#it’s always like full grown adults or old ass dudes

[ghostickle]

“ I need cigarettes” I’m going to strangle you

[runawayolives]

Guard dog

"Hell the fuck no." Fez was leaning against the kitchen counter, facing her.

"Fez, you haven't even considered."

"Hell the fuck no."

Ash was sitting at the table, eating cereal while the TV was playing in front of him. A fight between his brother and his girlfriend was as rare as a blue moon. It wasn't even a big fight, just a small discussion with two hard-headed participants.

"Then tell me why not." Y/N was leaning against the fridge, both adults looking at each other, not fully aware of their audience.

"It isn't a good idea."

"Why?" They both turned around when they heard Fye leaving the bathroom, making sure she was okay.

"I don't need to explain myself to you, ma." Y/N pushed her shoulders forward, a small scoff leaving her lips.

"You kinda do." Both Faye and Ash were silently watching, like a tennis match full of tension. Fez turned around, grabbing a cup from the drying rack and filling it with water with the faucet behind him.

"It's going to give us more work than help." Fez didn't stop making eye contact with Y/N.

"How is protection less than just a food and water bowl?" Faye loudly gasped, making Ash roll his eyes.

"Shut the fuck up. You're getting a puppy?" Y/N turned around to look at her, managing to use a gentler tone, considering Faye didn't deserve the brunt of her disappearing patience.

"I think it would be wise to get a guar dog, considering all of the stuff that has been going on lately."

"We've managed just fine, ma. We don't need a dog." Fez took a sip from his glass, taking a step forward to circle his arm around her waist. "Don't use protection as an excuse to get a pet." Y/N rolled her eyes, getting closer to Fez. Physical tough was one of their main ways to show affection. Not always sexual, the majority of the time just gentle touches.

"Think about it. Picture it. Can you consider it, please?" She kissed him on his cheek, then pulled away and grabbed some juice from the fridge.

"Getting a dog would be interesting, Fez." The three adults turned around to look at Ash, who had just been an observer during the conversation.

"Ash, man, not the time to get a dog. It's only gonna be more work, ya know what I mean?" Ash stood up from his chair and leaned on the table.

"I can train the dog so that it can help us if some dude doesn't wanna pay up or somethin'." Fez looked at Y/N with a raised eyebrow.

"You ganna dog to bite junkie's ass'?" She looked at Ash, who gave her a knowing look, telling her to follow his plan.

"For protection, yes. I mean, the Jacob's are after our asses. If we have a scary dog..."

"I'll think about it."

...

Thanks to Y/N convincing Fez mysteriously overnight. Her and Ash, by the afternoon of the next day, were at the dog pound, looking for their soon-to-be guard dog.

"We gonna name it killer."

"No." Ash looked up at the woman as if she had grown to heads.

"Why not? It's gonna be a scary dog." Y/N placed her arm around the preteen's shoulder.

"Don't you think it would be extra cool if we got a scary dog and named them something hyper-feminine?"

"No."

"We can call it Killer for a middle name."

...

Thirty minutes later, Y/N and Ash were inside the house with their new pet, Lady Killer. They had bought the food bowls, bed, and a few leashes.

Lady Killer O'Neill L/N was a gorgeous german shepherd. She was only a year old and a pretty calm pup. She had spent the whole car ride smelling Ash and Y/N, sometimes licking where she could reach. She had let Ash choose the german shepherd for two specific reasons.

Ash thought it would be the easiest dog to train.

Y/N knew Ash wouldn't teach her for longer than a week and then would get a couch buddy.

The house was empty. Fez and Faye had left to work at the store, leaving enough time for the couple to settle Lady Killer in her new home. The moment Lady saw the fluffy bed waiting for her beside the couch, she happily went in and started taking a nap. Ash was too busy setting the food bowls to notice or realize that their new pet would spend all of their time sleeping, eating, and playing. Becoming a ruthless killer wasn't going to be on the agenda for a while.

One Ash noticed that Lady was sleeping, he joined Y/N on the couch to watch some comedy show, until Fez and Faye came back and it was time to make dinner.

...

The door opened, making Lady lift her head from the soft bed. Fezco and Faye walked in, the girl squealing when she saw the puppy.

"She's so cute!" LAdy ran to meet the newcomers, smelling and licking Faye's hands.

"This is not a guard dog." Y/N and Ash shared a look, getting ready to present their case.

"Lady will be a guard dow in no time."

"Lady Killer." Ash looked up at the woman he considered more than a sister and nodded in confirmation, specifying the dog's middle name.

"This dog better be a guard dog in two weeks or somethin'. I'm not falling for this trap." Lady started jumping in front of Fez, trying to get his attention.

Two weeks later, Fez was inseparable from Lady. He would walk her to the store, and if there weren't any customers, he would go outside with her and play tug war with a piece of an old sweater. Whenever they had a movie night, Fez would place Lady on his lap and pet her during the film. Giving her scratches behind her ear.

He always found the perfect excuse to be the one to walk her, even though they had divided the chores evenly between the permanent members of the family.

Lady loved sleeping beside's Ash's bed, considering she wasn't allowed inside Y/N and Fezco's bedroom. They had a strict rule for Lady, she wasn't allowed on the beds, but during the month she had been with them, she and Ash had managed to break that rule a total of sixteen times.

Because Y/N spent her time working from home, Lady had become her cooking buddy. She had spent weeks on the internet looking up foods dogs could and couldn't eat and would sometimes give Lady Killer some of the food she was cooking for dinner or for future lunches.

They all loved Lady, but Y/N and Ash would never miss an occasion to tease Fez about his new best friend, considering he had been the least adamant to get their beloved "Guard dog".

AN: I havent written in ages, so I'm a bit rusty. I hope this little piece about Fez and a dog wasn't too bad, and if anyone wants to send in euphoria requests, feel free to do so.

[cinnamonest]

Lemme just add to the dumbass (lovingly) diluc ask and willing! reader :'))

Just... pls think about this, dumb himbo yan diluc who has the ultimate hots for his momma and he thinks hes sooo smug, being all posessive and protective of his mama, he literally climbs into her bed at night as a grown ass adult bc he claims that 'he can't sleep knowing that you're here out cold and alone mama, i wanna keep you safe :)' yeah yeah, ofc, he want that too but mostly just wants mamas boob under his head or inside his mouth lol

And he thinks he's so discreet and secretive but what he doesn't know is that momma always knows best and just let's her dumb son play the big bad man of the house while he's literslly tripping over his feet to get to mama as quick as he can bless his soul 💀

God anon this is such a big brain thought I-- like of course you know, how could you not? It's cute that he thinks you don't. Of course mama knows all the nasty shit he's done. But he's your sweet handsome boy, he deserves some tiddy y'know?? He also thinks you don't know about all the old men he's driven away bc they're gross old dudes that need to stay away from his mama 😤 she's taken... You just don't know it yet, he thinks. Except you actually do, you know full well.

Also a momson thing for him, he would be so protective of mama but he would overdo everything to exaggerate as much as possible to impress her. Like if mom needs a jar opened?? He will do it with ease, but really exaggerate the motion, as if it was a difficult task that he could do bc he's so strong! And when mama squeals bc there's a bug?? The bug is now a mortal enemy. It will be squashed with vitriol. Any man that talks to you he stands by your side and glares them down. The littlest things like that. It's a complex, he doesn't want you to see him as a kid anymore, no, no he's a big strong man! Hmph.

[n00dl3gal]

Like Old Times (Father-Son Bonding AU)

A direct sequel to the “Expiration Date” fic, which I’ll link in a reblog. I’ve also posted all my fics in this AU to AO3!! Thanks again to @thetriggeredhappy for their help and just generally being a cool dude, and the Scoutsune Discord server for indulging my brainrot

No warnings beyond family schmoop!

Less than an hour after the bread monster incident, the Administrator called for a ceasefire. “Only while your base is repaired,” she said over the TV screen. “BLU is quite disappointed in this negligence- as am I. Regardless, you may use these three days as you see fit. Go home, stay here- whatever you do, no more bread monsters.” The screen turned off with a click. 

Scout exhaled through his nose. He was thankful there was no mention of him or Miss Pauling’s woodchipper. 

Spy decloaked behind him. “Less time than I wanted, but c’est la vie.” Scout looked at him over his shoulder. “I’m meeting with an old contact during our break,” Spy said in Italian. “Would you like to come along? It’ll be like old times.” 

Scout’s brow furrowed, but he nodded. At least this way, he’d get out of helping Engie and Heavy with repairs. And possibly meeting Miss Pauling’s woodchipper. 

“Excellent. Our flight is at 7 AM tomorrow.” 

“We’re flying commercial?” Scout asked, also in (more hesitant) Italian. 

“Our destination is continental. We’ll leave the base by 5:30.” Scout groaned as Spy started to leave. But- wait, he hadn’t- 

“Oi, where are we going, anyway?” he called back in English. 

Spy paused to look at him and smile. “Boston.” 

“Why do we always get the ass-crack-of-dawn flights?” Jeremy asked groggily, reclining his seat.

“They are the ones with first-class seats available,” Raphael replied. He took a sip from his mimosa. 

“Yeah, cuz God forbid you fly coach for once.” Jeremy shifted, trying to get comfortable. “Hey. Have I ever been to Boston before?”

Raphael didn’t answer immediately. His lip sucked in, as if in thought. “Yes. When you were very, very young. You wouldn’t remember.” 

Jeremy nodded. He wanted to ask more, there was something Raphael wasn’t saying but… well, he was never a morning person. He fell asleep before the plane even took off. 

. . .

It was mid-afternoon by the time they landed in Boston. Jeremy was never fond of long flights; having his legs cramped like that for extended periods of time was murder. He was half tempted to take a jog around Logan International. Raphael, on the other hand, was ushering them both to the car rental. “Can’t even get a stretch in, huh?”

“Unfortunately, we are expected by 4, and I would hate to keep my contact waiting,” Raphael explained in French, accepting the keys from the girl at the counter. “She’s not a very patient woman, in some regards.” 

Jeremy huffed but didn’t argue. He just followed his father to the rental, tossing his suitcase in the backseat. “Y’know, the girl at the counter-” 

“We will not have time for you to go out on a date, Jeremy.” 

“No! No, it was- her accent’s kinda like mine, it’s weird,” Jeremy said. Raphael started the car. “Cuz I’ve only been here as a baby, and I got mine from TV and shit. It’s just… really strange, is all.” 

Raphael made a quiet noise of agreement. “Some of the shows you watched as a child were filmed here. It’s not as complex as you think it is.” 

“Yeah, probably not…” 

The pair lapsed into silence as Raphael drove. Storefronts and high rises morphed into houses. It had been a while since they were in a residential area. RED, for understandable reasons, kept away from civilians. 

Raphael took the roads with practiced experience. Sure, it had been implied he knew the area. If he had a contact here- one with a house, presumably- he must’ve spent time here. But this- this was far too familiar. A bit suspicious, actually. 

Eventually, Raphael slowed in front of a more rundown Brownstone. Still quite nice, just needed a little work. It felt… welcoming, in a way Jeremy couldn’t name.

“Lotta cars,” he observed as Raphael parallel parked. “Must be a party going on somewhere.” 

“Hmm, perhaps,” Raphael said, turning the car off. “Would you mind ringing the doorbell for me? I need to grab something from the trunk. Ask for Sara Jane.” 

OK, now Jeremy knew something was up. He was never the one to make the first contact, that was always Dad’s job. Jeremy might be a full-grown adult, but there were some things that didn’t change. This was one of them. 

Still, he nodded. He climbed up the front steps and ringed the doorbell. He heard- multiple voices from inside, predominantly male, but they quickly silenced themselves. A TV, perhaps? They really ought to get that flower box on the second story window fixed- 

The woman who opened the door was a bit shorter than him, though not by much. She was wearing a simple dress, hoop earrings, and flats. Her hair was dark, curved to her chin. But her nose and earlobes felt… achingly familiar. Like Jeremy saw them all the time. 

“Um, hi, I’m looking for Sara Jane? My name’s-” The rest of his speech was knocked out of him as the woman launched herself at him. Jeremy braced for an attack, but quickly realized she was… hugging him. 

She was hugging him, sobbing, and choked out the word “Jeremy.” 

Wait. He knew that voice. He had only heard it a few times in his life, few enough he could count them on one hand, but he knew it. “M-Ma?” he whispered. 

The woman- Sara Jane- Ma looked up at him, still crying. Her hands found his face as she observed him. “Y-yeah, sweetie, it’s me, it’s-it’s your ma,” she said. 

“Ma!” he laughed, tears of his own dancing down his cheeks. He hugged her back, practically lifting her off her feet. “Oh my God, Ma! I-I never thought I’d-” 

“Oh Jeremy, sweetie, look how tall you’ve gotten! Last I saw you, you fit in my arms! My baby, my handsome baby,” she spoke over him. She rubbed circles into his back as they embraced. It felt so, so right. 

Jeremy laughed even harder. “Are you kiddin’? I got it from you, you’re beautiful, Ma!” He stared at her, trying to commit every mole and wrinkle and perfect flaw to memory. “I can’t believe- oh my God, I’m actually meeting you!” 

“It was long overdue,” another voice said, as Raphael joined them on the front stoop. “I had put it off for safety reasons, but considering our current, ah, situation… I felt it was worth the risk.” 

Sara Jane squealed, pulling Raphael into the hug as well. “You’ve been taking good care of my boy, you promise me, Raphael?” 

“Don’t worry Ma, he’s the best dad I could ask for, considering,” Jeremy teased. 

“Oh, don’t I know it. Called me up last night and told me to get the whole motley crew together. Even managed to get Melvin to bring his twin daughters, bless his wife’s heart,” she explained. 

Jeremy blinked. “Uh- Melvin? Daughters?”

Sara Jane laughed. It sounded so much like Jeremy’s it practically hurt. This was his mother. Lord, he’s finally seeing her. “Melvin’s your older brother, sweetie. Eh, sixth oldest. Bobby’s the oldest.” 

“I have a brother?”

“Oh honey, you’re the youngest of eight,” Sara Jane said plainly. 

“...fuck,” Jeremy whispered. 

. . .

He didn’t just have seven brothers. He had seven brothers, four of which brought their wives, one who brought his boyfriend, and three who brought their kids. And the kids totaled to an additional six, counting the babies. 

It was… an admittedly tight squeeze in the living room. 

Sara Jane introduced Jeremy. Jeremy had been expecting to be treated like a stranger. He had vanished when he was a baby, after all, and his younger-older brothers probably wouldn’t remember him at all. 

And yet, it was like he knew them all his life. 

They teased him and punched him playfully and acted so friendly, so familial it nearly made Jeremy break down. He was still crying from meeting Ma, but being dogpiled with so much affection was suffocating. In a good way. He had seen on sitcoms the intrinsic bond between family, and while he felt it with Dad, they also risked their lives nearly daily. But it was real, it was here, and it was wrapping him in a warm blanket. 

Despite the chaos and the sheer number of people, Jeremy didn’t feel overwhelmed. He laughed and played along with their jokes, cracking some back when he could get a word in. Scott ragged on his dog tags, he countered by pointing out the hole in his pants. Michael told him he was still a shortass, he replied with “it takes one to know one.” Elliot and Ricky were the closest to actually getting hurt, and that was only because Jeremy elbowed them both so hard they nearly fell over. 

For the first time in 25 years, Jeremy understood what “home” meant. 

The kids were especially curious, eager to meet their uncle and step-grandfather. Within seconds, young Rebecca- only four years old- was challenging Jeremy to a race around the house. “I’m the fastest kid in the world,” she bragged, puffing out her chest. 

“Oh yeah?” Jeremy asked. “That a fact?”

“You wanna test me? I beat Johnny Three-Legs at running, and he’s got three legs!” Jeremy laughed and stood from the couch, letting her lead him outside. “On the count of three, OK?”

“You’re on, pipsqueak,” Jeremy teased.

“Onetwothree GO!” Rebecca yelled, taking off in a sprint. Jeremy knew that, by all accounts, he should beat her. His legs were longer, she didn’t have the proper running stance, and it was his job to be fast. That’s what he got paid to do. But some small voice was telling him to let her win, so he did. “Ha! I told ya!” 

“Ya sure did,” he replied, mock panting. “Look at you, a freaking blur on the green. You’re goin’ to the Olympics, kid.” 

Rebecca beamed and hugged his leg. “Promise, Uncle Jeremy?” He nodded because, after that display, there was no way he could speak without squeaking like a chew toy. 

Rebecca skipped back inside, past Raphael, who was watching on the stoop. “You’re a natural with children,” he observed. “I used to do the same thing when you were that age.” 

“Wait- wait, really? You sure fooled me,” Jeremy said. 

Raphael rolled his eyes. “What’s my job again, mon lapin?”

“Yeah, yeah…” Jeremy leaned against the railing, watching Raphael’s cigarette smoke in the wind. “Hey. Uh… thanks for arranging all of this. You really didn’t need to.”

“But I did. I meant it when I said this was overdue. I’ve been wanting to introduce you to the rest of the family for a while, but have been unable. Then that whole ordeal with the supposed tumors, and-” Raphael exhaled slowly. “It wouldn’t have been fair to you if you died without knowing them. I would’ve never forgiven myself.” 

Jeremy punched his shoulder lightly. “Don’t be so hard on yourself, pops. It all worked out, we’re still kicking, and that roast chicken Ma’s making smells incredible. Everything’s perfect.” 

Raphael finished his cigarette and smiled. “Oui. It is.” 

. . .

While Sara Jane had been able to get the rest of the family here, it was a school night. Kids needed to be tucked in by 9:30, so most of Jeremy’s brothers were gone by 8. Elliot was staying overnight, as was his boyfriend. Otherwise, the house quickly went from bustling to barren. 

It gave Jeremy a chance to explore his would-be childhood home.

He made his way upstairs, pushing open one of the doors. It led- to little surprise- to a bedroom. It was set up like a nursery, with a crib in one corner and a toddler bed in the other. Toys were scattered about across the floor. 

