#it was supposed to end up in the bin- but I saved it- kinda?

[holymanunharmed]

Another Geroche drawing, with absolutely no context. (Sorry.)

[bandgie]

Cat-Fight | Ep. 5

MASTERLIST | Kink: Tiddies

🗝 Now there's no doubt in your mind that this Other World is very much real. You're desperate to make your roommates see the truth, but the neighborhood black cat is set on keeping his mouth shut. Yours too.

5.1k words

warnings! MDNI18+, fem!reader, argument w/ chan, reader has a tiny meltdown in the beginning, fuckin' on the bug couch 😭, PIV, no protection, boobs...lot's of it, nipple sucking/pinching/flicking/etc, seungmin is manipulative if you catch it, cumming inside

notes! little bit of angst in the beginning, but it's okay, bin is there to save the day. there wasn't even supposed to be fight scene with chan (it was supposed to be Seung), but I was angry when I wrote it and I just kinda spewed it out. I think it worked out in the end tho

Jeongin is gone when you wake. There’s not a sign of him in either doll or human form. With your head spinning, last night wants to blur into a dream.

But you know better now.

Rays of the waking sun barely touch your window. The sky is a light blue and the horizon is subtly yellow in the early morning. You’re tempted to close your eyes again, but you will yourself to sit up.

A part of you wishes you never accepted Jisung’s gift. You could’ve brushed off the interaction with Seungmin’s warning as a nightmare, but now you’re cursed with the truth.

There’s no way you can pretend nothing happened. You can’t ignore the little door and the Others trapped behind it. Even if your skin breaks out in goosebumps from the overwhelming thought of everything, doing nothing is not an option. 

The clatter downstairs makes you jolt. It takes a moment for your brain to remember Chan’s message.

They’re finally home.

You throw the covers and swing your legs off the bed. It feels so relieving to hear them come home, even if loudly. From the top of the stairs, you can listen to Chan quietly scolding Changbin about making noise. The reprimands turn hushed when your bare feet pad down the hall.

“You woke her up, man.” “I didn’t mean to! Everything is still in boxes. I can’t just- ack!”

You tackle Changbin into a hug. He topples over, thudding into Chan who catches the both of you. Your feet scramble to find the ground, but your arms are so focused on clinging onto them both that your roommates have to hold you in the air briefly.

They’ve been gone for only hours, but it feels like an eternity. You’ve missed how they wrap their arms around you, bringing you into a confused, but welcomed embrace.

“Hey,” Chan speaks gently. “What’s wrong?” His fingers run in your hair, getting tangled with the knots. He carefully pulls his hand free. “Did you… take a mud bath?”

Changbin leans close to your head, sniffing your scalp. “Did you take a bath in general?”

Chan swats him on the shoulder, giving a nasty glare before his eyes turn gently to you. “You had a bad dream or something?”

And it’s one you wish you could wake up from. You wish you could tell them everything from the start, but the only thing you can do is sob. “Y-you have n-no id-dea.”

Even with the dirt and grime on you, they hug you again. Their lips and fingers smooth over your face and your hair. 

They deserve to know the truth, but you can’t bear the thought of them getting caught up in a mess that feels like your fault.

“We need to move,” you sniff. “We can’t live here.”

Changbin tucks you under his chin, leaving your backside to Chan who trails his fingertips up and down. “Why not?”

“The door. It’s haunted. Or not haunted but...” How can you explain it? "It's just not right."

You feel Changbin tense under you, but in a vulnerable moment like this, he doesn’t let his fear show more than that. “What door, baby?”

Wordlessly, you lead them to the living room. Walking towards the crawl space might have felt heavy alone, but with Chan and Changbin holding each of your hands, the steps feel easy.

You let go of them to get on your knees, digging your fingers through the crack.

“Oh.” Chan turns his head to the side. “The boarded-up door. It’s just bricks on the other side, no?”

You don’t pry it open, not yet. “I…I thought so too, but there are people on the Other Side. One night, there was this mouse-”

“Mouse?” Chan’s eyes widen. “Fuck. I knew something was gonna come out of that door. We need to call someone-”

“No. No, no, no. Just listen,” you shake your head. “It led me to the door. And there was a tunnel.”

Changbin’s eyebrow quirks up. “A tunnel?”

“Yes. Let me finish. And it led to a living room that looked like ours but wasn’t. The lights were different, there weren’t boxes, and people were living on the upper and lower levels.”

You hate how they’re looking at you. Their eyes are full of confusion, and disbelief. But worst of all, they’re looking at you as if you’re just plain crazy. 

But with everything that’s happened, maybe you are.

You’ll just have to show them. Sweat gathers on your fingers when you tug on the door, anxiously waiting to see their expression change to fear when they see what you saw. 

But when it’s open - wide and bare for all to see - it’s only bricks. 

“No. Fuck!” You slam the door frustratingly, yanking it open to see that red stone there again and again. 

“No! No! No!” SLAM. SLAM. SLAM.

The house shakes from the force. You can’t hear the echoing from the blood rushing to your ears. Your vision blurs, hot tears streaming down your face for the second time this early morning. 

Strong hands pull you away from the door and right into Changbin’s chest. 

“Stop. You’re going to hurt yourself.” But his concern doesn’t faze you. You have to yank from his grip to run past the kitchen, heading towards the front door. 

The sun peeks over the mountains when you’re outside. The air is crisp, biting at your skin that feels too hot. 

If the door won’t reveal itself, you think something else will.

“Seungmin!” Your voice echos. “Here kitty, kitty, kitty!”

Chan and Changbin follow you outside, their steps thudding until they’re in the driveway. They stand a foot behind you, looking at each other bewildered before something trembles in the bushes. 

A black cat jumps from the leaves, shaking off the stems and stretching nonchalantly. His blue eyes blink slowly, head turning from the men to you. 

What do you want?

“Jesus!” Changbin jumps. “Where the fuck did he come from?”

You ignore his question and stomp towards the cat, angrily wiping your tears. “Tell them.”

Seungmin tilts his head to one side. 

“Tell them! Tell them about the Others, the warning you gave me, anything.”

You can hear the leaves crunching quietly as Chan tiptoes to you. So slow, so delicate. As if you’re a deer that would run off.

When Seungmin says nothing, you scream. 

“Ugh! I’m trying to help you! You stupid fucking cat! Why can’t you just listen!? You guys are stuck and I can’t do anything about it if you don’t let me help!”

“Mrow.”

Chan has a hold on you before you can yell at Seungmin again. The movement makes the cat dash, little paws thudding on the ground before disappearing among the trees. You desperately whine, watching the only thing that could have helped turn into a speck in the distance.

He spins you around to face him. “What the fuck are you doing?”

You blink. Chan never talks to you like that. “I…He’s one of them.”

“One of who?”

“The Others. From the Other Side. He-”

“No. This is crazy.” Chan shakes his head. “You…Is this because we've been gone? I told you that we’re busy doing the album and that it’s gonna take until the end of the week to finish things up. Why are you doing this?”

His words make you physically recoil. You stare at him in shock, hurt evident in your eyes. “You think I’m doing this for attention?”

The tick in his jaw is enough of an answer. 

Emotions thicken your words. “You don't know what it’s like. To be alone in this fucking nightmare. You’re gone. You’re both gone all the time. And when you are home, you’re on the computer acting like I’m a nuisance. What did you call me the other day? A distraction?”

“You know I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I don't care how you meant it!” Your voice trembles. “I’m alone. I fucking hate it. You have Changbin while I lose my mind in that fucking house. And when I do need you, you’re still not here!”

Chan has you by the elbows as you wipe your tears. You expect his anger to fade into softness. He normally would whenever he sees you this upset, but his jaw hardens and it feels like the next words would only do more harm than good.

Changbin has to tug on his shoulder to break the tension. Chan’s grip loosens and Changbin stands in the middle, protectively in front of you.

“Okay. I think we need a breather. It’s late. Well… early I guess. I’m tired, you’re tired, we’re all tired.” He grabs your hand behind his back and keeps his other hand on Chan’s shoulder. “Hyung, it’s been a while since you’ve gotten good rest. Look at your eyes.”

You dare peek at Chan. You don’t know how you missed it before but the bags under his eyes are darker. They make his face hollow, drained with color.

Guilt eats at your heart.

“And you,” Bin turns around. “It’s been a while since you’ve showered, huh?”

Despite the dried tears, you scoff.

Changbin squeezes your hand. “Then that settles it. Go inside, Hyung. I’ll take care of everything.”

Chan deeply exhales. He lets you go and nods, taking a few steps back. “Thanks.”

Changbin and you are silent when he walks back into the house, the tips of his ears twinged red. Either from the cold or frustration, you aren’t sure. Changbin only turns back to you and brushes a loose strand of hair behind your ear when the door closes.

“You okay?”

No, but you don’t want to keep causing stress on your best friends. “I’ll manage. I didn’t mean to make him so mad. I ruined everything.”

