#it’s great and all to feel regulated in that way but when it makes me feel eepy as hell I DONT WANT ITTTT
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televisionenjoyer · 8 hours ago
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Ok wait because I've gotten the outfits complaint way too often so maybe I'M insane let's ask the people shall we
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Regarding everything else ↓
When I say Taylor Swift is the embodiment of, I'm not referring to her morality as a person, but to what her brand represents for people.
Taylor is an artist who has in the past fought the music industry war, so I feel like saying these things are "out of her control" and release her from any responsibility is disrespecting all the effort she went through to stand up against Scooter Braun and regain ownership of her masters. She has gone to great lengths to make sure she has as much control and ownership of herself and her brand as possible. Her deal with Republic/UMG was notorious for giving her liberties that were unprecedented for most artists at the time.
So like, sure, the label has the right to produce merchandise as they see fit, but also, she's Taylor fucking Swift. She could go independent, she could change labels anytime (any label would be stupid not to have her) she could just make one public statement, one small tweet like "hey I don't agree with what my label is doing." For someone who once prided herself on using her platform to take a stand for her beliefs (see: miss americana) her silence inclines me to believe she isn't too pressed about this particular issue.
Ultimately just want to say that I agree that the people in the music industry, the execs, management, etc, all SUCK. following that line of thought they all benefit from the sales and overall popularity of the product they sell. Therefore and as previously stated on the notes of this post I PERSONALLY choose to regulate and even cut my consumption of these, as you so called, "big artists", as a PERSONAL CHOICE to boycott this phenomenon. and the rant above is my PERSONAL ASSESSMENT of the current state of the music industry, taking the most streamed artist of the year as a pretty solid reference point.
I don't care for the quality of music made by Taylor Swift anymore I care that she has become the embodiment of overconsumption. New outfits every show new shoes every show new slave-made merch every other Sunday new version of my new disc that is exactly like the old version but with a different cover that you should definitely buy new deluxe version that is exactly the same but has 30 seconds of me farting new meet and greet you can pay a thousand dollars for new private jet new guitar new designer clothes at the latest chiefs game new music MORE MUSIC MORE STREAMING new vinyls actually here are some newer vynils new candles to set your room on fire with new fucking. I don't know. Taylor Swift playstation five. Might as fucking well.
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stardust-kitten · 1 year ago
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nothing like having to house multiple redbulls just to be able to make your dumb broken brain actually do the things you want it to!!!!!!
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insanechayne · 1 year ago
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~ ~ ~
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vienssunshine · 1 year ago
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It's Too Much
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pairing: Choso Kamo x fem!reader nsfw: dom!reader, inexperienced!Choso, premature ejaculation word count: 1.5k author's note: this idea took third place in the poll, but i was extra inspired from a tiktok my friend sent me description: Choso has been touch-starved for so long that, when you touch him, it can be a lot, maybe even too much
Choso has never felt another's body against his own that wasn’t attempting to hurt him. For all 150 years he’s been alive up until he met you, physical contact meant pain. But now, he’s beginning to learn that that isn't completely true.
There are similarities between a touch of pain versus…pleasantness might be the word—he hasn’t sorted it out completely yet—as a feeling lingers after contact. A strike leaves an aching bruise, the afflicted area reminding him of the injury whenever the slightest pressure is applied, but when you place a gentle hand on Choso’s shoulder while speaking to him, it leaves behind something entirely different. 
The best way he can describe the initial feeling is as a warmth, and not just due to the intrinsic heat from where your flesh meets his, but one that swells in his chest and spreads out to the rest of his body. After you leave, your touch doesn’t require a mark on his skin or a painful sting like a bruise needs to be remembered, rather, the outline of where your fingers laid on his shoulder simmers on his skin for the rest of the day. 
You fluster him with your casual touches–placing your hand on his forearm or leaning your head on his shoulder–but it helps him work up the courage to start acting on his own desires to feel you. He appreciates how you let him take his time as he explores the little things, like the feeling of holding your hand, intertwining his roughened fingers with yours. He looks up to your face, making sure what he's doing is okay, and you give him a gentle smile, telling him he's doing great. There is that warmth in his chest again. He realizes he likes the feeling of you praising him—a lot. 
Soon, he starts asking for more: to cup your cheeks, pet your hair. One day, he asks to hold your body against his on the bed, feeling your softness and warmth while working hard to regulate the influx of emotions your proximity inspires. Yet, it gets the better of him and he asks something that’s been on his mind for a while: if he can kiss you.
You accept, of course, and with your lips so soft and sweet, things quickly develop, escalating to the point where you are on top of him, straddling his big legs, and kissing down his bare chest to his waistband. He tries to keep still, but your lips feel so good and his hips betray that, gently thrusting up and into you.
“S-sorry,” Choso says, “I…I can’t control it.”
You look up from his chest. “It’s okay, Choso,” you say as you drag your hands down his abs to his waistband, deepening the pink dusted upon his cheeks, “It seems like you want more.” 
“Mhmm,” Choso whimpers, watching as you tuck your fingertips into his waistband and pull it down, freeing his sensitive erection.
Your hands wrap around his length and his eyes flutter closed in bliss. Being touched there is a new sensation for Choso and it’s stirring up a feeling he hasn’t had much experience with.
He thinks it’s arousal, which is, according to Mahito, what causes humans to “fuck.” But Mahito always spoke about fucking in a negative light, describing it as disgusting, primal thing humans do. That perspective doesn't make sense to Choso anymore because whatever you are igniting in him, if it is that aroused feeling Mahito described, feels so good he thinks he would die if you stopped. 
“Do you like this, Choso?” you ask as you stroke him. Hearing his name fall so sweetly from your lips sends a shiver through Choso’s body. 
“I-I do,” he says, moaning when you pay special attention to his pink tip, stimulating the sensitive area with your fingers in a tight circle. He’s been unconsciously bucking his hips up into your fist, chasing more of this unfamiliar sensation that has pressure to build up in his stomach.
“Then, would you like it if I put it inside of me?” 
He hadn’t considered that as a possibility, already so pleasure-drunk from feeling your palm against him, but there’s no way he can refuse your offer. 
“Yes. Yes—fuck—please do that.”
“Alright, Choso,” you say, getting off of him, “You just sit still, okay?” 
His breathy whine tells you that the last thing he wants to do is sit still. You smile, he looks so cute when he’s desperate.
“Just a little bit longer,” you say, intentionally moving slower than necessary just to see how long the poor curse can hold out.
He watches as you pull down your underwear, and the second you remove it, he grabs you by the wrist and pulls you back on top of him. Then he’s pressing hot, sloppy kisses to your neck, devouring it like a man starved. His passion and intensity make up for his lack of experience, though you note he’s getting the hang of it.
Choso’s barrage of affection is halted by a surprised gasp when you grip his erection and align yourself with it. The hunger in your eyes reminds him of how out of his element he is, but he doesn’t let it scare him, rather, he lets it feed his desire of making you feel as good as he does. 
You hold the tip to your entrance and Choso’s breath hitches when he feels the wetness and warmth of your hole. Slowly, as to not overwhelm, you sink down on him, and he moans—sweet and unbridled—from the way your walls hug him. 
“I’ve—hah—never…felt something like this,” he says, eyes pressed closed, wrinkling the thin black mark running just underneath them. 
Your hands fall onto his built chest as you make it all the way down on him, driving the entirety of his long, slender dick deep within you. His hands fly to your hips when it happens, but then one grabs for your wrist on his chest, circling his fingers around it, needing you to help him through this new sensation. 
“Feels good?” you ask, your voice breathy.
“Feels s’good,” he says, “Too good.” He shifts around underneath you; the pressure he was feeling earlier when you were touching him is becoming inescapable, sweeping through his stomach like a vicious undercurrent. 
“I’m going to start moving now, 'kay?” you say. 
Choso nods but is woefully unprepared for when you begin to lift your hips up and down, pushing his length through your gummy walls. Your movements on top of the information already flooding his senses–your warm skin, rapid heartbeat, fluttering eyes—it's so overwhelming. His head falls back, and even though you’re going at such a slow pace, it feels like your walls are milking him, intent on making the tightness in his core snap.
Choso knows it’s too much for him, but watching your eyes close in pleasure and your fingers dig into the skin on his chest, it makes him want to keep going, to not cum just yet. But with the sight of you naked on top of him and the way your insides are squeezing him, not cumming is a near impossible task. He wants to do a good job for you, to hear you tell him that, but he's sure he won’t last. 
“Fuck, I’m s-ah-sorry,” Choso whines, “I can’t…if you keep moving, I can’t-“ 
“You’re gonna cum already, Choso?” you ask, a wickedness in your voice, “You feel that good?”
You’re teasing him, despite how you find your view beyond erotic: he’s a squirming mess underneath you, with his eyebrows pressed together, face flushed with warmth, and fingers tight around your wrist as he just fights the urge to cum.
“Yes—ngh—you feel s’good, s’good-I’m sorry,”—you feel his cock twitch inside you—“I can’t, I’m sorry, m’gonna-“
He groans, thrusting his hips up into you with a force that requires you to grab onto him to stay put, and empties his load deep inside you, sweet moans interspersed with apologies.
You’d be more disappointed in him for not lasting long, but with this being his first time in a while, you’re willing to forgive—especially after being treated to his endless, pretty noises.
When he comes down, you press a kiss on his cheek, “Too much, Choso?” you ask.
“I’m sorry, you just felt so good,” he says in between pants. His poor body is shaking, his chest is heaving, and a pink flush burns all over his pale skin. 
“It’s okay,” you say, “I enjoyed that.” Only, you wish you had been able to cum, too. Seeing him writhe underneath you has your cunt aching for attention.
He sits up, and you feel his cock move inside you. “Still, I wanted to last for you.”
“Sweet boy,” you say, pushing a few strands of dark hair out of his face, “You did great. I know it’s been a while since you’ve done anything like this.” 
He’s still pouting, but his frown turns into a smile when an idea hits him. He flips you over with ease—sometimes you forget how strong he is—and pulls out of you, keeping your legs open so he can bring his face down to your cunt, wetness mixed with his own cum seeping out of it. 
He presses a kiss to your inner thigh. “Let me make it up to you, I haven’t gotten to feel you on my tongue yet.” 
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lulunothulu · 4 months ago
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“In sickness and health”
Tyler Owens x Reader
Summary: you’re sick and Tyler makes you feel slightly better 🥰
Content: PURE FLUFF, and some sickness lol
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GIF from Pinterest credit to the OG maker 💗
Your head was throbbing when you woke up. Your body aches every time you move and your nose was runny.
Great, you were sick.
Of all the days that you wake up feeling like absolute dog shit, your body decides it wants you to suffer.
What was so important about today? It was yours and Tyler’s first wedding anniversary.
You felt terrible, this was the first anniversary you both happen to be together to celebrate and you were sick.
You pull your hair down from its messy bun and sigh in front of the mirror of your bathroom. “Maybe a shower will help.”
You turn the shower on, waiting for it to warm up and then stepping in once your clothes are in a pile on the floor.
You scrub your body slowly, sighing when you have to sit down on the shower floor to wash your feet and legs. It feels nice down there.
It was a mistake.
You wake up with the shower still spraying you with hot water and Tyler standing over you, eyes full of worry.
“Baby?” He asks.
“Did I fall asleep?” You ask hoarsely.
He nods, turning the shower off and grabbing a towel from the rack. “I walked in to surprise you and you were slumped in the floor.”
“I’m so sorry,” you tell him, wincing when he lifts you into his arms.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m just sore,” you tell him. “My body and head hurt.”
Tyler lays you on the bed before helping get dry and dressed in your pjs.
“You need to regulate your body temperature before I take your temperature for a fever,” he instructs you. “Just lay here and I’ll go shower.”
That’s when you fully notice that Tyler was in his clothes—flannel shirt clinging to his body and dripping onto the floor. 
“I’ll be right back,” he tells you, kissing your forehead.
You only nod because the energy you have left was used to get yourself into your pjs.
———
Tyler gets out of the shower ten minutes later to see you sprawled out on the bed, fast asleep.
He smiles, kissing your forehead after he gets dressed in a pair of sweats and Texas Longhorns t-shirt. “Jesus, she’s burning up.”
Quickly, Tyler goes in the linen closet and grabs a rag before running cold water over it and squeezing the excess water out. He makes his way back to you and places it gently in your head, smoothing your hair down.
Once he sees you’re doing fine with the rag on your head, he heads downstairs to the kitchen. Grabbing carrots, celery, an onion, and some chicken, Tyler starts to make some homemade chicken noodle soup for you.
It’s what his mom used to do for him when he was sick, and he knew it would help you feel better.
After thirty minutes, the soup is simmering on the stove and Tyler needs to check how you’re doing. He walks back upstairs and smiles when he feels the rag on your head.
It’s still fairly warm and you’re sweating, which means your fever has broken. He grabs the Tylenol from the bedside table before filling a glass with water from the carafe on the dresser.
