#it’s an irritating example of ‘i don’t like this popular thing so it must be everyone and everything else that’s wrong’

[jettreno]

I assume it’s bc of the tv show but I’ve seen a couple posts randomly dunking on the last of us but for such dumb reasons. “I want to play lighthearted silly games instead of grimdark ones” “I want to play games that are more inextricable from the video game medium, games that are less cinematic” the good news is that those games exist! the last of us is in fact only two games out of the countless video games out there, so I would recommend not playing them if you don’t want to

[siryouarebeingmocked]

SYABM comic 70 “Donation Aggravation”.

[ Older comics | Chronological order | Subreddit ]

Some people get really mad about a computer asking them to give pennies.

AP says this meme is false.

Customer donations aren’t income, legally. So they can’t be ducked from the company’s tax bill.

Tax Policy Center says the same thing, and points out that consumers forget to deduct their donations.*

This meme was apparently popularized by, of course, TikTok.

Also, if they get a tax break, so what? 

The point of that is to encourage charity and social benefit. If you care more about the tax break than whether they’re actually helping anyone, I think your priorities are skewed.

And getting a tax break means the company has more money to spend on stuff like...the charity. Or employee raises. Or just staying open.

I know the implication is that they must be insincere, but it doesn’t actually prove anything. It’s just point-scoring.

I recently saw people complaining that Panda Express falsely takes the credit for their charity, which is entirely funded by donations from customers and employees. PE Cares openly and explicitly says so on their website.

PE also covers the admin costs for PEC. All of them.

And as someone pointed out, they could just as easily...not have the charity. In fact, it would be easier.

Heck, during the Hawaii Wildfires, PE donated meals to first responders and displaced people. And, oh yes, they matched donations to the Red Cross.

...It’s a “Cancel” button. 

Those are often different from regular choices, so people don’t click them accidentally. Heck, sometimes they’re made that way so they’re easier to see.

No 5D chess subliminal messages required.

And if you’re so easily influenced that a button color can change your mind, that’s on you.

“Saying your assumptions about us are wrong are gaslighting, even when I have no actual evidence  I am also confident that everyone does this, which justifies my assumption that any given company does this.”

It’s especially irritating because gaslighting is about perception. But assumptions are not actual perceptions, and perceptions are wrong all the time.

I also saw people in the Youtube comments complaining about grocery store food waste, because apparently stores love to waste money, and are not influenced by picky consumers or legal concerns (PDF).

I’ve argued with these types before, and naturally, they defaulted to attacking me instead of my argument. Didn’t even pretend to have any actual evidence. Unlike me. Just doubled down.

And, again, what does this have to do with charity?

Plenty of companies actually, quietly donate everything to charity that they can. But that doesn’t make the news as much. Sometimes because that leads to people trying to take advantage.

Incidentally, during the Texas blackout a few years back, one grocery store tried to donate their food to a charity. Except it was physically impossible for them to get there before the food expired, due to the bad weather.

People saw the store throw out the ruined food (under police guard), and said the store was selfish.

One Youtube comment said the Bible claimed people shouldn’t give openly. Okay, but that’s about self-aggrandizement and egotism, not just asking for donations and trying to set an example for others, out of actual caring.

I think the real motive is a combination of anti-corporate NPC hate, and the desire to attack the requester instead of admitting they just don’t want to donate.

And I gotta wonder what the overlap is with the folks who insist billionaires can “easily” afford to pay taxes that are more than what many people make in their entire lives, because it’s a small amount relative to their total wealth.

* Did see someone once claim that people pay higher taxes for donating. They may have been referring to people not knowing they can deduct donation. Which is, um, not the company’s fault. At all.

Behind the Scenes: This is the first comic drawn in Krita that I’ve animated. In fact, it’s my first Krita animation, ever.

And unfortunately for me, Krita can’t animate Vector layers or groups. I only figured that out after a literal hour looking up tutorials (which didn’t help). And it’s a tad irritating, because I often use vector layers AND groups.

So I had to manually create each frame. Three different elements with three different timings. Had to break out the paper and pencil and plot it out.

Kinda fun, actually.

This is also the first commentary in a long time that I didn’t write before I finished the comic. In fact, I’m doing it completely raw. All I had was the saved image and a link to the Youtube thread in question.

Comic Inspirations:

That one freakout scene in Bocchi the Rock.

The kiosks at my local McDonald’s.

Whatever this is;

[hi-there-buddies]

So dragon ball and dragon ball z is my childhood I watched half of it without understanding anything because it was not translated to my language (my older brother had to endure my constant questions when we were watching it) and I loved it! I loved the characters, I loved the plot, I loved every outfit Bulma ever had, I wanted to learn how to fly and all that ( I was 7 years old). I also loved that later I got my hands on subtitles in my language.

With time I moved on and started enjoying different fandoms and although db was always in my heart I never wandered into the fandom, never saw what was going on.

This week I got a little sick and suddenly got a lot of free time. Somehow led by nostalgia i revisited dragon ball and (after the initial warm feeling of my childhood) got so irritated. I just kept reading some takes on Goku and thought to myself "man, was I really such a bad judge of character" and decided to rewatch dbz. I'm not finished yet but my views from all those years ago didn't really change and Goku is still my favourite.

Anyway I wrote all of this to tell you that I agree with a lot of your opinions and I'm thankful that you are uploading them on the internet. You don't have to answer this but just know that you are now Defender of my childhood ❤️❤️

I feel the exact same way!!! Dragon Ball was my childhood too, and when I grew up I saw a lot of people saying it was actually bad and that everyone who liked it was blinded by nostalgia. Naturally, as a young teen I thought that I was one of those people, and compared to Naruto and Bleach, it wasn’t good at all. I just went with the most popular opinion because I thought “if this many people are thinking it, it must be true, right? It’s only popular because of nostalgia, the other shonen are much better”

Fast forward a few years later and I decided to rewatch Dragon Ball from OG to Z, and wow, I was so wrong for just going along with the public opinion. Because Dragon Ball is good!! It’s so fun and cool and satisfying, and I know it’s not nostalgia, because I’ve seen people who have never watched Dragon Ball before watch the entire series, and adore it!

I think people say that it pales in comparison to other Shonen because Dragon Ball is very subtle with its emotions. It doesn’t have a lot of flashbacks like Naruto, it doesn’t have a huge character roster like One Piece, and it doesn’t have incredibly thought out story lines like Bleach. But that’s not because Dragon Ball lacks any deeper meaning, it just finds a more natural way to convey feelings and emotions.

A really good example of this subtlety is Gohan’s PTSD. And when I say that, I don’t mean him striking Great Saiyaman poses that he got from the Ginyu force. I mean his PTSD during the Saiyan to Cell saga, and the constant nightmares he had. These aren’t one off things, either. He’s had at least 4 of them throughout the show. But he doesn’t dwell on them, so the audience doesn’t. But these nightmares illustrate one of the Gohan hates about himself: he’s always letting everyone down. This is stated explicitly in his beam struggle with Goku before going SSJ, but it didn’t come out of nowhere. It was just (say it with me) subtle

Not saying DB is better than any other shonen btw. It’s actually not even my favorite one, but I’d say it’s at least on par with the big three.

I’ll always defend Dragon Ball❤️

[thornilee013]

WIP Wednesday

Time to pick up @/kedreeva 's game again this week!

Did I finish last week's yet? No. Do I still crave more excuses to write? Of course.

Anyway, rules:

It’s WIP Wednesday, time for a little accountability, sharing your work, and getting a kick in the pants.

Here’s how it works:

In a reblog of this post (so people can find you in the notes) or new thread (w/ rules attached) if you want to play on your own, post up to five (5) filenames of your WIPs; not titles, file names.

Post a snippet from one of them. Snippet must be words you wrote in the last 7 days. We’re posting progress here. If you haven’t made any, go make some and come back to play!

After you’ve posted, people can send you an ask with one of your file names. You must then write 3 sentences in that file. If the filename is one you can't share from (for example, an event or gift fic), write 3 sentences on it anyway, and then 3 more on another to share.

That’s it! You can invite others to join in, or just post. I’ll be searching the reblogs to find people to send asks to!

If you’re reading this, you’re invited!

If you see someone posting a WIP Wednesday Game snippet, send them an ask! Make them write.

***PLEASE SEND IN THINGS. THIS IS LITERALLY THE HIGHLIGHT OF MY WEEK. YOU MAY ALWAYS SEND IN MULTIPLE REQUESTS TO ME!***

Here is what I have to offer this week:

1. Silly Little Jean Moreau Fic 2. Baby Jean 3. Dealer's Choice (aka I work on RBB project and then another random project) 4. Needle AU (CW: mentions of self harm, wound infections, and stalking) 5. 101 Ways Not to Say I Do

MASTERPOST

Snippet from Silly Little Jean Moreau Fic below the cut!

Jeremy shrugged. “It’s what my parents listened to when I was a kid, so I think part of it is nostalgia. Sometimes they play lesser known music from then too, which is always really fun. If you don’t like it we can listen to something else, though.”

“I can’t remember enough about it to have an opinion,” Jean said, searching his memories of his childhood for any hints of what music they’d listened to in the car or what he’d searched out. All he could remember were a few songs that were popular that he’d thought were irritating, and he felt his eyebrows furrowing in frustration. That frustration only deepened as he saw Jeremy’s face grow more and more concerned.

Jean took a deep breath as they approached Jeremy’s car and reminded himself of what Kevin had said to him; how he’d get to discover and experience completely new things. It was time to focus less on what had been lost to time and trauma and create new memories. “I guess we’ll have to find out if I like it or not,” he said, offering Jeremy a small smile, which Jeremy mirrored.

[long-live-astronerd-ghost-king]

Many thanks to everyone who defended the authors' right to write a fanon.

'If you don't like it, don't use it?'Lol. Well, we don’t use those parts of the canon that are not interesting to us. How about if you don't like it, don't read it then? Try it, it might be cool.

Jedipirateking, Frankly, I would have simply ignored this divergence in our tastes. But honestly, this whole fight in comments and reblogs is rude, yes. I don't care at all if you want to debate in one of my posts.It's always cool to hear someone else's opinion but you seem to find some satisfaction in your supposed superiority. I wish you all the best, but wasting time trying to prove something to a person who is not going to listen is simply pointless. This applies to both sides. You have one life, don’t waste it on such unworthy things. If you don’t like what most authors write then just make more content yourself. You don’t look rude because you want to use the canon, only because you think that everyone must do it too.

I don’t think a stranger’s opinion means anything to you, and believe me, I feel the same way. But just to respect the time of those people who spent time defending my interests, I can’t help but put in my two cents.

You really have interesting thoughts but try somehow not to consider your opinion the only correct one. I don't want to block you because you know a lot of interesting things about the fandom but a more sensitive person might actually be hurt that you're so desperate to make him understand his thoughts a bullshit. Try to be gentler in educating people, please.

Where is the law prohibiting us from writing a story with ready-made characters the way we want? For example, I’m not a fan of Batman x Joker but I would never shame those who write about it. I think the character would never do this so I don't write about it. But that doesn't mean another writer shouldn't do it.  If you want the canon to be used more often, the best thing you can do is write more about it yourself so that your thoughts become popular.

Readers are good at avoiding things that irritate them. Try it too maybe. If some things are a trigger for me, I just close a page but I never write comments on ao3 or here about how mad it makes me. I remain happy and an author remains happy that he receives a response from people who share his opinion. Criticism is also a wonderful thing but it shouldn't sound like hate.

~~~~~~

A good knowledge of a canon is a thing that’s always impressive but it’s not a canon. Some people just like overpowered characters. So? We all have favorites.

Fanfiction is made to give as ability to do what is not possible in the original story. I don’t care what laws the DC universe operates under. In this corner of Tumblr I am the Ancients and the Creator in one person.

You want to see a good rationale for the characters? Write it. Even in a reblog. Obviously you know a lot and have a good writing style and read your version will be wonderful. But don’t make other people think that they must put their life to know all about fandom before making fun prompts. Because that’s not how it works.  There’s nothing more beautiful than getting to know your favorite characters gradually. Newcomers have the right to participate, not look from the outside for a year when their knowledge is good enough for them to do it. Also some people just do not like canon and want to change it, so what? Maybe I admire some characters but not the world around them. This is fine.

Your comments are cool and helpful, but they go with "bullshit" and other not nice notes. I don’t think you were trying to be really rude, but your way of conveying your thoughts didn’t seem very polite, no offense.

Who made the law that prevents me from considering the Infinite Realms as the Kingdom of all the dead?

One alien? Yeah, it’s like there’s no dead Kryptonians in the Infinite Realms. Clark is not special. (But Danny and Dan are special for me.) If the boy could fight Pariah Dark using amplifiers, and Dan could subdue Fright Knight who served this Tyrannical King without them, then even if Snyder himself told me that Phantom would not defeat Superman, I would be a wall from a meme where dude trying to explain something to it. That's how simping works. His the best for me no matter what.

Also, I swear I didn’t mean that it would be easy for Dark Phantom to get rid of Superman. (even if I keep thinking about a possibility of a fusion with Clockwork for this mission). A long battle? Of course. Casualties? Sure. But when Superman kills Valerie, the last connection to his past self, Dan's just explodes with rage.

Maybe in the DC universe ghosts are some kind of magic users but I reserve the right to consider this a convergent evolution, nothing more. Not everything that is not subject to the laws of physics is magic.

If I wanted to, I could write that Danny called his asian uncle Xie Lian and he came and beat a Kryptonian with a stick while Hua Cheng and Phantom cheered, you know? And this would be quite canonical for the fandom he comes from but it is unlikely that you would be happy with such an opportunity either.

I’m not going to be ashamed of myself for making characters different from the original story. Of course, there are boundaries that I’m not willing to cross too but I’m certainly not going to tell other people that he should do the same thing.

