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[jackwinchester273]

Don’t you just love testing season? I have my last AICE exam today, but I still have AP and State testing. I’m a sophomore, and I have 9 big tests this year. Do you ever just make a mental to do list? Of everything you want to do over the next couple months?

I’m getting a job, doing community service, taking summer classes for highschool, getting into a Duel Enrollment program, playing gold, training for my NJROTC shoulder riffle team, training for armed basic and armed exhibition, attending summer seminars online, and still want to go on dates and stuff.

I have teacher and friends telling me I’m gonna get “burn out”. What dose that even mean? I’m running on fumes already, but if I stop I risk losing my chance at a good future.

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I was trying to make a sweet potato soup, but it’s really flavorless. It has sweet potatoes, carrots, tomatoes, and brown sugar. I don’t know what else to put in it, anyone have any ideas?

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Change

Do you have a take a second to reflect on how much a relationship has changed you? Like, I just called my girlfriend, and she didn’t pick up the phone, so I left her a voicemail. A few years ago, I would’ve gotten very anxious about this, and maybe even angry that she didn’t pick up my call. I know recognize that that is irrational, at least in my situation, and I am not offended by this. Sometimes I won’t be able to contact her for a week, or see her for a week, and I just know that she’s OK. I don’t need to freak out about it, I know that she still cares about me even if she’s not calling me all the time. So instead of getting upset or anxious, I left her a voice message telling her how much I loved her and that she’s awesome, and I understand that testing is going to be a pain in the ass, so we might not get to talk a lot, but that she’s going to kick ass and all her exams, and then I believe in her. And I know that she thinks the same about me, and that we are both confident that both of us will succeed. Security in a relationship is such a fucking amazing feeling.

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Luther and Sloane

I just realized that Luther, the man on the moon, space boy, fell in love with the girl would manipulates gravity.

When he was young and needed control, he fell in love with the girl that never had to work for anything, who had anything she ever wanted becuase she could take it.

Then, in the 60s, he is able to move in becuase he realizes that he has to work for everything, and falls out of love with her.

When he returns to 2019, he misses the way things were, the simple days. Like, when he had complete “control” of his life, and was on the moon. It’s seen in how simple the life he wants is. A wife and to travel. It’s basic, it’s simple, it’s obtainable. But the apocalypse stops it, but he has what he can. He wants to have a wedding and have his family get along.

Meanwhile, Allison already lived the “American Dream”. She got to live a life of fame and fortune with her first husband, and she got to be a mom. She realized the life lesson that she has to work for everything in the 60s too. And then after she lost Ray and Claire, she didn’t see the point. So, she wanted to go back to the simple life, and the last time she can rember feeling happy in the original timeline, was when she was young with Luther. She also starts acting rude to Victor, like how she was when they were growing up.

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I just tested out of AS level Phycology, and for the rest of the year, we have been watching Disney movies. So far, we watched Inside Out and are now watching Tangled.

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Umbrella Academy Drabbles and Headcannons

What would happen if the Hargreaves grew up normal, and all in the same timeline, including people from the 1960s?

Luther would still be a boxer. He would be supper into Astrology and making plans that he would cancel at the last mine if becuase “what if…” Solone would make sure he went on the trips he wanted to cancel and go to the party’s he spent days organizing but then framed out about. She would be a travel agent.

Diego would be a private detective, but would retire when Lila had their kid. He would get a job teaching at the police academy and then retire to be a High-school gym teacher when his kid got to high school. Lila would be a bounty Hunter. She meet Diego both working in the same case. She would take a long maternity leave, but would go back to working when her kid was 1 year old. Then, start working as a Phycology teacher when their kid went to Highschool

Allison would become an actress and have Claire. Once she used her powers on Claire and Patrick divorced her, she feel from fame and got half custody of Claire. Then, she started working at a hair salon in New York and meet Ray. They would fall in love and Ray would be really interested in the cultural impact of her films. He would want to direct her in a historical film about Malcom X, and she would fall in love with him. After a few more movies, they would get married. Then, they would have another kid together.

Klaus would still be an addict. He would need something to stop the ghosts. Ben would stay with him as they grew up and went to High school. After that, Klaus would live in the streets until he was in a house fire and was rescued by Dave. They would start arguing the next few times Parimetic Dave “saved” Klaus life. Eventually, Klaus would realize he was immortal and tell Dave there is no point in hanging out with him becuase he can’t save his life, but Dave would say that he really likes Klaus, and they would start dating. Later, Klaus would take to Victor about his powers, and Victor would help get him in the same medication Reginal put him on as a kid.