“Sweetheart,” he gently says, shaking you awake. When you open your eyes, he smiles and says, “Can you take this?”
You nod, popping the Tylenol in your mouth and swallowing it down with the water. “Thank you.”
“I have some soup on the stove, do you want me to bring it to you?”
“No,” you croak. “I can go downstairs with you.”
Tyler nods, sweeping you into his arms before carrying you down the stairs and gently placing you on the plush couch.
“I’ll be right back,” he tells you.
When he comes back in a few minutes later, he has a tray with a steaming bowl and a glass of orange juice on top. He places it on your lap before sitting beside you on the couch.
“Eat up, baby.” He kissed your temple before standing and putting on a movie for you to watch while you eat.
He walks back into the kitchen, sighing to himself before grabbing the flowers he’d brought you and putting them in water. You’d have to marvel at them later when you feel a bit better.
“Tyler?” You call out. He makes his way back into the living room to see you looking up at his with sad eyes. “I’m sorry I’m sick on our anniversary.”
“Shh,” he coos with a smile, taking a seat beside you again. “It’s okay, I just wanted to spend the night with you.”
He tilts your head back before kissing your lips, warm and tasting like the soup he’d made you.
You pull away smiling. “I don’t want you to get sick.”
“Hey, I chose to be with you in sickness and health. If I get sick then so be it.”
You close your eyes, kissing him again. When you pull away, you smile up at your husband. “I love you so much, Ty.”
“I love you too, Sweetheart,” he tells you. “Don’t feel any better?”
“I do,” you smile. “I would’ve felt better if you were just here with me anyway.”
“Good,” he smiles. “Now, what do you wanna watch after Toy Story?”
You shrug. “Might as well finish the whole thing.”
———
Halfway into Toy Story 3, you’ve fallen asleep again this time leaning on Tyler’s shoulder. He kisses your head with a smile before laying your head on his lap and stroking your hair.
Sleep was a necessity, especially now that you were sick. Tyler didn’t mind you sleeping. He would’ve been happy if all you wanted to do was sleep your way through your anniversary, as long as he got be around you.
Once the movie finished you slowly sit up and rub your eyes. “Did I fall asleep again?”
“You did,” Tyler smiles. “But that’s fine because you didn’t get to see me cry when Andy drove off.”
You chuckle, snuggling Tyler’s thighs. “That’s too bad.”
You sigh when Tyler’s fingers rub your scalp and you close your eyes.
“How’s your head feeling?” He asks.
“Much better,” you tell him.
“I think it’s time for your second dose of Tylenol so let me go get that.” Tyler stands, carefully helping you sit up before walking to the kitchen and grabbing the pill.
When he walks back in, you’re seated on one side of the couch and scrolling through the movies on the screen. He hands you the pill with a glass of water before sitting down, lifting your legs to rest them on his thighs.
“Hey, we have to catch up on Sex Education,” you tell him. “Kate said she and Javi were gonna finish the season without us.”
Tyler snorts. “Of course she did. Alright, let’s watch it.”
After a few episodes, Tyler begins to rub a your feet making you moan. “That’s feels so nice.”
“I know,” he smiles.
“Thank you,” you start. “For making me feel a bit better than I was this morning.”
Tyler only shrugs. “That’s my job. As your husband, I’m supposed to make you feel better and take care of you. And you know I don’t half ass anything, when it comes to you.”
“God, that’s so cheesy,” you laugh.
“Cheesy, but true.”
“Kiss me again and tell me you love me,” you tell him.
“Gladly,” Tyler’s says before leaning over and kissing you softly. “I love you, Mrs. Owens.”
You smile. “And I love you, Mr. Owens.”
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khaylin27 · 7 months ago
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So Long, London
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pairing: carlos sainz x norris reader; lando norris x sister reader; a teaser of oscar piastri x reader hehe
series: the tortured poets department
synopsis: when carlos joined mclaren, it was easy for y/n norris to fall in love with him. throughout 2020 to 2023 y/n norris could see that carlos was drifting away from her. this could be due to carlos' suggested depression after leaving mclaren to go to ferrari, him being unready for marriage, and his infidelity towards in their relationship.
warnings: infidelity; depression; mentions of sex; one sided relationship; also let’s pretend charles was with alexandra in 2021 to now
author's note: this is literally my favorite song from the album. it describes a time in my life where i put so much into a relationship but they kept drifting away. hope you guys like it 🥹
2020
I saw in my mind fairy lights through the mist I kept calm and carried the weight of the rift Pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away
It was so easy to love and be in a relationship with your brother's team mate, Carlos Sainz. But once the pandemic hit, you saw the spark of your relationship fade slowly.
"No quiero estar en McLaren más hermosa." I don't want to be in McLaren anymore beautiful. Carlos tells you as he shows you the contract Ferrari sent him for 2021 to 2023.
During the pandemic, you and Carlos were sharing an apartment together in London. He would teach you Spanish so that he can speak to you in his native language. "I thought you loved being in McLaren babe? What would my brother say if you leave?"
"There's no 'if' hermosa. I don't care what your brother says because he was on board with Zack on putting Daniel in my seat for next year." Carlos says angry because you brought up your brother. They've had a great relationship throughout the 2019 to 2020 seasons, but once Lando sided with Zach on putting Daniel in Carlos' seat their friendship tore apart. "My decision is final. I'm going to Ferrari whether anyone likes it or not."
You kept calm and walked to where Carlos was to give him a tight hug. "If it makes you happy babe, I'm with you on this one." He didn't hug you back the same way you hugged him.
You didn't know it at the time but this was the first sign that Carlos was drifting away.
2021
My spine split from carrying us up the hill Wet through my clothes, weary bones caught the chill I stopped trying to make him laugh Stopped trying to drill the safe
Once the 2021 F1 season started and covid regulations lifted, you thought your relationship would get better since Carlos joined Ferrari but it didn't. Ferrari kept him busy with back to back events that you weren't invited to because of your connection with McLaren.
When Carlos would come home from these events, drunk and not mentally there. You knew he would drink himself away due to the depression he was going through after leaving McLaren. You would try to keep the relationship alive by having sex with him. Even though it did keep your sexual relationship somewhat alive, it felt like your spine was going to split from carrying your relationship alive.
Ferrari did invite you to an event after you complained to Alexandra (let's pretend Charles was with her during this time) one time during a Grand Prix weekend. It was a different atmosphere than what you were used to at McLaren. You felt wet through your clothes and chill through your weary bones during the event.
You and Carlos were sitting in a booth with Charles and Alexandra. You smiled at Charles and Alexandra's interactions together. She would always make Charles laugh and it made you miss when you used to do that with Carlos. Making Carlos laugh made it feel safe in your relationship with him, but not anymore.
I didn't opt in to be your odd man out I founded the club she's heard great things about I left all I knew, you left me at the house by the Heath
The event that Ferrari was hosting was in a club in Monaco. Carlos left your booth to get a 'drink' while you were talking with Alexandra and Charles.
"So Y/N how do you like the event?" Charles yells through the loud music.
"It's okay I guess. It's different than McLaren events." You say uncomfortable. McLaren was like home to you, they were family. You left all that to be with Carlos and follow his dreams. Yet you both aren’t happy with leaving McLaren.
Alexandra can tell that you were uncomfortable with the question. "Why don't we go to the bar Y/N?" You nod at her question as she takes your hand to walk together to the bar.
Once you arrive at the bar, Alexandra orders drinks for both of you but you hear something that was interesting. "Girl, I just had the best sex with that one Ferrari driver."
It was two girls that got invited to do press for this event. The other girl asks "Oh my god. Which one?"
"The Spanish one! Let me tell you, he's very good with his hands." You start tearing up as she continues to explain what your boyfriend did to her. It was things that he never did to you. "He told me that he hasn't had sex like that in months."
Alexandra looks at you with the drinks in her hands. She notices the tears going down your face and ruining your makeup. "Y/N are you okay?"
"No, I'm not." You say politely as you wipe your tears. "Is it possible for you to call an uber for me? I want to go home."
Alexandra nods and goes on her phone to reserve you an uber. While she was doing that you were breaking down crying on the bar counter.
I stopped CPR, after all it's no use The spirit was gone, we would never come to And I'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free
Hours after you got home from the event by yourself, Carlos comes home late. Usually you would have sex as soon as he got home to keep your relationship alive, but it's no use. Why would you put so much into him if the spirit he had for you was gone?
"Hermosa, beautiful can we have sex?" He asks drunkenly while your body was turned away from him. "Por favor." please
"No Carlos." You say as you try to go back to sleep.
"Why not hermosa? beautiful You looked so pretty in that dress you wore?" He peppers your arm and back with kisses trying to get you in the mood for sex.
"Carlos stop. I'm pissed off at you right now." You sit up and look at him. You can tell he was drunk because he didn't care that you were crying. "I'm pissed off that I spent so much of my youth on you. We left the only place that we were happy at thinking it was better for you but it wasn’t. Only for you to hookup with a whore at an event while I was there. What happens when I’m not there? Is that why Ferrari doesn’t invite me to anything??"
"I'm sorry hermosa. beautiful It’s just been emotionally draining after the past couple of months." He hugs you.
"I know it's been but you're not helping if you keep doing this." As you wipe your tears you then add. "I thought this move would be better for both of us. Remember how we dreamed of getting married and starting a family?"
"That's not my dream Y/N, that's your dream. My dream is to be World Champion and I won't let any distractions get in my way." It was like a slap in the face when Carlos told you this. All your life you've always wanted a husband and to start a family. You thought it would be with Carlos but it would be a 'distraction in getting World Champion.'
"Goodnight hermosa beautiful Te amo I love you" he says as he hugs you and falls asleep.
And you say I abandoned the ship But I was going down with it My white knuckle dying grip Holding tight to your quiet resentment 
Ever since the night of the Ferrari event, you haven’t been to any Ferrari events or even to the Ferrari garages. Instead you’ve been hanging out with your brother in the McLaren garage.
It was 2021 of the Russian Grand Prix, Lando had spun and grazed the wall on one of his laps that caused him to not win the Russian Grand Prix.
Once Lando gets back into the garage and gets out of his car, you can see the tears in his eyes. “It’s okay little bro.” He pulls you into a tight. You knew that this was race was emotionally draining on him.
“If I just pitted and changed my tires I would’ve won.” He continues to cry.
“There’s nothing you could’ve done Lan. I just thank god you’re okay and nothing happened to you.” You hug him tighter.
“Thank you for being here Y/N.” He says as he pulls away from hugging you. As you both wipe your tears, he looks at the screen and sees Carlos on the podium. “You should go and be with Carlos. At least get to celebrate with him.”
“It’s okay. I’ll wait until he’s done to celebrate with him.” You give him a fake smile in hopes that he doesn’t see that you’re faking it.
Little did you know, you weren’t going to be celebrating with Carlos tonight.
“Why the hell weren’t you with me celebrating my win?” Carlos yells at you while you’re sitting on the couch just staring at him.
“Didn’t think you needed me since that whore was wrapped around you.” You saw the photos that F1 gossip accounts were posting on Twitter.
Carlos looks at you with frustration. “I’m sorry hermosa beautiful but I needed to let off the excitement .” You role your eyes at his response.
“‘Let off the excitement’ you have a girlfriend at home waiting for you.” You explain to him.
“Well you should’ve been around me instead of that girl.” He says putting the blame back on you.
“I was taking care of my brother. Your best friend that could’ve won today but didn’t. At least try to comfort your best friend instead of having whores going around you.”
“I swear ever since that night, you’ve just abandoned me and everything we’ve built.”
You laugh at what Carlos says, “you’re saying I’ve abandoned you and everything we’ve built. Oh honey, I’m just going down with it.”
Your knuckles are turning white as you’re clenching the pillow so you don’t cry in front of this man. “I’m leaving to London to be with Lando. Fix whatever is going on with you to fix this relationship.” You knew deep down that Carlos resented you for what you said that night.
My friends said it isn't right to be scared Every day of a love affair Every breath feels like rarest air When you're not sure if he wants to be there
Once your plane landed in London, Lando was waiting for you at the arrival terminal. After you got your bags and got in his car you explained to him what’s been going on with Carlos for the past two years after he left McLaren.
“That’s not healthy Y/N and you’ve been going through this for two years now?” Lando asks you and you just nod in silence.
“It feels like every day is a love affair. Every breath I took around him feels like rarest air.” You try so hard not to cry in front of your little brother right now but the tears keep pouring. “I’m not even sure if he wants to be in this relationship. It broke my heart when he said he didn't want to get married or start a family because it would be a 'distraction'”
Lando hugs you and more tears start pouring out. “It’s okay Y/N. You don’t always have to be strong for me.”
“I know, but you guys were very close and I don’t want to ruin your friendship with him.” You explain the reason why you didn’t tell him for so long.
“Whether we’re friends or not, he shouldn’t make you feel like that. It isn’t right to be scared in a relationship.” You hug him tighter as the tears keep pouring down.
