#it’s because i want them to be complete and edited before posting anywhere

[touchlikethesun]

how do i know im stressed about work? i have been feeling the urge to podfic again

[somewhereincairparavel]

percy had an 'im a big three son' moment when he choked a goddess with her own saliva (controlling a fluid that was INSIDE her body) annabeth was terrified.

nico had an 'im a big three son' moment when he disembodied bryce lawrence (quite literally dissipating and shrinking his LIVING soul into a spirit) and threw him to the underworld, smashing his zombie warriors. reyna was terrified.

yet we were robbed of jason's 'im a big three son' moment where he sucks the air out of someone's lungs and makes them stop breathing, or damaging a person's nervous system with his lightning control, and literally cause internal bleeding, or a damaged/fried skull if he electrocuted hard enough (look up the effects of lightning damage on body y'all will get a whole list, tbh he doesn't even need lightning to do any of this, air control is more than enough since air takes charge of everything going inside the body, but this is just an added effect.) he could give people STROKES if he wanted to. he's the literal definition of burnt out kid who was suppressed from discovering the magnitude of his abilities, because one, his dad's ego wouldn't be able to handle it, two, because he, for some reason, can't be allowed to do anything other than get knocked out :/

also adding on, hardcore pjo fans know that after the ending page of boo, there's this fan story that rick chose to publish in the last few pages of the book where a fan reimagines the ending of hoo, in that work, annabeth collapses from an attack and percy sobs clutching her body. jason calmly asks him to step aside, and kneels before annabeth, jason regulates her breathing using his wind/lightning powers and brings annabeth back fully from her cardiac arrest, causing percy to be relieved. (I wanted to link the pics of the pages here so bad but I didn't have the hard copy of the book with me, and this isn't available anywhere online either, only in the original covers of boo uk and us version, so I edited this post and asked people to reblog this post w the pics if they have the hardcopy, and a kind blogger found the story I'm talking about and reblogged the pictures of the pages, you can check my reblogs of this post for the pictures of the almost all the pages after this scene) considering rick approved and even liked the fan's work well enough to publish it in the official boo book, I'd say rick was aware and never completely ruled out expanding jason's abilities and had them in mind, he simply didn't incorporate it into the books. (also W fan for giving jason the rep he deserves, I will always remember you, you saw the VISION before any of us did, the story was very well written, with great dialogue.)

[heartsforvin]

hi baby, so i was thinking about this earlier when i saw an edit of him but anyway,

what if the reader and vinnie have been dating for a couple months but privately, so on there social media’s there’s like no evidence that they’re in a relationship, and vinnie films that one video with tara and everyone starts shipping them and the reader gets pissed off and it causes a fight between reader and vinnie that possibly ends in smut? if you’re not comfortable with that you can adjust it and finish it however you want, but i was just thinking of this earlier and thought if anyone could bring it to life it would be you! <3 love youuu

MINE

thank you for the request ml <33 i hope you like it !!

pairing: vinnie hacker x fem!reader

warnings: smut, angst, cussing, use of pet names, arguing/ yelling, praise, slapping, if i missed anything lmk !

summary: when you see people start to ship vinnie with other girls online, you get a bit defensive but vinnie reminds you who you’re with

you and vinnie haven’t been together long, only a couple of months. both of you decided to keep your relationship private since you knew how his fans could get majority of the time when he’s seen with any girl.

you were upset when he brought up the proposition at first, but knew where he was coming from and respected his decision nonetheless.

it was the best thing to do, anyways. you had seen some pictures on his feed with girl friends from the past few years and saw how crazy his fanbase can get when he’s anywhere near a girl.

it upset you in some extent. you weren’t the type of girl to tell your boyfriend he can’t have friends that are girls.

however, you knew if the fans did know the two of you were together and he had posted about hanging with his friend group, he’d get backlash on it and drama would start up.

drama you did not need, nor want.

so the two of you stuck to yourselves, and you both couldn’t be happier.

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡

you were laying on your shared bed when vinnie came sprinting into the room with the biggest smile on his face.

“what’s got you so excited?” you ask as you sit up and wrap your arms around his waist.

vinnie pulls you up off the bed so you’re in his arms and he continues to smile until saying, “remember tara? we met her at that halloween party a few years back.”

you nod your head, remembering the girl well. “she just texted and told me she wanted to film a youtube video with me. it’s for her new series and so i thought you would be the first to know.

vinnie knew you weren’t the jealous type, at least not overly jealous. he knew you were his you he is yours and there was absolutely nothing to worry about.

he still felt the need to ask if he could film the video. he knew the fans might get the wrong impression, but tara was nothing more than a friend to not only him but the both of you.

“that’s so exciting, vin,” you tell him as you hug him tightly. “are you doing that now?”

he nods. “yeah, if that’s alright. i know we had plans to just hang out but she said this needed to be out soon and it’s the only day we’re both available.”

you smile with a shake to your head, completely understanding. “go ahead and have fun, baby. text me when you’re on your way back though, okay?”

vinnie agreed and kissed you softly before he grabbed his things and headed out the door.

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡

a day has passed since vinnie and tara filmed the video together and you and vinnie sat on your bed refreshing tara’s youtube channel.

since you didn’t go with him, you had asked vinnie if you could watch the video when it was posted.

he of course told you you could, but that he’d probably step out of the room just because he doesn’t like to watch the videos he’s in.

your smile grew once you saw the video pop up on the screen. vinnie clicked on it for you to watch while he went to go find hera.

once you finished the video you went to go see where vinnie went. you saw him cuddled up on the couch with hera.

“i loved it.” is all you said to the boy on the couch. he smiled and sat up.

“i know your favorite part was the tattoo on my weiner joke.” he said with a laugh.

you pushed his chest playfully and laughed with him. “no one will ever know besides me if that’s true or not,” you say. “i’ve looked though, you don’t have one there.”

vinnie smiled and pulled you into him. “you know all those things i said were just jokes, right?” he was referring to the jokes he made with tara.

the one where he had said he’s finding a more ‘private spot’ for them so she could see this alleged tattoo.

you nodded as you brushed through his hair with your fingers. “i know they are,” you said. “just wondering what the comments will be like.”

that’s what led you to the next few hours. you didn’t expect the day to turn out like this at all.

you had mistakenly read the comments of the video and on tara’s instagram post promoting it. comments that were shipping him and tara together, saying how cute they’d be and so on.

as much as you wanted to stop reading them, it’s like you couldn’t. they were consuming you, making you more angry by the second.

“i bet you after they stopped filming he took her somewhere private.” you read aloud.

you hear vinnie scoff, making you look up from your laptop. “you know that’s not true.” he said.

you lower your head and read more. every time you refresh more come in. it’s like you couldn’t stop even if you wanted.

“they keep shipping the two of you.” your voice is so low vinnie can barely hear it.

you knew this would happen, but seeing it for yourself hurts more than hearing it.

even if the fans don’t know vinnie’s seeing anyone, it still hurts and angers you to see your boyfriend being told he’d look good with some other girl.

“shouldn’t have told you you could do it.” that peaks vinnie’s interest and his demeanor quickly changes.

you watch as he crosses his arms over his chest. “you knew this would happen. thought you said you can handle it?”

you sigh, getting frustrated with his use of words. you could handle it, you are handing it. it’s just the thought and seeing people pair him with someone else that gets you upset.

“i can handle it, thank you,” you scoff at your boyfriend. “i’m sorry the thought of my boyfriend being with another girl upsets me.”

with a roll to your eyes you start to walk away, but vinnie catches you before you make it too far.

“you have the right to get mad,” he says. “but you don’t need to be this mad over it. you knew what you were getting yourself into when we started dating.”

that sentence just frustrates you more. “they are too fucking obsessive over you!” you shout.

it was true, they could get a bit obsessive and overprotective, but vinnie had learned to ignore it most of the time.

“you know i’m right,” you breathe out. “everywhere i look it’s you getting paired up with someone you are standing next to, and suddenly everyone’s saying you’re dating them."

you sigh heavy and rub your hands over your face. you knew it was probably a dumb thing to get upset about, but vinnie was your boyfriend, not theirs.

“i don’t want any of them,” vinnie says in a harsh tone. “you know i only want you. do you need a reminder of that?”

the question suddenly shifts the mood in the room and suddenly your upset expression turns into a smile.

“you do, don’t you?” vinnie asks again. he closes in on you, wrapping his arms around your waist. “answer me, pretty. is that what you want?”

his breath on your ear makes you go cold. you feel his lips plant themselves on your neck, sucking just enough to let a bruise form moments after.

you nod your head and vinnie unwraps himself for you, pushing you lightly to your shared bedroom. you don’t even have to be told what to do next.

when he meets you in there, he’s met with the sight of you on your bed, smiling ear to ear once you see him.

“oh, now you’re happy?” his tone is almost condescending, making you wipe the smile completely off your face.

vinnie cocks his head, he watches as you scoot back on the bed and lift your hips to take off your shorts and panties.

he nods his head slowly with a smile. “good girl.”

you watch his next move carefully, not wanting to make him yell at you more. you watch as he pulls his shirt off, then unbuckles his pants and pulls them down next.

“shirt.” is all he says before you lift the hem of your shirt and pull it off.

you don’t have time to speak before he’s hovering over you and kissing you. his hands find their way to your tits and knead them in his palms, making you whine and dig your head in the pillow.

vinnie laughs when he feels your hips buck up into his. “you want this?” he asks.

you nod frantically as you tug at his boxers, needing him to have the same little clothing as you.

“please.” you say as you rake your nails down his bare chest.

vinnie smiles as he takes your hands and places them on the waistband of his boxers. you look up at him, eyes asking what you can’t, and he smiles and tells you yes.

he kisses you roughly once his boxers hit the floor and the two of you lie there naked. he lifts you up so his hands are on your back.

the kiss continues, without missing a beat vinnie takes himself in his hand and strokes a few times before lifting you up and setting you on his lap.

once your body makes contact with his, you can’t help but moan at the feeling of him inside of you.

“fuck,” he breathes out once he bottoms out inside you. “feel so good baby.”

you claw at his back as he thrusts deeper into you. vinnie winces at the contact of your nails scratching at his back.

you’re about to speak but before you can, vinnie lifts you off him and pushes you onto the back of the headboard.

“you wanna know who i want?” his tone is stern, making you smile even though you should probably do anything but.

nodding, you watch as he lifts your legs and wraps them around his shoulders. he carefully pushes himself into you before bottoming out.

you lift your head and vinnie immediately knows what you want. he leans his head down and meets you halfway, kissing you softly.

the two of you pull apart and his head leans back as he thrusts deep into you, eliciting moans from both of you.

“vinnie.” is all you can muster out as he continues his pace.

he smirks as he watches you lift yourself up, holding yourself up by your elbows.

“tell me what you want,” his voice deep as he speaks. “come on pretty girl, use your words.”

your body shakes when you feel his right and make contact with your right breast, smacking it just enough to elicit a moan of pleasure out of you.

“like that, huh?” he asks, completely forgetting what he said moments prior.

you nod as you watch his hand knead your breast, making you tilt your head back.

“vin.” his name slips from your lips in a whine, making vinnie smile.

his hand moves from your breast back to your thigh. his pace quickens and tears well into your eyes at the pressure of him.

vinnie pushes himself into you more until he sees the bulge form in your tummy. he chuckles as his hand makes contact with your lower stomach.

“baby, fuck.” his voice is strained. you look up at what he wants you to see and you smile.

you feel pressure on your stomach and look to see what your boyfriend could be doing.

“see that princess,” he breathes out. “see that? that’s all me.” he thrusts harder, pushing his hand against you.

a loud moan erupts from you which makes vinnie smile. “that’s it pretty, let me hear you.”

his hand moves from your stomach to your clit, helping you reach your peak.

“vinnie, shit.” his thumb makes tight circles on your clit, making you cross your legs together against his back.

“i only want you princess.” he tells you. “i don’t want anyone else, alright? you’re mine, i’m yours.”

his thumbs fast pace and this thrusts is becoming too much for you, your moans are getting more high pitched as you feel your high approaching.

“come on baby, be a good girl for me.” he kisses your hip which only makes you squirm at the feeling.

after a few more thrusts and rubs to your sensitive clit, you don’t have time to warn him before you’re cumming all over him.

“that’s it,” he says as he helps you ride out your high. “good girl.”

you’re panting and smiling up at him as you watch vinnie slowly pull out of you after a moment.

you sit up completely snd kiss him roughy, smiling once you pull away.

“do you believe me now?” he asks you, you chuckle and smile at him before kissing him softer this time.

you nod your head. “i think i need one more refresher though.”

vinnie laughs and tackles you so your laying flat on the bed. “you’re insufferable sometimes.”

you push his chest. “oh you’re so getting it.”

before vinnie can speak you get the strength to flip him over and now you’re the one hovering over him.

“now it’s your turn to be good for me.” you say with a smirk.

girl this has been in the works for days and idk how to feel about it 😣 i hope you all like it !! thank you for the request again <3

tags: @anqeliclust , @cosmicanakin , @42internetgirl , @leqonsluv3r , @bernelflo , @slvthrs , @lovelysturnioloos , @lovingsturniolo , @pepsicolapussy333 , @visualbutterflysworld , @hallecarey1 , @laylasbunbunny , @0strawberrysorbet0 , @defnotayonna , @supabhad , @kayleighh , @kriissy4gov

[lamentofabramo]

Can I get an NSFW alphabet for Tobias Rogers (ticci toby) 🫶

I've been doing a bigger piece, so I might as well do something smaller like this since it's been a good while since I've posted now. (oops)

I'm basing this less on the fandom vers of him, hopefully.

Didn't proofread this much. (edit: I feel bad that I didn't acknowledge the heart, so <3 of course you can doll)

MINORS DNI

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) Toby obviously is one of the more caring of the creepypasta's, of course that's a low bar, but he is considerably more human than some of them. He's still gruff and fairly untalkative after the deed, yet he'd offer some water before leaving if you were just a one-off/ casual fuck.

If you were his partner however, I'd imagine he'd be more caring, still untalkative and unaffectionate, but maybe he'd hold you or hold your hand in this. Of course, he'd blame this on being unable to properly feel what he's holding, but the slow decrease in his twitches as he holds you speaks a lot more than he ever will. He's not comfortable, but he feels slightly less stress in your presence, at least until he has to leave, his mind penetrated by the voice of the foreboding presence of the ever-taller man.

B = Body part (their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) His own favourite body part would probably be his arms, he was a scrawny kid for most of his life, but you sure would start gaining muscle if you swung your axe at people who you considered worthy of it. There's probably also some scars across his arms that remind him of his life before. Of course, he'd hate that idea, but he still has some attachment to his sister, his mother, no matter how hard he may try to push it out of his head.

For his favourite part of his partners, I feel like it'd most likely be your waist. It's something for him to grab, to hold onto to remember you're real, that you're still alive against his better judgement.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) If you asked for it in a specific place, sure he'd do it if he was in a good mood. On your chest, ass, inside even. He'd risk it, he had nothing to truly lose anyway. But his favourite place would most likely be on your stomach, just the wet streaks across your stomach would do things for him. He's not sure why either, he wouldn't register that he does that almost every time unless you pointed it out to him.

If you did, he'd probably consider why for a second, his eyes widening in realization before shrugging. "Any better ideas?" he'd mumble, absently listening as he stroked himself. Toby would listen if you told him anywhere else, but… his eyes focused on that smooth surface.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) He secretly wants to push the boundaries of his condition. He wants your hands around his neck, trying to choke him until it hurt. It was strange really, he had a high pain tolerance, yet he craved this pain. Maybe it was because he wanted to be normal, maybe not. He didn't want to think too hard on it, like many other things he just shrugged at the idea and continued with his life.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?) Toby was definitely not an experienced guy, even before the accident where he finally became 'free' (If you could say being slenderman's lackey was free) the most he'd done was hold hands with a girl in primary school.

He wouldn't be insecure with it however, he never viewed himself as a sexual being, the most he'd ever fucked was his fist on particularly rough nights. Sure, he'd had crushes on women, but when you become a serial killer you go one of two ways. A sex maniac or a complete recluse. Unfortunately, Toby became the latter.

However, since he had a less than regular childhood, he was never able to go through the same sexual awakenings as many of his peers. Instead, that most likely came later, so when he met you he was awkward, like a teenage boy. Most of his language is through grumbles and grunts anyway.

When he realized you were stuck in his head it all changed though, his sex drive increased massively. His poor hand.

F = Favourite position (this goes without saying) Cowgirl probably rocks his world, he loves that intense eye contact that comes with it. The way he looks up at you through his fringe, his mouth slightly open as he pants and grunts, is a reward in itself. However, he would get impatient, his hips thrusting up to meet yours or his arms wrapping around your waist to pull you down further on his cock.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) If something was funny to him, then he'd smirk, like if you hid your body from him even though he was about to be deep inside of you.

When he gets further into the activity, he'd let out breathless laughs, sometimes blaming that on his tics. He couldn't help it, though, he loved the way you responded to him.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) Toby probably doesn't care much about how groomed he is, sometimes he'll shave, but other than that he's got whatever going on.

He has a small happy-trail up to his belly button though, it shows when he raises his axe too high. It's a dark brown colour, just like his hair.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? The romantic aspect) He's probably not particularly intimate, maybe some words here or there if he feels like it, but don't overestimate him too much. He probably came inside you before he kissed you.

