#it’s gendie speak

[lesbianp1lled]

I’m crying real tears this tif posted on instrgram reels saying people keep asking if she is amab or afab and all the comments were just like “you’re clearly afab” BYEEEE

[worstdykeever]

totally normal reaction to a man shooting his parents in cold blood. saying shit like 'they deserved it' and 'she did nothing wrong' is just victim blaming at its worst. also love the photoshopped picture on the right compared to what he really looks like on the left 😭

[daily-sonic-quotes]

TERFs aren't feminists, they're just sad conservatives who hate life and themselves

sonic

[gender-mailman]

pls tag me if you make anything Asmodeus or Leviathan themed (related to obey me but it doesnt even need to be obey me specific flvkdk)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAQVSKSGKZGSKS SO MANY PEOPLE LIKE THIS GAME THAT I DIDNT KNEW BEFORE!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! okay! Ill do that!

[lorynna]

i would consider myself a radical feminist also and i agree with the vast majority of your views. honestly i am just curious why you think aromantic/asexual people don't exist or shouldn't be labeled. i don't mean this as hate i'm honestly curious to know if it is part of most radical feminist views

if you can accept someone who is lesbian, and knows for themselves that they aren't at all attracted to men, why would you not accept someone who realizes both that they aren't attracted to men and they aren't attracted to women? (obviously very different identities and experiences i'm just wondering why some people can be trusted to know who they're not attracted to and others can't)

Hello anon, thank you for asking so kindly.

I am going to try and explain what my personal opinion on the topic is, as well as I can, and please keep in mind that I don't speak for the radical feminist community but just for my own views.

First of all, the definitions I have read of both terms (aromantic and asexual) so far aren't really specific, differ from each other at times and leave open room for interpretation. The gendies meanwhile continue to preach "everything means something different to each person" and "it is a broad spectrum" just like they do with gender, which according to them is so complicated and unfathomable that you have to ask each person identifying with it seperately, to know what their gender means to them.

The first thing that comes up when I google the definition of both terms displayed below (just as an example of what I mean):

Like, what do "sexual feelings" all include and to which extent does "little romantic attraction" go?

I do think that people who fit the mainstream criterias for being asexual or aromantic exist, I am not trying to say that it is naturally impossible to experience no sexual or aromantic attraction to anyone. I do think it is really really rare for this to authentically occur though, and that a lot of people identifying with these labels have experienced some kind of trauma or are doing it because it has become a trend.

The thing I most dislike about these labels are not only their inconsistency in definitions but also how much they are starting to get pushed online = trend. In my personal experience I have seen not only online but also offline how younger kids and teens start to pick up on these labels without knowing what they truly mean, because they are "cool" and just like gender it is starting to become a similar trend. Seeing who publicly identifies as those labels, it is again mostly the demographic of teenagers who are going puberty and the several different, crucial developmental phases that come with that.

Since you are asking if this is a common radfem belief, I cannot say. There surely is a variety of opinions, however I have seen some good takes from which I remember being said that a person doesn't need the label of "asexuality" or "aromanticism" as an excuse to not participate in dating culture or to not engage in sexual relations. It should just be common sense to not ask strangers about their dating lives and not ask "why" if they say they are not dating or having sex as if it was something unusual.

Also answering to your last question of "why I don't trust those people to know who they are attracted or not attracted to" is not what I am trying to do insinuate by questioning/criticizing the labels they use to describe said attraction. It is not about me trying to say "I don't believe you, you are lying" it is "why do you need those labels". I just don't think it adds anything valuable to society and it's getting more mainstream each day. Now even with teenagers using those labels when they haven't had the time to figure out themselves as a person yet. It just looses its meaning.

I've seen women going through long periods without having partners (radfems participating in male seperatism for example) being asked "oh, so you're asexual, right?" or "oh, so you're unable to form a romantic connection?" because people start assuming, forgetting that there are so so many reasons why people might not have partners or might not want to.

Again, people who truly are not experiencing any sexual desire or romantic desire are really rare but through so many people mindlessly adopting the label it looses it's meaning because it gets more broad in definition and everyone continues to define it for themselves. "Yeah, I am asexual but sometimes I have sex. Like once a month but that's barely enough so I must be asexual." Like... you might just have a low libido and that's totally okay! Why do you feel the need to label yourself as asexual? Is it easier because of your partner's expectations, maybe? Is a simple no not enough for them?

