#it’s just… it bothers me… and I might not be able to keep my mouth shut for long. nobody else seems to be saying it
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I wanted to analyze all the bedrolls in mouthwashing. Why? Because something is bothering me so I'm reaching out for opinions. SPOILERS FOR THE GAME, btw.
Now I haven't searched through the whole game for every single instance of a bedroll, I'm just looking at the main ones we see. Any images are screenshots from a video so sorry if the quality is bad.
Swansea's
His is surrounded by bottles (can't tell if empty or not), and is outside Utility. Most likely so he can guard Utility better. Interestingly enough, this was the bed that Daisuke was placed on after the vent incident. I guess Swansea had no more reasons to guard Utility anymore, or even sleep for that matter. Plus I think it's closest to where they found Daisuke. Correct me if I'm wrong.
Anya's
Her's is next to the Polle statue. I read a theory that she put her bed there because it goes off automatically when someone goes near it. That way it alarms her and potentially wakes the others up if someone gets too close. I think that's very plausible, and makes Jimmy breaking it sad.
Another thing that caught my attention is that she's sleeping away from Jimmy. I don't know the term, but like, her head is furthest from Jimmy while her feet are closest. Once again, maybe so that she really hears Polle when someone gets too close.
Daisuke's and Jimmy's
(because they're so close together I might as well mention them together)
This one makes me feel the most anxious, given what we know about Jimmy... He's also close to Anya's too, but not one toss-and-turn away like he is with Daisuke. They are so close that when Jimmy wakes up because Curly's cries are echoing through the halls, you can hear Daisuke breathing without needing to get up. Not snoring, no, small shallow breathes through the mouth.
Which also means Daisuke is a mouth breather but let's not get side-tracked.
They sleep next to each other before AND after Swansea and Anya's talk. Which either means that A) Anya didn't tell Swansea about what Jimmy did to her and her current situation, maybe instead discussing how she thinks Jimmy was the one to actually crash the ship. B) She did tell him and Swansea didn't tell Daisuke because he thought Jimmy wouldn't do that to him. That's all sorts of messed up, especially when we know he's much younger and is easy to manipulate if you say the right words. As we learn how Swansea was able to keep Daisuke away from helping with the foam, he doesn't tend to question things if it's from someone he views highly (With Swansea > Jimmy in the hierarchy).
It makes me feel nervous about what could have been, or even possibly about what's already happened and we'll never learn about it.
Also Daisuke sleeps with his boots on. What. Why? Is it dev reasons? Wild.
All in all neither Anya or Daisuke should be close to Jimmy there's so much space there please move away.
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We’re always getting into arguments about racism, sexism, ableism and queerphobia in fandom, but I really really wish more fans would discuss how rampant, unquestioned, and unchallenged the classism is.
#am I gonna have to do it? please don’t make me do it.. that’ll put a target on my back for sure#I’ve been on this hellsite for 10 years and never received anon hate bc I’m just chilling#it’s just… it bothers me… and I might not be able to keep my mouth shut for long. nobody else seems to be saying it#(*whispers* classism is the root of all evil)#maybe I will get all commie on this blog at some point#discourse#my posts
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i haven’t stopped thinking abt wrio like,,, bodyguard wrio,,, underground fighter wrio,,, hate sex wrio,,, god help me
cw. bodyguard wriothesley, overprotective, possessive & dom, fem! reader
bodyguard wriothesley who likes to leave you staggering on the edge of a spinning insanity when he intentionally addresses you as "sweetheart", "princess" or "my lady" whenever he follows your orders, and it really doesn't matter to him where the both of you would currently be— if, lets assume, a quick shopping spree around fontaine or something more to his own liking, such as having you pushed down on a bed by your hips, parting your legs with his knee as large hands easily slide and secure around your waist.
bodyguard wriothesley who makes your mouth fall open on a hard, broken gasp when he swiftly traps you in place right under his strong frame, spurring you into immediate action by a dirty comment such as, "you're so sensitive, my lady." was in fact, a deep sort of satisfaction that gets you to ease up and forget yourself for a second, or the obvious fact that you're currently fucking your own personal bodyguard and that it might not be the best out of all your ideas, yet it still feels so fucking fine when he does it.
and archons, does he know what to do to keep you spiraling into euphoric bliss.
bodyguard wriothesley who adores whenever you tumble over your little, pathetic mewls when he pushes his fat tip inside of you for the very first time this night, and he notices how you're tightening up a bit when he adds another inch and spits on your cunt to have you all wet and nice, deep drags penetrating your most delicious spots while you're still loose enough that wriothesley can rub over your pulsating walls splendidly, tasting the soft clench of a warm, sore pussy on his throbbing girth.
bodyguard wriothesley who hooks up a smile at you, pearly whites grabbing your attention, admiring just how unbelievably cute you were— his boss, his princess and he could spend his entire day fucking you just the way you wanted it, with his dripping dick shafting through your pussy, manhandling you while plunging his lips against your tits to attach his hungry mouth to your nipples.
and how good you were, ah what a sight, able to swallow his cock, despite its size, working your sopping insides into the vast shape of his length so you're all marked up for him, because do keep in mind for a second— he was the one protecting you, and he would lie to himself if he'd say he couldn't become a little too possessive every now and then, while watching out that no one would bother you, no guy talk to you and wriothesley loved taking care of your needs, in many more ways than an outside person would assume— whilst all the others who even dared to look your precious, enticing way?
they aren't even half as tall as him, half as strong as him or most importantly, half as good in bed as him— the man was confident that no other was able to make you scream and enjoy yourself just the way he did.
and you were aware of that, sometimes cursing yourself as to why you let it go on for so long and be that unprofessional— but then he's here to quickly make you regret nothing at all— with your mind hanging in the clouds, still blank and the loud blows of gluttonous moans and your sexes bumping against each other, that you'd never ever feel more protected by any other individual, only him, your hands swiftly finding flaming solace in his soft locks when you hide yourself in his warm neck, pressing frenzied smooches around his defined shoulder as wriothesley groans out deep, "fuck— princess!", sensing how you're about to lose yourself to a high.
©2023 anantaru do not repost, copy, translate, modify
#genshin smut#genshin x reader#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact smut#wriothesley x reader#wriothesley smut
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pairing: aaron hotchner x reader
summary: your BeReal for the day is, perhaps, a little too real
contents/warnings: smut (18+, minors dni)
There's no mistaking the notification that chimes on your nightstand. It's BeReal, the unique sound lets you know, and you're not in the best position right now to answer it.
You're in the best position, period. You're sprawled out against Aaron's silky bedsheets, the fabric soothing and cool against your flushed skin. You're sweaty, hot, and bothered, your cunt begging for more as Aaron drives his cock repeatedly through your sopping folds.
"Fuck," You hiss, partially at the feeling of Aaron's teeth scraping at your collarbone, and partially because you panic at the sound, "Aaron, my- gimme my phone."
"Don't you think this is a little more important?" He grunts, nearly knocking his skull into your jaw as he lunges for a kiss. He takes you by surprise, and you're nearly pulled away from your urgency to post when his tongue practically slips down your throat.
You nearly gag on it, and your nails take a break from scratching up his back to weave through the short strands of hair at the back of his neck. It's not long enough to tug, but he huffs at the feeling of your nails scraping across his scalp, and rocks his hips into yours slightly faster.
"Oh, fuck, Aaron," You pant when he finally lets you breathe, burying his head in your shoulder to bite at the skin there instead, "Aaron this is so hot, I wanna- please, I wanna post it."
"No face," He instructs, and you're more than happy to choose a different area of his body to focus on, "Don't need Garcia figuring us out."
The moans that escape your mouth, albeit muffled by Aaron's own, are so pornographic that you're paranoid they'll somehow be captured in the photo you snap. When you finally get your hands on your phone you aim it at Aaron's back, as well as the red stripes left by your newly manicured nails, and snap a photo. Then, with the front camera, your jaw that's been sucked sore by Aaron, and in the corner of the shot, his short black hair and strong jawline nestled against your skin. You keep it just as he's instructed, vague enough of a profile so that your coworkers shouldn't be able to figure out that it's him, and his post without a second thought. You feel the buzzings of replies soon after, but you're no longer capable of caring about them while they vibrate against your nightstand, much happier to focus on Aaron's relentless jackhammering into your pulsating cunt.
--
Gathering in the conference room the next day means that you get a lot of shit-eating grins. You'd expected it, what with the soft porn you'd posted, and you're surprised when even Rossi offers you his congratulations.
"Nice going, kiddo," He knocks elbows with you, and you laugh sheepishly.
"You saw?"
"Morgan filled me in," He nods, "Garcia was the first one to know, of course, but it spread very quickly."
You don't have it in you to be embarrassed in front of your team too badly. You're all adults, and they're more proud of you than anything, even if Reid's smile is extra awkward today.
"Just be glad Hotch doesn't have the app," Emily laughs, and for a moment you forget that they don't know you're together. But you play it off with a wry smile towards her as your Unit Chief walks through the door, and you're happy to let your attention drift to him as he speaks.
His tone is authoritative, like always, and you fight to stop something from stirring between your legs. You tune into what he's saying instead, something about a double homicide in Kansas, and that helps dissuade any distracting thoughts you might have had.
"-and those pictures are... not on the monitor." Aaron narrows his eyes at the black screen, and Garcia nearly breaks the remote trying to get it to respond.
"Sir, I'm trying! I'm sorry," She frets, mashing all of the buttons at once in her panic, "It's not working, I- I think the batteries might be dead?"
"I changed them two weeks ago," Hotch shakes his head while taking the remote from her, stepping up towards the monitor to fiddle with the buttons beneath it, "It's alright, Garcia, it's not your fault."
He cranes his head down to peer at remote in his hand, intent on making sure no acid has leaked from the batteries, but when he does so, the back of his neck is no longer covered by his shirt collar, and it's bright red.
There's clear marks from your nails, red streaks that haven't faded in the mere hours they've been left alone and probably won't for another day. It barely takes any time for a room of profilers to connect two and two, and Penelope's position as technical analyst doesn't hinder her realization.
Your hand shoots over your mouth as the rest of your team exchanges incredulous gasps and jeers, all looking rapidly between you and Hotch. He turns to raise an eyebrow at them all and his eyes land on your bashful grin.
"Remind me to rub some aloe on the back of your neck when we get home," You mumble sheepishly, and there's only more scandalized comments made about how you two go home together.
Aaron's jaw clenches and he sighs defeatedly at the realization that you've both been caught, a hand flying up to cup the back of his neck.
Everyone waits with bated breath to hear what he has to say for himself but he can't manage to muster up anything to save the awkward situation.
"We'll look at the details on the jet," He grumbles, setting the faulty remote on the counter and snatching his bag off of the ground beside his chair, "Wheels up in thirty, and we never speak of this again."
#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner imagine#aaron hotchner scenario#aaron hotchner oneshot#aaron hotchner one-shot#aaron hotchner one shot#aaron hotchner headcanon#aaron hotchner headcanons#aaron hotchner hc#aaron hotchner hcs#aaron hotchner fanfiction#aaron hotchner fanfic#aaron hotchner fic#aaron hotchner blurb#aaron hotchner drabble#aaron hotchner dialogue#aaron hotchner fluff#aaron hotchner x reader fanfiction#aaron hotchner smut
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SOMEONES JEALOUS!
summary: (Sakura, Suō, Kaji) when they’re jealous seeing you with another guy!
WIND BREAKER M.LIST | enjoy 🥀 -aria
ᡣ𐭩 ᡣ𐭩 ᡣ𐭩 ᡣ𐭩 ᡣ𐭩 ᡣ𐭩 ᡣ𐭩 ᡣ𐭩 ᡣ𐭩 ᡣ𐭩 ᡣ𐭩 ᡣ𐭩 ᡣ𐭩 ᡣ𐭩 ᡣ𐭩 ᡣ𐭩 ᡣ𐭩 ᡣ𐭩 ᡣ𐭩
Sakuras jealousy is a recurring issue. Once you’re his and he’s accepted that fact, he hates when anyone else gets more attention from you than he does. It makes him question everything, feels like he’s having a mid life crisis.
He sometimes get jealous of the way you interact with the other Bofurin boys as well. Is afraid you might think one of them is nicer than him, or that they could protect you better than he could. you constantly have to reassure him, which makes him feel even worse.
If he sees someone actively flirting with you right in front of him, he goes into fight or flight mode
Acts like you’re about to be murdered and his only way to save you is obnoxiously interjecting himself in the convo. “hahaha right MY PARTNER is soooo cool! you guys friends? Never heard of you before hahaha strange.” “Hey BABE, you seem to be having a lot of fun over here…WITHOUT ME.” The guy would just awkwardly walk away lol
Once he’s gone Sakura goes back to normal and tries to act like what he just did wasn’t borderline insane. “What do you mean? I was just talking to you how I always do.” Yeah suuuuure.
Just make sure he knows you love him and no one else. Appreciates when you include him in convos with strangers while you two are out, hates being left out of the loop.
Ren definitely feels like you are the light of his life, his sunshine on a cloudy day, the only pure thing about him, keeping him sane and at bay. Deep down he’s terrified that you’ll find someone more gentle than he is, someone less angry and tense all the time. So when something threatens to take you away, he gets rather aggressive
He prefers if you don’t see him that way. So anytime someone seems to be a little too flirty, or trying to get a little too close to you, he stalks his pray and waits it out. Once the interaction is over (you obviously rejected them), he’ll wait until you leave, head off to the bathroom, or just aren’t paying attention to shoot them the most devious glance imaginable.
Eyes of a killer as he bites down hard, cracking the candy in his mouth. sending them a signal of what might happen to them if they don’t back off. If you aren’t around, “you shouldn’t go for someone so far out of your league” “back off”.
Suo doesn’t tend to get jealous. He’s got you whipped (just as much as you have him) and he knows it. A confident king.
On the rare occasion he does feel threatened by another man, it’s usually by someone of his same stature, coy and nonchalant. It almost makes his blood boil to see someone teasing you the way he does just to see that cute flustered face.
Thinks its disrespectful for other men to bother you when they should already see how fruitless it is. In his head, someone like you is surely taken. (Though he still finds it hard to believe that he was the one who was able to take you)
He’s likes to let it go on for a little, wanting to see what tactics the guy might employ. He also wants to see the look on this persons face when they are inevitably rejected by you.
If they keep pestering you even after you’ve declined their advances, Suo will step in. “Hey darling, do you need my help here?” “How bold of you to assume you’d have a chance.” (He’s saying all of this with the most devious smile on his face, probably giggling too. Cheeky bastard.)
#sakura wind breaker#windbreaker headcanons#windbreaker anime#wind breaker#windbreaker manga#sakura haruka x reader#sakura haruka headcanons#suo hayato#suo hayato x reader#ren kaji#ren kaji x reader#ren kaji headcanons#kaji ren#hayato suo#sakura haruka#wind breaker x reader#wind breaker x you#wind breaker x y/n
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Bare with me this is my first request. Imagine reader (Slytherin if you don't mind) is walking and bumps into the boys they try to pick on her but can't and ends up with her making a joke about Mattheo having a small penis, and he loves that she's able to shut him up even tho it's childish. Long story short he's like "It's not even small" and she's like "Prove it" and so hate sex.
Drink water, take a nap and overall take care ilysm! ✨
Thank you so much! I have been taking care of myself, I hope you all are too!
Brat
Mattheo Riddle x F!Reader
Warnings: cussing, oral(male receiving), unprotected sex, hate sex, brat taming lol
18+ Minors DNI!
“So you wanna repeat what you said earlier? What was it? ‘Tiny, limp-dick ass’?” Mattheo said as he had your hair in a makeshift ponytail, fucking into your mouth. You were in the prefect's bathroom, your knees digging into the hard tile as you held onto his thighs. “Won't repeat it now, slut?” He smiled down at you, and you moaned around his dick, trying to respond back. He pulled you off his cock. “What was that, princess?”
“You are such a dick. Also a pervert, getting off on me talking shit.” You said, wiping the spit off from your mouth.
“You got it all wrong, angel.” He said before pushing your mouth back onto his cock. “I like putting brats in their place. Since you wanna use your mouth to insult me, I'm putting it to better use.” You tried replying, but gagged on his cock instead. He pulled you off again to let you speak.
“Bite me.”
“Gladly.” He smiled and pulled you up to stand, not even hesitating before biting your neck.
“I fucking hate you.” You winced at the harsh bite, which he soothed with a swipe of his tongue.
“Do you, now? If I checked, your pussy wouldn't be all wet then?” He said before biting your neck again.
“Shut the fuck up.” You closed your eyes, your breath getting heavier.
“All bark, no bite, love.” He teased and turned you around, pushing your front onto the sink.
“You're lucky I didn't bite your dick.” You rolled your eyes.
“I knew you wouldn't. You want me to fuck you. Can't do that if you bite my dick, huh?” He said as he pulled down your panties. “I knew it. Fuck. You're all wet for me.” He dragged a finger through your folds.
“Can you shut up and fuck me already?” You whined, hips jolting at his touch.
“Can you quit whining?” He retorted but did start pushing into you. “Fucking tight, shit, princess.” He moaned with you. He didn't wait for you to adjust, thrusting in and out of you as you whimpered from the mix of pain and pleasure. “Can you fucking relax? You're squeezing me, you fucking slut.”
“You didn't prep me, dickwad.” You hissed.
“Always so bratty. Can't you just be grateful for what I give you?” He grabbed your hair to look in the mirror at him. “Just be good for once.”
“If it bothers you that much, I'll keep being a brat.” You said, closing your eyes so you don't look at him.
“If that's how you wanna play it.” He let go of your hair and wrapped his hand around your throat, squeezing the sides. “Might take a few sessions, but I'll break you.”
It was hard to reply with him choking you. Your eyes were rolling back as you felt lightheaded from it, only making the pleasure from him fucking you more intense.
“See, isn't that much better than fighting me? Just relax and cum on my cock, princess.” He said, bringing his free hand to your clit.
“Fuck.” You choked out, body trembling as your orgasm neared.
“Merlin, fuck, you're clenching me again. You're so close, angel. Just let go. Need to feel you cum.” He moaned, his thrusts losing its tempo as his own orgasm was close. “Cum on my cock like a good slut, come on.”
Your orgasm hit you and your legs nearly gave out as you cried out. He fucked you through it before pulling out and cumming on your ass and skirt.
“See, you can be a good girl for me?” He said, pressing a kiss to your hair before pulling your panties up.
Taglist:
@jeannie-beannie @yourenogoodforme @mixvchelle @helendeath @evaslytherpuff
@soaked4abby @hpnsfwaddict @mayamonroem @motherfing-stargirl @brittney-121
@dracoslovergirl @littlemadamred @mattheoriddlesbitch @acornacreacure @opheliamalfoy236
Let me know if you wanna be added!
#slytherin boys#slytherin boys x reader#slytherin boys smut#mattheo riddle x you#mattheo riddle smut#mattheo riddle x reader#mattheo riddle
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prompt: IKEA soap/reader fic. PART 1. tags: dubcon
-
You duck behind a stack of boxes when you hear Johnny come whistling into the warehouse.
He shouts your name out somewhere off on the other side of the warehouse, voice echoing through the building. You keep absolutely still, fingers clamped around the clipboard that’s pressed close to your chest. Even your breathing slows, open-mouthed so as to keep it almost soundless. It’s strategic. You’ve gotten good at making yourself invisible back here, practically melting into the stack of boxes.
A minute or two goes by with repeated calls of your name, echoing from different parts of the warehouse like Johnny’s making the rounds. Searching for you. He’s probably been looking around the store for ages, with his track record. Someone must have let it slip that you were assigned to inventory today instead of being out on the floor.
You only let out a sigh when it’s been long enough that any reasonable person might have given up on trying to find you in the loading dock.
“Hiding from someone?” a deep voice asks from behind you.
Your gut all but self-ejects. When you turn around, he’s standing there in the same bright blue shirt that you also wear. His is stretched tight across his chest though, like it’s a size too small. You wonder sometimes if it’s on purpose. It’s hard not to let your eyes wander, but by now you’ve trained yourself to keep your eyes level when speaking to Johnny.
“Nope,” you squeak. “Just…you know…counting. Counting boxes and…stacks.”
He laughs, loud enough to make you startle. It’s far too enthusiastic, like you told a particularly funny joke instead of stumbling over your words and you still don’t actually know if he finds you funny or not.
“Cool,” Johnny says, taking a step closer to you. The clipboard doesn’t feel sufficient enough to put any real distance between the two of you. “Thought I could maybe come hang out with ye back here. Dinnae want ye to feel lonely.”
“Nope, not lonely at all. Totally peachy. Actually glad I could catch a break from…everyone.” You take a step back.
