#it’s just me and mutuals and I wanna keep it that way
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lupinqs · 2 days ago
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CHAPTER FIFTEEN ━━ Future In Our Hands
☆ ━ pairing: hopkins!paige x oc (dani callan)
☆ ━ word count: 6.3K
☆ ━ warnings: sexual content (fingering—p giving, morning sex)
☆ ━ links: my masterlist, take me to church masterlist
☆ ━ author’s note: well… that’s it. my first baby all grown up. i actually cannot believe it’s over yall, genuinely. i love all of you so much, i love dani so much, i love dani and paige so much—like how’re we supposed to say goodbye…. anyways thank you all for your support on this fic, take me to church will always, always have a special place in my heart. ALSO! i’m planing to write an epilogue, so i want you guys to send in some ideas of what you might wanna see in that!! i love you all so much, onto the next 🫡
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JUST LIKE DANI thought they’d be, things are different now—but also so much better. After leaving her father’s house, she stayed with the Bueckers for a few weeks. They were kind, welcoming, and unwaveringly supportive, but Dani knew it couldn’t last forever. Paige’s family has their own lives, and—no matter how much they told her she wasn’t—Dani didn’t want to intrude. So when her Aunt Julia offered her a place, Dani accepted, moving into her aunt’s modest apartment just outside the city.
It’s been over a month now, and things are good—really good. Julia and Dani have grown close, almost like they’re making up for lost time. Dani feels lighter in this space, unburdened by judgment or fear. And then there’s Grey, Julia’s son. The baby has taken to Dani in a way that’s mutual and immediate; his face lights up every time she walks into the room, and Dani finds herself softening in his presence in ways she never thought possible. For the first time in years, she feels like she belongs somewhere.
The alarm on Dani’s phone blares, slicing through the comfortable silence of her new bedroom. She groans, reaching blindly to shut it off, and Paige groans along with her. Dani’s hand finds the phone, and she presses the button with more force than necessary, silencing the obnoxious buzz. The room goes quiet again, but it doesn’t last long.
Behind her, Paige stirs, nuzzling closer until her face is buried against Dani’s neck. Her arms tighten around Dani’s waist, one hand slipping beneath the hem of Dani’s sweatshirt to rest warm and solid against her bare stomach.
Dani lets out a breath, feeling Paige’s slow, steady breathing against her skin. “We gotta get up,” she murmurs, though the words lack any real urgency.
Paige responds by shaking her head, her voice muffled. “Noooo. Just a few more minutes.”
Dani huffs out a quiet laugh, the corners of her mouth lifting despite herself. “P…”
But before she can say more, Paige groans dramatically and shifts her weight, rolling fully on top of Dani. She’s warm, all long limbs and lazy strength, her hands sliding up Dani’s sides as she tucks her face against Dani’s neck again. Her lips brush against the sensitive skin there, leaving soft, barely-there kisses that make Dani’s heart stumble in her chest.
Dani sighs, her hands coming up to rest on Paige’s hips. “Paige, we’re graduating in a couple hours.”
Paige makes a noise somewhere between a groan and a sigh, finally lifting her head to look down at Dani. Her hair is a mess, her eyes half-lidded with sleep, but she’s smiling in that lopsided way that always makes Dani’s stomach flip.
“What time is it?” Paige asks, her voice scratchy and low.
“9:30,” Dani says, trying to keep her tone firm.
Paige scoffs. “We ain’t gotta be there ‘til 11:30. We got time.”
Before Dani can respond, Paige leans down, her lips brushing against Dani’s in a kiss that’s soft and lingering at first. Dani melts into it instinctively, her hands sliding up Paige’s back, but it doesn’t stay soft for long.
The kiss deepens, shedding its softness in favor of something needier, hungrier. Dani feels Paige’s weight pressing down on her, grounding her in the moment, the exhaustion they’d both been clinging to dissipating like mist under the heat building between them. Paige tilts her head to angle the kiss just right, her lips sliding against Dani’s with purpose. There’s nothing rushed about it, but there’s an urgency to the way Paige grips Dani’s waist, her fingers splaying against bare skin like she’s memorizing the shape of her.
And then Paige shifts her hips just so, grinding down in a way that steals the breath from Dani’s lungs. Dani gasps against Paige’s lips, her fingers digging into Paige’s shoulders, and she feels rather than hears the soft hum of satisfaction Paige makes in response.
It’s just enough to spark something deep inside her, enough for her body to react instinctively. Dani’s hips buck up to meet Paige’s, the friction making her head spin, and before she knows it, her arms are around Paige’s neck, pulling her impossibly closer. Paige adjusts, settling fully between Dani’s legs, her weight a warm and steady pressure that has Dani’s pulse thrumming wildly.
The hand Paige had been using to grip Dani’s waist slides up, her palm skimming the curve of Dani’s side and brushing just under the swell of her chest. It’s light, barely there, but it sends a shiver coursing through Dani all the same. Paige feels it—of course she does—and her lips curl into a smirk against Dani’s mouth before she dips her head to trail kisses along Dani’s jaw, her breath hot against sensitive skin.
“P…” Dani breathes, her voice shaky.
Paige doesn’t stop, doesn’t even slow down. Her lips press against the spot just below Dani’s ear, lingering long enough to make Dani squirm beneath her. “Hmm?” Paige hums, her tone teasing, almost lazy, like she knows exactly what she’s doing to Dani.
“Paige,” Dani tries again, her hands sliding up to bury themselves in Paige’s messy blonde hair. She tugs lightly, just enough to make Paige lift her head and meet her gaze. Paige’s eyes are heavy-lidded, her pupils blown wide, and the sight sends another jolt of heat through Dani.
“We’re—” Dani swallows hard, trying to focus, but it’s almost impossible with Paige looking at her like that, with Paige’s hand still skimming her side, her hips still pressed so perfectly against Dani’s. “We’re gonna be late,” she manages, though it comes out far weaker than she intended.
Paige grins, the kind of grin that’s all mischief and affection rolled into one. “We got time,” she says, her voice low and certain. And then she’s insistently reconnecting their mouths, lips sliding together perfectly, teeth clashing just slightly. Dani’s eyes flutter shut as she continues kissing the blonde, feeling Paige’s hands begin to trail downward. They slide along Dani’s stomach, tracing slow circles on her skin, almost teasing. It makes Dani squirm a little until Paige’s fingers brush along the waistband of the pair of Paige’s basketball shorts Dani wore to bed.
Without Paige even asking anything, Dani’s nodding against her, hips shifting. They’re on a time crunch, so if they’re gonna do this, they gotta do it fast. Paige grins against Dani’s lips—probably at her eagerness—before sliding her fingers under the shorts and Dani’s panties in one go.