~~~~~~

I must confess that, as a person who thinks Jason is my lil meow meow, I was the most perplexed by the comment that Batarang wasn’t Batman's. If we’re not going to ignore Clark’s power limit in my another post then let’s not give all the credit to Damian.

Batman: Under the Red Hood comic book exist. And the Batman: Three Jokers exist too. Not all Bruce versions are good. Was he trying to kill him? No, I don't think so. But this Batman done something worse than killing. He preferred the Clown to his boy. Not all Jasons can have WFA!Bruce and be happy.

Whether you’ve studied anatomy or not doesn’t really matter, any sane person knows that a human who bleeds from a neck can die in seconds or in minutes. Seriously, arterial bleeding, pulsatile! bleeding, is the most serious type that looks like a fountain, and how hard it is to stop it from a large vessel on a neck just can’t be said.

What's even worse, in the venous vessels of the neck, the pressure is lower than outside the body. So when the wound occurs, the air enters the brain vessels and clogs them. Within seconds, death comes.

Whatever how first-rate Batman’s skills are, there was no guarantee that Todd would survive the incident if the comic book obeyed the laws of normal physiology.

Batman doesn’t kill? Batman is one of the best DC heroes, but he’s not perfect, he’s not a saint. There are different versions of Bruce, and that’s why I love and hate this character at the same time.

Superman was the only reason why Batman didn’t avenge Robin’s death (Batman: A Death in the Family). And Batman actually does kill the Joker in Injustice: Gods Among Us: Year Three.

~~~~~

No offense, but talking about "this dude can’t be stronger than this one because yada yada" is completely pointless, at least because it's a fanfiction. It’s not math where you really need to justify that you're not mad if 2-7=15. We’re all here to have fun, right? It’s always cool to have an ability to explore different scenarios. >:)

DPXDC prompt. Dead on main.

Okay, Danny’s revenge for Jason through the Joker murder is fine.

But imagine the wrath of the Ghost King who responds to a call for help from his boyfriend and finds Red Hood with his throat cut and bleeding. Aside from it, there’s a bloody batarang on the roof. And it just pisses the Phantom off. Bat just left main treasure of his core to die.

Danny is still terrified even when Frostbite confirms that Jason will survive. Dan’s future is still fresh in his memory. That’s probably why when the councilman takes him off hospital ward duty to clarify what His Majesty wants as the guarantor of the Peace Treaty with demon race and what price to set for summons from cults Danny answers without a second thought.

Phantom: Batman.

Ghost: From a cult, Your Majesty?

Councillors have long been accustomed to Phantom giving strange requests so that people would not have the opportunity to really summon him.

Phantom: From the cult, from demons, ghosts or elves. Whatever. I need Batman and I need him yesterday. I give any reward to whoever delivers him to me, the price will be fair.

Ghost: Your word is our command.

~~~~~

In Gotham it’s 4 AM when Constantine is calling an emergency Justice League meeting.

