#it’s just so frustrating that i can’t find friends who are either okay with me not liking ships or are civil about their ships

[alaskan-wallflower]

i hate how i go from feeling good about my posts on here to feeling scared as shit to voice an opinion because i’m gonna get told off by some anon or my mutuals are gonna abandon me

[rafesweetie]

in which you’re forced into having a talk with your ex-boyfriend, rafe cameron, on the boat ride to morocco.

being a pogue and rafe cameron’s ex was not easy. although you dated shortly before he killed peterkin, and you were sure he barely even remembered your favourite colour, seeing him blatanly disrespect you and his friends, and go down a path you tried so hard to prevent him from, was hard to watch. but now he’s picked himself up since ward died. you thought you had another chance to at least be on good terms. sending flowers and a card to tanneyhill when ward died, smiling at him when you’d see him around. it didn’t work, he still hated you and your friends.

fortunately, he redeemed himself ever so slightly by volunteering to take the pogues to morocco. rafe had to find chandler groff, you guys wanted the blue crown. it was perfect.

until jj punched him, that is. he knocked him out cold. with a scolding “jj!” coming from majority of the pogues, including you, jj carries him down into the downstairs washroom and ties his wrists to a pole. they don’t trust him, which is fair. you don’t either — you shouldn’t, anyway.

rafe was down there quietly for a mere half hour until he woke up with a groan from his head hitting the ground earlier, followed up with yelling once he realizes he was stuck down there.

all touching your noses and saying ‘not it’ the minute pope suggests someone going down there to check on him, you’re the unlucky one who said it last. shutting up your protests, john b gently coaxes you downstairs, saying things like, “you used to mack on him”, “this is good, you know him”, “he won’t hurt you,” john b leaves you downstairs once you make it to the door of the bathroom. knocking gently, you timidly ask, “can i come in?”

there’s no answer. you can picture him. wrists tied, brows furrowed, eyes closed tightly as his head leans against the wall and towards the ceiling. his gorgeous stressed face. you slowly open the door, peeking your head in. “hi,” you say gently, timid around the scary and aggressive man you have the curse of calling your ex.

“…hey,” rafe says, voice rough as he shuts his eyes tight.

unsure what to say, you awkwardly stand there and stare down at him. “um, i brought asprin,”

“right, right, like i can fuckin’ swallow it. what, you gonna throw it in my mouth like a.. seal or something?” sassy, his upper lip lifts a bit as he thinks about it and isn’t very fond of the idea.

a second of silence as you figure out what to say. “…um, ill just set it down here,” you say, putting the container down beside him. “sorry about your head.”

“yeah, uh, your little boyfriend can’t control his fists, huh?”

“…not my boyfriend,” you correct softly, though you’re not sure why you feel the need to tell him that. “but no one really.. trusts you, rafe, so you kind of brought this on yourself—“

he quickly interrupts you. “bullshit. you know why that’s bullshit? because i was helping. who got you this boat, huh? me. i did. rafe. i’m the reason that you guys aren’t swimming, or some shit, to north africa. i’m being helpful and understanding, and this is what i get. you think that’s fair?” when you’re stood there in silence at his sudden raised voice, he repeats, “you think that’s fucking fair, y/n!?” he kicks a can in anger.

it’s like you’re his girlfriend again as you sit down next to him instantly instead of running. you get deja vu to the time three years ago when he was high on coke and got kicked out of the house. everyone ignored him except for you. “..um, okay, i’m gonna give you some asprin,” you say softly. “help your head. open,” you tell him, grabbing a pill as he gives you a look but opens his mouth. you pop it in his mouth and he dry swallows. “there.”

you two share a look. you don’t think it’s a bad look by any means. he looks frustrated still, but there’s an underlying gentleness in his eyes, as if he registers you’re still the same girl you were when you two were together. “…and, um, for the record, i don’t think it’s fair that you’re down here. you helped us, thats.. nice.”

the word ‘us’ when referring to you and the pogues makes him feel weird. “i don’t get why you hang out with them,” he mutters as he looks at the ground. “tried so fucking hard to keep you away from them when we were.. together.”

“i know,” you whisper, your gaze dropping as well, to his tied wrists. you feel awful. “trust me, your warnings still play in my head when i’m with them sometimes,”

“you remind me of sarah.” he says. you’re not sure what that means.

“you hate sarah,”

“nah, nah— i don’t hate her. hate who she’s turned into,” he adjusts himself. “she makes me sad. i’m sad for her, alright? she had so much potential.“ he shrugs. “but there’s no saving her. she’s in too deep,” he looks back up at you again. “i think there’s saving you, though,”

“…this is weird, rafe,”

“how?” he asks.

“because in the years we’ve been broken up, you’ve never talked to me about this. feels like it’s a… trick or something,”

“it’s not a trick,” he assures, voice still rough. “look, i’m out half a mill, i’m tied up in a bathroom, i’m probably gonna.. die or something. i got nothing to lose, may as well tell you my concern,”

“um, i appreciate it,” you say gently, unsure how to respond. “and i’m gonna go back upstairs.”

“hey— no, woah, woah, woah,” he stops you quickly. “stay. okay?”

“i should go up and help with dinner, though—“

“no, stay. i— i want you to stay, okay? i don’t wanna be down here alone, and i want you away from the pogues,”

he doesn’t wanna be alone. you feel bad for him all over again, nodding gently as you sit back down beside him. you always were so good for rafe.

you’re not sure how long you’ll be down here with him. maybe until it’s late at night and he’s asleep. so gently, after about five minutes of silence, to ease some of the tension and pass the time, you murmur a, “truth or dare?”

rafe just smiles.

[regal-rosebuds]

��How to Voluntarily Age Regress

ꔫHi all! I wanted to post this, but I can't call it as much a "guide" as I usually would, since it is purely my anecdotal experience!

ꔫNonetheless, I hope this is helpful to you in your endeavors!

ꔫTypically, when I am trying to regress, I start with age dreaming! This comes with a number of things, maybe it's:

Watching cartoons or another piece of media that I find comforting or that I've found puts me in the space

Coloring a picture or doing worksheets

Babytalking with my cgs, babysitters or other in-community friends

^Asking my cgs/babysitters to care for me as if I am already regressed

^^Generally interacting with other littles or friends I find comforting

Scrolling agere tags on here or ingesting other agere content

Using little gear like pacis, bottles, etc.

Playing with toys or playing video games that I've found put me in the space

Listening to a playlist that one of my cgs made me

Writing agere headcanons or making content of my ocs who regress

Daydreaming about agere outings, playdates, etc.

Going shopping and looking at toys

Cuddling, holding hands, getting my hair pet, etc.

ꔫThis is just a short list of things I've put together, there's a lot more that could be done, especially since it's extremely individual! This is just what works for me!

ꔫFrom there, I try to maintain this comforting and safe space by not taking on any work/responsibilities or really anything else not suitable for my small age.

ꔫAnd, it’s not like it’s a 100% success rate either! Sometimes, I’m just not feeling it; sometimes, I just continue age dreaming for the rest of the night! For me, you can’t really force it — it’s okay if it does happen, it’s okay if it doesn’t!

ꔫSome other helpful things:

I find it much easier to slip when I’m tired.

You might feel kinda silly being big and trying to do your small things, but that’s okay!

It’s not just a switch one can flip, so don’t be frustrated if it doesn’t come easily!

It’s different for everyone — for some people it comes really easily, for some people not so easily. Some people need to do a specific set of things and have a specific set of conditions to regress. Going further:

Not everyone can voluntarily regress, and that’s okay, but there’s no harm in trying it out!

ꔫWhile this isn’t as educational as my other posts, I still hope that you are able to find it helpful!

[unconventional-lawnchair]

Like my father pt 2 {burb}

Sirius x Potter!Reader

An: Already writing part 3. This can also be read as a solo.

CW: Amos Diggory slander, not proof read, use of y/n, bad dates, just cheesy fluff,

Summary: Reader has a bad date and Sirius comes to the rescue

Wc: 2451

Part one Part three

“I genuinely can't believe you let her walk out that door with him.” James groaned from the love seat where Lily had found a perch in his lap.

It was just a few months after your graduation when you informed your family and co. that you were seeing someone. Someone four years older, Amos Diggory. James protested, Sirius protested, even your mother did. Didn't stop you from accepting his date invitation. Nor did it stop you from leaving to go out to eat with him either.

Lily rolled her eyes, gently nudging James with her elbow. “Oh, come off it, James. She’s not a child anymore. She can handle herself.”

Sirius ran a hand through his hair, every part of him was tense, despite how he played it cool. “Drop it, mate.”

James sat up straighter, glaring at Sirius with indignation. “Drop it? Are you serious? She’s going out with a guy who’s practically an adult! What if he tries something? You know how boys are at that age!”

“Yeah, he's one of them.” Remus muttered and took a sip of his tea, earning a smack from Sirius.

“Stop talking like she isn't old enough to make her own choices.” Sirius huffed, crossing his arms defensively. “She was bound to start dating eventually.”

“Sure, but that doesn’t mean I can’t worry! I mean.” James pointed at Sirius and then back at himself. “He's older than us. I don't like it.”

“Maybe he is, but she’s not going to be alone with him in a dark alley, James. They’re going to a restaurant,” Remus chimed in, giving an amused sigh. “Let her live a bit.”

“This conversation isn't happening again.” Lily groaned as she stood up, grabbing James by his hand. “We're going to bed.”

James looked up at Lily and squeezed her hand with an affectionate, hell, lovesick look. “Yes ma'am.”

“Whipped.” Sirius huffed and Remus gave him a look.

“Goodnight all.” James waved before he pointed at Sirius with a glare. “You're gonna lose her, mate. Get your shit together.”

Sirius flipped him off before he sunk back into his bed. Sighing threw his nose and sank into the couch.

“You can't ignore it forever, Sirius.” Remus muttered and Sirius gave a scoff.

“Oh, but I can. And I will. She trusts me, she likes me, she thinks I'm just the greatest. I'm okay with that.” Sirius sighed and Remus gave a huff.

“Sirius, if she likes this guy-”

“Then I'll be happy for her.” He interrupted and ran his fingers a bit more purposefully through his hair. “She'll find someone worth her time.”

“Ugh. Is this how it felt talking to me?” Remus mumbled and Sirius rolled his eyes.

“I'm nothing, Remus. I don't have a damn thing to offer her. Not even my name means more than hers.”

Remus frowned. “That’s not true, and you know it. You’re a good guy, and you care about her. That counts for something. She wouldn't care about anything else.”

“Yeah, but it’s not enough,” Sirius grumbled, his voice laced with frustration. “I’m just her brother’s best friend. Some couch surfer her parents pitied. I’m not what she needs. Not when she could have someone like Amos. He’s got it all; looks, charm, and a future ahead of him. What do I have? A knack for getting into trouble and a penchant for living on the edge?”

“Sirius,” Remus interjected firmly, leaning forward. “You know she doesn't think like that. You haven't even given her the choice.”

“But she so often picks the wrong one.” He groaned and Remus shook his head.

“Just think about it, mate. I'm going to bed, you coming?”

“No I uhm…” Sirius glanced at the window and bit his cheek. “Think ima stay up for her. You know, to lock up after her.”

