#it’s an idea that’s been sat in my docs for two years but I had some INSANE themes in there

[hella1975]

GIRL WDYM DAZAI WIP??????

DAZAI WIP!!!

[that-sarcastic-writer]

Terms and Conditions

Russell Shaw X F!Doctor!Reader

Summary: when your sister's fiance goes missing, you call Colter for help, and he brings along his rugged, but handsome and charming older brother, Russell.

Warnings: mature content, eventual smut so minors dni (always), no use of y/n, this part only contains cursing. I've never written anything so tame (it's okay next part won't be)

WC: 3.6k

A/N: so I finished tracker, yay and Russell owns my thoughts rn so here we are. I'm not exactly sure where I'm going with this. I'm not great at writing series, but this idea called for development I can't do in a one-shot. I started this right after finishing tracker last week and I finally had time to proof read it. I also had a hard time with Russell's characterization, mans been in only one episode, so if i didnt portay him perfectly sorry i tried. Happy readings.

I don't do tag lists, if you'd like keep up with upcoming parts follow @midnightreadinglibrary and turn on notifications (I only reblog my written works on there)

You have encountered a lot of grief and sorrow in your life. Pain, you were familiar with it. And you could safely say that one of the worst was heartbreak. You were all too familiar with that one. And right now, your baby sister was experiencing it, too.

“Rosie?” You called into your apartment as you kicked your shoes off and tossed your keys like they had offended you. With a heavy sigh, tired from a long and stressful day at the hospital, you dragged your sore feet through your apartment. 

The living room was empty, TV off. The kitchen was dark with the lights off. You frowned, calling your sister’s name, louder again. Couple seconds went by. Silence. You padded down the hall to the guest room. You could hear faint indistinct sounds. The closer you got to the guest room the clearer the sound became. It sounded like crying.

“Rosalie?” Your voice grew louder with concern as you opened the door to the bedroom, and there you saw your sweet baby sister, sobbing into her pillow. Your heart immediately sank and you rushed to her side. “Oh honey, it’s okay.”

You sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her into a hug. She held you tight as she cried. It broke your heart to see her like this.

“It’s not okay! He’s been gone for over a week!” She sobbed. You squeezed her shoulders as she sat up and sniffled. “Our wedding is in three months! Why hasn't he come back?”

You stared into her eyes, the same color as your own and you sighed, only being able to give her a look of sympathy in return. You didn’t want to tell her what you thought.

“I dunno.. I mean.. What if he just.. You know?” The look on your face said everything you couldn’t with words, and Rosie looked like she wanted to cry even more.

“He didn’t bail. He wouldn’t… I know him. He's missing, why won’t anyone believe me?” She raised her voice, almost choking on a sob, and you immediately felt so horrible for even suggesting such a thing. 

“No, hey, I’m sorry for saying that, I do believe you. Have you heard anything from the cops?” She shook her head and you sighed heavily. 

“I can’t keep waiting, what if he got hurt? What if someone hurt him? Please, I need to do something.” She begged you, eyes filled with tears, you had never seen your sister so sad, so hopeless. She was always the more bubbly, optimistic and lively out of the two of you. But ever since her fiance went missing, you didn’t see that spark anymore. It broke your heart.

“Hey, it’s going to be okay. I think I know someone who can help, alright? We’ll find him.” 

~~~~~~~

“Hey Doc, to what do I owe this call? It’s been like what, three years?” 

You sighed softly at the voice on the other line. You didn’t exactly want to resort to this, but you didn’t know what else to do, but you had the money, your sister didn’t exactly have a lot to spare with her wedding planning, and all.

“I need a favor, Colter. Well, not exactly a favor, I’ll pay but, I need help asap.” You rubbed the side of your throbbing temple, you heard him hum, telling you to go on. “My sister’s fiance went missing last week. They’re supposed to get married in three months, and the poor thing is a wreck.”

Colter sighed. “A runaway groom? You know what that sounds like, right?”

“Yes, I know. But I know this guy, he’s a decent guy, and I know he loves my sister, he wouldn’t just leave her like this.” You tried to explain, Colter sighed again. “Listen, the guy was in the Army, he’s a Navy SEAL now, went overseas a lot, and my sister told me he’s been acting weird since his last assignment. Just humor me, please? I can’t see her like this.”

Colter stayed silent for a long minute, you honestly thought he had hung up, but you ultimately heard him take a deep breath before responding. “Fine, send me his details, I should get there by morning if I head out now.” 

“Thank you.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~

Chaos, chaos and more chaos.

You just wanted five minutes to breathe. You sat down, for the first time in hours today and took in a deep breath. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Rosie, almost zombie-like as she walked through the emergency department  You called out to her.

“Hey, did you get some sleep?” You asked her with worried eyes. She shrugged. “Listen, I called an old friend, he helps find people. Maybe he can find James, ‘cause the cops clearly aren’t going to.” You saw the smallest smile, and the smallest bit of hope light of her eyes.

“Really? What, is he like a PI or something?” She tilted her head at you, seemingly just as exhausted as you were.

“I mean..” You hesitated, unsure on how to explain Colter’s job to her. “I guess? He collects reward money. When someone goes missing and a reward is offered, he finds people for that reward.”

“But I didn’t offer any reward. I can’t even afford to buy a pair of shoes right now.. On my shitty nurse salary. I’ve already spent so much of my savings on planning the wedding. And these student loans are killing me. I can’t pay him.” She started to ramble in panic, motioning her hands around. You stood up and grabbed her hands.

“It’s fine. I got it covered. Take it as your early wedding gift?” You flashed her a toothy smile, hoping to humor her at least a little. She looked at you with apprehension. “Not a word, okay? I want him to come home to you, I don’t mind spending some money if it means you can be happy.”

She could have the happiness you never could.

Rosie’s eyes filled with tears and you thought she was going to burst into tears in the middle of the emergency department, but instead she hugged you, and she hugged you so fucking hard you thought she broke one of your ribs. You laughed softly and patted her head reassuringly. You were about to say something to her but you heard your name being called. You turned around and saw one of the rotation nurses.

“You have visitors at the front desk.” She told you. You scrunched up your face in confusion.

“Who? I wasn't expecting anyone.”

“Don’t know. The front desk just said two guys asked for you directly.”

Oh. Colter. But who was the other guy?

‘Alright, thanks.” You nodded at her. You then looked at Rosie with a warm reassuring smile and you held her hands in yours. “We’re gonna find James, I know it. I’ll let you know when my friend wants to meet with you, he normally likes to talk with the missing person’s closest relative. Try to focus on work alright?” 

You left her with that, hoping she would trust you. And you hoped you could trust Colter. With a heavy sigh you walked to the front desk of the emergency department. And there you saw Colter, hands in his pockets as he talked with another man you didn’t recognize. With a bit of skepticism, you approached both men, letting your presence be known with a clear of your throat. They both turned to look at you, Colter with a warm welcoming smile, but the other guy, who was arguably the hottest man you had ever seen in your life—not that it was relevant—looked at you like a deer in headlights, like starstruck.

“Hey Colter,” you gave him a cordial smile, then you looked at his slightly shorter companion, though both men were still a good head taller than you. “And Colter’s friend. Didn’t know you had a partner.”

“I don’t. This is—”

“Russell. Colter’s more handsome and charming older brother.” Russell interrupted, extending a hand to you. You looked at Colter, who looked less than impressed and you couldn’t help but snort a bit.

“I see the flirty nature is a family thing then?” You took Russell’s hand with a small laugh but you quickly swallowed when you felt the warmness of his large hand as it engulfed your smaller one. You weren’t really laughing then. You made eye contact with Russell, you had never seen a pair of prettier eyes, a breathtaking shade of green, and an intensity that was equally breathtaking. It didn’t help that he was smiling at you, too. 

You cleared your throat and took your hand back, choosing to look at Colter instead, “So uh, what’s the plan?”

“Right, well, first things first, I need more details about this James, think you could take an early lunch? I would also need to talk to your sister as soon as possible.” 

You chewed on your bottom lip, catching a glimpse of your watch before ultimately nodding, “Yeah, just give me an hour. We can meet at this cafe nearby, I’ll send you the address. You can meet with my sister after her shift. She’s been staying with me.”

They looked at each other for a second, shrugged then nodded at you. These two were definitely brothers. 

~~~~~~~~

You were frantic as you pulled into the cafe, running late after a code blue that took up almost the whole hour to get under control. You were sure that you looked like a mess, still in your scrubs, pieces of hair falling out of your bun as you entered the cafe. You were almost embarrassed that Russell was going to see you like this, you didn’t care too much about Colter, though. When you entered you saw them sitting at a booth, two cups of coffee sitting on the table but no food. You felt a bit bad. Colter noticed you and waved you over, making Russell turn his head to look at you. And somehow he didn’t seem to care about how wild you looked. 

“I’m so sorry. I had a code blue. I hope I didn’t waste your guy’s time.” You said almost frantic, barely able to catch your breath. You unconsciously sat next to Russell, who seemed quite happy about that.

“Nonsense. We were actually waiting for you to order, right Colt?” Russell reassured, and when you turned your head to look at him he was smiling at you, a toothy smile that made the corners of his eyes wrinkle a tiny bit, it was kind of cute, actually. 

“Yep. Russell insisted we waited. Even though we haven't eaten anything in over six hours.” Colter sighed sipping on his coffee. 

“Well at least one of you has manners.” You narrowed your eyes at Colter, and you heard Russell rumble a laugh.

“Y’know what? Let’s just focus on the case, okay?” You held back a laugh and simply nodded, trying to ignore the intoxicating scent of Russell beside you, a mixture of bourbon and sandalwood. 

Colter asked you a million questions, ones you had answers to, and others didn’t, which was probably best if he talked to your sister, too. Your food also arrived quickly, which you were thankful for since you hadn’t had anything other than the Keurig coffee from the doctors lounge. 

“So, you said James was in the army?” You nodded as you munched on a fry. “And is Navy SEAL now?” 

“Yeah, he went overseas every month or so. But after his last assignment a few weeks ago he told my sister about getting out.” You answered as you bit into your cheeseburger. You didn’t often like to indulge in greasy heavy foods, but you were beyond stressed from both work and your sister, so you needed some joy in your life.

“He wanted out? Why?” Russell asked beside you. You shrugged.

“I don’t know. One thing or another about being tired of being on the battlefield, wanting to be home more. Or that’s what Rosie told me.” You answered as you munched on your burger. You thought for a few seconds before speaking again. “But if you ask me, I think something went wrong in his last assignment. Rosie said he didn’t speak to her for a whole day after coming home, and that he was constantly on edge and irritable for weeks leading up to his disappearance.” 

“Maybe. Might be worth looking into.” Colter shrugged as he took a bit out of his sandwich. “You think we’d be able to look into his assignments overseas?” He asked Russell.

“Doubt it. If they’re classified, which most likely they are, they’d either have little to no paper trail, or they would be heavily secured.” Russell said with a mouthful of fries, which Colter clearly disapproved of. But Russell paid no mind to it, his attention was all on you.

“How do you know?” You asked Russell with genuine curiosity. He half grinned a bit.

“I used to be in the Army too. Spec ops. That's why Colter brought me along.” Russell explained, and you almost wanted to sigh out loud. “So I know damn well how secretive some of those overseas assignments can be. Most are black-ops and off the books. It’d be hard to find the files.” 

So much for tall, rugged and handsome. Guess you’re going to have to look from afar.

‘Well fuck. That sounds lovely.” You mumbled into your burger, annoyed and frustrated. Russell actually laughed this time.

“You know that burger isn’t gonna run away, right?” He chuckled at the way you were so aggressively stuffing your face. Colter narrowed his eyes at his older brother and kicked him under the table. “Okay, ow.” 

“Mind your business? Also, you have no room to talk dude.” You scoffed, eyeing his sriracha covered fries with disgust. “That’s actually fucking criminal.”

“Well, this one has a mouth on her. And here I was trying to be a gentleman.” He chuckled, playful grin on his face as he shoved a particularly heavily sriracha-covered fry in his mouth while you watched. “Don’t knock it ‘til you try it, sweetheart.” 

You stared at him with an indescribable feeling. You didn’t remember the last time a man had this much of an effect on you. Sure, in your mind it didn’t do him any favors that he used to be in the military, but you’d gladly break your own rule for just a little taste of him. He was a little rugged, sure, but he was undeniably handsome and carried himself with an alluring sense of self confidence. And the way he smiled at you, God, it made you feel like a schoolgirl, warm and tingly. You didn’t remember the last time a man looked at you like that, either.

“Can we focus here?” Colter, the ever present voice of reason. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Who woulda thought, you look even more beautiful without the scrubs.” Those were the first words out of Russell’s mouth when you opened the door. You had told them to stop by in the evening after Rosie’s shift so they could talk to her. 

“Russell,” Colter sighed, looking at his brother with annoyance but Russell simply smiled, unapologetically proud of himself. They both looked at you, you were trying so hard not to smile right now. “Alright, is Rosie home?”

“Yeah, she’s in the living room. Come in.” You shook your head softly as you allowed both brothers into your apartment. 

You led them to the living room, you caught Russell looking around with curiosity. Maybe he was trying to figure you out, figure out how to get on your good side. But he otherwise didn’t say anything. 

“Rosie, the guys I told you about are here.” You called out to her and she immediately shot up to her feet and rushed to your side. You looked at her, poor thing looked like she had been crying again. “This is Colter, the tracker, and that’s his brother, Russell. They’re going to help us, okay? Colter just needs to ask you a few questions about James.”

Rosie was nodding profusely, “Anything, I’ll tell you everything you want to know. Just help me find him? Please?” 

Colter led her to the couch, perhaps she’d feel safer if she was comfortable. You didn’t want to intrude, you probably weren’t needed right at this time, anyway.

“I’m going to get you guys something to drink.” You announced, wanting to give them some privacy. 

“I’ll help.” Russell piped up and you looked at him with curiosity, he simply smiled at you. You didn’t bother to question him.

You went into the kitchen, Russell was close behind you. You could feel his intense gaze burn into the back of your head as you rummaged through your fridge. You tried to ignore it.

“Beer?” You asked, glancing over your shoulder at him. 

“Sure.” 

You grabbed three beers from the fridge and Rosie’s iced tea. You handed Russell his beer before moving around your kitchen to grab a glass cup from the cupboard. You poured the iced tea into the cup before turning around to find Russell still looking at you, with wonder, and maybe something else you couldn’t quite decipher. 

“So what’s your deal?” He asked you as he sipped his beer. You tilted your head at him and furrowed your eyebrows.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, yeah you’re clearly a kick-ass doctor, and a caring sister but, what else is there? I don’t see any pets, surely no kids, no pictures on the walls, minimal decor, hopefully no boyfriend,” You laughed at the last part. “So, what are you about?”

“Right, well uh,” you chuckled softly, awkwardly sipping on your beer as you leaned on the counter. You shrugged. “I’m a doctor who works sixty-plus hours a week, I have zero social life, I’m not home nearly enough to have a pet. And I certainly have no time for the nonsense of men my age. But hey, if you want to know what I’m about, it’ll take more than just shitty beer and a kitchen conversation to figure me out.”

Russell smiled. Genuinely smiled. But it was a different kind of glint, like he was amused, impressed almost. He chuckled as he nodded, stepping to stand in front of you. You straightened up, looking up at him.

“Surely you’d have time to get a drink with me sometime then? I don’t know if I’m your age but I can assure you I’m not going to waste your time. Would love to try and figure you out while I’m here.” He bit his bottom lip, eyebrows raised and green eyes big with expectancy. 

Yes—said the warmth between your legs.

No—said your rational mind.

“Russell…” Your voice was a warning, apprehensive as you chewed on your bottom lip. “I don’t think I should be going on dates while my sister’s fiance is missing.” 

“It’s her fiance that’s missing, not yours.” He chuckled. You knew he didn’t mean to sound mean, or mocking but you scoffed softly, moving away from him. His words hit you in ways he could never know.

“I don't do… That. Y’know, dating? Or hookups. I don’t do romance, period.” You argued, hands on your hips. He tilted his head at you, eyebrows raised as he looked at you with that indescribably charming look of his. God, did he make it hard to say no.

“Don’t have to be anything. I’m not expecting anything. Just drinks, no strings attached, we’ll see where the night takes us, yeah?” He made a very compelling argument, and his unwavering confidence and charm was hard to resist.

Truly, you didn’t remember the last time you felt so tempted to go on a date with someone, and it wasn’t for lack of trying. From coworkers to patients have made advances you’ve always easily turned down. But Russell? You didn’t feel like you wanted to turn him down. You gave in so easily.

“Whadaya say?”

“Yeah, okay. Just drinks. We’ll see what happens. But don’t get any funny ideas, okay?” You warned him. He chuckled but ultimately raised his hands up in defense when you narrowed your eyes at him.

“I am a gentleman, sweetheart. I know how to behave in front of a pretty girl.”

Your concern was if you could behave in front of a hot guy. Especially when he was as hot as Russell.

[letstalkhockey]

𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐉𝐚𝐜𝐤.

����𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: Sometimes people wait too late, and lose the opportunity. So what happens when Jack and Y/n find themselves in that exact position?

Y/n, being Jacks long-time bestfriend, has been in-love with the boy forever. What happens when she’s about to get married to another man?

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: cursing, not proofread, other than that just pure angst and sadness ): (poor jack)

-Hi loves💕 I’ve missed Tumblr, and being on it with you all, but in my recent free time I took some time to write this fanfic, I haven’t decided on what I will be doing as of right now, I’m still staying away from my blog, but for now here’s this! Sorry it is not the most detailed, I haven’t wrote in awhile. Love you all. Xoxo

“Don’t marry him.” 

“What?” 

Taken aback, your head turned at the boy who sat next to you on the doc, his legs up too his chest whilst he held a beer in his hand. The only light making things visible was the bright light reflecting from the moon and whatever lights had been on the railings of the doc. The warm breeze of the mid-summer air blew over your bare legs that hung over the doc, your feet grazing above the water. 

“Don't marry him y/n.”

This time, you'd heard the boy much clearer, although you couldn't help the way your mind went blank.

You shook your head, not being able to hold back a laugh, “No- no, Jack. you don't get to do this to me.” You stood up from where you'd sat. Twas the night before your wedding, Which was being held in Michigan, your best friend Jack, and the rest of the Hughes family were kind enough to allow you and your fiance, Brad, to stay with them for the wedding at the lake house. Even throwing a party for the two of you just a few hours prior. 

And that's what brought you too now, sitting on the dock of the lake house, with your long-time best friend, Jack Hughes, whom you've loved ever since he shared his juicebox with you during 2nd grade recess. Going through highschool years later, only sparked your feelings that you held back. After highschool, when Jack got drafted, that same night, you confessed your feelings. But of course, Jack being Jack, he brushed you off and acted like nothing happened. Not one of you has brought up that night since. Yet, it still haunts you to this day. 

But now, out of all times, he decides to tell you not to marry the man you loved. The night before your wedding. 

“You're not doing this to me. Your not ruining My wedding.” You cry out, your arms flailing, Jack, placing his beer down, stood up in front of you. Looking at you with pleading eyes.

“Y/n-” 

You push him back by his chest, but he grabs ahold of both of your arms.

“No! No- no.” Tears filled your eyes, quick to roll down your cheeks. One of your biggest fears was for this too happen, and well won't you look at that.

“You had 3?- 3 Years! 3 whole years to tell me. To Tell me why I shouldn't marry him- and I wouldn't have. 3 Years and you didn't. It's too late Jack.” His eyes glossy, your cheeks stained. His mouth empty, yours filled with pain. 

You felt his grip loosen to either side of your arm.

“You don’t get to break my heart just because you can’t fix yours. I’m marrying him.”

He said nothing. For a good two minutes. It was silence, the only noise being the water splashing up against the shore

“I love you.” Jack whispered. 

“Your drunk.” You scoffed, eyes switching down to the beer bottle that sat next to his feet.

You wiped the tears off of your face, turning around and making your way up to the house from the doc. 

“I mean it- I’ve been in love with you since we were in highschool, and I- I’m an idiot for no telling you sooner-.” Jack said to you, but you continued to walk.

“I’ll see you at the wedding Tomorrow jack.” You yelled back. Your voice cracking.

He said nothing.

The rest of that night you spent awake, not only because of what Jack said, but also because now you weren’t sure if this wedding was a good idea. You loved him, but not the way you loved Jack.

“He’s not coming y/n,” Quinn spoke. The wedding music playing softly just past the door you stood behind with Quinn, and your bridesmaids.

He wasn’t seriously not going to show up, was he?

Quinn held his arm out for you to take. It was supposed to be Jack. He promised to walk you down the aisle.

The door opened, you looked around, no jack. Looking to your right, you watched as Quinn mouthed an ‘im sorry’, you have him a half heartedly smile, your eyes watering, grabbing onto his arm, which was supposed to be jack. 

Walking down the aisle, you watched your fiancé, the man whom you loved standing at the alter waiting for you. In that moment, you realized you may never love him the way you love Jack, but that he always loved you. More than jack ever did.

Fuck you, Jack.

[toboldlygohome]

Oblivious

Leonard McCoy x Reader

Summary: You are oblivious to all of Leonard's attempts to flirt and all of your friends think it's hilarious.

