#it would. be. so funny.

[dayurno]

huh!

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Knowledge Revenge.

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[inkskinned]

she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.

my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.

my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.

my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.

at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.

my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.

i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.

two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.

it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.

[aniisol]

mumbo thinks he could beat most the irl hermits in a fistfight. okay. let's see. welcome back, my name is grian and today we're all gathered here to kick off a brand new life series in the middle of this actual forest

[littlelightfish]

Funny things I found out playing with language setting in Netflix while looking episode 15:

Chilchuck's scream sounds HAUNTED in brazilian portuguese. Give it a try if you can.

(You can hear it here)

In spanish dub, Senshi says: "tocó mis senos de hombre", which means "he touched my man boobs" in Spanish. And I think that's the best dub line one so far.

[ipad-baby-armand]

Cute date idea

[beebfreeb]

[daftmooncretin]

spock’s room decor is actually fucking bonkers. The weapons??? the big red velvet curtain??? like ok phantom of the opera go crazy.

for reference jim’s room has some photos and a plant so we can surmise this is uniquely a spock being a dramatic weirdo thing

[brown-spider]

Hey remember how Noir is an anti-fascist from 1933

[doctorsiren]

Gravity Falls AU where everything is exactly the same except Bill’s parents are alive and well, and they’re just so proud of their chaotic dream demon son

[notherpuppet]

Role reversal AU

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

elita pep talk

[sixthrock]

reminder

[spyglassrealms]

had a fucking hilarious dream that tumblr replaced the "block" function with the far funnier "glock" function, which did the exact same thing except whenever anyone blocked you a random bullet hole, like a png of a bullet hole, would appear on your blog. discourse blogs were unreadable bc you'd go to the page and the sheer amount of bullet hole pngs stacked over the blogs obscured everything. I woke myself up laughing

[adoringmha]

doing that tik tok trend with katsuki where your bf ranks how mad he would be if another man touched you in different ways from 1 to 10...pls

the first image is someone squeezing your cheeks with one hand.

katsuki's jaw clenches, "no one would even be able to get that close to you."

you roll your eyes with a smile. "just imagine."

"then i'd blast his hand off." he blinks, serious as ever.

"you're not supposed to say what you'd do to them, you have to rank it."

he practically snarls. "one."

you laugh. "baby you have to be serious."

he cuts his eyes to you from the side. "does it look like i'm joking?"

"you have 10 things to rank, babe. i guarantee you that's not the worst thing you'll see."

he mutters to himself, "why did i agree to this." he sighs. "fine, four."

second, someone giving you a massage.

you swear, his eye twitches. "i'd break both his arms."

"that's not––"

"don't care." katsuki says matter of fact, adding his own rule to the game. "three."

third, you sitting in someone's lap, facing them.

he turns to look at you, offended.

you laugh, "why are you looking at me like i actually did it?"

he rolls his eyes. "tch, i'd break his kneecaps." he crosses his arms. "fucking one."

you sitting on someone's shoulders.

he runs a hand over his face in disbelief. "i'd knock him out, there's no way. why the fuck?-" he shakes his head. "two."

you stifle a laugh.

someone giving you a bath.

"immediately fucking no."

"katsuki-"

"they're all one, fuck it. we're done with this dumbass game."