#it will hit us one day probably but no one will be here anymore lol

[c2-eh]

what made me happy ♡

day 31: I JUST CAME BACK FROM THE OBSERVATORY WHERE WE WATCHED STARS 🥹 i learned a lotttt and it was so beautiful 🫶🏻

[rafesangelita]

can you pleaseeee do some angst with pogue!sweetheart!reader, like she overhears some of the girls at the country club talking about her and saying things like “i don’t know what rafe see’s in her, she’s still a pogue.” and rafe possibly reassuring her? thank you!

warnings: bullying (?), classist comments, slight fluff

a/n: i got carried away (like always lol) leave requests if you’d like!

“rafe, as much as i love you, i don’t think i can stand out here much longer.” you fanned yourself, using your hand to block the sun from hitting your face. rafe and topper were currently playing golf while you played cart girl for them, the summer heat quickly becoming far too hot for you to handle. rafe paused their game, jogging over to you as he took his wallet out of the pocket of his pants.

“start up a tab at the bar, go ahead and cool off, baby.” you accepted his card, silently asking ‘are you sure?’ before he pressed a kiss to the corner of your lips. “go, on.” rafe reassured you, smiling to himself as he watched you make your way inside the country club.

you couldn’t help but sigh in relief when a gust of cool air blew past you, immediately ordering a virgin piña colada as you took a seat at the rather empty bar. rafe loved to bring you over to the country club, especially since you pretty much knew everyone from all the times you came to sell your baked goods, although it wouldn’t hurt to make some actual friends instead of acquaintances.

speaking of friends, you spotted a table not too far away, all three girls already looking at you before you smiled at them. no one smiled back. clearing your throat awkwardly, you fiddled with the rings on your fingers as you waited for your drink to be made. “you see rafe out on the golf course today? he is just so handsome.” oh, god. your breath hitched, your heart dropping as you continued to listen in on their conversation.

“he is! why he’s dating some pogue baker girl? i’ll never know.”

“that’s literally her over there.”

you shut your eyes, wishing the ground could swallow you whole. “i mean.. she’s pretty and all, but at the end of the day she’s still a pogue.” the girl’s laughter echoed in your ears, your skin flush with embarrassment. “well, it’s obvious that she’s just a charity case. rafe probably feels bad for the girl.” the way they all collectively agreed with one another made tears prick at your eyes.

just when you thought the comments couldn’t get any worse, your jaw nearly dropped to the floor at the next accusation. “maybe he’s paying her to have sex with him or something. i could imagine she has to scrape for some kind of change if she lives on the cut.” you were crying now, refusing to let them see any kind of tears running down your face. “one virgin piña colada.” the bartender placed the pretty drink down in front of you, a round of laughter erupting from behind you.

“a virgin piña colada? what is she? twelve?”

deciding you couldn’t take it anymore, you left a cash tip on the counter and muttered a ‘put it on on rafe cameron’s tab, please.’ before leaving without sparing them a single glance. to say you were mortified would be an understatement. rafe was probably going to freak out once he saw that you just up and left, but you couldn’t bring yourself to stay there another second.

you didn’t even make it out of the parking lot when you heard rafe’s voice calling after you. “y/n!” he was panting when he finally got to you, “hey, wait a second baby.” you quickly wiped your eyes before turning around, your boyfriend immediately sensing something was wrong. “woah, woah, what happened?” rafe tucked your hair behind your ears, cupping your chin before using his thumbs to stroke your tear-stained cheeks.

“nothing, i just don’t feel so good-”

“it’s not that.” he cut in, eyes flickering between yours. “what happened?” rafe asked once again. you knew it was impossible to lie to him. “tell me, baby, so i can fix it.” his jaw clenched, blue orbs wide with concern. you laughed bitterly. “you can’t fix girls who gossip.” at your words, rafe blinked before looking back at the country club. “are you talking about the snobs at the table near the window?” rafe took your silence as his answer, nodding slowly before draping an arm across your shoulders.

“what did they say?” his voice was eerily calm as he walked you two over to his truck. “it’s stupid, really.” you sniffled, letting rafe place you in the passenger seat. he kept the door open, leaning on the frame as he took your hand in his. “tell me.” rafe’s voice was stern, his chest rising and falling with each breath. you sighed, avoiding his gaze as you spoke. “they said that you have to be paying me to have sex with you because apparently i’m ‘scraping’ for change since i live on the cut.”

rafe’s jaw ticked, his eyes narrowing as he took your words in. “is that it?” he cleared his throat, his vision slowly blinding him with white hot anger. “they also said that they couldn’t understand why you would want to be with a ‘pogue baker girl’.. maybe their right.” rafe’s head shot up at your last statement, his face twisting in confusion. “what are you talking about?” he took your hand in his.

“i’m not even worth half of what these girls are,” you bit your lip to keep yourself from crying again, “i don’t have rich parents, i don’t have a trust fund that ensures i don’t have to work a day in my life, who am i kidding?” you shook your head. rafe studied you for a moment. “you know what you do have?” he lifted your chin, “a heart.”

“that’s something that no amount of money can buy. you have something priceless, y/n. you carry it with you everywhere you go.” rafe pressed a kiss to your temple, mumbling a ‘i’ll be right back.’ before he shut your door. you were a mess after that, his words not only being a comfort to you, but affirming.

rafe was gone for a few minutes before he strided out of the country club, a new piña colada in his hand. “here. now we sit and wait.” you took the drink from him, taking a sip as you watched two security guards escort the group of girls out. “what did you do?” you relaxed in your seat, glancing between rafe and the scene before you.

“got them blacklisted from the club. their parents aren’t as rich as you think.” he laughed, moving his attention to you. “don’t ever question yourself like that again. please.” he turned the engine on. “where are we going?” you asked. “we are going to go get you your own card, with your own little ‘trust fund’, alright?” he nodded.

“you’ll never have to worry about anyone talking like that about you ever again.”

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

I know that you don't take request right now but I just had to submit this one before I forget it lol. I'm hoping that you'll write it when your requests are open again?

So anyway, reader is ridoc's twin/sister (he's hilarious) and she walks in on someone trying to kill bodhi so she helps bodhi fight him and later takes care of his injury and he falls for her. The following days someone keeps leaving little gifts for her (protective ridoc lol) and reader approaches bodhi to ask what he's doing and he confesses that he likes her

Not exactly like the request but close by and way longer than I thought it would be. So many of you bad missed Bodhi so here we are.

Angel eyes

It truly was luck. Luck and nothing more. You had separated from the girls after your nightly walk. A way you bunch decompressed after a long day of training. It felt better like that. Easier. With no one able to walk in on you chatting. You had stayed out longer after swearing to be careful, simply because the night was warm and you enjoyed nothing more than being able to watch the stars. They reminded you of home. All the people you had left behind.

You had rounded the staircase not longer than an hour later when you heard muffled sounds. Not a lot of cadets followed the curfew hours so at first you brushed it off to someone sneaking around the same way you were. Just the higher you climbed the more it didn’t sound like innocent chatter. No. It sounded as if someone was struggling. The scraping against the rock walls. The pained growls. You pulled the blade from your boot, one that your brother had kindly gifted you. Testing the weight of it in your palm before letting your senses guide you to the noise. It probably wasn’t all that smart to approach something like that alone but something from deep within urged you to.

And there there they were. Two males held Bodhi’s hands while the third one sent punches into his stomach. The sight made you stumble for a moment. Bodhi was a great fighter. You had the honor of being assigned him as a partner on the mats. This felt wrong. They have had to drug him. Used something to weaken his link with Cuir. Blood that soaked the gag now had been the thing that sent you into action.

Using the shadows to your advantage. You crept closer. Sending your brother’s dagger flying. Not stopping to look if it landed the target because you knew that it did. And there was no time to admire your handy work. The less time they had to realize that they weren’t alone anymore the better. Right as the dagger met the guy who’s been punching Bodhi neck, your hands were already around the second male's neck twisting it with a painful crack.

It’s the third guy who instantly backs away from Bodhi, sending his body crumpling to the ground. He’s the one to meet your black eyes. You can feel that he wants to run. That he’s panicking. That he’s petrified because he can’t move. Your power is too deep in his system. “Lucky for you, I need someone to speak about this to”, you step closer to him, “And you will voluntarily do it, won’t you?”, he barely nods, shallow breaths barely hitting his lungs. You smile up at him watching as he tries to do the same but your power seizes his muscles. Making him hit the floor too as he wriggles in soundless spasms.

You turn back to Bodhi, who had crawled to rest against the wall. Hand draped over his middle. You cross the distance in a couple of smooth strides, dropping to your knees. Bodhi instantly flinched trying to pull back. You two weren’t necessarily strangers but you weren’t friends. He was in the ranks up above the group of people you hang out with. But you saw him around, trained at times.

“Let me help”, you muttered, “Can I pull your shirt up?” You caught his gaze, right as he pulled the blood rag from his mouth. His nod was subtle. Easy to miss but you caught it nodding alongside him. Gently pull up the material.

“Shit”, you hissed. The skin was already turned black and blue. They sure didn’t hold back, “You need to… We need to get you to the healers”. A slight panic flickered in your chest. His friends were on patrol tonight too. Meaning you quite literally had no help to call out to. But Bodhi didn’t even nod as he watched you.

“Bodhi, you need to show me that you can hear me, okay?”, you muttered, cupping his cheek with your palm. “I will get you some help”, you nodded at him, looking into the eyes of someone who seemed to look past you now. Cursing beneath your breath you turned around looking at the corridors that stretched out, hoping to find any sort of movement. “Pretty”, the sound was groggy and tired. You halted. “So… pretty”, he breathed out. “What?”, you muttered, your eyes catching his one last time before his body slumped down.

Bodhi felt like his whole body was on fire. At times he was sure that he had died and it was the flames of the underworld liking at his skin. But in flashes of consciousness, there were voices. Muffed ones and unrecognizable. But most importantly there was a girl. One that constantly leaned over him, brushing at his hair. Her cold fingers felt heavenly against Bodhi’s burning skin. And those eyes. Those gorgeous eyes looked down at him. So pretty. So unbelievably pretty.

Quite frankly Bodhi was convinced that whoever his angel was he had dreamed. Hallucinated. Until he had finally been able to get to the main floors. Both Xaden and Garrick were on either side of him. Even if they said that they weren’t worried they had been mother hens to him ever since.

But only a couple of steps in Bodhi halted. A full-body shiver ran through him. It felt like a fever dream all over again. “What is it?”, Garrick gripped Bodhi’s upper arm but he didn’t know. He couldn’t seem to get his words out. “I told you that you should have still stayed in bed, Bodhi, damn”, Xaden stepped in front of his cousin. Bodhi shook his head, pulling at Xaden’s shoulder, “Her”, he breathed.

Both males turned to where Bodhi was pointing, before sharing a look. They had interrogated the one suspect who had been neatly delivered all tied up. But no one knew who had done the handy job because Bodhi’s stories had been well… rather delirious. “What about her?”, Garrick asked, look at the way Bodhi glanced at you as if you had carried the moon and sun. “That’s Ridoc’s sister, Bodhi. Violet’s friend”, Xaden muttered.

Bodhi pulled at their grip, rushing through the crowd. He knew he had seen you before but this. You looked like an angel in his head and now you were here. “You”, he breathed, making you turn your head at the new voice. “Durran, good to see you on your feet”, you shot him a smile. You didn’t want to make a big fuss. No one knew what had happened that night and you preferred it that way. “You were there. I saw you”, he muttered. Your brother raised his eyebrow shooting you a strange look. So much for a secret.

“Come”, you pulled at his hand, wanting to get away from the crowd of people. “Look, I did what I had to”, you breathed as you two rounded the corner of a more secluded area, “If your friend needs help with solving…” but you didn’t get to finish the sentence as two strong arms warped around your shoulder. Your body stiffened for a second. He was hugging you… You slowly raised your arms as well, careful to not hurt him. The bruises on his body still vivid in your head.

“Thank you”, Bodhi breathed, “I thought I had imagined you”. You chuckled, “Most would say that’s quite a nightmare”. Budhi shook his head as he slowly pulled away, “I thought quite the opposite”, he admitted, swallowing thickly, “I thought you were an angel. Your eyes…”, he muttered moving to cup your cheek. You felt your face burning crimson, fighting the urge to look down. “So pretty”, he breathed out.

“Is that what you were referring to back in the corridor when I…”, you frowned. Surely, not. He wouldn’t have noticed that. “Yeah…”, Bodhi breathed, his face growing red as he pulled back, clearing his throat, “Sorry, that’s stupid”. But you caught his wrist, “No, it’s sweet. No had ever thought that they were… well… pretty”. Your eyes locked and for a moment you two just stood in silence. “Can we meet up sometime?”, Bodhi breathed after a moment. You chuckled, “Sure, if you’re not scared that my brother will kill you with a fork”, you nodded towards the table where Ridoc had unfortunately seen you two talk. So much for a secluded spot. Bodhi huffed, “I think, I can handle a fork”.

[everything-is-as-it-was]

My TIT Berlin experience!

Here's all the things that happened during the show that stood out to me as probably things that don't always happen/ were specific to our show:

They came out wearing shorts because it was a super hot day in Berlin, Dan said they had performed in the same venue for ii as well and distinctly remembers rivulets of sweat cascading down his arms

They made the dolls 69 :(

During the Phil Doctor bit, people shouted "scheiße" for the first one, and the typer write it as "scheisse." Dan asked "do we not have the B thing?!" and the person then proceeded to write "scheisseBBBB" on the screen. We had the same answer for the NEXT two questions and they were written: "scheiBBBBe" and then simply "BBBBB"

Phil seemed to forget a line and laughed after Dan looked at him pointedly at the beginning of the game show bit

Dan had to repeat the fact that they put Vegas pages in Tabinof twice in order for them to actually put it on the screen

Someone shouted cat whiskers when Dan asked what their legacy would be

The wrestling went as expected (notable instances include but are not limited to: Phil shoving the pompoms of a hat while standing over Dan. Dan trying to hit Phil with a metal chair. Phil slamming Dan's head into said metal chair. Dan biting Phil. Dan holding Phil hostage, prompting Phil to ram his ass into his crotch. Three times.)

Dan was very very sweaty after the wrestling (lol)

After Dan's little monologue once the wrestling was over, Phil came out and there was a super awkward pause where I think someone forgot their lines (I remember there being a pause and Phi saying "......what are you talking to them about?"