Character(s): Leonard "Bones" McCoy, James "Jim" Kirk, Spock, Nyota Uhura, Pavel Chekov, Hikaru Sulu

Warning(s): Slightly cringe attempts at flirting, Painfully oblivious reader, Stephen King references

Leonard was finally ready to move on. The divorce had left him with wounds he wasn't sure he could heal from. He hadn't been interested in dating for years afterward. But for the first time since then, someone had caught his attention.

You were the new head of Archaeology aboard the enterprise. You had been transferred from the USS Celine to assist in the 5 year mission. To say you were new wouldn't be exactly correct, you had been on board for about 6 months already. You had taken to the position well and were already good friends with everyone in your unit, as well as all of the bridge and command personnel.

Leonard knew he liked you the moment you met. You had a firm handshake, a killer smile, and when Captain Kirk asked if you were single, you told him it wasn't his business. Jim's stunned face when you shook his hand and walked away was priceless.

Of course there were far more reasons to admire you other than your ability to take the captain down a peg. You were incredible at your job, finding ancient ruins in the most unlikely of places. You were like a dog when it came to fossils, sniffing them out almost as soon as you landed on alien soil. You were smart and always ready to answer questions. You were also highly tolerant of people's mistakes, something that was slowly rubbing off on him. When you were around, Leonard found he had more patience for stupidity and everyone else noticed as well.

You were kind, you were a great listener, you were hilarious, you were dependable, considerate, honest, cheerful, and you could always be counted upon for some witty banter. Not to mention you were the most beautiful person Bones had ever seen in his life.

That's not to say you didn't have your downfalls too, everyone does after all. You were self deprecating, a little easily distracted, and of course you were the most painfully oblivious person in the universe.

~~~

It all started one morning at breakfast. You were sitting in the cafeteria with Jim, Nyota, and Spock.

Leonard had made his decision the previous night while drinking with Jim. Bones wanted to pursue a relationship with you, but he wasn't going to just tell you point blank. He wanted to gauge your interest before taking that leap of faith.

"Mornin'" Leonard said as he sat down beside you. "Jim, you look terrible."

Jim, who was still hung over from the night before, frowned at the doctor. "Gee, thanks. I had no idea."

"You're welcome. Now Y/N on the other hand, you look great this morning," Bones smirked. Jim and Nyota immediately perked up, clearly not expecting him to be so forward (especially not this early in the morning.)

"Thanks Doc," You smiled at him and returned your attention to your oatmeal.

"What's your secret?" Asked Bones upon deciding that your smile was a good sign.

"My secret?" You raised an eyebrow.

"To looking so good every morning," he clarified. Nyota and Jim looked at each other incredulously.

"Ummmm," You thought out loud. "Get good sleep, take your vitamins, and don't get wasted at two in the morning." You patted Jim's shoulder and stood up with your empty bowl. "I better get to the lab, see you guys later!" You grinned.

Everyone bid you a good morning before gawking at Leonard, amusement etched on their faces. "What's your secret? Did you seriously ask 'what's your secret?'"Jim cackled.

"Leonard, you seriously need to up your flirting game." Uhura barely stifled a giggle.

"I know it's been awhile doc but seriously, that was terrible! And I've heard Spock's attempts at flirting," Kirk snickered.

"It wasn't that bad, y'all are acting like I'm some cretin who stole their oatmeal and called it flirting. I called them attractive, get off my back." Leonard rolled his eyes.

"No, you said they looked good. That could be interpreted in, so many ways. As far as flirting goes, that was pretty pathetic." Nyota said.

"I would have to agree doctor, perhaps you could take instruction from the captain or even-" Spock started.

"Shut up and eat your breakfast," Leonard snapped, causing another fit of giggles around him.

Bones sat there, glaring into his eggs, trying to figure out where he went wrong. The more he thought about it, the more likely it seemed that Uhura was right. You didn't realize he meant it in a romantic way. Maybe he was more out of practice than he thought. He was just going to have to give it another shot. Practice makes perfect after all.

~~~

The next day, Leonard tried a different approach. Coffee mug in hand, he made his way to your office only to find it empty. He looked all over the labs, nowhere to be seen. It wasn't until made it up to the bridge that he found you deep in a discussion about landing sites for an upcoming mission.

Your head perked up when you saw the doctor come in from the turbolift. "Ahoy, McCoy! We missed you at breakfast this morning." you smiled as he came to stand beside you.

"Sorry darlin', had some gamma shift engineers to patch up." Bones casually passed the mug over to you. "Made you some coffee."

"Really? for me?" You peered into the cup and beamed, "thank you doctor, it's just how I like it!" Jim gave Leonard a subtle thumbs up while you sipped your drink.

Leonard had a good feeling this time. You were happy with the gesture and even Kirk seemed impressed. It felt like a good first step, until-

"First Chekov brings me a croissant, then McCoy brings me a coffee. I'm so lucky to have such great friends. Thank you guys!" You smiled at the two men.

"You are very welcome!" Pavel grinned.

Leonard's mood plummeted almost instantly. While he was glad you got to enjoy a croissant and a coffee, Chekov's untimely generosity made his romantic gesture seem more like a friendly one. He was going to have to go back to the drawing board.

You turned to the captain, cradling your warm cup in your hand. "Is there anything else you need of me Captain?"

"No Commander, I believe you've answered all my questions," Jim said.

"Wonderful! If anyone needs me, I'll be in the lab trying to decode some ancient texts," you took another sip of your coffee before strolling back to the turbolift.

Once you were out of sight, Jim patted Leonard on the arm. Sulu and Chekov were trying their damnedest not to laugh, and failing miserably of course.

Leonard furrowed his brows at the two of them before looking back at Jim's cheeky grin.

"You told them?" Leonard scowled.

"Told them what?" Jim laughed.

"About..." Leonard rolled his eyes and gestured to the turbolift.

"The only ones I told were Uhura and Spock," Jim assured.

"He didn't need to tell us anything, It's written all over your face Dr. McCoy," Sulu said.

"Yes, you get all red in the cheeks and you have this look in your eyes like you've seen the sun for the first time. It is very obvious you are vying for the Commander's attention," Chekov agreed.

"If I'm so obvious, why isn't Y/N picking up on it?" Leonard crossed his arms.

"Maybe you need a new approach, try... I don't know, making up new excuses to spend time with them. Or maybe you could try touching them," Jim suggested.

"Touching them?"

"Yeah, nothing inappropriate or anything. Just little things, like pats on the back, nudging their shoulder. Stuff like that. Might show Y/N you're interested without having to use the words, you know?"

"I don't know Jim..."

"Look, you're a doctor right?"

"I hope that'd be pretty goddamned obvious by now," Leonard glowered and put his hands on his hips.

"And as a doctor, you have a pretty good gauge on if someone's uncomfortable right?" Jim asked, "just try it and if you get the sense they're uncomfortable, just stop doing it. Easy as that."

"Why do I get the feeling it's not going to be as 'easy as that?'" The doctor shook his head.

"Because you are an incorrigible pessimist, Bones." Jim patted his shoulder.

"I'm done here, some of us actually have work to do," Leonard grumbled and trudged to the turbolift.

"All work and no play makes McCoy a dull boy," Kirk beamed.

"Quote Stephen King to me one more time. See what happens." Bones said as the doors closed. Alone in the elevator, he allowed himself to think about where to go from here. Perhaps Jim's ideas weren't so terrible. He rather liked the idea of spending more time with you. He usually talked with you during mealtimes and meetings, but not much outside of that. The touching is what was making him nervous.

He came into contact with people all the time, being a doctor was a very hands-on profession. He just didn't have Jim's level of confidence anymore. It felt ridiculous, he could stitch a man's thumb back to his hand and deliver an infant in the middle of a battle, but he couldn't touch your shoulder? Maybe he'd just skip that step for now. Quality time, that seemed like as good of a direction as any.

~~~

He continued bringing you coffee every day, It gave him more time to get to know you and Leonard was falling harder by the minute. He hadn't really looked forward to anything in a long time, but he looked forward to your coffee talks. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough anymore. The chats weren't long enough and you still weren't catching on to his feelings.

It had been a particularly stressful day, it felt like everyone needed something from him and he was in desperate need of a break. The moment things got quiet in the medbay, Leonard snuck away and his feet carried him to the archaeology labs.

It was quiet inside. A few ensigns were at work in their stations, putting together fossilized bones and carbon-dating old tools. Leonard found you in the back of the lab where you were busy decoding some old scrolls. Learning to understand a lost language was no easy task; Leonard couldn't fathom the amount of reading it would take to accomplish such a thing. Still, you seemed ready to take on anything the Captain dished out.

"Commander, I see you're hard at work," Bones smiled and came to stand beside you.

"I see you're not!" You joked and looked up at him from your seat. "What brings you to my neck of the woods doctor? Did I forget about an appointment?"

"Not at all, I was just taking a break and wanted to see how you were doing," he said, hoping you would understand what he was trying to say: that he was thinking of you and wanted to see you out of everyone else on the Enterprise.

"Well I'm really glad you're here Len, because I've just made a breakthrough!" You beamed. "Take a look at this," you motioned for him to look closer.

Leonard leaned in to look at your scroll. "So, you know how I found these papers in a box under the Mofeli excavation right?"

"Mhm, you insisted there must be a basement and you found one," Bones hummed.

"I originally thought the site was a business, that these papers must be some sort of documentation. You know, like land deeds, proof of insurance, perhaps even money. Basically stuff you would usually keep in a lock box, but these aren't ledgers or inventory slips or anything like that at all."

"What are they?" He turned to look at you.

You met his gaze and gave him a grin that could melt the ice caps and outshine Sirius. "They're love letters," you said and his heart hammered his chest painfully. He was only just now realizing how close he was to you. How his hand was resting on your back, how his face was mere inches from yours.

"See, if you look here you'll find this symbol all over the place in these letters. It's the symbol meaning love or lover. I've completed the translation on this one right here." You returned your attention to the paper. Leonard swallowed and glanced at the sheet, trying his damnedest not to stare like some creep.

"What, um... what does it say?" He cleared his throat.

"It says, and I'm paraphrasing here, 'My dearest love, I find words elude me. My heart blossoms for you under the light of the sun and keeps me warm when the light fades. I find not the courage to speak, but many a whim to write. I desire your embrace. I seek your song. I crave your hand. I covet your blazing eyes. One day I-' This part is all faded so I can't make it out, but the last thing it says here at the bottom is 'May our hearts and bodies be intertwined for eternity, and our souls may sing together as one.' Then there's what I assume to be a name at the bottom, but I'm not sure how to pronounce it."

"It all sounds a little sappy to me," Leonard joked in a slightly strained voice. This whole thing with the closeness and the touching and the letter was really affecting him. If you noticed his struggle, you gave no indication, In fact, you seemed perfectly at ease being this close to him.

"Hey, a little sap never hurt anybody," you elbowed him lightly in the side.

"Croakus sap can."

"Touché"

Leonard chucked softly and lightly patted your back before crossing his arms casually over his chest Your easy conversation was already helping him relax again. "so, Commander, you've been down here in your lab for an awfully long time. What do you say we go for a walk to the observation lounge?"

"Sorry doctor, I would but somebody's got to make sure the ensigns don't blow the place up. That, and Spock wants me to finish three more translations by the end of my shift," you explained.

"Of course he does," Leonard huffed.

"But I'm free this evening if that works for you?" You tilted your head.

"Of course, absolutely." Leonard had no idea if that was going to work for him, but he was going to make it work.

"Great, I'll see you then," you said with a surprising amount of enthusiasm.

"See you then. Don't work too hard," he smiled and left you to your translating.

Bones was pleased with himself. He had managed to follow Jim's suggestions and they appeared to work. He'd even managed to secure a date with you later that evening...Well...he hadn't actually called it a date when he suggested it. No matter, Leonard would just clarify all that the next time he saw you!

~~~

He never got to make the distinction that your walk was intended to be a date. You had brought a friend with you. Leonard could feel the fear in your ensign companion's eyes. Bones was sure everyone on the goddamned ship knew what he was trying to do but you. It was still a nice night despite the unwanted guest. He learned a lot about where you grew up, your interests, and your favorite films and music. He learned your favorite flower was the iris, your first job was a librarian, he even learned you were in a band during your time at the academy.

The more he learned, the more he liked you. He wasn't even sure if liked was the right word anymore. You had quite a few things in common. Your favorite foods, you liked the same movies, and you enjoyed the same music. You asked him questions that got him really thinking. They were the sort of topics you don't realize you have an opinion on until you start talking about them. But what surprised him most of all was when you asked about his daughter. What sort of interests does she have? How is she doing in school? I wonder if she would like X,Y, and Z. He was always hesitant to talk about Joanna or his ex, but it felt easier with you. Like that wound he had been carrying for so long was finally closing.

Your friendship progressed beautifully, but he felt like you were growing more and more blind to his advances. He had seen you turn plenty of people down before. If you weren't interested in someone, you made it abundantly clear. But you had yet to do the same with Bones. It wasn't just him: Jim, Nyota, Pavel, Scotty, Hikaru, and pretty much everyone else who knew you were puzzled as well. Even Spock couldn't understand how you were so incognizant. It was funny for them at first. They would laugh at every compliment you didn't register, every smile you didn't realize had meaning, every coffee, every walk to the deck, every deep conversation, every breath of relief when you come back from a mission. He was even so bold as to tell you in no uncertain terms that he'd do anything to make you smile.

The laughter turned into looks of pity. Leonard was about ready to give up. Maybe you weren't interested and you just wanted to let him down easy, you were good friends after all. Bones sat at the bar as Jim poured him another glass. Normally he was the one playing bartender, but Jim insisted he take over.

"I gotta say Bones, I really hate seeing you like this." Jim poured himself a drink too. "How did lunch go?"

"I told them they have beautiful eyes." Leonard sighed and shook his head.

"And?" The Captain probed.

"They said 'if only they worked as well as they look,'" Bones groaned.

"Ah..." Jim stared into his drink. He tried to put himself into Leonard's shoes. What would he do if he were in this situation?

"I don't know what I'm doing wrong..." McCoy muttered.

"You aren't doing anything wrong, Y/N just-" Jim started.

"It's something I'm doing, it has to be. Maybe this is a mistake."

"No, Bones it's not a mistake. That couldn't be farther from the truth."

"And how would you know? It's not like you have any problems finding dates," Leonard rolled his eyes.

"Seems like Y/N's not the only one who's oblivious," Kirk chuckled.

"I'm not in the mood for jokes Jim." Leonard took a sip of his whiskey and ran a hand over his face.

"Believe me Bones, I wish it were a joke. There's just no way the two most unaware people are head over heels for each other. I'm waiting for the punch line" James smirked.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Bones scowled.

"Look, just... we have shore leave coming up in a few weeks. Ask them on a date. Like really ask them. Be frank, be clear, make sure there is no way Y/N can misunderstand you. Trust me," Jim squeezed Leonard's shoulder.

"Fine. But if this goes south, you owe me as many drinks as it takes to forget this whole debacle." The doctor downed the last of his glass.

"Bones if this goes south, I'll eat my hat."

"You don't have a hat."

"Point still stands. It'll work, you just have to have a little faith. And lucky for you, I have enough faith for the both of us." Jim winked.

