#it’s actually kind of impressive at this point
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lgbtpolitics · 13 hours ago
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ANY desk job? Just any job, done at a desk? Service workers could just randomly do a decent day's work at everything from administration to accountancy to mathematical modelling? Give me a break.
Pretty much all jobs will require some degree of training, even when you've done the same thing before you'll probably need specifics of the company and in any case, obsessing over which type of jobs "aren't really hard" is nonesense and unproductive. Jobs are hard, workers are valuable, and it just isn't true that some people have a special ability to just do any jobs without training. Not to mention a fair bit of the service sector actually IS desk based.
A weird amount of people are under the impression that working in an office is essentially being the CEO. Reminds me of an article I saw that was talking about "middle class minimum wage workers", which basically boiled to "you're middle class if your job like... sounds cool".
This kind of thing is so annoying you do not have to devalue someone else's work to make a point about your own.
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solxamber · 23 hours ago
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Trash Novel Chronicles: Get Me Out of Here || Rook Hunt
You’re isekai’d into a trashy novel and stuck as a tragic side knight character. All you want is survival, but your boss is Rook Hunt—a poetic, eccentric duke.
Now you’re caught in his chaos and, worse, you kinda don’t mind.
Series Masterlist
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You’re a completely normal person. You eat normal meals at normal times, sleep the normal amount of hours (give or take a few, who needs all eight anyway?), and hold down a regular, soul-crushingly normal job. It’s not glamorous, but it pays the bills and lets you indulge in your one true love: reading web novels for five hours straight like some kind of feral literature goblin.
Your current obsession? The Lady’s Tragic Love. It’s the sort of story that you can’t put down—not because it’s good, but because it’s so excruciatingly terrible that it loops back around into comedy. The heroine has all the personality of a wet tissue but somehow manages to ruin everyone’s lives with reckless abandon. It’s almost impressive.
You rub your temples as you skim yet another chapter. “Oh my God, this woman has the moral compass of a black hole,” you mutter.
The plot makes less sense the deeper you go: the heroine starts off as the daughter of a down-on-their-luck noble family. Her father racks up an unholy amount of debt, so she’s forced to marry a viscount who—get this—is actually a nice guy. Like, genuinely kind. He agrees to marry her in name only to protect her from debt collectors, even offering to fund her hobbies.
And what does she do? Poison him. Poison him!
"Okay, maybe she's misunderstood," you think, in the kind of delusional optimism only a web novel enthusiast can muster.
Nope. She poisons him because she "can’t stand looking at his face," which is only mildly unattractive and not the ogre-like monstrosity the text implies. Also, he was literally helping her stay alive.
“Oh, sure, let’s kill the only decent male character in this hellscape. Why not?” you hiss, scrolling furiously.
After committing literal murder, the heroine sets her sights on an archduke, who is tall, handsome, and very much engaged to the so-called villainess. The villainess is stunning, kind, intelligent, and inexplicably hated by everyone because—checks notes—she’s too perfect?
At this point, you're gripping your phone so hard that it’s a miracle it doesn’t snap in half. “Why is the villainess the villain? This should be the heroine’s title! She’s practically speedrunning how to be the worst human being alive!”
But no, the heroine gets rewarded for her nonsense. The archduke doesn’t fall for her (because he has taste), but the crown prince does. The prince, apparently a sucker for chaos, marries her. Instead of being happy with her new title and riches, the heroine spends her days scheming to ruin the villainess’s life because, in her words, “How dare the archduke choose someone that isn’t me?”
You pause and reread that line. Then reread it again.
“WHAT?!” you yell so loudly that your downstairs neighbor bangs on the ceiling.
It’s a spiral of nonsense that drags you through emotional whiplash until you finish the last chapter with a migraine and a full-blown existential crisis. You stare at the screen. "Why...why did I do this to myself?"
You stumble out to your tiny balcony to clear your head, phone still in hand. The cool night air washes over you as you lean on the railing, your brain buzzing with rage and confusion.
“Why does she get a happy ending?” you grumble. “She’s a walking red flag factory! The villainess deserves to be queen, and the prince deserves a lobotomy for his taste in women!”
In your frustration, you kick the balcony railing. Unfortunately, your landlord hasn’t exactly been diligent about repairs. The rusted screws holding it in place give way with a terrifying screech.
“Oh, come on,” you say, deadpan, as the railing collapses beneath you.
You plummet ten stories down, bouncing off an awning like some kind of cartoon character before landing face-first in a suspiciously placed fruit cart.
As darkness creeps in, your final thought is not of regret, nor fear, but of pure, unfiltered pettiness:
“I hope my next life is more exciting… and I never have to read about this heroine again.”
With that, you pass out, blissfully unaware of the absurd fate that awaits you.
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You wake up, groggy and disoriented, and immediately ask yourself the first logical question: Why the hell am I alive?
The last thing you remember is gravity betraying you and a suspiciously convenient fruit cart breaking your fall. But when you sit up and look around, it’s very clear you’re not in your crappy apartment anymore. For starters, this place is way too clean, smells faintly of vanilla, and—oh, is that sunlight streaming through those beautiful glass windows? Not the dim, depressing flicker of the streetlight outside your old place?
Something is very wrong.
You scramble out of the bed, which is definitely not your rickety twin-sized monstrosity held together with duct tape and misplaced hope, and start poking around. The furniture is elegant, the carpet is plush, and there’s an oil painting on the wall that practically screams, Welcome to Generic Medieval Europe™!
The realization slams into you with all the subtlety of a freight train: You’re in that garbage web novel.
You pause, frozen, your brain throwing up a million red flags at once. Your knees almost buckle. "Nope. No. Absolutely not. This is some kind of cosmic punishment," you whisper to yourself, clutching your temples.
You creep towards the ornate mirror on the other side of the room, your reflection getting clearer with every step. “Please,” you mutter, “if there’s a single merciful entity out there, don’t let me be the heroine. Or the villainess. Or, God forbid, one of the male leads.”
You finally reach the mirror, squeeze your eyes shut, then crack one open. And there you are: just some random face.
“Oh, thank God,” you exhale, slumping against the wall. You’re not the heroine. You’re not the villainess. You’re not one of the tragic walking disasters that make up the main cast. You're just… some person. A total nobody.
But just as you’re about to bust out your victory dance of mediocrity, something catches your eye. You lean closer, squinting.
Wait.
No.
NO.
You’re that nobody.
You’re the tragic commoner knight who gets blackmailed by the heroine, coerced into doing her dirty work, and ends up assassinating the villainess for her. The same commoner knight who dies in three chapters because the heroine throws them under the bus as soon as the villainess's fiancé finds out what happened.
You stagger back from the mirror like it’s cursed. “Nope. Nope. Absolutely not. I did not reincarnate into this medieval soap opera just to get unalived in the dumbest way possible,” you say, pacing the room like a lunatic.
Your character’s life flashes before your eyes: the abusive father, the crippling family loyalty, the gambling debts. This poor soul had it rough even before getting turned into the heroine’s personal murder minion. And you? You’re not about to pick up that torch.
So you grab some parchment and pen what might be the most passive-aggressive resignation letter of all time.
“To Her Highness, the Crown Princess,
Kindly do your own dirty work from now on. My father can gamble himself into oblivion. I’m out. Good luck with your reign or whatever.”
Satisfied, you sign it with an unnecessarily large flourish, slap it on the desk, and prepare to bounce.
You’re halfway down the hall when you almost walk face-first into him.
Rook Hunt, the walking embodiment of “this guy doesn’t belong in this novel but here he is anyway,” stands there with his golden hair and overly dramatic smile. He’s loud. He’s eccentric. He’s dressed like he’s about to break into a musical number about the beauty of life. Oh, and he’s also the duke whose household you served in as a knight before you quit.
“Mon ami!” he exclaims, throwing his arms wide like you’re long-lost lovers. “You’ve returned to me! What an exquisite twist of fate! Shall we celebrate the beauty of reunion?”
“No,” you say flatly. You attempt to sidestep him, but Rook doesn’t just let things go.
“You cannot leave me again! Do you not wish to resume your role as my loyal knight?”
“Absolutely not,” you snap on instinct, because why on earth would you willingly dive back into this mess? But then it hits you. Wait.
Rook isn’t part of the main plot. He’s not the crown prince, not the archduke, not the villain, and definitely not one of the doomed love interests. He’s just… there. A minor character. A colorful extra who pops up to sprinkle poetic nonsense into the plot and then wanders offstage.
Your brain kicks into overdrive. If you stick with him, you’ll be close enough to the action to keep tabs but far enough to avoid the heroine’s nonsense. Plus, salary. And minor characters like him rarely die!
Your decision solidifies. You plaster on a winning smile and nod. “Actually, on second thought, yeah. Let’s do that.”
“Magnifique!” Rook practically beams as he grabs your arm. “Come, let us bask in the splendor of returning home!”
You follow him, letting his endless stream of poetic babble wash over you. Is this the best plan? Probably not. But it beats getting murdered for a heroine who couldn’t find her moral compass with both hands and a map.
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You make it back to the duke’s grand estate—because of course it’s grand. Every aristocrat in this godforsaken novel seems to have a mansion the size of a small country. Rook practically floats through the gates, his dramatic energy causing every passing servant to give him the “not again” look. You follow, still trying to process the reality of your current situation.
After an unnecessarily flowery tour of the place (you’ve been here before in this body, but you let him talk because it’s easier than interrupting), he finally stops in the courtyard. He turns to you, his eyes gleaming with excitement.
“Now, mon chevalier, reclaim your rightful position as my trusted bodyguard!” he declares, flinging his arms wide as if inviting the heavens to applaud him.
You blink. “…Respectfully, sir, why do you need a bodyguard?”
He pauses, staring at you like you just asked why water is wet. Then, with an infuriatingly serene smile, he says, “Ah, but the shadows are filled with secrets, my dear knight! The beauty of life is in its mysteries, n’est-ce pas?”
You squint at him. “Okay, but that doesn’t answer the question.”
He leans in closer, dropping his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “Because the wolves, mon ami. The wolves.”
You freeze. “…What wolves?”
Rook straightens up, tilting his head as if contemplating the meaning of the universe. “Ah, they are everywhere and nowhere. In the forests, in the halls, in the hearts of men. Who can say where danger truly lies?”
This man just said a whole lot of words without saying anything.
“Right,” you say slowly, pinching the bridge of your nose. “But you’re, like, ridiculously strong. I’m pretty sure you could take on any wolf—metaphorical or not—by yourself.”
“Ah, mon chevalier,” he says with a wistful sigh, placing a hand on his chest like he’s reciting a Shakespearean soliloquy. “Strength alone cannot protect one from the unexpected, the unseen, the poetry of peril!”
You stare at him, trying to figure out if this is some sort of elaborate prank. But no. This man is completely serious.
“So… wolves. Poetry of peril. Got it,” you mutter, rubbing your temples. “I’ll, uh, just… go patrol or something, I guess.”
Rook claps his hands together, beaming. “Ah, magnifique! I knew you would understand! Truly, you are a gem among knights!”
You slink off, still scratching your head. You’re 90% sure the wolves are a metaphor for absolutely nothing, but who are you to question the logic of a trash novel? At least the pay is good.
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You quickly realize this trash novel is trying to trash you right back. It’s like every corner you turn, fate has decided you don’t deserve a peaceful life.
Walking through the garden to calm your nerves? Someone leaps out of the hedges with a dagger. You narrowly dodge, trip over a decorative fountain, and the attacker runs off, cackling.
Trying to enjoy the roses because you’re starting to think, “Hey, if I gotta die, at least let it be aesthetic?” Nope, arrow. Right past your ear.
By the fifth assassination attempt (some guy “accidentally” dropping a potted plant from a balcony), it clicks. The heroine must’ve decided since you’re not doing her dirty work anymore, she needs to eliminate you before you spill the beans. But, unlike her, you have brains.
So, you write a letter.
Dear Villainess and Esteemed Archduke,
I hope this letter finds you well, though considering the general chaos surrounding us, that feels optimistic.
I am writing to inform you of an unfortunate situation involving a certain someone (cough the crown princess cough) who has, shall we say, less-than-noble intentions toward your continued existence.
To clarify: she asked me to assassinate you. I know, shocking. However, as someone who values integrity, personal safety, and not being murdered by shady royalty, I’ve decided to step down from my position as her unwilling assassin.
This does mean she may hire someone else to handle the job, which is unfortunate for you but also none of my business anymore. I’m not sure how you typically handle murder plots, but I suggest taking precautions, like perhaps not smelling your roses or standing under precariously placed flower pots.
Lastly, while I am admittedly a pawn in this chaotic mess, I felt it was only fair to let you know what’s going on. I wish you both a long, unassassinated life.
Warm regards,
Your Local Retired Assassin
P.S. Please don’t kill me. I’m just the messenger.
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You thought this letter would buy you peace. Instead, it bought you an invitation.
And by “invitation,” you mean you’ve been dragged into a private meeting with the villainess and the archduke, who are both sitting across from you now, looking like they’re deciding whether to thank you or strangle you.
“So,” the villainess says, her voice like ice. “You’re telling me the crown princess is plotting to kill me?”
“Uh, yes,” you say, your palms sweating. “But, like, not me anymore! I’ve retired. Permanently.”
The archduke raises an eyebrow. “Why would she want to kill us?”
You glance at the villainess. “Uh… because you exist?”
Before the villainess can stab you (she looks ready), the door swings open, and in saunters Rook.
“Ah, my friends!” he says, grinning ear to ear. “How serendipitous that we are all here. I believe I can shed some light on this matter.”
You gape as Rook launches into a detailed explanation of the heroine’s convoluted scheme—exactly what she’s planning, who she’s hiring, and even the color of the dress she’ll wear while gloating about it.
The villainess and the archduke exchange a glance, then rise, thanking Rook for his “invaluable insight” before sweeping out of the room, leaving you and Rook alone.
You turn to him, your jaw still on the floor. “How do you even know all that?”
Rook just winks at you. “Ah, mon chevalier, the shadows have ears, and I am their maestro.”
He struts out, humming a jaunty tune, leaving you sitting there, more confused than ever. At this point, you’re half-convinced Rook is either a genius or just making stuff up as he goes. And honestly? You’re too tired to figure it out.
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You’re stationed at the edge of the garden, trying your best to blend into the scenery while the tea party unfolds. Rook, as usual, is the life of the gathering, passionately chatting with Vil and Epel, who looks like he’d rather be anywhere else.
You’re in your usual "bodyguard mode," which mostly consists of staring off into the distance and trying not to fall asleep. It’s peaceful—for once—until Epel casually drops a comment loud enough for even you to hear.
"Rook, you finally got them back, huh?"
Your brain screeches to a halt.
Got you back? Back? What does that mean? What is there to get back? Was there something to get back in the first place?
You barely have time to process any of this before Rook, in the most Rook way possible, interrupts with a flurry of poetic nonsense.
“Ah, young Epel, the winds of fortune have indeed graced me with their bounteous song! But let us not dwell on the past, for the present blooms before us like a radiant garden of opportunity!”
You blink. Did… did that mean anything? Epel seems to think it doesn’t, judging by the way he rolls his eyes and mutters something under his breath. But you’re too busy processing the odd look on Rook’s face to care.
Because, for the first time ever, Rook looks nervous.
His usual serene confidence is still there, but there’s a hint of something else—a faint pink dusting his cheeks, an almost imperceptible shift in his tone. And why the hell is your heart fluttering at the sight?
You squint at him, trying to decode whatever is happening here. Is he… embarrassed? Flustered? Can Rook even be flustered?
Before you can spiral further into overthinking, you notice Vil’s sharp gaze cutting through the moment like a knife. His violet eyes lock onto yours, and an infuriatingly amused smile tugs at the corner of his lips.
Oh no. He knows.
Vil, of course, pretends like nothing’s happening, smoothly pouring himself another cup of tea and joining the conversation like the consummate aristocrat he is. But every so often, you catch him glancing at you with that same entertained expression, like he’s just discovered a juicy secret.
You try to shake it off, refusing to let yourself be dragged into this nonsense. But Rook’s flushed face lingers in your mind, and every time he smiles at you for the rest of the party, you feel the heat creeping up your own cheeks.
Great. Just great. Whatever this is, it’s going to haunt you for days.
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It started with an uproar in the palace—a desperate, urgent call for help sent to Rook, Duke of Hunt.
"The wolves are attacking!"
You were mid-sword practice when the messenger arrived, breathless and frantic. He handed the summons to Rook, who took the parchment with an amused smile.
"Wolves, you say?" he mused, tapping his chin dramatically.
"Yes, my lord!" The messenger practically collapsed from the effort of delivering the message. "They’ve breached the outer gardens, and the prince and heroine request your immediate assistance!"
Rook looked at you, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "Ah, mon chevalier, do you recall what I told you once about wolves?"
You blinked, frowning. "You mean the thing about being surrounded by wolves one day? I thought you were joking."
Rook’s grin widened. "Oh, I never jest about wolves."
You opened your mouth to demand clarification, but Rook waved the parchment dismissively. "Alas, I must decline."
The messenger froze. "W-What? But…you’re the Duke of Hunt! The greatest tracker and marksman in the kingdom! Without you, the palace is doomed!"
Rook leaned forward conspiratorially. "Tell me, mon ami, what makes you think I’d risk life and limb for the likes of the heroine and her precious prince?"
The messenger stammered. "B-But—"
Rook held up a hand, silencing him. "No, no. I simply cannot. My schedule is far too packed. Why, just this morning, I promised my chevalier here that I’d help reorganize their weapons rack." He turned to you with a wink. "Isn’t that right?"
You rolled your eyes but nodded. "Yep. Super busy."
The messenger left, looking utterly defeated. You figured that was the end of it.
It wasn’t.
Over the next two hours, messengers kept arriving, each more desperate than the last. Rook refused them all with increasing flamboyance.
One messenger was sent away with, "Alas, the stars are not in alignment for such a hunt!"
Another was dismissed with, "The winds whisper that this is not my destiny today."
Finally, a personal plea came from the heroine herself. She barged into the estate, dramatically throwing herself at Rook’s feet.
"Oh, noble Duke!" she wailed. "You are the only one who can save us! Please, I beg of you!"
Rook tilted his head, pretending to think it over. Then he glanced at you, his expression suddenly sharp beneath the veneer of cheer.
"And what of my chevalier?" he asked.
The heroine frowned. "What do you mean?"
"You’ve made quite a nuisance of yourself lately," Rook said lightly, though there was an edge to his voice. "Why, only yesterday, you sent someone to ambush them in the gardens, did you not?"
Her face paled.
"I might reconsider," Rook said, his tone taking on a singsong quality, "if you promise to leave them alone from now on."
There was a long, tense pause. The heroine’s expression flickered between rage and fear before she finally forced a smile. "Very well. I promise."
"Splendid!" Rook clapped his hands and stood. "To the hunt, then!"
You stood there in stunned silence as he walked out the door, bow in hand. When he turned back to flash you a grin, you couldn’t help but mutter, "What the hell just happened?"
Rook’s laugh echoed through the halls, and you were left wondering yet again if you’d ever fully understand this ridiculous man.
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It’s payday, baby.
You’ve never been more excited to hold a pouch of jingling coins in your life. Your day off couldn’t have come at a better time, and you’ve already decided to treat yourself. No assassination attempts, no cryptic poetry, no Rook yammering about beauty—just you, the market, and sweet, sweet retail therapy.
After wandering for a while, you stumble upon a fruit stall, and your eyes light up. The produce is incredible—vividly colored, juicy, and nothing like the waxy, suspiciously glossy stuff you’d get in your original world. You don’t even know what half these fruits are, but they smell amazing, and you’re buying them all.
As you carry your haul back to the manor, an idea hits you like a freight train. You’ve been craving dessert—specifically, something you can’t get in medieval Europe. Something simple, sweet, and utterly anachronistic.
And that’s how you end up in the kitchen, surrounded by fresh fruit, flour, sugar, and whatever else you’ve managed to scrounge up. You’re determined to make crêpes. Yes, you know they weren’t invented yet, but the cooks don’t even seem to know what a waffle is, so they’re not going to stop you.
It takes a bit of trial and error—because, shocker, medieval kitchens are not equipped for finesse—but eventually, you’ve got a plate of soft, golden crêpes filled with fresh fruit and drizzled with honey. It’s so beautiful it almost brings a tear to your eye.
You’re mid-bite, mentally congratulating yourself, when Rook materializes out of nowhere like some kind of dessert-seeking missile.
“Mon chevalier! What marvel have you crafted here in this humble kitchen? The scent alone rivals the sweetest perfume!”
You freeze. This is fine. He’s just curious. There’s no reason to panic. Subconsciously, you scoop up a bite on your fork and offer it to him, your body on autopilot.
Rook doesn’t hesitate, leaning in and accepting the bite with the elegance of a prince at court. “Magnifique! Truly, you have woven magic into this creation, mon cher!”
You relax slightly, pride swelling at the compliment—until he takes your hand and licks a stray drop of honey from your finger.
Your brain short-circuits.
Before you can even form a coherent thought, Rook grins at you with that infuriatingly charming smile of his, leaning in to press a quick kiss to your cheek.
“You are as talented in the kitchen as you are with a blade,” he says, his voice warm and soft, as if he hasn’t just dismantled your sanity.
And then he’s gone, striding out of the kitchen with his usual jaunty step, leaving you standing there like an idiot, replaying the sensation of his lips on your cheek and his tongue on your finger.
You slowly sink to the floor, crêpe in hand, trying to process what just happened.
“Why,” you mutter to yourself, taking another bite of your crêpe for courage, “does this keep happening to me?”
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Life had been…dare you say it, pleasant recently. No assassination attempts, no tea parties and no surprise arrows whizzing by your head. You were almost convinced this world might not be so bad after all.
But like clockwork, the plot reared its ugly head.
You were outside, basking in the rare serenity of a quiet afternoon, when the shouting began. You knew the voice instantly. It was grating, furious, and way too familiar.
Your abusive father—the original you’s deadbeat excuse for a parent—had somehow crawled out of the woodwork.
“You useless brat!” he snarled, stomping toward you. “How dare you stop sending money? Do you think you’re too good for your family now?!”
Oh, for the love of—
You crossed your arms, already done with the theatrics. “First of all, family implies mutual care and respect, neither of which you’ve ever provided. Secondly, kiss my ass.”
The man’s face turned a deep shade of purple, veins bulging in his forehead. He raised his hand, and you didn’t flinch. You weren’t scared of him. You were just irritated that he had the audacity to show up and ruin your vibe.
But before his hand could even swing down, an arrow whizzed past, slicing through the air with deadly precision. It nicked his cheek, leaving a shallow cut, and he yelped like a scolded dog.
You turned, and there he was.
Rook.
But this wasn’t the poetic, flowery Rook who praised sunsets and waxed lyrical about everything under the sun. No, this was Duke Hunt. His bow was clenched tightly in one hand, his expression colder than you’d ever seen. His eyes locked onto your father, sharp and unyielding, and for the first time, you truly understood why people called him a hunter.
Your father stumbled back, clutching his cheek. “Y-you’ll regret this! I’ll get my revenge!” he spat, turning tail and running like the two-bit villain he was.
You didn’t even watch him go. You were too busy staring at Rook, your heart pounding in a way that had nothing to do with fear and everything to do with the fact that, dammit, he looked good like this.
You silently scolded yourself. Really? Now? This is when you’re going to have a revelation about your feelings? Pull it together.
Rook’s gaze softened as he looked at you, and without a word, he closed the distance between you. Before you could process it, his arms wrapped around you, pulling you into a firm, steady embrace.
You stiffened for a moment, but then it hit you—you were shaken. You hadn’t realized it until now, but the encounter had left your hands trembling. And Rook…he didn’t say a word. He just held you, radiating warmth and reassurance, as if he knew exactly what you needed.
Slowly, you relaxed, leaning into him, letting the tension bleed out of your body. For once, there were no witty remarks, no poetic musings, no cryptic riddles. Just Rook, steady and solid, and the quiet comfort of his presence.
You closed your eyes, letting out a shaky breath. Maybe life here wasn’t so bad after all.
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It was the hunting competition trope—the bread and butter of every third-rate villainess novel ever written. Noblemen rode out in droves to massacre innocent wildlife in the name of prestige, while the women gathered on the sidelines to swoon over who could kill the most majestic creature.
Normally, you'd find this whole affair ridiculous, but today? Today, it was a strategic opportunity.
Rook and you had cooked up a plan. After bagging his game, Rook would publicly gift it to the villainess, cementing the stance of his household against the heroine. A subtle yet unmistakable message to everyone present: this duke’s house wasn’t here to play politics; it was drawing battle lines.
Rook was, predictably, ecstatic about it all. “Ah, mon chevalier, what a splendid opportunity to honor beauty and justice with the art of the hunt!” he proclaimed, twirling dramatically as he readied his bow.
What you didn’t anticipate was his strange fixation on a handkerchief before he left.
Throughout the day, noblewomen approached Rook, each one batting their lashes and holding out dainty, embroidered handkerchiefs. It was practically a parade of desperate peahens.
“Oh, Lord Hunt, a token for luck!” cooed one particularly persistent lady, pushing her frilly kerchief toward him.
Rook clasped his hands to his chest with exaggerated reverence. “Ah, mademoiselle, your thoughtfulness moves me beyond words, but alas, I cannot accept. To carry such a treasure into the wild would be to risk its loss, and I could never bear such tragedy!”
Another woman attempted to loop her kerchief around his wrist directly. Rook gracefully dodged, as though she were offering him a live snake. “My dear lady, your artistry is unparalleled, but the only adornment fit for this hunt is the pure, untainted spirit of nature herself!”
By the third rejection, you were practically biting your tongue to keep from laughing.
But then came the curveball.
“Ah,” Rook sighed as he approached you. “If only I had a handkerchief imbued with sincerity. A simple, honest token to guide my aim and steady my heart!”
You blinked at him. “What, like…this?” You pulled out your completely ordinary, unembellished handkerchief and held it out.
Rook’s eyes lit up as though you’d just handed him the Holy Grail. “Mon chevalier! How perfect! How divine! This humble square of cloth shall be my guiding light!”
Before you could protest, he tied it around his arm with a flourish and rode off, looking like he was ready to star in his own personal opera.
From his place in the pavilion, Vil Schoenheit took a slow, deliberate sip of his tea, his sharp eyes locking onto yours with a glint of pure amusement. The smirk tugging at his lips seemed to say, Oh, I know exactly what’s going on.
Meanwhile, Epel squinted between you and Rook, his expression shifting rapidly as though he’d just cracked the secret to immortality. He whispered something to Vil, who nearly choked on his tea before regaining his composure.
What the hell is going on? you thought, baffled.
Fast forward to now, the present, where the plan was supposed to culminate with Rook triumphantly presenting his prize to the villainess. Simple, elegant, strategic.
So why, why, was Rook standing in front of you holding a literal griffin?
“Uh, Rook,” you whispered through gritted teeth. “What are you doing? This is supposed to go to the villainess.”
But Rook was having none of it.
“Ah, my loyal chevalier,” he declared loudly, drawing the attention of every noble in the vicinity. “It is only fitting that such a prize goes to the one who inspires my steadfastness and resolve!��
Your jaw dropped. “Rook. No.”
He turned his radiant smile on you, looking like a proud schoolboy showing off a crayon drawing to his teacher. “Yes!”
The gathered nobles erupted into murmurs, and you could already feel the weight of every single judgmental stare. This was not part of the plan. But despite your internal screaming, a small, annoying part of you couldn’t help but feel…flattered. This was a duke, and you were just a knight. A very confused, very underqualified knight, sure, but still.
Vil, still seated with his ever-present cup of tea, took another long, pointed sip, his eyes glimmering with amusement.
This was the drama he’d signed up for.
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The hallway leading back to the room where Vil, Rook, and Epel were sitting felt oddly silent, the muffled voices of their conversation barely filtering through the door. You weren’t one to eavesdrop—but when you heard your name, well, curiosity got the better of you.