He heard Sara Jane sigh behind him. “This was your room, you know.” Jeremy turned to look at her as she flipped the light switch. “That crib… I had put you to bed the night your father planned to fake his death. I was in on the whole plan, naturally. He wanted to hold you one last time, so I said OK. When I woke up the next morning… you were both gone.” She exhaled slowly, grabbing onto his shoulder. “I wrote both of you off as dead, but I knew what had happened. Honestly, should’ve figured it out before then. You hadn’t woken me up crying,” she joked. Her eyes were watering. 

Jeremy hugged her, pulling her close. “You never took the crib down?” 

“By the time I was ready, Bobby’s wife was pregnant, so I kept it up for my grandbabies. I knew- I knew you were out there, sweetie. Both of you.” She kissed his cheek, squeezing him.

“I-I never got to be a normal kid, really,” he confessed. “I mean, Dad did his best, gave me comic books and board games and stuff, but-but I never went to school or made friends or anything like that. I-I didn’t even know I had a family. It took me forever to even realize I had a Ma. An-and everything I did-” The tears were flowing again, more freely than earlier. “Ya missed me losing my first tooth, and potty trainin’, and all that stuff parents should know about. I-I’m sorry,” he whispered. 

Sara Jane wiped his cheek dry. “Don’t apologize for what your father did, Jeremy. And definitely don’t apologize for me not potty training another kid. Besides… hold on, I’ll be right back.” She made her way down the hallway. Jeremy didn’t follow, instead deciding to examine the crib. This was where he grew up. It was a simple crib, obviously well-used. Not worn-down, mind, just… used. It had a history. A history that Jeremy wanted to decode, but unlike his dad’s ciphers, he didn’t have the key. 

“Took me a second to find it,” Sara Jane said. She handed him what appeared to be a scrapbook. “Raphael- he wrote when he can. Taught me some basic codes, would send out letters whenever you’d leave a town. Never left a return address, but…” Jeremy flipped through the pages, moving to sit on the small bed. The letters were all coded but appeared to be about how much Raphael missed Sara Jane. Updates on Jeremy’s growth. Letters from a father to his lover and son’s mother. 

One page jumped out to him, though. “I remember this,” he said, running his fingers against the paper. It was a simple drawing of a young boy, holding a catcher’s mitt, and a taller man next to him. “I drew this after Dad took me to my first baseball game, for my eighth birthday. I thought I lost the drawing after we skipped town, but- he sent them to you?”

Sara Jane nodded. “And I kept them all. Oh, honey, the day I first heard your voice on the phone- Mikey can tell you, I damn near fell over. You sounded so happy, and even if I couldn’t see you, that’s all a mother wants.” Jeremy leaned against her and she shut the book. “That’s all a mother wants, sweetie. To see her kids be safe and happy.” 

“I am, Ma,” he assured her. “I promise.” 

They sat like that for a while, with Sara Jane commenting on various letters and drawings in the scrapbook. Apparently, Raphael sent her money when he could- more frequently now that Mann Co. paid so well. She also had a rough idea of their current occupations. “I figure, if you and your father are working for the same company- with his skills, there’s gotta be a whole lot of nonsense going on out in that desert.” Jeremy laughed at that because she wasn’t wrong. “But I also figure since he raised you right, he’ll keep the both of you safe.” 

“I keep him safe too, don’t worry,” Jeremy added. “Uh- listen, it’s touching and all you kept the crib, but I don’t have to sleep in it, right?” 

They both had a good chuckle over that. Their laughs were in perfect harmony. 

. . .

The next two days were a mix of learning the family history and exploring Boston. It was the offseason, so there weren’t any games going on at Fenway, but Jeremy still got a picture in front of the park. Sara Jane took the pair to a restaurant that served “the best damn clam chowder in the contiguous United States.” Which, incidentally, led them to discover Jeremy was allergic to clams. Thankfully they didn’t have to go to the hospital- he just sort of immediately got sick before it passed- but it did suck.

It was damn good chowder, though. 

They went down to the harbor where the Boston Tea Party happened. It was crowded with people, resulting in them not staying long. Jeremy was a bit better with crowds than Raphael, but neither was great with them. Came with the job. Getting overpriced memorabilia from a nearby gift shop, though, went over much more smoothly. 

When not out on the town, Sara Jane dug out more scrapbooks and photo albums, catching Raphael up on what his stepsons had been up to. She showed Jeremy pictures from Ricky’s first school play to Scott opening up his butcher shop. Graduation pictures, wedding pictures, baby pictures- it was all there, and Jeremy devoured it. He wanted to know these people. He wanted to know his family. And he did. He learned about Michael’s stint in the Navy, Melvin meeting his wife, how Bobby’s son could dribble a basketball for twenty minutes straight. He learned about how his parents met. How Raphael loved each of Sara Jane’s children, even if they weren’t biologically his. How Jeremy wasn’t planned- few of the kids were - but they were both so, so happy to realize he was coming. 

He also learned that, while diner food would remain the undisputed king, homemade meatloaf came pretty close. 

. . .

The only problem came when it was time to leave. It wasn’t that Jeremy didn’t want to return to work, or leave his Ma behind. Sara Jane wasn’t even torn up over losing her son and lover again. It just felt like there was so much left to say, to do. There was uncertainty as to when they’d be able to return. “We get time off for Smissmas, I know that’s months away but I’ll be here, I promise,” Jeremy swore, hugging Sara Jane for the eighth time. 

“You better,” she said, squeezing him tightly. “You have 25 years worth of gifts to catch up on, not to mention birthday gifts-”

“Ma, you don’t have to go that far,” he whined. He was touched, sure, but the thought of that much luggage was truly frightening. Oh God, he was going to have to get gifts for everybody, wasn’t he? What do kids even want for Smissmas? 

“Hush, let me spoil my baby,” Sara Jane told him, kissing his cheek. “Oh, Jeremy…” 

Jeremy nodded. “I know, but I’ll call. I’ll write, too. Send pictures if I can.” 

“I’ll make sure he does,” Raphael assured her. Sara Jane stood to kiss his lips, with Jeremy looking away pointedly. “You have my word, ma petite chou-fleur.” 

“Alright, alright- now get going, I don’t want you two missing your flight. That boss of yours sounds like she’ll tear you both a new one if you’re late,” Sara Jane said, shooing them away. “Love you boys!” 

“I love you too, Ma!” Jeremy shouted back, for the very first time. 

The drive back to the airport was quiet. Jeremy stared out the window, watching his hometown- he had a hometown- pass by. “Hey, dad?” he asked, still looking outside. Raphael grunted to acknowledge he was listening. “One of these days, our contracts with Mann Co. are gonna expire. We’re gonna have to find new jobs.” 

“Yes, that’s correct,” Raphael said. He tapped a rhythm against the steering wheel. 

“And-and I was thinking when that time comes… maybe we could come back to Boston. Find some gigs out here,” Jeremy suggested. 

Raphael sighed. “Unfortunately, being a spy means that you don’t have the option of retiring, Jeremy. Not until you’re unable to complete your job. At that point, though, you’ve probably died a dozen times over,” he explained. “Even if I could retire, settling down somewhere so close to people I care about- I would still have enemies.” 

“Right. ‘Course,” Jeremy said. “It’s OK.” 

“That being said,” Raphael continued, “you have the luxury of youth and not being tied down to such a career. If you want to find a job in Boston after we finish with RED, there’s nothing stopping you.” 

“But people will still be after me, since I’m your son. And you wouldn’t be around.”

“Every child leaves their parents someday. And you’re strong, Jeremy. You can protect yourself and your family.” Raphael smiled. “I don’t believe Sara Jane needs much protecting, but I do worry.” 

Jeremy laughed. “I mean, did ya see the muscles on Scott and Michael? Guys can probably bench press a tractor!” 

They both chuckled before settling into quietude. Eventually, though, Jeremy had to break the silence. His voice was barely above a whisper. “I love you.” 

“I love you too, mon lapin.”

“...so your nickname for Ma is fucking ‘little cauliflower?’ What the hell, Dad?” 

[soul-dwelling]

...I finally looked over the last Tamaki chapters.

I would hope I would never have to respond to his misogynistic bullshit ever again.

I can't read Ohkubo's stuff without thinking Maka and Crona turned out as they did by accident, not out of his good intentions. His handling of gender in Fire Force has been a step down, as disappointing as seeing a lot of men, previously celebrated for their contributions to feminism and gender portrayals, just showing their worst flaws (Whedon--as well as Whedon's own personal stuff).

This dude Ohkubo can philosophize about a thousand things, yet he refuses to see that what is considered "attractive" is subjective. It's not "hard work" alone--someone can spend all the time they want trying to look appealing to someone else, and it may never work.

And Tamaki wasn't trying to get an appearance to get dates (if at all: she was interested in Rekka initially and maybe showed some interest in Shinra, but we never saw her fixating on her appearance to get with anyone). She was dressed like that because of cultural expectations for her job (nun) or pragmatism (firefighting, using her flame abilities). Her appearance was out of working out to keep up with the job; whether someone thought her physique was attractive was a byproduct, again, out of the observer's own desires.

And really, fuck Ohkubo doing the "older people are unattractive compared to young people"--TAMAKI WAS 17 WHEN THIS SERIES STARTED, AND HER DESIGN HAS NOT CHANGED WITH AGING, WHAT THE FUCK. Hell, Assault is almost twice her age--that's even worse that this grown-ass man was perving on a 17-year-old.

With this obsession by Ohkubo about young people, no wonder there's hardly any adults in his works who have obvious sexual or romantic desires, or healthy sexual desires: it's all weirdly "will they or won't they" crap (Marie and Stein, only confirmed sort of by making her pregnant--because, as I'll say below, he can only think of sex as vitality in terms of procreation) or full-on Spirit Albarn horndog behavior, there is no gray area, just these two binaries.

And in the former category, in terms of someone's sexual desires not being out in the open and obvious, it's not even like he treats being asexual/ace as positive. Who the fuck would ever write that sex should be celebrated because it represents vitality and procreation? Sex isn't just a sign of vitality, and most certainly not only for procreation: sex is whatever consenting adults who enjoy sex want it to be, and this writing just reflects how dumb his pseudo-intellectual philosophizing elsewhere in this manga's conclusion was--the same person who can't write an intellect debate as to the merits of despair and salvation also can't think of sex but as something he defines in narrow terms. He's as bad as Shinra and Haumea are at debating issues in terms of binaries instead of nuanced debates that are always going to have many competing, diametrically opposed, but valid conclusion. Things often aren't as simple as black and white, and it is so immature that he can only reduce a topic like sex to Tamaki and Assault versus Fake!Assault and random Karen.

(The story can't even be bothered at the end to keep her name present, so if Ohkubo doesn't give a crap enough to keep her name going, why shouldn't I just reduce her down to "Karen" as the name? Also, if Karen was just a background character serving a role to his story, why didn't all the other characters disappear when their roles were done? Once again, the lack of consistency in this story is irksome: there are so many holes in what he thinks is some profound argument.)

Tamaki even says she didn't want to strip down like this: she hasn't had a say in what she does or doesn't do. This isn't empowering for her--she just did it again as a reaction to what other people think of her, limiting what should be a moment of her having agency and deciding that doing so will make this fight go more easily.

And it's hilarious for this author to pick up then drop the dumb fourth-wall crap, having the angry Karen disappear because she's just an "extra" (great job sounding like red-pill rightwing assholes screaming about NPCs, Ohkubo--or sounding like Bakugo), when he's the one puppeteering Tamaki for just fanservice.

The other post about how masturbatory Ohkubo's writing has gotten when it comes to sex will come later. But man, if he's going to write about sexual puritanicalism, it'd be great if he wasn't such a puritan himself, reducing sex down to procreation and this weird bemoaning about the need for sex to keep the human race going--he sounds like every asshole screaming about declining birth rates instead of recognizing that maybe economic factors, personal desires, or the greater acceptance about the facts that gender is more diverse than we thought and some people don't want sex or children are all why birth rates are decreasing.

*sigh* I really hope I just get back to re-blogging Soul Eater stuff, but Fire Force has killed (insert Death Child gag here) any enjoyment I'm getting out of it. I cringe at this crap getting animated by David Pro. I am scared the Fire Force anime will end, then after the credits of the final episode we hear the Soul Eater OST and that studio is announced as making an anime reboot--coasting on what BONES and others already did, doing an adaptation more faithful to the original manga, including all the Chapter 113 crap, because heaven forbid you not put your weird sexual mores into your own work and just let what was good enough (the first Soul Eater anime) stand on its own. I firmly do not want a reboot, at least not one by Ohkubo and not one that is going to do this crap.

[smiledog15578]

Before I sleep I just wanted to post these since I feel like to understand the situation better

First image: shitty as it sounds this thing he took from one of my posts was from blue shaded. Some dude who just loves to complain about everything any youtuber does like youtubers are supposed to be saints it’s just weird. Anyways ~ I’ve said this before but Ty was blocked during this time so obviously he was stalking and he KNEW it was him cause I knew he was talking shit. However I didn’t say his name so him getting butthurt really says something that he thought it was about him (and it was! But if I didn’t wanna say his name cause 1. I respected his privacy at the time and 2. I knew he would do this ☠️

Second image: I knew exactly what the fuck he was talking about. I say this because me and a friend saw him talking about it WITH HIS NAME HANDLE ON IT so you kinda fucked your self over with this one FR. If you want to see what he said it’s on one of @chatterghosts ‘s post I reblogged it so it’s probably below this one. I also find it funny that he thought I got it from Nate and Nate (why y’all named the same that’s so funny omg SORRY OFF TRACK) when I did but also like- blue shaded isn’t a private account you can see that shit in plain sight👁👁 hello. Also of course Nate knows the full story cause he told me AFTER you had this conversation and he told me everything but anyways 🎊

Third image: that’s probably a load of bs cause after you talked shit about Ethan you talked shit about jack. Not only that you FEED on this behavior. When I was in the discord you always talked shit about jack and nit picked over the smallest faults he’s made. You being associated with blue even ONCE tells me that you are attracted to these people (not romantically obviously but you get my point). Then we go onnn about me leaving the discord. Like I had the choice to tell you? I knew you’d talk shit about me if I told you why I left and if I lied you’d find out so I did the right thing and just left for good. I blocked ty on almost every platform I knew of and ghosted that mf (like I stated earlier, he found my only account I forgot to block him because I blocked him on the rest of my accounts🤡 I’ve met too many people who will do everything to find my other accounts just so they can have their say instead of just idk... maybe leaving that person alone?). A lot of my friends told me to leave ty with a LOT of evidence and personal experiences so this wasn’t just something I did on a whim. I took the courage to do it and I’m glad I did.

Fourth image: ANOTHER BS THING. I know damn well you simped for Mark so obviously you stood up to him the most. When I was being harrassed for liking Mark and how he’s a neo Nazi (? I still think that’s utter bullshit and also what’s up with mfs assuming every German last named mf is a Nazi like dude he’s a minority why would he be a Nazi- anyways) ty was saying so much stuff about how marks a good guy and while I do agree ty kept doing this a lot. Mark was his jesus to his crazy Christian after all. He babied Mark in a weird way like I get it I get that way too but I know that Mark is a grown ass man and he has to defend himself I’m not his momma and I’m not going to be a pokimane simp to him. In one of his rants about Ethan he said that Ethan was mooching off of unus annus like HELLO?? Ethan was apart of unus annus he should be proud of it? Plus it’s not like Mark hasn’t done the same thing and of course ty hasn’t said anything about Mark cause again Mark is a saint to him so not surprising. Ethan HARDLY gets credit for being apart if unus annus so I’m glad he gets to gloat about it because bruh if I did something like that I’d be promoting it and milking it it’s YouTube what do you expect- I feel like most people in this fandom treats Ethan as Mark’s sidekick like idk he didn’t also did as much as Mark? And I don’t even WATCH Ethan as much as Mark and I think this mf deserves more credit. The Markiplier has this weird double standard between youtubers idk I just find it odd as hell. Like the time pokimane came onto cloak and everyone calling her a slut? And whore? Like bruh I hate her but come on how low can you fuckin go. THERES a lot of bs in this fandom I could talk about after being in it for 6 years but that’s for another time❤️. the way ty says “I’m sorry what I said about Ethan made YOU upset” just sounds like “I’m sorry what I said made you feel that way :/“. It’s like what he said he doesn’t even recognize was wrong and doesn’t even care that what of he might of said was insensitive and just plain not in his lane to say that shit.

Fifth image: um what 😀 I was already out of the discord so do it yourself? Like yea lemme just ask to come back in and delete them🏃‍♂️- like no fuck you maybe you shouldn’t have treated people like shit I would of but no that’s your problem now. Also bruh my BLOG? I’ve never posted shit that I’ve had from the discord (aka discord screenshots) unless I forgot but from the looks of it he’s probably implying to delete my art from my blog😀. No bitch this is my blog you damn dictator I’ll delete something when I want to you’re not my parents. Also I hate this parenting attitude he has about how I have to do it 😐. Bruh you are a 20 year old man who likes Markiplier from the Internet I don’t gotta do shit HFHFJBJBJ. My final wish was to leave you loser for good but I see sore losers don’t like to see their teammates leave for their shitty behavior lolz.

TLDR: bitches ain’t SHIT this dude has serious abandonment issues over at the time 16 year old who doesn’t even know them irl

I’d like to say I didn’t bring up the actual things people who’ve talked to me about their personal experiences cause that’s for them to speak up about and that’s their private information. I’m only talking about my experience with this creep. Like I stated before I’m sick of this dude on my dick and bring up old fights that should of been resolved like a real mature adult but I guess a 17 year old has to finish this shit and many others.

I would go on more about the Ethan situation but you’ve heard me yak a whole essay of bs so I’ll leave that on hold (unless you wanna talk about it hmu 😏) idk if I should put this in the Markiplier tag cause this isn’t really a Big M problem but more of the cesspool of the fandom problem but I just want y’all Markiplier fans to watch out for this dude and I mean it PLEASE

[blackfemmecharacterdependency]

BFCD Reviews by Nesha: Final Space, Season 3

Everybody that know me know that I’m high class #Quillective trash and my main thoughts and feelings go out to Quinn Ergon and Gary Goodspeed - precious Gemini gems, and of course the BABIES: Little Cato, Ash and Fox #NeshaLuhDaKids I had some attachment to Avocato once upon a time, but that n***a got on my LAST nerves this season, so we currently at “Do you, Boo” status by the end of S3, and eventually, yes, I’ma get to why that is. 

