#it’s crazy that this game does legitimately have writing flaws and this is what so many people are focused on.

[demynom]

Why are there so many posts about proving that the two first canonically gay final fantasy characters are not actually in love and were never in love, despite being presented in a way that is natural and authentic (and deeply compelling) in the context of what kind of story it is

[thenexusofsouls]

Still trying to finish a fanfic I began years ago...

{i am the caretaker of souls} I am going to try during my upcoming work hiatus if I have some time between answering the onslaught of student emails I'm sure I'll get, haha, to revisit a fanfic I began years ago but never finished. I actually wrote right up until the end, and then didn't write like... the last two scenes. It involves Nuada ending up in Silent Hill. I put a lot of work into it, even gave it a soundtrack of all SH songs I chose off of the various game soundtracks that I thought fit different events of the fanfic, heh.

I spent a lot of time choosing which creatures I wanted to throw at him and thinking about what would happen when he met the cult and all that. I set it in the movie verse (the first one, we... we don't talk about the second movie, dear gods it was atrociously bad for so many reasons), but added back in a lot of the lore, locations, and creatures from the games.

Once I finish it, I'm not sure how I would even post it anywhere, since AO3 and FanFiction.net don't allow supplementary files like soundtrack listings or explanations about creature symbolism. And it's too long to post here. But assuming I can actually finish it, and figure out a good way to post it and its supplementary files, how many of you would be interested in reading such a fic? If you can, like or reply to this post and let me know. I'm just trying to gauge whether this is something I complete just for myself, or something I should look to polish up to share with others.

I've thought over the years of adding the town of Silent Hill as a muse, heh, but I'm not sure how much interest there would be for that, and I'm not sure I could pull it off well. Basically, SH is controlled by a demon and the soul of a corrupted little girl. The demons wants souls, and the girl made a pact with the demon to get revenge on those who wronged her. The demon can't get to those people, though, because their blind conviction within their own cult protects them as long as they remain inside their church. Someone has to bring or invite the demon in before it can live up to its end of the bargain. That's... the simplified movie plot. The games are crazy with endless lore and I don't have five years to explain it to you, heh.

But... what the "town" or this demon does, is trap you once you get inside and then slowly try to draw out of you your hidden guilt, shame, crimes, selfishness, madness, etc. that you've been suppressing or lying to yourself about. It'll do this by subjecting you to different horrific creatures (some of which are other people who have been consumed by the town, others are creations that are symbolic in various ways for the kind of hidden skeletons in your personal closet), to frightening imagery, and to dangerous situations, until the stress makes your mind crack. When you crack, your true colors show. If you insist that you're not guilty, or continue to be in denial, or refuse to learn anything, your soul gets collected by the demon and you're there for all eternity. If, however, you show remorse, take responsibility, have a legitimate change of heart, or are changed by you're put through for the better, the demon can't take your soul and you may just walk out of SH alive.

That is.... the really simple overview, heh. But yeah, Nuada is in denial about a lot of things, he's done a lot of terrible things, his whole plan to wipe out humans is really flawed and he refuses to see that... so... the town would have a field day with him, and I wanted to take him through that process and see what kind of growth I end up with for him. And I've thought about adding the town as a muse so that other people could put their muses through the whole process if they wanted to, but years ago a friend of mine tried to do the same thing so I didn't want to step on her toes at all, and since then I feel like my details on locations and lore and things have slipped. It could be fun, or it could be a complicated mess, heh. I don't think I'll be doing this anytime soon but it is an idea I think about from time to time. Let me know your thoughts on this, if you like!

Anyhoo, I've loved the SH franchise for so many years, as long as I've loved Resident Evil. Survival Horror is my jam, heh. If you don't know anything about it and you want to, feel free to message me about it, but be prepared for me to talk... way too much. XD

For now, I sleep, but do let me know your thoughts about any of this, if you are so inclined, and I'm going to make a decent effort to at least finish this fanfic because it has been left unfinished for too damn long, heh.

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

Meeting and Dating Charlie MacKenzie

(Not my gif)(Requested by @jotaro-spengler​)

(Sorry this post took so long. I literally changed the entire meeting story last minute because I’m an indecisive perfectionist so it took a lot longer to write than expected. Hope you enjoy!)

- You and Charlie getting together was really all Tony’s fault. He just had to go and mention you: shine the spotlight in Charlies mind right on you and say look here you fool, a beautiful woman who you already care about and who already cares about you.

- That wasn’t really how it happened of course. All Tony had actually done was say something along the lines of “now take a look at my sister-”, using you as an example in some scenario he came up with rather than giving his friend a recommendation. 

- But, in Charlie’s half listening mind, all he heard was “take a look at my sister” and take a look he did. 

- You were a little younger; which tended to be the case when it came to younger sisters of friends that were his age, and you were pretty. You had a nice personality, you thought he was funny on occasion, and you weren’t a total stranger who he could easily find a flaw; that he didn’t already know about, in. 

- Why not give it a shot? Worst case scenario, you say no or he breaks your heart and loses his best friend in the future. But hey, it was Tony’s idea to begin with, right?

- So he visits you at work, making small talk; as per usual since this was a fairly normal occurrence for the two of you, before trying to ask you out as casually as he could. 

- Initially, you think that you’ve misunderstood him or that he’s misspoken, then you think that he joking, …and then you just think he’s gone crazy. You quite literally ask him if he’s feeling alright because it’s so out of the blue and unexpected.

- But, once you come to terms with the fact that this is a legitimate request, …you agree. 

- I mean, it’s not like the idea never popped into your head. You’ve known the guy since middle school: of course you’d considered it; though you’d never imagined that it would actually come to fruition. 

- Nevertheless, here you were, giving each other somewhat awkward smiles and arranging a time and place. 

- Your first date is initially going to be just a regular dinner at some diner down the street that the two of you; and your brother, often frequented but you quickly find that it just feels wrong to go there: like the two of you are still just two friends. 

- So you scratch that idea and find yourselves wandering around town, buying some food from a street vendor and taking in the atmosphere of the night. What started out as a; frankly, uncomfortable first date ends up turning into one of the best you’ve ever had.

- It’s no surprise that the two of you get along. The question is whether or not you fit as a couple so; regardless of whether or not you’d normally do it, you decide to have your first kiss before the night is over to test out the romantic chemistry between you. 

- It may not be the most romantic first kiss in the world; considering the fact that you literally both talk about and agree to it like it’s some sort of business deal or logical course of action, but you enjoy it nonetheless and it gives the two of you some clarity. 

- He likes you and you like him and the two of you are happy together. You just hope that it lasts....

- Charlie really doesn’t care about what other people think, in fact, he sort of likes to bother and gross people out so he never minds engaging in a bit of pda. If he feels like kissing the hell out of you, he’s gonna do it; regardless of whether or not there’s people around. 

- Interlocked arms or holding onto his arm as the two of you walk together. He likes having you close to him so literally securing you to his side by your arm is a helpful form of affection. 

- Handholding. He’ll usually swing your arms back and forth whenever you do. 

- Cheek kisses. He’s a fan of both giving and receiving them so it definitely goes both ways. 

- Excited, feverish, and passionate kisses. You tend to just lay one on each other at random; oftentimes catching the other person a little off-guard, so these types of kisses are pretty common in your relationship. 

- Kissing in the rain; sometimes with him kicking his leg up in the air behind him. 

- He tends to just call you by your given name; or a teasing nickname on occasion. He finds that using pet names just aren’t his thing and that a lot of them cause him to roll his eyes more than anything else. 

- The two of you really don’t have a “usual” cuddling position since you tend to just do whatever feels right or makes the most sense. Some days you cuddle with your head on his arm, other days he’s the big spoon, and sometimes you’re the big spoon. 

- Back scratches and shoulder kisses. 

- Taking baths together. 

- You know the meme about the person getting into their partners shower fully clothed so that they can ask them a question? That’s the type of shit that he does constantly. Sometimes you just have to sit back and consider the fact that you may be dating either an idiot or a crazy person. 

- Getting his help when you’re trying to pick out your outfits. 

- Going to his open mic nights. 

-  Having poems written about you. …They’re pretty bad....

- If you're dating Charlie, you have to stop caring about how other people view you because there’s no way you’re not going to do; at least a few, ridiculous things out in public together. The two of you are constantly doing dumb shit so just try to ignore any judgmental looks you may or may not receive. 

- Chasing each other around and playing other childish games. 

- Frolicking and dancing like children of the night~

- Double dates with Tony and his girlfriends. 

- Diner dates. 

- Wandering around the city together. 

- Buying from different street vendors and food trucks. 

- Cruising around town with his top down and the radio turned to your favorite station. 

- Sitting out on his roof with him. 

- He loves seeing you smile so expect a lot of dumb jokes and comments that are meant to make you laugh. 

- Teasing each other. You like to call him “nice” just to mess with him. 

- Convincing him to do different things with you. You know that it wasn’t his idea to go on that Alcatraz tour with Tony so it’s safe to say that he can be persuaded into accompanying you just about anywhere. 

- Taking different classes together; though you probably shouldn’t take him to those sorts of things …for the sake of your teachers sanity. 

- Getting visited at work. He’ll always insist that he was “in the neighborhood” but he absolutely was not and totally drove all the way over just to see you. 

- Speaking of work: he would definitely offer to help you with whatever task you had to do just to ease your workload and spend more time with you. It would also probably get him into the good graces of your boss so the man/woman would be a lot more lenient with him hanging around. 

- Finding your own ways to quiet his rambling. He tends to just keep talking whenever he’s nervous or feeling shy so you’ll have to learn the best way to quiet him whenever he gets like that; which usually means you’ll be kissing him or saying something he wants to hear. 

- Telling each other stories. His are usually exaggerated to an outrageous degree but you never really mind; it’s sort of more amusing to see where his brain takes him than to just listen to a normal story.   

- Family get togethers. You’ll usually sit in the kitchen with him and his mother while Tony and his father watch some sports game in the living room. 

- Interesting interactions with his family; namely his father. The man’s a little hard to get along with but he’s certainly entertaining. 

- He'll always check on you before leaving you alone, making sure you’re okay before he ditches you to do something; even if it’s just using the rest room for a minute. 

- Him getting advice from Tony. Regardless of whether or not you want to picture yourself as the mans sister, he’s going to be your best ally when it comes to surviving your relationship; so you might want to get on his good side if you weren't already.

-  Having to get through his sabotage stage. 

- Charlie tends to get scared and break up with people when things are getting too serious so don’t be surprised if; or when, it happens to you. The good thing is that, if it’s meant to be, he’ll come to his senses and dedicate himself towards getting you back; usually with some big cute gesture. 

- Just not feeling like yourself? No problem! He’ll be completely understanding and accept that you just aren’t happy; all while doing whatever he can to put a little pep in your step. 

- He’s not an incredibly jealous person but he is cautious. He’ll never refuse to let you hang out with someone or do something but he will keep an eye on your relationships with other guys. Not because he doesn’t trust you but because he doesn’t want you winding up in an awkward position because you couldn’t see the red flags of encroaching romance. 

- He’s somewhat protective of you; oftentimes sticking out his own neck to save yours. Although he’ll usually; awkwardly, try to settle things in a peaceful manner after an aggressive outburst at someone or something; usually because he only then realizes how big and threatening they are. 

- The two of you fake fight every now and again but real fights only happen once in a blue moon. You get along incredibly well so it isn’t often that you can’t settle things in a peaceful manner; especially since he approaches you very calmly whenever he has a problem. 

- Because most of his issues with you are reasonable, fights usually end before they even begin. But if they don’t and you wind up having a legitimate argument or fight, he’s always willing to apologize; especially since he’ll feel extremely guilty for upsetting you. 

- He mainly shows you that he loves you but he definitely isn’t opposed to saying the actual words. 

- As afraid of marriage as he normally is, he actually proposes to you pretty quickly. I guess when you know you know? 

[actualbird]

nobody asked but here i analysed polygon’s “unraveled” and bon appetit test kitchen’s “gourmet makes” and i think they are similar and use three key story elements to their success | a 1.9k word long analysis by an unhinged creative writing fresh grad trying desperately to use their degree to connect two dots

If you asked me who my favorite internet celebrities are, I would not hesitate for a second to answer. Brian David Gilbert from Polygon and Claire Saffitz from Bon Appetit Test Kitchen. They’re awesome! They both host popular YouTube webshows about video games and cooking respectively, two things I am terrible at and don’t do very often. And yet I am enraptured by every episode of their shows. Why? How?

My thesis is this: Polygon’s “Unraveled” and Bon Appetit Test Kitchen’s “Gourmet Makes”, while wildly different shows on many levels, are extremely similar in how they use three key story elements very, very, well.

These three story elements are 1) Plot, 2) Character, and 3) FAWWIEOT (it’s an acronym, I’ll explain it later, I promise)

Let me start with the first and most basic story element these two shows wield amazingly: Plot.

Plot is, in simplest terms, what “happens” in a thing. This is what you’ll find on a movie’s Wikipedia page summary, the details of what went down, the events that took place, the things that occurred. There are many different types of plots because there are many different types of stories, but one of the most basic kinds of plots is very clearly illustrated by something called Freytag’s Pyramid.

Freytag’s Pyramid is a very simple plot that is moved forward by a non-negotiable in many, many stories: conflict. All is well, the line is straight, then a challenge arises and things start to escalate. At the climax, a decision or a group of decisions are made that leads to a de-escalation of the conflict, bringing things down until we are back at a flat line and the conflict has been resolved.