Leonard wished he had Jim's enthusiasm. Officious little prick, he thought to himself...Dammit, now I'm quoting Stephen King.

~~~

Shore leave was just around the corner and Leonard was no closer to his goal of asking you on a date. Everyone was running around, trying to prepare the ship for inspection, he still had his normal duties to attend to, neither of you had time for coffee all week, Spock was being especially nitpicky about protocol, and he was anxious about what you'd say when he eventually got around to asking the million dollar question.

Yeah, Leonard was about ready to lose his marbles.

He was prepping the supply storage units, when Spock strolled in for the tenth time that day.

"Dr. McCoy," Spock greeted, startling Bones to the point that he nearly dropped his box of gauze.

"My god man, what the hell do you need this time?" Leonard implored, "don't you have anything better to do with your day than pester me?"

"Indeed I do, doctor" Spock replied.

Leonard huffed and sat down his box, "then what is it, did you miss my face or something?"

"I saw your face only moments ago, I have no need to miss-"

"It was a joke Spock, what do you want?" Leonard pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I came to inform you that I saw Commander Y/L/N coming in this direction." Spock stated.

Leonard raised an eyebrow, "and?"

"It is my understanding you are anxious to speak with them regarding your-" Spock started.

"Your understanding is correct, I just..." Leonard sighed and shook his head.

"Would it help if I told you the odds that they will say yes?" Spock asked.

"Never tell me the odds Spock," Leonard grumbled.

"Then I will simply say, good luck." Spock turned and left again, leaving Bones to decide if he was ready for this. He didn't have time for a decision, because there you were in the doorway with two mugs in your hands.

"Hey, stranger," You laughed. "Looks like I got here just in time, you look like you need some." You handed over the cup and Leonard took it gratefully.

"Thanks," Leonard offered you a smile and took a sip from his mug. It was just how he liked it, right down to the temperature. Together, they retreated to the safety of his office. Once inside, they fell into their usual conversation. He waited until things got quiet, then he decided to go for it.

"So, got any plans for shore leave?" Leonard asked, leaning back in his chair in an effort to appear more at ease.

"No, not really. Maybe I'll visit with a couple friends, catch up on sleep. How about you? got any exciting plans?" You leaned in, resting your chin on your hand.

"Not yet," he admitted. "But I'm hoping to make some."

"Oh? You got someone special in mind?" You hummed.

"Someone incredibly special, yeah." Leonard smiled. So far, so good.

"Oh, well I hope it goes well." You shifted awkwardly in your seat.

"Me too..." Leonard agreed. You both didn't speak for a moment, the distant hum of the warp core did little to tame the silence.

"Hey Y/N... I was thinking maybe we could go to that restaurant you like, you know the one with the really good Chicken Parmesan you're always talking about." He mused, "what do you think?"

"I, um... I think they'd like it" The smile you gave him looked...sad?

"What are you talking about? Who'd like it?" Leonard couldn't possibly be more confused.

"Your special someone?" It was your turn to look confused.

You've got to be kidding me

"I'm talking about you darlin', do you want to go to that restaurant with me, just us, nobody else. You and me. Together." Leonard clarified, meeting your gaze.

You looked positively flabbergasted. He couldn't possibly mean what he was saying, right? There was no way Leonard wanted to... I mean, he was way too good for you! You had been trying for months to get his attention, to no avail. This must be a dream. You're going to wake up any minute.

"Darlin'?"

"I, uh...what?" You blinked out of your daze.

"Dammit Y/N, I'm trying to ask you out on a date!" Bones ran a hand through his hair, exasperation evident in his tone.

"Really? Me?" You asked hopefully.

"Yes!" He replied "Look, it's okay if you don't w-" You suddenly burst into laughter and all the words died on his lips. "What's so funny?"

"Oh, I'm sorry! It's just-" You giggled, "I actually came here to do the same thing..." You said sheepishly as you dug into your pocket "I, um... I got us tickets to see your favorite band. Figured if you said no, you could just take Jim instead." You handed the tickets over to him.

Leonard stared at the tickets in his hand, shock written all over his face. "Sweetheart, are you telling me we've both been dancing around each other for months, when we could have been doing stuff like this the whole time?"

"Seems that way, yes."

Leonard smiled and shook his head. "We're not very good at this, are we?"

"Not at all," You laughed. "Ahoy McCoy? What was I thinking?"

"Points for creativity darlin'," Bones chuckled. He almost couldn't believe things had turned out so perfectly. But in his experience, coincidence didn't exist. "Jim knew, didn't he?"

"He was actually the one who pushed me to come here," you admitted.

"Same. The bastard told me you'd say yes... Guess this was one of the few times I should have trusted him." Leonard concurred.

"So... What now, doctor?" You leaned a little closer. How had he never noticed your eyes before. He knew they were beautiful of course, but the way they were looking at him now made him weak in the knees. Had you always looked at him like that?

"Well, for now we're going to finish up our shifts, wouldn't want anyone to think we're slackers. But later, we're going to meet at the recreation room for a drink, possibly a game of darts. Then we'll see where the night takes us," McCoy smirked.

"How romantic, I can hardly wait for you to sweep me off my feet, they're killing me from all this running around, you know?~" You mused, resting your chin on your palm.

"Now you listen here darlin'. I'm a doctor, not a broom." Bones couldn't hide his amusement when you rolled your eyes at him.

"Well, what if I sweep you off your feet then?"

"You'll have to be careful, you might drop me and we could end up tangled in a whole mess of limbs."

"Oh, I'm counting on it.~" You teased.

Leonard swallowed hard and hid his bashfulness with a sip of his coffee, "Well in that case, sweep away."

You laughed again and McCoy was sure he had never heard a more beautiful sound in his life. He could see a future with you then. He wanted to sweep you off your feet, kiss you until you were breathless, share coffee with you early in the morning, and swap stories until late in the night. He wanted to introduce you to his daughter.

Baby steps.

"I hate to cut this short doctor, but I left the ensigns alone for too long, I'm worried there will be no lab to return to. I'll see you tonight?" You asked, fidgeting nervously with cuffs of your sleeves.

"Don't worry sweetheart, I'm not going to change my mind." Leonard smirked.

You blushed and smiled in relief, "good! Great!" You stood, grabbed your mug, and sauntered happily to the door. You paused just a moment and looked back at Bones sweetly. "See you later, handsome."

"See you later Y/N," replied Leonard. You gave him a cute little wave before hurrying back to the labs.

Once he was alone again in his office, Bones leaned back in his seat and admired the tickets on the desk. He almost couldn't believe how thoughtful you were, but this wouldn't be the first time you gave him an incredible gift. A couple months after you met, Bones had mentioned offhandedly that he missed a particular brand of whiskey from Earth. Despite being light years away, you managed to find some and give it to him. It wasn't even a special occasion, you got it just to make him happy. Leonard supposed he should have realized your feelings for him right then and there. Damn. He really was oblivious.

McCoy wanted to give you something tonight- no, he needed to give you something tonight. Something sweet, something romantic, something that says: 'you're special to me and I need to show it to you because I'm terrible with words'. But where was he going to find something like that on a starship? The botany labs. Flowers make for a great gift on a first date! Maybe if he was lucky, they would have irises growing down there. So what if bouquets are a little sappy?

A little sap never hurt anybody after all.

[chaosgremlinmunson]

Crush on You/ You're Mine (if only in my mind)

For @steddie-week

Prompt:July 6: dizzy/drunk confessions/Crush on You by Bruce Springsteen

Some mature content, sexual talk. MDNI 18+

Eddie was feeling the burn of the whiskey down his throat, he was glaring out into the crowd as some tall punk let his hands run over Steve, grabbing his hips, that glorious ass that Eddie fantasized about. He turned back to the bartender, Julie something, a girl who'd become close with the group. Eddie originally planned to talk Robin up to her tonight since he had sensed some mutual pining between the two, always watching the other a flush high on their cheekbones. That got derailed when almost immediately reaching the bar the duo had been swept off by strangers and now Eddie was suffering watching someone else holding the man he'd loved for the past ten years now.

Julie came up to Eddie, a refill already in hand and tipped her chin towards the devastation behind him, “I see your friends are occupied tonight.”

Eddie dropped his head onto the bar then looked up at her, “Does it ever get easier?” He asked, “aching for someone you know you'll never have?”

Julie tsked at him, and reached a hand out, flicking him in the forehead. She reached beside her and pulled out a flier showing tonight's karaoke theme he'd forgotten all about, it started soon. He raised an eyebrow.

“You know his favorite singer, come up with something eddie-spaghetti. You don't know that you can't have him unless you try.”

Eddie sat with his drink and stared at the flier, after a couple more shots of whiskey he had a plan. Albeit a stupid plan, but a plan nonetheless.

He stood walking to the booth and whispered to the DJ who raised an eyebrow until Eddie explained the choice then smirked and nodded.

A few moments later Eddie was on stage, spotlight lit on him and every nerve trying to sweat it's way out of his body, and then the music started

The first few verses were shaky at best, and then he made eye contact with Steve who was beaming at Eddie bopping along to his favorite music. He belted out pointing at Steve as the world diminished to just the two of them.

“Well now she might be the talk of high society

She's probably got a lousy personality

She might be a heiress to Rockefeller

She might be a waitress or a bank teller

She makes the Venus de Milo look like she's got no style

She makes Sheena of the Jungle look meek and mild

I need a quick shot, Doc, knock me off my feet

Cause I'll be minding my own business walking down the street... watchout!”

He went to spin out as the energy finally consumed him when a dizzy spell hit and he pinwheeled off the stage straight into Steve's arms.

Eddie stared up into those beautiful hazel eyes as he looked over Eddie checking for new injuries. When he looked back to Eddie he smiled that shy small smile Eddie loved so much and carried him bridal style over to the booth to sit them down, but kept Eddie in his arms so he was now sitting squarely in his lap.

“Careful, sweetheart, your dancefloor Casanova might get the wrong idea you holding me in your arms.” Eddie grinned.

Steve snorted at Eddie, “My only Casanova I'd give a shit about is a nerdy ass metalhead who can't seem to take a hint” Steve said back pinching Eddie squarely on his butt who squeaked and jumped.

“Hey! I'll have you know, that, wait….what?” Eddie began and stopped, eyes wide.

“Yeah, Eddie, I've danced with other people but only because you never make a move. I told you I was bisexual, I've cuddled up to you in bed, not them, I go home with you no matter where we go, in fact have you ever even seen me kiss a dance partner?”

Eddie inhaled, “Well…no.”

Steve continued, “Right, and I've always made you the little spoon when we snuggle. I pull you into my lap, you've literally woken up with me rock hard against your back numerous times and I've not once ever acted guilty. I've fixed your hair, held your hand, made you breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and I even started listening to all your music and getting invested into all your hobbies. And still, you act as though I'd give a shit about anyone else, Eds? What next, I Tattoo “I'm down bad for Eddie Munson” on my lower back and show you?” Steve took a breath, “I've loved you since the boathouse, you were what made me realize I wasn't straight. I had inklings before, but you made it clear as crystals. I don't want anyone else, just you.” He leaned his forehead against Eddie's shoulder.

“So, does that mean I can keep you forever?” Eddie said after a moment his hands finding their way to comb through that glorious head of hair.

“What it means is unless you literally throw me over the nearest cliff I'm not going anywhere. You're mine Eddie Munson, I'm going to marry you one day and become Mr. Steven Munson, I'm gonna grow old drooling over you, choking on your cock whenever I can, and pinning you to any and all surfaces I can while I make you scream my name until the world knows it. Sound good?”

Eddie let out a squawk-like laugh and pulled Steve closer, “sounds good sunshine, can we start with the choking and pinning tonight?

“Anything for you.” Steve said looking back at him eyes molten before leaning in and capturing his mouth in a mind tingling kiss.

[bluemoonwolf17]

Lucifer damn! I have gone down a rabbit hole of DP x DC Au's, and no. I'm not mad about this! (OK, that's a tiny lie. I have three docs of TFP fandom that I need to finish) But anyway, I've had this idea, and yes, imma type it out since I have nothin' better to do anyway.

Also, this was loosely inspired by this amazin' writer Space-Dreams-World

And this is the thin' that inspired my dumbass to write Here!

Oh, and before I forget, I don't precisely remember how the comics go, so I'll probably just pull stuff outta my ass and call it a day (But hey, that's what Au's are for), but if it bothers you sorry, there's waaaay too much Batman lore and don't get me started on the Re-boots!

(I hope I didn't butcher your original idea too much, but I did say your writings loosely inspired this!)

___________

Danny, after comin' out to his parents that he's Phantom, didn't go too hot, but hey! he has multiple plans! He just didn't want to use this one...After all, who wants to live in a new dimension? He's also glad that he waited until he turned twenty-one so that he could actually leave.

Thanks to Sam siphonin' money outta her parent's money for him for years and Tucker makin' a new identity for him, a bonus is that if he went to a different dimension, it still worked!

In the end, it's better than bein' on a table in the GIW labs after his Mom turned him to said government, But it's actually not that bad. He met a cool guy named Thomas Wayne, who is really chill (Also not bad-lookin). He's been In this world for probably three years now.

He met Thomas a couple of months after he dropped into this world and set up his new name, Daniel (Danny) Nightingale. He even met his wife, Martha Wayne, And he moved into their place two years ago after he had a break-in. And it's been goin' great at this point. He's probably bein' healed hostage by both Waynes and Alfred. He's cool with it, tho!

They were even cool with him bein' a half-ghost and the King of the infinite realms, and why they found out? It was Skulker's fault. I mean, come on, who comes in at dinner and claims that he wants your pelt on his wall...Oh, wait! Skullker did. Yeah, it wasn't fun explainin' that it's just how he greets Danny after all these years and that he just wanted to have a friendly spar.

Then, one day, the Waynes learned somethin' that broke Danny's heart. Martha and Thomas were havin' a hard time gettin' pregnant they later learned that it was because Thomas was infertile.

One day, Both Martha and Thomas asked him a favor. They asked if he would be okay with helpin' them get pregnant. He's not gonna lie. It was a shocker, but he understands that he does look like Thomas a bit, and people have even called them brothers.

It also helped him out when he told them that he didn't mind helpin' them out, and since they were on the topic, he said to them that he had a little crush on both of them. They both blushed red as a tomato and told him they felt the same. They didn't really understand how it worked.

Yes, he did explain that more than one person could be in a relationship that it was called Polyamory and that he has experience with it. He dated a girl and a guy simultaneously before leaving his universe, and it worked out in the end. He started to date both of the Waynes, and Martha got pregnant with a baby boy!

All three of them were over the moon with that news, and after baby Bruce was born, both Thomas and Martha decided that he was a Wayne now, so officially, he's now Danny Nightingale-Wayne, but to outsiders, he's still just Nightingale.

Even then, the only person who knows is Alfred. When Bruce was learnin' to talk and ended up callin' him Da, he told them he was fine just bein' Bruce's Godfather or uncle. That didn't go well, so Danny is Pa, and Thomas is Dad.

Bruce didn't understand why he couldn't call Danny Pa out in public or around friends until Danny sat him down and explained that it was a secret that he was his Pa and to the world, he was just his Godfather and if anyone knew that he's was his Pa it could be bad for the family.

After the talk, Danny somewhat made a game out of it that Bruce was a super secret spy and that it was his job to protect the family (I haven't really thought of this, but I thought it would be cute) And Bruce did keep it a secret until his Mom and Dad where killed.

Danny was supposed to go with them to the movies until the Observants demanded that he return to the infinite realms for a council meetin'. While Danny was tryin' not to freeze every observant in the room for bein' straight up annoyin', he heard Bruce scream for his Mom and Dad. He then listened to his pained hiccups for his Pa to come and help them.

Danny froze. The room he was in got much colder as his core demanded him to protect his son, and he was also cryin' for his lover's death. Ice shards spread out in the room, makin' the occupants yell out in shock at what their King had done. Danny then stood up, and with a protective/pained growl, he tore open a portal and went to his son, leavin' the room in chaos.

He couldn't stop the pained whimpers from his mouth when he got there. His son, his little Galaxy, was cryin' over his parent's bodies. Danny's brightest Nebulas, his lifeline after he left his old home, was dead. Without a second thought, Danny de-transformed and quickly grabbed Bruce and held him close.

Bruce quickly grabbed onto his Pa and bawled his eyes out, sayin' how he was sorry that he couldn't save them, how he tried to protect them, how his shield failed, and that he couldn't heal them as Danny taught him.

(I think Bruce, while not bein' as ghostly as Danny, still could do more than the average liminal could. He would have a small ghost core. So he could technically make shields, and I like to think that Danny learned how to push his rapid healin' onto others and started to teach Bruce when he started to show signs of bein' a bit ghostly)

Danny shushed him and told him that he tried his best and that was all that mattered while havin' tears drip down his face. That was how the police found the two Danny sittin' on his knees while huggin' the cryin' Bruce into his chest, tryin' to hide the poor boy from the world.

Most people did accuse Danny of killin' the two until Bruce screamed at them, sayin' that his Godfather loved his parents and that he would rather hurt himself than harm his parents. Alfred also spoke up, sayin' that Danny has never tried to harm the Waynes and even pushed them out of the way if anythin' harmful ever came close to the family.

They dropped the accusation a week later after the police did indeed find out that Danny was nowhere near the scene of the crime, that he was at the airport gettin' back from somewhere, and that the only reason why Danny found them was because Thomas sent him an SOS and their location. (He's grateful that Tucker taught him how to hack)

After everythin' calmed down and Danny had full custody of Bruce, he spent most of his time in the manor with Bruce and Alfred, only goin' to the realms if he absolutely had to, and he started to teach Bruce more about his ghostly side per Bruce's request.

Bruce took more to the sneaky part of the ghost side. Danny also suspected that Bruce might have a shadow core or somethin' related to darkness. Bruce did have fun. He Bruce would try and sneak up on his Pa and Alfred. Danny suspected Alfred knew when Bruce was around and tryin' to get a drop on him. It wouldn't surprise Danny if it were true.

Everythin' was as normal as could be...Until Bruce went missin', Danny almost destroyed the manor with ice. Alfred did manage to calm him down after a while. Danny was heartbroken that he couldn't find anythin' for him or Alfred, but he could tell that Bruce was fine.

About a week after Bruce disappeared, he had no choice but to go back to the infinite realms for short to long periods of time as the Obervents demanded since his son disappeared and since Danny knew that he was safe somewhere in the dimension.

Yeah, he wasn't really pleased with that demand, but then again, messin' with those floatin' eyeballs bastards is good, but messin' with them durin' a meetin'? Even better, and hey, at least he got his frustration out.

At this point, it was probably a good couple of years since Bruce disappeared, and he did have a lot of fun pissin' off the Observents durin' one of the Obervent's "informative" meetings when he felt a pull on his core. Oh? A summon? It's been ages since the last.

When he let himself get pulled toward his "summoner" (and probably pissin' off the eyeball bastards even more), he found himself in a room with a summonin' circle under him, one that he noted didn't bind him just summoned him. He looked around the room and noticed that it had windows that showed space.

Before he would let himself delve into one of his obsessions, he looked down and almost groaned out when he saw a blond man with a trench coat. Great...John Constantine, the man who sold his soul to every damn thin' in the infinite realms, has summoned him? Mann, he already has 75% of his soul.

Just as he was about to open his mouth to say somethin' whitty towards the man, he felt somethin'. He felt his core try and pull him towards somethin'. Danny moved his eyes from the blondie and saw somethin' black move more into the shadows.

Danny narrowed his eyes. That action was so familiar to Danny. He then raised his hand and snapped his finger, lightin' up the room he was in with green flames. He heard some alarmed shouts and a curse from the blondie, but he paid no attention to them. His eyes were on the man in the black cowl.

The man noticeably stiffened, and a sheepish smile spread on his face. What? It couldn't be. Danny floated down to the ground and walked over to the man. He could tell that the man was fidgetin' more the closer he got to him until Danny stood before him. The man was a bit shorter than him, but then again, he was 8 feet tall in this form and 7 feet in his human one.

He could feel the emotions comin' off of him: anxiety, family, and happiness. Danny felt his eyes whidden and a lump in his throat form it was! He felt water buildin' up in the corners of his eyes. He then spoke out two words he thought he might never hear again.

"Little Galaxy?" he crocked out. The man stiffened for a second, then relaxed. "Yeah, it's me, Pa," Bruse said with a smile, his voice crackin' a little. Oh, ancients! His son! he found his son, his little Galaxy.

Danny fell to his knees, grabbed Bruce, and hugged him just like he would when Bruce was younger. Bruce quickly wrapped his arms around Danny and curled into his chest.

"Oh, my little Galaxy! Where have you been!? And why in the realms would you just disappear like that! You gave me and Mister A a heart attack!" Danny scolded.

He could feel the guilt off of Bruce in waves. "I'm sorry, Pa, I just-" Danny sighed when Bruce couldn't finish his sentence. Danny understood he wanted to get revenge for his Mom and Dad. He truly understood. After all, he tried to find the person but never could finish findin' them before the council called on him.

Danny was about to speak before a throat clearin' got his attention. He looked over to the sound and saw a woman. By the looks of it, she was an Amazonian, and right next to her was a man with an S on his chest, a Kryptonian? They looked calm, but he could see the subtle way they held themselves. They were goin' to attack if they saw him as a threat.

Danny smiled. It seemed that Bruce got himself some good friends...? that's not the correct term, so he looked a bit closer at the two. He then promptly lost his shit. His laugh startled everyone. When he finally calmed down, he turned to his son, wiggled his eyebrows, and tilted his head towards the two somewhat behind him.

Bruce coughed into his fist, and Danny would bet that he was blushing from the tip of his ears down to his neck. Subtley nodded his head. Danny snorted, then stood up and brought Bruce to his side. Yeah, he's not lettin' his son go any time soon, thank you very much! "Ahem, please forgive my rudeness." Danny tilted his head down a bit towards the two.

Blondie decided to speak up. "What in the blood hell?" Danny snorted at the man. "Ah, again, forgive. I haven't seen this kid in a while," he said to the room.

Bruce coughed into his hand. Everyone turned their heads towards him, "Justice League, If I may, this is Phantom or, as I like to call him, Pa." Danny tried not to laugh. Bruce seemed a little troublemaker even though he was all grown up.

Everyone in the room froze until the Kryptonian spoke up. "Batman, what the hell? I thought that...." he questioned, then trailed off at the end. Danny snorted Batman? Oh, he's totally bringin' that up soon, but first...

Danny put a hand to his core and fanned hurt. "Oh, the pain! My son never told his friends about me? I'm betrayed!" he floated onto his back, playin' hurt.

The woman snorted into her hand, and Bruce groaned quietly. "Oh, this makes so much sense now," Constantine muttered. While still on his back, Danny raised an eyebrow and then looked toward Bruce. The Man subtly tilted his head to show that he also had no clue what the man in the trench coat meant.

"What is the supposed to mean, Constantine?" the Amazonian woman spoke to the man.

Blondie just sighed and took a flask out of his pocket and took a large gulp, then spoke, "I thought that you could tell Bats has more... Supernatural tendencies, so it makes sense if Bats grew up around the King of ghosts." he told the League "I'm just more curious how he met him" Constantine sighed.

"How he/I met him/me? We met when I/he was born!" Danny and Bruse spoke at once.