He follows you, another step forward. “Aye, dinnae worry, I get what ye mean. Some of the others—” he whistles, “—right buggers. Glad to catch a break myself as well.”
A bead of sweat rolls down the back of your neck. “Aren’t you supposed to be…out in the front? I, uh, don’t want you to get in trouble with Jeff—”
“Ah, Jeff’s fine, kitty, dinnae worry about me,” Johnny coos, sounding pleased as punch. He takes you at face value instead of reading into the set of your jaw and the way you keep inching away from him as he gets closer to you, convinced that you genuinely in your heart care about whether he gets written up or not. “They fuckin’ love me, ye ken? Think he wants ta take me out for lunch tomorrow, but told him I’d only go if he invited ye as well.”
“Oh. That’s nice,” you whisper instead of screaming. You’re doing that a lot these days. Talking through the scream bubbling behind your front teeth.
“Would ye want ta then?” he asks, suddenly in your face, three quick steps bridging the gap between you in barely a second, hardly enough time for you to blink. You blink and it’s just Johnny, in startling definition. Thick eyebrows and scar across his chin, the bridge of his nose perfect like he’s never broken it before. “Grab some lunch with me?”
“I, uh…I brought my lunch from home.”
“It’s a’right, I’ll buy it for ye, hen. Dinnae need ta waste your money.” Sometimes when he talks to you, he gets like this, fervent and almost desperate. He seems only half aware of it. “Ye like that mediterranean place nearby, right? Seen ye go there once or twice; wanted ta tag along, but dinnae want ta alarm ye.”
“You saw me go there?” you repeat.
“Aye, happened ta glance out the window when ye were on your lunch break. Back before management changed my break time. Cheers for that as well because it was really startin’ ta bother me, ye ken? Not being able ta eat with my favourite coworker.”
You never know how to respond when Johnny lets on a bit too much about how he feels about you. Sometimes he slips up and it comes rushing out, a big spool of thread unwinding in front of you.
“Yeah, well…I don’t know about today but maybe…” you say, trailing off. There’s a danger in just brushing him off, you feel.
“Tomorrow then,” he decides, grin still splitting his face. “I’m no’ on the schedule, but I can drop by at your lunch break and go with ye. How’s that sound?”
“Well, you know…it sounds…” He’s close enough now that if you lean forward, you’ll faceplant in between his pecs. Despite everything, you have to slightly fight the urge. Sometimes you think it’d be easier if he weren’t so absurdly gorgeous. It doesn’t make any of his actions okay, it doesn’t excuse his behaviour just because he’s pretty, yet still he pulls you in somehow, magnetic. “It sounds—you know, actually, I think Jeff wanted to talk to me about something, so if you don’t mind—”
Johnny tries to say something, but you manage to duck around him and scurry off, disappearing into the stacks of boxes before pressing forward until you burst out the main doors out of the warehouse. It leads to a hall that goes towards the store, but you haul it to the women’s washroom instead. The one place he can’t follow you inside.
In the washroom, you can finally breathe. Resting your hands on either side of the sink, you look into the mirror where haggard eyes with deep circles underneath stare back at you.
You flinch when one of the toilets flush and the stall door opens, another coworker stepping out.
“Did I hear Johnny outside?” she asks, taking the sink beside you to wash her hands. You nod, still tongue tied. “He really follows you everywhere, huh?”
For a second, your shoulders relax. “God, I know, he’s always just hovering—”
She cuts you off, sighing dreamily. “You’re so lucky. He’s so hot, it’s unreal. I can’t believe he works here, like that’s insane. I’d kill to have him as obsessed with me as he is with you.”
“He’s—he’s not into me, he’s just…you know, he just hovers.”
The water shuts off. Your coworker shoots you a dubious look, almost mocking. “Yeah, alright. Sure. Not into you. Not like he hangs off your every word. You don’t have to be humble—we’re already jealous. It’s like rubbing it in when you pretend like it’s totally normal.”
You slump, defeated, when she leaves without drying her hands. It’s moot to try and commiserate with anyone. They don’t see him the way you do, not for who he is. Your coworkers love Johnny; you’ve seen someone genuinely fistpump after being scheduled with him.
They don’t see any of the weird shit though. They don’t see the way he insists on walking you to your car well into the evening after a closing shift together. They don’t notice the way Johnny laughs a little too hard and with too much vigour when someone calls him your shadow, his eyes just a little too bright and fervent.
They’re never around to see him ask if you want to sit on his lap while he shows you how to use the forklift in the backroom. They’ve never seen him beg management to let him take his breaks with you and doesn't let you have a moment of peace, just sits with you in the breakroom or follows you to your car when you say that you're going out for lunch.
Sometimes you look at him and think, this guy should not be in the Appliance section of a big box store. Johnny should be on the front cover of magazines, in commercials for toothpaste, acting in Hallmark movies, or maybe hand modelling for obscenely ornate watch companies that cost the equivalent of a mortgage—not handing out free samples of sliced cheese.
That was then.
It starts like this: an overeager sales associate who butts his way to the front of the line on your first day.
You think at first that you’re golden. It seems like a sweet deal—an easy enough job, maybe not what you went to school for, but still something to pass the time and not too backbreaking. Plus, the guy shaking your hand and chatting up a storm in front of you is making you melt inside. He’s easy on the eyes—all bright smiles, effortless charm, either just brushing or exactly six feet, and built. Broad shouldered and lean.
Johnny’s a model employee as well—knows the handbook inside and out, and shows you the ropes on your first day along with the assistant manager giving you a tour of the store, which is helpful because there’s at least three floors that you could easily get lost on. He walks elderly customers to their cars with their bags, shows up to work early for every shift, always with a smile and a positive attitude, and you find out early on that management loves him because of his frankly incredible sales record.
(And you get it too; you can’t imagine anyone looking into those gorgeous blue eyes and turning him down.)
He's also a spokesperson for the company in all of their internal training videos because he was hired through some “Jobs for Vets” program that they just rolled out. The guy can also stack things on a shelf like no one's business, products lined up with military precision (hence the ex-military status).
All in all, you can’t help feeling like for once in your life, you didn’t draw the short stick.
Then one day, you’re alone with Johnny in the breakroom early in the morning before the store has opened yet and he turns to you with a wide, boyish grin and says apropos of nothing, “Named my fleshlight after you.”
You think your brain skips a couple tracks like a record player. You rewind and replay what was just said to you. There’s no two ways about it—you must have misheard him. Of course you did because surely your coworker of two months didn’t just look you in the eyes and say with a sweet sunshine smile that he named his sex toy after you.
He doesn’t laugh, just stands there and smiles while stirring sugar into his coffee. He takes it black. You take note of that because the brain still has to work when the mind shuts down momentarily, so you use it instead to catalogue things around the breakroom. One of the motivational posters hanging near the door is hung a bit off-centre. The fluorescent lightbulb on the far side of the room is dimmer than the others. Johnny’s eyes have a little light spot in them like the tip of an ocean wave.
“Excuse me?” you ask, dumbfounded. Your voice sounds hollow even to you.
“I named her after ye,” he repeats, not a trace of shame in his voice. “Used ta not have a name at all, but figured since I say it so much when I’m enjoyin’ her, she might as well share it with ya.”
He stares at you after saying that, letting it hang in the air. Your brain chooses that moment to come back online and all it can do is load that image of Johnny home alone with his fleshlight, toes curled in his sheets and the muscles of his legs straining as he moans your name. All you can do is give a little awkward laugh, growing more uncomfortable by the second the longer he stares at you without blinking.
Then, something passes over his eyes and suddenly he's back to normal, laughing and clapping you on the arm before wandering off to the men's apparel section.
It leaves you reeling for the rest of the day, sure you imagined it. It recontextualizes a few things for you though. He’s always been on the handsy side, verging on inappropriate, but skirting just enough around the edges of it that you usually brush off Johnny’s weird behaviour. Chalk it up to annoying little brotherly tendencies. You know he has a few older sisters anyway; you figured it was just how he related to women in his environment.
Not so.
It escalates after that initial escalation. Not that things started off on an appropriate note, but at least before you could rationalize most of his quirks.
Now it’s this: his hand on your lower back during work hours when you’re busy helping a customer and he sidles up next to you, pinkie brushing so low on your back that you worry for a second that he might slip it down the back of your pants. Lifting you up by the hips whenever you have a hard time reaching something on a shelf instead of just reaching up and grabbing it for you. A complete misuse of his height. He digs his fingers into your sides and never lets you go right away when he puts you down.
“Aw shit, bonnie,” he coos when you complain about it hurting you. “Dinnae mean ta hurt ye. Want me to give ye a little massage in the breakroom?”
You learn quickly that there’s no point in complaining about his behaviour to anyone. You can't complain to any of your coworkers because the second you so much as criticize his work, they bark at you to be nice to him. He's just re-acclimating to civilian life, of course he's not perfect at his job yet, they say. They defend him almost viciously; the real jealous ones even tell on you in front of him, leaving you to stand there embarrassed and on the spot until Johnny just smiles and says that it's alright. That you'll just have to teach him better.
There’s not much you can do besides grin and bear it. You can hope one day that you'll get transferred; you don't have much hope for him being transferred. Not with how endeared he is to management.
When you finally open the door, ready to leave the bathroom and get back to work, you nearly scream when Johnny lurches off the wall across from the bathroom door where he’s been leaning. Waiting for you.
“C’mon, hen,” he says, all teeth. “Lemme walk ye back ta work.”
#ceil writing#cod mw2#cod x reader#soap x reader#john soap mactavish#soap x you#soap/reader#ikea soap#john mactavish#soap mw2#soap mactavish#soap cod
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— in which they slowly find themselves enamored by the natural charms of their interviewer
feat. itoshi rin, nagi seishiro, itoshi sae
cw + tw. nothing much just fluff, fem!reader, interviewer/reporter!reader, aged-up!characters, characters are professional athletes and continue playing in their teams from the neo egoist league (except sae)
notes. first time posting blue lock so apologies if anyone’s ooc, either way i might make a follow-up of this (that might be more uh ya know) and/or add characters
ITOSHI RIN
the sound that follows the harsh slam of his locker is a frustrating sigh that has been simmering in rin’s chest since the end of today’s match. the match in which he had lost—and at the hands of isagi’s team which makes the defeat all the more bitter and disgusting on his tongue. it didn’t help that during the game, he was butting heads with his supposed teammate, shidou. once the coach had decided to sub the eccentric player in, their styles began mixing like oil and water. as a result, their win was swooped up from under them.
pxg has been called to host a post-sport interview to review the match with reporters, but rin couldn’t care less to participate. instead, he’s the very last person to leave the locker rooms. his duffle bag is slung over his shoulder, steps ambling down the hallway.
whether he wins or loses, rin never bothers to attend these post-game interviews. he doesn’t need to sit there and have brash reporters shoot the same questions at him, expecting him to “thank his coach and teammates,” “praise his opponents for a great game today,” and say he’ll “continue to work hard to win next time.” gross. he’d rather be caught dead than have any of those words leave his mouth.
as rin navigates through the hallways of the stadium, he’s hoping to be done with the day and think over the turn of events on his own. but when he rounds the corner, he crosses eyes with someone so obviously lost in the facility—a mistake which punishes him as you immediately approach him with doe, bewildered eyes.
“sorry, i don’t mean to bother you, but i was wondering where the conference for pxg was being held,” you ask. a pad of notes are cradled in your arms, pen clipped to the breast pocket of your blazer. it’s clear you’re another reporter.
before he can point you in the right direction to get you out of his hair, you squint. you’re taking a long, hard look at him until your face suddenly glows. “wait, you’re itoshi rin, the striker for pxg!” you practically blurt. with the volume of your voice, rin’s instincts take hold, and he’s pulling you away from the open space of the hallway.
“quiet. you want everyone to hear?” rin chastises.
“whoops. i got a little excited! i-i’ve been wanting to interview pxg’s top player and well…” you could say the opportunity presented itself, but rin makes it clear he’s not interested.
“if you’re here just to hear me mope over my loss, then go home,” the striker affirms to what he thinks will be the last of this exchange until you tug on the sleeve of his jersey before he starts walking away. turning his head back to glance at you, his brow quirks.
“no, of course not! i thought it was incredible how you were able to keep control of the ball from your opponents and even score the first two points of the game all by yourself!” you exclaim, face lifting as it’s teeming with admiration. surprisingly, he can’t help but be a bit amused by the determined expression etched over the perplexed look that was originally on your features.
you swipe your pen hanging off your pocket, prompting it open with a click of your thumb. “and i’m sure a lot of your fans would love to hear from you!”
the athlete cocks his head. “you’re acting like a fan yourself, miss reporter.”
you blink in surprise. the enthusiasm in your words tones down, but you fail to mask it completely. “what? no, i’m just here to get the exclusive on the best athletes of our country!” if your plan is to butter him up to get a word out of him, it may almost work. you send him another fawning look as if to say “can you blame me though?” and that stirs a low chuckle from his throat.
his face lowers until it’s slightly more leveled with your own, and from this angle, you’re amazed to find you can distinguish every distinct eyelash on his pretty face. and you’re even more enamored by the intense color of his teal eyes. at the proximity, however, your face bathes in the heat of the blood rushing to your cheeks. thankfully, the striker breaks eye contact in favor of taking the notepad from your arms, along with your pen which he uses to scribble something down.
“tell you what,” he says as he continues writing, “come to the next pxg match and i’ll give you an exclusive interview, right after i score at least four goals and decimate the other team.”
his declaration leaves you in awe, and your fascination persists when he hands your pen and pad back for you to see a ten digit number, followed by call my manager written next to it.
NAGI SEISHIRO
back when he was in school, nagi was never great at first impressions. and apparently that’s still the case even later on in his career as a professional striker.
he doesn’t even notice you enter the room as he’s preoccupied with tapping the controls for the first person shooter on his phone. as such, he’s woefully unprepared to hear the reluctant, but soft voice that vies for his attention.
“um, excuse me. if you don’t mind, i’d like to get started with the interview.”
taking a slow glimpse above his screen, he sees the refreshing sight of you—his interviewer—sitting across from him in your neat attire and a clipboard on your lap. surprised by the modest smile that greets him, he automatically straightens up and casts his phone to the side.
it’s a big contrast to what he was expecting. usually, scruffy men who claim they’re adept and knowledgeable in the sport would be shoving their mics in his face. when in reality those people are just washed up high school coaches or analysts who act all high and mighty by asking a bunch of nonsense questions. saying this and that about how they would have done it differently had they been in the game instead of him. regardless, they’re such a pain and nagi would rather be napping in his cloud mattress than go through another talk session with those wannabes. however, his encounter with you just might break this boring streak.
he rubs the back of his head sheepishly, playing off the crass first impression. “right. start whenever you want.”
once he gives you the go ahead, you flip through a few pages to your questions.
as time goes on, the sentiment nagi initially held about how the interview might have been a pain and a waste of his time in his already packed schedule begins to sway. throughout the inquiries, he finds himself fixated on you. like the flattering nude color touched up on your plush lips. or how you have a habit of playing with strands of your hair when contemplating on what question to ask next. or the cute laugh you let out that was pleasant to his ears when he gave a much more aloof answer than you were expecting.
well, he can’t change the fact that he doesn’t need to think much when it comes to football. that’s just how naturally talented he is—the sport is second nature to him. honestly, he’s a bit bummed out that he can’t give a competent interviewer like you better responses.
what catches the snowy haired striker slightly off-guard is your next topic of questions about his e-sport endorsements. he wasn’t expecting you to delve into his hobbies. most interviews always glossed over that area in favor of asking something along the lines of “what was going through your head when you made that winning goal,” to which he could only say he was too caught up in the moment to really convey the feelings into words.
but with this opportunity, nagi goes on a mild tangent about the new first person shooter he’s been playing. even if his tone sounds indifferent on the surface, you don’t miss the hidden enthusiasm under the brighter twinkle of his eyes. you giggle which makes nagi pause.
“did i say something weird?” he asks back. you swear you detect a tonal whine in his voice, another endearing trait you didn’t know a 190 cm striker could possess.
“no.. just find it cute how much you can talk about your favorite games like that.”
nagi can’t tell whether the grin on your pretty lips is there to tease him or that you find his boyish charms endearing. either way, his cheeks puff and that only serves to make him more adorable in your eyes.
“well don’t let me stop you! i’d like to hear more about what things interest you other than soccer.” the look on your face fascinates him. you’re not even looking at your clipboard anymore, but right at him. it’s the tell-tale sign of someone who genuinely wants to know him not as the star player of manshine city, but just as regular nagi seishiro. he’s not used to that sort of treatment and as a result, he can’t meet your eyes, not realizing he flushes a lovely shade of pink that reaches the tips of his ears.
nagi pouts, glancing down at his phone that’s been laying near his thigh, untouched for a record of what must be ages, but that honestly doesn’t feel long enough to him. “no fair… you’re just teasing me…” he murmurs, but his fingers are already itching to ask his manager if he can extend the interview to spend more time with you.
ITOSHI SAE
the first opportunity you get to interview the itoshi sae is unconventional, to say the least.
“excuse me! please let me through–!”
“miss, you can’t be here– hey!”
the setting is chaotic, to the point where sae can make out the commotion in the background as he’s walking toward his rest area with his manager and bodyguard following beside him. when he glimpses at what all the fuss is about, he witnesses security personnel wrangle with a stray reporter.
spotting the reddish haired athlete, you find an opportunity to call out to him. “itoshi sae, please, may i have a word with you?”
to your dismay, security persistently blocks your view of the midfielder. despite being obstructed by a pair of burly men almost twice your size, you give them more of a struggle as you thrash around, even reprimanding them to “keep their hands to themselves if they know what’s good for them.” sae can’t help but be amused. a part of him finds your efforts admirable—watching you scrunch up your uniform and crease your notes at just a chance to speak with him.
“mister itoshi is far too busy to entertain any more of you today. please make your way to the exit–”
“it’s fine,” sae interjects to everyone’s surprise—mostly to the utter astonishment of you and his manager. the latter’s eyes widen scrupulously before he cups his hand next to the pro athlete’s ear.
“sir, i believe we’ll be running late to your next scheduled event if you decide to do a last minute interview,” the manager warns warily. “besides, haven’t you talked to enough of the media today? i mean look at her, she doesn’t even seem worth your time–”
“push everything back thirty minutes if you have to.”
his manager gawks. “but..?!”
one side-eye of sae’s piercing ocean eyes is enough for the man to retract his statement and mumble his apologies. that said and done, the security guards withdraw to let you through. you’re astonished by how much the situation can flip with the cooperation of a renown professional.
sae’s staff lead you into his spacious break room, preparing a set of chairs and leaving glasses of water on the coffee table before you start. having already taken his seat, he watches you run your hands through the wrinkled material of your blouse and pencil skirt. after finally fixing your stray hairs in place, you sit in front of him in all your pristine as if the whole conflict from earlier never happened. he wants to give you another point for professionalism.
“once again, thank you so much for granting me the opportunity to speak to you today,” you beam, mocking his manager hovering in the background with your unbeknownst-to-sae sly little smile.
sae grins, charmed. you arrange your notes one last time before moving onto your questions.
during the interview, sae comes to know your professionalism isn’t merely for show. you’ve done your research, analyzed his plays—his techniques, and as a result, ask him the most intriguing inquiries he’s sure no reporters asked him before. and he’s had his fair share of interviews throughout his developing career as a child prodigy. it’s evident you weren’t planning to waste his time and he’s appreciative of that fact.
there’s also an air of zeal you possess that allures him. he can’t exactly pinpoint what it is. your ingenuity? your liveliness? either way, he can’t imagine this to be his last interaction with you, and he makes sure that won’t be the case.
at just a simple snap of his finger, his manager is at his side. you have to hold in a snicker at how the man scurries over to the midfielder like a dog.
the two exchange a few words you don’t catch, only deciphering the dumbfounded look on the manager’s face which clashes with the stoic expression on sae’s. whatever the conversation was about, the former knows it’s a losing battle. at his loss, he pulls out a lanyard from the compartment attached to his clipboard. he gives it to sae, who takes it and leans across the space between you two to place it in your awaiting hands, as if you already knew from the manager’s defeated mannerisms that it was meant to be yours.
“this is..?” you begin inquiring as you eye the card on the lanyard methodically.
sae beats you to your discovery of that answer. “an exclusive press pass, which you can use to reach out to me again following any matches i’ve played in.”
mouth hanging open, you switch back and forth between the pass and sae’s marine eyes which don’t hold a shred of doubt.
he puts it simply.
“i’d like to continue this interview with you again.”
copyright 2023 shotoh, all rights reserved. i do not allow my creations to be published or translated anywhere else so please do not repost this or share my content on tiktok.