Changbin’s thick fingers caress your face. “No. Don’t say that. You didn’t ruin anything. Chan’s just been really stressed. But still, he shouldn’t have talked to you like that.”

“I shouldn’t have yelled at him like that.” You sniff, holding back tears again. You know you have to apologize, but the raw emotions of fear and anger are still in the air. The only reason you’re keeping it together is because Changbin looks as though he might break if you do. 

“I just wanted you guys to believe me.”

“We do.” Changbin brushes his thumb under your eye. “But neither of us has really slept and it all just sounds…complicated.”

“Here.” Changbin intertwines his hand in yours. “We can freshen up first. I honestly need a nap, but I can be in the shower with you if you want.”

You playfully push him and laugh. Even with your knotty hair and dirty skin, Changbin would still make a move. It makes the heaviness in your chest lighter. 

“Eww. No, thank you. I can wash up on my own. You guys go to sleep and just focus on getting rest.”

Changbin pouts, but nods, leading you into the apartment. He kisses you gently once you’re in the kitchen, holding onto your waist and running his hand up and down your back. It’s just lips, but you melt anyway. It feels like forever since you’ve been held so tenderly. You have to fight the urge to tilt your head and deepen the kiss, content when Changbin pulls away and rests his forehead on yours.

“You know we’re here for you. Always.”

Showering feels like a rebirth. The water scrubs not only the dirt but the emotions with it. You feel rejuvenated in the steaming water, letting the droplets slide down your waist and the curve of your breasts.

Getting out is difficult. You miss the hot shower the moment it’s off, drying yourself and putting on plain shorts and a shirt. 

The sun is above the horizon now, bright and yellow. You stare at it from your window. A small, bitter laugh comes from you.

What a way to start the day.

You’re considering whether you should waste the day sleeping or attempting to do something productive, but there’s still frustration in your heart. Why didn’t the door show itself? 

You’re already walking out of your room and down the hall, intent on confronting it head-on. If you open the door and it’s just bricks, you’ll drop the whole thing. The Others must not want to be found, to be helped. As much as it would pain you to know they’re stuck, their choice to stay is theirs.

Skittering down the stairs, you think of an alternate plan. If the door does reveal itself, they do need help. Or something from you, at the very least. Whatever it is, you’re planning on chewing them out for making a fool of yourself first and then giving them what they want.

Standing in front of the little door with determination is new for you. A part of you is wishing that it's just bricks there. Everything, despite how terrifying it was, can be summed up as a dream. Or a hallucination in the case of the doll.

You get on your knees, shoving your fingers through the crack once again. 

“Okay. It’ll be fine.” You give yourself a quick pep talk. “You’ll open the door, see what’s there, you’ll have to apologize to-”

You open the crawl space mid-sentence, stopping when the blue tunnel unravels. Maybe you’d like to see its familiar pulsing and greeting, but anger that the shower was supposed to wash away resurfaces.

Those assholes.

-

There’s a man on the Other Side that you’ve never seen before. His hair is cut short, buttons eyes a dark blue, and piercing in a way that makes you think he hates you the moment you come out of the little door. 

But the room, the room is unrecognizable. There’s no furniture, no couches, but bugs in their place. Big, lively-looking insects that the man sits on.

A beetle couch. 

“You got a lot of nerve coming here after calling me a stupid cat. Again.” He folds his arms over his chest. “I can’t even talk if I wanted to over on that side.”

He’s the cat. He’s Seungmin. You should have known from his rude sneer and pompous attitude, but seeing him human is baffling.

“You…you made me look like an idiot.” You walk over to the bug couch, stopping at arm’s length. “I was trying to help you.”

He snorts. “Help me, yeah? By what? Yelling at me and calling me names? You dug your own grave doing that.”

He’s trying to spin it on you and it’s working. You’re reminded of how you treated Chan, of how you yelled at not just Seungmin, but a cat. Though you feel somewhat bad, you don’t have the empathy to apologize.

So Seungmin keeps talking. “I could hear you guys yelling even after I took off. Screaming at me then them. Sounds like they aren’t home enough to actually care about anything you’ve experienced.”

“That’s not true.”

“No?” Seungmin sits back, slightly spreading his legs. “Why did I hear you say something about you being alone? That they’re not there when you need them?”

If his goal is to make you feel like shit, he’s succeeding. You sit on the opposite side of the beetle couch, ignoring how the antennas flick upon your weight. 

“I was just… mad.”

Seungmin nods, tilting his head upwards. “I get it, but you must feel that way at least a little to say it.” He turns to you. “There’s always some truth in moments like those.”

You can’t look at him, not with how ashamed you feel. “I wanted them to believe me. I wanted them to help.”

“Help?”

“Help me help you. All of you.” You flail your arms to express the entire apartment. “I know you guys are stuck, Jeongin told me. I put myself on some stupid mission to free you guys, but I can’t do it alone. I didn’t mean to get so mad at them. I just wanted them to see the truth.”

You wrap your arms around yourself for comfort. The tears building in your eyes make your sight watery, and you can’t do anything but try to blink them away.

Seungmin puts a hand on your shoulder, smoothing over the sleeve of your shirt. Finally, you look at him. It’s not a glare or an annoyed look on his face, but compassion. 

Maybe he can be nice when he wants to, just like a cat.

“That is a stupid mission, but it’s kind of ironic.” He smiles. “You want to help us, but we want to help you.”

You use the back of your hand to wipe stray tears. “Help me? With what?”

“What you said earlier. It’s okay to be honest and say you’ve been lonely. The people you love get busy. They can’t make time like before. It hurts, but that’s just how things are.” He squeezes your shoulder. 

“On that side. That’s how things are on that side. But here? Time is all we have. We’re never lonely. We never need to put responsibilities first because you're our responsibility.” 

Seungmin follows the length of your arm to your hand, fiddling with your fingers when he reaches them. “We won’t ever make you feel alone. We never did.”

You let him hold your hand and bring it to his lips. Seungmin plants a gentle kiss on your knuckles, making your stomach erupt in butterflies. You’ve missed this feeling of reassurance, of being doted on. There’s not an ounce of hesitation when Seungmin leans in, inviting him wholeheartedly.

His hands cup your face to bring you closer. Even if your lips are already meeting, he can’t help but angle his head so they interlock deeper. You can taste his passion. You can feel his adoration when his tongue swipes against your bottom lip.

A plea. A quiet ask if he can go further. You love the surprising gentleness of his lips and actions. 

You respond by opening your mouth just enough for his tongue to slip in. Gently, it makes its way between your lips. The warmth has you moaning, parting your mouth even more so he can swirl on your tongue. 

His hot muscle has your eyes fluttering. It’s not desire, but yearning that builds in your stomach. You want to be taken care of. You want to let yourself be kissed and held in the most rawest form. 

Seungmin knows. He can feel your need. He lays you flat on the couch carefully. His lips are still on yours as he moves you, cupping the back of your head to place you down.

He pulls away for a brief second. “Look at you. So beautiful.”

You’d roll your eyes any other time, but you find yourself blushing instead. You didn’t know he could be so mushy. Seungmin laughs at your pink cheeks and kisses your nose, trailing down until he finds your neck.

You bare your throat to give him free roam. Under his lips, you moan and smooth your hands on his upper back. Seungmin lifts the end of your top so it reveals your belly button, looking at you questioningly.

Clothes seem to fly off your bodies. It doesn’t take long until you’re both nude, letting him cup your breasts and pinch your nipples from on top.

Your thighs rub together impatiently, slick gathering between the space but you don’t rush him. You let his buttons gawk at your tits, tongue swiping at the corner of his mouth to collect his drool.

“And these,” Seungmin pushes them together. “Can’t forget about these.”

You giggle. Seungmin’s rough hands jiggle your breasts until you can feel his erection tapping your thigh. You desperately try to get his cock to fit between your legs, but he’s distracted by how your mounds fit perfectly in his hands.

He leans down, lips ghosting over the peak of your breast. “So pretty.”

His mouth wraps around your nipple like he can’t wait any longer. Seungmin sucks and releases quickly, making the gushing between your legs double. You arch into his mouth, panting and running your fingers through his hair. 

“Ohh. Just like that.” 

Seungmin hums appreciatively. His tongue flicks over your nipple repeatedly. The simultaneous smoothness and roughness of it make you tremble. Your other nipple isn’t completely ignored. His fingers twist and tug until you squeal.

And when his teeth come to play, you thrust your hips. Your thighs can only provide pressure, but not direct stimulation. You can’t touch your clit from your legs being so tightly pressed together. Seungmin lets you whine from pulsing need, giggling with your nipple between his teeth.

“You want something?” His cocky smile looks sexy with your bud in his mouth. You’d knock it off his face if you could, but you pout instead. 

He bites harder, making you squeal. “Seungmin!”

“I can’t read your mind, baby. Why don’t you tell this stupid cat what you want?”