Dani gasps just slightly as Paige’s fingers reach for her clit, the blonde humming against her lips as she begins to circle the bud. Paige’s mouth disconnects from Dani’s, her lips skimming over her jawline and along her neck. “Mmm,” she hums against Dani’s ear. “So wet, Dan.”
Dani feels her cheeks heat at the words, heat flushing through her face down to her core. She whimpers a little at Paige’s slow circling of her clit, bucking her hips enough to let her know she needs more. Paige understands immediately, and then two of her fingers are sliding inside Dani, the slickness of her making the motion almost effortless. The sound that follows is, indeed, sinful—the obscene wet noises filling the otherwise quiet room, making Dani’s stomach tighten with a renewed wave of arousal.
Paige groans a little, pulling back from Dani’s neck. She grabs at the brunette’s shorts with her free hand, pushing them down so she can see her fingers working, eyes locking onto her digits moving in and out of Dani’s cunt and the way Dani’s body arches up into her. Dani watches Paige watch, catching the blonde bite her lip, eyes almost glazing over as her fingers slide inside Dani.
It makes Dani whimper, her hips instinctively pushing back against Paige’s fingers. “Mmph… please…” she mumbles, not really sure what she’s begging for, but the need in her tone seems to spur Paige on.
Paige responds immediately, thrusting her fingers deeper, curling them just enough to hit that spongy spot inside Dani that makes her gasp loudly. Dani feels Paige’s free hand move back up her body, under her sweatshirt to squeeze at her breast, thumb brushing over her nipple. Paige’s lips find Dani’s neck again, too, biting down lightly before sucking a mark into her skin.
Dani cries out a little at the sensation, her body trembling as the pleasure begins to overwhelm her. “God, P,” she moans, voice ragged.
She feels Paige grin against her neck once more, her fingers moving faster now, her thumb rubbing slow, deliberate circles back on her clit. “Like that?” Paige whispers, breath hot against Dani’s skin.
Dani just nods, her breath hitching as she struggles to respond. “Yeah,” she finally manages to gasp out, her hips moving in time with Paige’s fingers. “Just like that.”
Dani bites down onto her lip hard, probably enough to draw blood, keeping herself in check because she has absolutely no interest in her aunt hearing her moan Paige’s name. Paige’s fingers are just relentless as they thrust in and out, the wet sounds between them growing louder and more obscene with every second. Dani feels Paige moan against her neck and that, along with the curling of Paige’s fingers, has Dani’s brows furrowing together, eyes scrunching closed, her whole body tightening.
“’M close,” Dani whimpers breathlessly, her voice barely above a whisper as her nails dig into Paige’s back.
Dani feels Paige’s fingers press even harder at her words, scissoring inside her, angling them just right. “Come on, Dan,” Paige encourages. “Wanna feel it.”
That‘a all it seems to take. With a muffled moan, Dani’s body goes taut, her muscles contracting around Paige’s fingers as she cums hard, her hips bucking as waves of pleasure crash over her. Paige holds her tightly, her fingers slowing just enough to guide Dani through her orgasm, her lips still pressing gentle kisses to her neck.
“Fuck,” Dani gasps, her body finally going limp as she collapses back against the mattress, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she tries to catch her breath.
Paige smirks down at her, slipping her fingers out. Paige presses a gentle kiss to Dani’s jaw, then her lips, then her nose, then the spot between her eyebrows before pulling back so she’s eye-to-eye with the girl. “Now it’s time to get up,” she says, cheesing.
Dani rolls her eyes, slapping at Paige’s arm lightly. “Shut up.”
THE FINAL APPLAUSE feels like it echoes forever, reverberating around the crowded football field. Dani sits there in the plastic chair, the edges of the graduation gown stiff against her arms, her cap threatening to slip off her head. She doesn’t move. Around her, classmates are already standing, hugging, and tossing their caps into the air, but Dani feels rooted in place.
It’s over.
Her childhood—whatever was left of it—has officially ended.
That’s the only thought looping in her head. The years she spent on cramped bleachers, in loud cafeterias, on basketball courts that smelled like old wood and sweat—all of it is behind her now. Her chest feels heavy with something she can’t quite name. Relief? Sadness? Fear? She shakes it off and stands, taking a deep breath that doesn’t fill her lungs the way she wants it to.
When the crowd begins to disperse, she finally spots Paige a few rows over, standing tall and blonde and unmistakable in her blue gown. Thaliah is next to her, smirking as she bats Paige’s hands away from the crooked cap on her head. Dani weaves through the sea of gowns, her own steps feeling distant and mechanical. But when she reaches them, her grin comes naturally.
“Look at us,” Thaliah says, throwing her arms around both Dani and Paige, drawing them into a three-person hug. Her grin is wide. “All grown up!”
Dani chuckles, pulling back just enough to breathe. “Finally free,” she agrees, brushing a stray strand of hair from her face.
Thaliah rolls her eyes. “Yeah, free to do what? Work? Be an adult? Ugh.”
Dani doesn’t answer because her eyes are drawn to Paige, who’s blinking quickly, her lashes wet. Dani’s smile softens as she takes in the way Paige’s lower lip wobbles just slightly before she sucks it between her teeth.
“Aww, babe,” Dani says, her voice teasing but fond. She steps closer, brushing her thumb under Paige’s eye to catch a tear before it can fall.
“I’m not crying,” Paige says immediately, sniffing and straightening her shoulders like she can will the emotion away.
“You’re totally crying,” Thaliah chimes in, her grin wicked. “Somebody get a camera!”
Paige narrows her eyes. “I ain’t crying!”
“You are,” Dani teases, her hand lingering against Paige’s cheek before letting it fall back to her side.
“Shut up,” Paige mutters, but the corner of her mouth betrays her with a twitch of a smile.
The three of them laugh then, the kind of laughter that feels bigger than the moment. It’s a release, a shared acknowledgment of everything they’ve been through together and everything that’s ahead of them. Dani lets it wash over her, lets herself feel the warmth of it as they shuffle out into the packed hallway.
The noise is overwhelming, a cacophony of voices and camera flashes and the occasional squeal from someone who’s just spotted their family. Dani’s chest tightens briefly, but she shakes it off. This is supposed to be a happy day. She forces herself to focus on the here and now.
“Alright, I’m off,” Thaliah announces, clapping them both on the shoulder. “If I don’t get to my mom soon, she’s gonna start yelling my full name in front of everyone, and we can’t have that.” She gives the pair one last grin before disappearing through the crowd.
Paige stays close as they navigate through the throng of people, her hand brushing Dani’s back as they walk. Dani can feel the slight tremor in Paige’s energy, the kind that only comes when Paige is overwhelmed, but she doesn’t comment on it. Instead, she nudges Paige gently with her elbow, and Paige gives her a grateful smile.
