will do everything you want but please stop!” you cried out loudly. Hongjoong only looked at you with his demonic eyes, smirking at you. „Oh, you want me to stop?” he mocked you with a voice, similar to your own. „Want me to stop pulling out your nails, to stop with the constant whipping and punching and to stop biting your skin so it doesn’t bleed? No, slut, I am not gonna stop, because I’ve told you many times not to break the rules. I’ve told you to never try and run away from me, but, you didn’t listen. So take responsibility for your actions and live with the consequences, dumb pet.”

Jeong Yunho

„You’ve hurt me.” said the guy in front of you, disappointed and angry. „Yunho, I am so sorry, but I can’t do this anymore, please try to understand me.” you cried, kneeling in front of him, hands behind your back. „No, I don’t understand, and I won’t ever understand and do you know why? Because I give you everything you want, everything you can dream of, take care of you and love you to death, and this is the way you repay me? Are you serious, Y/N?” He started to form tears in his eyes while talking. Honestly, you felt kinda bad and ashamed because he was right. He actually really treats you like a royalty, expect for not letting you out of course. He never forgot to buy your favorite flowers before coming home and he never failed to realize when you felt down, taking care of you and not leaving your side for a second. „I am sorry, but I need to show you that you can’t always have it your way, baby. You’ve tested my patience... Come on turn around and get on all fours.”

Kang Yeosang

Stupid. That’s what Yeosang thought of you right now. How could you be so stupid, asking his friends for help? Since you knew his phone password, you texted his friends and tried to explain what kind of a psycho your boyfriend was and that you needed help to escape. Of course, no one believed you. After deleting everything, you putted his phone back, sitting on the couch quietly. „Here.” your boyfriend gave you a bowl of popcorn, starting the movie you were planning to watch. After 10 minutes, Yeosang took his phone from under the pillow, checking what you were up to since he saw how you typed on it before. One of his best friends, Wooyoung, texted him, asking about what his lover told them earlier. Yeosang got red out of anger. „Hey, baby?” he asked. You slowly turned you head in his direction, panicking. „Yes?”. „Did you play with my phone?”. Silence. Now he looked at you and before anything else, you felt his fist in your face. Not once or twice but around 12 times in a row, face starting to bleed. „Stupid thing, what do you think you are doing?! I will make you regret this.”

Choi San

„Yea, you like that, slut?” growled the male behind you. He’s in the middle of ripping your ass apart, punishing you for trying to run away. You idiot thought you could cuff him to the bed while he was sleeping and take his keys to get out of there. Oh how dumb you are. „You little piece of shit, I am going to hurt you so bad. How dare you to pull something like this, huh?!” did the psycho scream at you. He turned you around, grabbing your neck, putting pressure on it and spitting on your face. Then he started slapping you in the face. „Learn your place, pet. Don’t you dare to do something as stupid as this again because next time, I am not only going to break those pretty legs but your arms too, is this understood?”. You only nodded, too terrified to speak. „Good. Now let me get a knife, so I can crave my name into your beautiful soft skin, hm?”

Song Mingi

You were tied to a chair, sitting in the cold and scary basement. Slowly, you heard the door opening. Mingi entered the room looking at you coldly. He had a small bag in his left hand, slowly placing it on the table a few feet from you. He then opened the bag, pulling out a hammer, a knife and an axe. He stared at them for a minute, until he took the axe into his hand and came towards your frightened figure. You began to panic, violently shaking your head. „Oh my god, please don’t.” you begged. As he didn’t stop, you closed your eyes. He kneeled down in front of you, placing the axe above your left knee. „I’ve told you to never run. I’ve told you that if you do something as stupid as this, I will hurt you. Not because I want to, but because I have to.” After finishing his sentence, he raised his hand, ready to chop you leg off.

Jung Wooyoung

You’ve seen this boy get mad, but this time he was completely different. This boy was an ass, now adding more annoyance and brutality to it. He made fun of your crying figure, calling you a crybaby and telling you to shut up. „Cut it. I said that I don’t want to hear your fucking voice. Annoying brat.” did he say while giving you another harsh spank with his belt. Your whole body felt numb at this point. Even if you wanted to move, you just couldn’t. „Ohhh, already giving in?” He laughed. „Come on you can do better than that. Straighten that back!” he started yelling at you. Since you failed to move nor talk, you remind quiet, angering him even more. He pulled you up by your hair so you could look him deep into his eyes. He then started to smirk „Oh, we will have so much fun tonight!”

