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SMT Boardgame Kickstarter Smells Like Suspicious Fish
There's an SMT boardgame. Curb your enthusiasm, you shouldn't back it. And if you did, lower your pledge to like a buck until they clear things up, because as it stands it seems like an incredibly suspect product.
Checking through the Kickstarter comments and Japanese Tweets about the boardgame makes the entire thing seem poorly planned at best. I'll summarize as best I can;
The designer is incredibly infamous in the boardgame community
Naoki Matsunaga, a self-described "board game sommelier", is the designer. You'll find tweets lamenting that "the board game sommelier is involved". Why is he so hated? This thread goes into detail: co_boze on twitter. Part of it is they bashed Werewolf over one game they saw of it, another is they took on a kind of public-face role for boardgames appearing on late night TV shows to talk about them in ways that annoyed boardgamers. They seem to have designed a boardgame based on "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" which ripped off Sid Sackson's 'I'm the Boss". But it's what co_boze talks about next that's really bizarre. The game was apparently banned from most board game cafes and playing spaces. Seminars where people could play the game were hosted, but the venues that hosted these seminars all closed down.
If you keep looking through comments, you start finding claims that his company does multi-level marketing (ie pyramid schemes). To be honest, I don't know if this is true. But even if it isn't, it is really not hard to find people who know of this guy and would really really really REALLY prefer he was not involved.
"Oh fuck, it's THIS guy" is not a reaction that inspires confidence
2. Questionable development and presentation issues.
A regular collaborator with Atlus recently tweeted "The use of AI in Atlus works or derivative works is stictly prohibited." He responded to a reply asking if this was about a board game.
The staff running the SMT BG Kickstarter later clarified the actual -game- wouldn't use AI graphics... but from the looks of it, the promotional materials do.
Dig that... generic metal pipe aesthetic. Nothing screams MegaTen like black plumbing to nowhere.
In totally unrelated news, a board game manufacturer recently tweeted that a Kickstarter used their name without permission, and they're not sure why.
Quote tweets on the post would suggest it was the SMT board game. The comment they are loosely referring to is this:
In a follow-up post, they do specify "The product figures will be made of PVC." and "We will be manufacturing the games in partnership with a factory in China that has a proven track record... " "Figure director Kimura Yuzuru has over 10 years of experience..." and other boring development stuff that I have no issue with. What I do have issue with is how they can say things like they're "considering" which manufacturer to use and namedropping other companies that they're unrelated with. (While I was typing this post, they posted an update that clarified the CMON issue and literally nothing else: here.)
The boardgame is being presented with machine translated English printed on the same cards as the Japanese. But the actual game will have a translator check everything.
they hire translators to localize all game content
Additionally, there was a week long radio silence on the Kickstarter. For reference, Kickstarters are normally very active with the project planners dropping updates, responding to feedback and clearing up any concerns.
Some of the concerns were "How does the game actually play?", a question that would be best answered by dropping a rulebook for people to look at, or better yet showing them an entire run of the game. The SMT BG Kickstarter has boldly chosen neither. Devs have commented the game is on Version 11 and plays well, which makes it strange that they can't share any of it with anyone else.
Actually, when you compare this to how most Kickstarters are run, it becomes very clear the SMT BG Kickstarter is, uh, kinda failing in all possible regards. The first Backer Goal is "Jack Frost Dice" at 2000 backers (not funds raised, BACKERS). Despite getting 300%(!!!) of the initial pledge needed, there are no bonuses or unlocks.
Mind, this lack of information comes after they already delayed the start to supposedly improve Backer Goals and other aspects.
There aren't a shortage of issues - it's ICREA's first boardgame (but not their first tango with SMT; they made the SMT30th Logo, for instance.) The timeline seems totally wack. The staff have been incredibly slow to respond. Cards with tiny font and two languages printed on them. Etc, etc. Maybe individually these issues wouldn't be too concerning. But all of them combined make the product seem incompetently run at best, and at worst an actual scam.
I'm hardly a big influencer in the SMT scene (my biggest contribution is when that fucking succubus gif gets 36k likes on Twitter every 5 months) but I haven't seen any English speaking sources discuss this in detail, when there really should be at least some noise about all of this. Still. if just one of you end up saving 600 bucks on what ends up being a trashfire carcrash project because of this post, then that'll have made the past 30 minutes of typing this shit worth it.
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i made this post a few days ago and it’s just been lingering in my head for a while (plus y’all seemed to vibe with it lol), i could talk about ponyboy with water trauma foreverrrr
it’s kinda short but here’s soda washing pony’s hair for him post canon :)
darry set the basket of towels fresh from the dryer on the kitchen table and looked over at soda, who was setting his shampoo and conditioner on the side of the sink.
