#it’s hard to see but it’s paramore over the pocket and the back is like a workout video still

[wewontbesleeping]

omg fb just showed me this pic from 7(!!!) years ago today and I STILL regret not keeping this paramore shirt when I broke up w my ex lmfao.

[irrevocableloves]

violent delights

twilight rewrite! edward cullen x fem!witch!reader

chapter three: was it really luck?

previous chapter ౨ৎ masterlist ౨ৎ chapter four

summary: after graciously saving your life, was it really luck that struck edward cullen's hand between you and that van?

warnings: near death experience, angst

words: 2.6k

I didn't know what to expect from Edward as I readied for our next encounter, seeing that he seemed a bit frustrated with the last question I'd asked him.

I couldn't help but blame myself for his behavior, wondering if perhaps I'd just kept the personal questions to myself, then maybe he wouldn't have left so abruptly. No. It wasn't my fault. How could it? It was only a simple question. But why did I feel the need to console him as if I was in the wrong? Why did I feel such a pull towards Edward Cullen?

I clenched my wheel, focusing more on the road rather than my invading thoughts. The road was a bit slippery from the snowfall from yesterday, so I was being extra careful on the road leading towards school. I had less of a struggle thanks to the snow chains my dad installed, but I'd rather put my thoughts away for now as a precaution.

Before getting out of my car, I looked to my left. Edward. He was standing by his silver Volvo with the company of his siblings. He glanced over at me, almost with a look of frustration and then continued a conversation with his darker haired sibling.

Not spotting any of my friends thus far, I unzipped the small pocket of my backpack and pulled out my wired headphones. Putting the buds into my ear, I let Paramore's "Decode" flood into my ears as I exited my car.

In the middle of the song, an odd sound appeared in my rearview, only for me to take out a bud to hear a high-pitched screech that became painfully loud.

I look up to see a van hurtling towards me. I couldn't move. Nothing seemed to be slowing down like it did in the films and I knew, within mere seconds, I would be crushed immediately.

Before I could close my eyes to brace the impact, Edward was in front of me, holding me, holding the car back with just one hand.

Now everything felt slow. I felt his cold hand burning my waist, my head throbbing from impact from my window, his eyes burning into my own, his gaze no longer filled with frustration, but fear, and perhaps worry? I studied his features once again, not a single flaw. His skin replicated glass, his eyes, almost glowing, and his lips as blushed as my own cheeks.

I looked down to his hand as it pushed the van, a large dent being left in place.

No words could leave my lips, only useless stutters.

"Y/N? Are you alright?" Edward breathed out.

"Uh," I sighed, "I think so?" I didn't feel any other pain other than the one at the back of my head, which was better than being crushed to death.

I tried to stand, to which Edward released, but with my dazed state, I topple over, just for Edward to place a tighter grip around my waist.

"I think you hit your head pretty hard, Y/N."

Before I could respond, everyone was swarming around the car. Yelling out multiple ARE YOU OKAY?, WHAT HAPPENED?, and ARE YOU HURT?'s, and even Tyler peeked out his van, blood on his forehead, apologizing over and over.

I could see Edward's family in the back holding no expression of concern, but rather a look of disapproval, maybe even anger, but perhaps I'd read them wrong.

Amidst the chaos, six EMTs and two teachers were finally able to shift the van away from Edward and I, but how did Edward–? I shook it off for the time being, blaming adrenaline.

I saw two stretchers being brought in. Edward was able to refuse his, but as I tried to do the same, he'd told them I hit my head, traitor. This resulted in the EMT's forcing a neck brace onto me whilst they carried me onto a stretcher and wheeling me into the back of the ambulance. I've never felt more embarrassed, especially since I was fine, mostly.

Even the unloading to the hospital was equally as embarrassing, if not more. There was not even a scratch on me, at least not one that was visible to me.

I was put into an emergency room, one that was lined with beds, separated by pastel-patterned curtains. The nurses had gone through normal procedures of a typical checkup as they checked my heart rate and temperature as they walked off. Once they were out of sight, I decided to quickly remove the unneeded neck brace and stick it under the pillows.

Not even a minute after, another stretcher was being brought to the bed next to mine. Tyler Crowley from Government and also one of Mike and Eric's few friends. He had bandages wrapped around his wounded head, blood seeping from the bandages, causing me to look towards the other side of the room. I wasn't a fan of blood. I was able to watch it in horror movies (if closing my eyes counted), but seeing it in real life had quite honestly made me a bit queasy.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry! I lost control of the car and it wouldn't stop—"

"Tyler, it's okay," I interrupted and I meant it. "Are you alright? Looks like you got it worse than me..."

I tried to make eye contact with him, facing down a bit as I conversed with him. From the corner of my eye, I could see the nurses unwinding the bandages from his head and grabbing a supply of fresh ones.

He ignored me completely, stuttering through his apologies, "I thought I was gonna kill you! I was going too fast and I hit the ice wrong and I–" He winced as one of the nurses started to clean his wounds. 

"Don't worry about it, Tyler. You missed me."

"How'd you get out the way so fast? One second you were there and then you were gone."

I wasn't even sure myself. Thinking back at it. The van had been right in front of me and before I left my car, Edward was across the lot. But, I just replied, trying hard to make it not sound questionable, "Umm... Edward, he–uh– he pulled me out of the way."

"Who?"

"Edward Cullen – he was standing right next to me." That didn't sound too convincing.

"Cullen? Wow... I didn't see him there. Guess it all happened so fast. Is he alright?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "Yeah, I think so. I'm not sure where he is, but they didn't make him use a stretcher." It all sounded insane. I couldn't believe Tyler believed me when I couldn't even believe myself. Had anyone seen what happened? Or was everything moving too fast to the point where time wasn't even comprehendible? I didn't see anything. But I knew he wasn't next to me, let alone walking towards me.

The hour so far spent at the hospital was agonizing as Tyler repeated his apologies. I was grateful that one of the doctors had stolen me for an x-ray, only to prove that I was right. Nothing was wrong with me. But, they insisted that I stayed until the main doctor had a chance to check in with me.

In the halls of the hospital, I heard my father's voice, "Y/N/N?!" He repeated my name until eventually he ended up at my wing. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Dad. It's okay." I tried to console him as my father narrowed down at Tyler, who was once again in a fit of apologies. I felt bad for him, but the apologies were getting worn down, and quite annoying actually. 

"Dad, it's not his fault, it was the ice–" 

He cut me off, "I nearly lost ya."

"Dad..." I didn't know what else to say to him. I understood where he was coming from completely, so even if I wasn't too happy about it, I let him lay it off on Tyler for the sake of his sanity.

"You can kiss your license goodbye," was his last remark.

"Hey, Edward, I'm really sorry–" Tyler began.

I looked to see Edward standing at the doorway, lifting a hand to pause Tyler's apology.

"No blood, no foul," he said as he walked over. "Chief Swan." He held his hand out to my father, giving him a nod. I didn't expect my dad to say anything to him, although I could see the valued respect in his eyes as he shook hands with Edward, and I was sure Edward could see the same.

With a few moments of silence, I cleared my throat, looking at my dad, hoping my eyes would get the hint for him to leave. He didn't. Instead, he was left in awkward silence, tapping his foot and looking anywhere but my direction.

"Dad," I cleared my throat again.

"Oh! Oh ya... for sure. I'll uh... be in the waiting room for ya, when you're ready to go," He walked back through the hall, leaving me and Edward, and of course, Tyler as well. 

"So uh, what's the verdict?" he asked me, slowly pulling the curtain between us and Tyler before sitting himself at the edge of my hospital bed.

"There's nothing wrong with me. No concussions, not a single scratch, but they won't let me go just yet," I complained. "How come you didn't come in strapped to a gurney like the rest of us?"

"My father he's–" 

As if it was on queue, Dr. Cullen sprung into the room.

"I heard the Chief's daughter was here." I looked up to see a quite handsome man, actually extremely handsome. Dr. Carlisle Cullen, Edward's father. He was pale, just like the rest of them, but blonde, and had the kindest eyes of them all.

After a couple minutes of observations, Dr. Cullen concluded, "You have a nice knot growing back there, but your x-rays show no indication of concussion. Does it hurt? Edward said you hit it pretty hard."

I glared at Edward and he only smirked, but god was that a gorgeous smirk.

"I'm good." 

"Well, your father made his way to the waiting room, so you can go home with him now if you'd like. But, if you feel dizzy or have trouble with your eyesight at all, be sure to come back alright?"

I didn't bother to ask about school, I knew it would be a definite 'no' to go back. But I was kind of glad. I knew I'd have to face the glory of a survivor, it was the one interesting thing that had happened in Forks in years, but for right now, I was glad to be heading home and to be away from the crowds of sincerities.

Getting off the bed, I seemed to have gotten up too quickly, which resulted in a dizzy spell, not enough to become unbalanced, but enough for the doctor to notice.

"I'm fine." I chuckled awkwardly.

"Make sure to take some Tylenol for the pain," he suggested.

"It doesn't really hurt that bad." And I meant that. It's not that I was the clumsiest, but even getting my head hit with a basketball in P.E. had hurt a lot more than this.

"It sounds like you were extremely lucky," Dr. Cullen smiled.

"I mean... it would've been a lot worse if Edward hadn't pushed me out of the way."

He was silent. He knows something. I looked at Edward and his head was down, avoiding any sort of eye contact.

"Oh, well, yes of course," he chuckled, then shifting his focus towards Tyler and putting his full focus on him. 

I decided not to press on, I'd got all the confirmation I needed to seem a little less crazy. But Edward on the other hand, I needed a bit more.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" I said softly, not wanting to scare him away, but he took a step back, jaw clenched.

"Your father is waiting for you." His demeanor was a lot like it was from the day I met him. Cold and distant. The only difference is that he was actually speaking to me. It didn't scare me, it only made me more frustrated. 

I tried to meet his eye line, but failed. "I'd like to speak to you alone, if you don't mind." I couldn't help the coldness in my tone. He was the one that started this.

No response. Instead he made his way out the door and into the hall, but I followed him.

"I just wanted to thank you, you know, for saving my life." I said as I caught up with him.

He turned to face me, his cold expression not yet faltering. "Is that it?" I was taken aback by his words, but even then, I didn't wanna let it go.

Before he could walk away, I grabbed his wrist... cold again.

"Before I got out of my car, you were across the lot..." I said, not exactly sure where the question was leading to.

"Y/N, I was standing right next to you." No. I could tell he was lying, I'd never heard him sound quite like this, it was as if he was taunting me, trying to manipulate me, make me seem like I was insane. 

 "No. You weren't." I was angry and I wasn't trying to let my levels of anger flare out to a point of no return, but he was making it harder.

"What do you want from me?"

"The truth, at least. I feel like I'm going crazy. I didn't see you, Tyler didn't see you. That van would've crushed us both and it didn't... Your hands, they left dents in my car and the van... you pushed it away with your bare hands at full sped and you're not even hurt." I could hear how crazy I sounded. I pushed back tears that were coming from anger, delusion, hurt, whatever it was. 

He looked at me in a way that I'd never seen before. Was it regret? Guilt? Sympathy?

"Y/N, please." I've never seen this side of him either and I wasn't expecting it.

"I'm not gonna tell anybody. I just wanna know why I'm lying for you at least."

"Can't you just thank me and try to get over it?" He wasn't harsh with this remark, but more humorous, as if he was trying hard to not let the truth slip.

"I did," I said plainly.

"You're not going to let it go, are you?"

"Nope." He didn't bother to respond back to me. Instead, he turned to walk away. He was not even inches away from the exit before I spoke up.

"Why'd you even bother?" I was curious. If he risked everything, whatever everything was, why didn't he save himself the trouble and let it crush me? I wish I could've voiced that, but for now, I couldn't bear to hear the answer to that.

"I don't know." Then he walked off.

I didn't know what was worse. Not knowing the truth of how he saved me or not knowing why he saved me. But, I was determined to find out both.

I brought myself to the waiting room where my dad was, finding out that my friends had been waiting there as well. Mike had fallen asleep, thankfully and the rest had run up to me in fits of worry before I explained to them my well condition. 

The car home was peaceful until my phone started going off with a call and multiple dings of text messages. I knew it was my mom and I mentally prepared for the screams of worry and terror once I holed up in my bedroom. And I still wasn't prepared. I told her over and over that I was fine, purposefully not mentioning how it was Edward Cullen that had saved my life only to save myself the questioning not only from my mother, but from myself. After the phone call, I found myself slowly drifting off.

My dreams that night were yet again plagued by Edward Cullen.

next chapter

a/n: hehe i made edward less of a gaslighter because honestly my anger would not be able to take that… i mixed a lot of scenes from both the book and the movie as always and added a little twist !!

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 9/26/2023

six sentences or less, bc having a physical form has been super duper extra fun this past week

listening

i like Chappell Roan very much as an artist/performer/media personality (and have previously featured tuesdaysongs Pink Pony Club and Red Wine Supernova), but i do not like her new album The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess very much as an album. it is not very good to listen straight through as a work. very high high and very very low vibes all over the place, three different kinds of club bangers interspersed with torch songs. After Midnight both sonically and like, vocal delivery? reminds me a lot of modern paramore?? chill but danceable, a canonically bisexual song.