He laughs at your red face. Seungmin switches to the next boob to give the same treatment.

Until you answer him, he’ll stay on your chest even with his cock dripping on your thigh.

The swollen nipple that was just in his mouth gets twisted by his fingers. You don’t have to look at it to know it’s red and puffy, but you glance down anyway. Seungmin’s already ravishing your unbruised boob, ignoring your cries of sensitivity from your other one. 

There’s not a chance you can stand another second of his mouth. “Seung.”

His eyes look up, but his mouth doesn’t stop sucking.

“I…I want you to touch me.”

Seungmin pinches your nipple harder. Chills erupt on your skin from the painful pleasure and you have to hold your breath to keep yourself from screaming.

“My pussy! I want you to touch my pussy.”

Finally, he pops off your nipple. Saliva clings to his lips that he swipes with his tongue. “Mhm.”

Seungmin sits up, letting you get a good view of his body. His torso narrows at the waist and doesn’t expand much more at the shoulders. His chest is flushed pink with his nipples erect and dark. The v-line on his stomach is dainty, pleading with you to trace it.

But he’s too out of reach for you to grab. Instead, you rub your breasts soothingly, tapping your nipples to get jolts of pleasure coursing through your body. 

Seungmin grabs the base of his cock and strokes himself. He angles the head so it lines with your entrance, but rather than pushing in, he slides it against your cunt. You look down to watch it grind on your stomach, the tip stopping below your belly button. His thumbs spread your pussy apart so he can properly grind against you.

The stimulation is jaw-dropping. It feels like you’ve been leaking for hours. The pleasure is so good that your stomach aches from how hard you clench.

Seungmin ends up pushing your lips together so they curve around the head of his cock. Your clit can feel every vein and curve. Arousal drips from your hole that clenches emptily. When you said you wanted him to touch you, you meant a lot more than that.

“Please, Seungmin. Just fuck me.”

He grins. “There it is.”

With a hand steading on your hip and the other holding his cock, Seungmin slides low enough for his tip to catch your entrance. You think he might miss a few times from how wet you are, but the glide is smooth.

He opens you up just right. The crown of his head stretches you deliciously, narrowing just slightly before thickening down the rest of his length.

You grab onto the couch, terrifyingly reminded of its insect nature when it twitches in response.

Seungmin takes his time bottoming you out. It feels like miles before he goes as deep as he can get, lifting your legs so he can press his pelvis flush against you.

“Oh, fuck.” Seungmin’s buttons glisten. “Been fucked so many times and you’re still so tight.” 

He pulls out and goes back in, making you switch to your boobs again and squeezing. Your mouth forms an ‘o’ shape when he tries to set a pace. Your brain has to catch up with the pleasure your body is feeling. Moaning doesn’t yet sound when you can’t even breathe from his cock filling you.

With your legs wrapping around his waist, Seungmin leans down. Now, you finally have something to scratch on. Fingernails find his back and you dig them into his skin, hearing him hiss in your neck.

“I haven’t even started fucking you and you’re clawing me up.” He sounds prideful. “You are a bad fucking kitty.”

Seungmin cackles when he repeats Minho’s words verbatim. You can’t even focus with his cock pounding in your walls, but you do somewhat recall how eager you were to be a pet for Minho and Felix. 

Pleasure finally registers when Seungmin fucks deep. You can feel his tip kissing your cervix, daring to break past the barrier and touch the back of your throat instead. His cock is so hot inside you, searing your insides in the best way possible.

You moan loudly. It’s hard to stop once you start. Sounds of desire tumble from your lips with every thrust. You can feel the veins of his length sliding in and out, the head always staying inside you before pounding in. His hands on your waist have you slam onto his cock, making his dick feel impossibly deep.

His nose touches yours, eyes locking with your mouth agape. Seungmin looks at your drooly lips for a brief second before kissing you again.

It reminds you of the garden yesterday. Where Jisung was messy and desperate, Seungmin is sure and confident. He doesn’t even blink when your teeth clash together. His focus is on keeping your mouth on his while his hips thrust wildly.

You can’t keep your ankles crossed for much longer. Seungmin’s pounds are so strong that they force them apart. He lets go of your waist with one hand and places it on the back of your thigh instead, spreading them further for more access. 

The new angle has you seeing stars. You can feel how your cunt swallows him whole, squelching with every intrusion. His cock hits the upper part of your walls, grinding on a gummy spot that makes you pant in his mouth.

“Fffuucckk. Right there. Right there. Pleasepleaseplease.”

Blunt fingernails dig into the underside of your thigh. Seungmin must feel how hard you're clenching and how much softer your pussy has gotten from his relentless pistons. He can’t suck on your tongue when it’s your cunt that keeps sucking him in.

“Yeah? Yeah, you like it right here?” Seungmin’s hot breath fans over your face. “Gonna cum on my cock?”

You nod, letting your head bobble at will. White pleasure builds and builds in your tummy at a pace you can’t keep up with. It makes you squeal overwhelmingly from the sheer amount but Seungmin doesn’t stop. His cock keeps hitting that spot until your fingers find his hair.

“Oh, fuck yes. I’mma cum so good on your cock. Don’t stop, Seungmin.”

Half of you expects him to pull out. It wouldn’t be out of his character to halt his own pleasure to ruin yours, but it turns out that Seungmin can listen well. 

He groans when you tug on his hair, managing to keep his pace despite the dull pain. You can hear the slap of his balls against you from his efforts. 

Your eyes roll so far your head tilts back. All you can do is gasp when the pleasure bursts from its bubble. Suddenly, his pumps send you on overload. The veiny texture of his cock has you gushing more than you bargained for. As good as he fucks into you, the unbearable slams has your vision seeing black dots.

“Yeah. Yeah. I love that fucking look in your eyes. Makes me wanna fuck you harder.”

You don’t know where his burst of energy comes from. You’re still trying to find your sanity and come down from your high when he pulls so far back that his tip almost slips out before ramming back in.

Your head lifts to see him bullying into your cunt. You clit peeks from under your hood, you can see the messy arousal on your inner thighs, and your lips are so swollen. There’s not much more you can take, but when you feel his cock twitch you know he’s close.

Still, you yank on his hair in desperation. “S-Seung- I’m…I’m-”

“Come on. Take it. Take it. I know you can.” Sweat drips down his forehead. “You’ve been doing so good. Don’t tell me to stop now.”

Seungmin’s praises are like music to your ears. You swallow your words and let yourself moan instead, embracing the fire in your pussy and chest. 

It only grows hotter when his thrusts turn erratic. Your walls feel like jelly when you leak from the overstimulation. Your hips spasm under Seungmin when he fucks harder. He sits on his haunches and puts your legs in the air, chasing his orgasm that’s only seconds away. 

“In your pussy, yeah? Fuck yeah. Just the look in your eyes says it all.” He moans. Seungmin stills his hips inside before his cum pours out.

He puts his hand on your lower abdomen and presses down. You scream from the pressure, feeling his cock tenfold spilling in you. Your legs shake in the air so violently that Seungmin has to wrap his fingers around your ankles.

It feels like slow motion when he pulls out. The head of his cock makes your cunt stretch and pulse one last time before it slips, slapping wetly against his stomach and dripping with arousal.

You’re panting like an animal, eyes unfocused as you watch him catch his breath. His skin feels hot and sticky when he leans down to wrap his arms around you. It’s only a little uncomfortable, but you welcome his touch regardless.

Seungmin waits until your breathing is almost normal, playing mindlessly with your hair. 

You glance at him to see him beaming, smiling ear to ear. It's infectious, and there's a ghost of a grin on your lips. “What are you so happy about?”

He shrugs, pulling you closer. His hand moves from your hair to your arm. “You know. Just that you're staying.”

“Staying?” You draw back. The post-orgasm fades a little too quickly for your liking. “When did I say I was staying?”

His navy-blue buttons aren’t threatening at all, unlike his words. He’s happy, shining with joy. “You didn’t have to say it. I told you; If you come back here again, we won’t let you leave.”

[sleepydcpeach]

just unfair (1) | barry allen⚡

A//N - I didn't think I'd have so much to write about this so this will be a series. My first piece, I have written on Tumblr before but not much. Kinda getting back into the swing of things

warnings are posted for all chapters to come so this chapter is only a few small warnings, mostly angst

“Let me guess, you didn’t wait for orders again and got yourself hurt.” The man in the red suit flashed you a half-hearted smile as he clutched at his side. It seemed to always be the same story with Barry. Finding some way to end up on your table with stitches, bandages, burn cream, whatever it was he seemed to be a target quite often. 

“This is going to hurt a bit, I need to dress your ribs.” You explained as he leaned back, his suit torn and his skin ripped. 

“Actually, this time, it was something more along the lines of a tree got in my way and trying to go around it and not through it was a lot harder to do than I thought.” You winced at the thought of the impact that would’ve occurred. You began to dab at the wound with warm saline and a towel. 

