#it’s just the little acknowledgments as we pass each other on the internet

[katiemcgrathisdaddyaf]

I love you tumblr mutuals

[sterredem]

enough for you

Lando norris x ex!Singer!reader

Face claim Olivia Rodrigo

Warning comparison, angst (not really), not proofread, spelling mistakes (as always)

Summary basically just the song enough for you

A/N no part 2. I really love this one. It’s a bit short but still one of my favs.

Don’t forget to repast and comments. And dead back is also welcome❤️💜

Twitter

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Real life

Y/n was miserable. That was to say the least.

While her relationship with Lando was at the beginning beautiful now it was… not. As the internet has seen she has changed herself. She begin to where make up. That was because she thought if she looked like the people he had dated before he would like her more. All that and all the hundreds of dollars spent on make up only for him to say he wasn’t the ‘compliment type’.

She also began reading his self-help books. That was because she wanted him to think she was smart- she was. That was besides the point, but she wanted her to seem intelligent in the things he read too.

Besides those things she did some things that he would like; she learned his coffee order, and how you can make. And she learned all his favourite songs. She now knew all of them by hard.

And still, with all that. He was an asshole. Sure he wasn’t mean but he could surtenly be nicer. Because while y/n did all those nice things, Lando just couldn’t get himself to appreciate it or acknowledge what she did.

And that is how she ended up here. Crying on the bathroom floor after she realised everything he did wrong. She realised it after seeing the comments left on her newest YouTube vlog. After that she also saw some twitter threads and then everything hit her. He was in the wrong, not her.

And she was done.

After a few hours of self pity she decided that it was time to get ready. What was she getting ready for you ask? A date with Lando…

Yeah maybe that wasn’t the best idea.

But she stood up and made herself look presentable. After waiting a few more minutes the doorbell rang and she walked to the door. There he stood. He looked good. But she knew what was to come. They greeted each other kind of awkwardly. They both knew that their relationship wasn’t the same as before.

They walked to his car and got to a restaurant where the date was.

That part of the date was alright. The part where it got wrong was when they both returned to the girls house. She invited him in and he took the invasion.

Once in and seated on the couch Lando began talking “Y/n I am so sorry to do this to you.” He began.

“Can you just get to the point?” The girl cut him off. She already had teary eyes.

“Alright. I want to break up. We just aren’t the same anymore. You are never satisfied with anything I do, and I just don’t love you anymore. I care about you as a friend, but not as a partner.” Lando said. It almost looked like he was trying to fake cry. But that happened more than once. Y/n had just accepted that he didn’t have much emotion for her once the 1 year mark passed. And that was 1 year ago.

Y/n was speechless. Well not really. But all what he had to say was ether insulting him, screaming at him or saying things she will regret. So she just waited till he soos something else. She knew that there will be something else. Thief relationship was more complicated to just leave because he ‘didn’t love her anymore’. She knew that.

“Y/n, say something. Please.” She didn’t. He repeated the sentence a few times. Every time he said it a bit louder. Until he was almost screaming. “Say something dammit! Be mad at me, scream at me, punch me. Anything! Just not silence.” Lando said. She had a suspicion why.

“Why Lando?” She whispered. Lando almost didn’t hear her. But he did. And he had a questioning look on his face.

“Why what?” He asked aloud. His voice a little softer than before.

“Why don’t you love me anymore? What is it? I know these is more to the story than you are saying.” She said. She was now talking aloud.

“I- Y/n. I am so sorry.” He said. He didn’t want to say it out loud. “I-“

“Just say it Lando! I deserve to know. You are breaking up with me. Just let me know why.” The girl said.

“Y/n. I don’t want to hurt you.” The boy said. She gave him a look. “Alright. I just- I haven’t loved you for some time. And so I just began talking to some people. And there was this girl- we didn’t do anything. But I have come to love her. I just- I am so sorry Y/n.”

That was the breaking point for the girl. She had a suspicion about it but him really saying it hurt. “Please just leave.” She said. She was now almost crying.

Lando took the hint and walked out of the room. He walked back with some paper towels for her and placed it on a table. “I will go home. I will bring your things at my house to your friend. Can you maybe packs a box with mine? You can just drop that off at mine when I am away on a racing weekend. I will put the keys of your house on the table by the front door.” Lando explained. With that he walked out of her house and placed the key on the table.

When she heard the door close she broke down. At this point she was filling crying. He found someone more exiting. All the things he had said hurt hear deep down. All she had ever wanted was to be enough for him.

Maybe she just wasn’t as interesting as all the girls before. But still- he couldn’t have cared less. She loved him more than she had ever loved someone else.

After a few more minutes of crying she stared thinking again. She didn’t want his sympathy she just wanted herself back.

She didn’t just broke her hard- he broke so much more.

She needed to think about something else. She first needed to poor her heart out and then get a distraction. But how could she do that best?

She had an idea. So she walked towards her music studio, grabbed her notebook and began writing. She sat there for a few hours. Writing, making melodies, recording voice notes and music notes. Until she almost had a whole song.

After that she called het best friend for a distraction. But not befit she had sent all the notes to her producer.

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Instagram

Liked by TaylorSwift and 4.836.836 others

Yourusername ‘Enough for you’ out now! This is a song that is very close to me. I wrote this song a time of my life where it felt like there was no hope. I hope that you will all love this song as much as I do💜

View all 206.835 comments

Taylorswift Amazing song💜

SabrinaCarpenter A real masterpiece

Y/f/n 💜💜

Charles_Leclerc Another banger Y/n!

LewisHamilton Great job Y/n👏

OscarPiastri Always a great song when it is an Y/n y/l/n song

Maxverstappen1 We do love the song as much as you💜

Carlossainz55 Isn’t that good waste?

User1 OMG SO GOOD!!

User2 SO THIS IS ABOUT LANDO??? I am now a Lando hater!

User3 OMG! There are so many drivers in the grid! I think Lando last almost all his on grid friends!

User4 BANGER

User5 💜💜💜💜💜

User6 THIS SONG IS JSYRBYSCEJSGENAUS

User7 WE LOVE IT💜💜

User8 I love how supportive her friends are (the singers and drivers)

User9 AAAAHHHH

User10 Do we maybe get moreee????

User11 YOU FOUND SOMEONE MORE EXITING

User12 THE NEXT SECOND YOU WHERE GONE

User13 This song really hits hard after a break up

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[vividzzxz]

can you do a one shot of best friend! beomgyu x reader?

and maybe where they’re both in denial of their feelings but they realize it (idk how)

Sure !! And also sorry for the long wait, I was travelling and couldn't get internet access in most places.. But thanks for waiting.

Finding Love in Memories

Beomgyu and Y/N had always been inseparable. Their friendship was the stuff of legends—unbreakable, effortless, and filled with the kind of camaraderie that made everyone around them a little envious. They shared everything from childhood secrets to late-night conversations about their dreams and fears. But as time passed, an undercurrent of something deeper began to stir between them, though neither was ready to acknowledge it.

One summer evening, Beomgyu and Y/N decided to visit their favorite lakeside spot, a place they had frequented since high school. The setting sun cast a golden glow over the water, and the air was filled with the gentle hum of cicadas. They laid out a picnic blanket and sat down, their legs brushing against each other in a way that felt oddly comforting.

“I can’t believe it’s been so long since we’ve been here,” Y/N said, her voice tinged with nostalgia. She looked out over the lake, her heart feeling both light and heavy at the same time.

Beomgyu nodded, reaching for a sandwich. “Yeah, those were some good times. It’s nice to just relax and be here with you.”

Y/N glanced at him, her gaze lingering a little longer than usual. She felt a flutter in her chest, a sensation she couldn’t quite place. She quickly shook it off, attributing it to the warm summer breeze. “I’m glad we’re still doing this. Even if we’re both way too busy with our lives.”

Beomgyu chuckled, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “Yeah, we’ve managed to keep this tradition alive. It’s one of the few things that feels… consistent.”

As they chatted and laughed, the evening wore on, and the sky turned into a canvas of pinks and purples. Y/N found herself drawn to Beomgyu’s laughter, his easy manner, and the way he looked at her as if she was the only one in the world. She felt a twinge of something that she quickly dismissed.

After a while, Beomgyu turned serious. “You know, I’ve been thinking about us. About how we’ve been friends for so long.”

Y/N’s heart skipped a beat, but she forced a casual tone. “Yeah? What about it?”

“Well, I was just wondering… do you ever think that we’re maybe… too close? Like, maybe we should be branching out more? Meeting new people?”

Y/N’s heart sank slightly, though she tried to mask her disappointment with a laugh. “You mean like dating? I suppose it’s something we could think about. But honestly, I’m pretty happy with how things are.”

