#jeeeeezus this got long

[lastbluetardis]

🎵 your tenrose AU ideas: 🌟🥰🤩😳🤯❣️ so big brained. i’m getting chills just by imagining each scenario. chills chills everywhere. feed us—and i mean ME—some more. pleaseeee. 🙏🏻

I'm glad you're enjoying this silly little game! I'm having a blast with it!

Song: Exile

AU Idea: God, this is a hard song to give a happy ending, but I'll do my damndest 😂 Most of this story would be quite angsty. It would be a story where James and Rose were lovers but had absolutely piss-poor communications skills, along with their own individual demons and insecurities that royally fucked-up the relationship. Rose didn't think James cared for her or their relationship as much as she did, and she tried over and over again to hint to him that there's an inequality in the relationship, and he needs to do *something* to let her know he's all-in too. But the signs go way over his head because he's a dumb, oblivious boy, who is actually very much in love with Rose, but isn't as showy or flashy with his devotion. His love is deep and quiet, like wading forward in the ocean and it's suddenly deeper than you thought.

The relationship was spiraling for quite awhile, and James somewhat noticed it but figured it was the usual bumps and hurdles of any relationship. Until one day Rose packs her bags and leaves, ending it. She gets into a rebound relationship that she ultimately doesn't care about, but she wants to hurt James as much as he hurt her with his inaction. And James is devastated, now thinking that Rose didn't care at all about their relationship if she was able to move on so quickly.

Years pass, and both of them are trying to move on, but can't help but internet-stalk each other every once in a while (usually after they've had a few drinks) to see what the other is getting up to. They watch each other fall in and out of relationships that don't last longer than a few months. But they never contact each other directly, because they're both certain that the other is over what they'd had.

Until they meet in person when a mutual friend of theirs gets married or something. They mostly avoid each other at the reception, apart from some lingering gazes and awkward closed-mouthed smiles of acknowledgement. As the night carries on, they're both steadily getting drunker, and in their drunken state, they get over-confident and stupid. James approaches Rose, unsteady on his feet, and slurs that it's a great party. She hums in agreement before knocking back a shot.

"Let's dance," he blurts, "for old time's sake. Eh? What's the harm?"

There is a lot of potential harm, but Rose is too drunk to think of them, so she agrees, because as much as she's resented him these last few years, she missed what they used to have and what they could have been. Being in his arms again is more wonderful than she'd remember, and holding her is more wonderful than he'd remembered. They slow dance, which is more of an uncoordinated back-and-forth swaying.

The alcohol is hitting Rose hard, and she rests her head on his chest, just like she used to, and all of the old hurt and anger resurfaces until she blurts, "I really fucking loved you, you know."

James, thinking the alcohol is talking, rolls his eyes and says, "Uh huh. Tell that to Rickey."

"Mickey."

"Whatever. Took you all of forty-eight hours to move on. Sure sounds like true love."

"Just because you didn't give two shits about what we had doesn't mean I wasn't allowed to move on in whatever way worked best for me."

She pushes away from him and storms off, out of the party because even though she's drunk, she knows better than to make a scene and ruin her friend's wedding day. She's almost to the lifts when she hears running footfalls behind her.

"I didn't give two shits about the relationship?! You just left! You gave up and you left!"

"Because you didn't care! For months I was begging you to do something, to show you wanted me, to show you cared about us, and you did nothing!"

"Bullshit! You never said a word until the day you left!"

"I told you about how fun a trip to the shore would be! I asked if it sounded romantic to go dancing somewhere! I showed you photographs of a little house we might be able to afford together! And you... you ignored everything!"

James barely remembers any of that, and doesn't understand why she's bringing up those moments, because that isn't even what they're fighting about. (Why are they even fighting???) When he says as much, Rose throws her hands up and says he's so useless and can't even take a hint.

"Take a hint? Take a hint??? You were feeling like this and all you gave me were hints????"