-

reading

what would we fucking do without Riptide Publishing and their batshit insane (lovingly) catalog? The Glamour Thieves by Don Allman is the platonic ideal of a "one last job"-style heist book, in gay urban magic/paranormal wrapping paper. had remarkably good action sequences, buckets of atmosphere, excellent pacing. i read it in one sitting and was up until 3AM. my library doesn't have the other two in the trilogy, so i'm impatiently waiting until there's more fun money in the fun money budget

JT is an orc on the way up. He’s got his own boutique robotics shop, high-end clientele, and deep-pocketed investors. He’s even mentoring an orc teen who reminds him a bit too much of himself back in the day.  Then Austin shows up, and the elf’s got the same hard body and silver tongue as he did two years ago when they used to be friends and might have been more. He’s also got a stolen car to bribe JT to saying yes to one last scheme: stealing the virtual intelligence called Blue Unicorn. Soon JT’s up to his tusks in trouble, and it ain’t just zombies and Chinese triads threatening to tear his new life apart. Austin wants a second chance with JT—this time as more than just a friend—and even the Blue Unicorn is trying to play matchmaker.

-

watching

the latest Felix Colgrave and partner Zoë Medcraft video has big madeline vibes. in a big giant anthill all covered in vines lived twelve billion ants in many straight lines. love to watch an ant carry off an entire head of garlic

-

playing

the next g/enshin update is rapidly approaching and that's about all i've been doing the entire time i've been sick. toodling around and finishing off stray quests here and there, accidentally discovering i never engaged with a fairly major quest, exploring nooks and crannies for stray chests and puzzles.

i did an extremely tiresome quest chain and rejuvenated this big tree that you can see from three other in-game nations which is pretty cool. i wish it looked slightly less like a nuclear test cloud?

this monarch butterfly of a claymore-wielding woman will be released in late winter/early spring hopefully and i Must have her. this game is so good to me re: women with giant swords

-

making

fallow week. i hope to GOD i will have the energy this week to make these fucking couch covers i want them to be Done

[rebuke-me]

my deere playlist and the lyrics that made me put them on there (but half my music taste is incredibly obscure)

you belong with me - taylor swift

but she wears short skirts, i wear t-shirts // she’s cheer captain and i’m on the bleachers!

boy who has everything - annika bennett

sometimes i’m so cynical and self-conscious // and sometimes i see that i’m bringing him down // i stand in the mirror, hands in empty pockets // and wonder why he even wants me around 

bishounen - cepheid & ethan song

it’s funny when you’re nervous and you look away // you stutter when i laugh and give yourself away 

dream - tessa violet

you saw me clear as glass // i thought you bold as brass // never knew how lovely love could be

wish you were gay - claud

i wish you were gay so you could just hold me // call me your babe instead of your homie

heather - conan gray

why would you ever kiss me // i’m not even half as pretty // you gave her sweater, it’s just polyester // but you like her better // i wish i were heather 

jason - bonnie parker

jason, i’ll be cheering for you as you win the big game // i look to you with glassy eyes as you rejoice in the fame // jason, why so sad? it’s as if we are one in the same // watch those pretty eyes roll back, i left after you came

i kissed a boy - jupither

i kissed a boy just to try it // i hope my girlfriend don’t mind it

first time he kissed a boy - kadie elder

feeling stuck // set him free // out of luck // on his knees // first time he kissed a boy

i don’t dance - high school musical 2

i just. i dont have lyrics for this one just watch the scene again and tell me i’m wrong. i dare you.

something after all - starry

i’ve spent years building up walls, playing it safe // standing in line when i should run // run for my life // before it’s gone // you’ve turned my world around // and no, it wasn’t a mistake

get this right (outtake) - frozen 

i wanna make you swoon, baby // i wanna rock you with my righteous romance

get used to it - ricky montgomery

used to go to university // used to be the head of varsity // used to be inside this box with everyone noticin’ me // i used to leave the evenin’ feelin’ right // i’ll be with you each and every night

ordinary - joriah kwame & allie grace

and what’s the point of falling when i know i’m only stalling // cause i have to go back home // where i’m just one in the herd, tripping over my words // trying hard to go with the grain

honeydew - small talks

you’re an endless summer and i’m a winter you don’t like // you see my early sunsets and i see your shine // but every time we get too close

stupid for you - waterparks 

the best is hard to grip when everybody wants you // and everybody wants you // you’re playin’ ring round my head // i’ll wear you like a halo // you’re a symphony, i’m just a sour note 

teenager in love - neon trees 

there was a point of no return // and i never looked back til i was holding your hand // and i’m socially absurd // but who cares

god in jeans - ryan beatty

god is real, he was sleeping in my bed last night // we were naked with the radio on // played him my favourite song 

venus as a boy - bjork

he believes in a beauty // he’s venus as a boy

house a habit - we are the guests 

and tell me all your secrets // i’ll tell you what i know // just bare with me tomorrow

washing machine heart - mitski

baby, though i’ve closed my eyes // i know who you pretend i am

kissaphobic - make out monday 

 your fingers are quivering // except when you’re shivering // i wanna hold your hand

hot - avril lavigne

and i can make you say everything // that you’ve never said // and i will let you do anything // that you’ve never said

still into you - paramore

it’s not a walk in the park to love each other // but when our fingers interlock // can’t deny, can’t deny you’re worth it

backseat serenade - all time low 

backseat serenade, dizzy hurricane // god, i’m sick of sleeping alone // you’re salty like a summer day

[angelguk]

this prompt: jock!jaykay and namjoon running into each other at a party or sth and namjoon being like ‘you finally grow a pair and ask oc out yet?’ and jks just like 😧 and joons like ‘seriously dude? 😑 i’ve been waiting for you to ask her out since before i even dated her’. but make it more angst!!! namjoon is kind of an asshole here. there’s smoking, drinking and jk getting a brief lapdance. oc is a LIAR. jaykay deep in his feels tbh. roughly 1.5k. listen to all i wanted by paramore

Jeongguk's crossed too many paths with people during his life to remember every face his eyes have ever seen. But there’s one he will never forget, no matter how hard he tries to scrub the memory from his brain, ignore the muted forlorn twang in his heart, the low ache that ebbs from the base of his skull. It sparks up again despite years of never seeing the individual who caused the problem. How could he forget those broad shoulders? The sharp analytic eyes. The man whom you’d attached yourself too for a good chunk of your joint high school careers. It surprises him, honestly, because Jeongguk’s got a girl grinding on his lap but his eyes are locked on Namjoon, ears trailing after the sound of his deep laugh instead of the sweet nothings Nayeon (or Naeun, or Nayoung — he can’t fucking remember) is murmuring into the hollow of his neck.

For one, he’s fucked out of his mind. Taehyung probably laced the joint; he liked doing that shit even when it messed up Jeongguk’s trip. He should have known not to take a hit, but he was already ten shots in and nothing sounded better than smoke in his lungs. Maybe not nothing. This girl feels good in his hands, responds to the lightest of his touches, moans in his ear like she wants him to fuck her.

He could. He has before. Probably. She knows exactly where to nip his neck for this to have not been a repeat hook-up. But in the haze of the low living room lights and the spinning headiness of the drinks he’d downed, he couldn’t make out her face. It’d shift and twist and turn into an image that almost makes him want to cry because, at some angles, when the shadows form right, he thinks he can see your face. It could be you in his lap, you whimpering whenever your crotches aligned just right, you clinging to him like the sun hangs onto the evening sky.

But it’s not.

And for some unfathomable reason, Jeongguk’s ruined mind recognises that sucks.

Because it should be you.

He doesn’t know how he gets that girl off. Probably some lie that he needed to pee. In reality, he needed to breathe, because those thoughts surface with malicious intent, purposefully drawing him closer to deep dangerous waters. If he’s not careful he could easily drown, suffocated by desires he can’t even string together into a comprehensible sentence.

The night air hits sharp, seeping through his loose shirt. It grounds him enough for his steps to stabilise, feet following a slow trudge to the edge of the balcony. He doesn’t even know whose house this is. Somebody he’s probably never met honestly. But he wanted you to come. Everyone was coming out tonight. Even your elusive roommate Sohee was somewhere in some bathroom with a head between her thighs. You probably are doing that too, to be far. Even the name evokes bile from his throat, bitter and violent, full of jealousy he’d never really learnt to contain.

Lee Eunwoo. A graphic design major. Slightly taller than Jeongguk (only when Jeongguk is having a bad day) and somehow he can make you giggle like he’s getting paid for it.

You’d mentioned it so softly that Jeongguk didn’t even hear it at first. But then your cheeks had heated up, that stupid sparkle melting through your gaze. You wanted to spend the night with him, take advantage of an empty apartment, perhaps watch a movie or two.

It's obvious that you were going to sleep with him. The thought itself irked something visceral inside of Jeongguk. But he’d given you an easy smile, laughed at the modesty of your demeanour and wished you well with a tight hug. The same low buzzing of frustration that he got when you were with Namjoon was already waning through his system as he completed his sets at the gym with more force than needed.

Which is why he can’t help but release a bitter laugh into the night. Ironically, Namjoon was here while you were getting your back blown out by another idiotic guy Jeongguk did not like.

“What’s so funny?”

He can’t spin around to face him, Jeongguk knows he’ll throw up if he does. But he can’t forget a timbre like that. Not when you nearly wrote a poem about how wonderful Kim Namjoon’s voice was. A poem which you recited to Jeongguk before he begged you to rip it to shreds and never talk about again.

(Subconsciously Jeongguk had adopted a deeper voice whenever he talked to you since then. It came out more when he was drunk, but it’s not like you paid any attention anyway).

“Nothing,” he returns. He hopes Namjoon gets the hint and goes away. The bastard joins him on the balcony instead.

“No, seriously, what’s funny? You look like you’ve got a lot going on in your head.” Namjoon was always so concerned in talking about emotions and putting your feelings into words. It’s one of the reasons why you loved him and probably reason one thousand why Jeongguk hated him.

“Hello to you too, Kim Namjoon. Don’t you think we should catch up on the pleasantries before you start psychoanalysing me?” He retorts, forcing his gaze onto the other man. Namjoon looks good; golden skin, broad shoulders and his hair cropped short. There’s an ease to him that Jeongguk could never replicate no matter how hard he tried. Perhaps that’s what happens when you’re born sure of yourself. Like Namjoon was.

The laugh he receives is empty. Namjoon is busy rifling through his pockets, fingers emerging with a joint and a lighter. “Nice to see you too, Jeon. Didn’t think I’d ever bump into you after high school but the universe works in mysterious ways, doesn’t it?” The jay slips between his lips, followed by a swift flick of the lighter before a deep inhale that Jeongguk swears he feels in his lungs. The smoke floats out pretty, fading into wisps of nothing but grey as the breeze sweeps it away. Namjoon offers it cordially, a simple raise of his defined eyebrows and even though Jeongguk’s legs are melting through the floor he can’t say no.

“You sure?” The doubt tinting his tone makes him take it. His overestimation in his maintenance capabilities leads to a rather rough inhale, and an even worse hacking cough that he wants to be mortified at because Namjoon fucking laughs. But he can’t when the world feels like air in his fingertips, slowly slipping away. Almost like you feel at times. 

“You should stop taking the shit Taehyung rolls. I don’t even know what he slips in there but last time I smoked with him I thought I was on Mars.”

“Taehyung offers, I never ask.”

“You never ask for anything to be frank.”

“What?”

“You heard me,” Namjoon returns, smoke falling from his lips.

“Yeah, I fucking did. I was giving you the chance to pretend you didn’t say it.” Jeongguk’s all in his space in an instant, the itch to smash Namjoon’s face tingling beneath his skin. Namjoon doesn’t even back up, gracing Jeongguk with a quizzical look that leaves him bewildered. “You don’t fucking know me—"

“I do.” There’s a scoff that riles him up even further. Namjoon’s still incredibly unbothered as he talks. “You think being Y/N’s boyfriend I didn’t hear everything and anything about you? Jeongguk this! Jeongguk that! You know that’s the reason we broke up, right?”

That halts him, a lag in his brain as he attempts to process the words leaving Namjoon’s mouth. The older man just stares at him, the sigh that drifts in between them bordering on pity.

“She didn’t tell you that, did she? Y/N lies about a lot more things than you think, Jeon. Where is she by the way? I’ve seen all her friends but I haven’t seen her.”

“Why would you know her friends?” It’s a stupid question but in the jumble of his thoughts it’s the only thing his mind is capable of plucking out. A question that doesn’t leave him bare and vulnerable like the other one’s racing through his head.

“We don’t have each other blocked on everything. Sometimes we talk,” Namjoon supplies easily. And just like that Jeongguk crumbles. He’s not even aware of it but the first crack spears deep enough to leave the rest of him unstable, wavering as he falters away from Namjoon. You never told him any of this. As far as Jeongguk knew you ended the relationship hating him (a thought that briefly consoled Jeongguk if he’s being truthful). But apparently, you felt comfortable enough to share your life with the person Jeongguk thought hurt you the most.

“Man, fuck you.” It’s a release, to say it. Because honestly fuck Kim Namjoon. In the span of a few short sentences he’s tipped everything he’s ever been sure of upside-down, stomped on Jeongguk’s heart like it was bendable and ducked his head right into the ocean he was afraid of diving it, keeping it under until the water filled his lungs and Jeongguk ceased to function.

Namjoon shrugs, not even looking as Jeongguk stumbles back to the door. He needs to find you, ask how much of Namjoon’s words were true. He doesn’t care if Eunwoo is over he’ll kick him out if need be.

But then Namjoon opens his mouth one more time, the final nail in the coffin.

“You should have asked her out. I was waiting for you to it — she was probably waiting too.”

[simply-trash5]

Okayokayokay. So it’s time for some Band AU Bakusquad...specifically the BoomBoomBoy himself. Lets get into it....

Also remember that my requests are hella open. 

-So you and Mina are best friends. You met at college and have been inseparable ever since. So one night she asks you to go to a bar with her to see her best friend’s band play. She swears you will love them and it should be a fun time.