Beomgyu seemed to nod in agreement, though there was a flicker of uncertainty in his eyes. “Yeah, me too. I mean, it’s not like we need to change anything. We’ve got a good thing going.”

As the days turned into weeks, the subtle tension between them grew more palpable. They were both undeniably attracted to each other, but neither wanted to admit it. Their friendship was too precious, and the fear of ruining it kept them in denial. They went on with their lives, dating other people and pretending that their feelings were purely platonic.

One evening, Beomgyu invited Y/N to a small gathering at his apartment. It was a casual get-together with friends, but Y/N noticed something different about Beomgyu’s demeanor. He seemed distant, preoccupied. She couldn’t help but worry.

“Hey, you’ve been a bit off tonight,” she said softly as they stepped out onto the balcony for some fresh air.

Beomgyu sighed, leaning against the railing. “It’s nothing. Just… I’ve been thinking a lot about what we talked about.”

Y/N’s heart raced. “About us?”

“Yeah.” Beomgyu’s voice was almost a whisper. “I’ve been trying to figure out why I keep feeling like something’s missing, even though I’m surrounded by people.”

Y/N’s breath caught in her throat. “You think it’s about us?”

Beomgyu met her gaze, his eyes searching hers for answers. “Maybe. But I don’t know. I mean, we’re so good as friends. Why complicate things?”

Y/N looked away, feeling a pang of hurt. “Yeah, maybe you’re right.”

The conversation left both of them feeling more confused than ever. The next few days were tense, with each trying to suppress their feelings and pretend that everything was normal. But the more they tried to ignore it, the more they realized how much they meant to each other.

Few days later, Beomgyu arrived at her house in the evening without informing. They arrived at a quaint wooden bench under the natural canopy of a large oak tree a few steps away from her home. Beomgyu sat down and motioned for Y/N to join him by patting the spot next to him. She took a seat next to him, and for a while they just sat there, side by side, the comfort of each other's warmth greater than the warmth of the fall sun.

Beomgyu's voice broke the silence, soft and tentative. “Y/N, have you ever wondered if there’s something more to our friendship? Something that we haven’t explored yet?”

Y/N turned to look at him, her heart skipping a beat. “What do you mean?”

He took a deep breath, his gaze steady. “I mean, I’ve been thinking… maybe we’re not just meant to be friends. Maybe there’s something deeper, something that could turn into something beautiful.”

Y/N’s breath caught in her throat. She had been feeling the same way, but the fear of risking their cherished friendship had held her back. But now, with Beomgyu’s heartfelt confession, the fear seemed to melt away, leaving only hope and possibility.

She reached out, gently placing her hand over his. “I’ve been feeling the same. I didn’t want to ruin what we have, but maybe… maybe it’s worth exploring.”

Beomgyu’s eyes softened, and he turned his hand to intertwine his fingers with hers. “I’ve always felt like we had something special. And I’d love to see where this could lead us.”

They sat there for a while longer, their hands linked and their hearts open. The stars began to twinkle above them, as if the universe itself was celebrating their newfound connection.

As the days turned into weeks, Beomgyu and Y/N’s relationship blossomed into a tender romance. They shared sweet moments, from stolen kisses beneath the moonlight to quiet evenings wrapped in each other’s arms. Their love story was a gentle melody, a song composed of shared dreams and whispered promises.

One evening, as they lay on the same blanket where they had once watched the meteor shower, Beomgyu turned to Y/N with a soft smile. “Remember how we used to wish on shooting stars?”

Y/N nodded, her eyes reflecting the starlight. “Yes.”

Beomgyu took her hand and kissed it softly. “Well, I wished for you. And I’m so glad that wish came true.”

Y/N’s heart swelled with love, and she leaned in to kiss him, her lips meeting his in a tender, heartfelt embrace. In that moment, under the canopy of stars, Beomgyu and Y/N knew that they had found something extraordinary—an everlasting love that was as deep and enduring as the night sky itself.

And so, their story continued, a beautiful romance born from the magic of friendship, woven together by the threads of serendipity and the promise of forever.

✧( ु•⌄• )◞*◟( •⌄• ू )✧

-Note

I take requests for writing...

It can be from Skz, Svt, TxT, En-.

It can be based on smut, fluff, etc.

[mllemaenad]

Not that you are by any means the worst offender in this regard, but it rubs me ghe wrong way how much leniency the NCR gets when it comes to considering the effects of their actions, and perhaps more importantly, their intentions.

Groups like Caesar's Legion, The Brotherhood of Steel, House's factions, The Unity, The Enclave, and The Institute are treated as villains if anyone is even indireehurt because of them.

If two human surface-dwellers kill each other in Diamond City, people blame the Institute.

If the White Legs emulate Twisted Hair cultural traditions without fully understanding them, Ulysses blames the Legion.

And yet... the NCR is treated by fans as well-intentioned and good-natured despite the harm they cause. The situation in Nipton was the fault of the NCR. Its corrupt Mayor was from the NCR. The Powder Gangers were only in the Mojave because the NCR moved them there.

Vulpes set up his lottery (not that I'm saying it was a perfect solution) to address a problem that had gotten out of hand, a problem downstream of the NCR... and yet most fan discussions blame the Legion for what happened in Nipton.

ThevNCR seems to get a pass because people see their goals as noble... but their goals are to recreate the exact conditions that caused the Great War!

We see the exact same phenomena in pre-war terminals as we do in contemporary NCR. A government more obsessed with maintaining its own power than solving problems, a corrupt justice system that favours the wealthy, an obsession with democracy that makes decisions slow and bureaucratic, and a rapacious desire for resources that leads to expansion and conflict eith other factions.

Why is Caesar condemned for his ego, and his shortsigtedness, but Kimball is not?

Why is Roger Maxon blamed for creating an organisation that has hurt people, but not Aradesh?

Why is Justin Ayo blamed for his secrecy and lack of trust, but not Colonel Moore?

It's a double-standard. Others are blamed for trying something new, the NCR gets carte blanch to repeat old mistakes!

Hi, anonymous person.

So ... I've read this, and I've read it again, and again after that and ... I'm a little puzzled about what's bothering you. The NCR is broadly attempting to feed, clothe and house hundreds of thousands of people ... and fans tend to give them a little more leeway when they fuck up than they do, say, the Enclave, which is a fascist organisation bent on global genocide and this is ... bad?

Honestly not really seeing the problem there.

I've barely written anything about the NCR, and certainly not in depth character profiles of the people you bring up, so I'm not completely sure why this is directed at me. If you're saying that there are fans who refuse to acknowledge that the NCR has flaws ... well, I haven't met those people, but if you look for an opinion on the internet you'll probably find it, so I'm not going to try to claim they don't exist. I've seen people claim women don't play Fallout, which is kind of a problem, from where I'm sitting. :)

But. Well, okay.

It's a double-standard. Others are blamed for trying something new, the NCR gets carte blanch to repeat old mistakes!

Nobody's trying anything new. That's kind of the point here. War never changes. Just to do the main antagonists ...

Richard Grey/The Master is just doing eugenics with a sci-fi twist. He's going to forcibly convert everyone who can be into a super mutant, and prevent any remaining humans from breeding. One of the ways to beat him is to tell him that his "master race" is sterile. It's a horrifying plan.

The Enclave are American fascists. They believe that only their people are truly human and that everyone else should literally die.

Edward Sallow/Caesar is ... I mean he's just cosplaying as Caius Julius Caesar because he thinks it looks cool. That's an actual human being who lived, and who quite famously got stabbed to death. More historical precedent than you could shake a gladius at. Sallow got over excited when he read Caesar's Commentaries and decided he wanted to be Caesar. Presenting "doing ancient Rome" as new is ... certainly something, and particularly hilarious as a plan for a civilisation given the decades long clusterfuck that was the fall of the Roman Republic, plus fun subsequent imperial followups like "the year of the four emperors".

The Institute has just reintroduced slavery, only this time let's 3D print the people instead of abducting them so literally no one will care what we do to them! They also lean into the idea that they are the only real people, although they are not quite as committed to this as the Enclave.

What's new and exciting here that I should be willing to give a try? They're all old ideas, and ideas that seem to involve a lot of genocide, enslavement and general misery for anybody who isn't part of a specific in group.

Vulpes set up his lottery (not that I'm saying it was a perfect solution) to address a problem that had gotten out of hand, a problem downstream of the NCR… and yet most fan discussions blame the Legion for what happened in Nipton.

I ... what? Yeah, I'm going to disappoint you here. The massacre at Nipton was the Legion's fault because they were the ones who walked in there and, you know, massacred people. Mayor Steyn was absolutely engaging in a round of "play stupid games, win stupid prizes" and if anybody tries to argue that he was competent I will dispute that wholeheartedly. But there was only a massacre because the Legion actively set one up.