Listening to him go on and on like always, his ramblings were something you had grown accustomed to over the months of knowing Barry. 

“Next time you should watch out and listen to me, you’re no help if you’re dead.” Bruce had walked in and made himself known by critisising his squad member. 

“How else was I supposed to get her attention.” He grinned at you before screwing his eyes shut in pain at the motion of you cleaning his wound. You shook your head in disapproval but couldn’t hide the smirk that creeped across your lips. 

“Get your head on right, before someone gets hurt.” Bruce turned and stormed out, you wanted to say something but bit your lips in an attempt to keep your opinion to yourself. 

“Just say it.” Barry broke the awkward silence as he recognised the same expression you always had on your face. 

“Say what?” You shrugged as you began placing the dressing on his wound, being very gentle and careful not to press on it. 

“You can’t hide it doll, I can see it on your face every time I’m in here with you. You think I’m being reckless.” He said it all actually, it just didn’t feel like it was your place to say that to him. 

“When you say it like that you make me sound like I’m the bad guy. I just think, maybe you should be more considerate about how you do things. I can’t help but wonder when the day you come back half dead will be. Or if you even come back at all.” Your heart began to pound against your ribs, anxiety running high as word vomit came out. 

“Tell me how you really feel doll.” He teased as he sat up, adjusting himself so slightly in that skin-tight suit. You mentally flogged yourself for taking notice of something dirty in this moment. 

“I’m sorry, I just care about you all and don’t want to see anyone get badly hurt. There’s only so much I can do.” You began cleaning your bench, placing his dirty, bloody rags in the bin and steralising your workspace. 

Barry always saw the envy you had in your eyes for everyone, their powers and abilities to save the world. He could always tell how badly you wanted to be able to do what they do, but he was thankful you didn’t. The idea of you having powers and at potential risk to lose your life saving someone, he hated to even think it but he was selfish enough to be glad you didn’t. You were just the Justice League nurse. 

“So aftercare doc, should I be taking anything? Avoiding anything?”

“Like you even listen to me anyways. No working out, no running at supersonic speed, and make sure you’re careful getting that dressing wet and cleaning it. I’d recommend baths instead of showers to avoid too much exposure to oxygen.” 

“Only if you join me.” The pink tint on your cheeks was your weakness, you could never hide your embarrassment, your thoughts. Barry walked out, being very careful not to strain himself too much as he made his way to his room. 

You allowed yourself to take a minute and catch your breath, your thighs beginning to gather sweat and arousal as they rubbed together in slight desperation. The thought of Barry taking a hot bath with you, bodies pressed against one another. You needed to stop yourself from letting your imagination take it further. 

“Hey doc, how was he?” Canary was always hanging around you, she was the only one who made you feel better on your bad days, besides Barry. She also knew right away when you started to fall for him, constantly finding ways to put you two together. Christmas parties, New Years, she even got you guys to be each others New Years kiss one year but it was nothing crazy. 

“Same old flirt, I gotta stop letting him do it. It just eggs me on to like him more.” You double washed your hands after removing your gloves, feeling squeaky clean again and finally back to a clean sterile area. 

“You need to do something to show him you’re interested as well. Like the same idea I’ve been suggesting for months now.” You rolled your eyes at her idea, it was too risky, too much on the line for you. It was enough to ruin everything between you and Barry and you weren’t sure what that would mean for your job either. 

“I’m just saying, some lingerie, some dirty music, handcuffs—” You bolted towards the door, slamming it shut in attempt to stop any conversation reaching anyone’s ears. Canary wasn’t exactly the quietest person when it came to these conversations. 

“Everyone knows about it, he isn’t this way with the others. You’ve seen it yourself, he has a thing for you.” 

“I don’t want it to just be a thing Canary! I need to know there’s more there than just want, need and lust. Otherwise what is the point?” You didn’t like raising your voice but it couldn’t be helped sometimes. 

The intercom beeped and Bruce’s voice was heard overhead. 

“Dinner is ready.” You and Canary left without another word to each other, but your eyes said it all. 

Dinner flew by quickly, everyone conversing about their recent victory in battle, sharing their personal hits and wins was something you always enjoyed listening too. It made you feel like you were there as well with them. You had requested to come with them in field to take care of them if they ever got injured but Bruce and Superman didn’t like that idea. 

Everyone was at the table eating but Barry hadn’t come down yet, you almost felt like he was avoiding you. But you chose to bury that feeling deep down. 

“Hey doc, why don’t you take Barry’s dinner to him. He’s probably caught up watching something.” Hal smirked at you, everyone seemed to be away of your feelings for him and took advantage of embarrassing you when they could. Canary threw her breadroll at Hal to shut him up. You paid no attention and grabbed the plate of almost cold food now, walking down the corridor to his room and knocking lightly. 

The door opened before you finish knocking, Barry standing before you with dripping wet hair. His sweats hung loosely around his waist, a small blonde trail of hair from his navel sneaking under the band of his sweats. It wasn’t the first time you had caught him like this, but he seemed to enjoy torturing you with it. You audibly gulped at the sight, a fresh bandage wrapped around his torso. 

“Well took you long enough.” He smirked, allowing you to step into his room and watching you place his food down on his nightstand. You avoided any eye contact with him, worried he’d see right through you. 

“I thought you might be hungry. It’s important you rest and fuel your body in order to get better. You won’t be going back into the field until you’ve recovered to my standard. When I give you clearance then you can return.” You watched his brows furrow as his door slammed shut. 

“I think in this case I don’t think you have that authority to decide that dollface.” You cringed but melted at his pet name he loved to call you. It was better than everyone calling you doc. You weren’t really a doctor, you were technically a nurse but you had become their full time medic after Bruce found you on the streets years ago. 

It was a tough time but you managed to fight through it all and get to a great place in life where you weren’t anxious or fearing about where your next meal would come from, where you would sleep for the night. 

“Actually I spoke with Bruce and he agreed with me. So if you have an issue then you can take it up with him. You’re not wriggling out of this one Flash.” You rarely used his hero name, it only happened when having a professional conversation with him and it seemed appropriate to do so. 

You didn’t notice the way he had slinked closer to you in the moments of discussion, the way your back had met the wall without a thought as he cornered you. His frame was much larger than the average guy you’d know, muscles and veins covered his body from head to toe, it only made you think about what was hidden behind those pants. 

You needed to get your mind out of the gutter, but the way he was closing in on you made both your heartbeats throb in sync. 

“I’ll make you a deal doll, you sleep in my bed with me for a week while I recover and I won’t even touch my suit.” You almost jumped up and down with glee screaming yes over and over again but you didn’t want to seem eager nor were you sure he was being serious. It was always hard to tell with Barry. 

“A week? You won’t be back on your feet for at least 3 weeks.”

“3 weeks it is then. What do you say doll? Deal?” He leaned against the wall, one arm holding him up on his good side as he flashed you the toothiest grin he possibly could. Eyes slightly darkening as they searched for your answer in your eyes. 

“Okay but we need some ground rules first.” You weren’t sure what he was trying to do or if you did know and just didn’t want to get too far ahead of yourself. 

“Number one, you have to be naked.”

“What!?” You covered your mouth at your own outburst, worried someone might overhear. 

“Thems the rules dollface, I sleep naked all the time. Think of it as winter training, your body regulates more heat from being naked.” You rolled your eyes, of course he was mansplaining health advice to the nurse. You moved around him, careful not to bump him and taking a seat on his bed. It felt weird, you were rarely ever in his room. Not for this long anyways unless he had run off with something of yours to stir you up. 

“Rules, clothes are always to remain on. Two, pillow wall is not to be crossed.” 

“Pillow wall?” He raised a brow, arms crossing his chest and his arms bulging, you wanted to wrap your legs around him and have him fuck you against the wall until you forgot your own name. 

“Yes a pillow wall. I don’t like people in my space. Three, lights out at ten. Ten-thirty at the latest. I am on a very strict routine. Any questions?” You pointed your finger at him in a demanding manner, hoping your serious face wouldn’t faulter. 

“How clothed is clothed?” You threw a pillow at him in frustration before storming out of his room, hearing his laugh boom down the hallway after you. 

‘Week One’

As promised you held up your end of the deal with Barry, agreeing to sleep in his bed with him for the next 21 days when he was deemed fit. You weren’t sure why you agreed to it, well that wasn’t true. You agreed because this was the first time you felt you had a chance to find out how he really felt about you besdies the harmless flirting and random compliments. 

You made your welcome known, bringing in your own pillows even though he argued his pillows were better. You just knew he didn’t like the pink crowding his room. 

“Hey this is what you agreed to.” Was all you argued when he continued to complain about his room now being 80% pink. You had made yourself at home, and you knew he already regretted it. After spending most of your day moving everything into his room and bathroom you finally got to relax. Laying down on the soft mattress that soothed your sore back, you almost forgot he was laying right next to you. 