“I know, but I love him.”
2022
You swore that you loved me but where were the clues? I died on the altar waiting for the proof You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days
After months of you living in London with Lando, Carlos was desperate to have you back. During the 2022 season, you decided to go back with Carlos only if Carlos marries you. Carlos agreed and you both started planning the wedding.
You two decided to plan the wedding in Spain at the end of July during the mandatory summer break. The wedding was going to be beautiful. All of your family, friends, and colleagues would be invited to the big wedding. Sadly, you wouldn't be getting married.
As you're walking down the aisle with your father, you look ahead and see that Carlos wasn't standing at the alter. "Where is Carlos?" Your father asks Carlos Sr. and Reyes, Carlos' parents.
You look at Lando, who was Carlos' best man. "Lando please be honest with me. Where is Carlos?"
"He needed to talk to his cousin, just pre wedding jitters I think." He smiles at you trying to make you feel okay but deep down you knew.
"Carlos is not coming back." Caco, Carlos' cousin comes up to you and the family.
"¿Qué quieres decir con que no volverá? what do you mean he's not coming back" Carlos Senior asks his nephew.
"I tried to keep him here but he wanted to leave." Caco looks at you with sad eyes. "Carlos told me to give you this." It was a note that Carlos hand wrote for you.
To Y/N,
I'm sorry for leaving you on the altar waiting for me. I couldn't get married and get distracted from the dreams I truly wanted. I wish I could do this in a better way and not put you through so much pain. So long Y/N, we had a good run. I know I'm not the one for you hermosa beautiful.
Love, Carlos
You breakdown once you finish reading his note. He 'loved' you but where was the clues? He left you on the altar waiting for the proof. He sacrificed your relationship and the dreams you wanted to achieve together so that he could be World Champion.
2023
And I'm just getting color back into my face I'm just mad as hell cause I loved this place
It took you awhile to start coming back to the races again. Every time you would think about going to a race to support your brother, all you could think about is Carlos. You loved the races but it made you mad as hell cause you loved Carlos.
Lando invited you to the Las Vegas Grand Prix to celebrate his birthday and to watch him race. At Lando's birthday party, you met his new teammate Oscar Piastri. "Oscar this is my sister, Y/N." Lando introduces Oscar to you before he leaves to dj again.
"Hello Y/N, it's a pleasure to meet you. I've heard great things about you from Lando." He smiles at you.
"Oh really? What did he say?" Now you were intrigued about what Lando says about you behind your back.
"For one, he didn't tell me that you were so beautiful." You blush at Oscar's compliment. "But he does tell me how much he misses you being around the paddock. He says you're like the 'warm sun' whenever you're around."
"I know I've been absent in paddock due to what happened last year." You take a sip of alcohol after bringing up your failed wedding. "But I'm back where I've always belonged. McLaren was and will always be family." You say as you smile at Lando and Zack being dj together.
"Well I'm glad you're back and I can't wait to get to know you better." Oscar gets two shots from the bartender and gives you one. He smiles at you and says, "Cheers to new beginnings."
"Yeah. Cheers to new beginnings."
467 notes · View notes
bussyslayer333 · 7 months ago
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‘cause you’re so smooth
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summary: phoenix invites the boys to her salsa class, big mistake.
pairing: bob floyd x fem!reader
word count: 3k+
warnings: swearing, alcohol mentions, suggestive nature lols, me not knowing anything about salsa
my return to writing with a fic i teased over a year ago!! i hope you all enjoy
ps requests r open :p
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“Nix, if you think I want to spend my Sunday evening learning to salsa dance with a bunch of soccer moms then I think your concussion hasn’t healed properly.” Jake sasses in response to Nat’s invitation.
“Yeah, I’m sorry Nat but Sunday is my chill out day, when else am I gonna beat Fitch’s ass on cod?” Fanboy reasons.
Natasha knew it was a stretch asking the boys to join her salsa dancing class, but she thought it was important for them to get out more. At the moment, seemingly all they did was trudge from work to the Hard Deck over and over again.
She sighs, “it would be good for you guys to get out more, y’know?”
“I’ll go, Nat,” Bob smiles, nodding to her from where he is perched on a stool behind her.
“Thank you, Bob.” Nat nods back to him, “the rest of you can suck it.”
“Hey!” Bradley yells as he appears back from the bar, beers in tow, “what did we say about using that type of language?”
“Shut up Dadley,” Nat rolls her eyes as Bradley flicks his tongue out before handing her a beer.
“As much as I’d truly love to attend that class ‘Nix, I’m already a salsa pro and I wouldn’t want you to feel embarrassed about your skills,” Bradley declares, before taking an obnoxious sip of his beer.
“Yeah fuckin’ right, and my dad is prima ballerina,” Jake snorts.
“Let’s not discredit Papa Seresin, I saw him tear Boogie Wonderland up at your sister’s wedding.” Coyote nods.
“Yeah and even that shit was better than what Rooster could pull off,” Jake decides.
Bradley only shrugs at the jibe, a lazy smirk plastered onto his face, which serves only to piss Jake off more.
“Dance off?” Fanboy proposes, standing to head to the jukebox.
“No?” Jake frowns.
Fanboy drops back to his seat with a sigh, “was worth a shot.”
Nat shakes her head with a snort and brings the conversation back to the matter at hand.
“Look it’s fine, I’m just saying I think you guys would enjoy it!” She reasons.
“I’m sure it’ll be fun!” Bob adds happily.
Nat can only sigh at the lack of response.
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Bob is already waiting outside the community centre when Nat arrives, looking down and nervously picking at a thread on the bottom of his gym shorts.
“You ready?” Nat questions, trying to alleviate his nerves.
When Bob looks up his brows unfurl and he lets a small smile sip onto his face.
“Yeah, sure, let’s do this!” He pumps his fist a little awkwardly.
Nat can only chuckle in response as she makes her way to the room at the left of the reception where the class is held. You’re stood by the door chatting with one of the older women in your class when Nat comes into your view.
“Natasha! How’s my best student?” You tease, stepping towards her.
“I’m great, thanks!” Nat blushes before gesturing to Bob, “I hope you don’t mind, I brought a friend.”
Bob sucks in a breath as you finally lock eyes with him. Shit. You were beautiful and those leggings were doing you an undoubted amount of favours.
Sadly, Bob had an incredibly annoying habit he was unable to shake. It was known as “embarrassing himself in front of beautiful women” and that seemed to strike him just as you stuck your manicured hand out to shake his own.
The breath that Bob had sucked in caught in his throat which was drying up increasingly as he took you in, leading to an unprecedented coughing fit doubling him over. What seemed to make it worse was your shocked gasp and immediate move to lean over him and pay his back gently. Bob tried not to focus on your cleavage directly next to his face and instead on regulating his breathing. It was proving difficult, especially when he could hear Nat cackling at his misfortune from behind him.
Once almost fully back to normal, you squeeze his bicep and chuckle,
“I don’t think I’ve ever quite literally taken someone’s breath away!” You giggle, voice oh so sweet.
Bob can’t even let himself feel embarrassed with the way your soft hand feels on his arm.
“I’m so sorry about that,” he cringes.
“Don’t worry about it,” you smile reassuringly.
Nat is growing seemingly agitated by Bob’s lingering near the door so she steers him forwards away from you.
“Best get set up!” She announces, dragging him into the room.
The classroom is spacious, a high ceiling and large windows on the left wall. The wall facing the door is covered in mirrors that amplify the light in the area.
Before Bob can speak up again, two men who look to be in their late 40s rush over towards Natasha. They’re the complete opposite of one another, the first who reaches for Natasha is tanned and has dark curling hair with flecks of grey throughout.
“Natasha! Darling it is so great to see you!” He exclaims with a slight accent, holding her hand in his.
The other has embraced the grey in his hair, he’s relatively pale but has clearly kept his physique, he nods towards Bob with a glint of something in his eye, “I thought he wasn’t your type?”
Nat snorts, clueing Bob in finally on what the two men were hinting at.
“My best friend, boys don’t worry,” she teases.
“Thank God, I’ve been trying to set you up with my niece for how long now?” The dark haired man smiles.
“I know, I’m sorry, I’m always busy at the moment,” she shrugs apologetically before turning back to Bob, “Bob this is Marco and Luke.”
They both shake his hand and size him up as they do so, the grey haired one (Luke) declares.
“He’s cute, Nat, where have you been hiding him?” He prods.
Bob exhales at the approval and watches as Nat breaks out into laughter. “Away from you!”
Marco and Luke break into laughter alongside Nat and Bob can’t help himself but join. Just as they’re all catching their breath, Bob jumps out of his skin again as he feels his hand on his shoulder.
“Boys, we’re being welcoming to our newcomer aren’t we?” You hum.
Your hip is touching Bob’s and the soft skin of your hand on his shoulder has him malfunctioning, luckily he isn’t forced into replying (or choking) this time.
“Of course we are beautiful, what do you think of us?” Marco gasps in faux shock.
“I think that I know what you two are like,” you roll your eyes before making your way to the front of the room.
You send Bob a sly wink before finally beginning, “It’s so great to see you all again!”
Everyone in the room blurts out greetings at you as you begin, “We’ll continue on from last week,” you strut over to the stereo in the corner and a latin pop track floats out into the room and Bob vaguely recognises the tune.
Marco and Luke are quick to start fluidly moving around the floor space and Bob notices that others in the room are doing the same. You make your way quickly over to him and place your hand on the small of his back, straightening his posture.
“I don’t expect you to get it immediately,” you smile into his ear, “we’ll start off with some basics and turn variations.”
Bob hopes you can’t see the nervous perspiration already forming on the back of his neck and nods a little too eagerly at your words. He looks back to Nat for some encouragement but she’s already dancing and chatting with a group of women next to the tall windows.
“I don’t bite,” You giggle, shocking Bob who looks back to see you holding your hand out for him to grab onto.
“Sorry, I’m not the best dancer-” Bob’s self depreciation is swiftly disrupted by you placing his hand on your waist and the other in your own.
“All the more for me to work with,” you smile, and Bob feels himself smiling back.
Although a tad clunky, Bob manages not to step on your toes and has some surprisingly fluid hip movement which intrigues you ever so slightly.
By the last ten minutes of the class, Bob is twirling Marco around as Luke and Nat chat to you about technique.
“What were you nervous about?” Marco probes Bob, “you’re a natural!”
Bob can only chuckle shyly in response and he glances over at your frame. Marco seems to notice Bob’s longing glances and slowly stops their dance.
“Go for it.”
“What?” Bob splutters.
“She’s been making googoo eyes at you the whole time mister, don’t pretend you haven’t noticed.”
Bob reels for a moment at Marcos admission before straightening up. “You think?”
Marco rolls his eyes. “I know.”
Before Bob can reach you you’re already strutting back towards the stereo to lower the volume of the music and gather everyone’s attention.
“Thank you so much everyone! You’ve all been brilliant today and I can’t wait to see you next week!” You beam at everyone.
People begin to gather to chat and start to disperse and you begin to gather your own belongings, stopping to make conversation with others as you do so. Luke and Nat join Bob and Marco with sly smirks on their faces.
“So…” Nat begins, “You’ll be coming back next week I presume?”
Bob flushes at Nat’s knowing look. “Yeah,” he looks to you, “definitely.”
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Bob didn’t mean to let it slip. Like seriously, his lips were so sealed. Air tight.
“But HOW hot are we talking?” Mickey slurs over the nth shot he’d done with Bob at the Hard Deck’s happy hour.
So maybe not air tight.
It was Thursday evening and the rest of the daggers had politely declined drinks with Fanboy, but Bob (the ever dutiful friend) had accepted, hoping to be in and out within the hour. But alas, here they were.
“Fuckin’ smoking,” Bob mimes an explosion with his hands as Mickey nods enthusiastically to his answer.
“I choked on air when I saw her and almost popped a boner during a Justin Timberlake song,” Bob continues to ramble, once given the chance to talk about you he clearly wasn’t going to stop.
“And when is this class?” Mickey slumps closer to Bob, tequila breath hot on his neck.
“Ummmm, Sunday evening at 6 I think?” Bob nods, remembering the details Nat had sent him in a text the week previous.
“Good to know,” Mickey hums, reaching his hand forward to signal for another round, knocking someone’s drink over in the process. “Oops.”
Bob is quick to drag Mickey away from the bar top after that, realising they’d probably overdone it a tad for a weekday evening.
As the cool sea breeze hits Bob’s flushed face whilst him and Mickey wait outside the Hard Deck for their uber, he can’t help but let his mind drift to you, what you were potentially up to, do you teach other classes during the week? Do you dance professionally? God, you definitely could, the way your hips moved-
Bob shook his head, as if to get the image of you stuck in his mind out. He looked to Mickey hanging off of his arm, he was looking to the ground and shaking as if to stave off the imminent vomit that was about to leave his mouth any second now.