-So the day arrives and you get all cute and shit because duh. You guys go to the bar and it is SLAMMED. Its also kinda filthy and really hot because its summer so its a lot of sweaty bodies in one area. (Goddamn I miss life pre-covid. ANYWAY)

-So you ask Mina what they play and she tells you pop punk so in your lil poppunk heart youre like 0.0

-The guys walk to the “stage” if you could call it that and you just kinda give them the once over. There is a redhead playing a red bass, he is smiling the biggest smile you have ever seen. You see a lankyish guy with dark hair and a black guitar giving a sweet grin. The singer has blonde hair with a black streak and is downing a redbull. Then, you see him. He’s scowling and has messy ash blonde hair, has a sleeve of tattoos on one arm, and you can see he has black tunnel gauges in. He steps behind the green and orange spray painted drum set. So immediately you are like :3 cause thats your type. 

-So they start their set and they are playing a TON of poppunk covers. You and mina are pretty buzzed, just jumping and singing. The band is killing it and the crowd is losing their shit. You keep finding your attention being pulled to the guy behind the drum set. He plays with his eyes closed sometimes (and does that thing where he leans his head back, you know what I’m talking about) and despite his demeanor earlier he is smirking. Oh shit, did he just look at you????

-Okay they finish and head out of the back door. Mina grabs your hand and leads you outside to meet them. You can feel your nerves bubbling despite your buzz. All you can think about is drummer boy.

-So you’re outside and you meet them. Kiri and Sero immediately envelope you in a sweaty man hug. Denki high fives you and tells you that you look really good. (hes that guy, we know it) Bakugo, welllllllll he just kind of stares at you. He reaches in his pocket and grabs a pack of smokes and gives you a “tch”. So a blush creeps to your cheeks on top of that inebriated pink youve got. 

-So for the next couple of weeks you and Mina hang out with the guys at “practices” which is honestly just an excuse for them to hang out, bullshit around, and maybe play a few songs. 

-So this is kinda random but you notice that all of them have a butterfly tattoo over their heart, because who needs shirts right. You finally ask and Kiri says “we got it for our baby sister Eri.” Bakugo gives a little smirk at the mention of her name.

-One day at practice Mina lets your secret slip. “Y/N is a great singer Denki. You should hear her.” Denki is obviously intrigued and you are absolutely mortified. After a few beers and some pestering from Denki and Kiri you cave. 

-You take a walk to the mic and ask the guys if they know Misery Business. They say duh, but also look at you like--’theres no fuckin way’

-You take a breath as the guys start playing and then you start performing it like you are Hayley Williams herself. The guys are blown away, especially a certain drummer. (He secretly loves Paramore.)

- Denki leans over and yells to Mina “holy shit she’s good, also I think Bakugo might have creamed his pants.” Mina hits Denki but then looks back at Katsuki and he is doing this wide eyed surprised stare straight at you. 

-So you finish and guys envelope you in a sweaty hug (they’re sweaty guys okay and its summer and you’re in some shitty shed/garage.) Bakugo just continues to sit behind his set. His eyes are glued to you and he isn’t being shy about it. 

-The rest of the crew go make a beer/snack run and you walk over to the fridge to grab a water. You hear footsteps behind you but just assume it’s Bakugo coming to get a beer or something. That is until Bakugo comes up to you and backs you into the fridge. You are blushing HARD. He’s like “you like what you see princess?” You bite back “I could ask the same Katsuki”

-Cue pregnant silence where you two are making eyes, you know the ones.

-Next thing you know he has grabbed your waist with one hand and put the other by your head on the freezer door. You both kiss each other like you haven’t seen another human in years. He pulls back and looks at you. Your eyes are still closed and the flutter open to see him smirking at you. 

-That was the it all started for you two...now you follow them to every shitty bar they play and Denki always makes you sing one song with them.

I may or may not have projected a little bit but, oh well. I have been in pop-punk hell for the last week or so. I am a product of teenage years in the 2000s and a serious obsession with All Time Low, sue me. 

[pretend-writer]

Still Into You (Diego Hargreeves x reader)

Requested

Summary: Y/N and Diego couldn’t hide their feelings as The Hargreeves reveal their love for each other. 

Pairing: Diego Hargreeves x reader

Title Reference: Still Into You x Paramore

Word Count: 2k words

Warning: swearing, mention of sex, fluffffff

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Y/N's pov;

I didn't even know when my feelings started to change. It was a surprise when I realized how I felt about Diego.

While growing up around the Hargreeves, I barely saw him as a friend. I don't even think we really hung out a lot as kids. He loved picking on me, spelling "k-i-s-s-i-n-g" whenever Klaus and I walked by, mainly because he knew my mini crush I had for his brother.

He was just someone that annoyed the hell out of me, even thought I knew it was a joke. I would tend to let him be and hang out with Klaus, Allison and Vanya instead.

But then of course my heart started saying otherwise. As we got into our early twenties, he wasn't the obnoxious Diego that he used to be. He was sweet, caring, even when out of his way to make sure I was doing okay.

All of that cute and selfless things he did made me change my mind about him.

And now that I visit the Hargreeves home so often, Diego was the first person I looked forward to seeing when I set foot at the door.

'Y/N, what-' I quickly turned around as I heard Klaus whispering from behind me. 'Are you staring at my brother?'

My eyes widened, grabbing Klaus' hand and rushing to the other side of the hallway. He continued to chuckle, 'Y/N! You were staring at him shirtless working out in his roo-'

'No, I fucking wasn't!' I denied, I've only told Vanya about how I felt about Diego. I did not trust anyone to keep my secret, I knew that somehow some way, they would all blurt it out.

'Well you're drooling right here.' He pointed at my chin as I immediately rolled my eyes and hit him on the chest.

Klaus smiled, 'You know it's obvious right?'

'I don't know what you're talking about.' Klaus knew me too well, I knew that. He has been my best friend for as long as I can remember but I was hoping that if I denied it, soon enough he'll start believing me.

'Okaaay but if you don't tell him how you feel, someone is going to take him away.'

'What makes you think that he'll even like me back.'

Klaus grinned widely, 'So you do like him!!'

'I never said that, Klaus.'

'You just said "like me back" that impl-'

'Sh! Just stop, stop!'

He laughed, watching me squirm and turning red from embarrassment. Vanya and I kept it a secret for so long, Klaus was going to spread it around like wild fire.

✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤

Diego's pov;

My workout was distracted by random mumbling that I heard from outside my room. By the sound of their voices, I instantly knew it was Klaus and Y/N.

The first reaction was to roll my eyes; Her and Klaus have been close friends since we were kids, it didn't help that I was so jealous. I felt that I was in a competition for Y/N's attention with my brother my whole life, it was childish.

My focus shifted and I wasn't in the mood to workout anymore. Putting all my workout equipment away to the back of my room, I sat on my chair to check on my phone. Klaus and Y/N's voices slowly faded away downstairs as I was scrolling down my social media.

Sighing, I stared at the picture that was recently taken on my phone; Y/N and I took a selfie when we got drunk a few weeks ago. That night was when I genuinely felt happy in a long time, it was when I realized I really loved her.

Yeah, I had a crush on her since I've met her but I grew up thinking it was something I'll get over as I got older.

Turns out I was wrong.

The more I spent time with her, it made me realize that I needed her in my life. All my life she was the person that helped me push through, the one person I could count on despite our weird love-hate friendship we had as a child.

'Boo!' Allison yelled from my door, scaring me as I jumped off my chair a little. The phone nearly fell off my hand, I grabbed it and shoved it in my pocket.

'Damn Allison, you nearly gave me a heart attack.'

She laughed, opening the door wider and leaning on the door frame with her arms crossed. 'You seemed really intense, you okay?'

'Ah, yeah. Yeah.' I took my phone out of my pocket, checked the screen and turned it back off. I was just glad I didn't drop my phone when she scared me, imagining Allison's reaction when she finds out about my feelings for Y/N terrified me.

Allison squinted, suspecting that something was up with me. 'You sound panicky.'

'Maybe because you tried to kill me.'

'You're such a drama queen.' She chuckled, 'What's on your phone that's making you squirm?'

'Nothing.' I huffed, knowing how pushy she can be. 'Mind your business.'

Allison walked over to me with her hands out, 'Come on, let me see. If it's nothing, it won't be a bother right?'

'You're always a bother.'

'So are you. So can I see?'

'No.'

She crossed her arms again, 'You know I can rumor you to show me right?'

'I would like to believe that you won't stoop so low just to get on my phone.'

'It's like you don't know me, Diego.'

I rolled my eyes, hopping into my bed with my back against her. 'Just leave me alone, geez.'

It got quiet all of the sudden but I knew Allison didn't leave the room. I still felt her presence behind me and I didn't hear the door shut either, not that my siblings cared enough to shut the door behind them.

Intrigued on what was keeping Allison so quiet, I turned around to find her on my phone. I must of dropped it when I got into bed.

Jumping out my bed, I quickly snatching my phone back. 'You're lucky you're my sister or I would've thrown a knife into your hand.'

'That's a really cute picture, Diego.' She ignored me, 'You know you can get pictures printed out.'

'Shut up.'

'I'll get a framed picture for your birthday.'

'And I guess I'll throw a knife at you in return for your birthday.'

Allison brows raised, I could tell she was holding in a laugh. At this point, I didn't know why she was still in my room. 'Diego, were you trying to hide the fact that you love Y/N? Because it's so obvious that you do.'

'I took a picture with her, what makes you think I love her?'

'Dude, you use to pick on her all the time when we were little. If that doesn't already prove it, you give her this adorable stare whenever she's around you.'

Biting my lip, I placed my hands on my hips. I could feel my cheeks feeling warm, hoping it wasn't turning red.

'Plus the angry glare you have whenever Klaus and Y/N are together is a dead giveaway too.'

'Okay, okay I get it.'

'And then whe-'

With my hands over my ears, I walked out my room to get away from Allison. 'Ahhh, I can't hear you!'

Of course she kept following me down the hall then to the staircase. Even when we were downstairs, she continued to bug me.

Five looked at us and laughed, 'What is it now that you two are blabbing about?'

I saw everyone sitting in the living room, including Y/N and I didn't want to deal with the embarrassment for today. 'Allison, you say anything I swear you'll see the knife flying across the room before you can say "sorry, Diego". I'm serious.'

'You don't have to worry, I'm not gonna say anything.'

Luther's eyes widened, pointing at Allison. 'It's about his crush for Y/N isn't it?'

My head immediately turned to Luther, I didn't know whether to tackle him or just throw a knife but I decided to calm down. Y/N was standing right there and I had to pretend that I didn't know what the fuck he was saying. If she found out, I was screwed.

‘You guys lost your damn minds.’ I commented, acting as if I didn’t know what they were talking about. But the biggest question was, how did Luther out everyone knew about this?

Klaus laughed out loud, to a point where he was clapping his hands and holding his stomach. ‘Diego. Oh Diego, you numbskull.’

‘What did you just call me?’

‘You’re a numbskull and so is Y/N.’ Klaus grinned widely, ‘You two realize the love you guys have for each other is so obvious that even dad can see you guys from the grave?’

My eyes didn’t leave Klaus, Y/N was sitting next to him but I didn’t have the guts to look her in her eyes. I felt like Klaus was fucking with me, trying to mock me and make fun of the “so obvious” crush I had for her since I was a kid.

‘So are you guys just going to stand there?’ Five said in a sarcastic tone, probably enjoying this weird and awkward moment.

‘You two need to get a move on, catch up with loss time.’ Klaus smiled, ‘I did the hard part for you two. Go upstairs and fu-’

Vanya shook her head, ‘Klaus. Wow, language.’

‘Exactly. Thank you for the graphic information.’ Y/N looked up me. ‘Can I talk to you in private, Diego?’

‘Ah, yeah.’ I replied, scratching my head as I felt a little shy.

As Y/N led me back to the staircase, I can hear Five and Klaus whispering loudly about us. Rolling my eyes, I continued to follow her up the stairs then into my room.

I closed the door behind me, biting my lip and staying quiet. I already knew that she was going to start blabbing about her feelings toward, Klaus; Even when he said that Y/N had loved me, I still didn’t believe it.

‘Was that all true? What Luther and Klaus had said?’ She broke the silence between us, I can feel her stare but I still couldn’t seem to make eye contact with her.

Slowly I nodded, knowing that I couldn’t hide it anymore. There was no point in trying to hide it since apparently, everyone had known about this and never tried to discuss it with me.

Still, I couldn’t look up at her as I felt my cheeks feeling warm. I was always nervous around her but I’ve never been this scared where I felt as though my heart was going to pop out of my chest.

Unexpectedly Y/N pulled me in, pressing her lips against mine. While I was confused since I believed that Klaus and Y/N had something going on between them, I felt like the happiest man in the whole planet. I guess that whatever they had just said was true.

“Thank you, Klaus” I thought to myself as I kissed her back. I’ve wanted to kiss her for so long, I wished that I had told her sooner.

‘So, you want to catch up?’ she said as she pulled away. This was another turn of event that I would of never expected. ‘Klaus’ words not mine.’

Licking my lips, I pulled her into my arms and hummed. Now that I knew that she loved me back, I didn’t know how to act. All I knew was I didn’t want her to leave my side, ever.

Grabbing her hand and leading her onto my bed, I chuckled. ‘I mean, they’re already expecting us to so why not? Pleasing the audience, if you will.’

She laughed as she sat on my stomach, ‘What happened to the shy Diego that was downstairs two minutes ago?’

‘He has a girlfriend now.’

Y/N leaned in, cupping my cheeks as she smirked. ‘I love the sound of that.’

