#it’s been fun so far but i am woefully bad at it

[clamsjams]

it is so awesome that rocktober 13th is friday the 13th this year! happy rocktober 13th everyone! tim is apparently going to be on brutal legend multiplayer all day today so maybe i’ll get to play with him! i literally started up the game for the first time yesterday lol, i’ve had it for awhile, got it in a bundle and i’ve been meaning to play it for ages so when i saw the post i figured that was a sign

[nothorses]

youre the first person ive seen since biden drop out who seems genuinely positive abt it, everyone else ive seen is being rlly negative or making jokes and it scared me a lot.... can you explain, or link to another post or article, that explains why its good that he dropped out? i keep seeing everyone saying that biden didnt do anything, then that he did so many things, thrn stuff saying kamala is a bad choice to endorse then you sounded so positive abt her and im very confused ): i avoid politics a lot cuz i live w a very protrump dad and its so difficult to find accurate information that isnt seaped in memes and sarcasm and pessimism but you sounded very genuine! thanks for any help <3

I went into more depth over here! I also wanna share a couple of videos I've been getting these perspectives from, because these folks are a lot more educated on the topic than I am.

I first heard the perspective that Biden was woefully unlikely to win from Olayemi Ulurin, in this video. She has a kind of "I can't blame anyone for not voting" perspective that I do think I agree with, largely because she's coming at it with nuance: Biden is not a compelling candidate, he's not likely to win, it makes sense people don't wanna vote for him, and the Democrats need to get their shit together and pick someone else.

She also posted this video (below) that goes way more in-depth into the issue, and which I think reflects (and GREATLY expands and adds to) my personal stance on the "vote blue no matter who" thing: i.e., voting is ultimately about making the fight easier for activists who are working for real change. It's important for that reason, not because the person you vote for can be trusted to do anything helpful of their own volition.

If you're gonna watch any of the videos I link here, watch that one.

The other source I've looked to a lot recently is Some More News, which is where I initially heard a lot more detail on the "Biden should drop out oh god oh please it's our only hope" perspective.

First was their podcast episode immediately following the recent Biden/Trump debate, in which they delve (somewhat casually, but thoroughly) into why Biden's 2024 campaign was so fucking terrifying for everyone who needs a Democrat win:

They also get into more detail on the topic here, in another podcast episode:

Those two videos are great just for understanding this election and why Biden dropping out is very much the best thing that could have happened. That's basically the topic for the full length of both podcast videos (where Olayemi just kind of touches on that specific question, in comparison). If you just want more details on that question and only have the capacity for one of these, you could probably watch either podcast video (I personally have only watched part of the second one, and all of the first one).

I'd also recommend these two channels for political insight in general.

Olayemi is great because she comes at things from an explicitly activist perspective, and she has a huge personal background in very grounded, concrete political activism, especially as a black immigrant woman. She brings in a lot of other experts as well, often themselves marginalized political activists, which is just a fantastic way to be exposed to a really awesome diversity of knowledgeable perspectives without having to look very far on your own. She's also relentlessly hopeful- and grounded in that hope- which is so, so important and refreshing.

Some More News is a good supplementary to Olayemi, imo, just in that they have a good, upbeat (and again, very grounded) energy, and they cover a lot of very current political stuff in an easy-to-digest kind of way. I find both them and Olayemi really fun to watch, but the vibes are definitely different between the two, and they're good counterpoints to each other- plus they tend to cover different stuff, which just helps broaden your awareness of what's going on, again without needing to look super far.

I know this is a lot of information; hopefully I've made it possible to sift through for the piece you actually want to start with, though. If nothing else, I really encourage folks to check out Olayemi and see if any of her videos catch their eye. She's really fantastic, and her stuff scratches my "video to do laundry to" itch while also being, like, a really valuable watch overall.

Best of luck!!

[drysaladandketchup]

hi! sorry you can absolutely delete this if u don’t feel like answering or anything cause this is kind of vent-y (?) and isn’t like… actually a question but i am SO annoyed at some hockey fans and how they decide to treat leon. i am german and i live in america and the way leon gets treated in fanfictions and hockey discourse gives me serious flashbacks on how i am treated here. ik leon speaks perfect english but i wish people remembered that that’s still his second!!! language!!! it’s not his native language!!! sometimes he will come across differently then he actually is!!! his words will get twisted and he will be misunderstood because it’s not his native language!!!! every time he’s described as pissy and arrogant and rude (in a genuinely rude way) a vulnerable german kid living in america dies… 😔😔😔 and then the mattdrai fanfictions (admittedly i have not read that many because im just a not a big fan of the pairing but it was one of the main ships that got me into the fandom) i just hate that he seems to be so villainized (?). i might be biased (i am) lol but i am soo sick of it rrrr sorry sorry this got way too long. you just spoke about it before so i felt like you might understand where i'm coming from. peace

Oh my dear anon, people continuing to personify Leon as arrogant, emotionless, and rude is becoming my villain origin story. I'm happy to vent alongside you. I have talked about this before, and it does still bother me when I see it. Because I'm biased too. I love this guy haha.

Just for context, I'm Canadian, born and raised, and as of yet haven't lived in another country where I've had to fluently speak a second language or adjust to a culture I was not raised with. So I am by no means someone who can speak on that experience. But I'm sorry you've faced that kind of judgment.

I've written my thoughts on this subject before, here and here, so I'll try not to rehash everything I've said in the past. But as you say anon, I do think Leon is woefully misunderstood. He himself has said he thinks he's misunderstood, and that he comes off as too direct at times, that it's, 'probably the German in me.' He speaks English perfectly well, very fluently, and he's been living in Canada so long it would be weirder if he wasn't culturally affected and adjusted in some way. But he's still very much German; socially, culturally, linguistically. You don't just lose one entirely just because you've been exposed to and entrenched in another.

Sometimes he says things that can come off differently in English than probably intended, or at least that are easily misinterpreted by a North American audience, but that's a far cry from being 'pissy', as he's been branded by fans and media alike (also as an aside even people speaking their first language get their words mixed up and twisted sometimes, so I think we should just cut everyone some more slack when speaking maybe?).

And look, admittedly I've called him bitchy at times in my tags, as a joke, because yeah like literally any other person on earth, sometimes he says or does something that is snarky or poking fun or off-brand humour. But that's not inherently bad, nor is it inherently German. That's just part of his personality, a singular behaviour in a singular moment. I don't genuinely think he's an angry or aggressive or mean person. I think he's literally just a human being with multitudes.

His occasional tone of voice or his sometimes blunt way of speaking or his sarcastic sense of humour--things that could at least in part be because of his being German but are also not at all exclusive to or ubiquitous among Germans--is why some people make him out to be this aggressive or mean-spirited person, but like... obviously that is not only not true if you pay even an ounce of attention to him beyond a few choice soundbites and clips, but it's also insulting in general. As you say, people assuming the worst of you simply because of differences in communication or expression is the farthest thing from okay. Insinuating that he's brutish or emotionless or rude because he's German is obviously bigoted. It's xenophobic. Not to mention, as you said, it just makes it that much harder for other Germans to approach this audience without fearing they'll be judged the same way.

Now, obviously I don't know the guy personally, I only know what of him is public, but he seems like the farthest thing from rude or standoffish or arrogant. He really isn't any different from any other player (skills not withstanding), but for some reason he doesn't seem to get the same leeway between his on-ice persona and his off-ice persona, or from one instance to the next. For some reason, he's held under this microscope and reduced to his 'worst' moments more than a lot of other players I've seen. He does anything without a smile on his face or makes even one joke or comment that's less than flattering (or falls flat due to language differences), he's immediately made out to be a bad guy.

And to touch on mattdrai, which I do love a lot--and it's okay if it's not something you're into anon, you don't have to justify what you do or don't like :)-- I've said before that I think Matthew and Leon aren't always written very true to life. And I totally agree with you that the issue I sometimes see with Leon's characterization is that he is written like he's arrogant and lacking in emotion (at least outwardly), sometimes even acting like some overly-aggressive bully, and that's just so far from the reality that we know. And yes, some writers, like some fans, actively point to the fact that he's German to explain that. As if that's just how all Germans are, by nature of being German. Which, as I said and as you know anon, is so many kinds of wrong and horrible.

Yes yes he does dumb things on the ice sometimes and he and Matthew (and others) have exchanged shoves and whacks and chirps over the years. But again, if folks watched literally anything with Leon outside of those moments, they'd know that those are incidents, not his whole personality. I'm not over here pretending like he's never done anything wrong or questionable or stupid, but who hasn't? He's not a villain for that. Just like he's not perfect. We're all human.

Oof sorry anon this response got away from me a bit lol. Sorry if this got a little off topic, but I am nothing if not someone who rants and rambles. This topic drives me nuts; I can only imagine how upsetting and frustrating it is for you, as a German living in America.

But my ask box is always open for venting <3

[laurarolla]

About halfway through the Borderlands The Pre-Sequel campaign. Keep in mind I have not played any other game in the series except a little bit of the first game back when it came out. I do, however, know who some of these characters are and what happens to some extent in BL2. I'm not talking about gameplay in this post, just story, which is good because the story and atmosphere are the best parts of the game.

So, am I ever supposed to feel a little bad for Jack? Because if I am, mission failed because Jack is just a top tier piece of crap right from the start. He comes across as a spoiled brat and, at best, woefully naive about everything. He has a singleminded focus on whatever goal he's pursuing, he has absolutely no respect for anyone and comes across as a somewhat self-aware asshole with most of his dialogue. The only time he seems to have really shown any compassion was to Felicity, but what he ordered done to her...

On the other hand, Moxxi is a fun enough character, Roland and Lilith come across as pretty average mercenary minded folks, Janey is great, every Claptrap so far has been a delight, and Zarpedon is around just enough to be a likeable antagonist (at the moment). As an aside, I do think that Jack is well written to become exactly the character he will be in Borderlands 2, and Felicity is a solidly tragic character despite not having much screen time. I'm enjoying the stories, the characters, and the vibe of the game. I'll have my thoughts on the gameplay organized when I finish the story (and maybe the DLC)

[arosnowflake]

also because everyone was clearly wondering (sarcasm), here's my loz opinions so far:

A Link to the Past: Very good, can definitely see why it got as popular and influential as it did. Really loved exploring the overworld and the dungeon designs were strong. Unfortunately I am bad at video games and this game made me use an invincibility cheat and also clown music (to avoid gamer rage) to get through it. Like it was a genuine hit to my self esteem. So yeah I could've enjoyed it more than I did.

Link's Awakening DX: Perfect 10/10 no notes (lie). OK I feel like this game in many respects feels kinda unpolished; maybe it's just bc I was emulating it but some of the controls were a goddamn nightmare and I didn't find most of the dungeons particularly memorable. That said, the VIBES in this game are immaculate. From the Mario/Kirby cameos to the setting and story this game is deeply charming. Though I have my issues with it, I find the story a lot more compelling than I have so far in the other games, though obviously that could change once I get to the entries that focus more on their story. Also Marin is my daughter and I am obsessed with her.

Oracle of Ages: The dungeon designs in this one were surprisingly strong imo; this game has my fave dungeons of the series so far, and some of the items (like the seed shooter and mermaid's tail) are really fun. Unfortunately I found the rest of it pretty mid. Like it's still good, don't get me wrong, but it lacks the pizzaz that A Link to the Past and Link's Awakening both had. The story is very generic and I don't find any of the NPCs particularly compelling. Labrynna as a setting just doesn't grab me. The time traveling gimmick isn't particularly interesting to me, especially since I have a sneaking suspicion Ocarina of Time is just gonna do it better. It's not bad but I can see why it's one of the more forgotten LOZ titles.

Oracle of Seasons (so far): I haven't even gotten to the second dungeon yet so grain of salt lmao but I'm enjoying it much more than Oracle of Ages. I find the changing seasons gimmick a lot more interesting, the setting, story, and NPCs so far more fun than in Ages, and (although this is not Ages fault in the slightest and works in its favour), the connecting games gimmick is really coming into play now and it's fun.

Breath of the Wild (so far): I'm pretty solidly in the mid game I think? I have thirteen hearts, two extra thingies of stamina, the entire map is unlocked, I've acquired the Master Sword, I have about half of the photo memories, I've killed the big metal lizard and am set to kill the big metal bird and big metal elephant at any point I'd like to. I've been playing it off and on in between the other games bc this one and its sequel are much longer than the others and have a different formula. Anyway. The world is very impressive and beautiful, I think some of the story elements (the ones playing with the typical destiny angle) and Zelda as a character are very interesting, and this game's addictive in the sense that I can easily play it for like eight hours on accident. That said I don't think the shrines and koroks are particularly fun to get, which is a problem because they're probably the most important progression mechanics in the game, and it made especially the early game feel like kind of a slog. This game also drives me up the fucking WALL with its storytelling and worldbuilding because both are just woefully inadequate and it's INSANE to me because at several points they show that they CAN do it well they just. Don't. Most of the time. I had to cut an entire rant about how much it annoys me where I actually source these claims bc it singlehandedly made this post twice as long as it is now, so source: just trust me bro. It drives me INSANE and it's a serious damper on my enjoyment of the game.

[convexicalcrow]

Snowflake Challenge #6 In your own space, post the results of your fandom scavenger hunt. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

This one looked super fun, and I'm doing both physical stuff as well as a few digital things, bc for some of these I had more than one thing I wanted to share so. :D

Search in your current space, whether brick-and-mortar or digital. Post a picture or description of something that is or represents:

A favorite character

Sausage and Santa Perla oml <3

I can't list one without the other ofc. Sausage's lore captivated me in Empires s1, and hasn't let go yet. The lore he's running in Empires s2 is just incredible. It's made me cry far too many times, and I'm just so invested in whatever the hell he's got going on. Also I love a good excuse for religious world-building, and having Santa Perla to work with has been so fun. <3 I'm really looking forward to what Pearl decides to do with her side of the lore now that she remembers as well.

2. Something that makes you laugh

It's Mark Watson, Alex Horne, and Tim Key! This is collectively representing them as a group of friends and just doing stupid shit together, but also No More Jockeys, Mark's long shows, Key's works, and the non-Taskmaster stuff Alex does, though there's not much outside of the Horne Section these days lol, he's a busy boy.

For digital things, may I offer the following: - Longform: Big Fat Quiz 2015. It starts off fairly sensible then gets derailed by bad dong, and only gets more off-track from there. A classic. - Shortform: Carrot In A Box. Need I say more. rip Sean Lock, you bastard genius. </3 - TV series: 15 Storeys High, Sean Lock's sitcom from way back when. It was rec'd to me by a friend, and I don't regret finding a copy to download bc it's so good. <3 - TV series: This Is Jinsy, weird, full of songs, nonsense and whimsy, def worth tracking down a copy of this show. It's so good. Makes me laugh so much. <3 Greg Davies in drag is also a lovely touch lol.

3. A bookshelf

These are the Taskmaster books that still exist. I tore up an awful lot of them to make 1000 paper cranes a few years ago. XD Also have some Key and Horne and Watson. <3 The three books on the far left are my current reading material.

4. A game or hobby you enjoy

iykyk >_>

(and yes at some point I will be making a Dinnerbone nametag for that blue sheep :D)

5. Something you find comforting

Cub omg. <3 I just find his voice so soothing and comforting, and bingeing through his episodes or watching his streams is very comforting for me. I'm really enjoying all the daily speedrunning streams atm bc they're on when I'm awake during the mornings for me, so I can have breakfast and chill with Cub and it's so so nice. <3

6. A TV show or movie you hope more people will watch

Double The Fist is an old Aussie TV comedy that I maintain is actually a metanarrative about the intersections of queerness, homophobia, and toxic masculinity (ESPECIALLY in the second series) that I am woefully inadequately skilled enough to actually write on, but trust me bro, everyone in the main cast is some flavour of queer and I'm here for it. It's very good.

bonus shout out for Set The Thames On Fire, bc it's such a good movie and more of you need to see it frfr. <3 There were some really, really interesting headcanons going around linking Noel's character in this movie back to his character in The Mighty Boosh as a bonus if you like that kind of thing.

7. A piece of clothing you love

look I won't be able to wear these for like another four months but they are super comfy and I adore them so much. <3

also yeah I didn't take these out of my chest of drawers bc lazy and also I live in a dark cave of a room, the lighting is terrible everywhere. XD

8. A thing from an old fandom

The Prisoner! Dhani Harrison got me onto this bc he named his band thenewno2, I adored their music, and when I looked them up, discovered what it was named after, and then I dived right in and fell in love with it. I can't remember which specific episode order I prefer out of the five or so that exist, but yeah!

I've written crossovers with The Prisoner for my last 2/3 fandoms, so maybe I'll get there for Hermitcraft one day. :D?

9. A thing from a new fandom

ConVex my beloveds <3

If you want to know why they took over my brain, I would like to point you at this 3min edit of ConVex lore and let you take it all in. :D They're insane, I love them so much. XD

[teavandbookscuits]

Sweet Home (2020)

My first tea index post will be about a tv show recommended to me by a friend in an attempt to get me to stop talking about Alice in Borderlands.

Sweet Home is a Korean horror show following a group of people living in a building after monsters start to take over our world (or at least Seoul).

Right off the bat, I needed a cup of tea. I think I've been spoiled, Reader, because it took me an awfully long time to actually get into this show. It took about 3 cups of tea to get through episode 1. That being said, things did start to pick up, and thankfully I had started to develop an attachment to some of the characters involved. I am very bad at remembering character names in things (any character, in anything) and so made up a few nicknames to go along with the characters. This is recommended to add to the fun.

I'm sorry to say that as of where I am in this show (I have just completed episode 5), our tea count is incredibly low. While there are a few shots of empty mugs which may have once been used for tea, there has yet to be one mention of it, and only one sighting; still in bag form and surrounded by coffee! This brief glimpse occurs in episode 2 a whole 44 minutes in! Despite its appearance in the background throughout this scene, I dare say it's woefully underutilised. At this point in the story, the drama is well under way, and I would be desperate to have a cup. The electricity is out, so I can understand they may have reservations, but a little bit of effort pays off here. I have not seen any tea since.