There's political corruption in Nipton, but the problem of the Legion is that they think a lottery that decides who gets beheaded, who gets crucified and who gets sold into slavery is some sort of solution to that problem, rather than an atrocity. That's why they're still the bad karma choice, even if the NCR is kind of fucking things up.

Also ... ha. I promise you imitating ancient Rome is not going to solve your political corruption problems. I mean ... I know Vulpes Inculta makes his little speech, but Rome never did solve the problem of profiteering governors and corrupt politicians. This is not a problem that is going to miraculously disappear under Legion rule. And the idea of Rome somehow getting rid of prostitution is just ... Honestly, Caesar's Legion would be hilarious if you didn't have to have these conversations standing next to people dying on crosses.

If two human surface-dwellers kill each other in Diamond City, people blame the Institute.

... Diamond City is run by the Institute, under the synth-replacement of Mayor McDonough. The leadership actively plays up the paranoia in the city by refusing to investigate disappearances. The particular scene you are describing is paired with one that occurs in Goodneighbor, where the neighborhood watch is able to accurately identify a synth infiltrator – because they are not Institute run.

It's also a feature of gameplay that an inhabitant of one of your settlements may be a synth infiltrator and become hostile to the other settlers. So I'm pretty sure people are blaming the Institute for things they're doing.

If the White Legs emulate Twisted Hair cultural traditions without fully understanding them, Ulysses blames the Legion.

... The Legion massacred Ulysses' people. They enslaved some and crucified the rest along the roadside, like Spartacus's army of old. That's why he's the only one left who understands what the braids mean. His reaction is somewhat unfair to the White Legs, yes, who had no way of knowing what they were doing was wrong ... but I can't see why blaming the Legion would be a problem. They did, in fact, exterminate his people.

ThevNCR seems to get a pass because people see their goals as noble… but their goals are to recreate the exact conditions that caused the Great War!

There's a line I like, that Deacon says in Fallout 4.

I never really much cared for the Minutemen. The idea sounds great. But you give small men big power and sometimes you'll pay for it. –Fallout 4, Deacon Miscellaneous Dialogue

In the context of Fallout 4, the Minutemen are the scrappy underdogs you root for. They're helping to rebuild the shattered settlements of the Commonwealth and they're a potential source of resistance against the Institute. But if you talk to Preston, you get hints of the politics and infighting that brought them down the first time. There's no reason that couldn't happen again. They could become a controlling and exploitative organisation.

Do I think that means you shouldn't work with them? No, of course not. You deal with the situation in front of you. You try to support the people who aim to make life better for everyone.

If we roll back around to the Commonwealth in Fallout 8 or something (assuming I haven't died of old age by then) and the Minutemen have become a military dictatorship ruling the people with an iron fist ... well, we go deal with the fucking Minutemen then.

Deacon's right about the threat, but if you don't take the chance on trusting people, you never build anything.

It's a thing in Fallout. War never changes. There are some truly evil, terrible ideas that turn up again and again and need to be slapped down. But there is no perfect Utopia on the other side of it. There are just communities banding together to try and make it work. What stops them from going bad? Nothing. It can always happen. You make the best choices you can in every story, given what you have to work with.

Or you do an evil playthrough. Your choice. Not my business.

The NCR is supposed to hurt. Watching them fail is supposed to hurt. It's no good if it doesn't hurt. No one cries when you blow up the Enclave. That's a job well done. You can't say good things about them.

The point of the NCR is that you can. They have some runs on the board! Democracy! Agriculture! Education! You want them to make it work. And yeah, it lets you ask much more interesting questions like: how many fuck ups do we let slide?

We don't need the Enclave, or the Legion, to fuck up to know they're bad news. Their goals are bad. We want them gone. But with the NCR ... how much bad are we okay with, to keep the good?

You haven't given me any examples to work with, so I can't reasonably speak to what fans say. But I don't think the games give them any sort of uncritical pass. Fallout New Vegas is ... absolutely about the problems of colonialism and aggressive expansionism. It's very clear that the NCR has not made good choices recently. The game gives you a lot of room to figure out what you want to do about that, and no answer is perfect.

It's only with regard to the Legion specifically that it's an obviously moral choice – and they level the playing field for you there. Both the Legion and the NCR have imperial pretensions, and those are not good. But since that specific thing is the same, well, we're supporting the people who aren't implementing mass slavery and treating women as "breeding stock", right?

If there are people who won't admit flaws in the NCR, well, yeah, I'd call them wrong. But I don't really think it's a double standard to favour a group that doesn't have "wouldn't it be great if we murdered everybody" as a core philosophy over one that does.

[bettyshoweduptotheparty]

what was it like as a gaylor before 2016?

What an appropriate question on the 10 year anniversary of the kaylor public launch at the VSFS 2013 :) As it's quite a subjective question, prepare for my gaylor/kaylor origin story 😉

I've been a more committed Taylor fan since Red came out in 2012, but because I'm in the UK a lot of the public media buzz about her has passed me by (except for the headlines about her and Harry, that was definitely a big story over here). In spring 2013 the article about her and Dianna exploded on the internet and, despite it obviously being retracted, it perked my ears up because 1. I was also a big glee fan at the time, and 2. it seemed to offer an explanation to why I found her music so relatable having just had my heart broken by a girl and all her genderless breakup songs fit that situation so well. So, I did a bit of research and quickly realised that, if she was in fact with Dianna, it would have been at the same time that she was supposedly dating Harry, as well as that Kennedy guy. No public acknowledgement of any queerness (like ever) so it was very clear to me from the start that, if she is dating women, she is doing it very much in secret. Not a great inspiration for fairly newly out me (23 at the time), so I filed that information and moved on with just her music. Didn't really think about it again until over a year later when a guy in a club decided to bully me and my then gf with the sentence 'Are you a real couple or just bffs like Taylor Swift and that model chick?' Yep, my kaylor origin story is a straight man harassing me in a nightclub. What are the odds, right? 🤭

So, because that remark somehow stuck with me (and I had no idea who that ' model chick' even was) I googled it, expecting to find something similar to the Dianna situation and my jaw hit the floor when I got pages and pages of photos of Taylor and Karlie walking the streets of NYC holding hands, smiling at each other with the biggest heart eyes. It genuinely changed my life. It may sound totally stupid and out of proportion, given that they didn't acknowledge it as a relationship (which I'm aware was doing no favours to lesbian visibility), but it did something to me to see the girl whose music I'd danced to in my bedroom when I was 16 so happily in love with another girl. I'd never seen that sort of love between two women, either in fiction or in real life, and it felt like she'd reached across the miles dividing us to tell me that it's possible, and that if she could find it (even in hiding), I could, too. And somehow it didn't matter to me what they were calling it, I could see what it was and it was everything to me. But I only had a few months to enjoy it before kissgate ruined it and of course the tabloids printed words like 'affair' and ‘scandal' and by March the next year we had Calvin Harris, then Hiddleswift, and then Joe. But at the same time, we got 1989 and rep with some of the gayest music ever written. And I found a great community of fellow queer people on here in those years that seemed to enjoy watching them and seeing their lives in the lyrics as much as I did. I’ve dipped in and out of the online space for years, lurking when there were more kind people around and disappearing when the hate got worse. It was fun to watch it all unfold in real time with people, I’m impressed that people still become new kaylors these days when there is no real time interaction and the hate from the general fanbase towards Karlie is still high since 2018. I don’t think I would be a gaylor today if I hadn’t witnessed their love in front of everybody’s eyes in that year, that really made me resilient to setbacks because I’m just so irretrievably in love with their love story. I’ve seen how Taylor lashes out when she’s cornered and scared (like she did after kiss gate) and sometimes we’re the collateral damage of that. And as much as that sucks it just shows that she’s incredibly protective of her little bubble of happiness and the more you poke the bear the more savage she’ll be in her retaliation. Do I wish she didn’t throw her most loyal supporters off a cliff every time she needs a straight excuse? Of course! But have I also hurt people I care about to protect my loved ones? Yes. So I can’t really judge. I can just take a walk when it gets too much, and wait for the soft shit to pull me back in.

So, to summarise, being a gaylor has always (and will always) have highs and lows, the public narrative is never for us, only the music is. But that's ok with me, I've learned to tune the noise out and enjoy the music, reminding myself that those songs were inspired by one of the greatest love stories I've ever accidently stumbled upon.

[lastbluetardis]

🎵 your tenrose AU ideas: 🌟🥰🤩😳🤯❣️ so big brained. i’m getting chills just by imagining each scenario. chills chills everywhere. feed us—and i mean ME—some more. pleaseeee. 🙏🏻

I'm glad you're enjoying this silly little game! I'm having a blast with it!