[nostalgiahan]

Still Into You

genre: songfic, fluff, smut

pairing: graffiti artist!changbin x afab!reader (gender-neutral language)

word count: 2k

warnings: drug use (cannabis,) trespassing, oral sex (f,) car sex, little dialogue, changbin and reader run from the cops lol

a/n: i was listening to still into you by paramore and this just kinda. came into existence. it’s also very song focused so if you’ve never listened to 2000s alt rock... i’m sorry lmao. the sugarmill in the story is also a real place that my friends and i used to visit and smoke take pictures at, although the cops never found us there haha. anyways enjoy folks.

Your nails had been tapping on the windowsill enough to wear them down to nubs by the time Changbin pulled up in front of your house. When his beat up Subaru pulled up next to the curb, you just about jumped out of your skin from excitement. Today was your fourth anniversary, as well as Valentine’s Day, and the adrenaline rushing through your blood was a sign that you were more than looking forward to whatever fun plans he had up his sleeve.

Compared to most couples on Valentine’s day, your outfit was pretty plain and not at all glamorous. Practical boots, jeans, an old band hoodie and Changbin’s dark green parka were your clothes of choice, but you knew that your boyfriend wasn’t going to take you to some fancy restaurant. No, you two were going adventuring.

As soon as you hop in the passenger seat of the car, shoving a couple of receipts into the foot well, Changbin reaches into his hoodie pocket and gives you a card. It’s crude, made of a folded sheet of printer paper and hastily scribbled on in pen but it’s very fitting for him.

“You better enjoy the card,” he says with a smirk, “because it came to me in a dream. This is pure, undiluted Changbin, packaged for your enjoyment and convenience.”

Giggling, you open the card. Inside is a barely legible “i love you so much y/n” surrounded by hearts, and in the corner is a drawing of a cow dressed in a lab coat and holding a beaker labeled “Moorie Curie.” It’s perfect, but what else did you expect from him?

“Happy anniversary, my love.” When you look up at Changbin, he has the widest smile on his face, cheeks dotted with flecks of paint and eyes crinkled up into little crescents. He’s dressed similarly to you, hair sitting in a pile on top of his head, clearly not having been paid attention to before leaving the house. It doesn’t matter, though, since the both of you will be wearing hoods over your heads anyways. You lean over the center console to give him a quick kiss, although it takes a couple of tries to get his lips since you’re both smiling so hard.

Changbin kicks his old car into gear as he sets off towards his destination. He’s explaining where you’re going, but you can barely hear him over the car speakers blasting Simple Plan and Green Day.

“So yeah, it’s this sugarmill that caught on fire in, like, 1910, and they never renovated it. There’s a bunch of cool abandoned shit around there, too. I think there’s, like, three fucked up couches.”

As you listen to him talk, you stick your fingers through the gap at the top of the side window. It’s permanently cracked open like that, and you have vivid memories of trying to throw cigarette butts through the gap when the two of you were bored.

After a while of listening to pop punk and playing with Changbin’s fingers over the gear shift, you arrive at your destination. Several charred brick buildings sit in the middle of a field, dead trees framing an open area in the center where someone has set up some logs and rocks to form a makeshift circle. Your boyfriend’s eyes scan the landscape, looking for his next canvas. Eventually, he tugs your arm and leads you towards one of the buildings, smiling back at you. “C’mon, let’s go explore this place.”

The two of you wander for a while, over rickety walkways and up staircases, taking pictures with your Polaroid and holding hands the whole time. Eventually, Changbin finds a stretch of wall big enough to start his work. Setting his duffel bag on the ground, he beckons you over and crouches down, inviting you to hop onto his back.

He pulls out a can of white spray paint, shaking it and popping the cap with his thumb. As he starts to paint, making large, sweeping motions with his arms, you really wished he had worn something sleeveless, however impractical. After lighting a slightly crushed joint you’d fished out of your pocket, you nestled your nose into his shoulder, holding the joint up to Changbin’s lips. He takes a few pulls as he works, the previously bland wall turning into a beautiful blend of blues, purples, and whites. It’s always fascinating to see how he works, seemingly not thinking before laying down a line of paint, yet each stroke seems to perfectly fit in with the others.

As he’s switching colors, Changbin lets you off his back, settling his hands on your sides. He stares at you for a bit, trying to study every bit of your face that isn’t covered by the oversized hood of his jacket. After a while, he smiles, pulling you close and kissing your forehead. Changbin always called you his muse, but you never expected him to take it as literally as he did, often staring at you or asking unrelated questions when he was stuck with a piece. He sways gently back and forth, pressing little kisses to your head, as Good Charlotte emanates from the tiny phone speaker in his back pocket. Occasionally, he’ll pull back just a tiny bit to really study your face, kissing you softly and muttering something along the lines of “i really can’t believe how fucking incredible you are” or “i love you so much it’s unreal.”

It’s not until a few more songs have ended that he pulls away, inviting you back onto his back as you light another joint. The piece is almost done, the tag “SPEARB” painted in blobby letters, shining artificially. All he has left is the outline, but his work is cut short when you hear the faint sound of sirens approaching and the light creeping in from the broken windows flashes a faint red and blue.

What happens next is like clockwork. You hop off of Changbin’s back, putting out the joint on the wall and throwing it into his duffel bag along with the other cans of paint he’s left out. What you’re supposed to do next is grab the bag and run, but Changbin is trying his best to finish a really specific detail and the more time he has that can in his hand, the less time you guys have to get the fuck out. After what seems like an eternity of whisper-yelling and (gently) stomping your foot at him, he caps the can and throws it into the bag. Finally, the two of you are off. As he’s picking up the bag, however, you notice what he was taking so long to finish. In tiny lettering, in the bottom corner of the piece, 4 words. “fuck cops” on one line, and “for y/n” on another.

As the two of you clamber over wooden planks and piping, pulling your hoods over your heads and your masks over your faces to hide your identities, Changbin grabs your hand and squeezes. He lets go almost as quickly as he grabbed it but the sentiment is still there; i’m here, i’m gonna keep us safe. It’s a welcome sentiment when shouts of “police,” and “show yourselves” echo through the abandoned hall.

Fifteen minutes of running and one chain link fence climb later, you’re back at the car, cops nowhere in sight. You’re panting heavily as you throw off the parka and throw it into the backseat, and Changbin doesn’t look any better as he’s gulping water and fanning his face. Right as you’re about to climb in, he grabs your arm and spins you so you’re pressed between him and the car, holding your cheeks in his hands and grinning at you.

“God. Fuck. Wow. You’re unreal. I love you so much.”

You’re unable to do anything but nod. The two of you are still breathless and in that moment you realize that’s what your love was like. In the four years of you dating, your love never went stale, you never settled into a routine. You were always doing new things, like going on spur of the moment road trips or fucking around at playgrounds in the early hours of the morning. You never thought about the future, just did your best to enjoy your time in the present and bask in the glow of each other’s affection. You expected that after such a long time together you’d at least feel a little duller, but everything still feels as fresh and new as when you were teenagers and sneaking out to make out on park benches when no one was looking.

As you’re lost in thought, Changbin pulls you impossibly closer and presses his lips to yours, hard. Music is still playing from his phone as the kiss becomes more heated, and you make sure to add 1985 by Bowling for Soup to your “running from the cops” playlist later. Almost every memory you have with Changbin is attached to a song, and this one is no exception.

Changbin pulls away to wrench open the back seat door, guiding you to sit and kneeling on the dirty floor. He heaves the duffel bag on the seat next to you and you dig through it, searching for the joint you threw into it earlier. Once you’ve gotten to My Own Worst Enemy, you’ve lit it and Changbin has gotten your jeans halfway down your legs and your thighs over his shoulders.

Your boyfriend wastes no time in burying his face in your heat, licking hot stripes up and down and moaning loudly into your core. He pulls away to rest his head on your thigh and take a few puffs of the joint, and in that moment you remember your Polaroid exists and manage to snap a picture of him blowing out smoke, with your hand in his hair and his face squished between your legs.

Changbin pays it no mind and gets straight back to work, sucking on your clit and easing his tongue into your hole. Your grip on his hair tightens and you arch into his mouth, fucking yourself back on his tongue. Picking up on this, he hooks his arms under your thighs and pulls your towards him, close enough that you’re afraid he’s going to suffocate himself trying to pleasure you.

It’s hot and sticky and perfect, and the atmosphere combined with the weed and the fact that Seo fucking Changbin is eating you out is too much for you and you cum all over his tongue, which eagerly laps up your release, taking long, languid strokes to make sure he gets every drop. As you come down, Changbin is stroking your thighs and sucking hickeys into the soft flesh, and you register that Misery Business needs to be added to your “dirty car sex” playlist.

After basking in the yellow glow of the car’s overhead light and the thrilling afterglow of just having done something you shouldn’t have for a while, lazily finishing off the rest of your joint, the two of you get your things in order and begin the journey to Changbin’s apartment, speeding down the highway with the windows cracked the whole way. He carries you into the building like he always does, setting you down gently on the couch before heading off to the kitchen so you can make some blueberry muffins together. You do, and they’re terrible, so you heat up leftovers instead and watch reruns of old James Bond movies, cuddling on the couch. The night ends with Chasing Cars and you laying on Changbin’s chest, naked and sweaty and anticipating lots of aches in the morning, whispering tiny i love yous into each others’ skin and it’s perfect. But everything is always perfect with him. What else could you possibly expect?

please let me know if you guys enjoyed this!! feel free to send an ask, i always love receiving them🤌🏻🤌🏻

[lambourngb]

This Hard Journey

Fic prompt: “There’s something you should know…” Michael Guerin Day 2. This picks up after yesterday’s “This Hard Life” - a part of interconnected ficlets of an AU after the shed, where Alex doesn’t join the Air Force. Mentions of Malex and an Alex/Other here. Finished on ao3 here.

***

He finally got a dog, was all that Michael could think as he sat outside of the house that matched the address Max pulled from the DMV.  They had always wanted to get a dog together, but with pet deposits and the tight budget for rent and food, that had always been a non-starter for them. Not anymore.

The quiet shaded street just off of the Buchanan Arts District was lined with old-style Craftsman homes among the peppered in new, renovated sprawling McMansions born of the house flipping obsession during the real estate boom. New construction sprouting between old, mature trees, juxtaposing progress with tradition.

Alex had chosen one of the older homes, untouched by the remodeling fad with a large fenced in yard filling the property footprint, and a dog house that mimicked the main house in style. Two solid years of song-writing had rewarded Alex with financial security, and of course, after three years living in cramped efficiency apartments and noisy neighbors with Michael, the first thing Alex would want again was a house. The roots of his upper middle class childhood were never far away.

Pressing his forehead against the steering wheel, Michael worked to gather the courage that kept him propelled down the over 1,100 miles from Roswell to Nashville. He had made it here, the least he could do was knock on the door instead of freaking out over the fact that Alex had a house with a mortgage while all Michael could muster in the two years since was buying a bank-possessed Airstream.

At least it was better than sleeping rough in his truck again, something he had done when he fell behind on the rent after Alex had left.

Michael took a deep steadying breath and pushed himself out of his truck. The spans of sidewalk suddenly seemed longer than I-40 through Oklahoma. Another deep breath, the irony of borrowing Alex’s self-soothing habit not lost on Michael at all, he tucked his left hand into a pocket to hide the old damage and knocked firmly on the front door.

There was a long silence extended, shoving anticipation into chagrin as Michael turned his head to peek at the tiny side-carport, confirming there was a car there. A loud, chorus of deep barks picked up from within the house. The dog sounded big, but none of that registered as he picked up Alex’s voice, muffled and indistinct.

“-calm down, buddy. Stay- no, stay- It’s probably Daddy’s new speakers arriving-”

After two and half days of driving, Michael had perfected his speech to Alex. It hit every open wound between them, from the fact he was sorry he hadn’t gone with him, to the weak but true explanation that he wasn’t ready then, but he was now. Then finally the big dice throw, the gamble of everything, that every city needed a good mechanic, Nashville was no different, it was no pressure- but maybe? Maybe they could start over?

The door swung open, and like a bag of spilled marbles, all of Michael’s words scattered away from him.

“Michael?” Alex’s polite smile for an expected delivery dropped into disbelieving shock. He did a comical double take, looking back into the house, then to Michael, then over Michael’s shoulder. The classic Chevy truck parked on the street chased away the shock. “Jesus Christ, it really is you.”

“Alex.” Michael swallowed, his eloquence gone. “You look good.”

They had had three years together, and during that time Michael had seen so many different versions of Alex Manes. He had seen Alex tired, dark circles shading his eyes more consistently than eyeliner with an off-kilter alien antennae from the Crashdown. He had seen Alex resolute, using his shoulders to impart a warning in his black clad Wild Pony shirt to any drunk who dared to give him a hard time. He had seen Alex awkward, as he helped Michael with his chores at the Foster’s ranch when it came to cleaning out a cow pen or pulling the twine efficiently off baled hay. He had seen Alex ashamed, as Michael patiently explained during their first grocery store visit that the EBT card only covered certain items.

This Alex was new. Clean, well-rested, skin clear and not tight on his cheekbones from lean meals or bloated from cheap food. An earring shined from his ear, he was dressed in a soft v-neck shirt and artfully cut frayed jeans. Good was an understatement.

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m here- I’m here because Isobel got married, and um, she wanted to invite you, but I talked her out of it. I’m sorry. I mean for that, but also for like, everything. Not following you here was something I regretted every day since, but I thought- I thought I had to stay back then, but I don’t anymore- and there’s something you should know-” 

“Babe? Is that our new speakers at the door?” A new voice called out, cutting off the word vomit that was spilling from Michael’s mouth beyond his control.

A male voice.