Disclaimer for somebody who stumbled across this post because of the fandom tags - I am an independent partaker of this content, not “part of the fandom,” and my audience in particular is NOT for everybody. SO: If you may have been criticized in the past for casual racism, tone deafness to Black women’s concerns or accused of misogynoir or antiblackness, leave now. 

If you don’t like cussing, AAVE, general ratchetness and mean lesbian energy, you too might wanna go. A bitch can be eloquent, but I type like I talk, at times, so it is what it is and I don’t curate for kids, dudes, or nonblacks. That’s just what that is.

I wanna start with Ash Graven. This season is about Ash more than anybody else, despite the fact that there was a lot of emphasis on Avocato’s toxic ass man pain and growth in Quinn and Gary’s relationship, ULTIMATELY, nobody in the crew did more coming into fruition as Ash did, and I have a lot to say about her, because I have a lot of feelings.

♡ Ash Graven

1. Ash is a kid. Lol. Everybody got very confused because of the unnecessary transformation that Invictus gave her. Ash did not “grow up,” her body was altered. That’s a fuckin kid in a woman’s body. A kid who has previously been living with survivor’s guilt, parental abuse/neglect/exploitation, chronic trauma, and a disastrous superpower that most people could not be trusted to carry. She’s a child having a coming of age moment in this season that is mostly molded in manipulation. If you hate on Ash, go fuck yourself. ESPECIALLY if I’ve caught you stanning other characters who have been shit characters, in this fandom or not. Ash was dealt a shit hand and nobody had her back but her brothers, and she’s done what she could and thought was best to care for them. Anybody that missed that - just don’t have kids, K.

2. Ash has no parental guidance. As far as she knows, the only adults who have ever had her back are dead and the ones that she’s stuck with now, she GAVE a chance to try to trust them. She gave Quinn a chance to try to see some of Nightfall (the only adult that we’ve seen not exploit her) in her. She gave Gary a chance by choosing him over Clarence, when she had to make a choice. She even gave Clarence’s ass another chance - with which he responded by dying to not fail her. Now, she has Gary, who just a few days or weeks ago, idek, forced her to try to summon her powers while she was both injured and also upset over having to leave her brother behind - TO SAVE HIS GIRLFRIEND! And she got snatched away in the process and left behind with the enemy, to be mentally assaulted and returned changed, only to have them not trust her.

I love Quinn too. I love her dearly. But the facts were that she was dying and having an episode that nobody could really help with, and Gary didn’t take the time or consideration to think about the stress that he was putting on Ash by putting her in the position to make her feel like she needed to save Quinn for him. Whether or not she was the only one who could, that is a lot to put on a child, and not only did he do it, but he didn’t even seem to think that hard about it whenever he then left her ass. Sure, he was glad when she was returned, but that was a fucked up situation that yet another adult put her into, and the first thing that he should have wanted to do when seeing her was to apologize and try to make it right. It was a huge miscalculation to treat her as a potential enemy that he and Avocato needed to vet. EVEN IF that’s what she was to them, both of them should have had the sense to assess while still treating her as the kid that they supposedly knew.

3. Most of her trauma has been recent and continuous. She looked up to Nightfall, watched her die, and had a meltdown. The events from Season 2 (with Clarence almost killing Fox and leaving him to die, her leaving his side to help out, seeing that Sheryl was treacherous to her own son, losing Nightfall), and the events that are taking place in Season 3 are only in the span of a few months.

They were only stranded for a month whenever we see them surviving together. That girl has had more happen to her to hurt her than to help her and nobody around her BUT Little Cato has been sensitive to that. And they are all fucking adults.

These things being noted - changing Ash’s design was the absolute worse fucking thing. Aging a girl up to make the bad things that follow more palatable is what that seems to be. Ash is still a kid. And THEN, they allegedly made her a queer kid. I say allegedly, because that “reveal” was so poorly done and subtle and weak that I, an almost 40 year old queer, didn’t realize that that’s what they meant whenever they said that they were gonna reveal somebody as a character who is part of the LGBT community.

So... FS production just gon’ decide not only to transform her body into that of a woman, when her mind is still full on traumatized child and hormonal teenager, but also, she likes girls, and they didn’t even do it in a cohesive way that added to the story. They threw it in, like, “BTW, she likes girls, and also, she’s full grown now.” then immediately went for the “Villain” lever, and bitches just ate that shit up. Fuck y’all, forreal. 

& Fox

He didn’t deserve that shit. And, I know a lot of people felt that he was pointless and boring, but his ass was sweet and caring and searching for love and acceptance. As a background character, I liked him. But, he was literally just fodder for Ash’s downfall, which was unfair and problematic, considering that his ass is definitely Black coded. Don’t play. He was voiced by a Black man, spoke with a blaccent, and definitely would be read as Black if you wasn’t looking at him and seeing an alien. They gave him a sacrificial negro trope, the big friendly negro that can kill you but loves everybody trope, and they used his death to just push some narrative forward to set up the one verified queer character as a villain. They got they ass in a vehicle and rolled right over another Black character, and another queer character. Chile...

 ♡ Little Cato!!!

My precious have not been getting some good for too long, and I have had it. He’s not focused on so much this season as he is in the background of other people’s stories, but a very important takeaway is and will always be that Little Cato, aside from Fox, really was the only one here who consistently treated her like she mattered, so it made a lot of sense that he could be the catalyst for her finally having ENOUGH with these people.

I really wish that he could have found out the truth about his past from Avocato, because that’s really who OWED him that truth, but Ash did the thing that I’d expect and told him, to be honest with him. She even told him that Avocato wanted to tell him and that she took that right away from him, because she didn’t believe he deserved it, and I’m respecting her for that, too. I wish she could see how much it hurt Little Cato for her to try to take him away from his home. 

Little Cato has lived before, for a while, and he’s not mature enough to behave as a man, but he at least has a loving foundation to draw from, and having had that support, this is more of his home than it is Ash’s. He doesn’t know how to explain that to her, and she doesn’t know how to understand that for him. Just a tragic situation for two kids with a lot of problems.

♡ Quinn Ergon & Gary Goodspeed

Quinnary notes that might not be featured in the BFCD Reviews by Nesha:  (Quinn Ergon/Nightfall x Gary Goodspeed) rundown - 

I've had two favorite parts of this season so far and they're very mediocre things that you wouldn't think would be like my favorite part but they are. One of them was that the first thing Gary does when she wakes up is to ask her about her sister (someone obviously very important to her who he's previously promised to allow to let live through Quinn's memory and says he wants to hear about her when he's trying to keep Quinn from dying). Because... He really did care and wasn't just saying something to keep her.

Quinn's mother fucked her up in a way that is so frustrating because Black mamas really will traumatize you about their younger kids. That shit hurt. You showed your daughter dead bodies to make her think about that in the event that your other daughter might be in battle? Bitch wtf

Whenever we say that Black girls are programmed to put everybody ahead of us, that's unfortunately not just including Society, it's in households too. And Quinn comes from this place where that is her reality... Then she meets Gary and he doesn't even register for her as anything special. He doesn't appear impressive or incredible in any way... But he (admittedly) weirdly locks on to her and shares himself - thinking that he's showing himself to her, and ultimately he DOES. And he wants to see her too, beyond all this, who she is, at her most humane. He wants to know about her sister. About someone who mattered to her enough to have the helm of her trauma when she was out of touch with reality. Very soft. Very sweet.

The other was when they were talking about how they met and stuff and Gary absolutely cringed thinking about how corny he was when he approached this woman. A lot of dudes never do that. The complaint of earlier seasons that Gary was overbearing, obsessive and creepy , if you missed the fact that he has terrible abandonment issues from his father’s death and his mother’s rejection, here we have him, in his adult state, looking back at the way he was and being embarrassed about it, and that’s growth!

A close third is whenever at the beginning of the Season he says "Quinn it's been a month eventually you have to open up to me about what you've been through" and she says "I will in time" and he respects it but he reiterates that he's there whenever she needs him. I don't think that people realize how revolutionary that kind of statement is especially for a character like Quinn to hear - who has always felt like she had to take charge, had to take the lead, had to make the sacrifice.

Even when she realized that she was dying, she didn't want to burden him with the information. Not even like ‘a thing that she knew if that could help prevent it and she didn't want him to have to go after it,’ but... she didn't even want him to have to deal with knowing about it!

Maybe she thought that she would just drop, maybe she didn't realize that he was going to have to see her in that condition. And then once she realized that he was going to have to see her in that condition one of the first things she says is "I should have told you." Girl is on her deathbed wishing she had done it differently, for Gary's benefit.

I saw somebody on Twitter tried to come for her about not going to Gary after he killed Fox (you know, shortly after her surgery to save her from the very brink of death, and listen... Quinn comes to see about Gary when she can. She’s done it several times. In fact, I’ma make a whole POST about Quinn and Gary moments SPECIFICALLY to point out to haters in the main tag - where they got Quinn Ergon, and by extension, me, FUCKED UP.

Stop Playing in Quinn Face

HI! HELLO. ACTUALLY MY FAVORITE PART OF THIS SEASON IS THAT QUINN AND GARY JUST FUCKED. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. THANKS. OK. Back 2 bidness

See.. after Gary and Quinn got over the humps of Quinn’s Final Space poisoning... everyone got it... nobody told her until Avocato was mad and told her during a lash out, and let me say something about Avocato’s fucking audacity this season... 

♡ Avocato (Note: His name is A-V-O-C-A-T-O. Some of y’all be tryna stan and y’all can’t even spell his name.)

I done seent Avacata, Avocata... That’s not that dude name. Be writing whole ass expositions about some other Ventrexian n*gga. Hope this helps:

AVOCATO. Listen, boy. YOU decided to be a traitor to your people and your king and queen. YOU decided to dedicate your cause to the Lord Commander and lied to your son his entire life about killing his parents, raising him, and never talking to him about it.

Yet and STILL - whenever you had the chance to finally tell him, you ain’t do the shit. Lord Commander gave you the perfect ass opportunity - WHEN IT CAME UP, and even then, with that boy looking you dead in the face and being glad that now he knows everything... you ain’t Ventrexian man up.

Then, whenever you were supposed to be checking on Gary after his traumatic murder fight with Fox and Invictus, you turned it around and literally made it about you. attacking him in the process and only after a physical fight did you apologize. (And y’all still didn’t get back to what had happened to Gary, which was no real fault of his own). 

Fast forward to after you willingly agreed to stay behind and fight and y’all lost. Now, it was Quinn’s turn to be the center of your blame and you lashed out at her because everybody is dying, despite the fact that y’all agreed to stay behind and fight, nobody even told her that y’all were sick, AND you still wasn’t 100 with Little Cato. 

You just had a lot of mothafuckin audacity this season, Avocato, and I personally was not here for the shit. Even when Ash blasted yo ass, your main thought was to threaten to kill her if she took Little Cato, instead of assuring her that despite what you’ve done, Little Cato was safe with you. No, she wouldn’t have listened to you. But, the words you chose tell us about who you are and how you are. You a war mongering killer that don’t ever take responsibility for his shit, and even in those brief moments that you do, its always somebody else’s problem. 

I’da thunk that LC getting snatched away would be humbling for you, but I guess you were chosen by the writers for minimal growth. Bye, Avocato. Witcha bitch ass. We is not cool right now, but you do you. Hope you find some growth up there in ya ass, where ya head been. 😁 Can’t believe I mourned yo ass. You coulda stayed dead as hell.

FINALE NOTES:

OK BITCH OK THIS FINALE WAS HYPE!

Let me pull it up so that I can liveblog it for the shit that I need to conclude this journey. 

We start out after Ash done took Little Cato and burnt off. Gary and AVOCATO done said they finna go get they son. Chile, I cannot handle Biskit voice. I like that lil’ dude but ya voice, Mane. I can’t with it. 

OK OK OK... Whenever Quinn comes up to Gary to talk to him and say potential goodbyes, she look like she wanna say some and that makes me think about whenever she looked like she wanted to say something in season 1 and didn’t. Quinn as grown a lot in her feelings for Gary, but she still has that hard time with talking about her feelings, but I love that you can see them in her face.

Chile... these folk was kinda taking they time gettin started, huh? Knuckas, do y’all remember that everybody finna die of FS poisoning? Lol. Also... why didn’t they start hallucinating and shit? I guess its not until it covers ya face? 

NIGHTFALL. 😥 I love you, Sis. I miss you. But, “Because I’m you and WE think of everything...” YES. I HAVE BEEN SAYING THAT! EVERYBODY EXPECTS QUINN TO THINK OF EVERYTHING AND WHENEVER THEY DON’T THINK OF THE THINGS, SHE GETS BLAMED FOR MAKING THE TOUGH DECISIONS THAT NOBODY ELSE COULD EVEN MAKE. Underappreciated, really. And people still mark Nightfall as a villain, despite the fact that she not only sacrificed herself, but also came specifically to help another Gary. Sidenote - Nightfall didn’t actually pursuit Quinn’s Gary until Quinn was trapped in Final Space and she thought she got a signal from him. So, I’m still salty AF that she been labelled as a villain just because people don’t like her, when her actions have all been to try to help. Here is no difference. She thought of the things that she didn’t think a younger version of her would think of, and left it for Quinn to find. Nightfall be on RNS, and most of y’all didn’t deserve her.

Quinn’s identity crisis is so sad, but I liked that Nightfall EVEN thought about that. And Sheryl... you kinda starting to grow on me. I hate to give shitty mothers who find compassion in old chance a try, but she do seem to really be giving it a go. 

Ash is so fucked up that she rushes right into the devil’s arms. This reminds me of when trafficking victims go back to their abusers because they don’t have the resources to adjust in the system. 😪 She REALLY believes what she’s saying. She really feels like Little Cato is safer with Invictus with the Team Squad. That’s sad as fuck, bruh. 

THE. ACTING. AND. ARTWORK. IN. THIS. CONFRONTATION. SCENE.

Avocato... I’m proud of you for FINALLY taking responsibility ad opening up about it. Little Cato’s reaction is precisely how kids in the system are, as well. They wanna be at home with their parents, no matter who their parents are or what they’ve done. and Avocato meant what he said and did what I referred to earlier as “Ventraxian man up.”

“I’m sorry we failed you,” from Gary was so important. Because, they technically did fail her. Had Ash seen the same amount of love from Gary as she’s seen him give to others, she might have been more receptive to the truth and less susceptible to lies. But, as she had just said earlier, it was too late for kind words. She’s currently beyond accepting them from him. For a brief moment, it breaks through, but without that ability to know love from an adult properly, she can’t accept that apology right now.

H.U.E. with his big robot, Lord Commander...EYE. There’s so much happening right now bitch processing has left the room girl. Biskit did so damn much this episode. And it was good to see everybody on the team have a moment to help things, instead of like one person having to handle the bulk of things. 

Quinn’s begging voice... its such a contrast from whenever she sent out the SOS in season 1 and was afraid and angry. Like... the desperation here shows her softness. 

Ash’s RAGE Bitch...

Gary’s “I love you...” She looked so happy! And then she just sat with it. I feel like she definitely loves him too, but she doesn’t communicate that way. But, her FACE. She was just... did she think that he didn’t before, or was she just speechless because she didn’t expect to hear it? Because, we gotta be real... Sis probably has not ever heard those words from anybody before. And that first time, when it’s really there is a DOOZIE. She had an abusive mother, a seemingly jealous or competitive sister, and we saw how nobody in the Infinity Guard respected her ass when she was serving them the real. I think this is the first time she’s been in love or felt it and when Gary said it, she had to collect herself. The way she ran to him and jumped into his arms??? SHIPPING CRACK. And Mooncake was a part of their hug too. I have a lot of feelings about this dynamic since Quinn and Mooncake are the only characters that we’ve seen Gary have these “love at first sight” reactions to and Mooncake is the first character that I recall Quinn being nice to in S1. 

So.. my heart was very full when they ripped it from my chest moments later. Mooncake has been watching Team Squad members be self sacrificing for a little while now, and he loves his family and Gary so much that he rushes straight towards danger. (Sure, I don’t think that he estimated how powerful Ash could be at this moment), but he had to at least consider that he might be caught or left behind.

Bitch, Ash is GONE. She said, “Fuck all y’all!” Not knowing whether or not Mooncake is destroyed makes it very hard for me to know how much I can stand this, but I also want to hope that he is gonna survive. Quinn having to make the decision to lightfold is hella sad, but even though Gary is destroyed, he has to know that this is exactly how Ash must’ve felt whenever he had to make the call to leave Fox behind. She hated to do that to Gary. She even seemed more regretful about it than Gary did whenever he had to leave Fox and when he left Ash. Sure, its because she loves him more than he loved Fox and Ash, but its a terrible position to be in to have to hurt somebody you love like that. On the other hand, they gave her hella shit for them not escaping when could have the first time, so naturally, she was going to make this decision. 

It very much sucks that Invictus is free and my brain can’t eeem FATHOM what that means for everything and everybody, but the Final Space poisoning left the Team Squad’s system, so maybe there is a rejuvenation of some sort in Invictus’ power? Or does Final Space poisoning leave your system as soon as you leave Final Space? I don’t think that was clarified. 

Anyways, I still don’t hate Ash. Y’all can say whatever about it, but I see sad white boys get forgiven all day every day on this site, and I’m upset, but I’m not letting my baby go. I’m not cheering her on, but unless she dies, I’m gonna hope for the best for her, like I said here. 

DAMN this season was some shit. Ionknow if I’m emotionally capable of watching another season of Final Space in progress. If they make it back for another season, I will most likely just wait until the end to dive in and let them shock my senses all at once instead of on a weekly goddamn basis, because GODDAMN GODDAMN GODDDAMN!

@andromidagalaxie @daintyurbanprincess @shslargue @space-finally​  The Quinnary Moments Masterlist probably won’t be ready by Quinn’s birthday, since her birthday is the day before Juneteenth, but I’ve started on a little fic that I might have the first installment of posted by then. We shall see. 