The confessions bit:

Someone pegged a cop that was their ex's friend

Two ppl got engaged

Person's friend cancelled on them so they sold their ticket to buy merch (this was also stated on a card in the phlit during the pre show)

During the dance bit Phil was very obviously looking at Dan. Dan was very into it but Phil is so me in that he looked quite honestly lost lmao

After the show we stood by the stage door and Dan and Phil came out in a big black van with tinted windows. It was very difficult to see inside lol. Then about 15 minutes later one of the members of their staff (british ginger guy with a beard) came out and said "they" (dnp ig) texted him and wanted to make sure people weren't waiting at the door anymore since they were gone, so he just wanted to let us know they'd already left in case we didn't know.

[toomuchracket]

PLS PLS PLS GIVE US POLLY KICKING D WORD MATTY IN THE SHIN LORE AHHHHHHHHHHH *that’s me screaming at the top of my lungs omg*

buckle up, babies, it's lore time.

basically, on tour, when there's no show on a sunday (or even if there is, you'll do this before or after), you and the girls (polly and gabi, and if charli and mrs mac and carly are around they'll join in) congregate in someone's room to drink wine and eat snacks and gossip and watch a movie. sunday sesh. and you all agree to make a point of continuing it after tour each week or every couple of weeks, just for a catch up, alternating whose house you're all meeting at. the first sunday after tour ends, it's your flat at 6pm. cute, nice, fun.

unfortunately for you, quite literally as soon as the plane landed back in london, you and matty sped back to yours and have been holed up in the flat doing nothing but fucking (catching up on all the sex that was impossible to have on a packed tour bus), so fervently that to be completely honest neither of you have any idea what day it is anymore. so, yes, as you can imagine, sunday comes around, and you're practically none the wiser.

anyway, you and your boyfriend order a takeaway for dinner. the intercom buzzes, and nobody speaks, so you figure it's the food. matty - shirtless, literally wearing grey sweatpants and nothing else - says "babe, you get the plates, i'll go to the door for the food", and you - wearing underwear and one of his t-shirts - agree.

the door goes. matty opens it and goes into a coughing fit. because, as you've probably guessed by now, it's not the food at all, it's the girls. all of them. and they look HORRIFIED. carly nearly drops the literal box of wine bottles in her arms in shock, but gabi grabs them before they hit the ground.

nobody really seems to know what to say, until matty decides to awkwardly lean against the doorframe in an attempt to be casual and asks "so... what are you doing here?" - charli folds her arms and says "you answer that question first, healy", and he's like "um. hanging out". polly squints at him (she doesn't have her glasses on) and says "is your face wet? why?", and matty literally cannot resist smirking and saying "you're really asking me that? they could revoke your lesbian card for that, mate"; she scoffs and kicks him in the shin like "don't be such a twat" (but she does it harder than she means to and he's genuinely like "ow! pol!"), while the rest of the girls start groaning in exasperation at him being crude like "oh my god, i can't believe she's fucking you" and "give me strength" and "well, the slut uniform makes sense now" lmao.

meanwhile, you're back in the flat wondering why matty's taking so long, so you pad into the hallway like "baby? everything alright?", and when you hear what is unmistakably mrs mac screech "baby? what the fuck?" you blanch as you realise what day it is and run to the door to save your boyfriend from the wrath of the girls. like, you stand in front of him protectively (he puts his arms around your waist it's very cute) and muster up a smile like "hi girls. forgot it was sunday. soz. how are things with you all?", and mrs mac is like "don't deflect, sweetheart - explain. now", and you sigh like "you'd better come in. matty, babe, could you wait for the food while i talk to them for a second?", and he says "of course, darling", and kisses your nose to further noises of disgust (and an "awww!" from carly lol) as the girls make a beeline for the living room.

anyway, you're like "can i have two seconds to make myself presentable?", and charli's like "absolutely not. spill" - you take a deep breath, and you tell them everything. i mean, not the d word stuff, but the rest of it; you're like "first of all, just to preface, because i know you all worry about me - it's serious. very. we're in love, guys", and despite themselves everyone smiles. gabi's like "how long have you been, y'know, a thing?", and when you're tell them that it's been like 7 months "but we wanted to wait until tour was over to say, so nobody thought it was like, i don't know, just a fling while we were away together, or that he was taking advantage of me" they're all like "jesus. alright".

matty comes back into the room just as polly says "you've seemed a lot happier on this leg of tour, to be honest. so has he, actually", and he giggles when you quip "yeah, well, it's nice having someone to fall asleep with in hotel rooms. and the other stuff that happens in there". mrs mac takes a long drink of wine and winces as matty snuggles in beside you and digs into idk chow mein or whatever, and she's like "the realisation that all of your sex stories were about matty... i feel a bit ill. i should not have asked for details about the hot tub. or the time i caught you having phone sex on the bus. or the time i heard you through the wall and you told me it was the best sex you'd ever had. christ"; matty's like "best sex you've ever had? aww, babe", and you roll your eyes while he kisses your head but you smile and kiss his hand. carly giggles like "you guys are actually really cute, you know. adam thinks so too" - matty sits up straight like "carly you did not tell the boys please tell me you didn't", and charli's like "of course we did. had it in the chat before your girlfriend even appeared. also they're on their way over, squizz and john and all, so i'd put some clothes on unless you want them to rip the piss out of you even more than they're already going to". you giggle while matty groans and trudges off to get a shirt and some leggings for you, and on his way back mrs mac corners him in the hallway and says "you know i love you, and i'm actually really glad you're happy and you're dating someone who's not a dick. but i love her just as much as i love you, and i promise you that if you ever hurt her, healy, i WILL castrate you with a pair of nail scissors. got it?"; he's like "jesus alright. but i won't hurt her, mate. she's it for me, really. gonna marry her one day. m'serious", and she beams like "oh, that's lovely. still. i'm keeping nail scissors in my bag from now on. just in case" lol. but yeah! that's how everyone finds out about you and matty lmao

[surrogate-fawn]

End of Term (NYC College AU)

Part 1 of 2

(Link to Part 2 will appear here when posted)

Summary: Fawn is a small-town girl from West Virginia trying to find her future in the Big Apple. She's left everything from her past behind her . . . or so she thinks. During her final exams, Fawn is completely unaware that she's been pregnant since before the semester began -- and her labor has started. As her discomfort grows more intense throughout the day, Fawn gets a little closer to discovering the cause of it. Hopefully, it doesn't take her too long to figure it out.

((This story features Newt, who belongs to @mittysins.))

TW: Cryptic pregnancy, graphic bodily descriptions, implications of past abuse, emotionally traumatic birth experience.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I still wasn't used to the subway trains. Sitting on one was like riding an elevator sideways during an earthquake. The g-force of every start and stop made my stomach lurch, and I still almost flew outta my seat every time. I could expect to be a little queasy by the time Newt and I reached our last stop -- and that was when I didn't wake up sick.

"Bleh. I blame YOU for this!" I text messaged Newt, despite the fact he was sitting a few seats over. He was sitting in our usual spot, but that morning I needed to sit in the back corner, where I could curl up and rest against the wall.

I saw Newt check his phone from the corner of my eye, and seconds later I got his reply: "How is indigestion MY fault?"

"I didn't even want takeout until YOU asked for it." I was sure to put a goofy emoji at the end of the message to show I was being sarcastic.

"Sorry. Cravings." Newt replied. A second later he sent a gif of a cartoon cat shrugging.

I leaned over and met his eyes with a deliberately exaggerated frown. There were several strangers sitting between us, and I probably looked crazy -- but what else was new in this city? I hit 'send', and watched Newt check his phone. I delighted in his held back snicker when he saw the giant picture of a middle finger on his screen.

That morning marked the start of our first finals week as freshman at Queens College. Newt and I had stayed up as late as possible, doing some last-minute study cramming at my apartment. Now that Newt was entering his second trimester, he was trading in his morning sickness for late-night cravings of Chinese food -- specifically steamed dumplings with fried rice (but it had to be plain rice, he'd cried when I'd accidentally ordered the pork rice).

"You're a bad influence on me, lol. I need to stop joining in on your craving binges." I hugged my backpack tighter to my stomach as my guts cramped again.

"I'm not the one who ordered two boxes of sesame chicken and three extra egg rolls." Newt retorted. A second later: "Not to mention the lo mein."

"The lo mein was supposed to be for lunch today! >:("

"Ye right. ;)"

Fine, yeah, I'd overdone it last night. I could barely contain myself around food anymore. Ever since I'd arrived in New York City that past summer, I'd been overeating. I guess I was eating my emotions. The stress had been piling up all fuckin' semester!

Moving from the suburbs of West Virginia to such a huge city had my nerves fried by the time I settled into my teeny-tiny apartment that was more expensive than a house back home. Stacked on that was the anxiety of starting school. Stacked on that was the fact my roommate, Makayla, refused to do her share of chores. Stacked on that was homesickness. Stacked on that was studying enough to not lose my scholarship. Then stacked on all of that, my one and only friend in this city was dealing with an unplanned pregnancy.

If my next-door neighbor hadn't been Newt, I'd still be floundering. Without a doubt. We clicked at first sight, as if we'd known each other in a past life. He was my lifeline. Newt had lived in Manhattan all his life, but Queens College was the only local school within his budget and that's how we'd ended up in the same off-campus student housing. He was the one that taught me street-smarts -- which roads to avoid at night, where the best Mom-and-Pop restaurants were, how to hail a cab, and how to read the hieroglyphics that were the subway maps. Although we'd only been friends for barely a month when he knocked on my door with a positive pregnancy test and tears in his eyes, I'd never thought twice about being his shoulder to cry on and his hand to hold.

I didn't care if worrying over him added to the stress of my new life here, it was a worry I gladly carried.

But it seemed all that stress was finally catching up to me.

As the train came to another screaming halt, I was twisting myself into a pretzel. My stomach was cramping again, straining hard to move along the mountain of food I'd eaten twelve hours earlier. The doors slid open, and several passengers I recognized as fellow students stood up. Newt joined them, slinging his bookbag over his shoulder and plucking the air pods out of his ears. I knew I needed to get up, but my legs needed a few extra seconds of convincing.

"You good?" Newt asked as he watched me lift myself off the seat in segments.

"I'm fine," I said, walking with him onto the platform. "I just hope that Pepto kicks in soon."

"How many exams you got today?"

"Three," I groaned, my head falling back on my shoulders. "Chemistry, biology, and that stupid-ass remedial algebra class."

"Ha! I've only got two," Newt gloated, pausing to zip up his oversized red jacket.

"Uh-huh, but don't you have to wait eight hours between them?"

"Gives me plenty of time to study," he said as we continued up the station stairs. The sonofabitch was talking like he hadn't been complaining all week about his morning class and evening class having the same exam day.

"Please," I smirked, rolling my eyes, "I know you're just gonna play The Sims 4 on your laptop."

We both shivered as we walked out of the muggy underground and into the biting cold winds coming off the harbor. I pulled my hood over my head and pulled the drawstrings tighter around my neck.

"You can't prove anything," Newt grinned, his breath coming out as a soft cloud.

I gave him a comedically unamused look. "You're pregnant, so I'm not gonna hit you."

Newt chuckled and placed his hand over the small, four-month bump that was hiding under his jacket. "Thanks for the save, kiddo."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The walk to campus was only two blocks, but it felt like I was forcing myself to trudge through mud. I regretted ordering so much food. Clearly, I hadn't learned my lesson, yet.

My overeating the last few months had me in a constant state of bloat. It always felt like a giant water balloon was sitting right on my guts. I was peeing every few minutes, my kidneys working overtime to get rid of the extra fluid I was holding. Gas bubbles were always rolling through me, too. They were mostly just annoying blips of movement but recently they'd gotten painful.

The worst were the large pockets of air that got trapped under my ribs. They would stay there for hours sometimes, making it excruciating to breathe. Nothing in the world could help me when I got like that; I just had to go about my day in agony and wait until the pressure spreading my ribs apart decided to move along.

By now, I was kinda used to functioning while my intestines were trying to kill me; but, God, they were trying extra hard that day.

My stomachache flared up right outside the library, the shortcut I took to get to chemistry class. I sat down on a bench, gripping the edge of the seat and trying not to double over. My sides ached, and a deep stabbing pain plunged deep inside my abdomen. The invisible knife twisted, and I realized I was holding my breath.

"Fawn?"

I looked up at Newt, who had doubled back to check on me. His first class was on the other side of campus, and the library was where our daily routes split for most of the day.

"I'll be fine," I said, waving him away. "I'll buy a soda at lunch. That usually helps."

Newt glanced over his shoulder, down the path he was supposed to take, and then stepped a little closer. "I won't be out of here until five. Don't wait up for me, okay? When you're done with exams, just go home."

"Yeah, I will," I nodded. "That sounds good."

Newt nodded back, looking a lot more at ease. "Is it okay if I come over with some soup later? I found a new recipe online and it looks really good!"

"That's fine," I said, stretching my arms over my head to loosen up my torso. "Just use your key. I'll see 'ya then, bud."

"See you then." He gave me a two-fingered salute and continued on his way.

I checked the time on my phone and sighed. I had to get moving again, or else I'd have half my final exam score deducted for being late. My chemistry professor was a real stickler for being on-time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'd moved to New York City to finally get my degree in Botany & Plant Science. It'd been my dream for a while to become a researcher and study the pharmaceutical use of plants. Having a pair of old hippies as parents will inspire that interest in 'ya. Queens College was the best scholarship I could get out-of-state, and I had to be out-of-state. I just had to be.

I already had trouble fitting in with my classmates as a "mature" undergrad student. Since when was twenty-nine considered too "mature" for college?! All of my subjects were basic introductory courses, and that meant I was surrounded by fresh-faced teenagers less than a year out of high school. Even Newt wasn't that young. He'd taken a few years off before college, but apparently twenty-four was still young enough to fit in with the crowd.

At least not having any classroom friends meant I was left alone that morning. I sat in my assigned seat and watched the rest of the students file in from the hallway. The desk allowed me to hunch down when my stomach clenched again, the muscles in my abs pinching hard. I crossed my legs and bounced my foot, trying to distract myself from the storm brewing inside me as the professor laid out the rules of the exam period.

I was in pain for that entire hour. It was hard to keep up with the time limit. I had to pause on several multiple-choice questions -- sometimes because they were challenging, other times because the stabbing, twisting pain was flaring up. I began fantasizing about how good I'd feel after I was able to get my hands on a soda, and that daydream carried me through.

