#it wasnt even dramatic or moving it was fucking ridiculous

[chainsawworld]

Yknow I don't think I've had a magnum ice cream since the night before the punishment and having one now.. yeah I cant really blame myself this ice cream is good

[stupidthoughtsinwriting]

i need to dump so leave if you don't want to read what i have to say

I don't complain about my mum. She's done everything for me and my brother and i will forever love her for that but damn it she says things that hurt.

i need to let this out bc i really have no friends to vent this out to but even if no one sees this, it's out there and i let it out.

I am a nice person. I like to believe im a nice person and the reason I doubt that is because i constantly get told the opposite by my own family. I try my best, to do things in the way my mum approves of and i really really try but still it isnt enough for her. i could easily forget one thing she tells me and she could ruin my just fine day by yelling at me for the smallest things and calling me ungrateful. Yes, i didnt do what i was supposed to but for christ sake i forgot. for every little thing she yells at me for it and it just... i can't stand sudden loud noises anymore because i have been yelled at so much, every loud thing startles me. I don't say my gratitude, yes but i try to show it because i didn't grow up close to her, not in that way and now i find it hard to express what i really feel and i can't tell her any of this because im scared.

the other day, i said i was nice. that i was a nice person and she said i wasnt. I replied saying I was, just not often at home and she said something along the line of 'because your not nice at home, you aren't nice at all. it starts at home' and that crushed me. did she consider the fact that i wasn't nice at home because nobody is nice to me at home. I constantly feel like i have to defend myself because of the tone that is said to me and when I give out any sort of emotion, she will fight on the fact that we/I have no right to feel mad at her because of her sacrifices.

For FUCKS SAKE i can't express emotion?!!! I can't be mad, or annoyed or tired or lazy for FUCK SAKEEESSS

you interpret completely innocent things as disrespect and we didnt even mean to do it. breathing out heavily, looking away from you. can't i just be tired and breath out?!! or look away because i dont want you to fucking ridicule the way my eye moves so you can interpret it to something you say is disrespectful to you.

i dont say any of this to you because i have it. i hate the yelling and im scare because of it.

another thing i dont want to say to her face is, I didnt ask for this. to be born. I didnt ask to be brought to life and i know, im being selfish or something but really, I didn't. you say things and make it like were such a burden to you but I didnt ask to be born. you wanted me, you raised me. understand that i can't always do everything and yelling only make it worse.

i don't say things to you because i don't feel that we're close enough to be like that bc for years, you focused on my little brother. for years, I felt that he was more your favourite than me and being the child i was, i accepted that. maybe it's me who's at fault for not learning how to open up and i take that. it's my fault.

when I do talk about something, mostly about the things im interested in, i am ignored. im dismissed. im talking too much. if so, I shut up and you take my silence as something else or nothing at all.

fuck i maybe being dramatic, as would seem to others but fuck, i need this out. i need all of it out. even just to a void no one listens to, i need it out.

it's the reason i could be so obsessive. In my head I take these characters and used them as my comfort because where else could i get it. I am sad, alone or lonely in a crowd, starved of affection that i don't know how to process and push away and these characters are all i've got to keep sane.

Mock me for feeling emotion, for crying when your mad at me and you wonder why i'm distant. why i don't tell you things about my life. why i dont answer? because i wasn't asked. because you didnt care before, i cant comprehend how you can now.

I really needed to vent this. I am so sorry for those who read for burdening you with all this but tbf you were warned. I don't care if anybody reads this, I just needed it out. Even if the person this is directed to, doesn't know any of this.

I needed to vent and truthfully, my heart feels a little bit lighter letting it all out. maybe i'll cry again in the shower or before i fall asleep but, i let it out and im kinda proud of myself for that.

[kitkatcadillac]

I always see posts about "stacking rocks is bad" followed by a million examples that have literally nothing to do with stacking rocks. Just fucking say dont take things home instead of knocking down something a little kid made and make em cry when nature will knock it down after they leave anyway. Stop whining. What is the actual harm directly connected to little rock stacks less than 6 inches high? Nobody can ever answer that plainly.

im amazed im getting asks about this 😭

if nobodys answered plainly, i take it you also have never taken time to go researching for yourself! which happens sometimes, i dont think its a habit everyone has, but if i have a question i start asking. especially when it comes to the environment!

i think the first thing to address is how that wasnt a perfect post anyway and its gotten out of hand. i want to make a note here that im not saying you cant ever stack rocks anywhere ever again. im not your mom fjdkf and theres places where thats not going to have an impact

but theres places- namely rivers- where its almost certainly going to be harmful.

removing rocks from the rivers and not returning them is an issue, because it changes the environment over time... if it was just one little kid doing it, it wouldnt be an issue, but its never just one little kid doing it. its never just kids, or little stones, or small stacks, and when you remove enough rocks, it can destroy the riverbed. i know that sounds ridiculous, but the rocks help give silt places to settle; clear rivers often have lots of rocks at the bottom! at least where im from (the states).

moving the rocks in this way also changes the way the wildlife can interact with it. the original post that my post was talking about mentioned that dragonfly larvae use the rocks to breed; theres been such dramatic removal and adjustment of rocks on rivers that dragonfly species have been directly affected, because their larvae cant hide properly using the rock piles. the piles do nothing to offer shelter, and the current in rivers is an issue too, but dragonflies arent the only ones affected by this.

aside from other fish, bugs, amphibians needing the rocks for shelter....

sometimes, nature knocking them back down IS the issue. in west virginia and ohio i know for SURE because ive lived there, theres been reported cases of the threatened hellbender salamander trying to use these rock piles for shelters, and then dying when the piles collapse on top of them, either from injury or being trapped.

thats really crummy, because hellbenders already are a sensitive species thats hard to keep the numbers up; amphibians are notoriously sensitive to water quality changes, some are hardier than others. the hellbenders on the sensitive side.

i appreciate you asking. im sorry that you sound so frustrated, but i promise that when places make requests and rules for certain things, they arent doing it just because they hate fun. parks take the preservation of the plants, animals, and scenery very seriously; even walking off the trails or picking flowers in certain places can be devastating, because you risk destroying endangered or struggling native plant life. its not because they hate your kids or something 😭 please dont think its all one big hostile "gotcha!" and always ask if you dont understand, its a really good habit.

and if someones knocking down a kids little rock stack right there instead of teaching them too theyre kind of an asshole ngl... just teach and explain to them to put the rocks back exactly as they found them and try to encourage them not to disrupt the environment if they can help it??? WHO is kicking a kids little project down while they are RIGHT THERE 😭

[cowboybuckleys]

i’m biased because well... duh.. but To The Bone wasn’t too terrible in terms of ED movies. and then at the hour and 30 minute mark it’s like the entire movie dives into the really weird, fucked up end of the pool. 

[misterbitches]

I ship muren and li cheng bc i only saw it through gifs then i watched this episode cos i was like im only starting this show if they kiss im waiting and they did and it was nice and i got so anxious that i was about to fucking vomit. I really like them together. The top/bottom shit is dumb and i hope if they must mention it they all build a bridge and get over it so they can switch cos who gives a shit. I didnt realize how large they all are like most “tall” men on tv are lying. But bc that kid is so thin and tall and the other one (idk the stepbrother) is huge too. Li cheng is shorter than them both but more ~manly~ but still short so why doesnt he take a DICK UP HIS BUTT XD since that’s all that fucking matters and there’s only 2 genders and 2 eays to have sex lmao so nothing else otherwise ur screwed

Hd a terrible past couple of weeks personally and because i keep seeing my peopl eget murdered and things ripped from us ^_____^ anyway here’s Some libertatrian communist dumb bitch discoars so i’ll tag it:

keep in mind these are my opinions’”” when i engage in discourse. I am not the end all be all and I don’t need you to agree. There’s some shit I am non-negotiable on but thsi is just exchanging of information. Any authoratative tone I take on comes from my beliefs, my life, my experiences, and what I choose to cultivate as a person and an artist. I dont have control over your feelings, you do. If it hurts you then either tell me the issue and be PRECISE about it, understand that context matters which is why i type so much in engagement, and do not fucking lie or misconstrue my words. Do not call me western ever in your life either. I am a black-american. I have adhd and bc i am a black woman if ur automatically thinking im brolic i am accepting money in my paypal for ur wellbeing to get me to shut the fuck up.Thanks.

The stepbrothers storyline is stupid and lazy writing. I really want to counter people that say it’s written well and that it’s interesting because it isn’t. Even if it was illicit and fucked we can write a story out about this. Let’s rethink what they could have done shall we:

- become stepbrothers at about 16 and their parents mismanage the relationship and they fail in trying to get an integrated family together (this is what happened in the #iconic transit girls and that was fuckin’ weird but hey dude guess what we watched it and it was weird but not unethical and we know one is like 19 and the other is 21 and a girl so it’s like wow you avoided so much and handled their stepsister story very…….um lightly given the end lmao but it was there and people had AGENCY)

-OR you realize that freak is obsessed with him and then he realizes it and is like “bitch i swear to god” and in typical shtity trope BL fashion they can find a way from obsession, to loss and independence when you lose your obsession, to “love” if they choose

- have the fucked up shit but make it clear what the issues are and you literally cannot write your way out of it so do not try

But why can’t fucked up things be shown? Also this is realistic.

0. Well according to you but no one said that they can’t. So that’s on your interpretation of critique (that is, again, not bullying or harassment.) They can, i just gave plenty of scenarios in which it is affective and not just annoying to witness, trope-y, and frankly ridiculous and offensive. Sorry! They don’t do it well. You can come up with alternatives too. See #2 btw.

1. No it isn’t doing a good job of reflecting life because life has consequences. The exaggeration in drama doesn’t mean the arc shouldn’t be there. Almost always things that aren’t heavy with the message or meant to be sobering in a deep way are COMPELLING. The realism is the basis for art because we are human. This is not the way real humans act.

Someone said Tharn Type was mature and I had to laugh because no, no one acts that way and is “in love” if they act that way that means they fucking hate each other and they’re immature and frankly it’s just not that interesting for many of us to watch because the dramatization of the “realism” is fucking bonkers. That was such poor writing it is unbelievable and someone has the audacityt o say it’s how real adults act. Fucking murder me if I’m with someone for 7 years and we break up over a miscommunication and for some reason I am not as horny as my always horny boyfriend. The fuck? What kind of lives do you lead? Either you are not an adult or you are an adult who needs therapy.

I also hear the “realistic” argument but then people try and temper it with “but also it’s fiction.” What do you think fiction is? Why do you think filmmaking exists? Number one, it’s propaganda in the sense that you want others to buy into your presentation and see what you see. That means that the creators are telling people and influencing them WITH ART BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT IT IS about their feelings around a situation. That’s why it is imperative to be responsible as a filmmaker and artist and underline the deepness of creepiness if that’s what they want. If they want to relay that rape sometimes ok and psychos are crazy so they get boy (??!?!?!? BITCH?) then they achieved it with no innovative information. We know people get raped bc we are human beings and many of us live with that fear. You know, being the target demo and all. And bc BL loves that trope it’s rape fantasy peddled to young people and women. Just like shitty wattpad fics or NYT best sellers. Hooray, what now? Or are you trying to purport that this isn’t glorified fanfiction? Which it literally is

2. This is the issue with these shows. No one is saying that fucked up shit cannot be shown. There’s a film about a woman who is raped and she falls in love with her rapist (because he was masked but i think we find out later that she knows. Binoche is in it.) I have no desire for that film—i think it’s by a man and i extra dont care—but I hear it’s sort of powerful for many. I heard it was a good film. But the act itself is always eschewed and the conflict comes from how fucking ridiculous it is especially finding out that she knows. The power imbalance adn the possibility. They may not have handled it in a way I would have cared for but it was there.

There’s simply no imagination because these people do not care that much and aren’t great writers and filmmakers because they simply do not have to be. Sorry.

The industry doesn’t rely on the best they rely on efficiency (this is everywhere.) You can tell by the camera angles, the editing, the camera itself (idk if it is multicam but the flatness is typical soap flatness without the glowboxes to soften their faces.) Simple constant lighting. Now the surroundings are mostly beautiful. But even to some of the costumes. And those edits are abysmal, some of that camera work.

So with all that said even with the couple I extremely enjoy I see its (H4) faults. Add into that a lazily thrown together “shocking” love and if they are trying to get us to feel a type of way about its sexiness they fail. This is why movies like 50sog, 365 days, etc aren’t enjoyable to people because it’s fucking strange situations that they dont want to entangle or make enjoyable to viewers across the board. They know what people will take. It’s just that bitch what are we here for if even the sexiness isn’t there for ur stupid story.

At least with that teenager and 30 yr old man in MODC (which i do not love but i like them in theory if it wasnt totally repulsive to me and also if it was developed in a way that was good TO ME) they had their, er, “sex appeal” i talk about this as well the main couple in MODC to me, visually, was a miss. Not bc whatshisface was small and stuff but bc he was so sickly and they needed that to propel the story but it was just not appealing given how the story progressed. A missed opportunity in tying the two together besides making him look waif-y and sickly only to have the “did ur mom die in a car crash? No, cancer” type of move in not another teen movie. But the opposite. And not funny. Wayne tho????? GORL. Eggs. Cracked.

fandoms have a very warped sense of harrassment and discourse.

Most fandoms have harassers who are “protecting” the cast and crew who don’t need their protection (or maybe the crew does since they probably dont get paid well but why the fuck would anyone care about that lol) but very few have the people who have concerns or massive critique about the show are not going to be “bullying.”

If people are saying “if you like xyz, u suck” then sure it may suck for you to see but who fucking cares. Either talk to the person or don’t be friends with them. That is not bullying or harrassment. Things that are shitty get criticized. Fuck, things that aren’t shitty don’t. Get away from this idea of cancel culture and people misunderstanding the story. We have the ability to.

Think beyond your noses of personal preference. You don’t have to convince people of what you believe. Discussing it is good but critique is not bullying, harrassment, or hate. Neither is fucking roasting shit because even this shit I like (manner of death lets say) deserves it. Art is meant to be critiqued and if you dont fucking like the bullshit people make then say it. They know stupid stories like this are scandalous and they don’t give a shit in how to present them.

And guess what? You won’t like everybody. Many people can’t stand me i’m sure. Oh well. I mean frankly I don’t like that and I feel very unsettled when I don’t feel understood. That’s ok! I have to temper it. Sometimes calm myself down. I won’t get anything and everything I want. And you won’t like every opinion and sometimes it’s like “man am i a dummy?” But the part of growing up is fucking maanging that and beng honest about “bashing and harrassment” and “bullying” and growing up. Yuo can like what you want the “let people like what they want thing” is so fucking juvenile and THAT is not the real world. Which is probably why so many people feel that way, they dont want to live in the real world. Unfortunately, you do.

Think beyond our noses of personal preference and what we feel emotionally in conjunction with others. You don’t have to convince people of what you believe. And you can say things that you believe to be true but it doesn’t make them so or maybe it isn’t received that way to people. And many times we learn new things in the discussions “oh shit i didn’t see it that way” right? Discussing it is good but critique is not bullying, harrassment, or hate. Neither is fucking roasting shit because even this shit I like (manner of death lets say) deserves it. Art is meant to be critiqued and if you dont fucking like the bullshit people make then say it. They know stupid stories like this are scandalous and they don’t give a shit in how to present them. Usually the “opposition” in these situations aren’t the popular beliefs that permeate through society. Trust me lmao

Antiblackness

Antiblackness is a thing. It permeates everywhere. It permeates in this genre and it permeates in fandom. Get it the fuck together. Also do not conflate cultural relativism with being repsectful. They are not barbarians, they are smart human beings either making work or deciding to. We all have diff cultures but we have fucking sense in what is respectful and not. And if we don’t we fucking learn. You cannot excuse things and say “oh culture” when you have 0 idea of that culture or actual people who are radical etc and are fighting against it. Additionally the word westerner is an ignorant term when referring to people in the US or UK who are black. Because we are not. We extend sympathy to other groups and empathy since we know so there is no inherent power imbalance between a black viewer and their subject. Don’t suggest that because it’s wrong and ahistorical and contextless.

FIRST the fallacy of representation as freedom makes people fucking complacent, individualistic, and doesn’t let them think critically. Consumption and discourse around consumption is not helping material conditions of the marginalized communities in your home, the black ones who are ignored, those intersectionalized in these communities. Groups talk about art and what it means for them outside of just what we see and because we also don’t have access to a bunch of Thai reviews or what movements or going on we are less likely to know if we don’t FUCKING SEARCH for it. Because art is constant...which leads me to....

Representation is difficult. It matters and it doesn’t.

Tthese shows are not meant to overturn the LGBTQ+ community.

There are queer filmmakers and artists in these countries. Deep illustrious film careers or even TV that is moving and deliberate. We can even see it with the dude from “your name engraved” in their short series he was in beforehand. BL is no wa pejorative because it is simply not “qu**r” storytelling whatever that means. But know it has always existed everywhere and there are also out artists or radical artists in all these countries who do no respect mediums that are cash-grabs and poorly made.

ex: As much as “Like in the Movies” sort of isnt for me and is a bit hamfisted you can tell how much love goes into that. Love of the characters, acting, and message. Yes it’s cringey to see some of the lines (like very tbh subtlety wasnt exactly their strong suit) and yea naming them after lenin and marx is just 0ihgoaudgijposkagjihou BUT GUESS WHAT? THEY FUCKING DID IT. THEY TRIED. And class was a large component as well bc u cant fuckin ignore it. The show is aware of the machinations in its world as a show but also in the philippines and for a fuckin reason. And duatarte? Loooooooool so like yea not so sure bl makes him love his ppl but the show isnt trying to do that

It’s not a transgressive genre and it has no reason to be. No ethical anything under the way we live it’s just trying your fucking best to be. That’s it. They serve societal ills and capital’s purposes. Which is fine but it is not revolutionary.

These countries in SEA or even SA do not have as big budget for even mainstream dramas—though things are changing and that’s bc REVENUE like revenue from kpop is fucking huge for SK and again so much about that is bc of what happened in their history from japanese imperialism to WWII to the US—so for “queer” stuff it is sort of now important to make that an export and it sure is one. Not only globally or to the west but a lot of these places make their money within asia (duh!) outside of their countries. OBVIOUSLY. so BL is a way to output and gain money. The thing is, it doesnt seem to be put back into the industry at all. For people in all these countries to make works that aren’t for mainstream or wont reach as many people there’s a difference between trying and just shoving shit in your face and going here it’s gay you like it right? But dont antagonize the inherent patriarchal nature of BL.