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Here is my JOURNEY during my first watch of the first two seasons of the show. (I watched Season 3 in progress and waited until it was over to write up this review) and my probably incoherent tag of whenever I do me a lil’ liveblogging: Nesha Watches Final Space, and here is my review on Quinnary: BFCD Reviews by Nesha: (Quinn Ergon/Nightfall x Gary Goodspeed) FINAL SPACE

[nickysescapism]

here my thought on Fate real quick:

Things that did not piss me off:

Bloom being extra spicy really mega ultra special² (by now I’m not even surprised anymore)

Silva

the short time we spent with Marco

That one good-looking specialist girl that got killed off pretty quickly (you will be missed)

Terra’s dad

Bloom being the only one with an american accent (because british accents are supperior and also it shows that Bloom does not “fit in”)

Sam aka another white boy (but my feelings towards him were neutral so yeah)

Things that did piss me off:

the blatant whitewashing

unnecessary pop culture references (we get it you watched HP and make IG stories)

pls stop butchering the four houses like that if you can’t get your facts straight

the constant fatphobia

Riven’s obvious biphobia and everyone just accepting it

the 'blond mean girl' trope because what would we do without it

the victim (Dane) falling for the bully (Riven) for no apparent reason

“I hAvE A cOuSin NaMeD FlOrA”

the only black woc being the “mom of the group” because we haven’t seen this stereotype for a hot sec

the boring and repetitive sequences of the specialists training with wooden sticks like children in elementary school

“We DoN’t HaVe WiNgS aNymOrE”

Bloom being super selfish and everyone risking their lives for her constantly because they all love her anyway

the line “you full-creeped on my insta last night and I haven’t told anyone” exists non ironically (Riverdale called they want their awful-cringy-lines back)

"Riv"

fetishizing bi people (because bi’s can only ewist on Netflix if they are doing threesomes because that’s what being bi is all about apparently)

using the word mansplaining in the first episode TWICE in the span of a few minutes and not even using it right

the only healthy relationship (Musa and Sam) is so freaking boring that one had to make up a non existing drama to make it less boring

the unburned slaughtering like 10 specialist who are pros and do this job for years but two first-year fairies were able to get away without a scratch

the non existing friendship between the winx's and therefore it makes no sense that they still keep hanging out with each other

the erasure of our queen tecna!!

all the good specialist were erased too (like Timmy and Brandon)

the outfits making them look like grown ass moms and not like teenagers

the cast looking like they are more likely to be in college than in high school

Beatrix (besides everything she isn’t even a good villain, she is the worst secret “villain” i’ve ever seen like she is like a freaking elefant in mouse town)

and now Alfea basically is Hogwarts 2.0 but a cheaper version of it

changing Musa's powers because we need element powers for some freaking reason and not even doing anything with her powers for like 90% of the show

everything looking so dark and greasy and boring and basically not like Magix or anything magical at all

Stella (she is basically Diaspro but so much worse)

the lowkey abusive relationship between the adoptive parents (mom) and Bloom just to never mention it again

Aisha having no backstory and telling EVERYONE constantly that she swims but we never get scenes of her outside of her "parenting Bloom" sidequests

Terra saying that she misses Stella because she insulted her and was mean to her, because fat girls need this constant body shaming amiright?

they really tried making Stella bullying Terra ✨their thing✨

Aisha struggling with her powers is suddenly not important anymore when it’s inconvenient

the girls hate each other for like 80% of the show and suddenly they have a deep bonding

Musa being useless and stating the obvious and only being there for obvious exposition

"You are sad, aren’t you?"

“Yes, how do you know that? Is it because I’m crying my eyes out right now?”

“No, dummy. I’m a mind fairy. I can feel what you feel.”

the whole changeling plot

erasing the Trix and compromizing them into one character, but then give Beatrix two side kicks so they are basically a group of three again ???

they made it even more straight than the OG

the Sky/Stella/Bloom love triangle because we needed that one

the adults being stupid af

Vanessa apparently almost dying in the fire and having third degree burns but only at places that can be covered by clothes easily (and also they do not look like third dagree burns at all)

Bloom ready to kill her “parents” because they took away her door

“BuTt StUfF” another great literal masterpiece from our all-time favorite Riv

Stella is not only not part of the group for like 75% of the time, the others also don’t like her at all and therefore you don’t care about her problems at all

the teachers being unecessary mean to their students like “oh you just learned to control your powers, well damn you still suck hope you get better soon lol that looks so bad try harder”

Aisha being the only one who has no love interest

^same as Terra who is pining after a dude that doesn’t like her that way

Bloom always playing the victim and always acting like no one suffers as much as she does

using pop music that doesn’t fit the tone of the scene at all (and also ruining one of my fav songs)

Alfea basically turning into every garbage teenage high school Netflix ever had

Everyone acting as if Beatrix is super smart and a good spy even tho she sucks at it without end (why would you try to get as much attention as possible?? and kill your accomplice???)

no other planets but realms and still here everyone knows that California is part of America because americans aren’t full of themselves at all. Just replace California and America with anything else. :)

“You aren’t from Solaria, are you? Where are you from?”

“I’m from California Fer Island.”

“Uh...is that..part of...?”

“America Everix, obviously????”

they tried desperately to be woke by throwing stuff around like “don’t be sexist” and “don’t come at me with this feminist bs” like good job...to the white old dudes who completely missed the entire point of feminism and sexism - performantive feminism if you will - always SAYING the most basic feminist (women can be strong too) stuff but not DOING it

fire is somehow effective against BURNED creatures (e.g. throwing water filled balloons at a mermaids)

all telling and no showing (expositions + no flashbacks = BORING)

Sky being so obessed with Bloom that he doesn’t care that she drugged him at one point

Dane’s character doing a 180 out of nowhere for plot convenience

Stella being a threat to other students but no one seems to care

the good ol’ the bad guys aren’t really bad but in the end turns out they are and the good guys were the good guys all along plot twist that we have seen a million times on netflix alone

Sky not having trust issues after Bloom spiked the water bottle and just accepting that she felt the need to drug him

Sky having daddy issues and that being treated as his main character trait

using phones all the time but when it’s important suddenly no one got a phone with them

beatrix drags a random “bad  boy” into her evil plan because that was ever a good thing to do but kills her only partner that already had the trust of FaRa

Sky still persuing Bloom even tho he knows that Stella could blind Bloom because she can’t control her powers and even threatens to do so - again no one saw a problem with that??

Bloom being one of the worst liars out there but Aisha is like “wow, you are a great liar” like no bitch you literally had to help her five seconds ago

Stella blinding her best friend being one of the most underwhelming plots I have ever seen (I mean how can a show fuck it up so bad that a literal girl blinding her best friend doesn’t interest me?)

no one can have an interesting storyline because there is the slight chance that they could outshine the real star (bloom)

^therefore most sideplots are super shallow or just boring

[chenoehi]

The comet, Zero and Riku’s comments, and Sesshomaru’s...age?

To branch off of this post, I was thinking about what was going through Sesshomaru’s mind as he waited for the twins to be born. Like, did he know the comet was coming, did that play a part in his whisking the twins away, or was he just on guard because he knew demons might take advantage once the news spread, etc. That led me down this specific rabbit hole.

So, Sesshomaru presumably knew that the comet was approaching; after all, as Riku told Kagome it was only 500 years ago that his father helped destroy the last one. And Sesshomaru is supposedly 900-1,000 years old. Right? But what’s bothering me is that Zero shows up to let Sesshomaru know she and Kirinmaru will be a threat to his family (as I pointed out in this post, it’s really weird she’d warn him first instead of you know, just, killing them?). And the whole exchange, her pointing out that they need him to destroy the comet, it just seems that maybe...he didn’t know? It could just be bad storytelling, but he seemed urgent after that whereas up until that point he appeared almost relaxed. Jaken knowing where they’d go to destroy it could throw a wrench in this idea, but again, could be poor storytelling.

More importantly, the only reason Sesshomaru wouldn’t know is if he wasn’t born until after the comet passed, and in that case he’s younger than he’s been presumed to be.

No matter what, Sesshomaru is clearly still growing and developing because of how slowly demons age; we’ve seen this time and time again. Toga is physically more mature than his son when he died, and if Sesshomaru is, in fact, less than 500 that means he could have been about 300 when their father died (much closer to Inuyaha’s current age). Inuyasha himself is a hanyo but even he grows slowly. We know by the time his mother died he was still a child or young looking and we know that he now still resembles a teenager, looking a little younger than Sesshomaru. If Sesshomaru is less than 500 years old then he’s not even that much older than Inuyasha, who is ~200 years old (that was already presumed/possibly confirmed and then HNY confirmed Toga died 200 years ago, and since Swords of an Honorable Ruler is anime canon now that’s the same day Inuyasha was born).

I could be 100% wrong, he could have known about the comet, and that’s that, but the interesting thing to me is that the possibility of Sesshomaru being less than 500 years old instead of the 900-1000 years old I thought he was should blow my preconceptions of Sesshomaru’s maturity level to pieces however it honestly doesn’t. If Sesshomaru is only a few centuries older than Inuyasha, that actually would make more sense given how he acts. I’ve always thought it strange that at almost 1,000 years old Sesshomaru could still be so single minded and childish, and physically still look young. If he’s closer to 500 it just makes more sense, so I’d prefer it as the simpler explanation. Ockham’s Razor and all that. And given Inuyasha’s physical, emotional, and mental maturity at 200 years old, Sesshomaru could absolutely be 300 years old or younger in Swords of an Honorable Ruler. He’s visibly younger than his OG/FA future self—smaller, more youthful, and shorter. Similar to Inuyasha now.

On this note about his age: can I just have a moment of silence for Kaede calling Sesshomaru a fool, like yes sis, that’s right he is a damn immature fool. Wise centuries old demon lord my ass, he is a teenager and overall human disaster.

I love this bitch, I do, but he literally spent two whole centuries roaming the countryside whining about how daddy didn’t leave him the better sword until he became a grave robber. Then he tried to kill his little brother (who, fun fact, he actually acknowledged as his little brother before he knew Tessaiga was Inuyasha’s and got big mad, thereafter refusing to acknowledge Inuyasha) because he was jealous. He only started giving up the plot when he discovered that Inuyasha needed Tessaiga, realizing that maybe daddy wasn’t slighting him after all—but he was still immature and petty enough to smack his brother in the face for ‘desecrating their father’s grave’ when homeboy literally used daddy’s bones as a jungle gym months prior. And when everyone pitied him for being used as a tool to complete the Meido, and he seemed convinced at that point his father rejected him, it was his growing compassion for other people and letting go of his desire for Tessaiga (and subsequently his hatred for Inuyasha) that finally allowed him to grow.

He had to suffer his dad’s convoluted trials to grow stronger and mature enough to stop kicking his brother around over a bruised ego and to stop blaming all humans and hanyous for his father’s death. And as shitty as that sounds on the surface, I’m not sure his father would have gotten through to Sesshomaru any other way.

So basically, he’s a perfect mess and totally does not have his shit together, and in no way can I see him as the wise adult people want to make him because, well, he’s ‘a centuries old demon lord’ and a ‘grown man’. That literally means not a damn thing. We are not talking about a human here. It’s not the same as if a 19 year old human had kids with a younger girl. I’m not saying there’s nothing uncomfortable about it or that it’s morally 100% OK. And Sunrise could have done better on...certain points. My issue is that it’s comparing apples and oranges.

Case in point: all the hanyo children on Mystic Island, SHIPPO, MEIFOKU, even Jinenji who is large and not human-like as most hanyous are but yet appears to be extremely innocent despite having to be at least 40-50+ human years old. Full demon true age =/= human age and maturity. Setsuna and Towa (and possibly Shiori) are anomalies as they age at the rate of humans, but the majority of the others don’t. As a full demon aging and maturing slowly, at 900 (or 500) years old Sesshomaru is a sassy, bratty 19 year old. Two centuries prior, dude was looking like a younger, even brattier 17-18 year old when his father died. In another 50 years guess what, he’s still going to be looking like an immature 19-20 year old.

It will literally take centuries for him to mature just into his 20s and resemble his father’s age, both physically and metaphorically. And by that time any human wife he would have had would be long dead, having lived a full human life. Meanwhile, homeboy is just going to be entering his 20s. Which means at some point his human wife will eventually eclipse him in emotional maturity, which for a demon is more significant than physical maturity as they can’t possibly match their human counterpart for any decent length of time. A human lifetime is, after all, a blink of an eye for them and therefore the primary reason that they cannot possibly relate to human notions of age and maturity.

Knowing what we know about his personality and his underlying immaturity (whereas Inuyasha’s is more surface-level), how people thought he’d actually be a perfect non-problematic husband and father (to ANYONE) is beyond me.

All that being said, clearly he loves his family. That much is obvious with the lengths he’s willing to go and the sacrifices he’s willing to make to keep them safe. And yes that includes Inuyasha, Kagome, and their child. He’s saved and helped them, he’s fought with them, he’s long stopped from trying to cause them harm, and letting go of his hatred for Inuyasha allowed him to become stronger. And he doesn’t even bat an eye at Kagome any more, she can literally say whatever she wants to him. No way do I believe he would ever help Kirinmaru kill any of them. I fully believe he’s trying to do his best with poor communication skills and even poorer options.

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

y’know the wildest thing still to happen to me on this hellsite was my first experience of sexting, sans nudes, that was done in front of at least 250-500 followers because of those horny anons i had in early 2013 when i was 17. instead of being exposed to it on my phone privately with a partner at that age, it was done publicly for the internet to see lmao. i remember begging the anons to stop and “come off anon” because i was “losing followers” at the time too bc i was so insecure about my follower count lmao. and then yeah when they came off anon they were both 28 years old.

to write the responses, i just consulted cosmo mag sex pages for ideas hoping that the anons would like the options i chose. in one i detailed doing anal- a sex act i hadn’t even done yet irl- let alone every other thing i suggested in them (head, idek long, drawn out foreplay, some stupid fancy sex moves that cosmo was all like “use these moves to spice up your sex life 🔥🔥”, sex in a bath, i’m pretty sure i had some lines about tying or handcuffing them to a bed (????) etc etc etc)….

when again, i had never even done any of those above sex acts in real life. i was a naive teen who was incredibly shy in regards towards her love life because she’d “never been kissed” and had never had the “hot emo boyfriend whose in a band and is covered in tattoos” she’d always wanted, let alone even a boyfriend that she had actually fucking liked (ie clear braces boy, for like a month in year 9/2010 vs the popular boys that made fun of her, that she always had unrequited crushes on)…. hell, my blog title when i first started on here in 2011 was “the perfect epitome of being forever alone” because of these very reasons. but here she was, writing explicit sex acts to strangers like she knew what the fuck she was doing, to an audience of 250-500 people- and then to fucking grown ass men in inboxes. i was just parroting the shit i’d read in cosmo (both sex advice and sometimes excerpts of erotica/“sexy, steamy reads” they had some months) and also heard repeatedly in the porn that my high school stalker/creeper at public school loved to show (harass) me with to flirt with me, whenever we were alone together at school in 2012/2013.

like you could tell how naive i was….. because i used ridiculous lines like “like a gentleman entranced, you lead me to the bath for our next foray” and dumbass prose-y things like that. because what the fuck does that even mean 😂😅????

and this is why i think minors should be careful with their online experiences. like yeah, you could say that i wasn’t a minor anymore- more of a “young adult”- who should of made the smart decision to not engage with these anons. but i was a kid. i thought it was fun. and when the dudes came off anon, i thought to myself “it’s not like i’m ever gonna meet them if i ever go to the US or puerto rico at any point. it’s not like that they’ll ever recognise me in person or ever reach out to me again in the future. i might as well do it.” and i did eventually end up ignoring the guys in my inbox, due to my mental health kinda plummeting from the middle til the end of 2013 because of my end of high school exams and stuff… and also the puerto rican guy’s infamously inappropriate “hot PE teacher fucks HOT female high school student in the girls change room showers” fantasy which fucking disgusted me, when he full well knew that i was STILL IN high school.

and obviously again, there’s the point about using the “block” button function. but as i’ve stated several times over my years on here, back in my early days of tumblr, i never wanted to block or unfollow people (even if they were trash like these two men), because it seemed so “mean” and “final”. obvs now i have no qualms about blocking people, and actively encourage younger people on here to use the block button with reckless abandon towards creepy people or people who can hurt them in some way. but to high school teenage me, the whole “using the block button” thing seemed to go against me being a “nice girl/person” so i never used it, no matter which social media platform i was on.

this is why i’m hella scared for young teen girls on tik tok wanting to have onlyfans accounts: because it’s where they’ll be exposed to ACTUAL CREEPS AND PREDATORS incredibly quickly; all because they can make money off selling images of just their feet or eventually their body….. depending on what these creepy strangers demand from them….. and they’ll feel like they’ll have to do it…. but to do it before you even start experimenting properly with relationships and sex is even worse. like. yeah. i’ve admitted before that i originally started this tumblr to possibly post nudes, to see if i’d get the positive feedback that i so desperately wanted/craved from the boys in my year at catholic school- eg. to be called “sexy”, “hot”, “fuckable” possibly “beautiful”- like some of the so called “popular girls” got on their hella basic bikini photos back then (like i remember one girl i knew ended up with like 500 likes and a fair amount of comments on one of her bikini pics and i was INCREDIBLY BITTER because not even a pic of me with a nice outfit on, my hair done and makeup on could EVER get those numbers, let alone even break over the double digits).

but i decided posting nudes or other explicit images on here was an absolute no go, because i realised that i never wanted people that i knew digging up barely clothed/naked pics of me and sending them to me all like “hey, is this you?” and then possibly mocking me, all because i would’ve been dumb enough to put my face in them probably at the time. now when i take nudes and send them, i never show my face. because i know now, that even in relationships, your partner can use nude pics as leverage for arguments or to abuse you in such a way that they’ll upload your pics without your knowledge to god knows where on the internet probably as a way to get back at you in a horrible breakup.