'What did you do, Bats?' Shazam asks with undisguised concern.

~~~~~

Bonus points if Jason has to teleport himself directly to the JL space station and stop his feral lover from murder. Yeah, this is definitely not how he planned to reveal who was hiding under the Red Hood.

[peternelthorpe]

New Mum Gift Ideas

New Post has been published on https://smallgiftideas.org/new-mum-gift-ideas/

New Mum Gift Ideas

New Mum Gift Ideas

If you want to gift something special to a new mum, here are some ideas to consider. These gifts will make her feel loved and appreciated.

New moms often don’t have time to relax and pamper themselves. A gift card to a spa will be well received.

Personalized Jewelry

If you’re looking for an elegant new mum gift idea, personalized jewelry is the perfect choice. It can be engraved with a name or a message that will last forever, and it can be customized to match any style.

Personalized jewelry is also ideal for gifting during special occasions, such as a birthday, Valentine’s Day or wedding. You can also design a piece that features the recipient’s birthstone so they can wear it every day.

From engravable name necklaces and bracelets to charm bracelets, you can personalize a gift with names or a photo that means something special to the receiver. You can even design a keepsake box for your gift so they can always keep it safe and secure.

You can find a wide range of personalized jewelry for moms at JoyAmo. These gorgeous items are crafted by artisans to provide a high-quality, personalized look that will be sure to impress.

A dazzling name necklace is a great way to show your new mum how much you love her, and you can get them engraved with her first name or a meaningful phrase like “Mama” or “I love you.” These necklaces come in rose gold and silver with an assortment of lettering options, including octagon, halo and bar. You can also pair a personalized name ring with a hoop earring for a luxe layering look.

Stackable mother’s rings are another new mum gift idea that can be engraved with her children’s initials or birthstones. They’ll look beautiful with her other jewelry and they’re a perfect way to start a family tradition.

A Cozy Robe

A cozy robe is the perfect gift for any new mom, whether she’s looking for something practical to wear around the house, or something that’s a little more glam. The perfect robe is lightweight, breathable, and sexy — and most importantly, it should feel good against her skin, says fashion stylist Heather Newberger.

For example, if you’re searching for a robe that’s comfortable enough to lounge in but also looks sophisticated, opt for a silk one. It’s a popular choice, because it’s soft, breathable, and won’t absorb moisture like cotton.

On the other hand, if you’re looking for a warmer option that feels like a big hug, a plush fleece-lined one is ideal. It comes in five shades, and reviewers say it’s fluffy, lightweight, and the best thing ever if you’re cold.

This hooded robe isn’t just for lounging; it’s also perfect for breastfeeding. It has a hood that’s designed to keep the baby warm, and it’s lined with a chamois-like material that’s soft against her skin.

The brand also has a great collection of nursing covers, which are a must-have for any new mum who wants to breastfeed in public without worrying about her baby getting cold or irritated. This hooded cover is lightweight, fast-drying, and comes in a variety of cute prints to choose from, so she’s sure to find a color that’s right for her.

Finally, a sculptural linen robe with patch pockets is recommended by Charlotte Stone, the founder of shoe label. It’s “three-quarter-length,” which Stone thinks is the perfect amount of coverage, and she loves the oversize pocket. She’s also drawn to the “soft, lightweight, breathable” fabric and the fact that it’s not too thick.

A Framed Photo

If you’re looking for a thoughtful gift for the new mum in your life, a framed photo is the perfect choice. She’ll love having a special photo of herself with her baby on display and it will help her cherish the memories for years to come.

A framed photo is also a great option if you’re trying to find a gift that can be personalized with her initials, name or special dates. You can choose from a variety of styles, including a wooden puzzle frame and a floral design.

Another option is a framed quote from her favorite book or poem. If you’re a bit creative, you could hand-write the quote or find a local designer to create an attractive digital print.

You can even get a professional photographer to take some family photos and create a stunning picture for her. These can be framed and hung in her home to bring a smile to her face every time she walks in the door.

Alternatively, you can also give her a picture of her and her son or daughter in a fun maternity shoot. These pictures will capture her journey as a new mother and will make her feel so proud.

You can make a pretty framed frame using colorful painted stripes. Mask off the fronts of both glass panes with painter’s tape, then dip a foam roller in glass paint ($9, Walmart). Apply the glass paint in stripes and let dry before placing the glass panes into the floating frame. It will be a wonderful piece of art for mom to hang up in her bedroom or living room.

A Smart Mug

If you’re looking for a gift idea that’s practical and also feels special, a smart mug is a great choice. These gadgets use Bluetooth to control beverage temperature, allowing you to keep your coffee or tea warm for hours on end without having to microwave it.

Most of these mugs come with a built-in battery or a mug warmer to help keep your drink at a consistent, desired temperature. Some even have app controls and intelligent auto shut-off features that make them extra efficient.

While most of these mugs need to be hand-washed due to their sensitive electronics, some are dishwasher-safe. Some also feature removable liners, making them easier to clean.

The Ember smart mug is one of the better options we’ve seen, with automatic sleep mode that turns off the internal heating mechanism after two hours. The mug also wakes up on its own as soon as it senses liquid inside and a programmable LED light to tell you the status of your drink.

This mug also has a coaster-style charging plate that helps it stay warm and comes in multiple colors to match your home decor. It can be used as a traditional coffee mug, or it can heat your drink while you work on the go, using a built-in battery and warming coaster to keep drinks hot for up to four hours. It’s a budget-friendly option that’s simple to use and comes with a one-year warranty if purchased from the manufacturer’s website.

A Dainty Ring

A dainty ring can be a great gift idea for the new mum in your life. It can be engraved with a special message or a date, and will remind her of the beautiful day she gave birth to her precious baby.

A ring that can be worn on her ring finger is ideal, and you can even add a pair of stud earrings to go with it. If you want to make the ring stand out, choose a gemstone with a strong color such as a regal sapphire or classic red ruby. Or consider adding a baguette stone for a unique look.

It’s also important to choose a metal that will be able to withstand wear and tear. Ideally, you would opt for platinum or white gold as these will be sturdy and durable.

For a more affordable option, sterling silver can be an excellent choice as it is more resistant to wear and tear than other metals. Alternatively, you can opt for 14-karat gold, which is more expensive but will last a long time.

When choosing a ring, it’s also essential to look for a design that suits her lifestyle and taste. This is especially true for a delicate style of ring, so you should pick one that she can easily wear every day and that won’t be too difficult to clean.

Another great option for a dainty ring is a stacking ring, which has become a popular jewelry trend. These rings are easy to wear and don’t catch on anything, so they’re a great option for the new mum in your life. They’re available in a variety of styles and are affordable, too.

[communistkenobi]

Do you think andor stans are pretentious? I'm seeing people calling them that more and more. I know some are annoying but every star wars fan is annoying imo.

the most beloved past time of star wars fans is bitching, and andor has provided us with an extremely productive frontier from which to do so. I’ll just agree and say that yeah sure it’s pretentious, because I don’t think trying to like logically refute that is a good use of time.

I think part of the reason why the “andor is better than the rest of star wars” sentiment is so popular (beyond the subjective enjoyment of it as a superior show) is that andor has a completely fresh take on star wars, one that is deeply connected with the “guts” of star wars canon, and its presence in the canon is making people go “wait we could have had this kind of Star Wars content all along?” and then rage at the rest of the franchise for not being andor.

It’s sort of hard to describe why it feels this way (at least in short form lol), but like I think the main difference between andor and the “traditional” star wars show is that andor is taking the canon extremely seriously. not in a strict factual manner, but in the sense of like, okay how does the empire operate? what is its internal structure like? How does it respond to rebel attacks? What impact does that have on civilian populations?

These of course are not new questions (I think SW Rebels for example does a decent job of exploring these things), but it feels different. To use the mandalorian as a counter example, take the tracking fobs the guild hands out. These are simple devices that provide location data for targets. They make the plot go forward. Easy and simple. But like, I don’t think that would fly in a show like andor. Not only on a technical sense (how tf do you get sub-metre accurate positional data on another person who is dozens of solar systems away, frequently on fringe planets that do not have global satellites?) but also in a sociological sense - if this technology is available, how else is it used? Who else uses it? What kind of society produces this kind of technology? I think andor pushes audiences to think of these silly little gadgets as technologies of power. It must always be considered in its ability to oppress people and its role in structuring society. The infrastructure required to make something as simple as those tracking fobs work is itself a commentary on the state of the galaxy. And these questions are multi-scalar - if something as simple as a tracking fob can provide extremely accurate, unrestricted data on virtually any person in the galaxy, where do those data come from? Where are those data being held? Who controls those datasets? Why are these data being collected?

I think andor most excels at attending to the bureaucratic and administrative elements of the empire. “The Empire” is not a literal physical thing that you can point to and say it exists, it’s a collection of people and equipment and buildings and processes and laws and ideas. You see proof of the state in andor every time a database is queried, every time a criminal record is made, every time a security contract for another planet is secured. a person could go their entire life without seeing a star destroyer and still know the empire is very much real. It’s literally doing “we live in a society” shit with star wars. It approaches star wars not at the level of individual characters but at the level of systems, as a process of history that you are watching unfold, and that history is being told through the lens of people experiencing it.

This is sort of drifting off topic, so to circle back - I think andor is demonstrating the power of star wars canon in a way previously unconsidered, and people are (i think understandably) irritated that, for all the money and brain power and talent behind a lot of the other shows, we aren’t getting the same level of curiosity for this incredibly expansive fictional universe. I don’t think star wars always has to be this way, or even be this serious, but I think the recent narrative failures of the other shows (the mandalorian, kenobi, book of boba fett) demonstrate that star wars does not have to be about itself - you can explore the canon seriously and create stories from what already exists. You do not need to treat characters as saints or action figures, you do not need to flinch away from them showing vulnerability or humility or flaws. People will disagree that the shows I mentioned do this in the first place, but then they’re the people who say “you’re pretentious” to begin with, so in the immortal words of sun tzu. who give a shit

[accio-victuuri]

on light signs & fandom etiquette 🚥

one cpn and a whole lot of personal opinion. i want to write my thoughts about this topic. this is my least favorite thing to talk about as it touches on how people act which can’t be controlled both online and offline. to those who have no idea, it’s about some fandom drama during sdc finale live. this will be more on what i learned and observed. this whole post can be preachy and rant-y so beware. i just needed a place to reflect.

I’ll start with this exchange. It looks like Nathan Lee was asking Bobo if the light sign was his. What it means. Fans are saying it’s because the color is yellow that Nathan was not sure. He must know in a way that “Bo” could be equal to Yibo. Or maybe not. Then you see Yibo explaining yes it’s his. Bo. Yibo.

then hangeng comes in to explain as well and back yibo up then stops him. as if to make the conversation end, less he says more — this part is cpn. to me this is an interesting exchange because yibo clearly owns up to the light sign. it’s his. i have never doubted that bobo knows there are cpfs out there and he appreciates us, tho he cannot say it in the open. we understand. we always did.

There are videos out there of 🏍 vs. turtles. confiscated bjyx green and red light signs. in general, just the two fandoms shading each other. which are of course shared to the international audience. and well, you can take a guess which garbage dump app it’s popular in. I won’t go into the details because that’s not the point. This is not something new. there’s always been friction between cpf and solos. We know how toxic c-fandom is. Hell, even their government knows and they can’t do much about it. It’s the kind of thing i never understood and would never dream to emulate so i can fit in. sadly, lots of international fans adopt the “authentic” fandom behavior and are proud of it. wear it like a badge. there is only a handful who sees the whole c-fandom toxicity for the chaotic circus that it is and avoid copying it.

So, why are cpfs so hated? It’s because we shouldn’t exist. for a time it’s fine — but not this long. not this loud and prominent. brands love catering to solo fans/groups and even their companies do. it’s always been this way and not only in China. CPFs are considered a novelty, something that happens because of a project and are expected to fade when it ends. Also viewed as second-rate fans because their attention and support is split instead of giving their 100% to one artist. They ( artist and company ) can’t endorse and have an open bias to a CP because the artist must maintain the status of being single. An individual who can be paired up with anyone as needed. We are hated and considered a nuisance because we’re still here and thriving. Example, there were far more BJYX fan sites from last night’s event than solos. We still continue to show up. Support. We continue to stay relevant. I can understand the irritation from a toxic solo’s perspective and it gets worse if that person hates xiao zhan or yibo. To them, how dare we have the audacity to enjoy something. The nerve to spend our time and resources on a fandom that makes us happy. lol.

I personally don’t care who is better. Do you want the title of best yibo fan / best xiao zhan fan? sure. It’s yours. It’s theirs. I don’t need it. I’m here for the fun. The ( mostly ) stress free space I’ve created. zz/wyb is my happy place. That’s all I want.

CPFs are far from perfect. We’ve had our fair share of blunders and I personally have certain fandom personalities that I wish would just close their accounts. It is what it is. We can’t control each other’s behaviors. Some so/o pick a certain bad incident and that’s gonna be the way they look at us forever. Or they just go with the flow because it’s a sick pre requisite to hate on cpfs to get your so/o fandom loyalty card apparently. I will never understand wanting people to shut up just because you don’t like what they do. This is not some social justice issue. I like zz/wyb, you only like one of them. So? What’s the big deal. If you don’t like CP stuff then don’t seek us out. AND I CANNOT EMPHASIZE THIS ENOUGH TO CPFs, don’t bait them. Tag stuff properly. Please stop commenting CP things in obvious solo posts. This is why I stopped thinking about their opinion. Candies are for us and not them. We don’t need to convert them — that’s not the goal. At least to me ( the goal ) it’s to support the boys. Enjoy this fandom and try to keep away from drama.

Now the big question that’s related to SDC — Should CPFs bring their dolls and BJYX lights in solo events? My answer is Yes and No.

Yes because it’s their life and they can bring what they want. Bring 10 dolls, sure. For example the dolls lined up and taking photos @ GG’s ADLAD was seen by passer by as cute. Because it is. To those who don’t understand dolls and how it relates to fandom — just shut up please. Let people enjoy things. Some people enjoy drugs and being an asshole — then you have women who loves to bring their fandom dolls to events. to each their own. Even if it’s a “xiao zhan” character doll in an event that is for Yibo ( well it’s not just yibo, it’s SDC. people who watch the show are welcome ) , honestly. who the fuck cares. it’s a harmless non living thing. As for the light signs— sure, but I draw the line on trying to catch too much attention. They know unrelated light signs are not allowed so the rules should be followed. I’m sure the security and staff were only briefed about so/o light signs. No one is persecuting them. They know the rules. I know they have good intentions but we gotta be careful to not trouble Yibo.