Every single episode of Gourmet Makes can be plotted onto Freytag’s Pyramid

Nearly every single episode of Unraveled can be plotted onto Freytag’s Pyramid too (with the exception of some, like a number of the categorization episodes, the Kojima name generator)

I know what you’re thinking. “So what if Gourmet Makes and Unraveled fit on some funky pyramid? What does that mean?” Well, dear reader, it reveals to us just one of three reasons why these shows are so enjoyable.

Freytag’s Pyramid is basic as shit, and yet it is one of the first plot structures taught to fictionists because people, up to this day, like it. Why? Because Freytag’s Pyramid fulfills two very important desires that we, as humans, love. 1) The desire for there to be a problem and 2) the desire for that problem to be resolved. It scratches our eternal itch to want to watch shit go down but doesn’t leave us up on a cliffhanger, it gives us our catharsis.

Gourmet Makes gives you the entertainment of watching Claire struggle with her task. Then Gourmet Makes shows you Claire slowly and surely rising above the challenge (notable in literally every episode of Gourmet Makes). Unraveled makes you watch BDG work himself up into a frenzy trying to do something stupid, but then Unraveled shows the payoff of...of watching BDG do something stupid, but this time towards some kind of resolution (very notable in the latest Unraveled “How to increase your stamina with terrible video game tactics”).

It is clear to me that Gourmet Makes and Unraveled both use plot in a way that gives viewers satisfaction. But what keeps them coming back for more?

Well that leads us to the second story element: Character.

People love Claire Saffitz and BDG.

Don’t believe me? Look through the tags of literally any gifset of either of them. Here, I did it for you. Here’s some tags for Claire:

And here’s some tags for BDG:

It’s pretty obvious to see that these two are well loved, but why? It’s not just because they’re both good looking, it’s because Claire Saffitz and BDG, with how they are presented in their shows, are good characters.

Claire Saffitz in Gourmet Makes isn’t scripted. She brings her own human frustration, determined hard work, and joyous glee to the show and it makes watching the show all the more enjoyable. BDG in Unraveled, however, is scripted, but he brings to the table his chaotic performance and ‘off the shits’ lecturer energy that brings the viewers in. Regardless of their differences, Gourmet Makes and Unraveled are similar when it comes to character because of one thing: they actually have characters.

What am I talking about? Well, for a period of time on the internet, people in the cooking media sphere and the video game media sphere settled for video content that was divorced from who was presenting the information. Videos like the ones from Tasty where everything was filmed top down and you only saw two hands perfectly putting ingredients into a bowl. Videos like the myriad of video game walkthroughs or video essays that are presented only by a disembodied voice who also seems allergic to actually having fun. This is content that hinges on the fact that people like seeing cooking or video games and that the presenter will mostly just be a background thing.

Bon Appetit Test Kitchen and Polygon both did not want to succumb to this style of presenting information. They both made the decision to bring their presenters into their video content, highlighting their respective presenters’ personalities, quirks, and styles. This is evident in all of Bon Appetit Test Kitchen and Polygon’s video content, not just Gourmet Makes and Unraveled. Do I watch Bon Appetit's show It's Alive because I want to actually make foccacia? No, it's because I love how Brad Leone  mispronounces words and makes me laugh. Did I watch "Fixing Anthem’s boring mech’s with ballsy design" because I actually give a shit about video games? No it's because I love how Pat Gill jokes about fake testicles and also I think he's hot.

The fact that there are actually characters for us on screen to see, makes Gourmet Makes and Unraveled good shit. We’ve got a plot with clear conflict, but that means nothing if there are no personas for us to root for. Gourmet Makes and Unraveled gives us these personas. They give us Claire Saffitz whom we want so desperately to see smile and succeed. They give us Brian David Gilbert whom we want so desperately to see go a little bit crazy. They give us people to connect to, and that often bridges the gap to viewers who honestly don’t give a shit about cooking or video games. Viewers like me who just keep coming back to Gourmet Makes and Unraveled because of the fact that these are characters I care about, these are characters who I want to see smile after finally nailing the recipe or slowly take off their suit as they tell me shit about Zelda I don’t understand.

Gourmet Makes and Unraveled utilize plot in a way that makes these webshows satisfying, and they use character in a way that makes these webshows accessible and keeps people invested.

But they go further.

This brings us to our last story element, not exactly a common or rudimentary one, but an important one nonetheless: Fucking Around With What Is Expected Of Them.

(I know there’s probably a legitimate literary term for this, but sue me, quarantine has kept me stuck in my house since March, so I may have forgotten the exact words I learned in class. FAWWIEOT will have to suffice.)

The gist of FAWWIEOT is that stories have been around for fuckin ever, and because of that, there are clear patterns and tropes that stories follow. FAWWIEOT is the recognition of those patterns and tropes, using them, but finding a different outcome or flair to make themselves special, to make themselves stick out. Kinda like when you’ve got a fic on AO3 tagged with ‘friends to lovers’ but also tagged with like, I dunno, something completely random like ‘character is also a dragon’. Use the tropes, but do something different. Give the audience something they already know, then throw in something new to make them remember your content specifically.

Gourmet Makes and Unraveled FAWWIEOT (I’m using the acronym like a verb now, this is my post, I’m allowed to) very purposefully using an important technique: Flaws.

The standard trope of a cooking show is the chef easily talking to the camera as they perfectly put the ingredients together. All the food comes out perfect on the first try and everything is heavenly and wonderful. Classic cooking shows like Barefoot Contessa (hosted by Ina Garten) and Everyday Italian (hosted by Giada de Laurentiis) followed this pattern, and it made for good television.

But who fucking watches television these days? Everything is online now, and the internet is vicious. If you aren’t interesting, the internet will throw you out to the gutter. So how did Gourmet Makes set themselves apart?

By showing you that things aren’t perfect after all. Gourmet Makes shows you every trial that Claire tries, they show you her successes, but also her failures. They show you when she gets tired and hopeless, they show you when she bounces back and tries again. Gourmet Makes made a cooking show that was flawed, and people loved it.

And what about Unraveled? The design of Unraveled, from BDG’s suit and mug to his presenting style, key us in to the fact that we are watching some sort of lecture. Some kind of educational performance. Personally, this makes me think that Unraveled is FAWWIEOT-ing academia and basically any other media where an “expert” talks at you.

The standard pattern of experts talking to you are basically like TedTalks. You have somebody very well versed in the topic trying to explain to you something, showing you their hypothesis, their process, and their findings.

Unraveled FAWWIEOTs expertise by making BDG research the most crazy shit like OSHA regulations or the Geneva Convention, make the wildest hypotheses like ‘Monster Energy in the morning will be a good idea’ or ‘Sonic is blasphemous’, and then, ultimately, completely unravel himself. The expert in Unraveled isn’t an all knowing being who is always right, he is flawed (and loses his marbles, more often than not.) And we love it.

FAWWIEOT-ing is key because of how it gives us a pattern we know, and then does something new. Novelty is important on the internet, and Gourmet Makes and Unraveled have made a name for themselves on the unique way they Fucked Around With What Was Expected Of Them.

Gourmet Makes and Unraveled are two of my favorite webshows on the internet as of now, and there are many reasons why, many reasons I didn’t include in this post. What I wanted to do here is to highlight how these shows use story elements to be good content because at the core of these videos, even if they aren’t literary fiction, they are good stories. Good stories with a plot that satisfies us, with characters we can see and love, with new twists that keep us on the edge of our seats.

Good stories make for good content, and Bon Appetit Test Kitchen and Polygon have me as a subscriber for as long as they continue on this road.

Thanks for reading!

(Read my other Polygon-adjacent analysis essays at actualbird.tumblr.com/tagged/nobody-asked-but

If you have any suggestions or ideas for more Polygon-adjacent analysis essays I can write, send me an ask!)

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael in the Mainstream: The Nostalgia Critic

I have been a fan of the Nostalgia Critic for years now. That’s a rather controversial stance to take nowdays, especially in light of recent controversies; first was the big #ChangeTheChannel movement which had the entire site sans Brad Jones performing a mass exodus elsewhere with some even going so far as to brutally cut ties with Doug for his and managements failings (with Alison Pregler, AKA Obscurus Lupa offering some especially harsh words). Then was this year’s review of The Wall, where he utilized his divisive clipless style and his complete lack of a good singing voice to create what is hands down one of the worst videos – not even just review, VIDEOS – on YouTube. But even with those two things aside, I do think there is some value to the work of Doug Walker. He became popular for a reason, right? So what is that reason? Where did he go wrong?

Doug Walker began doing his Nostalgia Critic schtick in the wake of James Rolfe’s Angry Video Game Nerd becoming an internet icon, and he quickly became one of the bigger faces in the wake of imitators Rolfe spawned. The conceit of his show is rather simple – he reviews nostalgic movies, mostly stuff from the 80s or 90s, with occasional forays into the 2000s – all while parodying the typical internet film critic much as Rolfe parodied the typical nerd gamer. The Critic, you see, is not necessarily Doug, but instead a hyperactive psychotic manchild version of himself who screeches, shoots, and curses up a storm while reviewing movies. It wasn’t too different from other review shows at the time, really, but Doug had a sort of corny charm that really worked.

As time went on, production values slowly increased, Doug’s humor sharpened, and eventually actual thoughtful film analysis crept in, especially in the post-reboot episodes. In fact, that is something I generally like about Doug’s work, and why I even bother with him still: the man clearly has an understanding of film theory, he knows what he’s talking about, and when he takes the time to sit down and actually talk about movies he’s actually pretty insightful. I think of his reviews of stuff like Ghostbusters 2,where he actually gave a genuinely great alternate plotline for the film that would have better utilized the concepts and characters, or any of his numerous video essays on film issues like whitewashing. When it’s Doug just sitting down and talking about a film while cracking jokes here and there, it tends to be really good.

However, Doug has increasingly wanted to add some spice to his reviews in the forms of skits. And it’s not like there never were bits in his reviews back in the day, but post-revival He ramped up the amount of skits, utilizing a cast of friends, with the current mainstays being Malcolm Ray and Tamara Chambers. I do sort of like the weird cast of characters the show has amassed, and I think they really help give the show an identity to set it apart from other review shows. Malcolm and Tamara are honestly, genuinely funny and enjoyable, though the writing doesn’t always play to their skills and can sometimes be a bit obnoxious. I think I’d have to say Malcolm is probably my favorite of the bunch, as he has the wackiest roster of amusing characters, with roles such as Satan, Black Willy Wonka, and good ol’ Bill. And some of his best reviews have crazy skits. His Moulin Rouge review is a standout example; even if I don’t agree with his opinions, he manages to make the musical interludes fun, funny, and actually filled with some sort of commentary relating to the film.

I think the real issues with the skits is they sometimes bog down the reviews or go on for a bit too long.  Some of them also just plain aren’t funny at all, or they use really bottom of the barrel cringeworthy comedy that the Critic himself has criticized in his reviews. Of course, the pinnacle of these problems are his clipless reviews, which are basically just Doug and pals reenacting whatever movie he’s reviewing. On paper, this seems like a fun and amusing idea, but the execution is often extremely poor. See, the thing about the Nostalgia Critic is that you’re ostensibly going to him to see criticism and see if something is worth watching; the thing with his clipless reviews is that they require intimate familiarity with the source material for you to even get half of the jokes he’s making, which kind of defeats the point. This is one of the reasons his review of The Wall is so terrible; he’s taking a film that is incomprehensible and surreal and parodying it without explaining the context, so anyone unfamiliar with the movie will be lost.

And even if you are familiar, a lot of the parody can come off as mean-spirited or even filled with blatant lies. Doug has a tendency to overexaggerate and be hyperbolic when he’s in-character, so if he finds a serious flaw in the movie he’ll blow it up in his parody. His reviews of the It films really showcase this, as he sort of nitpicks things that really aren’t as big a deal as he makes them out to be, which has the unfortunate side effect of making his legitimate criticisms look a bit weaker. In fact, a lot of the time Doug comes off as genuinely hypocritical, mocking tropes and tools he himself frequently utilizes in his own reviews. It’s so weird, because despite all this as well as the cheap special effects and production values that Doug is clearly putting a lot of effort into acting out all these wacky parodies, but he just can’t act and criticize at the same time. At the very least, his clipless reviews lend themselves well to unintentionally hilarious, so bad it’s good territory.

I think a lot of why the clipless reviews and skits don’t work is because of Doug’s lingering resentment over the failure of Demo Reel, which was him trying to branch out after he retired the Critic. Of course had to fall back on the Critic; Demo Reel was not very popular, and people just wanted more of what Made Doug famous. I do like that he did try stuff to spice his show up to make it enjoyable for him again, but it’s still hard not to get the sense that Doug is still bitterly lashing out with his skits at the people who wouldn’t accept him branching out into attempts at legitimate acting. As such, they just feel like empty, over the top garbage that Doug is pushing out because he really wants to act, but he feels like he can’t because what people want is more Critic.

I guess in general it doesn’t help that Doug is just not a great actor. Just look at his performances in the anniversary movies, which horribly clash with the whiny manchild the Critic is portrayed as in the main show, orr even during some of the commercial skits he does, where he tends to overact or just get too childish and hammy. It’s so obvious to me that Doug really wants to be a legitimate actor but he just doesn’t seem to have the aptitude for it. He’s a lot better at comedy and criticism than he is at acting. Of course, that’s not to say he’s incapable of doing anything good; his review of that 3D Nutcracker movie, and in fact a lot of his more modern Christmas-related reviews, have some genuinely touching and heartfelt moments, and when Doug is staying true to the goofy, idiotic character of the Critic he can be really fun.