The wince and apology on Alex’s face told Michael everything he needed to know. Well. He probably should have seen that coming. Only Alex’s reaching out quickly to grab his hand as he turned away stopped him from bolting from the house.

“No, not our speakers, but an old friend from back home is here-” Alex called back, before turning back to make deliberate eye contact with Michael. “He wanted to stop by to say hello.”

A tall well-built black man came into view, holding a squirming pit bull in his arms, walked toward them both with a bright welcoming smile, “A friend from Roswell? An actual flesh and blood human who knows you? I was starting to think you were an alien, Alex.”

“Just because you’re related to half of Nashville and went to school with the other half, Dennis, doesn’t mean I sprouted from a pod-” Alex shot back playfully, clearly picking up a well-worn argument. 

Like a couple. A real couple. With a house and a dog. Michael licked his dry lips, forcing his muscles upward, they probably had retirement accounts. In two years Alex had built something more secure than he had in the three years in Roswell.

“Well any friend of yours, Alex, is one of mine,” Dennis greeted, turning his head to avoid an excited dog kiss before transferring the bundle of fur into Alex’s arms in a fluid movement of trust. “I’m Dennis, welcome to Nashville, um-?” he prompted, extending his left hand to Michael.

“Michael Guerin,” he answered politely, before Michael lifted his left hand awkwardly from his pocket and offered his right in return. His name didn’t alter the warm smile on Dennis’s face. Ah. So he must be a nameless ex for Alex then. Swallowing hard, Michael continued, this time a little meanly, “this hand doesn’t shake so well after I got on the wrong side of a hammer, sorry. But good to meet you.”

The stutter of the clumsy interaction hid Alex’s wince and flash of pain of the reminder. 

Feeling no joy from that, Michael picked up the conversation lightly, “I’m a friend from high school. Been doing some transport work, and a job sent me here to pick up a car to drive back to Roswell, so I thought I might stop in and see what the famous Alex Manes is up to…”

“I’m not famous, I just write the words,” Alex protested quietly, before backing away from the doorway. “We were just about to have lunch, if you want to stay-”

“He’s famous, don’t listen to him,” Dennis interjected proudly. “Did you hear that new song from Paramore? Alex wrote that.”

“Oh I know, I have all the singles Alex wrote,” Michael smiled, looking around the house and at the couple with another deep breath. “I’m his biggest fan, I think. But um, thank you, I can’t stay, I gotta hit the road back to-” he started to say home, but that hadn’t been true for a long time. “Back to Roswell.”

*** 

Hours later with his heart heavy, Michael checked into his room at the Super 8. Normally the expense would have bothered him, but after his day, he figured he was entitled to a little bit of spoiling. And if it was sad that plain wrapped soaps and tiny shampoo bottles constituted spoiling, well, he was content with that.

The clunky black case of his small portable DVD player was propped open on the hotel bed. It was a hand-me-down as technology and electronic gadgets moved into smoother, more versatile means. For him, it was perfect to watch a borrowed DVD in his Airstream since he lacked cable.

With the entire contents of a motel conditioner in his hair, Michael started the paused video file. The shaky dark footage started playing, the sound crackling with amateur hands, before the clear, strong voice of Alex Manes filled the air. 

It was probably pathetic to watch this cribbed footage from YouTube, but the romanticism that fueled his journey down 1-40 was also the same sentiment that preserved this moment in amber for Michael. Pulling open his old notebook from high school, he let Alex’s voice singing about love and loss carry him through the calculations of point atmospheric entry and the parallax distance of habitable stars.

It would be a hard journey, but Michael didn’t know any other kind at this point. Roswell wasn’t his home. Nashville wasn’t going to be home either, but the universe was ever-expanding, surely there was a place for Michael?

[spaceskam]

here you go @bisexualalienblast 😘

"If you leave me alone, I will never forgive you."

"I'll be right back!"

Alex glared at Liz as she disappeared into the sea of frat boys with not enough clothing and too much alcohol, each one of them dripping in sweat and trying to attach to the side of any breathing woman they spotted. He didn't want to be here. In fact, he explicitly said at orientation that he would never be caught dead at a frat party. Then Liz met a boy and now he was here in hopes this boy would notice her.

And now he had and Alex was left alone.

With a huff, he pulled his headphones over his ears and started to scroll for something that could efficiently block out the noise of utter chaos. He'd only been there an hour and he'd already seen a guy fall off a table, heard at least one girl crying, and seen more sloppy make-out session than his eyes cared for. Why the hell did people willingly sign up for this?

Alex was roughly a minute into a Paramore album when a hand clapped onto his shoulder. He moved away instinctually, looking at the owner of the hand like they'd lost their fucking mind touching a stranger. His irritation didn't fade when he came face to face with a smiley, shirtless guy with a beer bottle taped to his hand and unruly curls.

"Sup, bro?" he said.

"I'm not your bro," Alex scoffed, "Weren't you ever taught not to touch strangers?"

"I tried just talking, bro, but you couldn't hear me!" he countered, voice light and happy as if Alex's genuine annoyance was going straight over his head.

"Wearing headphones means don't talk to me, bro," Alex pointed out. The guy scrunched up his nose and laughed and, fuck, it was cute. Why did he have to be cute? Alex refused to find someone with a beer bottle taped to his hand cute.

"But I need a partner for beer pong!" he argued, "Come play!"

"I'm not playing beer pong," Alex told him, shaking his head, "Go find one of your friends."

"But I asked for you, bro!" he insisted.

Alex looked at him, hoping to channel a truly dead-eyed look so he'd see how uninterested he was. But why would that work?

"Bro, listen," he said, putting his not-beer-bottled hand on his shoulder, "You're my last hope at being the beer pong champion of all time in this house. I need a hot partner to boost moral. Please? I'll be your best friend."

Alex continued to glare, but clearly that wasn't an option. He grabbed his arm and started tugging him towards the kitchen. At this point, he figured he might as well since this guy seemed way too set at getting him to play. Maybe it would pass the time.

"Ay, Guerin!" a few too many guys in questionable states of undress cheered as they reached the table. Alex felt like he was about to have a moron induced aneurysm.

"No fair!" the guy on the other side of the table claimed. A pretty blonde stood at his side which Alex assumed was his beer pong partner. At least she looked like she was enjoying it. "You didn't say we could chose guys!"

"Not my fault your sense of hotness sucks," Guerin, apparently, shot back with laughter, "Now, I know I'm the hottest here, but I can't be two people and Alex is a fuckin' meal, so."

Before Alex even had time to unpack that this chaos-personified man knew his name, he was being handed a ping pong ball and all sorts of cheering began.

If someone would've told Alex hours prior that he'd be actually participating in a drinking game at a frat party, he would've laughed. Then suddenly, he was on his second round (they won the first), slightly tipsy, and actually enjoying himself. Alex, enjoying himself at a party. Who knew?

"Fuck!" Guerin yelled, still laughing as the other team sunk a ball into a cup. He picked it up and held it to Alex. "Drink up, bro!"

"I hate you," Alex told him, genuinely laughing as he tossed it back and put it aside. When he shot the next ball, it landed in one of their cups which left them with two and Alex and Guerin with six.

"Fuck yeah!" Guerin yelled, raising both his arms and not even caring when he spilled beer on himself. Alex laughed and shook his head, painfully fond of his beer bong partner after way too little time. He blamed it on the beer.

The other team sunk their next shot and Alex picked up the cup, mindlessly feeding it to Guerin who looked at him like he was a literal gift. He coped with that by laughing so hard he could barely breathe and had to take a second while Guerin shot anything, sinking it despite the giggles and alcohol shaking his system.

"How the fuck?!"

"Sorry, man," Guerin laughed, "Gotta impress the man, can't let you win."

And he didn't let him win. In fact, they won three rounds before they were ceremoniously announced beer pong champions. He wouldn't ever tell anyone about that title, but he felt proud of it in the moment nonetheless.

"Told you I needed you, bro," Guerin said once they escaped the table and went outside. Liz had texted him and said she wanted to leave in a few minutes since she still had homework. He just had to wait until she found the front door.

"Yeah, you're lucky I didn't tell you to fuck off like I wanted to," Alex said, voice light as he carefully started unwrapping the duct tape that was keeping the beer bottle in his hand. Guerin gave a big, wild smile.

"So lucky."

"So, I have a question, bro," Alex said, eyeing him slightly. He was clearly wasted beyond belief and probably wouldn't remember anything by the next morning. He didn't know if he should be upset by that or not. "How'd you know my name?"

Alex watched as his cheeks started turning redder (which was impressive since they were already red from his alcohol intake) and tried to focus on not hurting him when he took the duct tape off.

"You were in my trig class freshman year, sat two rows ahead of me," he admitted, wincing only a little when the tape tore at the hair on his hand, "Waited two whole years for you to come to a party so I could have an excuse to talk to you."

Alex sure as hell didn't know how to respond to that, so he didn't. Instead he just freed him from his beer trap and took a step away.

"You think I could, uh, I could get your number or something, bro?" Guerin requested, looking half asleep now that he'd sat down for more than a couple seconds. Alex debated it. What could it hurt? If he regretted it, he could just not respond.

"Sure, I guess," Alex agreed, "Where's your phone?"

Despite being drunk and sleepy, Guerin basically scrambled to find his phone that was in his impressively large pockets. Alex wondered if he wore those so he wouldn't lose his phone when he got this drunk. Instead of thinking about that, he typed in his number and saved it before giving it back.

"Alex, let's go," Liz said as she appeared in the doorway, lipstick smudged and hair noticably less pristine than when they got there. He decided not to comment on it.

"Don't fall asleep out here, bro," Alex told Guerin who just smiled sleepily and nodded.

"Bye, bro!" Guerin called after him as they walked away.

"Since when are you friends with Michael?" Liz asked in confusion.

Alex looked over his shoulder one last time and shrugged.

"Tonight, I guess."

[letters-from-eros]

Pairing: Jirou Kyouka x Fem!Reader

Form: Oneshot

Genre: Angst

Warnings/TW: Depictions of abuse and homophobia.

Jiro slowly really did feel herself slip into madness. Idly she slowly watched herself develop feelings for you and simultaneously watched as you slowly broke into pieces. All she wished is that she could find the words to tell you how she felt, but there were too many words to describe it. If she could find words to heal and bring the shattered pieces of you back together the would search to no end for them only to be presented with the fact that it was far too late for simple words to fix the irreversible damage that was done. Was it her fault? The restless nights of contemplation said the answer was yes, but how she hoped it wasn't true.

Best friends is how it started out but the lines got blurred when either one of you tried to figure out when that just stopped being enough. It probably did start with the awkward "glances." That's what they got labeled. It just meant one of you found the other staring at you, but both of you refused the think that was the case. Glances... Yeah.. Just let them be coincidences. Not commented on coincidences.

It was sickening how much time Jiro has racked in spending time with you, which lead to daydreams. So, so, many blissful daydreams. 'Fuck Schoolgirl crushes' is what she always thought when she found herself slipping away thinking about you. But it always returned with the sight of you, and the label of friend that constantly hung above your head. Was she wrong with the loud, ringing thought in her head of 'Lets be more than this'?

So many memories that Jirou cherished and thought were great seemed diminished with a spiderweb of cracks. Why can't she at least have the memories?

Quiet after-school days in each other's company slacking off on homework and reading music magazines gushing over what guitar, microphone or piece of musical equipment you wanted. When she actually first heard you sing and play the guitar it was a surreal experience that will forever release a cage full of butterflies in her stomach. She loved it so much. Might've been the moment when she realized she loved you so much.

She doesn't remember when the love she had for you that could be described as a soft drifting cloud started to turn for the worst. Seemingly crashing with no hope for survival. Not one second of peace, nothing to grab onto, no time to access the situation. Falling, constant falling without knowing when you'll hit the ground, just knowing when you will, it will be painful.

You came in with a black eye and bandage on your cheek but a small, proud smirk on your face, but there was another emotion there. Everyone could see it was pride and just something else no one could put their finger on, but Jirou could, it was her duty as you're best friend to be able to, of course. The emotion was sadness, a feeling that she wish she could take away from your life forever, even if she had to be burdened with a lifetime of it.

It was no surprise that everyone was quick to question it, Jirou was far from the only person who loved you, platonically or not. All questions were lightly shut down with a smile, a "don't worry about it" or "Its no big deal." Yet when Jiro asked with complete terror and worry laced in her words and eyes you had to tell her. You wanted to tell her, after all you were proud of it to a degree. Teen rebellion at its finest in your mind.

"Remember that Pride parade that happened two days ago?"

Jiro was never quite sure on your sexuality, but she did know you were a strong and active supporter. Thinking back on it, she think she did remember you mention it at least once.

It took you and all your friends to calm her down when you told her what happened. You came home, multiple pride flags imprinted on your body and pride flags in your hands and stuffed in your pockets. You had came home happy and feeling accomplished in possibly making a difference, expressing yourself. Meeting people who felt the same way as you did. People always say actions speak louder than words, and your parents were a prime example of such. Their actions? Undoubtedly an expression of the opposite of such feeling.

Your body told more of the story than what you had the stomach to put into worda. The obvious black eye a signal to a some sort of rough hit to the bruised area. Red marks dotted you everywhere, the kind you get after you roughly scrub and scratch on an area. The erasing of colorful rainbows. And lastly tired, yet hopeful eyes that show a sleepless night.

What Jirou would give to see hope in your eyes again.

It hurt Jirou. Made her sick to the bottom of her stomach. But as the words "This has and will only happen once" was repeatedly told to her from you with the remnants of purity in your eyes there wasn't a sound reason not to believe you. God, why didn't someone tell her that the possibility of that being true, no matter how sweet it sounded, especially coming from the voice she loved, were slim to none. This only proved more of a philosophy Jirou had. There is no such thing as miracles, no matter how much you deserved one.

