#it’s annoying cause i prefer theaters for this reason

[theloyalpin]

you know i been busy asf cause it’s already february and i’ve only logged 1 film this year on letterboxd ☠️

[ceasarslegion]

Ive made my stance on oppenheimer discourse very clear but one detail of it that really bothers me is the "movies about sad white men are always bad" attitude, and i didnt really know why until i was able to sit down and parse it out.

Here's the thing. I have a film degree, I've spent more time in movie theaters than I have sleeping and I've easily seen more films and shows than all of my peers combined. Which isn't a flex btw, I'm a little hermit who prefers the warm embrace of a cinema seat to human connection and is the most annoying mfer imaginable during family movie night; don't be like me.

But I know hollywood, I know cinema history, and I know the legitimate frustration this attitude comes from. Hollywood doesn't like to take risks, they have to historically be dragged kicking and screaming into any territory that isn't a guaranteed profit, which usually means that we get periods of stagnation where every film is the same goddamn formula over and over again until audiences get sick of it and stop buying tickets en masse. Hollywood also tends to reflect the dominant culture and the sociopolitical issues of the time, but not SOOO much that you'd rock the boat. As an exec, you wanna hit that sweet spot where audiences relate to your films without them being so blatant that they'd cause them to question things that weren't acceptable to question. Noir was a picture-perfect example of that.

And in the modern day, that DOES tend to translate into the weird genre of Sad White Man Who Regrets Killing Foreigners movies. Like American Sniper. But I've seen American Sniper, so I can speak on how lowkey disturbing I found it, and the history it's based in and the goals it had as an art piece were to make you sympathize with a system of corruption. And here's my unpopular opinion: if done RIGHT, those films still have a place within the cinematic sphere of influence, like if you made a film exploring the psyche and experiences of what leads a man to willingly participate in a system like that, but that's not really what it was.

Now let's move onto Oppenheimer and other films like it. I don't think these films are at ALL equivalent to films like American Sniper, even if they follow a sad white man who regrets killing foreigners. You are looking at the bare bones surface level of it and assuming its contents both real world and dramatized and judging it based on that instead of the, well, actual film.

One of the biggest differences here is that Oppenheimer WAS an important historical figure just, objectively. Even removing all western racial influence from the equation, you can not look me in the eyes and tell me that the man who invented the atomic bomb in the middle of the largest world war of modern history was not an important historical figure. If you try to make THAT argument just based on the sad white man-ness of him, I'm sorry but your point is already moot, because it's not based in historical fact anymore but your own personal subjective feelings. He IS an important historical figure, he's not soldier number 648 in the middle of a massive battlefield who followed other peoples orders.

And also to be completely honest, you are a huge fucking liar if you try to claim that people like Dr. Oppenheimer are not interesting. Flawed people who make flawed decisions with complicated variables are what make for good fiction, so when one exists in the historical record, of course they are going to interest people. They are going to be studied and interviewed if they're still alive and have their entire lives and every word they said picked apart and analyzed because they are interesting. You are straight up lying if you try to act like these people arent interesting enough on their own to have media made about them, regardless of what identity they had that fits into the opposing side of the 21st centure culture wars. This attitude reminds me a lot of the people who claim that the only reason anybody could find true crime interesting is because they MUST want to fuck jeffrey dahmer or whatever. The argument just doesnt hold up because all it takes is one person going "thats not what i find interesting about them" to collapse that entire absolutist argument.

So yes, hollywood absolutely has a racism and war glorification issue. But I take issue when these accusations are just made blindly against any historical dramatization based on nothing but the poster. If you're going to talk about hollywoods sad white men issue, at least make sure the films youre citing actually fit that bill AND that you actually understand whats WRONG with those sad white men movies, because its not just the presence of a sad white male protagonist, its a conglomerate of various sociopolitical issues that must be present within those characters and what they represent.

[overthinkingtaleblr]

Hey. Having a bad week day right now and your blog is a huge comfort. Can I request some fluffy headcanons for PIE?

Of course! I'm a couple days late because I was swamped with work when the ask came in, but this has been living rent-free in my head for the past 24 hours. PIE has SO MUCH potential for headcanons, it would be amiss to not to touch on the softer side of things! I like to think that PIE was a turn for the better in all of their lives, and I do want to see them happy in spite of my open adoration of dramatics.

Time to let them be happy 🥺 I may have gotten carried away. Everything is under the cut! There are a LOT of words and I don’t expect everyone to read it all at once, it’s okay if it’s too much/you need to stop and come back to it later ^^;

Fluffy PIE Headcanons For The Soul (and Anon <3)

Personal Fluff

Colon actually didn’t believe in ghosts before his first mission with PIE. He just thought Ghost was interesting, and wanted to see what the job of a “paranormal investigator” entailed. He was already a bit of a hobbyist, reading some books about them for fun instead of thinking it was real. Since being introduced, he’s dived headfirst into exploring the paranormal and some types of magic. He feels like a whole new world has been opened up to him.

Colon loves the idea of being a parent some day and has done quite a bit of research to learn how to be properly responsible of children. He was considering being a teacher when he first entered college, but he preferred studying forensics to teaching it.

Because Colon is the only one of the team who has never met any of the other members of the team until adulthood, they don’t know anything about his family. Sometimes he just makes things up because he genuinely thinks they’re making things up with how crazy their families sound. They take him at face value.

Though he’s doing way better now that he’s older, Colon had some notable health issues while growing up, and is no stranger to hospitals and medical procedures. Taking care of his own health and taking note of his symptoms and what caused them has made him very good at giving advice when others are feeling sick, meaning he’s very on-top of making sure everyone is taking care of themselves (if they come to him first, he’s not here to pry). Especially Ghost.

Colon has a kind of beautiful and deep singing voice… but he only ever sings show tunes since he did a lot of theater growing up.

Ghost is usually very prickly, but gets more friendly to social and physical interactions when tired. This usually means he actually ends up more touch-friendly during all-night missions.

Growing up, Ghost’s dads taught him to sew and repair his own clothes when he was in middle school. Meaning in middle school and early high school, he had a variety of fun and interesting patches on his clothes.

Part of the reason why Ghost is so annoyed about being confused for the Ghostbusters is that he really feels like they “ruined” public perception of paranormal investigators in general. Despite his irritable nature, he’s aware that there is more to his job than deleting ghosts from existence and seeing every undead as a threat.

This is also why so much of the team’s tools and machines are home-constructed because he refuses to buy tools that the Ghostbusters sell or are associated with and they are kind of an industry giant. Also they were given some training by his dad but he likes to ignore that.

Ghost actually can read, he’s just super dyslexic and he’s basically decided he doesn’t even want to try if he’s going to be such an annoying struggle.

Spooker has a massive collection of stuffed animals that he treats with incredible love and care.

Spooker is actually allergic to cats, but loves cats and cat-themed things. He is willing to cuddle with a kitty if it means he has to suffer itchy eyes and sneezing. Won’t stop him from complaining about the consequences, though.

Technically out of the whole team, Spooker is both the least and most qualified member of the team. Part of the qualifications for the job is a degree in something that matches the field/industry, and Spooker doesn’t have that… what he DOES have is first-hand experience with the paranormal since BIRTH. He thinks that this is the funniest thing.

Spooker has everyone’s coffee/not coffee orders memorized and sometimes buys for the team on days where he feels he can take the detour.

Whatever the opposite of a green thumb is, Spooker has been cursed for it. He has killed every plant that has passed through his hands unless it was somehow already dead. He’s gotten into flower pressing to make up for it, and presses flowers that represent important dates to him.

After developing an interest in art in university, Toast actually learned how to sketch borderline photorealism, and has tons and tons of doodles in his writings. Buildings they explored on their journeys, sketches of the ghosts they encountered, and a Lot of beautiful but haunting pictures of Mary… and Ghost.

Toast keeps a planner with important dates circled and underlined, including the date everyone joined the team, everyone’s birthdays, and other important dates that may need celebration or revisiting.

In the PIE HQ, there’s a random tape of the Great British Bake-off mixed among all the other work VHS tapes by an old office TV. No one’s noticed it yet, but if they were to put it on, they’d see a college-age Johnny Toast featuring as one of the bakers in the episode. He looks so squishy.

Despite his job, Toast actually hates really scary horror movies and finds them to be a little too much. He can take supernatural-based movies since they feel so unrealistic to him, but the blood and gore in a lot of them is too much. Also, a lot of possession movies make him uncomfortable because he’s had to live through having someone he loves being possessed, and he doesn’t like how much it’s treated like the end-all be-all with few options.

Toast has a habit of feeding local stray animals, but doesn’t know all the local fauna and was feeding opossums for a long while thinking they were some kind of cat or bald rat or something, he didn’t want to ask.

Relationship Fluff

In order of who met first:

Johnny Ghost and Fred Soup

Surprisingly in first, Spooker first met Johnny Ghost when he was Gregory Casket. Spooker’s dad had several positive encounters with Timothy Casket and Johnny Ghost Senior, allowing for the two kids to have semi-frequent playdates. Ghost doesn’t remember this at all, but Spooker’s known since after the puppet arc. Spooker considers Ghost his oldest friend before of this.

Always the commanding kid, Gregory/Ghost actually came up with the nickname Spooker, it just stuck. Fred stopped going by the nickname around high school, but chose to take it up again because it just seemed to fit the paranormal investigating job.

Ghost has one-sided beef with Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza because of his time as a McDonalds manager in a city where everyone preferred pizza. Unknown to Spooker, this is most of the reason why Ghost was so annoyed during Spooker’s first mission. Ghost did Not want to be there and just wanted to leave as soon as possible.

Around when Chris first getting used to the team’s dynamic, he told Ghost that he’s far too critical to Spooker, so for about a week, Ghost tried holding himself back and being “nicer”. Spooker quickly caught on and told him that her liked that Ghost was honest and serious with him— even if it was kind of mean. He felt it meant that Ghost would always be honest with him and didn’t see him as someone who needed to be coddled.

Ghost was pretty openly mean about Spooker’s stuffed animals when he first joined the team, but got pretty used to them after awhile and will offer to repair them when one gets ripped or damaged so Spooker doesn’t get upset.

For his fifth anniversary with the team, Ghost made a big deal about not wanting to get anything for Spooker, only to present him with a hand-sewn stuffed animal with the PIE symbol on its little arms and back. Spooker cried.

Ghost tried to make him stop by saying that it was only made from scraps that Ghost had lying around from repairing the team’s stuff. Spooker cried harder.

He named the stuffed animal Tart and lets Woah sleep with it when she needs something to hold at night.

Johnny Ghost and Johnny Toast

Toast was actually seen as the problem child out of the two of them when they first met. Ghost was still kind of shell-shocked and processing his PSTD, and Toast was lashing out at anything because the sudden change in his lift was stressing him out. The two were sometimes paired together by the school’s faculty because they were hoping Ghost’s easy-to-startle nature would make Toast settle down. Instead, Ghost got more hectic as he worked through his problems, and Toast barely mellowed out as he adjusted to life in the States.

Ghost was the first person to really be there for Toast after what happened to Mary. He was the only one who really had an idea of what Toast was going through, and tried his best to give Toast the comfort that he would have wanted when he was going through his own grief. It was more effort than Toast was hoping for and really helped him in ways he didn’t know he needed.

Toast tried to go no-contact with his family around when he graduated University, and maintained it up until the founding of PIE. He saw how much working several jobs for all hours just to keep the lights at PIE on was wearing out Ghost, and reached back out to his family for the money so Ghost wouldn’t have to work so hard.

For the longest time, Toast’s Home Screen on his phone was him and Ghost making a hand heart together… in front of an explosion. Ghost had a similar one as his Lock Screen, except his was over a swallowing abyss, and his Home Screen was all black. Ghost thought it was funny, but Toast thought it was adorable that they matched.

Though he’s very prim and proper with the team, Toast is actually pretty messy when at home. He can manage his own stuff, but he struggles at keeping a tidy space. To make up for this, Ghost regularly marks days on the calendar when they’ll spend the morning cleaning before they go to work, and take note of what specifically needs focus throughout the week.

When Johnny Toast first got into cosplay, he would go to stores to get the outfits and wigs or buy them cheap online and try to grin and bear the quality. Ghost couldn’t help with the wig aspect, but he’d sew incredibly complicated outfit designs for Toast under the guise that he wanted to prove that the quality of the store-bought stuff was That Bad.

That’s part of why he doesn’t want to go anywhere with Toast while Toast is in cosplay because he’s actually kind of embarrassed of his earlier work but doesn’t want to make Toast retire his favorite outfits.

Both Toast and Ghost have had long enough hair to braid in the past (or present, for Ghost), and they’ve had moments of absent-mindedly braiding segments of each other’s hair.

Toast was Not the only person getting fangirls and stalkers, Ghost just looked at Toast, saw him as the hottest man on the planet, and went ‘yeah, that’s the only reason why they’re here.’

Johnny Toast and Fred Soup

Originally, Toast didn’t realize that Spooker was going to be a long-term member of the team, and he thought Spooker quit when he went missing halfway through the Puppet Arc. Realizing that Spooker lowkey sacrificed himself to try to save Ghost made Toast come around to him staying with the team… Spooker also didn’t realize Toast was the other member of the team until after Ghost got back, though. Only Ghost knows that they were both confused.

Spooker insists upon keeping track of the birthdays of ghosts that they see frequently, and Toast has begrudgingly began adding them to his planner. It does require trudging through graveyards or examining old records sometimes, and it can be a lot more work than anyone was asking for… but Toast is glad it makes Spooker happy.

Spooker loves Toast’s art and is trying to convince him to try coloring some of it with watercolors. Toast doesn’t want to admit that paint deeply confuses him, so he just lets Spooker do it for him.

Lacking blood when he’s spectral (a consequence of being half-ghost), Spooker actually struggles with generating his own body heat. On the other hand, Toast generates warmth faster when infected with lycanthropy. That being said, when both conditions are met, the two can consistently be found together, as close as possible.

Unexpected to Toast, Spooker actually knew several werewolves growing up and figured out Toast was a werewolf before anyone told him. This led to Spooker giving Toast some really good werewolf-coping advice up until he was properly cured, and Toast thinking it was just a really insane coincidence for like. A year after it.

Despite Spooker not really having a paycheck for literal years, Toast would find “sneaky” ways to pay him for his work. Toast thought he was slick, but Spooker just didn’t want to comment about how he was being given like 200 dollars for gas money and 500 dollars to restock the fridge at the base. He just thought it was like how Ghost was bad at reading and didn’t want to bring it up.

Spooker saw a picture of Toast with his hair long and in a ponytail soon after college and has been begging him to grow it out ever since then. He thinks Toast’s hair is literally angelic and can’t imagine why he likes it short. Toast just says he got sick of brushing ghost slime out of it.

Spooker can’t tell Toast and Gavin apart, to the point where he kind of doesn’t remember they’re different people after being explained that they are. Gavin feels horrible for tricking him because Spooker is always really nice to him, even after being told that he isn’t Toast. Toast thinks it’s funny, though.

Chris Ghostie and Johnny Ghost

Ghost was really friendly with Colon while he was driving Ghost to his location. It had been a long time since a stranger who was ignorant about the supernatural was actually interested in learning about it and wasn’t judgmental, weird, or gave Ghost a fake smile before brushing him off. They had a long, friendly conversation that mostly consisted in Ghost explaining how the paranormal worked from a professional perspective, which Colon was very receptive to. That’s the main reason why he allowed a stranger with no experience to come with him on a potentially dangerous mission. He thought Colon really had the chops for the job. And he was right.

Though Colon was initially very drawn to Ghost, there was a period of time where he doubted himself because Ghost could come off as kind of cruel to the other members of the team sometimes. It took him awhile to realize it was just a front and that Ghost had a very soft inside with a very prickly outside… that was also when he realized Ghost probably really liked him to start their friendship by exposing his soft side.

Colon originally found his nickname kind of annoying, but Ghost laughing about it actually made it grow on him over time. He’s found he’s grown more comfortable with it over time. Also, he’s found ways to make fun of Ghost back if it ever strikes a nerve with him.

Despite spending incredibly minimal time with the team compared to everyone else, Colon was able to tell the difference between Ghost and Casket incredibly easy. He’s started spraying Ghost with water when he suddenly spikes with Casket activity out of nowhere to startle Ghost back to attention.

He can also tell the difference between Johnny Ghost and Johnny Cranky almost immediately, but didn’t tell Cranky the first time the doppelgänger tried pulling one over on him. He made up a Ton of fake drama happening inside of PIE to freak Cranky out and circulate false information around DIE. At this point, he sees Cranky as the most unthreatening version of Ghost.

According to Colon, upon realizing Colon’s love of research and learning, Ghost appointed him the team teacher so that Colon could teach every newcomer to the team. According to Ghost, he gave Colon the job so he’d stop suggesting they hire or adopt every vaguely paranormal-inclined person and creature, because then they’d be his responsibility to deal with (he did not stop).

When Colon gets really excited about a book, he usually tells Ghost about it because chances are, Ghost is never going to read it so he really doesn’t care about spoilers. This is the only way that Ghost has ever actually gotten invested in books— fiction and nonfiction— because Colon is very, very thematic when he summarizes stories.

