#it’s also been a year since I’ve made an ao3 account that I have yet to post but maybe when I start to feel brave abt it

[synapticconstruction]

1 year since Will posted a part to his Let’s Play

[doumadono]

ANNOUNCEMENT

This is a turning point for me. I've been silent for too long, but I can't stay quiet anymore.

I'm going through writer's burnout, and it has hit me hard. I've been writing on Tumblr and Ao3 for nearly eight years now (with about 1.5 years on my private blog, doumadono). Over that time, I've written more than 400 stories across various fandoms, created the Sinful Sunday event and a series that many people like, helped many with numerous emergency requests — so many that one masterlist wasn't enough to cover them all.

But all of this has brought me to a place where writing no longer feels like a joy, but rather a duty. In my effort to make everyone happy, I lost myself and took on too much, accepting even the most twisted and difficult requests. It made me anxious and unwell whenever I thought about writing. This is why I haven't been posting much these past few weeks. I missed the breaking point and let myself reach a place where I was seriously considering quitting writing altogether and closing both my Tumblr and Ao3 accounts.

There's something else I need to address. I feel completely detached from Jujutsu Kaisen and Demon Slayer. I no longer feel comfortable writing for those fandoms. From now on, I'll be focusing mostly on My Hero Academia. Even though the manga recently ended, both the manga and the anime hold a special place in my heart. I’ve fallen in love with the story and its amazing characters. This is what feels right to me at this moment. That doesn't mean I'll never write for Demon Slayer or other fandoms again, but not now, not at this time. Maybe in the future — who knows?

Some of you might know that I've been dealing with a flood of hateful anonymous messages. Even though I’ve grown stronger and no longer consider them relevant, it still hurts to read such nasty words. This is another factor why I need to take a break.

So, what's going to change?

Sinful Sunday will no longer cover requests, and the event won't be as regular as it used to be. From now on, I'll post some sinful pieces specifically written for this event whenever I feel it's right. I'll write only for the characters I feel attached too.

Emergency requests will be limited to two slots and will no longer have a 48-hour window to be fulfilled. Once both slots are taken, emergency requests will be closed until I manage to clear the current asks in my inbox.

As of today, my ask box has been completely cleared. I won't be replying to any past asks, regardless of their origin or topic.

Commissions will remain open, as nearly all the requests have been fulfilled.

Regarding the following projects:

The Kvitravn series will be completed this year, but I can't provide a specific date just yet as I'm still working hard to bring everything together.

There's also a new series on the horizon featuring Dabi in the lead role, with a psychiatrist!Reader as the other main character.

As for Kinktober, I made a hard decision it will not be held as an event on my blog this year at all.

As of now, I want to focus on my own little My Hero Academia based AU that I created with my best friend @crystalwolfblog , and this is something that brings me a lot of comfort nowadays, and it's what I want to focus on. I’ll likely create another blog to post everything related to this AU, to keep things organized (the blog will be linked to my pinned post). This little AU was and is my safe haven for the past year and half, and since it contains all of my favourite characters, I want to focus on it fully.

The time for purification has come. I need to rediscover my purpose and find joy in writing again. To those who understand and have stuck with me since the ThePaperPanda days — you’re amazing and adorable, and I can never express how much I appreciate you, guys 💞

I want to share one last thought. This isn’t a statement, but rather a plea to readers: please respect writers, no matter the content they choose to explore. Writing is not as easy as it may seem; it requires a significant amount of time and effort, often taking up our personal time to craft a story. Don't send anon hate. Spread love instead! The least you can do to show your appreciation is to leave a comment, even if it’s just a word or two. For you, it’s a small gesture that takes less than a minute, but for the writer on the other side, it may be a much-needed sign that their work is meaningful. So if you enjoy an author’s work, don’t hesitate to leave a comment. It truly makes us writers feel like we’re on cloud nine.

Love you all, Marcianna

[marengogo]

Are You Sure?! - #1: A Vampire’s Utopia

Who by Jimin focused playlist 

[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]

–🐺–🐺–🐺–

Hello my JM & JK Loving Gurls, Bois and Enbys! 

How have we all been since Thursday? 😌 Who’s watched both episodes at least 3 times? 🤡 Who’s gonna keep watching the episodes until Thursday? 💜 Who’s been left marvelling, yet again, about how intricately beautiful human beings are 🙋🏾‍♀️…

Oh! Only me?! 👀.

... Well what can I say? If it weren’t for my undying love for movies I would have definitely chosen a job related to psychology. Now whether I would have turned out to be a help or a menace to society, is anyone’s guess, after all, there is no sense, or point, in speculating things that have no way of presently happening due to decisions made in the past. However, do y'all know what we can speculate on? The present based on actions that actually happened in the past.

I’ve admittedly rewatched both episodes of AYS for the fourth time yesterday for research purposes obviously, and what brings me here is that now very infamous moment there are presently ao3 books being written on this particular moment ? The one when my cutie-patootie twin-flame very concisely summarises his and JM’s “solo/chapter 2 relationship”, up to that point (which to be precise, is the period of time between 14 July 2022: Hobi’s Listening Party and 13 July 2023: AYS in USA… exactly 1 year: DAMN!) as per below:

First time I saw this part, the first thing I did was snort and then I immediately thought: DRAMA QUEEN and trust me, I would know. Oh, and let it be clear, I can only attempt to speculate on my twin-flame, especially in cases like this when I strongly feel that my boi has been … misunderstood. If it weren’t clear enough from the title, this is indeed a JK post you know JM-blood thirsting vampire etc etc etc.

Let's start with the fact that I beleive that JM was simply trying to start a simple bit of banter when he said:

And I would sincerely like to apologise to JM cause, indeed, this simple type of banter would have warranted a just as simple type of reply. Something like what JK eventually ended up saying after he allowed his thoughts to come forth and take the stage, but we will address this in a second:

But no.

You see, homeboi over here seems to be the type to hold on to things and will not let go until he’s cleared things, or situations, in the way he has known and/or perceived them to have happened, which tend to happen a lot when you are a very emotional person, who isn’t necessarily as eloquent. The most important thing to understand here, however, is the fact that whatever topic such people decide to discuss is all according to their most sensible account of facts and perceptions. They don't mean to offend or distort truths, they just ... emote for lack of better words. For example, it is a fact that, during that period, JK & JM were both busy, it is apparently also a fact that JK didn’t call, but according to JM it is not a fact that he himself didn’t call. 

Does that make JK a liar? In my opinion, not only can't I know what actually happened, but in fact, that is absolutely not the point of the case at hand. The way I see it, this is simply how JK has perceived this particular absence in his life, during that particular period. In fact, let’s dive even deeper.

Because of those two sentences, you’d I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT MANY DO ... think that JM and JK actually never met each other during that particular period of time 14 July 2022 - 13 July 2023. Now, I am sure we all remember him sorta/kinda pining on weverse during the period from 3 February 2023 and 14 March 2023, right?:

But let’s quickly look at a timeline of the 14 July 2022: Hobi’s Listening Party and 13 July 2023: AYS in USA period. Below are dates when they definitely met, with other members, that we are aware of. I’ve also inserted his most relevant weverse pinings, and the period of time they were busy at the same time, just for me to have a time reference:

・14 JULY 2022: J-HOPE’S LISTENING PARTY - OT6 (Yoongi was sick)

・1 SEPTEMBER 2022: JUNGKOOK BIRTHDAY - JM waint with Hobi to celebrate his birthday

・15 OCTOBER 2022 - BUSAN CONCERT - OT7

・12 DECEMBER 2022 - JIN’S ENLISTMENT SEND-OFF - OT7 

・most likely FEBRUARY-MARCH 2023 - LIKE CRAZY DANCE PRACTICE - JK went to see JM practice

 3 Feb 2023 - 14 Mar 2023 ——— LIGHT WEVERSE PINING - The above collage period

・25 MARCH 2023 - MEMBERS MEET WITH JIN DURING HIS HOLIDAY - OT7

27 March 2023 ——— HEAVY WEVERSE PINING - JK posting “I miss you”, then watching Suchita and reacting to JM content.

・18 APRIL 2023 - HOBI’S ENLISTMENT SEND-OFF - OT7

April - May ——— both JK & JM are travelling around the world for work and/or pleasure.

・25 JUNE 2023 - D-DAY in SEOUL ‘DAY 2’ - VMINKOOK at Yoongi’s concert 

・13 JULY 2023 - AYS in NYC - JK & JM (and staff) have dinner at ANTOYA 

… If you asked me, it would appear that JK’s issue is actually the fact that they didn’t get a chance to go out alone, just the two of them. Yeah … My twin-flame seems to always have had strong, almost impulsive, reactions when it comes to anything concerning JM, it is actually probably the most vocal he becomes for a non-talkative guy that is.

Can you recall any other member, other than JM, he was ever upset about because he didn’t get to hear their music? Can you think about any other member other than JM, who JK would most likely be spending time rehearsing, eating, doing nothing during band activities? Can you think of any other member other than JM, for whom he’s made a bit more of an effort during birthdays and special dates? Once again ... If you ask me ... JK truly values his time alone with JM, which is why I think his perception felt so fatalistic/dramatic we all know that for example, JM did go to the Golden Listening Party in October ... 

And don’t get me wrong, I definitely don’t believe it to be a one-way affair. Are You Sure?! exist exactly because JM would seem to also appreciate his alone time with JK, be it in front of a camera, in a hotel room, or whreever. After all, they were supposed to only go for one trip, but not only did they magically whip out time to go on two more Jeju and Sapporo, but they are now talking about doing this until they are 50. LOL I’ll be in my 60s but I’ll tune in! . And then, to top it all off … They ended up enlisting together. The way JM wanted to “make a video of their adventures and freedom” before enlistment, you’d think they’d be apart for the following 18 months because of said enlistment 😒.  

It’s actually quite funny if you think about it. Between the two of them JM is most definitely the shiest, but JM is most definitely the better one at expressing himself. Y’all can obviously disagree with me, but from where I stand, my twin-flame is actually smart as hell one day people will finally acknowledge that, but he is not the best with words. I’m sure in JK’s Utopia, the world is a place where people sing to each other in order to communicate, instead of spoken words. Alas, this is not JM-blood thirsting Vampire Utopia, and in the world where we presently live, JK seems to be the type who’s first reaction to stressful situations is finding the funny side of things and when that fails then he needs to do something about it; anything.