Another thing: did you guys know thailand was never colonized? You should look it up. There’s little hints of things in ITSAY to represent french influence still. Isnt that fascinating? Find out why. It’s certainly interesting that the representation, though damaging and dubious many times and also incorrect like any media, is huge in asia and this isnt a commodity here (the US) exactly. A lot of that has to do with colonial ideas of gender of which I am sure. But listen………lmao

Sometimes people dont give a shit. And it very much shows. Here is the thing once again. GOOD TRANSGRESSIVE WORK exists.

Een within the capitalist Bs paradigm or you can see people trying (I can sort of applaud parts of lovely writer) also queer media has always existed everywhere the reason you don’t know about it is because it gets takena nd commodified into a mainstream product. We hvae little incentive, particularly if we are not fans of cinema or art in gen, to search fror others when the output is right here. Being dictated by others and the state and who will give you money. No longer an effort of a cast and crew who want to convey things. But google [any country] independent cinema, radical cinema, queer radical cinema, or even retrospectives on the cinema and rethinking what is queer and radical in film. What if we took that, diluted it, got rid of the creators who put themselves through all the work, ignroe al the nuances and do……………….two actors who are conventionally attractive with no chemistry making out.

It’s the same here lets say daniel kaluuya winning the oscar for the film about the BPP. I heard it was okay and not too offensive but it still isnt’ enough. It still isn’t like hwood isn’t trash, nnati black, misogynistic towards BW and women, and all that other shit. It was pushy but it can’t be enough where we are. Black KKKlansmen i think won an oscar, by circumstance i fuckin hate these award shows they mean nothing, and i like the film a lot but he has his misogynoir still resting in his films even if it is poignant. And it was a film that honestly wasn’t really made for black people. And should all art be a response to direct trauma or trying to make ourselves palatable when we’re just human?

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ and it’s importance (capitalism) but also sorta individual responsibility

Considering a lot of these actors are rich and then just dip that’s another problem. Mainstream isn’t what sustains marginalized art ever. It doesn’t change in the vast ways we think it does. What changes is the people of these groups pushing, fighting, forcing and then capitalism trying to make it work under capitalism. It will not. It cannot.

This is why artists and labels often don’t mix or you see people like Sonic Youth doing whatever they want and pissing off their label but making them give them money. Same with Nirvana. Vince Staples. The thing is they can fight and make good shit but what capitalism helps people….not care? They don’t respect the audience? We’re getting those returns on poor executed product placement, lighting, editing, framing, fucking acting. And you surewon’t see mixed black asians in these shows. WHY R U is the oNLY one i have seen it in and he just disappears (but that was pretty cool.) so who the fuck is this representing? And before you start: asian countries are not homogenous the way we believe them to be. There are marginalized communities outside of even mixed people that are harmed. So you can skrrt cause on that one: you’re wrong buddy. But it gives us the IDEA of a paradise which is what they NEED.With representation and visibility comes consequence and responsibility as artists. What it allows them to do is coast and not think complexly because why should they; it’s mostly the fantasies of some older woman who probably has money and much less interaction with the world. It’s bonkers. And what that allows even further is for them to say YOU ARE THE THING THAT YOU CONSUME and the THING THAT YOU CONSUME IS YOURS. It is not, it is not your identity, form a close bond but figure it the fuck out. Especially for adults who are hellbent on twisting their minds into pretzels and can’t acknowledge what’s just laziness in art and not giving a fucking shit. Truly.

There’s damage that has been done from Parasite as he was supported by CJE&M and the bullshit obsession america had and eveyrone’s poor interpretation of it if they are rich. BJH is a socialist and he is a filmmaker. He has made films that are outstanding and cost a lot of money. But now a fear for indie filmmakers is just not being able to raise that much or have that much attention. Getting funding that helps them instead of expecting the Next Big Thing that is a fad because capitalism is trash. Yes this funneling of money is absolutely harmful to us artists. Even buying in is strategic. Additionally, that film is probs one of the most radical films to have that wide release and accolade (unlike “Sorry to Bother You” which i have a lot of thoughts about. One being that asian exports are acceptable but black ones are not. This is an overall art critique and global media critique. Blackness is removed, not respected.) However, filmmaking isn’t green, it can’t be socialist, and it’s a lot of work. They used tons and tons and TONS of water to do a huge beautiful feat but we still know there is a cost. We have to figure that out because it shouldn’t be. It doesn’t go back into the crew’s pockets the way it should and the work becomes that of the director’s and actors solely. It’s fucking hard. We have to do our part but it doesn’t mean we are doing it perfectly. We just have to try to do better. So does BJH cos he needs to not be a misogynist but anyways i digress.

additionally and this is something some users fail to understand: people in the media sphere generally have fucking money. I went to film school that was international with super fucking rich kids. Taiwanese kids, kids from south asia, china, thailand. They had money. No not upper middle class money, not “rich” money, not some paltry 1m that’s chump change. Fucking money. Fucking RICH-RICH. MILLIONAIRES. BILLIONAIRES. WHICH IS DISGUSTING MIGHT I ADD. The domestic people didn’t have the money for school (in the UK) and i am in a massive amount of debt like every other black student that went there. You do not understand how much money is needed to survive so people who turn to these crew positions even casting etc need this fucking money usually. OKAY. A lot of the people that do well in these dumb shows or even on a larger scale HAVE MONEY. The reason these industries are small and struggling is because of lack of people and lack of resources to independent shit because oh gee it takes money to make things.

Why should I try? Well you don’t have to really if you have money or a name. Yet...

We can tell when like those Tik Tok shows or DCOMs dont give a shit (anymore.) You know how frustrated we get when content for young people is garbage? Well, see, BL is literally that under that system. Occasionally we will get something good now but there is virtually no need in any sector in the world at this point to truly figure out how to make it better and what to do to enhance artistic literacy, outreach, teaching people new things, getting people from these communities there and having true realistic says. Art and culture is IMPERATIVE TO WORLD LIBERATION but not when it is so stiffly trying to bend to capital’s idea of progressiveness. No. Neoliberalism. No.

That’s why in a way ITSAY is a huge feat; it takes from films etc and they clearly had money (the actors rae rich too which….lmaooooo j’aime pas) but it was a respected fucking script, acting was important, blocking, framing. There’s very little to critique as a visual medium for that because I understand what they are trying to do, their market is going to be mostly young girls, but they RESPECT THE FUCKING AUDIENCE. And guess what guys? You can make money from it!!!! WOAH! Since that may be the only goal which is disgusting and repulsive.

HOWEVER AND THIS IS WHAT IS SAD: itsay is an ex of a great show however knowing the actors backgrounds and the pseudo trouble it stirred when they weren’t supporting people protesting against the coup in the summer it really put a damper on my enjoyment. And this is how we can see that:

a) it’s honestly just a show and a good one but b) now what?

These kids (actors, who are like idk 19? 20?) are rich and not saying anything while countless actors, who were filming, did. Even tul who has $$$$ and the thing is the protesting against the coup legitimately attacks the rich. As it should. The protests going on were cries for help, against a dictatorship and fucking coup, asking people to get fucking help for covid, having kids be able to live. There’s a mini on VICE about this and it probably doesnt go too in depth but there’s a kid in there who talks about his friends getting into drugs and how he just wants to make music, have fun, skateboard. And it’s harrowing to see. This is a direct example of what these things do and don’t do. Yea we know a good show is here, we know growing up and slice of life, we know this is a bit of escapism and idealism but the idealism is reflected in the way these actors also choose to live their lives. So what progress? To who? For who? How is this helping me? What purpose does it serve? I say ITSAY serves its purpose as a piece and a glimpse into possibility of growing up but i do not say it antagonizes a broader issue that needs to be relevant in some sense but simply is not. It’s very singleminded and, well, it’s sort of like “besides my sexuality, what do i have to worry about?” But for real humans like....a lot. I do not respect their decision at all.

Why can’t we do our jobs and make something decent and respect our audience? No time, gotta make that sweet sweet sweet cash baybee. Look how progressive we are! Don’t look at history and material conditions. Thanks in advance, management.

History 4 does not have that respect. Many of these shows do not. Sometimes we hit good, sometimes we don’t. But in the end we cannot settle. And I won’t. If I am critiquing something I will not be shy and if I am meant to enjoy something as escapism then these shows NEED to highlight that and it’s rare sometimes (the best twins is a good reminder like that show is bad but man do i Brain Empty when i turn it on and i like that and there’s not much in it that makes me want to kill myself from annoyance but there are transphobic jokes i dont love however the whole show is a comedy about this dude’s crazy homophobic sister and she is constantly positioned as wrong and they talk about the aforementioned trans women as the actor was in drag. Interesting that they can manage that, huh?)

Oh btw.....taiwan has a very complicated history but ignore all the bad stuff it’s good now you can kinda sorta get married and stuff. KMT? You know how i learned that? I care about human beings and read about it lmao. I am not Taiwanese and look at that. So now I have historical and DIALECTICAL~**~*~****~*~*~ context so i can judge it as an artist, a black woman from america, and from the knowledge i have to pick up on their history to see if this fits into a broader picture besides the micro-one of sexuality on an individualized level. And this is kinda where it comes full circle: these shows are not you, you are not them, they do not exist in a vacuum because nothing does. The failure to critique now means continuing on as it has and it will still do so. History and time are not linear in the sense we think it is. Someitmes things are better, sometimes things feel more austere. We are not living under liberation though and these shows are not going to do so. So they are not US nor are they for a nebulous “us” of which the groups are all fractured and have diff opinions anyway (my opinion as a black american is going to vary from an asian woman’s say and that could really clash and i do not feel solidarity with all those in every community i am for several reasons.)

Final thots that have taken up my time and the only thing i actually wanted to write but got distracted:

Anyway my dissertation is that I ilke Muren and LiCheng a lot a lot and i like how cute they are and how truly dumb li cheng is. This is an example of mostly good writing, decent actors, nice chemistry, and sort of a calmness to them. And I super enjoy how Muren is pretty forward with LC in the sense that being together is like very important to truly be together. When he was like “no i didnt forget!” Or when LC asked him something in the office I forget it was 6 am and again i almost threw up and muren nodded and then LC leaned on him. Very cute. I want more of them tho i may have to skip that othre couple (the cameo the ones from MODC) but omfg the younger one HIS HAIR GREW SO MUCH HE LOOKS SO MATURE AND CUTE OMFGIJ0HUG9SAOGIJPKOAGJSIOHUAGIJP hahhaha the one good thing i will say about THEM.idk how old the actor is i figure he was young idk it makes me happy to see him he’s very cute. I hope he’s in something i can watch and not gag at. Is he hot? Who knows but he is a cutie!!

Anyway muren and lc have a good thing going it’s nice to watch ho\pe they dont fuck it up but im truly a sucker for some true finds 2 luvas i think some user on her\e was like i’m not a fan of friends ot lovers bc it doesn’t seem like they’re actually friends and maybe they were referring to this show idk. But it made me think and it was a very good observation. So i think they are friends and also luvrs <3

[anythingandeverything1d]

Kicks and Catch Ups

Chapter 1: Congratulations Chapter 2: I’m having your baby Chapter 3: Plum Sized

It had been a few months since Harry moved in, and well things were not as great as the idea had originally seemed. You loved Harry, but he was being difficult to work with on a lot of levels. One being Luke. Harry and Luke did not get along in any kind of way. Harry thought Luke was trying to take his place and make moves on you. You were laying in bed while Harry was downstairs writing and your brain was thinking about the fight that had occurred a few weeks ago.

* “Harry I’m going out to lunch with Luke and then we were going to go look at some baby stuff. I should be home later okay?”

“Whatever.” Harry sighed rolling his eyes. You groaned and walked over to him.

“Harry, remember when we agreed to talk things out not hold them in? You need to tell me if somethings bothering you...”

“You want to know what's bothering me? How about the fact that you are trying to hold onto this-this fling or whatever the two of you had while I was gone. You go out with him all the time and he's coming to all our appointments and now he's taking you shopping for OUR baby? If you want him, have him but I’m out.”

You sat on his lap and held his cheeks in your hand. “Haz the only one I want is you. Luke is just my FRIEND. That’s it. He's going to be like an uncle to the baby and I want him to feel involved in everything. There is absolutely nothing going on with Luke and I. I promise.” You kissed his lips softly but he wasnt having it. Luke happened to walk in that moment as well.

“Hey beautiful ready to go?”

Harry shot him a wicked glance and pushed you off his lap, standing to walk over to Luke. You ran up behind him and pulled him back. “Harry. Harry look at me.” He slowly turned and you reached your hands around his neck and kissed him softly. “I love you.” you whispered. 

Harry sighed and kissed your cheek. He then grabbed your coat and helped you into it. Looking at Luke he threatened, “Make a move and I will destroy you.” You smacked his arm in response. He dramatically kissed you again before whispering “I love you” back. “Take care of my girl.”

“I always do.” Luke smirked and held out his hand. You were annoyed with everything happening here so you brushed past it and walked to the car. In the car Luke decided to play it up. “Why are you even with him. He’s a fucking asshole. He’s just going to leave you when the baby gets here, go back on tour, fuck another random bitch at a bar and leave you AND your baby here and heartbroken. I mean seriously (y/n) how stupid are you with letting him back in like this. He’s a possessive and manipulative dick.” You looked over at him with tears in your eyes. He knew he had over stepped but said nothing. 

“Let me out of the car.”

“What? No. That’s ridiculous.”

“Luke let me out now.” 

“(y/n) I’m not going to just let you out of the car.”

“Stop and unlock the door. I want out now.”

“Youre being dramatic-”

“LET ME OUT.” you were crying now and Luke saw that the argument was over. He pulled over to the sidewalk and you jumped out. “Don't call me until youre ready to apologize.” You slammed the door shut and started the walk back home. It was chilly that day so you had called Harry, who had immediately come to pick you up. You cried in his arms about everything Luke had said and how you were afraid he was going to leave you and the baby. 

“I’m not going anywhere. If I go on tour, you and the baby will come too. We can make this work love I promise.” *

You shook your head and cleared the thoughts. Luke hadn't come over or called since. Harry had been a little better since then, more supportive, a little less jealous, and overall more like the Harry you had originally fallen in love with. When Harry moved in the two of you had agreed not to date or make something of the situation. You wanted to feel everything out, work on the problems that you had before and see where you were at. You still weren't dating or ready to be dating, but you were in a much better place. Besides the arguing- but being stuck together for long periods of time would do that to you. Harry was currently writing and working on his second album which meant that he was working all the time. He would spend hours upon hours in meetings with other writers. You loved that he was doing what he loved but you also wished he would be a little more present in the baby preparations. Helping with the nursery, purchasing clothes, all of that. 

The one person who had been way more supportive was Anne, Harry’s mom. She was even throwing you a baby shower this weekend with the help of Gemma, his sister. You were excited, you just wished Harry was too. You climbed out of bed and wandered downstairs. Harry looked up and smiled as you approached. He grabbed your hand and pulled you onto his lap. “Want to hear what I’ve been working on?” You nodded and smiled. He held up the page of lyrics and began singing. “I’m in my bed, and youre not here, and theres no one to blame but the drink and my wandering hands, forget what I said, Its not what I meant, And I cant take it back, I cant unpack the baggage you left, What am I now? What am I now? What if I’m someone I don't want around? I’m falling again, I’m falling again, I’m falling, What if I’m down? What if I’m out? What if I’m someone you won't talk about? I’m falling again, I’m falling again, I’m falling” He looked at you and wiped a tear from your eye.

“That’s beautiful H”

“It’s how I felt...you know...after we broke up. I regretted everything...I wanted to make it up to you but I didnt know how. I guess this little one is to thank for bringing you back into my life.” You were crying harder now. Harry hadn't really expressed any emotions like this in a while especially about him leaving. “Don't cry (y/n)...I’m sorry. I shouldn't have-”

“No.” you wiped your eyes and smiled. “I’m glad you are talking about it.” You kissed him. “I’m really glad youre back in my life Harry. I really missed you.” You laughed and wiped his tears.

“Now you’ve got me crying.” He laughed and kissed you. 

“Oh!” you exclaimed making him jump a little. “Harry its happening!” You grabbed his hand and positioned it on your stomach where you had just felt a kick. The baby had been very active lately but Harry always seemed to miss the kicks. He still hadn't felt one. You moved his hand around. “Come on little one...” You watched Harry’s face as the baby kicked. His mouth dropped open, a smile formed, dimples and everything. He was crying harder now too. You laughed, “That was a good one.”

“I think that was a futbol kick” He laughed. You wiped his tears and touched your nose to his with a smile. “God, this little one is going crazy right now.” Harry was in awe. He kept touching your belly and talking to it. 

“I think our little one likes your singing..” 

He smiled and started singing, “Lately I found myself thinking, been dreaming about you a lot, and up in my head im your boyfriend, but thats one thing you've already got” He smiled at you. “Come on (y/n), I know you know the lyrics.”

“He drives to school every morning, while I walk alone in the rain, he’d kill me without any warning, if he took a look in my brain.”

Harry chimed in, “Would he say he's in L-O-V-E? Well if it was me then I would, I would, Would he hold you when youre feeling low? Baby you should know that I would, I would.” You laughed as the baby did another big kick. This is exactly what you had imagined being pregnant with Harry would be like. Someone knocked at the door and you jumped up to get it. 

“Hey” Luke was standing at the door with a shy smile and a bouquet of flowers. 

“Hey.” You said back.

“Can we talk?” You nodded and let him in where he followed you to the kitchen. Harry rolled his eyes and got up to leave. “No, Harry wait. I wanted to talk to both of you.”

You sat down next to Harry and Luke sat across from you. You all just stared at each other for a few minutes before Luke sighed. “I’m sorry. My behavior was embarrassing and out of control. (y/n) what I said to you...I’m so sorry. I never should have done that and Harry? Man I’m sorry I didnt give you another chance when you came back. Look okay, (y/n) youre my best friend, like my little sister. I didnt want to see you hurt the way you were when he left the first time.” He looked at Harry and shook his head. “Harry you don't deserve her. She's the purest, kindest, and best person I know. But youre still here, youre still trying and I respect that. I hope you work everyday to try to deserve her.”

Harry nodded. “I don't deserve her. Youre right there. She's incredible and the things I’ve done...” you squeezed his hand gently. “Ive been working on making myself better for her. I don't want to hurt her or the baby ever again. I respect you caring for her, for looking out for her, and for being there when I wasnt. But I am back now so I just feel like you were trying to out do me when I was already trying so hard.”

Luke nodded, “I’m sorry man, I overstepped. It won't happen again.” He looked back to you. “(y/n) I overstepped our friendship boundaries and Im sorry. I shouldn't have done that.” 

