#it’s just hard when so much is changing at the same time and it definitely doesn’t feel

[raggedy-anne4013]

oof. This post has been in my drafts for months. I remeber feeling when I initially wrote this that it would get too much hate. However, I feel so strongly about this and so I'm going to post it here anyway. Just beware if you're steering clear of politics and anything community services related.

I hear you live in Germany! In Australia, it's a little different. Resi is a place where they put the foster kids that no one wants. Often it's filled with teenagers who've bounced from home to home in their childhood. Parents can't put their kids in resi (they would need to put their kids in foster care for them to possibly end up in resi). Saying that, in Australia practically all the kids in resi are disabled in some way.

As it is such a toxic environment, there is huge pressure on social workers and foster carers to take kids so they don't end up with the 'failures' in resi. Thus, many carers take on kids with extreme disabilities that they can't handle to try and 'save' the kids from resi. They're definitely saving the kids some level of pain (I know numerous people who have died in residential care) but it's horrible that these kids aren't given the care they need.

Resi does nothing for our society except cause an extra level of pain for kids who have already been rejected too many times. Our resi is a bit like you described in that most people I know who are too disabled or too mentally unstable or too much of a danger to themselves or others either end up in prison, a psych ward or dead. The kids who are able to 'graduate' are thrown out into society with no tools to properly help them survive and so even if they survive resi, the same thing happens to these people, just when they're a bit older.

And this is from a system in which you only go to resi if you are too disabled or too mentally unstable or too much of a danger.

It's a hard pill to swallow but the reality is that our government doesn't put enough money into this system to accommodate the people who need to be in it. The people who want to change things are too overworked and underpaid to even afford to live for themselves, let alone help the people who need it. The people who are suffering the impacts of this stupid, stupid system are unable to advocate for themselves.

I was talking to my parents a while ago about this (they are foster carers as well) and how it just makes me want to scream because I know this threat of resi that these social workers are telling me about is true. If you say 'no', you are condemning this child to a lifetime of pain or death. It seems that every system in this stupid world which is meant to help people, falls so short. The world sucks. People sucks. The institutions we make to stop things from sucking so much suck the most.

Most people really don't seem to know what this mysterious "residential care" means when it comes to disabilities.

"This person is severely disabled, they have to live in residential care."

Do you know what happens when a severely disabled person with high support needs who isn't aware of dangers and needs constant supervision applies for residential care?

They get turned down or kicked out a couple of days later.

This happens regularly, btw. Kids grow up and parents think "Oh, residential care sounds good", and then suddenly every institution, etc. goes "Sorry, we don't specialise in that, sorry, your child is too aggressive, sorry, your child can't stick to our sleep schedule, sorry, your child is too noise sensitive, sorry, your child HAS to participate in our weekly activities even though their disability makes it impossible for them to do so, sorry..."

People who can live in residential care aren't your "the worst of the worst" example. There is such a thing as "too disabled for residential care" and it's more common than you'd think! ☝🏼

"But what happens when someone is too disabled for residential care and their family can't take care of them? Surely everyone eventually ends up somewhere!"

They get passed around from institution to institution, but everyone eventually goes "Sorry, we can't keep them here", and it won't stop. Until, maybe, one day they're lucky and a fixed team of carers "adopts" them and tries to create some kind of assisted living from scratch.

(Edit: Some people in the notes mention that many end up in prison or psych wards. That's included in what I mean with "institution" ☝🏼. But keep in mind that most severely disabled people with very high support needs simply die when their needs aren't met, so they either are passed around from institution to institution until someone builds something from scratch... or they simply die.)

Nobody talks about it, which is why it's always a big shock for parents who found a really good residential care place for their soon-to-be adult child and their child looks forward to moving out, and suddenly this wonderful residential care company turns their child down because it's too disabled. And then the next one. And the next.

So no, residential care isn't for "those with the most profound disabilities" - people with the most profound disabilities can't be in residential care at all.

[intheemptymirror]

drunk dazed !

drunk-roommate!sunghoon x roommate!reader

summary: you never would’ve expected sunghoon— resident ice prince— to be the clingy type of drunk

genre: fluff

warnings: mentions of drinking, sunghoon is drunk (duh), sunghoon and reader aren’t dating but they definitely have a crush/lil somethin goin on, you and sunghoon are roommates, you take sunghoons clothes off but it’s in a non sexual manner, he asks you to help him change, ooc sunghoon

a/n: i would consider myself an engene but i think they’re one of the groups i’m more of a casual fan about if that makes any sense? like i like their music and i consume their content and i have a bias and everything but they’re not one of my MAIN-main groups yknow? but i still love them and wanted to write something for them and i got this idea about how cute it would be if sunghoon was like clingy n stuff so here we are. tbh i don’t love this fic but i just wanted it done and i thought that even if i don’t like it maybe someone out there will. i have a jay fic idea in the works too so if you like enhypen that’ll be out eventually too ;)

if somebody bet you twenty bucks that sunghoon was the clingy type drunk, you would’ve paid them right then and there.

but here you were.

for the past few years you guys had been friends, you don’t think you could remember a time you ever saw him drunk. a little tipsy, sure, but never drunk. and then after you became roommates— which meant spending even more time around each other than before— you still hadn’t seen him get to that state. you had always just assumed he either had a scary high tolerance to alcohol or just didn’t like alcohol all that much.

sunghoon had gone out with the rest of the enhypen boys for a couple of drinks that night, which wasn’t anything unusual or new. what was unusual and new was the extent to which sunghoon drank himself. when he walked out the door three hours ago you weren’t expecting to get a phone call from jay telling you to come pick up your very drunk, very clingy best friend. having to carry a practically incapacitated grown man down the streets of seoul for fifteen minutes and then up a flight of stairs wasn’t a scenario you thought about very often but it was as hard as you would’ve originally imagined.

“y/nnie!” sunghoon whined out into your ear, his weight heavy against your back. a feeling that you would normally find comfort in was now a bit of an inconvenience. you huff out a bit of air and incoherently grumble a bit in what most would consider barely a response, but sunghoon didn’t seem to pay much mind as he pressed himself impossibly further into you. it felt like his whole goal was to make this as difficult as possible, as if gravity was dragging his body down to the ground and wanted to take you with him. you trip over your feet but manage to stay somewhat upright, which only makes sunghoon giggle.

you finally managed to stumble your way down the hall to your apartment door, stopping to catch your breath for a moment. as you stood still and panted with your eyes mindlessly locked onto the small apartment numbers on the door, sunghoon took the opportunity to nudge his nose into your cheek, his dark hair tickling the soft skin of your face. the sensation suddenly snapped you out of whatever trance you were in, making your body jolt slightly before you started the process of trying to open the door. you’re not sure why you were so eager to get sunghoon physically away from you while at the same time wanting him to stay attached to you forever. maybe your fast beating heart was from the physical exertion sunghoon put you through; maybe it was from the emotional. you didn’t have time to dwell on it now.

you grunted as you tried to shift sunghoon’s weight on your back so you could reach the keys sitting in your back pocket. he must’ve thought you were trying to get him off when you started to move because he let out a whine before gripping onto the front of your shirt in his large hands and tightening his arms around your neck to keep himself on you, which only threw your balance off and made you stumble back. you caught yourself before letting out an exasperated groan. “you’re making this really difficult, yknow.” sunghoon simply giggled in response and poked your cheek with his pointer finger, moving his head to press his face flat into the side of yours.

“you’re making this really difficult,” he slurs out his words. you rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t help the small smile and soft laugh that escaped your lips.

“that makes no sense,” you say more to yourself than to him as you finally manage to slide your hand into your back pocket to fish out the apartment keys before unlocking the door and stumbling into the entry way, the sound of your bodies knocking into the wall disturbing the serenity of yours and sunghoon’s (and probably your neighbors) apartment. you somehow managed to slip your shoes off without falling to the wood floor before hauling sunghoon off to his room.

you turn your back to the mattress and completely let go of his weight, letting him flop onto the bed unceremoniously. he let out a grunt as his back hit the sheets, his arm pathetically coming up to try and reach for you once more. you huffed and turned to watch over him for a moment with your hands on your hips while you caught your breath. you watched him paw at the air in search for you before you grasped onto his hand to gently sit him up. he went silent as he tiredly blinked up at you, his pretty, brown eyes practically staring you down.

his intense gaze started to make you nervous, reminding you of a cat watching its owner. his eyes never wavered as he watched you walk over to his closet and rummage around it for a moment before pulling out a plain white t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants before dropping it onto the bed next to him. “get changed, i’ll leave the room.” as you start to walk away, sunghoon gently grasped your wrist in his hand, stopping you in your tracks. your eyes widen and lips part in surprise as you look between his half-lidded eyes, then to where his hand is making contact with your skin, then back again.