His cheeks pinken slightly whenever you suggest kissing, but he quickly slouches and looks away with an almost childish pout to pretend as though he doesn't care.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) Like I said in the earlier one, sure he jacked off every now and again, but it was more so a way to pass the time, to get some serotonin in his ever-pleasant life. But when he gets fixated on something, or rather in your case, someone, his sex drive spikes. He wants you in his hands, in his vice, it frustrates him, so he takes this frustration out on himself.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) He's probably degrading, mixed with praise. He's basically up for anything. He's killed someone, I'm sure a weird kink won't kill him.

However, if he does think your kinks are unusual he will take the piss out of you for it, teasing, but he still takes part in it. Its fun.

L = Location (favourite places to do the do) Wherever you want, he's not arsed, really. Against a tree sounds the most fun.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) As cheesy as this sounds, you. Maybe some aggression on your side would get him going too, that mouth of yours was lethal sometimes.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs) Like I said before, he's practically up for anything. He might not be physically aggressive for you too much, though, it'd remind him of his past.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) He's a munch, if he's in the mood enough, he could probably cum from giving you head. He'd deny that though, God that'd be embarrassing.

Not only that, but he'd receive too, no doubt, Toby would find it fun to just gently tug your head up and down on his cock.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.) Toby would probably be slow but deep if he's teasing you. But if he's just fucking you, then it'd be fast, his hands pulling you down on his cock with faster speed.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) Hell yeah brother. Just give him the words, he might tease you for it, but he'd never say no (unless he's in a more depressive mood).

He'd love to fuck you in the back of his car too, or masky's car. Just for the hell of it.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.) He's a risky guy, but surprisingly, he wouldn't do anything that could get him potentially caught by the law. He's on the run for a reason, he's not willing to risk his freedom for a good fuck (sometimes).

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?) He'd probably like to overstimulate slightly, 2/3 rounds before he's clocked out and completely dry. He'd last an average enough time, 20 minutes normally.

T = Toys (do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?) Seeing your body twitch with something that isn't him would make him jealous. However, a little vibrator never hurt anyone. He'd tease you if you had any dildos or anything, though, asking pettily if he "wasn't enough" or that you were "stretching yourself out" for him.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) Big tease, but he always fulfils your wants. It may take a while, though.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) The only noise he really makes is grunting and whispers on how dirty you are. He's loud enough that you can hear him, but not loud enough for it to be a full-blown moan.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) He does want to see how you'd look crying for him all bloodied up, most likely someone else's blood, but he's not picky. Maybe fucking you on top of a recently deceased.

But he'd never admit that.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) An average to slightly bigger man, About 6.4 inches. Probably measured it one time when he was bored, and he hung onto the .4 for his ego.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) Not too high unless you exist, then…as much as he can get his hands on you.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) He doesn't sleep much after it, doesn't feel comfortable sleeping in front of others, even someone like you. His nightmares don't help.

[actual-changeling]

Muriel isn't a child, they're not stupid or immature, and they CAN take care of themselves—with that, welcome to Alex's unhinged meta corner, hinged edition.

We need to talk about Muriel, so let's dive right in.

Despite the way many people depict them, they are the exact same age as every other angel, fallen or otherwise, and treating them as lesser because their mannerisms and expressions don't match up with what you think an 'adult' should look like doesn't mean they aren't one.

Not to speak of the ableism that's inherent to that kind of thinking, and actually, you know what? Before I keep talking, I want to ask you a question.

It is very common to talk about Muriel as a 'child of divorce', being 'adopted' by Crowley, someone 'precious' that needs protecting, and a lot of titles and concepts along those lines.

The question is: If, say, Uriel were in their place—sent down to earth after not being there for more than five minutes ever—would you still call him everything you call Muriel now? Would you treat him the same way you're treating them?

Would you see him the same way, and if not, why?

The question is, if any other angel were in Muriel's position, would you also infantilize them the way you currently do with Muriel?

Feel free to actually answer that question on my post or in your own, because I am genuinely curious about the reasoning, especially behind 'no' as an answer.

Heaven completely neglected them just like they did with everyone else, they were completely alone in a big, empty white room with nothing but a glass desk and presumably a chair for six thousand years—and probably even longer than that. Having someone ask them a job-related question every couple centuries doesn't even BEGIN to scratch the surface of their social needs.

When they came down to earth, it was the equivalent of one's first day at a new job, at university, at school, anywhere you had not been before but now plan on being for a while.

You come across others that have been there for twenty years and look like omniscient gods from your point of view; they run the game while you don't even know which game you're supposed to be playing. This is one of the reasons why they read as autistic to many, including myself, because that's exactly what every social situation feels like to me. That's for another post, though.

Of course they're socially awkward and easily overwhelmed! They were dropped off in a capital city after—and let me emphasise this once more—being completely alone for millennia.

The highest of the angels ordered them to do a specific job, like, fuck, I'd be having a nervous breakdown in the lift and curl up in a corner for a few hours because that thought is terrifying. Especially because failure is not something heaven accepts. Especially because they know what happens to those who disobey or disappoint in whatever shape or form.

When we see them, it is in that exact situation—talking to their bosses that they've likely never talked to before, arriving in a new world, being around new people, in a new environment, new everything. It always reminds me of this quote from Modern Family.

Muriel was assigned a rank and job just like everyone else, and they deserve the same respect and acknowledgement for it as the Guardian of the Eastern Gate or the Archangels themselves. Muriel is probably really fucking good at what they do, they've had millennia of practice, but we simply never see them in their everyday situations. Give them some time and support, and they'll be up to speed in no time.

They are not a child—don't treat them like one.

[888-fr]

What are some of your favorite skins you've made?

I thought about the answer to this question for a very long time. I want to tell you a story about a skin that broke the site.

(I think this has been fixed now, which is the only reason I'm posting about it.)

Up until around March of this year, skin names weren't sanitized. I wasn't aware of this and continued to be unaware of this until the day I asked for my Valentine's pearlcatcher skins (named <3 and </3 respectively) to be renamed. Special characters often break when you submit them through the queue, so you have to go and ask the mods in the skroblems thread to fix apostophes for you so they display properly. I went and asked them to fix my pearlcatcher skin's names for me, since they weren't displaying correctly either. This lead, by accident, to the most interesting way I've gotten the site to break in a while.

My friend noticed first when they got a subscribed notification to my skin shop thread. They realized there were two pages that were completely gone.

Then they realized that the front page didn't look right either. My catalogue posts had completely vanished. Only to find... when you hovered over the thumbnail of the </3 skin's icon, my posts had hopped into the item description.

We experimented a little more before realizing this thing was... very, very powerful! You could put the skin into a den tab description, and it would put every single dragon in that tab into the space of the description box. You could break your userpage for ANYBODY on site. Your entire dragon could get swallowed up if you put it into their bio. And because the skin deleted the edit button, you couldn't get it back out.

Little did I know, the </ part of the skin name - when posted using [skin=skinid] or [item=skin: </3] - would act as an HTML tag anywhere it was posted, and completely mess up how the site displayed! I compiled everything I found and sent it into the bug forums and the contact team box for review. The thread got deleted almost immediately, confirming what I suspected: skin names aren't sanitized, and this could very easily be exploited with malicious intentions or SQL injects.

Luckily, they fixed it pretty quickly! I hope the way the site handles skin names has been updated now too. This sort of thing wouldn't have happened even if I had named the skin </3 or, god forbid, dropTable(); in the first place. I do think it was because I had the mods go in and edit the skin name that allowed the unclosed </ to display in the skin's item icon and then break the site.

So that's the story of one of my favorite skins I've made! <3 and </3 are now LOVE and LOVE(LESS) respectively. The designs themselves didn't sell too well, but for a glorious 16 hours, they contained all the power of little nuclear bombs detonating on various HTML-dependent sitepages.

[toomanythoughts2]

Dethklok Agere HCs: Toki Edition

🐰🐝🎸🎮🤡🐱🍭✈️🛼🎹🖍️🍼🍺💉🎁🤠🏎️🔫👯‍♂️🪽🌈🤮

I originally was going to do all of the members together in one post, but I realized after Toki that it was going to be obnoxiously too long for all five. So, I'm splitting them up into each member. Obviously, I had to start with my main man, Toki 🧸!

Everything is below the Keep Reading tab.

Toki

(My son, my pookie bear, my darling, my sunshine, my sweetheart, my Swiss cheese, my BABY!)

🧸 First, I think his age range is pretty narrow but the ages he falls into are drastically different headspace wise. Meaning, I think he can fall between a 2 to a 4, but how he acts as a 2 year old is a lot different than a 4 year old, so it's important to figure out what his headspace is before doing something.

🧸 Toki is a hitter!!! He canonically hits people in the show for attention and even hits Pickles in AOTD in the church. Having Toki show signs of realistic trauma-based regression is just so important to me, it makes me crazy! The boy is not well but he is working on it.

🧸 Speaking of which, Toki requires the most support regressing than any of his bandmates. He needs constant support from either the band (Pickles) or Charles (Listen, he never left in my eyes. THOSE ARE HIS BOYS, HE COULDN'T JUST LEAVE THEM!) Whether this means just babysitting when he's regressed and chilling or actively helping him complete physical or emotional tasks. He needs a lot of support in his regression.

🧸 Out of all the members, Toki's regression is the most recognized as age regression by the general, uneducated public. It's very obvious age regression. I say this because I think some of the other members regression is not recognized as regression at first glance, especially by outsiders. (Of course, within the band, they all know each other well enough to spot the signs.)

🧸 He wants to put everything in his mouth. The remotes all have screws in them now where the batteries are located and Pickles is constantly holding Toki's hands to keep them from grabbing stuff.

🧸 He utilizes supplies in his regression the most out of everyone in Dethklok. I honestly believe that Toki can go anywhere between baby bottles to an open cup (supervised), so his supplies are diverse and plentiful. I personally see him utilizing stuffies, specific clothes for regression, (canon) ear muffs, pacifiers, child friendly cutlery, child friendly arts and crafts, sensory supplies, and so many other odds and ends.

🧸 From what we see in AOTD with Pickles carrying a large duffle bag (alluding that it's for Toki), I do think that Toki uses diapers. HEAR ME OUT! I don't think it's all of the time, but I do think that if Toki regresses far enough, it would become a necessary part for him. (Homie is traumatized.) Pickles just knows what's up and is ready to care and defend his Norwegian baby brother.

🧸 He needs attention ALL OF THE TIME! Even if he doesn't necessarily want someone to be in his space, he still needs to know that they are available for him 100% of the time. (Playing by himself but won't let you leave the room without crying.)

🧸 Oh, he is the biggest crier in Dethklok (Skwisgaar is the second). He will cry if he hurts himself, he'll cry if he just finished his last piece of dinner he liked, he'll cry if he doesn't want someone to stop cuddling him. But he also cries over a lot of things he doesn't understand, like being triggered by sounds or phrases. The sound of a whip and an actual whip are not allowed on Mordhaus because of how scared Toki gets when he sees/hears one. (Aslaug, when I catch you, Aslaug.)

🧸 He will utilize his big blue eyes for treats. Do not be fooled, he's already gone to everyone in the band for the same treat and got one from them already. (Charles won't budge but he's gotten close.)

🧸 Loves to cuddle. Loves to be held. I mean, is this really a HC anymore, of course Toki loves to cuddle and be held. He's cuddling while playing, he's cuddling watching TV, he's cuddling while sleeping, he's cuddling while eating. He'll cuddle on the toilet if you let him. Nathan is the person Toki goes to the most for these cuddles because he's large, soft, and has a low bass rumble in his chest when he speaks that puts Toki to sleep instantly.

🧸 He can only play independently but wants to play with others. He just doesn't know how to do that yet. Pickles and Murderface have tried to join in on play time but it stresses Toki out too much. I HC this because Toki had no control over his environment as a child, so playing is a way for him to have that control. By having someone join in, it's inviting the inevitable that they might take over his environment. That alone makes him stressed because play time was the only time as a child that Toki had any control in, so it's going to be hard letting people in when he's regressed.

🧸 He is the bubble bath connoisseur. When he's big, he is spending time looking for new bubble baths, bath bombs, toys, all kinds of shit. He loves bath time, it's his favorite part of the day when he is small. It depends if Toki needs supervision/the level of supervision for bath time when he's small. He can go from needing help every step of the way to only needing help filling the tub and getting in and out. I do think he would love to have his hair played with and washed. To me, this is a Skwisgaar or Charles job. Pickles has tried but he's almost bald with dreads and has no idea how to wash hair anymore.

🧸 The lore he has with his stuffies is long, complex, and gory. He will NOT explain it though, it's too much of a hassle.

🧸 Speaking of, Toki does have very disturbing tendencies while regressed due to his trauma. I like to think he draws and colors a lot of his abuse and shows them to the band. I also think, while regressed, he falls into old fears about being punished, so if he does something that was "breaking the rules" when he was actually a child, he will completely spiral and hurt himself somehow. He also won't say anything if he is hurt because his injuries used to never be a big deal or were "deserved". Same thing with eating and drinking, he won't do them if he feels like he did something bad. I also think he "punishes" himself by stripping himself of his shirt and pants and laying somewhere cold (under a fan or on bathroom tiles), to mimic the feeling of the "Punishment Hole". The band is closely working with Dr. Twinkletits to keep tabs on all of this.

🧸 On a happier note, he loves to follow Skwisgaar around when he's regressed, and Skwisgaar doesn't mind too much. (He loves being Toki's favorite and gloats about it all the time to the other members.)

🧸 Stares. He loves to just look at people. It scares the band sometimes until they realize they can stare back and make Toki laugh.

🧸 He's a thumb sucker. I know it in my heart that he's sucking away on his grimy little thumb and Pickles is always yelling at him to get it out of his mouth. This only works half of the time because Toki just loves his thumb too much.

🧸 When he's too little to talk, he makes a lot of huffs and puffs to get his point across. Gets progressively less coherent the sleepier he gets.

🧸 He gets nightmares. Just like when Toki isn't small, he is plagued by nightmares. But, I do believe that if he goes to bed regressed, the daily activities ease him enough that he doesn't get them nearly as much or as bad as when he's not regressed.

🧸 He uses a nightlight. It's in the shape of a kitty head and casts a kitty shadow on the wall. His name is Elin.

🧸 Toki loves arts and crafts and usually has to have someone supervise him when he's in creating mode. (He will eat the uncooked macaroni and then get upset when there's none left to make his pictures.) He is no longer allowed unsupervised access to glue as he keeps trying to eat it. Scissors, he has no problem with.

🧸 Toki is known for some pretty explosive tantrums, which Pickles and Nathan have tried very hard to work Toki through so he doesn't end up hurting himself or others. He is known to hit, kick, bite, spit, and swear when he's upset. But a lot of it is superficial. Toki isn't aiming to hurt anyone or himself, he's just expressing his frustration in a physical manner that can harm people. He gets more upset after the tantrum when he realizes what he's done. The band can't be but too mad at him, he isn't in complete control. They've learned to help Toki work through his tantrums the best they can.

🧸 The band is not allowed to ignore Toki when he's regressed because that has been identified as a trigger for a tantrum. However, Toki has and can be put in 10-minute increment time outs to calm down from a fit or if the band needs to address someone else first. (Like, if Toki punched Skwisgaar in the nose, Toki knows he's not suppose to do that, so he gets put in time out while Skwisgaar gets his nose checked out.)

🧸 Murderface loves to teach Toki when he's regressed because he will sit and listen to him about everything. EVERYTHING! Even the most boring war battle facts, he will sit and listen. Pickles is a little worried about this because Toki is even more impressionable when he's regressed. He doesn't think Murderface would take advantage of Toki like this, but he isn't a fool. (Murderface would but only small things, like picking dinner plans.)

🧸 Murderface is also the only one that can play with Toki one-on-one the longest before it stresses Toki out. Murderface's improv during play time is funnier and more creative than the other members, but when it becomes too much improv, that's when it stresses him out and they have to stop. But before that, Toki is having the time of his life.

🧸 Toki refers to Pickles and Nathan as Mamma and Pappa. I believe that Toki had to refer to his parents in Norwegian as Mor/Far (Mother/Father) all of the time, but in English he just calls them Mom/Dad because it's easier to say. But Mamma and Pappa are informal terms and mean a lot more to Toki role-wise. They're like badges of honor. They earned those names by being the caregivers they are, before and after AOTD.

🧸 He wants all of the kisses! Forehead kisses, cheek kisses, head kisses, bed time kisses, good bye kisses, good morning kisses, hello kisses. He craves physical affection. And every time he gets a kiss, he stims happily. I also think he rubs that part of himself that got kissed because it "tingles" and he has to touch it.

🧸 After discussing whether Toki would use a crate or not, I think I like the idea of him having a permanent pillow fort in the corner of his room for when he wants some alone time the most. Or to decompress. Or if he's tired and wants to nap. Though, I am still down with the dog crate idea. Or the little kiddy tent! I love them all, honestly!

🧸 They have a playground installed on Mordhaus just for Toki. He loves the swing and will swing (or be pushed) for hours if you let him. He has gone through multiple swings in a short amount of time because of how much he swings. (This is projection. I have broken 4 swings due to swinging so much.)

🧸 Skwisgaar has inside jokes with Toki when he's small and only in Swedish. Toki giggles so hard when he gets a chance to whisper one of them to Skwisgaar that he almost cant get them out.

🧸 Toki has a bed time routine that he has to follow when he's small (with the help of his bandmates) because it helps him regulate his emotions and builds structure. The routine is simple: brush teeth, brush hair, wash face, go potty, get changed, pick out a bed time story, climb into bed. Nathan is the official bed time reader, but the band is usually with him when he's falling asleep. He needs his goodnight kisses otherwise he will be upset.

