#it’s been 7 years like wtf

[agoddamnbeautifulidiot]

Flicker of Hope

Epilogue Two: Madison Square Garden – Night Two

A/N:

Here is it. The final part of FOH…well unless I eventually feel like writing anything else lol. Who knows what else @harrywavycurly or anyone else might inspire from me for these two.

Note that I do play around with the timeline of Niall and Hailee’s relationship to benefit this story. Here, they only see each other from January 2018 to sometime in July 2018.

Also, we’re circling back around to death in this and there will be discussion of depression, slight unintentional ED, so bear that in mind.

Big, HUGE thanks to everyone who has read this series and spent years asking me when there would be more. You’re the real ones.

And big thanks to Niall for just being Niall. Wouldn’t have been able to write this without his beautiful music.

Alright, enough sappiness from me, here’s some more from our favorite couple. And maybe some spice. You never know with me.

-----------

You’re just coming out of the bathroom when Niall’s alarm goes off. He groans loudly and you giggle as you watch him roll over to smack his phone. The sheets are tangled in his legs and pulled taut around his hips. Flopped on his stomach, he shoves his arms under a pillow and smashes it against his face.

Smiling, you walk over to the bed, climbing on it by his feet. Crawling over him, you settle over his covered thighs and sit down. Niall grunts, turning his head just slightly. One blue eye peeks back at you and you laugh, leaning forward to press a kiss to his bare shoulder.

He hums. “Good mornin’.” His voice is rough from sleep and singing last night.

“Morning,” you say. You sit back, bouncing slightly on the tops of his thighs, making him grunt again. Grinning, you bounce one more time before climbing to the side and off of him. You move to crawl off the bed, but Niall’s hand grips the end of your robe and pulls until you fall into his side. You're laughing as you roll over and snuggle into him. “Something you wanted, my dear?” He opens his eye again, looking disgruntled with his hair tousled. His arm wraps around you, smashing your face into the pillow, making you laugh again. You run your hand over his back, scratching lightly.

Niall finally rolls more fully towards you, both eyes open. He yawns, jaw clicking with the force of it before he leans forward and nuzzles his nose against yours. You offer him a closed mouth kiss and your hand moves into his hair, attempting to smooth out the chaotic strands. “You showered.” He says, rubbing his nose on your cheek.

“I did.”

“I wanted ta shower wit ya.” He pouts and it’s ridiculous how adorable you find this man.

Massaging his scalp, you offer him another kiss. “I’m sorry, honey. I had a call this morning so I got up early to do that and then figured I’d go ahead and shower. I will remind you though, we did shower together last night.”

He just stares at you, continuing to look so adorably and sleepily disgruntled. “Is dere a rule against showerin’ together two times in a row dat I don’ know about?”

“No, you dork,” He grins when you roll your eyes. Ignoring his face, you pull away, finally managing to crawl back off the bed as he reaches for you. “I was gonna order some breakfast. You want anything?”

Niall adjusts, sitting up against the pillows, still grinning at you. Most of the covers are bunched up at the end of the bed, so he fixes the sheet until it’s mostly covering his legs. “Guess I’m lucky me alarm went off. Knowing you, you would’ve had a whole feast without me.”

“Oh my god, you’re so dramatic.” You start going through your suitcase, trying to pull a suitable option for the start of the day. “I was coming to wake you up anyways.”

“Cause you're hungry.”

“Cause I’m starving, Niall.” He laughs when you whine, pulling a sad face at him. “I’ve been up for hours and all I’ve had was a pack of airline nuts that I literally have no idea when they’re from and some really bad tea from the coffee bar.”

“Where did you find peanuts?”

You throw your robe onto the chair and pull on some shorts and a shirt. “They were in one of the side pockets on your suitcase.” When you look up at Niall, his eyebrows are raised. “What? I told you I was hungry.”

He shakes his head, tossing the sheet off his legs to get out of the bed. “Those could literally be years old, babe. Can’t remember da last time I got nuts on an airplane.” Brow furrowed, you just stare at him for a moment. He huffs out a laugh and leans over to kiss you on the forehead as he walks by. “‘M gonna jump in the shower. Order me like a full spread and some coffee, please.”

You stand there for a full minute, just thinking about those peanuts. “Gross.”

——————

It’s not the most comfortable, but you’ve somehow managed to sprawl across several floor seats as you listen to sound check. The seats are hard and there are several legs digging into your side and thigh, but you’re content to just lay there and listen to Niall and the band play.