While Ghost was retired, Colon sent regular emails to Ghost’s work email as kind-of a diary. He figured that even if Ghost opened his work email, he wouldn’t read most of them, even if he sent something back. Ghost didn’t actually open his work email again until right before he was considering joining the team. Part him wanted to find it annoying, but it’s part of what eventually pushed him into joining back. He used TTS to read them all.

Fred Soup and Chris Ghostie

These two have the strongest stomachs to blood and gore on the team, and first started going over to each other’s places to watch horror movies together. They tried making it into a team thing, but had to stop making it a horror thing when they realized Ghost and Toast weren’t as into it.

When Spooker realized Ghost only recognizes him with the hat, it was Colon’s idea to dye his hair a bubblegum pink. He dyed streaks of his own hair a temporary blue in solidarity, but it was kind of hard to see without bleach.

Colon asked Spooker why he acts kind of stupid on the job, and Spooker explained that most ghosts would underestimate him if they thought he was stupid. Colon thought that as a little bit ingenious and will sometimes join in, much to Ghost’s tired annoyance. To be nice, Colon will take missions seriously when it’s just him and Ghost.

They started putting on Bluey for Woah to watch, but Colon quickly realized that some of the episodes counted as honest-to-god parenting advice and pulled Spooker into watching some of the episodes with him. He didn’t realize it would be actually kind of therapeutic for Spooker.

They have a Minecraft server together. Woah has her own special area that Colon used mod privileges around to ensure mobs wouldn’t spawn. They put their minecraft beds together.

Colon has a lot of dietary restrictions because of his. Whole relationship with specifically his colon, so Spooker went out of his way to learn new recipes and double-check some of his old recipes so Colon would always have something he could eat without a stomachache anytime Spooker cooks for the team. It took some experimenting, but they figured out a system, and Colon is really grateful.

In spite of getting all his information from Johnny ‘they are the most threatening, horrifying thing on the planet’ Ghost, he’s chosen to go out of his way to give Spooker’s demon cat plushie a chance. Though he is still a little suspicious about it getting too close to Woah.

Colon is the only member of PIE that Spooker has personally introduced to his dad without his dad knowing they were involved with PIE, meaning Colon is the only member of PIE who Chakalata likes. (He begrudgingly kept liking Colon even after finding out the truth.)

Chris Ghostie and Johnny Toast

Out of all the members of PIE, Toast was the only one Colon knew of before joining PIE. How? He’s read Toast’s book cover-to-cover. Several times. He has multiple sections and most of the cases detailed in that book memorized.

Colon is gradually and slowly trying to teach Toast to drive in return for more background information about Toast’s book.

A big reason why Toast doesn’t experience curses or magical afflictions as often as he used to isn’t really because they stopped coming, but because Colon started making him different charms and curse-repellants when he realized how often Toast suffers because of the supernatural. He is a little disturbed with how quickly Toast goes through them, but Toast is just relieved to have any break. At all.

Colon was incredibly excited of Toast’s cosplaying when he found out about it, and has offered to tag along with him to contests, or to dress up with him if he needs a double. They’re the closest to being the same size out of everyone on the team, so Colon can actually wear some of Toast’s older costumes if the need arises.

Colon is sometimes disappointed that he missed out on Toast being a werewolf (in cases where Toast gets cured and manages not to get it again) because the stories from Ghost and Spooker makes it sound way cuter than it actually was.

Toast and Colon are both incredibly organization-oriented, and both have different methods of keeping track of things. Sometimes they compare notes to make sure that they have everything since they tend to value different information.

I dunno if I said this anywhere else, but I’m dubbing these two as the biggest nerds on the team. They will talk fandom and understand what the other person is talking about. They compare tv shows and movies and talk about the state of the animation industry and how best to support actors. It’s fun and exciting.

He’s also really good at telling Gavin and Toast apart, but tends to doubt himself since Gavin will commit to the bit as hard as possible and he doesn’t want to make Ghost panic. Sometimes, Toast is Just that chaotic and that’s okay.

Team-Focused Fluff

Every primary member of the team can pick up and carry Ghost with relative ease. On days when Ghost is dazed or out of it for some reason, he has been picked up and carried by the nearest teammate in the chase.

Toast getting strong-armed into keeping track of the birthdays of ghosts has actually had the humanizing but unintended side affect of actually re-learning and teaching ghosts their own birthdays. They all react differently, some better some worse. Maxwell actually eased up on them. Aimee cried.

Colon has needed a surgery or two since joining the team, and absolutely everyone joined in to make sure he was as comfortable as possible. They did give him space and time to recover on his own, but they also went out of his way to make sure they had snacks he could eat and that he was always comfortable and had something to do. One time he was bored to a point that the usual methods wouldn’t fixed, so they set up a whole mystery in his room for him to solve without straining himself.

EVERYONE on the team has a story around biting someone that they were too young to remember but their parents thought were notable/hilarious. Spooker bit another kid while playing a game where everyone was an animal (~1yrs old - he was probably just teething, but his dad thought it was really funny), Ghost bit someone while he was being taken in after being found wandering in the woods (~7-8yrs old something his dads always noted as being a sign that he was a fighter— trying to spin it into a positive), Toast bit one of the servants who was taking care of him when they tried to pry as to why the usually chipper toddler was suddenly being so closed off (~4-5yrs old - his mother’s first red flag that something was happening to her children, but it would be another few years before anything was done about it), and Colon bit a doctor while dazed and waking up after a dental surgery (~7yrs - old his mother thinks it’s hilarious). They find it funny that THAT’S a distinct and notable thing they all have in common.

It’s really hard to get a babysitter for Woah. Options in the past have ranged from random teens in the paper (Woah just does whatever she wants since they can’t touch her), Maddie-Friend per Gertrude’s recommendation (overall really responsible, but usually busy with college or stalking), Spencer Acachalla to keep him from coming on missions after he forced himself onto the team (puts Woah on the coms while playing online games to make them think a six-year-old girl is destroying them… also managed to burn water), Poppy Soup per Spooker’s request (she invited friends over without realizing one of them was the ghost the team was after and got herself banned from babysitting… but was otherwise okay.), and Maxwell Acachalla (Colon was hoping it would be therapeutic. It actually kind of worked. He has no idea how to cook food.).

They have talked about starting a band, mostly as a joke. They kind of stopped talking about it when they realized they would technically be a boy band.

Everyone in the team is actually pretty okay at cooking. Spooker is the most skilled at cooking a lot of food at a time for a group of people, of course, but that’s not the only needed skill. Toast has an incredible attention to detail when picking out ingredients but struggles at measuring time, Ghost is adept at using replacements when lacking specific ingredients but doesn’t keep track of the level of nutrients he’s taking in at a time, and Colon is incredible at making a little go a long way but gets easily overwhelmed in a large kitchen. Also, Spooker most struggles at cooking for just himself, often making wayyy too many leftovers.

Casket will sometimes bore and start poking around with stuff if he can’t find anyone after finding himself in control with Ghost’s body. That’s how the team walked in on him trying and failing to sing Karaoke with Ghost’s hoodie around his neck like a cape after they left Ghost at home for a mission because he had a migraine. This was the most humanizing moment Spooker and Colon have ever had with Jimmy Casket. It was also incredibly embarrassing for Jimmy. He tried killing Toast for managing to get pictures and everything devolved into chaos, but Toast ultimately won.

Everyone tends to wear different styles outside of work than they do in work. Toast actually prefers to dress down and wear more casual, rugged, and loose-fitting clothes. Spooker likes colorful, flowing stuff with sparkles and loose bits. He has also done some bedazzling of some of PIE’s tools. Colon likes wearing a bit of an academia look or business casual and enjoys jewelry. The only exception is Ghost, nothing on the planet will get him to part from styling his entire outfit around an oversized hoodie and thick-soled combat boots. They only ever look coordinated when they’re on the clock.

They celebrate Halloween like no one’s business. They also Hate Halloween because of the spike of absurd cases— both fake and real. It’s kind of hard to tell someone they’re overreacting when there IS a chance that SOME GHOST is crazy enough to do JUST ABOUT ANYTHING just because it’s Halloween.

Thanks for asking, and I hope your week has improved as much as possible since you sent that ask <3

[xplrvibes]

As we are now in the last month of the year, it's time to do a year roundup I think? (if you are willing) Of all their channels which is just their main one and reacts I guess.

Best Sam and Colby video of the year?

Worst Sam and Colby video of the year?

Saddest/most emotional Sam and Colby video of the year?

Happiest Sam and Colby video of the year?

Funniest Sam and Colby video of the year?

And what do we all hope for, with the upcoming year? (Like what do you want to see more or less of?)

(I sent this to a couple SnC blogs cos I'm super interested to see what peoples answers are)

I LOVE this idea, anon, and am excited to see what the other blogs who answer this come up with!

Edited to add: I just realized that I completely forgot the react channel was a thing and didn't take any of that into account here, lmao sorry about that!

Best Sam and Colby video of the year:

From a statistical analytic standpoint, the best video they did this year in terms of hype, viewership, engagement, etc. was by far episode one of their Conjuring video. That video sold out movie theaters, got mainstream interest (good and bad), trended on youtube for days, and will honestly probably be the thing that wins them a Streamy next year...maybe even a Kids/Teen/People's Choice? Who knows!

But, as far as what I, personally, resident grandma of snc tumblr thought was the best? I have to give it to Chillingham, with Hell Fire Caves following closely behind. I loved everything about Chillingham - the guests were perfect, snc's vibes were great, the place was spooky, they had fun but not the kind of fun that debunkers will cancel them for lol...it was just peak, perfect snc. Hell Fire runs a close second for the same reasons, and honestly would've gotten first except for the fact that I preferred the Chillingham tour guide over the HF Cave tour guide (no offense, if you're out there somewhere, but the Chillingham guide was awesome).

Worst Sam and Colby video of the year:

Again, purely from a statistical standpoint, the Whaley House video in January seems to have performed the worst - and honestly, for good reason. It was boring, and Lexi was clearly not into doing this type of content. She seems like a lovely person, no knock on her, but when someone just does not want to be there, it does not translate well.

Also, it's important to note that this video was filmed 4 days before Colby was diagnosed with cancer, and tbh? I think the bad physical health vibes came through in this as well. He was in pain and not really in the mood to be doing this stuff, and no matter how good you are at putting on a brave face for the camera, things like that will seep through and affect the vibe.

Now, is that my least favorite, or the one I think was the worst? No. It was close, but I honestly didn't even watch all the way through of the one with Celina and Kris in the mansion, cause I found it so annoying (yes, I find them profoundly annoying at times; do not come screaming into my ask box about it) so by default, that one wins my "worst of" for the year.

Saddest/most emotional Sam and Colby video of the year:

Statistically speaking, I feel like the Conjuring Epsiode One has this one in the bag.

But, I think we all know the cancer vid was truly, deeply emotional for a lot of reasons. What they both (primarily Colby) went through with that journey over a period of six months and the way he told his story was just...emotional. Happy emotional, sad emotional, scared emotional...all the feels. And it ends in a feel good way, so that's fantastic!

Happiest Sam and Colby video of the year:

This one was hard, because honestly, I think all of their videos have an element of happiness to them, simply because these two just love being together and filming together with their friends.

That being said, I'm going to think outside the box here and say any of the podcasts they appeared on this year. That's where their giggly, happy personalities really shine through.

Funniest Sam and Colby video of the year:

Believe it or not, I found the video with Tommy and Jack to be hilarious (for probably the wrong reasons, but hilarious nonetheless). Tommy and Jack were the irreverant, disrespectful young teen jokesters and snc were the horrified, shocked and out of touch old people trying to parent these children the entire time. That made my old ass laugh a lot.

And what do we all hope for, with the upcoming year? (Like what do you want to see more or less of?):

Above all else, all I want for both of them in 2024 is good physical and mental health. They've had a roller coaster this year (especially Colby on the health front) and even though they claim to enjoy the roller coaster ride, I think it'll do them well to have one year filled with peace and maybe just a nice, leisurely ride on the lazy river instead, or something.

Video wise? I think I've said all this last year and none of it came true lol, but a girl can dream. All I want are 3 simple things:

Less streamers

More snc solo investigations

Can Colby please start leaning a little more into his intuition and "empathic" energy? Please?

Oh and a bonus #4 that I know @golbrocklovely will back me up on: please god do a whole series in Pennsylvania. We could give them a million +1 ideas of cool places to go to in PA if they would just...show up, lol.

[fumikomiyasaki]

🎨 for Ellis and Fennec!

🥚 for Fabio and Artemis (I mean, you have to include the rabbit for easter!)

🥞 for Alice and Elvira (hopefully three isn’t too much!)

Easter prompts (I have to take Fabio out sadly cause... well He is out of commision for April for a certain reason I won't specify, he will be back after april but over the month he mainly be in his room)

🎨 - our muses decorate some eggs

Somewhat he felt nostalgic as Ellis and Grim sat next to him preparing everything for painting some eggs for easter... he rather chose this place than his own dorm, given how messy some his dorm mates were compared to the calm atmosphere of the ramshackle dorm. Especially cause he knows the Ghost kids probably make much messes during this.

Instead he could now get some peace and listen to Ellis ramblings about the last time Fennec took her to one of the Polisionalles Theater plays and what she knew of the original stories... as he continued to let his brush run over the eggs.

"Say Fennec, how come you know these patterns anyways... they are on your clothing as well?"

"Its... the last memories I have of my parents and my brother... in the end I am one of the last survivors of our tribe... so I want to keep its legacy alive."

"I see... its also why you have those wings right?"

A firm not from him, part of his hand trembled thinking back to his brother... for one it was a reason why before he was annoyed being stranded in this world but since meeting Ellis it wasn't that bad of a detour... yet he still hadn't forgotten his goal... to either confirm his brothers death or find a way to save him from his stone condition... as Ellis noticed his uneasyness she put her hand on his.

"How about I find a way to make you smile instead? Whatever way you go I will support you."

"Right you said as much... you are also a reason I want to always come back in this place... even if its not my original home."

"Fennec..."

"What I can be honest too from time to time?"

He avoided his gaze with a red face as she nodded.

"Then lets get this work done and after that, how about we get distracted with watching a movie."

"Sounds fine by me."

He loved when she smile that bright... to him it truely was a beacon of hope despite being still kinda lost in this world... and even if grim made grunts of annoyances... he prefers this atmosphere much more than to his own dorm.

🥞 - our muses make and/or enjoy brunch

A bit of surprised was on the priestess face as Alice did invite her over for a brunch... of course she showed many signs of interest in the lady but hoped nobody was ever aware... she prayed that nobody would notice her interest... In somewhat of a worry she walked into this dorm... many members putting her off as she walked by them and ignored them.

Yet here she sat down on a prepared table with wine, some fancy dishes and looking up respectfully at the tall lady...

"Try some, I would be curious about your opinions."

It wouldn't be that bad to try a bit of the glass... after all the gods themself endulged in a bit of wine. And so Elvira took a small sip feeling somewhat satisfied.

"I am impressed really... you own up to your reputation but I still wonder, why invited a simple devout woman as I?"

The Vampiress got up her seat and leaned down, putting a hand on Elviras chin, getting her flustered.

"Your curious eyes are fun to see... even if it would be better you are more honest about your feelings."

A shiver went down her spine... somewhat she enjoyed the attention yet.

"It would be a sin to pursue this feeling... hence I refuse... nothing can stray me from my paths."

"Nothing you say... that sounds like a challenge to me... "

The priestess tried to face her eyes yet grew weak quickly... feeling somewhat mezmerized by how confident she looked at her... maybe the sin was more tempting than she thought yet... her head was stubborn, she quickly turned to the food and took a crumb of a bread.

"I appreciate your concern but Alice... I admit I took a liking to you yet I still can't gather my thoughts... I am torn between two sides..."

"Well I guess then I have to be a little more convincing towards you."

It really was like she was toying with her heart... but it was also like she enjoyed it a little... after the food she prayed... hoping that god wouldn't judge her too hard for her thoughts and feelings.

[inventedworld]

QR CODES at the MUSEUM

Some people prefer ball games. I get that. Huge stadiums, hot dogs, afternoons outdoors among cheering throngs: for lots of people this sounds like fun. With the exception of determining an inevitable winner and loser, going to a ballpark is entirely unlike watching a game on television.

It’s also entirely unlike visiting a museum except for one thing. Trips to a ball park and trips to a museum require visitors to be physically present. In the same way as watching a game on television, seeing a painting on a screen is a wholly different experience from seeing it in real life.

That’s why one particular, rapidly proliferating trend in museum curation causes me to shout at the umpire. In the past few years, and especially following cultural trends that accelerated after the pandemic, museums have turned to QR codes to augment visitor experiences.

Sweetheart, hold my calls. 