“Let’s get you home man,” Bob pats Mickey on the head, dragging him towards their Uber pulling up.
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“Hey, Bob!” Nat yells across the parking lot, catching the back of her friend’s tall frame leant against a pillar near the front of the community center.
When Bob turns around, Nat notices two people next to him who she was not expecting to see.
“Fitch? Fanboy?” Nat cocks her head to the side. “I thought you guys were too busy to come?”
Nat’s accusatory eyes meet Bob’s sheepish expression as he awkwardly clears his throat.
“We heard the teacher was hot as fuck.” Payback shrugs.
Fanboy giggles next to him in excitement, “I’ve been practicing-”
“Bob I swear-” Natasha begins, finger pointing right into Bob’s chest.
“Sup, biatches!” Jake yells, alerting everyone of his and Javy’s presence. “Who’s ready to get their salsa on?”
Nat spins around on her heel, eyes shooting daggers into Jake and Javy.
“Bob, I’m going to kill you.” She states, eerily calm.
“Oh come on Phe! You wanted us here just last week!” Jake exclaims, walking round to slap Bob on the shoulder and greet Payback and Fanboy behind him.
“Yeah! When I wanted you guys to get out and do something productive! Not fuck my lovely salsa teacher, who by the way, was not socialised by wolves! So will absolutely not be charmed by any of you fools!”
With that, Nat turns and walks into the community center, leaving the boys to sprint in after her.
“At least this can’t get any worse,” Nat mutters to herself, pulling the door to your studio open.
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“Are you fucking kidding me?” Nat stills in the doorway, the rest of the boys behind her peeking their heads in.
“What now?” Bob asks guiltily.
Nat opens the door fully and allows the men behind her to file into the studio, where her fellow classmates are stood in a semi circle whooping and hollering at you dancing in the middle with none other than Bradley Bradshaw.
“Fucking Bradshaw,” Jake scoffs, pushing his way ahead whilst checking himself out in the full length mirrors that line the opposite wall of the room.
“Chicken never told us he could dance!” Jake yells over the latin music filling the room, successfully interrupting your dance with Bradley.
Bradley’s head whips to the side at the sound of that familiar ear grating voice. He gives you an apologetic look as he walks over to begin squabbling with a man you presume he knows. The commotion between the boys alerts you to the presence of Natasha and Bob as well as three other unfamiliar men. When Bradley had introduced himself with a smirk and a drawling voice as a friend of Natasha’s you had to wonder whether all of her colleagues were so handsome and by the looks of it, they were.
Nat is quick to walk over to you with an apologetic smile. “I want to apologise in advance for the next hour. They are insufferable.”
You look behind her to where the gaggle of men she calls her close friends are stood, you can see Marco and Luke itching to get their claws in and you have to giggle. This should be interesting.
After instructing the rest of your class to continue practicing the routine you had been working on, you figure it was only fair to come and personally consult your newest joiners.
As the boys (and Nat) notice you wandering towards them, they all begin to elbow each other like school boys giggling amongst themselves. Bob and Nat can only keep their embarrassment internal for so long.
When you come to a stop in front of them, the man you’ve come to learn as Jake smiles dazzlingly and stretches his arms above his head,
“God it is hot in here!” He begins to reach for the bottom of his shirt, aiming to impress you with his toned stomach.
“The A/C is on full blast dumbass.” Nat swats at the back of Jake’s head, causing him to drop his shirt again and rub at his temple. “Ow!”
Snickers fall from Javy and Mickey, who quickly straighten themselves up when they see you casting your eyes over them.
“As I said to Bob last week, with all my new starters I’ll begin with some basics for you guys and then we can ease into a routine,” you smile, heading towards Bradley and Nat.
“Since you two already have some experience you can help me teach!”
Bradley preens under your praise, already assuming the role of teacher’s pet, whilst Nat looks mildly irritated at having to teach her imbecilic friends how to dance.
“Alright guys! let’s partner up!” you shout at them, giggling as they all rush towards you, you note how Bob lingers back behind his more extroverted friends and grin.
“I should clarify, I meant with each other.” You shoo them backwards and watch as they couple up.
Mickey and Reuben clap each other on the back and Javy and Jake nod at one another leaving Bob, stood on his own. You saunter towards him and grab at arm, dragging him to the front with you.
“Looks like you’re with me,” you tease.
“Uh, who do you want me to partner up with?” Bradley scratches at his head obliviously.
You cock your head to the side with a confused laugh.
“I hate you so much right now,” Nat spews, gripping Bradley’s arm and pulling him into position with her.
“Oh, yeah. Right, sorry Nat.” Bradley chuckles.
Your lessons continues with explaining how someone will have to take the lead and the other will follow, and you wander around positioning their hands and postures correctly.
“Javy, you are like a brother to me, but your hands are too fucking low right now.” Jake grits through this teeth.
“Right! Ha, sorry man,” Javy’s hands shoots back up towards the middle of Jake’s back.
Bob is still apprehensive when he places his hands on your waist, but you’re quick to affirm him in his position. Leaning towards him you whisper, “don’t worry you’re still my favourite.”
A smile graces his face at that and he relaxes in your grip.
“Right guys! We’re gonna start with some turns and variations now!”
You quickly learn that trying to wrangle these men is proving difficult, as Payback almost spins Fanboy into a wall after zoning out stating at how your hips moved.
“I’m good bro, don’t worry,” Mickey is quick to readjust himself, hoping the room stops spinning soon.
You can’t help but laugh when Javy attempts to dip Jake to the floor in a move he thought would impress you, but it seems he forgot to account for how tall and heavy Jake is, as he goes toppling down with him.
“Fuck dude! You’re heavy!” Javy groans, rubbing his knee. Jake clearly didn’t take kindly to his words as he shoves back at Javy childishly.
“Boys! Come on get up!” You snap, trying to sound stern but still fighting off giggles.
Jake and Javy are quick to get back on their feet, but you catch them in your peripheral poking and pinching each other when they think you aren’t looking.
Even Bradley who was so light on his feet when he was showing you his moves earlier, is clearly distracted, constantly stepping on Nat’s feet as they practice variations.
“If you step on my toe one more time, Rooster I swear to God, you will not see daylight again,” Nat threatens.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! She’s just so…” Bradley trails off as he watches you dance slowly with Bob, stopping every now and then to correct him kindly or answer questions from others in your class.
“I know! And you guys are scaring her off by acting crazy.” Nat sighs, moving back as she senses Bradley’s feet heading for her toes again.
“I mean I wouldn’t say crazy…” Bradley scratches the back of his neck.
“Well I walked in to see you spinning her around like you’re a pro on dancing with the stars so maybe you should reevaluate.”
“You think I’m that good?” Bradley smirks to himself.
“Oh shut up,” Nat rolls her eyes and looks back to the rest of her friends around the room.
Payback and Fanboy were continually stumbling around in circles as they each try to catch your eye, pissing off everyone else in the room as they bumped and knocked into others. She caught Marco and Luke’s judgy eyes flicking back and forth between her and her friends and groaned.
Jake and Javy looked either one wrong move away from fucking or fighting, Nat couldn’t really tell.
God this was embarrassing.
Luckily, your voice rings out across the room, interrupting her moping.
“Thank you guys for today! And Thank you to my newcomers!” you gesture to the group of men stumbling over each other and stifle a laugh.
“I’ll see you all next week!”
Your regular attenders start filing out slowly, some coming over to chat and collect their things. You can see Nat trying to drag her friends away out they seem intent on lingering long enough to catch some time alone with you.
“You guys might as well go, she clearly wants me.” Jake shrugs, pulling the front of his shirt up to wipe his face.
Mickey is quick to dispute, “Are you kidding me? I twirled like a ballerina, I’m so in.”
Nat is moments away from body slamming her friends who she once loved when it goes silent around her. She figures you finally made you way over.
“Hey guys, thanks so much for joining today! I’m really sorry I’ve got to get going but um- ”
You pause and sense eyes on you.
“Bob, I was just wondering if I could get your number?” you smile, walking towards him and squeezing his arm. “You know, to talk about how we can improve your technique,” your reasoning clear as day even with your coverup
“Yeah! Yes, of course I mean,” Bob composes himself, taking your phone with shaking hands and typing in his number.
“Great,” you wink, retrieving your phone, “I’ll text you.”
You end with that, sauntering past the group and waving goodbye to Nat with a knowing look.
Everyone seems stunned by your words, but mostly Bob who blinks slowly, seemingly still in shock by your acknowledgement.
Nat finally breaks into laughter, doubling over at the confused faces of her other friends.
“Man!” She shouts through her giggles, “you just cannot make that shit up!”
The grumbles around her don’t even phase her as she goes to pick up her bag and head for the door, a group of downtrodden looking men following her and Bob with a newfound pep in his step.
“By the way Rooster, how come you actually are so good?” Nat asks as they make their way into the parking lot.
Bradley stills, silent as he contemplates answering.
“If I tell you, you have to promise to not go searching for anything.” He looks around at his friends.
Following their nods he continues, “I used to compete professionally, when I was like 13, my mom forced me to.” Bradley cringes at the memory of his tween self in sparkly shirts his mom always hand picked out for him in the most hideous colours.
Bradley looks back up to see Jake grinning mischievously at his phone, and his stomach drops.
“Is this you?” Jake smirks, turning his phone around to show everyone an old video on youtube titled.
SALSA NATIONALS 1999 - BRADSHAW / DONNA SUMMER HOT STUFF
Bob suddenly felt as though his coughing fit over you wasn’t the most embarrassing thing he had to witness anymore.
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a/n: it is great to be back gang xx i’ve missed writing and ofc i had to bring back the bob agenda!! it’s what i stand for :) i’m thinking mayhaps a part 2 where i explore the dynamic between sexy salsa teacher and bob bc atm this was just a chance for me to make fun of the daggers 😣
i hope you enjoyed reading and tysm!!
pls reblog, comment or drop me an ask and tell me what you thought!! feedback means sm to me considering i’m a lil rusty
anyways thank u again for reading!!!!
- honey xoxo
840 notes · View notes
meanbossart · 26 days ago
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Ask Compilation: Blondes, feet, bowl-cut guardian lady.
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He did not, they never had sex. But he was in love with her.
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For sure. I think she struck him more like a teenager with the black hair and bangs, after the change (both visual and in attitude) she became a far more mature AND attractive person in his eyes.
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PFFT, well, if you're saying they meet ALL of the criteria, I assume you mean both in looks and personality and hence be damn near his soulmate. DU drow could overlook weird feet (and a lot of other things, actually) if he were in love with the person in question. He would probably gently request they take better care of them, though.
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Nothing special there, I'm afraid! He just has human-like skin - perhaps a little on the oily side but completely within the bounds of normality.
He runs a little hot, if that's anything. Oh! His hair is shockingly soft.
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Correct! DU drow only (arguably) looks like a drow. He doesn't have their usual bone structure, height, or associated magical proclivities. He has some dark vision but its nowhere near as good as a drow's either.
I don't necessarily think all Bhaalspawn are the same way, but the Dark Urge IS quite different from the previous game's iterations. DU isn't simply Bhaal's child conceived with a partner, he's a piece of the god that supposedly slobbed off and grew legs and a face, pretty much. So yes, I do think that the Dark Urge at least is it's own unique thing.
The reason why he looks like a drow, is because he was placed in the Underdark upon creation. The metaphor I always use here is that if you place something infantile in a biome that is alien to it, it may try to adapt to it's environment to survive as it develops, to different degrees of success. This is why DU drow looks the way he does.
[MORE UNDER THE CUT]
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You're welcome!
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I've received a few snippets here that you can find through the #gift art tag! There is also the fic I'm in the process of writing called A Novel Experience on AO3.
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It was just something I was compelled to do when I first drew him! The facial scars felt like they should lead into something else so I just made up a pattern on the spot, minus a tiny tweak here or there, it has stuck basically unchanged. All and any lore relating to the scars came later.
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I get a lot of sweet messages but "thanks for your man's penis size" has to be one of my favorites. Thank you!
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HELLO!
Thank you so much for the kind message! And that sounds like a fun dream, I love that your Tav got jealous of the attention ASTARION was receiving instead of mad that he had to share in the first place LOL
DU drow is desperately monogamous. He doesn't care what other people do with their lives but he's very much a "one and done" kind of person.
He would be willingly to participate in a threeway/have group sex with a partner, assuming the rules and regulations of said encounter were laid out clearly before or at least mutually understood between them. He would never want to see these people again after the fact though.
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She does not, naturally I had no idea that this character was going to turn into anything when i made him, so I just... Made a lady. And since she was supposed to be a "guardian" I gave her a Joan of Arc type of look.
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I've occasionally thought about changing this, but... Y'know, sometimes you don't need lore to be that in-depth, LOL.
The emperor gave everyone else a nondescript hottie he assumed they would trust, DU drow just got the same treatment. She's not even DU drow's type but definitely someone he would be compelled to take seriously yet not feel threatened by - so ultimately, her design does make sense.