Five would grow up normal. He would be incredibly smart. He would get his bachelors degree by the time he was 18. He would get into the Naval academy and use his powers to work in special ops missions in Afghanistan.

Ben would work in marine biology. He would get his doctorate and teach college classes about marine biology and have a storing passion for understanding his horror. He would meet a teachers aid, Jill, and start dating her when she started teaching English classes.

Victor would write his book. It would be less if a tell all and more about Victor himself and growing up with his powers. He would make it clear that Reginald was a abusive father, and that him and his siblings are the victims of Phycology all trauma and abuse. He would then meet a single mom who is running away from her abusive husband, and let her stay in one of the many rooms of the Unbrella academy. A pregnant Lila would talk to Siisy about getting Harlem diagnosed with Autism. Victor and Sissy would fall in love, and open up the Unbrella academy as an orphanage for children who need it, mostly between the ages of 10-15.

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Stress cooking

Tonight, I made Autum Spice Soup, roasted chickpeas and jalapeños, and chocolate chip cookie dough pancakes for the next couple days.

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Mickey and Ian

I watched Shameless in less than a month. I only watched it because of Ian and Mickeys relationship, and there are some random thoughts about the show. This has nothing to do with the actors.

I hated that in the last season Ian shit talked Mickey to Lip and called him crazy and not marriage material and shit. He wanted to be with you even when you broke up with him and you were manic and you kidnapped his baby. He had been with you for years, chill out. He went to jail so you won’t be alone, stop bitching cause he ain’t perfect, your not perfect either.

I loved that Lip had a baby. I didn’t see it as a random thing, I saw it as a logical next step in his life. He wanted to be a dad since Karen’s pregnancy, and was ready to do anything for her and the kid, this was the ending he deserved.

I loved Carl’s ending. Him being a cop, having experience with being in gangs so he can help more people? Being community oriented and loving his town, opening up his own cop bar? And that girl who may or may not be pregnant with his kid? I liked it. Now, I don’t think it’s his kid, I kinda hope that it’s gonna be that she’s a surrogate or something, but then Carl wants to make sure she’s okay, and she explains it to him, and then they start going out again and eventually get married and adopt kids. I think Carl would have the “Why should I bring more kids into this hell hole of a world when there are so many who already need a him” mindset and help get kids out of foster care and out of gangs.

Mickey would be a terrible dad. So would Ian. They would adopt a dog or something, maybe even a cat, but not kids.

Fiona should have taken Liam with her. Just taken him out of the city, get him in a better community with a good public education system.

I can see Liam being a kid who does AP classes and gets his associates degree before he turns 18. He’s really smart and driven. And I think he would do it out of spite to make something of himself. He just needs to get somewhere where he has those opportunity’s.

Debbie isn’t a terrible mom. She’s not a good mom, but she made something of herself and has a job and supports herself and her child. She is a better mom than Monica. She’s a better mom to Franny than Fiona was to Liam.

Debbie treated Liam like shit. I can barely remember them interacting on screen.

I wish Debbie never got a pregnancy plot line. Bad writing. I wish she put the kid up for adoption or something or had a miscarriage, becuase trying to be a mom was most of her character. Until she fucked that mom and the moms kid, which was way out of left feild.

I wish Mandy was in the show more, she deserved a real plot. Her own story line, and she had the potential to be apart of the main cast.

I can’t rember her name, but Mickeys best woman at his wedding? The one Debbie dated? Hates the hole, I had a secret family thing. They could have written that better. For Debbie, that should not have been a deal breaker.

Franks death was preformed well, written well, and was timed well.

Frank and Ian should have had a talk about how Ian is Frank’s nephew, not his son.

Monica should have had a better death.

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Lucy Gray

Holy shit, I just saw the poster for A Ballad of Song Birds and Snakes! Here are my thoughts

Love Snows casting. He looks sophisticated and young, but in the parts where he has a bald head, damn. Don’t know why, but that just made me think EVIL COP.

I liked how give poster was focused on Snow. I know, Lucy is a queen, but I didn’t want it to be her movie. It’s Snows backstory, his origin story, and I really liked how it was told. Threw the book, I was rooting for Snow to run away with Lucy. I knew he didn’t, but I wanted to believe he would, so it made his betrayal even better

The gold! I love all the gold on it

I looks like a book cover. I could totally see that as a hardcover copy of the book, and I’d buy it.