They find Paige’s family first. Her mom is the first person Dani notices, standing near the bleachers with a wide smile and arms open. Lauren, Ryan, and Drew are bouncing on their toes, waving furiously when they spot Paige. Bob is chatting animatedly with Paige’s grandparents, and her aunt is juggling a camera and a gift bag with tissue paper spilling out the top.
“Paige!” Lauren squeals, launching herself at her older sister the second she’s within reach. Paige laughs, catching her and spinning her around before setting her down. Ryan and Drew both aren’t far behind, wrapping their arms around Paige’s waist and clinging like a little koalas.
Dani watches it all unfold, a small smile tugging at her lips. It’s a lot, seeing all of them there, so many people who love Paige and want to celebrate her. A small pang settles in her chest, but she pushes it aside quickly.
She doesn’t have to look far for her own family. Julia is standing just a few feet away, holding baby Grey on her hip, her smile soft and full of pride. Dani’s grandparents are beside her, their expressions warm and welcoming. It’s quieter, simpler, but no less meaningful.
Julia’s arms are open before Dani even realizes she’s moving, and she steps into the hug, letting herself sink into the familiarity of it. “I’m so proud of you, Dani,” Julia whispers into her ear, her voice thick with emotion.
The words hit harder than Dani expects, her throat tightening as she blinks rapidly, willing herself not to cry. She pulls back after a moment, forcing a smile as she meets Julia’s gaze. “Thanks,” she says, her voice a little hoarse.
Grey babbles something unintelligible, reaching for Dani with chubby hands, and she can’t help but laugh as she takes him into her arms. “Hey, buddy,” she murmurs, bouncing him slightly. He giggles, his tiny hands grabbing at the tassel on her cap.
Her grandparents step forward next, wrapping her in hugs that smell like lavender and old books, murmuring their congratulations with quiet pride. Dani’s smile feels a little steadier now, a little more natural.
It’s not perfect. It’s not what she used to imagine this day would look like. There’s an emptiness where her parents should be, a hollow ache she tries not to focus on. But looking at Julia’s warm smile, Grey’s wide eyes, and her grandparents’ unwavering support, she decides it’s enough.
“Hey, kiddo.”
Dani turns to find Bob, Paige’s dad, leaning in for a hug. His grin is kind and effortless, the kind that makes Dani feel seen, like she belongs. She melts into the embrace, letting him clap her on the back as she smiles against his shoulder.
“Look at you!” he exclaims as they pull back. “High school graduate. You’ve done good, Dan.”
Her grin widens. Bob’s probably the closest thing she has to a dad these days, and she’s grateful for how steady he’s always been, how he’s never made her feel out of place. “Thanks, Bob.”
Before she can say more, Amy swoops in, wrapping Dani in a tight hug that smells like fresh laundry and perfume. “Aw, Dani, all grown up!” Amy squeals, pulling back to hold Dani by the shoulders and give her a good once-over. “You’re gonna make me cry.”
Dani laughs, brushing her hair behind her ear. “Please don’t cry, Amy. Paige’ll never let me hear the end of it.”
Amy laughs, her hands squeezing Dani’s shoulders briefly before she lets go. “No promises.”
Dani makes her way down the line, crouching slightly to hug Paige’s little siblings. Lauren and Ryan and Drew all beam at her, their arms wrapping around her tightly. Drew leans into her side, his small voice eager as he says, “You’re coming to the cookout after, right?”
“Of course,” Dani says, ruffling his hair before pulling Lauren in for a quick squeeze. “Wouldn’t miss it.”
When she stands, she feels a hand slide into hers, warm and familiar. Paige is there, her blue eyes soft as she looks at Dani, squeezing her hand gently. “Okay,” Amy says suddenly, clapping her hands together like she’s directing a photoshoot. “I need pictures!”
Paige groans, loud and exaggerated, her head tilting back like this is the most torturous request in the world. “Mom, come on—”
“No complaints!” Amy cuts her off, already holding up her phone. “This is a big day! Paige, Dani, come on.”
Paige rolls her eyes but grins as she tugs Dani closer by the hand. Dani follows easily, letting Paige guide her until they’re standing shoulder to shoulder. Paige’s arm wraps around her waist, her hand resting lightly on Dani’s hip, and Dani lets her own hand settle comfortably against Paige’s back. They tilt their heads together instinctively, their smiles wide and natural as the first flash goes off.
One photo turns into three, then four, and Dani quickly loses track of how many cameras are aimed at them. Both of Paige’s parents are taking pictures, as are their grandparents, Julia, and Paige’s aunt. It feels like every angle is covered, and Dani doesn’t even know where to look at this point.
“Oh, wait, wait!” Julia exclaims suddenly, waving her free hand while balancing Grey on her hip. “Take one showing the caps!”
Dani and Paige both blink at her, confused for a moment before they realize what she means. “Oh!” Paige says, reaching up to tug her cap off. “Yeah, yeah.”
Dani does the same, pulling her cap off and holding it in her hands. When she glances over at Paige, she can’t help but laugh. “Ooh, cap head,” she teases, nodding toward Paige’s hair, which is flattened awkwardly where the cap had been.
Paige narrows her eyes at her, a mock glare that doesn’t last long. “Fix it.”
“Please,” Dani corrects, smirking as she leans in to do just that—fix the mess. Her fingers comb through the strands of blonde until Paige’s hair looks normal again. Paige huffs but doesn’t pull away, her lips twitching upward in the smallest smile.
When Dani’s satisfied, she steps back, only to feel Paige’s hand brushing against her own hair. “Hang on,” Paige mutters, her fingers quick and sure as they smooth out Dani’s own cap-induced disaster.
Once they’ve both deemed each other photo-ready, they angle their caps toward the cameras, holding them up so the bedazzled designs are clearly visible. UConn logos sparkle under the sun, the rhinestones they painstakingly glued on last night catching every flash.
“Go Huskies!” Amy cheers from behind the phone, her voice bright with pride as the camera clicks again.
Dani feels her grin stretch impossibly wider. In that moment, she forgets about the ache in her chest, the absence of her parents, the uncertainty of the future. All she feels is this—Paige’s arm warm around her waist, their friends and family laughing and cheering, and the glimmer of the UConn logos they’ll carry with them into the next chapter of their lives.
THE NIGHT feels heavy in the best way—cool air brushing against Paige’s skin, her hoodie soft against her arms, and the low hum of cicadas filling the spaces between quiet laughter. It’s dark now, the kind of dark that stretches across the park like a blanket, broken only by the dim glow of the streetlamp by the parking lot and the stars above. The four of them—Paige, Dani, Thaliah, and Jalen—are settled into their usual spots at the park they’ve claimed since what feels like forever. The basketball court has cracks they know like the backs of their hands, the picnic table has their initials carved into the wood, and everything about it feels like home.