Shockingly, I was one of the first students to stand up -- and I'd finished with barely eleven minutes to spare. My professor nodded at me as I placed my exam packet on his desk, and he quietly wished me a good winter break as I shuffled out the door.

Freedom at last! There were about two hours to kill before my biology exam, so I was sure with a light snack and some rest I'd be feeling better by then.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'd worked hard to build up enough of a nest egg to live off in New York. I'd squirreled money away for three years in a secret bank account, and lied to Alexander about how much my hourly pay was. My scholarship covered only part of my housing costs, and I knew living off savings couldn't last all four years of school. However, I was not going to stress over buying a three-dollar root beer when it felt like I was being wrung like a washcloth.

The dining hall at Queens was a glorified cafeteria: fold-out tables, plastic chairs, too much noise and not enough space. I really wasn't hungry, but I knew if I skipped out on lunch I would regret it later. So, I stopped by the Nathan's stand to grab a hotdog and bag of plain potato chips to go with my large cup of carbonated medicine.

I made do with sitting at the empty end of a crowded table, where the huddle of dudes at the other end were playing Magic: the Gathering. That stuff was more Newt's scene than mine, so I put my earbuds in and pulled up the YouTube app on my phone.

The Peanuts Christmas special played on my screen as I nibbled on chips and washed the salt away with long swigs of root beer. I was hoping to summon a little Christmas spirit to help me not feel so dead inside. It was two weeks away, and it was the little candy-red cherry atop my mountain of things to worry about. Between hesitant bites of hotdog, I wondered how I could pry some gift ideas out of Newt last-minute. I'd already gotten him an Amazon gift card, but I wanted to get him something a little more per-.

I sucked a sharp breath through my nostrils, choking on half-chewed bread as my stomach cramped again. It didn't feel the same as the hundreds of other cramps I'd been having. This one was bad. It was really. Fucking. Bad! I curled up in the seat, my hands dipping inside my hoodie pocket to press against my stomach. Even through three layers of clothing, I could feel my muscles clenching.

And it just wouldn't stop. Most of them would fade after a few seconds, but this one just kept going. I doubled over, pressing on my belly and praying the pain would stop.

And then it stopped.

I sat up straight and looked around. No one nearby was paying any attention, but my freckles turned pink anyway as I quickly rose and tossed what was left of my food in the trash. I chugged the rest of the soda.

There were still two exams to go, but I was already checked out for the day. I knew there was a bottle of cupcake vodka leftover from Makayla's birthday party last month. Mixed in a milkshake, that stuff had been sweet enough to give me both a sugar high and a buzz. Maybe if the soda didn't do the trick I'd go home and try soothing my stomach with one of those. I deserved one already, and it wasn't even noon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It hurt to be upright.

My biology exam was half lab work and half a written test. The class was split into two groups: one to do the lab first, and one to do the written exam first. Guess which one I was in.

I was white-knuckling that clipboard as I quietly shuffled from one specimen sample to the next. Identify this bone. Identify that leaf. Is this a rock or a fossil? I was rocking my weight from side-to-side as subtly as I could. The cramping hadn't eased up since lunch. I was feeling this one down to the soles of my feet and keeping 'em moving was the only way I could stay standing.

At the apex of the cramp, I grit my teeth as a new pain bloomed deep inside my hips. I leaned my weight over the table, disguising the motion as trying to get a better look at a specimen. A knife-like stab hit my cervix and the ache radiated between my legs.

Ah, okay. I knew that kind of pain, even if it'd been a while.

No wonder the indigestion was so bad. I always got an upset stomach the day my period was due to start. 'Course, I could never tell when I was due. I tried tracking them, but ever since puberty they'd been on a schedule of their own. My cycles had been mild spotting for most of that year, so I figured there was a mighty buildup of Mother Nature in there that was trying to come out. No wonder I was already cramping so hard.

Oh, boy . . . and from my experience, I could tell I was in for a world of hurt once I actually started bleedin'.

I made it through the written half of the exam free of carnage. The pain was somehow easier to deal with when I knew it was all just hormones. At the water fountain down the hall, I popped a few ibuprofen out of my purse and downed them. There, now I knew I'd be feeling better once those puppies kicked in.

Another two hours, and I'd be free to go home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was relaxing on a sofa in the library when I suddenly felt a pouring wetness in the crotch of my pants. Ah, fuck. Fuck!

I left my backpack behind in a panic and speed-walked to the nearest restroom. I subtly pulled my hoodie as far over my hips as possible, hoping to hide anything that leaked through my sweatpants as I shuffled past other quietly studying students. I cussed myself out in my head for not thinking to put on a pad as soon as I started cramping.

Once I was hidden away in a stall, I inspected the damage. My underwear was damp with a watery pink discharge as well as several dark red clots. Yes, some of it had seeped through my pants, but not enough to be noticeable. I could still feel it dripping down into the toilet as I tried to clean everything up.

All it took was that first drop of blood for the cramps to reach their full strength. That was always the case when I missed a few periods. I pressed my lips together to stop a groan from escaping as I doubled over and hugged my midsection. My entire torso throbbed and clenched inward. My toes curled inside my sneakers as the pain once again trickled down to the soles of my feet. My jaw locked up as I grit my teeth against the pain, and I felt a charlie horse starting in the back of my neck.

Everything. Fucking. HURT.

The cramp left me feeling slightly weak. It didn't just disappear, it just . . . settled back into my muscles as a soft, constant ache. I held a wad of toilet paper between my legs for a few seconds, and in that short amount of time it was soaked in pastel pink. The floodgates had opened, and it wasn't going to stop. This pink discharge was no doubt going to become a full red tide by the time I got home.

I returned to the couch wearing a cheap cotton pad from the restroom vending machine. Although it wasn't smart, I swallowed two more ibuprofen dry. I sat curled up in the corner of the sofa, killing the last forty minutes before my exam watching videos on my phone.

The cramps just kept coming. I kept feeling blood gushing out of me and into the pad. My labia were constantly throbbing, and not in the good way. Every time I cramped, it felt like I was being turned inside out.

I seriously considered blowing off my algebra exam. I would fail the class, but I could just re-take it next semester, right? Maybe I could re-schedule the final if I brought in a doctor's note? Well, fuck . . . no, I couldn't do that. My health insurance wouldn't fully cover an emergency room visit and I doubted a doctor's note from three days after the final would be able to save my sorry ass.

Besides, I hated remedial algebra so much I felt nauseous at the thought of doing it again. I was just gonna have to suck it up and get through it like everyone else. Then, I wouldn't have to think about anything else until tomorrow.

God, why me?! Why today of all days to start the worst period in the history of mankind?!

I wondered if there was some cosmic deity out there who was taking joy in my suffering. If so, at least this pain was good for something in the grand scheme of things.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Despite the biting December air, I felt sweat dripping down my back as I trudged across campus to attend my last exam. It hurt to walk. It hurt to stand. Hell, it just hurt to exist. I made myself keep a steady pace, although my body was demanding I stop with every cramp. When that telltale stabbing would start in my lower back, all I wanted to do was lay on the floor and cry; but I was a grown-up, and I had grown -up stuff to do.

When I sat at my desk, my hips jolted up as if the hard plastic seat had burned me. I let out an involuntary gasp of pain, and my face burned in embarrassment as everyone turned to look at me. I started a chesty cough to disguise the sound.

I hadn't noticed it when sitting on the plush couch, but my labia were ungodly swollen and sore. This was not something that usually happened during my period. I knew my hormones were way out of whack this time around, so . . . maybe it was some weird hormonal reaction?

Whatever it was, it wasn't making the exam any easier.

My whole weight was sitting square on my pelvis in that uncomfortable classroom desk, and it was torture. I tried sitting as far back as I could to take the pressure off, but that just made my tailbone hurt, too.

My pencil slipped in my wet palm as I desperately tried to fill the bubbles in on my scantron sheet. I wriggled my hips, trying in vain to find a way to sit that didn't hurt like hell. Sweat began to drip from under my sports bra beneath my layers of clothing. It was taking everything in my power not to beg my professor to let me take the exam while lying on the floor. Fuck, I'd even do it standing on my head -- anything to get the pressure off my poor vagina.

Ten minutes in I decided to leave my final grade up to fate. I was in so much pain, I no longer cared if I failed the class. I chose my answers based on educated guesses, skipping the solving process entirely.

I was staggering to my feet within twenty minutes, and my professor gave me a scowl when he saw my worksheet hardly had any equations written on it. He leaned in as I placed my scantron on his desk.

"I hope you know you've wasted your time," he whispered, glowering at me from under his bi-focals. "You may as well have not showed up."

The only answer I could offer was a nod. I hurried into the hallway, tears blurring my vision.

I knew I'd wasted my time. I knew I'd fucked myself over. The further I walked down the hall, the more I regretted not trying harder.

I threw the test after ten fuckin' minutes, just so I could go home and be lazy. I wasn't sick, I was just on my period! What sorry excuse was that for wasting tuition money? There were probably dozens of other students in the same amount of pain I was in, but they weren't throwing away their grades over it. God, I was pathetic. I was so determined to pass this stupid remedial class at the start of the semester, even if it was with a 'C', but in ten minutes I'd given up.

Maybe Alex was right. Maybe I was just too damn stupid to be here.

By the time I stepped outside, I was crying. I pulled up my hood to hide the tears and kept my head down as I began the long walk off campus.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The noon train wasn't as packed as the seven o'clock train, but it was still too full for my liking. That was what I hated about the city; you couldn't go anywhere without brushing shoulders with a stranger.

There were available seats, but I couldn't sit down. My lower lips were throbbing with my heartbeat. I had my arm wrapped around a standing bar, clinging for dear life against the g-forces of the train. My stance had to be wider than natural, or else my thighs would pinch and cause a hot, pulsating pain through my stomach. I knew I probably looked like a drunk trying to hold themselves up against gravity, but I reminded myself that New Yorkers see things like that on the trains all the time. No one would say anything as long as I kept to myself. My hood was still up to hide the leaks in my eyes, the flow of tears I couldn't fully control.

I clung tighter to the bar as I cramped again, and a warm gush soaked into the pad between my legs. My eyes dripped as they stared off into nothing, my mind going blank from the pain. A sudden "buzz-buzz" from the phone in my pocket brought me back from the void. I blinked my vision clear and checked the text message. It was from Newt, replying to a text I'd sent earlier:

"Sorry ur feeling so shit :( You going home?"

I rested my temple against the smudged chrome pole and typed my reply:

"On the train now."

Three grey dots appeared below my message.

Buzz-buzz.

"Still want me to come over??"

I replied: "Yeah. Makayla's with her boyfriend for the week and I need distraction."

Grey dots. Buzz-buzz.

"Awww poor bb. A whole apartment all to yourself. Glad I'm not THAT unlucky. /s "

I grinned and dried half my face on my shoulder. Newt had never fit in with his roommate's group of frat boy sports fans. Just like I had never gelled with Makayla's crowd of hardcore party girls. They weren't "bad" people, they were just . . . not "our" people.

"We need new roommates," I typed.

Dots. Buzz-buzz.

"Ye."

I felt another huge gush, and my thighs pressed together in response. My inner cheek bled as my teeth chopped through it. Fuck. Forgot to not do that.

That cheap pad didn't feel like it was gonna hold up much longer. The last thing I needed was to reenact the elevator scene from The Shining in front of two dozen strangers on the subway. I pulled my hoodie further over my hips, just in case.

"Fair warning," I typed, "my apartment might be a bloodbath by the time you get there."

Dots. Buzz-buzz.

"BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!!"

"Omfg."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Ohhh my fucking god."

I angled my lower back into the stream of hot water, pressing my hands into the glass wall of the shower. I hung my head as my body gradually clamped down on itself like a vice, tighter . . . tighter . . . tighter. Now that I was safely inside the privacy of my apartment, I could finally deal with the pain how I wanted: whining like a 'lil bitch.

"Ohhh my fucking god," I repeated, the sentence crawling out of my mouth as a slurred moan.

The water splashed pink at my feet. A few dime-sized globs of red fell onto the shower mat and were washed away. My pad had been soaked through with that thin pink discharge, but hardly any real blood. My body must've been trying to break my uterus open like a piggy bank to get out what it needed, because I felt like I was dying.

"God," I dragged the word out for a solid minute in a deep, angry groan as I sank to my knees. I ran out of breath, but the pain kept going. I wrapped my arms around my stomach and pitched forward, eyelids pinched shut and teeth open in a gaping snarl. The muscles in my torso vibrated with tension. It was hard to breathe, my ribs too tight to get a full breath. The air I managed to suck in came back out as another drawn-out groan: "Fuck."

I'd been trying for hours to ease the cramping and indigestion that were teaming up to kill me. I'd taken enough ibuprofen to drop a horse. I'd taken Pepto-Bismol like shots of tequila. Heating pads had helped, but not for long. I'd put an ice pack between my legs to bring down the swelling, but the ice stung. I'd turned the temperature as high as I could tolerate and was now face-down on the shower floor, letting the water hit anywhere it could reach. My skin was scalded red, but the iota of relief I got was worth it.

Knock, knock, knock. Three solid knocks on the bathroom door.

I knelt there with my cheek in a puddle of water, too engulfed in pain to react.

"Soup delivery!" A cheery tenor voice on the other side, somewhat drowned by the water rolling over my ears.

Newt? What was he doing here? He didn't leave school until five. Shit, what time was it? How long had I been home?

I lifted myself onto my elbows, blowing out a long breath as I waited for the pain to fade. As soon as it did, I called loud enough for Newt to hear me over the roar of the shower:

"I'll be out in a sec. Just put everything in the kitchen."

"M'kay."

I didn't hear Newt walk away, but I heard his heavy crockpot being set on the counter -- the kitchen shared a wall with the bathroom. God, that apartment was tiny.

Ugh. I had to get up. I'd been in there too long. The water was turning cold. My hands and feet were pruney. I had to get up. I had to get up.

I climbed up the slick glass wall, leaving smeared handprints in the condensation. The higher I stood on my feet, the worse I felt; but if you'd asked me to describe how, I wouldn't have known what to say. I steadied myself, turned the water off, and opened the shower door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was a fresh bowl waiting for me on the counter as I stepped into the kitchen, but I didn't have an appetite.

"Don't like it?" Newt asked, serving himself a helping of soup from the crockpot.