“where do you want these?” he asked, and soda looked over.
“oh, don’t worry about it, i’ll put them out, thanks, darry.”
darry nodded and busied himself with folding another basket of laundry in the living room. he wanted to be close by in case things went south, and they definitely could if soda wasn’t careful.
soda laid a few of the towels out on the cleared-off kitchen counter, rolling one up and placing it next to the sink and setting another by the shampoo to use for drying when they were finished.
“hey, pony, we’re all ready in here!” soda called, no notes of impatience in his voice, just passing along the message.
after a few minutes, pony sidled out of their room, wrapped up in one of his favorite hoodies. it had once belonged to darry and could swallow the kid whole, but he’d been wearing it nonstop since he’d been back home.
“you ready, kiddo?” soda asked, and pony only shrugged. soda smiled playfully, trying to keep things as lighthearted as they could get, “alright, then step on up. maybe take off that sweatshirt, i’ll get you a towel for your shoulders.”
pony hesitantly pulled the sweatshirt over his head and threw it into the basket with the towels, taking the towel soda handed him.
“want the water warm or cold?” soda asked gently, turning on the sink and checking the temperature with his hand.
the three of them had always gone back and forth with taking cold showers, darry insisted it helped him feel more productive and also helped with all of his muscle tension. soda had done it once and decided he would never do it again, but pony would get in the habit during track season, and had been doing it more often since he’d come home.
“warm,” pony answered quickly. “just not hot…”
“you got it,” soda smiled. “in that case, i think we’re ready, c’mon over.”
pony walked over to the counter and hopped up, laying his head back against the makeshift pillow soda had made with one of the towels. he took a few steadying breaths, listening to the water running. he looked up at the sun catcher in the kitchen window that their mother had painted. he could smell darry’s aftershave on the towel around his shoulders. he took a moment to check in with what was happening in his body; unclench his jaw, stop biting his cheek, keep his breathing as steady as it could be.
soda started slowly by wetting his hands and running them through his hair. he was so careful, taking care to keep the water off of pony’s face and out of his ears, not missing the tension in his shoulders or the stony look in his eyes.
“let me know if you need to stop, okay?”
“i know.”
he squirted some shampoo into his hands and started to work it into ponyboy’s mangled hair. he tried as hard as he could to be gentle, but it was so tangled from not being washed for so long and there was so much grease to work through, compounded over two weeks of improper care.
it was heartbreaking work. it made soda’s heart ache knowing how badly ponyboy had to be feeling if he couldn’t take care of his hair. of course, it wasn’t the same hair he had left home with. it was dried out and chopped awkwardly, soda still felt a little shocked every time he saw pony out of the corner of his eye.
pony flinched when soda worked out an especially tough knot, and soda frowned, “sorry, kiddo, i’m almost done.”
he rinsed out the shampoo as quickly as he could, giving the same treatment with the conditioner.
he couldn’t help but cringe at how botched johnny’s bleach job had really been, some patches a perfect platinum blond and some a bright yellow. pony had called it a halloween costume he was stuck in.
soda’s stomach gave an uncomfortable lurch as he carded his hands through pony’s dried out ends and saw pieces of his auburn-brown roots starting to come in. it made him feel strangely at peace with the whole thing. their whole world had stopped, or at least it seemed that way, and yet ponyboy’s hair still grew. the world still spun, and with each passing day, the weight of what had happened to them felt less heavy. one day his hair would grow out and maybe he would let them cut it, maybe he would let that part of his pain go.
they were in no rush, they would let it take all the time he needed it to, but it was comforting all the same to know that with every passing day, with every breath, they were getting close to things feeling better. one day closer to the reality of all of their pain not being so fresh.
soda finished up rinsing out the conditioner, shut the water off, and grabbed the towel from the other side of the sink, wringing out the water from pony’s hair. he sat his little brother up on the counter, drying his hair as gently as he could.
he grabbed pony’s face in his hands when he had finished, holding his gaze, “you alright, honey?”
pony swallowed thickly and nodded, “can i have my hoodie?”
soda gave a tight-lipped smile, “of course. do you wanna go sit with darry?”
pony nodded again, shrugging the towel off his shoulders and hopping off the counter. soda handed him the hoodie, warm from the towels, and pony clumsily pulled it over his head, quickly pulling the hood off his wet hair. soda cleaned up the excess water from around the sink as pony dragged his feet over to the couch and flopped down next to darry, his knees tucked into his stomach and his head comfortably laid back against darry’s chest.
darry threw an arm over pony’s shoulders and pulled him into his side, resting his cheek on the top of pony’s head. soda came over after cleaning everything up and piled in next to pony, effectively crushing their baby brother between them.