"I'm 15 and I haven't had a crush on anyone so far. I actually think boys/girls are ew and I can't imagine kissing anyone, like ew saliva. Also the girls/boys in my class are so annoying!!" And no, I've heard statements like this several times before. I mean, give yourself some time you're only 15.

Why do we always have to slap a label on top of everything and why can't we just go through life saying "yeah at the moment I really don't feel like having a partner, I don't want to date or have sex. Maybe that will change someday, maybe not and either way it's okay, I'm open for change. " but we have to say "oh yes, I'm an asexual aromantic without doubt and that won't change, that's my identity" and then when that changes we get an identity crisis realising that oh, maybe that wasn't me? Who am I now?

It all boils down to me not being able to take those labels seriously anymore, which is why I reacted so sarcastically in the post you're probably referring to, where I talked sarcastically about those terms.

"labels are different for anyone"

like no.. to define means to limit, to define means to exclude people who don't meet those criterias and that's okay, that's what makes labels and words meaningful = contributing to a conversation of mutual understanding instead of having to first discuss what each person means by using one and the same word.

Like I can't go outside in a clothing store saying "oh I want a red dress" and when she shows me a red dress I then say "oh that's not red for me, that's yellow by my own definition." How do you expect everyone to effectively communicate by leaving the option open for everyone to seperately define one single term??

But as we know, the gendies aren't fans of definitions.

[mallloryrowinski]

You're a transphobe!!! You should be embarrassed

Okay this is getting old now. I know you probably won’t read this reply as you’re clearly refusing to educate yourself on what I stand for, but I wanna have this on my blog regardless so here we go.

I’m a radical feminist, and I’m gender critical. Being gender critical means recognizing that gender is a social construct made to keep women, as a class, oppressed on the basis of their sex, and uphold the patriarchy. The sex you’re born with is a fixed set of characteristics and is immutable (this is a fact. Sex is binary, not fluid. before you try to pull the intersex card, @/not-your-intersex-pawn here on Tumblr has posts that will explain this to you in much greater detail than I can, like their response here).

Now, your sex doesn’t say anything about you! It doesn’t mean a single thing, it just recognizes which set of biological characteristics you were born with. It doesn’t indicate your personality, hobbies, likes and dislikes, whatever. You are a whole person and your sex is just your sex. Women are and have been historically oppressed on the basis of their sex. Not because they identified as anything connected to the female sphere, they were forced into this sphere of subordination and yada yada (gender roles!) on the basis of them being born female. 

Gender, on the other hand, is an identity. Even the gendies themselves have lost the plot a little in my opinion as everything regarding gender now is just so… vague? But basically gender is an identity. Some say it’s innate, some say it isn’t. Most agree that you can change your gender, or at least “reclaim” it, if you believe it’s innate and that you were "born in the wrong body". You can claim any gender, actually, and define it however you please. 

Calling me “cis” would be incorrect not because I’m not a woman, but because I’m not part of the gender craze, meaning that’s an ideology I don’t subscribe to altogether. I don’t believe in it. There’s no such thing as gender. I’m just a woman, neither cis nor trans. 

There’s also an additional note that I would like to make here: as long as we as a society recognize gender, we’re gonna have people either conforming to it or resisting it, or claiming a different gender identity. This is basically the same as “as long as catholicism exists, we’re gonna have catholics, atheists, and people either converting to catholicism or abandoning it”. This does not refer to the group of people who go through physical sex dysphoria. This group may choose to access what you would call “gender-affirming care”, which isn’t gender-affirming for them, because they do not have a problem with their gender to begin with, and most of the time don’t even recognize gender as important/real. Their voices have been unfortunately silenced by the “new wave” of TRAs over the past 5 to 10 or so years, and I do not wish to speak on their behalf, you can do your own research on this, or listen to amazing people such as @/buct-reidentified here on Tumblr. 

If you disagree with me and do believe that gender is an important part of oneself - I don’t have a problem with that! You’re entitled to your own opinions just like I am to my own. If you read all this and still think I’m transphobic, I’m afraid there’s nothing I can do to help you. 

The reason I don’t include trans women in my feminism isn’t because I don’t respect their identity. But their identity is irrelevant when it comes to a movement focusing on the liberation from sex based oppression. What matters is their sex, whether you like it or not, because women are oppressed on the basis of their sex. You can identify as a trans woman but I genuinely hope that you’ll see how being a trans woman is different than being born with a female body. These two will face radically different experiences and challenges, each unique to that group. 

I do believe that trans people, of any kind, do need their own protections, safe spaces, etc. because they clearly are discriminated against and no one should be able to attack or discriminate against anyone because they don’t agree with their identity/the way they present themselves/whatever. 