Now, as always, everyone is entitled to their opinions, in fact, many have made it very clear that to them JK was feeling “off” in these episodes, but to me, not only he was being his typical weird self, but I also I discovered a few new aspects, for example, when he truly cares about something, his devotion has really no limits. But let me use some images, and some words, to better explain how I perceived JK in these two episodes. Remember how JK once substituted the word Love with Jimin, in a Boy with Luv lyric Jimin nothing stronger? Well I’d like to do the same thing and sub the word Love with JK in the following very famous biblical paragraph and associate specific moments in both episodes to each line:

JK is patient, 

If this is not the testament sequence of a man who’s been waiting to spend time with you, no matter what, then I don’t know what else is.

JK is kind.

He does not envy, he does not boast, he is not proud.  

He does not dishonor others, he is not self-seeking, 

LOL … one day JK will be able to pull a prank on JM; I believe in you.

He is not easily angered, he keeps no record of wrongs.

I shouldn’t have to say this, but ... there are no “wrongs” done between JM & JK, what they do with each other is joke, have accidents and play around - but gotta say this just in case!

Last but not least, though JK was coughing like there was no tomorrow, wouldn’t you think that JM being vehemently sick, would be grounds for the whole show to be cancelled? In fact, we didn’t even know there was going to be a show, so nobody would have missed anything and at some point they could have used the footage in a bangtan-bomb, or during Festa, or something. … The fact that they were willing to keep going and even show us themselves in such a vulnerable state, the fact that because of it JM was so worried and doubting almost everything, and the fact that JK ultimately wasn’t worried and regretted nothing, kinda reinforced for me just how much they truly wanted to be together on that trip at that time it was basically overdue. 

In conclusion, though my Twin-flame’s strongest suit isn’t communication, and his recollection of events may or may not be as accurate due to emotional perception, his heart is ALWAYS in the right place, sturdy, confident and ready to let JK be the best he can be, at all times. I mean, you don’t have to take my word for anything I've just said but below is JK a mere 10 days after they separated from NYC/Connecticut ... look at him ... giddy AF and hella playful if you ask me and once again … weverse pining.

I guess one alone trip wasn’t enough after all 😉.

Always respectfully yours 🫰🏾💜,

Marengo.

[fiercynn]

on otw's $2.5 million budget surplus: for fuck's sake do something with our money

the recent ddos attack on ao3 illustrated that the otw (@transformativeworks) has amazing volunteers who were able to get things up and running again after a cyberattack. and i’ve seen a bunch of different people urging others to donate to otw in light of the attack.

the problem? not only are the volunteers not going to get any of the money, but the otw likely isn’t going to do anything else with it, because they already have more than $2.5 million in budget surplus that they have not been transparent about with their members, and that they have no plans for.

yup. we’ve known for years that otw had at least $1 million in their “reserves”; they’ve said so at their last two public finance meetings in 2021 and 2022. but a few months ago, @manogirl and i went digging a little deeper because we suspected that there was even more. 

and we were right. from the documentation available, our estimate is that at the beginning of 2023, they had $2,585,841 that was not dedicated to any purpose. this does not include money they had budgeted to spend in 2023 on regular expenses. just extra. (keep reading to see how we got that figure.)

equally appalling? they have all this money and are barely earning any interest on it. satsuma on dreamwidth looked at their 2021 tax returns and found that only ~$10k of their money is held in an interest-bearing savings account, which resulted in them earning only $90 in interest income for 2021. the rest of it is not in interest-bearing accounts. it is just sitting there.

looking at all the crises and dysfunction that have been discussed and uncovered over the past few months - racist harassment and the three-year-old promise to hire a diversity consultant; the mistreatment of volunteers by the otw board both related to last year’s CSEM attacks, and, separately, mistreatment and racism towards chinese and chinese diaspora volunteers both in the past and recently with the closure of the otw’s weibo account; and of course, this latest ddos attack - all of this indicates that there is severe dysfunction within the org. and donors throwing more money at the organization clearly isn’t helping.

the otw board needs to get its shit together and hire people to help with these things. this is not a new idea - there’s been talk for years about hiring paid staff, and in fact, at their july 2021 board meeting, otw said they would be appointing a volunteer who would be known as the “paid staff officer”, to come up with a plan for hiring paid staff. (to be clear, the “paid staff officer” would be an unpaid volunteer.) it’s been two years since that commitment. they have not, to my knowledge, appointed that officer yet.

it’s infuriating, because otw’s “scrappiness” as an organization is constantly used to defend their obstruction of action on things like racism, and this ddos attack will be used to further that agenda as well. but otw doesn’t need to be scrappy. they are well-resourced and could be using that money to set up more sustainable systems, instead of burning out and mistreating their volunteers, and reneging on commitments to address racism and harassment.

at the very least, if they’re not going to do anything with their massive budget surplus, they should stop taking more of people’s money. but we’d rather they did something useful with it.

if you want to see this change, the otw finance commitee holds a public meeting where you can ask questions and give them feedback. last year it was in mid-october. you do not have to be an otw member to attend. i'll definitely be making noise about it once the date is announced, but you can also follow otw's socials.

one brief aside: at the time of posting, a lot of these links are not working because the otw's website is still down. i copied these links from a twitter thread i made in the past and they should all be correct, so you just may have to wait until the site is back up to look at them.

now, to debunk some common excuses that people (not otw representatives, mind you, but just people on the internet who have decided to defend the org) give when confronted with how much money otw has:

MYTH: otw needs to keep $2.5 million in cash reserves in case of an emergency or unexpected revenue shortfall. REALITY: it’s true that nonprofits do need SOME cash reserves for those cases. typical practice is to have 3-6 months’ worth of operating expenses. otw’s current operating expenses are ~$520,000/year, so 6 months would be $260,000. (and, in fact, when i was told by an otw finance committee member that they had $1 million, they were intending 25% of that to be for emergencies, around $250,000). if you were being REALLY cautious, you could have reserves up to one to two years. but $2.5 million is enough for almost FIVE YEARS OF OPERATING EXPENSES. that is an absurd amount to be hoarding, especially when otw’s history of fundraising is that they always exceed their goals, and always make more money in donations than they need for their expenses within a given year. MYTH: they need this money for legal costs if they get sued. REALITY: otw gets most of their legal expenses donated, which is also not listed in their budget, but is in their audited financial statements. in 2021, the most recent financial statement we have, you can see on page 10 that they received just over $230k in donated legal expenses. they do budget some minor legal expenses yearly: in 2023 they’ve budgeted a little over $5k for “registration fees for conferences and hearings and funds set aside for legal filings if necessary, as well as an allocated share of newly adopted OTW-wide productivity tools”. however they do not have a history of even spending that much: in 2022, they had budgeted $4k for legal expenses and only spent $244 (see cell C29 of the budget spreadsheet). they have never been sued, and they do not appear to budget for litigation costs. and when, in the past, they’ve been asked about what their reserves are for (back in fall 2022 when the finance committee told me they had $1 million in reserves, even though this was patently false given their tax documents for 2021), litigation costs were not brought up.  MYTH: they just haven’t had enough time to figure out investment options. REALITY: they clearly have at least one savings account set up to generate interest, which only has $10k in it. even if they haven’t figured out a full investment portfolio, why wouldn’t they put more money in that account? in the u.s., the federal deposit insurance corporation (FDIC) insures bank accounts up to $250,000, so they should have at least that much in there. absurd. also, they have had plenty of time even for a larger portfolio. if you search “investment” on their site, you’ll see that they’ve been talking for YEARS about investing their reserves. more specifically, at both their 2021 and 2022 finance meetings, they said that they needed more time to research investment options. as usual, they have had far more time than they need.  MYTH: they need this money for new servers. REALITY: otw does in fact include expenses for new servers and server maintenance in their yearly budget reports. you can see this in their 2023 budget spreadsheet if you go to the sheet “program expenses” - under “archive of our own”, you’ll see server expenses. the $2.5 million is money that is EXTRA to their listed expenses and revenue in that spreadsheet.

finally, see below where we’ve given more context on otw’s budgeting and showed our work in coming up with these numbers.

showing our work

firstly, i should note for the record that i sent a message to the otw finance committee through the contact us form on the otw website on may 11, 2023 to ask them to state the amount in their reserves.

it has been two months and i have still not received a response (which i find funny, because at the last otw board meeting in early july, the board specifically said to use that form to contact the finance commitee if we had questions about the 2023 budget), so @manogirl and i were forced to do our own math. we've had this work checked by a number of people, but of course we were only able to work with the information the otw has made publicly available.

a few things you need to know about the otw’s budgeting:

they release yearly budget reports on their website (here’s their most recent one, which shows what they project for 2023 and their “actuals” for 2022), but they do not include their surplus in this report - they only include the revenue and expenses for each year

they also provide both their yearly audited financial statements and their yearly tax returns (form 990s) on their reports & governing documents page, but currently, the most recent statements we have are from 2021

otw typically raises more money in donations than they need within a year, so their surplus is always growing 

they have used the term “reserves” in the past to talk about money, but we don’t know exactly what they mean by “reserves” - is there a dedicated account that they consider their reserves?

because of these uncertainties, the goal for @manogirl and i was was to figure out how much of a budget surplus OTW had at the beginning of 2023, and because we don’t know how they define “reserves”, we defined it as how much they had in liquid assets that were not being dedicated for a specific purpose in their budget. (liquid assets are anything that can be converted into cash quickly – e.g. not equipment like their servers, nor anything that would be held in a long-term investment account, etc)

the first document we looked at was their 2021 audited financial statement. the key number is on page 11, under the section on liquidity, where it lists their end-of-year liquid assets as $2,315,841.

so at the end of 2021, they had over $2.3 million in liquid assets.

but since their 2022 audited financial statement isn’t up, we had to turn to their 2023 budget, and specifically, to their 2023 budget spreadsheet, where they show the “actuals” (what they actually raised & spent in each line item) for 2022 in column C. as i mentioned, they don’t list their reserves in this spreadsheet - only the revenue generated & expenses paid within that year, not anything carrying over from the previous year unless clearly outlined.

so at the bottom you’ll see that their net income (revenue minus expenses) in 2022 was $493,564.94, and that they then transferred $400,000 of that to the reserves sometime in 2022.

and the remaining $93,564.94, their adjusted net income for 2022, presumably carries over to help pay initial expenses in 2023 before they started earning more revenue. they also transferred $130,000 of their reserves BACK to help with that at the start of 2023.

so now we have the numbers we need to calculate the surplus (including reserves) at the start of 2023:

$2,315,841 (liquid assets at end of 2021) + $400,000 (transferred to reserve in 2022) - $130,000 (transferred from reserve in 2023) = $2,585,841 USD at the start of 2023

so that’s our math. otw had $2.5 million at the beginning of this year in surplus, in addition to around $223k (last year’s $93.5k in income and the $130k they transferred back from the reserves at the beginning 2023) to fund their expenses for the first half of this year. this does not even include the hundreds of thousands they raised in april 2023 during their fundraising drive.