Song: Exile

AU Idea: God, this is a hard song to give a happy ending, but I'll do my damndest 😂 Most of this story would be quite angsty. It would be a story where James and Rose were lovers but had absolutely piss-poor communications skills, along with their own individual demons and insecurities that royally fucked-up the relationship. Rose didn't think James cared for her or their relationship as much as she did, and she tried over and over again to hint to him that there's an inequality in the relationship, and he needs to do *something* to let her know he's all-in too. But the signs go way over his head because he's a dumb, oblivious boy, who is actually very much in love with Rose, but isn't as showy or flashy with his devotion. His love is deep and quiet, like wading forward in the ocean and it's suddenly deeper than you thought.

The relationship was spiraling for quite awhile, and James somewhat noticed it but figured it was the usual bumps and hurdles of any relationship. Until one day Rose packs her bags and leaves, ending it. She gets into a rebound relationship that she ultimately doesn't care about, but she wants to hurt James as much as he hurt her with his inaction. And James is devastated, now thinking that Rose didn't care at all about their relationship if she was able to move on so quickly.

Years pass, and both of them are trying to move on, but can't help but internet-stalk each other every once in a while (usually after they've had a few drinks) to see what the other is getting up to. They watch each other fall in and out of relationships that don't last longer than a few months. But they never contact each other directly, because they're both certain that the other is over what they'd had.

Until they meet in person when a mutual friend of theirs gets married or something. They mostly avoid each other at the reception, apart from some lingering gazes and awkward closed-mouthed smiles of acknowledgement. As the night carries on, they're both steadily getting drunker, and in their drunken state, they get over-confident and stupid. James approaches Rose, unsteady on his feet, and slurs that it's a great party. She hums in agreement before knocking back a shot.

"Let's dance," he blurts, "for old time's sake. Eh? What's the harm?"

There is a lot of potential harm, but Rose is too drunk to think of them, so she agrees, because as much as she's resented him these last few years, she missed what they used to have and what they could have been. Being in his arms again is more wonderful than she'd remember, and holding her is more wonderful than he'd remembered. They slow dance, which is more of an uncoordinated back-and-forth swaying.

The alcohol is hitting Rose hard, and she rests her head on his chest, just like she used to, and all of the old hurt and anger resurfaces until she blurts, "I really fucking loved you, you know."

James, thinking the alcohol is talking, rolls his eyes and says, "Uh huh. Tell that to Rickey."

"Mickey."

"Whatever. Took you all of forty-eight hours to move on. Sure sounds like true love."

"Just because you didn't give two shits about what we had doesn't mean I wasn't allowed to move on in whatever way worked best for me."

She pushes away from him and storms off, out of the party because even though she's drunk, she knows better than to make a scene and ruin her friend's wedding day. She's almost to the lifts when she hears running footfalls behind her.

"I didn't give two shits about the relationship?! You just left! You gave up and you left!"

"Because you didn't care! For months I was begging you to do something, to show you wanted me, to show you cared about us, and you did nothing!"

"Bullshit! You never said a word until the day you left!"

"I told you about how fun a trip to the shore would be! I asked if it sounded romantic to go dancing somewhere! I showed you photographs of a little house we might be able to afford together! And you... you ignored everything!"

James barely remembers any of that, and doesn't understand why she's bringing up those moments, because that isn't even what they're fighting about. (Why are they even fighting???) When he says as much, Rose throws her hands up and says he's so useless and can't even take a hint.

"Take a hint? Take a hint??? You were feeling like this and all you gave me were hints????"

He's furious and devastated and so, so confused at the possibility that the best relationship he ever had ended because he didn't understand Rose's style of communication.

Rose is suddenly realizing what had happened all those years ago, and she's suddenly mortified to realize everything that happened was a stupid misunderstanding that had been blown out of proportion, and she hates herself, and, just a little, hates him too, but mostly she hates the world and how stupid they all are.

"Forget it," she mumbles, but he catches her wrist and pulls her toward him. She's as close as she was when they were dancing, and she smells the booze on his breath but also the cologne she'd loved so much on him. His eyes are dark and hungry, and he licks his lips, making them shine, and God she's missed him.

Before he can ask, she pulls him down by the lapels and crashes their mouths together in a sloppy heated kiss that feels better than any kiss she's had. She groans when he sucks her lower lip into his mouth the way he always knew she liked, and he moans when she scratches his scalp in the way she knows he loves. Things are getting heavy and heated and they're still in the corridors by the lifts, but neither of them seems to care.

When they come up for air, he rests his forehead to hers and whispers, "You were my one true love. And I never wanted to lose you. And I didn't know what was happening. I'm sorry. Can we try again?"

She hugs him tightly to her and says, "I'm so sorry too. Yes. I want to try again with you. See if we can get it right this time."

They do.

Send me a 🎵 and I’ll shuffle my Taylor Swift playlist

[brainlessbaguette]

Okay I'm doing a Fionna and Cake ep 2 ramble, because there is so much Finn slander rn and after binging all of Adventure Time I'm losing my marbles over this.

So heavy spoilers below

This is probs gonna be a mess and idc if nobody reads this, I just want to chuck my feelings into the void of the internet.

First and foremost I genuinely DO NOT believe Finn is using Jake's kids to replace Jake. Finn has always been very extroverted and has been shown to have separation and abandonment issues (remember how fast he freaked when fern ditched him or how weird finn sword started acting after grass sword shattered it, and just Martin). It makes sense for his character that'd he'd continue adventuring with other friends and family after Jake. We also have to remember PB and Marcie are out being together, so while I'm sure they still hang out its not as much as it used to be. I genuinely see him turning to his remaining family to see if they want to tag along. Like I could 100% be wrong, but I feel if he was using Jake's kids he would've pushed more to get TV to follow them, but instead he just asked once and then just accepted/respected TV's decision to dip.

Okay now Simon and Finn are both grieving, and neither of them are dealing with it well. Finn has clearly emotionally regressed a bit and is struggling with the loss of Jake. There were numerous times where Jake showed to be really cool with death and Finn not at all be cool with Jake dying. I wouldn't be surpirised if they never really made any progress with that problem, again pretty sure Finn has abandonment issues, so its very easy to see Jake's passing setting him back years in emotional growth. But people have been saying things like "Finn's being ignorant to Simons feelings" "He's in complete denial" "He needs to learn to be a better friend" "He's lost all of the character growth he had in the show" and I cannot deal with this. These comments are the reason I'm making this because shenanigans.

A quick play by play of the very important interaction that people seem to gloss over.

Finn meets up with Simon starting to lose his shit in the bar over Fionna and Cake. He immediately tries to calm him down and Simon freaks out a little more. Finn acknowledges this isn't about the stories and gently asks him whats wrong. Simon proceeds to tell him while clearly having a breakdown, Finn tries to calm him down and even tells him he's sorry. Presumably a "I'm sorry your feeling this way." Simon then admits some really heavy stuff and at this point Finn realizes hes way out of his comfort zone and asks if he's talked to Marcie, i.e. the person that would be able to provide more/better support. Simon brushes that off, Finn basically hits him with a "there's so much more to live for" and Simon says some even darker things, Finn looks around for help, and at this point decides to play the distraction card.

Thats still our boy! Hes damaged but not completely emotionally unaware. He also knew his limits, he looked for help when things got dark and then began to try some stuff that helped him. Like honestly if a friend was saying some of the things Simon was to me and I had no backup I'd also play the distraction card. Were they good distractions? No, not for Simon. But he was genuinely trying. He's not happy but he's staying cheery to try and get Simon in a better place. He also isn't intentionally forcing Simon to go with him, and takes him home as soon as he expresses that he's done.

Its a mess, they're a mess and are absolutley not the ones to help each other. The blindfolds in the forest or "the blind leading the blind" is the perfect expression for what this trainwreck is. They both need outside help and I think thats what we're going to see in this show. This was the first two episodes that set the stage. I imagine there will be a "Finn Mertens" episode, so like lets chill out and cut our boy some slack, at least until we see the whole story, he genuinely tried. Honestly, having just rewatched the whole show, I have a fair bit of faith in the writing team, I highly doubt they'd butcher Finn's character like that.

Anyway I'm loving this show so far, just bugged by some of the hot takes to come out of it. This is all my opinions, so I guess my hot takes? But I just wanted to stand up for the boy.

Also also, people better not be blaming Marcie for being neglectful. Shes barely been seen yet, and currently has no idea whats happening. Give it a bit.

I'm also under the impression Finn's got a separate arm for adventuring, soley because getting another major injury off camera is just kinda out of charcter for the show. But Idk maybe they're just trying something new.