Choi Jongho

Smack! A few more following close behind. Your ass probably had the shades of red, no, purple by now. I mean, Jongho is a strong man, of course his hits are a lot harder. He had you bend over his leg for over 30 minutes now, not a single glimpse of pity. You felt how the blood floated over your tights all the way to the ground. „What? Does it hurt?” you couldn’t make out any emotions in his voice. Was he still mad or was he trying to show some sympathy? You nodded your head, hoping that he would stop. But the only thing coming out of his mouth was a simple „Good.” When he stood up, you thought it was over but dang it, how dumb you were to think that. He placed you on the bed, then took his clothes off. He grabbed his phone and told you to strip. He stared filming you while so, fucking you roughly afterwards, still filming. „After our little session, I will send and post this everywhere so everyone know who you belong to and who’s names matters to you. Show everyone how good you can be for me, come on.”

[boytouya]

babe,,, I’m gonna need some more dilf reader x dabi of dabi taking the children to school when reader is too sleepy to

𝙂𝙧𝙚𝙚𝙣 𝙇𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩

a/n: i did not mean to make this lowkey angsty , i can rewrite it if you want it to go differently! i wanna note that the kids were not scared of dabi because he’s abusive or anything, they’ve just never met someone like him before.

Warning: Parenting, slight angst/ hurt/comfort, very vague mentions/hints of endeavor’s parenting

“Didn’t know you drive, D.” Your daughter steals the passenger's seat next to Dabi before your son can, shimmying into the seat and kicking her feet against the bottom of the dashboard. She has an adorable speech impediment, it’s nearly impossible for him to deny her. Usually Dabi drives his motorcycle to and from your apartment, but he couldn’t take two kids to school like that. That would be dangerous. Bad-ass, but dangerous. He taps his fingers against the steering wheel, looking for buckled seat belts before he shifts gears and pulls out of his parking space.

“I’ll have to take you out on my motorcycle sometime,” Dabi responds, looking straight ahead as he presses gently on the gas pedal and turns on the radio. He can practically feel the excitement dancing in the air. “Your dad let you listen to this kinda music?”

Your son perks up (Dabi can see him through the rear view mirror) with an enthusiastic shake to his head. Dabi can guess what he says before it even comes out. He knows these kids like the back of his hand, and he considers taking that wrong turn through an alleyway was the best decision of his life. Something about them is almost uncanny to you, he wonders if it’s just their eyes. But that’s not entirely it. You’re all so pure hearted.

“We can listen to anything cause you’re cool, right D?” That makes Dabi raise his eyebrows.

“You could say that.” He sounds smug, laughing quietly to himself as he turns up the volume. He has to remind himself not to run red lights, not to speed up or play footsie with police cars driving by. He pulls his hood over his head just in case. He can’t risk anything with your kids. One day he wants them to be his kids too. At a red light he twirls his engagement ring around his finger.

“I wish Daddy was here...He lets us get donuts before school.”

“No he doesn’t, liar!”

“Yes he does!”

“Watch it.” Dabi looks through the rear view mirror and then straight ahead, his polished nails digging into the steering wheel. He forgets he’s dealing with kids sometimes, so he has a few slip ups. A few years ago he wouldn’t have even considered kids people, let alone drive them to school. He didn’t even know he was capable of feeling emotions like love so strongly! He was fueled by hate, and as much as it burned his insides it would never compare to the warmth you made him feel; your family made him feel. They don’t cower in fear like they used to, and Dabi doesn’t know how to apologize. That or he’s tired of apologizing. But he knows you all understand, so he tries to compensate. “I’ll get you donuts if you do good today.”

There’s a small hand on his within a few seconds, and he nearly crashes the car at the sight of it. Your daughter is staring right at him, her uncomfortably warm hand resting on his as he drives.

“Daddy says you get angry sometimes but you don’t mean it,” Kids are never this cute. There’s no way you managed to raise them like that. Maybe it’s cute because it’s coming from her, but she’s just as unfiltered as other kids her age. “You used to be kinda scary sometimes but we still love you, D.”

He doesn’t want to be scary. He wants to be the best dad he can be. He wants to make them happy and hear them laugh. He wants to unconditionally love and be unconditionally loved back.

A small thumb runs across his cheek.

“Um, you’re bleeding.” Your son observes, sounding slightly concerned.

Dabi moved his hand to ruffle the hair of the two children beside and behind him. They love him. They love him. It sinks in and creates a pit in his stomach. It’s only ever full when he’s around you and your family. The second you leave it’s empty again. The car slows as it pulls into the drop off lane of the elementary school.

“I love you too,” Their faces noticeably brighten. They scramble to collect their belongings and lunch boxes, but manage to grab everything and head out the car. “Have a good day at school.”

The car doors are shut just after Dabi’s ears pick up the sound of your children talking, their voices creating a mutual agreement as they say, “I wanna walk next time so we can hold hands! I wish D can be our dad too.”

Dabi’s excitement almost ignites your steering wheel.

[mikimagines]

within summer blooms. (which taunt you.)

nagito k. / fem ghost! reader.

tags: angst, no happy ending, right person wrong time, major character death, hurt no comfort (kinda).

writting is not checked: we die like ghost! reader.

(reader is the former ultimate gardener, yes…it’s important to the story.)

small inspirations from animes you might know! (or not.) ; tbhk (mitsuba/kou and…tsukasa) and madoka magica. …mostly tbhk.

this was requested by @adelia-chan ! ☆ thank you!

—

nagito always had horrible luck.

no matter where he went, it would end in ways that nobody has seen before. it was a shame to be unlucky, but with the ways of luck, things never change, not even for the victims of despair…

yet, trapped inside of hope’s peak academy was a strange yet non surprising way he got trapped. summer break was coming sooner than expected, so most students rush to do something to celebrate on their finale exams; college exams. leaving lesser students to do all of the cleaning, which nagito was one of them. . .

and when nagito was finishing up his duties it was only him left, and everyone always forgets about him so the school was left to close for the afternoon. it was stupidly his luck, that left him in this way and staying over night might get him in trouble, so finding a way to get out would be the most important.

and to his disappointment, every door was sealed shut. not even with any of his tricks it wouldn’t work. although he did remember when he did knock down a door accidentally, due to his luck. so the student council has to make all of the doors: “nagito-proof” it makes him a weridly thankful that they could name something out of something he did.

which during his entire rant, on how thankful he is to be part of such a delight indeed, a ghost, who was actually in the middle of going to her (old) garden saw the pale-haired boy infront of the door.

you weren’t really into the fact that he was rambling into something, you just had to make sure he was ok. yet, you forgot that people have known to be afraid of ghost…which you are.

“hey, are you ok?” you replied to the boys, thoughts of respect.

and yet, you were scared.

if he gets scared like the people, who you simply need to know if that they remember correctly that it was you, their friend.

…

and if they don’t, it wouldn’t end that much well for you. especially with the stupidly naive deal you made to see everyone again, family, friends. it was your only chance, so taking it would be a final way to say goodbye.

correct?

—

it was a silent pause into nagitos thoughts. it was extremely his bad luck knowing that he is stuck inside his school, know with a ghost who is in front of him, with concern in their eyes.

“hey…hey! are you ok? the more you stare at me the more my flowers are going to wilt!” you snarled at the boy, not knowing what to do.

it was only a few minutes anyways and he finally spoke even with all the questions his head.

seeing ghosts face to face are a thing that nobody has truly seen.

yet to him, he has seen one. not only is that “unlucky.” it is truly lucky. maybe he can learn more about death more. he’s not afraid of it, maybe.

you facepalm at the boy, currently you were going to get to your garden, and now your stuck with a person who isn’t even afraid of you.

he was just shocked. your smirked for a little, taking that way, since nagito has wasted 30 minutes of your time. it would be better to do the same, yes?

