#it’s 5am rn

[cokowiii]

It counts as venting sooo

[improbable-outset]

Booty call from Kenji at 3am just to end up being tangled in his sheets hours later with his face between your legs

[halojalex]

hey guess what. im doing that thing again. where i start writing a new fic before i’ve finished the many others i have in progress

[cultofasparagus]

Ok, ok, but the way Simon misremembers this moment

and the way he says 'goodbye brain' right before this so it makes it seem like that was going to be his last thought

and and the way it's what gives him the final push he needs to finally summon golbetty

[napping-sapphic]

Women are so attractive actually i love women so much it’s actually insane

[buqbite]

My thoughts here mainly revolve around YSA as the mary sue/female lead type character:

She goes from being this perfect woman to. just being a woman. And my idea is that the weight gain isn't there to make her "unconventionally attractive," or whatever other dumb phrase you wanna use to avoid calling someone ugly, but to make her conventionally attractive, yet realistic.

Instead of looking like a skinny waifu character, she looks like a skinny human woman. Her hair swaying in the nonexistent wind isn't as perfect, her magic blush is missing and she has eyebags. She's still hot, just more human.

[hoglinz]

armor practice weeeee

[argentinagp]

lewis hamilton | p2, las vegas gp 2024

[stratos-ane]

braided hair keith my beloved

[getyinyusedtoit]

"speak normally"

[earth2rin]

LAST RESORT ᡣ𐭩

bakugo x fem!reader college au

2.1k words

warnings: mild cursing, slightly suggestive, alcohol use

friends not answering your calls? ubers not available? guess it’s time for your last resort.

“fuck” you slur as your screen reads that iida had not answered your phone. you called jirou, then momo, then izuku, todoroki, sero and kiri, but no answer.

you were drunk. absolutely hammered and the clock on your phone currently reads 2:37 in the morning. there were no ubers available and you were in desperate need of a ride home back to your apartment from the college frat party you and your friends decided to go to.

you originally had a DD, but ochako ended up leaving early, something about deku getting home earlier than expected from his trip in the states. you told her to go and see her man, and how she better fill you in on all the deets or else you were never going to cover for her whenever she and deku “mysteriously” disappear from functions.

so here you sat on the couch in some random fraternity house, pouting about how you had no idea of how you were gonna get home. the music was loud and your body was buzzing, all the loud conversations going on around you didn’t help brighten your mood. you were tired, and your feet hurt from the heels you were wearing. you wanted to go home. you contemplated just crashing on the couch and waking up super early to leave, but the skirt you were wearing would ride up every 5 minutes and you were sure if you slept on the couch someone would get a show when they would wake up in the morning. you also thought about walking home but for obvious reasons you decided against it, walking 7 miles in the middle of the night in a miniskirt was an absolute no!

then an idea popped into your head. you had absolutely no faith, but it was your last chance to get home before you started walking. you chewed on your lip, anxiety making you ponder if you really should go through with it, it wasn’t like you had any other choice!

biting the inside of your cheek, you wait as you hear the familiar sound of your phone ringing, hoping the call will go through. your nerves grew as the ringing had continued in your ears.

“hello?” a gruff voice answers on the other end of the line.

“bakugo! oh my god i’m surprised you answered!” you say excitedly, smile extending from ear to ear.

“the fuck are you calling me for? it’s 3 in the god damn morning” he mumbles, you bite on your lip from being chewed out at.

“listen, i’m reeeeally sorry, but i’m really drunk and i need a ride home.” you whine and the desperation in your voice makes you cringe but you really meant it.

“so fucking call some one else, don’t bother me!” he sounds angry and your eyes begin to well with tears.

“i did! but no one wants to answer me and i’m really tired and want to go home, but my feet hurt and i can’t walk home and i’m hungry and there’s no food here, and i really want to go home.” you babble as the tears start pouring and the people around you give you stares but you’re too drunk to care right now.

“alright alright i’ll come get you! jus’ quit your crying already” you manage to get out a broken and whiny ‘okay’ before he asks you to send your location hangs up

even though you know you’ll regret it in the morning, you take 3 more shots and wander out into the front yard. the grass is cool, dewy from the 3am air and the leaves in the trees sway from the light breeze. the moon is out, and you can’t help but stare, mesmerized by its beauty. you find yourself lying in the grass, staring at the sky, hoping the nauseous feeling and pounding headache would go away soon.

your eyes begin to flutter shut, but soon you hear a voice speak up.

“what are you doing on the ground?” you flutter your eyes open and there standing at your feet was bakugo katsuki.

“oh heyyy. ‘m jus a little tired” you smile.

he stares at you and sighs

“well c’mon, get your ass up and let’s get you home.” you shake your head and pout.

