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jaeedraszaerysz · 1 year ago

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JOHNNY, BAM, STEVE-O, CHRIS AND RYAN WITH A NORTHERN ENGLISH S/O

Notes: this might have some more teesside oriented aspects so I apologise and I try to keep it as neutral as possible while still writing decent shit ✨️

Warnings: swearing, injury (obv u fuckin dumbass), sexual references??

JOHNNY KNOXVILLE

Will 100% dress up in a suit and take you to a fancy ass restaurant while working his shittiest English accent

Got confused as fuck when you started using any slang/roadman terms

Defos uses words wrong

Went round calling everyone wanker for a full day

Thought chav was a fucking food at first defos

LOVES HEARING U SPEAK

will listen to u chat for hours

MY DAYS HES OBSESSED

So let's say jackass came to England yea

And u went up north to visit ur mates and stuff yea

Wouldn't understand a fuckin thing u was on about if u were talking to your mates

Thought a parmo was a sex move and was GOBSMACKED

He defos went to a pub with u and the guys and they got the piss ripped of them by a bunch of sweaty geezas in their 50s 😭

Take him to any beach and you will 100% have to restrain him from jumping of the end of a pier into a bunch of rocks

Caught onto u saying innit so much and now says it unironically and the guys have a laugh taking the mick out of him

Poor sod

But he's devoted to you

Defos would make roadman and chav skits w u outside a maccies or a tesco extra

BAM MARGERA

Asking if u know every single British rockstar to ever exist

Was confused when u told him it was almost 5 hours from London to anywhere near ur gaff

Got scrapped by a bunch of year 7s outside a one stop if u took him to England

Takes the mick out of yu in a cute way

Copies ur words

DEFOS TOLD JOHNNY TO PACK IT IN ONCE AND U WERE FUCKING CREASING

Told him u met Janick Gers from iron maiden and had drinks wiv him in the pub one time and he almost diedddd.

You could defos persuade him to dress up in a Adidas traccy and run fru ur local shopping center screaming sweet Caroline and tripping over eachother

you took him to hmv?

Big mistake

He never wants to leave

Defos has all the badges and posters

Spent an hour minimum sat on the floor with you looking at the band t shirts

Would complain constantly about weather but would kiss you in the rain

Got stuck in a shitty kids swing at the park

CHRIS PONTIUS

Lives for your voice

Copies ur every word

If u took him to ur hometown he would cling onto your arm and NOT let go

Called someone a geezer at a local boots and got scrapped

Yano them rando tarzees kids make out of rope and stuff but their always like 50 meters of the ground?

He found one

Jumped off

Flew like a mufucken bird

BEANS ON TOAST

WHAT AN INVENTION

His mind was opened to the 4th dimension that day

Imagine he pulled a party boy stunt in the town center

GOT CALLED A NONCEWING BY A BUNCH OF CHAVS

Wore a tie everywhere u went while u were their

Says oh my days religiously now

Fails a stunt? Oh my days

Trips? Oh my days

Bam pulls a rocky on him? Oh my fucking days

LOVES YOU SM THO

His little English, tea drinking princess

STEVE-O

Steve-o lived in England for alot of his childhood, always on the move so he was a bit more calm than most

BUT CAUSE HE WAS FROM DOWN SOUTH AND YOU UP NORTH THAT DONET STOP HIM

makes fun of northern chavs and compares them

Says the North is like a diff country all together js on account of the people and the weather

Thinks ur footie teams r shite

Defos got kicked up the arse for that one

Meal deals man

His fave thing after you

Esp from tescos

LYNX AFTERSHAVE IS HIS THING OMFS

Understands some British slang but is still confused by majority of ur convoz with people from ur home town

TAKE HIM TO FLAMINGO LAND

INSTANT MAYHEM

Sold gimicky vapes to some year 8s and fucking pissed himself laughing when they realised

RYAN DUNN

Swears at everyone with "posh words"

Wanker, bell-end, twat, muppet, cunt.

Picked up the accent on the words too

Fucking fab tha

GOT APPROACHED BY A PROZZIE

was terrified

Defos asked where her teeth were and got chased off

Thinks corner shops in England r the best thing ever

Manjaros? The takeaway not the mountain?

LOVED IT

DONNER KEBAB ✨️💅

Has been chased by council estate grannies for shoving you into people's gardens

Sat with you at the top of those shitty rope climbing frames in the park and u had a legit romantic moment

SPOILER ALERT! bam got photos of u kissing up there

Yano them random tunnels under the main roads yea?

Went down them wiv u and u ended up in a field with him laying on your chest and looking at the stars

#jackass x reader #jackass x british reader #england #johnny knoxville #bam margera x reader #johnny knoxville x reader #ryan dunn x reader #steve o #steve o x reader #chris pontius x reader

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kai5621 · 4 years ago

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Deja vu [Heisenberg x OC]

Warning: age gap, slow burn, platonic to romantic relationship. Grammer issues (english is my first language criiii) . Child abuse, family abuse, death (not major character ). Eventual smut (maybe?）

Note: OK !!!! SO after drawing a bunch of RE8 OCs I finally could resist my self writing my own story about it. Cuz damm Heisenberg stole all my heart and I have no complains about it.

This is my first time writing a fanfic, so I will try my best !! And lastly-----

HEISENBERG DESERVES SOOO MUCH MROE LOVE.

And here’s a little potrait thet I drew for the oc (as for why I didn’t draw heisenberg as well, is bcuz im shit at drawing males ┭┮﹏┭┮)

The first time Heisenberg met Erin, she was only eight, can barely reach his waist and always be smiling everyday, like an every single child would at her age. She came to this shitty village with her dad, which claims to be her only family member. They are obviously foreigners to the villagers, as no one remembered there’s anyone in this place would have a such strong British accent, therefore they must be new.

Their family history has remained a mystery to most of them, oddly enough, only a few people who are about eighty or ninety years old do recall their family name, and were quite surprised to see that Erin’s father is back here again. Although every single one of them would shoot him with fierce glances that are not so friendly, even towards Erin. Except for Luiza, but even though her kindness was mainly for the poor little girl.

“I don’t understand, Charles. If you decided to leave this place before with such determination, why bother came back?” She asked her father sternly, while watching Erin just quietly standing behind him. She was thin, with a long, dark raven hair tied into a loose pony tail. But she does look endearing, those big, innocent watery eyes could gain everyone’s sympathy.

“That’s none of your business, and why does it even matter to you?” He seemed annoyed when answering this question, he roughly grabbed Erin’s wrist, without looking any of the people here, he just simply left, leaving others remain in silent confusion. Some younger villagers did ask Luiza about Erin’s origin, but all the time she just shooked her head, signed heavily.

“May mother Miranda bless that little girl. She does not deserve such man as her father.....”

Of course, Heisenberg would never missed such local news from the village. He did pay a visit to the new “guests” before informing Miranda and his siblings. The appearance of new faces surely hooked his curiosity quite high, but to be honest, he doesn’t even understand why he was that excited, as surely they would probably just end like the locals here, worshiping Miranda like she’s an actual god, and then would went missing mysteriously but eventually end up on her cold, metal operating table, with chest being cut open, blood splatters all around the body, while the Cadou parasite just devouring the remains.

Didn’t someone mentioned the family also has a daughter? Ah, then perhaps that lucky little thing would go to his sister’s castle and can becomes one of the “maid”. Just another victim, Heisenberg thought to himself, he could not hide his grin back. Holding his hammer at the back of his shoulder, he walked quickly to that infamous cottage where the new family is settled, a few quite whispers can be heard during his journey, the villagers were all surprised to see the presence of the metal lord, and naturally inquiring behind his journey.

Just like before, Heisenberg ignored all of them,

When he finally reached the shabby wooden door, of the cottage, he didn’t even bother knocking, just pushed the door wide open violently, using his ridiculous strength meanwhile announcing his arrival.

“Well, well, there’s been news all around the village about the new family, and I thought I could a pay a little visit, to get to know the new members! You are welcome, by the way......”

But when all he saw was a little girl standing by the dinning table, looking confused and stunned at him, his smug smile disappeared quickly, and even the eyes behind his dark specs were filled with momentary surprise.

“Uh, sir?” She asked quietly, putting the tray of cookies down on the table in a panic.

“Are you.... my father’s guest? I’m really sorry, he will be a away for a quite long time, and I’m not sure if.....”

He stood there for a moment, and then realized that she must be the daughter, although she’s much much younger than he anticipated. He cut her off before she finished the sentence : “Huh, so you don’t know who I am ?”

She looked so lost, after blinked her eyes a few times, she nervously said : “Sorry sir, I’m afraid I don’t.”

Heisenberg was never good with children, never, he didn’t really know what to do, after all he wasn’t expecting to meet a child who probably doesn’t even know what a dick is. So, they just stood where they were before, and staring at each other awkwardly in silence, to a point that even the little girl started to feel uncomfortable. She looked around quickly, trying to find something that could resolve this situation, then her eyes fixed on the tray of cookies on the table.

“Um, maybe...do you want to have a cookie, sir?”

The man with the hammer went speechless, he coughed a few times, put his hammer down next to the door frame, and blankly replied back with a tiny bit of fluster.

“Alright then. ”

It was fucking ridiculous.

Heisenberg would never imagined himself sitting in a old cottage, eating chocolate cookies and drinking teas like a normal human, while chatting with an eight years old girl.

Yes, he’s never good with kids, why would he? Being brought by a psycho bitch means he shouldn’t have any sympathy towards anything, everyone in this village had a good taste about his temper before, even his “Lord” title makes it too intimidate for anyone to have any contact with him. Thus, he never had a decent conversation with anyone else besides his cursed family. Frankly speaking, they were not really conversations, more like endless quarrels.

He had a quick look around in the room, when Erin went to the kitchen to make tea. This place is shabby, there’s no doubt about it. No painting, no decorations, only an old wool blanket laying down on the floor of the living room. He could see a few photo frames on the bookshelf, cover by dusts. He tried to have to closer look, but all he could see was three people standing together, presumably a family photo that was taken a long time ago.

“Here’s your tea, sir. And there’s milk and sugar.” She was holding a big tray, walking carefully towards table and almost got tripped by the chair. Heisenberg almost chuckled at her clumsy yet cute actions, but he remained silent, and finished his ninth cookie.

“Well, thanks, little one.” He said simply, then started to sip his tea. He saw Erin was standing next to the table like a lost little lamb, he can’t help but chuckled a bit, gesturing her towards the seat across him.

“ Oh come on, no need to be so frightened! I won’t eat ya.”

She was a bit hesitate at first, but eventually took his offer, sit across the table facing him. Although the teapot blocked half of her face.

“So....” Heisenberg started again, with his smug smile back on his face: “You are new here aren’t you, with your family.”

“Yes. Me and my father came a week ago, from England. But he used to live here, at least that’s what I know. ”

That made his curiosity even higher. An outsider, that originally lived here, how interesting, and how did they even escaped this twisted place.

“Where’s your father now?”

This question let her seemed a bit troubled, she shooked her head, looking disappointed : “I don’t know, sir. He said he’s busy, and that’s it.”

His grin became wider: “And didn’t your daddy tell you, that do not let strangers come into your house while you are alone?”

To his surprise, she did not seem scared, but instead she tilted her head as she was a bit confused, and answered him back politely.

“But I didn’t let you in, sir. You just opened the door and, broke in........”

Heisenberg burst into laughter right after he heard this answer, it was really loud, even the teapot and the cups on the table started to shake a bit, but thankfully Erin didn’t notice, she was completely stunned by his reaction and didn’t know what to do. She thought she probably offend him by saying that. But the truth is, Heisenberg is not mad at all, this child’s unintentional boldness is exactly what he likes.

“ Oh yes! I did break into your house, and aren’t you scared?”

“Should I be scared?” She calmly asked him back, filling his cup again with more tea. “I was tho, but you seem like a nice guy. At least I don’t think a bad person would eat my cookies and having tea with me. If you want harm me you would've done this way earlier.”

He could have so much fun with this kid, Heisenberg though to himself. An outsider was rare enough on its own, no praying, no worshiping, and he won’t hear all those “Miranda bless us” shit. Although, it’s quite ironic that his first decent conservation in 20 was held with a freaking child.

But he’s not complaining. He finished his tea, looking around the room for the last time then shoot his glance back on her. He stood up, ignoring the girl’s skeptical look, Heisenberg chuckled a bit.

With that, he simply waved his hand, and left the house.

“Well, thank you for your service little one, I’m afraid I must got now. But I’m sure we will meet again soon.”

He grabbed his hammer by the door frame, opened the door in a swift motion.

“And send my greetings to your father, will you, little one?”

#karl heisenberg x reader #heisenberg x reader #heisenberg x oc #karl heisenberg #heisenberg x you #karl heisenberg fanfic

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arden-in-the-garden · 5 years ago

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Racism on PokeFarm Q

So! This is gonna be a long post, so i’ll be putting all of the content below a read more cut. The gist is that the staff of PokeFarm Q are racist and do not give a single fuck about the Indigenous communities, and explicitly stated they will not even attempt to do anything about cultural appropriation. In the past staff members have also voiced their lack of support for the BLM movement. I’ve gathered transcripts and screenshots from the conversation between myself and the member that started this and between myself and staff.

tw for below the cut: ment. of r*pe, ment. of cannibalism, the word wendig*ag repeatedly uncensored, racism ment., cultural appropriation ment.