"Just confess already," Epel was saying, his tone exasperated. "We’ve all seen the way you look at them."
Vil chimed in, his voice tinged with amusement. "Epel is right for once, Rook. Love is about timing, and yours is abysmal."
"But love is an art, mon ami," Rook replied, his tone unusually hesitant. "It cannot be rushed. It must unfold naturally, like the petals of a flower in spring."
"Okay," Vil drawled, clearly unimpressed. "But what happens when someone else plucks your ‘flower’? Say, the gardener they’ve been spending so much time with?"
The silence that followed was deafening. You leaned closer, your heart pounding, hoping—no, needing—to hear Rook’s response.
Instead, you heard nothing.
The stillness stretched unbearably until you couldn’t take it anymore. You shoved the door open, startling all three occupants. "What are you talking about?"
Vil raised an eyebrow, the picture of nonchalance, though the corners of his mouth twitched with mischief. "Perfect timing, as always. I’ll leave you two to sort this out."
He grabbed a very reluctant Epel by the collar and dragged him toward the door. "Wait, I wanna see what happens!" Epel protested, but Vil shut the door behind them with a decisive click.
Which left you and Rook alone.
You crossed your arms, leveling him with a look that you hoped masked the frantic hammering of your heart. "So…what’s this about a confession?"
Rook’s usual composure faltered. For once, the poetic, perpetually self-assured Rook you knew looked…unsure. Vulnerable. His hands fidgeted with the hem of his gloves, and he avoided your gaze, staring instead at the floor.
"Rook," you said softly, stepping closer. "Please, just tell me what’s going on. I need to know."
He finally looked up, and the raw emotion in his eyes was enough to steal your breath.
"Mon chevalier," he began, his voice low and trembling, "I have loved you from the start. At first, it was the camaraderie of equals, a kindred spirit I admired. But when you returned from the heroine’s side, defying expectations and staying true to yourself…you captured my heart completely."
You blinked, stunned. "Rook, I—"
He continued, the words spilling out as though he’d been holding them back for far too long. "You never treated me like I was strange. You accepted me as I am, even when others mocked my passions or dismissed my eccentricities. I never truly needed a bodyguard. I just needed you. Near me. Always."
His voice broke slightly on the last word, and you felt your resolve crumble.
You sighed, but it wasn’t from exasperation. It was the sound of relief, of something clicking into place. "Next time," you said, stepping even closer, "just tell me your feelings directly. It’ll save us both a lot of trouble."
Before he could respond, you reached up and pulled him into a kiss.
It was everything a first kiss should be—long, searing, passionate. His arms wrapped around you instinctively, pulling you flush against him as though he never wanted to let go. You melted into him, your hands sliding up to tangle in his hair, and for a moment, the world outside that kiss ceased to exist.
When you finally broke apart, both of you were breathless. Rook’s lips quirked into a smile as he whispered, "Your lips are the sweetest arrow, mon amour, and they have pierced my heart beyond repair."
You burst into laughter, burying your face in the crook of his neck to muffle the sound. "Gods, Rook, only you could ruin a moment like this with something so cheesy."
He chuckled softly, his arms still secure around you.
And as you stood there in his embrace, you couldn’t help but think that this ridiculous, trashy novel world was the best thing that had ever happened to you.
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The parlor was warm with the golden light of afternoon sun filtering through the windows, but the atmosphere buzzed with anticipation. You stood near Rook, his arm casually draped across the back of your chair, as Vil and Epel looked at you expectantly.
“Well?” Vil prompted, raising a perfectly arched brow.
You glanced at Rook, who smiled encouragingly, as if to say, go ahead. Clearing your throat, you announced, “We’re…together.”
Vil sighed dramatically, setting down his teacup with a soft clink. “Finally. I was starting to think I’d have to intervene.”
Epel, on the other hand, froze mid-sip of his cider. Slowly, he set the glass down, stood, and walked over to you. His expression was a mix of grief and dread, like someone had just informed him of some terrible, life-altering news.
He placed both hands firmly on your shoulders and looked you dead in the eyes. “Good luck,” he said, solemn as a funeral bell. “This is a life sentence, y’know.”
Rook chuckled, clearly amused. “Mon cher Epel, you wound me! Surely being with moi is more of a treasure than a trial?”
Epel turned to him, unimpressed. “Treasure? You follow people for fun. You recite poetry to wild animals. You can’t even eat pie without analyzing its existential meaning. I mean, who does that?”
You were already laughing, shaking your head as you patted Epel’s hand reassuringly. “Don’t worry, Epel. This is a sentence I’m more than happy to serve.”
Vil smirked behind his tea, watching the scene unfold with obvious amusement. “Frankly, I’m just relieved we won’t have to endure any more of his tragic sighs every time you left a room.”
Rook clasped a hand to his heart in mock offense. “Oh, Vil! My sighs are poetry incarnate!”
Vil didn’t even blink. “Your sighs are the sound of unspoken melodrama. Spare me.”
Epel plopped back into his seat with a long groan, running a hand through his hair. “Anyway, I guess congratulations or whatever. At least now we can all stop pretending we don’t notice him staring at you like some love-struck puppy.”
“That’s rich,” you shot back, grinning. “You’re the one who looks like your pet rat just died every time we get close.”
Epel huffed. “I’m just saying! Now you gotta deal with him being even more poetic! And clingy! You thought the prince and heroine were bad? Wait till you see Rook when he’s in love. You’re doomed.”
At the mention of the prince and heroine, Vil made an exaggerated sound of disgust. “Speaking of those two… Honestly, has anyone ever been so painfully predictable? The prince has all the charm of wet cardboard, and the heroine—don’t even get me started on her hair ribbons.”
“Ah, the heroine,” Rook sighed wistfully, but there was a glint of mischief in his eyes. “Always so delightfully transparent. Her schemes are like open windows to her soul.”
You snorted. “If by soul, you mean her desperate attempts to turn everything into a sob story, then yeah, sure.”
Epel leaned forward, grinning. “Did you see her crying at the hunt competition? Like, girl, it’s a competition. What did you think would happen? That the griffin would apologize and hand itself over?”
Vil smirked, tapping a manicured finger against his chin. “Or how about the prince declaring his ‘eternal devotion’ to her at the banquet last week? I nearly choked on my wine.”
Rook chuckled, turning to you with a soft smile that was far more genuine than his usual theatrics. “Ah, but let us not waste all our words on such trivialities. This moment, mon amour, is one of joy.”
You leaned into him, your laughter subsiding into a contented smile. His arm slipped around your shoulders, holding you close as Vil and Epel continued their playful bickering in the background.
For the first time since you’d been thrown into this absurd world, you felt completely at ease. If this was the result of being trapped in a trash novel, then so be it. You were exactly where you wanted to be.
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creamflix · 10 hours ago
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ONCE MORE TO SEE YOU — toji fushiguro x female reader [oneshot]
summary: you’re a single mom with a schedule that leaves little room for anything but work and longing. twice a week, you get to hold your daughter close, pouring all your love into moments that always feel too short. across the hallway, there’s toji — a single dad who watches from a distance, arms crossed, jaw tight, as he wonders how you juggle work and parenting and still manage to make your kid so happy. at first, he’s envious. envious of your composure, your warmth, the way your daughter looks at you like you’re her whole world. but slowly, that envy shifts. what happens when two broken hearts start to lean on each other, finding strength in the spaces they thought would stay empty? can you let someone in without fear of breaking again? can he?
content warnings: fluff, slight angst with comfort. strangers to friends to lovers. slow burn. single parent/divorced (female) reader. single parent toji. reader has a girl [aged 8-9] no name specified, megumi is the same age as well. reader has a toxic/manipulative ex husband. happy ending. lot of feels. very personally penned </3 mentions of other characters: nanami, yuuji, nobara, gojo & sukuna
read on ao3!
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toji didn’t usually care much about other people’s business, but you? you were impossible to ignore. 
it wasn’t just because your door slammed too loud when your kid came running out, or because you always seemed to be lugging some heavy-ass groceries up the stairs with that determined scowl of yours. it was how you did it all like some damn perfectionist. 
toji hated it. 
hated the way it made him feel like he should be trying harder too, especially when his kid, megumi, was busy leaving trails of destruction like a little tornado.
“megumi, stop throwing the damn ball against the wall!” he bellowed one evening, slumping further into his couch. the kid ignored him, of course. 
then, as if the universe hated him, your door creaked open, and there you were, strolling into the hallway like you had nothing better to do. arms crossed, brows raised, you peered down at him with that no-nonsense air of yours.
“maybe he’s bored?” you suggested, leaning casually against your doorframe.
toji snorted. “maybe he’s just an asshole.”
your face scrunched in disapproval, the kind he’d seen a million times from the PTA moms who used to glare at him when he showed up late to pick up megumi. but you didn’t launch into a lecture like he expected. instead, you glanced at megumi, who had paused mid-throw to stare at you, and crouched down to his level.
“hey, buddy,” you said, voice softening in a way that made toji’s stomach twist. “why don’t you try aiming for that spot over there?” you pointed to a section of the wall that wouldn’t drive everyone insane. megumi actually listened, and toji couldn’t decide if he was impressed or pissed off.
“what, you think you’re some kind of kid whisperer?” he muttered, shoving his hands into his hoodie pocket.
you stood, brushing off your knees, and looked him dead in the eye. “no, but i know how to talk to them.”
toji scowled. “yeah, must be nice, being born with that magic ‘mom gene.’”
you blinked, then burst out laughing, and for some reason, that annoyed him even more. 
“mom gene? toji, i only have my kid on weekends. the rest of the time, it’s just me and a bottle of wine trying not to lose my mind.”
he frowned, caught off guard. “wait, what?”
“yeah, divorce does that to you.” your voice was breezy, but your eyes flickered with something darker for a split second. “not that it’s any of your business.”
toji chewed on that revelation, something prickling at the edges of his brain. you weren’t some perfect supermom after all. you were just...getting by, same as him. 
the realization didn’t sit well — it made you seem less annoying and more...real. vulnerable, even.
“huh,” he grunted, looking away, suddenly too aware of how quiet the hallway had gotten. megumi was still tossing the ball, but it was softer now, more controlled. “guess you’re not as put together as you seem.”
“and you’re not as big of a jerk as you seem,” you shot back, giving him a pointed look before retreating to your apartment.
toji stared after you, jaw tight, until the door clicked shut. something about you made him itch, made him feel like he needed to either punch a wall or figure out why he couldn’t stop thinking about how you smiled at his kid. 
damn it.
toji sat at the edge of his couch, one hand wrapped around a cold beer and the other flipping through a stack of bills. the TV was on, low volume, playing some mindless sports recap he wasn’t even watching. megumi was somewhere in his room, the faint clatter of toys filtering down the hall. the kid had been sulking since this morning, muttering about how “nobody does anything fun.”
he grunted, rubbing a hand down his face. it wasn’t like he didn’t want to take the kid out, but hell, it was hard enough keeping the lights on. trips to the park felt like a luxury he couldn’t afford — time or energy.
and then he heard it. your laugh, loud and unapologetic, echoing in the hallway like it owned the place. toji tilted his head back against the couch, scowling at the ceiling as if that would make the sound go away. it didn’t. instead, it was followed by the high-pitched giggle of your kid, shrieking with joy as the two of you stomped down the stairs.
“hold on, mama needs her shoes!” your voice floated up through the doorframe, playful but firm.
“hurry! we’re gonna miss the swings!” your daughter yelled back, her excitement enough to make toji wince. he could practically see the image of you two — hand in hand, all smiles, making your way to the park like you didn’t have a care in the world.
his jaw tightened. perfect. just another reminder of how much he sucked at this parenting thing.
he took a long swig of his beer and stared at the stack of bills like it was their fault he couldn’t be the kind of dad who made his kid laugh like that. no matter how much he wanted to, he couldn’t just...be you. he didn’t know how to make life look that easy.
“megumi,” he called, his voice rougher than he meant it to be.
there was a pause, the kind that made him think the kid wasn’t going to answer, before a small, reluctant “yeah?” drifted back.
toji sighed, setting the beer down. “you wanna...go outside or somethin’?”
another pause. then: “what for?”
the response hit harder than he cared to admit. what for? shouldn’t his kid want to? shouldn’t he be the one excited to spend time with his old man? but megumi sounded skeptical, like he’d already decided it wouldn’t be fun.
“never mind,” toji muttered, scrubbing a hand through his hair. “forget it.”
the sound of the door to megumi’s room clicking shut made toji’s shoulders sag further.
outside, your laughter faded, replaced by the echo of your footsteps retreating into the distance. he leaned back on the couch, staring at the flickering TV screen, feeling something in his chest tighten and pull.
toji didn’t know when exactly it had started bothering him — this stupid, begrudging little alliance the two of you had. you’d come over when megumi refused his medicine, talking to the kid with that low, steady voice of yours until he opened his mouth like it was no big deal. and toji would come over when your sink started leaking, muttering under his breath the whole time about how you should’ve called a damn plumber.
but this? this was different. it wasn’t about fixing a sink or calming a tantrum. it was about the fact that you always seemed to do better — better at this whole parenting thing, better at making life fun, better at...everything. 
and he hated that. hated how it made him feel like he was doing it all wrong.
maybe tomorrow would be different. maybe tomorrow he’d try harder. but for tonight, toji sat in the dim light of his living room, beer in hand, listening to the muffled sounds of megumi’s toys clattering in the other room, and let himself wonder — just for a second — what it’d be like to get it right.
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your neighbors thought you had it all figured out — the strict yet cool mom who always had her shit together. you weren’t the one scrambling for groceries or apologizing to the pharmacist because you forgot to refill a prescription. no, your pantry was always stocked, the fridge had every snack your daughter loved, and there was always a pack of pads tucked in the bathroom cabinet, just in case. because if there was one thing you were going to do, it was prepare. even if it was only for two days a week.
but those two days weren’t enough. not for you, anyway. 
your daughter was happy, blissfully unaware of how unnatural this arrangement felt to you. she was too young to see what you saw, to feel the cracks in your chest every time sunday evening rolled around and your ex-husband came to pick her up. you watched her climb into the car without a second thought, giggling about whatever they had planned for the week ahead, and you stood on the curb with a smile that felt like it might crack your face in half.
because this wasn’t the norm. at least, it shouldn’t have been.
but she didn’t know that, and how could you tell her? how could you explain that the only reason the divorce had been so clean and quick was because you’d made sure it was? no yelling, no lawyers, no drawn-out battles over custody. you wanted it over before she could develop memories sharp enough to stick. 
and it worked — she was happy. unbothered. as if this was just how life was supposed to be.
you hated it. 
you hated it almost as much as you hated sitting alone in your too-quiet apartment for the other five days of the week, waiting. hoping. praying for something, anything, that would keep her with you longer.
sometimes, you’d stare at your phone, willing it to light up with a text from your ex. something like hey, last-minute work trip, can you take her this week? or she’s asking to stay with you, is that okay? 
but those texts never came. and your little girl never asked. she loved you, you knew that, but she didn’t need you in the way you wished she did. not yet. 
not like you needed her.
so, you waited. and in the waiting, you heard everything else. 
the muffled shouts of toji and his kid through the walls. the occasional crash of what was probably a wrestling match in their living room. the bark of laughter when megumi said something funny. the kind of noise that used to fill your own apartment, before the silence settled in like an unwelcome guest.
you missed that noise. you missed the mess of it, the chaos, the constant reminder that there was life happening right in front of you.
some nights, you’d hear megumi’s voice drift into the hallway, arguing with his dad about bedtime, and you’d feel a pang in your chest so sharp it made you suck in a breath. you didn’t even know what you were hoping for anymore — a reason to knock on toji’s door? an excuse to borrow sugar or offer some unsolicited parenting advice? maybe it was just the idea of not being alone that called to you, the longing for that noise to become a permanent fixture in your home.
but the door stayed closed, and you stayed on your side, waiting.
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thanksgiving wasn’t something you cared much for anymore. your daughter was off with your ex, being doted on by her grandparents, and you were left standing in the middle of your apartment wondering what the hell you were supposed to do with yourself. the thought of spending the day bouncing from bar to bar, pretending like you didn’t care that you were alone, felt more pathetic than liberating.
you had just grabbed your coat, keys jangling in hand, when the knock came. not a gentle knock, either — a heavy, impatient pounding. opening the door, you found megumi standing there, arms crossed and wearing a scowl that was all too familiar.
“you need to come help my dad,” he said bluntly.
you blinked. “uh, what?”
“the turkey,” he clarified, rolling his eyes like you should’ve already known. “he’s gonna burn it. again.”
you almost said no. you really did. it wasn’t your problem if toji fushiguro couldn’t figure out how to roast a turkey. but then megumi fixed you with a look — stubborn, determined, his little fists clenching at his sides — and you saw your daughter in him. that same unyielding resolve she’d inherited from you. 
before you could stop yourself, you sighed and grabbed your shoes.
“fine,” you muttered. “but only because i don��t wanna smell burnt turkey through the walls for the next week.”
megumi led the way, not bothering to wait for you to catch up, and by the time you stepped into toji’s apartment, the chaos was already underway. toji was in the kitchen, glaring at the bird like it had personally insulted him, sleeves rolled up and hair a mess. megumi darted off to the living room, immediately digging through his toys, leaving you standing awkwardly in the doorway.
“you planning to just stand there, or are you gonna help?” toji barked without looking up.
“oh, i’m sorry,” you shot back, shrugging off your coat and stepping into the kitchen. “i didn’t realize i was signing up to save thanksgiving.”
“yeah, yeah, just don’t touch the knives,” he grumbled, handing you a bowl of stuffing. “last thing i need is you slicing a finger off.”
“cute,” you deadpanned, elbowing him out of the way to check the turkey. “you’re supposed to baste it, you know. not drown it in oil.”
toji huffed but stepped aside, muttering something under his breath about know-it-alls. for the next hour, the two of you worked in tandem — him grumbling every time you corrected him, you rolling your eyes every time he ignored your advice only to realize you were right. it was messy and loud, and megumi kept wandering into the kitchen to ask if he could “decorate the turkey” with his action figures.
“no,” you and toji said in unison, making megumi pout and stomp back to his toys.
you hated to admit it, but it felt...nice. domestic, even. like the kind of thanksgiving you used to dream about before everything fell apart.
when the turkey was finally done, golden and steaming, toji leaned against the counter, wiping his hands on a towel. “well, guess that’s not a total disaster,” he said, nodding toward the bird.
“you’re welcome,” you replied, smirking.
toji glanced at you, something unreadable flickering in his eyes. then, in a tone that was almost shy — almost — he added, “you, uh...you should stay. for dinner, i mean. since you helped.”
you hesitated, the instinct to say no already on your tongue. but then megumi poked his head around the corner, grinning as he asked if it was time to eat yet, and something in your chest softened.
“yeah,” you said, surprising even yourself. “yeah, i guess i could stay.”
for once, you didn’t worry about whether it was selfish to want this — to sit at a table with someone else’s kid, someone else’s dad, and pretend, just for a little while, that it was your own family.
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you barely had time to put your keys down when your daughter bolted out the door, still wearing her ballet costume — tutu, tights, and all. 
“where are you going?” you called after her, already regretting the question as you hurried to follow.
by the time you reached the hallway, she was standing in front of megumi, who looked as though he had just rolled out of bed. his hair stuck up in every direction, and he was clutching a carton of milk he’d clearly just retrieved from the grocery bag hanging outside his door. the poor kid froze like a deer caught in headlights as your daughter crossed her arms and declared, “you’re the same height as me. you have to practice with me.”
megumi blinked at her, then at you, then back at her. “what?”
“pirouettes,” she said matter-of-factly, pointing to her little satin shoes. “you just have to stand there and twirl, like this.” she spun in place, her tutu flaring out as she executed a clumsy turn.
“uh...” megumi glanced at the milk in his hand, clearly weighing his options. then, with a defeated grumble that sounded eerily like his dad, he said, “fine. but only for five minutes.”
you were about to step in, to scold her for bothering someone she didn’t know, but then megumi set the milk down and mimicked her spin, his movements stiff and awkward but surprisingly cooperative. the sight of the two of them twirling in the hallway — her with all the determination of a drill sergeant, him with the resigned patience of a kid who had long since accepted the absurdity of his life — made you pause.
“no, no, your arm’s supposed to go here,” she corrected, pulling his hand up into what you assumed was a ballet pose. megumi didn’t protest, just followed her instructions with a tiny scowl on his face.
you leaned against the doorframe, half-amused, half-stunned. the hallway was hardly the place for this — the flickering overhead light and slightly dingy carpet hardly screamed “dance studio” — but neither of them seemed to care. they were kids, after all. they didn’t need permission or a proper setting to make something fun out of nothing.
toji’s door creaked open, and he stepped out, rubbing the back of his neck. his eyes landed on the two kids, and his brows shot up. “what the hell’s goin’ on here?”
you smirked. “your kid’s being recruited as a dance partner.”
toji snorted, crossing his arms as he leaned against the doorframe. “looks like he’s takin’ it seriously.”
“he’s a good sport,” you admitted, watching as your daughter adjusted megumi’s stance like a tiny ballet instructor.
“yeah, well, don’t let him hear you say that. he’s already got enough of an attitude,” toji muttered, though there was a trace of pride in his voice.
you laughed softly, watching as the two kids twirled down the hallway like it was the most natural thing in the world. for a moment, you felt that familiar pang in your chest — the one that came from watching your daughter interact with someone so freely, so innocently. it reminded you of something you’d almost forgotten: kids didn’t care about the social rules adults imposed on them. they didn’t worry about boundaries or appearances. they just...were.
and maybe, just maybe, you could learn something from that.
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you had rules. hard, fast rules you swore by, especially when it came to relationships. your daughter was your priority, and anything — or anyone — that complicated the fragile arrangement of custody and weekend visits was a hard no. 
you’d learned that the hard way.
it was supposed to be just another date. nothing serious, nothing special. just someone you’d met through a friend of a friend, someone who seemed decent enough at first glance. 
but “decent enough” didn’t cut it when he started poking around your home like it was his, asking invasive questions about your parenting and making himself far too comfortable in the space you shared with your daughter.
the final straw came when your girl, barely out of her toddler years, tugged on your sleeve and whispered, “i don’t like him.”
you snapped. you didn’t care about niceties or keeping things civil. your voice was sharp and unrelenting as you told him to leave, not sparing a second thought for his protests or excuses. when he didn’t take the hint, standing there like he had every right to argue with you in your own home, the commotion must have reached the hallway because toji showed up.
he leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed, his eyes hard and unwavering. “you heard her,” he said, his voice calm but carrying an edge that could slice through steel. “get the hell out.”
the man hesitated, glancing between you and toji, before finally storming out with a string of muttered curses. the door slammed behind him, and you exhaled, your shoulders sagging under the weight of your anger.
toji didn’t say anything, just gave you a curt nod before disappearing back into his apartment. but his presence lingered, a silent reminder that someone else got it. someone else understood that when it came to your kids, there were no compromises. if they didn’t like someone, that was the end of it. no debate, no second chances.
because the truth was, kids had a steadfast sense of people. they could see what adults often ignored or rationalized away. and if your little girl didn’t like someone, then that was reason enough to show them the door.
it wasn’t about being strict or overprotective. it was about being selfless in the way only a parent could be — putting your child’s comfort and safety above your own needs, no matter how lonely or frustrating it could be. 
and as much as you hated that night, as much as it left you raw and questioning your own choices, it also reaffirmed something you already knew: your girl came first. always.
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toji didn’t see the point of relationships. not when all he needed was a night of sex and no strings attached. a quick call, a casual meet-up, and back to their place or the backseat of his car — it was simple, clean, and didn’t involve his son. 
rules were rules. no bringing anyone home, ever. it wasn’t just about protecting megumi’s innocence; it was about maintaining some semblance of order in the chaos of their lives.
megumi wasn’t clueless, though. he’d catch on when his dad had a “special lady friend,” his young mind putting two and two together. but he never lingered on it — he was too preoccupied with his toys or his own little world to ask questions. still, toji made it a point to keep those two parts of his life separate. or at least, he tried to.
then there was that night. the one he wished he could erase entirely.
it started with a hookup — someone he barely knew, someone who got a flat tire on the way to meet him. she called him in a panic, and toji, feeling half-responsible, told her to wait downstairs while he scrounged up some cash to help her out. it was supposed to be quick, a simple transaction before he sent her on her way.
but when he opened his apartment door to check on megumi, there she was, standing in the hallway, looking between him and his son like she’d just uncovered some dirty secret.
“seriously?” she snapped, her voice rising. “you have a kid, and you didn’t tell me? what kinda man are you?”
toji froze, his jaw tightening. “it’s not like that,” he started, already regretting everything about this situation. “he’s my son, yeah, but —”
“oh my god,” she interrupted, her voice dripping with something he couldn’t quite place. 
“you’re a single dad? that’s so...hot. like, wow, you’re doing all this on your own? it’s inspiring.”
toji stared at her, horrified. was this some kind of joke? how the hell did she jump from being pissed to romanticizing his life? did she think being a single parent was some kind of aesthetic?
before he could say anything, you appeared from your apartment, drawn out by the commotion. one look at the scene and you put the pieces together — the woman’s flirtatious tone, toji’s visible irritation, megumi standing awkwardly behind his dad.
“are you serious right now?” you said, your voice cutting through the tension like a blade. “do you even hear yourself? you don’t just barge into someone’s home and start fantasizing about their struggles like it’s some rom-com plot.”
the woman blinked, clearly taken aback, but you didn’t stop. “being a single parent isn’t some cute little quirk, okay? it’s hard work. it’s messy and exhausting, and you don’t get to stand there and act like it’s sexy or whatever weird thing you’re doing right now. you’re embarrassing yourself.”
toji folded his arms, leaning against the doorframe as he watched you with something close to amusement. “yeah,” he added, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “what she said.”
the woman huffed, muttered something about how she “didn’t mean it like that,” and stormed off, leaving behind a cloud of awkward silence.
you turned to toji, your arms crossed. “seriously, fushiguro? what the hell was that?”
“don’t look at me,” he grunted. “i told her to wait downstairs. didn’t think she’d take it as an invitation to meet my kid.”
“well, maybe next time, screen your hookups better,” you shot back before glancing at megumi. “you okay, honey?”
megumi shrugged, holding his pillow like it was a shield. “she was weird.”
toji sighed, running a hand through his hair. “tell me about it.”
as you headed back to your apartment, you muttered loud enough for him to hear, “unbelievable.”
toji couldn’t argue with that.
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pta meetings were never on your radar — your ex had made sure of that. "you don’t need to stress about these things," he’d said, his tone dismissive, as if your role as a parent didn’t extend to showing up for your own kid. but the moment he insisted one too many times, you knew it was less about easing your workload and more about him basking in the spotlight of being the ever-dedicated single dad.
you weren’t having it anymore.
so, there you were, shuffling awkwardly through the school halls, feeling like a stranger in your own child’s life. asking for directions to the third-grade pta made you feel ridiculous, but not nearly as much as the sight that greeted you when you finally found the room.
your daughter sat next to her father, the picture of poise and politeness. her hands folded neatly in her lap, her back straight, nodding along as if she’d been practicing for a commercial. for a moment, you wondered if you’d walked into the wrong classroom.
but then her eyes flicked to the door, and the facade crumbled. she leaped out of her chair, her tiny legs carrying her toward you as she yelled, “mama!” loud enough to turn heads. the force of her hug nearly knocked the wind out of you, but you didn’t care. this — her joy, her excitement — was worth every awkward second of wandering the school halls.
your ex, however, looked less than thrilled. his jaw tightened, his smile turned brittle, and you swore his ears went red. 