As for the need for the characters to have cups of tea, there are many characters painfully in need. The main group has a wonderful cast, many of whom I found myself getting attached to, and I fear their burdens are not being properly treated. There are, however, two characters I would gleefully remove the tea from. Exemption from tea priveledges may occur in rare cases and in this show I've so far found two. That being said, everyone else deserves a good strong cup, and there's even one character I would even trust to make a good cup of tea for me.

As the show progressed I found myself nearly forgetting cups of tea, a strong improvement in watchability from episode 1. For that reason, I am rating the first 5 episodes of Sweet Home, for enjoyability:

7 cups out of 10!

Regretfully, for its representation of tea, I can only rate it:

0 cups out of 10.

There is not a single cup of tea shown in these episodes, and to be clutching so desperately at a single scene with tea bags in the background, I feel let down. This show never promised me tea, but I remain hopeful that I can rate it higher in future.

Final thoughts:

It's got plenty of room for improvement, and it's woeful lack of tea is irksome, but it's definitely worth nearly forgetting a cup or two - but not quite worth actually forgetting it! It's quite a gruesome show, and there have been moments I've even had to grip onto my tea for strength, but as always, it's been my beloved companion throughout it all. I'm sure there will be more drama to come and so I'd better get the kettle on, and prepare for the rest of the show.

Thank you Reader, and please feel free to let me know if I've missed any tea sightings. Together we can bring more tea into the lives of our beloved characters. It's what they would want.

[heliads]

Guns Blazing, Tides Rising (Part Four)

When Kaz Brekker announces that they’ll be working with a certain Tidemaker to help with the latest heist, Jesper knows it’s not going to end well. He and Y/N L/N have a fierce rivalry, although feelings may change over a night.

part three / series masterlist / part five

consider: secret dating but fake dating at the exact same time (ily @underc0vercryptid​ ty for the suggestion :))

Jesper’s feet flash underneath him. He’s running, faster than he has in a while. His breath comes sharp in his lungs, a silent promise to himself that he won’t be caught, not today. The flagstones are far beneath him as he runs along the roofline, but he manages to keep his distance. Maybe Jesper has more in common with the Wraith than he’d first thought.

Jesper turns his attention back to the roof he’s currently heading down, and feels a slight twinge of panic start to rise within him. He’s running out of shingled space, and the gap between houses is approaching faster than he’d like. Jesper’s eyes narrow, his hands tap once and twice at his pearl-handled revolvers, and then he makes the jump.

He hits the next house with a significant impact, one that knocks the air for his lungs for a second before he manages to swallow the jolt and keep moving. Jesper knows this part of town, knows the way the houses curve and turn as they twist down the narrow sidestreets. If he darts across this opening, down this corner of the roof, then there’s a fire escape off the back, one that empties into a nearby alleyway.

A stolen pocket watch dangles at Jesper’s side; he checks it with a furrow of his brow. He’s running on borrowed time, a moment or so too slow. He sets his jaw with a determined tilt, running even faster until he’s sure he’s going to slip and fall. Then again, he just might manage to pull this off. Jesper has had plenty of practice over the last week.

A few more seconds of running, and then Jesper is jumping again. He hangs for a moment in the air, arms rising involuntarily as he falls. Then his heels hit the fire escape with a thunk and he’s down, twisting himself over the rails to quicken his journey to the ground. He’s clear of the fire escape now, and loses himself into the mess of alleys that crowd the streets of Ketterdam, sprawling out in an untidy heap like the last remnants of a spiderweb on an abandoned window.

He crosses over one street, two, then ducks under a faded and scrappy awning to find himself in an opening in the alleyways, a back end that nobody checks except the Dregs. He’s back on safe ground, both literally and figuratively. Jesper lets out a sigh of relief, checking the liberated pocket watch once more. Right on time. Even Kaz Brekker would be impressed.

There’s a derisive snort from behind him, and Jesper’s head shoots up in a flash.

“You know, I don’t think you have to go this hard for a practice run.” Jesper straightens up, sauntering over to Y/N with a grin fit to kill. “And why is that, Tidemaker? Maybe I’m just having fun.” Y/N raises an eyebrow at this casual confidence. “Do you always get this sure of yourself after every run? Maybe it’s not so bad after all.”

Jesper leans down, stealing a kiss and swooping away before Y/N has time to think on it. “Maybe not? I’m excellent, and I’m making sure I’m excellent for this heist. We’ll have to be careful, you know. And when am I not careful?” Y/N raises an eyebrow, although her smile deceives her challenging expression. “When we nearly got caught against the wall of the Crow Club two weeks ago? When you had your hands on my dress and-”

Jesper kisses her, both because he can and because the flush in Y/N’s cheeks renders her unable to finish the sentence. “What was that, love? Talking about my excellence? Anyways, we might not be as careful as we could be, but that just makes it fun.” Y/N hums quietly, the sound deep in her throat. “Maybe. Does the fun not extend to spontaneity in heists?” Jesper groans, reaching into his coat to flip his revolver back and forth out of habit from the mention of the heist. “Try telling Kaz Brekker that you’re not following his plans. It’s not exactly a pleasant experience.”

Jesper’s fingers tighten over his revolver as he remembers the meeting of a week ago. Kaz had called him to his office yet again, and Jesper’s pulse had raced at the sight of the maps and documents littering his desk. Another heist, another escapade, another chance for bullets to fly and for Jesper to finally have a bit of fun. 

Kaz had folded his hands over his crow’s head cane. “We’re breaking into a mercher’s house.” Jesper had raised an eyebrow. “Joeri ter Steege again? Saints, this guy doesn’t know when to give up.” Kaz chuckled. “No, not Joeri. This will make ter Steege seem like a pleasant memory. We’re taking on Pekka Rollins.”

Jesper had known even from that first mention of the gang boss that this heist wasn’t going to be easy. Whenever Pekka Rollins’ name came up, Kaz got a look in his eyes, a dangerous look that only came out when bones would be broken and screams would rend the night. Brekker was gone, replaced by Dirtyhands, the boy who would do anything to get what he wanted. Blood would be shed in the Barrel, likely sooner than expected.

Kaz had cleared this throat, the sound like rough stones grinding underneath a carriage wheel. “Rollins has a mercher in his pocket. His name is Arnout Hul, and he’s got ties to banking as well as trade. He’s the perfect puppet for Pekka’s strings. Right now, Pekka wants him because Arnout has a list of names, a list that just might correspond to the Council of Tides.” Jesper let out a low whistle. “I thought the Council of Tides never revealed their identities?”

Kaz gave a tense shrug. “That’s what we thought. Could be nonsense, could be a lead. I need you to find out. Arnout Hul is hosting a party in about a week and a half. You and L/N will enter as guests, Inej and I will circle around back. You two will be getting the names, we’ll be on another tangent.” Jesper had nodded, accepting the map of Hul’s house without another word. He’s run with the Dregs long enough to understand something: if Kaz Brekker doesn’t tell you the details of a mission, it’s for the best. He won’t tell you no matter how much you question him, so why waste the breath to ask?

Normally, Jesper would have no problem going with Y/N to the party. It’s an excuse to act like lovesick fools and drink plenty of expensive liquor, what could be wrong with that? It’s the second part of the playacting that bothers him: namely, the escape. It’ll be easy enough to slip away from the party and into Arnout Hul’s office, but the chances of them returning will be significantly lower. Most likely, they’ll have to make a quick exit from there, especially with whatever Kaz and Inej are doing added to the mix.

That’s why Jesper’s been running the rooflines, making sure he’s ready to escape when necessary. The rooftops in this corner of the Barrel are similar in layout to those near Hul’s mansion, give or take a few feet. Y/N had raised an eyebrow at this when she first heard of his practice runs. “If it’s off, with some jumps bigger or smaller, won’t you get confused when we actually have our lives on the line?” Jesper had dismissed her questions with a trademark wink. “Some are a little off, but if you average them they’ll all be the same. Yes, that is how it works. I’ve done something like this before. Somewhat.”

The Y/N in front of him has now become accustomed to Jesper’s plans, and just watches with a grin as he taps the stolen pocket watch. “How was your timing this go around?” Jesper flashes her a grin. “Right on the dot. It was spotless.” Y/N steps closer, letting her fingers linger on his hand, the lapel of his coat. “I’m fairly sure I saw you stumble on one of the jumps.” Jesper takes her hand, stopping its climb and pressing a kiss to the knuckles. “You were watching me? I’m touched.”

Y/N snorts. “I was watching for weaknesses. It’s not like that.” Jesper cocks an eyebrow. “I’m sure it wasn’t. Was that why you were waiting for me like a blushing schoolgirl?” When Y/N opens her mouth to protest, Jesper closes it with a kiss. Saints, he likes riling her up. Makes it that much more fun to kiss her senseless.

Jesper stares up at the mercher’s mansion. He’s broken into plenty of these woefully wealthy houses over his time with the Dregs, stolen and blackmailed and worked hard to bring down even more. It feels strange to now be walking into one as an esteemed guest, one with a pretty girl on his arm. The girl in question turns to him now, a smile flickering over her lips at the sight of his reluctance to enter the building.

“We do have to go in at some point, right?” Jesper forces a smile. “Of course we do. Just, uh, admiring the view.” Her gaze softens, and she leans over to press a kiss to his cheek. “It’s going to be fine. We’re going to be fine. Now, come on- I intend to be shown off to all the attendees.” Jesper can’t help but laugh at that. For some reason, this small joke is enough to convince him to escort Y/N up the wide colonnade and into the main foyer of the mansion. It’s been decorated extravagantly, if lacking a little in taste, and the entire spectacle could take your breath away.

Jesper and Y/N mingle throughout the crowd, doing their best to seem like normal, law-abiding citizens of Kerch. Jesper leans close to Y/N, whispering something in her ear like a flirty compliment. “I think I pickpocketed that guy a month ago.” Y/N laughs, the sound effortless. More than a couple unpartnered mercher’s sons look over at her in unabashed longing. She whispers in turn to him, careful not to let anyone overhear. “I drowned that one’s office. Hundreds of documents, gone. He’s cripplingly in debt now because all of his stocks are waterlogged and useless.”

Jesper has to try his utmost to stop from laughing. “You know, I think you’re the only girl I’ve ever met who can keep one-upping me on crimes.” Y/N tosses a glance his way, easy and full of secrets he could only hope to keep. “That’s why you love me, isn’t it?” Jesper feels like his heart has been shot through with bullets. It is, more than she could ever know. He could love her every second of every day, and it would never be enough. He loves her more than anything he’s known before.

However, they’re on a mission, so he can’t exactly burst forth with poetic confessions. Instead, he keeps his tone light. “Of course it is. I wouldn’t love just anyone, would I?” He can only hope that this brief statement will be enough. Looking at Y/N, though, at the light shining behind her eyes, he has a feeling that she knows what he means. She understands him, and knows exactly what he isn’t saying and what he wishes he could. Jesper doesn’t think he’s ever had anyone else like this, someone who can send him a single glance and say a thousand words in the time it takes for their eyes to meet. 

An orchestra begins to play, and the couples start to migrate towards the center of the room. Jesper extends a hand to Y/N, who takes it. He spins her once before assuming the proper form, footsteps in tandem as they move throughout the dance. Y/N raises an eyebrow at him. “Since when have you known how to waltz like a mercher?” Jesper smiles like a renegade. “Since I knew I would be dancing with you.”

Y/N leans forward, lips ghosting over his. She doesn’t kiss him, though, just whispers something in the heated stillness. “I can see the door to his office. It’s down the hall to our left.” Jesper groans. “You’re sure we can’t stay a little longer?” His hands slide down to her hips, nestling there in the fabric. She grins, although he can tell from the slight intake of her breath that it’s not an easy choice. “Afraid so, Fahey. We’ve got a deadline to meet.”

Right now, Jesper is willing to curse all the Saints and Kaz Brekker that he has to leave this dance and let Y/N out of his arms, but his girl isn’t wrong- they have to be in the office and out in a short matter of time. If they miss the cutoff time, Jesper has no idea what will happen. Kaz and Inej are somewhere in this building, and Jesper has no doubt that they’re doing something that has the potential to alert a lot of guards to their presence.

Most eyes are trained on the dancing couples in the ballroom, so it’s fairly easy for Jesper and Y/N to slip from the room, shoes clicking on the tiles of the empty halls. The noise and laughter of the gala disappears behind them the further they stray from the gathering. At last, they spot the office, which is guarded by a duo of tall, broad-shouldered thugs in uniform. Jesper waits until the music reaches a particularly loud pitch, then reaches out, knocking one of the guards unconscious in a swift motion. 

Y/N reaches her hand towards the other one, directing a stream of water to flow from a nearby flower pot into the man’s mouth and nose, drowning him instantly. She holds the water there for a second longer, watching with a cool certainty as the man struggles, then releases her hold as the man crumples to the ground. He’s still breathing, at least for now. Y/N looks back to Jesper, as if daring him to be alarmed, but if she’s looking for fear, she’ll find none with him. Jesper happens to have a thing for dangerous women. It’s gotten him in trouble before, but it just makes him fall even harder for Y/N.

They open the door with a key from a ring on a guard’s belt, moving as quietly as possible. Kaz believed that the list of names would be in a safe on one of the mercher’s shelves, which they locate quickly. Jesper hovers before it, doing his best to remember everything Kaz had told him and everything he’d taught himself about picking locks. He hesitates a second, then twists his hand, reaching his consciousness out into the metal and the workings of the safe. The lock clicks open, and Jesper smirks.

There’s a single envelope resting in the safe, marked with a bloodred seal that Jesper recognizes. Kaz had pointed it out to them earlier, saying that the list of names would be marked with it. Jesper snatches up the envelope, pocketing it in a recess of his coat . He nods at Y/N, who begins to prop up the guards at the door. Hopefully, they’ll just think they drank too much and nodded off. Jesper locks the safe and door behind them, and they slip back out into the hall.

They’ve barely turned the corner when Jesper realizes his mistake. They’ve spent too long in the office, and the guests have all filed away into another part of the mercher’s mansion. Jesper and Y/N seem conspicuously lost to the squadron of guards marching towards them. Jesper feels panic rising in his chest. The guards are around the corner at the far side of the hall, about to discover him and Y/N and wonder why they’re not with the rest of the partygoers.

Jesper fishes around for an excuse, but none rise to his lips. Frantically, he turns to Y/N, who has his same panic in her eyes. “What do we do?” She hisses, and Jesper gestures towards the wall. “We pretend we were distracted.” Y/N nods once, understanding. She pulls the neckline down from her dress, letting the fabric pool around her collarbone. Jesper pushes her against the wall, letting his hands creep to her hips and up her dress. This might be a ruse to convince the guards, but Jesper can’t exactly pretend that it’s hurting him to let his lips linger on her throat, the space behind her ear, her lips which open with a sigh.

There’s a coughing sound behind them, and Jesper lets himself straighten up in feigned embarrassment. The guards are looking definitively uncomfortable. “The rest of the party has, uh, moved to the receiving hall, if you’d like to join them.” Jesper flashes them a grin, helping Y/N to readjust her dress. “Of course, officer. Thanks for the tip.” He offers Y/N a hand, guiding her past the soldiers and into the halls once more.

He doesn’t dare speak until they’re far away from the soldiers, then turns to her with a sigh of relief. “Thank the Saints, I thought we were done for.” Y/N laughs at that, the sound a pretty call in the dark. Jesper almost wishes the guards would come back so he’d have an excuse to kiss her like that again. “Well, it wasn’t the worst of alibis.” Jesper smirks at her words. “I wouldn’t mind using it again.”

They’re almost out of the building when Jesper hears the alarms suddenly raised across the mansion. He curses under his breath. Y/N turns to him. “Kaz and Inej. They must have finished their side mission.” Jesper nods, considering the rows of doors before him. “Here. It’ll lead to a side exit.” They run through the halls, not bothering to conceal the loud echoes of their steps. They dart around carriages and into the neighbouring streets, through twisting alleys. Jesper feels a rush of gratitude for all the time he’d spent navigating the rooflines and escape opportunities. Finally, all his practice runs are paying off.

Jesper can hear the shouting of guards behind them, but he and Y/N are too far away for the uniformed men to do anything to them. Jesper takes one last turn, landing them solidly in Barrel territory, then lets himself slow to a stop. His breath is coming hard in his chest, but the adrenaline rush pounding through his veins is something else altogether. He’s feeling powerful, like he might do anything tonight. And, as he looks back at Y/N, who’s regarding him with the same devil-sharp grin, he might be willing to make a dangerous mistake.

Jesper is not sure when he decides to kiss her again, only that he doesn’t ever want to stop. He’s been forced to act polite all night with the merchers, but he can finally kiss her like a criminal, someone who doesn’t have to play by the rules. He can still feel his heart hammering in his chest, but he doesn’t intend to let it stop. They’ve escaped, haven’t they? Why not celebrate?

series tag list: @kaqua​

[battlinghurricanes]

DEIPHOBUS TIME!

I'm honestly not entirely sure how I got such a deeply involved concept for his character and motivations, but I definitely did. I just feel like he fits into an especially interesting place in everything and that there's a lot of great potential with him.

Shout out to @petalveinedwarrior for enabling me and also I'm very sorry for being incredibly long winded. My bad.

Also DISCLAIMER! I am NOT an expert on the Trojan War and all its surrounding mythology lol. This is just for fun, based on my own fairly limited knowledge of the myths (though I think I pretty much cover everything that’s relevant to this). These are just my headcanons woven with some details from various myths. Sorry if anything’s missing or inaccurate!

SO!

-

First and foremost, I headcanon Deiphobus as the oldest of Priam and Hecuba’s children after Hektor.

Hektor calls Deiphobus the dearest of his brothers, and to me, this is why. They are the closest in age and they were the closest growing up, best friends when they were young. They also get the closest to being on equal footing which means a lot to Hektor, who often feels distance between him and his other siblings because of being heir to Troy.

Despite the relatively equal ground and Deiphobus treating Hektor with a very casual familiarity, deep down, he idolizes him. Deiphobus adores and admires Hektor, ever a younger brother in how he looks up to his strength and intelligence and reliability but close enough in age to not feel the same envy as so many of their younger siblings.

