#it’s all just a mess for me rn
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Well now I just feel like a freeloader 😐
i needed to read this today so im sharing it to all of you!!
#I’m not saying my age but I’m not 15 anymore that’s for sure. And yet I still don’t have a job.#i can’t decide what kinda job I wanna aim for as my first. There are two places within a short walking distance of my home and-#—they’re both pretty big coffee place chains so. Yeah.#I wanna do retail as my first job to get the experience and to finally experience a Karen story#but I’m so scared of getting a job now and I also was recommended a job by a friend and I wanna work there too but I would-#—need to drive there and I don’t have a car nor can I drive legally yet#it’s all just a mess for me rn#so yeah this just makes me feel like a bitch#AND OLD. IM FUCKING OLD.#wordz
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THIRTY-ONE DAYS OF GHOST ⛧ DAY ONE
first song you heard — Mary On A Cross
September 1969; Papa Nihil and the beginning of the Ghost Project take to the stage at the Whiskey a Go Go club in Los Angeles, under the watchful eye of Sister Imperator. Fifty-three years later, in Tampa, Florida, Papa Emeritus the Fourth performs Mary On A Cross, unaware that he is singing the story of his parents—and that of himself.
#note: i'm aware this song is about so much more than the fictional ghost story. just really enjoying that aspect of it rn#very nearly didn't do this series because some people are a bit silly about fans who heard moac as the first song. i'm owning it sdkjcksh#it wasn't the song that made me a fan as i will show in the next post but moac slaps so hard and#if you only like moac and nothing else you're still a ghestie to me <3#not my fault i was on instagram in autumn of 2022#i was going through some stuff then and listening to clips of this pretty song on random videos was something i enjoyed#didn't know the name of it or who sung it but kept hearing it at 4am when i couldn't sleep and everything was falling apart around me#when all i could do was try to escape it until the morning#i feel a bit stupid saying this but when i listen to it now and remember hearing it back then#it's like ghost was there for me even when i didn't know it#waiting for me to find them and everything their music would teach me#until the time was right#ghost31#papa emeritus iv#the band ghost#papa nihil#sister imperator#mary on a cross#user copia edits#user copia all tag#wait for the next tags i'm also tagging:#rite here rite now spoilers#i'm emotional about their messed up little family finding each other right at the very end. they never let each other go#flashing gif#<- ig
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I finally watched arcane s2
#no one talk to me I am so emo rn#anyways…. this is just a rlly quick and rough warmup because I cannot draw anything related to arcane without being a blubbering mess#and crying all over my iPad#so that’s why it’s kind of bad lol#it’s meant to be bad#I cannot listen to remember me without tears swelling up in my eyes#anyways…… im gonna go recover by playing stupid toilet humour games#arcane#timebomb#shroomer's sketches !#ekko#jinx
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Sketching
#me when idk what to draw: what if adam stabbed steve again#what if i drew my guys 3/4 facing left again#i love them#this brush hurts my hand though#gotta press too hard. gotta mess with it#looks nice though. probably entirely unnecessary and I'll go back to my beloved hard round#ol reliable#anyways back to sleep for me and then back to work#4 episodes through book 4#7 to go#and then thays a HUGE thing off my list#im just going ham on it#cause then i just have packages and episodes and commissions and patreons#all of which are like. episodes 90% and everything else fits clean in the 10%#this rn is like 50/40/10#very split between my things#and for my next comic im hoping for more like 70/30#sketches#ok bye my arms and hands hurt#just using posts recently to update where im at#I think we're on track to return oct 21 still#5 weeks ish#thats enough time for the book and 3 eps#can not wait to finally not have my attention split...#books take so much energy and time sobs
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morrotober!!! october... mor like... hawktuahber!!!!! 😂😂😂🤣
#ninjago#:3#parcaeive#ninjago morro#umm yeah i was messing around with my artstyle im going thru a crisis rn...#ill just have. Three. i guess.#for someone who doesnt care that much about him i sure do have a lot of madeup lore for him#hes so interesting to me (half the shit of 'Him' was made up. By me)#ninjago chafacgers are all my ocs actually#who wants to hear me yap about my fake made up morro lore??? (the crowd goes...silent!!!! crickets emerge from the ground)#STOP! WAIT STOP!!! PAWS YOU BY THE ANKLES!! LISTEN...#ive been meanng to draw this for so long but . uni 😒😒😒#midterms this weej and my ass hasnt studied ok guys wish me luck#aso the preeminent... 🤤🤤 my fav eldritch horror 🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤
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[asmr boyfriend voice] woof woof bark bark
#hermitaday#rendog#rendog fanart#hermitblr#hermitcraft fanart#ren#my art#did i ever tell you guys me getting mcyt at all was because i watched lizzies last life pov late at night while i was sick#and ren just. stole my heart#i knew nothing about him or hermitcraft at a time i was just like this guy is so fucking weird. i need to know more#and when i searched him up the first thing i got was the inappropriate compilation#really good first impression. never recovered from it#so yeah my mental state currently is rendogs fault#anyway ive always kinda had trouble drawing him. had to pull up alot of references for this one but i think this is the happiest ive been#-with his design.#idk what it is. i think it's partially because rens got a very model like face irl and im intimidated. guy could be selling watches.#the beard + glasses combo also messes with me i think#he always looks so accursed before i slap the facial hair on him#uhhh i don't think i have any other thoughts to say. good boy good boy goodboy good boy good boy#i might make a postmortem on hadm later on rn im tired. would be fun i think. id get to finish my scrapbook
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(Bitter) Sweet! Art & Drabble
For @divinit3a Café Lunch Rush prompt list! There's still plenty of time before the first prompt is due (Jan 12th), and there's 2 other prompts as well for the month! Definitely check it out lovelies! <3
Drabble name: Instability Of The Heart Contents: Sun x reader, Heavy Pinning, Bitter Sweetness Chosen Words: Clouds, Opals, Celebration, Star-crossed, Letting Go, Hope, Candle Word Count: 1,625
(Close Ups are also at the bottom <3)
It’s been a whole year…
Unsure how to approach the festivities now, Sun decided to find a quiet spot instead, spending all morning setting things up to participate in his own way. He couldn't not join in, but it just wouldn't be right to go back into the thick of it either.
The not-too-far-off town square, only a mile below his expanse of cloud, is alive in the lieu of celebration. The live orchestra plays the same casual songs, their passion dying the expanse of clouds they rest upon pink with their infectious energy, and the music drifts up clear as day to his ears despite the distance. The community brightens at each strum of a chord, chatter so lively that they create lyrics to their own song. They all are so alight that even once the sun sets, not even a single candle will be necessary to keep the festival bathed in a warm glow.
Sun sighed as he looked towards his namesake, feeling both relief and dread seeing it only moved a little since he last checked, located slightly past the center of the sky above him. Any moment now the square should clear its center and engage in its Hearthwarming Dance.
A spark crackles in his chest, sending longing pangs to his heart and head. It swirls through the burning magma and dips through every ligament, the tips of his fingers and toes buzzing with the itch to do something.
He turns to his partner, waiting for the first note of the new song to swell before grabbing their soft hand and whispering,
“May I have this dance?”
Without his usual banter, Sun embraces them and sways to the familiar beat without hesitation.
Upon closing his eyes, he is suddenly not dancing on a patchy field of clouds, but rather upon a lively opal plaza shimmering in the warm sunlight; the polished stone reflecting all those lovely pink clouds to create a mosaic, speckled with a rainbow of beautiful color.
Yet, the way you shined changed everything. It had completely ruined his view of beauty.
Your smile glistened through the sheer cloud of stardust that orbits around your form. Your eyes were as hypnotic as the ring of light you absorb, blindingly white before turning into a pitch black that's impossible for him to comprehend. He could barely even remember what you wore that day, too busy memorizing your face.
You were a star that had gone supernova, a rarity unseen for the last 3 centuries, let alone for a star of your kind.
Even the thought of your imagery causes him to inhale sharply. He clutches at his partner tightly, mindless of the give as he steps around in a traditional dance.
You were so scared when the change happened all those months ago...
Sun had found you holed up in your dark room, begging him to not look at you. He had initially come over to barge down your door for being an hour late to meet him, only to find your home was unlocked. It wasn't too unusual, so he welcomed himself inside, used to doing so after years of friendship.
His bitterness over how you kept him waiting for so long evaporated at finding your tearful state, almost unrecognizable if it weren't for your usual wear and voice.
He's still ashamed to say that he was enraptured by you despite the state you were in.