“you’re not supposed to be here,” he hissed, his voice low but venomous. “we agreed —”
“you decided,” you cut him off, your voice calm but firm. “i have just as much right to be here as you do.”
your daughter, oblivious to the tension, looked up at both of you with wide, curious eyes. “but daddy said you don’t like school stuff,” she said, her little brow furrowed. “is that true?”
you knelt down, brushing a stray hair from her face. “of course not, sweetheart. i love being here for you. don’t ever think otherwise, okay?”
her face lit up again, but the moment was short-lived. your ex scoffed, muttering something under his breath about boundaries and making a scene. you felt the familiar heat of embarrassment creeping up your neck, the weight of the other parents’ stares pressing down on you.
and then, as if on cue, toji strolled in with megumi trailing behind him, looking as uninterested as ever.
toji’s eyes scanned the room, landing on the little drama unfolding between you and your ex. a smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth. “looks like i’m not the only one dreading this circus,” he drawled, loud enough for everyone to hear.
megumi, clutching a slightly crumpled report card, muttered, “dad, can we just sit down?”
toji ignored him, stepping closer to where you were standing. “need backup?” he asked, his tone teasing but with a glint of seriousness in his eyes.
your ex bristled, standing a little straighter. “this isn’t any of your business.”
“maybe not,” toji said, crossing his arms, “but if you’re gonna start a scene in front of your kid, might as well make it entertaining for the rest of us.”
you bit back a laugh, your shoulders relaxing for the first time since you’d walked into the room. your ex muttered something incoherent before storming back to his seat, clearly deciding he’d rather sulk than argue with toji.
“thanks,” you said quietly, glancing at him.
“don’t mention it,” he replied, waving a hand. “besides, i could use the distraction. these meetings are the worst.”
megumi sighed dramatically, dragging his dad toward the nearest empty seats. your daughter tugged on your hand, pulling you toward her spot. “sit next to me, mommy!” she insisted, her voice brimming with excitement.
and just like that, the weight of embarrassment lifted. maybe the pta wasn’t so dreadful after all.
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stationery shopping ranked high on toji’s list of things he’d rather not do. it wasn’t just the hassle of navigating cramped aisles and overly enthusiastic sales clerks — it was the quiet longing he saw in megumi’s eyes. his kid had always been practical, never asking for much. a pencil and eraser were all he ever said he needed. 
but toji wasn’t blind. he noticed the way megumi’s gaze lingered on superhero-themed pouches, colorful erasers, or fancy gel pens that clicked in three different colors.
today, however, megumi wasn’t eyeing superheroes. he stood rooted in front of the store’s most ridiculously pink setup — hello kitty galore. pink pouches, glittery pens, stickers with cartoon bows and sparkles. “what’re ya staring at, brat?” toji grumbled, leaning against the cart.
“nothing,” megumi mumbled, looking down at his sneakers.
toji raised a brow. “yeah, sure. ‘nothing’ has you glued there like a statue.”
“it’s for...her,” megumi muttered, barely loud enough to hear.
“her?” for a second, toji wondered if his kid had cooked up another imaginary friend. but then it clicked. “her” wasn’t imaginary — it was your daughter. ever since she had dragged megumi into practicing her ballet routine in the hallway, she’d been on his radar. toji had caught him talking about her in passing, dropping little comments about her sparkly shoes or how good she was at balancing on her toes.
toji scratched the back of his head, sighing. “alright, pick something out.”
megumi’s head snapped up, his eyes wide. “really?”
“yeah, really. just don’t make me regret it.”
a few minutes later, toji was standing in line with a glittery-pen set, the kind of thing he never thought he’d buy in his lifetime. at checkout, he stared at the receipt longer than necessary, grumbling about how overpriced stationery had gotten. still, he couldn’t shake the thought of megumi’s sheepish little smile when he picked out the pen set.
later that day, toji knocked on your door, the pen set in hand. when you opened it, he held the package out awkwardly. “here,” he said gruffly. “megs wanted to give this to your girl.”
you blinked in surprise, looking between him and the gift. “oh, uh, thank you. that’s sweet of him.”
“yeah, well, don’t make a big deal out of it,” he muttered, already turning to leave.
“wait.” you disappeared into the apartment for a moment before coming back with a box in hand. “give this to megumi. my daughter won it in a raffle at school and insisted it was for him.”
toji frowned, taking the box. when he opened it, his jaw nearly dropped. inside was a limited-edition action figure of megumi’s favorite superhero, still in its pristine packaging. “seriously?” he asked, glancing up at you.
you shrugged, smiling. “she said he deserves it for helping her with ballet.”
when toji handed the box to megumi later, the boy’s eyes went as wide as saucers. “this is for me?” he asked, his voice almost disbelieving.
“yep,” toji said, leaning against the doorframe, a smirk tugging at his lips. “from her.”
megumi cradled the box like it was made of glass, his face lighting up in a way toji hadn’t seen in a while. “she’s...cool,” he mumbled, his ears turning red.
toji snorted, ruffling his son’s hair. “yeah, kid. guess she is.”
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it started with the clatter of plastic pots and pans echoing in the hallway. toji peeked out, ready to bark at whoever was making the ruckus, only to see your kid — a whirlwind in a frilly dress — dragging megumi out of the apartment by his wrist. toji frowned, leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed. “what’s she up to now?” he muttered to himself.
your girl had plopped her miniature kitchen set right in the middle of the hallway, setting it up with an authority that would make a professional chef jealous. “okay, megumi,” she declared, hands on her hips. “we’re playing house-house.”
megumi shuffled awkwardly, glancing at the scattered pink cookware. “uh...i don’t know how to play,” he mumbled, scratching the back of his head.
your daughter waved off his hesitation with a dramatic flourish. “it’s easy! you’re the dad, and i’m the mom, and we make dinner together.”
toji suppressed a snort. the dad, huh? poor kid.
but then megumi, shifting uncomfortably, mumbled, “what’s...a dad supposed to do?”
your daughter blinked at him, pausing her bustling activity. “you don’t know?”
he shook his head, his hands stuffed in his pockets.
“well,” she said, her tone matter-of-fact, “my dad doesn’t play house-house much. but it’s okay! we’ll just figure it out.”
toji’s chest tightened at her words, his grip on the doorframe unconsciously tightening. he didn’t think a kid’s game could hit so close to home, but there it was. she said it so simply, so innocently, like it was a fact of life. and megumi just nodded, kneeling down next to her and fumbling with a tiny plastic frying pan, like he was trying to make sense of a concept he couldn’t quite grasp.
when he glanced across the hall, he saw you standing there. you weren’t smiling. the look in your eyes was a mirror of his own — quiet, pained recognition. you knew. how could you not? this was your life too, wasn’t it? this strange, fragmented version of what a “home” was supposed to be.
and for once, toji didn’t have a quip or a grumble. he just stood there, watching his kid try to figure out what “playing house” meant, wondering if maybe the real problem wasn’t the game at all.
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there were days when the weight of work pressed so heavily on your shoulders, you didn’t know if you’d make it to bedtime without breaking. days when you stared at your laptop screen, the relentless deadlines pounding in your head, and wondered if anyone cared enough to ask how you were holding up. 
your daughter? what could you even tell an eight-year-old? that mamma’s work feels like it’s swallowing her whole? your ex? let’s not kid anyone — he didn’t give a damn.
so when you heard the faint knock on your door, you sighed, ready to dismiss whatever delivery or inconvenience had shown up at your doorstep. but it wasn’t a courier. it was megumi, standing there awkwardly, holding a casserole dish that looked far too heavy for him.
“uh, hi,” he mumbled, not meeting your eyes. “my dad said you should eat this. and, um...are you okay?”
you blinked, caught completely off guard. “i — yeah, i’m fine. why are you —”
“dad said you looked ‘off.’” he shifted his weight, staring at the floor like the words were a script he was forced to read. “so he made food. and, uh...he said you should eat it. or something.”
you stared at the casserole, the steam fogging up the glass lid, before your gaze moved back to megumi. “your dad sent you?”
megumi nodded, still not looking up. “yeah. but also...uh, you shouldn’t be sad. ’cause my teacher says work is like a big test. and you can’t cry during tests.”
you let out a soft laugh despite yourself. “is that so?”
“yeah,” he said, more confidently now. “and also...you should have cookies after tests. or...or, like, cake. something sweet.”
you crouched down so you were eye level with him, your exhaustion momentarily forgotten. “thank you, megumi. you’re very thoughtful.”
he shrugged, his ears turning red. “it’s just what people do, right?”
“you’re absolutely right,” you said, reaching out to ruffle his hair. “tell your dad thank you for the food, okay?”
megumi nodded, suddenly eager to escape, and darted back toward his apartment. as you stood, watching him go, you caught a glimpse of toji leaning against the doorway, his arms crossed, pretending like he wasn’t paying attention. your eyes met, and he gave a half-smirk, a silent acknowledgment that, yeah, he sent his kid over to do the emotional heavy lifting.
you didn’t know whether to laugh or roll your eyes, but as you brought the casserole inside and inhaled the warm, comforting aroma, you realized it didn’t matter. the gesture had worked. 
and for the first time that day, you felt a little less alone.
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toji leaned against the garbage chute, the crumpled bag dangling from his grip like the weight of his entire day had been stuffed inside it. his head was pounding, his nerves frayed, and the sheer mental load of keeping everything together made his chest feel tight. 
just one drink, he thought. one drink to take the edge off. 
but the thought of megumi catching even a whiff of whiskey on his breath, of being the kind of dad who needed an escape like that, stopped him cold.
that’s when you showed up, bag in hand, hair disheveled from a long day. you gave him a quick glance, your usual mixture of mild irritation and casual acknowledgment, before tossing your garbage into the chute.
“you look like hell,” you said bluntly, folding your arms.
“gee, thanks,” toji shot back, voice dripping with sarcasm. “needed that.”
you didn’t flinch. instead, you just leaned against the wall beside him, watching as he seemed to wrestle with something internally. you weren’t dumb — you could tell when someone was running on fumes.
“you ever feel like you’re drowning?” he asked suddenly, surprising even himself with the admission.
you blinked, caught off guard by his honesty. “constantly,” you replied, your tone softer than usual. “but i’m guessing you mean with the whole...single parent thing.”
toji chuckled dryly, shaking his head. “ding, ding. i don’t know how you do it. you make it look...effortless.”
“effortless?” you raised an eyebrow, almost laughing at the absurdity. “you think i have it together? newsflash, toji: my kid’s with me two days a week. that’s not parenting perfection. that’s a weekend babysitting gig.”
“still,” he muttered. “you make those two days count. i see it. i hear it.”
you exhaled, running a hand through your hair. “look, i don’t have all the answers. but what i’ve learned? you can’t do it all. not perfectly. no one can. and pretending you can is just setting yourself up to fail. so...cut yourself some slack. you’re not screwing up as bad as you think.”
he stared at you for a moment, the words sinking in like drops of water on parched earth. it wasn’t a grand revelation, but coming from you — iron mom of the year — it hit different.
“you really believe that?” he asked, his voice quieter than usual.
you shrugged. “not always. but it’s what i tell myself when i feel like i’m about to lose it. sometimes it helps. sometimes it doesn’t. but it’s better than drinking yourself stupid.”
toji’s eyes flicked to you, his brow furrowing. “how’d you —”
“please,” you cut him off. “you think i don’t know that look? seen it in the mirror too many times.”
he huffed out a laugh, shaking his head. “you’re something else, you know that?”
“so are you,” you countered, nudging his arm lightly. “whether you believe it or not. and whether you’ll admit it or not.”
he didn’t respond, just stood there for a moment, the faintest smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. and as you turned to head back to your apartment, he found himself standing a little taller, the crushing weight of the day feeling just a little lighter.he still wouldn’t call it respect. but maybe, just maybe, he didn’t hate you as much as he thought.
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your ex’s text had felt like a sucker punch, the kind that knocked the wind right out of you. you’d stared at the message for far too long, rereading his smug little declaration: “taking her on a trip she’ll never forget. don’t worry about the details.” 
no invite for you, no mention of her asking for you — just a cruel reminder that he still had ways to hurt you. and for her birthday, of all things.
you spent the next two weeks in a fog. the silence in your apartment was deafening without her, no shrieks of laughter, no tiny footsteps running to show you her latest masterpiece. it felt like someone had pressed pause on your life, leaving you stuck in this unbearable limbo. every day you’d get up, go to work, and come home to the same aching emptiness. you even avoided the hallway, unwilling to face anyone — not even toji and megumi.
but then, one evening, as you were sorting through yet another pile of takeout containers, you heard a soft knock on your door. when you opened it, there stood megumi, clutching a piece of paper in his small hands. he shoved it toward you without a word, his face unreadable, before bolting back down the hall.
you closed the door, confused, and unfolded the note. it was written in uneven, colorful crayon strokes, the kind only a kid could produce:
dear y/n, pls come to my bithday party. we having cake and maybe pizza dad said okay i want you to come :) from megumi
your breath caught in your throat, and before you knew it, hot tears were streaming down your face. it was the kind of pure, innocent gesture that knocked down every wall you’d tried to build over the past two weeks. megumi didn’t know the weight of what he’d just done — how he’d given you a reason to get out of bed, to care about something again.
you clutched the note to your chest, letting out a shaky laugh through your tears. for the first time in weeks, you felt a flicker of warmth. maybe you couldn’t be there for your own daughter’s birthday this year, but for megumi? you’d show up.
and maybe, just maybe, you wouldn’t feel so alone.
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toji swore he hadn’t stopped pacing since he woke up that morning. 
megumi’s birthday. 
the kid had been talking about it for weeks, dropping subtle (and not-so-subtle) hints about what he wanted. toji had done his best — got the decorations, ordered the cake, and even splurged on superhero-themed plates and napkins. but standing in the middle of his living room, now transformed into a battlefield of action figure balloons and capes, he couldn’t help but feel like a superhero himself — one on the verge of a breakdown.
megumi had insisted on handling the invites, which in hindsight might’ve been a mistake. the first arrivals were fine enough: yuuji and nobara, two of megumi’s classmates. yuuji was all boundless energy and chaos, while nobara strutted in like she was already running the place. “where’s the cake?” she demanded, hands on her hips. toji grunted and pointed toward the kitchen.
then came the wild card. the bane of his existence.
“tooojjjji!” gojo’s voice echoed through the apartment, loud and grating as ever. “heard there’s a party! didn’t wanna miss out.” he waltzed in, sunglasses perched on his stupidly perfect nose, a massive gift bag in hand that screamed overcompensating. toji pinched the bridge of his nose. why me?
and then, you. you stepped in, looking a little hesitant, holding a neatly wrapped present in one hand. megumi practically lit up when he saw you, rushing over to tug you inside. “you came!” he exclaimed, grinning ear to ear. toji froze for a moment, then scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.
“didn’t think you’d actually show,” he muttered, avoiding your eyes.
“megumi invited me,” you said simply, smiling down at the boy. “couldn’t say no to the birthday boy, now could i?”
toji grunted in response, but deep down, he was relieved. somehow, having you there made the chaos of the day feel a little more manageable.
the party was... chaotic, to say the least. yuuji inhaled pizza like it was a sport and promptly threw up in the kitchen sink, much to nobara’s disgust. “ewwwww, you’re so groooossss!” she shrieked, dodging as yuuji stumbled past her. toji was already on the phone with yuuji’s older brother, sukuna, who arrived not long after, looking pissed as hell.
“i told him not to eat like a damn vacuum,” sukuna growled, hauling yuuji out the door.
megumi, meanwhile, didn’t seem fazed by any of it. he was too busy showing off his new action figures to your daughter, who somehow managed to make it to the party just a few hours before her flight. you and toji exchanged a glance — a silent acknowledgment that, despite the chaos, the kids were happy.
and somehow, so were you.
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with your daughter off on her dad's two-and-a-half-week escapade, you found yourself with something rare and unsettling: free time. the emptiness of your apartment felt heavier without her laughter filling the corners, so you did what any sane, lonely adult would do — you forced yourself to go out. and somehow, somehow, you ended up on a date with nanami kento.
god, he was perfect. the kind of perfect that made your chest ache. polite, well-mannered, and respectful, with a quiet intensity that felt... safe. he opened doors, listened like you were the only person in the world, and didn’t even bat an eye when you cried mid-dessert about how surreal it felt to be treated so kindly. nanami kento was a unicorn in human form. you left the date with a full heart and a nervous little hope tucked away in the corner of your mind.
but with that came distance. maybe you didn’t mean to pull back from the chaotic warmth of your hallway interactions with megumi and toji, but it happened all the same. when megumi called out a soft “hi” as you passed him by the mailboxes, you offered a quick smile but kept walking. the sink had been dripping for days, but instead of knocking on toji’s door, you’d booked a plumber. you weren’t doing anything wrong, you told yourself — they were just neighbors. neighbors.
not friends. not anything more than the people across the hall. right?
toji, though, noticed. the absence of your knock, the way megumi seemed a little more sullen, staring at the hall like he was waiting for someone. “you think she’s mad at us?” megumi asked one evening, poking at his rice.
toji’s response was a noncommittal grunt, but the truth was, he didn’t know. for some stupid reason, the distance stung. not that he’d ever admit it. not that he had any right to care.
you were just neighbors, after all.
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when your girl came bounding through the door, her face glowing from the trip, the first thing she asked wasn’t about you or the gifts she’d brought back. no, it was, “how’s gumi? how’s uncle toji?”
the question hit harder than it should’ve. you realized with a pang of guilt how much distance you’d put between yourself and the fushiguros. brushing it off with a casual, “they’re fine,” didn’t sit well either. so, when your daughter insisted on running over to their apartment to see megumi, you didn’t stop her.
watching her skip down the hall, you thought it’d all smooth over naturally. kids were resilient like that, weren’t they? but then she came back. and she was crying.
between her sobs and hiccups, you managed to piece together the story. megumi, sweet, awkward megumi, had exploded in a torrent of childish frustration. how your daughter hadn’t been around. how you hadn’t been around. how he thought you both didn’t care anymore.
you felt your heart shatter as your girl bawled into your arms, her small hands clutching at your shirt. “why’s he mad at me, mama? i didn’t do anything!”
meanwhile, across the hall, megumi was in tears too, angrily wiping at his face as he sat cross-legged on the couch. “i hate her!” he shouted, voice wobbling. “she didn’t even say hi! she just left like everyone does!”
toji sat there, looking at his son, the beer he’d been nursing now warm and forgotten. the kid’s words were like a punch to the gut. he realized, with sinking clarity, that megumi wasn’t just upset with your daughter. the boy was lashing out because he felt abandoned.
when the knock came at the door, it was no surprise. you stood there, your girl clutching your hand, both of you looking just as frazzled as toji and megumi.
“we need to talk,” you said.
“yeah,” toji muttered, stepping aside to let you in.
the conversation wasn’t easy, with both kids sniffling, glaring at each other, and clutching onto their respective parents like lifelines. but as you and toji sat there, stumbling through apologies and promises to do better, you realized how much you’d hurt them by pulling away.
“friends don’t do this,” your girl said, wiping her tears with the back of her hand.
“yeah,” megumi added, glaring at his lap. “friends don’t just leave.”
and in that moment, you and toji exchanged a look. it was one of understanding, of shared guilt and resolution. you weren’t just neighbors anymore, were you? whether you liked it or not, you’d become something more — something messier, but ultimately worth fighting for.
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the fight left behind a new set of rules — some spoken, others understood. your daughter would spend one hour with megumi every weekend, no negotiations. an additional hour was set aside for assisted ballet practice, with megumi reluctantly twirling around like an uncoordinated giraffe under her direction. and then, as if her creative pursuits weren’t already ambitious, she insisted on an hour of practicing makeup.
on a very, very unwilling toji.
the first time she smeared blush across his cheekbones, a bright pink mess, toji grumbled the entire time. “this is ridiculous. i look like a clown.”
“no, you don’t,” your girl countered with all the confidence in the world. “you look beauuuutiful.”
megumi snickered behind her, holding up a hand mirror so his dad could see the finished product. toji groaned, but the corners of his mouth betrayed him with the faintest twitch of amusement.
you leaned against the doorway, watching the scene unfold. the shared giggles, the clumsy but earnest teamwork — it was loud, chaotic, and beautiful in its own way. this was right. this was what you hadn’t even realized you were missing.
and kento? well, the date you thought could be something turned into a friendship you didn’t know you needed. he became a quiet presence, someone who checked in, who made you laugh when work got overwhelming, and who offered sage advice about life when you needed it most.
“you’re doing great,” he told you once over coffee, his calm reassurance soothing the doubts that often crept in.
between the budding chaos in your hallway ballet classes, the makeup artistry sessions that somehow always ended with toji pouting in pink lipstick, and the quiet stability kento offered, you realized that life had settled into something messy, imperfect, but undeniably nice.
maybe it wasn’t what you’d planned. maybe it wasn’t ideal. but as your daughter twirled around the room, megumi trailing after her with hesitant steps, and toji scowled half-heartedly at his reflection, you couldn’t imagine wanting anything else.
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exam season brought chaos, but not the kind you'd expected. with your daughter spending extra time at her dad's house to focus on studying, the silence in your apartment felt foreign. that is, until megumi started showing up more often, knocking on your door with his usual grumbles.
"why isn't the test about superheroes or football?" he'd complain, dragging his workbook into your living room as though it carried the weight of the world.
you’d chuckle softly, pulling up a chair next to him. “if multiplication was about superheroes, what would the question even look like?”
megumi furrowed his brow, considering. “uh... like, if spider-man saved five people every day for a week, how many people would he save?”
you smiled, leaning in. “exactly. now, how would you solve that?”
somehow, tailoring the lessons to his interests worked wonders. before long, megumi wasn’t just tolerating study time — he was coming over more and more, plopping onto your couch like he lived there.
toji, on the other hand, didn’t know what to make of it. sure, he appreciated that you were helping the kid, but every time he walked past your door and heard megumi's laughter ringing out, he felt... off.
he chalked it up to jealousy at first. not the bitter kind, but the kind that made him wonder why megumi could so easily open up to you, share his frustrations and laugh like the world wasn’t on his tiny shoulders.
then there was the other feeling, the one he buried as quickly as it surfaced. it was... comfort. relief, even. seeing megumi so at ease with you, so happy, made something in his chest tighten.
it didn’t help that when megumi came home, he’d mention you in passing, the smallest smile tugging at his lips. “she said i’d ace the test if i think about it like superheroes. she’s kinda cool.”
toji would grunt, pretending not to care. “yeah, well, don’t get too comfortable over there.”
but the truth was, toji couldn’t decide if he envied you for being able to connect with his son so easily or if he was just... glad. glad that someone like you existed in megumi’s world.
he wouldn’t admit it, though. not even to himself. instead, he shut the feelings down, brushing them off like they were nothing. because, after all, you were just the neighbor who helped out when needed.
right?
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toji had every intention of marching into your apartment to retrieve megumi with a grumble about bedtime. the kid was always strict about his sleep schedule — how the hell had he fallen asleep at your place?
but when he stepped inside, the sight stopped him dead in his tracks.
there you were, sprawled on the couch with megumi curled up next to you, both of you out cold. the TV flickered softly, playing megumi’s favorite superhero show. the coffee table was a chaotic mess of open textbooks, scattered pencils, and hastily scribbled notes.
toji stood there for a moment, unsure what to do with the weird tug in his chest. the scene was... domestic. 
painfully so.
megumi’s head was resting on your shoulder, your hand loosely draped over his back like you’d done this a thousand times before. the way you were both nestled together was too natural for something that should’ve felt foreign. it made something warm and uncomfortable rise in toji’s chest, a feeling he wasn’t ready to name.
he took a step closer, leaning against the doorframe. his frown deepened, not out of anger but out of frustration — mostly at himself.
this wasn’t anything, right? this was just you being nice to his kid. helping him out with schoolwork and keeping him company because you were a good person.
but then why did his heart feel like it was trying to beat its way out of his chest? why did seeing you with megumi like that make his throat tighten?
toji ran a hand through his hair, sighing quietly.
“dammit,” he muttered under his breath.
he knew he should’ve woken the both of you up, taken megumi home, and gone about his night like this didn’t mean anything. but instead, he found himself lingering, watching the two of you for a moment longer.
did neighbors really do this? take care of someone else’s kid like they were their own?
and did neighbors treat each other with such quiet, subtle affection? the kind that slipped into actions rather than words — the casseroles when someone was too tired to cook, the soft smiles exchanged in passing, the way you’d text him about the latest sale on megumi’s favorite snacks?
toji shook his head, trying to shove the thought away. god forbid, he might actually like you.
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it was supposed to be a normal monday morning. drop your girl off at her ballet studio, exchange a quick goodbye, and then head to work like it wasn’t eating you alive that she was growing up too fast.
but then toji came out, coffee in one hand and his other scratching the back of his neck as he leaned against the doorframe, clearly still waking up. “hey, kid,” he called to your daughter, motioning her over with a lazy wave.
what happened next made you freeze mid-turn, your keys jangling awkwardly in your hand.
toji knelt to her level, his gruff voice taking on an edge of sincerity. “listen up, girlie. when you’re up there, you give ‘em hell, alright? don’t let anyone tell you you’re not good enough. and don’t worry about messin’ up — just keep goin’ like it never happened.”
your daughter nodded with wide eyes, hanging on to every word, her little face lit with admiration.
and god, he was trying so hard to keep it clean. but every so often, a “shit” or “hell yeah” would slip out, sending her into a fit of giggles. she tried so hard to be serious, biting her lip to stifle her laughter, but the sheer ridiculousness of him attempting to be PG while still being him was too much for a nine-year-old.
megumi, standing nearby with his arms crossed, was clearly torn. his little scowl was stuck somewhere between annoyance at your daughter for monopolizing his dad’s attention and longing to be spoken to like that himself.
and your daughter? she latched onto toji like he was some kind of life coach, her arms around his neck, thanking him in that sweet, sing-song voice she always used when she was truly happy.
your fingers tightened around your keys as your chest did a stupid thing.
because here was toji, your grumpy neighbor who could barely keep it together when megumi so much as sneezed during homework time, and yet here he was giving your girl the kind of pep talk that should’ve come from her own dad.
and worse? she listened. eagerly.
you fidgeted with your keys like that’d distract you from the warmth creeping into your chest, from the realization that maybe, just maybe, this tough, foul-mouthed, perpetually tired man wasn’t just good with kids. he was good for you. god forbid, you might actually be falling for toji fushiguro.
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it wasn’t your finest moment — double-booking a work meeting during your daughter's pickup. you were already spiraling into guilt, pacing the room while trying to find a way to make it work, when toji grumbled his way into volunteering.
“don’t make a big deal outta it,” he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. “she’s comin’ over for megumi anyway. might as well save you the trouble.”
you barely had time to thank him before he was out the door, keys jingling in his hand.
but what toji walked into at your ex’s house was far from what he expected.
your ex was already on some power trip, standing in the doorway like he owned the world. the smugness on his face was palpable, and it only got worse when he saw toji, a man who didn’t give a damn about puffed-up egos.
“oh, so you’re her chauffeur now?” your ex sneered, leaning lazily against the doorframe.
toji ignored him at first, his sharp eyes scanning past him to find your babygirl. she was standing behind her dad, clutching her little backpack like it was a shield, her lips trembling as she peeked at toji with wide eyes.
“c’mon, kid,” toji said, his voice softer than you’d expect from a man like him. he extended a hand, but your ex stepped in the way.
“you got a lotta nerve coming here,” your ex spat, crossing his arms. “what, you think playing house makes you her dad?”
toji’s eyes darkened, his jaw tightening as he took a deliberate step forward. “nah,” he said coolly, his voice dripping with menace. “but i’m a helluva lot better at it than you.”
that set your ex off, his voice rising with insults and accusations, not even caring that his daughter was right there, watching the whole thing unfold.
and toji? he had it. his patience snapped like a brittle twig.
“y’know what’s funny?” toji growled, stepping so close your ex had to tilt his head back to meet his glare. “you’re standin’ here flappin’ your gums about bein’ her dad, but you’re too busy bein’ a selfish prick to realize what you’re doin’ to her.”
before your ex could stammer out another insult, toji hoisted your girl into one of his arms like she weighed nothing, shielding her with his broad shoulders as he glared down at your ex.