This morning I came across a user by the name of TrüêWêndïgø, and they were messaged in regards to their username

ArdenInTheGarden 09/Jun/2020 08:13:03 (1 hour ago) Hey, are you Alqonquin/Anishinaabe? TrüêWêndïgø 09/Jun/2020 08:17:17 (1 hour ago) I am an Algonquian Wendigo if that is what you are asking. Why? ArdenInTheGarden 09/Jun/2020 08:20:10 (1 hour ago) Figured I'd ask. There a lot of non-Natives that use the term for Wendig*ag trivially, and I promised nA friends that if I saw it I'd check on it, and to help try and deter its usage TrüêWêndïgø 09/Jun/2020 08:23:39 (1 hour ago) I am kinda obsessed with the Wendigo, so I read about them a lot. I am Australian, so if I have gotten this wrong in any way, I would like to correct myself. I hope I am using it correctly ArdenInTheGarden 09/Jun/2020 08:26:59 (1 hour ago) Ahh, let me help you out then! They're, like, NOT something to mess with. They're feared, through and through, to the point where speaking or even writing the name is forbidden (which is why it's usually censored). They're not able to be befriended or tamed or worked with; they are the pure form of evil distilled into a physical being, often from greed or due to cannibalism! They're definitely not the kind of thing to be revered or messed with, they're just evil, straight up. I don't think you can change your username, but I'd discourage you from using it in the future, especially as a non-Native TrüêWêndïgø 09/Jun/2020 08:30:46 (1 hour ago) I have already accepted death because I got a wendigo oc. I only discovered the creature becuase my oc was made before I learnt about them. My unusual deerman with the taut skin and a thirst for blood. I apologise if I upset anyone with my username. ArdenInTheGarden 09/Jun/2020 08:34:52 (56 minutes ago) Fwiw the, like, "fanon" (not the right term but you know what I mean?) depiction of them has no root in any of the beliefs? No one really knows where that came from (except, like, white people trying to steal things that aren't theirs and mainstream religious figures for their own gain) So your OC can very well just be an angry bloodthirsty deer man that isn't infringing on First Nations beliefs and appropriating from a closed belief system not open to outsiders. I doubt you meant any harm, but I'd STRONGLY encourage you to not use the term or name in the future TrüêWêndïgø 09/Jun/2020 08:43:15 (47 minutes ago) I mean, I didn't try to steal anything, I just think the creature is awesome, kinda like the Sirenhead thing. I love to learn about mythology and legends. I think the only problem is that I've used the term Wendigo too much, and once again, I am sorry for that. I respect wishes and all that, but me learning about the creature and having my oc being a Wendigo kinda helped me through bad times. I like to create art [stories or drawings] keeps me happy. Again, sorry, but I would like to continue using the term. Only because of an oc. I understand how disresptectful I am, and I understand if you don't like this, but I'm not trying to upset anyone. ArdenInTheGarden 09/Jun/2020 08:50:10 (40 minutes ago) "but please sir, that's my comfort cultural appropriation and misuse of First Nations beliefs". Like,,,yeah, it is really disrespectful. You're using it wrong, and it's not open to you, and you can't use it. Comparing it to Sirenhead is also REALLY disrespectful? Like, you're taking a sacred piece of a belief system and equating it to a shitty Internet monster :/ I obviously can't force you but you're wrong and you're well aware that you are, and you're being selfish and unkind :// you need to stop, and I've been really nice about this and handling it because I know Natives are tired of having to do it, but please do not mistake my kindness and composure as a sign you can continue because you cannot.

Unfortunately I was unable to get screenshots of this conversation before my account was locked. Screenshots of the rest are available.

I filed a support ticket with the staff regarding it, which received no response

About an hour later I was greeted with this error, stating my account had been locked indefinitely for harassment and violation of the PG rule

I filed a second support ticket in order to appeal my account being locked and give an explanation to the staff. The following is the conversation between myself and Eltafez

It's 4:30 in the morning so forgive my ineloquence.

My language might have been slightly harsh in PMs with TrueWend*go, but they were violating the rules and have an inappropriate username and are flagrantly disregarding the racist roots their actions have. The Native community in every part of the world has faced consistent harassment and dealt with their culture being slandered, torn apart, erased, and what was left being stolen by people to use as a fun culture symbol or as a "sPoOkY mYtH". They are glorifying a being that is rooted entirely in evil and is the embodiment of the worst a person is capable of. They have created an identity around a creature of cannibalism, of r*pe, of greed, and of violence. They disregarded the polite explanations of the ramifications of their actions and the benefit of the doubt that they did not know what they were doing. By locking my account for this, you are sending the clear message that you care more for not rocking the boat than defending Native belief systems. As a US resident, I am already witnessing the brutal effects of silencing those speaking out against racism. You are aligning yourselves with oppressors. I will agree that my defense was perhaps overzealous. Moderators on many other sites I have been on have failed entirely in the past to defend the Native community and I was frightened this case would be the same and reacted strongly. I am still afraid this is the case as I am the one punished and they are, at last checked, still free to continue. Please unlock my account. If I am unavailable on the PMs, I can be reached at [REDACTED] for further discussion.

Eltafez — 09/Jun/2020 12:21 The staff of PFQ do not condone or support any form of racism. In fact, the team is comprised of people living all over the world. Quite a few among us (myself included) are from a different culture and/or race. You're offended by a name - I'd like to counter that by saying you're offending the staff team by accusing us of something we're not. Cultural appropriation is something we cannot (and will not) enforce due to the sheer magnitude of it. You see books, movies, games - everywhere really, that handle mythical creatures and even real gods (take Egypt, Greece, Rome, ... to name a few). Like human beings, they develop and change over time. We can't lock someone for having the name Anubis or Iuno because there once existed a civilization that coined these names or terms. There's a public beach called "Wendigo Beach Resort" - if the term is so inappropriate, then why is it called that? The user you reported has done nothing wrong - our rules, as they're written, have not been broken. The site is British and it follows British laws. You, however, have broken them by harassing the user and mentioning words that are actually inappropriate in the English language. We are fine with people spreading awareness, but it stops when they try to force their own beliefs unto others.

The name of W"ndigo Beach is actively being fought by the Native community. It's not the "gotcha!" you think it is. The term is used (inappropriately) by garbage human beings who have gotten away with it and will continue to do so because of people like you who will never uphold any kind of justice for anyone but themselves. You have failed. You have failed, and you have defended your failure by attempting to deflect it. This is not the same as having the name of Old Gods. This is having a name equivalent to celebrating the lynching of the African American community. This is a name equivalent to saying "I support Nazis". This is a name that is, at its core, supporting pure evil. Your staff may be "diverse" but it is obviously still filled with narrow minded individuals who will step on the nA community to try and boost themselves. I am saddened. I am disgusted. I hope none of you are in any real position of authority around children because you are teaching them to do that which the British have always done: destroy, disregard, deflect. You have failed, and will continue to do so until you are capable of looking past your own biases to realize that you are wrong and you are disgusting in your defense of the status quo instead of justice.

Eltafez — 09/Jun/2020 18:06 Since it doesn’t look like your mind is going to change, I’ll do us both a favor and bid you a good day.

Gargle my dick and balls

And thus ended all communication with staff

Don’t let them get away with this, and don’t let them get away with thinking that they can do whatever they like (or nothing) without any consequence. Idleness is complicity, and they are sending the dangerous message that racism is tolerated. “We don’t support racism in any form” and “we’re not gonna do anything about cultural appropriation tho” cannot co-exist.

#pokefarm #pokefarm q #eltafez pokefarm #eltafez pokefarm q #racism tw #racism #cultural appropriation #wendig*ag

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rorybergstrom · 5 years ago

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𝑫𝑰𝑫 𝑺𝑶𝑴𝑬𝑩𝑶𝑫𝒀 𝑶𝑹𝑫𝑬𝑹 𝑨 𝑩𝑰𝑺𝑬𝑿𝑼𝑨𝑳 𝑹𝑶𝑳𝑳𝑬𝑹𝑺𝑲𝑨𝑻𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑺𝒀𝑵𝑻𝑯 𝑳𝑶𝑹𝑫 ???

hello, it’s nora again…. hitting u with another child. a south london-born softboi who deserves tenderness. has a burner phone and doesn’t use social media. does techno dj sets. plays the synth loudly through the night if u live in gorham his room always sounds like a space ship just landed. deals weed around campus on his rollerskates. hates that he can’t get new light up wheels because ana coto made rollerskating cool again. as is tradition, here’s the pinterest board. this intro is recycled?? so if theres mistakes, sue me??? and be sure to like and subscribe for more unboxing content x

application.

『 FIONN WHITEHEAD ❙ DEMI-MALE』 ⟿ looks like RORY BERGSTRÖM is here for HIS JUNIOR year as a MUSIC TECHNOLOGY student. HE is 23 years old & known to be ECCENTRIC, FANATICAL, NITPICKY & DOGMATIC. They’re living in GORHAM, so if you’re there, watch out for them. ⬳ ooc name. age. tz. pronouns.

aesthetics.

bed hair from a permanent state of slumber, calloused fingertips from strumming bass into the early hours and djing into the blacklit night, self-help books thumbed once and thrown beneath your bed, battered copies of choose your own adventure books, spliffs passed half-arsed across rooftops while light pollution obscures low-hanging stars, marxist literature in stacks against your bedroom walls, a burner phone twice-shattered and a stash of replacement sim cards.

tw ocd, anxiety, drugs

half-swedish, half-british. the swedish is on his mother’s side. he’s bilingual but thinks in english. only really speaks swedish around his mother. only child, and kinda put a lot of pressure on himself to be the perfect kid when he was young, but his parents are honestly, quite decent? and just want him to have a nice life, they don’t care if he isn’t successful or rich or anything, they’re honestly rather solid. (wow imagine having nice parents, a first for all my characters, im literally this meme)

grew up in peckham, a suburb of london. growing up, his mum was a model / actress / waitress who later retrained as a speech therapist and his dad worked in her majesty’s service at buckingham palace. his dad wasn’t allowed to tell his family what his job entailed but rory suspects it’s probably very boring and just involves a lot of…. logistics n security.

was bullied a lot at school. [cole sprouse voice] he didn’t fit in and he didn’t want to fit in. unironically wore a trenchcoat to school every day of his life. spent most of his lunchtimes in the library because it was his safe space. as a result he knows…. loads of useless information because 30% of his school years were spent reading anthologies on space and the vikings etc. would be good on a game show. obsessively recorded every episode of university challenge as a child.

middle-class and lowkey quite wealthy but rarely talks about money, one of those well-off people who still wears really old shitty shoes and only spends money if they absolutely have to

virgin who can’t drive

into star wars, not into the big bang theory. feminist. can’t watch horror movies

favourite film is where the wild things are. also loves the florida project. thinks kids are the sweetest thing and can’t wait to be a dad to some. right now is dad to one cat, whose name changes on a daily basis (identity is constantly shifting, duuuuude), but they were originally named ‘wheezer’

rory has been musical for as long as they can remember. first picked up guitar because he thought it would make this girl esther who he was in love with like him, but he just ended up falling in love with music instead.

formulated several different bands as a kid but ultimately had to give it up cos he was quite controlling and got fixated on making a certain sound so it wasn’t really fun for the others. got into electronic music because it was something he could do basically on his own and keep tweaking until he got it perfect

always drumming their fingers or strumming invisible guitar strings. tends to avoid parties bc he has quite has specific tastes when it comes to music and doesn’t like listening to r&b for eight hours while people throw up into plastic cups.

a techno connoisseur. has been making electronic music since he was about twelve.

after his parents divorce, when he was fourteen, rory & his mother moved to run-down suburban neighbourhood, pittsfield, massachussets.

big into photography. he mostly uses a canon 35mm camera, but occasionally uses disposable ones when he wants that more rustic feel.

moving to the states, their photography became more focused on suburban neighborhoods and are often quite dark and cinematic (think gregory crewsden). here are some shots of pittsfield i really like which rory has on his wall [1] [2] [3]

falls in love 12 times a day. never had a girlfriend or boyfriend. gets sweaty when someone cute looks at him. flirting?? what?? would prefer to idealise them from a distance

gender??? hm. doesn’t really know where he fits yet, sometimes he feels like a guy and sometimes they dont feel like anything at all. isn’t really bothered, cos they think it’s a social construct anyway. uses he/they pronouns interchangeably, but feels like ‘he’ is more fitting. won’t necessarily pull anyone up on it cos he knows having an identity that’s constantly…. in flux.. can be annoying for others … and doesn’t want to be a burden even tho it isn’t at all?? rory internalises guilt

everything is socially constructed. mirrors let you move through time. the whole thing’s a metaphor. he thinks he’s got free will but really he’s trapped in a maze. in a system. all he can do is consume. people think it’s a happy game. it’s not a happy game — it’s a fucking nightmare world, and the worst thing is, it’s real and we live in it

has ocd. tries to let it affect his life as little as possible, but obviously it’s incredibly hard to control a compulsive disorder. was teased for it at school when other kids started to notice. he was obsessed with the number five, would wash his hands five times, count stairs i groups of five, he could only use the corridors in one direction and always had to keep his hands busy. it manifests itself in hyper-fixations (trains when he was a child – specifically steam engines – then later he became obsessed with space and the patterns of constellations, and now he’s obsessed with synthesizers) and repetitive behaviours like counting stairs. doesn’t really affect his social life at all, he can jst get a bit locked-on n hyper-focused sometimes.

has insomnia. barely ever sleeps. finds it hard to switch off from work / writing / gaming / whatever’s preoccupying him in that moment. he’s always awake at 5am and quite often sleeps in through classes but still gets really good grades because he’s very good at his course. rarely attends classes. prefers to work independently. doesn’t really trust his tutors are intelligent enough to be teaching him, and is particularly suspicious of the lockwood tutors. a music snob tbh

secretly a small-scale drug dealer, only does weed n some party pills. rollerskates around campus dealing cos they dnt have a car

likes: techno, the webpage cats on synthesizers in space, allen ginsberg, vintage gramophones, floating points, lcd soundsystem, marijuana, soft dogs that let you pet them, late-night strolls talking about the universe, independent films, cigarettes, herbal tea, gallows humour, long showers, brown eyes, tchaikovsky, dr. seuss, constellations, photography, late night jazz, vintage game boys and girls who could rip his still-beating heart out of his chest and use it as an ashtray. dislikes: weddings, funerals, formality, button-up shirts that people actually button-up, bananas, hot coffee, social media, people who watch and play sports, rap music – especially of the misogynistic variety, indie wankers in wire-framed glasses that play ed sheeran songs at open mic nights.

plot ! with ! me ! i’d say all the usual “exes fwb hookups spiel” but rory… is very tender and tame… i feel like a deer in the headlights of love……. so give me

study buddies,

people who are also into techno and are music snobs about it,

people who love all kinds of music,

people who are in bands that maybe rory’s recorded and produced stuff for,

people he actually jams with (he plays bass and synth),

unrequited crushes!!

someone they met at a knitting club in freshman year and have remained friends with despite no longer going to it

people rory knows from open mic nights and gigs

library girlfriends / boyfriends that he stares at longingly while paging through leatherbound volumes

gamers !!! social recluses !!! hermits !!

people he deals weed to on his rollerskates (why r all my characters obsessed with rollerskates)

skaters. rory is really shit at skateboarding. like really shit. help the smol

hm now that rory has !Evolved! ig we can do hook up plots if u want but he’s not tht good at divorcing sex from emotion?? like he hooked up w teddy once n felt hopelessly inlove so..... if u want soft plots b prepared for crippling sadness.......

stay groovy XD XD

#radintro #plot with me cowards #said in a very soft and tender way. whispered. im but a small bug in a gutter.