“Its okay...I know you were trying to help..”

“I was but I said some things that never should have been said. I don't know anything about the two of yours relationship and I’m not sure I really want to” He laughed and smiled at you, “But I really really miss you. Can we fix things?”

You got up and hugged him tightly. “I missed you too.” Luke smiled and held out his hand to Harry.

“Truce?”

Harry nodded and shook the hand. “You should stay for dinner, I’m sure theres a lot to catch up on.” 

Luke smiled and nodded. “Is that the latest picture?” He looked at the fridge where the ultrasound pictures were hanging. 

“Yeah thats from yesterday.” You said walking over. “Finally entering my third trimester..”

“Thats so crazy...it looks like an actual baby now. Is it? Did you find out the gender?”

Harry walked over and shook his head, “We decided to wait..Im pretty sure its a girl though.” Luke laughed.

“What do you think?” 

“I think its a boy.”

“So you both think its something else. Who's gonna be upset when they are wrong?” He asked laughing.

“Harry.” You wrapped an arm around his waist and smiled.

“Probably me.” He agreed. “Ive always wanted a girl. Plus I just think a mini (y/n) would be adorable.”

“It would for sure. I think its a girl too but only because I know (y/n) wants a boy.”  Luke said laughing. You rolled your eyes and smiled. This is how things should've been the whole time.

“So I’m starving...what’s for dinner?”

“What do you want?” Harry asked.

“Yeah youre the pregnant one. What sounds good today?”

“Well honestly pickles and peanut butter sound really good.”

Harry gagged and Luke laughed. “That sounds absolutely disgusting.”

“If thats what you want babe...” Luke shot Harry a surprised glance.

“No..thats not fair to the two of you...how about pizza?”

Relief flooded both of their faces and they nodded. “I’ll order.” Harry said grabbing his phone and leaving you and Luke alone in the kitchen.

“So how have you been?” he asked.

“Good. I mean I’ve been really tired a lot but I also haven't been sleeping well so thats probably part of the problem. I just cant get comfy at night and when I try to sleep the baby gets all active and awake.”

“Well thats no fun. How have things with Harry been?”

You sighed sitting down and rubbing your belly. “We have really good days and some bad days. Things have gotten a lot better lately and today was kind of perfect. I think he's settling back into the idea of everything.”

“Are you and him....you know..a thing..or dating..or what's going on there.”

You bit your lip, “I don't know exactly... I mean I want to be more but we originally agreed just to see what happened..but now? I just feel like I know Harry’s the one. I know I’ll never love a guy the way I love him. And I want things to work with us and the baby. I want us to be a family. I just don't know where he stands.”

“Have you asked him?”

“No...I just don't want to ruin what we have already.” You decided you didnt want to talk anymore about this so you changed the subject. “How’s the girl you've been going out with?”

“She's good. Yeah, I really like her. You’ll have to meet her sometime.”

You smiled. “I’d love that. We could double date. That could be fun!”

“Maybe.” He laughed shaking his head. “That might be a little weird.”

“Why?”

“Because one, youre pregnant and two your dating Harry Styles, and three your pregnant with his baby. That’s a lot for any normal person to take in.” he laughed.

“I think we should go for it.” 

“We’ll see.”

Harry walked back in with a smile on his face. He kissed your head and sat in the chair next to you. “What are you two laughing at?”

“I want us to double date with Luke’s new girlfriend.”

“Oh that would be fun.” Harry nodded. 

“I don't know.” Luke said laughing more.

“The pizza will be here shortly. Luke if you want to call and invite her over..”

“No-No thats okay..”

“No, Luke invite her! She's probably upset you cant hang out tonight because youre here..”

“Eh..I mean are you guys sure?”

You and Harry nodded. “Go for it.”

You smiled and clapped your hands together. “Yay! Its been so long since we've done anything like this!” Harry smiled and nodded looking down. 

“I should probably put on clothes.”

Luke nodded and you laughed, “I don't know H, you look pretty hot to me.” You wiggled your eyes and kissed you while laughing. 

“How hot?”

“Okay gross.” Luke chimed in breaking up the moment. “Aren't you pregnant and like not supposed to get all like that?”

“You mean horny?” Harry asked laughing. “I mean if anything (y/n) has been way more interested lately than before. Our sex life is kind of killing it right now.”

Luke shuddered and you laughed as he looked you up and down. “How exactly does that work with the...with the belly and the baby?”

“Oh trust me Lucas, its a lot hotter than youre imagining.” Harry laughed as he walked upstairs to put on a shirt.

Luke was still grossed out by it but picked up the phone and read the text he got. “She's going to come..”

“Yay! I’m excited!” you groaned. “Ugh this baby definitely makes things interesting.”

“You good?” Luke asked concerned.

“Yeah, sometimes it just kicks against my bladder and you know.”

“Know what?” he asked confused.

“Sometimes I just pee a little.”

“What?”

“Yeah.”

“Thats disgusting. Okay please don't bring up youre baby sex life and pee problems to Maddie.”

You laughed. “Oh the baby is kicking again want to feel?”

He nodded so you grabbed his hand and placed it where the baby was kicking. He felt it and jumped back. You laughed. Harry’s reaction was adorable, exactly what you had expected him to act like. Luke’s was not. Luke seemed a little grossed out by the baby kicking. He said he was good when you asked if he wanted to feel again which only made you laugh harder. A knock at the door broke the laughing and Harry who was already walking down the stairs answered it. 

“Hey.” He said with a smile. The girl looked a little taken back and you walked forward.

“You must be Maddie?”

“Yeah..” She was still looking at Harry surprised.

“Luke’s inside, come on in. I’m (y/n).” she shook your hand with a smile and looked down at your belly but didnt say anything. “This is Harry.” Harry smiled and waved hi before leading her into the kitchen to where Luke was waiting. 

“Mads Hey!” He walked over and gave her a hug. “Sorry I assumed it was the pizza or I would've answered the door. Well I guess you've met (y/n) and Harry?”

“Yeah.” she smiled at him. She was probably thinking why he didnt warn her Harry Style was going to be there as well. “Its nice to meet you.” 

“The pizza!” Harry shouted running to the door when someone knocked. A few minutes later he came back carrying a few boxes of pizza and breadsticks. “Dig in everyone.”

Harry made you a plate with 4 huge pieces of pizza and you laughed. “Haz, I don't need that much..”

“The baby needs to eat...shes going to be a futbul star remember?”

You just laughed and took a bite. Dinner flew by, you and Harry were asking Luke and Maddie all kinds of questions about their relationship. You liked Maddie, she would keep Luke in his place and challenge him a bit which is what he needed. After dinner they excused themselves and left. Luke hugged you tightly whispering goodbye to the baby and then shook Harry’s hand. Maddie waved goodbye. You and Harry were left. You hugged him tightly and smiled.

“What?” He asked looking down at you, his green eyes sparkling.

“I’m just happy.” you answered. “I’m happy with our relationship...I’m happy that Luke is back. All of it.”

“Im happy too.” Harry kissed your nose and smiled. “Luke may not be that bad after all.”

---

Kind of a short chapter, but I hope you enjoy! Stay tuned for the next one!

[akechicrimes]

tomorrow A-side / tomorrow B-side

@blazhy​ this got so long and im so sorry in advance 😔

the story of the two endings is a whole mess. i set out to write a story where akira and akechi reunite, akira becomes incredibly angry with akechi after reuniting post-royal, and in the original premise, akira just absolutely tears him apart--even moreso than he already does in B-side, because the original conceit was an angry fistfight and then horny makeouts. LMFAO. and then, i think, i vaguely imagined that akira would tell akechi to leave him the fuck alone, at least for a little while, while akira figured his emotions out.

also, i imagined that the story would be about 2-3k long, so as you can see by the fact that both editions of tomorrow are longer than 17k, you can see how this did not work out. LOLOL.

so with this premise in mind, i tried to figure out how they’d get to such a falling-out argument, and started with a external third person pov about the phantom thieves noticing how sad akira was after akechi left. i scrapped that because i feel a type of way about stories that center around validating the main character’s pain, switched to close-third person, started throwing around super mournful, angry, and generally upset paragraphs about how akira felt with akechi gone, which later became the sections nearer to the end (e.g. his dream about akechi’s funeral).

i really liked the strain of “akira daydreams about all the ways that the reunion could go, only for the actual reunion to be a total letdown/wake-up call,” so i kept writing the passages about his daydreams and how they eventually became more and more exhausted from the strain of waiting. and because i kept chasing that thread, it turned into the whole 16k saga that’s up on ao3.

around the midway point, i realized that the original ending wasnt going to work, because the original ending seemed weirdly fantastical and too picture perfect, especially after 16k of words about akira imagining picture-perfect scenarios where everything works out, and it felt wrong to play right into his fantasies of a reunion where things turn out alright.

so about the midway point, i came up with a series of different ideas that later became the B-side ending--rather than necessarily an argument that turned into an emotional reunion, maybe something less fantastical. in one of these endings, akira says he’s tired of being in love with goro, which finally sparks a conversation about their feelings. (i did not write this because it was a hugely guilt trip move on akira’s part. it made sense considering akira’s very very long wait for three years, but it made me want to gag, thinking about akira throwing his feelings at goro like goro is responsible for them.) in another one, akira apologizes for being in love with him (i dont remember WHY this was a thing). these were kind of floating around in my head, but it was ultimately all iterations of “akira and goro have some sort of argument but not in a horny way” at the end of the fic.

so a whole good chunk of the fic was written with an argument ending (essentially B-side) in mind: i wrote the scene in the jazz club with that in mind, as well as the strains in the fic about akira feeling like akechi was the one person he could be honest with, and a bunch of stuff about how much both akechi and akira appreciated and depended on each other to disagree with them.

but by the time i had gotten all my sections in order and written them back to november 2019, when the reunion was supposed to take place, i felt... really weird about the B-side ending. i’d basically dug my own grave, because i’d written 16k of akira slowly realizing that maybe he had to let akechi go after all, and the original ending didnt make any sense. and it felt really weird as an ending for the same reason i scrapped the original premise: it seemed like bad form to play into the idea that they’d reunite and everything would turn out alright, especially after all that time of akira imagining ridiculous and unrealistic lovesick daydreams. it doesnt make any sense to have a story about akira daydreaming and then end with more daydreaming.

*through gritted teeth* so i. had to put on my big boy pants. and admit. that i’d written myself into a corner. and i was narratively obligated. by virtue of pushing back against akira’s silly daydreams. to write an ending. where shuake. does NOT resolve everything. and instead. *grits teeth louder* their reunion goes disastrously. and. they break up. and. *grits teeth loudest* go their separate ways. for the foreseeable future.

i wrote it and was immediately so fucking devastated with my own ending that i DM’d vintgecassette like oh god please read this thing and tell me what you think of the end (please tell me that there is another option) and she was like “no actually this ending makes sense. im crying but it makes sense” to which i dramatically fell upon my knees and had to accept that i’d written SEVENTEEN THOUSAND WORDS about shuake reuniting after royal only to have them IMMEDIATELY BREAK UP.

i hated it instantly. i talked to kat about it some more and told her about the other ending ideas i had, and somewhere in that conversation she said that the B-side ending sounded actually really cool, since there was already lots of good foreshadowing for the ending set in place, and also because goddamn if anyone should open up a bit, it’d be akira “i dont talk about my feelings” kurusu. (again, i wrote most of the fic intending for the B-side to be the ending, so it made sense.) so i was like owo? and pulled all my scrapped content for the B-side back out of the Trash and started reworking it purely out of spite for the A-side, despite the fact that the A-side existed in the first place as a pushback against the B-side.

i think this is a very longwinded way of saying that i posted both endings because i thought both of them, if by itself, was just ridiculous. a sad ending like A-side felt like meaningless sad feelings unless there was a universe where things could have been better. B-side felt unrealistic without acknowledging that things could and maybe should have turned out for the worse. of course, this is just how the endings game to be written, and i think the effect they have is more complicated--ive read some really cool comments on what people feel and think about the endings, and i think all those interpretations all extremely cool and extremely valid.

tldr, i dont actually know how to write and everything was a mistake. thanks for the ask, im sorry again this is so long 😔

ask for the director’s cut on a fic i’ve written

[pwnyta]

Full Endgame spoilers/review:

(TL;DR: It was really fucking good. Theres some bad obviously but overall worth it. Even after reading the spoilers and feeling like I may not like it as much as I thought I would... I actually liked it more.)

- - So as I said I loved the movie I had some gripes but overall I thought it was one hell of a fun, entertaining movie. I'll go by each characters story in my review saving Cap and Tony for last.

Natasha- Honestly? Though I think the MCU dropped the ball on the 0G6 being a believable family... I think Nats role in this movie was sweet. I really like the scene where Tony Nat and Bruce were laying down talking about Strange and the stones. It was really cute but it really made me wish we got to see this earlier. Joss dropped the ball hard in AoU. Ive said it one and I'll say it again. AoU should have been the movie where the Avengers were a solid unit throughout the movie.Nats death was... heroic but honestly her and Clint beating the shit out of each other because neither could stand the thought of the other being sacrificed was kinda funny and cute which is jarring to the story. It kinda sucks that she was fridged before the final battle though.

Clint- What are the fucking odds that every one of his family was dusted? But w/e. Clint having a wild sword battle in Japan... it was ridiculous and weird and IDK what they were thinking with that scene but it was played really dramatically but I laughed? Cuz it was so over the top and silly... even though he just slit that guys throat and Nats like :c Clint~ honey no its fine... and they hold hands over the guys warm corpse. LMFAO WHAT!? Im at least happy his kids got him back if nothing else.

Bruce- ... Bruce with Hulks big green body? NICE. Thats gonna have some interesting fanart I can already tell and I lift my glass to you. I once tried to draw a little comic where Bruce and Hulk separated but also had swapped bodies.... so Bruce had Hulks body but I never did finish it I wonder if I still have it saved somewhere. Anyways. Honestly? I found Bruce in this movie to be equal parts funny and annoying? Like it was a bit jarring sometimes that he was so lighthearted despite everything.

Thor- When I read the spoilers I thought I was gonna really dislike Thor but watching it I understood where Thor was coming from and I couldnt really blame him for spiraling and its not like anyone close to him seemed to even check up on him despite clearly knowing where he was. Im really sad that it took all those years and only until he was needed for someone to try and talk Thor through what he was going through. Im not annoyed with Thor. Im annoyed with the rest of them (minus Tony and I guess Clint? Considering.). Bruce was his friend in Ragnarok, Nat keeps talking about them being family, and Steve is their leader where the hell were they? Unless im missing something... I guess Valkyrie too but shes been picking up his slack as a leader and was holding the Asgardians together so I can cut her some slack. ANYWAYS. Thor was kinda funny in the movie but it was kind of hard to enjoy his goofiness. It kind felt like Tony in IM2. Speaking of Im glad Tony seemed really tolerant of Thors drunk behavior... I was sure he would throw a lot of shots like Rocket did. I wish they had a moment to talk about Thor self medicating with booze... Tonys been there. I get why they couldnt really but.. His scene with Frigga was really nice. Frigga is a bad bitch raised by witches and shit.... she knows all~ A wise woman that Frigga.

Scott- HOLY SHIT Did I love Scott in this movie. He was soo funny and cute... and bullied a lot. You know I have a thing for easily bulliable character. And Scott just got spanked left and right. His helpless goofiness reminded me of Harry from KKBB a little. He bounced off everyone well and it makes me kinda wish he was one of the OG6 instead of Clint. He was more of the heart that kept the Avengers together than anyone. Also him and Tony talking about Caps ass? HILARIOUS. Bisexual icons honestly. 'That suit did nothing for your ass.' 'No one asked you to look!' 'I think you look great Cap as far as Im concerned thats Americas ass!' and then later Caps all 'That IS Americas ass.' Unbelievable. But his best scene is still him reuniting with Cassie. She was so big! Im so happy she got her dad back... but Bruces failed time travel machine scene.... that was a close second. 'Somebody peed my pants... idk if it was baby me or old me........ or me me.' Also the 'whats up regular sized man' scene is longer and more hilarious than the preview showed. FUCK YOUR TACO SCOTT. At least Bruce is nice to him. I ship GreenAnt a little. Rocket petting Scott and mockingly calling him a puppy. SAME.

Rhodey- JESUS RHODEY. Speaking of hilarious idiots. Im glad he got a bigger roll in this movie but he didnt hug Tony when he got back so whats the point? BUT W/E... He was hilarious and amazing. It was nice to see him step up as one of the sorta leaders after the snappening. But he was also A HUGE FUCKING DORK THE ENTIRE WAY THROUGH. Thinking that a secret cavern with a spooky name would be boobytrapped like in Indiana Jones and trying to convince Nebula to be careful. Naming a bunch of shitty time travel movies to prove a point about time travel (with Scotts help) and going back in time to kill baby Thanos...and Bruce was like 'yeah... no...' and him fucking TRASHING the magic of the iconic opening scene of the first GotG where Quill is dancing.... 'so hes an idiot?' RHODEY PLEEEEAAASSSEEEE have mercy. Him and Nebula are a trip. Also I made a note to mention Don Cheadles BEAUTIFUL soft voice. So here it is. I love Don Cheadles beautiful soft voice. He had too few scenes with Tony but their first scene when Tony starts freaking out and hes trying to get Tony to calm down was pretty good... and god that ending.... ;-; How come Rhodey got NO lines while Tony was dying? But also in the same position I dont think Id have any words either. I too would just cry. And did... for Tony. But yeah besides his lack of scenes with Tony I really loved Rhodeys scenes. I usually do. Hes adorable.

Nebula: Sweetie... You are just amazing. Shes legit one of the best most solid characters in the movie. The opening scenes between her and Tony? FUCKING adorable. Im sad we dont see more of them after the time skip. I also wish we got a longer scene of Neb and Rocket talking when she gets to earth... I guess just seeing them sit together sadly was enough to portray the emotions but.... I MEAN. More Nebula wouldnt hurt anyone. Having to see two tortured versions of Nebula was upsetting. Future Nebula who lost so much and past Nebula still under Thanos' thumb. 'You can change!' 'He wont let me' OOF. Im sad that past Nebula was killed... but appreciate that even in that moment past Gamora was upset to see her be killed. Im glad with Present Neb, Gamora was so easily heel-face turned. She loves her sister. Also their moment after past Gamora beats up present Quill was hilarious 'Really? This is the guy?' 'The choices were him or a tree.' WHAT ABOUT DRAX, NEBULA?! I know I said I may not watch any MCU movies after this but I might tune in for GotG3 for Nebula (and Thor).