🧸 Toki loves having sleep overs in the other guys rooms. He loves Nathan's rooms the most because of the aquariums (low sensory, calming, general interest), then it's Murderface's because of the different devices in his room (low simulation and attention, general interest), then it's Skwisgaar's room because he has the window so he can see all the stars at night, then it's Pickles room. However, Pickles room is the coziest in Toki's opinion because Pickles is there, and he loves Pickles very much. He knows on one is going to get him in Pickles room.

🧸 Skwisgaar knows very little on how to cook, but the times he does cook, he utilizes Toki as a taste tester for his dishes. They have similar pallets, so Toki can accurately depict the dishes intended taste. Skwisgaar always sets him on the table and spoon feeds him whatever he is cooking (usually soup or stew) and asks for his opinion. Toki loves it and always asks for Skwisgaar to feed Deaddy Bear too.

🧸 Toki's age regression is public knowledge. He is unable to control when he regresses, so he has public appearances where he is regressed. This unfortunately meant that Toki had to address it to the press, despite Toki feeling uneasy about answering questions. They all know that the press love to ask intimate and personal questions, even if it makes him uncomfortable. The band and Charles were off to the side supporting him through out the whole press conference. After the initial interview, Charles would be the only one answering questions about Toki's regression, so that 1) Toki wouldn't have to do it and 2) Charles can't be bullied into giving out too much private information on the matter, he's a professional. This was greeted with mixed results at first but gradually turned positive as more information was readily understood by the public.

🧸 The Dethmoms have wavering opinions about Toki. Anja does not acknowledge it, or at least tries very hard not to acknowledge it. Toki does become scared around her when he's little and she knows that. Stella thinks most of it is made up and he's just looking for attention, but she does not outright ridicule Toki to his face. She'll play along for the sake of keeping him quiet. Servetta does not have an opinion either way, but she does like to dote on him from time to time (head pats, petnames) when she's able to get him to do something for her. Molly does not like it one bit and will not play along. She has gotten mad at Toki before and has "called him out" for it, but only to be met with 0 back up (Stella understands enough that Toki isn't her child, so it's not her place to call him out, only Anja's.) Rose is the only one in the group that absolutely adores Toki. She's read every book, every blog post, every piece of literature to try and make herself a safe space for Toki. Toki in return looks forward to seeing Rose and will ignore everyone in favor of her. Rose gives him all of the sugary sweet lovings that the boys can't quite give him, so they let him be coddled and coo-ed at from her. (Nathan isn't jealous of this at all.)

🧸 Toki has been known to hang out with Charles while he works. Sometimes he's as quiet as can be, completely oblivious to whatever Charles is doing. However, Toki has sat in Charles lap before just wanting to cuddle while Charles is on a phone call or web meetings. He has made multiple appearances during zoom meetings of just cuddling Charles or sleeping on his shoulder. The other members of the meeting have taken a regressed Toki in a meeting as a "Good Luck Charm" for whatever future endeavors they are about to talk/negotiate/revise about. They've even moved meetings forward/backwards with future partners when Charles has Toki in his lap because they have so much faith in his "Good Luck Charm" ability.

🧸 Charles has a board in his office just for drawings that the band has made while regressed. 95% of them are Toki's drawings though.

🧸 Abigail is still a big part of Toki's life, both regressed and not. I believe after the Metalocalypse, Abigail and Nathan did have a serious conversation about everything where Nathan apologizes for his behavior. Abigail accepts and the group + Abigail form a friendship. But a lot of it is between Toki and Abigail, where Abigail is able to take care or calm Toki down much easier and much faster than any one of them. Toki will wake up from nightmares demanding to call her to make sure she's ok, which she always answers. She understands Toki very well, and most of their time spent together is in quiet tranquility. He mainly just wants to cuddle with her and rest, sometimes babbling about stuff but most of the time is quiet. He finds comfort in her and she will lend him something that smells like her to calm him down if need be.

🧸 It's common to leave baby's outside to nap in Scandinavian countries like Norway and Sweden. When Toki wants to nap, he will ask to go outside and sleep on a blanket, which the band allows. However, when he wants to do it during the winter where there is snow, the band argues back with him, except Skwisgaar. He has to tell them that this is completely normal for Scandinavian children. He buys Toki the appropriate wear clothes and sleeping bag, and lets Toki take a nap outside in the snow. Skwisgaar will either join him or be near by to calm the rest of the bands nerves, especially Pickles.

🧸 Very very very few klokateers are allowed to care for Toki in the place of the band or Charles. Out of all of the klokateers, these people have to go through an extensive and grueling interviewing processes to get the position. Toki knows exactly who these klokateers are and understand that if Charles allows them to care for him, then they can be trusted. These klokateers also have the most amount of pressure on them. While their position won't kill them like other positions, if they betray the trust of Charles by hurting Toki, they are signing themselves up for a world of pain unlike they have ever known. Death would be too kind for those who hurt Toki when he is small.

🧸 Toki is also a biter. He likes to bite and nibble on people for attention. It doesn't hurt unless he uses his canines.

🐰🐝🎸🎮🤡🐱🍭✈️🛼🎹🖍️🍼🍺💉🎁🤠🏎️🔫👯‍♂️🪽🌈🤮

Ok, that's all for now! I hope you enjoyed these as much as I enjoyed putting them down. Obviously, my word isn't law so if you HC Toki differently than any of these, it's all good. In fact, I wanna read about them, lol! So yeah, thanks xxx

[kaija-rayne-author]

Some thoughts on Dragon Age Veilguard a couple weeks after playing/reviewing it.

Obligatory disclaimer, feel free to skip to the cut if you've read it.

Something came to my attention. I need to make it crystal clear that I utterly love the diversity in DAV. It's fantastic. I'm also a heavily left leaning, non-binary, queer as fuck reviewer, editor, and author.

Please be safe and take care of yourselves. Arguing with incels and white supremacists is completely pointless. They sea lion worse than an actual sea lion. Your mental health is important.

Though, every single time the anti-queer brigade comes out for a new DA game, I sit there thinking 'have you bozos ever played any DA game, like, ever?' My guess is nope.

Note: My reviews for DA and my blog posts about DAV in particular aren't edited. I don't have the time, energy, or heart to edit them properly.

It's been 16 days since I finished DAV.

And sadly, my opinion still hasn't changed. Especially after learning about Joplin from my friend's artbook. (Joplin is the original concept and art concepts for the game. It had so much we were all really desperate to see. It was gorgeous. And they scrapped it.)

I don't know why they scrapped it, it was exactly what so many of us wanted.

Honestly? I don't care why. I'm sick of all the excuses people keep making for BioWare turning out such a shitty game.

Were there reasons and difficulties I don't know and will never know about? There usually are.

But those things are honestly irrelevant when it comes to producing a quality product.

I work my ever loving ass off to make sure my books are good. And I don't have a team to help me and a 250 million dollar budget. I do everything myself because I have to.

Indie studios turn out fantastic games with cool worlds, good fighting systems, and interesting monsters all the time. With some help and some budget, sure. But not likely on the scale of what they had for DAV.

I'm both a creator and an editor. When you're making a product for sale, it's incredibly foolish to change a series title too much from what worked before. Sure, fix problems, streamline stuff, but people generally don't play RPGs for anything past the worldbuilding, writing, story, and characters. There's action RPGs, sure. I'm playing one now and loving it (Greedfall).

It's a solid RPG that feels like an RPG. (DAV did not.) The fighting system works. The companions are actually useful. They kill bad guys all by themselves! It's quite refreshing tbh.

When you're creating something for fun, sure, do what the fuck ever you want as long as it isn't harmful to someone else. (Don’t put words in my mouth. By harmful, I mean specifically things like racism, sexism, ableism etc. Not whether someone dislikes the colour green and thinks the word 'triggered' means unhappy or uncomfortable. It doesn't. It's specifically a needed mental health term.)

When you're creating a product for sale, you make decisions. IE. I chose to write a reverse harem series. That's a choice influenced by the business reality that my queer books hardly sell at all.

I still love the characters and world I built, still love the plot etc. But it was still a decision on my part. Because my work of words is my only income. I'm disabled and recovering from a pulmonary embolism. My partner is recovering from a broken back and has at least one, possibly two more surgeries to go. We don't get very much help from anywhere. Money is so tight it squeaks. I'm hoping with the decision to write m/f reverse harem, my sales will improve (They already have with only two books out. Third before end of year.)

So. No. No more excuses for BioWare. They've always, from rumour, had a lot of control over the games they make, even if EA does pollute the studio by owning it.

Someone made the choices that resulted in such a shitty game. Someone approved the terrible (in some cases, racist, sexist, and ableist) writing. Someone thought the editing was just fine (it really really is not).

Someone (likely Epler given what he's said in interviews) decided that it was a good idea to Disney-fie the most recent addition to an adult, dark fantasy game that has historically delivered a lot of horror elements. While somehow condescending to kids at the same time.

Someone decided to remove so many of those dark fantasy elements. It's especially obvious in the not-fucking-darkspawn. They made them goofy, not scary and vaguely horror inspiring. But it's all throughout the game.

Someone made decisions. Those decisions made an awful game.

Someone decided tying your companions' skill points acquisition to their level of bond with you was a good idea. Maybe it looked good on paper. I don’t honestly care. It made it nigh impossible to get them high enough to be actually useful. Meaning your OP character always has aggro. Fine, I guess, if you're a tank player, but what about the rest of us?

Someone decided to remove blood splatter from a freaking BioWare game.

Someone decided to go with that wretched art style.

Someone decided nerfing the rogue class was a good idea. Why even have them? They're just light skirmishers, not rogues. Without, y'know, the rogue skills that make a rogue.

It was a decision, each and every time.

Someone decided everything about that game.

So miss me with the excuses.

I would like actual reasons, but I highly doubt we'll ever get them.

Someone made unwise and often foolish decisions during development of DAV. The results are clear.

Simply by the fact they aren't releasing sales numbers... that indicates it's probably not doing well. Larian basically called their earnings for BG3 out weekly.

It mostly just makes me sad now. DAV could've been fantastic. Because of decisions human beings in positions of power made, DAV, while having some good parts, just sucks.

[syoish-aot]

I FOUND YOU [completed Ao3 version]

words: 15k rating: T (language and implied sexual content)

eren/reader

reincarnation

post canon

modern setting

past eremika (but no love triangle)

plot twist

((reposting the edited & completed version of this fic so I also have it on tumblr! It's also available on Ao3! The rough draft version of this fic is still up, but this version is a lot better.))

The last thing Eren remembered was the chaste press of Mikasa's lips against his as the world faded into nothing.

The first thing Eren felt was the ticklish brush of your lips against his as the world came back into view.

He had died. Just like he was supposed to. So then…

…why was he still alive?

OR - After being killed to stop the rumbling, Eren wakes up in the modern world disoriented and confused. Confused about where he was. Confused about how he was alive. And, most importantly, confused about you- his (supposed) girlfriend of six years that he has no memory of whatsoever.

CHAPTER 1: In a Quaint Apartment

A Quaint Apartment

The last thing Eren remembered was the chaste press of Mikasa's lips against his as the world faded into nothing.

The first thing Eren felt was the ticklish brush of your lips against his as the world came back into view.

He had died. 

He knew he had died because that had been the whole point of everything. Of almost destroying the world. Of almost killing everyone. Of his plan that painted a group of Eldian Devils as heroes so Paradis could finally have a chance at peace. 

He. Had. Died.

Just like he was supposed to. So then…

     …why was he still alive?

Eren didn't want to open his eyes, not yet anyway, so he didn't.

Instead, he lay there against the bed- a bed so much softer than any he'd ever had the pleasure of laying in after years and years of fighting.

He couldn't remember the last time he hadn’t woken up sore. Realistically, it probably hadn’t been since he was a little kid, still ignorant to the truth of the world.

But right now he wasn't sore. Right now he was in a soft bed and the lips that had been against his had long since pulled away as the person they belonged to began rummaging around on the other side of the room.

Was it Mikasa? Would he open his eyes and be in that cabin he had created, just for the two of them?

If he didn't open his eyes then he could pretend that's what it was. If he didn't open his eyes he could be anywhere…

But then-

"Eren." A soft voice laughed from the other side of the room.

It wasn't a voice he recognized.

You looked over at your boyfriend who was still lying shirtless in bed even though it was well past eleven. It might have been a Saturday, but the two of you had plans and you'd agreed the night before that you wouldn't give them up to spend the whole day lazing around your apartment wrapped up in each other (as wonderful as that sounded right now, especially with how dreamy he looked with his face relaxed in blissful peace and his hair splayed out across the pillo- No no no no no- NO DISTRACTIONS!)

You watched his eyelids twitch, which normally meant he was pretending to be asleep so he didn’t have to get up.

That jerk.

You turned back to the mirror in front of you and continued to put in your earrings before standing back to flatten out your cocktail dress. 

It was a simple dress, but still one of your favourites. Form-fitting and long-sleeved with soft dark blue fabric that cut off mid-thigh. It always made you feel mature- which was something you figured you should already feel in your mid-twenties but-... but honestly you normally feel more like a teenager playing pretend than a real adult.

Speaking of playing pretend: 

“Eren, seriously,” you laughed again as you crossed the room. “We have to leave in forty-five minutes and you need to take a shower.” You told him as you crawled back into bed to straddle him. You leaned forward, placing your hands against the pillow on either side of his head. Your lips ghosted over the shell of his ear. “When we get back home we can do that thing you like~ and if you get up now I’ll even let you-”

Suddenly you were flipped.

Eren pinned you against the mattress with your hand painfully pressed against your back. 

“E-Eren!” You exclaimed as your shoulder strained, wrist no doubt bruising against his tight grip. 

He’d done this to you before- playfully, with less strain against your arm and when you were in the mood to get a little freaky but right now this- this wasn't that. This was something else.

And that was confirmed when he finally spoke, adding a slight pressure to your arm which left you hissing in pain:

His tone was harsh, dark, vastly different from his usual lighthearted teasing. “Who the hell are you?”

It was your boyfriend behind you, you knew it was your boyfriend.

But at the same time, it was a total stranger.

Eren stared down at you, heart hammering against his chest in a mix of anxiety and confusion.

How the hell did you know who he was, but he has no memory of you? Or this bed? Or this room? Or anything besides Mikasa’s blade against his throat and the tears lining her eyes. 

You were trembling below him, clearly terrified, indicating that you’re equally clearly not a threat. 

He wasn't sure what was going on, but he didn't want to do anything rash and complicate things further. 

So he let you go.

“Sorry,” he mumbled as he pulled away and sat on the edge of the bed.

Immediately you sat up and turned towards him. “Are you okay?” You asked with eyes wide and clear concern splashed across your face.

For some reason, it caused Eren’s stomach to twist uncomfortably. He said nothing.

“Did you have another nightmare?” You asked softly.

The way you said it indicated that this may be a common occurrence. So Eren lied: “Yes,” he answered. “Sorry. Guess it freaked me out a bit.”

You gave him a comforting smile and, again, it caused his stomach to twist.

“Don’t worry about it,” you said softly. “You’re awake now, right? So everything’s okay.” You leaned forward to kiss his cheek before pulling yourself out of bed. “Armin said we needed to be at the banquet hall at one.”

“Armin?” Eren quickly asked.

You couldn't help but laugh at the way Eren looked at you. His eyes were wide, eyebrows raised, lips parted just slightly as he sucked in a breath. “Yeah, Armin, ” you confirmed, “and everyone else.”

“Who else?”

You sighed. “Eren, you really need to get better at remembering the plans we make.”

“Who’s going to be there?” Eren repeated, ignoring your comment.

You laughed as you stood so you could cross the room to finish putting on your makeup in front of the large mirror next to your dresser.

“Besides you, me, and Armin, Niccolo obviously . I’m still surprised he managed to plan the whole thing.” You joked as you started on your eyeliner. “Reiner, Bertholdt, Annie, and Marco for sure because they’re reliable when it comes to keeping plans. Historia texted me yesterday and said Ymir didn’t want to come because apparently she and Reiner still aren’t over that fight they had last week. Oh my god speaking of that fight, did you know that they put it on pause to go get beers together at Maria’s? Literally just went ‘I hate you but we have to watch this game together so we’ll be friends for a night and then go back to our bullshit’. Honestly, I commend them for being able to do that,” you laughed. “Anyway, if Historia is set on coming, Ymir will still show up and we can see that drama unfold in real time. Sasha will be there for the food, Pieck will be there for the booze, Porco will be there for the Pieck being there for the booze which means obviously Jean’s going to be there because of that weird love triangle thing they still have going on. Oh speaking of Jean: you better behave. Connie, duh! And Mikasa’s flight gets in at-”

“Mikasa’s going to be there?” There was something to the way he said it. With a strange… hope in his tone. It left you confused.

“Yes?” you answered. Or maybe you were asking, you honestly weren't too sure. “Didn’t she call you to talk about it literally last night?” He was still staring at you but you shrugged and turned back to the mirror. “Now get your perfectly sculpted ass out of bed so you can get ready or we’ll be late.”

Without saying another word, Eren stood up and left the bedroom.

If you hadn’t known any better, you would have thought he hesitated at the door to glance around the apartment as if he wasn’t sure where he was going.

But you and Eren had been living there together for over a year.

So it wouldn’t make sense for him to be confused.

It wouldn’t make sense at all…

Eren fumbled his way through getting ready. He tried his best not to talk to you because talking to you was… confusing.

Anytime you were too close to him or your eyes met in a specific way, his stomach would erupt into butterflies as his heart felt like it began beating ten times faster.

It was a purely physical reaction to your closeness and it was- it was… odd. 

To say the least.

It felt like his head and his body had different ideas of who you were. 