Paige leans against the basketball hoop, dribbling lazily as Jalen sets up for a halfhearted shot. He misses—terribly—and Paige laughs, grabbing the rebound and tossing the ball back to him. “Bro,” she teases, “you might need to rethink that NBA dream.”
Jalen points at her, mock offended. “You laugh now, but when I’m in the league, you’re not getting courtside tickets.”
“Good,” Paige fires back with a grin. “I’ll be too busy winning nattys at UConn anyway.”
The words feel easy, automatic, but they carry a weight she’s only just starting to realize. UConn. Storrs. It’s been this abstract, glittering thing for so long, but now it’s real—a fresh start, a new chapter. Summer sessions start in just a couple weeks. Basketball in the basketball capital of the world. And Dani. Dani will be there too.
She glances toward the picnic table, where Dani’s sitting shoulder to shoulder with Thaliah, both of them half-focused on Thaliah’s phone. Milkshakes sit abandoned on the table, sweating in the humid air, and Dani’s curled hair falls into her face as she leans closer to the screen. Paige watches her for a moment, her grin softening into something quieter.
“Aye,” Jalen says, nudging Paige with his elbow and smirking a little. “You good?”
“Hm?” Paige blinks, startled out of her thoughts. “Yeah, I’m good.” She spins the basketball once, catching it easily. “Just thinking about how much better I am than you.”
Jalen groans. “Aight, thin ice, Bueckers.”
Paige laughs, tossing the ball his way before walking toward the table, her curiosity piqued by whatever has Dani and Thaliah so engrossed. She hops up onto the bench beside Dani, leaning forward to rest her elbows on the table. “What’s so fascinating?”
Thaliah glances up briefly, holding her phone out so Paige can see. “My roommate at UCLA,” she says, scrolling through an Instagram profile of a girl with tanned skin and lots of beach photos. “She’s already from Cali, so.”
“Hmm,” Paige hums, tilting her head as she studies the photos. “She seems chill.”
“I think so too,” Dani agrees.
Thaliah nods. “Yeah, she’s nice. We’ve been texting. She’s into film, which gives us somethin’ in common, and she’s already invited me to a festival this fall. I think we’re gonna get along.”
Paige nods at the words before watching Dani groan dramatically, leaning her head against Thaliah’s shoulder. “I still can’t believe you’re gonna be in sunny LA while I’m stuck in Storrs with this creature.” She gestures lazily in Paige’s direction without looking up.
“Aye!” Paige exclaims, feigning offense. She ruffles Dani’s curls lightly, earning an indignant squawk. “Watch that mouth.”
Dani swats at Paige’s hand but grins, leaning back in her seat, humming, “Mhm.”
Paige smirks. “It’ll be fun, you know it.”
“Debatable,” Dani shoots back, but there’s a warmth in her tone that makes Paige’s chest feel strangely tight.
Jalen finally joins them, the basketball tucked under one arm. He stands behind them, leaning over to try and get a glimpse. “What’re we looking at?”
“My future roomie,” Thaliah says, holding up her phone again.
Jalen squints at the screen, then nods approvingly. “Damn. She fine.”
Dani bursts out laughing, nearly spilling her milkshake as Thaliah groans and mutters something about boys being predictable. Paige just shakes her head, leaning back on the bench and letting the easy rhythm of their banter wash over her. It’s moments like this, she thinks, that she’s going to miss most.
But then Dani’s hand brushes against hers, her fingers curling briefly around Paige’s, and she thinks maybe she doesn’t have to miss it. Not really. Not when Dani’s right here, and when tomorrow, and every day after, will start with both of them heading toward the same place. Together.
Jalen’s phone buzzes on the bench, the screen lighting up with a notification. Paige notices it before he does and glances over, catching the slight furrow in his brow as he picks it up and reads the message. “Ah, man,” he says, standing and shoving the phone into his pocket. “My mom’s tellin’ me to get home. Graduation tomorrow and all.”
Thaliah stretches, groaning a little as she stands. “Guess I’m out too, then. He’s my ride.”
Paige frowns, tilting her head at them. “Wow, ditching us already?”
Thaliah smirks as she grabs her jacket. “Hey, not all of us can be completely irresponsible. Some of us have families that enforce things like curfews and sleep schedules.”
“Lame,” Paige teases, but she stands to hug Jalen, patting him on the back. “Congrats ahead of time, though. Have fun tomorrow.”
Jalen grins, hugging her back.
Thaliah waves as they head toward the parking lot, leaving Paige and Dani alone on the weathered wooden bench. The night feels quieter now, though not uncomfortable—just different. The cicadas hum in the trees, and the faint smell of grass and pavement lingers in the air. Paige lets herself enjoy the moment for a second, her gaze drifting over to Dani.
Dani sits quietly, staring out at the court, her expression unreadable. It’s the kind of stillness Dani falls into sometimes, where Paige knows she’s in her head about something but won’t say what.
Paige stands, grabbing the basketball from beside her and turning it over in her hands. The weight of it feels familiar and grounding. “Play with me?”
Dani turns to look at her, eyebrows raised. “What?”
“Play with me,” Paige repeats, her tone lighter, teasing. She bounces the ball once against the ground for emphasis.
Dani snorts. “You can’t be serious.”
“Dead serious.” Paige grins, holding the ball against her hip.
“Uh-uh,” Dani protests, shaking her head. “We both know how that’ll end.”
“And?” Paige arches a brow.
Dani doesn’t move, her expression skeptical. Paige rolls her eyes, stepping closer and grabbing Dani’s hand, tugging her to her feet. Dani resists for about half a second before giving in with an exasperated sigh.
“You’re annoying, you know that?” Dani mutters.
“Yep.” Paige leads her toward the court, the basketball bouncing lightly in her other hand.
Once they’re on the court, Paige dribbles a couple of times before passing the ball to Dani. “1v1,” she says, her voice challenging.
Dani catches the ball awkwardly, holding it for a moment as she stares at Paige. “This is stupid,” she says, but there’s a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth now. “We both know who’s gonna win.”
“Doesn’t matter,” Paige replies, dropping into a defensive stance. “C’mon. Play.”
With a small shake of her head, Dani starts to dribble—slowly, clumsily. The ball bounces unevenly against the pavement, and Paige bites back a laugh. She gives Dani a few seconds before darting in to steal the ball.
Dani yelps and pulls the ball to her chest, her arms wrapping protectively around it like it’s a lifeline.
“That is illegal!” Paige exclaims, standing in front of her with her hands on her hips.
