#it would draw less attention
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I do genuinely like my neuroanatomy professor but I am gently shaking him by the shoulders in my mind. Sir you don’t have to vaguepost about me every time I startle. We both know. The whole class knows. “Well usually I like to startle you guys a bit- make sure you remember stuff- but some students get easily frightened…” YOU ONLY SAY THAT AFTER I DO IT. PLEASE STOP.
#I should probably like. say words out loud to him about this.#bc it is starting to bother me a lot.#like. I get that I startle a lot. I can’t really control it.#and I don’t super appreciate how he draws everyone’s attention to it#also when we had our exam last class he made an announcement beforehand#‘Blue is wearing headphones because he has special permission to. Don’t come asking me to wear headphones bc you don’t have that.’#and I about died on the spot.#just vaporize me with a ray gun next time My Gosh#or throw me in a crocodile tank and play circus music#it would draw less attention#blue chatter
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I tried to draw sheep Machete and goat Vasco (but I am not good at drawing goats, at all)
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#Macsheep and Goatsco#what do you mean I LOVE goat Vasco#the ears! the hejazi goat ears!#and his expression is just *chef's kiss* perfect#really captures that ungovernable goatlike glee#I like how he retained his smooth coat and sleek and curved shapes#and Machete looks very appropriate as a sheep as well#he would have even more reason to trim his neck wool as a sheep#come to think of it would he have to keep himself sheared at all times if he wanted his clothes to fit correctly?#and just keep the head fluff#I noticed that you paid attention to their snout shapes! sheep have kind of rabbitlike nose whereas goats have a smoother upper lip#with less prominent philtrum#I thought that was such a cool detail#something I often forget myself when I'm drawing these species#thank you!#gift art#arttsuka#Machete#Vasco#it's weird how much harder their expressions are to read solely because of the horizontal pupils#they're mammalian but lack that anthropomorphic familiarity I guess
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can't believe i'm still seeing anti-Charles/Edwin arguments in the form of "but there isn't enough representations of male friendship in media not everything has to be romantic (i.e., gay)." in what universe is there suddenly an influx of mainstream gay romances? Fanfic & Ao3 is not, in fact, a good indication of what is actually mainstream - fanfic specifically fills in the GAP left behind in mainstream - there is a reason a lot of popular ships are just, in fact, canonically male best friends (or female best friends).
it's fine not to be keen on Charles/Edwin but honestly I thought the whole "we need more male x male besties :(( otherwise we're gonna have a surplus of gay romances" was considered outdated last decade.
#dead boy detectives#payneland#edwin x charles#edwin payne#edwin paine#charles rowland#no but seriously i understand platonic relationships are important#but there are literally hundreds of platonic male friendships in the most popular forms of media today#like 'oh no if Charles realizes he's in love with Edwin it's going to make it seem as if platonic friendships aren't important'#when in fact I think it'll actually draw attention to a more important and less discussed issue#such as the fact that sometimes people don't realize they are bisexual/experience same sex attraction until much later in their life b/c of#you guessed it - comp het#anyway charles/edwin happening is not an attack on platonic male friendships but would in fact be the greatest love story of the 2020s so
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here's some benreys for y'all!!! it's meal time little ones!!!! nobody starves today. i provide
also random gordo he's here too i guess-
#hlvrai#benrey#gordon feetman#i really wanna just. spit out hlvrai content everywhere all the time#STUFF. i hate the word content. 's just stuff#i just wanna give back to the fandom yk?#i've been reading so much wonderful fanfiction lately and i love everyone's creativity so muchhh#and i Wanna Create!!!!!!#i wanna give back!!!!!#i wanna inspire!!!!!#screw depression i wanna write and draw and Scream#i've never written anything before#okay that was a lie but. like#i haven;t written stories in a While#like 4 years maybe#and Definitely haven't written anything in english#and i kinda sorta have ideas but not really#and i feel like im really bad at understanding characters and keeping them in my brain#and im so desperate for ideas but there isn't a Spark that would grab my attention and make me go brrrrrrrr#what do people do in situations like thisssss#is there like a weird silly way to write fanfic that makes things less scary..#weird upsidedown stupid little fanfic game thing#okay my brain blinked i think im done#i'll keep y'all updated maybe probably?#k thanks for coming to my ted talk byeeeee!!!#art tag or whatever
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"Ladies and gentlemen, what we have here is a vampire in love with a human. Better integration than I could possibly have dreamed."
(just some Sundown The Vampire in Retreat fanart. More details and B&W vers. under the cut, etc).