Deiphobus is aware that he is next in line to inherit the throne of Troy after Hektor, and the possibility of that is more real to him than to the rest. He doesn’t envy or want the responsibilities Hektor has to bear being the first son and admires him for it rather than resenting him. He never wants the weight of Troy on his shoulders.

Additionally, as close as they are, Hektor confides more openly in Deiphobus than the rest of their siblings. Consequently, he has a more realistic idea of both the burden he bears and also the ways he struggles to manage it like any human would.

Deiphobus holds Hektor in the highest regard- he means the world to him. It is a strange and unique combination of relating to and understanding Hektor exactly as he is and then loving him so dearly for how remarkably he seems to do in all of it, all that Deiphobus adores and strives to be like.

Hektor calls Deiphobus the dearest of his brothers, but Deiphobus would never need to say the same of Hektor, that much has always been obvious.

Deiphobus himself is ferociously loyal, boastful and fiery proud, wild and energetic, and always quick to smile and laugh with a sharp sense of humor. He’ll defend his own with tooth and nail, Hektor first and foremost, and they make a well balanced pair. Hektor’s level headed sense of responsibility softens many of Deiphobus’s rough edges, and Deiphobus’s enthusiasm breaks through many of Hektor’s more anxiously formed reservations.

Deiphobus would do near anything for Hektor, to a concerning degree in the eyes of some, but Hektor, by his nature, isn't overly controlling. He doesn't want Deiphobus to change how he is. Mostly, the only place Hektor truly pushes him is on moral grounds, for better rather than for worse.

Deiphobus hates to spend time overthinking anything, which benefits him in some ways, but also frequently has him following the example of those around him without considering what might lean towards cruelty. Hektor never tolerates hurtful and needless rudeness or otherwise, and their friendship doesn’t spare Deiphobus his reprimands.

Hektor's needling, though, has him step back and reexamine his actions and the second look is generally what he needs to correct his missteps. Admittedly, he’ll sometimes act better in some way solely to please Hektor, but far more often than not, he’ll come to recognize why it’s best with time and continue that way from his own compulsion.

(He grows and his conscience sounds irritatingly like Hektor.)

Deiphobus is actually one of the best of his siblings at not holding a grudge. He might for drama or humor’s sake, but once a squabble is past, he’ll easily set it aside in favor of having fun with whoever he fought with.

Regardless of his flaws, Deiphobus is amiable and of the opinion that it’s never worth passing up a good time over some pettiness. He’s never one to ignore the value of little joys, no matter how fleeting they are.

Before the war, when he is still younger, there is Antheus. He’s the pretty son of Antenor, and both Deiphobus and Paris are quite taken with him. Paris’s involvement rubs him the wrong way, but he elects to ignore it as best he can. It doesn’t sit right to consider policing Antheus’s actions. He can hardly demand he stop seeing Paris while still insisting on his company, after all.

Besides, he can’t really complain. Antheus favors him with his presence often, laughing at his jokes, stealing off his plate when they share meals, tumbling with him when they wrestle. And when Antheus lifts his hand to idly toy with his lower lip as he smiles slyly at him, Paris is the last thing on Deiphobus’s mind.

Hektor teases him sometimes when he turns up ruffled from some exchange turned overzealous, but his flustered frustration pales in comparison to his excitement, so Hektor gets away with it. Oh, he loves Antheus and the feeling is so heady, better than the most potent wine.

Then it all shatters when some men rush into the palace with Antheus’s limp body carried between them. He was in the gymnasium with Paris, they learn. One throw from Paris with a warped discus and Antheus was gone. Deiphobus stares at the blood soaked in his lovely hair.

Deiphobus is ready to rip Paris apart, but when his brother is guided in after, there’s just no room for it. He’s in complete hysterics, shaking all over as he hyperventilates, and screaming would have gotten through to him no more than their family’s vain attempts to calm him down.

Paris is inconsolable afterwards. He retreats in on himself, though without any attempt to defend himself, first to give himself the blame. He makes for a pitiful sight, and at first, Deiphobus can’t stand being in his presence at all, to take his anger and grief out on him or otherwise.

It doesn’t take that long for Deiphobus’s anger to grow more painful than cathartic anyway and, well, it is hard to lash out at someone acting exactly how he feels. He feels the same heartbreak and pain he sees in Paris and he can’t find it in himself to rage against him when he’d rather just sit and cry himself.

Paris does take it upon himself to face Deiphobus after a time and claim responsibility for what happened that day. Deiphobus doesn’t forgive him, doing that feels... off, but he manages to convey that he won’t turn on him for the accident with Antheus. He thinks that might make Paris feel better but he can’t truly tell.

It all still hurts then, even as they try to get things to settle. Nothing but more time can do anything more to heal those wounds.

And time passes and then Paris returns from Sparta with Helen, and, well.

The brewing war doesn’t drive a rift between Deiphobus and Hektor, but it does force a new distance between them. The pressure on Hektor spikes and never eases, and the time he has to spare becomes exceedingly rare.

Much of the time the two would have spent for themselves together now shifts to working together to manage the complications that come with this new conflict; Deiphobus has new responsibilities to shoulder himself. More work, less play, but the mutual affection and respect between them remains just as strong as before.

Deiphobus can’t help but feel a certain bitterness over having the casual companionship of his brother taken away from him, but he does all he can to set it aside. He refuses to let it be another source of stress for Hektor, so often too caring for his own good, and he doesn’t hold it against him anyway.

As always, Deiphobus remains aware that these tasks could easily have been his and, privately, he feels woefully inadequate in the face of that possibility. And truly, it just serves to make Hektor even greater in his eyes, handling it all with grace he can’t imagine. He knows he’s not perfect, yet still, it’s hard to imagine that anything could ever truly bring Hektor down.

And so, Deiphobus helps his brother in the ways he can and loves him as ever, always ready and eager to fight at his side.

Deiphobus leads a contingent himself, and does it well. It comes easier to him to manage a smaller group like that. He does as directed and guides his men through the fighting. One can say what they will about his ability to lead, but his capability as a warrior is undeniable.

Things shift between Deiphobus and Paris as well. Much of Troy turns on Paris, some faster than others. Deiphobus ignores the greater dramatics which, in his opinion, help nothing. Still, it is often tempting to berate him for his flippant disregard of the battles so he does, which is, admittedly, not entirely unwarranted.

However, Deiphobus and Paris share a mutual, unspoken understanding that they simply cannot focus on the war at all times. Sometimes it must be set aside. This is more often true to Paris than to Deiphobus, but that invites Deiphobus to keep Paris’s company when he can no longer bear all the stress.

In turn, when Deiphobus approaches him like that, Paris can trust not to be reprimanded as he so often is, as that gets ignored along with the rest of it. So there are times during the war where the two can be found together affably, chatting about nothing important. Their personalities can still mesh in such moments.

And, well, it’s shocking how steady things can stay over nine years of war, but they do. Death and loss become far too familiar companions, but they can do nothing but keep fighting through that, and things proceed much as they have been.

Until, of course, Achilles.

With all the cruelty of fate, it of course follows after they get the closest to driving away the Achaeans as they ever have. Such a brief, amazing hope. In his unmatched fury, Achilles slaughters their soldiers, butchers many of his brothers, escapes Scamander’s rage through the grace of the gods, and drives the army behind Troy’s wall with his advance, except for-

Then-

Hektor is dead.

Deiphobus tastes blood in his throat screaming at the sight behind the chariot.

In a way, it’s a blessing that it takes twelve days to get Hektor’s body and another twelve to bury it. With his death, command of Troy and her allies has passed to Deiphobus, and he could barely lead his own horse after losing Hektor, much less an army.

Deiphobus falls to pieces. He can barely process it, losing the one he held in the highest regard, held every confidence in, believed in to his core. Hektor was the best of all of them and now he’s dead, leaving him shattered. Deiphobus is hysterical, wildly heartbroken.

In this time is when Priam first turns on his remaining sons. He lashes out at them as he prepares to ransom Hektor’s corpse, degrading them as the most worthless of his sons. Still half blind with tears of grief he can’t hold back, he thinks that it’s true in the same moment he thinks of how he will now have to take Hektor’s place, worthless ruin though he is.

Most often, Priam refrains from speaking of his remaining sons after that, and in rare, fleeting heartbeats he almost seems contrite over cursing them. Neither is enough though to keep him from savagely reproaching them in unpredictable instances as Troy continues to spiral towards its doom. Deiphobus shakily chokes down his father’s abuse without a word.

Of course, he returns to the battlefield once Hektor is buried, coming to truly learn the crushing weight of his new role. How did his brother bear this? Every day feels like one failure after another; he’s not strong enough, not smart enough to do this. He tries anyway, each day more taxing than the last.

Deiphobus can hardly bear Paris after Hektor’s death. A large part of him hates him for it, desperate to pin the blame on someone despite knowing deep down that he’s not responsible. Though, even then, part of him is drawn to Paris, broken same as him, shaped by a sort of desperation to grieve for their brother with him. Misery loves company.

His anger burns hotter, but now he can’t bring himself to berate him even in the way he did sometimes before all this. He never confronts him with his hatred, such that it is. He simply avoids Paris entirely, knowing that if he indulges in the impulse to curse him for what happened to Hektor, he would fall apart at the seams.

Even now he can’t face the truth of what happened and keep going. It is all he can do to try never to think about it.

And then, with the aid of Lord Apollo, Paris kills Achilles.

The undecided limbo of Deiphobus’s feelings towards Paris topples into something like affection the moment he hears of it, connecting them once more. Paris has destroyed Hektor’s murderer, avenging him, and that matters to Deiphobus more than anything else.

That night, the two of them drink together until it half kills them, close enough to keep knocking shoulders as they revile Achilles with the worst profanities they know. It’s the only celebration they can muster after everything, but they’re both laughing for the first time since they lost him.

(When the night grows damnably late, Deiphobus’s attempt to laugh turns into retching and Paris collapses to the ground when he tries to get up to help. They suffer the agonizing morning together.)

They make a strange pair from then on. Friendship would be a generous word given the still unavoidable tension between them, but they somehow manage to maneuver around that and share a certain closeness. They maintain it despite differences that grind against each other. Sad as it is, it’s one of the only things either of them have left.

Paris and Deiphobus also weather Priam’s spontaneous tirades together. Usually wordlessly, but there is something to be said for the company of someone enduring the same pain you are. It is a quiet solidarity, but a significant one.

They talk of the war far more often now. Every day it devours more and more of their lives, always harder and harder to ignore or set aside. On rare occasions, they do still manage it. Those conversations make for a breath of fresh air, though that does little to stave off the feeling of drowning.

And then Paris takes a poisoned arrow and dies.

Deiphobus doesn’t wail and sob in the same way he did for Hektor. He’s too numb for it now. It hurts in an unnatural, distant sort of way. All he can muster is a ugly, stilted feeling of shame for letting himself come to care for him in the first place. Of course he would die like the rest, he should know this by now. He crumbles further.

After Paris’s loss, there's only two reasonable options for what to do with Helen. Either they need to return her to Menelaus or arrange a new marriage and keep her in Troy.

Helen pleads to be returned to her first husband but Deiphobus competes with Helenus to be the one who weds her. Troy does not stop them. There is a quiet but tangible tension to the city and he doesn’t think their people would tolerate Helen departing. He competes with everything he has left and he wins. And they marry.

That first night, Helen stares at his back while sitting in her new place on his bed. She expected to be treated like a piece of meat, a feeling she's grown well used to through living her life under the eyes of men, but he's barely even looking at her. He fought for her hand with an undeniable, feral sort of desperation. What was it for if he doesn't even want her?

"Why?" she asks him. "Why bother going through every effort to marry me only to be so cold now? What do you want?" Her voice would cut razor sharp if only she wasn't so tired.

He turns to face her with bloodshot eyes narrowed in a glare, riddled with barely restrained anger and grief. "I'm not letting you leave," he forces out and Helen pushes down the urge to scoff because that much is obvious.

"It has to be worth something," he continues. "There has to be something we fought for. If we just let you go back, then it won't have been worth jack shit." He paces, not looking at her again. "I won't allow that. Don't think you can avoid all this so easily now that Paris is gone. There has to be a point. My brother is dead because of this shit! If you're gone, then what would be the fucking point?!"

His brother. He means Hektor. He means Paris. He means every last one of them, so many dead. He means Hektor.

Helen doesn't reply. There is nothing she can say to that. For all that it doesn't make a difference, what he's laid before her is something she knows well. She's spent so long now berating herself and blaming herself for all that's come to pass and she understands. She hates this, all she wants is to go home, but she understands him.

She knows that they both hate each other and themselves all in equal measure. What a wretched pair they make, Helen thinks.

Not that they make much of a pair at all. They're rarely ever together. Deiphobus camps outside whenever he can, and when he can’t, he goes out of his way to avoid her. Helen accepts it as the best she can expect from the truly miserable situation this has become. The war drags on, but the truth hangs in the air that Troy is losing.

Then the horse.

The people, starving so desperately for peace, bring it inside the walls. Deiphobus tries to be cautious. He tries to think of what Hektor would have done. He commands Helen to walk around the horse, calling out in the voices of the Achaeans' wives. If there's some wretched spy or invader, let them show themselves. He'll kill them.

No one answers. Deep down just as desperate for peace as them all, he breathes a sigh of relief and leaves the damn horse.

He hopes the Achaeans filled their mouths with blood, biting their tongues as hard as they must have.

Troy is burning. The Achaeans fill the streets with slaughter; they are everywhere. Reunited with her husband after so, so long, Helen tells Menelaus where Deiphobus is. And so, Deiphobus dies alongside Troy.

(Deiphobus and Hektor meet again in the Underworld and Deiphobus tries to apologize for his failure to keep Troy safe. Hektor will hear none of it, refusing any of the anger he has every right to put on him. Still, a long time passes where Deiphobus silently and anxiously wonders if that was a lie, if Hektor truly does hate him for what happened.

Hektor keeps throwing him tense, unsettled glances sometimes when he thinks he’s not looking, even though he never says a thing. Each one worms further and further underneath his skin and he starts to squirm under the conviction that he’s done something wrong. Something Hektor holds against him.

When it finally grows so unbearable that Deiphobus confronts him about it at last, Hektor flinches and doesn’t disguise his fear and upset. Deiphobus braces himself. But then, mangled in with confusing, ashamed apologies, Hektor recounts for the first time how he died.

Athena luring him to his death in Deiphobus’s shape, speaking in his voice. How he turned to face Achilles believing he had support. When he called for a spear from his brother, he was alone.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I think of it at all, I’m so sorry I let you believe I was angry with you because of it. I’m not, it had nothing to do with you, you shouldn’t have to know of it at all. I just- remember it sometimes. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

Deiphobus feels nauseous. Hektor looks even more so.

“If I had actually been there-”

“No! Don’t do this. Achilles would have just killed you too.”

“We wouldn’t have died alone, then.”

They clutch at each other, these battered remnants of their souls, carrying with them the wounds of their lives.)

[sgtjbbhasmyheart]

Drunk Texting Is(n’t) Bad for Your Health- Chapter Three

Series Summary: Talk about your unconventional meet-cute! Bucky receives a text by mistake requesting he prove he's not Reader's sister. The easy dialogue between Reader and Bucky sparks a natural friendship, but could it lead to more? Bucky still deems himself unworthy of any form of affection or love. Reader is hellbent to prove him wrong. With the help of some (meddling) friends along the way, Bucky may get his happily-ever-after after all.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 1740

Warnings: Nosy (and well-meaning) friends acting like nosy siblings, angst, bad language words

A/N: After I originally posted this chapter on AO3, I got some comments that exacerbated the beginnings of a year long depression. Please be kind. I intended this chapter to come across as the gang being like siblings...always being in each other’s business. Is there a breach of privacy? Yes, but without the ill-intent. 

DO NOT copy or replicate without permission

Bucky clutched his phone in his flesh hand as he made his way down a long hallway to the communal kitchen and eating area. A soft, crooked smile rested at his lips as he entered the space. Natasha and Sam were sitting at opposite ends of the rectangular table separating the kitchen from the lounge, enjoying a late breakfast. Steve was at a kitchen counter fiddling with the Keurig machine. He pulled another mug from the cupboard when he saw Bucky approach. “Mornin’, Buck. Sleep well?”

Bucky’s grin broadened as he leaned his backside against the countertop. “I did, actually. Thanks for asking,” he answered, looking to his phone at the incoming text.

(Y/N) Would you rather have skin that changes color based on your emotions or tattoos appear all over your body, depicting what you did the day before?

He missed the way Sam and Nat looked at each other in suspicion at his answer to Steve. He was too busy pressing the keys on his touch-screen.

Bucky The tattoos would be awkward, speaking from a male’s perspective, so I think color changing would be better. Not by much, though.

Bucky Would you rather have edible spaghetti hair that regrows every night or sweat maple syrup?

Bucky saw Steve slide the new mug, now filled with coffee, across the granite-top toward him from the corner of his eye. He glanced up quickly from the screen and nodded. “Thanks, buddy.” Steve answered with a smile.

“What, no grunted thanks or mumbled acknowledgment?” Natasha quipped, standing from her seat to place her plate in the dishwasher.

“Yeah, man. You have been using way too many words lately. I miss the grumpy dude that would brood in the corner,” Sam added, crossing his arms at his chest. “Are we even sure this is the right Bucky?”

Bucky’s phone vibrated again.

(Y/N) I love me some spaghetti! Can you imagine sweating sticky, gooey maple syrup during a humid New York summer?? Your clothes would be toast.

(Y/N) Mmmm, french toast.

Bucky chuckled at the reply, drawing the attention of three sets of eyes.

Sam wasn’t wrong; he wasn’t the same Bucky.

It had been five days since (Y/N)’s first drunken texts. Five days. He couldn’t believe so little time had passed. Somehow, (Y/N) had wiggled her way under his skin.

He had noticed after only a day or two; he was smiling more, less volatile. He felt lighter, happier. He wasn’t skulking about the compound like usual, trying to avoid the rest of the team. Some might go as far as to say he was friendlier than usual.

It felt good to have someone, a friend, learning about the real James Buchanan Barnes, for once, without the threat of The Soldier clouding their perception of him.