It’s not that I don’t understand the efficiency of QR codes. With QRs, museum staff  can effectively deliver infinite informational resources on demand, at a cost that’s far less to deploy than carefully prepared signage or staff on hand. The problem is that museum guests often find themselves face down in their glowing glass screens rather than being present in the presence of the actual art in the first place. They may come to a gallery, but by having to interact with their phones they might as well be anywhere, or nowhere. It’s bad enough that people feel compelled to upload endless social media posts while in a gallery. With QRs integrated into visitor experiences, people now swipe and scroll just to learn basic information about the artists and the work. Then, inevitably, they check their social media to see if anyone has interacted with their own posts from five minutes ago. And then they see a funny meme and feel compelled to comment. And they get an alert from their group chat and can’t pass up a quick emoji reply. And then, oh wait! They forgot to add a couple of things to their to-do list, so they take care of that too. And, hey, who is this painter dude anyway? “I forgot, but can just Google it later…��� 

The point of being in an art gallery is to experience art in a place that’s outside normal life and ordinary living spaces. Galleries focus attention in much the same way that movie theaters focus attention on a movie, which is theoretically differently than watching one from your couch. (Don’t get me started…)  Going to a museum is a social experience, even as it can also be also a personal, even intimate experience. Reading descriptions on gallery walls helps keep visitors present in the physical space of the work, rather than shifting attention back to the bottomless void of our wireless devices. 

I’m sensitive to the economic realities pressing hard against museums. I also fully appreciate the lure of enabling interactivity whenever possible, plus the contemporary desire to feel like we have a smidge of personal agency to steer the path of our days. But in enabling visitors an easy means for having one foot outside exhibits, curators erode their biggest reason for existing in the first place, namely as a destination for people to experience ideas in the real world that they simply can’t get the same way in virtual spaces.

Perhaps that’s one of the key reasons I like spending time with artists, too. No matter the format or activity, artists always know the strength of a creative moment comes from bring fully present in the real world. That’s why QR codes annoy me when I encounter them at a museum. I’d rather be fully present in the space of the work itself, rather than in dialogue with an electronic intermediary who’s content creators are far more interested in holding my attention on their screens.

@michaelstarobin

facebook.com/1auglobalmedia

[cyntheshepicone]

This honestly I enjoy horror in the way of like scary games ranging from not so scary like the newer FNAF games which honestly I'm to busy looking at the pretty colors and neat things I can find by playing the game to be scared to more psychological horror like omori with its dark secrets you get led to throughout the game until it culminates in something really dark. Those are the ones I actually play. I like *watching* people play the ones I'm to scared to play myself like some ghost ones or stuff like simulacra and chillas art games cause it seems so cool but I'd end up having a panic attack if I played it by myself lol. I like creepy stuff that maybe has a bit of blood for the reason that horror does now and then and I'm not a fan of slashers cause character death annoys me when everyone kinda almost dies at the end or you know someone's gonna die so I automatically detach myself from it idk why I do I just do plus not a fan of most bodily fluids in general let alone blood. I have my preference and others have theirs there isn't anything wrong with you for enjoying slashers that have a lot of blood and gore and stuff so long as you y'know aren't out there trying to recreate it in real life it's horror and on the case of slasher films specifically it's about death and blood worked into the story like the others said it's SUPPOSED to be fucked up that's part of the experience. That being said an exception to the whole character death thing in my brain is that I greatly enjoyed the remaster of it and it 2 to the point I saw the second one in theaters though there were some rather uncomfy parts due to the time period it was set in honestly good for them for being honest about that I'm still sad the one guy dies though

I can't believe that we have to say this but horror genre is supposed to be fucked up, grotesque, disgusting and deeply unsettling. It is supposed to make you feel deeply uncomfortable and unsafe. And the point of it is that you reach catharsis through the negative emotions it makes you feel. It can also has funny, absurd or tragic elements but the heart of this genre is terror and disgust. it is called fucking HORROR and it is 100% understandable that you don't like horror genre but saying shit like "if you enjoy Saw you are abnormal" is just funny. Maybe YOU are the one who dislikes horror. Have you ever thought of that

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

By p5 you mean in terms of plot and themes or in terms of salt? (Go off either way I'm always down to hear riffing on Wish)

It's the plot/themes tbh. In terms of salt...... I didn't mind the film but it def gave "undercook chicken vibes" TT0TT (I could probs bitch about Raya more, but I guess I can muster up some grievances with this film klasjfdlkj;af but before that P5). (edit of me from the future after getting to the end of this ask: while writing this I went from "eh" on Wish, to "I hold this new hc rewrite very dear to me for some reason" I dunno if y'all wanna hear a outline rewrite of Wish but I'd be down for it kasfdjklf):

Before the bitching about Wish's issues, let's address the P5 (well more P5R/P5S with the whole stealing OTHER people's wishes-I mean desires, and then also granting said wishes) parallels first. So I DID NOT know it was going to be.....technically a heist film (without the fun heist tropes ;w; and technically also only for a small duration ;w;) Suddenly it was "You can't take people's desires-I mean wishes", and "I'll take them back! They don't belong to you!" and the villain crushing the desire-I mean wish harms the original person (as well as it being taken seems to affect them too??? Or was that just Sleep-I mean Simon? Or was there even a connection? It's not really explored well! :'D) And then the team uses a star to take down a wish granting god, AND the masses of the people take down the controlling god as well-....you have a rag tag team of people to help rebel against the authority, as well as someone from that same group who betrays them and is controlled by the godly being ("controlled" in Goro's case, Wish did a better job exploring that than P5 imo >_> by that I mean literal bare minimum) and also has a knight motif (I think black mask, along with Mako's outfit, have a knight motif)

There's a lot of similarities. aklfjdlksajf I was NOT expecting it.

Ok now for just.......salt. Diet salt? Frustrations but w/o the hate? *shrugs*

So the pacing was a thing. I was wondering how they'd get from one point to the next, and then realized they were just gonna barrel and quirk their way through. TT0TT

I REALLY hated Asha's character when she was *~quirky~*. That only worked for Tangled/Frozen, `1) it wasn't overplayed (Tangled literally started it, so by Frozen it was like 2 instances by this point only), 2) It made sense for those chars (locked away during a critical part of their life, yeah no wonder they weren't well adjusted), 3) they looked similar and the cameo just kinda fueled the theory they are (distant) cousins (aka so maybe hereditary personality trait).

Everyone else has been......not original and it's just......boring/annoying. (Raya I think was the closest we got away from it, but she's kinda just a Korra clone, cool but with dorky moments.......sigh I'll take it).

I physically cringed in the theater during her interview bc of the dorkiness. TT0TT I cringed so much that....I think I might've missed the reason why the king even bothered to show Asha the wishes???? He trusted her? She interested him??? That's the vibe I got but like.....WHY?????? (again was cringing and she was like 'oh I'm bombing" and he's like "no you have my attention" and I'm like "oh this dialogue is so bad TT0TT Get me outttttt!!!!") Before moving onto the next point, when she's not *~quirky~* she's......there. Fine. I prefer her at her basic just don't give me her worst, I can't handle her at her worst. TT0TT

This whole thing could've/would've/should've been avoided if the King didn't let her see the wishes! Or explain in detail! Like you're smarter than this aren't you my dude? This seems like something you keep hidden only for the MC to find out later and THAT causes a big stir. Not "let's show the MC I'm sure nothing wrong will surely come from it!" Like????? I need a better reasoning!!!

Now the actual act of the villain. Not saying what he was doing was right or good. The guy is a dick, a narcissistic dick. But.......everyone seemed relatively happy? TT0TT Like not even in a mind control way. And he wasn't doing anything bad to the wishes (not doing a lot in general but at least he wasn't hurting them??????). Like I know it's technically using it as a means to keep people there (dangling a carrot in front of their face, manipulation) but....I just feel like we aren't given enough information and they spend so much time on people being so chill it's like???? Is it really an issue??? TT0TT Like we have the dialogue about Simon losing his spark or some BS but like.....no one else seems to have the same issue TT0TT

I dunno, his whole "using it for control" and lack of doing anything evil with them to begin with is kinda.........not well developed. :') Like on the surface, yeah he's bad, but digging deeper ...well it's just not that deep. All the shit he does afterwards is bc Asha challenged him and accidentally wished a star down. (tldr; his "control" on everyone doesn't really feel well defined)

Basically, if they were doing a grey->evil pipeline, they didn't do a good job. Either he needed more fleshing out, or just start him off as pretty not great and then going full blown sorcerer at the end.

While I'm still on the king, I was REALLY BOTHERED by how much they kept leaning into his sad backstory. Once? Ok. But like they ref it like 2-4 times so I'm like "????? Did HE cause the tragedy???? WHAT was the tragedy????" Like I kept expecting more of a twist with it (like the king was actually the reason for it) and for them to go into detail but no it's just dropped. TT0TT ????? Was it really just there to make him grey/justified in his actions??? Well it'd help if I KNEW MORE OF WHAT HAPPENED!

I also kept expecting more from Asha's dad. Like they kept bringing up that mfers back on that gd tree but...nope nothing!

Ok moving onto songs. Wow only 6 songs? I'm surprised. Tho one felt like it went on for WAY too long.

"I'm a star" was a song....that when it showed up I was like "Oh geez.....why???" It just brought the pacing to a halt. TT0TT I don't want to hear people bitch about Fixer Upper ever again, at least that progressed SOMETHING. (both are still better from A Guy Like You from the looks of it......and F1's "In Summer" but not cause In Summer was bad, but because the point could've been summed up in a line or three/was summed up already.......those mfers almost cut Do you want to build a snowman but were gonna keep THAT??? I would've rioted fsakljdlkfja TT0TT....oh right Fixer upper vs I'm a star)

Ok ok, so both have something that's important to the plot. Ngl I was wondering what IAS was doing until.....the climax where I was like "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ok, ok I....alright." (aka where everyone uses "the star power within them to defeat the evil). So the meaning behind it I don't mind, it's the.....execution.

So with Fixer Upper, it's a similar thing. FU (haha) contains something important to the plot that'll help the heroes out later (or explain a key part of the story). FU is basically stating/reminding the audience (and Anna) "Elsa is scared and stressed, but if you keep showing your Love to her, Anna, you'll break through to her. Love brings out the best in people!" It's the point of F1. It's the point of The Snow Queen. It's what's been going on this entire film. It also helps develop Anna/Kristoff as well. Because of this it doesn't derail the plot.

I know it DOES feel similar to A Guy Like you, where they put some comedy right in between more serious moments. The difference is Paris is on literal fire, and Anna....due to dramatic irony, isn't aware of shit hitting the fan just yet (or that she's about to die). So she's in a position of just one last moment of brevity unlike Hunchback (from what I remember of Hunchback, gotta rewatch tbh but I know people HATE A guy like you so TT0TT)

Now FU is towards the end of the film and.....F1 is paced fairly well imo. Stuff's happening, nothing feels wasted. Back to Wish.....I'm a Star....doesn't. It has answers for later, but it felt like it brought the pacing to a screeching halt to give me a weird and very eh version of Be Our Guest.

I know in musicals "when talking isn't enough, you sing. When singing isn't enough, you dance."

I do not get the....well...NEED for the scene to be like this. Just talking could've done it justice, and esp saved time (a handful of seconds vs minutes TT0TT)

Like for the climax a scene with THIS SONG needed to happen. But how it comes about is just......it's not it. It's not paced well. Be Our Guest works because Belle knew ALL these chars for a bit. FU worked because the AUDIENCE still recognized these chars from the beginning (and at least KRISTOFF knew who they were). I'm a Star is mostly with random animals and plants that just....happens. TT0TT "Just go with it" no I don't think I want to little rabbit (I feel like a plant/animal said that line but I don't remember which, maybe it was Bambi)

I dunno the set up isn't....great. Wait, it's really just "I have a dream" but.......shittier, like not as well executed. But I have a dream doesn't come outta nowhere, it's set up by Flynn and then executed. The Star just sprinkles some magic dust and it's like "well I guess this is happening."

Tldr; I'm a star isn't well executed even tho it's important to the plot. It needs to be paced better.

Ok other songs (tbh I was eh on the songs but I'm not really liking At all Costs and This Wish).....Welcome to Rosas reminded me a LOT of Encanto's opening and dancing (only thing I was positive towards that movie on). But that dancing is....never brought back? Ok. The framing of the intro song is similar. Exposition through song is ok. (I didn't like F2's Some thing never change but it does catch us up). It's fine.

This is the thanks I get: I liked it when I heard it. Kinda laughable, because of how evil he just....turned into. The king is a real let down ngl, but I already kinda went into my issues with him earlier. I think it's nice he doesn't make them pay rent like wtf let me live there. u_u

At all costs. I........really like this song ngl. It sounds like a love song. The demo even more so (to the point people wondered if it was originally for the King/Queen and/or Asha/Star). Part of me likes the K/Q and Asha/Star duality, but I also........really just like the twisted-ness of King/Asha just singing their own mindset. I dunno I find the idea hauntingly beautiful and is a better villain song for King. Why couldn't King be more evil earlier? It would've been SOOOO GOOD HERE! TT0TT

This Wish: I like it. Was looking forward to this song ngl. Not my most fav song in the world or disney verse, but I like it. I also like the reprise version, they stuck the landing the best they could with that imo. (it's only held back by the other issues of the film). I think I read on TV tropes this song was written first and then a plot made around it? TT0TT I dunno.

The Revolution song I literally forgot of: Probs the most forgettable, like ok sure whatever. At least it wasn't cringy like I'm a star but 8U

Also I JUST found out (after typing most of this) that apparently the song writers were......mostly known for pop songs????? And not musical theater???? Which...ok that makes sense with the whole "when talking isn't enough, you sing. When singing isn't enough, you dance" combined with the thing I read on TV tropes and This Wish..... There wasn't a lot of synergy with how/why some of those song scenes are happening. TT0TT

I mean I'm a basic bitch who likes pop songs don't get me wrong, I'm over here vibbing to This Wish (OG and Reprise) and At All Costs. But Disney did not let those two live up to their full potential ;w; And I believe it's because they......forgot it was a musical and to do more musical theater choices. TT0TT

Thoughts on characters. I don't care for the grandpa/mom ngl. I don't hate them but I don't care. Not a fan of Asha's dad, just.....such a nothing char. Her 7 friends are ok (too many perhaps, put some on the chopping block jalkfdjska). I wish the goat didn't speak (or just sounded cute), or if he did speak in that voice he didn't appear in ALMOST EVERY SCENE (I think Asha/Star duo would've been best). Queen ok, should've been evil. King is ok, should've put him in the over longer tho (and made him more evil from the start).

What could've been: Queen was also suppose to be evil (she should've). Star was gonna be a tumblr Jack Frost esque twink. Disney dropped the ball on that u_u Did he HAVE to exist? Depends on the story (twink or cute star creature, either work it just depends on what the focus is and how you go about it). But the Queen should've been evil.

Oh my thoughts on the meta ending........I.....don't.....it .....didn't make sense? I know people are saying 'oh Disney's just saying it's references! They're backtracking on the extended universe!" and.....like it feels more like references tbh. Like Peter Pan, the guy iirc was an adult (wait of course he has to be an adult, you give your wish away at 18!), he wants to make a plane with the lady. He just looks like Peter Pan. I don't think they are the same Peter. Same with Bambi, OG Bambi isn't a surfer stoner. I think it's just a reference. I think the movie is just too full of references.

"Asha changes race and becomes the fairy god mother to Cindy!" I..dunno.....maybe? She said she'd be ROSAS' fairy god mother....I don't think Cindy takes place anywhere near that. No seaside from that movie iirc. (I mean she can travel but......I dunno)

The only thing I'd buy is Star maybe connecting with Pinocchio or something from across the milkyway. And the sky is the cinematic universe, because I just....can't buy the other refs being part of something greater. So if it's just the sky part.....then 1) it's kinda just pointless tbh cause it doesn't really matter. 2) they wanna be Kingdom Hearts so bad TT0TT I hope KH4 has Wish in it, I'd love to see how that mess will roll. (they can't make it any worse :'D it can only go up from here....esp compared to KH3's Frozen world *sobs* I'll never forgive you KH3 *sobs harder* A game about hearts......and a plot device of a FROZEN HEART YOU COULD'VE EXPANDED YOUR LORE! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *ugly cries* *coughs* I can see them doing something with your "inner star" and KH hearts tbh >_>)

Anyway I do think it's more references than cinematic universe.

[fanmoose12]

a little something for @bruciesnat :) i know i've promised it like a lifetime ago, sorry for the delay! oh, and i decided to combine it with a prompt i also received a long while ago <3

Mike doesn't know why he's doing this. Doesn't understand how he agreed to it, can't comprehend why Erwin would make him do it. Mike doesn't know what he had done to deserve this- this punishment.

He's- he's a good man. An honest one. He serves to ensure the future of humanity, he risks his life to give others a better one.

He's good at it too, he's excellent at fighting and slashing and scouting. He was the best one at it, before- before the annoying midget came.

The same annoying midget, who is insanely strong and easily irritated. The same annoying midget, who has a crush on their adorable Hange. Hange, who Mike has to seduce to test Erwin's theory that Levi, insanely strong, easily irritated Levi, truly has a crush on their Hange.

Mike swallows heavily as he sits next to Hange, just a little too close as Erwin instructed. He smells that it won't end well.

He cringes, as he puts his arm around her shoulders.

Mike likes Hange, a lot actually. Sometimes he feels like they're siblings that were torn apart by some bigger entity. So yeah, he likes Hange. But definitely not like that.

But, oh well, anything for the cause, right?