You were a glimmering dwarf star before, enchanting enough as is, and yet somehow you turned into something even more bewitching, compounding his years of desire into something even stronger. It felt right. Not to see you sad, but to see you in that form. Everything about it felt like you. The pull was indescribable in every step he took, the very essence of you invading his senses.
As soon as he recounts reassuring you, drying your tears, and pulling you into a hug; he snaps back to having you in his arms in the light of day, grasping his right hand and prancing with ease across the square, expertly avoiding other participants.
The magnetic pull is intense, the need to somehow get closer and closer was nearly impossible to ignore. He wanted to run away from such a force, yet he only clutched your hand tighter as he spun you, pulling your back into his chest and locking you there for a beat too long.
He was so afraid that you could read his every move, regardless of knowing your sheer obliviousness to his desires.
You always playfully indulged his yearly insistence of being your dance partner, yet nothing had come of it from either side. But this time, his gaze was constantly locked with yours, unable to break contact. His possessive grip had ensnared you, barely leaving even an inch between you. He couldn't help but pause, disregarding the mass of bodies moving around him, wanting to hold you forever.
How could it not be obvious?
Regardless, he knew it was inevitable he'd spill out his soul to you soon, barely able to restrain his lips from colliding into yours at that very moment.
He hoped, he prayed, he begged like a mantra to the celestial mother that you'd feel the same. That this magnetism isn't so one sided. That restraint would one day be unnecessary and he'd finally be able to drink in the flavor of your kiss.
Only mere seconds had passed when he released you from his hold, continuing the dance as if nothing happened. Perhaps to you, nothing did happen.
Would that explain what had happened?
He spent that whole day with you, following you to vendors with traditional carbon foods and indulging in your proximity as you'd graze hands and bump shoulders on occasion, finally left comfortably alone as the town's people were accustomed to your new appearance by then.
He was more than happy to scoop you up the moment you said you were getting tired and overwhelmed. You insisted that you didn't want the fun to end, but he could tell by the sound of your voice that you at least needed a change of pace.
The sun was setting when he leapt up stray puffs of clouds to the field above the plaza. He pranced in circles, leaping gaps to the dying beats of music, and teasing about dropping you through them when you didn't believe he could cross. Your rivers of laughter only fueled his audacity, as he never wanted to hear them end. Inevitably, his foot barely slipped off the edge of one of his more daring jumps, causing the two of you to fall forward and collide with the cloud beneath you.
Despite the grunt the two of you made at the impact, you were quick to laugh at Sun’s failure, teasing him about his cockiness biting him in the behind.
But Sun couldn't ignore the press of his body on top of yours, the echoing melody of your voice ensnaring his throat, refusing to allow him to even draw breath, let alone words. His mind fogged over, the only reprieve to his pinning troubles all pointed towards you, and he desperately needed that relief.
Your lips were more delicious than he could have ever dreamed of, your endearing expression was wide eyed and glowing.
Glowing so much that he actually had to close his eyes for a moment to recuperate, despite how much he wanted to savor your appearance.
And then with a fluttering blink, he's back in the present, kneeling down in the same position over some sad facimally of you. The cloud he molded this morning was mangled already from his delusions, but due to his fall it had melded into the cloud below it, its pink color feeling more taunting than sweet.
Sun looked down at his hand to find a tiny piece of said cloud still in it, a tear welling up in his eye.
It was too fitting.
In that original moment, it was as if you dissolved right in his arms after that kiss, but he refuses to believe anything bad happened. He searched your home, your favorite places, and even contacted your friends and family. No one knew where you were.
Some believed you to be dead after he finally admitted what happened between the two of you.
He vehemently denied that possibility, despite the plausibility. You were barely older than he was, still spry with centuries of life ahead of you. You couldn't just die from a kiss…
The only spark of hope he was given was when he questioned one of the elder Neutron stars, one of whom recalled personally knowing a singular supernova; one who had been taken suddenly to a world beyond the sky to contain their unstable make up. They had returned only once to explain their departure, before saying goodbye for their next one shortly after.
Sun brought the small puff of cloud to his lips – it should have been your hand.
He couldn't repress the tear that escaped him.
It's been a year since your disappearance. He still hasn't given up on his star-crossed lover, if he may even call you that. Your sudden departure left him wanting, stagnant, unsure of so many things.
If you reciprocated, wouldn't you have come back to him by now..?
Overtime, many have caught onto his depressed demeanor and advised him that it's best to learn to let go.
Preaching that waiting is fruitless.