The Nostalgia Critic is not really a show I think I can recommend to most people. Hell, sometimes I feel like I only watch it because of, ahem, nostalgia. I definitely don’t think the show is void of good content, but when Doug drops something like The Wall, it makes me wonder… Still, I like to stick around, because when Doug hits it, he hits it out of the park. The problem is when he fails, he tends to fail in the most epic manner possible. He’s like that one bat in EarthBound which is super powerful but misses a lot, but when it hits, your opponent is pretty sure to get knocked out. I think a lot of Doug’s failings are carried by his supporting cast, and the flaws in his writing are only easy to swallow because of the genuine insights he offers. There’s just a lot to take into consideration when it comes to the Critic, it’s really hard to say if he’s good or bad. He just… is.

I definitely think some of what Doug does is bad and cringeworthy (I really can’t defend those sketches in the Deadpool 2 review or those awful Kermit puppets), but I think beneath the cringiness, beneath the overdone acting, and beneath the flaws, there are some good insights to be found about films and why they do and don’t work. I of course don’t agree with everything Doug says, but there is still genuine thought and effort. I don’t really know if I can say he’s worth going out of your way to watch, but popping in now and then to check out what Doug has to say isn’t a bad thing. I kind of wish he would go back to doing those video essays again, because I think that was some of his best work, or maybe stick to only reviewing stuff that he has some sort of genuine connection with. When he is really passionate about something, it really shows, because he puts care and effort into the analysis and is able to tell some genuinely good jokes in between snarking at the film. When he just doesn’t care… you get The Wall review. Yeah, that’s pretty much my go-to for awful Doug reviews, becauseit is emblematic of every single problem that has come to plague his worst efforts: lack of care, bad writing, crappy production values, overdone and overacted skits, manipulative editing, and zero insight into the film.

Still, as cringeworthy as he can get these days… I’ll take this version of Doug over the Bat Credit Card/Chuck Norris/Burger King “elephant”/forced meme version of Doug from his early days.

I’m Michael Ford. I remember the Nostalgia Critic so you don’t have to.

[chippedteakettle]

GOT rant

I think the most wildly frustrating thing about this ENTIRE game of thrones debacle is that I can’t even remember the last time I felt this thoroughly invalidated about the way I feel.

I am a writer and I love stories, but most of all I love CHARACTERS. I have a passion for editing stories and smoothing things out to make character arcs feel believable and like the dialogue and choices ring true and feel as natural them as possible. And as such, I feel like I have a good eye and solid intuition about when things feel a bit off the rails, but every single time I have spoken up about the dissonance within season 8, I have been hushed.

I have been told that I can’t say the show is making incorrect or “wrong” choices because it’s not my creation- that I therefore am being unreasonable in my own right if I critique the writing or say it seems lazy or poorly fleshed out or straight up bizarre. That I am a hater for using my ability to employ critical thinking.I have been tossed the age old insult that I am both too invested and also somehow clearly missing things. I have been told that others are “even more on dany’s side than me” or that they “love her just as much as me, but this was the only obvious outcome and it’s clear through the entire series.” Wanting something that simply made sense means I am being an ignorant thrones fan who just wants a “happy ending.” “BS. If everyone including dany dies in the end for a justifiable, believable reason and its how the entire show ends, I wouldn’t enjoy it but I could understand it and that’s truly all I’m asking for. I am so sick of being shushed and silenced....

And it’s ALL by my peers who are MALE fans of the show. Every woman I know who loves this franchise LOVES the dimension of dany and feels robbed. But every man I’ve spoken to personally in my small corner of the world is perfectly content with the crazy ex girlfriend logic being implemented in this show and I find it both invalidating and absolutely bonkers. To have my sound logic rebutted with flat, non dimensional absolutes that dany is just an angry emotional woman who’s lost everything and this was unavoidable because of her Targaryen blood is absolutely staggering. I have never been so heartbroken- not only for her, but for myself and the women I love that this is readily acceptable. Like what the actual heck?

And I am sick and tired of being told over and over and over again that this seasons ONLY issue was being rushed. I am completely over some of the smartest people I know repeating the rationale they were spoonfed by D&D as if they are valid factors behind the character’s choices and motivations. I am BEYOND baffled by the amount of smart, intellectual men that I have seen who fully accept this atrocity of a season at face value and BELIEVE that every choice Danaerys made in the last two episodes was fully validated, justified and foreshadowed and made apparent in a clear, obvious way throughout the entire series. That is garbage.

What was FORESHADOWED was the battle against the dead. What was FORESHADOWED was the power of the three eyed raven. What was FORESHADOWED was the prince who was promised and the intervention of the lord of light. What was FORESHADOWED was Jon’s Targaryen lineage and ultimate legitimacy and how it would eventually affect him.

And all of these legitimately foreshadowed things were all chucked out with the rubbish to pick up these random threads that they tried to weave into something that ultimately fell apart.... now I will concede that Dany was made increasingly cold and absolute in both her decision making and emotions approaching season 8. Dany is depicted as ruthless when exacting justice with the potential to go too far. That is very valid. There are hints of her potentially going too far and it having dire ramifications and potentially little remorse. I did not like this choice but it IS plausible. But what she does to Kings landing and the scale in which she does it has nothing to do with vengeance , retribution or justice- It’s just illogical. And that’s why it doesn’t fit....

a monarch who intends to protect the downtrodden suddenly becoming an intentional blind mass murderer of innocents who have already surrendered to her because her council betrays her and she decides to rule a dead city by fear MAKES NO SENSE! call it foreshadowing all you want but it’s an inconsistent plot point within a well established character.

A character having the potential for a poor decision based on their flaws is NOT the same thing as telling us it was the unavoidable conclusion to her tale. You cannot make a human character without giving them flaws. The existence of those flaws is not proof that the flaws will inevitably undo them. It only shows that there is a chance for something to happens.... not a direct indicator. The characters code of ethics, core beliefs, and level of self awareness still dictate how much power their shortcomings will have over them and how much they will indulge in their weakness. And with danaerys, despite her temper and despite her “divine right of kings” mentality that the iron throne should belong to a a Targaryen, there is SO MUCH MORE EVIDENCE to the validity of her good nature overruling her darker inclinations. At this point, she has been failed by her advisors, but she still wishes to make Westeros a better safer place, take back her birthright, avenge her fallen children and friends and be a better Targaryen than those before her. So it makes no sense for her to hurt civilians....Because Danaerys above all, wants to be a good ruler. She wants to be ruler who inspires love and deserves it. This is clear when she told Jon point blank in season 7 that she hopes she deserves the gift of both his faith in her and the faith of the north backing her. She makes this incredibly genuine confession even in the wake of handling the heart crushing loss of her first dragon and child. This is something that would typically consume her with grief, but she is instead concerned with the world at large and hoping she is worthy of the trust bestowed upon her.

This is not the sentiment of a cruel unreasonable tyrant. It is the true heart of Danaerys Targaryen. It is an indicator of humility, objectivity and positive potential. It is an indicator of the fact that she DOES deserve love and loyalty. That caring about whether or not she deserves the sacrifices others make for her will drive her to make wise, good choices that benefit those who support her and ultimately benefit the world at large because she considers the ramifications of her actions and how they affect the people while none of the other rulers of Westeros have.

The complete abandonment of her prior sense of justice and self awareness in her dialogue in the throne room in episode 6 is inconsistent with a ruler who never wanted to be her father. Her logic is tyrannical then and *out of character*- then she dips back into being madly in love with Jon : not because she is crazy but because this monologue is incohesive and needs revision!

As a woman who has been sweet and soft her entire life, I am so done with being trampled on by boys and their incoherent rhetoric. I was abused my entire life and sexually taken advantage of by a man I called my husband at the time. I am not as sweet and delicate as I used to be prior to that. I’ve had seasons where I lost absolutely everything and it devastated me. And at my core I am the same girl, but I have more grit now. I stand up for myself and I have more strength to assert myself and stand up for those around me. Not because of my abuse (Sansa), but in spite of it. I get walked over less and am honest and driven while still being idealistic...But none of that makes me ”MAD”. Those are not symptoms of insanity or depravity. Nor are they evidence that should I systematically lose everything all over again that I would commit mass murder. No, Madness is not what danaerys suffers from. Danaerys suffered from being written in a short sighted, poorly plotted way that was inconsistent with her heart and narrative.

Danaerys was being tipped in a direction that certainly contained much more chilling absoluteness, but that DOES NOT justify ANYTHING. If that is the rationale alone, then Sansa is the same character! Other characters, including female characters in this show, have done heinous things but there is NO other character who was labeled as entirely beyond salvation after a *single* choice. And that is another nail in the coffin of this backwards logic!!

Tyrion betrayed her and undermined and redirected her so many times but still lived to tell jon to kill her BECAUSE SHE WAS LOYAL ENOUGH TO HIM TO LET HIM LIVE EVEN AFTER TELLING HIM HIS NEXT BETRAYAL WOULD BE HIS LAST! if dany is truly “mad,” then there should be nothing at all holding her back from slaughtering him where he stands on the stone steps of kings landing when he insults and disrespects her in front of her entire army-but she doesn’t! She civiliy has him removed and chained and allows him visitors!!!! Yeah, what a completely irrational despot.

And even if she DID kill him, it would be because it was EARNED! He committed treason more than once and prioritized her enemies over her despite being HER hand. This was the FIRST Thing she does that is out of whack and they suddenly think she’s going to murder Jon snow because of a fear of his legitimacy? She’s never so much as raised her voice at him! So why in God’s name would she kills him?

She’s begged him, she’s shown him her desperation and vulnerability and fear and desire to connect with him, and shown him in every way she can that SHE is still on HIS side but after a single (albeit brutal) action, she is only bad and purely unsalvagable? What? Even Theon Greyjoy got a better redemption arc than that and he literally burned two little boys to death!

Can we also address the fact that Dany knew of John’s bloodline for nearly the ENTIRE season and does not breathe a word of it to anyone, even when her back is against the wall at dragonstone and everyone she trusts has failed her. It has not even occurred to her to betray him because regardless of what anyone else may say or think, danaerys is LOYAL, almost to a fault. She never treats John any differently outside of being shocked the moment it’s revealed and still continues to love and seek him out, desiring closeness with him as he pushes her out, because she still wishes to be with him regardless. Because she is not petty or terrified that he will steal people’s love from her. Even if she realizes she is out of place in the north, it never occurs to her to betray his confidence.

While goddang Sansa can’t even keep her petty sharp tongued mouth shut for a whole thirty minutes before she rats out his secret for her own short sighted benefit because she’s what?jealous of danaerys and thinks she’s smarter than John?

But sansa is openly praised in the aftermath of this series as our queen in the north !? For what? For being a snake? For ruining John’s life and getting the brother she wished to hold close exiled beyond the wall and suddenly being unable to form a single word to defend him in that council when she knows good and well that she started this and it’s her fault but she’s articulate enough not one breath later to ask for the north’s independence???? For seceding from Westeros when her own brother is king just so the whole world knows for sure just how racist and xenophobic the north is- not by tradition but by choice? For being an unoriginal, unclever mean girl who hates danaerys because she’s different and is jealous that she’s a queen and then Sansa gets her way and ruins her in the least strategic, most sloppy, pettiness fueled way ever? But Sansa is considered a beloved character by most men in the end while Dany is fed to the absolute wolves???? What?!

Danaerys has never lied or betrayed her word. She has always had a reason for every action she did. And in the world of game of thrones, she is not surrounded by innocent lambs. Tyrion is a murderer who’s gone free more than once. Jon broke his vows to the nights watch. Varys has hatched more murderous plots than can be counted- including plots aimed at Dany’s own life. Sansa was stone faced as she watched Ramsay die just as dany was at the death of Viserys. Arya has murders countless people- even to the depravity of feeding someone their own children in a pie. Tywin Lannister was calculating, cruel, vicious and treacherous and was a part of countless battles, rebellions and murders- including the red wedding. JAMIE LANNISTER PUSHED A SMALL CHILD OUT A GODDANG WINDOW AND CRIPPLED HIM FOR LIFE just so he could go back to rutting into his own sister in peace. Excuse me? what?? But none of these characters were killed after their FIRST offense. None of them had their internal motivations chocked up to a lazy shoulder shrug of “eh, grief, man. Never know what a woman will do. B*tches be crazy man. Guess I should’ve seen it coming. Signs were probably there all along-she did kill all those evil men tho.” Nor were ANY- not a single one of them- labeled “mad.”

“Mad” is someone like Craster who was beyond all morality and consistently showed a horrific lack of care for human life. “Mad” is someone like Ramsay Bolton who caused dismemberment, torture and rape for FUN. Danaerys Targaryen is not even close to being in this eschalon for a single choice. “Madness” in this particular universe is based on a series of repetitive, consistent patterns that continually choose the inhumane option because of no justifiable reason other than “because they want to”, and that’s just not what we’re working with here.

Dany has a temper. Dany can threaten fire and blood all she wants, but at the end of the day, she doesn’t blindly swing her axe. She is strategic and intentional. And above all else, she does not want to be queen of the ashes- she does not wish to be the next Targaryen to perpetuate crimes of cruelty. She’s already lived with an abusive brother and been haunted by the stories of her seemingly unhinged, possibly schizophrenic father. She shapes each choice she makes to help her become a ruler who only encites fear in the heart of those who wish to do evil, not in the common man. She wishes to liberate and free those who have been oppressed like her- like she is still being crushed, misused and mistreated by the people around her in season 8, episode 5.