#blue lock x reader#bllk x reader#bllk imagines#rin x reader#sae x reader#nagi x reader#blue lock fluff#bllk fluff#rin fluff#rin itoshi x reader#blue lock x you#nagi fluff#sae fluff#blue lock headcanons#sae itoshi x reader#nagi seishiro x reader
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Oh my gosh!!! Don’t date coworkers was so cute!!! Would you be willing to do one similar with Hotch? <3
It shouldn’t bother him.
Aaron thinks of himself as someone who adores professional candor, and wishes that his team possessed it in spades. It’s not as though she is professional in almost any other aspect. She excels in personality, and if he had any shame, it would be harder for Aaron to admit what an actual delight she is to his daily life.
She’s kind, in a way that he’s found is rare in this world. Asks about Jack, remembers what coursework he’s struggling in and remembers to ask. She knows his coffee order, which she ascertained from reading the cup. He’s quite fond of her. David is always telling him that life is short and that any girl would be lucky to date him. In less polite terms.
She’s beautiful.
She’s all soft smiles and warm disposition, and she’s easy to like. She’s always the first to anticipate your needs, and Aaron can picture how he’d slot into her life, a part of him can see what it would be like to pick her up in his lavish car and drive her to the office, spend the weekends basking in her company. He’d be a good partner- he’d known how, once, and he’d try for her.
She doesn’t date people she works with.
The fantasy has gone too far in many ways- a version of life in his mind that lingers. She has morning ritual, and he knows it’s a little creepy he watches it from the perch of his office. She pins her hair up and puts on a coat of her lipstick, before she inevitably forgets she’s wearing it, and leaves a lip-print on her cup. It’s hard not to imagine it with her sat on his kitchen counter.
But he knows this is a boundary of hers- and even though it’s just in his fantasies, it feels…well, wrong to fantasize about her like that. He’d heard her loud and clear, telling officer Berbrook that she makes a point not to date anyone in the Bureau. It’s arrogant to think he’d be an exception.
This morning, she’s earlier than he’s ever seen her in the office. She’s got big, wraparound headphones and a skirt on, and two cups. She’d gotten him coffee. He might burst. He speaks out her last name when she realizes he’s in the room, and internally, a warmth blooms in his chest at the wide open smile she grants him.
“Hi, you!”
“You’re in early.”
“Mm,” she says, her mouth still full of coffee, endearingly eager, “I know, but that coffee shop you love had fritters, and I thought you’d like one.”
Off limits. He feels his eyebrows scrunch into a frown before he speaks.
“You didn’t have to do that.
“No one has to do anything. I wanted to. There’s two in there, one for Jack. They keep well.”
A completely ridiculously short amount of time passes before he’s able to speak again, or more accurately as Garcia would put it, word-vomit.
“I heard officer Berbrook asked you out. That is absolutely inappropriate- would you like me to handle it?”
“Nah,” she says back, “It’s all good.”
“Morgan told me that you have a policy of never dating anyone you work with-“
“I said that about Berbrook, Hotch. It’s not like, an off-limits thing.” She looks down at her feet. Her shoes are green, Aaron notices, helplessly endeared, “y’know, with the right person…I wouldn’t want to close that door, do you know what I mean?”
Her doe eyes peer up at him, and he knows that she’s hear 30 minutes before anyone else is just to be able to get him food, telling him that she’s open to dating coworkers, and once upon a time he could’ve taken a fucking hint.
In his younger years, when he was bolder and better able to ask for the things he wants, he might’ve asked her out right then. Might have run him and made a dinner reservation, somewhere with candle-light for an evening that would end with her being kissed against a wall or a car.
But for now, he takes a bite of his fritter and makes some plans. If he’s got a shot with her, that’s a revelation that’s going to need some intense planning and preparing for. He’d like to woo her, if that’s something he could ever get to do.
“Good fritter.”
“I know, right?”
#aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner fanfiction#aaron hotchner x you#aaron hotchner x y/n#aaron hotchner fanfic#aaron hotchner one shot#aaron hotchner fic#aaron hotchner oneshot#aaron hotchner imagine#aaron hotchner imagines#aaron hotchner blurb#aaron hotchner blurbs#aaron hotch hotchner#aaron hotch x reader#aaron hotch imagine#aaron hotch fanfiction#aaron hotch x you#aaron hotch fluff#aaron hotchner fluff#aaron hotch fic#hotch#hotch x reader#hotch x you#aaron hotchner x fem!reader#ssa aaron hotchner#agent hotchner#criminal minds#criminal minds fic
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What the cat dragged in
Pairing: Lee Know x reader (afab, she/her)
Genre: smut, angst, strangers-to-lovers (kinda); 5+1
Summary: You followed Minho home because you had nowhere else to go. Then you kept following... all the way into his heart, but not his bed.
aka five times you and Minho don't fuck and one time you do.
Content: reader is 16yo in the first section (nothing sexual or romantic happens but there are suggestions of it), couple of references to human/sex trafficking; the gang are useless crime idiots but this is only barely relevant; interrupted foreplay; attempted car sex; unprotected piv sex; fingering; a lot of kissing tbh
Word count: 13.5k
A/N: SO this whole thing actually started HERE in JUNE (jfc, I thought I'd been thinking about this since like, October or something but, no no, a full ten months!!!!). It has drifted from that somewhat but that was its beginning and, honestly, I'm kind of stoked about this fic. I really like how it came out and it's my FIRST MINHO. It's taken me SO long to get around to my bestest evil catdad.
Huge thanks to @violetsiren90 for beta-ing! and also for reading it half-finished when I really needed some encouragment. AND for the title
*~*~*
FIRST
“Why don’t you fuck off?”
The voice came from behind you. It was low and cold and threatening. It was directed at Shindong, the man in front of you, whom you were sure was this close to offering to take you home. You whipped around to see who had uttered it.
Your immediate thought was that he was too short and too slight to be walking up with that level of aggression. Your second thought was interrupted by the spark that shot up your arm when he grabbed your hand. You’d have pulled it back, but his grip was solid and your arm didn’t budge.
“What the fuck do you want, Minho?” your companion replied, all the charm sliding off his face, replaced with a loathing, arrogant sneer.
“I want you to fuck off.”
“She yours? Might want to keep a closer eye on her; she was just about to come home with me.”
The stranger’s hand squeezed yours, so hard it started to hurt. He offered nothing in response.
Both men continued to stare at each other. Shindong had inches on Minho – both height and breadth – and you couldn’t believe your eyes when you saw him hesitating. He flicked his eyes between you and Minho.
“What if I want to fight you for her?”
“What if I told you she’s not legal?”
Shindong hesitated, moved just a fraction backwards, no longer leaning in, looming over the two of you. He rolled his eyes and gave a heartless chuckle.
“Not worth the fucking bother,” he muttered as he walked away.
Minho, still a stranger to you, still holding your hand, who hadn’t even looked your way, pulled you sharply by said hand, storming off and taking you with him. You followed him into one of the warehouse’s many dark corners. He kicked out the couple who were two clothing items shy of a citation for public indecency, and only then did he let you go. Only then did he turn his dark, flaming eyes on you.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” you asked.
Shindong had been your lifeline. What did this guy think he was playing at?
Your vehemence took him off-guard, surprise flashing across his face, until his scowl returned, worse than before. You understood now why he made Shindong hesitate. His gaze was fierce, penetrating, his jaw set, his mouth a taut, grim line. You would never show your hand to anyone, but a cold droplet of fear slithered down your spine. You straightened it, rolled your shoulders back, lifted your head. You wouldn’t let him intimidate you.
“Do you know him?” he asked, voice still low, still threatening.
Not personally. Not until that evening. But people like him came with a reputation that preceded them. A reputation that you were relying upon being based in fact. A reputation that had spread all around your school and beyond, but that you had heard from a source close to the truth. It was close enough that you were able to find him here, in a part of town you’d never been to. It was close enough that you were able to pick Shindong out from this crowd. Close enough that when you approached him and he laughed at you – young, naïve, foolish, all of those things you were sure he thought – you were able to drop his cousin’s name and he suddenly took you seriously. That was what you had been hoping for. A connection was all you needed to keep you covered for a night, at least. Just one would be something.
And then this guy showed up.
“I was about to.”
Minho’s top lip curled, just a fraction, his nose barely wrinkling with the movement, but you got his meaning. Disgust. He could be as disgusted as he liked; that wasn’t your problem. Your problem was that his disgust had led him to chase away your only lead.
Or was he? Was Shindong your only option?
You changed tack. Realised that maybe you had another now. Minho, whoever the fuck he was, had approached you as if he knew you and scared off the competition. That must have been it. Despite the way he glowered at you, absolutely no interest or desire lurking behind his dark eyes, you figured you had nothing left to lose.
You relaxed a little, pouted your lips, played up to the damsel in distress he might have thought you were.
“But if he’s so awful, I guess I can only thank you,” you said, making your voice soft, your eyes a little wider. You lifted your lips in a tiny, shy smile and then put a hand to them, your thumb and index finger tugging a little on your bottom lip, hoping it made you look small, nervous, sweet.
He gave you no reaction. He continued to glare, his stance unchanged, unmoving. So you moved. You stepped towards him: shy, little bird steps, until you were so close that he moved backwards.
“Thanks for looking out for me. Your name’s Minho, right?”
His eyes tightened minutely. He didn’t reply.
“I’d like to thank you properly,” you said, sliding your body into his, pressing just one finger against his chest. You fluttered your lashes up at him.
His face changed immediately. Eyes wide, mouth dropping, and he was stumbling backwards, pressing himself against the wall.
“What the fuck are you doing? What are you, fifteen?”
Embarrassment licked your cheeks like flames and your scowl returned.
“I’m sixteen!”
“Wow, big age. My mistake. By all means, let’s fuck, Sixteen.”
His sarcasm was biting but you hadn’t given yourself up yet.
“Don’t you want to?” you asked, innocently. “You must have sent Shindong away for a reason. If not this, then what?”
He let out a sigh so aggrieved it was almost a shout. He rolled his eyes.
“Jesus Christ, where are your parents?” he asked, but it was muttered, almost under his breath and you didn’t know if you were supposed to answer. You did anyway.
“Dead.”
His lack of reaction grated. He didn’t flinch. There was no surprise, no guilt on his face. He had robbed you of Shindong and now he had robbed you of your fun: getting a reaction out of people as a poor, orphaned, little Annie was as close as you got these days. Then again, he wasn’t a well-meaning aunt or nosy teacher. He knew what this place was; he knew, or at least knew of, Shindong. Maybe your hand-grenade was, here, little more than a snap.
“And this is your great life plan? Offering sexual favours to predators?”
He gestured widely to the room behind you, and you could only assume he did not mean to include himself in that group.
Actually, it was your plan. Kind of… Insofar as you had any sort of plan at all. You would not be telling him that. You kept your mouth shut tight and jaw clenched, refusing to look down, to be the one to break the eye contact.
“You know he’s a fucking bad guy,” he said, more softly than he had said anything so far but the hard edge remained.
“And what are you, my hero?”
“Absolutely fucking not. I do not want to have anything to do with whatever mess you are making of your life, but I’m not about to let that cunt take off with a child.”
“I am not a child!” you shouted, right in his face.
He took it, impassive, unimpressed even.
“That’s exactly what a child would say.”
You wanted to hit him. You wanted to smash him in his beautifully sharp jaw, or break that perfect, delicate nose of his. You were just about not stupid enough to try. How did he even know you were young? You knew you didn’t look it; you were always getting told you looked older than you were. How did he know? Why did he care?
“Go on then,” you said, darkly. “Leave. If I’m not your fucking problem, why don’t you fuck off?”
He didn’t answer, but he didn’t move.
“Worried I’ll get murdered?”
You lifted your hands to your open mouth, eyes widened, a mockery of fear.
His face and tone were flat when he responded.
“There are things worse than death.”
Then he pushed past you and out of the door.
You took one shaky breath and walked after him before you could talk yourself out of it. You decided that, one way or another, this guy owed you and it was time to collect.
You followed him, not too closely, but not exactly hiding it, for over a mile. You wondered, at one point, if he was trying to lose you, if he was actually heading to his destination or just trying to outlast you. You’d show him. You were a long-distance runner at school; you were extremely confident you could keep up.
So confident, in fact, so determined were you not to lose him, that you were too slow to notice him slowing, to notice him stopping, to very nearly not stop yourself walking into him.
“What the fuck are you doing?” he asked, not turning to look at you.
“I’m walking here.”
“Stop following me.”
“I’m not following you.”
He raised his eyes skyward. He stood for a moment and you stood, too, waiting for him to continue – walking or talking, you didn’t know which. He finally turned around and looked at you, everything about him a little softer than before. Not soft, but softer.
“You can’t follow me,” he told you slowly, emphatically. “I am not looking after you. I am not your fath-“
“I don’t have a fucking father.”
He scoffed.
“Yeah, that much is very clear, Sixteen.”
“I’m not sixteen!”
He frowned.
“That’s what you told me.”
“That’s not my fucking name! Stop saying it like I’m a child. How old are you anyway?”
“Old enough to know better.”
“What does that mean?”
“Go home, Sixteen.”
“I don’t have a home.”
“Well you can’t have mine.”
He turned on his heel and continued walking, a little faster this time, increasing his pace to a jog as he crossed the road. You knew he hoped you wouldn’t be able to follow, that the flashing green man would disappear before you could make it, but you’d been underestimated before.
After another mile or so, you saw him take his phone from his pocket and put it to his ear. You couldn’t quite hear what he was saying but you thought it sounded like Japanese. Was he Japanese?
It hadn’t missed you, the knowledge that you had no knowledge of this man. You understood that you were, as far as you knew, in as much danger following him home as you had been going with Shindong. But you literally had no other options. It was follow this guy somewhere or wander around on the street all night; it was too cold to stay out. You hadn’t thought beyond that when you’d left your house earlier that day. Hadn’t thought much at all, except about getting out.
Now you were out. Mission accomplished. And you had no idea what to do next.
You almost missed him ducking into a narrow side street, but you caught the door he rushed through just before it shut. He disappeared from view through another door, off to the left of the dingy, dimly lit corridor you found yourself in. You stalked up to it – it wasn’t even fully closed – but something made you hesitate.
Suddenly the fear that you had been suppressing all night raised its head. Was this a lion’s den? A serpents’ nest? Was Minho playing some kind of long game, saving you from Shindong so you would trust him, so you would follow him here, so he could…?
“Are you going to fucking stand out there all night?” you heard a voice call from inside. It had to be Minho’s but you wouldn’t have bet on it.
You fixed your face, your scowl reappearing, and kicked the door open with excessive force.
It was just a bar. Just him, sitting on a stool with a beer in his hand, and one other guy, standing opposite, looking at you with his eyebrows raised in the way a parent does when they catch their child doing something naughty.
“You break that door, I’m going to make you pay for it,” he said, in an accent that you knew wasn’t local.
And, just like a defiant child, you slammed it shut without breaking eye contact. He turned to Minho.
“Thanks, man. You had to bring home a fucking streetrat.”
“I am not a streetrat,” you spat.
“No?” Minho chimed in. “Then where’s your home?”
“Fuck off.”
“I really wish you would.”
You sat down in a booth just off to your left and stared him down.
“She can’t stay here,” the stranger said to Minho, as if you were no longer there.
“I didn’t bring her; she just came.”
He, the newest stranger, looked between you and Minho for several seconds. He was looking at Minho when he spoke again.
“One night. That’s it. And she’s your responsibility.”
He heaved a box full of empty glass bottles into his arms and wandered away, through a different door, mumbling something about ‘strays’.
“Who was that?” you demanded as Minho continued to sip at his beer.
You realised that you hadn’t actually been introduced to him either. And he hadn’t asked for your name. You wondered if he would now.
“None of your fucking business,” he answered, finally moving from the stool to walk behind the bar.
He opened the cash register and took bags from a cubby just below it. He produced a tiny pencil from his pocket and tore off a strip of the receipt roll. He took out the cash and started to count. You watched his lips move silently as he flicked quickly through the notes, pausing to drop a stack onto the bar and write a number down. He picked up the next stack and repeated.
“Don’t even think about it,” he warned, not looking up, not even, apparently, pausing in his counting. “Even if you got your urchin mitts on it, you wouldn’t make it to the door.”
You believed him, but you weren’t planning some kind of move. You didn’t need his money. You were just watching.
You watched until all the notes and all the coins were accounted for, until they had been put into bags and those bags into a box and Minho turned to follow his friend. You stood from your seat and went after him.
There were two doors, you realised. Minho took the left. It led to an office. The other guy must’ve taken the right because the room was empty except for furniture and, in the corner, a safe. Minho dumped the box before it and turned to you.
“Turn around.”
“Worried I’ll crack the code?” you asked with your eyes rolling back in your head.
“Just turn around.”
You did as you were told without a fight because, at that point, there was nowhere else to go. You couldn’t admit defeat and walk out of there; you weren’t sure that Minho wouldn’t make you do just that. It was a knife-edge, being the obnoxious, vile brat that you were. You’d stormed past boundaries before but, well, look where it got you. You were tired and worried enough now to decide you would stop pushing your luck. It had been stretched far enough already.
There was a second of silence before you heard the beeping of the buttons pressed and the shuffling of bags, the clink of coins, the thunk of a bigger, metallic something against the walls of the safe. He didn’t tell you when he was finished, didn’t say you could turn back around. He just walked past you, out of the office, turning the light off as he went. As soon as you were out of the door, he shut and locked it.
You followed him back to the bar and he did the same thing: turned off the lights and held a door for you (not politely, not because he was being nice), following you through it and locking this one behind him, too. You walked to the end of the corridor and he gestured you down some wooden stairs that creaked as if they would break under your weight. He turned the corridor light off, too, and locked the door at the top of the steps.
This was it. You were locked in. There were at least two locks between you and escape. When Minho shoved past you to the left and opened yet another door, your stomach sank a little further. Three locked doors. He didn’t hold this one for you but he didn’t slam it in your face either, so you rolled your shoulders back, put on your game face and walked through.
You almost regretted it when you saw where it led. It was possibly the worst place you had ever seen. It wasn’t messy, but there was something dirty about the room anyway. Outdoor furniture inside; everything vaguely brown in a way that you didn’t think it had been fresh out of the box; everything tired and worn and sagging; the naked lightbulb dim and humming as it shone; the fridge, scratched and dented and shoved into a corner, also hummed, managing to sound as well as look tired. It was bleak. It was grey. It made you feel like things were crawling on you and you’d only just stepped foot in it.
You half expected your feet to stick to the floor when you took a few steps forward. They didn’t but the carpet was so old and worn that you had no idea what colour it was originally; in places, you could see the floorboards clearly through the threads.
Minho pointed to the sofa.
“There,” was all he said.
Then he disappeared out of the room. You gingerly sat on the edge, wondering if you should be more concerned about your health or your safety. Maybe you were sheltered here, but you pictured a thousand and one diseases squirming on the cushions. It wasn’t fair to, because you could see that it was cleaned. The room wasn’t filthy; there were no crumbs or water rings on the coffee table; there was no rubbish littering the floor; the sink was empty and a stack of plates and bowls stood beside it, washed if not yet dried. Minho was clearly diligent.
Minho and whoever else lived here. There were too many doors leading off this room for him to be here alone.
Your curiosity was stopped in its tracks when he reappeared with a pillow and a towel. He threw the pillow wordlessly at one end of the sofa and then he raised the towel a little.
“I don’t have any blankets. Don’t get cold.”
You scoffed a laugh and were grateful that he ignored it. You weren’t indignant; you weren’t being a brat this time. You were dismayed. You couldn’t believe it. A house with no spare blankets. You were going to sleep under a towel. You glanced around you for a final time, tears pricking in your eyes, fingers at your lips, picking nervously. You weren’t going to die here, you told yourself. Probably. You were probably not going to die here and that was all you needed.
You stood up, turned off the light, tested the door handle (not sure if you wanted it to be locked or unlocked), then returned to the sofa. You took off your shoes, took your bag from your back and hugged it tightly to your chest. You lay in the dark, in a stranger’s horrible house, alone, tired, more vulnerable than you would ever admit. You cried silently, reluctantly grateful for the towel, until you fell asleep.
SECOND
“Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to everyone! Happy birthday to you!”
You only got one birthday a year. The whole group of you. There wasn’t enough to stretch to everyone getting an individual birthday, an individual cake, a day off. So the middle day of the year, 2nd July, was chosen and you all had a birthday together.
One cake, one candle each, six people blowing them out. Most unsanitary, but, by now, there wasn’t much you hadn’t shared so a little spit didn’t even register.
You were too drunk by far, which was stupid really. It wasn’t even your first time drinking legally (because your real birthday wasn’t until later in the year), so there was no reason for you to behave as if you had never had a drink before. You should have learnt a little self-control.
But it was your birthdays. So you kept having one more and one more and one more. As did everyone else.
“Nineteen!” Minho called as he fell into the booth next to you.