Denouncing the Neutron’s tall tale of some magical plain snatching you away.
Scolding Sun for ruining his life over some runaway star.
However, he cannot help it; you own all the hope he has left. As he is unfortunately, completely, woefully in love with you.
Close Ups!
#Mwehehe had to go all out for the first prompt#tried not to spoil in the content description <3#I am SO PROUD of this!!!!!! Both the art and writing!!!#I love pastels but I also immediately thought up a story when I thought of the image I wanted to draw#So!!! Did both!!!#>:DDD#Loads of fun experimenting with ideas!#Sad boi hours#I decided to do a Sun centric drabble/art because I have done enough Moon only stuff#Like I'm doing a Moon centric fic that's around like 30k words in rn...#SUN NEEDS SOME TIME TO SHINE#But trust it was tempting to make this about moon when I started drawing... Oh my goodness the blue swatch taunted me so#Like I even messed around with layer filters and lord have mercy#Moon was trying to drag me back anytime I went over something grayscale or blue looking#Obsessed...#But! I am VERY happy I stuck with Sun though!!!#He came out SO WELL I was STRUGGLING with the sun texture for so long#CafePrompts25#dca fandom#dca community#dca art#fnaf sun#Sundrop#dca au#I just made this au on the spot...#Yes they are all stars that live in the clouds ✨#My art#x reader#x y/n#Sun x reader
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☆ decadence divine [ act I ]
{☆} characters arlecchino, neuvillette, furina {☆} notes yandere, drabble, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings yandere content, stalking (implied), kidnapping (implied) {☆} word count 2.3k
ARLECCHINO
Arlecchino was wont to leave social gatherings to her subordinates– the private meetings were where she thrived. It was so much easier to lure your prey into a trap when you didn't have prying eyes and ears waiting for the barest hint of blackmail.
She clicked her tongue in distaste, her eyes narrowing beneath the mask of the fox as she set down her cup sharply. It was difficult as it was to draw them from the safety of their bubble– at the slightest hint of danger, her quarry would run. A chase would be fun, but she couldn't risk getting caught here. The political nightmare it would cause..it already gave her a headache. She had to be discreet.
They weren't making it easy, however.
Which is why she never liked crowds. But this chance didn't come by every day. She wasn't going to simply let it pass by because of a little danger. She'd have them eventually, it was just a matter of how. There were already numerous of her own lingering in the crowds, hidden beneath the masks that every patron bore. It was difficult to stand out amongst the flurry of masked patrons constantly shifting around the room, moving from one conversation to another, gliding from one dance partner to another.
Her heeled boots clicked sharply against the tile as she stalked through the crowds, keeping a wide berth yet always lingering nearby– she was sure they could feel the vague sense of being watched, but with the huge crowds..her lips quirked into a grin with the barest flash of teeth. There were a great many ways to break them in– she'd spent a great amount of time and mora to get anything she could for blackmail, if she so wished. She had the backing of the Fatui as well if she played her cards right– it wouldn't be difficult to convince them that they were a valuable target, and none of them would dare to question just what she did with them afterwards.
Perhaps a bit of play, first. Test the waters. She was familiar with playing the polite gentleman, despite her status as a Fatui Harbinger. Stage something for her to intervene, perhaps, to look the hero. The look of shock when she revealed the wolf beneath the wool..she could see it already. That wide, doe-eyed look as they realized the monster they've followed blindly like a lost lamb..she was beginning to see the appeal.
All it took was a few hushed words and subtle signals before the tiles started to fall in place, her hand gliding along their lower back as she leaned over their shoulder with a thin, predatory smile. She'd have to organize for the agent to be released later, her eyes following as the Gardes dragged him out of the room in a flurry of curses, but for now..she tilted her head to peer down at them, polite and almost apologetic.
"You aren't too startled, are you? Now now, there's no need to look so..scared, poor thing. I won't let another lay a hand on you," She cooed in a sickly sweet tone, the husky rasp of her voice whispered in their ear like dripping honey. "You have my word. Now, why don't we get you some fresh air? Come. Allow me to escort you."
Her lips pulled into a jagged grin at the relief in their eyes– the blind lamb following the shepherd as it led them into it's maw. Just a little longer, and she could finally have her own caged bird– a pretty thing to admire, to protect, to possess.
Something no one else would ever touch again. Something hers.