So for her to suddenly snap and just take the choice of life away from thousands of innocent people and children in an instant to prove that what- she can if she wants to? MAKES NO SENSE. She wouldn’t harm innocents ESPECIALLY WHEN IT IS AVOIDABLE AND SERVES NO PURPOSE!!! how does she risk everything she’s worked for to save all of humanity only to decimate the entire city she wishes to rule from in the span of 2 episodes??? Because what? she’s pouty that John won’t kiss her back? THAT IS NONSENSE. And it doesn’t even touch on the fact that CERSEI IS STILL IN THE CASTLE ! So if rage and grief are the “motivators” then why in the heck would she burn down the civilians of the city she wishes to rule and the leave the red keep virtually untouched while woman responsible for murdering missandei is still inside if vengeance is her game at this point? TELL ME HOW THAT MAKES SENSE. Oh you can’t? You know why? Because it doesn’t!

Either you make her full tilt crazy or let her be Dany, but don’t you dare mix the two and tell me it made a lick of sense. Or tell me that I’m being unreasonable just because I’m a girl who related to dany’s original arc. That’s nonsense. If this is a case of hereditary mental instability then where the heck are the signs?? Because even her fathers descent into madness was GRADUAL. He didn’t just wake up one day and light half the city on fire because he felt consumed by a certain mood- even psychotic breaks don’t work that way. If we’re looking at facts like they keep asking me to, targaryen madness was a long, grueling, arduous descent into chaos that broke Jamie Lannisters heart to watch.

So don’t you dare turn around and suddenly make Tyrion instigate her death just so you can a shitty parallel of both Targaryen monarchs being taken out by Lannisters they trusted or try to tell me that Dany being stabbed in a way she wasn’t suspecting by someone she loved is some kind of Targaryen poetic justice allusion to her father being run through the back when his chaos had reached its apex. Don’t you dare make me look her in the eye while her loving gaze collapses into confusion, hurt and disbelief as John plunges that stupid dishonorable knife in her. That was wrong. Just plain wrong. And none of us should have had to see it.

The “turn” of danaerys Targaryen was unfounded, unwarranted and sloppily executed, and I am tired of being spoken down to like I’m a dumb little girl for believing in this character and despising where they took her and how she got there.

Mic drop

[yutaya]

Discord was talking about how Colleen still has a grudge against Ward. I started considering how they could potentially bond.... it’s a conundrum.

The problem, of course, is that Colleen remembers very well the day that Ward Actual Meachum, one of the all time youngest Fortune 500 CEOs, one of the most successful executives in New York, one of Profile Magazine’s “Hot 50″ Entrepreneurs, CEO of International Corporation Rand Enterprises Ward Meachum showed up at her struggling dojo and tried to bribe her into lying to the legal system that the homeless guy with outdated ideas about challenging dojos but who seemed otherwise earnestly harmless had threatened her, was dangerous, unstable, and possibly armed (there had definitely been a mention of guns to heads.) The homeless guy who had just called her for help, because he had already been committed and was thus safely out of everyone’s way already, who’d said that he’d been drugged and taken against his will and attacked in the street because one of the richest families in New York had it out for him, who had called a woman that he’d met twice because she had been nice enough to give him some slippers before she sent him packing - he’d called her and said that she was the only person who could help him. Ward had responded to her initial denial that Danny had been at all threatening by suggesting a bribe for lying about it anyway, had cut her off and ignored her second denial, and, after he’d successfully set all her alarm bells about men who don’t take “no” for an answer ringing, came back the next day with prepared papers and a check for $50,000.

When Colleen saw Joy Meachum’s tears and shock at Danny’s mysterious m&ms package she’d thought it possible that the Meachums were underhanded and unethical but may have at least actually believed that Danny was a legitimately crazy impostor - Colleen thought that for about half a day, and then she had to fight off Rand Security home invaders in her pajamas.

The Meachum siblings went from accusing Danny of stalking them (and, as she’d discovered later, actively trying to have him killed) to admitting he was their childhood friend and helping him fight the Hand and their corrupt murderous father. Ward apparently decided he could be the brother Danny wanted so badly after all and the two of them spent the year after Midland Circle just sort of pretending that everything else had never happened. And Colleen, who loves Danny and knows how much he values having a family, tries to be cordial.

But she’s never really stopped thinking that Ward Meachum is a piece of shit.

-

Ward, for his part, is hyper-aware of the fact that Colleen hates his guts, can’t blame her for it and in fact approves of her reasons (his brother’s significant other had better take extreme offense to anyone who jeopardizes him,) and is a little bit scared of her.

If Danny ever leaves him alone in the apartment with her for some reason Ward probably just stays out of Colleen’s way and they politely ignore each other until Danny gets back.

-

So, how can Colleen and Ward bond?

1. Danny pulls the typical sitcom “I want the most important people in my life to get along” move and wheedles an agreement to dinner out of them where they continue not to get along until somehow bonding over how they both love Danny or potentially over making fun of Danny (with love).

1: Flaw - They already know they both love Danny, that’s the only reason they have the level of acquaintanceship they do now.

2. Ward texts Colleen at some point during the Asia trip because he can not take this anymore, he has to vent about Danny to SOMEBODY, and it turns into a texting relationship that turns into an actual friendship centered around commiseration re: Danny and the unbelievably stupid things he does and his ridiculous accidental flirting ways - previously discussed with hilarity on the discord but when taken seriously:

2: Flaw - Ward would probably not text Colleen about this; he knows she hates him.

3. Ward sends a message to Colleen to tell her when they’re scheduled to land in New York coming home from Asia because he knows it would make Danny happy to have his friends welcoming him back.

3: Flaw - Although Ward would definitely do this, it wouldn’t really lead to any bonding between Ward and Colleen. It falls in line with the Danny-centric accord they have now.

4. The twelve-foot-mountain-troll method: Ward and Colleen wind up in some perilous situation where they have to work together, including active communication, to survive/save Danny/help Danny/save or help other people.

AND

5. The adventures with Zuko method: Ward and Colleen embark on some mission together, working together (including active communication) to solve the problem/find some information that will help/save Danny or other people.

4&5: Convoluted - requires circumstances - Why are the two of them specifically together? Colleen needed Ward’s resources for something like in S2? Why would Ward insist on coming along? If Ward needed Colleen’s help on something it would be more likely to be related to her physical abilities or street knowledge of a dangerous situation in which case she would be more likely to have to go/insist on joining, but what thing like that would he need Colleen’s help for? It would call for even further circumstances, like Danny is unavailable and the matter is time sensitive, or Danny is out of commission. It could not be about Danny’s safety without Danny being out of commission because if Ward tried to go behind Danny’s back even if his intention was to protect him Colleen’s opinion of him would only worsen and she would definitely tell Danny/insist he tell Danny. It seems a huge stretch to have the two of them together by coincidence, like if they both happen to be at the bank when it gets taken over by robbers.

Scenario - Maybe Colleen could be in the Rand building for some reason when it’s attacked? System override and lockdown or something. Attackers would of course go for the CEO and potentially the other executive level employees to try to make Ward do something (HA good luck with that they have no idea how stubborn he is), Colleen and her vigilante soul probably defies being a lobby level hostage by climbing into a vent in the bathroom or something and making her way to the top level to help. This would be a good opportunity for nonverbal communication between Ward and Colleen, demonstration of trust in each other to take care of their part in whatever/get things done, plus throwback to the fight at Rand from S1. Actually someone please write this.

4&5: Pro - If it’s a situation involving helping other people especially, but just the kind of conversation x situation prompts could work too, scenarios 4 and 5 would be an opportunity for some of Colleen’s views on Ward to change - his priorities and his ethics could be revealed more clearly to her and cast him in a more favorable light.

6. Just.... prolonged exposure? As Ward keeps being there at family game night and family dinner and Misty being chill about him (‘Why, Misty?’ Colleen asks, looking to the sky: ‘Why?’) and him being an admittedly cute parent and Danny babysitting his kid with Colleen’s inevitable help and continuing to be a reliable ally for all their major Iron Fist snags Colleen slowly starts to think of him less harshly, they get more used to each other and slowly start to consider the other as someone they could rely on to do something if they needed it, etc. Maybe they’d even grow to like each other, eventually.

6: Con - Would take a long ass time, not nearly as fun as the other options.

-

Other ideas welcome. Gang?

[howtofightwrite]

Do you have any advice on subtly guiding readers to villainize a character so that they dismiss the character's legitimate concerns over another person's trustworthiness? I am hoping the perceived personalities will help, but I don't want to rely on them alone.

Well, you hit on the answer: Make the concerns legitimate.Not just the concerns you want to discredit, but also the reasons your othercharacters have to discount their observations.

When you’re writing it can be very easy to get tunnel visionand view the world through the lens of your protagonist. Your audience willgleefully follow that cue in turn. It’s part of why there are a lot of novelswith the protagonist acting in egregious ways, but fans will (and do) disregardit, because the protagonist thinks that behavior’s fine.

This is how characters like Harry Potter function. Thecharacter operates from a limited perspective of the world, makes snap judgmentsbased on their perspective, and as a result, devalues legitimate advice andinsights from people who know what they’re talking about. I’ll stress, there’s nothing wrong with a character havingthis kind of an approach, so long as the author understands that this is a flaw.

There is nothingwrong with having a character say, “yeah, but that’s just Steve, and we allknow what an idiot he is.” So long as you remember, as the author, that Stevemay have a point, and licking that light socket was probably not a great idea.

So, let’s step back for a second and start over: As theauthor, you control the game board. That’s your job. You set up the characters,the arena they operate in, and direct them. You know that the sky is going tofall in six minutes, and that poking the toad over there is a spectacularly badidea. But, your characters don’t.

In a story told from the position of one character, you’representing the narrative from a limited perspective. You need to understand theentire situation, but your character doesn’t, and shouldn’t. They see and reactto the information they have access to.

Now, the hard part, staying within this weird littlemetaphor, every other character inyour story is another piece on the board. Looking at the information they have,and acting accordingly. Everyone has their own goals, and perspective. Justlike your character, their perspective is limited. They may have moreinformation. They may have less. What they know shapes their opinions andperspectives.

AND. THEY. REMEMBER.

The simple answer is to go back and ask how does yourprotagonist feel about the character. If they like them, and have had positiveexperiences in the past, they’re more likely to accept that character’sviewpoint. If that character has betrayed them in the past, or worked againstthem, then they’ll discount the value of their advice.

Past actions are incredibly important factors if you’redealing with characters who’ve changed loyalties. It’s entirely plausible yourprotagonist would hold a grudge against a former foe, who’s switched sides andis working with them now. Conversely, if the protagonist has had a change ofheart, then they’re more likely to face distrust and opposition among their newallies.

Okay, so, maybe someone does know that the sky is going tofall if you poke that toad. Maybe they didn’t make that information clearbecause, “NO! AREYOUOUTOFYOURGODDAMNMIND!?DON’TDOTHAT; THEFUCKINGSKYWILLFALL!” Maybe they’vecried wolf before. Maybe your protagonist thinks poking the toad is a key to immortalityand Steve just wants that for himself.

You’re correct, personality does matter. It affects prejudices,and how we weight information. Some of this is subconscious, but it works. Considerwhich you find more credible, some Rasputin looking homeless dude ravingabout the end of the world, or a composed academic? Personality andpresentations matter, particularly during first impressions. Even if theRasputin looking fellow comes back, shaved, with the crazy toned down, they’llstill be weighed against their previous iteration, by characters who originallymet them in that state.

Confirmation bias is another relevant factor. This is thedrive to actively seek out information that supports your understanding of theworld while actively discounting information that contradicts it. If yourprotagonist really wants to believe that toad will give them immortality, theymay very well ignore the advice of people they respect, and normally agreewith, when they’re told it’s really an amphibious button to initiate the endtimes.

The really important thing to walk away with is the ideathat you don’t need to vilify other characters’ positions. If your characterhas a legitimate reason not to follow it, then that’s all you need. Trust youraudience make their own decisions on who they should be listening to.

-Starke

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[entireconfection]

Can We Turn It Around?

Hard to believe it’s been four years, isn’t it?

           As I sit down to write this, 5 weeks out from the 2020 election, it’s hard to know where to start. For almost four years now, we’ve been living in an altered (and very shitty) state of reality. Donald Trump’s America. A never-ending dumpster fire. And, to be frank, one of the worst chapters in our country’s history. On top of that, we’ve just crossed the half-year mark of a global pandemic, an ongoing crisis by turns devastating and surreal, one that seems sadly befitting of our dystopian, is-this-really-happening times.

           After 4 agonizing years of hate and stupidity ruling the roost, of nonstop assaults on science and decency and civility, of the obliteration of democratic norms, destruction of the checks and balances that we naively assumed would always be there for us, we’ve almost arrived at another election. And with it, the possibility that we can start to turn this around. That we can rise up and say “NO. We DON’T want a dictatorship. We WON’T go along with this. We will FIGHT for love and decency and our democracy.”