okay the main part of our documentation is done, but if you want to read a little bit more about what @manogirl and i learned from doing this deep dive, here are a few additional thoughts/nuggets:

first of all, OTW is incorporated in the u.s. state of delaware, which is interesting because as @manogirl researched, delaware is a tax haven where 501c3 nonprofits don’t have to pay any business tax. plus, in many u.s. states, nonprofits have a limit on the amount of money they can keep without spending, but this too is not the case in delaware. of course, incorporating in delaware to take advantage of those benefits is not illegal! but it is very savvy, a characteristic that seems to have not continued with their financial management past their original incorporation lol

next, some more detail on their finances from their 2023 budget spreadsheet. let’s start with revenue.

the most interesting thing to me here is that while their spring and fall membership drive donations bring in the most, non-drive donations are also substantial. also their “total unrestricted net revenue received” is $975,638.36 in cell C16. however, for some reason, when they calculate their net income for the year, they use cell 12, “total unrestricted revenue” ($1,012,543.42) instead. the difference between those two cells is that cell 12 is the amount before their transaction fees are subtracted. but i have no idea why the transaction fees would be ignored when calculating their net income. is this an error?

next, their expenses, which came out to $518,978.48. not too much surprised me here except how low their legal advocacy spending still is, plus  the fact that they’d given francesca coppa a grant for her book on the history of fanvidding, lol. (i’ve written more about this; so has wistfuljane on dreamwidth if you scroll down a bit from here).

it’s also interesting to look at what they’ve budgeted (both the revenue & expenses they’ve expected going into the year) for 2022. in every revenue category, they have exceeded their goal, except for $50 in “other income”. and in most of their expenses categories they have overestimated their needs, except for going over about $700 in the transformative works & cultures, & about $500 for development. this just shows how much they are able to meet their yearly expenses (overestimated) with the revenue generated each year (underestimated), & still have substantial amounts left over (almost half of revenue transferred to reserves)

so that’s what we’ve found. if anyone else notices weird things in their budgeting, please let us know!

[aquietwritingcorner]

Unexpected Patient

For @tmnt-write-fight for @dandylovesturtles

Title: Unexpected Patient Prompt: Outsider POV of anyone getting rescued by the turtles  Fandom: TMNT 2003 Word Count: 2855  Author: aquietwritingcorner/realitybreakgirl Rating:  T Characters: OC (Samantha Craik, Peter Craik), Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello, Michelangelo, Casey Jones Warning: NA Summary: Samantha Craik did not expect for a stop at a corner store on her way home from her shift at the hospital to put her in life-threatening danger, but it did. She also didn’t expect for the life-threatening danger to put a new patient in her lap, but, well, it was, apparently, a night of unexpected things. Notes: Sam is a character I’ve had around in some form since I was 13, and Peter since my early 20s. I have fun sticking her in fics here and there. This isn’t their first appearance in TMNT fics, as I lent the both of them out to some friends in the late 2000s for their Fast Forward fics. Unfortunately, those are long lost, which is a shame, really. Back up your favorite fics, y’all! ff.net || AO3

___________________________________-

Unexpected Patient

Samantha Craik cursed in her head. She’d have cursed out loud, except she was positive that saying anything out loud right now was not a good idea. Normally this wouldn’t have stopped the fiery red-head, but there were children in this store and the last thing she wanted was for anyone to get hurt on account of her temper. Her blood boiled as these punks pushed through the store, demanding money from people and stealing from the shelves. Stars, Peter was gonna kill her. She should have just gone on to the subway station after her shift at the hospital ended and made do with whatever food they had there instead of stopping for a quick snack.

One of the gang members brandished a knife at her. “Hey—gimmie your money.”

Sam glared at him, but reached into her purse and pulled out her wallet. He swiped it from her, opening it, and then frowning. “This is it?” he said.

“If you think I had money, do you think I’d be working at this hospital?” she shot back at him jabbing a finger towards the hospital’s crest that was on her lab coat. “I’m barely out of residency! I’ve still got loans to pay off!”

“Tch.” The punk looked at her disdainfully. “I’ll make more money hocking this wallet then what you have in it.”

“Well pardon me for being poor!”

The punk gestured with his knife. “Get over there with the others!”

Sam made her way over to the other customers, one of the punks taking a moment to look at her. Sam narrowed her eyes at him. Yeah, she recognized him. He was a Purple Dragon, and he’d been in and out of her ER a few times. Several of these guys had. And yet, here they were, doing the same crap that got them in her ER to begin with.

“Hey—you got that money yet?” the guy called out, clearly their leader.

“Yeah. Getting the last of it now,” a green-haired punk called out.

The leader nodded and turned back to look at them. There weren’t many people in the store. Sam hadn’t expected there to be, not this late. There was the cashier, a teenager who looked far too stoned to properly see the danger everyone was in; a man who appeared to be in his late sixties, leaning heavily on a cane in a way that told Sam he probably was going to need a knee replacement soon; a young immigrant woman and her two children, none of which seemed to understand much English, but clearly understood the gestures with the guns and knives; and her, a thirty-year-old doctor, straight off of what was supposed to be a twelve hour shift that had turned into a fifteen hour one instead, because sometimes that’s just how it was.

Maybe her mother was right, and she should see about transferring to one of the hospitals in the richer areas of the city.

“Hey!” a punk from outside came running in the door. “The nut with the hockey mask is coming! And you know what that means.”

The leader cursed, and Sam found herself really hoping that the kids didn’t understand English.

“I was hoping not to deal with any green freaks tonight. Alright—bag up what we’ve got and let’s get out of here.” He looked at the group. “And just for good measure—”

He leveled the gun at the old man, and Sam realized just what he was about to do. She moved, shoving his arm up. Was it the smartest thing she could have done? No. Was it what she did anyway? Yeah.

“Leave him alone, you fracking jerk!”

The shot missed, pinging on the light fixture instead, and the man growled and tried to shake her off. In for a penny, in for a pound, she figured. Sam threw herself into fighting him, something that she wasn’t completely useless in. But she was no fighter, and it didn’t take long for the punks to have her pinned to the ground, the gun on her.

“Let go of me you fricking punk!” she snarled, still fighting.

“Since you’re so eager,” the leader said, and she could see him aiming the gun at her out of the corner of her eye, “then you can be the example.”

Oh yeah. If she made it through this, her husband was definitely going to kill her.

Still, she growled and struggled, not willing to just give up and give in.

And then the door slammed open, and something burst in.

“It’s the freaks!” someone shouted, and the gun was suddenly off of her and fixated on something else, going off as a fight broke out.

Sam wasn’t a stupid woman, and she knew an opportunity when she saw it. Despite the grip the man that was still holding her had on her long hair, Sam twisted in his grasp, kicked him right in his junk, and then twisted her head to bite the hand that still had her shoulder. The man let out a gasp, and Sam rolled, not getting to her feet, but scrambling back and away from things.

The woman with her children were cowering, and Sam looked them over, trying to find any sort of cultural distinguisher on them. She knew a few words in different languages, and she hoped she guessed the right one.

“Go!” she said, her accent terrible, and pointed towards the storeroom door. The woman’s eyes lit up in understanding, and she grabbed her kids’ hands, speaking rapidly to them and tugging them with her. They all moved like they had escaped violent situations before, but Sam didn’t have time to spare more than an observation about that.

The stoned teenager must have had more sense than she thought, because he was gone, and the old man, seeing where the woman had gone, was already following along. Good. Then it was just her.

And then, suddenly she found herself being yanked backwards by her hair, a strong hand pulling her by her long braid. She had the presence of mind to try to twist around, her hair long enough to give her that freedom, but it didn’t work, and she realized that the leader of the punks had her as he pulled her to him, wrapping an arm around her neck. She struggled, insults pouring from her lips as she did, but she stopped when the gun was put to her head once more.

“No one move, or the lady doctor here gets it,” he said.

Sam twitched in his arms and growled. “Glad to know me saving your scummy life means something. Next time I’ll give it the attention it’s worth!”

“You,” he said, “don’t say nothing either.”

Sam growled again but switched her attention to looking at who else the punk was addressing. Her eyes widened as she took in who—or what—was in front of her. Four green figures, turtles, all wielding some sort of weapons, and a tall, dark-haired man in a hockey mask with a hockey stick in his hands.

Somehow, he looked the most out of place out of all of them.

Sam had heard rumors of the turtle men before. She’d not put much stock into the stories at first. All sorts of crazies came into the ER, especially at night, and some strung out druggie or beat up punk talking about karate turtles just made her double check their toxicology report. You never knew when there was a bad batch on the street.

But the stories persisted, and she heard them from other places as well. She still hadn’t quite put her faith in those stories. It all seemed like some sort of gimmick to her. But now that the proof was in front of her, well, she couldn’t help but conclude that maybe she should have paid a bit more attention to those rumors.

“Let her go,” the one with the blue mask said. “She’s an innocent.”

“If she hadn’t of interfered, we’d have been gone before you four freaks got—wait, why are there only three of you,” the leader snarled.

And that was when everything went even more wrong than it had so far.

The Dragon went to move his gun from her head to point at one of the turtle men. Sam took the opportunity to jerk her head forward to bite the arm that held her in place and reached back to grab him in a very personal way and twist. At the same time, something came flying out of the air and embedded itself in the Dragon’s hand. A turtle-man leapt forward and tackled her down and out of the way. And at the same time, the gun went off.

The Dragon howled in pain, there was a shout of pain from the opposite direction, and someone screaming “Donnie!” A thud came from the direction of the Dragon, a clack from the direction of the turtle men, and the turtle man that had tackled her out of the way and had somehow kept from squishing her, came up on his feet, setting her on hers before he rushed over towards the turtle Sam could now see being supported by the man, his red mask tails streaking out behind him.

“What the he—” Sam said, mostly to herself as she took in the scenes in front of her.

The turtle with the blue mask stood over the downed Dragon. The man was clearly bleeding out, and Sam was more than a little certain that there was nothing do to save him. A turtle man with an orange mask was hurrying from the direction of the counter towards the other two turtles and the man. The man was lowering a purple-masked turtle to the ground, clearly supporting him.

Well, it seemed pretty clear what she needed to do.

Shaking off her shock and falling back into her professional mindset, Sam hurried forward.

“Move,” she said bluntly, watching as they settled the purple-masked one—Donnie, she presumed—on the ground, the orange-masked one using his lap as a pillow for the other. She could hear the blue-masked one’s footsteps behind her.

The red-masked one whirled on her, clearly upset, his strange, pronged weapons held in his hands. “Look, sister—” he started.

Sam was having none of it. “I said, move!” she snapped at him. “I’m a doctor, I can help! Unless you’ve got a better idea?”

“Let her see Don, Raph,” Leo said. “She might can help him where we can’t.”