---
That's all I have the energy for tonight folks, as always thank you for the many encouraging and sweet messages you send me, I'm sorry I can't reply to all of them! 😭
Have yourselves a great week!
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thesirencult · 3 months ago
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Lunar Eclipse In Pisces, Tarot Reading
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@thesirencult
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Pile 1
“When a young tree is injured it grows around that injury. As the tree continues to develop, the wound becomes relatively small in proportion to the size of the tree. Gnarly burls and misshapen limbs speak of injuries and obstacles encountered through time and overcome. The way a tree grows around its past contributes to its exquisite individuality, character, and beauty. I certainly don't advocate for traumatization to build character, but since trauma is almost a given at some point in our lives, the image of the tree can be a valuable mirror.”
― Peter A. Levine, Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma
How Will This Eclipse Change You?
Pile 1, things will get worse for you, before they can become better. Right now, you have been going through a period of upheaval. You feel as if though you have to watch every step you take. There might be people around you who are praying for your downfall. This to me shows that you are someone who takes charges and like to lead the way, otherwise, these people wouldn't have a reason to be intimidated by you.
This eclipse will shake things up. Expect a confrontation with someone, especially at work. You will find out who is by your side and who isn't. Be careful. Retreat and don't fight back. Tigers don't compete with kittens, for they know their power.
You are someone who has "grown around their traumas". This eclipse prompts you to escape your "in-between" position and show your teeth by setting even higher goals. Take charge, travel if you need to and never lose faith. Become more vigilant but not aggresive.
Kittens can not and will not stop a tiger!
What New Era Is This Eclipse Ushering You Into?
This eclipse is doing all the work for you. If you take a break or travel for a while, expect a different setting when you return to your familiar environment. Justice came out. I don't know why, but I get the impression you are someone who tends to suffer quietly. You don't like to give attention to petty people and small things others may find annoying. Keep doing that, but work through it internally. The Justice card is ushering you into an era of getting paid back your good karma, while those who wronged you are getting served theirs.
Another thing I see, is that in this era you will realize that every action has consequences, be it good or bad. This will offer healing and make you think twice before you do everything. You are a calm, cool and collected individual who may struggle with setting boundaries and taking responsibility because you don't believe you are good enough. Expect things to fall into your lap and getting celebrated for past successes. Get over your "imposter syndrome". You deserve to be rightfully compensated,
Where Is It Asking You To Focus Your Energy?
Focus on raising your risk tolerance and lowering your tolerance for bullsh*t! You have great potential for success, so act accordingly. Any ideas about new ventures you should turn into plans. Find wholeness within and don't wait for external validation, be it about your self worth or plans. Overall, stand on your own and be like a tree that withstands the jarsh conditions by bending with the wind. You are strong enough to let the storm pass.
Pile 2
“Through transformation, the nervous system regains its capacity for self-regulation. Our emotions begin to lift us up rather than bring us down. They propel us into the exhilarating ability to soar and fly, giving us a more complete view of our place in nature. Our perceptions broaden to encompass a receptivity and acceptance of what is, without judgment. We are able to learn from our life experiences. Without trying to forgive, we understand that there is no blame. We often obtain a surer sense of self while becoming more resilient and spontaneous. This new self-assuredness allows us to re-lax, enjoy, and live life more fully. We become more in tune with the passionate and ecstatic dimensions of life.”
― Ann Frederick, Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma
How Will This Eclipse Change You?
This eclipse will make you sharper, quicker to act and ready to be strategic about your plans. After many trials and errors you have come to the conclusion that you're the only one who can change your life. You are becoming more stoic and pragmatic.
You are getting the bird's eye view, sitting high up in your throne like the queen/king you are.
I'm getting the message that clarity is here, not because of others but because of a change in your mindset that comes down to this: "I'm setting myself free from expectations and expecting. I'm choosing my battles wisely. I see things from a higher perspective."
Wisdom, truth and logic are the tools you are going to use to manifest your dream life.
From now on you will be guarding your heart and letting it rest for a while. Now, it's time for the sensitive heart to give the reigns to the cold head, just for now...
What New Era Is This Eclipse Ushering You Into?
This is perfect! I just saw a carousel on TikTok that talked about the "winter arc" and when it starts (October 1st). I'm getting that this eclipse is ushering you into your villain era/winter arc.
You are a very soft and caring person but you've had enough, haven't you? I'm not getting that in this era of your life you'll turn into a b*tch and go from one extreme to another. I'm getting that you'll simply use radical honesty with yourself, you'll cut out the fluff and use your empathy to empathize with the one who deserves it, YOURSELF.
I want you to know that after this much needed period you will see that only people with the beat intentions approach you. I'm not getting that you will be lonely, I'm getting that you will choose to keep your distance from toxicity. You may meet someone who is going after their goals too and you two become really great pals.
Where Is It Asking You To Focus Your Energy?
Very interesting...
First of all, share your gifts with the world cause this will lead you to material abundance. It's been reaffirmed that you are a generous and empathetic person. The Universe wants you to know that it's clearing out from your life those that are leeching off of your energy and are sticking around just to have a taste from the fruits of your flavour.
Since you will become more logical in this period of your life, you will see that certain people are better to be left in the past.
You need to focus your energy on making money, finding like minded souls who reciprocate your positive energy and also, SERVING karma. Be okay with being the villain in someone else's story. They wronged you first and now they just want to use you. Don't feel bad that you want them to watch you win, because they wanted to watch you lose.
Now, let them watch from the sidelines, while you are running towards success. It's going to be sweeter though, cause you will be so focused on the path ahead of you that you will not care about the bench sitters.
Take care !
Pile 3
“Every trauma provides an opportunity for authentic transformation. Trauma amplifies and evokes the expansion and contraction of psyche, body, and soul. It is how we respond to a traumatic event that determines whether trauma will be a cruel and punishing Medusa turning us into stone, or whether it will be a spiritual teacher taking us along vast and uncharted pathways. In the Greek myth, blood from Medusa’s slain body was taken in two vials; one vial had the power to kill, while the other had the power to resurrect. If we let it, trauma has the power to rob our lives of vitality and destroy it. However, we can also use it for powerful self-renewal and transformation. Trauma, resolved, is a blessing from a greater power.”
― Ann Frederick, Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma
How Will This Eclipse Change You?
As far as I can tell, Pile 3 needs to read both this pile and number 2! You are a complex person with lots of layers and reading both piles will help you gain two very distinct perspective on this next cycle taht will transform you COMPLETELY. It's not just about the eclipse, it's about the node change and the overall energy of the next 18-20 months. One of the two piles may not resonate right now, but in a few months or even a year it will be helpful to read it again for guidance.
The eclipse will change your perspective when it comes to your "all or nothing" attitude. Now, this change might have started already but what I see is that you will have a moment in the next month where you will realize that you have the ability to stand still while the world around you is moving. Before, you saw this as your inability to change and evolve but spirit wants you to know that you have the super power and luxury of following your own path. Your timing is way different than taht of others and your ability to move mountains while being still will help you advance in life. You see yourself as a walking contradiction but in reality, energy may manifest in different ways but its substance is the same. Stop beating yourself up and let your energy flow in different ways/wavelengths.
What New Era Is This Eclipse Ushering You Into?
You always get so close to the finish line but refuse to let go of the burdens so you never finish the race. The Universe is asking you to let go of expectations, negative beliefs and fear. Ask and you shall receive. Your options are confusing you, that's why they will fall away one by one. This new era is the era of shedding your new skin and of stripping down to the basics. You can not jump into cold water with clothes on, they won't help you even though they protect you at the shore, in the water they will weigh you down and you'll drown. Different things work at different phases, now it's a new phase and whatever was helpful before it's not working now. Paradigm shift.
Where Is It Asking You To Focus Your Energy?
Know that your life is headed towards a beautiful direction and trust your inner compass to lead you to this destination. Focus on improving your skillset and mindset and let yourself prepare for abundance. This next chapter is all about sharpening up before we climb the mountain. Thinl about it, if you had to climb up Everest wouldn't you want to be as prepared as possible. This last hump on the road is just a preview of the mountains you will climb.
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nothorses · 4 months ago
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So I'm thinking of going on low dose T, and ofc I'll get more feedback from doctors when I see them, but I know one of the changes is that you run warmer and have lower heat tolerance, and I'm already kind of heat sensitive (sweating is a sensory ick). Do you or your followers have any kind of coping strategies that have helped with that?
I ran warm before, too, and I'm definitely warmer now! I also have Raynaud's which kind of makes the whole experience a clusterfuck, but that's besides the point. lmao.
I live in a pretty cool/temperate area, so it isn't normally an issue except in the (increasingly horrible) summers, but I've found that the hardest time to stay cool has been at night. I share a bed with my partner who runs even warmer, and it's been 2.5 years of struggling to figure out how to be a comfortable temperature together.
The best advice I can give you is to just stay as far away from synthetic fibers as you can; "sweat wicking" and "cooling" and "athletic" stuff included. It's a lie. They're all plastic, and while they might feel cool to the touch at first, plastic doesn't breathe. It'll trap heat and moisture against your skin after enough time, especially in the form of blankets. (Fuck the Rest Evercool. Worst recommendation I've ever gotten.)
Look for 100% linen, or 100% cotton. I've heard wool also works well, but I haven't had luck with that personally. Woven fabrics are going to be cooler and more breathable than sateen, and waffle weave is like, the single most breathable weave afaik (it's more common in blankets, but some clothes are waffle).
Some of these things can be pretty scratchy at first, and I recommend a couple of washes on a high heat & some fabric softener before you start using them. We were able to break in our waffle blanket super quickly this way! (I know some folks recommend against softener for breathability reasons, but it's the only thing that actually worked for us, and it hasn't impacted breathability). After you break them in, though, cotton and linen fabrics are SUPER soft!
I also recommend staying away from leather. It's natural, but trust me: it's not breathable. It's coveted in outdoor rec spaces BECAUSE it's somewhat waterproof.
Outside of that, I'd really encourage you to lean towards multiple light layers that you can change/remove throughout the day to suit your needs (ex: light tee + fleece + wind/rain layer, maybe throw in a flannel somewhere), instead of one or two heavy ones (ex: shirt + big puffy cold weather jacket). It's a strategy common in the PNW that works great for regulating your temperature when you're dealing with humidity and somewhat unpredictable weather, and imo, it also really translates if you're just generally sensitive to heat and sweat.
Outside of that... depending on where you live, I really recommend having an AC/dehumidifier. Don't bother with trying to rig up a swamp cooler if you're sensitive to sweat- the increased humidity will make things worse. The general advice I heard when researching a good AC was that window units will always be more efficient than portable units (and a mini split is better than either), but if you have to go with a portable unit, go with a dual-hose. They'll be more efficient just because they don't create a vacuum that pulls in warm air from outside. This is the model we settled on- it was really highly recommended and cost effective for what it is, and it's been absolutely fantastic this summer.
Idk how you are about pits, but I wash mine with a benzoyl body wash and then use a deodorant with antiperspirant every day, and I virtually never smell or sweat. 🤷‍♂️ ymmv though
I'm sure folks will have things to add, so check the notes on this post- and good luck!
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viridwns · 5 months ago
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Can I get a fic about kidnapped reader and yandere Chrollo on a road trip of some kind and she’s like “let me get the aux” because let’s face it Chrollo’s taste in music is not gonna be road trip friendly and she’s just like jamming out to like Sexxy Red and Doja Cat and Flo Rida? Like I feel like that’s the complete opposite type of music he would listen to and she’s over there having a whole concert
Yan!Chrollo lucilfer x reader
Warning(s): mild cussing, forced relationship, unhealthy relationship, one sentence is about implied dubcon
A/N: Quick drabble to try and get out of my writing slump. Too lazy to check for errors, sorry pookies.
WC: I honestly dk, I wrote this on my mobile😭
Antithetical
You loathed car rides with Chrollo. His 'work' forced him to travel a lot, meaning road trips that would usually exceed six hours with no rest stops or pee breaks to avoid being spotted by the wrong people.
Only if you were bursting—on the verge of kidney poisoning—would Chrollo force you to do your business in some random bushes alongside the road.
The close proximity of the metal box had you pushing yourself as far as you could against the door—enjoying the cool steel against your boiling skin.
It was well into summer, and even though you only wore a loose T-shirt from Chrollo and way too large gym shorts, your body didn't seem to regulate the heat.
Chrollo, the non-human that he is, didn't seem bothered by the blazing sun in the slightest. Wearing a white shirt neatly tucked into black, wide-legged trousers secured by a just as dark belt.
You could not spot one drop of sweat on his sickly pale skin.
The AC of the car was blasting in your face, helping a great deal to chase away the uncomfortable warmth. The noise it made was loud, but still not loud enough to overpower the radio.
Chrollo was a control freak through in through. You were used to it by now, but you hadn't expected it to extend all the way to what music was playing in the car.