My hair was hanging limp around my face and shoulders, dripping water like the branches of a weeping willow; but the droplets rolling down my neck weren't water. A sticky layer of sweat was coating my back and my legs beneath my plush winter pajamas. The bowl of homemade French onion soup sat untouched and steaming in front of me.

"No, it looks good," I said. "I just don't really feel like eat--ugh!" Another cramp started and this time I didn't hold back a moan of pain. "Augh!"

Newt set his bowl on the stove and took a few soft-footed steps towards me. "Does your period usually hurt like this?" he asked, rubbing his hand over my back.

I shook my head and braced my hands against the counter, unable to answer him with words. I tried to speak, but my mouth would only allow a series of small moans and gasps as the pain went on and on and on and -- fuck, this wasn't right! It had been almost a year since my last full bleed, but there was no way in hell this level of pain was normal!

I leaned over the counter, rocking my hips in a fruitless bid to shake away the twisting, stabbing, squeezing pain. As I struggled to fill my lungs with air, my mind scrambled for answers. Was this what endometriosis felt like? A cyst rupturing? A fibroid? Oh my god, what if it was a tumor?!

I felt more fluid dripping in globs onto my pad, and I let out a sob. "It feels so bad!" I whimpered to my friend, tears coming to my eyes. "I just . . . just want it to stop!" My lower back suddenly felt like it was going to break, and I let out another sob as my knees began to give out under me.

Newt saw me falling and he acted quick. His arms hooked under my shoulders, and he arched his back to try and keep me standing.

"Woah, hey!" he cried as he caught me in a low crouch, just before I'd hit the ground. "What's wrong?!"

My first thought was to tell him to put me down. He shouldn't be straining himself like that, and I worried about him even through the blinding pain. I opened my mouth to scold him, but that's when it happened. I will never forget the moment it happened.

A huge weight began to sit on my lower bowels, and I swear to god I thought my guts were going to fall out. A tsunami wave of nausea rolled up from that horrible sinking pressure and hit my stomach like a geyser. I dry heaved and sank lower to the floor as my mind was overtaken by one silent demand:

Push!

"Newt-!" was all I managed to gasp.

And then I was bearing down with all my strength.

I'd never felt anything more intense in my life. It was an unholy demon pressing down on me, and I had no choice but to submit.

A scream -- a full, honest-to-god scream -- ripped itself free of my throat. I rested just long enough to inhale, and then I was pushing again, my chin pressed to my chest. I felt a shift deep inside, pressing against my lower spine. Something was prying me open. Something was slipping its way down.

I screamed again as the realization finally dawned on me: Something was coming out!

"Fawn?!" I heard his frantic voice, but my vision was haloed in black. "Fawn, talk to me!"

I held onto Newt as my lifeline, until I ran out of the strength to push anymore. "Help me!" I panted, hugging him closer. "God, please help me!"

"What is it?!"

"I'm fucking turning inside out!" I cried, growling as I pushed the object lower into my pelvis.

At first, I was convinced my colon or something was about to pop out like a fucked up horror movie; but I felt the object heading to a different area of my body. I could feel my swollen labia pushing out into my pad.

"Augh, I think it's my uterus!" I sobbed as I strained -- unable to stop myself in both regards. "That's what's falling out!"

"What the fuck?!" Newt cried. "That can happen?!"

"Yes!"

"Oh, shit!" Newt jumped up and began circling the kitchen. "Where the hell is my phone?! I'm calling 9-1-1!"

"Please fucking do!" I yelled, dropping to all fours as Newt hurried to look for his phone in the living room.

Forbidding myself to push was like forbidding myself to breathe. It simply had to happen. Tears flowed from my eyes as I was forced to push out one of my own internal organs. Not just any organ, the one that would end my dream of having a family once it was gone.

This was hell. I was in hell.

My hips tried to jerk away from the pain as the object began to force itself though my vagina. I felt the object pressing against my pad as I pushed, and I wondered if it would be enough to hold it in. Maybe if I could somehow keep it inside me, the doctors would be able to pull it back in.

The next push told me I had no other choice but it let it out. What was happening was happening fast. Too fast. Too fast! Oh, fuck! I felt my skin yawn open and pull tight, creating a hellish burn that made me scream myself hoarse.

I hiked my pants down and craned my neck to see between my legs. The first thing I saw was a long strand of pink-red mucous clinging to my bulging lips for a few seconds, before dripping down onto the pad at my knees.

I saw a hint of something beginning to breech out of me. It was fleshy and covered in blood. It was somewhat blue colored and wrinkled, and I was terrified. My inside-out uterus was coming out of me, and I couldn't bear the sight.

I shut my eyes tight and screamed through another huge push. I had a flash of the thought: "Since when was my uterus this big? Isn't it supposed to be small?" But it was gone before I could dwell on it.

Newt's footsteps ran back into the kitchen.

"Okay, I found-."

Both his voice and his footsteps came to a screeching halt as they entered the room. I heard something drop to the ground, and it sounded like the heavy-duty casing Newt kept on his cellphone.

"Holy fucking shit . . . !" Newt's voice was muffled, as if he was pressing his hand to his mouth.

"If it's really bad, don't tell me," I begged through gritted teeth, a small sob jolting my shoulders.

Newt didn't say anything, but I heard him drop to his knees in front of me. I opened my eyes and saw him spreading a hand towel from the sink over his lap.

"It's not that bad," he said, taking my arms and adjusting them so I was holding onto his shoulders. His voice was uncanny -- it was obvious he was pretending to be calm.

Newt draped the towel over his hands and my heart dropped.

"W-what are you doing?" I asked.

"Don't worry. I've got you covered," he said. "Just push."

"Newt?" I asked, turning my face towards his. My heart was starting to pound behind my eyes. "What's happening to me?"

I didn't see him smile, but his tone remained steady. "It'll be okay, Fawn. I promise."

I gripped his arms tighter as another pain started. "Oh god, I'm dying, aren't I?" I groaned. I wasn't even scared at the thought -- at this point, death felt like the only end to this pain. I'd all but accepted it.

"You're not dying, Fawn," Newt said, brushing his cheek against mine. His fledging facial hair tickled. "You're fine, you just need to push."

Sighing, I lowered my forehead to his shoulder and followed my body's demands. The stretch continued, grew worse by the second, until something round and squishy slipped out and dangled between my thighs.

God, it was finally over.

All we had to do was call an ambulance and they could take me to surgery. However this happened, there was still a chance my uterus could be saved. My dream didn't have to be - !

Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck, I was still pushing!

I screamed into Newt's body as my burning lips spread further over something wide for a few white-hot seconds. There was a disgusting splash that gushed over my inner thighs, followed by the softest little 'plop'.

I was empty. I felt hollow and numb. My body buzzed, but it felt dead. I was left gasping in deep breaths to steady my racing heart, staring off into nothing over Newt's shoulder. My eyes burned from sweat pouring down my brow.

"Fawn," Newt said -- his voice sounded miles away, "look."

"I don't wanna look at it," I sighed, wiping my face on my sleeve.

That's when she cried for the first time.

A warbled little mewl flew up to meet my ears.

I looked down, in the space between Newt and I . . . and I screamed.

A blue cord of flesh was hanging between my legs, coated in blood. It trailed down in a soft arch to the towel sitting on Newt's lap, where I saw the answer to every question I'd had that day.

Laying there between Newt's hands, squirming and screaming and blue, was a wrinkly newborn baby.

She was a girl.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

End of Part 1 of 2

Author's Note: Thank you for reading Part 1! This is by far the longest fic I've written thus far. It's so long that I had to split it into two chapters! Part 2 will be available very soon. This story will be available on my AO3 page, just like all of my other fics! Feel free to follow me or any of my stories there under the same name.

[venriliz]

10 random facts about me

got tagged by @druidberries @alientown @papermint-airplane TY <3

u literally tagged the most boring person but that's probably what half of all people think of themselves, huh? °-° i might regurgitate some of the facts i used for my introduction post in the sims of tumblr community. i wrote a lot so i'll put a cut with the facts below here. °-°

my birthday is the 4th of july and when i was a kid (prolly like 5 or 6) i saw an american parade on the news on tv. after i asked my dad why these people are celebrating he literally told me that they're celebrating my birthday °_° i believed for several years that americans celebrated my fucking birthday bc i wasn't aware of independence day existing lmfao. my dad just loved fooling me V.V he might be dead but i'm still holding that grudge lol.

i'm kinda lucky to be alive i guess? when i was a kid i was hit by a car in what we in germany call "Spielstraße" which is kinda like a street in dense neighborhoods where kids are allowed to play freely and cars aren't allowed to go faster than 7 kph/4.3 mph. i don't now how fast the driver was but it probably was something around 30 kph/18 mph. i didn't have very bad injuries but still °-° i could've died.

i was a typical horse girl as a kid (i still like horses but i'm not riding anymore because i'm a very old 20-something with knee problems lol) and i was fucking INSUFFERABLE abt it.

i don't want to have kids or get married. i'm not one of those people who hate children like i love my nieces and my nephew BUT i have a lot of mental health issues and can't possibly take care of another life if i can barely take care of myself properly, right? marriage to me is just a weird concept. i can totally respect people getting married and if i'm invited to a wedding i'm obviously attending but i personally can't really subscribe to the idea of binding myself to someone with a piece of paper and it then being such a stupid process when it doesn't work out. also... it costs too much money lol

i have kind of an affinity for finding missing pets (i also photograph every missing poster i see so i guess that helps with recognizing them?)

i was NOT good at school like i kinda sucked and i can probably blame a mixture of mental health issues, trouble at home and also being a lazy teenager that just wasn't really built for school life lol. i barely managed to get the "Mittlere Reife" (if you're german u know what i mean. i could explain what that means but explaining the german school system would take years). english, german and biology were my only good classes. i absolutely hated math like we're lifelong enemies.

speaking of germany, i am from germany or to be more specific from the most northern region nearest to the danish border and i LOVE living here. the north and baltic sea are close to me and people here are usually quite chill. the only thing i don't like that much abt living here is kind of the regional cuisine bc a lot of it is fish and i don't like eating fish T.T

i HATE going shopping (i'm an online shopper °-° EMP my beloved) and my friends just don't take me with them on shopping trips bc they know i'll kill the mood by complaining like a child and wanting to go back home lmfao

the first sims game for me was the og Sims and i almost fried my dad's old ass pc playing it. my first vivid memory of the game was noticing that here and there random houses appeard out of seemingly nowhere. the goths got a new house that didn't fit their vibe for example lol. years later my dad told me that he used to play the game when i was sleeping and just built these houses lmfao. so i guess my dad was an og simmer oO.

i remember 9/11 (yes i'm old enough don't age shame me T.T). i was in kindergarten at that time and just came home from a friends house when the towers fell. i saw it on tv and even though i was very young i understood that a lot of people were getting hurt. definitely had an impact on me as a kid.

yeah that's it. i rambled a lot but yeah °-°

tagging @landgraabbed @olli-online @living-undead @moonwoodhollow @microscotch @crazy-lazy-elder-sims @aniraklova @tiallussims @skaterboi108 @faerun-s @cristalviper @none-of-these-days @fadingforrest @acuar-io @elderwisp @lilamausmaus @simpleratattack @azeterna @butteredfrogs @mmonetsims and everybody else who reads this! HA!

[hazellevessque]

SCARLET IS DONE 🫡

So technically I finished Cinder…six months ago (🧍) when I read it for school because everyone was recommending it to me. But then we switched units and I wasn’t allowed to read a sci-fi book anymore, so I had to stop a few chapters into Scarlet. Then school ended and I didn’t have access to the books anymore, and I couldn’t get them from the library, so I had to resort to other methods (begging my parents to by me the books). They finally folded, and here we are!

I did re-read Cinder before this one because I was afraid I forgot what happened lol

That being said I think I liked the last book more than this one, but I still really liked this book so no harm done

I feel like everyone should know that my 12-year-old sister looked over my shoulder at one point, saw the world “alpha” and started singing, “SHE’S THE ALPHA, SHE’S THE LEADER, SHE’S THE ONE TO TRUST” 💀

Émilie is an icon, she needed more page time

Imagine that one day you look up and see a giant spaceship with a naked lady painted on the side of it. I know that that probably isn’t possible with the canon but. Just imagine

Wolf is…kinda just there to me tbh I don’t dislike him I just like the other characters…more?? He’s my least favorite in the gang AS OF RIGHT NOW. I don’t know if there are any Wolf stans in the crowd but please don’t come at me

Idk Scarlet gave me lesbian vibes

I really liked that the books take place in parts of the world other than America. I’m American and most media/all the popular books marketed towards us takes place here and I usually have to go out of my way to find books that don’t take place here

When Kai gave that emergency speech Cinder’s reaction KILLED ME. Oh my god. Wow

“Cinder has a bit of a crush on him” “Don’t we al?” I LOVE IKO

Also speaking of Throne I think he’s so funny. I know he’s the love interest of the next book so I’m excited to see that!

So apparently I have still not recovered from Peony’s death because every time her name got mentioned I was hit with a brick

There were multiple times where I had to get up and do a lap while reading. This book is very intense

Overall I really liked it. Most people I know say that Cress is their favorite book and Rapunzel is my favorite fairytale so I’m hyped for that!

Also I forgot everyone that was on the taglist so I’m gonna be doing this mostly from memory (let me know if you’d like to be added/removed!): @writergracethepanda @winterrhayle @rosaadiazs @caliburn-the-sword @qylinscafvne

@rxsewqter @silverstarssart @typingwithmyhandstied @hijabi-desi-bookworm @livie1507

[goatcheesecak3]

Adam's diary

Adolescent Adam stanheight x adolescent Scott tibbs (platonic)

Fic type: diary entry, angst

Warnings: domestic abuse, underage drinking

Summary: a diary entry written by adolescent Adam Stanheight, detailing the weekend he spent with his best friend, Scott Tibbs

A/n: absolutely no one asked for this but it came to me like a prophetic vision, and I live for rustynail angst

Scott just left. He stays here sometimes when his mom's boyfriend gets mad, and I stay with him when my dad drinks. Scott says I'm lucky to have a real dad, but I disagree. At least Scott only gets hit by some chump who's banging his mom,  I think it's way worse when the beating comes from someone who's meant to love you. But that's whatever, because someday me and Scott are gonna be famous!! He's gonna be in a band, and I'm gonna do all their artwork and be their personal photographer. We'll be rich and we'll never speak to our families again.