"Hey, Hans," he murmurs, adopting his most seducting tone. He hopes that his smile is charming enough to captivate their dear scientist. "Are you free tonight? I have two tickets to the theater perfomance," he leans in closer, lowering his voice to what could probably (Mike is an eternal optimist!) be called an enticing whisper. "They're showing the creation of the the Walls tonight."

Somewhere on his periphery, Mike can see a swift dark shadow that oozes the smell of detergent. That shadow, it grows closer, its aura becoming more menacing.

Mike can only hope that if Levi attempts to kill him, Erwin would intervene.

Although... knowing Erwin, he'd just write Mike's death off as a necessary sacrifice.

He takes his hand off Hange. The shadow retreats a few steps back.

"Sorry, Mike," Hange shrugs with a small, apologizing smile. "I showed that play to Levi a few weeks ago. I had my fill of religious propaganda for now. But if you're looking for someone to accompany you," she winks and turns around. Mike's heart sinks. "Levi really liked going to the theatre! He'll be happy to tag along, right, Levi?"

Mike meets Levi's eyes, and sees nothing but desire for murder inside.

Mike quickly scrambles to his feet. "You know, I'll just ask Gelgar to go with me. I'm sure he doesn't have anything better to do."

And they can get wasted afterwards. Mike really needs that after this conversation.

Just as he retreats, Levi takes his place, sitting down next to Hange, also just a little too close.

The mission had failed spectacularly, but, Mike consoles himself, at least he learned that Hange and Levi went to theatre together. And sometimes intel is more important than the victory, right?

Ah, if only Erwin would share his opinion on that.

***

Erwin's second attempt is even worse than the first one, but, at least, this time it doesn't directly involve Mike. Still, he's an unwilling spectator to it, and, just as the last time, he doesn't like where all of this is going.

He already feels bad for the poor guy Erwin hired to hit on Hange during the annual military ball. Where did Erwin get the money - did he take them from the Corps' funds or his own allowance, Mike doesn't know, and, frankly, he isn't sure which option is more disturbing.

At least, the actor is handsome, Mike doesn't know if Hange would like him, he doesn't know if she has a type, and if she does, he hopes it's not annoying midgets, but the guy is handsome, there is no denying that.

Hange has cleaned up fairly well too, the white suit looks excellent on her, bringing out all of her best assets, demonstrating her wide hips and lean, long legs. The hair, gathered in a neat bun, shows her long, gorgeous neck, and the light make-up make her even more gorgeous than usual.

When she and Erwin walked through the front door - him in his blue suit and Hange in her white, symbolising their Wings of Freedom, everyone had their breath taken away.

Even Mike was a little shocked to see Hange dressed up like this, and Levi, who stood right next to him, was completely blown away, staring at Hange with wide-eyed, lovestruck look.

Thanks to Levi's ridiculous expression, Mike now understands why Erwin goes to such length to bring their resident weirdos together. It is delightful to watch Levi behave like that, and Mike longs to see more of this side of him.

Soon after Hange and Erwin make their grand entrance, their guy makes the first move.

He approaches Hange, his eyes bright and smile so charming it makes Mike envious that Hange is at the receiving end of it. He kisses her hand, whispers something in her ear.

"He praises her recent experiment. I thought it was a good place to start," Erwin explains quietly to him.

"Ah," Mike nods. So Erwin thought every detail through? Not surprising at all. "Think this would have an effect on Levi?"

"It already does," Erwin says, pointing to a furious cloud of black hair and suit that is approaching them at a rapid speed.

"Has four-eyes lost all shame?" Levi practically growls, his eyes throwing flames. "Is she seriously flirting with a fucker from the MP?"

"He's not a soldier," Mike answers, reciting a legend Erwin created. "He's actually a wealthy merchant from the South. Heard he sells apples to the King himself."

"And since when Hange is interested in someone like him," Levi crosses hands on his chest, his glare turning even darker, as Erwin's actor takes Hange by the hand and leads her to the dance floor.

"You know, you can ask Hange to a dance," Erwin advices with a pleased smile. "Then she won't be able to flirt with others."

Levi scoffs. "I would rather fight a horde of titans than dance with stinky four-eyes."

Maria, Rose and Sina, Mike thinks. They're worse than children.

"Hange has taken a bath before coming here," he tells Levi.

Levi rolls his eyes. "And now she looks even more awful than usual."

Mike shares a look with Erwin. Does Levi prefer usual Hange, when she doesn't bath for days and her eyes water from the lack of sleep? It almost sounds cute.

"This is the last time I'm attending this shitty ball," Levi swears to Erwin. "Even wine here is shitty."

He marches away immediately after that, heading to the table with wine. Mike can barely stop his laughter, as he watches Levi take a glass of wine, drink a few large gulps of it, and then wince, his mouth moving as he probably murmurs violent curses. He doesn't take his eyes off Hange and her dance partner, and relaxes only when the song ends.

Both Mike and Erwin watch intently as the actor kisses Hange's hand once again. Hange blushes, and Mike almost coos. Levi grabs another glass of wine.

When the actor starts leading Hange away, in the direction of the balcony, Levi starts moving too. He intercepts them just at the edge of the ballroom.

Mike knows he should have expected something like that, knows that Levi doesn't exactly possess the best of manners, but pouring wine over someone? Over his own colleague and friend? Mike certainly didn't expect that.

He's delighted to see what happens next, though.

What happens is that Hange's gorgeous white suit is ruined and Levi wraps his hand around her wrist and drags her to the bathroom. He sports a unusually pleased expression and Hange is laughing herself silly.

Not a bad ending to this endeavor, Mike thinks.

"Another disaster," Erwin sighs.

***

Third time is a charm, or so Mike hopes.

This time Erwin decides to take matter in his hands, and that another sign that this plan will succeed.

The plan is simple, yet, hopefully, effective. Erwin is to whisk Hange away to some remote location, create a scene that would look like a moment between lovers, and Mike is to call Levi there and make sure he witnesses it all.

Erwin is a brave man, Mike thinks, as his Commander explains the plan to him. He would never dare to do something like that to humanity's strongest. To awaken his jealous streak... Mike is glad he's not in Erwin's place.

One sunny afternoon, the plan is set in motion. Erwin takes Hange, and Mike goes to find Levi.

He finds him fairly quickly, in the middle of cleaning Hange's room. Man, he could at least try to make his crush be less discreet. But that's beside the point now, because Levi is cleaning Hange's room and not watching Erwin and Hange. Mike confidently strides up to him.

"Levi! I've just been looking for you."

"What do you need?" he asks boringly. "And have you seen four-eyes? I can't find her all day."

Erwin prepared some legend, a reason why Mike needs Levi, but in the heat of the moment, Mike can't remember a single word. So he just yells "Come with me!" and hope that Levi follows.

Thankfully, he does.

Mike leads him to the stables, where Erwin is already at it. His palm is on the wall, next to Hange's head, and from Mike's point of view, it certainly looks like they're in the middle of... something naughty.

Next to him, Levi tenses, and Mike can practically hear his teeth grinding.

Mike prepares for something very ugly, but then...

"I- I didn't know that Erwin and four-eyes-" oh, fuck, it sounds like Levi is genuinely sad, like he's heartbroken or something. Mike feels a strange desire to hug the little guy and pat his head. But then he remembers that he and Erwin are the reason for Levi's distress right now, and... remorse starts kicking in.

"Levi, listen, it's not-"

"Levi!"

As always, Hange is the one to save the day.

She breaks free from Erwin and sprints to Levi, a wide smile on her face. "You won't believe what Erwin had just told me! He gave me permission to go in the town's library and bring back all the books I want! I'm in dire need of your muscles, humanity's strongest, you'll go with me, right?"

Levi still seems grouchy, but under Hange's sunny grin, his angry facade crumbles. "I don't know if Commander will allow it..."

He doesn't even try to hide his bitterness and irration. Mike disguises his chuckle as a coughing fit.

"Erwin!" Hange turns to him, eyes pleading. "Can Levi go with me?"

"Sure," Erwin nods. "Take all the time you need."

Hange yells in triumph, loud enough to make Mike wince. She grabs Levi by the hand and drags him away. Erwin watches them with a wistful smile.

"I don't think we should get involved in their relationships," Mike says, as he approaches Erwin. He stands close to his Commander, their shoulders pressing against each other. "We should let them figure it out themselves."

"Agreed," Erwin says. "I'm sure they'll manage well enough even without us."

Mike watches Hange wrap her arm around Levi, and is inclined to agree. They will certainly manage without them both.

Or, at least, Hange is able to manage.

And that should be enough.

[letsperaltiago]

somewhere only we know

This is my entry for the B99 Summer 2021 Fic Exchange and it's for lovely Johanna aka. @amyscascadingtabs <3 I picked the prompt: "Jake and Amy going on a babymoon and enjoying some time together before everything changes for good."

It's very simple and just pure good, happy parents to be-vibes so yeah :) I initially wanted to add smut but didn't have the time to write it :(( If you feel like it's something you'd like, then feel free to lemme know! I can always add a chapter two heh. Anyways, enjoy!!

Rating: G

Words: 2.7k

Read here or on Ao3

“Jake, this is… amazing.”

This seems to be all Amy can come up with as the hotel room presents itself before her. Better or bigger words seem to be lacking from her otherwise excellent vocabulary but she blames it on the fact that she’s been carrying a tiny human for the past 35 weeks - not that she’s complaining. It’s been hard, both physically and mentally, and there are a few more weeks to go but by the end of it all, she’ll be holding her little baby boy. 

She’s tired and every inch of her body swollen and/or sore, but more importantly she’s eager and excited. Jake is too, if not even more than her, and this has resulted in the current scene: their babymoon. 

“You like it?” 

The way Jake asks her, eyes shining with innocent expectation and voice laced with childish excitement has her imagining just how their little boy will turn out to be. She can’t hold back her smile. This man will walk to the end of the earth to make her happy, essentially already has during this pregnancy, and the babymoon is just as much for him as it is for her. 

She turns on her heels to face him, showing him the bright smile that’s plastered on her makeup-free face which has gained some freckles during her pregnancy. 

“You could’ve planned a trip to a dumpster and I would still love it.”

Hands cupping his scruffy cheeks she pulls him in for a short but tender kiss that even so many years later, after thousands of kisses, has his toes curl in excitement. She truly would’ve stayed anywhere as long as Jake was with her. Although she does appreciate the fact that she’s standing in a beautiful lakeview suite at the LakeHouse Inn. 

“Should we reassess how much we refer to dumpsters and other gross locations when we declare our love for each other?” 

She chuckles at his comment, lips resonating against the corner of his grin. 

“Should we?” She slowly slides her hands to the back of her neck, entangling her fingers to keep her latched onto him even as she pulls away to flash him a pretend contemplative expression.  

Eyebrows cocked in playfulness, they share an indicative look in silence, only for them to break it in unison. “Nahh.”

“Right? It’s what makes us us.” Jake pulls her in by the hips which are carrying their son. 

Everything about Amy reminds him of their little miracle and makes him feel all tingly and excited. One look at her, one touch, and he forgets about the rest of the world and its crappiness. He has Amy and together with the tiny human in her belly, she is his entire universe. 

“Exactly.”

She closes the gap between them (as much as she can with the full-blown balloon shape of her stomach). 

“So,” she mumbles against his lips, “what are your plans for us?” 

Sadly, the 3-hour drive from home didn’t do wonders for her heavily pregnant body and even though she won’t admit it out loud, she hopes her husband’s plans for tonight will demand the bare minimum of her. She feels his lips and body withdraw, prompting her eyes open however the mischievous smile that meets her has a dimmed anxious feeling creeping over her - he does remember she’s 35 weeks pregnant, right? 

“I know that look, Peralta.” Her voice is distrustful, and after 7 years together she should know better than giving in to his teasing, but her suspicious air only fuels his fire and desire to mess with her. 

“In honor of my incredible and always so organized wife, there’s a tightknit schedule waiting for us.”

Tightknit schedule? Amy would usually be beaming at these words but right then and there, swollen legs, hungry and feeling everything but hot and fit after the drive, she aches to fall back onto the bed and sleep for days. It’s huge, king-sized, with crispy white sheets and the fluffy pillows are definitely calling her name. Although, the fact that Jake has everything planned out for their last vacation together, just the two of them, does pull on some heartstrings. He loves her so much and she loves him so much too. So much that she (almost) doesn’t turn a hair when he proudly starts listing their schedule for the evening and following day. 

“So right now it’s 4 PM which means unpacking-time. At 6 we have a dinner reservation at this cute little restaurant in a little town nearby so we’ll need to leave at approximately 5.45. At 8 there’s a showing of Die Hard at the local movie theater, which I thought we could attend?”

Okay, maybe her left eye flinches at this but very discreetly (or so she chooses to believe). 

“Then tomorrow there’s breakfast at 7, which is perfect because we have canoeing on the lake at 8.30...” 

She zones out after this. Hormones, tiredness, the fact that she can’t feel her feet- there are a thousand reasons but Amy can feel the most is tears prickling, threatening to spill. Not because she doesn’t appreciate her husband’s efforts and grand gestures, all for her, but because she can’t stand the thought of doing any of these sweet things he’s planned for them. She can’t cry though. He’s going to think something is actually wrong.

“Babe?”

However far gone she was, the sound of Jake’s voice pulls her back in and there’s a confusing mixture of mischief and pure adoration shining from these famous deep brown eyes. Why is he almost smiling when she’s having a tiny meltdown?

“Are you crying?”

“No?” she scoffs although she’s proven wrong upon touching her cheek where her fingers are met by a thin wet streak. “I’m just,” she clears her throat in hopes of avoiding a strained voice, “so overwhelmed by happiness and everything you’ve planned for us. It all sounds… great.”

Silence dawns upon them as Amy’s fake smile tries to convince him. On his part, Jake is biting his lip in an attempt to hold back a laugh, but his wife’s panicked look and teary eyes have him failing to last and after a couple of seconds he breaks the quietness. 

“Honey, I’m messing with you,” he chuckles and quickly pulls her back in for a tight hug, as tight as the belly allows, pecking the top of her head. “I know you love a good schedule but the only plans I have for us are: staying in bed, ordering room service, and watching tv.”

“Oh, thank God.”

The moan of relief flies out of her before she can even consider how it must sound to Jake, a great deal of embarrassment hitting her upon realization. She just made it sound like she wouldn’t appreciate her husband’s effort to make this weekend of theirs the best. 

“Jake, I’m so sorry! I didn’t-”

She pulls back to look him in the eyes, ready to offer a sincere apology for her blunt exclamation. She never gets to. Instead, she’s met with a huge grin and her husband looking everything but mad or hurt. Almost as if he knew. He knew how she’d react. He wanted her to react.

“You sly sneak! You knew you’d freak me out!” 

Only her husband can trick her like this, and, on one hand, it’s very endearing... Jake Peralta is more than just a good cop; he’s excellent. Brilliant and bold, maybe even too much sometimes, although he usually gets away with it. Usually, she’s always on his heels and she hates to admit it, but her mommy brain and restless hormones are making it much harder, if not impossible, to keep up with his always upbeat pace. 

“Of course I knew, babe.”

No matter how hard she tries, she can’t even find it within herself to be genuinely annoyed with him. He’s pulled her back into his arms and is looking at her with that mischievous smile that can both infuriate and enchant her. Tonight it’s a little bit of both although mostly the latter, she has to admit and the last bit of annoyance melts away the second he leans in, offering her a soft kiss that lets reminds her of the fact that he’s the best thing in the whole damn world. 

“I love you,” she manages to mumble against his lips before he can pull too far back, her swollen fingers cradling his jaw to emphasize her words. It tampers with any kind of reasoning and her ability to remain miffed. 

“I love you too...” her husband mumbles back against her lips. 

Pulling away isn’t an option, he’s too addicted and he enjoys feeling the air coming from her nose when she chuckles. “How much?”

“At the very least enough to not make my heavily pregnant wife canoe around a lake.” 

“Peanut and I appreciate that very much.”

Although after all these months there’s a comfort and familiarity in being able to rub her belly and know her son is in there, safe and sound, knowing he soon enough will be out here in the real world with them has butterflies fluttering in her chest. Jake’s hand joining hers in stroking her belly only causes the number of butterflies to multiply, explode all over again, and her hormones are making her question whether she wants to cry or laugh - or perhaps do both. After such a long wait, from the second they decided to start trying, there’s no blaming her impatience. There’s so much to expect and patience has never been her strongest asset. Only when it comes to Jake and their son. She’s impatient to see, hear and feel it all. The life and adventure she’s created with the man she loves the most seems scarily close yet torturously far away. 

With no reason to leave in sight, Amy finds herself bundled up in a hotel bed sent from heaven, wearing nothing but panties and her favorite nursing bra. Jake is on an errand run to grab her the creme cheese-filled pierogis and Arroz con Leche their son and she are very much craving. Although she does prefer her abuela’s homemade version of the latter, even a pregnant Amy can come to terms with the fact that there are limits to Jake’s super husband-powers. He can and will get her almost anything as long as physically possible - or within a radius of 20 miles which Abuela Dolores at this given time for good reasons isn’t. 

