#it’s *different* than being friends/in a friend group. bc of the exclusivity

[dreadeves]

qpr riz ppl are so funny. like riz does not want a relationship. his fear is that his friends will leave him because of partners, and he knows he doesn’t want a relationship like that. what do u think a qpr is btw.

[povlnfour]

ੈ✩‧₊˚ END UP HERE (LN4)

pairing: lando norris x f!reader

summary: a night out, a long walk home, and a pretty stranger happy to accompany you.

word count:

content warnings: mentions of alcohol/being tipsy, not proof read bc authors dyslexia won

“how did we end up talking in the first place?” — end up here, 5 seconds of summer

“do you even know who that is?” was the first thing your friend had said when she dragged you away from the group gathered around you by the bar.

of course you didn’t know the names and faces of the all people who scattered the club. all you knew was that this was one of the hottest places in monaco, and it’s guest list bolstered some giants of the motorsports world, a fact you were well aware of before agreeing to join your friends for the night. the group were ecstatic to have received a private invite to such an exclusive place from one of your more grander friends, the prospect of mingling with celebrities certainly playing on their minds — but you were more bothered about trying as many cocktails on the long menu that the place offered.

what you hadn’t expected was to be a point of attraction the moment you walked in. you knew you stood out in here, dressing nothing like the celebrities and trust fund babies you mixed with, but you certainly didn’t anticipate this drawing people towards you.

a man had approached you as you ordered a round for the small collection of friends you had come with, asking for your name. wanting to pay no mind to potential suitors, you told him trouble, before a sharp tug on your arm to drag you back towards the dance floor (drink now in hand) had you being reprimanded by your friend.

“am i meant to?” you hissed close to your best friend’s ear, straining to be heard over the baseline.

“you’re hopeless.” she had groaned, swiftly merging back in with the other girls in attendance. the group was growing with every hour, the alcohol running through people’s veins allowing for more socialising with strangers.

the music blared on, and you suddenly realised you weren’t half as drunk as you had intended to be. there was a nice buzz below your skin, one that danced through your fingertips and let you lower your guard on the dancefloor, but it was clear you’d remember everything in the morning (which wasn’t your initial intention).

with a swift glance around the room, you caught the eye of a handsome stranger. his face was recognisable, but not enough to put one of the aforementioned names to the sight. he was most likely another driver, as you recognised a few of his friends that milled to one side from the television.

the pretty stranger sent you a wink from where he lazed against a wall, your eyes grazing down his arms to the small glass of presumably whiskey he was nursing. you may have done something stupid, approached him on a whim, if it weren’t for your friend grabbing your arm once again and dragging you back into the action.

your bold decision had been interrupted, but it didn’t stop you from putting on a show. you were suddenly aware of the eyes following every move, ensuring that each roll of your hips was perfectly in his eyeline.

a few drinks more, and a lot of dancing later, people began to file out with each passing minute. one of the friends you had originally attended with left with a man she had met that night, another leaving to get food with a group you had met on the dancefloor, until it was just you and two others from the initial gang left. there were quite a few people fluttering around still, clearly determined to stay until doors closed.

you were tired by now, more than ready to call it a night despite the adrenaline still flowing through you. it was more that stage of just drunk enough that you could keep going if you wanted to, but sober enough to be somewhat responsible.

well, somewhat responsible.

when your remaining friends had expressed their interest in moving to a different club, you had politely declined the invite to join. it took some convincing that you’d be okay walking home to your apartment on your own, but once they were thoroughly convinced, they bid you adieu and left you alone.

alone, bar the presence of a certain handsome stranger still hovering in the guest area.

he was flanked by some of the same people from before, the crowd having dwindled enough that it no longer looked impenetrable. you recognised two of the men from the group who had approached you at the bar, confirming your suspicions the brunette from before was involved in racing one way or another. if you had half a sense, that information would have made you turn back and rethink your decision.

you were too far into your master plan now (also known as: not sober enough to make fully calculated decisions), and you knew what you wanted.

so with shoes noticeable tighter on your feet than they were at the beginning of the night, you took a heavy stride towards the collection of people chatting amongst themselves.

before you had even breached the small collection of chairs that held the strangers friends, they all seemed to notice your arrival and disperse as though commanded, leaving only you and your target. you barely had to look up to know his attention was all on you at the moment, and the alcohol in your system brought out an involuntary giggle at the thought of keeping him hanging all night.

“hello, trouble.” he spoke breezily, accent a lot more british than you were expecting.

“glad to know that got around.” you grinned, stopping just a foot ahead of him, distance close enough that he could touch if he really wanted to “wan’a keep calling me that, or should i put you out of your misery?”

the stranger was even more tanned up close, skin smooth and glowing under the club nights. his cheeks stretched with a smile under your attention, and you couldn’t help but mimic the action. “i could think of a few other things to call you, but your name would be nice”

“y/n.” you offered, taking the drink out of his hand and downing the remaining drop as a form of payment.

he laughed lowly, accepting the now empty glass back without batting an eyelid. “lando.”

“well, lando. it would appear all my friends are gone, and i have no one to walk me home,” you put on your best pout, jutting one hip out to the side to really emphasis just how distraught you were over the turn of events “care to do the honours?”

lando didn’t bother pretending to dwell it over, instead pushing himself off of the wall in one smooth action, and offering you an arm to lead. you took it gladly, expecting him to at least offer a goodbye to his friends. to your surprise, he did no such thing, leading you to an exit you certainly didn’t recognise.

when the fresh air hit you, your body relaxed in relief, entirely unaware just how stuffy the large yet crowded club had been for most of the night. the silence in the roads around your exit told you that lando had most likely guided you towards the back door of the club, a much easier escape into the main streets of monaco without the fear of the crowds. yet another sign he must be someone important. if you thought about it enough, you recognised his name from the world of motorsports, but you couldn’t entirely place him.

you didn’t care to ask for now, way too focused on tearing the heels off of your feet to feel the cold ground below. dangerous, yes, but well worth the relief you gained from the relief of release from such terrible choice in footwear.

glancing back at lando, you found him watching in amusement, leant against the doorframe with an eyebrow raised.

“i didn’t plan to be out this late.” you defended before he had even said anything.

lando raised his hands in a defence of his own “no judgement here. you were certainly putting in a shift on the dancefloor.”

humming, you began to step along the curb side that started your route home, passing lando a glance over your shoulder. “i knew you were watching.”

“yeah? putting on a show?” lando caught up with you despite your head start, probably made a lot easier by the fact you were practically pigeon stepping along the pavement, playing around with your own balancing skills. he was able to make up ground rather quickly.

the bars and casinos that littered the streets around you were still open and bustling, the bright lights of monaco all blurring together by now. you noticed a few cars go by, ones you didn’t recognise but could certainly admire, and it seemed your new friend was doing the same.

“yup!” you exclaimed, pointing down a street that held some of the now closed cafes “this way.”

lando turned easily, his hand coming up to rest on your waist as the stones dug into your heels and you stumbled as a result. you steadied yourself with a determined got it, but weren’t deterred at all — if you wanted to walk like this, you were going to walk like this!

… a thought that only lasted a few more seconds as you got fed up of such a slow pace. you took to skipping instead, hopping slightly in front of lando and turning to face him. you could see the amusement on his face mix with a certain fear, most likely over the fact you weren’t looking where you were going. you swung the hand up with your heels in it as you spoke again, narrowly missing hitting yourself in the face. “i like your shirt!”

lando laughed, quickening his pace to close the gap, and gently engulfing your hand in both of his. you were just about to ask him what he was doing when he cleverly dislodged your heels from your grip and took them himself. you would have pouted, poked fun at him not wanting to hold your hand, had he not slipped his spare one into yours, pulling both of your arms back to your side and leading you down the roadside facing the right way this time.

“boo,” you shoved at his shoulder ever so slightly “i thought you’d be more fun than this mr. lando.”

like anyone would with a petulant child, lando grinned and pushed you away, pulling you back suddenly via your fingers that were intertwined. the action made you squeal, gripping on to his shoulder when you returned to his side. you frowned at him, no real weight in the action, but it was worth it for the reaction when he poked the tip of your nose with a wide smile.

“you’re certainly living up to your nickname, trouble.” he added, and you began to swing your conjoined hands between your bodies, a pep in your step that he happily mimicked.

you giggled, pulling yourself back to briefly bury your face in the crook of his neck, cheeks heating up at the memory of what you had done tonight. “i’m so sorry to your friend who i entirely pied at the bar.”

lando laughed again, this time full bellied and hearty. you could feel him shaking his head in amusement, glancing up from where you hid your face to find him already smiling at you. “don’t be. george needs humbling.”

you stopped walking suddenly, face gone pale as you realised who that man had been, and why your friend was so shocked. lando got the memo, stopping in concern and prepared to help you out of any hypothetical crisis. “please do not tell me i told george russell my name was trouble, and ditched him at the bar.”

there was a beat of silence for just a second, lando keeping his composure, before he suddenly doubled over in violent shakes of laughter. you whined in instinct, pleading with him that it wasn’t that funny, but eventually humour won and you joined him in his joy.

“oh my god my friends are never going to let me live this down!” you shouted, leaning on his hunched over body for support.

you were getting a few looks from passersby, probably confused at to why two young people were practically keeled over in the middle of the busy streets in the early hours of the morning. it was funny, really, you hadn’t even noticed just how busy the streets around you actually were as others made their way home. you had been so transfixed on the man beside you for most of it.

“that’s— oh my god i’m not letting him live this down.” lando chuckled, slowly gaining his composure once more as he straightened up. you didn’t miss the way he had to wipe tears from his eyes, and you thought briefly you wouldn’t mind making him laugh like that again.

“well, now i’ve embarrassed myself thoroughly…” you began, lando grinning as he smoothly linked your hands back together and continued the route down the road, counting on you for guidance as to the direction of where you were staying.

you hummed to yourself as you kept walking, a tune that you had heard in passing at the club that night. lando recognised it almost instantly, head turning to look at you with a raised eyebrow “bon jovi?”

you smacked your lips together “is that who is by? i only know like three lyrics. something about living on a prayer.”