“help me,” he mumbles out. you open your mouth to deny his request, but upon seeing how he slightly sways side to side from intoxication and exhaustion you decide it would just be easier (and probably safer) to help him. “please.”

you study his face for any sign of hesitation before you slowly nod. “okay.” you step closer, standing between his legs as he stares up at you. your heart rate spikes at the sight of his flushed face and cute moles and messy hair and gorgeous eyes with their attention completely on you. you blink a few times to snap yourself out of the trance he’s put you in before your shaky hands hesitantly reach for the hem of the shirt he has on.

“lift your arms up.” you direct him once you’ve taken the fabric in your grasp to which he complies immediately, limply throwing his arms up into the air. you tug the shirt up— it gets stuck to which he thrashes around a bit to get it undone— and over his head before tossing it into the laundry basket sat in the corner of his room. you try not to stare too hard at the expanse of bare skin suddenly available to you, averting your eyes and swallowing harshly to calm yourself down. you choose not to say anything else before reaching for the black jeans he has on, hooking your fingers through the belt loops to tug him to a standing position. he stumbles slightly before balancing out and giggling, standing like a mannequin waiting to be dressed. which in a way, he kind of was.

you unhook his belt and tug his pants off gently before quickly grabbing the pair of sweats and crouching down to help him step into each leg of the pants. you’re glad you were too focused on getting him into them without him falling to focus on the fact that he had been practically naked in front of you for a few moments. you stand back up and tell him to lift up his arms once more, slipping the shirt on— without getting it stuck this time— and watching the moles that dotted his body disappear underneath the cloak of white fabric. throughout this whole process, his eyes hadn’t left your figure even once.

finally having him dressed in clean clothes, you usher him to get into bed, pulling back the covers and gently nudging him onto the mattress. he follows your direction with little resistance, little hums escaping his mouth here and there as he watched you pull up the soft covers and tuck him in gently. “comfortable?” he does a close eyed nod and smiles softly in response. you smile and nod in return. “good,” you whisper.

“i’m gonna go get you some water,” you brush his hair off of his forehead and make barely any moves to leave the room, but are stopped by him sitting upright so fast it was as if he was coming back from the dead and his hands shooting out to grab your arm.

“no!” sunghoon lets out a whine of protest, his eyebrows furrowed and eyes starting to gloss over with tears, his bottom lip jutted out in a pout as it starts to tremble. you’re completely caught off guard by his reaction, even more so when he starts to tug you back towards him until your knees are knocking against the bed. “don’t go, don’t leave me,”

you think you can hear your heart breaking at the sight, the feeling of it clenching uncomfortably in your chest overwhelming. you smile softly at him and reach out your free hand to pet his head in an attempt to soothe him, his lashes fluttering and head leaning into your palm at the sensation. “i’m just gonna go get you some water. you won’t even notice that i’m gone.”

“i always notice when you’re gone.” sunghoon’s voice rings out so clear and suddenly he looks the most sober he’s been the entire night. his vulnerability; it catches you off guard, but you can’t help but like the way it feels coming from him. it’s silent for a few moments more as you let the words he’s said sink into your brain. “just stay with me,” he whispers, as if afraid that if he speaks too loud, the fragile, glass-like state of whatever it is you two are in will shatter under his words.

you blink at him a few times before nodding softly. “okay,” you whisper back. sunghoon pulls back the covers before he guides you onto the open space he’s left you, laying down and tugging the blanket over your shoulders. after he deems you properly tucked in, he rests his cheek on his hands and stares. you both study each other in the moonlit room, your features somehow more ethereal in the soft glow. “you should go to sleep. you don’t want a hangover in the morning,” you whisper.

“i will in a minute,” he whispers back. you can see the cogs turning in his head, as if he was debating both for and against himself in his mind. you realize what that look was for though when the bed dips slightly under his weight as he shuffles closer to you, his arm coming up to rest heavy on your waist. “just let me do this,” he slides his other arm under your head before pulling you until you were pressed against his body. he lets out a sigh into the quiet night as his body finally seems to fully relax, the feeling of you against him helping his hyped up state from the clubbing and alcohol dissipate. he tucks your head underneath his chin, his hand mindlessly rubbing back and forth on your back, lulling you into a sleepy state as well.

you press yourself closer to him and bring your arms to wrap around his torso to hold him in return as you let your eyes flutter shut. “goodnight, sunghoon.”

“goodnight, y/n.” he replies, his breathing evening out as he drifts off to sleep. you smile to yourself before you drift off shortly after, meeting him once more in your dreams.

[archiveofvirtue]

lovely kook!reader tries her hardest to avoid her ex bf!rafe, yet they unintentionally meet at the country club after her sudden disappearance from kildare island about a year ago

content / ex bf!rafe x fem!reader, lowkey toxic, rafe confronting reader, public arguing, reader lowkey hates kooks, topper and kelce being nosy, 2.1k words

notes / this is the start of my lovely kook!reader x rafe cameron (x jj maybank) trope, inspired by my own fanfic that I published on wattpad. prob not gonna line up with everything in the fic and might differ when it comes to the relationships or dynamics. storyline is roughly set around s1 but I pictured s2/s3 rafe while writing, feel free to imagine him however u want tho! enjoy <3

It had been one long, strange year since you had set foot on Kildare Island. The familiar winding roads, the ocean breeze rolling off the coast—everything seemed to have stopped, like a postcard frozen in time. But as you watched the streets of Figure Eight again, you knew that things were different now, at least for you.

There was a time when you’d loved this place, every privileged corner of it, but that had all died the day you’d left, slipping away in the dead of night without a word to anyone—not even Rafe.

Rafe. You barely let yourself think of him, but back at home, it was hard not to. He haunted every space you’d once felt safe in, like a ghost you couldn’t shake, a wound that kept opening just when it seemed to be healing.

You knew you’d see him eventually. But you definitely had no intention of rushing it.

Your first stop was Sarah Cameron though. The Sarah you used to be best friends with. You didn’t even make it up the driveway of your house before Sarah ran toward you, wide-eyed and disbelieving. There was a sense of relief while you two were hugging, tears spilling down both your faces as though the past year had melted away. But there was a hurt, too, a simmering anger in Sarah’s eyes when she pulled back.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Sarah sniffled, her voice both angry and broken. “Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

You looked away, throat tightening as guilt clawed at you. “I couldn’t. There was too much… too much happening, Sarah. I didn’t want anyone else to get dragged into it.”

“And you think you didn’t hurt anyone by just leaving?” Sarah’s voice was calm, yet the pain in her eyes was obvious. “You hurt me, and Rafe—”

“Don’t,” you cut her off, the hurt in your own voice surprising you both. “Please.”

For now you didn’t want to think of him, you just wanted to do right by Sarah.

Soon you two sat on the porch together, and as the sun dipped low on the horizon, you opened up as much as you could, while Sarah led you into the crazy things that had happened in her family, yet there were some things she couldn’t say—not even to you.

But it was obvious that things were different in Sarah’s life now. Sure enough you weren’t the only one who had changed.

The next day you found yourself with your arms crossed sat in the back seat, as your parents drove you toward the country club. You stared out the window, jaw clenched, as you passed the manicured lawns and sprawling mansions of Figure Eight. You’d spent your whole life around the “kooks,” but now, after a year away, their pristine facades and carefully maintained smiles felt even more unbearable. You could already hear the empty chatter, the insincere “how have you beens” that would spill from every corner of the club.

Your parents, seated in the front, acted as if nothing had changed. As if you’d never vanished in the first place. Your mother had been chatting away, going on about the latest family news, updates from the other families you knew, parties you’d missed. All with that same flawless smile, the one you had once tried so hard to mimic, until you realized it was just another mask.

“Won’t it be nice to be back?” Your mom asked brightly, as if you had simply been on a long vacation.

You forced a tight smile, refusing to answer. You didn’t want to be “back.” You didn’t want to slide into this carefully molded life again, pretending to care about who had bought the newest yacht or who was dating whom. It was all so hollow, so far from the girl you’d become in your time away.

The club came into view, its grand facade stretching out against the sky, every line designed to impress. As you all pulled up, you spotted the familiar faces you’d once known so well—polished, proud, and utterly convinced of their own superiority. You felt a flicker of resentment twist in your chest. These people, so arrogant in their security, with their money and their reputations, hadn’t changed a bit. You doubted they’d even care to ask where you’d been or why you’d left. To them, you’d simply slipped right back into place, as if you were another part of the club’s decor.