No when it’s blatant baiting of so/os. some people really just love drama and will incite stuff. Also i’m not a fan of attention-seeking. Don’t shout BJYX at zz or wyb please. Don’t private message their friends or ask their co-stars about them. We are supposed to be low key about this. They know we exist — no need to beg for their attention.

I may be wrong about certain things that I just said but it’s all my personal opinion. At the end of the day, we will participate and act in this fandom with our own limits. I wish offline “fights” will be avoided in the future. We can all peacefully co exist by ignoring each other. 🙏🏼

-END.

[captnjacksparrow]

Why did Sasuke have sex with Sakura if he did not like her? He did horrible things to her and yet he made a baby with her so it means that he finds Sakura attractive. He is not that type of guy who would put his d just like that and I do not believe that he did not know about protection so he wanted a baby with Sakura.

To that Anon..... Who once asked me who is hornier, NaruHina or SasuSaku???.... And I told you my answer.... And if you are reading my post today... This ask is the literal proof for you!!!! Look at the proof of their Love.... 

God!!! I'm really uncomfortable talking about sex in an ask. Anyways, this will be my last time...

Disclaimer: The Word ‘Sex’ is used many times in this post. If you feel uncomfortable, please don’t read it.

Reasonable Answer:

The Studio forced Sasuke to do 'the thing'. That's all.

Prediction Based Answer:

Why do you think 'Having Sex' must always be related to attractiveness and romance????

Your question makes me doubt your Media Observing experience. I mean, maybe you are a 12 year old kid who never watched modern Movies other than Disney Stuffs.... 

Do you really think every sexual experience that everyone had so far was romantic????

Have you heard about 'One Night Stand'???? Or 'Casual Sex'??? Both of them were done just for experimenting... I mean horny teenagers get hormonal rage and they just do it and then forget about it. I'm sure you must have watched it in many Hollywood Movies. Popular Movie Example.... Iron Man... Tony Stark had wild sex with Christine Everhart for one-night but he never loved her or even remember that thing.

He is not that type of guy who would put his d just like that

Since you yourself had admitted that Sasuke is not that type of Guy... Surprisingly, I also agree with you on this, Anon.... So, can we safely eliminate One Night Stand and Casual Sex out of the possibilities?????

With that being said.....

There is something called 'Obligatory Sex'.... Like Back in those days, Kings cannot marry the girl they really loved. Because of Social Status. So, they marry a socially sound girl and make them into a Queen. Their purpose is solely for making Prince and Princess. They really won't share the same bed chambers because the King don't really love the Queen. But most of the Kings take their loved girl as their Beloved Concubine with whom they can share their true love in an honest way... Go and watch Historical Chinese and Korean Drama.... They are full of these themes. Or watch Game of Thrones Season 1...  The King, when he was trying to have sex with the Queen, he whispers his Beloved Girl’s name.... That irritated the queen... So the Queen went behind King’s back and had sex with her Br.... Sorry, some person and ended up having 3 kids.... What’s more?, She passed all those 3 kids as the King’s Children. The sex portrayed in this series are mostly either abusive, non-consensual... if it is romantic, it always ended up in a Tragedy, if it is an One-Timer, one of the partner will dump the other in the end..... or if it doesn't belong to any of the above, then it must be the sex that happens in Brothel House.

And there is something called 'Give and Take' Sex... Like having sex for one time, just as a favour. There is this Oscar Award Winning movie called 'Forrest Gump'... in which Tom Hanks mother have a one-time sex with a School Principal... Just for making her disabled kid to get admitted in his School.

And there is something called ‘Societal Pressure’ Sex... In Patriarchal Societies, such as mine, most of the marriages are Arranged Ones. So, Couple’s don’t really love each other in the beginning and they were forced to marry. And it’s this girl’s responsibility to bore a Baby within 10 months, otherwise, the Mother-In-Law or her Neighbours will pester that newly married girl.. .. And finally they consummate the marriage just for satiating her ‘New Found’ Family. Because Infertility thing will not be tolerated. This is how my Grandmom had her 5 kids... that is, without loving the Man she married. To this day, she still resents my Grandfather because she hates him for personal reasons. This is very common from where I come from.

And finally.... ‘Brokeback Mountain’ Sex.... Rather than me explaining it...You must watch this Oscar Award Winning movie. Oh, By the Way.... This movie was directed by Ang Lee from China... A place where homosexual contents in contemporary media were strictly banned and censored by their Government but they are the best in producing successful and soulful Shounen Ai novels...

He did horrible things to her

He never did anything horrible apart from rejecting her love advance... If she stayed quiet and remained non-horny in Chapter 693, he wouldn’t have put her in that Genjutsu. 

So, Stop making Sasuke as this monster just to portray your Kween as a Victim. She is the harasser in SS. 

I have given 2 Oscar Award Winning movies, 1 Most Emmy Award Winning TV series, Culturally similar TV series from China and Korea, 1 Blockbuster movie which gave rise to a Biggest Billion Dollar Franchise called MCU, Real Life Experience..... And yet here you are living in your la-la-land thinking that every Sex is based on Romance. Sasuke might have ‘did the deed’ based on any of the above... If he did as you said, that is, having Sex out of Attractiveness, he wouldn’t have abandoned her and Sarada for 12 years, he wouldn’t have asked her, “What are you doing here?” on seeing her face after a decade, he wouldn’t have refused to Kiss her.... The very natural response after seeing your beloved person is to Hug.... or atleast have a Brimming Smile. Sasuke did neither.

Please come to the real world instead of staying in your Colourful Disney World, Anon.

[blarrghe]

6 for the meet cute prompts for fenders 👀

Eyy! Fof @dadrunkwriting I think I may be in the wrong timezone but I'm not sure I'll actually have any more time tonight so I hope this counts.

Anyway Fenris and Anders have Organic Chemistry 😏😏😏

--

Fenris is good at things. Lots of them. Anders has noticed, he’s seen him around. He’s on at least two sports teams, and he teaches the martial arts class down at the campus gym. He’s friends with that loud jock, Garrette Hawke, but he’s a relatively quiet jock himself. Anders has never seen him at one of Merrill’s parties, though he has seen Hawke at them, for example. Never seen him at a more jockish party either, for that matter. Not that Anders goes to those, but he does sometimes volunteer with the walk-home service that the Safe Campus student union provides, so he has a good idea of who goes to popular parties. And Fenris doesn’t, because he sometimes volunteers with that service too, and always volunteers to escort students home to the farthest, roughest off-campus neighbourhoods, Anders has noticed.

Fenris is good at academic things too, Anders is pretty sure. They have a lot of classes together, and even if they’ve never spoken, Fenris is hard not to notice. He isn’t as vocal in their poli sci class as Anders is, but he finished writing his midterm before Anders did and smiled quietly to himself when the paper was returned the following week. He has a nice smile, Anders noticed. He scowls sometimes over his problem sets in their Calculus for the Life Sciences class, and his scowl is nice too, Anders has noticed, but on Blackboard his name is solidly in the middle of the class averages list — he’s going to write a scathing review of the prof on Rate My Professor for making that list public, but he does feel a little bit proud of being near the top of it. Anders is Pre-Med, and he never sleeps because of it, but he’s doing well in Biology and Organic Chem and Calculus and Psych 101, even if none of them make him feel quite the same burning passion as Poli Sci, but there’s no way his overwhelming sense of righteous purpose is going to let him switch majors into something unemployable. Maybe he’ll double-major. 

Fenris must be going after a kinesiology or sports medicine degree, he figures, because he’s not competitive or sleep deprived enough to be trying to be a doctor. Anders is sure he isn’t sleep deprived because he’s noticed his eyes, and the way they don’t have dark circles under them, and the fact that he has time to hang out with the likes of Garrett Hawke and teach martial arts. But Fenris is not an idiot, Anders is sure of that. He wouldn’t be here, standing next to Anders in their organic chem lab in a lab coat that matches his hair and goggles that only seem to accentuate the piercingness of his not-dark-circled eyes if he was. So why is he so fucking bad at balancing equations?

Anders frowns, looking over the messy chicken scratch of Fenris’ writing over their shared set of lab problems, and sets to work erasing and re-writing compounds.   

While he does this, Anders notices that Fenris is scowling. Scowling at him, even though if he hadn't just adjusted Fenris' measurements he's pretty sure their whole experiment would have just blown up. Sometimes Anders thinks that blowing up certain parts of the university wouldn't be such a bad idea, but he does really need to pass this class. 

It's a good scowl from afar, but up close and personal like this Fenris' unamused face is decidedly irritating. His eyes are too piercing and his lips are too pursed and the tattoos over the bridge of his straight, statuesque nose and swooping down over the point of his chiseled chin, then trailing away beneath the collar of his sharp white labcoat via a long, straight column of neck are distractingly glowy. It's weird, that he has glowy tattoos, weird that he has stark white hair and shiny emerald eyes and very, very weird that he is staring at Anders with them and scowling. 

"What?" he finally asks, cheeks feeling a little heated with irritation. 

"You’re in my poli sci class," says Fenris unhappily. Anders is in all his classes, actually, but perhaps he hasn't noticed. Anders is quite good at being unnoticeable, it's one of his specialties. 

"Yeah," he affirms, planting a scowl on his own face, flushed cheeks or not, "and?"

"You always argue with Professor Stannard." 

"Oh, yeah," Anders shrugs, "well, you know, she's a bitch." 

"You’re wrong." Fenris says decisively. 

Anders stares at him, he is most assuredly not wrong about that, or about anything he says in her class for that matter. "Meredith Stannard is definitely a bitch," he corrects with a dismissive head shake. 

Fenris seems to consider this seriously though, and his scowl almost seems to soften. There is maybe the faintest hint of a smirk picking up at the corner of it. "Not about that," he agrees. 

"Then about what?" Not chemistry, that's for certain. 

"Everything else." 

"Oh," Anders frowns. He didn't think Garrett Hawke, of all people, kept the company of that kind of jock. "Seriously?" 

Fenris just nods, but Anders is not about to let him get away with that statement so easily. He engages the elf in debate. Perfectly healthy, possibly a little heated, maybe bordering on explosive, debate. 

By the time that the TA comes over to their table with a disappointed scowl of her own, their faces are very close. And Anders', at least, is also very hot. Also his palms are sweating and his heart is somewhere in his throat and his eyes keep flitting down to Fenris' snarling lips. Fenris is disturbingly wrong and frustratingly stubborn and infuriatingly calm and collected, with his shiny tattoos and hair and eyes. No sweat on his brow, no heat in his tone. At this point, Anders is honestly less concerned with making his point and more concerned with getting Fenris riled. Just a little bit, he thinks, it would be right for him to at least get a little bit riled. 

The TA asks if they need new lab partners. 

Sharply, even perhaps a little bit desperately, Fenris shouts "no!" 

Anders clamps his jaw shut and shakes his head no to support it. He really wants to win this argument, after all. But when the TA leaves he can't seem to remember what point he was making. Fenris is blushing. 

"No?" Anders smirks at him. 

"I need to pass this class," Fenris' flush deepens, and his shiny green eyes lower down unhappily to the paper of wrong answers in front of them. 

Anders can't help but grin. "Yeah, you're kind of wrong about everything," he says. 

Fenris crosses his arms, scowls, and blushes some more. "None of it makes sense to me," he admits, "but I need to pass this class." 

The way he says that does something to Anders' gut, something he doesn't like at all. His relentless sense of righteous purpose perks up. "I could help you," he volunteers. 

Fenris raises a suspicious eyebrow, then sighs. "You could?" 

Anders shrugs, and tries to cover up how shallow his breathing has suddenly become with a smirk. "Admit one of my points was right," he challenges. 

"Meredith Stannard is a bitch." Says Fenris. 

Anders laughs, and this time he is sure he sees that scowl crack into a genuine half smile. "Alright, library after class. I'll teach you all the tricks." 

[musclesandhammering]

I'm not fond of the pairing but from what I've seen General public actually loves Sylki very much. Even the trade reviews called the relationship "genius" which,,,ok. Someone did a poll on various platforms, yt, reddit, fb, twitter etc comparing which ship is better (Lokius or Sylki) and it was Sylki who won by large margin in the end. I suppose mostly they just don't care because it's sci fi and a pairing in a totally unrealistic show, and after Wandavision I guess weird ships are 'in' but yeah it makes you think. But the writers already said they won't give in to the fan pressure bc they have their own story to tell (which ok, valid, you do you) but idk. I guess we will get even more Sylki in second season. Tom already said Loki won't stop searching for her

Sometimes I think casual fans are the most irritating thing about being in a fandom :/

Just as a disclaimer (bc I don’t want people coming for me): I think lokius is really cute, and I love fics/art/headcanons about them, but I never thought they were canonically romantically interested in each other. I never thought lokius was gonna be canon, and I never wanted it to (because I didn’t want ANY romance in the series), so I don’t even include it in my argument against s*lki.

Ok so….. listen. This is gonna be a long ass post, so I’m putting it under a cut. Sorry, anon, but you’re the one that opened the Worm Can.

The viewing public, in general, tends to heavily skew towards heterosexual-presenting ships. Partially because a portion of the general audiences are homophobic, and partially because a lot of non-tumblr fans are so sick of hearing tumblr stans go on and on and on about how they were queerbaited by certain gay ships not becoming canon, when in reality, said ships are trash.

Listen. I sympathise with that. I get that. I know I’m beating a hornet’s nest with this, but…. D*stiel? J*hnlock? St*cky? None of those were written in any way to invoke queer undertones, they were always supposed to be platonic, and tbfh even as platonic relationships the first two are literally toxic and abusive as hell, anyway.

So I definitely understand how a casual straight fan on Twitter or Instagram would see some of those same crazy “we were queerbaited” tumblr stans ranting about lokius not becoming canon and how much s*lki sucks and……. it makes sense that they’d be like “These people are just pissed that their gay ship isn’t canon, that’s why they hate s*lki.”

But here’s the thing. I don’t think those people realise how callous it is to say something like that when the only reason queer kids are so quick to ship any two male characters who express a modicum of affection for one another, is that they’re so fucking starved for representation in the first place, they’re willing to see queer romance in any same-sex interaction. They’re just that desperate. That’s where the whole crazy gay stan thing comes from. And yeah, it’s annoying that these people put their whole chest into defending gay ships that are total trash, but you have to realise why they do it.

So, what I’m saying is, for s*lki shippers- who are already winning, because their straight ship had the privilege of easily becoming canon despite all its flaws- to look at queer people who are frustrated to the point of tears that they were once again conned out of any form of queer rep (for the mcu’s first canon queer character, for gods sake) after actually genuinely being queerbaited this time (with his bisexuality/genderfluidity)….. and to essentially gloat that their straight ship became canon and taunt queer people by saying “oh you’re just desperate for two men to kiss”………… idk, man. It just seems real cold to me. Reeks of straight privilege and heteronormativity.

Ok, so with that being said.. let me respond to your actual ask lol.

I’m not surprised at all that s*lki won the popularity polls. I think a large reason for that is the fact that it was pitted against lokius, which sorta rubs a lot of casual viewers the wrong way for reasons listed above. I’m also not surprised that casual viewers liked it outside of its opposition to lokius- because, um, casual viewers aren’t very smart.

They tend to analyse exactly nothing, they don’t look any deeper than the surface, and if the writers of a show stick a hot man and woman together under a blanket, they eat it up. Because the narrative tells them it’s sweet. Just like the narrative tells them Loki is a greasy asshole who had no character development up until this point, and they eat that up too. Just like the narrative tells them that sylvie’s the best thing since sliced bread, and they eat that up too. Just like the narrative tells them it’s completely in character for Loki to try to subjugate a group of 3 random Mongolians in the middle of the dessert for absolutely no reason other than his “narcissism”, and they eat that up too. Just like the narrative tells them that one throwaway line about liking “a bit of both” is somehow this groundbreaking example of lgbt representation, and they eat that up too……… See the pattern here?