I do support the preservation of same-sex spaces for women, but this isn’t rooted in fear of trans women but in protecting women from predatory men who exploit gender theory to gain access to these spaces and harm women. I’m sure we can both agree that these cases have happened and I’m not fear-mongering. This is not because all trans women are predators. This has happened and continues to happen because when you give predators and abusers a chance to be predatory and abusive with little to no repercussion by hiding behind an ideology like the gender one, they are typically eager to take it. Women have a right to their same-sex spaces because of the sex-based oppression they’ve faced throughout centuries. Taking these away or reforming places that are specifically sex-exclusive into inclusive ones is not fair to women and results in a zero-sum game. 

So basically, if you identify as a trans man and want me to accommodate you by using he/him pronouns, I have no problem with that. The same goes for they/them or she/her. I’m happy to respect and use your preferred pronouns because I respect you as a person. However, this doesn’t change my understanding of your biological sex. I simply recognize that you identify as trans, which is part of who you are, and I respect that. You believe in gender and I don’t, that’s okay. If you take it to the “I should be able to access sex-exclusive spaces because I identify as trans”, I would politely explain to you why I disagree with that and what options I believe we should make available instead. 

There a ton of points I haven't touched but that are related to this topic, but this is the basics.

[old-school-butch]

Hello again <3

I sent you an anon that you replied to on April 1st, which was me asking how ex-TIFs are received back into womanhood. Your reply gave me a little foothold which ended up very comforting as I started coming out rapid-fire to all my friends as detrans. this is primarily a message for other people in my situation, who are afraid and might want a template of what you might expect will happen once you do come out with it.

Predictably, most of my friends dropped me; I've 3 friends left. Two of which continue to support trans people but can accept that i have different opinions (as long as i'm "not mean") and one of which has seen the gender critical arguments, accepted them, and agrees. So, heavy losses, but not total losses. My two siblings seemed to sigh in relief and reveal that they never believed in genderism at all, which is odd, because in my 10 years of being trans not one of them challenged me on it. my mom fell into heavy guilt over "letting me" do all this, although i was 18 when i took testo and 19 when i got surgery, so she really could not have stopped me, legally. i suppose she mainly grieves knowing that had she had the right arguments she could have saved her kid this, but i've told her she is not to blame and i hope she recognizes that.

i haven't received any real harassment, not from anyone that i PERSONALLY know, though my family has received... harassment targeted at me? my sister had a classmate begin sending her copious pro-trans propaganda (contrapoints videos) which she instructed should be sent onward to me (sis did not comply). hilarious how my 10 years of direct experience is suddenly null and void and i'm assumed to know nothing about transness.... 6 months ago i was helping people sensitivity-write trans characters. now, i'm told i can't speak for the trans experience at all, and that i do not know what it's like to be a transmasc person. told that i need to listen to the arguments more carefully, that i don't LISTEN, when i literally lived this for 10 whole years. girl, on god? they tell me i don't get it and need to educate myself. and have empathy of course.

but in general, detransing, i've discovered that there are PLENTY of people who do not actually believe in genderism but who will play along simply out of fear or social pressure. my friends aside, who i knew through "queer" circles, everyone in my family (expect my mom) has revealed they never actually believed in it. i think this might contribute to why trans people bully dissenters so badly. they know this is the truth, that no one really buys it. i think, subconsciously, i have known that too. i never downloaded grindr, i never went into the men's bathrooms. i knew that despite testo and surgery and pronouns i could never challenge men as an equal in their eyes.

interestingly, making new friends is not that hard. I lead with the fact i'm detrans and "don't believe in all that shit" and people are VERY eager to be able to, suddenly, voice their real opinions without being called transphobic. they begin with probing questions, uncontroversial statements like "i agree they shouldn't put males in women's sports..." but if you continue to agree and not punish this daring on their part, they will reveal, with much relief and enthusiasm, what they really think. most people, normal people, really do not believe it all? i'm a brash person and can take irl confrontations quite well, hence i feel safe putting myself up as a transphobe off the bat. and people are very into this. so. the old ass saying, just be yourself.... normal people will not volunteer anti-genderist opinions on their own but when i continue to state thing after thing they open up and agree and eventually feel safe enough to admit their own thoughts. making friends, especially with non-gendie women, hasn't been that hard.

i'm going to write another message about same-sex attraction in the genderverse, but it's also a can of worms so i will make it separate from this one. again, thank you so much, for having anon on and listening, and letting us listen to each other without fear. i would hug you. to be continued

Thanks for the follow up!