Well, maybe I'll speak to mom. She's nice to me for the most part, she even hid enough money from dad to buy me this awesome camera for Christmas last year. I'm not allowed to use it when dad's around though, he can't know mom spent that much money on me. He doesn't have a clue where that money really went, he still thinks mom got robbed by one of the baseheads in our neighbourhood LOL!

I'd like to get rich enough to buy mom a house and take her away from dad, but even if I could afford it someday I don't think she'd go. She's scared of him, but she says she loves him and that she won't leave. It sucks because part of me wants to protect her, but the other part of me is really pissed that she doesn't protect me. I've gotten into fights with that asshole plenty of times, just to make sure he doesn't hurt her, but she's happy to sit back and watch him kick my ass.

Anyways, back to me and Scott. Scott stole some spray paint from his older brother, so this weekend we went and painted a mural on the old bridge downtown. You're not really allowed to get onto the bridge since it isn't used anymore, but me and Scott aren't scared of a little climbing LOL!!

I painted this cool design of a pole with skulls stuck to it, Scott says he wants to use it as an album cover for his band someday, which I think is pretty cool. After that we went to the corner store and brought some 40s to drink. The guy at the store is so old he thinks we're 21! Scott says one day we should try and walk out without paying, but I don't want to push our luck, plus, the guy seems nice, even if he isn't really all there.

There's a big football game on next weekend, so I'll probably stay at Scott's House, because dad will probably be drinking. We're gonna go back to the mural and add some finishing touches, and I'll bring my camera to get some cool shots of us in front of our masterpiece.

Life is better since I've found ways to avoid my dad. Anyways, that's all for now. I'm going to bed.

[allmoshnobrain]

𝐯𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐬

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

part 02 of ? | masterpost

word count: 3.3k

You didn’t want to dwell on it, on how your life was like a museum of places your family had been but weren’t anymore. Even something as simple as a spot you used to frequent as a kid was now just a distant memory. When your gaze met his, you found nothing but understanding there.

✦ warnings and tags: jason newsted x reader, age gap (23/38), no use of y/n, slow burn, grumpy/sunshine dynamics maybe?, reader has a backstory and it's kinda tragic, a bit of angst, eventual smut in future parts

✦ a/n: part 2 is finally here! i hope my portrayal of a small town is at least a bit accurate lol i know nothing about American towns, so I based it around what I usually see in fiction and also my personal life living in a small town growing up. also, jason and reader are still getting to know each other, but you can expect things to heat up a bit soon 🖤 hope you guys enjoy the read!

Jason never thought waking up in a quiet place would feel so weird. 

Maybe it was to be expected. After living in LA for so long, he'd gotten used to the constant noise — cars, loud neighbors, all that chaos that comes with city life. When he opened his eyes that Sunday morning, he spent a few minutes trying to figure out what was off. Then it hit him: it was the silence.

Jason was never one to laze around in bed after waking up, so after giving himself five more minutes under the covers, he got up to brush his teeth and stretch a bit. The house was still quite a mess, with cardboard boxes all over the place, and he grunted softly, thinking about the unpacking day that awaited him. 

At least he didn’t have anything else to worry about for the next few days, or weeks, or months. No dealing with packed schedules and tours, no getting his ideas shot down at the studio, no interviews, photoshoots, or autograph sessions. 

Just him, his new house, and his music.

After heading downstairs and pouring himself the last bit of yesterday's coffee, Jason’s mind couldn't help but drift back to you. He wondered if you’d have followed his advice, and if you’d be hungover right now. You’d been so kind to him the day before, and he thought maybe it’d be nice to return the favor and check up on you. Plus, he needed to return your baking tray and coffee pot anyway. Which reminded him — he still had a few pieces of your brownie left.

He opened the fridge and grabbed the tray, munching on one of the brownies while he rummaged through a cardboard box for some kitchen utensils. Your brownie was soft but dense, with a strong chocolate taste and a crisp shell that was just amazing. She must be really good at cooking, he thought, a bit impressed. Even though Jason could take care of himself, cooking definitely wasn’t one of his talents.

He finally found a plate and put the remaining brownies on it before washing your stuff. Once everything was nice and clean, he quickly went back upstairs to change his clothes, then headed over to your house and rang the doorbell.

It didn’t take you long to answer. Your eyes lit up with excited surprise when you saw him, and a smile spread across your lips. You were wearing a pretty little dress, your cheeks slightly flushed and breathing a bit fast, making him wonder if you had rushed downstairs to answer the door.

“Good morning,” you smiled, and he cleared his throat, suddenly aware he’d been staring at you a bit too long.

“Hey,” he said, his voice still a bit rough from yesterday’s tiredness. “Uh... I brought back your stuff.”

“Oh, thanks,” you said, quickly taking the baking tray and coffee pot from his hands.

“So, you’re feeling okay? No hangovers?” he asked with a soft smile. You blushed a bit, probably still embarrassed about last night, but shook your head with a small smile.

“No hangovers. Took a long, warm bath and drank a lot of water, just like you said,” you giggled, and he chuckled. “Sorry about last night, by the way.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he said, then hesitated. He knew he should get back to unpacking, but he couldn’t help but think he should return your kindness from the day before somehow. If Jason was any good at cooking, he might have invited you over for lunch, but he knew he couldn’t cook anything that wasn’t too plain for a guest. “So, do you know of any cool restaurants around? I’d like to treat you to a meal, you know, as thanks for the brownies and the coffee. They really saved my day.”

“Did you like it?” you asked, excitement shining in your eyes as you smiled. Jason nodded, a small smile on his lips. “Oh, I’m so happy! I don’t know if there are any restaurants open today, though. Everybody’s at church or at home, but Joe’s Diner might be open if we’re lucky.”

“Well, I don’t know much about the town yet, but we can head over there for lunch if you’d like.”

“Oh, anything beats staying home all day,” you joked, and he wondered how many Sundays you'd spent alone since losing your parents. A knot twisted uncomfortably in his stomach, but he pushed it aside. He didn’t want to pity you, but he couldn’t help feeling a need to protect you, to shield you from a grief you shouldn’t be facing at such a young age.

If taking you out to lunch could help, then he was glad he'd invited you.

“Okay, then,” he said. “I’ll get back to unpacking my stuff, but we could grab my car later and head to the diner. Pick you up at one?”

“One? You sure eat late,” you frowned, and he chuckled.

“How about half past noon?”

“That’s better,” you smiled.

“Alright. See you in a bit,” he replied, a smile spreading across his face to match your excited one.

☆

Jason showed up right on time at your door, wearing jeans and a black t-shirt, his short brown hair neatly combed. You had swapped your dress for jeans too, pairing them with a cute black tank top.

"Hey, we’re matching," you said when you saw him. He blinked, looking a bit confused before noticing you were both wearing pretty much the same thing.

"We really are. Want me to change or something?" he asked, a soft smile matching the warmth of his blue eyes. 

“No way. You look good,” you replied, making him chuckle softly. 

"Well, you look awesome too. Let's go, then, I'm starving," he said as he walked to his car, a big, black pickup truck. You raised your eyebrows, curious; the truck was brand new and clearly expensive, totally different from the battered old pickups you usually saw around town. Money clearly wasn't as tight for Jason as it was for you, which only made you more intrigued about him.

You walked over to his car and hopped into the passenger seat, feeling a bit hesitant. Being in a car still felt weird after the accident that took your parents' lives, but you didn't want to turn down Jason's kindness. You took a deep breath, trying to calm your racing heart and dry mouth.

"You alright?" Jason asked, his blue eyes studying your face with a curious look. You nodded, forcing a smile to hide your discomfort.

"Just hungry."

The ride to Joe’s Diner was calm and nice. You showed Jason the way to Main Street and then to the diner, pointing out all the shops and spots you thought he might like. Jason was easy to talk to; he seemed genuinely interested in what you were showing him and in getting to know Oak Ridge better, which made you happier than you expected. You usually warmed up to people quickly, and his calm, laid-back nature was a pleasant surprise, a nice balance to your eagerness to help and please.

"There it is," you said as you both pulled up to Joe’s Diner and Jason looked for a place to park. The place was a small, old building with red brick walls. A neon sign displayed the name of the diner, but the lights were off since it was still daytime. A small "open" sign hung from the glass door, and you sighed with relief. Joe didn’t always open up on Sundays; Oak Ridge was a quiet place, even quieter on weekends, but as your stomach rumbled softly, you were just glad it was open. "It’s not much, but I swear the food is awesome."

"I can’t wait to try it," Jason smiled, and you giggled softly before hopping out of the car.

The first thing that hit you when you opened the diner’s door was the mouthwatering smell of fresh-brewed coffee and sizzling bacon. You stepped onto the black-and-white checkered floor, smiling softly as an AC/DC song played on the old jukebox by the window. The place was empty, except for Maggie, Joe’s wife, behind the counter in her pale blue dress and white apron. She smiled when she saw you, her eyes flickering with curiosity when she noticed your company. Her graying hair shone like silver in the warm sunlight streaming through the windows.

“Go grab a table; I’m just gonna say hi to Maggie,” you told Jason, and he nodded, picking a spot to sit. You sauntered over to the counter, a warm smile spreading across your face. “Hey, Maggie. Where’s Joe?”

“Oh, hello, dear. Joe’s in the kitchen,” she said, smiling as she grabbed a mug and poured you some coffee. You wrapped your hands around the mug, savoring the warmth. “Who’s that handsome stranger over there? Family?”

“Oh, that’s Mr. Newsted. He bought the house right next to mine — the one that used to be Mr. Parson’s,” you explained. “I’m just showing him around town.”

“You’re such a good girl,” she said warmly, glancing over your shoulder at Jason before leaning in and whispering, “If he does anything weird, you tell me or Mrs. Fischer, alright?”

“Thanks, Maggie, but he seems nice,” you chuckled.

“I know he does, but you’re a young girl living all by yourself… We look out for each other around here, so if you need anything, just let me know,” she said.

"Well, I think I'm gonna need a cup of your wonderful coffee for Mr. Newsted over there," you grinned. "And you know I'm gonna want that delicious meatloaf with fries on the side again, right?"

"Sure thing, honey. Just go sit down with your friend, and I'll bring it over in a jiffy. Oh, and..." Maggie hesitated, and you raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "I know you might not want to hear this, but... Ethan's been asking around about you. Said he wants to see you if you ever showed up. I'm sorry, babe. I know you don't want to hear about him, but I figured you should know," she finished, apologetically.

"It's alright, Maggie. Thanks for letting me know. But I'm not... I really don't want to see him right now," you said, trying to muster a smile despite the annoyance creeping into your mood at Maggie's words — not at her, but at Ethan, your ex-boyfriend. You were getting tired of his persistent attempts to contact you, even though you'd made it clear you were done with him. "Sorry he bothered you with this."

"Oh, honey, it's not your fault. He really messed things up with you," Maggie replied as she refilled your mug with fresh coffee and poured another cup for Jason. "Don't stress about it, alright? Just enjoy your lunch. I'm sure things will work out."

You gave Maggie a soft smile, taking both coffee mugs and making your way to the table Jason had picked out. It was right by the window, sunlight streaming in through the red curtains and casting gentle patterns on the wooden tabletop.

"Hey. Brought coffee," you grinned, sliding into the seat opposite Jason, who was deep in concentration studying the menu. He looked up, returning your smile and reaching for the coffee mug.

"Thanks, dear," he said appreciatively, and you felt a slight blush creep onto your cheeks at the casual way he used the nickname. He offered you the menu. "You wanna pick?"

"Oh, I already know what I'm getting. How about you?" you asked.

"I think I'm gonna go for the cheeseburger with fries on the side," he replied, taking a slow sip of his coffee. "And how about dessert later? I noticed they've got apple pie. We could split a slice."

"Sounds good," you smiled.

Before long, Maggie swung by your table to take your orders. You properly introduced her to Jason, and as they chatted, it became clear that being a people person was definitely part of his personality. While Maggie seemed a bit wary at first — typical Oak Ridge resident behavior around newcomers — soon enough, she was chatting and laughing with Jason as if they were old pals.

"So," you began as we waited for your lunch to arrive, "what are your plans for the week? You gonna hunt for a job or anything?"

"Oh, no, thank God," Jason smiled, shaking his head softly, and you giggled. "I'm just gonna start composing some new music, I reckon. Wanna give solo work a shot this time."

"This time?" you asked, intrigued. "You mentioned you were in a band, right? What was that like?"

"Messy," he replied, with a slight frown. You blinked, trying to decipher the expression on his face. He looked troubled, but you knew it wasn't directed at you, which made you wonder what could have driven him to leave his old band. "That's why I needed to be somewhere quieter, I suppose."

"Was it really that rough?" you asked in a hushed tone. He met your gaze, taking in your concerned expression and offering you a reassuring smile.

"It wasn't all bad. For one, it lined my pockets enough to do whatever I pleased after I left," he chuckled. "But... We had our share of issues. Eventually, it all became too much, so I had to step back."

"Oh, I'm sorry," you whispered, and he chuckled with a smile.

"Don't sweat it. I'm happier now that I'm out of that mess. Plus, I got to meet the coolest neighbor ever," he joked, and you laughed softly. "I just... I wanna start fresh, you know? Glad I could give myself the chance."

Your conversation was briefly interrupted as Maggie brought your food — cheeseburger and fries for Jason and your beloved meatloaf with some Coke for drinks. You chatted quietly as you dug into our meal, saving room for Maggie's apple pie, which you devoured soon after. Jason insisted on paying for the whole meal, and after a bit of back-and-forth and him reminding you it was his idea to treat you in the first place, you agreed.

As you headed back to his car, an idea popped into your head — there was somewhere you hadn’t shown Jason yet.

“Hey, can we take a little detour before heading home?” you asked as you settled back in the passenger seat. “There’s somewhere I want to show you.”

“Sure, let’s go,” Jason replied, and you smiled. You were starting to like how easygoing and open to your suggestions he was.

As you drove through Main Street, you pointed to a small street right next to the police station.

“Take this street over here,” you said, and Jason turned the car wheels. The few commercial buildings quickly gave way to houses, and then, as always happens if you follow a path in Oak Ridge long enough, the street turned into a dirt road surrounded by trees. Houses became more spread out, and soon you reached a fork in the road. One way led down to some farms and properties, the other up a small hill through a denser part of the woods. “We’re almost there, just go up this path,” you directed.

“Alright. You’re not gonna tell me where we’re going?” Jason asked with a small smile, his blue eyes glued to the road ahead. You giggled.