And as far as being concerned about the pseudo-incest angle, I don’t even think casual fans even dug that deep. They literally just saw two main characters- a pretty white woman and a hot white man- doing cool fight scenes together and giving each other goo goo eyes, and they were automatically sold.

And the writers saying “we won’t give in to fan pressure, we have our own story to tell” is honestly complete bullshit. What the hell is the POINT of working for a corporate film company and telling a story on screen if not to please the fans??? They do what they do to get people to watch their shows to get lots of money. That’s literally what they’re there for. Mike Waldron must have a pretty damn inflated sense of self importance if he thinks his own “artistic vision” or what the hell ever is the priority here lmao.

And I wanna be mad about Season 2, I really do. But at this point Season 1 ruined the character so much for me that I legitimately don’t even care what direction they take him in.

[theadventuresofamuslimrevert]

Losing a loved one is one of the major trials of life many of us will encounter. Grief from that loss is a natural reaction that takes a different trajectory for different people. Some people describe grief as a dark fog that is difficult to shake, others speak of the suffocating regret and anxiety that often accompany those feelings, still others speak about grief as waves that rise up and subside at different points.

“And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient, Who, when disaster strikes them, say, “Indeed we belong to Allah , and indeed to Him we will return.” Those are the ones upon whom are blessings from their Lord and mercy. And it is those who are the guided.” [Quran; 2:155-157]

Sometimes people are expect to follow a particular timeline of grief, but the reality is that the journey of grief is different for everyone. Counsellors and bereavement supporters often speak about the five stages of grief that were popularized in the famous book On Death and Dying by psychiatrist Elizabeth Kubler-Ross namely: denial (as you begin to come to terms with the reality of the situation, denial begins to fade and difficult feelings may begin to surface), anger/anxiety (anger is the body’s natural reaction to threat and, oftentimes, there is no greater threat than the loss of someone you love or the loss of the way you envisioned life would be. Anger can also feel powerful during times when we feel powerless. You may experience nervousness, heart palpitations, restlessness, irritability, and/or difficulty breathing), bargaining (this stage often includes “If only…” statements due to the feelings of regret that come up with loss. This stage is characterized by an overwhelming desire for life to return to the way it was), depression (you might feel down and cry more often than you usually do. It may also feel like you have less motivation and find less enjoyment in activities you used to love. This stage can feel as though it’ll stretch on forever) and acceptance (it involves accepting the reality that this person is physically gone and that this new reality is the permanent reality. Acceptance does not mean that you’re “ok” with what happened. The loss of someone you love will likely never feel ok. The goal in this stage is to learn how to live with this loss and create a new normal despite the huge piece that is missing). However, recent research and understanding has concluded that grief can be an individualized and unpredictable experience and no two people’s experiences will be the same.

Let us look at some advice in the Quran and Sunnah to help us cope with grief and the loss of a loved one:

Shed tears as much as you want, but don’t let the tongue say what may displease Allah

Our Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) experienced grief at many points of his life, often at the loss of loved ones. During these experiences he taught us that grief is a natural emotion and that Allah does not hold us accountable for expressing sadness and pain in a permissible manner. Sadness does not negate the acceptance of Allah’s decree which is the very center of a believer’s journey in grief.

Narrated Anas bin Malik: We went with Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) (p.b.u.h) to the blacksmith Abu Saif, and he was the husband of the wet-nurse of Ibrahim (the son of the Prophet). Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) took Ibrahim and kissed him and smelled him and later we entered Abu Saif’s house and at that time Ibrahim was in his last breaths, and the eyes of Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) (p.b.u.h) started shedding tears. `Abdur Rahman bin `Auf said, “O Allah’s Apostle, even you are weeping!” He said, “O Ibn `Auf, this is mercy.” Then he wept more and said, “The eyes are shedding tears and the heart is grieved, and we will not say except what pleases our Lord, O Ibrahim ! Indeed we are grieved by your separation.” [Hadith; Sahih al-Bukhari 1303]

We see the intensity of these emotions in the Prophet Yaʿqub عليه السلام when he was separated from his son Yusuf عليه السلام and he grieved so deeply that his eyes turned white (it’s said that he lost his sight) due to the extent to which he cried. His intense grief is expressed in the Qur’an (after all those years of losing his son) yet he was called to have beautiful patience (sabrun jameel):

And he turned away from them and said, “Oh, my sorrow over Joseph,” and his eyes became white from grief, for he was a suppressor. [Quran; 12:84]

Accept that all of us belong to Allah and all of us will return to Him

As we see from the hadith above where the Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) was coping with grief, patience in Islam does not mean that we do not cry and that we do not express our emotions. What is forbidden is wailing and slapping one’s cheeks which was the culture at that time (the Arabs – women in particular – used to scream and wail during funerals or at someone’s death). As the Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) said the eyes shed tears and the heart is grieved but the tongue only says what is acceptable to Allah.

Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said, “The example of a believer is that of a fresh tender plant; from whatever direction the wind comes, it bends it, but when the wind becomes quiet, it becomes straight again. Similarly, a believer is afflicted with calamities (but he remains patient till Allah removes his difficulties.) And an impious wicked person is like a pine tree which keeps hard and straight till Allah cuts (breaks) it down when He wishes.” [Hadith; Sahih al-Bukhari 5644]

Make dua for yourself

As human beings, we attempt to cope with negative emotions in different ways. We often attempt to push away difficult emotions because they make us feel uncomfortable as it’s a painful process to sit with these feelings. We may try to distract ourselves or put on a fake smile. Some may even self-medicate through the use of drugs or alcohol to alleviate the pain they are feeling. When we are unable to grieve fully and an experience becomes a source of trauma, we are thrust into survival mode, which shuts down the executive functioning part of our brain and prevents us from thinking clearly. This is why we may react to situations in unhealthy ways or do things during times of stress that we would not have done during times of ease. This is one reason why some people struggle to worship Allah during times of extreme stress. When the “danger activation center” part of our brain is dominant, there is a decrease in self-awareness, our capacity to self-evaluate, and our ability to establish goals. All of these require advanced thought processes, which are very difficult to sustain during times of extreme stress. In order for any activity to help, our brain needs to register it. Research has shown an association between prayer and the ability to re-engage the “thinking” part of our brains.

Umm Salama, the wife of the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ), reported Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) as saying:If any servant (of Allah) who suffers a calamity says:” We belong to Allah and to Him shall we return; O Allah, reward me for my affliction and give me something better than it in exchange for it,” ‘ Allah will give him reward for affliction, and would give him something better than it in exchange. She (Umm Salama) said: When Abu Salama died. I uttered (these very words) as I was commanded (to do) by the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ). So Allah gave me better in exchange than him. i. e. (I was taken as the wife of) the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ). [Hadith; Sahih Muslim 918 b]

When I lost my baby son Hamza, I remember one of my close friends messaged me this dua and reminded me to keep reciting it. I had not really known that dua at that time but I am so grateful for friends who guided me to the right words to say at such a confusing and overwhelming time when I almost lost my faith as a revert.

Stay among people who love you and would support you through this difficult journey

It is quite common to be engulfed by grief with the death of a loved one. However, one must not dwell in it much heaven knows i did but i soon realised this sends an invitation to Shaytan to become your company. Let the death of a loved be a lesson of detaching from Dunya and to hold Allah (glorified and exalted be he) in your heart above all others.

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) visited Sa’d bin ‘Ubadah during his illness. He was accompanied by ‘Abdur-Rahman bin ‘Auf, Sa’d bin Abu Waqqas and ‘Abdullah bin Mas’ud (May Allah be pleased with them). The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) began to weep. When his Companions saw this, their tears also started flowing. He (ﷺ) said, “Do you not hear, Allah does not punish for the shedding of tears or the grief of the heart, but punishes or bestows mercy for the utterances of this (and he pointed to his tongue).” [Hadith; Riyad as-Salihin 925]

Remember that your patience is being rewarded more than you can imagine

These are words you should say even when you feel sad at the memory of a loss you faced in the past or when you miss your loved one or the life you had planned with them.

Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said, “Allah says, ‘I have nothing to give but Paradise as a reward to my believer slave, who, if I cause his dear friend (or relative) to die, remains patient (and hopes for Allah’s Reward). [Hadith; Sahih al-Bukhari 6424]

Stay away from questioning Qadr of Allah (asking: why me? or if only!)

Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: ‘A slave (of Allah) shall not believe until he believes in Al-Qadar, its good and its bad, such that he knows that what struck him would not have missed him, and that what missed him would not have struck him.” [Hadith; Tirmidhi 2144]

Often one of the ways, Shaitan attacks us at times of calamity or a loss is to overwhelm us with questions of what if and why me? How did this happen? Would it have been prevented if I had just done this or that or gone to the hospital earlier or taken this or that medical intervention?? I blamed myself for my sons death so much over the last year (he passed away 25/07/2020) but after reading the following in last few weeks I've become to realise there was nothing I could do to prevent it as it was Allah's will.

“The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: ‘The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, although both are good. Strive for that which will benefit you, seek the help of Allah, and do not feel helpless. If anything befalls you, do not say, “if only I had done such and such” rather say “Qaddara Allahu wa ma sha’a fa’ala (Allah has decreed and whatever he wills, He does).” For (saying) ‘If’ opens (the door) to the deeds of Satan.'” [Hadith; Ibn Majah 79]

These are some of the words my midwife told me to say when I heard the news of my baby passing away in my womb after 25weeks of pregnancy I am forever grateful to her for reminding me this at that trying time. Reminding ourselves we all have a path and a time to meet Allah and it is not the time be battling with the what if questions you are bombarded yourself with. I am grateful to Allah (swt) for giving me people in my life who were able to remind me of the right words to say and the right approach at such a difficult time. Remind yourself: whatever happened was decreed by Allah and nothing you or someone else did or did not do could have changed it. Focusing on the factors within your control, rather than on regrets and a desire to return to the less painful past, can help you to get through this stage.

But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not. [Quran; 2:216]

Turning back to our deen and our belief in Qadr is what helped us accept the death as something Allah had decreed at this exact time and this exact situation and there is nothing we could have done to have changed that. Changing the past is not feasible so channeling our energy into something unchangeable is a recipe for intense pain. Instead of “What if…” Focus on “What is…”: The one thing we consistently have within our control is what we choose to do with the present moment. Shifting our focus away from regrets of the past and worries about the future allows us to take advantage of the present moment. Allah (swt) talks about this attitude of remorse in the Quran:

O you who have believed, do not be like those who disbelieved and said about their brothers when they traveled through the land or went out to fight, “If they had been with us, they would not have died or have been killed,” so Allah makes that a regret within their hearts. And it is Allah who gives life and causes death, and Allah is Seeing of what you do. [Quran; 3:156]

Instead, turn to Allah and open your heart to Him

Death can serve as a reminder to those left behind about the temporariness of this life and the importance of working for our next lives. It forces us to reflect on what is meaningful and what is important. Turn to Allah and pour your heart out to Him, talk to Him about your pain, cry out to Him and ask Him to calm your heart and heal your pain. Ask Him to reunite you with your loved one in Jannah. Ask Him to give you strength and peace. When Prophet Yaqub (عَلَيْهِ السَّلَام) cried so much that he lost his eyesight after all those years of losing his son, his elder sons said:

They said, “By Allah , you will not cease remembering Joseph until you become fatally ill or become of those who perish.” He said, “I only complain of my suffering and my grief to Allah , and I know from Allah that which you do not know. O my sons, go and find out about Joseph and his brother and despair not of relief from Allah . Indeed, no one despairs of relief from Allah except the disbelieving people.” [Quran: 12:85-87]

Turn to Allah in sincere dua. No one else can heal your pain and give peace to your heart.

اللَّهُمَّ مُصَرِّفَ الْقُلُوبِ صَرِّفْ قُلُوبَنَا عَلَى طَاعَتِكَ

Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said: “Verily, the hearts of all the sons of Adam are between the two fingers out of the fingers of the Compassionate Lord as one heart. He turns that to any (direction) He likes. Then Allahs Messenger (ﷺ) said: 0 Allah, the Turner of the hearts, turn our hearts to Thine obedience.” [Hadith; Sahih Muslim 265]

Journal to face and deal with your emotions so you don’t become hopeless

Writing to process your feelings is another helpful technique to help deal with your emotions and your grief ive found this out this week from advice from a sister who lost her father recently. She said that Writing out your thoughts and confusions will help sort them out, journals about your feelings from day to day, use gratitude journalings to focus on the blessings even at such difficult times, write letters to your loved one as if you are talking to them. All of this helps deal with the emotions and grief just as talking or counselling does as well.

“And that to your Lord is the finality. And that it is He who makes laugh and weep.” [Quran; 53:42-43]

Find meaning / gratitude in your life again and create the required changes

Grief expert, David Kessler says, “meaning comes through finding a way to sustain your love for the person after their death while you’re moving forward with your life. Loss is simply what happens to you in life. Meaning is what you make happen.”

It was narrated that Ibn ‘Abbas said: “When a young daughter of the Messenger of Allah was dying, the Messenger of Allah picked her up and held her to his chest, then he put his hand on her, and she died in front of the Messenger of Allah. Umm Ayman wept and the Messenger of Allah said ‘Oh Umm Ayman, do you weep while the Messenger of Allah is with you?’ She said: ‘Why shouldn’t I weep when the Messenger of Allah is weeping.” So the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said “Verily, I am not weeping. Rather it is compassion.’ Then the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: ‘The believer is fine whatever the situation; even when his soul is being pulled from his body and he praises Allah, the Mighty and Sublime”‘ [Hadith; Sunan an-Nasa’i 1843]

Finding meaning cannot erase your grief; pain is a natural reaction to intense loss. However, it can help you move forward. The loss of someone or something dear to you can often lead to reevaluating your priorities in life. Allowing this loss to push you toward positive changes in your life is one of the most profound ways of creating meaning. Gratitude is one of the qualities of a believer. Gratitude is tied closely to the concept of patience. The Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) said:

Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said: Strange are the ways of a believer for there is good in every affair of his and this is not the case with anyone else except in the case of a believer for if he has an occasion to feel delight, he thanks (God), thus there is a good for him in it, and if he gets into trouble and shows resignation (and endures it patiently), there is a good for him in it. [Hadith; Sahih Muslim 2999]