“don’t bother callin’. she’s got enough on her plate without dealin’ with your crap,” he bit out before turning on his heel and walking away, your girl clutching his shirt like it was her lifeline.
the ride back was quiet, your girl’s sniffles filling the air as toji’s hand rested protectively on the wheel. he didn’t say much — just an occasional grunt to reassure her. when they arrived, he handed her off to you without a word, but the fire in his eyes told you everything you needed to know.
and you? you were floored. because for all of toji’s grumbling and rough edges, he wasn’t just stepping up when you couldn’t — he was fighting for your girl like she was his own.
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evening walks were supposed to be your moment of calm, a chance to clear your head after a long day. but calm went out the window the moment you saw megumi in the park, his usual quiet confidence missing as a group of older kids cornered him.
his small frame was tense, shoulders squared, but you could see the way his hands trembled as he balled them into fists at his sides. it wasn’t like megumi to let himself be pushed around, but whatever the bullies were saying had struck a nerve.
you didn’t even have to get close to catch the cruel words that slipped out of their mouths.
“no wonder your mom didn’t stick around.”
“bet she took one look at you and ran.”
“you’re just some charity case with a deadbeat dad.”
your heart twisted at the look on megumi’s face — his jaw clenched, eyes glassy with tears he refused to let fall. you weren’t his mom, but you felt the instinctive flare of protectiveness that made you forget every rule of decorum.
marching over, you didn’t bark at the kids or shoo them off like some passerby might. no, you planted yourself right beside megumi, crossing your arms with a look so sharp it could cut steel.
“is there a problem here?” you asked, voice calm but carrying a weight that made the kids shrink back.
they glanced between each other, suddenly unsure. “we were just talking —”
“talking?” you cut in, your tone sharp enough to make them flinch. “sounds to me like you’re all just jealous.”
the kids froze, confusion written all over their faces. “jealous of what?” one of them finally asked, voice cracking slightly.
you placed a hand on megumi’s shoulder, squeezing it gently. “jealous that you’ll never have the heart or the strength this kid has. it’s easy to gang up on someone when you’ve got a pack behind you. try standing on your own for once. but then again, maybe that’s asking too much.”
megumi didn’t say a word, but you felt him lean into your touch, his small hand brushing against yours as if testing its solidity.
the bullies sputtered, trying to save face, but one by one, they slunk away, muttering excuses as they disappeared into the distance.
the moment they were gone, megumi’s tough facade crumbled. his shoulders sagged, his head dropping as the tears he had been holding back finally spilled over.
you crouched down to his level, wrapping your arms around him as much as his wiry frame would allow. “it’s okay, sweetheart,” you murmured, brushing a hand through his unruly hair. “you’re okay now.”
and just like that, this tough, guarded nine-year-old melted into your embrace, his small sobs muffled against your shoulder.
you stayed there, holding him as the evening light faded, your heart breaking and swelling all at once. you weren’t his mom, but in that moment, you might as well have been.
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toji wasn’t the type to lose his composure, not even when megumi brought home bruised knees or a bad grade. he was a man of steady hands and a guarded heart, but tonight? tonight was different.
he was sitting on the couch, beer in hand, when megumi hesitated in front of him, nervously fiddling with his sleeve. “dad, something happened today,” he mumbled, voice low.
toji raised an eyebrow, setting his drink on the table. “what kind of something?”
and then megumi started talking — about the bullies, about their cruel words, and then about you stepping in. how you stood there, firm and unyielding, pretending to be his mom without hesitation. megumi’s voice cracked when he got to the part where he cried in your arms, and toji swore he felt something shatter in him.
he didn’t know if it was anger, gratitude, or guilt — maybe all three twisting together into a storm that made his chest ache.
"you didn’t say anything stupid to her, did you?" toji asked, his voice rougher than he intended.
megumi shook his head quickly. "no, but... she was really nice. it felt... it felt okay."
toji sighed, running a hand through his hair as he leaned back into the couch. he should’ve been mad. should’ve been upset at megumi for dragging you into their lives like that, but instead, all he could think about was the way his chest tightened at the thought of you.
he needed to see you. not because he owed you, not because of some sense of duty, but because the idea of you stepping up for his kid like that made him feel something he hadn’t let himself feel in years.
he stood abruptly, grabbing his coat. megumi looked up at him, startled. “where are you going?”
toji paused for a moment. “i’ll be back. don’t stay up too late.”
megumi didn’t ask questions, just nodded and watched his dad leave the apartment.
when toji knocked on your door, he didn’t even know what he was going to say. a simple “thank you” didn’t feel like enough, but what else could he offer? the way his hands flexed at his sides and the way his heart pounded in his chest betrayed the calm exterior he was trying to maintain.
when you opened the door, he saw the surprise flash in your eyes. “toji?”
he rubbed the back of his neck, looking almost sheepish — a sight you never thought you’d see. “can i come in?”
and that’s when you felt it too — something bubbling between you both, something that had been building for a while, but neither of you had been ready to face. until now.
toji stood there, hands shoved into his jacket pockets, his eyes flicking between you and the floor like the words he was searching for might be scrawled on the ground. he wasn’t the kind of man who talked about his feelings, let alone spilled them out like this.
but he had to say something.
“look,” he started, voice low and gruff, “i’m not great with... this kind of thing.”
you tilted your head, waiting patiently, and that just made it harder for him.
he huffed out a breath, rubbing the back of his neck. “megumi told me what happened today. how you... stepped in. and, uh —” he paused, almost wincing at how clumsy his words sounded, “ — just... thanks. for being there. for him.”
you smiled softly, opening your mouth to respond, but he held up a hand, cutting you off. “no, wait. i’m not done.”
he shifted, clearly uncomfortable but pushing through it anyway. “it’s not just today. it’s all of it. you’ve done more for that kid than most people ever have. hell, more than i probably have, and i’m his dad.” his laugh was bitter, self-deprecating. “you didn’t have to, but you did. and i —” he faltered, swallowing hard.
you could see it then, all of it — the gratitude, the guilt, the admiration, the something more he was too scared to name. it was all there, plain as day in the way he looked at you.
he sighed, shoulders slumping as if the weight of his words had exhausted him. “just... thanks. for him. for me. for... everything.”
and maybe you didn’t need to say anything. because as clumsy and awkward as his words were, you understood. you really did.
so you stepped forward, just close enough that he couldn’t avoid meeting your eyes anymore, and gave him a small, understanding smile. “you don’t need to thank me, toji. i care about him. about you both.”
something flickered in his expression — relief, maybe, or something even deeper. he nodded, just once, and it felt like enough. no confessions, no big speeches.
just this.
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something had changed, though neither of you dared to put it into words. it was in the little things, the quiet moments that made your lives blur together in ways that felt natural, almost inevitable.
like how megumi, who usually kept his friends at arm’s length, started demanding your baby girl's presence at every outing, loudly justifying it as “she’ll get bored otherwise,” when really, he just liked having her around. and during those movie nights, when the kids were too engrossed in the screen, you and toji sat closer than necessary, your fingers brushing as you both reached for the popcorn. neither of you pulled away.
it was in how you became megumi’s loudest cheerleader at his little league matches, rivaling even toji’s booming encouragement. and the way he’d grin at you like you were the reason he hit that home run, his awkwardly mumbled, “did you see that?” enough to warm your heart.
toji wasn’t any different. no matter how busy he was, he showed up to every single one of your baby girl's ballet recitals, clapping so obnoxiously loud at the end that even the other parents gave him side-eyes. and after each recital, he’d crouch down, looking absurdly out of place with his towering frame, to tell her exactly how amazing she was — always with a teasing grin and a “guess megumi’ll have to step it up to keep up with you, huh?”
and then there were the practices. toji, of all people, trying to mimic ballet moves while your daughter giggled at how his long legs never quite landed in the right positions. megumi tried to feign disinterest but ended up joining too, his face as serious as ever as he attempted a plié.
you’d think the makeup thing would’ve been too much for him, but no. those butterfly-drawn cheeks and glittery nails stayed with toji for hours after your daughter left, and he never wiped them off — not until bedtime. megumi pretended not to notice, but you’d catch him smirking when toji forgot to scrub off a particularly bright streak of pink before heading out.
it all felt so... domestic. so easy. yet, neither of you dared to name it.
because neighbors helped neighbors, right? neighbors went to movies together. neighbors cheered for each other’s kids. neighbors shared popcorn and let their walls crumble, piece by piece.
this was okay. just neighbors looking out for each other. nothing more.
...right?
until it wasn’t.
you barely managed to get out of the cab, your heels clicking against the pavement, your dress clinging uncomfortably after hours of fake smiles and firm handshakes. all you could think about was peeling everything off, crashing into bed, and hoping the world would let you sleep in for once.
but then you saw him — toji, leaning against your apartment door, his broad frame tense, his head snapping up the moment he heard your footsteps.
"where the hell were you?" his voice was rough, low, but not angry. it was something else.
you froze, your bag slipping off your shoulder. “what are you doing here?”
his eyes, bloodshot and desperate, locked onto yours, scanning every inch of you like he was checking for injuries. “it’s one a.m., on a thursday,” he said, his voice cracking slightly on the last word. “your lights were off. you weren’t answering your phone.”
it hit you then — he’d been worried. toji fushiguro, the man who grumbled more than he talked, who deflected every feeling with a snarky comment, was pacing the hallway outside your apartment because he thought something had happened to you.
“i had a business meeting,” you said, the exhaustion seeping into your voice. “it ran late.”
but your explanation didn’t seem to matter. he took a step closer, his shoulders sagging in relief but still stiff with whatever storm had been brewing inside him.
“you could’ve told me,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair. “what if something happened? what if —”
“toji.” your voice was soft, cutting through his spiraling thoughts.
he stopped, his hand dropping to his side as he looked at you, his expression raw and unguarded. he wasn’t just worried. he was terrified. terrified that whatever this strange, fragile thing between you might be, it could slip away in an instant.
and before either of you could think better of it, you closed the distance. your arms wrapped around his torso, pulling him into a hug that felt as natural as breathing.
he stiffened at first, his body caught off guard, but then his arms came up around you, pulling you closer with a quiet exhale that sounded like he’d been holding it in all night.
neither of you said a word. you didn’t need to. whatever this was — this thing that had been building between you — it was no longer just neighbors helping neighbors.
it was so much more.
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sure, the hug wasn’t something life-changing, but it definitely shifted something, like a tiny crack in the wall that neither of you were ready to knock down completely. there was this... tension now. not bad, not awkward, just there. like some invisible thread pulling you two closer, though never quite crossing a line — both of you too cautious, too unsure, to see what might happen if you did.
and damn those kids. they picked up on it almost immediately, their sharp little eyes catching every glance that lingered too long or every time toji grumbled just a little less around you.
megumi, of course, was the worst of the two, his quiet observations turning into pointed stares and a knowing smirk that made you want to sink into the floor.
“so,” he started one evening as he watched you and toji navigate an unspoken argument over whether you’d be the one to drive the kids to practice. “are you gonna be my dad’s special lady friend now or what?”
you nearly choked on air, and toji’s head snapped around so fast you were sure he’d pull a muscle.
“megumi,” toji growled, the warning clear in his voice.
megumi just shrugged, completely unbothered. “what? i like her. she’s nice. and you’re less grumpy when she’s around. that’s what matters, right?”
toji pinched the bridge of his nose, muttering something under his breath about smartass kids. but there was a faint flush on his face, one that made you glance away quickly before your own cheeks betrayed you.
megumi’s logic was simple, blunt, and so very megumi. but it stuck with you more than you wanted to admit. if he was okay with whatever this was between you and his dad, maybe... just maybe, that was enough.
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you sat cross-legged on the couch, sorting through some old receipts and papers, while your babygirl sprawled on the floor with her coloring book. the soft scratch of her crayons filled the room, a soothing sound that made the evening feel warm and easy.
“mom?” she asked, her voice cutting through the quiet.
you glanced up, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “yeah, baby?”
she didn’t look up from her coloring, her little fingers gripping the green crayon a bit too tightly as she focused on staying inside the lines. “i like him.”
you blinked, confused at first. “like who, sweetie?”
she paused, tilting her head as if the answer was obvious. “uncle jiji.”
the crayon stilled in her hand, and she finally looked up at you, her eyes wide and sincere. your breath hitched, a small wave of surprise washing over you.
“oh?” you tried to keep your tone light, your fingers fiddling with the papers in your lap. “why’s that?”
“he’s funny,” she said matter-of-factly, returning to her coloring. “and he’s nice. he always listens to megumi, even when megumi’s being bossy. and he told me i’m the best ballerina ever — even better than on tv!”
you couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped you. of course, toji had said that.
“he’s just really cool,” she added, as if that sealed the deal.
you set the papers down, your chest tightening in a way that felt both overwhelming and oddly comforting. her words felt like a weight being lifted off your shoulders, one you hadn’t even realized you were carrying.
“you really like him, huh?” you asked softly.
she nodded vigorously, her pigtails bouncing with the motion. “yeah. and megumi’s cool too. he always shares his toys, even his superheroes. i think he’s my best friend.”
the corners of your mouth tugged upward as you leaned back against the couch. “well, i’m glad you think so, baby.”
“do you like him?” she asked suddenly, her eyes locking onto yours, filled with that unnerving, sharp perception only kids seemed to have.
your cheeks warmed, and you glanced down at the papers in your lap, pretending to shuffle them aimlessly. “well… yeah, i think he’s nice too.”
she studied you for a moment before shrugging and returning to her coloring. “good. because you’re happy when you talk to him. and he looks at you like daddy never does.”
your breath caught. her words were simple, innocent even, but they struck something deep. you reached out, smoothing a hand over her hair.
“you’re pretty wise for someone not even ten yet, you know that?” you murmured.
she giggled, leaning into your touch. “i know.”
as she went back to her coloring, you leaned back into the couch, letting the relief settle in. maybe she was right. maybe this wasn’t so bad after all. maybe… it was something good. something you both deserved.
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toji sat on the worn couch in his living room, staring blankly at the muted television. the house was quiet, save for the occasional shuffle from megumi’s room. it should’ve been peaceful, but instead, it felt like the silence was screaming at him, pressing all those thoughts he’d been trying to ignore right to the surface.
what the hell was this?
he leaned forward, elbows on his knees, rubbing a hand down his face as he let out a low sigh. you were in his house so often now that it was hard to tell where the line was anymore. your girl's kid-sized ballet slippers were right by the door next to megumi’s sneakers. a casserole dish you’d returned sat drying on the counter. you had this way of slotting into his life that felt so natural it scared him.
did he want to address it? maybe. 
maybe not.
you were busy as hell — a working mom with your own kid to think about. toji wasn’t stupid. he knew what he came with. a nine-year-old son, a messy history, and enough emotional baggage to sink a ship. did he really want to drag you into all that?
but then there were moments, like tonight, when the kids had dragged you into some elaborate roleplay involving superheroes and ballerinas. you’d sat cross-legged on the floor, a makeshift cape tied around your shoulders, pretending to be "supermom," and he hadn’t been able to look away.
when you’d caught him staring, you’d just laughed, “what? do i have pizza sauce on my face or something?”
he’d grunted something noncommittal, shaking his head, but his chest had felt tight in a way he couldn’t explain.
and now, here he was, thinking about it again.
his thoughts were interrupted by the soft click of the front door opening. you peeked your head in, a sheepish smile on your face. “hey. sorry, megs forgot his backpack at my place. figured i’d drop it off before i forgot, too.”
he stood, shoving his hands in his pockets as you walked in, setting the backpack down by the door. you were still in your work clothes, your shoulders looking a little more tired than usual.
“you could’ve waited till tomorrow,” he muttered, his voice low but not unkind.
“it’s no big deal,” you replied, brushing him off.
he watched as you straightened, lingering in the doorway, and something about the way you hesitated made him speak. “you eaten yet?”
you blinked, clearly surprised by the question. “uh, no, actually.”
he motioned toward the kitchen. “there’s leftovers. you want some?”
your smile softened as you stepped closer. “sure. thanks, toji.”
as you walked past him, his hand twitched at his side, like it wanted to reach out but didn’t know how.
in the kitchen, you moved around like you belonged there, grabbing a plate and heating up the food. he leaned against the counter, watching you in silence, and for the first time, he let himself think about what it would mean to let this thing between you be more than unspoken.
“hey,” he said after a moment, his voice rougher than he intended.
you glanced at him over your shoulder. “yeah?”
he opened his mouth, then closed it, the words catching in his throat. instead, he just muttered, “nothing. never mind.”
you tilted your head, studying him for a second, before giving a small nod. “okay.”
but there was something in your eyes, like you knew what he wasn’t saying, and it made his chest ache.
he wasn’t sure if addressing whatever the hell this was would change anything, but seeing the way you fit into his life — into megumi’s life — made the idea of trying feel a little less terrifying.
it wasn’t like you and toji had made any grand declarations. it was all small things, gestures that felt normal but carried an undercurrent of something deeper. grocery runs were the easiest excuse. you’d bump into him on your way home, still in your blazer and heels, and he’d grumble about needing to pick up some snacks for megumi. before you knew it, you’d both be walking side by side, bickering over the best brand of chips.
“you’re seriously buying that brand?” you teased, holding up a bag of chips that toji had tossed into the cart.
“megumi likes ‘em,” he retorted, leaning on the cart with that stupidly casual confidence that annoyed you just enough to make your heart flutter. “and besides, it’s not like your kid’s picky when she raids our pantry.”
you rolled your eyes but smiled all the same, because he wasn’t wrong.
then there were the little fixes around your apartment that seemed to magically get done whenever toji was around. your leaky faucet, the busted door hinge, your temperamental car — he waved off every attempt you made to pay him. “mechanic perks,” he’d say with a shrug, wiping his hands on a rag and giving you a smirk that made you want to both thank him and punch him.
and those car rides? the ones where the kids didn’t even need to be there? yeah, those were starting to feel more like a habit. you’d offer to drop toji off after picking megumi up from practice, and somehow, the drive would extend into picking up your girl from ballet class.
“they gotta meet anyway,” toji would say, his tone so nonchalant it was almost believable. but the way his eyes softened when your babygirl came running out, arms wide open for both of you? that was something he couldn’t fake.
then there was the day your ex finally had enough of whatever this was. the two of you had shown up together, a united front, to pick up your daughter from his place. she’d lit up like a firework when she saw you and toji standing side by side, and you couldn’t help but revel in the sight of her running straight into toji’s waiting arms before hugging you just as tightly.
“this is the guy you’ve been parading around with?” your ex sneered, his voice dripping with disdain as he leaned against the doorframe. “what, you think a deadbeat like him is an upgrade?”
toji’s posture stiffened, his grip on your daughter tightening just slightly as she clung to his neck. you opened your mouth to retort, but toji beat you to it, his voice calm but laced with steel.
“funny coming from you,” he said, his eyes narrowing as he stared your ex down. “least i actually show up for her.”
your ex faltered, his face contorting in anger, but he didn’t have a comeback. you didn’t stick around long enough for him to try.
as you buckled your daughter into the car, her voice piped up, innocent and bright. “jiji, are you coming over for dinner?”
toji glanced at you, and for a moment, something passed between you. a silent understanding, an acknowledgment of whatever the hell this was.
“yeah, kid,” he said, ruffling her hair with a small grin. “i’m coming over.”
and for the first time in a long time, you didn’t feel like you were walking this road alone.
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the house was warm with the kind of peace that only came after a long, chaotic day. your babygirl and megumi were a tangled heap on the couch, her tiny head resting on his shoulder while he leaned back with his mouth slightly open, fast asleep. the tv played muted scenes of superheroes saving the world, but the real action was in the kitchen, where you and toji stood shoulder to shoulder by the sink.
"you sure you’re not just washing that same plate for the third time?” you teased softly, nudging him with your elbow as he scrubbed with more focus than seemed necessary.
toji smirked but didn’t look up, his voice low and gravelly. “just making sure it’s clean. you don’t want megumi whining about leftover crumbs, trust me.”
you chuckled, rinsing another dish under the warm water, and for a moment, it was just the soft clink of plates, the jazz playing quietly from your speaker, and the faint sound of your daughter’s steady breathing in the living room.
but something was different tonight. the air felt heavier, charged, like it was holding its breath. you could feel it in the way toji’s arm brushed against yours as he passed a dish to you, in the way his fingers lingered a second too long when he handed you the towel.
“you really didn’t have to stay and help with this,” you said, glancing at him.
he shrugged, still not meeting your gaze. “figured i owed you. besides, you cooked. least i can do is clean up.”
his voice was quieter than usual, almost shy, and that wasn’t a word you’d ever thought you’d associate with toji fushiguro. it made something in your chest tighten.
you turned off the faucet, drying your hands as you looked over at him. he was still focused on the plate in his hands, but you could see the tension in his shoulders, the way his jaw was set like he was bracing himself.
“toji?”
he finally looked at you, and there it was — that softness in his eyes that he didn’t let show often. it made your breath catch, made the world feel like it had shrunk down to just the two of you standing in this little kitchen.
he set the plate down slowly, wiping his hands on a towel before turning to face you fully. for a moment, neither of you said anything. the jazz filled the silence, but the air between you was louder than words.
his hand came up hesitantly, brushing a strand of hair from your face, his calloused fingers grazing your cheek. “you’ve been good to him, y’know,” he murmured, his voice rough but soft in the way he said it. “to us.”
you didn’t know what to say to that. all you could do was nod, your throat tight as you looked up at him. his face was closer now, his gaze flicking between your eyes and your lips like he was searching for something — permission, maybe, or courage.
you didn’t even realize you’d moved until your hand rested lightly on his chest, feeling the steady thrum of his heartbeat beneath your palm.
and then it happened.
he leaned in, slowly, almost cautiously, and your eyes fluttered shut just as his lips brushed against yours. it was tentative at first, as if testing the waters, but when you didn’t pull away — when you leaned into him instead — it deepened.
toji kissed like he did everything else: fully, unapologetically, with an intensity that left you breathless. his hands found your waist, pulling you just a little closer, and you slid yours up to rest on his shoulders, feeling the strength there, the way he held you like you were something fragile and precious all at once.
the kiss wasn’t hurried or frantic; it was slow, deliberate, like he wanted to memorize every second of it. it was the kind of kiss that left your knees weak, your head spinning, and your heart pounding in your chest.
when you finally pulled back, both of you a little breathless, his forehead rested against yours.
“damn,” he muttered, his voice low and a little shaky.
you couldn’t help but laugh softly, your fingers still curled in the fabric of his shirt. “yeah,” you agreed, your voice barely above a whisper.
the moment stretched between you, warm and heavy and perfect. and for the first time in a long time, everything felt right.
megumi stirred awake first, his sharp eyes blinking groggily as he took in the scene. your baby girl was still curled up against him, her face smushed against his shoulder, and he wrinkled his nose, trying to shake her off gently without waking her. it was only when he looked over to the kitchen that he paused, his brain catching up with what he was seeing.
his dad. toji. standing ridiculously close to you by the sink, both of you talking in low voices like the world outside didn’t exist. toji’s hand brushed your arm lightly as he reached for a towel, and you laughed softly, a sound that felt too intimate for megumi to process this early in his half-asleep state.
“ugh, gross,” he mumbled under his breath, sitting up straighter and inadvertently jostling your babygirl awake.
she yawned, rubbing her eyes and giving him a confused look. “what’s gross?”
“nothing,” megumi said quickly, his face heating up as he avoided looking at her — or at the scene in the kitchen that was playing out like the ending of one of those superhero movies he loved but would never admit made him feel things.
by the time you and toji noticed the kids were awake, megumi had already schooled his expression into something neutral, though his sharp eyes flicked between the two of you as you made your way over.
“sorry for waking you up, sweetheart,” you said softly to your kid, crouching down to smooth her hair.
toji, ever the blunt one, crossed his arms and grunted, “time to get going, brats.”
megumi shot him a look, one that said you’re not fooling me, old man, but he didn’t say anything. instead, he stood up and stretched, deliberately not looking at how his dad’s gaze lingered on you for just a second too long.
at the door, the kids exchanged their goodbyes in their usual awkward but affectionate way — your baby girl giving megumi a quick hug that he tolerated with a huff.
toji ruffled megumi’s hair roughly, earning an annoyed grunt. “come on, kid. say thank you.”
megumi rolled his eyes but muttered a grudging, “thanks for dinner,” before looking up at you.
and then, because megumi was too perceptive for his own good, he added, “and for putting up with him.”
toji frowned, his brows knitting together. “watch it, smartass.”
but the way you laughed — soft and warm and filled with something megumi couldn’t quite name — made toji’s expression soften.
as you leaned down to hug your babygirl goodnight, megumi caught his dad watching you again, his face doing that weird thing it did when he was proud of a home run or secretly enjoying one of megumi’s superhero tangents.
“dad,” megumi said as they stepped into the hallway.
“what?” toji grunted, avoiding his son’s gaze.
megumi smirked, the kind that made him look way older than his nine years. “you’re doing that thing.”
toji frowned, feigning ignorance. “what thing?”
“you know. that thing my favorite superhero does when he saves his secret girlfriend,” megumi said with a dramatic air, glancing back at your door before looking at his dad again.
toji snorted, trying — and failing — not to look flustered. “quit it, kid.”
but megumi didn’t miss the way his dad’s lips twitched into the smallest of smiles. he knew exactly what was going on.
love? probably.
yeah, megumi was pretty sure his dad loved you.
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it was funny, really, how quickly time had flown. one moment, you were corralling a tutu-clad, glitter-faced babygirl to ballet class, and the next, you were breaking up arguments between her and megumi over whose superhero knowledge was superior. 
"they’re literally fake, megumi!" she'd shriek. 
"so are ballerinas in space!" he’d yell back. 
and there you and toji would be, slumped at the dining table, each nursing a lukewarm cup of coffee as you exchanged weary, knowing looks.
“how do ten-year-olds even have this much energy?” you’d mutter, pressing your fingertips into your temples.
toji, half-laughing, half-grumbling, would reply, “they don’t. they’re siphoning it off us.”
it had been a year and a half of this — this weird, beautiful, chaotic thing you’d built. the kids, their shared antics, and the way they declared every single dinner a sleepover had woven your lives together so seamlessly that it felt like you’d never been apart in the first place.
but the truth? the sleepover excuse wasn’t just for the kids anymore. you and toji had grown so comfortable in this rhythm, this routine, that it felt like breathing. and yet, there was still this unspoken thing between you, hanging in the air like a question neither of you wanted to ask.
it was easy to ignore, easier still to pretend that this was just how things were. you’d watch as toji threw his head back in laughter at one of megumi’s sarcastic comments, his broad shoulders shaking, or when he’d lean in to help your girl tie her ballet shoes — his fingers oddly gentle for someone so rough around the edges. those moments made your heart ache in ways you didn’t want to name.
and then there was the way he looked at you when the kids weren’t paying attention. like when megumi would drag your babygirl out into the yard to “train” her in superhero moves, and you’d catch toji’s eyes lingering on you just a second too long.
“what?” you’d ask, your voice quieter than you intended.
“nothin’,” he’d say, but the way his lips twitched into a small smile betrayed him.
but you knew it wasn’t nothing. it hadn’t been nothing for a while now. and maybe it was time to stop pretending.
your ex hadn’t made it easy, of course. every time he paraded some new flavor of the month in front of your girl, you’d see the disappointment in her eyes, and it made your chest tighten. but then there’d be toji — steady, dependable, his quiet reassurances and the way he always managed to make her smile again.
“he’s better than dad,” she’d told you once, out of the blue, her voice small but firm.
and maybe that was the final nudge you needed.
the night felt heavier than usual, the quiet hum of the dishwasher and the occasional creak of the floorboards the only sounds accompanying you as you stood side by side in the kitchen. toji rinsed the last plate, handing it to you with a quick glance that lingered a little too long.