Remus slowly smiled and nodded, dismissing himself.

~~~

Sirius was shocked awake by the sound of the house phone ringing. He hissed and rubbed his eyes, having fallen asleep on the couch.

He groaned, the muffled ringing echoing through the house as he squinted at the clock on the wall. It was well past nine, when you should have been home. Who in their right mind was calling this late? He internally nagged himself for not being awake to welcome you home.

Reluctantly, he pushed himself up from the couch, his body stiff from the awkward position he had been in. As he shuffled toward the kitchen, he could hear the phone ringing again, the sound almost piercing his ears. He reached the phone just as it stopped, but before he could breathe a sigh of relief, it started ringing again.

“Ugh, bloody hell.” He muttered, picking up the receiver a bit more aggressively then needed. “Potter residence, what-”

“Sirius? Is that you?”

At the sound of your voice he almost toppled over. “Bambi? The hell? What are you still doing out?”

“Uhm.. dinner ran a bit later than I thought.” You whispered and you began to ring your fingers through the cord. “Would it.. would it be too much to ask you to come pick me up?”

Sirius thought about what you were asking for a moment, you didn't exactly sound thrilled to be there.

Not that he had to think about his answer for too long.

“Of course, bambi. Just stay put, yeah?”

“Okay, I’ll be here.” You sounded relieved, and Sirius could picture you visibly relaxing on the other end of the line.

He hung up the phone and quickly grabbed his jacket from the back of the couch, his mind racing with questions.

Sirius slipped on his shoes and headed for the door, he paused and quickly grabbed a pair of your sneakers before hurrying out.

It wasn't long before he got to the restaurant. Walking at night wasn't Sirius’s idea of fun, but the idea of you sounding so nervous and scared, he didn't even realize how fast he was moving. Some fancy place he was sure you'd never be found dead in. Even with your family’s status, you'd more often than not be found in diners.

He walked in, standing awkwardly at the waiting area. He peeked over the hostess stand, looking around the restraint curiously, only able to spot Amos sitting at a table alone. He furrowed his brow, before he felt a tug at his sleeve.

Turning around to see you, smiling up at him. The same smile you shot him when you headed out earlier tonight.

“Hey, little bug, what's going on?” His entire demeanor turned soft, and your smile faltered just a moment.

“I just wanna go home.” You whispered softly and Sirius took a glance back at the table, able to see Diggory looking around curiously.

He nodded and wrapped his arm around your waist, escorting you out of the restaurant to the grand stairs that lead to the sidewalk. He pointed down to the last few steps. “Sit.”

You huffed but did as you were told. Watching as he kneeled in front of you and took off your heels, replacing them with your sneakers.

You hugged yourself, the noodle strap dress doing very little to cut the cold. “Thank you, Siri…”

He sighed a bit at the nickname, standing up and taking your hand to help you up. “Did you call me all the way out here to ditch some boy?”

“Merlin, Siri, he's such a git.” You hissed and looped your arm around his. Clinging to what little warmth he gave off, as he began to lead you home.

Sirius raised an eyebrow, a mix of concern and curiosity flooding his thoughts. “What do you mean? What happened?”

You leaned into him a bit more, seeking comfort from the chill in the air and the whirlwind of emotions from the evening. Not used to the more casual treatment from men. Usually, being James Potter’s sister was a reminder enough for men to go above and beyond for your attention.

Given your brother was the boy who would dedicate his Quidditch Cup wins to his girlfriend or declare his love with obnoxious displays. Of course, {Y/N} Potter wouldn't entertain anything less. Seems Amos figured a pretty face was enough. “It started off fine, but then he just… I don’t know, he got too flirty and it felt really off. I thought I could handle it, but he just kept pushing. I felt uncomfortable, and I didn't want to make a scene.”

“Flirty how?” Sirius asked, keeping his voice low and steady, trying to gauge how serious the situation was. Debating on if it was worth running back in.

“He kept talking about how pretty I looked and how lucky he was to be with me.” You explained, your voice barely above a whisper. “At first, it was nice. I mean, you know I like being flattered.”

“What? No. I would have never guessed.” Sirius mocked and you hit his side with a huff.

“Shut up!” You laughed lightly, but the tension in your voice betrayed your discomfort. “But then he started getting too personal, asking if I was a good kisser and if I wanted to go back to his place after dinner. It just felt… wrong.”

Sirius felt a surge of anger course through him, and he tightened his grip on your arm as you walked together. “Did you tell him to back off?”

You nodded, looking down at your feet. “I did, but he just brushed it off and laughed. I didn’t want to cause a scene, so I just made up an excuse about needing to call you. It was the only way I could get out of there.”

“Good thinking.” He praised, his voice softening. “You did the right thing. You don’t have to put up with that kind of behavior from anyone, no matter how charming they might seem.”

You looked up at him, slowly your bottom lip began to quiver and he gave a surprised and panicked look. Before his expression slowly turned soft. “Oh, bambi.”

“I didn't like it.” You whispered, quickly lifting your free hand to dry your gathering tears. “It was my first date and I hated it.”

“Hey, hey.” He whispered and stopped walking. Lifting his hand to shoo away your own, using his thumb to dry your tears. “Hey, none of that, it wasn't your fault.”

“He was so gross.” You whined out and he tutted, pulling away as you took a shaky breath. “And his cologne smells awful.”

Sirius gave a startled chuckle and you slowly smiled up at him. “Smelt like a mix of cheap aftershave and desperation.” You added, a hint of laughter breaking through your earlier distress. He gave a louder laugh as he began to lead you back down the street.

“How cruel of you.” He chuckled and you shook your head, giving a small sniff. “How cruel of me? How cruel of him! I had to smell it all night, I'm the victim here.”

Sirius couldn’t help but smile at your determination to find humor in the situation despite how upset you had been moments earlier. “You’re absolutely right.”

You giggled, the sound warming Sirius’s heart. It was nice to see you lightening up, even if just a little. “I mean, really, if you’re going to wear something that strong, at least make sure it doesn’t smell like it came from the bargain bin. My dad has better smelling cologne and he actually gets it from the bargain bin.”

He shook his head. “Do you even know cologne? Is that even on your radar?”

“Well, no but.. I like my dads. And yours.” You hummed and leaned in closer, taking a small whiff of him before you scrunched up your nose. “Not this one. The green bottle.”

Sirius raised an eyebrow, a playful smirk creeping onto his face. “The one I wore at Hogwarts?”

You laughed, your tension easing. “Definitely. It smells way better than what that git was wearing. You’d have all the ladies swooning.”

“Ah, but I’m not trying to swoon anyone tonight.” He hummed, his tone suddenly more serious as he looked down at you. “I’m just focused on getting you home safe.”

You met his gaze, a mix of gratitude and warmth filling your chest. “I appreciate that, Sirius. It means a lot to me.”

“Course. Next time you need a date, you just let me know, and I’ll screen them first,” Sirius offered, half-joking but also completely serious. “I’ll make sure they meet the ‘Sirius Standard.’”

You laughed. “The Sirius Standard? Oh please, I know how you treat your girls.”

“Not my girls. They aren't my girls.” He chuckled and you rolled your eyes.

“You don't have girls anymore? You've changed, Black.”

“Who needs girls when I got you to look after? Too much work if you ask me.” He huffed and you slowly smiled, fiddling with the threads of his warn jacket.

You guys eased into a calm silence. It wasn't long until you were home, and he was lifting up his keys and kneeling down to take off your shoe. You gave a sleepy yawn, looking down as he stood infront of you.

He did a double take, noticing how you chewed your lip.

“What's on your mind, bambi?”

“Just.. boys. Is it weird, Siri? That I haven't dated yet?”

“What? Doll, is that why you went out with him?”

“... maybe. Just.. James got to me the other day. I haven't dated anyone, that can't be normal.”

He cooed and walked over to you, “It's not, but it's special. You know what you want. That's a good thing.”

You looked up at him, your expression thoughtful. “You really think so?”

“Absolutely.” He affirmed confidently. “You’re not going to settle for just anyone. You’ll wait for someone who makes you feel safe and happy. That’s way more important than just dating for the sake of it.”

You smiled softly. “Thanks, Sirius. You always know how to make me feel better.”

“That's my job, isn't it?” He grinned back at you, before lifting up his arms. “Come ‘er.”

You giggled and hurried over to him, slipping your arms around his waist and nuzzling your face into his chest. He wrapped his arms around you and held you close, giving you a tender kiss on your forehead.

“Don't go rushing into things, bams. You've got a lot of years to find someone.” He whispered against your hair and you absolutely melted into him. Not noticing as the stairs from the second floor creaked and James peaked down to look at Sirius. Giving him a smile and hurrying back upstairs.

“Siri?”

“Yeah?”

“Can we watch a movie tonight?”

“Is it Grease?”

“... maybe.”

[marvelouslizzie]

I'm Not Sure If I Can Do This

Summary: You want to try something new and Bucky isn't sure if he can do it.

Pairing: Boyfriend!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Warnings: 18+, established relationship, teasing, dirty talk, pet names, edging, no protection, no mention of y/n

Word Count: 1.9K

A/N: I wrote this little filthy story because of my friend Andreea's prompt. I'm glad it turned out to be something decent.

You can also send me requests if you want. I can't guarantee I'll write it but I'll certainly try.

Thank you @notafunkiller for proofreading and editing ❤️

All work is mine, please do not repost or translate without my permission.

You thought explaining why you wanted this or even convincing him to do it would be harder, but it was quite the opposite. Bucky Barnes is a guy who loves to give, especially when it comes to pleasure. It’s like he’s thriving on your pleasure while he’s delaying his own. He never made you wait or made you beg for release. Not once. And you really want to be desperate for some reason. And you have no intention to find out why. You just want to experience it. You want him to tease you relentlessly, deny your orgasm, and finally when he allows it, you want it to be explosive.

It’s easy to imagine him doing all those things to you, but the idea of explaining it is just dreadful. That’s why you were so reluctant. You weren’t sure if he would like the idea or maybe he would misunderstand your intention. None of that happened, though. You just said you wanted to try it and as you started to explain why, you noticed how his eyes were shining mischievously. That’s when you realized it was more than okay for him.

And that’s how you ended up all naked and frustrated on your bed. Bucky is a man of his word, so when he said he was going to enjoy this, he was not lying. He has been teasing you for a while now, and all you feel is frustration and of course, that undeniable anticipation. 

“Bucky…” You whine as he’s moving so damn slowly inside you. The touches, the kisses, his damn tongue… It all feels good but not enough to make you come.

“Yes?” 

The way he looks into your eyes makes you melt. You are so close to forgetting that he has been torturing you. He has been denying your orgasm every time you are getting close, yet the look in his eyes… It shows his true feelings.

“What do you want, baby?”

He sounds like he has no idea what you want. You wish you could hate him for this, but you can’t. You’ve been imagining how this would feel like for so long, and he’s just turning your fantasy into reality while enjoying the ride.

“I wanna come.” 

You don’t care if you sound desperate because you are. You are desperate to come. You want that relief you took for granted for so long. All those times he never denied you, all those times he never even paused for a second before giving you all the pleasure in the world.

“Beg for it.”

His response surprises you. You can see the desire in his eyes and how much he’s actually enjoying this, but you never expected that he would be so into it. Maybe he didn’t know it either, but he definitely loves the state you are in. He even seems to enjoy edging himself because while torturing you, he’s torturing himself as well.

“Beg?”

“Yes, baby. Beg. Isn’t that what you wanted?”

“I-” You can’t deny that, can you? You always imagined it this way, but you never actually begged before. It’s easier when you are just imagining things, but looking at his face and saying those words… It feels incredibly hard.

“If you are not ready to beg yet, you are not ready to come, sweetheart.”

Oh, that’s awfully cruel of him yet so freaking hot. He knows you want to do this so badly, but your pride is standing in the way, and he’s willing to take you to the point where you wouldn’t care about it anymore. Yet your mouth says something else.

“But I am so close…” 

“I know.” He moves in and out of you. His pace is torturously slow, yet it still feels amazing.

Then his fingers move onto your clit, gently rubbing it, and you feel a jolt of electricity all through your body. It’s like a promise. The promise of blinding pleasure, but he stops after a couple of rubs and makes you whine.

“You know what you have to say, don’t you?” You nod in response, tears are beginning to well up. “You can get what you want, any time you want.” You know that, but it’s like your mouth is having a hard time saying those words. “And you know we can stop this any time you want, right?”

He’s trying to remind you of your safe word, but you don’t want to stop. You have no intention of using it.

“Please…” Your voice comes out so pathetically, but it makes him smile. Why is it so hard to say? 

“Please what?” He combines his words with actions. He moves a little bit harder inside you, and it reminds you of what you need. All you need is to ask him, and you know he will give it to you. You close your eyes and take a deep breath, bracing yourself to beg.

“Please move harder.” When you open your eyes back up, you see Bucky smirking. It just spurs something inside you. “Please, please…”

“Oh, baby…” He sounds so condescending yet loving at the same time. You have no idea how that’s even possible. “You really need it, don’t you?”

“Yes!” Your answer comes out instantly. Fuck your pride, you need this.

“Then you will get what you want.” You feel relieved but it doesn’t last long. “But I have one condition.” He completely stops while talking. “You won’t come before I say you can, got it?”

“But…”

“I will move faster and harder, like you asked me to, but you gotta hold it.” He sounds like he’s explaining edging to someone who has no idea what it is. “Show me what a good girl you can be, and I will give you what you want.”

Fuck… He’s making it so hard and hot at the same time. You really didn’t think he would take it this seriously. You thought just a please would be enough for him but it’s not. Yet you can’t seem to find it in your heart to regret asking him to do this.

“Can you do that for me?”

“I… I don’t know. I’ve never tried it before.”

“I know you can take it, sweetheart. Just show me how good you are.”

He’s a menace. He knows praising you will help and he’s using it damn well. So you find yourself nodding, and that’s when he finally starts to move again. 

His hands are grabbing your waist, while he’s fucking you the way you imagined it. It’s rough, it’s fast, but god damn, it feels amazing. You feel your orgasm is quickly approaching, especially after all that teasing, and you try not to focus on the pleasure. It’s so hard to move against your nature. Your body just wants to give into it and enjoy it to the fullest, but no, that’s not what your mind wants. So you close your eyes to fight it. Maybe that will help.

“No, no, no.” You hear Bucky saying. “You gotta look me in the eyes, baby. No cheating.”

“But that’s not…” He doesn’t let you finish. 

“But it is.” 

“Fine.” You know you sound like a child when you open your eyes back to see his pretty ones. They are so full of love and desire. You could come just looking into his eyes but you won’t. Not until he says so. You want to experience that crashingly intense orgasm.

“Good girl.” 

As if calling you a good girl with that deep voice of his isn’t enough, he starts to gently rub your clit and you can feel yourself clenching around him. Your pussy is begging for release. So are you.

“You are doing so good for me, baby.” His voice is full of adoration. “You look so beautiful. All spread for me. Just waiting for my command to come around my cock.” He slams so hard inside you that it makes you moan even though you were trying to hold back all this time. “Let me hear you. You make such pretty noises.”

“Please, Bucky.” It’s so hard to hold back. You can feel tears running down your cheeks. You never wanted to come this badly in your life before. “Please let me come.”

Finally, those words come out of your mouth. It has been a tough journey, but finally, you can ignore your pride and just ask for what you really want.

“That’s all I needed to hear.” He suddenly pushes your legs onto your chest, practically folding you into two. That allows him to move deeper inside you. “You can come now,” he says right before he starts to move again.

And just like that, you start coming on his command. It’s unbelievable how your body was just waiting for four words to come out of his mouth. All that teasing, all the build-up and anticipation pays off. Your whole body starts to shake while he’s railing you like there’s no tomorrow. Your head is thrown back, your eyes are closed and your lips are parted with the most delicious moans coming out of them. 

“That’s it, baby. Take it all.” He sounds like he’s close himself, but you are too lost in the bubble of pleasure to do or say something about it. 

It’s nothing like you have ever felt before. It’s so intense that there’s no thought in your mind, other than Bucky and how good he makes you feel. It’s so long that you forget to breathe for a while. Your ears are buzzing, and your muscles are contracting. You never knew this was possible. You never knew it would be better than you imagined.

When you finally come down from your high, you open your eyes to see Bucky with the most pleased expression. He hasn’t come yet. You can feel how hard he’s inside you, but you can see how accomplished he feels.

“God, you are so fucking beautiful.” He keeps moving with the same pace, chasing his high.

“Come for me, Bucky,” you say while you reach out to touch his face. He has been working so hard to make your fantasy real. “Come inside me. Please.”

“Fuck.” You can see he’s about to come. The veins around his eyes get so visible when he’s close. “You want it, baby?” His voice comes out like a groan.

“Yes. I want it. Please, give it to me.”

That does it. You just watch how he starts to come and damn, it’s such a pretty sight. You have seen this many times before, but it never ceases to surprise you. Him losing himself in pleasure like that… Especially when you know you are the reason for it. You are the reason why he’s so turned on. You are the reason why he comes so hard. You are the one doing this to him. 

When he’s done, he gently moves out and rolls next to you. You whine a little because of how empty you suddenly feel. You feel his hot and deep breaths on your neck. As soon as you think you are feeling a little cold, he wraps his arms around you and pulls you close.

“Thank you,” you say quietly, as if you’re afraid someone else will hear you.

“It’s my pleasure, sweetheart. You have no idea how much I enjoyed that.”

“Oh, I saw how much you enjoyed it, Mr. I’m Not Sure If I Can Do This.”

He scoffs at you bringing up his first reaction. Oh, how wrong he was. It was a completely unexpected experience.