this is what i sincerely hope some young girls who ever contemplate starting onlyfans accounts take some time SERIOUSLY CONSIDER. please know that if you share shit on onlyfans, it can shared and re-shared (i think idek how OF works tbh) to god knows who- and eventually end up in the hands of people you know. i don’t fucking care if it’s a “good way to make money!” or if people think that im trying to stop teen girls from being “girl bosses” and the other dumb as fuck internet memes you want to throw at me. because this shit isn’t “haha internet meme funny” material. it’s some fucking serious stuff. and also, i’m not saying “don’t become a sex worker when you’re older” or whatever either. you’re free to make that choice when you’re in your 20s (no i even mean 17-19 year olds in this post as “young teen girls”- sorry you’re basically kids to me at almost 26). just please consider where the fuck your stuff can be shared to. who it can end up being shared with or to.

this is why i was so fucking adamant with my infamous old follower mr adelaide fuckboy/MAF that i personally would NOT consider becoming a camgirl for him or just generally… because i had no idea where the fuck my images or videos would end up. and do you know the places i’d never want them to fucking be??? in the hands of my high school stalker/creeper. in the hands of those two 28yo men from 2013 (who’d now be in there late 30s or early 40s). i absolutely don’t want them in the hands the mid-to-late 20s and early 30s men that that girl i met at public school in 2012 who was pissed that i didn’t believe that were “adults” because we were finally over the legal age of consent (16) in our state of australia, and so we were apparently fine to “fuck” literal grown ass men because “just fuck them and they’ll be nice to you!!” which i knew was fucking bullshit.

i absolutely don’t fucking want explicit videos/images of me ending up in “why the fuck won’t you let me give you “sex lessons” in the back of my car as a “favour” and as payment for teaching you how to drive you stupid, stuck up & frigid, virgin bitch!?” guy’s hands from 2014 (when i was 18/19 at the time and he was 25… he ended up being the first person of many i’d EVER block on social media lol). or i don't want them in the hands of those weird early 20s dudes (one of which was trying to set me up with his friend) who hit on me at 16/17 (2012) who were angry that i didn’t like and watch porn as much as they did…. and who promptly asked me at the end of their period of harassing of me: “do you know any sluts we could add?” because i kept refusing their suggestions etc.

hell, quite frankly i don’t even want them to go to mr adelaide fuckboy/MAF either, but the very few and far between nudes that i sent on snapchat to him back in 2016 are some nudes that i’d rather forget lmao. hell. i don’t even know if MAF ever deleted my nudes or shared them somewhere else or not, after he fucking wheedled them out of me with “i’ve followed you for 4 years, don’t be a shit! you owe me nudes!” so he’d just shut the fuck up about my social life decisions and leave me the fuck alone.

i don’t want ANY ONE of the guys i mentioned above to get their hands on photos of minors either…. because i definitely know my hs stalker/creeper would… because his fave “make her jealous” tactic that he’s always used on me is that “hey…. i’m dating a *insert teenage girl’s age here*! be fucking jealous that you don’t fucking have me and feel guilty that you won’t fuck me like this girl does!!!” just like he did in 2015, when i ran into him on the home from uni… when i turned 20 the next week and he turned 20 that december. at that time it was a 14yo girl he used as an example of him “dating”/“fucking” to make me jealous. instead, i was completely and utterly fucking disgusted. like any fucking sane and normal human being would/should be at that horrible age gap. that is literally a fucking child that he was fucking grooming. and we were literal adults. back the fuck away.

just please. PLEASE CONSIDER the types of people that trawl these kinds of sites and their intentions. please consider that you are young. very fucking young. you literally DO NOT need to upload nudes to the internet because it’s apparently a “lucrative” business. fuck the jokey “boss babe” rhetoric around it all the way to fucking hell.

because if you’re a minor: i do not want you to have your first experience of sexting or sending explicit images literally in front of god knows how many total strangers for the whole world to see (okay i know only fans is like subscriber/follower based or whatever. but i don’t care)…… even when you (depending how good you are with relationships etc) haven’t reached the common supposed milestones of your “first boyfriend/girlfriend/partner” or “first kiss” or have even “lost your virginity” (which isn’t real anyway- don’t buy this fucking bullshit)…. just like i stupidly did with my exposure to sexting here on my tumblr back in 2013. these people don’t/won’t give a flying fuck about your privacy or safety. they don’t/won’t give a fuck about your boundaries either.

please don’t possibly scar yourself for life, just because you’re being told that it’s a quick & convenient way to make some money for weirdos on the depths of the internet. you will regret it in future. just like i do now with mine. it should’ve been something personal between me and and a guy i trusted and liked at the time. not to some random 250-500 random strangers on this hellsite (okay the notes on these posts were literally single digits or non-existent, but still… and also some of my irl friends who had tumblr saw these posts as well) for a show….. and then privately with two 28yo literal grown ass men…. who should’ve been fucking hitting on women their own goddamned age and in their own countries and NOT a 17yo high school KID (at the time) from australia; who, now in her 20s, needs therapy to sort this shit out lmao. mind you they both reeled me in with the “you’re so mature for your age” bullshit line…. which i fell for a little bit, even if it did make me feel kinda gross at the time, too. don’t fall for that bullshit either.

[jess-rewatches-prodigalson]

Speak of the Devil (S2, E2)

Damn. I love this show.

As usual, my time stamped SPOILER FULL thoughts are below.

As always, I reference Malcolm’s mental health. A lot. So if talk about depression/mania/suicidal ideation is going to be a trigger for you, don’t keep reading. 

0:14 - Hector’s back!! hahaha :) 

0:40 - So Martin is worried about Malcolm.....he could stop manipulating Malcolm if he’s so worried. That would make Malcolm feel slightly better at least. 

0:50 - What. A. Boss. That ambush was gorgeously executed *chef’s kiss*. haha how many times do you think Jessica has orchestrated this type of ambush on one of her children? 

0:52 - I love this outfit on Malcolm. Seriously - why is it sooo attractive when he’s not wearing a tie?

0:55 -........he’s not seeing Gabrielle....but but he had a lollipop last episode. Am I supposed to believe he buys his own lollipops? Maybe he bought some to throw the team off the scent? UGH. MALCOLM, SWEETHEART, GO BACK TO THERAPY. YOU’RE IN CRISIS. ....wait. I bet you he’s not seeing Gabrielle because she knows when he’s lying. He’s probably scared that he’ll end up telling her about Endicott. And I’m pretty sure that legally Gabrielle can’t keep a crime a secret regardless of doctor-patient confidentiality. 

1:02 - .....Malcolm didn’t know that he wasn’t paying his own therapy bills? WHO DID HE THINK WAS PAYING THEM?!?! Damn. Rich people, am I right?

1:10 - You ever wonder how many therapists Malcolm saw as a kid before they found Gabrielle? Just me? Cool.

1:15 - OMG. “Sexual in nature”?!?! Calm down Jess. He’s a grown ass man and even if it was sexual Malcolm sure as hell wouldn’t want to talk to his mother about his sex life. 

1:19 - Oh so now both of your kids are in a “good place”? Martin, less than a minute ago you were ‘worried’ about Malcolm. Further proof that Martin is a liar and we can’t believe anything he says. Ever. 

1:43 - Tom Payne’s physical acting during this interaction with Jessica is incredible. Ugh. Honestly, can I give him an Emmy myself? Look. Look at his face when he says, “You wouldn’t understand.” This is a teenage boy trying to hide something from his mom and is terrified that she’ll see the lie if he makes eye-contact. <3 

1:45 - You know, Jessica really isn’t a perfect mother (especially to Ainsley) but she does care about her kids. I love her for it. She actually shows more concern for her adult children than most parents with adult children that I’ve been exposed to. 

2:08 - I can’t decide if I love the music that was playing through that scene or if it’s just super cheesy and cringey. I mean “I did a bad bad thing” right as the title page rolls out? Kind of amazing but also super dorky. 

2:13 - So Mr. David hears this whole conversation. Malcolm talking about his guilt, Martin calling Malcolm a hero, and Malcolm saying that the only person he can talk to about his problems is Martin. Sooooo either

 Mr. David is being paid very well to keep quiet on Whitly family drama, 

 Mr. David stopped listening years ago.

 Mr. David is a moron who can’t connect the dots. OR

 Mr. David is going to blow this whistle on this fiasco to Jessica soon. I mean, he called her in the first season when Malcolm started visiting Martin. Mr. David has Jessica’s number...and I have a hunch that Mr. David cares about Malcolm. He’s watched Malcolm grow up into a troubled, bizarre, but very sweet man. 

2:14 - “Why are you calling me?” Malcolm sounds upset that Martin is calling him; so why pick up the phone? I mean, I guess Martin will call him back incessantly but still. 

2:19 - Malcolm’s completely honest version of how he’s doing mentally is heartbreaking. He “doesn’t recognize himself anymore”? Ugh. Baby. My heart is shattering. Someone hug him. OR TAKE HIM TO GABRIELLE.

2:30 - There is a moment when Malcolm says, “narcissistic psychopath” where is genuinely sounds like he’s about to have a complete breakdown. This boy is on the verge. My whump heart loves it and it makes me evil. 

2:56 - aaannnnnnd there’s Malcolm on the verge of tears. This boy. Ugh. <3 

3:00 - “It’s not going away Malcolm. The guilt. Take it from me.” Sooooo Mr. David isn’t a moron right? He’s going to connect the dots. He has to. ISTG Jessica keeps saying “No more lies” in the promos because Mr. David told her what he overheard. 

3:06 - And that is the face of a boy who is dead on the inside. Seriously, he’s spent his whole life trying to convince himself (and others) that he is nothing like his father. But here we are - all his fears confirmed and it’s killed him. 

3:20 - “Is this what you used?” Ainsley is talking about how Malcolm disposed of the body right? Because last episode she thanked Malcolm for covering for her. Sooooo she clearly knows that she killed Endicott even if she doesn’t remember it. I mean, she was covered in blood - Malcolm wasn’t. 

3:23.- OMG. Endicott was killed with the Milton family silver. hahahaha why is that so funny to me?

3:43 - Just how big is that gap in her memory? I’d truly like to know. When did she check out, when did she check in, and are those times different than what she’s letting Malcolm believe?

3:55 - Yeah - I still want to know why she moved in. COVID? Is she afraid she’s going to do something else murdery? Because surely, living in the house where you know you killed someone can’t be pleasant. Or easy. Unless of course Ainsley is more like Martin than we’d like to believe. 

4:09 - hahahahaha I am living for Malcolm’s facial response to Jessica saying, “I am in charge of boxes.”

4:22 - hahahaha Malcolm and Ainsley teasing Jessica about Gil is so precious. I love it. I wish they were always that happy. 

4:40 - Look at Malcolm’s face when he says, “You and a certain Lieutenant”. He’s practically giddy. Whether that’s because he’s thoroughly enjoying the opportunity to tease his mother OR because he’s always wanted Jessica and Gil to be together in that way that many children who grow up in single parent homes hope for a fairytale parental ending. My guess - a mixture of both.

4:45 - Ainsley looks delighted at the idea of Gil/Jessica too. I assume it’s because she loves the gossip and the opportunity to tease Jessica. BUT I also wonder what Ainsley’s relationship with Gil is like? Do they have one? 

4:58 - “Does he let you wear his turtlenecks?” OMG. bahahahaha comedic GOLD. 

5:10 - THIS. The evolution of JT and Malcolm’s friendship is everything. 10/10 would recommend. So sweet. LOOK AT HOW CONCERNED MALCOLM IS. <3 <3 Malcolm’s been calling JT?!?! UGH. This warms my cold dead heart.

5:20 - JT is a bad liar. This dude is not okay. 

5:27 - “When I say I’m fine, I’m always lying.” .....we already knew this but it hurts to hear Malcolm say is so nonchalantly. 

5:32 - JT does the sign of the cross....so he’s definitely religious. 

5:56 - “Holy...” “Watch it Bright.” hahaha how much do you want to bet that Gil took Malcolm to church once (1) time as a kid. It went so poorly that Gil never brought him again. Malcolm was probably questioning the priest and generally just asking a lot of “why” questions. 

6:15 - Gil is so done with the Edrisa+Bright banter. Look at his face - he’s just sooo tired. .....is Gil particularly cranky this episode because Jessica is dodging his phone calls?

6:23 - Malcolm looks pensive as soon as Gil mentions that the Father had been with the church for 30 years. Why? 

6:56 - I’m not going to lie. I’m really getting tired of the crap Dani (and even Gil in this episode - is he mad at Malcolm for avoiding him when he was hospital-bound? Or just cranky because Jessica isn’t calling him back?) are giving Malcolm. He’s asking a question relevant to the case. Sure - it’s not an easy question to ask but last season they wouldn’t have glared at him for asking it. I understand that Dani is upset with Malcolm for lying to her and she probably thinks he knows something about how Endicott died. I get it - Malcolm screwed up. BUT Dani’s reaction is so over the top. I understand where she’s coming from - she has trust issues. That doesn’t give her the right to treat him like garbage for the rest of his life. It’s been literally MONTHS. 

7:11 - “That’s not a no.”....Damn, he looks cute when he says that. 

7:30 - I LOVE that Malcolm knows so much about the Bible and Catholicism even though he’s not a believer. It makes me think he investigated a ton of religions as a kid - looking for relief from his trauma. I respect that he did the research and I respect that he doesn’t (openly at least) think other people are moronic/short-sighted for believing in God(s). 

7:56 - I’ll be honest, my first reaction to Jonah was: “Why does he look and sound like he’s dying?”

8:03 - “Catholic.” haha I love some good religious comedy. BUT AGAIN GIL, THAT GLARE IS SO NOT NECESSARY. That wasn’t a ‘warning - you’re being insensitive’ glare. That was a ‘I’m your father and you’re in sooo much trouble’ glare. I love Gil with my whole heart but everyone is being a dick to Malcolm today (minus JT and Edrisa) and I’m done with it. Malcolm’s fragile mental state can’t handle it. Be nice to my boy. 

8:35 - Is this Gil’s church?!? Why does he know all the church staff by name? He either attends this church or someone gave him an amazing briefing before he got to the church.

9:34 - At least Gil knows something is wrong with Malcolm. 

9:41 - What? That’s it? No. Gil - press on. Don’t accept Malcolm’s “I’m fine”.

10:18 - I wish this scene didn’t end with Gil’s look of disbelief and concern. I wish we got to see Gil tell Malcolm not to go see Martin. I wish we got a more concrete papa!Gil moment. 

10:42 - Something about the fact that Martin is tethered to a pole like a tether-ball is hilarious to me. Also - why are some prisoners not tied up? The inmate talking to Friar Pete has no rope. 

10:52 - Ugh. When exactly did Martin give Malcolm “The Talk”? Like how old was Malcolm? How traumatic was it? Ugh. It’s very upsetting to remember that Martin acted like a good father to Malcolm for a good portion of the first 10 years of Malcolm’s life. It really doesn’t help Malcolm’s PTSD. 

11:00 - That’s right Malcolm. Don’t let Martin ramble. Stand your ground. <3 So proud of Malcolm <3

11:15 - Listen to the way Malcolm says, “Who is that?”. He’s some combination of resigned and scared. I love it. 

11:33 - Friar Pete is so creepy. The way he just walks up to Malcolm until his rope goes taught?! UGH. Poor Malcolm looks so done with this whole situation. He’s rolling his eyes and grimacing at various points throughout this scene. He has some major sass right now and I’m here for it. 

 11:41 - “You two should talk!” ....Is this Martin’s really eff-ed up way of trying to help Malcolm with his guilt about Endicott? I don’t like it.....and Malcolm’s face tells me he doesn’t either. 

12:48 - Is that true? Can churches really not exorcise people without medical permission in the current day?  I thought exorcisms were just banned? IDK - I’m a Christian, my branch of faith doesn’t do exorcisms. 

13:33 - YES! A JT AND MALCOLM SCENE. <3 <3 I’m unreasonably happy about this. 

13:45 - sooooooo is this Norman’s real home and his real mother? The first time I watched it I thought it was some sort of weird catholic-inpatient facility but now I’m not sure. 

15:10 - Ok. I can’t hold back anymore. Malcolm’s shoes. They. Are. Awful. I understand - Tom Payne is a short guy. He probably needs heels to fit in the shot. I’m not mad about the heels. I’m made that they gave him very very ugly heels. Is it just me? These shoes are hideous. 

15:14 - “Hi Norman.” .....Malcolm is so soft here and I’m in love with it. My cold dead heart is melting. Also JT’s freaked-out look in this scene is everything. 

15:25 - There’s something about the way Malcolm says “Good.” that just hits me really hard. It’s beautiful. He sounds and looks a little scared but he’s also really calm and professional and it’s just...*chef’s kiss*. 

16:44 - “He’s clearly mentally-ill.” I love this. I love that Malcolm is defending the person with a severe mental illness because he doesn’t have any proof that Norman committed a crime. It also breaks my heart. Makes me think of how many people dismissed or judged Malcolm poorly throughout his life because Malcolm’s mental illnesses. Even though they weren’t quite as extreme as Norman’s.

16:54 - I love this. JT is telling Malcolm to stay behind the line partially out of fear (because this whole Norman situation is clearly freaking JT out big time) but also partially because he just cares about Malcolm. I love their friendship and it’s evolution. SO. MUCH. 

17:21 - Is there a mirror of something? How the hell did Norman know that Malcolm crossed the salt? Was it the slight creaking in the floorboards?

17:54 - Dude. Is every suspect this season going to accuse Malcolm of being a killer? First Boyd, now Norman. This is not helping Malcolm’s mental state or his ability to hide his guilt from the team. 

18:30 - “Malcolm Bright. Always crossing the line.” lol. I love JT here. He’s half-teasing Malcolm. Makes me think that he subtly trying to tell Malcolm that he isn’t the killer Norman says that he is. 

18:44 - I DO NOT LIKE THIS. LOOK AT HOW SCARED MALCOLM IS WHEN HE WALKS INTO THE ROOM. A ROOM WITH GIL AND DANI IN IT. THIS IS NOT RIGHT. HE’S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED OF THEM. 