“Then quit tryna take it from me!” Dani fires back, her voice half-laughing, half-exasperated as she shifts away from Paige.
Paige grins, circling around Dani like a shark. “Aight, fine. If you wanna be like that, we can be like that.”
Before Dani can respond, Paige lunges, trying to pry the ball free. When that doesn’t work, her fingers find their way to Dani’s ribs, tickling mercilessly.
Dani shrieks, laughter spilling out of her uncontrollably. “Paige! Stop!” she yells, twisting and turning to escape, but Paige keeps going, grinning against her ear.
“This… is… definitely… a… foul!” Dani manages between gasps, her laughter growing louder as her grip on the ball falters.
“Don’t care,” Paige replies, her voice smug as she tickles harder. Dani’s back presses into Paige’s chest as she struggles, her legs wobbling beneath her.
Paige spins the brunette around, her fingers relentless against Dani’s ribs, tickling so hard that Dani’s squealing, “Paige!” nearly collapsing under the weight of her laughter.
Finally, Paige relents, stepping back as the basketball slips from Dani’s grasp and rolls across the court. Dani leans against Paige, panting and giggling, her forehead pressing lightly into Paige’s chest.
“I hate you,” Dani mutters breathlessly, swatting weakly at Paige’s hoodie.
Paige just grins, her hands settling on Dani’s hips. “Nah, you don’t.”
Dani pulls back slightly, glaring up at her with an exaggerated pout. “Yes, I do.”
“No, you don’t,” Paige replies, her voice softer now, teasing but with an edge of sincerity. Paige’s grin widens, her hand sliding upward to cup Dani’s jaw. Her thumb brushes lightly against Dani’s cheek as she leans in, her voice barely above a whisper. “C’mon, Dan, you don’t hate me.”
Dani rolls her eyes, relenting. Paige thinks she hears her breath catch. “No, I don’t.”
And then Paige tilts her head, her lips brushing against Dani’s, soft at first, as if feeling the rhythm of the moment. But then, the hesitation fades. Paige presses forward, coaxing Dani’s lips to part, and with a quiet, deep inhale, her tongue slips into Dani’s mouth.
Paige feels Dani’s mouth opening slightly more, a sigh escaping her lips. She shifts closer, hands sliding down from Paige’s chest to her sides, pulling them tighter together, the warmth of her body mingling with Paige’s. Their tongues tangle, teeth clashing slightly.
Paige’s hand on Dani’s hip trails downward, fingers slipping, finding purchase on the curve of her ass. She squeezes lightly, feeling the taut muscle beneath her fingertips, and that small movement has Dani grinning against her lips, the playful smirk against Paige’s mouth making Paige’s stomach flip.
Paige lets out a soft laugh through the kiss, a breathless sound, but she doesn’t pull away. She deepens the kiss instead, her fingers pressing a little harder, pulling Dani closer still. It’s like a slow burn, the way their bodies are melting together, hot and heavy but not frantic.
Paige takes her time. She lets her lips linger, firm but careful, savoring the way Dani responds. There’s a heat between them, an energy that buzzes under Paige’s skin, but she reins it in, keeps it simmering just beneath the surface. This moment isn’t about rushing forward—it’s about Dani, about the way she fits so perfectly in Paige’s hands, the way her lips feel impossibly soft and warm, the way she melts into the kiss.
Dani shifts slightly, her hands sliding up from Paige’s chest to loop around her neck. It pulls Paige down further, and she lets it happen, leaning into the touch, into Dani. The kiss slows for a beat, their lips brushing more gently now, like the initial spark has given way to something softer, something steadier.
Paige pulls back just an inch, her forehead resting against Dani’s. She opens her eyes slowly, and the sight of Dani—her cheeks flushed, her lips slightly swollen, her eyes half-lidded and searching—nearly takes her breath away.
“Dan,” Paige murmurs, her voice low and a little unsteady.
Dani blinks up at her, her fingers still playing lightly with the hair at the nape of Paige’s neck. She doesn’t say anything, but she doesn’t have to. The way she looks at Paige—like she’s seeing her for the first time and yet has always known her—says everything.
Paige feels her phone buzz against her skin, the vibration pulling her reluctantly out of the moment, out of Dani’s warmth. She lets out a soft breath of frustration, but she’s still not ready to fully pull away. Her hand stays on Dani’s ass, fingers tracing the curve of her hip in a way that keeps their bodies pressed together.
She pulls the phone from her pocket with a sigh, glancing at the screen, but the feeling of Dani still so close, so tangible, is enough to make her hold on just a moment longer. It’s a message from her dad asking if she and Dani want to come back and watch a movie with Drew, Ryan, and Lauren.
She shifts the phone to face Dani, letting her read it for herself. The light from the screen illuminates their faces, casting soft shadows across Dani’s features. For a second, Paige just looks at her, at the way Dani’s brow furrows slightly in thought as she processes the message, and then the way her lips curve into that familiar smile that always does something to Paige’s chest.
“You wanna?” Paige asks quietly, her voice soft but steady, letting Dani know she’s willing to go along with whatever she decides.
Dani looks at the message and then up at Paige, smiling just a little—like the smallest of secrets are being shared. She nods, and that small gesture makes Paige’s heart skip just a little.
“Yeah,” Dani says, her voice barely above a whisper, but there’s something in her tone that makes Paige’s chest tighten with affection. “Let’s go.”
Paige smiles back, the warmth spreading in her chest, and presses one last kiss to the corner of Dani’s mouth. It’s soft, lingering for a second longer than it probably should, but Paige can’t help it. She can’t help but savor the taste of Dani, the way her lips feel like home. It’s like everything before this—before the arguing, before the space between them, before all the pain—has led to this.
This moment. This kiss. And everything that comes after it.
When she pulls back just a fraction, still feeling the heat of Dani’s skin under her hands, Paige wraps her arm around Dani’s waist and guides them back toward the picnic table. Her fingers graze the soft curve of Dani’s waist, a quiet gesture of possession, of love, of a future they haven’t yet fully realized but are starting to piece together.
They collect their milkshakes, Paige grabbing both cups, offering Dani her Oreo one, who takes it with a grateful, quiet smile, and they walk side by side, their shoulders brushing with every step. They don’t say much, the silence between them comfortable, an unspoken understanding that fills the space where words aren’t needed. There’s no pressure, no rush, just the steady rhythm of their footsteps as they head back.
Side by side, they walk back to Paige’s house, their bodies pressed close enough that the warmth between them is constant, never faltering. Neither of them speaks much, but the air between them feels thick with the weight of it all—the unspoken words, the shared memories, the connection that neither of them can deny anymore. They walk in sync, like they’ve always been meant to, and Paige finds that she doesn’t need words to fill the space.