In his head: you were a stranger. Someone whose name he could barely remember (and had almost forgotten several times). You were confusing, potentially dangerous, but obviously some sort of key to figuring out what was going on; which became especially apparent as you rattled off the names of almost everyone he knew.

In his body: you were everything. You were someone that left him with an intense desire to touch. To feel. To be around. His body pulled him towards you at every opportunity it got, sometimes even to the point that he had to physically stop himself from reaching out to take your hand, grabbing you by the wrist- kissing you. And every time it happened he could recall what it would feel like to follow through with those motions. Somehow he knew the warmth of your lips on his, your body flush against his, your fingers curling into his palm- fitting so perfectly, like your hand was meant to be there. Instinct. His reaction to your presence was pure instinct.

And he had no idea what to make of it.

But when you’d told him that the two of you were meant to be somewhere and rattled off names of people he knew (and not in the way that he “knew” you, these were people he actually knew), he hoped that talking to them would clear things up.

So, he spent the morning playing the part. Doing what you told him to. Following you around the strange apartment that the two of you, apparently, called home.

He didn’t want to alert suspicion, not yet.

Especially when you said Mikasa’s name and his stomach sank.

“There.” You said with a smile as you finished knotting Eren's tie and pulled it perfectly tight against his neck. Your hands moved to his shoulders, flattening out his dress shirt. 

              Who were you?

    Who were you?

                     Who were you?

It was all Eren could think as you smiled at him and his whole body felt like it was on fire.

Who were you?

A Restaurant Downtown

“Eren’s acting weird today.” You told Jean with a short sigh as you stared down at your drink, swirling the vodka concoction that Connie had shoved into your hand the second you entered Niccolo’s restaurant.

Today was the soft opening and Niccolo had invited all of his friends to give the menu a try before the grand opening in just five short days.

Which, to your friends, meant an excuse to eat good food and get day drunk.

None of them would have missed out on that.

The bar was right in the middle of downtown, split into two levels with a more fancy dining area and a patio upstairs, and the casual bar on the lower level. Niccolo had been working for years to open it, and everyone was beyond excited that his dream had finally come true.

You wished you were more in the mood to celebrate and you figured you would have been if it weren’t for well…

“He’s always weird.” Jean dismissed with an entertained short at his own joke before he took another sip of his beer and leaned against the bar.

“I’m being serious.” You said.

“So am I.” Jean shrugged.

When you didn’t reply to the obvious ribbing from your friend (something that would normally get the two of you caught up in at least five minutes of back-and-forth banter), he looked over at you. When you still didn’t say anything, he cleared his throat. “What uh-- What happened?” He asked.

You sighed. “I think he had another nightmare that really fucked him up he-” you hesitated as you chewed nervously at your bottom lip before continuing on, “he completely forgot about the soft open and the whole drive here he was just staring out the window, being all quiet and mysterious. He’s been raving about today for months and now it’s like he completely forgot it was even happening. It’s just-... it’s reminding me of third year, I guess.”

“What do you mean?”

You began fiddling with the sleeve of your dress. “Remember that morning he had just disappeared?”

It was back when most of your friend group was still in university. Back then, Eren and Armin were sharing a dorm and one night Eren vanished. All day, no one knew where he was. He’d left his phone, keys, and wallet at home and hadn’t told anyone where he was going. He’d missed class, practice, and the plans the two of you had made to meet up for lunch.

You were ready to put in a missing persons report when that evening he just-… came back.

Around 7 pm.

Waltzing into his dorm acting completely normally. 

He said he needed some time away from everyone to think about something, but as he said it he had this look in his eyes. A look that you… couldn’t make sense of.

The same look he’d had only a few hours ago; after he released you from where he’d pinned you to your bed.

“Yeah...” Jean agreed as his fingers drummed against the side of his glass.

You looked up from your glass, eyes immediately falling to your boyfriend on the other side of the restaurant. The moment you’d arrived he’d run off to find Armin and they’d remained wrapped up in conversation ever since.

“All morning he was so stiff and awkward. He said it was just a bad dream messing with his head but he-... he didn’t know who I was, Jean.” You took in a breath, “but he knew who Armin was. And you. Sasha, Connie, Reiner, Annie, Mikasa, Marco, Ymir- literally everyone but me and I-”

That’s when Jean began choking on his drink.

“Jean!” You exclaimed as you grabbed his beer and placed it on the bar behind you before patting his back.

“It’s-” he managed before another cough, “it’s nothing!” he coughed again. “B-Bye--” Jean stuttered as he pushed away from the bar, still trying to clear his throat through a breathy gasp of: “Armin-”

You were left alone at the bar with only Jean’s beer for company as you watched him shove through your group of friends.

Somehow, it left you even more confused than ever.

Your eyes scanned the restaurant.

And Eren was nowhere to be found.

Armin looked different than he had before.

Sure, he still had the same blonde hair and wide blue eyes; but the way he was looking at Eren reminded him of the little boy in Shiganshina, wishfully rattling off facts about the outside world.

There was life to him, Eren realized in an instant.

There was life.

“Eren,” Armin laughed. “You’re spacey today.”

“Sorry…” Eren mumbled, unable to look away from his best friend as he recalled the last time he’d seen him: when they’d sat together in a pool of blood and Armin held him tightly, crying about how they were both irredeemable monsters.

“What’s that look for?” Armin asked him with another laugh.

“You’re… You’re here,” was all Eren managed to say. 

“Oh no.” Armin sighed. “Did you already get to the champagne? It’s barely even two in the afternoo-”

“Where’s Mikasa?” Eren suddenly asked. He hadn’t seen her yet.

He had seen plenty of other people he knew, which made him do a double take as he entered the restaurant and everyone greeted him like nothing was wrong.

Like hadn’t killed 80% of humanity and led to the deaths of plenty of the people in the large restaurant.

Like he was meant to just be here at some--... some party or something.

((Honestly Eren wasn’t sure what the event was; but that wasn’t important, what was important was finding Mikasa.))

“Eren are you feeling alright?” Armin asked, pulling Eren out of his thoughts.

“Where are we, Armin?” He asked bluntly.

“Um… fourth and center street?”

“No. I mean-...” Eren looked away from the restaurant and back at his best friend. “We said we’d-... you and I-- we promised. We promised we’d meet in hell. Is that where we are? Are we... Armin, are we in hell?”

Armin’s eyes widened as the playful brightness in them completely vanished. “Eren you-”

“Armin!” Suddenly Jean was at his side, he grabbed Armin by the shoulders and shook him. “It’s Eren he’s-- he’s--”

Armin finished Jean’s sentence for him as both of their eyes fell to their friend:

“Eren’s awake.”

CHAPTER 2: In a Bathroom Stall

A Bathroom with Impeccable Ambiance

“The fuck do you mean ‘awake’?” Eren demanded as Jean and Armin shoved him into the bathroom.

“Eren it’s-- um…” Armin stuttered in a hushed tone so they wouldn’t be overheard. He began to fiddle with his hands before he turned to Jean. “Y-You should-”

“Already did it.” Jean interrupted as he looked up from his phone before sliding it into his back pocket.

Eren scowled. “Did wha-” 

Suddenly the door burst open. “I JUST GOT JEAN’S TEXT IS EREN REALLY--” Connie cut himself off as he stood in the doorway- eyes wide, face flushed, staring right at Eren. “...holy shit…” he mumbled.

Eren continued to scowl, still extremely confused.

“Move! Move! Move!!” Sasha pushed past him, causing Connie to stumble fully into the bathroom. “I knew it would happen soon! I fucking knew it!! I have a sense for these sorts of things you know! It was the same thing when Jean woke up. I had been craving baked potatoes for weeks and then-”

“Sasha, calm down.” Armin cut her off. “We don’t want to overwhelm him, alright?”

“Overwhelm me with what!?” Eren exclaimed. “Seriously what the hell is-”

“What’s the last thing you remember, Eren?” Armin asked as he placed his hands on Eren’s shoulders and forced his friend to look at him.

Eren’s stomach sank as the memories flooded his vision. Smoke. The stomping of footsteps. Screaming from the people below him. A blade drawn with lightning-quick speed.

Falling.

And then nothing.

“I--...” Eren pushed Armin’s hands away as he took a step back.

The walls suddenly felt so close.

His lungs suddenly felt so tight. 

Eren's gaze fell to the floor, unable to meet the eyes of the people he had betrayed, especially when they were all looking at him with such awe and-- and hope.

“My plan worked,” Eren mumbled in a hushed tone that carried the weight of what he was confessing to. “I remember-- I remember everything.” His throat constricted. “Everything I did. Everything I forced all of you to do because of it-- all those people I killed and-”

“Eren.”

Armin pulled him into a hug, holding him as tightly as he had the last time they’d seen each other. It felt like that. Just like that. But also-

               …also nothing like that at all.

“It’s alright now,” Armin told him. “None of that matters anymore.”

Eren scoffed. “How can it not matter?”

“Because none of that happened here,” Armin told him. “We don’t-...” he sighed and pulled away to meet Eren's eyes again. “We don’t really get it either, but for some reason after living our lives there, we all woke up here.”

“But…” Eren practically whispered. “...but where is here?”

Armin smiled. “Here is where everyone’s okay. Where we’re all together and we don’t have to worry about war or titans or death or anything like that. Here we can just-...” Amin’s smile widened, He looked so relieved as he finished his words: “... here is where everyone can live, Eren.”

“Everyone?” Eren asked.

“Yeah,” Armin replied. “Everyone.”

Eren’s eyes moved from Armin to Jean. To Sasha. To Connie. To the door.

Outside of the room, there were more people. More people he knew from his other life that had somehow ended up here (wherever “here” was). Everyone in the restaurant was someone he’d crossed at some point before; someone who, if what Armin was saying was correct, had memories of that life but understood it was different from where they were now.

Every single one of them.

Every single one except--

Eren scowled as he recalled watching you get ready that morning. Smiling and joking around as you filled him in on random gossip about people he knew as you talked about them like you knew them too. Which you did , apparently. For some reason, you knew them too.

Eren lips tightened together in a frustrated line before he took a quick breath and asked the question that had been plaguing him: “Then who’s-”

Suddenly the bathroom door burst open.

“There you guys are!” You exclaimed. “Not to ruin your secret bathroom meeting or anything, but Niccolo wants to make a toast.”

Your friends all looked like deer in headlights so you couldn’t help laughing in response. “What?” you asked.

Armin took a quick breath.

Sasha coughed.

Connie started picking something out from under his fingernails.

Jean fiddled with his tie.

Eren avoided your eyes, feeling unsettled by the idea of eye contact. The way everyone else was acting indicated that you didn’t know anything about this. About them. About how, apparently, all of them had wound up here like some sort of second chance at life. 

They couldn’t raise suspicion.

So Connie bravely broke the silence: “It’s um-- It’s Jean,” he stuttered. “He’s--... he’s constipated.”

Yeah.

Yeah, that wasn’t suspicious at all.

A Restaurant Downtown

“So… um, I guess that’s all I have to say,” Nicolo concluded his toast with an awkward laugh. “Thank you all for your support, even when that support-” he turned to Sasha, who was tucked under his arm and smiling up at her fiance as he addressed the room, “-sometimes means eating all of my imported truffles.”

“I told you that was an accident!” Sasha defended, playfully smacking him on the chest.

Niccolo laughed and kissed her forehead before everyone raised their glasses to cheers.

You grinned as you lowered your glass before taking a sip of your champagne. Which caused your nose to scrunch at the bitter taste. Wine had never been your thing.

You turned to Eren, who was standing next to you staring into his own glass. 

“Don’t tell me you’re already considering cutting yourself off,” you teased, “especially after last night when you were raving about how you were going to drink Jean under the table again.”

“Yeah..” Eren mumbled. “I um… yeah.”

Your smile slowly fell as you watched him. He looked so trapped in thought. Thoughts he would normally share with you, but for some reason he was holding himself back. You’d spent all morning trying to get into his head only to have him push you out.

Eren was right next to you.

But… he’d never felt so far away. 

“I don’t know what happened,” Eren told you when you were nineteen and he disappeared for an entire night.

“What do you mean?” You asked.

He shrugged as he poured himself a glass of water as he leaned against the kitchen counter. “I wanted to go for a walk, so I did and then- I dunno. Must have hit my head or something because I woke up back in bed.”

“Eren, you’re acting really casually about this. Maybe we should call your dad…”

You watched Eren’s body tense, just like it always did at the mention of Grisha Jaeger. 

He stared into his glass of water, getting lost in his own reflection. For a moment you didn’t recognize him. For a moment he was a stranger.

You didn’t know what else to say, so you said nothing.

Thankfully, after that, he bounced back. After that he was Eren.

Just Eren.

Until right now, six years later, when he wasn’t “Just Eren” at all.

When he was someone else. The same “someone else” that had gotten lost in the woods all those years ago.

On instinct, your hand crept from your side towards his. Eren jumped as your fingers brushed ever so gently against the back of his hand as if your touch was something intimidating as opposed to comforting.

You began to pull away, worried that you’d make things worse if you continued to push; but just as your fingers parted from his, his hand instantly reached out to take yours.

“Don’t.” He told you immediately, still staring into his untouched glass of champagne as a soft blush slowly rose against his cheeks. “I-...”

Eren’s heart hammered against his chest as you slowly returned his hold, curling your fingers around his.

He still didn’t know who you were but he knew this. He knew your hand in his and the way it made his whole body feel like it was on fire.

It was that feeling again. That feeling that his instincts knew who you were, but his memories had no idea.

And it was tearing him apart. Like two sides of him that refused to see eye to eye because they physically lacked the ability to do s-

“It’s alright, Eren.” Your gentle voice cut through his thoughts with a second, comforting squeeze of his hand. “I’m not going anywhere.”

For some reason, to Eren, those words made everything seem okay.

A Busy Street

Mikasa pulled herself into the taxi with a short sigh. Her flight hadn’t been long, but flying had always made her uncomfortable. The tight seats, the change in altitude, the sinking feeling in her stomach at takeoff and landing- she’d always hated all of it. It was worth it though.

It was worth it to be home.

A subtle smile tugged at her lips at the thought of seeing her friends again. She stared out the window and watched the city pass by in a blur, wrapped up in memories of growing up in the city.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket, momentarily distracting her.

Mikasa pulled her phone from her pocket and immediately clicked on the group chat notification.

She expected it to be Sasha asking how much longer she was going to take to get there. Instead, her eyes widened when she read two simple words:

CHAPTER 3: On a Rooftop at Sunset

When Eren Jaeger was fifteen he didn’t know much about love.

What he did know was a fierce desire to protect. To save. To help, not just his friends, but all of humanity regain the freedom taken from them by the titans.

And he also knew that Mikasa’s hair was very soft.

That her eyes were pretty.

That her skin looked warm.

That her lips, often hidden under the red scarf he had wrapped around her when they were children, distracted him from conversation more times than he could count.

But there was never time.  

The more they learned about the world- and the more Eren learned about himself in turn- the more that their lack of time became obvious to him.

He told himself it was for the better that he was never honest about his feelings. That he never properly answered her question:

“What am I to you, Eren?” She asked him the night they stood on the hill just outside of Liberio. 

What am I?

She was everything to him, is what he wanted to say; but- 

“you’re family,” is what he said instead.

Because he knew, Eren knew, that in that life they would never have enough time to be together.

So, when he woke up in a new life, his first thought was that maybe-... maybe this was his chance. 

But, when he opened his eyes, it wasn’t Mikasa he saw…

…when he opened his eyes, he found you instead.

A Restaurant Downtown

“Eren?” You asked, your hand still gently holding his, right after Niccolo concluded his toast. 

He heard your words, but he was too wrapped up in his own head to do anything with them. It was hard to believe that he’d only been conscious for a few hours and he’d already learned so much. Part of him still felt like he was trapped in some sort of weird life-flashing-before-his-eyes haze during his last moments of life. But.. how could that be the case if this wasn’t his life at all? 

So… he had to believe Armin, right? 

Believe him that this was real. That he was here. That this world wasn’t some strange fantasy and it actually was the second chance Armin had described. Somehow. 

Eren wanted to believe it, he really did; but there were still so many things that didn’t make sense. The biggest one being:

“Do you really… not know?” Eren asked, barely above a whisper as your fingers brushed against his.

“Not know what?” You asked with an awkward laugh.

A laugh that made his stomach flutter as two parts of him were suddenly at war, just like they had been all day.

He felt like he was being split in half. Not in a physical sense, but a mental one; as those two parts fought to tell him what to do.

One of them he recognized. Agreed with. Understood.

          You don’t owe her an explanation.

Was what that half said.

          Just leave.

But then there was the other half. The half that wanted to reach out to you and hold you. Kiss you. Hug you. The part that made his hand twitch at its side, like his body was being completely taken over by someone else.

          Talk to her.

That half said.

          She deserves to know.

Eren took a hesitant breath. “You don’t know that… that everyone except you is-”

“HEY GUYS WHAT’S UP!?!” Connie exclaimed, appearing out of thin air as he shoved between the two of you and wrapped his arms around your shoulders. Eren’s hand pulled away from yours. For some inexplicable reason he immediately missed the feeling of your palm against his.

“Um… nothing?” You awkwardly answered back.

“Cool, cool, cool right yeah- cool… Just wanted to make sure you guys were getting along,” he said as he eyed Eren, “not saying anything weird,” Eren scowled, “just being a normal boyfriend and girlfriend that have been dating for six years.”

Eren watched as you pushed Connie’s arm off your shoulder with a frustrated sigh. “Connie, are you drunk?”

“No no! I just… just didn’t want you guys to be alone for too long in case one of you says something strange and… and potentially life-altering that they shouldn’t be saying.”