“So should we talk bathroom schedule? Because this bathroom doesn’t lock, so if you’re taking too long in there and I need to be, you’re gonna be in for a treat.” You tried not to shade pink at the thought of his cock being pulled out right in front of you. Even if it wasn’t for the reason you wanted. 

“I’ll try not to hog the bathroom, but please knock at least to give me time to either run out or cover my eyes. I don’t need to be scarred by your micropenis.” You giggled as you watched his jaw drop. 

“I’ll have you know that I’m very well endowed. Don’t make me whip it out just for you doll.” You so badly wanted him to pull it out, you tried to think of something else to change the subject. 

“So your wound will need to be redressed every two days after this week and then after the next week we’ll see how it goes without a dressing and go from there. It needs a bit of exposure to help it heal. It shouldn’t be too bad though.” You wanted to move on and just let yourself settle for a bit, still feeling on edge about laying in the same bed as Barry. 

“Sounds good doll, you feel like watching a movie? Nothing girly, but I’ll let you pick. And I’ll fix us some snacks—ugh.” You were quick to stop Barry from getting up, grabbing hold of his bicep and stomach to hold him and slowly pull him back down to the comfort of his pillows. 

“Okay big guy, you definitely need to be taking it easy. I’ll fix us some snacks, and get you something for the pain as well. Wait here and pick something, but it has to be a romcom at least.” His gleeful smile turned into a pouty face at your request for a movie. You made your way to the kitchen, looking through drawers and cupboards to see what was available to eat. Something carb loaded and full of sugar or salt. 

“Day one, boy are you guys gonna be annoying to live with for the next few weeks.” You didn’t notice Hal standing there with Martian and Kendra eyeing you down as you happily waddled into the kitchen. 

“Annoying how?” 

“Like I wanna hear you two fucking all the time. My room is right next to his, the last thing I need to hear is ‘keep thrusting your micropenis in me’ all night.” You knew Hal was just trying to get everyone to laugh at him and pick on you. It made you a little stung actually that he was poking fun at Barry, that was your right only. 

“Actually I think you’d hear something a bit more along the lines of ‘oh fuck! Oh fuck! Yes right there Barry! Fuck! Fuck me harder Barry, fuck me just like that please! I’m cumming! I’m cumming—”

“Whose coming?” You jumped at Barry’s voice from behind you, yelping as you slammed your back against the fridge. 

“What are you doing up? You need to be resting.” You growled as you got up in his space, pointing your finger at him in a demanding manner. 

“Well it wasn’t fair that the person you were pretending to fuck wasn’t in the room. So thought I’d come join and see what I’m in for.” You grabbed the band of his pants, pulling him out of the room and back to his own bed. 

“I loved hearing you scream my name by the way, that’s something I’d only ever dreamed of.” You wanted to slap him, you had never been so humiliated before. Your eyes actually began burning from losing sensation and tears beginning to brim. You let go of Barry, standing with your back facing him and slightly hunched over. It went quiet, really quiet. He stopped talking when he noticed you weren’t moving or reacting anymore. 

“Dollface I didn’t—I wasn’t trying to make you upset. I thought we were kidding around. I wouldn’t actually expect anything from you just cause we are sharing a bed.” The silence was louder than anything you’d heard. You felt him touch your shoulder, he had never seen you cry before. Not directly, instead of allowing him to apologuse and comfort you, you chose to lock yourself in your office. 

Barry knew he could’ve stopped you from doing so, his ability to outrun you his advantage. But he didn’t want to hurt you more than he already had. 

You had been hidden in your office for majority of the day, Barry had tried knocking and getting you to come out but when he got no response chose to leave you alone. Everyone tried, Canary, Martian, even Bruce when he got back from his mission. When they realised they weren’t going to get you out of there they decided to wait it out. 

“She’s been in there all day, no food. Nothing. I don’t know what to do.” 

“Have you thought maybe using that thick head of yours to-I don’t know-apologise sincerely? Maybe pour your heart out a little so she can see you’re vulnerable.” 

“Vulnerable?” Kendra rolled her eyes, feeling like she was talking to a brick wall she gestured for him to leave and go try you again. 

You had been reorganising your drawers and cabinets, something that just made you feel a bit better when things were tough. Barry knocked on your door once again, waiting for a minute to hopefully hear your voice or at least the lock click. 

“Doll…please let me in. I really just want you to know, I care about you. I appreciate you and I never meant to make you feel humiliated or bad about what I said. It wasn’t right. I love you like you’re my own blood you know?” His own blood. He felt about you the way he would a sister, or a mother. Not a potential lover, a potential girlfriend or wife even. It hurt, it really did but you didn’t want to keep punishing him. 

You clicked the door, opening it and he practically threw himself onto you. Arms so big and snug, it made you feel safe and warm. His nose pressed against your neck, inhaling your scent and releasing a sigh of relief. You couldn’t not forgive him, but you were hesistant about sharing a bed with him now that nothing would ever come of it. 

But maybe this was your chance to change his mind about you. So it would seem that Canary’s idea might just work after all. 

[cairavende]

Worm Arc 18 thoughts:

Well that sure just happened

I'm fine

Noelle ate my daughter. But I'm fine. It's fine.

Her girlfriends are gonna save her!

I'm fiiiiine

Anyway, that's like, the end of the arc so there's a lot of other stuff that happens!

Taylor casually drops that she's mostly blind in conversation and Brian kinda freaks out. Understandably.

She got eye drops that she is supposed to be doing but never mentions doing them. I'm very disappointed in her. I'm also worried her eyes aren't going to ever get better.

I do love that the moment Dinah says she only has a 58% chance of going home and Taylor realizes it's because of her, she forces the situation by taking Dinah home right away. She is far from perfect, but she does have her moments.

RACHEL LET DINAH PET HER DOG!!!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! LOOK AT THE GROWTH!!

One of my favorite lines, when Taylor asks Dinah the chance of trouble before they go into the medical clinic "When there's trouble, it's you.  Eighty percent of the time." Just, kinda embodies the spirit of Worm I think.

I'm still fine.

Taylor sure thinks about Rachel as Rachel a lot now, instead of mostly as Bitch. GAAAAAY.

I really want to know what's on those papers Dinah left for Taylor. Triumph saw them but didn't seem to react. One might have been a message for him, since Dinah would know he would see it. Something that will come into play later maybe.

I love Parian making a giant wiener dog for everyone to ride on. Like, it is a definite upgrade in transportation from "door with glass stuck in it dragged down the street" but it doesn't have much of a supervillain vibe to it.

Noelle just starts it off with grabbing possibly the strongest cape available in Brockton Bay. At a minimum, one of the most versatile to clone. No big deal. Not like even just normal Vista could become very dangerous if she wanted to be evil.

Freaking PRT all "this is a Class A instead of a Class S cause Eidolon is a big man baby and needs to punch something all on his own to prove he's strong". Sure are helping people Alexandria. Good job. What a hero.

I think Eidolon is Bargain Bin Scion. Scion Lite. Blue Light Special Scion. A shitty version of Scion created by Cauldron basically.

Clockblocker is so fucking fascinated with Skitter it's amazing.

Tattletale made Eidolon maaaaaad! I love her.

I'm perfectly fine.

The scene with meeting the Chicago Wards, oh god I loved it so much! Skitter tells Bitch to clear the plywood out of a window and she just instantly fucking kicks it open, then a giant swarm comes in and swirls around everyone and covers Skitter, making her hair move and trailing bugs behind her like a gown, and then starts speaking with the swarm. And Tattletale waits until the perfect moment before asking the Wards their names and powers, very clearly backing Skitter up as her 2nd. Just such a "ok I was playing nice but now I need you to know who you are working with!" power move. Fucking amazing. Also it was Skitter being assisted by Bitch and Tattletale! GAAAAAAAAAAAY!! LESBIAN SUPERVILLAIN POWER POLYCULE!

I think Grace has neat powers but could have been more creative with her name. I fucking love Tecton though, assume tinker. Dude has got to love fights like this, where he is allowed to do all the property damage he wants. He'd make a good villain.

The other two are kinda neat too but they didn't last very long.

Every time they are going anywhere Bitch specifically offers Skitter a ride. GAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!

I love seeing the range of power adjustments the clone Vistas get. Some are pretty basic - can do stuff from farther away or not be slowed down if a lot of people are around - but then we get ones like Paper Mario Vista and Imagine Dragons Vista, with much more wild powers.

Everyone stand back while Eidolon goes and shows us all how strong he is! God.

I'm 100% FINE.

Side effect of being blinded probably, but it is neat how good Taylor is getting at listening, and sometimes even seeing, through her bugs! Just listening in on Eidolon and Noelle from blocks away.

Imp almost gets crushed to death by Eidolon's gravity power cause she ignores warnings from Skitter to run. Sounds about right.

Noelle making rat clones and bug clones (that Skitter can't control) is fun.

Fucking projectile vomit attack suddenly! Did Noelle absorb the girl from the Exorcist??