“they’re getting wilder,” he muttered, nodding toward the living room where your girl and megumi were sprawled on the sofa, limbs tangled as if they'd fought sleep until it finally won.
you chuckled softly, drying the plate and setting it aside. “they’re ten. this is the warm-up for what’s coming in a few years.”
he let out a low groan, running a hand through his hair. “don’t remind me. thought i’d have more time before the hormones kicked in.”
you smirked, leaning against the counter as he dried his hands on a dishtowel. it was domestic in a way that felt almost too intimate, like crossing an invisible line. and yet, neither of you had stepped back.
“toji,” you said, your voice breaking the comfortable silence.
he looked up, the weight in your tone pulling his full attention. “yeah?”
you hesitated, biting your lip as you fidgeted with the edge of the dish towel. how do you even start this? you thought about the past year and a half, the shared laughter, the quiet moments, the way his presence had become a constant in your life. the way your girl lit up when he was around. the way you lit up.
“this,” you finally said, gesturing between the two of you, your words coming out softer than you intended. “whatever this is... do you think we should talk about it?”
his brow furrowed slightly, and for a moment, your heart sank. but then he nodded, setting the towel down on the counter.
“i’ve been thinkin’ about it,” he admitted, his voice low.
“and?” you prompted, your heart pounding in your chest.
he sighed, leaning against the counter beside you, his gaze fixed on the floor. “look, i’m not great at this kinda thing,” he began, his fingers tapping absently against the edge of the counter. “but... you’ve been good for me. for megumi. hell, for both of us.”
your breath caught, and you turned to face him fully. “toji...”
he held up a hand, cutting you off gently. “lemme finish,” he said, his voice a little rough. he looked at you then, really looked at you, his eyes searching yours like he was trying to figure out how to say something he’d been holding onto for too long.
“i didn’t think this was gonna happen,” he said finally. “not for me. not again.” he ran a hand through his hair, exhaling sharply. “but you... you made it so easy. like it’s not somethin’ to be scared of. like it’s just... there. y’know?”
you nodded, your throat tight as you listened.
“and it’s not just about me,” he continued, his voice softening. “it’s about them. megumi... he’s happier than i’ve seen him in years. and your girl? she’s somethin’ special, and the way you’ve raised her... damn.” he shook his head, a small smile tugging at his lips. “you’re somethin’ else, you know that?”
you felt your cheeks heat, and you looked down, trying to compose yourself.
“so yeah,” he said, his voice steady now. “i don’t know what this is, but if you’re askin’ me if i want more of it... then yeah. i do.”
your breath hitched, and when you looked up, the sincerity in his eyes made your chest tighten.
“toji,” you said again, your voice barely above a whisper. “i’ve wanted to say something for a while now, but I didn’t know how. you’ve been... everything we didn’t know we needed. me and my girl. you’ve been there in ways no one else ever has, and it’s just... it’s so easy with you. i want this too.”
his lips curved into a small, relieved smile, and for a moment, the weight of the unspoken words between you lifted.
“yeah?” he asked softly, his voice almost teasing.
you smiled back, nodding. “yeah.”
and then, like it was the most natural thing in the world, he reached out and pulled you into a hug. it wasn’t rushed or desperate — it was steady, grounding, the kind of hug that felt like coming home. and when he whispered, “i’m all in if you are,” into your hair, you felt the last of your hesitation melt away.
because with toji, love wasn’t just a possibility — it was a promise.
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another two years later, and the kids were twelve. twelve. a big deal, according to them. suddenly they were "basically teenagers," and with that came a whole new level of attitude and pride. and you and toji? you were more than grateful for the chaos. or, as he liked to tease, “engaged to it.” yeah, engaged. took the man long enough — three and a half, maybe four years — but who’s counting?
your kids, of course, had taken the news with the kind of casual confidence only twelve-year-olds could muster. “about time,” megumi had muttered, earning an elbow in the ribs from your girl, who’d just grinned and said, “told you he liked her.”
and publicly? they carried themselves with the kind of poise that made you and toji bite back laughter more than once. “yeah, that’s my dad,” your girl would say with a shrug as toji dropped her off at ballet, towering over all the other dads and somehow looking both intimidating and incredibly proud as she disappeared into the studio.
megumi was just as bad. “that’s my mom,” he’d say to anyone within earshot at his little league games, pointing you out as you cheered the loudest from the stands, sometimes alongside toji who couldn’t help but smirk at your enthusiasm. “and yeah, that’s my sister,” he’d add, nonchalantly, as if it wasn’t a big deal that they’d practically become inseparable siblings over the years.
of course, behind closed doors, they were just kids. kids who still watched superhero movies while pretending not to, kids who choreographed ballet routines to superhero soundtracks because cool kids don’t watch superhero movies.
and you? you were still on that hustle, balancing work, motherhood, and planning a wedding with the kind of grace that made toji shake his head in awe every time.
“how do you do it?” he’d asked one night, watching you juggle your laptop and the kids’ school schedules.
“coffee and pure spite,” you’d replied, smirking over the rim of your mug.
toji, though? he’d built something solid too. his mechanic shop was finally open, a dream he’d quietly nurtured for years. seeing him in his element, sleeves rolled up, hands covered in grease, and that signature smirk plastered across his face, was enough to make your heart skip a beat every damn time.
life wasn’t perfect — there were still late nights, homework battles, and the occasional tantrum — but it was good. no, scratch that. it was damn good.
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kerorokai · 1 day ago
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it's really interesting to see how people perceive kabru cause there seems to be a bit of a disparity between how he really acts and how he's portrayed in fanart and fan memes and such
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with the way people talk about him you'd think he's this huge flirt or actively trying to use his good looks or whatever to get a leg up but he really.... doesn't? at least i can't think of a significant time where he does. is it cause he teases rinsha? or kisses her as a fish? i think those are dubious examples, but also even if you do read them as genuine flirting theyre pretty small and not repeated with any other character.
it reads more like he's just genuinely charming and good with people. he never tries to make a pass with anyone, people just like him cause he's.... likeable. and in universe characters do act aware of how charming he is (see: mickbell, holm, daya), but they never seem to insinuate that he's actually a tease or that he like, gets around. i guess there's a mention of "rumours" here? have most people seen this? is this what they based it off of?
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it's also worth noting that in the same comic those exact rumours (whatever they may exactly be) are proven to be unfounded, kabru is just the type of guy people feel like they can open up to. they don't even talk about him like he's doing it on purpose!
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if it's cause he MIGHT be half incubus, my friend brings up a good point: it feels like an intentional subversion to not have him be a sexual "siren" in that way. ryoko kui is very intentional with her world and characters, and to have kabru's succubus/incubus-identity up for debate while also having him be not particularly flirtatious seems like the type of irony she would write on purpose.
to me, really, it seems very indicative of how fandom at large views brown men. kabru's in an interesting position cause he seems to get most angles of this type of flanderization. he's seen as both overly sinister and drama-seeking while also being extremely flirtatious and a whore when.... he's kind of neither of those things?
he's not evil or particularly more violent than anyone else, he's just really utilitarian and has this false impression at first where you think he's gonna be some sort of secondary antagonist but he's way too smart for that. he doesn't manipulate people any more than any other character. and he's not really a whore at all he just.... likes reading people? and knowing people? and people like him? idk man.
it's part of this larger issue where brown men in fiction are both demonized and sexualized at the same time. i don't even think it's on purpose, i just think that most people don't even realize this is something they need to unlearn. it's not even cause i don't like shipping kabru! i do! i just don't agree with flanderizing him to do it.
i think kabru is much more than the first impressions of him you might have, or even the first impressions of him the characters in universe may have. and while i don't think someone posting ooc fanart of kabru is directly racist, i think a lot of it upholds the racism people are already accustomed to. it makes me a little sad!
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fluoneia · 11 hours ago
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further continuation of pitfighter!vi | part 1 | part 2
sypnosis. vi left an impression on you more then you thought she did. but, you left even more of an impression on her. and you can’t control a feeling like that, can you?
warnings. dom!vi, lowkey hate sex, use of a strap on, lots o angst !! (in the beginning), uhh i tweaked the timeline a lot so this doesn’t exactly follow everything going on. bear w me!
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damn.
you were surprised vi stayed true to her word. it was two months since she initially left. you tried to move on with your life, forget her, and try to remember that she was with that someone that she mentioned.
if she stayed, that means she’s happy. right?
right?
stupid feelings. truth was, you wanted her to come back. she wasn’t just any other client to you at this point.
god, how did you get yourself into this mess? you vowed to not get involved with a client. yet, here you were.
“you seem distracted.” your friend, and co-worker says while she combs through your hair. you’d gotten close to her over the past two months, her being your only viable source of comfort in the moment.
you frown as you look into the mirror.
“it’s nothing.” you shake your hand, glancing down to your hands.
“are you sure?” asta cocked a brow as she placed the comb down. “come on. you’re acting so weird lately.”
you run your thumb over the indents of your palm, following your fingers.
“well..” you start, “i.. there was a client. around two months ago. she was..” you snort, “different, that’s for sure.”
“.. okay..” asta looks into space as she thought.
“she told me she wasn’t coming back— that she couldn’t. her heart was taken by this enforcer girl. said she couldn’t give her up.”
asta is quiet for a second. you turn to look at her. “.. so, what i’m getting from this, is you’re getting your heart involved in a client you took twice.”
“what?” your back straightens. “no! no, my heart isn’t involved, i’m just.. curious. that’s all.”
“uh-huh, okay.” asta snorts with a roll of her eye. “who is this, anyway?”
“oh, uh.. her name is vi.”
asta’s eyes widen so far her eyebrows shoot up. “the fucking vi? as in the vi everyone here hates?”
“i guess so.” you frown.
“hah! no way you’re falling for that little sadistic fuck.”
“asta!” i cry.
“i mean, seriously, y/n! she’s no good, especially for you.”
“i’m a whore in the undercity. i’m not exactly amazing.”
“still, though. i can’t believe you wound up having to take her as a client twice, i mean, are you alright after that?”
you glare. then, you smile at the memory. “actually..” you feel a blush creep on your cheeks. “you’d be surprised. it’s not just her that got to take control.”
“you.. vi? being submissive? oh, you’re crazy.”
“crazy good.” you snort, pushing off your chair. “besides, i’m not falling for her.”
“yeah. sure you aren’t.”
“i mean, i can’t, anyways. i’ve already made that mistake before and i’m not about to make it again. my heart is never being involved with my clients ever again.”
asta takes a second to respond. then, she says, “you know, sometimes it isn’t all that bad.” she shrugs. “i met my husband through this business.”
“it does more harm then good. plus, aren’t you two having problems because of the job that you met in?”
“well.. kind of. but still.” she places a hand on my shoulder, “not everything in your life has to be dictated because of what you do as a job to survive. it’s rare you feel a connection with your clients, right? especially you.”
“i don’t have a connection with her.”
“you keep telling yourself that.” asta chuckles, “that’s what i said about my husband before he started courting me.”
“whatever!” i cry, pushing her hand off me. “i have a client.”
“don’t go imaging it’s vi!”
“ugh, shut up asta!”
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a week later, you’d made up your mind. obviously, vi wasn’t going to come back. it’d be best for you to just move on.
your hands tighten around eachother.
so damn stupid. you were so damn stupid. your feelings were so damn stupid— she went to you out of convenience, nothing more.
she was under the influence, on a sex drug nonetheless. you went too far with her. you never should have given in to her pleads in the first place.
“come on, slow-poke.”
you still.
“slow-poke is a bit cocky for you to say. i recall you saying i was moving too fast, when i tried to—“
“okay, are we seriously talking about that right now?”
you’d recognize that voice anywhere. it was haunting your thoughts for the past two months.
and you don’t dare lift your head. you feel your breath pick up as you glance forward.
your breath catches in your throat as your eyes land on her. on vi. what the hell was she doing here?
without another thought, you flick your hood over your head. your body curls in on yourself, staring at your feet as you walk forward, moving past her.
“you used to be all over me,” a posh, matter-of-fact voice says. “now, you can barely even look at me.”
“we’re on a mission, caitlyn. we’re not talking about our relationship right now.”
her voice becomes louder as you grow near.
“when will we?”
“soon! just.. just not now.” vi grumbled.
you try to ignore the warmth in your skin as you knock shoulders with her as you pass.
“hey! watch where you’re going—“
vi stops herself as you glance over your shoulder.
you watch as her eyes flicker, the redness seeping into her skin as she flushed.
“wha.. y/n?” she says in almost a whisper.
your eyes glide toward the girl beside her. a pretty woman, with sharp features and rich, navy hair, tied into a ponytail. she held herself so well.
no wonder vi was so enveloped in her.
vi feels like her heart is about to burst out of her chest. she glances toward caitlyn, who gives you a weird look as you stare at her.
what. the. fuck.
that’s all vi can think.
her eyes flicker between you and caitlyn.
vi watched as you slip the hood off your head. you bring your head up with an inhale, forcing a strong front.
“.. hey, vi. funny seeing you here.” you say in that soft tone that’s been haunting her thoughts and her dreams for months since you’ve been apart.
“you know this girl?” caitlyn says as she stares at you. you glance toward caitlyn, brows furrowing. she stared at you like you were filth— and you probably were, body being tainted by the hundreds of hands that have touched the most vulnerable of all— your body.
vi swallows. “yea.. yes, um—“ she closes her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose. “old friend.”
old friend? really?
you glare at her.
“can i, um.. can i have a second to talk to her? alone?”
vi’s hand rests on caitlyns shoulder. her skin looked so soft— so clean.
you try to ignore the flame of jealousy in your chest as caitlyn’s hand rests atop of vi’s, before nodding her head once.
“don’t take long.” caitlyn lets her hands drop to her sides. vi gives a small nod, shoulders relaxing as caitlyn steps back, moving out of earshot.
and then she turns to you.
“i thought you said you were never coming back.” you frown as your arms cross on your chest.
“this isn’t me coming back.” vi says curtly. “we’re on a mission.”
“a mission? are you some sort of enforcer now?”
vi says nothing.
you freeze.
“you.. you’re an enforcer.”
“temporarily.” vi raises a hand, “it’s not anything to do with—“
“just go.” you spit. “an enforcer from zaun. it’s not an honour to be labelled that, violet. you’re a pawn in whatever plan they’ve conjured up.”
“it’s a plan to help zaun.” vi says in a whisper as she glances at someone passing. she winced. “can we talk about this elsewhere? preferably not in an open alleyway?”
your eyes shift to the caitlyn girl she treasures so much. she’s staring at the two of you.
“or we could just not talk.” you push off the wall you’d been resting on, “continue on with your mission. you have no use of me, by the looks of it.”
“actually, i do. someone we’re looking for passed through babettes brothel, and we need a—“
“i’m not helping you with this.” you shake your head. “find another worker there to interrogate.”
“y/n.” vi says firmly.
“stop saying my name like that.” you narrow your eyes. “just because you were my client doesn’t entitle me to help you with your stupid investigation. you were a client to many there— ask them.”
“i was more then just a client and you know it.”
her face tightens with anger.
“not really,” you tut your tongue, “you paid, and i gave. nothing more.”
“you can’t be serious.” her hand finds your arm, and she leans closer, glancing around. “you took my virginity. that’s not nothing.”
“you were hardly a virgin when we first met.”
“yeah, not in.. that sense, i wasn’t.”
you hated that she was right. virginity was a prized thing for most people— hell, you used to hold principles like saving your virginity for marriage. and now, look where you were.
but, much like other people, you never forgot your first. a boy from piltover— you were young and naive, much like violet.
“i should have never done that.” you shake your head, “that was too far of me.”
vi’s eyes soften. she glances back at caitlyn, before looking to you. she steers you away, moving out of eyeshot.
“it’s not that i.. regret it. if that makes any difference.”
you huff.
“you said you weren’t coming back. yet, here you are.” you gesture.
“for a different reason.” she tightens her grip on my arm, “come on. help me with this investigation and i’ll leave you alone. for good.”
but that isn’t what you wanted. you didn’t want her to leave— you didn’t want her to be her right now, with her new prized girlfriend, but she was still here. you hated how your heart jumped with glee at that fact.
you inhale a deep breath, clenching your jaw.
“fine. i’ll help you.”
vi exhaled in relief. “thank you.” she whispers. her hand loosens on your shoulder, before slowly slipping off, her fingers trailing over your skin.
“what’s the big deal, anyways?” you furrow my brows.
“cait will tell you everything.” she cocks her head behind her. you nod your head, and follow her as you walk back to caitlyn. it hit you that she was tall, and it made her even more menacing— towering over you with a mean look on her face. you couldn’t tell if that was just her face, or she just didn’t like you. probably both.
“so she’ll help, then?” caitlyn says, turning to vi.
vi nods. “yeah.”
“i can’t promise i’ll actually be of help to you.” you cross my arms on your chest. “just because i agreed to tell you what i know doesn’t mean it’ll be any use.”
“worth a shot, right?” vi shrugs. i give her a brief nod.
“we can’t talk about this here.” caitlyn says.
you sigh. “we can go back to my house. it’s just ‘round the block. but again— i only have an hour.”
they give a nod of agreement. you inhale a deep breath, before paving a way back toward your house.
suddenly, you felt unconscious about your living space. you hadn’t cleaned it, and there was no doubt clothes left on the floor, leaving it a mess. you mentally curse yourself as you unlock the door, pushing it open.
“make yourselves comfortable.” you mumble, kicking some clothes out the way.
vi doesn’t take another glance at the house as she walks inside, following behind you. caitlyn hesitates, looking around the messy room, before following suit.
i grab a glass of water, jumping up onto my counter.
“alright. so, what did you need me for, exactly?” i look to caitlyn.
caitlyn slowly turns her head toward you. “oh— yes, um..” she clears her throat, obviously distracted. “a few days ago, someone passed through the brothel you work at.”
she fumbles through her bag. your eyes glance toward vi, who leans against the counter parallel to you, crossing her arms on her chest. the blue outfit just looked so.. off on her, yet, she still held herself the same.
she didn’t seem that bothered by the mess— partly because she’s seen it before, and partly because she’d already been in your house, in your bed—
stop it.
caitlyn places a sheet of paper on the island. i pick it up.
“have you seen this girl?”
your eyes move around the paper. you had seen this girl before— quite an oddball, but she was funny. blue hair, tied into long braids. your eyes train on the JINX — PILTOVER, WANTED.
“uh.. yeah.” you nod. you’d never expect her to be a wanted criminal, but who wasn’t down in the lanes?
“how? where did you see her last?” caitlyn says. there’s a gleam in her eyes as she leans closer.
“well.. maybe two or three days ago she came around the brothel during my shift. she was a client.”
vi pushes off the table abruptly. “you took my sister as a client?!” she stalks toward you.
“well, yeah.” you shrug. your eyes widen as you realize. “we.. no, she didn’t want anything.” uou chuckle at the memory, “she just wanted to talk.”
vi seems to calm down, her shoulders slouching. you give her a brief look, before turning to caitlyn.
“she.. i don’t know why she came to a brothel to just have a chat, but she isn’t the first one to do that. it’s honestly not that weird for clients to just want to talk like normal people when they have no one else.”
“i didn’t give it that much thought. i don’t remember much about her.”
you glare at vi. “not that it’d be any of your business what happens with my clients.”
vi puffs a breath of air through her nose, ripping her gaze away from you. she didn’t understand why she was so.. so jealous, so riled up over the memory that you still worked at the brothel, that you still took clients, that other people were touching you.
she had no right to be possessive, yet, here she was.
“.. anyway.” caitlyn clears her throat, brows furrowing as she senses the tension between you and vi, “what can you tell me about her? did she say anything about where she was going?”
you shake your head. “we talked for the hour she paid for, then she left. that was it. i didn’t see where she went.”
caitlyn sighs in frustration. vi looks to her, “this was a big waste of time.”
“it was the only lead we had.” caitlyn pushes off the wall. “if we ask some of the other workers, they’ll probably have seen the direction she went.”
“at this point we’ll miss the last departure. it’s too long of a walk back to piltover if we want to be safe.”
“we can’t leave while the trail is hot! if we wait another day, it’s just another night wasted.”
you h ump off the counter. “just stay here.” you place your glass in the sink, “i have a guest bedroom.”
that was a horrible idea.
it was like your mouth was on autopilot as you say this— stuck on the fact that if vi left now, you’d never see her again. it was stupid if you to offer, yet, you couldn’t stop yourself from doing it.
caitlyn glances toward you. then to vi. she raises her eyebrows as if to say, “well?”
oh, and vi was even more stuck. seeing you again drove her crazy— much less sleeping in the same house again. no doubt it’d grab at her head, keeping her awake at the last memory in this very house.
her chest puffed as she tried to regulate her breath. she wasn’t sure if she could handle herself in such close proximity to you again. it’d surely drive her mad.
but, she too was stuck on the fact that this might be the last time she saw you.
so, vi nods. “sure.” she chokes. her voice is tight as she avoids her eyes, glancing down at her feet.
you huff at the memory of your shift.
“the guest bedroom is just down the hall. make yourselves comfortable.” you move past them, shoulder grazing with vi’s— on purpose, on accident, you couldn’t tell. “i’ll be back soon.”
you still as you see caitlyn move out of the kitchen, glancing around. once she was out of earshot, you back up a few steps.
“oh, and, vi?” you lean closer to her, moving to her ear. “try to control yourself. i can sense your tension from a mile away.” you rest your hand on vi’s shoulder. “if you want me to take care of that.. another time, yeah?”
you pull away without another word, giggling under your breath. you pat vi’s shoulder as you slip away, grabbing your coat and bringing it around your shoulders.
and as you close the door, you leave vi’s head in utter shambles again.
she stands in the same spot, mind processing your words.
try to control herself? after you’ve just said that, and you’re looking like the most beautiful women she’s laid her eyes on?
fat chance.
she’ll get you eventually.
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you were released early from your shift, as the night was slow. you kind of dreaded getting back to your apartment, knowing both vi and caitlyn were there.
you wanted to help them. honestly. but you werent sure what would.
your mind recalled the memory of that jinx girl.
you remembered you tried to advance on her— assuming that’s what she wanted, like many other clients. but she stopped you.
she surely wasn’t well. rambling on about life and death, about family, and about how no one can be trusted, and all that.
and after that, she disappeared as soon as she payed. you turned to say goodbye, but she was already gone.
you huff as you open your apartment door, slipping your coat off your shoulders. you hear laughing from your living room, and walk toward it.
as you turn the corner, you see caitlyn and vi laughing together.
“vi, i’m serious!”
you linger in the background as you watch them.
“i mean, the look on my fathers face. he couldn’t believe it at first.”
“well, you won’t be able to get rid of me, anyway.”
your face tightens as you watch her place her head on caitlyns shoulder. she spins a pen in her hand.
“i’m the dirt under your nails, cupcake.”
you decide to leave it alone there.
you step back, running a hand over your neck. so she was happy. you grimace as you walk down the hall, entering your bathroom.
“stupid.” you’d whisper to yourself.
here you thought you had vi wrapped around your finger. but really, you were wrapped around hers.
asta was right, anyway. she was no good for you, and you were no good for her. she was right in the fact that your heart was involved. it was involved tenfold.
you were stupid to ever think that you and vi had a chance.
you were a whore from the undercity. she’s an enforcer now.
nonetheless, she was still from the undercity. she was still a zaunite, just like you.
you strip yourself of your clothes. you step into your steaming shower, and let the water run over your body, your hair.
you close your eyes as you try to drown out your thoughts.
it wasn’t until midnight you left your bathroom.
the house was quiet. you deemed that they had gone to sleep, and move toward your room.
you throw on one of your favourite sets— a gift from a reoccurring piltover client from when you used to work there. you loved the silk texture, the white pearly fabric.
and since you hadn’t eaten much today, you move toward your kitchen.
you huff as you walk down the hallway, quiet against the hardwood floor. you grab your glass from the sink, turning on the tap.
“y/n.” a voice says behind you. you jump, spinning around.
“oh. it’s just you.” you sigh in relief as your eyes land on the familiar black of her hair. vi sauntered toward you, leaning against the counter.
“i.. i had a question.” vi whispers. her voice is laced with sleep— she had stayed up to talk to you. alone, finally.
you stare at your hands as you pour the water down the sink, picking up a bag of pretzels. “and what’s that?”
vi bit her tongue. then, she spoke. “what did you mean, before?”
you furrow your brows.
“when you said.. if you want me to take care of that.” vi shuffles. “you said, another time.”
you still. youd forgotten youd said that— mostly to test the waters around her.
“what did you think i meant?” you hum, placing a pretzel on your tongue. you lean your hip against the counter parallel to her.
vi says nothing.
“look— if you’re gonna act clueless, whatever.” you scoff. “but don’t rope me into something that’ll just cause a mess.”
you turn away from her.
as you move, your stopped by a hand on your wrist. she yanks you backward, your back landing harshly on her chest.
you gasp.
“i don’t really care if it causes a mess.”
you feel her breath on your shoulder. her hand smooths over your hip, pulling you against her.
“you’ve been messing with me ever since we bumped into eachother in that alleyway.”
you stare harshly at the wall in front of you. her thumb dips into the fabric of your shorts, resting it there.
“and you show up in these little shorts and expect me to contain myself?”
you feel her lips against your ear.
“what’s with the sudden switch up?” you say breathily, head leaning against her shoulder.
“you know what you’re doing.” violet scoffs against your ear. you feel your skin blaze alight as she presses her lips to your neck. you feel her tongue glide across your skin.
“violet.” you say harshly. you’re not sure how you feel about the sudden change in the air— vi wasn’t the girl she was last time she was here, no, she was how she was in the brothel the first night you met.
this girl really did give you whiplash.
“this is wrong.” you say, hand placing over the hand on your hip. despite your words, you lean into her touch. “aren’t you with caitlyn?”
vi stills for a second at caitlyn’s name. “one more night can’t hurt.”
“that’s what i thought the last time we met.” you hum, leaning into her touch. “one more night.”
vi spun you around, stalking forward, pushing you back until your back hit the counter. her arms caged around you, her eyes so dark, so unrecognizable.
all night, vi had been thinking about how you’re working your shift, having other people touch you. all night, she thought about you.
all she wanted right now was to distinguish herself from the others— to prove to you that unlike all the others, she cared. she cared for your pleasure, she cared for you, despite her mind screaming at her that she shouldn’t.
another wave of jealousy washes over her. she leans closer, hands gliding over your stomach, pushing up the silk shirt.
“you remember how you said to stop thinking so much around you?” vi says with a smirk, nose touching eachothers, her lips parted. you feel her breath on your skin, her hands on your stomach. they truly did feel warm, so calming, so right, unlike the others who have touched you there. you didn’t feel violated under vi’s touch, you felt.. comforted. it gave you a chance to actually feel the pleasure of another persons hand, rather then focusing on giving pleasure.
her hand splays against your back. her lips were so close to yours, merely one movement away. you wanted nothing more then to feel them again.
“that’s what i’m doing.” vi says, voice husky. “cmon.” she gives a toothy smile. “don’t leave me hanging here, cupcake.”
and it’s like everything changed.
your face closes to a deadpan. you push her off, slamming your fists on her chest.
“wha..” vi gives you a look of confusion.
“you’re so.. arrogant!” you lower your voice as you remember caitlyn is still there— the same caitlyn that vi had said that same nickname too a mere few hours ago. “and stupid!”
“what the hell are you talking about?” vi’s brows furrow.
“that nickname.” you spit. “you’d dare to call me that after using it on caitlyn?”
her mind recalls the memory.
i’m the dirt under your nails, cupcake.
her eyes widen. truth was, she was thinking about you when she said that. she said it because she’s your dirt underneath your nails. she came, and now she’s never going to leave, like a thorn in your side.
“really?” vi deadpans. “that’s what you’re worked up about?”
you purse your lips.
she lets out a chuckle that only fuels your anger. she takes a step toward you, before lowering her voice.
“i knew you were listening.” vi explained, “i was saying that to you.”
you still.
“though, this jealous side of you is kind of cute.”
“shut up.”
“just saying. now, can you stop throwing a fit? kind of holding myself back here.”