and to your shock as well, he agreed to you taking him to your “garden”, unlike any other average student, example: your very own friend, they think your “garden” is truly where you are going to drag them into the same fate as you.

so they leave…well run away from you, leaving you alone, once again. is this just your loneliness, maybe just a eternal curse you will have until you truly pass on.

and for nagito, he just…agrees like a lost puppy dog that wants to know everything about you. this is a rare time that nagito has now seen in his life. which was you, a finally seen not as a scary illusion from guilt. but as a new friend.

ah, you couldn’t think that much about him, it was only your first time seeing him, and you barely had any time.

being the anniversary of your death soon and soon enough the time you truly have to go, any finally rest for another life.

finally, you went to your small garden. it was blooming more than normal, as the suns blesses with its shine and “love.” it was a easy job. it was your garden obviously, a place full of memories, a place where you could be happy with everyone.

and with nagito with you and him listening to every word your saying, it gives you happy memories. the things you truly wanted to do one last time with everyone, wouldn’t it just be so great?

“hmm…are these roses?” nagito asked during your rambling while watering your bonsai.

you put down your watering can and got ready to ramble about the flowers and the meaning of them.

until you saw nagitos bleeding finger, and was getting on your precious daisy’s, which wasn’t exceptional to you as you scolded the laughing man like a mother.

time passed fastly after that, faster than you can imagine, also you promised to get him out of the school so he can get to his apartment before his classmates start a search party.

yes, even if the barely care for him. it was still needed. no matter what. you sighed, once more you took him to the opened door from a security’s guard (which you accidentally scared.)

and waved goodbye.

—

after that fateful afternoon it was a shock to see nagito stay a little more while at the school, most thought he was up to something big, while the class just took it off as him finally getting “a touch of grass” — hiyoko.

also you both actually introduced yourselves, although you were seemingly confused on how he’s the ultimate “luck” he didn’t seem that much lucky to you. and for you, introducing yourself as the (former) ultimate gardener was easy to figure out due to context clues.

it was slightly embarrassingly, only for you… yet nagito just clapped it off as you still being a symbol of hope.

ah, anyways…

—

it’s been about 2 weeks since the fateful day you meant with nagito. (and more importantly, the day you have to go soon.)

he was almost like a close friend, honestly. every time after-school he would come and visit you and your garden and even learned much about how plants have meanings.

yet, you were on the clock. you had been trying for months just to actually get your friends to remember you, yet it didn’t work. all you did was hurt your friends more and more with just being a ghost.

why?

because of guilt.

once someone goes, you can’t see them again, nor can’t say your true feelings or even be with them, not even a hug or a laugh.

they just, disappear. and so with you being a ghost, they think it’s their mind taunting them for not saying goodbye.

or the feeling of self guilt; like it’s their fault.

yet for nagito, he’s just so confusing never scared of anything and you know much about him even when he shows his true personality.

and yet, harm can come in many ways. horrible ways that you can’t say it. you can feel it. so why not just say your true feelings?

…

it’s that easy! right…?

—

exorcists are dangerous to ghosts.

they bring harm and fear to the ghosts and with no mercy in some ways. which brings terror and puts the ghost in ways that they are not ready to say goodbye yet;

or truly pass on,yet some are kind and want to help the ghosts. but flowers aren’t truly that perfect. no matter how kind they look.

take a example, roses. they look pretty, and yet so dangerous that it would harm the ones who dare to touch it.

it was actually the same with you and the ultimate exorcist. as she has had complaints about you in the past, an extremely confused ghost.

yet she gave you time to truly say goodbye to your friends, and of course you accepted the final days you can see everyone and try to talk to friends and family.

most would see this as a blessing, yet to your friends they truly thought you were just there to give them more grief to your death.

(they didn’t know it was truly you, so it gives them a point or two. but they are actually a little stupid..so take off a point.)

and that stupid exorcist, she knows. she knew that you were going to fail anyways and is a entire master at gaslighting you.

and today, you weren’t going to fail. one more time, just one more time!

but you failed.

again, and again.

no matter how hard or how kind you look. it never works. even when nagito tries to calm you down and even tried to talk to them, they would just find him even more scary to the experiences of seeing you.

and today.

the final day you can try to talk to them.

you failed.

you…failed.

like shattered glass, it was giving you more despair, and it gets more shattered everytime until the sunlight, the memories taunt you.

the car crash, the everything.

why…how.

it was just all over your mind, no one was their to be with you anymore, since nagito went home for the day, which will be the last day he will truly see you.