Texas Wards kinda getting their ass kicked. (Also what the hell is going on in Texas that the whole state apparently just has the one Wards team, vs most places have a Ward team per city?)

Fight is going kinda poorly. Travelers show up to help! And then Trickster betrays everyone to feed my daughter to Noelle! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm fine.

The Most Powerful Man in the World Interlude thoughts:

Scion just really is empty in there isn't he?

Not a person, just a construct of the entities in 3 dimensional space. Sphere moving through Flatland and being seen as a circle style. No mind, just does what this guy tells him.

Duke is a very good dog.

Kevin talking about Scion 100% sounds like someone talking about a lover that has been lots of trouble for them but that they just can't quite.

Lisette is having a weird day.

I really wonder how the next Endbringer attack is going to go now that Scion has been told to kill them. Wonder if it'll be different.

Crusader Interlude thoughts:

Shockingly, it turns out that the Nazi is an asshole. News at 11.

Night and Fog were basically constructed by this Gesellschaft group. Seems like a branch of Cauldron pretending to be Nazis for more control over things. Or maybe not directly a branch of Cauldron, but they get powers from Cauldron. Maybe not related, but they make weapons, which is very much what Cauldron can do, and we haven't seen anyone else yet reliably make powers with control over the outcome.

This poor TA is having a bad day.

Taylor triggered 2 or more times in that locker. I was 100% positive of that the second the TA said "You can’t really distinguish a single trigger event from having two in quick succession." I probably should have realized this earlier.

Really curious where Theo and Aster's stories are going. I could see one or both of them being a major part of the end of the world (based on stuff from Trickster's visions on stuff from Noelle's interlude I'm thinking a 3rd or 4th generation cape might play a part in it), but I could also see them being red herrings.

Theo is upset but realistically getting abandoned and left with the PRT is the best option that could have happened to him.

Jessica Yamada Interlude thoughts:

This poor woman

Faultline Interlude thoughts:

OH MY GOD Gregor and Shamrock are super fucking cute together!!!!

Faultline is amazing and very organized and detail oriented and an assertive leader who wears a dress shirt with slacks and cowboy boots and threatens to get a bullwhip and I would really like her to tell me what to do k thx.

Not positive I would trust the minor precog abilities of Shamrock to make me Simurgh proof, but it's better than nothing.

The quarantine zone of the city of Madison is doing great!

Wasn't expecting to get to see Matroyshka again, that's neat! She should probably stop eating people but otherwise she's fun.

Faultline just not being able to stand Tattletale is wonderful. I hope they bother each other for years to come.

I like this crew, so I was not happy that they got really fucked up by Contessa. But I also want to like Contessa (as much as I can like someone who works for Cauldron) and this did make her seem really badass.

Noelle Interlude thoughts:

I'm fine.

Regent keeping up the jokes under pressure, good for him.

Finally got some good descriptions of Noelle's powers doing stuff which was very good.

I'm fine.

Also fun to see various clones and their powers.

AND THE VISION! OH MY GOD THE VISION! So much good info from that. It helped me get a much better idea of things and confirmed a lot of things I already thought. (Like Cauldron has basically hijacked an entity, more or less. Not the details on how though.)

I'm fine.

The fact that Noelle can let the god dandruff take control is interesting. Like her connection never got fully closed compared to other people. Which is what I assumed only taking half a vial did. Really curious to see if we ever get more info on Oliver.

Her Earth Bet self is like, 15 years younger. But still has the same name. Kinda wild.

I'm fine.

Also her Earth Bet dad gave her the name Echidna, which like, I get it's the mother of monsters or whatever, but I can only think of the cute adorable little creature!

I'm fine.

I obviously wish Eidolon had been able to defeat Noelle and save my daughter but him having a big sad about it not being fair that he can't get stronger is pretty funny too. I do not like the guy.

I'm fine.

I'm sure Tattletale has a plan and everything will work out.

I'm fine.

I'm 100% absolutely fine.

[dazed--xx]

🌅Someone You Loved🌅

Summary: Now the day bleeds, Into nightfall; And you're not here, To get me through it all. I let my guard down; And then you pulled the rug…..I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

Member: Changbin x Reader

T/W: Friend Break Up(cause romantic break ups ain't the only type that is heartbreaking), arguments, crying, heartbreak, ANGST…, swearing, yelling, sad ending, ghosting, problem avoidance, flirty behavior, mentions of one night stand, mentions of friend with benefits relationships, innuendos, brutal honesty

Word Count: 3.2K

I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to save me. This all or nothing really got a way of driving me crazy. I need somebody to heal, Somebody to know, Somebody to have, Somebody to hold; It's easy to say, But it's never the same…..

“You sure you don't want me to just kick his ass?” Changing questions with a frustrated groan. You sat on your bed, shaking your head as you chuckled. “For canceling a date? Bin, that's pretty irrational….” Changing sucked his teeth as he caressed your cheek softly, his thumb brushing over your bottom lip “He canceled 10 minutes before he was supposed to pick you up. You're hotter than him and he basically stood you up. Why am I more upset about this than you are?” Changing questions in disbelief. You roll your eyes, your hand wrapping around his wrist pulling his hand from your cheek. Changing takes your hand in his, and you feel your heart race at his action.

As you look into your best friend's eyes you let out a heavy sigh “Cause I didn't expect too much from him in to begin with. We were only going on this stupid date because our parents set it up in the first place. I'm not worried about it.” Changing scoffs in response “Doesn't mean you weren't excited….” you smirk at him and wink “Is that jealousy I'm hearing?” you lean into his frame so your chests are almost touching. Changbin counters by brushing his nose over yours his hand wrapping around your waist as he pulls you into him. “You wish…” He states with a wink as he pulls away from you.

You try to fight the blush that creeps in your cheeks as you lean across your bed grabbing a throw pillow and tossing it at Changbin. “Not fair! You caught me off guard!” you whine as he catches the pillow just before it hits him in the face “Hey! Weapons is cheating! And it's not my fault you're an easy target…” Changbin smirks.

“You're an ass, why do I hang out with you?”

“Because you love me.” Changbin chides as he kisses your cheek softly. He pats your shoulder as he pulls on his jacket “But I gotta go so I'll see you later, brat. Since you were stood up go to Yaris party tonight. She won't shut up about it” You nod at his words giving him a side hug before he makes his way out of your room closing the door behind him.

As soon as you're alone you hold your cheek with a shy smile. Your face grows a bright shade of scarlet as you place your hand on your chest. Your heart races as that familiar giddy feeling fills you. Changbin had been your best friend for years now and in that time you’d grown to adore and enjoy every part of his flirtatious and kind personality. He'd always known how to make you feel special and understood; it was no surprise when you realized your feelings for him, two years ago. Not wanting to ruin your friendship you opted to crush on him silently and love him from afar. But recently, he's been way more…..excited? Forward? Interested? You weren't sure but what you did know, was he seemed brighter recently. He walked with his head held higher and his eyes shined brighter, and you felt selfish hoping you were the reason for that.

For so long, Changbin had been your rock, your support system, and your laughter; you hoped eventually things would progress into something more one day. You had been with him through relationships and hobbies, the changing of the seasons, and family events. You prayed that your involvement in his lift cemented your place in his heart. If things continued to go this well, hopefully you'd confess soon.

I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain. Now the day bleeds into nightfall, and you're not here to get me through it all. I let my guard down, and then you pulled the rug…….

The music blared through the speakers. A sea of sweaty bodies dancing and shoving each other as you danced with your friend, Yari. She gripped your hand as she pulled you away from the crowd and made her way toward the kitchen. You laugh enthusiastically as you shuffle around the sea of people making out or talking until you finally make it into the kitchen. Yari smiled brightly at two handsome guys, giving them bright smiles as she pulled them into tight hugs. One stood with an awkward smile as Yari kept her arms wrapped around his neck. His tall stature making her stand on her toes, the other guy chuckled as he shook his head. His plump lips wrapped around the rim of the red solo cup as he takes a sip of what you could only assume was beer. “Oh my god! You came!” Yari beams cheerfully. “Y/N this is Soobin…” she gestures to the guy she was currently clinging to then extends her left hand to the other guy “and that's Yeonjun” you smile at both the boys kindly.

Your interest is peaked when the one Yari introduced as Yeonjun blushes slightly as his plump lips curl into a charming smile. “Hey…” He greets his voice oozing confidence and charisma. Your cheeks heat up “H-hey…” you stammer shyly. You reach over to the fridge pulling out a bottle of beer. Your irritation grows when you feel someone shove into you from behind; a soft feminine voice calls from behind you “Binnie, be careful…” I turn around with confusion etched onto my features as I'm greeted by the sight of my best friend. I laugh in realization “You know I almost killed you right?” you joke. Changbin scoffs as he crosses his arms over his chest “You'd have to catch me first”

“Is that a challenge?”