Constantine spat his drink out. "Wait, what!?... Y'know what, never mind, So KIng Phantom knew Bat's parents then when he was born became a liminal, " Constantine muttered. Danny then righted himself and wrapped his arm around Bruce once more.

"Actually, you're wrong, Galxay here is part ghost!" Danny informed the League with a Smile, Showin' too much inhuman teeth. After some silence, the woman spoke up. "If I may, what does that mean, your Highness?" she spoke calmly.

"Ah, please just call me Phantom! It also means that Galaxy is 3/4 Part ghost? Maybe a bit more? He does feel a bit different than the last time I saw him, but then again, his core was still growin'," he said, trailin’ off at the end.

Constantine threw his hands up in the air and then froze. He slowly looked at the two. "Wait...Bats, does that mean that Phantom is your Birth father?" Constantine asked with his hands twitchin' like they wanted to grab somethin'.

Every head turned towards Batman and Danny, and the two looked at each other and then at the Leauge, "Yes," they spoke as one. "HOW!?" most of the League shouted. Danny shrugged. "Eh, this was before I dated' both his parents. We learned his other Dad was infertile, and that was sort of the openin' that we needed to explain that we three liked each other. Ultimately, it worked out fine, so a win is a win!".

The League turned their heads to Batman and said the man nodded yes, that what came out of the ghost King's mouth was true.

That day, the Justice League was out of order and needed a proper reboot, and yes, Danny did indeed have the time of his un-dead life. Afterward, he even got to meet his son's lovers.

While the four were together, Danny brought up that poly and vigilantism must run in the family or somethin' so off-handedly that it had Clark and Diana laughin'. Bruce just grumbled at his Pa.

After that shit show of a reunion, Bruce took Danny back to the manor. He caught up with Alfred, and they made a plan that would remind Bruce that if he ever disappeared again and scared the shit out of them again, he was goin' to regret it. Bruce havin' no clue as to what they were talkin' about and frankly didn't want to know promised himself never to piss off his two parents again.

(Bruce still sees Alfred as a father figure. Danny did an excellent job bein' home every day, but sometimes the Observents won in their crusade.

They demanded that Danny be present in their meetings at least once a week, and of course, they could and would go on for days about their topic, even if it was a stupid one, just to keep him there.

And if some of them got put on ice just by suggestin' that he left his son to the mortals to be raised, it was no one's business but Danny's.)

__________

Okay, so this was supposed to be a bit longer, and it would have Danny meetin' Dick and then later Jason, but I decided to split it in half-ish, and if the people want to see the rest of my crappy writin', then I might share it.

I also mainly wanted to get this out and see how it went cause I am very happy with how most of this turned out. I am also runnin' out of motivation so~ but hey, I hoped you liked it!

Part 2 to this shit show!

[imaginesfordifferentfandoms]

You’re Losing Me

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Prompt - ‘Every morning I glared at you with storms in my eyes. How can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dying?’

Notes -  I won’t lie I don’t know if House still has an active fandom but I just started watching it so have this, also the way this song was leaked like four hours ago and I immediatly jumped to google docs

It seemed impossible when you had first realised how you felt, falling in love with a man twice your age, a man who was your boss no less, it had been an impossibly bad, stupid idea. You hadn’t planned on acting on it, the man was meant to be your mentor but he was so unlike anybody you had ever met before, so bluntly honest, never beating around the bush, there was something so charmingly arrogant about how that you just couldn’t help but like.

So it went on for months, months where you silently pined for him, sneaking glances at him as he watched his soaps in his office, stealing moments together as he pulled you into an empty room as he avoided clinic duty and instead quizzed you on the latest patient. You had hoped that ignoring how you felt would just make your feelings go away, make you realise this was just a silly crush and yet nothing ever changed.

Nothing changed until the man started seeking you out more, he started to look to you first for answers, it was you he found first to talk about cases or music or whatever else came to his mind. He wasn’t open but he did begin sharing little pieces of himself with you, nothing overly personal to most people but when it was Gregory House sharing those tidbits they felt big, they felt important, like it was this closed off man's way of trying to open himself up, to give something in return for all you shared with him.

You knew as you spent more time with him that it wasn’t just a silly crush anymore, it wasn’t just some admiration that had gotten out of hand, you were falling for the man and you tried not to let yourself hope that he was falling for you too. Then you’d see him talking to Wilson, the two of them sat together, Wilson looking hopeful whilst House frowned, his eyebrows furrowing together before both their gazes found you and his frown turned into a small twitch of the lips.

Neither of you acted on it for a while but the pining and the tension eventually became too much for both of you. You couldn’t exactly say who snapped first, only that the case you had been working had lasted for an exhaustingly long week and you were both pent up with far too many emotions, add the bottle of something strong from his office and it wasn’t a surprise when you found yourself pressed against the wall with House’s lips on yours.

From there on nothing had been defined for a month or two, you both spent more time together, slept together, went for meals together, yet nothing was ever defined. It had driven you crazy, not knowing if House wanted something more from you or if you were simply a way to burn off steam after work.

Eventually you had given into your need to know, waiting until you were alone, you pulled against his chest, tucked up in bed together. You hadn’t been able to get the words out, mouth opening and closing, your fingers distractedly playing with him as you tried to collect your thoughts.

House never missed anything though and if he could read other people well without ever needing to meet them then he could read you like the words of his favourite book. He had been the one to start the conversation, telling you to say whatever you needed to say and listening as you stammered out the question of what were you.

House had paused, it wasn’t like he wasn’t expecting it, of course he had been waiting for it and yet he still had to pause. He had to remember all his conversations with Wilson, the ones where he had promised to give this a real go because his feelings were real. It wasn’t easy, he had closed himself off for years, never letting himself get attached, never letting himself fall.

Of course you came along and ruined that but he had never been able to find it in himself to be mad. He was glad it was you he got to try again with, he was glad it was you who showed him that he wasn’t totally ruined.

He may not have understood why you wanted to be with a man twice your age, a man who was explosive and closed off, a man who needed drugs just to make it through a day, a man who was so far beyond damaged he couldn’t remember a time he had been whole. He didn’t understand it but he wasn’t taking it for granted.

He told you as much and you let yourself fall a bit more for him at the honesty, at the trust he had given you. From there on, you hated how cliched it sounded, but everything just seemed to have fallen into place.

You went out together and called them dates, House let himself relax, stopped analysing every word he said, stopped debating whether he was enough for you and instead let himself slowly open himself up to you. You hadn’t been hurt the way House had, sure your last relationship had broken you for a while but you were trusting House to not do the same, you didn’t have the same insecurities so whilst you fell first it took House a little longer but he fell in love with you too.

It was good for the first few years, not perfect because nothing was ever perfect. You worked together and you went home together, sometimes that was too much, sometimes a case was too much and you couldn’t leave it at the door, instead dragging it in and letting it linger but everything always resolved itself, everything was good.

You fell hard and so did he. You moved into his place even after he offered to find somewhere else but you had just smiled at him and told him his house felt like home and you’d love to move in with him.

You couldn’t say how many nights had been spent with the two of you on his sofa, his arms wrapped around you with you against his chest, holding you close as you spoke softly to one another, how many nights had been spent listening to him play the piano that sat in the corner or listening to music filling the room after a long day where no words were needed.

It was good.

So where had things started to fall apart? When had that love turned into something else, something that seemed more for show than anything else. When had you gone from sitting in bed as House read aloud, the lamp lighting the room with a soft orange glow before the two of you drifted off in each other’s arms to you staying awake long after House had fallen asleep, staring into the silence and wondering what had happened, wondering if time was running out for you.

It had started with little things, things you hadn’t even noticed until months later. He brushed you off more, not just at work but outside too, suddenly your opinion didn’t seem as important. Then it escalated to him cancelling plans which evolved into him forgetting to cancel plans, leaving you sitting alone in a crowded restaurant, having to keep the tears out of your eyes as you left realising you’d been stood up again.

It was when the sympathetic looks came that you couldn’t bear it, not from the strangers around you but from Cameron, Foreman and Chase. Each of them had warned you away from him at the start, told you House just wasn’t a relationship guy but you had ignored them and it was worth it, it had been worth it for the best years of your life.

Their sympathetic looks hurt, they could see something wasn’t right but their’s weren’t the one that cut deep. That honour belonged to Wilson. House trusted that man more than anyone and to see his fond looks turn sad and sympathetic, that’s when it hurt.

The only person who couldn’t seem to see that things were falling apart was House himself. The man who notices everything, the man who sees the smallest thing and pieces together an entire puzzle without any other parts, the man who spots and obsesses over every anomaly failed to notice how tired you were. He failed to see the way you were sick, sick of being tired, sick of feeling unwanted, sick of questioning what you had done and why you weren’t good enough and where things had gone wrong and why he didn’t love you anymore.

You were sick and he couldn’t see it or maybe he just wouldn’t admit it. He still said the words I love you even as you frowned, wondering how he could so easily say those words when he couldn’t even see you in front of him, couldn’t see how you were dying from how much everything hurt.

How did he miss the pain and anger and grief in your eyes as you glared at him in the morning, him so easily going about his day whilst he ignored you, gave you a little bit but never what he used to. He smiled and joked in front of everybody, the others whilst knowing something was wrong never knowing the extent because not even House seemed to realise what was happening.

It had been years and you had wanted so much more with him, you wanted to give him everything and yet House seemed content stuck where you were, happy to stay frozen in time. You wanted to beg him, fall to your knees and plead with him to do something, to see that he was losing you despite how badly you had always wanted him.

It felt like your heart was twisting and stuttering, sometimes beating too quickly that you were afraid it was going to push you over the edge and sometimes beating so slowly you thought you were already dead.

You wanted him to notice, you needed him to notice, to do something to fix it. He was a doctor, he was the one who always noticed everything, focusing and giving it his attention until the problem was fixed but when he looked at you he didn’t see a problem because these days he never looked for long enough.

The thing was House had always been the one to understand you, to know what you were thinking without you ever needing to vocalise it, he used to be able to take one look and understand everything about you. Now though it was like you were a stranger to him.

You didn’t want to lose him, you didn’t want to be in a world where you didn’t love him anymore but you were tired and drained and just sad. Sure you may still fall asleep in the same bed but he never pulled you into him anymore, suddenly all the songs that he played sounded infinitely sadder and you nearly laughed at how you felt like those songs, becoming sadder and sadder as each day passed.

You had given him so much, you had never complained once about the drugs, accepting that was who he was, you had never given a second thought to his leg even when he tried to use it as an excuse to keep you from loving him, you loved his personality where most people struggled to even accept it.

You had given him the best of you and now it felt like everything was too far gone to bring back to life.

“Can I talk to you?” You asked softly as you stepped into House’s office, already having spoken to Cuddy and knowing you were doing what was best for you even if you did feel like your heart had exploded in your chest.

“Little busy right now.” He told you, barely taking his eyes away from the board in front of him, sparing you half a glance and missing the way your eyes were teary and red. “Can it wait?”

You took a shaky breath, wanting him to notice, wanting him to realise everything was broken. Where the man before you had once felt like home, had felt like he had been made by the universe for you to find, tied together with an invisible string to lead you to each other, now it felt like that string had been slashed, cutting off your blood flow and oxygen and stopping your heart all together.

“No, it can’t.” You said and watched as he huffed before turning to you, leaning against the desk to look at you and still not seeing something was wrong. Your lips quivered as you forced yourself not to cry, even as you felt the sting of tears returning. “I’m leaving.”

“You’re leaving?” He asked, raising an eyebrow at you, not seeming too alarmed.

“Yes, I’m leaving. I spoke to Cuddy and handed my resignation in and-”

“Wait a second, you’re leaving the hospital? Why? You love it here.” House said, his eyebrows knitting together as he tried to solve the puzzle in his head.

“I’m leaving New Jersey.” You interrupted his thought process, watching as he stared at you dumbly. “I already spoke to my parents, they’re letting me move back home for a little bit until I find something else but I’m leaving.”

“I don't understand.” He told you and it hurt, it hurt how genuinely confused he sounded. He really hadn’t figured it out, he hadn’t cared enough to notice everything had gone to pieces.

“I know you don’t.” You told him because it was all you could say, you knew he didn’t understand but he should, he should love you enough to see understand.

Do something, you pleaded in your head, say something, lose something, risk something, choose something, choose me.

You needed him to choose you, needed him to swallow his pride, to lose it for just a few minutes, risk being emotional, risk something, you needed him to choose you, all you wanted was for him to want you, to need you the way you needed him.

“So that’s it?” He said and your lips thinned as you fought back a sob.

Of course he wasn’t going to fight for you, of course he wasn’t going to choose you, not when he had been pulling away for so long without even realising it. Or maybe he did know what he was doing and he had just been seeing how long it would take for you to crumble and break.

“That’s it.” You forced out, somehow managing to keep the flood of tears from falling even as you felt the last of your heart stop.

“Right, well then, if that’s everything I have somewhere to be.” House told you coldly, not giving you a chance to say anything as he grabbed his cane and walked past you and out of his office, down the hallway without so much as glancing back.

Alone in his office you let the tears fall down, a hand to your mouth as you tried to muffle your sobs, not sure you’d be able to come back from this one. It hurt too much, all you had wanted was for him to fight for you and he didn’t even want to.

How had things gone so wrong?

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[justagalwhowrites]

What was lost...

Joel can't seem to shake you, even when he knows you're dead and gone. A canon Lavender one shot set in between chapters 8 and 9, a few months before Joel and Tommy arrive in Boston.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader from Lavender

Length: 2.3k

Warnings: Angst. This is pure angst, I'm sorry. Imagined canon-typical violence. Mention of sex. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ only.

A/N: I got this idea from an anonymous ask when I wrote about wanting to write Joel with a dead reader and they suggested writing Joel when he thought Doc was dead. SHE IS NOT REALLY DEAD, OK? Joel thinks she's dead. She's not dead. Doc is fine. She's in Boston calling QZs looking for Joel, working at the school and the clinic, and being codependent with Andrew. It's OK. I promise.

July 2008

I’ll always love you, Joel. Til the day I die.

Joel woke with a start. 

It was still dark, the moon full and high, and for half a glorious second, he thought it was you asleep against him. That the two of you were camping with Sarah and you would sense him in your sleep and reach back to put a hand at his waist and tug him closer.

He asked you once if you knew you did that, that when he woke and sat up in the night that you would reach for him until you found him and pull him back to you where he belonged, always with a little satisfied sigh. As though him being close was all you needed in the world, even when you were unconscious. 

You’d laughed when he asked, tucking your chin like you wanted to hide from it. 

“God, I’m sorry!” You said as you caught your breath. “I had no idea I did that! I promise, I won’t hunt you down in my sleep if you pull away from me…” 

Joel had laughed a little, too. 

“Don’t apologize,” he’d said. “Like it when you keep me in line.” 

“Good,” you smiled, teasing and sitting up a little straighter. “You’d better.” 

But it wasn’t you, of course. It hadn’t been you for five years. Five years to the goddamn day. 

Joel wished he’d lose track of the fucking date but he couldn’t seem to. Every time he seemed to get close, they’d have to do something like coordinate a raid on a FEDRA caravan and he’d be set back on track, his brain always keeping count. 

He wanted to forget his birthday the most. If there was any mercy left in the world, he’d have never seen another one after 36 but here he was, closing in on 41 and still marking time. 

He wished he could forget Sarah’s birthday, too. And yours. 

But, strangely, July 18 was the second hardest day for him. It was the last day the three of you were together. The last time he’d heard your voice right beside him, the last time he’d held you, the last time he had nuzzled into your hair and your skin and breathed in the lavender scent of you. 

The body next to him didn’t smell like lavender. She didn’t fit against his body like you did, either. She didn’t sound like you or taste like you or feel like you. But she was close and warm and wanted him and he’d given in. He almost always did. Because what they offered wasn’t sex, not really. It was a chance to forget, for a moment. If she looked like you, it was a chance to pretend, too. 

This one didn’t look much like you, though. He’d closed his eyes during because it didn’t seem to matter that you’d been dead for years, it still felt wrong to be with anyone besides you. It didn’t make much difference. She didn’t feel like you. He’d pulled out and finished with his hand, thinking about how you felt that day five years ago in the water. 

“Everything OK?” The woman beside him sounded groggy. 

He couldn’t remember her name. 

“Fine,” he said quietly. “Just takin’ over the watch. Go back to sleep.” 

She just shrugged and settled on the ground again as Joel worked his way through the woods, finding Tommy walking the perimeter of where they’d stopped for the night. 

“You got another two hours to sleep,” Tommy said, frowning in the moonlight. 

“I’m awake,” Joel said. “May as well take over.” 

Tommy gave him a look for a moment before he sighed. 

“S’long as you’re OK,” he said, clapping Joel on the shoulder. “Should be good for a while, just did a sweep.” 

Joel just gave him a nod and Tommy made his way back to camp as Joel settled into a notch in some roots, his back resting against the trunk of a tree. 

“She’s not me, you know.” 

Your voice was so close beside him it would have made him jump if it were any other sound. But it was you. 

He was used to this by now, the way you haunted him on days like this. 

He wasn’t sure why you’d hung on in ways Sarah hadn’t. Maybe because he knew what happened to her, knew where her body had gone cold.

He’d spent so much time trying to drown out that memory - to shove it away, suffocate it, anything to keep it from taking over - that he thought he might have pushed all of her aside with it. He didn’t hear her voice as often anymore, didn’t picture her there next to him either. 

You were another story. His mind seemed to enjoy torturing him when it came to you. He’d pictured your death so many times now, the imagined memory of it finding him in his sleep on so many nights. 

Tonight had been one of those nights. This time, you’d died at the hands of a man like him. You had your backpack on, the one Joel had told you to pack, and you were walking where he’d told you to go. He could see you so clearly, your hair in braids with ribbons on the ends and your cheeks with smears of dirt like you sometimes got when camping. You’d tried to beg for your pack because Joel had told you it was important and then you tried to beg for your life because he’d told you that was important, too. 

It hadn’t worked. 

You’d been in the man’s grip, his knife at your throat and your eyes found Joel’s and you said the same thing to him you always did before you died at the hands of whatever monster he’d left you to suffer: 

I’ll always love you, Joel. Til the day I die.

“Don’t expect her to be you,” Joel said quietly, refusing to look at the ghost beside him. He didn’t need to. He knew what you’d look like, down to the jeans you were wearing and how many buttons were done up on your shirt. You always came to him in the form you’d been in the last time he’d seen you, when you waved to him as you passed through airport security on your way back to New York five years ago today. 

“I wonder why you’re always let down then,” you sounded almost smug. It didn’t sound right on your voice. You were so rarely smug. He’d made you mean in death. 

“Does it matter?” He asked. 

“I guess not,” you said. “Just thought you’d have found something better to do by now. It’s been five years, Joel.” 

He turned to look at you then. You were sitting close enough to him that, if you were real, he would feel the heat of you there. 

But there was no warmth to be found in a ghost. 

“Know how long it’s been,” he said gruffly. 

“Well, you probably deserve to torture yourself a little,” you sighed, no longer looking at him and out at the forest instead. “It’s your fault I died the way I did, you know.” 

That’s how he knew it was all in his head. You’d never say that to him. 

Even if it was true. 

“I know.” 

He sat in silence for a few minutes, refusing to look at you, speak to you even though he sometimes wondered if falling into his delusions would be the best he could hope for in this life. Nothing else would measure up to you. He knew that. He would, for the rest of his life, regret not being beside you when the world ended. He would, for the rest of his life, compare every woman he ever met to you. He would, for the rest of his life, wish for something he could never have because he’d done nothing but fucking fail the only people in the world who mattered. Now, you were both out of reach.

“I miss you, you know,” you said eventually, quietly. “I missed you when I died, too.” 

Joel didn’t say anything. He just clenched his jaw. 

“I was alone,” you said. “I was scared. You know how I got panic attacks, imagine how bad it would have been then…” 

“Stop.” 

“How I would have looked for you…” 

“Stop it.” 

“How I would have been worried about you, even as they killed me I would have been worrying for you…” 

“SHUT UP!” 

He yelled it, finally looking at you again. But you weren’t what he expected. At least, not in how you were looking at him. 

So often when he pictured you now, when you spoke to him like this - when he was sleep deprived but couldn’t rest and was in desperate need of some kind of solace - there was an almost vicious look on your face. He didn’t think he’d ever seen you look like that when you were alive, it was an expression entirely of his mind’s invention. You had never been cruel or even really aggressive in life but he couldn’t think of you without it. It hurt too much to see you kind. 

But you looked earnest and sad now, so like the real you, like he was worthy of your pity for the first time in five years. It was like his heart beat for the first time since he’d held his daughter’s body.

“You never even looked for me, Joel,” you said softly. “I could have made it, you know.” 

He shook his head. 

“Don’t say that. Don’t put that thought in me, don’t…” 

“I could have. You can’t know, not really. Why did you give up on me? Why didn’t you come find me? Save me?” 

“How would you have lived?” He asked, meaning to sound angry but he couldn’t. “How would you have fucking made it through that? What was I supposed to find? What was I supposed to save?” 

You just shrugged. 

“If you really think I’m gone, why didn’t you join me? Join her?” 

He looked straight ahead. 

“I tried.” 

“You flinched.” 

He hung his head, clenched his jaw. Yes, he’d failed at that, too.

“Is this really how you’re going to spend your life, Joel?” You sounded like you. He could almost feel the gentle brush of your fingers on his neck. He still knew your touch so well, he still compared every woman he ever felt to that touch. “Hurting people and killing people and suffering yourself? Do you think this is what I would want for you?” 

He looked to the side, as far from you as he could without leaving you. 

“You could try something else,” you said after a moment. 

He looked back to you again. You were still so beautiful. Even dead, you were beautiful. 