Car rides with Chrollo were already unbearable. He was a macho driver, thinking you would fall head over heels if he parked with one hand, but even though he tried to look tough, he drove like a grandma—he didn't want any attention, getting pulled over or driving too noticeable could mess up his plans. He also had the need to have one hand rest on your thigh for the whole entirety of the ride, be it five minutes or fifteen hours. He loved prodding at your mind in these long hours; asking you deep and personal questions that would have you reeling by the end of the drive.
But the one thing that icked you the most was his taste in music.
These rides could be long—this one a nice thirteen hours from the last place he kept you—and sleeping could only cover half, if not less. You needed a distraction from the man next to you and his tongue; blasting some good tunes for example.
Für Elise wasn't one of those tunes.
Chrollo had a thing for classical music; befitting his dark academia style as he also loved to read older literature and collect antiques.
And you didn't mind it most of the time—you had to admit that some songs were enjoyable to listen to.
But not for thirteen hours on end.
With one-fourth of the journey done, no desire to sleep, and Chrollo humming along to his playlist, you finally had enough.
"Chrollo, can I have the aux?" You asked, head slightly turning to look at the raven haired man while still holding your place in front of the AC.
You had asked Chrollo this question multiple times, but he always found a way to go around it.
Chrollo squeezed your thigh, making you press yourself further against the door.
His eyes remained focused on the road, but his grin was a tell-tale sign that this was going to be a mind war again.
"And why do you want that?" He replied, turning the radio down a tat to hear you better.
You sighed.
"Because we've been listening to your music since the beginning of the trip." You sat up straight when Chrollo started nodding along with your words.
"Okay, but this music is relaxing. It doesn't distract me from the traffic around me. You don't want us to end up in an accident, no?" He said, sparing you a quick glance.
You pursed your lips.
It was hard to pinpoint where he used manipulation tactics exactly in your conversations.
You were able to pick it up rather quickly now, though.
You turned to him, lips in a thin line.
"Chrollo, this is torturing my ears." You pointed at the radio to emphasize your meaning.
He laughed.
"Don't be dramatic."
"Says you."
"Excuse me?"
"You're excused"
You gave him a sharp glare as he lightly rolled his eyes.
You had to give him a challenge of sorts. You knew he liked the thrill of those—the need to prove that he is capable of overcoming anything in his way.
"You're so dramatic about other people's music tastes. You hate listening to anything other than your own playlist. You don't even know other music genres," you started, crossing your arms over your chest and slumping in the passenger's seat.
As you were about to speak again, Chrollo interjected.
"Rock, Indie, metal, pop, electronic, blues, jazz—should I continue?"
He smiled as he faced you for a second before looking at the road again.
"Nice try, love, but implying that I don't know something is a dead give away of your schemes." Chrollo mused, patting your thigh.
He was mocking you, he saw right through your plan. You were stupid to think you could outwit him.
One day though.
One day you will.
You grumbled before slumping back in your seat, craning your neck to meet the frigid wind of the airconditioner.
The car was silent now except for the violins harmonizing on the radio. You were mere seconds away from taking the wheel and crashing the vehicle just for a few seconds of peace.
Chrollo sighed. You perked up at this. He wasn't too keen on already having you on edge this early in the trip. Every time that happened, you two would fight every day because you were petty like that.
He hands you his phone. You slowly take it with a quirked brow as your straighten your back.
"Fine, go ahead then."
You peer at him, suspicion running high.
"This isn't a trick?"
"No."
"I'm not getting in trouble if I change the music?"
"No."
"I don't have to give you a blow job while you're driving if I do this?"
"If you insist—"
You push the phone his way. Chrollo laughs before throwing you a wink. He nudges the device back with his shoulder.
"There are no catches here. I swear. Play your music."
You throw him uncertain glances as you open the music app; one of the only apps it had. He had bought this phone with you in mind. Shalnark modified it, so only Chrollo's number was on it, and no other numbers could be dialed. It also contained a few games. Like uno, you played that online with a few of the other phantom members. It kept you sane when you were locked in and alone for days on end.
You scrolled through your playlists, Chrollo only had one, and that was the 'liked songs' album.
The corners of your lips quirked upwards as you clicked your 'God better not see this one' list.
You could only feel a little victorious as you watched Chrollo's face sour when boss bitch by Doja Cat blasts from the radio.
You scream the lyrics in his face as you start moving your arms with the rhythm of the music.
It felt so good to just jam out to your songs for once. You ignored the pointed look of Chrollo when the next number that came on was CPR by CupcakKe.
A twinge of happiness tugged at your heart as you realized Chrollo would suffer a hundred times more in these few hours than you did and probably will do in all the carrides that have and will happen.
At least that was what you thought, but as you were about to bellow 'I save dick by giving it CPR' in your kidnapper's ear, he was looking at you with this love sick expression.
Eyes twinkly, stupidly handsome smile on his face and a total lack of concentration of his surroundings.
You felt your stomach lurch, and without a second thought, you put on the four seasons by vivaldi; almost breaking the screen in process.
You dropped the phone on your lap and crossed your arms. Your good mood only lasted three seconds before Chrollo decided to throw acid over it.
He gave you a quick peck on the cheek before returning his eyes to the road.
You felt stupid for buying his lies once again.
"You planned that, didn't you." It was more a statement than a question that came out of your mouth as you pushed your back against the cardoor.
Chrollo hummed as his hand found your thigh again, continuing his finger tapping along with the music.
You huff.
That was all you could do in response to him.
One thing was for certain: you would never play your music again, even if Chrollo begged you to.
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fairuzfan · 9 months ago
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I never claimed Biden's policies never hurt anyone, but it is unfair to blame Biden for Covid when Covid began under the Trump administration and it was Trump's actions that led to its severity and damage. Biden at least attempted to mitigate Covid during the first year of his administration, but by then the damage was already extensive and the politicized culture around it made it impossible for Americans to cooperate and regulations to have any real affect. But blaming Biden for Covid is like blaming Hoover for the Great Depression.
Don't get me wrong, I hate Biden too. But no matter how awful our 2024 presidential choices are, they are our only possible choices for president. Our voting systems are messed up. 3rd party votes only work against us and lots of people also just opt out of voting, which is about as equally affective. The electoral college was founded on literal racism and slavery and is still imposed to this day. But that's the system we have to work with. It's rigged. It's awful. I KNOW.
And like I said voting is not the end all of political action, and reading some of these comments, I can understand your anger. For most elections, yes, a vote IS an endorsement and support for a politician. But presidential elections just don't work that same way. When you vote 3rd party, you might as well just handed over your right to vote to your representative. And I guarantee you your representative is either going to vote for Trump or Biden.
The presidential election is NOT the only election on the ballot. And all other elections in the US make it possible for 3rd party candidates to win. I will vote 3rd party wherever possible locally, and I encourage you to do so too.
Still, reading through all these comments, I have yet to hear an actual solution to this problem that is achievable by November. Our choices are Biden or Trump. That's it. I hate it too, but if you have any better, feasible ideas, please let me hear it.
Except it is an endorsement. Biden literally thinks "they'll get over it" (it being the genocide of palestinians) by the time election comes. He thinks that we will vote for him anyways so he'll do whatever he wants. That's literally an endorsement. The reason the Vote Uncommitted campaign is gaining traction is to threaten Biden into doing something. If he doesn't feel threatened, then he assumes we are going to vote for him no matter what. So that means it's an endorsement.
If Biden doesn't listen to us, that's on him for losing the election. Not on the people who want him to do something else. And I don't want trump to win. I don't. But I will never vote for a person who so brazenly killed my friends and family, lied to my face, and was so unbelievably arrogant in that he thinks he can do whatever the fuck he wants. Feel free to vote for Biden. Just don't say it's for anyone else.
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midnight-mourning · 25 days ago
Text
Under the Lights
❄️❄️Midnight's DCA December Day 2❄️❄️
Gahh, late again, my bad y'all
But hey! Here now, and I hope you all enjoy, this was something that was SO cute and sweet, though i did add the tiniest bit of angst (to enchance the sweet dw), have fun!
Prompt: I'd like to request dca seeing christmas lights for the first time. like full on, bright, colorful, possibly in shapes lights, those houses that go all out style. when I was a kid my family used to go on nighttime/ dusk-that-turned-into-nighttime walks in the cold, sometimes with hot cocoa, to see what people in the neighborhood did. something with that kinda feel, y'know? that'd be so sweet.
Word Count: 1889
❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️
"Starshine, hurry uuup," You hear Sun's voice from the front hall. "We're going to miss them!"
You laugh, from in the kitchen, "Sun, the lights stay on all night. At least I think so." You cringe, probably not great for the environment, but you were just as guilty, having prepared your house just a few days ago. 
Another groan on anticipation. You hear footsteps stomp down the hall, his face appearing in the doorway soon thereafter. 
"What could you possibly be doing?"
You beam, holding up your thermos, "Making hot coco! Which I just finished mind you. Now, grab the marshmallows for me. They're on the top shelf."
"Is that what you've been waiting on? Why didn't you say anything sooner!" He shoos you out of the way, opening the cabinet with a tsk, "Who would put them there of all places?"
"Sunny. That was you. You were trying to regulate my sugar intake."
He pauses, bag in hand, "Oh, right. Sorry."
Sheepishly, he hands it over and you dump a large handful into your thermos, "I'll forgive you if you ignore this."
"Trying to." His rays twitch as you added a few extras for good measure. 
You tighten the lid with a smile, "There! Now I'm ready. Let's go."
"Finally! I was starting to lose hope." With that, Sun takes your free hand and leads you out of the kitchen and out the front door. Thankfully you were already dressed for the weather, or you wouldn't have stood a chance against his determined march. 
"At least let me lock the front door!"
It's right around dusk currently, and the lights have just begun to turn on around the neighborhood. There's only a few families out and about currently, most wouldn't come outside until later. 
Your breath clouds in the air, and you huddle into your coat tighter. One hand however, is occupied holding Sun's, his grip tight, but not harsh. 
He leads you around the neighborhood, hitting all the spots with lights currently on. Which admittedly, aren't a lot. Still, it's enough to please him. Taking in every display, no matter how big or small, with a sense of genuine curiosity and wonder. 
Prior to now, you had no idea how much of the holidays and Christmas he and Moon had knowledge of. 
It was apparently, not a lot. 
"Oh! This snowman has pipe! But wouldn't he melt?"
"Oh! Oh! Oh! Why is that reindeer's nose red? Does he have a cold?"
"Oh! The, the snowman and the reindeer are... friends?"
This went on at pretty much every house you stopped by, and each time, you explained the lights or decorations on displayed. You truly didn't mind to, you think his interest was incredibly cute. 
To Sun's dismay however, as it grew darker, more lights began to come on, but it wasn't enough for him to stay out. You're soon joined by his lunar opposite.
Moon, while much less talkative, still has a great interest in looking at the lights. And despite having seen some displays through Sun's eyes, insists on doubling back multiple times. 
"Perhaps there's something we missed."
You scoff, "We've looked at Frosty and Rudolph three times now, Moon-man."
"I just find the mechanics of their movement to be fascinating." He bends down so he's eye to eye with the reindeer made of lights, who's head moves back and forth every so often. "Simply a string of lights and a motor."
You watch as he pokes the display's nose. 
"I'm just glad this isn't, you know, painful for you." You shove your hands in your pockets. 
You'll admit you'd been a bit worried about how this would all go. With the inconsistency of the lighting, there was the concern of the two AI constantly flipping back and forth out of their control. And while you knew the light didn't exactly hurt Moon, it was uncomfortable, from how he'd described it to you in the past. Especially back during their days in the Plex. 
It felt like ages ago now, your time spent together then. You were different, they were different. In some ways that was good, in others... 
You shake your head, letting the memories come, but pass you by. Things were better now, good. And you truly cherished that. Being able to see them happy, content, it's all you wanted at this point. 
Plus, the bonus of seeing them in casual clothes like their current sweatshirt and pants made you feel like you'd domesticated the attendants. A thought both incredibly humorous, and comforting. 
Moon stands, turning to you, "It isn't. This has been nice so far. Thank you for doing this for us." He takes your gloved hand then, holding it up his smile before releasing you. 
Your face feels hot, you cough, avoiding eye contact, "You're um, you're welcome." Your gaze falls on a random house, where an old couple is standing outside, passing out snacks. "Hey, let's go check out that place next. The Kline’s always have a cute display."
Before Moon can respond, your stomach growls, causing you to become more embarrassed. 
He laughs, following after you as you start to head that direction in front of him a few steps, "I'm sure that's your only reason, Star."
After a quick snack break of chocolate covered pretzels and popcorn, your continue to move through the neighborhood. Your stretch of the street was filled with more of the easygoing type folk. Some had a few bigger displays, but nothing over the top. There was a softer, calmer, type of feel to things. 
The other end of the block, not so much. 