She wished she asked you that day, what your sexual orientation is. Because it only got worst. Even days that weren't after pride marches you came with signature cuts and bruises and tired eyes that slowly became sadder and sadder, losing hope with each time you had to get a bandage. There's no way she could get a truthful answer out of you, on almost anything..

You stopped letting Jirou in, in means and hopes to have her worry less. Things weren't that bad, right? There wasn't a need to worry. Never would you want to burden your best friend with that, is what you told yourself. Rather that was a mask to hide a fear of vulnerability? That was a mystery.

You both drifted apart. More like you drifting away from her by your parents wishes. The constant taking and looking through your phone made it hard to maintain any contact with anyone. Jiro debunked them as little close minded spies that she would yell at and hit the first chance she gets.

Whenever Jiro did get the opportunity to talk to you, it wasn't the same. You were off.. jaded, even. Like if you spoke your mind or opinions, there were consequences. And if you did ever speak something that wasn't declared fact, it was obvious that you didn't mean it. There wasn't that sparkle of passion in your eyes that Jiro came to love when you talked about anything that interests you.

The day when she wanted nothing more than to hug you and show her undying love and adoration for you it was the day she truly realized it was too late to get the truthful answer from you. Her fears, confirmed

"I'm.. I am straight, Jirou." A lie slipped through a beautiful smile. What ever happened to Kyouka? What ever happened to no lies?

Whatever happened to you?

It was such an obvious lie, the way is sounded coming out of your mouth is like you were trying to tell yourself that. She tried to get the answer that you wanted to say and that she selfishly wanted to hear.

"We're all alone now."

"I'm sorry." It was all you could say, voice cracking from the guilt and quickly scurrying out the classroom. Jirou wanted to scream at the top of her lungs, curse everything to hell.

They had taped over your mouth and scribble out your truth. Those little fucking spies you had for parents.

Jiro knew she had to get you out of your parents lives. She had to give you your voice back. She couldn't just let what was being done happen. Hell, even if you were straight she would sleep better knowing that you were safe and not getting yelled at by your parents about your views.

But for now, for this insufferable time of present day, all that you can be to Jirou is her crush, and vice versa...

[vangoghmusings]

pairing: @oikawaplssteponme​ x kei tsukishima 

word count: 1.6k

a/n: here is an autumn themed art trade piece i wrote for willow! i haven’t written in a while so hopefully it isn’t terrible lol! 

“Willow!”  

The brunette haired girl looked up from her phone as she laid on the couch to look at her father whose arms were crosses over his chest.  

“Could you make yourself useful and go rake the leaves in the front yard?”  

She sighed and nodded, stretching and getting up from the couch. She was visiting home for fall break and was surprised how much energy her first semester at college had taken out of her. She grabbed her jacket and slipped on her sneakers and stepped outside, grabbing the rake from the garage on her way out. She stuffed her hand in her pocket and dug around for her earbuds and popped them in her ears. She clicked shuffle a couple times before landing on Paramore’s “Still Into You” since she’d been feeling quite nostalgic lately.  

Willow picked up the rake and began sweeping the large amounts of leaves that were scattered all over the yard. Quickly getting carried away, she sang out loud into the end of the rake and danced around her makeshift microphone.  

Across the street, Kei Tsukishima looked up from the book on his lap and out the window. He narrowed his eyes at the sight of the girl dancing around and what appeared to be yelling into a rake. He blinked, realizing that was his childhood friend, Willow. They were close in elementary school, but when Tsukishima called her annoying in middle school and that he wished she would leave her alone forever; she never made the attempt to talk to him again. He frowned down at his book, scolding his younger self for being such an asshole. During high school they were cordial, more acquaintances than friends. But Tsuki simply watched her bloom into herself with confidence and joy and often wished he had the courage to try and enter back into her life. Tsuki let out a small chuckle as he watched Willow pick up the rake and do a couple hops before walking back into the garage, a neat pile of leaves sitting on the lawn.  

“All done!” She hummed and set the rake down on the lawn. She stepped into the garage and opened the door to grab a garbage bag from inside, when a fuzzy blur sped past her legs, knocking her down. “MAC!” Willow shouted, watching her family’s obese and energetic English bulldog speed outside and run straight through the pile of leaves, scattering them everywhere. Willow groaned and stood up, rubbing her butt from the impact of the garage’s cement floor. Corralling Mac was no easy task, while he was too fat for his own good, he was practically still a puppy and had all the energy. She sighed and ran out into the yard, only to see Mac running in circles like a madman, frothing from the mouth in excitement. She chuckled and ran towards him.  

“C’mon Mac, come inside! I’ll get you a snack!”  

Mac paid the magic s-word no mind and continued to run around the yard. Willow gave an exasperated sigh and lunged towards her dog, only to be smacked harshly in the face by the wooden rod of the rake. She whimpered and fell back unto the lawn. With a pounding ache against her forehead, she lied down and winced. “Mac you little shit,” She mumbled.  

The sound of crunching leaves caught Willow’s attention. She opened her eyes, expecting to see the bright autumn sun, but was instead met with the silhouette of a lanky blonde boy. Her eyes widened and he let out a soft chuckle.  

“You’re too clumsy Willow.”  

“Kei?” She breathed out before sitting up. She couldn’t believe what was happening. Her childhood crush looked down at her, a small smirk plastered across his face. The same smirk he sent her in the hallway back in high school. Her heart gave a painful pound, remembering the lifelong crush she had on the boy.  

“Ow,” She mumbled, wincing once again from the pounding ache the impact of the wooden rod.  

“Careful,” Tsuki spoke softly, helping her sit up, “you hit your head pretty hard, you might even have a concussion.”  

“I don’t even know how that happened,” She grumbled and rubbed her forehead.  

“Well, you stepped on the bottom of the rake, so it swung up and hit you-”  

“Shut up, I know...were you watching me?”  

Tsuki blinked, praying his cheeks weren’t reflecting the red hot embarrassment he felt.  

“What? No- wait shit, your nose!”

Willow furrowed her brows in confusion and brought her hand up to her nose, pulling it away to see it dripping in blood.  

“Shit,” She sighed.  

“Let me help you,” Tsuki said, gently helping her up on her feet. Willow tilted her head back and cursed under her breath and blood continued to flow from her nose. She pinched her nose and winced once more as Tsuki led her inside his home. Her head hurt too much to care where she went as long as he was able to get her some pain killers.  

Warm yellow light filled the Tsukishima home as Willow walked inside. She leaned against Tsuki, who led her into the kitchen.  

“Here,” He mumbled and helped her hop onto the countertop. He grabbed a paper towel and turned to her. “Let go of your nose.”  

She sighed and tilted her head back down and unpinched her nostrils. Before any blood could gush out, Tsuki quickly set the paper towel against her nose and held it there steadily. Willow looked up at him with curiosity, her wide brown eyes peering from under long dark eyelashes. Tsuki cleared his throat and looked away. Those brown eyes seemed to haunt them, a beauty he thought was forgotten once they parted their ways after high school.  

“So, how’s college?” He mumbled, still looking away and praying his face wasn’t flushed.  

“It's fine,” She shrugged, her own cheeks burning from the closeness between them.  

Silence.  

“Uh, I think I’m okay now,” she said, giving Tsuki and excuse to pull away. He took the paper towel and threw it away and washed his hands in the kitchen sink. He turned back around to face her and frowned.  

“Oh, you stained your shirt.”  

Willow looked down at her shirt and low and behold, there was a big blotch of blood staining the chest. She sighed.  

“It's not my day apparently.”  

Tsuki nodded and walked away and upstairs, coming back down with a sweatshirt in his large pale hand.  

“Here.”  

He handed it to her and she took it, wondering why the boy who had ignored her since elementary school was showing her so much kindness. She reached for the hem of her shirt and paused.  

“Uh, Kei, can you-”  

“O-oh, yeah sorry,” He mumbled and shuffled away.  

Willow let out another sigh and slipped off the bloodied fabric and slipped on Tsuki’s sweatshirt. She inhaled deeply, a thousand memories rushing to her with the familiar scent. Cinnamon.  

Memories of running around the playground, playing dinosaurs, forcing Tsuki to play with barbie dolls. All were accompanied by the scent he never outgrew, of sweet cinnamon.  

She buried her nose in the collar and filled her lungs with the smell. She smiled softly, only to frown when she remembered how he didn’t miss her. He didn’t care he hurt her feelings in elementary school. He didn’t care about her. She clung to the sweatshirt and looked down, tears beginning to well up.  

“Hey, Willow are you done- woah are you okay?” Tsuki asked in concern at her hunched figure clinging to his sweatshirt. She blinked a few times, tears rolling down her cheeks and sniffled before looking up at the boy her heart had longed for since she was little.  

“Why did you say it?”  

He paused and sighed. He often asked himself the same question. Every day at school, seeing her laugh and smile and goof around with her friends, he wished he never left her world.  

“I don’t know.” He bit his lip and looked down at Willow, tears continuing to fall. “Willow please, don’t cry...I couldn’t stand it when we were little, and I can’t stand it now.”  

“You couldn't stand me when we were little and I’m sure it's still the same-”  

“Willow I-I love you, please don’t cry.”  

Willow’s eyed widened and she looked up at him.  

“What?”  

Tsuki sighed and unclenched his shaking fists. As gently as possibly he brushed the brown hair from her face with his slender fingers, taking his thumbs and wiping away her tears from her pink cheeks.  

In a soft whisper, he spoke, “I loved you when we were kids, when we were in high school and I still love you. I don’t know what was wrong with me- I was a stupid kid, well I’m still stupid because I never said I was sorry but-”  

Tsuki’s eyes widened as he was silenced by a pair of soft lips on his. A relieved chuckle escaped him as he pulled her close and kissed her deeply. Willow beamed at his touch and pulled away to press a kiss on his cheek.  

“I accept your apology,” She giggled. He rolled his eyes and hugged her tightly. Willow sighed happily and breathed in his cinnamon. “I love you too Kei.”  

He smiled and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. The moment was quickly interrupted by the sound of a large bark outside. Willow froze and gasped.  

“SHIT I LEFT MAC OUTSIDE”  

Tsuki blinked, watching Willow sprint out the front door. He laughed and sighed. At least now he could help her chase down her dog instead of her.  

[purplesurveys]

1018

When was the last time you were in pain? Did you take a painkiller? Last Saturday when I stubbed my toe and it made my nailbed bleed. Nah, I just dabbed tissue on it and covered it up a Band-Aid. It didn’t really need one, but I placed one anyway so that I didn’t have to see the cut.

What was the last question that someone else asked you? I was showing my mom some photos of the typhoon’s aftermath in our city and she was asking me where exactly one of the photos was taken. It’s honestly so bad over here rn and I feel kinda guilty for taking surveys when so much of the city still has chest-deep flood...but this is the one thing keeping me from going insane while we still don’t have electricity and internet at home, so.

Do you recall what you were doing last time 7pm came around? Wrapping up work, watching the newest episode of Good Mythical Morning, and was also probably looking for a survey to answer.

What was the last thing you consumed, that tasted sweet? Churros with chocolate dip.

Do you know who Mr Blobby is, or have you ever heard of him? I have never heard of it. Them? Him?

Have you ever befriended someone named Tom? What is/was he like? I don’t think so. I’ve never heard of a Tom where I live. I know Tims though, lol.

Does your father have any hobbies? What are they? He loves cars and motorcycles, and I also always catch him watching compilations of dumb vehicular accidents. He’s also into the latest gadgets and I know he’s been wanting a drone for ages now.

Name a food you enjoy, that starts with the same letter as your surname. Curry. :)

What did the last face mask you wore look like? I always wear those thin plain blue disposable ones because they are light and breathable. < Yeah, same. My mom buys boxes of these all the time so this kind is my only choice, really. I never minded it though.

Do you enjoy any songs by The Pet Shop Boys? The name is familiar and I probably know one or two songs of theirs that I enjoy, but I just can’t place any at the moment.

Is there a specific song that you always request at parties? What is it? Eh, not really. I let other people take over the music. Sometimes my friends will request Paramore for me hehehehe and it’s always nice when everyone ends up enjoying whatever song by them is played. But I’m personally often too shy myself to do the requesting because I’m scared it’ll turn out to be a flop. 

Have you ever read 'The Railway Children?' Did you like it? I don’t think I’ve ever heard of that.

What was the last thing someone said or did, that made you chuckle? So we have a card game at home wherein each card has a certain category and the game is simply a race to come up with an example under that category. So for example if the game master pulls out a card that says ‘fruit,’ you wanna be the first person to yell apple or orange or something. Anyway, my family pulled it out again because of the current power outage, and while we were playing earlier my mom excitedly yelled “CEREAL” when the category was “breakfast cereal.” All of us died laughing.

Have you ever met anyone named Joyce? What is/was she like? I know multiple people whose second name is Joyce, but I dunno anyone who has that as their main name or preferred nickname.

Who was the last relative you visited? My grandma. Needed to pick up the box of revel bars that my uncle had made for my mom.

Does anyone close to you have blue eyes? Nah, especially not in this part of the world. Who was the last person you messaged on social media? Andrew. He was simply checking up on me because our city is one of the hardest-hit areas of the typhoon so far.

^ Do you know when their birthday is? June or July 20something...I can’t remember at the moment.

Is there anyone you love, whose name starts with H? Hmm Hannah is a good friend of mine, and I guess I can say I love her, sure.

Do you own a hairdryer? What color is it? Yeah, pink. I’ve since given it to my sister since she needed a hairdryer in her dorm, but it was originally a gift for me.