“ugh, shut up!” you cry before you grab her face, crashing your lips against hers. vi stilled for a second, taken aback, but she feels a rush of passion flow through her body.
her hands are on you in an instant— clawing, grabbing at your clothes so roughly. her lips are just as you remembered; soft. yet this time, they held a sense of dominance unlike the last time you kissed her.
she hummed against you. and you feel so much.. anger, hatred, jealousy, desire. vi was enjoying this way too much, and you hated that.
you feel her hands on your hips once more, her tongue gliding against your bottom lip, as if asking for permission. you give it by pushing your tongue past her lips, her own finding yours as they tangle and dance for a sense of dominance— to see which way will overtake.
but vi leaves no room for argument. her fingers dig into the skin on your thighs. you squeal as your brought from the floor, her hands holding you up as she picks you up.
your legs dangle loosely around her torso, hand smoothing into her hair, pulling, tugging, holding on so she’s forced to never leave.
you didn’t really know where you were going, but now, you were moving. her tongue glided through your mouth, running along your teeth, your tongue, your gums, everywhere, forcing herself through every part of your mouth until there was nothing left.
and oh, did you miss this feeling.
this feeling of passion, of lust, of desire. this feeling of recklessness. you both know you shouldn’t be doing this— but who can stop desire?
you realize she had guided you to your room when you feel your back hit the fur of your bedspread. she pressed herself between your legs, pulling away from you.
“fuck..” she whispered under her breath, hands smoothing up your stomach, cupping your barely clothed breasts.
“don’t talk.” you loose out, grabbing her face again and pulling her lips back onto yours. she takes that as an understanding, fingers unhooking every button oh so slowly.
you lift yourself off the bed to tear the shirt off your shoulders, throwing it to the side.
vi’s eyes flicker as she pulls away, looking at your body. her eyes land on your budding breasts. just so fucking beautiful. every bit and piece of you was perfect in violets eyes, and she hated how she felt that way.
“i missed you.” she whispers, both forgetting and ignoring your demand of silence. she pulls away, taking her jacket off of her shoulders. clothes fly in a haste, leaving you both naked in mere minutes— well, you naked. she kept her bandages on.
you can’t help the next thing you say. “missed me or missed my body?” you huff, sitting up on your elbows.
vi’s brows furrow. her nose twitches, before she crashed her lips back against yours without a word.
ah. got it. you’d think.
whatever. you shouldn’t have expected much with a hookup.
truth was, vi didn’t know. she didn’t know if her actions were based off purely lust, or something else. she tried not to think about it much— she couldn’t think much, anyways. you were just so soft, so beautiful.
her hands smooth over your body, and you were so drunk on her touch you decided not to care about anything else. her hands, touching you, possessing every part of you.
vi’s lips leave yours, trailing kisses down your jaw, onto your neck. you relish in the feel of her tongue, of her teeth scraping against your skin. her hands, smoothing over your thigh, toying with the strand of your panties. you feel your mouth go agape as her tongue glides over your neck, leaving red splotches, marking you.
you gasp as you feel her hands quiver over your clothed core, pressing so gently it made you whine. she was toying you, being so gentle when she knew you wanted her to be rough.
“don’t think i’ve forgotten.”
you couldn’t process her words— not when her fingers slipped underneath the cloth and dipped into your slick. your head throws back, a jolt of pleasure ripping all throughout your body. a shock to your nerves— finally, a touch that was pleasurable.
“oh, you’ve forgotten, haven’t you?”
your brows furrowed. what the hell was she talking about?
you let your mind fog again when her fingers dip inside of you, pressing so deep. you gasp, feeling your skin grow ablaze, the ache in your stomach only growing. you grasp onto the bedsheets, shocked at how fast this was moving— ten minutes ago, you were accepting the loss of whatever this relationship was. now you were thinking, what the fuck is wrong with me?
“you’re gonna feel everything i felt that night.”
she says this so close to your ear. you feel her breath on the shell of your ear, her teeth nipping at your skin.
“though, you won’t be under a drug like i was. i’ll just have to make up for that.”
her fingers press up as if to further move her point. you let your eyes close, body leaning toward her, hips pressing against her wrist.
“where do you keep those things, hm?”
“what the fuck are you talking about?” you huff, eyes slowly opening to look at her.
“you know,” she leaned closer. oh god, her eyes. that smirk. you were done for.
your brows furrow as you thought. her fingers slipped out of you, causing you to frown at the loss of her touch.
she ran a hand through her hair as she looked around, before reaching over you to open a drawer. your eyes catch on the glimpse of her bicep, a glimpse of the tattoo that ran down her back. gods, it only turned you on further.
“ah.” she says. you’d hear her fumble with something before moving back to you.
and your eyes shift to the thing in her hand.
one of the strap ons you owned— and never used, just by the sheer size of it. black, girthy, and big.
“nonono, violet—“you back away from her. she could not use that one, not now.
“oh, yes.”
there’s a certain gleam in her eyes as her hand grabs your hip, pulling you closer to you.
“told you.” she says as she leans back, fumbling with the straps. “i’m gonna get you back.”
you were in for it now.
for someone who’d never used a strap on before, you were pleasantly shocked.
you’d moan into your pillow as her hips slam against yours, over and over and over again. her hand smoothed over your back, pressing it down so your hips pushed up.
you’d never felt this.. this good, this full.
your entire body shook, every bone weak and practically useless. it took everything in you to hold yourself up, to not pull away from her, from her hips.
“oh—“ you groan, “vi!” you’d lost yourself, suddenly not caring about your voice. once vi realized that, she dragged her hand under to your chest, pulling you flush against her.
her hand moved over your mouth, silencing your cries.
at the new angle, she only pushed deeper.
your eyes widen, every nerve, every muscle twitching and shaking with pleasure. you couldn’t handle it, you simply couldn’t.
“not so tough now, huh?” she huffed, her voice out of breath and tight. you feel her being her hips back, just barely, before pushing back into you with such force you felt tears well into your eyes.
how could one woman have this much stamina?
you’d lost count at the amount of climax’s she’s brought you to.
she abruptly pulled out of you, flipping you over, pressing your back against the bed. it was like your body was drained of any sort of will— her strength easily able to manhandle you in every way she could, every position she wanted you in.
she placed herself back inbetween your legs. you saw that smirk on her face, so cocky and confident.
you couldn’t form words to comment something about it.
she brushed her hand over her forehead, inhaling a deep breath of air.
“i kind of like this.” she said breathily as she lowered her hand, aligning the tip of the silicone cock to your hole. as you feel her push back inside you, you let out a damned scream.
she’s quick to cover it, lips pressing against yours to silence your cries.
your legs touched either side of the bed, her hands pinning them down. your hips ached at the stretch— your core ached at the raw stretch the strap-on gave you, and as she pressed further deep inside of you, you swore you saw stars.
“god, oh, i— fuck!” you cry against her lips, hands gripping so hard on her back, nails digging into her skin, leaving crescent marks on her shoulders.
“shh, shh..” she hushed, hand smoothing across your thigh as a sense of comfort, yet, it only riled you up more.
she was so deep, so insanely deep— somewhere surely no one’s ever touched before.
“wouldn’t want anyone to hear you, would you?” she’d taunt, “see you in this position..”
her hips pull back, before bullying her way back into you, at such a slowed, tedious pace— to mess with you, no doubt.
you didn’t care. you didn’t care for anything— you couldn’t, not after this. you were sure you’d never felt anything like it— it was even better then the first night at the brothel.
“i— i can’t—“ you’d cry, head pushing into the pillow to hide your face. you just.. felt so fulfilled.
“oh yes, you can.” she mumbles, eyes flickering over every expression you’d made, engraving it in her mind.
her hips were flush against yours, filling you to the brim. her body pressed against your chest, her hands moving to grip onto the pillow on either side of your head.
“oh, fuck.” she said so softly, wincing as she felt the pressure against her own clit. then, her hips pulled back, and slammed right back into you. she found out, in this new position, it also gave her pleasure.
with how sensitive she was, even the short amount of pressure could help the ache between her legs.
a gleam found her eyes.
her pace became faster, harder, like a damned piston jolting inside of you.
you bite hard into your lip, hands falling limp and falling on either side of you.
“a little longer, princess..” she huffed into your ear. “come on, you can take it.”
“no, i—!” you cry, legs clamping around her torso. “mmmph—“
“just..” she let out a sharp exhale, adjusting her hips so the base hit her clit just right. she moaned into your ear, eyes rolling back, and the sight was just so damn beautiful.
you feel the cord in your stomach grow hot, your body shaking with every thrust she made.
at this rate, you weren’t sure how much you could handle— it was too much vi, so much vi, you were going to go mad. vi, vi, vi.
“oh, vivivi—“ you whined, your body riling itself up, again and again, over and over, each thrust bringing you closer to the familiar taste of an orgasm.
you were scared. scared of the feeling, of the pure pleasure that coursed through your body each and every time. scared of that feeling, of that blinding— oh, god!
your eyes shut closed, your legs clamped around her as that familiar snap of your orgasm flooded through you.
“say my name.”
“v..” you attempted. and then, you deflate against the matress. “vio..”
“come on, you can do it.”
her hips were relentless, forcing you through your orgasm. your body aches with overstimulation, threatening to burst with each and every second.
“say my name.” she says it more directly, nearly damn demanding you to. her voice is a growl against your ear, her hips picking up in pace.
“oh, violet!” you cry, voice cracking.
vi let out a loud moan, her head pressing against your neck, whining against your skin.
and then, she deflated above you.
your body jolts and shakes with every flow of energy, every flow of pleasure. you were so fulfilled, so full, finally getting what your body had been aching for, begging for.
a proper fuck.
a proper fuck from vi.
you had vi. and that was all you needed, even if it was only for the times being.
you yelp as she flips you over, resting you on her chest. she pressed her hips deeper inside of you, and you gasp.
“n.. no! no, no more.” you cry, your head falling against her chest.
“don’t worry.” she says as she caged her arms around you, hands resting tightly on your waist. her hands run up your back. “i won’t push you.”
you let out a sigh of relief.
you fell into a silence.
it was hard for your body to recover from your orgasms when the strap-on was still inside you, pressing into that spot. with every shift she made, you felt your body rile up again.
a beat of silence.
another.
you hear your click tick. you feel her chest go up and down with her breath. you hear her heart beat.
.
.
“i missed you.”
she says this so softly. her arms tighten around your torso, her nose nuzzling into your hair.
“not your body.”
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a/n. uh.. hey.. sorry this took so long LOL anyway this kid kind of rushed i apologize and it kind of sucks but blushes thank u for all the support on this little mini saga that stemmed off a one shot 🤗
taglist. @just-levyy @princesssmars @thesevi0lentdelights @kissyslut @devotedlyelectronicartisan @cheyisagirlkisser @maracujais @n1shuu @vivispace @elliecoochieeater @izu-lu @wanna1be0 @honeybunbunnie @yariany02 @dumblilb @lalalalal16 @vyvvycg @ayooooohush @slvtformilfs @the-disaster-in-waiting (some of ur tags didn’t work im sorry :( )
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cherryfyre · 21 hours ago
Text
5 Times Sarah Cameron Used You to Change Rafe's Mind
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The Charity Auction
Rafe lounged on the couch, lazily flipping through the flat screen's channels. He wasn't in the mood for Sarah's antics, but the sound of her heels clicking on the hardwood floors made him glance up.
"Don't forget, the charity auction is tomorrow," Sarah said, casually tying her hair back as she rifled through a drawer.
"Not going"
"You're unbelievable," Sarah shot back, slamming the drawer shut. "Dad donated half the prizes, and people are expecting us. Do you really want to deal with him if we don't show?"
Rafe scoffed "Since when do you care about what Dad thinks?"
"I don't. But the auction's important to people. Like... y'know who."
Rafe didn't need her to clarify. He could picture you now—probably making centrepieces out of seashells or whatever it was kooks like you cared about. He rolled his eyes, "Still not going."
Sarah smirked. "Right. Because you hate being in a room where people are actually impressed by you for once." She snapped, turning on her heel and starts to leave.
He threw the remote onto the couch with a groan "Fine. but if it's boring then I'm out."
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The next evening. Rafe walked into the auction wearing a blazer that screamed "I don't care," through his hair that was carefully tousled. His eyes hovered over the luxurious room, until they had found you.
You were at the front of the room, adjusting a floral arrangement on a table, your dress soft and flowing, catching the light with every move. When you turend and saw him, your focused face turned into a surprised smile.
"Rafe? I didn't think I would see you here."
"Yeah, well...." He shrugged, slipping hsi hands into his pockets, "Sarah dragged me."
Your smiled softened, your voice quieter now. "Well, I'm glad you came. It's nice having someone I know here."
Rafe felt his chest tighten unexpectedly, the kind of feeling he'd never admit. "You seem busy." He said, motioning to the bustling room.
"I am, but..." You stepped closer, the warmth of your perfume wrapping around him "It's good busy. It's for a good cause."
He nodded, unable to look away from your glowing expression. "Yeah, looks good."
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2. The Bonfire
“Don’t be lame, Rafe,” Sarah called from the doorway, jingling her car keys.
“Not going.” He didn’t even look up from his phone.
“Right,” Sarah said, leaning against the doorframe. “Because sitting alone here and staring at your phone all night is such a better time.”
“It is when I don’t have to deal with John B and his idiot friends.”
Sarah shrugged. “Suit yourself. I’m just saying it’s not a bad crowd. You know, people who don’t get on your nerves.” She paused, giving him a pointed look. “Like her.”
Rafe’s jaw tightened, but he didn’t respond.
“She’s been talking about it all week. She even made s’mores kits,” Sarah added with a sly grin. “But whatever. Have fun being miserable.”
He sighed, setting his phone down with exaggerated annoyance. “I’m only going because I’m bored. Don’t expect me to stay long.”
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The fire crackled against the dark sky, and Rafe stayed on the outskirts, leaning against a tree with his arms crossed. He scanned the crowd until his eyes landed on you. You were crouched by the fire, your laughter mingling with the sparks as you tried to keep a marshmallow from catching fire.
When you caught him watching, you smiled and waved. “Come sit!”
“I’m good here,” he called back, though his feet were already moving toward you.
“Afraid of s’mores?” you teased, holding out a perfectly roasted marshmallow.
He smirked, taking it from you. “You’re lucky this one’s decent.
“Lucky?” you laughed. “I’m an expert.”
He shook his head but couldn’t help the small smile tugging at his lips. The firelight danced in your eyes, and for the first time that night, he didn’t mind being there.
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3. The Surf Competition
Rafe leaned back in his chair, his feet propped on the porch railing as Sarah walked past with a beach bag slung over her shoulder.
“You’re not going to the surf competition?” she asked, not breaking stride.
“Since when do I go to those things?” he shot back, his sunglasses hiding his glare.
“Since never,” Sarah replied. “But it’s kind of a big deal. The whole island’s going. It’s not like you’ve got anything better to do.”
“Pass.”
Sarah stopped, looking over her shoulder. “You know, she’s competing.”
Rafe’s hand paused mid-reach for his drink. “And?”
“And nothing,” Sarah said, turning away. “But she’s been practicing for weeks, and she’s actually good. But hey, stay here. I’m sure your chair needs you.”
Rafe grumbled under his breath, grabbing his keys. “Whatever.”
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The beach was packed, the crowd buzzing with excitement. Rafe kept to the back, his arms crossed as he scanned the waves. When he spotted you paddling out, your determination written in every stroke, he couldn’t look away.
You caught a wave, carving effortlessly down its face, your smile radiant as you glided toward the shore. The crowd erupted in cheers, but Rafe barely noticed. He was too busy watching you, the way you seemed to light up in the sunlight.
Afterward, you spotted him leaning against a railing. “Rafe! You came?”
He shrugged, his expression neutral. “Didn’t have anything else going on.”
Your smile widened. “Well, thanks. It means a lot.”
He didn’t say anything, but the warmth in your voice stayed with him long after the competition ended.
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4. The Family Dinner
“You’re coming to dinner,” Sarah said as she walked into the living room.
Rafe didn’t even glance up. “No, I’m not.”
“It’s just dinner, Rafe. Dad’s grilling, and—”
“And what? It’s going to be a train wreck like usual?”
Sarah sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Fine. Stay here. I just thought you’d want to keep her company while the rest of us deal with Dad’s speeches.”
Rafe looked up, his brow furrowing. “She’s going?”
“She’s coming with her parents. You know how Dad is—he invited everyone with a trust fund.”
Rafe muttered something under his breath before standing. “Guess I’ll go. Someone has to keep you in check.”
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At the dinner, Rafe kept his distance at first, leaning against a tree with a drink in hand. But when he saw you standing by yourself near the fire pit, your dress catching the glow of the flames, he found himself walking over.
“Didn’t think this was your kind of thing,” he said, his voice casual.
You turned, your face lighting up. “Rafe! I didn’t see you earlier.”
“Yeah, well… figured I’d make an appearance.”
You smiled softly, and for the rest of the night, Rafe found himself by your side, your laughter making the night more bearable than he’d ever admit.
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5. The Lake Day
“Let’s go,” Sarah said, throwing a towel at Rafe’s head.
He caught it with a scowl. “Go where?”
“The lake. Everyone’s going.”
“Pass.”
“Typical.” Sarah rolled her eyes. “She’s coming too, but I guess that’s not enough of a reason for you to leave your cave.”
Rafe frowned, trying to mask his interest. “She’s going?”
Sarah didn’t answer, just smirked as she walked out the door.
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By the lake, Rafe spotted you sitting on the dock, your feet dangling in the water. The sunlight danced across the waves, catching in your hair and making you look almost otherworldly.
He walked over, sitting down next to you without a word.
“Hey,” you said, smiling at him. “Didn’t expect to see you here.”
“Sarah dragged me,” he lied, glancing out at the water.
You bumped his shoulder lightly. “Well, I’m glad you came.”
Rafe felt the tension in his chest ease, the warmth of your presence making the lake day more tolerable than he’d thought possible.
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allbecauseoftheboys2 · 2 days ago
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Samuel sipped his beer and watched Angel and his mother yell at eachother in Cantonese. Samuel could never be entirely sure if they were actually fighting or just having an animated conversation, and he could only pick out some basic words. Whatever was happening, this was more interesting than the football game in the other room. Angel set a bowl of brussel sprouts on the counter with a thud. He gaped at something his mother said, and turned red. More shouting and gesturing. Angel's mother pointed at Samuel. Angel pulled a pie out of the oven. An oven mitt was thrown onto the counter. Angel's father's car pulled into the driveway; he had been out golfing with Samuel's brother. Angel's mother tsked, threw up her hands, and went outside to greet them. Angel harrumphed and drank a deep sip of wine. "My goodness, what was that all about?" Samuel asked after he had a sip. "My mother wanted to know why I'm not married yet," Angel grumbled. "To a woman?" "No, to you. She's fine with the gay thing, oddly. I think it's cause my sister's married with kids." Samuel raised an eyebrow. "What did she say earlier to offend you so much?" Angel folded his arms. "I told her that we were thinking of getting married, but like, we weren't sure yet. I can't quite explain to her, we're a different kind of couple." He gestured upward to the delicate gold chain around his neck. "And you know what she said to me?" "Mm?" Angel put a hand on his chest. "She had the AUDACITY to say that there used to be a parade of boys in my life, but since meeting you I have stopped sleeping with so many guys and moved in with you, so clearly I want to marry you. Sam, my mom called me a slut." Samuel laughed. "Oh sweetheart." "And sure, I did whore myself out at Folsom, but I thought I was being subtle with how many guys I mentioned having overnight..." Samuel gestured with an open palm. "Well, I mean, your mom has a point. If I domesticated a slut, it's my responsibility to house and feed them." "Domesticated?" Angel screeched. Samuel doubled over with laughter. Angel drank more of his wine. "I'm not a feral creature. Domesticated, my ass. Well. I am here making Thanksgiving dinner aren't I?" "You are. And you are doing a great job." Samuel set his glass down and embraced Angel from behind. "I'm teasing you, but I liked that you were slutty. You always knew what you wanted from other men, and got it. It impressed me." Angel leaned back against him. "Impressed huh. Are you're impressed a slut knows how to throw a Thanksgiving meal together?" "You always did like to be stuffed." Angel groaned. "Oh my god Samuel." But he couldn't suppress a giggle. "I'm sorry, I had to." "It was funny," Angel admitted. Samuel kissed his cheek. "I am pleased you are my slut now though, and that you want to live in my house and have Thanksgiving with me. I am grateful for you in my life." "Really?" "Yes. And I rather like the idea of marrying you." "You do?" "Yes." "Man, don't do that. You'd have my mom for a mother in a law," Angel said. Samuel shrugged. "I'll just have to learn how to yell in Cantonese then." "Did you understand any of that conversation we were having?" "No. I've realized that most of my knowledge of Cantonese comes from what you use in the bedroom." Angel blushed. Samuel whispered the words for "more", "harder", and "faster" in his ear, and he felt Angel's entire body go hot against his. "Oh Samuel, you stop that!" Angel hissed. "Don't tease me, especially since you know aren't letting me jerk off-" His family members came back in from putting the golf clubs away in the garage. Samuel gave him a pat on the ass. "Come on love, let's get dinner on the table. You can give me a language lesson later." "You are infuriating." Angel pointed a serving spoon at him. "You're lucky I like you." "Yeah so why aren't you married?" Angel's father asked. There was a beat of silence, and then another explosion of Cantonese. Samuel refilled Angel's glass of wine. _________________ Captions are fictional.
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Roasted brussel sprouts with bacon
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gatorbites-imagines · 2 days ago
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micheal meyers fic if you still write for him? 🎃
I rlly liked your other fics with him, not a big fan of him being characterized as overly affectionate so I rlly liked your kinktober fics about him
something in a similar vein to that? smut or no smut is chill, just him being infatuated in his own creepy way
Michael Myers x male reader
Headcanons
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Im happy you like my stuff :3c ive never imagined he was overly affectionate either, it just didn’t feel like it fit his character very much, ya know? No hate to the people who write that, I just like imagining him as a creepy guy, standing there… menacingly…
I think the only way you two could have met where you made a lasting impression is if you were somehow at the same asylum as him. Be it as a doctor or a patient. But I’ve never read a fic where the reader was one of the doctors, so that’s what we’re gonna go with here.
Joining up at smith’s grove sanitarium hadn’t been your first choice, since it was known as a pretty run-down place, that treated their patients more as prisoners than people. It may have been a place for the worst of the worst, but they were still people in your eyes.
You get Michaels attention by somehow wrenching his care from Dr Loomis’s hands, using all kinds of laws and loopholes to rip it from him and then running for the door pretty much. To you, what Loomis did should get him placed in jail and his license removed, as it could only have made his patients states worse.
Building a relationship with Michael is what many would call impossible. But you believed that every person had something special that fueled them, and just being treated like a worthwhile human being always seemed to do the trick.
It took months, if not years for you to really worm your way into Michael’s heart, or whatever was left of it. He hadn’t really had many positive male people in his life, something you also blamed Dr Loomis for, but over time he grew closer to you, in his own way.
To others it may seem like Michael was the same as always, but at this point you’ve worked with him so long that you know him. You can feel his attention follow you, even when you are on the other side of the yard where the patients get sunlight.
It’s no shock that you are most patients’ favorite, especially after you become head of the hospital, after a very long and stressful battle with those stuck in their old ways. It made you start cleaning house, getting rid of bad caretakers and methods to replace them with better ones.
You took it extremely seriously, and would have any so called interviewers or investigators removed from the premises, to not mess with your patients’ care.
You gain a bit of a reputation in the media at how incredibly cruel you can be to the people who wish to use and abuse your patients. Some call you crazy for protecting them, especially as everyone knows Michael Myers resides there.
But to you, it doesn’t matter. You have no spouse, no children, you haven’t talked to your family since you left home at 18, all you truly have is your job, so that is what you use your energy on.
And if a lot of that time is spent with Michael, then so be it. Having Michael actually emote or pay attention to you, is a big step in the right direction in your book. You can never get him to talk, but he does succeed in learning a couple of signs, though you suspect he only does it because he knows it makes you happy.
Later you would look back on Michael’s escape as something you blamed on yourself. Over the long time you had been his caretaker, you always made sure to be there on Halloween, since it was such an important date for him.
He never told you this, obviously, but you could tell. It just happened that you had needed surgery around that time, something you couldn’t put off as much as you wanted. If you wanted to keep caring for your patients, then you needed it done.
So, it truly shouldn’t have been such a surprise for one of your nurses to call you in a panic that Michael had somehow gotten out. Being bedbound, there wasn’t much you could do but give orders from home and watch the tv.
You didn’t technically live in Haddonfield, but you lived close enough that you could bike to town for groceries if you needed to, but also so you could drive to work without much issue.
Seeing no reports of murders outside the usual made you sigh and slump in on yourself. You had put off taking your pain medication, wanting to be clearheaded and aware, just in case you needed to be. And what else kept one clear in the head but pain.
As bedridden as you were, there wasn’t much you could do when you heard your back door open. You only knew it was that door, as it had a loud squeaky hinge you never got fixed, as it wasn’t like you used that entrance much.
Seeing Michaels looming stature shouldn’t have been a shocker either. What did amaze you to a certain, professional extent, was that he hadn’t put on his usual coveralls or mask, instead it was one you two had made together using safe materials.
There was no verbal or physical reply when you spoke to him, outside of a slight rise of tension in his shoulders when he heard you grunt in pain, as you turned to look at him.
You didn’t want to call the hospital, knowing just how volatile Michael could be. And you may have replaced many doctors and nurses, but they still feared him, all but you at least. The only thing you truly could do was speak to him, to make him stay so he didn’t go kill anyone.
Maybe it was the years of care you had given him, but Michael at some point moved closer, just staring down at you and the bandages around your stomach.
You had a feeling he wanted to poke it or maybe just unwrap it, but you had worked with him about other people’s pain tolerance. Michael still only seemed to care when it was you, but you put a lot of stuff in his notes about your professional opinion and growth.
There were worse caretakers than Michael. In all reality he wasn’t really a caretaker. A lot of it was just him standing by the door, in the corner, or right at the foot of your bed to watch you. Hed shuffle after you wherever you went in the apartment, even carrying you when you couldn’t move too much.
you had decided to heal enough to bring him back to smith’s grove when you healed enough, already knowing how violent Michael could be with other people.
To Michael though, this meant more than you meant. He wasn’t one to feel lust or much romantic attraction, but he was drawn to you and attached enough to just stay, to even bring you your pill bottles and water, like how you would to him at smith’s grove.
You theorized it made him happy, in his own way, to know he was helping in the ways he knew how. Another more paranoid part of your brain did worry about what he did when you slept, since the pain medication had that effect.
Nothing ever looked out of place, but you did catch him kneeling beside your bed on more than one occasion, just holding your hand. Or the times hed place your hand on top of his head so you would caress him.
It was inappropriate for a doctor to do such a thing with his patients, but Michael seemed calmer and more at ease when it was just you two. He couldn’t cuddle in bed with you, and neither did he seem to want to, but being held and coddle in small amounts seemingly worked for him.
Michael clearly wasn’t pleased when you took him to return to smith’s grove, but he actually came along without issue. It caused a whole media storm, but over the years you had mastered those too. As long as it helped your patients, then you would do it, to a certain extent.
And if giving Michael weekends at your place where he got to stalk you around your own property was what he needed, then so be it. you saw it as progress, in his own, weird way. Hell, Michael even started sitting and having dinner with you instead of just hovering. To you that was a win, no matter what others said.
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secriden · 1 day ago
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I thought I was done talking about Style in THK's episode 2, but jokes on me, no I'm not.
I keep thinking about Style and Bison's first interaction and how pure and sweet it was. In the middle of the mess that is this 4-way whirlwind of lies and deception, it felt like a refreshingly honest conversation between two people who are only accidentally lying to each other.