“You’re freaking me out, man. Straight outta Invasion of the Body Snatchers or some shit,” Sam declared, rising from his chair.

“Hold on, Sam,” Steve placated, lifting a hand to the advancing man. “I’m sure there’s a logical explanation to Bucky’s good mood lately.”

Bucky set his jaw in frustration, the muscles ticking. He wasn’t a Pod Person. He was just happy, for the first time in seventy-five years.

His phone went off again.

(Y/N) Would you rather sneeze once every hour, on the hour, or burp every time you saw an attractive girl?

A wide smile split his mouth as he scanned the screen.

Bucky Am I sneezing in my sleep or just when I’m awake?

When Bucky brought his gaze back up to his teammates, he noticed Natasha’s own eyes flick down to his phone. The slightest smirk curved the corner of her lips.

“It’s curious,” she said, a perfect eyebrow inched higher to her hairline. “All the people you text are in this room, yet, you haven’t been able to pull yourself away from your phone.” Her eye contact never wavered from Bucky’s face. “Don’t ya think that’s odd, fellas?”

“Natalia,” Bucky warned, his voice gruff. He knew she was fishing.

Sam laughed boisterously. “Yeah, I noticed that the other day. It’s glued to your hip nowadays.”

“It could be anyone from the team, guys,” Steve reasoned. “I bet it’s Tony.”

Bucky became increasingly agitated as the redhead slinked closer, passing his phone back and forth between his hands.

Natasha shook her head in the negative. “Nuh-uh,” she said, leaning against the counter directly beside Bucky. A hair’s breadth of space separated their shoulders from one another. Tipping back, with her elbows propped against the hard surface, she kicked her legs out casually and crossed her feet at the ankle. “Those two have barely said two words to each other since the good Sergeant here was welcomed back into the fold. It’s not Tony.”

“That still doesn’t prove anything,” Steve replied, taking a sip of his coffee.

“I bet it’s a girl,” Sam said in a sing-song voice. “But, where would Ice Man here meet a girl?”

Natasha smiled while looking at Sam as he stepped closer to the trio. “Let’s find out, shall we?” She nodded to Sam and, without batting an eye, lunged at Bucky.

She tapped the underside of the hand holding the phone, causing the device to flip up into the air.

Though he hadn’t seen the attack coming, Bucky’s reflexes were cat-like, and he easily caught the phone in his opposite hand.

Unfortunately, Natasha was just as quick and knocked the phone from his hand again. She effortlessly swatted it out of the air and into her hand. As Bucky clamored to retrieve the cell phone, she swung her arm behind her back and tossed it into the waiting hands of Sam.

By looking at Sam’s broad smile, Bucky knew he was having a field day at his expense. He pounced on his teammate, grappling for possession of the device. He wasn’t sorry for elbowing the other man harder than he ever would if they were sparring each other. He needed his fucking phone back!

Sam managed to flick the phone over his other shoulder in the process of Bucky grabbing ahold of Sam’s wrist and twisting the same arm behind his body. It clattered to the ground at Steve’s feet.

As everyone stared at the cell phone lying prone on the tile floor, Sam backed Bucky into the cabinets, trapping him with his body. “Let me go, Bird Brain!” Bucky huffed.

Steve bent to pick the phone up, holding it in his hand. Bucky could see the war playing within Steve’s blue eyes as he struggled against Sam. Steve was just as curious as the other two but didn’t want to betray his friend.

Natasha quickly snatched the device from Steve and started thumbing at the screen.

“Maybe we shouldn’t,” Steve protested.

“Didn’t anyone ever tell you to put a passcode on your phone, Barnes?” Natasha tsked as she navigated to the messaging app.

Bucky knew the exact second she found what she was looking for because her eyes became comically wide. A feral, shit-eating grin crossed her mouth as she raised a brow again.

“Tell me about (Y/N).”

“What?” Steve questioned, crowding the red head. “Lemme see.”

Bucky felt his cheeks go aflame as Natasha angled the screen so Steve could see the message thread. They burned hotter as Steve looked up with his own shit-eating smirk.

“Well, well…” Sam piped up. “If your faces are anything to go by, Vanilla Ice’s still got game.” Bucky twisted his arm back further in retaliation causing Sam to grunt in discomfort.

Bucky watched as Natasha’s thumb skimmed along the screen to delve deeper into past messages. Her thumb stopped as she read a passage; her green eyes rapidly followed the lines of text.

“I always kinda figured you’d be into someone that would call you out on your BS. She sounds fun,” Natasha said as she continued to scroll.

“No one’s into anyone. We’re just friends,” Bucky murmured.

Steve’s head shot up to stare at his best friend, sorrow painting his features. He edged away from Natasha. “Does she know who you are?” he asked.

Bucky shook his head no. “And she never will.”

“Aww, but you guys sound so cute together,” Natasha pouted. Bucky frowned at the insinuation. It couldn’t ever happen.

“There aren’t any rules saying we can’t date,” Natasha mentioned. “Hell, you know how many times I tried to set up this big lug?” She motioned to Steve with her thumb.

“That’s different,” Bucky said after a few moments. He eased up slightly on Sam’s arm.

“How so?”

Bucky rubbed a hand across the back of his neck, the blush starting again. “He’s Captain America, and well, I’m not. Not exactly everyone’s favorite.” He downcast his eyes to the floor.

“Buck, you know that’s not true,” Steve said woefully. “It’ll just take some time.”

“I know, Stevie. Until then, though, I’m still a pariah.”

The super soldier serum couldn’t have been given to a better person, but Bucky always felt like he would be trapped in Steve’s shadow, no matter the amount of good he did. He would still feel weak for what Hydra did to him, or not good enough to be labeled Captain America’s best friend.

Feeling the room take a considerable turn toward somber, Natasha called out, “Holy shit, Barnes! You used Wilson’s toothbrush to clean your toilet?”

“What?!” all three male voices cried out.

Sam rushed forward, trying to see the proof for himself. “You’re a dead man!”

Freed from the weight of Sam’s body, Bucky leaped forward toward Natasha and Sam. Slamming into Sam’s back, he snaked an arm around the other man, reaching frantically for his phone. He was done with them spying on his non-existent personal life.

Bucky smacked against Sam’s hands and arms, trying to dislodge the device.

“Stop!” Sam bellowed. “You’re hitting me like an eleven-year-old girl!”

“Gimme back my phone!” Bucky shouted.

Suddenly, the sound of ringing filled the small space of the kitchen. The scuffling stopped in an instant as everyone tried to figure out where the noise was coming from. Sam glimpsed down at his hands and jumped apart from Bucky as if he’d been burned. He looked horrified!

“Oh, shit!” Sam exclaimed, shoving the phone back at Bucky.

“What did you do?!” Bucky screeched when he realized the ringing was coming from his phone on speaker.

The sound ended abruptly, only to be replaced with the gentle tinkle of a woman’s voice.

“James?”

Chapter Two | Chapter Four

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[blackcatanna]

Tale of the Demon Arms of Horniness Part ??? IDFK it's been a month and I am sick of Iba and Chizuru's SHIT just kiss already or leave each other alone

Last time I played this, I remember getting drunkish and spending a long-ass time ranting at the weird purity complex that this route seems to have but now I don't have any alcohol to numb that pain so I'm going to maybe read more, rant less because I am ONLY ON CHAPTER THREE and I am so done already. I remember parts of this route being fucked up but I didn't remember how much of it was just plain boring. Now that Sen is here and Iba is injured with silver bullets, I'm not looking forward to ANOTHER stretch of Iba and Chizuru being cooped up in a house together doing nothing but being awkward and refusing to agknowledge their feelings.

Also, I am writing this on my laptop for once, so I might fuck some stuff up. Let's goooo...

Okay, ushering these two incredibly hot women into the Repression Den. I feel like a Sen or Kimigiku route would have been so much more fun than this... Although, do I trust the devs to not cock it up?

"Iba's piety showed" yeah, he's such a fucking saint, we get it, SHEESH.

"Iba, there are only two men against whom your power must be used: Takeda and Kodo." YUP.

"I ask that you take her along with you." YES. PLEASE. FUCK. TAKE ME AWAY FROM THIS NONSENSE TO LESBIAN DEMON PARADISE.

"I suppose, like I had feared, my welcome with Iba had been overstayed, and I kept my mouth shut." THE COMMUNICATION IS NON EXISTENT.

Fuck, I'm about a minute in and already pissed off >_<

Omg, he's having to explain the horniness to Sen XD Omfg! I hope she tells them to get over it and fuck already!

"Not only am I appalled by their single-mindedness, but also their disrespect towards women of our kind." Oooh, snap! Sen is coming for Kazama and Takeda on this day. But why aren't Iba, Takeda and Kazama horny for Sen and Kimigiku?

"Sen, do you have any idea what kind of changes are happening within Iba and Takeda's bodies right now...?" Omfg, Sen is about to give us the Demon Puberty Talk. X_X

"A human's force of will pales in comparison to a Demon's," I feel like this a concept that is 100% not supported by the rest of the game. Like... BITCH, WHERE???

Omfg, the game is really trying to explain why Sen and Kiku aren't affected, "must clearly take root in feelings that already exist." AS IF Takeda looked at Chizuru for a second with lust in his heart. I refuse to believe! Maybe he was turned on when she tried to stab him. That wasn't meant to sound euphemistic.

Oh, OH, omfg. So, she's saying that TAKEDA'S horniness is a DIRECT RESULT of him being linked to IBA via the demon arms XD Ffs. This just gets stupider and stupider.

There's so much exposition in this route (and Sen is the lucky bitch in charge of giving a lot of it) in an attempt to justify this batshit insane plot. Like... JUST LET SEN BE A CHARACTER, NOT AN EXPOSITION MACHINE/ DEUS EX MACHINA.

WOW, Sen really came and said, "Why are all you dudes so insistent on fighting a losing battle?" and I kind of agree with her... Like, the only reason Iba is citing is "loyalty" but none of them in the route's I've played so far explain why they are so loyal to the Shogun specifically... I feel like being loyal and noble and blah blah is great and all except they're literally killing people and destroying lives... Is it just for the sake of their pride? PEOPLE ARE DYING KIM IBA. I feel like this would make so much more sense if we got more of their backstories, especially characters like Souma and Iba who were added later. They feel woefully underdeveloped. I feel like there IS more to it but I feel like by the point they wrote these routes, we were just expected to accept that SHINSENGUMI SHINY AND GOOD, EVERYONE ELSE STINKY AND BAD AND DESERVES TO DIE.

"Those who would abandon their cause and their people in times of strife aren't warriors in my eyes." Maybe their cause is different to yours, Iba. Also, what even is your cause? Seriously, what is it?

"Wathcing Iba wax poetic about his duty was truly awe-inspiring," UGH -_-

"In life and in war, victory isn't all that matters. What matters is preserving what we deem precious." YES BITCH. Sen is one of the only sane people in this game, omg.

"How are you so obtuse not to understand that women are capable of bearing the same burden...?" YES SEN. GET HIS ASS. EVISCERATE HIM!

"she has dedicated her life to you," well... hang on...

"I decided to express my honest feelings." FUCKING FINALLY, HOLY SHIT X_X

"although I'd wanted to shout affirmatively, I feared that doing so would only hurt him more. My answer was timid but resolute." because she's the perfect, uwu delicate maiden. She must not hurt the man with her aggressive expressions! Ladies, take notes! This is the epitome of femininity! Note how long she held back her vulgar, hysterical emotions, lest they impose upon the tranquility of her man.

"As long as I'm with you... I don't care what happens to me." Hmm. Is this healthy?

"am I merely at the mercy of your pity?" FUCK RIGHT OFF, IBA. Actually, it is probably healthy for him to express this now rather than letting it fester. But I feel like every time he says some self deprecating shit like this, Chizuru does nothing to encourage him, and vice versa. Hopefully, it'll be different this time...

"It's because... I love you, Iba." HOORAY, CHEERS, CONFETTI, CAKE! FUCKING FINALLY!

"Suddenly, Iba jolted as if he were struck by a bolt of lightning, and his eyes illuminated with light." XD What is this beauty and the beast shit? Is he about to transform into a hideous monster and Chizuru has to reaffirm her love or he eats her?

"I am... undeserving of your love." well, you have it so suck it up. If you don't feel the same, that's fine but if you do, stop bitching.

"I committed myself to my training, hoping that, in the process, I would become worthy of your love." Wow... WOW. Okay, lot to unpack here... Firstly, that's INSANE. Like, dangerously obsessive. Secondly, she was a TINY CHILD, even younger than Iba. Thirdly, WHAT DO YOU EVEN LOVE ABOUT HER, IBA??? LIKE, SERIOUSLY, WHAT??? Fourthly, no woman EVER wants the object of her affection to spend a huge amount of time AWAY from her in order for him to become more "worthy" of her love. If she's ever gonna love you back, she wants you to stay and be with her! No amount of fancy sword play is gonna convince her to love you after you haven't interacted in years. At that point, you're in danger of falling for a sunk cost fallacy because you HAVE to maintain your affection for this woman, even though she may very well have grown into a completely different person from the LITERAL CHILD you knew her as. This is WEIRD. AH.

"...even if you had already chosen another suitor in my stead." O_e

"It is drawn to you in a way that is unlike how I'd felt about you as a young boy." .... I smell this game's weird purity complex rearing its head again... Gross. Surely no one wants to be loved like a young boy loves a little girl, right? Is this weird? Like, people grow up and go through puberty and are horny sometimes. That's okay! Seriously! Obviously, having a second entity living in your head must be AWFUL and traumatic, invasive, all the bad things but there's not just "pure and innocent like a child" and "horny rape monster" ... there is a middle ground!

Like, I KNOW that the story in this game involves Iba and Chizuru resolving their weird puritanical hangups about love and sex and whatever so maybe the game itself is not pushing the "purity is good" angle at me but I came here to keyboard smash at 2D anime sprites and I shall continue to do so as long as they continue to say stupid things.

"If this keeps up, I'm afraid that it would conquer my true feelings for you, and that the difference would escape you entirely." tbf, that is a legitimate concern that I understand.

"Iba's eyelids trembled to the beat of his anguish." XD I'm sorry, fucking WHAT WAS THAT??? XD

"my love for you isn't dependent on whether or not you're fit yo protect me." You tell him, queen.

"I fell in love with you because of the sunshine in your eyes. That kindness, that laugh..." This is legit. I hoppe that Iba responds in kind or I shall remain baffled!

"My heart is yours to keep. That's a promise." Awe :D :D Chizuru is being a sweet li'l bean!

SMOOCHIN'!?!?! IN THIS GOOD CHRISTIAN HOUSEHOLD??? Omfg, this game loves to use the word "supple" to describe a character's lips. Everyone has supple lips and slender fingers, apparently. I was very squicked out just now playing through Souma's bad endings and the narration describing the "supple lips" of Souma's literal corpse after he was run through by Miki. Like, wtf??!?

Iba still hasn't given any indication about what he likes about Chizuru, other than, I guess, her vulnerability... which, uh, okay... I may be wrong, though. I get that she's supposed to be a stand in for the player, so she doesn't get to have too many personality traits but I liked the bit in Saito's route where he looks into her eyes and comments on how honest she is.

This scene is cute, though :D YUS, SMOOCH >:)

"we were beginning to question if it could ever happen." HONESTLY, SAME. Thank fucking god...

"Then, something peculiar occurred.." Oh no, is this gonna be weird arm shit X_X

THE VOICES HAVE BEEN APPEASED.

I don't know who the biggest shipper is in this fucking route: Sen, Motoyama, Hijikata or Iba's Demonic appendage...

"Could you please summon Sen and Kimigiku?" XD Iba wants to conduct a post-makeout breakdown with his bestest girlfriends!

"Iba began recounting what had happened with boundless enthusiasm." XD This is AWKWARD (but cute)

"Interesting..." XD I love you, Sen

"The force of your emotional resolve has earned the respect of the Demon soul" XD omfg, until now, was it just screaming, "OMFG, YOU PUSSY! YOU WANT HER, STOP BEING SUCH A DRIP ABOUT IT. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. DO BETTER." WAIT... That sounds like me...

"What?! Don't mock me!" XD Chizuru, this is why you literally have no friends. Well, until recently...

"Hm, he's really taking his time." IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO MOTOYAMA, I AM GOING TO BE VERY UPSET >:(

Here comes the boy-ooooy!

"It's unfortunate that we've given you men's attire," I too wish that Chizuru could play dress-up more often. Although, I always find looking at her character sprite jarring because of how absurdly big her eyes are. She looks like a goddamn child or a character from a different game... (or a porg...)

"We're friends, after all." I guess but it feels quite lopsided...

CHAPTER 4 BABY!!! FINALLY.

RIP The Shinsengumi: In which our heroine gets used as a meat shield!

"Hey! Y'know, if you were alive this whole time, you coulda sent us a letter or somethin'!" omfg Chizuru, you are THE WORST XD Again, why you have no fucking friends!

Bless Nomura, he seems really upset XD Chizuru and Iba are kind of thoughtless, huh...

It's especially sad given that he's about to DIE HORRIBLY :'(

Omg, Iba's voice when he sees Hijikata XD I feel like if he hadn't made that stupid vow to himself about Chizuru as a child, he would have realised his strong feelings for Hijikata. YOU KNOW WHAT, I SHIP IT. I GENERALLY DON'T PARTAKE IN SHIPPING BUT I WILL MAKE AN EXCEPTION THIS ONE TIME. After putting up with him and Chizuru for hours and then seeing him with Hijikata, I am SWAYED.

Otori looks like a child too... He looks like a gentleman detective in a point and click game and Enomoto looks like his butler.

"President...? That's a rather important position, isn't it?" I know that Chizuru knows shit all about politics (despite being embedded in the Shinsengumi for so long) but does she have to sound stupid every time she opens her mouth? I know that Queen Sensposition isn't here to explain everything for us, so I guess someone needs to prompt the exposition train to get going... I just feel like she's so child like... I do not like... Maybe I am getting ooooold (I'm 25)

"Say, I haven't seen Kondou, Saito, or Okita anywhere..." ... The stupidity intensifies... If she actually gave a fuck, she could have written to the Shinsengumi at any point... But it's all IBA IBA IBA...