Raph seemed to want to resist for a moment, but he stepped back and Sam moved next to the injured turtle.

“It’s not too bad,” Donnie was saying through grit teeth. His hands were already at his thigh, trying to tie a tourniquet around it.

“I’ll be the judge of that,” she said, reaching into her scrub pockets and pulling out a pair of gloves. She pushed her long braid behind her shoulders, pulled the gloves on, and got to work.

“Donnie, right?” said as she worked.

“Y-yeah.”

“Alright. And the rest of you?”

“I’m Mikey,” the orange-masked one said.

“Leo,” the blue-masked one offered.

“Raph,” the one with the red mask said.

“Casey,” the only other human said.

“Alright. I’m Dr. Samantha Craik. I work in the hospital down the road,” she said. She looked up at Donnie. “I’m going to take good care of you, alright? But I’m gonna need some information. I’m not familiar with turtles, much less whatever you are.”

Don chuckled a little, but then stopped when it hurt. “I’ll see what I can do, Doc,” he said, clearly trying to breathe through the pain.

Sam just nodded. “I’m assuming you don’t want to go to the hospital?” she said.

“No.” The answer came quick and sure from Leo, and Sam nodded.

“Alright. In that case, here’s what I need.”

The store had the most of the things she needed and Donnie’s bag helpfully provided the rest. Donnie had gotten lucky. The bullet hadn’t hit anything important, and it was fairly clean in-and-out wound. Ideally, she’s have hopped him up on painkillers, taken some scans, put him on a broad-spectrum antibiotic, and gotten him some blood, but none of that was possible at the moment.

Instead, she snapped out orders to the other turtle-men, sterilized things as best she could, and got to work, cursing the Purple Dragons with every spare breath she had.

“Idiotic low-life—hold his leg still—punks who can’t figure out that—keep that pressure!—that all they’re gonna have is a short and—this is gonna hurt, Donnie—violent life where no one will ever want to remember them—you’re doing good—and they’ll either—almost done with this side—die young or rot in prison—”

“I kinda like you,” Raph said to her.

“I’ll add that to my resume,” she shot back immediately, not even thinking about it. Mikey laughed, but it seemed to ease the turtles and their human friend a bit.

Finally, she sat back, putting things away and stripping off her gloves. “There,” she said. She looked over at Leo, as he seemed the most responsible of the bunch. “He needs to stay off of it. I don’t know if you have access to antibiotics, but those can’t hurt. Keep it clean and wrapped. Those stitches will have to be taken out, so—”

“We can handle that,” Leo said. “We’ve done it before.”

“Although it’s usually Donnie doing this kind of stuff,” Mikey said.

“I’ll… be able to do it… by then…” Donnie said, his face still pinched in pain.

Sam nodded. “Fine.” She hesitated. “If you need anything, come find me. Something tells me you don’t have a lot of medical access.” She looked around and picked up a discarded piece of cardboard and pulled a pen out of her pocket. “Here. That’s my number. Call me. Or come to the hospital and ask for me, or Peter Craik—my husband,” she said at Leo’s look.

He took the number and tucked it into his belt, even as Raph was kneeling in front of Donnie, shell to him as Mikey and Casey helped Don sit up. In the distance sirens sounded.

“We will,” he said. “Thank you, Dr. Craik. But for now, we have to go. Raph?”

“Good to go,” Raph said, standing up with Donnie clinging to his shell.

“See ya, doc!” Mikey said with a wave.

The four of them headed out the back, but Casey hesitated for a moment. “Ya good, Doc?”

Sam sighed. “Well, someone has to stay behind and explain this—and something tells me that you shouldn’t be here anymore than them.”

“Heh. Maybe,” Casey said. “Seriously, though, thanks Doc.” He headed out the back as well, following behind, leaving Sam standing in the middle of the store with a dead Purple Dragon and several that were tied up—although she had no idea when that had happened.

She sighed and sat down on the floor as the sirens got closer. This was going to be a mess.

Sam was right. It was a mess. She had to explain over and over again that some vigilantes had come in and saved them, that one had gotten wounded, and that she had done her best to treat him, as per her oath, but that, no, she didn’t know what they looked like under their masks and that, no, she had no idea who they were or where they had gone. By the time it was all over with and the police accepted her statement, the sun was up, and her husband was waiting on her.

“Sam!” he said, rushing towards her. “Are you alright?”

“I’m tired, my hair is a mess, I had my life threatened, I had to do field medicine, and I’ve not slept in nearly twenty-four hours,” she snapped. “What do you think?”

Peter just grinned at her. “I think that, if you’re snapping like that at me, that you’re probably alright. Let’s get out of here.”

The two left the police station, and headed home, Peter holding Sam’s hand. They were quiet for a moment, and then, softly, Peter murmured to her.

“So, are you going to tell me what really happened?”

Sam didn’t answer for a moment. “…when we get home,” she said.

“Why didn’t you tell the police?” he asked, not condemning, but clearly curious.

“Because sometimes, ‘do no harm’ is more than just the patient’s body,” Sam said irritably.

Peter laughed. “And that’s why I love you,” he said.

“Because I take my oath seriously?” Sam demanded, shooting him a look.

Peter grinned at her. “Because when you’ve decided something’s your duty, nothing can stop you—especially if it’s for the good of your patients.”

Sam harumphed, but he wasn’t wrong, she reflected. And as they walked down the street and down into the subway station she should have entered into last night, Sam wondered if she’d ever see those particular patients again.

After all, a good doctor always followed up.

[ruvastuon]

Writeblr Intro

I haven’t gotten around to writing an intro until now, and i’ll try my best to not ramble too much.

Ruvastion/Ruvastuon are both fine to call me, but if you want to play around with the names to make them easier to type, that's okay with me, too.

I am a 22yo introvert, and my hobbies include writing, drawing, gaming, knitting/crochet, DND, walking, and making bread.

(Guava taking a nap)

I have been writing since I was young but suffered from the curse of never finishing any of my projects.

Last year, I was really frustrated with myself for having only two actual results of my writing efforts over the years (both of which were unedited short pieces that exist where I can not reach them. (One I had written in a note book that I lost, and the other was on a web novel account that I lost access to, due to my former self being really bad at writing things down correctly))

Anyway… One of my brothers had a conversation with me about trying to write some fan-fiction to jump start my writing which is how I stumbled across a little site called AO3 and to my surprise I was actually able to get some stuff written and even posted.

I struggle with interacting online and tend to procrastinate heavily if there isn’t some type of deadline that is in one way or another enforceable. I was sick of being held back by my anxiety about even commenting or liking things that I enjoy, so I made this account to try and push myself through exposure therapy.

I’ve really enjoyed interacting with people here more than I thought I would, but as I am rather new to social media interactions in general, I apologize in advance if I get something wrong.

For my original work, I tend to write more dark fantasy than anything, but I like to experiment around with ideas that I find interesting, so no genre is completely off the table.

My main original WIP right now is very much a work in progress, and doesn’t have a proper title yet, so I just call it ‘Bloodmage’. I’ve already posted snippets from it for Flashfictionfriday prompts, and it is an alternate universe 1940s post-war dark comedy that leans heavily into magic/cryptids.

I’m having fun with it.

I have written fics for: Valorant, Resident evil 8, Vampyr, Darkest Dungeon, and Warframe. As stated before they help me get my brain in writing mode and I would recommend at least trying to make a short fic about some fandom you enjoy if you struggle with a similar problem to mine (It might not work, but it’s worth a shot)

I like talking about people’s ideas and absolutely love when people make original monsters/different takes on existing monsters. They can be so fun to imagine and fascinating to think about. If you would like to share one, I would love to hear about them, but if you just want to gush about a character that you are having fun with, feel free to do so.

I am okay with being tagged in games or posts, but it might take me a bit to reply.

My all-time favorite book series is LOTR/the Hobbit, but I also really enjoyed Exile’s Honor by Mercedes Lackey.

I love cats, but dogs are also fun to be around. (The cars featured in this post are some of mine.)

Okay, scatterbrained rant over. Good luck with your projects. I hope you have a great day!

(Front: Tubbles, back: Gondor)

[calsvoid]

writing meme: about me

i got tagged by @lusthurts so thank you for that <3

1. How did you get into writing fanfiction?

ive been into writing for years before i got into fanfiction specifically so i guess just from reading fanfiction i guess, but if you want a longer story, i got more interested in writing from roleplaying on amino and got into fanfiction because the fandom i was in at the time got OBSESSED with this one popular work and i just HAD to check it out

2. How many fandoms have you written in?

officially, my ao3 account only has glee works rn but i do have a 911 fic im working on and i do want to venture into more fandoms, but i don’t really have the confidence to do so yet

3. How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

i’ve been trying since 2020 to be more of a fanfic writer but never actually got anything solid until 2023 so 1-4 years depending on how you see it

4. Do you read or write more fanfiction?

definitely read im a slowass writer and part of that is because im too busy reading fanfiction instead of writing

5. What is one way you've improved as a writer?

overall in the years i’ve been a writer, i feel like i’m better at portraying characters as well rounded and creating characters that aren’t just one stereotype. when it comes to my time as a fanfic writer, im better at writing actual scenes rather than just random narration

6. What's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

the probability of survival when falling from certain heights. also ohio the glee writers were cruel for making their show based in fucking ohio of all places

7. What's your favorite type of comment to receive on your work?

i’m honestly not picky i love all types of comments, but if i really had to choose, it’d probably be any that point out a specific part or line or whatever in my writing. it makes me so happy when people have some detail stick with them

8. What's the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

i honestly haven’t done anything too intense in my writing i think the most out there i’ve gotten is just emotional infidelity and that’s just standard for seblaine. i do plan on killing blaine in one wip of mine, but it’s just an idea for now because i’ve got other shit to focus on

9. What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

longer stories are literally impossible for me. i absolutely SUCK at writing anything longer than a couple thousand words and even that is hard for me. smut is also hard but that’s because i haven’t bothered to write smut, so different vibes

10. What is the easiest type?

well if you see how many hurt no comfort fics i’ve published it’s obvious fluff is what i’m best at. but yeah short vignette angsty stories are super easy for me to write. it’s just 50% projection and 50% exaggeration and 100% gay, so no problem there

11. Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

i often write at home, on my notes app, at any point of the day, and i post all my stuff on ao3. i will sometimes edit on my laptop on google docs, but i get lazy too and so my latest fics have been mostly raw and unedited.