“don’t wanna. ‘m so comfy. i think i'll throw up if i stand.” your brows furrow as you adjust your head, turning it to your side.

he groans, dragging and his hand down his face.

“alright, c’mon, up and attem” he lifts you up, throwing you over his shoulder (making sure to cover your ass from anyone seeing your baby pink underwear) and you groan.

“oh god, you’re making me nauseous!” your cheeks bubble up, trying to hold back your barf as you see the ground move from underneath you.

rolling his eyes, he replies “oh buck up, we’re almost at my car.”

you stare for a little, speaking up to drunkenly say, “you have a nice ass” and he pinches your arm, making you squeal and giggle.

you feel him stop, and hear the sound of a car door opening. he gently puts you in the seat and squats down.

“what are you doin?” you hum, eyes closed.

“give me your foot” he mumbles.

you make a confused face to which he replies, “just give me your damn foot!” you comply, sticking out your foot and frowning for being scolded.

he gently unclasps your heels and sets them underneath your seat, repeating the motions for your other foot. he then sets your feet in the car and leans over you, buckling your seatbelt for you.

you catch a whiff of his cologne and you internally sigh, he smelt absolutely heavenly. it didn’t help that he was wearing a wifebeater and his biceps were bulging right in front of your eyes. you wanted to bite him. he was ethereal, a sight to behold, an angel in front of you. why couldn’t he like you?

closing the door, he makes his way to the driver seat and hops in, tying himself in.

“ ‘m cold” you whine, and he turns around to his backseat and grabs a blanket, placing it in your lap.

you unfold it and wrap yourself in it, secretly taking a whiff and hiding your smile in the blanket.

“thanks” you quietly say, he nods in acknowledgment.

the ride to your apartment is comfortable. the radio playing music quietly, leaving you both to your thoughts. you had known bakugo since high school. you had been close friends with deku, and you knew his infamous bully. you tried to help deku and even defended him, but all izuku would say was that it was okay and that you didn’t need to fight for him. so you let izuku handle it, next thing you know you’re all at the same college. your class had all been relatively close, almost everyone was friends. but for some reason bakugo could just not stand you. you tried to figure out why, but you never really had interactions with him so there was nothing that tipped the scale.

you decided to not let it bother you, which was hard because you unfortunately found him ridiculously attractive. you couldn’t help but think about what it would be like to be friends, but you never acted upon your thoughts, settling in the belief that ignorance is bliss.

“you hungry?” you turn your head and blink.

“no ‘m okay, thanks.” you turn your head back to the window and he chuckles.

“alright but you’ll regret it in the morning.”

your eyes widen and you snap your head back to him.

“wait! i am hungry!” he rolls his eyes and says ‘okay’, pulling into a taco bell.

you feel giddy as he hands you your burrito, immediately unwrapping and chowing down on the warm heaven sent food.

“thanks!” you say with a smile and a full mouth, to which he slightly grimaces and says that you owe him one, which you decide to ignore.

shortly after, you arrive at your apartment and he parks, getting out to open your door.

“i don’t wanna go im barefoot! that means i’ll have to walk across the dirty concrete!” you whine and he tries his best not to show his frustration, but the vein popping out on his forehead says otherwise.

“c’mon, i came all this way AND bought you taco bell and you can’t even walk to the door?” you pout and he groans, tossing you over his shoulder again.

he grabs your heels and your purse, beginning his tread up the stairs.

“wait a minute, how do ya know where i live, hmm?”

he rolls his eyes, which he knows you can’t see and responds, “you had a party for ochako remember?”

you gasp and giggle, “oh yeah! and then they left early so they could fu-“

“and we’re here!” he cuts you off, digging through your purse for your keys.

once in your apartment, he asks where your bedroom is, finding the room he sets you down on your bed and puts your heels by your closet. he leaves the room, heading to your kitchen. you frown due to the lack of his company, but he returns with a glass of water and a bottle of tylenol.

“here, take this for your feet and headache.” you grab the two pills he’d taken out the bottle and swallow them, chugging the water shortly after. the tension is thick as you both stare at each other.

you get up, walk to your dresser and look through your drawers, he stands awkwardly behind you trying hard not to stare at your ass as you bend over to look for pajamas. you began stripping and before you can get your tube top over your head he blurts out.

“where’s your bathroom?” you turn your head and blink at him.

“i have an en suite, it’s the door to your left,” he nods and quickly rushes inside the room.

after changing into your pajamas you make yourself comfortable in your sheets, waiting for bakugo to exit your bathroom. your eyes begin to shut until you hear the click of the door opening.

he had assumed you’d fallen asleep and began to exit your room.

“why don’t you like me?” you mutter. he freezes, he feels like a deer caught in headlights.

“what are you talking about?” he plays dumb but you don’t falter.