“you feel better now that that hair is clean?” darry asked, messing it up a little for good measure.
“mhm,” pony nodded, sinking down into the couch and almost burying himself in the material of the hoodie.
“good, can we get you anything?” soda asked.
pony shook his head, “‘m tired.”
“okay,” soda leaned over towards the coffee table and turned the radio down before snuggling back in with his brothers. “you can rest, baby, we’re right here.”
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a personal milestone 🥳 + author's note
i finally made it 😭 (there is probably another 10k sitting in my drafts, but i have always tracked word count for this project as a sum of already-published installments)
also a (somewhat long) journal entry below:
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This has been the main project in my life for almost two years, now (I started writing on 1.26.2023). It's my first proper attempt at a novel, and it's one of my first times ever posting original work anywhere 😭
It's hard to say how I feel now, perhaps because I feel too much.
Where to go from here? I considered dropping the series entirely before I hit the milestone because I was very tired. In a way, I felt like I had said everything I wanted to say. But I think I also love this series a lot more than I can properly verbalize.
To be completely honest, writing this series was so lonely. To work for so long on something that I could not show to nearly anyone irl (not family, not close friends, not peers, not strangers I met who I talked to about art); to spend hundreds of hours on something that I could only ever post to a small subset of people... all of that was very lonely. I'm sure other creatives have felt this way too.
And at the same time, hearing what people on snzblr thought became probably the most potent source of happiness in my life (is that pathetic? Maybe so.) I don't think this project was self-sustaining at all; I think to some extent, I wrote it because I wanted to hear people tell me that they liked it. I realize this is a terrible and unsustainable reason to create art, but that's the truth.
On some level, though, I kept writing because I loved Y+V. They've been at the forefront at my life for almost two years now 😭 I spent a long time teaching myself how to write them, and a lot of the themes & choices in the series are quite personal. Embarrassingly, I still want to talk about Y+V all the time.
When I posted to ask if I could send my unfinished/unpolished WIPs, some people reached out to offer to read them... and then I never sent anything over to anyone. I think a part of me could not get it through my head that people would be willing to read something completely unpolished, because... well, frankly, a lot of my drafts are just pretty unreadable; I typically only post things that I have already cleaned up. More importantly, I felt like sending my drafts to people—even people who had given me explicit permission to send them!—was selfish and troublesome.
On some level, I also felt the same about asking others to brainstorm with me: I felt like I was asking them a favor which I did not know how to pay back. Perhaps this is just another way in which I have been cruel/uncharitable to myself, but I never imagined people enjoying receiving my drafts. I could never convince myself that for those people, giving feedback/discussing ideas might not actually be a chore. I was always scared to make writing less of a lonely process because I could only think about how easy it would be for me to ask too much.
This is probably the most honest I've been about this particular subject 😭 I am not good at gauging what constitutes 'too much.' I feel like I can get carried away when someone expresses interest, so I try to preemptively position myself as someone who does not impinge on others... I think that even outside of this series, I have defaulted to this pattern of trying to give and trying not to ask. In that particular sense, I am perhaps to blame for my own loneliness.
Anyways! Recently, I've gone back to (tentatively) writing after months of not writing. I'm not sure if I will post another installment here (maybe if the drafts are 'good enough', I will?), but it's nice to write without worrying so much that what I am writing needs to be publishable/presentable.
If you have ever left tags/comments on my work, and you are reading this, I am grateful beyond words to you for keeping me company + for making me feel like what I was spending so much time on was a little more meaningful :') I always go back to reread them when I'm in need of encouragement. Thank you sincerely for the happiness. ❤️
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On behalf of people who have vision problems, I'd like to request that the texture use only bold and italics, because for some of us, the different colours are significantly harder or near-impossible to read.
I personally cope OK with small amounts of blue or yellow against the background I use with Tumblr's mobile app, but I just scroll straight past posts with some of the other colours or too much coloured text, because they're just too hard to read. I also scroll straight past posts that use subscript for anything other than short image captions, because even using larger font settings, it's too small to read.
Most of my friends are neurodiverse and though I'm undiagnosed, I probably am too, so I do understand the need to make things easier for folks to keep track of where they are in reading posts. All I ask is that folks don't make it harder for vision impaired people in the process.
listen to me. listen. your actual job in life, and it sucks that your 5th grader teacher didnt explain this adequately enough, is to ask for help when you need it and to accept charity when it would take a weight from your shoulders. Otherwise you end up like Sisyphus- or even worse, Walter White
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Don't Be Kind To It (Homelander x Reader)
The overwhelming amount of love Homelander Only Breaks His Favorite Toys got really hit me in the feels. Some of you asked for a part II, and much like Homelander, I aim to please (and love the praise).