“You’ll see.”

You drove up the hill for a while on a narrow, twisty path that might’ve been tricky for an inexperienced driver, but Jason handled it just fine. Finally, after a few minutes of climbing, you reached the top, a little spot with a couple of pine trees and a wooden bench in the middle. Jason parked the car, and you hopped out.

“Come on,” you said with a smile, running up to the bench under the trees. Jason followed, grumbling about having to climb the rest of the way on foot. You laughed as a soft breeze messed up your hair. “Come on, old man, you can do it.”

“I’m trying. Sorry I don’t have your energy, kid,” he muttered with a mock-annoyed look. “I’m not used to the outdoors anymore.”

“I’m not a kid,” you huffed, and he laughed, a bit out of breath.

“And I’m not an old man,” he shot back.

“Well, you sure are looking like one. Don’t people in LA ever go for a walk?” you teased, and he laughed huskily. You grabbed his wrist. “Come see this.”

You both walked over to the wooden bench, and you turned to Jason, putting your hands on his shoulders before using him to help you climb up on the bench, standing on it.

“Careful,” Jason said, tensing up as he held your waist firmly, his rough palm brushing against the skin between your tank top and jeans. You chuckled, feeling warmth spread through you as your heart raced, his touch sparking a fire in your belly that you didn’t know could exist.

“I’m good,” you assured him, offering your hand to help him climb up onto the bench beside you. “Let’s go.”

“Do I really have to?” he joked, but he took your hand and pulled himself up with your help to stand on the bench next to you.

“Check it out,” you said, pointing downhill where the whole town sprawled out before you. From up here, you could pretty much see everything in the more urban part of Oak Ridge, which wasn’t all that big. Jason made a low impressed noise. “See over there? That’s Joe’s Diner,” you gestured to the red brick building that seemed tiny from this height. “And that’s the police station… And down there, in that tree-lined path, we can’t spot the houses from here, but that’s our street.”

“That’s awesome,” he murmured, his voice low as he took in all the sights you’d pointed out. “How’d you find this spot?”

“Just some hometown know-how,” you quipped, and he chuckled, his blue eyes meeting yours warmly. “Actually… My parents used to bring me here all the time. But I haven’t been in ages. It’s kinda tough to get here without wheels.”

“If you ever wanna come back here, just give me a holler. I’ll bring you,” he said gently, his voice tinged with a kindness that made you blush a bit.

“Thanks, Mr. Newsted.”

“You can call me Jason, remember?”

“Thanks, Jason,” you chuckled. He grinned before returning his gaze to the view ahead of you.

“So, got any other hidden gems to show me?” he gestured toward a bunch of trees near the white building you knew was the town church. “Is that a pool?” he asked, and you stretched up on your tiptoes for a closer look, spotting a square of water nestled among the trees. 

“Yeah, that’s the Recreation Club. It’s pretty cool. My folks used to take me there all the time, but…” your voice trailed off as you spoke. You didn’t want to dwell on it, on how your life was like a museum of places your family had been but weren’t anymore. Even something as simple as a spot you used to frequent as a kid was now just a distant memory. “Couldn’t keep up with the membership fees after they passed,” you explained, glancing up at Jason with eyes that tried to hide your sadness. When your gaze met his, you found nothing but understanding there.

“C'mere,” he said, pulling you into a hug, his arms wrapping around you. 

The sudden embrace caught you off guard, but soon you relaxed into it like it was second nature. He was warm and unexpectedly gentle, and you realized maybe that’s what you’d been craving all this time: warmth, and gentleness. He pulled back, gently tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. 

“Let’s head back home.”

[ghostofskywalker]

If You Still Remember

Commander Cody/Plus Size!Reader

Words: 2,045

Summary: Shore leave gets a lot more complicated than you originally expected when the marshal commander of the GAR drunkenly admits his feelings for you in the middle of the night.

Note: this cody fic won the poll i had posted a little bit ago, and i am a woman of my word, so here it is! this has been sitting in my drive since like late december lol, so i'm happy to finally share it :)

Clone Troopers Masterlist

You were shaken out of a restful sleep by rapid and raucous knocking on your door, and for a moment you wondered whether or not it was worth it to get out of bed and see who was there, or just hope they would go away eventually. But your desire to not have to listen to the knocking anymore won out, and you dragged yourself out from under the covers with a scowl on your face. But when you finally pulled the door open and took a look at who had needed to see you in the middle of the night, you were instantly glad you got up.

Of all the people you thought might be at the door, the Marshal Commander of the GAR was not on that list. “Cody?” you asked tentatively, still trying to get a handle on the situation. “Is everything okay?”

“Do you know the code for my room?” he asked, and you could tell that he was desperately trying to keep his eyes open. “I forg’t it.”

The Republic kept specific bases for when the clones went on leave, areas that could be used for a week and then occupied by a different battalion, which would explain why Cody hadn’t committed his code to memory. The two of you had been assigned neighboring private rooms due to the prestige he held and the fact that you were the only civilian attachment working in the 212th at the moment and there weren’t any other battalions on Coruscant right now (other than the Guard). Come to think of it, you barely remembered the code you had been assigned, so you really didn’t blame him for not remembering in his current state.

You knew that many of the boys had planned to hit 79’s this evening (they had even invited you but you had other plans with some friends), but you never expected Cody to reach this level of inebriation. It was clear that he was drunk, with the way his eyelids drooped slightly and the fact that his expression was not the alert one you were used to seeing him wear each day. To answer his question, you shook your head. “I’m sorry, I don’t know your room’s code.”

“‘S okay,” was his response. “I’ll go see if the boys have ‘n extra bunk in their barracks.”

He turned away from the door, but you called his name before he could get farther than three steps away. “You can stay in my room tonight if you want.”

It must have been some combination of his fatigue and the liquor still in his system that caused him to accept, because you couldn’t think of any other reason he would do so. You knew the commander well due to your work as a civilian attachment, but you wouldn’t really say your friendship was at the point where you would regularly stay in each others’ rooms.

However, it seemed all that was about to change, and he stumbled into your room almost immediately after you offered. The first thing you noticed was that he was wearing nothing but his blacks, and you really hoped that he hadn’t gone out to 79’s with his armor on (because if he lost his plastoid you didn’t know what to do). The second thing you noticed was that he immediately collapsed face first onto the bed.

“Cody?” you asked gently, tapping his shoulder so you didn’t scare him. “Where is your armor?”

“Didn’t have it when I wen’ out,” he slurred, pulling himself into a sitting position and dangling his feet off the edge of the bed. The normally infallible and always focused commander had a dopey smile on his face, and his eyes didn’t look as tired as they usually did. This night was probably good for him, you decided, even if it was a bit strange for you. He deserves to let loose and forget about the war for a little while.

As you moved to walk away from where you were standing next to him, you felt two arms wrap around your waist. “Where are you going?” Cody asked.

He was strong, all the clones were, but you never realized just how strong he was until he had his arms around you and was trying to pull you back towards him, because you stumbled a little and almost fell backwards in his direction. “I’m just going to get you some water,” you said, placing your hands over his and trying to loosen his grip on you. “And a painkiller for when you wake up tomorrow morning.”

“I won’t need that stuff,” he said, still dead set on trying to keep you close to him. “I just want to cuddle with you.”

Well, that was a set of words you never expected to hear from him. “Cody,” you said quietly, trying to let him down easy so that he doesn’t do something he will regret tomorrow morning. “You’re going to want water eventually, and if you really drank as much as I think you did, a painkiller is a good idea.”

The hands on your waist did eventually let go, and the commander’s expression was one you would describe a toddler wearing when he was told that he wasn’t allowed to eat an entire box of cookies. You wondered if the topic of cuddling would be dropped, but you knew that wasn’t the case after you placed a canteen of water and two headache pills on the nightstand next to the bed and Cody looked at you with hopeful eyes.

“You should really go to sleep,” you said.

“Where are you going to sleep?” You glanced over at the couch, and he immediately caught on, protesting that you should be the one to sleep in the bed. He even stood up and walked over to you as he earnestly proclaimed that he’d be fine if he slept on the couch.

“No, you need a better night’s sleep than I do,” you said, reaching down to take his hand and as you did, he stopped and looked into your eyes.

It was like the physical contact had awakened some kind of sleeper agent in him, because he immediately changed the topic of discussion. “Can I kiss you?”

Okay, maybe you would have given in to cuddling, but there was no way you thought he actually wanted to kiss you. “Cody, you’re drunk,” you reminded him. “You should go to sleep now.”

“But I want to kiss you first,” he said matter-of-factly. “This is the only time I’ve ever been able to tell you how I feel, and I don’t want to kark it up.”

“This is just because you’re drunk,” you responded, trying not to let yourself hope that he actually felt this way. Your past romantic experiences had never turned out well, and you didn’t want to let yourself ruin whatever friendship you had with him over something small like this. “Whatever Waxer and Boil gave you at 79’s must have really done a number on you, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this before.”

“Why won’t you let me kiss you?”

You took a breath and waited a moment before responding. “I don’t want you to do something you’ll regret tomorrow when you wake up,” you said quietly. “If you still remember this conversation, and you still feel the same way, then we can talk again.”

You almost regretted giving him that option, but it seemed to be the only thing that would get him to go to sleep. The commander’s iron grip on your hand meant that you would be sharing the bed with him rather than your original plan of sleeping on the couch, but you didn’t really mind. In fact, you liked the feeling of having another body in the same bed as you, so you let yourself imagine a reality in which Cody did actually mean the things he said, and that it wasn’t just a product of liquid overindulgence.

And as you fell asleep that night, you tried not to think too hard about the fact that eventually you (and Cody) were going to have to face the consequences of your actions.

***

The barracks that the republic provided were never the height of luxury, and they apparently couldn’t even spring for decently opaque curtains in the officer’s quarters. The light from the city-planet’s morning rush came flooding into the room, and you opened your eyes, having completely forgotten about the events of the previous night. Or, at least you did until you looked over and saw Cody’s hair poking out from under the covers.

You did your best to get out of bed without waking the commander, but it didn’t really work. He sleepily raised his head from the pillow, and the two of you stared at each other for a few moments.

Eventually, it was you who broke the silence. “Welcome back to the land of the living, Commander.”

Cody just nodded, and he definitely looked a little worse for wear. “What happened last night?” he said sleepily, putting his hands over his eyes to try and block out the brightness of the room.

“You got hammered at 79’s,” you said, a small laugh escaping your mouth at his bewildered expression. “And then you forgot the code to your room, so you knocked on my door in the middle of the night.”

“Oh,” he said, nodding. “I’m sorry for all the trouble I’ve caused.”

“Please, Cody, it was no big deal,” you said. “I’m just glad you’re okay, you seemed pretty out of it.”

“And I didn’t say or do anything else last night?” he asked.

You had a choice here: either admit that he’d tried to kiss you, or just lie to his face. Your insecurities ended up winning out, because you didn’t want to make it seem like you were trying to get him to kiss you, or that you were lying about what happened if he truly didn’t remember. “Nope, don’t worry,” you said, forcing a smile onto your face. “You pretty much just passed out as soon as I let you in the door.”

It wasn’t until you had gotten out of bed and turned towards the door that he spoke again. “Why are you lying to me?” His voice sounded quiet and hurt, so you turned around to see him get up and walk over to you. “I may have been drunk last night, but I remember everything I said to you. And I also remember a certain offer you made.”

As you responded, your voice came out just as quiet. “I didn’t want you to think I was trying to pressure you if you regretted what you said to me.”

“I wouldn’t have regretted it last night, and I certainly wouldn’t regret it now,” he said. “I meant what I said, but if you don’t see me in that way I’m not going to force myself on you.”

“No!” you said quickly, and then took a breath before continuing to speak. “I like you a lot, but I’m just not the best at relationships. When you asked me last night if you could kiss me, I really wanted to say yes, but I also couldn’t shake the image of you waking up and feeling horrified by what you had done.”

Cody reached down and took your hand in his. “I would never do such a thing, no matter how much I drank. But I really like you, and I’d really like to kiss you now.”

You didn’t even bother to answer, instead leaning in to press your lips to his. He reciprocated almost immediately, and the feeling of his lips moving against yours made your knees weak for a fleeting moment. You felt his hand pull out of yours and come to rest on your hip, effectively keeping you close to him as he deepened the kiss.

When you finally had to break for air, he didn’t loosen his grip on you. “Now, I’m still tired, can we please go back to bed for a little while? Neither of us have anything to do today.”

And with the look in his eyes, who were you to deny such a tempting request?

- the end -

i no longer have a taglist! if you're interested in being notified when i post, you can follow my library blog @ghostofskywalker-library and turn on notifications!

[satanstruemistress]

I don't go here (aew) but I am so intrigued as to what's going on bc I've been seeing posts about it all day where I almost never have before 👀 👀 👀

That’s probably because of me lol. I’d apologize but honestly it’s so good.

Honestly, AEW is my favorite wrestling promotion right now, but people don’t seem to want to give it a chance, because they’re ride-or-die for WWE. And WWE is good! But it’s geared more toward kids, where AEW is geared more toward adults. Idk how much you know about wrestling in general, so I’ll explain the whole thing as thoroughly as possible :)

My favorite storylines right now are: Deranged Blond Cowboy and Afro-goth Vampire wannabe (Hangman Adam Page and Swerve Strickland, respectively) hate each other but are inexplicably unable to free themselves from each other. There’s been stabbings, breaking and entering, blood drinking, body stapling, hanging the cowboy with a chain, and the cowboy stabbing a needle into Swerve’s face.

They’re the fandom’s OTP somehow. (They deserve it). We want them to be tag team champions. They’re wrestling soulmates. (They work together super well, no matter if they’re feuding or a team.) There’s a whole playlist I’ve watched a few times on YouTube, that goes through the whole storyline so far. It’s fantastic.

And: “Blackpool Combat Club gets Poly Divorced, violently.”

There’s a lot of history there, but what it boils down to now is: Bryan Danielson, one of the best wrestlers in the world, ever, needs to retire. He’s got a neck issue that needs to be addressed sooner rather than later, but the owner of AEW wanted him to have one last hurrah, so he basically dragged him kicking and screaming into the storyline where he won the World Title from Swerve (my beloved Afro goth vampire). Danielson said he’s not going to just give up the title, he’s gonna fight until he physically couldn’t anymore, and THEN he’d retire from full-time action.