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papa-1-rights-activist · 5 years ago

Note

Could you tell us some things about your characters?

thank you so much for this ask :D sorry for such a late response, but ngl i got very excited and started writing shit down as soon as i saw it, but then it turned into an entire essay and i had to cut down a ton of stuff until i decided to write it in a list of some sort kjhgkjfgkfg

currently i have like 11 fan characters in total so i will start with 4 to not infodump too much at a time

and i’ll admit that literally all of these guys were made for shipping purposes, but they all have different personalities and dynamics with canon characters. i’m such a sucker for writing couples, so many things to explore, that’s like my favourite thing ;w;

it got very long so imma put it under the cut \o/ (hopefully it works bc tumblr has been pretty unpredictable lately)

sorry if it’s probably way more than just “some things” but i couldn’t help it, i just love these guys so much and i don’t get to talk about them often u v u

e n j o y ~

imma start with the one you guys are more familiar with

Lucas

one of the cardinals in Ghost’s church

Mexican

in his late 40s (like 46-47)

hardworking, ambitious

pretty composed

huge „your teacher from english class who’s also a dad” energies

his character can be summed up to, as someone has said, „he’d kindly but sternly correct your shitty posture”

currently takes the 3rd place of most „best employee of the month” awards (Copia is 4th at that time)

he and Copia start off as rivals for the 2nd place (bc no one can beat whoever is the 1st)

but wouldn’t you guessed it, they end up dating

Lucas has a fair collection of various rodents, including rats. Actually, he’s the one who infected Copia with love for them. Luc prefers ferrets (that’s a rodent right kjhfgkjgh)

he doesn’t really get angry, but when he does he really goes off

he writes poetry, which is actually very, very bad, but Copia loves it to bits which makes Luc feel validated to write more

because his language is so similar to italian, Lucas can implement a lot of spanish into his conversations with Copia, while the other will reply in italian and they will still understand each other (ofc there are some exceptions that result in miscommunication, but that just makes it all more fun)

Copia shared with him that he’s writing music for his album (even tho he wasn’t supposed to tell anyone) and Lucas was more than happy to help him in the process…which was mostly moral support and a few suggestions.

he loves calling Copia “cariño”, “mi amorcito”, “mi alegría” and other cute names in spanish

once Lucas mentioned he used to play flute and Copia immediately decided to include a flute solo in one of his songs, so Luc could play it. Unfortunately things didn’t go as he planned and he had to change it to sax solo

The thing about Lucas is that Imperator sees him as a threat. She’s been plotting with Copia to get him to papacy for a long time, but in the end she isn’t the one who decides who will be in charge, so Copia has to work hard to deserve it. He was already a hard worker, but unfortunately Lucas works harder. It creates this dillema for Copia, bc on one hand he does want to become Papa and in order to do that he has to get rid off competition. But on the other he loves Lucas and he wants what’s best for him.

(i’ll probably post the pic above in a separate post with other doodles, i just wanted to show sth new and relevant)

Elise & Greg

Imma put these two together bc it’s impossible to talk about one without the other.

they work together in a company that takes art commisions such as paintings & murals and their restorations. They’re both pretty skilled in those departments, except Elise specialises in art restoration while Greg specialises in murals and frescos. And ofc one day they’re hired by the church.

they’re both pretty good at painting (but the thing about restoration is that you don’t have to be a great artist to do that, it has more to do with chemistry tbh)

They live together and have been very good friends for a few years now

they both went through some traumatic events in their lives, but maybe i’ll leave that part for another day (or i’ll leave it in my fanfic they’re from that i need to finish ;w;)

they’re very supportive of each other, but also they like to mess with one another

their chat is filled with horny texts about other people

Elise

34 years old

British

a bit awkward, tends to stutter when nervous

very sweet overall, feels the need to be everyone’s therapist

autistic, which shows mostly through her sensitivity to certain textures

hates onions (bc the texture is awful)

gets very emotional very quickly when she sees cute animals. She will use her baby talk to speak with them (which is sth that Copia does too with his rats and once he catches her doing that as well, he feels less embarrased about it)

Cirrus was the first one from the church to actually talk to her and show her around, making her feel a bit more welcome in an unfamiliar place

she talks through her sleep. A lot. Copia finds it very amusing…and adorable.

she discovers that Papa III has fallen hard for her friend way before he himself realises that, but then she’s also the kind of person to not see her own feelings for someone

she finds working on restoration quite relaxing. It’s sth she can fixate over and do for hours (even tho it’s not recommended)

a bit of a workaholic

another thing she finds relaxing is sitting in a corner somewhere warm and doodling people she sees around the abbey (mostly those she finds attractive lol so mostly Cirrus and Copia)

eventually ends up with Copia and Cirrus in a poly relationship

she also finds Cumulus cute, but the ghoulette isn’t interested in another romantic relationship. the one she has with Cirrus is enough for her.

Elise’s relationship with Copia is basically two dorks trying to impress the other while trying not to be too obvious about it, while her relationship with Cirrus is bisexual equivalent of „shy nerd has a crush on a cool girl leading the cheerleaders squad and shopes she doesn’t know. She knows.”

(had to doodle sth real quick bc i can’t believe that i don’t have a single good pic of him lol)

Greg

37 years old

Polish (bc ofc he is)

pretty stoic, might come off as cold

he gives cute nicknames to people he likes (in polish ofc)

he’s actually pretty cheesy and wholesome, but you wouldn’t know that bc he shows his affection through a language that no one understands (which is what he wants, he doesn’t want others to know he actually cares)

has some trust issues, so it’s harder for him to become friends with people

huge Scorpions fan. no, like really, he’s obsessed and will share his music taste with whoever will listen (which is mostly Eli and Papa III lol)

knows a few words in italian, but mostly those related to art after he’s been studying it for a few years. He doesn’t speak it, but he can read it.

he owns a guitar signed by Kirk Hammett (his musical crush)

he’s the kind of guy who will call the person he likes „my dear”, „my love”, „sweet pea” in his mother language and then tell that person it means „dickhead”, „loser” and „lazy ass”

his stay at the abbey is just laying under the ceiling and doing fresco for most of the day, visiting Elise in her art studio and dealing with Papa’s bullshit

Papa eventually starts coming up to lay beside Greg on the construction and watch him work. They tend to just lay in silence while a mix of Scorpions and ABBA plays from the radio. There’s barely any space for a second person, but Greg would lie if he said he didn’t find it endearing.

one time Greg fell off the construction and broke his leg bc of that dumbass (but it’s his dumbass uwu)

anyway he eventually starts dating Papa III

Papa purrs to Greg in italian and Greg speaks sweet words to him in polish (tho it took him a lot of time to get comfortable with that)

their relationship is your typical „1 brain cell and 1 dumbass” and under certain circumstances simply „2 disastrous dumbasses”

they once burnt down Elise’s apartment on accident and the only things they managed to save were the art supplies and Greg’s guitar

anyway

here are these guys in comparison to their partners in this silly style, bc all the other drawings are outdated ;w;

Melea

45 years old

American

fashion designer commissioned byt the Ghost’s church

huge fan of old rock

for a long time her relationship with Papa III was purely professional. He came to her studio, she took some measurements, they discussed what he would like and then he left and they didn’t see each other until the next meeting to try the outfit on, to make some changes, or for another project.

well that is until she asked him to stop putting his face paint on so he wouldn’t ruin the fabrics

i share this popular headcanon that Papa III is pretty self conscious about his clean face, so it was kind of hard to convince him at first

eventually their sessions became that much more personal because of that

she’s a bit superstitious, believing that some things may cause bad luck

collects crystals with good energy

she’s in a way a modern witch…but it’s not like she tries to be one

knows french fairly well, which allows her to talk to Papa (who also speaks it) when they don’t want others to understand them.

huge mum energy

loooves watching conspiracy theories. Sometimes she will pick one of the more ridiculous ones during her sessions with Papa and will argue and try to convince him it’s true, making it seem like she fully believes it, even if she doesn’t – just to fuck with him

and a few times she actually did convince him. Then had to tell him she wasn’t serious and oh my god the millenials aren’t killing the pillow industry by going vegan

anyway at some point they start dating which eventually leads to them getting married ;w;

her relationship with Papa is very soft and romantic. they have the same energy as Morticia and Gomez in regard of how loving they are to each other

also some chibis of these two bc again, all the other drawings are a bit outdated ;w;

#asks #sweet-marionette #it was so much fun \o/#my art #ff talk #art talk

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gotatext · 5 years ago

Text

hello, it’s swamp witch nora again…. i couldn’t stay away.... hitting u with a tiny baby boy who is also terrible (sometimes). musical softboi who loves karl marx and hates children dying in cobalt mines to make smart phones. as is tradition, here’s the pinterest board, have a peruse. fyi sorry for those of u who have read this intro a thousand times i literally.... can never b bothred to change it n i think thats really sexy of me x

CHARLIE PLUMMER / DEMI-BOY — don’t look now, but is that rory bergström i see? the 23 year old music student is in their junior year and he is a rochester alum. i hear they can be whimsical, impassioned, self-indulgent and nitpicky, so maybe keep that in mind. i bet he / they will make a name for themselves living in griffin street. ( nora. 24. gmt. she/her. )

aesthetics.

tw ocd, anxiety, drugs

middle-class and lowkey quite wealthy but rarely talks about money, one of those well-off people who still wears really old shitty shoes and only spends money if they absolutely have to

virgin who can’t drive

into star wars, not into the big bang theory. feminist. can’t watch horror movies

favourite film is where the wild things are. also loves the florida project. thinks kids are the sweetest thing and can’t wait to be a dad to some

has been musical for as long as they can remember. first picked up guitar because he thought it would make this girl esther who he was in love with like him, but he just ended up falling in love with music instead.

a techno connoisseur. has been making electronic music since he was about twelve.

after his parents divorce, when he was fourteen, rory & his mother moved to run-down suburban neighbourhood, pittsfield, massachussets.

big into photography. he mostly uses a canon 35mm camera, but occasionally uses disposable ones when he wants that more rustic feel.

falls in love 12 times a day. never had a girlfriend or boyfriend. gets sweaty when someone cute looks at him. flirting?? what?? would prefer to idealise them from a distance

gender??? hm. rory don’t really know where they fit yet, sometimes he feels like a guy and sometimes they dont feel like anything at all!! slippin out of his physical form into the spirit realm! isn’t really bothered, cos they think it’s a social construct anyway. uses he/they pronouns interchangeably, but currently feels like ‘he’ is more fitting. won’t necessarily pull anyone up on it cos he knows having an identity that’s constantly…. in flux.. can be annoying for others … and doesn’t want to be a burden even tho it isn’t at all?? rory internalises guilt

occasionally deals weed n pills when strapped for cash, but only 2 ppl he knows, and on a very small scale grass-roots level!! (so its ok???) rollerskates around campus dealing cos they dnt have a car. we love to see it

aesthetics: bed hair from a permanent state of slumber, calloused fingertips from strumming bass into the early hours and drumming into blacklit night, self-help books thumbed once and thrown beneath your bed, watching vine compilations until your eyes turn square, battered copies of choose your own adventure books, spliffs passed half-arsed across rooftops while light pollution obscures low-hanging stars

plot ! with ! me ! i’d say all the usual “exes fwb hookups spiel” but rory… has never hooked up with anyone… i feel like a deer in the headlights of love……. so give me

study buddies,

people who are also into techno and are music snobs about it,

people who love all kinds of music,

people who are in bands that maybe rory’s recorded and produced stuff for,

people he actually jams with (he plays bass and synth),

unrequited crushes!!

actually i think rory had sex w delilah in the last version of this rp so if u want a hook up plot its possible just unlikely. they’d hav 2 be the driving force i reckon cos rory doesn’t really act on impulses like desire or anythin.... jst bottles that shit up !!! but yea we could do a spicy hook up plot maybs, depending on the person

someone they met at a knitting club in freshman year and have remained friends with despite no longer going to it

people rory knows from open mic nights and gigs

library girlfriends / boyfriends that he stares at longingly while paging through leatherbound volumes

gamers !!! social recluses !!! hermits !!

people he deals weed to on his rollerskates (why r all my characters obsessed with rollerskates)

skaters. rory is really shit at skateboarding. like really shit. help the smol

#tw drugs #tw ocd #tw anxiety #HUNTINGTONINTRO

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su-angelvicioso · 5 years ago

Note

When was Maria was born and how did Mexican independence from Spain effected her?

Whoever you are I love you and I’m so sorry I didn’t see this sooner perdóname por favor! 💖. I’ll admit this one kinda threw me for a loop as I didn’t really know how to form my answer so I apologize if it’s all over the place.