She didn't mention Harada or Nagakura but bless Hijikata for imagining that she cares. I just... I feel like Chizuru is one of those people who declares herself SUCH and empath but never makes any effort to look out for the people she professes to feel for.

Iba, why are you comforting Chizuru? Didn't you know these guys growing up? Tbf, he didn't write to them either...

Chizuru third wheeling in on Hijikata and Iba's moment "alone" -_-

"Who's after her...? Is it Kazama or Amagiri?" XD How dare you slander Amagiri like this? Also, clearly even Hijikata gets gay vibes from Shiranui.

"In truth, this is a little hard to believe," RIGHT?!? Hijikata knows that this plot is far-fetched bullshit.

"He craves offspring." XD Wow, what an unbelievably offputting way of explaining that, thank you. Also, you neglected to mention that the reason he's after Yukimura is because of your own desires, Iba XD

"I guess if Yukimura's not whining about it in usual form then you're probably right." XD Exqueeze me, Hijikata?!?! How dare! Is he wrong, though? I feel like Yukimura isn't a whiner in general but when she does, it's about stupid stuff to do with her own maidenly modesty and shit.

Is Iba gonna defend her... I guess not! To be fair, she did her fair share of whining about not being good enough for Iba, not wanting to be a burden, blah blah blah.

"it's a load off my back because now I can't order you to your death." bless Hiji-mama.

"Just do me a favour and take all of this in. Hold onto our memories if you can. I want everyone to remember how we lived." :'( Hijikata, you're gonna make me cry, oh my god D:

"Fury powers are nothing to fuck with," XD Hijikata, I have dearly missed you!

Just casually dropping in that Heisuke and Sanan died, not that Chizuru or Iba ever asked...

"Heeeey! Hijikata, Iba! Just how long you guys gonna chat for?!" DAMMIT, NOMURA! Let the manly compassion blossom! Chizuru, you gtfo too! Distract everyone!

MOTOYAMA PLEASE GO EASY ON THE SAKE

"Always with the Sake around here." I guess that's one way of coping with your inevitable demise :( I hope that they are having some fun! :D

"I mean, who knows how long we've got." :) :) :,) :,(

"Have you ever drunk whisky before, Iba...?" NGL, I REALLY want to see Iba DRUNK. ANYTHING to make him loosen up a little.

"Care to try some, Chizuru?" YUS >:D

"Don't be an idiot, Nomura. Can't you read context clues...?" Souma, you are definitely asking too much of this boy. Although, both of you idiots thought that Chizuru was a MAN for WAY, WAAAAAYY too long...

"Souma, you waste your time." XD I love how Otori is always keen to join in the roasting! At least he isn't meowing this time, nya!

"It may take Nomura another ten years before he begins to comprehend the nuances of romance, and another ten afterwards until he can use them." WOW. Jesus. Poor guy's gonna be dead soon and you just came for him so hard! Maybe he's ace! Maybe he's gay!

"I s'pose his simplicity just ads to his charm." XD That's sweet, Shimada. Poor Nomura... Tbf, I have seen people asking for routes for Takeda and Miki, Kimigiku and Sen and Shiranui and Amagiri but never anyone asking for routes for Nomura and Motoyama...

"Hey, are you guys makin' fun of me!" X_X

OoooOOh! Iba and Chizuru are sneaking off alone...

"If I'm not mistaken, your room is... here, I think?" Uh-huh... :) "Looks like it. I think your room is to the left of mine, and mine is right here." Uh-huuuuuh! :) :) "Pretty convenient, huh...?" Uh-HUUUH >:D >:D >:D "So... they're right next to each other, eh...?" OMFG XD come ON!

"Say, Chizuru... May I invite you to chat in my room for a bit...?" Uwu! Ye olde Netflix and chill ;)

C'mon, girl! Climb him like a tree!

This session has actually been more enjoyable than the previous ones, now that the weird repression and horny demon arm stuff has stopped being so prominent...

"Huh? As in..." Oh, we have all seen Mama Mia! We know what DOT, DOT, DOT means ;)

"For a split second, I wondered if there were ulterior motives in his invitation, and I froze up." Uh... I don't know what to tell you, girl... I also don't entirely know what you mean by "ulterior motives" girl, you can stop at any time or back out, it's okay. You do not have to fuck him. You can have a nice, cosy time.

Oh no, she's actually having flashbacks to him on top of her D: TRAUMA! GET THIS GIRL TO A THERAPIST! D: Poor Chizuru :(

"my back dimples tensed." XD Uh, what?

"So, we're just going to talk, right...?" YES GIRL, ESTABLISH BOUNDARIES! CONSENT IS SEXY AF! Make SURE that you're both on the same page! Of coyrse, he should NEVER assume that you're dtf just because you agree to chill with him but a girl's gotta be careful and it's very telling how someone reacts to that question. If they get defensive, RUN!

"Yes, I promise... As long as my sanity holds, at least." IBA XD That is not encouraging. Well, it is in that it's very honest. Bless him for that.

"I couldn't discern whether or not Iba was being truthful, and I felt a little uneasy in his company." Daaaamn, Chizuru! You're so valid! I feel like they have some serious issues to work through in their relationship. If you don't believe someone when they say that they won't rape you (because that's what it is, let's be real), the two of you definitely need to build trust, definitely take things slow.

"I, too, have had intimate thoughts about you..." Uwu. Good, liking this. He's being open about his feelings, not trying to hide them to spring them on her later when she's in his room like so many manchildren do.

"Especially now... I must admit, I am somewhat inebriated." XD Girl, run! Unless, you're confident you want to hit that, say goodnight!

"I cannot" or "You are all I care about." Ah yes, the old "To fuck or not to fuck" :) Let's try both! Not to fuck first... (side note: does anyone else feel like they can't fuck someone until they've rejected their sexual advances at least once to see how they'll react? Like, otherwise, I'd be wondering the whole time how they'd react if I didn't give them what they want. Is that fucked up?) Let's see how Iba reacts...

"I really like you, Iba. I do, but..." Omg, "like"?!?! what happened to "love"?????

"...I'm only kidding." BITCH, YOU WERE NOT! I SEE YOU LIEING TO ME. HMMMMMM. CONCERN >:(

"Your feelings take precedence above anything, so I shall honor your wish." Okey dokey! This is what I like to hear! NOW we can fuck >:D

Chizuru is SHOOK that he accepted her response and, tbf, he does seem a bit pouty for my liking.

WAIT, WHAT?!?!? HOW DID THIS HAPPEN??? "We were bundled next to each other, wrapped up in our cotton sheets in one bed." ????

Wait, not only did they somehow end up in bed together, now Chizuru's sitting here thinking about dead people to punish me for chosing the non-horny option XD

Oh wait, we still get the cute, cuddly cg! I still cannot fathom how we ended up in bed together XD Is it going to be exactly the same if I click the horny option...?

"My heart galloped like a stallion in my chest." XD Okay...

"You're trembling. How precocious of you." The fuck does that mean?

"I mean, this is my first time." Time for The Sex, y'all...

"I won't rush you." the four sexiest words in the English language! To be clear, I am not being sarcastic. Consent is sexy :D It frees us!

"His cool, calm demeanor was so coaxing..." Go get that ass, Chizuru!

Ah yes, montage of sadness! "Are you thinking of your friends right now?" BITCH, I THOUGHT THEY WERE YOUR FRIENDS, TOO! Or do you only have eyes for Hijikata?

Chizuru, ffs, your feelings are valid. Stop saying you have "no right" to feel this or that. It's stupid.

"I felt like a little girl again, and I felt gratified by his supple, ambrosial kiss." Uh... Okay...

"You never have to apologize for crying." YES, TELL HER, IBA >:D

"I accept you, all of you, and this will never change." But can you tell me who she is, though, babes?

"Iba's upbringing was well-represented by his regal demeanor, and I couldn't help but blush." XD Girl, control yourself.

"A naive part of me believed that we could neglect the concerns of the outside world," naive indeed X_X How could you think this? There's a war on. Sorry, I'll leave the poor girl alone.

"Swagger bellowed from Iba's stern voice, almost as if he were convincing me to fight Takeda myself." XD Now, THAT I would love to see! Remember how well it went last time? Tbf, Chizuru wasn't killed and it was very funny!

"his tender lips wrapped around my cut." Omfg, the writers found a thesaurus!

"I had to halt the urge to laugh as his longue flicked droplets of blood, as it tickled me." XD Chizuru, laugh away! It might help assuage his pointless guilt!

"I am thrilled to savor the taste of your blood, and no one else's." O_O Okay, that's... a lot! But I'm calling that positive character growth! I guess it's a kink thing now! I can absolutely get behind that! This is a kink positive space!

"There was a keen pleasure to be taken in being Iba's sole proprietor of blood, and as long as he had use of me, I was his for the taking." And the intensity gets dialed up even more, holy cow! As I said, kink positive space! I feel like there's a lot of kink in this game, ngl...

"Nomura was a lively and curious sole" everyone in this game is a cat

"For those with severe lacerations, or dismembered limbs, we were ordered essentially to offer comfort in their final moments, which was a depressing task." War... war never changes... Good for you guys, though!

"If I were an outsider to their organization, I would have thought it foolish--suicidal, even." I see you calling my shit out, Chizuru!

"To tell you the truth, I've been wondering for years... why men fought unwinnable wars." I feel like, for me, it's not that it's unwinnable that's confusing to me. It's more why this is the cause they have chosen to die for. Interestingly, I feel like it's personal for each character, even though they're fighting under the same banner. Maybe I'll get more of the bigger picture if I play Hijikata's route and watch the anime prequel with Ibuki.

That being said, when I did GCSE Religious Studies (XD), we were taught that a "just war" is one where there is a reasonable chance of success... but that's very hard to establish because you never know what alliances can potentially be formed with more powerful factions... idk this is more than I signed up for in this VN XD I love it, though!

"They are imbued with purpose beyond their own fragile existence. We have reason to honor them." See, I get where he's coming from. BUT I feel like there's a problem here and that's the glorification of warriors in this game. I feel like... a lot of important things come secondary to their ideal of bushidou. Like, precious human life. A lot of killing goes on. Killing of faceless men who we're encouraged to hate or think of as sword/plot fodder. It's like what Sen says to Iba about how stupid he must be to not realise that women can also have strong resolve. The people who are collateral damage in this war also probably had their own purpose, their own goals. Why do some people defect to the winning side? Perhaps their goals aren't politically aligned and rely on them staying alive to complete them. I feel like there's a lack of respect for those people from certain characters (Souma, Iba, I am squinting at you).

"In that way, they are samurai more than bakushin could ever be." NOW, I feel like, as a samurai, you have a certain level of responsibility to your people and, often, (not always) that might mean not sending them off to die... The freedom to die for the cause you choose is something I would associate with ronin (which is, apparently, a dirty word in this game).

"he waxed poetic" AGAIN. THIS is my problem with Iba and Souma. They talk a lot about ideals and honour and bushidou and not enough about their own personal drives. All these pretty words are not enough to justify taking all of the lives they have done. Please tell me more about what you, YOU fight for, less about what you believe a warrior SHOULD fight for.

MOTOYAMA NOOOOOO

I mean, obviously, HIJIKATA NOOOOOO but I knew he would die whereas I had forgotten about our Moon Boy, Motoyama. :(

Awe, poor Iba :( He is so sad D,:

AN UNSETTLING MAN, YOU SAY???? >:D

FEASTING ON BLOOD, YOU SAY 8D

"Let's go" FUCK YEAH >:D

Wow, Iba intimidation checked the fuck out of that soldier! :O

OOOOOH! SPOOKY MUSIC! Last time I heard this was when Souma and Nomura left Chizuru to get kidnapped and brought to her gross dad...

TAKEDA! Eating people as usual, I hope?

"A sloppy mess of blood coated Takeda's lips and cheeks, and he slurred his words like a drunkard" Yaaaay! :D Why is Takeda so fucked up XD I love him and his terrible life choices

OMFG I JUST SAT AND CACKLED FOR, LIKE, 30 SECONDS. "He dropped a half-eaten arm to the ground, which hit the floor with a dull, sickening thud." MY DUDE. WOW. Like, I feel like he didn't need to go that hard. All the Rasetsu drink a little blood but this guy was fully munching on some poor dude's arm. THIS IS WHAT I MEAN WHEN I TALK ABOUT TAKEDA EATING PEOPLE. NOT LIKE THE OTHER RASETSU DO. FOR SOME REASON, HIM AND HIS SQUAD ARE FULL-ON CHOMPERS. IT'S FUCKED UP AND I AM OBSESSED. It's definitely not sexy and I love that.

"At Takeda's feet was a gruesome array of scattered remains," DISSAPPOINTED that they elected not to insert the word "buffet" here... or SMORGASBORD!

"he was off, gathering fresh prey for me" Takeda has made Kodo his cannibal chef. LOVE THAT FOR HIM.

"Saito found him and gutted that senile fuck." YES SAITO!!! COME THROOOUGH!!! LOVE THAT FOR YOU, YAASS QUEEN. Also, love that Takeda refers to Kodo as a "senile fuck." bit ageist but Kodo is definitely a "fuck".

"Father had been... murdered by Saito." WOAH BITCH, CALM DOWN. I feel like killing some creepy dude on the opposing side in a war rounding up victims to be feasted upon is not a "murder".

"And, so long as a precious morsel like you exists, the possibility of creating offspring does as well." ... Does Takeda not know how heterosexual sex works??? Is he going to EAT US???

"I grow tired of hearing your meager attempts at heroism buzz in my ear." Honestly, same (sorry, Iba)

"Show me how 'different' you are then, bastard." Iba claims he is not like other girls, Takeda is intrigued...

I feel like Takeda pulls off the red eyes and white hair look better than Iba (sorry again, babes)

"an ominous, toxic miasma floated inches from the surface of his skin, making it so that I couldn't stand to stare at him for long." Oooh! Neato! This route could've been so much better if there was more of this horriffic shit! Less Chizuru and Iba sitting in a house together being repressed and awkward, more body horror >:D

Takeda opens with an excellent villain laugh, automatically scoring him additional points!

Na...ni? THAT'S RIGHT, BITCH! IBA HAS THE POWERS OF LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP ON HIS SIDE NOW >:D

"This is inconceivable!" alright, guy from The Princess Bride! Tbf, how the fuck is Iba suddenly able to keep up with him? He (Iba) seemed so confident, too... Has he been snacking on the side? Is Chizuru's blood strengthening him? It would be HILARIOUS if their strength was shared between the two arms, much like horny daydreams are...

CAN I JUST SAY, I LOVE the nails that these two queens are sporting on their demon hands! I feel like Iba could have used his during the blood drinking scenes like Lady Gaga does in AHS...

"Y-You were born with a silver spoon in your mouth! H-How could you possibly w-win?!" Maybe those two things are related. Takeda weakened himself by toiling in the fields to pay off his student loans and also pay rent.

"As of now, I am just a man. A man of purpose." ... Is this all the explanation we're gonna get???

"Besides, what's status to you anyway? Don't you think you are a little obsessed?" OMFG IBA XD IBA IS CANCELLED, EVERYONE! Check your privilege, slut! How the fuck would you know what it's like to be born without the advantages you have? To have to constantly fight for everything you want, or even need to survive?

"The Demon's arm has chosen its victor, and it knows that I am who's destined to protect her." D: Omg, that actually makes sense but also, idk... It makes me feel bad for Takeda (YES, THE GUY WHO STILL HAS VISCERA FROM THE ARM HE WAS JUST CHOMPING ON SMEARED ALL OVER HIS FACE. DON'T JUDGE ME, OKAY). Like, he was abandoned (murdered, historically) by the Shinsengumi, rejected by Itou and now even this freaky demonic arm is rejecting him, despite all of the delicious, nutritious blood he has been feeding it. :( AND ALL OF IT IS 100% JUSTIFIED. HE IS FULLY AN ASSHOLE WHO SHOULD BE STOPPED. I still feel kind of bad, though XD

"He began cackling,i and went into a series of taunts." YAS, VILLAIN, GO OFF! This is what I came to SEE!! 8D

Hey, where's the blood on his face :( I get why they didn't add it to his sprite but I feel like they could've in this cg :(

"Aw, what's wrong, Hachiro Iba?! You'll have to stab the both of us at the same time, won't you?!" BOLD of Takeda to assume that this will be a problem for these two demonic babies!

OMFG OMFG YES, "Takeda wielded me like a meat shield," !!!!!! BEST LINE IN THIS GAME, HANDS DOWN. TAKEDA. WIELDED. ME. LIKE. A. MEAT. SHIELD. THIS IS PEAK NARRATION AND I AM SO HERE FOR IT.

"Gah! Let go of me!" The fuck does anyone ever think this will accomplish?

"Ha! You think me stupid, girl?" that's a generous interpretation...

This is almost a smart move from Takeda but I feel like he underestimated just how unappealing the prospect of a life with him is to Chizuru... Like, he understandably did not anticipate her response of, "Fuck it, just stab him THROUGH me..."

"Iba! Iba, I'm fine! Just stab through me and Takeda!" XD

"You don't have the guts to do it!" XD You might think so AND YET...

"And then everything went black" ROLL CREDITS... LITERALLY, THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS XD These bitches want me to think I got a bad ending (does Chizuru die if I don't choose to fuck him?)

OMFG I ACTUALLY FINISHED THIS! JUST THE EPILOGUE AND BAD ENDINGS TO GO!

Final Chapter: It's a Girl! In which our heroine is NOT DEAD and also finally gets to wear her preferred clothing style again!

You know, when I see this lovely shade of blue smattered across the sky, I'm reminded of something. Do you want to guess what it is...?" :O Could it be... a Shinsengumi uniform? Also, this is giving me Kingdom Hearts vibes for some reason... Probably all the blue and tranquility juxtaposed with some fucked up chaos...

Omfg, XD, why does he look so SHOOK that she's opening her eyes... Wait, is this the first time since he STABBED her almost to death?