You gritted your teeth as your father gave you a proud smile, as though parading you around the club was some grand triumph. But you knew the truth. You were just another polished dime in their collection, and that was all they wanted from you. The real y/n, with your broken past and unspoken truths, was something they’d never acknowledge.

You straightened, lifting your chin, your expression cool and defiant. Let them think what they wanted. You were back, but you wouldn’t fall into their world as easily as before. You were different now.

But then you spotted Mark, the clubs bartender and an old friend of yours. You quickly slid onto the barstool in front of him, trying to get away from the piercing eyes of the people. You two exchanged a few words, Mark catching you up on the most recent gossip of Kildare, but in the back of your mind you still had this uneasy feeling, the possibility of meeting Rafe here at this hour wasn’t really high, but it was still there..

You were almost starting to relax when you heard the low murmur of voices just behind you.

“Isn’t that y/n?” The voice was unmistakable—Topper, as easy to recognize as a long-lost memory.

A wave of anxiety hit you, wondering if Rafe was with him, but when you glanced back, your eyes met Kelce’s instead. Relief flooded you, and you gave them both a small wave. Topper and Kelce had been fixtures of your life in Figure Eight once upon a time, more Rafe’s friends than yours, but you’d spent enough time around them that you knew you could at least handle a quick chat.

“Y/N,” Kelce greeted, his surprise melting into a friendly grin. “Back from the dead, huh?”

You smiled a little at that, nodding. “Something like that.”

Topper gave you a once-over, shaking his head as if still trying to process that you were actually standing there. “You know, no one knew what happened to you. You just… left.”

“Yeah, I know.” You forced a tight smile. “I guess I had my reasons.”

You exchanged a few more awkward pleasantries, and you could feel their eyes flickering to each other, as if they wanted to ask more but were holding back. It was strange—normally, they’d be all over you for details, but now, they seemed guarded. And then, as if on cue, they went completely silent.

“What’s wrong?” You asked, glancing between them, suspiciously raising your brows at them.

But you didn’t have to wait long to find out.

“Y/N.” Rafe’s voice sounded from behind you, low and dark, charged with a barely-contained anger that made your stomach twist. You cursed under your breath, clenching your jaw before forcing yourself to turn around.

His gaze met yours, his ocean blue eyes widening with shock that quickly narrowed into something darker, more dangerous. He was silent, just staring at you like he was seeing a ghost. He could see the flash of something in your eyes—surprise, maybe a hint of guilt-but you lifted your chin, meeting him head-on.

“Rafe,” you replied evenly, fighting to keep your voice steady, though you could feel your heart hammering in your chest.

Topper and Kelce glanced between you, clearly uncomfortable, before they mumbled something about getting drinks and made a quick exit, leaving the two of you alone.

You stared at each other for a long moment, he looked good. Really good. His hair was slightly longer, the blonde tips hanging over his forehead.

Staring at him for a little too long you saw a flicker of something in his eyes—regret, maybe?—but you brushed it away. You couldn’t afford to let him get under your skin again. Not after what went down between you.

Rafe stepped closer, his expression twisted with the kind of disappointment that bordered on betrayal. “So, what, you just fucking waltz back into town like nothing happened?“

He stood slowly, stepping closer until you were nearly face to face. You could see the slight lines of fatigue around his eyes, could smell the hint of whiskey on his breath, mixed with his signature cologne. It brought back a flood of memories that you’d fought to bury.

“You just..,” he said, his voice thick with something that might’ve been hurt if you thought he was capable of it. “You like fucking with me, don’t you?”

You lifted your chin, your voice was icy, edged with a bitterness Rafe hadn't heard before. “What did you expect me to do, Rafe? Stick around after everything you pulled? After what you… made me do?”

He frowned, his jaw tightening as he processed your words that felt like a slap to the face. “Made you do? I didn’t make you do anything.” he echoed, his voice rising. “Do you even get how messed up it was, just disappearing like that? Leaving everyone behind, leaving ME behind without a word?”

A humorless laugh slipped from your lips, hard and cutting. Arguing in public like this definitely wasn’t planned, but at this point you didn’t care. “That’s the thing with you, Rafe. You don’t even realize the damage you cause, do you?”

He flinched, just a barely-there twitch of his jaw, but you caught it. For a moment, you almost felt a pang of pity for him. Almost.

“What happened, y/n?” he asked softly, his voice dropping to something almost vulnerable, caught off guard by the force of your resentment. The old you he remembered had looked at him like he hung the moon, but the woman in front of him now—was a stranger.

“Where’d you go? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you?” You repeated, a bitter edge creeping into your voice. “I didn’t owe you any explanations. I did what I had to do to protect myself.”

“From me?” he shot back, his voice cold. “That’s what you think, huh?”

You bit your lip, hating that he could still get to you, hating that despite your anger, some part of you still felt drawn to him. But you refused to give him any satisfaction. “You can’t change the past, Rafe. Just… stay out of my life.”

For a moment, his anger melted away, replaced by a flicker of pain that softened the hard lines of his face. But just as quickly, the hurt turned to anger again, and he took another step toward you, his voice a fierce whisper. “You think you had it all figured out in that pretty little head of yours, huh? You run away and pretend it’s all my fault?”

You held your ground, meeting his gaze with a defiance you didn’t have before. “Maybe it is. Or maybe we were just bad for each other. Either way, I’m not letting you drag me down again. Not this time.”

His face twisted, and you could see the realization dawn on him—you weren’t the girl he’d once had wrapped around his finger, not anymore.

Silence stretched between you as you waited for him to say something, anything, that might shift the weight of what you’d once had. But he just stared at you, and for the first time, he felt a sense of regret, an ache for what he’d lost. He wanted to reach for you, to say something that might bridge the gap between you. But he didn’t.

You released a shaky breath, the adrenaline slowly draining from your body. You’d known coming back to Kildare wouldn’t be easy, but facing Rafe again had torn open wounds you thought you’d closed for good.

One thing was certain, though—you wouldn’t let him break you again. You’d fought too hard to build yourself back up, and you weren’t about to fall apart now.

This time, you weren’t going to run away.

With that, you turned away from him, willing yourself not to look back, even though you felt his eyes on you as you walked toward the door. And before he could say anything to stop you, you were gone..

please let me know what u think 🎀

feel free to request anything for lovely kook!reader x rafe in my inbox !!

tags 🏷️ @gibson-g1rl @rafesangelita @rafescokewhore @rafesweetie @drewspinkbunny @drewsarms @starkeysprincess @starkeydolly @beausling @seasons-of-death @sematarygirls @dolcekissy @moremaybank @httpsdrewstarkey @t6urusmoon

[oimitocat]

STRAY KIDS REACTION….

… to boyfriend!reader being angry and they find it hot (nsfw warning) (hyung line!)

ᡴꪫ CHAN… was extremely similar to you. you’re a lay-backed person, sure sometimes you have episodes where you’re not exactly in the mood to socialize but still, you’re charismatic and let things slide more than he does. you always say it’s because you don’t have energy to entertain that stuff.

yet, seeing you angry — TRULY angry, was something he’d never think he’d get to see. so color him surprised when he hears you shout and pace. the furrow of your brows, your darkened eyes. you looked… good. that tone, he’d never heard it and… it stirred something in the pit of his stomach.

“something wrong?” he asks after a while of eye fucking you.

“company said i need to go on a damn hiatus because some shitheads are spreading a rumor. i could care less, why do they have to make it seem like i’m anxious or whatever?”

chan blinks. “rumor?”

“yeah, super stupid. all i did was call them to say i wasn’t happy with how our last show ended. dude, they literally couldn’t get my headset to work, i had to wing the timing and stuff. their lack of work effort pisses me off.” you groan.

“i know but…” chan pauses when you glare at him. he swallows, “hey, i mean a hiatus is good. you get to rest.”

“i don’t want to rest-“

“i get to have you all to myself without worrying about you missing out on your schedule.”

“if you’re bored, play with me. if you’re angry, take it out on me. you’ll have all the time to do so.” he grins.

you blink, “i- what?” and you can’t even be angry anymore… just frustrated. but chan will also take that.

ᡴꪫ MINHO… had the habit of annoying you and frustrating you sometimes, but never actually making you angry. as idol’s there is a lot of things that can drive you mad. minho for example hates wardrobe malfunctions. fans went crazy over some clips of him angry and upset over a few outfits and so have you.

you never really cared for much, at the end of the day you get a nice paycheck and you’re good to go. still, that doesn’t mean you don’t care about your job. so when he sees that your mic isn’t working and you’re more than upset at the lack of resolve from the sound techs…. he simply cannot look away.

even when you get off the stage, you’re glaring and absolutely not in the mood. everything you do is with anger— ripping off your headset, wiping off your sweat, loosening your outfit. goodness, you look delectable.