So I started talking with my friend about this and I always had this thought that María was born at some point between 1813 and 1820? Which is probably a bit weird with the Mexican War for Independence (I think) but; in general, this war is kinda confusing for me and I’m not really an expert but from what I believe/remember from our conversation we discussed that “there is an official explanation in everyone's text books and then the truth.” Like "officially" basically Mexico wasn't Mexico. It was the Colony of New Spain, and they wanted to break away from Spain and be acknowledged as Mexico. But think about how stuff happened in the United States. When the American colonists broke away from Britain, who were the people fighting the English? Officially, it wasn't The Native Americans but other Europeans basically fighting against the British so that they can control America. The Natives didn't get anything.

The same thing can be said about Mexico. The independence was started by “Criollos” or people who were Mostly All the Way European but born in Mexico. Other people like the natives, “Afro Latinos” and “Mestizos” weren't really treated well. So here were the groups involved

-Pure Spanish people who had the highest social standing

- Criollos who were basically European but were born in Mexico (so they were thought of as lower than Native Spaniards)

-Everyone else

The majority of the people making the big decisions and gaining the most from the the independence were criollos. So, like the American Independence, it was a battle between Europeans against other Europeans in order to take control of the land. Everyone else didn't get anything. That's one of the reasons why the other big war, The Mexican Revolution Happened. Oppressed Mexicans wanted to overthrow their Government and their Dictator. The majority of power and education had went to elite families who were mainly European. They owned basically all the land and were called “hacendados.” They ruled over the country with the help of the government while the rest of the Mexicans owned nothing and were forced to work land that was not theirs for slave wages.

The way The Independence affected María wasn’t great because, to me, María was more-so indigenous. If she was mainly European and from a prominent family she probably would have benefited a lot from it. Pretty sure a lot of those families got some shares of land out of it. But also because she was a woman, she probably wouldn’t get the full rights like men. At this point tho, women did begin pushing for full citizens rights. Because she was in a lower status, she probably didn't get a lot. In fact it was probably really shitty. Women did household work for a living. I know that there were a lot of ladies involved in the Independence itself too but I'm not sure what her role might have been. Whether or not she even played a huge role would have depended on her status.

I definitely always saw her as like “coming from nothing.” Like that's my own personal headcanon. I believe her family would have been apart of the Mexicans were forced to work on land that wasnt their own and were paid slave-like wages. Elite Families were put in charge of huge portions of Mexican land like 100 acres and such. They were the Hacienda owners, they kinda controlled everything. People were forced to tend to the land for very little or no pay and it lead to people basically revolting against that system in a super bloody war, the Mexican Revolution (1910 to 1920). Like I always thought she would have been a nobody or a really bad conditioned woman who was turned for a reason? I like the thought of her being of that class bc, when you think about it, it's a great narrative and it makes a lot of sense. I headcanon that she had all of that cunningness, anger, and resourcefulness as a human too, but because she was crushed beneath the boots of society she couldn't truly utilize it. Like, her potential had been smashed down, but all she needed was the right amount of power (vampiric abilities) in her hands.

Mexico's Independence was supposed to end the system and it kind of did officially but unofficially, like I said, all the land and power went to prominent, European families and their descendants. So it didn't end anything really lol. As I said, the war was mainly so Europeans could be free/gain Independence from other Europeans. Basically, the independence didn't do anything or change anything for anyone who wasn't an elite so it doesn't really matter whether or not she’s born before or after The Independence, or during it's height bc Maria's situation would have been the same like how Natives to the United States basically didn't really get anything when American Colonists split from England. Officially, and on paper the independence was supposed to end the system and everyone was supposed to be equal but in reality it wasn't. If she had a good family and part of the elites then they got so much power after they pulled away from Spain. They basically got as much land as they wanted; But bc she's Native or "mestizo" nothing would have changed for her. The Mexican revolution would have happened after she became a vampire (if she’d been born then) and that's where things would have changed for her if she were human (and maybe as a vamp too idk) because they actually revolted against the elite land owners and government.

Also: I have this headcanon that she was born somewhere else other than Monterey, because it never states specifically where she was born in Mexico. So I headcanon that she was born and raised in Oaxaca and then moved to Monterey at like half way through her life and then lived out the rest of her short life in Monterey before she “died” and that’s where she met her vampire family and they became the Monterey coven.

#yay i got an ask! :P #thank you for asking me this anon as I have not thought about María’s human life much as i should’ve!!#she is my babyy #my headcanon #maria #i love maria #maría #twilight maria #maria twilight #maria aesthetic #maria’s life #twilight #the twilight saga #maria's coven

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meleuki · 5 years ago

Text

g2k me uncomfortably well

1. What is your middle name?

It’s my grandmother’s first name. I’m not gonna say what it is tho.

2. How old are you?

I am an age.

3. When is your birthday?

31st of March, same day as Angus Young hell yeah.

4. What is your zodiac sign?

Aries

5. What is your favourite colour?

Black, Purple & Red.

6. What’s your lucky number?

1,714 (long story).

7. Do you have any pets?

I have one little dog, he’s cute asf.

8. Where are you from?

Australia.

9. How tall are you?

5′4/5′5, I can’t tell most of the time.

10. What shoe size are you?

US 9 or 10

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

um like 12, but I only wear about 5 of them regularly.

12. What was your last dream about?

some dude turning into this cannibalistic animal type thing & me becoming friends with two ghost boys who murdered a bunch of people, and then got murdered and having to figure the rest of the case out for them. (supernatural has kinda been rubbing off on my dreams lmao.)

13. What talents do you have?

I can play guitar and piano. I can cook pretty good?? I also have a talent for being a dumb ass.

14. Are you psychic in any way?

I don’t believe I am.

15. Favourite song?

atm, Enter Sandman by Metallica

16. Favourite movie?

IT (2017), or, Scream.

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

oh golly, I don’t know actually. I just think I need someone who has some confidence, a kind soul and an open mind, and is able to put a smile on my face even when i dont want it. So far, I haven’t met someone who has caught my eye, but i hope one day I do.

18. Do you want children?

Yes, YES.

19. Do you want a church wedding?

no I don’t. I want one in a garden area type thingy.

20. Are you religious?

i’m not sure.

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

yeah like 4-5 times.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

nope, I don’t plan on it.

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

I haven’t.

24. Baths or showers?

both

25. What color socks are you wearing?

I’m not wearing any.

26. Have you ever been famous?

pft, nope.

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

I would, but only for the reach of my music.

28. What type of music do you like?

Rock ‘n Roll, Blues, Jazz, Indie, Classical, Punk, etc. (pretty much anything)

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

I have never.

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

four. two under my head, and two on the side of my bed.

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

i’m either on my right or my left side, one leg up so my knee is diagonal with my stomach and one stretched out, one hand at my chest and one arm resting over my side.

32. How big is your house?

one story, medium size ish.

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

coffee... and maybe sometimes I’ll have a smoothie.

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

yeppp, I have. It was ages ago tho.

35. Have you ever tried archery?

I’ve only really ever done archery on summer camps or school camps. Although I was pretty good at it whenever I tried.

36. Favourite clean word?

spellbinding

37. Favorite swear word?

F U C K

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

Maybe a little over two days.

39. Do you have any scars?

I do. Some on my knees, a lot on my back and my hips. My fingers are pretty scratched up a lot too.

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

‘scuse me what? no, never.

41. Are you a good liar?

Indeed I am. But I don’t like to lie.

42. Are you a good judge of character?

I’d like to think I’m good at reading people.

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

I can do a pretty generic American accent and a stupid posh British one.

44. Do you have a strong accent?

I’d say I don’t, especially hearing me compared to some other Australians - my accent isn’t strong at all. You can definitely tell where I’m from though.

45. What is your favourite accent?

Russian, or German.

46. What is your personality type?

Chaotic dumb bitch, who rants about nature, peace and love.

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

um, my macpac jacket, which was like $300. (It was also a birthday present from my mum, and she worked there at the time so it was cheap.)

48. Can you curl your tongue?

I think I can??

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

Innie.

50. Left or right-handed?

right-handed. A bitch can do jack shit with her left.

51. Are you scared of spiders?

I used to be, I kinda want a pet tarantula now tbh.

52. Favourite food?

Chicken noodle soup, fight me.

53. Favourite foreign food?

Lasagne.

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

Usually, I’m pretty messy, I can’t work in an environment that is completely clean, but somedays I just like to clean shit up.

55. Most used phrase?

“Sorry, what?”

56. Most used word?

definitely, “bro”.

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

if a shower is included, like an hour. But without a shower, like 20mins.

58. Do you have much of an ego?

No, I don’t.

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

Suck them. (how tf you gon taste a lollipop if you bite it??)

60. Do you talk to yourself?

All the fucking time. When I’m writing I talk myself through the story by mumbling the words to myself a lot. Other times I might be doing the dishes, getting dressed or doing something mundane and I’ll just begin to have a conversation with myself.

61. Do you sing to yourself?

bitch yes, all the fucking time.

62. Are you a good singer?

I like to think that I’m okay.

63. Biggest Fear?

Losing my ability to see.

64. Are you a gossip?

No, unless the person in question has done something shitty to me or a close friend, AND I will only talk about with a close friend.

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

The Perks Of Being A Wallflower

66. Do you like long or short hair?

I don’t mind either way, but long hair makes my knees weak.

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

bitch, HAHAH, nope.

68. Favourite school subject?

English, but really only when we’re doing creative writing.

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

Smack me right in the middle.

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

nope, never ever, and I never plan on it.

71. What makes you nervous?

A lot of shit, not gonna lie.

72. Are you scared of the dark?

yES, the dark stems from my main fear, loss of my sight. I can’t be in control of the situations around me.

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

depends what kind of mistakes we’re taking here.

74. Are you ticklish?

yes, and I fucken hate it.

75. Have you ever started a rumour?

I don’t think I ever have. Maybe accidentally?

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

people call me a mum? So, I guess?

77. Have you ever drank underage?

wtf no, who do u think I am wtf???? JK, yes, all the time. Whenever I get the chance.

78. Have you ever done drugs?

ask @xx-kurt-cocaine--xx .

79. Who was your first real crush?

Some dude named Tyler, he turned out to be an ass tho.

80. How many piercings do you have?

Just my ears, but I want like four more.

81. Can you roll your R’s?

a little, but only for like two seconds.

82. How fast can you type?

@livewiredroger tells me I’m an aggresive typer so, I guess I’m pretty fast at punching the fuck outta my keyboard.

83. How fast can you run?

ok, kinda hate running, it hurts my tits. But I’m a sprinter, long-distances kill me.

84. What colour is your hair?

black, dark brown and honey brown. I dyed it black and it’s growing out, looks cool tho so I don’t mind.

85. What color is your eyes?

blue, green, grey. I don’t know which one, I’ve been told all of them too many times.

86. What are you allergic to?

nothing that I know of. Pretty sure I’ve got an intolerence to mushrooms tho, and dairy does weird things to my stomach.

87. Do you keep a journal?

I do, I haven’t written in it in a few weeks tho. Reading back through my depressive episodes isn’t a fun trip.

88. What do your parents do?

job-wise? They’re both teachers for primary school kids.

89. Do you like your age?

I guess? I dunno.

90. What makes you angry?

A lot of things, but I’ve learnt to control it, mostly.

91. Do you like your own name?

I don’t hate it.

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

I have. Boy names; East, Patrick, Samuel. Girls names; Piper, Lila, Milan.

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

I would love a boy. If I had a girl I would love her all the same. But right now, a boy is what I have in mind.

94. What are you strengths?

kill em with kindness

95. What are your weaknesses?

I can be very forward, or very frustrated.

96. How did you get your name?

my mum just turned to my dad and was like, “hey what about this?” and my dad was like, “yup, sure thing.”

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

NAh.

98. Do you have any scars?

I answered this one already?

99. Colour of your bedspread?

blue and beige.

100. Colour of your room?

One wall is aqua blue, the others are white. Mostly blue aesthetic I guess.

I tag: @guns-n-crue @gretavanyeeeeet @solohqrry @punkslap @livewiredroger

@antheasnow @malibubarbievince

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the--gay-agenda · 6 years ago

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my platonic gf made me do this (even tho she’s not on tumblr rn)

1. What is you middle name? - San Roque

2. How old are you? - 16

3. When is your birthday? - November 11, 2002

4. What is your zodiac sign? - Sun: Scorpio Moon: Aquarius

5. What is your favorite color? - Dark colors in general (mostly maroon, blue and monochrome)

6. What’s your lucky number? - 11 or 13

7. Do you have any pets? - 3 dogs (but i rlly take care of 1)

8. Where are you from? - Philippines, Metro Manila

9. How tall are you? - 5’5” and a half

10. What shoe size are you? - I think 9-10 (???)

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? - 3 (4 if u include my school shoes)

12. What was your last dream about? - I was in school and we were peforming for a rlly big event (it was shitty)

13. What talents do you have? - I can play the guitar, barely sing, sorta dance, and some chinese

14. Are you psychic in any way? - When it comes to my sister, and some romantic situations irl, and i can predict scenes from movies i havent seen

15. Favorite song? oh god that’s hard, the soundtracks for both heathers and six, every song in my g a y playlist in spotify (king princess, joji, billie eilish, rizha, etc.)