Eyes closed, you hum along as the opening bars of “Mirrors” starts. You remember the videos you were tagged in over and over all those years ago when you’d have to leave Niall behind in Tokyo to deal with the loss of your dad. Thinking back now, it had felt like you were leaving half your soul behind. Because honestly, you had.

Other than all the nonsense with Robbie and the subsequent falling out the two of you had had, the lingering effects of your dad’s death had been the most difficult part of your relationship. Not because any part of it had come between you, but all of it had put you under so much stress and Niall had felt absolutely helpless.

The worst part of all of it had been what happened with your sister Charlie. Despite the fact that it had been what had finally reconnected you and Niall.

Your eyes are starting to blur from how long you’ve been staring at your computer screen. It’s almost dark in your apartment, which should tell you to get up, turn on a light and find something to have for dinner. But this is easier. Sitting on your couch, working. The same thing you’ve been doing for months.

It had been months since you’d spoken to Niall. Since the end of January really. Back when Tara had let it slip that the rumors about him and Hailee were true. You just couldn’t bear to reach out to him. Not that he was reaching out to you. Your text conversation had been relegated to the bottom of your messages app, something that cut at you any time you thought about it.

Your eyes flicker down to the date on your screen. 8/19/2018. Red Rocks. Niall, someone who you once called your best friend, was playing Red Rocks tomorrow and you weren’t going to be there. Groaning, you rub your hands over your face, finally leaning over to flick on the lamp on the side table. Setting your laptop to the side, you stand up and stretch, rolling your shoulders. You head into the kitchen, wondering if there’s any actual food to find.

“Pathetic,” you mutter, opening doors to barren cabinets. “You have no food, your whole body hurts and you’re thinking about a guy who probably isn’t sparing you a single thought as he has the best time of his life. Utterly pathetic.” You pull out your phone and see what you can get delivered. It’s later than you thought, but thankfully there are still a few things open in London.

Food ordered, you head back into the living room, walking around the room a few times to avoid sitting back in your chair. You’re dazedly staring out the gap in your curtains when your phone rings loudly in the silence.

“Hey, Josh,” you greet your brother in law.

Josh sighs, “Hey, kid.” He sounds tired and your brow furrows.

“Is everything ok?”

He chuckles at that, but they’re sad sounds, almost like he’s holding in tears. “No, no, everything is not ok.”

You can’t help it, you practically drop down into your chair, stomach sinking with dread. “What’s going on?”

“She did it, Y/N,” He says. “Charlie filed for divorce.”

It’s like the world stops spinning around you for a second and when it starts up again, you’re dizzy. “What the fuck? What are you talking about?”

Josh laughs again, and this time the sound is truly wet with tears. “She came home today and told me. And then she packed all of her stuff and moved out.”

“Josh.” It’s all you can say for a minute. Your brain tries to catch up with what he’s saying. “But, she…she’s been going to therapy. You’ve been going to therapy. I thought everything was getting better?”

“Yeah, I did too.” He scoffs. “I don’t know what happened. Yesterday, everything seemed ok and then today…” Be trails off and you can’t do anything but stare sadly at your worn out bunny slippers. “There’s more.”

You take in a deep breath, trying to hold in your panicked laughter. “What more could there possibly be?”

“Well, we were waiting to tell everyone, but at this point, we need to.” Josh pauses again and you can hear him breathing deeply over the line. “She’s pregnant.”

Gasping, you stand up, pacing around your coffee table. “Pregnant?! What the fuck? What…and she…Josh…” You don’t even know what to say. Everything he’s telling you is making you feel like you’re in an alternate reality.

“Yeah, and I tried to bring that up, you know? Like how are we getting divorced when we’ve got a kid on the way? But she, she doesn’t want to be with me anymore, Y/N.” His voice breaks and you feel tears coming on. “And I’m not going to make all of us miserable if we’d be happier apart.”

“What are you guys going to do?”

Josh sighs. “We’re going to figure it out. We’re having a kid and getting divorced. It’s not going to be easy, but we’re going to get through it.”

You try to think happy thoughts for him, even though you know all of this is killing him. “You’re going to be the best dad, Josh.”

That makes him chuckle, and it’s still wet with tears but you know he’s smiling. “Thanks, kid. You’re going to be the best aunt.”