I liked Lucy’s actress in West Side Story, and I can’t wait to hear her songs. I hope they pull a Daisy Jones and get her Lucy Gray album and have her family singing on them.

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Self Care

I just slept for around 3 hours in the afternoon, eat toast and eggs for dinner, and am now about to dye my hair from brown to blonde. This is my version of self care, I’ve tried reading and writing and cooking and painting. They work sometimes, but I am far too overwhelmed for that right now, so bleaching my hair. Let’s hope it’s not orange becuase I don’t have any purple shampoo.

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Crimson Rivers

Don’t get me wroung, Marleens death gutted me, but when Doleras went to shoot Minerva? And that whole, “She though the gun was loaded.” That was worse.

I was listing to the audiobook while walking to class when they had that scene where Riddle “killed” all of them, and I swear I stopped walking so fast people ran into me. I was like, what the fuck, no way! And the Snapes, “My mother’s name was…” AHHHHH! Holy shit!

I didn’t really like that Sirus was the one to kill Albus. I didn’t like him, but I wished it had been Alice or Dolorace. Imagain the angst of having Alice lose their mind and break down screaming at Albus while he just sits their calmly, and then Alice snapping his neck? Would have been sadder, but more deserved.

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“I will prey in the bottom of my ocean where my body will lay.” I have my final English exam tomorrow, and the teacher asked if we needed to review anything. Someone said, “All we can do now it pray.” The teacher went on a rant about how she can’t sanction any religious practice. That is what a girl said, above.

As I’m writing this, the teacher asked for a comparison. (I’m in AP and college classes as a sophomore), and the same girl just said “All if these students in a zoo, stuck in cages, preforming for academic validation.” What the fuck?! She’s officially badass in my book. And she’s this popular, sporty girl who’s really smart and has long blonde hair. Maybe I just find everyone attractive, but there was definitely something hot about her speaking like a sad, dead poet. Damn, I have a weird type.

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Crimson Rivers

I started Crimson Rivers thinking it was gonna be some stupid fan fiction, and only reading it for the Wolfstar. Now, I love Regulus Black, and James Potter is the best husband ever. Who’s Katniss Everdeen? Never heard of her. The hunger games happened when Regulus Black and James Potter got reaped.

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Songs that Remind me of my GF

Invisible String by Taylor Swift

Why? Becuase we meet in 4th grade. We were friends for years before we started dating, and we’ve been together for over a year and we’re still in Highschool. We’ve know each other for years, been close, and our family’s like us. Like, my family likes her and her family likes mine.

peace by Taylor Swift

Why? Becuase I feel like I’ll screw up our relationship, and that she’s too good for me. She’s so smart and so supportive, she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. She’s my favorite person ever.

Eden by Hozier

Why? Just vibes of the song

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I’m re watching Inside out, and Is a really good example of depression and toxic positivity. I really like how Joy literally cannot let Riley stop acting like she’s happy. She’s really not, and she shouldn’t have to be happy, and all the emotions are telling her “There is absolutely no reason for Joy to be happy.”

But Joy won’t listen. She still wants Riley to be her parents “Happy little girl”, and then the mom tells Riley how luck she is that her daughter is always happy, but she’s not, she’s just faking it a lot. And Sadness sees that, and tells Joy about it. Whoever Joy remberes Riley, it’s from the past, while Sadness rembered her from the present. It’s really interesting.

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Teen

It’s funny how certain rules apply to different age groups. Like, as a kid, your expected to follow rules all the time. Then, as a teen your expected to break them. And as an adult, you have to follow them again? Like, what the fuck?

I want to take advantage of being a teenager. I want to go into class with hickeys and get caugh making out in the hallway and to vape in the bathrooms and drink bad beer with my friends. I want to break the rules, but it’s just so cliched that it’s lame now.

At the same time, I feel like I don’t do these things becuase I don’t really like doing them. Cants stand weed, beer is gross, making out is too wet, and hickeys are impractical. But this feels like the only time I can do these things, so if I don’t know, then when will I ever get another chance?

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Books

I really like books. And stories. I like how everything ends and begins and it’s black and white. And even when there are morally grey characters, they are either the protagonist or the antagonist. It’s pretty black and white. Here are some of my favorite books…

ill give you the sun Dante and Aristotle Discover The Secrets of the Universe

The Story of Edgar Sawtelle

The Boston Girls

solitaire

When the Moon was ours

Red White and Royal Blue

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo

Hell Followed With Us

and some “unpublished” works…

All the Young Dudes

Crimson River