“Maybe we should try choking next time.” You test the waters reluctantly, but the look he’s giving you is nothing but promising.

[luvismenu]

First Meet ⋆˚࿔ fuckboy!jungkook 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ extra ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

series m.list

♡ — permanent taglist: @blaricee @blluee28 @jkvias @jksctrl @ari420sstuff @wnteraezz @letmekookk @whoa-jo @wobblewobble822 @jkslvsnella @clxssy1997 @nikkinikj @kayleesaltzmann @rrosiitas @naurnonope @lola75111 @somehowukook @redcherrykook @parkinglot-nights @deluluisdasolulu @minghaosimp @hyeon-yi @ririkookiemonster @svtrighthereworld @jmscaffeine @trinityxsope @taetaecatboy @butnotmontana @joyofbebbanburg

note — just a lot of yapping ig?? lmao

a frat party.

you despise frat parties.

so why are you here?

because you wanna fuck hoseok.

you just have to find him in this crowd, strike up a conversation, maybe flirt a little, and then let things happen naturally.

simple, right?

wrong!!

you’ve never done this kind of thing before. well, you’re not a virgin, but you’ve never really gone out of your way to hook up with someone who wasn’t in a relationship with you. why would you? your vibrator has always been enough, and besides, you don’t trust people easily. putting yourself out there like this feels foreign—almost reckless.

so why now? why hoseok?

he’s been your study buddy for a while now. almost like a good friend to you. compared to the other guys you’ve met, he’s respectful, never once tried to cross any boundaries.

that’s basically the bare minimum, but still, for some reason, you’re really attracted to him.

or you're just sex deprived.

when he invited you to his friend’s party; where everyone either drinks, hooks up, or both. you figured it was a sign.

“you can come if you wanna” were his exact words, casual and without pressure.

still, an invite to a party like this must mean something, right? you probably have a chance with him. you just want to fuck him.

a hookup isn’t that bad, is it?

“___! over here!” hoseok’s voice cuts through the crowd, and you spot him waving at you. you push through the sweaty bodies and the overwhelming stench of alcohol. he’s swaying with a drink in hand, a pretty woman clinging to his side.

great.

he already has plans for tonight.

“you came!” he cheers.

not yet you haven’t. and, at this rate, you probably won’t.

“yeah… yay, i came,” you reply, trying to sound enthusiastic.

“enjoy yourself, ___! drink as much as you want!” he laughs, clearly already wasted. the woman next to him pulls him closer, whispering something in his ear while kissing his neck in a way that feels too intimate.

awkward..

“have fun, okay? i’ll see you in a few,” hoseok says, before turning back to the woman. “got some unfinished business to deal with.”

and just like that, he’s gone.

you’re disappointed. sad, even. and a little.. mad?

“good job, ___,” you mutter under your breath. “this is what you get for not telling him if you were coming or not.”

ugh, imagine getting all worked up for nothing.

“what do i even do now?” you sigh, turning around to leave. “guess i’ll just— ow! what the fu—”

“watch where you’re going, dumba— oh.”

you rub your shoulder, looking up at the guy who practically knocked you over. in the dim lighting, you can’t make out much of his face, but he’s staring down at you, eyes scanning your features.

“that fucking hurts,” you groan.

“if you wanted my attention that badly, you could’ve just asked instead of running into me,” he says, a cocky smirk forming on his lips. “also, bumping into strangers isn’t the best approach, you know.”

“you bumped into me!” you protest.

“that’s what they all say,” he grins, the cockiness in his voice irritates you.

oh you hate him already.

“i was trying to leave, and you came out of nowhere!! whatever, it was an accident, okay? i wasn't trying to get your attention. i don’t even know who you are,” you explain, growing more frustrated.

“you don’t know me?”

you shake your head, confused.

“who invited you?”

“why do you care?”

“because this is my party.”

oh.

shit.

it’s jeon jungkook.

“oh i-”

“wait. aren’t you ___?”

“uh, yeah, that’s me. how do you know my name?” you ask, surprised that he recognizes you.

“i think i saw you talking to hoseok once and—” loud cheering interrupts him, followed by the sound of music thumping from the main room. he glances around, looking slightly annoyed before continuing, “come on, i know a quieter place.”

you give him a look, cleary not liking that idea.

“i won’t do anything, darling,” he says softly. “i promise. i just wanna talk,” something about the way he says it makes your stomach do a flip.

no, nope, you can't let your hormones take control over you right now.

you shake your head slightly, trying to clear your thoughts.

“you coming?” he asks as he starts walking, glancing back at you with a teasing smile.

normally, you'd be on your way out of a party like this. but something in you decided to follow him. maybe it was curiosity, or maybe it was just because the loud, crowded room was starting to get on your nerves.

“so, you study with hoseok. interesting.” he sits beside you. “didn’t know he was into people like you.” jungkook hands you a coke.

you take it from his hand, raising an eyebrow. “people like me?”

“just didn’t think hoseok hung out with nerds,” jungkook replies, his tone casual but with that ever-present cockiness.

jeon jungkook—the infamous fuckboy.

you don’t really understand why he’s so popular.

sure, he’s handsome. and okay, maybe his perfectly sculpted body helps, but the way girls fawn over him and the way guys seem to both admire and fear him baffles you.

even now, you find him irritating.

how can someone so cocky be so popular?

“what is that supposed to mean?” you frown.

he shrugs, a hint of a smirk on his lips.

“did you spike this?” you ask, raising a brow as you take a cautious sip.

he rolls his eyes “relax. i’m a fuckboy, not a creep.”

“same thing.” you shrug, taking another sip, feeling the cold liquid hit your throat.

“so, why are you here?”

“what do you mean?”

“this place is filled with fuckboys—or creeps, as you like to call them. doesn’t seem like your vibe.”

“uh, like i said before, i was invited,” you say, clearing your throat, feeling slightly defensive. “thought i’d check it out.”

jungkook looks at you skeptically, and the weight of his stare makes you shift uncomfortably.

“you wanna be a fuckgirl?”

“what?! no!” you almost choke on your drink, the suggestion catching you off guard.

he grins, clearly enjoying your reaction. “then you wanna fuck?”

“i don’t wanna fuck,” you snap. “at least, not you or any of these people.” you look away, feeling embarrassed at the bluntness of his and your words.

jungkook looks at you, puzzled for a moment, and then his eyes widen as he puts the pieces together. “hoseok?? you’re into hoseok? wow… i mean,” he clears his throat “i thought you didn’t like fuckboys.”

“since when is that any of your business?” you scoff, glaring at him.

he raises his hands in surrender, still grinning. “my bad. just curious.”

you face the other way, crossing your arms in frustration. first, you are not getting fucked tonight and you're mad. second, you’re sitting here with one of the cockiest guys on campus. none of this is what you had in mind for the night.

you groan internally, wondering if you’ve made a huge mistake.

“hey,” jungkook’s voice softens, and you turn your head slightly to look at him. “why so grumpy?” he teases and you roll your eyes yet again.

“oh, maybe because i’m not getting fucked tonight and i am stuck with the campus' favorite fuckboy,” you blurt out, regretting the words the second they leave your mouth.

his eyes widen a little, amusement flashing across his face. “hm, well, do you want me to call hoseok for you? i’m pretty sure he wouldn’t say no to a pretty girl like you.” he pulls out his phone, and you quickly reach out to stop him.

“no! what!? that’s embarrassing. what are you thinking?” your hand covers his phone, pushing it down, your fingers brushing against his.

jungkook pauses, looking at where your hand is touching his. his eyes flick up to meet yours, surprised, and you quickly pull your hand away, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks. “just… don’t try to help. i’m fine.”

“right,” he says, putting his phone away. “forgot you’re a little different.”

“different?” you ask, frowning.

“i mean, you clearly don’t fit in with the people here,” he says casually.

“i can if i want to,” you retort, not even sure why you’re trying to prove yourself to him.

he chuckles, raising an eyebrow. “yeah? prove it then”

you hesitate for a moment, unsure of what he expects. but there’s something in the way he’s looking at you that makes your pulse race.

“i was just joking, you don't have to— mmph!”

the kiss is quick. it ends as soon as it starts. when you pull back, his eyes are wide. he clearly did not expect that.

you feel a strange sense of pride wash over you, but the embarrassment quickly sets in. “i- uh, i have to go now,” you announce, hoping to make an exit before he can say something to make the situation worse.

“oh, uh sure,” he mutters, standing up as you do, but just as you're about to leave, he grabs your wrist.

“you sure you don't wanna fuck?” he asks, clearly teasing you.

“no. unlike you, i can keep it in my pants,” you retort, trying to sound more confident than you feel.

“weren't you mad that you weren't gonna get fucked tonight? i can totally help you, you know,” he offers.

“i am fine.” you say, turning around to leave, but he grabs your wrist once more.

“can i have your number at least?”

“what? no. why would i give my number to you?” you shoot back immediately, almost as if the question is absurd.

he frowns, looking genuinely offended. “you're mean. i just wanna be your friend. nothing wrong with being friends!!”

you pause for a moment, considering his words. it’s not like you’re opposed to having friends, but something about him being your friend feels weird. “i don't think that's—”

“come on, just think about it. you seem cool, and i am hot, it would work you know” he interrupts

“i am cool and you're hot? seriously?” you almost let out a scoffed laugh

“yeah, why not?” he presses, his eyes searching yours for an answer. “trust me, i’m not that bad.”

“you say that, but you're still a fuckboy,” you remind him

“maybe, but i can be a fun fuckboy,” he counters, a playful glint in his eyes. “what do you have to lose?”

you roll your eyes but can’t help the small smile tugging at your lips. “this conversation is ridiculous.”

“so is this party,” he replies, grinning. “just give me a chance. what’s the worst that could happen?”

you hesitate, “uh well i don't really—”

“oh please, you literally just kissed me, and—”

“okay, okay!! fine. give me your phone,” you sigh, cutting him off before he can make a bigger deal out of it.

he grins, handing you his phone. you type in your number and your name, then hand it back to him.

“happy?” you ask.

“very,” he says, that signature cocky grin returning.

you roll your eyes, turning to walk away, but before you get too far, you hear him call out again, “any chance we could make out?”

without looking back, you yell.

“fuck off!”

[mxlti-fand0m-imaginess]

Closet // Sarah Cameron

request: none

prompts: none

summary: you and sarah have been together for two months, and it’s been perfect. there’s only one catch, she wants to keep it a secret. but what happens when everyone finds out anyways?

warning: homophobia, a hell of a lot of angst, cheating, language, crying, topper says a slur cause he’s an asshole

word count: 1.6k

a/n: routlegde!reader, fem!reader, no physical descriptors of reader

”Don’t you wish we could just stay here like this forever?” Sarah asked, tilting her head to look up at you from where it rested against your chest.

“What do you mean?” you responded, your heart warming at the sight of Sarah in your arms, just the two of you in a hammock in your backyard, away from everyone else. And their judgment.

“Away from the rest of the world. Just us. Where no one can judge us and we’re free to just… be us.”

You smiled, your arms tightening around her. “That sounds perfect.”

The sound of a sudden approaching car yanked the two of you out of the little paradise you had created for yourself. The car engine being a sound you were all too familiar with. The Twinkie. John B was back early. Before either of you had time to react, the sound of four approaching people grew near and it was too late for Sarah to hide. You knew how much your brother and his friends hated the Kooks, and being caught cuddling with one was definitely not going to go over well.

If this had been an entirely different situation, you would've found the expression on your brother’s face hilarious. But as he stood before you looking absolutely flabbergasted, your mind raced in a panic as you tried to figure out what to say. He didn’t even know you were gay, let alone that you were dating the princess of Figure 8. How on earth were you going to explain this?

”Heyyyy… you’re home early,” you said awkwardly. Sarah sat up and pulled away from you, somehow looking even more panicked than you were.

”What the fuck is this?” John B said, looking about as upset as you had expected him to be.

”My… girlfriend,” you said slowly, watching as each word sunk into his head.

“Your girlfriend,” he repeated, an edge of disdain in his voice.

“What? You have a problem with me being gay?”

John B huffed and waved dismissively. “What? No, I don’t care about that. It’s just… you’re dating her?”

“I think that’s my cue to leave,” Sarah said, rushing off before you could even respond.

”What’s your problem? So what if my girlfriend is a Kook? What does it matter?”

Sensing the growing tension, JJ quickly butted into the conversation. “I think I should probably go,” he said, turning to walk off, both Kie and Pope muttering something similar and following behind him, not wanting to intrude on what was shaping up to be a very heated conversation between you and your brother.

“What are you thinking? I mean have you thought this through at all? You know how her brother treats us.”

“She’s nothing like Rafe! Are you so closed minded that you can’t even comprehend the fact that she might be different?”

John B sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. “I know exactly what she’s like. A stuck up privileged princess who looks down on us and treats us like we’re nothing. Maybe you just haven’t been around her long enough to see that.”

Your frustration just continued to build inside you until you couldn’t take it anymore, everything you felt exploding out of you. “I love her, okay?! And you can’t say anything about her because I bet you’ve never even had a single conversation with her! Despite what you may think, she is nothing like the other Kooks. She’s kind. And she cares about me. And we were having a great time together until you showed up and scared her off!” Your own words were a shock to you, having never used the word love towards Sarah before. But you knew how you felt, and you knew you meant it.

John B paused at that. “You love her?”

”I do. And if you can’t put this petty rivalry bullshit aside because I’m finally happy, then I guess you’re nothing like I thought you were.”

Your brother’s face softened, your words finally knocking some sense into him. “Does she treat you right?”

A small smile grew on your face, realizing you were finally starting to get through to him. “Yes. She’s so sweet, I’ve never been with someone who cared about me this much before.”

”Good. I’m happy for you.”

”And… the gay thing?” you asked, a hint of nerves beginning to stir in your stomach.

John B smiled, pulling you into a hug. “I had my suspicions.”

”Really? I thought I hid it so well.”

”I kinda figured something was up, considering you’ve never had a boyfriend before.”

You laughed softly. “That’ll do it.”

”So how long have you two been together? I want to hear everything.”

~

It’d been two days since John B found out you and Sarah were dating, and you hadn’t heard from her since. Going from texting everyday to two days of silence was quite a jarring shift, and you were worried that John B might’ve scared her off. You had remembered some beach party she had mentioned she was going to, so you forced John B and his friends to tag along to clear the air, though they weren’t exactly thrilled about the relationship they were playing nice because John B had basically threatened them to, unbeknownst to you.

As soon as you had gotten to the party you started looking for Sarah, but you couldn’t find her anywhere. John B had even started helping you look too but it was starting to seem hopeless. Maybe she didn’t show. You turned to John B, about ready to ask to leave, when you saw him looking more angry than you had ever seen him before.

“What is it?” you asked, turning around to see what he was looking at, your heart shattering when you saw Sarah sitting in Topper’s lap, engaged in what seemed like a very flirty conversation.

Not wanting to deal with the sight a second longer, you stormed off past them, failing to fight off the tears streaming down your face. As you walked past her, Sarah finally noticed you, her eyes widening at how distraught you looked and her heart aching because she knew it was her fault.

“Y/n! Wait!” Sarah called, getting up and running after you.

“What do you want? Clearly these past two months meant nothing to you. What could you possibly have to say to me?”

Everyone standing around you looked shocked at the scene unfolding before them, especially Topper. “Sarah, what is she talking about?”

Sarah looked distressed by all the attention, not wanting to answer the question, so you did it for her. “Sarah and I have been dating for the past two months, and apparently she decided to move on without telling me.”

”Y/n, it’s not what it looks like!”

”Routledge is a dyke?” Topper said, clearly sounding disgusted.

John B stormed over, somehow angrier than he already was. “What the fuck did you just call my little sister?”

”What bro? I’m just calling it like it is.”

John B swung on Topper, punching him in the jaw and knocking him to the ground. You gasped, watching as John B continued punching an almost unconscious Topper.

“B, what are you doing?!”

It took both JJ and Pope to pull him off, not wanting to risk Shoupe showing up at the wrong time, just like he always did. But when Sarah seemed more concerned about Topper than what she did to you, you suddenly couldn’t bring yourself to care.

“I told you not to trust her,” John B shouted, still struggling to get to Topper again, his anger nowhere near diminished.

Stepping closer to Sarah, you couldn’t stop your tears. “How could you? Did you even mean anything you said to me?” Your voice broke as you talked, choking on your tears.

“It’s not like that! I did! It’s just…” Sarah trailed off, her eyes shining with unshed tears.

“What?”

”I can’t! I’m not like you! I can’t be gay! I just can’t…”

In that moment, your heart broke all over again. You knew Sarah wanted to keep your relationship hidden, but you had always assumed it was a stupid Kooks vs Pogues thing, not this. She had been hurting inside this whole time, and you were too lovestruck to see it.

“Sarah…”

“I mean, what’re people gonna say? It’s too much. I can’t do it.”

You took her hands in yours, feeling that same spark that appeared every time you touched her, a sad smile on your face.

”You can’t change who you are just because you’re scared people won’t like you. I know it’s hard, but you won’t be happy hiding who you are. You can’t live like that, you’ll be miserable. You are who you are, and no one’s thoughts about that can change it.”

Her tears finally fell. Sarah rested her forehead against yours, savoring the feeling of your touch. She knew you were right, but she was still terrified. The idea of changing how everyone viewed her scared her so much she ran back to her ex, not even thinking about how it would hurt you in the process.

“It’s terrifying…” Sarah whispered, squeezing your hands tighter.

“You don’t have to do it alone. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

Sarah smiled at your words, leaning in to kiss you, suddenly not caring that everyone was watching. With you by her side, she felt like she could do anything.

“What the fuck is this?”

John B groaned. “Shut up Topper!”

tags: @mxqdii

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[dykeknightrises]

US