Danielson has a group he’s in, Blackpool Combat Club (BCC for short) with dudes he’s been friends with for a long time, that was started by their mentor, William Regal who is no longer with AEW. (His irl son is in WWE’s “developmental territory - the proving grounds before they actually go in front of approximately half a zillion people).

Danielson’s BCC buddy Jon Moxley came back from some time off and was like “Hey this isn’t your company anymore” and confused the shit out of fans and coworkers alike.

But anyway, the night Danielson successfully defended the AEW World Title for the first time, his BCC team mates Moxley, Claudio (they’re hard to tell apart at first, both tall bald white dudes) and their protégée Wheeler Yuta, along with “new recruits” The Bastard Pac, and scary lady Marina Shafir. They were celebrating. Smiles, kisses, and hugs all around. Pac even hugged Wheeler.

Which is when we knew something was going down. Pac is, in fact, a Bastard. He’s not a lovey/huggy man. He was holding Wheeler back while Claudio uppercutted Danielson which shook fans EVERYONE. And then Mox grabbed a plastic bag and tried to suffocate Danielson while Wheeler sobbed and cried out for Bryan whilst being held back by Pac and ineffectively comforted by Claudio.

Danielson was escorted out on a stretcher that night.

Blah blah blah, a week or so passes, and we see Wheeler…not doing well. At all. He’s dead-eyed, almost catatonic, but he’s using Danielson’s finisher to win matches.

BCC tries to get through to him, but he’s not interested. He’s sided with Bryan.

OR SO WE THOUGHT.

Last night, Mox won the title but wasn’t actually all that interested in the Big Prize. He shoved it into a bag. He and the rest of the BCC started beating the shit out of Danielson. But here comes Wheeler Yuta and another man named Darby Allin, to the rescue.

Darby and Wheeler chase them off, but Darby’s back is turned, and when he turns to check on Bryan, who was sitting in the corner behind Yuta, Yuta hit Darby with one of Bryan’s finishing moves called the Busaiku Knee.

I’m a little fuzzy on the direct actions, because I was busy staring open-mouthed at the screen, processing, but Darby ended up taped to the ring ropes, and Wheeler suffocated Danielson this time.

As he’s suffocating his mentor, his childhood hero, Wheeler is BEGGING him to stop fighting it. Just let go. Then a bunch of faces (good guys) run from the back, and finally help get them off him. Namely three dudes named Orange Cassidy, Hook, and Daniel Garcia.

Danielson was taken out on a stretcher. AGAIN.

Here’s fan theory: Mox, Claudio, Wheeler, and the rest of them still love Bryan Danielson. They’re doing this to protect him from himself so he doesn’t end up seriously hurting himself or worse. That’s how they got Wheeler to do what he did. None of them are happy about it, they’re not enjoying it. They just think it’s their only option.

But this is a story, it’s not real, so obviously we’re thinking that this is all Bryan’s doing. He’s KNOWN to be a devil who thrives on his fan’s horror. (Which is a positive thing in this business). We think that this, not the title, was his last big hurrah. THIS is how he wants to go out, setting his irl besties up for a MASSIVE heel (bad guy) run, while simultaneously setting up the guys that came running out to help him, to be the next big faces of the company.

…Anyway, yeah. AEW is fantastic. I highly recommend it. There’s also a lot of silly and fun storylines that won’t leave you traumatized lol.

ALSO TEN YEARS A MUTUAL HOLY SHIT.

[jiminiecrickets]

Seven days a week couple drabble where oc is out with jk and they see jk's ex boyfriend and oc make out with jk to make his ex jealous ?

sfw. kinda abrupt ending sorry lol

jungkook crashes into your chest with a squeak and a massive sigh of relief. he grabs you by the shoulders – his can of coca cola seems to have vanished.

"ah, baby, i've been looking for you everywhere! come, come."

you let yourself be dragged after him, away from the club's bar. you'd been using it as a central landmark to find jungkook. "o-okay."

he pauses just by the neon-lit dance floor, turning to you. he places his hands on your chest and nibbles on his lower lip. the heavy electric music pounds in your bones. "i should probably tell you what i'm thinking."

"that'd be nice, yes. you disappeared quite suddenly."

"okay, well, you know my ex? the american boy?"

"uh, yeah...? where are you going with this?"

"he's here. tonight."

oh.

you blink down at him, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. he gnaws on his lower lip, fidgeting with the edge of his jacket and watching you anxiously for a response.

eventually, you find your voice. "well, okay, that puts a damper on things. would you like to leave?"

"no, no. i don't wanna ruin our night just 'cause of one guy. instead, i was thinking we could maybe say hi... or hi."

you get what he's hinting at immediately. your eyes narrow and you place your hands on your hips. "i'm seriously just a piece of meat to you? i'm only your trophy boyfriend and eye-candy when you want to make someone jealous, but to all your friends, you're constantly greeting them with the most embarrassing stories about me?"

jungkook's eyes widen to the size of saucers and he waves his hands frantically. "what? no! they're not the most embarrassing ones. a-anyway, my love language is actually bullying people, so you should be grateful that i'm mean to you. it just means i love you a lot."

"oh, thank you so dearly for not using the worst ones. much appreciated." you can't keep up the drama any longer and the act drops with a soft huff of laughter. "so, you're feeling petty, huh?"

"yeah." he hides his grin by nibbling on his thumbnail, placed between his front teeth. gently, you pull his hand down, and he hums, swinging your hands together and pressing closer. "please? for me? i'll do something real nice for you if you do..."

"this is bribery," you murmur against his lips. "mmh..."

"is it?" he ghosts his lips over your jawline, sucking gently over your pulse. it makes your breath hitch. slowly, he guides you in his ex's direction, pulling on your hands and sticking close to the walls. you don't actually know what the guy looks like, but you trust jungkook to know where he's going.

"red shirt, black jeans," he whispers into your ear. "to your left."

you spot the guy he's referencing facing your direction, chatting with a couple of friends with a drink in his hand. you tuck your face into jungkook's neck as he positions the both of you just perfectly in his line of sight, tugging you in by your collar until his back hits the wall.

he moans softly as your lips trail over his neck and collar. "oh, he's already looking. lift me up."

you comply, hooking your hands beneath his perfect thighs and hoisting him against the wall with ease. he makes it easy, knowing where to shift his weight towards yours and how to cling to you without looking like he's trying too hard.

"hey, this is nice," you chuckle, hefting him even higher so that your face is level with his chest, rising and falling rapidly. "why don't we do this more often?"

he scoffs and blushes, glad that it's dark. "my eyes are up here."

he tightens his legs around you and lowers his lips to yours, humming as he wraps his arms around your shoulders. it's hot, electric, your breaths hot and sweet with fruity alcohol.

"he's looking. oh, god, he's looking," he whispers, hungrily moulding your lips together once again. you don't know how much of it is an act anymore. "this is so much more fun than i thought it would be. kiss me harder, hyung."

"as you wish," you reply with a grin, and kiss him until he's so full of love that bitterness has no more space to breathe.

[luwritesomething]

mickey altieri x reader where she starts getting suspicious of him but ignores it cause he’s her boyfriend (and she’s in denial) until one day she accidentally catches him still in costume without him knowing. Reader then starts avoiding him and is super upset and doesn’t know what to do until one day he shows up and asks her why she’s been avoiding him. She tells Mickey that she saw him in the Ghostface costume and knows that he is the killer and he tries to explain himself and tries to calm her down. She’s very upset about it and is scared that he might hurt her but he reassures her that he won’t. She loves him so she eventually decides to stay with him anyway and promises that she won’t leave him or tell anyone abt him being the killer… I hope this made sense lol I feel like I put a lot I’m just in desperate need of mickey fics 😭

Mickey Altieri x Reader: Please.

Warnings: swearing, manipulation (mickey manipulates the reader to stay by his side), lack of morals from reader's side, mentions of blood and murder.

Word count: 2160

Author's note: i'm living for these requests! with this little piece, i was able to answer two of them, that's why i added the other one. i love mickey, but i actually struggled with writing this one because my moral alarm was going off everytime i tried to think of a reason for reader to stay with mickey after finding out... that's why i went down the manipulation path! hope you like it, and remember, no matter how 'unoriginal' or 'boring' you think your reqs may be, i love getting them and will most probably write them <3

also in here mickey is a little dumb dumb because he goes into his dorm with the ghostface costume on, something that i don't think mickey would actually do... but anyways! no more spoilers :)

graphic by me! also, i'm leaving my mickey altieri playlist, if anyone wants to take a look at it, feel free!

comments and reblogs are always appreciated! requests are open, especially for scream! hit that anon button and tell me your ideas. in the scream fandom, i write for billy loomis, stu macher, mickey altieri, chad martin-meeks, mindy martin-meeks, tara carpenter, anika kayoko, laura crane

The pounding of your heart was the only thing you could feel as you shut your eyes close and try not to make a damn sound. You knew you hadn’t been meant to witness what you had since the moment your mind had been able to connect the dots together, just some minutes ago, and now you were just trying not to discover yourself.

The sounds of someone moving around Mickey’s room had woken you up from your heavy sleep, the coldness from your boyfriend not being by your side anymore easing you up to reality. You had barely opened your eyes, a quick flutter that registered the small lamp in Mickey’s desk shedding its light in the figure next to it. Your heart had stopped at the sight of the figure who, even though had its back turned to you, you could recognize everywhere after last week’s news.

Someone was on a murder spree on campus, dressed with the same costume the figure there was wearing, so it was natural for your first thought to be that you were the next victim. You even saw the knife in the figure’s hand, blade stained with blood that meant you weren’t about to be the only dead of the night. But, before you could even think about moving to try and save your life, the figure had taken the ghostly mask off and you had recognized Mickey, your dear and loved and lovely boyfriend Mickey, in less than a second. That was when you had stopped breathing, your eyes closing as you tried to wash the sight of the bloody knife off your mind, and your heart trying to escape from your chest.

You waited in silence, trying to control the thoughts that raced through your mind, and not making a single move that could expose you to Mickey. Luckily enough, he got out of the room with a towel on his shoulder, to go and use the communitary shower, and that allowed you to breathe deep before trying to control the panic trying to take over your body.

Was Mickey really the killer? When you opened your eyes again, the costume was nowhere to be seen but it was not like you had the imagination to make that up. And if you were true to yourself, Mickey had been shady as fuck. Oh, God, were you really suspecting your own boyfriend of being a killer? The evidence had been right there, in front of your eyes — that wasn’t suspecting anymore.

When some steps could be heard outside the door, you forced yourself to close your eyes, trying to focus on anything other than the sick feeling messing with your stomach. You kept yourself grounded, hidden between the pillow and the sheets, and your body stilled terribly when Micky got himself on bed, like nothing had happened. He smelled sweet, the scent of his shampoo surrounding you.

Quietly, you held your breath as his arms surrounded you, lovingly, and you waited for something — anything — to happen.

You waited for the whole night, but nothing other than Mickey swiftly falling asleep did.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The days passed by, and your mind couldn’t help but bring back the image of Mickey on the costume with the bloody knife whenever you were around him. And that was terrible, because you spent an incredible amount of time with Mickey, which quickly brought you to avoid him.

At first it was rather small and subtle — made up group projects, very real homework, studying. Then, the need to be on your own, which triggered his suspicions of something else going on. You were inevitably jumpy around him during those times you ran out of excuses, laughing less than usual and sometimes even zoning out on him. The thought of you losing your feelings for him was nearly driving him insane.

Mickey couldn’t stop thinking about you during his film history course, and not in a good way. From college, his murder spree and now you acting up, he had received a ridiculous amount of stress — enough to make him space out in every single class of his. In the middle of the lesson he had already made up his mind about having to talk things out with you and figure out what he had said or done to upset you that much.

When the class ended he was the first one to get out, without even saying goodbye to Randy, and heading towards the classroom he knew you’d be in. You both had learned each other’s schedules after spending so much time together, and that hour was perfect, since his class ended a little bit before yours and both were the last classes of the day.

Oblivious to his presence outside the classroom, you calmly gathered your things once the class came to an end, agreeing a date and hour with the partner you had been assigned to for your next project. Attending your classes and focusing on your schoolwork kept your mind off things — things being Mickey — but as soon as you crossed the classroom doors and saw him there, it all came back.

Mickey smiled at you, even if you didn’t smile back, and walked towards you with that easy going manner of doing things he had. You waited for him with your fingers drumming against your side, which he caught on — weren’t you happy to see him? Even if he had verbalized that question, he wouldn’t have gotten an answer.

“Hey.”

“I didn’t know you were coming.” You said, forcing a smile that, surprisingly, hadn’t felt so forced. Maybe you had been slipping lately, but your objective was not to be killed, and you didn’t know how far he was planning on going. “I have to go to the library, do you want to hang after—?”

“I just wanna talk to you for a minute.” Mickey interrupted you, grabbing the hand you had use to lightly gesture around.

Your heart started pounding so loudly you were afraid he able to hear it. He wasn't, but you didn’t notice his fingers pressing on the pulse point on your grip, checking that, indeed, you were pretty nervous. “It can’t wait?”

“It’ll be just a min.” Mickey promised, insisting oh so charmingly. He squeezed your hand once. “Please?”

How were you supposed to say no to him when he asked so nicely, with his head cocked and his eyes shining? You nodded softly and sighed under your breath, letting him take you wherever he wanted as you tried not to think too much about it.

He led you outside and to the side of the building, a not so hidden place that equally allowed you to be seen by the students walking through campus but not be heard unless you raised your voices. You found yourself terribly afraid of noticing all these things, but Mickey letting your hand go and placing himself across from you got your attention too fast.

“What’s gotten into you?” He finally asked, head cocked.

It took you a second to catch it. “What?”

“You think I haven’t noticed?” Mickey pursed his lips slightly, then shook his head. He truly looked worried. “You can’t avoid me forever.”

“I’m not avoiding—”

“Oh, please.” Mickey waved his hand to make you stop, diminishing your ridiculous attempt to fool him. “Don’t lie to me like that. Just… tell me what I did wrong so I can undo it and—”

You started shaking your head, nervous. “It’s not— It’s not like that.”

The look in Mickey’s eyes was so helpless that you felt how your heart started to crumble. “Please?”

You looked away from him, feeling the fast way your heart was pumping blood. If you had been seated, you would have started to bounce your leg up and down — Mickey couldn’t be more confused at your nervous-wreck state.

“Are you the murderer?” You asked in a whisper, almost not daring to look up to see his reaction.