Eren’s eyes narrowed.

Connie raised his eyebrows and looked from Eren to you, to Eren, to you, and back to Eren.

Very subtle, dumbass.

They were broken out of their staring contest when you interjected with: “Is this about Jean being constipated?” 

Connie took in a quick breath as his eyes went wide again. Eren could practically feel him debating how to answer. Eventually, he settled for a hesitant: “...yes…”

You sighed again. “In that case, I’d rather you keep your secrets.”

“Good,” Connie replied. “That’s what we should be doing, right Eren?”

“Why?” Eren asked.

“Because some people don’t need to know about Jean’s bowel movements.”

“But why not?” Eren asked for the second time. “Seems like it’d make things a lot easier if everyone knew.”

“Because, Eren. It sounds pretty crazy.”

“It is crazy.”

“Exactly,” Connie finished his sentence through gritted teeth: “so shut the hell up.”

“Wow, brownies!” You said, suddenly appearing between them (Eren hadn’t even noticed you leave). You shoved something into both of their mouths. “Can you guys stop being weird?”

Eren’s first instinct was to push you away, but the half of him that was adamant about not hurting you stopped him before he could.

And honestly? He was glad it had because:

  “...holy shit this is good…” He mumbled around whatever the hell you’d forced into his mouth.

It was sweet but salty. Gooey but crunchy. Warm but… cold?

What the fuck.

It was even better than that ice cream from Liberio.

“Jesus, Eren…”  He heard you mumble with another short laugh as you reached up and flicked a piece of brownie off the corner of his lips.

Your touch immediately caused his back to stiffen as he stopped chewing.

Those two parts of him were fighting again:

          Push her away. She’s dangerous.

And-

          Take her hand. Kiss her palm. Run your lips up her arm until Connie complains about too much PDA through fake vomit noises and tells you to get a room.

He felt like he’d seen that before. Done that before but--... he hadn’t. Eren knew he hadn’t.

He didn’t know how long he’d stood there, completely frozen; but apparently, it was long enough for even Connie to feel the awkward tension: 

“So Ymir and Reiner are at each other’s throats again!” He quickly said. “You should’a seen ‘em earlier! Historia had to shove them apart to keep them from getting into a fistfight! And the crazy thing is that if you ask either of them what they’re fighting about, no one can give you an answer. It’s like they’re so petty that they forgot why they were being petty in the first place!”

“That’s… That’s too bad.” You said softly as your arms wrapped around your chest, completely avoiding Eren’s eyes.

          Hug her. Make her feel better.

Why? Why did he want to do that?

          You don’t owe her anything. You don’t even know her.

Yeah. That made more sense. Right?

Connie cleared his throat. “Well… You know how they are right? I’m sure that soon enough they’ll be-”

“Hey guys,” Jean interrupted as he awkwardly walked towards the three of you. “Um-...” Eren’s heart immediately leapt into his throat, “Mikasa’s here.”

He stepped to the side and there she was, just like Jean had said.

This time, there was no mental war. 

Both sides of Eren were equally stunned.

“So Ymir and Reiner are at each other’s throats again!” Connie exclaimed, clearly trying to lighten whatever awkward tension surrounding you and Eren.

You appreciated him for trying, you really did, but you weren’t sure Connie was the one that would be able to fix this.

Honestly, you weren’t sure that anyone was.

Something had changed between you and Eren. Something you were completely unaware of, despite spending all afternoon trying to figure out.

It hurt.

The way he looked at you, the way he pulled away from your touch, the way he spoke to you in broken fragments of conversation- almost like he was forcing himself to reply.

What had you done wrong?

You had no idea.

“That’s… That’s too bad.” You replied as Connie finished his story.

But then:

“Mikasa’s here,” Jean said.

Your eyes widened as she offered a timid wave and a soft smile, looking nothing short of absolutely beautiful in the red dress that you’d helped her pick out on a video call a few days ago.

Ever since she had moved away six months ago, it felt like a piece of your friend group was missing. Like a piece of you was missing, honestly. But now she was back. 

Maybe things would be okay.

In an instant you jumped towards her, your best friend, wrapping your arms around her and holding her as tightly as you could. As if the harder you held her, the sooner everything would be fixed.

Mikasa didn’t hesitate before returning your hug, holding you so tightly against her that it confirmed she’d missed you just as much as you had missed her.

She was wearing the perfume you got her for Christmas.

You could already feel the mending of your nearly broken heart.

Eren was completely frozen. Unable to move. Barely able to even breathe .

He stared at Mikasa as you wrapped your arms around her, burying your face against her neck. Mikasa’s hand rested tenderly against the back of your head, holding you like you were something dangerously close to breaking.

Suddenly, his mind was a warzone:

          There she is!

Part of him yelled.

          There’s the woman you love!!

Mikasa’s eyes meet Eren’s from over your shoulder, causing him to somehow become even more petrified than before.

“Hey Eren,” she said as her hand ran up and down your back.

          Yeah, there she is.

The second part of him said. The part he didn’t recognize. The part that was directing his attention away from Mikasa and at you instead.

          Because she’s been there all day.

“Eren,” Mikasa said, breaking him out of his mental tug-of-war. “We should talk.”

A Rooftop Patio

Red flowers spilled from the hanging baskets attached to the wrought iron fence that wrapped around the patio.

Mikasa smiled as she leaned against the railing, running her fingers across their delicate petals.

From the other side of the patio, as if he was scared to get too close to her and destroy the beautiful image in front of him, Eren’s eyes followed her movements.

His breath came out in shallow exhales, watching the way the setting sun illuminated her features. 

She was so beautiful. She’d always been beautiful. No one could deny that.

Her hair (her long hair, he noted) framed her face and fell past her shoulders, tickling the straps of the red dress that wrapped perfectly around her figure. He hadn’t seen her in a dress since they were kids and it was never something so fancy. Somehow, it still suited her.

Or maybe it was this new life that suited her instead.

Eren could vividly recall the dozens of times that he’d watched Mikasa perform such a simple task as the mundane action always found a way to light a fire in the pit of his stomach. Cleaning her swords, adjusting her ODM straps, tinkering with her gas chamber- he’d watch her do it, admiring the way her fingers delicately held whatever tool or object she was using. But now, with her fingers wrapped softly around a beautiful flower, he felt-

He felt… 

Honestly, Eren wasn’t sure what he felt.

And not knowing that was nothing short of terrifying.

“So…” Mikasa started, cutting off his thoughts, “welcome to your new life.”

Eren shoved his hands into his pockets, unsure what else to do with them, as he looked away from her and swallowed a lump in his throat. “...yeah.” He replied.

Mikasa laughed to herself and looked up at the sky, admiring the way the sunset placed a silver glow around the fluffy clouds above. “You’re confused.”

“That’s putting it lightly.” Eren scoffed before he finally crossed the patio and joined her against the railing.

“We don’t really get it either, it just started to happen,” Mikasa told him. “It’s random, but everyone’s memories get triggered by something. For Armin, it was seeing the ocean for the first time. Jean’s came back at a farmer’s market. Connie remembered everything the day he met Sasha. And Sasha well-...” Mikasa laughed, “there’s a reason we still call her “potato girl” even now.”

“What about you?” Eren asked.

“I-...” Mikasa looked down at her lap as her smile fell. She smoothed out her dress. “...I was different.”

Their eyes met and a lump formed in Eren’s throat. He felt guilty. Guilty for being around when all of this had been happening, but somehow remaining completely oblivious to all of it. The only thing Eren had ever wanted to do was protect the people he loved, so the fact that they’d been going through so much without him noticing made him feel like he’d let them down.

Like he’d let Mikasa down, just like he had in his last life.

“How were you different?” Eren eventually asked once he found the courage to do so.

Mikasa smiled again as she looked down at the street below. “In this life, we grew up together just like we had before. You, me, and Armin, just the three of us. You and Armin had no idea about our past lives but I-” Mikasa took a shaky breath. “Everyone else was born with no memories until they were triggered. Until they… “woke up” as we started to call it; but I- I remembered everything.” She wrapped her arms around herself. “Maybe it’s another one of those Ackerman powers but-… but from the moment I could have a memory, I remembered. I remembered Shiganshina and the hill we would run up as kids. I remembered the fall of the walls. The titans. Our attack on Liberio. The Rumbling. Everything. I remembered every single piece of it and I- I remembered you…”

Eren’s breath caught. “What do you…” He cleared his throat, “what do you remember about me?” He couldn't look away from her, not for a second.

This was everything he had ever wanted. Everything he denied himself from having in his first life.

“What am I to you, Eren?”

“Family.”

That’s what he’d told her on the streets of Liberio because they didn’t have enough time to be anything else.

But this was time. Right here, right now. This second chance at everything, where they could finally be together.

“Mikasa, I lo-”

“I remembered killing you,” Mikasa cut him off. Eren immediately slammed his mouth shut. “And I also remembered everything that happened after. The years I spent by your grave missing you, wishing you were next to me so we could sit on that hill and watch Shiganshina together.”

Eren looked at the flowers.

The pretty red flowers that spilled over the railing, reaching out to the streets below.

          A dark stain on polyester.

The image came to him out of nowhere. A random, meaningless thought that he shook his head to dismiss so he could bring his focus back to what was important:

“Do you remember the cabin?” He asked.

“I do.”

“So then-” Eren stuttered, “then you and I- we can- now that I’m here and I’m awake and we’re in this life we-”

“We can’t, Eren.” Mikasa said.

Eren was taken aback. Mikasa had felt the same way as he did in their last lifetime, he knew she had! So what was different now?

“Why not?” He asked.

“Because it doesn’t work now, Eren.” She said with a casual shrug.

“I-” Eren’s mouth opened and closed a few times. “What do you mean? We finally have the time, Mikasa. We can be together and you don’t even want to try!? Why not? I-... I love you. I’ve always loved you so-”

“I loved you too.” Mikasa cut him off again.

“But…” Eren was in complete disbelief. “But not anymore?”

“No.” Mikasa answered simply. “Not anymore.”

          New shirt.

              Black marker.

Eren scowled as, for the second time, his mind was invaded with random thoughts that meant nothing to him. He focused again on what was important:

“Why not!? What changed between then and now?”

Mikasa took a deep breath. “I lived a whole lifetime without you, Eren. And I spent most of it learning to live without you by my side. So when I woke up in this life, this new life. I just-... I couldn’t go back.”

             Coffee.

       Itchy cloth.

                    A stale, leftover pastry.

Eren pushed the unhelpful thoughts away as his hands clenched into frustrated fists. He needed to focus on Mikasa! “And- And you didn’t even try!?”

Mikasa laughed. “No, I did. Once.”

“Only once!?”

“Yeah. When we were younger we were together for a bit. Nothing serious, and mostly it was just awkward. I felt like I was trying to play a part instead of doing what I actually wanted. And then a few months later you-…” she trailed off.

Eren’s eyes scanned her face, waiting with bated breath for her to continue. When she didn't, he prompted her with: “I… what?”

Mikasa smiled as she looked back at him. “A few months later,” she said, “you fell in love with someone else.”

    Spaghetti.

        Wine.

   A scratchy, cozy couch.

Eren’s eyes slammed shut as another rush of-- of whatever it was flashed through his mind. His fingers dug into his temples, circling against them as his head pounded.

He fell in love with someone else? Someone who wasn’t Mikasa? What was the point of this new life if he was with someone else? Mikasa was the reason he had fought so hard before. She was everything to him but-

        Lips between his shoulder blades.

                 A joke.

           A laugh.

                        A sharp pain in his chest.

Fuck his head was pounding. From the thoughts? The realizations? The heartbreak? Eren had no idea why, he just knew the throbbing of his skull was starting to become too much and he-

“Your memories of this life will come back to you eventually,” Mikasa told him.

Nothing.

Then there was absolutely nothing.

The flashing of images stopped. The throbbing ended. And Eren slowly lowered his hands, eyes fluttering open as Mikasa came back into view.

She smiled, “and when your memories do come back,” she continued, “you’ll get what I mean when I say that you and I wouldn’t work.”

Eren scowled. “What if I don’t? What if I get my memories back from this weird life and I still want to be with you?”

Mikasa sighed at Eren’s typical impulsive response. “If that happens then… then I’ll probably have to kill you again.”

“WHAT!?”

She laughed at his bright red cheeks and the look of pure horror splashed across his face.

Mikasa reached up to teasingly tug his bangs.

Eren shoved her hand away with the roll of his eyes.

He had looked so serious earlier, resembling the man who had tried to end the world. But now, as he pouted after being teased, all Mikasa could see was a little boy being told by Carla to finish his chores.

“You shouldn’t joke about that…” Eren mumbled.

“It’s not a joke,” Mikasa said. “If you hurt her I really will kill you."

Eren’s blush grew darker. He didn’t need to ask Mikasa to elaborate on who she was talking about. It was obvious to both of them. “I-I don’t even know who she is!” He exclaimed.

“You’ll figure it out.” Mikasa shrugged. “Like I said, you’ll get your memories back eventually and everything will make sense again. Just give it some time.”

      Marker.

          Coffee.

             Spaghetti and wine.

Eren’s eyes widened as the thoughts returned. As the... memories returned?

No.

That’s not what they were. It couldn’t be.

Those weren’t memories, they were just--... weird images in his head. Something he dreamed of, probably, something that didn’t mean anythin-

“Wait!” Eren called, only then realizing that Mikasa was halfway across the patio and heading back inside.

He wanted to ask her to stay. He felt like he was supposed to ask her to stay, that’s what part of him was saying, anyway; because their conversation hadn’t resolved anything! He still had so many questions for her, so many thoughts to share and feelings to bring up! But Mikasa was just going to leave him like this!? Leave him to-- to do what!?

“Just let the memories come back to you, Eren,” Mikasa told him.

"And what the hell am I supposed to do while I wait for that to happen!?”

Mikasa smiled as she turned around to look at him one more time.

“Follow your instincts,” she said, “no matter which lifetime you’re in, you’ve always been pretty good at doing that.”

And then she left him on the patio alone with his thoughts.

Alone with his fragmented memories.

Alone with a strange sense of deja vu as he looked down at the red flowers, at the street, and at the setting sun.

A messy heart on the lid of a paper coffee cup.

A hand that fit so naturally in his.

The words “I love you” mumbled before falling asleep…

CHAPTER 4: In a Coffee Shop Meetcute

A (mildly pretentious) Coffee Shop 6 Years Ago

“I think I get why these men are on here.” You told your coworker as you leaned against the counter together, two sets of eyes glued to your phone. You swiped left.

Left again.

Left again.

Paused.

One more left.

Then you sighed.

“Why’s that?” Your coworker asked.

“So here’s my theory.” Tired of the mindless Tinder scrolling, you slid your phone into your back pocket and grabbed a marker from the lip of the register so you could doodle on an empty cup as you explained. “Men on dating apps are there because they give off such ick in real life that they can’t meet women in person without setting off alarm bells, so apps are their only option.”

Your coworker shrugged. “Okay, so why are the women on there?”

“I dunno,” you replied with a snort, already laughing at your own joke: “why does anyone go to a zoo?”

“That’s kinda judgmental.” A customer chimed in from behind you.

“Jesus christ-” you jumped, unaware that anyone had entered the cafe at all. The sharpie in your hand slipped from your hold and went flying toward him sending a black line down the front of his shirt.

“O-- Oh my god!” Your hands immediately covered your mouth as your eyes widened in pure horror. “I’m so, so, so sorry! Um- uh-” You glanced around for a microfiber cloth (which normally made your skin crawl to touch, but you couldn’t think about that right now). You quickly ran the microfiber (ew) cloth under the sink. “Here!” You reached across the counter to press it to the front of his shirt. “Maybe it’ll um-” It did nothing. “Uh…” You tried again. “O-Okay just…” That’s when you finally looked up at him.

You must have come across as pretty pathetic with the way you were reaching over the counter to uselessly dab his shirt in an attempt to get permanent marker out of polyester (spoiler alert: that doesn’t work and it never will).

So you were pathetic.

And he was gorgeous. 

The universe must have had it out for you. Seriously had it out for you because- … holy shit. 

The first thing you noticed were his eyes. A stunning composition that reminded you of the night sky on a full moon- swirling blues and greens beautifully illuminated with flecks of golden stars. 

And then his messy-on-purpose brown hair, half tied up in a bun with a few strands falling against his forehead.

His flawless skin.

His sharp cheekbones.

His adorable nose.

Woah.

It was a real “knees weak, arms spaghetti” moment for you ((made even more embarrassing by the fact that the first thing you thought was “knees weak, arms spaghetti” but that’s where your mind went and you were happy to keep that secret with you until the day you died)).

“I don’t think that’s working.” He told you. 

“Yeah um-” You cleared your throat and dropped the cloth to the counter, quickly standing back up as your cheeks burned. “I really am sorry I could um- I could buy you a new one?”

“Eh,” he shrugged, “it’s old anyway.”

But it didn’t look old.

Still, you were too embarrassed to question him.

“Free coffee?” You offered instead.

He smiled again and you refused to think about knees and spaghetti for the second time.

“Alright,” he replied with an awkward laugh and a smile that made your head feel fuzzy. “Free coffee sounds good.”

Dammit.

Knees and spaghetti it was.

He was back the next day.

   And the day after that.

      And the day after that.

You began to wonder if he was new in the area and just happened to be the type of guy who liked a consistent schedule, if anything the theory made you respect him; but sometimes you hopefully wished he visited so frequently because of… something else.

Because of some one else.

“If you ruin my shirt again, will this one be free too?” He joked on the fourth visit as you handed him a semi-sweet iced coffee.