12. What is something you've been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

smut and literally any ship that isn’t seblaine and also longer works. i’d love to be one of those writers who comes out with these multi chapter masterpieces but i’m just not right now. i’ve had ideas for other ships too, but i never really flesh them out because they’re usually stuff that would span across thousands of words and i don’t have the time, energy, nor skill level to do that yet. and again, for smut, i just never bother, and while i think im never going to be the explicit sex scenes type of writer, i love the angst potential of it

13. What made you choose your username?

acedisgrace is a name i’m like 85% sure i saw a joke about from a stolen tumblr post on instagram and i was like hey im asexual and a disappointment haha what if i change my discord name to that and then eventually when i got an ao3 account, i just went with it because i saw it was available there too. as for calsvoid, they’re my initials and i spew whatever bullshit i want on tumblr and also i wish i didn’t have a body and instead was an amorphous blob of nothingness

i don’t really know who to tag that i haven’t already seen tag so anyone who would like to do this can

[letstalkwhump]

Let's Talk Whump

Welcome to Let’s Talk Whump, a series of interviews that spotlight the amazing people in our whump community! This is Izzy and Malice and we’ll be your hosts today. 

Here with us today is the one and only @whumpsday!

Let’s start with a fact or two about yourself!

My name is Mill and I’m 26! Aside from the whump hobbies of writing and roleplaying, I also play TTRPGs. (My favorites are everything in the Awaken Realms catalogue: Etherfields and Tainted Grail, and I’ll start ISS Vanguard after I finish the Etherfields expansions. Gonna start Vampire the Masquerade soon too.) I haven’t played any roleplay-based TTRPGs like D&D yet, but I’d love to someday. My favorite color is red and my favorite animal is the cat.

That’s sweet as! What does whump mean to you? 

Creative content involving characters’ pain would probably be the broadest definition that still includes everything. I consider it a subgenre of horror, with the added bonus of often showing the gritty recovery from the trauma.

And how did you find the whump community? What made you want to join? 

I originally found whump fiction on AO3 while browsing G/t content (Giant/tiny, content for characters with size differences, such as one being 4 inches tall. It’s the other niche art/writing community I’m in.) That led me to tumblr, and here I am! I’d always enjoyed whump-type content as far as I can remember. I lurked for a couple of years before finally making an account and joining because I was eager to share the stories of my daydream characters.

Do you think the way you view whump has changed since joining the community here? 

It hasn’t changed much! Always been an OC writer and still am. But I’ve only been here for a year and a half.

Now the important questions: what is your favourite whump trope?

My favorite whump trope is probably an immortal whumpee. With a human, you’re bound by the constraints of a human body. People die if you torture them too much. But if your whumpee is immortal, that goes away and the possibilities are limitless. Bonus if they’re a generally-despised species like a vampire or demon.

Immortal whumpee are so good! Endless possibilities equals endless whump! Would you like to share some of your writing with us?

My main series, Kane & Jim, is undoubtedly my favorite. I never thought I could be a writer, and I’m proud of myself for writing 50 chapters of that and counting. Within that, my favorite piece is either Hunger (#15) or Papercut (#17). Link: https://whumpsday.tumblr.com/post/709301997070909440/kane-jim-masterlist-writing-order-click 

Love the authors notes on Papercut #17! What's your writing style like?

I generally write in the late night (anytime from 11pm to 4am) in big blocks. I do not eat or listen to music, and have a water bottle nearby. I used to write very regularly but have since fallen off, and have just recently gotten back on track.

Is there an easy thing for you to write, something the words usually flow for? Is there something you struggle with writing? 

I always find it easier to write single-scene chapters with no cuts. I find it more difficult to write things spanning long lengths of time with time skips abound.

And are you working on anything at the moment? 

I am currently working on my pieces for the Whumpmas in July event (@whumpmasinjuly), which will be half Kane & Jim works and half one-shot short stories.

I’m so excited for Whumpmas in July, it’s such a cool event! Do you have a joke or pun you would like to share to spread some smiles today?

I’m not too good at jokes, so instead have my favorite cat video of all time for a smile: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2rELs4jl64k 

Aww kittens! That’s definitely a smile from me! Is there any writing advice you’d like to share?

You don’t have to write everything in order. If something in a piece is giving you trouble, slap a “COME BACK HERE” label on it and move on to something the inspiration is flowing for.

Finally is there anyone you’d like to mention?

Sorry this is a lot… I have too much love in my heart <3

@anomalys-taxonomy, @blackberry-bloody, @dismemberment-on-a-tuesday-night, @emmettnet, @lost-in-labradorite-halls, @lumpofwhump, @not-a-space-alien, @obsessedwithegos, @oddsconvert, @pardonmekreature, @quietly-by-myself, @t0rture-me, @whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump, @whump-queen, @whumperstorm, @whumpshaped, @whumpwillow, @wolfeyedwitch, @whumpy-writings, @whumpzone

Any last words?

i forced myself to use proper capitalization for this interview but i’m a lowercase guy at heart

Thank you so much for joining us today! It was great to have you on the show!

And to all you folks at home, have a whump-derful day!

[dxmpstr]

HELLO

I’m dxmpstr. or dxmpstr mxn. or simply Lukas.

i’m a 21 year old humanoid thing. i use He/Him mostly, but It is good too. like in a creature way. i tend to disconnect myself from humanity sometimes.

i don’t do much. creatively or in life. Ken’s job is just Beach, my job is just Hyperfixate.

i do have my few creative endeavours that i have yet to actually start. i’m hoping this blog will be the kick i need. i have an ao3 account collecting dust because i haven’t actually started writing anything. i can’t draw for shit so writing is what i got. i also make edits every now and then. eventually, i’ll make a master list of all of them and whatever writing stuff i post in the future.

moving on, how about i get into some of those said hyperfixations?

to start, one of the most recent is yakuza/ryu ga gotoku. been into it for only over a year but it’s consumed my entire life. i’m also very into anything hannibal lecter, be it the movies, books, or tv show. i’ve been into that for a few years now. at this point, i’d say Jerma985 has evolved into a hyperfixation for me, im constantly watching his stream archives and clip complications. my earliest hyperfixation i can remember is Invader Zim, i’ve been into it since i was a wee boy (it really explains a lot about how i ended up if you think about it). basically if i have a board (meme or otherwise) on pinterest for it, it’s a hyperfixation. some of the only exceptions to that are the band Trash Boat because they aren’t big enough and Last Podcast on the Left, but that’s made up for with meme pages i follow elsewhere. rapid fire other hyperfixations are Pikmin, Kirby, Katamari, Good Omens, Mr Robot, Pokemon, Hellsing, Hatsune Miku/all the Cryptonloids (and to a smaller degree vocal synth in general) and Project Sekai (Colorful Stage)/Project Diva.

some of my non-hyperfixation interests include: music, video games, reading, anime and manga, cartoons (adult or otherwise), movies, etc.

in terms of music, i really do listen to a bit of everything. some of my favourites are Trash Boat (as previously stated), Jhariah, Babymetal, Oingo Boingo, Fall Out Boy, blink-182, Buck-Tick, Deco*27, Malice Mizer, Atarashi Gakko, and Will Wood (Tapeworms era too).

this is going on way too long. i either suck at talking about myself or i never shut the fuck up about myself. there’s no in between. i’m open to talk about whatever else wasn’t talked about here. like if you wanna know my favorite anime or movies or whatever, just ask. same goes for if you wish to find my other dwellings on the webs.

that’s been my intro. now to go back into hiding until the next time someone needs an omen or a bridge collapse.

my brother did a funky little graphic for his intro but i’m lazy so you just get paragraphs.

[namelesspastel]

Once Bitten....: Chapter 1

Hello! I'm Pastel, a Sasaki to Miyano fanfic writer. You can find me on AO3 under namelesspastel. This is the first chapter of one of my (personal) favorite stories I've written. Enjoy!!

In this world, vampires exist. No, they don’t exist like they do in the movies or in fiction, but they are real.

It’s been found that via modern science that rather than being bitten or something along those lines, vampires are actually just humans that go through a genetic mutation in the womb. Whatever mutation that is, causes vampirism; the need to drink blood to survive, a slow aging rate making them seem almost immortal, sensitivity to sunlight and heightened physical and mental abilities. Pure-blood vampires always need to drink blood directly from a living being in order to survive.

There are two ways vampires come to exist; a vampire is born between two vampires and a vampire is born between two humans – the baby have mutated before birth. These vampires are considered pure-blood vampires, and the older the vampire linage, the more pure they are considered.

The other way vampires come into existence is by a human and a vampire having a child. The child has about 50/50 chance of becoming a human or vampire, the with the first stages showing in young childhood – approximately around three to four years old. The child will typically show one of the following signs: a need for blood, heightened sensitivity to sunlight, or remarkable athletic and academic prowess. If any of those appear, there’s a good chance the child is a half vampire, a dahmpire, a creature that can live off of both human food and blood.

Some dahmpires need more food than blood and some need more blood than food. Some can take in blood packs, some need it directly from the source. They might not be as athletic or as smart as a pure-blood but they typically do better than humans. They also aren’t as sensitive to the sun as pure-bloods. But no vampiric person is a morning bird.

There are some cases – very, very few – in which a person with a human parent and a vampire parent doesn’t awaken in the early stages of childhood and rather, awakens in the early to late stages of adolescence….

My name is Yoshikazu Miyano, I’m a third year in middle school and I just got my first craving for blood.

***

I knew that there was a chance I could become a vampire – my father is one after all – but having gone through all of primary and almost all of junior high without a single inkling of wanting blood or any of the other signs (aside from being a night owl but I am a teen in junior high, that’s normal), I thought I was in the clear.

But all that came crashing down when one of my classmates cut themselves on some paper. It wasn’t a serious wound, but did it bleed. And all I could think about was how it would taste.

Needless to say, I freaked out and went home early that day. Despite my parents best efforts, I’ve been stuck in my room since. That happened at the beginning of July. It’s almost September now and I still haven’t stepped foot in my school.

I spent my time reading manga and surfing the net. While I was idly looking through some blogs, I came across one that had a band I recognized from a drama I had watched recently. The blog itself was simple, it wasn’t very eye-catching and to be honest, the person running the blog didn’t seem that interested in posting daily, but their posts when they did make them really showed just how much they enjoyed music and the bands they were writing about.

Working up my courage after a few weeks of checking the blog out, I made an account and posted a comment. It hadn’t been anything serious, just a simple comment saying how I had come across the band myself. I hadn’t expected a response and yet, within an hour of me posting that comment, I got an email saying there had been a reply. I was curious and checked and found that the owner themselves had responded to my comment. They had responded enthusiastically about the drama and asked if I had heard any of their other works. And just like that, I started regular contact with the owner of the blog.

We only talked through email, but I did learn a few things. They were my senpai, a year older so a first year in high school. They had started the blog simply because their friends had said they should. Apparently their friends said they needed a hobby and music was something they already liked so it was easy enough. One of the reasons they had replied to my comment was because I was a name they hadn’t recognized. Most of the people who left comments were their friends from school who knew about the blog or bots.