“I thought I was Sixteen?”
He shrugged.
“You do still act like it.”
You shoved him, almost hard enough to push him off his seat completely. He shoved you back.
“Shut up, Minnie.”
He narrowed his eyes at you, plotting death for using the nickname he loathed above all others, and you sent a simpering smile back at him.
“You’re a little squirt, anyone ever tell you that?”
You rolled your eyes.
“You, literally all the time, because you are for some reason desperate to sound like the oldest grandpa in the room.”
He let out a growling sort of cry, dramatic because he’d also had too much to drink. Then he stood.
“BYE, Sixteen!”
If someone didn’t know the two of you, it would seem as if nothing had changed in the time since you met: both antagonistic, unlikable, as hard as you could make yourselves, forced together and barely tolerating it.
Those who did know you, however, knew that things were very different now. Minho had, reluctantly, taken responsibility for you and, when you had grown up just enough to realise what that had meant, you felt all your hard resolve melt.
They had very little, this ragtag bunch of kids (barely older than you) but they shared everything between them. Never quite enough to go around, money from legitimate enterprises never stretching far enough and having to be supported by money from less than legitimate means. You were a liability. In every sense. The only girl, a stranger, certainly not (at that time) a criminal. But Minho took responsibility and the others let you in.
When you had learnt to see past your own nose, you saw the myriad ways in which they took care of each other. The silent, invisible way Minho cared for his friends. For you. You hadn’t forgotten the sting of electricity you’d felt when he held your hand way back when. Before you’d even seen him, before you knew his name, before any of this. You felt it all the time now. You were a live wire for him.
No one in the group was stupid enough to refer to you as siblings or even joke that you acted like them. Your feelings for Minho were your most closely guarded secret but that didn’t mean everyone didn’t know. You were pretty sure even Minho himself knew. Not that he would ever act on it. He pretended not to notice, you thought. You had pushed close to the edge of being kicked out enough times to know that some things were still precarious. To know that he would never risk his weird family by acknowledging there was anything more than friendship between you. If it even was between you. He had given you very little reason to believe your feelings were reciprocated. So you did your best to ignore them.
They became a fact of life. Like the fact that Minho was the only one Chan trusted to count the cash (not because the others weren’t trustworthy; they just weren’t accurate). Like the fact that Chan had the final say on everything. Like the fact that he would never abuse that authority and act for anything other than the wellbeing of the entire group. It just was.
And it wasn’t like you were stupid enough to pine. You had some pride. Plenty, in fact.
You stood from the booth and sauntered to the bar where your sometime-boyfriend, Johnny, was getting another drink.
“Babe,” you whined, draping yourself over his back, hooking your chin over his shoulder.
“Babe,” he whined back, copying, mocking.
“Entertain me, I’m bored.”
“It’s your party.”
You pouted and forced him to join you on the makeshift dancefloor. You refused to notice that Minho left it as soon as you joined, his face dropping, looking only at Johnny and never once pleased about it.
*
Chan had cut off the booze supply hours ago and the sun was thinking about raising its head above the horizon, which meant that, far from being wasted and happy and giddy and passing out in your bed, your hangover was already crawling in and you were tired and irritable. Johnny had pissed you off sometime before the booze dried up and then pissed off entirely before you’d begun to sober up, so you’d spent the smallest hours of the morning making your bad mood everyone else’s problem.
Everyone except Minho. Because whilst you were always determined, at these moments, to needle him, to want to get under his skin, to want to scrape it back and spit on it, he was never there. He managed to avoid your venom and, even when he didn’t, seemed immune. He would just slow-blink at you as if he were looking through you and turn away. It boiled your blood and he knew it.
You stomped downstairs to the same shithole basement you’d walked into two years ago. Everyone else had either left or gone to bed already, you thought. You expected it to be empty. It wasn’t.
“Fuck sake, Mouse,” you spat, using your usual nickname, his preferred one (… preferred being too strong a term; it was the one he allowed you to use without retaliation). “Why are you sitting on your own like a fucking loser?”
“You know he treats you like a fucking loser?”
He turned to lean over the back of the sofa, looking tired under his eyes but energetic within them.
“Fuck off,” you returned. “As if you give a shit who I date.”
“Date? That’s what you call it?” He scoffed, deliberately, exaggeratedly, as if you wouldn’t otherwise have recognised his scorn. “He treats you like dirt.”
“You would know.”
He was on his feet and in front of you before you could blink.
“The fuck is that supposed to mean?”
You’d had about enough of it, you decided at that moment. Not enough sleep, too much alcohol, and just enough of this bullshit. You grabbed the front of his T-shirt and pulled him with force towards you. You took him by the back of the neck and kissed him, hard and like you meant it. Because you did. It only took him a second to push you back, hands firm on your shoulders, holding you away from him. His face had lost his usual mask – the blank, passive, flat-eyed one that he used to stare people out with unnatural stillness – but he was still keeping you out; it was guarded, flashes in his eyes being stamped out with every blink, his jaw held tight and his mouth shut.
“That’s what I fucking mean, Minho,” you hissed.
“How dare you?” he hissed back, voice so low in his throat you almost couldn’t hear it. “You have no fucking idea.”
His blinks weren’t quick enough this time to hide all the anger burning in his eyes.
“No idea of what? What?!”
His lip curled and he let you go. He let his guard down around you more than he should have: shrugged you off and turned his back on you. You took both palms and pushed him. He tumbled forward, catching his foot on a side table, pulling it down with him as he hit the floor. Cat-like in his reflexes, he was on his feet before the table had stopped rocking. He charged straight at you and continued until you were pressed up against the door, until he was pressed up against you.
“You want a kiss?” he asked and every part of you should have been screaming yes, because you did.
You did want a kiss, but nothing about this was how you wanted it. It was a threat, not an offer. You’d been threatened with worse. You jutted your chin out a little, always standing up, never backing down.
“You going to give me one?”
His eyes flicked towards your lips, hovered there a second, like he was really thinking about it. They stayed there a little longer and doubt was picking up speed on its race to your consciousness. You thought he wouldn’t. You thought he would. You still couldn’t predict his behaviour. You thought you had him pinned and then he flipped you. You always thought you had him on the ropes, but you never really did.
You were impatient, tiring of this, doubt and insecurity and embarrassment swelling up inside you and you opened your mouth to tell him to go away, to fuck off and die, to do something vile to himself. It was at that moment that his eyes met yours again, for a split second that sent a streak of ice through your blood, and then his mouth was on yours.
You had never once looked a gift horse in the mouth, but even if you had wanted to, even if you had decided before he did it that you would push him off, return his rejection, you couldn’t possibly have done it now. His lips were soft, his hands still tight around your arms. He crowded you further against the door, your bodies pressing together as he swiped his tongue against your bottom lip, asking for entry. You gave it to him. Your hands snaked up his chest and into his hair; it was softer than you’d expected, silky. For a moment, you were disarmed by it. Soft. He never let his softness show if he could help it. Only rarely. Only when he felt safe enough to let his guard down did it ever come creeping out from its hiding place. But here it was, sprouting from the top of his head. Here it was, pressed against your lips, brushing your tongue. You felt weak at the knees.
As far as kisses go, it was the best you’d had. Fire and ice fighting: goosebumps erupting on your skin as it flushed hot, making you shiver. His mouth was warm and wet and sweet and you were desperate for more, knowing that he was kissing you just right and that you weren’t doing the same. You were too eager, too greedy, too needy. This wouldn’t be enough. Couldn’t be enough. Just his lips on yours, his tongue rolling with yours, his hands still pinning your sides. You couldn’t stop here. You had to have him. All.
You whined when he pulled back, when his grip on you loosened, and you opened your eyes expecting his to be soft and liquid, to be those sweet, round boba eyes he didn’t show enough of.
They were hard and flat. He moved away from you in one, long step and back was that impassive blankness he loved so much.
“Happy fucking birthday,” he said.
He stalked off to his bedroom and shut the door.
You stayed, glued to the front door, shaking. With anger, probably. With embarrassment, maybe. With something akin to heartbreak, but you would never admit it. The roaring in your ears, the screaming of invective at both yourself and Minho in your head so loud that you didn’t hear the sound of a key in the lock, weren’t aware that someone was trying to get in until they were shoving at the door, pushing you with it.
“What the fuck?” came a quiet whine from the other side of it as he slowly pushed you away and got the door open. “Why were you trying to keep me out?”
Jisung’s hamster cheeks were full of kimbap, the other half of the roll still in his hand, and his eyes were wide with that cute, pitiful look he carried off so perfectly.
You ignored him. You stomped into your bedroom and slammed the door as hard as you could.
THIRD
Despite having your own bedroom (graciously offered up by Changbin and very ungraciously accepted by you), privacy in the small basement flat was an issue. Which is why you were huddled in the farthest corner of it, fists stuffed in your mouth, crying as quietly as you could in the dead of night.
You lived with five men, but you had not yet found someone to date who would take the threat of them seriously. They did make threats, on occasion, when they had to. Because you had not yet found a man who could treat you as anything more than shit but you had, apparently, found the least bothered and most unfazed men in the city. The one before last had barely flinched when all five of them had battered down his door to come for you, when you had finally managed to get a message out that he was keeping you there.
You never found out what happened to him. You didn’t ask and no one told you.
This one hadn’t been that bad. That was the problem. You had thought he was nice. You had thought (as you had so many times before) that he might actually be the first to treat you right.
You were wrong. So, you were crying in the corner of your room. You didn’t always cry. In fact, you didn’t often cry. Rarely, even. It meant that, when you did, the floodgates opened and you found it hard to stop. You found it almost impossible to breathe, desperately snatching air between sobs. Your head was already pounding, your face aching. It was total and complete the way it overtook you. So much so that you didn’t notice the presence of another person until they sat down beside you.
You gasped, as much as you could amongst your shaking, shallow breaths, and were only slightly comforted that it was him. He said nothing. He pulled you towards him and held you like that until the storm had passed.
You continued to sit in silence as your tears dried on your face, as your heartrate settled and your breathing became even. He didn’t make a move to let you go and you didn’t make one either. You were tired. You were sad. You were, though you wouldn’t admit it, a little bit heartbroken. This bit of comfort was exactly what you wanted.
You didn’t want him to say anything. You didn’t want to hear it. That you’d done it again. That you’d never learn. That, somehow, you were gullible and easy to fool despite the fact that you had been hardening yourself against vulnerability of every kind since you were a child. That men just found a way to get beyond your defences—that bad men found a way. The good ones didn’t find you at all.
“His loss,” was what he said.
You lifted your head, tears still clinging to your lashes, drying on your cheeks. He had that look on his face that he saved for you: the soft, sweet one he gave you when you’d earnt it or when you needed it. The one that made your insides curdle, that even now made your heart skip a beat, that you wanted to fall into forever, that had sealed your fate so many years ago now. He blinked slowly at you, cat-like as always, and brushed your hair from your face.
You opened your mouth to speak but nothing came. Your voice was trapped in your throat because he was still looking at you like that but his eyes kept flicking down, then back up, then down again at longer and longer intervals until he closed them completely and brought his lips to yours.
You didn’t have to think twice. Didn’t have to think at all. Your body did the thinking for you. Your hands pushed into his hair and your legs pushed you up so you could slot them down either side of his hips. His hands found your waist and then the soft skin on the other side of your t-shirt.
This was nothing like the first time. You remembered it all too well: the electricity, the anger, the volcano of feelings you’d tried to suppress rumbling and threatening to erupt, to blow the lid off the equilibrium you’d found. The hunger, the desperation, your own neediness spoiling it all.
You weren’t desperate anymore, for his approval, for his love, for whatever he would give you. You wanted it all, would lay yourself on the floor and kiss his feet if he asked, with no hesitation, but you always knew he wouldn’t ask. You’d got used to that.
Except now he was kissing you – he had kissed you – and his hands were squeezing at your waist and it was slow. Controlled. Deliberate. There was nothing accidental about the way his tongue rolled over yours, the way his teeth bit at your bottom lip, the way his hands pulled you lower on his lap, pulled you closer to him until there wasn’t so much as a breath of air between you.
“Mouse,” you murmured, quietly into his mouth.
He shook his head minutely, a tiny hum swallowed by you when he pressed your lips together again. No talking. Fine. You didn’t need to talk. If he kept kissing you, kept touching you, you wouldn’t need to utter another word again. But you couldn’t stop the little gasp when he sank his teeth into the sensitive skin of your neck, the moan rising in your throat when he ran his tongue over the same spot, hurting then soothing. Like always.
It made your brain turn fuzzy, static wavering in your mind, as all your conscious thoughts turned to liquid, melting into Minho’s mouth, swallowed down by him, eaten whole.
Then the front door slammed hard.
“Guys!” Chan shouted, in a way that he never did.
You heard him pounding on doors, opening them, starting with Changbin and Hyunjin’s on the right.
You sprang apart like two north magnets, instinctively repelled by one another, just in time for Chan to burst through the door and scan the room for you, too wired, too stressed to register that it might have been weird for you to be sitting on the floor like you were, certainly not noticing your kiss-bitten lips or heavy breathing or the way Minho’s hair was ruffled like it had just had a fist in it.
“We’ve got to go,” Chan announced. “Like, right fucking now.”
FOURTH
No one wanted to up the ante. No one wanted to start getting involved with the organised crime lot. Your crime was… disorganised. It was local. It was just you doing the things you needed to, skirting around the law to survive. It wasn’t really crime, not if you squinted hard enough. Then the police raided the bar (which was illegal in pretty much every way that mattered) and you had nowhere left to go.
There was just enough of the trust your parents left you (which you got access to at 21) to secure a new apartment (one that was not underground) and a small buy-in with a group of much larger, older, more experienced criminals. There was very little else you could’ve done at that point. Or so you all told yourselves.
The apartment was an upgrade in every way but size. It was newer and above-ground which meant it stayed warm and didn’t get damp. It had windows which let the sun in. It had enough room for two sofas so everyone could sit comfortably. It had a gas hob which really only Chan and Minho cared about, but they cared a lot. It had two bathrooms with reliably hot water and good pressure. It did not get power cuts. It did not always smell musty. It was not brown and beige and grey. But it did have fewer rooms to be parcelled out between you all.
The last one had four rooms that served as bedrooms. This had three. Between six. There had been furious arguments and endless straw-pulling and no one was happy with the results. It took a few weeks but eventually things shook out as they always should have.
You shared with Minho because he was the only one who was willing. You both had reputations for being scary (in totally opposite ways: you the raging bull to his still, fathomless water); you loved to take your bad moods out on one another; he was the only one you ever willingly let see you when you were sad and small and vulnerable. Besides which, no one else would dare try to take the space at your side from him. So you shared a bedroom: two twin beds on opposite sides of the room, because Minho refused to sleep in a bunk bed and you refused to sleep together in a double. There was little room for anything else.
You complained about the sleeping arrangements almost daily. You loved the hot water and the sunlight and the not-mouldiness of the apartment, but some days, you couldn’t bear the way you couldn’t get away from Minho.
You’d thought you had it bad. This was even worse.
Four days. Four days, so far, staying (squatting) in a vile, empty, dilapidated villa apartment, staring out of a window, waiting for something to happen. Just you and Minho and one room. For four days and counting.
It was Minho’s turn to watch and he sat at the monitor, diligent, hard-working, as always, whilst you were supposed to be catching up on sleep. Instead, you were lying on what passed for a bed, tossing an apple into the air and catching it, over and over and-
“You going to stop that?” Minho asked, with his trademark tone: both light and threatening.
“Nope!”
“Want me to make you?”
You flicked your eyes over to him: he was studying the monitor seriously, but you were sure he had been looking at you.
You hadn’t spoken about that night. Partly because you hadn’t had the time. You’d jumped up from the floor of your bedroom, grabbed as much stuff as you could fit in the first bag you could find and the six of you had legged it, making it out just in time to watch the police cars roll up and trash the place.
“There was so much fucking money in that safe,” Chan had said, plaintively, staring at the sky. That was when you’d offered up yours.
You had had to find somewhere to live, and fast. You’d all had to find jobs, something to do, some way to make money that wasn’t connected to the bar. You had been passing like ships in the night, meeting only to argue about shower time and sleeping arrangements. Then Changbin had come home with a suggestion. You’d argued about that, too, but in the end, it was unanimous. Go in with the bigger boys or – well, there was no ‘or’. That was the point.
So you and Minho were working recon. You’d pulled the short straw in more ways than one. It was the longest you had spent together. Ever. Confined for days in this space.
On the first day, he refused to talk to you at all.
On the second, you made everything into an argument because at least you could get a rise out of him.
On the third, he had seemed to thaw. Something had softened and you talked, like friends, like you used to. You laughed and joked and it wasn’t so bad.
Now it was the fourth day and that ice had returned. He had frozen over, doubled-down on silence. No sooner had you had warmed up than he was giving you frostbite, chilblains. Whiplash. Those ten words were the first he’d spoken to you all day.
“No,” you answered. “I don’t want you to make me.”
You paused, wondering if the words you were considering were a sign that you were going mad, that being cooped up in this space had sent you a little doolally. The unbearable nothingness of your days passing like sludge forcing all those hidden thoughts forward, with nothing to distract you from them. The words were certainly risky, but Minho had shown his hand. He had kissed you. Like he meant it. And you knew he would’ve continued to kiss you had Chan not interrupted. He’d have continued to do a whole lot more than just kiss you.
And you were bored.
“I want you to fuck me,” you said plainly, catching the apple in front of your face and turning to look at him.
He was still studying the monitor. Nothing on his face gave anything away: surprise, disgust, lust, laughter. Nothing. You were used to that.
“We’re on a job.”
“Yeah, and it’s boring and nothing is happening and who fucking cares? I would rather have sex.”
He sighed and rolled his head to look at you.
“Really, Sixteen? Now is the time you want to bring this up?”
“Stop calling me Sixteen.”
“I always call you Sixteen.”
“You always call me Sixteen when you want to put me in my place or make me feel like a child. I’m not a fucking child anymore.”
“I know you aren’t.”
“Then why won’t you fuck me?”
He laughed and your blood began to simmer.
“There’s more that I look for than just ‘is not a child’.”
“Don’t try to act like you don’t want to.”
“I didn’t say I didn’t want to.”
“Well then, shall we?”
He smirked and the glint in his eye was new to you.
“We’re on a job.”
“Stop saying that!” you cried, stalking the three steps from your side of the room to his.
You manoeuvred yourself into his lap, blocking the monitor from his view, and took his face in your hands.
“We’re on a job and nothing is happening and nothing will continue to happen for ages yet, so why don’t we make it a little less fucking boring?”
You knew he wanted to. Could see his pupils dilate. Watched his eyes flick to your lips and your chest and back up. This might have been all he wanted: sex and nothing more. You didn’t know. Weren’t interested in having that conversation. Were convinced that it didn’t matter either way. If he only wanted sex, you would give it. Give it until it was too late and he was in too deep to come back out. Hadn’t worked before but there was a first time for everything.
But even that was beside the point. You were desperately bored and bored of being desperate for him and there was one stone that would kill both those birds.
“Mouse,” you said quietly, keeping your voice low, as you placed a kiss on his jaw, as you spread your knees a little wider, sinking lower into his lap. “Come on.”
His hands were on your thighs, neither encouraging nor discouraging, just holding tight. He didn’t respond as you continued to press kisses to his face, to his neck, grinding your hips over him slowly. You could feel his pulse beat fast, noticed the way his breathing was getting heavier, his fingers dipping deeper into your skin, until it hurt. Until he stopped pretending he was going to continue to work, stopped pretending that he could resist you.
“Fuck,” he gasped, his voice hoarse.
He gripped the hair at the back of your head and pulled you from his neck, tumbling you both to the floor. You didn’t want it to be fast, but you’d take it any way he’d give it. So when his hands pulled at your t-shirt, you let him take it off as you unclasped your bra. He didn’t give you time to fumble with the hem of his top, to discard it for him; he dipped his head straight down, swirling your nipple with his tongue, sucking it into his mouth; he rested his weight on one elbow and his other hand descended. You were grateful you had no buttons, no zips to contend with, just the loose, elasticated band of a pair of leggings that had seen better days. Minho’s fingers slipped beneath it and he circled his fingers around your clit, the fabric of your underwear dulling the sensation only slightly.
This was moving even faster than you’d expected but you’d been waiting so long already. Blood rushed to the surface of your skin and your breath began to shudder. Underwear now pushed to the side, you gasped when Minho ran a finger through your folds, shivered when he moaned at what he found there. He brought his lips back to yours but you turned away to let his name drop from your open mouth.
“Mouse...”
“Shut up,” he said firmly as he sank two fingers into your slick cunt and stole your breath with another kiss.