A/N: I'M BACK! This is the third and final piece of the falling series, finally making it's appereace! While I'm not super happy about it (which is probably because I feel a bit weird writing dialogue and this one has much more than the last two), I feel like this is the closing I wanted for it! I truly hope you guys enjoy it!

PART 1: FALLING

PART 2: PROMISES

Having Alexia look at you like that took your breath away. Her hazel eyes looking at you like you were the only thing in the world gave you goosebumps. It wasn’t until a frown made it’s way to her forehead that you realized she was talking to you.

“I said: ‘I was hoping we could have our usual Thursday? I have a lot that I need to say to you.’” She said, before frowning ever deeper before adding, “Where are you going? It’s Thursday.”

“D-Date. I’m going on a date right now.” You replied, cursing the stuttering at the hasher tone she used on the last sentence.

“I didn’t know you were going on a date today.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know I was supposed to inform the team captain of such personal affairs.” You snarked back.

“That’s not what I meant and know it.”

“I don’t know, Alexia. For the past few months, we’ve only spoken as teammates. I don’t think it was wrong of me assume that this is how we were now, nothing more than teammates.”

“This is not fair, Y/N. You said we were okay.” Alexia gritted, pushing past you into your apartment.

“I thought we were too! I wasn’t the one who kept cancelling every week.” You scoffed.

“But you can’t just go in date like that!” she bit back.

“Excuse me? You know what, forget about it. Just leave, captain.”

“I can’t! I can’t let you go on that date before I tell you how I feel!” The Catalonian yelled.

“The last thing I need is to hear how much you don’t care about me!” You yell back, pushing past her and leaving her alone in your apartment.

***

The blonde’s words rang in your ears as you drove late to the date. The restaurant wasn’t very far, but you chose to drive to ground yourself. The argument with the Spaniard and the quick conversation that followed made her eyes turn glassy as she blinked to try to see the traffic better.

Trying to find the teammate that Leah set you up with was a downward spiral. Not being able to locate whoever it was, Y/N could feel the stress and the frustration leak through her cracks. A hand gripping your shoulder brought you back to the moment, making you turn and face soft brown eyes.

You could feel the warmness emanating from your former teammate as she enveloped you in a tight hug. Dressed in a high waisted pants, a very nice blouse and ready to kill, Lia Walti stood smiling at you.

“Leah outdid herself this time.” The Swiss laughed with you.

“Now a lot of things are making sense.” You agreed.

Following your friend to the table the English captain reserved for you two, it was easy to lose yourself in the conversation, as you caught up. It wasn’t easy, however, to do it completely, with a very specific person occupying such a bug part of your thoughts.

“Do you want to talk about her or are you pretending she doesn’t exist?”

“The second option.” You pout back.

“Well, I know why Leah set this whole thing up but, in all fairness, I’m not ready to go all in again. With how things ended between me and her, it still stings, you know? I mean, the whole summer fling was nice, but ‘real world’ wise I’m not there yet.”

“Oh, thank God. I’d hate to ghost you after this.” You joke at her, making her roll her eyes.

“Asshole!” She laughed, throwing a balled-up napkin in your direction.

With the underlining expectation of the night becoming nothing than a hang out between friends, you two relaxed considerably and dug deeper into the mess she had been in and the one you were now.

Dropping her off in her hotel after you both agreed on telling Leah the date was great so she wouldn’t set up either of you again, at least for a while, you drove back home. Talking to Lia about Alexia was very good, as she was removed enough from the situation to have convinced that maybe the last thing you yelled to the Catalonian was unfair.

With that happy though in mind, you got ready to bed, preparing yourself for an unruly night filled with Alexia, as usual.

***

Having a flat tire on your way to the Camp Nou was most certainly not a part of your plan and only served to make a bad day even worse. First you missed you alarm after only being able to sleep as the sun started peeking from the horizon. Then, you ran out of literally everything that was your usual breakfast food for Game Day. And now, a flat tire after already being late. Yay.

Leaving the car after parking and now even glancing checking where you were, an Uber arrived only a few minutes after and dropped you off on the wrong side of the stadium. Another check for bad day.

“I’m so sorry I’m late! The alarm, then the food, then the car, the Uber…” You apologized to Jona and the rest of you team, after finally making to the Locker Room.

“Uhh, don’t worry, Chica Amante!” Lucy teased.

“Oh, how do you say that in Swiss German?’ Mapí joked.

The team quickly joined in, clearly having heard details from Lucy and Keira, who Leah unquestionably gossiped to. Rolling your eyes, you started getting ready. It didn’t scape you that the only person who didn’t join in was Alexia, who had been lacing the same boot since you walked in.

“Ohh, Y/N, you can be late for game after a deliberate session of Seven Minutes in Heaven in the closest empty room!” Someone joked.

“Bonus if you don’t need all the minutes!” It was added.

As the girls kept poking fun, you could see Alexia get more and more tense, until she finally got up rather abruptly, mumbling something about needing more tape. As she closed the locker room door behind her, the glassiness in her eyes made the decision you had been struggling since the day before much easier.

After not finding the older woman in the most obvious spots, Y/N went to their spot, the little Video room for any last-minute adjustments. Alexia was sitting in the first row, right in front of the projector, as if she was waiting to watch a game tape.

The blonde had her head down, on her hands, shoulder shaking, and sobs barely muffled by her hands. Choking down her own sobs at how hurt Alexia was, Y/N made her was quickly through the room, sitting next to the Spaniard, pulling her into a hug.

“Shh… First, we get thought this, then we talk.” You whisper, cutting her protests.

With her safely tucked in your arms, you two stayed like until she was ready. Holding her for what felt like forever, Y/N felt more in peace than she had felt in the past months.

A small part of her brain kept reminding her that this was one of the most important game of their careers, but Alexia was far more important. It was almost a full hour before the Spaniard was ready, slowly untucking herself for the safe spot that hid her from the world. It was several minutes later before she even managed to look in your direction. It was even longer before she spoke.

“I’m sorry.” The blonde broke the silence, with her voice trembling and oh-so-quietly that Y/N had to strain her ears to hear it properly.

“Alexia…”

“No, I’m sorry. For everything, really. You deserve so much more than what I’ve done to you.” She whispered, before adding with a broken voice. “I-I hope the date yesterday went well.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m stupid.”

“Alexia.”

“I was scared. After Jenni, I was completely broken. Then I let myself open up and she broken me too. Hell, a part of me was still broken when you came along. In the beginning of the year, I promised myself that right now I just needed to focus in getting better, so I closed myself for any shred that could lead into something more. But then you came and made me yours without me even realizing. When I did, I got terrified. I-I was certain that you would break me too, but I couldn’t take it. Not from you.” She cried softly.

“So, you took a step back before I could do anything?”

“Yeah. I thought that if you didn’t know you couldn’t break me too.”

“Ale…”

“No, it’s okay. I can get over it, is not even your fault that I completely fucked everything up.”

“Well, I really hope you don’t. I spent almost the entire “date” yesterday talking to Lia about you, about how much I love you.” You said, caressing her jaw, getting yourself lost on her honey gaze.

“Oh…” She gasped. “But..”

“Well, we agreed on telling everyone it went well because we were not interested in doing that again, but with a stranger. Neither one of us were ready to move on.” You chuckled.

“Can I kiss you? Please?”

You nodded, leaning forward, and meeting her lips. In that moment, everything was right again. Hearing her breath get caught up, her hands caressing your waist, the warmness of her skin. Everything was Alexia. You were undoubtedly hers.

Getting lost on her was far too easy. It always was. It took you every ounce of self-awareness too pull back, only to be allowed after a shred of pecks and nips. Eyes closed, breathing the same puffs of air being expelled from your heavy breathing, you felt like you were dreaming again. Too afraid to open your eyes and wake up, you remain basking in her.

“Can I have another chance? I need to make it right, to be yours and make you mine forever.” Alexia asked, hazel eyes looking through heavy hoods, as if you’re the only thing in the world.

“I don’t know if I trust you.” You whisper, feeling you vision blur though unshed tears.

“That’s okay. I want to earn it back, it’s the most important thing for me. I want your permission to work for it, but if you don’t want it, I swear to leave you alone.”

“Don’t you dare doing that.” You tell her, kissing her cheek.

You two stay there for a few more minutes before getting up, finding you way back to a very panicked locker room. Turns out that vanishing for over an hour right before a match made everyone very worried.

Making up with Alexia was easily the peak of the day but beating Lyon and kicking them out of the Champions League in a packed Camp Nou, after losing to them on the away game, with you two having the game of your lives surely made its way as a second peak of what started out as a bad day.

The next few months were spent with you two thick as thieves once more, the team back on the comfortable routine. It was the next year’s pre-season when you gave her the green flag that you trusted her, and it was exactly a few after she gave you a bar of you favourite chocolate that she asked you to be her girlfriend. It was also then that she told you that she bought all the chocolate of her favourite store.

The Sun made you feel warm, loved, cared, cozy, at home, yourself and so many more things that you weren’t quite sure that could be described as feelings. But right now, buried under and completely surrounded by everything her on their home, Y/N would vow on whatever entity that existed that Alexia the Sun itself.

[eddiemunsonappreciationsociety]

SPENCER REID BODYGUARD AU FANFIC

As I step into my house I’m aware that someone is here immediately. My heart picks up pace as I take the can of mace from in my bag, I try to get my hands to stop shaking as I peer around the doorframe into my kitchen. My heart briefly drops when I see a tall man sitting at my breakfast bar drinking tea. His floppy brown hair falls into his face.

“Who the fuck are you and what are you doing in my house?” I yell at him, waving the can of mace in front of me.

I bark at the stranger, tall and handsome and not meant to be sat in my fucking kitchen like he owns the place.

“So you haven’t spoken to Mr Smith yet,” he sighs.

“My dad sent you?”

“Yes, I’m Mr Reid, your new security detail”

“No, you’re not.”

“I am, Miss Smith”

“I am not a child I don’t need to be looked after,”

“Well, I’m afraid your dad doesn’t agree” he shrugs.

I start to rifle through my bag, trying to find my phone. I’m too mad and my bags too full of crap. I start to get frustrated when the tall stranger shoves his phone at me.

“It’s your father,”

I grab his phone off of him

“Dad, what the fuck?”

“I didn’t tell you earlier because I knew you’d flee,” my dads raspy voice travels through the phone “You’re going to go with my friend Mr Reid and he’s going to take you on a nice holiday,”

“He’s what?”

“My plane is going to take you and your new shadow to a nice little island and you’re going to take some time away where it’s safe,”

“This is fucking kidnap,”

“No darling, I’m trying to prevent exactly that happening,” his voice is soft

“Again,” I mutter sharply

“Yes, again” he sounds defeated “please, just go for a few weeks, see it as a holiday, it’s a beautiful villa by the sea, whatever you want I’ll get sent to you”

I don’t respond, my heart is racing and I feel sick.

“Darling, please”

It’s not often Tony Smith begs for anything.

“For how long?”

“A few weeks, maybe longer,”

I manage to stop the scream that wants to ring out of me. The audacity. He’s the reason I’m in danger anyway. Sure, when you’re one of the worlds biggest drug dealers it seems great and the moneys good but people hate you and want to hurt you and have what you have. They take daughters of drug dealers. I find my mind slipping back a little and I shake my head clear of the thoughts. I glance at the bodyguard, he’s dressed in smart trousers, shirt and tie.

“I’m not happy about this, and this guy you’ve hired: have you met him? He looks like a geography teacher. He’s wearing a bloody cardigan,”

Mr Reid finds this amusing, I see him smirk but he tries to hide it by walking away.

“I’ve met him and I know his reputation, you be nice to him,”

“Whatever, how long have I got?”

“Pack now, it’s hot, you leave in an hour. And you leave your phone there”

“I’m not leaving my phone”

“Mr Reid will give you a new one, but it’s restricted. You can’t let anyone know where you are.

“You’re the fucking worst, I’m not going,”

“Yes, you are. This isn’t optional, you will go nicely or you will be taken forcefully. Either way you’re getting on that plane. Go and pack, don’t think you’d like what the geography teacher would bring you.”

I hang up on my dad and hand the phone back to the bodyguard. He takes it and holds his hand out.

“What?”

“Your phone too,”

“We’re not going yet,”

“Give me your phone,” he says if slowly, demanding.

I slam it into his hand and turn on my heel, heading to my room.

I try to clear the rage from me and think about what I actually need to pack. I throw a bunch of clothes, some books and my Switch into a suitcase. My makeup, skincare and other toiletries go in another.

After trying to streamline what I thought of as a full, big life, it feels depressingly small. I pack a total of three suitcases and am still have time to sit in the edge if my bed and have a slight panic attack.

My new bodyguard comes half way through my freak out.

“Cars here, are you okay?”

“I'm kind of freaking out,”

“Yeah, no doubt. Let’s both panic on the plane though,”

I watch him take a seat opposite me on the plane and he smiles, looking around with an almost nostalgic look on his face.

“What?” I ask as I catch his eye

“Been a while since I’ve been on one of these,” he shrugs.

“You had a jet?” I try not to sound bitchy but that’s clearly impossible.

“No, we had one for my old job” he seems unphased.

“What did you do?”

“Oh, we’ve got a while together Miss Smith, let’s not use up all the small talk at once,” he grins at me.

“That’s fine by me,” I shrug and put my headphones in

[catherinnn]

Jealousy and fears

THIS FIC CONTAINS SPOILERS OF SEASON 3

JJ Maybank x fem!reader

summary: this is the scene where Sarah has to flirt with Topper to get him to help them get the cross, but instead of Sarah, reader is Topper's ex and JJ is her actual boyfriend and he has to control his jealousy. Plus, reader has to control her fear of losing JJ when the plan goes wrong.

words: 2.3k

“Honestly, the hardest part is gonna be security, all right? So most of the guys are gonna be at the rail yard” JJ states.

“Alright so, we'll need to find some place and guard it, maybe a little further down the line, like a whistle-stop” Pope responds.

“Yeah” Kiara agrees with the pair.

“You guys are getting ahead of yourselves, per usual. We don't have a way to transport the cross. What you think? On JJ's motorcycle?” Cleo says sarcastically.

“That's not my fault. Alright, all me” JJ responds to her.

“Okay, so other options…” Pope starts before Sarah interrupts him.

“Oh my god”

“Oh my god what?” Cleo asks.

“What” I ask and she points towards some behind me, on the top floor of the bar we’re in. We all turn around to the direction she’s pointing at and we see Topper talking with one of his friends.

“Oh god” I cringe and I lower a little on the chair I’m sited on, trying to avoid him seeing me. Topper was my ex-boyfriend before I left him for JJ. To this day he keeps texting me every day and calling every now and then, he truly didn’t know how to take a hint.

“Is that topper?” Pope asks and JJ rolls his eyes.

“Yup” Sarah answers.

“Why is he like, everywhere?” JJ says.

“Maybe he’s following you” Kiara tells me joking.

“Perfect. Hey, Sarah.” Pope starts.

“What?”

“I bet you topper has a way of transport the cross” he suggests.

“Actually pope's right. He does have a rig” she confirms.

“No” I say already knowing where they’re going with this.

“Yes”

“No, absolutely not”

“Yes, come on, you already got him whipped anyway so why don't you just take one for the team?” Sarah suggests.

“Wait, tell me you’re not suggesting what I think you are” JJ speaks.

“She could flirt with Topper a bit so he would give us his truck to transport the cross” Sarah confirms and he clenches his jaw in frustration.

“Come on JJ, you know it would work” Kiara tell him.

“Why does she have to be the one doing it?” he complains.

“He’s not gonna agree if we ask him, but if she does...”

“Sarah said it, she’s got him whipped, not us” Kiara explains.

“What do you say?” you ask him.

“I’m not really excited about the idea of my girlfriend flirting with another guy who’s literally in love with her” he jumps.

“I thought you would understand. Think about the circumstances, it’s about the treasure” Pope tells him.

“We can handle JJ, just go talk to him” Kiara says to you.

And as you go up the stairs and greet Topper, they all stay at the bottom of the stairs, close enough to watch but not so close that Topper would see them.

“I can’t watch this” JJ starts, “Actually I have to watch so I can go break his nose if he oversteps”

“Shut up and pay attention” Kiara demands.

“I just can't believe you're here, I texted and called. How are you? You okay?” Topper says.

“You know, Top, things are a little tough right now” you answer.

“Yeah, tough how?” he asks. You look over his shoulder to see your friends watching expectantly the scene. JJ has a straight face, clearly not enjoying this, you weren’t either.

“We’ve been after this… family heirloom of Pope’s which is why we were gone and we ended up losing it, and unbelievably there might be a chance that we could get it back tonight, in Wilmington” you start explaining and he looks at you with all of his attention nodding at every word you say.

“Okay, how can I help?”

“No, I can’t ask you to do that” you play dumb a little so it wouldn’t be too obvious why you were here.

“No, seriously”

“Topper, I feel like if I ask you I'd be- I don’t know, it’s just- you're such a giver, Topper, you're such a helper”

“That's just how I am, that's just the way I was raised. And either way, remember when I said I would do literally anything for you? Remember that?” he says.

“Yeah”

“I meant it” he says confidently and you start to feel bad about taking advantage of him. You look over his shoulder again at the group where you see JJ signalling you to hurry up. “When I say something I mean it”

“We could… really use your truck” you finally ask.

“My dad's truck? Oh my god, he would literally kill me, he’s like super careful with it"

“So are we, we're super careful”

JJ grimaces in annoyance at her.

“We’ll take such good care of it”

“You put me in a tough spot, I- I know I said I would do anything but…” he hesitates so I move closer to him, start caressing his shoulder softly and we share an intense look where I try to hide my fear of him trying to kiss me, or JJ having enough of this and punching him for getting too close. Or both, really.

“I'm so sorry about everything. I totally understand, you have no reason to help us” I play dumb again.

“Why do I feel like I'll regret this?” he says with a smile. I give him a big smile and hug him excitedly. I can see the guys celebrating quietly and JJ rolls his eyes and shakes his head trying (and failing) to hide his smile.