Amy had insisted on the hotel’s room service menu being more than fine, but her husband knows her all too well and could tell she wasn’t content with the ravioli and créme brulée she’d originally settled for. Before she could even begin to protest his offer to run out and get it for her, her husband had pulled on a pair of jogging pants and a hoodie, grabbed his keys, and left her behind with a peck to the top of her head and a promise to be back in not too long. 

In all honesty, the ravioli and creme brulée would’ve been fine, and she would’ve preferred Jake to be here to cuddle her. Nonetheless, there’s no denying how loved and important Jake makes her feel. Especially when he suddenly walks in the door, multiple plastic bags hanging on his arms and car keys dangling from his mouth. The view is hilarious, to say the very least, and she wonders: how did she ever get so very lucky? 

Perhaps she will never know the answer to this. Luckily when you’re cuddled up in a soft hotel bed eating pierogis, fries, grapes, and Arroz con Leche with the love of your life, it doesn’t really matter how you got there. Being too busy talking, eating, and making out, the documentary about the history of paper Amy’s been dying to watch is mostly just background noise. 

“Can you believe we’re having a baby?”

Her husband’s mouth is filled with fries and before she can even think of answering his question, she has to reach over to wipe ketchup from the corner of his mouth. 

“Yes… but also no. In a good way.”

It’s true. She always knew she wanted kids but wanting is one thing; actually outliving it still seems surreal to her, even as she runs her hands around the curve of the skin encapsulating their very own little human being. What makes it so much more surreal is the fact that Jake Peralta is the father. Jake Peralta, the guy who she 6 years ago could only pine for. Now she’s lying in bed with him, watching him smile at her with those soft, brown eyes and warm rosy lips that she not so secretly hopes their son will inherit. He swiftly wipes oil and salt off his fingers before reaching over to place his hands on top of her belly. Placing hers on top of his happens like a newfound reflex of hers. His hand is warm and feels like home.

“This is probably the last getaway we’ll have, yanno, just the two of us.”  

His soft voice has her looking up from their joined hands on her belly to see him looking directly at her with glistening eyes, the blue light from the television casting a blue hue on the side of his head. He looks so handsome, pensive, so perfect and she can’t come to terms with the fact that he’s her’s and she his, and together they’ve created new life.

“Yeah. More likely than not.” 

“How do you feel about that? Are you scared? You know- of giving birth and how life will be after that?”

A few beats of silence go by, only the dull sound of the tv filling the otherwise silent room. His hand never slips out of from beneath hers. Does this question maybe reflect some worries of his? 

“Not scared, per se...”

She quickly makes sure that there’s no food in-between them before scooting in closer to him. Her hand slips off of his only to slide up his arm, all the way up to cup his face. There’s close to no room between them. Her thumb dances across his cheekbone. 

“... Excited, maybe a bit anxious, but I know it’ll be alright and so very worth it in the end. And yeah, our life nd dynamic might have to change a bit but it’ll always be us. But I’m not scared,” This seems to put a damper on his running mind. “And you know why?”

“Hm?”

“Because I have the world’s best baby daddy.”

As hoped a wide smile lights up his face, pure unadulterated joy so obviously present in this little moment of theirs. Worries seem irrelevant and non-existing. 

“Are you worried, babe?” 

She sees his smile fade a bit but not enough to genuinely worry her. Just like everyone, he has his thoughts and worries. With care comes worries. He wants to do his best, she knows. 

“Maybe a bit, you know? Like not genuinely worried like I would’ve been a few years ago, but just… averagely worried.” 

“That’s okay,” she comforts, her thumb still tracing smooth lines on his cheek. “It’s normal. It just means you care and want to do good, which is all I can really ask of you.” 

“I do care. A lot. So so much,” he chuckles shyly. 

“Which is also why you’re going to be fine, I will be fine and everything will be fine.” 

She doesn’t give him the time to agree nor protest but instead leans in to place a long, tender kiss on his lips, inviting him to join in on the moment.  It’s just a simple kiss, soft, like the one they had a Shaw’s after agreeing to stop trying (which eventually lead to more trying, but that’s beside the point). With every breath, they take the kiss grows deeper, longer. It’s as if their bodies are aware of the fact that this will be the last time they get to do this without a child to get home to; without the responsibility of being a parent. All at once, it’s frightening but also, more than anything, exciting. Their lives might be on the verge of changing forever. Although lying there in bed together, feeling the soft touch of their spouse, it feels like they’ve never changed and never will. They’re always going to be Jake and Amy. 

[mistaeq]

Tuesday, 29th December

Greek Mythology!Duwang Gang AU: Headcanons

TW // sliiight nsfw-ish or non-con hints in dionysus' part. come on it's dionysus.

Today I offer you these babies. Tomorrow who knows. Hope you enjoy, I had fun with writing these.♡

Greek Mythology AU: Duwang Gang Headcanons. [includes: Higashikata Josuke, Nijimura Okuyasu, Kujo Jotaro, Hirose Koichi, Yamagishi Yukako, Kishibe Rohan]

WORD COUNT: 2k

HIGASHIKATA JOSUKE as APOLLO

Seen as the most beautiful god, Apollo has been recognized as a god of archery, music and dance, truth and prophecy, healing and diseases, the Sun and light, poetry, and more. One of the most important and complex of the Greek gods, he is the son of Zeus (Joseph) and brother of Artemis (Holly). As the protector of young, Apollo is concerned with the health and education of children.

He's seen every early morning, on his chariot, to bring the sunlight up in the sky, all over the Olympus. Josuke's the dream of many nymphs, who look at him from afar, singing songs for the god with their sweet voices, a sound so sweet, a sound so celestial... which is covered up by Apollo's voice fucking around the Olympus with young Dionysus (Okuyasu), pulling pranks on Poseidon (Jotaro) or getting drunk.

You're the most envied creature out of everyone in the Olympus, because Josuke only has eyes for you. Envious nymphs stare at you, and comment on you, trying to convince themselves that they're way better than you are.

"Don't listen to their envy and their insults, they don't know how to cope with the fact that I have clear preferences..." he'd say, caressing your cheek and neck. "This is what poisons relationships and romances... envy... jealousy... but we don't have these useless problems, do we, love...?"

His relationship with other gods on the Olympus is usually fine, but it's not like he cares about hiding his feelings. Almost everyone who knows Josuke, will get to know after not even a week that the god is crushing on you, and that he wants to marry you. You sure hope he's not gonna behave the same way he did to Daphne...

It seems that he has healing powers, and if you happen to not to be a deity, he'll gladly use them on you, Josuke wouldn't forgive himself if anything happened to you.

NIJIMURA OKUYASU as DIONYSUS

Surely not known for his capability to reasonate, Dionysus was the ancient god of wine, fertility, ritual madness, theater, and ecstasy. The god is shown to be a beardless, sensuous, naked or semi-naked youth. Though Dionysus was mostly a kind and generous deity, he could be cruel when he needed it. For some reason, Aphrodite (Yukako) doesn't want to get close to him. She looks scared.

He doesn't do much, during the day. Let's say his favourite thing are feasts. Not really chaste ones, to be completely true. Okuyasu's mind is almost totally hedonistic, and won't feel guilty just because he spent a day watching dancing maenads and had fun teasing them with his Thyrsus instead of caring about whatever mortal dude needed him on Earth. Most of the time he's drunk, but Josuke has his back for some reason.

Many say they don't envy you for being the god's favourite creature, but you don't really care. You enjoy lying down with Okuyasu, caught in a ecstatic feeling as he turns you on with his touch and teaseful words whispered at you.

"Tell me, is it embarrassing for you to be the only one to lie beside me during feasts?" He'd run his lustful gaze and hand all over your body as he asks so, and smirk a little. "No? It isn't...? Sounds like you really like it instead, to be completely honest. Good... really good, in fact. Kiss me now."

He doesn't really have a brilliant relationship with other deities, apart from Apollo. He sometimes sees Echo (Koichi), but not much more. Still, everyone knows it when he has someone he's interested in. The man becomes possessive, Okuyasu will make sure everyone knows you're his. He might give a demonstration during feasts.

He likes to feed you grapes, and in case you liked wine, Okuyasu would want to hold the glass for you as you drink. He likes to do this for you, and you don't mind letting him.

KUJO JOTARO as POSEIDON

Poseidon is the violent and ill-tempered god of the sea. He is nowadays known exclusively as a sea god, but in ancient times, he may have been the god of the earth and fertility or even the supreme god of the sky. His huge height and strength come from his Titan parents, Cronus and Rhea. What he can't acquire with romance and gentleness, he does with violence and craftiness.

He sometimes uses the sea as a coping mechanism for his tiring life. Jotaro doesn't find his ocean so bad to be in, he concentrates and spends his time doing stuff gods... do? What does he really do, is not clear? Apollo and Dionysus tried to stick their heads into the water to spy on him several times, without any result. It's not like he's so happy when mortals need his help, but he can't pull back from his duty.

Poseidon probably noticed you because you weren't bugging him for pointless stuff. He likes pleasures too, like most of the deities do really, he just needs to find the right creature for him. Jotaro doesn't enjoy partners who talk too much.

"Don't worry about being a bother for me. You're the first one who isn't truly bothering me, I take it as a goal by now." he'd say, after he closed you in a bubble in order to bring you under the sea with him. "I never dare to show my realm to people who I judge as annoying, remember that."

It's not like he doesn't have a good relationship with other deities, he basically doesn't really care. He'll just be happy with being under the ocean whenever he feels Josuke and Okuyasu approaching, or not to be there during Apollo and Calliope (Rohan) debates. Give him some deserved peace and an ocean and he'll be grateful forever.

If Jotaro lets you in his private place which is the ocean, consider yourself special for him, for he hates having people there, above all people who are there for him purposely.

HIROSE KOICHI as ECHO

Echo is a mountain nymph, or oread. The myth says that Echo offended the goddess Hera by keeping her in conversation, in order to prevent her from spying on one of Zeus' lovers. To punish him, Hera deprived him of speech, except for the ability to repeat the last words of another. Because of this, his good heart is often misunderstood, but he managed to be appreciated nonetheless.

Koichi would rather have no conversations, for he's not able to say nothing more than the last words his interlocutor said. But he's down to make people understand what he wants to say, by writing it down or through gestures. Apollo approached him once, and brought Dionysus along. He doesn't know how to feel about hanging with gods, but since his issue isn't a problem to them, he'll keep them around. Until they misbehave...

When he gets to know you and notices you aren't willing to exclude him for he doesn't talk properly, his heart melts. Echo wants to spend most of his time with you now, since you make him feel comfortable about the problem Hera caused him.

"I love you, I love you, love you, love you, you, you..." he'd repeat, after you told him that. When he wants to say something like this, you say it for him, so that he can repeat it and say it as well. "You're important to me... important to me... important to me... to me... to me... me..."

Look, he's trying his best, really. Deities aren't known for their inclusive ways, and when he asked you if it was because of his past, you quickly said it wasn't. Nobody cared about it there. Deities were like that with every nymph. Echo had a chance to build up a good relationship with Calliope (Rohan). The muse taught him a lot.

He has fun bringing you to places where your voice echoes, to make you judge who does it better between him and the nature. Needless to say, Koichi always wins.

YAMAGISHI YUKAKO as APHRODITE

Aphrodite was known primarily as a goddess of sexual love, beauty, fertility and even occasionally presided over marriage. Even prostitutes considered Aphrodite their patron. She's had many mortal lovers, and none of them should have ever dared to make her upset. She won't be down for forgiveness, she's really never been. Still, Aphrodite found herself often in trouble due to her personality.

Differently from many other deities, Yukako's real fun consisted in watching humans' love stories bloom and wither. Sometimes she was the reason, sometimes she wasn't. Mortals were so easy to play with. It was when she thought that playing gods was just as simple, that she got caught into a trap. Since that mistake, she decided she would have been amused enough to be happy by mortals' love stories.

Oh, Aphrodite's so used to creatures - above all gods - who tried to stick around her for her body only, so that when you give an appreciation for her intelligence, she'll remember it and love you forever. It's like you signed up a free trial to be loved.

"You know, it's difficult to make me feel love so strong I don't even think about the lustful part... but apparently you managed to do so..." she'd say, sitting in the calm forest as she hands you a flower. "It's good to know someone doesn't love you for your body only but for yourself as well."

Yukako's relationship with other deities and creatures is just... ambiguous? She may never judge what's behind everyone's gaze. Hatred? Love? Lust? Who knows. All she knows, is that the only sight of Dionysus makes the ground under her feet disappear in fear. Compared to him, she'll just be fine in everyone else's company.

Everything she does, it's for the good. If it happens to harm you, Yukako definitely didn't mean it. It'll be enough to tell her, and believe me, it won't happen again.

KISHIBE ROHAN as CALLIOPE

In Greek mythology Calliope is the muse who presides over eloquence and epic poetry. He's called the "Chief of all Muses". He's down to help every literate artist who needs him, gives inspiration and guides the mortals' talented hands, as far as they deserve his power. Calliope's used to be mentioned, and might happen to get upset if not. Even if he's only halfway a deity, he's known for his confidence.

The most famous out of the Muses, Rohan won't forgive anyone who's never heard about him before. He can be seen around Echo a lot lately, since he found the nymph's story interesting and won't hold back from inspiring a mortal with writing about what happened to Koichi. He's used to collect creatures' stories, in order to be written by someone who's talented enough to talk about them properly.

He probably got interested in your story first. Then, for some reason he grew possessive of it. Calliope won't let a mortal put their filthy hands on a story so pure. Let the Muse be the only one who can properly love you.

"This story of yours is so beautiful, I can never have enough... and it's mine only, is it, y/n? Is it?" he'd ask him forever until you answer yes, he'll find no peace at all. "Let me get inspiration from you. Let me be the only one who can properly appreciate your life... just like you deserve."

His relationship with other creatures and deities is... rather good? Rohan's used to have debates and discussions with Josuke, and most of the time they just disagree. Though, many envy his capability of being so creative and smart, mortal writers ask for his help several times. Aphrodite and him sometimes fight over Echo.

He'd write lots of poetries in order to edulcorate your feelings towards him and make you forgive him for his excessive possessiveness. Rohan often succeeds.

[blackwoolncrown]

The defining feature of conversation is the expectation of a response. It would just be a monologue without one. In person, or on the phone, those responses come astoundingly quickly: After one person has spoken, the other replies in an average of just 200 milliseconds.

In recent decades, written communication has caught up—or at least come as close as it’s likely to get to mimicking the speed of regular conversation (until they implant thought-to-text microchips in our brains). It takes more than 200 milliseconds to compose a text, but it’s not called “instant” messaging for nothing: There is an understanding that any message you send can be replied to more or less immediately.

But there is also an understanding that you don’t have to reply to any message you receive immediately. As much as these communication tools are designed to be instant, they are also easily ignored. And ignore them we do. Texts go unanswered for hours or days, emails sit in inboxes for so long that “Sorry for the delayed response” has gone from earnest apology to punchline.

People don’t need fancy technology to ignore each other, of course: It takes just as little effort to avoid responding to a letter, or a voicemail, or not to answer the door when the Girl Scouts come knocking. As Naomi Baron, a linguist at American University who studies language and technology, puts it, “We’ve dissed people in lots of formats before.” But what’s different now, she says, is that “media that are in principle asynchronous increasingly function as if they are synchronous.”

The result is the sense that everyone could get back to you immediately, if they wanted to—and the anxiety that follows when they don’t. But the paradox of this age of communication is that this anxiety is the price of convenience. People are happy to make the trade to gain the ability to respond whenever they feel like it.

While you may know, rationally, that there are plenty of good reasons for someone not to respond to a text or an email—they’re busy, they haven’t seen the message yet, they’re thinking about what they want to say—it doesn’t always feel that way in a society where everyone seems to be on their smartphone all the time. A Pew survey found that 90 percent of cellphone owners “frequently” carry their phone with them, and 76 percent say they turn their phone off “rarely” or “never.” In one small 2015 study, young adults checked their phones an average of 85 times a day. Combine that with the increasing social acceptability of using your smartphone when you’re with other people, and it’s reasonable to expect that it probably doesn’t take that long for a recipient to see any given message.

“You create for people an environment where they feel as though they could be responded to instantaneously, and then people don’t do that. And that just has anxiety all over it,” says Sherry Turkle, the director of the Initiative on Technology and Self at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.

It’s anxiety-inducing because written communication is now designed to mimic conversation—but only when it comes to timing. It allows for a fast back-and-forth dialogue, but without any of the additional context of body language, facial expression, and intonation. It’s harder, for example, to tell that someone found your word choice off-putting, and thus to correct it in real-time, or try to explain yourself better. When someone’s in front of you, “you do get to see the shadow of your words across someone else’s face,” Turkle says.

In last month’s viral New Yorker short story “Cat Person,” a young woman embarks on a failed romantic relationship with a man she meets at the movie theater where she works. They only go on one date in the story; they get to know each other primarily over text. When the affair ends messily, it reveals not only how the bubble of romantic expectations can be popped by reality’s needle, but also how weak digital communication is as a scaffolding on which to build an understanding of another person.