[mrhaitch]

Hi Mister Haitch.

I invite you whenever you have the time to look at Mrs. Haitch in the eyes and tell her how much you love her. Maybe even have a little confession night. I know you probably already do this but it is mighty reassuring to have no doubt about anyone’s feelings.

There’s no obligation of posting anything you say to her online. Just live in the moment and acknowledge who’s there with you.

You’ll thank me in the future.

✨🌱

Okay, hopefully this is meant sincerely and as an earnest suggestion but I want to make something clear:

I do not need advice for strangers on the internet on how to love my wife, or make her feel loved. While I appreciate that I am a rare man in a space largely filled with women, many (if not most) of whom have had negative experiences with men in committed relationships - they're uncommunicative, unexpressive, unaffectionate, etc.

You also see the barest snippets of us through posts on Tumblr; your concern that we're posting for clout instead of talking to each other is...interesting.

I am not those men. Haitch hears from me, daily:

1. That I love her.

2. She's gorgeous

3. She's insane for being with me

4. Very much still gorgeous even when she frowns at me for saying so.

As well as various, near constant, forms of physical attention even if we're just passing each other while we sort out the kids. We also don't need 'confession time' because if we have a problem, we say so. We've always been open with each other.

So I appreciate why you sent this, but it isn't necessary or welcome. We're good.

[dweamofsweep]

Final few drawings from this sketchbook now that I’m recycling it! Kind of sad because this particular notebook was one I used as a little kid, it has some suuuper old and embarrassingly bad (but funny) drawings in it.

Also just going to put this here; I know something kind of blew up here over the weekend in this corner of Tumblr. Dr. Tezuka has been dead for several decades now, so we will never know exactly what “ending” he thought about for Tenma and Astro further than how they got separated and never really permanently reunited throughout his numerous re-writes and loose canon tendencies. That’s up to us to parse and make meaning of and potentially imagine beyond for ourselves as audience members of the series, which many fans have done over the years (And even any other official work done after Tezuka’s passing, like AB2003 and ATB, Pluto etc are basically the same thing). I believe we are allowed to disagree with the evaluations of media that others come up with, whether just in our heads or posted publicly! However, it is not our job to budge every last person’s opinion on the internet. We may “see” each other on a somewhat regular basis because, let’s face it, this fandom is pretty small, but at the end of the day none of us know everything that informs the meaning being made by the others — and we are not obligated to disclose such personal information for any reason, in real life or online. To give you an example and offer up something about myself, Astro as a character resonates with me in large part because he stands on the border between one group and another; although he is certainly a robot, he lives his life as a human would most of the time, creating a split between himself and other robots while still not being accepted fully into human society. It gives him a unique opportunity to bridge the two together, but as a result he can never be entirely one or the other. The reason why I find that fascinating is because I am a second-gen immigrant Asian-American, and it forms some parallels with the way I feel in my own life, having been raised more American than Asian. Also, my parents are culturally Chinese-Indonesian, but ethnically appear Chinese (as do I). I will never be fully accepted into native Chinese, Indonesian, or Chinese-Indonesian communities because I act too much like an “American” despite my appearance. I will also never be fully accepted into the American community I live in because I still cling onto some of my heritage, and of course also because of my appearance. But maybe due to my experience in both worlds, the chances have increased that I could foster greater empathy, interest, or understanding between them, and Astro gives me hope for that.

However— I wouldn’t expect anyone here to know that (or even remember after reading it — it’s fine, you can purge the info from your brain LOL) even if it does affect my readings of certain scenarios and stories. If someone were to post something that doesn’t acknowledge or reflect the perspective I have, I can feel any type of way about it, but I have to remind myself I don’t know where they’re coming from and to try not to take it too personally, since they don’t know where I’m coming from either. Maybe someone has had the exact opposite experience from me, maybe they just haven’t been in any comparable situation to begin with, they could also be a lot younger or older, or from another part of the world — on the internet you really just don’t know, and a person doesn’t really have to tell you if they don’t want to. Personally, once I’ve said my piece, I’ve said it. If someone disagrees with me over the same point repeatedly, and I considered their viewpoint but decided to retain mine, I don’t continue to engage them, because I know it gets unproductive sooner or later (neither side changes their mind or learns anything new, if anything we both just become more stubborn about our own arguments because we have to keep making the same one over and over). I do think about Tezuka’s and other artists’ work very seriously, as an artist myself and an aspiring professional, and I believe that’s a valid angle to come from. Yet I often just draw things on a whim despite the aforementioned, and as embarrassing as it is to admit, most of my drawings have very little meaning. I just post on here hoping it might make someone else a bit happier to see it; I suspect that many others in the community do the same. (Obviously if I misrepresent something severely in my own work, which I hope I will not but you never know, I want someone to tell me about it, but I didn’t think this was the case in the particular situation happening now.)

and… I will freely admit to sharing outlandish internet takes both as a kid and as an adult, then changing my mind and looking back on it, as well as my behavior in general, later with regret 😭 it will happen again, I’m sure… perhaps this is one and I should have kept my mouth shut, but I hope this at least gave some of my perspective. If you want to probe any further into my thoughts or ask for clarification you can!

[miniaturecycleduck]

I love Nynaeve's time in the arches in S2E3. Each test was very interesting and her reactions made perfect sense. Nynaeve passed the first arches because it was latently false. Her parents are long dead and though she was vibing it and loved seeing them again deep down she knew it was merely a memory. The reason why she passed the second test was because she cared. Nynaeve thought of Tam because she clearly respects Tam and of course guilt on what she think is Rand's fate. Nynaeve feels that she failed Rand and Tam. Nynaeve had not rejected the Two Rivers, she wanted to use The Tower to help them. Of course the Aes Sedai would reject this but this fits into why she initially failed the third test, she sees the good in people. Nynaeve genuinely sees the good in people. In the books the third test was a heartbreaker but easily dismissed because it is seemingly a false future, Malkier is still long dead and Lan wasn't a King...yet. In the show arches Lan gave Nynaeve an out and it was a good fake out because Moiraine basically divorced Lan anyway and Nynaeve always thought Lan would eventually see through Moiraine. The Arches gave a great and actually convincing lie.

I love the third test because it is not only Nynaeve's ideal fantasy but it wasn't a purely selfish one. Perrin and Mat were happy and fulfilled in Nynaeve's fantasy. Perrin was doing what gave him peace and didn't have PTSD flashbacks from Nynaeve's kid playing the sword game with him and Mat was happy, charming and successful as well as being loyal to Egwene. Nynaeve only wanted the best for the Emond Field 5. The reason Rand wasn't in the fantasy was because Nynaeve thinks he is dead and even though she hates Moiraine, Nynaeve believed her lie. Seeing the best in Moiraine despite her own dislike in the women like she does Mat who she clearly deeply cares about.

This is further shown by Egwene being a brave, honourable and respected Aes Sedai. Nynaeve HATES the Aes Sedai but knows Egwene really wants to be an Aes Sedai and acknowledges it and thinks she would be a success there. All Nynaeve wants is acknowledgement and this is shown by Perrin and Mat choosing to hang out with her and Egwene keeping in touch with letters. The show really kept the spirit of Nynaeve strong.

Let's contrast this with Rand's fantasy in Season 1 Episode 8. There is no Tam, no Nynaeve, no Perrin, Mat is only acknowledged as a wastrel and the only person there is a compliant Egwene. Rand rejects the fantasy as Egwene is too compliant. There is little sense of community and all this shows is Rand's dream life. No dream or ideal life for anyone else. Mat is not presented in a good light and it paints a sad picture on Rand's priorities.

Even though only a day or two passes for Nynaeve's mind the full many years passed. Nynaeve was given a good life but I think the Trolloc attack happens or something like it when a novice fails a test. The Arches will murder an interloper. I know all three deaths foreshadow amazing things to come but the manner of deaths is interesting. Mat got literally blindsided, possibly Nynaeve's thoughts on the daggers effect on her friend (Moiraine, Liandarin, Rand and Egwene don't have high opinions of Mat. Nynaeve and Perrin genuinely think the dagger was the only real darkness in Mat, an external effect). Perrin fought well but couldn't handle anything other than a one on one fight because he isn't a soldier nor a beast in her eyes, no yellow eyes. Lan was killed in a co-ordinated attack showing his status as a respected warrior. Nynaeve killed a single trolloc with a sword because she did so before, had Warder training and a bit of ego as well, we all imagined ourselves doing badass things. Nobody's perfect, not even Nynaeve lol.