I told them about how I had stopped going to school since July and how I was afraid of going back. It was easier to tell a stranger, someone who I couldn’t see physically, and get across my true feelings about the matter. I didn’t ever bring up the whole dhampire thing though. While vampires were accepted in society as just commonplace, I was still struggling with the fact that I was one now. I played it off as simply a form of anxiety, which in a way it was.

Hmm… that does sound tough. I get that though. It can be hard to return after making a scene like that. Kinda like a you missed your moment kinda thing. Did you talk to the person from school? Get their opinion on it?

No… I never thought to reach out. I was just so freaked out, I hadn’t even thought about what my reaction was like to them…

Were you close?

Hmm… I wouldn’t say we were close but they sat next to me in class. We talked sometimes. They were in the art club and asked me to model for them a few times. I turned them down, though.

Ooh? Could I actually be talking a beauty this whole time without knowing it?

No comment.

ww don’t worry about it, I’m kidding. Anyway, since you stopped going to school, I’m assuming that means you aren’t thinking about high school?

… I don’t know. I mean… I do want to go to high school but… what if the same thing happens again? What if someone gets hurt and I freak out again? I’m scared I won’t be able to stop myself…

Well, I can’t tell you not to worry about it. But maybe it might be good? A change of pace. A different school with a different set of people. If you pick one that’s kinda far away, there’s a chance that people from your school won’t even go there. Or maybe you can pick one of those all one gender schools? That way even if you did run into someone, at least you’d know you’d be on the same level.

“Huh…” I said softly, reading senpai’s message. I hadn’t thought of that. An all boys school a bit far away… there was one that I’d had my eye on. It was about three stations away, and also allowed students to live in dorms. If need be, I thought I could ask my parents to let me stay in the dorm but with my awakening the whole idea of high school had been thrown out the window. But maybe they were right. A change of pace might be a good idea after all.

“But can I even get into high school anymore…?” I pondered aloud. My grades had been good enough before I stopped going to school but I wasn’t sure if I could keep up now. “Hmm… I wonder if this awakening would help me with that… but if I’m serious about this I should probably–” I was cut off by a knock at my door.

“Yoshi-kun?” My mom called, slowly opening the door and peeking inside. “Do you have a moment?”

“Sure. What’s going on, mom?” I asked, closing my laptop and focusing on her. She nodded and came in, sitting on my bed beside me.

“Well, your father and I have been discussing some things… do you still want to go to high school? Or would you rather just stop at middle school? As long as you have your compulsory education, it should be fine but…” She paused and took a breath before giving me a soft smile. “Sorry, I didn’t mean for that to come off like I was a pressuring you.”

I shook my head. It was fine, I knew my extended absence from school was probably causing my parents a lot of stress, even if they did understand what was going on.

“Anyway, we’ve been discussing things like I said and we came across some schools that are specifically for vampires. While you might only be a half, I don’t see why they wouldn’t let you in. Your grades from before were a little on the low side for this type of school but if you attend cram school, I think you’ll just about make it…” She said, shuffling some papers she had in her hands. I hadn’t noticed them before and a quick glance told me that they were brochures.

“Actually mom… I’ve been thinking about it and…”

***

Senpai! Sorry I haven’t been responding lately. Things have been a bit hectic. Thanks to your advice, I talked to my parents and decided to go to high school! For now, I’m just going to attend cram school – kind of as a way to play catch up and see where I am. Depending on how that goes though, I think I might actually return to school. I’m still kind of scared if I’m being honest...

Hey! Long time no speak! That’s great about you moving forward, I’m glad I could help, even though I don’t think I did much ww as for the whole returning back to school thing… I think it’s really brave of you. Really. From what you said, that moment was really scary for you but it seems like you’re doing better now. I think if it’s you, you’ll be able to do it. Actually, I don’t think, I know.

… thank you, Senpai. For everything up until now. Um, I’m going to be busy now but is it okay if I still message you from time to time? It… it really helps.

Of course! Message me whenever you feel like. It can be about anything. I really enjoy our little chats.

If you enjoyed that (or if it just caught your interest at all), feel free to read the rest here!

[weatheredlaw]

Hi there! As a fic reader, I wanted to say I really enjoy your work. I've only read through some of your stuff via ao3, but I re-read a few of your Honor Among Thieves stories regularly. As a fic writer, I wanted to know, even with long breaks in between stories, how do you stay motivated to write so many fanfics AND get a book out?? I'm personally one of those types that will regularly think about a story I started but didn't finish, yet also fail to get back on it even when I really want to.

This is very kind of you to say! I will say myself upfront I don’t have a proper novel completed - my book is a chapbook of self published poems from a few years ago.

As far as finishing my work - I absolutely have WIP’s that are not finished and probably never will be. It happens and it’s not really a bad thing all the time. You try to do something and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. As far as being consistent, I don’t think there’s a trick to it. Every writer is going to create at a different pace. If it’s finishing work you’re struggling with, I highly recommend writing sprints! Either on your own or with a group of fellow writers! I have a sprint bot in a little discord server I made that’s just for me and a friend or two. I also recommend fic exchanges. They can require you to finish something (within a time frame if you’re good with deadlines) and it’s nice to write something you know someone is looking for!

I’ve had my AO3 account for 12 years now, so my body of work has grown pretty steadily! It takes time but the most important thing I think any fic writer can do is to not give up. Don’t worry about hits or comments. Don’t worry about kudos or statistics. You just gotta write. And you don’t have to do it every day either! I think sometimes we see folks who appear to be extremely industrious, with a large body of work and we don’t know how they manage it, but they have ruts and writers block same as anyone else. I haven’t published since June, but I’m starting to feel the bug coming back with some older fandoms.

I hope this is helpful! I’ve been writing fic a long time but the things that work for me don’t necessarily work for other people - you gotta find your own rhythm in the end, but I’m genuinely always happy to answer questions.

[dracothedeatheatingcupcake-ao3]

Hello all!

So, someone sent me an ask about that "Writer truth or dare" (link to the post) and I decided to do them all like I said I would in the tags, ha. I will also answer their question directly, but I mostly just wanted to do this for fun. :-)

Answers under a read more to preserve your dashboards. :-)

🎱 ⇢ post your AO3 total stats

User Subscriptions: 128 Kudos: 10,934 Comment Threads: 1,855 Bookmarks: 3,138 Subscriptions: 1,565 Word Count: 2,133,056 Hits: 291,461

This is over 28 fics, written over the span of about 10 years, since my first published AO3 work was done in 2014 when I was 16.

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction?

I honestly don’t quite remember? I know that I had an idea for a Scorpius Malfoy/Rose Weasley fic while at lunch in like… 7th grade and I wrote about a chapter of it in my art notebook, but as for why or what got me to know what fanfic is, I honestly don’t remember.

🌵 ⇢ share the link to a playlist you love

I… don’t really have one? I mean, I tend to listen to my songs on one big playlist on iTunes or on YouTube, with maybe a couple of specific ones, but nothing that major. As such, I’ll just link the playlist I made for TPWP.

🕯️ ⇢ on a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? why is that?

7-8 depending on the fic. If I like the chapter and it’s mostly just fine tuning that I’m doing, I like it quite a lot. But if it’s a “ugh this chapter/paragraph/sentence is awful and I don’t know how to fix it and I hate it ahhhhh” kinda thing, then I don’t like it quite as much, ha. But it is satisfying to finally realize how to fix a problem I had with a chapter, so it can be rewarding too. Thus… 7-8.

🛼 ⇢ describe your latest wip with five emojis

😍🥰🙊❤️‍🩹🏳️‍🌈

🥑 ⇢ you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?

Well, first of all if I accidentally killed someone, I likely would just turn myself in because lying would help nothing and would just make me super stressed. Second of all, I wouldn’t text a mutual, I would text my brother or my dad, ha.

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

This one is hard, because I love a lot of fanfics and authors. So, I’m just going to pass, oof.

💌 ⇢ how many unread emails do you have right now?

35 exactly. The same number of unread emails I have had since I was 13. Why? Because I am so used to seeing a red “35” next to my gmail account on my phone or in gmail itself, and anytime I try and get rid of those emails, I get anxious and mark them as unread again. So, technically speaking, I have 0 unread emails, since to me 36 emails would indicate that I have an unread email. Yes, I am neurotic about this kind of thing, no I don’t really care.

🌻 ⇢ tag someone you appreciate but don't talk to on a regular basis

I don’t like tagging people… it always makes me feel awkward and anxious, so I’m gonna skip this one too. :-/

🐇 ⇢ do you prefer writing original characters, reader inserts, or a mix of both?

Original characters. I dislike reader inserts. They feel… weird to me. No shame on people who like them! Just… not for me.

🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before

Uhhhh…… I mean, I don’t really know what I have and haven’t posted here before? I’m usually a fairly open person. Well, I guess I can share this, since I don’t think I’ve actually ever shared this here yet, even though I’ve been planning it for almost a year now… no idea if it technically counts as “lore,” but it’s something, ha. Anyway, next month my older brother and I are going to Japan! We’re going to be there for 2 weeks and are going to 3 different cities. I’m hoping to possibly find some Danganronpa things, though I know it’s not super mainstream anymore. Here’s hoping!

🎲 ⇢ what stops you from writing more in your free time?

Lack of motivation or energy. Just because I have time doesn’t mean I have the will.

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

🧸 ⇢ what's the fastest way to become your mutual?

This one is tricky, because I don’t tend to follow people back often? Not for any reason, just it’s not something I do often. Usually, if someone asks or if they mention in tags following me for a while I’ll check their blog out and follow if I think their stuff aligns with my interests. But otherwise… not much I guess?

🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now

I’m going to Japan next month with my brother.

I passed my final exam that I was positive I failed, so now I’ll be able to graduate (as soon as I figure out the requirements…)

I no longer have to wake up early to do an annoying internship I didn’t like much. :-)

📚 ⇢ what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app?

It was a response to a mutual asking a question, since it got pretty long and writing in the Tumblr app can be iffy at times.

🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

Nope. :-)

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

I don’t tend to research weird things for my fics. I did look up all parts of a ship once, since I wrote a pirate AU a long time ago and was like “shoot… what’s this part of the ship actually called???” Not weird, but definitely interesting.