16. Favorite movie? - The girl king (despite the annoying power dynamic0 and heathers (despite the cringe) and almost every marvel movie

17. Who would be your ideal partner? - @alexconfusion if u weren’t such a fuqing baby (fyi, @alexgoestosleep i wont steal them from u, they’re just sorta my ideal type)

18. Do you want children? - Like one or two (girls preferably)

19. Do you want a church wedding? - Hell nah (but ill be fine either way)

20. Are you religious? - Sorta (raised a catholic, but my faith waivers)

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? - Nope just visited folks

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? - nah

23. Have you ever met any celebrities? - Regine velasquez at snr once

24. Baths or showers? - showers

25. What color socks are you wearing? - Im not wearin socks rn, but if i were, grey

26. Have you ever been famous? - Does having 392 followers in tumblr consider being famous??

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? - Yes and no

28. What type of music do you like? - Smth with guitars, maybe even synth-pop or smth. and some classical shit

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? - Nope, and never will

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? - 2, 3 if im with my bro

31. What position do you usually sleep in? - On either side with a pillow to hug

32. How big is your house? - Just 1 floor, a small backyard, and a front porch (i think idk filipino houses are hard to explain)

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? - Coffee and bread, instant noodles if i feel like it

34. Have you ever fired a gun? - Do airsoft guns count?

35. Have you ever tried archery? - Nah, but id love to

36. Favorite clean word? - boop

37. Favorite swear word? - shit, fuck,cunt, bitch, faggot (i call my friend like that never as an offense its just our thing)

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? - 36 hours or maybe even 48

39. Do you have any scars? -A scar on my right arm cuz of a vaccine

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? - Sorta, but he was a guy and a creep and a bitch so...

41. Are you a good liar? - sorta

42. Are you a good judge of character? - Maybe idk

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? - I have a very bad butchered british accent that sounds like im crunching in some scottish or smth

44. Do you have a strong accent? - Not that i know of

45. What is your favorite accent? - British and australian

46. What is your personality type? - Resting bitch face, quiet but a rlly good friend (apparently) im sorta clingy and hyper sometimes

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? - I think my prom dress, other than that, my giordano long sleeves

48. Can you curl your tongue? - sorta

49. Are you an innie or an outie? - innie

50. Left or right handed? - left

51. Are you scared of spiders? - As long as they’re small im good, i fear the big ones

52. Favorite food? - Japanese food, some korean food, pasta, ribs, and sisig

53. Favorite foreign food? - ^ (except for sisig)

54. Are you a clean or messy person? - An organized mess

55. Most used phrased? - Is it gay?

56. Most used word? - gay

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? - 20-30 mins, i try to prepare everything the day before

58. Do you have much of an ego? - Idk, i think not

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? - suck

60. Do you talk to yourself? - Yes, too many fucking times

61. Do you sing to yourself? - In the shower its great 10/10 would recommend

62. Are you a good singer? - Sorta?? Depends on the style of the song

63. Biggest Fear? - Socializing online idk lmao

64. Are you a gossip? - Depends on who im gossiping with, but not too much lol

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? - Idk, none of them are rlly great

66. Do you like long or short hair? - short

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? - Binch no, i aint american

68. Favorite school subject? - Social studies

69. Extrovert or Introvert? - Introvert but im a bit of both sorta

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? - no

71. What makes you nervous? - people

72. Are you scared of the dark? - nope

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? - Yes, especially when it comes to talking in english, im a grammar nazi

74. Are you ticklish? - yes,Stomach, sides, neck, feet, and certain parts on my back

75. Have you ever started a rumor? - nope

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? - I was the secretary of my class last year, and ive been the leader for our thesis

77. Have you ever drank underage? - Does wine count? (only during new year tho)

78. Have you ever done drugs? - nope

79. Who was your first real crush? - I honestly dont know, but i think it was this one girl named Renee (nuffsaid)

80. How many piercings do you have? - Before one for each ear, i lost them now so none

81. Can you roll your Rs? - If i need to, like if its a spanish name or smth

82. How fast can you type? - Idk,

83. How fast can you run? - Sorta fast thanks to my legs, but my stamina is hella short so not long

84. What color is your hair? - A mix of brown and sorta like bronze (this one particular part of my hair especially)

85. What color is your eyes? - brown

86. What are you allergic to? - none

87. Do you keep a journal? - Im starting to rn

88. What do your parents do? - Both of them have their own businesses

89. Do you like your age? - Yea i guess, unless my parents start comparing my maturity with my age

90. What makes you angry? --A lot of things (im moody), esp. When my sis starts judging what i like

91. Do you like your own name? -Sorta, i mean a lot of ppl mispronounce my name and make fun of it when u add my last name to it

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? - honestly idk, but i plan to name them with confusing names (or not idk)

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? - Both girls

94. What are you strengths? - Maybe that i’m honest esp when def needed, i have this motherly side (sorta), i know a lot of shit

95. What are your weaknesses? - Im clingy, im socially awkward, im easily demotivated, idk how emotions work

96. How did you get your name? - There was a joke that my mom thought i was gonna be a boy so they named me jonathan, but since i was a girl and jonathan tan was gonna be redundant, they added mae as my second name, removed the -than and now its J**** Mae Tan

97. Were your ancestors royalty? - Not that i know of, but one of my ancestors was an important figure in the revolution in my country so.... yea

98. Do you have any scars? - On my right arm cuz of a vaccine

99. Color of your bedspread? - I share a bed with my siblings (sadly) but rn its blue

100. Color of your room? - With my siblings, eggshell white or smth, but i wanted the color sky blue once i get my own room

#not heathers related #shitposting #ask meme #my shoulder hurts

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bruhwhyth0 · 4 years ago

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WHY THO?

Jesus Christ I was really hoping I’d never have to do this again. I honestly don’t know what is worse, having to watch another shitty movie or rereading my old blog posts and realizing that they were lower in quality than the movies I was reviewing. Fortunately it doesn’t really matter because I know for a fact that my -2 followers don’t seem to mind. But here I am. Once again I must swallow my pride and sumit myself to literal torture all in the name of a grade. To my suprise choosing a crappy movie was almost as difficult as watching one. So many options. So much low hanging fruit. However movies of this nature can always be a mixed bag. I remember when I first started this blog a few years ago some reviews never left my drafts because I didn't have much to write about. Sometimes a movie is so mediocre, so bad, that it can’t even excel at being an awful pile of crap. I chose to write about bad movies because I figured it would be entertaining. You’d think some films, in their own demented way, could at least entertain. But no. Can’t even get that right. I’d find myself at 2’o’clock in the morning looking at my notes only to realize that I basically wrote nothing. All I had was a lingering sense of regret and confusion; like I’d just woken up from a drunken one night stand. All I could do is ask myself, “What the hell did I just watch?” So as I revisit this deserted island I call my blog for what most likely will be the last time, I want to make sure that it is worth it. If I’m going to verbally assault a movie, I’m going to make sure it is an easy target. That was my thought process at least. I soon realized that just because a movie is easy to write about, that doesn’t mean it is easy to watch.

So what movie did I force upon my soul do you ask? Why CATS of course. Because who doesn’t like Cats? Everyone loves cats. What’s not to love about an ungrateful and rude animal that walks around your house like it owns the place. An animal that bites, scratches, and claws at anything it deems unworthy. “Let's make a movie, based off the perverted 80s Broadway production that centered around these literal spawns of Satan,” said every Hollywood executive with their head up their ass. As a matter of fact they thought it was such a good idea that they dropped 95 million U.S. dollars on it.

Now before I continue, as I typed “cats budget” in my google search bar, take a guess what came up after “cats bu..”. CATS BUTTHOLE SMELL. Are you fucking kidding me? What the hell is wrong with people? I tried recreating it in the search bar to screenshot but I couldn’t get it to come up, but trust me. I know what I saw. What is it with cat people man? Seriously. Really threw me off my train of thought.

But yeah, 95 big ones. A lot of good things could have been done with that money, but nope. We needed a live action adaptation of Cats. Did anyone who thought this was a good idea even see the play? That shit was weird. I didn’t watch it, cause, well why the hell would I?

But from the bare minimum research that I did do, the general consensus was that it was a shitty play that made lots of money because people are dumb and will watch anything. I guess producers were hoping lightning would strike twice. If you saw the play you would know that there is literally no plot. It has nothing. It is literally a bunch of weirdos dressed like anthropomorphic cats dry humping each other and singing for 2 hours. I swear its target audience had to consist of lonely 12 years old, sad housewives, and perverts. I tried watching the musical just to get a general reference of the living hell I was going to put myself in only to be utterly mortified. My eyes and ears didn’t last 5 minutes. How it made all the money it did baffles me. But I’m not here to talk about this crime against humanity, I’m here to rip into its bastard child. And boy, oh boy, is there a lot to talk about.

$14.99 in and I’m already regretting my life choices. Everything in my life has led me to this moment and I really wish I could change that. Thanks to what a box office bomb this movie was, I can’t rent it anywhere. I can only buy it. Figures. You're already off to a bad start movie. 2 minutes into the opening scene and I already hate it. People walking around on all fours in fursuits, licking their genitals, singing dancing, some crappy asymmetric musical. WHY! Oh god why did people make this? What kind of furry bullshit is this? I am going to be completely transparent. I’m writing this while I’m watching the movie. I’m not even 5 minutes in and I want to blow my brains out. This is not hyperbole, I wish it was. I can’t dude. I can’t watch this fucking movie. All the characters speak in these weird haikus with British accents. I can’t. I just can’t. I don’t know what anyone is saying half the freaking time. So many made up words and phrases. It's like the script was written by some Dr. Suess rejected. I genuinely have no idea what is going on. I was really hoping that for once one of my reviews wouldn’t sound like the rantings of a madman. But I can’t help it. This crap is rotting my brain. Seriously what is going on. Maybe I’m a simpleton who doesn’t get musicals, but I shit you not there is no plot. I have no idea what the hell is going on. How do you have a movie with no plot?

It’s just singing about being cats... and their FEET. JESUS CHRIST THEY HAVE FEET. No CGI paws. BARE. HUMAN. FEET. God why. How as an actor, do you go on set, act like a literal animal and tell yourself, “yeah this is gonna pan out great.” How did they sit down and go, “I’m going to sit here, lick a fake bowl of milk, sing and dance nonsense, then proceed to lick my non-existent cat balls.” I literally watched an actor snarl directly into the camera. When I went to find out who it was, I was unsurprised to see that all the pictures of the actors were gone. Just names. With a little digging I found out it was Ian Mckellen, you know, from Lord of the Rings. Magneto from Xmen. That Ian Mckellen. Yup, and he snarled to the camera like a cat. Anything for a paycheck right? Who am I to judge, I watched 2019’s Cats for an English class. Who is really losing here, cause frankly I don’t know anymore. If I have anything positive to say about this movie is that it has less dry humping than its source material. Key word less. I better get an A for this.

An hour into the movie and I still don’t know what the fuck is going on. Some dude in overalls is tap dancing. He's a “railway cat” cause he's a conductor or something. I physically cannot do this. I'm dying on the inside. A light inside me is slowly fading. Countless abhorrent musical numbers. Too many for a man to take. To put things in perspective, I did not like Hamilton. Did I respect it for what it was? Of course. Not my cup of tea though. Hamilton was a great musical, arguably one of the best, and I did not enjoy it whatsoever. Now here I am watching Cats. Just a little perspective.

As I came to the end of the movie I saw that I missed all kinds of things. There was a love plot, some kind of contest, and villain. But that didn’t concern me. All I could focus on was how I wasted an hour and a half of my life.

An hour and a half wasted on this.

Do you think God left us because he feared what he created? I sure as hell do. The philosophers were right. Everyday Pantheism is making more and more sense. And if not that nihilism. God is dead. God is most certainly dead. Don’t believe me? The GIF above is all the proof you need.

I was hoping that for once one of these blogs would have some sense of conformity. Some sort of cohesion. Maybe an ounce of legitimacy. But I couldn’t. There is something about these movies that drain the life from you. Every second spent looking at my computer screen I felt brain cells dying. I might as well have drunk a whole 750 milliliter bottle of Everclear. That or bang my head against a wall for 15 minutes. Either would have been just as effective; and probably more efficient.

I thought that I could improve upon the quality of my blog. When I reread my old post I realized that they had no depth. I thought maybe it was me. Right? I was 15, What did I know about good writing? No. It never had anything to do with me. Movies like Cats are such horrendous abominations of human creation, that there is literally no way to talk about them with any form of professional effort. They are shallow. There is nothing to analyze. How can you analyze garbage? Art requires respect if it wants to be reviewed and judged accordingly. Cats and films like it don’t have my respect and never will. I type this with immense pleasure. Never again. Never will I ever put myself through this bull again. Thankfully, for the last time. I can ask Why Tho?

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verllaine-blog · 8 years ago

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A guide to the fandom of French politics/lolitics

I found something similar going around in the Spanish lolitics fandom (I think?) and thought it was kind of funny, and what with French politics going world-wide since the elections in May and Macron making himself heard around the globe (and before you come at me, he’s also got his flaws too, I’ll fully agree with you there), I thought it would be cool to open up the wonderful fandom of French politics (and our ships!) to our international friends. So sit tight, this is probably going to be long!

First off, who are the big names you’re likely to find the most often?

Emmanuel Macron

° Not surprising since he’s our new president.

° He’s actually pretty smol. Especially when standing next to other taller world leaders.

° He’s a lot younger than the other members of the French politics fandom. (He’s 39).

° Can’t take selfies.

° POUDRE DE PERLIMPIMPIN.

° (It’s even a song).

° He looks like a pretty cool guy but does have some shitty policies he wants to put into effect (*cough* doesn't necessarily plan to stop nuclear energy jobs even though they are polluting *cough*).

° Literally seems to think that he’s some kind of king/God.

° Loves Europe & the European Union (like, Emmanuel Macron x the EU is as canon as Emmanuel x Brigitte).

° Likes cordons bleus (and I get him, cordons bleus are amazing), chocolates and eating off the kid’s menu and is essentially a child in an adult’s body.

° Apparently even the official cook at the Elysée palace makes him little cordons bleus. (And he loves them).

° Is probably going to be annoying in the upcoming five years but we currently kind of like him. Or at the very least, he hasn’t fucked up too bad yet. (But please don’t cozy up to Trump too much).

° Is far better at speaking English than most French politicians (and possibly even the current US president) and uses expressions that are probably twice his age and that nobody uses anymore.