"Wh-Where are we?" HELL! My sword got stuck in your hefty demon spine and Takeda stabbed me while I was trying to yank it out >:D

HE TRIMMED HIS NAILS!!!! Oh no. I am NOT here for this! They're still long and red but I feel like he should have grown the nails on his other hand more, to match! :D And PAINTED THEM :D

This meadow is very Howl's Moving Castle...

"Wh-Where's Takeda...?" AND HE'S HERE TOO! He choked on a finger bone and came down here to join us! We're best buds now :) ... I am aware that this is not funny. Can you imagine, though, if Takeda just popped out from behind a bush, like, "Hey girl! Don't worry! I'm good now! AND I have been keeping your bf company ^_^ ;)"

"No one is left to stand in our way." ... Iba, has the demon arm been giving you world domination-y thoughts?

"Would you mind not calling me 'Iba'? Now that we're lovers, and all." and also since you, apparently, renounced that name and the responsibilities that come along with it, due to possession of the demon arm... Whenever I read through Japanese history and see how many name changes people go through, I can't believe how intolerant people are of people changing their names these days... (It's usually because of transphobia, I guess... DO BETTER)

"our boundaries were now entirely gone." Uh... Did the stabbing do that or did you go through some sleep thereapy?

"When we were children, this is what I had called him," GOD, they really love hammering the innocent childhood love bullshit home, don't they?

"Hachi...ro..." "Well done..." o_e HMMM... THIS IS MAKING ME A WEE BIT UNCOMFY. WHY IS HE TALKING TO HER LIKE SHE IS A CHILD?

"Just you and me." HMM... Seems a bit unhealthy... Both of them need to get some FRIENDS! Doesn't Iba have a family? What about the surviving Shinsengumi boys?

"Every whim you desire, I shall cater to you." Come through, love butler!

PHEW!

ALRIGHTY! Now for the fun stuff! I will make a seperate post, I think! HOLY FUCK, IT IS COMPLETE! I mostly remembered the fucked up bits from this route like Takeda chomping on limbs and Iba's freaky horny outbursts but I feel like those were the best bits... I can't wait to play through the bad endings because I haven't got any of them yet, I don't think 3:)

[noonmutter]

Introductions

Daily Writing Challenge 2021 Day 12: Ball/Gravestone

"It's gonna be a quiet meetin'. They're not...th' most talkative people, these days."

"No, I know, love, of course. I absolutely still want to do this. You're so brave for this and I'm so proud of you."

Leon couldn't hold in a chuckle at that. Valarin's open, whole-hearted support of him for what was, admittedly, a trip that Leon had made dozens of times by now was all but impossible to ignore. The reassurance wasn’t necessary, but he wasn’t about to ruin Val’s fun. He simply set a hand on his wee love's shoulder to momentarily silence him, and bent to kiss his forehead.

"Thank you, love. It's okay. I'm not gonna collapse, it's just...a li'l tense, sometimes. Bringin' somebody new..." He let himself trail off as he inspected the kit they'd brought with them. Valarin had brought the supplies for their lunch, and he'd brought a bag of gardening tools, along with a couple bouquets of marigolds at Val's insistence. Asking about the marigolds had opened up the floodgates, not that he minded; listening to Valarin get himself going about something he was passionate about was one of Leon’s favorite things.

"The marigolds are traditionally very important! You see, the land of the living can be confusing and difficult to navigate for spirits. We try to help them by providing strong sensory things to guide them. The marigolds have a strong smell, but I think their color is quite strong too! And the candles are a little lighthouse..."

The flowers had been a bit of a trick to avoid crushing once they'd left the road that would've led them across the border into Stranglethorn, but they'd managed. He still wasn't sure if mum and dad would actually like the marigolds, but he understood the importance of it being this specific kind of flower, now. It was both like and unlike the little ceremonies the Gilnean was familiar with.

"This is such a lovely area, too. I’m honestly so excited to see where your parents rest. I’ve not really seen many human gravesites. I’m interested to see how similar they are. I’d like to learn about Gilnean customs regarding it. I know that the Day of the Dead is more widespread now, so I’m sure your parents will enjoy the offerings all the same. And--Hey, are you doing okay? You’ve been a little quiet."

Leon paused, then gave a short shake of his head. "Just tryna make sure we don't get lost, hey?" It was a lame excuse for letting his mind wander, but Val let it pass, since they were tromping through an awful lot of dense foliage. Valarin was aware there was a moonwell not all that far from where they wandered, and though there was a ceasefire, it was still Alliance territory and he was still visibly not a night elf. The tension wasn't really there like it'd been during their trip to Aerie Peak, though; they were alone and nowhere near a proper settlement.

He almost asked another question before Leon stopped, pointed at a small cluster of bright purple blooms hugging the forest floor, and said, "We're 'ere." It was hard not to get excited all over again, but he wanted to be respectful of Leon's feelings, so he kept himself from squeaking and simply gave Leon his best 'I'm here for you' smile. Leon answered it with another kiss on his forehead. Val liked those kisses, even if they were usually Leon filling in a silence when he couldn't figure out what to say.

He watched Leon pull a ton of vines and push a ton of branches aside like a very sturdy set of curtains, and after a moment, rushed to assist. Together, they opened up a relatively worn footpath to a small clearing. Val couldn't help but gasp softly at the sight; it seemed like every square inch of the ground was covered in lilacs! Little purple flowers were everywhere, and the scent was almost overwhelming. Butterflies fluttered from blossom to blossom in every direction, and small clouds of them seemed to erupt every time he or Leon took a step. He found himself tiptoeing to try and avoid crushing anything almost immediately.

"Oh, Light, it's absolutely beautiful, Leon. You did this?" The thought was enough to bring tears to his eyes, but he tried not to let it, at least not yet. He knew he'd do plenty of crying before the day was out and he'd really rather not start again so soon. It was a little embarrassing, even if Leon said it wasn't. Just focus on not snagging your pants on anything, Valarin…

"Well, I mean, th' flowers did it on their own, mostly... flowers do tha'..." Leon looked sheepish as he deflected praise, "All I did was plant a couple an' leave 'em be. Lilacs 're 'ardy, easy thin's. Part o' why mum liked 'em so much." The Gilnean made his way carefully but quickly through the dense growth, well used to the path he took and not worrying overmuch about whether he was stomping flowers or butterflies; the flowers were going to be cut back anyway, and the butterflies were quicker than he was. Reaching the apparent edge of the clearing, Leon bent to set his hand on a particularly tall lilac bush, then abruptly tore away a few branches to reveal the carved wooden grave marker underneath it.

It was not a professional job, this marker, but it had definitely been a work of diligence and a high degree of effort. It was sanded down to a nearly glasslike smoothness, and it would probably shine like it once it was cleaned up. The uneven top edge of it suggested it had originally been a chunk of driftwood, but it’d been stained so dark that it was hard to be sure. Valarin was privately glad he’d gotten better at reading Common lettering; hand-carved stuff like this was a little tricky. “Bettany Marie Ambroce” caught a bit of light and practically glowed. 

“Right. ‘Ere we are, then.”

“Oh, Leon,” Valarin said, “This is so lovely. This is your mother?” He knelt down beside the wood and brushed his fingertips over the lettering. “Hello, Missus Ambroce. I’m happy to meet you.”

“Yeah.” Leon didn’t really know how else to answer, but felt like that was woefully insufficient. “This’s mum.” Okay that was almost less helpful. He brushed his fingers along the lettering in much the same way Valarin had, mulling over a few things before he settled on a simple, “...You r’member Val’rin, right? I’ve talked about ‘im b’fore…” He risked a glance at his little love, offering a weak smile. “Only th’ good stuff, though. Promise.”

“It better have been!” Val flashed a playful grin and tossed his hair. “I am a perfect angel, after all.”

Chuckling, Leon set down the bag of tools and took out a pair of hedge trimmers, offering them to Valarin. “I’ll take care o’ th’ bigger messes, you clear out th’ stuff all over th’ ground, okay?”

“Wait, are we doing this entire clearing?”

“Course. Otherwise th’ lilacs’ll grow way too far an’ get completely outta control. It’s already bad enough cuz I waited longer’n I should’ve, I norm’ly come by ev’ry month or so.”

Valarin looked out across the small expanse of purple with a tiny bit less wonderment than he had the first time. This was a bit more work than he’d realized, but, he had to admit to himself, Leon had warned him. And he was bound and determined to help, regardless, so! Nothing for it but to roll up his sleeves and get to work. Leon had to restrain himself from grinning at the look of almost militant determination that Val got before he started clipping away.

“Cheer up, at least y’ don’t ‘ave t’ make it look pretty, too, hey?” He waggled his own pair of much smaller clippers, and gestured toward the high-piled bushes covering the pair of markers. “I’ll prune these down an’ then we’ll both tackle th’ rest of ‘em. It only takes about an hour if there’s two of us.”

“Isn’t this a bit much?”

“‘Ow d’you mean?”

“Well I’m going to end up killing most of these by cutting them back all…all willy-nilly, aren’t I?”

“Sure, but tha’s kinna th’ point. They can’t all keep growin’ or they’ll overtake more’n th’ forest kin afford, see? S’why I come back an’ clean it up at all. Can’t just plant whatever, wherever, or it throws th’ ‘ole balance outta whack. I’d be a worse druid than I already am if I just planted a bush an’ left it.”

“You are not a bad druid!”

Laughing, Leon pruned away, and Valarin attacked the rest of the lilacs with gusto.

Once they were roughly halfway through the clearing as a whole, Leon mercifully called for a break. Valarin was not at all accustomed to Leon in work mode, at least not like this; he knew the man could get lost in his leatherwork for hours, but that wasn’t quite so physically demanding as this. It was impressive, if a bit exhausting to keep up with.

They both sat down with a satisfied sigh, and Leon stretched his legs in the much more visible grass by the cleaned-up gravestones. Once properly polished, the lettering on both gleamed like it had been painted with gold:

Bettany Marie Ambroce Beloved wife and mother I’ll take it from here

Graeme Iain Ambroce Beloved husband and father I’ve got this

“Dad would’ve liked you, y’know.”

“You think so?” 

“Yeah. Anybody ‘o kin keep up with an Ambroce’s bullshit is worth keepin’ an eye on, somethin’ like that.” Leon chuckled with a subdued smile, thinking back on various times when he’d heard that. Naturally, Graeme had been talking about his own wife, but still. It had merit. “‘Especially th’ wee ones.’ Mum was about yer ‘eight, I think.”

Valarin’s ears went back just a little. “I’m not that wee.” After a moment, though, he let himself chuckle, too. “Although I suppose it’s still a compliment. You said he was a mountain, anyway.”

That made Leon laugh, and he threw his arms out wide. “Oh yeah, an absolute fuckin’ behemoth, was dad. ‘E wrestled with steer at th’ yearly fairs, sometimes, an’...”

As much as Leon enjoyed listening to Valarin give impromptu dissertations, Valarin loved listening to Leon tell stories of his family and his home. Knowing that he’d never get to see either of them the way his boyfriend did, he clung to every word to try his best to imagine it, and let the farmboy ramble as long as he was willing to. He only dared to interrupt long enough to break out their picnic, which thankfully didn’t stop the flood at all.

Once they’d eaten and Leon had run out of tales to tell--some of which Valarin was sure had to be at least exaggerated, if not totally made up, but he couldn’t for the life of him figure out which ones--they’d gotten back to work. It was almost agony to start over again, since they’d had enough time for their hands to start hurting. That only seemed to spur them to get done quicker so that they were able to put the tools away after what felt like no time at all.

While Leon was raking the detritus into a corner of the clearing, Valarin set to work by the markers.

First, Valarin set up a small collapsible bed tray in front of the markers themselves, and covered it with a white cloth. He set out a few candles and arranged the marigolds all around what would become their ofrenda. Upon the tray he left portions of the favored foods they had brought; raspberry tarts, beef pasties, fried taters, all sorts of things. Though they had no pictures of the deceased--Leon couldn’t bring himself to risk losing the only image he had of his entire family--it was the thought that counted for this.

Obviously, Leon wanted to help, but he also didn’t want to do things wrong (despite Valarin’s many and constant reminders that there was no wrong way to arrange an ofrenda), so he hung back until it was almost finished. At Valarin’s urging, Leon took up a long match, and they each lit a candle at the same time, one for each parent. Finally, a small bundle of marigold petals was pressed into Leon’s hands, and he awkwardly scattered them in a rough line from the ofrenda to the graves themselves. Valarin had already made one out of the clearing itself, and with Leon’s contribution, there was a complete path.

When he returned to Val’s side, Val immediately curled both arms around his waist and tugged him down till they were both seated in the grass before the ofrenda. There, Val could finally get the cuddles he so cherished. Leon smiled softly and dragged the insistent thing into his lap, the better to hug him close and rest his chin on top of Val’s head. 

“So… what ‘appens now?”

“Now, you tell me more stories about them, and cuddle me, and I’ll tell you stories about mine, and cuddle you.”

“All night?”

“All night.”

“I think I kin do tha’.”

Though they couldn’t leave everything behind, the next morning, a pair of marigold-and-lilac wreaths hung from the wooden gravestones.

( @daily-writing-challenge​ @valarin-sunstorm​ )

[secret-engima]

So I started RWBY (thanks for that, it’s all from you), and I gotta say I love Yang. So are there any Dragon!Yang rambles you have? What about lunweiss too?

It’s been a while since I enjoyed a show like this, it’s nice

Hi!!! Welcome aboard!! And not to taint your opinions but just- idk I feel obligated to warn you that while I 100% recommend V1-V5, V6 is emotionally hard (and has plot points I am Not Happy With) and V7 is just ... a train wreck. A wonderfully animated, woefully badly written train wreck. And I’ve yet to watch v8 so I have no idea what’s going on THERE beyond Oscar being a Suffering Sunshine Boi.

But yes! Headcanons!!!! Also apologies for any spoilers I mention for the show in these? I don’t know where you are in the show and I’ve already talked a lot of spoilers I’m sure XD.

Dragon Yang:

-Yang is excited to go to Beacon actually. Nervous and dreading it, but excited. She’s learned over the two years since returning to Remnant how to manage her strength and limit her lethality, how to hide the worst of her ... odd behaviors. She wants to make new friends, and she’s hoping to see Velvet there (Yang transfers to Velvet’s combat school in this AU and makes friends with her by accident). But she’s also dreading the “living in dorms with strangers” thing.

-Then she learns Ruby is getting to join early and she oscillates between HECK YES SIBLING TEAM HERE WE COME to MY BABY SISTER IS NOT READY FOR THIS. PROTECC. Of course, she’s been training Ruby these last two years too, because she’s afraid of her own strength but she’s more afraid of Ruby being unprepared for the dangers of the world. Ruby will never be a STELLAR hand to hand but she can fight mean and run away and her parkour skills have reached ninja levels even without her Semblance.

-Now she just has to get on the same team as her sister.

-She’s honestly ... highly amused by the initiation exam? Like- yeah sure fling the DRAGON SLAYER off a CLIFF and expect her to be alarmed. Psh.

-She means to track down Ruby and is will on her way to doing so when she runs into Blake first. That’s ... a little annoying. She doesn’t even know this girl’s name (Yang never dragged Ruby off to make friends during the pre-initiation sleepover thing in this AU) but it’s not Blake’s fault so.

-Also, on the note of Blake lemme just sidetrack to point out something interesting in Yang’s mentality. She can tell the moment she smells Blake that Blake is a Faunus.

-She still doesn’t think of her as a Faunus. Because- to Yang, she genuinely doesn’t .... really understand the difference between Faunus and human? To her everyone is human, some of them just have extra bits and more useful senses. And this is a TOTALLY UNCONSCIOUS MENTALITY from back when she was living on Earthland. Because in Earthland, people can look really, really weird (especially in the magic community) and yet they are all still called “humans” and are still treated perfectly normal. Like this girl from canon Fairy Tail show-

That tail and those ears are 100% real, they move and react like actual limbs in the anime, but they weren’t always THERE. When that character was teeny, she looked like a “normal” human, but her magic is feline oriented and so over the years those traits GREW on her. And literally NO ONE BATS AN EYE IN THE SHOW. Not even the people who knew her when she was tiny non-cat human child. She’s far from the only example, but she’s the easiest to think of especially in regards to the Faunus thing.

-So yeah, Yang smells feline traits on Blake and just- doesn’t even react. Doesn’t mention it to anyone because her brain skips right over “cat ears = Faunus” in this world and goes straight to “ah yes, my new 100% nonmagical human teammates. My Sister, Ice Child, and Girl With Decent Hearing Thank Goodness”.

-So while Blake thinks she’s keeping her Faunus traits a secret from her whole team, her partner Yang is just vibing off to the side, perfectly aware that Blake has cat ears but still thinking of her and every other Faunus as regular ol’ humans.

-Yang doesn’t abandon Ruby at the entrance to Beacon either, so Weiss made a ... bad impression on Yang very quickly for yelling at Ruby’s sister for an accident. Yang shut that whole thing down pretty fast, but Ruby was still feeling humiliated and nervous and Weiss was prickly and embarrassed by Yang’s blunt opinions.

-Yeah it’s a good thing they can bond via Nevermore killing because otherwise this team would be way more dysfunctional than it is in the first few days.

-Yang has mixed opinions on Team JNPR. It is painfully clear Jaune has no idea what he’s doing, but frankly she has her hands full with her own team atm and no time to try to gently bully this boy into proper training. She makes a note to do it later. Pyrrha smells lonely and she’s a sweetheart. Nora is wayyyy to prone to getting into Yang’s (and everyone’s) personal space. Ren is nice. He has manners and he smells of tea.

-There’s a scene early on where this guy called Cardin bullies Velvet for her ears by grabbing them and pulling them and I’ve never like how none of the main characters or anyone else try to hELP.

-Ergo, when that scene happens, Yang promptly gets up, twists Cardin’s wrist so that he lets Velvet’s ear go, then picks him up by the back of his shirt and flings him right through the farthest cafeteria window she can aim at from this angle. When his team of fellow bullies take it poorly, she proceeds to throw them through other windows.