19:00 - “What the hell do you have?”. Wow. Okay. No. I love Gil. I understand that he loves Malcolm like a son and he’s scared for Malcolm and Malcolm’s mental state. But this question is so over the line. Gil knows damn well what Malcolm’s mental diagnoses are. It feels like he’s accusing Malcolm of being crazy. I don’t like it. 

19:17 - “Are you serious?” Ok. Dani really needs to start being nicer to Malcolm. She doesn’t have to trust him but some professional civility would be great. I really don’t like how hard the writers are pushing this tension between Dani and Malcolm. It makes Dani look so immature. An adult would be pissed but get over the anger after literal months. The relationship wouldn’t necessarily be the same but it sure as hell wouldn’t be this hostile.

19:40 - Something about Malcolm being the calmest person in the room is both comforting and upsetting. 

19:55 - “My father gave it to me.”.....that’s so not going to help Gil’s concern about Malcolm.

20:50 - This is cute. We don’t get to see enough of Jessica and Ainsley acting like a semi-normal mother-daughter duo. I love it. 

21:00 - “We are WASPs. It’s. What. We. Do.” OMG. Hahahaha 

21:05 - I love how invested Ainsley is in the Gil/Jessica relationship. It’s so clear that she wants her Mom to be happy and I love it. It also makes me wonder if she ever wanted Gil to be her real dad as a kid.

21:30 - Damn. This episode is creepy.

21:45 - First clue that this is a dream - Malcolm says “we” but he’s alone. 

21:57 - ...are Nuns allowed to paint their nails? #GenuineQuestion

22:14 - Not going to lie. This made me cry. I relate to Malcolm so damn much here. I’ve had a severe anxiety disorder for as long as I can remember (seriously I saw my first therapist - against my will - at the age of 4). I’ve also had chronic depression for almost as long. AND I’m a christian. I can’t tell you how many times other christians have told me to “cast my worries on the Lord” and “be free” of my pain. Or that I don’t really believe in God because I’m still suffering so visibly. The problem is - I don’t know if I want to be free. I’ve had these issues so long that I’m genuinely not sure who I’d be without them. It’s how I define myself. It affects every aspect of my personality. I feel like Malcolm might feel the same way - he doesn’t want to suffer anymore but he’s afraid of finding out who he is without the pain. 

22:17 - Okay. So there’s Gil’s voice. So Gil+ Malcolm = “we”. As though I’m supposed to believe that Gil would split up with Malcolm when they’re looking for a nun, who isn’t even a suspect, at a church. Nah. I don’t buy it. This is clearly a dream. 

22:30 - “You have to tell them what you did.”...and then we see the knife. Does this mean Malcolm is slowly convincing himself that he killed Endicott. Not Ainsley? Either way - I agree with nightmare-Ainsley. The team loves Malcolm but they’re also detectives. They’ll figure out what happened. And when they do - yikes. 

22:46 - I hate this. All season suspects have been calling Malcolm evil. Martin has been calling Malcolm a “hero”. Malcolm’s guilt is eating him alive. Simultaneously, the people who are supposed to trust and care about him (Dani, Gil, the precinct, Jessica) have all shown signs of doubting him. Dani alone has pointed a gun at Malcolm’s head. Now she’s wearing body armour? AND LOOK AT THE OTHER COPS. THEY ALL HAVE THEIR HANDS ON THEIR GUNS AS THOUGH MALCOLM IS A CRIMINAL. A THREAT. DANGEROUS. This is very bad for Malcolm’s mental health......God, the whump-whore in me hopes he has a major panic attack or something this season. 

23:23 - I love this scene. This is the papa!Gil content I’m here for. 

23:51 - JT expressing fear and concern for his unborn child makes my heart grow several sizes. Look at his puppy dog eyes here? Ugh. So precious. This whole JT arc is heartbreaking and beautiful. I love it.

24:15 - Sooooo JT knows about Jessica right? He’s a detective and a husband. He so knows. hahaha this is so cute. 

24:19 - Gil. You. Are. A. Liar......and you’ve been really grumpy this episode but I’m going to forgive you because I love you. 

24:28 - GIL. You’ve waited 20 years. How much longer can you wait for Jessica?!?!

24:35 - Maybe JT didn’t know? At least - not until Gil rambled on about waiting? JT looks like he just connected all the dots and he’s super uncomfortable.

24:43 -...... so she verbally attacks him all episode then drives him home and acts like she did toward Malcolm by mid-season 1? I’m getting whiplash. 

25:18 - This scene is so cute. They actually made the real life version of heart-eyes at each other. And Malcolm pours her a glass of water. Because 1) she’s driving and 2) she’s a recovering addict. He’s so casually respectful and I love it. 

25:28 - “Are you any different?” Ouch. Look at how hurt Malcolm is. :( Although, props to Dani for confronting him about it. Someone needed to and she’s being really calm and caring about it. 

26:10 - Dani’s little speech about being a black woman feels a little forced? Like the writers put it in so she doesn’t feel left out compared to JT? Idk, the whole thing just seemed not quite believable. Probably because when JT was racially profiled Dani - a black woman - pulled out her badge and all the white cops listened to her. It just doesn’t track. They wouldn’t have listened to her if they were racist and bold enough to attack JT in the first place.

26:47 - Anyone else think that all those lit candles are a fire hazard? Just me? Cool cool cool. 

 27:21 - Yo. This is stupid. I understand why this happened - because the plot needed it to happen. BUT WHY DID ALL THREE ARMED COPS LEAVE THREE UNARMED PEOPLE ALONE?!? And when does a team of 4 split into a group of 3 and 1??! It makes no logical sense (except for plot purposes).

28:03 - Creepy. 

28:30 - Oh. HELL no. This is absolute bs. My entire heart is breaking for JT.

29:05 - I really like how chill this Priest is. Like - he respects that Malcolm’s a disbeliever and he’s willing to talk to him without trying to convert him. 

29:55 - Listen to how upset JT sounds here!! :( :( :( My heart. :( 

30:08 - Ok so how did she end up tied in the closet and not murdered? 

30:40 - ....so did Jonah ruin that painting while Sister Agnes was in the closet or is the Sister just a moron who didn’t say anything about the guy ruining the painting?!?

30:50 - Sooooo Jonah is an “expert”. He taught Sister Agnes how to safely handle the lead-based paint. Yet - he didn’t use the protection? We saw him with a gas mask at the beginning of the episode? Did the sister not notice that he wasn’t using the protection? So much of this doesn’t track. Thankfully, I don’t watch this show for the “murder of the week” plot line.

31:30 - Malcolm is a good dude. Even now. He’s trying to help Jonah. <3 Heart of gold. 

32:25 - Martin - shut. up. 

32:45 - Friar Pete is a creepy treasure. I love him. 

33:24 - “Oh you’ve gotta be kidding.” hahaha I feel you Malcolm. I feel you. 

33:34 - Not gonna lie - when I watched this the first time all I could think is “How the eff does Malcolm remember everything Pete just said?” Maybe it’s just me but I would need Pete to go 1-2 words at a time. And slowly. ....maybe Malcolm took Latin in school? 

24:06 - Oh so all the killers this season are also going to accuse Malcolm of being a killer and/or evil. 

34:40 - Damn. I wish the team walked in right as Malcolm was screaming “the power of Christ compels you!!!”.

35:15 - I. Love. This. Gil screaming on the phone is everything. Him going to bat for JT is everything. Malcolm saying “This is bad”?!? *chef’s kiss*. ISTG Malcolm’s been scolded by Gil when Gil is that mad at some point during his teen years. 

35:53 - “I’ll take care of it.” JT. Is. My. Hero. What an absolute king. He’s going to take care of it, even though he’s terrified, because he needs to protect his family. Not just Tally and the baby. But little sister Dani too. <3 My heart is full. 

36:11 - ....okay so not to ruin a totally beautiful and profound scene but every time I’ve watched this scene JT doing that lean into the wall is very weird to me. Because he turns to face the camera. If he just slid down the wall or just leaned his head against the wall - it wouldn’t have felt so strange. It honestly distracts me from the scene. Every. Time. 

36:18 - This is hot garbage. I don’t even want to rewatch this scene because it makes me so upset. 

37:51 - I understand where Jessica is coming from but I also think she’s being a moron. I will say though, I respect the hell out of Gil for walking away when asked. A lot of men wouldn’t but he respects Jessica even if he doesn’t like what he’s hearing. So he left because she asked him to. 

39:00 - If this isn’t a red flag for Jessica about Ainsley’s mental health idk what is. 

39:25 - Poor Malcolm looks like he’s on the verge of tears here. :( I’m genuinely scared that Malcolm is becoming suicidal. He’s reaching the level of depressed and guilt where I think it’s a possibility. I genuinely think he’d rather kill himself to stop his guilt and suffering than to admit it to Gil, Jessica, JT, or Dani. ...for legal reasons he definitely can’t tell Gabrielle. 

40:00 - Sooooo Martin is finally suggesting that it was his idea to dispose of the body. I hope it’s the truth. 

40:05 - Martin is a piece of trash. He really needs to stop playing with Malcolm’s head. It’s literally killing Malcolm. 

40:50 - Oh. SHIT. Malcolm just clapped back hard. I am so so proud of him. ...also concerned about this deep anger in him though.

 41:46 - I swear - if we don’t get a Gil and Martin face-off when Martin breaks out, I will lose my mind. It’s one of the top things I want from this show. A Martin+Gil showdown. 

Ok. So I kind of loved this episode? Even though there were...many plot holes and things that annoyed me about it. Is it just me or has this season felt much darker than last season so far? It makes sense given last season’s finale but it’s still thrown me a bit. 

BUT I CAN NOT WAIT FOR 2x3. That promo. Ugh. <3 <3 We’re going to get traumatized teen!Malcolm content and I’m a sick bastard who is living for it. 

[amphii-writes]

Haikyuu boys as songs on my spotify playlists P. 5, (Other characters + girls)

Warning, songs contain talk about: violence, sex and drugs.

Yuji Terushima: Pussy Talk by City Girls (feat. Doja Cat)

You know damn well that Terushima-san is a fuckboy, not saying that's immediately horrible i'm just stating facts. He might look like he gets bitches but he's for sure a virgin. He likes any song that gives  him confidence, so when he hears pussy talk he goes all out, i mean this grown ass man dances.

Suguru Daisho: Molly by Mindless Self Indulgence

Was this one self indulgent? Yeah. Daisho-san gives me punk vibes and like,,, awooga. He for sure likes songs that get him pumped up before games and Molly is exactly the song to do that. Even with his breakup from Mika he seems to be insanely persistent and probably is one of those guys who unironically says “I still see her shadows in my room.” which pains me a bit to think about.

Kiyoomi Sakusa: Devil Town by Cavetown

Sakusa-san gives me a “divorced parents” vibe, and as someone who has divorced parents I will defend this on a hill and die for it. The song itself isn’t overwhelming, so I think he likes it because it's almost a calm pain to him. And, with my head cannon that he has divorced parents, it fits even better.

Shinsuke Kita: Saturn Suv by Fredo Disco

Sweet farmer boy needs sweet sonG- wow I haven’t expressed my love for Kita-san ever on this website and that thought physically pains me tbh. He’s so sweet, so that's why I picked this bittersweet bop for him. It’s chill and almost controlling like he is, but not a bad controlling, more of a “guys-please-my-mom-is-home” controlling. 10/10 would recommend this song.

Aran Ojiro: Washing Machine Heart by Mitsuki

You might be wondering why I picked such a song for Mr. Man himself, but hear me out: He likes sad songs. Just like I've mentioned with many other soft boys before, he enjoys listening to sad songs even when he's not sad which I respect because,,, same here dude.

ON that note, I chose the washing machine heart because of how adult it sounded. Not in the sexual sense, but just in the “grown-up heartbreak” sense.

Atsumu Miya: Asshole by Hooligan Chase

This physically pained me to find on my playlist and so I deleted it immediately after finding it. ‘Tsumu-san gives me massive cishet man energy and that isn’t exactly good to think about. He reminds me of a frat boy named Jake who’s favorite thing is to fuck the holes in the wall that he punched. Doesn’t mean I hate Atsumu-san though! Actually, I find him and his brother very relatable and enjoy how they fight because me and my siblings did that kinda thing.

Osamu Miya: Lotta True Crime by Penelope Scott

Anyways, ‘Samu-san here gives me the energy that he binges true crime shows often with the team, ‘Tsumu probably calls Osamu a serial killer and gross and well,,, everything else you can fill in. The song itself is bitter and sarcastic, just like he can be and personally I find it super catchy (well, I enjoy all of Penelope's songs) and sad. The image of Osamu-san listening to true crime podcasts while getting stoned in his later years brings tears of joy to my face.

Rintaro Suna: As The World Caves In by Matt Maltese

A sad song for a boy who for sure has at least some sort of mental illness (I say that as someone who has mental illnesses). I believe that Suna-san has depression due to how burnt out he constantly is. As someone who again loves sad songs, I feel like he would just constantly have one on in his headphones. Give this man some therapy and a break.

Korai Hoshiumi: Verbatim by Mother Mother

Lil man really whipped out the energy when we first met him- he low-key scared me because I saw him and thought that he’d be quiet and sweet but oh boy was I wrong. I was also a little stuck on a song for him so I had to consult the Hoshiumi kinnies and they came up with Verbatim, which is on my playlist. Thank you, Hoshiumi kinnies, thank you. If you are a Hoshiumi kinnie, you are iconic and i appreciate you!

Takanobu Aone: Mr. Loverman by Ricky Montgomery

Wow anyways this song makes my aone kinnie go brr. Like completely brr. Aone-san gives me a soft indie, hot cup of tea, sweaters, knitting, and baking vibes. You may see him as a scary giant but I see him as a very big polar bear who needs a hug! He probably relates to the song because of how everyone views him as the Iron Wall and not a person, just the longing to feel loved and appreciated by someone is the main reason he’d relate so much. I would also bake brownies with Aone-san any day.

Kenji Futakuchi: Hayloft by Mother Mother

Our edgy king here for sure is a bastard. He’s cocky, funny, and sly with his rude comments causing me to think of an intense song for him. Hayloft is also an absolute banger of a song, so it wouldn’t surprise me if he had it be Date Tech’s theme song for the time being. I think that he’d also go to mother mother concerts and just be so confused, like if he went to an american mother mother concert he’d be looking at everyone there and just “woah” you also can’t tell me he wouldn’t want an alt S.O.

Kanji Koganegawa: Pretty Rave Girl by S3RL

Wow, me and Koganegawa-san here seem to have the exact same taste in music! When I hear pretty rave girls I go ape. I mean I shake my hands in front of my face because of the happy simulation! It’s such a cute song and the crunch is sooo perfect. I can see Koganegawa being into hyperpop and hardcore music like sewerslvt and SugarCrash! Like tendou-san and lev-san. He for sure sings the song when he gets up in the morning and blasts it in his car! The cute wholesome love song makes his heart go brr, and mine does too!

Ittetsu Takaeda: Breezeblocks by Alt-J

Man would listen to this and go full English teacher like the nerd he is, but then again I don't blame him because I honestly do too! This song was an old hyper-fixation of mine and so when I think of Takaeda, I think of Breezeblocks. All the literary devices and how the song itself is formed to create the perfect horrifying story of murder and cleaning up the crime scene all while talking about their lover is bone-chilling and I think Takaeda-san understands how messed up the song is but just really enjoys the cover that the love aspect almost is. Like when I first listened to Breezeblocks I thought it was a song about a lover leaving the singer, not the singer killing someone(possibly his lover) and covering it up all while thinking about his S.O. dark but great song, 10/10 childhood would be ruined again.

Keishin Ukai: Scotty Doesn’t Know by Lustra

Ah yes, Ukai here is punk and we all know it; and as someone who sees Ukai and gets many mixed feelings, I say we talk about highschool ukai. He mentioned that he didn’t get good grades when he was younger. Keishin-san reminds me of someone who got high instead of doing schoolwork, which like same but bro c’mon you gotta balance the zoot. Keishin-san also reminds me of a crust punk in the sense of how he acts: he’s super cool and if you're wrong he isn’t afraid to tell you you're wrong. He also gives me the vibes that he’d call out TERF’s on the streets and save girls from being harassed/assaulted. An absolute king if I say so myself.

Saeko Tanaka: Girls In Bikinis by Poppy

Ah yes, a bicon in her full beauty! Saeko for sure would be one hell of a partier and she for sure has had some drunken kisses with cute girls. And, we have to remember she is a tanaka, ryunosuke is literally her brother. Of course, simp runs in their veins, and god, what I would do for her to just give me a thumbs up or any positive affirmation. Oh and she for sure kicks TERF’s in the shins with Ukai-san. Someone get her a monster and a crown because she’s the queen :)

Akiteru Tsukishima: Boys Will Be Bugs by Cavetown

As Akiteru-san here has struggled with self esteem before and not wanting to let people down, I saw BWBB and instantly understood why it stands out to me so much when I think about him. The song itself is about giving into harmful stereotypes because that's how the world and people see you. Boys are often seen as people who aren’t allowed to have feelings due to toxic masculinity and I think that the reason he lied to his brother could’ve been influenced by that.

Kiyoko Shimizu: Sweet Hibiscus Tea by Penelope Scott

Sweet hibiscus tea is one hell of a song for people who don’t feel like enough, and that's exactly how Kiyoko-san feels. I can see her for sure feeling like an outsider to her own life. So many people look up to her and she doesn’t know why, her low self-esteem is something that I've come to understand after watching Haikyuu. Give her some tanaka and she’ll be fine.

Hitoka Yachi: Oblivion by Grimes

Our favorite ball of anxiety for sure is scared about walking home, she has a great reason to be anyways! What’s scarier than being kidnapped? Nothing tbh, shits horrifying (I say as someone who was indeed almost kidnapped). Yachi always thinks that the worst will happen and prepares for it, but then again I can’t blame her.

[whatisgoingonpaul]

Guess who put themselves though lost boys: the tribe. Last night and craves death? That’s right me.

Ohhhh to see without my eyes would be glorious. It is the most dated thing I’ve seen in my life and not in a good way. I cant even remember half the charecters and am having to look at the wiki if that tells you anything.

So no spoiler warning because - seriously do not watch it.