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Style seems incredibly earnest when he tells Bison that Fadel is "down bad" for him. It doesn't feel like Style is 'wingmanning' Kant here; or if he is, it isn't meant to be malicious or to mislead Bison. It feels like someone being friendly with his bff's crush and hoping that they can get along because he thinks this one's going to stick around.
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Similarly, when Bison tells Style to go for Fadel for real, it feels very honest and earnest. Setting aside whatever games Bison is playing with Kant, Bison seems to genuinely want someone for his big brother, and not just so he can date who he wants or as a distraction.
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It's also interesting how Style's protest is that he can't see himself actually gaining feelings for Fadel because in a way there's nothing to recommend Fadel to Style at this point. As far as Style is concerned, Fadel is arrogant and condescending, rude and ungrateful (after all, he did replace a bunch of parts in Fadel's car for free), a stick in the mud about his brother dating, and can't seem to take a joke.
We see the polite, pleasant and reasonable Fadel, but Style doesn't.
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Which is why I've been obsessing over Style's expressions immediately after the conversation with Bison. Bison's parting insight is "He's rough on the outside, and on the inside," and I think he accidentally piqued Style's curiosity with that line. Because why does Bison still want his brother to have a "real" relationship, then? What makes Fadel worth loving, despite (what Style thinks is) nothing to recommend him?
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Ugh I wish I knew how to make gifs because Dunk goes through a whole sequence of expressions here that suggests a shift happens in the way he's thinking of Fadel. There's a pensive and thoughtful look and then almost like, "Oh what the hell, might as well see where this goes" kind of amusement at the end. And I think the reason he has this shift is because he's realised that Bison clearly loves his brother and that must mean that there's more to Fadel then his initial impression of the man.
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It's interesting that his next attempt at messing with Fadel actually invites Fadel to play along with it. It's so much tamer and more private than the previous attempts because he isn't actively trying to humiliate Fadel this time. And it works?? Fadel engages in the roleplay, indulges Style's ridiculousness, actually chops faster (whilst the most hysterical series of minute expressions play over Fadel's face <3). Perhaps this was Style testing the waters: can Fadel engage with something playful and not take everything way too seriously? Huh, turns out, he can!
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The next time Style shows up around Fadel, he's circled back to that playful over-the-top flirting that characterised the garage scene. This is the first time in this episode that Style is actually flirting. Every other time was just to frustrate/humiliate Fadel but notice how he's actively trying to look attractive to Fadel now? He's putting all his best (ahem) assets on display, and poor Fadel has no real protection against this. And, oh, Style is loving this! He's gleefully lapping up every single time Fadel fails to completely hide that he's affected by him.
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This, though. THIS precisely is the point I think Style decides that he really does want Fadel for himself. There's so much playing out over Style's face: the determination to push things further, the delighted surprise to see Fadel so rattled, the razor sharp focus, and then desire. Style has finally broken through Fadel's "roughness" and he loves it.
If that uncle hadn't walked in, I'm convinced Fadel would have let Style do anything he wanted, and I think Style knew that.
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It's the first time Style immediately chases after Fadel when he walks away from him, and he's absolutely delighted when Fadel all but chokes him against the lockers because that means he still has Fadel within reach.
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The whole conversation about "love at first sight" is breathtaking because it feels like Style is discovering what's going to make Fadel crack as he says it and realising just how much he wants this. And no, I don't think he's in love with Fadel yet (not by a LONG shot), but I think he realises that he wants Fadel to fall in love with him. This is such a shift from what he expressed in the diner to Bison. In the diner, there was no hope, no chance for this.
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The kisses catch Style by surprise too: you can see that he's just reacting, pushing to see where Fadel will finally draw the line. Because Fadel kisses back in the first kiss and actually fails to push Style away for quite some time in the 2nd kiss (the camera purposely lingers on the way Fadel's hands hover over Style's waist without shoving him back). The third kiss is the point Fadel finally starts fighting, and in the immidate aftermath you can see Style watching so carefully again. And Fadel nearly kisses him again, you see the way Fadel's eyes drop to Style's lips, the way they both freeze and linger in the moment for that one second. The way Style registers that moment and it leaves Style shaken himself.
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It's so interesting that this is how we leave Style in this episode (we only see Fadel's fantasy version of Style after this point). I've got two possible interpretations for this line:
Style possibly catches on that Fadel is more dangerous than he seems. Maybe just from vibes, maybe from something in the way Fadel threatened him that kicks off some kind of fearful instinct. This could be what makes Style start questioning if Kant told him the full story and lead to whatever scene it is where Style demands answers in the episode 3 preview.
Alternatively, perhaps Fadel is starting to become real to Style in ways he wasn't before. Fadel was almost a caricature of a man, one which Style didn't like very much before, and that made it easier to fool around with him. But this? This almost tortured man who clearly wants Style but can't seem to give into that desire? Something is going on and Style isn't sure it's worth the game to either of them anymore. Because maybe Style recognises that he's more affected than he should be. And that has implications that Style was not ready for.
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falsemilkbun · 3 days ago
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Mithrun & Drives & Self-harm
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Warning's in the title, let's rock and roll.
So there's a super-circulated extra about Mithrun's recovery after having been rescued from his conquered dungeon.
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And I don't know how widely known it is that this image is cropped, or that it contains something I consider pretty essential to his character.
The top two thirds of the page are upsetting in a suggestive way. The final third is very explicit.
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I understand the impulse to remove the explicit imagery of self harm from something you scatter around God's internet where it could upset literally anyone. At the same time, I think something's lost when you can't contrast 'He spent most of his days lying down, either sleeping or awake,' with the visceral imagery of him struggling to get out of that position, into which he has been strapped. It's less affecting if your initial impression (that he is totally passive) is not subverted.
Without this, it's too easy to assume that his aversion to things like mirrors and birds is due a vague Upset it might cause him, and that keeping sharp things and fire from him is due to an absence of self preservational drive.
But it's not like that. These are precautions undertaken because he has drives.
How much of that lying down is due to being passive, and how much is compulsory? How much time did he spend restrained, since this was a known problem? The restraints themselves harm him, which is kind of inevitable considering how determined he is to escape.
To me, this does point to him actually having agency and motivation. It's not motivation to do anything positive, but it's present.
And it makes sense, right, that he'd be motivated to self destruction when it turns out his quest has been (unbeknownst even to himself) to be completely consumed by the Demon?
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Something that feels important about Mithrun, to me, is that he doesn't fucking like himself, and I don't think he ever did.
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He's judgmental of his past self despite not ever confessing to being, you know, cruel to anyone. His issue is with his internality, which was an insecure and petty one. Externally, other characters did not perceive him that way. Milsiril doesn't dislike him because he's cruel or because she can tell he's only pretending to like people, she hated him because he was well-liked while she struggled to make any friends at all. I don't think he'd be so well-liked, or basically intimidate Milsiril with his bubbliness, if he was an outwardly nasty person.
It's important to me to point out Milsiril's perspective, because it confirms what's said in Kabru's truncated version of events: Mithrun was well-liked, and people's perception of him was positive. He was not behaving in a way that would drive others away.
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He just can't be close to people, not genuinely. He's nice for the same reason he's always finding reasons to look down on others, for the same reasons he can't resist the Demon's offer, for the same reason he hurts himself. He does not like the person he is, whatever that person does, and he is convinced that no one else could truly like that person either.
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I have another equally disjointed post in me about the parallels between the Demon and actual dynamics of abusive relationships, but key to this one is the fact that Mithrun's vulnerabilities - that he has learned love is conditional, that he cannot bring himself to interface with people genuinely, that he has been discarded by a family whose care for him was ultimately superficial, that he does not see himself as good or worthwhile - make his admission of having felt loved by the Demon super heartbreaking. Considering what it offered him, I suspect the hole left in his heart was exceptionally large.
It might feel easy to brush off Mithrun's behavior in the early days of his recuperation as simply erratic, but I see it as very purposeful and very much inkeeping with his character. He had a love that he could convince himself came without conditions, that promised an emotional security that he could allow himself to rely on, and it was withdrawn from him in a way that is undeniably violent and violating.
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I don't look at the image of him hurting himself and see someone acting erratically because their mind has been magically broken. I see someone in an understandable, mundane kind of complete despair.
On that same note, I see his later dedication to returning to service as a simple redirection of the original self destructive drive. Mithrun doesn't even consciously understand this about himself, he labels this desire as anger and vengeance when it's really the exact same drive he's had all along: to either be loved or not be at all.
...
happy holidays? i don't have a button for this.
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wystiix · 20 hours ago
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ty for the tag eydis! <3 sorry for being late
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how do you spend your free time?
it honestly depends on my mood. often, i would scroll through social media and watch reels when i'm feeling lazy, and i'd organise my playlists and read. if i'm feeling up to it, i record song covers/practice using bandlab (for harmonies etc) or i'd just whip out my guitar and start strumming chords.
what are your hobbies and how did you get into them?
i have a lot but my main ones are writing, reading, singing, drawing. for starters, i was like. a huge bookworm back in primary HAHAHAHA. i used to visit the library all the time, and i still recall borrowing 14 books from the library and i finished them all in one week. good times. writing started to grow on me when i was in year 6, because i was praised for it and got an academic achievement in english. i did put off writing fanfiction because i was embarrassed, but i still read it!! for drawing, it's simple. i drew a lot as a kid, i was the "art girl" in my family. still remember showing my art to my family friend and they said "it looks like anime" HAHAHAHA it doesn't but that was really encouraging for me. as for singing, there's one answer: i'm filipino. hshshsj okay so karaoke was a huge thing for me and my family and i'd always participate in singing it, and i always anticipated my points after i finish the song. i was and is the lead singer in my church worship group, and i was a former vocal ensemble member. so ya!!
what book or movie left a lasting impression on you?
can i say that "wonder" by rj palacio altered my brain chemistry in 5th grade. it's lowkey been a while since i've read the book (i was 9 when i read it) but it pretty much changed my perspective, and it was also an entertaining read. also via's perspective was so UHYGGH OUCH. also. the book thief. i started reading it earlier this year (still on the process of finishing i have a pdf downloaded) and i watched the movie. all i can say? hHSYGVSWGEWHAJNJKFDKO. yeah if i try to explain it i'd write an essay but let's not.
what kind of music do you enjoy?
my taste in music varies a lot actually HELP. like it's literally bipolar and i listen to diff genres depending on my mood. r&b/soul, pop, kpop, rock, soft rock, indie pop, electronic, literally hip-hop and rap. i would also say i listen to the mainstream stuff as well. anyways chappell roan <3333
who is your favorite character (atm or all time) and why?
inhales. venti, xiao, hu tao, furina (gi), robin, kafka, blade (hsr), luka, hyuna, mizi (alnst), namra, cheongsan, hari, mijin (aouad), hyunsu, eunyu, jisu (sweet home), jude, cardan (folk of the air). i can't remember who else it's been a while lmao.
open tags!!
tag + q&a game ₊˚ෆ
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hello! i thought it would be cute and exciting to do a tag game with all my mutuals to not only talk about themselves, but have fun! so here is my short little game:
alongside this picrew, share 5 things about yourself!
• how do you spend your free time? • what are your hobbies and how did you get into them? • what book or movie left a lasting impression on you? • what kind of music do you enjoy? • who is your favorite character (atm or all time) and why?
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i will start first!
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my name is rurumi and i enjoy spending my free time writing!
some of my hobbies (outside of writing) includes: drawing, building gundams and keyboards, and fashion! i got into most of them on a whim and became instantly hooked. aside from self-expression, being into fashion also helps with making friends in college because you always have something to talk about!
a book that left a lasting impression on me would have to be either kafka on the shore by haruki murakami or before the coffee gets cold by toshikazu kawaguchi. both stories have kept me up at night thinking a lot about the 'what ifs' in life.
i enjoy soul/r&b alongside anything of jrock influence, but i will basically listen to anything that sounds good. i am currently listening to 'so what' by lucy!
my favorite character at the moment is rin itoshi from blue lock because hes so ridiculously edgy, but at the same time i sympathize with him a lot. on the other hand, my favorite character of all time is suletta mecury from the witch from mercury series, she's an absolute ball of sunshine that i aspire to be.
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tagging (+ no pressure) ₊˚ෆ
@kaiser1ns @naenaex0xx @shomatoriashi @choccorin @ryescapades
@rindreamery @soleillunne @kissxcore @rainswept @mitsvriii
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ellouchi · 3 days ago
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Jimmy dating headcannons (sfw/gn reader)
Disclaimer: this work contains unhealthy interpersonal practices and elements of abuse.
Side note: this was going to be LONGER and include nsfw but I've decided it's better to divide everything into parts. Finally getting this out because there is a critical shortage of Jimmy x reader works (cries and picks up a pen). Let me know if I missed something or made a mistake.
Enjoy!
— ok starting with the fluff: Jimmy feels too embarrassed to properly hold your hand, like some small shy boy. He will make it seem like you've the one who acts childish of course, holds your hand if you plead enough and only for a minute in public, for a bit more when in private. You can be lucky enough to tag after him holding his sleeve if he feels like it. Jimmy secretly loves to hold your wrist, especially in a tight grip, feeling your pulse beating under your skin (he is like a handcuff).
— Jimmy doesn't say "I love you", not in a usual sense. Instead it's always alternatives like common "You make me feel all warm and stupid inside" and the most rare "You mean a lot to me" spoken in a quiet sincere tone. Unfortunately "I love you"s are reserved for manipulation. He knows it gets people very compliant or/and defenseless. It doesn't do any harm anyway because he's merely speaking the truth. It's actually a litmus test if you love him or not, so be very careful with your words during those moments.
— primarily uses your name or alias you go with instead of pet names. Sometimes, Jimmy would use baby, babe, sweet cheeks (bear with me); dear, darling and love when he's pissed off or he tries to be condescending.
— Jimmy has a preconceived notion that your parents/family wouldn't like him, he has enough self awareness for that. Because of this, he'll try to make it seem like he's better than he is, so you better play along. If your family hates his guts, Jim doubles down, resulting in both parties wagging a war. Doesn't give a fuck about them at all after that disastrous first meeting. However, if somehow you family did take a liking to Jimmy, he's glad....but also puzzled. I think Jim has had shitty childhood, so when he is treated like a proper family member, he's lost. He doesn't want to see your family often because of his complicated feelings, but makes exceptions for the special occasions.
— Jimmy knows and remembers things about you to the points it's both scary and impressive: likes and dislikes, fears, dreams, ambitions etc. On the more positive side, this includes songs, books, movies, comics and anything like that — even if he doesn't like it, he has an understanding of what it is. If you call him out, Jimmy either says he doesn't care (he does, so much actually) or says "Of course I do, you can't shut up about [thing]" (lies).
— Jimmy doesn't have a lot of free time on his hands. If both of you are free, that means you are spending this time with him. No, your plans won't matter if they exclude Jim out of the picture. This involves discouraging you or outright sabotaging you. As per usual, he wouldn't find anything wrong with this kind of behaviour. You should just stop being unreasonable and spend some time with your lover. Look, he even went out of his way to find a movie you two would enjoy watching.
— birthdays with Jimmy are weird (if you could tell from the game). If you look forward to them, so does he; if you don't, well he congratulates you when the day comes and that's about it. It's much worse when the gifts are involved, because Jimmy will actually try to get what you want, and the more expensive it is, the more positive reaction he expects from you. He saved up throughout the year, denied himself pleasures and worked his ass off — if you don't shower him with appreciation and gratitude, he will make a scene about how selfish you are. On your own birthday.
— Jimmy keeps your gifts and trinkets in his drawer (if they small enough). He has some photos of you together, small souvenirs from trips, cute notes you left him — you name it. This habit will get creepy: the things having a lot of sentimental value to you, your trash like discarded perfume bottle and cream tubs, even your underwear. He wouldn't care if you made fun of him, but god forbid you misplace or throw away anything from that drawer.
— Jimmy loves when you rely on him. However, to a degree because this man quickly gets tired of running errands. If he offers to do something it's safe to agree, asking too much will get him worked up so don't overdo. With that said, Jimmy always does small things, like making your preferred beverage during the day, calling to remind you something, doing small chores unprompted, basically covering your bases. It's hard to feel unloved when you are remembered and cared for in that way. Also gives him an ammo for fights in case you forget how much Jimmy does for you.
— Jimmy insists on driving you everywhere (so people would know that you belong to him). Also it means Jim has lots of good punishments at his disposal when you two fight: lock the car from the inside? Leave you somewhere you don't know? Or just not pick you up altogether? Better leave all the arguments for later or don't bring them up at all...
— you are one of few people to see Jimmy's playful side: he just loves to joke around you. He wouldn't like it, but your sense of humour would rub off him greatly. If that wasn't enough this man loves to prank you in small ways: it's childish stuff most of times, like hiding or misplacing an item in your house and playing innocent. Other than that, Jimmy will whistle and catcall you when he sees you and will slap your ass in public when you leave. You are encouraged to prank him in return too, but you will be pranked harder next time. Grins, snickers and snorts a lot but laughs very, very rarely. However, it's one of the most healing things you could experience. Literally restores years to your lifespan.
— Jimmy doesn't like seeing you upset actually. He's not super soft or doting, he will pry the reason for your distress out of you whether you like it or not. If he deems it's unimportant, will tell you to suck it up, maybe even make a sarcastic remark. If it's serious business, he involves himself. Of course half the time it makes your situation worse and him angrier at himself which translates to Jim being angry at you.
— when Jimmy is upset, it's best to wait it out. I headcannon Jimmy used to have terrible anger issues but with years managed to control them to a degree. It doesn't mean he wouldn't lash out on you, his partner, it does get ugly. Him hugging you for comfort is actually more frequent than you would expect. As long as you don't address his tears or say much, Jimmy would calm down with little to no issue. Don't bring it up later too, he won't respond and will pretend it never happened.
— finishing with the reminder that you will be carrying Jimmy's emotional baggage as well as your own if you have any. I hope you have strong and healthy arms and back for that. If you're not careful enough or *cough cough* stay ignorant of Jim's bad influence on you, he will bring you to his level and mold you into who he wants you to be. But it doesn't work one way: in theory, you could "fix" some of his unsavoury outlooks but don't expect too much. After years of blood, sweat and tears it's possible to finally convince him to go to therapist. Praying he would continue on his own wouldn't be enough and you would need to actively encourage Jim to not give up on his mental health treatment. Way to go!
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letteredlettered · 1 day ago
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Hey! I really enjoyed reading your comments on feedback and fanfic this week and would love to get your input on something similar-ish I’ve been struggling with. I’m recently back on Tumblr (lurking) and writing fanfic (secretly) after quite a few years away from fandom spaces. I’ve never posted my work on AO3 before but I’ve been considering pulling that trigger lately. I’d love to share my writing with anyone else who might enjoy it and admittedly I do dream of finding some community by putting myself out there like that. However, so intimidating to put myself out there like that. Do you have any advice for someone thinking of posting their fics for the first time? Anything you wish you knew before posting yours? Truly any perspective you can share would be very much appreciated :)
I posted my first fanfic probably about 24 years ago, so I don’t know if I’m the best person for these questions, but I’ll address what you’ve asked. At length, it seems.
1. I guess the first thing I’d say is search elsewhere than AO3 to fulfill your dream of finding community. As I said in this post, AO3 was built as an archive for community that already existed, and it doesn’t have robust community-building tools.
2. I’ve tried. I have literally posted fics partly to ask where the discord was, a question I have put in the A/N that was eventually answered but not without numerous follow-ups. I have often posted my tumblr handle in A/Ns, asking people to come scream with me about a fandom. While a flattering number of folks over the years have sent me asks and chats saying they really liked my fic, there have been striking few who have come to scream at me about the canon.
This is my fault, not theirs. I’m bad at starting conversations; I’m of an unsocial, taciturn disposition unwilling to speak unless to say something that will impress the whole room. But I am also a pretty popular writer, and I have made precious few connections this way; I think it should tell you something.
3. To fulfill your dream of finding community, as I said in the above-linked post, I don’t actually have great solutions. Since discord is basically hidden, the only way I know of to actually find community is to start cold-messaging people you vibe with through asks and chat on places like tumblr.
4. Re finding community through writing fic, @reads8hoursperday made an interesting addition to that above-linked post here, pointing out that in the journaling days of fandom, it was very common to write fics in the comments or even on your journal. They didn’t get archived and in that way were effectively ephemeral. While it’s nice to have a permanent archive, they were pointing out that the permanent nature of AO3 contributes to the feeling that there is some kind of status associated with fic.
One way to a) deal with nerves posting fic for the first time, b) shatter the feeling that your first fic must accrue beaucoup stats, would be to post on one of the other platforms first. If you post somewhere like discord, it feels less like a presentation and more just like part of a conversation you want to have: hey, what do you think about this fic? Is it good? Does it need work? Should I post to AO3? The folks there can help encourage and cheerlead you to post somewhere more intimidating, like AO3.
But okay, you also said you wanted to share your fics, and AO3 is an excellent place for that, and imo, the best, so here are some further ideas about how to post fic on AO3 without feeling like you might die of stage fright:
5. Title your fic something you would want to read. Write a summary for your fic that would make you want to click on it. Do not title your fic something you think the most people will click on. Do not write a summary you think will entice the most people. Giving your fic the title and summary that would attract you is setting up the expectation, for yourself, that this fic is for you, and maybe, a little bit, readers like you—instead of for a big audience that will accrue the most stats.
I say this as someone whose fic summaries have been endlessly mocked and derided. I’ve literally had people come into my comments angry at me because my summary wasn’t “eloquent” enough to let them know my fic was “good” and so they “missed out” on reading it for far “too long.” It’s a wild world out there, let me tell you.
But my summaries have also been complimented. They have been what made someone click. In the end I’m putting this out there for someone who likes what I do, and it’s been really liberating to say to myself, “You know what? I would read this. And the people who wouldn’t? Maybe they’re not the readers I’m interested in.”
6. I think setting both hopes and also setting expectations around that kind of audience—an audience who wants to hear what you have to say—rather than stats, is important. Ultimately, if you’re writing to be popular, or to attain a certain number of comments or kudos, you’re going to be disappointed. But if you’re sharing what you’ve written because you want to reach people who like what you have to say, if you don’t get comments and kudos, then the problem is that those people haven’t found you, not that what you have to say is worthless.
And I think bearing that in mind can soothe a lot of the heartache around posting a fic that doesn’t do well.
I posted a fic in a fandom that was new for me two years ago. It was the juggernaut pairing in a megafandom, the kind of fandom where even new authors get over a hundred kudos and a decent number of comments. But my fic was a little darker than what seemed to be the norm for the pairing on AO3; it didn’t have porn, and it didn’t have a very strong plot with an ending.
This fic tanked, stats-wise. But my conclusion is that the people who would’ve liked this fic didn’t see it, or even that the people who would’ve liked this fic aren’t even in the fandom, because they saw how much fluff there was on AO3, or the canon is too light-hearted for them. I didn’t conclude my writing sucked or that it was a bad story. Some people might think that! But what I told myself was I just didn’t find my audience.
You might say it’s easy for me to say that because I am a pretty popular author who does have an audience with most other things I write. I would agree I am a very confident writer, but I do think, even if you don’t have my kind of confidence, going into it knowing that not everyone’s going to love it can really help.
7. Relatedly, I think that loving what you’ve written, working on it and editing it and creating something that you care about and adore, something that is exactly what you want, can help with feeling proud no matter what. You might think that if, then, you don’t get a lot of comments and kudos also adoring it, it can feel demoralizing, and it can. It can definitely feel that way.
But there is something really liberating in creating a thing that makes you happy. And if you honest-to-god wrote something that you love, I guarantee someone else will love it. They might not find you on AO3, which can be really disappointing. But think of how many times you’ve loved something strange or unusual you thought no one had ever even thought about before, and then you read a book or saw a post or a video and realized there was a whole world out there that loved it too. There is a whole world out there, and they’re there for you. You’re sending a signal out there to the world. Maybe it can really touch someone.
8. Since I’m suggesting that the trick is really “finding your audience” some people conclude that what they really need to do is market their fic, really sell it to people, link it every chance they get, beg authors they like to read it, etc. I really recommend against this. People will think it looks gauche, but who gives a fuck what they think. What’s really detrimental about it is that if you go hawking your wares like that and you’re still not getting the attention and validation you’re craving, you’re going to be even more disappointed, and it’s going to feel really bad.
I’m not saying “let the universe do its work,” or anything mystic. Fic does require a certain amount of signal-boosting so people know what’s out there. Certainly, post a link to your fic on tumblr, mention it in discord, tweet it on bluesky, or wherever. My wife even tells me I have to reblog my fic posts on tumblr a few times so people don’t miss it in their feed. All of that is fine. But if you are giving your whole self to “finding your audience” and you don’t find it, it’s going to leave you raw and unwanted.
9. All right, so you’ve written the fic you love and you’ve prepped yourself for the idea that you’re just looking for readers to love what you love—and yet, somehow, you’re still concerned about stats. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Almost everyone is concerned about stats. It’s impossible not to fret over it in this economy environment.
People think I must never be concerned about getting a little kudos because I get a lot. I really think people think there’s some kind of popularity threshold where people must feel they have “arrived,” where they no longer care about being popular. I’m not sure where they are getting this idea. It’s just not true. Everyone wants praise and attention; they don’t stop because they get it.
So yes, I think about stats. I think about them a lot, and you probably do, too. That’s okay. Here are some more things you can do:
10. Set expectations around this too, and set them very, very low. One thing that people don’t understand about expectation-setting is that it requires some real time and imagination. Don’t just tell yourself, “I’m going to get two kudos” and that’s all. Imagine your timeline. Imagine looking at your fic’s stats. And imagine how you’re going to feel when you see that stat.
For instance, if I imagine two kudos is all the attention my fic will ever get, I don’t imagine that one minute after I post, I’ll see it got two kudos. I imagine that a week later, I will be looking at my fic, and I will see that it has two kudos. I check in with myself--how does it feel? A little disappointing, maybe. I thought more people would read it. What will I do next? Maybe I’ll go out for a fun coffee with my wife. Ah, it’s not that bad, really. It’s too bad only two people kudos’ed it—but in the end, it wasn’t the end of the world.
Now, imagine I set my expectations at two and I got three kudos—well, that feels spectacular! And if I get my two kudos, well, okay, maybe it feels a little worse than I imagined, but it’s still not that bad. But imagine if I was expecting five and only got two—I think I would be crushed.
11. I will make this a separate point because I think it’s important—really, imagine how your email will look. There’s a thing we do with our phones, where we get hopeful someone has messaged us, or we get hopeful that there will be something new for us, that someone will have paid attention to us in some way. Then we look at our phone and there’s nothing for us. It’s crushing. The chemicals in your body cause your whole being to plummet. And then the next time you look at your phone they cause you to anticipate, to get tense and stress again, and then when your phone has nothing for you, you’re that much more depleted.
You are putting your body through a roller coaster. Many people’s solution is not to look at their phone, but I don’t actually think this is a great idea for many people, because they will fail. They will fail, be crushed by whatever attention they didn’t receive on their phone, AND they will feel bad that they failed to stay away from their phone.
Meanwhile, if you say to yourself: what am I hoping to see when I look at my phone? What can I realistically expect from my phone at this moment? How will I feel when I see it? What will I do after that? Then you can manage these expectations much more easily.
12. Relatedly, I would suggest you have an activity planned that will start the moment after you post your fic—an activity that takes you away from your computer and, if possible, your phone for four to eight hours. Going to the cinema is a great idea for a few of those hours, because most people are really able to keep their phone off for the duration. I like to go out with friends after I post a fic, but I am not someone who really looks at her phone during social engagements.
I remember once I posted a fic and went directly to an anti-Dobbs protest; the friend who had informed me about the protest and met me there was a fandom friend. She said, “Did you really just post porn and then come to a demonstration about the right of a woman to choose?”
I said yes. This is the best way to do it. So here is my final advice: post on AO3 and then allow people with a uterus the right to choose.
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mistake-responsibility · 2 days ago
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The problem with hiding on the ship is that if you're hiding from someone who's gotten used to exploring a ship, they're going to explore it to find you. And probably succeed in that.