Steve: I actually ENJOYED Steve in this movie for the most part. For the first time in any movie... even by himself I kind of enjoyed Steve. Especially the scene when hes fighting himself and his past self says 'I can do this all day' and hes like 'Tst... yeah I know... okay' Like he was sick of his own damn bullshit. And frankly? Same. Also him whispering 'Hail hydra' to get the scepter? Hilarious. I cant help but see it as a knock at that shitty Hydra Cap comic that everyone hated. But despite me enjoying Steve for most of the film... the MCUs inability to write a good romance and pretending like Steve and Peggys relationship was a peak or something completely undoes it all. It would still NOT BE GREAT regardless but the fact the RUSSOS are the ones who brought Sharon into TWS in the first place makes it SO MUCH WORSE that Steve dipped out. Steve should have moved on... even if it wasnt with Sharon. They could have at least MENTIONED HER but they knew they couldnt because then it would be too highlighted that Steve is a fucking FUCK BOY who used the niece of the woman he loved as a surrogate and that him going back to the past means hes gonna be meeting little Sharon at some point. Also? Really? Steve you have this whole new family you supposedly love and can live your life with but you rather go back in the past because the first woman who was nice to you was there? Move on. Its so fucking weird that hes so obsessed with her. You have your childhood friend and the rest of your new friends... and supposedly a girlfriend. IDK how anyone could be happy with that ending for him. But I guess its in character... remember the note he sent Tony 'I've been on my own since I was 18.' What about Bucky? He was there with you and you had family in the Avengers supposedly. Natasha seemed to think so. YOURE SUCH A FUCKIN SCUMBAG STEVE. Jesus.

Tony: First of all Id just LOVED his scenes with Nebula as I said. He sat there patiently teaching how to play paper football and held her win. It was REALLY cute. When he passed out she picked him up off the floor and sat him down on the chair and pat him. REAL CUTE. He nicknamed her 'The Blue Meanie' its cute and he tried to give her the last of their food but she insisted he eat it. Bobbos eyes never looked more gorgeous than in that scene where Carol finds them honestly. Tonys I told you so was really really sad. It had a lot of feeling like that scene in AoU when he laughs hysterically and starts ranting? Rhodey tried to calm him down but he just ripped into Cap. Also he yanked off his arc reactor and I FULLY JUMPED IN PANIC because I forgot it wasnt in him. I fully flinched. But he pulled his heart out and gave it to Steve and then passed out. Tony and Peppers daughter is ADORABLE. And her interactions with Tony are so sweet. Domestic Tony is lovely. I love that when Steve and the gang roll up on him Morgan runs out during their discussion and is like 'Mom told me to come and save you....' and hes like 'Well Ive been saved!' REAL CUTE. Also he swore and his daughter copied him and hes like NOOOOO!!!!!!! LMAO. LANGUAGE Tony. Tony is motivated to fix things seeing that pic of him and Peter. Hes such a softie. IM REALLY REALLY SAD that we finally see Pepper kinda GET Tonys need to be Iron Man and is like 'But could you rest?'. The one time she encourages him to go back to be Iron Man and he fucking DIES. Im so sad for Pepper. But that scene between them where shes like 'We'll be ok.... you can rest now.' FUCK. Im crying again. That scene between him and Steve- 'Someone shoula warned you~' 'You did...' 'Oh did I? Thank god Im here' has the same energy as 'Who taught you how to dance?' 'You did.' 'Well Ive done a marvelous job!' It was pretty great. Tonys nicknames for Scott are 'Pissant' and 'Thumbelina.' Im not OVERLY fond of his scenes with Howard. But honestly? My brother is the same way with our dad... he just chooses to forget the bad stuff and focus on the few good times. I cant do that but if it made Tony happier then VERY WELL. I wish Tony coulda talked to Jarvis too tho... just a word... anything? Best Tony scene is Peter babbling about how he musta passed out because Tony was gone and and and and Tony just hugs him so tightly and Peters hugs back and is like :D 'this is nice'! Though that STARK contrast of them after Tony uses the gauntlet... and Peter is like 'Mr Stark... we won... we did it... no Mr Stark...' Big Simba and Mufasa feels (and kind of Hughes and Elicia tbh). Not cool Disney. I was already crying. Rhodey was the first to reach Tony and Tony couldnt say ANYTHING to anyone and Rhodey just pets his cheek... Tony was just looking around as his family just has to watch helplessly as hes dying and Pepper tells him its ok. His funeral was really nice. He recorded a message for everyone kind of like his message for Pepper on the ship. Everyone was there... I think even Harley (Im really sad we didnt see them get reunited even once). The scene with Happy and Morgan was really sweet. 'I'll buy all the cheeseburgers you want....' It was cool to because... ya know.... Jon Favreau. He got a really beautiful end. I wish he could just retire and live with Pep and Morgan... but if he had to die... that was a really lovely sendoff. SO ALL IN ALL. Awesome movie. I didnt get to see past elderly Steve passing the shield off to Sam... I'll have to rewatch it again when theres a better version. Especially for that fucking STUNNING end battle. Even with the shitty cam I watched it looked AMAZING and I cant wait for it in HD.

[the-static-and-i]

Star-lit Date Night

//Hey yall, so depression has been kicking my ass and I dont know how to write whump without it being my/Sam's fault in some way, which is one of my big triggers, so I'm gonna pause on those for a hot sec and just write some fluff, because I need that so bad rn. I'm sorry about the prompts, I'll get to those as soon as I hate myself a little less, but for now just enjoy the kinda badly written gay cliche

TW: Gay panic, brief mention of not eating or sleeping much, mention of medicine, kinda suggestive talk.

Sam hadnt stopped telling everyone about this girl she had met since ten minutes after meeting her, which was three weeks ago now. If she wasnt texting her, she was infodumping everything about her to Kat or Sofia or occassionally Jackie and Nic when they were free and up for listening, and if she wasnt doing that, she was daydreaming about kissing her and moving in together, she had even planned their wedding.

Ren tried to keep her in check, so she didnt talk everyone's ears off about some girl they hadnt even met, but even she had to admit she was smitten with her too.

Of course, Ren didnt allow herself to talk to this girl, aware that there would be questions that she couldnt answer with a clear conscious. But she could at least admit she was gorgeous, and Sam's dramatic exaggerations of her beauty werent that far off, or were at least deserved.

They had finally gotten into a point in their friendship where Sam felt comfortable enough to blurt out that she liked her as more than a friend, and as they waited in an increasingly awkward silence, she and Ren decided that no matter what happened, they were glad to have met her.

Dani had responded positively, though! She liked Sam back, and wanted to get to know her more, so she invited Sam on a date on Friday night.

So she acquired permission for Sofia's car, and then waited in an anxious ball for the next two days to pass by. She barely slept and barely ate, only remembering to take her meds because of her alarms and Kat's gentle reminders.

Finally, Friday morning rolled around.

Ren took them to the bathroom, showering and shaving and curling their hair and washing their face with 13 different products, finally finishing with some "light" makeup.

Sam hated it, wanting to scratch at her nose and cheeks and forehead, but knew it would just mess up Ren's hard work. Admittedly, she looked pretty, and Ren's skill was impressive.

They left the bathroom in a towel, giving an awkward smile to Kat as she headed out of the cabin.

Arriving in their room, Sam realized she had to actually get dressed, but didnt know what the fuck to wear. She didnt wanna get out of the towel dress, didnt wanna wear pants or shorts or, gods forbid, a skirt.

So, the only option was a dress.

She had a few, and she liked most of them, but a couple were Ren's, and those were on the downward side of her "like" spectrum.

This is when Ren started stirring again, coaxing Sam to at least try on a few of hers, just to see how they looked with her hair and face all dolled up.

Sam decided to humor her, trying on three before finding one of Ren's she did actually like; a black long sleeve dress with a short skater skirt, and weird ass hole patterns along the whole thing. Weird patterns aside, it was a gorgeous dress, and hugged her body in some pretty flattering ways.

She kept it on, hanging up the other dresses and doing a quick spin in front if the mirror.

Oh yeah, this was a good dress; the skirt flared up and twirled around her, probably showing off her ass a little, but she would put on those dress short things that hide your underwear and call it good.

Despite how happy she was with the dress, there was a new one she got that she honestly loved, and had been waiting for an excuse to wear for a few weeks now.

So she slipped off the black dress carefully, pulling on the dark blue one instead, the pink and peach flowers catching her eye in the mirror immediately. She slipped her hands in the pockets and spun, flaring the dress manually. Even if she had to put work in, the action still made her smile, and she decided this one looked pretty too.

Ren sighed quietly, saying that they were both pretty but the black one was a little nicer, yeah?

Sam groaned, honestly unsure which she preferred. A quick glance at the clock told her that she didn't have a whole lot of time to debate, so she bit her lip and decided to get third party opinion.

Remembering Kat had just left though, her heart started beating faster in a small panic. She grabbed her phone and pulled open her messages, seeing the last person she talked to was Nic!

He would know how to do the date thing, right? I mean, he got the only person as cool as him, so he had to at least be able to advise her for clothes right? Fuck, she hoped so.

She snapped a quick picture of the blue dress while it was still on, quickly pulling it off and putting the black one back on.

Taking a picture of that too, she gathered both and sent them to him, captioning it "Fashion emergency, Ren and I cant decide what to wear for our, my? Date tonight!! Mind helping a little?"

She sent off the message, twirling for a second in the dress again, habitually reaching for pockets that werent there and frowning a little. She didnt dwell on lost pockets though, going back to her closet and pulling out different shoes.

If he picked the black one, would she wear heels or boots? Flats maybe? Not boots, for sure, but I have 4 pairs of black flats and 3 different heels.

Okay, fuck that, what about if he picks blue? I have 2 pairs of blue flats, plus a pair of blue heels, and any of the black shoes would be cute probably.

Sam groaned, quickly realizing she had far too many shoes, and she was completely hopeless with fashion stuff.

Luckily, she wasnt alone with her indecisiveness; Nic responding with a comment about how pretty she looked and how happy he was for her, finishing off by saying that her hair accented the blue one in a really pretty way.

Sam squealed and set her phone down, sliding the dress on and examining herself, brushing some setting power off of the chest and brushing down the skirt a little, finishing by fluffing her hair a tiny bit.

Yeah, she looked good.

She grabbed a pair of comfy blue shoes and a pair of cute heels that she could totally walk in if Ren was fronting, snapping pics of them on her bed and sending both to Nic, saying "You're a fucking lifesaver and I preesh you. Would you mind if I asked for one more?"

His response was quicker, "Go for more comfortable in case you're out for a while. Dont wanna cut tonight short cause your feet hurt!"

Sam laughed a little, enjoying the implications that Dani would actually enjoy her presence enough to want to hang out past dinner.

Still, she slipped on some small socks and the flats, floofing the hem of the skirt in front of the mirror again. Dad made the right call, and she was fucking rocking the look.

She took a better quality picture, showing off the whole look to Nic, writing a quick, "You're a fucking god and thank you so much!! Love you, dad :D"

She didnt wait for a reply, putting her phone into a sorta-matching bag and making sure she had her wallet and keys in it. Finally, she was ready, and ahead of schedule!

She left the cabin quick, making it to the car and driving off without incident.

30 minutes later, she was in the restaurant checking to see if Dani had already been seated. The host led her back to Dani's table, the latter standing up and pulling Sam into a hug before pulling away.

"You look stunning, Jesus Christ.." Sam blushed, stuttering out a small thank you and reciprocating the compliment.

Dani was fucking gorgeous, wearing fancy pants and a nice top, with a complementing jacket draped over the back of her chair.

They parted completely, Dani stepping back and pulling Sam's chair out, coming around to sit again after she pushed Sam in too.

They ordered drinks, neither of them getting anything alcoholic, and then food quickly, only quiet small talk shared as they decided.

Once the menus were taken though, Dani started firing off random questions that Sam struggled to answer, the questions getting more ridiculous as they went; "What would you name a pet dolphin?", "If you could name your super-sidekick, what would you pick?", "Who came to mind when I said super-sidekick?"

Eventually they were both giggling and laughing, Dani not holding back with her head tilted back and a big grin on her face, and Sam keeping herself quiet by biting her lip, also suppressing her own grin.

Their food came, and they made more small talk while they ate, learning small things about each other that Sam loved knowing; Dani loved shellfish but hated other seafood, and her first dog was named Popcorn, and her first girlfriend was in the 7th grade, and they kissed on their first anniversary.

Dani didnt push when Sam frowned at the mention of first girlfriends, avoiding the subject by instead asking her favorite sport, and if she had ever been skiing, and what her favorite halloween costume was.

By the time they finally finished dinner, including a relatively small dessert that they shared, it was 11 pm, and they didnt want to go their separate ways just yet.

So they split the bill and took their leave, heading a block over to the nearest park. Sam started shivering as they walked, but she pursed her lips and ignored it, bracing herself against the breeze that was colder than she was expecting.

Dani stopped in front of the intersection, not even hitting the crosswalk button before taking her jacket off and draping it over Sam's shoulders.

Only then did Sam realize Dani was so fucking tall. Like, she was 5'4, Dani was at least a whole head taller, with slightly broader shoulders and such big fucking arms.

Distracting herself quickly, she slipped her arms into the warm jacket while Dani hit the button.

The jacket was so fucking big on her, naturally. The sleeves went past her hands, the bottom edge coming down past her butt, and the shoulders were already sliding down her, well, shoulders.

Dani wrapped her arm around Sam, keeping the jacket upright and also keeping their warmth closer to their bodies.

They crossed into the park, still entwined and cuddling, both content to walk around in the quiet night for a while.

Sam glanced up at the sky, doing a double take as she saw the big moon and bright stars.

Slowly, she started asking Dani about how much she knew about space, sharing little facts and tidbits that she knew, until Dani asked her to share more. She took the jacket off after a moment of hesitation, laying it on the grass and sitting down on it, patting the space next to her so Dani could sit.

She complied, even following when Sam laid back fully, listening quietly but enthralled as Sam pointed out constellations and planets and even a couple satellites that they noticed passing by.

Dani entwined their hands, looking over at Sam with a small smile. She didnt notice the gaze, still caught up in telling the story behind one of the many constellations she had loved learning about. Dani couldnt help but smile with her as her shy smile grew into a big grin that she didnt even hide the longer she talked.

Sam finally tired herself out, looking over at Dani with her smile returned to its shy, apologetic size. She leaned forward before Sam could speak, kissing her shoulder gently.

"You're really smart, and you clearly know your stuff about this. I love hearing you talk about the stars and space and everything involved with that, Sam. And thank you for sharing," Sam was shocked, her mouth opening a little, like she wanted to protest but though better of it. Dani gave her a small but genuine smile, squeezing her hand gently.

Sam squeezed back, whispering a quiet "Thank you," before nuzzling her forehead onto Dani's shoulder, hiding her face and her slightly-visible smile.

When she pulled away, she caught Dani's eye, both of them refusing to look away. Her hair was a forest green but looked so much lighter under the moon, and San wanted to run her fingers through it.

Dani was a step ahead of her, turning onto her side and releasing Sam's hand so she could pull her into a hug. Her forehead was pressed against Dani's collarbone, but she was so comfortable and felt so safe already.

After everything, she could use a little safe.

So she hugged Dani back, looping their legs together and holding her close, and they stayed like that until the sprinklers turned on.

They both grabbed their shit and ran out of the park, dripping wet and laughing, Sam doubled over by the time they reached the outer sidewalk.

Dani gasped for breath, glancing over at Sam before another laughing fit erupted from her. In the midst of her own fit, Sam barely registered that she wanted to hear Dani laugh like this more often.

The puddles beneath them grew as they slowly calmed down, Dani still letting out quiet giggles every so often, while Sam was just smiling big and proud.

"Your hair still looks beautiful, this is unfair, you're like a goddess or something!" Sam froze, looking over at Dani as she spoke. Her hair was falling into her face, whatever she had used to make it stand up clearly not being waterproof.

"Y-your hair is absolutely gorgeous, and you're rocking the whole.. messy hair vibe. Like, shit, you're so fucking pretty, I could actually ki-" Sam cut off, her eyes widening a little.

Its not that she didnt wanna kiss Dani, but she didnt want her to feel obligated to, I mean it was their first date, and they were both probably cold, and she was getting closer, why was she getting closer?

Dani rested her hands on Sam's shoulder and cheek, giving her a second to pull away before pressing their lips together.

Sam's hands flailed at her sides, before Ren placed them on Dani's hips and kissed her back. Sam came back in control, her eyes sliding shut in near bliss. Dani’s lips were soft and warm, and her hands were playing with Sam’s hair. 

They parted slowly, Dani meeting Sam’s eyes with a small smile. 

“You kiss good,” Were Sam’s first words, barely a whisper as her eyes flicked between Dani’s and her lips. Dani laughed a little, leaning over and kissing Sam’s cheek quickly. 

“You kiss good too. And thanks, Sam,” She was still smiling, and it had Sam smiling back. They stood there for a moment in silence, until Dani spoke up again, “Youre still shivering, do you want to call it a night?”

No, she really didnt, but she was really cold, and she had to take her meds before bed, lest she wake up like an asshole or have nightmares or both. 

She sighed, not knowing how to explain any of that without sounding fucking psychotic, so she simply nodded a little. “’m sorry”

“Hey, no need to apologize, i get it, its 2 am and we both have class tomorrow, its all good. You had fun tonight though?” Dani hooked her arm through Sam’s, guiding them back towards the restaurant and where they had parked. 

Sam blinked in surprise at the time, but didnt comment on it, instead answering, “This has been the best night ive had in.. ever? Its been so much fun just talking with you, and hanging out, and just.. being with you. Youre so sweet and funny and patient, and i.. really hope we can do this again sometime soon?”

Dani smiled, swinging their hands between them as she nodded rapidly. “Id be so down for that, and we can go out earlier than today? Just so we arent out all night?”

Sam nodded, looking up at Dani nervously, “Fuck yeah, or we could like.. i dunno, set up something so we spend the night together..?” 

“Sam Kyle, are you implying-”

“No!! No, not like that!!!!” Dani started laughing again as Sam covered her face with her free hand.

When Dani calmed down again, they had reached the parking lot and stopped walking. “I wouldnt mind having a sleepover though, with or without that.” She said with a fond smile. 

“That.. yeah, fuck yeah, how bout we plan something in the morning?” Dani agreed, and they shared another small kiss before going their separate ways. 

Sam walked quietly into the cabin, sure Kat would be asleep by now. She shot a quick text to Dani telling her that she arrived safely, getting one a few minutes later saying the same. They said their thank you’s and good night’s, before Sam noticed she still had Dani’s jacket on. 