What CDs do you have in your car, if any? I don’t keep CDs in my car anymore. If I wanted to listen to my music, I just link my Spotify to the stereo via Bluetooth.

One hour from now, what time will it be? 4:35 PM.

{found @ pinkchocolate}

--

When you woke up today, did you find unread messages from anyone? Yeah, because I still talk to my ex like a dumbass. Did the last message you received contain any emojis? No, Angela didn’t use any. Have you recently told anyone that you miss them? Yeah, I said it to Hans today because he messaged me for the first time since my birthday this year. Are you wearing a scrunchie in your hair today? What color? Not right now. I used my hairtie to tie up the bag of chips I wasn’t able to finish earlier, so unless I finish that up soon I won’t be able to tie my hair up in a ponytail for a while haha. Have you sent or received any friend requests on Facebook lately? Yuh, the people I interned with - Angel, Justine, and Bianca - added me on there recently. My cousin Maggie also made an account and added me. Can you recall the last time you turned down an offer, of any kind? My mom offered me the last churro earlier because she knows I love them, but I didn’t feel like eating anymore so I let her have it. What was the last film that you saw for the first time? I’m Thinking of Ending Things. ^ Did you enjoy it? I had a hard time with it, especially with the last 20 or so minutes; and it was the first time I found myself struggling with a Charlie Kaufman work. I wouldn’t say I didn’t enjoy it, though. I guess I just found it a little too complex, and films that make me THINK think are generally a hit-or-miss for me. Which swear word did you utter most recently? Probably fuck or a local swear word. ^ Was it because you were annoyed in some way? A little bit, yeah. My phone’s adapter was missing for a few moments. Do you ever find the smell of your pets’ food unpleasant? No. We feed them the same things we eat, so it would be kind of odd to call that unpleasant. When was the last time you reheated leftovers? Tuesday. It was a burger I failed to finish over the weekend. What was the last thing you ate, that was from a bakery? Can’t even remember the last time we ordered from a bakeshop...a pandesal is my best guess, but I can barely remember the last time I had one of those. Which fruit would you say you eat the most often? Haaaaaaaaaaaa. Is there a lake close to where you live? Nope. There’s a river, though. What was the last song you recall singing along to? Broken-Hearted Girl by Beyoncé. Have you uploaded any photos to social media today? Of what? No. Literally everyone has been posting photos of their flooded houses and neighborhoods all day, and it’d be insensitive to post pics of my otherwise (fortunately) normal and relatively unaffected neighborhood or some other type of photo. Are you in the process of reading a book? Which one? Nope.  ^ Are you enjoying it? - How recently did you charge the battery on your mobile phone? This morning, but I had to charge from my car because no electricity. I have to do it again, actually – my phone’s barely hanging on at 9%. Is there anyone you interact with every day, on social media? Yeah, my co-workers. In my new job, I’ll have to communicate with Ysa, Bea, and Steffi the most as I was placed in their team. What do you typically do to unwind at the end of the day? Watching the new episode of Good Mythical Morning and GMMore. Sometimes I’ll watch some wrestling too.

{found @ pinkchocolate}

--

Has anything fallen out of your pocket at any time recently? My vape pen. Luckily I was in my room because I would’ve been a dead daughter if it fell out in front of my parents. Do you have any books that you plan to read sometime soon? Yeah. I plan to resume Midnight Sun one of these days. It’s just a little hard at the moment because I first got it and read it during a rough phase two months ago...opening the book just brings back the memories. It’ll be a while before I’m able to dissociate from those thoughts and enjoy the book. Did anything disturb your sleep at all last night? Yes, the typhoon. The wind was loud enough to wake me up. The electricity also went out a little after midnight, so that also made it hard to fall back asleep. What kind(s) of Facebook groups are you active in, if any? Too many, but I deactivated Facebook again so it doesn’t matter. Do you enjoy any films with Judi Dench in them? Which ones? I respect her contributions as an actress but I’m generally not a fan of the films in her repertoire, so I haven’t seen any of them. I do remember wanting to check out The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, but I just never got around to it. Do you enjoy any herbal or fruit teas? What kinds? No, I don’t like tea. Are you currently wearing anything grey? Yeah, my current shirt is gray. Nice timing :) Name any object in your household that is purple. The pen on my work desk is purple. I also have a purple highlighter that I used while still in college. What was the last food item that you used your hands to eat? Churros. Have you seen anyone today that you consider to be attractive? Nope, I’ve only seen my family and even though I wouldn’t call them ugly, I don’t find them attractive in ~that way either. Do you recall what you were doing at 9:30 this morning? Trying to take a survey before realizing I wouldn’t be able to finish it because I felt a breakdown coming through. Do you use a moisturizer? What brand? No. My skin doesn’t really require lots of maintenance, so I’ve left it be for the most part. Do you currently own or use any toiletries with a fruity scent? I don’t think so. My shampoo has that original scent that just smells like...shampoo, I guess, my conditioner smells like milk, and my toothpaste is minty rather than fruity. Does anyone close to you have a beard? Dad, but he shaves it off all the time. The last time you were in your kitchen, what task(s) did you carry out? I made myself coffee. Name some pop groups that you loved as a child. Wasn’t into any as a child, but as a teenager I liked One Direction. Ok fine, as an adult too heheh Do you recall the first CD you ever owned? The High School Musical soundtrack lol Have you ever worked with anyone named Sophie? What was she like? I went to school with multiple Sophies but I never had to work with them. What terms of endearment do you mostly use when speaking to others? I use “b” or “bb” with nearly everyone, as long as it’s appropriate. Is anyone in your family currently pregnant? No. I used to think I was next, but I think I’ll be waiting a lot longer now. I don’t even know if it would still happen to me...which is sad, because I’ve always wanted a kid of my own. Do you have any specific plans for this weekend? If the typhoon subsides by this week I’ll be expecting my cross-stitch kit that I ordered online, and I can’t wait to start learning all weekend. {found @ pinkchocolate}

[multifandom-kpop-scenarios]

Hi! Idk if you're still taking requests for the special, but if you are: Jeongin (Stray Kids) / Witch AU / "crushcrushcrush" by Paramore. Jacob (The Boyz) / Robot AU / "Hard Feelings" by Poppy.

Hello, anon! thank you for taking the time to request from us! I apologize for the wait, but it is here, now! Also, Admin AJ is still trying to find the time to complete your Jacob request, so please keep an eye out for that!

Admin REX

(Word Count: 921) 

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Chan nudged you with his knee, making you hum in question.When he didn’t respond, you lolled your head lazily to rest on the couch cushion to up at his figure seated on the couch above you. You frowned at him, seeing that he was looking at his phone, smile on his face. “Chan.” He looked up, “Felix is coming over and he’s bringing Jeongin.” At the name, you frowned more, “Great.” Chan only raised his brows before turning back to his phone.

It’s not that you don’t like Felix, or even Jeongin. Felix was like a weird brother, and Jeongin, well. You liked Jeongin. A lot, actually. But that was the problem; Jeongin didn’t seem to like you. Or, well, he did, but it also really felt like he didn’t. The one time you complained about it to Minho, he rolled his eyes, shaking his head as he murmured, “Ah, to be young again.” Minho wasn’t even that much older, despite being a full-fledged warlock. 

You sighed, trying to think up an excuse quick enough to be able to escape before Jeongin got here. When you turned to Chan, he was already looking at you, “Nope.” You huffed a small laugh, “What.” Chan raised his brows again when you opened your mouth again, “You’re not leaving. I know you don’t have anything to do today. Plus Felix would be sad that you left without saying hello.” You threw your head back and groaned. Then you lifted your head, “Minho can’t keep a secret, I swear.” Chan just laughed.

It was quiet for a few more minutes, your attention focused back on the tv. “You know.” Chan started. “Chan, if you’re gonna suggest I use my magic on Jeongin, I’m gonna curse the next three meals you eat.” Chan was awkwardly silent. Then, quietly, “Sorry.” You nodded at him, it really wasn’t that big of a deal. Just because you were a witch didn’t mean you had to like using your magic, especially for things like that. Sure, you liked Jeongin a lot, but you were not going to use it on him. Minho said the same thing. For a warlock who was supposed to be your “sagely and wise” mentor, he sure gave bad advice sometimes.

When Felix walked in, unlocking the door like he owned the place, he grinned seeing you, “(Y/N)!” He walked over to you and pulled you into a hug, before he stole the spot you’d taken on the couch. Jeongin walked in, smiling his brightest smile, dimples on full display, “Hi.” You smiled, knowing that you probably looked more ecstatic to see him than Felix, which, Absurd. You sat on the floor in front of the couch where Chan was and Jeongin sat in front of Felix. Felix reached for the remote, “So, what are we watching today?”

It’d been at least a week since you had a movie marathon - of, like, eight wizard movies (which is ironic, given that you’re capable of using magic, too, but you were never invited to a magic school) - and you had been hanging out with Felix and, by extension, Jeongin, since Chan was too busy. If you thought you had it bad before, you had severely underestimated how much you liked Jeongin. It was like push and pull, a game tug-of-war. It really felt like Jeongin liked you, but whenever you expected he could ask you out, he pulled back. It was frustrating, but at the same time, it was more than you interacted with him before.

“Hey, (Y/N)? You know about magic, right?” Jeongin approached you, which surprised you, because Jeongin seemed like he would never talk to you on his own, without Felix, who was running late for some reason. “Yeah, I do. Why?” He was quiet for a few seconds. Then he pulled out a trinket from his pocket, “Minho gave this to me. I don’t know what it is.” You looked at it with curiosity. It was a charm, one that you had actually seen the warlock working on. “Oh, it’s a confidence charm. That was nice of him!” You smiled at Jeongin. He smiled back, then put the charm back into his pocket. He looked like he wanted to say more but was cut off by Felix sliding into the booth beside you, “You guys would not believe how many dogs were on the way here!”

The longer you hung out with Jeongin, you noticed little things. The game of emotional tug-of-war continued, just as tense as it was, before something would snap the tension, everything being reset to how it was before. Well, everything was almost back to normal each time, aside from the few times you’d see Jeongin’s gaze lingering on you for a few more seconds before he’d quickly turn away. It frustrated you a little bit, how it was clear that you liked him and he liked you, but neither of you could say what you wanted to. It was like magic sealed your lips, though you knew that wasn’t true; you’d sense the curse.

You just wish you could tell Jeongin, and you had a lot that you wanted to tell him, but it really seemed like it would never happen at this point. You felt like you were losing hope, really. But, there really wasn’t much that you could do. This would just be an unrequited crush, no matter how much you wanted the relationship you had with Jeongin to be more than it was.

[sweet-royalty]

I Don’t Want to Make You Feel Uncomfortable

Summary: Roman wanted to dedicate a song to Virgil on a karaoke night but is afraid his Social Anxiety will make him not enjoy this so much

Genre: Songfic

Word Count: 1,467

Pairing: Romantic Prinxiety

Content: Karaoke; Tooth-Rotting Fluff; No Angst; Just Pure Fluff; Genderqueer Roman (They/Them); Brazilian Roman and Remus; Morally Neutral Remus; POC Sides; Song: Still Into You (Paramore); Portuguese written with no translation

Trigger Warning:  Implied/Referenced Drug Use and Addiction; Cocaine; Juul;

Ao3 Link

Wattpad Link

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The lights on the club were blindly bright and Virgil was not comfortable with this at all. He tried to sit as far from the crowd as possible so he wouldn’t deal with all those self-absorbed people staring at the weird black goth there, more than they were already.

- Urgh, of all places why the fuck did you brought me here, Roman? - he mumbled with himself wondering where his partner could be.

They went to get some drinks and Virgil asked to stay waiting but he was starting to get anxious. What if they never come back!? What if they got lost!? What if some weirdo spiked their drink and they fainted on their way and Roman was kidnapped!? What if-

- Helloooo – Roman’s voice gladly interrupted his thoughts with an angel voice and a kiss on the cheek. Virgil immediately sighed in relief and snatched the drink from their hands taking a long sip from the straw

Roman giggled.

- I’m sorry, this place isn’t as good as I thought it would be. I saw some good reviews on it but this place is full of snob people.

- It sure is… - Virgil grunted.

- We can go home if you want-

- No way! You spent your money on it – Virgil laid his head on the latine’s shoulder and took another sip - I’m not letting it be on waste. Let’s stay for a while.

Roman smiled as they also laid their head on him. Feeling those soft hair locks on their cheeks and his shampoo smell was so relaxing that they almost forgot about where they were… Well, both of them.

Virgil’s hand slowly reached Roman’s as he closed his eyes just feeling their warmth on him. If it wasn’t for the crowded space, this would be a perfect relaxing time. Why didn’t they just stayed home watching some random Disney movies until falling asleep like they always do? It would be so good… Just the two of them.

- Well… There’s another reason why I brought you here, actually – Roman said scratching their neck nervously.

- Oh, yeah? – Virgil arched his eyebrow with a small smile – What is it, Ro?

- Well... I know how nervous you are with crowds but there’s something I’ve always wanted to do for you and I didn’t know how because I know how anxious you get around other people… - they took a deep breath that filled the goth with curiosity – It’s karaoke night and I wanted to dedicate a song to you BUT don’t worry, I’m not announcing it or anything! – Roman started to avoid Virgil’s eye contact at this point, too scared that their boyfriend would be mad at him or even disappointed. Their green eyes staring their own lap – I know you’d feel desperate if everyone started to look at you or if I announced your name in front of them but… I’ve always wanted to sing something for you just to say how much I love you so-

- Hey, your majesty… - Virgil smiled at them, turning their head to look at him while rubbing his thumb on their cheek – You are the loveliest dumbass I’ve ever met, you know that? You didn’t have to plan all of this for me, I’m not even worth all this effort-

- Yes, you are! – Roman frowned at him - Out of all people you’re the most worthy of any effort I can make and I’ll not accept you saying otherwise!