You couldn’t talk but you could moan. Could whine. Could whimper as his fingers moved inside you, as he ground his palm against your clit, as he made your thighs twitch and walls spasm. You tried not to lose your mind completely, to stay grounded, to stay present now that this was finally, really, actually happening. You reached your own hands down to Minho’s trousers; he hadn’t got the no-buttons, no-zips memo and your fingers fumbled with both. They shook with adrenalin as you popped the button through the hole and dragged the metal zip down. You pushed them away from you, off his hips, and had one hand in his boxers when the crackle of the walkie-talkie cut through Minho’s moan.
You both froze.
“Minho? What’s happening? Chan said they’re on the move?”
You glanced at each other, for one more frozen second, and then the world lurched into overdrive. Minho clambered to the monitor with his trousers around his ankles and, as soon as he saw the screen, started swearing viciously, tugging at his clothes and throwing your t-shirt back at you.
“What’s happening?” you asked, breathless for all the wrong reasons now.
“They’re clearing out,” Minho reported into the walkie-talkie, ignoring you but answering your question anyway. “Two loads have left, a third on its way.”
“Shit! How did you miss it? What the fuck were you doing?”
“Nothing! We lost the feed for a minute but it came back quickly and then they were already moving.”
He shot you a glance, something between panicked plea and angry admonishment. It wasn’t often he was caught on the hop, wasn’t ever. You, however, were used to being on the wrong side of things, so you re-dressed quickly and had already started packing your shit up. No matter how sideways this went, you could take two positives from it. One, you wouldn’t have to stay locked up here with Minho any longer. Two, he definitely, definitely wanted to fuck you.
FIFTH
You still hadn’t talked about it. You continued to share a bedroom, sleep there every night, wake there every morning but you had not once discussed the twice now that you had almost had sex. You were waiting for him to bring it up, even though you knew he never would. He wasn’t a coward, not ever, but if there was one word to describe him it was loyal and you knew he would protect your group with his life. And that also meant not pursuing whatever it was that was between you. Because it was a risk. It could jeopardise the stability of what you had established—what Chan had established long before you ever came into the picture.
But you were digging your heels in this time. You’d already come on too strong. Your pride was being wounded with each day that passed, with each day that he continued to pass you up. You’d crack first. You knew you would. You always did. Minho was unbreakable. You weren’t. But you wanted to pretend, for at least a little while, that you could be. That you could be impenetrable, too.
*
“Shit shit shit shit shit,” Junho repeated as he slammed into the car, instructing Minho to drive before the door was even shut.
Minho didn’t need telling twice.
“Where to?”
“Safe house,” he gasped, ragged breathing setting your teeth on edge.
You didn’t ask what had happened. What had gone wrong. That didn’t matter as much as getting out. Getting Junho out. You were disposable, still. You knew that. Even Minho. You were runts; you also still had something to make up for given what happened on your last assignment. So you travelled in silence. Junho in the back, breathing heavily; you didn’t turn around to see if he was ok. You didn’t want to know. You assumed he wasn’t but as long as you could hear him breathing, you knew he was alive.
Minho was facing forward, eyes scanning the roads ahead, reflexes allowing him to run red lights without accident – in this part of the city, no one would stop a flashy car like this for speeding, for driving recklessly. That was what they all did. His jaw was tense, eyes tight. He looked calm but you could see his little legs kicking under the water. You knew him well enough by now.
You didn’t keep your eyes on the road. You kept them on him. Felt like someone needed to be watching out for him, too – not that there was anything you could have done to be helpful anyway. There were always two in the getaway car. That was the rule and you didn’t ask why because you didn’t want to know the answer.
As a teen, you had thought you knew everything. You were old enough now to know not only that you knew nothing but also that you preferred it that way. Need to know basis. For everything. All the time.
Minho slowed, driving more carefully as the car left the city, winding across hills, negotiating turns that you’d have driven straight over, plummeting you all to a miserable death. He turned the headlights off at the mile marker he’d been told about, one that you’d already forgotten, and crawled, slower still, up to the house, blanketed in darkness, hidden by an overgrown and untended garden.
Junho grunted.
“Thanks. Wait until I give the signal then get the fuck out of here. Do not go anywhere you’ve ever met with us. Ditch the car when you can; destroy the plates.”
He didn’t wait for a response. You watched him stagger away and then waited until the light in the top right room flicked on and off and on and off again.
Minho put the car in reverse and slowly backed out. At a further mile marker, he turned the lights on. He continued to climb, driving away from the city still, until the car reached the top of the hill. The lights from the city were so bright you almost didn’t need the headlights at all. It didn’t feel a safe place to stop. Too visible.
Then Minho slowly and quietly backed the car into nook on the hillside. No doubt worn away from years of cars trying to pass each other on the narrow road, it barely contained the car, but it put it in some shadow and no one would hit you.
He turned the engine off and let his hands fall to his lap. His head tipped back against the headrest and he sighed.
“You ok?”
You asked him all the time and he never gave a serious answer because he always was. And if he wasn’t, he certainly wasn’t going to talk about it. But you asked all the same.
He nodded then turned to you.
“You?”
You laughed nervously, suddenly feeling the last twenty minutes as the adrenalin began to drain.
“Kind of feel like I could hurl.”
He laughed too and nodded again.
“I feel like I want to sleep for a thousand years but also like I could run a marathon,” you continued.
“I feel half-dead already but also fucking invincible.”
He held his hand out and it trembled. You clasped it between yours and held it tight. He smiled; from where you were sitting, it looked like a smirk, but then he turned more fully towards you and it wasn’t. It was sweet. His eyes were gleaming. Your mouth dried.
“Half-dead, huh?” And you knew you were going to say it. You always knew you would be the one with which it would raise its head. “How about a little dead? A little death, even?”
“Sixteen…”
His voice had that warning tone to it but the gleam in his eyes remained and you’d broken the seal now. Were going to push this as far as he’d let you.
“Mouse…”
You saw him waver. Absolutely, definitely, were certain that he was considering it. Until a car came over the crest of the hill and its headlights flashed in at you; at the same moment, Minho’s phone buzzed from the cup holder it had been thrown in. You jumped. He jumped. Whatever moment there had been was gone now.
Minho took his hand from your grasp and checked his phone. Then he put the car in gear.
“We’ve got to get out of here.”
*
You expected it to be quick. Expected it to be simple. It turned out to be neither. You had managed to destroy the plates and were very near clear of the car you’d now abandoned when you, once again, found trouble (‘why did it always have to be you?’ you had asked yourself fleetingly as Minho shoved you towards your own piece of shit car that had been waiting for your getaway; he had not waited for you to be fully seated or your door to be closed before he slammed a foot on the accelerator and squealed off). The two of you were screaming around corners, tearing out of the city in whichever direction provided the easiest escape. With the headlights off and the city lights streaming into the distance, you could barely see the road in front of you, had no idea how Minho was still driving straight. You trusted him with your life and it was just as well, because it was in his hands. His, yours, and potentially everyone else’s, too.
The summer sun was minutes away from popping its head above the horizon when you were finally able to return home.
You sat in silence for a few moments. You had moved beyond exhaustion into this kind of frayed, wired alertness. You felt your eyelids dropping even as your heart still hammered. Minho’s hand found yours.
“Mouse,” you said, letting the rest of it fall away unspoken.
“Yeah,” he replied but you didn’t know if that was his answer. “Just give me a minute.”
You were too tired to argue so you let silence fall again. You were almost dropping off, head just beginning to nod, when he tugged on your hand.
“Come here.”
You turned. You leant. His other hand cupped the back of your head and pulled you closer. He kissed you. Electricity crackled and a surge of energy rushed through you. It was happening again. He was kissing you. You couldn’t let this time pass by.
You scrambled in your chair, forgetting to undo your seatbelt, being pulled back by it and swearing coarsely when your lips broke from his. You clambered over the gearstick and the handbrake and fell with one foot heavily in the footwell as Minho slid his seat all the way back. You didn’t have time to care about the jarring in your knee or the bump on your head as it hit the roof. Could barely feel it. Didn’t matter.
Well, it didn’t matter until it did. Until there wasn’t really room enough for you to straddle him. Until you were pressing yourself up against the roof so there would be room for him to get his hands to his belt. Until you lost your balance and fell backwards, landing with bump on the steering wheel, which blared out into the dark dawn street.
“Fucking hell,” Minho muttered. “Get in the back.”
More willingly than you ever had, you did as you were told. He moved his seat forward again, all the way, and you watched him climb through to you, hands reaching for him. It was no less awkward. Not enough room to lie down. Still not enough height to sit. Not space enough between the back and front to kneel. It was messy and uncoordinated, grabbing for anything, taking what you could get, knocking into the window and falling off the seat, kicking and elbowing each other in a tangle.
“Jesus fucking Christ!” Minho roared, in an uncharacteristic display of frustration. “No use. Not happening.”
He sat back and sighed, trousers undone but still around his hips. He pushed his hands through his hair and you tried to settle demurely next to him, smoothing your own hair, zipping up your jeans, swallowing hard as you fought to accept that he was right. It was not happening. Not here. Not now.
You stared through the car window and were sure you could’ve punched straight through it. You wanted to. It was the window, Minho, or yourself. Couldn’t effectively punch yourself. Knew you wouldn’t dare hit your mouse. Your fingernails pressed sharply into your palm as you squeezed your fists tightly.
A hand covered yours. Gentle. You looked at Minho and there he was: your secret, soft guy. You unfurled your fingers and he linked them with his own.
“Come on,” he said quietly. “Let’s just go home.”
FIRST
You tramped into the apartment, bringing your bad mood with you. Everyone was sick of it by now – you were sick of it, but you couldn’t shake it.
Minho was avoiding you. That much was clear. He had been avoiding you since you tried and failed to fuck in the car. You didn’t know why because you didn’t care. You had reached the end of your tether with the universe. Three times now. But still no cigar. You wondered – asked yourself a hundred times a day – what it was going to take to make this happen.
Frustrated didn’t even begin to cover it. You could go out and hook up with whoever you liked. You could get yourself off just fine. But it ran so much deeper than that. If you pulled at the thread, it tugged on your heartstrings, all tangled up in knots. It hurt. It pulled at something so deeply interwoven with your very being; all anyone had to do was follow it to its source and they could destroy you. All anyone had to do was cut it and they’d cut you, too.
You didn’t like that. Hated it, in fact. Hated that all this tugging and wiggling had opened up a hole and you could feel your vulnerability exposed. You could feel weakness leaking out of you, seeping from your pores, visible to the naked eye, for anyone to see.
It made you bitter. Made you angry. Made you lash out even when you shouldn’t have. Because you were always on the defensive. Even now. Especially now.
You knew the others were talking about you. About Minho. About the two of you. Knew it from the awkward silences when you walked in a room and the furtive glances and the group chat that had grown curiously quiet, leaving you to assume that there was a separate one you weren’t a part of.
You were beginning to lose your patience and you were not starting with a plentiful supply.
You lay on your bed, staring at the ceiling, trying to calm your rage. You had woken with it, just like every other day this week, and it would not leave you. You breathed slowly and carefully and tried to think of difficult and boring things.
You thought only of Minho.
Then he opened the door. He hesitated – you could feel him standing there, assessing – and then shut it, leaving you alone. As the door clicked, you felt that tug. You felt the knots tighten, so impossibly tight now that the joins weren’t even visible. You jumped up and threw yourself through the door.
“Stop fucking ignoring me!”
You hadn’t meant to shout.
Minho turned and looked at you. His stillness enraged you further. He didn’t say anything.
“Are you going to fucking say anything?!”
“What do you want me to say?”
“ANYTHING! You haven’t spoken to me for weeks! You literally walk out of rooms if I’m in them! What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“You think this is easy?”
His voice was cold and sharp as steel. His head cocked lightly to the side and his eyes narrowed, peering at you, looking inside you.
“You think I want it to be like this?-”
“I don’t know what you fucking want!”
His nostrils flared. This delighted you. He was annoyed and you loved it.
“Not once,” you continued, still shouting because you couldn’t rein it in, “have you ever fucking told me. Not once have you ever actually said what you want! That you want me. Do you? Fucking do you? Because I don’t fucking know anymore! Every time we get close, you get further away from me! I’m not a fucking yo-yo, Minho. You can’t play with me-”
“Play with you? You think I’m playing? What part of this is a game?”
His voice was rising now, too, his perfectly blank mask slipping.
“It’s never been a game, Sixteen! Not once in the entire time since we met has it been a game! How are you still not getting it? Junho almost fucking died and if he had, it would have been our fault! We all almost ended up in prison because of the fucking bar. The night we met you almost got yourself trafficked! It’s not a game! You act like life is so fucking simple! It’s not!”
“IT IS! It can be that fucking simple! Stop overthinking! Stop taking everything so fucking seriously!-”
“It is serious! That’s what you don’t get!”
He was close now, had been inching closer and closer, and he was looking down at you, his eyes black as pitch, his jaw tight, his breath struggling through clenched teeth.
“You don’t get it and you never have.”
His voice was quiet, back to that steel that sent a chill down your spine.
“Everywhere you go, I look out for you. Everywhere you are, I am responsible for you. It’s been nine fucking years, Sixteen, and you are everywhere I go.”
Your vision tunnelled, stomach fell to your feet. You had to look away and hated yourself for it. You never flinched. You never backed down. You were never the first to retreat. Except for him. You couldn’t bear to look in his eyes, to see what loathing and disdain they held for you. Your embarrassment was on your cheeks already and pricking in your eyes.
Then his nose nudged yours and he took more steps forward. He pushed you slowly against the wall and you cursed yourself for retreating to it.
“You are in my life and in my bedroom and in my fucking head,” he whispered. “All the time. All the fucking time. And I haven’t been able to do shit about it because you are my job. You are mine to protect. Everyone knows it. Everyone knows I would burn this place to the ground for you. I would scorch the earth. I would drain the sea. For you. Don’t you get it? When it comes to you, I’m a fucking liability.”
You risked it. A glance. Lifted your eyes for less than a second but you had to do it again. Had to stop there, be sure you were really seeing what you thought you were.
Soft, round, liquid eyes. An openness in his face that he hadn’t let you into before. His mouth was still a grim line, turned down at the corners so slightly, had it been anyone but you, it would have gone unnoticed.
“Mouse...”
You tried to whisper but could barely manage that, his name creeping out on a hoarse gasp.
He moved his face closer to yours, lips almost touching.
“Don’t you get it?” he repeated.
You got it. Because everything he said was true for you, too. You’d started out as a liability, for sure, but you had continued to be one because Minho was your north star. Not Chan. Not the group. Not whatever sense of purpose you might have derived from the life you had cobbled together. If he said jump, you wouldn’t ask a thing. You would jump. You’d been following him since day one and, then, it might have been desperation, a lack of options. Now... well, there was still desperation: a desperate need for him, a desperate desire to be wanted by him, kissed by him, touched by him. You had other options. Options you would never take, not as long as he existed. You would stop existing before you ever thought of leaving him.
You nodded, feeling more like a foolish, vulnerable 16-year-old than you had when you were foolish and vulnerable and 16.
He sighed, breath sweet with the pudding he could never resist, and you were closing your eyes, tilting your chin up, expecting him to give in.
He turned away. You watched him, mouth agape in disbelief, as he pushed his hands through his hair.
“FOR FUCK’S SAKE!” you screamed, bringing your hands down on his back in something that was half-shove, half-slap.
He had whipped around before you could lower your arms and you found your wrists caught in his hands.
“You don’t fucking stop, do you?” he hissed.
“Why would I stop?! I don’t want to stop, Minho! And nor do you! You can’t say you don’t! Because I KNOW. I KNOW you want it. I know you want me. And I’m fucking throwing myself at you. Take me! TAKE ME!”
His eyes were hard and dark. His fingers pushed so tightly into your wrists that you could feel your pulse against them. He was breathing heavily, nostrils flaring but lips shut tight, pressed together in a thin line.
“Take. Me,” you repeated, level and firm, not sure if he would, but sure that, if he didn’t, things would never be the same again.
You couldn’t do this a fourth time. Couldn’t put yourself in his hands, have him take you, and then... Not. And then stop. And then act as if you didn’t exist. That thread between you, tied up in your heartstrings, was taut, stretched, at its limit. And so were you.
The pause was painful. Excruciatingly long. Adrenalin coursed through you, making you hot, making you shake, making your heart beat so hard against your ribs you thought they might break. Thought your heart might break. Hadn’t been willing to admit how fragile it was but it felt like venetian glass now. You could already feel the cracks forming, the web extending, the shards-
He kissed you. Pulled you roughly towards him by your wrists and kissed you. Put his hands on your hips, then slid them under your top, and still kissed you. He was kissing you. It took a few seconds to slip back into your body, to feel it, the soft petal of his lips against yours, the sharp bite of his teeth, the wet warmth of his tongue. You forgot your shattering heart and grabbed his T-shirt, using it to pull him closer, to drag him into your shared bedroom.
Not that he needed dragging. You stumbled over each other’s feet as you tried to kiss and walk and grope all at once. You tumbled backwards onto his bed and took the brief separation as an opportunity to lose your top, to unclasp your bra. Your hands were in the waistband of your joggers when Minho climbed over you, topless now too, breathless as he mirrored your actions, pushing his trousers and his boxers over his hips. He huffed a frustrated sigh as you giggled, as he stood back up to take them all the way off, to kick them off his ankles and take yours away, too.
He didn’t give you time for admiration, for appraisal. He lay his body over you and his lips pressed against yours, quickly, firmly, before trailing them across your jaw and down your neck. He was every bit as vicious as you thought he would be, teeth nipping at your sensitive skin, sinking into your soft flesh. You wanted him to mark you, wanted the proof of it to last. You scraped your nails down his back and he hissed when you broke the skin. Hissed but didn’t complain. Hissed and moved his mouth lower, swirling his tongue around your nipple, sinking his teeth into that, too.
When you tugged on his hair, he pulled off, looked at you, his face an open question. You shook your head.
“It’s fine,” you panted. “I like it. I just want to pull your hair.”
He laughed and clamped his teeth over your breast again, harder this time, so you keened and your back arched into him. You twisted his roots in your fist and he moaned, eyes flicking up to yours as he kissed across the valley of your chest.
“Do that again.”
“Fuck,” you gasped, tipping your head back, doing as he had asked and tugging hard.
The ache you felt for him had ballooned inside you, taken up all your hollow spaces. There was your flushed skin and your fluttering heart, your rushing blood and your deep, persistent ache for Minho. Nothing more. Nothing less.
“Mouse,” you whispered, voice tight with desire. “Touch me, please.”
You never asked. You didn’t beg. If you liked a guy, you let them do what they wanted with you, and if you didn’t, you took what you wanted. It was always one-sided.
But this wasn’t. It was Minho. It was the fathomless depth in his eyes as he lay his mouth all over you. It was the slip of his fingers through your soaked folds as he sucked sweet bruises against your neck. It was the sound of a moan caught in his throat when you wrapped your fingers around his hard, leaking length. It was mutual. It was reciprocated.
It was burning you up, hotter and sweeter than you’d ever felt before. His fingers sinking into your core made you shudder with delight. The twitch in his cock as you brushed your thumb over his head made your mouth water. The sound of his mumbled sweet nothings pressed against your skin, whispered in your ear, licked straight into your mouth, made you dizzy.
“So soft,” he said. “So wet... Fuck, you’re so fucking beautiful... I’ve wanted this for so long... Wanted you...”
He used your name, your real one, the one he didn’t learn (didn’t ask for) for months after you met. You returned the favour, ‘Minho’ tripping from your lips, until he shook his head.
“Mouse,” he murmured, mouth still pressed against yours. “‘Mouse’ is yours.”
“Mouse,” you echoed and he nodded before kissing you so that you could say nothing at all.
*
You barely spoke, couldn’t catch your breath enough to form the words, couldn’t engage your faculties to find any to say. Minho spoke, though, more than you had ever heard him speak: praise and exclamation and remembrance and, yes, even admonition, but it was all so sweet, syrupy, dripping from his tongue like honey. You’d never heard him speak like this before, never had him melt in your hands or in your mouth, never felt him as easy and pliable as this.
It wasn’t just his body. It wasn’t just the perfect smoothness of his warm, soft skin. It wasn’t just the stretch, the fullness, he made inside you, the insistent rhythm of his hips thrusting his cock tightly into your slick, waiting warmth. It wasn’t just his wet, sugary mouth, at your lips, at your jaw, at your clavicle. It wasn’t just all these things he was doing to you, all the things you were doing to him.
It was his open eyes, round and shining and fluttering closed as your walls clenched around him. It was the tenderness in them, the depth he was letting you see, for more than just seconds at a time. It was the gentle tracing of your face with his fingers, even as he fucked into you, even as his teeth drew blood beneath your skin. It was Minho, the entirety of him. Yours. Finally yours. Finally giving in to you, giving himself to you.