“you mad?” he asks teasingly, of course he has to tease.

“i’m not in the mood minho.”

oh! that anger had a pretty tone. “fuck,” he breathes out, pressing himself closer to you, “you gonna take it out on me?” and your eyes bored into him.

he definitely didn’t regret it later.

ᡴꪫ CHANGBIN…. didn’t know you could get angry. he’s only seen you be all soft and gushy. he’s seen you be defensive and stern but never angry. he’s literally making his way to the studio when he hears your voice boom outside the door. worried, he walks in and sees how your standing and yelling at the other producer.

“what’s-?”

“-how long it’s taken us to keep these files and you forget to save them?!”

the producer fidgets, “doesn’t change have a copy? he always has a copy-“

“THAT DOESN’T MEAN THE COPY IS THE SAME AS WHAT WE WERE ADDING TO IT YESTERDAY! you can’t recreate something that was authentic!” you pace, pulling at your hair, “shit man, i worked so hard on that!”

“y/n calm down,” he tries, “what file is it-?”

“changbin, i literally cannot right now.” and you leave.

in the end the file wasn’t deleted, just misplaced in the wrong folder to which it was saved. still, the lack of clarity pissed you off. you didn’t want to work that day and changbin was trying so hard to coax you. yet, seeing you mad was so good for some reason. changbin knew he could make you feel better (totally not feeling you with his hands? and you being angry was making things fun.

ᡴꪫ HYUNJIN…. doesn’t remember a time where you’ve been angry. he’s also never even wanted to. he doesn’t like noise and he remembers how you always say you blow up when angry. hence, when he hears you slam your fist on the desk, he jumps. you’re dramatic like him, so he tried not to think much of it except…

“are you kidding me?” he hear you say with an ominous tone. low and sultry, makes him pause. “so you’re saying that you’re wasting my damn time.”

he peeks over at, seeing you frown and glare at the wall while on the phone. he doesn’t think he’s ever seen that look on you… his mind starts to wander…. would that expression look at him? you’re talking, angry, clearly. and it’s so…

“why are you angry?” he asks when you hang up with an insult and throw your phone of the desk.

“cus apparently i have to do everything myself. why the hell would you-“ and he zones out, watching your angrily rant.

you plop down on the chair, angry. he stands and walks over to you, desire in his gut. “baby don’t be mad…” “well i wouldn’t if they did what i was paying them to do.” “-let’s get your mind off that, yeah?”

and boy did he.

[god-is-zombie]

But like, it's so fucking complicated right? Because, like does the left have a problem with hatred towards men (particularly white men)? Absolutely. It's it a huge problem for everyone? Yes.

But at the same time.... Look. It's perspective right? Because we have all been raised in a society where the default is not, treat men and women as equals. As humans. The default in society is to uplift men over women. We are all, all taught that men are more valuable than women, more important, and more human. It is baked into us.

And like, it's just like being rich, or white, or straight, or any of the other stupid thing that inherantly gives you a leg up in this country. When you've been given power your whole life (through no fault of yours, don't get me wrong) that becomes your standard. When you can't see the ways you're above everyone else, because it's been that way you're whole life, then being above everyone becomes your definition of respect.

Then, conversely, being treated like everyone else will FEEL like hate. Like derision. Like disrespect.

Like, I'm not saying the left doesn't have it's own little hate problem. It does. And that has to change.

But like, there needs to be a perspective shift for you guys too. And that's so hard.

The left is never going to be able to offer men what the right does. Never. The left says, we will lower some pedistals and raise others until we are all equal. And that's a hell of a hard pill to swallow when you're on a higher pedistal. Especially when you're on a higher pedistal and you can only barely afford food, or rent most months. Compare that to the other side screaming "No! You are the specialist boy and you deserve everything!" At the top of their lungs. Compare that to the right's promise that sure there will always be pedistals, but yours will never be on the bottom... Yeah.

And like, I'm on a higher pedistal too. And I can't afford rent or food. And letting go of the few advantages I have by being a high fem white lady who knows how to speak and act in a way that makes rich religious white folk with power think I'm like them, fucking sucks. And hearing how those advantages (that I was simply born into) make me scary and unsafe to people who don't have them, when I still have so little, fucking sucks.

But, I don't have a right to those advantages if others are arbitrarily denied them. And the powerful are fucking terrifying to the powerless. The atrosities that people like you, people like us have committed are, innumerable. And we weren't the ones doing it, and certainly shouldn't be the ones blamed. But the fact that we regularly benifit from it is undeniable. And if I'm going to be given power anyways, then I have a responsibility to listen, at the very least, to the people who weren't.

White people as a whole, and white men in particular need to willing to let a few things suck sometimes. I'm sorry. It sounds so, flippant I know. And, everything in you, everything in me, wants to just yell, "do you have any idea how hard everything already is?" And I KNOW. I know. It isn't fair. And it fucking sucks.

But if we are looking at not fair in this country, we're not the worst off by a mile. By several. And it has sucked for everyone else for so, so much longer.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

[artofmyraid]

(Ha,ha edited the post and tags cause I accidently posted it early and there is no art yet!, it's not finished!)

One of the perks of being an artist, is that when ideas like this Ghost!siffrin au eat at your brain you can draw them!

Oh, and there are two of them now, one possessing their body and one who is just a ghost. (I had too many ideas for both, and i couldn't pick just one to focus on, lol.)

Under this read more, I shall give a huge info-dump on my two new blorbos~

So! Some facts about ghost siffrin who has possessed their dead human body. I dont have names to differentiate ghost siffrin and possessing their body siffrin, so this one will be possessed!siffrin for now, name pending??? this one is definitely aware he isn't human. They don't quite know their a ghost that died and possed their dead body, just that they definitely aren't a human! Their very desperate to pretend they are still human, so their more obsessed with appearing "normal." They get verrrry anxious when people point out their oddities, especially ones they can't fix (like how they just dont age, despite never using body craft, how young they look despite claiming to be an adult, and I dont just mean that their short, (in which their almost bonnies height) but that they look like a child, no older than a teenager. )

Fun fact, possessed!siffrin can barely taste food! Darn those dead taste buds! For that reason they tend to lean very heavily towards foods with a lot of taste, like more spice than the human body should be able to withstand, I think they'd even like certain foods near charred just so they can taste them.

Then the other one, that's ghost siffrin, and he has a VERY different experience than possessed!siffrin , for he doesn't know he is a ghost or inhuman.

So they mostly go through pre-canon normally, where everyone do notice some...oddities. like if you look too close at siffrins skin they seem almost transparent? Or how they almost seem to faintly glow at night... not to mention the weird dripping sounds... Isn't siffrin terrified of water?

Anyway, when the time loops start, that's where things get REALLY interesting. Cause Ghost siffrin has to deal with both the time loops and confronting the fact that their a ghost that died! All those weird oddities from before become harder to ignore, and the more siffrin notices them the more their human disguise falls apart.

In my opinion, the form of a ghost is all about their perception of themselves. If siffrin thinks he is human their human. But if siffrin thinks too much about being a ghost... things get weird.

...Like during one loops snack time, thinking too hard about being a ghost, they start to wonder where the food they've been eating goes and this time... the food falls right through them instead of being consumed.

Or during bad touch... well, they might just phase right through :)

Wow! This was long. If you read all this, you are a saint.

These two have eaten away at me, I love both changing the time loop events and changing pre-canon! There are so many more ideas that I haven't touched yet, I have so much for both of them. they're so different despite being based on the same concept

(The art will be finished soon, lol, my bad)

[cakerybakery]

People seem sad. Have some bunny Adam and snake Lucifer making more babies.

-

Lucifer flicked the end of Adam’s lop ear to watch it twitch in Adam’s sleep.

It was a rare quiet moment when the triplets were all asleep so Adam was taking a little nap.

He didn’t want to wake his bunny boyfriend, Adam was just too cute to leave alone, so to keep his hands to himself Lucifer rolled over and checked out their toddlers, asleep on the cot off the bed, instead.

Junior looked so much like Adam it was ridiculous. All the kids had Adam’s lop ears and cottontail, his twitchy nose and feet that were slightly too big for their bodies. But Junior had Adam’s brown hair and general look. Bone structure, was possibly the term Lucifer was looking for.

His skin was more human coloured, fleshy, so the patches of white scales stuck out like a sore thumb. Really, it was only the eyes, the patches of white scales, and the general diaper area that Junior took after Lucifer. Their sweet little scaredy bunny was the most demonic looking of the three, that was for sure.