“For someone that spends negative twenty minutes exercising all her life?” He prods his eyebrow raised when the same petite voice calls from beside Changbin. Only then did you notice the pixie-like girl who stood beside your best friend. She stood at what looked like a firm 5 foot 3, with a curvy build. Her cheeks were full and prominent. Her brown hair laid beautifully straight down her back. Her most distinguishable feature was the clear Heterochromia she had. Her left eye sat with a chocolate brown color but her right eye was a vibrant sapphire blue. She looked almost like something out of a video game. “You must be Y/N, Binnie talks about you all the time” She giggles as she extends her hand toward you cheerfully “I'm Im Ae-Ra” She introduces, you stare at her hand dumbfounded for a moment before taking hold of it and greeting her “Y-Yeah…I'm Y/N” you laugh awkwardly. “It's nice to meet you, though a little heads up would have been nice…” you grit as you glare at Changbin who mouths an apology. Ae-ra smiles brightly as she wraps her arm around Changbin’s waist. You stare at her in confusion.

Who was she?

Why is she all over Changbin?

Why is she calling him Binnie?

Your heart sinks as Changbin wraps his arm around her waist pulling her close as he kisses her cheek “So, Babe, this is my best friend, and Y/N this is my girl” Changbin introduces haphazardly as he grabs two beers out of the fridge behind you. You shuffle so that you're leaning on the counter; feeling jealousy bubble in your gut as you notice the hint of scarlet decorating Ae-ra’s cheeks.

His girl? What type of fuckboy—you think to yourself—when the hell?

You can't help the confused scowl on your expression as Changbin hands Ae-ra a beer; whispering something in her ear which makes her giggle. You felt your blood boil as the pair continued to flirt in front of you. Your attention is pulled away from the pair when you feel someone's arm resting on your back as their hand sits on the counter behind you. You look to the right following the arm only to come face-to-face with Yeonjun. Your eyes widen slightly as you notice his proximity. A blush forms in your cheeks as you take in his devilishly handsome looks. “Sorry, my phone is next to you..” He smirks, his voice is sultry as he leans in a little closer and your heart pounds in your chest. He gives you a flirty smile as he removes his hand from behind your back, revealing his phone now in his grasp “Yeonjun…” He introduces again “In case you didn't catch my name…” he explains with a seductive smirk.

“Y-Y/N…” you stammer.

“I know…” Your heart almost races out of your chest as he takes his thick bottom lip in between his teeth. “Yari’s friend, she disappeared with my friend Soobin shortly after introducing us” He states. You couldn't put your finger on it but something about the tone of his voice has you completely entranced. The pain you had felt previously slowly subsided as you continued to talk with Yeonjun. You couldn't feel how time moved as you and Yeonjun made your way toward the backyard through the sliding door in the kitchen. Your heart beat against your ribcage like a drum when you felt Yeonjun’s large hand encase your waist as a crowd shoves their way inside. Your hand rests on Yeonjun’s chest as he holds you against his tall slender frame. His blue hair cascading over his face as he glared at the crowd. Your mind filled with lustful sin filled thoughts as you stared up at him.

You sit on the patio bench beside Yeonjun, his left arm laying on the back of the couch around you as you two continue to talk about everything under the sun. You quickly established a connection with Yeonjun as you two laughed about the most recent drama you had both watched. Suddenly you heard the sound of the sliding glass door open and Changbin comes barreling out with Ae-ra’s hand firmly grasped in his. “There you are, brat.” Changbin cheers as he makes his way over to you “you ready to go? I can give you a ride I'm about to head out..” you stare at Changbin bewildered as you struggle to find words. “Aww, you're leaving?” Yeonjun whines with a pout. “I won't have a ride otherwise” you give him a sad smile. “I can bring you home” Yeonjun suggests as he lifts his left hand from behind you using it to play with your hair as he tilts his head flirtatiously. You bite your lip as you contemplate his offer.

“Y/N? You coming?” Changbin asks. “You can go ahead Ill make sure she gets home safe” Yeonjun states kindly to Changbin trying to wave him off. You nod enthusiastically “yeah Junnie will bring me home so you can go ahead.”

“Y/N, you've been drinking i don't think that's a good idea” Changbin argues as he glares at you and Yeonjun. “Bin, I had one drink way over an hour ago I'll be fine” you protest. Changbin’s face contorts to an expression you don't recognize as he goes to speak “But—Babe, she said she'll be fine. Let her have some fun, you said she's always cooped up at home” Ae-ra cuts Changbin’s protests off. You smile at Yeonjun as Changbin stammers to Ae-ra, Yeonjun takes your hand “Wanna get out of here?” you nod allowing him to lead you out of the party.

I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to turn to. This all or nothing way of loving got me sleeping without you. Now, I need somebody to know, Somebody to heal, Somebody to have, Just to know how it feels. It's easy to say but it's never the same; I guess I kinda liked the way you helped me escape….

It had been one week since the party.

The morning after you had woken up in Yeonjun’s bed, feeling utterly embarrassed you tried to escape unnoticed. But thanks to your graceful nature you stumble while you were putting your pants on, waking the sleeping boy in the process. “Running away from potential problems is like your superpower. You know that?” Yeonjun jokes behind tired eyes recalling one of your previous conversations you had about your feelings for Changbin. If only he knew how right he truly was…. You thought to yourself as you took a sip of your coffee. You had cut off all contact with Changbin after the night of the party. You weren't exactly sure how to handle the news, especially when you had walked out of your door that Sunday and found the pair making out on Changbin’s porch. Your heart ached with pain and jealousy. How you longed to know that feeling…..to experience that kiss. The taste of those lips.

How could he?

How could he play with your heart like that?

How could he do that to you? So suddenly?

No matter how long you thought about it; it just didn't make sense to you. Hours before the party Changbin was in your room, flirting with you like he always did then, all of a sudden, he has a girlfriend? How could you have been so stupid?

A quick succession of snaps in front of your eyes pull you out of your thoughts. “Earth to Y/N?” Yeonjun pouts “I understand that you don't actually like me…but this was supposed to be a date.” His voice is filled with whines as he lays his head on your shoulder. You roll your eyes at him “We're in the school cafeteria. If that's your idea of a date then I can see why your crush doesn't notice you” you jest as you take a bite of your pizza. Yeonjun shakes his head with an amused smile “rather have her not notice me than have her dangle some boyfriend she doesn't care about in front of me” You stick your tongue out at him “Swallow your food before you act like a child” Yeonjun scolds. You swallow the food in your mouth as you roll your eyes “yes dad”

“Anyway, so what are you saying? I'm good as a Changbin placeholder in your bed but not your heart?” Yeonjun raises his eyebrow as he grips your thigh possessively. You grasp his wrist halting his movements and placing his hand back on the table. “Behave…” You warn “And you're my friend not some placeholder for Changbin. You like someone else too don't make me feel guilty about it” Yeonjun rolls his eyes as he crosses his arms over his chest “I was joking, god. You're always so serious.” He whines as the bell rings “Want me to walk you?” he asks, you decline as you gather your stuff waving him off.

You slowly trudge your way to class when you see Changbin barreling over to you. Your heart races as he gets closer and closer making your chances for escape almost zero to none. You bite the inside of your cheek as he stands in front of you. “Where the hell were you this week?” He growls, you look away from him feeling embarrassment grow in your stomach. “I was busy, sorry” you apologize half-heartedly. Changbin’s jaw clenches at your nonchalance. “Busy?! Too busy to respond to my texts?! It takes two minutes max!” He scolds. You feel yourself growing angry at his words “Yeah, I was busy. I'll text you next time, I wanted a break” You lie. Changbin’s eyebrows raise “A break? Do you think I'm stupid? You've posted literally every day! Is it because you're dating Choi Yeonjun now? Does he not want you to talk to me?”

“I'm not dating Yeonjun. There honestly doesn't need to be a reason for me to want a break, Changbin.”

“I'm your best friend! What do you mean there doesn't have to be a reason? We've spent literally every single day together since we were in kindergarten; and now all of a sudden, you just ghosted me…for a week! And you have the nerve to say you don't need a fucking reason?!” Changbin fumes. Guilt fills your stomach.

And I tend to close my eyes when it hurts sometimes; I fall into your arms. I'll be safe in your sound 'til I come back around. For now, the day bleeds into nightfall and you're not here to get me through it all. I let my guard down and then you pulled the rug….

You stared at him with a pitiful pout. “Bin, I'm sorry. You're right; I should explain…” you apologize. He stares you down, his arms crossed over his chest. His eyes narrowed into slits as he waits for you to explain. You sigh as you stare up at him hopefully “I-I…When…Well…” you stammer, struggling to find the words. Changbin’s anger grows more and more evident as the seconds tick on. You struggled to find an explanation that doesn't put your feelings out there. “Well?” Changbin growls “I'm getting more and more pissed the longer you just stare at me with that stupid look on your face.” You look at the ground as you bite your lip “I've been avoiding you…b-because I like you, but you have Ae-ra so, I wanted to take some time to process that…” you explain breathlessly.