You don't know what started it, but for as long as you can remember, at the other end of the street seemed to have it out for each other in terms of trying to see who had the most extravagant lights on display. 
It was a slow transition, houses soon becoming completely covered in lights, framing every window and roof line. Then came the yard lights, the giant inflatable snowmen and Santas, and the music. Oh, the music. 
Before, someone might've been playing a tune on a radio, drifting out amongst the chatter on the street. Over here, you had people blasting 'Carol of the Bells' at full volume. And while you didn't mind the song on a normal day, it was almost unbearable. 
You came across two houses that were obviously trying to outdo each other, houses shining so bright you could probably see them from space, their entire yards covered with—in your opinion—gaudy decorations made of cheap plastic. You flinch at the conflicting music between the two, not even able to decipher the difference between the songs.
The problem however, arouse when the displays start flashing, making cool looking, but nauseating patterns play out on each house. It was disorienting enough for you, but when you glance to your left and one moment see Sun, and the next Moon, squinting against the visual assault, you can only imagine how the experience is for them. 
After a moment to collect yourselves, you exit that section of the neighborhood, finding the other side of that chaos to be more like your comfort level again. 
"That was, certainly something." You take a sip of your hot coco, which is about half gone by now. The marshmallows helping to make it last a little bit longer. 
Moon's hand is to his faceplate, and blinks hard a few times before shaking his head, "I believe 'something' is the best way to put it."
You frown. He doesn't sound happy. Not angry, just, annoyed, dazed. You start to feel guilt sink in. 
"I'm sorry, I, I should've realized how bad that would have been for you two. We could've found a way to go around, or something."
He looks to you then, "Why would you apologize? It's not your fault."
"Still,"—you shake your head—"Are you alright?"
Moon chuckles, setting a hand on your shoulder, "We're fine, Starlight. We've faced far worse than a barrage of flashing lights,"—his hand moves to your cheek—"You know that."
You wince, "Yeah. I do." 
Despite Moon's reassurances, you can sense a bit of tension in him. Seems he's trying to hide that they're still recovering. 
You take the chance to check the time on your phone. You'd wanted to save this for later in the night, giving plenty of time to see the full neighborhood, but decide that this is the perfect opportunity. 
You take his hand, and start to lead him to your new destination, "Come on, I want to show you both something."
"Is it more lights?" Moon asks. 
You turn slightly, small smirk on your face, "A little more than that."
You head back down the street, past the battling lightshows, and past your own house. You walk to the park located at the end of the street, an open, sprawling place, filled with lights of its own. Between displays, kids play out in the snow, their parents watching nearby, chatting. 
You make it to your goal, the large tunnel of warm, white lights in the center of the park. As you enter, Sun appears, face turned up to admire the archway. You think you might even hear him gasp in admiration.
Located at the end of the tunnel is a gazebo, decorated with the same soft lights. As you were hoping, it's unoccupied. Otherwise this would be a bit awkward. 
Once you’re up the steps and in the center, you stop, turning around to face Sun. 
He tilts his head, "This is pretty, Sunbeam, but is there a reason why you brought us here?"
"There is." You take a deep breath, "Listen, getting to have you both in my life, every day, it's not something I take for granted," You take both of the attendant's hands in your own, "I know how much I could've lost. How differently things could have turned out. And I'm just, I'm really glad they didn't."
Sun chuckles, squeezing your hands gently, "Oh Star, we're so happy to have you in our life too!"
"No, you don't understand." You sigh. Now or never. "I love you. Both of you. I, I don't know what I'd do without you."
Sun freezes. Once fluttering rays now stock still. 
"It's okay if you don't feel the same! Either of you. You, you don't have to. I just, wanted to let you know, yeah?" You're fumbling over your words now, heat rising on your face again. 
Again, no response. 
"Well um, that's um, all I had to say—"
You're interrupted by Sun pulling you closer, and pressing his smile to your lips. At first you were afraid of a very specific, humiliating, scenario happening, but thankfully, his faceplate is quite warm against the cold. 
After a few moments, he pulls away. 
"I love you too." A pause, "So does Moon, but he can have his chance to say it later."
You laugh, joy filling you instantly. The noise is cut short as Sun leans in again, kissing you once, twice, three times, you start to lose track. 
So, there you stand, kissing—one of—your loves in the glow of the holiday lights, appreciating it all just that much more. 
And you still had some hot coco left.
❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️
hehehehe, I told you it'd work out. Thank you @juukai for the request! it brought back some of my own personal nostalgia for this kind of thing and was very enjoyable ^_^
If you'd like to request, you have until 12/13 OR until all slots are filled, currently 11 of 31 are taken! See here for more details, thanks for reading!
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@scarletcowboy @beemyhuneybee @fishm0ther @deviouscrackers @elsajoyagent8
@luckyyyduckyyy @zenkaiankoku @jogimote @local-shrub @amarynthian-chronicles
@robinette-green @everlightreader @sinister-sincerely @starredeclipse @dangerva
@juukai @crystalmagpie447 @mothgutz236 @lizyxml
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thepersonnamedsam · 1 year ago
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memories - mv1
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pairing: max verstappen x fem!reader
summary: a trip down memory lane helps max overcome his biggest fear
word count: 1k
warnings: mentions of panic attacks/hyperventilation, the gas station
note: the first ever story for my 1���000 follower special! finally
masterlist / taglist
Max hated the flashbacks. The times his mind played tricks on him - he hated it so much that he started to try and hurt himself to make it stop.
He stopped when he met you though. He was only 14 years old when he first saw you at the gas station with your family.
His father left him that day, sad and hungry. He heard you laugh before he saw you. But the moment you fell into his eyesight he forgot all about his worries - how to get home, how to face his father, how to eat.
You saw that little, okay maybe not so little, boy, standing all alone at a gas station in a foreign country. You had to go and talk to him. Ask him if he was alright. He wasn’t, but you made it alright with your presence.
„Max, do you remember the day we met? Hmm? It was a long time ago, over 10 years“, your voice quiet but steady. „Max, honey, listen to me; breathe in through your nose and breathe out through your mouth.“
Max‘ head laid in your lap. Your hands softly gripped his head and his eyes were fixated on your face. It reminded him of your first kiss.
You were laying in the grass of a field. Your head in his lap, his hands brushing hair out of your face. „Can I kiss you?“, he had asked softly. His heart was racing, feared of your rejection. But you had smiled softly at him and nodded your head yes.
His eyes closed and your lips touched. The kiss had been dry and warm. You felt his chapped lips against your soft ones. He was so gentle, afraid to break you in any way.
„Maxy, can you look at me, please?“
Max opened his eyes, he saw you staring down at you, the softest smile formed on your lips.
„Hi honey, you’re doing so good. Let’s steady that breathing of yours, hmm?“, you hummed. His head only barely able to nod.
„Alright, you remember box breathing?“, you asked him. „You remember the time I told you about my therapist and how she taught me this method?“
You had just gotten out of therapy and Max was waiting with his VW Golf in front of the building. „How was it?“, he’d asked. „Good, tiring. She taught me this method to regulate my breathing“, you told him.
„You breathe in for seven seconds and imagine the top line of a box, then you hold your breath for seven seconds and imagine the right side of that box. Breathe out for seven seconds again and imagine the underside and therefore you hold your breath for seven seconds again and imagine the left side.“
It had worked. For you at least. Every time Max was close to boil over he tried the box breathing - only to think back about the moment you told him how it worked.
„Honey, you’re doing so great. Breath in - hold - breathe out and hold again. Good. Can you look at me, Max?“
His blue eyes searched yours and he felt safe. He felt safe in your arms and would only ever feel safe in yours. You were his rock, his safe haven. You and only you.
„Hi Max“, you smiled at the boy. „Hi“, he waved back at you. „I didn’t think I‘d ever see you again“, he told you. „I know where you live“, you had laughed. „We brought you home, remember?“
His cheeks reddened with heat; „Oh yeah, thanks for that again.“ - „No problem, Maxy.“ He still wondered how and why you came back. He was a pathetic little boy. He was only successful when he won, but he didn’t, he was rightfully treated like he was.
But still, you stood there, smiling and looking at him with those hopeful eyes. And he knew that moment he couldn’t ever let you go.
„Good, good! You’re regulating your breathing, that’s so good. Max, you are in your drivers room in Abu Dhabi. You just got pole position. It’s okay, I’m here.“
Max looked at you and slowly sat up. He leaped forward and hugged you tight. He was glad to have you by his side.
„Thank you“, Max breathed out. „Don’t thank me for that.“
Max smiled lightly and you finally saw that spark light up his eyes again. His hand went into his pocket and took out a little red velvet box.
One last deep breath and Max bent down on to one knee and opened the box. The ring inside was shimmering in the light of the room. Tears started to form in your eyes.
„y/n, I love you, with all my heart. You shared my life with me for the last decade and I am so thankful for that.
From the first delicate notes of our story to the crescendo of shared dreams, you've become the symphony that colors my world. As we dance through the chapters of our lives, I can't help but envision the harmonious future that awaits us. With each step, I've realized that love is not just a fleeting emotion; it's the foundation upon which we've built a sanctuary of understanding and compassion.
So, in this serenade of time, I offer you my heart, an eternal promise wrapped in the delicate strings of vulnerability. Will you, with grace as boundless as the ocean, share this waltz of life with me? Let our love be the melody that guides us through the verses yet unwritten, and may our journey be a masterpiece painted with the strokes of enduring affection.“
„Yes, you little poet!“ And Max stood up and lifted you off the ground. Kissed you with all his emotions his little heart possessed. And he was glad to have you.
„Oh thank god, my biggest fear was you’d say no“, he breathed out. You giggled and kissed your now fiancé. „Why would I? I love you so much, Maxy. Is that why you had to hyperventilate? Aww baby, I’m so sorry.“ Max shook his head, quickly kissed your lips and told you: „I was so nervous, I actually wanted to propose in the garage, but here we are.“
°°°
@ironmaiden1313 , @topguncultleader , @biglittlesecret, @gulabjamooon , @lovelyy-moonlight , @peachyplumsss , @mistrose23 , @copper-boom , @love4lando , @champomiel , @serenityleah , @iloveyou3000morgan , @angelwithoutmywings , @elleeeee21 , @youkissedareaderinthedark , @mikauraur , @thybulleric , @lpab , @fdl305 , @mellowarcadefun , @teti-menchon0604 , @vildetry06 , @bibissparkles , @aurora-maria , @lunnnix , @sya-skies , @Buckywifeyy , @dakotali , @rechtrecht , @noncannonships , @1eclerc16 , @pitlanebabe , @sopheeg , @avengersheart , @thatsadsmallchild , @peachiicherries , @idkiwantchocolatee , @callsign-scully , @mehrmonga , @badbatch-simp24 , @lissyontour , @din0nugs , @elliegrey2803 , @gay-for-victoria-de-angelis , @10vely-yutazen , @daggersquadphantom , @azriel-the-shadowsinger , @i-love-scott-mccall , @darleneslane , @mikauraur , @heartmetaphor , @darleneslane , @ellswilliams , @thxtmarvelchick , @nataliambc , @dontjudgeabookbythecover , @hockeyboysarehot , @thehistoryone
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yangsharperavery · 2 years ago
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my carmy/sydney related thoughts on season 2
i think when digesting this show, it's done more easily when we see who carmy and sydney are as people and how they bring that beingness to their dynamic.
it's interesting to see the takes from people who are troubled by what they saw in this season in terms of their relationship.
i personally thought there was so much fascinating groundwork that was laid.
we knew when molly gordon was cast they were likely trying to introduce a love interest for carmy.
i was not shocked, i was not surprised. i literally expected it.
doesn't mean i wasn't rolling my eyes but i was well aware of what function she would play within the narrative.
but the writing is so sharp that there are a million subtle elements of carmy's character, and what we know about him up to this point, including what was illuminated by the christmas episode.
let's first talk about carmy's choices and behavior where it relates to claire vs sydney and the restaurant.
we know that carmy is awkward, isn't incredibly relationally experienced and has sacrificed everything for his career and specific level of skill.
he'd just been ruminating on expanding his experiences as expressed in the al-anon meeting.
we know this man is intensely grief-stricken and also that he's battling his own mental health.
we also know he's literally been bred from chaos and emotional tumult.
even him not going to his own brother's funeral makes so much sense after that christmas episode.
he couldn't stand to witness what that type of grief had done to his already deteriorating mother.
so he's trying to conceptualize fun.
notice he wasn't trying to conceptualize love or relationships or a partner.
it was literally presented and integrated as fun.
so he runs into this girl he used to a have a crush on and even then, he's not sold because he knows himself, he knows his priorities, his propensities toward self sabotage, etc so he gives her a wrong number.
yet she persists.
so to me, this may seem like a sign to him to give this a chance, do some exterior exploration of something outside of the kitchen and outside of his career and outside of his own neurosis.
so he's just going with the flow. trying to be "normal". not really knowing the content or context of anything. another reason why he wasn't even calling claire his girlfriend.