           Personally, I am proceeding under the assumption that Trump will be reelected. I have to do so for my own wellbeing. I don’t want to get my hopes up. The bitter, blindsiding defeat of 2016 is still fresh in my mind. There are many ways that this election could turn into a shitshow. Not the least of which is we have a ruthless dictator as President who is doing everything he can to sabotage the vote. And he has a powerful ally in the Republican party, which has expertly suppressed the vote for decades and is doing so now with as much gusto as ever, determined to hold onto power at all costs. Throw in all of the logistical challenges and obstacles caused by COVID, along with all of the flaws of our antiquated, broken-by-design voting system (courtesy of the democracy-hating GOP), and no one really knows what the hell is going to happen on November 3.

           So I have to assume that Trump will win. Because, awful as that will be, life will go on if he wins. And I need to be able to carry on as well.

           Still, as accustomed as I’ve become to the insanity of the Trump era, it’s sometimes hard to grasp that it’s come to this. That we are perilously close to becoming an authoritarian country with a permanent conservative majority. That it pretty much all hangs on this election.

           It’s not just our country either. It’s our planet that’s on the line. Perhaps you’ve heard of climate change? You know, that little issue that Americans don’t give a shit about, but is an existential threat to human civilization? Well, it’s only getting worse. The Northern Hemisphere just had its hottest summer ever, 2 degrees above normal. You can expect a new record every year for your lifetime.

           Trump, as expected, has been a disaster for the climate – withdrawing from the Paris Accord, gutting environmental regulations left and right, and basically doing as much damage to the earth as possible. Given that experts say we have 10 years to make major cuts in emissions if we have any hope of avoiding irreversible and catastrophic climate disruption, it’s safe to say that a second Trump term would pretty much be game over for the climate, and for life as we know it. It’s the predictable outcome when you elect an idiot climate denier president of the most powerful country in the world.

           Then there’s the fate of democracy itself, which is in a perilous position around the world. Fascism masquerading as “right-wing parties” has been on the march across Europe for years. Trump has gleefully helped that effort, cozying up to ruthless dictators like Kim-Jong Il and giving his buddy Putin the green light to continue to ratfuck elections, sow chaos, and wage cyber warfare on any country he chooses.

Meanwhile, Trump has given the middle finger to our allies constantly since taking office. Again, completely to be expected from a jingoistic simpleton whose entire understanding of foreign policy boils down to “America First.” Remember his shit-eating smirk while refusing to shake Angela Merkel’s hand in the Oval Office? Trump exemplifies the right’s foaming-mouth hatred of Europe, foreigners, and diplomacy. Just one of their many flavors of bigotry, he and his base believe that the rest of the world basically consists of international elitists determined to destroy America. Not exactly a philosophy conducive to preventing trifling matters like, say, global pandemics or world wars.

The more I write, the more I remember when an absolute sleazebag our president is, and the more astonished I am that this man is our president. This is the guy who 60 million people voted for in 2016. This is the guy who is nothing less than a savior to millions and millions of white Americans. Donald fucking Trump? You would be hard-pressed to find a more loathsome person in all of America. And despite knowing full well how polarized and tribalized we have become, it’s still hard to fathom that so many Americans can look at this vile, morally bankrupt con man and see a great leader, a champion of their values, the greatest president of all time. It just doesn’t compute.

           And yes, many of his voters are well aware of his vices, and yes, white working-class voters have legitimate problems, and on and on. For four years, we’ve discussed and dissected these reasons for Trump’s victory. They are admitted and entered into the record. Now can we please get rid of this menace because he destroys our democracy, wiping out the great experiment that has endured for 244 years?

           Because that’s what’s really on the line on November 3. We’re all deciding if we want to go back to being a democracy – a flawed, messy, imperfect democracy to be sure, but still a democracy at heart – or a dictatorship.  That’s not hyperbole. That’s just the situation.

Trump, aided and abetted by the entire Republican apparatus and 40% of the population, has turned us into a dictatorship. He has put his cronies in positions of power. He has fired anyone who refuses to become his unquestioning flunky, smearing public servants who have spent decades working to help people – a concept completely alien to Trump. He has demonized the media (except for the propaganda outlets who run only pro-Trump news), relentlessly undermining one of the pillars of a liberal democracy, turning people against the very journalists who are trying to expose how Trump is screwing them over. He has conspired with our enemies to compromise our own elections. He came to power by colluding with Russia to his political opponent. He tear-gassed peaceful protestors in front of the White House and painted Black Lives Matter as radical terrorists and applauded right-wing vigilantes who pointed guns at BLM protestors. Hell, he gave them a plum speaking slot at the RNC. Because that’s who calls the shots in Donald Trump’s America – racists and white supremacists.

So, yeah…it’s a rubbish time. And as anyone who remembers the train wreck of Election Night 2016 can understand, I don’t want to get my hopes up. We’ve all been burned one too many times.

Still, it is nice – if only for a moment – to think about a President Biden.

A president who acts like a fucking adult, not a tantrum-throwing toddler or a schoolyard bully.

A president who condemns violence, not one who exploits and encourages it for political gain.

A president who speaks carefully and thoughtfully, knowing his words have real-life consequences. Not one who constantly spews venom and lies, not caring if people die as a result because they’re not his base so screw them.

A president who refuses to legitimize dangerous conspiracy theories. Not one who gleefully seizes on every twisted fairy-tale to emerge from alt-right trolls lurking on 4chan.

A president who accepts the simple fact that our world is interconnected and that diplomacy, respect, and civil discourse are our best tools for making life better for everyone. Not one who embraces the right’s phony-ass “patriotism” and thinks Americans – more specifically, his supporters – are the only people on Earth who matter.

A president who does his fucking job, not one who sits on his ass tweeting and watching Fox News to get his daily ass-kissing. When he’s not golfing or holding white supremacist rallies, that is.

Trump’s awfulness is simply unparalleled, probably in human history. It is an expansive mass so vast and blatant and unashamed that it’s almost a work of art, in a sick way. You could go on forever about the cringe, the iconic moments of incompetence, the garish displays of smirking idiocy and unabashed bigotry that have come to define our time. Sharpie-doctored hurricane maps, Kanye in the Oval Office, calling African countries “shitholes,” telling black and Latina Congresswomen to “go back where they came from,” toilet paper on the shoe, shoving a world leader on stage, soundproof phone booths at the EPA, white supremacists as “very fine people,” caravans, paper towels, upside-down Bibles, covfefe…it has just been a constant, dizzying tornado of hate and evil and stupid. It’s why I stopped watching the news. It’s too much. We weren’t wired to ingest this level of crazy and awful every day. Being a human being is hard enough as it is.

It’s hard to stomach the thought of one more day of this shit, let alone 4 years. Should Trump get reelected, it’s hard to see how anything good will survive. And should his victory come once again come via dirty tricks, be it foreign interference or voter suppression or both, it would appear to confirm that our system has been so hopelessly corrupted by the right that it’s impossible for a Democrat to win. It would suggest that it is now impossible to have a fair presidential election and we’re doomed to have permanent tyrannical rule by a racist, reactionary, science-hating, authoritarian minority. Where we go from there is anyone’s guess.

I hope we can turn it around. I hope there are enough decent people out there who are fed up with this asshole. I hope the myriad GOTV efforts we’ve seen in recent months will motivate people who sat out last time, and maybe some people who have never voted. I hope the collective determination of people who are against Trump is enough to overcome the GOP’s perennial cheating and voter-suppression campaigns. I hope, no matter the outcome, that the whole thing doesn’t devolve into an epic shitshow that makes Florida 2000 look like a calm and orderly affair.

So I have hope. Is it well-founded? Is it anything more than wishful thinking? Hard to say. But when all appears lost, that’s what we have. Hope.  

In closing, if you are dismayed by what America has become these past 4 years, if you want to save the democracy that so many people fought and died for throughout our history, please vote for Biden. Your kids, your grandkids, and the entire world will thank you.

[landofquartzandmelody]

ok i finished hiveswap act 1 lmao. i actually liked most of it a lot i think? and there’s a lot to talk about and there’s also a few things which were like.. Incredibly annoying. my overall impression was good tho! i’m going to dump my thoughts under a readmore though so no one accidentally gets spoiled

obvious warning for that !!

the setting is actually incredibly detailed and i occupied myself for a long time clicking on everything in the background? the art was really pretty and the actual gameplay itself was really smooth and not glitchy at all.

the video cutscenes didn’t play for me at all lmao. I had a few tabs of text-only websites open, and join.me, and that was it. i couldn’t easily lower the settings to make it run smoother either? which was really annoying, and i don’t see why the cutscenes were sooo much harder for my computer to get through than the actual gameplay.

the only other glitch i had was a framing glitch in jude’s treehouse i think

i liked most of the puzzles a lot and it all seemed very organic and fun. using items on other items was pretty cool, and i only got stuck like once or twice.

i really did not like the snake game mainly because i had to swap to using my keyboard for that and that alone lmao.

the monster fights were REALLY fun, i thought. they had a really classic homestuck feel.

it was kind of hard to walk up and down the stairs, actually. there wasn’t enough room to click where you needed to go and that was a bit irritating

i really really really loved the harleyclaire mansion!! everything about the first part of the game was REALLY good!!!

there’s so much to get into with jake and joey and jude and anna claire that it’s nuts tbh. but i really liked everything about that. imo it dealt with parental issues in a lot more depth than hs ever did, and surprisingly nuanced parental issues is definitely an hs thing. but joey’s problems with jake are a lot more fleshed out and realistic.

definitely one of the themes is that the adults in joey’s life have never been there for her. her mom isn’t there because she’s dead, roxy isn’t ‘there’ because she’s irresponsible and is already developing drinking problems, and jake isn’t there because he’s always been somewhere else. so there’s something interesting when xefros talks about parents there

i think i was expecting jake to be a decent father so i was definitely really sad when it became obvious that he was kind of.. not? and it’s evident that he’s really screwed joey up, but i think that it’s also very in line with how canon portrays jake. like his biggest flaw was being unwilling to put in the emotional work and commitment that his friends needed.

sometimes he was definitely scared of those, so i can easily conceive of jake taking the easy way out and heading out to trawl the pacific for a meteor baby.

the line about how ‘having a second thing which is sort of like the first thing but somewhere else is exactly the same as having the first thing’

it’s interesting that jade and joey both do the same thing by projecting on their dead guardians. jade’s thinking is a lot more magical than joey’s, but it really shines a light on how everything we assumed about grandpa harley was through the eyes of a girl who never really got to know him.

and like he died well before he could disappoint her, so.

it was REALLY really sad but i don’t think i actually have a problem with it.

part of the reason i don’t have a problem with it is bc it made joey claire’s characterization SO much more compelling

because she’s very angry at her father for doing the things he did, and is openly disparaging about him, and even chooses to use her mother’s last name instead of his? but she’s not angry or hard or bitter

i love my hard trauma girls but it’s really nice that joey just gets kinder and better in the face of a childhood full of neglect- without being pushed to forgive or minimize the damage that was done to her

the detail about joey absolutely refusing to use guns because she doesn’t want to be like her dad, and choosing to love animals and heal them was so good. and how that’s framed as an act of rebellion?

like the idea that kindness can be radical but that =/= forgiveness.

we didn’t see a lot of jude but i loved everything about him so much

like it was pretty subtle so i don’t know if y’all would consider it ‘canon’ but the bit where joey says that ‘when things got bad with my brother, our babysitter took him to see a doctor, and he was better for a while’ seems like it’s saying joey is being treated for a mental illness of some sort?

which seems completely in line with his character! he almost falls into the trap where it’s like ‘we all called this person crazy for seeing all these conspiracies but he was right all along’ but he doesn’t and that’s nice. it’s very subtle and pretty respectful imo. (also, fox mulder)

he and joey are the cutest siblings in the entire universe, and he was so sweet to her. he seems very earnest about wanting to protect her and caring about her.

the part where his birds left him made me SOOOO SAD. it was so sad. i felt so bad for him. I named dammek’s catdeer Frohike to pay my respects even though frohike was the worst gunman.

i’m really worried about him tho. i hope he’ll be okay without joey around

joey claire is such an obvious lesbian

honestly i know a lot of people were nervous because it seemed like it was setting her up to have a relationship with xefros but i absolutely don’t think that’s the case, just because she’s definitely gay.

every time she looked at a picture of a girl in the harleyclaire mansion she had one gay thought or another, and her entire room was plastered completely in images of pretty girls. not ONE guy.

there was also a lot of dialogue which implied she felt guilty or ashamed of how she felt when looking at girls, or like she wasn’t sure if she was allowed to, or if people would judge her for having pretty pictures of girls on her walls.

also her password being the name of a boy she has certainly never met or talked to, and who we never saw an image of (despite said guy being an actor? i think) or heard mentioned before

the scene where xefros mentions he is a boy who likes boys and joey is like ‘oh. huh’ seems to me like it’s very obviously from the pov of a lesbian who had absolutely no idea what a lesbian is, or that she is allowed to be one. 

i think joey is definitely going to realize she is gay at some point in the future acts

i didn’t expect to like or care about xefros as much as i did?

he was obnoxious at first but basically as soon as we figured out what was up with dammek and that xefros thought he’d been speaking to dammek he became 100% less annoying and i started liking him a lot lmao.

he and joey had a really sweet friendship, actually.

homestuck breezed over a lot of the more horrible things about troll civilization, but hiveswap did a very good job of making it patently obvious how horrible troll civilization is for xefros and other lowbloods, and i think it has a redeeming effect on the Other Stuff.

i like that they made it obvious what’s happening is horrible and needs to like, stop or whatever, and don’t like... condemn the revolutionaries.