My only comment is that I think most people play along out of kindness, it's not all bullying and fear, but that does impose a silence on everyone so everyone feels quite alone with their doubts.

[pillarsalt]

Seconding that last ask about pretending that gendies' straight relationships are gay ughhh one of my best friends is non binary and getting more aggressive about it lately (meaning that i have to bend over backwards every two seconds to use the correct pronouns, since our language literally doesnt have a neutral one) and i have to hear her rants about how MUCH she hates her disgusting female body and how shes different from a woman bc she doesnt align with feminity and that all her boyfriends have been actually gay for dating her AND pretend 1) that i dont take all that harmful discourse regarding being a woman at heart and 2) that i dont hurt from seeing her like this because i really love her. Its. Exhausting. SORRY this got long i just dk what to do 😭

oh my goddd the whole thing with nonbinary women and the fixation on the men they sleep with being gay because gender... it's crazy, the desire to control the sexual orientations of others seems like a pattern in the trans community, although obviously some are worse than others. I mean it matches the fixation on controlling how others perceive them in their private minds, ie. "we can tell when you're just using our pronouns to be polite and you don't actually SEE us as our stated gender" like anyone's private thoughts are your business? Controlling what we can say out loud isn't enough?

(Kind of a tangent: but a while ago I remember jeffrey marsh making a video with his male partner ((idr if they're married)), talking about how when jeffrey's identity changed from man to nonbinary, the partner's had as well, because he wasn't identifying as gay anymore. He had always perceived himself to be gay, it was a big part of his identity through his life, but he loves Jeffrey, and Jeffrey is no longer a man, and gay men love men, therefore he can't be gay. The guy looked so dejected and jeffrey kept having to persuade him to talk. Does anyone else remember this? I wonder if I can find the video. ((Obviously the straight girls with their gay boyfriends are a very different scenario.)) )

Anyway, I feel your pain, the thing with the pronouns I can't even imagine. The pure narcissism of complicating the simple act of speaking for everyone around you, making sure everyone expends a little extra brain power when talking to or about you... simply because you say so! Boggling.

Unfortunately, as I said on the last ask, not much you can do. It is very very hard to convince someone so entrenched in it to hear you out, and obviously you don't want to lose her, there's no great solution. The best thing you can do is to be there for her if and when she comes around to reality. It might be good if you guys could do some kind of activities together that have nothing to do with gender shit, ideally outdoors. The less time spent scrolling and ruminating, the better. But most importantly, take care of yourself, and don't take any shit either. You seem like a good friend, I hope things work out eventually.

[pineapplerightsideupcake]

Is it true your profile picture is a pineapple because you eat lots of pineapple in a fruitless attempt to get someone to finally go down on you?

You know that’s a debunked myth right? 40% of you people have never gone down on anyone. Which is probably why you are in my asks talking like a teenage virgin.

You also know sexually harassing a stranger will always reflect more poorly on you than on me right? Like people are going to see that rather than combat ideas, gendies sexually harass and threaten women who speak out.

More than a few radfems I know got peaked by behavior just like yours.

[gendiebrainrotreceipts]

What are your thoughts on content creator Jessica Kellgen-Fozard ?

I used to really love her videos and i was willing to overlook the gendie brainrot because it wasn't that bad but the stance she took on puberty blockers is genuinely a no turning back point for me. I know most people who speak on this are not willfully sharing misinformation and are just uniformed themselves but when your job is to educate people that's genuinely unacceptable. I'm so tired of LGB activists fighting against our own interests with this shit i'm so so tired

I’m sorry idk who that is

[codabound]

I think something that especially irks me about Rusty's portrayal of Kai, and specifically their inability and disliking towards speaking to cisgender women, is that this could've actually been an avenue to explore with his character, given it's not actually out of the realm of reality for "cis women" like Kai to not want to speak to other cis women.

Because surprise, surprise! No, women are not perfect flowery little angels with the only evil women in the world being trans women and any woman supportive of them. In fact, given I had to suffer through 3 years of middle-school (I guess technically 3 and a half because quarantine started mid-way through the 8th grade), as well as just generally growing up as a young autistic girl, I've had first-hand experience of how genuinely nasty and terrible other girls can be.