:)
#I thought this movie was really cute and charming in a lot of ways#also I love Bruce Campbell's look in this one so much I had to draw him#I wanted to make him really warm to contrast her vampiric appearance which is more or less what they do in the movie#although he's pretty gray#I also like the costume designer's attention to detail like everyone is dressed more or less like they would be at the time they died#and a vampire western is just one of those ideas you pull from a hat that sound insane and are#but anyway charming film! I watched it twice this year! Then what! It's full on youtube so it's easier#I feel like she looked more like the actress in the sketch ALSO her actress played Muffy in April Fools Day????!#I fucking love that movie so much and Muffy is my girl she's like such an insane genius I love her to death#that movie is like a very long Are You Afraid of the Dark episode and this movie is a fairy tale with vampires. Iconic choices honestly#sundown the vampire in retreat#bruce campbell#I usually don't tag actors or actresses but I deserve this one#fanart#artists on tumblr#art#digital art#illustration#my art#digital drawing#robert and sandy
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sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:
thing that I already do
thing I have tried 10 times
thing I already do
thing that I don't have the money to do
thing I already do
thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail
thing that is impossible given my situation
thing that doesn't apply to me
thing that I already do
thing I have already tried
hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently
thing I have already done
#I think maybe productivity tips help less if the reason you're unproductive is partially like.. physcial health and other extenral things#out of your control. rather than just like having trouble paying attention or spending too much time on tiktok or whatever#all the strategic to do lists in the world are not going to somehow prevent me from waking up with a debilitating migraine or whatever#or having external stressors or lacking resources and connections or other Productivity Essentials etc.#especially many tips involve stuff like 'cut off from social media' since thats the modern day time waster for so many poeple#and it's like.. lol.. i can hardly even maintain a blog even thuogh i actively WANT TO DO SO. 'shut off your smart phone!' already#done babey i fucking hate smart phones i shall never use an app unless i am forced to. 'delete tiktok' yep. already covered. tiktok and#all of those thinsg are my enemies. 'save money by cancelling some of your services' cool. already ahead of you.#who the fuck is out here paying for like 10 different subscription services. pirated videos uploaded to google drive and youtube to mp3#my beloved. etc. etc. and so on. 'socialize less' .........LOL.. if only you knew.. mr.writer of the article. i can barely muster#talking to friends more than once a month and even less if I'm actively sick (often occurence) etc. etc. ... hewoo#I think maybe instead of generic productivity tips I need more like.. how to refocus and be productive anyway even if you have a headache#or are nauseous or etc. Not that those are always things to ignore. and of course you should let your body rest and etc. But plenty of peop#e have mild physical symptoms and just work through them. Ithink something about the way my body/mind is SOO hyper attuned to all#sensory information just makes it like... constantly 'GRR well I cant focus on WRITING right now because my lef#t ear feels weird and my socks are too itchy and my back has a strange pressure and I'm vaguely warm and my eye feels some ssort of#way it doesnt normally feel and I'm hyperaware of my breathing and also nauseous for no reason' and like half of those things I#think '''normal''' people wouldnt even notice or at least would be able to just live through. but for me it's like.. nealry impossible to i#gnore and soooo distracting always. like 'wahh.. nooo we can't draw or get anything done.. my legs feel slightly heavy or something!!'#like............. ok......... who cares. thats not even a PAIN sensation it's just something weird. but it's just like.. NO. constant#mental alerts about the 'heaviness' of your legs be upon ye. Though Imean like.. yes.. 70% of the time I am in genuine pain#or having some sort of actual ailment with trackable physical symptoms. but sometimes it's just like... we could totally be working right#now and ignoring this silly thing but my brain is fixated on it for no reason uncontrollably. etc. etc. I guess it's the same way that like#most people can go to a grocery store without the whole experience being so overwhelming and so much stuff going on at once#that they have to rest afterwards but like.. in my own HOME doing NOTHING i feel like I should be able to not get overwhelmed lol. ANYWAY#Rolling my bastard little rock up a dumbass hill and so on and so forth
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Some mild existential dread in the house today
#im just feeling reeeeally really drained#works taking a LOT out of me#like. it feels less intense day to day? or maybe im reacting less? but its still very much piling up#and im just feeling very...idk. like im still waiting for permission to live my life#except now the permission osnt coming from any one person its. having the money to docit#and the time and the energy#and i guess thats just what adult life is? waiting#and hoping#and along the way losing sight of what i even wanted in the first place because im so *tired*#idk. i definitely need a project of some kind but im struggling to settle on something and then organise it#i have stuff to do today anyway. alfie had a lil bit of emergency cash saved so i need to go shopping#and i need to tidy the kitchen and do some dishes#and have a bath and shave at some point#i also want to draw but again. struggling ti pick something and idk if ill have the executive function spare#AND i want to try and be more social and talk to folks but thats its own kind of difficult#part of me would like a disc server that just has all of my friends in it bc i find it easier to dip in and out of conversarions#but i imagine that would be weird for folks who dont know each other#idk. lot goin through my mind when all i really want is sleep#which also hasnt been...greeeeat lately#mainly because Alfie wakes me up in the mornings bc they dont like being alone but also have a very different sleep schedule to me#and can take multiple smaller naps over a day whereas i really need a solid 8 or so hours or i just. dont fully switch on#but theyre also struggling atm (mentally and also they got an injury at work AND seperately broke their foot ffs)#so they need me more and its just#this never ending cycle of SOMETHING needs my attention#and its fucking exhausting asfghfkd#but!!! we keep goin!!!!! been applying for a bunch of jobs and havent heard anything positive yet but. we keep tryin huh
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I guess to follow up that I know as a fandom we agree that Odalia favors the twins but I kinda just realize, we haven’t seen her intact with them that much either. Does she favor them really? Or does she neglect them while abusing amity the most? And what do they think of her?