The girls definitely looked more like him. Blonde and pale you couldn’t really see their scales but it felt like they had more of them. Alice and Amber had Adam’s big golden eyes and they looked so sweet and innocent. But as sweet as they looked, they were trouble. Currently their favourite game was dressing the same and trying to trick people into thinking they were each other.

Adam and Lucifer could see their hair swirls, one on the left and one on the right, and smell the difference. Their attempts to blame Junior for things had failed thus far.

All of three years old and they picked on their barely older brother as much as they doted on him. Even now the girls both cuddled him tight in their sleep. The poor boy was frowning and his foot twitched as it tried to thump the ground.

Lucifer couldn’t help it and touched Junior’s little bunny nose. It twitched and the boy sneezed in his sleep. In place of the toddler was a tiny brown bunny.

He mentally changed the check list to add shapeshifting to the list of things Junior got from him.

Hands grabbed him and he was pulled back into Adam’s nest of blankets and fallen feathers. Lucifer was cuddled tight and pressed against Adam he recognized a particular smell.

Adam started to rut against him while half asleep.

“Not that I mind,” Lucifer whispered as he maneuvered himself into a more favourable position, “but I thought you wanted to wait before having more babies.”

Against Lucifer’s stomach, Adam thrusted harder as he started to wake up more. Lucifer groped his bunny’s cock through his pants and soon Adam was fully awake.

“Better stop me now if you don’t want more babies, Adam.”

“Been thinking about having more lately.” Adam nuzzled Lucifer’s hair and his finger scratched at Lucifer’s scales.

He had started to shed and the scratches felt nice.

“Maybe one more litter of kits.” Adam was already pulling his own pants down. “Until this batch is out of the den anyway. We have the rest of eternity for you to keep knocking me up.”

Magic fucking words right there.

Lucifer helped pull off Adam’s clothing before yanking off his own.

They didn’t exact have a lot of time. It was like in their pre-kid days when they could spend a week nesting.

No coy games of catching the rabbit.

Adam let Lucifer grope his dry tits for a few moments then put him to work between his legs.

Lucifer didn’t have to do much prep, ready to breed Adam was wet and needy. He teased Adam a little to be safe and enjoyed the way his hunny bunny whimpered and wanted more.

‘Call me a farmer, cause I’m going to plow this fertile field.’ Lucifer grinned at his own little pun and filled Adam with one of his cocks. The other he rubbed against Adam’s dick.

Adam wrapped a large hand loosely around both cocks, keeping them together.

Thrusting into Adam’s cunt while he was in heat was its own kind of magic. His scent was maddening. Driving Lucifer to fuck him as hard and deep as Lucifer could get. He wished he could fill Adam’s cunt with both dicks, but Adam didn’t like that, so one it was.

Lucifer’s heart pounded faster than he could fuck Adam, but he really wanted to keep up with it. He wanted Adam to know how fast he made his heartbeat.

Adam moaned behind his hand. The legs around Lucifer’s waist urging him to go faster if he could.

He was going to fuck Adam’s belly full of babies again. How many of their demon hybrids would they have this time? Lucifer wanted another set of triplets at least. Adam tall form helped hide triplets fairly well last time and Lucifer wanted to see if he could tell easier if he got to be around Adam for the pregnancy instead of chased off.

Tension was building and Adam came around him. That sweet cunt milking Lucifer’s cock.

Adam relaxed, bonelessly on his messy nest of blankets and dropped feathers.

There was no better sight for Lucifer. Adam’s legs fallen open, still stuffed to the brim with Lucifer’s dick. Their cocks painting Adam’s stomach. His hunny bunny sounding out of breath and a large smile on his face.

The littles started to stir and Lucifer pulled out and pulled up his pants. Adam pulled one of the blankets over himself and quickly rushed to the bathroom to clean up.

Lucifer checked on the triplets and yelped.

Around junior’s bunny form two white snakes were wrapped around him. His little foot was going crazy.

Pulling the girls off him they coiled around his hands instead and gave him curious looks.

“Okay. Three for three on shapeshifting then. Not sure if I have to buy a couple more cots so you leave Junior alone or some terrariums.” He put the girls down and they started back for their brother.

Lucifer picked them up again. “Girls, no.” He sighed. They gave him the saddest eyes and he almost broke. The little devils.

The bathroom door opened and Adam poked his head out.

“They still down?”

“Junior is. The girls are snakes.”

Adam frowned knitted his brow. “What?”

“Well. They can shapeshifting now. And they’re snakes.”

Getting closer Adam saw them twisting around Lucifer’s blackened arms.

“Oh, great.” Adam groaned. “Maybe we need to get them some terrariums.”

Lucifer laughed. “I said the same thing!”

Adam chuckled at that. He looked around the room. “You know it’s pretty crowded in here for five people.”

One of the girls reached out for Adam to take her.

“Hello, Amber.” He scratched her little snake head. “The kids are pretty big now. Maybe they need their own room, or rooms.”

“Finally going to move to the castle?”

Adam rolled his eyes but nodded. “Yeah. I think it’s time. Maybe hire a nanny too.”

That did give Lucifer pause. He mentioned getting a nanny once and quickly found himself banging into Alastor’s door once more, he knew better than to open it after last time, and sleeping alone.

“You sure?”

“Lucifer. I’m keeping my shit together in front of the kids but if you don’t get them to a sitter soon I’m going to lock myself in the bathroom with the shower head and you can watch the kids until my heat is over.”

“I’ll call Charlie.”

[pommpuriinn]

November 2024 DAZED Magazine

Featuring Txt’s Joohyung and Beomgyu

cover one with photos in the magazine

Beomgyu and Joohyung’s outfit

Joohyung’s hair (has baby bangs sharp tips like the bangs in the makeup pic)/color | makeup | nails

cover two with photos in the magazine

Beomgyu and Joohyung’s outfit

Joohyung’s hair/color | makeup | nails

What’s the issue about?

In this November issue we show sides of the couple people haven’t seen along with finally getting so information from the couple about their dynamic relationship like; how is it working side by side constantly? Does the relationship ever create tension within the group? What’s the couple’s future plans? This issue also covers each person’s own individual lives and their own path with music.

Thank you again for accepting the shoot. *interviewer smiles brightly at the couple*

B: oh, thank you for having us. *smiles backs*

It’s quite hard to get you two together like this and talk about your public relationship. So, my first question is why is that?

J: *stuck air between her teeth* honestly…I don’t know? *laughs* We honestly don’t really go talking about our relationship when we’re on variety shows. Like if the mc asks who’s dating yeah we say it, but other than that we are quite private about it.

B: It's like something we unconsciously do. We never talked about it behind hand *shakes his head ‘no’* like it’s not planned, plus we don’t really act much different with each other.

How is the dynamic in the relationship?

B: despite my goofy attitude on cameras I’m more serious behind closed doors and it carries on within the relationship. I’m more sentimental when it comes to our relationship. I like to have long, serious conversations and just hang out inside our places like very calm and chill. *shyly smiles and nods his head*

J: I don’t really recognize that I’m more…cuter? *looks at Beomgyu for confirmation* I heard from not just Beomgyu, but the members that I’m the complete opposite when I’m not on camera. I guess I tend to be warmer and clinger.

B: We balance each other out. She’s definitely the mood maker in the relationship, at least to me she is. *looks at Joohyung longingly*

Does working together get in the way of working with each other in the group?

J: never. It has never affected the group

B: Yeah, being in a relationship together didn’t really change anything at all. There was no awkwardness between anyone or tension. We act exactly the same as before.

You two have known each other for quite a long time, do you have any future plans with each other?

*the two look at each other before bursting into laughter causing the interviewer to smile at the young couple*

J: I’m sorry, it’s just we have been asked that question many times from my aunt and Beomgyu’s parents. Umm…I mean we don’t like thinking too much ahead. We’re still so young, but I would be lying if I say we didn’t fully think about our future sometimes.

B: Yeah I agree. *chuckles*

I heard that Joohyung-ssi has moved out of the dorms and actually lives alone and I wonder if Beomgyu-ssi has plans on moving in?

J: lives alone? *jokingly scoffs* they all come and sleep then eat like they own the place. *everyone laughs*

B: *clears throat* I do visit often, but I want to give Joohyung the space she never had for like 6 to 7 years. She has always been next to us since day one plus since before we would practiced for hours on end she would never leave to go back to her little room to sleep. Joohyung would sleep with us on the practice room floor, and once they chose us to be the final group line up we became even more attached to the hip.