The familiar sights of their neighborhood pass by, the houses and the trees, the sound of their feet on the pavement, the occasional rustle of wind through the leaves. They pass Dani’s dad’s house, and neither of them looks at it. Paige’s mind briefly flickers to that house, to the past, to the pain that had lingered there for so long, but it’s all behind them now. That part of their lives is a closed door, and neither of them needs to open it again.
They reach the front door of Paige’s house, and Paige can’t help but glance at Dani as she opens it. The door opens with a soft creak, and for a brief moment, Paige holds the door open with one hand while she rests her forehead against Dani’s. It’s a simple thing, but there’s something about it, something about the way Dani’s body fits against hers, something about the softness of her skin under Paige’s touch that makes it all feel like it’s meant to be.
And in that moment, Paige knows, without a doubt, that everything before this was just the beginning. Because this—this is their forever.
Then, Lauren calls for them both from inside, telling their names. Dani grins up at Paige, murmuring, “C’mon,” pulling her inside.
And as they step inside the house, with their hands still intertwined, the door closes softly behind them, sealing shut their childhoods, their high school days, and all the ups and downs that surrounded them. The future’s wide open, and Paige and Dani are ready to take that step into it.
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cioud-berries · 2 days ago
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Mutual Benefit || Chapter 4
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i know i said i wouldnt post for a while and then immediatly posted the next day but i just couldn't help myself. I did stya up till 6am working on this tho LMAO. 
as i mentioned last chapter If wanna know where I am at with the chapters, or even just my life, or just wanna talk, you should join my discord!! It'd be great to see you there! (Link in quotev and wattpad bio) or here: discord.gg/SPNmyV8qJR
Summery:
Posts season 2: Spoiler warning!! Being forced into an arranged marriage, [Name] tried her hardest with her unreceptive husband Salo. After his death, she was forced to replace his council position, trying to figure out who she was as a person. Sevika never expected to get anywhere close to the council, let alone join them. As the stigma around people from Zaun still stood, she struggled to gain the respect from her new fellow councillors. With so many differences how could the two really help one another?
Chapter Warnings:
Season 2 Spoilers
Word count: 2,005
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        Anyone who saw [Name] would assume she was on her afternoon jog with the way she was running through the streets of Piltover. With a regular shirt and pants on she was making her way to her office as quickly as possible. 
        Earlier that day, she received a letter from Sevika that she is willing to hear [Name] out on her plans. She immediately threw Sasha at her nanny and bolted out the door. Sevika wouldn’t arrive for another hour or so, but she now needed to prepare a presentation to try to convince Sevika to fully commit to helping her. 
        When she arrived at her late husband’s office, that had now been given to her, she pulled out the box with all of her files in it, laying them out on the floor in a specific order. Looking them over, she began to write the story in her head that she planned to tell Sevika.
        [Name] was so deeply in thought that she barely heard the loud knock on the door. Carefully jumping over the papers she opened the door to see Sevika waiting for her. “Hi.” She happily exhaled. “I am so glad that you agreed to meet with me.” [Name] turned around, leading Sevika into the room.
        “What’s all of this?” She asked judgmentally while looking down at the mess of papers.
        “Uh.” [Name] hesitated. “My plans.”
        Sevika gave [Name] a sour look while sitting down on the couch that these ‘plans’ were laid out in front of. She looked back up at [Name] waiting for her to continue. “Well, go on.” She leaned back in the chair as [Name] beamed back at her. 
        Bending over, [Name] picked up the first few papers handing them to Sevika. She began to explain the beginning of her plans, the safe deconstruction of the Hex Gate. Sevika handed the papers back after briefly looking over them. 
        [Name] took the papers, grabbing some more. Yet again, Sevika’s eyes were drawn to the behind that was being so beautifully shoved in her face. The second [Name] straightened up and turned back around to Sevika, she could tell. How could she not with the way Sevika’s lips upturned into a sly smile with her eyebrows raised, almost as if she was beckoning [Name] forward.
        Without a beat, [Name] scolded her. “Come on, keep up. If you wanted to just sit there and look at my ass all day, you should’ve just asked for that instead.” She shoved the papers into Sevika’s hands, continuing on with her explanations.
        Sevika couldn’t lie that the way [Name] yelled at her, did make her pay attention more. But maybe it was because she was paying attention to more than just her ass. 
        [Name] went on to explain every single material that would be extracted, and exactly how much of each material would be gained. It was very clear that she did a lot of research on everything, with the help of Caitlyn Kiramman’s database of course.
        Then began the explanation of what exactly she wanted to do with so much metal and machinery. “Of course I want to plug up that airway first.” She started “The one Jinx exploded.” [Name] added for clarification.
        “Jinx didn’t blow that thing up.” Sevika wanted to defend Jinx’s name now that she was dead. “I did.”
        [Name] was shocked at this revelation, not knowing how to respond other than. “Why would you do that?”
        “That Kiramman girl was going to shoot at Jinx with a child in the way.” Sevika explained in a harsh tone.
        [Name] was shocked. Having a child of her own, it hit her closer to home. She didn’t want to believe Sevika’s words but there was no reason to not believe her. Caitlyn was slowly becoming a good friend, but she did hear rumors about what she was like while [Name] was away.
        “Um… Well…” She looks down at her papers, trying to collect her thoughts again. “It still needs to be sealed up quickly. Which is why I would want these plans to be in effect immediately.” She got back on track gaining momentum. “Aside from that I was thinking of using some to reinforce the mines first. This would allow workers to be safer and travel quicker in the mines. Going back to the game, this also would benefit Piltover with the productivity increase of coal and gems. Which in turn, will make the other council members want to vote for it. I then wanted to put a majority of it into housing, once the mines were revamped...”
        Sevika shook her head in disagreement, throwing her papers back into the floor. “Housing needs to come first. If there are less deaths happening in the mines, then there would be more people out on the streets. Which would cause more dead people laying out beside buildings and violence.”
        [Name] thought for a moment, trying to reconfigure her plan. “How to make it sound like this would benefit the council.” She mumbled to herself while her eyes were locked to the papers below her feet.
        Sevika caught it though, throwing out an idea. “If there are more homes, then there will be more people able to work in the mines. Then if the mines are improved, less people would be dyin overall and they would be gettin more money that way.”
        [Name] looked up at Sevika with a smirk on her face “That could work.” She walked over to her desk, grabbing a notepad and pen. “I would just need to get the annual death toll caused by both homelessness and from mine collapses, to really drive the point.”
        “I can tell you now that those numbers you’re gettin are nowhere close to the reality of it.” Sevika watched [Name] from the couch.
        “I don’t doubt it.” [Name] huffed. “About what percentage of people do you think gets reported? So I know how much I should account for.”