“Try what?” He asked. “What other fuckin’ options do I have?” 

“You could go to a QZ,” you shrugged. “Try to be a person again. Have a life.” 

He scoffed.

“What’s the point?” 

“What’s the point of any of it?” You asked. “You flinched, Joel. There must be a reason for it. Do you really think you’re going to find it out here, like this? Become yourself again, become the man I loved so much that I begged him to stay, even when he told me I wasn’t worth staying for. I know you can.” 

Joel thought for a moment. 

What if you were right? What if there was still some kind of meaning to this fucked up world he was trapped in? It didn’t seem possible, not really. But you were impossible, too. You’d been impossible before the world ended and yet you’d existed. You had existed and you had chosen him. 

“You loved me once,” you said softly. 

“I still love you,” he said. “Always will.” 

“Then try. For me. OK?” 

You were looking at him, so full of hope and love that he couldn’t say no. He could never say no, not to you. 

He took a deep breath. 

“OK.” 

You smiled and you were beautiful, still so beautiful. 

“Thank you,” you said before you took a deep breath and turned your face toward the full moon like you were basking in the sun. “I think it’s time for me to go. But I’ll see you soon.” 

He huffed, cynical, looking in front of again.

“Sure you’ll be back when I’m too tired to think straight,” he said. 

“I’m sure I will,” he heard the smile in your voice. “But who knows? Maybe you won’t need me anymore, not once you find yourself again.” 

He looked at you, frowning. 

“What…” 

“Take care of yourself for me,” you leaned in so close, close enough that, if you were real, he would feel the brush of your lips on his and smell the lavender of your shampoo. “I’ll always love you, Joel. Til the day I die.” 

You were gone before he had a chance to respond, nothing but air and silence, the echo of a ghost in your wake. 

He sighed and leaned back against the tree, closing his eyes for a moment, trying to think. Maybe a QZ wasn’t a terrible idea. They’d heard some halfway decent things about Boston lately. If they started heading that way now, they could be there before the snow flies. 

And Boston, at least, was a new city. A place he’d never been, where there were no ghosts to haunt him. It was a good a place as any to try to become a person again. It was a good a place as any to try to move past you. 

Joel settled in to his watch, deciding to talk to Tommy in the morning. He’d be on board. He always was, when Joel made up his mind. 

And who knows, maybe he would find something in Boston worth flinching for. 

[zozo-01]

"but it burns me up when i let you down."

Google Docs said I started this fic back in August of 2022 and now two years and an accent change later, I'm finally done!! David and Darlin' unfortunately hold a part of my brain that refuses to leave me, despite my adoration for their canon counterparts. So its only fair if I gave them the same treatment that I do for the others!! :D

Thanking the lovely @thesunandmoons-blog, @lostinanothersmemories and @friendlyfaded for probably forgetting this fic existed, but it's here!! And thanking my beloved @taelonsamada and @nortyourself for reviving it again. Finally, a huge shoutout to @androgynouspenguinexpert for being the amazing beta they are and @floofdeloop for making the playlist where I got the title from!!

CW: No Angel or Sam AU, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Injuries, Kidnapping, Torture, Blood, Broken Bones, Vomit, Character Death, it's off screen, Allusions to a Toxic Relationship and Sexual Assault, not explicitly mentioned but very much implied, Non-Consensual Trancing, vampires obvi, Quinn is a Bad Man, Canon Divergent, an alternative take on how the quinn storyline could have gone, Divine Intervention, it's me im the intervention, Love Confessions, in the most convoluted way possible, David is Bad at Feelings, And so is Darlin', Quinn is not British, apologies my bad for that, i started writing this two years ago and how so much has changed, shoutout to the Leafs once again except they're doing alright, for now

click here for the ao3 link!!

--

“Here.” 

“Why the fuck are you giving me a necklace?”

“Thought it was pretty and you’d like it. So take it.”

“Alright, no need to be pushy baby Alpha.”

“How many times have I told you not to call me ‘baby Alpha?”

“And I won’t stop… I- um… thank you for the necklace… David.”

“...Of course Darlin'.”

David was chained up to the wall of what he thought was a basement. There was blood seeping into the hardwood floors, some of it was his and some of it was dried up from long ago. The style of the room was similar to a bar that Darlin' frequented during their lone wolf days. How he knew that wasn't important. Was the dried blood theirs? He shook that thought from his head. He had more important things to focus on. But they're important too.

It looked like he was trapped in a bar storage room, judging by the varying bottles of alcohol along the shelves. He couldn’t tell. His eyes were too damn blurry to see his hands when he held them close to his face.

He tried to lift his head from the floor, but it was throbbing with pain. The pounding registered as its own sound, but that couldn't stop him. He needed to lift his head, move his body, so he could see what the hell was going on. 

His first thought was to shift through the chains, hoping that they would break with his larger wolf form. But one look at the handcuffs made him realize why that was a terrible idea. They were magic dampening cuffs, the kind the Department would use to contain 'dangerous shifters'. If he decided to try and shift through these cuffs, his wrists and ankles would have shattered. With no healer nearby, this would have been a death sentence.

David pressed his palms on the floor, attempting to get up. This time, he was able to lift himself onto his knees, ignoring the aches that seemed to be everywhere. After a deep breath, he straightened his back, leaning onto the wall behind him. As he shifted to sit in a more comfortable position, his eyes began to clear up. He was able to see properly again. He saw what—who was in front of him and sat there, body trembling at the sight of the man in front of him.  

“So tell me, Alpha, how long do you think it will take for my little wolf to show up?”

He may not remember how he got here. What he did know is that the vampire Darlin' has been hunting for the last two years was in front of him. 

Quinn sat on a chair, legs crossed and hands placed in his lap. He cocked his eyebrow. “Well, I’m waiting for my answer,” he said impatiently. Quinn wanted an answer now.

David took a deep breath. “They won’t be coming for me,” he said, lying through his teeth. Darlin' was the type to lay down their life for a stranger. They always cared more for others than they did themselves. If they had heard anyone was alone with Quinn, they’d haul ass to save them. Only God knows how fast Darlin' would be running if they knew it was David in Quinn’s clutches. Part of him was desperately hoping that they wouldn’t come. That they would have faith in him to save himself.

His more selfish side wanted them to be there. To see for himself that they were okay. To end Quinn’s life in front of them. To end their living nightmare.

It was his duty as their Alpha and it was his duty to his heart.

Quinn found David’s lie so amusing that he let out a laugh of disbelief, wiping the tears falling from his eyes. “Now that— that was a good joke Shaw,” he choked through his laughter. Letting out his final chuckles and calming himself, he got up from his chair and stalked towards the wolf. David tried to get up, but the chains locked onto his wrist were too short to let him stand. The most he could do was kneel before the vampire.

Quinn stood in front of David, eying the defiant Alpha. He crouched down to meet the wolf’s eyes. He glanced down to David’s bloody, snarling mouth. 

“I forget how sharp shifter teeth are.” Before David could move away from the vampire, Quinn grabbed his chin and opened his mouth, admiring the shifter’s canines. “Reminds me how much they loved my teeth.”

David’s eyes went wide. ‘Makes me remember how much they loved my teeth?’ What the hell did he mean by that? He didn’t know what Quinn was saying and he hated not knowing. But he had an idea.

A deep snarl came from the wolf within him. The images of his— no, not his. As much as he wishes they were, Darlin' was not his to claim. The image of the wolf he knew laying on a bed - fuck, they’d look gorgeous on their back - with Quinn on top of them was enough to make his skin crawl. Picturing the vampire sinking his teeth into Darlin'’s neck makes him want to throw up.

“Oh? You don’t like that?” Quinn smirked, showing off his fangs. Fangs that had the luxury of marking their skin. “You don’t like the idea that they used to beg for my teeth? That my fangs had the pleasure of tasting them?” 

David had to remove himself from this situation, at least mentally. He couldn't just sit there and let Quinn talk about Darlin' in such a demeaning manner. For a moment, David could forget about his predicament and just think about Darlin'. Their beautiful body and somehow more gorgeous heart. No one could have captured his heart the way they did, he'd keep 

 A sharp pain bloomed across David’s face, knocking him out of his thoughts, and his mouth filled with the iron taste of blood. It took him a second to realize that Quinn had punched him square in the jaw.

He looked up at the vampire, who was wiping the Alpha’s blood from his knuckles. 

“Apologies for the drastic measures, but I can’t have you think of them like that.” Quinn paced around the room and his hands were clasped together as he spoke. “Believe me, I know they are incredibly attractive, but that doesn’t give you permission to think of my wolf like that.” 

David took a deep breath. The chained up Alpha was in no position to make threats against the Old Blood in front of him, but he needed to say something to relieve the pent-up anger. He was going to explode from the rage at the thought of Darlin' ‘belonging’ to a man like Quinn.

In all honesty, David was fuming at the thought of Darlin' not being his.

“They’re not yours.”

“Oh really?” Quinn said in a low growl, daring David to finish his thought.

“They don’t belong to anyone.” David wolf howled right under the skin, and had it not been for the magic dampening cuffs, he would have made sure his body would be unrecognizable.

He cackled like it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard. “Is that sentiment supposed to make you feel better about the fact that my mark is on them?”

David’s jaw clenched as a smirk arose on Quinn’s face. “Am I wrong in saying that? My teeth were in their skin. My mark is on their body.” He let out a manic laugh, pacing around the room in a frantic glee, the total opposite of the calm villain role he was playing earlier. Darlin' probably just had that effect on him, unfortunately.

 He knelt down, cupping David’s jaw in his hand. "Whether you like it or not, they’re mine. And I never let go of what rightfully belongs to me,” he sneered.

David snarled, trying to bite off the vampire's hand. The thought of him laying his filthy hands on Darlin' was enough to make him hurl, so why not do something to prevent that from happening, or at least try to? “You fucking touch a single goddamn strand of hair on their head, and I swear to God I will rip you to shreds.”

Quinn clicked his tongue, dropping David’s limp head, and continued to slowly pace around in the glorified dungeon. “It’ll be easier if you just—” he paused, placing his foot on David's back and crushing him under his heel, grinning at the grunt of pain the Alpha let out. “Give them to me. You could never love them the way I do, it's clear with the way you call them trouble." 

David knew it. It was something he told himself every single night for years. He wasn’t good enough when it came to welcoming them to the pack. He wasn’t good enough to keep them away from trouble, and they had the scars on their body was proof of his failure. He wasn’t good enough to keep their heart from breaking, watching and doing nothing as they fell in love with the monster in front of him.

He wasn’t good enough back then and not much has changed since.

But he was better than the sorry excuse of a person sneering at him.

David gathered the spit and blood and bile in his mouth. He refused to lay down and let Quinn say another word about Darlin’. 

But as Quinn's ears perked up, David's heart sank. There were footsteps coming down the steps, rushed and desperate to reach the basement of the bar. One sniff of the air confirmed who it was sprinting towards him, the last person he wished it was. And the person he was desperately hoping for.

Darlin' had found him. They were racing straight for the belly of the beast.

"They always hated to be late," he mused, soft and sweet like he had the right to think of them like that. Quinn turned back around to David, a crazed and wicked smile on his face. "Shall we give them a warm welcome, Alpha?"

David didn't want Darlin' to see him like this; his stomach curled at the thought. As Alpha, he tried to maintain that aura of invincibility that was expected of him. Any comment that compared himself to his late father made him beam with pride, all efforts made to replicate his presence rather than replace his father with his own leadership. But it had taken some time to find his stride with his new title, and Darlin' was instrumental to that. It was them who continued to stand by his side, even when his displaced anger should have scared them off. Yet Darlin' knew what pain hid under his anger, and he's incredibly thankful for them being patient with him.

From then on, he made an extra effort to control and compose himself around them. Apologies through acts of love weren't uncommon, and for a man who's as bad with his words as he was, actions spoke volumes. It wasn't fair that Darlin' had to constantly deal with his outbursts without any respite, so he opted to give them an extended break.

Covered with blood from various sources and broken beyond repair, David was far from the usual picture of poise. He pulled against his shackles in a vain attempt to be free, if not to save himself than at least to provide them enough time to run away. The chances of both of them escaping were improbable, but he can make sure that at least one of them will be free.

"What the fuck did you do, Quinn!?" they screamed with desperation, their voice entering the room before they did. He couldn't help but smile, at least he would see them one last time before he died.

Quinn's arm wrapped around David's neck like he was giving him a noogie, squeezing it and causing another choking fit. "Oh you know, precious, just two buddies hanging out, ain't that right, Davey?" His smile darkened, or maybe it was the blood around his mouth. If you take away all the gore and move this scene to a picnic field, this could have been cute. David chuckled in his head, morbid thoughts like those were exactly what he needed to keep sane. 

With no fear for their safety, Darlin made a move to step forward, only to stop when Quinn clutched his neck, nails breaking skin and dragging down his back. "If you take a step forward, I will hurt him."

Hesitation flashed in Darlin' eyes, and he hoped that it would be enough for them to turn their back and run. (It wasn't, and it never will be.)

Stomping towards the two and their claws peeking, David could feel their core become a ferocious snowstorm, cold and vicious, making sure that there would be no survivors. "I swear to God, if you don't let him go, I will—"

Familiar pain burst across David's neck, teeth and claws becoming too familiar to differentiate at this point. He wanted to throw up at the lewd moans that Quinn let out, disgusted that this man- monster was finding pleasure in his pain. He shivered at Darlin' being in his spot, the one who Quinn's fangs dug into. Quinn had passionately spoken about their blood, to an obsessive and slightly creepy extent.

Biting David had the effect that Quinn wanted on Darlin', with Darlin' stopping dead in their tracks. Their fearful eyes locked with his, retaliations dying in their throat. Despite being frozen in place, David could see them go backwards, going back to the person they were when they were with Quinn. All the healing they had achieved was undone at sight of the monster in front of them.

He tried to speak, willing to beg in front of them to leave, but any attempts to speak were crushed like his windpipes. Quinn's doing, of course. 

"Quinn, please…" Darlin's voice quivered as the anger within them died down, while David's rage continued to fester. How dare Quinn bring fear to their voice after going on about how much he cared for them. If Quinn really loved them as much as he claimed to, then he wouldn't be doing all of this. But it wasn't love that he felt for Darlin', it was the desire to control them.

"There's my precious little wolf," Quinn cooed, letting David's limp body slump onto the ground. He was glad that Quinn finally let him go, but David was too concerned with the way Quinn was stalking towards his wolf. He tried, Lord knows he tried, to crawl towards Darlin' and save them, but with all the injuries, he was lucky to move a finger.

To their credit, Darlin' didn't take a step back as Quinn got closer. Davidd knew it was because they refused to let him scare them. Defiant in the face of death, dying as a martyr with conviction of steel was an honourable way to die. 

Their cold expression faltered a little bit when Quinn started to play with their hair. Growls died in David's throat, the only noise he was letting out was blood choking him to stay quiet. His inner wolf was begging to let himself out, but try as he might, he couldn't tackle Quinn where he stood. David didn't know if this hurt him more as their Alpha or as the man that loved them.

"What do you want, Quinn?" they asked, careful to not look him in the eyes, presumably to stop them from being tranced tonight. Darlin' took a moment to compose themselves, giving their signature killer look that would turn Quinn to ash. But they weren't Superman, and this wasn't a fairy tale.

(It could be if you wanted it, no? You have the power to turn this around and make sure everyone leaves tonight alive. They would be broken and bruised and would never forget this night, but they'll be able to remember. So please, help us, save them.)

(Darlin's hand slipped into their back pocket unbeknownst to the two men. They were lucky that their silencer was on.)

"Oh precious, that's no way to greet your man," he purred, eyes trailing their body in a way that made Darlin's skin crawl. He held the side of their face, nails digging into their cheek and making them look into his eyes. They ignored the pain, keeping their eyes shut to stop any trancing. Drawing blood from their face, Quinn growled, "open your damn eyes, mutt."

"Oh please, you never needed to trance me to force me to do whatever the fuck you want," they said with a cold fury. David's mind conjured up the worst of what they meant by that. He threw up at the thought of it, more blood leaving his body.

Sick bastard that he was, Quinn laughed. "It really is so much fun to make you, I love seeing your fighting spirit." His smile dropped, voice going cold, making another switch from his frantic personal to someone more composed. "But I need you to open your eyes, pretty thing. You wouldn't want me to bite your Alpha—"

Quinn didn't need to finish his sentence before Darlin' shot their eyes open, pleading with him to not hurt David even more. He didn't know why they were so set to defend him, he could take care of himself. What the fuck was the point of being Alpha if he couldn't protect the people he cared about?

"Quinn please…" David wanted to cry at how quiet Darlin's voice became, an effort to not set off the vampire in front of them. It was too rehearsed, a tone they practiced many times in the reflections of shattered mirrors. "Why are you doing all of this? I don't understand why you can't just leave me alone."

"Well it's quite obvious, precious," he started, his hands trailing from their face to their waist. "I want you back, sweetie. I've missed you, your love, your care, your intoxicating aroma," he sniffed the air around them, moaning at their scent. "It's nice to know that after all this time spent with these wolves, you still are my ferocious little thing."

"They're not yours!" David yelled out as best as he could, even though his voice was still muffled by the blood in his throat. It wasn't a lot, but it was better than sitting on his broken bones and doing nothing.

Quinn glared at the Alpha behind him, finally acknowledging his presence. Finally, David was getting bored back here. "Which brings me to this mutt," he said with so much disdain, it filled David up with pride that he was able to make Quinn hate him as much as David loathed him. 

Darlin's eyes went wide and their mouth moved before they could think. "He didn't do anything wrong—" 

"Oh yes he did precious, don't you dare try to protect him," he sneered at them.

Finally letting go of Darlin', Quinn stalked around the room, eyeing the two wolves with accusations ready at his lips. "You never really loved me, not the way I loved you." He stopped a few paces behind them, staring David in his eyes. Good, as long as that fucker looked at him and not Darlin', then it would be a good thing in his book.

“So that got me thinking, why could you never commit fully to me? Why wouldn’t you compromise your ‘moral compass’ for me? Why didn’t you love me the same way that I love you? It hit me." Frantic voice and manic eyes had David wondering how on Earth Darlin' was able to love a monster like him. They were the only person he knew that would treat this vile creature with love and respect that he didn't deserve. 

"But I did love you," they said with hurt and guilt in their voice.

"But you didn't!" he finally yelled out. "You couldn’t because of how you felt for him.” Quinn pointed at David.

…Darlin' loved him? Darlin' loved him.

This was a dream come true in the most nightmarish way possible. 

He had no time to ponder on this new revelation, already light-headed with the way his heartbeat pounded. A selfish part of him was happy that his feelings were reciprocated, that they long for him the way he did for them. But like this? Against their own will and him bolted to the wall, there was no way this was their ideal way to confess. Knowing them, they'd probably have a meticulous plan to make sure that everything went perfectly. They'll never have the chance to confess the way they wanted to. Neither would he.

His rationale came back to him after the initial high. He may have not known Quinn the same way Darlin' did, but from what he'd heard and seen from him tonight, he was a delusional and jealous asshole. Never trusting anyone to have pure intentions. He couldn't fathom that he was the issue, so he might have created this reality to remove himself from any accountability from what he did to Darlin'. Yeah, that must have been it. It broke his heart, but he'd rather a lie than Darlin' having their feelings ripped out of them to be on display.

(David remembered how casually their parents would talk about their biggest failures, as if it was gossip to them. How Darlin' would laugh along with their parents' friends, in a vain attempt to stop themselves from crying. Dance little wolf, dance for us, they would yell out, finding joy in every fumble and misstep. Yet they never stopped, always getting back up and entertaining the crowd. Ripping their heart on a silver platter to feed the wolves around them, but it was never enough. So they would break and build themselves to entertain and if they could get a good laugh, then their job would be complete.)

Again Darlin's shining eyes stood in stark contrast with their stern face. "Congratulations, you spilled my darkest secret," they said coldly. Their darkest secret? David could see their magic coursing through their veins, ready to shift at a moment's notice. 

"The fuck are you going to do now?" they asked while cracking the bones in their hands, a sign that they were itching to fight but desperately needed to calm down.

"No need to bring out the claws, pretty thing. Unless you're going to dig them into me," he cackled, but the sick desire to be mauled by them was painted in bright colours on his face. Quinn took a couple steps towards them, standing between himself and Darlin'. "I just want one thing from you, precious," he started with a composed tone. "Come back with me, and I let your pathetic Alpha leave tonight alive."

The only thing that was stopping David tearing Quinn apart limb from limb were the stupid fucking magic dampening cuffs that were still on his wrist. So instead he pleaded to anyone above who was listening to force Darlin' to turn away and run. He might not have been able to save them back then, but he could at least stop them from reliving the same tragedy.

David could feel Quinn's fingers dig into his hair, pulling him up to look into his rotten eyes. "Don't speak while they make their decision, mutt," he ordered and with a flash of red, he felt the trance take over his body. Throat constricted and choking on a silent scream, he couldn't do anything while Darlin' was mulling over their options. 

There was no point in trying to guess what choice they would make, it being as obvious as they were beautiful. David tried to memorize every inch of them before they were gone forever.

Darlin' had always been too selfless for their own good, always putting others over themselves. It was what made David so obsessed with them, finding beauty and good in even the most despicable people. They had a gentle heart, one that was beaten and hardened with life but at the very core still remained one of the best people he's known. If given the option to save themselves or another person, they would choose the other no matter the circumstances.

They looked up with determined eyes and a final answer. David tried to scream and yell to get them to stop, but both their resolve and the trance were too strong for him to overcome.

Walking up to Quinn, Darlin' put their hand in his. A sheep walking straight into the jaws of a wolf. 

"I'll go with you, only if you promise to leave the pack alone," they demanded, making sure their sacrifice would not go in vain. Not that it would stop him, but empty promises were always better than none.

He rolled his eyes. "Fine, I'll make sure that your silly little pack will be ok," he sighed with great effort and rolled his eyes. David couldn't help but be disgusted, not understanding how anyone could act like they needed to inflict pain to survive. "Besides, why need anyone else when I have you for the rest of our eternity?" he asked in glee, knowing his answer already.

(There were wolf howls in the distance, not far, but not close enough to make it there in time. They needed to find a way to stall him a little longer.)

Before Quinn could drag Darlin' off to their doom, they resisted, pulling back their arm to make one last request. "I want to say goodbye to him," they requested while looking at David. If they were scared, then they were doing a good job of hiding it. Something told him that he was the more terrified one between the two.