i think the facts that she favors them AND the fact that she just neglects them more while abusing amity more are both true
(i think around early s1 that was one of the sources of their rivalry with amity. amity resented them for being odalia's favorite, they resented amity because she got more attention from both parents)
i think it's best represented by that one scene in coth where she's scolding amity like "you've even got the twins to act out!" (whereas we know well that the twins do not need prompting to "act out" and that their plans for causing chaos were way more extreme than amity's). the mix of blaming amity but also clearly not knowing anything about her oldest children.
i think she may even have moments of expressing affection to them but it's things that just feel hollow. praises that feel more like she's praising herself, expensive gifts that don't suit their tastes at all, etc.
most of what we hear them say about her in canon is just "don't tell mom!" i think they mostly see her as the threat she is. but at the same time their feelings towards her are probably complicated, the way most people's feelings towards their shitty parents are at that age.
i think when they were young, they might have gravitated more towards her than alador, because they were her favorites but not his. but as they grew up they realized that both of their parents were pretty equally neglectful to them.
my headcanon is that soon post-divorce, they're equally wary of both alador and odalia, because both parents neglected them pretty equally throughout their childhood. but as time progresses, alador improves and apologizes while odalia stays stuck in her old ways and refuses to acknowledge her mistakes, so they slowly end up not talking to her anymore. like it's more of a gradual thing than the way amity cut her off. (i had begun exploring this idea in a post-canon fic that i never ended up finishing)
#eliot posts#toh#the owl house#odalia blight#emira blight#edric blight#i am projecting a wee bit onto them bc my family dynamic was like#i was my parents' favourite but my sister got more attention especially from my mother#(and my mother would POINT OUT that she was giving my sister more attention to like. make me jealous??? and my father was very obvious-#about favouring me. idk as some weird way to form a rivalry between us or something???)#so i'm kind of drawing from personal experience when i make the conjecture#that being the favourite and being neglected more (but directly abused less) can go hand in hand sometimes#tho yea being the favorite and being neglected more can Seem like v contradictory things of you aren't raised in that kind of situation lol#abuse mention
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what's crazy to me is multiple times i've received encouragement to start drawing again, even when i mention that the only reason i've considered drawing again is as a desperate ploy for attention
but whenever i talk about my writing i either get ignored or told to "write for yourself"
like just tell me you don't value writing as an art form. it'll be easier than having to dance through whatever the fuck this is
#One's Notebook#me: yeah i think i might draw again specifically because i know people are more supportive of something that requires less power on their#part to consume and im really desperate for attention because despite participating in fandom for a decade i've never found a community#and i really would like to make some friends so i'm not alone all the time#someone: oh that's such a great reason to start drawing you should draw i support everyone learning how to draw!#me: hey i wrote this fic and i know it's not necessarily your favorite ship but i'd really appreciate if you read it/left a comment#someone: lol what kind of a fucking freak are you? i'm not going to waste my time reading something that isn't within my immediate interest#write for yourself how dare you even think to ask people to support your WRITING#venting#i'll probably delete this#it's just crazy to me how much people don't value writing at all but they won't admit it#i actually hate the “write for yourself” rhetoric now because it's only ever used to tear writers down#or for writers to tear themselves down before anyone else can#or worse#for writers to feel superior to other writers who are desperate little freaks who dared to want to share their creation
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YEAHHHHH U GET IT U GET IT I actually never thought abt ororon feeling guilty everytime someone permanently dies due to the abyss but thats such a tasty thought...thinking about how emotionally loaded this aq was for citlali and ororon like it was actually never addressed if ororon stopped feeling guilt for what happened when he was a child. He will probably just continue to feel like he's responsible for Natlans safety in some shape or form for the rest of his life and that haunts me...