Gratitude is also an attitude during adversity. Although difficult to see, there are always blessings that accompany a difficult time. Look for the blessings and ease that Allah has brought with this difficulty. May be things were easier than they could have been, may be there were eases in other areas of your life, may be this test drew you closer to Allah (swt), may be it allowed you to reflect on the reality of your life and allowed you to give more in charity, may be it became a means of wiping away your sins and earning you reward.

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, “When a man’s child dies, Allah, the Exalted, asks His angels, ‘Have you taken out the life of the child of My slave?’ and they reply in the affirmative. He (SWT) then asks, ‘Have you taken the fruit of his heart?’ and they reply in the affirmative. Thereupon He asks, ‘What did my slave say?’ They say: ‘He praised You and said: Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji’un (We belong to Allah and to Him we shall return).’ Allah says: ‘Build a house for my slave in Jannah and name it Baitul-Hamd (the House of Praise).”‘ [Hadith; Riyad as-Salihin 922]

Know that sadness doesn’t last forever even if the memories do

“For indeed, with hardship ease. Indeed, with hardship ease.” [Quran; 94:6]

Remember this promise of Allah. Remember that every moment of sadness and pain, no matter how overwhelming, is a part of the process of healing. Instead of focusing on the stretch of days ahead of you with this loss feeling like a looming storm cloud over your future, focus on the one step you can take today to get through the day. When experiencing feelings of depression, putting one foot in front of the other can make a huge difference. Get adequate sleep and eat healthy. Your body and well-being are an amānah from Allah that you need to take care of. Find time to decompress, however that might work for you. For some people this may include praying, making dua, reading, art, working out, or engaging in a hobby.

It was narrated that Ibn ‘Umar said: “I was with the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) and a man from among the Ansar came to him and greeted the Prophet (ﷺ) with Salam. Then he said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, which of the believers is best?’ He said: ‘He who has the best manners among them.’ He said: ‘Which of them is wisest?’ He said: ‘The one who remembers death the most and is best in preparing for it. Those are the wisest.’” [Hadith; Ibn Majah 160]

Go through happy memories you experienced with them and remember your loved one in good words

Narrated Abu Al-Aswad: I came to Medina when an epidemic had broken out. While I was sitting with `Umar bin Al-Khattab a funeral procession passed by and the people praised the deceased. `Umar said, “It has been affirmed to him.” And another funeral procession passed by and the people praised the deceased. `Umar said, “It has been affirmed to him.” A third (funeral procession) passed by and the people spoke badly of the deceased. He said, “It has been affirmed to him.” I (Abu Al-Aswad) asked, “O chief of the believers! What has been affirmed?” He replied, “I said the same as the Prophet (ﷺ) had said, that is: if four persons testify the piety of a Muslim, Allah will grant him Paradise.” We asked, “If three persons testify his piety?” He (the Prophet) replied, “Even three.” Then we asked, “If two?” He replied, “Even two.” [Hadith; Sahih al-Bukhari 1368]

Remembering the happy times you had with your deceased loved ones can be a bittersweet experience. Many will talk about how this can have a healing effect, others mention how it rekindles the pain in their heart. Sometimes different reactions may also depend on where you are on your grief journey. Remembering the good times you had with your loved one can help you in dealing with the grief and with slowly learning to remember them without always feeling the pain of separation. Reminding yourself that you still have hope of reuniting with them in the hereafter is another way to help you process the pain you are feeling.

It was narrated that ‘Aishah said: “Something bad was said in the presence of the Prophet about a person who had died. He said: ‘Do not say anything but good about your dead.”‘ [Hadith; Sunan an-Nasa’i 1935]

Make dua for your loved one and give charity on their behalf

Messenger of Allah(ﷺ) said: “A man will be raised in status in Paradise and will say: ‘Where did this come from?’ And it will be said: ‘From your son’s praying for forgiveness for you.'” [Hadith; Sunan Ibn Majah 3660]

Channel your grief in a productive way and think about what you can do for your loved one now. One of the ways we can benefit our deceased loved ones is by making sincere dua for them. We can also benefit our deceased loved ones by giving charity on their behalf.

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, “When a man dies, his deeds come to an end except for three things: Sadaqah Jariyah (ceaseless charity); a knowledge which is beneficial, or a virtuous descendant who prays for him (for the deceased).” [Hadith; Riyad as-Salihin 1383]

Seek help and support others

Seek social support, go to counselling and therapy, talk to friends about how you feel. Attend a bereavement group if you can so you can see how others in your situation are coping. Check Children of Jannah or Eternal Gardens for bereavement support. One major indicator that someone needs professional help is if they demonstrate an impaired ability to function in their day-to-day life with their family, at work, socially, emotionally, and sometimes spiritually. Again, this doesn’t mean that the person is mentally ill, but that they would likely benefit from talking to someone with expertise in the field of mental health.

Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said, “A Muslim is a brother of another Muslim, so he should not oppress him, nor should he hand him over to an oppressor. Whoever fulfilled the needs of his brother, Allah will fulfill his needs; whoever brought his (Muslim) brother out of a discomfort, Allah will bring him out of the discomforts of the Day of Resurrection, and whoever screened a Muslim, Allah will screen him on the Day of Resurrection.” [Hadith; Sahih al-Bukhari 2442]

The aim of ta’ziyah is to strengthen the broken-hearted and give them hope at a time when their hope may be waning; it is to lighten the load of the bereaved. After the intense sadness of losing someone you care for deeply, you have the unique ability to empathize with the struggles others face in similar circumstances. Here are some things you can do for grieving families: Spend time with them without imposing yourself as a guest and expecting them to host you with food and drink. Offer to help by buying groceries, doing household chores, or watching their children.

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: Prepare food for the family of Ja’far for there came upon them an incident which has engaged them. [Hadith; Sunan Abi Dawud 3132]

Do what helps you through your journey of grief. Remember no two journeys are the same, so listen to your heart and give it what it needs. Sometimes you may need time to be alone, sometimes you may need to be around others you love. Sometimes you may need to talk about them, sometimes you may just need to sit quietly with your own thoughts. May Allah heal your pain, calm your heart and reunite you with your loved one in the hereafter.

I hope this helps who ever needs it see this right now...

Rest in peace my beautiful son Hamza until we meet again in jannah 🤲🤲

[dwellordream]

“...First, let’s talk about materials. We can rule out a Steppe Nomad inspiration for any of this right off. The Eurasian Steppe is very large and covers a range of arid climates (that is to say, parts of it are colder, parts of it are warmer), but they all have spinning and weaving technology, by which the supple hairs of woolly animals, or plant fibers like linen, or cotton, or even natural protein fibers like silk can be fashioned into fabric which is more flexible, comfortable, breathable and temperature controlled than the raw leather we see in the show.

...there is a distinct lack here of lots of leather, except in the sort of things that lots of cultures use leather for (boots, fittings, saddles, bags, tents). Instead, clothing is mostly made out of nice, comfortable, breathable textiles, because of course it is. That is not to say, to be clear, that leather or hides or fur were never used – fur especially was used; merely that they were generally used to supplement clothing primarily made out of textile.

...Now Plains Native American clothing does make much greater use of animal skin as a clothing material, but there is an important distinction to be made here. The problem here is with the plasticity of the term ‘leather’ which can technically include a wide range of products, but in practice is understood to mean exactly what the Game of Thrones costume department and literally every piece of official artwork of the Dothraki understand it to mean, which is the product of tanning processes.

I am not an expert, but as far as I can tell, Native American clothing was not made in the same way; animal products were used in a process I have seen described as ‘brain tanning’ (rather than using chemical tannins) and the final product was then smoked. The result – which is often called ‘buckskin’ regardless of the animal source for the hide – is very different from the leather we see in the show.

This is, in terms of material, very clearly not what the ‘vests’ the Dothraki in the show are wearing. Buckskin would also be used to make trousers, as opposed to the “horsehair leggings” of Martin’s wording, which also strike me as deeply improbable. Haircloth – fabric made from horsehair (or camel hair) – is durable, but typically stiff, unsupple and terribly itchy; not something you want in direct contact with your skin (especially not between your rear end and a saddle), unless you just really like skin irritation. It is also a difficult material to get in any kind of significant quantity – and you would need a significant quantity if you intended to make most of your trousers out of it.

...Well that’s for materials, what about patterns? Once again, we can quite easily rule out anything steppe inspired. Again, the Eurasian Steppe is big and has lots of variety, but relatively long robes are generally the norm in terms of dress; where long robes were not worn (see our Scythian above), the common pattern was heavy sleeved garments and trousers with very complete coverage. A common example of the type of long robe-like garments is the Mongolian deel, a long sleeved robe or tunic which provides a lot of protection against the elements. In the case of elites – and Daenerys is, initially, mostly around elites – these could be made of expensive silk or brocade – but poorer versions might be made of wool.

...And there is good reason for these relatively high-coverage garments. Plains or Steppe peoples naturally tend to live on, well, plains and steppes – that is large expanses of semi-arid grasslands. The very nature of that terrain configuration produces fairly extreme seasonal temperature variations (that is, very hot summers and very cold winters) as well as extreme daily temperature variations (that is, hot days and cold nights) because such places are far from large bodies of water and also don’t have tree-cover, both of which serve to moderate rapid temperature changes.

Consequently, as anyone who has lived in a plains state in the USA (or on the Eurasian Steppe, though that is fewer of my readers, but for my brave handful of hits from that part of the world, hello and welcome!) can tell you, you need clothes that can be layered and which can be both warm in the winter and cool in the summer. For us moderns, we mostly do this by owning multiple season-specific wardrobes, but clothing is expensive in pre-modern societies, so multi-purpose garments, or garments that be layered, to turn a warm-weather outfit into a cold-weather outfit are important!

There’s no reason to suppose the Dothraki Sea would be any different: it sits at about the same latitude as King’s Landing so there is little reason to assume it would be warm all-year-round. Parts of the Eurasian Steppe stretch decently far south, sharing a latitude with northern Italy and Spain; nevertheless they do not enjoy the same Mediterranean climate because they don’t have the same exposure to the weather patterns created by the sea. The southern end of the Great Plains stretches down all the way into Texas, but still gets properly cold in the winter with temperatures regularly dipping below freezing in the winter despite the latitude. For a people who are camping and working outside all of the time, warm clothing is going to be a must.

...There is tremendous variety here, but I don’t think any of it could be aptly described simply as “Men and women alike wore painted leather vests over bare chests and horsehair leggings.” Now, if you looked hard enough could you find something that resembled Martin’s leather vests, bare chests and horsehair leggings somewhere in the clothing of Native Americans across two continents? Probably, but among the specific Native peoples that Martin cites as inspiration, it does not seem to be at all common. And if that description was wholly unconnected to anything in the real world, we might well stop there and conclude that, well this is just the ‘dash of pure fantasy’ that Martin was talking about (although as we’ll see, it is going to be quite a bit more than just a dash). But I don’t think we can stop there, because (removing the medallion belts) Martin’s description does adequately describe something that exists in the real world: Halloween costumes purporting to depict Native Americans.

...The vest-and-pants style of Native American Halloween costume seems to be rather rare now, but it was, at least to my memory, much more common in the 1990s, when A Game of Thrones was written (initial publication date of 1996). You can see them, for instance, on many of the background extras in the famous Thanksgiving scene from Addams Family Values (1993) and that vest style was also a part of the outfit for the also-quite-unfortunately-branded YMCA Indian Guides/Indian Princesses program (rebranded as the ‘Adventure Guides’ in 2003 after decades of Native Americans complaining about it) which was also fairly popular in the 1990s.

Now, I am not saying that Martin planned to construct his Dothraki out of Native American stereotypes and bad Halloween costumes. In fact, I am fairly confident he intended nothing of the sort. But in the absence of doing some effective research (and it is going to become increasingly apparent that at least effective research was not done) there was quite possibly nothing else to inform the effort other than what was ‘in the air’ of the popular consciousness. Of course the danger of those often simplistic public stereotypes is that people often do not know that they have them, assuming instead that the vague impression they have is essentially accurate (or at least, close enough for a regular person). And that’s a real problem because it reinforces the popular stereotype, especially given Martin’s reputation for writing more ‘historically grounded’ fiction. And that is a problem because…

The clothing that the Dothraki are described and visually shown wearing is clearly intended to convey things about their society. Returning to our visual comparison above, it is easy to see that the actual clothing of both Eurasian and American ‘horse cultures’ was often bright, highly decorated and generally eye-catching, featuring complex patterns and shapes. It was both nice looking, but also spoke to the humanity of the people that made it and their very human desire to look nice and have nice looking things. By contrast, the clothing of the Dothraki is presented as simple, rugged and unadorned.

...I want to stress this to make the point clear: people in the past liked to look nice! Much of the popular perception of pre-modern clothing assumes lots of dull, drab colors, undecorated or merely adorned with rough pelts, but this is almost entirely a Hollywood construction. The Romans didn’t exclusively dress in white (indeed, the toga candida, the white toga, was an unusually formal thing to wear, like a politician’s suit-with-flag-pin), medieval peasants didn’t wear drab brown (they dressed in bright primary colors mostly), and as I hope the historical pictures for this essay show, both steppe nomads and Plains Native Americans wore nice clothing with lots of patterns, color and decoration. These men next to Khal Drogo are his elite guard of ‘bloodriders,’ the companions of a ruler who wields tremendous power and wealth! And yet they have opted to wear mostly undecorated bland brown leather.

Just to underline this point, think about what a fine set of clothing communicates to an observer (for instance, one of Khal Drogo’s thousands of mounted warrior retainers who are present at this event). Imported goods, like metalwares (which nomads won’t generally be able to make themselves) or fine imported fabrics demonstrate not only trade contacts but also often that the leader has useful ties to foreign leaders (since such things were often gifts or tribute from foreign courts). Garments whose production, due to fine patterns, complex weaves, intricate beading or quillwork, would take many, many hours of production demonstrate that the leader has a lot of subordinate people in their household (in many cases, that would mean women), which both implies the ability to give these people as gifts (either in marriage or because of their non-free status) and also the access to resources (in this case herds of animals) needed to sustain so many people – in short, the sort of leader who can reward faithful warriors richly.

And of course a leader who outfits his closest retainers – his bloodriders, in this case – with such wares (especially expensive foreign metal military equipment) demonstrates both access to military capital and also the ability to reward his trusted lieutenants. In short, the Khal whose person and immediate retainers are decked out in finery looks like backing the winning side, which is a very important thing to assess as one of his warriors. So even if not one of Drogo’s men cares about their personal appearance at all, it is still politically important for them to dress for success.