[tags: @helreyy @discowizard88 @slasherho]
This one is lightly inspired by Hozier's "It Will Come Back," and we get a glimpse into Homelander's perspective as well.
Hope you enjoy it! <3
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Don't Be Kind To It
Don't let it in with no intention to keep it Jesus Christ, don't be kind to it
You're a smart cookie. And you know Homelander better than he knows himself. You expect him to stalk you, watch you from rooftops, send you gifts that have an agenda, and force Vought's Crime Analytics department to keep an eye on you.
So, you wait. You listen for the telltale whoosh of air, the crackle of energy that signals his arrival. Every gust of wind sends your heart hammering; every creak of the floorboards makes your blood run cold. You scan the skyline for a flash of red and blue, bracing yourself for the inevitable.
At first, you think he’s just toying with you, letting you stew in paranoia. You brace for him to materialize at the most inconvenient moment, smug and victorious. Yet days turn into weeks, and his absence becomes undeniable. You tell yourself he’s good at what he does—too good—but the truth begins to sink in: it’s not just you. Nobody has seen him.
No staged rescues. No public appearances. Not even a leaked video of him losing his temper. Ashley let slip that his tracking chip went dead 3 days ago. Vought is scrambling to spin the story - a secret overseas mission? A long-deserved vacation?
But the inner circle is panicking. The people who know him best—the ones who know what he’s capable of—are terrified.
Where the fuck is Homelander?
But... another thought creeps in, invasive and unwelcome, like a splinter under your skin.
Isn't he going to fight for me?
The selfishness of it makes you recoil, but it’s there, undeniable and raw. After everything, after all the suffocating control and emotional whiplash, you almost wanted him to stay obsessed with you. To prove that you still mattered to him. To prove that you had power over the most powerful man alive.
The realization is a gut punch. Maybe you’re not as different from him as you thought. Maybe his possessiveness, his need for control, rubbed off on you more than you care to admit. Maybe you’ve become just as twisted as him, longing for attention—even the toxic kind—because it’s better than silence.
And now, silence is all there is.
It wraps around you like a noose, tightening with every passing day. His absence presses on your chest, cutting off your circulation, making it hard to breathe. You tell yourself it’s relief—that this is what you wanted—but the emptiness feels like punishment. You try to convince yourself he’s sulking, biding his time, waiting for the perfect moment to make you regret leaving him.
But the longer it stretches on, the more it begins to feel permanent.
You could care less what this means for Vought. All the company seems to care about is who will lead the Seven now. Should they try to replace Homelander or lean into the “team-first” narrative Ashley has been pushing? PR scrambles to keep the media from asking too many questions, trotting out The Deep and Black Noir to cover for him.
But the public isn’t buying it.
Those who love him are afraid he is hurt. Those who hate him post conspiracy theories about Homelander going rogue - which feels way more accurate.
Either way, if Homelander doesn’t want to be found, no one can find him.
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Your days stretch out unfathomably long. You expected to feel free, to savor the clean air and the wide-open spaces of a world without him. Instead, his absence is louder than his presence ever was.
When he was there, he consumed everything: every thought, every moment, every inch of your life. You hated it, resented it, but at least you understood it. His attention, no matter how suffocating, meant you mattered.
But now there’s nothing.
The silence echoes like a scream, reverberating through every corner of your mind. Every sleepless night, every anxious thought loops back to him. Where is he? What is he doing? Is he coming back?
You start to wonder if this is how he wanted it—to leave you drowning in uncertainty, gasping for closure you’ll never get. Maybe this is his ultimate revenge.
Or maybe…
Maybe he’s broken in ways even you can’t fix.
You almost wish for his cruelty, for the familiar push-and-pull of his twisted affection. Because this? This void where he once loomed so large?
It feels like dying.
No. You have to seek him out. You can't quite tell if it's for his sake or yours... you can figure that out later.
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Monster's Lament
The room is dark, lit only by the faint glow of the moon filtering through cracked blinds. Dust floats in the air, settling over the relics of a forgotten time—old Vought propaganda posters peeling from the walls, a long-dead television covered in grime. It’s quiet here, too quiet, save for the clock that's miraculously still ticking.
Homelander sits slumped in a battered chair, his suit grimy, his cape discarded on the floor in a crumpled heap. His head is in his hands, his golden locks disheveled, the picture of a god brought low.
“You warned her,” a voice says, syrupy sweet.
Homelander doesn’t look up, doesn’t need to—he knows where it’s coming from.
The mirror.
He lifts his gaze reluctantly, and there it is: his own reflection staring back at him, but not quite right. The eyes burn brighter, the teeth are sharper, the smile is crueler. It leans forward as if trying to crawl out of the glass.