Ororon colluding with someone like the first Harbinger, even though the Fatui have had notorious reputations throughout Teyvat, especially in times of crisis just because he saw hope for Natlan in Capitano's plan (and also bc he didn't want the Captain to talk to Citlali) speaks to me like an atonement for the failed ritual which he considers himself guilty for. Even Citlali reasons so! And lets him do his thing, even though she's pissed off about it. Have your chance at catharsis lad, you will soon also have a chance at my shoe, ykwim?
Have you finished AQ4? Because the next thing i'd like to say involves spoilers from AQ4 (i think?? I do not remember. but asking just to be safe)
#likeeee okay i also wonder why ororon stays faraway from the motnw settlement and talks to quite few people and makes friends with aphids#is it because of his fragmented soul? or because he feels like he failed them all and hates showing his face#and because citlali is such a revered and important figure in the clan#him being her apprentice would draw him tons of attention#and I'm sure some people also like fr blame him. it's easy to be immature and desperate when a family member or a close friend passes away#like 'man this person would've been ALIVE if only this one kid had died.' like ofc it's stupid#but grief makes you desperate like that i feel. it's truly a no-win situation until the night kingdom or the leylines are repaired#and the abyssal torment stops#peace and rest and also less inner turmoil for the two!!#asks#buichirous#also hi zale how r u#genshin impact
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im getting really comfortable with tumblr and now its getting real hard to go back to posting on twt. im especially shy about posting all my recent art on there since a majority of it is fanart now, and i built my following over there on oc stuff...
#its also because of this that i have this strange algorithm phenomenon#where my fanart on there somehow gets significantly less attention than my original stuff#like i thought that was the opposite of what was supposed to happen#(CLARIFICATION: THIS IS NOT ME COMPLAINING ABOUT NUMBERS/ENGAGEMENT. I DRAW FOR FUN. ITS JUST A FUNNY OBSERVATION)#u may say “good riddance!” and i would have to agree that site sucks. but it's also where most of my friends and fav artists and mutuals are#chat
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i can’t remember if i ever actually made the Ravenous Ghost Bell analysis post, but i wish i had time to make it because i feel like it would be received well in this moment…
#i mean… tldr: ghosts are real in Ravenous#mostly in the heads of the people who ate them#both to harass them in nightmares but also to influence their physical actions#(usually as an echo of something they themselves did in life)#there are COUNTLESS examples of this - which i will give the highlights of when i actually DO make the post#but there’s specifically a moment in the final Boyd-Ives showdown where a bell is rung#and we don’t see who rang it but it causes Boyd to focus and draws him to the barn where he sees the bear trap and is Inspired#and we can presume that the bear trap was Reich’s idea (based on that deleted bear trap shooting scene that i made the gifset of)#but then WHO rang the bell??#obviously it is implied to (and must have been) Ives#but why did he do it?#to get Boyd’s attention - naturally… sounds like him#he knows that time is ticking… wants to lure Boyd to his trap#BUT the thing is that Ives ate Reich too#and i feel like (being a long-time cannibal with no moral compass) he is probably Less influenced by the people he eats than Boyd is#but i also like to think that - in that moment - Reich subconsciously influenced him to do it#because - notably - Reich was the one who rung that bell the last time he left Fort Spencer - he’s the only character we see so it#so like. tldr again: ghosts are Real in Ravenous and Reich’s ghost rung the bell in that scene#to help Boyd focus and lead him to the solution that would give him the upper hand in the conflict to defeat Ives#and someday i will write ALL of that up properly - but it’s just SO good and i love to talk about it#so here i am#ghostposting the night away…#not tagging this because i want the REAL analysis to get notes whenever i post that#but feel FREE to chat with me about this if you see it!#i love Ravenous and i miss talking about it#i have SO much to say lol
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Ever since I was a kid, I knew I wanted to be a plot device.
Getting to know the DE art style! It doesn't look very close, but now I know what to use for the next attempt. Dialogue template by Nill_Wavidson on Reddit. Transcript and WIPs of the portrait below the cut.