J: I can finally have girl time with my cats without hearing them yell at their computers, tv, or at each other whenever they’re playing an intense game. Though I do miss when the younger ones would come to my room in the middle of night and ask if they could sleep with me, like little babies. *laughs* I could tell cats do miss them sometimes too because when they come to visit me the cats could hear them talking while coming through the door and they jump off their cat tree and sprint towards the door to greet them.

B: they would be like MEOW MEOW sometimes dragging their meows out then they start rubbing themselves on our feet, it’s really cute.

Joohyung-ssi I wanted to ask during the American leg of the group’s tour moas would ask about a new album and I too am curious if you’re working on anything new?

J: That’s quite a difficult question. *laughs bitterly* Mm…all I’ll say is that I had quite some time thinking over a few things about my own music away from the group, and it’s complicated right now with everything going on. But I don’t want moas to lose hope since everyday I see their kind messages waiting for my music and I just want to say I’m so thankful that moas are so understanding and patient when it comes to my music, and I won’t disappoint them when the time comes.

And Beomgyu-ssi we know your love for creating music and I wonder if you’re going to release any of your very own some day?

B: I do constantly love writing and making music and I’m happy that sometimes the company goes with my work, but it does happen rarely. I really hope in the future I could release some music I worked on fully for moas.

Lastly, what do you want to tell moas?

B: I want to say thank you to all the moas who support us being together and for sending lots of love and support for tomorrow x together. Please stay with us and show lots of love for our new album the star chapter: sanctuary

J: I’m not usually good at this *chuckles* moa thank you so much for staying by our side and always defending and fighting for us, I know it’s hard right now. We tomorrow x together will always repay you with lots of love back and constantly giving you amazing music that we put in lots of time and effort. Please listen to our new album with the title track ‘over the moon’

J & B: thank you~

[ivanttakethis]

End of Round 30 - Tov’s Log

Cirrus (57) vs. Tov (43) -> Cirrus Win

————————————————————

Hope is not enough.

Love is not enough either.

Not even something as sacred as faith is enough to survive.

To be reborn.

Tov never wanted to win Alien Stage.

She just wanted to live for her loved ones.

Maybe that was why she was here now, at the end of Round 30, staring up at a 14 point loss.

57 - 43

She didn’t want the right thing.

Thinking she could love or hope or pray her way into winning was foolish.

And she would pay the ultimate price for it.

Tov didn’t believe in the Great Anakt, even as a child. She always hoped that when she died, she’d somehow be returned to the stars, rather than to the heavens that supposedly lay beyond them.

I suppose I’ll know soon enough…

She tried to clear her mind. To settle into something more peaceful.

But it was hard with so many things crowding her thoughts, vying for the last of her conscious attention.

Nyx’s smile.

Dian’s teasing.

Tallis’s eyes.

Solei’s light.

Aurien’s steadiness.

Wren’s laugh.

Cassio’s last words to her.

“No matter what happens tonight, I’m proud of you, Tov.”

It was hard not to think of everyone she loved.

Everyone she would leave behind.

She couldn’t change anything now though.

Her fate had been decided.

All she could do was embrace the end and wait for the silence.

Tov steadied herself, took a deep breath, and looked up at the stars.

She wanted them to be the last thing she saw. Before whatever came next.

Tears pricked at the backs of her eyes.

Her heart wedged itself in her throat.

Is this how you felt, Himei?

When you were up on stage and saw the final scores and knew you were about to die?

What were you thinking about as you took your last breath?

What did you see when you looked up at the sky?

Did the stars show you something?

Tov hoped that wherever she was going, she would still be able see them.

If she could, then maybe everything would be okay.

Her eyes landed on a constellation.

The slightly misshapen star.

The one Himei named after her.

Please…

She prayed.

Let this be a swift and painless death.

I don’t want to suffer anymore.

This is my last request.

It all came to an end so quickly.

The bright and blinding death of a star.

A loud crack like a lighting strike.

A searing pain carved its way up her right side.

Tov’s world tilted on its axis.

And then.

Nothing.

“Tov?” A familiar voice called through the fog.

Something nudged at her side.

“Tov? Hey, wake up.”

It — a hand, she thought distantly — nudged her again, harder and more persistent this time.

Tov grunted at the unwanted contact, already missing the deep sleep she’d been abruptly awoken from.

Reluctantly, she opened her eyes and took in her surroundings.

I’m… back in Anakt Garden?

Tov blinked away the bleariness clouding her vision and looked up.

A canopy of broad, green leaves stretched out above her, branches swaying gently in the wind.

Sunlight danced across the grass in pinpricks, like stars in the night sky.

Eden. She thought.

I’m under Eden Tree.

The realization felt comforting, in a way.

Eden was safe. Nostalgic.

An encapsulation of her childhood.

But how did I get here?

“There you are.” The same familiar voice teased, much closer now than before.

“You’ve been out for a while. Did you sleep well?” Himei asked.

Tov opened her mouth to respond, before clamping it shut with an audible click.

Wait—

Her heart skipped a beat. Maybe two.

She definitely wasn’t breathing anymore.

Slowly, she lifted her head from where it had been resting on a shoulder and her gaze met a pair of dark brown eyes and long lashes that she’d only ever see again in her dreams.

“Himei?”

Himei smiled at her, “Of course. Who else would it be?”

A deep ache took root in the soft tissue between Tov’s ribs.

Her voice trembled in its wake, “H-How… how are you…” How are you here? How are you alive? How is this happening? “…feeling?” She settled on.

Himei tilted her head slightly to the side — a question all on its own — and a few short curls of her hair fell in her face.

Brief memories of Round 24 flashed before Tov’s eyes.

Her new haircut.

Her struggle to survive against Cirrus.

Her desperate smile right before it was all over.

Himei is dead.

But if I’m here with her, that means I’m dead too.

Right?

The mere thought was paralyzing.

She died on live broadcast, in front of thousands if not millions, including the people she loved.

They would suffer in the aftermath of her death just as she had suffered for the ones lost before her.

She was just another trauma to them now.

“I’m fine.” Himei said, oblivious to Tov’s unfolding spiral.

Tov’s eyes snapped back to hers, stunned to silence.

Himei’s gaze held no deceit, only the kindness Tov knew better than the back of her hand and missed more than anything.

Something in her core cracked.

Fine.

Himei was feeling fine.

Himei was feeling fine.

And Tov…

Tov wanted to scream.

Tov wanted to scream and cry and laugh until she made herself sick.

She wanted to rip at all of her seams.

She wanted tear something apart with her teeth.

But she didn’t do any of that.

In the face of her best friend, her first love, happy and alive and safe—

Tov crumbled.

Her resolve broke into a watery mess.

She was tired.

So, so tired.

She just wanted to be held.

She just wanted to rest.

Tov closed her eyes again and leaned against Himei’s shoulder.

Her throat constricted as she pressed closer to her warmth.

The ache in her chest worsened.

“I missed you.” She said, holding back tears that threatened to choke her.

Himei hummed at the admission, warm like the Sun. “I know,” Her hand gently smoothed down Tov’s braids and she sank into the feeling. “I missed you too.”

“But it’s time to wake up now.”

————————————————————

It’s not fucking over yet!!! TRUST!!!

Tov may not have won the season, but I’ve had some ideas for her beyond Season 39 for a while now.

Her loss just forced me to get my ass in gear and make those plans a reality!

I also need a Tovallis reunion, so Tov can’t go anywhere yet 😁

Everything will become a bit more clear in the next log. Stay tuned!!

Himei and Tallis belong to @lookatmysillies.

Nyx and Dian belong to @rockwgooglyeyes.

Solei belongs to @solei-eclipse.

Aurien belongs to @aurienneirua.

Cirrus belongs to @cirrusoftheclouds.

Tagging: @billwasnot @sotogalmo @junebluues @4listr @geospiral @starry-skiez @tsukacchako @pwippy @waterydream @daiki1k @season39

[explodingchantry]

A review of Veilguard from a long time, die hard fan of Dragon Age

When the review embargo on Veilgurd was lifted, I found it hard to take any review at face value. Dragon Age is unfortunately the one series I am very pretentious about, and I can’t trust reviews from people who aren’t huge Dragon Age fans like I am and who don’t hold the same views as me -- those views being, to keep it short, that Anders was right and justified, that he is one of the most tragic characters in the entire series, that he is a hero, that Bioware’s writing can be shockingly biased at times in the wrong ways, and that Inquisition is really not that good at all. These opinions have a lot of weight in whether I will listen to someone about Dragon Age matters. And I haven’t see a proper review from someone like this -- though granted as soon as the game came out I locked down and refused to look at anything in fear of spoilers lol. 

This review will be spoilers free, and there will be an addition at some point with all the spoilers and what I think about specific story details, because I have so much to say. 