But his face didn’t tell you anything. Mickey was completely emotionless as he stared back into your eyes, his brain processing very slowly those four words that had just left your mouth. How could you know? He was sure he had been really careful, trying not to let his mood after a kill or planning affect any scenario between you. Mickey knew you were smart, but how?

That was not the right direction to go, though, he realized as you waited for him to give you an answer. You had been acting all weird around him because of being scared of him, and that feeling didn’t make him feel entirely good. 

“Listen…” He started, coming a step closer to you, but you instantly backed away.

“Don’t.” You hissed rather abruptly, still not believing he hadn’t denied it completely and put an end to your delusion. You were right. “If you get closer I’ll scream.”

“Sweetheart!” Mickey exclaimed, surprised, his eyebrows shooting up as the pet name he reserved for your softest moments slipping past his lips in what was an improvised plan of manipulation. The seriousness in his voice and face was the only thing you could pay attention to, though. “I wouldn’t hurt you. You know that, right?”

You hesitated and he almost hissed right then. Falling for you hadn’t been on his plan, but now that same plan was being threatened just because you had found — and he couldn’t have that happen. Mickey wouldn’t kill you, no, but his partner easily could if you did something stupid, and he also did not want you to go to the police saying things about him and the murders. He needed to think of a solution, and fast.

“Then why would you hurt others?” You said hastily, then your head looking around you to really make sure no one was listening. “You’ve killed people, Mickey. I knew some of them—”

“You have to trust me.” He interrupted you instantly. There was only one way out, as he saw it: manipulation. Mickey needed you by his side. His acting skills were enough for you to stop looking so nervous, watching closely how his eyes fell to the floor in fake defeat — but you didn’t know he was acting. You didn’t even know he was a star. “I can’t tell you but you have to trust me. I would never do anything to hurt you.”

His hand reached out to grab yours, but you dodged it, rather defensive. “And why would I trust you?”

“Because I’m not a liar.” Mickey frowned slightly. If you didn’t let him convince you of staying by his side, he would have to… The way he called out your name was rather heartbreaking, this time managing to catch your hand and pressing it against his chest. “Please. I wouldn’t hurt you, and you know that.”

He was making you doubt, he realized, as your eyes fell to your hand on his chest. Mickey seemed desperate from your eyes — begging you to stay. But it wasn’t right… “It just… this changes so many things.”

Mickey shook his head. “No, it doesn’t. I still love you, and I always will.” His promise sounded genuine, and it was. There was no denying that, Mickey truly loved you. If he didn’t, you would already be another number on his back, after those little four words you said to him. 

But there he was, playing tricks on your mind without you noticing. “I’d trade my life for yours.”

“Mickey…”

“I wouldn’t know what to do without you.” He insisted, more strongly now. His eyes continuously searched for yours, knowing you wouldn’t be able to deny him if you were looking right into his eyes. “Please, please, you have to trust me. Don’t you love me anymore?”

The question shocked you, and if you had been in your right mind, you would have realized the length of the manipulation. But in that moment it only made you gasp, surprised that he would actually question it with such a real expression. 

You were quick. “Of course I do!”

“Then…” A sigh interrupted Mickey, who looked down, letting your hand go. He didn’t need that much dramatism, but now that he had actually gotten used to the part, why stop? “Please.”

There wasn’t much thinking from your side. Mickey had asked you to please trust him, and that was what you were going to do. He had also promised not to hurt you, and you knew him too well — or so you thought. There needed to be more behind all this, and you had to be by his side. 

“I trust you.” You muttered after some seconds, and he looked up instantly. A soft smile blossomed in his lips as you nodded. “I won’t tell, I promise.”

Mickey leaned closer to you, with the swiftest movement, a hand cupping your cheek. “I love you.” He whispered softly.

“I love you too.” You replied against his lips.

[unformula1]

i won’t ever leave (LS2 x OP81)

Everyone seems to keep leaving, all but one. w/c: 606 day 36 of loscar posts until we get a loscar podium (series masterlist) masterlist

People change as soon as the winds blow, one second they’re sweet and the next they’re horrible. 

Logan can’t trust anyone, not anymore.

------

Logan and Oscar sat on a bench near the track, it wasn’t too far but not too close either. 

“I wouldn’t necessarily say I’m ‘emotionless’, it’s more like I won’t show it unless purely needed.” Oscar explained, rather teacher-ly.

Logan just smiled in response, giving Oscar a slight chuckle as well.

“Well for you that would be different!” Oscar cheered, “Because you’re like my best, best friend.”

Logan could feel his heart flutter and his cheeks burn, his smile growing wider as well. Oscar was completely oblivious to this, too busy focusing on the sunset before them and comparing it to Logan.

Oscar stared far into the horizon while Logan stared far into Oscar’s eyes. They were definitely something worth staring at, they were gorgeous. They were absolutely beautiful. 

“Yea, you are a lot more expressive around me.” Logan said.

“I know, it’s intentional.” Oscar replied, clapping his hands gently.

-----

“Logs!” Oscar shouted from up top. Logan, who was walking along the track, shot his head up and saw Oscar, flashing his typical polite cat smile.

Logan smiled back, waving at him.

“Hello Osc.” Logan replied and Oscar waved back.

“Are you coming to the party with me?” Oscar shouted down.

Logan nodded, “Yep!” 

Everyone gave them stares, laughs or glares but Logan could care less, this was him and Oscar’s way of communicating. They had this special chemistry that you couldn’t find anywhere, it was unique and one-of-a-kind.

Oscar flashed his polite cat smile one more time and skipped off. Logan felt joyous, internally doing some sort of victory dance as his heart skipped a few beats.

Oscar had something Logan never knew he needed until he met Oscar, some sort of comforting voice or touch. Oscar was… calming.

------

Logan sits down next to Oscar on the bench, the awkwardness is tangible. Everything has changed since they last sat down.

Oscar became a sprint winner. People started loving Oscar Piastri.

Logan crashed in just about every race. People started doubting Logan Sargeant.

How times have changed. How people have changed. Everything has changed.

“Tough season?” Oscar asks, his voice slightly soft.

Logan can only force out a self-deprecating laugh, “You think?”

Oscar nods, “Talk to me if you need.”

Logan turns to Oscar and smiles, like they used to, when everything was simpler.

Oscar’s polite cat smile stays on for a while.

“I’ll still be here, right here for you.” Oscar says while patting the bench, his voice giving Logan some odd form of encouragement.

“You will?” Logan says with partial disbelief, since pretty much everyone left Logan on his own the moment failure hit.

“Right. Here.” Oscar says, placing heavy emphasis on him patting his spot on the bench. 

“Thank… thanks.” Logan smiles again. This is probably the most times Logan has smiled in 2 minutes.

Oscar chuckles, his voice laced with happiness “Your smile never changed.” 

In a solid attempt to cheer Logan up, Oscar continues, “I’ve missed seeing your smile.”

Logan can feel it all coming back, the positive emotions Oscar made him feel back then, the positive emotions Oscar makes him feel now.

Logan lowers his head in between his knees, hiding his awfully red blush from Oscar.

Oscar shifts himself to be closer to Logan, his hand firmly on Logan’s shoulder.

“I won’t ever leave.” 

Logan’s face is hidden but Oscar knows he’s crying.

Everyone either left, or changed. Everyone but Oscar. Oscar hasn’t changed, Oscar hasn’t left.

Oscar’s here to stay, and Logan can trust him

-------------- a/n: sorry for not posting lol. i'm BACK!!

[tortadecereji]

So, me and my friend @megamispe rewatched Monters vs Alians lately. My first thought? Why not make a komaeda centred au based on that lol. My computer broke, so I haven't drawn all the characters, but here's some doodles.

I'm having lots of fun with this au, so ill probably post more of it later. (Feel free to ask me about it if you'd like!)

Also, check Mega's twitter account, she gave me a lot of ideas for this au!!

The story would follow the same line as the movie, except that I added some stuff, so here's about the characters for now if you'd like to know:

Nagito Komaeda: Pretty much the same thing that happens to Susan in the movie, except... he's Komaeda...

Nagito was supposed to marry Byakuya the day a large meteor hit him. Said meteor contained a large amount of radiation that Komaeda ended up absorbing at the impact. Of course, he survived the incident due to his luck.

However, the radiation began affecting his body during the ceremony, which caused his previously light brown hair to turn white and his height to increase unbelievably huge. With that the wedding has been ruined, the guests were scared for their lives, Byakuya was grossed out by him now, and a monster containment organization has been called to capture him. The only ones who did worry about Nagito were Sonia and Gundham, but they could do nothing to stop him from being captured. Komaeda blames himself and his luck for ruining what should be the happiest day of his life and convinced himself that no matter what he tried, his chances of having the loving family he always longed for would always be taken away from him.

Byakuya Togami: He's the heir of the Togami corporation—just like in canon— and was about to marry Komaeda more for status and money than love. Nagito's family was loaded and had control over many interesting businesses for Togami, that's why he chose to marry Nagito, who was the only person left in his family. But once the radiation took over Komaeda, Byakuya gave up on the idea instantly. He did not want to deal with a giant-sized Komaeda, thinking that would ruin his image and career. It's not like Nagito has his family's assets now that he's a monster, so he's not interesting to Byakuya anymore. (Togami is a fucking asshole in this au, I'm sorry, Togami fans)

Sonia Nevermind + Gundham Tanaka: They're Nagito's best friends. Since Nagito's parents are dead, they're the ones who always help him out, including at his wedding. They were the only ones who were more for Komaeda himself after the meteor episode. Gundham even tried to stop some of the soldiers from the organization, but that was in vain, he and Sonia were pulled out of the area as well as the rest of the guests.

Eventually, when the monsters get Mukuro's permission to leave the containment base, Komeada goes directly to Gundham and Sonia's house so they know he's okay. Both Sonia and Gundham don't mind his new form, they're just happy to have their best friend back safe and sound.

Bonus: Gundham says that Nagito has reached his true form and that he knew from the start that Nagito wasn't entirely human. Komaeda shrugged it off as he knows it's just Gundham's dramatic way of speaking.

Mukuro Ikusaba: She takes the role of R. Monger.

Mukuro is a very talented soldier who got promoted to be in charge of area fifty-something(yes, the same as the movie. I'm not creative), where the monsters are being kept. She's cold looking and very straight to the point, but she also has a soft spot for the monsters she takes care of. That being said, she goes on her way to make sure they're comfortable in their new forever home, even if they can't escape to the outside world due to how humans would react.

After some months after Nagito's containment, Mukuro received the information that a huge alien robot bear had arrived on earth and proved to be a threat as it was killing innocent people and causing despair all over the place. Mukuro convinced the government to use the monsters to fight the robot since not even the armed force could, and in exchange, the monsters could finally be free.

Needless to say that Mukuro cared a lot for them, so she was very nervous about this decision as they could get hurt or even die.

Chiaki Nanami: Chiaki is a werebat. She has been in area fifty-something since she was 15. She's now 23.

Nanami has been found by the monster containment organization with one of her wings broken, so it was easier for them to capture her. It was a scary experience, she hated it there, but things improved when she met the Ultimate Hope, who she only calls Hajime(or Izuru if he's in control), they got attached very quickly as they noticed they were both very lonely and had problems socializing with the others monsters in the facility.

When she was 18, Mukuro got her promotion. Chiaki was cautious about her at first, but that soon changed as Ikusaba showed the monsters genuine care. Mukuro even gifted Chiaki a portable game console, which led to Nanami hyperfixation on games.

Nanami got interested in Nagito almost instantly, when he got into the facility, because of her curiosity. She surely hadn't planned that, but after some months, she and Hajime had developed a very strong bond with the white-haired man.

Hajime/Izuru(Ultimate Hope): The Ultimate Hope was born from a failed experiment a mad scientist performed on his son—Hajime Hinata— when the boy was 5 years old to try and stuff all talents known in the child's brain. That resulted in the creation of Izuru, however, the scientist hadn't expected Hajime's memories and soul to still be alive after the experiment. The Ultimate Hope was captured by the monster containment organization right after said experiment when they ended up killing their father in a post-trauma rage assessment.

Hajime and Izuru, despite showing different personalities, are the same person. They have the same feelings, same memories, same body... if, somehow, they were to be split apart, it'd be similar to cutting off a body member.

Hajime and Izuru intercalate who's in control of their body depending on the situation, Hajime being more in control during social and support situations, and Izuru during situations that require a bit more logic. Usually, Hajime's the one in control and izuru appears as his shadow. The same happens when Izuru takes control, but Hajime's the one being his shadow.

As previously mentioned, they take interest in Nagito and decide to approach him alongside Chiaki.

Akane Owari: She's a werewolf. Surprisingly the most difficult one to capture.

Akane has been found in a small village scaring some villagers away so she could steal their food and bring them to her younger siblings.

The monster containment organization tried to capture her more than once, but she always escaped using her inhuman speed. She also put up a fight leaving many soldiers harmed, but never killed them. She has only been captured one day when she came back to her cave and couldn't find her siblings anywhere. She lost the will to fight and let herself be captured.

She still don't know where they are, and that worries her very much, but she allowed herself to enjoy her new life since she not only got free food in the facility, but also got along pretty well with the other monsters.

King Monokuma: It is a gigantic alien robot that Junko sent to earth, in Japan to be precise, to torment the humans and bring them despair. However, King Monokuma is merely a distraction from her actual takeover plan.

She knew that the robot bear would get the world's attention, having most of the countries send resources that they believed would help take it down, as King Monokuma was believed to be a menace not only to Japan, but to the rest of the world too.

Still, even with how strong the robot was, it was defeated by the monsters strangely easily.

Junko Enoshima: Junko is an alien that destroyed her own planet. She's completely in love with despair and wants every living being to feel it.

It's always the same plan, she sends one of her Monokumas to scare the inhabitants of the planet she chose, and kills a bunch of people, only sparing a few that she thought that'd make wonderful remnants of despair and make them destroy their home planet themselves...

She'd watch the chaos and also plan more despairing things to do with the planet's inhabitants, like different types of killing games, until she gets bored and went to the next planet.

But earth is a little special for her, as it would not be the first time she'd be there. This time, she's eager to see a certain soldier again, but not only that, she wants the amount of power that had been contained within Komaeda(of course she doesn't knows that he's the one who has been hit by that meteor...yet).

Bonus thingy: Hajime/Izuru and Chiaki teach Nagito how to feel love. The trio + Mukuro and Akane become a founding family!!!