Quinn tried to argue against it, saying that if they stayed a second longer then he would go back on his promise. But with enough pleading and ass-kissing, he relented. "You can have your last goodbye. Make it count though because you'll never see them again," he sneered, spitting in Darlin's face in a show of dominance. 

They didn't respond, not wanting to test him even further. Not when David was here and in immediate danger.

They shuffled over to David, kneeling to be on eye level with him. Holding his broken and bruised face in their hands, he could see the amount of unsaid words running through their head. David tried to speak again, cursing the trance for forcing his silence. He wanted to reassure them that no matter what, he would always love them. That he was sorry for not telling them sooner. Maybe if he had they wouldn't have to turn to Quinn in the first place.

But most importantly, he wanted to tell them that he would hunt Quinn down, that through hell and high water that he was going to bring them back home. This wasn't a promise, this was a declaration that David would follow through with.

Finally finding the words to condense the years of love that they buried within themselves, Darlin' opened their mouth to speak. “I love you David," they whispered, tears already dropping onto their cheeks. "And I’m so sorry it has to end this tragically before it can even begin, but I would do the same thing. A hundred times over. In every damn universe where I have the honour and privilege of being able to love you.”

Darlin' did love him. And he repaid that love with nothing but pain. 

Quinn clearly had enough with not being the center of attention, deciding to take matters into his own hands to take Darlin' away. "Let's go, precious," he growled while dragging them up to his feet and pulling them away from David. "And before we go," he said, grinning while grabbing the necklace around their neck and ripping it off into a broken chain. "We don't need any extra baggage with us, right?" he snarked, glaring right at David. Quinn knew exactly where the necklace came from.

It was the necklace David gave Darlin' the night he realized how he felt for them.

As he tried to scream after them, his vision began to blur. Fuck, he couldn't have been passing out now! Not when they were still too close for him to save. But he lost too much blood, it being a miracle that he was still able to move, even if it was to hold his head still to look back at him. The further Quinn walked away from them, the looser the trance became. It didn't matter though, his voice was raw from earlier, and his body couldn't move with how beaten he was.

Darlin' managed one last look behind them, with one last apologetic look. He couldn't do much, but he could at least let them know the answer to their forced confession.

'I love you', he mouthed over to them. Tears were already welling in his eyes, knowing he would never get the chance to say to them properly, with confidence and love. 

But it seemed like that was all they needed. Vision fading, his last image of them was a content smile and the thought that they were loved was all they had asked for. Darlin' deserved so much more.

His eyes closed, hoping that maybe this would be the end of this nightmare. Maybe when he wakes up, Darlin' would be beside him, or even in his arms. Wouldn't that be lovely.

(The other wolves were close enough to help, leaving nothing but carnage and an unrecognizable corpse in their wake.)

–

"Oh God, is he gonna wake up?"

"It's gonna take time for him to wake up. Quinn left did a shit ton of damage, so the healing magic's need to take his time to work properly."

"Thank you, Marie. I don't know what we would have done without you."

"No problem, Asher. How bout you and Milo go grab us some food to eat? It's been a hell of a week for all of us."

"No problem ma."

"Hey kid, you alright?"

"Hm? Oh. Yeah I'm good. It's just… weird seeing David so… vulnerable."

"But he's alive and that's all thanks to you, Darlin'."

"He wouldn't have been hurt if it wasn't for me!"

"We both know this ain't your fault, that was Quinn's. So don't be out here blamin' yourself for shit you didn't do."

"…Ok, I won't shit on myself."

–

David never was a deep sleeper, always waking up at the slightest sound in the area. So why didn't he wake up to the sound of another person's breathing in the room?

He opened his eyes, immediately wanting to go back to sleep. Exhaustion was so embedded in his bones and his throat was as dry as sandpaper. Looking to his bedside table on the left, he saw a water bottle and silently cheered. He uncapped it and chugged it down, getting some feeling back into his mouth.

He was so focused on his thirst that he didn't realize Darlin' was sleeping in a chair to the right of him.

His breath hitched. How on Earth were they still so pretty while they slept? So serene and peaceful, David would do anything to keep them in this state. The detail that stood out most to him were the tear tracks on their face. Who the fuck made them cry? Where were they so that he could give them a piece of his mind and a bite with his teeth.

His head throbbed in pain with memories from what he felt was last night. Quinn torturing him to lure in Darlin'. How fucking creepy he was when they showed up. The way he was about to drag Darlin' away from him and the pack permanently. The confession that seared itself into his brain.

Oh my God. They confessed their feelings to each other.

In his pondering about the confession, he didn't realize that Darlin' had woken up. It was only when they jumped into his arms to give him the biggest hug they could have given anyone.

"Thank God you're alive," they said softly, voice muffled with their face in his chest. Frozen and unsure of what to do next, he followed his instincts and wrapped his arms around them. One arm snaked his way to their back and he put the other on their head, giving them a little massage. (Their gentle hands were nothing like Quinn's harsh ones.)

Reluctantly, they both let each other go, letting their hands linger on the other's body. Silence filled the room as the two wolves stared at each other, his green eyes meeting their tear filled ones. David brought his hand up slowly, giving Darlin enough time to move away if they needed to. But they didn't. He wiped the tears falling down on their face, watching as that simple action was enough for them to break.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," they sobbed and apologized profusely, pretty eyes not looking at him anymore. He was scared that they were going to pull away from his hand, but instead they went back to burying their face in his chest.

David was confused. He didn't know why they were apologizing. If anything, he should have been the one saying sorry. Had he been not stupid enough to get kidnapped by Quinn, then they wouldn't have felt the need to play the martyr. Not that either of them were to blame, the reason was hopefully left to burn in the sun.

"Shhh, this wasn't your fault," he said to comfort them, rubbing a hand up and down their back. They pulled their head back and he could imagine all the arguments that they were willing to bring up as a rebuttal. He wasn't going to let them get the chance to atone for the sins of a dead man, especially one as cruel as him.

Before they could open their mouth, David held them by the shoulders. "Hey, nothing was your fault," he said sternly. He needed to be clear with them, lest they carry this unwarranted guilt with them for the rest of their life. "You don't need to apologize for what that asshole did to the both of us. Look at me when I tell you this," he emphasized while tilting their head up. "Everything, all of this, that was Quinn's shit, not yours. Don't let the leech tell you otherwise."

A shaky sigh and nod indicated that they heard him loud and clear. But he knew that Darlin' hearing his words and understanding them were two different things. It was ok though, he was going to stand by their side and help them through this.

Another period of silence settled in the room, this time with stiff and uncomfortable air. David didn't know how he was going to address the fucking confession. There was no denying their feelings for each other, no way to downplay their words to just a heightened adrenaline rush. So close to their hearts coming together, only to let circumstances from putting their hearts on their sleeves.

He was tired of letting circumstances dictate when or how he got what he wanted.

"I have tickets to the Dires game if you want to come with me." He absolutely didn't have tickets for the game, given how hard they were to come by. But he was sure that he could use his connections to get some. Anything for Darlin'.

Confusion grew on their face. "…You don't like hockey," they said with a questioning tone, and they weren't wrong. He was never a fan of any sports, not finding the intense stress he's seen his friends go through worth the struggle. But he could learn to like hockey for them. He could learn to like anything for them.

He shrugged to hide the fact that his heart was beating erratically. Acting in the most nonchalant way was his only answer to not making a fool of himself.

Ever observant as they were, Darlin' asked him, "is this your way of asking me out on a date?" They nailed the coffin that buried David's confidence.

"Well yeah, only if you want to of course." He stopped himself from rambling, it would have been unbecoming of him as an Alpha. But David couldn't help but let his nerves and anxious thoughts run rampant until they gave him an answer. The butterflies in his stomach were at their beck and call, and there wasn't any other way he would want it.

"Well, I guess I can't say no to free tickets," they giggled. It was a heavenly sound, worth all the pain and strife he'd had to go through in his life. If he had a purpose in this world, it was to keep them smiling, and he was going to take that job seriously. 

He told them the details about the date, when to get ready and when he was going to pick him up. While he was talking, he was trying to find a way to get tickets, going through all of the contacts that he knew. If all else fails, maybe he can beg Milo for his tickets. Dreams can come true and David was going to get those tickets somehow.

Mustering up the confidence, he leaned in closer to their face. "Can I kiss you?" he asked, making sure he had their full consent before kissing them. (He couldn't help but remember what they said about Quinn forcing them to love him.)

"Mm, I don't know," they teased with that perfect smirk of theirs. "I only kiss after the first date, Davey."  Their sultry tone did nothing to hamper the desire to bite their lips.

Instead of rejection, he laughed at their joke. "You're such an asshole," he said, in awe of the beautiful wolf in front of him.

"Yeah, but you love me."

He did. He loved them the way water rises to kiss the moon.

[archonsoflove]

his love language | part 3

featuring: cyno, tighnari, diluc x gender neutral! reader

{appreciation}

Cyno was, by far, the most unusual man you had ever met. Your expedition into the desert on behalf of the Akademiya had been gruelling, to say the least, and meeting the Mahamatra of all people had been a shock to your system.

But he had been your saving grace, safely escorting your group to the ruins you were after. You’d been off course by a few kilometers.

“Do you know why we all have such dry skin out here in the desert when working?” he had asked you, the threat of a smile glimmering in those violet eyes. “Because we have no elbow grease to put into it.”

Your partners had groaned in protest behind the two of you, but Cyno didn’t miss the small smile fighting against your schooled features. 

“I thought you hated my jokes. But I panicked and told them for the rest of that journey!” Cyno laughs about it now, shaking his head. 

You bumped shoulders with him, a light blush dusting your cheeks. You sat knee to knee in front of a fire, the stars bright in the desert sky.“I am just as silly as you for appreciating them so much.That’s what makes us so goof together, don’t you think?”

You would never tire of his jokes, no matter how much Tighnari and Collei complained. They were simply so Cyno, and you wouldn’t trade it for the world. Whenever he would be called for work, you’d be left at home with your books for a few weeks, finding a few jokes every now and then to store away for his return. 

He had travelled by boat to the borders of Sumeru and Natlan, and you had the perfect joke in mind for his return:

  “Where do boats go when they’re sick?

The boat doc.”

•

{shared interests}

All Tighnari had even known his entire life was the forest. Foraging, hunting, and studying were in his nature, and sharing this part of himself with you was his greatest treasure. 

You had never been one to hunt, and ran headfirst into the desert ruins, filled with theories and rich history in the house of Vahumana instead. The forest was quite a change of pace.

“I am not too sure this is a good idea…” you faltered, your hand on the recurve bow shaking ever so slightly as Tighnari helped you knock the arrow and pull it back with the other.

His hand tightened on yours, the soft pads of his fingers warm on the back of your hand. Your arm steadied and you took a deep breath in. 

“See?” you could hear the smile in his voice as he helped you aim. “You’ve got this. Now just…”

He let go of you and took a step back. He stood behind you, arms crossed and watching proudly as you finally took your shot. The arrow was off by an inch as it flew past the bundle of Zaytun peaches ahead. 

You sighed in relief, handing the bow back to the forest ranger immediately.

 “While you look incredibly cool, I have a feeling that crossbows might be my forte.”

Tighnari laughed and brought you in for a hug, a hand reaching up to brush hair away from your face. “Then that’ll be what we try next.”

•

{acts of service}

Diluc, whether it be due to his publicly stoic nature, or the past weighing heavily on his shoulders, is only open with his affection towards you behind closed doors. 

You dote on him terribly. Finding him up late in his study most nights, eyes darkened with fatigue, a cup of tea or simply a steady and quiet presence next to him, watching him pour over document after document is enough. 

“You should come to bed,” you gently say, a hand brushing disheveled red hair from his face. 

Unwilling to argue for once, he’d allowed you to escort him happily – and far too giddily for so late – into the adjoining bathroom. A bath had been drawn and the soft scent of Cecilia oil was a soothing balm to the tension headache building behind his eyes. 

MASTERLIST

It was in thoughtful moments like these that he felt most in love with you. After years of living by himself, trapped in that dark place broiling with revenge, he had now found peace. And knowing you’d be there to look after him, and see him through his worst days, made his heart feel just that little bit lighter.  

-------》 part 4

[themourningfox]

Fluffy Kitty, Sweet Kitty | Commander Cody

I have no idea what made me inclined to write this. It's been a very long time, so...anything could have. Regardless, I hope you enjoy it!

Commander Cody x GN!Reader. Fluff. Singing. Commander Cody being clumsy and shy. Probably OOC.

Your relationship with Cody was an interesting one to say the least. The two of you had met about a year ago when he had been wheeled into your medbay with a glower on his face and a stern set to his chiseled jaw. Behind him, General Kenobi stood with his arms folded across his chest.

“My sincere apologies,” Kenobi said, dipping his head in greeting to you. “Commander Cody seems to believe that he is not in need of medical help, and I may have forced him to come here. I would appreciate it if you would look him over as I think his arm has been popped out of socket.”

The subtle rolling of Cody’s eyes and the small puff of air he forced through his nose led you to believe that Cody was peeved at his General.

The pair was amusing, watching them behave like an old married couple. A mutual respect that ran deep, you assumed. But you wasted no time in tending to Cody, coaxing him out of his white and gold armor to take a look at what lay beneath. When he tried to move away from your hands, you slapped his arm and raised your eyebrows in a silent challenge. His amber eyes lit up at the challenge, but he didn’t try to move again. Humming in victory, you had tended to his arm.

After that, Commander Cody came to see you for all his medical needs, small or large.

“I have a pounding headache, nurse.”

“That’s doctor to you and certainly you have pain meds at the ready for this type of thing? No need to come to me for this.”

“Doc, I have a sprained ankle.”

“You were barely gone for five minutes!”

His company never failed to make you smile, despite his outward stern appearance.

It was a late night of working. You were filling out paperwork in your office, hunched over the desk. You barely registered the door to the room opening, not looking up as you waved to the person.

“If you need something, I’ll be right with you.”

“What are you still doing up?” Cody’s voice hit you like a nine-pound hammer.

Your eyes swept up and locked with his, pen stilling. Your cheeks flushed, tongue wetting your lips before you sat up straight. “Something you need, Commander?”

His eyes narrowed, eyebrows furrowing as he walked over to you and stood behind your chair. He leaned forward and you moved with him to avoid his chest bumping into you. Gloved hands fanned out your paperwork before he hummed in disapproval.

“Anything I can help you with?” you asked again, heart racing at his close proximity.

“As a matter of fact,” he gave you a sweet smile, something that almost made your heart stop. “I can’t sleep.”

“Oh! Well, I have medicine for th—”

“No, I don’t want medicine.” He dismissed that idea with a wave of his hand.

You blinked in confusion. “Then...I’m not sure how to help?”

“I hope you don’t find this too forward,” he said, hesitation creeping into his tone. “But I would like to ask you if you would accompany back to my quarters.”

His...his quarters. He wanted you in his room? Heat rushed to your face and for a moment, all you could do was stare at him. “To help you sleep?”

Cody nodded, rubbing his arm almost shyly. “I assure you nothing inappropriate would happen.”

Oh good heavens, if that didn’t make your heart flutter you didn’t know what else would. You stood up, hopefully not too quickly, and nodded. “Well, if this is a medical issue...and you are asking for my professional help...I can’t say no.”

“Oh yes, most definitely a medical issue.” He nodded, grinning crookedly at you.

“Then lead the way, Commander,” you said, falling into step beside him.

Back in his quarters, he was laying in his bed with you by his side. Your fingers idly brushed through his thick black hair, humming in contentment. This was so nice. His eyes were closed, head tilted to lean into your touch.

“Sing for me?” he asked quietly.

Softness filled your chest and you smiled. “Fluffy kitty, soft kitty, little ball of fur,” you sang, scratching at his messy hair.

One eye popped open and he fixed you with a stern look. “I am amongst the fiercest among the clones. Do you really think this is wise?”

You giggled, gently poking his nose. “Sweet kitty, happy kitty, purr purr purr!”

“You lucky I’m off duty,” he sighed, eye closing again and letting himself be pet.

[heepthecheep]

Inklings 2024- (Insert title here)

Whoops, I posted this last night but I forgot to tag you @inklings-challenge

I would like to sincerely apologize ahead of time for the formating. I can only post from my phone and Tumblr isn't accepting the formating from Google docs. I have no idea what this thing looks like on a computer and I promise that I know what a paragraph break is.

I managed my time really horribly, and I hope to improve for next year. I only got to go over this thing once and it shows.

I was also attempting to write something for a younger audience than I normally go for, because out of Lewis's works I'm most familiar with his Narnia series.

Aboard the New Eden, there is never a quiet moment. At dawn-or the closest thing to dawn: the flicking on of the incandescent bulbs startled awake a chorus of birds. The birds set off the wolves, dogs, and all other manner of dog-like things. Then the whole ship comes alive, squawking and screeching until breakfast is served. At night, the dark is full of insect song and the fluttering of leathery bat wings. It’s enough to cover the sounds made by a lone person. It could cover the sounds of many people, but as far as Ada was concerned, she may as well have been the only human aboard the rocketship. The crew existed in a world entirely separate from the live cargo in the great hold of the ship, stories above in the flight deck. They didn’t even come down to take care of the animals-they left all of that up to the Spitzes.

From where she was now, she could see one, a white fluffy thing with a curled tail. It awkwardly stumbled around on delicate hindlegs, struggling to pour a bucket of chum into a seal’s enclosure. The spitz grumbled as the fish finally plopped out onto the ground, pulling back its ears as the seal loudly barked. Placing the handle of the bucket in its mouth, the spitz trotted off on all fours. Ada waited until the clicking of the dog’s nails faded before she eased open the grate covering the vent in which she was currently crouched. She crawled out and stretched, wincing as she popped. Tiptoeing past the seals and their fishy meal, she made her way to another enclosure, this one for a pair of hippopotamuses. The larger of the two opened its mouth and bared its tusks at her as she reached between the enclosure’s bars.

“Easy, “ she whispered. “I’m not going to hurt you,”

She grabbed an unpeeled orange off of the ground and wiped the rind on her shirt. She took her fruit back to the vent and sat at the opening, tossing pieces of orange peel into the animal enclosures nearest to her. It wasn’t enough. She’d have to go out and look for more later, perhaps when they fed the elephants.

Ada jumped as something clanged loudly, uncomfortably nearby. She pulled herself into the vent and pulled the door closed behind her. She strained her ears, trying to hear above the din of machinery and animals, and her own heartbeat pounding in her ears. Footsteps. She tilted her head and listened: not from behind her in the darker depths of the air filtration system, not from out in the vast menagerie, but from above. The footsteps were too heavy for a spitz’s, too calm to belong to some escaped animal. It was a sound she hadn’t heard since leaving Earth, a sound that she had been dreading, a sound that could only mean trouble.

“Hello, Mister!” One of the spitzes called out shrilly. “Did you come to see our work? We’ve been doing good work, lots o’ good work!”

Ada slowly inched towards the grate, and peered outwards, praying that she wouldn’t be seen.

“Yes, I came to check on you and the others,”

She could see the spitz now, running excitedly towards the stairs to greet a young man. It was the same dog before, although it looked much happier than when it was working.

“Mister! Mister!” It barked, curled tail wagging furiously.

“But first, would you be able to show me where the supplies are being kept?” The man asked, reaching out to pet the dog on the head.

“Supplies? Which part?”

The man started walking again, towards the place where Ada was hidden.

“We have lots of supplies, but we’re only allowed to touch the stuff meant for the animals,”

“The vittles,” The man said. He glanced over his shoulder nervously.

“Vit-tells?” the spitz’s head tilted at the question. “Vit-tells?”

“I mean food. Things you eat. Where do you keep what you feed to the rest of the animals here?”

“Well, there’s a big icebox for all the meat on the other side of this floor. Most of the dry stuff is two floors down, ‘sept for the oats, which we keep up here for the hooved things”.

“I see,”

The man and the dog were eye-level with the vent. Ada sat as still as possible, taking small quiet breaths. The man’s eyes passed over the vent, but he seemed not to notice her.

“Do you want to go and see the supplies now?” The man turned back to the spitz and shook his head.

“No, I can find them on my own now. Thank you.”

“Are you sure?”

“You did such a good job of telling me, I don’t need to see it”.

The man patted the spitz’s head again, and the dog skipped happily around in a circle.

“Will the rest of the humans come down to visit us? We’ve been working so hard!”

The man shifted awkwardly and rubbed his elbow.

“I’m sure the rest will be down eventually,” The spitz’s ears and tail drooped. “We’ve been so busy, but we do appreciate your work.”

“Oh. Okay, well, there sure is a lot of work that needs to be done. You wouldn’t happen to have any treats on you?”

“No, sorry”. The man said, shaking his head again. The spitz scampered away, nails clacking over the metal floor. The man watched the dog go, then turned and looked straight at Ada. She stared back, stock-still.

“Who are you?” he mouthed.

“What?”

“Who are you? Are you one of the crew?”

Ada shook her head. “No- I’m with the spitzes”.

“Really?”

“Uh-huh,” Ada said. “A handler, if you will.”

“Well, I’m part of the crew, and I haven’t seen you around before.”

Ada slunk back further into the vent. “I could say the same for you. Where’s your uniform?”

“Where’s yours?” He squinted at her, leaning forward to peer through the grate.

“It’s being washed right now.”

“Which is why you’re crawling around in the dusty vent?”

Ada crossed her arms and scowled.

“That’s none of your business,”

They looked at each other for a few moments before the man spoke again.

“I’m Kaspar”.

Ada held her silence for a moment more, before sighing and crawling back out of the vent.

“I’m Ada. You’re not really with the crew up top, are you?”

“No, no, I am part of the crew…”

“You don’t sound like you do,”

Somewhere, something cawed out, setting off an echoing choir of screeches and cries. The two stood awkwardly, looking out over the menagerie. This time Ada broke the silence.

“Are you also not supposed to be here?”

“Here? On this ark?” He asked, gesturing to the vast room. “No, I’m not”.

Somewhere a donkey bayed forlornly, causing a monkey to start screeching in panic.

“I figured as much. The Spitzes wouldn’t know any better, but I do.” Ada said, brushing dust off of her shirt. “After all, I actually know-”

“Shh, shut up!” He hissed.

“Why? It’s absurd, you know. Breaking onto a rocket bound for Venus, hiding out amongst a bunch of animals,”

“Be quiet!”

“For some rich guy’s zoo-”

He pushed her into the vent and crawled in behind her, shoving her into the darkness.

“What!”

“Shut up, someone’s coming,” he whispered harshly. “C’mon, we’ve got to go”.

Ada nodded and started crawling away from the light. She looked over her shoulder, back towards Kaspar.

“Are you coming?”

“Yes, I am! I just wanted to make sure we weren’t being followed!” he whispered back. Ada continued through the darkness, Kaspar hot on her heels.

“There’s a spot ahead where it gets wider,”

A loud clang echoed behind her. Ada startled and glanced over her shoulder.

“Ow!” Kaspar swore under his breath.