“why don’t you like me?” you repeat, this time more confidently.

he swallows thickly and turns to look at you, you sit up and look at him.

“i never said i didn’t like you.” he says as if it’s a matter of fact.

“well you sure as hell make it seem like i’m the last person on earth you’d rather be with.” you chuckle bitterly, the alcohol coursing through your veins giving you the courage to say what you’ve always wondered.

“it’s a shame really, i thought we could be good friends, i find you quite charming, dashing even. i wouldn’t have minded if things went further then just being friends as well.” you sigh falling back into your sheets, snuggling into your comforter.

“that makes two of us.” he mumbles and he thinks you didn’t hear it, but you remove your blankets and make your way towards him.

“well maybe when you give up the act of thinking i’m insufferable you could give me a call, yeah?”

he’s at a loss for words, you’re standing awfully too close to him, he can feel the heat radiating off of your body and it sends shivers down his spine. he swallows, examining your face and he licks his lips.

“you're drunk, you don’t know what you’re saying” he tries to rationalize, more to himself than you.

“oh i’m perfectly aware of what i’m saying” you send him a small coy smile and he feels butterflies as you stare into his eyes.

“if i call you sometime will you go to bed already?” he takes a small step closer and you smile at him.

“anything you’d like.”

“i’ll call you then.”

you nod like a school girl, and head back to your bed.

“night.” you say as he slips through your door.

“night.”

the next morning you woke up with a horrendous headache, making your way to the kitchen for some water. a bottle of vitamin c gummies, a free pizza coupon and the blanket you had last night folded up were sitting on your counter top. on the bottle of vitamin c there was a sticky note attached.

for the hangover. call you tonight?

-k.b.

[pillowspace]

human disguise au doodles made in whiteboard fox because ibispaint wasn't working

[sanjifucker42069]

Peaches

Sanji keeps finding you sneaking food. Just what are you hiding?

Note; girl, rats are cute, and Sanji’s association with rats melts my heart 🥺🥺🥺

Word count: 1416

The third time Sanji caught you sneaking food out of the larder is when he grew suspicious.

"Do I not feed you enough love?" He interrogated, You jumped, hands holding onto your small bag. It had to be past midnight. You turned to him looking mildly terrified, eyes scanning for an exit plan. Sanji quirked a perfect brow when you didn't respond. "Well?"

Nothing. You drew close the bag in your hands, peeking in one last time. You seemed so skittish tonight. What were you hiding? Sanji didn't have time to consider what before you shot upright, speaking a mile a minute.

"HAHAHA! I'm sorry Sanji, you got me! I was feeling extra peckish tonight HAHAHA!" You slapped at your leg as if he told you the world's funniest joke, before robotically moving to the door. "Well I've had my fill so I'll just be going back to bed. It won't happen again. Good night Sanji."

"Hold it." He ordered. You froze, a visible sweat on your brow. You let out a little whimper. He softened, and with a sigh, motioned to the table. With palpable dejection, you made your way to the table, ready to be scolded. "Love, you know I keep a thorough inventory of our food. Normally I'd think you were giving it to Luffy, but there's hardly any food going missing. So what's going on?"

You twiddled with your thumbs. "I was just a little hungry." You were still avoiding his gaze. Sanji wasn't convinced.

"Love, I'm not going to be mad."

"Yeah you are..." Your voice was soft, trailing off.  Sanji sighed, pulling out a smoke and hurriedly lighting it. He took a long drag to calm himself. Why would you ever think he'd be mad at you? He honestly felt a little heartbroken that you didn't trust him.

"Love-"

Squeak.

You flustered. Sanji narrowed his eyes, blowing out a plume of smoke.

"What was that?"

"My stomach?" You tried, clearly nervous. 

"Try again."

You sighed, bringing the bag up to rest on the table. He saw you fiddle with the drawstring. Upon hearing you hum, he stared, seeing you looking at him through lidded eyes. "Promise not to be mad?" 

Yeah yeah whatever to get you to stop breaking his heart with those puppy eyes, he thought. Instead he said, "I could never be, love."

You undid the drawstring. Opening the bag another squeak rang out, echoing in the silent kitchen. You cringed. For a few seconds nothing happened, and Sanji could feel himself growing antsy. Then, a small grey head popped up, whiskers twitching.

A rat!!?!?! 

"Her name is Peaches." You muttered. Sanji was shocked, staring at the little creature before him. 'Peaches' seemed to stare back at him, holding her dainty paws in front of her as she rose to two feet. Sanji noted the small yellow ribbon adorning her. And, was that a tiny bandage around her ankle?

"Huh." He mused, taking a drag. As he blew another plume of smoke, the rat squeaked. 

"I'm sorry Sanji. I knew you'd be mad if you found out we had rats, but I swear it's only Peaches, I found her on the ship last week. She had a bad ankle. I saw her crawl onto the ship from the docks. Normally I'd put her back but she was hurting and....I just couldn't leave her there to die."