In an interview, the story’s author, Kristen Roupenian, said the piece was inspired by “the strange and flimsy evidence we use to judge the contextless people we meet outside our existing social networks, whether online or off.” Indeed, even for the people we already know, we increasingly rely on contextless forms of communication. This puts an unusually large burden on the words themselves (and maybe some emojis) to convey what is meant. And each message, and each pause in between messages, takes on outsize importance.

“Text messages become marks on rocks to be analyzed and sweated over,” Turkle says.

It’s not always easy to figure out what someone meant to convey by using a certain emoji, or by waiting three days to text you back. Different people have different ideas about how long it’s appropriate to wait to respond. As Deborah Tannen, a linguist at Georgetown University, wrote in The Atlantic, the signals that are sent by how people communicate online—the “metamessages” that accompany the literal messages—can easily be misinterpreted:

Human beings are always in the business of making meaning and interpreting meaning. Because there are options to choose from when sending a message, like which platform to use and how to use it, we see meaning in the choice that was made. But because the technologies, and the conventions for using them, are so new and are changing so fast, even close friends and relatives have differing ideas about how they should be used. And because metamessages are implied rather than stated, they can be misinterpreted or missed entirely.

This metamessage opacity spawns thousands of other text messages a year, as people enlist their friends to help interpret exactly what their romantic interest meant by a certain turn of phrase, or whether a week-long radio silence means they’re being ghosted. (The New Yorker parodied this collaborative textual analysis in a video in which a group of women gather, war-room style, to answer the question “Was It a Date?”)

Features intended to add clarity—like read receipts or the little bubble with the ellipses in iMessage that tells you when someone is typing (which is apparently called the “typing awareness indicator”)—often just cause more anxiety, by offering definitive evidence for when someone is ignoring you or started to reply only to put it off longer.

* * *

But just because people know how stressful it can be to wait for a reply to what they thought would be an instant message doesn’t mean they won’t ignore others’ messages in turn.

Sometimes people don’t respond as a way of deliberately signaling they’re annoyed, or that they don’t want to continue a relationship. Turkle says sometimes taking a long time to write back is a way of establishing dominance in a relationship, by making yourself look simply too busy and important to reply.

But oftentimes, people are just trying to manage the quantity of messages and notifications they receive. In 2015, the average American was receiving 88 business emails per day, according to the market research firm Radicati, but only sending 34 business emails per day. Because—who has the time to respond to 88 emails a day? Maybe someone isn’t responding because they’ve realized the interruption of a notification negatively affects their productivity, so they’re ignoring their phone to get some work done.

I find myself ignoring or procrastinating even important messages, and ones I want and intend to respond to. I had to create a bright red “Needs Response” email label to battle my own “delayed response” problem. I regularly read texts, think “I’ll respond to that later,” and then completely forget about it.  Working memory—the brain’s mental to-do list—can only hold so much at once, and when notifications get crammed in with shopping lists and work tasks, sometimes it springs a leak.

“A lot of the time what’s happening is people have five conversations going on, and they just can’t really be intimate and present with five different people,” Turkle says. “So they kind of do a triage, they prioritize, they forget. Your brain is not a perfect instrument for processing texts. But it will be interpreted as though it really was a conversation, and so you can hurt people.”

* * *

Still, even though instant written communication can be overwhelming and anxiety-inducing, people prefer it. Americans spend more time texting than talking on the phone, and texting is the most frequent form of communication for Americans under 50.

While texting is popular worldwide, Baron, of American University, thinks that a strong preference for communication that can be easily ignored is a particularly American attitude. “Americans have far fewer manners in general in their communication than a lot of other societies,” she says. “The second issue is a real feeling of empowerment. I think we have become a version of power freaks, not just control freaks.”

In a survey Baron conducted in 2007 and 2008 of students in several countries including the United States, the things that people said they liked most about their phones were often related to control. One American woman said her favorite thing was “Constant communication when I want it (can also shut it off when I don’t).”

“What I have seen in this country, and I don’t know if it’s a national trait, is people wait until they think they have the perfect thing to say, as though relationships can be managed by writing the perfect thing,” Turkle says. “And I think that is something we pay a very high cost for.”

In Baron’s survey, people also mentioned feeling controlled by their phones—bemoaning how dependent they were on the devices, and how the constant connectivity made them feel obligated to respond.

But texts and emails don’t create as big of an obligation as phone calls, or a face-to-face conversation. When young adults are interviewed about why they don’t like making phone calls, they cite a distaste for how “invasive” they are, and a reluctance to place that burden on someone else. Written instant messages create a smokescreen of plausible deniability if someone doesn’t feel like responding, which can be relieving for the hider, and frustrating for the seeker.

More than anything, what the age of instant communication has enabled is the ability to deal with conversation on our own terms. We can respond right away, we can put it off for two days, or never get around to it at all. We can manage several different conversations at once. “Sorry, I was out with friends,” we might say, as an excuse for not texting someone back. Or, “Sorry, I just need to text this person back real quick,” we might say while out with friends.

As these things become normal, it creates an environment where we are only comfortable asking for slivers of people’s distracted time, lest they ever obligate us to give them our full and undivided attention.

[petri808]

@ktdkvalentines​ for Syd on Ig Valentines Exchange

Bakudeku College Au. TW: panic attack, anxiety, some angst w/happy ending based on the request.

Izuku Midoriya was in a great mood that Fall morning as he arrived at the college campus. His first day of his first year away from home, ready to start the next leg of his journey. He’d chosen this university for its good reviews and psychology program. He wanted to do something good in his life and what better way then helping others who’d suffered like he had. Not that he’d had a horrible life but growing up in a single parent household created some attachment issues and bullying when he was younger left him with anxieties. All through high school he’d worked extra hard to get to a point where he could function most of the time, and he was proud of how far he’d come. That growth is what led him to pursue a career in psychology, to take his negative experiences and turn them into a positive one.

So, he wasn’t ready when he walked into the dorm room and saw the familiar blonde hair and red eyes of his nightmares looking back at him. 

Oh, this couldn’t be happening! Izuku swallowed hard, a mantra of calming statements flooding his brain as a silent staring content ensued. Neither man said a word, but the longer this went on for, the voices in his mind slowed and were replaced with questions. He was starting to realize... did the blonde even remember him?! He couldn’t tell if it was confusion, or maybe pain on the man’s twisted features, but it certainly wasn’t the angry boy he’d grown up with.

“Wow, Izuku is that you?” The man spoke with no malice in his tone, even rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “Been a long time, huh?”

“Yeah... about 7 years I think.”

“H-How you been?”

“Okay, I guess. A bit surprised to see a familiar face.”

The blonde’s shoulders dropped slightly, and he averted his eyes to the ground, “probably not who you’d hoped to see again...”

“I didn’t say...”

“No, no, it’s okay.” The man waved his hands to stop him. “I— I owe you an apology Zuku. And I’m not looking for forgiveness cause I don’t deserve it, but I hope we can, I don’t know like start off fresh, I guess, since we’re stuck in this room together.”

Izuku blinked in confusion, what had happened to Katsuki Bakugou in these past 7 years?! He was certain it wasn’t all arouse, or that the man was trying to bring his guard down, because Katsuki sounded genuine. Until the age of 2 or 3 they were actually really close, but for some reason by the end of their first year of primary school, he’d started picking on Izuku, or taking out his anger on the smaller boy. He had no idea what triggered it, but in the end, he was left emotionally scarred. Now, the man standing before him exuded a broken version of that 3-year-old child he once knew.

“You’re right. I lost count of how many times I ran home in tears because of you. We were best friends and it really hurt when you started picking on me and being mean to me.” The pain evident in his voice rang out into the small, shared room. “I don’t care why you did it. But,” Izuku continued with a sigh, “you’re right, I don’t wanna rehash the past either, so if we can just start over and put up with being roommates, we’ll see how it goes.”

“I’d like that. A-and I know it might not mean much but am sorry Zuku— about how I’d treated you. I promise, I’m not that guy anymore.”

“I believe you.” And he did, for now. Deep down, Izuku always tried to stay positive because if he didn’t, and allowed the irrational thoughts to fester, it could pull him right back into an episode. He didn’t fully trust Katsuki yet, but if was serious about going into the counseling field, he also knew it was important to continue moving forward. That didn’t mean divulging all of his secrets, or telling Katsuki about his own struggles, but he’ll stay alert to make sure that at any sign the man was slipping, he’d get out of there.

As the first two months crept along, the roommates went about their own business with very little interactions at first. It was a bit weird to Izuku, to be in a shared room where their beds were literally just a few feet from one another’s, yet they were lucky to go beyond a good morning or hello. In comfortable situations, he was a bubbly person who genuinely enjoyed talking to people, so the stillness of their room was unnerving. Of course, this was better than feeling fearful around Katsuki, but how are they to move forward and maybe become friends again, if they weren’t interacting?

So, because they weren’t talking, Izuku did the next best thing and observed. One thing that had not changed about Katsuki, was being meticulous. The blondes side of the room was always neat and tidy, books or stationery on the desk stacked perfectly, clothes in the closet organized by color and type, even the bed was always made with crisp corners. Early to bed and early to rise, the man had a ritual of sorts. If he wasn’t studying at his desk, he’d be on his bed reading or listening to music. Even the way Katsuki ate was curious to Izuku, constantly wiping his hands or face of any residue. There were a few things the blonde requested of him, no scented candles or strong, smelling fish type meals, and to leave his side of the curtains closed, something about the sunlight bothering him. They were simple enough requests to acquiesce to.

The man rarely left the room except to go to class and as far as he could tell, Katsuki had only one other friend on the campus who’d occasionally drop by. A nice guy, very friendly named Eijiro Kirishima. Well, he assumed they were friends because most of the time, his roommate stayed quiet while Eijiro did the talking. Izuku was pretty sure he spoke to the man more then Katsuki during these visits. They seemed unlikely friends really, one happy-go-lucky, and one anti-social... kind of reminded him of their once friendship now that he thought about it.

Izuku could appreciate the idea of sticking to familiar surroundings. Their dorm room was a sanctuary for him as well. He avoided large, crowded areas as much as possible, and if he didn’t know anyone, did his best to be inconspicuous. But within their room, with just the two of them, it should be a comfortable experience. Before coming to the school, he’d wondered what his roommate would be like or imagined making friends, so it was a little disappointing. By the third month it was a close friend of Izuku’s that suggested he make the first move to engage Katsuki in conversations. Start out simple, maybe learn any hobbies, what music he listened to, his major, etc. Forget the fact he knew the man and pretend as if he’s trying to make a new friend. Ugh, he hated making the first move. Izuku preferred being engaged not initiating it because it drove his anxieties up. But they were right. ‘Think of it like practice,’ Izuku reasoned with himself, ‘pulling a difficult client out of their shell.’

It was a lazy Sunday around midterms when Izuku decided to make a move. As he sat rested on his bed similarly to Katsuki, with his back against the wall and a textbook propped on his legs. Every few seconds, he glanced over the book’s edge, side-eyeing the blonde who was also nose deep into a chemistry textbook. Should he say something? But the man looked preoccupied, and Chemistry is a difficult subject. Maybe he shouldn’t bother Katsuki? He didn’t want to be annoying or anything and it wasn’t important really. Then again, the guy was always preoccupied with something or other and if he waited for a perfect moment, what if it never came? Would he wait forever? No, this was as good a time as ever.

Izuku lowered his book. “H-How’s the studying going Kacchan?”

The blonde turned to look at him briefly. “Fine.” Then returned to his reading.

“Oh, that’s good.”

Ugh! It was always so hard to get a read on Katsuki! His affect and tone were flat, no anger, amusement, nothing, just his common one worded response. It was rare for the blonde to give or maintain eye contact, so at least the man looked at him this time.

He tried another question. “I noticed your chemistry book, is that your major?”

“Yup.”

“Um, what do you do with a chemistry degree?” Izuku asked genuinely.

This time Katsuki surprised Izuku when he stopped and put his book down before engaging. “I’m fascinated by the chemical reactions of fire and combustion. How it works, why it occurs, how it can be manipulated, stuff like that. And I don’t know, I could be a scientist, or maybe do pyrotechnics, just work somewhere I don’t have to talk to too many people.”

“Wow! I mean I was never good at math and stuff to understand, but it sounds pretty interesting.”

“I guess so. What’s with the questions all of a sudden?”

“W-Well,” Izuku shifted his body to face the man completely, “we’re roommates. I don’t expect us to be full-on friends, but I figured it would be nice to talk sometimes.” Katsuki’s silent reply of nothing forced him to make a decision to continue talking, because he assumed if the man wasn’t interested, he would have turned away. Silence wasn’t exactly a normal response, but maybe the blonde really wasn’t sure what to say next. “I don’t expect you tell me super personal stuff— just small talk. Like, um, what kind of music do you like?”

“Alternative.”

Izuku’s eyes flashed with surprise at such a quick response. Okay, so Katsuki was fine with answering. “I like that too! Well, some,” he giggled. “Though I mostly listen to pop now. What about movies?”

“Horror films.”

“Oof,” Izuku cringed. “I can’t handle those they scare me too much!”

“I remember. It gave you nightmares.”

Bouncing on the bed, Izuku’s legs moved to hang over the edge in his excitement. He was really surprised in a good way that Katsuki remembered something so mundane about him. “Wow! You still remember that?! Yeah,” he laughed, “I’ll stick to sci-fi or action. Plus, I’m not fond of theaters anyways so, I just watch stuff on my laptop.”

“Why not? You used to be the outgoing one.”

That made Izuku flinch because he wasn’t ready to tread into that territory with his former bully. “Oh, you know, it’s always crowded, and you have to deal with parent-less kids causing a racket in the place. I rather just enjoy my movie without all that.”

“Makes sense. I don’t care to go to places like that either.”

“Yeah, I noticed that— is there anything you do like or hobbies maybe?”

“Just exercising in the early morning, by myself, except since Eijiro inserted himself, I tolerate him.”

So, that confirmed what he’d already suspected. Katsuki kept his body in really great shape and that hadn’t gone unnoticed by Izuku. But since he wasn’t much of a morning person, he didn’t notice what time Katsuki left the dorm, only the man’s return, showered and refreshed. Needless to say, the blonde male with wet hair was nice to look at and smelled good too. “Oh,” his face heated up at the thought of it, but he needed to play dumb. “So, that’s what you do in the mornings. I wondered about that.”

Things between the roommates settle into a comfortable routine. As another month passes by, Izuku still needed to start the conversation, but at least Katsuki would respond amicably or engaged with him, and to his delight with the help of Eijiro, they’d even managed to get the man to go out to dinner once. Those years of dread and angst were melting away, and soon enough Izuku looked forward to spending time with his old friend.

He still couldn’t get a full read on Katsuki’s demeanor. The man’s emotionless responses made it difficult to tell whether or not he was even enjoying anything. So, Izuku could only assume that by participating, he didn’t mind. The old Katsuki would say whatever he was thinking, good or bad, and while he got the sense that he would do so as needed, such as letting him know about the scent issue, it would be really nice if it didn’t feel like a guessing game all the time. Regardless, the progress they were making to rekindle any sort of relationship was a win in Izuku’s mind.

“Here.”

Izuku looked up from his desk to see a plastic shopping bag held in Katsuki’s hand. “What’s this?” He took it tentatively.

“I saw it at the store. You still into this stuff?”

He opened the bag and pulled out the latest action figure of his favorite comic book character. It was a figurine he’d been saving up his spare money to buy. “Kacchan,” Izuku looked back up curiously at the man. “Is this for me? How’d you know?”

Katsuki just shrugged. “Just remembered you were obsessed with the guy.”

“Thank you, really, but I can’t except this gift, it’s not even my birthday.”

“Just take it. Think of it as an I’m sorry gift if it makes you feel better.”

As Izuku sat there stunned, the blonde simply went back to his bed without another word and picked up a book as if nothing significant had just occurred.

“T-Thank you, Kacchan.”

“Yeah, no prob.”

His face heated up and a smile took over as he stared at the action figure for a few seconds before staging it prominently on his bedside table. Izuku had left all of his collectibles at home, so it was nice to have something in their room. But even more important, was again, Katsuki remembered something about Izuku from their childhood and took the time to get this gift. Despite their long rocky history, this small act meant the world to him. It was the first true moment to make Izuku think, maybe they really could be like they once were.

Finals were approaching in barely two more weeks, and some students were already stressing out. The anxiety in the air felt palpable to Izuku. He could feel it practically oozing off the other students. Of course, everyone dealt with stress in different ways. Some went inwards, the pressure fueling them to work harder while other’s went the completely opposite route of goofing off and procrastinating. Other’s might stress eat, binge caffeine drinks, and friends banded together in study groups. But then there are the ones who took out their frustrations and stress on others.

Bullies. The bane of Izuku’s existence.

Most of the time, he could easily avoid their type around campus. He’d developed a sixth sense for such individuals which his therapist explained as a heightened sense of energy levels. It’s really not as mystical as it sounds, rather that, those like him that suffer from a high level of anxiety, are sensitive to other people’s emotional outputs. Being bullied or harassed himself certainly sent his anxiety’s skyrocketing but seeing it could also trigger a problem depending on the severity.

Hence his current predicament...