He scoffed, sealing his lips on Roman’s gently. That hopeless Disney royalty would never fail to try and make something big and elaborate to that embodied nightmare, and he’d never complain about it.

- You’ll never learn, huh?

- You should know that brazilians never give up, my love – they winked mischievously, making him smile

- Pff, yeah I can totally see that. Well, go there then, make this night worth it

- Glad you said it, because I’m the next one to sing and I need to get ready! – They kissed Virgil’s forehead before rushing off – I’ll be right back!

Virgil waited anxiously until he heard his partner’s name being called.

That beautiful human coming up the stage with the spotlight illuminating their light brown hair, Roman’s eyes landing on him followed by that heart-melting smile. He wished he could be mad at Roman for dragging him to this stupid place just to sing a song for him… But he couldn’t… He could never.

"It's not a walk in the park to love each other But when our fingers interlock Can't deny, can't deny you're worth it ‘Cause after all this time I'm still into you"

He smiled. Virgil would never guess this type of song for Roman but his voice somehow fitted wonderfully with this song. And the goth boy found the lyrics perfect for them.

"I should be over all the butterflies But I'm into you (I'm into you) And, baby, even on our worst nights I'm into you (I'm into you) Let 'em wonder how we got this far ‘Cause I don't really need to wonder at all Yeah, after all this time I'm still into you"

Well, he could reciprocate with this part a lot. The butterflies he was feeling at that exact moment were the best proof to it. If they were a Disney character they should be the one with the best and most powerful song and he was sure that Roman would ace on it like literally everything they do. He would never admit it but Virgil could stand there and listen to Roman sing all night long, no matter what.

That voice, that dedication, that love they give to their own work like a blacksmith forging a sword to a god… He was in love with it. He was in love with every single aspect of that proud, stubborn and perfect human.

They were both SO into each other.

————————————————————————————–

Roman came back to Virgil cuping his face into their hands and kissing him, while feeling the embrace of his arms around their waist. They touched each other's foreheads, Roman was gliding their thumb on the black shiny skin looking deeply in his eyes.

- So… What did you think?

- You tried to find an emo music, right?

Roman laughed, now putting their arms around Virgil’s neck.

- Yeah, I did

- Well, you failed miserably because Paramore is not emo anymore but it was a lovely song and I could see the meaning you gave to it so... – he kissed them again – I loved it, baby

- Haha, well at least I tried

They were about to kiss each other again when Roman’s cellphone started to ring making them sulk in frustration

They answered it and sat beside Virgil

– Hello? – Roman sulked after hearing the answer – Que foi, rato de esgoto!?

“Oh, they’re speaking portuguese” Virgil thought “It’s probably, Remus”

- E quem disse que eu sei onde tá essa porra!? REMUS, EU TÔ COM VIRGIL PARA DE LIGAR PRA FALAR MERDA!

- Uhhh... Is everything ok? – Virgil didn’t know portuguese but all this time with the twins were enough for him to learn that hearing “porra” and “merda” meant that someone is cursing, and that someone was Roman

- Yeah, yeah he’s just- REMUS, NÃO CHEGA PERTO DO MEU QUARTO! SE TU ESFREGAR ESSA TUA CARA CRACUDA NO MEU QUARTO EU TE MATO, PESTE DO CÃO!

After a few seconds of silence Roman put their phone back on their pocket mumbling furiously about how Remus is a “puto nojento” which means double angry, not in portuguese, but in Roman language.

- He hung up in my face, that stupid asshole!

- What’s wrong, Ro?

- Urgh, Remus is doing drugs again in our apartment and asked me if I knew where his... – Roman stopped looking around as if searching for something - Uhhhhhh… His… - they started to snap their fingers, nervously - Caralho, qual o nome desta merda em inglês? … Uhhhhh you know that thing people use to smoke but is not really a cigarette!? Like an… e…letric thing? Eletronic? I don’t know…

- … A juul?

- YEAH, THIS THING! He asked me if I knew where it was and when I said I didn’t know, because I don’t mess with this stuff, he said he was going look for it in my bedroom! BUT IT'S NOT IN MY BEDROOM, DAMNIT!

- Oh… I see…

They sulked really hard throwing their back behind to lay in the wall.

- I don’t know what to do with him at this point

- Well, maybe we should go home then. We have our own things to take care of – He said, fixing on his jacket and getting up.

- Yeah… Sorry about it, little nightshade

- Eh, it’s fine, your majesty – he kissed them quickly, holding their hand – Next time we’ll go to my place and binge something on Netflix, deal?

Roman smiled and rubbed their noses together before getting up.

- Deal.

[secondhand-trash]

Ben Hargreeves(UA)- Family

[Requested]

A/N: Hi, it’s me and I’m in love with Ben. Also, much thanks to the anon who sent in this request because this gave me the motivation that I very much so needed. I may or may not have elaborated on it a lil bit too much but I hope you like it! (Side note: I’m trying to write reader inserts as gender neutral as possible from now on because I feel like it would be more enjoyable for a larger variety of people^^)

Description: (in a miraculous world where Ben was alive)In which we learn about how one went from freinds to family in the span of years.

Word count: 1977

Playlist: 

Fallingforyou//The 1975

Mystery of Love//Sufjan Stevens

Only Us//OBC of Dear Evan Hansen

Still Into You//Paramore

Never in a million years did you think that you would ever come back to this god damn house.

Ever since you could remember, your parents always told you that there was something strange about the man who lived across the street. He adopted seven children out of no where (“Apparently those children were born on the same day to women who had no signs of pregnancy beforehand,” your mother scoffed, “as if that’s even possible.”) and tried to trained them into becoming this group of crime fighting superhumans (“That man is out of his mind,” your father exclaimed, “those are children!”). And so like the sensible parents they claimed to be, they warned you to stay away from ‘that Hargreeves man’ and his ‘Umbrella Academy’. 

And naturally, like any child would, you did the exact opposite of what they told you to. 

It was not on purpose, you never intented to wander near the Hargreeves’ house one day when you went home from school (despite the fact that you might be able to get home a lot earlier if you hadn’t, but as we said before, it was unintentional), you did not plan to talk to one of the kids that lived there (Number six, as you heard his father called him, very odd way to call your child but you guessed that it must have meant that he was the sixth oldest among the seven of them) and you most certainly did not return every day after that just to talk to the boy again (it was simply out of chances that he was there the moment you walked by, at least that’ s what you told them when your parents question you at the table).

As days passed and your small conversations got longer each time, you learned that he indeed has a name (”It’s Ben, actually.” he said when you asked him, fidgeting with his hands as he speak) and the numbers were not actually an indication to the their order of birth. 

You two got closer as days past and he started to tell you more about the Academy. He told you all about his family, about the missions they went on. Curiously, you asked ”So you guys all have powers, right?” 

Ben nodded softly and you said, “can you show me yours?” 

He did not say anything, lowering his head and looked away from you instead. “You don’t want to see it,” he said after staying silence for a while, “it’ll scare you away.” 

You did not question him any further and neither one of you said anything else that day. Sitting next to him in silence, you secretly decided that you would not allow yourself to ever be afraid of Ben, no matter what his power was. It was years later when he finally dared to show you what he was capable of doing and you kept the promise you made to yourself. Upon seeing how nervous he was to see your reaction, you pulled him into a tight hug and reassured him that it did not affect how you feel about him, you had no idea how much he appreciated it.

Days soon became years and the children who talked in front of the doorsteps everyday slowly grew up. You didn’t think anything would change at first, Ben was still your best friend and you two still talked about everything. But then you started to notice that something did change. You found yourself grinning like an idiot at everything he said and you noticed small details that you never paid attention to, like the way he hums whenever he thinks that no one could hear him. It soon came to a point when you realised that you may or may not have fallen head over heels for your best friend. Admitting that to yourself, you soon noticed the many subtle signs that he may or may not have loved you back.

You distinctly remembered the first time he held your hand. It was a cozy autumn afternoon and you were watching the leaves fell in the garden with Ben. You were in your own word when you felt Ben gingerly putting his hand on yours. You looked up at him and smiled. With flushed cheeks, he looked away while gently grabbing your hand in his. You couldn’t help but chuckle and softly pulled your hand out. Ben reluctantly turned his head back at you, a flash of hurt in his eyes. However, his frown soon lifted and turned into a sheepish grin as you fully intertwined your hand with his.

There was no doubt that you went from friends to lovers at that very moment and it was like that’s how things were ought to be. Ben sneaked out at night to be with you whenever he could and you made sure that you always had your windows opened for him. You two didn’t get to do much stuff that couples usually do on dates but it was enough for you just being with him, talking about everything and anything in your room until daybreak.

Despite your best attempt to keep it a secret, it didn’t take long for his siblings to discover that you two got together. You were just about to leave the Academy after being with Ben during the 30 minutes of free time he had each week (a ridiculously short period of time, you would say). 

“I’ll try to see if I can come over tonight, ok?”Ben said, holding your hand. 

“Ok.” You smiled and leaned in to give him a soft peck. Clearly not satisfied, Ben pulled you towards him and kissed you much more firmly on the lips. You chuckled at his rare initiation for affection and kissed him back when the moment was ruined by a loud bang on the door. 

“Hey Ben, do you hav.. Ohmygodimsosorry!” You snapped your head to the door just in time to see Klaus running down the corridor in such a frantic manner that you couldn’t help but laugh. 

Ben whispered in embarrassment, “I hope he won’t tell anyone about..”

“GUYS!!!!! BEN HAS A GIRLFRIEND!!!!!” 

“Never mind.”

Although his siblings teased you relentlessly (it was all in good fun, a bit annoying to have six people doing that though) and you could sense the obvious disapproval from Reginald Hargreeves (at this point, you refused to acknowledge him as their father because despite fulfilling his duty as a caregiver, no father would ever treat his child the way he did), your relationship was strong even when you became adults. 

You did not hesitate even for a little bit when he took out a ring from his shirt pocket and asked you to marry him. The wedding was small and only attended by close family and friends. Your parents were skeptical of Ben at first(and quite shocked that you had been going against their orders for so long without them noticing) but soon came to accept it when they saw how happy you were with him. Reginald, on the other hand, did not even show up at the wedding. It upset Ben greatly, that he had done whatever his father asked of him yet still not earning his approval. That was the moment he decided that it might be time to move on and stop circling his life around his father’s wishes.

You two were 20 by the time you got married. Moving into your own place right away, life got rough and paying the bills could be a struggle sometimes but it was all worth it to be by each other’s side. His siblings would call every once in a while(mostly Klaus and Vanya, occasionally Allison would come by as well) and you would sometimes passed by the old building when you visit your parents at your childhood home but you never step back into the Academy.

It wasn’t until Reginald Hargreeves’s death that you finally returned to where everything started.

Sitting in the grand living room, you held Ben’s hand firmly as an attempt to comfort him. Reginald’s death hit him hard and the awkward silence with all of his siblings did not help easing his nerves at all. 

“I guess we should get this started,” Luther finally broke the silence as he stood up. He went on to talked about a ceremony and the others chimed in about some minor details. You tried to focus on what Luther had to say but you looked at Ben and could tell that he was clearly not listening. You gently squeezed his hand to which he gave you a weak smile and patted the back of your hand to assure you that he’s ok.

“Listen up,” Luther said and you turned your attention back to him, “we still have some important things that we’ve to discuss.” He then turned to look at you, think in silence for a while and said, “I think it might be best that only family will hear about what we’ll be saying next.” 

You stared back at him in disbelief, even a little bit hurt upon getting the hint that you were still an outsider despite being married to his brother for years. 

Klaus was not having none of it, “I mean technically in-laws are still part of the family, right? And let’s not act like (y/n) haven’t been around for ages now.” 

Ben was already in a bad mood and it only got worse upon hearing what Luther just said, “Even dad felt sick when he saw my powers and (y/n) didn’t even do so little as flinch, I saw them as family way before the idea of marriage even crossed my mind.” Ben said, trying his best to contain his annoyance. “I understand that you are concerned but I’m not having this conversation if you’re excluding the one person who have been by my side throughout all these years.” 

Ben’s anger shocked you, he was always so soft spoken and reserved that you didn’t expect him to lash out on his brother(one that he looked up to for so long). Needless to say, his siblings definitely did not expect him to react so strongly and the conversation went dead. 

“I think (y/n) should stay.” Allison said, nodding towards you slightly. Diego didn’t say a word yet he made no move to oppose it either and Vanya bumble something about not leaving anyone out. 

Luther remained silent. Letting out a defeated sigh, "Ok, fine.”

Later that night, you were alone with Ben in his old bedroom. You were unpacking your stuff on his bed when you felt a wave of nostalgia and you couldn’t help but smile when you thought of how far you two had come. 

“Remember when Klaus caught us kissing right here?” You turned to Ben, relieved to see him smile when you brought up the incident.

 “How could I not,” Ben said and sat down next to you, “they didn’t stop talking about it for weeks.” You two just sat together like that for a while and it reminded you of all those times when you were a kid. 

“Earlier back there,” you cupped his cheek as you said, “you didn’t have to defend me like that, it’s fine.” 

Ben leaned into your touch and reached up to hold your hand, “But you are family to me, I won’t let anyone doubt that.”

You stared into his eyes and was warmed by how determented he was. You leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. Pulling back, you chuckled at how he still blushes even after being together for years. Despite growing up, you could still see that young boy you fell in love with in the man in front of you. If only you knew that you would find a family in the boy who lived across the street many many years ago when you were just a young child looking for a friend.