-Her only defense when taken to the Headmaster’s office to face down Glynda and a very bemused Ozpin is that 1. at least she didn’t break their jaws or bones like she did the first time she caught someone bullying Velvet, 2. Professor Goodwitch can fix the windows with telekinesis to it’s not like the school was actually damaged and 3. if the Headmaster can fling people off cliffs for initiations, she can fling people through windows for being moronic bullies that needed spanking when they were five and spoiled but never got it.

-Goodwitch is not amused. Ozpin, on the other hand, is highly amused by trying not to show it. Yang can smell it and sense it in his magic tho.

-Yang, later in the dorms, more to herself then anyone, “So Velvet was born with one more pair of ears than most humans have, that’s no reason to be a jerk. I mean come on, he was born with a dumb face but I left him alone until he made the first move.”

-Blake: *vague staticky brain noises of confusion* “She’s ... a Faunus.”

-Yang: Gesundheit.

-Yang meeting Ironwood is gonna be-

-Fun.

-Because she first meets him in v2/v3 when he shows up for the Vytal Festival and brings an army with him and it makes Yang’s instincts SCREECH. This is OZPIN’S territory and this random general man is stomping all over it, bringing his army with him like some kind of power statement and she is immediately ready to Throw Hands with this man on Ozpin’s behalf just out of PRINCIPLE. So when she goes up to visit him at one point and finds Ironwood already there, she ignores the conversation she interrupted by arriving, points at Ironwood and goes, “Is this guy bothering you, Headmaster? Should I through him out the window? Or down the elevator shaft?”

-Ironwood is stunned that a student just- SAYS THAT. Ozpin, who has already gotten to know Yang enough to know that her social default setting is “subtle as a brick that’s been dunked in gasoline and set on fire”, sighs, “I’m fine, Yang. This is General Ironwood from Atlas.”

-Yang clicks her tongue and cracks her knuckles, “I know who he is, he’s the guy who showed up and cluttered up your skies with those rattling junk heaps he calls an army. It’s why I asked if you wanted me to throw him.”

-Ironwood, truly aghast, “Excuse me?”

-(ngl I DO like Ironwood and feel like they did his character dirty in v7 and likely v8 but, especially in v2/v3 he does have a bit of a arrogance problem)

Lunweiss:

-Weiss probably confuses so many people at Beacon. She is a Schnee, so while people are expecting some measure of dignity they are also expecting snobbery or brattiness and instead she’s just- the sweetest, mildest person under her reserve?

-Jaune still has a huge crush on her, she firmly but gently informs him that she’s just not interested. When he is slow to take the hint she gets upset, but that just means she withdraws in on herself.

-Yang, activating her Big Sister instincts: Yo, Jaune. I like you, you’re a good friend. But if you don’t drop it then I’m going to drop kick you off the top of Beacon Tower.

-Jaune: o.o yes ma’am.

-Lunweiss has had ... something of a deprived childhood in both lives. I don’t mean physically, because of course as Oracle and then as Heiress she had the best clothes and finest foods, but just- in the ordinary Teenage Life Experience. Things like video games and board games, carnival food, shopping with friends- she doesn’t have any real experiences like that? So obviously, as soon as Team RWBY realizes this (aka the day they’re lounging around the dorm and Luna asks what “these” are, “these” being Yang’s and Ruby’s collection of video games), they set out to do All The Fun Things with Weiss. Even Blake gets in on it when she comes to the somewhat stunning realization that the life experience even she, the Faunus activist, took for granted, is stuff Weiss has only ever heard of distantly in books and film.

-Weiss, bemusedly attempting to play a video game while Yang and Ruby lean on either shoulder and coach her on the buttons: ...What is the purpose of this?

-Ruby: *initiates lore dump about the video game plot and characters and emotional story beats*

-Yang, yanking Ruby’s hood over her head so she sputters to a stop: To unwind and have fun with friends.

-Weiss: I thought that was what ‘sleepover night’ was for?

-Ruby: People can do more than one ‘fun’ activity, Weiss.

At one point Blake reluctantly takes Weiss book shopping because Ruby, as Team Leader, has organized an entire schedule of “who does what fun thing with Weiss” and this was hers: So this is my favorite book store, the fiction genres are that way, non-fiction is that way, and comics are over there.

Weiss: *looks incredibly, hopelessly lost* Ummmmm

Blake: ... let’s start simple. What kind of books did you read as a kid?

Weiss, a little helplessly: whatever the tutors my father hired deemed proper for my education at the time and whatever books I could sneak out of the library without being caught and told to put them back because they were either “too young” for me, “too old”, or “not proper for a young lady of my standing”. Grandfather had a lot of books that my father put in that latter category and eventually he just- locked the doors to the library entirely and bought a new copy of whatever my teachers or tutors said I needed.

Blake: *listens to this and slowly has an internal crisis that the ‘spoiled’ Schnee heiress has never been allowed to read her own choice of books aka Blake’s favorite childhood activity*

Blake, a little desperately: Are there any books you remember enjoying as a child? Even if they were assigned?

Weiss combs through her memories, decides that’s not productive, and goes all the way back to her Luna lifetime before tentatively admitting: I ... enjoyed reading mythology and other tales set in historical eras with little evidence of being actually true, but entertaining nonetheless, especially since they often had a moral component woven in.

Blake runs that through her internal Weiss Translator: Fairy tales. You like fairy tales. Okay, I can work with that.

[owllymain]

Some context for this snippet first; someone posted a lovely fun prompt on the discord, and I immediately went "but what if it was ANGST?!" 

My version was Tony and Stephen adopt, but are woefully unprepared for what would mean. They're schedules are erratic, and they struggle to balance their work, their parenting, and their relationship. They're barely skating along, but they are managing it for a while, held up by how very much they love Peter, and how much they love each other (even if they are starting to think the other doesn't love them back). 

And then Peter gets sick. It's not anything treatable, but an extreme cold or something, just something that has to be waited out. But Stephen can't accept that, digging into medical and magical solutions to the point of not spending time with his struggling family. And then, one night, after they finally get poor Peter to bed, they go to the kitchen, and immediately start arguing. And that's this scene.

----------

"I can't just sit by and watch-" Stephen whispered furiously, helpless and so tired but still not wanting to wake up Peter.

"You can't-" Tony started, scoffed, folded his arms over his chest. "If you want to leave, then leave!"

"That's not what I said!" Stephen argued.

"Well that's what it sounded like!" Tony yelled, just a little too loud. They both stopped, listened for a moment to hear if they had woken Peter. Their breathing was loud in the quiet kitchen, but there was no sound of Peter stirring. They didn't look at each other.

"Do you… do you really want me to leave?" Stephen asked, quiet. He tried not to let the hurt enter his voice, keep it impassive and unemotional because getting emotional never solves anything. It seeped in at the corners, all the same.

Tony wiped his face, clearly tired. 

"I don't want you to stay if you don't want to." Tony said with finality. He still wouldn't look at Stephen. Stephen let out a frustrated sigh.

"That's not what I asked Tony."

"I don't want you to stay if you hate it here." Tony continued, and it's not an answer to Stephen's question, but it punches Stephen in the gut. "If you hate me." 

"Tony. Tony, no, that's not what I-" Stephen started, then stopped, trying to organize his suddenly chaotic thoughts. "I'm going crazy because I'm afraid of losing everything I care about. My sister… she got sick. I couldn't do anything. She died."

Stephen bit back the tears talking about this always brought, but it didn't work, not this time. He took a shaky breath, continuing. "But I know so much more now. I thought surely, surely now- but I am so scared, because what if with everything I've learned, it's still not enough?"

He was reached out with his words, showing his vulnerable side in a way he hates doing, hoping to get things back in order. But Tony felt so far away, even across the kitchen.

"My parents, they weren't around much." Tony admitted after a long moment of silence. It sounded like a non sequitur, but Stephen listened. "If they didn't want to be there, they weren't. Only Jarvis ever stuck around, and- well, he was many things, but he was also on the payroll."

Tony laughed; it wasn't a happy sound, bitter. 

"I don't know what I'm trying to say. Damnit, why is this so hard? I-" Tony broke off, scrubbed at his eyes, but didn't move them from covering them when he was done, the other arm wrapped around himself, self soothing. Stephen noticed he was shaking. 

How long had he been shaking? How long had Tony been carrying this fear, that Stephen would eventually just… leave?

Stephen didn't know where he stood, how to fix this. This wasn't a fact he could memorize, a procedure he could learn. This was Tony. So he started with something he knew he could work off of, even if it was the most terrifying thing he could think to do at that moment.

"May I hold you?" Stephen asked. He knew Tony could say no. That Tony had every reason to say no. And if Tony said no, Stephen would have to accept it; that Tony didn't want Stephen near him anymore, maybe didn't love him anymore.

But miraculously, Tony made a choked off sound, and said, "Yeah. Yes, always."

Stephen didn't waste another second, took two big strides across the kitchen to wrap Tony in a hug. Maybe it was too tight, Stephen didn't know; but he did know Tony relaxed into it, immediately, like his whole being had been waiting for it.

"Please understand this," Stephen said, voice raw, "until you tell me to leave, I'm not going to. I'm nowhere near strong enough to let go of you unless it was to make you happy, and even then it might just kill me. I love you Tony. You and Peter. You're my whole world."

He felt Tony unwind further; like he had been just as afraid as Stephen that he wasn't loved back. That made something in Stephen loosen, some of the fear he had been carrying lose its grip. Tony still loved him. He leaned his head against Tony’s, breathing in his scent and the relief of that fact. They still loved each other.

"I didn't think I had it in me to be as happy as you make me, but I do." Stephen continued softly, more sure of himself now. "You can believe whatever else you want about me, but understand that is where I am coming from. I want to make this work, whatever it looks like. I want to be a family, with you and our son."

Stephen took a deep breath, lifted his head so he could look at Tony head on. Tony was still looking away though, blinking hard. "Look at me Tony. Do you want the same thing?"

Tony looked at Stephen, searching. Stephen didn't hide, not this time. His heart was on his sleeve, and he knew Tony could shatter it with a word. But he had to try. 

Eventually, Tony must have seen what he was looking for, because he nods.

"Yes, I do." Tony said, and Stephen can see he's telling the truth; he might not believe Stephen yet, but they could work on that.

"Good. Because if we know that, we can do anything." He knew this wasn't over, far from it; but he couldn't help the relief he felt from making its way into his voice. Maybe he didn't need to hide it at all. "Can I kiss you?"

Tony gave a wet chuckle, and it sounded exhausted, but also like happiness, like disbelieving hope.

"You'd better, before I start talking about my teen years." Tony joked, his already erratic breathing going rougher when Stephen leaned in close.

"I want to hear it all, Tony." Stephen said, breathing it on Tony's lips like the promise it is. "I want all of you, the good and the bad. And until you get tired of me, I plan to find out everything you are willing to give me."

"So everything, and forever," Tony said, and Stephen felt Tony's lips quirk in a smile, knew his were doing the same.

"Everything and forever." Stephen promised, and kissed his husband.

[sourbat]

Here’s a quick little ficlet where Skwisgaar and Toki discuss the proper treatment and training of yard wolves, and Skwisgaar learning that he isn’t the most reliable pack member of the group.

Rating: General

Warnings: references to “Bookklok” and implied trauma

Read it on Ao3

or just “read more” below :D

A yard wolf mother died at the hands of a stray bullet, leaving behind five young pups. Though Offdensen was a staunch believer of the old saying “survival of the fittest,” Skwisgaar took it upon himself to help raise and socialize the orphans until they were old enough for proper training. There were no complaints amongst the band, and the first few weeks of mostly nursing and playing went by smoothly. Then, during one afternoon, Skwisgaar got wise to a wily pup who was busy attacking and biting his sister’s ear into a bloody pulp.

Skwisgaar silently observed the scene, the larger male nipping and taking advantage of his submissive companion. While some might regard the aggressive behavior as a positive trait, Skwisgaar focused entirely on the female’s obvious signs of displeasure, and the male ignoring her pleas in favor of a quick power high. Carefully and swiftly, Skwisgaar swooped in and grabbed the pup by the snout. With his thumb and forefinger, he closed the tiny jaw shut, then rolled the upset thing onto his back where it tried to wriggle free. Aware of the continued defiance, Skwisgaar applied some weight and forced the pup into place.

As it whimpered and fought to be free of its new submissive position, Toki took interest and broke from the gang’s activities to check on Skwisgaar.

“You ams hurtings him,” he quietly suggested, as if ashamed for even bringing up the issue, or out of fear that the other members of Dethklok might notice their lead guitarist’s less than acceptable behavior.

“Just stoppins him from biting withouts permissions,” Skwisgaar replied while keeping his hold. “Ams more humiliatinks than anytinks else.”

“Nots very nice,” Toki remarked, sounding more offended than the pup.

Skwisgaar rolled his eyes. “Sometimes ams not abouts be-inks nice.”

Below, the young wolf’s tail began to vigorously sway, as though it were nervously considering this act by his foster a game. Perhaps he saw Toki and figured he might be saved from the awkward predicament.

Skwisgaar refused to budge. He stared the dog down, eyes chasing and locking with the pups’ whenever it so much as tried to whimper and cry in Toki’s direction. Eventually, after Toki joined the sounds of complaints, the puppy emitted another soft plea, and then went limp.

Toki’s shadow fretted above, finger pulling at the other as Skwisgaar counted down before finally breaking from his fierce glower and hold.

“He doesn’t likes it,” he heard Toki comment.

“He needs to learn to controls himself, Tokis,” Skwisgaar calmly insisted.

He watched the small wolf turn limp and submissive, and finally released his grip. As he had hoped, the pup remained fixed in place, wild amber eyes locked onto Skwisgaar and awaiting permission to crawl back and join his pack mates. Satisfied, he smiled, and backed from the puppy, letting Toki observe the small beast quickly recover and scamper off, tucked tail already lifting the moment he was out of grabbing range.

When Skwisgaar turned, he saw Toki retracting awkwardly before providing an overenthusiastic nod. His eyes, however, were very much on litter, and when Skwisgaar tried to invite Toki close with a smile, earned a slightly dismayed pout instead. He brought a hand to his dusty elbow, rubbing it consciously as Skwisgaar made yet another glance at the pups.

He couldn’t guess what irked Toki so much, so he asked, “Thinks I hurts his snouts?”

Toki’s face hardened. “Thinks you hurts his feelinks when you humiliatics him.”

Skwisgaar found the suggestion amusing, but refrained from being nasty. It would be easy to poke fun at how his rhythm guitarist applied human thoughts and feelings to that of a beast. And was Toki so hurt because he felt sorry for the pup? Did he not witness the damage the young wolf caused?

“It ams better to have his feelinks hurt now,” Skwisgaar stated firmly, “otherwise, he will gets reckless and gets his pack hurts.” He stared at Toki, then turned to watch the pup return to his sister to lick the wounds he had caused. “Sometimes we needs to be hard on the ones we cares about, Tokis. We needs them to be betters,  understands?”

Toki’s head sank. He looked doubtful. Skwisgaar didn’t hold it against him. It was so easy to focus on the present, on immediate pleasures and momentary, fanciful whims. That was all Toki knew. He lived in a world of luxury. It seemed cruel to forcibly keep a pup’s mouth shut, glare at it while teaching it to submit. But it was for a greater cause. The pup attacked a member of his pack. Maybe to Toki, it was nothing more than an accident, but in the grander scheme of things, such rebellious acts would get in the way of the pack’s wellbeing.

A light clicked. It occurred to Skwisgaar why Toki would feel bad for a disobedient pack member. Toki likely saw himself in the animal: reckless, thoughtless and desperate for control. Skwisgaar couldn’t count the times he had to put Toki in his place, remind him who was the lead guitarist, or pull him out of some ridiculous situation that he’d gotten himself into. The rhythm guitarist who wanted more creative control, but couldn’t be bothered to practice more or offer any input during recording. Toki saw himself in that male wolf and empathized with his terrible blunder, reliving those embarrassing times Skwisgaar caught him woefully unprepared.

“Don’ts worry,” Skwisgaar said. He stood up and continued to watch the small litter return to their play. “He wills be okays. He wills…gets over it.”

It sounded far crueler than intended, but there was no going back from it. Skwisgaar didn’t see any reason to, and began readjusting his guitar strap.

“Did you “gets over it” when I humiliatics you?”

The question struck like a hard blow to the gut, mentally upper-cutting an unsuspecting Skwisgaar and leaving him hopelessly at a loss for words.

“No,” Skwisgaar finally managed once most of the memories of the event had subsided. “But dat ams–”

His first inclination was to point out the difference between the two; however, after reliving those traumatic few weeks once more, Skwisgaar withheld from concluding his thoughts.

Though a memory now, the reminder proved its weight and pushed all the air out of him in the form of a heavy, uneven sigh. His composure teetered, and although they were out in the private haven that was Mordhaus’ fields, Skwisgaar avoided Toki and the band in the far distance to hide his immediate reaction. Shaken and misty-eyed, Skwisgaar faced the small collection of wolf pups and homed in on the young male he had disciplined in front of Toki.

Skwisgaar didn’t think he resembled the older male. True, he’d been hard on Toki in the past, and made their shared rehearsals difficult, but that was only because he had high standards.

The pervasive thought lingered, festering the longer Skwisgaar had his sights on the animal. Standards or not, Skwisgaar knew there was more to him berating Toki than he let on. It was years of mediocrity, of performing well below his skill in bands that didn’t go anywhere, of going from band to band, from teacher to teacher, of being told by his last  lead guitarist that his creative input wasn’t wanted, and–

And following that, years of his insecurities and obsessive compulsive desire to stay on top quashing any hope for Toki to step outside his shadow, lest Skwisgaar repeat the cycle again. And where did that get him? A spot in the New York’s Times best sellers, and for all the wrong reasons. Things between the two had gotten better since the books were pulled, but Skwisgaar couldn’t deny that it still haunted him.

All because he couldn’t bear the thought of supporting Toki and letting him play a solo in front of an adoring crowd.

Skwisgaar faced Toki. Nervous, and still recovering from the memories, he grappled the neck of his guitar, letting the strings underneath his grip scrape into him.