NEUVILLETTE
Neuvillette was not one for parties. The intricacies and delicate handling of public relations he oft left in the capable hands of Furina, rather then himself. It was only at her behest he even attended at all, but he still felt rather..out of place amongst the bodies constantly shifting through the ballroom like a constant rush of water from one end to the other, no rhyme nor reason to the flow. The only thing that kept him afloat among the tides was the mask of the deer obscuring his face– even if it was exceedingly difficult to truly hide himself among the crowds, most passed over him without second thought.
Though he had to be honest with himself, even if he couldn't bring himself to admit it to Furina despite her insistence that his attendance was mandatory. He had his own reasons for coming– selfishness that left a sour taste in his mouth. It was purely by chance he'd seen the briefest glimpse of them prior, and he..was intrigued, that was all.
He refused to let his thoughts linger on the sleepless nights he spent prying every piece of information he could from loose tongues and obscure documents, every moment he managed to squeeze in between trials spent lingering in their most favored locations– cafes, stores, restaurants, the like.
Now a masquerade.
He tried not to let the guilt gnaw at his conscious, but it lingered like an age old scar that still ached.
So he relegated himself to simply residing in the further corner, nursing a goblet of water like a fine wine, trying not to let his eyes stray to the brief glimpses of them through the ever moving bodies filling the center of the room, dancing like puppets in music boxes.
Still, his hand twitched in an instinctual desire– a need to clasp his hand in their own, to touch his lips upon their knuckles, to indulge in a moment of reprieve and unshackle himself from the mantle that bears heavy upon his shoulders. He seeks reverence, worship, but not of himself– but towards the one who had drawn the eye of the dragon amongst the waves of humans he'd seen come and go for a great many years.
No one could compare, he is certain. None have left him as breathless, as hopelessly infatuated, as the one who made him wish only to kneel at their feet in senseless reverence until he could no longer speak. A hopeless man, indeed, if he has never even truly met them.
Instead he's spent his time prying into their life from the shadows. Caution, or simple cowardice?
He dares not ponder.
Yet in his ceaseless pondering he'd blocked out the world without, failing to notice the figure stepping up beside him until their hand brushed against his elbow– just the briefest touch, but it had his pupils narrowing and his entire body tensing like a coiled spring. That touch..bliss. It left him breathless and lightheaded as he tilted his head to regard them, his lips parting in a shaky sigh. They are as beautiful as he remembers– even with their face obscured beneath the mask, he would never forget them.
"Greetings, Monsieur– I hope I didn't frighten you too much." Their laugh made him feel rather faint, just the sound of their voice making his hand tighten around his cane. "..Not at all. I was simply lost in thought." He admitted apologetically, trying to reign in the urge to cup their face between his palms. A dangerous thought. He didn't want to scare them off when they'd provided him a priceless opportunity.
"My apologies, you must have needed something. It was rude of me to have been so absorbed in my thoughts to have ignored you." He continued, gently turning to set his goblet down– offer them his full attention, be a gentleman. The words rang in his skull like a ceaseless alarm, blaring and rattling his thoughts as he gently took their hand in his own. It was a split second decision– an indulgence, but he could simply not help himself. Even with his gloves between them, he felt like he was going to lose his composure just from such a brief touch..
He truly was a hopeless man before an altar, praying for a salvation he intends to bury deep beneath the waves– to keep it hidden in the darkness of the depths that only he can reach. A selfish man, he must be, to even think of it, but it is an itch that he cannot scratch. A need that must be satisfied. He cannot allow any hands but his own to tend to them, to know what it feels to touch them, to hear their voice and see their eyes as he prays– prays like a man starved, devotion born of desperation.
"I hope I did not make you wait too long." He smiles, soft and affectionate, like the bloom of spring beneath the winters chill– yet just as deadly, only masked by the sweet fragrance of flowers.
He had waited too long.
No longer.
FURINA
Furina was right at home amongst the crowds– where the masks obscured the identities of most, it was impossible to not recognize the charming banter of the Hydro Archon beneath the mask of the lamb as she graced the masquerade with her presence, speaking with a silver tongue to any who would listen. A truly enthralled audience fitting for the grandest of performers in Fontaine.
But her eyes lingered not on the people who's praise dripped from their lips like honey– yet so very bitter upon her tongue. Even the mask obscuring her expression did little to hide the longing that had her visibly deflating like a popped balloon. She hated all the eyes on her, really– it was suffocating. She was only putting on a show in the foolish hope that they'd finally pay attention to her. Just her luck, she supposes, that instead she's had to throw herself straight into the role of Archon without a pay off..