The two of you talk for a few more minutes until your door buzzer goes off, signaling the arrival of your dinner. You grab your food, placing the bag on the coffee table and sitting back in your chair.

Staring at the bag, you can’t seem to force yourself to open it. Your stomach growls loudly, but you don’t even hear or feel it. Josh and Charlie breaking up and having a baby? How do you reconcile that? After everything else that’s happened this year?

Your phone lights up and you grab it to check it. It’s the notification from Niall posting on instagram and there’s something about this moment that feels like a sign. Opening up your messenger app, you scroll down and hesitate over his name for just a second before clicking the chat open and beginning to type.

Something nudged your foot and you frown, readjusting. The band has stopped playing, but you can hear them messing around from where you’re laying. You feel a shove on your foot again and you open your eyes, gasping and sitting up.

“Oh my god!” You squeal and throw yourself into your brother’s arms. “Arthur! Mom! Nate!” You hug each of them in turn. “Josh!” He hugs you tight and you both laugh when little hands try to tug you apart. Looking down, you laugh at the face your niece is making. “And is that my Lucy Goosey?” She smiles and preens, dancing in place the way only a five year old can. You lean down and scoop her up, propping her on your hip.

Lucy looks around, eyes big as she takes everything in. “Look!” She points at the stage and you nod.

“Yeah! That’s the stage.” You can see the band starting to wind down and Niall has his back to all of you as he talks with several people. “Do you know who that is?” You point at his back, giving her a chance to squint her eyes and shake her head. Leaning in, you whisper in her ear. “That’s Uncle Ni-Ni.”

Her eyes light up and she gasps and shouts. “Uncle Ni-Ni!”

On the stage, he turns and pretends to search the arena before he finds her and he jumps up and down a few times. “Luce!!” He shouts and comes running down the stage. Lucy giggles and bounces on your hip as he gets closer. “Well if it isn’t my best gal Lucy.” Niall shoots you a wink as he reaches the end of the catwalk. “Hello everyone!” He greets your family and they all respond.

Lucy continues to bounce, reaching for him on the stage. You meet his eyes and he nods as he leans down, so you walk over to the barrier and hand her to him. Once he’s got her on stage, he starts walking around, telling her all about the arena and what the show is going to be like.

“It’s just so amazing he’s playing here.” Arthur says, looking around the giant room. Him, Nate and Josh start talking about how many people can fit inside the room, looking thoughtful in a way only guys can about something you could easily google.

Your mom rolls her eyes at them, coming to put her arm around you as you watch Niall. “How you been, honey?” She asks.

Laughing, you wrap your arm around her. “Mom, we spoke two days ago. Not much has changed.” She just shrugs and smiles at you.

“Yeah but now you’re in New York and your boyfriend is playing this big arena. It’s so exciting, I just thought I’d check in.”

You eye her curiously for a moment, but she just continues to smile, turning her glance to Niall and Lucy. Glancing back and your brother and step dad, you lean into her, whispering, “Charlie didn’t want to come?”

Her smile goes a little thin as she meets your eyes and simply shakes her head. Nodding, you take a deep breath and count to five, eyes focused on the edge of the stage. Your mom tightens her arm around you. “Charlie,” she sighs. “Well, she’s still figuring it out, sweetheart. I told her it wasn’t fair to you, this silent treatment, but she’s as stubborn as they come.”

You focus back on Niall, who’s listening to Lucy babble in his ear, but is watching you intently. You paste on a smile, because all of this is for him. Niall is what matters right now. “At least she let Lucy come.”

“Oh, wild horses couldn’t have kept Lucy Goosey from her favorite Aunt and her Uncle Ni-Ni.” You laugh at that and notice the tension ease just slightly out of Niall’s body. “Now, how about we all get some lunch?”

————————

After lunch, you and Niall head back to your hotel to change and have a little bit of time to yourselves before the show.

Niall lays down on the couch immediately, shoving his hat off and just closing his eyes. You plop down in the chair, pulling off your sneakers and socks. Brow furrowed, you stare at the blank tv screen.

“Can hear ya tinkin’, love,” Niall mumbles, eyes still closed.

You’d roll your eyes if it wasn’t so endearing how well he knew you. “It’s nothing.” You murmur. Lifting his head up, Niall opens both eyes to look at you. You stare at each other for a minute and your leg starts to bounce. He refuses to relent, only lifting a brow at you. You do actually roll your eyes this time, slumping further down into the chair. “I’m just thinking about my family.”