Manuel Valls

° He’s from Spain Catalonia but he’s French.

° Our former Prime Minister. Apparently he tried to join Macron’s party after the elections?

° The scapegoat who gets blamed for everything, even stuff he isn't fully responsible for.

° Had flour thrown on him that one time.

° Often angry, but he does smile sometimes. (They’re actually rays of sunshine)

° Really did try to save the Parti Socialiste but didn’t manage and ended up quitting it. Is more of a center-left candidate??

° Dealt with a wide variety of shit ranging from terrorist attacks to being slapped across the face.

° The VEINY HANDS ™.

° King of the style game and sometimes wears see-through shirts. (cf La Rochelle, 2015).

° Was kind of friends with Macron (he was the one who convinced Hollande to hire him before they started to work together).

° People are beginning to realize that their hatred towards him was misdirected, which is nice. Hell, some are even beginning to appreciate him, which is even better.

° Gave that one really amazing speech at the Assemblée Nationale on January 13 2015 and got a standing ovation for it.

° Probably chilling off somewhere now? Or is he still trying to join En Marche?

° Has a cute Cairn Terrier called Homère. He even used to bring him to his meetings at the Elysée palace.

Benoît Hamon

° Former member of the Socialist party. He tried hard to save it, he really did.

° Is basically a Hobbit.

° Has lots of cute pairs of glasses.

° Good with kids.

° REGION BRETAGNE EN FORCE!

° His real name is Baenoît Hamon.

° Even shared a picture of his kebab once and it was way more popular than President Macron’s official portrait.

° Deserved so much better.

° Is an actual cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure.

Arnaud Montebourg

° Toll ™.

° Often seen hanging out with Hamon.

° A rebel, he resigned from his post as economy minister from Hollande’s government.

° Is a drama queen.

° Loves everything with the label “Made in France”.

° Has fluffy looking hair.

Phillipe Poutou

° Far-left anticapitalist.

° He literally has no chill and will destroy you if you give him the opportunity.

° Popular among the young voters (I think???).

° Can also be really cute and adorable when he doesn’t vent about the evils of capitalism.

° Too cool to wear an actual suit.

Jean-François Copé

° Sometimes wonder whether he’s an actual politician or not.

° Is sometimes problematic ™

° Says chocolatine instead of pain au chocolat (which is downright wrong >:(( ) (Question à part: ça se dit où "chocolatine" exactement?? Ca va bientôt faire quinze ans que j'habite en France et je suis jamais tombée dessus?? Ca a toujours été "pain au chocolat" chez moi???)

° Never really scores any higher than 0.5%.

° Always enthusiastic and up for a good laugh.

° Memes.

° One of the rare right-wing politicians to actually be part of the fandom since everybody else ranges from the center (Macron & maybe even Valls) to the far-left (Poutou & Mélenchon).

Jean Lassalle

° He’s not really a big name, kind of a centrist?

° Has a heavy accent and loves his region very much.

° Lives a down-to-earth-appreciate-everything kind of life.

° Is probably one of the only politicians to actually be a really adorable person in real life.

° Appreciated by both his fellow politician colleagues and the general public. (Which is a real feat here).

Christiane Taubira

° The Queen ™

° She's from French Guyana.

° Everybody loves her.

° She’s amazing, that’s all you need to know.

° She won’t let you mess with her: she might be smoll but she’s always ready to brawl (and clash you in the Assemblée Nationale).

° Has the law legalizing gay marriage named after her, like how cool is that???

Jean-Luc Mélenchon

° He's on the far-left.

° He's the hologram guy, loves modern technology.

° Has developed a legit game called "Fiscal Kombat", where the Mélenchon character fights other French politicians to make them give back money, counter frauds and earn as much cash as possible to implement his program.

° He's actually from Morocco.

° Is either angry or will take a great satisfaction in publicly clashing you.

° He has no chill and will call you out to your face.

° Always up for a fight and lives off drama.

° Is a sore looser tho.

Our international players:

Justin Trudeau

° The French speaking cousin ™ (with a slight accent)

° He’s not French but he’s basically considered as part of the fandom.

° Like Macron would say, he’s “part of the club” (yes, he really did use that expression).

° He got on well enough with the previous government,and currently has a thriving bromance with Macron.

° They probably diss Trump together in French.

° We’re all looking forward to anything more they can give us.

° Can also be spotted on photos with François Hollande and Manuel Valls.

Theresa May

° The annoying friend from across the Channel.

° Brexit with Benefits ™

° Likes football.

° Speaks English only.

° Probably a source of conflict over Europe and the EU.

° Still the English member of our Franco-British (or soon to be English-only?) bromance.

° Hopefully introduced Manu to the wonders that are Fish & Chips.

Barack Obama

° He may no longer be president but we still love him.

° Had a soft spot for Hollande’s poor English.

Angela Merkel

° Proud member of the pro-EU squad.

° Holds the flag for the Franco-German bromance.

° Was bros with Sarkozy and seems to like Macron a lot.

° Also an avid football supporter.

As for our ships, well here’s what we’ve got to offer :))

The French only ships

Vallande: François Hollande and Manuel Valls

° I don’t know, it’s the first of the political ships I really heard of.

° Apparently it was a thing??

° Basically the president and his Prime Minister.

° There is legit real fanart out there if you look hard.

° They seemed to be happy when they were together sometimes, so I guess there’s that??

° Unfortunately they then broke up when Valls left Hollande’s government to run for the left wing primaries. I guess not every pairing can have a happy ending :(

° **Edit: I just happen to have found an entire blog dedicated to the ship (Vallande is real les amis), and it's the most unlikely thing ever but also fucking hilarious! (Je ne sais pas qui est derrière ce Tumblr, mais... Merci, pour le coup, ça m'a bien fait rire ^^).

° **Edit 2: Guys, just... Check the “Vallande“ tag, I promise it’s worth it. ^^

M&M’s/Vacron: Manuel Valls and Emmanuel Macron

° Probably the most popular/biggest ship in the fandom for now.

° They have a complicated ™ relationship.

° They used to be kind of friends??? But Macron essentially stabbed Valls in the back by using Valls’ declining popularity and problems to push himself forward. ° I’m not even sure where they stand at now. Probably former colleagues?

° Although Valls did immediately back Macron after losing the socialist primary final to Hamon (whether that is to be taken as a sense of affection/friendship/something else towards Macron, I’ll let you decide for yourself).

° We still ship them though.

° All the more so because there are lots of pics (and non-photoshopped ones I might add) that are out there.

° (Perhaps they even ship themselves, who knows?)

° Oh and Vall's official nickname for Macron when they were in the same government was "Microbe", which basically means germ (if you translate it literally) or squirt.

° We also have AO3 fics and fanart. (Seriously, the M&M's fandom is amazing :)).

(Add Myriam El Khomri and you get an OT3).

(But Valls and El Khomri look more like embarrassed parents and Macron their overly-enthusiastic five year-old).

(Or you can add Najat Vallaud-Bellkacem if you’d prefer).

Cinnhamonbourge: Benoît Hamon and Arnaud Montebourg

° The Cuties ™.

° Also quite popular in the fics and fanart territory.

° Fluff, fluff and more fluff. (And possibly the occasional angst, but it's mostly fluff).

° Team “Looks like a cinnamon roll and actually is a cinnamon roll”.

° Well Hamon is, Montebourg can get a little more angry at times.

° But they like each other, that’s the most important part.

° Both are now former members of the PS, Montebourg quit in 2014 and Hamon only a month ago.

° Used to hang out together a lot.

° Probably diss Hollande (and Macron’s) government together.

° Organize cool-looking parties.

° Like flowers.

° Probably drowning their sorrows and crying over the state of French politics together. (With a bottle of fine champagne).

(You can even add Valls if you want an OT3, not sure they’d get along tho).

(Is Macrontebourg also a thing? Just askin’) (Although we all know Arnaud and Benoît belong together).

Along with Montebourg, apparently Hamon and Taubira were also good friends :)

Marine Le Pen x Florian Philippot

° I think this is also a thing?

° They’re basically the Evil Power Couple of French politics.

° Probably want to dominate France and are secretly building a “Grand Villain Manifesto” for the 2022 elections.

° They can stay together as long as they don’t bother us.

° Apparently people also ship Le Pen and Mélenchon???

° Is it a hate-ship??

° (Je n'en sais rien vraiment, mais je suis tombée dessus une ou deux fois… Je ne sais toujours pas trop quoi en penser ^^).

Team Destroy Capitalism: Nathalie Arthaud and Philippe Poutou

° Like the ship name suggests, they hate capitalism.

° The far-left bros.

° They’re full of bitterness and full of salt.

° Arthaud is Angry ™, elle est là pour NIQUER SES MERES.

° Often angry. Just a reminder.

° Poutou has no chill and will fight you even though he’s only a factory worker for Ford, who works REALLY HARD.

° (But he’s cool). (He can also be really nice and really cute).

° Arthaud will also fight you, especially on capitalism. Arthaud x Capitalism is probably her biggest NOTP.

° Team Tiny Candidates.

The international ships

Merkozy: Angela Merkel and Nicolas Sarkozy (aka President Bling Bling ™).

° I wasn’t really following politics all that much back in 2007.

° Apparently they were like BFF’s, and are one of the early bro-ships in French politics??

° The Oldie but Goldie, I guess that’s what we could roll with?

° The Smol bros.

° I don’t know whether they are still in touch or not but let’s hope so, because Merkel’s huge smiles are literal rays of sunshine.

Don't ask me, but there was also something with Hollande.

And Valls.

And she seems to be climbing up the new BFF scale with Macron too.

Hobama: François Hollande and Barack Obama

° Obama seemed to get along well with Macron’s clumsy predecessor, maybe his poor English even grew on him after a while.

° “Ah na wol spriking in French because ay oblairge ay oblaïge to do that.”

° President Classy ™ and President Awkward ™.

° They both exited the world stage at the same time at the end of 2016, right before shit got real.

° Might be keeping in touch and maybe even mounting a scheme to take out the Crazy Orange Cheeto (okay probably not, but let’s just imagine for a second that they are really doing this?)

(Obama was also friends with Sarkozy, if you were wondering).

Macdeau: Justin Trudeau and Emmanuel Macron

(C'est bien Macdeau le "nom officiel"? Parce que j'ai vu des choses du style Macreau, Trudon et Trudō également)

° Highly anticipated bromance that came about shortly after Macron won the election.

° Basically became canon in Taormina when they met for the G7 Summit, and we got the pics of them strolling along in the flowery gardens. (Looking extremely similar to that one scene in Game of Thrones between Margaery and Sansa)

° Trudeau is Toll ™ and Macron is Smoll ™.

° Always smiling.

° New pics and Twitter posts are always welcomed and widely shared. ° They’re always happy together and as long as their bromance is thriving, so are we.

(( But if you’d rather ship him with Valls, then there’s also canon photos you can use too :) ))

Then we've also got this but:

Does it

Really warrant

An explanation?

(There aren't any pictures, but just in case you were wondering, our friend Mister Donald the Crazy Orange Cheeto also rooted for her during the elections).

Maycron: Theresa May and Emmanuel Macron

° Also a G7 baby.

° Speak English together.

° Trying to mend bridges between the UK and France. (Because from what I’ve gathered, neither Sarkozy or Hollande were apparently great friends with David Cameron).

° Give affectionate hugs.

° Probably butt heads over topics like Europe and Brexit since May wants out of the EU and Macron is arguably one of the EU leader who loves the EU the most (like I said, Macron x EU is as canon as Emmanuel x Brigitte).

° Share a passion and enthusiasm for football. May can even be a little bit too enthusiastic sometimes ;)

° Probably also vent about the Orange Cheeto to one another.

And as a Franco-Irish member of the French lolitics fandom, I'm also really happy to be able to say that

French politicians

Seem to have an ongoing bromance

With their Irish counterparts

That doesn't seem to be going anywhere anytime soon :)

And if you really want to go deep down, here are the over-the-top-not-really-serious-recurring-pairings you can also find:

Benoît Hamon x Kebabs (It’s pure, it’s lovely, and believe it or not, it’s way more popular than you’d think more popular than Macron at any rate).

François Fillon & "Rends l'argent" (we basically want him to give back the public money he stole).

Eva Joly x The Green Glasses

° Kind of an older pairing, since it goes back to the 2012 elections (she didn't run this year).

° Joly usually wore red glasses, but to represent her Green Party (EELV), she campaigned with a pair of green ones.

° Basically what she was remembered for.

° Maybe she still wears them?

Emmanuel Macron x Cordons bleus (the truest OTP of this 2017 presidential campaign and we understand him, those things taste like heaven).

François Hollande x Being Akward (pretty much what you can resume his five-year presidency as).

Benoît Hamon x His glasses (they even have their own Twitter account apparently at LunettesBenoit).

Apparently he loves them so much he went and bought a bunch of them right before the presidential race began.

Marine Le Pen & Being a scary arsehole (basically she hates anything non 100% French, was high on drugs or something during her debate with Macron and couldn’t make coherent arguments. Blames immigrants, non French citizens and Muslims for everything wrong in the country).

She’s basically our equivalent of the horrors known as Donald Trump, Geert Wilders, Frauke Petry and Nigel Farage.

(Unsurprisingly, she's also friends with all of them).

French politicians in general x Being assaulted with food ingredients: whether it’s flour, eggs or the hand that whisks them up in the form of a slap, Valls, Macron, Le Pen, Sarkozy, Fillon and Hollande have all had it thrown at them. ^^

Après, si j'en ai oublié d'autres, n'hésitez pas à les rajouter, histoire de faire répandre nos ships et la fandom politique française à l'international! C'est ma toute première contribution, donc je n'ai probablement pas donné une liste exhaustive :))

#Hello je suis un peu nouvelle dans la fandom #et je découvre encore tous les blogs de lolitique super sympa :)#shipping politicians is also a *thing* over here #and you're all welcome to join us #French lolitics #upthebaguette #(c'est bien ça le tag pour tout ce qui est politique française?)#(j'aime trop le M&M's d'ailleurs :))#('faut vraiment que je tente la fic aussi)#lolitics

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grass-skirt · 8 years ago

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I’m well overdue for this, but it’s finally time for me to talk about the Wonder Woman movie! I saw it about a week and a half ago after 3 previous failed attempts to see it, so it was an ordeal. But it was well worth it because I had a blast.