🦷 ⇢ share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on

If there is nothing you can do in a situation, good or bad, then it’s okay to just ignore it and move on if you can. I use this advice whenever there are big global issues that I personally can’t do anything to help. Why spend my time and energy getting needlessly angry over things I can’t change, when I could focus that energy on the things I can, you know? The way that I can change the world is by helping children and encouraging them to grow. That is my life’s goal and my biggest desire in life. I’d rather spend my time and energy on getting my degree, and then later getting a job as a school counselor. I’m not good with anger. I don’t like being angry. So… I just ignore it as best I can. Like, I’ll be informed on what is happening, but I don’t get angry or obsess over it, you know? And it doesn’t make me a bad person, and if anyone thinks it does, then I legit don’t care. It’s my life, and I know how obsessive I can get over things, and I don’t want to ruin my life over things I can’t change. I don’t have the temperament to be an activist. I’m too mild emotionally speaking. So… yeah. I hope that makes sense, ha.

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

I either have already written my dream themes/plots, or I’ve thought about them in enough detail to know exactly how they’ll go, which is good enough for me. And I personally think that I would write it best. I know my own tastes and I would rather write something myself than ask it of something else, you know?

🌿 ⇢ give some advice on writer's block and low creativity

Just give it time. Don’t force it. If you force it, your work will not be your best, which will frustrate you more and add to the writer’s block. For me, inspiration and desire to write comes in waves. Some weeks/months I’m super creative and write a ton (I’ve written two 375k+ fics in a month and a half each, for example). Other weeks/months it feels like every word I write is like pulling teeth. If I try and force myself to write during the latter times, then I get frustrated and it leads me to hate writing, which leads to those times lasting longer. Every time I’ve waited it out, however, I am able to come back to writing fresh and wanting to write. So… just wait. Have patience. Unless you’re a professional writer with a professional deadline, you don’t have to rush it.

🥐 ⇢ name one internet reference that will always make you laugh

Can’t think of one on the top of my head.

🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

I like all comments, but my favorite are the long ones where people point out things that I wrote in chapter they liked, they theorize where things will go next, or they ask questions. Honestly, I love it when people ask questions, since I love rambling about my work, ha.  

🍦 ⇢ name three good things about a character you hate

No. :-)

🥝 ⇢ do you lie a lot? what's the most recent lie you told?

I mean, it depends on what you mean by “lie” and by “a lot.” Because I will tell white lies or half-truths on occasion. Less now than when I was younger, but if it will get me out of trouble or if it will smooth things over, I will tell white lies. Big lies I don’t tend to do, though. It’s only things that don’t really matter one way or the other but make my life easier. Otherwise, I am fairly honest and I prefer honesty. I’ve found that people are much more likely to be forgiving if you’re like “yeah, I messed up, I’m genuinely sorry.”

This all being said, I did tell a huge, very elaborate lie to the children at work recently, ha. Basically, I went to Ireland in 2019, and when I started working at my current after school site, I mentioned to a kid offhanded that I met a leprechaun there and became friends with him. I meant it as like... a joke, you know? But the kid fully believed me and was so excited. She asked if the leprechaun would come visit for St. Patrick’s day, and I was like “uhhhhh yeah?” So, from then on, I have had to not only keep up this lie but expand it. Last year my “leprechaun friend” got married. This year, he had twins. I communicate with my leprechaun friend via letters that I translate (badly, I tell the kids) into Irish, and he replies with letters written in “ancient Irish.” The kids absolutely LOVE it. I have no idea if they all believe me, but even the fourth and fifth graders are super into it, and even if they don’t believe me, they don’t let it show.

Last year I had the children write my leprechaun friend letters, which they (badly. VERY BADLY) translated into Irish and wrote on a paper, which my “leprechaun friend” had to painstakingly translate and then write a response to over 7 different children. Then “he” had to make the paper looks old and worn, since it would be suspicious if a thousands year old creature wrote on crisp white printer paper. It was. Not fun. So, my “leprechaun friend” refused to write them letters this year, since a student last year (no, of course I don’t know who, and even if I knew I wouldn’t tell you, stop being so nosy child) showed their letter to someone they weren’t supposed to and my “leprechaun friend” was unhappy, since “he” specifically told me to tell them not to do this.

Yeah. It’s, uh. It’s getting a bit much. Every time a kid asks a new question, I have to quickly come up with a lie. And I’m like… a good liar, right? But dang is it a lot. 😅(Also I don’t feel too bad about lying, since it’s less lying and more making believe, you know? And I hope that when the kids look back, they won’t think “oh my god my after school teacher lied to me for years!!!” and they will think “Oh wow. My after school teacher spent so much time and effort creating an elaborate story for us because she genuinely cared about us.” Or something like that, ha.)

🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately

Nothing really? Not anything bad or major, at least. I mean, I’ve been thinking about the end of my grad program a lot, but not in a bad way.

🦴 ⇢ is there a piece of media that inspires your writing?

I mean… yeah? Lots of media? That’s what fanfic is, it’s writing inspired by various media. If you mean, like… writing style, then no. I just write how I think (as shown above with my leprechaun friend rant, ha). It’s why my work has a lot of ellipses and introspection and random details that aren’t really important, but add to the vibe of the scene, you know?

🍅 ⇢ give yourself some constructive criticism on your own writing

I’m a bit weak when it comes to plot. Like, anything more advanced than “character A likes character B but is all conflicted over it” is a struggle for me. The few fics I wrote that actually have plot always go off the rails at some point, since I always go too big and get stuck. It’s one reason why all my fics are very same-y and follow similar troupes. But honestly? I don’t really care. I like writing similar fics with different environments with simple plots. I much prefer exploring the characters and their motivations and their emotions than focusing on plot.

🐚 ⇢ do you like or dislike surprises?

Depends on the surprise.

🪲 ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here

Ha, I did this last night when I first saw this post, here you go:

“That makes it easy to ignore them and just enjoy everything else.

Once the group exits the elevator, they collectively pause for a moment, taking in the sight before them. And, honestly, Mondo gets it. He’s never been one for fancy as fuck surroundings, preferring simple shit and small luxuries over anything stupidly elaborate. But this…? He’s gotta admit. /This/ is fucking nice.”

Have fun trying to figure out the context of this. :-)

☁️ ⇢ what made you choose your username?

When I was, like… thirteen or fourteen I created a Facebook page for A Very Potter Musical/Sequel, entitled Red Vines, What the Hell Can’t They Do? (A quote from one of the Potter musicals). Since I was a Draco fan, my “Admin name��� was ~Draco. But once I added more admins to help me run the page, I decided to make my own Admin page, since that was very popular back in the day. I didn’t want to just be ~Draco, though. Honestly, I don’t know if I was allowed to be, since it’s not exactly a unique page name. So, I changed it to Draco the Death Eater. A couple weeks or so later I saw a Draco themed cupcake and though “!!! I WANNA BE A CUPCAKE!!!” since I was like. Twelve. And overly excitable.

I thought “Draco the Cupcake” looked weird though, so I added back the Death Eater element and settled on “Draco the Death Eating Cupcake.” Then I began using my Admin page a lot more and got over 200 likes, which back then meant you couldn’t change your page name again, so I was kinda stuck as “Draco the Death Eating Cupcake.” I didn’t mind though. I kinda liked the name. Ever since, it’s been kinda my thing, using it over various websites and whatnot. It’s “my brand” I guess you could say. Even though I’m very anti J.K. Rowling, I do harbor some nostalgic affection for Harry Potter, and I refuse to let her steal something I’ve built for myself over the past decade and a half, you know?

🐝 ⇢ tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them

Ah, this is another one I don’t really want to do. Like I said earlier, I don’t like tagging people in general, but I also don’t like singling out “biggest supporters” for the same reason I don’t like having “favorite” people. It just feels icky to me, you know? Because everyone who supports me, no matter how small, means so, so much to me. You could be here every single day, following me and screaming my praises, or you could give me a single “I like your work!” and it means the world to me. And that’s not to downplay the more vocal supporters! You all know who you are, and I hope you know how very honored I am to have your support. I don’t like singling people out, though, since A) it’s sometimes awkward for the person who is begin singled out and B) it might make other supporters who I either didn’t mention or forgot to mention or who aren’t quite as big feel bad, which I don’t want to do. It’s the same thing I say whenever the kids at work ask me who my favorite is. I always reply “no one. I don’t have a favorite student since I like you all in different ways. Yes, even the more challenging ones.”

That all being said… to everyone who has ever supported me, big or small, I really do appreciate you so, so much. When I started writing at 13, I was so incredibly critical of my work, and a lot of the comments I got back then were “con crit” that just made me feel worse, even if it was genuinely constructive. I struggled with “show, don’t tell” a lot and it frustrated the hell out of me because I couldn’t figure it out for the life of me. Even now, when I am so much better at writing and don’t feel ashamed admitting that, I still feel that anxiety of not being good enough. Of not knowing enough. So, to have people not only enjoy my work, but be so supportive? It genuinely means the world to me. So… thank you.

🌸 ⇢ do you have any pets? if you do, post some pictures of them

Yep! I have two little fluff buckets, Rosie and Addle (Adelaide for long). They are guinea pigs and they are very cute and very dumb. :-)

The first two I took today, the other three on previous days. It's them chilling in their hay box we give them, ha. They love climbing in their and kicking the other one out. They... don't like each other much. They don't fight, but they also don't really interact except to try and steal the other's food (which is what's happening in the top photo, ha). Addle is the brown-ish, black, and white colored one, while Rosie is the black and white one. Rosie is five and Addle is three. Rosie used to have an original cage mate, Sara, but she sadly passed after a quick illness that started on Thanksgiving in 2021, since we couldn't get her to a vet thanks to the holiday. It was very sad and I still miss Sars. :-( She was such a little sweetie.

For reference, Sara:

RIP little girl... :-(

🎨 ⇢ link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it

Ehhhh I’m too tired to go looking for fanart I like, so I say no for now.

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

If it’s first person POV. I don’t know why, but first person POV in fanfiction always bothers me, and only in very rare instances have I read first person POV fics. More often than not I immediately back out and move on. Again, no shame to people who like first person, but it’s just never been my cup of tea.

[ideaamachine]

Hi!

Ok so I’ve technically used tumblr as an outsider (on my browser) for 5 years because I was too lazy/unable to make an account but now I’m and “adult” in “college” who can “make my own decisions” and so I bit the bullet and made a tumblr but honest to god have no idea how to carry myself on this platform 💀 it’s like being an outsider and then finally getting into the club but then you don’t know what to do with yourself now that you’re in.

I’m not a total idiot; I know how tags and such work, but as for actually posting and making a “blog” I am clueless. All I ask is you bear with me as I try to figure this out.

Additionally this is my “first post” so I plan to get some generic info about me out of the way so nobody is confused:

I am a passionate writer for both my own original work (you will probably not see) and fanfiction (you might see once in a blue moon). I have a terrible writing schedule on account I am busy with college and various other life things as well as my indecisiveness when it comes to picking a story and sticking with it. I have been desperately trying to finish a Clive x reader (FFXVI) for two months but I’ve also started reading Bleach (worst mistake of my life) and have been fighting the urge to write something for that.