He nods, relaxing back into the couch, still watching you. “It’s nice they’re here.”

“It is. I’m really happy they came. I just wish…”

“You just wish Charlie were here?” He guesses.

Nodding meekly, you play with the frayed edges of your shirt. “Or that she’d talk to me, you know?”

With a deep sigh, Niall pulls himself off the couch and leans on the arm of the chair, his hand rubbing soothingly on the back of your neck. “I know, love. But Charlie is gonna do her own ting and it’s honestly better that she isn’t here if she’s not ready.”

“Yeah,” You sigh, leaning your head on his hip. “It just sucks.”

“It does.” He agrees.

The two of you sit there quietly for a few more minutes. Finally, you lean back and look up at him, your hand gripping his calf. “You should go take a nap. Recharge your batteries for tonight. Can’t have a tired pop star on stage.”

He smiles at you, eyes crinkling in the way that makes your heart hurt. “You wanna nap wit me?”

“I think I’m gonna go for a walk. Grab some more coffee. I can bring you back something if you want?”

Eyeing you for a moment, he nods and leans down to kiss your forehead. “Just do me a favor, take someone wit ya, ok?” When he pulls back, his eyes are mischievous.

You chuckle, pulling away to stand up so you can step between his legs and wrap your arms around his neck. “I got lost one time, Niall James. One time!”

“One time too many for me.” He responds, hands on your back as he pulls you closer for a thorough kiss.

——————

Your walk turns into just going down to the hotel cafe. You order an iced coffee and find a cozy space to sit and just watch the city moving outside the windows. It’s probably dangerous for you to be so alone with your thoughts, but you’d rather be here than feeling like you’re bringing Niall down with your mood.

As the city bustles by, you think about the last time you and Charlie had really talked.

“Ok, but you have to give us some space here, Horan.” You say, hands on your hips in Niall’s closet. “I’m going to be here for the whole summer, I want to put my clothes away.”

Niall stands in front of a set of drawers, arms crossed. “Ya have some space babe. I gave you a whole section right dere.” He points and you scoff.

“Niall, I have three suitcases of stuff. That five inches of space is not going to be enough.”

He rolls his eyes and glares at the bags in question like they’ve offended him. “Don’t know why you brought so much stuff. Not gonna be wearing a lot this summer if I have anyting ya say about it.”

“Oh my god!” You laugh, annoyed at the smirk on his face. “Niall James, just make some more room or I’ll do it myself and I won’t be neat about it.” The two of you stare at each other for a minute before he rolls his eyes and relents.

“Fine. I’ll take some of this stuff down to a guest room for now. Still tink you brought too much.” He grabs another small section, huffing and grabbing a bit more at your pointed look before he sticks out his tongue at you and leaves the room.

Feeling triumphant, you start going through your clothes, hanging some items and folding others for the drawer he so graciously cleared out.

“What is he gonna do if we ever move in together?” You mutter to yourself. Your head whips up, just to confirm he hasn’t heard you before you continue. You and Niall had been official for almost five months, so you weren’t out here trying to put any pressure on.

You’ve just unzipped your second case when your phone rings and you grab it, answering without checking the ID and putting it on speaker. “Hello?”

“Hey sis.”

Charlie’s voice stops you cold. The two of you have had very little interaction since she’d decided to divorce Josh. Mostly on Charlie’s side as you’d done quite a bit of reaching out. From what your mom had told you, your sister was convinced pretty much everyone had taken Josh’s side in everything and there was no point in talking further on it. As if that would be the only reason you wanted to talk to her. You quickly check the date, noting you’ve still got a week before her projected due date.

“Hey,” you say, trying not to sound hesitant. “How are you?”

Charlie sighs. “Very pregnant.” You both chuckle softly at that and you’re happy you can still have a moment like that with her.

“I bet. How is my little niece to be?” You ask, quietly going back to unpacking.

“You’re so convinced it’s gonna be a girl?” She asks.

You shrug and then remember she can’t see you. “I don’t know why. I just feel like you’re baking a girl in there.” Charlie laughs a bit at that. “Niall’s convinced it’s a boy, though I’m not sure why, he just says it’s his intuition, although I’m not sure where he thinks he gets this intuition from.” Charlie doesn’t respond and you check the phone to make sure she’s still there. “Char?”

“So,” she says haughtily. “The Niall thing is still happening huh?”

It’s a good thing she can’t see you with the incredulous look you give the phone. “The Niall thing? What does that even mean?”