She snorted as she saw herself in the mirror, flapping the sleeves briefly before deciding she did still look cute in it; the color even matched the flowers on her dress! 

She took one last picture, and went to send it to Nic, finally seeing that he had wished her good luck before she even left for the date, and had sent another message asking about how it went. With a small smile, she hit send on the photo, the caption a long ramble about how much fun they had and that they were planning another one soon. 

He responded with a small joke about the comfortable shoes, before saying how happy he was that she was moving on and finding some happy of her own. 

They talked for another few minutes while Sam took her meds, got changed into pjs and washed off the makeup, saying good night’s of their own before she laid down to finally sleep, after three very long, anxious days. 

She cuddled close to Peter, her amethyst necklace around his bear neck, bidding goodnight to the stars around her room and both her dads, finally having a completely dreamless night’s sleep. 

[i-beg-your-parsons]

[Shreya] wasn’t in last week’s chapter, so have a fic (#1)

Relationship: Shreya Mistry/F!MC (Celestine Leblanc)

Count: 1775 words

So I’ve decided that I’m going to make this a series where I update this whenever a character (in this case, Shreya) is swept under the rug (so am I updating this every week, multiple times then? Who knows! 🙃). It’ll be good practice for me to get back into writing. But maybe not every week exactly, I’m starting my undergraduate thesis lol.

Apologies if they’re OOC, especially Aster? (She’s good friends with Shreya in this fic!!) I haven’t tried writing them much and it’s been a while since I did a fic lmao. Hope you peeps like!! Let me know if you want to be tagged for subsequent ones.

This uses the following prompts:

“My cat is more sassy than you’ll ever be.”

“Watch out! I can’t slow down! Move! Move! Move!”

“Am I good at skateboarding? Pfffft! Of course I am!”

Tags: @jellymonster, @deeohno, @coolios-beanios, @h-doodles

__

“Watch out! I can’t slow down!” 

Shreya is startled by a panicked voice, almost dropping her hand mirror on the sidewalk. She whirls toward the direction of the sound. What the - 

“Lady, please move, move, move!!” A blur of blue, red, and brown was hurtling towards her before her brain could really process anything. They make a sharp turn, just barely brushing her skirt, so thankfully she avoided being pummelled into the wall. Her three-inch heels, however, threw her off balance, making her stumble into a large potted shrub situated outside the facade of Maison D’Yew. 

Wonderful. How fucking elegant.

“Oh my stars, are you hurt?” A feminine voice calls out to her, presumably partially responsible for what had just transpired. Shreya inwardly huffs to rein in her annoyance. It would be extremely unsightly for a Mistry to throw a tantrum. At times like these, she was thankful for those dry etiquette lessons her parents made her take when she was seven. 

“I-It’s quite alright! I didn’t get hurt; just much too close and personal with this plant,” Shreya assures worried girl in her haughty ‘humble’ voice. 

(Well, something had to channel her anger. The thick branch digging into her back was not helping keep her head cool.)

She could feel the girl’s slender hands firmly grip her arms and try to pull her up. It was gentle and slow, but jagged twigs were poking her everywhere, “Ow, ow, ow!”

The sounds of her distress halt the girl from pulling her, but she still kept her grip. Her voice sounded more apologetic, if it was even possible, “I am so, so sorry! I told Zeph it was stupid to try riding the broom like a skateboard, but he didn’t really care because he said it would look cool.”

Everything was so fast and panicked and ridiculous that Shreya couldn’t help the wild giggles that bubbled up her throat as she nodded, “I can definitely vouch for the fact that it was stupid.”

Shreya could hear the girl grin, “Nice to know someone sides with me.”

A comfortable lull settles over them before the girl clears her throat. “Maybe I could try magicking you out?”

She seemed capable enough, so Shreya finds that she doesn’t mind. 

“OK, go for it.”

Flashes of green and brown lights from the Wood magick circle peek through the gaps between the leaves obscuring Shreya’s vision. Slowly, the twigs and leaves retract, revealing the face of her saviour as she leaned closer to pull her up by the shoulders.

And fuck: She was exactly Shreya’s type.

The blonde had her eyebrows furrowed in panicked worry as she gently picked off leaves that had gotten into Shreya’s hair and clothes. “Again, I am so sorry. I’ll be sure to give Zeph hell for dragging you into this.”

Shreya could feel the warmth creeping up into her cheeks and the tips of her ears. Her touch was so soothing. “It’s no problem. Is he going to be okay?”

The girl’s face scrunches up at the concern for Zeph. “Yes, probably… I think.” She opens one pale blue eye to find that Shreya was still looking at her, waiting for… what exactly? 

A furious blush colours the girl’s pale cheeks.

“I… should probably go make sure he’s okay. Have a good day, miss!” The blonde turns at the direction Zeph went off and starts at a sprint. It was only then that Shreya sprung into action, hurriedly calling out to the blonde before she left, “M-my name’s Shreya! What’s your name?!”

The blonde doesn’t look back at her, but she yells, “Celestine! See you around!”

—

“So that’s why Aoi was so grumpy when we stepped out,” Aster chuckles as she sipped her sencha tea. They’d been friends for a while, as Shreya was a regular at Maison D’Yew, despite having people who could easily run the errands for her at Mistry manor. Whether it was just a Shreya thing, or an excuse to visit Aster, the wood nymph didn’t mind. 

It was always nice to see one of her only friends.

“For what it’s worth, I apologised to Aoi the shrub before I went inside the shop,” Shreya offers. “And besides, it wasn’t all that terrible.” Her face warms at the memory of the girl — Celestine, she reminds herself — and the concern she showed for her. Shreya absently stares at the steam coming off her drink, remembering the blonde’s delicate blue eyes which were, fittingly enough, the colour of a strontium sulphate mineral, celestine. 

Her parents must be familiar with Attuneless science. I should ask her next time.

Silence descends over the two girls as Shreya spaced out and Aster observed her. She blows at her tea again, before taking a sip. “So when are you going to see her again?”

Shreya almost spills her hot drink and shoots Aster an incredulous look. The green-skinned girl pauses with a blank look of her own and blinks, before giggling as she realises her friend’s thought process.

“For the last time, I can’t read your mind unless you’re a plant. I just know what you look like when you’re excited about something.”

Shreya grips her mug a little tighter, in an attempt to fight down her worsening blush. Aster continues to observe her reactions over her cup of tea. “Or someone, in this case.”

“… She was really cute, okay?”

Aster can’t fight off the grin on her face. Checkmate.

She reaches out a woody hand to pry off Shreya’s own from her grip on the hot cocoa and pats her friend’s manicured nails. They were painted a deep crimson today. “You should ask her out.”

Shreya sighs, “But what if she’s not into girls? I don’t want her to be uncomfortable.”

Aster tilts her head slightly and blinks. It wasn’t like the heiress to resign herself to the possibility that the girl she was interested in identified as heterosexual. “But what if she is? And more importantly,” Aster leans into her friend’s personal space to whisper in her ear. 

“What if she’s into you?”

Shreya jerks back from her friend, clamping a hand over her ear. She shivers like she was just put under a shower of ice cold water. She narrows her eyes are the wood nymph as she tries to calm her breathing. “Why are you being so cheeky today, Ass?”

Aster simply shrugs with a pleasant smile. “One of us has to bring the cheek to move the conversation along. It’s obviously not going to be you, what with this smitten state you’re in.”

Shreya rolls her eyes, “Spare me; my cat’s sassier than you.”

Aster blinks, “You don’t have a cat.”

Shreya throws up her hands in exasperation, “That’s the point!”

The two continue to lock gazes in a contest of wills: Shreya with a piercing glare, and Aster with an amused sparkle. The competition was intense, as if the winner would have their argument proven right.

“Zeph, slow down! You might bump into someone again!”

Shreya’s attention immediately strays to the voice. Could it be…?

“No can do, Leblanc! Those croissants might get sold out!” A voice, presumably Zeph, answers as the front door of the café is slammed open by said male. “Hannah, my bro! Two croissants on the double!”

The short-haired blonde at the register rolls her eyes before shaking her head. “Alright, Denim. But sit your ass down, okay?”

Zeph flamboyantly stands at attention, before giving a dramatic salute. “Roger that, Pixie cut!”

“You’re being way too dramatic,” Celestine steps into the shop, putting her hair up in a ponytail, presumably to cool herself off from running after Zeph. Her hair tie is held between her lips, giving Shreya the perfect excuse to look at them.

Celestine seems to notice the stares directed at her, as her gaze connects with Shreya’s. Her eyes light up in recognition, and her hand immediately comes up to wave at the Fire-Att. 

“Why hello, Shreya! Fancy seeing you again,” Celestine walks over to their table, then rocks back and forth on her heels as she stands.

Shreya brings up a had to wave back, feeling the clamminess that had suddenly developed. “Hi, Celestine. I’m usually here every Saturday with my friend Aster here.” She gestures to Aster, who was absolutely buzzing with excitement. The flowers in her hair were blooming.

“As she said, my name is Aster and it’s so wonderful to meet you, Celestine. Shreya was just telling me about the incident this morning with my Hydrangea macrophylla, Aoi.” The wood nymph managed to get up from her seat and move towards Celestine within that sentence to grasp and shake the girl’s pale hand with her pliant fingers. “He’s thankful for your wood magick because it fixed the branches Shreya broke when she fell into him.”

Celestine draws a blank look, before looking over to Shreya for help. The heiress simply nods, but what does that even mean? She decides that it’s better to play along. “Well, he’s very welcome. I didn’t get the chance to tell him that his flowers were a very beautiful shade of blue.”

“Honestly, Aster, how many times do I have to apologise?” Shreya complains from her seat on the table.

Aster grins at Celestine’s response while pointedly ignoring Shreya, “I’ll be sure he gets the message.” She stares meaningfully into the confused blonde’s eyes, bringing up a hand to hover over the other girl’s cheek. Celestine can feel the coolness of her skin, a plant-like material that felt much like the stem of a flower. Her eyes suddenly darken into a tar-black, seeping into the veins of her translucent skin, “It’s not often that you find humans — Attuned, especially — who care as much for plants.”

Sensing the newcomer’s shock and exponentially growing discomfort, Shreya interrupts. “Hey, uhm, Celestine, would you guys like to sit with us?”

And just as suddenly, Aster is back from her Branching, “That’s a wonderful idea!” She moves to pull out the chair next to Shreya (and if it ends up skewed a little too close to her friend’s seat, well, Aster doesn’t know anything about that).

“I’ll go ahead and assist your friend there are the counter. It seems like he’s having a bit of trouble,” Aster points to where Zeph is gesturing wildly in a conversation with Hannah (aka Pixie cut), who was managing the counter. “Don’t eat her up while I’m gone,” she grins at Shreya, who blushed at the insinuation, but kept her cool this time. 

She fires back with a grin of her own.

“I make no promises.”

––

[cordytriestowrite]

(Not So) Platonic Affection

Bucky x Reader

Summary: You and Bucky are finally on good terms after a rough start. But is this really better than it used to be?

Try not to get to distracted by his abs!

Read Part 1 here

More parts to come!

You ended up being the last one down to breakfast the next morning. You almost skipped the meal all together but you knew that would say more about how you were feeling than showing up. So you trudged into the kitchen begrudgingly.

"Morning gorgeous."

It was Bucky who greeted you today. Almost like he was waiting for you to come in. Your cheeks reddened and you hid them behind your hands, feigning rubbing sleep from your eyes.

"Morning gorgeous." Sam mimicked winking at you and pushing Buck's shoulder playfully. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to leave your room.

You sat down in the space between Thor and Rhodey. Thor poured your coffee, earning a small peck on his massive shoulder. With coffee and food in your system you felt less tired. If it weren't for Bucky addressing you directly every once in a while you would have been able to believe last night never happened. And the winking! He winked every time you made eye contact and sometimes he would bite his lip too. It was practically vulgar and you would have totally lost your sanity if not for Sam, sitting right next to Bucky, mirroring his actions and making you smile through your constant blush.

"Alright heroes." Tony cut through the chatter. He sat low in his chair next to Steve, his head leant on the super soldier's bicep and arms across his chest. He was dressed in his usual silk pajamas and sunglasses, but had procured a tooth pick to complete a uniquely Tony Stark style.

"I dont actually have anything to say. Just wanted all eyes on me." He finally admitted when the table had gone silent. With a round of laughs and 'boo's' everyone rose to start go their separate ways for the day.

"Ready to go (Y/N)?" Wanda asked as she reached your side in the hallway. Her hand slipped into yours with a gentle squeeze. You and Wanda usually sparred in the gym after breakfast but so did Sam and Bucky. Breakfast was already enough with those two today.

"Let's go to the weight room," you said hoping she would not question the change in their routine. She smiled and pulled you through to the elevators.

"Is this about Bucky?" She asked in the same tone one would ask about the weather. You choked on nothing and despite knowing you were alone in the elevator you eyes searched the room before responding. You really hoped she wouldnt ask.

"It's weird Wanda." You sigh. You proceed to tell her your conversation from last night. How Bucky confessed he used to like you and how he doesnt anymore and that makes him feel comfortable to treat you lik part of the team. She listened intently and when you stopped talking she stayed silent, lost in her own thoughts.

"Wanda?" You started. You weren't expecting her to tell you everything would be okay. You were kind of expecting her to tell you that you were being ridiculous and overthinking. But you didnt expect silence after all that. Wanda finally looked at you and opened her mouth but it was then the elevator doors opened. Both your attentions were drawn to the movement and you knew your conversation was over, at least for now.

The weight room was usually used by Thor and Steve and today was no exception. But you did not expect the doors to open and reveal Thor lifting an entire weight rack with one hand. Sometimes you forgot he wasnt human. He put the rack down gently when he noticed you.

"Welcome ladies." He called, making Steve aware of your presence. It was rare to see you here voluntarily. You hated weight training and preferred to be flexible and lithe in battle. Leave the heavy lifting for the super soldiers, gods, and Hulk. Now that you were here, being eyed by Steve like a gazelle who stumbled into a lion's den, you weren't sure this was better than facing Bucky.

-

"Come on (Y/N) only 5 more." Steve called encouragingly from the ground below. He had roped you into an upper body workout you desperately needed and had desperately avoided since being shown this room in your welcome tour three months ago. You were currently hanging from slats installed in the roof and only 5 slats away from the ladder that would take you back to safety. You were sweating and shaking and every word the captain threw at you made your jaw clench in agitation.

"Fuck off, Rogers." You shot back for the hundredth time since starting this stupid drill. If at any time you needed to climb roof beams you wouldn't. You can teleport dammit that's what you would do instead of hanging like an idiot from the ceiling. But that didn't matter to Steve.

"Love you too." He sang back for the hundredth time since starting this stupid drill.

You faintly heard the ding of the elevator doors past your own heavy breathing. Five more slats and you could climb down and never use your arms again.

"So this is where you've been hiding." You heard from below you. You didnt need to see him to know Bucky Barnes had not only found you but just called you out on hiding from him in the first place. And worse than that were the giggles of Wanda and Thor who you had last seen doing pull ups. Well Thor was doing pull ups and Wanda was wrapped around his torso as extra weight. Why couldnt you be face to chest with a shirtless god right now?

"Fuck off Barnes." You groaned.

"Only five more." Steve called his reminder.

You didn't look down. Didn't want to see Bucky and Steve below you smiling at your pain. You practically growled your way to the next rung. Then sobbed as you managed to move one more.

"Yes!" You heard Steve's cheer coupled with clapping from all around the room. You smiled to yourself. And made the mistake of looking down.

Right at the base of the ladder you needed to get to was Bucky smiling proudly at you. That is until you made eye contact. You watched in slow motion as his face changed to a dramatic grimace and his hand lifted the hem of his shirt to show his clenched stomach. The surprise of seeing his tan, hard abdominals and silly face cause you to lose focus on your grip and next thing you knew you were falling to the ground below.

This is why if you were stuck dangling from a roof somewhere you would just teleport. Just in case the bad guy was super hot, super fit, and not at all interested in you romantically when you just realized you might be romantically interested in him.

One second you were falling twenty feet down to the ground and the next you were materializing before Bucky, entirely safe but pissed as all hell.

"Fuck you!" You pushed him with the little might you had left in your screaming muscles. The force didn't even push him back and instead of increasing the distance with a push you really only found yourself against his chest.

He was laughing. He hadn't stopped since he had sent you falling. He laughed as he wrapped his arms around your shoulders. He laughed as he pressed his lips to your sweaty forehead.

You wanted to be upset but you were so exhausted. You only found yourself chuckling into Bucky's soft shirt, savoring the closeness and the rumble emitting from his chest.

"Sorry doll." He murmured against your forehead. His laughter had finally subsided into a content warmth that spread from his lips and arms into your tired muscles.

"I forgive you." You muttered. Your eyes struggled to stay open and tethered to reality.

"I need to go," you finally managed to say as you moved your head away from Buck's chest, not realizing until then that his lips were still on your hairline. "I'm gross and exhausted." You further explained when Bucky did not let go of your shoulders and let you walk away.

He removed his metal arm from your body and you expected his real arm to follow suit but it still laid heavily on your back. You pulled away further and looked up at him confused.

The way he was looking at you made your breath stutter in your throat. It was the same look he had toward you last night, like he could stay this way forever. If your heart was not already beating at a dangerous rate it definitely reached a deadly level when you felt his metal thumb brush against your bottom lip. His eyes flicked between your gaze and where his thumb rested.

You had to get out of here. The touching, the looks, the teasing, just about everything to do with Bucky Barnes was becoming too much to bear. You focused the last of your energy on getting away from him and to the safety of your room. Appearing gently on your bed you yet again felt that a part of Bucky still lingered on your skin. You subconsciously licked your bottom lip where his thumb has rested as you finally succumbed to your bodily exhaustion.

@salty-buchanan

[midnight-circus]

another bullshit meme

from sidebloggable

answered for logan and lucius bc i dont talk about my big dumb idiot enough

and im actually gonna answer for their original Fable timeline bc ive been feelin nostalgic recently

Their physical weak spots

Logan - depends on his age and/or stress-levels. He has a fair amount of upper body strength from swinging twin swords around all the fucking time, but it wouldn’t be ridiculously hard to overpower him if you could disarm and get hold of him - however, he’s fast, agile and extremely skilled, and it’s getting hold of him in the first place that’s the issue. In the middle of his reign, on the other hand, his body condition takes a dramatic dive - he’s pretty severely underweight and loses a lot of his muscle tone, and it really wouldn’t take much at all to best him. 