“Watch out, the ceiling is low!”

Kaspar grumbled, before bumping into her.

“I said watch it!”

“I can’t see anything!”

Ada grabbed his hand and pressed it to the floor.

“Feel the pattern in the metal?”

“Uh, you mean the seam?”

“Yes. Keep your hand on it and your head low,” She whispered. Kaspar tapped the floor and nodded.

“Good, your eyes will adjust soon”.

They continued through the dark in silence. Behind them, they could hear the chattering of the spitzes. Slowly, the dark became less black, fading until the walls of the vent were once again visible. The ceiling was higher, high enough that Ada could sit up straight, although Kaspar still had a hunch in his back. Overhead, light filtered in through a different grate, along with the soft sound of bird song. She pressed a finger to her lips, listening for any indication that Spitzes or other people were above. After a moment, she dropped her hand.

“Okay,” she said softly, “Here’s my little corner of New Eden”.

“The vents! I hadn’t even thought of hiding in the vents until I saw you!” Kaspar exclaimed.

“Well, I didn’t think I could get away with hiding anywhere else”.

Kaspar glanced around the metal room and then pointed to the bedding on the ground and the small pile of clothing and supplies that she had brought with her. “You even had time to furnish the place!”

“Not really,”

“Hey, it’s more than I have! I wish I had thought of a hairbrush…” he said longingly.

“Where have you been hiding?”

Kaspar reached into his hair and pulled out a piece of straw, the same color as his messy locks.

“In the hay room,”

“Like…in the straw?”

“Yep! The day before liftoff I buried myself in the back,” He said with a grin, dropping the piece of straw into Ada’s hand.

“But then you came right out and showed yourself?” Ada asked, turning over the piece of straw in her hand. “Instead of staying hidden?”

“Well, the hay was getting used up. There wasn’t going to be much left for me to hide in.” Kaspar plucked the piece of straw out of her hand and stuck it behind her ear like a pencil. Ada snorted.

“So you decided to convince the dogs that you belonged here?”

“Correct!”

Ada rolled her eyes.

“It worked!” Kaspar exclaimed. “Earlier today I talked to one of them, and I got something to eat that hadn’t been chewed on by an animal.”

Kaspar knelt on the ragged blanket that was currently serving as Ada’s bed and smoothed out the fabric. He leaned against the wall with a sigh and closed his eyes.

Ada thought he had fallen asleep when he spoke again.

“What are you going to do when we reach Venus?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” Ada said crossly. “Get off my bed”.

Kaspar scooted off of the blanket without opening his eyes.

“I’m going to get a job. There’s lots of work to be done at the menagerie. If there isn’t, then there’s plenty of work elsewhere in the settlements”.

“I see,” she uncrossed her arms and leaned against the opposite wall.

“So, what about you?”

Ada didn’t answer, instead turning to look down at the darkness of the vent.

“Ada?”

“I don’t know. When I left Earth-” she paused and thought for a moment. “When I left Earth, I thought I had nothing left. But now I don’t know.”

Kaspar opened his eyes and looked at her, even as she looked off into the darkness.

“How will I explain my arrival on Venus? Surely everyone will know that I’m a stowaway.”

“So? Stowaways exist, regardless of whether they’re wanted,”

“Yes, but do I look like I’m cut out for physical labor? Can you imagine me pouring concrete at some construction site? Or welding steel beams 500 feet off the ground?” Ada asked, clenching her hands into fists. Her eyes were burning from tears that she refused to let fall.

“Who said you’d have to do something like that?”

“No one, no one did, but I don’t know what I’m going to do!”

Kaspar laughed, the first laugh either of them had heard since leaving behind Earth.

“Are you laughing at me?” Ada asked incredulously. “Really?”

“You’re so worked up about something that hasn’t even happened yet,”

“And this is funny because…?”

“Because I know you’ll figure something out. You’ve gotten this far,”

“Without getting caught,”

“Yes, without getting caught! If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere.”

Ada finally met his gaze and smiled softly.

“I can make it anywhere,” Ada repeated. Though the tears still threatened to fall, her smile grew wider. “I can even make it on Venus”.

[maximwtf]

request for izzy hands x male or gn reader (romantic). reader is friends with calico jack (i luv will arnett so lets pretend calico is alive lmao). back on hornigold's ship, izzy, blackbeard, calico and reader were extremely close/ tight with one another. so yk how they hinted at calico and ed having relations w one another at some point? maybe that also happened with reader and izzy. like there has always been romantic tension between reader and izzy and they both acted upon it at some points but never really made anything official.

anyways, they each go their separate ways eventually. izzy going with ed and calico and reader being impulsive and crazy sons of bitches who just end up seeing wherever the sea takes them without any plans. years later, calico jack and reader reunite with ed and izzy (and now stede is there of course, as well as the rest of the crew). izzy and ed assumed reader to be dead for a very long time up until this point. idk just re-blossoming romance with izzy x a reader who is his complete opposite and is fucking crazy. first kiss possibly and idk i've never seen any fics where reader is friends with calico so! sorry if this is redundant or hard to read. english is not my first language. bonus points if reader can convince calico jack to take a bath (that man smells like shit 100%)

Izzy Hands x Reader

Words: 4k

Google Docs Pages: 6

Warnings: smoking, drinking, idiots in love fr, if you squint there’s some angst, mostly just fluffy banter idk I don’t usually write stuff like this :”D 

Opening: You go way back with Blackbeard, Calico Jack and Izzy Hands, all the way to the time you were a part of Hornigold’s crew. But eventually all nice things have to come to and end, and you all go your separate ways. You stick with Calico Jack and lose contact with Blackbeard, and Izzy whom you’d grown fond of. 

After a long time, you come across the two at Spanish Jackie'z, and realise that same old fondness never really disappeared. 

AN// Gn Reader! I meant to write this as a he/him, but I forgot xd. I’m so sorry this took me so long to make, omg :”D I got into so many other things after ofmd that I couldn’t bring myself to write the rest of the requests, but aye I’m here again and as good as new! (or maybe not, maybe I forgot how to write for these characters.) Anyway, I’ve had time to let this one brew. I’ve loved the idea since it came in, had lots of fun with this !!

Anyway I wanted to write this before I get Baldur's Gate 3, just in case I want to start writing for that and postpone these even more :”D So enjoy the last Izzy request I had left!! <3

“A light that never goes out.”

As famous as the ship of Hornigold’s might have been, life as a part of the crew was not the easiest. Hornigold wasn’t afraid of threatening his crew, nor was he playing around when he did so. You’d seen how he treated the young cabin boys on board, like disposable toys. And maybe he did have more respect for the older crew members, but that did not save you from the overly hard work and stress of the captain acting on his threats. Which you knew he would do with no problem and most likely with a smile on his face. 

So what did you do to get through your days on a ship like this? You drank with the fleet. And that you were doing now, knowing there wasn’t anything to be done for the day. The sun had already set and the sea calmed down to rest for the night.

An oil lamp on the table was providing some light, otherwise the space was rather murky. An empty rum bottle had fallen on its side in the middle of the table, a freshly opened one going across the table, person to person. There wasn’t any to waste, though you played around with the thought of sharing being caring.  

Calico Jack sat on the other side of the table from you, Edward closest to him. You watched the bottle being passed between them, the noise of Izzy moving ever so slightly behind you bringing you back from your thoughts. This allowed you to pick up on the topic of the conversation. Jack and Edward complaining about the captain, Jack clearly a little more buzzed based on his speech. You flashed them a lazy smile, agreeing with what they were saying that way. Not joining the conversation since the two of them seemed to be so deep into it. But it was nothing unusual. Usually as the night went on the two of them would continue to converse, leaving you and Izzy to the sidelines to do your own thing and jump in on the topic when you felt like it. But neither of you minded that, usually finding the silence comfortable or conversing with each other silently. He was pleasant to talk to, even if you knew he wasn’t so fond of Jack and his behaviour that had rubbed off on you over time. Though, you tried to keep it at bay when with him.  

You leaned back on your chair, stretching your arms. The action allowed you to see Izzy as he pulled a packet of cigarettes from his pocket. You gave him a look, not asking for anything but hoping he got the idea. And he did, he always did. Which you were glad of, since asking to come for a smoke with him felt like you’d turned into a begging puppy. Knowing the next time you or anyone else would get their hands on some more was unknown. 

So you excused yourself, leaving for the main deck with him. Not going far, near the railing. You leaned against the gunwale, eyes fixated on the light waves hitting the hull. Izzy followed suit, leaning his elbow on the gunwale before lighting the cigarette he was holding. He took the first drag from it before offering it to you. Of course he did, he never gave you your own. That would have been a waste of the small amount you each had, but that did not stop you from complaining about it. “Leftovers?” You raised your brows a little, still taking the cigarette from him. “Better for yer health,” was what he usually went with, like this time as well. “Fuck off,” you replied with a chuckle and took a slow drag. He didn’t say anything to that, turning his eyes to the water as well. 

You didn’t dare to smoke much of what he had left, handing the cigarette back to him. The silence around the two of you wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable, but you felt the need to break it. Something of the way Jack and Edward had been conversing had sparked the interest of talking within you as well. “You ever thought of leaving? Finding another ship to board?” You asked, curious of his answer to be truthful. Because you had, multiple times in fact. You weren’t even sure of the reason for your extended stay. Was it for the trio you hung around? Or was it the threats you feared? You had not a clue, but perhaps if he had thought of the same thing you could push yourself over the edge of leaving as well. “Hornigold may be half insane, but I’ll follow Ed. Doubt we’ll die here, but he won’t stay here forever.” The man next to you replied, taking a rather long drag from the cigarette before lowering his hand and blowing the smoke into the cool sea air. You hummed, tilting your head in understanding. Though, you couldn’t pass up an opportunity to tease the man. So you turned to look at him, pouting as you raised your eyebrows. “Oh?” Was all you had to say for his expression to drop, noticing the way you’d abandoned the initial topic purely for this. “Fuck off, rapscallion. You know what I meant,” he said but you counted on his tone of voice when deciding if he was truly annoyed with you or not. Of which you chose the latter. “What? You’re even pining for him now when you’re up here.” You laughed, following as he shook his head with a disappointed look as he stumped the cigarette. “I’m not going to start this with you,” Izzy mumbled as he turned his eyes back on you. Now clearly a little more annoyed but you said nothing of it, wanting to see where this would go. 

Izzy turned to leave, retreat from the situation. But you had your hopes up, in the sense that you didn’t want for him to leave yet but also hoped that he’d tell you if there was actually something going on. For the sake of your feelings. Which you weren’t going to admit you had for anyone, unless he spoke first. So you took a light hold of the fabric of his shirt, giving him space to leave if he wanted to. But he didn’t. “Come on, ye getting lily-livered on me? Was I right?” You dared to ask, maybe pushing the situation a little far but you took the risk. Though it didn’t seem like he was going to leave, at the very least. He opened his mouth, closing it soon after. Seemingly frustrated. But you saw something else within that initial emotion, hesitation was some of it. Something that had appeared when his back was turned to you earlier. When he thought you wouldn’t notice. 

“Well?” You hummed, an amused look on your face even with the slight anxiety building up within you. His eyes darted across the empty main deck before landing back on you. A sigh left him, pursed his lips in whatever emotion he was feeling at that point. It only making you wonder if you’d gone too far this time.

With a swift motion he placed a hand on your waist, enough to make you land against the gunwale, kissing you rather roughly. A gasp escaped you, eyes widening for a short moment before responding to the action. Something in his manner changed at your response, pulling away slowly and with more calculated movements. It was only when his hand left your waist that you took a breath, blinking at him as your mind tried to come up with anything to say. He didn’t seem to have a grasp on the current situation either, though he had a response in mind for what you’d been waiting for earlier. “Ye never are,” he said before heading back down to Jack and Edward. Leaving you out on the main deck for quite a while before being able to return as well. Only to not speak of that moment openly for a long time after. 

But that was years ago. And after that night and the many more you experienced, the fun came to an end. You all went your separate way, as much as you didn’t like the idea of splitting up in such a manner. But there was no avoiding it. So you chose to stay with Jack, seeing as you had known him for the longest and got along with him the easiest. And as much as he already had seemed like the obvious choice, it also seemed that he did not mind you tagging along with him one bit. 

And there had begun you and his long lasting journey to nowhere. You were finally free of Hornigold’s threats and work, having time to do as you pleased and go where you wanted. And so Calico Jack and you sailed with ships from place to another, keeping from trouble the best you could. Well, from time to time it seemed as if you were keeping him from trouble but at the end of the day it kept the both of you on the safer road. 

But this specific night, you were in the Republic of Pirates. Spanish Jackie'z had become a place the two of you would go to any time you were staying there, and that tradition was not broken this time either. 

The lights were dim where you were seated, at the corner. Not a table Jack would have chosen, but you preferred it. You liked retreating to it if things started getting too rowdy in your opinion, knowing no one would be looking for you in the shaded corners of the tavern. And that was exactly what you were doing now. Observing the people and the conversations happening around you while Jack was causing a commotion somewhere in the crowd. 

And all of that went along how it always did, nothing out of the ordinary. Well, until pirates you didn’t recognize straight away came in. A well groomed man in a fancy clean suit caught your attention first, causing you to furrow your brows in a mix of confusion and interest. He didn’t seem to belong, catching the attention of the other regulars you’d gotten to know over time. With him was a more dark figure, black clothing which blended him in with the rest of the crowd. Or would have if he wasn’t walking so closely to the fancy fellow. The thought made you giggle. But not for long, as your mind started to race when you saw the third party with them, a shorter man. Because the sight of him jogged your memory, made you shake your head to make sure you’d seen correctly. To not get too excited if you’d just been imagining things. But you hadn’t, it was him. And if that was true, the other man must have been Edward. 

Your eyes stayed on Izzy, blinking as the noise from the crowd blended into the background. As if a static had taken over your thoughts. You thought of going over, surprising him perhaps? But you hadn't the time to act on the thought. All the noise suddenly returning as Jack made his way to Edward, almost clinging to the man’s neck. A slight smile making its way to your face, a nostalgic one. Though, you feared what the good old combination of the two would mean for the new fellow. But for now, Edward seemed to be introducing your mate to the man, so you felt at ease with leaving Jack with them. Surely he’d behave….

Your eyes returned to Izzy, finding the man staring at you just as you had done to him. An awkward smile tried to creep its way to your face, feeling the urge to go up to him and have a drink. But the man seemed as if he wanted nothing to do with the place, as that he would have already left if it hadn’t been for you. So you stare back at him, nod your head towards the door he’d just entered from. A subtle invitation for a smoke which you didn’t have, but he didn’t know that when he nodded back at you, accepting the offer. 

So you got up, made your way outside where he had escaped as soon as possible. You took a breath to prepare for a talk, but he beat you to it. “How you are still alive, I cannot say,” he hums, demeanour much calmer than before. His form leaned against a wall, a lot less tense eyes travelled to you. Giving him a chuckle you tilt your head. “Jack is who he is, but he would never-” But it took the mere look he gave you to not finish that sentence. Not what he had meant. “That man may be half insane, but I figured you’d gotten yourself killed elsewhere by now.” He explains, eyes focused on a rum bottle he was opening, figuring out he wasn’t going to get a smoke from you. “Hah! You’d have to find something deadlier than a lead marble to take me down,” you laugh as you take the bottle he was offering. “Though, I’m not sure I can keep dodging the bullet that is an unbathed Jack…” You mumble with a careful expression before taking a swig, earning a low chuckle from Izzy. The angle allowed you to see his face better, confirming that he seemed to be in a better mood. Not as grumpy looking perhaps. But you said nothing of that, letting him off the hook this once. 

The evening starts to resemble a night soon enough, making you and Izzy start to drift over to the shore. At some point, you notice Edward, Jack and the new guy follow, joining in. You wanted to stay longer, to get to know the new man better and to get to talk to Edward as well, but Izzy seemed oddly annoyed with the company getting bigger. So you share a few drinks with them, learn that the name of the man was Stede Bonnet and go your separate ways. 

Separate ways, as in you and Izzy walked over to the jolly boat and waited for the rest of the group to be done with their chatter. Though, it seemed an awful lot like that wasn’t happening any time soon. But while observing the three of them from afar, you noticed that while Stede didn’t seem to be the biggest fan of Calico Jack and the effect he was having on Edward, there was something different in his eyes when he looked at the two of you. 

The man who was now laughing with Ed might have rubbed off on you in the years you’d known him and as much as Stede disliked the persona, something in his chest warmed up when he saw Izzy follow you around. The way he didn’t disturb your rants, listened if not always so keenly and chose to hang around. Because that was something Stede hadn’t seen Izzy do willingly with anyone but Edward. And something about that made the man take peeks at the two of you sitting together, happy for Izzy in his own way. Izzy might have not liked him, but Stede never wanted to make enemies, so perhaps this was good for the self isolated man. 

But you knew nothing of those intentions. Only that his staring was putting you off, not sure what it was about. You could see there was no malice in his eyes. So you couldn’t blame him for staring, for you had been doing that exact same thing to Izzy just back at the bar. But perhaps for different reasons, to which even you hadn’t really given into. It couldn’t be, because all the years at sea should have washed away any previous feelings. There shouldn’t be anything left but an empty table to start over from. A kind of erosion caused by separation. But that thought was too deep to dig into right now. 

You couldn’t quite hear what the three further away were planning, having seated yourself in the boat. Izzy leaning against the head of the small vessel, bottle in hand. The sounds of seagulls far off in the distance, in town. They didn’t bother to come to the shore so late into the night, knowing there was still food to steal where people were buzzed and forgetful. 

“Suppose we’re tagging along.” You start off in order to break the silence which had crept over the two of you. Izzy swirled the liquid in the bottle, raising his gaze over to the sea. “Ain’t that the fucking dream,” he replied but it seemed he mostly meant your companion, not you. But that didn’t prevent you from acting offended. “Don’t pretend like you didn’t miss me at all,” you laugh, the sound of it clearing any doubts from you being tipsy. “Never said I didn’t, ye made that up.” Izzy is quick to answer, allowing himself to drink the leftovers from the bottle, seeing as you’d already had your share and above. You pout at the sight, drawing in a breath. “Hm, maybe I should have been an author after all in that case.” You raised your brows, amused. “Can ye even read?” He asks, eyes back on you. The question receives a chuckle from you before you shake your head. Your drunken mind wanted to say, ‘no, but I can read the tension between us’, but something in you decided against it. Perhaps another time. 

Another moment of silence surrounds the two of you, and for a moment you think you were able to hear the conversation of the three men further up the shore. In reality you should have been a psychic of sorts to have been able to hear them through the sounds of the light waves hitting the stern of the boat.

You smile to yourself, thinking of something to say. “I see yer boyfriend got taken in the end?” You hum, mostly amused but in truth you did want to know if that was what had happened. The question gets Izzy to turn to you swiftly, but the tone of his reply is not affected by it. “He’s still rubbing off on ye. Suppose it’s better you’re tagging along, we’ll get you back on fuckin’ track.” He shakes his head in a disapproving manner, but you see the hint of amusement after his own reply. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you insist. Perhaps he was right, but what else could you have done? You’d been with that menace of a man for years, it was only a matter of time until you would have become a copy of him. Well so you had feared. “Was welcomin’ ye back,” Izzy explains himself. But you had already caught on, just felt the need to be difficult. “So you did miss me, hah!” You chuckle, a little louder than you intended. Perhaps wanting the confirmation more for yourself than anything. In hopes that the earlier thought of erosion had just been a figment of imagination. But the comment only gains a look from Izzy, getting you to lower your voice. 

You drag yourself to a better sitting position, leaning towards the man a little. The bottle in his hand was clearly already empty, yet he attempted to take a swig from it. Perhaps to put out something within him, maybe to get out of the awkward environment you insisted on creating to amuse yourself. But in that moment you let any logical thought go. Taking a gentle hold of his wrist, enough to let him pull away is he so pleased. Yet tight enough to pull him towards you. A test of sorts, to see if he was up for it. To try and light a spark once more, see if it would catch fire this time around. And it takes him quite a while to decide, reluctant. Yet, with a swift motion he kisses you. Giving in to your almost childish suggestion. But that was what lit the spark once more, the same feeling from the past returning. As quick as he had been to pull away, you could have sworn the nostalgic feeling of it all lingered in the air. 

His eyes were focused on you, a hint of fear in them. You couldn’t understand why, almost coming up with a conclusion as to what you had done wrong. Had you taken too tight of a hold of him? Did he regret what he’d done? Wish to take the action back? It scared you. But you weren’t going to let him see that, instead offering the frightened man a smile. Maybe it eased his mind on the matter, leaving more of a conflicted look on his face. 

You let your mind at ease with the thought of all the years that had passed. What did you know of where he’d been and what trouble had he faced? Perhaps he would tell you one day if you stayed a while longer. But right now, it seemed as if he’d been craving for such attention from someone, yet never received it. And if that was the case, you wanted to be a source of that for him. 

But that train of thought was interrupted early on by a gasp. Not the kind you’d hear when someone was frightened or surprised, but the sweet kind. The kind you hear when someone gets something they didn’t expect. The sound was soon covered up, but you had already spotted the source of it. Stede. You’d seen his eyes leave the two of you, furrowing your brows in a mix of confusion and interest. The man seemed oddly invested in the two of you, but for some reason tried to hide it. You weren’t sure if it was for his or Izzy’s sake, but you were sure Izzy had heard it as well. 

As you keep watching, the others swiftly turn to Stede. Not worried, but alerted by the gasp. “Perhaps we should head back. I had something left to do,” the man speaks and this time loud enough that even you can hear it. You can almost also hear the awkwardness in his tone, hoping neither of the men had noticed him staring. Earned a chuckle from you. You watch as Stede gathers himself from the sand, the others getting up as well with questioning looks. You turn back to Izzy. He had definitely heard the gasp as well, but the annoyance from it hadn’t affected him nearly as much as the kiss. Which you found endearing, glad that it hadn’t ruined it for him even if he seemed to have some kind of silent banter with Stede. 

The three men walk up to the jolly boat. You smirk, seeing Jack wobble a little on his feet as they get to the waterline. You got up to meet him, not aware of your own tipsy state and managed to tumble forward a little. So much for the sea legs as you feel Izzy grab the back of your shirt to steady you again. Though he doesn’t hold on for long as he catches up on your intent, allowing you to wobble against Jack, pushing him just enough that he lands into the water. Only, if it hadn’t been for Izzy you would have gone down with him. 