        Sevika thought for a moment, thinking about all of the people she has had to bury in her life. “I would say about half.”
        “Half?” [Name] asked out of shock. “We need to create a better system of keeping track of that.” Sevika silently agreed. [Name] walked over with her pen and paper, ready to jot down any more notes that Sevika had.
        Thinking back to how everyone does things with the benefit of themselves in mind, Sevika finally began to question [Name]’s intentions, needing to know what the catch was. “Why are you doing all of this?” Sevika asked plainly.
        [Name] looked a bit confused at her question, not knowing why Sevika was worrying about her intentions. “To help improve the life of people in Zaun?” She said in a questioning tone, like she's asking if that is the wrong answer.
        “You told me that everyone does things to benefit themselves.” Sevika explained. “So how does all of this benefit you?”
        [Name] thought for a moment. While she originally did this with good intentions, she knew Sevika was right and that she did benefit in some way. “I guess I’m doing it because I understand how it feels to be forgotten about by your government. And I don’t want people feeling like that.” 
        Sevika was shocked, and almost disgusted. “You’re a princess, how could you ever begin to understand how we feel?” 
        “I wasn’t always a princess.” [Name] snapped back, not liking Sevika’s tone. “I will say that my country's issues weren’t as bad as Piltover’s and Zaun’s, but it was still enough for us to revolt and overthrow the government.”
        Sevika went quiet, trying to connect the dots of her story. But she still didn’t have enough information to fill in the whole picture.
        [Name] too was thinking, she could tell that there was another reason, and she was trying to figure it out. “I am also doing this because of my late husband.” She tested those words out to see how they felt.
        “Your dead husband?” Sevika questioned with a raise of her eyebrow.
        “Yes, my dead husband.” [Name] confirmed sorting through the reasoning. “He hated Zaun, and did everything in his power to knock you all down and make sure you never got up again. I never agreed with it so I am now trying to reverse his damage.”
        “So you’re doing all of this,” She motioned to all of the papers on the floor, “to make yourself feel better.”
        “In a way, yeah.” [Name] didn’t like the way Sevika worded it, but knew that she was right. Sevika looked at her in a way that screams ‘Are you serious?’ She could only defend herself. “What? Would you rather have me raise taxes in honor of him?”
        “No.” Sevika huffed out. It did make her feel better that [Name] was getting an emotional gain and it was not some sort of darker meaning behind her kindness.
        “That’s what I thought. So as I was saying…” She again continued her explanation. Sevika now was voicing her opinions more, correcting her on things that she had gotten wrong. As more time went on, the hungrier [Name] got. “I think this is a good spot to stop and have a lunch break.” 
        Before Sevika could even begin to think of protesting, [Name] was out the door, going to have someone get them food. On her return, things were silent, [Name] didn’t want to continue talking about the plans and Sevika didn’t care to talk either. 
        “Sasha, my daughter, is quite infatuated with you.” [Name] said into the quiet air, trying to start a conversation. Sevika merely raised an eyebrow at her. “She really likes your arm replacement. She keeps begging me to get her one just like yours.” [Name] chuckled at the absurdity that was her daughter.
        “I don’t think she wants to go through the process of losing an arm,” Sevika said.
        [Name] walked over to the couch, sitting down beside Sevika, on the side with her mechanical arm. Sevika still had her cloak on to hide it, but it had slipped off, revealing some of the metal.
        “I don’t think she understands that you lost your arm.” [Name] looked back up at Sevika. “She thinks that you just replaced your arm with this one because it makes you look cooler.”
        Sevika snickered at the ridiculousness of the comment. Things went quieter again, this time it was heavier, but not in a bad way. Their eyes were locked for a few seconds, but it felt like minutes to [Name].
        Looking back down at the arm, her fingers inched closer to it, wanting to touch it, wanting to touch her. “If you don’t mind me asking; How did you lose your arm?” 
        Sevika noticed her wandering fingers and moved her arm closer to her, not wanting it to be touched. “It got blown off.”
        [Name] realized she had been caught, pulling her hands back to herself. “I’m sorry.” She spoke sincerely.
        “This arm has helped me in many ways.” Sevika added, looking down at it, pushing aside the apology.
        Things yet again fell quiet between the two. They both stared at each other, almost like a staring contest, each of them wanted to see who would look away first. Sevika’s eyes traveled down, scanning over her body. She gave the same smirk she always did after appreciating good body. 
        [Name] was flustered, but didn’t want to show it. Pulling away first, she stood up, walking over the notes. “We should… uhm… continue with this until the food gets here.” 
        “If that is what you want.” Sevika replied in a cunning tone, leaning back into the couch and letting her legs spread wider. [Name] continued on. Sevika was still adding on, but her tone was different. 
        With the way she was speaking and presenting herself to [Name], it was making it very hard for her to focus on the task at hand. Which is exactly what Sevika wanted. [Name] could only hope for the food to come faster to break up the tension.
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Overall Masterlist
Discord link
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nudystar · 1 year ago
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I fear I might be getting bored of romiantic (rant in tags !)
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tethrras · 25 days ago
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deciding to headcanon that the lighthouse makes people feel Calm and Docile and Relaxed to excuse the fact that more of the companions aren't as mad as lucanis that ANY of this is happening
#I CAN FEEL THE HATERISM IN MY BONES STARTING TO STIR LIKE LYRIUM#for the record. i think the game is fun. and i think it's the most gorgeous game ever made#bar none.#but like................................................................... . . .... ....#ALMOST ALL OF THE WARDENS ARE DEAD. ALMOST ALL OF THEM.#AND ALSO DID IT EVEN MATTER BECAUSE THE BLIGHT WAS JUST#THE GODS FUCKING AROUND AGAIN#i'll be real the least interesting thing abt dragon age has always been the magic to me#i like MAGES. but i think the sociopolitical landscape of thedas + the worldbuilding outside of magic#is the most interesting part for me#i think my biggest problem is that it feels like a dragon age game writing wise#like w companions and quests and banter#but it doesn't feel like the dragon age world#idk. i'm having fun but yeah i think a lot of the general criticisms are weighing on me which#i did not think would happen (tho i've also been in a months long depressive spiral and genuinely have not#enjoyed basically anything and nothing feels real and everything feels like a bad dream so like whatever)#the biggest thing abt dragon age for me has always been like#it has been such a creative inspiration for me in so many avenues and in so many different eras of my life#i've been writing DA fic since i was 17. i started getting mutuals around 18.#that's 6 years!!!!! i've been writing fic!!!#i play like 3 hours of origins or inquisition and wanna go write a bunch of fics#but all my fic ideas so far are about like. Well what if the game never happened and my OCs#met their ROs somewhere else in some way else#which to me ISN'T a good sign.#part of da's staying power to me is how much it inspires me. i don't feel inspired right now#i'm struggling to keep up in some ways with veilguard and also feel like it's struggling to catch up#to itself and the weight of it's own choices#anyway. starting to feel disappointed but like i said months long depression#so i'm repressing it like crazy and might never actually feel or breach that emotion#in any depth. but whatever.