You got it. You had said you did and you had, but now, beneath him in his bed as he loved you, you actually understood the magnitude of it. His feelings for you. Yours for him. Held back behind a dam for so many years and now, the dam had broken. Now came the deluge that would flood the world, could drown everyone in it.
To hell with them, you thought. To hell with anyone else. You found what you needed almost a decade ago. He found you. You found each other, somehow, by some miracle.
When the pleasure swelled up in your core, toes curling, back breaking, you cried out with all the breath you had in your lungs, felt tears sting in your eyes, and the following inhale wobbled and shook. Minho paused, pressed his forehead against yours, kissed you lightly, didn’t have to ask the question out loud.
You nodded and kissed him again, then again, each time hungrier than the last. You didn’t want to stop. Didn’t want to feel anything but this, but him. He moved slower now, though, hips rolling smoothly, lips not leaving yours, even when he spoke, even when he murmured how fucking good you felt, how much better than he’d imagined, how hard he was trying not to come, how he didn’t want this to end.
You couldn’t take it. Thought you really would cry, thought you would collapse entirely under his weight, under the weight of everything you’d been carrying around, all these feelings: all this love and fear and frustration. He pushed you to the edge again without even trying, your red thread thoroughly tangled, inseparable now, and pulling a greater ecstasy from you than you had ever known.
He couldn’t hold out either, his final, sharp thrusts filling you with his sticky release. You held him there, as close as he could be. He kissed you, so light it was barely there, his fingers grazing your face as he pushed the hair from your brow.
“Mouse,” you choked, tears threatening your waterline.
He kissed you again, that little butterfly kiss; you’d never seen him be this gentle.
“Sixteen,” he whispered and, for possibly the first time, it didn’t sound like disdain, didn’t come accompanied by a smirk or an eye-roll; it was hushed and secret and just for you.
As it had always been.
*
You lay on his chest, bodies pressed together in the small, single bed, as they would have been even if the bed were bigger.
“I want some water,” he said, lips against your forehead before he manoeuvred himself out from underneath you. “Want a drink?”
You nodded and he smiled down at you as he fetched clean underwear and pulled a T-shirt over his head.
You watched him go, watched him open the door, and then heard the sound of party poppers, whoops, and applause.
The apartment was empty. Had been empty when you entered your bedroom. In the midst of everything, you had failed to notice the gang return home. They had not failed to notice you and Minho.
“Fucking finally!”
“You mean, they finally fucked?”
Laughter resounded from the living room. Minho turned around, closed the door, and climbed back into bed without a word.
#skz fanfic#skz smut#skz x reader#lee know x reader#lee know smut#lino x reader#lino fic#lino smut#minho x reader#lee minho#minho fanfic#kpop fanfic#kpop smut#lee minho fanfic
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Soap teaches you a new skill through unconventional methods...
"Ye really can't do it?"
You glance at the man who made himself at home on your office couch. He came in earlier after training, claiming he had free time, so he decided he best spent it bothering you. You should have kicked him out as soon as he walked through the door. Somehow, the conversation he started got into the topic of rolling r's, and now he won't drop your lack of ability to do so.
"Yeah? It's not a big deal, Soap, plenty of people can't do it."
"I guess I'm just surprised. Figured it'd be something you'd be able to do."
You laugh. "Where'd you get that impression?I'm incapable of it. Trust me, I've tried. Videos don't help, and neither does someone explaining how to move my tongue help. I just can't do it."
"Maybe it's because you haven't tried the MacTavish way."
Your eyebrow twitches. He's up to something, you know it. You can feel it in your bones. Don't encourage it. Just stay quiet. It would be best it you don't as-
"What's the MacTavish way?"
You fool.
Immediately, you know you should have kept your mouth shut, but Soap's slashes into a self-satisfied, cheshire grin. Like the cat that ate the canary, he got you. Easy.
"Well, darlin." He leaves his spot from the couch and saunters over to where you sit frozen at your desk, unable to do anything the closer he gets. "I'm glad you asked."
He's right next to you in a blink, planting a heavy hand on your shoulder. He squeezes tightly, and under any other circumstance, it would have been comforting, but all it does is make you feel like prey. You gulp, and it's clear he sees because his eyes track the movement of your throat, smirk plastered on his face.
You don't dare say anything, eyes wide and head tilted back to look up at him. You've never felt particularly intimidated by Soap before, but standing before you now, in his sweaty fatigues, he somehow looks bigger than usual. It ignites something funny in your belly, something you can't really acknowledge with him looking at you like he might eat you whole. And he just might.
But the scary part? You would let him.
"You see- " the hand he has on your shoulder smoothly travels up the curve of your neck until he's firmly gripping your scruff, pulling an embarrassing sound from your throat " -the MacTavish way isn't something I show you. It's something you feel."
"Feel?" Your voice cracks and his thumb rubs soothing circles against your neck.
"Aye, feel," he confirms with a nod and bends down suddenly, face hovering just over yours, breath puffing gently onto you. You can barely hold back a flinch at the sudden movement, but the hand he has on you holds you firm. "It's an important life skill, wouldn't you agree?"
"U-um, I wouldn't say it's-" He squeezes your neck and you clear your throat, correcting yourself. "Yes, sir."
He huffs out a laugh and gentles his hold as if in praise. It oddly makes you preen. "So you'll let me teach you, won't you?"
It doesn't really sound like a question- it more borders as a command, and fuck him because he's not even your sergeant- but you can't bring yourself to say no, or anything really. All you can do is meekly jerk your head up and down, heart racing in your chest, and do your best not to whimper when he chuckles at you and says, "Good pet, just follow my lead and I'll have you rolling your r's in no time."
He doesn't give you a chance to say anything, pulling you by the scruff and leaning in to capture your lips. You instantly fail at keeping your noises in check. Pathetic little whimpers and moans get swallowed into Soap's mouth as he doesn't even attempt at easing you into the open-mouth, dirty kiss. It's sloppy and messy, but it's slow so you can follow along, even while it has you feeling like jelly.
His hand lets go of your neck, but you don't get a moment to miss it because it's quick to grip you tightly beneath the chin, fingers curling over your jaw and into your cheeks, ensuring you keep your mouth open, not that you would have closed it, despite feeling yourself drool.
You feel his tongue press incessantly against yours, playing with it, before guiding it into his mouth. He lets you feel the way he moves and positions his tongue as he begins to softly roll an r, a gentle purr-like sound producing from his throat. It's a curious thing to feel, and you're careful not to disturb him too much, but he isn't deterred. He only stops to hum in approval at your gentle exploration.
He repeats the roll a few more times before licking back into your mouth for his own exploration, moving your tongue around until it's positioned like his was. He pulls back with a filthy string of saliva breaking off and a satisfied smirk on his face. "Try rolling your r's now, darlin."
You attempt it, and while it sounds a lot better than before your lesson, you still don't quite get it.
Soap doesn't seem bothered by it, though. He just chuckles and says, "Practice makes perfect. I'll let you feel as many times as you need, darlin. Now gimme a kiss."
-
《 scene i wanted to include but couldn't:
Reader attempting to roll r's and Soap laughing at you because you 'look like a puppy trying to growl' 》
Be gentle please it's my first time writing an actual fic in a while ( ̄~ ̄;)
ugh i wanted to keep this shorter, sorry
#john soap mactavish x reader#john soap mctavish x reader#soap mactavish x reader#soap x reader#soapy thoughts :]
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take all of me
pairing: josh futturman x f!reader
summary: when a messy time jump leaves josh with a brand new body part, the only person he wants to show is you
warnings: 18+ MDNI, roommate!reader, friends to lovers, dick swap, smut, handjob, f!masturbation, unprotected piv, rough/painful sex, size kink, mild body insecurity, comfort
words: 4k
@tinycozycomfort this one's for you pookie <3
“You have to see this.”
The front door slams, and then your roommate waddles into the living room looking so excited, you'd think he just won the lottery. You laugh at his dramatic entrance after the initial shock subsides, not bothering to pause the TV behind him.
Josh bursting into rooms at random happens more often than it probably should, usually to announce a breakthrough in his game or gossip he heard at work. But as you wait for him to share his big news, you notice there's something off about him.
He's jittery as hell and standing awkwardly like he really has to use the bathroom. His legs are spread a little too far apart, and his hands are clasped tightly in front of his crotch like he's either protecting himself or hiding something. You're pretty sure he was out doing resistance stuff all day—and that's when it hits you.
Whatever he's itching to tell you has Tiger and Wolf written all over it, and that can't be good. Your smile drops and you raise an eyebrow expectantly, silently demanding an explanation, but he just continues to stand there with that goofy look on his face.
So, he's going to make you ask. Dumbass.
"Uh, you gonna show me or are you gonna keep blocking the TV?" you ask bluntly. He grins brightly at your interest, and your expression softens.
"Both. You're not gonna believe this," he says, suddenly fumbling with his belt and unzipping his pants. Before you can object or react at all, he tugs down his jeans and boxers in one fell swoop.
Your jaw drops. "What the fuck is that?"
He's right. You can't believe it. The monstrosity hanging between his legs definitely wasn't there when he left the house, or at the very least, it didn't look anything like that last time you saw it. Not that he walks around the apartment with his dick out, but living together, you see each other naked now and then, and that's...new.
"How the hell—did you get a penis enlargement or something?" you openly gawk, trying to wrap your head around what he's showing you. Josh's dick is massive, almost too big to fit his body.
Huffing out an awkward laugh, he moves to cover himself again, likely embarrassed by your reaction. You immediately feel terrible. You didn't mean to make him feel bad. There's just no way you could've seen that coming.
"The TTD is sort of...broken," he explains timidly. "The last time we jumped, it swapped a few body parts between the three of us. A couple toes, a finger—"
"A dick? That's Wolf's dick? Holy shit."
He nods excitedly, perking back up. "I know, right? It's crazy. One second, we're in James fucking Cameron's house and everything's going haywire, and then we're back in 2017, and suddenly my pants don't fit. How does he even walk around with this thing?"
You scooch forward on the couch to get a better look, oddly captivated. "I think you're about to find out since it's yours now."
Abruptly, his face goes blank like he's just realizing he might be stuck with Wolf's dick forever. You can't tell if he's happy about the prospect or worried, but you're starting to feel a little conflicted yourself.
Feelings you're usually able to ignore are bubbling to the surface, and it's getting harder to remind yourself that the dick currently making your mouth water is attached to your roommate. Curiosity gets the better of you, and before you can stop yourself, you ask a question you really shouldn't.
"Can I touch it?"
"What? You want to...what?" he sputters, taken off-guard. The tips of his ears burn bright red, and his mouth opens and closes repeatedly like he wants to say something. Ultimately, he gives up.
After the whole show-and-tell thing, you're a little surprised he's getting shy again, but the last thing you want to do is make him uncomfortable. It's a line you haven't crossed with each other. You decide to backtrack, hoping you haven't overstepped the boundaries of your friendship.
“Obviously, not if you don’t want me to. No pressure at all, I was just curious," you rush to reassure him. But when you glance down, you notice he's subtly grinding into the heel of his hand, already half-hard and giving away exactly how he feels about your request.
"I-I mean, yeah, totally. Go right ahead," he consents casually, but he doesn’t sound nearly as nonchalant as he thinks. You give him a playful smile, reaching out and grabbing a handful of his shirt to tug him closer, and he awkwardly shuffles forward until he's between your legs.
He watches you nervously, fidgeting as you trace a prominent vein that snakes from the base to the tip. A soft, needy sound from above you encourages you to continue your path up to toy under the ridge with your thumb, and when his cock twitches in interest, you peer up to gauge his reaction.
The sight alone makes you wet. His eyes are glassy and unfocused, and that flush that began at the tips of his ears has spread to his cheeks and down his neck. He's already gnawing on his bottom lip in anticipation, waiting to see what you'll do next.
Eagerly, you wrap your fingers around him the best you can and give him an experimental tug. He chokes out a groan, and it sends another wave of heat through your body.
"Is it sensitive?" you ask soothingly, taking it slow with a few loose strokes.
"Yeah," he breathes out. You pump him again, a little tighter this time.
"More sensitive than the other one?"
He nods, swallowing harshly. "Yeah."
"Want me to keep going?"
"Please."
Bracing a hand on his stomach, you push his shirt up for better access and pump him faster, marveling at how quickly he starts to leak onto your fingers. You tease the head with your palm, spreading precum down his length to ease the slide, but he doesn't melt into your touch like you expect him to. Instead, he tenses up, fighting to keep still.
"Hey," you duck down and kiss his hip to get his attention. "Don't overthink it. Just let me take care of you, okay?"
He nods again, panting as his head falls back and his eyes flutter closed, trying to relax his body like you told him to. His hips rock forward, steadily establishing a rhythm until he's a whimpering mess and all but fucking into your fist.
He's a lot louder than you expected. Your room is right next to his, so you know what he sounds like when he's jerking off, but this is on another level. And he looks wrecked.
Sweat dampens his forehead, curling the soft baby hairs at his temples, and his volume increases, easily drowning out the ambient music of the movie still playing in the background. It's turning you on way more than you'd like to admit, your underwear sticking to you so badly, it's getting impossible to ignore. As if on cue, he whines your name in search of more friction, and you realize you can't anymore.
Desperate for relief, you slip a hand past the waistband of your sweatpants and dip two fingers into your aching cunt, fucking yourself for a few blissful moments before trailing back up to rub your clit. It's not nearly enough, but there's no way you're asking Josh for help.
You're roommates, not fuck buddies—or so you tell yourself, even though you know it's a load of bullshit. Even though you know he'd say yes in a heartbeat.
While you continue to jerk him off, he buries his hand in your hair to ground himself, mumbling under his breath as his fingers tense and untense between the strands.
"Fuck, that feels so good," he sighs, his head lolling forward so he can watch you work him. But then, he catches sight of you playing with yourself, and he seizes up, jerking violently in your grasp. "Are you...? Shit—"
Before he can accidentally teeter over the edge, you squeeze the base of his cock and cut him off with another offer you really shouldn't be making. You must be out of your fucking mind. It's Josh. But he's so hard, and you feel so empty. You'll worry about the consequences later.
"I know something that feels even better."
His eyes fly back to yours, darting between them like he's waiting for you to elaborate or take it back. But you don't do either. Instead, you release his cock to shirk your sweats and underwear. Spinning around, you brace your hands on the back of the couch and stick out your ass—an invitation.
"Only if you want to," you continue.
Oh, does he ever. He stumbles forward in a daze, holding your waist with one hand while he slaps his cock on your ass with the other. He feels hot and heavy on your skin, and your mouth starts to water again.
"You're sure about this?" he asks hesitantly, even as he grabs a handful of your ass and spreads you open.
"Touch me, and then ask again if I'm sure," you reply over your shoulder, knowing it won't take more than that to convince him.
He looks hesitant to do that too, but concedes when you wiggle against his crotch. Cautiously, his hand disappears between your legs, and the moment he feels it, all of the air leaves his lungs.
"You're so wet," he mumbles to himself in awe, grinding his palm into your messy heat. Without warning, he dips a thick finger inside you and pumps it a few times before adding another one. "And tight, oh my god."
You push into him, thankful to finally have something inside you, but you want to be full. The weight of him so close to where you need him is slowly driving you crazy. You're tired of waiting.
"Josh, just fuck me. Trust me, I want it," you whine, sounding as desperate and needy as you feel.
His fingers slip out of you, and then you hear a wet noise like he's sucking them clean. Jesus Christ. You force yourself not to think about how much you want him to eat you out if this ever happens again.
He shifts behind you, muttering what sounds like a pep talk under his breath before he inhales deeply and lines himself up.
"Fuck, is it even gonna fit?" he asks incredulously, nudging your entrance. The question was probably rhetorical, but you answer it anyway.
"Make it fit."
His body reacts before his brain can catch up. There's a pained groan behind you, and then his hips jolt forward of their own accord, burying nearly half of his cock inside you. He manages to stop himself after a few jerky, shallow thrusts, but your walls are already squeezing him, and you can tell he's struggling not to cum on the spot.
And you're struggling not to scream. The stretch is mind-numbing, and the longer he stays still, the more intense it gets. Your nails dig into the couch while you fight to adjust, dangerously close to puncturing the cushions, and you've only taken half of him.
You want all of him. Just the thought makes you gush, and that sets Josh off even worse. He whines at the sensation, holding onto your waist for dear life.
"I need you to move," you finally manage to gasp out. "I need you to move right now."
"Shit, okay. Move...right, I can do that," he says quietly to himself, on the verge of another pep talk. His hands trail up and down your sides soothingly, but it feels like it's for his benefit, not yours.
"Josh," you all but growl, forcing yourself backward to steal another inch. That snaps him out of it.
"Hachi machi," he mumbles dumbly, his fingers digging into your skin hard enough to bruise. You'd tease him for it if you didn't think he'd stop again, but it turns out he's as desperate as you are. "Do that again."
You do as you're told. Using the back of the couch as leverage, you tug yourself forward, then force him even deeper. He curses loudly, slackening his grip on your waist, and you get the message loud and clear.
"Again," he grits out. "Please don't fucking stop."
"Not on your life," you reply, more than happy to give him whatever he wants.
Taking over, you work yourself onto his cock inch by inch, gritting your teeth at the onslaught of pleasure and pain. It feels so good, it's making you dizzy. When his hips finally connect with yours, your eyes roll back and your jaw drops.
You're so fucking full. Part of you just wants to keep him there, so unbelievably turned on by being split open like this. But you also want to be railed into this couch within an inch of your life, and that part wins out.
It doesn't take long for Josh to get sick of not being an active participant. Spreading you open, he guides you roughly by the ass—a punishing repetition where he pulls out to the tip, then rams back in, careful not to plunge too deep and hurt you.
You fall into a rhythm, fucking faster and harder until you're positive he's officially ruined you for all other men. You can actually hear how wet you've gotten, and as the sound fills the room, his thumb begins to trace your entrance.
"Wish you could see this. You're fucking...creaming on me right now," he mutters in disbelief, smearing it across your skin. "How are you so wet?"
"B-because you're huge—the fuck else would it be?" you joke breathily, but it comes out as a stuttered mess.
Of course, you'd still be bantering back and forth while he's balls deep. Leave it to you and Josh to moan snarky comments at each other like it's pillow talk. He tries to retort, but then accidentally hits something spongy inside you that makes your cunt clench, and you cut him off with a sob.
"I knew you'd sound pretty," he admits, grinding into that spot to see if you'll do it again. And you do—you can't help yourself. "Might have to keep Wolf's dick if you're gonna sound like that every time I fuck you with it."
Holy shit. What happened to your sweet golden retriever roommate? This can't be the same guy who invites you over to his parents' house for Friday night dinners and seeks you out for comfort after his game kicks his ass one too many times.
That guy never struck you as the type to fuck you so good, you forget how to speak. Or the type to say shit like that. You manage to find your voice, wondering if there are more sides to Josh you don't know about.
"I sound even prettier when I'm cumming," you goad him. You're already so close, and you both know it. Especially with the new knowledge that whenever you hear him jerking off, he's thinking about you. You think about him, too. "But not as pretty as you."
And he almost proves you right, then and there. But to your disappointment, he freezes up, exhaling shakily behind you. If his heavy panting is any indication, he had no idea you were listening in the next room, let alone that you liked it. You don't give him a chance to catch his breath before you go in for the kill.
"You should cum inside me. I'd love to hear what that sounds like," you tell him, peering over your shoulder to see his face. But his eyes are already squeezed shut, and he looks like he's either about to cry or burst. Maybe both.
"O-Oh...fuck—"
Just as you're about to pick up where he left off, his hips jolt forward again, pushing him deeper than you were prepared for. The shock combined with the low whine still vibrating in his chest sends you reeling.
"Fucking ow. Be careful with that thing, Futturman," you gasp as your legs threaten to give out, but it tapers into a moan. God, even the pain feels so good. His arms encircle your waist to keep you from falling.
"S-sorry, I just...what?" he chokes out, and it's so high-pitched, you almost miss it.
"I'm on the pill, just—"
He slaps a hand over your mouth, and you shoot him a pleading look.
"Shit, don't—I heard you, don't say it again. Unless you want me to cum literally right now," he says frantically.
"Do it," you all but beg.
His face screws up, looking conflicted like he's doing everything in his power not to. But then your entire body is thrown forward, and he's finally fucking you the way you need him to.
The dull, syrupy ache from earlier ebbs into heady pleasure that sends you hurtling towards your peak, making your head spin and your walls flutter around him. You quickly forget about chastising or teasing him, and once he finds that perfect spot again, you forget everything else, too.
Josh isn't doing much better. He's devolving into a whimpering mess again, his movements messy and uncoordinated like he's about to lose it, and you're not far behind. You try to warn him between rough thrusts, but by the time you pull yourself together enough to speak, it's already too late.