He's furious and devastated and so, so confused at the possibility that the best relationship he ever had ended because he didn't understand Rose's style of communication.

Rose is suddenly realizing what had happened all those years ago, and she's suddenly mortified to realize everything that happened was a stupid misunderstanding that had been blown out of proportion, and she hates herself, and, just a little, hates him too, but mostly she hates the world and how stupid they all are.

"Forget it," she mumbles, but he catches her wrist and pulls her toward him. She's as close as she was when they were dancing, and she smells the booze on his breath but also the cologne she'd loved so much on him. His eyes are dark and hungry, and he licks his lips, making them shine, and God she's missed him.

Before he can ask, she pulls him down by the lapels and crashes their mouths together in a sloppy heated kiss that feels better than any kiss she's had. She groans when he sucks her lower lip into his mouth the way he always knew she liked, and he moans when she scratches his scalp in the way she knows he loves. Things are getting heavy and heated and they're still in the corridors by the lifts, but neither of them seems to care.

When they come up for air, he rests his forehead to hers and whispers, "You were my one true love. And I never wanted to lose you. And I didn't know what was happening. I'm sorry. Can we try again?"

She hugs him tightly to her and says, "I'm so sorry too. Yes. I want to try again with you. See if we can get it right this time."

They do.

Send me a 🎵 and I’ll shuffle my Taylor Swift playlist

[isaacapatow]

"Chicken soup for the -- jeeeeezus. I forgot all those existed." Ike chortled, pushing his chin against Jemma's nails. "Remember how they had all kinds of them after the first one got popular?" He affected an ostentatious infomercial tone, announcing, "Chicken Soup for the Student! Chicken Soup for the Janitor! Chicken Soup for the Jack Russell with one ear that stands up and one ear that flops down!" He crinkled his nose. "I never actually read any of 'em. I'd be surprised if you did."

As opposed to just knowing the reference, just like him. Between them they were a repository for all kinds of junk and nonsense, ping-ponging through pop culture touchstones like they were playing for money.

(Although that just reminded Ike of that crucial, damning game of beer pong with Mayra. He wasn't doing so good not thinking about her, all told.)

Jemma distracted him with comforting words, love repeated and reflected back, and Ike smiled up at her some more, reaching to touch just below her chin and trail his fingers down to her throat. "You'd be okay without me," he said, and then tacked on quickly, "ahhhhh-ah-ah, no, don't scold me -- I don't mean it that way. I know you'd be gutted, same as me if it was you. But you'd make it, because we worked hard to get here, and life is fucking precious. You and me both know that, and you know I'd want you to be okay. Even without me."

He shifted to sit up, snorting at Jemma's configuration of who was Mulder and who was Scully, and said, "I didn't think it would go any other way. But you get good lines too! Late seasons, not early." Joke dispatched, Ike gazed at Jemma for a moment, reaching to touch her hair, then her cheekbone, then her chin. Landmarks, constellations. A way home no matter what the Brookes ranch had in store.

One more long, soft stare to set her image, and then Ike was toeing off his socks, taking off his belt to fling it into the corner onto the bundle of his boots and jacket. He gave Jemma a smacking kiss on her cheek, with an audible mwah, and then scrabbled his long legs under her sheets, bunching one of her pillows under his head. "I'm going to bed now. G'night!"

"You help," she rushed to say. Her hand was still close enough to his face that she reached just a little further to scratch her blunt nails across his prickly jaw. "Just laying like this is like...what were those books? Chicken soup for the soul? I can feel my batteries charging back up."

She was quiet for a second, then used her hold on his cheeks to tilt his face up to look at her. "I love you back. And thank you. I know you mean it just for the sake of it, but I also know..." You don't want to repeat Ginny's mistake. "You help so much, Ike. Don't know what I'd do without you."

She didn't like his casual insistence that he was invincible, but it wasn't an argument worth making, 'cause he had the stats to back it up. "You know in that configuration, I'm Mulder, right? No way in hell Ermano believes in aliens. I would be the conspiracy theorist and Ermano would get all the good lines like, 'please explain to me the scientific nature of the whammy.'"