“that’s the one.” he smiled again, and you couldn’t help but notice the slight tooth gap that made his grin so adorable.

whilst this wasn’t the way you had initially seen your night going, you wouldn’t complain about being looked at like that. it was surprisingly easy to talk to the man, despite his obvious status and the fact that he was most likely famous. he hasn’t made you feel out of place, and it made you want the night to keep going.

so when you stopped in front of your hotel, building towering over you, there was a surprising ache in your chest that this could be it.

“well, this is me.”

lando looked just as disappointed as you, clearly hoping the jaunt would be longer. he didn’t fret, simply offering to walk you inside so that he could be sure you got in safe. you both knew he could simply watch you walk through the doors and be fine — what with the establishments security and all — but it was clear neither wanted the journey to end just yet.

you accepted, not one to turn down more time spent with a pretty person, and it was only when you called the elevator that you began to say your goodbyes.

“well, thank you for, uh, walking me home.” you shuffled, watching as the numbers decreased on the led screen to indicate the lift was getting closer.

“thank you for making my boring night a lot more interesting.” lando retaliated, hands slipped in the pockets of his jeans to feign nonchalance.

the telltale ding of the elevator doors opening made your heart drop. perhaps it was the remaining alcohol in your system despite how much you had sobered up by now, but a certain bravery was lingering.

“i’m gonna wonder where this boldness came from in the morning.” you started, barely registering the confused expression on lando’s face before you pulled him down and crashed your lips together.

lando reacted instantly, hands wrapping around your waist as your own tangled in the curls at the bottom of your neck. the heels he held in one hand collided with your body at the impact but you paid them no mind as he confidently walked you back into the elevator until your back was pressed against the large mirror. he wasted no time in pushing your bodies together, using his strength to tug your waist against his as he reluctantly broke the kiss, still remaining close enough to whisper against your skin, “what floor?”

“seven.” you responded, kissing him again within milliseconds of finishing. you could feel his hands fumbling around on the buttons, helplessly searching for your floor without turning his head before the doors closed and you were finally away from the prying eyes in reception. you had certainly given security a show.

that would be an embarrassment for the morning, for now you were significantly more focused on the way lando’s hands traced the curve of your ass. he gave a firm squeeze that had you gasping into his mouth, an action he took perfect advantage of.

any vertigo the elevator moving upwards may have brought you was grounded by the firm hold on your body and the tongue slipping into your mouth. he tasted vaguely of whiskey, dulled throughout the night, and you found yourself getting addicted to the feeling of his mouth of yours. you may have done something more scandalous right then and there had the lift not drawn to a stop and the doors beeped open.

the two of you turned, being met with a giant FLOOR 8 ahead of you — and that was when you lost in once more.

leaning on lando, you couldn’t help the uncontrollable giggles that slipped from your mouth as he selected the correct floor this time.

“in my defence, i was preoccupied.”

a/n: hello pals

i realise only now how similar this is to overdrive but,,, forgive me i wrote it in a meeting

me vs characters meeting lando on a night out and being obsessed immediately >>>

i also: heavily dislike this it just felt rushed so any comments appreciated as author is suffering. battling with my dyslexia every two seconds writing this

- gigi xx

taglist (found here): @idkiwantchocolatee @vellicora @alessioayla @bborra @crimeshowjunkie @paolexsstuff @champagnelovers101 @loxbbg @hobiismyhopeu @moonypixel @celestialpato @champagneproblems17 @ironmaiden1313

[desceros]

me: [looks at calendar, gets a wicked idea, looks into the camera] happy springtime, turtle fam! who's ready to celebrate the season?

...mating season, that is. hehe. [dodges the tomatoes]

so! i had the idea that it would be super fun to have a community-wide event where we all have a prompt and then everyone fills it in their own way.

...i then decided all the prompts i came up with were too good not to use, but also none of them were Good Enough to use exclusively, so i changed my mind and the prompt is now just MATING SEASON. with a few suggestions at the bottom of this post if you're looking for some.

since spring is coming upon us, i hereby invite everyone to join in the vernal festivities... which in turtle parlance, of course, means only one thing: write, draw, whatever your version of "mating season", then join me on march 1 to post it with the tag #TMNTSpringShellebration. we then shall browse the fine selection of our mutual artistic efforts, and basically just have a good time as a community.

here are the prompts i came up with as starters-slash-things-to-include if you're looking for a place to get started. feel free to use these at will, or use them to come up with something of your own:

“Please don’t make me explain this. It’s humiliating as is.”

Oops, Looks Like Mating Season Came A Week Early This Year

“…In all of my mating seasons, this has never happened before.”

“I told you not to come by! It’s mating season!”

Probably should have expected it to be different now that he’s not going through it alone.

Because of Shenanigans, you have to wait. Wait… Wait… ok now.

They’re not the right person for mating season… but they’re the one who’s here, so…

“Show me where it hurts."

so yeah! see you all on march 1 for the, uh, spring shellebration. party popper emoji

questions i imagine will be popping up and i hope will clear up here before my askbox swells beyond capacity under the cut to keep this post from being Way Too Long. also it's really not that serious it's just an excuse to write slash draw for everyone Please Don't Take This Thing Too Seriously It's Not That Serious:

"can i participate?" yes! it's literally just an invitation to do something. nothing fancier than that. no need to be following me or in my friend group or whatever.

"can i write (insert fic idea here)?" yep! so long as it's related to the idea of mating seasons, it flies. reader insert? hell yea. oc? hell yeah. solo turtle and his favorite pillow? go for it.

"can i draw (insert art idea here)?" yep! uh. i know tumblr has the cops watching for sin bin material, but you art people know how to deal with that. and if you don't, uh, ask the other art people. im just a feral cat in a trench coat

"how do i participate?" write/draw/collect songs for/whatever. then, on march 1, post it and tag it #TMNTSpringShellebration. also, for funsies, keep it hush hush what you're working on so we can all be super shocked when the day comes! except, y'know, that you're planning on joining in. totally do that.

"when do i post it?" march 1. whenever on that day. waves hands around in a vague gesture at time zones not mattering. seriously don't take this so seriously it's just me wanting to create cool shit with my friends with a little more structure to it

"does it have to be horny?" i mean. it's an event about mating season. so by definition it's going to be at least a little horny. but however you interpret it is cool. even if it's just. idk. leo sitting sweatily in a chair looking longingly at a glass of water bc he's thirstier than usual. be smart about things, people. i'm not your dad.

"which tmnt verse is this for?" whichever one you want it to be for!! rise! bayverse! 2007! your fan iteration! your friend's fan iteration! your mortal enemy's fan iteration! yes!

"will you be reblogging everything?" absolutely not, but this isn't an event About Me. i am incidental to the thing. it's about Us. coming together as a community. for horny turtles. puts my hands on your shoulders. do it for you. for your friends. for the community.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I didn't tell a girl about my gender/sex?

Mildly nsfw? No graphic descriptions of anything though.

I met this girl (trans, this is relevant you'll see in a sec) virtually in a group for a certain kink, and we hit it off pretty well. I had mentioned that I was trans, and so we connected on that because this kink is most commonly associated with gay dudes. She started making a few jokes about how she can really tell I'm a trans gal because of xyz. She seemed really excited to connect with me as another trans person and another girl.

I get clocked as a trans girl a lot, but my situation is kind of more complicated than that. I'm pretty feminine but I do have an 'outie' down below. I also have breasts. But on some technicality, I'm not a trans girl because of some complicated stuff where I was told I was a girl growing up. I don't want to get into a ton of detail about this bc it's weird to talk about. I do partially identify as a girl because of my non binary identity though.

We're going to a sex party soon where we plan on getting intimate with each other, and because of the above technicalities not all my parts work exactly how someone who was traditionally transfeminine would (I assume. I've been with only a few trans girls and none of them had the issues I do) so I'm sort of worried I'll have to explain my whole gender/sex situation and that that will disappoint her, or that I'm violating consent by not being one hundred percent transparent about not technically being a trans girl like she is.

WIBTA if I had sex with her without divulging my complicated gender/sex situation?

Misc INFO that I anticipate possibly coming up:

She's not exclusively into other trans girls or anything, she was just seemingly really excited to meet another trans girl

I don't identify as a trans girl because my girl-hood wasn't ever really trans-ed I guess. I was raised as a girl pretty much and very few people knew about information that would challenge that notion. Though I do have a lot of friends who are trans girls and we can relate in a number of ways, there are a number of differences as well

The sex would be not very focused on the down below and more heavily about the kink aspect

If things did end up in a way where she wouldn't want to be intimate with me, we both have other people we could have fun with at the party

What are these acronyms?

[fluffansmut-old]

Hope you're not over run with requests I really love your writing. I was hoping you could do something a little differently like eddie/reader are dating and his friend who's had a crush on him tries to break them up etc I'm always reading fics where reader is the best friend and eddie breaks up with the gf for her and tbh I want to see it the other way around where the gf is really sweet and nice and his friends tries to break them up but eddie choses the reader instead bc well he loves her.

A/N: Thank you so much! Requests like these makes my heart so warm, I really hope I interpreted the request like you imagined it. Also Chrissy had to take the role of the flirty friend here. Really hope you like it! 

Summary: Chrissy has an obvious crush on the man you´re dating, and maybe she´s better for him than you are...

Content warnings: Angst with a happy ending, Fluff, hurt/comfort.

Word count: 1670

Fic is also posted on Ao3  

Requests are open, so if you have any leave them. 

Masterlist 

I can never be her

Her giggle used to be cute in middle school but now you just found it infuriating…

Ever since that time she bought weed from Eddie for this homecoming party, Chrissy Cunningham started to make appearances around your friendship group when you least expected it.

Objectively you knew that she was kind, that she was gorgeous and undeniably charming.

The problem was that she was kind and charming towards the guy you were dating.

You and Eddie had not expressly said that you were exclusive and up until Chrissy started inviting herself you hadn’t felt the need to express what you and Eddie were. Everyone else just sorta knew, by the way his hand always seemed to find yours. How your chair more or less always was empty, because Eddie's lap was your preferred seat, with his hands around your waist, his chin resting on your shoulder.

You did your absolute best to not let Chrissy's presence bother you too much, even though her flirting with Eddie was absolutely obvious, and the fact that it never seemed like she ever thought that you were an obstacle in her plan.

The rest of your friends all seemed to really enjoy having Chrissy around, which first of all made you annoyed.

Didn’t they see how she threw herself at Eddie, an in-every-way-but-officially taken man? It also meant that you couldn’t vent the annoyance and self doubt that floated around in your mind with someone.

This only spurred on the annoyance within you further.

It all peaked this one wednesday when your math teacher was “disucussing consequences” with the entire class,when only about two people in the class had disrupted her lesson. This resulted in you being well over 12 minutes late for lunch.

Eddie and the rest of your friendship group were waiting for you outside your classroom when a certain cheerleader with her perfect ponytail walked up to them.

“Ooo! Hi guys, fancy seeing you here?” Chrissy said, putting her manicured hand on the leather clad bicep that belonged to Eddie Munson.

He turned his head towards her and smiled at her, a gesture that from his view, was mere courtesy, but to her meant way more.

“You look good today,” Chrissy said to him, removing a strand of hair from his face delicately.

“Huh?” Eddie said, to be honest he hadn’t really listened to her, he was busy wondering and worrying slightly about the fact that your class hadn’t been dismissed yet.

Chrissy blushed when he looked at her. She didn’t feel like repeating her statement, it felt like it lost meaning when you said it more than once, so instead she just said;

“Are we heading to lunch?”

Eddie explained that they were headed there, but that they just had to wait for you first.

“Oh,” Chrissy said, “I was just thinking that we better get there before someone snags our table”

The other bought her reasoning but Eddie looked longingly toward the door that you were behind.

“Go on you guys,” he said. “I’ll wait for her”

This didn’t sit well with Chrissy. Eddie was the main reason behind why she wanted to have lunch with you guys.

“Cmon Eddie, I’m sure she’ll come join us later, she knows the way to the cafeteria” Chrissy said, tugging slightly on Eddie’s underarm.

He felt torn, all of his friends were waiting for him, but at the same time, you were expecting him to be there waiting for you.

“We’ll, uh, yeah I guess.”

You were indeed expecting him to be outside the door when you were dismissed 20 minutes later than you should have.

Your heart dropped a little as you saw a seemingly empty corridor.

I guess they grew too hungry. You thought and took off towards the crowded cafeteria.

Your hadn’t even entered when you saw it.

Chrissy in her short cheer-skirt, looking so incredibly perfect, perched up on the armrest of Eddie’s chair, chatting away to this jock and his girlfriend, and you noticed she made Eddie engage in the conversation.

That’s when another level of self doubt surrounding all of this,hit you.

You started to imagine what it would mean for Eddie, purely socially, if he was dating Chrissy.

She had a lot of say, and people trusted her judgement. If she dated Eddie then maybe people would stop treating him like utter garbage.

But only she had the mandate to do such a thing, you were about as low on the social ladder as any other nerd in the school.

It stung too much behind your eyes and you realised that you couldn’t keep it together well enough to enter the cafeteria and pretend that everything was fine. So instead you bolted, running away until you found a good place to hide and be alone with your thoughts.

That was how you ended up curled up in the dungeon master throne, in the dark drama room, hugging your own knees with tears trickling down your cheeks. All whilst your brain was telling you over and over again how you weren’t enough for him.

In the cafeteria Eddie was stressing over the fact that you hadn’t shown up yet.

He tried to bide the time, hoping that you would eventually show, but when you were a no show after 30 minutes he decided that he had waited long enough.

“I’m gonna go find her” he mumbled and rose from the chair, inevitably bumping Chrissy off the armrest as he did.

“Where are you off to?” She asked, obviously she hadn’t heard him.

He didn’t reply, he was way too focused on finding you.

He walked past your classroom, and found it empty when he glanced through the window.

He realised that something must have happened and he began to search in the different places where you usually went when you needed to be alone.

You weren’t in the forest behind school.

You weren’t under the bleachers.

You weren’t by his truck.

He however noticed that some muffled noises were coming from the drama room when he walked past, and smacked himself mentally for not checking there first.

“Sweetheart?” He called out as he opened the door. “You in here?”

You buried your face in your knees, hoping that he wouldn’t hear your sniffles and come find you like this.

Luck however wasn't on your side and soon he was squatting in front of the throne, a heavy comforting hand on your knee.

“Baby, did something happen?” He asked, one hand softly caressing the back of your head, trying to coax your head out of your own lap, but with no success. “Do I need to hurt someone?”

”No” you whimpered softly. “You can go back to her Eddie, I’ll be okay”

“Go back to who?” He asked, still slightly confused as to what caused you so much distress.

“Chrissy” you said barely above a whisper, you didn’t actually want to say it, because it could mean that he’d actually leave, but at the same time, he asked.

Eddie was dumbfounded for a minute, what did Chrissy have to do with anything?

Then realisation hit him like a ton of bricks.

Of course he had noticed Chrissy’s attempts, he wasn’t completely oblivious.

They meant nothing to him so he hadn’t bothered himself to much about it, but now he felt guilty when he realised that they had meant something to you.

“Baby, can you look at me,” he asked, feeling his own heart breaking for you more and more by every passing second.

You glanced up, unable not to when he sounded so soft.

“Eddie, I understand, she has things I’ll never have, she’s another level of gorgeous, she is smart, everyone loves her,” more tears gathered in your eyes as you spoke the words that had tormented your mind all morning,”she has a say in things Eddie.She's your shot to climb the social ladder and I think you should take it.”

Eddie's insides broke with every word you spoke.

”Sweetheart,” was all he got out in response as he was trying to figure out how to express the love he had for you in a way that made you feel it in every fibre of your being.

“Eddie, you don’t have to explain anything, I have come to realise that I am not her.” You said, looking at the puzzled man in front of you.

“That’s true” he said and the little dying hope inside was about to be put out, until he continued.

“And that’s why I want to be with you.”

You looked up at him properly this time, as if you couldn’t really believe what he was saying.

“What?”

“Can I hold you?” Eddie asked, he couldn’t see you hurt anymore without doing anything about it.

“Please” you pleaded, sounding so extremely tired of trying and failing to hold it together.

You got off the throne and Eddie got in it, then he opened his arms for you, which you quickly dove into.

You were with your back against Eddie chest, your head nuzzled in between his shoulder and cheek, inhaling the faint scent of musky wood and tobacco. The scent of Eddie.

“I”m sorry I never realised the way all her attempts were affecting you.” Eddie said. “If I knew I could have made it more clear to Chrissy, about us, I mean, I just sorta thought she’d figure it out and back off.”

“I’m sorry for feeling like this, I really tried not to..” you said, fiddling slightly with the rings that Eddie had on his left hand. “I mean it’s not that we’re official so I dunno …”

“Never apologise for that sweetheart, It’s a totally valid feeling and reaction.” He said and pecked the top of your head. Then he paused for a second, thinking. “Why aren’t we officially?”

You thought about it for a second.

“You want to be?” You asked, looking up into his soft brown eyes.

“Since the day we met gorgeous”

[animarret]

Ranting about aroace exclusionists a bit: tl:dr my issue is not even the exclusion at this point, it's the lack of respect for ace and/or aro experiences and identity.

Saw one of those whole "should aces belong in queer spaces" debates making the rounds and it got me thinking about some exclu points like. Notably one I kept seeing was along the lines of not feeling safe in queer spaces with "straight" people and like. Okay. We have different ideas of queerness but I sympathize with the sentiment even if I disagree. But it got me thinking about how, if a space is mostly exclusionist towards aces and aros... why would we (aces and/or aros) be there anyway?

Like, I as a queer person (nonbinary and romantically ??? Something not straight) and also as an ace, I know I wouldn't be comfortable in a space like that, even if my more acceptably queer identities were fine there. Because in my experience exclus, kind or not, aren't understanding enough of ace experiences to where I could see that part of me being accepted enough to be open about it.

If any exclus read this for whatever reason: are you as normal about aces and aros as you think? Do you *actually listen* to us? Bc most I've encountered 1) don't have pretty basic definitions of identities on those spectrums correct (aromantic is never mentioned? Gray or demi labels? Hell half the time the definition of ace is wrong), and by extension downplay and dismiss ace and aro experiences. Not even just about like, people being bullied or the more oppressive experiences like that. But like, do you realize that being ace and/or aro can just affect everyday shit?? Shows and movies I like and why are affected by this. The way I practice my religion is affected by my aceness. It is, in fact, an important part of me that is reflected in everything I do. And AVEN is a website, guys. Cmon.

My point is, why would I waste time in a space where the people (no matter how many times you say "aces are valid!!! Just not lgbt") consistently show a complete lack of care or willingness to actually learn about or understand mine and other's experiences? Why would I feel comfortable or safe, even, being in a group that not only doesn't understand asexuality, but isn't willing to try (as friends, comrades, community, etc) to understand me, as an asexual person?

I'm not invading exclu lgbt spaces because I have better friends and allies than that. I have better places to be.

And if you're exclusionist and me asking/saying these things bothers you, maybe make a better effort to be allies to aces and aros. Because for all your talk about us and your valid posts I don't see you making an effort for us. Do better!! Prove me wrong!! Make me eat my angry words!! Want us out? Support ace and aro spaces then! Get our fucking words right! Listen to us!

[ferrocyan]

okay so. tart and estinien. at first their relationship was very normal, in hvw she agreed w estinien's pov on the dragonsong war but decided to put alphinaud at first priority, so they still got along well even w different goals. then in stb when tart's mental state spiraled after zenos' death, it was estinien (and aymeric) that snapped her out of it by rescuing her from elidizenos. so all in all they were friends even if they didn't interact much, and tart was very grateful to estinien for saving her.

now. keep in mind that i watched edw before the end of shb. so i saw that early edw there are things that make the wol as a role less exclusive, right. id heard of the tempering cure, then vrtra gave his scales to protect people from tempering entirely. so the way the wol's role has been defined as the only one who can withstand tempering, that's gone now. okay. so then i got to finish shb, then 5.4 onwards, when estinien started to join the scions. despite them only sharing a couple scenes i think estinien and krile have chemistry, alphinaud clearly adores estinien too, and g'raha idolizes him. right then an evil thought formed in my mind.

i wonder how tart would react to this? tart who defines herself by being the wol and is desperate to belong. who is seeing someone join her group and being welcomed by everyone. someone who is nearly her equal at her most valuable skill. and tart's advantages over him are slowly being eroded, while her detriments are only increasing. oh, tart fucking hates estinien.

it starts as petty jealousy over her favorite people liking estinien so much. then she becomes passive-aggressive at him. estinien thinks it's kinda funny, the hostility just bounces off him. but by the time they reach thavnair, tart snaps at him for the hairtie incident and estinien's like :/ wow ok and avoids interacting w tart more than necessary. he stays away until fandaniel's funny prank.

we all know in from the cold. best part of edw. the aftermath is lacking, though--right now tart has had all her wol privileges stripped from her, while her being targeted specifically by zenos is becoming a huge liability. just look at the mess fandaniel created... tart panics and runs away from camp broken glass.

the scions are alarmed bc what do you mean the wol is missing AGAIN, estinien volunteers to look for tart while everyone else prepares to storm the tower of babil. he finds her easily w the dragoon jumps, and

by the way, you know what stuck out to me when i played this section of edw? before setting out on the previous mission lucia told the wol that hot soup will be waiting for them when they get back. then we got the scene where jullus eats soup and cries about it, then like a glimpse of the wol before they got kidnapped by fandaniel. we never got to eat the soup guys. we never got the soup!!!

so tart never got the soup. she's starving and cold and in pain and has just had the worst dysphoria experience of all time earlier that day and now here stands the motherfucker, the guy poised to take her place as savior of the star effortlessly, confronting her when she's alone and weak. ohhhh it's so obvious what he's doing here. estinien is going to kill her. well not if he dies first

for years since learning the discipline of the warrior tart never let the inner beast take control until right then. she goes berserk and attacks estinien. who is just like, standing there, and suddenly the wol goes stark raving mad and tries to kill him. fortunately for tart he isn't insane, and it's easy to kick the ass of a tank who is at 25% hp and not using any mits or self-heals. so tart gets beaten handily

estinien lets her lay still in the snow for a bit, then sighs. "aibou, sound off if you aren't dead"

and the sound he hears is wailing sobs. bc its over. if the scions didn't intend to get rid of tart before, they surely do now that she's attacked one of their own. estinien picks her up to bring back to camp and tart struggles and begs to be left alone, until he shuts her up by grabbing her tail. tart gets quiet and lets him carry her like a sack of flour after that.

estinien deflects the scions' questions and dumps tart in a room to eat and get checked out by a chirurgeon. he stays to watch that she doesn't run off again. before he leaves, though, tart calls out to him, "i'm sorry."

"i tried to kill you, you tried to kill me. we're even."

"i'm sorry. i've been such a jerk."

"yeah, i really thought we were friends."

"i'm so sorry."

"hmph. get some sleep while you can. we're leaving soon."

and so things end in a.. clean slate. ish. tart treats him better from then on and estinien decides he does like friendship after all. their relationship recovers enough that by the end of edw estinien is the one tart asks to please carry her like a princess off the ragnarok bc she doesn't feel like walking* and he does carry her nicely this time www

and then in 6.1 they're back to teasing each other again! with friendly hostility this time! tart makes fun of estinien for getting ripped off again, then when finding out it's on purpose she's like "what you think that's cool or something? you think that makes you sooo cool? cause it doesn't and you're lame as hell estinien" (says this while doing the /wow emote bc she does find him so cool for this) and then estinien rolls his eyes bc "i told you to bring one guy and you brought four"

"that's 'cause i'm more popular than you! AHAHAHAHA"

"that's not even funny that's just true"

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

they're best friends. they're my favorite. i love when i can make tart blow up at someone and make up w them bc without fail that becomes her strongest relationship. tart and estinien are truly aibous now i'm so proud of them

[popawritter12]

It's that anon who sent the yandere pyke ask can the reader be male and was a person who was friends with pyke and tried to rescue him but couldn't.

Author's note: Anon 🤝 me.

Likes Yandere

✨ Pyke✨

I really wished to do Yandere things with this man, I really hope you liked it because I LOVED how I do it.

At the same time, you will see that the beginning is somewhat poetic because I plan to present half of the story to a group of writers and readers who are not Yanderes fans, I hope you don't mind <3.

(Also, I choosed this one bcs have all the information of the relationship of the Yandere and the reader, just bcs i want you to know Anon!)

Yandere! Pyke x Male! reader

Yandere character: Pyke

From the videogame/serie/anime/movie: League of Legends.

Case: Mention of kidnapping, murder.

Part: 1 of 1.

I still hear his calm breathing next to me, I still feel his eyes watching me make mistakes and how ready he was to have a sneer on his face, ready to mock me. I still remember the stories he told during countless sleepless nights.

That's how he was; relaxed, not very talkative and quite calm with his emotions, and that was the reason why we connected with each other.

He always showed a different side to me, sometimes bordering on having another personality. It was nice to know that he could have a friend so graceful that he could reveal each and every facet of himself to me.

His words were as soft as a loom in our lonely moments, and he always fluttered my loose locks because of my short stature. His hands, rough and damaged, dry and brutish, always tried to touch me gently, although more than once, in the most escapist moments, he was brutish, and only in times of his annoyance did he refuse to even offer me a hug.

The gentle jokes, the sensitive moments, the angry screams or even indistinctly cold times, we were always together, like one brother to another, with an affection that always terrified my heart.

However, now all those moments became just mine, all the seconds of overwhelming loneliness were purely mine, not to mention the stormy nights where I felt like my mind was submerged in a bathtub, full and on the verge of overflowing with salty water.

Never, in my three centuries of life, do I remember feeling this way about someone; not for my ex-partner, much less for my marked childhood friends, and maybe and just maybe now I realize why he was so clingy to you.

With pain I return to that ship today, where the damaged and barely usable boxes due to the years of age are now an indistinct characteristic of the dirty, disgusting and putrid wooden ship. With every step, my nightmares crawl beneath me, taking my heels and seeking to drag me into my madness, seeking to take me once again to that night where everything had to go wrong.

If he told me months ago what could have happened that day, perhaps he would not have believed him, or perhaps not, but that was already a story from another line, one of which, most likely, I will never be a part.

The smell of fish invades my senses again, as if the world was attracting me back to earth, the day where I had to set sail again.

The creaking wood, the doors creaking plaintively in protest of a change of materials, and the hesitant whispers of the other workers of this horrendous crew brought me back to my early days, where he, always him, would greet me with a basic greeting, nodding his head and leading a walk towards his work area, where, out of mere habit, there was always a side reserved solely and exclusively for me.

While the waves crashed against the wood, the anchor rose, and another day was announced again, beginning again my routine, and perhaps my mental hell, where the cry of my being so precious, blaspheming that I would never let go, and that we would both get out alive if we did things right.

I still get chills remembering that night, and I barely managed to notice the inevitable passing of the day, and the constant calls for attention I received from the fat idiot who called himself captain.

I clicked my tongue at his complaints, humming a vague response that, in the end, I never followed through with. During the course of the day, I can notice the words of comfort from my companions, as they regretted knowing that someone like him had left in such a violent way and his body without being able to receive such a well-deserved rest as the burial would be.

It was still a vivid memory of the scream that that bastard gave me to let him go, threats to cut off my arm if I didn't let go and let him die, and, consciously, he bent my arm to weaken my grip and thus let him go.

I still feel that beating of my heart accelerate when my soul complains loudly, blaming my body for its weakness. And, perhaps, it was true, and if he traveled to the past one more time, I would save him without hesitation. But there would never be a third chance.

It was midnight when I calmly breathed the attenuating air in the midst of the favored wind that hit my skin, and I daydreamed that his footsteps could be heard again behind me, that he cradled his arms against the railing and rested his head lightly on his shoulder, as if I wanted to support it against mine.

I turned a deaf ear to the shouting of voices of all that persons, knowing that the profit shared was always a topic of debate, and I thought for a moment about going, but my mind simply downplayed its importance, since money was the last thing I wanted to be able to have right now.

But, even with all the laziness in the world, I just sighed, before backing away from the ship's railing, looking to get back under cover.

The smell of fresh meat was routinely annoying, and the lights off seemed a new trend due to its lack, however, I turned on the flashlight, seeking to bring calm back to the place.

But all I noticed was a painful moan, a gasp laced with blood and saliva in someone's throat. Lowering the lamp slightly, the fresh blood did not come from a fish.

With one last moan of pain, in the background the corpse was heard landing, causing a crude dull sound in the air.

Just by seeing that terrifying event with the lack of light, I knew that attack, but I couldn't help but feel weak before the amount of darkness. In the throat and in the chest, or with the heart pierced; All the corpses looked like a grotesque scene, and the putrid smell of blood took the main focus, while the sound seemed muffled at this point in the story.

And I heard that voice, that voice that had been bothering me so much for a long time.

—I'm sorry…

Soft as a gust of wind, but clinging to a lack of oxygen, the large corpse falls to the ground, the thud re-entering my senses, returning my mind to what seemed to be, my direct path to my own massacre.

Lifting the lamp a little higher, the tall shadow makes its appearance, finally showing that creature. That creature was that man, and almost immediately, my source of illumination escaped from my hands, falling to the ground immediately.

—Pyke? —I asked, my voice waterier than usual.

He took a step towards me, and the now almost non-existent lighting of the lamp illuminates the red bandana with white details in the center, and his eyes narrowed when he saw me. His look was different from the last time I saw him, and I could inevitably feel how that knot in my heart slowly moved to my throat, prohibiting me from being able to speak.

But he didn't mention anything, he just walked away quickly, but I couldn't hear his footsteps.

He couldn't even say goodbye to me with a hug, which caused me to know, realistically, that he had only hallucinated, and that in reality, it was just a murderer, a mercenary who needed to kill the entire crew. And in the distance I heard his hurried footsteps, which finally made me realize my own reality.

Upon hearing a man's scream, I noticed that his accelerated footsteps were approaching, so I could only get away from there.

Maybe that illusion was a lie, or maybe he really came back, but that story already belonged to an ending that not even I could wait for.

My feet were right on the edge of the boat, and with tears in my eyes, I just knew that he had hallucinated. He wasn't coming back, and now his existence would become a blurry memory in my crazy mind.

The shot crossed a path close to my head, so I had no choice but to tilt my body to fall into the void, to the place that had taken my best friend, and now, he claimed my soul as his property. .

My body suddenly collided with the water, and I was clinging to the unmovable boat for a few seconds, and only when the shots stopped, I had the will to swim out, even with the cold in my body, I knew that there was no other way out.

In my mind was the vivid image of him, of the mask on a face that I thought belonged to him, but that, deep down, I knew was just a hallucination.

I painfully continued against the waves of the sea, and the soft wind was now a chilling reminder that only a cold awaited me outside the water.

And unexpectedly, I could feel something roughly grab my foot, dragging my body under the water. Abruptly my mouth swallowed a few drops of the salty liquid, and my body was finally dragged beneath the dawn of the moon.

The sea was that monster that absorbed the souls of sailors, it was a fearful creature that, when you least expect it, drags your body to that end. And that end was me, I was that monster who had found that agony in this tedious and spiteful night.

-

But it wasn't, and an inhumanly large arm dragged me back to the surface, throwing my body onto the ship.

—Why the hell did you do that? —He asked, most in an angry way.

I touched the water, trying not to lose what little oxygen I had. My breath returned a few seconds later, and my hands landed against the old wood, now damp from the droplets escaping my body.

He was next to me, I can see that a long paper was in his hands, crossing out something that he preferred not to know what it was.

Upon returning to the ground, I raised my body, managing to notice how tall this guy was.

When I found myself I said right with this man, there was only one question in my mind.

—Who are you?

His brow furrowed, just as the weapon in his hands was once again placed in one of his palms. A heavy sigh leaves him.

—Is that the first thing that occurs to you to say? Really?

I gasped sharply, tears returning to my eyes. His voice was the same, it was soft, but it was stricter now. And happiness returned to my soul as if I had returned to a few days ago.

—Pyke... —Almost immediately, I jumped into his arms,—.., it's really you.

He remained stoic, and in my mind, I thought it was because of everything he had been through.

—You're different... but you're still you —I sobbed like a child, and sought refuge in that hug.

His hand wet with his blood refuses to caress my loose locks, so he limits himself to patting my back, with a white T-shirt already covered in stains from previous jobs.

—Ah, holy cow... I thought I lost you —I sighed, my tears wouldn't stop coming—, I'm so happy right now... I just..

I barely managed to separate myself from him, I just wiped away my tears. Although I tried to speak, the memory of the dead people finally brings me back to the events that happened recently.

—Pyke —I called him —, with did you kill them...?

He didn't look confused, and on the contrary, he just responded as if it were as natural as breathing.

—They are on the list.

—What list? —You asked, confused.

Then, I remember the list he was holding a while ago, which I assumed he had saved. With all of my thoughts aligned, and I could only backed away.

—What's going on? —He asked.

—Do you…

But he didn't let me finish because I crashed into a big box full of fish, and he only had to get close to me to corner me.

—Don't say stupid things—He stabbed his weapon against the fish box.

It was as if he wanted to generate something in me, but I couldn't figure out what exactly.

—You will never be on the list.

The closeness between the two was terrifyingly dark for me, but I didn't say anything, I didn't want to keep him away from me, out of the desire to never lose him, but never again.

—But... And the others? —I asked, eager for an answer.

—They? —He responded, confused, —, why are you interested now?

His hand was clinging to the weapon, while with the other he gently played with my loose locks, since that hand had no more blood stains.

—Without them I won't be able to work —I explain, trying to sound kind—besides, I don't understand what the whole problem is going to be like when I get back into murky waters, you know? There is the captain's family who is going to want the ship, some who want to buy it or who will claim me when they see how most of them are murdered and...

—You don't need them —He clarified, his tone now sounding rougher —, you don't need them anymore.

—Come on Pyke, you have to understand that I have to keep paying for things, I have to keep working, or eating, or drinking, or other things... don't you think they can accept me saying that a creature attacked us if the ship is not damaged... ?

I had to stop talking, because he just covered my mouth with the palm of his hand; It was customary for him to do things as uncomfortable as this.

—Stop worrying about those things.

And then he let go of my mouth, while I could feel some heat on my face.

—Even after death you're still the same —I joked, gently taking his hand —, don't take it so personally.

I can feel the nervousness eating away at my mind, trying to stay calm, I just gasp, and he didn't react.

A couple of seconds passed until he just moved his hand, wiping away the remnants of tears on my cheeks.

—Well, I guess we can go back now —I tried to get out of his corner, however, something stopped me—, what's wrong?

—No.

A serious but irritated whisper is heard from his mouth.

—No what..? —I ask, confused.

—You're not leaving. —He grabs my shoulder, pushing me against the large wooden box.

—Pyke, why are you acting so strange...?

—You won't leave again, I won't let the same thing happen to you that happened to me —He assured, imperturbably —, I won't allow any of that.

—But, they're already dead—I try to answer, but the grip on my shoulder becomes painful, rough, starting to hurt me. —. Pyke, you're hurting me.

—No, I won't let anything bad happen to you.

And before I could find a space in his words to respond, he abruptly approached me, almost smashing his lips against mine in a abrupt, brutal and excessively painful way for me.

I whined, I tried to struggle, I even tried to escape from his grasp, but he always found a way to grab me. Before I could do anything, he had already left irreversible marks on my skin, and his teeth so profusely marked on my neck and shoulders were only a mere memory of the night in which, my best friend, and whom I considered my platonic love, came back to life, seeking that affection and ensuring that, inevitably, the ship of which I was part of its crew never to be seen again by any human being

[tottymatsuno]

Zaimoku as a failed duo is so funny to me bc it really does bleed into the group dynamic a lot, since both Todomatsu and Karamatsu are often the odd ones out.

They didn't even rly get along in s1 despite literally trying to, and quickly stop associating with each other despite literally having been assigned each other's name buddy since birth, and also having been besties as kids. We dont even find out why exactly they fall out in the movie, theyre already basically estranged despite Karamatsu clearly being sensitive, and Todomatsu having actively helped him with his acting career (the saw parody episode ncnsns) like they were two sweethearts, but totty basically alternated between choro (ideal bc he could kangaroo and be tolerated), ichi (who he shared friends with), and oso (badbadbad!) But Karamatsu was not an option!

Even in s2 theres not a specific reason why they fell out and continued to be estranged, they actually have a lot of parallels in the things that happen to them, and their relationship with totoko. Theres the au in osoma that shows that they could be at least friendly towards each other despite their differences in sensibility (not shipping tho)

In s3 it makes sense that Todomatsu basically hates him now, bc of the cashier but ig im just kind of surprised by how long and hard he's held a grudge. And the fact he's completely taken over Ichimatsu's initial role as tormentor? Ichimatsu rarely goes out of his way to have an outburst at Karamatsu at this point meanwhile totty literally every opportunity he gets, including making opportunities just apathetically puts Karamatsu in harms way.

He just really kind of hates him? And that's a little uncharacteristic for Todomatsu who tends to get over stuff by the end of the episode, or only brings it back up if someone else does (like the christmas ep where ichi was like what happened to those girls from your job)

I think it probably says a lot actually about how much their fight over the cashier bothered totty? He's still clearly not over it, especially bc this behavior is consistently and exclusively towards kara. Like kicking him and making him fall when going to the bathroom, but letting Osomatsu potentially cut in line, or pushing Karamatsu during the hipipo movie.

I'm not even sure if Karamatsu himself holds any animosity towards totty or realizes why he's suddenly being singled out like that. I can't say what happened and why they were both rejected, but its very clear that somewhere between

This Totty

And this Totty

His confidence and expectations on getting into a relationship have drastically changed. I kinda wonder if he feels especially betrayed by Karamatsu, who's been distant from him bc of their communication issues, and bc this was the first time in the show not only did his brothers support *him* when he wanted to ask someone out, but bc Karamatsu is supposed to be his best friend from birth.

Even in the scene above, its Todomatsu who's actually listing things he liked, even if theyre superficial, meanwhile all Karamatsu is saying is "me too" and Todomatsu as the central character for the episode it makes sense that he'd feel the stronger of the two, but ig to me i see it and the fact hes still angry about it, as like deeper than that.

Because he doesn't really hold a grudge against anyone else. The only other situation i can think of is him making fun of choromatsus brown hair in s2 during his quiz. Like how does Karamatsu, who he's not even super close with in s1 still tie as his favorite brother, with his clearly favorite brother Osomatsu? I think it hurt him a lot more than he said it did, bc he didn't hit Karamatsu first and was initially content to just sit there together after their double rejection.

Anyways i dont think Todomatsu's more deserving of love than Karamatsu, and I don't think he's a better person either. I post about them a lot bc I feel a lot of direct (its onesided tho) competition with karamatsu fans, since for a long time i pretended to be one bc i wasnt confident enough in my own skills to write for Todomatsu, but also bc a lot of totty hate used to come from karamatsu fans, who especially judge Todomatsu based on his behavior towards karamatsu rather than the person he is.

I think karamatsu probably does deserve to have all the freaks who wanna freak him, but ig the thing i wanna say is I don't blame Todomatsu for hating him now, and to me, I love Todomatsu the most. And he deserves all of my love. Even if theres a few of us who would choose him over anyone else, or even if its rly just me, I want Totty to know somebody loves him just as he is without any additional qualifications, for him to change, or for him to be different.

But thats sappy and silly so im gonna end this post very classy and with decorum

[lightburnsyou]

respond to the following prompts out of character, then tag others you'd like to get to know a little bit better.

roleplayer name: sky!

roleplayer pronouns: she/her

muse name: anakin skywalker

preferred communication: tumblr dms or discord!

experience: over fifteen years! i started on neopets (doing "gifted vs government" rps if you remember those. it was basically just x-men ocs lmao) and started on tumblr doing groups when i was about 14? discovered indie rp around a year or so later. moved to discord and wrote 1x1s sometime during lockdown. rped exclusively with one friend for like three years. (still write the same two rp threads w her!) recently came back to tumblr with this blog! have been in many many fandoms.

preferred roleplay type: as long as there's something to work with, i am content. i'm very story focused. i don't care much for threads where it's just two characters chatting about nothing, unless it's giving us juicy character exploration. i prefer threads with some kind of conflict, whether it be internal, between two characters, or a third party/impending doom/secret/whatever. it doesn't have to be action based, but i think all stories do need something going on. as long as there's something, i'm happy. i'm not very good at this, but i also really like threads with strong environments! i suck at remembering to describe places, but i like a nice setting. i think it makes it more fun and vivid, and you can do cool symbolism and metaphors with a good setting. trying to get better at this bc sometimes i feel like i write characters in a void rather than a solid, grounded place. so if my partner is good at establishing setting, it makes me happy bc i feel like i'm learning lmao

pet peeves & dealbreakers: ooc dramaaaa. it is my biggest dealbreaker. also this is a minor pet peeve and hasn't really come up here, but i must warn you all that i am not a hayden simp. please don't assume i am just bc i write anakin. love him as anakin! great actor! but idrk him and i don't want to talk for hours about how hot he is. i'm a lesbian, and i'm just not interested in talking about the hotness of men really at all, let alone in excess. i won't stop you from talking about it, but i just can't sometimes. a boundary i have. i'll talk about my love for anakin all day any day tho.

plot or memes: both! i will say that memes can sometimes get the ball rolling faster, especially if the characters have an established dynamic or common setting! that being said, i do love plotting just as much! never feel scared to reach out to me to discuss a plot or dynamic! i'm down. and unless otherwise specified, you're more than welcome to continue any meme without asking! i try to write them with potential continuation in mind

long replies or short replies: i don't really mind length, but i do gravitate to multi-para. one-liners are great starting points, but i naturally expand. i don't vibe with blabbing just for the sake of matching length, though. anakin is a talker, so a lot of my replies do have a bit of dialogue! however, whatever i feel the reply needs is what the reply gets, and i hope my partners do the same! there's no pressure to match length, as long as there's something to work with, yk?

best time to write: it really depends! my work schedule fluctuates quite a bit. for me, as long as im (a) not tired, (b) have a quiet environment, and (c) am in a somewhat good mood, i can write something. the thing that hinders my writing most frequently is stress or sleepiness.

are you like your muse?: i think we all are in some ways. there is a reason we chose to write or create the characters we did. my writing is obviously rooted in how i see the world, and through that, how i see ani. there will always be a part of me in the way i write anakin. we have very different life experiences, reactions, and perspectives on things, but i love that boy.

tagged: @petitsdieu

tagging: anyone who sees this and wishes to fill it out! tag me! it's good to get to know one another

[your-gay-grandma]

Hey Grandma, I'm back, remember me?

Wanted to give you an update on how I'm doing. I've been at an art camp that I absolutely adore this week, but it has brought some probably repressed feelings to light.

I don't know if you remember my other ask, but one of the things I talked about was how I'm pretty chill with what pronouns people use for me. But well, two of the people at camp are nonbinary and/or use they/them pronouns. And whenever people would accidentally misgender them, they would correct them. They were never upset or angry, but they would repeat the sentence emphasizing the correct pronouns.

I have 2 other friends that I spend a lot of time with who use different pronouns than their AGAB (I knew all of these people since we were like 8 so I have spent a long time since they first changed their pronouns working on correctly gendering them), but neither of them will really enforce their pronouns. In fact one of them often doesn't register when they get misgendered in friend groups (probably a side affect of being closeted in a southern US town), and I've taken to being pronoun police. So this week has been the first time in a while that I've seen a queer person standing up for themselves and correcting misgendering.

As I mentioned, I've been using she/they pronouns for a while (also neos now maybe, I haven't had much chance to try them out but they sound fun). But bc I'm afab and fem presenting, most people I'm out to tend to stick to she/her (in public because the last thing I need is to get bullied and in private ig they just forget). I thought I was okay with it- and it's not like you can correct someone for misgendering you when they are using proper pronouns. Idk though, recently she/her feels almost like someone is gently sliding a knife across the surface of my skin, not strong enough to cut but enough to sting slightly. I don't know why, maybe just the presence of other people constantly correcting the use of she/her or he/him? I kind of want to ask my main friend group to stop using she/her for me or at least switch them up a lot more often, but idk how to start that conversation. Any advice?

I'd also appreciate maybe just like a pronoun validation sentence? They/them plus neopronouns (maybe a little bit of she/her but not much) with the name Luna, if you know how to do that.

Thank you so much, your posts always make me feel better 💞

Love, Raven

ahh i love receiving this update from Luna! their messages always brighten my day with their positivity and beautiful journey of acceptance. i am so proud of her!

so wonderful to hear from you, my dear! and so happy to hear you’ve been having such fantastic and validating experiences lately.

as far as asking your friends to use different pronouns for you, i think that’s a fantastic idea! you can just start the conversation (either in person or over text if you have a groupchat or something like that) and explain that you have found she/her pronouns to be less validating lately and you were wondering if they’d use they/them exclusively. i think they’d be overjoyed to help you out!

please keep me posted and remember i’m so proud of you and always here for you!

[tau1tvec]

I love the ts3 community so much but sometimes I feel like I'm not part of the exclusive gangs you seem to have to be in. It's such a small community that it hurts when I see people sharing and enjoying things and knowing I can´t take part of it. I almost feel like a lesser part of it and excluded. I was just wondering if you share this feeling?

Sometimes… I think a lot less these days than I used to tho, perhaps I’ve just come to terms with the fact that I don’t have to be in on any one specific group to enjoy myself here, and I feel like that’s how a lot of sims 3 simblrs feel, but I get that it’s something that helps for some people to feel more accepted online ( and irl ). Quite a few of my closest simblr friends are long gone, but I won’t lie and say I don’t miss them sometimes.

The Sims 3 community is quite small however, and I think a lotta the reason why we seem more insular than other sims communities is bc of how long we’ve been here, and how many of us have such different styles of “playing”. We’ve also gone through a lotta ups and the downs, the downs being in much more recent years as we continue to dwindle. Some of us lost our blogs, gotten our downloads deleted or hacked, and although it doesn’t happen a lot here ( thank god ), sims 3 simmers, and The Sims 3 in general tends to get a lotta shit, like idkw, but I actually kinda loathed posting anything sims 3 related on Twitter, some weirdo always had some unnecessary shit to say. This tended to make me a bit more guarded, and I know I'm not alone in this.

Despite all this, you’d be very surprised to find the lot of us are actually very nice, and helpful. I know r/sims3 is without a doubt the most chill sub I follow on Reddit, everyone is so sweet to one another ( mostly ) and it’s just a bunch of people enjoying themselves, with very little drama… well, unless it’s drama happening in our games.

tldr; pick something you’re most interested in seeing and doing, whether it be edits, building, making cc, making sims… the quickest way to finding friends in a community is to find ones with your like interests. When I wrote stories, it was just instinct to jump in with all the other sim storytellers. So sometimes it isn’t so much that there’s “cliques”, but rather people who tend to focus on one specific niche.

I tend to like a little bit of everything, hence why I don’t really feel as if I need to fit into any specific group at all.

[reveseke]

Eli Moskowitz × Hybrid! Reader; the running start | Dating headcanons

Acts through 1 to 2 are being discussed here. It's all over the place bc the creature can't focus on one part long enough bc they aren't interesting enough for his brain and having bad time organizing them lol .

Only Eli dating headcanons for this one. A second part where it's poly Eli × Moon × R is going to come bc i said so and it's going to be a bit angsty for obvious reasons.

The only reason I got these finished today is because i got frustrated and fueled for the lack of Eli x male readers. Also hyperfixation on hybrid au go brrr

Trope — strangers to friends to lovers | fluff | Romance

About reader — one " he " pronoun used to refer to Hybrid! R at one point | Second person POV. (You/your) | male reader heavy, although can be perceived as any kind of reader !

CW — Being bullied | Exclusion | Fluff | just dating lol nothing much

DNI - Fudanashis/fujodashis, women & fem-aligned, profic/proship, anti - LGBTQ+ folk & exclusionists, anti-antis, Necro- Zoo- Pedophiles + (NO)Maps(and other terms), basic DNI criteria, kink/nude/nsfw/sh/vent/pro-ana/ed/18+ blogs

Brief about the reader ! Also these headcanons are part of small fic i have going on, so in general what the reader is in the fic:

Hybrid au go brrr; oh yeah R is strongly hinted to be a dog hybrid ! Belgian malinois hybrid in story.

R is fit due to his fast metabolism & hinted to be taller than Eli, but shorter than Demetri in the actual story !

Brief background has been set for reader & part of it is mentioning abusive friendships, being seen as a troubled kid and having bad reputation at school bc of being hybrid !!

The only thing about your looks that are discussed in this hybrid au are your hybrids parts that are tan to black due to Belgian malinois colors. This does not determine your hair color in the fics/headcanons, it can be something completely different from the hybrid parts. ( Also bc these headcanons never disclosed any colors )

Otherwise gender & race ambiguous reader (if not for boys locker room), still hinted to be male/ amab ! Could also be non-binary or transmasc.

Act 1 — Officially meeting; He's had his eye out to you, but hasn't had the courage to get to know you. That's about to change !

Act ½ — Before Cobrai Kai & Miguel + formal introduction. This is a brief background check lol.

Let's just say Eli had had a eye on you at some point, were it that he noticed you hanging out with your former friends or the group of hybrids in the school or the fact that you were more indulged in a book to care what was going on around you. Or just bc you looked really good to his eye and he couldn't go without getting few glances off of you.

I mean you knew someone was watching you, but at this point being in a school of mostly humans and just few groups of hybrids it became difficult to tell since people watched you everyday anyway from afar.

Demetri had taken a notice of how Eli had been acting and glancing over his shoulders or just blatantly staring at you during their chats in the hallways or in the cafeteria. He warned Eli about you saying how hybrids were bad and could only be trouble. Take with a grain of salt since he's had very little contact with hybrids in the first place bc of him being a cowardcautious.

This being before you were pulled out if your current group and put into a new one after a nasty fight with a deer hybrid that ended up with you being rammed into and biting the girl.

Didn't exactly make good first impression to walk through that door to Eli's class with a muzzle on. But you didn't mind, the only thing you did mind was the muzzle though. It was heavy, not padded enough and put on too tight! Left a few scuffed marks on the bridge of your nose.

Of well suck it up for this time bc the first time you interacted with Eli or anybody in the home class was after few months of being there. The class was doing some history projects and one of the projects we're about a historical event that concerned hybrids. This is the first you noticed Eli as he was the one to correct them on it at first before you had even reacted. Then you corrected them further as you knew more of the situation. Ofc you knew of it hour parents did educate you about the history between hybrids and humans so you weren't confused how people may have treated you.

They cleared the mistake out and now you knew of Eli's existence. Over few months before next year you could now pinpoint your watcher. And you didn't even mind him that much since you thought he was cute while really timid.

Act 1 — meeting Eli for the first time and actually interacting with him.

Intimidated is a word one could use when Eli interacts with you the first time ! Like huh the predator hybrid from the back of the class is now my partner while it was clear that he was not to be part of the partner / group projects and did them on his own bc people were uncomfortable and kinda scared bc of him.

So for a project you were assigned as Eli's partner , usually there would be one three people project or one doing alone but not this time. Bc teacher said fuck that let's the quiet kid with the " trouble " kid.

It was a miracle to see how you interacted with him to others esp to Demetri as the boy was always cautious about hybrids. You were in charge of the project mostly since you mistook Eli's usual timid nature as him being scared of you. in truth he was in awe to be so close to you with you asking and talking to him. He thought your hybrid ears looked really nice and soft. Were they?

You tried not to intimidate him much, but after few weeks Eli had opened up more and now both of you were talking about the project more while the teacher looked really smug about having you assigned into a partner project. It was by principals note a hard thing that you weren't to be in partner or group projects because they didn't want more fights.

When the project was done Eli made it his challenge to actually befriend you and include you in things.

This making you feel really overwhelmed and having to take a time out. You don't usually trust people easily but Eli was so genuine with his quest to befriend you and there was no malice or anything in his tone or scent that would have thrown you off.

He knew you would just succumb back to your corner with the book you had so he had to try. Convincing Demetri to go with his plan was a long shot, but in the end he agreed. You three became fast friends and bonded over few common things.

actually thinking how Eli's confessing his feeling to you would go. I'd say he's too shy to out right ask you so you would have to do it. But Eli would absolutely show his interest in you by indulging into something of your interest or gifting you cool things. I'd say he's pretty crafty with his hands and likes making small things for you.

And you'd show him your interested in him by how you would be. If you like gifting things, absolutely do Eli would have them in a small container or on a shelf in the first place being proud of them. If you like baking or arts and crafts make something for him and he'll absolutely love you even more.

Over the summer if your talkative and take the first step by confessing face to face to him asking if he feels the same but at the same time being like "hey if you don't return them we can still hopefully be friends if you want to and the feelings will go away" but i don't think he'd actually listen to the end and instead blurt out his own feelings matching you.

If you don't like to do things face to face you could gift him something you find most treasurable and attach a note to it. He'd answer to it when he notices it.

But in the first place you two become a couple and that's kind of a wild ride.

Before you could actually be fully transparent with him you made him promise never to hurt either one of you and to be there through hard times and Eli agreed on it. #reader be having abusive friendships in the past that he has yet to fully heal.

🦝💤❄️🦝💤❄️

Act 2 — Dating; what kind of boyfriend is Eli and how he'd react if you were a racer in hybrid-based races?

I see Eli being really timid and shy lover, like he doesn't make himself known by words. He likes to touch you in some way or another and absolutely adored cuddle time with you.

He isn't big on PDA in the public, but you two know how much he adores and loves you by the few glances he sends you through the day.

Also bc fuck bullies, nobody be messing with Eli or Demetri as long as you are there. Well maybe verbally, but you really make a difference by being a predator-type hybrid who everybody knows not to mess with.

You take a more physical approach by being by his side and taking guard for when Kyler and his assholes come.

I'd say he likes to pet your hair and touch your ears most, he knows touching a hybrids tail is a big no no to many of them and this includes you as well. He always asks for premission before petting you since it's more appropriate than just reaching out and touching you.

He doesn't wish to alarm or scare you too much. Also because your ears are sensitive to loud noises and to touch he doesn't want you to snap.

It's usually him laying glued to your side or head on your chest or lap. Just feeling the rhythm of your heart and hearing the breaths you take calms him down.

Also Eli's not opposed to sitting in your lap and neither are you to the idea. This has been done on multiple occasions and even in public when you've just dragged the poor boy to sit on your lap if he seemed to be having a rough time.

Also using Eli as a head rest by putting your chin just randomly on his head is a thing.

Forehead kisses shared on a movie marathons and in public just a quick smooch before heading different ways.

I'd still say he's really touchy and most of the cuddle time is spend with his hand tangled in you hair or stroking your ears. He's always happy when he hears the tail go wag wag wag and thumping against something

He adores your little quirks as well if you get more doggish quirks than you let on. And when you stop masking and hiding them in private he'll be over the moon bc it means you are comfortable with your hybrid side being open to him.

Quiet times are the best, just both of you basking in each other's love and adoration.

Sleepovers are a thing that happen from time to time.

Also playing some games together doesn't matter in if they are video games or board games. They are played and most likely done with challenges.

Simple quiet cafe, library and study dates were common among the two of you.

Hiking, baking and reading together even binge watching series' and doing things together in the first place.

I think he'd enjoy trekking and hiking with you. Playful contests if which one of you is faster; which you go easy enough for Eli to let him win ;)

Eli adores your hybrid traits, absolutely makes it known by complimenting them or asking if he can touch them. this has been said once and I'm saying it again.

( Race part )

Also mandatory cuddle time after race is the best cuddle time. This is the time he's allowing you to lean into him and lay your own head on top of his chest instead of him doing so. You may– likely will be asleep after few minutes of coming home, freshening up and cuddling.

About you being a runner he'd absolutely be cheering you on, spending time with you before a race and just being really supportive in general esp if your family doesn't show much interest in it.

I really think he'd be the one to steal your clothes especially if you like oversized clothes. But otherwise your clothes would be pretty much his sizes and vice versa lol !

Also I'd see hybrid based races to be more outside and hiking trail based with fenced out area for the day of the race also just a point out that hybrid based sports/ division in sports are a lot more aggressive and competitive since they literally have completely natural weapons on them lmao so fights and injuries are more likely to be visible in the tv and/or during the sport.

It depends if the race is local and somewhere close to the valley then Eli would absolutely make sure he'd be there in person. Otherwise he'd be watching the broadcast live of the race on tv.

He's usually really supportive of you and worries a lot if any of the hybrids in the race come out as violent towards each other and you. Since this is something that commonly happens and it ain't exactly frowned at. He'd absolutely help with possible injuries and helping you calm down if the race was mentally really taxing.

🦝💤❄️🦝💤❄️

Few misc headcanons i couldn't see to fit anywhere else lol.

He's never seen your hybrid side act up to the point where your human side just slides out of the conscious, but when he does it's usually bc of someone being an absolute ass and forcing it out by being a walking hazard. Eli is the first person you go to when it happens bc the hybrid side has attach itself on him and views him as something to protect and be protected by.

Any scars you may have that were results from older fights are appreciated and seen as something to tell tales of

Also Eli would absolutely get his own validation and love for his own scar from you. Just kiss it and say it makes him look handsome and much cooler than those other losers lol.

Demetri likes to crash the dates and is sometimes just third wheeling with them bc they tolerate him enough to let him be with them on dates lol

Just thinking about Eli and you on a date on the world wheel cuddled up against each other and then Demetri just speaking his mind off on the other side about something mundane.

[lumpsbumpsandwhumps]

Hiya!

I just wanted to toss my hat into the ring with the whole "sexism in whump" thing. I definitely agree that there is a certain level of sexism. But it's more nuanced than that, and I think saying the writers of whump are sexist and calling it a day is doing a huge disservice to the issue as a whole.

I think the main thing with having majority male characters is mainly the society that we live in, ie a patriarchal society. We already more often have women being victims of assault than men, so in these fantasy situations, it's fun and empowering to turn the tables, and more to the point, it feels safer BECAUSE you're "punching up" at the overpowered opposing team instead of punching across or down.

Then there's the point that men generally also aren't allowed to feel/show emotion, so there's a certain something about making men show emotions and exploring those characters in a safe environment, because the media we consume and the men we interact with on a day to day basis just don't share that kind of emotion.

Then ofc, you gotta mention the attraction/sexuality aspect of it too. This is purely anecdotal, but a good chunk of my whumper friends I know are sexually/romantically attracted to men (if not exclusively, then mostly). So a lot of the time they like to see men in these roles simply bc its attractive. I myself like mostly men, and I will admit, I do find it very attractive when theyre beaten bloody and bruised, and less so for women. I like having the women be in more powerful positions most of the time. Though I do have female whumpee and whumper characters bc I like to have variety (my worst whumper in my main story is a woman, in fact), so I might not be the best example.