“Skwisgaars?” Toki neared, taking him by the arm. “Ams sorry. Didn’t’s means to brings–”

“I learneds my lesson. And…” Skwisgaar stared hard at the ground. It didn’t stop the heat from rising out his face, the pain from constricting his throat. Toki tugged his arm. Slowly, Skwisgaar lifted his head, the hurt in his eyes uninhibited and blaring. “Tokis…I dids not like it whens you humiliatics me.”

Toki shriveled before him. “Skwisgaar, I ams so sorries.”

“Ams ok. I shoulds hab knowns better,” he said, tearing his hands from his guitar to stop Toki from shrinking any further. He fought past the stings of his wounded pride and misguided anger, and faced the bitter truth as best he could. Again, staring at the earth did little to help stave away the pain, but this time Skwisgaar had Toki by his side. Toki was still shaken, but it seemed he knew they both needed some help keeping things together.

With the other’s help, they walked to a nearby and empty table, the litter of pups and a few klokateers trailing not too far behind.

“I should habs been a better members of the packs and lets you plays a solo.” Skwisgaar sighed, eyes rifting from the wolves to his guitar. He had half the mind to play. Something to distract from the pain. With Toki waiting and calming down in front of him, he broke habit and clasped his hands together.

“I will also tries to finds a different ways to train the yard wolves,” he added, feeling the pangs of guilt and tarnished ego subside once Toki’s expression eased into acceptance.

“Okays.”

They made a glance at the pups in the distance. Skwisgaar watched the male he had punished stop and stare at him, then returned to his chase. Amongst the yips and barks, he spotted the quiet female at the edge of the pack, her bloodied ear now drying. Skwisgaar knew he’d have to make it right on her behalf, fix her ear and teach her to defend herself if she was to survive training.

Consequently, he owed Toki the same opportunity for success.  

Skwisgaar drew a finger, and let it glide along one of his strings. As it vibrated a silent note, he willed the courage to face Toki and add, “And…if you gets over freezinks ups, I will gives you solos the next time we plays.”

Toki’s eyes practically glowed. “You means it?” he asked, sounding hopeful.

“Ja. What ams teams-mates for?” Skwisgaar said. He wanted to tack on more, go as far to suggest that he’d try to help Toki face a demanding crowd, but refrained. A history of bad music lessons and bullying, not to mention the remaining members of the band picking up on the fact they’d been away for so long, kept Skwisgaar going too far from his comfort zone. But that didnt mean the idea was off the table. Once he picked up a new method of training, and Toki had proof he wasn’t going to go back on his word, he’d mention the idea.

If he was worthy enough, Toki would accept him as an instructor.

“Thanks you, Skwisgaars!” The embrace arrived quicker than Skwisgaar could defend himself from. Still sitting, his guitar pressed into his chest, and Skwisgaar wheezed a slight gasp while Toki gratefully squeezed the life from him. “I promise Toki will do betters.”

“Ams fine. Just promise not to tells the others I gots… emoskinals.”

Toki broke into a little chuckle, then let go of Skwisgaar. Murderface called for Toki to return to the table and roll the die, and finish his turn. He raced ahead of Skwisgaar, leaving him to the purple glades and perpetual mist that accompanied the fields, but not before sending a final, optimistic glance at his lead. Skwisgaar watched it come and go, like so many others, but couldn’t shake the feeling that this time Toki was going to uphold this promise.

A sharp cry pulled Skwisgaar away from the table, and to two of the young yard wolves fighting and causing quite the stir amongst the litter.

Only times will tells, Skwisgaar thought, then set out into the fog to return to the wolves.

[adenei]

Finding My Way To You - Ch. 11

AO3 || FFN

A/N: In case something looks familiar to you, yes this does include the Day 8 prompt in this chapter with a few slight alterations to fit the rest of the chapter more accurately.

**************

New Endeavors

Ron woke up the following morning to Hermione’s alarm going off. He reached over to her in an attempt to coerce her into having a longer lie-in, but he pulled back when he heard her squeal.

“No, no, no, no, I’m late! This is not good!” she said frantically. She jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom. 

As much as he didn’t want to see her get moving, he could certainly get used to the sight of her walking around in just her knickers and one of his shirts. Ron closed his eyes as he heard the shower turn on and replayed the night before. After they had cleared the air and spent the rest of the afternoon exploring their new relationship, they’d gone to dinner with her parents. 

Hermione had suggested she spend the day with them today, and Ron was fine with it. He knew it was important to her to reconnect, and some of that needed to be done with just the three of them. So that’s where Hermione was getting ready to head now. He heard the door open and Hermione came out wrapped only in a towel.

“I forgot to grab clothes,” she said in frustration with herself. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

“Not if you keep walking around in just a towel, I won’t be,” Ron said. “Are you sure you can’t come back here for a little bit?” He knew she was referring to her leaving him alone all day, but he couldn’t pass up the opportunity to try and get a little extra time with her first.

Hermione had gathered her outfit in her arms and turned around to give him a look. “I’d love to, but I’m already late. And we both know if I crawl back in bed, I may not have the resolve to get up again.” She walked back into the bathroom. “What are you going to do all day?”

“I dunno. I’ll think of something. Don’t worry about me. Have fun with your parents.”

Hermione came out of the bathroom again and walked over to the edge of the bed. “I just feel bad.”

Ron sat up and swung his legs over the side to meet her. “Don’t. You need this time with them. That’s why we came. I’ll find something to do, and I’ll see you later tonight. Just...keep me updated, okay?” Slight worry etched across his face. He knew he was on good terms with her parents, but he still worried that she might not return. 

She must have noticed his concern because she leaned over and kissed him. “I will. I’ll see you tonight.” Ron nodded as he watched her grab her bag and head out the door. He laid in bed a while longer before finally getting up.

After getting ready for the day and finishing his breakfast, Ron made his way to to look through some of the brochures from the Australian Ministry. He nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard the phone on the wall ring. At first he wasn’t sure what to do. It wasn’t like he answered telephones often. He reminded himself not to shout into the receiver like that awful attempt at calling Harry when he was younger.

He picked up the phone and said, “Hello?”

“Hello, Ron? Is that you? This is Graham. Graham Jacobsen. I showed you to your flat when you first arrived.”

Ron had honestly completely forgotten all about the man. Now that he thought about it, they probably should have updated the Australian Ministry days ago. “Er, yes, hi. Is everything alright?” Ron asked.

“Yes, yes, of course! I’m just checking in to see how your search has been going and if you need any assistance!”

“It’s been great, actually. We’ve managed to locate Hermione’s parents, fairly quickly actually, and she’s been spending the last few days getting reacquainted with them.”

“Excellent, excellent! So the resources the Ministry sent over with the muggle teeth cleaners and addresses of Wilkin’s in the surrounding area were no doubt helpful, then?”

“Er, yeah,” Ron said. He wasn’t about to tell Graham that they’d actually stumbled upon Jean and Hugo by accident.

“Great. So anyways, like I said, I was asked to get an update. Since you’ve located them, we were wondering how much longer you were anticipating to stay.”

“I’m not sure. I can talk to Hermione and see if we can get a clearer answer for you tomorrow or the day after if that’s okay.”

“Yes, sure! No rush. It will just help to have an idea to prepare your portkey trip back. Let’s see, let’s see, oh yes! One more thing. You received a letter here from England through the Portkey Post. Wouldn’t want to make owls travel all this way. If you’re available, you can come pick it up at the Ministry anytime.”

A letter? Is everything alright back home? “Sure, yeah, I can actually be down there in fifteen minutes.”

“Excellent, I’ll meet you in the entrance hall. See you in a jif!” Graham said before hanging up.

Ron hung up the phone and immediately began moving around the apartment to grab his things. He figured he could spend a few hours walking around and seeing what else Melbourne had to offer from the magical side of things. Before he knew it, he was apparating to the spot Graham showed them almost a week ago, and walked the short distance to the Ministry entrance.

He had barely stepped a few paces inside when he saw Graham waving frantically. “Ron! Over here!” They met in the middle as Graham said, “So good to see you again! I hope you’ve been enjoying your stay here so far.”

“Yeah, it’s been great,” Ron agreed.

“Here’s the letter that came for you. If you want to send a response, we send our international post out at 13:00 every day. The drop box is over here.”

Ron followed him over to the box that had a small slot in it. He was curious how this system worked. Whether it was his lack of knowledge about other cultures and customs or not, he always assumed the owls just traveled the distance to their destination. Though, for a continent like Australia that was so far away from other places, he supposed this system made sense. It’d be hard for an owl to travel over an ocean with no resting points.

“Thanks.” 

“Absolutely. Well, I must be getting back to my obligations. Like I said, feel free to call if you ever need anything. Just press 9 on your dial pad and it will transfer your call to my office. A little magical touch so you don’t have to memorize a ten digit number. I look forward to hearing from you!”

Graham shook Ron’s hand before walking away. Ron looked at the letter in his hand. He didn’t want to return to the flat just to read it, so he decided to walk around a bit to find a place to sit and read what it said. There was a small park a few blocks away that Ron stumbled upon. He chose one of the vacant benches and sat down. The handwriting looked like Harry’s.

Hey Ron,

I hope you and Hermione are having luck finding her parents. It’s odd here without you two, but I’ve been keeping busy. Listen, I’m not trying to rush the process, but I wanted you to know that I met with Kingsley yesterday, and he said they’re looking for recruits in the Auror program. The other letter that I sent with this is from him. He’s inviting us into the program if we want. I think I’m going to go for it. We have to complete the screening process by the end of the month, so I’m hoping you’ll be back by then to start with me if that’s what you want to do. By the way, are you and Hermione sorted yet? Ginny wants to know. Well, anyways, let me know when you decide. 

Harry

Ron reread Harry’s letter a few times before pulling out the second piece of parchment that he now knew to be from Kingsley. Was this actually an invitation to join the Aurors? Would he be able to achieve his dream? Did he still want to pursue that dream? He slowly peeled off the wax seal and unfolded the official Ministry parchment.

Mr. Weasley,

I hope this finds you well and that you are having success on your current mission. I am reaching out to you to personally invite you to join the Aurors. As you know, we are woefully understaffed as a result of the war, and your integral efforts make you a prime candidate for the program. Typically, the training period is an extensive three years, but given your experiences, you will have an opportunity to pass out of the training program after a year, and be promoted to Junior Auror status. 

I understand that you are predisposed on a mission, but this offer is time sensitive. The Auror department has agreed to honor this offer for select people, yourself included, but they are requiring all candidates to begin on 3 August. Paperwork and a screening, however, must be completed by 1 July. I have attached the preliminary paperwork for you to set up your appointments with the Ministry, and they will be in touch should you be interested in pursuing this avenue. 

Please take the time to think about this, but do not wait too long to reply. The Aurors will be lucky to have someone with your skillset in the department. Best of luck on your continued search. All my best,

Kingsley

Ron’s hands were shaking slightly at the letter. He had a personal invitation from the Minister of Magic to join the Aurors. His finger followed the application that he looked over. It seemed straightforward enough, and the prospect was certainly appealing. He knew deep down that he absolutely wanted to try, but something was preventing him from returning to the Australian Ministry to fill out the paperwork and send it back that same day. 

Ron thought it through to make sure he’d have enough time to discuss with Hermione first. He reviewed the application, and it said he could return his paperwork from Australia, and it said that he could request a timeframe for his appointment. That was good. Maybe he could return next week, but his heart wrenched at the thought of having to leave Hermione here. Ron folded the contents of the two letters and tucked them in his jacket pocket for safekeeping. 

He looked around the park, thinking about what to do next. It was a beautiful, crisp day, just like every other day had been since they’d arrived, even if it was colder. He smiled, thinking Hermione would be cold, but he was perfectly comfortable. The weather here differed so greatly from the weather in England, and Ron was slightly envious of how nice it seemed to be year round.

He finally decided to walk around. This part of Melbourne wasn’t as familiar to him, but Ron figured he could always apparate back to the flat if need be. A smile spread across his lips as he stood up and began walking back towards the Ministry. He’d gone from not knowing what life had in store for him now that the war was over to having a career prospect. Nothing could break his mood as he looked around at the places to explore. 

About an hour later, Ron found himself wandering aimlessly around Melbourne’s streets. He’d gone in several of the shops that interested him along the way, and had just finished up a light meal he’d gotten at a cafe. The food was great, and he wished Hermione had been there to. He told her he was fine with today’s plan, but he still missed her. They’d been spending so much time together that it felt odd to be apart from her, even if it was just for the day. Even when her mum had whisked her away to shop, he still knew exactly when he’d see her next.

As he made his way down another new street, Ron stopped outside the window of a unique looking jewelry shop. He knew it was still early in their relationship, but he walked inside anyways to see what the display cases held. Most everything would probably be out of his price range, but maybe he’d gather an idea or two for Hermione.

“Good afternoon,” a bright and energetic salesperson said to him.

“Hello,” Ron said.

“Is there anything I can help you find today?”

“Oh, er, not really. Just looking,” his ears turned red. 

“Not a problem at all! I’ll be around if you need anything,” she smiled and went back to her work.

As he walked around slowly, browsing the selection, he was appreciative that there seemed to be a wide variety of items and price ranges. Ron avoided the section with the rings. It was way too early for that, and he didn’t want to get his hopes up with wishful thinking. So, he found his way over to the earrings, which he was pretty sure she never wore often, though he was certain her ears were pierced, and then the necklaces. He shuddered at the recollection of Lavender giving him that horrifying ‘sweetheart locket’ back in sixth year, and swore to himself that he wouldn’t get anything like that for Hermione. 

Once he’d finished circling the perimeter of glass cases, he moved to the center displays, which appeared to be bracelets. There was a small display among them that had a variety of blank bracelets and little pieces scattered all around. 

Ron looked around and caught the salesperson’s attention. “Find something I can help you with?”

“Er, yes. What are these?” Ron asked her.

“Oh! Great question. These are charm bracelets! Are you familiar with them?” she asked kindly.

“No, not really,” Ron admitted.

“No matter! You see, you pick out a bracelet first, though I’m sure you would have gathered that, and then you have all of these amazing charms to choose from. We have hundreds of them on this display for you to choose from.”

“So, the charms are like symbols, then?” Ron asked for clarification.

“Precisely! They are becoming increasingly popular.”

Ron nodded as an idea was forming in his mind. He was unable to get anything for Hermione’s last birthday, and Christmas for that matter. Maybe this could be the way to make it up to her. “How much?”

“The bracelets are 50 dollars, and then the charms range anywhere between 15 and 50 depending on what you’re looking for.”

Ron thought about what the salesperson said as he felt the wallet in his pocket. Bill and George had both given him money before he’d left. He was determined not to use it unless he had to, since he felt guilty that he was taking it to begin with. Maybe he’d splurge a bit, and when they got back to England, he’d take up a part-time job at the shop with George in order to pay him back, and then earn a little spending money of his own.

In truth, he was about to use it to pay for their posh dinner the other night, but Hermione had insisted she use her parent’s card. He’d need to make it up to them, too, at some point. Focus, Ron. Okay, I could get her the bracelet, and a few charms. No more than five. He knew if he didn’t set a limit, he’d blow all his money on this one gift.

“Okay, I’d like the silver bracelet, I think. Is there a list of charms, or will I need to look through all these individually?” Not that he minded, since he had nowhere else to be today.

“We have a list right here!” There was a stack of laminated papers that she grabbed one from and handed to him. “When you’ve decided what you’d like, I can take them out for you and we can put them on the bracelet at the register.”

“Great, thanks!” Ron said as he began to work his way through the list. 

She wasn’t kidding when she said there were hundreds. They were broken down into categories on the double sided sheet. He knew he definitely wanted to get her the book charm. That was without a doubt. He saw that there was also a heart with roses engraved in it. It looked fancier than the other charms, but he figured he could splurge a bit on it since it held a special meaning for them both. 

As his eyes skimmed the list he noticed an assortment of animals. I wonder…, he thought. He saw there was definitely a dog, which he wasn’t surprised by, but he was even more pleased to see that there was an otter charm! “Well, they are quite cute,” he muttered to himself. 

Four charms down, one more. He initially looked for an elf, but didn’t have any luck there. He wasn’t surprised, and he worried that even if he saw one, it’d be one of those Christmas looking ones. Giving up on that, Ron ended up finding a seashell charm which instantly brought him back to Shell Cottage. That was no doubt the turning point in their relationship, and it also represented the place where Dobby was buried. It could definitely serve a double meaning, for sure.

He brought the paper up to the counter and told the kind salesperson his choices, watching as she bustled around to collect everything. She rang the items up, and Ron pulled out his wallet to pay for the items. He carefully tucked the receipt away so he could keep track of his purchases.

“Would you like this wrapped up in a gift bag?” she asked him.

“Yes, please,” he said, glad to have her assistance.

He asked if the charms could be arranged the following way on the bracelet: book, otter, terrier, seashell, and heart. It represented the chronological order of the charm’s meanings to their relationship. The salesperson finished wrapping up the bracelet and handed him the gift bag when she was finished. “Thank you so much for your business, and best of luck. I’m sure your special someone is going to love this!”

“Thanks for your help,” Ron said as he exited the shop.

He figured he should probably head back before he spent any more money that day. Ron could watch the telly, and there was enough food for him to make something at the flat. There was an alley nearby that he decided to turn into, so he could apparate back to the flat. Better to be safe than sorry, since he really had no idea where he was. He turned on the spot and appeared at the apparition point nearby. He approached the building, typed in the code and let himself into the foyer. 

When he made it up the stairs, he unlocked the door and walked into the main living area, just as a silvery ball floated toward him. At first, his heart constricted and he immediately became on edge. He was even more worried for Hermione’s safety when the ball transformed into Hermione’s otter patronus.

A moment later he could hear Hermione’s nervous voice. “Hi! I hope this works. It’s the first time I’ve tried to send a patronus message. Anyways, I’m having dinner with my parents and will be back after. Most likely between seven and eight. I hope you don’t mind. See you soon.” 

The silver otter pranced over to him and moved in a figure eight pattern around his legs before nuzzling him and disappearing into a wisp. Ron couldn’t help but smile with pride. Hermione was okay, and she’d produced her first corporeal patronus complete with a message. He checked his watch as he set the bag down on the table. Only a few hours until he could see her again.