They were laughing now, but she still felt nervous. Still didn't want to let him go. It didn't matter that he went out there every day and risked his neck. Sending him off on a long trip felt like welcoming trouble.

[mysynthfetish]

ONDEKOZA again.

So lemme just start by saying this is the second attempt at thumbfucking this post out on my phone in the Stumblr app. First time I was almost all the way through the post when I dipped out to grab a link to a video and when I flipped back to this app guess what, fucking post had fucked off into fuck knows where. Pissed. Me. Off. Anyway.

Exactly one month ago I was visited by opportunity in the form of a Saturday work day which I was told at the last minute (on Friday) that I didn’t actually need to attend. Mental wheels started frantically spinning. What was it that I had thought about doing or going to but in the end gave up on the idea because of travel time and difficulty finding a place to stay... oh shit yeah, Ondekoza is playing kinda sorta nearby. Righty-O then. I immediately got busy contacting the boss (this woman I live with who is the mother of our children) and asked her if she minded if I took the car and fugged off for the weekend. She was like “how soon can you be gone?” Hahaha no not really. She just said sure go ahead just be careful. Then I got in touch with Naoto, the one member of Ondekoza who I talk with regularly, and asked if it’d be ok for me to drive out and stay with them and help set up and tear down for their show and whatever. A positive reply came rather quickly so a last minute plan came together and Saturday morning off I went.

They were doing workshops and fun things, as well as playing a full concert (outdoors, on a stage set up in the middle of a terraced rice field area) to bring a week-long artsyfartsy event to a close. What was the event called again? Something like Umi-no-Stage 2019 (Umi means ocean, sea or beach), featuring workshops and performances by mostly off the wall/weirdo/wacky artists (right up my alley) held in a wee rustic hamlet (so small it’s almost not on maps) called Tagarasu (literally means Rice Field Crow, I dig it) near Obama City (yes, they made a big deal outta that when Drumpf’s predecessor was in office), in Fukui Prefecture (not “fuckyouey” hahaha no, “fooh-kooh-wee”) on the Sea of Japan side. Enough parentheses in that last sentence for you? Hehe. So as you can see on the map, google maps said it would be a two hour drive if I took the non-toll roads. Lemme tell you, freeways are anything but free here. The routes on the left and right on that map had tolls of $40 and $50 each, one way, so I was like the hell with that. It was an easy drive anyway once I got out of the urban sprawl and traffic jam factory of Kyoto City itself. Then it was twisty mountain roads, fresh, cool air, and scenic routes through mountain forests and alongside rivers in valleys. I thought it quite ironic and a helluva coincidence that I ended up driving the westernmost length of a road which I had ran the easternmost part of a few weeks prior on an overnighter with the third graders for work. Here’s a shot of the road sign:

ACCIIIIIIIIIIEEED!!!!!! So before I knew it I arrived in one piece, parked at a beach access parking lot that said “$10 a day, pay at the front” but I was like “I’m with Ondekoza, can I park here? Oh by the way do you know which house they’re in right now?” And the confused looking lady in charge grabbed a guy who was event staff and had him take me to where I needed to go, and in the end I found out that the fee is for people who want to go fishing out on the breakwaters there so whatever.