“Yeah,” you teased back, “but you have to sneak up on me or it’s not authentic.”

You learned new things about him every time he came in.

First, it was his name: Eren.

Eren.

And god, after figuring that out you spent a stupid amount of time pausing on those ‘roll for the first letter of your soul mate’s name’ tiktoks. At least you had the decency to not post them (except for that one time you accidentally did).

You found out he was also attending university. That he was an English major but school was making him lose motivation to write.

That his favourite colour was red.

That he’d never lived anywhere but the city.

That his friends were more important to him than anything, and he’d known them for most of his life. 

And then, a month after you meet, you found out something else...

“So,” you said, five minutes before closing as you wiped down the counter and Eren finished off an (almost expired) donut you’d given him for free instead of throwing out. He was beginning to develop a habit of showing up right before you closed. You still weren’t sure if it was because he had a night class or if he just liked the day-old pastries. ((Or maybe there was a mysterious third reason))

“So…?” He asked, when you didn’t finish the thought (you’d gotten distracted by the way he was licking icing off his fingers).

You cleared your throat and looked down at the counter. “Why was I being judgmental?”

“Oh,” Eren said, “because not everyone that’s in a frat is just there for the parties. My friend Reiner says he-”

“No not about that,” although maybe your opinions on frat boys were based on a stereotype and that was deserving of its own conversation entirely, “I mean about the dating app thing.”

“What dating app thing?” He asked, eyebrows momentarily tightening together with a confused scowl. It was an expression he wore a lot and it always made you laugh.

“The first thing you said to me!” You exclaimed through your laughter. “I was talking about dating apps and you said I was being judgmental. Honestly, I feel like it was the worst first impression ever.”

“Nah, the bad impression part was when you were feeling me up like three seconds later.”

“I-” Your cheeks burn bright red at his joke. “I was not feeling you up!”

Eren threw his head back and laughed.

You tossed your microfiber (ew) towel at him. It landed in the middle of his face before falling to the floor with a dramatic ‘flop’.

Eren snickered as he leaned down to pick it up. “I said you were being judgmental because you were.”

“Please elaborate.”

“Well,” he stood, cloth now in hand, “there are some genuine people on dating apps just looking for connections.”

You rolled your eyes. “Yeah, but it’s all- it’s so fake. How many times can I repeat the same: ‘Hi, how are you?’ ‘I’m good, how are you?’ ‘Good. What do you do for work?’ ‘I work at this shitty cafe and there’s a regular that’s constantly patronizing me to try to get free food. What about you?’.” You sighed. “If people actually want to get to know each other, they should-”

Your rant came to an immediate pause as Eren stopped in front of you.

He was so close. Close enough that you could immediately notice the flecks of gold in his eyes. 

The last time you were this close to him, you’d been frantically rubbing sharpie out of his shirt but now-

Now you were just standing there…

Just close.

So close that you completely forgot how to breathe.

“Some people,” Eren continued, “have to meet that way.” He spoke so much softer than normal, but maybe it was just because you were close enough that softness was all he needed to be heard.

“...huh?”

Eren’s cheeks were dusted pink.

You could hear your heartbeat in your ears.

He continued: “Some people have trouble getting dates any other way.”

“Why’s-” you cleared your throat as it tightened, “why’s that?”

Eren took a breath as his eyes flicked between both of yours.

He was close.

He was so close.

And then he looked away.

“Because some people are… pretty shit at asking out the people they like.”

You jumped as the cloth he’d picked up met your hand.

And this time it wasn’t even because of the gross sensation of microfiber.

Four days later Eren showed up at your work, again, right before closing.

“No free donuts today, sorry.” You immediately told him.

“It’s fine.” He replied as he awkwardly shifted his weight from one foot to the other as if he wasn’t sure which way was normal to stand anymore, while completely avoiding your eyes.

He looked nervous. 

“Um… Eren?”

“Yep?”

You snickered. “Are you oka-”

“Do you wanna go out with me?” He quickly blurted out, finally looking up at you with determination in his eyes and bright red embarrassment across his cheeks.

Your breath caught. “...w-what?”

“With me. Now.” Eren elaborated before some of his confidence crumbled. “Or- Or in like five minutes when your shift is done. Unless you have to stay late tonight because the place is a mess! Not that it looks bad in here or anything! I’m just saying I can wait around! Or we can go another day I just-”

“Are you asking me on a date?” You asked, not wanting to misinterpret his question. 

“I-...” Eren let out a short exhale that shifted into a pathetic laugh at the end. “Yeah. I’m trying to, anyway.” He smiled through his embarrassment. “Don’t laugh you’ll-... you’ll hurt my ego.”

So you didn’t laugh.

Instead, you said yes.

You had a casual first date, just dinner at a local pub.

Your second, third, fourth, fifth, and sixth dates (although you started losing count at some point) passed just as casually.

It was comfortable. Relaxing. Sure, there was a bit of awkward tension at first, but eventually the two of you slipped into a natural rhythm.

Your first kiss was on a park bench on campus.

You brought him day-old donuts any chance you got.

You met his best friends, who quickly became your best friends too.

“I love you” was said after a year of dating.

You graduated after another.

By the third year, you moved in together.

By the fourth, you couldn’t imagine life without him.

And by the sixth year of dating, you had a feeling it was for life.

“Think he’ll propose?” Mikasa’s staticky voice came through the speaker of your phone. You pressed it harder against your ear out of the fear that Eren might somehow develop super hearing and listen in on your conversation.

“I- I dunno, maybe...” You answered, nervously nibbling your bottom lip as you watched your boyfriend from over the back of the couch. He was in the kitchen making dinner. Shirtless, because he was an idiot that didn't care about getting hot chicken oil on his chest.

‘Sluts can’t get third-degree burns, babe.’ He always told you.

‘Then commit to the bit and lose the pants too.’ You always joked back.

He never did though. Apparently, he was okay with hot oil on his tiddies, but his dick and balls were a different story.

“Would you say yes?” Mikasa’s question interrupted your thoughts. 

“Yeah,” you said with a sigh, “but only because he’d cry if I said no.” You joked.

Mikasa laughed. “Maybe he’ll do it tomorrow.”

“Pfft, that’d be tacky. Tomorrow is Niccolo’s big day, not ours.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s right.” You heard Mikasa yawn through the phone.

“You sound exhausted,” you told her, “don’t you have to get up super early to catch your flight?”

“Yeah, but my hotel is lonely.”

You laughed. “Wanna talk to Eren before bed?”

“Sure. He’ll get mad if I don’t.”

You pulled the phone away from your ear. “Eren!” You held it out to him. “Mikasa wants to say goodnight.”

“Can you come stir?” He asked.

You pushed off the couch and stepped up to him in the kitchen, trading him your phone for the spatula. 

He kissed your cheek as he walked past you into the living room.

“Okay, so did you see the new episode?” He asked as he flopped down on the couch. “NO FUCKING WAY YOU DID NOT CALL IT!!”

You rolled your eyes as the two of them started their passionate back and forth about the latest episode of whatever show they were both watching.

That night, after a plate of spaghetti, a shared bottle of wine, and a decent amount of time doing 18+ activities that started in the living room but ended in the bedroom; you found yourself with your arms around Eren’s waist and your face buried between his bare shoulders.

He liked to be the little spoon, even though he’d deny it to your friends.

You didn’t mind though. It meant you could pinch his nipples if he said something sassy before falling asleep.

You smiled against this back.

He smelled like Eren. There wasn’t anything distinct about it that you could put a name to, it was just Eren and you loved it.

Your smile widened as you thought about how perfect your life was. Your career was going well, you had an apartment with an amazing view, and you were dating the love of your life. 

You hoped nothing would ever change.

“I love you.” You whispered before placing a kiss on Eren’s shoulder.

“...that’s so fucking gay…” He mumbled back.

Eren yelped when you pinched his nipple but the squeal of pain quickly shifted into a laugh as he grabbed your hand in his (mostly to keep his nipples safe from continued attacks) and pulled it up to his lips.

He kissed the back of your hand firmly.

Then softly.

Then firmly again.

“Love you too,” Eren told you.

The lights didn’t need to be on for you to know that he was smiling. 

You just knew he was, because you were smiling too. 

“Eren, seriously,” you laughed the next morning as you crawled over him to get him out of bed. “We have to leave in forty-five minutes and you need to take a shower.” 

.

.

.

“Who the hell are you?”

CHAPTER 5: On a Moonlit City Street

note: This chapter uses the song "Until I Found You" by Stephen Sanchez. [spotify / youtube] I highly recommend listening to it during the scene it plays. Everything is timed to the music and it’s indicated when the song is supposed to start.

A Restaurant Downtown

You thought that with Mikasa here, Eren would start to act normally again.

Apparently, you thought wrong.

In fact, it was almost like he was avoiding you more now. 

You could barely catch sight of him in the crowded restaurant as the hours passed and the party went on. On the rare occasions that you did see him, he was always tucked away in a corner talking to Armin. Or Mikasa. Or Jean or Sasha or Connie.

The fact that it was them wasn’t weird, they were his best friends, but what was weird was how you weren’t included. What was weird was how their conversations always came to a stop when you approached. What was weird was the sudden tension that washed over Eren as his back straightened, he took in a quick breath, and his eyes immediately went to anywhere but you. 

Eyes that you used to compare to swirling stars in the night sky. Not now though. Now there weren’t any flecks of gold, no twisted green and blue that lit up at the sight of you, now they just looked- empty.

Weird.

It was weird.

And every time you were reminded of that weirdness you had to will yourself not to cry.

You were desperately trying to piece together what had happened. What you had done wrong. But you genuinely had no idea! Last night had been date night. You’d gone out to see a movie that Eren had been dying to see and then you came home. You and Eren made dinner together before you fell into bed and passed out next to each other, thinking about how your life was perfect.

But then you’d woken up that morning and things had been far from perfect. 

Things had been the exact opposite of perfect, actually.

Things had been-

“You look like shit,” Hitch said as she reached for a drink on the bar next to you.

“Lovely to see you too, Hitch.”

Hitch was more of a friend-in-law than anything. A member of Eren’s extended social circle that you were sucked into when the two of you started dating. The only times you'd actually been “close” to her had been during drunken meet-ups in bar bathrooms when you'd both sobbed about how pretty the other was while vowing to be best friends for life.

Normal girl stuff.

“Trouble in paradise~?” She teased, resulting in a roll of your eyes as you took another sip of your drink.

“No.” You immediately lied, not wanting to become a new topic of Hitch’s gossip.

Hitch laughed. “Alright, then I’ll assume the way you keep glaring at your boyfriend is some new kinda foreplay.”

Your cheeks burned. “Hitch that’s- you’re so gross…”

She shrugged. “I’m just sayin’ it like it is.” 

Her eyes followed yours and she looked over at Eren. He was on the other side of the restaurant with Armin, speaking in hushed tones with a serious expression on his face. 

“I’m worried he’s about to break up with me.” The words tumbled out of your mouth before you could stop them.

In a shocking turn of events, Hitch didn’t tease you about it. “Really?” She asked sincerely.

“...yeah…”

“What makes you say that?”

“He’s just-” you sighed, “he was so weird this morning and he’s been avoiding me all day. When he looks at me it’s completely different from the way he normally looks at me. It’s like he’s- like he’s mad or something. I don’t get it.”

Hitch shrugged. “Did you guys get into a fight?”

“No.”

“Then he’s probably just being all guy-ish about something. I bet you hurt his ego somehow and now he’s in his head about it. Men are like that, you know,” she clicked her tongue, “stupidly emotional over the tiniest things.”

The world really must have been fucked if Hitch Dreyse was starting to make sense.

“At the risk of regretting this,” you started as you tore your eyes away from Eren, “what should I do?”

Hitch snickered and grinned that stupid Cheshire cat grin you’d always hated. “If it were me,” which you’re glad it’s not, given Hitch’s awful track record, “I’d give him a nice little reminder of what he’d be missing if he left~”

“Uh okay… how?”

Hitch shrugged. “I dunno. Quickie in the bathroom?”

“Hitch it’s the opening night of Niccolo’s restaurant!!” You exclaimed, cheeks burning an even deeper shade of red.

She threw her head back with a loud laugh. “Then what a perfect night to christen the handicap stall!”

“I can’t believe you…” You mumbled.

Then again… maybe she wasn’t completely wrong. 

Not about screwing your boyfriend in the bathroom of your friend’s newly opened restaurant!!! But about giving Eren a reminder. It didn’t seem like an awful idea, anyway.

You stared down at your drink.

And then you chugged the rest of it.

“So we’re just born again or something and it’s- it’s like no one even cares about before?” Eren asked, scowling at the table as Armin sat across from him. Mikasa had told him how everyone’s memories got triggered at some point, but she’d left it at that after they’d gotten distracted talking about-...

His eyes naturally moved across the restaurant until they fell to you.

His stomach flipped.

Dammit.

He looked away.

Armin chuckled. “I know it’s confusing right now, but you’ll get used to it.”

“Doubt that,” Eren mumbled as he returned to the subject at hand. He took a nervous breath. “I-... I killed too many people to get off that easy.”

Armin was silent for a moment. “Yes we-... we did.”

Eren looked up at Armin, who was staring into his glass as he ran his thumb up and down the condensation, completely lost in thought.

“The thing about this life though,” Armin started before Eren could say anything else, “is that everyone has an understanding that it’s… it’s different. None of the stuff that happened before happened here. Yes, you still need to make amends but- but everyone gets it. Everyone understands that our last lives were complicated, so instead of focusing on that we try to enjoy the chance we’ve been given to live again.” 

Eren watched Armin for a moment longer before he looked around the restaurant, eyes scanning the people he knew hundreds of years ago who were alive again under completely different circumstances. 

Marco was playing darts with Reiner, Annie, and Bertholdt. He hit a bullseye and all four of them cheered. 

Sasha was sneaking a french fry off Gabi’s plate. Gabi smacked her hand but Sasha flashed her a peace sign as she shoved the french fry into her mouth. 

Samuel’s arm was around Connie’s shoulder. He ruffled his short hair as Daz laughed next to them.

And then his eyes fell to you.

You, chatting with Hitch Dreyse of all people, at the bar.

Eren watched as your cheeks turned pink after something she said and he couldn’t help but admit to himself that you looked cute. His heart started pounding, just like it had been doing all day when he stared at you for too long. He didn’t get it. He really didn’t get it. Who were you and how did you fit in with everyone here? You were the only person in the entire restaurant that he didn’t know, and yet the way you spent the evening talking to everyone made it seem like you’d known them all just as long as he had.

Maybe even longer.

“You’re probably wondering who she is,” Armin said.

Eren jumped and looked away from you as if ashamed that he’d been caught.

And he was, sort of.

He was ashamed that he didn’t remember someone who apparently mattered so much.

“I wasn’t wondering…” Eren mumbled.

Instead of prodding, Armin got to the point. “Not everyone is like us,” he said.

“You mean from back then or- or whatever is going on?”

“Yeah,” Armin replied, “exactly.”

“Why’s that?”

“No one knows,” Armin answered. “We all have our guesses obviously, but it’ll be impossible to prove anything.”

“What do you think?” If anyone had it figured out (or at least mostly figured out) it would have been Armin.

Armin paused before answering. “I think… I think that this life gets given to people who deserve a second chance. People who didn’t get to live happily the first time around, so they’re given an opportunity to try again. Meanwhile, some people are here for the first time and maybe others have lived three lifetimes. Or four. Or five, six, seven- maybe it goes on infinitely until you get to live a life that’s fair, or good or-- or whatever you want to call it.”

“What’s your proof of that?”

“No proof,” Armin smiled, “just a feeling.”

“Hm.”

“What?”

“Nothing,” Eren mumbled. “You’re just… You’re different now.”

Armin threw his head back and laughed. “Hopefully not too different.”

“Nah. It’s a good thing. You were too much of a know-it-all before.” The corners of Eren’s lips tugged into a small smile as he said it. It felt good to smile. He hadn’t been able to do much of that towards the end of his last lifetime.

Armin scoffed before he chuckled. “Rude Eren, rude.”

Eren’s smile grew wider as their eyes met and there was a rush of something through him. Something that suddenly made him feel light and airy. Carefree. Hopeful in a way he hadn’t felt since he was just a stupid little kid in Shiganshina.

Alive.

That’s what it was.

For the first time in years, Eren felt alive.

“Hey, Eren.”

His smile immediately washed from his face at the sound of your voice.

Coffee.

Marker.

Spaghetti and wine.

Eren rapidly blinked as he reached up to rub his throbbing temples. “...fuck-..”

Your hands held his in an instant, pulling them away from his head as Eren’s eyes fluttered open to meet yours. It reminded him of the first thing he’d seen after waking up that morning.

Eren quickly looked over at Armin in a wordless plea for his best friend to save him.

Instead, Armin smiled. “I’ll give you guys some alone time.” He said.

Eren’s eyes widened. “But Armin I-”

“What?” He asked with a short laugh. “Don’t tell me you don’t want to spend time with your girlfriend?”

Eren’s mouth slammed shut. He felt like it’d be weird if he denied it because obviously the version of him that knew you would have been jumping at the opportunity. 

“Don’t stress about it, Eren,” Armin told him as he stood, placing a hand on his friend's shoulder as he passed by him. “Just take it slow and you’ll figure it out.” 

“R-Right…” Eren mumbled as he watched Armin walk away.

There was a moment of hesitation.

A moment when the two sides of Eren slipped into a war of what he should do:

   Leave with Armin.

   Stay with her.

Ever so slowly Eren looked back at you.