"You warned her," it sings again. "But did she listeeeen." "Not now, okay?" Homelander pleads.
The face in the mirror laughs. "Jesus fucking Christ, this is so pathetic. What are you waiting for, for her to come find you? For her to need you?" "She does need me." “Oh, sure. Because you gave her everything. The flying, the fancy dinners, the cape-flipping bullshit. But what did she give you?” It leans closer, its grin widening. “Pity. That’s what. You wanted love, and all you ever got was pity.”
“That’s not true,” Homelander growls, but his voice wavers.
“Isn’t it?” The reflection tilts its head, almost playfully. “She stayed because she felt sorry for you. The broken little boy in the big man’s body. She didn’t love you, not really. She loved the idea of fixing you. And when she couldn’t—”
“Shut up!” Homelander’s voice cracks as he lurches to his feet, his hands trembling.
The reflection’s grin doesn’t falter. If anything, it grows wider. “What’s the matter, Johnny? Don’t like the truth?”
He stands frozen, a deer in headlights. He never learned to deal with complex emotions, and even after all this time, it wraps around him like a boa constrictor, cutting off his air supply and rooting him to the ground.
And the reflection starts to sing. “Don’t feed me, honey. Don’t be kind to me.”
The lyrics echo around Homelander, twisting like a blade.
"Don't give it a hand, offer it a soul Honey, make this easy Leave it to the land, this is what it knows."
"STOP IT" Homelander cries.
"Don't let me in with no intention to keep me Jesus Christ, don't be kind to me Honey, don't feed me, I will come back"
"You're supposed to be on MY side." Homelander says. "I am. This is what that looks like," It replies.
Homelander's stares ahead, his fists clenched, his jaw tights, his eyes ready to burn holes into the mirror. The silence stretches, heavy and suffocating.
Homelander closes his eyes, but her face is there, burned into his eyelids. The way she looked at him—like he was more than the sum of his power, more than the monster everyone else saw. He hates her for it. He loves her for it.
“Why did you leave?” he whispers to himself.
The reflection’s smile vanishes. For a moment, it almost looks… pitying.
“Because you allowed it,” it says simply.
The words hit like a punch to the gut.
"She fed you ONCE. And you kept going to her like a stray fucking dog. You took her mercy and her love and you became weak. Nobody wants weakness, Johnny." It leans forward, smiling, canines gleaming, "Whatcha gonna do about it?"
Homelander looks at the ground. Shame and desperation wash over him, and he blinks tears back.
"You're going to claim her. And you'll make sure she never, ever leaves again. Right?"
Homelander doesn't look up from the floor.
It gets irritated. "Right?"
Silence.
It rolls its eyes. "Do you want ME to do it?"
Homelander looks up, hope obvious in his bright blue eyes.
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You don’t intend to start looking for him. It just… happens.
It begins with small, idle habits—clicking on articles about Vought’s latest scandals, scrolling through old news coverage, and watching grainy footage of staged rescues from years past. Your eyes search for him automatically, for that familiar streak of red and blue cutting through the chaos.
Then it escalates.
You start wandering the city at night, tracing the paths he once flew you along. You visit the rooftops where he used to land with a flourish, his cape billowing dramatically in the wind. You linger outside the exclusive restaurants where he once paraded you like a trophy, his smile razor-sharp as he soaked in the envy of the other diners.
But it’s not just the glamorous places.
You walk down seedy alleys and explore dark corners—the forgotten places he claimed as private retreats. The places where he could let his guard down, where the mask of America’s golden boy slipped.
It feels grotesque, this act of seeking him out. Like you’re willingly feeding the monster you swore you’d escape. You hate yourself for it, for the way your heart leaps at the thought of seeing him again, even if it’s just to tell him to his face that you’re done.
But you can’t stop.
You start putting yourself in danger—not consciously, but recklessly enough that it’s obvious even to you. Walking alone through neighborhoods that turn predatory after dark. Taking late-night trains without any plan or destination. Part of you hopes he’ll swoop in, cape flaring, to save you in one of his dramatic displays of power.
But he doesn’t.
Instead, one night, it’s Black Noir who finds you.
The alley is suffocatingly narrow, the air heavy with the mingling stench of rotting garbage and damp asphalt. The dim, flickering streetlight overhead barely illuminates the passage as two men circle you like predators. Their laughter is low and ugly, their shadows long and distorted against the brick walls.
You freeze, your breath caught somewhere between a scream and a sob, as one of them lunges toward you. You pray even now that he'll swoop in from somewhere.
And then he’s there.
Black Noir steps from the shadows like death itself. His arrival is so silent, so abrupt, that the men don’t even notice him until it’s too late. A gloved hand clamps down on one man’s shoulder, spinning him around with an almost casual effort. Noir doesn’t waste time. The blow is swift, brutal—a single strike to the man’s temple that sends him crumpling to the ground.