It was the end of the day for Izuku and he was ready to just get back to his dorm, eat something, and dive into his studies. One of his teachers had released the finals study guide early, so he thought it best to get a head start. But as he made his way past the row of dorm buildings, Izuku spotted something that sent a cold chill down his spine. Three men cornering a fourth. They were at least 50 yards away and he couldn’t hear everything they were yelling. Something about a group project, pulling weight— One man had grabbed the victims shirt and was semi-lifting him up while the other two men just watched and egged him on.

Oh, this was not good! Izuku’s memories started to replay and his experiences were brought back to the forefront. The men’s faces were so close... he could almost feel the hot breath wafting over, spit hitting his face, or the smell of the bullies breath. It made him sick to his stomach. Izuku’s heart raced, his throat began to close up, and breathing grew erratic. He needed to get out of there! The red piercing eyes of his nightmares took center stage in his mind’s eye... all those times he was harassed and battered by Katsuki rushing back like a wave to toss him against a wall of sandy hair.

‘Deep breaths, deep breaths, deep breaths!’ Izuku screamed in his head, ‘calm down, calm down, get back to my room! It’s not you, it’s not you... it’s not him! It’s not him!!’

Izuku picked up the pace, a fast walk over a running sprint to avoid being noticed. The last thing he needed was to draw attention to himself and risk becoming the new target. He dug his nails hard into his arm to force his mind towards a physical distraction, but it wasn’t working.

A deep voice screamed, cursing at the top of its lungs, and filling Izuku’s mind, just like that long ago day. The worst attack, the one that finally pushed his mother to move him to a different school. All the fear coursing through his veins rush back, heart pounding against his rib cage. Katsuki had grabbed him, hand fisted into his shirt as he pushed Izuku up a wall and off his feet. He could still feel the cold stone wall behind him juxtaposed to the pain from his hot throbbing lip and swollen cheek where he’d been struck.

He burst through the dorm room door, stumbling, spilling his bag onto the floor as he fell to his knees, gasping for air because his jaw felt locked up and he couldn’t get enough air. All of his muscles were tensing up, imagined or not, it felt like he was suffocating. His body was shaking, sweating— he wanted to puke.

“Whoa, Zuku, what’s wrong?!”

Katsuki had rushed over and dropped to the floor, grabbing Izuku by the shoulders to hold him up and steady. But he couldn’t answer the man in words. Tears were streaming down his face as he did his best to focus and answer the man, but it was tough, fighting against the rapid assault of images in his mind and cursing blaring in his eardrums.

“Fuck, um, allergic reaction?!”

Izuku shook his head violently, no.

“Choking?!”

Again, Izuku shook his head violently, no.

“Panic attack?!”

Izuku now adamantly shook his head, yes!

“Okay, okay, shit, panic attacks, um, it’s been awhile, what do I— oh, right, okay, okay, d-don’t move!” Katsuki stumbled back to his feet and ran out of the room, coming back within a minute with a cup of ice cubes from the common kitchen. He takes one, two, three, shoving it into Izuku’s mouth. It took a bit of effort to get the man’s jaw to open wide enough to shove it in. “Close your mouth all the way, try to get the ice to touch the roof of your mouth.”

Seconds after the ice touched, it sent a brain freeze from hell shooting through Izuku’s pain receptors. “Ahhh!” He spat out all the melting cubes as his hands fly up to his head, cradling, squeezing to counter against the physical pain, “cold! Cold! Cold!”

At that statement, Katsuki slumped back onto his haunches in relief. “Oh good, it worked.” He then took Izuku’s hands with an even soft tone. “Look at me.” Once the man complied, he continued. “Focus on your breathing, inhale when I say to, exhale when I say to.”

Izuku struggled against the embers of irrational thoughts coupled with the brain freeze coming down. His breathing stayed haggard, jagged as he fought his own mind to follow Katsuki’s instructions. But every time he’d start to struggle, the man would refocus him back to the breathing by pressing his thumb nail into the webbing of Izuku’s hand. Not very hard, but enough of a sting to bring back his focus on the physical. It took about 15 minutes until he could breathe in time with Katsuki’s words.

Be it the overwhelming sense of release or sheer exhaustion, Izuku collapsed on to Katsuki’s chest. His panicked breathing whittled down to silent sobbing. The blonde didn’t move or flinch and held the man up, simply keeping his arms around his back without a word. Minutes dragged by as the tears finally slowed.

“Thank you, Kacchan,” Izuku breathed out. “How’d you know what to do?”

“Let’s just say, I’ve had my share.”

Izuku sat back, rubbing away the moisture drying on his cheeks as he looked at his roommate with new eyes. “You? W-When? I-I mean if you don’t wanna say, it’s fine, I’ll understand. We probably both have a lot a secrets.”

Katsuki thought for a moment. “If I tell you what happened, you gotta come clean too.”

He hadn’t expected that, but after what had just occurred, perhaps it was time. “Okay,” Izuku nods.

“In middle school I was sent to a therapist because of my anger issues and diagnosed as a high functioning autistic. Frankly, I don’t know how much to believe in that, but in the end, the therapist was a good thing.” Katsuki leaned back against a desk leg. “The short answer, I learned the reason I’d started bullying you was because I was getting frustrated with myself which lead to anger, and I wrongly took it out on the closest person to me.”

“Why were you frustrated? I thought we were fine...”

“It had nothing to do with you. It was me and I don’t know, I just started feeling different, I didn’t like being around people, didn’t understand or even care about anyone because I couldn’t figure out how to fit in. Yet I’d watch you make friends so effortlessly and I got mad. There’s a lot more to it, even blamed my mom for some of it, but I just didn’t know how else to get it out except through anger. It took a few years to learn to control myself. That’s one of the reasons I got into exercising. If I start feeling frustrated, I can take it out that way now, burn off the excess energy I guess.”

Izuku was a little taken aback at the idea Katsuki’s been diagnosed on the autism spectrum. The man didn’t seem like he had a mental disorder, but the clues were there. The aversion to certain stimulus, social apathy, his fixations on certain elements. “Wow... I had no idea. It doesn’t excuse what you did, but I’m glad you’ve come this far.”

“So, what about you?”

“I don’t think it was just the bullying that started it all. After my dad left us, I was already vulnerable, it’s why I latched onto you so quickly. So, when you started— I-I felt extremely hurt. You were my first friend, my best friend Kacchan and when you started hurting me... I don’t know what was worse, the physical pain or the mental ones. By the time I moved schools, I’d developed anxiety and depression, and it got so bad my mom finally took me to a therapist where I worked all through high school to get it under control. I do really good now, but sometimes things trigger me.” More tears resurface to cloud Izuku’s eyes, but he kept them from spilling. “Today, on my way here, I-I saw a guy being harassed and it brought it all back again. Nothing was working, so I just thought if I could just get to safety, a-and I don’t know, I figured I could get it under control once I was alone. But I’m glad you were here, because I don’t think I could have. You really, saved me today Kacchan.”

“It doesn’t make up for anything. I’m the asshole who made you like this.”

He snorted a laugh, “that’s for sure, but the cause became the cure.”

“What?”

“You caused this, but today you cured it. That means a lot to me because I do want to forgive you.”

“No. I don’t deserve a second chance. I’m content that we’re at least on speaking terms again and I could make amends somehow.”

“Kacchan, everyone deserves a second chance.” Izuku’s smile returned. “We were kids. You didn’t know better. And you’ve changed, that’s the important thing. I think we’ve both changed.”

“How?”

“Well, it’s those experiences that helped me to find a new passion in life to help others— people like us who are struggling with something. Turn a negative into a positive.”

“How the hell do you do that? You just had a panic attack and you’re already sunny smiles again. I mean you were always like this, and it’s me, I just don’t get emotions, but if you wanna forgive me, I guess I can’t stop you.”

Izuku shrugged. “Nope you, can’t,” he smiled wider. “Right now, this is probably the happiest I’ve felt in a very long time.” He stood up and extended a hand, helping Katsuki to his feet. “Dinner, my treat.”

“I don’t feel like going out.”

“I know,” Izuku smiled. “I’ll order in.”

[secret-engima]

missingmywing

Okay, but imagine Ignis as Rufus. Who looks around, and sees everything that he fought against in a previous lifetime, now in power, now with the expectation that he would endorse it. And Ignis knows politics, he spent a childhood previously elbow-deep in the thick them, learning to protect his prince. He knows the games, the moves. Sharp minded, ever practical Ignis looks around and says "No. This will not stand."

missingmywing

And every move he makes has several layers of purpose. He plays the son of the President to a T- all the while doing everything in his power to undermine Shinra. And he looks at the Turks, and sees potential. (I could also see him as Lazard, but I feel like Rufus would be more fitting, somehow.)

missingmywing

As for Gladio: Angeal. A complete 180 from his last life, he grows up with nothing but his family, and he loves them even as he aches for what isn't there. And then he meets a redhead boy who's all swagger and tough-talk with a temper that he can't fully fight back and suddenly has the thought "Is this what Ignis felt like dealing with me?" Suddenly Gladio is the braincell, arguing against a boy who feels he has something to prove and will do reckless things to prove it.

missingmywing

And he follows after a boy who he feels doesn't take things seriously enough, and is too immature, but this time it's not out of duty. It's to keep this boy who's a reflection of himself at his absolute worst, with none of the growth or maturity he grew into, from getting himself killed taking on something he can't handle. (And then he meets Sephiroth. And then he meets Ignis. And things suddenly get very complicated. And about twenty times more stressful.)

Me: Oooo this is GLORIOUS. @swiftyue suggested Ignis as Tseng, which is ALSO glorious, but I will admit this one is more tempting. Just-

Ignis is reborn and for a while he doesn’t remember. But then there’s a kidnapping attempt that is both successful and also not, and the Turks find “Rufus” two weeks later out in the wastelands outside Midgar with shaking hands and too-keen eyes, because Rufus almost died and now Ignis has WOKEN UP.

Only to find that now HE is the royalty (in all but name). HE is the child of a cruel empire, destined to sit on its throne and he hates it, he HATES it.

He looks out upon all Rupert Shinra (not father, NEVER father, that bloody, apathetic tyrant will never be Ignis’s parent) has built and decides he will tear it down. He will rip it up by the roots and if nothing can be salvaged then he will burn it to the ground.

But he is (was) the Hand of a king, he knows better than to rush out like a revolutionary, causing collateral left and right, hurting the innocent people. He will not be one of those angry, shortsighted vigilantes who tear down businesses, ruin livelihoods and break families of the ordinary citizens who’s only sin is that they, like so many others, live and work in the shadow of Shinra’s sins. Oh no.

Ignis stands to inherit an empire. He has a lifetime of political training and experience and patience to back him up already. He was a CORNERSTONE of the survival of mankind during the Long Night.

He will play the long game, he has the time. He will sit on his throne and move his pieces across Rupert Shinra’s board.

And he will win.

He wears the name and skin of Rufus Shinra like a theater mask, a tailored suit. He listens to everything his tutors can give him and then sneaks off to the library for more. The mayor finds him endearing really, with his gentle manners and his lust for knowledge of history, arts, and sciences. He watches the Turks that guard him and in them he sees the keys to all of Shinra, and so he plays that game too. The Turks underestimate him, even as they watch his “prodigy mind” absorbing information years ahead of what he should be. Rupert is thrilled to have a genius child, but even he doesn’t know how vast Ignis’s mind is. Only the Turks get that glimpse, and only the ones he thinks are worthy.

Tseng quickly becomes a favorite, he reminds Ignis of himself, and they get along splendidly. Reno and Rude come later, a matched pair that reminds Ignis of things from his past life and make him smile (the first time Tseng hears Rufus laugh out loud, he goes still in shock. Reno, a new rookie Turk at the time, has no clue what a miracle he’s created just by trying and failing to make hot chocolate, how the young child of the president hasn’t openly laughed or smiled since his kidnapping and two week disappearance.)

One by one, Ignis draws the Turks in. He is charismatic for his age and smart, he knows how to win people over, especially people who know that he was “up to something”. Some of them he wins over by being “endearingly bad” at manipulation, like a Coeurl cub being cooed at for its clumsy pounces rather than feared for the deadly killer it is teaching itself to become. Others he wins over with his mind, impressing the keen sighted with his intelligence and drive and work ethic.

Some, like Tseng, he wins over by being the most of himself he’s ever been. It’s Tseng who discovers Ignis’s cooking obsession, how baking from scratch and making filling dishes for others to eat relaxes him like nothing else. It’s Tseng who realizes one day that his charge wears the name “Rufus Shinra” like an suit that is tailored wrong so that it chafes and wears.

But Ignis knows he’s won the Turks the day Veld comes to visit (as he sometimes does, for the head of such a deadly division, the man has a heart for children and Rufus is the only one he has any reason to visit during his long months of work) and catches Tseng calling Ignis “Ignis”, because Tseng had asked what name he would prefer over “Rufus” and Ignis had dared to answer honestly, and doesn’t tell Rupert. He just watches Tseng and Ignis interact with sharp eyes, accept the muffin Ignis bossily pressed into his hand, and then let it slide.

An identity crisis is something Rupert would have wanted to know (should have been told). But Rupert never speaks of it and Ignis is certain he doesn’t know. Veld has kept the secret. And it’s only a little one really, but it’s one of Ignis’s secrets Veld is choosing to keep. It’s foot in the door.

Ignis can do a lot with a foot in the door.

And then of course later, Ignis learns he’s not alone. He reunites with Gladio first, and the Turks sit up internally at how FAST their young vice president bonds with the Soldier, how quickly they fall into a rhythm around each other that speaks of years of partnership rather than a few months of friendship.

And then he learns there are OTHER. Prompto and Luna and NOCTIS and Ignis could cry from relief that he is not alone anymore in this second lifetime. He is not the only one anymore.

...

And YES. GLADIO AS ANGEAL LET’S DO THAT. I just- I love this idea so much. That Gladio wakes up when he’s young, and he remembers- being someone else. Being a Shield and a Crownsguard and a leader and a brother and now-

Now he’s an only child, an ordinary child in an ordinary orchard town and he loves his parents, he does, and he loves the lazy days of BEING a child without having to train for an inherited duty but-.

But it still aches.

He walks in the shadow of someone no one can see, and he watches the sunrise and thinks he hears a camera clicking when there is none, and sometimes he can barely swallow his mother’s apple pie because it’s GOOD but it ISN’T IGGY’S. It tastes WRONG, like it’s less somehow than Ignis’s familiar (safe, home) cooking and- and it hurts. It makes him quieter and steadier than most kids, more patient and more honorable. He has been a leader of men, a Shield of a King (a brother who failed), a warrior who helped hold back the darkness of the Long Night. The problems of children seem awfully small compared to all that.

And then he meets Genesis. Genesis who is too smart and too immature by turns, who is BRIGHT and brilliant and has something to prove wherever he goes, because his rich parents may love him, but they do not pay attention to him in the way he needs and all Angeal (Gladio) can see is himself. Young and stubborn and angry at a world that already has his destiny laid out, eager to prove himself in any way he could an Astrals is this how Ignis felt dealing with him? No wonder his brother in arms got so impatient sometimes. Angeal feels like smacking Genesis upside the head more than once, but instead he bites it back and channels his adult side into keeping this kid from doing something dumb.

It takes him a few years to realize he is now Genesis’s Ignis and inside he’s a bit of a Scream™.

Angeal has no interest in Shinra, he can smell the corruption from a hundred miles away, but Genesis is obsessed and not willing to budge on this no matter how Angeal wheedles, so the day Genesis runs off to sign up, Angeal is on his heels sighing bitterly that he is once again signing himself up to a military life.

And then he meets Sephiroth, who is so clearly abused and weaponized and lost in a world outside the labs that it HURTS and Angeal can’t stop himself from being a Shield again. From standing between Sephiroth and the world with a steady, controlled ferocity that unknowingly takes Sephiroth’s breath away.

(Sephiroth meets them in Wutai, two more recruits to the war, and at first he has only eyes for Genesis, who is loud and competitive and confusing and annoying)

(He doesn’t really notice the bigger one with black hair and knowing eyes trailing along behind)

(Until another Soldier starts getting too pushy and angry over something Sephiroth did that he doesn’t understand and his control over his instincts to lash out is shaking and then suddenly there’s someone standing between them, a wall of muscle where there was none before, a broad young back of another Soldier, a rookie, who looks the older Soldier in the eyes and growls at him to back off while Genesis orbits nearby with a fire materia and a gleam in his eyes.)

(And Sephiroth learns that the wall’s name is Angeal)

Angeal gets attached, and during one of his leaves, he comes back with a tender back and arms from the tattoo of an eagle with spread wings (and the style is wrong, not like his old one, he’d gone to a Wutai parlor and they had a different art style, but it is HIS. His feathers and his promise. When Sephiroth runs curious fingers down the feathers on his bicep, Angeal tells him it’s a promise to his friends and Sephiroth looks surprised to realize that he is included in that promise).

Then they are recalled to Midgar, to a city that stinks of corruption and Angeal-

And Gladio-

Finds Ignis again.

And that is stressful, because what if that means Noct is out there alone somewhere, but it is also a RELIEF because he never knew how exhausting being the group Braincell was until now and he needs to vent, even if it means Ignis gets to laugh at his misery.