While I'm here, I also want to call attention to this fundraiser for one of the writers of this game! This is a good way to support an actual creator instead of the studio that forced him and his colleagues out about a year ago. 'This is a fight for another day. Today is just about survival.'
SUSPICIOUS YOUTH - Someone bumps into you from behind.
COMPOSURE [Easy: Failure] - Their soft apology is cut short by Kim's Grundstellung RAO police flashlight which has come alive in your hand against your better judgement.
SUSPICIOUS YOUTH - A young adult of ambiguous gender squints directly at you behind your *mighty* flashlight. They seem more amused than bothered. "Is everything in order, officers?"
AUTHORITY [Medium: Failure] - They must have seen you fumble that interview just now...
EMPATHY [Heroic: Success] - Their tone wasn't mocking. You are simply the most interesting thing they have encountered tonight. A rookie clubber, this one.
PERCEPTION (SIGHT) [Challenging: Success] - Look at the eyes. This person is *sober*.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Easy: Success] - What the fuck.
- "What the fuck?"
- [Logic - Medium 10] What are they doing here?
- "You are under arrest."
- "And what are *you* supposed to be?"
- "I need to ask you some questions." (Continue.)
YOU - "What the fuck?"
SUSPICIOUS YOUTH - "I need you to be more specific than that."
KIM KITSURAGI - "He has a habit of thinking out loud." The Lieutenant glances at you sharply. Blue and purple lights dance on the rim of his glasses. "No questions at this time. You are free to carry on."
ESPRIT DE CORPS [Trivial: Success] - And you, put that damn flashlight away.
- "Kim, I think this might be our guy."
- "Your crimes *will* come to the light, Deceiver!"
- "But I need to ask some questions!" Try to ask some actual questions. While you're at it, maybe turn off the light before the manager throws you out. (Continue.)
- Put the damn flashlight away. [Leave.]
YOU - Put the damn flashlight away.
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#disco elysium#cw alchohol mention#cw swearing#writing fanfiction in this style sounds really fun#i dont have fancy brushes in gimp so im in luck with the character portraits being so small; you can see the details less#id in alt text#id in post#a mixture once again#vidrart#i am become reference#would harry know how to use they/them? maybe as a part of kims influence#i have seen him do that while harry so far has opted for 'he or she'#i didnt want to draw attention to it here
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The sound of somebody choking on their own blood is rarely pleasant. Fortunately for his victim, Copperhead can at least make it quick, his brutal claws tearing into their jugular so that shock is imminent once blood starts spraying. It's not his preferred modus operandi, to be so heavy-handed in his deeds but after last night he knew that time was of the essence to start laying a false trail of his own. A trail of warm blood, gore and ichor.
#🐍 || musings#;; dashboard commentary#I'm so sorry this is short friend!#I'm a little out of it this week but I couldn't help but think that Copperhead would claim his next kill like this to draw attention away -#from Senja#It's a lot less clean but that's the point#Sorry faceless dude no choking or venom for you
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i need more object-head OCs. it's So imperative to my health
#just me hi#but also i feel a little bad adding onto an already ginormous pile of OCs hfbvhshf#love characters that don't have real faces !! i get like 5 different kinds of happy about them :D#but also i'm very picky about the Shapes hfhsh#squares and circles are very much the only things i like to draw. so obviously i must draw a stop sign#but maybe less human-looking. more arms ? or maybe legs ?#or a little of both?#oh i could just make her a robot#that would be cool :3 [<- knows this is becoming a trend]#i mean what would a stop-sign look like if it could choose?#BRIGHT. and maybe loud? she'll have a very light frame of course. because stop sign#OO maybe she'd integrate red lights for extra Attention#/anyway now i'm going to go and actually figure out what to do lol#we were Supposed to go to the grocery store but That didn't happen#nonsense nonsense nonsense. what's wrong with adults i really don't understand [<- is an adult]#anyway! i continue on :3
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People who arent even artists having an opinion on art is so grating. Like not talking about tastes or preferences here im talking about the ppl that make it seem like if they dont Personally enjoy or get something out of art it automatically is worthless
#New art discourse that hyperrealism is ''pointless'' and ''stupid''#I would like to see you try to draw a cartoony face much less a realistic one LOLLLL#It feels like a fucking cheese grater on my nerves when non artists smugly comment to what 'deserves' attention or love or praise#Meanwhile having no idea of the actual work or years of craftsmanship and technique that goes into learning how to draw#Anyways you can have tastes ofc but if you cant draw a circle i dont want to hear about how 'easy' any one type of art is#emf
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