They hadn't even spared her a glance! It would be infuriating if not for the fact she couldn't even keep her composure just seeing them across the room. They didn't even have to look at her and she could feel the heat rush to her ears as she forced another smile at the crowd gathered around her. It was unfair how easily they could fluster her without even knowing it– her heart was thumping so hard against her ribcage she felt like it might burst.
Her only solace was the fact none of the patrons seemed to realize she'd clocked out of the conversation, her thoughts and eyes lingering on the distant figure– what a lovestruck fool she makes..it was a chance encounter she'd seen them during one of her outings. That was all it took to enthrall her, evidentially, try as she might to have ignore it for months.
They never left her mind for longer then a day, in the end, and she had to face the fact they had managed to enrapture her so deeply she felt like a newborn lamb learning to walk whenever she so much as thought of them. What an embarrassment! She..she was the Archon, she had a reputation to maintain, she couldn't be seen fawning over a human.
But oh, she still longed for it, beneath the veneer of a God. She'd watched them more times then she'd admit even to herself, wishing to find herself in place of those who'd hands were cradled so casually in their own– to hear their voice, their laughter, as often as she pleased..like a fine delicacy she so badly wished to taste, yet so far from her reach.
Would they think her pathetic for her infatuation? She pursed her lips at the thought, trying to bury the sour mood beneath her faux image of the Archon. Yet it lingered, and with only the quietest of excuses, she slipped into the crowd like a ghost– she needed to leave before she did something..stupid. Neuvillette would surely have a few choice words with her if she did, and she was inclined to avoid such a fate.
She..she just needed a moment to collect herself was all. That was it. She could go back to playing Archon for a little longer, she just needed a moment to herself. At the very least, the balcony had been regarded as off limits so late into the party– which gave her an opportunity to slip out of the public view for the briefest of moments. A welcome reprieve– she was starting to feel suffocated amongst the crowds.
Perhaps on instinct, she reached for the mask, lifting ever so slightly away..only to let out a startled yelp at the touch of a hand on her shoulder, the mask slipping back into place far too easily. It made her lightheaded, even now, but she dared not to dwell on it.
But when she turned sharply on her heel to chew out the person who'd followed her and had the gall to scare her..oh, she was done for, her ears flush with heat. The brief glimpse of their eyes beneath the mask, the curl of their lips as they smiled– her heart stuttered in her chest, and she was certain it had stopped all together when they clasped her hand.
"Y–you.." She wanted to be angry, to brush them off and leave with her rationality in tact, but the warmth of their hands on her skin rendered her speechless. She was no better then a fish on land, struggling to fill her lungs with air as she drew in a shaky breath. "Ahem, you caught me off guard. That's all. Surely you do not make it a habit to sneak up on people?" She huffed in indignation, trying to mask the fluster that threatened to break through her carefully crafted facade.
Ah, what a cruel twist of fate..she'd slipped away to escape their allure, but here they were, dragging her back into their orbit without even knowing how deep her infatuation ran. They were alone, too..it was a chance she wasn't sure she'd ever get again.
Maybe, just this once, she could do something for herself rather then everyone else.
She buried her guilt, the fear– buried it beneath the need to be seen.
"But if you want to make it up to me.."
#genshin impact#genshin impact yandere#genshin yandere#neuvillette x reader#yandere neuvillette#yandere neuvillette x reader#arlecchino x reader#yandere arlecchino#yandere arlecchino x reader#furina x reader#yandere furina#yandere furina x reader#fic tag#pats neuvillette this noodle dragon can be so pathetic#aiming for pathetic desperate and slightly guilty. it gnaws at him knowing he's keeping you like a bird in a cage#esp if you react extremely negatively hes like a kicked puppy#not outwardly but internally hes a MESS. sobbing crying wailing#furina and neuvi sopping wet kittens u found in a cardboard box in an alley#vs arle thinking abt all the crimes shes going 2 commit in the process w/o an ounce of guilt. blackmail? check. kidnapping? check.#a little murder for flavor. as u can see im coping horribly w being practically snowed in rn i need 2 be put down#its like 4 degrees out rn (fahrenheit) and getting colder ueueueue i am dying..........#only thing keeping me going is my furinameow plushie coming. eventually. staying strong just for her.................#also needs 2 be mentioned all the stories r separate ksjfkhdsf#no not everyone in fontaine is yan and trying 2 kidnap sorry for getting ur hopes up..#yet#anyway u cant convince me arle isn't bribing (or just straight up forcing) her agents into doing stupid shit so she can “save” you#and make you owe her#two silly goofy little creatures vs the personification of gaslight gatekeep girlboss (heavy on the gaslight)#also split this up in 3 parts bc. lol. lmao. im not writing 9 characters at once goodbye#also all the masks do actually have significance i have an entire essay on why i gave each animal to specific characters okay
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My commissions are open!!