I myself often isolated myself from other girls my age, specifically because they were girls, because oftentimes, those were the people who were the absolute worse to me, for no other reason than the fact that I wasn't a conventionally attractive and sociable person like everybody else. It took me forever to basically unprogram my brain from the extreme anger I felt towards the female gender (and honestly the male gender too, I basically just hated everybody back then) because I genuinely just couldn't find myself entrusting anybody who identified or was born a girl because of the treatment I had to endure.

So honestly, I really relate a lot to Kai and his issue, and I'm kind of irked that his issue is downplayed and actively mocked as "evil idiot gendie slut who deserves nothing but the worst for daring not to be who we want him to be"

Sounds a whole lot like what I had to constantly hear growing up autistic...

[butchbarbieagainstterfs]

The failed boycott of the new HP game is a hilarious reminder of how, other than chronically online people who have no personality, no one actually buys into all of this gendie crap

I feel so bad for people who are actually trans who just want to live their lives, more and more are speaking up about all of this bullshit

If you cared about ‘actual trans people’, a) you wouldn’t unironically use terms like ‘gendie’ which is literally a terf term used derogatorily about trans folk and b) you would not buy the billionaire terf’s £60+ antisemitic wizard game instead of acting like you’ll die without it lmao

[patrocles]

i have a southern ass household so we’re teaching my 4 yo nephew ‘sir’ and ‘ma’am’ when speaking to elders But for the sake of progressiveness, i’m also introducing ‘chef’ as a gendy neuch option for people who’s gender he doesnt know and now he just uses “yes chef” and “no chef” for everyone

[joannerowling]

Re your tags on that one post: "reason 1 why I roll my eyes", thank you! Just effing thank you! I roll my eyes as well; I also roll my eyes when they cricitise her for going toe to toe with random tras and gendies on twitter, like who cares?? She can sooo afford it on the account of doing all of that good for this godforsaken planet. Honestly, and what are they doing? They're arguing with tras and gendies on tumblr dot com, and more than likely doing nothing for those that need help the most. Now don't get me wrong, sometimes I annoy tras and men on fb, and on here just for my amusement, but like, c'mon, be less hypocritical; if you're gonna hold something like that against JKR, well then, don't do it yourself. At least she's doing irl activism, unlike majority of them.

Yeah, i admit the Khelif episode isn't my favourite thing that happened but like, i think she has done enough good to be given the benefit of the doubt before being called "a conservative racist traitor" or whatever. Then again, we are speaking of people like menalez here so not much to expect.

[mithliya]

Hi! As a detransitioned teen in a public school, after seeing the misogynystic & detrimental affects of trans-activism and gender ideology (as well as speaking to many teachers & girls in this year who share similiar views but feel scared to speak up seeing as how many self-id gendies there are in our year and how all the male teachers enforce these 'diversity' tasks, as well as obviously being intimidated to be quiet) I am determined to write to the head-teacher as well as founders of the Team Alliance (LGBTQIA+) group at my school on the topic of 'lgb without the t' - and why promoting transgenderism to school-age children is harmful and upholds the patriarchy e.t.c.

I plan to add my story, and reference studies. I also plan to add quotes from women & girls of the community and have school signatures from my year to show support, or anonymous tallies for, an example being, how comfortable would you feel in a bathroom with a male or nales being allowed to enter there to prove my point.

I am aware of many of the factors, however I am unsure of how to structure this and which bases to cover in orders as well as *how*. I am not the best with wording articles and how to put the message of such topics across. Any help is largely appreciated, from master-post links to definitions of factors which I can expand upon or even just structural idea((s). I plan to hopefully spend all of summer curating this project. Thank you !!!

oof, thats quite a tough and big task to take on! i know ive shared stuff on this so maybe it would be of help to check out this tag. it is filled with articles showing issues with and inconsistencies within the movement namely from the angle of detransitioners & child transition.

[clowngames]

I'm trying not to talk about terfs as much on here because they have very little political power outside of attaching themselves to conservatives and fascists, but it is interesting the way they talk like alt-right 4channers and incels.

In an argument conversation with a radfem sometime last year I directly compared their use of the term "moid" to the incel term "femoid" and in response they basically agreed with the thought process of incels but for the gender-swapped version of the word.

Even terms like "peak" and "gendie," while not coming directly from 4chan, speak to that same specific combination of reactionaryism and social insulation/isolation. The same conditions that create terms like "blackpill" create "peak."

Now, in the past when I've spoken to radfems about the dangers of aligning with conservatives, it's been met mostly with agreement. One person linked a radfem magazine that had a thoughtful article on the subject, so at the very least there is some internal discussion going on. But it's not enough to stop working with conservatives; they have to stop thinking like one.