claire even brings up the fact that they'd hung out so much but didn't actually talk.
which is SPOT on because the audience only actually ever sees them talking about their careers or what they were like as kids/teenagers.
but you know who carmy DOES talk to? hmm, more on that later.
so claire is symbolic of this thing that was pleasant when he was younger, when he was less of this grown conglomerate of anxiety and disarray and sorrow. a part of him that's separate from all of his current worry and fixations and dysregulation.
him saying he loves her so much and that he thinks she's so great actually rings hollow because we, the audience, didn't actually get to see when and where that level of specific emotion or intensity occurred.
so off rip i don't believe him. i don't think about it in the context of if or when he and sydney explore anything, because it feels patently untrue to me.
and completely separate from sydney.
it's not earned. it's not rooted. it's not tacitly valid.
it's fine. it's a good time. it's some laughs and conversation and sex and a nice, normal person he has fond, nostalgic memories of.
and i think it's written that way on purpose!
so him professing this to other people feels like this way to continue digging a hole of his own distraction, his absence, his lack of attention to detail.
i completely understand the frustration that many feel about interpreting this like carmy was essentially choosing claire over sydney.
carmy was trying to have an unfamiliar and different experience and didn't have the depth perception, the self awareness and the internal regulation to recognize he was doing it to the detriment of something so deeply and irrevocably important to him.
as soon as sydney brought it up, he got defensive but then moments later recognized his errors and apologized.
she told him she didn't want to share his attention.
he told her she was absolutely correct and that she deserved his full focus.
what's fascinating about this part is they aren't even explicitly talking about the restaurant.
she says "me" and "i", he says "you".
uh. wow.
now even in the context of JUST the restaurant this is saying ALOT here.
him instantly apologizing and agreeing with her requests means a substantial amount.
carmy isn't an ass because he stood sydney up for the palate cleanser. or even because he went absent when he shouldn't have.
carmy is deeply troubled and wounded and suffering and he was grappling for something else to feel or do or think about besides what he's ALWAYS thought about and done and fixated on.
that's why he's unreliable, that's why he's haphazard and emotionally or energetically messy. he's coping.
that's why he knows he makes mistakes all the time. because he feels like he's a screwup in a lot of specific ways in his life so he's used to it.
he's not being malicious or cruel or even unkind to sydney.
and this isn't an excuse. it's a reason. it's what all the information we have about him up to this point is providing us.
and yes, his timing is godawful.
but he trusts this person so implicitly because he knows how talented and capable she is.
carmy does not know HOW to be a partner, of any kind. where would he have learned that? where would that have been modeled for him?
"this is what you wanted originally and i'm giving it to you."
so let's transpose the way carmy and claire are presented with how carmy and sydney are together.
he literally can't WAIT to hear what sydney has to say. about literally anything.
at any given time.
"say more please."
all he wants to do is listen to her talk. he wants to know everything about her. the personal stuff too, almost especially.
he listens to her so closely. in the first or second episode she loses her train of thought and he repeats everything she just said.
i don't even think it was restaurant related.
he brings up her mother not once, but twice.
he feels like he should have known that sydney lost her.
he wants to pour into and believe in her because he does. he already does.
he's ready to apologize to her because he knows what a mess he can be and often is.
he knows what his anger can do. he knows how he was conditioned and raised in the industry and he doesn't want that at all for her, least of all from him.
especially after she walked out last season.
he's hyperaware of it. he calms down instantly both times she does the sign for sorry that HE taught her.
he has this propulsion to NEED to know what's happening with her in the very moment something occurs.
he did it last season when she quit on the spot and he kept trying to talk to her when she was leaving.
he did it this season when she was frustrated and trying to say goodnight after carmy was actively telling everyone goodnight and to go home, yet he tried to talk to her when she was leaving.
"what?"
"i'm saying goodnight."
he was repeatedly ushering everyone out but because of the look on her face, carmy's like wait, "what's that about, what's happening?"
he can't stand it!
same with them outside last season when he brought her food and asked what was wrong.
if something is up with her, he reacts immediately.
if she's peeved, he wants to know why right away, he wants to know what to do to make it better, how to approach it, what to say, he goes out in search of that information in the moment it's happening.
sydney is his soft place.
he feels very anchored and tethered to her and i believe she feels the same with him.
sydney is his respite. his peace. the thought of her literally calms and stills him.
her being energetically seats him.
we saw it penetrate his seismic and consistent panic in real time.
that was clearly displayed for all of us to witness.
he doesn't want to be cruel or unkind or anything other than present and communicative with her.
i'd venture to say he actually doesn't want anything more than that, besides maybe the restaurant to succeed.
now sydney is in her "i have something to prove" era.
she is so driven and so determined but she's also a realist and is inundated and surrounded by all this proof that what she's doing may be foolhardy.
at the very least, it's incredibly risky. it's a jump.
and someone deeply ambitious and creative and tuned in and focused like sydney has such fear of failure.
because she knows what it often means for someone like her.
that's why she overextends herself so continuously.
she's often had to and she thinks it gets her closer to the opposite of failure.
she was not only aware of the gaps carmy's absence was leaving but also planning this tasting menu with a MILLION things on it because something was gonna be the star because it MUST.
and i think the carmy absence flares a bit of abandonment as well, like he's left her in a lurch.
she has feelings about that.
she finds out why he did, and TRIES not to have feelings about that.
that's confusing and she's already beyond stressed out so she tries to stuff it.
her success is so tied to her identity because she's worked so hard to get where she is and still feels like she's not where she wants to be.
so she wrestles with worthiness and worry and the financial climate of affability for restaurants. she's riddled with what if she can't hack it?
she has evidence of that being true in the past.
she has evidence of her past failures and those are what keep her up at night, not the infinite possibilities of her future successes.
and that's also why she picked carmy.
because she was always going to pick the best.
she was always going to follow the career and moves of the standout in the industry.
of the person that made the best meal she's ever had.
so if he's anal retentive or jumpy or doesn't call about changing the structural elements of their restaurant while it's happening, she deals with it because she picked him.
she chose him. and then he chose her.
(and then she lightweight chose him again when she came back)
so that's why when they're talking he so often checks in by looking her in the face, scanning her expression. he instantly picks up on something being off or wrong or him being "shitty".
or why when they're under a damn table, despite being peeved or annoyed with his disappearing acts, she lets out the most vulnerable, softest admissions about the perceived necessity of her contribution and future failure.
or why he responds with "i couldn't do it without you" so instantly, so rapidly, it's like it's etched in him. that's the quickest response he'd given to anything she said to him the entire season, she barely got the words fully out before he was verbally soothing her.
then he STAMPS this by saying "i wouldn't WANT to do this without you."
there was such an unexpectedly, viscerally aching quality to that exchange.
it's honestly searing.
i'm sorry are these wedding vows or are we talking about opening a damn restaurant?
or the way he says "you love taking care of people" to her when she talks about making sugar food.
that's also a stellar mirrored moment because i've seen a few people, i believe @eatandsleepwell is one, talk a lot about how that's one of carmy's main drivers and internal tenants.
they see so much of themselves in each other.
the buried parts, the unknown parts, the odd parts.
the parts they wanna work on. the parts they wanna exalt.
they are so similar. they are also quite different.
they have reflected one another in the narrative since s1 ep1.
they exist so flawlessly within the others interstices.
she wordlessly hands him pepto for his stomach.
he tells her he won't let her fail.
the pulsing undercurrent of sydney and carmy is pretty fucking palpable.
there's people on social media who weren't convinced or didn't ship them last season that have suddenly completely seen the vision.
whether the writers actually go there or not remains to be seen.
i don't necessarily trust that they will or won't to be honest because i know there are so many moving pieces and variables and factors.
ships get bypassed and messed up all the time.
i don't watch any shows for ship guarantees but i know how writer's rooms work.
i'd venture to bet that at least 1/3 of that room DOES have an interest in seeing something happen between carmy and sydney, (maybe even 1/2).
or at the very least the option to have it explored.
different people write different episodes, the showrunner/creator can scratch or add whatever.
scripts are TIRELESSLY edited and shortened.
yet there is alot that makes the final cut that points to the potent carmy and sydney marrow.
him giving her the captain reigns before they served for the first time, her saying 'let it rip'.
to me, sydney walked into that failing sandwich shop with a mission that day, they locked eyes and immediately fused.
something happened to the both of them in that moment and they largely don't even realize or can adequately reckon with its magnitude yet.
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onlycosmere · 2 months ago
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“He kept on the proper face all the way to his rooms, and was proud of himself for it. Then he stepped inside and found an empty nothingness. His were the quarters of a highlord, supposedly luxurious and spacious. He had little furniture though, and that left it feeling hollow. Dark, the sole light coming from the balcony. Every honor he’d been given seemed to highlight how vacant his life really was. Titles couldn’t fill a room with life.
Still, he turned and closed the door with a firm push. Only then did he break. He didn’t make it to the chair. He sank down with his back to the wall beside the door. He tried to unbutton his coat, but ended up bending forward with his knuckles pressing his forehead, digging into his skin as he hyperventilated, gasping in deep breaths of air while he trembled and shook.
Exhaustionspren like jets of dust gleefully congregated around him. And agonyspren, like upside-down faces carved from stone, twisted and faded in and out. He couldn’t cry. Nothing came out. He wanted to cry, because at least that would be a release. Instead he huddled, knuckles pressing against the scars in his forehead, wishing he could shrivel away. Like the eyes of a person struck by a Shardblade.
In moments like this—alone and huddled on the floor of a dark room, tormented by agonyspren—Moash’s words found him. The truth of them became undeniable. Out in the garish sunlight, it was easy to pretend that everything was all right. In here, Kaladin could see clearly.
You’re just going to keep hurting.…
His entire life had been a futile effort to stop a storm by yelling at it. The storm didn’t care.
They’re all going to die. There’s nothing you can do about it.
You could never build anything that lasted, so why try? Everything decayed and fell apart. Nothing was permanent. Not even love.
Only one way out …
A knock came at his door. Kaladin ignored the sound until it became insistent. Storms. They were going to barge in, weren’t they? Suddenly panicked that anyone should find him like this, Kaladin stood up and straightened his coat. He took a deep breath, and the agonyspren faded.
Adolin pushed his way in, a treasonous Syl on his shoulder. That was where she had gone? To fetch Adolin storming Kholin?
The young man wore a uniform of Kholin blue, but not a regulation one. He’d taken to having embellishments added, regardless of what his father thought. While it was sturdy—a little stiff, starched to maintain neat lines—its sleeves were embroidered to match his boots. The cut left the coat longer than most—a bit like Kaladin’s own captain’s coat, but more trendy.
Somehow Adolin wore the uniform, when the uniform had always worn Kaladin. To Kaladin, the uniform was a tool. To Adolin it was a part of an ensemble. How did he get his hair—blond, peppered black—so perfectly messy? It was both casual and deliberate at the same time.
He was smiling, of course. Storming man.
“You are here!” Adolin said. “Rock said he thought you were heading for your room.”
“Because I wanted to be alone,” Kaladin said.
“You spend too many evenings alone, bridgeboy,” Adolin said, glancing at the nearby exhaustionspren, then grabbing Kaladin by the arm—something few other people would have dared.
“I like being by myself,” Kaladin said.
“Great. Sounds awful. Today, you’re coming with me. No more excuses. I let you blow me away last week and the week before.”
“Maybe,” Kaladin snapped, “I just don’t want to be around you, Adolin.”
The highprince hesitated, then leaned forward, narrowing his eyes and putting his face up close to Kaladin’s. Syl still sat on Adolin’s shoulder, her arms folded—without even the decency to look ashamed when Kaladin glared at her.
“Tell me honestly,” Adolin said. “With an oath, Kaladin. Tell me that you should be left alone tonight. Swear it to me.”
Adolin held his gaze. Kaladin tried to form the words, and felt of the ten fools when he couldn’t get them out.
He definitely shouldn’t be alone right now.
“Storm you,” Kaladin said.
“Ha,” Adolin said, tugging him by the arm. “Come on, Brightlord Master Highmarshal Stormface. Change your coat to one that doesn’t smell like smoke, then come with me. You don’t have to smile. You don’t have to talk. But if you’re going to be miserable, you might as well do it with friends.”
Kaladin extracted his arm from Adolin’s grip, but didn’t resist further. He grabbed new clothes—tossing aside the ones he’d been fighting in.
He did, however, shoot Syl another glare as she flew over to him. “Adolin?” Kaladin said as he changed. “Your first thought was to get Adolin?”
“I needed someone you couldn’t intimidate,” she replied. “That list at best includes three people. And the queen was likely to transform you into a crystal goblet or something.”
Kaladin sighed and walked out to join Adolin, lest the highprince think he was dallying. Syl eyed Kaladin as she walked in the air alongside him, keeping up with him despite her dainty steps.
“Thank you,” Kaladin said softly, turning his eyes forward.”
- Rhythm of War
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