No sooner had I walked in the door and exchanged greetings than they tell me “we’ve got a job for you today.” Cool. I thought they’d ask me to write up something in English, or maybe do some lettering like make a sign or something, chalk art, whatever. Nope. “We want you to play shime-daiko for a five minute or so attention-getter we’re gonna play to fire people up for tomorrow’s show. It’s a mashup of Utsu Hachijo and Yatai Bayashi. Cool?” Jeeeeezus are you kidding me? Yeah ok I’m familiar with those pieces but it’s been ages, literally 27 years since I practiced them with the then-members of Ondekoza when they came to my hometown and stayed a few weeks during the latter part of their America Marathon Tour (I think maybe it was called the Odyssey tour?). Anyway. Moro-kun (the newest/youngest member?) and I sit down and start brainstorming. We talk out the arrangement of the piece and how it will progress, then do a “rehearsal” drumming out our parts on the table there. All was good. He was sweating bullets, really nervous about the whole thing. I was like “when are we supposed to do this?” And he said “in about half an hour.” HOLY SHIT FOR REAL?! Yikes. Ok ok ok, let’s run through this one more time, cool? We did. No problem. Moro-kun was still a bundle of nerves. I was like “Right. We got this. Let’s go! It’ll all work out in the end.”

Before we were on though, a small, quite out-there modern dance outfit called Monochrome Circus put on a performance at the hamlet’s shrine, so we hit that on our way. Here’s a photo of the entrance as seen from the street:

Fantastic atmosphere. The director of the group gave a short introduction, then explained what the first performance would be. In Japan, there’s a super popular style of comic called the yon-koma-manga (four-frame comic strip). Quite like the funnies in the daily newspapers back home actually. They would set a scene somewhere within the shrine grounds, then one person at a time would enter the scene, strike a pose and freeze, until four people had entered and then the audience would be prompted to say “FINISHED!” For the first one, the group members showed what the deal was so everyone would get it. From the second one on, they asked members of the audience to join in. I ran over to the stairs you can see in the photo, whipped out my iPhone and sat down, pretending to be messing with it—an homage to the modern mindless moron that today’s society overflows with so profusely. The second person came and stood behind me looking over my shoulder. I couldn’t see where the third or fourth people ended up. FINISHED!!! This kept on for a few more rounds, then the group did a few dances, which were really nice actually, and not SO out there. Then it was time to go. Righty-O. Let’s go!

Yeah so when we got to the seawall there, I didn’t get stage fright until it was time to take off my shoes and socks and sit down in front of the drum. Biggest goof? Forgetting to take off my damn sunglasses. Duhhhhhh. At least I managed to keep in time and didn’t fuck up disastrously, though the sticks were a helluva lot thicker and longer than the sticks I’m used to (Ondekoza makes all their drumsticks by hand). But it ain’t everyday you get to play with Ondekoza, so I’m glad I had the chance.

After that we just hung out, did dinner, then walked around checking out the sunset.

Not too shabby. In the evening, a wacko but fun group called something like the Tōhoku Six Prefecture Rock-n-rollers gave a show at the same stage Ondekoza would be using the next day so we went and saw that. Fun, crazy shit. Then off to bed.

The next morning we were up by 5:45, and then it was off on the daily 6am run. Everyone split up and went off on their own though and I was like WHAAAT?! So instead of going solo and getting completely the fuck lost, I tagged along with Naoto. What a scenic run! Through tunnels and down twisty roads that hugged the coastal sides of the smallish mountains there. The view was fantastic. We reached a turnaround point and Naoto said “I’ve got breakfast duty so I need to head back.” No problem. I followed him back, then ran an extra 1km and a bit. Still it totalled about 7km, three short of their daily 10km run (they don’t strictly adhere to this distance though, they’ve become a bit more flexible and I don’t think it’s a bad thing—when they were founded and when they ran in the US when I spent time with them they all ran together as a group but not anymore). Shower, breakfast, then a full-on day of setting up. After the setting up part was done, they had a soundcheck and mini rehearsal. I snapped this photo while that was going on.

What a place. Beautiful. Absolute nightmare for music though, as far as acoustics are concerned. But it all worked out. Two o’clock arrived and concertgoers started mozying in. We retreated to a large tent that was set up as a dressing room. They changed into their performing outfits, and I just zoned out for a bit. Before they go on, they always do this ritual of making a circle and doing warmup exercises, then adjacent members hold hands, and they do a little pre-game cheer of sorts. I was invited to join in all this so I was pleasantly surprised. Then it was GAME ON!!! I shot video of the whole show, and here’s a photo from Instagram of them playing Ōdaiko with me at the right shooting video.