Which then demands the question, looking at the very fine clothing of historical horse cultures that supposedly provided the inspiration for these Dothraki fellows: Where is the exquisite bead work? The fine quillwork? Where are the carefully made fringes? Where is the silk brocade? Where are the detailed, complex patterns?”

- Bret Devereaux, “That Dothraki Horde, Part I: Barbarian Couture.”

[writingwithcolor]

Coding a Buddhist South Asian character (In Space)

@zenodotus-xxiv​ said:

I'm writing a Buddhist south asian character, and the narrative is set about 700 years in the future. I don't want to fall into the "ambiguously brown" trope, so can I get some pointers about what cultural elements to put in to preserve the fact that she's got that cultural identity, even though she was raised in space?

Family Background

The first thing you must determine is your character’s cultural origins. This will inform her naming as well as her religious sect. Sri Lankan Buddhists would be Theravada Buddhists while Nepalis and Tibetans would more likely be Mahayana and Vajrayana (esoteric) Buddhists. I’ll leave the research for naming as well as the philosophical and cultural differences between sects to you. Knowing where she is from will also determine the language she likely speaks (depending on how many languages from Earth are still being spoken). WWC has a guide on South Asian names should you need a starting point. 

Culturally Specific Religious Practices in Space

There are certain cultural practices that immediately strike me as workable in outer space:

Prayer wheels

Prayer by circumnavigation

Counting mantras on prayer beads

Breath counting meditation

However others that might be less feasible depending on the technology and living environments in outer space. 

Singing bowls

Incense

Mandalas

Chanting

Flame-based meditation

Your world-building for life in space will be important here.

Research, research and more research

Buddhism is definitely more about the internal state of mind than external practice. Many Buddhists I know often joke that the more we talk about Buddhism, the less like Buddhism it becomes, so how your character approaches her culture and religion will depend a lot on her interpretations of her faith. However, for the sake of covering your bases, I recommend researching theological commentary from modern notable Buddhist figures.

- Marika.

For the sake of compatible examples in popular media, I recommend Star Trek over Star Wars. As a Buddhist, I must confess that I’m not advanced enough to not be irritated by George Lucas.

[therealvagabird]

I’ve been thinking about disabilities on the tabletop for some time now. Given, there are certain systems that accommodate for this, but I’m only really familiar with D&D 5E, and that also seems to be the most popular system currently running.

So here’s Part 1 of (hopefully) a series of homebrew rules to let you play disabled characters in 5E. This first bit includes stat reduction effects for all your core stats - reflecting what it would be like for your character to have cripplingly low Strength, or Intelligence, or Constitution, etc. I tried to design these rules to have some level of trade-offs, and make the roleplaying experience more interesting rather than just more difficult, but make no mistake, these are still disabilities.

Stat Reduction Defects

To represent permanent debilitating disabilities of the body, one or more of these defects may be taken at character creation to add additional mechanical depth to your roleplaying experience. Each defect comes in three levels of severity. Only one level of any given defect may be chosen, but multiple defects across stats may also be taken. For example: a character may not take level 1 Wisdom deficiency AND level 3 Wisdom deficiency, but may take level 1 Wisdom deficiency, and a level 2 Dexterity deficiency.

CONSTITUTION

Level 1

Subtract 2 points from your Constitution score at character creation. You gain 2 point-buy points to allocate into any other stat.

You are of a poorer constitution compared to most. You do not suffer hurts well, and are prone to sickness, but you are not wholly crippled.

Level 2

Subtract 4 points from your Constitution score at character creation. You gain 4 point-buy points to allocate into any other stat.

Minor disability: Withering. Whenever you would gain a level of exhaustion, you gain one additional level of exhaustion as well.

You are afflicted with a wasting illness for which no healer could find a cure. In addition to the normal pains that result from such a low constitution, even doing normal tasks weighs upon you, and you struggle persistently with simply living your life.

Level 3

Subtract 4 points from your Constitution score at character creation. You gain 4 point-buy points to allocate into any other stat.

Minor disability: Withering. Whenever you would gain a level of exhaustion, you gain one additional level of exhaustion as well.

Major disability: Frailty. Your poor health has affected your overall physical ability. You have disadvantage on all Athletics and Acrobatics checks.

Grace: Caution. Your delicate nature has made you hyper-aware of potential dangers. You may add your proficiency bonus to Perception rolls. This effect may stack with other bonuses to your Perception. You also gain advantage on Investigation checks to detect potentially poisonous substances.

You would be described as “sickly” at your halest. Due to your affliction you are highly susceptible to all physiological damage. In some ways it’s a miracle you’ve lived this long. The fact that you’ve made it so far shows that you have an attentive mind and personality.

STRENGTH

Level 1

Subtract 2 points from your Strength score at character creation. You gain 2 point-buy points to allocate into any other stat.

You are weaker than average and are not suited for hard labor. Martial pursuits are likely out of the question for you.

Level 2

Subtract 4 points from your Strength score at character creation. You gain 4 point-buy points to allocate into any other stat.

Minor disability: Weak. When prone, you must use all of your movement for your round if you wish to stand up again.

Beyond simple lack of strength, you are weak by all adult standards for your race. Even doing conventional tasks is taxing for you.

Level 3

Subtract 4 points from your Strength score at character creation. You gain 4 point-buy points to allocate into any other stat.

Minor disability: Weak. When prone, you must use all of your movement for your round if you wish to stand up again.

Major disability: Crippled. Your body struggles to even support itself. You have disadvantage on Acrobatics rolls, and your base movement speed is reduced by 10.

Grace: Unthreatening. Your thin and frail appearance puts most people at ease, as they assume you are no great threat. You have advantage on Persuasion and Deception checks when trying to convince others you are not a threat to them.

Your bones and muscles wither as if you are starving, and even the weight of your own frame can be too much at times. While those who value strength would look down on you, at the very least you give off an unthreatening aura.

DEXTERITY

Level 1

Subtract 2 points from your Dexterity score at character creation. You gain 2 point-buy points to allocate into any other stat.

Fine details are not your strong suit. Simple tasks or things which do not involve so much precision are more your pace.

Level 2

Subtract 4 points from your Dexterity score at character creation. You gain 4 point-buy points to allocate into any other stat.

Minor disability: Lame. Your base movement speed is reduced by 10.

Your poor dexterity has manifested as an overall lack of agility. Due to some illness in your joints even walking can be a fitful struggle.

Level 3

Subtract 4 points from your Dexterity score at character creation. You gain 4 point-buy points to allocate into any other stat.

Minor disability: Lame. Your base movement speed is reduced by 10.

Major disability: Palsy. Make all tool use checks at disadvantage, otherwise using tools takes twice as long.

Grace: Blunt. You are inured to rough terrain, since all terrain seems rough to you as it is. You are unimpeded by all non-magical Difficult Terrain, including crowded urban areas.

You are afflicted with a palsy which makes precision work near impossible without significant effort, and your every motion is only half in your control. “Clumsy” would be a generous term. However, if you put your mind to it there is nothing stopping you from engaging in more straightforward tasks.

INTELLIGENCE

Level 1

Subtract 2 points from your Intelligence score at character creation. You gain 2 point-buy points to allocate into any other stat.

You are less intelligent than average, but besides being mocked for a dullard you are not overly handicapped.

Level 2

Subtract 4 points from your Intelligence score at character creation. You gain 4 point-buy points to allocate into any other stat.

Minor disability: Unlearned. You cannot read or write the script for any languages you speak.

Your mind does not function with the vigor that it should. This has rendered you unable to comprehend the written word and put you at a severe disadvantage in life.

Level 3

Subtract 4 points from your Intelligence score at character creation. You gain 4 point-buy points to allocate into any other stat.

Minor disability: Unlearned. You cannot read or write the script for any languages you speak.

Major disability: Slow Minded. You have disadvantage on any Intelligence check to recall information.

Grace: Pity. Many people are predisposed to take pity on you and grant you assistance in matters requiring a sharp wit. Commoners may offer you work, though not always good work, while upper-class individuals may give you charity more readily. Scholars and other learned folk may find you irritating, however.

Your mind is handicapped by some manner of defect. You have immense trouble learning and retaining information and would likely be called “simple” by most members of polite society. However this has had the benefit of some people being more forthcoming with charity out of a sense of pity.

WISDOM

Level 1

Subtract 2 points from your Wisdom score at character creation. You gain 2 point-buy points to allocate into any other stat.

You lack a little something most people seem to have. Call it a sheltered upbringing, a slowness of the mind, or something else, but it’s expressed in a marked absence of wisdom.

Level 2

Subtract 4 points from your Wisdom score at character creation. You gain 4 point-buy points to allocate into any other stat.

Minor disability: Phobia. You must roll or choose a Phobia from the following table. When exposed to the Trigger of that Phobia you must succeed on a Fear (Wis) saving throw or become Frightened. Once Frightened you can re-roll to break Fear once per round in combat. If out of combat your comrades must aid you in overcoming your anxieties. Your Trigger will not activate again until you have taken a short or long rest.

Your mind is frail. In addition to lacking many of the insights and experiences other people seem to pick up naturally, you’re easily Frightened and maladjusted to the wide world.

Level 3

Subtract 4 points from your Wisdom score at character creation. You gain 4 point-buy points to allocate into any other stat.

Minor disability: Phobia. You must roll or choose a Phobia from the following table. When exposed to the Trigger of that Phobia you must succeed on a Fear (Wis) saving throw or become Frightened. Once Frightened you can re-roll to break Fear once per round in combat. If out of combat your comrades must aid you in overcoming your anxieties. Your Trigger will not activate again until you have taken a short or long rest.

Major disability: Disconnected. Your inability to read the world around you has impacted your ability to connect to other people as well. You have disadvantage on Deception and Persuasion checks concerning creatures with the Humanoid type.

Grace: Oblivious. You have advantage against being Charmed, and on Insight rolls against being Deceived by Humanoid creatures.

Some might call you slow, but your issue isn’t one of intelligence. Things simply don’t make sense to you, and you drift on in life unable to fully take in the world around you or the people in it. Your strange disconnect from others has some upsides – while it is hard for you to convey your thoughts to others, and are as perceptive as a stone, you can sometimes see through the illusions of the world that others take for granted, given that you are unburdened by the veil of how things are “supposed” to be.

Wisdom Phobia Table (d20)

If you have taken the Phobia trait you must either roll for a result on this table or choose a Phobia at will. Meeting the Trigger of this Phobia will require you to make a DC-15 Fear (Wisdom) saving throw or become Frightened. Once Frightened you can re-roll to break Fear once per round in combat. If out of combat your comrades must aid you in overcoming your anxieties. Your Trigger will not activate again until you have taken a short or long rest.

CHARISMA

Level 1

Subtract 2 points from your Charisma score at character creation. You gain 2 point-buy points to allocate into any other stat.

You are a rather unsavory sort, either due to some deformity, or simply a bad personality. Most people will not appreciate your company.

Level 2

Subtract 4 points from your Charisma score at character creation. You gain 4 point-buy points to allocate into any other stat.

Minor disability: Repulsive. You are either deformed or off-putting in some way that makes people want to avoid you. When attempting to enter conversation with a Humanoid creature, roll on the Repulsive Reactions table to determine the result.

There is something wrong with your demeanor. Perhaps your appearance is unnaturally hideous, or you emanate an unsettling feeling. You’ve had to find new ways to adapt to a world that despises you.

Level 3

Subtract 4 points from your Charisma score at character creation. You gain 4 point-buy points to allocate into any other stat.

Minor disability: Repulsive. You are either deformed or off-putting in some way that makes people want to avoid you. When attempting to enter conversation with a Humanoid creature, roll on the Repulsive Reactions table to determine the result.

Major disability: Shunned. Your inability to connect with others has left your interpersonal skills lacking in more ways than one. You have disadvantage on Insight checks against Humanoid creatures, as well as disadvantage on Animal Handling checks.

Grace: Discarded. You are so hideous most people will go out of their way to avoid you, even to the point where you might use this to your advantage. You have advantage on Stealth and Intimidation checks against Humanoid creatures.

You are a monster – or at least most people seem to think so. Whether by virtue of your disgusting appearance or some black pall that accompanies you, no decent folk want your company. However there are certain ways a savvy individual might leverage such disdain to their advantage.

Repulsive Reactions Table (d20)

If you possess the Repulsive trait, you must roll on this table before you enter into conversation with any Humanoid creature. Make a Charisma check and determine the outcome based on the reactions table. Individuals with whom you are personally acquainted or who are obliged to interact with you, such as party members, friends, and most shopkeepers, clerks, and clerics do not trigger a roll.

[css1992]

could u do more high school au's pls? I was thinking maybe rich popular peter who seems untouchable and then grungy tony who just doesnt care for appearances and hes been pining after peter his whole school life

+

could u make it so that tony is rich and everyone knows it but he just doesn't care about his money and doesnt act rich so it's one of those things that u know but dont acknowledge. also if tony's daddy issues made an appearance id be so happy ty.

I’m so sorry for the delay, but I really do hope this scratches your itch! 

***

He had that sort of beauty that almost hurt to look at. So pure and soft. Pink cheeks, small eyes that squinted when he laughed – which was often –; brown, wavy hair, so shiny and silky-looking; thin, pink lips, always stretched in a smile. He had the most beautiful smile Tony had ever seen, too. Honest and wide, happy.

He was never alone. Of course he wasn’t. He was too magnetic, there were always people drawn to his light, following him around, laughing at his jokes, making him laugh in return. Everyone seemed to want a piece of him, a scrap of his attention. And he, being the lovely human being that he was, made room for anyone who wished to bask in his light.

Jocks liked him. Peter was great at team sports, he was light on his feet and good with his hands. He wasn’t in any teams, though, claimed he didn’t have the time, but he was always picked first in P.E. group activities. Tony knew, watched him at practice way too often – from a distance, of course, as he did his stretches and sit-ups with Rhodes.

Nerds liked him, too. He was really smart, an asset to the Decathlon team, and was always willing to help anyone having trouble in class. Even the weirdos from drama club, glee club and the school band loved him – he never made fun of them, on the contrary, he was always very vocal about how talented they were and how he wished he could be a part of their clubs, too.

Girls swooned at him. He was kind and sweet, a good listener, and gorgeous. Guys weren’t immune to his charms, either. The ones Tony knew for a fact that were gay or bi didn’t even try to pretend they didn’t watch him when he walked down the halls, but even supposedly straight guys, like Steve Rogers, sneaked a peek now and then, face flushed, if he was wearing specially tight jeans.

Tony was jealous of all those people, but he learned to deal with it. He’d been, well, admiring him from a distance for years. He was used to seeing people make passes at him, ask him out. Peter was discreet, though. If he ever dated anyone, nobody ever heard anything about it. He was a mystery, Tony wasn’t even sure if he was gay, straight, bi or whatever – there were rumors that he had made out with Wade Wilson in freshman year, but neither of them confirmed or denied it. Tony hated the guy anyway.

“If you keep staring, people are gonna know you’re in love and not actually dead inside,” Rhodey spoke up right next to him, taking a huge bite of his tuna sandwich. Tony averted his gaze from Peter’s table for a minute and looked at his friend, annoyed. “It’s gonna ruin your whole aesthetic.”