She groans in annoyance. “You’re still like trying to make it with him or whatever?”

“I mean I’m in a relationship with him, so I guess you can say it like that if you want.”

“Ok,” Charlie scoffs and you know your face shows your annoyance. “But how long do you really think your ‘relationship’ is actually going to last, huh?” The way she says it makes you feel gross, like this thing that is exponentially important to you is just some piece of garbage she found on the side of the road.

Several hangers click together loudly when you shove a dress on the rack. “What the fuck does that mean, Charlie? Are you like rooting for my relationship to fail?”

“I am just being realistic here, sis,” she counters and it’s your turn to scoff. “You’ve been friends how long and it took all this drama and nonsense for him to come to his senses? Be for real.”

“And you know what about my relationship, Charlie? When is the last time you actually asked me something about myself or how I’m doing?” You’re mad now, practically flinging clothes into your drawer.

“I’d say I know more than you considering I’ve been married and it didn’t take a stupid scandal and another woman for Josh to see he wanted me.”

Everything stops and you just stand there for a minute, breathing deep with your back to the phone. “An expert on marriage but you’re getting divorced?” Your tone is biting and you mean it to be. The two of you have always fought fire with fire.

She’s breathing heavily over the phone now and a small part of you worries about her stress, but you refuse to be bulldozed by her. “You don’t know shit about my life and my situation, Y/N. But have fun with your little pop star fling and when he finally decides he’s really done with you, don’t come crawling to me for sympathy.”

You don’t need to check the phone to know she’s ended the call. You stay there, staring into a messy drawer full of items you’re going to have to refold and taking deep breaths. How does every conversation with your sister go so left so quickly these days?

“Well, I see what Josh was talkin’ ‘bout,” Niall’s voice startles you and you whip around to find him leaning against the doorway, arms crossed and an annoyed look on his face.

Your hand comes up to your chest, heart racing. “God, Niall, announce yourself or something. I’m gonna have to get you a freaking bell this summer.”

He just shrugs and gives you a tight lipped smile. “Sorry, darlin’.”

Going back to the drawer, you glare at the mess you made. Suddenly, you turn and look at him. “Wait, what did you mean ‘what Josh was talking about’? When did you talk to Josh?”

“Yesterday.”

He ignores your questioning stare and you huff in annoyance turning back to your drawer. “Since when are you and Josh all buddy-buddy? What do the two of you even have to talk about?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” His reply is just sarcastic enough that it pushes you closer to the edge you know you're teetering towards. “There’s dis one person we both love dat I’m pretty sure we could bond over. I’ve also known Josh almost as long as ‘ve known you, if ya care to remember dat.”

You press your fingers over your eyes, mentally willing this petty argument away, but knowing you’re too wound up to stop. “Fine, whatever. So you and Josh talk about me and talk about Charlie and do what? Compare and contrast?”

Niall’s face twists in confusion. “What?”

“You know, comparing experiences, trying to figure out if I’m going to turn out like her.”

“Dat is not what’s happenin’.”

You’re ignoring him at this point. “If you’re that worried about it—“

He groans. “What are ya on about?”

“I can just go.” You say, fully turning back to face him. Niall looks…dumbfounded. But this, this is what’s been eating at you and Charlie’s phone call has just finally caused the word vomit. You’re shaking, desperately trying to hold everything else in, every bad thought you’ve had, all the tears you want to cry, as he just stares at you.

Finally, he takes a deep breath and steps towards you. One hand reaches out to you and you jerk slightly as he grips your hand and pulls you towards him. His other hand cups your neck, fingers brushing softly into your hair. With a shaky sigh, you lean forward and bury your face in his neck, circling your arms around him, gripping tightly. His other hand rubs the small of your back and you both relax into each other.

“I’m sorry. Fuck, I’m so sorry Niall.” You mutter into his neck, eyes squeezed tightly shut.

“I know, love. It’s alright. Gonna take some gettin’ used to, all of dis. Everyting with Charlie and Josh and being an us, ya know?” His breath ruffles your hair. “We’re not gonna do dis though. No more fightin’. Not over shit like dis. We’ll talk to each other. And, hey, look at me,” he pulls back just enough, meeting your eyes, hands on either side of your face. “You’re not goin’ anywhere. I want ya here.” You nod. “And you’ll talk to your therapist ‘bout dis, yeah?”

You giggle a bit, sniffling. “Yeah, I promise.”