After arranging the plan right we all go to our places. I go with Topper and Sarah on the truck, JJ and Kie go on his motorcycle and Pope with Cleo go on the train.

Before getting in the car, JJ, Sarah, Kie and I wait for Pope to give us the signal that he is on the train.

“What’s taking him so long?” Sarah complains. We can see Topper pacing around the truck nervously, JJ gives me a look making fun of him and we both laugh. A few minutes later we see Pope up on the train and giving us the signal to move to the next part of the plan. JJ gives him a thumbs up.

“That’s it, we’re green” Kie confirms and then suddenly we hear the train horn blaring.

“What's happening” I ask confused.

“You hear that?” JJ asks too and we can hear brakes hissing and metal clanks

"Train's moving, train's moving" JJ confirms now.

“Shit, shit”

“Hurry up”

I run to the truck. “Hey” Topper says nervously.

“Do you have jumper cables in there?” I ask him.

“Do you have an idea that I am here involved in illegal activities?”

“I'm not even close to being okay with this”

"It’s not that illegal"

"Okay"

“Jumper cables? What are we- what we doing with these?”

"Topper, if you don't wanna go, its fine. We’ll take the truck"

The rest of the guys show up behind us.

“Hey, I just wanna make sure everyone here is okay ending up in federal prison” Topper says.

“If it gets to that, yeah, I'll do it for pope” JJ responds and I laugh with him. I get the cables from the truck and give them to JJ, he looks at me as if he’s asking me if I’m ready, and I nod at him.

After JJ and Kie get the traffic-lights to go red, the train is stopping. That’s our signal to drive to the train.

"What the hell are we doing right now, this is ridiculous" Topper complains. And then we get next to the door where pope was signalling us to park next to.

"Right here" Sarah and I go out of the car and up the train to help. "How’s it looking?"

“Still searching” Cleo tells us.

“You see it?” Pope asks her.

“Hey, this one says Cameron” she answers.

“This is it, this is the cross, this is it!” he jumps exited.

“Hey, hey, what are we doing here?” Topper shows up and asks us.

“We'll put this in your truck bed”

“That's gonna scratch the paint!”

“No, no, it's fine” I say even though I have no idea.

“You’ll be able to get a thousand paint jobs after we do this” Pope tells him.

“This thing right here?” he asks.

“Just help us spot it”

We start moving the heavy box with the cross in it towards the car.

“Topper help me!” I shout.

“Just push it this way, my dad's gonna kill me” he complains.

“Guide it, hurry up, let's go”

“Don't mess up the cross” Pope warns.

“Don't mess up the truck” Topper warns too.

“Stop! Hey, stop!” we hear an officer shout at us.

“Shit, we gotta go”

“Hold it right there!” He shouts again.

“Cops! Come on”

“The cops are coming, let's go!” We get the box on the truck and we get in the car.

“Push it, Chewie!” Pope yells from the back.

“Go!” Sarah tells him. He starts driving.

“How the hell can you live like this? You come from a good family” Topper tells me.

“Just drive!” I respond. He drives and passes the train.

“We got somebody on us” Topper warns.

“That’s JJ and Kie” Sarah confirms. JJ moves the motorcycle right next to the car.

“JJ! What is he doing?!” he asks me.

“I don't know” I say.

“Topper, keep going straight!” JJ shouts.

“Y'all be careful. Alright?”

“Topper hold it steady” I say.

“I'm trying!”

We see Kiara getting up on the bike and Pope trying to grab her.

"Kie! What are you doing?!" She jumps into the truck and Pope grabs her.

“Oh shit”

“Oh my god”

“Are you good? Did she-did she make it?” Top asks. I nod not being able to get words out from the adrenaline mixed with fear. I see JJ stopping the bike behind us, in front of the police car.

“Okay. Maybe he's just trying to get rid of the cops” Topper comments.

I can't take my eyes off of him, fearing his impulses until he throws a rock at the police car braking the window.

"He did it! They’re chasing him!" Pope shouts.

“Topper stop! Stop the truck” I ask him.

“I'm not stopping the truck”

The guys shout at him to stop the truck.

“We're going to get JJ!”

“Come on man!”

“I'm not going to jail for him, no chance!” He shakes his head.

“Stop the truck, please” I ask him quietly, my voice breaking. He sees the fear on my face and he agrees.

“All right, all right, damn it”

“Turn around”

“I'm not- I'm not going to jail”

“Topper look at me. They’re gonna arrest him, we can't leave him behind”

“Damn him, damn” He turns around and drives.

“Go faster, you need to go faster”

“I'm trying, I'm risking my whole life for this shit”

“It’s gonna be fine”

“Turn left!” Pope directs.

“No! I'm getting out of here” he states.

“Topper!” I take the steering weal off of him and turn it left.

“No way, he's up on the overpass” Sarah says and the next thing we see is the motorcycle falling off of the overpass right in front of us, getting absolutely destroyed. We all gasp we get out of the truck to run and look for him.

“J!” I say panting, “J! Where is he?!”

“Shit!”

“no, no, no, no”

“JJ?!”

I start crying. “Where is he?”

“Maybe he's up on the bridge” pope suggests.

“No, no, no” I start sobbing.

“I wish I could say I did that on purpose,” I hear his voice behind me. I get up and he looks right at me. “But that was the gnarliest power-slide I’ve ever done”

“You're alive!!” Pope shouts and hugs him. “Dude!”

“I know, I'm surprised too”

“Shit that was gnarly” Topper says.

Sarah pushes him and starts hitting him on the chest “Oh Jesus, Oh God” he complains. She hugs him tight. Kie goes after her and warns him that’s she’s going to kill him while she hugs him too.

“This is really nice and all but we should really get out of here” Cleo says.

“Yeah, yeah, let's roll” Topper agrees.

I don’t listen to them, I look at JJ with tears falling from my eyes still, I get closer to him and he looks at me waiting for my reaction.

“Don’t... don't ever do that again” he manage to say. He lowers his head without his eyes off of mine, his hands come to my waist but before he could get any closer we hear a cop shouting down at us.

“Hey, hey you kids don't move”

He grabs me and we start running to the truck.

“Stay right there! I said stay right there!” the officer shouts again. We get on the car quickly and Topper starts driving getting us out of there. Later we realized it was all for fucking nothing because the cross was fake, there wasn't any cross on the box.

After reassuring Pope that we will find the real one and thanking Topper, JJ and I go to my house where I sit on my bed grabbing my head trying to process everything that just happened.

JJ moves around my bedroom doing the same. “You realize it was all for fucking nothing, you- you had to flirt- I had to watch you flirt with that idiot for fucking nothing” he complains. I look at him as if he’s crazy.

“You do realize I thought you fucking died for a minute there, and all of that was for nothing too. I don’t fucking care about Topper! I thought I lost you, JJ!”

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry baby, I got down there as fast as I could and then everybody started hugging me and I just wanted to get to you, and then that fucking cop came. I’m sorry, I’m sorry it all happened that way” he hold me tight. “I love you, I’m sorry”

“I love you, I don’t know what I would have done without you” you try not to cry all over again.

“I’m fine, okay?” he asks and I nod, he kisses me and the rest of our night goes on holding each other tight as if it was the last time. Luckily, it wasn’t.

[thehandmaidenofcreativity]

Just so cute? Part II

WC: 4.1k

Rating: 18+, fluff (maybe a little angst?) to smut

Comments: idol!Seungmin and female reader. Longtime friend of SKZ and Seungmin find their footing after some confusion the night before. This could potentially have a third part, if people seem to want it. It is a continuation of Part I.

⋆｡°✩

“Truth or dare!?”

After hearing his last truth question, you feel like you have no choice. “Dare, I guess.”

The delight is plain on Felix's face. Maybe you made a mistake. “I dare you to go down to the store and get everyone ice cream!”

Your sigh of relief harmonizes with Minho’s sigh of disappointment. “Yongbokkie, you need to find a happier medium between your truths and your dares. Plus, she shouldn’t go alone.”

“I don’t mind –”

“Seungminnie Hyung should go with her!” You hope the look on your face is attributed to annoyance at Jeongin’s interruption rather than frustration at his meddling. He shrugs. “He’s had the least to drink.”

Seungmin agrees before you can object. I guess it’s time to talk. But first… “Okay Innie, truth or dare?”

His girlfriend looks on a touch worriedly as he chooses dare. “Great. I dare you to take a shot of whatever condiments Minho wants to throw in a glass.” His face goes a little green while the others laugh and offer their condolences. 

You don’t stick around for the aftermath of your punishment, heading to take care of your own dare. As you’re putting your shoes on, a hoodie drops onto you. 

“You know you really don’t have to come with me, Minnie.” You pull his hoodie over your head, savoring the smell of him as it envelops you, and turn to face him. 

“I know, but I’ve been waiting for the chance to talk to you.”

You consider playing dumb to try to put the conversation off, but you just nod when you see the serious look on his face. “Let’s go then.”

You walk for a few minutes before either of you say anything. 

“About last ni–”

“Noona, I–”

The tension breaks with your laughter. This is Seungmin. Regardless of your confusion over your feelings, you’ve always been able to talk to him. This shouldn’t be any different. You’ve been acting silly. 

“I’m sorry.”

“No, no, you’re fine. Go ahead, Minnie.”

He sighs and looks a little like he wishes he’d pushed for you to speak first. “I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable this morning. I didn’t really think through what I was doing; I didn’t mean to cross a line. I don’t want you to feel like you need to avoid me.”

Despite the darkness of the night, you can tell his ears are red. He’s not looking at you anymore, instead looking down at his feet like a puppy who just got scolded. You take one of his hands in yours before you answer. “You have nothing to apologize for, Seungmin. Did I really seem like I was avoiding you?”

You know you’d been putting off talking to him, but you hadn’t realized that it was so noticeable.

“Kind of?” He steals a glance at you, cheeks puffed out as he considers his next words. “I thought you might stay at our dorm today when the others left or come to my room when you got back. I guess I didn’t ask you to come to me, though, and I’m realizing now that it might’ve looked like I was avoiding you, staying in my room like that.”

“I didn’t think you were avoiding me.” When you get to the store, you have an unspoken agreement to continue this when you return outside. You grab a variety of ice creams and see that Chan texted asking that you bring back the least spicy ramen you can find for a dare. Menace that he is, Seungmin of course grabs the spiciest option, and you text back a smiley and a thumbs up. You can’t help but laugh at Chan’s inevitable demise. When you leave the shop, the mood sombers again, but you’re still close. Seungmin insists on carrying the bags, so you link your arm around one of his. 

“Can I ask why you kissed me this morning?” You’re being a little bit of a coward, still making him carry the burden of the conversation, but you understand where he’s at even less than yourself.

You’re pretty sure he walks for a full minute, lips pressed into a thin line, eyes straight ahead. “Well, it was a combination of things. I’ve always felt like we really connected. Both when we hang out together and when we talk while we’re on the road. I think it’s always been a bit different with you than our other friends. Lately, you’ve been on my mind a lot, but I didn’t want to talk about it and mess up our friendship. I really do value your friendship, and I know the rest of the guys do, too.” He glances at you then, maybe trying to read your expression, gauge your reaction to what he’s saying. You find you’re not all that surprised to hear it. Of them members, he has always been one you felt you could resonate with most. You know how caring and kind, how loving he is with the members, and you’ve seen how his treatment of you is nearly the same. You do have a tendency to gravitate toward each other. God, have I been this dense?

“Anyway, when you kissed me during the game, I got it in my head that maybe you were starting to think of me that way, too. And we never kiss goodnight on the lips like that, though I know we were drunk. And…” He shifts both bags into one hand so he can run his fingers through his hair. He’s clearly flustered. 

“And, Min?”

He says it with a rushed sigh before looking away. “And you felt so good in my arms, and you looked so beautiful; I had to ask.” He comes to a stop, turning to face you. You look up into his eyes, nearly getting lost in their depths. He looks beautiful. “And you said yes.”

You trace his features with your eyes, resisting the urge to run your fingers over those lovely lips, along his strong jaw. Now it’s your turn to be brave. “I did. And it was a wonderful kiss, Min. I can’t say that I’m exactly where you are –”

He starts to look away, his face falling a little bit, so you do reach up to touch him now. Your hand rests against his cheek, turning his head so that he’s facing you again, though he keeps his gaze downcast. Sad puppy vibes abound. “But. I do think I’m starting to catch up.”

His eyes flash up to yours, and you can see his hope. You know you should say more, but for now, you’d rather show him how you’re feeling. You tilt your face up while your hand slides back to wrap around the nape of his neck, drawing his lips to yours. It’s short and sweet. His lips are soft as flower petals; he’s much more reserved than he was this morning. It’s for the best, though. The ice cream will start to melt if you don’t get back soon, plus anyone could see you out here. 

⋆｡°✩

The rest of the walk has a different brand of silence, the comfortable, companionable kind of  quiet shared between people who are just happy to be in each others’ company. 

Reentering the dorm is a little like walking into a riot. Naturally there’s plenty of yelling. Someone (with a death wish, clearly) has strewn as many of Minho’s cat clothes as they could find around the living room. Chan is laughing so hard that he’s crying with Jeongin actively trying to smother Jisung with a pillow on the floor in front of him. It’s perfect.

“Ice cream!” Minho yells when he sees the bags in Seungmin’s hands. He grabs one bag, digging through for his favorite before tossing it to Chan. As he reaches in, he pulls out the ramen with a look of utter betrayal on his face. 

“I asked you to get the least spicy one! Do you want me to die?”

With a laugh, you immediately throw Seungmin under the bus. “I’m sorry, honey. Seungmin told me that one would be best.”

Hand to his chest, fake outrage on his face, Seungmin feigns innocence. “You told me that was for Changbinnie Hyung; I never would’ve gotten that for Channie Hyung.” He stage-whispers to Chan, “watch out for that one, she doesn’t have your best interests at heart, Hyung.”

You venture into the chaos, passing out ice cream, hearing about the shenanigans you missed while you were gone. When you make your way to a less murderous Jeongin and a barely breathing Jisung, you give the latter a little kick. “You guys can quit meddling; we’re figuring things out. 

Jisung beams up at you while Jeongin deadpans, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Whatever you say, Innie.” You plant a kiss on his cheek, bringing out his dimples. 

The rest of the night ends up being a lot calmer than the one before. The group opts to watch a movie rather than getting the games going again. One turns into two, and everyone snuggles up together. When the second movie ends, the others start figuring out sleeping arrangements and who all will be heading back home to their own beds. Seungmin takes your hand, leading you back to his room. The t-shirt you wore to bed the night before is slung over his desk chair. 

He eyes the shirt. “Are you gonna stay over again tonight?” 

You nod, grabbing the shirt as he leaves the room. You’re entering new territory here. It makes you nervous. You consider leaving your clothes on but ultimately decide it would be more awkward to act differently than normal. You’re sitting cross legged on his bed, chewing on your lip when Seungmin comes back in, gently closing and locking the door behind him.

He approaches with a small smile, giving you a peek at the braces he too often tries to hide. You expect him to sit beside you, talk about what you guys are to each other, what you’re becoming. What actually happens is much better. 

His big hands are on either side of your face, lips crashing to yours before he even gets all the way onto the bed. Your tongues clash; he’s kissing you like a thirsty man drinks water, taking as much as he can get. As your arms wrap around his neck, his hands move down to your thighs; he lifts you with surprising strength, sliding underneath you so that you’re straddling him. In your state of undress, his hands easily slide up under your shirt. One stays near your hip, rubbing his thumb over the top of your panties. The other continues up, giving your breast a squeeze before pinching your quickly stiffening nipple between two fingers. 

You gasp into his mouth, excited by his touch and surprised at his ferocity. Your hands swiftly reach down, gripping the hem of his shirt and drawing it up. He breaks the kiss to drop it to the floor and pull yours up and off to join it. Immediately, his mouth locks onto your breast, licking and sucking, while his hand moves to tease at your other nipple. You arch into his touch with a soft moan, one hand in his hair while the other sneaks between your bodies to grasp his cock. It is an impressive length and its girth makes you salivate as you imagine the way he’ll be filling you soon.  

It’s his turn to groan as you start to pump him through his shorts. He drags your mouth back to his and allows you to push him down onto his back. He kneads his fingers into your ass as you grind against him. Even with the remaining layers between you, it feels amazing. Seungmin clearly agrees. “Fuck.”

You smile into his mouth, pleased to hear how you’re affecting him. You start kissing along his jaw, licking and nibbling at his neck, drawing a sharp exhale out of him. With that, his hand appears between your legs, another soft groan escapes his lips when he makes contact with your drenched panties, realizing just how hot he’s made you. The rough circle of his fingers almost makes you want to forget what you had in mind. 

“Noona, I –”

You silence him with a kiss. “Just relax, Minnie. Let me take care of you.” You kiss your way down his body. You’ve seen him shirtless before, but you never imagined you’d have the chance to be this intimate with him. He’s thin, but you can feel how strong he is with each kiss and caress. You stop to nip at his hip, and glance back up to see him smiling down are you, lower lip pulled between his teeth. You tuck your hands into the waistband of his shorts, pausing for just a second before pulling them off along with his boxers, tossing them to join the rest of your clothes on the ground. 

As you settle yourself between his legs, you lick your lips and run your fingertips lightly along his cock. He’s so big. You aren’t sure that you’ll be able to take all of him, but you can’t wait to try. 

Seungmin props himself up on his elbows so he can watch you more easily. He looks almost mesmerized as you drag your tongue from base to tip, eyes locked on his. You wrap your lips around his head and suck hard. A strangled whimper comes from the head of the bed as Seungmin tips his head back, exposing his lovely long neck; you wish you could leave dark marks all over it. 

You take it slow, one hand wrapped around his base while you lick, kiss, and suck along the rest. You gradually take more and more of him down your throat, his melodic moans combatting your discomfort at his size. You can tell he’s doing his best to stay still, to let you do your work, but as you try to take him a little further, his hips jerk up with a “fuck.” You gag, tears springing to your eyes, and pull off for a second to catch your breath. 

“I’m sorry, baby,” he sits halfway up, reaching to cup your cheek and brushing away a tear with his thumb. “It just feels so good.”