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wickjump · 1 month ago
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i kinda want to live again
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james-spooky · 2 months ago
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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puppyeared · 3 months ago
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My god I need to finish this website so I can write diary entries and not be this obvious abt it
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tvrningout · 10 months ago
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what if… i said i might wanna try writing on discord… how would we feel
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dawntheduckrb · 1 year ago
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I'll stop posting wips eventually but it's been five days since I've said anything and I don't want anyone to think I'm dead/dying/stuck in a ditch and withering away, so here's 10% of the reason I disappeared (the duck is stuck in rendering hell) (and my little baby laptop is screaming at me every time I open up this file)
I might still be mostly lurking for a little bit so please be patient with me in the meantime 🙏🙏
#seriously though I'm sorry for just up and disappearing like that#wanna talk to people and interact with them so bad lately but I just can't bring myself to do it#so the best i can manage is blabbing in the tags like always#i don't know wtf is going on but over the past few days I've just felt like i don't deserve to talk to anyone#tried to reblog posts from mutuals several times but something in my head keeps saying;#'yeah they don't actually care for your input at all and you're being a bother for even trying etc etc'#and i know deep down that's probably not true (i hope) but i can't reason it away you know#and i know the best solution to this is to just talk to someone#let it be known that i *did* make an attempt to#i tried texting someone (and succeeded) but i couldn't keep doing it and I'm back at square one (and now feel worse lmao)#i'm not really putting this here for anybody to see it as much as i am for myself#but i know that (hypothetically) this could be seen by a real human so it still kinda feels like I'm reaching out in a way which feels nice#makes me feel less like I'm shriveling up in my own self imposed solitude#so uh hello person who might be reading the tags (there's six of you guys here now which is crazy cause i post nothing but junk here lol)#((but thanks anyway for following and even more thanks for reading this if you did))#i'll make my way around all the posts i missed soon enough don't worry#i'm sorry i'm really not meaning to ignore anybody#i have drafted quite a few posts from moots that i couldn't finish leaving comments on but i have seen them#everyone here is super cool and talented as always <3 whether that be through art or writing or just finding neat posts to share#this wall of text is long enough and i'm very eeby so thank you again for reading this#tldr; not dead and i'll be okay eventually :)#not rb#hey look i didn't post a picture of my dog this time (a crime)#i'll make sure to share one the next time i get a good one
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ottosbigtop · 11 months ago
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don’t know how 2 say “if I unfollow u as a mutual I promise it’s nothing personal” without just saying it but like. If u primarily rb unrelated stuff frum art I might unfollow from time 2 time (esp if it’s a lot of discourse related stuff) bc I’m becoming increasingly aware of how bad I am at monitoring and filtering my own racing thoughts when it comes to viewing an excessive amount of discourse posts. I will still check in and rb and probably even refollow once I get my brain set back on track but yah. If this means anything
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bangcakes · 1 year ago
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#personal#whats literally so funny was that as soon as i saw him walk in the room last year i knew he was gonna be trouble for me#however i never knew itd be this kind n this deep JDJDNDJJDNDJDNDNDN#we are like........ way closer than i ever anticipated. im terrified that we wont have anything to talk about once school ends#i wanna say so much to him but i... theres so much school stress i just.... i dont wanna add anything extra on top for myself or for him...#hhhhhh god lmao. this time last year i hadnt even spoken to him n now im like..... in this Thing that is maybe mutual but maybe isnt#god....... this shit is so hard NFJFJJFJFJFJF#i only see him like 3 more times in the near future......#then i gotta wait a bit.... but i dont want to 😭😭😭#i wanna see him every week.... at least... but its probably gonna be on a month basis even IF THAT....#god what if it all fizzles out............#hhhhhhhhhh#im gonna try to keep it going. im just..... idk. im scared#i hope he tries to keep it going too.....#its just hard.... when its 2 ppl that like.... only talk when they need to...... try to keep in touch JFJDJDJDJDKKDKDKDK#the most we go now is a full day without talking...... like either i'll message or he will#usually its me.... but... im more talkative i guess ... IDK#all ik is that i Know hes not talking to anyone else at school LMAO#one of my friends was like.... ya dont bother putting him in a group chat .. he never answere#while im over here like.... LOL he messages me back always within minutes/seconds#and if hes offline... as soon as hes back online.#JXJXKKXKXKXKZ GOD.#n e way. see him today............ looking forward to it but also nervous 😳#i'll be fine once i see him tho... its just the Anticipation#feel really comfortable around him LOL. never thought id say that#anyway
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ichigosoju · 6 months ago
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koko2unite · 1 year ago
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i keep unintentionally doing things that ended up upsetting me lol why am i like this
#i was trying to see if i can fix my twitter account because im tired of being shadowbanned#(u know what at this point its probably not shadowban im probably just being ignored or furries there hate me for something i didnt know)#anyway theres option to filter out notifications so you can only get ones from mutuals#so i enabled the filter#and then my notification is empty outside of from twitter system like login and anniversary#my mutuals havent interacted for months#that actually made me upset so much i wanna just softblock all of them#i post everyday#no way they didnt see even a single one of my tweets#but softblocking people too many times will cause me get a warning from twitter because they think im follow baiting or some shit#idk twitter is weird but theyve done that to me on my AD#it makes me so angry like#i keep replying liking retweeting interacting with their tweets but none of them did the same thing back#i hate them i hate them so muchhh#they also not active on the servers or discord too but i thought they were just inactive but no they probably all already left#or mute me there or whatever the equivalent shit on discord#im so mad i hate it i hate it i hate ittttt#im probably the one at fault#they hate me because its me#they would love anything i do if it were a different person#i hate this#i feel like i wanna stop#i dont want this#i paint and post it and have people see it for fun serotonin time. if nobody wants to see it and preventing others to see it then#whats the point
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deus-ex-mona · 2 years ago
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open invitation to everyone who hates reading my tls and stuff~
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yeleltaan · 2 years ago
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//As is usually the case around this time of the year, I’m terribly busy with studies and it’s been hard for me to do things on the blog in the little spare time I have, I can’t focus very well.
It will pass soon, and hopefully after that I can resume the work of giving this blog a little more life. The itch to write is still there and I can’t wait to be free to scratch it.
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vulpinesaint · 2 years ago
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every day i want to make a little instagram poetry account but there is so much i would have to do with that. for instance rebrand everything. dfjghs
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