Hahaa a cameo. Gimme a break. Anyway I’ll put a link to the video here in a sec but I just want to say they told the audience that video and photos were prohibited, so I set the video to “unlisted” and the only way to see it is if you have the link. They don’t really mind people seeing the video, it’s more a concern about people taking photos or video and then trying to sell it. Right then, here you go:

It’s about an hour twenty minutes or so. Hope you have nice speakers too. Yeah. So it was a fantastic show in an idyllic, beautiful environment. Then it was time to tear down and pack up. We had quite a bit of help this time so it was over within about an hour. Then they were gonna drive north along the Sea of Japan, heading to catch a ferry way up in Aomori, on their way to their annual Hokkaidō camp and concert, before heading off to a two week stint in China. I said a sincere thanks for being allowed to tag along, let them know that I really appreciated it, and then the director (Mr Matsuda) said “C’mon, you’re family! And besides that, you get shit done! Having you here was a huge help and it’s you who should be thanked.” I was floored. Did not expect to be told that. Wow. So it was in very high spirits thst I made the drive back home, arriving safely, but still full of adrenaline. What a weekend.

The next time I’ll get to fool around with them will be in September when they’ll be in Nagoya for a concert. I’m cooking up a plan to design and have vinyl stickers made for them to sell at shows and events while I’m back in the US this summer. 123stickers.com man, vinyl fucking stickers for reasonable prices and the damn things last forever. I’ve slapped a shitload of small ones here and there around Osaka and Kyoto over the years and they’re still there, in great shape. Graffiti background bared for all to see huh? Hahaha. Anyway. That’s all I have to say about that!

[thewildavocado]

A wild ride

I think it's pretty safe to say my first 6 weeks here have been... interesting. Not even a full 6 weeks actually. Most of you know that I went through a lot of trouble to get here, and that I had to fly in to Sasebo a week after Zach got here. The week I was left in Virginia was very hectic and lots of phone calls and running around, and I may have fought tears a few times. Well, that's nothing compared to since I've been here. The first month was easy; we got our apartment within a week and it's amazing and we've made friends.

Let me cut to the past 7 days or so: Zach and I spent as much time together as possible, exploring and eating at new places, because he left Tuesday for deployment. Backtrack a few days, the Sunday before he left (so 2 days before he left, this past Sunday, May 26th), we went to a BBQ in the afternoon. I was playing some backyard football, and anybody that has known me for more than like 15 seconds knows that I'm very competitive when it comes to sports. Like... really competitive. I think the years of 3 hour softball practices and 1,000,000 mph fastball line drives to my face and diving and sliding has turned me into some sort of fearless goon when I'm playing sports (thanks, coach). I'm not complaining, because I still have some pretty bomb reflexes, and during this BBQ, some kid kept calling me an athlete and saying I had to play for the co-ed softball team. WELL, THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN. Because me being me, I got too into it, and I dove for a ball and hurt myself. Mind you, I didn't notice I was hurt. I had a scrape on my arm, and Zach grabs my arm and makes me look at it, and goes, "You need to calm down." So naturally, I shrug it off and tell him it doesn't hurt (because it literally didn't). I have scars all over from sliding and getting cleated, etc. We got home that evening, around 5 or 6 I think, and I looked at my finger and it was kinda bruised near the last knuckle (the little knuckle by the tip, I'll post pictures) and also red and swollen, and the whole tip was bent kinda weird and I couldn't move it. Naturally, I wanted to show off my toughness so I sent a picture of my finger and scrape to my parents and said "When you're too competitive." I think my dad said something like, "That's my girl," and mom said, "Are you sure your pinky isn't broken?" Well, darn it... I got to looking at it, no I wasn't sure it wasn't broken. So Zach probably sighed or something and shook his head, and he starts sending pictures of my finger to people, asking if it's broken. It was getting late by then, and I was advised to go to the ER, but it didn't hurt so I said no, but Zach said I was going the next morning. So we go to the ER on main base (I live 30 minutes from main base at a base extension called Hario), and I walk in and show the front desk worker my swollen, purple, bent pinky and he glances at it and goes, "It's probably fine, I'll give you a splint," and proceeded to look at a kid who was probably 18-20 years old and asked him if he knew how to splint, TO WHICH HE RESPONDED, "No, I haven't been trained in splinting." So finally, a lady who was more knowledgeable came out and told him to put me in the system so I could get properly triaged. Long story short, the on-call doctor didn't come in to look at it, and instead had the kid WHO WASN'T TRAINED IN SPLINTING splinted my finger and sent me on my way. They said to wear the splint for 4 or 5 days, and if it wasn't better or it got worse before that, to go to my regular doctor.