Your hands still held his as you stared at him. Eyes wide and lips slightly parted as you took in one shaky breath after another. It looked like you were studying him. Watching. Waiting for some sort of clue that’ll give you a big grand “ah-hah!” moment. 

It made Eren’s heart jump into his throat as his stomach sank.

His fingers twitched with the desire to reach out and tuck a piece of hair behind your ear. To hold your face in his hands and let his thumb trail across your cheek. He knew what it felt like to do it, and now he knew it was because he’d done it before.

He couldn’t remember it, but he’d done it before.

“Follow your instincts,” Mikasa had told him, “no matter which lifetime, you’ve always been pretty good at doing that.”

Eren swallowed the lump in his throat. 

For the first time all day, he let the other side of him win. He gave into the desire to be next to you, to touch you, to simply exist in the same space as you- he let it take over.

His instincts.

That’s what it was. It was his instincts.

Eren’s fingers delicately ghosted your cheek, which suddenly became warm under his touch. Just like he’d been imagining doing: he tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, allowing his fingers to linger there for a moment so he could admire your soft skin and the way brushing against it sent a rush of warm affection right to his heart.

Your laugh as you walked through the park on campus.

Selfies taken at graduation.

Drunkenly stumbling down the street after a late night out.

This time it wasn’t single thoughts with no context of where they were from. This time the thoughts- the memories, were more vivid. More real. And it was you, clearly you, front and center in all of them.

“I’m-” Eren started without even knowing what he was about to say. It was his instincts again. The part of him that he was letting take control. The part of him that didn’t see you as a stranger. 

   The part of him that loved you.

He cleared his throat and started again: “I’m sorry I’ve been- um… distant.”

“Yeah...” you agreed, “you… you have been.”

“I just-” his eyes darted across your face. “My head’s all- I-”

“Eren.” You cut him off, causing his gaze to settle against yours.

((The night sky. The stars. The swirling green and blue.))

You smiled as you reached up to cup his hand, the hand that was still against your cheek, in yours. “I love you.” You reminded him.

The words came tumbling out of Eren’s mouth before he had a chance to catch them: “I love you too.”

“Let's clear up some space, guys!” Niccolo called as everyone began to push the tables aside to make room for a dance floor.

You and Eren snapped out of whatever moment you’d been having and jumped apart.

Before the music even started Sasha excitedly danced around and pulled Niccolo along with her in anticipation. 

Yesterday, you would have done the same thing as Sasha and tugged your boyfriend to the dance floor without the option of saying ‘no’. But today- today things were different and you still didn’t know why.

You were worried that if you asked him to dance he’d-…

The music started and you glanced at Eren only to realize he was already looking at you.

Suddenly you become self-conscious. The awkwardness was reminiscent of your first meeting. Of the time you’d uselessly tried to get Sharpie out of his new shirt.

There was a moment of hesitation, a moment where you thought he was going to turn away and avoid you like he’d been doing all day.

But then…

    Georgia~

Eren held out his hand.

    Wrap me up in all your- I want ya…

You hesitantly took it.

    In my arms-     Oh, let me…

He pulled you closer.

                  …hold ya

His other hand pressed to your lower back.

           Oh, I used to say~

And then you were slowly moving, just the two of you, sucked into your own little world as you become completely oblivious to everyone around you.

He avoided your eyes but still found a way to steal little glances here and there. He seemed-

Embarrassed. 

Just like he was the day you dabbed a microfiber cloth against the front of his shirt.

   I was lost within the darkness, but then I found her       I found you

“Welcome back, stranger.” You smile at Eren as he enters the coffee shop for the second time.

     Georgia, pulled me in I asked to- love her

“Are you asking me on a date?”

“Don’t laugh, you’ll hurt my ego.”

   Once again    You fell, I-      caught ya

You both jump as your hands accidentally brush together as you walk next to each other.

Your embarrassed and flustered expressions mirror each other.

Then the two of you burst out laughing.

“I would never fall in love agai until I found her”

You kiss for the first time on a park bench.

I said, “I would never fall unless it’s you I fall into”

“I love you.” 

“That’s… so cringe.”

     I was lost within the darkness, but then I found her

You excitedly throw yourself into his arms as he places the last moving box in your new apartment.

     I found you.

The memories came back to Eren in vivid flashes as you moved around the dance floor. It should have been overwhelming- having two lives suddenly meshing together in his head- but it wasn’t.

Instead, it was-

“Eren?” You asked, “Everything okay?”

He slides a red velvet box into his bedside table.

You burst into the room and almost ruin the surprise.

“Yeah,” Eren answered softly, “I’m-...” 

“I would never fall in love again until I found her”

“I’m great.” He smiled.

I said, “I would never fall unless it’s you I fall into”

His hand came up to cup your cheek, gently stroking his thumb across your skin.

     I was lost within the darkness, but then I found her      I found you

Eren pressed lips against yours, kissing you for the first time all day as the memories of his lives- both of his lives, settled in their entirety in his mind.

He might not have known you in his last lifetime, but he found you in this one.

And in that moment, to Eren, that was all that mattered.

He pulled away from your lips, smiling as his thumb brushed across your cheek. He was overcome with the desire to tell you everything. To explain it all to you, even though his friends said it was better not to. Sure, he might sound crazy, but he had a feeling that you’d believe him. That you’d understand. That you’d hear him out and be just as equally amazed as he was when you realize the opportunity he had been given, everyone had been given, to be handed this second life.

So he’d tell you one day.

They all would.

Eren settled on that promise to himself. The promise that one day he’d be honest. The promise that one day you’d understand why he’d woken up so confused. For now though, he just wanted to enjoy the second life he’d been given.

And the fact that, somehow, you were a part of it.

A City Street

“It looks great, Niccolo,” Eren told his friend with a wide grin as he firmly shook his hand. “I bet you’ll have the most popular restaurant on the whole block.”

“Yeah well, my only competition is a bakery that’s closed every day but Sundays,” Niccolo told him.

“See? You’re already killing it!”

Niccolo laughed and shook his head. “Glad you could make it, Eren.” He said, patting Eren’s shoulder as he passed him a knowing glance. “And… we’re glad to have you back.”

You weren’t entirely sure what Niccolo meant by it, but you figured that today was weird enough that you weren’t going to question it.

“Nicoooooooooo…” Sasha drunkenly sang as she leaned against the door of the restaurant. “There’s no more wineeeee…”

“Oh god.” Niccolo sighed.

You snickered as he turned around and caught his shit-faced fiance before she ended up face-first against the pavement.

“Ready to go?” Eren asked, wrapping his arm around your shoulders before he pressed his lips to the top of your head.

“Yep!”

You and Eren were one of the last few to leave. Everyone else had gotten way too drunk to stay any longer, but Eren hadn’t wanted to go home. He was having too much fun dancing, laughing, and bouncing around the room like a complete social butterfly.

“You had a lot of energy tonight.” You joked as the two of you walked down the street together. 

Eren laughed. “I was excited.”

“Yeah, I could tell. I think you talked to everyone there, even Annie.”

He scoffed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“That you normally try to avoid her because of that time she threw you over her shoulder and kicked your ass.”

“No, no, no you’re remembering that wrong.”

“I am not!”

“Totally are. I kicked her ass, remember?”

“Okay,” you snickered again, “just keep telling yourself that.” 

It didn’t take long for you to reach the train station. Eren’s arm wrapped back around your shoulder as you took a seat on one of the benches. The sign above the station indicated that your train would be another five minutes, but you didn’t care how long it took.

With a sigh, you leaned against Eren’s chest. He rubbed your arm in return.

“Cold?” He asked.

“Nah.” You answered. 

He pulled off his jacket and placed it around your shoulders anyway.

“Now you’re gonna be cold, dumbass.” You mumbled, tightening his jacket around you nonetheless.

“Pfft, I’m too sexy to get cold.”

“So you’re saying I’m not sexy?”

“Eh,” Eren shrugged, “you’re alright.”

You playfully slapped his chest as he laughed. He grabbed your hand before you could pull it away. “Hey,” Eren started, tone shifting to something much more serious as his fingers curled around yours.

“What?”

“I’m sorry.” He kissed the tips of your fingers. “For… For being weird today.”

“...It’s okay,” you mumbled.

“No, it’s not. I was being distant for no reason and it was probably really shitty for you.”

You curled your fingers around his and squeezed his hand as you looked down into your lap. “It-… yeah it kinda sucked.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Eren reassured you.

“Then… what happened?”

Eren opened his mouth to say something, but just as quickly he closed it again. “It’s-... It’s not something easy to talk about.”

He thought about the promise he made to himself on the dance floor, the promise to tell you one day. To tell you the entire story, not leaving out a single detail, starting the moment he woke up from a weird dream in Shiganshina and ending when Mikasa’s blade met his neck.

He needed time though.

Time to think about how to say it. To tell it. To put it in a way that he can convey how wrong he was in his last life and how much better he wanted to be in this one.

Time.

One of the two major things he was missing in his first life.

Time and-…

“It’s okay, Eren.” Your words cut through his thoughts. “Just tell me when you’re ready, alright?”

The way you looked at him, with so much trust in your eyes, made Eren’s stomach flip and his heart pound.

So he promised it to himself again. He promised that he’ll tell you, one day, after a little bit of time.

Eren cupped your cheek in his palm and pulled you in for a kiss.

You sighed as your boyfriend kissed you. Your eyes slid closed and the comforting familiarity of his kiss made everything in the world seem right.

Made everything seem perfect, once again.

And, just like always, you didn’t want to change a single thi-

Crisp hospital sheets.

The afternoon light against a bandaged face.

Green pills in a paper cup.

You froze.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“I snuck you an extra apple, don’t tell anyone or they’ll accuse me of picking favourites~”

“Hey,” warm fingers brushed against your forehead.

“Why would I skip out on the festival, it sounds like fun!”

“What’s going on?”

   Fire.

   Rubble.

   Screaming.

He called your name.

   A grip.

   A squeeze.

   A pop.

“Can you hear me?”

   The deafening sound of complete silence,

followed by the terrifying sight of pitch black.   

Your eyes fluttered open. 

You didn’t recognize where you were. You didn’t recognize the sounds, or the smells, or the loud voice that came from nowhere saying: “next train arriving, please stand behind the yellow line” .

But you did recognize something.

Someone.

And the sight of him, freshly shaved, hair cut and styled, free of bandages with no crutches to make up for a missing leg- it made your heart flutter, just like it always did.

You smiled, because what other reaction could you possibly have when you were looking directly at the man you were forbidden to love, but loved so deeply despite it. 

You said the only thing you could, given the miracle before you: “Are we there, Mr. Kruger?” You asked him. “Are we… somewhere nice?”

Suddenly Eren knew exactly who you were.

Suddenly, he remembered why he’d forgotten in the first place.

“She’s distracting you, Eren,” Zeke said as he placed a baseball on the bench between them.

“No she’s not,” came Eren’s monotone reply.

But now Eren could never forget again. Not the longing. Not the guilt. Not the feeling of bones breaking, the smell of fresh blood, or the bursting of flesh between his titan’s fingers.

“Then kill her,” Zeke said casually, as if the words meant nothing.

Eren would never forget again.

He would never forget how it felt when he, the attack titan, crushed you in his hands and discarded your lifeless body against the war-torn streets of Liberio…

[THE END]

[sugar-crash]

🍬King Candy (Wreck-It Ralph) x (gn) Reader👑

(First Date Edition!)

(Picture’s not mine)

(Request here! Picking out songs for this loser is so much easier than I thought it’d be, like I’d make my friends help me choose with previous posts I’ve done on my main, only for me to pluck these songs straight from my playlist.)

- Again this man is an avid date enjoyer, a complete contrast to how he was as Turbo, with him openly liking the concept of dates because he associates it with spending time with you, taking your attention up to fulfill his need for it.

- His intentions with you go from pure to not so pure (in a manipulative way you sickos) in a way akin to a pendulum, flicking back and forth while not going to their full extremes, at least not yet.

- Your first date is far from what it’d be Pre-RoadBlasters, having actual date stuff to it because he wants you to see him as a gentleman and a proper lover in general.

- His grip on everything at that point, where he knows who you are as a person to a great degree helps him mold that first date into something that benefits and his efforts to keep this relationship going.

- I’m thinking something small and yet classic, like a nice personal dinner in the castle spent after he claims his spot on the avatar roster for the umpteenth time, his golden coin pocketed for next time when he has to do it all over again.

- It’s the start of something rather grand, which he reiterates and emphasizes to his candy people as he makes them set things to your liking before you come.

- Everything has to be perfect for you, it’s much like the movie Coraline, the Beldam was able to make everything just look so picturesque at first in a way that was able to eventually ensnare Coraline into trusting her in the matter of a couple of days.

- However King Candy is more… Dare I say realistic in his approach? Like there’s no piano that plays you or a gravy train that pours it for you, but every request you may have is done almost immediately.

- Everything is done right by you— I mean, this is King Candy’s domain, and being his s/o gets you brownie points indefinitely.

- I think it’s a way to get you to keep coming, to spend your time in Sugar Rush than anywhere else, I mean— Why would you want to go anywhere else after hours when you are treated so well??

- That and the various areas of Sugar Rush are so numerous— So varied, so explorable, and he’s more than happy to drive you around the place whenever you want.

- Performative to a fault, which is something that comes from Pre-RoadBlasters— He needed to be for the sake of being the protagonist and main avatar of Turbo Time after all, everyone kinda has to be— But him especially.

- In a way, I think he was able to both perpetuate and diverge from who he was, those negative traits thriving underneath the guise of being a ruler who is highly defensive of his game and the citizens who reside in it.

- But in reality, he’s only really defensive over you— Much like the game he was able to alter and become a usurper for he worked hard to get this to where he wanted, and now that he had it and by extension you— He’s not exactly keen to let it all go.

- That first date when you look back at it later on encapsulates that desperation to be King Candy, to be something he wasn’t by any means while fooling everyone, fooling you.

- As King Candy, he’s more in tune with what he feels and knows how to react and when to react, giving off a more friendly aura that initially lures you in and makes you keep coming, especially if you are a particularly lonely person— Probably having no frame of reference to what a healthy relationship looks like beyond the niceties of previous relationships that didn’t stick as well as what you had with him.

- The more vulnerable you become with him the better he can worm his way into your heart and brain in an irreversible manner.

- That’s the thing with him, he wants to be significant so bad to any gamer or fellow game character that warrants it— Much like how Ralph is, but far more extreme, to the degree in which if it warrants it— He will kill someone to get what he wants, caution thrown to the wind if he’s been aggravated enough.

- That extreme behavior can even be seen in that first date you both have together, with him being strung up for brief moments when you bring something up that’s something he can’t easily explain away with smoke and mirrors.

- But those cracks aren’t established just yet, he’s able to get you wanting more and that’s enough to make him a bit giddy as he rejoices over this new and promising connection you have with him.

- It’s the start of something good, something bad, and something downright ugly.

(Svcl jhu mpa zv thuf kpmmlylua klzjypwapvuz av nv hsvun dpao kpmmlylua zpabhapvuz... Buzahisl pz aol wlymlja dvyk mvy doha fvb adv ohcl.)

[hgejfmw-hgejhsf]

Six Sentence Sunday

Greetings, my loves! I'm trying to hop on this train early this week (and it’s officially Sunday where I am), so here I am, post-fic-release, trying to figure out which snippet from which of my *cough* 29 *cough* WIPs that I ought to share with y'all, and I have decided on TWO sets of six sentences from 1) a fic that I definitely started this morning because I am weak and my muse does what she wants (waiting to see if y'all can guess the premise of this one) and 2) my semi-completed, just-needs-to-be-edited 5+1 where Alex/Henry have sex anywhere on the property of the lake house that they want.

Henry is alone. Knees drawn in tight, chin resting atop them. Occasionally, he’ll lift his head to take a long swallow of wine straight from the bottle, not even bothering to transfer it to a glass. Somewhere in his mind is his late grandmother’s voice, chastising him for a lack of decorum. He supposes she’ll never leave him, even in death. Even after he carefully set down his crown for the last time and walked away, clawing and scraping for every inch of space he could carve into the earth between the life he chose and the life assigned to him.

AND

Alex continues to stroke him through it, leaning up and over to clean Henry’s sticky skin with his tongue. Henry comes back into his body slowly as his mind drags farther and farther behind, enveloped in a blanket of plush cotton bliss that makes the world before his eyes appear soft and blurry, as if viewed through the haze of a gauzy curtain. He distantly registers the brush of a finger along his cheek before he realizes that Alex has caught a tear that escaped from the corner of his eye. “You all right?” Alex asks as Henry manages to blink a pair of dark brown eyes and long, unruly curls back into focus before him. “Perfect,” Henry mutters. “Take me to bed, love.”

Throwing out some no-pressure tags into the universe for: @adreamareads @affectionatelyrs @anchoredarchangel @anincompletelist @barbiediaz @cha-melodius @cricketnationrise @daisymae-12 @duchessdepolignaca03 @firenati0n @gayrootvegetable @getmehighonmagic @guillermosfamiliar @happiness-of-the-pursuit @heybuddy-drabbles @indomitable-love @indestructibleheart @inexplicablymine @junebugclaremontdiaz @kiwiana-writes @leaves-of-laurelin @leojfitz @lfg1986-2 @littlemisskittentoes @lizzie-bennetdarcy @magicandarchery @msmarvelouswinchester @mulderscully @ninzied @notspecialbabe @onthewaytosomewhere @priincebutt @rockyroadkylers @ships-to-sail @songliili @sparklepocalypse @ssmtskw @stereopticons @suseagull04 @theprinceandagcd @thinkingaboutelephants @thinkof-england @tintagel-or-cockleshells @typicalopposite @user-anakin @vanillahigh00 @violetbaudelaire-quagmire @whimsymanaged @wordsofhoneydew @zwiazdziarka

[scarletsinnerz]

FREE MLP COMMISSIONS.