"Josh, I'm...fucking cumming—fuck, I'm cumming," you sob, and your legs actually give out this time. You clamp down like a vice, gushing around him as your orgasm slams into you, wave after wave. It's intense and overwhelming, and god, you feel so fucking full.
You're too blissed out to realize how hard you're squeezing him or how hard he's fucking you through it, but it doesn't take long for him to steal back your attention.
"Holy shit, that's tight. Oh my fucking god, you're gonna make me—" He lets out something breathy and desperate, and you were right. He sounds so pretty when he cums.
Instead of catching you as you crumble, he yanks you up, holding you flush against his chest while he empties into you as deep as your cunt will take him. His hand splays across your stomach so he can feel himself moving inside you, and the other cups your cheek, tilting your head towards his. Then, his lips are on yours.
Your first kiss with Josh is awkward and messy, a heated exchange of breath more than anything else, but it's still perfect. Because it's him. He tastes vaguely like apple juice, sweet and a little tart, and it spreads across your tongue as the kiss deepens. He moans into your mouth, trembling as his hips slow and your aftershocks wring out the remainder of his orgasm.
For a while, you stay like that, letting Josh hold you and kiss you insistently, then sweetly once you've both come down from your highs. He doesn't part from you until his cock softens and slips out, and even then, he only pulls back far enough to turn you around and rest his forehead on yours.
"That was...," he trails off, his long eyelashes fluttering as he processes everything you just did together. Your eyes meet his, and you get lost in soft hazel, anxiously waiting for him to continue.
"You're incredible," he finishes, gazing at you almost reverently. You're flooded with relief, unable to stop the huge smile that spreads across your face. And you don't want to.
He kisses you again, and you melt into each other, slowly sinking onto the couch. This time, there's no heat or desperation. You're just enjoying the newness, exploring what already feels so comfortable and familiar.
Without breaking your kiss, he wraps his arms around you and pulls you onto his lap. His release begins to leak out of you, smearing across his thighs, and the sensation brings you back to the present. You can tell he's reluctant to pull away, but when he finally does, he looks nervous—maybe even a little insecure.
"Talk to me," you say softly, cupping his cheek and thumbing across the stubble on his jaw. He sighs, averting his gaze as he leans into your touch.
"I'm just...I don't know," he starts, and you can tell that whatever it is, he does know. He's just scared to say it. You let him work up to it at his own pace, and after a long pause, he continues. "Would any of this have happened if the TTD hadn't swapped my dick with Wolf's?"
Ouch. You had a feeling this conversation was coming. These are the consequences you knew you'd have to face eventually, but you never expected him to believe you were so shallow.
You school your expression before responding, trying to ignore how much it hurts that he could think so little of you.
"Yeah, I think it would've. It might've taken a little longer, but we would've gotten our shit together eventually. The TTD stuff just sort of...sped things up," you tell him honestly. "Maybe this wasn't obvious before, but I clearly like you, new dick or not. Most of the shit we do isn't even remotely platonic, and I'd never do that with another roommate, let alone fuck them. I thought you knew me better than that."
"I did—I do. I'm sorry, of course I know that. Things are just happening really fast, and it feels like everything's changing—you and me, my body, the future," he says, exhaustion creeping into his voice. "I like you so fucking much. I just needed to know you didn't sleep with me after all this time because my dick got bigger."
His words sink in, and your expression softens. He looks more vulnerable than you've ever seen him. You hold his gaze for a moment, then lean in to kiss him, draping your arms over his shoulders to pull him close as your lips move purposefully against his. Separating, you meet his eyes again.
"Josh, I could care less about superficial shit like that. It could literally fall off right now, and it still wouldn't matter as long as you and I are okay," you respond, hoping he believes you this time. "And for the record, I wanted to sit on your dick, too. I just never got the chance."
He huffs out a laugh, relief radiating off of him in waves. "Have I mentioned that I really like you?"
"Oh, I know," you grin, wiggling in his lap to ease the remaining tension. "I think you forget our beds share a wall. I've had to listen to you jerk off almost every day for over a year, and I don't know if you realize this, but you say my name. A lot."
He smiles sheepishly, his cheeks turning pink. "Jesus, okay. Point made."
The two of you quickly slip back into easy banter, and it feels good. You're still the same roommates who annoy the hell out of each other, but everything's out in the open. Now, you can actually act on all of the offhandedly dirty shit you always say to make him blush.
"I never said I didn't like it," you laugh, biting your lip. "Maybe I can help next time."
That catches him off-guard, and he accidentally swallows wrong. "Uh, yeah," he clears his throat, trying and failing again to sound nonchalant. "I'd be down for that."
"Can I put it in my mouth?" you ask innocently, and he winces, tipping his head back onto the couch. His hands slide up your thighs and squeeze, tugging you closer to his crotch.
"I'm gonna get hard again if you keep going," he whines, even though he's already halfway there.
"Not really seeing an issue here."
Threading your fingers through his hair, you guide him back to your lips and kiss him messily, still in disbelief that it took a time travel disaster to finally get you to this point.
You'll have to thank Wolf for his noble sacrifice later.
thanks for reading!
divider by @saradika-graphics
#josh futturman x reader#josh futturman x you#josh futturman#future man#future man smut#josh futturman smut#future man fanfic#future man imagine#josh hutcherson#josh futterman x reader#josh hutcherson x reader#josh hutcherson x you#josh hutcherson fanfic#josh hutcherson smut#jhutch
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Photographer: Part 2
IU, ~5k words, smut, male reader, author's note at end with update
“The only one.”
“I’m not sure I believe you.”
“Do you not trust me?” IU scoffed, crossing her arms and legs, the sass palpable as if she were filming a drama in her own home.
“It’s not that I don’t trust you,” you replied. “I just know you love watching them squirm.”
“You’re making it sound like I’m such an evil person,” she whined. “I make it worth their while, don’t I?”
“Hey I’m not complaining, I was in that exact situation only like a month ago and loved every second of it.”
“And look how far you’ve come, you’ve become so audacious,” she replied, licking her lips at that last word. “But I sorta miss when you were a stuttering mess.”
“I can pretend to be awestruck again if it’ll make you feel better,” you joked, sitting down next to her and wrapping your arm around her shoulder.
“You’re IU! B-B-But you’re IU!” she teased, lips curled into a sly smile.
She began to giggle as your hand dropped off her shoulder, tickling her ribs playfully.
Her smile was pretty, but her laugh was to die for.
“Okay stop!” she gasped, falling over onto her back.
“Apologize,” you demanded, leaning over her body, locking her in place.
She looked up at you with that mischievous grin - the one she flashed so often lately - on her face.
“No.”
Commotion broke out as you began relentlessly tickling her again, both of your hands toying with her sides. You couldn’t help but join in on the laughter as her shrieks filled the room; It was impossible to not smile.
“Please!” she wheezed, completely out of breath.
“Say it.”
“I’m sorry,” she gasped for air as you finally let up, giving her a chance to catch her breath. “I could get you in… so much trouble… for that.”
“Tell them and then I’ll tell everyone about how you’ve been taking my di-”
“See what I mean, audacious,” she cut you off while smirking up at you.
“I’ve learned from you,” you replied, leaning forward and giving her a short kiss on the mouth. “Take whatever I want, whenever I want it.”
“Strictly speaking, you’re still under that NDA,” IU threatened casually.
“Don’t worry, I wouldn’t actually dare tell anyone about this,” you replied, running your hand through her hair. “I’m a gentleman.”
“Well I hope you’ll be enough of a gentleman to pardon me for just a bit,” IU said while gently pushing you off her. “I do actually have to get back to work at some point.”
“Has it really already been an hour?” you asked, sitting up on the couch, freeing IU from her prison.
“Hour and fifteen,” IU laughed while collecting her discarded clothes from around the room.
“Wait, just one last thing,” you requested, reaching forward and pulling her hand towards you.
She walked up right in front of you, looking down at you with a puzzled expression. Before she could ask what you wanted, you leaned your face forward between her legs and planted your lips against her bare thigh. You left a long, wet kiss on her skin before looking up at her.
“You’re IU.”
She rolled her eyes before bursting out laughing.
—
“Do you think we’ll ever be able to go out instead of ordering in?”
IU bit her lip nervously, looking at you with a face full of remorse.
“Does it bother you?”
“Not particularly, but I do sometimes wonder if it would really be that big of a deal,” you speculated, taking a bite of sweet potato. “What do you think?”
“I’m just…” she hesitated, poking at her food. “The thing is, I really like what we have going on. I don’t want to risk ruining it.”
“Ruining it?”
“It’s more like, I know how some fans can be,” she clarified. “I’m scared some of the more dedicated ones might… you know…”
“Understandable,” you said quietly, taking a piece of fish between your chopsticks.
“That’s not what you wanted to hear.”
“Don’t worry about it,” you reassured her, placing your hand on top of hers. “It makes sense, I agree that we should keep whatever this is more private.”
“Whatever this is…” she mumbled.
The two of you made silent eye contact, forgetting about the dinner spread across the table. You stared into her soft, marble-like eyes, getting lost in her gaze. She was special, you just knew she was special, and you were afraid to lose her. Despite the nervousness, it felt like the right time to ask.
“What exactly is this?”
Silence. An hour of it - or realistically probably just a few seconds - your world stopped. Ever since you had the pleasure of working with IU, you couldn’t stop thinking about her. The two of you would meet almost daily, unless her schedule kept her too busy; the days you didn’t meet, you would still text. You felt like you really knew her.
“I don’t really know,” she answered softly.
“Neither do I,” you said before awkwardly poking at your food, suddenly regretting asking the question. “I’m sorry, didn’t mean to ruin the mood.”
“Don’t,” IU responded sternly. “I may not know exactly what this is, but there’s nothing to apologize for.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You…” she let out a puff of air from her nose before chuckling. “I’m fine with letting things run their course and just seeing what happens if you are.”
“Yeah, that works for me,” you smiled back.
She let out a relieved sigh before finally taking a bite of food.
“If you really want,” she said after swallowing, her tone changing entirely. “Pick a restaurant, I can book the whole thing for us.”
“Do you have any idea how hot that was?”
“Not exactly my intention.”
“Yet, here we are.”
“So what is it,” IU smirked, pushing her plate to the side and planting her elbows on the table, leaning forward with her face in her hands, like a flower blooming. “What are you in the mood for?”
“You know what I’m really in the mood for.”
“I want to hear it,” she purred.
“I’m looking right at it,” you answered, pushing your plate to the side as well.
“Don’t you ever get tired of that one?” she smirked, leaning back in her chair. “You get it all the time.”
“No, never,” you replied while walking around the table in front of her, leaning forward in front of her face with your hands on her arm rests, trapping her in place. “Never.”
“You know you got me in trouble earlier,” IU whined frivolously. “They said I was late.”
“Aren’t you like their princess, who cares?”
“I’m not a princess.”
“Can the amazing IU even get in trouble? Is it even possible?”
“I can!” she protested, unintentionally becoming the most adorable girl on the planet as her sharp eyes contrasted the subtle pout of her lips. “I still have responsibilities, you know, I don’t just show up, take a couple of pictures and leave.”
“Hurtful,” you laughed, standing up straight. You pushed her hair back behind her ear, stroking it softly, admiring the light makeup she was sporting tonight, her charmingly elegant look. That sweet, genuine smile she wore as she looked up at you with her natural innocence - the innocence that hid her true intentions. “You shouldn’t be late, it’s not very responsible of you.”
“I know,” she replied softly, keeping her gaze locked on you, only breaking eye contact for a brief moment to peek at your crotch.
“So the princess learned her lesson?”
“Need I remind you about why I was late?” her expression switched to annoyance. “And I’m not a princess.”
“I would love a reminder,” you smirked, reaching forward to slip the strap of her nightgown off her shoulder.
“You’ll never get one if you keep calling me a princess,” she hissed angrily - yet she made no attempt to stop you as you slipped the other strap off.
“You’re right, you’re not a princess,” you said calmly. “You’re more beautiful than a princess.”
To your lovely surprise, this got her flustered. Flattery almost never worked on her - she was too used to hearing it. Yet her soft features, glowing with a gentle blush, showcased her beauty wonderfully. She looked stunning tonight, just like she did every other night, the perfect visual.
“Tell me more about your responsibilities,” you continued, stepping even closer towards her, easing the thin fabric down until it just barely covered her chest.
“It’s my responsibility to make sure my staff is happy working with me,” she said as she rubbed her hand up and down your crotch, outlining your shaft with her fingers.
“Last I checked, I work for you from time to time,” you said back. “How exactly do you keep them happy?”
“It would be easier if I just show you,” she said while tugging at the drawstring of your pants. “If I have your permission.”
“You’re allowed to do whatever you want,” you answered, holding her hair out of her face as she began slowly easing down your pants. “Isn’t that how this works?”
“That’s exactly how this works,” she mumbled as she pulled down your clothes, freeing your cock from its modesty. “I love how you’re always so excited to see me.”
“Yeah, after all-” you gasped sharply as her tongue made contact with your shaft. “Who wouldn’t be? You’re IU.”
Her lips curled up as her eyes squinted just a bit while she slowly, painfully slowly, ran her tongue up your cock. You took the opportunity to slide your hand down her gown, taking her soft nipples between your fingers, playing with her body with utter freedom.
She reached your tip with her mouth, the way she looked at you. Overwhelming would be an apt description, her eyes managed to be so delicate yet full of ferocity. Confidence, allure, she just knew how to make you lose your mind by doing the most subtle actions, descriptions just couldn’t do her beauty justice.
Your tip was getting all of her attention now as she swirled her tongue, an expert with her mouth, round and round. Her soft lips pressed against your cock, leaving gentle kisses all over the tip while that unbreakable eye contact kept you fixated on her pretty face.
Kiss after kiss, not caring at all about the little bit precum already leaking. She just kept kissing your tip until she was finally satisfied, giving your hole a few gentle prods with her tongue before moving down your shaft, planting her lips on each and every section of your length.
The eye contact never broke. Not once. The most you got was a subtle squint when you would pinch down with your fingers. Even as her lips made it down to your balls, your cock resting on her face, she still kept her gaze on you.
“You’re beautiful,” you muttered, taking one hand out of her top and running your fingers through her soft hair.
Gently, she ran her tongue up your shaft, the blush on her cheeks confirming she heard your comment. Without even lifting her tongue off your cock, she opened her lips wide and slipped the tip into the warmth of her mouth. As she slowly moved down your cock, eyes still locked on yours, the excessive wetness of her mouth began coating your entire cock.
She sucked you off with utmost enthusiasm, repeatedly sending impulses up your spine. One hand was on the table in a feeble attempt to hold yourself up, while your other hand was holding back her hair. With how beautiful IU was, you didn’t want to miss it for a second.
The difficult part, however, was ignoring the haziness in your eyes. The softness of her mouth around your cock was desensitizing your entire body. For the next couple of minutes, it felt like your cock was the only part of your body that existed, and it lived happily halfway down IU’s throat.
It became too much for you. The urge took over - you needed her. You pulled your hips back, letting your cock escape IU’s lips before immediately pulling her up off the chair. Before she could even react, you had picked her up by her thighs and carried her over to the couches behind the dining table.
“Wow, do you have any idea how hot that was?” IU gasped as her back hit the cushions.
“Exactly what I intended,” you replied with a smile.
The smile on your lips was immediately pressed against IU’s mouth as you leaned forward over her. With your tongue down her throat, you yanked her little nightgown down and cupped her small breasts between your fingers as her legs wrapped around your waist.
Your throbbing cock was pressed against her underwear as the soft dress bunched up at her waist, exposing her soft thighs. You began rubbing your cock against the thin chiffon between her legs, her wetness being felt through the thin fabric.
Soon, both of your hands had abandoned her chest and made their way down her body. You had two handfuls of her soft thighs pressed between your fingers while your lips continued their gentle massage against IU’s mouth. She was intoxicating.
It was difficult to stop kissing her, near impossible at this point. Until she took the short instant that your lips parted with hers, while you took a quick breath, to speak words directly into your face.
“Hurry up and take me,” she whispered, closing her eyes and leaning her head back.
After a sharp inhale, you reached a hand between her legs, pulling her soaked underwear to the side and pressing your cock against her bare, warm, wet folds. Her body welcomed you, silently begging for you to enter.
Before you plunged your cock into her warm embrace, you leaned your mouth forward into the crevice of IU’s neck that she was presenting to you. Her gorgeous scent filled your senses as your mouth began kissing her smooth skin, right before you entered her pussy.
The warmth and tightness around your cock was nothing compared to the satisfaction of the moan that hit your ears. You began aggressively kissing her neck, holding your cock about halfway deep into her pussy, relishing in each and every noise leaving IU’s lips each time your cock moved slightly.
Once she had a few seconds to adjust, you rested your face on her clavicle, using your hands to support your body as your hips started to move back and forth. She kept moaning, more pragmatically now, enjoying the sensation. It was like she had become an instrument, one that you magically knew how to play.
Sex with IU was insane. The girl was so unbelievably expressive, it was impossible to not feel like a king around her. You could happily watch her scrunched up face while you fucked her gently for the rest of your lift - it was utterly enthralling.
“I’m going to cum,” you moaned quietly, keeping the pace of your hips. “You’re going to make me cum.”
“Mhmm,” IU moaned back.
“Where?”
“Anywhere!” she cried out, shocking you with the sudden intensity, scrunching her face up even harder.
Her hands grabbed her dress, scrunching it up into what resembled a tiny ribbon just below her breasts, exposing her toned stomach. Her knuckles went white with how hard she was gripping the cloth.
Only now did you become acutely aware of how tight her pussy was becoming. It felt divine, but it also meant it was impossible for you to hold back any longer. You suddenly hit the point of no return, the tension building up all around your crotch. You were mere seconds away from exploding inside her, but the desire to paint her abs somehow prevailed.
Without hesitation, you pulled out and began stroking your cock over her body. The same instant that your tip left her pussy, a beam of white launched all the way up her body, leaving a streak of white across her stomach.
IU, finally opening her eyes, licked the back of her hand clean of the cum that splattered on it before intently watching your cock unload into her stomach. Her deep breaths were making the lake of cum spill over onto the couch - a problem for later. She smiled softly at you while rubbing her pussy with one hand slowly as your cock dripped the last bit of cum onto her belly.
However, you weren’t done yet. Swiftly, you moved back and shoved your face between IU’s spread legs. Her sudden shriek transformed into a moan halfway as your tongue began making circles around her clit. You were aggressive, making sure she felt every movement.
The hand she was pleasuring herself with had grabbed your hair, and you could feel her fingers digging into your scalp. Her other hand was interlocked with yours as you reached up to grab it, squeezing tightly. Your tongue was working overtime trying to get IU back to her climax.
Based on how her thighs began to press against your head, you figured it was working. You began sucking on her clit while bringing your free hand up and inserting two fingers into her pussy.
“Just like that,” she groaned softly. “I’m close.”
Her taste was intoxicating. You simply could not get enough. She began to leak profusely, filling your mouth to the point of her wetness coating your chin; you didn’t care one bit. All that mattered was making her feel good.
She began to hyperventilate, arching her back as her pussy leaked all over your lips and hand. You could feel her pussy squeezing your fingers, convulsing each time your tongue lapped at her clit. It was inevitable now - she was going to cum.
Licking and sucking, you went a bit longer, keeping your mouth open now to try accommodating the mess she was making. After just a short few moments later, you felt a small spurt of liquid hit the back of your throat accompanied by a very loud shriek coming from IU.
“Oh fuck!” she shouted, letting go of your hand and letting her whole body convulse in pleasure.
She had also let go of your hair at this point, simply leaning back on the couch and enjoying the moment. You leaned back slightly, watching her writhe and ride her orgasm out as your two fingers gently thrusted into her pussy. You brought your second hand up towards her clit, rubbing light circles while you watched her.
Her orgasm went on for a while, and you enjoyed every second of it just as much as she did. When she finally began to calm down, you slowly withdrew your fingers and leaned over her body. The two of you kissed again, IU’s eyes closed once again.
After the kiss, you simply lay on top of her body, feeling each breath she took. The two of you were a mess, but that was the least of your worries. You just wanted to hold her, feel her warmth, feel her lungs inhale and exhale. For a few minutes, the two of you simply lay there in each other’s embrace, silence broken only by the gentle breaths IU was taking.
“What’s your plan for tomorrow?” you asked, gently breaking the silence.
“I have a short photoshoot in the morning, and then I’m free.”
“Photoshoot? I don’t remember hearing about this.”
“There’s going to be another photographer,” IU answered quietly.
You sat up and looked at her as she tried to avoid your gaze.
“You’ve had plenty of photographers other than me since we started this thing,” you said cautiously. “But why does it seem like there’s something bothering you this time?”