The second man barely has time to react, stumbling backward with a terrified curse. Noir closes the distance in an instant, his movements fluid and precise. A sharp crack echoes through the alley as the man’s arm is wrenched at an unnatural angle. He screams, but Noir silences him with a swift knee to the ribs. He falls, gasping and broken, as Noir turns to you.
The black Kevlar of his suit gleams faintly in the dim light, the contours of his armor making him seem more shadow than man. His helmet hides his face entirely, the opaque visor reflecting your terrified expression back at you. He stands perfectly still, his chest rising and falling with controlled breaths, his presence both menacing and oddly comforting.
You crumble to the ground, your legs giving out beneath you as adrenaline and fear collide in your veins. Relief washes over you, but it’s tainted by something darker—frustration, disappointment, an aching sense of abandonment.
Noir kneels on the ground to make sure you're okay.
“Why—why isn’t he here?” you sob, your voice breaking. The words spill out of you, raw and unfiltered, as you pound your fists weakly against Noir’s chest.
He doesn’t move.
“Why won’t he come for me?” you cry, your hands trembling against the hard, unyielding surface of his armor. “He’s supposed to be here. He’s always here.”
Noir doesn’t answer. Of course, he doesn’t. He simply stands there, a silent sentinel as your emotions spill over in a torrent of tears and ragged gasps. His helmet tilts ever so slightly, as if he’s observing you, but he offers no comfort, no words of reassurance.
You clutch at him like a drowning person reaching for a lifeline, your fingers curling around the slick fabric of his suit. The tears come harder now, soaking into the Kevlar as you press your face against him.
“I hate him,” you whisper through clenched teeth, though the bitterness in your voice is softened by the despair in your heart. “I hate him for leaving.”
Noir stands up, lifting you with him, and lets you go once he's sure you're standing straight. His silence is maddening. Why isn't he angry that you're being ungrateful? Why isn't he at least talking about Homelander disappearing? ANYTHING?
You finally step back, your hands trembling as you wipe at your tear-streaked face. Your gaze meets Noir’s visor, and for a moment, you imagine you see something there—pity, perhaps, or understanding. But it’s gone as quickly as it came, replaced by the blank, inscrutable void of his masked expression.
“Thank you,” you whisper hoarsely, though the words feel hollow. What you really want to say is, Why wasn’t it him?
Noir doesn’t react. He simply steps back, his movements as quiet and calculated as ever, before melting into the shadows.
You’re alone again, the weight of Homelander's absence pressing down on you like a physical force.
But... a thought creeps in. If Black Noir came, then Homelander must know, too. They all have access to the same intel. He knows where you are and what you’re doing, and still—still—he hasn’t come for you.
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GUYS, I think this is going to be a three-parter. Bear with me. The next chapter will be the last. Let me know what you guys think and if you want to be tagged to the third one!
Thank you for all the love 😭😭
#homelander x reader#homelander x you#homelander#homelander fic#the boys#homelander fanfiction#song inspired#i love to suffer#it will come back
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Feelin eepy, need to appear here more
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"fenris hates all mages" counterpoint: he just has beef with Anders Specifically
#this is not supposed to be a Serious And Nuanced Post TM please dont come at me fhdslkjflsf#i just think its funny how they bitchfight#and for the record no i dont think they hate each other#however. i do also believe that they find each other specifically annoying lol#theres at least one other banter i remember where anders brings up mages and fen answers with#actually this is about Just You and not mages in general#(and also another disclaimer i do think the game tries too hard to make the characters too one-track with their opinions)#(and that chances are 'bethany wasnt weak' was meant to mean 'she wasnt possessed or a blood mage and played her part`)#((he did also get on well with bethany tho. so theres that))#but i digress#laya plays dragon age#personally i believe that anders has beef with fenris because he keeps beating him at cardsand fen is smug about it /hj
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New Fernando outfit dropped !! He looks like a s'more....
#i really fuck w this one ngl#i reallllyyyyy like the cohesiveness of the colors!!#idk what i would say the vibe of it is but i like it a lot!#i wanna draw this one maybe 🤔 unfortunately im p busy atm#god it sucks looking at media day pics of him bcs his 'entering the paddock' outfit usually slays#but then the vast majority of the pics are of his changed outfit#where hes often wearing thw most horrendous shoes and sunglasses ive ever seen djkfkglg#well anyways. id probably wear this so :)#idk if anyone has posted these yet#so i might as well bcs i rly like the clothes! its so hard to keep track of the schedule during this gp cause the timezone is so far ahead#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#2024 australian gp
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Later next week, the final shipment of ‘Home’ orders will be shipped out! ✨💕
Thanks everyone for being so patient, I’ve had a great time packaging everyone’s orders up, and I can’t wait for all the books to be on their way!!