You like hearing him call you ‘baby.’ You just smile at him, then lazily drag the flat of your tongue over his tip to collect the precum leaking out. “I’m fine, Minnie. Don’t worry.”

Before you can get back to your work, he pulls your face up to his for a kiss. “As much as I like this, I was hoping we could switch things up.” 

His smile is so relaxed and beautiful. You nod, and he reaches over to dig in his nightstand. “Shit. I’m going to kill Jeongin.”

He flops back over onto his back with a sigh, and you can’t help laughing.

“It’s not funny, Noona,” but he’s chuckling, too. “Things were going so well.”

“They’re still going well, Min.” You lay down at his side and give him a few kisses. “We don’t have to go any further. But if you feel comfortable, I do have an IUD. So as long as we’re both clean, there’s not much to worry about. Granted, I should’ve checked that before I put your dick in my mouth.”

You’re both laughing again. “Don’t worry, Noona; I’m good. I haven’t been with anyone since the last time I got tested. I would never do anything that could harm you.”

And you know it’s true.

“Well then,” you move to straddle him again. You’re still aching for him, the brief interruption doing nothing to slow you down. As you grind your hips, you know he feels the same. As much as you want to take the next step, you loathe to stop. He feels so good. “I guess we’re good to go.”

Before you can do anything else, Seungmin moves suddenly, flipping you so that you’re underneath him. Once again, his speed surprises you as he peels your panties off your body and settles between your thighs. 

He sits back on his heels, his mouth is quirked up on one side. “Almost good to go.”

You pull a face. “Kim Seungmin, it’s rude of you to make me wait for your cock.” 

His smile widens as he leans down to kiss you. But instead of giving you what you want, he shimmies down your body until you’re gifted with the beautiful view of Seungmin’s head between your thighs. You almost want to complain, impatient to have him inside you, but the feeling of his breath ghosting over you paired with that of his hands caressing your hips while he stares up at you with those boba eyes amps up your anticipation. “I got ahead of myself; I need to do something first.”

He teases you at first, kissing the insides of your thighs, your outer lips – his mouth everywhere but where you want it. Where you need it. You slide your hands into his hair, pulling lightly to try to redirect him, and whisper, “Seungmin, please.”

“Patience, Noona.” The smile he flashes at you reminds you that he’s one of the group’s biggest menaces. Luckily, he heeds your plea anyway, and your mind goes blank the second his tongue touches you. He mimics the way you started with him, a nice, slow lick, then swirling his tongue around your clit for a moment before blowing on it gently. You clench and moan at the sensation. 

He works you slowly, teasingly, switching up his technique every time your legs start to tremble. It’s so good and terrible all at once; you don’t know how much more you can take. When he suddenly starts sucking and flicking his tongue up and down, you feel you might implode. If you weren’t so turned on, you might be embarrassed by the whine in your voice.

“Minnie…”

He pulls away and sits up with a grin, almost simultaneously sliding two long fingers into you. His thumb begins circling your clit as they curl inside you. You let out a small whimper. 

He shifts so that he’s kneeling with one hand posted at your side as he pulls his fingers out to stroke himself. You’re disappointed to be left empty, but love watching him spread your wetness along his shaft. 

Seungmin drags the head of his cock through your folds, tapping your clit with his clit a few times before moving to fill the loss of his fingers. When he starts to slide in, you can’t help the moan that leaves your lips. He smiles even wider as he lowers himself down, now braced on his elbows as he slowly buries himself into you. “Tell me how you’re feeling, Noona.”

“Oh, Minnie,” you all but gasp, wrapping your arms and legs around him. Your nails dig into his back as he starts slowly rocking his hips. He fills you so well, hitting just the right spot. “You feel so, oh, so good, Seungmin. God. You’re, uh ah, perfect.”

Whether it’s your words or the squeeze of your body around him, Seungmin can’t go slow anymore. He picks up the pace, and you try to meet him thrust for thrust. He sits back and slides his hands under your knees to fold you so that your knees are at your chest. In this position, you’re unable to kiss him, though it had been getting hard to focus on kissing anyway. Instead you watch the concentration and pleasure on his face as he begins slamming into you; it’s a symphony of skin on skin, heavy breathing, gasps, and moans. 

You start to near your peak, and he must be able to tell. He sits up more, and his hands slide up your thighs to bring your calves up over his shoulders . It’s almost too much for you. You can’t do much more than clutch at the sheets. He pounds into you, his fingers digging hard into your hips. You might end up with bruises. Good as it feels, you need more to put you over the edge. 

“Min… I need…”

He knows. He sticks his thumb in his mouth for a moment before applying delicious pressure to your clit. The friction created with his thrusts has your eyes watering. Your breath is coming out in gasps and moans as you try to say his name. You grab the hand that’s still on your hip. 

“Baby, I’m gonna come,” he pants. 

You can feel the surge in him as he tries to stave it off. It tips you over the edge. Your body is on fire as you convulse around him. Seungmin soon follows you, allowing your legs to fall back down around his hips, he grinds into you. His other hand finds yours, fingers interlocked above your head, and his forehead rests on yours as you ride out your pleasure. 

When the tremors pass, he plants a soft his on your lips before slumping down with his face in the crook of your neck. You wrap your arms around him, relishing the feel of his weight on your body. You lay like that for what feels like forever, breathing each other in as he grows soft inside you. Finally, he sits up and pulls out, grabbing the package of wet wipes from his nightstand for a quick clean up. Then, like the night before, Seungmin lays down, pulling you against him – this time on his back, your head resting on his chest. You fall asleep easily with his arms around you, listening to the steady beat of his heart. 

⋆｡°✩

You wake when you feel Seungmin getting out of bed and pressing a kiss to your forehead. 

“Minnie?” You murmur, trying to reach out and touch him before he moves too far away. He takes your hand and brings it to his lips. 

“I’ll be right back; I just want to start the coffee.”

You let your eyes close again and stretch as he heads to the door. You hear a huffed laugh and open your eyes to see him walking back to you with something in his hands. A basket?

He holds up the note that must’ve been on top. “Minho Hyung thinks he’s funny.”

Your eyes widen, and you sit up as he sets the basket between you. Your cheeks flush as you take in its contents: two bottles of cold brew, two bottles of gatorade, a handful of granola bars and a couple bananas, a package of wet wipes, a bottle of lube, a sleeve of condoms, and – 

“What is this?” You unfold a pamphlet of some sort. It shows a few stick figures doing a variety of stretches to ‘help avoid thigh burn out,’ all with Minho’s signature wrinkly-faced Jureumi. “Do I even want to know what the note says?”

You’re sure your face is as red as Seungmin’s as he reads it aloud:

Darling Puppy, Did you forget you live in a dorm with other people? As proud as I am to know that you’re a competent lover, I think I speak for us all when I say there’s no need to provide further evidence. Here you’ll find a few goodies to aid you in your adventure – remember, it’s important to not only have enough sustenance to maintain your stamina but also to do your best to avoid cramping. Also, keep in mind that not everyone wakes as early as you, so any morning activities should be kept to a minimum volume. In a pinch, biting a pillow can stifle a good number of… interjections.  Don’t make me hurt you, Your Favorite Hyung  P.S. Happy for you, Noona. You’re welcome to stay over any time so long as you keep your dog on a leash.

You’re pretty embarrassed, but luckily you’ve witnessed plenty of embarrassing moments when hanging with the guys. You can’t believe you’d both forgotten to try to keep things quiet. Still, this isn’t even going to be the most awkward sex story from this dorm. Felix will forever hold that crown. And when you’re laughing with Seungmin about it, seeing the unabashed joy on his face, you know you’d do it again, if given the chance.

Seungmin leaves you to shower, saying he’ll go out to get a true breakfast. Typically he doesn’t like to eat in his room, but when he gets back he lays the food between you on the bed then pulls something out of the other bag he brought in. A couple sets of ear plugs. He’s grinning as he brings out a bag of small bows to stick on top. “Think this is a good enough apology gift?”

[tammyjackson50-blog]

Unspoken Attraction\\ S.M

Summary: When your dance partner gets sick right before the biggest competition of the year, you're stuck in a nightmare. Your teacher’s solution? Pair you with the one person you can’t stand. Now you’re forced to rehearse every day with the guy you’ve spent years avoiding. The worst part? He's actually good, and he enjoys it.

~~

The dance studio buzzed with excitement as the upcoming competition was getting close. It was a 2000's hip-hop couple dance, and everyone was eager to prove themselves. Y/n stood with her friends when her phone rang. Looking at the screen, she saw it was her dance partner, Jake.

"Hey, Jake! What's up, my guy?" she answered, "Y/n, just don't kill me, okay? I... I can't do it," Jake's voice was strained, tinged with guilt. "I've tested positive for COVID. I'm really sick and there's no way I'll be ready by next week." Y/n's heart sank "What? Where the hell did you get covid from?? No, Jake, this can't be happening omg, the competition is next week. We were so ready." "I know, I'm so sorry. You need to find someone else, Y/n. There's no other way."

" I hope that you'll get better, except me coming for you in your dreams." He laughs. " I'm glad to know that I have such a good friend like you." She ended the call, her mind racing "Guys, Jake's out. He somehow got COVID in 2024 and can't compete," she said, feeling stressed.

Nearby, Sam Monroe leaned against the wall, surrounded by his group. His eyes was on Y/n, he heard the conversation. They had always been rivals, their competitiveness simmering with unspoken attraction. He walked passed her, a smirk playing on his lips.

"Trouble in paradise, Y/n?" Sam's tone was teasing, but his eyes held a glint of something more. Y/n glared at him, not in the mood for his games "Oh ,not now, Sam." Their dance teacher, Mr. Bradley overheard the exchange and stepped in. "Sam, you know our policy. We help each other out. Y/n needs a partner, and you're one of our best." Sam crossed his arms, feigning indifference. "I don't do couple dances, Mr. Bradley. You know that. I prefer solo or group routines."

Mr. Bradley sighed, clearly frustrated. "Sam, you have the skills, and you know it. Y/n needs you. Step up." Sam looked at Y/n, who was biting her lip in worry. He could sense her desperation and the weight of the competition pressing down on her.

"Fine," he said rolling his eyes. "But only because I don't want our studio to look bad." Y/n looked up, surprised "Wait, really? You're going to partner with me?" Sam shrugged "Looks like it. Don't think this changes anything between us, I'm still going to outdance you." Her competitive spirit flared "Ha, We'll see about that, Monroe." He looked at you with no expression "we'll do it when we'll be alone" and turned around, leaving you annoyed yet somehow relaxed, knowing that you are not out of the competition.

Later that day, as the sun has set, the studio had emptied out, leaving just Y/n and Sam. Neither of them wanted to stay, but they know that they had to practice together. The silence was very awkward

Sam sighed, breaking the quiet "I can't believe that I need to do that... and with you." Y/n shot him a look, "Yeah, well, I didn't ask for this either, Monroe, but thanks, I guess."

They stood in the middle of the dance floor, the studio dimly lit around them. It was their first time being alone together like this...

"Okay, um, this is our song," Y/n said, her voice a bit softer. She walked over to the sound system and pressed play. The beat of a 2000s hip-hop track filled the room. Sam listened, his face unreadable "Classic choice. Guess you have some taste after all."

Y/n rolled her eyes. "Don't get too cocky. We still have to sync up, and that means actually working together." He smirked. “I hope you can catch up with the dance,” Y/n said, her tone dripping with sarcasm. Sam rolled his eyes, a smirk on his lips. “Just show me the moves, Y/n, I’ll manage.” Y/n sighed, stepping into the center of the studio. “Alright, let’s start with the basics. This is the routine Jake and I came up with.”

She began to demonstrate the steps, her movements fluid and precise. Sam watched intently, surprisingly focused. He mimicked her moves, catching on quickly. “Not bad, Monroe,” she admitted reluctantly. “But you’re still not hitting the beats right. Watch my feet.” Sam’s eyes followed her every move, his gaze intense. “Got it.” As they continued, Y/n couldn’t help but notice how effortlessly he picked up the dance. It irritated her that he was good at everything, even when he pretended not to care. He was Sam Monroe, after all, always cocky and insufferable.

Then came the part of the routine that made Y/n a bit uncomfy. It was a move that required them to get close. “Okay, this next part is... a bit different,” she said, “We have to be really in sync, just... follow my lead.”

She stepped closer to him, feeling his warmth. Their bodies moved together, the music guiding them. As their hips swayed and their chests brushed against each other, the air between them grew thick with unspoken tension. It was hard to focus on the steps when her heart was racing. Sam’s hands gripped her waist, pulling her slightly closer. His breath was hot against her ear. “Like this?” Y/n swallowed hard, trying to keep her composure. “Y-Yeah, just like that.”

The moment felt electric, a dance of challenge and desire. Their eyes met, and for a brief second, it was as if the rivalry had melted away, leaving only the raw attraction between them. Just then, the moment was interrupted by a knock on the door. her friend, Clara, poked her head in. “Hey, I forgot my water bottle.” Y/n stepped back quickly, her face flushed. “It’s over there on the bench.”

Clara grabbed her bottle, glancing curiously between them. “Thanks.. See you tomorrow.”

As the door closed behind her, Y/n and Sam stood there, the tension still lingering but now mixed with a hint of awkwardness. “We should call it a night,” Y/n said, avoiding his gaze. “We’ve covered enough for today.” Sam nodded, “Sure, same time tomorrow?” “Yeah,” she replied, already heading for the door. “Same time.”

As you hurried towards the bus station, your mind was a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. "What the fuck was that?" You muttered under your breath, replaying the intense practice session with Sam over and over in your head. Why did Mr. Bradley have to pair us up? I could have found another partner......... I think.

Lost in thoughts, you didn't notice the car pulling up beside you until the window rolled down, revealing Sam's smirking face. "Need a ride?" he asked casually, as if the charged atmosphere from earlier hadn't existed at all. "No thanks, Sam," you replied firmly,as you walked towards the bus station He drove slowly beside you, "Are you sure? I can take you home," he offered. I couldn't help but laugh, though there was a hint of disbelief in it. "I'm good, Sam," I said, shaking my head slightly. He matched my laughter with a smirk, his gaze lingering on me for a moment longer before he drove away, leaving me with a mix of relief and a bit of confusion.

---- Later that night, as I lay in bed, I remembered that I had promised to show Sam a video of one of my recent practices with Jake. I found the video on my phone and sent it to him, along with a quick message.

-"Forgot to show you this earlier, this is what the dance is supposed to look like"

I was already ready to turn off my phone and go to sleep, but to my surprise, Sam replied almost immediately.

-"Watching it now. Let's see if you and Jake are really that good"

A moment later, another message popped up.

-"Okay, not bad. You two look pretty comfortable together"

um

-"Thanks, I guess? you know, Jake and I have been dancing for a long time now"

-"That part where you guys get really close... looks a bit too comfortable if you ask me"

-"'It's called chemistry, Monroe. Something you might want to work on"

-"Oh, I have chemistry, Y/n. Just not with everyone."

-"Maybe you should try being less cocky and more focused then."

-"Maybe I just need the right partner" ouch "Too bad you and Jake were so cozy. Wonder if you'll miss him during that part".

I rolled my eyes, feeling the irritation bubbling up again.

-"We’re just dancing, Sam. Not everything has to be a big deal"

-"Sure, sure. Just seemed like you were enjoying it a bit too much. Can you handle the same with me?"

His comment made my heart skip a beat, and I quickly typed back.

-"I can handle anything, Monroe,just try to keep up."

-"Challenge accepted, Goodnight, Y/n"

-"Goodnight, Sam."

You were really annoyed by him. As if dealing with Sam Monroe in person wasn't enough, now he was getting under your skin through text messages too. You couldn't deny there was something about his cocky attitude that got to you, but you refused to let it show. With a sigh, you turned off your phone and tried to focus on getting some sleep.

-----

The next day, you arrived at the studio and sat down with your friends, glancing around the room. Sam was nowhere to be seen.

"Is he serious?" you muttered under your breath, pulling out your phone. You quickly typed a message to him.

-"Where are you? We're supposed to be practicing."

You tapped your foot impatiently, waiting for a response. A few minutes later, your phone buzzed.

-"Relax, I'm on my way. Traffic."

You rolled your eyes, not buying his excuse.

-"Traffic, huh? Sure you're not just trying to avoid practice?"

~"Why would I do that? I enjoy our little sessions."

-"Well, hurry up. We don’t have all day."

~"Don't worry, I won't leave you hanging."

You put your phone away, still irritated but trying to focus on the routine. Your friends were doing their thing, but your mind was elsewhere, finally, the studio door opened, and Sam walked in, looking as relaxed as ever.

"Morning," he greeted casually, his eyes meeting yours with a familiar glint of mischief. "You're late," you shot back, crossing your arms. "Traffic, remember?" he said with a smirk. "Let's get to work."

It going to be another interesting day.

You played the music and started practicing, diving straight into the routine. The energy of the hip-hop beat drove your movements, pushing you both to sync up despite the tension. You approached the part of the dance you hadn’t practiced yesterday a challenging sequence that required trust and coordination.

“Alright, this is the part where I run and jump into your arms,” you said, already anticipating Sam’s cocky response. “Then I slide under you, between your legs, and get up smoothly. After that, you need to hold my leg around your thigh.”

Sam raised an eyebrow, his signature smirk appearing. “Sounds easy enough. Ready when you are.”

You rolled your eyes, taking a deep breath. “I know it's very tempting for you not to catch me when I jump, but please, for the sake of the dance, just do it right.”

He chuckled. “I got you, Y/n. Don’t worry.”

The music built up, and you took off, running towards him. With a leap, you trusted Sam to catch you, and to your surprise, he did. You slid under him, moving smoothly between his legs, and then rose gracefully, positioning your leg for him to hold. His hands found their place around your thigh, holding you firmly. The last moment of the dance, your bodies locked in a pose that was both intense and intimate. You could feel his breath, steady and controlled, as he held you in place.