Lucius - Lucius is a big, heavy mercenary who fights with a broadsword, so it’s hard to get the best of him in a one-to-one melee fight. However, he’s missing his left eye and is deaf in his left ear - subsequently if you use a little bit of stealth and come at him hard and fast from the left, you’ve got a pretty good chance of getting the jump on him. He’s also into middle-age and despite having decent reactions, a younger man of the same build as him might just pip him to the post.

Their emotional/moral weak spots

Logan - oh god lmao. Logan’s a mess, but his primary emotional weak spot is his siblings - be they his original two (hey queenie and dorian) or Morgan. I think he feels a bond that’s closer to paternal than fraternal, and I think the only way he can really justify to himself the pain he puts them through is telling himself he’s doing it for them. ok honestly, he will do fucking anything for them. at the climax of the revolution, the primary thought running through his head is how fucking proud he is. be nice if he said it out loud every once a while - hell, itd be nice if he’d just asked for some fuckin help before causing the literal death of hundreds of people - but yknow. thats just going one step too far i guess

Lucius - he’s a bleeding heart. when Morgan and his little band of rebels rock up in the Dweller village, Lucius is already there running supplies up and down the mountain to them; he watches way too many kids starve to death, and joins up with the rebels in order to lead them through Mourningwood. then he gets a crush on morgan’s little bitch face and just like. never leaves lmao. He’s easily blinded by injustice and gets worked up really quickly when he sees wrong being done - it can lead him to act recklessly or thoughtlessly at times.

Scars or painful spots

Logan - asides from the obvious scars across his lips (fencing wounds when he was a boy), he took some nasty damage from the Crawler during the three days he was trapped in the Auroran cave - he’s got a network of scars on his back that look a little like lashmarks. they hurt when they’re touched and he Does Not talk about them. he’s also got a few other scars here and there on his arms and chest from miscellaneous scraps and scuffles, and he has a deep puncture scar on his abdomen from an assassination attempt, but the less said about those the better.

Lucius - lmao Lucius is literally missing half his face to scar-tissue. he was attacked by a dog as a boy and it left him heavily messed-up. he’s also a merc, as i said, so he’s got a lot of miscellaneous old wounds but nothing quite as obvious as the ones his face. 

Best places to kiss on their body

Logan - oh, the neck, bitch. he’s also kind of a slut for being kissed on the insides of his wrists; anywhere vulnerable, basically. if you could kill him there, kiss him there. freak-ass bitch.

Lucius - dude just likes a nice traditional french kiss man nothing crazy. but also definitely give him a blowjob. i know this question said kissing but lets be real thats kind of a kiss.

Guilty pleasures

Logan - he reads really terrible novels. like…really terrible. he pretends he’s reading something highbrow and intellectual but its actually a shitty romance recovered with something suitably acceptable and nobody can know

Lucius - he doesnt have any ‘guilty’ pleasures tbh, he just enjoys stuff unashamedly. he’s too thick to feel guilty

Their vices (physical or emotional)

Logan - lets be real, he’s probably done, like. an impressive amount of coke. i guess the terrible sleeping and eating habits are probably also a vice but like. it’s mainly the coke

Lucius - he smokes like a fuckin chimney

Their tickle spots

Logan - not only does he not have any, but you would also die for trying. Elrick disagrees.

Lucius - his ribs, but he is uncontrollably violent when he’s tickled so its a real good way to get a broken nose. he doesn’t mean to do it, he just spasms. 

Bad memories/experiences

Logan - lmao. I’ll skip the most obvious (the 3-Day Auroran Extravaganza) because i think that goes without saying - it left him with crippling PTSD and damaged his mind heavily and insidiously. he was already pretty traumatised by his childhood and i think being forced into so many responsibilities so young also messed him up a little. it’s more like….rather one one or two specific experiences, its more just a general feeling of Bad that has stuck with him throughout his life. It was worsened by his later experiences, and essentially primed him for failure.

Lucius - yknow i was thinking about how to word the answer to this question and i realised that i accidentally made Lucius into Batman. His family farm was attacked and burnt to the ground by bandits when he was about 12; his parents and siblings were killed, and he only escaped by hiding in the coal-cellar. Later, he joined up with the mercenaries to try and track down the group that targeted them. fuck hes batman. i didnt mean to batman

Humiliating memories

Logan - oh man his father was a pro at humiliation. mistakes or oversights werent just punished, they were fuckin learned from, and he figured the best way to do this was humiliation - generally through public displays of What You Did Wrong and repeated recitations of the mistake in front of the people whose opinions Logan valued. It was kind of the catalyst for his inferiority complex and intense desire to succeed without input from others. 

Lucius - again, Lucius doesn’t really experience embarrassment - he’s kind of too laid-back for it. yes, it was embarrassing the one time he fell over carrying two milk buckets and threw them all over himself in front of the handsome boy from the next farm over and the guy started laughing at him but like. you live and learn and the dude turned out to have a really ugly laugh anyway so who cares

Fears/phobias

Logan - he’s always had claustrophobia, but after the Auroran Experience this intensifies to a whole new level, and he also develops crippling nyctophobia. part of this is due to his hallucinatory psychosis - he sees things pretty much constantly, but it worsens in low lighting - but it’s also due to the fact that there may very well be actual Things in the dark and he struggles to tell reality from hallucination

Lucius - dogs. fuckin dogs. he hates dogs theyre literally so scary even the small ones bc the small ones move so quick and you never know when theyre gonna come at you

Bad or petty habits

Logan - oh, he’s just a petty bitch. he’s also outwardly arrogant, even if his internal feelings don’t match up to that. drily sarcastic, too, tho a person only really sees that when they get past the walls he throws up - Elrick is very familiar with it. 

Lucius - he’s constantly standing to the right-hand side of people and then he wonders why he cant hear them properly

Grudges and vendettas

Logan - he’d hold a grudge against his father if he wasnt dead. he also holds a pretty heavy grudge against Theresa for not just fucking telling him.

Lucius - at first, only against the bandits that killed his family, but once he deals with them hes kind of at a loss as to where to go next. fortunately Logan starts starving people shortly afterwards, so if nothing else it gives him a kickstart into the rest of his life. Subsequently, Lucius will hold a vendetta against Logan for the rest of his life, even after he has been in a relationship with Morgan for years - he will never forgive him for the shit he put the common people through, and he doesnt really give a shit about the ~pressures~ Logan was under at the time. fuckin excuses, man. 

Ingrained habits/forces of habit

Logan - his terrible sleeping/eating patterns. even before trauma and night-terrors made it almost impossible for him to sleep peacefully, he didn’t get more than 5 or 6 hours a night, if that.

Lucius - if something is smaller than him, he’ll protect it. he’ll also protect things bigger than him, if given half the chance. hes basically a golden retriever in human form, which is ironic considering his feelings about dogs.

What it takes to make them cry

Logan - would rather die than cry, quite literally.

Lucius - his heart is softer than butter, he’ll cry at anything. he’ll cry at an injured pigeon on the street. 

Dark secrets/’skeletons in the closet’

Logan - never, ever, ever talks about what happened in Aurora. The details die with him.

Lucius - he doesn’t really have any - he’s not ashamed of much in his life, and he’s never done anything terrible enough to render it a skeleton. 

People they’ve hurt or indirectly killed, and how it affected them

Logan - L M A O. yes, it affected him terribly, but tbqh however much its affected him kind of plays second fiddle to how much his actions affected other people.

Lucius - has killed a lot of people who deserved it during his mercenary years, and justifies it to himself by being absolutely certain that they did deserve it. sometimes he doubts this, though, and that doubt plays a big part in his eventually getting out of the game entirely

People who’ve influenced them greatly

Logan - Walter, tho he’ll never admit it in a million years and he still definitely kneecapped him right at the start of the game so idk what that says about him

Lucius - Morgan. it’s real gay, i know, but there it is.

[willgayers]

like, imagine eddie working in a 24/7 convinience store during the night shift (like,,, 11pm-4am) and richie is a regular that just comes in the weirdest hours and buys the most bizarre combo of items and is always trying to flirt w eddie making puns with whatever items hes buying and eddie lowkey likes it (cue stan rolling his eyes)

lmaooo yes yes yes!!

eddie fucking HATES it

but he’s a destitute student (arent we all ha ha ha… send me money) so its not like he really has a choice ya know

he only really likes one of his co-workers (martha) and hates everyone else

but at least theres… something interesting about his job…

richie tozier is 18 and he lives by himself at a condo downtown and his life was pretty fucking boring taking he’d just moved into derry and he knew literally NO ONE other than the cool chick who lives in the same block of flats and richie saw her wearing a the smiths shirt so they became friends 

but then one night,, richie was about to go for a smoke when he realized he’s all out 

also he was kind of in the mood for chicken nuggets

and now that we’re at it how great would a bottle of soda be with that

he remembers seeing a convenience store near his house so he gets up from his couch and glances at the clock ,,, 2am its not that bad yet

so he gets out of the house and walks over to the store

he swings the door open and glances around. the lamps create a rather ugly yellow shade inside,, an old backstreet boys song is playing from the stereos and richie snorts

he doesnt see anyone behind the counter so he just goes straight to the fridge to grab some nuggets,, waddles over to the soda section and grabs a huge bottle of coke

and then he walks out from behind one isle and sees the prettiest?? boy?? ever??

richie drops the coke bottle and it starts to gush out 

the boy behind the counter snaps his head towards richie the SECOND

richie does nothing

“HEY? EXCUSE ME???”

tozier just gapes at him

“ARE YOU GONNA PICK THAT UP??”

“holy shit” richie literally just blurts out 

“??????” this guy is looking at richie like what the fUCK??

then richie flinches back to the moment

“shit,,, i mean,,, yes,, fuck,” richie starts to reach out for the bottle and eddie is like WHAT is this dude seriously gonna grab the-

the soda is still spilling out and some of it shoots straight against richie’s glasses 

“FUCK” he yelps out and drops the bottle, some MORE of it just filling the floor

“oh my gOd just leave it,,, pay for the rest,” eddie sighs knowing he’s gonna have to clean it up

“i am so,,,so sorry” richie blurts out as he rubs his glasses against his shirt and walks towards the counter

eddie looks at him clearer now that he doesnt have the ridiculously big glasses covering half of his face,,, and he swallows because wow?? he’s actually really cute?? 

“yeah its… whatever” eddie murmurs, licking his lips nervously

“so you’ll take that only?” eddie asks, nodding towards the chicken nugget pack

“and a green marlboro”

eddie fights the urge to roll his eyes. he doesnt get smokers

but instead he just hands him the pack 

“that’ll be 6.50″

“here,, and again i am terribly sorry about…”

they both glance behind richie where the coke is only now starting to die out

“yeah.” eddie just says

a few days later,,, richie’s at the skate park with his only friend in town 

“can i tell you something.” richie asks as they’re chilling on top of their skates

“sure” beverly says,, takin a drag out of her cig

“i saw someone”

beverly starts to smirk wide at him 

“oh yeah??? whats she look like i might know her”

richie glances away

“uh.. not a she, actually. a he”

“i go both ways” richie shrugs as beverly’s silently asking if he’s..? not that she’d judge him but out of curiosity

“okay well, whats HE look like”

“he works at the convenience store” richie says and the second he does beverly bursts out laughing

richie’s like ???what???

“oh my god, EDDIE KASPBRAK???”

“you know him???”

“ohh boy eddie kaspbrak is the princess of this town there’s no way in hell you’re gonna get with him”

richie’s heart sinks a little 

“but hey!! theres plenty of pretty boys in this town”

richie doesnt care he wants that one

eddie’s lowkey thought of the weird guy who spilled coke all over the carpet also 

one night richie’s about to make food but realizes he’s out of french fries. and he wants to eat chicken with french fries. he cant possibly eat it with rice that he has,, he just has to eat it with french fries oh well haha what a great thing he lives next to a convenience store!!

so he goes there,, and ,, its faith its destiny or at least thats what tozier thinks eddie is working 

eddie’s stomach flips

mostly because he’s afraid he’s gonna break something again 

“hello” richie says

“…hi..” eddie says, watching as richie walks,, trying to be all cool and casual but ends up walking against a Lays shelf

eddie drops his head quickly to hide his laughter as an embarrassed richie starts gathering up the chips

he ends up taking one tho only so that he can say he “did it on purpose”

“so you’re taking chips and french fries huh???”

“well why not. i like potatoes”

“great”

“uh-huh”

richie’s just staring at eddie as he’s doing his job and eddie can feel this so his cheeks are kinda heating up 

“and a pack of green marlboros”

“right” eddie says,, remembering this from last time 

“that’ll be 10dollars”

“thanks eddie”

eddie almost chokes as the guy flashes him a smirk and is about to leave

“how do you know my name???”

richie just winks and eddie’s stomach flips again but this time its over something completely different and before eddie could ask his name richie’s out of the store already. proud w himself

richie doesnt say anything to bevvie tho even tho they hang out bc he doesnt want 1) beverly to bring him down 2) to ruin the great moment when he’s gonna tell beverly he’s got a date with eddie and see the look on her face

after a couple of days richie goes back to buy a twix bar. and more cigarettes

“hi eds” richie says as he walks in and eddie goes bright red

“do not call me eds”

richie smirks as he shuffles to the desk 

“can i have a pack of-”

eddie slams the marlboro green to the counter

richie smirks lightly

“and a twix” 

“those are in front of you” eddie snaps

“yeah i know that, you handing it to me would’ve just been a great moment to accidentally brush my fingers against yours tho” richie sighs as he grabs the twix and places it on the desk with a sweet smile

eddie’s eyes widen and he has to fake a cough 

“FIVE TWENTY, THANK YOU”

“here ya go” richie says and slides him the money

“whats your name??” eddie asks 

“oh, are you interested in knowing??”

“no, but since you somehow know mine which is kind of stalkery and creepy-”

“richie” richie says as he opens the chocolate bar wrapper and bites down to it 

eddie blinks at him

“richie”

“yeah” richie bites his chocolate again “thats me”

“you enjoying that?” eddie nods towards the twix bar that richie’s literally gorged

“i’ve had better things in my mouth but its okay”

eddie’s jaw drops lightly and he just stares at richie 

and then someone clears their throat so eddie turns his gaze to the rather pissed off looking lady behind richie and he clears his throat

“oKAY! NEXT CUSTOMER PLEASE!”

richie glances behind him 

“hey we were having a conversation here”

eddie’s eyes widen

“UH, NO WE WEREN’T!” Eddie fakes a nervous laugh “please just,, step ahead!!”

“wow, rude eds. im gonna go then”

“ooookayyyyy,,, byeeee” eddie says as he’s already beeping the next customer’s stuff but as richie walks away he still steals a glance at his back

richie just keeps on going back

everytime he buys something weird 

“a vanilla candle..”

“yes, i like the smell”

“uh-huh”

*next time*

“meatballs and popcorn? please tell me you’re not mixing these two”

“i wasnt gonna but thanks for the idea”

*next time*

“cat food? you have a cat?”

“no” 

eddie frowns

“then why would you buy cat food?”

“i wanted to see you” :’)

kaspbrak tries to ignore the butterflies he’s feeling rn

“…three thirty”

“thats some expensive kitty food. well, i hope my next door neighbor tanya will appreciate this”

“youre buying this for your neighbor??”

“yeah. she’s a nice old romani lady with three cats” richie says as he grabs the cat food and eddie starts to smile a little because thats so cute??

richie notices the smile and he just smiles back. no flirts or anything just smiles 

“see ya later alligator” richie says and eddie rolls his eyes amusedly 

“bye”

days pass by,,, richie coming in practically every day and he just doesnt even look around anymore he just grabs the first thing at hands length and puts it to the counter

batteries,, candy bags,, motorcycle magazines,, even tampons once

“…..”

“i get bad nosebleeds” 

and eddie actually lets out a chuckle. an actual ,,, true chuckle and richie gets the biggest smile

“you want your regular?” eddie asks

“huh?”

“the marlboros”

“oh no i quit” richie shrugs and eddie looks surprised

“really?”

“yeah” richie shrugs

(lowkey he quit bc he somehow found out eddie doesnt like smokers)

*eddie heart-eyes intensify*

*another time*

richie’s feeling flirty one friday and buys a pack of condoms

“yyyyello” he says as he slams the pack against the table

eddie looks at it and oh wow he feels like he’s been hit in the chest

why the hell??? he doesnt even know this guy??? yet he kinda feels like he does??? 

“who’s the lucky girl” eddie comments as he beeps the pack

“who says its a girl” richie asks and eddie gets even more pissed off now because??? hE LIKES BOYS??? THATS EVEN WORSE

“right” eddie just dramatically snaps and before he can say the price richie speaks

“im kidding i dont really wanna buy those” he says

eddie quirks a brow

“huh?”

“i dont need them”

silence

“im not having sex”

silence

“i mean i ,,, i do have sex but im not currently having sex”

“…uh huh okay, thanks for sharing this w-”

“okay im getting DESPERATE i need you to go out on a date with me”

eddie’s eyes widen as he raises both of his brows now

“im sorry what”

“yes ,,oh my god PLEASE i’ve been coming here literally every day i thought it would be obvious as im buying things like fucking,,, tampons and protein bars when you can clearly see i haven’t worked out a day in my life”

eddie starts to smile (bc thats true)

“okay”

richie’s taken aback

“huh??”

“okay, i’ll go on a date with you”

“what seriously???”