But with his help you had succeeded, laughing as the man groaned in the shallow water, throwing playful curses at you. “Not before you bathe. You reek.” You say, as if you’d grown some standards after hearing Izzy complain of your companion’s personality sticking to you. You hadn’t but perhaps you wanted to pretend you had, for Izzy. 

You give Stede a slight giggle, watching the man step away from the splashed water. Only then noticing how the splash had wet your clothes as well, giving a grumble about it. Though it was all in good fun. “After he’s clean, we’ll set sail,” you give them a firm nod. 

You watch as Jack collects himself from the water, seemingly trying to pull Edward in as well. You smile at them in amusement, the nostalgic feeling creeping back up. Even with the fancier fellow tagging along, it felt like a puzzle being put back together. And you hoped that it would last a little longer this time, not having to go your separate ways again. Because even one night was able to prove to you that you had missed them. Missed the banter, seeing Calico Jack and Edward together and mostly Izzy. And the spark that had lit up once more hoped that Izzy felt the same way. At least about you. 

[orchidyoonkook]

I adore your stories. I literally keep going back to them, they're that good! You're easily one of my favorite fic writers on Tumblr.

I was wondering if I could ask for some writing advice?

I used to write fics, and I have a ton of ideas that I'm wanting to write out. I'm even wanting to pick up and re-write an old fic. My issue is I have no clue where to start again.

How do you get motivated to write?

And do you ever look at your work and feel blah about it, like it doesn't seem to be good to you?

I am so happy this ask caught me on a catch up day. I've literally spent all day catching up on missed asks I can asnwer and reviews and messages. It's honestly like a little reward and for that I wanna say such a big thank you.

Onto!:

(note from future yoon: omg this is so long im so sorry)

I adore your stories. I literally keep going back to them, they're that good! You're easily one of my favorite fic writers on Tumblr.

Well I guess I'm starting this off in tears?? This is the sweetest thing literally ever and I cannot thank you enough for giving my stories a chance. I'm sure you know as a writer yourself but this is the most any writer could ask for in terms of feedback and I literally just wanna hug you.

Thank you so much for reading.

And the fact that I'm one of literally anyone's favourite fic writers is actually insane. Take that highschool english teacher! But in all seriousness I will actually cry this is so kind thank you thank you thank you. 😭😭😭♥♥♥♥♥

I was wondering if I could ask for some writing advice?

Absolutely, always. But idk how good it'll be XD

I used to write fics, and I have a ton of ideas that I'm wanting to write out. I'm even wanting to pick up and re-write an old fic. My issue is I have no clue where to start again.

literal story of my life my god how i relate to this.

How do you get motivated to write?

I don't. That's the thing. When I'm motivated it's like a fluke. (jsyk this is gunna be long because I cant shut up)

TWWWBAATTA was a complete and total fluke. I'd had a dream, it was the first act of the story. I loved the idea so much that when I woke up I wrote the spark notes of it in my notes app. And then I sat on it for two weeks. I hadn't written anything in maybe 4 years, let alone fic, let alone a BTS fic. I'd only ever written one thing prior that wasn't for my education so I had no idea what the hell I was going to do.

The idea kept pounding at the door of my brain, begging to be let in and explore every freaking nook and crany it could. So i let it. and after two weeks, I had a very VERY rough plot. I kept the ideas in either my notes app or a google doc, and i just let them flow. Anything and everything. And soon enough TWWWBAATTA was born.

UTWT came from a writing prompts list. I saw a prompt for "First kiss" and then thought "wouldn't it be cool if it was under a willow tree like the one in my hometown?" and literally 2 days later UTWT was written. -> Rainfall Brings Tomorrow came from an ask, it hit me out of freaking nowhere. I just wanted something short and sweet and ask fulfilling and RBT worked perfectly for that.

TDWV was the first thing I actively sat down and told myself to write. Halloween is my favourite holiday, and I wanted to do something for it last year. I'd had the title written down in my idea's note, and built it up from there. I went to pinterest, I looked at old and new "story ideas" on there and on tumblr lists. I essentially just pick and chose pieces of prompts and stuff from my own ideas and built it up from there. I had a general goal: spooky, yoongi, first attempt at writing smut -> because I always put a challenge in the stories for myself, whether that be writing something I never have or exploring a new topic or following specific tropes <- and then I chose a setting. And literally just built up the story as I went.

Most recently with PG, I'd been in such a writing rut, still am. But I wanted to write SOMETHING. and PG -> Pretty Girl was another thing I'd had in my ideas note. So I took that and then decided in order to just write, I'd write something easy and took a lot of my favourite tropes and decided to write off those. In this case it was older brothers best friend, age gap, forbidden love, yearning, possessive male lead, overprotective older brother and head strong female lead. And went wild with it. I didn't know the member I was writing at first, but then when I went to go write the vibe of the male lead, I realised it was Tae.

Once I have a general idea of the overall story I can usually just channel the rest. As in I can just write the story as it plays out. But sometimes it doesnt work like that and I get stuck, like with a Joon fic I've half started. I have the overall vibe, and I can feel what I want to happen, but I'm missing some key points or I can't see them yet so it's still vibing in my drafts.

So you can see I don't really get motivation so more of a it finds me and then I work on it. Sometimes I have to just make it from thin air. The thing that helps me most tho is I have to remember that I enjoy writing. I like doing it. I like telling stories even if no one else will like them. I like experiencing them with the characters, as the characters, as the settings and their props, i enjoy character creation and giving them their quirks and hobbies and backstories. It's not a chore to write their stories, it's a priviledge they chose me to tell it.

It's so hard to explain, but if you're having a tough time with the stories you're wanting to tell, it probably means they need just a touch more shelf time, or at least so is the case for me.

My advice would be to weave a fic into something you love. My female characters are often in the arts because I love art and creating it. I wove PG from tropes I'm a sucker for. I wove UTWT from a single idea and a tree from my hometown I've always adored. Little itty bitty things like this can drive story ideas and motivation because you can always go back and realise why you were writing it in the first place.

One of the most important things for me is to remember that somebody else has already done your idea. But you haven't. It's never been done your way. And idk about you, but I can absolutely say I've never said "Oh no! not ANOTHER forbidden romance fic! there's just too many of them" because there's not. I will happily read the same exact fic with slight variations a hundred times over. And so will other people, so don't worry about it being like others.

Motivation is something people think they need in order to to the big overall arcing task. But you dont. All you have to do is set aside an hour or three (I use 9pm-midnight) for the thing you want to do. If i write or plot or idea come up with for three hours a night, seven days a week, thats 21 hours of writing time. I could get out 2 sentences or 20k words in that time. But all that matters is that I did SOMETHING.

You don't have to do it all in one go. You don't even have to do it over the course of a set period of time. I started TWWWBAATTA in August of 2022 and I only have 8(?) chapters out. I work on it when I can, but I don't push it because writing is meant to be a hobby I enjoy.

As for where to start. Start somewhere new or somewhere familiar. Pick an idea or a previously written scene and write it or update it to match your current writing style. I cannot begin to tell you the amount of times I've picked up and put down a chapter of TWWWBAATTA because it wasn't what I wanted or I hated the direction it was going. But I always came back and either added or edited, and sooner or later an idea would strike or I'd figure it out through the repitition. Having multiple stories to bounce between has also helped me when I'm stuck. I try to keep three on hand, but two works just as well. Just to get a variation. Like I had PG going at the same time as the previously mentioned Joon fic another Yoongi fic on the go. All differernt genres, all wildly different plots and directions, and just being able to go between the three when one wasn't working to give my brain a breather helped a lot.

is that sufficient? I feel like I've just been ranting about my process versus answering the question, but it's through my process that I answer the question, does that make sense? If not, feel free to ask again or more specifically in exactly what you'd like to know, I'm literally always happy to talk anyones ear off.

And do you ever look at your work and feel blah about it, like it doesn't seem to be good to you?

A L W A Y S. alwayssss. All of the goddamn time. But I see it as a good thing because that means I'm improving.

Writing is one of those things that you will never reach the top skill level off because it doesn't exist. You can always get better, be better, write more, write better, write differently. It's a constantly evolving internal staircase that you will never reach the top of. Which is both extremely relieving because that means you can always improve, and yet incredibly frustrating because you will constantly be looking back on previous works like "what the hell was I thinking' because your style has evolved with the progress you've made.

I used to be so goddamn proud of the first chapter of TWWWBAATTA. I loved it. I thought it was the perfect opening chapter to this huge story in my head. It set up everything, I was just really pleased with it and excited to post it. But I reread it a while ago and my literal thoughts were "This, THIS, is what I was so proud of?? It needs literally so much work oh my god"

And then I remember that I wrote that two years ago, I have two years more of experience than I did before I wrote it. So of course it's not going to be as good as I could do now. But it was as good as I could do then. And that's okay. I'm still proud of 2 years ago me, and I'm happy she was really pleased with her work. She was excited and eager and happy to write. That's the feeling I try to chase with writing, not how good the writing is, but the feeling I get when I do it.

okay rant over, thank you for sending this ask in it was so much fun to talk shop!! I barely do it nowadays with new folks and all my friends are probably sick to death of me talking process XD.

I hope your writing goals are met and your ideas flow. But even if they dont, try writing something completely different. Try to describe a colour without using it's name, or a season without using it's key descriptive points. My favourite is taking cliche lines and reworking them into something different and more creative (ex: "My heart was racing" into something like "My heart threatened to break free from it's prison with nothing more than it's quick thundering beats" you get the gist). Or set a goal for yourself. Write four sentences everyday. They could all be one word. They could all be filled with commas and semi colons and take up half the page when your done.

My point, I guess, is to just write. Whether it's good or bad, doesnt matter, you can always fix it later. Editing is the easy part, you just gotta get the ideas down first, and then refine from there.

[n7punk]

I accidentally drafted this instead of scheduling it for the start of October BUT I wanna talk about the scrapbusting aspect of Sapphic September for me now it's done because it was really successful for me.

Oh to start, let me actually explain scrapbusting: it's going through your scraps/fabric pile and finally sewing the pieces you've stocked up there. Usually it's more of a quilters thing since they can much more easily use small scraps, but the term has spread through the entire sewing community now and I've also seen it used for finally completing projects you may have cut out but never sewn and such.

So a lot of my SS ideas came out of nowhere (what is Ritual. Like actually) but this event was also so good for convincing myself to finally do things I'd been holding on to forever and I wanna go over those! I'm also gonna include a little of AU-ctober/Sheratober in here at the end

highlights / fault lines (OotW) [teeth]: i have had the highlights document sitting in my WIPs folder for 2 years (Oct 2022), starting with the first paragraph in the second scene for the final fic, and then just a little blurb of what the fic would be about (adora struggling to adjust/with her depression after joining the rebellion to explore how unhealthy she managed to be in secret). when I started writing the teeth prompt, i wrote that first scene and went, wait, this could actually tie into that old idea, so i pasted it into that old doc and just went from there. I'm so glad to have finally gotten that idea out there and it was basically accidental lol.

Sickfic (the Greys) [UFO]: another file I've had sitting around for two years (Nov 2022), I wrote the first paragraph and then immediately switched over to what the first chapter of Recycled Stardust ended up being, the museum gallery opening. I was writing it for a friend who was sick, so "sickfic" made sense, but then I had the other idea and asked them which idea they'd prefer, and they chose the art gallery, so that other idea just sat there in my WIPs folder titled simply "sickfic.docx" for two years. When I saw UFO on the list I IMMEDIATELY went oh my god I'm going to finally finish this thing.

the bones of what you believe (OotW) [bones]: This is a partial hit. I came up with the idea for the broken bones thing just for this prompt, but as I started writing it, it naturally morphed into a reality break, and I had the following stub in my OotW ideas folder (titled 'delirium'): "Cognitive dissonance, catra adjusting to bright moon but its so pastel, and soft, and breezy, and smells like open air and flowers, it feels like a halucination, it’s difficult to tell what’s real". I ended up incorporating those aspects into this reality break, which I think works better than trying to turn that into its own fic separately, so another idea down!

Backseat Beast (Trade Today for Tomorrow) [moonlight]: I've had the catcrumbs drawing that inspired this sitting in my drafts, with those tags attached (minus Sapphic September lol), since the 4th of July... 2023. Yeah. I told you this was scrapbusting lol. I knew I wanted to do something with Catra, being far too aware for a kid her age, using it to listen in and be a bit of a little shit, but I never came up with more for it and had the idea it had to be multiple vignettes to make a new installment but like... it doesn't. It can just be one, lol, so as soon as I saw 'moonlight' I thought of TTfT since it's tied into immortality in that verse and I ended up using this idea even though there isn't actually any moonlight directly tied into this idea. I was going to try to write another scene that actually had the moonlight glow, but what I learned this month was that I need to give myself permission to write smaller things more.

mirrorworld (a left turn somewhere around etheria) (OotW) [surreal]: okay obviously I made that original tumblr post four years ago, but I had no intention of actually writing it. I happened to rediscover it two years later though (not really sure when) and decided I should actually write it. Well I wrote one paragraph and then never picked it back up. When I saw both the surreal and mirror prompts I knew I had to actually do this fucking idea now or just delete the damn file lmao.

Starlight (somewhere between the sand & stardust) [the divine/awakening]: This was intended to be my next project after Slipstream before Sapphic September grasped my attention with that fucking ghost prompt. Anyway just a glance at the prompt list told me I could fit in the Lightbeam sequel with these themes somewhere so hey, problem solved! I was a little burnt out on kidfic right after Slipsteam so the break to write all the stupid stuff gave me the room I needed to actually write Starlight.

A Prophecy from an Angry God [prophecy]: Oh boy this one. I don't normally like crossover fic because most of the time the themes of the two things just don't mesh, nevermind the plot, but I do sometimes like AUs just using another universe's rules (thus letting you make your own themes & plot) so that's what I wanted to do with this. The avatar fic came to me as a fever dream in the later house or early morning, I don't remember which, and I made the file in my Scrivener ideas folder on March 24th in 2023, but I wasn't sure I was actually ever going to write it. I remembered it when thinking about prophecy/fate in regards to the Avatar's role, though, and I was like. I'm not deleting this file ever, so I either need to write it now or look at it forever. So I finally wrote it LOL.

In AU-ctober, I've been seeing on the idea for Somewhere Beautiful, We Can Finally Meet for 7 months. I started working on it here and there, but AU-ctober planning started back in early September and I thought this would be a good way to close it out, even if it ended up being much longer than the five days that made up that week.

Rain or Shine I've been sitting on for AGES and the Sheratober prompts helped push me on ideas to finally get it out.

The Green Line idea is only a month old, but it was just "subway AU" and the Sleep prompt came along as a great way to spur interaction by falling asleep on public transit.

[rubykgrant]

Imagine RvB characters with superpowers. But just one each, like in RWBY or My Hero Academia. Could totally see Sarge being an unstoppable force, or Tucker being the center of attention, or Caboose being able to make things not work properly. Church splitting off parts of his psyche as clones. Maine having permanent copies of powers. Wash making a memory fog. Kimball having a speed buff for herself & others. Jax making videos of his memory. Just so many possibilities!

There are a handful of RVB Super Power AUs out there that are all very interesting (the two I'm more familiar with are the "Villain AU" by @smilysstuff , and "We Didn't Even Kiss Until Issue 26" by @cinaed . I've also seen some cool Spider-Man/Spider-Verse concepts from @leonardalphachurch and @donut-entendre ~)

You've got some cool super power ideas for them too! The characters are all so weird, it is easy to take the various talents or certain personality traits and turn them into super abilities, either ones that fit easily with them, or perhaps ones that seem like the "opposite" of what is typical.

If I was going to put them into a Super Hero setting, but maybe try to make it a little different from some of the others I've seen... I might put them in a Batman scenario! Except it doesn't totally follow the same formula... because NONE of these dudes are a billionaire playboy who is also a scientist and expert martial artist. So instead...

"Blood Gulch" is actually the name for a small area of the city (basically, Crime Alley), and through some random (or perhaps connected) events, a lot of people have had an unpleasant experience there... Church woke up with no memory besides his name and a few vague bits of info of his life. Tucker was attacked, and his child was kid-napped. Caboose lost his penny (everybody thinks this is stupid, but you don't understand; it was the GIANT penny!). Donut got nailed with a grenade. Grif got ran-over by a tank (followed by Simmons agreeing to give up some organs to try and save his life at a hospital, but when doctors insisted Grif wouldn't survive the surgery, Simmons followed a very shady tip that somebody from that area could help them both... and so Simmons got a back-alley operation, then woke up a Cyborg. Grif is OK). Sarge got shot in the head. Tex "died" for the first time, and discovered she doesn't STAY dead. A strange villainous voice seems to "haunt" the area, but is only ever heard when Doc is around. Nothing bad happened to Kai, but she got busted for throwing a rave in an old warehouse there once.

Not all of this happened on the same day or anything, but it sure is a COINCIDENCE that all these people hurt somehow in this general area, isn't it!? Anyway, Church meets Tucker after Junior got kidnapped, and despite seeming so unfriendly, he's the only guy that listens to Tucker's weird story (because the group that took Junior didn't seem... human). The cops won't help, and Tucker doesn't want to leave the city unless he has a lead, so... Church takes him to where he's been crashing.

Which turns out to be a HUGE mansion, that has sat abandoned for years. Church may be a hobo, but he's a hobo with standards (also, he seems to know all the combinations for the locks. wonder why). Eventually, they run into Caboose out on the streets, sobbing over his penny. He follows them around all night, and Church finally agrees to let him com back to their mansion. Once inside, Caboose's clumsiness and nonsensical luck allows them to discover SECRET PASSAGEWAYS! There is a whole underground lair below the mansion! With some very interesting (and suspicious) technology. Oh, and it seems to be OCCUPIED as well?

So, while all that was going on, Sarge has been running around Blood Gulch at night, being a weird vigilante about it (he still has his own shotgun, but after it got damaged, the thing doesn't actually fire anymore. instead, he carries it around for the AESTHETIC, and a lot of people in the city start rumors about a guy who has a gun he doesn't shoot for some "metaphorical" reasons, but it really isn't that deep; it broke, he doesn't want to throw it away, he can't afford to get it fixed, and he's too stubborn to just get a new one. on the plus side, various bad guys have gotten the idea that if they don't use guns, the vigilante won't shoot them, so everybody has gotten less lethal in general). Sarge also collects weirdos who have gone through their own odd incidents...

He likes the idea of having a cyborg on his team, and Grif seems to be good at... not dying? That comes in handy. Donut just kinda invited himself and stuck around. Sarge finds an abandoned robot one night, so now they have a robot! His speech functions are stuck on Spanish, but Lopez is very capable at just about any task (he will still complain the whole time). Sarge decides to call their group... The Red Hood Gang! He still wears the red hoodie he had on when he got shot when doing vigilante stuff (plus a mask, and other gear). They move into what they THOUGHT was an old cave system outside the city... and find it has LOTS of interesting tech inside!

When Church's group finds out the Reds are basically living in their basement and hoarding all the cool junk, and the Reds realize these guys have an upstairs with actual bathrooms and a kitchen, they proceed to have a whole war over who gets to keep everything. As they fight and claim certain things for themselves, one of the big computers comes online... and a strange, high-pitched voice who introduces himself as Vic starts giving them info and "advice" on how to find the people that have caused their problems. Begrudgingly, the two groups decide to work together (Church's team calls themselves Blue Birds, since the gear they get is blue, and themed after birds; also, they get a cool vehicle! Sheila is their Batmobile~).

So, now the Reds and Blues are all doing vigilante stuff. They still bicker with each other, but no longer enemies. Other people in the city do not know how to deal with these chaotic weirdos. They eventually meet up with Tex, and Grif's sister figures out what her brother is up to. Doc has a brief time being "kid-napped" by the :evil voice" as O'Malley tries to be a full-on villain like the Joker, but eventually he settles down, accepts that he's really part of Doc, and they other accept Doc is part of their group too. Tucker even gets Junior back, and Caboose finds his GIANT PENNY! Things seem to being well... but THEN-

A corrupt police force doesn't like all these vigilantes exposing their own criminal activity, and hire outside help of a special agent; Washington. He initially tries to very seriously solve some of the problems in the city, and when he gets framed for even BIGGER problems, he just has his own villain-moment, taking it out on the Reds and Blues... but they win him over. New vigilante hero! He moves into the mansion with the rest of them, but one night when they return, the place has a new guest; Carolina, who informs them that this is HER FAMILY'S HOME. She's been away, doing all kinds of cool secret martial arts training around the world (that's right, she's the REAL Batman~), and comes back to to find a whole circus moved in while she was gone?

She also explained that the underground caves were where he father once had a whole secret project going on, with people being part of several experiments that claimed to make them "super heroes", but those running the show had ulterior motives (some of them were selling tech to other groups, thus creating lots of criminals with a huge advantage). Wash had been part of this program, but like the Reds, he never knew about the mansion above ground or the connection to Carolina's family. Tex was part of it too, but she kind of forgot some of it. Church... well, it seems that one the plans of Carolina's father was to try and bring her mother back to life, and one attempt involved a sample from a supernatural pool of energy, which he tested on himself first. The result was Church (this is a bit like all the R'as al Ghul/Jason Todd stuff).

More Batman-tastic shenanigans ensue... meanwhile, over in Metropolis, all the Chorus problems are happening! Instead of a surviving child of Krypton coming to Earth, a ship containing the collective history and technology landed on the planet. In secret, a group has been slowly using the advanced tech for personal gain, and some people are also stealing it for themselves. Two sides of a "war" break out, each being manipulated into fighting because once they're all gone, nothing will stop a certain rich business man from taking everything for himself (Hargrove is basically Lex Luthor. Felix and Locus use lots of Krypton tech, and also have access to the temporary Super Serum that gives them small doses of powers).

Sorry, that was a LOT for a basic "Batman/Superman" AU haha