#truely thank you to everyone!#sorry I forgot to update Tumblr for a hot second 😭#sometimes with several social media’s it’s hard to keep track of what I posted where#I ended up having way more orders than I planned for#so things have taken awhile between ordering more books fulfilling my other work contracts and other things#I’ve been slowly hacking away at orders around 40 a week#it just takes awhile 😅
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might sound weird to say as a person with a couple ocs who have Big Horrible Event(s) in their backstories or as a person who has like 3 ocs total bc he sucks at writing and as a person who hopes their ocs arent too Boring with [the thing im about to mention] but the thing about writing [characters] and [people] is that like.
any little thing a person experiences can take up their whole existence... its actually something "fun" to experience as i meet new ppl and do more things. My friend had something happen that she'll be talking about forever. I had several things happen last year that ill never stop talking about, some of which other ppl think werent that bad actually. In the same way I'll forever remember about the way my sister accidentally insulted me almost 10 years ago, it's really interesting and Fun to find and assign smaller things like that to characters...its really Real. some people's dealbreakers are other people's solvable problems etc etc
#(as well as the opposite: Big Event that maybe shocks everyone around em but they genuinely werent shaken by)#though this one is more common and leads to those ''ohh i didnt know that was normal oops'' moments#talkys#inspired by recent me and friend events#and also recent events where i told sum ppl more stuff about Thing and they responded as if it wasnt a big deal. but it was to me.#and also how i thought a part of al's childhood backstory was kind of maybe dumb and not realistically as impactful as id expect#but i saw someone on reddit almost word for word write that as their experience and how its shaped em as a person#and thats it like... the small things are boring and hard to keep track of sometimes#its not like you'll include every single little event your oc was shaped by in their bio#but idk. its like Fun to piece together for fun. to mold a human being#ykwim? wld be silly to tell everyone ''oh my oc struggles with self image due to many instances like... when their sister called em ugly''#or write it anywhere but it is fun to Know and have in your head. and its real !#just like if a friend told you about something that happened to em#long post#delete later#sorry i keep saying stupid obvious shit lately ive always been bad at oc making AND socializing so im learning everything late#but anyway yes. idk even as i keep making ocs that are ''similar'' its like. every person so different#people can react to anything in any way for any reason. i love people#this is why i struggle a bit with keeping ocs to archetypes i guess bc like. what is ooc for an oc. people contain contradictions all the#time. you can change yourself at any time.#ok nobody will read this far so ill go to the real insane rambling#part of this has been a part of my chats with talon while trying to get him to share more info#like. yeah ok you're 400+ years old the things that happened to you were such a comparatively small part of your life#but humans dont live as long and think about small things until they die. i dont think time would heal all wounds actually. not all of em#some thoughts just always come to gnaw at your brain. its ok to not be over things. i feel ill never be over some things#and also complainerism can be fun but thats something else entirely wee hee ^_^
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I have officially edited and updated my DP fic recommendation document
I've so far only used it for friends but now I'm wondering if any of you guys would be interested...
#lots of people make rec lists and i sorta feel like i have a lot of the same ones that everyone always does#but also that could just be the curse of knowledge where im like “yeah ofc everyone knows about X Fic!!!”#when in fact maybe they do not :wheeze:#anyway. just wanna gauge if anyone would want it#idk how often ill update the list#i have a shit ton of DP fics on my To Read/Bookmarks and if i haven't read at leaat enough to make a judgment#i dont put it on the rec list#I've been mostly focused on working on getting through my unread book collection at home rather than fics atm BUT#the list is both a way for me to keep track of my fave fics and also when friends outside the phandom wanted a rec i could ask what#flavor of thing they wanna read and then pick something or send them the doc so they could pick#Everytime I work on the list I start thinking so hard about fics I read years ago or on FFnet and I can't remember the names#Or more than a few scenes....#Rip the real ones from back in the day#I'll at some point be making a new pinned post and so if people do want this I'll post it and then link it in my pinned post#so it's easy to find#danny phantom fanfiction#Danny Phantom fanfic recs
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#need to be held#everyone holds you differently....#so craving the kind of holding that you'll likely never get again because you got broken up with by that person is... hard. really hard.#17 days is not enough time to be better from a breakup.#i can act like im doing fine around others#i can fill my days with all sorts of things to do.#but in the slow parts#the parts filled only by my thoughts and my longing?#the hurt leaks out. drips and drops.#its not a thing where the hurt will ever truly go away. it meant too much to me for that. but i'll do my best to grow around it.#extra challenging part is that i'm trying to be friends with her still while my emotions are probly not processed enough.#i don't have a great track record of staying in touch with exes. i hope things with her turn out differently than my past times.#to those who have been reading these vent tag posts#sorry if i keep repeating the same things.#my sadness has a cyclical nature to it#or so it would seem.