Peaches moved closer to Sanji, staring at him. If Sanji fed into his delusions he could swear the rat was studying him.

"She's clean I promise!" You cringed at how loud you were. Moving to a quieter tone you looked at Peaches. "She had a bath. She's actually really chill."

"So she's why you're sneaking morsels?" 

You nodded. He sighed. Sanji weirdly felt his heart swell. You'd save a little rat on death's door? You were a pirate. Your gentleness always stood out to him, but the way you pet the little rat, cooing at it had him feel his heart race. You reached out and grabbed his hands. He stared at the gesture, cigarette hanging from his mouth limply. He dragged his eyes up to meet yours, startled at how determined you look. 

"I'm sorry. I'll stop sneaking food. But I won't get rid of Peaches." You shook his hands for emphasis. "I promise she won't come into the kitchen! Just...please don't tell anyone."

"You want her around? Even if I don't?" He asked. You met him with a fiery stare. 

"I'm sorry you feel that way. But yeah... You're dear to me, but this little creature deserves empathy too, and she's not hurting anyone." Peaches squeaked as if to back up your claim. 

Out of all the scenarios, you didn't expect Sanji to give you that soft smile and remove a hand. You watched with bated breath as he instead set his sights on Peaches, holding his hand out. 

Peaches sniffed his hand experimentally. Clearly she judged him to be safe, as she crawled into his hand. Your heart stopped at how soft Sanji looked. He spoke around the cigarette, staring down at the little rat.

"You're too sweet." His eyes flicked up to yours. "It doesn't worry me. So long as she isn't a nuisance in the kitchen, it really doesn't matter to me. It's sweet that you are so dedicated to her." Peaches crawled up Sanji's arm, settling on his shoulder. He gave a lopsided smile. Sanji removed the cigarette from his mouth. "She's cute. Y'know some of the first meals I ever made were for rats." 

You stared at him. "Really?"

He laughed, a faraway look in his eyes. "Yeah, they're cute, and they're not picky eaters...but let's not talk about that" He peeked towards Peaches. "So what's your favourite then, miss?" 

When Sanji looked back at you he was stunned at how wide your smile was, tears in your eyes. "She likes cake, it's not good for her. She does like apples though."

"Apples?" He laughed, disbelief clear in his tone. "Not Peaches?"

You blushed. Sanji felt his heart skip a beat at your blush. "Oh. There was a book I read as a kid, it had a rat named Peaches."

"Hmm, an apple cake then? I'll make you one when you're better Peaches to celebrate, okay?" He reached back over and grabbed your hand. You stared into his eyes, their soft warmth drawing you in. "Love, you're too nice, y'know? I don't know any other pirate who'd cry over a rat." You started to bluster but he shushed you. "It's not a bad thing. You're a good person."

Sanji went to take a drag from his cigarette when he felt tiny hands snatch it from his grasp. He gasped, offended. The two of you watched as the little rat skittered down Sanji's arm, cigarette bitten sideways.

"Peaches!" You scolded. Peaches pointedly avoided you, taking the cigarette back into both hands and stubbing it out. You laughed. "Oh Sanji, I'm so sorry. I guess she doesn't like smoke!"

Sanji joined in, laughing freely. "Guess not. Lucky she's cute. You too." You felt your blush darken. Sanji rose to his feet, giving you a wink. "How 'bout some tea? Maybe something for the little one too, yeah?"

You nodded, heart missing a beat at ‘little one’. Sanji rounded the table, pulling you into a side hug. You felt him place a featherlight kiss on your hair. As quick as it started it stopped, and the man headed to the kitchen. The domesticity was killing you. Peaches gave you a pointed look. You stuck your tongue out at her. 

"Sanji?" You asked quietly. The man hummed in response, placing the kettle on to boil. "Thank you. You're a good man."

Sanji smiled. "You're too kind, love."

You rose to join the man, quickly glueing yourself to his side. Sanji welcomed you in, arm wrapping around your shoulder. You snuggled into his side. The two of you basking in each other. You pulled his tie lightly coaxing him to your level. With a smile, you kissed his cheek gently. Sanii blushed lightly, stunned by your actions. Behind you the kettle whistled. The two of you sharing the same thought:

I could get used to this.

And so the three of you settled in for a late night, an odd storybook tea party: a gentle chef with a hidden past, a sensitive pirate with a heart of gold, and a little rat with a dislike of smoke. 

[marciliedonato]

laios you have to stop....your swag too different, your monster trivia too vast, your appetite too unhinged they'll kill you

[krussyarts]

Soft comfy girlfriend hours <3

[jay-wasstuff]

When I see ao3 loading 2 seconds too long: