#it’ll just consist of david crushing on him even more

[sir-davey]

David’s big fat crush

Made this goofy comic of David crushing on Jonathan majestically drinking his soup.

There’s supposed to be another page of this but I didn’t have time to draw it lol, so I guess wait for part 2 😈 But hehehee, I can see David definitely having a crush on Jonathan even before their covenant, like him coming to Saul’s palace for the first time, and then sees this pretty prince boi, and immediately falls in love lollll, and everything Jonathan does is absolutely gorgeous to him, to the point he be seeing sparkles and rainbows 🌈✨

[possibilistfanfiction]

avatrice + kiss on the back of the hand?

[ava + some friends, more outside pov (in the future!) for @unicyclehippo]

//

despite the fact that physical therapy is boring, and not at all your favorite activity, you like your therapist, brian, and at least you’ve gotten to consistently schedule it early enough in the morning you don’t miss your bridge group. and you’ve been compliant — mostly; you did spend more time on your feet last week than you were supposed to, but your grandson was visiting and you would never let him leave without having his favorite brisket and matzoh ball soup — and have done the exercises brian gives you to do at home every day. 

the physical therapy gym is mostly boring, more — and you hate to say it — old people, like you, recovering from total knee or total hip replacements, and a few young athletes. your son, ezra, drops you off and picks you up twice a week; sometimes his husband, marcus, fills in and he always takes you to get donuts afterward, your little secret. today you sit at the table you always start at, your walker steady and almost unnecessary at this point, and a young woman, exhausted-looking and the kind of pretty that could easily belong in a party when you were young, sitting in a sleek wheelchair by the table, smiles gently across you. you’re early by a few minutes — ezra is wonderful, but he’s a bit wound up all the time — so you smile back. ‘i’m ruth,’ you say. 

‘hi.’ the young woman seems happy to talk, cheerful. ‘i’m ava.’

‘very exciting beginning to your morning, it seems like.’

she groans. ‘ugh, tell me about it. my partner barely woke up in time to drive me here.’

you laugh. ‘not a morning person?’

ava rolls her eyes. ‘no, not at all. i love mornings though, even if they’re at physical therapy.’

‘it’s not so bad,’ you tell her. ‘have you done it before?’

‘not really.’ she shrugs. ‘i have some chronic spine stuff from a car accident when i was younger, and my doctors have tried… a lot, so we’re hoping this helps everything.’

‘i hope it’ll help.’ you gesture to your walker. ‘total hip replacement. from being old.’

ava’s smile is bright. ‘kinda cool, to get old, though, huh? and to have as cool of clothes as you do? i can only hope the same for myself, one day.’

it’s sweet, and sincere, and aching under the surface. ‘it is wonderful, to get to grow old. and —‘ you wink — ‘to get to be better dressed than everyone around you.’

‘hell yeah.’ she looks at her own hoodie and joggers. ‘i usually am better dressed than this, or, at least, more fun; i just had surgery last week.’

‘well, when you’re feeling better, i’m sure i’ll be very impressed.’

‘i don’t know about that.’ ava blushes a little, and you’re delighted. ‘i think my partner is probably the better dressed of the two of us; she’s very chic. but i’m fun!’

‘fun is the most important part. especially when you’re an old lady.’

she laughs and then brian walks up, says hi to you, and you wave. ‘good luck, ava. i’ll talk to you soon.’

‘for sure,’ she tells you enthusiastically.

/

you’re waiting on a bench in front of the physical therapy gym in the warm sunshine — not too hot, not too cold, perfect — when ava walks toward you, slowly and with a cane, but walking.

‘is this seat taken?’

‘for a pretty girl like you? absolutely not.’

she laughs, bright and warm. ‘ruth, you flirt.’

‘i’m old.’ she sits gingerly and it makes you hurt for her, just a little — not that she needs any mobility aids, but because it’s clear she’s in pain. ‘i get to flirt whenever i want.’

‘oh, is that how it works?’

‘absolutely,’ you tell her sagely.

‘well, other than me, of course, let me know if there are any crushes i should know about? i love drama, and my life is, both tragically and fortunately, drama free right now.’

‘well, sean in my bridge group, and david from shul. oh, and lee from my favorite cafe i go to for lunch.’ 

‘hmm, pros and cons? or are we playing the field?’

you laugh, and you tell her about sean’s clever hands, the beautiful way david reads scripture, how lee always offers you half his reuben. ava listens attentively, like she really cares, and, after she asks a thoughtful series of questions about how to play bridge — my girlfriend would probably demolish at this game, honestly — you understand that she really does care; she really does want to know you. so you ask her questions too; her partner’s name is beatrice, and she is, according to ava, beautiful and kind and exacting; ava grew up mostly in spain and is a bartender, which she loves, and they live in a house on the beach because beatrice, apparently, works in consulting all over europe, and also enjoys teaching aikido. ‘she has four black belts,’ ava says, and fans herself. it makes you laugh, and when marcus drives up in his practical, nice bmw hybrid, you pat her hand. 

‘see you tuesday, ruth.’

‘enjoy your weekend, ava.’

/

ava’s walking better on tuesday, and she sits next to you without asking this time, after you’re both finished. she fishes around in her crossbody bag and then holds out her hand, some candy with wrappers in mandarin on her palm. ‘they’re plum candies. they’re beatrice’s favorites, so i thought i was being sweet, but, i kinda went overboard and ordered, like, enough for a small army.’

you laugh but take one — you would never turn down an offered sweet; something of a communion — and open it while ava does the same. it’s wonderful: flavorful and sweet and a little sour, and you tell ava that.

‘ugh, i know,’ she says. ‘i don’t think bea had had them for a really long time; she cried the other day.’ ava smiles, like she’s trying not to laugh. ‘it was very sweet. a little dramatic, but i get it. i kind of go crazy for panellets.’

‘well, i’m making babka tomorrow, how about i bring you both some thursday?’

‘ruth, that’s too much.’

‘i love to share food,’ you say. ‘really, it’s part of the job description of a bubbe. they only let you in if you share your babka.’

ava rolls her eyes but then she nods. ‘i would really love that.’

ezra drives up, and you stand — easily, now, without pain and much stiffness — and wave.

/

your babka turns out as good as it always does — the best at shul, despite the fact that yael claims hers is better — and you place a few carefully in a tupperware to bring to ava, who seems a little wilted when she sits next to you. she waves you off when you look concerned.

’no big deal,’ she says. ‘just didn’t sleep too well last night. but! now i’m going to eat the world’s best babka and nap after bea drops me off. do you think i could convince her to nap with me?’

‘depends on why you didn’t sleep well last night.’

it takes ava a minute but then she laughs, brightening immediately. ‘ruth!’

‘you’re young, you should be having fun.’

‘oh, we have fun.’ ava grins. ‘don’t worry.’

‘well, speaking of fun,’ you say, ‘a few of my friends and i go to this water aerobics class at the country club together, every wednesday. i’m sorry if i was eavesdropping, but i heard kayvon tell you that some water therapy might be helpful? it’s really quite fun.’

‘that sounds awesome, honestly. i just got cleared to drive myself next week, so i would love that!’

you don’t bother to mention that everyone in the class is over seventy, mostly because you don’t really care, but, also, ava doesn’t seem to care, at all, that you’re at least fifty years older than her: you’re friends, and she’s kind, and bright. 

once again, marcus is there to pick her up before her ride, but you give her your number — and you add her on facebook, because that’s easier for you sometimes — before you leave. you send her the details later that day, and she responds with a few emojis you don’t understand, but that your grandson laughs at when you show him. good enough. 

/

‘i didn’t know, really, what to wear to water aerobics,’ ava says, happily sitting on the edge of the pool with you. she has on a simple red one-piece, her hair tied up in a bun, although short pieces escape. the back dips low and you see multiple scars, some faded and one new, and painful looking; ava’s light often makes you forget why you first met. 

‘this is great,’ you tell her. you gesture to your brightly colored, polka dotted tankini. ‘you can spice it up however much you want. just wait until you meet angela.’

as if on cue, angela, tall and Black and striking, walks in, with her perpetually perfect close cropped hair, in a pair of heels and draped in an elegant silk coverup over a royal blue bikini. ‘whoa,’ ava says, and it’s so earnest it makes you laugh.

‘listen,’ ava says, ‘i’m bi, queer, and, yeah, i have a partner who is so so so beautiful, like, god, this morning she came home from surfing and used our outdoor shower — thank god for her trust fund, am i right? — but… ruth, i have eyes.’ she looks over to you. ‘you have eyes too, right? like, no offense to sean and david and lee, but… angela is stunning, okay?’

‘she is,’ you grant her, mostly because you’re amused. angela walks over and smiles, gracious and perfect, and you gesture to ava, who gulps. ‘angela, ava. ava, angela.’

‘hello, ava,’ angela says. ‘ruth says that she’s quite fond of you from physical therapy.’

‘yeah,’ ava says, a little stunned. ‘that’s — that’s really kind, ruth.’

‘we don’t invite just anyone to water aerobics. it’s an exclusive club.’

‘other than courtney,’ angela grumbles.

’well, true,’ you admit. ‘but she’s not part of lunch. ava, next week, you should come join us.’

‘i would love that,’ she says. ‘beatrice will too, i’ll make sure of it.’

you laugh, and angela waves to rosa and farha when she sees them. class goes great; ava seems, when you look over at her a few times, to enjoy it a lot. even though you hadn’t really worried that ava would feel out of place, any nagging feelings are assuaged when she gets out of the pool and wraps a towel around her shoulders, carefully moves on the wet floor with a cane.

‘i told bea i’d be home soon,’ she says, ‘and she gets kinda nervous when i’m late. but! i’ll see you at therapy tomorrow, and i’ll definitely plan on lunch next week.’ she hesitates for a moment and then gives you a hug, which fills you with a very particular kind of warmth. ‘thank you, for inviting me.’

‘of course, ava. see you tomorrow.’

/

you see ava at therapy and you think, for the most part, she’s improving: you haven’t seen her wheelchair in months, and she still uses her cane, but you think it’s mostly because it feels safer, especially if she’s sore. you start going once a week but it doesn’t really matter, because she comes to water aerobics in increasingly fun swimsuits, including a purple stripped bikini that makes even angela whistle. ‘oh, to be young again,’ she had said, and ava had blushed.

‘so, how did you meet beatrice?’ margot asks, back from her annual trip to florida.

ava puts down her fork and smiles, so soft. ‘work, in spain. a job i didn’t even want, even. but, even from when we first met, she’s always just been so kind. we spent a sabbatical together, one summer, and that’s when i really fell in love with her.’

‘love at first sight, then?’ angela grins.

‘maybe not quite,’ ava says, then laughs. ‘i was… difficult, back then. obviously, i’m a total angel now.’

you roll your eyes and farha says, ‘oh, sure.’

‘we’ve been through a lot,’ ava says, softer and very sincere. ‘she’s — she’s the best person i know.’

‘well we need to meet her,’ you decide, even though you’ve been meaning to ask them both to shabbat soon anyway. ‘bring her to lunch friday?’

‘if that’s okay with everyone? i guarantee she has exceedingly good manners, much much better than mine.’

‘low bar,’ rosa says.

‘ha ha, very funny.’ ava tries her best not to smile but then does anyway, brighter than the noon sun overhead outside.

/

you’re just sitting down at the table, one extra seat this week, when ava perks up and then stands, steady and even, and you see who you know, from pictures ava has shown you, is beatrice, smiling a little nervously. ‘hi, baby,’ ava says, and beatrice takes ava’s hand and gently places a kiss to her knuckles, like a genuine knight.

‘absurd,’ angela whispers from next to you, and you try not to laugh loud enough for them to hear you, because they’re young but they’re not that young: they have a home together, and you know, from the few things ava has mentioned privately, usually on days that are too, too bright, things have been hard, and they’ve had to spend time apart in the past, and ava is thankful.

‘hello, everyone,’ beatrice says, her accent and posture extremely formal, in contrast to her casual but still, somehow, smart black hoodie and white sweatshorts and birkenstocks. her hair is in a messy bun, a few strands escaping that ava happily pushes behind her ears, and a big tattoo sitting above her left knee; she’s muscular and strong, but there are freckles spread across her cheeks and, when ava smiles at her, she softens, entirely. they are young, and, even though ava has shown you pictures, you’re still struck, in the moment, by how much they fit. 

there’s a chorus of hi, beatrice and it’s so good to meet you and ava talks about you all the time, but beatrice takes it all in stride, a happy little smile on her face. you understand, quickly, that they fit, the same way you and aaron had, so long ago: ava is loud and overwhelmingly bright, enthusiastic and generous with all of her affection, and beatrice is quietly funny, whip smart, and thoughtfully attentive to ava. she turns and listens, fully, to whoever is talking, and knows about rosa’s birding, and the shrine farha talks about in lahore, and the new podcast angela is listening to. she’s impressive, as a person, and ava seems distinctly aware of it, basking, a little, in being chosen by someone so special.

‘sorry i’m underdressed,’ beatrice says after you order. ‘i was surfing this morning, and then had to jump on a work call, and i didn’t want to be late.’

‘everything okay?’ ava checks.

‘yes,’ beatrice says, soothes a hand along ava’s thigh and then squeezes her knee. ‘nothing of concern.’

ava squints. ’were you just asleep? you wouldn’t lie to me, right?’

beatrice pauses. ‘i was — well, catching up on some sleep, when camila called.’

ava barks a laugh. ‘bea is the sleepiest person i know.’

‘sleep is one of the great pleasures of life,’ angela says, regal and finite in her statement, ‘among other things in bed.’ 

beatrice grins while ava blushes. ‘now i know why you like coming to these classes and lunches so much,’ beatrice says, shooting angela a wink. ‘you do have a type.’

‘ah, and what a type it is,’ ava says, sighing for effect, seemingly recovered from her momentary emabrassment.

at the end of lunch, you do invite them to shabbat, and beatrice asks your favorite kind of kosher wine.

/

‘okay, you are all sworn to secrecy,’ ava says, leaning forward at the table. it’s not particularly quiet, because farha’s hearing aides can only do so much, and rosa flat out refuses to wear any, but there’s no on important around you anyway.

‘wonderful,’ angela says.

‘i love a secret,’ you agree.

‘well.’ ava lets out a big breath. ‘beatrice and i are going to switzerland, next week, to the alps, where we spent our first summer together, and i —‘ she shakes her head — ‘this feels so crazy, but i’m going to propose.’

it sends the whole table into a flurry of excitement, asking about ava’s plan — a hike, the one they would go on every tuesday together, slowly and for fun — and the ring ava had picked out — beautiful, and elegant, and perfect, you think — and, ‘do you think she’ll say yes?’

ava gulps. ‘i know she wants to spend her life with me.’ she sounds sure, and calm, despite her fingers nervously fidgeting with her napkin. ‘she was… very religious, for a long time, so, like, she’s always been really accepting of other same sex marriages, but i think it’s taken her a minute to get her to feel ready for, like, our own very queer marriage. sacrament, and all that, i guess.’ she shakes her head. ‘but anyway, yes! i think she’s ready. i think she really wants to get married.’

her smile is gentle, serene, and you had watched beatrice — in neat linen, her hair long and swept over her shoulder, fight her way through eating multiple bites of gefilte fish last friday, even though it was clear she hated it, and say prayers in hebrew, quietly. ava had been in her chair; you hadn’t asked, and neither had anyone from shul or your family, but beatrice had made sure that she had everything she needed, unobtrusive and practiced. ava had been, unexpectedly, the life of the party, charming everyone with her laugh and her silly puns and a very spirited debate with your granddaughter about women’s soccer. they’re a pair, you understood, very clearly: at the end of the night, ava had encouraged beatrice, gently, to take extra kugel along with the challah and chicken you’d already put in tupperware for them; beatrice had gotten their sweaters from the closet and handed ava’s to hers with a kiss to her forehead, tender and private, a moment that had belonged just to them.

‘we’ll all be eagerly awaiting the engagement photographs,’ angela says with sure gravitas.

‘post them on facebook,’ you tell her, and ava laughs, but she promises, later, when you give her a hug, that she will.

/

‘thank you, for inviting us,’ you tell ava, a bit in awe, if you’re being honest, of their house. she bounces around happily, and angela just looks at you with a raised brow for a moment. there are bright red and gold decorations everywhere, and beatrice walks over with a neat bun and beautiful jacket, embroidered so elegantly even angela seems a little in love with it.

’happy new year,’ she says, and you both give her a hug as you return the sentiment, then shows you to their kitchen, with a spread of chinese food that smell so, so good, and then gestures out to the open-air doors and patio that overlooks the ocean. ‘help yourselves to whatever you want. ruth, there are plenty of dishes that i made sure meet all kosher standards; they should be labeled. and there’s plenty of seating, and come find me if you need anything.’ she pauses. ‘or ava, but she gets a little… activated when we have a lot of people over.’

‘so, did we know how rich they were?’ angela says, loading her plate with everything she can after beatrice walks away to greet more guests.

‘not this rich.’

you both wait a beat and then laugh, and you find seats by the railing; your hip doesn’t hurt at all anymore. ava finds you both eventually and steals an egg roll from your plate with a laugh. ‘i’ll get you another one,’ she promises. ‘and, i just wanted to say, thanks for being my friends. i know it’s silly, but the water aerobics have really helped me feel better — and much less bored — when my mobility has been limited. and i love hearing about your lives, and sharing mine. i just —’ she scrubs her hand along the back of her neck, her hair neatly trimmed to her chin, fluttering in the breeze. ‘i went a long time without great role models.’

it’s so sincere and so touching. angela sniffles and you fish a hanky from your purse and hand it to her; she dabs her eyes.

‘don���t call us old,’ she says, voice breaking, and ava laughs.

‘i could’ve called you my adoptive grandmothers, so count your blessings.’

you roll your eyes when she takes a big, smiling bite of her (your) egg roll. ‘you are a blessing,’ you tell her.

ava swallows her bite and then leans to hug you, tight and sincere. ‘thank you,’ she whispers.

‘happy new year, ava.’

‘yeah,’ she says, a little teary but with a huge smile. ‘happy new year.’

[all-might-can-smash-me]

Dad/Family headconons

Masterlist

Aizawa, Taishiro, Toshinori, Sir Nighteye, and Hawks

Aizawa Shouta/Eraserhead

Despite him being that kind of nonchalant, I don’t give a shit about anything kind of person.....he’s a family guy

Loves kids

He just wants you to have a huge army of kids following alongside you hand in hand to visit him at work.

Looks forward to being able to relate to someone else with his quirk

Doesn’t care if they are all girls, all boys, a mixture of both, or even fostering or adopting, he’s for everything

Was kind of afraid to open up about that side of himself when you two got married, but you are all for it too

Feels that he can handle it with your help thanks to having some experience with dealing with his students

Is slapped in the face with shock when you two have your first 2 or 3 kids because infants are, you guessed it, nothing like teens who are all emotional about becoming a prohero

Guess he would be prepared for whenever they would get to their teenage years

Except for periods because he didn’t know anything about them but he’ll probably take the time to learn about it from you

Still happy over his growing army though

Still loves the chaos of it all, plus it’s good to have Aizawa to control their quirks when they start to develop

The chaos also reminds him of his own time in school with his few friends he had....they were always so vibrant and loud unlike him and he kind of envied it (secretly)

Yamada and Kayama (Present Mic and Midnight) loves to visit his little army and spoil them with toys and snacks even if Aizawa disapproved of it

You helped hand out the toys and snacks.....Aizawa could suck it up

Napping piles are normal in this household, so don’t be freaked when you see all of your children curled up or around Aizawa under a pillow fort in the living room.

It breaks his heart everytime though when his kids beg to take a stray cat home and he has to say no....but he’ll end up going back on patrol to feed it and then probably cave in and bring it home anyway

He’ll just shrug off his children’s accusations of him being a ‘hypocrite’ for saying no to their pleas earlier and say something like ‘Well I said you couldn’t do it, nothing about me though’

The tea parties are lit and he’ll crush anyone at a video game

Taishiro Toyomistu/Fatgum

Really never thought about having his own kids until meeting Kirishima and Tamaki

Life was changed FOREVER since meeting them, now he would like to have his own family

It was kind of confusing to finally have the talk of having kids a couple of years into your marriage, but your views on having kids were changed too after meeting the two UA students

He let you on thinking just one or two kids were great, but you didn’t know if you should have been surprised that you were in the hospital room pushing out your 5th child

It was kind of funny to see Taishiro freaking out even if it was his 5th time next to you in labor

Your kids were so use to it they just sat out in the hallway doing their schoolwork or playing games on their iPads as Kirishima and Tamaki watched over them (your labor would always catch them while they were out on patrol)

I picture that all his kids are girls

He uses the excuse “just one more kid, maybe this time it’ll be a boy”, It’s NEVER a boy

I feel that he’s the dad to sneak home McDonald’s fries or ice cream to his kids despite you not liking it

Will take the blame when you catch one of your daughters munching on fries on the way back to her room (daughters will also try to take the blame, but how the heck could girls 13 and younger sneak out all the way to McDonalds)

He’ll also get all his daughters together to bake a cake and also decorate it. The creativity shown by his daughters will always amaze him.

He and his daughters would even clean up the kitchen together...mostly so that you wouldn’t get mad upon seeing the kitchen as a disaster

Gets way into watching Barbie’s Life in the Dream House and secretly really loves our queen Raquelle

All Might/Toshinori Yagi

Just wants one little girl

To spoil her ROTTEN!

Seeing his friend David Sheild’s daughter Melissa grow up and look so happy always made him envious. Young Midoriya also played a huge role in his desire for at least one kid

One child was enough for the two of you and thankfully your first and only child was a girl

Gran Torino will also spoil her rotten along with Sir Nighteye

Will not be embarrassed to be caught sprawled out on the ground with your daughter playing with dolls

He’s actually quite proud of the fact that he doesn’t mind getting down and dirty when it comes to playing with ‘girly’ things with his young daughter unlike other dads

Loves to play Studio Ghibli movies for your daughter.....but Yagi is way more into it

I say this because Toshinori will try to hide his tears while watching My Neighbor Totoro as your daughter is fast asleep on his lap.

He will also sneak in a rated pg-13 hero movie from the United States in when your gone too....and then he’ll act surprise when your daughter would repeat the fowl language she heard in the movie

He would and WILL spend hours on YouTube to learn how to braid hair and put bows in and ribbons

He would bring her to work a lot too to see class 1A in action

Daughter will forever be his ‘baby’, so he HATES the thought of her starting to date and get married.

So when she admitted that the boy ‘Todoroki’ in his class was handsome while heading home one day from his work, he swore off boys....

He wasn’t surprised though, she was always managing to get Todoroki to hold her hand while Toshinori would have class 1A doing scenarios in teams and showing off her hair to him and asking if he noticed anything different.

Todoroki is a good sport, he held her hand and always complimented her hair...

Yeah she was mad at Toshinori and you made him unswear off boys, especially Todoroki

Brings your daughter to work just to brag about how he did her hair to EVERYONE

Mirai Sasaki/Sir Nighteye

Eh....he didn’t want kids, never had the desire tbh

Though something about UA students’ charming personalities making these heroes want families. Mirio got him thinking one kid couldn’t be so bad

You were shocked when he asked to have a kid, but you agreed....after discussing it for awhile to make sure he wanted this

I picture him having one cute, little shy boy

Like the cute little boy with glasses who wears those cute shorts with a bug related shirt that just wants to search for roly-poly in the dirt and grass in the back yard

Very quiet and a bit shy around new people, but is literally the most polite little boy in the WORLD

Nighteye will use his quirk on his son when out looking for bugs to just see if he missed something in the grass or dirt, but that’s as far as he’ll use it

The reason why Nighteye thinks he’s so funny is because your son (and you of course along with mirio) are the only ones who laugh at his jokes, especially your son

Your son finds ANYTHING his dad says or does hilarious. His dad made a gasp of excitement along side his son upon finding a millipede? Instant laughter will follow

Those bouts of laughter from his son is the best feeling in the world to him

Tried to make your son an expert on All Might, but gave up when he came to his conclusion that your son just wasn’t into it.

It was kind of weird at first to find out his son was just simply NOT into heroes, but now he just loves the fact that his son likes what he likes and doesn’t let himself get swayed by others, even his own mom and dad

If you can’t make his little boy, his pride and joy, laugh? Sorry, but don’t talk to Nighteye or his son ever again

He will sit and listen to his little boy go on and on and on and ON about anything and never get bored (or show it). He will sit and listen intently about the cool facts about the bug he found or a plant.

He’d even listen to the longest explanation about a tiny little squiggle on a piece of paper that he drew on if it was being told by his little boy.

Will even put a meeting on hold just to answer a FaceTime from his son from your phone just to listen to him talk about a leaf he made a pressing of....and will sit there with the volume all the way up on his phone too so the others in the room can hear as well.

Will spend all night pinning bugs to a board to frame and label just for your son

Keigo Takami/Hawks

He didn’t even want to date tbh

Though when he met you? The cliche ‘love at first sight’ happened and soon the two of you were married pretty quickly and boy was he a happy man

He didn’t really even want kids either. He just didn’t want to have kids and somehow they end up with a childhood like his that’s not the greatest or most normal, plus he was happy with the little domestic life with you.

But then IT happened. You know, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much and poof, a baby? Yeah....

He was TERRIFIED, but once your first child came into the world, a new sense of happiness sparked within him, like his own eyes opened for the first time to the world

This happened twice more, ending up with his happy family consisting of you, his two boys, and his little girl.

He’s the kind of dad to have his wallet FILLED with pictures of his kids and you. He will shamelessly show them off to fans while on patrol and also to Endeavor....even if he’s seen them a trillion times. Also his office is filled with framed pictures too

He also gets in trouble a lot along with his two boys for playing to rough and loudly within the house by you, especially for flying and being too competitive with video games and ANY activity he would take part in with them.

What can he say? His sons were like the best friends he was never able to have as a kid, he wanted to take in the beauties of having an energetic family

He doesn’t play favorites, but when it comes to his little girl? Sometimes he’ll catch a feeling of her feeling like she’s the odd one out when it comes to her two older brothers and he can relate to that feeling.

So he’ll set aside some dad and daughter time to do the things she likes, like read, color, and draw

He would even let her do his hair with tiny braids and color pieces of clip in hair and many butterfly clips. Keigo would also then wear it out proudly on patrol and check his reflection MULTIPLE times to make sure everything was in place.

He would then shout to the press and paparazzi that his daughter did his hair, showing it off in the process

When the picture would come out with the headliner ‘Hawks’ New Look Thanks to Daughter’ for the news the next day, the look of pride and awe on your daughters face upon looking at the front cover of the magazines and newspapers at the store you and his family would shop at would absolutely melt his heart melt

He’s the first one to pull back the covers to let his children climb in when scared by a thunderstorm or the spooky shadow in their room even if they may be getting ‘too old’ to be doing that...according to Endeavor however, so that information might be wrong

Bribes his kids not to tell you that he entered the house through the window and not the front door

[killiansprincss]

Could This Be Us?

This is my work for @csjanuaryjoy​ this is my first year taking part and I’m excited to share with you all! I’ve made it my goal to write more this year and this seemed like the best way to do that goal! This is just a cute fluff missing scene that I hope brings you joy!

Also on A03

Summary: set in the few weeks before 4b when everything was clam, Emma and Killian agree to babysit Neal and Emma slowly begins to let down her walls and Killian becomes vulnerable. Pure fluff. Babysitting adventures.

___

Emma was happy. The Snow Queen was gone and Gold was banished to the real world. There was nothing and nobody that could hurt them anymore. They could begin their normal life, well as normal as a town filled with fairytale characters could be. Her parents were Snow White and Prince Charming and her boyfriend was Captain Hook, so it was a little crazy, but for the first time in her life, Emma was truly happy.

She goes downstairs to see her parents cooing over her baby brother. Again, still weird that she was 30 and the same age as her parents, and had a newborn baby brother. Even weirder that he was named after her dead ex boyfriend, but his death did allow them to defeat Zelena. And she couldn’t tell them the horrible things Neal did to her, it would only ruin their sense of hope and belief that everyone could be a hero.

“Morning Kid, want me to drive you to school?” Emma asks her son, as she pours her coffee.

Henry spent 4 days at the Apartment Lot with Emma and his grandparents, and the other 3 days at Regina’s. It was their best attempt at normality, and Henry seemed to like spending time with David, dropping not so subtle hints that he wanted to take up sword fighting lessons.

“It’s okay Mom. I think I’ll walk, Ivy is meeting me early as we’ve got our science project due today so we need to go over everything.” He tells her. He was getting pretty friendly to this Ivy girl, Emma was sure he had his first crush, but wouldn’t say anything in case she ruined anything.

Checking the time and realises she’s late, she takes a final sip of her coffee before saying, “I’ve gotta go. Killian’s helping out at the station today and I’m meeting him at Granny’s for breakfast.” It had become a weekly tradition to meet Killian for breakfast, she was getting him to try everything on the menu, and this week was Pancakes with bacon and maple syrup.

“Wait, Emma before you leave.” David says, picking up Neal from his crib. “We wanted to know if you and Hook would babysit tonight. We haven’t had a night to ourselves in a while.”

Emma smiles, “We would love to. And since when do you approve of Hook babysitting? Does this mean you like him now?”

David rolls his eyes, but can’t stop the smile from his face. Truth is he was warming to the fact that a pirate was dating his daughter, he was a good guy, he cared for Emma and he was proving day by day that he wasn’t the man he was years ago. “He’s still a pirate dating my daughter, so he’s under careful supervision. But if he makes you happy I’m not standing in your way.”

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

“Morning love.” Killian waits for Emma outside the lot, which he really didn’t have to do seeing as he lives in the room he rents at Granny’s.

She gives him a quick kiss, and takes his hand as they start walking. “So my parents have asked us to babysit my brother tonight. I told them we would, I hope that’s okay.”

Killian gives Emma a worried look. “Just so you know Swan, I know nothing about babies, I’m not so sure how helpful I can be.”

Emma smiles at her boyfriend, he could’ve easily said no, but he didn’t. “That’s okay. I didn’t raise Henry, I also don’t know the first thing about babies, so it’ll be an adventure for both of us.”

Killian was so lucky. He truly was the luckiest man in the universe. He never imagined Emma would be with him in the way that she is. He also never imagine he would help look after her baby brother with her. If Liam could see him now, he hoped he would be proud.

They walk into Granny’s hand and hand and sit down in the booth. Emma orders them both Pancakes with bacon and maple syrup, and waits patiently to see what he thinks of them. She shows him that he has to cut into the fluffy circle stack and pour the syrup all over them, the more syrup the better.

His eyes go wide as he chews and realises it’s delicious. “It’s so sweet. This is breakfast food?”

Emma laughs as she digs into her plate. “Oh yeah it’s breakfast all right. I don’t know what you eat for breakfast in the Enchanted Forest but we have many sweet options in this world.”

“Much better than the things I was eating whilst at sea.” He says as he pours even more syrup onto the pancakes.

“And what was that, Rum and more Rum?” She teases as she takes a bite off her plate.

“Ha-Ha Swan. Contrary to your belief, I did eat actual food as a pirate. Not nearly as sweet as this though, it consisted of dried fruits and nuts, then once we docked into port, we were able to have bread and other fresh pastry delicacies.” He chooses to leave out that in Neverland his diet did consist mainly of Rum and non poisonous fruit from the Island.

Emma smiles. This is what happiness looks like. Watching her pirate boyfriend eating Pancakes for the first time. She could get used to it.

/\/\/\/\/\/\

That night, Killian comes over around 6. Her parents had decided to go to a restaurant in town that wasn’t Granny’s, but after constant reminding that Emma had their number to call should anything go wrong. Not that it would. Hopefully.

Emma’s donned her leather jacket for some comfy clothes, leggings and an oversized hoodie, hair in a messy bun. Not her usual sheriff, or saviour look. Killian however is still in his modern leather jacket and jeans, not quite understanding that babysitting would be much easier in comfy clothes.

“Here, put these on.” She tosses him a pair of David’s clothes, sweatpants and a grey t-shirt, hopefully her dad won’t mind, he did say he was liking Hook more and more every day.

“Swan, the clothes in your world are utterly ridiculous.” He says as comes out of the bathroom, looking a lot less like a pirate, and more like a man.

Emma smiles, she had to say he looked good in sweatpants. “Trust me if Neal pukes all over you, it’s a lot easier to get it out of an old t shirt that it would out of leather.”

Killian looked vulnerable. For the first time really. She’d seen him in a lot less clothing before, but she never noticed how vulnerable it makes him look. Underneath all the leather, was a man who had been broken before.

He looks down at his Hook, “do you want me to take this off?”

Emma immediately tells him no. “I don’t see why you should. It’s a part of you, and he’s gonna have to get used to it.”

Killian smiles, the little prince will have to get used to it. Because he’s not going anywhere, he’s sticking around. He will never leave Emma like all those before.

“So where is the Little Prince then?” He asks.

Emma leads him over to the crib in the corner of the room, “Do you want to hold him?”

Emma trusts him. Wholeheartedly. So he agrees to hold the baby.

Neal fusses at first in Killians arms, but he fusses with everyone. He just needs to get used to it.

“Am I doing it okay Swan?” Killian asks as he fusses, but he isn't crying which is a good thing.

“You're doing great.” Emma smiles at him. This was a rare sight, Captain Hook in sweatpants holding a baby. Emma was getting butterflies in her stomach looking at it. She and Killian had been together for a few months now but she could already see a future with him. Being with him was so different than it ever was with Neal, even Walsh, despite it being all fake, was so different to Killian. He never tried to shower her with gifts or presents or big romantic gestures like Walsh. Killian was just there, by her side. And that's all she wanted.

“I think the Little Prince likes me.” Kilian beams as Neal starts laughing at the faces Killian was pulling.

It was scary. Emma was sure she was in love with him. She just couldn’t bring herself to say the words out loud. Because as soon as she said them, things would change between them and it would become real. When she told Neal she loved him, he left her. Killian wouldn't leave, she knows that. But it still scares her.

“Oh no. No. Swan. What’s happening, why is the little lad crying?” Killian asks frantically, starting to panic that he was doing something wrong.

“He’s hungry,” Emma tells him, grabbing his bottle from the counter. “This should be warm enough by now.”

Killian takes the bottle and gets Neal to drink.

“You gotta make sure you’re holding his head, it’s sensitive at this age.” Emma says making his arm support her brother's head.

“You’re good at this you know.” He says as she helps him. “How is it you know all this?”

“Just watching my mom do it really. Also, my cursed memories of me raising Henry. Even though it didn’t happen, I remember learning everything from the books. I remember staying up all night when he cried, and learning how to be a mother at barely 18.” She decided to confide in him, she’s never told anyone about her cursed memories, or about her time in prison, but she feels like she can confide in him, tell him anything without being judged.

“I was 17 when I gave birth, cursed or not, I turned 18 a month later and a few weeks after that I was released from prison. It wasn’t my finest moment, but in my cursed memories I had Henry to keep me going. When I woke up and got my memories back, it made me wish I never gave him up. Because those 12 years were the best 12 years of my life.”

It feels good to open up. She’s letting him in slowly, but it feels nice. He doesn’t pry, he doesn’t ask too many questions, he just listens to her.

“After our father abandoned us, Liam practically raised me. I felt empty and hurt, but Liam, he was there even in my darkest days. The best years of my life was when we were in the Navy together, before it all went wrong.”

They were two halves of the same coin, both abandoned and lost everyone they ever cared about. But together they were healing, both themselves and each other.

“I think he likes you!” Emma says wiping her tears away as Neal becomes fascinated with Killian's Hook.

Killian looks down at the little prince in his arms to see him trying to grab his Hook with his tiny little fingers. “Everyone likes me Swan. I’m not surprised your brother does too.”

“I didn’t like you at first.” Emma teases.

“Aye but my charming wits and looks won you over eventually.” He teases back, causing the smile that he loves to see.

It would be so easy in this moment to say the three words. Killian knew it the moment she kissed him back in Neverland, and in the missing year he realised how much he loved her when he thought he’d never see her again. But he knows better. If he said the words right now, it would cause a rift, and maybe cause her to run. So he doesn’t, he will wait for her to say the words first. He’ll wait forever to hear her say it, it doesn’t matter. As long as they’re together.

“I think I’m getting the hang of it Swan!” He speaks too soon as he begins to rock the little prince to sleep, he decides to bring up the contents of his tiny stomach all over Killian.

Emma tries not to laugh, but she can’t help it as laughter fills the lot.

She takes Neal from Killian so he can clean the sick off his shirt, “told you this would be a better idea, imagine trying to get that off your leather vest. There's another one of David shirts on top of the dryer, you can put the dirty shirt in the basket with the other dirty laundry.”

Looking after her baby brother with her 300 year old boyfriend is honestly not even the weirdest thing about her life at the moment. But it’s something that she never thought she would be doing, she was 17 when she gave Henry up and she thought she would never want kids, or even be ready after that. But just seeing how good Killian was with her brother, it got her thinking could she want this life? It wasn’t off the table. A baby with her hair and Killians eyes. Maybe one day.

___

“He won’t stop crying. Why won’t he stop crying?” Emma cries. They had been trying to settle him for almost an hour now and she’s getting tired. If this was a recurring thing then maybe having a baby of her own wasn’t something she wanted. Especially as it was barely 8.30.

“What else can we try?” Killian asks with Neal in his arms trying to send him to sleep by rocking him slowly.

“I don’t suppose you know a lullaby?” Emma asks, half joking, not really expecting him to.

Except he starts to sing, or hum a melody. It’s quiet enough that she can’t hear the lyrics properly, but Neal seems to like it. So much so that it stirs him off to sleep.

Emma’s really impressed. “That doesn’t sound like a sea shanty. Since when does Captain Hook know a lullaby?”

“My mother used to sing it to me and Liam. Before she died that is.” He tells her, putting Neal down slowly into his crib.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don't be, love. It was a long time ago.”

“Can you tell me about her?” She asks.

“I was 5 when she died, Liam was 8. I don’t remember much about her, Liam probably remembers more. But I know she was tough, she wouldn’t have taken my fathers bullshit. She used to sing that to Liam and I every night before we went to sleep. I sang it to myself sometimes on the Jolly in Neverland after Liam died. It comforted me.” He brushes it off as if it’s nothing, similar to how Emma talks about her past. She takes his hand and interweines their fingers as she leads them back to the couch.

“I like hearing stories about your past. About your pre-pirate days. Reminds me you weren’t always cursed.”

She wraps her fingers around his Hook, she’s never been afraid of it. Or afraid of the man attached to the Hook. She can’t help but imagine one day a baby with her hair and his eyes fiddling with his Hook the way her brother did tonight. And that’s scary.

Emma has a way of seeing the good in him, despite his cruel actions she sees beyond it, sees the pain it’s caused him in the past few years as he attempts to better himself. “I certainly was cursed with bad luck but sadly my actions were of my own accord. But I’ll tell you one story of the time Liam and I got caught in a storm at sea. Liam was a Lieutenant at that point and wanted to prove he could handle it, the stubborn arse.”

And so he tells her stories of his time in the Navy. He tells her anything she wants to hear, and he realises this is the first time anyone has really asked about Liam, or his past. The women he spent the night with back in the Enchanted Forest, well they never did much talking. And with Milah, she was focused on forgetting her past so didn’t care much to ask about his.

“I wish you could’ve met him. He would’ve loved you.” It’s nice, speaking about Liam, telling her the stories he hasn’t really ever told anyone-or thought about in centuries.

Snow and Charming return a few hours later, to find their daughter and Hook asleep on the couch, Emma’s head resting on the Pirates chest. Snow smiles at the sight, and even David isn’t appalled at the sight either, appreciating that his daughter is happy. Snow grabs a blanket and covers the two of them.

“Is that my shirt?” David whisper screams at his wife seeing the pirate wearing his clothes.

[ziracona]

Please don't take this as offensive (im sorry if i come across that way, i hope not) but i really wouldn't take someone like Yourself to be a Fates fan. Fates and Fgo just tends to be filled with a lot of uh, Problems? For a lack of better words? The fandom and the content is just really REALLY weird to me. There's also like a ton of shows(games?), so im starting to wonder if I just started off on the wrong foot? Am i missing something?

​I am a being of many interests. Lol, you’re good though. I very much get it.

Fate is...a weird mix? I don’t even think I can call myself a proper ‘Fate fan,’ because while I collect secondhand info like a lint roller takes lint, I’ve barely experienced any of even just the shows (which is an intentional choice). You are actually correct both times; it is both games and shows. And more. It started as a multi-path lite novel, which got adapted into anime, and more. There’s the big shows, which mostly connect to the original novel, plus a bunch of stories set in that expanded universe, in show game and more formats. I have no idea what you started on, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was bad, because Fate tends to be a roulette wheel. Basically, the short version is that the reason for this is Fate swaps out like their whole creative team for every show and game and thing, and every fuckin /arc/ of Fate Go, so the quality will vary from “Huh. That was...something” to “Oh my god that was a waste of so many hours wtf that was /god/awful” to “oh worm??! This is kinda fun” to “i-is this a spiritual experience?”

So they’re all kind of connected but also not really? I can’t think of a good thing to liken it to, because it’s a weird way to do something, but even many stories with the exact same characters are written or adapted by completely different teams, so they’re kind of all connected in name more than anything else? It’s very much a consume and take or leave only specifically what you want kind of thing.

I can’t speak to the fandom because I’m not really...in it? And have only ever gone into the tags for gifs. But I would not be surprised if a lot of the most vocal ones are terrifying. It seems like that’s often the case in many fandoms regrettably.

Tbh I can’t honestly speak to most Fate media. The only game I have played is Go, the little gatcha phone game. Honestly, anybody who played/plays Fate Go too and wants to roast me for it has free rein. It’s ridiculous, and goofy, and often stupid, sometimes straight up terrible, but also sometimes kind of fantastic. Florence Nightengale tried to chop off all my limbs when she met me and beat a president up to ‘fix’ him. King David pulled the sickest tactical finess in the history of warfare. The game made fun of everyone who takes shipping too seriously and roasted them all in an event which gave me great screenshots for future use:

It’s a super mixed bag, which is sometimes actually fantastic, and sometimes so bad that I am like “I...want to commit assault against whoever just did the art alone.” But I just kind of skip the downticks and stick around for arcs that get the good writers. It’s goofy, but some of it has made me genuinely happy, and that’s extremely valuable to me right now. (On a good arc) It’s like, the right mesh of funny and serious and goofy and low key but clever for me to get really into but in like consistently a light and non-stressful way.

The only anime I have actually watched is Unlimited Blade Works, which I thought was phenomenal and it wrecked me as a human being. It’s also very beautiful and has some of the best animated fight scenes in anything I have seen ever, and I would wholeheartedly recommend it. I can’t speak to any of the others. And I don’t want to watch any of the other OG paths and no one can make me. But UBW lives rent free in my soul. I mean:

If you were a normal human being, you will probably watch this and go “Some of that was confusing, but it was pretty neat. 8/10 stars.” If you wanted to sincerely be a superhero as a kid or god forbid are like me and still haven’t entirely given up on that dream deep down, it’ll be a 13/10 but it will also crush your soul and leave it in little glass shards. Worth it tho. 13/10, would rewatch a 5th time.

Anyway there was your long and unnecessary breakdown of me and fate. The TLDR is I’m actually just the “I have approximate knowledge of many things” guy from Adventure Time and know very little comprehensively. Go is stupid, but the times it’s great are worth the times I want to die to me personally, as a phone game. And UBW is high art and it hurt me in a way that was worthwhile because it made me feel truly heard even if in a painful way by at least one other person. And also it’s just kind of a killer of a story.

[argeriant18]

Magic Changes

So "Magic Changes" is a story about two people who gets to fall in love at the right place but a wrong time.

Probably set in the present time (2019) though I don't think it's evident. Hehe sorry about that. I haven't really made up the whole of this, I'm just making things as I go.

But the thing is girl from an all girls school falls in love with guy from an all guys school during a Grease play that involved the collaboration of the two schools. They kinda develop feelings but they didn't confess since they were going to face college in a few months and they don't think their relationship would work out.

And that's it for now!

The genre would be,bI guess, a romance.

I'm not quite sure about the theme, but I think it's about: "Love will find you in the right time. And love will always come back to you whether if it'll be romantic love or as a friend. Love will always come."

There's not much warning here. Unless you count Grease.

The main characters are Kristy Brewer and Sam Martin.

Kristy like like a bit of a half Asian (Chinese, preferably). She has long lack hair but she happens to have bright blue eyes. I like to use Momo Hirai from TWICE as a base even if she doesn't have blue eyes.

I really didn't have a description for Sam but he's supposed to look like Danny Zuko later in the story so I guess black or brown hair. He's tall, probably. He's a bit like an opposite of Danny, cause Sam is like a Peter Parker kind of person. And since he's got a Peter Parker kind of persona, I use Tom Holland as visual reference.

I haven't really posted anything about this. But I've done 3 chapters already, I'm working on the 4th.

Beauregarde Academy is for the girls.

Stoneybrook Academy is for the boys.

Chapter 1 is a little introduction of what is up, a little explanation of what is around. Like Kristy waking up, introduction of some characters (her friends), announcement about a September Festival, a little side story about one of her friend's messy break up, some talks during dinner then sleep.

Chapter 2 is already set in Septermber. It's a weekend, everyone's talking about preparation for the festival and a meeting with some students from Stoneybrook Academy. While that's happening, Kristy joins a beach outing nearby the school with one of her friends (Nicky). She gets pushed by one of her friends (John) off the pier as a joke but it almost costs her her own life. That's where Sam comes in and saves her. When she got back to the Academy, her little sister (Sunny) bursts in her dorm to see if she's okay and the news about the incident spread like wild fire. She and her friends discuss about the incident and what she's gonna do with John. Kristy says she'll forgive him and her words haunt her as she went to bed.

Chapter 3 is about John going to Beauregarde to ask Kristy for forgiveness. That's it, mostly. More preparations for the festival, a few more dinner talks then it's lights out.

There are a lot of extra characters here. Some of the characters already paired up. They don't really have much description yet since I'm still working them out.

Here's some of the characters though:

Brewer Family consists (this is arranged from oldest to youngest) of Milton, Kristy, Sunny and Scott.

Kristy's friends (Girls) are:

Mallory Ramsey (Everyone ships her with Andrew.)

Nicky Gray (She's in a relationship with Alan.)

Helen Thomas (She's in a relationship with Byron.)

Shannon Newton (She's in a relationship with Adam.)

Claudia Harvey (She's in a relationship with Michael.)

Ann Pike (Has a crush on Gabbie.)

Nancy Prezzioso (Has a bad relationship with her ex, Kirke.)

Eve Irving

Edna Enright

Elizabeth du Maurier

The Staff of Beauregarde:

Delphine Agnew

Enid Lovell (the Principal)

The Guys at Stoneybrook Academy:

Andrew Robinson (Everyone ships him with Mallory.)

Alan Kishi (Nicky and him are in a relationship.)

Byron Spier (He's in a relation with Helen.)

Adam McGill (He's in a relationship with Shannon.)

Michael Schafer (He's in a relationship with Claudia.)

Jessi Kilbourne

Jeff Spark

John Flyte

Jerry Henry

Gabbie Drew (Has a crush on Ann.)

Kirke Bruno (Has a bad relationship with his ex, Nancy.)

Stoneybrook Academy Staff:

Philip Ketterley

David Johanssen

Anyway, thanks for reading! Hope you like it! And I'm always up for asks so ask away! Or comments! I accept anything! Hahahahah! See ya! And thanks! 😁✌️ Hope you all have a good day!

[initiala]

Shelter from the Storm (1/1)

MERRY CHRISTMAS @jennifer-morrison!!!!!!! I was your CS Secret Santa, it was so nice to get to know you!! You have such a sweet pup and it was really fun to get to know someone who loves doing Secret Santa as much as I do.

I hope you like this, there’s bedsharing and making out and I have worried myself into a tizzy over characterization.

There’s no possible good answer to give to Mary Margaret’s question about the temperature when she comes home that afternoon. Oh, Emma’s tried to think of one all day, but really all it boils down to is--

“We forgot to pay the gas bill and they’re closed until Tuesday unless it’s an emergency and yes, I know, I tried to tell them it’s fucking Christmas and December in Maine, but it’s not a blizzard and neither one of us is old and at risk of dying of hypothermia so they basically told me to pay the bill tonight and it’ll get turned on again on Tuesday and ‘get fucked’ was kind of implied in the woman’s tone, but I kind of deserved it because--”

“Emma.” Mary Margaret’s got her ‘teacher voice’ on, which is really intimidating to the ten-year old living in Emma’s brain most days. “Back up, slow down.” She drops her bags on the loveseat near the door and doesn’t take off her peacoat or hat, which is probably the smart thing to do since their apartment is, after all, without heat for the foreseeable future. “When did we forget to pay the gas bill?”

Emma bites her lip and fidgets a little under the responsible stare of Mary Margaret Blanchard, woman of top-buttoned cardigans and color-coded schedules, voted Preferred Designated Driver three years running by their friends, rare rule-breaker, and master of ‘I’m not mad I’m just disappointed’ looks. “Um. September. And October. And last month.”

“Emma--”

“Look, I know utilities are my responsibility--”

“Emma,” Mary Margaret says, louder this time. “Okay. Did you pay the bill?”

“Yes.”

“Even the overdue fees?”

“Yes.”

“And they’ll switch it on again on Tuesday?”

“Barring any weather emergencies, yes.”

Mary Margaret is quiet for a long moment, then scuffs her shoes on the welcome mat briefly before heading for her room. “Okay.”

Emma twists in the chair to watch her fling back the curtain dividing her sleeping area from the living space of the loft. “Okay? That’s it?”

Mary Margaret glances at her before ducking to retrieve a bag from under the bed. “You screwed up, you admitted to it, you took care of it. Being mad isn’t going to help.”

“You’re never mad, you’re--”

“I’m disappointed, but it happens, Emma,” Mary Margaret says, opening her wardrobe.

Emma squints at her best friend, watching as she removes a few items of clothing and puts them in the bag. “You’re being really reasonable about...” She cuts herself off with a gasp when a drawer is opened. “Mary Margaret Blanchard, you scheming little--you’re going to David’s!”

“What?” Mary Margaret slams her underwear drawer closed, her cheeks pink. “No!”

Emma grins. She knows for a fact that, despite having gone on more than three dates, Mary Margaret and her new boyfriend have yet to spend the night together. (They haven’t used the words yet, but really, the way that David looks at Mary Margaret makes Emma surprised that he didn’t pop the question on date two.) Someone had mentioned something about throwing off the weight of expectations and letting it happen naturally.

Well, naturally, Emma had forgotten to pay all of their utilities on time, so the time for letting it happen is apparently now.

“That’s your good underwear drawer,” she says, getting up and trying not to look too smug about the whole thing. “Because you’re an anal retentive freak who of course has a good underwear drawer and a period-panty drawer, and I say that with all the love in my heart--ow!” Emma laughs as Mary Margaret smacks her on the arm, the pink on her cheeks spreading up towards her ears. “So what was the plan going to be, appear on his doorstep with a bag and big sad puppy eyes and a story about how I’m the worst roommate in the world?”

Mary Margaret rolls her eyes and yanks open the drawer again -- the good underwear drawer, thank you very much -- digging out some lacy things that toe the line between racy and tasteful. “Well, first of all you aren’t the worst roommate in the world. You haven’t flooded the place or burned it down.”

“Your roommate freshman year does not get to set the standards for the rest of your life.”

“Oh, she does,” she says, irritation clearly written on her face at the memory. She shakes her head. “Forgetting to pay bills happens, and it’s not like we aren’t used to things getting cut off.”

Emma has to admit the truth in that. She and Mary Margaret have spent more than one night with candles and flashlights as their only light sources, or splitting a box of mac and cheese for dinner… every night in a week. Only in the last year has Mary Margaret upgraded from substituting to teaching full-time, and while bail-jumpers still aren’t as common as Emma would like, she’s still on the payroll down at Booth Bonds and August makes sure she’s taken care of (even if he is kind of an ass about health insurance) in between the bonuses she gets from catching a dirtbag. So maybe she’s gotten used to having things consistent, like actual vegetables to go with their mac and cheese diets, or the power only going out during a nor’easter, and forgotten how it wasn’t that long ago when this was an every-other-month kind of thing.

“And if it gives you an excuse to get laid…” Emma grins as Mary Margaret reaches to smack her again, skipping out of the way. “Look, more blankets for me and I get to hog the space heater. It’s fine, go use your boyfriend. In every sense of the word.”

Her friend looks aghast. “You’re staying here?”

“Where else am I supposed to go? I am definitely not sleeping on David’s couch while you two figure out how to dance the horizontal mambo.” At Mary Margaret’s look, Emma balks. “No. I know that look on your face--”

“He’ll be more than willing--”

“Which is exactly why I’m saying no--”

“Just call him!”

“Mary Margaret!”

“Emma!”

A knock on the door breaks up their bickering. “It’s open!” Mary Margaret calls, flashing Emma a smile. “It’s Friday -- you have a standing date,” she whispers.

“It’s not a date,” Emma hisses, just as the door opens.

“Bloody hell, it’s cold in here.”

Emma turns just as Killian Jones -- man of artfully disheveled hair, buttoned shirts that somehow never button up to the top, scoundrel and rogue, voted Preferred Drinking Buddy three years running, and one of the best friends she’s ever had -- looks around the apartment with concern. “Seriously, are you trying to save on energy costs? Your pipes are going to freeze.”

Emma and Mary Margaret share a panicked glance before Mary Margaret says, “Slow drip, quick.”

As they split up to turn on all the faucets enough to keep water running, though slowly, Killian watches with increasing confusion. “No really, what--”

“I forgot to pay the bill and the gas company can eat my ass,” Emma calls from the bathroom.

She hears Killian snort. “Lovely as your arse is, Swan, I doubt they took the suggestion very well.”

Her mouth twists and she feels her cheeks warm. “I didn’t say it to them.”

“No, you just thought it. Loudly.”

Coming out of the bathroom, she grabs one of her beanies and shoves it on over her hair, hoping to retain some of her body heat. “Did not,” she says, mulishly.

The look he levels at her makes her feel warm all over. “I know you, love, don’t forget. The moment you can tell someone to piss off, or one of your other charming turns of phrase, you do. There’s no hesitation.”

“He’s right,” Mary Margaret says, placing a few more items into her bag and then zipping it shut. “There’s a reason I made you call the cable company.” She picks up her bag with a small grunt, walking awkwardly towards the door with it. “Okay, so I’m going then. Emma, you do what you need to but please do not freeze to death in our apartment over Christmas. You’ll hang around as some sort of Christmas ghost and judge me for whoever I choose as my next roommate.”

Emma snorts. “Please. I would not Marley you, you’re way more Fuzziwig than Scrooge.”

Mary Margaret laughs and waves as she heads out the door. Killian looks at Emma, still bemused to the whole situation. “So, there’s no heat.”

“No.”

“And Mary Margaret is going… where, exactly?”

Emma smiles, wrapping herself in a blanket from the back of the couch and plopping down on the cushions. Killian sits next to her, looking at her with one eyebrow raised expectantly. “She’s going to go make a man out of Sheriff Nolan,” Emma says, a note of pride in her voice. “Making the best out of a stupid situation. I’m sorry movie night is going to be kind of cold.”

Killian shakes his head. “No, it’s not.” At her inquisitive eyebrow, he continues, “It’s not going to be cold because we’re going to my place. And you’re bringing a bag and you aren’t coming back until they’ve turned your heat back on. I much prefer your company while you’re not half-frozen, Swan.”

Her heart leaps into her throat. “Killian, I can’t possibly impose like that.”

“It’s not an imposition if I offer first, love.”

“Still--it’s Christmas, and--”

“All the more reason. Tis the season and all, yeah?”

Emma huffs and Killian smiles. “Look, Swan, it’s not as if either you or I have any big grand plans for the holiday. In fact, if I recall correctly, our plan was to have takeout together and watch ridiculous movies. This just ensures you won’t be late.”

She scoffs, smacking him on the arm, and his smile widens into a grin. Her heart, slowly making its way down from her throat, skips a beat.

This would be why staying at Killian’s would be a terrible idea. She’s had a ridiculous crush on him since--well, since she shot him down that one time he asked her out and then actually backed off respectfully. It wasn’t an immediate thing, more a slow realization that he actually meant it when he said he’d back off if his advances made her uncomfortable. And then it turned out that they worked ridiculously well together -- as friends, as partners in pinochle, as Tom Servo and Crow when it came to bad movies.

And then Emma didn’t want to ruin that by saying “Hey remember when you asked me to dinner and I told you to get lost? Yeah, taking that back now, let’s go out. And then make out on your ridiculously comfortable couch.”

It’s going to be a lot harder to resist making out with him on his couch when she’s going to be sleeping on said couch.

Though, maybe, it might be harder when he’s sleeping on said couch.

“I’m not staying here if you’re making me take your damn bed, Jones,” Emma says an hour or so later, braced for a fight in his blessedly warm living room.

“And my mother will rise from the dead and shame me from now until hell freezes over if I allow a woman to sleep on my couch when I’m not bedridden or otherwise incapacitated.”

Mary Margaret’s always warning her that if she keeps rolling them, her eyes are going to roll right out of her head and across the floor, but everyone just keeps saying ridiculous things and Emma can’t help it. “Well, I’m pretty sure that I’m a big girl who can make her own decisions on where to sleep. And it’s on the couch. You have an extremely comfortable couch.”

To prove her point, she goes to root around in his linen closet, intent on making up the couch herself. Yes, they were planning on a movie night still, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t have everything ready; she smiles to herself, thinking about how he’s going to grumble when she inevitably kicks him out to sleep in his own bed, but then her hands still as she wonders what might happen if she just… didn’t.

If she just asked him to stay. Or… didn’t ask, but didn’t… make him leave.

She feels warmth behind her and Killian’s hands cover hers, taking the sheets from her. “Stubborn lass,” he murmurs, right near her ear.

Emma watches him go, fingering the hems of her sleeves while she watches him make up the couch. Quietly, she goes to change into her pajamas--no use taking extra steps later, be comfortable now--and by the time she comes back out of the bathroom he’s already finished with the sheets and the blankets; now he’s perched on the end of the couch, a 6-pack of Christmas ales sitting unopened on the coffee table, with a fresh bag of chips and some salsa sitting out for their eating pleasure. “Well isn’t this festive?” Emma asks, sitting down and opening the bag. “What’s on the docket for tonight?”

They argue for a bit about what to watch--Christmas movies are for Christmas Eve, Die Hard is so a Christmas movie and thus off the table, they don’t want anything too sappy or action-y tonight--and while Emma then scrolls through the movie list, Killian goes to put on his own pajamas. She’s distracted when he comes back, eyes following the line of his well-fitted shirt (seriously, who wears a fitted shirt to bed? Killian Jones, apparently) down to where his pajama pants sit low on his hips.

Her mouth feels very dry and there’s no bottle opener for the Christmas ales.

Fuck, staying here is a terrible idea, no matter how warm his apartment actually is.

He barely sits when he says, “Damn, the bottle opener,” and gets up to go to the kitchen and fuck her life if his pants aren’t like, expertly sculpted to his ass. Did Yves Saint Laurent make pajamas now? Distracted as she is, she doesn’t really pay attention to what movie she picks; her fingers just seem to take over from her brain’s complete lack of comprehensive abilities and all Emma hears is the ‘yay thank you for choosing a movie!’ noise coming from the TV. She just hopes she didn’t choose something too sappy or silly or childish. Or all three.

“What are we watching?” Killian asks, the bottle opener in his prosthetic and picking up a beer with the other. He pops the lid off and hands it to her, reaching for his own.

“I left it to the whims of fate,” she says, hoping she sounds very casual about it and not at all like she wants to say ‘fuck this’ to the movie and crawl on top of him and rip him out of his absurdly well-fitted pajamas. “Like throwing a dart, but less holes left in your wall.”

He chuckles, setting the bottle opener down. “Well I, and my landlord, thank you for the consideration, love.”

They tap the bottlenecks together and take a swig; Emma practically dives into the chips and salsa while whatever it is her fingers picked to watch starts playing.

It’s some animated movie. It might be about feelings or growing up or both. She’s not too sure, but it’s bright and colorful and she absolutely starts to feel tired about half an

hour into it. She steals the blanket across the back of the couch and bundles herself in it, snuggling into the cushions and just… closing her eyes for a moment.

Just a moment. Just…

*~*

There’s a pillow under her head. There definitely hadn’t been any pillows like this on the couch, a plush and soft one with an actual pillowcase, and while Killian’s couch is comfortable, it’s not pillow-top comfortable.

She vaguely remembers being picked up at some point, but nothing after that. And if she’d been picked up, it meant Killian had put her in his bed, after she’d specifically insisted--

“Dammit, Killian,” she mumbles, stretching a little and rolling onto her belly.

“What on earth have I done now?”

She freezes, mid-pillow plumping, and realizes that the weight around her middle is not, actually, the blankets bunched up on her. Turning her head, she cracks open an eye and sees him lying next to her, one arm around her middle, and seeming just as half-asleep and bemused as she. His hair’s a riot on top of his head and his beard is scruffy from lack of trimming, and Emma has never felt more like she might be in love with him than she has in this moment. “I told you to let me stay on the couch,” she whispers finally.

“And you did fight me on that, even in sleep. I did attempt to move you, and yet you clung to me even in sleep and refused to let me leave, so in that case it seemed to me that the best compromise was to stay.”

Emma’s glad for the darkness in the room still because she’s pretty sure there’s not much that she could use as an excuse for why her cheeks were so red. “Well, I won’t apologize since it wasn’t what I wanted in the first place,” she grumbles, snuggling deeper into the pillow.

Killian chuckles and she feels his thumb tracing a pattern on her hip. “Stubborn lass.”

She hums in agreement, wriggling into his touch and feeling sleepy again. Killian mumbles something under his breath and moves closer, pulling her snug against his chest. “Killian,” Emma whispers, sucking in a breath and feeling much more awake.

But he’s fast asleep, or good at pretending, and doesn’t reply. Emma lays still for a few moments to make sure he’s asleep once more, then pulls away. He was half-asleep, she thinks as she gets out from under the blankets and to her feet; the carpet is cool under her skin and her heart races as she tiptoes to the kitchen to get breakfast going. It didn’t mean anything, he was half-asleep.

Killian’s kitchen is well stocked, but even so she’s not that much of a cook. She gets the coffee going, which is honestly the most important part, and then just decides to make pancakes. Beating the eggs and whipping the powder mix together helps her get her emotions under control, though she possibly squishes the pancakes down a little harder than necessary in the pan.

She’s pathetic, in love with her best friend and too chicken to say anything about it, too overcome by a simple thing as him holding her to stay in bed and enjoy it. He’d been warm and she’d really just wanted to roll over and press her back to his front and enjoy the feeling of being held, but no. He was half-asleep and it didn’t count and he’s just her best friend and why does it hurt so much?

God, she hopes Mary Margaret is having a better Christmas weekend than she is. Not that this is bad, per say, but she’d rather go without having more fuel to add to the fire that is her stupid, unrequited crush.

There’s a shuffling down the hall and she busies herself with the pancake mix. “Hmm, something smells delicious,” Killian rumbles.

She glances over her shoulder, watching briefly as he scrubs his hand over his face. “It’s just from a box,” she says, feeling a little dejected.

“I wasn’t talking about the pancakes,” he says and she hears the grin in his voice. “The coffee, love, it’s a godsend.”

She cracks half a smile as she hears him rattle around with the coffee mugs. “It’s why I did that first. And before you say anything, I am, in fact, aware that I don’t have to cook for you just because you let me stay. Even if you did drag me to bed against my will.”

He makes a sort of choking noise into his coffee mug. “Pardon?”

“Oh you told me all about it, buddy.”

“I did?”

Her heart sank a little further. “Yeah. You must have been talking in your sleep, but I cussed you out about it and you just went back to sleep.”

He’s quiet for a few moments and she finishes the last pancake, sliding it onto the stack and turning off the burner. She goes to drop the pan and the mixing bowl in the sink and as soon as they leave her hands, his own catches her wrist. “Emma, are you cross with me?”

No, never with you. Except when you cheat at Scrabble, but that’s fair game, she thinks. “No.”

He pulls a little and makes her look at him. That’s cheating, giving her those big eyes, so full of trust and sincerity, letting her know that it’s completely fine to tell him anything. “I’m not,” she says. “I’m just… well, you’re just as touchy-feely when you’re mostly-asleep as you are when you’re drunk, that’s all.”

“Emma, if I’ve at all behaved inappropriately towards you--”

“No! God, Killian, no. You were just missing your teddy bear or whatever,” she says, yanking her hand free and going to get plates.

He doesn’t respond and they eat in the most uncomfortable silence Emma’s ever sat through. She doesn’t look at him and though she’s fairly hungry, her cinnamon-laced pancakes go down like lead. She shouldn’t have said anything. Now he feels awkward and it didn’t bother her--not the way he probably thinks--and she’s made the whole of Christmas weekend terrible.

“I’m going to shower,” she says quietly after she’s put her dishes in the sink.

She’s quick and efficient, drying her hair in much the same way. She packs up her bag when she’s done dressing, figuring the fastest way out of this awkwardness is to just leave him to it alone. She can suffer with a space heater and a mountain of blankets. “Swan, what are you doing?”

Killian’s in the doorway, watching her with a worried look on his face. “Going back to my apartment,” she mumbles, zipping the bag up with more force than strictly necessary.

“Emma, please talk to me. Have I done something?”

Frustration bubbles up in her chest. “No,” she snaps. “It’s not--look, I liked it, okay? You held me this morning, and I liked it, and I don’t--I just need to go, okay?”

“Emma.” He’s like a brick wall in her way, giving her a pleading look as she tries and fails to get past him. “Lass, I may--I may not have been entirely truthful. Or, rather, chose not to mention… It wasn’t an accident.”

“What wasn’t an accident?”

She feels nervous all of a sudden, adrenaline making her fingers tingle and her heart pounds in her chest. He looks just as nervous, but his lips quirk up in a brief smile. “The teddy bear thing,” he says, his voice almost a whisper. “It may--it may not have been--well, it wasn’t an accident. I wanted to… It wasn’t very gentlemanly of me and I apologize about that, but I just wanted to see… for once… what it might feel like to hold you.”

That last part is barely audible, but she’s close enough that she hears it all the same. “You--”

“Aye.”

Her nerves increase but it’s powered by hope rather than fear, and she’s not sure which of them moves first but they do meet somewhere in the middle for a tangle of lips and tongues and sighs. Her hands find his hair, still a complete mess and about to get even messier if she has anything to say about it, and his arms wrap around her waist to pull her in snug against him. She still has some questions about how it might--will--feel to have his front pressed to his back, but she’s fairly certain that having their fronts pressed together is the most wonderful thing she’s felt in ages.

Though there might be too many clothes between them, if the way his body is reacting to hers has anything to say about it.

It’s a tangle of limbs and laughter as they stumble back to the bed, knocking her bag off of it in the process as they lay back down, but there’s no move to remove their clothes, simply reveling in the learning curve of kissing and light touches. He finds where she’s ticklish and makes her giggle against his lips and his smile is bright enough to rival the Christmas tree out in the living room and she’s happy. The fastest switch from glum to glee she can ever remember feeling and the cause of both is the man in front of her, his fingers tracing her chin and looking at her like he’s never seen anything so wonderful in his entire life. “I can’t--I’ve been in love with you for what feels like forever,” she confesses quietly.

He smiles, it’s soft and she loves the lines that crinkle around his eyes. “Yeah?” he asks.

“You’re going to kill me for it, but probably around the time I told you to fuck off after asking me out.”

He looks at her differently now, maybe like she’s grown another head, but then he starts to laugh. He rolls onto his back, tears streaming from his eyes as he laughs so hard he can hardly breathe, and Emma eventually starts to giggle too, burying her face in the crook of his arm. “You bloody would,” Killian says finally, wiping the heel of his hand across his face to clear the tear tracks.

“Shut up,” she mumbles, still giggling, and pinches him for good measure.

He yelps and wriggles away, leaving her to prop her head up on her arm to look at him better. He turns his head, his cheeks pink from laughter, and her heart melts a little at his smile. “I’ve loved you a bit longer than that, I think, but I never expected you’d return how I feel.”

“Yeah, well… I came around to the idea eventually. And was a big chicken about it. It was easier to stay quiet.”

“While I wish you hadn’t, I understand why. And I wouldn’t trade our years of friendship for anything, love. We got there in the end didn’t we?”

She smiles and leans forward, touching their foreheads together. “Yeah. Eventually.”

*~*

On Christmas morning, Emma’s cell phone wakes them both from the bedside table. She rolls over and reaches for it, swearing up a storm at the noise and at Killian’s laughter next to her. “Good morning and David had better have turned out to be the guy who floods the apartment and burns it down,” Emma says.

Mary Margaret just laughs. “Merry Christmas to you, too. Have you survived the weekend?”

Emma smiles as Killian’s lips brush over her bare shoulder. They’d talked yesterday about letting their friends know about this little development, but decided just to keep this between themselves for a little while longer. Their own little Christmas secret. She leans into it and smiles wider as his hand brushes down her back and teases the backs of her thighs. “We’ve survived. There was a lot of beer and movies. I should be asking you that--how’s the state of your vagina?”

Killian makes a noise that’s halfway between a choke and a laugh and Mary Margaret is a little more vocally scandalized by the question. “Emma Swan, you--it’s fine, thank you very much, but what was that noise?”

“Killian’s coming down with a cough. He was up before me making coffee, making noise and trying to wake me up,” Emma lies easily.

Her best friend hums, not quite believing her, but perhaps in the spirit of Christmas she doesn’t question it further. “Well, things here have been good. Better than good. You didn’t hear anything more from the gas company?”

“No,” Emma says, arching her back a little into Killian’s touch. “But I expected as much. Might not be able to go home until Wednesday.”

“Shame,” Mary Margaret replies, a little wistful and not at all regretful about maybe having to stay at her boyfriend’s house another day.

Killian ducks under the covers and his lips start mapping a path down her back. “Yeah,” Emma says with a happy sigh. “A damn shame.”

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 29/05/2021 (Eurovision, BTS, Olivia Rodrigo, Galantis/David Guetta/Little Mix, Anne-Marie & Niall Horan)

What better way to celebrate the end of a week in which I have been consistently ill and surprisingly busy? Sixteen new arrivals, of course! Shoot me, but first, congratulate Olivia Rodrigo for her second #1 as “good 4 u” gets the album boost to overthrow “Body” this week. I can safely say I think it’ll be there for a while. Let’s just start REVIEWING THE CHARTS.

Rundown

Sixteen new arrivals and therefore, kind of a bloodbath. Why are there sixteen new arrivals? We’ll get to it. Other than six new arrivals from last week, we have a couple other drop-outs, the notable of which being those that spent five or more weeks in the UK Top 75 – which I cover – or those that peaked in the top 40. Therefore, those include, rather ironically on Olivia Rodrigo’s album week, former #1 “drivers license” (only dropping out because of a silly UK chart rule that only allows three songs per lead artist on the chart), as well as “Don’t Play” by Anne-Marie, KSI and Digital Farm Animals, “Another Love” by Tom Odell, “Calling My Phone” by Lil Tjay and 6LACK, “Heartbreak Anniversary” by Giveon, “Tonight” by Ghost Killer Track and D-Block Europe featuring OBOY and “Miss the Rage” by Trippie Redd and Playboi Carti. I’m not complaining about most of this, sorry, Giveon.

We have no returning entries – thankfully – so instead we can just focus on notable falls and climbers. I guess we’ll start with notable losses, songs that dropped five or more spots from their placement last week, and of course we do have a few of them at least as a result of, say it with me, sixteen new arrivals. The first few of these are all harsh drops because of ACR, which happened to coincide with the rest of the chaos, including “Little Bit of Love” by Tom Grennan at #24, “BED” by Joel Corry, David Guetta and RAYE at #25, “Friday” (Dopamine Re-Edit) by Riton and Nightcrawlers featuring Musafa & Hypeman at #26, “Peaches” by Justin Bieber featuring Daniel Caesar and Giveon at #29 and “Let’s Go Home Together” by Ella Henderson and Tom Grennan at #33. We also have the losses for J. Cole staying surprisingly slim with “My Life” featuring 21 Savage and Morray at #27, “Pride is the Devil” featuring Lil Baby at #28 and “Amari” at #35. The rest are mostly just expected continuous fallers, like “Wellerman” by Nathan Evans and remixed by 220 KID and Billen Ted at #44, “Nice to Meet Ya” by Wes Nelson and Yxng Bane at #46, “Your Love (9PM)” by ATB, Topic and A7S at #50, “Marea (We’ve Lost Dancing)” by Fred again.. and the Blessed Madonna at #51, “Ferrari Horses” by D-Block Europe featuring RAYE at #53, “Heat Waves” by Glass Animals at #57, “Seeing Green” by Nicki Minaj, Drake and Lil Wayne at #58 off of the debut, “All You Ever Wanted” by Rag’n’Bone Man at #61, “Martin & Gina” by Polo G at #63, “Leave the Door Open” by Silk Sonic at #64, “My Head & My Heart” by Ava Max at #65, Travis Scott’s remix of HVME’s remix of Travis Scott’s “Goosebumps” at #67, “Addicted” by Jorja Smith at #68, “Beautiful Mistakes” by Maroon 5 and Megan Thee Stallion at #70, “Sunshine (The Light)” by Fat Joe, DJ Khaled and Amorphous at #73, “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi at #74 and finally “Believe Me” by Navos at #75. Phew.

Now what’s interesting is that we have nearly just as many gains, and they’re pretty unique, big surges in most cases, starting with “Cover Me in Sunshine” by P!nk and Willow Sage Heart at #52 thanks to the album boost that also prompted P!nk’s “All I Know So Far” to creep into the top 40 at #39, “Build a Bitch” by Bella Poarch at #32 off of the debut, “Starstruck” by Years & Years at #31 thanks to a bizarrely uncredited Kylie Minogue remix, “Little More Love” by AJ Tracey at #21, “Didn’t Know” by Tom Zanetti at #20, “Higher Power” by Coldplay at #19, “Black Hole” by Griff at #18, Majestic’s remix of Boney M.’s “Rasputin” at #16, “Good Without” by Mimi Webb soaring into the top 10 and hence becoming her first at #10, and Olivia Rodrigo getting her third thanks to the album boost as “deja vu” is at #4. I think that’s more than enough that needs to be said about music that was already on the chart last week, so welcome back to the part of this series where I get either increasingly frustrated or exhausted every time I have to list another song.

NEW ARRIVALS

#72 – “Life Goes On” – PS1 featuring Alex Hosking

Produced by PS1 and Mark Alston

So, what better way to start sixteen new arrivals? A generic piano-house club track, of course. PS1 is a New York DJ and for this track with a 90s-esque piano and synth melody, bassy drop and tight, bland percussion as well as oddly-mixed anonymous female vocals made to sound robotic regardless of genuine emotive performance, he’s enlisted Australian singer Alex Hosking as well as co-songwriting from hit-makers GOODBOYS, both of which make remarkably little difference to the fact that despite being a faux-inspirational club track, this song is incredibly joyless and flailing in as pathetic and one-note of a fashion as possible. Yes, that is one exhaustive sentence chugging on as long as possible, but there’s no better way to parallel this disposable garbage than that.

#71 – “What a Time” – Julia Michaels featuring Niall Horan

Produced by Ian Kirkpatrick and RKCB

Niall Horan coincidentally has two unrelated female-male duets debuting with him in this week. Thankfully, Julia Michaels only has the one track debuting, and for the love of God, I can’t even figure out why she has the one, as this is a track from a 2019 EP that flew massively under every radar except seemingly mine as whilst I have listened to this EP, I cannot remember for the life of me liking any of it besides “Anxiety”, which makes sense since Michaels is at best an uninteresting songwriter and at worst an insufferable vocal presence. Regardless, I’m going to assume the surge is due to TikTok or some kind of residual Niall Horan hype, whatever there is of that, and look at this song two years after the fact. Well, for what it’s worth, I appreciate the vaguely folkish guitar riff, even if it’s going to be drowned out immensely by Michaels’ approach to vocal takes, which is to put as little effort into that first take and then multi-track enough for it to sound listenable, particularly on that bizarrely unfitting chorus in which reminiscing on a wonderful, intimate time with your partner is demonstrated by rote piano chords, an awkward string swell and distant, reverb-drenched incoherency on the vocals. I guess I do like the switch in the final chorus as she changes “what a time” to “what a lie” to emphasise the bitterness of that break-up, but I don’t think that bitterness has to soak the entire master because this song is dripping in apathy that I just don’t have any time for personally in my pop power ballads. Wait, Niall Horan was on this song?

Eurovision Song Contest 2021

Whilst I may not do a special episode on this blog for the Eurovision Song Contest, I’d be lying if I didn’t confess to watching and enjoying it every year. This year’s, the first since 2019 for obvious reasons, was hosted in Rotterdam in the Netherlands and was won by an Italian rock band, with the United Kingdom infamously receiving zero points yet somehow more applause than Israel’s performance. Telling. It’s not all politics though, obviously: the reason songs win is not just the lighting, stage presence, vocal performance or grandiosity, but rather the songs themselves, or at least ostensibly so. The winner this year didn’t have the best of any of those factors in my opinion – no, not even the politics – so it’s clearly about a mixture of this success criteria. This year had some particularly good songs and the most consistency out of Eurovision in a while, naturally leading to quite a few new arrivals, also factored in by the charts being weak, so we essentially get an album bomb. Let’s pile up every new arrival related to Eurovision and talk somewhat more briefly about each song, starting with...

#66 – “Dark Side” – Blind Channel

Representing: FINLAND

The Finnish entry this year is one of two heavy rock entries, both of which charted, and this is a genre represented by about one country annually. There’s always a Gothic-influenced or industrial-esque band in the shortlist or national finals if not the semis and international final, but it doesn’t stop them from being some of the most interesting Eurovision contesters. It’s in English and came sixth with 301 points. Is it any good? Well, it’s far from bad with that pumping electronic groove before it’s crushed by metallic, distorted and rather ugly guitars that remind me of, if anything, scene-era nu metal and crunkcore, especially due to the clean and growling vocal dynamic. The song is still anthemic as all hell and if we ignore the dog barking and stuttering vocals, as well as the fact that these vocalists don’t have that much grit to their performance, we can appreciate the clamouring rock track this is, and I’d be lying if I said that final chorus isn’t pretty epic. Next!

#62 – “Voilá” – Barbara Pravi

Representing: FRANCE

The French entry this year is one my staunchly Italian nationalist online friend immediately had a distaste for, and as someone with British citizenship, I am also legally obliged to give this Worst of the Week. Sorry, Barbara but traditions are traditions. It’s in her native French and came second overall with 499 points. Is it any good? Well, like many French entries and French pop songs in general, it’s in a chanson style that adapts very well to the modern western art-pop sound, as Pravi’s cooing vocals are at full focus in the mix as they skate around more subtle pianos, wonderfully elegant strings and this wistful tone that may or may not make sense for the content. What? I’m not learning a word of French past what was grained into me during primary school. Overall, I think this is a pretty great song with a lot of that almost Bjork-esque swell especially in Pravi’s vocal performance that I think makes for a pretty excellent listen, especially by the time that abrupt finish hits. I’d probably prefer it being a bit less minimal and scattered so the hook hits harder but overall this is one of the best Eurovision entries this year. However, she is French so, next!

#59 – “SHUM” – Go_A

Representing: UKRAINE

The Ukrainian entry, always successful enough to get to the finals, was particularly hyped up prior due to its... eccentricity and ended up in fifth place with 364 points. It’s in their native Ukrainian so they might as well be garbling acid both verbally and as a written text, so I guess I have to judge it on the fact that this is pretty bonkers, with a charismatic and energetic vocal performance that yells over triumphant bassy horns perfectly blended with the 80s bass synths but not so much with those chirping flutes that, whilst cool on paper, kind of just give me a headache when faced against this thumping dance beat that remains decidedly strained for most of its runtime, and annoyingly so as it means the song never has that cathartic of a release, at least to me, but what drop it has ends up deconstructed and janky in something that might fit on PC Music but I’m not sure it does on Ukrainian Eurovision. This has something there, but I’m not into it. Sorry.

#47 – “Embers” – James Newman

REPRESENTING: United Kingdom

A catastrophic loss is British culture at Eurovision, and it’s not the first time in this century that we’ve gotten the infamous null points. James happens to be related to the more noteworthy John Newman, but that didn’t avoid a “nil points catastrophe”, coined by Jochan Embley, who reviewed the song for the Evening Standard and is now set in stone as an utter fool as his quote predicting that not to be the case this year is now forever preserved on the Wikipedia page for this very song. Nice one, Embley. We finished at twenty-sixth and Newman should honestly be glad this embarrassment is charting. The worst part of this whole ordeal is that the song’s actually fine and definitely representative of British pop music with its 90s-esque piano, bassy drop and anonymous vocal performance – if any of that sounds familiar – and I do love the plastic brass added here for the sake of bombast. It’s nothing interesting, and a tad too long considering how little it does with its musical premise, but it’s not worse than half of any given Eurovision. Maybe next year we submit a UK drill song, I’m sure that’ll get the people going. Tion Wayne, do you want to take a flight to Italy in 2022? Maybe bring Young Adz here while you’re at it; that could truly be a fascinatingly out of place Eurovision entry but at least one of these countries – probably Russia – would vote for it. As for now, at least this was funny to see absolutely bomb, and Graham Norton become increasingly hopeless for its success as the night went on.

#43 – “10 Years” – Daoi Freyr

REPRESENTING: Iceland

One part of this guy’s backing band tested positive for COVID-19 so they had to isolate and just show the dress rehearsal again but it didn’t stop them from charting and delivering a pretty damn unique entry, as Iceland is known for doing nowadays. It’s all in English and finished in fourth place with 378 points, and is it any good? Well, for one of the whitest concepts in television, this is the whitest song of this year’s entries, starting with some gentle violins before abruptly careening straight into this Daoi Freyr guy monotonously droning over bass-heavy nu-disco straight out of the 2000s with a level of irony balancing out whatever sincerity there is in the quasi-R&B breakdown, and, you know, it’s fun, at least? I do think the stage performance is remarkably more interesting than this funktronica mess in the studio, but this is catchy and inoffensive, two good ways to get people to care about your song in Eurovision, so it makes sense. Also,  that chiptune synth-solo borderline saves this song, even in all its brevity.

#17 – “ZITTI E BUONI” – Maneskin

REPRESENTING: Italy

So third place didn’t chart – sorry, Switzerland – but we do obviously get the winner charting as high as the top 20. The chart’s weak and the lead singer’s hot and probably does cocaine – it’s a recipe for success, especially when they probably have mafia connections and can threaten or buy their way into the charts. Unrealistic and possibly xenophobic stereotypes aside, this is the Italian entry and whilst I was personally gunning for Portugal, who came twelfth, I can see how this gathered 524 points, even if they had to censor the lyrics for the sake of the contest, not that I can tell because I do not know a lick of Italian. Sorry, Ignacio. Anyway, this song kicks ass and rather disrespectfully at that, as the lead singer breathily sings over garage rock-esque guitar licks and some pretty manic drumming that delivers not only a catchy hook but an undeniable groove, assisted by some slick rapping that comes out of the blue in the second verse and honestly fits the song – and the singer – a lot better than it has any right to. Congratulations, Italy – you’ll be paying out the ass for the next contest. Ciao!

Back to your regularly scheduled programming...

Well, that got a lot out of the way. Not all of it, though.

#60 – “Topshottas Freestyle” – Potter Payper

Produced by Chucks

Potter Payper is basically some guy from Barking, East London, and that’s all you need to sign a record deal with the same label that has Stormzy on payroll so that’s why he’s here. With that said, there’s something deeper here, or at least in the first few lines of this singular verse – without a chorus – in which Potter Payper narrates a street lifestyle, far too common for young working-class British men, retelling what is probably his truth about the consequences of ignoring motherly advices and finding yourself in a situation surrounded by gang violence, drug trafficking and all the paranoia that comes with it. Of course, he then brags about his wordplay, gunplay and fashion, and the rest of the verse just feels aimless with nothing exactly restraining the meandering checklist of clichés, and zilch returning it back to what I thought was going to be the point of the song. I guess this trap beat is okay but this same acoustic guitar and oddly-mastered bass is so common and uninteresting that I find it hard to care. I don’t have an issue with British music being Americanised as that’s just the result of musical evolution and the sharing of culture, but when the only way you can tell this isn’t from the States is the accent does make me question why this is charting amongst Dave and AJ Tracey instead of Lil Baby and Gunna.

#56 – “GANG GANG” – Polo G and Lil Wayne

Produced by Angelo Ferraro

Polo G, after just having the biggest hit of his career with the US #1 hit “RAPSTAR”, follows it up with a Lil Wayne collaboration and thanks to a busy and just misguided release date and timing, it makes a lot less noise than it should. It absolutely deserves that level of attention too, with its chopped-up borderline ambient melody that creates  a perfect foundation for this high-energy bass-heavy trap beat as well as Polo G delivering a lot more energy than on “RAPSTAR” (to the point where I think that’s the reason why his actually interesting songs don’t do as well). The chorus has a pretty great melodic switch-up by the end and whilst the flows are pretty rote, it’s hard to say they aren’t smoothly delivering all of the flexing and gunplay pretty typical of Polo G, and if anything that’s what it’s missing: an extra layer of depth, not that I care of course, because Lil Wayne’s on it. Wayne has been astonishingly great on features recently and this is one of his most impressive features to the point where I could barely write about it on first listen, with some of his slickest flow switches ever and whilst the content doesn’t get any more interesting than pouring his heart out for his lean, his pure charisma outshines anyone who could have been on this track and this means this ends up pretty excellent in terms of 2020s trap-rap. I don’t know when that Polo G album is coming but I hope it has more of this. Also, for the love of God, Wayne, keep this energy up for the next album. I’m begging you.

#42 – “SUN GOES DOWN” – Lil Nas X

Produced by Roy Lenzo, Omar Fedi and Take a Daytrip

As his follow up to “MONTERO”, we have a new, decidedly less sexual Lil Nas X hit debuting again surprisingly low on the chart considering the last single’s success, finally delivering in the musical department as for me, there’s a constant conflict between wanting to like Lil Nas as a character, performer and personality rather than actually enjoying any of the guy’s music. Last time I talked about Lil Nas, I did bring up the Pitchfork album review that questioned if he really liked music and whilst it’s funny, I do see how Lil Nas could have perhaps taken Pitchfork to heart as a result as he practically explains his love of popular music as a way for him to feel like he belonged in a community, which is especially meaningful for a man constantly left alienated because of his own mental health issues as a teenager and struggling to come to terms with his homosexuality, to the point of suicidal thoughts. I just love how the verse ends on a happy note where makes the leap of faith to come out and how now he’s proud of himself, he wants to make sure his fans are proud of him since they’re the people who got him there. For me, those last lines recontextualise the chorus as becoming less about contemplating death but more about ascending to a happier place and rejecting all your struggles that you’ve overcome. It helps that this is all sang pretty soulfully over an almost emo guitar melody with some basic flows but gorgeous multi-tracked vocal melodies accentuated by strings that elevate this song even higher, even if it seems underdeveloped. Sure, it doesn’t have that second verse, but does a victory lap need a re-over?

#38 – “Mask” – Dream

Produced by Perish Beats and Banrisk

Nope.

#22 – “Our Song” – Anne-Marie and Niall Horan

Produced by TMS

Okay, so this is a duet where two ex-lovers – only in the song – attempt to get over each other but end up hearing a song they held special to their relationship and all of the memories and pain comes flooding back. Without the youthful exuberance of Taylor Swift’s song of the same name, this duet should carry some bitterness and resentment but mostly capture a hesitant nostalgia... and despite being oddly Niall Horan-dominated, I guess it does that pretty effectively, or at least would if Niall wasn’t crushed by a misshapen trap beat that drowns this pathetically fluttering guitar loop into a mush that not even Anne-Marie can over-sell. Everything here is so utterly basic that it kind of screws itself over by trying for any energy or passion, and therefore kind of just doesn’t. I’m glad.

#9 – “Heartbreak Anthem” – Galantis, David Guetta and Little Mix

Produced by Bloodshy, Henrik Jonback, David Saint Fleur, Thom Bridges, David Guetta, Mike Hawkins, SONDR and Johnny Goldstein

It really speaks to the power of Little Mix that even with only three members and only one of them not expecting a child, they can bring Galantis back of all people. Although given that Galantis is already a duo, I fail to see why David Guetta needs to be here, and the same can go for any of the other seven credited producers of this song, which actually only includes one half of Galantis! I question if a song ever needs that many, despite the fact that in reality they probably contributed zilch to the song each, just enough to get a pay check. None of that should matter, however, if the song isn’t good and I’ll admit this is far from the worst that any of these guys have delivered, with a string melody and swell not unlike 2015-era house Galantis themselves made, and vocal deliveries from the girls that sound like they were located in vastly different locations from each other (to the point where anyone harmonising with Perrie sounds really awkward regardless of how many vocal manipulation effects you can put on them). For seven producers, that’s inexcusable, but as a song, it’s just a shallow post-break-up song that kind of feels like a dig towards Jesy if anything (although I hope it isn’t). I’m not a fan – I never was going to be – but it works for what it is as this colourful house jam, and not much else. This is Galantis’ first top 10 since 2016, by the way. Yeah, Little Mix are that big.

#7 – “traitor” – Olivia Rodrigo

Produced by Dan Nigro

It couldn’t have been “brutal”? Or “hope ur ok”? Okay, well, if we’re going to have the dullest track on the album bar one I guess we’ll go with the one that follows the “drivers license” formula to a T but without as much passion in the vocals, without as much interesting songwriting quirks and with a whole lot of rote fluff removed far from any indie-girl influence that undercuts what is essentially a teen-pop product. I’m not going to pretend I cannot get caught up in melodrama and embrace that, but this is a slog of a ballad with an almost sing-song, condescending vocal melody in that chorus, multi-tracked and studio-produced to rid her of any of that natural rasp she has when singing live. The song is about being annoyed by an ex finding someone new and the more toxic thoughts that come with being the ex-girlfriend in that situation, but with decidedly low stakes this time around that just make her more unlikeable than relatable. I’m sorry, I didn’t think that album was half-bad at all, but please don’t make this the post-release hit.

#3 – “Butter” – BTS

Produced by Ron Perry, Rob Grimaldi and Stephen Kirk

See, I value my personal information, and I don’t know about you but I’m as scared of these guys as I am Nicki Minaj stans, or Minecraft YouTuber stans, or serial killers, so whilst I doubt my platform is extensive enough to reach that level, I also know that these people are so online that they could easily find me somehow somewhere. With that said, just to clarify, when I say I wish I could “Nope” myself out of this one like I did with Dream because I have consistently little to say about this band, it’s not because I in any way dislike BTS or the band members within, or their record label that manages them and many other K-pop bands which I also do not dislike, or, because I’ve seen this happen, East Asians in general. Is that enough stalling to just say I don’t care about this basic pop fluff? When BTS are in Korean, their lyrics aren’t embarrassing and their production tends to be more experimental or at least catchier, more interesting. I like a fair few Korean BTS songs as a result but I just do not see the appeal in making another stiff, cleanly-produced 80s-esque funk-pop song with some chiptune synths that are admittedly kinda cool other than getting on US radio. There’s some interplay between the boys here but it just leads to a pretty homogenised track where none of them have enough personality to shine through, not even SUGA and RM on the tacked-on rap verse that so awkwardly ends. The synth solo sounds perfectly out of an era of dated 80s synths that I’m not sure anyone other than Bruno Mars actually had nostalgia for, and not even some pretty vocoder can save it. The writing is too clumsy, the production’s not equipped to handle it and there’s not much to speak of in terms of performance. I fear for my life when I say it but I think this is actually pretty bad.

Conclusion

Okay, so, we’re finally finished with this week and God, I’m glad, as there’s not that much quality here to speak of, although what is here is here in droves, so Best of the Week gladly goes to Polo G and Lil Wayne for “GANG GANG”, with “Sun Goes Down” by Lil Nas X following closely behind as an Honourable Mention. In terms of Worst of the Week, it doesn’t actually go to they who shall not or he who should not be named, instead going to the pathetic “Your Song” by Anne-Marie and Niall Horan, with a Dishonourable Mention going to BTS for “Butter”. It’s just “Dynamite” again but with considerably less reason to exist. Here’s this week’s top 10:

If I make it to next week, who knows what’s coming? This is a slower week – hopefully – and I don’t think black midi will chart, though it’d be comical, so I’ll hold off on predictions and just thank you for reading. See you next week!

[biofunmy]

How To Talk To Boomers And Other Older People In Your Life About Fake News

Ben Kothe / BuzzFeed News; Getty Images

This story is part of Protect Your Parents From the Internet Week.

“Look for the magnifying glass icon,” said Patrick Costales as he pointed to a tablet showing YouTube on its screen.

Costales, 15, was teaching Michele Bianchi, 81, how to search for episodes of Bianchi’s favorite Italian TV shows. This was the fifth Saturday in a row they’d met in the basement of a Toronto library so the teenager could show Bianchi how to email, read news, listen to music, and perform other online tasks as part of a program called Cyber Seniors.

After the session, Costales sat next to his friend and fellow tutor, Mareson Suresh, 15, to discuss the online behavior of the older people in their lives. Had they ever seen an adult post something problematic on social media?

“Frequently,” said Costales.

“My mom loves taking pictures, and even if she says she won’t post it, she posts it,” Suresh said. “And the thing is, I don’t follow her on Facebook or anything because I don’t use Facebook, but she’s big on it.”

Be it personal photos or false or inflammatory articles and memes, young people find themselves struggling to manage, and at times confront, the extremely online adults in their lives.

Boomers and older generations are by no means the only people having trouble in our new and chaotic information environment, although research suggests they have the most pressing challenges. Younger people also face difficulty, which is why so many news literacy programs target K-12 and college students. But the rapid pace of change on online platforms — and the lack of widespread reach of programs like Cyber Seniors — have left some older adults struggling to catch up.

“Now what are you going to do about the adults?”

The challenge is to handle the situation in a way that works and doesn’t fray intergenerational relationships, according to Mike Caulfield, director of blended and networked learning at Washington State University Vancouver. He also runs the Digital Polarization Initiative, which pioneers new approaches to teaching information literacy. Caulfield said his students see the need for older people in their lives to learn the skills he’s teaching.

“Students in every class said, ‘This is great, [now] what are you going to do about the adults?’ It’s one of the consistent things that come up. And it’s not half jokingly; I feel like it’s very sincere,” he said. “I do feel when they bring this up, they have very specific people in mind.”

Fortunately, Caulfield and other experts have advice.

So does Suresh, one of the Toronto teens who’s spent weeks helping seniors master the basics of devices and the internet. “Just say it,” he said. “I know it’s weird talking to your family about those specific topics, but it’ll benefit them much more … so you just might as well say it as soon as possible.”

Naomi Harris For Buzzfeed News

Eufemia Bianchi and her husband, Michele Bianchi, take lessons in technology with Patrick Costales and Mareson Suresh at the Toronto Public Library.

Supply the Missing Context

This one might be called the John Cusack Problem.

Last month the actor tweeted a cartoon that showed a hand emblazoned with the Star of David seeming to crush a group of people. Near it was the quote “To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize.” It was attributed to Voltaire, but the line actually originated with white nationalist Kevin Alfred Strom. Cusack, 53, also added his own comment to the tweet: “Follow the money.”

After facing blowback for the anti-Semitic message, Cusack blamed a “bot.” Then he said he didn’t understand the implications of what he shared. “I mistakenly retweeted an alt right account I thought was agreeing with the horrible bombing of a hospital in Palestine,” he tweeted.

Caulfield said it’s common for older people to unwittingly share things that have extremist messages or iconography. “It’s very hard to see people posting stuff that may come from a kind of a dark place that they don’t realize is dark,” Caulfield said. “What do you do when your parents go from posting Minions to posting hard-right memes about cement milkshakes?”

He says it’s important to intervene privately and help the person understand the larger — and more concerning — context.

“There’s a good chance your family member doesn’t understand that and might be horrified at what they’re sharing. And so there’s a point to intervene and let people know, ‘Hey, I know, this was probably not what you meant, but…’”

Keep It Positive and Personal

Experts agree that being non-confrontational is key. Daniel Kent founded Net Literacy, a nonprofit, in 2003 when he was in middle school in Indiana. One of its first programs was Senior Connects, which helps older people get online and gain basic internet skills.

“I think it’s fundamentally about treating [older people] with concern and respect. Recognizing that … perhaps they had the best of intentions, but the execution on their part perhaps wasn’t the most, the most thoughtful and mindful,” he said.

If you do want to say something, Kent and Caulfield suggest engaging in person — or by direct message or phone if that’s not possible. If you call someone out publicly on Facebook or elsewhere, they’re likely to feel attacked or shamed, and you won’t have a chance to hear why they wanted to share a particular piece of content. Understanding where someone is coming from and why they shared or posted what they did is essential, Kent and Caulfield say.

“With our volunteers [we] preach as much empathy as possible,” Kent said.

Naomi Harris for BuzzFeed News

But Don’t Be Afraid to Go Public

While engaging privately is often best, there are cases where you may want to intervene publicly. For example, if an acquaintance is sharing false or misleading information that’s generating lots of engagement.

“You can think of yourself as intervening not really to stop the poster, but intervening on behalf of your friends who are seeing this and may get suckered by it,” he said.

The rule of not being aggressive or confrontational still applies. He suggested acknowledging the original poster’s sentiment, adding to the discussion by sharing an alternate report about the same topic, and saying why it offers a more accurate portrayal.

Get Them to Google (News) It

When someone in your life seems to share information that’s unmoored from reality, try to understand what emotion, opinion, or idea the person is trying to express — and shift them toward a better place to get that information.

“You push them to a better source that is related to their concern,” said Caulfield.

One caveat: If the particular idea or claim is odious or clearly false, it’s not your job to help them express it. “If they’re a white supremacist, don’t validate their concern,” he said. “But if they have a concern that is is somewhat valid, that comes from valid worries, you can empathize.”

“Hey, look, one of these headlines is not like the others.”

Caulfield suggests encouraging the person to search for the central topic or claim on Google News, which exercises control over which websites are included in its database. This helps locate a story from a more credible source that still acknowledges their point of view or emotion.

“Nine times out of 10, you could make your point with a story from USA Today,” said Caulfield. “It might not be the same clickbait headline, but it takes you 10 seconds to go find an [alternate] story.”

This exercise also exposes the person to different headlines about the same topic, helping them see which facts are broadly consistent across different outlets, or not. “There’s just something that is really powerful about going to Google News and scanning those headlines and seeing, ‘Hey, look, one of these headlines is not like the others,’” he said.

Naomi Harris for BuzzFeed News

Eufemia and Michele Bianchi at the Toronto Public Library.

Look in the Mirror

Be self-aware enough to realize you may also not have the best information-consumption habits, either. Practice finding other sources for a story and compare details to learn to spot inconsistencies between coverage. Then share the good stuff. You can also choose to do that instead of intervening with friends and family.

“In most cases, you’re better off sharing new material with family members that will resonate with them or focusing correction efforts on people with bigger platforms than Uncle Rick,” Caulfield said.

Even if some of the adults in your life struggle with what they share, they’re still people with a wealth of knowledge, experience, and love to offer. Suresh, the 15-year-old in Toronto, taught his 79-year-old student, Eufemia Bianchi, many things about her Samsung phone, but it has also been a learning experience for him.

“I feel like one of the biggest things about this program is having a reason to talk to elders, because as teens you don’t have that many opportunities to talk to some of the smartest people in your community, and especially people who have all those life experiences,” he said. ●

Sahred From Source link Technology

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[365footballorg-blog]

Armchair Analyst: Battle of East titans, Darwin's debut & more from Week 7

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April 15, 201810:21PM EDT

“To find out what one is fitted to do, and to secure an opportunity to do it, is the key to happiness.” – John Dewey

As I wrote last week, we’re not quite at “You are what your record says you are” territory just yet. The schedule’s been too imbalanced, the sample size is too small and there are too many other variables – including a still-open transfer window, a still-ongoing continental Cup competition, and a cadre of still-integrating offseason acquisitions.

But while we’re not yet at that truly measurable phase, we have just about hit the point where we’re figuring out if teams are figuring it out. The results are predictably mixed, but at the very least we have an idea of who’s on the road to improvement and who’s on the road to nowhere.

We are just under 20 percent of the way through the 2018 MLS season. There are three exceptional teams (you could argue a fourth depending upon how you feel about the Red Bulls) so far. It pays, at this stage, to be ruthlessly pragmatic about a team’s relative strengths and weaknesses. That way lies happiness.

This Must Be the Place

One of those exceptional teams will be playing in the Concacaf Champions League final on Tuesday night. The other two played in front of 45,000 screaming fans in Atlanta on Sunday night.

Atlanta United’s 2-2 draw against visiting NYCFC was riveting in just about every conceivable fashion. David Villa returned from injury (he’d played tune-up minutes Wednesday in a 4-0 destruction of RSL) and returned to the scoreboard. Ezequiel Barco finally got on the field. Alex Ring scored a golazo. Miguel Almiron was everywhere. The setting and the quality of play were both off the charts, and while the LA vs. LAFC game will linger longer in the minds of MLS fandom, I think this game was the best I’ve seen all year.

There are tons of reasons why, including the above. But the big ones for me were how 1) Patrick Vieira’s gameplan to eliminate central midfield caused the Five Stripes to have to make a major adjustment, and then 2) how they were able to make that adjustment on the fly in order to start pulling the Pigeons apart. 

Through the first 23 minutes the game was something close to one-way traffic, with NYCFC dominating the ball and where either team could use it. That was the point where Almiron, Greg Garza and Leandro Gonzalez Pirez engaged in some on-field problem-solving:

Almiron having to drift toward the flank to get on the ball. Look at Garza pointing where to pass to.

Three minutes later, a similar sequence led to the first Atlanta United goal. Good problem solving with NYCFC taking away central midfield. #ATLvNYCpic.twitter.com/mRacgdcnEA

— Matthew Doyle (@MattDoyle76) April 15, 2018

Almiron was nominally a forward on the day, but NYCFC had so walled-off the midfield that he’d been starved for service and zero percent influential in the first quarter of the game. So then instead of having him drop back into central midfield in order to get on the ball, Almiron started flaring wide while Garza – a wingback – began pinching inside in order to create overloads and suck opposing defenders to him.

You can even see Garza pointing toward Almiron in that clip, telling Gonzalez Pirez where to pass to. A couple minutes later a similar sequence led to the game’s first goal.

NYCFC’s adjustment to Atlanta’s adjustment was twofold. First, right back Anton Tinnerholm stopped going forward, instead acting as more of a distributing hub rather than an overlapping threat. Second, Villa mostly pressed up higher instead of dropping back to get on the ball as they decided “You know, we’re probably good enough to get one if we just play through him, and it’ll give us a little bit more solidity.”

And that’s how you got to the final score of an exceptionally intricate, well-played game. I think these are the second and third-best teams in the league, and I’m pretty sure they just showed us all why. 

Houses in Motion

I’m going to break my own rule and write about a single team in consecutive weeks here (I try to spread the love, but sometimes a story just persists and I feel compelled to keep picking it apart).

In this case, it’s FC Dallas. And FC Dallas are interesting first because they are one of the handful of teams in MLS that, I think, could reach the above level. It’s where they were at 12 months ago, and it’s where they were at for most of the two years prior to that. I’m not sure where they’ve been since mid-July of last year, but “First team in MLS history with back-to-back 60-point seasons” is still in there somewhere.

Secondly, they looked like they figured something out this weekend in a 1-0 win over a pretty feisty New England team. Dallas, as they often do on the road, came out in a low-block 4-4-2 designed for the counterattack. They generated some great chances that way, and Cristian Colman – stop me if you’ve heard this one before – left the bulk of those on the table. (I’d still like to see him get a run of six or seven straight games to see if he can’t find a finishing rhythm, and it’s perhaps telling that when Oscar Pareja had to make a sub to get out of the 4-4-2 and into a front-foot 4-3-3, it was Colman and not Maxi Urruti who stayed on the field).

But yeah, I just gave it away: Pareja changed the game when he changed the formation. Too often folks use “formation” as a stand-in for “tactics,” and it’s important to know that’s bad and wrong. Those are different things with different meanings.

At the same time, they’re often related and on Saturday they definitely were. The goal of going to the 4-3-3 was to push their own midfielders up higher, to close down any easy distribution from New England’s defenders, and to give Wilfried Zahibo one too many runners to keep track of in the final third.

And so…

That’s Jacori Hayes’s first career goal, and he deserved it. He was the best player on the field.

The larger point is that Dallas showed a level of flexibility and intentionality in their approach to this game that’s largely been absent since last summer. They were far from perfect – the Revs had their chances, just like los Toros Tejanos did – and they’ll have to perform better in the coming weeks, and they’ll have to do the above with Mauro Diaz on the field. It’s not going to be easy.

And yet they’ve managed not to lose so far in 2018, which is a big step given how ugly 2017 was. Plus they’ve now collected road points, and they’ve done so in an unexpected but utterly rational way. It was fun and good.

Does this mean Dallas are back, or even that I expect Dallas to get back to where they were before the Big Gloom of the past nine months? I sitll have my doubts. But after that win I’ve got fewer than I did a week ago. FCD seem to know a little bit more about who they’re supposed to be, and few things bode as well as that in the long run.

A few more things to ponder…

10. As I mentioned in the first segment, RSL got killed midweek in a game that was neither as close nor as competitive as the very lopsided scoreline indicates. The Claret-and-Cobalt were completely undone by NYCFC’s decision to use Jesus Medina as a false 9, a tactical shift that highlighted the disconnect between the RSL central defense and central midfield. 

It was more than just tactics, though. RSL didn’t track runners, didn’t close down passing lanes, and didn’t ever seem to work in tandem to clear danger. This is a team that still looks like they’re in preseason.

9. Philly don’t look like they’re still in preseason. They just look like they have no idea how to finish their chances, and that continued to be the case in a soul-crushing 2-0 home loss to Orlando City. Let’s let Montreal Impact and Canada legend Patrice Bernier diagnose part of the issue for the Union:

Forward and Midfield line to distant and spread out. Sapong often gets ball back to goal with no quick options/outlets around box. Could lead to shots from outside box and quick combination play and final pass to wingers also.

— Patrice Bernier (@pbernier10) April 14, 2018

Yup.

After scuffling along through most of March, Jason Kreis has mostly pulled the right levers over the past two weeks. In this case it was giving starts to Stefano Pinho and Chris Mueller, two of the heroes of Week 6’s epic comeback win over Portland. For the Purple Lions it seems like it’s about guys winning jobs, not just losing them – an important and valuable distinction.

8. Friday night’s other encounter was up in Vancouver, where LAFC broke their two-game losing streak and hung a 2-0 loss on the punchless Whitecaps.

Vancouver didn’t have any ideas as to how to consistently advance the ball into the attacking third without Kei Kamara’s knockdowns. So they tried to possess more, and when they did that they opened themselves up to some danger via LAFC’s counter in the other direction.

Ultimately, though, it wasn’t the counter. It was Carlos Vela and Diego Rossi, the two LAFC DPs, doing what they’re paid to do.

By the way, as LAFC have taken nine points from the first five games of their franchise-opening six-game road trip, I’m willing to call said road trip a success no matter what happens in Montreal this coming weekend.

7. The other team in that group of three elites I mentioned are, of course, Toronto FC. They went to Colorado on Saturday, played most of the bottom half of their roster and lost 2-0 to the Rapids.

#COLvTOR summed up in one meme. pic.twitter.com/ybuifwmEw8

— Colorado Rapids (@ColoradoRapids) April 15, 2018

This was a pass/fail proposition for Colorado, with nothing more to be taken out of it than that. They passed. Onto the next one.

6. Three appearances, one start, two game-winning goals for Zlatan Ibrahimovic. There was nothing at all pretty to be taken from the Galaxy’s 1-0 win at Chicago on Saturday as it was played in the driving wind and rain that that gave the Second City its, um, other nickname. 

That said, the Fire’s Dax McCarty is worried.

“That’s what we are,” he said after the game. “We’re below average right now. The results speak to that.”

Chicago are 10th in the East with four points from five games. They’ve won just one out of four at home, which is not great news for a team that traditionally struggles outside of Bridgeview.

5. D.C. United traditionally struggle outside of Washington, D.C., but they did manage to get a win in Annapolis on Saturday, beating the visiting Crew 1-0 at the Naval Academy. It’s D.C.’s last home game for three months, at which point Audi Field will open and they’ll have a big old hole to dig themselves out of in the second half of the season.

Columbus are skidding. They’ve lost three straight and been shut out in three straight on the road. The chances are there, but they’re just pounding the woodwork right now.

While I think they’ll be ok in the long run, it’s probably fair to start asking questions of DP winger Pedro Santos. His movement and vision are fantastic, but he’s managed just 1g/3a in 1688 MLS minutes (regular season and playoffs) which is simply not good enough for a player with his role. Columbus need goals from their wingers or they’ll drop down to the playoff line – and perhaps below it.

4. Yeah so my general take is that the Red Bulls are going to be fine. Tuesday night’s loss to Chivas was among the most disappointing in MLS history for literally any club, but they followed it up by thoroughly outclassing Montreal by 3-1 in Harrison on Saturday. Here, let’s argue about Kaku!

I understand Bobby’s point and, by extension, Jesse Marsch’s. But I’ll stand by my take: In big moments, you need players who have a little bit extra something special, and you need to play your best players in their best spots. To me, starting Kaku vs. Chivas would’ve given the Red Bulls a better shot at both of those.

3. Darwin Quintero’s debut was good stuff for Minnesota United. He got on the ball a ton, scored one goal and basically created the second, was willing and able to combine around the box, should’ve had an assist on a nifty chip to the back post that I still can’t believe Christian Ramirez wasn’t able to rise up for, and was often the best player on the pitch.

But the Loons lost 3-2 at the Timbers. Quintero isn’t going to solve the fundamental question this team’s been trying to answer since their first-ever MLS game (which also happened to be in Portland): Can they defend? So far the answer is a resounding “no.”

Same, by the way, for the Timbers. Portland’s actually conceded more goals than MNUFC this year – 14, which is tied with RSL for league worst. They seemed totally determined to let Minnesota back into a game they should’ve killed off multiple times, the continuation of a trend for Portland in 2018.

2. Our Face of the Week, courtesy of Q:

If your team talk doesn’t include the mascot, is it really a team talk? pic.twitter.com/WZji8psWoj

— Major League Soccer (@MLS) April 15, 2018

San Jose both blew a lead and came back in a 2-2 home draw against visiting Houston. This was a weird, game-state-y game that I felt like the Quakes were controlling for a ton of the time. Jackson Yueill started in central midfield and gave them the ability to spread the field around as they went away from the 4-4-2 and into a 4-3-3, and upon first viewing I thought it worked.

Then I watched it again and… honestly, Houston should’ve won. They generated way more chances – many of them very good – were committed in their movements in the final third, and once again seemed to have clarity with regard to their plan. The Dynamo didn’t seem as interested in “game flow” and “rhythm” as they were in potential decisive moments, and honest to god they won most of those outright.

They just didn’t finish as well as they should’ve. They let San Jose off the hook.

I think the next step for the Quakes is going to be moving Florian Jungwirth back to central defense.

1. And finally, our Pass of the Week courtesy of the other Roldan:

There are few things in this world I love more than a curling, properly weighted outside-of-the-boot pass into space. That was a lovely ball and a lovely goal.

Seattle got off the schneid with their 2-2 draw at SKC, who continue to look more fragile defensively than anyone had a right to think they would. They’re still fine – 14 points from seven games has them top of the West on both points and points per game – but I don’t see a team all that much closer to solving the defensive issues that plagued them throughout the bulk of March.

That might not be fatal in the West playoff race, but it’s something they’ve got to solve in the coming months if they want to have more than their annual token postseason appearance.

#block-block-188 {padding:0;} #stay-connected {border-top:1px solid #ebebeb;margin:20px 0;} #stay-connected p {margin:0;color:#4d4d4d;line-height:1.5em;} @media screen and (max-width: 730px) { #stay-connected {padding:8px 6px 0 6px;width:100%;} } @media screen and (min-width: 731px) and (max-width: 1120px) { #stay-connected {padding:8px 6px 0 6px;width:100%;} } @media screen and (min-width: 1121px) { #stay-connected {padding:8px 6px 0 6px;width:708px;} }

MLSsoccer.com News

Armchair Analyst: Battle of East titans, Darwin's debut & more from Week 7 was originally published on 365 Football

[bookgasms-bookboyfriends-blog]

  Blank bookcover with clipping path

Christmas balls in winter setting,Winter holidays concept.

Christmas background with bright wooden board and fir branches decorated with red and silver baubles and stars – modern, simple and elegant

Three hunging red christmas balls isolated on a white background

BLURBS

Let It Snow – Nikola Christain

Jovie has always avoided the Christmas season. But when she has to spend the holidays in a ski lodge, she meets someone who may inspire her to embrace the season. Or at least the part about meeting under the mistletoe.

Eight Secret Nights – Shoshana David

Someone’s been leaving Hanukkah presents on Mara’s doorstep.  Sweet presents.  Thoughtful presents.  She wonders who her secret admirer is.  Hopefully it’s the cute guy who moved in next door and not the creep from 7A.

A Tradition Worth Continuing – Tricia Ramey

It’s Christmas Eve, and Beth Murphy is finally able to relax.  Now’s the time to enjoy a little downtime with her husband James before the chaos of their descending families the next day. But it’s the gift she has for her husband that will make this Christmas the most memorable one yet.

Kittens For Christmas – Caitlyn Lynch

Regina Brooks thinks finding a box of abandoned kittens on Christmas Eve is a disaster in the making. Fortunately, her hunky neighbor Ric is eager to help her out — in any way he can!

Missing You For Christmas – Moxie Rivers

When Allison’s husband, Jake, can’t get leave, it’ll be her first Christmas without him since they were married. But Allison isn’t the type of person to let that stop her, but with the help of her coworkers, and just maybe a little Christmas magic, it will still be a Merry Christmas.

A Grease Monkey Christmas – Cailin Briste

Fate arranges the chance meeting of two strangers in need of a little kindness on Christmas Eve. Celebrity Davon Weider, with his navy-blue eyes and muscular physique, can fill the starring role in any woman’s fantasy. But Jasline, a spaceport mech, is more impressed by his five jump speed records.

Santa Claus is Coming – Jennie Kew

I don’t dress up as Santa for just anyone, you know? Holly Granville isn’t just anyone. When a massive storm hits our Christmas photo shoot and we’re trapped inside a tiny hut — cold, wet, angry, and naked — our friendship irrevocably changes. But will it be for better, or worse?

The Promise Of Love – Maya Bailey

The year is 1819. He sees a man across a room and it is like seeing himself dressed in a British soldier’s uniform. How could it be that another man bears his face? He had loved her once; she had betrayed that love. Now he must find answers. If only he could do that without laying eyes on her again.

Underneath The Mistletoe – Ava Bari

Police officer Nic Zanetti just wanted to spent a quiet holiday alone with his TV. Then he’s called to find a runaway little girl. When he meets her widowed mother, this Christmas will be one they never forget.

Blizzard – Suzi Frewin

Simon and Fallon find themselves marooned together, fearing for their lives against the Zengwee, an alien species which has dominated Earth for its resources. Neither want the complication of falling in love, but fate and Christmas have other plans.

All I Want for Christmas … is You – Annika Steele

On Christmas Eve, Dr. Victoria Long is determined to take her relationship with Detective Devon King to the next level, maybe even the forever kind. But will their relationship survive when Devon discovers she’s a suspect in a series of thefts?

Christmas is Coming – Liv Honeywell

It’s almost Christmas, and Abby decides to decorate the tree, despite Will, her Dom, telling her to wait. But when she drops his toolbox and all the parts scatter like confetti, she’s left wondering if she’ll be able to sit down by *next* Christmas. What will happen when Will gets home?

New Beginnings – Dana Kenzi

When Erika’s Winter Solstice ritual doesn’t go as planned, it joins her list of worries, right next to her struggles to run her newly acquired business. Then her handsome neighbor, David, drops by to offer her some company. What starts off as a venting session between two frustrated adults leads to a cathartic and pleasurable encounter.

I Fell Through Starlight For You – Keira Fox

It’s the earliest hours of Christmas and Lucille is thinking of closing up her bistro when an enchanting figure comes through her door seeking aid for his injuries.

  EXCERPTS

From Kittens For Christmas by Caitlyn Lynch

Ric looked at Reggie sitting there on the floor next to him, a pair of fools caring for some orphaned kittens early in the morning on Christmas Day, and he wondered if she’d slap his face if he kissed her. She’d fallen asleep on his shoulder mid-sentence earlier, and snuggled up to him with the cutest little sound of protest when he tried to carefully shift her off. In the end he’d just leaned his head back on the couch and dropped off to sleep himself.

Reggie’s brown eyes sparkled as she laughed, and impulsively Ric reached out a hand and touched one of hers, resting lax on her knee.

“Hey. I’m glad I met you coming in tonight. Last night, I mean, it’s morning now…”

Ugh, that was so not smooth. Why does my brain always fail me when I’m talking to an attractive woman?

Reggie was smiling at him, though. “I’m glad, too,” she said softly, and her slight, fine-boned hand turned under his so their fingers interlaced.

Ric’s brain stalled out and failed him completely. He just stared at her hand under his, at least until Reggie let out a soft, husky little laugh. His eyes snapped up to her face – which was suddenly a lot closer.

This is actually happening. He was suddenly as nervous as a teenage boy with his first crush, palms sweating, hands shaking.

Reggie’s lips were soft against his, a light, tentative touch before she pulled back, looking at him with wide eyes.

She can’t be nervous. She’s gorgeous, she could have any guy she wanted. That look of nervous worry, of concern that he might not be into her, absolutely killed him. No way could he let her have that impression, even for one second. So he leaned closer and brought up his free hand to cup her cheek, fingers sliding into her thick ringlets, feeling their springy texture.

“God damn, but you’re beautiful,” he murmured before bringing their mouths back together. He felt her lips curve up in a pleased smile, right before they parted, welcoming in his tongue as he probed lightly.

Ric felt Reggie’s soft sigh all through his body; the little moan she let out as he explored her mouth had his cock hardening in his pants. Her fingers tightened around his before she moved, going to her knees beside him and putting her free arm around him, pulling their bodies flush against each other.

It was Ric’s turn to make a noise, a low hungry groan in his throat as Reggie’s breasts pressed against his chest. Leaning back against the couch, he pulled her with him and she straddled his thighs, settling her groin against his.

“Reggie,” his voice came out a husky rasp as she pulled away from the kiss and ducked down to nip and lick at his neck, finding that sensitive spot in the hollow of his collarbone which made him shudder, hips jerking up involuntarily. “What are we doing?”

“Well,” she paused to swirl her tongue in the hollow of his throat, “right now we’re making out, and since our charges are full of milk and sound asleep, I think we should take advantage of the temporary quiet to go ahead and fuck.”

His eyes, half-lidded with pleasure, flew wide open. “Well,” he said after recovering his composure, “that’s direct.”

Reggie chuckled and leaned back to look him in the eye. “I’m not one to talk around a situation. You’re hot, I’m horny, it’s Christmas, let’s have fun.”

“I think you’ve got it the wrong way round.”

Her brows furrowed adorably, a small line appearing between them.

“You’re hot and I’m horny. But the floor’s too hard and the couch is too small, so how about we take this to the bedroom?”

From Santa Claus Is Coming by Jennie Kew:

“Please tell me that was the last one.”

Holly grins. “That was the last one.”

“Oh, thank God.” I push myself up and out of the driftwood throne I’ve occupied for the better part of the day and stretch the kinks out of my back and shoulders.

Everything hurts.

My back is stiff from sitting for too long, and my thighs hurt from having an endless line-up of kids — and the occasional adult — sit on them all day. My cheeks ache from smiling waaay too much, my ass is so numb I’m not entirely sure it’s still attached to my body, and don’t even get me started on my balls….

Fuck me.

What a day.

When my best friend’s sister invited me to spend the day with her at Melbourne’s iconic Brighton Beach — you know the one, with the long line of brightly painted bathing huts that wedding photographers clamour over — I jumped at the opportunity. Spend the day with the woman I’ve lusted after for years while she parades around in one of those skimpy bikinis she’s so fond of?

Fuck yeah!

And sure, maybe I could catch a few waves while we’re there, show off my very grown-up, non-brotherly physique to the woman who once told me a. she’d never date one of her brother’s mates, and b. she’d never, ever be interested in someone so much younger than her.

Like a ten year age difference made her old or something.

Women!

Anyway, I rock up, surfboard in hand, and what does she do? Hands me a beach bum Santa costume consisting of little more than a pair of boardshorts and a Santa hat, shoves me in front of a camera and starts charging people money to let their precious little darlings crawl all over me and tell me their Christmas wishes. Which, okay — crushed ball-sack aside — was actually pretty cool, especially the kid who wanted total world domination so he could end bullying everywhere. I didn’t have the heart to point out the flaw in his plan, and judging by the look on his dad’s face, neither did he.

“You did a good job today, Chris,” Holly says as she packs away her camera equipment, then laughs. “I can’t wait to show Mikey that shot of the granny in your lap.”

I slip my Santa hat off my head and shove it in my pocket. “I’ll have you know her name was Phillipa, she’s only seventy-five years old, and she said I reminded her of her late husband.”

“She licked your face.”

“She wanted to know if I tasted like him, too,” I say with a grin. “I’d reckon the saucy old dame did it to win a bet, actually. I saw her and her friend exchange a tenner after she collected her photo. And you know Mike hates it when you call him Mikey, right?”

“Of course. Why do you think I do it?” she says with a wink that makes my breath stall in my chest and my legs go weak at the knees. “Seriously, though. Thanks for today. I know I blindsided you with it.”

“You know, you could have just told me what you wanted me for,” I say as I step down from the dais and discreetly adjust my aching package. “It is for charity. And you know us firemen. We love any excuse to take our shirts off.”

She looks up at me from under long, blonde lashes. “After the calendar shoot fiasco I wasn’t sure how willing you’d be to help me.”

Ah, yes. The calendar fiasco. I snort a laugh and shake my head. “I run into burning buildings for a living, Hols. On purpose. Did you really think a little dog shit would keep me away?”

Holly laughs, the full-bodied sound bursting from within her and shaking her deliciously plump figure with the force of it.

Good God, I want to eat her all up.

Starting right between her—

“It was more than a little dog shit. That poor pup had the worst diarrhoea I’ve ever seen. You were covered in it. I have photos. I was thinking of blowing one up and giving it to your mum for Christmas.”

Cocking an eyebrow at her obvious glee, I fold my arms over my chest and grin. “You just love humiliating me, don’t you?”

“Call it a hobby,” she says with a shrug, her pretty mouth curved in a smile of honest good humour. A smile that has my cock twitching with interest as I imagine how those sweet lips would feel wrapped around its rock hard length.

Fuck.

The last thing I need right now is a hard-on. I’m almost thankful for the sudden wind that whips past us, stinging my legs with flying sand.

  From Underneath The Mistletoe by Ava Bari

The officer who’d found her daughter was still there, and Amelia had yet to even acknowledge him. She rubbed her eyes and kept Grace at her hip as she looked up at the taller man… and instantly regretted choosing her most unflattering nightgown to wear to bed.

“Mrs. Eliot, I’m Officer Zanetti,” he said, offering a hand. She tried to ignore how strong his grip was. His hand was huge and completely engulfed hers.

“Thank you so much for finding my daughter, Officer,” Amelia said. “I really can’t thank you enough.”

“It’s all in a day’s work, Ma’am,” he said, his smile bringing her back to her teenage years when she’d fawned over boy band members and actors.

She thanked him several more times as the other cops left and Grace began to yawn and lean heavily on her mother. Deciding to save all punishments until tomorrow, Amelia hoisted Grace into her arms. “I think I’d better get her to bed now.”

Officer Zanetti nodded. “Yeah you should.” He leaned over, catching Grace’s attention. She was half-asleep but awake enough to listen when he spoke. “Stay in bed this time, okay? Remember what we said.”

“Uh huh.” She took the letter out of her pocket and then, for whatever reason, handed it to the officer. “You promise Santa will read it?”

“If he doesn’t, I will read it to him myself,” he swore, as serious as if he had his hand on the Bible.

“Okay, but don’t open it until you see him,” Grace said. She nestled into the thick cottony fabric of Amelia’s nightgown and was asleep in seconds. Amelia gave Officer Zanetti a questioning look.

“Ah yeah…” He rubbed his neck. “I might have told her I work for Santa Claus to get her to come with me.”

Amelia chuckled. Her heart had yet to slow down all the way, but there was something hilarious about this tough guy cop getting embarrassed. “You’re a Christmas elf?”

“A bodyguard, thank you,” he said, affronted.

“That would’ve been my next guess.” He certainly looked the part, as the unhelpful part of Amelia’s brain was quick to point out.

They stood in awkward silence for a time until Grace shifted in Amelia’s arms, reminding her they probably shouldn’t stand outside in freezing cold weather. Officer Zanetti seemed to realize this at the same time. He coughed and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

“Okay, looks like everything is good here. I’ll let you two get some sleep.”

“Would you like some coffee before you go?” Amelia asked. “I feel like I owe you for finding my daughter.”

“Just keep her safe in bed tonight, Ma’am,” he said, walking back to his car. “Have a Merry Christmas.”

“You too,” Amelia called out, but he’d already started his engine, and she had no idea if he heard her.

  THE AUTHORS

The saying goes that “it’s always the quiet ones,” and that is certainly true of Nikola Christain, the sexy personality lurking within a shy, regular woman. When she isn’t living her “normal”, quiet life, she is exploring, experiencing, reading, and writing about it all.

Follow her on goodreads, facebook, tumblr, and through her Amazon author page.

*    *        *

A native New Yorker, Shoshana David loves celebrating her Jewish heritage in her writing. A bit of a late bloomer, she didn’t catch the writing bug until college. This is her first published work.

*    *        *

Tricia Ramey, born in Alberta, Canada, enjoys reading and writing a variety of fiction. Married for sixteen years and counting to the love of her life, she uses her vast imagination and life experience to create rich and detailed scenarios for all her works.

Find her on her Amazon Author’s Page or on Tumblr.

*    *        *

USA Today bestseller Caitlyn Lynch is an Australian author and happily married mother of two. She has a number of published works available on Amazon.

You can also find her at caitlynlynch.com, on Goodreads or Bookbub, or on her Facebook, Twitter, Google +, Pinterest, Instagram or Tumblr social media accounts.

Add your name to her mailing list to find out about new works, be invited to read exclusive advanced reader copies, and more!

*    *        *

Moxie Rivers is an American writer of erotic fiction of all persuasions, living on the Mid-Atlantic coast with her wife and three fat, happy cats. When not writing, she can be found at her crafting table making jewelry or digging in the dirt in her garden. You can find her on Facebook or on Tumblr.

*    *        *

Cailin Briste writes science fiction romance. She’s a member of Romance Writers of America, the RWA Fantasy, Futuristic and Paranormal Chapter, and the RWA Passionate Ink Chapter. She’s writing the third novel in her Sons of Tallav series and the second novel in her A Thief in Love Suspense Romance series.

You can connect with Cailin on her website, her blog, Twitter, Facebook, Google +, Pinterest, Goodreads, Bookbub and Amazon. Join her street team or subscribe to her newsletter for lots more!

*    *        *

Jennie Kew is the author of The Q Collection, a series of quick and quirky erotic romances, as well as the upcoming Bennett’s Bastards series.

You can stalk Jennie on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest, follow her on Amazon and Goodreads, or sign up for her newsletter and get first dibs on new releases, cover reveals and more.

*    *        *

Maya Bailey grew up in India but now resides in Utah with her husband. As a marketing communications professional she has lived and worked all over the world. An eternal optimist, she adores happily-ever-afters and the craft or writing. Regency Romance is her favourite genre.

You can find Maya at her website, on Amazon, Goodreads, Facebook and Pinterest.

*    *        *

Ava Bari is a New York born Midwesterner with a passion for writing, reading, and reading when she’s supposed to be writing. Find her on Tumblr and Twitter.

*    *        *

If the book you just can’t put down is an exciting tale of intrigue with lots of villains, twists, and an awesome romance, then you’ll love Suzi Frewin’s books. As a lifetime reader of romance, she likes more action than promise, so that’s the way she writes. Enjoy.

You can find Suzi on her website or on Twitter.

*    *        *

Annika began writing at the age of eight, but abandoned her stories in college. A ridiculous number of years later, she stumbled across fanfic, put fingers to keyboard, and hasn’t stopped writing since.

Sign up for her mailing list here, check out her website, or follow her on Tumblr or Facebook.

*    *        *

Liv Honeywell is a BDSM erotic romance writer, and when not writing about delicious, hot male dominants and the female subs who love them, she’s usually doing something craft-like, reading, or baking and attempting to satisfy the demands of His High and Mighty Dominance (the cat!).

You can follow her on her blog, on Twitter, Facebook, Goodreads, BookBub or her Amazon page.

Or sign up to her newsletter for freebies, fun, and book news!

*    *        *

Dana Kenzi has been writing fiction for over ten years. Currently, she indulges in her deepest and darkest fantasies to write erotica in her spare time. When she’s not glued to the keyboard, she’s eating, traveling, binge watching TV shows on Netflix, or impulse buying on Amazon.

Find Dana on her website, Twitter, or Facebook, or sign up to her mailing list to receive the latest information about new releases!

*    *        *

Keira always used to joke that she’d end up writing Mills & Boon novels if her career in art didn’t work out. She’s still making art and baking the sweet things that she so often likes to write about, but she decided that she’d like to do the other thing too. She lives and works in a tumbledown cottage in the back of a garden right near the ocean in Western Australia.

Find her on Tumblr.

  PromoSimple Giveaways

Reader giveaway for Kindle Fire:

If you have the PromoSimple WordPress plugin, the code is c6a0

Or you can grab HTML code at the following link: https://promosimple.com/public/embed-codes/id/c6a0

Or link to a hosted page at PromoSimple: https://promosimple.com/ps/c6a0

  Blogger giveaway for $20 Amazon GC:

Please visit the giveaway page at https://promosimple.com/ps/c6a1

    Seasonal Shenanigans Anthology BLURBS Let It Snow - Nikola Christain Jovie has always avoided the Christmas season. But when she has to spend the holidays in a ski lodge, she meets someone who may inspire her to embrace the season.

[hazeldough]

i........ have a lot of feelings about tpodg with the announcement of the film adaption

disclaimer: i’m not mlm, so i can’t speak about that part of its narrative in place of mlm. plus, the film adaption was only recently announced and we don’t really have any details on it except that it exists and is set to have female leads. 

and while i’ve done my share of analysis on the book and some of wilde’s history and really passionate about both, there’s a lot i dont know yet or may be misinterpreting. my opinions and pov about tpodg and oscar wilde are subject to change the more i analyze the book and read about wilde’s life through his writings and the transcripts of his trials, so i’m open to reading other people’s opinion on the novel and film!

also, i got carried away and even busted out the copy i annotated in, so this got super lengthy. it’s mostly me reanalyzing the book after stepping away from it for a few months. 

oh, and spoilers ahead.

(i spent about 2 hours on this and it’s 4:27 am now.......... im already yelling @ a future me who is procrastinating on an essay, looking back at this moment thinking “hey, i wish u could put some of that focus and research into this thing right now” and hey......... hard same, buddy)

anyway.

 i just want the film adaption to not lose the essential themes and messages that come with tpodg and the weight it carried in wilde’s life.

it’s already not the best lgbt rep with its leads being assholes (dorian & henry) or (spoilers) ending up dead (basil). granted, the victorian era wasn’t the best time to make revolutionary strides in normalizing lgbt+ media, but it still was a novel that was written by a gay man that time period, drawing from his own experiences. 

wilde’s works primarily criticized english culture and society’s tendencies to put up a front for the public to save face for their personal lives. 

“My dear fellow, you forget that we are in the native land of the hypocrite.“

“Dorian,“ cried Hallward, “that is not the question. England is bad enough I know, and English society is all wrong. That is the reason why I want you to be fine. You have not been fine.“

Dorian & Basil (Chapter XII)

tpodg was no exception since it featured a lead who was groomed to believing that the downfall of others was the ultimate symbol of his love towards him and was eventually able to abuse/manipulate people on the regular through his charisma and get away with it because of his privileges. 

“Someone has killed herself for love of you. I wish that I had ever had such and experience. It would have made me in love for the rest of my life.“ (Lord Henry Wotton, Chapter VIII)

and it’s not like no one was aware that dorian had major red flags around him. because they did.

“Women who had wildly adored him, and for his sake had braved all social censure and set convention at defiance, were seen to grow pallid with shame or horror if Dorian Gray entered the room.“ (Chapter XI)

“Why is it, Dorian, that a man like the Duke of Berwick leaves the room of a club when you enter it? Why is it that so many gentlemen in London will neither go to your home nor invite you to theirs?... Why is your friendship so fatal to young men? There was that wretched boy in the Guards who committed suicide. You were his great friend.“ (Basil Hallward, Chapter XII)

(that whole paragraph is just basil talking about how men are afraid to be associated with dorian, there’s way more stuff, but i felt that info was enough)

even though there were consistent and frequent rumors that surrounded him. no one believed that this cherub looking guy was the reason that everyone who interacted with him either had their reputation ruined for life or were driven to suicide. 

(spoilers) basil wasn’t an exception to this, not believing that all the rumors surrounding his friend, muse, and for a lack of better term crush were true. he was so blinded by his love that dorian was capable of bringing on ruin ultimately led to his death. 

“But you, Doian, with your pure, bright, innocent face, and your marvellous untroubled youth-- I can’t believe anything against you.“ (Basil Hallward, Chapter XII)

even dorian’s motives in murdering basil was a result of his own misattributions. instead of taking ownership of his own behavior, he placed blame on basil and his portrait instead.

“The friend who had painted the fatal portrait to which all his misery had been due, had gone out of his life.“ (Chapter XIII)

and when dorian was close to confessing what he had done to his confidant, the person arguably more responsible than basil for leading him to his lifestyle? he didn’t believe dorian either.

"What would you say, Harry, if I told you that I had murdered Basil?”

(...)

“I would say, my dear fellow that you were posing for a character that doesn’t suit you. All crime is vulgar, just as  all vulgarity is a crime. It is not in you, Dorian, to commit a murder. I am sorry if I hurt your vanity by saying so, but I assure you it is true. Crime belongs exclusively to the lower orders. I don’t blame them in the smallest degree. I should fancy that crime was to them what art is to us, simply a method of procuring extraordinary sensations.“

(Dorian & Lord Henry, Chapter XIX)

after stepping away from the book for a few months, i feel like some reevaluation is due. i initially approached the book thinking that it would end up with an ambiguously happy ending, having only heard slivers about it and knowing that it was written by a gay man. i guess the part of me that’s very invested in good redemption arcs and lgbt books in ap eng lit just wanted a book to read that didn’t feature weak character development and/or heteronormative relationships. the closest books i got were their eyes, atss, and tpodg.

but now that i’m looking back at it, most likely unpopular opinion: i personally think that tpodg isn’t a lgbt story. (even if it was, it’s not the best representation for lgbt characters since it has a lot of tropes that we now see as overused and negative) 

to me, it’s just a story that has lgbt characters. meaning that while the novel focused on dorian, it focused on his morality, not his sexuality. dorian knew who he liked, since it was heavily implied that dorian had male and female lovers. the story wasn’t focused on his romantic or sexual relationships, but on how his morals took a nose dive as he developed into a grade-A fuck boy using his multiple failed relationships as evidence of that.

i’ve come to understand that character development doesn’t always mean getting a redemption arc. good character development is a character starting from point A and actively moving towards point B with minor interference by other characters. most of the time, it’s a character going from morally neutral/bad to good. this time, it’s a character going from neutral to bad.

i do agree that there’s a huge imbalance of lgbt characters being portrayed as predatory and abusive instead of flawed and needing of development, adding on to preexisting homophobia that’s rampant in most cultures. i also agree that there needs to be more positive representation of lgbt characters, by lgbt people, for lgbt people. 

at the same time, tpodg was written before we could even safely discuss and address these issues in public. i’m saying that because wilde got straight up jailed for “gross indecency” for just being a gay man existing. but i don’t think wilde was unaware of the repercussions he’d face when he stated that being gay was normal. most of his works were about calling out the hypocrisy of english society. even in his own testimony at trial, he stated:

"The Love that dare not speak its name" in this century is such a great affection of an elder for a younger man as there was between David and Jonathan, such as Plato made the very basis of his philosophy, and such as you find in the sonnets of Michelangelo and Shakespeare. It is that deep, spiritual affection that is as pure as it is perfect. It dictates and pervades great works of art like those of Shakespeare and Michelangelo, and those two letters of mine, such as they are.”

full quote and transcript found here

wilde was fully aware that he was going to be imprisoned for being gay and accepted it. not because he was ignorant of how society functioned, but because he knew how it functioned. and he was right. and i want to say that he was aware of this even when he was writing tpodg (which was about 4-5 years before his trials took place).

even if tpodg was going to be portrayed with male leads, the film would be in an era with a new perspective about mlm relationships. homophobia is still rampant in multiple societies, but lgbt people and mlm in particular have more of a voice and agency to defend themselves, look for, and create media that is representative of their experiences without needing to pander to heterosexual audiences. it still isn’t perfect, knowing that mlm still have trouble telling their stories in a field dominated by straight women who only see to use them as objects for fetishization instead of helping them create a safe platform to be heard.

basically, wilde’s context for writing tpodg is drastically different from how it can be interpreted and discussed today vs how it was in his time. based on that, i’m inferring that if writing a negative, heavily implied mlm relationship was deemed criminal enough as it is, i imagine he would have faced even more horrible punishment for writing a positive relationship between two men.

at the moment, we know nothing about the direction the film is going to follow, other than that it’ll be female-led. and, judging from the recent string of female led films (ghostbusters & oceans eight), i’m going to safely assume it’ll be a dominantly female cast, with dorian, basil, and henry being portrayed by women, and them all being wlw. (there’s a better word to describe this, it starts with a p, but it’s 4 AM now and i’m losing steam)

i’m not saying that the movie is going to be free from homophobic comments, but i am saying that it’ll face more criticism for not accurately portraying SGA (same gender attraction) relationship more than it featuring a SGA relationship at all.

even with the lack of information, i feel like if i’m going to be consistent about an opinion it’s this: the any adaption can do is to keep elements of the book while being cognisant of its perspective and purpose.

at the same time, i do want the film to deviate from the novel by being more open about the leads’ sexuality while also addressing the tropes that’s present in the society its set in and how it affects the narrative. 

to me, the film doesnt have to be a carbon copy of the novel, it just has to have the same vibe the book gave and to do that, it has to be aware of the issues wlw face in society today but also integrate it into the victorian era setting.

...yes, i know it sounds really confusing but i’ve spent around 2 hours on this already and it’s currently 4:24 AM. i’m doing my best my sleep deprived and coffee fueled brain can do atm. but again, i’m open to discuss this when i’m more put together and see more perspectives on the film adaption.

i am aware that there might not be enough elbow room for that to happen since society’s still pretty homophobic (albeit, not as much as before) as well as time constraints that come with adapting a book to a movie. still though, it’s something i’m interested to see be executed properly.