I really hate pulling out the labels card for help; but if you could help at least spread this so two transwomen and a disabled transmasc (me) can afford rent, food, gas, and to pay off whatever extra nonsense a few ER visits this past 1-2months has stacked up because one of our insurances is acting dumb. One is between jobs, another is trying to find a better paying one that will give her more hours, and I'm too disabled to work. We're doing all we can, but we need a bit of help.
So let me do art for you about it! You can find all my information on my carrd and here on my tumblr . You can find all my art and more examples on my blog or on my instagram . If you have any questions, please feel free to email me and I'll get back to you asap.
Thank you so much <3!!
#artdemra#commissions are open#even just rbing will help a ton#i know the image is =w=;;; pathetic#i tried for several hours to do those nice spreadsheets people do with the prices on them with the images next to them#but everything i did looked bad or was just an absolute mess#id comm someone to do a nice formatting/layout for me but uH AHAHA B R O K E#ive also got some other things coming up but i didnt list them out bc i hate listing every tiny detail online ;n;#but stuff is rough rn and were just trying to live. i know our electricity is gonna be high bc its been 85-90 F out AGAIN#for several weeks and we are on the third floor so we literally cannot live without the ac running all day
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old unfinished neil doodles cuz i never POSTED ANY these were when i was still figuring out how i wanna draw everybody
#and rn im already messing w how i draw him again#art#scott pilgrim fanart#spvtw fanart#scott pilgrim vs the world#spvtw#scott pilgrim takes off#spto#young neil#neil nordegraf#all of these are the usual case for me of ''i hate how this looks im never posting these'' and then i just. wait and im like oh theyre okay#im getting more comfortable just posting sketches and junk even if i think it might look a bit dumb#also can u guess whos touchin him in the last one lollll
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Lately ive just been so busy with stuff (sigh) my motivation is totally not there rn, but i wanted to try drawing seigaku in my style!
i think they turned out pretty okay, but i think if i had more energy id change some things :333
#honestly im not rlly focused on tenipuri rn but i feel like drawing them always gets me out of artblock lollol#theyre not completely accurate but idrc+ i just think its fun to play with their designs#i thought about explaining my ideas for these in the tags but honestly im unsure lol#i feel like most of them are self explanatory?? kinda??#like kawamura seems to have rounder features in the show. i think. and a :3 mouth. but with inui its like. idk#with inui i feel like he looks like hes 30 years old lmao i just get the vibe#also i like giving tezuka very messy hair. i like to imagine he styles it perfectly but it gets messed up from wind or something lolol#also i thought abt doing all the schools but honestly thats wayyy too much for me lol. maybe ill try it out eventually#anyways. enough YAPPING or whatever the cool kids say#prince of tennis#prince of tennis fanart#tenipuri#tenipuri fanart#idk what else to tag.#seigaku#idc. go be free#sheetzking#unculturedswine69
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Bnha makes me so mad because it could’ve been good. It had a lot of good aspects. But in the end none of them were satisfyingly resolved so it just feels bad.
#UGHHHHHH ik a million people have made posts like this but it’s pissing me off rn!#the ‘unfortunately’ in my username is more pointed than ever#(not that I’ve had a lot of hope it’d end well for a long ass time.#it’s just frustrating to make me love these characters and get attached to this world and then execute their stories so terribly.)#honestly I’d probably change my username to smth else (and I still might) if I hadn’t had it for so long#it’d be annoying if it messed up links in my past posts#but having smth vanguard related might be fun…#bnha critical#mha critical#<- tagging those so no one jumps down my throat for stating an opinion on my personal blog#and like. I’m not doing this to be a hater. I LIKE these characters and some of this story is very near and dear to my heart#I’m also not saying everything I didn’t like is a writing flaw#and in fact a lot of the things I didn’t like I think should stay there just get meaningfully addressed#but good godddddddddd it’s upsetting to see a story I cared abt sm & I leaned on during some shit end like this#whatever.#I haven’t even actually been keeping up besides looking at the spoilers for years now#it’s not like I’m gonna stop thinking abt the version that lives in my head. it’s just a shame about the official ending that’s all.#at the end of the day I’m not the author horikoshi is and that’s how he chose to end his story.