“Very funny,” He rolled his eyes and looked back at Peter. There were so many people around him he could barely catch a glimpse of his smile, which was annoying.

His dad’s company, Parker Innovations, had just released a new phone a few weeks earlier, it was ridiculous how many people thought they could get one for free if they kissed his ass hard enough. At least Tony didn’t have to endure that kind of nonsense anymore. People in that school learned very early on that even though he was related to Howard Stark, he wanted nothing to do with the guy – or his company, or his money. They also learned sucking up to him did nothing but annoy him, so they kind of just forgot he existed over time and he blended right in with everyone else – a blessing in its own right.

“Rhodey is right, you’re drooling, it’s a little embarrassing,” Natasha looked at him with boredom as she nibbled on her fries. “You should just ask him out, you’ve been pining for ages.”

“I’m not pining,” he huffed, irritated, and the redhead smirked, raising a perfectly manicured brow.

“Right, yearning might be more accurate. Bruce?” She glanced at their other friend who scratched his chin, pretending to think about it.

“I think obsessing sounds more like it. Rhodey?”  

“Fuck you guys,” he barked before they could keep the game going, and all three laughed at him. Someone got up from Peter’s table and he caught a glimpse of his beautiful face, their eyes made contact for half a second and Tony looked away.

“No, but seriously, Tones. Just go talk to him, he’s a great guy, I’m sure he wouldn’t be an ass about it.” Bruce adjusted his glasses and said that like it was simple. Like he would have the guts to do it if he was in Tony’s position – he wouldn’t, he’d pined for Thor, an exchange student, for a year, and never worked up the courage to ask him out. The guy went back to Norway or whatever and Bruce never even said hi to him.

“I know, of course he wouldn’t, but I don’t wanna be one of those people begging for his attention, just look at that.” He pointed at the little crowd around him, people were almost literally fighting for his attention, the poor guy could barely finish his lunch. “It’s ridiculous.”

“Yeah, but you’re not them,” Natasha said that like it was the most obvious thing in the world and Tony frowned.

“How am I different?”

“You’re a certified genius, you and him have similar interests and you look hot in a ‘I’m gonna fuck  you raw in the back of my car’ kinda way. I don’t know, maybe he’s into that.” The redhead shrugged, again, saying all that like it was obvious and an unquestionable truth.

“Yeah, right, sounds just like him,” Tony scoffed.

Peter was perfect in so many ways – perfect face, perfect body, perfect grades, Tony was sure he pooped out candy or something – of course he wouldn’t go for a guy like him. He had a bad reputation, he was in detention more often than not and people in general considered him an asshole – all because he didn’t partake in their little games of social climbing or whatever. No, Peter wouldn’t go for his grungy ass. He’d probably go for all American, apple pie, boy-next-door Steve Rogers.

“No, she’s right, I’ve seen him looking at you several times.” Bruce pointed out, not for the first time, and Tony scoffed.

“Oh, yeah? When?”

“AP chemistry class. I’m his lab partner, remember?” How could Tony forget? As Mr. Erskine called out their names, Tony prayed to a God he didn’t even believe in that he’d be paired up with Peter, but no such luck. “He stares at you whenever he has a chance or an excuse. You know, when you blow things up, for example.”

“Yeah, which is why he must stare, he must be afraid for his life.” Tony hated to admit that he was way more prone to causing explosive accidents when Peter was in the room. It was fucking embarrassing.

He sighed, drinking the last of his coke. No matter what his friends said, he knew he didn’t stand a chance with Peter. He was… Untouchable. He was too good for him, Tony wasn’t even sure he’d want to taint him if he had a chance –  no, scratch that, he definitely would.

He chose to watch him from afar, allowing himself a few fantasies and daydreams. He had this really stupid and lame one, where he walked up to Peter in the hall, people just parted to let him through, then he gave him his trademark, lopsided grin and asked him out. Peter smiled brightly up at him, holding his books to his chest, cheeks flushed, eyelashes fluttering as he whispered a shy “yes” and leaned up to kiss him. Yeah. That was the whole fantasy.

Peter was so untouchable to him that he didn’t even dare to dream further than that. Of course when he was alone in his room, late at night, relieving himself, a few… less pure fantasies popped up unsolicited, but he felt so guilty then, dirty even, like he was disrespecting him somehow. It was all very confusing, but he still came, shamefully, to the thought of his beautiful face scrunched up in pleasure as dream-Tony fucked him.

The bell rang and everyone hurried to get to their next period, Peter was no different, he gathered his things and stood up, looking around the cafeteria like he was looking for someone. Their eyes met again for a second, but Tony quickly looked away, grabbing his backpack in a hurry to leave.

It was Thursday, the worst day of the week for him, none of his friends were free to hang out with him until later, so he either had to head home and deal with Howard or he had to find somewhere to be for a couple of hours, until Rhodey was done with football practice so they could go to his place. That day, Tony decided to just stay by his car, smoking a cigarette and singing along to Black Sabath’s Iron Man, it wasn’t like he had anywhere to go. He was so distracted watching the smoke dissipate into thin air that he didn’t notice when someone approached, and jumped almost a foot in the air when they spoke.

“Aren’t you afraid of getting caught smoking on school grounds?” Tony almost dropped dead when he registered the angelic voice. He was already having a heart attack as it was, but the boy was so close and he had that beautiful smile in place, blushing cheeks and all. It took almost a full minute for him to calm himself down.  

“I won’t tell if you don’t.” The older teen answered when he finally found his voice and got his breath under control enough not to make a fool of himself. Peter smiled wider, biting his lower lip.

“Your secret is safe with me.” He fake whispered, leaning a little into the older boy’s space and he almost choked on nothing. Peter’s smell was inebriating, expensive and sweet, but not overly so – perfect. He recomposed himself quickly, though, and nodded, but didn’t say anything else. He wasn’t sure why Peter was talking to him and, frankly, he was too fucking nervous to think of anything cool to say. The younger teen deflated a little faced with Tony’s silence; he looked around, seeming a little lost. “You’re Tony, right?”

Fuck, the way he said his name. His name. It was fucking music to his ears, the most beautiful tune. But how did he even know his name? Sure, he was Tony Stark, so not really anonymous, but people often forgot about it.

“Yeah. And you’re Peter.” Tony didn’t play games, he didn’t even try to pretend like he didn’t know who Peter was. It would be dumb anyway, everybody knew him. The other boy nodded shyly, it looked like he wanted to say something else, but he kept biting his lips and looking around nervously. Tony frowned. “Is everything okay?”

“No. I mean, yeah, sure, it’s fine, it’s just, uhm. I have a flat tire and the wheel bolts are really tight and I couldn’t get them off, so I thought – I mean, could you, uh –“ He gestured wildly as he stuttered out his answer, looking in the general direction of his flashy, cherry red sports car. “I mean, it’s okay if you’re busy, but I –“

“Sure, I’ll help, don’t worry.” Tony threw his cigarette butt on the ground and stepped on it. He was a little more at ease now that he knew why Peter was talking to him – he just needed help – and the best thing was, Tony was really good with cars. Of course, one didn’t need to have a PhD in mechanics to change a tire, but it still made him feel really good that he would be able to help properly.

“Thanks, you’re a life saver.” The chirpy attitude was back, as well as the smile, it made Tony’s heart flutter. He nodded sharply, looking away from his face, and gestured for Peter to lead the way.

When they reached his car, Tony whistled lowly, crouching down to look at the completely flat tire, as he tried to find the source of the problem. He was surprised to notice a two-inch cut on the surface of it, and it didn’t seem accidental.

“Fuck, Peter, it looks like someone sliced your tire.” When he looked up at the younger boy, he didn’t look surprised, but nervous. It was an odd reaction. Tony wondered if Peter already knew that – maybe he knew who did it and was scared of them? It made Tony’s blood boil. Why would anyone do that to Peter?

“Wh-what? How do you know that?” He bit his lower lip nervously, scratching his arm, and Tony frowned, worried.

“Here, look.” He gestured for Peter to crouch down next to him and pointed at the cut. “This is clearly a stab mark. Judging by the size and shape of it, I’d say this was probably done with a pocketknife.”

“Oh. Yeah, of course. Clearly.” He face-palmed, like he felt stupid, maybe for not seeing it before, but Tony still worried.

“If you want, I could go with you to the administration. We can ask them to check the security cameras. I think that one might have caught whoever did this.” He pointed at a security camera nearby, Tony knew where all of them were in the parking lot area – he’d been caught smoking way too many times not to know.

“What? There are –? I mean, look, it’s okay, it’s probably just someone trying to play a prank, it’s no big deal, it’s fine.” He stood up quickly, shaking his head, and Tony was positive he felt threatened somehow, he was acting so weird.

“If you’re sure… But if you change your mind, I’ll go with you, ok?” Tony stood up and took off his leather jacket. The weather was nice, just a bit chilly, so he was wearing a thin, white t-shirt with short sleeves underneath. He thought he heard Peter’s breath hitch for a second, but it was probably just his imagination. “Can you hold this for me?” He held out his jacket and the boy blushed, blinking rapidly.

“S-sure.”

Tony bit his bottom lip to refrain from asking, again, if everything was fine. Peter looked so freaking nervous, he was even sweating a little at the temples. Tony was positive he knew who did that to his car, but didn’t want to tell him for some reason. Maybe he wanted to protect whoever did it, maybe it was a boyfriend, or an ex. He gritted his teeth, hands closing in fists, but didn’t say anything, just crouched down and got to work.

The first bolt came off easily, it wasn’t tight at all, so he thought maybe Peter had already loosened it when he tried earlier. The second and third ones came off just as easily, though, only the fourth one was a little trickier, but nothing the younger teen couldn’t have handled himself. Tony thought maybe he hadn’t tried too hard, maybe he was afraid the person who did that would show up or something. He was so glad he was there to help, he wondered if Peter felt safe with him around, and the thought made him feel oddly proud and protective of him.

He made quick work of changing the tires, making sure not to screw the bolts too tight, then put the sliced one in the trunk of the car. When he turned around to look at Peter, he was looking intently at him, almost hypnotized, holding his jacket close to his chest like it was a puppy.

“All done.” Tony smiled and the boy seemed to snap out of a trance.

“Oh, thank you so much, really, you’re too kind.” He smiled broadly and the older teen scratched the back of his neck sheepishly.

“Don’t mention it.” They were silent for a few seconds after that, but Peter kept holding his jacket and didn’t make any move to give it back to him. “Uhm, could I–?” He gestured towards the jacket and again the boy jumped up in surprise.

“Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, here.” He handed it to him and quickly crossed his empty arms over his chest. “So, uhm,… Your dad is having a gala this weekend, right? Are you gonna be there?” Ah, so Peter did know who he was, not just his first name. The older teen leaned against the car and stuck his hands in his pockets, shrugging.

“Not if I can help it.” He smirked, trying to act cool, but now that he didn’t have anything to do with his hands, he was growing nervous.

“Oh,” Peter looked… disappointed? He dropped his gaze to the floor, shuffling his feet, and Tony stood up straight, frowning.

“Why?”

“Nothing, it’s just – my parents are going, so I thought I’d tag along to, you know... but it’s okay.” He kicked an imaginary rock and avoided Tony’s eyes. The older teen stared at him with wide eyes, heart beating fast – what was the end of that sentence? Peter couldn’t possibly mean–

“I don’t – what, you’d go to, like, hang out with me or something?” He felt stupid when he stumbled on the words, but Peter didn’t seem to notice, his cheeks were burning red and he was looking anywhere else but at Tony.

“I mean, you must have much better things to do, of course, I was just –” He chuckled nervously, scratching the back of his head, finally looking up at Tony. “Sorry, just forget about it, I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“No, wait!” He rushed to interrupt him and Peter looked back at him with huge, Bambi eyes. Tony coughed awkwardly, blushing a little. “I mean, like, uhm… If you – would you wanna go as my date? To the gala?” He blurted out, finally, because what the hell. The worst that could happen was Peter say no, and he could deal with it. He would survive, for sure. It wouldn’t be a big deal. Really. It wouldn’t.

But he didn’t say no, he smiled broadly, eyes twinkling in excitement.

“I’d love to!” He answered quickly, and Tony’s heart fluttered, Peter looked genuinely happy.  “Could you – uhm, text me what color of tie you’ll be wearing? If you want! I understand if you think it’s lame, but I thought–”

“No, it’s fine.” His heart was beating so loud, Peter Fucking Parker wanted to coordinate ties with him, it was fucking corny and cliché and he loved it. “Uhm, here, give me your number.” He fished his phone from his back pocket and gave it to the younger teen.

“Cool.” Peter typed in his number and as soon as he gave his phone back, Tony sent him a smiley face so he would have his number, too. “Cool, cool, cool...” He rocked on the balls of his feet and looked around, like he was looking for something else to say.

“So… Do you have to be home soon or…?” Tony stuck his hands in his pockets again, wondering if maybe he was pushing his luck, but Peter shook his head quickly.

“Not really, no, my parents don’t really mind what time I get home as long as I let them know. You?”

“They don’t really care.” He shrugged, taking one step closer to Peter. “So… are you hungry, by any chance?”

“I’m starving.” He nodded, looking up at Tony in anticipation. It drove the butterflies in his stomach crazy.

“I know a place where they serve great burgers. We could go in my car and I could drop you off here on our way back, I’m just a little worried someone is gonna try to fuck up your car again. I mean, what if they’re targeting you or something?” Just the mention of what happened earlier made Peter nervous. He stuck his hands in the pockets of his bomber jacket and shook his head.

“Oh, don’t worry about it, I’m sure it’s fine.” He didn’t look worried, though, at least not anymore.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, trust me, I am.” Tony found the sudden change odd, but thought maybe he was just trying to play it cool, so he let it go.  

“Okay, then, c’mon, my car is right there,” Tony gestured to his car and Peter smiled, taking his hands off his pockets. When he did, though, something slipped out and fell to the ground with a metallic noise. Tony quickly crouched down to get it for him, when he noticed what it was. “Wh – is that…?” He frowned, examining the pocketknife as if it was alien material. He was confused at first, because Peter didn’t seem like the kind of guy to carry one around, but then it dawned on him. When he looked at the younger teen, his face was so red it looked like he was about to explode.

“Uhm… If I told you I’ve never seen this before in my life would you believe it?” He chuckled nervously, scratching his arm, as Tony stood up. The older teen raised a brow at him.”Sorry, I just – I wanted an excuse to talk to you.” He said quietly, dropping his gaze.

“You know, you could have gone with the weather or whatever.” Tony answered, amused, and it made the younger boy look up at him.

“You’re just very intimidating,” He looked at him with huge, scared eyes, and Tony cocked his head to the side.

“Me?” He raised a brow.

“Yeah.” Peter answered pointedly, and Tony smirked, offering him his knife back.

“You do realize you just sliced your own tire so you’d have an excuse to talk to me, right? And I’m intimidating?” He joked, but Peter didn’t seem to find it funny. He winced and covered his face with his hands, clearly embarrassed.

“You must think I’m such a freak,” He groaned, voice muffled by his palms.

“Hey, hey, yes, I do think you’re a freak.” He grabbed Peter’s thin wrists and marveled at how perfectly they fit in his hands. He definitely saved that thought for later. “But you’re a really cute one.” He grinned and Peter chuckled, a delicate flush rising onto his cheeks.

“I feel stupid.” He admitted, worrying his bottom lip, but Tony shook his head, working up the nerve to cup Peter’s face in his hand.

“I feel flattered,” He said, honestly, and Peter’s breath hitched. He stared up at Tony, eyelashes fluttering, moist, pink lips slightly open. The older teen leaned down slowly and when the Peter closed his eyes, their lips touched. Just like in his fantasies, Peter tasted sweet, his lips were soft and his arms circled Tony’s neck in a warm embrace. When they parted, Tony smiled down at him, stroking his blushing cheek. “Just promise that if this doesn’t work out you won’t, like, key my car or something.”

“Oh, God,” he groaned, but they both laughed out loud, as they walked hand in hand across the parking lot.