Nynaeve wanted to save her daughter and not just her own skin. It was heartbreaking Nynaeve's daughter didn't materialise with her. Now that would have got the internet fan base riled up lol. I much prefer show Egwene to book Egwene. Book Egwene cares about people if they have use to her whether it be for her learning to rule or serving her. Show Egwene is still a tough wilful politican even at this early stage but she loves and cares for Nynaeve despite her own bouts of jealousy. Egwene thinks Nynaeve can be saved because of course Nynaeve can be saved, she is the most tough formidable woman Egwene ever met. Elayne was sweet as she respected Egwene's grief and wanted her to actually process it in a healthy manner. I adore Elayne and Nynaeve's friendship in the books, my favourite relationship in the books so I hope this is the start of something beautiful. I hope Nynaeve sees Elayne as a sweet kind empathetic girl despite her incredible privilege and Elayne sees Nynaeve as the brave badass who is worthy of the faith and loyalty Egwene has in her.

Best episode of the entire series so far. Let's hope it keeps it going.

[quickdeaths]

(This post is scheduled and I am not here until later tonight, if at all, since today is my move-in day at my new apartment. Still, I couldn't let the first day of Pride pass without observation since Queer Content is one of the load-bearing pillars of this entire blog. General Pride content in two parts underneath the cut.)

Firstly, every character on this blog is queer in some way. Please acknowledge them, and feel free to send them whatever gay little asks you'd like.

Rio, Izumi, and Anzu are bisexual trans women. Shinobu is a trans lesbian. Tsubasa is a nonbinary lesbian. Maki is a cis lesbian. Yi-Chun, Hana, and Kiyomi are bisexual cis women. Maxi is a bisexual trans man. Kousuke is a gay cis man. Juste is a transfeminine pansexual. Persephone is a trans woman who is still figuring things out. Jason and Amour are bisexual cis men. Hela... look I don't know what her deal is but it isn't cishet probably.

Secondly, I know it might come off like a platitude, but I wish everyone a nice month and want you all to remember that you're valid. If you're worried that you're not enough or that you don't belong in the community because you don't go to parades or own tons of rainbow stuff, or because you're in a relationship or situation that doesn't seem queer right away, or because you lack the money or stability to express yourself as you want, or just because you're still trying to figure out who you are, I want you to know that you're loved, supported, and valid.

I know the world is scary right now, and I know that internet drama makes it seem like we should all be at each other's throats, but my hope for this month is that we don't let it become about which corporation feels like we're a marketable demographic, or what niche discourse dominates the internet, or which politician or influencer says some heinous, inflammatory shit, but rather the love and support that we can give each other. I'm very proud of all of you.

[probablymystories]

[retrieved 2]

I will never be twenty five again

I am blessed, and I am grateful growing up and never losing my inner child, my inner spark and most important of all my ugly laughter of joy.

2022, You have been so kind and gentle to me from the beginning to the end. I am nothing but with immensity of gratitude. This year feels like gentle breeze, gentle waves crashing and splashing with tons of sunshine. The first time in many long years I feel at home once again in my own body.

I still can recall the torment of 2017, took my first step into 20s and lost my loved one who was all along three quarters of myself. With both my grandparents gone, my world was torn apart and I was lost to pain to the point of retorting to medication for saving. I needed saving. Support system matters, kind words heal, but know when to seek professional and medical help if things really go south. It's terrifying to acknowledge that our thoughts do take forms. I did not even have enough conscience to worry that if i dwell, I will lose my future after all the things I have worked so hard for. Sadness has no bound, and it consumes you whole. With everything slowly comes together and I once more feel the life inside the veins and belong to myself again, it's a relief to finally put all the torment behind the veil.

It was a tough year, and years that followed were periods of healing. Some days were sunshine, and others were thunderstorm. "I never wanted to die, but I no longer wanted to live." was best described my grief. I spent my entire childhood with my grandparents, and with their passings, it was not just the fully grown me that suffered, but my whole happy memories of being a kid and carefree was shattered into tiny fragments. I made it each day collecting and retaining the piece. It is a work in progress. I'm not lessening the importance of others I still have in life, but when a person grieves, they lose all the big picture.

During those difficult months of covid, I came across a line from the internet 'living everyday with gratitude.' So I explored further, giving thanks to every little things in life, people who matter, and people who make you see you matter. When you were stuck at home with limited access to have fun, you spent more time with yourself. Saying this as though my entire life, I haven't already spent time with myself more than with anyone else. It definitely wasn't the best period of life or the proudest accomplishment to be remembered, but without the pandemic I wouldn't have had all the time in the word to dig within, reconnect and get to know my inner self this much. I discovered what brings me peace and what brings me pain. For certain, to put astray all the things and people that hurt. Leave them on the page we already flipped through and progress forth. I do not do the forgive-forget ceremony, I just carry on. Similarly to people who walk the grief, we don't move on, we move forward.

Being grateful for all the things that went right, people that did our heart good, and moments we were so happy that the heart inflated has been a healthy way to cope and live abide, rather than lingering over the sour experiences that wear us down. My way of seeing and living in the world has been altered as I used to be so clouded of worries and insecurities. I still have tons of them, but they cannot affect me as much. Metaphorically and of personal observance, for a plant's life, all energy are gathered and sent to that part of a new growth. Then the sprout begins to make appearance and forms another healthy stem. Very similar to the human mind, we grow thoughts we focus on. My concentration has shifted from loathing myself for everything that goes wrong, to appreciating and being grateful for every small thing that goes right. I am less heavy and I am free. Somewhat, we all want to keep having more sprouts that grow into a healthy plant.

This year, I have learned to understand and accept not only myself anymore, but all things. I learn to embrace and honor my vulnerable traits which I have been advised to work on, change, adapt, so I can become 'better', reach out and reach within, practice gratitude, learn the art of indifference, open up and connect. A child of dreams and fantasies, I continue to have faith.

It all started with a scribble from my gratitude journal:

I am idealistic and a dreamer, but for certain, I am capable of weighing opinions and decisions. I wear my heart on my sleeves, and I have done plenty of embarrassment of myself for being vulnerable and breaking down in public. I am highly sensitive and empathetic since birth and the traits seem to grow stronger as I age, but without them, I will lose the very core foundation of what makes me, me. I soften and I will continue to soften in a domain that teaches "if you want to survive, you need to toughen up".

I cry so often, and I get hurt very easily, which I despise very much because it makes me undependable and weak. But at that very same time, it allows me to fully understand and experience the fragility of life. I aspire to be nothing of great importance, but to grow old with grace and compassion.

I am grateful for everything now and for everything that will be.

You cannot really accept anyone if you haven't already accepted yourself. I am beyond words when told that around me, they feel safe. Being the harbor for others when I didn't get to have the harbor myself, that is perhaps my life's greatest milestone.

Never an act of following the bandwagon of trends or attempting to have them worn as accessories or mimicking someone of idolized figure, regardless. I just shut out the chatters and listened to the little voice from within, so i went to get my first tattoos at twenty five. The tiny drop of ink is a healing mantra. I feel light, connected and whole. It's an important takeaway, sometimes all healing we need is to listen to ourselves. We live on a borrowed time, so we might as well just do 'it'. The it can be diverse to all of us, but as long as it does not cost anyone's harm and their peace, and it makes you happy,

do.

Allow people to feel joy because being happy is a true luxury.

Learn to love and see yourself as you are, so you can do the same to others for who they are beyond the ugly, the discreet, the unwanted we all try so hard to conceal.

After all, in the vast cosmos, we're only specks of dust.

There are words from books I have picked quite a while and got to finish this year that have helped me stay afloat. I'm grateful to have have crossed those beautiful lines, experience and wise words of advice.

The beauty of what remains

Stoicism and the art of happiness

The empath survival guide

You are psychic: the art of clairvoyant reading and healing

Chatter

Attitude of gratitude

It's ok than you're not ok (my absolute favorite. a book understands me more than anyone could.)

Farewell, 2022. Farewell, twenty five.

In the years that will come, I hope to laugh just as much.

"the longer I know you, the more I don't know you"

How do I respond even. Same goes for me.

31.12.22

[groooooooot]

I will never be twenty five again

I am blessed, and I am grateful growing up and never losing my inner child, my inner spark and most important of all my ugly laughter of joy.

2022, You have been so kind and gentle to me from the beginning to the end. I am nothing but with immensity of gratitude. This year feels like gentle breeze, gentle waves crashing and splashing with tons of sunshine. The first time in many long years I feel at home once again in my own body.

I still can recall the torment of 2017, took my first step into 20s and lost my loved one who was all along three quarters of myself. With both my grandparents gone, my world was torn apart and I was lost to pain to the point of retorting to medication for saving. I needed saving. Support system matters, kind words heal, but know when to seek professional and medical help if things really go south. It's terrifying to acknowledge that our thoughts do take forms. I did not even have enough conscience to worry that if i dwell, I will lose my future after all the things I have worked so hard for. Sadness has no bound, and it consumes you whole. With everything slowly comes together and I once more feel the life inside the veins and belong to myself again, it's a relief to finally put all the torment behind the veil.