“Not bad, Monroe,” you said, slightly breathless. “Thanks,” he replied, his voice low “You’re not too shabby yourself.” You both stayed in that position for a beat longer than necessary, the music fading out. The air between you was charged, the dance pushing you closer both physically and emotionally.

Finally, you stepped back.

“Let’s run it again,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady. “Okay” Sam replied, his smirk back in place. “Just don’t expect me to always be this nice.” "That's the last thing I expected from you, Monroe" I quipped, feeling a mix of surprise and amusement as we ran through the jump sequence again. This time, when I tried to move away at the end of the routine, Sam didn't release my leg,his grip was firm, teasingly defiant. As his smirk widened, clearly enjoying the moment, I decided to play along. In response to his playful teasing and to assert a bit of control, I lightly tapped his stomach with my knee. It was enough to catch him off guard, making him release his hold with a surprised laugh.

"Touché," Sam chuckled, rubbing his stomach lightly where I had nudged him. "Didn't know you had it in you." I shrugged nonchalantly, masking the flicker of satisfaction at having caught him off balance. "You should know better than annoy me, Monroe."

He grinned, the tension between us easing into a more playful banter. "Noted. But admit it, Y/n, you enjoyed that."

I rolled my eyes, refusing to give him the satisfaction of a direct answer. "Let's just focus on getting this routine right, okay?"

Sam nodded, the competitive glint returning to his eyes. "Deal. But just so you know, I'm not going easy on you." "Good," I replied, a challenge in my tone.

"I wouldn't want it any other way."

--

A few hours later, you and Sam were both exhausted and drenched in sweat. Your shirt clung to your body, and though you didn't notice, Sam's gaze lingered a bit longer, an unfamiliar feeling stirring within him.

"Officer, can I go home already? I'm sick," Sam joked, his voice dripping with mock desperation. You laughed, rolling your eyes. "Just one more time, Monroe. We need to nail this."

He groaned playfully, but there was a hint of admiration in his eyes. "Alright, one more time. But after this, I'm taking a break."

You both took your positions, the music starting up again. Despite the fatigue, you moved through the routine with a renewed sense of purpose. When you reached the jump, Sam caught you effortlessly, and you slid under him smoothly.

As you rose and positioned your leg for him to hold, there was a brief moment where your eyes met. The intensity in his gaze caught you off guard, but you quickly refocused on the dance. His grip on your thigh was firm yet gentle, and you could feel the heat radiating between you two.

When the music faded out, you both stood there, catching your breath. "See? That wasn't so bad," you said, trying to keep your tone light. Sam nodded, a small smile playing on his lips. "Yeah, you did alright." You rolled your eyes, but couldn't suppress a grin. "Get some rest, Monroe. We'll pick this up tomorrow."

"Sure thing, Y/n," he replied, his eyes lingering on you for a moment longer before he turned to grab his stuff.

-Yo yo, I think that I stared writing this 3 months ago, what do you think?

[nonasuch]

Can I, in fact, get you started on Yesterday? That's the movie premised on everyone just forgetting everything about the Beatles one day right?

Yes, and it drove me nuts because that’s a great premise! But it was totally wasted in a way that I found extra frustrating, because they only needed to slightly reshuffle the existing pieces and give the love interest some kind of coherent characterization, and they just. did not do that.

So like. The premise of the movie is that Jack, the main character, is a struggling musician who gets hit by a car and knocked unconscious at the exact moment of a mysterious global blackout. When he wakes up in the hospital, he discovers that he is the only person on Earth who remembers the existence of the Beatles.

It takes him a bit to realize this: he quotes When I’m Sixty-Four to his best friend Ellie at the hospital and she just gives him a weird look. When he plays a bit of Yesterday while hanging out with friends, they all freak out about how good his new song is, and he realizes that something is Weird.

There’s a fun scene where he frantically googles Beatles-related terms and comes up empty. “Beatles” turns up bugs and cars. Ringo Starr? Never heard of him. We find out that the band Oasis never existed either, and over the course of the movie there are a few more disappearances thrown in as jokes: Coca-Cola, cigarettes, and Harry Potter have also ceased to exist, or never were.

So Jack, who knows most of the Beatles catalogue by heart, and is a decent musician, decides to re-record them. And they’re instant hits, and he starts getting money and fame and record deals thrown at him, and hanging out with Ed Sheeran (played by Ed Sheeran), and going on talk shows and so on. The movie rapidly turns into a parable about the cost of fame, not letting success change you, remembering what’s more important than money and power, etc etc.

It’s just like. kind of lazy about it? and the romance plot feels both incoherent and slapdash, because Ellie has no personality and no comprehensible motivations.

Like, she’s been Jack’s music manager since they were teenagers, and she’s been convinced he was destined for greatness since she saw him play Wonderwall at a school talent show, but she also is weirdly convinced that she’s not good enough for him even before he becomes super famous. But Jack never actually stops being into her, even at the Peak Hubris part of the plot, and he eventually gives it all up and tells the world he didn’t write any of the songs as part of a big dramatic love confession. Except it’s never really clear what was holding either of them back in the first place, or why a dramatic love confession was even necessary.

So, here is how I would fix the movie.

First, the romance plot feels super tacked on anyway so let’s just resolve it earlier and give the poor girl an actual job in the plot. I’d have Jack sit Ellie down fairly early, after he’s released the first few songs and they’ve blown up but before the Fame Spiral starts, and say:

okay. look. I know this sounds nuts but either that accident caused the most specific brain damage in the history of the world, or I remember a different version of reality than everyone else, because I did not write these songs. I just remember them, and no one else does.

And the movie did actually set up a way for him to prove this, but they never used it! for some fucking reason! Because Wonderwall is the song that convinced Ellie that Jack was destined for musical greatness, and Wonderwall has also been erased. Which creates an opportunity, which the movie did not take, for a really effective scene where Jack asks Ellie what song he sang at the talent show. And she can’t answer him, which freaks her out because that’s a core memory! Thats the reason she’s so devoted to Jack in the first place!

So he starts playing her the song. And she knows she’s never heard it before, but she also knows that on some level, she recognizes it.

So from that point onwards, Ellie and Jack can be in cahoots, sharing the secret, which allows the romance to develop a lot more effectively and convincingly, and puts Ellie in a better position to talk Jack down from Fame Hubris, and allows Jack to remind Ellie that he’s not actually too good or too famous for her, because she knows he’s actually just the beneficiary of a deeply weird cosmic accident.

Also, there’s a better way to resolve the romance plot. Ellie has bafflingly low self-esteem, for reasons that are never explained, so like. please explain that, movie. But since half the romance plot is just Ellie going “I’m not good enough for you!” I do have a better resolution than what the movie did.

The only Big Dramatic Gesture Jack does comes at the very end of the movie, and it’s boring and doesn’t actually have anything much to do with Ellie — he already hates being famous by then, he wants out regardless. He needs a gesture that’s actually about Ellie, and allows them to be together and in cahoots again for the rest of the Price of Fame plot.

Which, again, the movie laid the groundwork for at the beginning, and never used.

I’d have Jack tell Ellie that he knows — is baffled by? but knows — that she thinks she ought to leave him for his own good, and that she thinks his music career is more important than her. To prove it’s not, he’s going to give her a song. A Beatles song he’s never going to record, never going to play, for anyone but her. A song that used to be one of the most famous songs in the world, but is only ever going to be theirs, hers and his, from now on.

He plays her When I’m Sixty-Four.

That does the trick: they’re together through the rest of the movie, and decide how to get Jack out of the Fame Trap together, and retire into happy obscurity together.

There is one other optional change, but it would require buy-in from Paul McCartney.

There’s already a scene in the movie — one of the best bits of the whole thing, honestly — where Jack meets an elderly John Lennon, who has never been famous and is perfectly content with his life. I think a nice epilogue would have Jack track down Paul, and find him in his back garden, planting flowers and beatifically happy.

After a short conversation in which Paul appears to have no memory of ever ever having been a Beatle, Jack leaves Paul to enjoy his retirement.

After he’s gone, as the camera pulls away and the movie ends, Paul starts to whistle When I’m Sixty-Four to himself.

[pinazee]

Bounty Hunters!

I just find it so adorable when a kid has bright ass food stains on them. Its like the essence of childhood or something more poetic haha also, this might sound insane, but this is the first ep i could feel that shawn and gus had been friends since childhood. Possibly because they’re nearly wearing the exact same shirts and at the same steps so the parallel is a lot more obvious. Like it just clicked in my brain or something.

I just really liked this shot. That is all.

Shout out to James and Dulés’ stunt double

This is one of those times i don’t envy actors. This looks so uncomfortable. Also, i can’t decide if it’s naivety or arrogance that Shawn would think he could go into this bar and be okay?? I guess you can assume that Shawn knew Tancana would stop them before they caused any serious damage but that one guy was about to hit him with a chain, and its one thing to go into this on your own, its another to bring your friend with you.

A+ scene work from Corbin Bernsen here lol

This is what I do to get my dog to stop eating her toys. Doesn’t work with her either.

One of the few times Shawn kind of loses it with Gus and has to recollect himself haha. Like he’s been frustrated sure, but he usually applies some sort of manipulation. But i really like this scene because usually its Gus thats frustrated with Shawns behavior.

Sidenote: about the super sniffer. I don’t think its that he can smell things others can’t, because Shawn usually points it out and can recognize it, i think the super sniffer is that Gus can break the smell down and put a name to it. Like the gardenias in the perfume, the ginger blossoms in the kangaroo paste. Shawn just knows its kangaroo paste. Idk, i had to think about it at least haha

What a goof. But also, ive started watching Gus while shawns doing his breakdowns and he’s like miming beside him haha if i see it in a later ep i’ll gif it.

Its kind of insane that Bird hands over Tancana and this supposedly alleviates Juliets guilt? Like i get the line she says we all make mistakes as a way of saying Juliet’s forgiven herself, but um, she didn’t really do anything. I wish instead they would have had Shawn notify the cops where he’d be, have lassie ignore him per usual, but let juliet take off on her own (against orders) and save them from bird that way (possibly at the parking garage). This way we can see that she can still rely on her gut and it isn’t handed to her by shawn, kind of like the If You’re So Smart ep, when he solved her case and its somehow a win for her. Its still a sweet gesture that Shawn was cool semi-risking his life (and gus’s for that matter) so she can “save” them and get her good reputation back, even if it doesn’t quite make sense haha

The near kiss was perfection! I think a full kiss would have been too soon, particularly because Juliet was pretty vulnerable just then and it wouldn’t feel right. But the fact that it made juliet nervous enough to start dismantling her gun like she’d been doing all day- fantastic way to gain insight into to her mind and give us the audience hope that the ship would exist. She seems pretty conflicted about him (i think mainly because she doesn’t date coworkers?). I mean, from her perspective, she only know him as immature, irresponsible to a degree, who relentlessly flirts, BUT at the same time is incredibly kind and fun. I would have some hesitation too. Being kind and fun will only get you so far, in my book at least. I also need someone i can rely on to do the boring grown up stuff so im not solely responsible and Shawn just doesn’t come across as someone who can do that (yet). And not to spoil it, but in the bank robbery ep, we learn Juliet likes them mature.

okay. I don’t think this is going to be a popular opinion (just to prepare you mentally) cause i believe everyone loves this scene, and don’t get me wrong i love it too, i just think it doesn’t quite fit in the ep? Like i know shawn was flirty with jules the whole time, and he’s trying to impress her, but it was always jokey and they didn’t really have a solid heart to heart moment, and it pulls away from what Juliet was going through. I think if he’d consoled her a bit, let her know that a mistake is inevitable and assuming that she wouldn’t make any was setting her up to fail, that she was still the smartest, and bravest cop on the force and she should remember that the next time that voice in her head says differently, then he could maybe go for the kiss. Maybe. I think I would’ve preferred it if he’d just consoled her and she was the one who went to kiss him but changed her mind at the last second and thats how we get close talking. Because she wants to kiss him, but at the end of the day she’s pragmatic.

(I just want to quickly add that i by no means think i can write these better. This is just fun for me to put my own little spin on it. I also know other factors go into making a show (time, budget etc) so there are things writers wanted to include that would have improved their eps but said factors forced them to make changes. I don’t want these little opinionated changes i’d make to come across as mean spirited or arrogant. They’re more like responses to a writing prompt if that makes sense.)

[nevertheless-moving]

The Demon of Yunmeng Part Four

Part One — Part Three

“…What.”

“I want your permission to ask Wen Ning to help me at the trial — I swear if either of you doesn’t want to then I’ll figure out something else, but the only plan I can think of that might work is if I pretend to be a cutsleeve, and, ah, I think I mentioned that I’m not super popular with my old friends right now, so he’s kindof my only option."

He peeked his head up and grinned his best, most charming smile, but Wen Qing just closed her eyes and rubbed her temples.

“That,” she said. “Is a terrible plan.”

“I admit it’s not my best.” he sat back on his heels, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “But bear with me! If I can just create enough doubt that maybe the stories aren’t true, then the women might confess that they’re being bribed or threatened or that now they see me up close they can’t be sure it was actually me who attacked, you know? Yu Xiang said she couldn’t see anything, so, well…there’s a chance that people will believe it, isn’t there?”

His tone started to edge on desperation the longer she looked at him with a pinched expression. “People love to believe crazy stuff about me!" he said, throwing his hands in the air. "You have to have guessed there’s all sorts of rumors about why I actually helped you, this is just — shifting those around a little."

She stared at him longer.

“Three quarters of the cultivators are just going to be there for entertainment,” he said, even more defensively, “Once people latch on to a story that's scandalous or interesting — 'The Demon of Yunmeng turns out to be a cutsleeve' — come on, it could work!”

“Wei Wuxian,” she said slowly. “Even if everyone immediately accepts that the two of you are passionately in love, there is absolutely no way on Earth that it will make you look like less of a degenerate predator. You do realize that, right?”

“Of course it would!” he argued, offended.

“My brother stutters. His cultivation is low. He is permanently disabled.”

“He could punch through a boulder with that brace I made him,” he said petulantly.

“If he didn’t care about moving the next week, sure. That’s not the point. " She made a frustrated noise, waving her arm sharply. "It’s about the image. You and I both very well know that my brother has a spine of iron. He lied to the core melting hand himself to save a stranger. He stood up to Jin Zixun, despite being in chains and half beaten to death. None of that matters — he looks like a victim. He is currently famous in the cultivation world for being a victim. He would just make you seem even worse — someone else you’d taken advantage of.”

“I…okay, but he’s still a man. No one would question that.”

“Are you serious right now? You do know people can have sex with men and women, right? There’s not a hard and fast rule that it’s only ever one or the other.”

Wei Wuxian boggled in her direction. “That… that doesn’t sound right. Are you sure? Both? I’ve never heard — no one’s ever even hinted that…”

“Ancestors be kind,” she said, pressing her palms to her eyes. “This is actually your plan. This is actually why you rode all the way here.”

“I’ve never heard of someone liking both,” he said defensively.

“And how much do you actually talk about cutsleeve sex with your friends?" Wen Qing said, condescending. "Your friends who won’t associate with you anymore?”

“…Has anyone ever told you that you can be very mean sometimes?”

“Yes. And yes I am sure. And no, it’s not a secret. I can probably find a fucking woodcutting or spring book,  if you want proof. While I’m sure some people share your… understanding, there will be plenty who will see this as extra evidence of your endless depraved lust."

He gave up on kneeling properly, sprawling out on the floor.

“If I’m not cut into pieces until I die or being hunted by thousands of cultivator this time next month then I would love to trade porn with you,” he said glumly. “That actually sounds really fun, why haven’t we done that before? I bet there’s all sorts of weird stuff written down as ‘medically recommended dual cultivation.’”

She exhaled heavily. “Maybe…maybe your plan could work if you found someone else, and claimed to exclusively want to be the receiving partner? Your face is probably thick enough for that, and it would have a similar 'why would anyone claim it if it wasn't true' justification as the accusations against you.”

He rolled over, propping his chin up on his hands to look at her.

“Receiving?” He asked. “What like, the guy who, um, takes the other guy in his mouth?” he felt his face heat a little. She was a doctor, and also Wen Qing, a woman who had already seen him more naked than most people ever physically get, but she was still a woman, and it was starting to feel a little weird to talk about this stuff with her.

He powered through. Clearly she knew things he didn’t. “Isn’t that a little unfair? Wouldn’t you, I don’t know, take turns? In the spring books between men and women it always seems unfair when there’s just one person doing all the work.”

Somehow, the look on her face grew even more condescending. “Your plan was to pretend to be a rabbit — possibly for the rest of your life — and you don’t even know how two men have sex?”

“My life has gone in unexpected directions since the last time I went shopping for pornography,” he said, sarcasm coming out with slightly more bite then he intended. He coughed. “Look, If that’s not what you mean then…”

“Anally," Wen Qing said impatiently. “I was referring to sex between men in which one party's penis goes into the other’s anus — I’m struggling to understand how you’ve never heard of this — isn’t it a common wartime joke? A sixteen year old cries after killing someone so everyone says they might as well bend over for a real man ?”