“yeah” eddie smirks but then jokingly goes serious “just… dont put tampons up your nose”

“i promise i wont i dont even- well sometimes when i do get-”

eddie raises amused brows

“sorry” richie apologizes for talking too much again

eddie grabs a piece of paper and scrabbles something before folding it and handing it to richie

(smooth finger brushing was done btw)

(eddie did it on purpose)

(which sent tingles down richie’s spine)

“i have a free day tomorrow”

“oK THATS GREAT I GOTTA GO NOW BYE” richie’s shocked™

“wait!” eddie stopped him just as richie was about to turn around

“arent you forgetting something??” he says and richie drops his gaze to the counter where eddie’s sliding the condom pack towards richie

richie could fucking cry as he looks at the smirk on eddie’s face

“i dont-” he utters out like what the FuCk Is GoiNg ON

eddie doesnt say anything just raises his brows so richie swallows and nods and grabs the pack, shakily shoving them to the back of his jeans before he gets out and looks at the paper

its got a number

and then 

eddie ,,, and a small heart after that

richie fucking SWOONS and he could do the whole breakfast club fist pump to the air 

they have their date and its lit af and awh

and on monday richie hangs out with beverly

his phone rings and he answers

“hey cutie”

beverly raises her brows

“yeah im still at the skate park.”

silence

“yeah??” richie asks “yeah sure of course!! come here. ok see you”

“who was that?” bevvie asks

richie just smirks

bc literally seconds later eddie walks over (he was just around the corner)

beverly’s mouth drops

“hey!!” eddie smiles as he makes his way over to the two of them,, leaning down to press a kiss to richie’s lips as he sits down 

“beverly,, you might know eddie” richie looks at beverly as he speaks ,, mentally saying HA HA BITCH!!!

beverly just gapes at the two of them

“hi:)” - eddie

“…hi…” beverly gives him an awkward smile

“so like,,, i was supposed to go to work today right?? but then my boss called me and wait im gonna show you this mail i was supposed to take to the post office-”

as eddie starts to grab something from his backpack and goes on with his talking,, beverly turns her shocked gaze to richie who just looks so fucking proud 

“are you serious???” beverly mouths

“ohhh yeah” richie mouths back at him

“hey babe?” richie asks 

“yeah?” eddie asks, turning his head towards richie from his backpack

“gimme another kiss” richie pouts and eddie rolls his eyes, kissing him again. richie starts jokingly planting dozens of tiny kisses on his mouth, making eddie giggle

beverly’s jaw only drops lower

they hang out for some time but once eddie leaves,, beverly speaks

“well,,, guess i was wrong” 

richie just smiles wide bc ofc she was

its reddie

how do i end this??

fuck

bye

the end

@superbyersbros@xbell22@donthateonk8@stenbroughbros@reddiebrekmyheart@itsgreywaterrichie@donvex@blueeyespurpleskies@ageorgymi@oh-youre-the-worst@eddiekaaspbraak @whipashwhipash@rissyq @richietoaster @edskasqbrak @urtury@bukiminajimu@kcutieeesblog@stansmansuris@adorefack@reddieaddict@icyeyes102@denbroughbill@graveyardshipper@taletellingsir@anxiety-freak-yuuri@rheddie@queertrashmouth@richiefreakingtozier@castletozier@tohzier@80soleff@lonewolfhard@low-key-dying@sad-synth@richietoaster@badboyharrington@beepbeep-losers@temptedtozier@kaspbraccs@kylieee827-blog @sad-synth@low-key-dying@officiallyreddie@reddietofall@stanleyboii@eternitynurarms@remushlupin@turtleneckrichie@rosegoldrichie@80srichie@asteroidbill@lonewolfhard@trashmouthgazebos@littlepointman@finnhardwolf@allison0609 @fabulousprinceali  @tatiscribbles @s-s-georgie @coralinejones @richiestoziiers @tatiscribbles

[cosmospoons]

House MD season 2

30 second episode recaps from someone whos just watched em for the first time and has bad recall

Ep1: they gotta cure the death row dude so he can go back to death row to b killed, cameron is Bad at telling ppl they're dying, house n Wilson had lunch with the coma guy, they cured death row man, also they changed the theme and I hate it Ep2: House has hayfever lmao, this cancer girl with hallucinations is honestly just the coolest she's so positive I love her, shes nine and got chase to kiss her hero,, house an Wilson have a shared balcony amazing, Wilson is so good and pure and is amazing at his job holy shit I love this man. House actually 'temporarily killed' the patient to cure her and made people run drills on a dead man. House is 400% going to buy a motorbike Ep3: i prayed for Cuddy's handyman to fall off her roof past the window and then god answered my prayers and he did, house broke into Cuddy's house mainly to look at her underwear lbr and then won the 'can we chop off his arm' argument, house secretly speaks spanish and waited for the most dramatic moment to reveal this, they gate crashed a cock fight (ayy) and saved the patient Ep4: the patient is a doctor with an ego ((according to house lmao pot, kettle)) who wanted to sit in on the diagnostic process and honestly is actually full of himself,, house puts him on a tippy table and cranks it up, foreman made a patient cry except he was pretending to be house lmao house got in shit,, Cameron needs to stop please, can the patient get his head out his arse please. house gatecrashes the press conference that the patient called and managed to put him into cardiac arrest on live television and eventually cured him of everything cept bein a knob Ep5: Wilson's handwriting is such doctor handwriting and house definitely bought a motorbike and made Wilson pay for it he's so pleased with himself. The kid keeps getting electrocuted but like,, by his own body. House is avoiding his parents but Cameron n Wilson aren't letting him get away with it. I love house n Wilson's friendship so much it's worth 5k apparently lmao. These patients are fukin serial liars jc why are ppl like this, it was rADIATION wow houses dad is a fucking DICK. There were so many good interactions and the house/wilson ship is sailing Ep6: there was a cyclist who took a LOT of drugs which turned out to be curing him of the thing he had, house is a douchebag but we all knew that - he may b a dick to mark but m sure mark deserves it n I love him anyway. Wilson remains a sweet boy even if he cheats idgaf he's adorable look at him ((wilson: i net someone who made me feel funny, me: was it hOUSE)),, he n house are balcony buddies and house shud stop stealing his food, and he should definitely stop digging thru stacys life but actually fuck it why not he's not gunna let go of this why is she so pissy i wanna know Ep7: I love houses new pet rat Steve McQueen,, Wilson is 4000% done with houses Stacy related antics which is fair tbh he should stop but I actually don't give much of a shit about Stacy I've taken against her....he did deserve what she said after reading her file tho. The patient may have given Cameron aids and Cameron got high and slept with Chase, who she may have given aids lmao these ppl r messes but not as much of a mess as that father/son relationship jc...i dont remember anything else about the patient whoops Ep8: chase is being suuuueeeeddd and he keeps lying about why lmao,, house fuckin reamed him one which was probably called for but maybe not like that, turns out chase screwed up cus his dad died and foreman is houses boss ((supervisor)) now how well do u think that's gunna work (((not very))) Stacy's still a bitch and has ~~feelings~~ Ep9: foreman is in charge and house is doing his utmost best to be the dick of the year and it's fucking hilarious honestly I love this man the shit he pulls jc,,, Wilson is super aware of houses antics as usual and had a mild gay panic when foreman started to question him about house,, the patient was a big ol Faker™ but surprise surprise she was actually sick this time ((house totally injected her with a load of stuff so she’d b readmitted after they’s released her)) Ep10: house solved a case thru the phone alone and spent most of the ep at the airport except for those five minutes when he almost slept with Stacy who once had a terrible experience with curry apparently and called house a vindaloo, nice restraint very well timed phone call thank fuck,,, they will sleep together tho and I am Not Happy about it....the power play amongst the fellows is a boiling pot of trouble - the patient was v interesting I enjoyed the word scramble game Ep12: WHAT A GOOD FUCKIN EP so the patient orgasmed in the white chamber while unconscious and covered in burns but more importantly house gatecrashed the lecture of his old archenemy that he had arranged just so he could disturb it and criticise the dude who got him thrown out of med school for snitchin on his cheating all whilst Wilson told him to get better hobbies (('a hooker anything please')),, to test this dudes migraine meds he gave deliberately himself a migraine and the meds didn't work (unsurprising) so the fellows turned out all the lights while he had a nap under the table,, wilson took a diff approach and deliberately made a Lot of noise because he is a Shit even if he hides it better than house,,,, then house dropped a tab of acid and took a bunch of antidepressants, and cured his migraine as well as the patient Ep13: houses leg was super duper sore but at least we got some fantastic house/wilson interaction when wilson pretended to be God during that MRI, even if house hit him with a cane.... The patient was a teen supermodel who seduced her own father to get whatever she wanted,, house was super sure she had cancer and it turns out she did but it was testicular because she had xy chromosomes and was immune to testosterone - which was really fucking interesting...... Also cuddy played house like a violin and gave him placebo saline instead of a morphine shot to prove to him that his leg pain was psychological Ep14: House is stealing organs now. Ok so technically he did get the husband's permission to steal his newly dead wife’s heart for the dying old dude with a strangely young daughter but only after he kneed house in the balls super hard. House spent the whole ep goin on at wilson about the affair he thought he was having and at the end wilson showed up on houses doorstep but sURPRIse !! It was his wife who was sleeping around!! poor baby Wilson I know what goes around comes around but he's such a kicked puppy cmon Ep15: Wilson and house living together is a recipe for disaster and I'm living for it so good so many good interactions I love that house is gunna keep him for his food ((I'll never b over house hearing the voicemail about Wilson's new place, looking over at him sleeping on the couch and then deleting it so he has to stay)). The patient had a super cool marriage and didn't have lupus except whoops actually not a happy marriage his wife is tryna kill him thru gold poisoning. House needs to stop accosting ppl in bathrooms and should also stop destroying marriages Ep16: oh man good shit so,, first of all house n Wilson are still living together and there are some Domestic Antics happening right here including but not limited to a prank war which house desperately tried to get Wilson to participate in, the peak of which had house making Wilson wet the couch and Wilson sabotaging houses cane. The patients mum was ridiculously overprotective and house essentially kidnapped the patient to find the tick noone else thought was there,, surprisingly Wilson helped set that up despite the fact house was the reason he woke up wet that morning Ep17: first things first house could absolutely clean everyone out at poker if he knows Cuddy's tells that well through just a phonecall,, also he needs to stop calling Wilson out on his toenail varnish habits lmao. The patient was a smol boy who presented the same symptoms as an unsolved and dead case that house had 12 yrs ago so he really wasn't gunna let this one go cus he's like a dog with a bone. They were in formal wear all ep which was a Good Look™ and Wilson's retelling of how he won the poker championship may have been one of the cutest things I have ever seen Ep18: Emma from Glee is here and she has the black plague,, her gf decided to donate her liver n Cameron was all het up cus house had worked out plague girl was gunna leave her and sending the gf in blind would be ~~unethical~~ but turns out she knew and deliberately did that so Emma would stay with her out of guilt lmao. In other news Cameron's pissy cus foreman 'stole' her article and house spent most of the episode napping cus wilson is fuckin up his sleep cycle ;) I'm upset there was no physical wilson Ep19: the most annoying patient so far appears in the form of a 15 yr old faith healer with herpes. I feel like the degree to which unrelenting niceness irritates me rly says something about me but eh oh well. Chase (ofc it was chase) kept a tally on who was winning God or house, faith healer managed to shrink a womans cancer tumour through giving her herpes (((a miracle praise be))) and during poker night house called wilson out on sleeping with said cancer patient and discovered wilson was actually living with her whoops bad Wilson ((he totally regrets his life choices ((he should)))) Ep20: HOLY SHIT ITS A TWOPARTER AND FOREMANS GUNNA DIE !! Ok so,,, there was this cop who couldn't stop laughing till he could but then it got a lot worse and then foreman caught whatever it was which they began to realise when he smirked as house shot a corpse to see what a bullet in a brain would do to an MRI ((spoilers it broke the machine)) anyway long story short it wasnt the pigeons and the cops dead and foreman is gunna die even after that shitdick move he pulled where he stabbed Cameron with a needle so she'd go to the apartment Ep21: HOO BOY OK SO a lot happened so much happened the most important thing is foreman by the end of the ep is mostly kind of ok - he's just a bit muddled on his lefts n rights. During the ep house was stressed the entire time cus even tho he denys it he does love n care for his ducklings,, he even cares enough to deliberately attempt to poison Steve McQueen which didn't work but can be added to the list of stressful events. Cameron grew a spine a lil bit I literally yelled when she berated cuddy and she forced the biopsy cus foreman had the foresight (ayyyyy) to make her his medical proxy even if house managed to find the problem anyway so it was ultimately unnecessary and has just resulted in some possible brain damage Ep22: house keeps trying to pick a fight with foreman and failing because Foreman's all happy go lucky now, the patient was mad because of a thing and killed her baby accidentally on purpose, the music that played during the baby autopsy was super unnecessary and bizzare, and in the end the woman had cancer but she's refusing treatment cus of the baby guilt. Cuddy didn't have cancer, which we know because Wilson ((WILSON NOT HOUSE)) stole her dna and ran secret tests in the middle of the night, but it still wasn't a date Wilson despite what house said about skin lessions she was actually just going to attempt to use u as a sperm donor - have fun at the L-word marathon with house you big sad loser (I love u) Ep23: we meet an old house friend which is Super fun he is ridiculously naive and I love that he calls house g-man holy shit. House is now giving cuddy injections as part of a fertility treatment which is nice of him especially seeing as his leg was in a Lot of pain this ep,, like a LOT...he's self-injecting morphine now which is probably bad :/ house's friend's daughter was the patient at one point she pooped out her mouth gRoSs and house ran a paternity test n told the girl she was actually the dudes daughter ((except he was lYINg in support of his friend)) he does care Ep24: HOUSE GOT SHOT WHAT IS IT WITH THIS TEAM SUFFERING RN JC this was a very fun episode of 'guess when house is hallucinating', spoilers the answer is all the time the whole ep takes place in his head. That aside I absolutely loved the hospital gown/trainer combo (no I won't apologize) and the fact that house did almost none of his physio - instead relegating it to others which is....not how it works. The hallucinatory clinic patient was freaky deaky his eye exploded and so did his dick but dw cus to escape the hallucination house killed him ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ what can u do. At the end house woke up n requested ketamine we'll see how that goes

Season 1

[fifi-uchiha]

He Wasn’t There (2/?)

Don’t read if you can’t deal with sexual abuse! Part 1: https://fifi-uchiha.tumblr.com/post/170476061649/he-wasnt-there

................................................................

“What do you mean, he hasn’t answered yet?” Those were the few times in which Hatake Kakashi felt something similar to... rage. The silver haired jonin could not understand why his former student was still absent and Kakashi knew Sasuke well enough to know that he’d die for Sakura in a heartbeat. So why didn’t he send a hawk after receiving that letter from Naruto? What was going on, how could he take so damn long to answer?! “I mean what I said, dattebayo. I didn’t get a message. I have no idea where that bastard is nor do I know how he reacted to the latest news!” Naruto sounded uncharacteristically desperate because he just didn’t understand how everything turned out so goddamned messed up! “Kakashi Sensei, I know him better than myself! He wouldn’t just ignore a message from us, Sasuke would never stay away if Sakura-chan’s life were endangered-” “Then why isn’t he here?”, Kakashi asked a bit too fiercely. “I know how important that mission is, Naruto, but I always thought that his family would be his first and most important priority...” “It is! Kakashi Sensei, Sarada-chan and Sakura-chan are both his life! That bastard would NEVER abandon them, I swear!” Naruto would never forget how he left the village after he spent time with 12 year old Sarada and Sakura-chan. . . . “Dobe.” As always, his voice showed little emotion and a normal person would never be able to see the deep connection that hold Team 7 together. They were family, more so even, that’s why Sasuke never had to be over dramatically sweet or something. “I swear to god, if you call me that again, I will rip out your chicken ass hair, dattebayo!” Sasuke payed little attention to his idiotic outburst and kept on talking as if nothing happened. “Take care of them.”, he just said without looking the hokage in the eye. “You and Kakashi… You’re the only ones I trust.” His voice was prompt, serious and held a little softness with it which could only be recognized by his comrades. “This is the last time I’m asking you to watch over them, Naruto. Next time I come back, it will be for good and I will stay forever.” Processing those blunt but honest words, Naruto smiled, being more than happy to  hear that for it was always his dream to life a life with his comrades by his side. Sasuke -even if he barely showed his feelings- hated leaving his family behind but after being too lazy for too many months he knew that the time had come to leave and finish his mission. Even if it would take years again, he would return eventually and stay with his wife and child. And the sooner he went off, he sooner he’d get back. Sasuke couldn’t wait to come back, so much Naruto knew. “Don’t worry. Under my care, nobody will get hurt, dattebayo! I will protect Sarada-chan and Sakura-chan with my life!” “Sakura is fully capable of protecting her.”, the black haired Uchiha said, his dark, obviously worried eyes looking to an unknown distance. “Sarada is save with her. No matter what, Sakura would never let her get hurt.” There was so much trust in his tone that it almost surprised Naruto for he still wasn’t used to Sasuke’s and Sakura’s intimate relationship. They barely showed too much affection in public nor did they use soft, loving words but Naruto knew that their relationship must be one hell of intense when they were alone. “Naruto. I want you to keep an eye on our annoying, overworking and ridiculously selfless comrade.” What sounded like a harsh demand was actually Sasuke’s way of pleading and Naruto didn’t need a second to think about his answer. “Don’t worry about her safety. Sakura-chan is my best friend and the worst thing that could happen is that she could collapse after a shift in the hospital, dattebayo!” “Hn. She really is too reckless sometimes.”, the Uchiha commented disapprovingly. “But I will make sure to fix her way of working after I finished this mission.” That definitely was a promise he would keep, Naruto was sure of it. “Well, Ino tried to lock her up once but it turned out that Sakura broke down a whole wall to get out. Damn, that was amazing! Scary… but definitely amazing!”