It was a tough year, and years that followed were periods of healing. Some days were sunshine, and others were thunderstorm. "I never wanted to die, but I no longer wanted to live." was best described my grief. I spent my entire childhood with my grandparents, and with their passings, it was not just the fully grown me that suffered, but my whole happy memories of being a kid and carefree was shattered into tiny fragments. I made it each day collecting and retaining the piece. It is a work in progress. I'm not lessening the importance of others I still have in life, but when a person grieves, they lose all the big picture.

During those difficult months of covid, I came across a line from the internet 'living everyday with gratitude.' So I explored further, giving thanks to every little things in life, people who matter, and people who make you see you matter. When you were stuck at home with limited access to have fun, you spent more time with yourself. Saying this as though my entire life, I haven't already spent time with myself more than with anyone else. It definitely wasn't the best period of life or the proudest accomplishment to be remembered, but without the pandemic I wouldn't have had all the time in the word to dig within, reconnect and get to know my inner self this much. I discovered what brings me peace and what brings me pain. For certain, to put astray all the things and people that hurt. Leave them on the page we already flipped through and progress forth. I do not do the forgive-forget ceremony, I just carry on. Similarly to people who walk the grief, we don't move on, we move forward.

Being grateful for all the things that went right, people that did our heart good, and moments we were so happy that the heart inflated has been a healthy way to cope and live abide, rather than lingering over the sour experiences that wear us down. My way of seeing and living in the world has been altered as I used to be so clouded of worries and insecurities. I still have tons of them, but they cannot affect me as much. Metaphorically and of personal observance, for a plant's life, all energy are gathered and sent to that part of a new growth. Then the sprout begins to make appearance and forms another healthy stem. Very similar to the human mind, we grow thoughts we focus on. My concentration has shifted from loathing myself for everything that goes wrong, to appreciating and being grateful for every small thing that goes right. I am less heavy and I am free. Somewhat, we all want to keep having more sprouts that grow into a healthy plant.

This year, I have learned to understand and accept not only myself anymore, but all things. I learn to embrace and honor my vulnerable traits which I have been advised to work on, change, adapt, so I can become 'better', reach out and reach within, practice gratitude, learn the art of indifference, open up and connect. A child of dreams and fantasies, I continue to have faith.

It all started with a scribble from my gratitude journal:

I am idealistic and a dreamer, but for certain, I am capable of weighing opinions and decisions. I wear my heart on my sleeves, and I have done plenty of embarrassment of myself for being vulnerable and breaking down in public. I am highly sensitive and empathetic since birth and the traits seem to grow stronger as I age, but without them, I will lose the very core foundation of what makes me, me. I soften and I will continue to soften in a domain that teaches "if you want to survive, you need to toughen up".

I cry so often, and I get hurt very easily, which I despise very much because it makes me undependable and weak. But at that very same time, it allows me to fully understand and experience the fragility of life. I aspire to be nothing of great importance, but to grow old with grace and compassion.

I am grateful for everything now and for everything that will be.

You cannot really accept anyone if you haven't already accepted yourself. I am beyond words when told that around me, they feel safe. Being the harbor for others when I didn't get to have the harbor myself, that is perhaps my life's greatest milestone.

Never an act of following the bandwagon of trends or attempting to have them worn as accessories or mimicking someone of idolized figure, regardless. I just shut out the chatters and listened to the little voice from within, so i went to get my first tattoos at twenty five. The tiny drop of ink is a healing mantra. I feel light, connected and whole. It's an important takeaway, sometimes all healing we need is to listen to ourselves. We live on a borrowed time, so we might as well just do 'it'. The it can be diverse to all of us, but as long as it does not cost anyone's harm and their peace, and it makes you happy,

do.

Allow people to feel joy because being happy is a true luxury.

Learn to love and see yourself as you are, so you can do the same to others for who they are beyond the ugly, the discreet, the unwanted we all try so hard to conceal.

After all, in the vast cosmos, we're only specks of dust.

There are words from books I have picked quite a while and got to finish this year that have helped me stay afloat. I'm grateful to have have crossed those beautiful lines, experience and wise words of advice.

The beauty of what remains Stoicism and the art of happiness The empath survival guide You are psychic: the art of clairvoyant reading and healing Chatter Attitude of gratitude It's ok than you're not ok (my absolute favorite. a book understands me more than anyone could.)

Farewell, 2022. Farewell, twenty five.

In the years that will come, I hope to laugh just as much.

"the longer I know you, the more I don't know you"

How do I respond even. Same goes for me.

31.12.22

[digitalactivism03]

What Happened to Pepe The Frog?: Memes As Political Weapons

Earlier this month, my classmates and I had to create our own memes. Prior to the lesson, we were tasked with a few academic texts on memes and how they can be used in a political sense. In order to understand how a meme can be used in a political context, we must first define it. According to the journal, Darwinizing Culture: The Status of Memetics as a Science, "[...] based the name for his new cultural replicator on the Greek word minieme - meaning that which is imitated[...] but was very clear that whatever is passed on when people imitate each other- that is the meme" (Blackmore, 2000).

Understanding that the meme is an imitation and that it becomes regenerated, we can now apply it to a political context. The most well-known example of a meme becoming political was discussed in our text, Internet Memes and Society by Anastasia Denisova. The text at large goes into a deep dive into meme culture and its social impacts, but specifically cites the 'Pepe The Frog' meme as one of the key examples of a meme being taken so far from its origins and made political. For background, the Pepe The Frog cartoon was created originally by Matt Furie in 2006. It was uploaded to MySpace as a simple comic with innocent origins, "In 2006, a frog named Pepe went to the bathroom to pee and put his pants down. a door opened, and another animal entered the room, catching the frog in an intimate moment. Later on, he told the frog that he saw him, 'hey Pepe -I heard you pull yer pants all the way to go pee....' The frog named Pepe responded 'feels good man" (Anastasia Denisova, 2019). From this initial comic Pepe originally became the 'feels good man' as Denisova goes on to detail. However, today's association with Pepe the frog isn't so light.

After the circulation of the meme on a popular platform called 4chan, the frog began to appropriated to express 'good feelings'. But, as Denisova explains, by the mid-2010s the frog began being used as a, "'smug green beast' who bursted out nationalist and hate-infused sentiments"( Denisova, 2019). This was especially prevalent with the onset of the 2016 U.S. Presidential Elections when many Donald Trump supporters exploited the meme and used it to endorse a nationalist agenda and further promote White Supremacism as well as Naz*sm. The reason that this is important is, is that these extremely offensive memes that were circulating the internet were acknowledged by the office of Hillary Clinton as a threat, and they issued a formal statement. These memes were important enough to be acknowledged on a large public scale by a Presidential nominee.

Memes are important cultural artifacts that carry more weight with them than we tend to think. Even the most seemingly mundane meme (like the origin story of Pepe the Frog), can be manipulated into a political and cultural weapon.

However, in a lighter sense sometimes memes can just be a commentary on a political theme. Our class's task was to make a meme about the cost of living in the U.K. currently. I've inserted mine below, as the cost of a coffee is now becoming extraordinarily expensive. Even though this meme seems like a simple, somewhat funny, point that a 'silly little treat' is expensive, it really goes deeper than that. In my opinion, my meme represents that even the little things here in the U.K. cost way too much, and treating oneself to something like a coffee is becoming increasingly more financially difficult to do, which in turn can impact one's quality of life, therefore it is a political commentary.

In conclusion, Memes no matter how mundane they may appear at first glance, can be analyzed on a deeper scale, and communicate something culturally. All Memes have the ability to become manipulated into extremely negative political weapons if they fall into the wrong hands. But at the same time, they give ordinary people the platform to express their political beliefs and share them with like-minded people.

Sources Cited:

Blackmore, S., 2000. The memes’ eye view. Darwinizing culture: The status of memetics as a science, pp.25-42.

Denisova, A., 2019. Internet Memes and Society. Many Uses of Memes From Fast-Food Media to Political Mindbombs, pp.27

[amxrany]

Alright before I begin, OP i hope you don't mind me adding more evidence to Lili's shitty behavior and all that. Also I'm not one to do this (if I lose followers because of this post then fuck it idc anymore), but I couldn't stand watching from the sidelines any longer because this is a such a prominent issue that I feel like people don't acknowledge often so it's best to spread awareness about this by either liking or reblogging (reblogs are more appreciated for more exposure).