The TL;DR? It’s a good game. If you like Dragon Age like I do, you’ll like it. If you open your heart to it, you’ll love it. It was made with love. 

This will be divided in section based on people’s biggest worries about the game and how much I have to say about each of them.

The art direction

Honestly I was a defender of the art style as soon as the trailers started coming out and my opinion has not changed lol. Dragon Age was never exactly known for its graphics - Origins and DA2 look… okay. And Inquisition was fine for its time but has aged like the most rotten milk you could find. Its environments are still pretty, but its characters, man… I’m sorry, it just hasn’t aged well. Frostbite engine did not help Bioware in this case. They’ve spoken about how it was a new engine for them and how they struggled with it and it shows. 

This game? Oh boy, yeah, no, I can believe they got a handle of Frostbite now. It is breathtaking. The environments are crafted so meticulously and with so much love, the lighting is beautiful and that’s even without RTX (because I’m in the AMD gang and can’t splurge on Nvidia lol). Many many times I would stop and go into photo mode either to take screenshots or to just admire the world around me. I’d spam screenshot in cutscenes, too. The character animations are good, especially the facial expressions -- though the body animations remain a tad stiff, like everyone’s got a broom up their ass and forgot their spine can bend and move. It’s not that big of a deal, but I did notice it a couple times. 

You can tell Bioware had fun both with character design and with the environments, now that they’re free of Ferelden’s basic medieval england looking ass. You grow attached to the beautiful and lively environments. Treviso has got to be my favorite, but there’s a lot for everyone in there. 

And no, the smoother art style does not make the game less dark. If anything, some of the enemy redesigns really help make the game scarier. The first time I was faced with the blight in game, even though I’d seen it in all of the promotional screenshots and trailers -- I was horrified and sickened by just how gross they made it look (and sound.). I promise you, you shouldn’t be scared of that. 

The emotional moments sold well even “in spite of” the art style. I don’t know, it’s hard for me to even understand people’s worries about that. Not everything’s got to be hyper-realistic, ya’ll. 

The combat system

That IS one thing I was a tad worried about, when we first saw it. It looked good, but it was definitely a departure from what we were used to. 

Honestly, to sell my point, we have to look at the previous games’ combat system. I don’t actually know if there’s a specific name for this style aside from, idk, “CRPG combat” lol. I like to refer to it as MMORPG combat because you mostly see it in MMOs now, I feel. Your character cycles through a bunch of basic combat animations for basic attacks, and has a lot of abilities to throw in combat which can synergise which each other. DAO had the best system, but DA2 felt best to play due to the updated and dynamic animations and faster paced combat. DAI had the weakest both due to the way they overhauled the classes (especially mages) and made us lose fan-favorite specialisations (spirit healer and blood mage) with not much in exchange. It was simplified and a bit sluggish, in my opinion. It missed the strategy imposed by DAO as well as the punch from DA2. 

And of course, there’s the battle tactics. You get to basically program companion AIs and can chain some really, really good combos with them. It’s really fun once you get the hang of it, but let’s be real: very few people did. Very few people actually used them, as good of a system as it was. 

This combat system… has aged a tad, unfortunately. It doesn’t fit today’s gaming landscape, but even if it did… It would need more to land, I think, if they kept it as it was. Something to make it feel less sluggish, more intense, more involved. Make the attacks FEEL like they land and hit and hurt the enemy. Because the harsh truth is, although DAO has the most in depth combat system of all of the games -- it also has numerous popular mods to skip combat entirely. 

Combat in Veilguard feels really, really good. When I first started I often found myself grinning, going “oh HELL yeah” at the screen, because it felt so good. I almost raised the difficulty a few times because I wanted combat to last longer because it just felt so damn good. I do wish it was a bit deeper, especially in the case of combos, but it remained nonetheless fun to cycle through abilities and companions depending on the area and type of enemies I was fighting. It feels more action-y, but it isn’t a damn hack n slash like I’ve seen people say lol. Have none of these people ever heard of the term action RPG or what. Because that’s what Veilguard is. It’s an action RPG and there’s nothing wrong with that. 

I think Bioware always kind of wanted to move towards this, as well. Since DAO, Dragon Age felt like it kept its combat system not because it was the most fitting for the games Bioware wanted to make, but because they “had to”. Because it was right for the genre. Because it’s what players expect. Because they’d get backlash if they didn’t. But they finally decided to change it, and I think it’s right, for Veilguard. I think Bioware had fun making this system, and it is very much extremely fun to play. 

My only wish is for spirit healer and blood mage specialisation to come back, and for companion leveling up to have been deeper and more varied. They basically have set abilities that you level up and though you can change some aspects of them, that’s it. But it remains a good system. I liked it. I genuinely have really enjoyed fighting in this game and will be exploring all classes and specialisations thoroughly in my next replays, as well as exploring every difficulty. 

The writing

It’s fine. It’s brilliant, at times. Cringy, at others. And you want to know a secret?

You could say that about every god damn Dragon Age game, lol.

I’ve recently -- as in, very recently -- replayed the whole series in preparations for Veilguard. Not only did it have cringe-worthy moments in all games, but some even made me grimaces. DAO is staggeringly misogynistic both for its time and for its setting: You are told in the character creator that men and women are equal in Thedas only to constantly face outward sexism at every turn. It’s shocking. As for DA2, it’s weirdly mean spirited. It calls a lot of its characters crazy and makes fun of them for the meanest fucking reasons. It has a character who fights for his people’s freedom approve of you when you give another character over to a slaver, for fuck’s sake lol. It is very mean. This one is the most “product of its time” of all three, because DAO was misogynistic even for its time lol. And DAI… well, DAI is bland and lacks depth and feeling ina almost everything lmfao. 

Veilguard holds your hand a lot, especially in the beginning, and kind of babies you at times. It also suffers from painful expository moments. Thing is, I feel for Bioware: They have three games and dozens of side media’s worth of lore to explain to you, and have to keep in mind not only that some players will have never heard of Dragon Age, or that some have only played the games and never touched the side media, or that they played the games a whole DECADE ago and can’t remember shit. It’s hard. I would’ve done better lol but it IS difficult. I feel for them. 

Some things are a little less excusable, like the game REALLY holding your hand through a couple puzzles and through the fact that you need to focus on companions and do their quests etc. A part of me wonders if it came out of playtesting, or something. It definitely took me out of it a little bit, not gonna lie. It felt quite jarring. 

There’s a couple other things, like having far too much telling in places. I’d also have liked to do some of the cool stuff my Rook does in cutscenes within actual gameplay, lol. And there were beats where I was left thinking ���... that’s it?”, which is never good. 

The codex entries are great and interesting though. Only game in the franchise where I read every single codex entries I found (AND I FOUND ALMOST ALL OF THEM!!!!). A lot of them are fascinating, but more are just very sweet or funny, and they help build the characters and the world. 

And my god, those characters are ALIVE. I truly understand when Bioware said they really put emphasis on the companions. There are so many cute banters, a lot of which you can catch in the lighthouse, as well as little scenes that mostly serve to humanise the companions and make them feel alive. Not only that, but you also get attached to a lot of NPCs -- and I do mean a lot. Each faction has NPCs I cared for deeply, and you always just get to visit them and talk to them, even if it’s just them saying a line or two of dialogue at you. It still helps to build a relationship with them, and care for them. And your companions interact with them sometimes, too! And they have history! It makes the world genuinely feel so much more alive and makes you feel so much more involved than you were in DAI! They manage to transform from pixels on a screen there to give you quests to actual characters with rich lives and feelings that you want to see succeed.

I romanced Lucanis and he is by far my favorite of the companions, but I love all of them. This means it’s the first game in the series where I genuinely really love all the companions. There was always one, maybe two, in each game whom I didn’t care much about or which pissed me off -- but they’re all immensely likeable here, and I care so much about not only my Rook’s relationship to them, but their relationships to each other. And there’s so many little banters, notes, and codex entries which helps further their bond and makes them feel like roommates. It’s very sweet and enjoyable.

I also love my Rook a lot. I played mostly as a sarcastic Rook who was very impulsive and wasn’t afraid to speak their feelings out. There are times you can express genuine fear, hurt, or anger at certain NPCs or situations, and the line delivery really carries it. They felt alive and involved, so much more than the Inquisitor ever did. My Rook has a personality, and not only that, but the way the factions were integrated was really nice. I played as an elven mage grey warden, and each of those bits came up a lot. I’m a bit miffed that you don’t get to choose whether you were dalish or city elf, and more miffed that the game/npcs try to explain dalish lore at you even when you put a wholeass vallaslin on your character, but aside from that I’m rather pleased with the integration of the faction. I imagine some factions (lords of fortune) got the shorter end of the stick - but playing as a grey warden was deeply rewarding in this game. Rook can make comment about it in dialogue, in banter, and other characters mention it too. I got to discuss the joining with another warden, and my Rook commented a few things about their time in the order. And it made my friendship with Davrin mean so much more, too. It also made every plot point involving the wardens hit like a TRUCK. 