EXAMPLE OF MY ART BELOW:

[I did not draw the background, it's a screen shot from the MLP fim series]

Howdy guys!

I'm opening a Instagram store for LPS and MLP commissions, adopts, pfps, and more! It's still a wip so nothing is for sale yet. And because I don't have too many MLP drawings to show for example, I thought I would open a few FREE commissions!

Instagram store link here.

[I'd also like to sell LPS clothes, stickers, customs, etc. eventually as well, but it'll be a while before that happens-]

I can draw an original character of yours, whether that be a random MLP OC or I can draw your pony sona/self insert. I can also draw any of the canon/fandom ponies from the My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic series.

Or if you'd rather, I can make/design an adopt for you! You can give me some details/ideas you'd like included, or I can make the character from scratch and completely surprise you! I can also make a pony sona for you if you don't have one already. You can give me some details about you (things you like, fave colors, etc). And again, I can surprise you or you can tell me what/how you want to look like and I can draw it for you! (coat color, mane and tail color, length and style, cutie mark, whether you want to be a pegasus, unicorn, or Earth pony).

And if you don't know, I can choose for you on which I think best suits you out of the three! Whichever you'd like. We can go over and discuss more details if you want as well.

Don't be afraid to ask me any questions you may have!

The commission will be done digitally by me on procreate. It'll probably take me a week or a few to complete as I can be busy irl and I'll have multiple comms to do. So I ask you for your patience as I make this for you. Thank you.

I will be taking a total of 3 FREE commissions for now. But I may take more in the future. I'll make an edit on here and on my profile once all of the slots are taken. It is first come first serve, to make it fair.

Now for commission rules:

You can post it anywhere you want, but you MUST give me credit.

You cannot remove or alter my watermark/signature in anyway. This includes if you're using it as a pfp.

You cannot claim the drawing as your own creation, even if it is your OC, as I was the one who created it. Especially because the drawing is free, I think it's only fair that I receive credit in exchange.

I have every right to decline your comm for whatever reason.

I will only draw one character per commission. And it will be with a plain background only, as I don't have the time to draw backgrounds for everyone.

This comm is rather simple it won’t have lots of details and accessories and such. It’s just a single character comm with a plain background.

Please give me everything you have on your character that you want me to have in mind when drawing them.

You can print the artwork, but you cannot claim the drawing itself as your own creation. Again, please give me credit.

I reserve full rights to the image and it's use unless otherwise agreed upon.

I will do everything I can to make my customers happy! If you have a problem with anything, please let me know. I'm sure we can figure it out together.

That is everything for now, sorry for writing so much. ^^

REMEMBER THE COMM IS COMPLETELY FREE. 3 SLOTS OPEN ONLY!!!

[mrbexwrites]

Writer Questions

@museandquill tagged me Thanks <3 (Even though it has taken me a while to get round to this- it's been in draft purgatory for a while :/)

What is your absolute all-time favorite idea you’ve ever had?

This is a tough one. I think it's the storyline for Memento Mori part III. I'm really fond of Morgana's personal growth, how she allows herself to be vulnerable again, and just the overall murder mystery/conspiracy plot. As I wrote this before I'd written Parts I and II, I have made it harder for myself to link in certain plot points, and I've had to retcon a lot of things, but I'm still proud of how it all came together as a standalone story.

Is there a question you’ve been asked in the past that really stands out to you, and you still think about sometimes?

@sarahlizziewrites once asked me about my OCs idle animations if they were in a video game, and I still think about that from time to time. It really focused me on what my characters' quirks and little habits would be. It's such a good question, that I quickly stole it, and have asked it to other people!

What is your favorite part of being a writer? What parts could you take or leave?

I love having a chance to write down the little stories of the people who just wander into my head. I like to plot out their character arc, and figure out what makes them tick; what drives them, and how they would react when put in certain scenarios. I dream of the day when I write a perfect first draft, that never needs edited. Editing can get in the bin. I hate it. If I ever become a millionaire, I'm paying someone a ridiculous amount of money to edit for me.

What is your greatest motivation to write/create?

I do enjoy that little dopamine hit from someone commenting something nice on a post; but honestly, even if I got no traction, I'd still write. I've been writing without feedback for years (because nothing I wrote ever got shared anywhere or with anyone). I just write. I think it's part of who I am, and even if no one else likes it, or even reads it, I'd probably still write, regardless.

What is the best piece of advice you’ve ever read or been given as a writer?

Find the writing advice that works for *you*. There is loads of advice out there, but if it doesn't work for you, or feel tight, then you don't do it. Only *you* can write your story.

What do you wish you knew when you were first starting out writing?

You'll never get a scene from your head perfectly onto the page; stop trying to make everything perfect, and aim for good. The most important thing to do, is to write it down, and then you can polish it. But you can't improve unless you write it down first.

What is your favorite story you’ve written to completion? Link it if you’d like and can!

My favourite completed series (and only completed series <.<) is Memento Mori although only part I has been posted. My favourite story is Blood Covenant, and one that I'm actually proud of. The first draft wasn't too shabby (if I do say so myself) and just needs a little tweak before I'll think about posting it in full!

Which of your characters would you say has the most controversial mindset? Why do you say so, and how do you personally feel about their ideals?

Victor, from Memento Mori part II; he is a 'victory at any cost' kind of person, and is pretty ruthless when it comes to achieving his goal. Whilst I don't agree with his methods, I do admire his drive, and his ability to stick to his principles, as well as his unshakable belief that he is right about everything. That's pretty much the only positive thing I can say about him; he's the villain for a reason. He's not someone that I'd want to spend time with, or be friends with. I'd not want to have to work with him because he is so unflinching and uncompromising. He will get the job done, no matter what- he'd sell his own mother to get what he wants, and that gives me the chills. He really has no moral compass, only goals, which are, essentially, to keep himself in power.

If you, when you first started writing, met you now, what would younger you think?

I like to think younger me would be impressed with how far I've come. The fact that I have made so many awesome writblr friends, shared some of my WIPS, allowed them to be read by people for feedback & critiscism... Not to mention just how many words I have written, WIPS I've completed. Younger me would never have thought I'd have made it this far !

Passing the tag onto : @queen-tashie @clearcloudlesssky @mkw-writes (hello new writblr friend) @spideronthesun @scifimagpie and leaving an open tag :)

[trademarkblue]

The Handmaid's Tale Rewatch: 1x01

So, I started rewatching the show a few weeks back. I want to get through every episode before the final season airs. I'm watching 2-3 episodes per week, so I'm going to start posting about that here so we can talk about them!

Man. Let me just start by reiterating how jaw dropping the first episode of this show is to me. It's so rare to find a show, in my opinion, that just knocks it so far out of the park on the very first episode. It's paced like a movie, which I think is kinda what hooked me immediately... because honestly, I feel like TV shows drag a lot these days, knowing that they can, that they have 8-12 episodes to deliver ONE SECTION of a story that might be intended to run for 5+ seasons. They tend to sprinkle things in at a snail's pace from the beginning. So, that really makes a slam dunk like 1x01 of THT just that much more impressive.

You get to know so many of the characters that you'll follow for so many years... and it's not just a curious introduction, but you're given a really solid idea of who they are. And we even get a full circle shared joke between Nick and June, complete with flirting, flawless editing, and adorably smoldering eye contact.

Let's play "what's your favorite moment from 1x01."

It's the whole classic oranges & tune scene for me, but this exact moment - where Nick walks into the kitchen and nearly trips over himself when he spots June there - is just the cutest and most hilarious 3 seconds ever recorded. His whole body is literally doing an "oh shit" moment, and he's like 105% obsessed with her already.

What's your favorite moment from this episode? Feel free to reblog and add a screenshot or clip so we can get a 1x01 chain going! I would also love to hear your stories on when/how you got into this show and this ship!

If you're a podcast listener, here are the links to the spoiler free and spoiler full discussions of 1x01 from Above the Garage:

The June & Nick Cut:

About a year ago, I edited together every June & Nick scene + every Nick scene + every mention or insinuation of Nick into what I called "The June & Nick Cut." I unspliced unrelated content when it was mixed into Osblaine scenes, shortened long scenes with brief mentions of them so only the mention and context is included, and worked with the audio to make transitions smoother.

The full file for seasons 1-5 is 6 hours and 53 minutes long, including some title cards in 3 spots to serve as intermissions. Rather than post that whole 18 gig file, I'm going to post just the chunk that goes with the episode I'm writing about. So, if you'd like to download the Osblaine only version of each episode, you'll have the links for those within these posts. Enjoy!!

I would really appreciate credit if you share these anywhere else, because this project did take a whole lot of work. Like uncountable hours of work. And I really am pretty proud of it. ♥️

[miss-midnightt]

Sephesis Week Day 1: "We Seek it Thus"--Calm Before the Storm

The sky was overcast, clouds deep grey and swollen, threatening rain. Humidity hung heavy in the air, uncomfortable and sticky in the summer heat. A calmness filled the air. Storm season had arrived late to Banora, and now it was here.

The sound of boots on gravel broke the silence. A boy, no older than fourteen or fifteen, crested the hill. Choppy, shoulder length auburn hair, blue eyes lined with dark eyeliner, slightly smudged above the right eye, light smattering of freckles across the nose—Genesis. His attire both showcased his deliberate fashion and complete disregard for the climate; skinny jeans and leather do not mix well with Augusts in Banora.

He looked up at the sky, shrugging dismissively before pulling out a stick of his favorite apple flavored lipgloss from his pocket. Genesis lazily swiped it across his lower lip, then rubbed his lips together. The lipgloss was recapped and stowed away.

He walked slowly, not in a particular hurry to get anywhere. He cracked his knuckles (a nervous habit that he couldn’t be bothered to break) and examined his nails. The shiny maroon polish he’d painted on them one, two nights ago was slightly chipped, nails bitten to the quick (yet another nervous habit).

A light breeze started up; it prompted a rustling in the apple trees and a poorly tacked poster on the telephone pole to fly off, carried by the wind. It fluttered aloft for about fifty feet before it flew into Genesis’ face unceremoniously.

The boy grumbled, peeling it away from his face. As he was about to crumple it and toss it away, he caught a glimpse of the face on the poster.

‘The hero of Wutai has returned victorious! Join Shinra and fight alongside him!’ It read; underneath the text was a large picture of Sephiroth, in all his glory.

Genesis smiled involuntarily at the poster—or rather the boy on the poster—as he traced two fingers lightly across the image.

“We seek it thus—“ he began, before a fat raindrop landed on the poster. Genesis neatly folded the paper and tucked it away with his lipgloss.

A few more droplets fell before it began to rain in earnest. The sudden downpour surprised Genesis, who hurried his pace, arms raised to protect his hair from the rain. —-- Genesis carefully pinned the slightly crumpled poster on the wall. It fit in neatly with the many other similar posters of the famed war hero.

He smoothed it out and stepped away, nodding in approval to no one but himself. Walking over to his vintage desk, Genesis tugged at the slightly sticky drawer until it opened. He grabbed an apple lollipop and opened it, tossing the wrapper into the little wastebasket below his desk.

Genesis set to painting his nails, this time a deep purplish red. He absentmindedly crunched on the lollipop, fantasies of meeting the boy on his wall and becoming a hero taking him far, far away, to Midgar.

——

Many, many miles away, Sephiroth looked up at the grey sky. It would rain soon, he knew. Best to set up camp while it was still dry. That is what he told everyone else, and so it was done. No one questioned the hero of Wutai, Shinra’s finest, the first SOLDIER. 

He hated it.

Sephiroth went through the motions—pitch tent. Survey camp. Recheck tent. It was the same every time, more or less. After a while, he had gotten used to it.

——

The boy sat in his newly pitched tent, sharpening his sword. His face was set, solemn, focused. Very adult—it did not suit Sephiroth’s round, soft cheeks or wide baby blue eyes. Not that he cared.

The sound of the other people in camp was faint in the background. Somewhere in the distance, the roll of thunder could be heard.

The movement of the whetstone paused, then stopped. Sephiroth set the sword aside as the first raindrops began to fall. 

He pulled out the picture of his mother from his breast pocket, cradling it to his chest.

If only he had a wall to pin it to.

@sephesisweek

(edited because i wanted to add some stuff lmao)

Posted to AO3 here

[thevalkyriesshadow]

Writing tag game by @bonecarversbestie !

Describe your writing process from idea to posting/publishing?

My ideas: I'm often inspired by moodboards, pinterest images, writing prompts I see on tumblr, movies and shows I watch...inspiration is everywhere! I also try and write things I'm familiar with or things I have interest in. It makes the research part more entertaining and engaging! Once I get an idea I play out the story in my head for a few days before I'm sure I like the possibilities of the story...if I really like the idea I get right to writing, even if it's a part of a scene or a small intro.

I LOVE THE RESEARCH ASPECT OF WRITING

I know, the boring part, but I learn so many new things and I like my fics to be accurate to a degree...of course at some point I just have to be like "Debbi, it's okay if it's not possible for your character to survive a fifty foot drop -- you're doing it for the angst!!!!!"

Writing/Editing: I keep everything I do to Google docs! I can access it anywhere from my phone and I love the outline tool. As soon as I get an idea, I make a new doc and add the idea or outline.

I will write at home, on the bus, on my break at work, anywhere! I'm shameless so I don't mind writing smut next to strangers on a bus or in a cafe 😅 I like to write a chapter out without really focusing on editing, and if there's a moment where I'm struggling to find a way to phrase or talk about something or a word to use, I just bold that section and keep going. Then I'll go back and edit it.

I'll admit, I'm an awful editor LOL I'll go back through and make sure it makes sense (I like to try and find creative ways to get what's in my head on paper and sometimes it just doesn't sound good LOL)

I only recently had people start reading my stuff before posting and I always feel so bad for the grammar of mine they have to endure (To my beta readers, I love you and you're awesome! 💖)

I just have to remind myself that Stephen King had horrible grammar, but incredible stories. That keeps me going hahaha

Posting/Publishing: I am too lazy to go back through and type in the html, so I just hope and pray my italics make it through while copying it to AO3. So far it's cooperated. I've only had to go back and add in italics two or three times.

I like to promote my stuff with sneak peeks before posting fully, and recently I've been addicted to making playlists on spotify for my fics, little collages for when I post a new chapter on tumblr, creating ways for my readers to engage with the story by letting them choose certain things that happen next.

Are you a plotter or a pantser?

Both! 😅

Thirty Moments I planned out. I did have a thirty day OTP prompt I had written for merthur back in like 2014 so I followed that and changed it up a bit to go with acotar/gwynriel, and I knew I wanted the prompts to tell a story as they went along rather than them being one-offs so that required planning. That was my most extensive outline. My other outlines are quick little notes, like a basic idea of what's coming next...some times I follow that and some times it derails completely and I go off course!

BB, NH is very much pantsing. I went into it deciding that's how I'd do it because I wanted to try the method and I really like pantsing!

I think it really depends on the fic for me and how much bandwidth I have for the fic.

What do you listen to when you are writing?

Spotify playlists that fit the vibe of the story, or the playlist I created for the fic!

There's also a guy who plays the trumpet in the park I live next to, so sometimes I'll just listen to that as I write 🤣

What’s your drink of choice (while writing)?

I find my best writing happens in the morning so I'll usually have coffee or tea. In the afternoons if I'm writing it's kind of whatever I'm drinking; water, seltzer, wine...I don't have a specific drink I stick to when writing.

Promote yourself! What’s your favourite thing you’ve written?

Um, all of it? hahahaha no but I really loved Thirty Moments Tell A Story. It was my first major (published - I wrote something right after reading ACOSF and it was basically word vomit, but word vomit with potential so I'm currently editing that lol) Gwynriel fic and I loved the themes I explored.

Share a fic of yours that you think is underrated/deserves more love.

I'm going to shamelessly share FOUR of my one shots that deserve more love:

Please...Stay (because I love some angst with a happy ending)

The Priestess Listened (because Azriel just needs someone to listen to him)

Song of the Shadowsinger (what I think happened *HOFAS spoiler* when Azriel returned without TT)

Getaway Car (I got this idea when driving through Philly...it's the wild west in these mean streets)

Do you have any advice for new writers?

From the inspirational words of Shia LaBeouf: JUST DO IT

Seriously. Write the awful stories. Write the ones you can't get out of your head, or the ones that you only gave a minute of thought to. Writing anything helps you to hone your craft and meld it to what you want it to look like.

Try and write a little everyday. Even if it's a sentence, editing, an idea...anything to keep the juices flowing.

Take your time. Don't rush it.

This part is easier said than done, but don't be hard on yourself. Write because you like to do it, not because you're expecting a million hits or comments or kudos.

Talk with other writers and get their advice.

Read, read, read...seeing other writing helps to fuel and inspire yours!

Take breaks and remember to be kind to yourself!

What is a writing style/technique that others do really well that you'd like to get better at?

I like my smut, but I think I could do better at making it less telling and more showing.

Is there a character you were surprised you enjoyed writing as much as you did?

I like writing about the other Valkyries and giving them personalities. I liked writing Azriel’s mother as well!

I also have Balthazar as a beta in my Valkyrie appreciation week fic and I've only written one line for him so far but I'm already entertained by him 🤣

Thank you for tagging me @sadiegirl2021

No pressure tags: @captain-of-the-gwynriel-ship @oristian @shadowsxgwynriel @foreverinelysian