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Song of the Day: November 22
“What Kinda Gone” by Chris Cagle
#song of the day#so close to asleep but I dragged myself in to post this before I tell myself again that one more day won't hurt anything#having a hard time but keeping in touch with folks only ever makes me feel better and I should remind myself of that more often#also the other half the point of the songs of the day is to help me keep track of time#and I've got my list (and my playlists on spotify. should put the share link up here for y'all tomorrow. I'll try to remember)#so I've got my list of what songs belong to each passing day but without writing down the notes about them in these tags#I'm dependent on my memory alone to keep them fixed as points in time and not just lines in my list#and you know if the memory could keep track of points in time without written notes then I'd have done that in the first place#anyhow today I sang half of many songs but 'What Kinda Gone' is always a good quick bouncy distraction#and it reminded me that a while back--end of July--I had a day where the song was 'Gone As You' by Corey Kent#and I had wanted to ask Del something in particular about I-35#which is namedropped in the song (in a line it took me entirely too many repetitions to parse) and made me think about /something/#I just don't remember now what it was. maybe just if you've ever driven it?#I've crossed it but we were never really moving north-south along anywhere I-35 runs#only ever east-west along 70 through Kansas and 10 and 20 through Texas. once notably 40 across Oklahoma. such clouds there#now I'm sleepy and rambling about interstates because of my country music. how American of me#if I remember later what I've forgotten since July I'll have to come back and edit this post#Del if you have any noteworthy thoughts about I-35 South please share
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trying to sort our simplyplural but there's enough of us that we need to use smthn like a spreadsheet to do that. but also. how tf do we sort source categories when we have so many multifictives
#like. we want to organize all of this stuff in a table and be able to sort each column to return them in alphabetical order#that way when we want to make sure a source folder has everybody in it we just sort for that particular source#but when so many of us have multiple sources how do we. sort for that#i dont want to make multiple source columns bc that will make the sorting uneven between columns#i don't want to put all the info in the same cell bc stuff that comes later in the cell won't get sorted at all#we can't just sort sources by category too bc a lot of our multifictives are entirely sourced from the same category#like our minecraft fictives who have travelled between smps in their source memories (SAUSAGE. FUCKING SOURCES GEORG)#and don't even get me started on the various tag categories that we all sort into as well like species and magic types#so many of us are hybrid species like i think a huge majority of us are multiple species at once#the easiest way we found out to do this is. write books in minecraft and copy the books into multiple sets of bookcases#but that gets so hard to keep track of after a while#and if we miss some info in a certain book we have to go through and edit or replace every single version of the book#which. oh my god. SAUSAGE. IS SO IMPOSSIBLE. SOURCES *AND* SPECIES GEORG SIR STOP#WHY ARE YOU THE ONLY AFTERLIFE FICTIVE WHO DIDN'T SPLIT OFF INTO MULTIPLE VERSIONS OF THE SAME GUY#literally the only minecraft fictive we have with ZERO doubles. even Grain has at least one double 😭😭#oh Eth also doesn't have any doubles somehow he just simultaneously exists in all worlds at once#he doesn't even have a whole timeline of where he travelled like sausage he just Shows Up Places.#how the hell did you get to the Seaside au. most of those guys are literally post-fictives and have migrated to parative instead 😭
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in all the weekend excitement i momentarily forgot that japanese is, in fact, hard for english speakers to learn and understand
#mine#trying to figure out the lyrics to the song i posted recently plus 7 million other songs#and i KEEP GETTING LOST#too hard to keep track of whos doing what and when and where and what anything means#when i read translations online and dissect them it all makes perfect sense#but when i try to do it myself... -_-!
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wish there was a blog or website that just had a fun 'this piece of media passes the bechdel test!' because im so curious sometimes lol. like i look it up and see theres some for movies but not for shows or video games or comics etc etc yknow
#like. i havent been keeping track but i dont know if the show im watching passes it lol#i say 'fun' cause its mostly a nonserious test lol like its not a requirement for something to be good or anything#its just like. 'oh cool they had at least one moment where 2 womens lives werent somehow defined by men!'#man im blanking so hard but i remember watching some sort of comedy thing where 2 women were fighting and talking about men#and one stops and goes 'wait we need to pass the test quick uhh how about the weather?' 'oh yeah its nice' 'yeah! ok anyway'#and then they went back to fighting lol#my post#bechdel test
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