“It’s… complicated,” IU began to explain.
“I believed you when you said you stopped,” you chuckled. “I’m not actually worried about another photographer working with you.”
“We have history.”
“What kind of history?” you asked hesitantly, starting to get worried by how she was acting.
She looked up into your eyes with a pained expression.
“Are you really going to make me say it?”
“No,” you replied softly before moving over on the couch until you were right next to her. You wrapped your arms around her before continuing. “It doesn’t matter what you did.”
“He’s going to be the first photographer since I met you who knows about…” IU stammered, her arms latching onto your back. “What if he…”
“You can say no,” you interjected firmly, squeezing her small body tightly. You held onto her until she stopped sobbing, until her body stopped trembling, before letting go of her and looking into her face. “You’re not that type of girl,” you said softly as you wiped her face.
“What is wrong with me!” she shouted dramatically, tilting her head back to try and hold her tears in. “This was so much easier before…”
“Before what?” you asked while moving closer to her.
IU gazed deep into your eyes, her own sparkling with the remnants of her tears. She inched her face forward - it felt like she was taking an eternity - until her lips were as close to yours as they could physically be without touching.
“Before you,” she whispered before pressing forward.
—
It was impossible to stop thinking about it. You decided to work from home, IU’s home, because she refused to let you leave last night - not that you wanted to leave anyway. It would be fine under normal circumstances, but it did make it extremely difficult to stop thinking about her.
After accepting work was not an option today, you decided to just slack off on your laptop - something most employees already did when they worked from home. Time ticked away slowly as you spent the day switching between shows and YouTube videos. Luckily, IU’s home was painfully comfortable, there really were no complaints to be had.
Eventually boredom, or perhaps guilt, kicked in, and you decided to give work another shot. By some divine intervention, you managed to forget about the unforgettable girl for just a little bit and you actually got some editing done.
Taking the pictures was only a small part of your job, most of the time you were busy editing and compiling the best shots into sets for clients. As you sifted through picture after picture, you were once again reminded of how nice working with IU was. Working with someone as talented as her just made things so much easier, you didn’t have to delete hundreds - if not thousands - of ‘bad’ pictures; It wasn’t easy taking a ‘bad’ picture of IU.
Endless scrolling eventually took a toll on your mind, and you felt yourself slowly start to doze off. IU was partially to blame again: Why was every piece of furniture in her home so comfortable? It did, however, end up making your extracurricular activities with her quite fun. With all the options available in her home, the two of you rarely ended up doing much in her bed other than actually sleeping.
Your mind casually thought of all the chairs, couches, tables, rugs, and a number of other more unorthodox places the two of you have enjoyed the last month together. As you sank into her couch, you didn’t even have the energy to put your laptop on the coffee table before you fell into a state of bliss.
That state of bliss, however, was completely shattered when you woke up to the gentle sounds of sobbing on the couch next to you. Out of all the ways IU has woken you up previously, this was by far the worst.
“IU?” you croaked as your eyes furiously blinked open, trying to find the source of the crying next to you. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m a fucking slut.”
“Hey!” you quickly rushed to her side, pulling her into your embrace. “Why would you say that?”
“It’s true,” she cried, her eyes coating your shoulder. “Everyone knows it, everyone’s thinking it.”
“No they’re not,” you said firmly.
“You probably also think I’m a slut,” she sobbed, her arms falling limply to her sides.
“No I don’t!” you insisted as you pulled back, holding her shoulders, staring into her face. She still had the professional makeup from the photo shoot on, and you just now noticed how beautiful she was at this moment despite the crying. “What did he do?”
She shook her head, her lip quivering, tears building up in her eyes again.
“I’m not mad, I just need to know what happened,” you said, trying your best to control your voice.
“Nothing happened,” she said sniffled. “I didn’t do anything with him.”
You tilted your head in confusion.
“I told you, I’m not mad, just tell me what happened.”
“See, even you assume I’m just a fucking slut!” IU shattered into tears, putting her hands over her face and crying.
“What? No!” you let go of her shoulders, trying to make sense of what was going on. “Please, I believe you, just help me understand.”
She took a minute, one that felt like an hour, before lowering her hands and looking at you.
“He…” she stammered, scrunching her face up in an attempt to hold back her tears.
“Take your time,” you reassured her, reaching forward and grabbing her hands. “I’m not going anywhere, take as long as you need.”
She inhaled deeply, exhaling slowly, rubbing her cheek against her shoulder before speaking again.
“The photoshoot… after we finished, he…” she struggled until you gave her hands an encouraging squeeze. “He came into my dressing room after.”
You held your tongue, letting her say her whole piece before asking questions despite the burning rage that was filling your insides.
“He expected me to just… he walked right up to me and lowered his pants,” IU choked, taking a short moment to recompose herself. “The way he looked at me, he just expected me to…”
“Did he do anything else?” you asked gently but firmly.
“No,” she shook her head, lip trembling again but no tears fell this time. “I told him I don’t do that anymore.”
“And that was the end of it?”
She nodded slowly, looking at you as if she expected something, reassurance, comfort, it wasn’t clear.
“You’re not a slut,” you said directly. “Even if you did what he wanted, it still wouldn’t have made you… can we stop using that word?”
“Do you not believe me?” her eyes began to well up.
Without hesitation, you lunged forward and pulled her into your embrace again.
“Of course I believe you,” you mumbled into her shoulder while rubbing her back. “I trust you completely.”
“Then why does it feel like you still think I did something,” she sniffled against your shoulder.
“I don’t think you did something,” you replied. “I only meant even if you did, it wouldn’t matter.”
“There is no ‘if you did’ about it!” she shouted as the tears streamed down her face. “I told you already, you are the only one I want. I don’t do that stuff anymore.”
“I know,” you whispered into her shoulder.
“Do you still want…” she sniffled before stopping.
“Want what?” you asked, letting go of her.
“This.”
“You mean, us?”
She nodded solemnly.
“Of course I still want this,” you answered firmly. “We agreed to see where things go, is that not what you want anymore?”
“I’m… no,” she responded. “I’m tired of waiting and seeing.”
“You mean…”
“We both want the same thing, why make it harder than it needs to be?” she continued. “I’m ready if you are.”
“IU, are you sure?”
“Exclusive. You. Me.”
It felt like a weight had been launched off your chest, a weight you weren’t even aware of before. You could feel the palpitations in your chest, suddenly your heart wasn’t working properly. IU wanted to make this official?
“I’m ready.”
---
AN:
IT HAS BEEN A VERY LONG TIME. No, this was not initially intended to be a Christmas release, but hey Merry Christmas to those who celebrate! This chapter ended up being a tiny bit shorter than my normal, but that's because I decided I like this story and want to continue it for just a little bit longer (maybe 5 parts total?) and this was a nice ending spot. I sorta have a plan for how I want to end this series, so we'll see if we get there.
Anyway, figured I'd update a bit on what's going on with me. There's a really good chance that this will bite me in the butt, however, I plan to upload somewhere between 2-5 updates in my other stories within the next week or two. THIS IS TENTATIVE, NO PROMISES.
Life is busy, I am borderline retired as a writer now, but like I said previously: I will still try to write when I have time and motivation. Updates, after the optimistic 2-5 I mentioned above, will continue to be extremely sporadic. For those of you who truly enjoy my writing, I'm sorry that there will be long delays. For those of you who don't really care for my writing... why are you still reading this?
Same deal as before, I'd love feedback! I'll admit, I won't be able to put as much time and effort as I used to, but I still want to improve. Let me know what you liked or disliked! I didn't really proofread or reread this chapter nearly as much as I normally do, honestly I just missed the thrill of uploading a piece of writing. Hopefully you guys understand and will forgive any silly mistakes!
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It was another competion the entire family all shoving and pushing each other into the car to see more of Damian's art.
Tim is excited for Damian.
He knows what it's like, to stand there and have no one show up. To be there all by yourself for hours the only one to visit your booth being the art teacher.
Ms. Carrington who would ask questions and ignore the tears that pooled in his eyes before helping him pack everything up, sometimes even driving him home because of course neither his parents or Bruce could be bothered to pick him up.
He can't really help the envy that he can feel building in his chest mixing with a good chunk of repressed anger.
A elbow being jabbed into his ribs distracts him.
"Hey what's with the face? Perk up Boy-Loser it's Damian's night."
He turns to Steph the smile that he had been attempting to plaster on falling. It's such a stupid thing it's a nickname so what if it's demeaning, he gets called pretender or replacement by Jason what does it matter.
"Do you ever think it's kinda fucked up that not a single person in this family calls me anything that isn't an insult?" He snaps.
She looks shocked. How fucking dare he have an ounce of self esteem. Someone alert the Media Tim Drake isn't a dormat.
He turns away sliding into the crowd.
There's less then half an hour left before he can leave. Pratically throwing himself down in the empty hallway as far as he can get from this entire night.
"Baby bird and Timmy aren't insults? Or are they I can't seem to keep up with the kids these days."
He turns, of course. You might be able to run from Batman or lie to him, but you can never escape the grasp of Big Brother Nightwing.
"So your admitting that your old?" he joins the banter.
His muscles start to unclench another superpower only Dick Grayson seems to have.
"Never, something you want to talk about?"
Does he? No. Should he? Yah.
"Maybe I just don't want be insulted every day of my life. So weird who doesn't want to be reminded they suck?"
He can hear the whine, he can also hear that everything he just said isn't gonna matter. You don't take whiny little boys seriously. And that's what he is.
"Hmm you know I get called Dickhead or really a lot of just penis related jokes. Always hated them not that it really stops anyone."
He looks finally making eye contact with his big brother. Because he's right. How many times has he heard anyone in the family other than him and Damian call Dick anything nice. Never not once. Maybe Bruce but he can't really picture it.
"Also don't think I didn't notice how annoyed you are with Bruce about this entire night, which I don't blame you for. You know I love Damian kiddo, but yah Bruce is not winning a mug from me or you."
He doesn't really want to acknowledge any of that already exhausted and he will have to apologize to Steph and if he opens the box it will be a car ride from hell home.
"Luckily for you I have a car parked a block up we can escape get ice cream and have a nice sleepover in bludhaven."
He wants to so bad, he wants to throw himself at Dick who knows him so well, who followed him out here, who isn't blinking, the only adult who has ever not somehow fucked him over.
"What about Damian? He will be pissed at me for stealing you or something. He doesn't need another reason to stab me."
He turns to look back at the floor.
"Foolish Drake I will be coming with you Father is being insesently annoying and I much rather talk about art with someone who has a brain cell."
Both him and Dick whip around to see Damian standing there a slight blush on his face hesitation making the corner of mouth twitch. He sees Dick looking on unsure. He doesn't hesitate.
"Thank god I know a great place with that Vegan Cookie Dough you like. What you waiting for Big Bird? Let's go. "
Climbling to his feet he grabs Dick and Damian dragging them to the exit he hears Dick's confused muttering sharing a secret smile with Damian before ignoring it.
The night is finally looking up.
#Tim Dick and Damian are the best trio argue with the wall#Don't picture Damian who saw his favorite people leave and immediately was ready to book it also don't imagine Damian listening#working up the courage to try and go with them#but do imagine the other batfamily members looking very confused when they are all gone#tim drake#dick grayson#batfamily#jason todd#bruce wayne#damian wayne#I used Stephanie because in the comics she calls Tim like a lot of kinda iffy nicknames she is usually joking but I wanted to make a point#batfam#batman#dc
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OOOOH Can i hop on the dr!rem train?!?! I would love to see how he is with someone who just doesn’t really take care of themselves. Like if something’s hurting they just power through. But of course he’s a dr so he’d know 🤔🤔💕💕💕💕
Ofc you can! This is precisely what I need him for haha. Also, when I wrote this my foot was still really hurting and now it feels tons better, so I think writing for him is healing me! Thanks for requesting my love <3
Doctor!Remus x fem!reader ♡ 1.1k words
Remus looks up from his laptop when you hold a bowl of pasta up in front of him enticingly. “Aw, thanks, sweetheart,” he says, taking it from you. He’s been so caught up in his paperwork he hadn’t even heard you bustling around in the kitchen, but you’d been thoughtful enough to bring him his dinner on the couch rather than call him to the table. “You’re too good to me. I’ll be finished here in a minute.”
“It’s no problem,” you say with a smile. “Oh, I forgot I made you tea, too. Just a second.”
You go back towards the kitchen, and Remus thinks to go back to his laptop for the interval of your absence, but something about the way you’re moving catches his attention. You’re walking oddly, shifting an almost imperceptible amount of your weight to one side. It’s not quite a limp, but there’s a stiffness there.
You disappear into the kitchen for half a second, and Remus watches you carefully when you return. Your strides are as quick as if nothing were amiss, but there’s definitely something bothering you. It doesn’t look like the problem is in your foot, or your knee, but maybe your hip…
You pass him the tea, and Remus takes it quickly, chiding you for holding the hot part to pass him the handle. You roll your eyes as you sit, constantly discounting what you consider to be your boyfriend’s overcaution. You never worry about yourself, Remus thinks. Everything that happens to you is secondary, of little concern compared to whatever’s going on with everyone else. You don’t watch out for yourself, and you don’t always welcome others doing it for you either. It makes being someone who loves you an occasionally worrying task.
“How was your day, dovey?” Remus asks, shutting his laptop to enjoy the meal you’ve prepared for him. “I’ve been so focussed on work I’ve barely talked to you since I got home. How are you doing?”
Your smile is tinged with bemusement, but they’re not such odd questions as to draw much suspicion. “Don’t worry about it, I know it’s important stuff. I’m good, honey, how are you?”
“I’m good too,” he says, twirling pasta around his fork and inhaling the steamy aroma of the herbs you’ve mixed in. “Fantastic, now.” You blush, looking down at your own bowl. “Do much walking around today?”
Now your brows furrow, and you bring your fork to your mouth, chewing pensively. “Some,” you answer after a while. “Why do you ask?”
“I just noticed you’re walking a bit funny,” he says as casually as he can, knowing too much attention will only lead to you belittling more than you’re already inclined. “Is there something bothering you, love?”
“Oh, yeah,” you say, looking back to your bowl as though forking your pasta suddenly requires your undivided attention. “Think I twinged something in my leg earlier. It’s not bad, it’s just one of those things, you know? I’ll wake up tomorrow and it’ll be fine.”
It takes a heap of willpower to keep Remus from rolling his eyes. That’s your go-to reaction anytime something’s bothering you: power through and hope it goes away on its own. As someone who knows better, it nettles him incessantly. “Why didn’t you say something earlier? I might be able to help.”
“Because it’s not a big deal,” you say through a mouthful. “Anyway, you were busy.”
“Never too busy for you,” he hums, setting down his plate to lean closer to you, and fine, he’s pandering. If making light of this is what’s going to get you to let him help, that’s what he’ll do. “Let me have a look?” he asks you sweetly.
You look at him, sucking a stray noodle into your mouth. “What, now?”
“Sure,” he says, already moving to perch on the coffee table across from you. “Just to make sure that it’s fine and I don’t need to run to the drug store before it closes or anything.”
You sigh like you’re doing him a big favor. “Okay, but it’s really not bad. You don’t need to worry.”
He hums noncommittally. “Straighten your leg out for me?” You do, and he takes your foot in his hand. “What part hurts, dove?”
“Kinda, like—” You strain to lift one hip off the couch, touching the back of your thigh, “—like, all down here, ish.”
Remus cocks his head. “Does it hurt when you flex your foot?”
“A little,” you reply, nonchalant.
He nods, standing. “Okay, I think I get the picture,” he says. “Lay down for me, please?”
You give him a deadpan look. “Rem, I’m just trying to eat.”
“It’ll only take a second.”
With an eye-roll that you make sure he sees, you set your plate down next to his on the coffee table, laying on your back. Remus sits by your feet, lifting one of your calves so he can see the back of your thigh. He runs a knuckle over the skin there, noticing it’s a bit more swollen than your other leg. “Here?” he asks you.
“Yeah.”
Remus laughs silently at the sudden tight quality to your voice, thinking he knows the cause. He takes a detour to test his theory, migrating his touch further down until his knuckle skims the crease of your buttcheek.
“Careful,” you murmur, tone slightly teasing.
Remus tries and fails to suppress his grin as he forces himself back on task. “It looks like it’s your hamstring,” he says. “It’s a bit more swollen, but in a lot of cases there’ll be bruising too, and I don’t see any of that. Do you remember when you hurt it?”
“Mhm.”
Remus decides not to question you further on that for now; he’ll lecture you on telling him these things more quickly later. “Did you hear any sort of popping noise?”
“No,” you say, sounding unsure. “I think I would’ve noticed, right?”
“You would have,” Remus reassures you, relieved. “It’s probably just a pulled muscle, then. I’m going to test it really quickly to be sure, okay?”
“Okay,” you say warily, and Remus has you flex your foot, taking your leg in both hands as he straightens it and lifts it upward. You hiss, and he stops.
“That hurts?”
“Yeah.” Your voice is tight again, now for the wrong reasons, and Remus lowers your leg carefully.
“Alright, sorry.” He kisses your knee. “Well, at least it shouldn’t take too long to heal. I’ll get you an ice pack when we’re done eating, and I want you to elevate it and take ibuprofen.”
You sit up, clearly ready for your boyfriend’s mollycoddling to be over as you grab for your bowl. “Already am,” you say with a smile that Remus supposes is meant to be reassuring. Instead, he frowns.
“Sweetheart.” He gives you an admonishing look. “You were taking painkillers for this and you weren’t going to tell me about it?”
“Don’t be mad at me,” you say lightly. “I made you pasta.”
Now it’s Remus who’s sighing laboriously, pressing a reluctant kiss to the side of your head. “I suppose that does make up for everything, doesn’t it?”
#doctor!remus#doctor!remus lupin#doctor!remus x reader#doctor!remus x fem reader#remus lupin au#remus lupin#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin x you#remus lupin x fem!reader#remus lupin x y/n#remus lupin x self insert#remus lupin fanfiction#remus lupin fanfic#remus lupin fic#remus lupin drabble#remus lupin scenario#remus lupin imagine#remus lupin oneshot#remus lupin one shot#marauders au#marauders#the marauders#marauders fanfiction#marauders fanfic#marauders fic#marauders fandom#hp marauders
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“Simon?”
Soap’s tone is gentle, light. It’s warm and inviting, a soft prompting for a reply that only has Ghost wanting to bury himself further into Soap’s hold within the comfort of their bed.
“What’s’t, darling?” Ghost mumbles, throat scratchy and rough with sleep. He sighs deeply, wishing to sink all the way into the mattress. Mornings with Soap always felt peaceful in a sense he never knows otherwise.
Soap hums, breath skating over Ghost’s skin as he moves his mouth closer to Ghost’s ear. He presses a chaste kiss to the hinge of his jaw before whispering in that same tone as before, “Need you to move your fat arse off my arm, Simon. It’s gone numb.”
Ghost scoffs, though he can’t be bothered to throw a haphazard arm back to swat at Soap like he might another morning. Instead he only makes it clear he wouldn’t be budging any time soon.
“You’re a strong man, Johnny,” he says. “Smart one, too. Figure it out yourself.”
Soap gives an experimental tug on the arm that is trapped beneath Ghost if only to prove the point that he had already tried his own solution when his limb remains in place.
“Just roll over a bit,” Soap insists. “I need to be able to feel my arm if you ever want me to jerk—“
This time, Ghost untucks his pillow from under his head and hauls it over his shoulder to smack an indignant Soap in the face. He bites his cheek to keep back a grin, but can’t help the way his shoulders shake in silent laughter.
“You’re insufferable, Simon Riley,” Soap hisses, though the words hold no real malice. Ghost feels merciful enough to shift over just a little so that Soap can finally free himself.
“You never had to go out with me,” Ghost retorts. He nestles beneath the covers again, already halfway to drifting back asleep. “So whose fault is it really, Johnny?”
“Och.” Soap swats at Ghost’s shoulder with his newly freed hand. “It’s yours for fallin’ in love with me.”
A quiet yawn drags out Ghost as he tucks his pillow back in its place. “Whatever helps you sleep at night.”
Soap snorts. “Not spoonin’ you, that’s for sure.” The bed frame creaks with his weight as he leans forward to plant a proper kiss on the crown of Ghost’s skull. “I’ll wake you when breakfast’s ready, if I ever get this lousy arm to work again.”
Ghost listens to the gentle pad of Soap’s feet against the hardwood as he leaves the bedroom for the kitchen, laughing quietly to himself at Soap’s complaints.
And as the sounds of Soap milling about their flat begin to fill the air, Ghost falls back asleep with a faint, but fond smile on his lips.
#ok i lied one more post#morning conversations except they can’t be perfect and domestic ever#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#soapghost#ghost x soap#ghostsoap#ghoap#writing
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