“Tche. I have my ways to convince her.” A little, devilish smirk touched his lips an immediately, Naruto started to shriek like a girl and made choking noises after realizing what he just implied. “Teme! I do NOT want to know ANYTHING about anything that involves you two fucking each others BRAINS OUT!” “Shut up, Usuratonkachi!” . . . “He loves her, Kakashi Sensei! Sasuke-teme would never abandon them!” “I understand you, Naruto, but it’s pretty hard to believe that when I look at my broken, traumatized student who has to suffer without having her husband by her side.” Kakashi was blunt and honest as always, too honest for Naruto, really. “However, I will take charge of the investigations.”, the jonin said, looking more serious than ever. “Whoever did this to her, I will find him and… make him regret.” Actually, Kakashi Hatake wasn’t known to be overly brutal or harsh but he was kinda sensitive when someone dared to hurt his team. And his wasn’t simply ‘hurting’ his former student. No, someone who was more than powerful was able to do the unthinkable to Uchiha Sakura and the jonin would make sure that the culprit would get his punishment. Even Ibiki’s torture methods wouldn’t stand a chance against his own ways of interrogation. “Alright.”, the seventh hokage replied, his blue eyes full of sorrow and worry. “I’ll visit Sakura-chan today. Maybe… she’s ready to talk to us and-” “Don’t go in there alone, Naruto.”, Kakashi interrupted him. “Best friend or not, you are a man. I knew plenty of women who suffered the same fate and a few of them weren’t even able to face their own brothers and fathers after… that.” Kakashi’s chest twitched at the mere thought. Never in his life would he have imagined that he wouldn’t be able to visit his traumatized student to be there for her only because… he was a man. His little, sweet, crazy ex-student wouldn’t want to see him because of that fact and it hurt Kakashi. It really hurt to experience something as horrible as that. “I-” Naruto choked after he processed the sixth hokage’s words. “I’ll take Ino with me...” Naruto got up, looking mortified and sad as he walked to the door, knowing that it would hurt even more if he saw Sakura-chan like that again. But he had to suffer for her. They were best friends and not even the devil himself would keep him from visiting his pink haired, energetic, hot tempered comrade. But to be honest… Naruto would rather fight the devil instead of facing her. Because Naruto knew he failed miserably for he broke his promise in the most horrible way. Things would probably never go back to the way it was before… . . . ..……………………………………....………………………. “How do you feel?” Ino sat right next to her best friend, her blue eyes full of sadness and worry for Sakura. The medic-nin looked like a whole different person even though she didn’t show any changes physically. It was her eyes that made the blonde kunoichi worry. Her eyes lost that special, green spark- There was no joy, no happiness, no determination- Nothing. Ino saw nothing in those once energetic, sparkling eyes but heavy emptiness. Dead. Sakura looked dead, absolutely lifeless and empty. “Sakura… Something’s wrong with your chakra.”, she started to get Sakura to speak up. “Listen to me. I know you were hurt and I know… that you suffer. But your chakra is spinning like crazy and if we don’t know what happened, we won’t be able to help you.” Still no answer. Sakura just sat on her bed and looked at the wall in front of her, no showing one single expression. “I think your opponent used a jutsu to do something to you..! Sakura, please, I’m your best friend, you can trust me-” “Mama!” It were Sarada and Naruto who suddenly showed up and while the young Uchiha girl hurried to her mothers side, the hokage looked kind of unsure. Naruto hesitated, remembering Kakashi Senseis painful but true words. “Mama… How are you? Do you feel too much pain? Do you need fresh air?” “Sarada...” Again, it was her beloved daughters name that Sakura whispered and Ino could see her eyes getting wet immediately. “Yes? Do you need something?”, she asked in a hurried voice. “Don’t worry about your daughter, Sakura-chan! Sarada-chan stays with us and she liked it, am I right?” Even if he tried, Naruto didn’t sound as cheerful as he actually wanted but he couldn’t help it. Looking at Sakura-chan’s beaten, bruised and weak body made his insides squirm, the hokage felt like he was out of oxygen. “Sarada..?” Green, dull eyes were looking at the 14 year old Uchiha who almost shivered by the way her mother looked at her. The next words hit Sarada like a train for she had not expected to hear something like that from the medical ninja. “Would… Would it be okay if we… moved out?” Ino and Naruto let out a shocked breath as they watched mother and daughter during Sakura’s weakest moments of pain and agony. Both of them knew what exactly the pinkette meant but they just couldn’t believe what they heard. It seemed so impossible and unreal to them, however, this was reality. Harsh, painful reality. Sarada was aware of what her mom tried to ask her. Would it be okay if we lived in another house… without your papa? To be honest, Sarada couldn’t describe the feelings that were consuming her. Fear, shock, hesitation, rage, sadness… and pure understanding. Yes, she was angry at her father who still didn’t come back from his mission, however, she didn’t want their parents to divorce… Maybe one little part of her wanted that but it was far to complicated to explain. She knew that her mother deserved much better. She deserved a life full of happiness with a husband who would stay by her side and show his live with no hesitation. But like she said, it was too complicated to explain. “Yes.”, she still answered. Sarada was no naive, ordinary child. The young chunin was aware that her mother loved her father very much… maybe even too much. However, whatever happened to her seemed to have changed her mama. It was more than obvious that she wasn’t able to live with her husband any longer because sometimes love wasn’t enough. “Yes… Mama, you don’t have to think that I wouldn’t support you!”, Sarada stressed and held the pinkette’s hand in a firm but soft grip. “We’re a team, remember? Whatever happened to you, I will help you get better. Mama, I would never leave you, I swear!” Sarada was not the kind of girl who used sweet words for anyone or anything, really, but Uchiha Sakura was her mother. She was the person who raised and loved her from the very beginning, she was the person who taught Sarada how to love. So how could she possibly leave her mother? “Don’t you think it would be more convenient if you both stayed at my house? I mean, we could have lots of fun together! With Sai and Inojin in the house, I’m clearly outnumbered and I definitely need girls by my side!” Ino would not leave her friend alone, Sakura was psychologically not able to cope with those last incidents. “Thank you, Ino. But… I just want to… stay with Sarada.” “But you can stay with us, Ino-san!”, the 14 year old kunoichi ensured, feeling that her mothers best friend would be able to help her coming back to her senses again. “Uh… Yeah, sure! I mean, it’s been so long since we three had a girls night, don’t you think?” “Hey, can I come, too?”, Naruto asked and got an unpleasant look from the blonde medic. “I said ‘girls night’, Naruto.”, she deadpanned matter-of-factly. “Are you a girl or was there something you were hiding from us?” “Well, If it’s a girl you want...” His sneaky grin was evil, the corners of his moth almost reaching his ears when he crossed index- and middle finger for his well known jutsu. “Oiroke no jutsu!” A second and a load of smoke later, a ridiculously attractive, barely clothed woman appeared, smiling seductively at his female friends. “...then it’s a girl you’ll get! One hell of a girl, dattebayo!” Sarada looked kind of… shocked because she now realized where that baka Boruto got that idiotic idea to consider this even more idiotic jutsu as a real fighting technique. If her mother weren’t so hurt and sick, she would’ve felt so much disappointment for the nan-daime but she would talk to uncle Naruto later about it. “Would you cut that shit out? My daughter is right here, baka Naruto!” Ino, Sarada and Naruto let out a more than surprised breath when the pink haired medic-nin suddenly shouted at him. Sure, her voice was still raspy and Naruto knew that this was a result from… screaming too much. Never in his life had the fox ninja witnessed that Sakura would be out of voice because of a horrible fight she’d lost… Her form still looked fragile and weak and her beautiful green eyes would need very much time to sparkle again, so much he knew. But at least she started talking. As long as Sakura would talk, Naruto would help her get better and even if the beautiful medical ninja could never be the same, he would be there. “I’m sorry, Sakura-chan. But I want to be a part of your three-woman-army!” With his horrible feelings of guilt and hatred for himself, Uzumaki Naruto would try to be the one who’d make her be happy again. He would talk to her, he would be there for her, he would even smile so she would feel at least a little better. And one day, Sakura would be able to talk about that fateful day. One day, she would trust her friend and tell him everything. And one day, Sasuke… will come back. Naruto believed in him. He had to because if he didn’t believe in Sasuke Uchiha… Then who would? . . . “Whatcha doin’, Sarada?” The fourteen year old was just carrying the last boxes into her new home. Uncle Naruto, Sai-san, Ino-san, Kakashi Sensei and Lee-san volunteered to help them out, so they would surprise the medic who was still hospitalized for at least three days. She got up early today to finish her duties, making sure to take all her and Mama’s stuff from her old home and yes, the young girl shed uncountable tears while doing so. Seeing their family photo hurt. Mama was smiling her most beautiful smile, looking full of joy and happiness while Papa’s lips formed a rather warm, soft and relaxed smile with eyes looking so… peaceful. Yeah, her father looked incredibly peaceful and Sarada wondered why she’d never noticed before. But then again, she was only 12 years old. Now, 15 months later, she was far more attentive and smart and noticing that immense happiness she felt even more terrible. Sadness, anger, betrayal… So many feelings made her chest hurt and like so many times before, Sarada asked herself why her parents were even married. Or why her dad wouldn’t come back to hunt that bastard down who hurt Mama and rip him to shreds. Because she would. Sarada would find him and drown him in his own blood. “Kachan was worried when you suddenly took off. You can’t just leave like that, do you have any idea how afraid mom and dad were?”, Boruto scolded her which felt a little weird because it was always his female teammate who scolded him to death. “That’s right. We were worried.”, Mitsukis calm, collected voice said. “Konohamaru Sensei almost cried, you know. I think you should apologize to him.” “I’m just trying to decorate my new home as you can see!” Her sudden snap startled Boruto and Mitsuki for it was not like Sarada to bust out like that. Sarada’s back was facing them, she didn’t even turn around to look them in the eye. “The heck? We were all looking for you and now you shout at us? Do you think that’s fair?!” “I never asked you to look for me!”, she hissed in a hurried voice. “As you can both see, I’m just renovating my new home! So stop bickering about my absence!” “We were WORRIED!” “NO NEED TO!” Mitsuki just looked from one side to the other, finding himself in his used position to watch his comrades bicker. But… No, this wasn’t just bickering. Sarada seemed really upset and Boruto angry. His friends bickered pretty often, yes, but… this was an argument. A real verbal fight. “Would you at least turn the fuck around?! Damn it, Sarada, we were afraid that this guy would hurt you, too!” “Guys, we should all calm down...-” “I am BUSY! Boruto, I don’t have time for you and your idiotic reproaches! Get lost and leave me alone like-” Like Papa. Just like Papa left Mama and her. “Okay, that’s it!” “Boruto, don’t-” Mitsuki was too late for Boruto finally snapped, grabbed her right upper arm and forced her not too gently to turn around and at least look him in the eye. But when he looked at her, his breath hitched and his heart pumped against his chest. Looking at him were eyes redder than blood, with tomoes spinning like crazy. Her mouth was a pressed line, her jaw hardened and… her cheeks wet. Sarada’s red eyes were drowning in wet, flowing tears and both, Mitsuki and Boruto thought that she was suffering like she was being tortured. Yes, Sarada looked very angry and upset at Boruto but she was crying. Never before had Mitsuki or Boruto seen Uchiha Sarada shed tears. Happy tears maybe… but not this. Not like that. “Sarada...” “I just wanted to decorate our new home! Someone HAS to do it!”, she spat with shaking voice and flowing tears. “I would’ve asked my dad to do it but as you both know, he isn’t HERE!” It was at this moment when Uchiha Sarada lost it and had her very first brake down. “Oi… Sara-!” Holding her tightly, Boruto felt lost and horrible when she started sobbing uncontrollably, her small body shaking like crazy. Nervousness and absolute horror was written in the Uzumaki’s eyes when Mitsuki suddenly stood right next to them and put a hand on her back. Never in his life would Boruto have imagined to see his female comrade so broken, never would he have guessed how much she suffered… “You don’t have to cry. Your family will be okay again, Sarada...” Mitsuki didn’t quite know how to deal with such a delicate situation and simply acted on instinct, hoping it would help Sarada for he found out that he hated it when she cried. Es wasn’t used to seeing er like this and he did not enjoy this at all- He’d rather have Sarada scold the Uzumaki or just tease him like no one else could. “No… No, we won’t be okay, Mitsuki..!”, she sobbed, breaking even more with each passing minute. “He didn’t come back! Even though he KNOWS that there is someone out there who was able to defeat and hurt Mama terribly, even though he KNOWS that Mama is very sick right know!” “My mom… Something horrible happened to her and she won’t tell me what. She’s changed, guys, she’s changed a lot… I don’t know how I can help her, without Papa I can’t do anything!” “No, you help your mother by simply being there.”, Mitsuke told her in a calm, warm voice. “There’s no need for you to feel so upset. I’m sure you guys will get through this in no time. You just have to be patient.” “He’s right, dattebasa!”, Boruto agreed and patted the back of the girl in his arms. “Sasuke-ojisan will come back, there’s no way he’d leave you.”, he continued. “Your mom is tough and so are you and there is no way that anyone can really screw with you two. Sakura-nechan didn’t lose the fight, by the way. She was injured, yes, but we don’t know what happened to that bastard that attacked her. Come on, now please stop crying, Sarada...” And really, the Uchiha girl finally was able to calm down. Her teammates just stayed with her, not allowing her to be alone and have another breakdown because after two years of deep friendship, there was nothing new Team 7 wouldn’t do for each other. “Come on, you guys. Lets finish this and make Sakura-san happy, yeah?”, Mitsuki suddenly broke the silence, having the feeling that this would cheer her up even more. “As far I can see, Sarada’s fashion sense is kind of… grotesque.” Too shocked and offended by his words, Sarada pouted, looking rather annoyed at Mitsuki’s friendly, mean remark who just smiled at her. “Wow.”, she said with her strong voice, drying her tears with her Sleeve. “You really know how to cheer someone up, don’t you?” Mitsuki’s smile grew wider hat her little smirk, knowing that there was no reason to worry anymore. “I do, actually. But there’s one thing I still don’t quite manage to understand.”, he said whereas Sarada and Boruto blinked at him, looking more than confused? “And what would that be, Mitsuki?”, the blonde chunin asked as his friend’s grin became teasing. “Why are you still holding her? You guys look like a couple in love.” Sarada blinked once, twice, thrice and suddenly realized that her idiotic comrade was indeed still holding her which was why she let got of his shirt she was clawing before. “You won’t tell anyone, right?”, Sarada asked him a little unsure. “I would never tell anyone about anything involving your or Boruto’s personal problems.” Both of them sighed in relieve, however, when Mitsuki patted their shoulders, they knew he was up to something. “But I definitely will tell Chocho about how close you’ve gotten...” “MITSUKIIIIII!” Sarada and Boruto ran after him with the attempt to catch the wind-style user and force him to stay quite and while doing so, the black haired kunoichi smiled with herself for she was so thankful to have comrades like them. Sure, family was the most important part in her life, but sometimes, teammates can be just es close as family. That’s what Mama has taught her after all… . . . :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Sooo, this is part two of my new fanfic that I wrote… kinda out of the blue, actually. I don’t even think it’ll be that long. Like I said, I just want to boost my English knowledge ^^

And guys, I know that there are a few people who don’t like stories like that and I understand. It’s okay, you don’t have to like my fanfics at all, even if you follow me. I won’t hold it against you, okay? BUT you guys should all know that I will block every hater who wants to act like one tough internet-gangster. Criticize me like an adult without using improper language. Not only don’t I give a shit about critics like that, there also WILL be one hell of a backfire which I really want to avoid. So, I hope you liked it! Have a great day/night and good look with enduring this week. I’ll have an exam on Thursday so… Wish me luck, yeah? :D with love fifi-uchiha! Part 3 https://fifi-uchiha.tumblr.com/post/170697283709/he-wasnt-there-3

[misterbitches]

ITSAY SPOILERS

it was so well done and good except liek ep1 WAY too much crying for my tastes but wow so many good scenes. tarn yelling at him was also great.

i don’t even think it’s necessarily “dumb” writing (i don’t think this show has dumb writing but i’m thinking of this particular situation) or implausible (as in would a real life person do that?) because teenagers aren’t that bright. and it’s for a reason, there’s a whole life you have yet to experience. that’s why the amount of crying is normal (but a lot for my grown eyes lmao) and that’s why i’m depressed. because these decisions are so childish and stupid and ridiculous and, ultimately, not ones that you make with a clear head .which is GOOD because they’re teenagers. 

but it sucks because it’s so stupid and the reason why tarn and tay’s convo is so important is because she points out that it doesn’t matter how pissed she is about the situation he’s just hurting himself. it’s actually bonkers and just not a good idea. her telling him that he is distracting her (even if she was hurt) is a perfect example. she’s spent this whole time studying for what she wanted first and so if things do go of course her future doesn’t rely on him.

i’m not sure how i would feel were i oh-aew. in fact, i know if that were to ever happen to me i know i’d do the exact same thing. it’s this absolutely stupid and misguided mistake that they BOTH TOOK (one basically yeeting cos of feelings, the other yeeting so the other one can take cos of feelings) and as much as it drives me wild it’s like.....holy shit the stupidity. which is profound.

it’s sad because hoon, though not as present in the story, has been such a good brother. calmer obviously and has more of a plan and he’s sure of himself (him waiting to introduce his gf is really big too and it’s a mature step while it is also something he chose to do—he made a choice for himself and was living a whole life without them being so privvy to it because it’s his life) and obviously he knows what’s going on but he’s so understanding. but the contrast is clear (and there must be about 6-10 yrs between them) he can regulate his life and feelings and is understanding but also like. he wouldn’t do that. 

because he’s older and knows the world more. all the people who are supposed to be more emotionally mature really are in this show and i think age and femininity are clear indicators that the show highlights. whether purposefully or not, but there’s a much different type of impulse and irregularity that people show than teenage boys. then there’s that expectation of what a boy should be anyway. but damn.

it was stressful to watch cause, esp for tay, you see yourself self-destructing in an effort to understand yourself. the sheer self-sabotage and also self-sacrificing bullshit. and imagine how happy oh-aew felt when he got in—that means that you can get over things. at least one thing was going right and he could move beyond tay for his future (WHICH MAKES SENSE HELLO), heartbreak really isn’t going to last forever but someone does something brash, rude, and stupid. lmao

anyway EYE personally think that they should be together. i think. like as a good ending as a romantic drama. howeverrrrrrrrrrrrrm you know. if this happened in the real world. well, i’m not sure what i would want. i think i’d prefer to stay friends with that person, real friends, if we could. or honestly i wouldnt bother at all. being a teenager is such a useless time. i feel, when i watch, like i’m kind of back in that same place. except my childhood was like not good very bad and my parents suck but all the circular and ridiculous logic and the anger and confusion.

i almost found no personal peeves or technical or creative faults from eps 2 and 3. the only complaint i have about 1+4 is the excessive crying. well actually in ep 1 it seems like they hadnt fleshed out the sound / music spotting and the rest of the eps NAIL it imo but other than that. i am not such a huge fan of constant crying but that’s very minor and i know many people have a flair for the more dramatic. it was a genuinely great hour and a half (?) almost. i kept wanting to fast forward cos i’m not always keen on drama drama (and i wasnt in the mood and i’m high) but the way it was done was REALLY captivating.

also holy shit instagram is stupid. when i was in HS we had just gotten FB and that was big i guess. it wasnt as developed as now, obviously in 2010 i turned 18 so...havent been a teen for a bit. phones were important then tho and we all had like blackberries before iphones (if you could afford it or your parents gave you one....neither was my option lmao) but the stupid fucking use of insta and the dumb lack of communication is HILARIOUS. on a gen z level....i’m not even that much older than the actors but still LOL and i’m 10 years older than an 18 year old...which seems like a huge leap now but not later. 10 yrs passes by so fast. but i would die if i was laying my feelings bare on insta like that. myspace was ENOUGH.

i have more to say but idk how to express it. strong stuff. 

oh also the jerking off scene was bonkers to me it was so good omg the use of like all the tired old tropes or the common things between the years that teens do. everything about it felt so major lmao i died 

anyway that was pretty fuckin metal. i’m not good with emotional fallout, i always need it paired with something violent or so actively psychologically damaging. so for me to feel stressed about things i’ve been through before, knowing that things will be alright as you get older.....that was good shit!