Themyscira was absolutely gorgeous. I was blown away by how incredible it looked. Honestly that alone was enough to make my eyes water just a bit. And I actually had a tear or two roll out of my eye at the scene where Diana stormed the Front. It wasn’t the first time we’d seen her fight, but it was her very first battle outside of Themyscira--her first stand and action as “Wonder Woman”. It was amazing and it made me emotional.

There’s a lot to be said about the interactions between Steve Trevor and Diana. I’ve always felt that Steve Trevor is a very... risky character. At this point in time it’s such a sexist, trope-ish relationship setup. Just the whole “he’s the first man this woman has ever met so she’s automatically going to fall in love with him” scenario. And it’s so easy to make his character into this blowhard jerk. Which is exactly what Joss Whedon did in his scrapped 2006 script for a WW movie

I feel like this one paragraph has it all--calling a woman delusional, insinuating that she causes her own problems, the hardcore objectification, and blaming her for his feelings. Like holy shit it’s almost impressive how bad this was. But seeing this helps to contrast what we almost got with what we did get. And what we did get was pretty darn good.

There were things like innuendos between Steve and Diana, but they weren’t really at Diana’s expense. The movie did a good job of making Steve likable, and the interactions between him and Diana enjoyable. Yes, Steve did have to semi-babysit Diana while in London, and he had to teach her so much about the world outside of Themyscira. But again, the movie handled these very easily shitty stock situations quite well. Like, in London, I felt that the butt of the joke of Diana’s inability to understand how women were expected to act was on the society, not on Diana. When a room full of powerful, influential men got flabbergasted and incensed because a woman walked in, we were laughing at them, not at her.

Out at the war, Diana was naive. She didn’t understand things, and Steve did. However, Diana was still the hero. She still stormed the front. She did what everyone believed to be impossible. She inspired everyone around her, including Steve. And Steve? For all his measured, worldly knowledge and wisdom, still made mistakes. Like yeah, of course Steve was going to stop Diana when she tried to kill a general during a dinner party right before the war was about to be negotiated to a close. Of course he stopped her from acting recklessly without understanding what the consequences of her actions would be. And what happened? An entire village of people was needlessly slaughtered for it. The takeaway from that whole scene wasn’t, “Jeez Diana stop being so stupid and just listen to what the man tells you, okay?” It was a complicated situation where no matter what happened it was going to be bad. So even though we still had the clash between Steve’s mature understanding of the world and Diana’s naive one, it was still framed in a way that kept them as equals, rather than shoving Diana down to build up Steve.

It might just be because I’m biased, but this was possibly the only time that I didn’t feel that a villain saying to the hero “hey you should join me we should totally work together to kill all humans or whatever” was completely stupid. I liked that they went with the “Diana is a demigod” origin for her, since it worked for this (human people going “all humans should die” is ~edgy~ but literal gods debating it is another matter). And it worked well with Diana’s established character history in the film. She was raised in an isolated utopian society were she, for the most part, was taught that men were good. They were wise and gentle, and it was only through the treachery of Ares that these good men did evil. Diana was virtuous, noble, and courageous, and she believed that mankind was too. Ares barely had to do a thing because mankind committed their atrocities all on their own. So when it finally became clear to her how wrong she had been, she was understandably devastated.

And Ares wanted to do something about it. He didn’t seek to destroy mankind because he was evil. He sought to destroy mankind because they were evil. So, in that moment, I felt his offer to Diana. His offer to Diana didn’t try to appeal to greed or a desire for power. It appealed to her sense of justice. To simply continue doing what she’s been doing--destroying evil so that good can prosper. Starting over so that the world could actually be a utopia, free from the selfish, callous, and hateful cruelty of mankind. But of course, what made Diana the hero was the fact that she could still see the good in mankind, where Ares couldn’t. That inability to accept the existence of a world of grey was what made Ares the villain. So I really liked that Ares tried to get Diana to join him. It was an offer that was noble in intent but absolutely evil all the same, which is what a lot of the bad in the world is like. But Diana rose above that and overall I thought the whole journey was a great way to develop her character.

Finally, there was one issue I took with the movie tho. Ares in the flashback. They didn’t need have David Thewlis play Ares in the brief flashback too--after he was defeated and cast down by Zeus. Ares has always been able to change his form so there’s no reason as to why they needed to have him be a pale British man in his 50s with a stupid 1910s-style English mustache. Why not also have Zeus be played by Mr. Bean or John Cleese while they’re at it?

Aside from that 3 second noticeable error in judgement, I enjoyed the movie a lot and thought they did a good job on pretty much every front. With any luck I’ll have a chance to watch it a second time this summer!

#wonder woman #DC #wonder woman movie #diana #steve trevor #my reviews #wonder woman spoilers

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earlgraytay · 8 years ago

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thanks to this i now want to write a COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS AU fic of DUBIOUS HISTORICAL VERITY AND CHARACTERISATION but because i have ZERO TIME and about TWO SPOONS and who the freg actually wants to read a ALW!POTO/Matilda crossover fic, you get the not!fic version instead

Christine retires from the opera because idk trauma + marriage but before she can get married to Raoul Something Happens of a nonfatal nature idk raoul has an Elderly Great-Uncle of Plot Convenience who says that they CANNOT MARRY because reasons

and raoul’s trying to convince him otherwise but shitty great-uncle is like NOPE

raoul would rather be poor but happy with christine but at the same time he doesn’t want to watch her suffer moar so he’s like “i’m going to try to take care of this for a year and if that doesn’t work then we just elope like hooligans ok? ok”

So Christine’s like ‘freg this I’m going to support myself until we get this settled’ and winds up becoming the governess for the TRULY TERRIBLE WORMWOOD FAMILY who are idk nouveau riche english expat garbage fire people instead of Literally The Alpha Couple From Tallahassee If They Were British And Had Children. except that mr. wormwood is still danny devito.

of course she becomes matilda’s Real Mum in about ten seconds because who doesn’t. and she notices matilda’s spooky powers and also that matilda has a lovely voice and starts trying to teach her to sing. by doing so christine starts to work through The Mess That Is Erik and be okay with singing again...

uuuuuuuuntil erik shows up. like a bad penny.

it’s not for “STALKING OF CHRISTINE!!!1! LOVE NEVAR DIES!!!!” reasons tho. turns out erik had ~spooky matilda powers~ as a kid and sorta grew out of them when he discovered music and architecture and shit. and he’s coming to kidnap matilda because PEOPLE DON’T UNDERSTAND AND HATE AND FEAR THEIR KIND!!!!eleventy!!!!

but christine is there. and christine is Not Happy To See Him. christine is the exact opposite of happy and may or may not hit him with the fire poker out of sheer instinctive fear. she tries to get him to Bug Off Forever.

he manages to convince her that he’s trying to do the right thing and she manages to convince him that kidnapping small children off to your hell lair is wrong. but then matilda’s all “ok but i want to be kidnapped though. just not Like That, that sounds like a bad idea.”

the three of them hatch a plan together to get Matilda Out and to get the Wormwoods Out Of France Forever. with No Murder, even!

and erik kind of sort of tries to apologise for his Bullshit and really has no idea how because what the hell do you say after trying to murder your crush’s boyfriend and scare her into living with you in your secret murder lair. there is nothing you can really say. there is nothing that makes that better at all ever. christine’s like “cool motive still murder” but she does sort of forgive him. at least for as long as it takes to get Matilda The Hell Out.

they convince the wormwoods their house is haunted through ingenious use of Parrots, A Few Cunning Traps, and other Shenaniganery. meanwhile christine figures out how to adopt matilda once she and raoul get hitched.

raoul finally manages to get Shitty Plot Device Great Uncle to consent to their marriage and they GET MARRIED with MANY FANCY DRESSES and Matilda gets to wear a FANCY DRESS too. and erik is DECENT ENOUGH NOT TO SHOW UP even in an ‘i’m in ur rooftops singin dramatic emo songs’ way. it is a FANTASTIC LOVELY WEDDING.

and the way things shake out, raoul and christine are matilda’s mum and dad now and they make sure she gets the Best Damn Education Physically Possible for a young girl in 1800s France. and erik manages to redeem himself enough to be the Weird Uncle who occasionally shows up with Various Bizarre Things for a friendly chat, though he manages never to do it when raoul’s around for the obvious reasons. and he has enough of a family now that he can start healing a little inside too.

and matilda grows up to be idk a great author or the first french female astrophysicist or something. and They All Live Happily Ever After, the end.

#poto #matilda #phantom of the opera #not!fic #this is Very Silly #long post #fanfic

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rorybergstrom · 6 years ago

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hello, it’s swamp witch nora again…. hitting u with a tiny baby boy who is also terrible (sometimes). musical softboi who loves karl marx and hates children dying in cobalt mines to make smart phones. as is tradition, here’s the pinterest board, have a peruse x

「 timothee chalamet. cismale. 」have you seen rory bergström around yet? i hear he’s decided to be in AUDAX for their JUNIOR year as a MUSIC TECHNOLOGY major. the 23 year old SHEEP is known to be fanatical, eccentric, nitpicky and dogmatic. ➨ the muse is written by nora, she/her, 23, gmt.

aesthetics.

tw ocd, anxiety, drugs

half-swedish, half-british. the swedish is on his mother’s side. he’s bilingual but thinks in english. only really speaks swedish around his mother. only child, and kinda put a lot of pressure on himself to be the Perfect Kid when he was young, but his parents are honestly, quite decent? and just want him to have a nice life, they don’t care if he isn’t successful or rich or anything, they’re honestly rather solid. (wow imagine having Nice Parents, a first for all my characters, im literally this meme)

was bullied a lot at school. [cole sprouse voice] he didn’t fIT iN AND HE DIDN’T wANT TO fIT iN. unironically wore a trenchcoat to school every day of his life. spent most of his lunchtimes in the library because it was his Safe Space. as a result he knows…. loads of useless information because 30% of his school years were spent reading anthologies on space and the vikings etc. would be good on a game show. obsessively recorded every episode of university challenge as a child.

middle-class and lowkey quite wealthy but rarely talks about money, one of those well-off people who still wears really old shitty shoes and only spends money if they absolutely have to

virgin who can’t drive

into star wars, not into the big bang theory. feminist. can’t watch horror movies

favourite film is where the wild things are. also loves the florida project. thinks kids are the sweetest thing and can’t wait to be a dad to some

a techno connoisseur. has been making electronic music since he was about twelve.

after his parents divorce, when he was fourteen, rory & his mother moved to run-down suburban neighbourhood, pittsfield, massachussets.

big into photography. he mostly uses a canon 35mm camera, but occasionally uses disposable ones when he wants that more rustic feel.

falls in love 12 times a day. never had a girlfriend or boyfriend. gets sweaty when someone cute looks at him. flirting?? what?? would prefer to idealise them from a distance

gender??? hm. doesn’t really know where he fits yet, sometimes he feels like a guy and sometimes they dont feel like anything at all. isn’t really bothered, cos they think it’s a social construct anyway. uses he/they pronouns interchangeably, but feels like ‘he’ is more fitting. won’t necessarily pull anyone up on it cos he knows having an identity that’s constantly…. in flux.. can be annoying for others … and doesn’t want to be a burden EVEN THO it isn’t at all?? rory internalises guilt

secretly a small-scale drug dealer, only does weed n some party pills. rollerskates around campus dealing cos they dnt have a car

long haired, aesthetic is like… timmy in lady bird n beautiful boy

plot ! with ! me ! i’d say all the usual “exes fwb hookups spiel” but rory… has never hooked up with anyone… i feel like a deer in the headlights of love……. so give me

study buddies,

people who are also into techno and are music snobs about it,

people who love all kinds of music,

people who are in bands that maybe rory’s recorded and produced stuff for,

people he actually jams with (he plays bass and synth),

unrequited crushes!!

someone they met at a knitting club in freshman year and have remained friends with despite no longer going to it

people rory knows from open mic nights and gigs

library girlfriends / boyfriends that he stares at longingly while paging through leatherbound volumes

gamers !!! social recluses !!! hermits !!

people he deals weed to on his rollerskates (why r all my characters obsessed with rollerskates)

skaters. rory is really shit at skateboarding. like really shit. help the smol

#message me u cowards x #wshedintro #i feel like som of this..... will hav changed since i wrote this intro..... but..... i walk on the wild side

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coquuin · 6 years ago

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really LONG CHARACTER SURVEY. RULES. repost , don’t reblog ! good luck !

TAGGED. i stole it from Kiki!! TAGGING. whoever wants to do it!!

BASICS.

FULL NAME: Ezekiel Axel Ruiz Rosario

NICKNAME: Zeke

AGE: (Verse dependent) anywhere from 19 to 25! most often tho, i usually make him 25.

BIRTHDAY: November 15 (self given bc he doesnt know his real birthday)

ETHNIC GROUP: Puerto Rican / Latino

NATIONALITY: British-American

LANGUAGE(S): English, Spanish, Dutch, Japanese, Latin, Romanian, some Russian, and some Chinese! he likes to study languages a lot....

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Demi-Pansexual

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Demi-Panromantic

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Hes multiship boiiii

CLASS: Upper class, though he really doesnt have very expensive tastes or anything. Seems like he’d be lower class, but. yknow, he is a celebrity so.

HOMETOWN / AREA: London, England

CURRENT HOME: A very small and shitty apartment. Yeah, he could get a much better home bc he does have the money, but... hes weird and likes a more slightly cramped space. dont question Ezekiel, he has weird preferences.