Niall nods and leans forwards, lips meeting yours sweet and slow. He pulls back slightly and presses a few wet kisses into your cheek and neck before huffing. “Now, you’ve made a right proper mess of dis drawer, so let’s get dat taken care of.” His words have the desired effect and you laugh against his shoulder.

The vibration of your phone brings you back to the present and you’re shocked that you’ve been sitting in the cafe for almost two hours. Checking your notifications, you notice a few texts from Niall.

Opening them, you chuckle at the ridiculously rumpled, grumpy faced bed head selfie he’s sent you and read his message:

Pre show nap: 🤘

Waking up with no girlfriend to

cuddle: 😣

Well it’s a good thing your girlfriend

is about to be on her way upstairs to

remedy that for you

You want me to bring you a tea or

anything?

No thank you love, I’ll get one

when we leave for the show. All

I want right now is you in my

bed

Aye, aye captain

Oh babe, you know what that kind

of talk does to me 😉

💋

Niall looks up from the bed when you come through the main door, back against the headboard with his shirt off and the covers bunched at his waist. He smiles. “Der she is.”

“I am at your service, my good sir.” You say, dropping your stuff on the side table and sitting on the bed.

“Ooh, first I was captain, now I’m sir?” Niall jokes, tugging on your arm until you're straddling him. “Damn I’m a lucky guy.”

You laugh, burying your hands in his hair and mussing it further. “You really are, Horan.” He just smiles up at you, hands stroking your thighs. “We need to pack, don't we?” Niall grimaces and nods at you. With a groan, you pull away, struggling slightly as Niall tries to keep you on top of him.

“I wanted cuddles!” He whines, arms circling you, holding you tight while his head rests on your chest.

“I promise you can have all the cuddles you wanted after the show, on the bus.” Grabbing his head, you attempt to pull him up, yelping when he refuses to be moved and his teeth nip at the skin of your chest. The two of you wrestle with each other for a few moments and you’re both laughing when you finally manage to roll to the end of the bed. “Come on babe. Let’s get this done so you can go be a big superstar and play yet another sold out show at Madison Square Garden.” He continues to pout at you, and you check the time on your phone with an eye roll. “Alright,” you climb back over him. “Thirty more minutes and then we have to get up, Niall James.”

Smiling widely at you, he nods and his arms wind around you again. “Dat’s plenty of time, darlin’.” And then you’re squealing as he lifts you, shoving you back on the bed so he can crawl over you, his mouth meeting yours.

——————

There haven’t been a lot of times that you’ve been in the audience for one of Niall’s shows. Your preference has always been being backstage, but with your family here, you end up in the suite that had been set aside. It’s a good time, hanging out with Niall’s family and friends and watching them interact with yours.

Nate, Josh and Mully seem to be talking about golf and Arthur is bonding with Deo of all people which would make you nervous if your brother wasn’t so very level headed.

Your mom and Lucy are up towards the front of the suite, dancing to the music playing as the arena waits for Niall to take the stage. Checking your phone, you note that he should be coming out within the next ten minutes and you feel a little antsy not getting to be back there with him as he goes on.

Mully must sense your weirdness because he comes over, throwing his arm around your shoulders. “Ya alright love?” He asks, smiling at you.

“I am.” You say, smiling at him.

“Bet ya wish you were back der with him, huh? Instead of out here with us lot.” That makes you laugh and Mully squeezes you with a smile on his face.

“Not gonna lie,” you reply. “I do like being back there with him. But this view isn’t so bad.”

He takes a few sips of his beer, gazing out at the arena. “Yeah it really isn’t so bad, huh?” The both of you grin, sharing a moment of pride for Niall before Mully does what he does best. “But you’ll be glad once lover boy is out here, shakin’ it for ya.”

He laughs and almost spills some of his beer when you shove at it. “God, fuck off Mully.” You’re laughing and several other people in the suite are joining in, knowing whatever Mully did, he more than likely deserved your annoyance.

Finally, “The Chain” starts playing, MSG erupting in cheers as the fans know what that means. You join your mom and Lucy up towards the front and you just have to pull out your phone to film the crowd singing along as they get ready for Niall to come out.

As always, once the lights go out, it’s deafening. With a glance at Lucy, you double check that her protective headphones are in place as the opening of The Show: Live on Tour starts projecting across the curtain.

Niall is a dream on stage. The outfit choice alone is enough to get you a little worked up.