[harriet-bailes]

fuck it, Mary Wardwell neurodivergent headcanons bc no one can stop me. no I do not take criticism (yes I do actually just constructive though, lmk if I make any mistakes etc!) (a sprinkling of Lilith because they’re two sides of the same coin and very interconnected red string of fate and all that)

(slaps my blog) this post can fit so many headcanons in it, this went everywhere and kind of. isn’t actually specific to nd things but also that shapes a lot of my idea of her.

also warning this has a fair bit of negative stuff and a hint o’ ableism from the caos vaguely 1960s setting

Sensory issues

Her cottage is so dark the whole show is so dark, visually, anyways she’s sensitive to light, prefers candles/old lamps/the fireplace to brighter lights and direct sun (when gardening, big hats are required)

but she canonically goes on nature walks! I’m gonna say mostly on misty days, in the early mornings or near the evenings 

She wears sweaters all the time because the costuming department did her dirty because she doesn’t like having her arms exposed, they have a good weight and she sticks to a few good textures

doesn’t like a lot of pants because they’re restricting and there are only a few textures that she enjoys, also doesn’t like tight/short skirts for the same reason

necklaces are the only jewelry she can stand 

also can’t stand dry skin she uses so much hand lotion 

keeps her nails very short as well, to keep em from brushing bad textures and just to keep them out of the way 

especially cause she deals with a lot of paper and dry hands on paper is the 3rd layer of sensory hell, as referenced in Dante’s Inferno of course (this one is just straight up projection that one kind of slightly thicker printer paper is. evil for my nails) 

very specific about physical contact and external pressures, mostly it feels Bad (like idk maybe getting tied up with rope and gagged by a student hmmmm)

bad with intense/artificial smells but she has worn the same subtle perfume for 2 and a half decades 

weirdly okay with a lot of noise, probably a combination of playing the piano when she was younger, drowning other things out with music, watching loud movies at the theater, and mostly working in a loud highschool. The ‘foolish chitter-chatter’ becomes white noise and it’s almost comforting sometimes. but it’s annoying when you haven’t gotten any sleep because you shot a woman in the chest the night before (I only half accept pt3 as canon)

okay also because school things are half back now, I’m remembering the bell and beeping from the intercom is Sensory Hell

General Things?

so so so so observant

always noticing patterns, everywhere in everything

yes there’s piles everywhere but she knows where everything is so it’s f i n e 

interested in Everything, a very well rounded set of interests, she can draw and bake and garden fairly well and tell you the most obscure historical and literary facts

she really will just pull out random facts all the time, you can talk about anything and she’ll start talking about the deep history behind it

“who doesn’t love a good scare every now and then” is a cover for her Intense interest in horror of every kind 

collections, collections of so so so many things. bisque dolls that she holds onto from her childhood, MAPS! SO MANY MAPS. 

I can’t decide if she’s either read every single one of her many books or if they’re mostly just rare ish things she’s collected on Every Possible Subject but hasn’t actually gotten to and they’re mostly just there for students

that being said, either way, she has at least 10 books in Every genre, her own library has a lot more range than what’s available in the main library, including many Inappropriate/banned books

color coded grading with a specific set of blue/red/black pens and stamps, students either love it or hate it 

she gets deeply focused on tasks, you have to bring her out of it gently, she can startle like a deer. If she’s reading or grading or pretty much anything she can tune everything out 

knitting is great for that too, very rhythmic 

gets very uncomfortable leaving a task unfinished, like it’s straight up disturbing for her 

hyperempathy that’s it that’s the post.

and a strong sense of justice!!

and so so so much anxiety that she holds equally in her body and brain, have u Seen how she holds herself

panic attacks panic attacks 

constantly thinks about how she’s being perceived, shifts her behavior and acting accordingly to put other people at ease

but so much more comfortable alone when she doesn’t have to manage her facial expressions

and she’s so repressed, oh dear god

I headcanon her as a very repressed lesbian, she just completely pushed the idea of attraction out of her mind and when she got older she’d subconsciously distance herself from other women and ended up just latching on to a man who was There (okay this is more internalized homophobia and gender roles stuff but yknow) (I think about this fic https://archiveofourown.org/works/22517653 SO MUCH, thank you Paradox)

ms. softlilith once referred to her as, “for lack of a better phrase, the patron saint for weird, crazy fact hoarding, intellectual gays” which lives in my head rent free

Stims/fidgeting/other physical things

Listen she 100% rocks in that armchair 

god okay it’s not flapping but yknow when you kinda wave your hand up and down parallel to your head? that.

taps her fingers together in patterns

taps her pens and twirls them a lot 

cleans her glasses when she gets nervous, she’s so anxious that they’re spotless 98% of the time

talks with her hands A LOT (this includes gesturing with objects, especially if she just forgets that she’s holding them) and tries to repress this a fair amount but if she’s comfortable around someone Get Ready For Hands

also constantly fidgeting with her hands 

hums when she’s alone!! very self-conscious about it 

external pressure can be very very bad but as a comfort she presses her head, especially when Wuh Oh Hell thoughts and headaches

also love the sad image of her hugging herself :)

when she was a kid she’d twirl her hair but as it got seen as immature she stopped and became very self-conscious about it

Lilith/post-hell

Lilith noticed but just repressed all of her physical impulses, no tapping, her reactions were so different, she didn’t fidget she was eerily still compared to Mary’s almost rabbit like nature 

if a single person ever really saw her they’d immediately know there was something wrong with Lilith’s “Mary,” her entire personality and style changed and again, her 

but when they end up reconciling ala AfM style? ish? it’s good cause Lilith knows all of her little ticks and signs and how to work with her. she can get her out of a trance gently and lets her ramble on and knows just how to soothe her anxiety 

I’m not even gonna get into the Trauma but I really love the idea that Lilith understands Mary in a very intimate way bc of their essentially shared body

once Mary comes back she sticks to her routines even more than previously, it’s the main thing that brings her comfort 

but jesus christ if her routines get interrupted at this point and if she’s stopped from completely delving into her work to distract herself from the nightmares? it gets bad

I wrote some angsty stuff last October uh but. Yea it gets bad 

she had migraines before, light sensitivity and all that, but wow it’s so much worse now

intrusive thoughts woah baby she’s got em! it feels like there’s screaming in her mind 

on a lighter note, she’s not a big rulebreaker but she will bend things a bit for students, especially if it’s related to any kind of research, Lilith’s support of this and WICCA and banned books etc was probably the least suspicious thing

like Mary would also sponsor that club, she admires Sabrina’s outspoken, bold nature and does see a bit of herself in her, but of course she’s so much more Out There than Mary ever was

‘a little something for each of you’ is something Mary would say while handing out her specially picked books for everyone but it would just be in a really sweet way instead of a Cackling Villain way. Theo is going to read Virginia Woolf no matter what 

they’re both deeply sincere but the differences are the ways in which they completely repress shit and hide the truth in what they say. again, if anyone ever really LISTENED they’d notice that Lilith is constantly saying Cackling Villain things and Mary’s actual emotions and thoughts which! she’s making very clear but no one pays attention! does this make any sense

did I mention she’s very self-conscious. she’s very self-conscious. Lilith’s practically the only person she can fully relax around, not focused on performing unless it’s purely for her own sake. there’s genuinely no point in pretending or tightly controlling her behavior and emotions cause she can read her completely. this doesn’t go entirely both ways but she can read Lilith better than anyone else (I think the lovely jyou-no-sonoko19 wrote the fic with the line ‘it’s my face I know the shapes it makes when I’m sad’ or something similar, that’s not what this is based on but it summarized that. so well)

also half of all of this is subconscious because I love the vaguely 1960s caos setting and love pain and horrible treatment of mental illness and any kind of ‘weird’ people /j

anyways! hope y’all enjoyed. I have. more. 

[nachotrash]

MORE INCORRECT QUOTES WITH MY MOOTS

ft: @catchmewiddershins @lilikags and @paradise-creator // no haikyuu boys this time

Pauline: No more making fun of me when I misuse dated cultural references, alright? Are we cowabunga on this? Wid, sighing: Fine. We're cowabunga.

------------------

Pauline: We're having a baby. Shiyu: Oh, congradu- Wid, slamming adoption papers onto teh table: It's you, sign here.

---------------

Pauline: Why are there little handprints all over the walls? Shiyu, whispering: Why are there little handprints all over the walls? Wid, whispering: Because I have little hands. Shiyu: Because they have little hands.

------------------

Wid: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.

--------------

Lili: Life keeps fucking me and I can't remember the safeword.

---------------

Wid: Pros and cons of dating me. Wid: Pros. You'll be the cute one. Wid: Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-

(cons. you're the smart one😔)

----------------

Shiyu: Sure, you're verified on twitter, but are you verified in the eyes of god?

-------------

Pauline: Theater kids are just choir kids who joined forces with the band and strings kids.

-------------

Shiyu: Did you just call me a shrimp, you asshole?! I'm still growing, dammit!

(*lipbites in 166 cm*)

--------------

Wid: I don't dab. I stab.

(nOw WhEarE HAvE i SeEn ThIs BeFoRe)

----------------

Shiyu: I scare people a lot because I walk very softly and they don't hear me enter rooms. So when they turn around, I'm just kind of there and their fear fuels me.

(t-pose to assert dominance)

---------------

Shiyu, as a child, reading their school assignment out loud: I love my library because... Shiyu, mouthing words while writing: I love reading, fuck you.

(lmao baby nacho really be bold)

--------------------

Shiyu: The ‘how the fucks’ and 'why are you so dumbs’ don’t matter. All that matters is that I have a new gun.

------------------

Lili: It's not ugly, just aesthetically challenged.

----------------

Pauline: The last time I went to an urgent care clinic, I checked off 'excessive crying' on the symptom list, and then the nurse got really confused and said that was meant for babies.

--------------

Pauline: All of your existences are confusing. The Squad: How so? Pauline: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to any of you upsets me.

(we are the squad now)

---------------

Lili: Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer extortion. The X makes it sound cool.

---------------

Wid: Real life should have a fucking search function, or something. Wid: I need my socks.

------------------

Pauline: New year, same me. Because I'm perfect.

(yes yes you are how dare you)

------------

Shiyu: Yeah I'm LGBT. Shiyu: cuLt leader. Shiyu: God hates me personally. Shiyu: cowBoy hat. Shiyu: *sniffles* Trying my best.

(my asexual ass be like;)

-------------

Wid: *plays shreksophone* Wid: Woo. Wid: Time to listen to this on loop for all eternity. Shiyu: ...Genius coping mechanism my friend

---------------

Shiyu: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated. Pauline: Killed without hesitation.

----------

Pauline: The next time I open up to someone, it'll be my autopsy.

---------------

Pauline: Sometimes, I don’t realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.

-----------------

Pauline: I hate Lili. Shiyu: "Hate' is a strong word. Pauline: I have strong opinions.

(oh no)

----------

Wid: How does that even work? Shiyu, mocking them: hOw dO yOu UsE a cOmPUteR aNd KnOw wHaTS GoiNg oN iT DoEsNt mAke SeNSe?! Wid: Your face doesnt make sense.

(...fair enough)

------------

Pauline: Get in, loser, we’re committing vehicular manslaughter!

-----------

Pauline: My stomach growled super loud in French. Pauline: I would like to clarify, my stomach did not speak in French. It growled during French class. Shiyu: Bonjour. Lili: Le growl. Wid: Hon hon hon, feed me a baguette.

(reminds me of the 'ill speak french between your legs' tumblr legend and im wheezing)

------------------

Shiyu: *tapping fingers on table* Lili: *taps fingers back furiously* Wid: …What’s going on? Pauline: Morse code. They’re talking. Shiyu: -.-- ..- .-. / - …. . / -.-. ..- - . … - Lili: *slams hands on table* YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

-----------------

Shiyu: For self defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to act wisely. Wid, Lili, & Pauline: Okay. Shiyu: If you don't want to die, give me all your money. Wid: Bold of you to assume I have money. Lili: Bold of you to assume I don't want to die. Pauline: Bold of you to assume I can die.

(pauline is a goddess. goddesses cant die)

------------------

Lili: If I punch myself and it hurts, am I weak or strong? Wid: Strong. Shiyu: Weak. Pauline: An idiot, is what your are.

(as long as you dont flinch or scream youre strong. unless you get punched in the gut by someone like ushijima ofc)

--------------------

Shiyu: Those darn tall old people. Wid: Darm em' indeed. Pauline: Don't worry, they'll be gone soon enough. Lili: *sharpening knife* Yes. Dead. The Squad: Lili: Hahaha. Lili: ...Is this self-destructive behaviour?

-----------------

Wid: Oh god, they texted you ‘hi.’’ punctuation only means one thing, Pauline. They're mad at you. Pauline: No, it's Shiyu. They're just being gramatically correct! *meanwhile* Shiyu: And then I used a period so they'd know that I'm mad at them. Lili: A period doesn't say 'I'm mad', it says 'you're dead to me'. Shiyu: I stand by my choice.

------------------

Wid: What do we think of Shiyu? *pause* Lili: *sighs* Nice pal. Pauline: I think they're gay.

=------------

Wid: Where is Shiyu? Pauline: I'll do you one better, who is Shiyu?? Lili: Here's a better question, why is Shiyu?

(i dont know man. ive been trying to figure it out for the last few years)

--------------

Wid: On the count of three, what’s your favorite cake? Wid & Lili: One, two, three- Wid & Lili: Chocolate cake, peanutbutter frosting, and chocolate chunks! Shiyu: Our turn, Pauline! One, two, three- Shiyu: Vanilla! Pauline: I’ve never had cake before. What is cake?

----------------

Pauline: I am darkness. I am an power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am- Wid: A doll. Shiyu: A cinnamon roll. Lili: A sweetheart. Pauline: Pauline: ...stop it.

(cant deny the truth bby)

---------------

Wid, Pauline & Shiyu: *screaming* Lili: *runs into the room* What's wrong, Shiyu?! Wid: Wait, why are you asking Shiyu that when Pauline and I are also here? Lili: Because Shiyu wouldn't scream unless it's an emergency. You two scream whenever you have the chance.

(i mean... its true )

-----------------

Pauline: What’s wrong? You look 10 seconds away from ripping someone’s throat out. Wid: Fucking Shiyu and Lili were trying to invoke one of the minor gods again last night. I didn't get an ounce of sleep, thanks to their bloody chanting.

(manifests dvalin cause i wanna ride on their back and fall off)

-------------------

Lili: Wake me up- Wid: Before you go go Shiyu: When September ends Pauline: WAKE ME UP INSIDE

(cant wake up- WAKE ME UP INSIDE)

--------------------

Shiyu, watching Pauline & Lili panic : What's going on? Wid: Pauline is having a midlife crisis and Lili is just having a crisis.

--------------

Lili: *Gasp* Pauline: wHAT?? Lili: What if soy milk is just milk introducing itself in Spanish? Pauline: *inhales* Wid, in another room with Shiyu: Why can I hear screeching?

(shiyu: same shit different day)

----------------------------

Shiyu: Christmas is cancelled. Wid: You can't cancel a holiday. Shiyu: Keep it up, Wid, and you'll lose New Year's too. Wid: What does that mean? Shiyu: Lili, take New Year's away from Wid.

--------------------

Pauline: So, are they your friend or... Lili: They’re like Wid, but if Wid was ordered to be around you. Pauline: Oh, so Shiyu. Lili: Precisely!

(if its about how annoyed i always look then you ahve a point)

----------------

Wid: You’re just being paranoid. Again. Pauline: When have I been paranoid? Wid: Um, when you first met Lili you thought they were an undercover cop…? Pauline: No one has a wart that big, I thought it was a surveillance camera! Wid: And last year you were sure Shiyu was a mermaid! Pauline: They hate wearing shirts! COINCIDENCE?! *Later, when Pauline’s theory is proven wrong* Wid: Do you have anything to say for yourself? Pauline: I still think Shiyu is a mermaid.

(id gladly be one)

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*Wid drunkenly wanders around the manor and Lili is drunkenly giggling* Shiyu, completely sober: *sighs* Well, looks like it's just me and you against the wold, Pauline. Pauline, going to their room: Nope, just you. *shuts door*

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Wid: We need to distract these guys. Lili: Leave it to me. Lili: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss. Pauline & Shiyu: *immediately begin arguing*

(*pulls out dictionary*)

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Police: You’re under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single motorcycle. Shiyu, with Wid and Lili behind them: Wait, what do you mean THREE?! Police: Yes…three. Shiyu: Oh, my God— What the fuck!? Police: Wha- Shiyu: Pauline FUCKING FELL OFF!

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Wid: What is love? Pauline: An emotional minefield. Shiyu: A neurochemical reaction. Lili: Baby don't hurt me.

(BECAUSE FUCK EMOTIONS)

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Pauline: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no idea what to put in them. Any suggestions? Wid: Put spaghetti in it. Pauline: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you. Lili: Put spaghetti in it. Pauline: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you two. Shiyu: Put spaghetti in it. Pauline: I am no longer taking suggestions.

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Shiyu, pointing to the wall: What color is this? Pauline: Gray. Lili: Grey. Shiyu, turning to Wid: Now tell them what color you think it is. Wid: Dark white.