So a family friend who I saw a little later says that I should just go make an appointment with my doctor on Tuesday (I went to the ER Monday). Tuesday was also the day Zach deployed. So I'm on base, I see Zach off around 11am, and my friend gives me a ride over to medical, I make an appointment and they got me in the same day. My doctor said that she didn't think it was broken, but she'd do an x-ray to be sure, and that I could leave and she would call me with results because the treatment would be the same (the splint and ibuprofen). The x-ray tech gets done and asks me what I'm supposed to do, I tell him I can leave and he tells me to wait because he wants to talk to the doctor. My heart stopped. I knew right then it was broken, and I was mad, not only because it was downplayed so much by everyone (except for that girl in the ER), but also because this meant I couldn't play slow pitch softball like I had planned. I was asked into the room by THE UNTRAINED KID FROM THE ER and some girl, to which the kid says to me, "She's never splinted before, can she try on you?" Sure, I'll be y'alls freaking test dummy, even though nobody had actually told me it was broken yet. He goes to make sure I can leave, comes back with doc who, unsurprisingly, tells me I'm victim to a pinky fracture. Well, dang it. I'm told to stay in the splint for 6-8 weeks. Doc also made the kid re-splint my finger, and he kept twisting the splint like DUDE IT'S BROKEN, CALM DOWN. By Tuesday, it hurt, and definitely by the end of that doctor's visit. I think I'm good, right? Suffer for 6 to 8 weeks, then I'm home free. Lol, wrong.

I get a call Wednesday evening from my doctor, who tells me it's actually worse than what they thought, and that I may also have some tendon compromise. I get told I'm getting sent to Yokosuka (which is another US Navy base in Japan with a much bigger medical facility) in the next week or two. Cool, okay, I guess.

Get a call early Thursday morning and get told something like, "Hey, they want to medevac you out TODAY and get you seen in the orthopedic fracture clinic tomorrow, " which is today, Friday the 31st. So a few hours later, I'm on main base, I get told I'm flying from Fukuoka (about 2 hours from Sasebo) to Tokyo, and then taking the trains to Yokosuka.... by myself. That was fun (insert extremely heavy sarcasm).

So my appointment was this morning, and everyone kept dancing around telling me I need SURGERY for stupid little pinky, until I finally saw doc at 11, who is extremely awesome by the way. He explained everything in detail, that the part of my pinky that's broken has some important tendons attached to it that allow me to bend my pinky, but since the bone piece isn't attached to the rest of the bone, I can't move my finger. He told me that he would insert 2 pins in my pinky, WHICH I WILL BE FULLY AWAKE FOR (puke). I was originally supposed to fly out tomorrow, June 1st, but now I'm stuck here until June 19th, because my post-op appointment is June 18th, and I'm not cleared to go back until we're done with that. So basically, it's been a stressful week.

On top of that, when I leave the 19th, I have to come back 4 weeks later so he can remove the pins. 😑😑😑😑😑😑

Y'all, I'M NOT DOING WELL. Lmao

stay wild (but not as wild as me, please jeeeeezus)

❤