“Oh my god.”

Niall looks up, glancing at you in the mirror of his dressing room. “What’s up babe?”

You just stare at his back for a minute. “Niall…”

He turns to look at you. “What?”

“You look like a 90s heartthrob, what the fuck?”

His smirk grows and he crosses his arms over his chest and your eyes move over his arms. “Oh yeah? Am I gettin’ ya worked up over der?”

Leaning your head back, you close your eyes. “I hate you.” Niall laughs loudly.

It’s clear Niall is in a good mood again tonight. He’s a little less talkative and definitely a little less emotional than the night before. Even from up in the suite, you catch him throwing waves and winks in your direction and you know several are meant for Lucy, who waves enthusiastically back every time.

The band starts setting up for the acoustic set and Niall spends a minute talking to the crowd before they start to play. You typically know what the setlist is going to look like before the show, so you are absolutely floored when he starts playing “Paper Houses”. It’s your absolute favorite song, something he knows, and suddenly you’re just mouthing the words as you start to cry.

They’re happy tears. Grateful for how far the two of you have come. Proud of him for how far he’s come. You’re so in love with this man, it almost hurts. He’s sitting down, playing the guitar and he glances in the direction of your suite. Logically, you know there’s no way he can actually see you, but you don’t care. You blow him a kiss and lay your hand on your heart, hopeful that he just knows.

—————

It’s almost weird being back on the bus, despite the fact that you’d only spent two nights in the hotel in New York.

After the show had ended, you and your family had gone backstage and spent some time with Niall and the band. It had been a big group, family and friends for everyone just celebrating. In truth, all you’d wanted to do was get your boyfriend alone.

Finally, everyone had started to shuffle out and the band had started to make their way out to the buses. You and Niall had loaded onto yours, making your excuses about wanting to be alone, heading to the bedroom in the back. You and Niall had taken a shower together, mostly just to be close as the tour bus showers weren’t really big enough for anything too exciting.

Afterwards, you’d spent a very long time showing Niall just how proud you were of him, how much you loved him. In the end, it left both of you sweaty and shaking as you lay there. The tv was on, reruns of something neither of you were paying attention to playing with the sound off, the light flickering over both of you tangled in the sheets.

With a sigh, you adjust until you’re laying on your stomach, ear over Niall’s heart. The steady thump is soothing and you close your eyes. “You played my favorite.” You say softly, running your fingers up and down his chest.

His chest rumbles as he hums. “I did. Wanted ta surprise you.”

“Definitely a surprise.”

He shifts a bit under you, the arm behind you wrapping over your shoulders. “Ya liked it?”

You lift your head to meet his eyes. He looks so soft and rumpled and you swear it actually tugs at your heart. “I loved it.”

“Good.” He smiles and you lean down to press a kiss to his peck before you lay your head back down. The two of you lapse back into silence and Niall’s breathing slows enough that you think he’s fallen asleep. You’re slowly drifting off, body and mind content, when he squeezes at your shoulder. “Hey, you asleep?”

“Not yet.” You breathe out.

“Come ‘ere.” The two of you shift and sleepily work together until you’re further up the bed, legs tangled, your head on Niall’s upper arm as you face each other.

Reaching your hand up, you rub at his scalp and run your fingers down the side of his face. “What’s going on, honey?”

“Just wanted to look at ya.” He says softly and if you weren’t already a puddle from earlier, you’d honestly melt at the look in his eyes. “I love you, ya know dat?”

You smile at him. “I think I’ve heard it a few times.” His lips twitch up slightly. “I love you too. So much, Ni.”

His free hand caresses your waist, curling around your hip and drawing your body that much closer. The two of you lay there in silence and your eyes drift shut as you listen to him breathe. He takes a deep breath, tangling his fingers with yours.

“Marry me.”

Your eyes flutter open, meeting the startling blue of his. His gaze is resolute and you swallow against the emotions building in your chest. “Are you-?”

“Don’t ask me if ‘m sure. I’ve never been more sure of anyting in me life.” His hand leaves your hip in favor of cupping your cheek. “There is nothing more I want than to spend da rest of my life wit you. I want ta experience every good moment with you. And I want to experience every bad moment wit ya too. I want everything with you. Your name is branded all over me heart, darlin’ and I’d rather carve it out than ever be without ya.” You sniffle and Niall smiles as he wipes a few tears off your cheek. “So, Y/N, marry me?”