This will contain talks about racism so this will be your little trigger warning if you're not comfortable with that. And if you support this type of behavior, do me a big favor and block me, I don't care whatever your reason is; that doesn't give you a right to act like a racist

So a little bit of some background about Lili's twt, apparently her older account (which went by the og name @/zvezdacito) was suspended (I'm not sure if this true, this is what I simply heard so feel free to correct me), which led to @/sixigfrog, which was also suspended. Her new twt is provided in the comments by someone so I don't need to add that here.

Which now leads me to dump a bit of information AND before you hit me with "why are you using old information, that means you're petty". Well, I'm sorry but these are all recent (and by recent I mean these all happened in 2022), so take this all with a grain of salt:

This girl literally has a video about her being racist on youtube

So this kinda expounds on her little "anime is just discount white people" tweet above

It's best if you watch the video since actual japanese people do call out Lili on this tweet, in which she tries to play victim

2. Her constantly using her race as a pass to be racist

The pics on top are evidence enough about this and before you attack me, I am a Filipino myself. Racism is already a prominent issue in the country to the point it's normalized. Because of how normalized it is, that's probably the reason why Lili uses that to be a racist herself? That's simply a theory so you may ignore what I just said there.

Once again, just because of your race, that doesn't give you a pass to be racist to others, you're simply contributing to the problem.

3. Her apologies are all lip service, she doesn't care about fixing her mistakes

This is will be expounding the pic where Lili fucking celebrates police brutality in HongKong (basically the one where she say that PH also suffers the same thing so they're not special, what a dick)

(Pictures are from this post)

Ah yes arguing with a racist by celebrating the problems their country is facing is definitely a good solution to this problem, she was so proud of it to the point she pinned the post but took it down once she started to get backlash over it.

I couldn't find her apology tweet about it but it was all just lip service since she still does this type of behavior 💀

And she said that SHE KNOWS how police brutality is, so why the fuck would she use it as ammunition in this type of argument? That's just plain insensitive.

Honestly there is more I would like to say about Lili's behavior (such as her death threats, harrasment campaigns, spreading of misinformation and many more) but it would be too long to fit here and I don't really have much evidence about it.

We don't know the reason for her behavior, maybe she's bored and wants to start drama, she might be hungry for clout or there's something really wrong with her that she needs professional help.

But I have said this once before and I will say this again: No matter what your reason is; that's not a green pass to be racist.

The reason why we combat racism in the first place is to make all races see each other as equals, not one race being superior over the other. What Lili is doing is using her race as a pass to be racist.

Well newsflash: No matter what you are, if you display shitty behavior on the internet, then you will obviously be called out for said shitty behavior.

I know this is such a bad way to start the year but I seriously couldn't take her behavior anymore, if there is more you would like to add then feel free. Once again, please spread awareness, it is well appreciated.

Callout Post for User @/zvezdacito, also goes by Sixigfrog on twitter.

Proof in case they change their username or twitter handle:

They have had a history of being racist about not only asians but LATAM people.

Please reblog and spread awareness, this racist asshole should not be given a platform anywhere.

[emilliewritez]

faked hatred | CC!dream x GN!reader

1.3k words, fluff.

prompt: we should run away, from @mcytwheeze 's 3K writing event!

summary: You and Dream seem to hate each other online, but really the two of you are only catching feelings

You and Dream haven’t known each other for that long, to be honest. But ever since the two of you first talked to each other, rather than using your fanbases to interact, it was clear you two were meant to know each other. It wasn’t awkward when he first reached out to you, not when the two of you first streamed together and certainly not when the two of you first talked off-stream.

It was as if you two had know one another for years, though you’d only first notice Dream’s existence when that clip went viral - a clip of Dreamwastaken talking shit about you.

And you acted like you didn’t like him, didn’t care about every time he insulted you, but you did. It only grew as time flew by - it was getting harder to pretend.

Every time you talked to Clay, you’d get excited and a smile would make its way on your face involuntarily. When chat noticed, you’d wave it away as being glad to have another opportunity to make Dream out to be not-so-nice things. But really it was just getting harder.

Dream noticed too. You were beyond shocked when one day he called you in the middle of the night, saying ��I know you don’t hate me, that little act doesn’t work on me Y/N,” or something along those lines.

Either way, Dream knew.

You didn’t like that at first, scared of what might’ve changed now. The truth is, nothing did. He didn’t acknowledge it any more and you was glad he didn’t.

But you’re not blind, or stupid for that matter! You noticed the way Dream’s voice would just go a tad higher whenever you joined the call, or how he’d try and show off just a bit more now.

Content. It was all for the content, nothing more.

But... what if it was more? You couldn’t help but hope - hope that maybe, just maybe there was a possibility he didn’t actually hate your guts.

Because you laughed and had fun but he’d mock you and after he got comfortable around you all he would do was make fun of you.

It was too believable but at the same time it was all too clear.

So when he told you, actually told you he liked your presence - you were satisfied. Beyond happy, but you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction so you said that it was cool he felt that way.

Cool?

It was cool he didn’t actually hate you?? Cool??

You hated yourself for that one - always thought about it before falling asleep, even though you knew everyone had long forgotten about it. Overthinking, am I right?

Nothing had changed on the internet - you two were in another petty fight on social media - but behind the screens, the two of you were only getting closer.

You didn’t notice it right off the bat - you only really noticed it when you were panicking over hate and your go to person was Dream. He’d helped you when you were accused of doing things you didn’t - you’d be cancelled if it weren’t for his help.

Surprisingly, nobody on the internet seemed to think of it that way. In their eyes, it was Dream’s sick mind plotting something new once again.

But you knew.

You knew he meant it when he said he didn’t mind your late call and you knew he meant it when he told you he would’ve done anything to help you then.

And you had told him he could relay on you, too. That you’d also be there for him, always.

He trusted you for those words and you proved your loyalty when he’d called you up at 3 in the morning. You were confused at first, but it all made sense when you opened Twitter to a possible leaked picture of Dream.

It wasn’t him but the negativity only scared him off to do an actual face reveal - he had apologised so many times for bothering you, but you were the only one who could possibly still be awake and he needed someone to tell him it was alright.

You had taken your time to calm him down by ranting about the most stupid things and he listened. Hours had passed, it was late and you weren’t thinking straight when-

“I never hated you, Y/N”

“I know, Clay. You’ve told me already, I know.”

Your voice was soft, comforting to Dream.

“No, listen! I mean it - when I talked shit about you on my stream, it was a stupid idea, really, but it was to get your attention. I’ve always loved your content and how brave you were for opening up about your abusive relationship, I wanted to help you and comfort you! But we had never talked before so I did that and then we talked! I’m sorry for being an asshole, it’s the only way I can say ‘I love you’. Because I do! I love you!”

“Dream you’re not thinking straight, you should get some rest.”

“No, please just, just listen. I- I don’t want to rest I want to hear you talk and, and see your smile! You make me happy, okay and I don’t want to go to sleep because I’m scared that you won’t be here anymore if I wake up. I’m scared that you’re just a part of my imagination, that you’re not real.”

“I’m real,” you smile softly, taking in Dream’s words.

“That’s exactly what I would make you say,” Clay laughs, before going quiet again and: “I’m serious, Y/N. You make me happier than anyone has ever been able to make me. I fall asleep thinking about you and wake up thinking about you, even my mom has noticed my smile throughout the day!”

“Mom’s instincts,” you mumble.

“I guess,” Dream smiles, “does that prove a point? I hope it is, I’m probably making a fool of myself.”

“You’re not, don’t worry. I just- I feel the same way, I do! But isn’t us hating each other the whole thing? I’ve gained a following thanks to your stupid attempts of getting my attention and what if they find out? That’s not going to end well for either one of us and I don’t want to just rob you from your dreams!”

And when it goes quiet on Dream’s side of the line, you thought you fucked up. Close to apologising, you didn’t expect what he had said next.

“If that’s all stopping us from being an us, then we should run away!”

“What? You can’t possibly be serious! We’ve known each other for 7 months, I don’t even know what you look like!”

Just like that, the black screen you’d been staring at turned into a white ceiling and a hand and-

And Dream.

His blonde locks were messed up, there were freckles spread all across his pale face and his green eyes were cautiously watching the screen. Watching your reaction.

“Please, Y/N?”

And when you smiled and rolled your eyes, he knew he’d won.

“Yes,” Dream yelled out in a questioning manner, wanting to have the confirmation before getting too excited.

But it stayed quiet.

“Oh come on don’t tell me you died just to avoid this,” Dream had joked.

He finally heard your adorable laugh, before you decided to share your screen with him.

“Holy fuck,” Dream wheezed.

You had searched up plane tickets to Florida and were already purchasing one.

Just a one-way ticket.

There was no way back now, but even if there was you wouldn’t change a thing.