PROFESSION: Guitarist of the rock band Rogue! also used to work at a music shop when he was like 17, but that was back in London.

PHYSICAL.

HAIR: Very curly and messy black hair! He hardly bothers to take care of it. its prolly greasy bc hes a fucking gremlin pls make him take a shower. stinky boye

EYES: BIG OL FUCKIN EYES. they’re brown! a little sunken, and has massive bags under them--rather than the bags being from lack of sleep, though, theyre actually a result of too much sleep! Ezekiel can and WILL fall asleep wherever and whenever he wants. you cant stop him. his eyes are pretty big actually, and very expressive!

NOSE: the bitch looks like its been broken like ten times. he got a weird ass nose. its a little big, but not terribly so!

FACE: scrawny as FUCK. motherfucker’s head shape looks like a fuckin crescent moon. you know that one tiktok meme with the girl who has the weird ass moon lookin head? bitch looks like that a little bit. croissant lookin ass head.

LIPS: very thin! pls get him some chapstick

COMPLEXION: bitch looks like he hasnt gone out in the sun in over 20 years! which, actually, isnt entirely wrong bc he pretty much hasn’t. pale as fuck! his skin looks gray, like a fucking corpse. he looks like a zombie, but i swear to god hes a plain ass human i think

BLEMISHES: a lot! mostly on his body tho, especially on his back.

SCARS: A L O T!!! his back is literally covered in a shit ton of scars in the shape of upside down crosses, and he has a lot on the rest of his body as well, and several on his left wrist. yeah he, uh... he aint okay

TATTOOS: None! hes way too terrified to get one and hates the idea of one being stuck on his body for like the rest of his life rip

HEIGHT: 6′ 3″ / 190.05cm

WEIGHT: about like... 98lbs?? which is. fUCKING TERRIBLE FOR HOW TALL HE IS!!! LIKE HOLY SHIT EZEKIEL ARE YOU GOOD??? HOW ARE YOU ALIVE?!?!?! EZEKIEL?!?!?!?! FUCKING EAT SOMETHING PL EASE

BUILD: SCRAWNY AS SHIT. HE IS SO SKINNY HOLY SHIT. OH MY GOD GET THIS BOY A FUCKING BURGER OR SOMETHING BEFORE HE DIES JESUS CHRIST!!!!

ALLERGIES: Dandelions! He’ll just sneeze a lot around them

USUAL HAIRSTYLE: The bangs are kiiiinda kept to the side sorta just so its not falling in his eyes, but other than that, he doesnt really bother to like, style it or anything. its just curly and messy. although! when he was a child all the way to his teens, he did have a stupid ass bowlcut! but that wasnt his own choice, so he cant really be blamed for it :(

USUAL FACE LOOK: motherfucker has the WORST case of resting bitch face you will ever fucking see. even when hes happy he still looks angery sometimes!!! but thats literally just his fucking face!!!!

USUAL CLOTHING: a looot of slightly baggy clothing. lots of hoodies! especially wears a lot of black and red, mostly black. also wears mostly boots or sneakers, usually the ladder. he just doesnt really give two shits about fashion, as he’s more concerned with just sorta.. hiding his body. hes very insecure! save him

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR(S): "the devil”, getting close to anyone, performing in front of people, people in general, cats, knives & other sharp objects, the sight of his own blood

ASPIRATION(S): "to escape the Devil’s wrath,” as he phrases it. of course, the whole ‘THE DEVIL IS OUT TO KILL EVERYONE I LOVE AND THEN HE’LL KILL ME NEXT’ thing is obviously just in Ezekiel’s head, but it feels very real to him! he basically just wants to be free of the “demons” in his head. aside from that, he also really really reeaaally wants to own an orphanage someday! basically take in orphan kids and help give them a much better life than he had. but as for right now, he fully realizes he’s not ready for that at all, so he’s currently more focused on his music career and getting better mentally, though the ladder is a slow process.

POSITIVE TRAITS: Patient, simple, humble

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Rude, temperamental, paranoid

ZODIAC: Scorpio!

TEMPERAMENT: uhhhh fuck idk i just took a quiz for this and ezekiel got like a tie between phlegmatic and melancholic--but if i had to guess, i’d say melancholic!

SOUL TYPE(S): Spiritualist!

ANIMALS: i always associate Ezekiel with dogs bc. he literally just acts like a fuckin angery dog. and an angery snake or something. bUT MOSTLY DOGS. he will literally bark at people, because he’s a fucking weirdo who doesnt know how to behave like a normal fucking human being

VICE HABIT(S): uhhh drugs and alcohol are a big thing he does!! and generally pushing everyone away so he doesnt get close to anyone! and also acting like a gotdam ANIMAL. SOMEONE PLS MAKE EZEKIEL STOP FUCKING BARKING AND HISSING AT PEOPLE!!!

FAITH: Christian! his religion is very important to him too!

GHOSTS?: Yes!

AFTERLIFE?: Yes!

REINCARNATION?: He isn’t really sure about reincarnation, but wants to believe it exists.

ALIENS?: Yes.

POLITICAL ALIGNMENT: fuck if he knows. ezekiel could not give less of a shit about politics and hardly knows anything about it bc he really doesnt keep up with anything.

SOCIO POLITICAL POSITION: he doesnt give a fuck

EDUCATION LEVEL: None. he never even went to school, fun fact!

FAMILY.

FATHER: Dead!

MOTHER: Dead!

SIBLINGS: None!

EXTENDED FAMILY: None!

NAME MEANING(S): Ezekiel means “God will strengthen”! I have no idea what Rosario means sadly bc i cant find anything good on it on google :(

HISTORICAL CONNECTION?: None that he knows of.

FAVORITES.

BOOK: He couldn’t possibly pick a single favorite book--he loves a lot! but he loves mostly romance genres! which is so fucking ironic considering he’s fucking terrified of getting into relationships. and even more ironically? he doesnt read any horror genres bc it scares him too much!

MOVIE: he doesn’t know.

5 SONGS: While My Guitar Gently Weeps - the Beatles; Brick in the Wall - Pink Floyd; Stairway to Heaven - Led Zeppelin; Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen; Don’t Fear the Reaper - Blue Oyster Cult.

DEITY: God, Jesus

HOLIDAY: Christmas! everyone expects Ezekiel to be like the grinch or something and hate Christmas, but nope! He surprisingly loves it!

MONTH: March

SEASON: Fall

PLACE: His bed

WEATHER: Preferably a little cold, but not too much, bc he just cant stand being hot--and completely dark outside!

SOUND: Gentle guitar strums.

SCENT(S): Ivory

TASTE(S): Anything thats like. Meat. hes very picky tho

FEEL(S): Skin. As in, like, being affectionate with someone else! He’s just very touch starved rip

ANIMAL(S): Yknow, oddly enough, despite acting like a fuckin wild animal a lot, he doesnt like animals much. but definitely dogs are his favorite!

NUMBER: 20

COLORS: Red and black--though he likes blue as well, especially dark blue.

EXTRA.

TALENTS: Music--especially with guitar! And painting, writing, literature.

BAD AT: Anything to do with math or science and stuff like that; anything that requires physical work. hes p much bad at like.. most things tbh.

TURN ONS: Just like.. be soft and gentle with him... also probably has a lowkey praise kink--if you could call it much of a kink i guess? hes pretty vanilla tbh. hes just soft.....

TURN OFFS: If you go rough on him at all he WILL cry. Also anything that, like, restricts him like ropes or some shit will literally make him panic so fucking bad. basically hes just vanilla as fuck, just be gentle with him pls

HOBBIES: Writing / playing music, writing in general, painting, watching random ass movies on TV until he falls asleep, sleeping, avoiding his problems like the fuckin wind

TROPES: man fuck if i know

AESTHETIC TAGS: literally all of Aurelio Voltaire’s songs; shit you’d see in Halloween (which is funny bc Ezekiel fucking hates Halloween); vampires; satanic symbolism. which is all ironic, bc Ezekiel doesnt actually like spooky shit! but it all sure does give big Ezekiel vibes anyway

GPOY QUOTES: huh

FC INFO.

MAIN FC(S): Jack the ripper from, well, Oyasumi Jack the Ripper!

ALT FC(S): None!

OLDER FC(S): None!

YOUNGER FC(S): None rip

VOICE CLAIM(S): Murdoc Niccals from Gorillaz

GENDERBENT FC(S): iiiiii dont really do genderbends pretty much so none

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1: IF YOU COULD WRITE YOUR CHARACTER YOUR WAY IN THEIR OWN MOVIE, WHAT WOULD IT BE CALLED, WHAT STYLE WOULD IT BE FILMED IN, AND WHAT WOULD IT BE ABOUT?:

Honestly probably something like the movie Sybil??? like basically just delving deep into his whole psychology and mindset and whatnot and why he acts the way he acts. those are always like my FAVORITE type of movies, and Ezekiel would honestly be fucking perfect for something like that bc literally every single aspect of his entire personality has been molded in some way shape or form by some event in his life, especially to do with the cult he was raised in, and it hONESTLY IS SO INTERESTING TO JUST LIKE.. STUDY WHAT EZEKIELS BRAIN IS LIKE BASICALLY. AT LEAST FOR ME ANYWAY BC I AM HIS MUN AND ALL BUT.

Q2: WHAT WOULD THEIR SOUNDTRACK / SCORE SOUND LIKE?:

for some reason i always kinda associate him with like edgy violin and piano music?? i mean hey rock stars can be classy too fuck u

Q3: WHY DID YOU START WRITING THIS CHARACTER?:

WELL ORIGINALLY WHEN I FIRST CREATED HIM HE WAS JUST BASED OFF MURDOC NICCALS BC, YALL ALREADY KNOW DAMN WELL IM OBSESSED WITH THAT PICKLE MAN, BUT. Now, however, he’s WAAAAAAAAY different and i just love writing him so much bc like. basically like what i said in the movie question!! he is SO fucking interesting to delve into psychology wise. like, yeah he has an edgy ass tragic backstory, but whats neat about that is you can absolutely see how said edgy backstory ties into his mindset and individual habits and how the memories of it still affects his everyday life despite the fact that he’s escaped it a long time ago now. even in the small things he does, chances are is that every single thing that he does is either something he does to soothe and comfort himself for his own safety, or something that has just been fucking drilled into his mind by the cult members and whatnot, if any of that makes sense? LIKE YALL DONT UNDERSTAND I HAVE LITERALLY WATCHED LIKE HOURS LONG DOCUMENTARIES ON ORPHANAGES AND SATANIC CULTS AND PSYCHOLOGY AND HOW TRAUMA LIKE WHAT EZEKIEL EXPERIENCED CAN FUCK SOMEONE UP, JUST FOR THE SAKE OF WRITING HIM CORRECTLY AND REALISTICALLY. LIKE HE STARTED OFF AS SOME MURDOC NICCALS REJECT WHEN I MADE HIM IN LIKE?? 2015 MAYBE??? BUT NOW, MY MAIN INTEREST IN HIM IS LIKE, HOW FASCINATING HIS FUCKING MIND IS IN A WAY. idk im a big psychology nerd but.

Q4: WHAT FIRST ATTRACTED YOU TO THIS CHARACTER?:

Murdoc

Q5: DESCRIBE THE BIGGEST THING YOU DISLIKE ABOUT YOUR MUSE:

him pushing everyone away! like its one thing to have a self-defense mechanism like where you just generally act kinda mean to drive people off, but Ezekiel can really take it to a whole new level and he really can be like.. a hUGE ASSHOLE BC OF IT. its mostly when he realizes that he may be starting to become close with anyone that it really gets to a bad point and he becomes all the more self-destructive. THIS IS GONNA BE VERY UNSANITARY SO WARNING BUT hes literally told someone in an rp once like “YOURE GOING TO FORCE ME TO EAT YOUR SHIT OR DRINK YOUR FUCKING URINE JUST LIKE THOSE FUCKING PEOPLE IN THE ORPHANAGE DID, ARENT YOU???? IS THAT WHAT YOU FUCKING WANT FROM ME?? TO USE ME, HURT ME, CUT ME, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT??? WE ARE NEVER GOING TO BE FUCKING FRIENDS YOU GODDAMN IDIOT!!! WHAT THE HELL MADE YOU THINK WE HAD ANYTHING IN COMMON??” AND ITS JUST KINDA.. YIKES SCOOB! but basically hes willing to say just about anything to push people away so he can avoid getting close to anyone

Q6: WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN COMMON WITH YOUR MUSE?:

WE BOTH FEAR AND AVOID ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS LIKE THE FUCKIN WIND. also when i was younger i definitely had a tendency to try and make people hate me just to push people away like Ezekiel does but im not like that anymore thankfully!!

Q7: HOW DOES YOUR MUSE FEEL ABOUT YOU?:

oh hed probably try to fucking kill me lol

Q8: WHAT CHARACTERS DOES YOUR MUSE HAVE INTERESTING INTERACTIONS WITH?

HONESTLY LIKE.. P MUCH EVERY INTERACTION EZEKIEL HAS IS SO GOOD. Ezekiel is one of those characters where its very hard to have a boring rp bc he just does so much shit, so like no matter who i rp him with, its bound to be amazing. ALTHOUGH I DO NEED TO MAKE HIM INTERACT WITH MORE PEOPLE TBH!!! the only problem i have when writing him sometimes is actually making him talk to new people, bc of his extreme shut-in attitude and whatnot, so he literally just never starts conversations with anyone he barely knows.

Q9: WHAT GIVES YOU INSPIRATION TO WRITE YOUR MUSE?:

listening to any music that reminds me of him! but otherwise, it usually just comes pretty naturally to me tbh. just some days ill be in the mood for him all day--same with a lot of my characters actually.

Q10: HOW LONG DID THIS TAKE YOU TO COMPLETE?:

A LONG ASS TIME

#shut up erica; ooc #ezekiel facts

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