So dated-

As a 2000s kid, early 2000s movies are not something I look back at fondly as ‘adult’ movies at that time is mainly party’s , big tittie , curse and crude humor. This movie so desperately wanted to get in the cool kids club aka Rated R so they said fuck 13 times in the opening scene alone. Also dated by the really really shitty editing, and the “OH DUDE WE CAN USE LIKE DIGITAL EFFECTS WHAT UPPP” and shakey camera work. Also half the people are dressed like the worst end of the 90s/ early 2000s with the spike hair and fuck boy attitude. Movies from the 80s in my mind, yea they are dated but if they don’t rely heavily on references, tech , or common practice at the time it doesn’t come across as dated.

Takes the basic aspects but makes them bad-

So they try to imitate like small basic things from the first movie which we take shots of the town.... which is a run down sushi place and some chubby kids and emos that’s your “strange” people guys. Also the main vampire takes a lot of David bullshit and they whoop occasionally because “that’s what the other guys did.” Edgar also rehashes a lot of what we know. Also there is a sex scene to cry little sister because “THEY HAD IT IN THE FIRST MOVIE TAKE PEOPLE SWEATING.” Except they could not afford to use the og song and it’s a cover that sounds... like something else again I get whiplash to the early 2000s please end me. There is also more shots of the ocean and random cuts then substance in the movie

Charecters-

Ohhhhh how forgettable. How forgettable. I had to look up the main charecters names. So everyone’s like a good mid 20s or they at least look like their slowly trucking along to being 30 that’s another thing about early 2000s movie “please believe this grown ass man is a teen.” Like the og movie, the actors were in their early 20s for the boys but you would still believe they were actually teens; there’s a age where you can still play a teen for a while. I say this as they are clearly all adults and yet nichole is a 17 year old GIRL! Who they have drink and seduce one charecter before genuinely having sex with another. 17. So our main characters are Chris(??) and Nichole EMERSON. Do they ever explain their parents or relationship to the name? NOPE. I implied maybe star and Micheal but they both look WAY to old to be their kids at least Chris unless he’s supposed to be like 19 even then I will laugh in your face. So Evan creepy desperate emo here to die except he almost does twice but he lives.... yay. Shane and his Tribe( I said it I said the thing!) also did I mention.... they aren’t bikers.... there surfers! (Who have bikes later in the film...) so in the opening scene he’s “Some jackass from Santa Carla” is this ever explained in the movie? No. If you read rein of the frogs like I had HE WAS A SURF NAZI WHO SURVIVED(well... in a way)It’s a shame because he was one of the few charecters I enjoyed.... and was kinda really cute. Long hair , bit of a beard, scruffy looking(I have a type ok-) so if you didn’t read the comic he doesn’t really get any explaination or reason but apparently he used to be a surfer , one of the best before he dodged. Ok? Apparently Emerson was to, ok? The others don’t really get much past the one being called a adrenaline junkie like he is. I like the crazy motherfucker. Something else I found absolutely hysterical is that the two main others are obessed with their cameras always filming mainly women and their game. Their game? To literally shank each other and jump around and laugh and record them gushing blood, a particular favorite scene of mine is at the party the tall black one, Erik??? I think stabs the best buddy and twists, this mf literally- his intensines fall out and his other organs “DUDE WHAT THE FUCK I WAS GONNA GET LAID DONT FILM ME-.” He picks them up off the ground and walks inside so nonshalantly- girls are screaming and panicking and the other two are laughing their asses off. Did I mention these vampires, young vampires at that as even Shane is like maybe only in his 40s/30s but looks a young 20, throw ragers? Because it’s 2008 babyyyy. Nicole is the usual “I want to see my hair flow in the wind and talk romantically about death.” Aka what Dracula Adaptations do to Lucy westenra to make her major vampire bait, and naturally Shane took it. The best charecter is probably Edgar as he was constistantly halarious though out the whole film until he started quipping. There was also a mid credit scene with SAM FUCKING EMERSON PLAID BY COREY I SHIT YOU NOT. He’s a vampire. Why? Something happened between them and it has to do with Alan to. This I need explained to me right fucking now. Oh wait no the best charecter is the guy dressed up as the oiled up sax player.

Vampire inconsistency-

So new info;

-doesn’t spesifically have to be a stake or wooden just in the heart.

Inconsistent-

Apparently garlic does work now boys, despite the fact that it was very clearly stated by Paul in the first film that it wouldn’t (Edgar was there for that you think he’d remember-) however Garlic bolo took my soul.

There’s inconsistency in how vampires look in this film alone contradicts itself. Like. So lost boys established the basics

Yellow eyes, long nails, fangs, bad breath , the face bone shift.

This one has a cheap supernatural lookin’ ass black eye effect and some fangs. Except when they don’t and it’s yellow eyes and fangs also with no facial effect except no it’s full facial makeup with black eyes and veins. Except no it’s full facial prosthetic more like the first film but with veins , black eyes , Dracula slit nose and SHARK TEETH(it really is like super natural vampires JFC.) like there is 4 different ways they look in this movie alone wtf. Also Shane, a full vampire; the head, can go outside at sundown/twilight if he has sunglasses. Good to know.

WHAT IS THISSSSS LMFAOOOOO

Also where does this movie even take place? As it is Damn well not Santa Carla and they make sure you know that.

Also we end on a “kids are doing drugs aren’t you” haha aunt so stupid joke. LAUGH.

Again seriously sams a vampire. Not explained but illuded to, Presumably edgars fault. Considering he is a grown ass man as well it was likely recent, probably tragic. You would think Sam would be just as angsty as his bro but no he’s all dark and angry and again did I mention it’s the ACTUAL FUCKING ACTOR?

[backtobackbakubabe]

I’m Gonna Make This Place Your Home (Part 3)

Bakugo x Reader

Words: 2896

*****************************************************************************************************

One night, a year or so ago Bakugo had gotten a little tipsy and decided it would be a great idea to take all of the batteries out of the smoke alarms. That way he wouldn't have to deal with them every time he thew a fit and his hands sparked up. So he was really surprised when he woke up one morning to one of them blaring. Kirishima must have replaced them.... damnit shitty hair. He groaned as he rolled out of bed, “What the fuck is going on?” 

He was absolutely exhausted. You had another nightmare last night and just like the last time you accidentally pulled him into it. He handn’t been able to sleep after that and he couldn't go to your room because then you would know he had seen it. He knew it wasn't his fault but it still felt like an invasion of your privacy. 

He strolled out of his bedroom in nothing but a pair of sweatpants and made his was to the source of his growing headache. He walked into the kitchen and there you were. You looked extremely confused and alarmed as smoke billowed from the toaster. You pulled the plug from the wall and huffed at the ruined toast. “Shit...”

He couldn’t help it. He started laughing harder than he had in years. 

You spun around, giving him a good look at the pancake mix in your hair, “OH! Bakugo I’m so sorry! I was trying to make you breakfast... but its definitely not as easy as you make it look...” You plopped down in one of the chairs and it wasnt until now that he realized you weren't wearing any pants. Just his oversized hoodie. He couldnt judge though he wasnt exactly wearing a shirt. A fact you were acutely aware of as you desperately tried to avoid staring at his perfect abs. 

You huffed again, “I ruined everything....”

He smirked, “Nah, theres nothing here that cant be fixed... well maybe not the toast. Thats a lost cause.” He held his hand out to you, “Ready for your first cooking lesson?”

He proceeded to flit around the kitchen like a true professional but he never took over. Instead he would just tell you what you needed to do. He wanted to make sure you were actually learning. He knew he couldnt take care of you forever. There were things you missed out on growing up and he was going to make sure you became a functioning adult. 

You guys sat at the table with the banquet of food around you. You beamed as you took your first bite, “This is actually good!”

He scoffed, “Excuse me? I helped you, of course it’s good...” 

You giggled, “Thanks for that by the way. I know it must be frustrating to teach a grown ass woman how to do basic things...”

“Okay first of all dont ever think that. Its not your fault you didnt get to learn this stuff. And second.... that is the second time you’ve used a curse word today. What gives? Am I rubbing off on you? You’ve only been here a week.” He wagged his eyebrows. 

You gave his shoulder a quick swat, “Maybe I swear like a sailor but I've been playing nice. You dont know me.”

He narrowed his eyes a bit, “You’re right. I dont. But I’d like to...” He bit into a piece of bacon and groaned, “I do know one thing though, you make some good ass bacon.”

He spent the rest of the day teaching you every day tasks from doing laundry to how to use the internet. You paid close attention and would periodically stop him to write something down so you wouldn’t forget.  He was currently showing you how to log in to Netflix when an idea hit him, “Oi! Do you know how to ride a bike?”  

You gave him a weird look, “I used to have one with training wheels when I was little but my mom never taught me how to ride one without them. I had wanted my dad to teach me but he died when I was little.” 

He sucked in a breath. He still hadn't told you about your mom. Did you know what she did to you? Did you know your mom sold you to the highest bidder? And your dad? He had no idea he had died.... was there anything about your childhood that was happy?  “I’m sorry to heat about your dad.” 

You just shrugged, “I was really little. My mom always said I was his little mini me. Said I looked just like him and had the heart to match. He was a really nice guy....” You expression grew sad, “Sometimes when I was younger after I had been taken by the villains... if I was having a really bad day I would pretend he was still alive. Because he never would have let them take me.” A single tear slid down your cheek but you caught it, “Look at me getting all emotional. No need to cry over something I cant change right?”

He took your hand in his and gave it the softest squeeze, “I’d say you’re entitled to a few tears. Given what you’ve been through, I don't know how you get out of bed some mornings.” Especially after the nightmares he’d witnessed first hand.

You sniffed back your tears as you returned a quick squeeze to his hand, “Easy. I have you.” 

He didnt know what to say. To the rest of the world he was Ground Zero, the temperamental, cocky hero. But you see so much more. You bring out the best in him and whether he likes it or not he's changing because of it. “Oi. Put some fucking pants on. You're going to learn how to ride a bike!” 

“....Do you even have a bike?”

No, he didnt. But Kirishima did. “You just worry about yourself, and let me figure out the bike situation. Alright?”

You scurried off to your room to change and get ready for the day. You pulled on a pair of leggings and a clean shirt. It may have been Bakugos but at this point you didnt think he’d mind. You threw your hair up in a ponytail and gave yourself a quick look in the mirror. You really needed a haircut. Even in a ponytail it was well down your back. There was a pair of scissors in the kitchen, maybe you could just cut it yourself. 

Thats how you ended up in the bathroom hair in one hand, scissors in the other. Right as you were about to make your first cut, someone cleared their throat behind you. “Oi! Crazy pants! Put the scissors down before you fuck your hair up. All I said was put on some pants not go full on Mulan...” He sighed, “There’s someone here I want you to meet. He can be pretty annoying but I promise he’s not that ba-”

“Hey who are you calling annoying you grump old man.” Kirishima looked at the scissors in you hand, “Oh cool. Giving yourself a haircut? I did that once when I was seven. Wasn't a good look. But I’m sure yours will look much better.” 

Bakugo was rubbing his temples in frustration, “Y/n this this is shitty hair, shitty hair this is y/n.” 

You gave him a soft giggle, “The fact that he calls you shitty hair makes me think I shouldn't listen to you.” You put the scissors down, “I do want to cut it though. It’s a pain in the ass.”

Bakugo scoffed, “You’re the pain in the ass, dont try and blame it on your hair. Although you do shed worse than any dog I’ve ever known. Your hair is all over the apartment.... Come here.” He turned you towards the mirror, “Alright look straight ahead and dont fucking move... how short do you want it?” 

You motioned to the tops of your shoulders, “Like around here maybe. I dont know what do you think shitty hair?” 

Kirishima chuckled, “You can call me Kirishima.” He shrugged, “I dont know anything about  hair.”

Bakugo huffed, “Yeah clearly, hence the name shitty hair.” He looked at you through the mirror, “I would go just a little longer.... like maybe here.” He motioned to a bit below you shoulder. His hand was rather close to your breasts and it made both of you blush. “I’ll see if I can get you an appointment somewhere soon. Until then what if I just braid it to get it out of the way?”

Your blush deepened, “Yeah that would be nice.” 

His fingers felt so good carding though your hair. You closed your eyes and had to fight back the urge to hum. You needed to pull it together. Bakugo was nice enough to let you into his life and has gone above and beyond to make sure you’re well taken care of and comfortable. You didn't need to fuck that up by having feelings for him. 

Your eyes jolted open when he cleared his throat behind you, “Uh...I’m done now.” Your eyed met his through the mirror and noticed his cheeks were almost as red as yours, “Ready to learn how to ride a bike?”

Kirishima caught Bakugo as you guys were leaving the apartment letting you go on ahead, “Dude? When the fuck did you learn how to braid hair? Who are you and what have you done with Bakugo?” 

Bakugo pulled his arm away from him, “Shut the fuck up and I swear if you tell anyone about it I’ll end you!” Bakugo hadn't been completely honest with his best friend about who you were or why you were living with him. He knew you were the girl from his dreams but he didnt know you had been a prisoner or that there was a small possibility you were being hunted. 

Kirishima raised his hands up in defense, “I’m just saying man you seem awfully invested in this girl. I mean she’s wearing your shirt! She’s obviously pretty and from what I can tell she seems nice and all but come on man you haven't been to work in over a week... The director says you either come in tomorrow or you’re fired....”

Bakugo growled, “As if he would actually have the balls to fire Ground Zero.” He took a few steps before stopping and running a hand through his hair, “Tell him I’ll be there tomorrow... I just need to tell y/n.”

Kirishima put his hand on his shoulder, “She’s a big girl Bakugo. I’m sure she’ll be fine without you for a few hours. Whats the worst that could happen?” 

Bakugo groaned, “I really wish you hand asked that. It’s like you’re trying to jinx us.”

When they got outside you were already sitting on the bike, rolling it back and forth looking like an excited child, “What took you guys so long?! Come on!” 

Kirishima rubbed the back of his neck, “So Y/n... how in the world did you make it this far in life without knowing how to ride a bike?” 

Before Bakugo could intercept the question you were shrugging it off, “Guess you could say I grew up sheltered. Now are we doing this or not?” 

A few minutes later Bakugo was behind you holding your waist and walking slowly as you got used to peddling the bike. 

He leaned in and whispered in your ear, “Let me know when you're ready for me to let go.” The combination of his strong hands on your waist and his warm breath on your neck... it was giving you goosebumps. 

You felt a chill run down your spine, “Bakugo dont you dare fucking let go. I thought this was going to be a lot easier!” 

He chuckled, “Don’t be stupid you’re doing fine! I won't let go until you’re ready.” 

You took a deep breath, “Okay I can do this.... It’s not a big deal. Children do this.... Bakugo I think I’m ready...”

“Well good because I already let go.” 

Your head swiveled back and forth incredulous that you had not noticed that he had let go. It was a terrible idea because as soon as you weren't one hundred percent focused on peddling you started to tilt. 

“Shit! Y/n!” Bakugo threw himself between you and the pavement just in time to catch you. “Watch it will yeah?” You landed on top of him your nose dangerously close to his.You could hear your heart pounding. You were close enough to smell his signature caramel sent and it made your mouth water. He brushed a hair out of your face. “Are you okay? You’re looking at me funny....” 

You blinked rapidly trying to wake yourself up from whatever daydream you were starting to have. “Yeah I’m fine... thanks.” 

He shrugged, “It was my fault for letting go. I won't do that again.” 

Your heart picked up the pace at his words. He obviously meant he wouldn't let go while you were riding the bike, but you desperately wished he meant something else. But he was Ground Zero. He was an attractive, successful Pro hero. You were probably nothing more than a wounded animal to him. He deserved someone with less baggage. 

You pushed yourself off of him, no longer in the mood to ride a bike. “I know this is silly... but I kind of want to go get coffee.” His caramel sent was still invading your senses and it made you crave your favorite beverage. You had tried different drinks through trail and error before you found what you liked and you named it the cinnamon roll latte. It was a vanilla latte with two pumps of caramel and cinnamon instead of sugar. It smelled just like someone you knew and it was absolutely delicious. 

Kirishima walked over and helped you two get up and picked up the bike, “Coffee sounds good. I have an overnight shift coming up tonight and I’m already dreading it.”

Bakugo dusted off his pants and nodded, “Yeah coffee sounds nice. Same place as usual?” 

You smiled, “Of course!” 

You guys had been back to the same coffee house over and over again and the bitchy barista always had something to say but you kept insisting to Bakugo it wasnt worth getting her in trouble.  

You practically skipped through the door into the coffee house and right up to the empty counter. The barista gave you a bored look, “Let me guess, the usual?”

You nodded, “Yup! Him as well. He wants to try it!” You pointed at Bakugo behind you who was already taking out his wallet to pay. You needed to try and find a job soon. You couldn't mooch off of him forever. You saw a sign next to the register that said they were hiring. You knew if you brought it up Bakugo would insist it wasn't necessary, so you would just come back tomorrow when he went to work. You refused to be a burden on anyone. 

The barista who's name you had found out was Tasha rolled her eyes, “I see you finally found some clothes of your own. 

Bakugo put his arm around your shoulders, “Actually the shirts mine but it looks way better on her doesn't it?” He winked at you before retiring his attention to Tasha who’s mouth was hanging open. Bakugo narrowed his eyes at her, “I said doesn't it?” 

She handed back his credit card with a quick nod, “Yes. I’m sorry it looks great on you.” 

When you had found a booth to sit at you turned to him and slapped his shoulder, “Bakugo you have got to stop bullying the barista!” 

His eyes about popped out of their sockets, “Are you kidding me?! She's the one who always has to say some shit about you every other time we come here!” 

You sighed, “So? Let her be the source of her own misery. You dont need to stoop to her level. You’re better than that.” 

He huffed and fiddled with the napkin dispenser on the table, “Yeah whatever you say....” 

Kirishima looked back and forth between the two of you, “What..... the actual fuck? She just scolded you and you’re.... you’re okay with it?” 

Bakugo shrugged, “She’s right... there’s no point in bickering with people who aren't worth it.” 

You smiled as you leaned up and kissed his cheek. It was a bold move, but it was something you had wanted to do for a while now. 