“Ooohhh…that’s what that…” A few overheard conversations clicked into place. He felt it wasn't entirely his fault he had been mostly left out of friendly fireside chats during the sunshot campaign.

“But —“ he struggled to imagine it, resisting the urge to reach into his trousers and check the size of his own asshole. “There’s no way anything like that could possibly fit. You’ve got to be messing with me, or someone was messing with you.”

“When I first started my medical cultivation training,” she said, eyes unfocusing slightly, “My Shizun sat me down and told me that being a doctor would involve a lot less finding a magical perfect herb and saving the day then you would expect, and a lot more pulling objects out of unlikely places. And if I wasn’t prepared to deal with that, I should probably quit.”

“And—“

“And she was right. It’s a muscle. It can stretch like any other muscle.” She paused. “Certain salves and oils are highly advisable. And cleaning yourself before and after is very important.”

“Wow,” Wei Wuxian said wonderingly. “You learn something new every day. I guess it’s got to feel good, right? If people are shoving…” he looked at her questioningly.

She grimaced. “Bottles and jars are popular, and also a terrible idea. I knew a doctor who actually lost someone to infection that way— they clenched down and the shards—“

“Ugh,” he winced.

“Yes. Vegetables are… generally acceptable."

"Vegetables?" Wei Wuxian said, delighted.

"—But it can be dangerous if something gets lost, so it's important to have a firm grip — I know there are certain merchants who deal in replica male genitalia specifically, with flared bases —“

 “Those I’ve seen, but I always figured they were for women!” He barked out a laugh then groaned. “Damn, I really am ignorant. I probably wouldn’t have been able to pull this off, even if it was good idea.”

“It’s not your worst plan,” she offered. 

“Thanks.”

“Really,” she said thoughtfully. “It… could work, maybe — with a different man, who could match you in terms of power.”

He didn’t bother saying that there were few men who met that description, and he lacked any other friends who would do such a thing for him anyway. Instead, he let his head fall from his hands, pressing his face to the floorboards with a groan.

Several moments of silence passed before being interrupted by a knock at the door. He didn’t bother getting up as Wen Qing sighed, then stepped past him.

He heard the door open. “Ah, Lan Er Gongzi,” she said. “Please, come in — allow me to prepare more tea.”

Wei Wuxian swore softly to himself, then shifted as casually as possible to a slightly more graceful side sprawl, propping his head up on his hands as Lan Wangji’s perfectly white robes and perfectly black boots came into view.

“Lan Zhan,” he said, lifting his gaze up the perfectly upright body to finally meet startlingly golden eyes.

Wei Wuxian's greeting smile was slightly more reserved than what he had given Wen Qing earlier. They had never spoken of the rumors while they were growing — the Lan sect of course prohibited gossip. But things had grown from gossip to outright accusation at this point…

“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji replied. His expression was as hard to read as ever, but there was some emotion there. Anger, maybe?

The sour feeling returned to Wei Wuxian’s stomach. Of course, as much as it had felt like their relationship was improving, of course Lan Zhan would be all to prepared to believe the worst of a Demonic Cultivator.

He stood up. “If you’re sure to protect Wen Gongzi’s virtue,” he said bitterly. “You have nothing to fear. She could paralyze me with needles before I had a chance to do anything… unseemly.”

Lan Wanjii’s brow furrowed. “Wei Ying.” he said. “Do not speak unchastely of others.”

Wei Wuxian snorted. It was such a Lan Zhan reply. “Relax, I’m going, you won’t have to —“

“You’re not going anywhere,” Wen Qing said tersely. “Now sit down in a chair like a normal person.”

He looked at her in betrayal. “I won’t leave town,” he said. “I was just going to go visit with Popo, until your guest had departed. Unless of course he’s concerned for her as well—“

“Sit,” she ordered.

He sat down.

“Lan-er gongzi,” she said, far more politely. “If you would join us.”

Lan Wangii also sat down.

Wei Wuxian pointedly did not look in his direction.

"Wuxian," she said, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Just ask him."

He startled. Surely she didn't mean...

"Ask him what you asked me when you came in," she ordered.

He really didn't want to. But he had to know, so he swallowed hard, forcing himself to face his greater detractor head on. Golden eyes burned as they often did. Lan Wangji couldn't do anything without doing so with one hundred percent effort — that included looking at someone.

"Do you believe it?" Wei Wuxian finally blurted out. "The rumors about me? The accusations? The... the thing they're holding a whole fucking conference about."

Lan Zhan stared at him.

"No," he finally said, after a pause that felt longer than it was.

Wei Wuxian tried to ignore the immediate sense of relief and gratitude that washed over him. He surely didn't care that much about the opinion of Lan Zhan, a man who had never offered him a hint of warmth in his life?

The relief immediately slipped into suspicion. "Why not?" he demanded. "Aren't you always calling me an irredeemably evil demonic cultivator?"

The space between Lan Wangji's eyebrow folded in. "No."

Wei Wuxian rolled his eyes. "Fine, aren't you always calling me a currently evil, actively choosing not be redeemed demonic cultivator?"

"Never called you evil."

"Wha — what the fuck, are you splitting hairs right now? Wicked, unrighteous, you know what I —"

"Wei Ying," Lan Wangji interrupted, definitely looking angry now. "I have not. Your path is wicked."

"I..." his eyes started burning, and anger welled up alongside. "What's the fucking —"

A cup slammed down on the table front of him.

"No yelling in my office," Wen Qing said.

"Wen Qing —"

"Drink your tea and let Hunguang-Jun say his piece. Actually, both of you drink your tea, then Lan Wangji talks, then Wei Wuxian."

Wei Wuxian looked at the other man, expecting him to protest being ordered around, or at least to silently frown and then not comply, but he just nodded, and reached for the cup, face mostly smooth again.

Wei Wuxian huffed, then drank the tea. It was annoyingly good.

When both of their cups were empty (fuck Lan Zhan is taking his time). He leaned back disrespectfully, hopefully masking the nerves thrumming through his body, staring at Lan Zhan with an expression that was probably failing to come across as bored.

Lan Wangji took a breath, then rotated slightly in his seat, such that he was at an equal partial angle to both Wei Wuxian and Wen Qing.

"I do not believe the accusations. Wei Ying would not do such things. He may use wicked tricks, he may lose sight of the righteous path. But he has always pursued justice, ultimately."

He paused, but Wei Ying didn't try to interject. His heart was thrumming too hard in his chest, and there was a rushing sound in his ears.

Lan Wangji continued. "Furthermore, the final night of the wedding feasting, there were Jin attendants, filling his cups specifically. He grew inebriated faster than I thought normal, though at the time I attributed it to the strength of the wine. I later learned the feasting wine was not particularly strong, leading me to suspect he was served something different. When he began losing consciousness, a cultivator I did not recognize made to escort him away. I did not trust this, so I intervened, escorting Wei Ying to his rooms myself. I made sure he properly warded the room from intrusion, after which he immediately collapsed. I do not believe he was in a state to commit heinous deeds, even if he had wanted to. Furthermore, when I exited his chambers there were servants lingering unnecessarily. They left without sufficient explanation when I confronted them. I suspected a plot against him, perhaps an attempt to steal the Ying Tiger Talley, but not what happened."

He paused, turning to look Wei Wuxian in the eyes. "I am sorry. I should have spoken sooner. My clan insisted I not interfere during the chaos of that morning. I will speak at the inquiry."

It was the most Wei Wuxian had heard him say at one time outside of a nighthunt or military report, and there was no question in his mind he had prepared each word as meticulously.

At some point during the speech Wei Wuxian's body had started leaning in his direction. He swallowed hard, sitting up. "You... Lan Zhan, you really are too good, you know that?"

Lan Wangji looked down. "I did not believe the rumors even before that," he said quietly. "I swear, Wei Ying, I did not."

"Well," Wen Qing said, startling Wei Wuxian, who had somewhat forgotten she was there. "This works out perfectly! You have the ideal candidate to help with your plan, one with a dedication to helping Yu Guniang get justice, who is already wholly convinced of your innocence."

"Very funny," Wei Wuxian said through gritted teeth. "So glad you're able to make jokes about this now."

"Plan?" Lan Wangji asked, because of course he would.

Wei Wuxian pressed two fingers to his forehead, unable to believe that Wen Qing had even brought up his foolish and embarrassing idea in front of the second Jade of Lan.

"Just one of my wicked tricks intended to bring about a righteous end," he said, suddenly exhausted. "Nothing you would ever involve yourself. It probably wouldn't have worked anyway."

Lan Wangji continued to stare at him.

"Really! Setting aside the lying and scandalous nature, it's a bad plan — we were talking about how stupid my idea was before you came in, I swear."

"It would be stupid to try with my brother," Wen Qing corrected. "If Hunguang-Jun took his place... it actually might have a chance of being believed."

"Yes," he snapped. "Because Hunguang-Jun is known for not lying, something the plan relies heavily on!"

"Wei Ying. What plan?"

"Forget it, Lan Zhan!"

"Wei Ying—"

"I said it's a stupid idea and you wouldn't agree to it anyway!" His voice has gotten overly sharp, but he couldn't help it. "It's not worth wasting any more words on, and if I'm the one saying that, you know it must be true!"

"If you really don't want to ask Lan er-Gongzi for help," Wen Qing cut in, interrupting Lan Zhan's extremely loud glare, "We could discuss the idea I thought you were coming to ask my assistance with."

The Demon of Yunmeng whipped his head her direction. "Qing-jie!" he cried. "Why didn't you say you had a better plan than mine!"

"Because I don't. My plan is also very bad, and I don't want any part in it, it's just what I thought you would come up with. I underestimated your creativity once again."

"Do you want me to flatter you? We both know that any ideas that come from your brain are bound to be better than what comes from my resentful-energy clouded mind!"

"Wuxian, you really won't like my idea." She was smirking. She clearly thought she had something on him.

"Do you want me to get down on my knees and beg for your help? You know I have no face to lose in front of you!" He glanced at Lan Zhan, who's face had mostly smoothed out, only missing a small wrinkle above his nose.

"You might want to leave," Wei Wuxian whispered, winking. "I wasn't joking about getting undignified." The wrinkle deepened, brow once again fully furrowed.

"Very well," Wen Qing sighed. "If you really are that unwilling to even ask Lan Wangji — possibly the only man who's reputation is good enough to cancel out your terrible one — then we can discuss the other option."

Wei Wuxian leaned toward her eagerly. "Which is..."

"Castration."

He felt the blood leave his face. "What was that?" he asked weakly. "I think I might have misheard you."

"Well, if you were missing the equipment necessary to impregnate Yu Xiang," she said, face completely serious, "Then there would hardly be much to discuss, would there now? A skilled cultivator could probably heal such a.... wound to make it seem questionable when it had occurred. All you would have to do would drop your pants at the trial and claim it had occurred when you were captured by Wen at the start of the war."

A glance over at the other man in the room revealed he looked, if not horrified by most people's measure, certainly distressed by Lan standards. His eyes were slightly wider, the brow wrinkle deeper. His hands were clenching the chair seat.

Wei Wuxian laughed nervously, resisting the urge to protectively cradle the parts being discussed. "If you would allow me a moment to get back to you, Wen-Guniang."

He didn't wait for her to answer, instead slipping to the floor to kneel beside Lan Wangji, who looked at him with what might have been bewilderment, but was probably just mild annoyance. Wei Wuxian pretended it was distress on his behalf.

"Hunguang-Jun," he pleaded, clutching at cloud-embroidered robes. "Lan Wangji. Lan Zhan. Will you please pretend to be my longtime cutsleeve cultivation partner in front of the entire Jianghu?"

"Yes."

"Lan Er-Gongzi," he begged. "At least take a moment to hear —" he blinked, brain catching up to his ears. "Wait, did you say yes?"

"Yes."

"...What."

Prev Chapter (Three) Next Chapter (Five) MDZS AU Masterlist

[hosuuuus]

why does writing make u sad? are ppl being mean? pls don’t put any pressure into ur writing like its just a bit of fun. but like if its makes u sad then that can’t be helped. sending hugs x

was thinking of filtering my answer for a bit, but ahh screw it. personal blog anyways. if i say anything too raw or bitchy or kinda ..eh. i'll either delete in the morning, or just learn from it.

cw: rant. might delete later but ive been frustrated. (if my tone gets snipppy it's not you anon!! love you love you lots anon and im sending you the biggest warmest tightest hug on earth ;3;!!! you're so sweet <3)

Anyways anon i think that's why I want to stop. Exactly because it's supposed to feel fun. but it's not anymore.

I think I miss the times when my blog felt like i was just talking to a few friends online, bounce off each other's ideas, and then that. now that, that was fun.

but overtime, I guess with how other ppl saw how i bounced off everyone's ask with a full on yap session, they prolly think that i'd work always like that. Not to sound like im being specific about it, but I guess there are times where I can feel ppl just send in something short, and they sleep with the thought that the next day, I just barfed out a whole entire drabble for them ready to read. Like as i've said... some version of freaking chatgpt.

not even a damn please

just straight up

"this character doing this."

like okay that's it.

not that I don't appreciate anons sending in ideas and their thoughts, I really do. But there's a difference in the feeling you get when... let's say I've brought out some baked strawberry pie, and people have a slice and they like the pie and ask about it's filling, ingredients, if i have anymore strawberry or pie recipes planned.

versus someone just taking a slice, and instead of saying they like it or at the very least ask about it, the first thing they just go is

"when are you going to make oreo cheesecake."

or.. something like that? do i make sense??? ugh.

which okay the first few times, just ignore it right? who cares lol, it's your blog. do what you want. don't mind that. write for you, and the people who actually show they care.

but when you get spammed the next day with a few more asks like that, it does get a bit tiring when that's all your greeted with.

and i guess im confused about my feelings on it because my blog somehow feels overwhelming with ppl, but at the same time it feels like it lacks... ppl. which is so weird to say, but i do feel that way anyways. it's like the more people find out about it, the more empty it feels.

And idk, it's even worse when I've also said i kinda grew a distaste for strawberry pie now, and the very first thing, THE VERY FIRST THING i receive after i just post saying something like "hey i think im gonna take a little break from strawberry pie now.. it kinda makes me feel sick from the smell" is 6 more asks the very next day saying

"omg can you make more strawberry pie? i just found out about your strawberry pie. heres a list of more strawberry recipes."

like every single time.

and yeah. honestly i just choose to ignore these things. literally plug my ears and go on a break. vacation mode and all that. it's my blog, ill write when i want, ill make strawb pie when i want.

But i just can't help but long for when i actually felt like im talking to people and they're actually like talking to me. pie or no pie. the pie was just an extra. and i actually felt GOOD about giving my pie sometimes because people have made it clear that they loved it, and they really like it! and there's a connection because well... i like making pie now for you guys! i made it for my tastes, but its nice that it suits your tastes as well! :) ! yay!! i love the vibes going on, you guys are cool.

just gonna say it honestly: i miss feeling appreciated. i miss feeling like a friend, who just so happens to write/bake pie, and people get excited and say so when i tell them I have something I want to share.

because now all it feels like is the only way i can ever talk to people again is if i pick up those damn strawberry pie recipes and show up with a whole tray of it.

And as much as I want to think "oh you don't have to do that.", it's so undeniable how it's all they ever care about.

Like the only time people ever want to talk to me is when i make strawberry pie again. and which okay maybe that's an oopsie on my part because that's all my blog was about in the early days.

but the funny thing is, the FUNNIEST thing to me is: it's so damn rare to see people comment about my strawberry pie, despite the fact they've made it abundantly clear that's all they're here for.

"blah blah blah you shouldn't complain at least people are showing trying out your pie. there are some people out there who can barely get ppl to get into their stuff"

i am. im thankful, never forget that. I hold each and every person who atleast tried some of my stuff dear to my heart. I would go more insane if i just held all these thoughts on my own and got ignored. I love that I've gotten some really nice and lovely people to talk with!!! and i love that im even moots and even friends with them til now!

but i guess im so frustrated because: how many times do writers have to act nice and shy about "hey uh... if you guys liked my work maybe you can leave a little uh.. thing? a little note just saying you kinda like it? even an emoticon is fine :-) if not totally understandable haha."

I think my frustration is doubling over because it's not just me, i just don't like seeing anymore fellow writers or artists who work so hard, so so hard, and so lovingly into their craft, and have to act nice about asking for appreciation from time to time. measly crumbs of comments when they deserve so so much more than that.

because as much as we want to preach the "write for yourself" thing, there's still an undeniable sense of gratitude and loyalty authors/writers will always have with their audience. so sure, maybe we''ll throw a bone, you liked my stuff, i like your stuff, we bounce off each other, everyone's happy!

but holy shitttttttttttttttttt do people make u feel like sometimes that that's all you're good for.

which makes you get into this weird limbo wherein:

we are here for your strawberry pie and just your strawberry pie. will we grab a slice right in front of you, every time you make strawberry pie? yes.

will we ever talk to you and tell you that we like your pie, maybe even thank you sometime for the effort or even say how it tastes good?

fuck no.

in fact, how about we just ask you when the next batch will be. or how about we just ask you to make another one right here right now. we want one with a bit more whip cream.

Can we at least say please?

...no.

and its soooooooooooooo so funny too because when i stop making strawberry pies. im sure by now some people will just go:

"that's alright,.. at least we know what it tastes like. we'll just put your strawberry pie ingredients into some other writer, or some other machine and ask them/it to make the pie for us."

which makes me feel ??? i don't know?? because i stopped making those pies, but somehow. for some reason. they're everywhere. which i don't know if i should feel happy and grateful because "wow i guess ppl really like the pie...?" but then again, they make it very very VERY clear that:

we just like the pie. not you.