Ivy's traipsing through the halls, armed and dangerous, of course, of course, she's going to find him eventually. It's only a matter of time.
"There you are, puppy."
The first thing that's most obvious about her is the blatant thing she's lied about. She's not nearly as tall as she said she was, far from it, closer to a full foot shorter than him, instead of barely half. But that's not such a relief, considering the second most obvious thing.
She very much has a gun. A pistol, not that she knows or cares about the kind.
And the most violently manic look in her eyes. The pockets of her stolen uniform and her little belt pouches are bulging with weapons and tools, there's certainly a boxcutter in her other hand which she's subtly keeping next to her thigh, and she's pointing a pistol directly at Jimmy's head.
"You have no idea what I had to go through to get here. But that doesn't matter, really. What matters is actually that I've got you right where I want you, isn't that right, puppy?"
- @takeout-taradiddle
[ IMPULSE: 15 - Pass. ] Running would be a bad idea, and give the idea he’s scared. Oh, sure, he absolutely is, but that doesn’t need to be known. Instead, he shifts how he’s standing to look at her proper.
She said she wasn’t going to kill him, after all. If she fired, she’d have to aim somewhere else.
“ Are you under the impression I’m going to listen to you? You’re gravely mistaken, you know.”
He remembers having a taser. He reaches for his pocket to find it isn’t there. He doesn’t remember how he lost it (how it was taken from him, how it clattered to the floor). It’s just not there anymore. Damn it.
Unarmed. Whatever. He can make do. He’s still got his height and bit of athleticism.
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palytv · 2 days ago
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WELT + CatHybrid!Reader (SMUT)
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Tw : +18, fem!reader, reader is not trailblazer, explicit, power imbalance, dom!welt, sub!reader, age gap? (welt is very old but reader is of age), animal features (reader), fingering (fem! receiving), daryphilia kinda?, praise kink, creampie (wrap it before you tap it folks), breeding talk, established relationship, jealousy (male), marking, mating press, not proofread (hope i'm not missing anything)
5k words
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Life as a Nameless wasn't always easy.
Who would have guessed that this planet prohibits your species? That's discriminatory! Truly!
This planet had the best, the biggest, the most impressive amusement park there is! The downside… It seems like their population appears to have descended from a very deeply rooted race of fishes… Hence why any kind of felines or predators are prohibited from visiting.
But no way you'd miss out on that opportunity, it'd be cruel to keep you away from this planet! No way!
You stubbornly stepped in.
Welt was skeptical. For starters, he was the one who had to manage your boundless energy, and the mood swings that came along. The thought of bringing you along felt wrong. He knew best, and at that moment he highly doubted you'd be suitable for the trip.
When you became part of the Nameless, he naturally assumed the role of caretaker, taking responsibility for the slip-ups and mistakes you made along the way. This role proved itself to be so challenging that no one actually fought for it…
The man was naturally poised, calm, and perhaps the only one capable of managing you and your frequent outbursts. You were almost forbidden to leave his side.
As much as everyone appreciated you, they were well aware that your curiosity brought a lot of baggage and a fair share of risks… Just stay glued to Welt and you'll be able to go on adventures! They said.
But at this moment, you are actively defending your case against a very much tired Welt and a concerned Himeko.
"I swear I'll behave!" The talk had been ongoing for hours now, putting you on edge and making your tone sound whinier than you intended.
"Wether you behave or not is not the issue. We're supposed to remain unnoticed for the entire trip, your ears and tail will alert them." The fact that Welt was so adamant about this only intensified your emotions, and a swell of sadness formed itself in your now tight throat.
"I'm telling you, I can hide them - Look!" Welt noticed that you were becoming upset and he'd be lying if he said that it didn't break his heart. His gaze softened at the sight of you, scrambling around to painfully tuck the length of your tail around your waist.
You winced at the sting but continued, to make your point, ears now bent down to blend in with the locks of your hair.
"See!" You proudly stated, puffing out your chest and searching for their gaze, hoping for any sign that might give you the green light.
A fourth voice emerged. "We could use a hat and secure her tail with a rubber band." The voice of Dan Heng made your heart leap in surprise; he had joined the conversation unbeknownst to everyone. He walked to your side and silently offered his support by standing next to you.
Welt frowned. The flicker of discontent crossing his face as he shifted, shoving his soft gaze away. "We appreciate your input, Dan Heng, but-" Dan Heng interrupted, "I wouldn't mind keeping an eye on her." It was unexpected, really. Until now, you had always felt that Dan Heng found your energy bothersome and exhausting. So you always made sure to maintain a safe distance. But now? Perhaps he liked you after all?
Your eyes prickled at the unexpected defense, finally having an ally after enduring two agonizing hours of fighting alone. Relief washed over your tense body.
But that wasn't the case for Welt, and he felt compelled to express his displeasure. His arms went up, crossing them above his chest and regarded the two youngsters like some kind of disapproving father figure. "You'd do that." He spat more harshly than he intended, his tone laced with a hint of sarcasm that everyone noticed except you.
Himeko sensed that the situation was worsening.
She had graciously backed Welt up for this occasion, knowing that he often struggled to refuse your whims, especially when you were determined to pursue something. However, she never anticipated that it would lead to this, and she was already nearing her limits. Her long sigh captured everyone's attention, finally breaking the awkward standoff of glances.
"We can't really stop her from going." Her resolve had weakened as she casts a weary glance at Welt, a silent apology. "So it's settled. Thank you, Dan Heng, for stepping up. As for you, troublesome kitty, I'd love for you to stay by his side throughout the journey." Your triumphant yell of victory made everyone wince, except Welt who just looked utterly appalled by this outcome.
"And now, I'll draw myself a bath. Forget I exist unless you're in danger or something." She breathed out, but not without a hint of amusement in her voice as she promptly left the premises. The conversation had taken a toll on her, especially after witnessing your desperation and misery for so long. It was nice to see you smile again.
"Thank you! And thank you - thank you Dan Heng! I'll be good, I'll behave, and stay put the whoooole trip!" Your face beamed with a bright grin as you hugged the latters arm, squeezing it just to show how much it meant to you. He merely offered a subtle smile, allowing you to enjoy your moment of joy in silence.
"So it's settled." The sharpness of Welt's voice caught your attention as he repeated Himeko's words, and this time you noticed the acute tone. You opened your mouth to speak but he didn't allow you, walking away from the conversation.
Dan Heng noticed how your ears flattened, resembling a poor kicked puppy.
"Let's find a hat that fits you."
-
Of course, Himeko wasn't going to have her peaceful evening. What did she expect?
She had just started to dry her hair when the door emitted that dreadful sound; knocking. Only one person would be petty enough to voice their thoughts, so she simply unlocked the door and returned to her nightly routine.
"Thank you for having me," Welt said as he stepped inside, ensuring he closed the door behind him. He still maintained his usual politeness, though she couldn't help but notice the way his jaw clenched.
"I thought we both knew the issue wasn't about whether she has supervision or not." here it comes. She swallowed her sigh, fully aware that it was most definitely her fault this time. "She just looked so disappointed… and Dan Heng offered to take charge her; how was I supposed to say no? Besides, won't it be nice for once not to worry about what she might do?" It was a feeble attempt to divert attention away from the real issue. Really.
"What I worry about shouldn't be anyone's concern but mine. Plus, I don't recall ever complaining about taking on that role." His tone was unforgiving, punctuating his words with a disapproving wave of his hand. "You didn't. But-"
"No. What you said earlier was unnecessary, that's everything I intended to say. I apologize for the late inconvenience. Enjoy your rest." It was evident that he had no intention of hearing Himeko's explanation. He simply wanted to make his point, and that was the end of it. With that, he left Himeko's bedroom.
She crossed one leg over the other, resting her chin on the palm of her hand as she focused her gaze on the now-closed door. "Isn't he too old for this?"
-
Welt was being petty, not even acknowledging the adorable hat you had spent so much time selecting, carefully chosen just for him.
Why did he act so distant? So… cold? Surely, it was your fault. You had gone against his better judgment, stubbornly following your own little whims. Were you truly that ungrateful after everything he had done for you?
To the nights when he fulfilled the needs of your body? When he used his hands to evoke such beautiful tears from you…?
You stepped off the train with a heavy heart, watching the source of your anguish leaving in company of the Trailblazer and March. You felt torn as the three of them investigated the planet while you went "scouting" the very important amusement park with Dan Heng.
Very important.
But each time you entered an attraction, your mind wandred, your expression fell with sorrow. You even won the claw game for the first time! But no… now you were being rude to Dan Heng! You couldn't do anything right!
Welt was right. Welt was always right.
Now you felt silly. And guilty.
Suddenly, an ice cream cone was thrust against your face, the cold treat making contact with your downturned lips. Dan Heng redirected your attention back to him, gaze searching for yours with concern. "Here. Take it," he urged, nudging it closer.
"M'thank you! Didn't you take one for yourself?" He shrugged.
"Not much of a sweet tooth." This time it was your turn to shrug, returning your attention to the icy treat.
It did help brighten your mood - a win for Dan Heng. What you didn't know was that he always rooted for you, at least in the shadows. He found your energy endearing in a way, especially when you beamed like this.
You actually hadspent a wonderful time in his company! You even managed to forget the little weep from this morning.
But the day took a toll on your body; your ears strained under the small hat you wore, and your tail? Numb. You even had to hide in the restroom a few times to allow your blood to flow- a small price to pay for amusement.
-
You'd think.
You sheepishly hoped that returning home and finally releasing them would bring relief, but that wasn't the case- far from it. Hours spent in that awkward position made it so incredibly difficult to relax them, it hurt so much to pull your tail back into place.
But your ears might've been the worst; you actually had to keep them in the same position because of how painful it was to move them. You huffed in front of the mirror, watching and definitely feeling them tremble.
So, you brought yourself where you always found your solace, the only place you could think of whenever something happened. But you stopped, doubt plaguing your thoughts like a disease. Maybe he didn't want to see you… Thus you stood right in front of his door, your eyes on your shoes as you pondered wether to knock or leave. He looked definitively bitter this morning…
Weeping in front of his door wouldn't help; you needed to apologize first and make amends. "Welt?… You… You're sleeping? Maybe?…" You whispered through the door, anxiety gnawing at your stomach as you waited for some kind of response.
"Enter." Oh.
So you did, but not before taking a long, deep breath.
His room was nearly engulfed in darkness, save for the small lamp on the nightstand, its dim light revealing his presence. Welt sat on an armchair positioned not far from the bed, a book in hand and his temple resting on his fist. The glance he cast your way was fleeting, as if it was mere politeness that compelled him to look up.
"What is it?" Oh, right. You hadn't relized hat you were simply standing in front of his door, silent for a few seconds. However, you noted the sharpness of his words and the indifference he displayed.
"I-It hurts… 'hurts a lot," you whined out. Of course, you whined; how could you not? Your ears throbbed, your tail ached, your stomach churned and your heart felt heavy. Nothing was going well! You knew that Welt could comfort you- he always did…
But maybe this time he wouldn't…
Welt snapped his book shut and set it aside on the nightstand as he pulled himself up. "Where? Tell me." Finally. Finally you detected a hint of warmth in his words, and your eyes watered from the overwhelming day you had.
"My ears…" you croaked out, eyes cast down in shame. He had noticed how your ears were strained at the top of your head, forced down in such an unnatural position. A long sigh escaped his lips at the sight of your poor condition. Why hadn't you listened to him?
He sat down on the edge of the bed, parting his thighs to show a spot you were all too familiar with. His hand brushed against yours, gently pulling closer to the bed's frame. "Sit."
And you thanked all the Aeons you knew of, hurrying yourself between his legs. Welt wasted no time cradling your oh so fragile body against his chest, guiding your limbs to his heart's content. You most certainly allowed him to do so.
He slid his right arm under your knees, lifting your body to drape your legs over his thigh and position you sideways against him. You nestled your cheeks right under his collarbone, pressing your body against his to absorb his warmth.
This angle provided him with a better view of your ears while a low hum reverberated, displeased. But he could feel your body shrink in on itself, anyone could see how miserable you looked at first glance. He'd be a monster to lecture you…
So he gently pressed his lips against your flattened ear, closing his eyes as he did so. The contact made you jolt in his grasp, a sad hiccup that broke his heart. Welt's arm was splayed across your back, his hand resting on your hip while the other cradled the side of your face. Just like the perfect caretaker he is, the man began to pepper your furry ears with soft kisses.
You exhaled, finally feeling your body relax under his care. It was everything you wanted and needed- immersed in the scent of his cologne, cradled against his chest, and pampered.
"I heard you behaved today. Is that true? You didn't throw any fits… Kept your poor ears hidden…" The last sentence carried a hint of resentment, but it was meant only for him to hear. The hand that cradled your face slowly moved up, fingers ever so gently massaging the base of your ears to alleviate the ache.
"Mhm" The only reponse you offered was a soft hum of approval, as you didn't trust yourself to speak aloud. Because, oh my, did you felt as if you were on cloud nine; the sound of his pecks sent a much-needed jolt of adrenaline across your body.
And Welt? He was just so proud of you that he almost forgot yesterday's tantrum. Almost. But you would later find out he didn't.
Right now, he wanted to take care of his beautiful cat. His oh-so-pretty kitty… That hat you wore didn't make you any grace, did you think he'd be happy to see your little ears all bent under this thing?
And your tail… what were you thinking?
He took a long, deep breath against your furry ears- a sigh you might say. You felt the comfort of his hand leaving its previous position, causing you o whine at the loss. But then, he brought it down to the very base of your tail. Unfortunately, it was still sadly locked around your waist; he couldn't have that.
This time, it did hurt. He started by pressing his palm against the upper base, moving in a circular motion as to relax the muscles. A sharp whine escaped your lips, which he quickly silenced with a shush.
"You can handle it. It won't hurt for long, I promise. You can be good for me, right?" he cooed in a soft whisper, careful not to hurt your ears. However, at your lack of response, he emphasized his words with a low hum. You immediatly understood, having been taught so well by him. So, you gave the best nod you could manage, which was merely a shift.
He understood, but that was not what he wanted. "Words." he warned, though his tone wasn't unkind.
"Yes…" You huffed.
Satisfied, he returned to the top of your head, kissing your sore ears and burying his nose in the softness of your hair. The distraction helped you forget the painful massage he was giving, his fingers dug into each side of your tail.
Soon enough, his administration turned successful as you finally rewarded him with the whines he desperately needed to hear. Your entire body shivered, and your hands sought refuge between your thighs to warm them up- something he noticed.
"Does it feels better now?" He shifted down to hover above your face, searching or your eyes for to gauge your reaction. But, they were closed; he could feel you beginning to doze off. "Way better, thank you…" You would've slept in his arms if it weren't for his hand traveling up to gently cup the delicate side of your neck.
His thumb gently nudged the edge of your jaw, lifting it upwards.
It was then that you felt the soft press of his lips against your own- a tender peck. He pulled away for a fleeting moment, angling his head to return for more. The sound of your kisses echoed in the dimly lit room, and your soft moan allowed him to slide the tip of his tongue in.
So, of course, you welcomed him in, meeting the wet appendage with an open-mouthed kiss, heavy with emotion. Unable to focus on anything else, you let your body relax in his arms, melting like a sad ice cream in the middle of summer. But he grounded you; he Always did, pressing you further against his chest to keep this pretty mouth of yours on him.
He could hear your whines grow more intense as he finally understood what you were doing with your hips. His eyes narrowed, focused on the sight of your hips jolting as you humped your own hands with indecency.
Poor thing… You felt the corners of his lips lift, until you could feel it no longer. Welt had pulled away to get a good look at your state, face flushed, eyes hazy with dire need. Your ragged breaths were particularly enticing, a true fest for the eyes.
Just for him, though.
Not Dan Heng.
No one else.
He was truly a petty man.
He grazed the back of his fingers down your arms, savoring the way your skin shivered under his touch. But, Welt paused at the apex of your wrists, making a silent request. You complied, driven by a desperate need. Slipping your hands out from the confines of your thighs.
The palm of his hand supported your back as he slid his other arm under your legs, motioning for you to sit in front of him. The width of his chest enveloped you like a soft blanket, almost missing the way his hands gripped the fat of your thighs.
His thumb kneaded your inner thigh and slowly glided down to your knees. Your sad whine made him chuckle, but he quickly showed you what he meant by hiking up your skirt at the sides. His fingers swiftly found the straps of your panties, pulling the elastic down along your thighs.
Such a pretty sound escaped your lips, a choked gasp, reminiscent of a whisper. Yet, it was a sound he undoubtedly heard. After sliding the garnment past your feet, he moved to grasp the back of your knees. You watched in awe as he lifted your legs, parting them on either side of his lap.
He felt your ears twitch against his chin, distressed by the cold wind blowing against your burning core.
Finally.
The tips of his fingers met the poor state of your slit, covered with a thick layer of slick. You exhaled deeply, leaning against his chest with anguish.
He traced up and down, burying his fingers in the fat of your bottom lips so painfully slowly. Slick used to coat the outside of your cunt, spreading it evenly all over before he reached up to tease that throbbing clit.
You felt him slide his other hand down, warming his digits with that expensive arousal he craved to taste. But not once did he stop circling your bud, not even when he had carefully slid one finger in that tight hole of yours.
The pace was agonizingly slow. His middle finger was knuckles deep inside, but it was almost as if he just wanted to dip it- in and out.
Oh, he knew it wasn't enough. Of course he did. That poor pussy of yours had no secrets for him.
But you didn't have the guts to beg for more, not after today's events. You'd obediently wait for him to act…
"Do you want my fingers to work you open?… Or do you want it to stretch?" His voice was as low as a purr, whispering to your sensitive ears. It was almost funny how he assumed you wouldn't painfully stretch anyway. How could you not? Especially when you could feel the outline of his length angrily burying itself in the fat of your thigh.
But as the sweetest gentleman he was, he asked, knowing that sometimes you liked to feel that tinge of pain- or sometimes not. It was always up to you, always about you first.
"Stretch…" But this time, his kitty wanted it to sting. Did you think you deserved some kind of punishment for going against his word? How precious.
He hummed in aknowledgement, slipping his finger out to circle that tender entrance of yours. "How? On your back? Face down? In my arms maybe? Tell me." You couldn't help but feel like he purposely made you long for it, the very tip of his finger tapped impatiently on your fluttering hole.
"A very mean mating press…" You mumbled with a pout, thighs flexing at each agonizing touch. He merely chuckled, the low rumble resonating within your head. "A very mean mating press you say?" He repeated with amusement, clearly taken aback by that filthy choice of words. You only nodded, watching his hand throw two curt slaps against your cunt.
You yelped when his hands went under your armpits, lifting you up from his lap to place you down on the bed. Your body was burning with need. You tried to reach up around his neck to bring him closer. He didn't oblige, but he did grab your wrists to kiss the palm of each hands.
Patience.
He tucked one of his pillow under your lowerwaist, guiding your hips up in a more comfortable position. The next part was your hair that he carefully untucked from your back, sliding it to your side with great care. Oh how you loved when he'd treat you like a princess, making sure to meet your every needs.
He unzipped himself with one hand, face dipping down in the crook of your neck to mouth at your pulse. His other hand switfly unbuttoned your blouse, popping one after the other until he was met with your cute bra. He littered your burning skin with kisses, crashing marks after marks.
He worked you out of those layers, allowing your supple breasts to pool freely out of its cage. You caught his gaze stopping on them for a fleeting second, right before he dipped down to place two tender kiss on each one.
Finally. Finally you felt the outline of his length bury itself inbetween your pussy lips, coating his underside with your arousal. But that's all he did, sliding it up and down, occasionnaly slapping it against your clit. You huffed out, a croaked moan testifying of your growing frustration.
"No condoms?" He asked.
Oh.
Now you knew he was messing with you! Not once did he not go raw Inside that precious cunt. Ever since he took that sweet virginity of yours. You cried to have your first without this layer that separated you both…
You puffed. A very frustrated frown appeared on your face at how he feigned innocence.
"Oh, but sweetheart… isn't it Dangerous? I'm not sure I'll be able to pull out once I'm inside…" the corner of his lips rose up in delight upon seeing you pout. "'Don't want you to pull out!" you cried out. You knew you were being toyed with, but it was the only way to get what you so much needed, by begging.
"Then… what should we do if it takes…? Tell me…" his tone grew heavier as he motionned your legs on his shoulders. "You did ask a mating press afterall…" he added in faux-concern. Welt was playing with you, and you knew he did. But you were too desperate to call him out, especially not when that very thought crossed your mind more than once.
The thrill of ending up with a swollen belly was such a dangerous thought. Oh, but it sounded so nice right now.
You couldn't form a coherent thought, mind in a haze, words caught up in your throat. So you just sobbed your heart out, it began with short sniffles until fat tears fell down your flushed cheeks.
Maybe be went too far… So he shushed your cries, bringing his face down to kiss those pretty tears of yours. "Here… see? It's going in, look." He hushered you and as promised you felt the very fat of his tip probe at your throbbing entrance. His hand caught your jaw, guiding it downwards to make you look at how his length worked its way inside.
You huffed, choking a moan out of your trembling lips as you finally felt his thickness. Even with that heavy amount of slick, his cock still felt impossible to take, bruising your walls. He merely had a few inches inside but his hips began a slow pace. He pushed a little bit more inside each time he pulled back, just to make sure it wasn't too much at once.
"Look at how well you're taking it… Just a few more inches, can you do that for me?" He gently asked- since he could feel that you were beginning to drift away. You felt the tip of his nose nudge at your wet cheek, seeking a response. But when he felt your soft hands around his neck, he exhaled.
Truth to be told, he was also reaching his limits. So he buried the remaining inches in one powerful thrust, finally fully pressing his body down. Your tail had naturally curled itself around his thigh, urging him further.
He opened the ceremony with a bruising pace, pulling out ever so gently just to harshly slam back down. It caught the wind in your lungs, brain turning into a pudgy state. Your eyes were glued together, so focused on the sensation of finally being full.
But Welt was having none of that. "Eyes." He warned.
It took you a few seconds to register. It forced Welt to bury himself to the hilt and painfully stop.
It brought your attention back on him instantly, watery eyes fluttering open to meet his heated gaze. The strands of his hair trickled down the sides of your face, eyebrows frowned as he carefully watched you oblige.
"Better. So pretty." The praise went straight to your head. But you still struggled to keep your eyes open, feeling them flutter at each thrust.
"'I'll go a little faster now, alright?" You hastly nodded, but didn't expect the instant shift of pace. Welt had pressed himself further down to get that perfect angle, allowing him to directly plow back without leaving an inch.
Now it was getting harder and harder to comply with his command. But he did take pity on you, smashing his lips against yours in a bruising kiss. That allowed you to finally roll your eyes to the back of your head. Finally focusing on how the tip of his cock kept kissing the spongy wall of your cervix. He reached way too far but you loved every second of it.
You couldn't even voice out your orgasm, in fact, you hadn't even realize it was coming until it arrived. Your whole body tensed up Under his unforgiving pounding, your trembling fingers gripped his shoulders for dear life. And you swore you almost came again upon hearing the low groan he emitted- as he felt your tender and battered pussy clench down like a vice.
The feeling was addictive, Fucking you through your orgasm was maybe one of the best thing there was on earth. Truly. How your body struggled to adapt, spasming at each thrusts, the way your lips babbled sweet Nothings, mixed with your cries. And the best of all, how you so beautifully creamed around his girth.
It did take him a few minutes to finally accept his own climax, but at this point you were long gone- mentally broken by the overstimulation.
Balls deep.
He wouldn't have it any other way. It allowed his thick load to finally claim its spot in your womb- pushing it further and further Inside. The growl he let out against your neck was music to your ears, he'd take a few testing thrusts, a twisted way of waking you up from your daze.
"How're you feeling angel?" He rasped out, pushing himself up to analyze your state.
And what a poor state you were in.
You didn't think it was over, did you?
-
"That's unlike her to miss breakfast… Who saw her the last?" March pointed out inbetween mouthfuls of pancakes, waving the sugary treat in the air as to catch everyone's attention.
Welt could only take a very, very long glance at today's journal news.
"Oh I Wonder… Welt?" But of course Himeko wouldn't let him dodge that one. He froze upon being called out, leaning his journal down and mimicing deep thoughts.
"Yesterday's trip must've tired her out, she's most probably resting back in her bedroom." He gave out a curt smile, a lie that looked trustable enough for March to resume her eating. But not for Dan Heng. "Weird… I knocked on her door this Morning and it was unlocked, no signs of her inside."
He hadn't expected him to pry further, and clearly didn't expect him to seek you out so early in the morning either. Welt oriented his glare towards the table they all sat around, not trusting himself to look at Dan Heng very fondly right now.
Of course you weren't in your room, you were in his- safely tucked in the comfort of his bed.
"Surely in the bathroom." The fact that it was Welt who kept answering these questions made it all painfully obvious. Himeko Simply let out a sigh, picking up her own cup of coffee to finish.
"You're a petty man."
"I know."
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Pheeewww, my first one! I don't know why I had that in my mind... but oh well
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eowynstwin · 2 days ago
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I've come to the last thing I'd like to talk about, and unlike the rest it's something I've already made progress working through. I want to try keep this subject brief, because 1) it's taken a LOT out of me to get through all this and 2) even so, it's helped, and I'm ready to move on. I just don't want to leave anything important to me unaddressed.
So, I mentioned that when I returned to this blog, it felt like everyone had moved on from the Myka issue. I didn't see the same kind of support when I came back as I did when I left—and maybe it seems presumptive of me, but I had been expecting it. There was precedent, after all.
And I'll be honest—it took pretty much all the wind out of my sails. It kind of felt like it didn't matter if I was here or not—like, outside of the Myka issue, I hadn't actually made enough of an impression on anyone, with my own work or my support for others', for them to really care if I came back. Which, considering how many people were there for me when I left, I believed I had. That belief felt pretty misplaced after that. And to put it mildly, that did not feel good.
At the same time—and I've already talked about this in the past, so I don't want to retread old ground too much—I noticed a drop in engagement with the new work I posted. I understand now that that involved a lot of factors—my long absence, the change in my url, general fandom trends—but because it happened around the same time as my return, it compounded that feeling of my irrelevance.
So as I’ve been writing this whole time, and posting, I’ve lived with this undercurrent of god I hope this is good enough for them to care about me again. I felt like I had never actually been good enough for anyone to think of me outside of the Myka incident. I couldn't enjoy my own work without thinking none of this was ever good enough. I got to the point where I couldn't enjoy other people's work without thinking everyone likes them, but they don't like me.
Now, obviously this is unhealthy. It's also patently untrue, as demonstrated by the support I and my work have been given in the months following my return.
A part of me kind of cringes to discuss this at all, because it feels unfair to the people who've offered that support—I don't want anyone to feel like I haven't appreciated it, because I have. But I lay all this out to lead to the conclusion I've come to, which I want to share, because it feels like the gateway into finally leaving Myka, and all of these things I've been feeling, behind for good.
I've talked to friends since then, gotten context, and I've evaluated my tenure as a whole in this community in effort to understand.
The thing at the core of this issue is that my confidence was shaken. Both by the incident itself, and everything that followed it.
While it was happening, I was under a microscope, and found inadequate. I couldn't talk about it, because that would only make things worse for me. When I came back, I felt like I was still under the microscope, and I still couldn't talk about it—and in addition, it seemed like I had earn my place here again.
Feeling like that has made it really, really hard to enjoy being here. But I know that feeling isn't entirely rational. And if I don't want to feel that way anymore, I have to let myself say the things I need to say and make the things I want to make, and I have to let myself enjoy doing it.
I want to be here. Despite everything, I still belong here, even if I don't feel like I do. I've been so afraid to talk about Myka all this time, really, because I didn't think any of you wanted to hear about it. I thought it would drive you away.
But I've talked about it now. And you've all listened. So that means I'm allowed feel confident about everything else.
Thank you.
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