You smile, nodding into his arm. “Yes.”

Niall’s face lights up and he pulls you in tighter, fingers gripping your flesh hard enough to bruise, but you don’t care. “Yeah?” He asks breathlessly.

Hands on either side of his face, you lean in and kiss him, both of you gasping into each other. You pull back slightly, your nose brushing his as you smile at him.

“Yeah.”

——————

A/N: And there we have it kiddos. Flicker of Hope is officially over.

…Unless I suddenly get inspired or one of you gives me a prompt I fall in love with lol. It was never not going to end this way for me. These two were always end game.

I hope you liked it ❤️

[nekopuff]

.

[phan-and-dil-tears]

15 years since these gay disasters met in person for the first time. Now they’re on their third world tour, living together in a house they designed, and living their best lives being with and doing what they love

[miharuhebinata]

when the fuck are they gonna announce a new tomb raider game

[cerbreus]

Literally nothing makes me more irritated than some guy I hardly know being fucking passive aggressive with me over trivial stuff. What the hell is up with these Minnesotans being knee jerk passive aggressive the second you aren't the most enthusiastic excited person alive..... 🙄🙄😮‍💨

[br1ghtestlight]

this is so funny to me actually bcuz this is 100% how i talk abt my characters ages. i know what YEAR they were born and i know what rheir ages are supposed to be at the start of the story but i dont actually know when it takes place?? im really bad at math. There was a moment where rainbow was supposed to be 23 and i somehow accidentally made her 17 lmfao

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

its called development hell for a reason

[eddiediaaz]

"i'm glad i can make you feel so good, you make me feel super good too. ooey and gooey and mushy and shit haha"

"i just want you to like me and feel special and that i'm thinking of you cause i am and you are"

"real feelings are starting to develop"

WHAT IS GOING ON WHAT IS GOING ON

IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME FORREAL WTF

[a-walking-fandom-reference]

what my parents want my adhd meds to do: make me super motivated and focused on chores, activeness, and taking care of myself

what my adhd meds actually do: make me able to hyperfocus on memorizing entire barbie lines, play dreamlight valley, and create a timeline for the diaz family’s life and expand on my complex headcanons for the diaz sisters to the point where i spend hours researching texas colleges

[marigolian]

Me, whose oshi was Ike: Hmm, maybe I should check on updates about Selen, I hear there have been some new developmen-

[stellardeer]

i have to come to terms with the fact that I am actually well off for someone in this country now, like.. idk it's weird

i'm still living the exact same lifestyle that i was before, so for the most part it feels almost like nothing has changed, like maybe im spending a little bit more money on food and buying the "good" toilet paper, but all that does is allow me to actually have savings in my bank account

i still stand with the working class and impoverished people of this country, and I am very much still in the boat of "one [very] bad day from homelessness" so i am not taking this for granted whatsoever

i've just been watching some of those youtube channels where they interview random people all over the country and just like.. kinda show what their life is like and it's definitely putting mine in perspective

very very grateful for the opportunities i have had and very proud of myself for forcing myself to stay in college (even tho it took almost 10 years to finish and left me with a mountain of debt) and just like.. idk, i feel like i could be doing more to help people out, i can't wait til im out of debt ;o;

[irritablepoe]

BRUH, no way this dude forgets my bday and now he sends a tiktok like.

[angstandhappiness]

FUCKING YIKES, THE HYPOCRISY

[marinecorvid]

also i think summer pokemonranger is a person people lose their minds over. not necessarily in a romantic way but she's very (unwittingly) good at existing as a replica and/or mirror that dredges up feelings in people, oftentimes who would prefer not to think about said feelings and so for lack of emotional maturity people tend to freak out both around and at her over it. unfortunate side effect of being incredibly sincere, despite her best efforts

[puredustedrain]

It's my 7 year anniversary on Tumblr

I've had Tumblr for longer than any social media and I keep returning to this hellsite.

I love it, so much, but oh my GODS. Y'all have seen my horrors (old art work) and I got no idea how to feel about that

[rose-tinted-nostalgia]

I had to tell my manager, borderline in tears, that I had to go home just minutes after clocking into my second shift after finally returning to work this week because my son’s father is so incapable of watching his own children that he had a tantrum until I came home. But I got to dance in the kitchen with my kids while my oldest very proudly made pancakes all by himself, and although I sobbed the entire way home, seeing my children smile at me with that much love almost made me forget it.