And my god, do some of the missions in this game hit like a truck. The villains are believably terrifying. This isn’t Corypheus 2.0. I hadn’t felt this level of dread in Dragon Age since DAO. Some missions especially have rocked me to my core, and some of them I consider to be absolute masterpieces (Weisshaupt, my god Weisshaupt. My favorite mission in any Bioware game, period.) I wish the last boss had been scarier and stronger, though. I felt it did fall short in regards to that. Funny enough a lot of the side bosses were harder than main bosses. That was a bit sad. But yes, Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain feel like gods that you are facing. It is so much better than DAI in that regard.

The game does make you care deeply about everything happening, I can promise you that. And it manages to make even vehement Solas haters like him. I used to be a Solas hater back in 2014/2015, though I did mellow out over my replays. By my last Inquisition replay I did come around to him and was just mildly annoyed at how popular he was because I still found him overhyped, mostly because he suffered from DAI’s bland writing. But Veilguard makes you care for him, and elicits a lot of strong reactions towards him. He’s made me cheer, and also made me feel extreme anger, and then a lot of sympathy. He’s a marvelously complex character and one of Bioware’s best. He went from being one of my least favorite characters to one of my favorites - potentially even top 10 material. This is high praise for me lol. 

The matter of bringing choices in is…. Well, not gonna lie, a few events I was like “hm, no this wouldn’t happen in my world state” or “oh I wish they took in account past choices for this scene/plot point”. It remains an extremely baffling choice from Bioware and I remain really pissed off about it, lol. 

The Inquisitor was fine. I’m not attached to the Inquisitor, so I’m not able to make many comments about them. I’ve seen other people who ARE attached feel happy about their inclusion, so I’d go with that. There were a few nice moments. 

Act 3 is absolutemy amazing, also. It's engaging and terrifying and broke my heart several times. I do not cry easily but I was left sobbing and whimpering at Bioware lmfao. Granted, it was my first playthrough, and my emotions were heightened by having a new Dragon Age game after so long. But I do think Act 3 is just... really, really good. It gets the point of the game across very well, too.

The lore

This… is where the game falls short the most, for me. 

Don’t get me wrong: we get a LOT of new lore and a lot of it is insanely satisfying when you’ve been in the trenches for a decade and had tons of theories. A lot of discoveries left me buzzing with thoughts, new theories, ideas, and excitement. It was exhilarating. 

But there’s many points where, as a guy who just casually reads the lore books for fun, I was left saying “uh, no, that’s not true” to “that doesn’t make any fucking sense”. Mostly, a lot of my issues comes with the integration of the politics of the game. Dragon age has always been a political series, in the sense that the politics of Thedas are just as important as any threat we face in the game. And for like 15 years, the north was built up in a certain way -- and in many aspects, Veilguard does deliver. In others, it feels like it glosses over very important lore, or just tries to gaslight you into thinking you were wrong all along. Some of it is clever recontextualising that I did appreciate, considering all the lore we DO know is in universe, which means biased by the areas we learn the lore from. But there are a few times where the lore breaks took me out of the game and felt very immersion breaking.

Unfortunately I can’t go to much further into this without spoiling anything, but it’s definitely where I was the most disappointed. It’s small things, it’s always small things, but it’s definitely made me either raise my eyebrows or be very disappointed at times. I’ve already spoken about a bit of it in previous posts, and need to write something lengthy about magic specifically. Just beware that if you are insane about the lore, it is where the game will fall short at points. But it will also offer you amazing lore in turn, so you know. It’s a balancing act. 

It feels like the writing has mellowed out in this aspect. It makes me wonder how different the past games would be, if written by these people. How different this game would've been, if it was written by past writers. Only game where I've gone "wait why am I not getting hate crimed right now".

Also the secret post credit scene sucks entire ass and ruins everything lmfao I am ignoring it entirely.

There’s obviously a lot more I want to say about many things. I want to talk about Lucanis, about Taash, about Emmrich, about Harding -- about everyone, really. But that’ll be for further, spoiler-full posts. 

I’ll also save some more in depth review for a later post because I wanna go play dolls in the character creator again.

[reflectionsofgalaxies]

.

[hollow-vok]

Ohh im obssesed

[felidthing]

i just had a very long complicated dream about some very ooc homestuck kids. jade might be rooted in some form of fanon at least but i dunno

[burningcomputerpersona]

also how is it that spanish love songs has such good merch??? i don't think I've ever been to a show before where I had to struggle so hard to pick just one thing, like in a lot of cases there's only really one thing that appeals to me or I just get something bc i love the band and need to have them on me regardless of what the design looks like. but i was spending ages just staring at the merch stand trying to pick one out of alllll the things i wanted

[yongseungkim]

.

[curryshesus]

jeon jungkook fics that had me going feral

hi guys, here's a part 2 to my favorite jjk fics on tumblr! note that many of these fics contain 18+ content. you are responsible for the content you consume! as always, if you enjoyed any of these fics as much as i did, please take a moment to send some love to the authors! part 1 | other bts members

➺ cold nights & blurred lines - by @awrkive

summary: jungkook and you have been in a sexual relationship with each other for four months now, and it’s casual for the most part. but as time passes, you can’t help but feel that some of the lines suddenly got blurred in the process. is it a cliché to blur the lines with your fuck buddy? it definitely is. will you do something about it? both of your emotional constipation have a hard time saying yes.

➺ night crawlers - by @alphabetboyluvr

summary: jungkook’s always been good at running. track, field, red lights, shit outta luck. drugs, now, too. but he doesn’t expect to run into you. in your shared lecture halls, sure. maybe. but not down the back alleys of daerim at ass o’clock in the morning. there are only three types of women he ever sees in daerim: hookers, sugar-babies and addicts. you aren't any of those; you're a trust-fund baby who can get percocet on private repeat prescription, if you really want it. he's sure of it. so it then further begs the question: why the fuck are you here?

➺ this is how you fall in love - by @jeonqkooks

summary: after years of drinking and clubbing most days of the week and leaving every gig with a different girl on his arm, jungkook feels what it’s like to want someone with his entire being.

➺ the dilf installments - by @mercurygguk

summary: this series follows jungkook’s life as a divorced father. but wait, how exactly does one balance being a father, a boyfriend, a friend, and a respectable boss at the same time? read the installments below to find out!

➺ ultimatum - by @parkmuse

summary: your pervy, idiotic boyfriend just so happens to also be your friendly neighborhood Spider-man (in bed).

➺ a hero's journey - by @hansolmates

summary: jungkook and jisoo are the mightiest power couple. however, one drunken confession and that whole facade fades in an instant. you realize that maybe you need to break from your unvaried life for a bit and be the hero of your own love story

➺ tempest - by @kooktrash

summary: you’ve always considered your life to be more mundane than you would like to admit. it was a constant cycle of the same things over and over again that when you meet jeon jungkook at a bar, of all places, you didn’t expect to see just how much he would change your life and those around you. he’s got an air of mystery around him with his charming good looks and a violent past that you slowly begun to unravel when it feels like everything is going perfect.

➺ by its cover - by @gimmesumsuga

summary: the one where Jungkook makes a horrifically bad first impression.

➺ slow dancing - by @yoonia

summary: when your countdown appeared on your wrist right in the morning of your eighteenth birthday, you had thought that perhaps the universe was on your side, especially since the final seconds were already ticking so soon. You just never expected to have your first meeting with your soulmate to be the day when you had to let him go. But hope was not lost when you still found love without the bond, and Jungkook showed you that it was possible to find happiness beyond the system that was written for you. Except that the universe doesn’t seem to have enough of its game, when your past sacrifice comes back hitting you straight in the face, just when you had believed that you had written off the perfect ending to your bittersweet tale.

➺ e s p r e s s o - by @joonberriess

➺ hold me closer - by @ahundredtimesover

summary: when you're asked to look after your parents' house and meet them before they go on vacation, you, Jimin, and Jungkook take the trip to your hometown of Busan and relive memories of your youth. While your new relationship has you feeling like a lovesick teenager with all the affection that Jungkook shows you, you're still you - a professional trying to make it in the corporate world, and an eldest child trying not to disappoint her parents. And that turns out to be your undoing, as a little blunder causes a rift between you and Jungkook, resulting in a trip that you might as well have messed up… Not if your brother can help it, though.