He gave you an incredulous look and narrowed his eyes, “What the fuck was that for.” 

Tasha cleared her throat behind him, “Here’s the coffees you guys ordered. Have a great day.” 

Bakugo waited for her to be out of earshot before he belted out a laugh, “Oi! Here you are acting all high and mighty talking about being the bigger person and then you go and try to make the barista jealous? You're sneaky.” 

He took a sip of his coffee while you just giggled. He didnt need to know that you had no idea Tasha had been standing there. He didnt need to know that you had kissed his cheek because you wanted to. You looked up and mer Kirishima’s eyes. He smirked at you, “Well aren't you two just adorable?” 

********************

Taglist : @carolinawindsay​ @fukyouthink​ @targaryens-blog​

[atreya300]

Slenderman and Creating Real Tulpas

I remember a couple of years ago finding out about Slenderman.  It was so creepy that I looked into it a lot, especially when I heard the theory about Slenderman being a Tulpa.  As if he wasn’t creepy enough just by being a made up story on the Internet, kids were killing other kids, or stabbing other kids, in order to “please Slenderman”.  Clearly a game that they had invented and taken deadly seriously.

A Tulpa is an intended hallucination which can be sentient and have its own thoughts and personality.  It is (according to the Tulpa Community, but not, I may add, folkloric legend) only seen by the person who created it, who has done so by prolonged periods of thinking solely about what the tulpa looks like, talks like, moves like etc, thus developing, in essence, another person who is sharing their body and mind, but functions as a separate personality.  We know of lucid dreaming, as I have often done it myself.  We’re aware that our brains are more than capable of producing extremely real and vivid hallucinations.  

So is it entirely impossible that if enough people all put enough thought power into the creation of the same, singular individual, that a tulpa could be formed which could break free of the constraints of individual minds and be a person all of its own, with its own free will and the power to manipulate others?  I believe it is possible.  Call me crazy.  My tin foil hat is firmly in place.  It’s hilarious really when you consider that I laughed down the Flat Earthers, yet here I am saying that it’s possible to create an imaginary friend who can turn into a mind-bending, master manipulator.

I didn’t have many friends growing up.  So I was one of the kids who didn’t mind admitting that I had invented an imaginary friend.  His name was Bill and he was based off of Bill from ‘Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure’ because I was obsessed with that movie.  I would talk to him whilst walking home from school alone, ask him what he would do in my place during different situations that I was struggling with and he always had an answer that I imagined.  I would say, “Bill, do you think [insert boyfriend name here] is a dick?” and in my head he would instantly say, “Hell yeah he is, you need to dump his ass!”.  Of course, I never once thought that I had created another person.  It was my imaginary friend.  In my head.  Made up by me.  Well, me and Alex Winter.  His instant “responses” was just my own subconscious mind telling me what I really, truly felt, without having to consciously think about it.

Having perused the Tulpa Community it seems to be an extremely dangerous rabbit hole.  For one, what they are describing as “tulpas”, at best, mostly seem to be an adult version of an imaginary friend and at worst, a real mental health issue, possibly Dissociative Identity Disorder which is incredibly serious and is being passed off as something that is perfectly normal and almost a uncommon achievement to be able to create a tulpa, rather than the reality which is that there is real medical and psychological help out there for cases such as DID and it should certainly not be explained away as a deliberately induced imaginary friend who will solve all your problems for you.  Passing it off as such could potentially make the case even worse.  I’m not a psychologist.  I’m just using common sense. If you cultivate something, it grows.

So.  I have made a decision that I don’t buy into the Tulpa Community.  There are also a lot of comments on YouTube videos and forums that are quite blatantly people who are full of absolute shit and others who are just clearly attention seeking.  I thoroughly enjoyed the brilliant sarcastic responses to those comments.

Now let’s get serious (ish).  Bear with me.  Let’s get back to the theory of many people being able to collectively produce a tulpa.

As I said before, I became obsessed with Slenderman.  I watched videos (all of Marble Hornets), read newspaper articles, looked at pictures, read stories, until he became my every waking thought.  After a week and a half I developed sensations such as paranoia, racing heart, dizziness and the feeling of constantly being watched by something just out of the corner of my eye.  I began having horrific nightmares and would wake up drenched in sweat.  I stopped being able to lucid dream and wake myself up and was forced to play out the nightmares, helpless.  It got to the point where I didn’t want to sleep.  The times that my boyfriend had blessedly snored loudly enough to wake my conscious brain, I sat up in bed, exhausted, trying desperately to keep my eyes open and not fall back to sleep.  Every shadow in the bedroom seemed to resemble Slenderman and I was convinced that as soon as the lights got dim or it was dark, he was there in the shadows waiting.  I stopped going to bed before my boyfriend.  I didn’t want to be in the house alone.

Looking back, naturally it all seems totally stupid.  Me, a grown 35 year old, scaring myself silly because of a kids’ story on the internet.  But what if it really is possible to create a tulpa by using enough collective subconscious power?  Thousands of people in the world at the time were reading those same stories and scaring themselves silly like I was.  If it was possible to create a tulpa, Slenderman and his fame would most certainly warrant it.

For anyone who isn’t familiar with the 80’s movie ‘A Nightmare on Elm Street’, the main bad guy/killer is Freddy Kruger, a demon (who was a bloke who killed kids and then got burned in a fire by their fucked-off parents, then he came back from the dead in peoples’ dreams, as a...you know what, I don’t fucking actually really know what kind of thing Freddy is) who kills people in their dreams.  Enough people get to know about him and he suddenly can break free of only being in their dreams and can exist in the real world, killing whomever he chooses in reality.  Freddy, is a tulpa.  He existed in reality, purely because all the kids talked about him, described him to each other, then dreamed about him, which cemented him more in their brains, until he became a reality.  By what was, if I remember correctly, the 407th film featuring Freddy, ‘Freddy vs Jason’ the townsfolk had worked out that the only way to defeat Freddy, was to pretend he didn’t exist.  No one was allowed to talk about him, no one could mention his name, and anyone who dreamed about him was given dream suppression pills so they ceased dreaming altogether (boy didn’t I crave Hypnocil during my Slenderman nights).  In this way, Freddy became weak and the town was safe (for a while - Stage Right - freaky hockey-mask-wearing-dude-with-mommy-issues).

My point is that from my personal point of view, the Tulpa Community are people who have really good imaginations, like myself and are doing nothing more than imagining another person.  They are not “creating” a tulpa.  Not in the sense that I think they think they are anyway.  I sort of feel like a tulpa is akin to a golem who is created to protect someone or something and is capable of physical destruction in the real world.

I digress.  Touching on Slendy for the podcast is something I’ve wanted to do for a while now, but I’ve hummed and hawed because, let’s face it, I’m scared.  Slenderman did become a bit too real for me, even if it was in my head and my mind playing tricks on me, but it put me through sheer terror, I was legitimately scared of my own shadow so opening this can of worms is a big deal for me, even if it seems utterly stupid for a grown woman to feel that way.  If two young girls can pretend that killing their friend as a “sacrifice to Slenderman” is real, then who’s to say if enough people genuinely hallucinated Slendy and his creepy, murderous personality, that other people could not be compelled to kill?  He would become his own person. I’m a tin-foil hat wearing silly girl who believes a lot of ridiculous things (except Flat Earth, you guys are wrong - just saying), but from a mass hallucination point of view, I do genuinely think this could be plausible.  And by delving back into this research, not only am I opening up the likelihood of scaring myself silly, into seeing shit that isn’t there, I would also have to be held (partially) responsible for creating the master Slenderman that wipes out the world by making people kill each other.  Hmph.  And Ted Bundy thought he had some great ideas.

Also, “Tulpamancy” is a thing.  Although not according to the Tibetians, where the tulpa originated.  Funny that.  Almost as if it’s a made up word.  (It is.  By the Tulpa Community.)

As for the pretend “Tulpa Community”?  Some of these people envision their tulpas as characters from ‘My Little Pony’.  Make of that what you will.  I wouldn’t personally be taking career and life advice off of a fucking horse.  All I’m saying.

[awrestlinggirlwholoves80sbands]

Mötley Crüe Christmas Imagines

A/N: Guess who decided to post a Christmas fic when Christmas is over? Me! ( I just hope they don’t suck, lol)

Vince

“I can’t believe you did all this, for me!” You said as soon as entering your house.

Every Christmas decoration was already set up: the Christmas tree looked beautiful with all the colorful lights and the golden balls. Also a wonderful breakfast was placed on the kitchen table. Your boyfriend Vince shrugged his shoulder ( like it was not that big of a deal), then he smiled, not with his usual charming smirk but with a genuine smile.

“Well I know that you’d be tired from your night shift, and well Christmas is a stressful period, so I wanted to help !” He said opening his arms, waiting for you to come.

It’d always blow your mind how the Vince you knew was so different from the one that the rest of the world was used to know. He was kind, generous and sweet, other than like a sex machine; surely you two weren’t saints, but he could be also romantic. Many people didn’t get that, and that’s why a first they tried to convince you to not date him, but you were glad that you didn’t listen to them, you ended up with the sweetest boyfriend ever.

You crashed in his arms and he picked you up, bridal style, then he placed you on the couch. You two kissed passionately but, when you tried to spice things up, you noticed two mugs of hot chocolate; you started to smile widely since you loved drinking white hot chocolate at Christmas.

“How do you know that I loved white chocolate specifically?”

“Well… your mother could have told me that the last time we visited your parents.”

“You’re the best boyfriend in the world !” You affirmed happily.

“Well my love, I think we should eat something and then you go right to sleep !” He stated serious.

“But it’s Christmas Eve !” You protested like a baby.

“Yeah and I need you to be awake tonight for opening your present !”

“ You mean my presents.”

“Yep those, too !” He said with a malicious smirk.

You punched him playfully then you went to grab the trays on the table and bring them in the living room. Vince already put the TV on a stupid Christmas movie, while you went to his side and you two started cuddling.

When you turned your gaze towards the window, you noticed that everything was white. Was it really snowing or you were just dreaming?

“Vinnie, it’s snowing outside !” You said excited as a little baby.

“Well we better go to see it, then!” He replied and picked you up, walking towards the door. You tried to fight while laughing, but his grip was strong.

When he arrived in front of it, he simply stopped, turned you to face him and place a soft kiss on your lips.

“Later we will do a snow balls battle. If you win, you can make me do whatever you want for the night, if I do, I decide!” You decided.

“If you want to do dirty things to me, you can just ask.” He replied with a malicious smirk.

“ Nice try baby, but I really want to see that film, now!”

Both of you sat on the couch again, Vince embraced sweetly while he played softly with your hair. You closed your eyes, enjoying the feeling.

Everything seemed so perfect, almost a Christmas miracle.

Nikki

You opened your eyes, your heart still pounding in your chest as you went to turn at the other side of the bed. There was nobody.

You started panicking, rushing to the kitchen as soon as you could. Today was Christmas, and you were well aware what happened one year ago to this very day : your boyfriend Nikki overdosed, died and was brought back to life; also you had just dreamed about losing him again, waking up only to find and empty bed and it seemed like your nightmare had become reality.

But as soon as you entered into the kitchen, you could hear some soft noises. Nikki was kneeled on the floor, searching into some cupboards something that you didn’t know for sure.

“A-Are you okay Nik?” You asked worried, and your boyfriend turned in your direction. He had to see the concern written on your face, because he rushed to your side, crushing you in a hug.

“Is there something wrong, babe?”

"I-It's s-silly don't worry about it!" You dismissed it.

You didn't want to admit that you were scared to lose him again. It was supposed to be an happy day and you didn't want to bring the mood down.

"Nothing about you is silly, you can talk to me !"

"I- I woke up and you weren't there. S-So I-I thought that you were gone, again. Like last year." You whispered the last part, too scared that if you said that out loud, it'd be reality.

Nikki pulled you to him even tightly, as he started to whisper sweet nothing into your ears.

"I'm so sorry honey ! I woke up early and I wanted to surprise you but I couldn't find a thing. I didn't mean to scare you !" He said sadly, as he started to rub some circles on your back to calm you down.

"It's okay Nikki! You're so thoughtful. It was just a stupid fear, you are here now!" You said like it was still hard to believe it.

"I'm so sorry to have put you in so much pain. Wanna set up the last decoration while I cook some eggnog and we play some dumb board games?"

You nodded weekly than started to heading towards some boxes put in a corner : you could see a mistletoe, a little hanging Santa and a picture with written :" Merry Fucking Christmas"

You laughed a bit and put them as quickly as you could; then you rushed into the kitchen and hugged koala style your boyfriend.

“Here's your eggnog, my love!"

"You're my best present ever. I don't what to think what I'd have done if I had lost you that night!"

"But you didn't and now I'm too grateful for this second chance to waste it. And you won't get rid of me that easily, this time!" Nikki kissed you with so much love, then you two sat on the kitchen's counter, drinking you eggnog and enjoying each other's company.

Nikki was there and he was okay. And that was what mattered.

Tommy

You were well aware that Tommy was a child, but you never thought that he’d asked you to buy him a kid’s toy.

“Tommy, you’re an adult, do you understand it?” You said exasperated.

“C’mon baby, I want it and it’s Christmas !” He protested, whining.

“It’s a little robot! I doubt you’ll play with it much with the tour and all of that.”

“ Sweet pie I promise you that I’ll use it. And it’s a bomb ass robot, who cares if it’s meant for children ! I’m a kid at heart.” He tried to convince you again.

“First of all don’t “sweet pie” me. Then I can guarantee you that you won’t use it and either I have to play with it or it’ll rust in a corner. Even worse, you can just break him in two days, because you are were drunk!” You were not angry, and Tommy knew it, but also you tried to be the adult of the situation ( failing a bit).

“Yeah whatever, now I have to go to rehearsal. I guess I’ll come home and I’ll be sad and disappointed, at Christmas, the most joyful time of the year !” He said dramatically, hoping to convince you (and damn it was working); then he simply left you there in the store, your eyes fixed on the robot.

You rational part was trying to convince you that it was a stupid and quite useless idea, but your heart was totally crazy for that childish drummer, so you sighed in defeat and  decided to buy it. Even if you surrender at the idea to gave the toy to Tommy as his Christmas present, you wanted to prank him a bit, so you decided also to buy an ugly Christmas sweater.

When you heard Tommy entering through the door, you had been in the house for 10 minutes already so you put your present under the tree and went to put up the last decorations.

“How did rehearsal go?” You asked smiling.

“Good, my love. This album will be so awesome !” Then he turned his gaze to the Christmas tree. "Is it my gift?" He said pointing something under the tree.

"Yup! You can open it now if you want to." You said nonchalantly.

He bolted towards his present, excited as a kid, and opened it : his happy face turned into a disappointed one, pretty soon. He totally had to see the sweater.

“I-It’s r-really b-beautiful, my love.” He said, trying to be as polite as possible. You wanted to play along for a bit more but you couldn’t keep your laughter any longer.

“I’m so sorry love, but the look on your face is too funny! I couldn’t resist it! The real gift is behind the tree.” You admitted, continuing to laughing, your cheeks becoming red as a tomato.

Tommy flipped you off, then he went to grab the mysterious hidden box. If he wanted to be pissed off with you, as soon as he saw the robot, he totally changed his attitude and a wide smile appeared on his face.

“ Thank you, Y/N ! Dude, it’s awesome I thought you didn’t want to buy it !”

“Well, I guess that I’m that of a sucker for you !” You answered back, your heart full of joy because of your boyfriend’s happy face. Tommy hugged you so tight that you almost suffocated, then he lifted you and made you spin.

“I love you so much Y/N!”

“I love you too Tommy. Only you could make me buy a children’s toy as a grown man’s Christmas present.

Mick

“Wow, you really went overboard with decorations, didn’t you?” Your boyfriend Mick said, raising an eyebrow as he was looking in the chart. You two were at the mall, trying to find the last Christmas decoration to put into your house.

“This is what people do at Christmas, Mick !” You said, rolling your eyes.

You were not a holidays fanatic, but also you really enjoyed being in the festivity mood. On the other hand, Mick was really not that into Christmas and just found all the decoration, the presents and the big amount of food, totally excessive and unnecessary.

“Then people should calm the fuck down!”

You looked at him with a fake pouty face. You were a bit upset by Mick’s attitude, but you also know that his grumpy façade would eventually fall off, with some puppy eyes and sweet kisses; and you also love him for his being an “old man”, even tho you were just two years younger than him.

“You totally upset me now! You just ruined Christmas !” You said dramatically, trying to get a bit on his nerves.

“C’mon Y/N don’t be that dramatic! I admit that there are not that many decorations. For a Christmas addict.” He stated, smirking.

“What did you just say?” You replied horrified.

“Well we can’t deny that!”

“ Okay old man, now I AM going  to buy some more decoration, while you buy some like Halloween stuff or I don’t know!” You tried to sound angry.

In reality you were a bit disappointed with his behavior, because Christmas has always been that time of the year where you could feel like a child again, trying to forget all the responsibilities of an adult and just enjoy silly Holidays music and decorations. But also you knew that he didn’t really mean it, and that you should be upset, he just do that. You know the real Mick, the sweet and caring one that he only showed to you; maybe you should just wait to let things cool down and then come back and explain your reasons.

You decided to do it, and after five minutes and two new Christmas balls ( they were too cute, not to be bought) you reach your boyfriend looking at some random trees. As soon as he saw you, he pull out a fake mistletoe and raise it on both of your heads.

“What’s happening?” You asked, confused.

“ Usually people kiss under this thing.” He replied unfazed.

“Is this a subtle way for asking for a kiss?” You said, with a laugh.

“It’s a way to say that maybe you’re not that much of a Christmas addict. And maybe that I should just be less angry about it.”

“Aww, it’s okay. I kinda love when you act like the Grinch; but I think I also should just told you that Christmas means much to me, and not act like an offended baby. Now we should really kiss under this mistletoe!”

You two shared a softy and quick kiss, not wanting to show off in public.

“ I think it’s better if we go home to put this decorations up!” You said, a bit excited.

“At Halloween I’m going to choose what to put up in our house.” He decided with a serious tone.

“Yes sir.” You declared, playfully.