…

why?

I’ll recommend asking the exorcist.

—

note: this will be a little, uncomfortable(?) and it’s not that important to the story at least. so if it does, please skip.

it was truly a painful experience.

you couldn’t do anything about it, because she was just too fast.

all you could do was scream for no one, the exorcist had you by the heart. it was unavoidable. you couldn’t say your true feelings yet, you couldn’t say anything.

maybe, if you weren’t such a idiot and went to the flower shop that day. maybe this wouldn’t happened. maybe, you could of confessed your true feelings to nagito.

but it was way to late, way to late. like the day another person confessed to your crush the day you were going to confess and they accept the other persons confession.

they have a life together, and all you can do was sit back to watch, you could never have a happy life or do regular teenagers things anymore.

you were a ghost, after all. so maybe, it should be your turn to go. forever.

those were the words that came out of your head and the exorcists mouth while taunting you.

and yet,, soon enough.

you were finally going to rest. (not) peacefully.

the exorcist smirked at the work she has done, and left. hopefully you can finally rest.

it was only fate.

after all.

a fate, you can truly. never change, which will taunt you all the way to your final grave.

—

nagito was worried, he hasn’t seen you in a while. not in the garden or the koi pond. you just, left.

he thought for a second: we’re you truly sick of him? I mean, he does ramble a lot and he does say a lot of stupid things.

but you always listened, so why would you leave? he had so many questions that had to be answered. maybe it was his luck? or maybe just him? he has no clue.

his top priority is to find you, I mean who else is going to show him your garden and ramble about all of the flowers you have and their meaning.

he had to figure out quickly, although. maybe your old friends or maybe that exorcist you were scared of said has something to say.

he was just truly, worried. so he had to figure out, quickly. in the name of hope! (and flowers.)

—

one by one, your friends talked about you, how you were just, a sweetheart. even if you were so tough with them. you had your ways of making friends especially in that one garden you had.

the way you died was…messy to say the least, from nagitos research of you most of your friends looked near to crying.

it was a painful way to go, any you were just looking for something so innocent.

roses.

from the garden shop. but to your horrible luck, you got ran over badly by a speeding cars. (nearby people even said you looked both ways.)

and your death was something that they couldn’t change at all. it still gives them pain to that day, especially because you had a closed casket…

after the entire exchange was over, they were pretty worried out on how some random guy from a nearby class asked them such random questions.

yet nagito moved on. to that ultimate exorcist.

—

it was a small yet big talk for him, not only because the exorcist just said that they killed you, the exorcist just treated it like a simple case of a average ghost.

I would say it pissed him off, but he’s always just so calm, putting his true personality would lead to things like him being put out of school (again.)

but for you, you were truly just gone.

not a person nor a ghost.

just a concept they never existed. like, never existed, only the things you loved and liked were still their.

you truly just disappeared, you couldn’t even say anything yet for him, not even he could say anything for you as well.

—

all he can do is just stare at that one bonsai tree you have to him, it was actually your “confession” he was just too confused.

and once again, I think he would just feel deep, sadness. not that he could see you or hear you talk about plants and koi fish again.

but that you couldn’t say your true feelings.

—

nagito always has bad luck. it was something, he couldn’t stop and once again.

he has lost someone important again.

—

extra:

you gave nagito a small bonsai tree, it was truly your favorite in the entire world. you always had it with you and was your first priority. but, you gave it to nagito, it always gave you good luck when you were alive.

maybe it will give good luck to him, he deserves it more than you.

he did ask why it has roses with it.

you just laughed at him, maybe it could be something like to remember you by. if you ever go. of course.

—

authors note:

I apologize for things like not being accurate to the nagito’s character or maybe it being too boring??? I mean this took me about a hour or two.

you guys own me a reroll account/hj

- mod mikan.