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Sweaty gym selfie after a long day
#me#gym#gay#lgbt#gay selfie#I started carrying the cross body and it’s actually like so nice#to the gym I mean#I’ve always carried it around#it’s just so convenient for carrying all my stuff#my body is actually kinda messed up rn :/ but I’m working on figuring out what’s goin on
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a jayfeather drawing I did a couple of weeks ago that I forgot to post
#warriors#warrior cats#wc#thunderclan#jayfeather#I'm 99% sure I have not posted this yet#tw eyestrain#eyestrain#wanted to give a smidge of context to what's going on irl for me#because of the fact that i took on a lot of coms#and was basically drawing nonstop#in short I kinda messed up my hand#so i've been drawing in very small amounts to finish up my coms#i was able to see my doctor and yeah she told me to lay off the art and to wear a wrist splint#rn it just hurts horrendously to draw/write/etc#so I'm gonna be taking an art hiatus for the time being#cuz my dr said that at this rate I could get carpal tunnel at a young age#other than that! I'm good! <:) remaining extra positive#hope u guys have a wonderful rest of ur day#sorry for all the tags hahahaha#it just feels weird to make a long post or something haha
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have to keep repeating in my head; he’s leaving soon he’s moving out he’s got a job so he’s leaving in two months he’s moving out every time i see a mess my brother has made in the house
#he leaves a trail….#bathroom soaking fucking wet and covered in soap bubbles??? is he making potions????#kitchen sides covered in crumbs. hob covered in grease and bits of food. sink turning to mulsh at the joins bc he keeps it SOAKING FUCKING#WET. floors a mess. bins full. sofa cushions all over???????#I DONT GET ITTTTTT#SHOES IN THR MIDDLE OF THR HALLWAYS AND KITCHEN??#WASHING MACHINE DOOR WIDE OPEN MICROWAVE DOOR OPEN#no room in the fridge for my shopping bc it’s full of his alcohol…..#the list goes on. the man doesn’t get up until 2pm#i just..#im so frustrated#and my mum is like ‘he’s got nowhere else to stay and it’s so nice seeing him. it could be years before we see him again’ like girl be so#fucking real rn#we facetime him every week when he’s abroad and tbh i spoke to him more then than i do now - like he sits in another room from us. doesn’t#eat with us. when it was mums birthday he put up a fuss about sitting in the same room for takeaway liiiiike— idc if he had shit going on#that day either buck up for mums fucking birthday knobhead#i don’t see him bc im at work or he’s not awake when i am or when im in the house still#like yeah sure ‘won’t get to see him again’#should’ve just been like#promise?? 🤪🤪🤪#bc this is tooooo much now#he doesn’t change!!!! he doesn’t!!#i put a recycle bag at the front door to take out in the afternoon when i knew i was leaving the house but he left before me and i had to#ASK and point out the fucking bag and say ‘put that in the blue bin pls’#like if he’s staying here then pull ur weight if it’s ’your house too’#fucking HELLLLLLL#also might add that he’s staying here for free but uses the heating SO liberally like that bill is going to be sky high but it’s me and mum#that pay it 😐#and he’s been told.#just does it when we’re not in bc i caught him the other day with it on 24c which the radiators can’t even fucking reachhhh UGHHHHHHHHH
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I’m on the verge of giving in somebody needs to convince me to read tcoptp 😭🙏
#it will definitely mess up my huge list of books I need to read next *ahem blood of Olympus#sun and the star etc*#but the parasites inside of me need to#alsoooooo I’m watching all the Harry Potter films rn#(the first time I did I was super young and don’t remember any of it)#andddddd the brain rot is rotting away at my mind#let’s just say I miss my Pookies#but at the same time fics are SO emotionally draining for me likeee is it worth killing my souls and happiness? propably#does tcoptp have a happy ending I need to know#anyway crazy long tags oops a lot on my mind hehe#tcoptp#dead gay wizards#marauders era#marauders
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