All that is just a fancy way of me lowering your expectations if I happened to post a story that’s more than 1 part. I try to stick to one shots for obvious reasons.

In the future I MAY take suggestions for certain things/fandoms but that’s a HUGE maybe.

Also, I don’t know if I’ll ever post anything 18+ or spicy on here since tumblr is a little more picky with rules and ratings than say ao3 (I swear you can get away with murder on there) and I’m nervous and don’t want to get smited (banned) by the hand of god (tumblr staff). So incase I happened to post something on ao3…my name is ideaMachine (fittingly I have no posts yet 🫠).

That all being said, thanks for reading this far and I’m sure to either update or remove this post when I get more comfortable with this space. If anyone who stubbles across this totally dumpster fire post is kind enough to offer advice feel free to do so.

OR

TLDR: I’m a tumblr noob, please be patient because I’m new to posting here. Don’t expect consistent updates or posting, my ao3 is ideaMachine incase I post something spicy.

Thank you :)

[crystalcatgamer]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tag by @havenotwillnotreadthebooks, lo, Kefi!

How many works do you have on AO3?

122 🎵 I’ve orphaned and deleted a few along the years, though.

What fandoms do you write for?

Uhhhh. Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint (ORV), Boboiboy, Jujutsu Kaisen and more. Currently really, really fixated on One Piece though I haven’t written fic yet, but am cooking so much toxic doomed brothers food (Donquixote Bros)

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Vis la goddamn DSMP phase always going to be my biggest mark in the world. Excluding discontinued fics and stuff I’m not happy with anymore for now…

Run, run (Here comes the boy) 1415 kudos

May the odds (Be ever in your favour) 1203 kudos

There are days where I don’t know the person in the mirror (And there are days I don’t care) 1161 kudos

Hold you in my hands like hot tea 1155 kudos

Knowing I’m safe cause you want me 1052 kudos (A sequel to fourth place!)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I respond to every single comment I can, though sometimes I might miss some! I’ll catch them months later lmao. It’s always fun to chat with ppl about what’s in my fic

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I’ll call out your name, but you won’t call back. This is an ORV fic, doomed Doksoo (beloved) and since it’s canon compliant… yeah. ‘Twas full of angst that came from love.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

The deep blue of summer nights. This was a cute ORV fic born of me wanting to write Secretive Plotter’s birthday being celebrated by ABFD, SWK and Uriel! They’re my fav rare dynamic

Do you get hate on fics?

I think the closest I got was some discourse on my DSMP fic? To be expected, and it was cleared up soon enough!

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I did like years ago lmao, tucked into the depths of the internet. Definitely not on main, for this is a family friendly account sir. It was fun in a way but also I hated writing it most of the time??? More of a reader than a writer I would say. As for what kind… while, I wrote what I liked ☆

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I HAVE THREE (3) CROSSOVERS AND THEY’RE BOTH WITH JUJUTSU KAISEN. Maybe I’m more insane over JJK then I thought I was. In my defence they’re easy to cross. Okay so basically my craziest one is this ORV X JJK one (Something blue, something new) in which I wrote the ship Kim Dokja x Gojo Satoru because I was commissioned to

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope and I hope I never do!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have not, but as long as people ask first I’m always open to it.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

A FNAF fic I wrote with Kefi (the one who pinged me for this game): Many vegetables, one soup, and a work full of original poems with @thenamelesshaven: You are made of the sea and the stars (and one day you are going to find yourself again)

What’s your all time favourite ship?

[glances at my art gallery] Recently, LawLu from One Piece and… Sharron/Maric from Lord Of The Mysteries

What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

We Shouldn’t Be This Kind Of Tired At Our Age! An ORV fic featuring Yoo Mia witnessing Yoo Joonghyuk’s changes with every turn!

What are your writing strengths?

Uhhhh. Being able to churn out stuff at the speed of light. And writing angst (lol)

What are your writing weaknesses?

Actually having a proper outline, ehe. It’s why I usually write one-shots.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Uhhhh I? Might do it some day? I’m just a bilingual guy who barely passed Chinese. It’s cool when other people who know what they’re writing about do it in their fics tho.

First fandom you wrote for?

Ehe. VIS LA BOKU NO HERO ACADEMIA (MY HERO ACADEMIA) but the fic’s been orphaned to the void ✌🏻

Favourite fic you’ve written?

Woah. Tough question, scrambling for it… this one! when I look in his eyes, well, I just see the sky. It’s a Black Butler fic I wrote recently for Whumptober (2023), Elizabeth Midford centric! I love her a lot <3

[invvuu]

please read !! (addressing asks about wips and writer activity)

hey there. i don’t want this to be serious but i want to get this off my chest and just simply say it. i know i haven’t been active in enhablr as a writer, however i just want to iterate that i am a writer that only writes for their own enjoyment. i’ve been receiving asks about love ethan and whisker in love, both in which are smaus for heeseung and jungwon respectively, and all of them were about when i was going to post more chapters.

regarding their continuation, i do have plans to continue them. it’s just that my motivation to actually do it hasn’t been that well, especially with all of the asks that were piling up ever since i came back in january. not only that but the community for enhablr here has definitely contributed to my lack of motivation to continue doing those smaus, maybe writing for enha in general.

again, i haven’t really been an active enha writer ever since i actually started this blog. in actuality, i’ve joined the community way back in late 2021 as a reader and i was honestly surprised that enhablr even existed in the first place. when i began reading other writers’ works i was completely interested in them and it made me want to join. however, as you can see, i joined pretty much later than i expected to and i kind of regret that i did.

the reason for that being the completely unnecessary toxicity that came about in this community. i don’t want to expound more on that as it is pretty self explanatory for what it is in on itself.

going back to my activity here as a writer and posting works, again, i’m doing this purely out of my own enjoyment and my own enjoyment is not me posting my works consistently. as much as i want to cater works to readers who stumble upon my account, i also want to have fun without being pressured to post works as if it’s an actual job. in other words, i’ll be posting works if i feel like it and if i ever finish anything from the current wip list that i have.

regarding you who dreamt of me, my sunghoon ao3 series, i do have plans on starting it, but again my motivation is practically fluctuating right now. however, i do have a good amount of progress on it. it’s just that it definitely won’t be released soon, as of now the first five chapters are fully written with them not being edited yet !!

next thing i want to address is that i’ll be writing for honkai star rail, which obviously isn’t kpop or even enhypen for the matter. i’m saying this because people in enhablr can apparently be tilted by the fact that writers aren’t writing for them or aren’t producing content on what they want. so i will state that right now, as it was mentioned earlier, i won’t really be focusing on enha works, and emphasis on enha.

lately, i haven’t really been aware of what enha has been doing or what is going on in their fandom so my current interest in them is pretty much on the down low. for txt and xdz, i do have a couple of wips for the members, just remember the part with my motivation and me taking my time in writing and finishing the wips. in the meantime, i’ll mostly focus on honkai star rail and perhaps on other content that obviously won’t be kpop (lol).

i didn’t mean for this to be long but you know, i have to do the classic call out and explanation that many enhablr writers have been doing for the past year and a half.

but anyways, 1) i won’t be a consistently and active writer and 2) i’m taking most of my attention from enhypen and focusing it on other fandoms i’m in (majority of it being on honkai star rail).

i also don’t mean for this to be that much of a big deal but again, i wanted to make it clear and put a stop to the asks flooding my inbox about my activity as a writer.

[lacunasbalustrade]

Actually, although I haven’t even touched this book yet, it’s played such a huge part in my life. This is bringing up memories…..

[Warning. Traumadumping below.]

When I was thirteen, to the beginning of fourteen, I was intensely obsessed with Zodiacs. I also happened to be on Wattpad. That place had a lot of zodiac stories and because the search filter was so bad (I feel lucky to have ao3 now), I started a recommendation book for wattpad’s zodiac stories. because of Subaru’s recommendation of this book, I named it the Zodiac Train, in homage to the Buddyfight I loved so much. I had an online friend whom also lived Buddyfight, pretty much, and she’s still a lot older than me. Because we were friends, she joined the Train to help me manage the book. For context, I was only allowed one hour of handphone time a day back then, so I was having a lot of trouble keeping the book up, but I also didn’t want to disappoint my readers, who had grown into a really treasured audience of mine despite my unprofessional writing and spontaneous awards that you couldn’t submit your own writing to.

lots of people ended up joining the train.

I was really happy at first, especially since I have no real life friends. Since a toxic friendship in primary school, I’ve been alone of my own choice, uninterested in people who might hurt me in ways I can’t withdraw from, people who I won’t be able to get away from afterward. I’m still like that.

we were talking about doing real life meet ups, and I thought everything was well, but I guess I was a stress factor to them. I kept throwing out ideas for new projects because I was enthusiastic and wanted to discuss fun things with them, and they kept agreeing because they thought they could manage. I won’t say I don’t know, because I do - I was not doing as much as they hoped I would be doing, and I couldn’t do more than what I already was doing, and I told them as much.

soon they started complaining. Not quietly, not take-you-aside complaining. They were complaining about me right to my face, saying that I was lazy, saying that I was forcing a lot of things on them, that I was spoiled and guilt tripping them into doing things, things that they had agreed to but later considered a bad idea. All that was on me.

they apologised afterwards.

I quit Wattpad, I quit the discord account I was using, I left. And I didn’t get back into the online world until about a year later, when I made friends with a Cardfight Vanguard fic writer.

I don’t know why I’m sharing this. I don’t know why I’m saying this. I loved the time I spent with them before everything got demanding and the pressure flattened me into cardboard. I wish I had said goodbye properly. No one of them has an alive account anymore. I could never hate Buddyfight, but I did hate what happened to that friend of mine in the fandom, how I wasted her time. Up till the end, someone in the Train deleted the book. No one else had the password. No one knew who had done it. It sounds ridiculous, deleting a book headed by a thirteen year old girl to be petty, but it happened.

I’m still, scared that I’m too much. I’m scared to death that I am hurting someone without knowing it, that they feel obligated to follow up. That I’m going full steam ahead and ignoring them picking up on the places I’ve slacked. I am afraid that I will break a place that I loved again. And I’m afraid that people will hurt me with the things I’ve made again. I don’t think I would have even come here if it hadn’t seemed quiet and solitary and safe.

It’s not quiet, or safe, or solitary anymore, but it’s better than that because how do I say that I have come full circle, back to this book? Back to the milky railroad, and this time with a friend who treasures me more than I could ever know? Back to the places I truly loved rather than a place that made me die on the inside?

i'm only like 1/4 through kenji miyazawa's "night on the galactic railroad" but i can already tell why subaru likes it and recommended it to mel [x]