Lastly, I also think the media we consume is contributing to it (here is where the sexism you mentioned comes back in). Most of the books we read, the media we consume, has a male main character, and if the main character is female, generally shes female for a reason, and its something that plays a predominant role in the story. Very rarely can a female character be an everyman character (every"man") because just the point of her being a woman make her unique. Not all the time, of course, and I definitely don't agree with this, but it's just what I've observed in media. We're getting better about it, but it's definitely still present.

Then when there is a female main character, more often than not she has a male love interest, or is written under the "male gaze" which is a whole different beast that needs to be tackled, but safe to say that turns a lot of readers and writers off bc she only exists as a plot device. Or worse, a sex object. People in this community (generally) dont want to turn women into objects a much as they do men bc women are already objects so often mainstream media, and they know the negative effects of that.

So what do you do when you have all the female character you read about or see in media are annoying, plot devices, or just give you the ick bc they're written under the male gaze? You don't include them.

You're taught that a male is what's interesting, the only type of person that can be "just some guy". So if you want some guy, subconsciously, before you even write them, they're going to be male by default.

This is ofc a *huge* overgeneralization of media and people who write/consume whump, and I place no blame on any individual or smaller group. This is a whole whump community thing. I fall victim to all this as well, and I think all that I've written out above is largely, if not wholly subconscious anyway.

So in conclusion, we live in a society (that's dominated by men, so we want to violence men both bc its what we consume more often than not anyway, and also bc we're angry at the men that control the society and make everything worse for women, and we don't want to be Like Them™).

((Was this too long? Idk, I still didn't get in everything I wanted to say but it's already so long lol. I love group psychology so this was definitely more of a special interest ramble more than anything else.))

-- @whumble-beeee

Very well thought out and interesting takes! I absolutely agree with a lot of these, especially when it comes to unintentionally but subconsciously excluding the creation of female characters because we've been almost conditioned to think of them as these boring, 2D characters that add no value to a story, not like beloved Male Side Character #3 who has 10 pages of fanfics on AO3.

I do just have to throw this out here that it's kind of wild to me out of every batshit comment I've made, it's the lady whump one that made everyone stop and go "erm, actually!!". Which I guess I should have seen coming since the one time I posted about my discovery of the "whump discourse" tag and took a gander, 70% of it was about the schematics lady whump, soooooooooo...🎶just my observation🎶

Anyways -- y'all are 100% entitled to whatever opinion you have on this, whether it agrees or disagrees with mine. I have put my little thoughts about it out into the world as one does, and you are welcome to reblog it absolutely trashing on it or giving full support. I am going to stop responding to the asks and such though regardless because I'm sure everyone else is tired of seeing it on their dash (of course, unfollow and block buttons are free to use also). Some of y'all make really good points and I fully think you should expand on them on your own blogs rather than trying to write essay-length back and forth's with myself or each other through my askbox lmao.

And just remember: We are little freak nobodies in a niche corner or a niche website. You don't have to like my opinions. I don't have to like yours. Sometimes we need to stop and think "is this worth the energy?"

[blondiest]

ok so the invisible reader question is something i have thought of a lot!! being someone who is often an invisible reader & who has friends who interact with fic 100% passively i feel i can give at least a partial answer to this question. when ao3 first opened it was, in the fandoms i was personally part of, thought of exclusively as an archive & therefore secondary to all other modes of sharing fic. ao3 was always my last resort & i only went there to a) download fic or b) if it was available literally nowhere else. so i think in some people's minds it doesn't necessarily feel like an interactive or social space. the social norm has shifted very dramatically SO i do try to comment & kudo but tbh it often just slips my mind. bc of this context it does not feel incongruent to share something with a friend or put something on a rec list without leaving comments/kudos -- like the rec/share is the interaction, the comment/kudo is a bonus thing. there's also an incredibly large group of people who just don't think of fandom as a social space, so it would literally never occur to them to comment/kudo. ime they often feel their comments would be intrusive or overfamiliar. they're not spending any time on fandom social media so they aren't seeing any of the discussions from authors about how interaction is desirable. ime they generally do understand how hard authors work & have fics they hold close to their heart, but they're operating off totally different fandom rules. many of them also don't have ao3 accounts. they do not know how to use the site so they're unaware they can leave comments without an account (esp. since ao3 asks you for an email if you try to leave one) and they do not know what kudos are. the button imo is less intuitive than it seems bc 'kudos' as a term has fallen out of popular use. there's also been this huge push on tumblr to discourage people from liking posts & i'll bite my tongue about that whole situation BUT i do think the upshot of it is a lot of people genuinely think authors will be upset if you leave kudos, so they avoid doing so. this isn't purely speculation, i've seen people saying as such a few times & a final thing is a lot of people don't like to interact with certain kinds of fic (generally: nsfw or certain forms of h/c or whump) bc they don't want to be seen reading it. you CAN leave anon comments/kudos but they don't necessarily know that esp. bc of ao3 asking for an email. ANYWAY sorry here are all my thoughts(tm) on the matter.

KYO!!!!!!!!! this is an amazing answer & covers several things i myself have experienced (not seeing fandom as necessarily social before i started writing, not understanding how to use AO3) plus gives extra context / history for the whole thing. this is exactly exactly exactly the kind of insight i was looking for. you are the best for real (as usual) ❣️🥰

[can-you-stomach-it]

As I said before when reblogging the transmasc version, I am unsure if these things uniquely target non binary people. But here I go, once again after a Read More because this is a bit long:

This is, I think, very particular to us non binary folks who are also men or women. But most cis people, and frankly quite a lot of trans people too, refuse to accept me as both non binary and a man. I've been told I am just "trying to be different". All non binary identities meet a level of scrutiny and disbelief that is even higher than the one regularly faced by trans people in general.

Back when I was 19-20, and had just gotten an appointment at a gender clinic, I was warned by a trans woman: do not say [to the staff] you are non binary. Since then, I've met a couple of non binary people who were denied access to HRT because the clinic didn't think they were trans enough to be deserving of a medical transition. I went to my appointment with the psychologist, pretended I was a binary trans man, and got my HRT. Medical gatekeeping affects all trans people, but non binary folks are especially fucked over by these systems.

I live in a Spanish-speaking country. Here, a lot of words have a gender. But a lot of us use a new pronoun to make words neutral. Instead of saying "la doctora" o "el doctor", we say "le doctore". This is great both for non binary people and gender equality more generally—since otherwise the masculine form of a noun ("los doctores") is used as default. Anyway. With that context out of the way, let me tell you: you cannot imagine the level of hostility, derision and hate you will face if you use gender neutral language in public and social media. Being laughed at is a best case scenario. I've gotten rape threats and other violent responses online, just for changing one letter in a word. While non binary people are not, by any means, the only or even the most frequent users of gender neutral Spanish, I do think we are specifically hurt by this. Since you know. Those are my pronouns. I have to monitor myself very closely to avoid gendering myself correctly in certain spaces (I also go by he/him but I prefer they/them—elle).

Getting any type of gender marker changed is such a hassle. I was lucky to attend college in an understanding place. It was clear that they hadn't gotten a trans student before, so they didn't really have any protocol for helping me. But they listened and changed my name in the system. However, when the topic of my gender marker came up, I hit a roadblock. They didn't ever update it (I asked for it to be an X since I wanted the option to be available for future students). My friend, who is a trans man and attended college one year after, got his gender marked changed to Male without issue.

When I was doing my legal transition, I wasn't given any non binary option. I wouldn't have taken it either way, since I do not want any official document giving away the fact that I am trans. However, I do think the option should exist for the non binary people who want it.

Once a psychologist told me I couldn't be non binary because people were either men or women, and saying I was neither was like saying I was an object and calling me by neutral pronouns made her uncomfortable bc it made her complicit in my objectification. I wish I was making this up.

I did an experiment. Since September 2023, I have presented myself as a trans man exclusively. Like, when I make friends at work or whatever, and the topic comes up, I will say I am a trans man. Before then, I woud say I was non binary. The amount of times I got misgendered was reduced by 90%. When I said I was non binary, I was constantly being grouped with women, because people do not take it seriously and assume you are actually your AGAB.

I guess this is more general, but every once in a while I dress very fem. We are talking short skirts, crop tops, shit like that. When I go out dressed that way, strangers assume I am a woman, hear me speak (I am on T) and assume I am a trans woman. I've experienced transmisogyny incidents as a result. Like, last year when I was coming back from a Pride parade, a man catcalled me, misgendering me in the process, and I told him to fuck off. He proceeded to get incredibly angry (because now he assumed he had been attracted to a trans woman). He cursed at me, called me a faggot, and so on. Thankfully, he kept driving, so I wasn't punched or worse. But yeah, I have learned to avoid telling men to fuck off when they assume I am a woman and sexually harass me because of that. Better to deal with that than risk a hate crime. I feel like non binary people often experience both transandrophobia and transmisogyny, along with nbphobia, and we don't know how to deal with it bc those resources aren't directed at us.

❗️❗️ This is asked entirely in good faith. This post is intended to open dialogue and help with solidarity and understanding. ❗️❗️

I would like to hear specifically from nonbinary people how the system of exorsexism/enbyphobia uniquely targets and affects you. Things that you feel other demographics do not experience. Reblogs and replies are very encouraged! If you would prefer, you could dm or send an ask to be added anonymously by me.

This is in the spirit of wanting to understand. I am listening. I encourage all binary trans people to not speak on this topic and let nonbinary people do the talking here. Reblog the post to spread it, but please say nothing.

Any and all people who identify as nonbinary are encouraged to participate. This is not agab-locked. If you are agender, trans neutral/neutrois, genderfluid, bigender, trigender, multigender, xenogender, genderqueer, third gender, two spirit, or any other gender not wholey contained within the strict binary of "man" or "woman", this post is for you. Even if you have already posted on the trans fem or trans masc versions, if you are nonbinary, you are welcome here.

This is not bait to start a fight. I will block without hesitation anyone who is actively being a shithead on this post. I want to hear and uplift your voices by getting it directly from you.

Click this to access the trans fem and trans women version of this post.

Click this to access the trans masc and trans men version of this post.