his situation isn’t really played for laughs or mocked.

that being said a lot of the writing for dammek was really really annoying and dumb.

people like dammek definitely exist and i think hiveswap does a faaairly decent of not conflating dammek being a shithead with the rest of the movement? the joke about personal property was very very annoying lmao but the movement itself is portrayed as legitimate and necessary. it’s a dumb reactionary type of joke but it doesn’t ruin the game for me

i do think he’s going to Learn To Be A Better Person while he’s hanging out with jude. i don’t think he’s going to get a vriska type arc at all but i do think he’ll learn the error of his ways.

i wish that we’d gotten to see a bit more of his personal motivation for being so intense about revolution.

i ALSO wish they hadn’t used like actual symbols of movements in the bg that was really annoying and crass imo. and if they had to, i wish xefros had had an anarchist flag or whatever.

abuse / neglect are big themes in hs so i’m not really surprised at all that they came back? they definitely shouldn’t have advertised dammek and xefros as being cute moirails though because it’s kind of scummy to do a bait and switch like that.

i don’t think the game’s going to be hetero though. xefros and joey would be incredibly ugly and i doubt it’ll happen

i also think homestuck the original thing is actually pretty on the nose about class stuff, even if it does feel the need to like couch that in Fake Alien Racism? at the very least i’d be surprised if hiveswap tried to pull the You’re The Same As Your Oppressors thing

i’m still annoyed that there was so much promo art of xefros and dammek being cute together when the actual game condemned every interaction they had. i think that it would have been possible to say the same things as they wanted to while also not making dammek a crazy leftist stereotype and grounding him in reality like a real person.

to be fair, we are going to get a sequel game with him, so he’ll probably be fleshed out a LOT better then.

trizza is somehow so much more evil than expected? how evil she is feels a lot more real than like, the condesce, tbh. she feels like a real person

i’m SUPER curious about cridea now and i can’t wait to see what she’ll be like

[jodiwalker]

The Best Things Happening on Game of Thrones Right Now

If the current season of Game of Thrones is fan service, then consider me — a fan — serviced, and sign me up, baby. We've been through the hard stuff, we deserve this. This series has finally broken through the stratosphere of TV criticism and into the land of pure joy where Arya can be both a raging lil' sociopath and a beloved protagonist.

So this is neither a review nor a recap, a critique nor a thoughtful analysis influenced by my superior status as a "book-reader." Instead, it is the most advanced of all literary art forms: a list of I've been tickled by in the first two episodes of season 7. The best things happening on Game of Thrones right now definitively are:

Very Silly Reveals That Are Supposed to Change the Game (of Thrones) But Are Kind of Just Really Obvious Solutions

1. There's a Shit Ton of Dragon Glass at…Dragonstone

Of all the things I expected out of this season—reunions, rifts, Cersei dramatically guzzling wine, Arya masked-murderin', Dany sittin' on thrones, hopefully the glorious return of Gendry's biceps—I never anticipated quite this much focus on igneous rocks. Jon Stark's laser focus on digging up dragon glass is starting to sound like a Goop newsletter, and it's not that I wouldn't subscribe (imagine: the fur recs! the tips for sultry lashes! the straightforward syntax without any annoying exclamation points!), it's just all a little more plainly sated than I expected. Jon calls, like, eight Big Chamber Meetings to tell all the Northern elders, plus Lil' Lyanna Mormont that their number one priority is to find dragon glass because it's the only thing they can create weapons out of in mass to kill white walkers. Those meetings go a little something like this:

Jon: How are we gonna kill white walkers?!

Northerners: DRAGONGLASS!

Jon: And where are we gonna find it?!

Sam, from Oldtown: AT—AND YOU'RE REALLY NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS—DRAGONSTONE!

[Ed. note: I've edited out the regular interruptions from Sansa that give me extreme conflicting emotional anxiety, but we'll get to those later in the "So You're Co-Ruling with Your Half-Sister Who's Actually Your Cousin and She's Recently Developed a Mind of Her Own After Surviving Extreme Trauma" section.]

Sending Sam to Oldtown to train as a maester is like the coconut oil/Franks RedHot of Westeros: that shit works on everything. At the Citadel, Sam begins scooping soup, souping poop (in a scene I would have exchanged for an hour-long loop of gruesome murders), and most importantly, sneaking into the restricted section of the library like some sort of chubby lovechild between Voldemort and Harry Potter. He even gets shut down by Jim Broadbent (aka Archmaester Marwyn, absolutely killing the wise, gives-no-shits maester game) and sneaks in anyway. And what did Samwell find in the restricted section?

Well, Sam steals maybe five books and finds the exact answer he needs, plus one he didn't even know he should be looking for—more on that in a minute.

And you know what? That's kind of dumb and unrealistic, but Sam deserves this. He's had a tough life and his dad is a jerk that wanted to kill him and his brother is (well, used to be) the hot guy from Unreal, and everyone shits on him all the time even though he is legitimately the nicest person alive in their godforsaken, feces infested world — dude has earned finding the solution to saving mankind after exactly 10 minutes of cozy reading with his cute wildling life partner and their ageless baby.

So, Sam finds out (via a super lame picture that Jaime could have drawn with his strong hand) that there's a big ol' dragon glass mine at—you're not going to believe this—Dragonstone. All they've gotta do is dig it up. Well, and, y'know, get past Daenerys Targaryen, heir of Dragonstone who recently arrived on its sandy, glass-filled shores. And that other thing that Sam found?

2. The Cure for Greyscale is Just…Peeling Off the Greyscale

Well, no fucking shit, Sam.  I mean, listen, I know I was just singing the kid's praises, but it's pretty crazy to act like you just found the magical cure for Greyscale in your magical secret books when that cure is…peeling off the Greyscaled skin and then putting a bunch of medieval Neosporin on it. But whatever, it's really sweet that Sam wants to help Jorah Mormont so badly because of his affection for Lord Commander Mormont and is willing to flay him to save his life (and definitely give himself Greyscale with the way he's using those gloves). So go ahead, Sam, peel off that Greyscale in your secret Dr. Pimple sessions—your solution might be obvious, but at least it's not dumb, dumb, dumb…

3. The Dragon Feller That's Just…a Crossbow

So, John is concerned with defeating the white walkers because, y'know, strong moral fiber and a her survivor's guilt complex and all that. But Cersei is mainly concerned with defeating anyone who would try to take the Iron Throne from her that she didn't already blow up with magic fire. And that means she's got to look alive about the tiny blonde Targaryen heading her way who's bringing, along with her legitimate claim to the throne, her three big ass dragons that were, coincidentally, born from a magic fire.

It's going to take something big to defeat those dragons. Something magical. Something much more powerful than even wildfire. Something like…

A BIG ASS CROSSBOW, BABY! Yeah, that will be great for killing dragons — if the dragons are sitting still, 1,000 years old, and already dying peacefully of natural causes. It's okay, Qyburn. They can't all be skull-crushing Frankenzombies held together by Husky R' Us armor level ideas, buddy.

Arya and Her Whole Thing

I remember when How to Get Away With Murder premiered there were a bunch of think pieces that were all, Finally! A Female Anti-Hero for Us to Love Just Like All Those Dude Anti-Heroes We Loved on A&E and HBO! Of course, no one loved Viola Davis' anti-hero like they loved Walter White because people don’t like to love flawed women like they like to love flawed men (and the show's not as good, but Viola is). And so, when Arya gave the best revenge performance of all time at the top of the season 7 premiere, there were a bunch of (to be fair, legitimate) articles that were all Should We Really Be Rooting for Arya? Is Arya a Sociopath Now? Arya Sure Looked like She Wanted to Kill Ed Sheeran, an Innocent Soldier, Who We Will Tell You Later How WE'D Like to Kill, But for Different Totally Valid Reasons.

So let me just say, yes! Arya is a probably a semi-psychopathic now, and yes! We should be rooting for her. She is but a simple mercenary setting out to avenge the death of her loved ones using humble blood magic. Yes, she killed Walder Frey, and yes, she fed him to his sons, and yes she then skinned him and wore his face in order to poison all those sons who she had just fed a pie made out of their dad, but you know what she also did…spared the women who hadn’t done anything wrong except be born into that nasty family. And yes she maybe only spared them to have this bad ass parting line, delivered with just perfect level-headed menace by Maisy Williams: "When people ask you what happened here — tell them the North remembers. Tell them winter came for House Frey."

But she is Arya and I love her, and I support her in anything she does…unless she kills any of the characters I like, in which case I will have to write some think pieces.

Sibling Dramzzz: Stark Edition

And speaking of Starks you have to keep your eye on, Sansa and Jon are having kind of a hard time co-parenting the North, and that's probably because people just loooove putting Jon in charge, even though Sansa should kind of technically be in charge, the only problem is, that Sansa's so annoying. Now, Sansa has made large strides toward being less annoying. But for every two steps forward (occasionally telling Lord Baelish to go fuck himself, knowing about war, not being a moralizing idealist), she interrupts Jon six times in their council meetings and tells him how stupid he is.

And listen, I get it — I have siblings. No one knows you better, and no one knows they know you better. When someone acts like they understand you better than you understand yourself, and worse, they're probably right, it can be trying. When Sansa tells Jon that he's going to get his head chopped off like his virtuous father and brother before him, she's not necessarily, but she is annoying. In a made-up world with dragons and child-sacrifice and, like, constant incest that's often not very relatable, I find this Jon and Sansa stuff frustratingly relevant.

The complexity of familial bonds is a language that spans universes (I mean, I guess that's ignoring the thing I just said about near-constant incest), so when Sansa says just the right bratty thing — "Joffrey never let anyone question his decisions, do you think he was a good king?" — to set Jon off, or when Jon and Sansa get on the same page about something, then he immediately changes his mind and announces it at the dinner table, so she questions his decision in front of all their gossipy cousins…it's normal family stuff, just at much higher, head-chopping stakes.

My great fear is that the tentative but often sweet partnership these two eldest "children" of Ned Stark have formed will somehow be ruined by Littlefinger. So boyyyyyy was it gratifying when Jon choked his old ass out when he was all I wanted to fuck your step-mom and now I want to fuck your half-sister, just thought I'd tell you that right here in front of your dead dad's crypt. And mannnnn was it concerning when Sansa backed down from publicly challenging Jon about his decision to leave the North and sale to Dragonstone the moment she learned he was leaving her in charge of the North in his absence, then immediately looked to Littlefinger for…what? Approval? Guidance? Shared joy? None are great options.

Just get though this Jon and Sansa  — I promise you’ll be best friends when you’re adults!

Sibling Dramzzz: Greyjoy Edition

Yo, this family is Messed! Up! Theon jumped off a ship rather than risk saving his sister Yara from their super-pirate uncle who's now taking Yara, Ellaria, and the last remaining Sand Snake, Tyene as his gift to Cersei which will totally make her want to marry him so he can be king, I guess, and not just of his raggedy salt islands.

It will never not be distracting how much Euron looks like Pacey though. If Pacey had a run-in with an H&M clearance rack and the entire smoky eye section of Sephora.

Sibling Dramzzz: Lannister Edition

And speaking of Cersei's current romantic status: Jaime is giving her a looooot of side-eye because she's, y'know, terrible. But she is doing a really fun thing this season where she's constantly recapping how much she hates everyone while subconsciously remaining us how much everyone hates her in return. While roaming around her Etsy map of Westeros, Cersei tells Jaime: "Enemies to the east. Enemies to the south: Ellaria Sand and her brood of bitches. Enemies to the west: Olenna, the old cunt, another traitor. Enemies to the North: Ned Stark's bastard has been named King of the North, and that murdering whore Sansa stands beside him. Enemies everywhere, we're surrounded by traitors!"

Girl, anymore zingers and maybe a concluding paragraph, and they'll give you a byline at Vulture. It is my one true hope that Jaime will realize his sister is insane and kill her before she kills him or Tyrion.

Everything Lil' Lyanna Mormont Does

I don't care if it's Disney-Channel-level precocious, I don't care if they're just giving us more of what we want…actually, I do care. Give me more of what I want! And what I want is the Lil'est Lady of Bear Island repeatedly telling a bunch of giant grizzled dudes to STFU. "I don't plan on knitting by the fire while men fight for me," she says when it's proposed that girls should be trained to fight in the war to come. "I might be small and I might be a girl, but I am every bit as much a Northerner as you. And I don't need your permission to defend the North." Yes, my tiny queen! I don't know if they heard you in the back, but at this point in time, just about every major house in the realm is run by a woman And speaking of…

Jon and Dany Said Each Other's Names and Hopefully That Will All Be Fine

That's it, that's all I needed. Now they can either become best friends or fall in incestuous Targaryen love, there is no other option.

Images: HBO; BlondieTVJunkie/tumblr

[carnelianwings]

#3?

Send me asks about videogames!

3: Best game you’ve ever played?

Oh boy, that’s … that’s going to earn you a nice long answer, anon.  Because I have a lot of games I like.  And “best I’ve ever played” has a lot of different meanings to me - best for its genre, best for its gameplay, best for the story, etc.

I think overall favorite right now is definitely Tales of Zestiria.  Yes, it’s a flawed game (stupid battle camera will forever get all of my irritation, and yeah, Rose’s and Dezel’s backstory could have used some help/better writing).  But it’s been a very long time where I had so much fun just going around killing purifying monsters and doing all these crazy flashy things in the game, while spending so much time thinking/writing all these metas, and still have the inspiration for fic after fic after fic.  Like this is legitimately the first time a game has appealed to both my fanfic writing fangirl half and the number crunchy kill-stuff-as-flashily-as-possible gamer chick half.  Usually a game will appeal to the gamer chick half of me and not necessarily get me all fired up to write fics - for all that I loved and adored Tales of Vesperia and Tales of Symphonia, I never really wrote much fic for either game (just 2 little one shots for them).

And the characters!  I love that all 4 girls don’t have a set Love Interest.  Their goal in life isn’t to Get Married and Babies Ever After.  They have hopes, dreams, and a personality beyond their relationship with the nearest character with a Y chromosome - and not once does the narrative treat them like they’re lesser for it.  And I love that.  It’s so so so rare to see it in fiction that honestly, one of my personally cherished headcanons for Zestiria is none of the girls ever get married and they’re just best friends forever, and just focus on making their dream a reality.  And our boys!  They’re allowed to smile, and be hurt, and cry (oh god do they cry and make me cry with them).  They’re allowed to love and care for each other and feel.  At no point does anyone ever tell them to man up and be stoic and bottle it all up inside.  And really can I just reach into the screen and give Mikleo that hug he so desperately needs by the end of the game?

And I guess it goes without saying that SoreMiku is also my other favorite part of the game - but I’ve spent so so so many words on that at this point, haha.  And the confirmation from Berseria that literally made one of my favorite cut scenes even better is just the icing on the cake.

So I guess you could say Tales of Zestiria is very much the game I never dared to dream would get made, let alone for my favorite JRPG series, and that’s why it’s my favorite.

And because I feel like it, a few honorable mentions behind the cut:

City of Heroes: A, sadly, now dead superhero MMO where I was on a server that actively encouraged roleplaying

Supreme Commander (and its expansion, Forged Alliance): A Real Time Strategy game that didn’t focus so much on heavy micromanaging and had some awesome modded AIs and survival maps that made it super fun to do multiplayer coop play.  Also, lasers everywhere, every projectile is tracked (so yes you can micromanage that one unit to dodge enemy missiles), stuff explodes/falls out of the sky and that debris/death explosion will cause damage to enemy and allied units alike, and the experimental units just get more and more ridiculous.  Favorites include what boils down to a huge-ass microwave laser on legs, and an air carrier … that suspiciously looks like the Independence Day alien spacecraft, that is almost more useful falling out of the sky than actually dealing damage with its air-to-ground laser, which requires it to hover directly over the target its lasering.  Just like the alien aircraft it’s an homage to.

Sentinels of the Multiverse: Technically, its a multiplayer coop tabletop card game (for up to 5 players) with a superhero theme (practically every hero/villain deck is an Expy of some DC or Marvel hero) first, but it did get a Steam/iOS release.  I assume it probably got one for Android too, but since I’m a PC/iPhone kind of girl, I don’t usually pay attention to Android releases.  XD  If you’ve ever played the World of Warcraft card game, it’s similar to that - you have a deck for every hero, plus a separate deck for all the vilalins, plus a separate deck for the environment.  Each deck has its own internal mechanics that interact well with the others, and each hero (and there’s lots of them) manage to retain their own feel, like you’re playing a unique superhero, and none of them ever feel like Expies of each other.  And because of the sheer number of heroes and villain available, there’s a high replay value as changing around the heroes you bring will completely change a fight, even if you use the same villain and environment deck.  The Steam/iOS port manages to keep it fairly manageable, and I’ve spent many an afternoon playing it with friends.  Personal favorite characters to play as are Tachyon (lesbian Lady Flash, and a top-tier scientist to boot according to the flavor text in her cards!), and Absolute Zero (think Iron Man, but with an ice theme and a definite Clingy Suit problem).

[joshuazev]

On the state: part 2

In a continuation of yesterday’s segment, I will push forward with my review of the current state of things in various areas of life.

The state of music:  Technology has certainly changed the landscape of everything it has touched.  Music is no different.  Nowadays, it seems like everyone is making music and with the success of streaming subscription services like Spotify, Apple Music, and Tidal there is more access than ever before.  Access has transcended more than just the ability to listen to music, but the ability to make music too.  I don’t know if the term was coined in 2017, but titles such as “soundcloud rappers” started to get pushed to the forefront.  A “soundcloud rapper” is obviously more than just a name.  To me, it refers to the facility at which anyone can record music, upload it, and get millions of plays almost overnight.  Some would say this is great.  The more the merrier.  Competition is good.  I guess I have an old soul perspective on the matter.  Something out anyone and everyone putting out music doesn’t go over well with me.  It removes some of the sanctity that I associate with a real artist, who has to go through a struggle to put out a record.  This could be just my problem—a bitter one at that, but I don’t think I’m alone.  In addition, it seems like people’s real voices have gone to the dumpsters—and again, I’m speaking mainly of the rap, rap/singer genre.  Autotune and voice alteration is at a all time high.  I’m a purist when it comes to listening to a singer’s voice, however raw, unpracticed, or divine it might be.  I think the flaws of the newer generation (even as narrowed down to people in the past couple years) are very much exposed when they try to do live performances.  Their voices don’t hold up.  Now, all the hate, bitterness, and negative feeling aside from seeing everybody on stage and everyone on the internet getting millions of views…the presence of Spotify, Apple Music, and yes, Soundcloud, has provided access to a sickening amount of really really tremendous artists, too.  I suppose you would expect that, the good and the bad.  In literally every genre there are thousands upon thousands of new artists and a lot of them are really good.  And more exposure to international artists!  (Yes, on the whole, some are bad but lets focus on the good).  Lets say, for example, that you wanted to listen to people like Erykah Badu or some other neo soul artist.  A platform like Spotify will give you countless other artists that sound like her.  Now, again, that does lead to some issues.  While there might be a bunch of artists similar to her, that becomes the problem; an overabundance and over saturation of similar sounding artists, which, in turn, can take away from the original artist and the original sound.  I liken the new emergence of artists to the numbers game.  The “10s” are few and far between.  Currently, we are getting flooded with “6s” and “7s.”  The record stores of the world are all but extinct, which is truly a drag.  Strands bookstore’s equivalent from a record store standpoint is something like Amoeba.  I think this year or in the upcoming year the Amoeba in Los Angeles will be gone.  Seems sacrilegious that such a place can be gone, although I do think that a few remain in the Bay Area.  Music, music, music.  

I think a lot of people would say music is thriving.  The attitude in New York would definitely make me think so.  We are seeing more and more cities follow New York’s lead, especially with respect to the younger generations, because now up and coming artists are playing to sold out shows all over the country, and the really big ones are doing international tours.  Could the new access be the one to thank?  Festivals are experiencing the same popularity.  Does anyone know how “Desert Trip” (dubbed the Coachella for the older generation) did?  I wouldn’t be surprised if it was met with tremendous success.  When I was growing up people paid more attention to release dates for albums because you would go to the store to get them?  Now we can afford to be more lazy.  We can download it legally or illegally.  In all seriousness, I think 2017 was more of the same on the music front.  Some good.  Some bad.  Award shows still suck.  What could possibly be different in 2018?  To be honest, I really don’t know.  I have zero expectations for music anymore.  I don’t anticipate it or get excited in the way I used to.  That kind of makes me sound like an old head wishing we were all still back in the good old days, but fuck it.  Personally, I’ll try to go to more concerts in 2018.  Broaden my horizons.  I started a music of the world document that I want to build on because that might be the best thing about all the new access and exposure of these streaming services.  It’s affected the artists, too!  Take someone like Drake who, on each of his last few albums, has had a different international inspiration of sound.  That could be directly attributed to knowing about more music and I think several artists did the same.  Let’s see what you got for us 2018.

The state of books, articles, and literature:  Sadly, I would know more about this subject if I was reading more.  This year there were various stages of reading a lot and many months where I read nothing at all.  Articles are leaps and bounds the easiest thing to get your hands on in this day and age.  When I wake up in the morning, if my phone is right next to me, I’m going on the internet first thing (this is actually a habit I’m working to change).  I’m reading the newest, latest on what happened in the sporting world.  There are several journalists I follow or, at the very least, enjoy reading.  When I lived in Washington Heights I was reading a free subscription of the New Yorker.  In my eyes, that’s still high quality work.  Book wise, I might be naive in wanting there to be another Harry Potter on the horizon.  Luckily, we all still have Harry Potter.  Blogs are still thriving.  I don’t follow that many others, but there are blogs about literally everything.  I finished a book today “the Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck” and that basically spawned from the popularity the author received from doing a blog.  Kindles and iPads are still doing their part to eliminate physical books from being in our hands, but its easy to forget that that’s going on when you live in New York and you see the city known as Strands.  I’m coming from Seattle where my memory of pubic transportation is a Kindle in the hands of every other person, but in New York…you got books in hand.  Biographies.  Novels.  Non-fiction.  Anthologies.  Plays.  Those forms of literature are still alive and well.  Yet, 2017 was also a piggy back year with regards to books on tape.  Very trendy.  Podcasts (not exactly related to the topic), but also very popular.  In the way that kindles and iPads took away from books in Seattle, the forms of media available in earplug mode continued to surge.  Facebook also continues to be a contributing factor in sharing articles.  People live two places in this day and age.  They live at home and they live on Facebook, but if there is one thing that keeps Facebook solid it’s that you’re bound to see articles, op-eds, editorials, and publications that match your circle of friends.  The access is real.  Personally, I know I didn’t read enough in 2017.  Like just now, I had a sentence that I was going to write that centered around a concept, but in the seconds of thinking how I was going to frame the sentence on paper, I forgot the central word.  I’m telling you that that only happens when you go from reading to not reading or not reading enough, plain and simple.  

Reading remains one of the only activities that I believe slows down time, and for the better.  I have anxiety about reading because there will be times when I think, “what is happening right now in the world!?”  I’ve needed to confront this idea head on because I worry about time and especially time running out.  Reading, in damn near every situation, is peace.  Granted, sometimes what you’re reading isn’t very peaceful, but the action itself is.  I can’t tell you how many people I know that don’t read at all.  Some that don’t touch a book or some like me that take the step of getting the book or checking it out from the library and then let it gather dust.  The book takes on the role of a show piece.  I digress, but maybe not so much.  Bookstores are in the same boat as record stores.  Who buys CDs?  The same people that probably buy books.  And nowadays there are too many streaming services and devices that make it “easier” to do both of those things.  One day, in the era of Trump, maybe all of the servers will crash and burn and the Internet will be gone and so will all the information we thought we could get at the drop of a hat.  And maybe, just maybe, there will be this crazy exodus of people going to record stores and bookstores all across the world, trying to get their hands on the things they once valued so much before everything was so easy.  I digress again.  Is it just as easy for one to make music and have thousands of people listen as it is for someone to write a book or a novel or start a blog?  A soundcloud rapper and a blogger are damn near the same thing, but that brings back the question of purity and whether or not a “real artist” can be either of those two things (in the same way that someone who is YouTube famous or Instagram famous might not be considered in the same light as a movie star.  Just like the preceding years before, the definition of an author is being stretched and RE-defined.  I wouldn’t be surprised and, to be honest, I’d probably expect that line of what an author is to be stretched even further.  Maybe it’s because I didn’t read as much this year, but the pool of legitimate authors didn’t seem as big.  I still found there to be a lot of quality pieces being written.  Maybe next year, when I expose myself to as much literature as I do to music, I’ll find the same results as I did this year with artists.  Who knows.  With respect to the two above mediums it’s easy to get lost in space.

I’m tired.  Three more days.  And resolutions to come.  

[bigboobshaunt]

Have you ever made a top 10 list of vidya you like? I enjoy reading your insight into games and I think it would be interesting to see that list and your reasons for liking them.

What is your favorite… sibling? Body part??

OK like, technically I did already make one, on this very site a long time ago (technically I reviewed the 10 that made the cut, separately), but I’m not super crazy about my analysis skills then and many that were on that list just ended up changing with time - both because I played more games and because I just ended up realizing I liked different games better.

Given that I absolutely love running my horrible mouth for probably way too long, your ask made me want to do one again, which was already an idea somewhere on the back of my mind.

A couple of disclaimers before we actually get into it: 

No game is perfect. Games are made by human beings, who carry personal biases and intrinsic flaws. I love a ton of games and they are All flawed in different ways and amounts. If anyone tells you a piece of media is straight up perfect, you should run. I am not claiming any of the games on this list are perfect, and I am well aware of their issues. I have eyes and can read.

This is my list, the barometer for it is Me. If anyone reading this takes issue with picks (which is something I keep seeing happen and it still makes no sense) just simply don’t interact or make your own list. Not looking for arguments here.

These are not, of course, gonna be in-depth for all of the games, just what exactly makes me like them so much, which was what I was asked. There are only so many spoons an enby can have, after all.

I tried keeping it to one game per franchise (barring one arguable exception) because otherwise this would get much, much harder than it already was.

Additionally, I failed to round out 10 of them, only managing 9. I beat around the bush a LOT about what the 10th one was gonna be, but no matter what choice, I always felt like I was gonna betray myself in the end, so I have reserved a section for honorable mentions at the end. These are also not numerically ranked, because while I have a long-standing Favorite game of all time, which is the last one I’ll get to, the other ones occupy uncertain, ever-changing spots.

I’m currently sitting atop a good pile of games I’ve been meaning to check out for ages, and since 2 games I’ve played recently made this list, I think it’s prudent to also make a spot for games I plan on playing to completion soon.

Here you go, anon! (And anyone else who might be interested)

Stardew Valley:

This game is both the most recent release to be on this list and also the newest entry, since it literally hasn’t been a month since I’ve finished it, and that’s part of why I placed it first here.

Though saying I “finished it” is kind of a lie, and that in itself reveals the magic, even after the “soft ending” I just keep going back to it every day, because it’s a world that just puts me in such a relaxed state… I want to spend time in my farm with my bisexual husband every day and I’m already planning two other playthroughs even if my first one is already creeping up on 100 hours!

See also: I’m… not particularly into farming sims? I’ve tried getting into them before but I just found them a little inane and unfocused, if that makes sense, so if my love for a game can transcend even a genre itself, I’d say that’s a pretty well-executed game, generally speaking.

I just also find it super endearing that the entire game was made by one person. From the artwork, the writing and the soundtrack… it’s crystal clear that a LOT of love and genuine effort went into it, and that’s very heartwarming and gives me hope.

Speaking of love, it’s also the entry in this list that has the most queer representation in it, and that’s a huuuuge plus for me, as a nonbinary bisexual. It’s a pretty cute game, and it also still manages to juggle a lot of complex themes which are very personally relatable to me with surprising tact.

Pokémon Black and White:

This is going to date this post pretty hard, but I’m actually replaying this one riiiight now. It’s actually right next to me on the table. How quaint!

These have been my favorite main Pokémon games since their release, and it’s largely a case of me being awed by its story and characters when I didn’t expect to be. I also really appreciate the risk these ones took by excluding Pokémon of previous regions to post-game content, since it forces you to get to know the new ones (which are both plentiful and incredibly creative imho!!) as you make your team.

I really appreciate the moral themes explored in this game, and how they even toyed with core concepts that had been with the series from the word go, questioning the morality we were just supposed to accept from the onset of this franchise, to the point that I’ve seen many people feel guilty about opposing this game’s main antagonistic force, N (who’s one of my favorite characters in fiction, at that).

If we’re talking strictly about casts as collective, this one has my favorite, without a doubt, in terms of rivals, antagonists, gym leaders, and even other minor npcs. I liked how they managed to effectively tie in the gym leaders with the plot, which really should be done more often, and I feel the games suffer when that doesn’t happen (hey X and Y! what’s up). The character development a lot of characters get in the sequel (which while still good, I’m not as fond of) is also very good!

Am I also still salty about folks passing this one up and then posting misinformed, under-researched opinions about it, or even deriding the Pokémon designs? Maybe! …Yeah, okay, I am. I have vivid memories of forum posts at the time, okay?

Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time/Darkness/Sky:

So this was the exception I was hinting at before, in the disclaimers. It’s a spin-off that’s quite different than the main series in gameplay, so I’m counting it. I really couldn’t live with myself if I made a list of my fave games and didn’t put this one in it, seeing as it’s one of the most surefire ways to make me cry there ever were.

Much like the previous entry, this one is yet another case of the writing taking me entirely by surprise. It would have been very easy to make this spin-off a quick cash-in just using the Pokémon name, but hot damn does this one’s narrative deliver in good writing.

The previous Mystery Dungeon game was absolutely no slouch in touching very dark themes, but I do feel like those were executed both better and more uniquely in the “sequel.”

Every part of this game past the time travel is just lip-smacking, and although it starts slow, you can definitely see pleeeenty of foreshadowing nearly everywhere, which makes replaying this one very fun. It’s definitely also on my “Must replay at least once a year” list as well.

I think every game in this list has a great soundtrack, but this one takes the cake in utilizing it to heighten my emotions. I think everyone reading this who’s familiar with the game knows what I mean when I say that the farewell scene (and the track that plays in it) is completely heartwrenching and beautiful. Definitely one of my favorite scenes in gaming.

I’m also gonna give a shoutout to the relationship between the player and the partner here for being super endearing and genuinely touching, whether you see it as romantic or platonic.

Sidenote: I will have the liver of that one reviewer who stopped at Apple Woods and then said this game was nothing special.

The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask:

The prize for reused assets done well goes to…

I would follow that up with a joke, but I’m not gonna. This is legitimately a good thing imo. I think it’s incredible that this game was made in one year because they had to rush it, and there’s a lot you can learn about game design and creatively cutting corners by the way Termina was created, too.

The fact that this game came out as great as it did is almost a miracle, everything considered! I really like the setting here, it’s so delightfully weird, and it makes me care about the fate of even its incredibly minor characters, which makes their impending doom and that of Link’s even more harrowing.

I could see how the time-management aspect of it wouldn’t fly with a lot of people, and admittedly I’m most familiar with the 3DS remake, so I can’t comment too much on how it used to be originally, but I think it largely synergizes well with the story. This IS a world about to end, so it feels warranted in a way that could be tough to justify otherwise.

This game also does something very well with horror, both in-game and in backstory, which is that it doesn’t spell out every implication and event out for you, but it implies juuuust enough that your mind makes you even more anxious and paranoid, as nothing could ever be as scary as your mind actually makes it out to be, and toying with this is way better than outright throwing scary shit at you… even if this game does that as well, what with those mask transformations and whatnot! Jeez.

Undertale:

I don’t know how to start this entry without outright saying this in some shape or form, so it’ll have to do - I don’t care about the fandom. I just don’t. They’ll do whatever the fuck they want with those terrible AUs and character biases, and I’ll bemoan it as usual, but I actively refuse to stop loving Undertale as it is because of them.

This game is a brilliant commentary on video games as a whole and has a great metanarrative! Pretty brilliantly and excellently executed, to be honest. It’s also yet another game that makes me cry frequently, and also makes me introspect more than I already do.

The gameplay itself can be hit or miss for me, but I don’t feel like it hurts the strength of what is there in other areas like storytelling, worldbuilding, soundtrack and character writing. It’s a bit like pinching a very hearty, stout elephant!

The different endings offer very, very different experiences that ultimately contribute to this setting and its commentary as a whole, even if I’m too much of a goody-two-shoes to ever do the No Mercy Run, but I enjoy the fact that it exists AND that the game itself calls me out for not doing it myself but watching it on youtube. Boy, did I get read for filth with that one. 

It’s also a game that masterfully implements a very specific kind of humor that I can’t get enough of, and it does so while simultaneously developing its characters and giving each of them just enough time to shine. It’s a great cast, all in all. I just wish people would appreciate more than one of the characters.

Fire Emblem: Awakening:

Like the game that made me etch a symbol on my fucking flesh forever wouldn’t make the cut. Come on.

I feel like this is the game in the series that comes the closest to getting the balance of qualities I appreciate about gaming right. It could always be better in a multitude of areas, but there’s a reason why it’s one of my most replayed games in general. The more whimsical tone? Doesn’t actually come close to bothering me, at the end of the day.

A lot of people don’t really attempt to get to know the characters like, at all, and then go on to say really dumb shit about them on social media that I’ve been known to flip the fuck about, just a little. But there’s just so many little details and anecdotes about them that you can learn through supports that make them feel more familiar to me, personally, than other casts even within the same series.

This game is also the one responsible for getting me through a really hard time in real life, so of course I still hold it extremely dear while growing out my critical lenses about it simultaneously (Yes, this can in fact be done). It did something similar to the franchise, too, which is always incredible and noteworthy!

It’s also responsible for me being on this site, so you really can say that its impact on my life is the biggest on this list, and I’m… not at all ashamed of admitting that.

I’m pretty sure I’ve spent over 500 hours with this one, without even counting the hours spent re-reading supports and other convos for my writing. This is a lot of goddamn time, but I don’t necessarily want it back, and that’s a good thing.

Udobure owns my soul.

Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia:

If you were to suck out my brain into this fucked up jar thing and make it spit out my aesthetic biases in creative goop that creates games, two of them would come forth from this messy birth - Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia and Bloodborne.

Given that I’ve actually played OoE myself, it goes on the list! End overview.

…Now, that’s not exactly untrue, but I would be underselling the game if I left that as is, so I’ll clarify other aspects about it that I enjoy.

The main character, for one, she’s one of my favorite protagonists, and it makes me glad she seemed to be popular, but I’m not exactly thrilled with how what a lot of people (and the company) remember about her is fanservice. 

Her story really struck a chord with me. She’s been robbed of her own emotions and memories at the start of the game, and when she regains slivers of it throughout the game, they still feel foreign to her, but even when things look to be at their absolute lowest (REAL nice plot twist, by the by!) not even that will stop her from performing her duty.

Another thing I enjoyed about this one was the difficulty. Normally, I’m not one to prefer the higher settings just because, and even when I try them, I frequently find myself in the position of questioning the absolute bullshit some games pull to fake any actual difficulty, but it works here because it’s actually balanced really well with what you can do and what you have available to you, making you actually think strategically.

Another thing I liked about this title that makes it stand out from the rest of the series is the map variety, since Shanoa isn’t constrained to Castlevania for the entire run, the game has an actual opportunity to show different locales, which is nice, even if they sometimes get reused in a boring way with just a different paint job.

Bayonetta:

Thiiiiis one gets on here for the longest period of courtship, without a doubt. I’ve been wanting to play it ever since it came out, but only got around to it this very year, since it was finally released on a platform I owned.

Well, alright, that’s one of the reasons, the other reason it’s here? It’s fun as FUCK to play! Every movement you make, every action flows into another and the combos all feel very natural, easy, but not devoid of strategy or thinking behind them. Beyond the gameplay, the entire thing is so darn over-the-top in typical Platinum fashion. It’s a very enjoyable ride that never forgets video games are supposed to be fun, above all.

I absolutely adore Bayonetta herself as a character. She is so amazing and multi-faceted despite the fanservice packaging. She’s quipping like the best of them in one scene, like nothing ever affects her, and then also ripping your heart out later when she shows believable vulnerability. 

I would be remiss to not mention the soundtrack, since it’s one of my favorites in gaming (beaten only by the very next entry on here) and is also my go-to for writing; Between fun, catchy themes like Mysterious Destiny and Tomorrow Is Mine, reimaginings of older songs that imho are better than the originals, like Fly Me To The Moon and Moon RIver and utterly jaw-dropping boss themes like Blood and Darkness and The Greatest Jubilee, the OST conveys every beat of the action spectacularly and makes the experience even more memorable than it would have already been.

Bayojeanne forever.

Legend of Mana:

I swear I’m not trying to be hipster-y by having my favorite one also be the least popular one on the list (by a long shot) but it’s likely that the fact that content for it is so rare somewhat influenced how close this game is to my heart, in a way. I think it made me cherish it more.

You won’t find another game quite like this one, I don’t think. The setting is extremely unique in that… you build it. You have to decide where every area in the game goes and all. It’s actually implied you’re rebuilding this world after all the magic in it has gone to shit. It’s something I really like, for sure.

It definitely makes you work for its story, and though the gist of it is presented in a cumbersome way, being exposited in history tomes you can acquire and view in a specific location… even they don’t completely spell out the backstory of this world, but in a good way rather than the usual “we blatantly didn’t finish this” kind of way. It helps that there is a lot you can learn about it from environmental storytelling and interpretation, as well. I like that, being asked to think about symbolism and what it means.

Another good point about this game that’s difficult to articulate is that it manages to create an entire world with its own set of morals and philosophies that, if taken at face value, can sound completely alien to us, but the game immerses me so deep into its world, that I end up understanding what they mean by it anyways and sympathizing where I might have not. I think that helped shape my introspective nature a lot, in retrospect. 

 There’s also the fact that although the four biggest story arcs aren’t actually linked at all, they do still absolutely play into the same major theme… even if a lot of people end up missing what it is due to how obtuse this game can be (It’s love, my dudes. Love and its classical understandings are the theme that permeates this game’s setting).

It’s also absolutely impossible for me to talk about Legend of Mana without gushing about its art design. Even if the graphics themselves aren’t great, the way it implements backgrounds still completely floors me every time I play. It does really interesting things with perspective, which you don’t see often. Hell, even the aptly-named Junkyard is unreasonably gorgeous.

The soundtrack, then? It’s Yoko Shimomura at her absolute best. It goes all the way between upbeat melodies and soul-rending compositions and it’s just intensely distinctive. A special note goes to the song City of Flickering Destruction, which still makes my heart tighten even after so many years.

Whew uh, this got long… if you’ve read this far, congratulations! You certainly can put up with an untold amount of bullshit. I’m sorry this became so disorganized, but I also… really enjoy sharing these. Really, I do. I hope I at least piqued your interest with even one of these entries. That alone would make writing this worth it a thousand times over.

Honorable mentions: Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones, Fire Emblem: New Mystery of the Emblem, Earthbound, Bloodborne, Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate, Pokémon Emerald, Pokémon Sun, Pokémon Ranger: Shadows of Almia,  The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword, The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, Metroid Prime 3: Corruption, Digimon World Dusk, Super Mario Sunshine, Super Mario Galaxy, New Super Mario Bros., Super Smash Bros For 3DS, Silent Hill 3, Resident Evil, Resident Evil 4, Resident Evil: Revelations, Resident Evil: Revelations 2, Bravely Default, Night in the Woods, Shovel Knight, Zero Escape: 9 Hours 9 Persons 9 Doors, Okami, Sonic 3 & Knuckles.

To play list: Dragon Age: Origins, Transistor, Bastion, The Darkness II, Skyrim, Hollow Knight, Dark Souls, Dark Souls II,  Sonic Mania, Resident Evil 5, Resident Evil 6, Alan Wake, Sonic Mania, Kingdom Hearts.