Changbin sat silently for a moment, his cheeks were blushed but his disapproving scowl remained. “If you would have fucking talked to me, you'd know that me and Ae-ra are nothing serious” Your eyes light up as he continues “You'd also know that I have feelings for you” Your heart pounds in your chest as butterflies fill your stomach as he speaks “But I won't do shit about it” He comments harshly. A look of horror fills your expression “Bin—No, Y/N.” he cuts you off, his tone full of a firm determination “Instead of fucking growing up and communicating with me; you avoided me and did whatever with Yeonjun. Which is so fucking petty and childish that I want nothing to do with you” You froze, you weren't prepared for him to say that.

He had never said anything like that to you before, you weren't sure how to respond. You felt tears well up in your eyes “Bin, you can't be serious…” your voice cracks as you step toward him. He takes a step back “But I am, you're ridiculously childish and I'm so tired of dealing with it. You say you like me, if you liked me then you wouldn't have just disappeared on me like that. You would have talked to me.”

“I'm sorry, you're not being fair right now” you cry.

“Were you being fair when you just abandoned me? I don't fucking care about being fair! Tell me how you feel toward me in a week and see if I'm being fucking fair or not!” He sneers as he walks away from you in frustration. You're left to stand there stunned. You laugh at the irony as tears stream down your cheeks.

I let my guard down and then you pulled the rug………I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved.

⏪|⏸️|⏩

Taglist: @yangbbokari @havenwithleeknow

[mara-tevith-solo]

It Takes Two

Part 2 is here finally

Part 1, Part 3, Part 4

Pairing: Miguel O’Hara x enhanced ex-avenger reader

Warnings: Angst, happy ending, kinda possessive Miguel, love confessions, mentions of injuries and medical stuff, self gaslighting, they finally stop being idiots

Words: 1.8k+

Rated: PG-13

You woke up alone and in pain. Well, it wasn't exactly pain as you knew it, but it was definitely discomfort. The right side of your chest felt like it was woven with lead and your head felt like it was stuffed with cotton, adding to your over all discomfort "You gave us all quite a scare!" A Spider-Nurse chuckled as soon as he entered your room with perfect timing, scaring the crap out of your poor little self.

"What happened?" You asked, your voice rough and popping from disuse, the heart monitor beeping in time with your fright.

He began poking and prodding, measuring your condition with his eyes and ears "Doc Ock got an extremely good hit in, sent you flying based on what Lyla said. Bruised your spine, gave you a stellar concussion, and a decent laceration in your right pectoral. It'll scar, but you'll live and that's the most important thing." He was rambling, but his words made everything rush back to you, including a certain confession to a certain someone. You wanted the floors of HQ to swallow you whole and never let you go. The very last thing you'd ever wanted to do was bother Miguel with your feelings for him, make him feel awkward and put on the spot. You were certain that he didn't feel for you as you felt for him, that there was no way he'd let himself because of the Universal difference that stood between you. "Head hurt?" The nurse asked with a warm tone, making you imagine the soft smile that lurked under his mask.

"Ya, just a bit." You nodded a little too quickly for comfort, passing off your emotional turmoil as physical discomfort.

He nodded in understanding before pulling your hospital gown down just enough to check on your wound "Let me just see how this is healing and I'll go get a Doc so they can give you something for the pain."

"Thank you." You said it as sincerely as you could, pulling what looked like another smile from the Spider-Person.

"You're very welcome." His fingers were gentle as he removed the bandage, not letting the tape pull too much. The air was cold against the wound, making it sting ever so slightly "Looks good, forty-five percent closed on it's own. I'll go find a Doc for you." He put the bandage back before leaving just as suddenly as he'd arrived, his steps just as quiet as every other Spider's.

It didn't take long for the Doctor to come, her white coat pristine over her dark suit "Hello Y/n, I'm Doctor Petra. How are you feeling?" She asked in that measured tone all Doctors seemed to use.

"Uncomfortable."

She nodded with a thoughtful hum, quickly putting on nitrile gloves and pulling back the bandage for her own peek "Well, I can confidently say you can be discharged today, the wound is healing excellently on it's own. And I can give you some prescription grade Ibuprofen for the pain if you want."

"No, I've got some at home I can use."

"Ok. Light duty for a while I'm afraid. No missions or heavy lifting until after your follow up, ok?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Alrighty!" She hummed, taking off her gloves and throwing them to the bin across the room "You're all set to go! Your clothes are there on the chair, take your time getting dressed and holler if you need help! See you in two weeks!" She got up and left your room before you could ask when in two weeks you were supposed to go back, but decided to not press it as you slowly stood and shuffled over to your pile of clothes stiffly. They were clean, mostly, save for the blood on your undershirt and jacket, but there wasn't a speck of dirt to be found. Getting your shirt on was hell, your wound not wanting to let you raise your arm up enough so you had to get creative. Walking out of the hospital wing was relieving, though seeing Miguel waiting for you at the entrance was a whole new stress in and of itself.

He was still as a statue as he waited, stoic as usual with his arms crossed tightly over his chest. You felt like you were walking into a lecture as you stiffly closed the space between you until there were only two feet left "Hey..." You greeted first, you voice soft and light in trepidation.

"Ready?" His voice didn't match his visage, it was light and warm instead of flat, his eyes that shade of garnet that was quickly becoming your favorite. You didn't trust yourself to speak, instead nodded and quickly falling into step beside him. His hand immediately found itself a home on your mid-back, warm and soothing, anchoring through your jacket. Addicting. You wanted to sink into the contact, and you could swear he sensed that as his fingers spread to increase contact, taking up nearly an entire third of your back. He didn't say or do anything as you both walked towards his office, just coexisted in the same bubble as people stopped and murmured around you. "So, I suppose we have something pretty important to talk about." His words filled the messy space as soon as the doors closed behind you, his expression instantly changing to something akin to teasing amusement.

"Oh?" You asked, pulling away from him to sit on a desk, needing to take the pressure off of your hips and back.

He raised a brow at your bid of ignorance, the corners of his mouth barely curling in a restrained smile that was fighting for freedom "Mhmm." He took a spot barely inches away from you, between your knees. Your heart was racing wildly in your chest, in his ears, your throat jumping in time under his gaze. He found it adorable, how nervous you suddenly were. "Something about me being pretty when I smile?" His smile grew in spite of his attempts to curb it as your eyes widened, realizing that he did indeed remember everything you'd said, and confirming to him that you remembered as well. "And how you've had a crush on me for the last year." He watched as you looked away, mortified, a dullness lending itself to your eyes. It concerned him, making his suit recede from his hands as he reacted for you, broaching the last few inches as he gently grabbed your chin between his thumb and forefinger and brought your focus back to him "Hey now." He cooed low in his throat, trying to coax you out of the shell he saw you constructing.

"I shouldn't have said any of that. It's unfair of me to burden you with my feelings. I'm really sorry, I promise to not make it a problem for you." Your words were hasty as they tumbled off your tongue, still not looking him in the eyes.

He ducked into your gaze, worried as you tried to shut him out and shut the conversation down, made you look him in the eyes as he brow furrowed "Why would it be a problem for me?"

"For a multitude of reasons!" Your voice was suddenly loud and you were willingly meeting his gaze, eyes swirling with a plethora of emotions, so many that he suddenly wanted to kiss away and chase out of your mind with all the love he could give you for the entirety of his life. "We're from different Universes for one! And you deserve so much better than me!"

His head tilted to the side as your words rang in his head. Did you truly believe that you weren't good enough for him? If anything, he whole-heartedly believed he wasn't good enough for you! "What?"

"I wasn't even good enough for my ex! He threw me away as soon as he could, after everything! I'm broken! You can do so much better than me. You deserve so much better..." You sniffled, tears falling fast and hard from your eyes.

Both of his hands found your cheeks, his thumbs tenderly brushing away your tears before he was pressing his forehead to yours, sharing air with you, hoping that his thoughts would be shared with you "Eres mi cielo, mi alma. Te amo, más que a nada." He rumbled into the minimal space "You are everything to me, Y/n. You always will be." He vowed, making your tears multiply as the words you'd longed to hear were finally in the air between you "I'm not Steve, I'm not going to leave you for a 'what if' because there's no one better for me than you. Because I love you. I want to grow old with you, I want to raise children with you, make a life with you. And only you. Only if you want the same with me."

Your heart was stuttering as you processed his words, as you searched for a falsehood you already knew you'd never find. You were nodding before you had a chance to get the words out "Yes, for a million years, yes!" His smile was everything to you in that moment, so broad you were sure his cheeks would be sore later, his eyes so bright they were like red stars.

"Can I kiss you?" He asked softly, moving so close that his nose was caressing yours, sending goosebumps across your body with a rush of thrill and anticipation.

You nodded, not breaking contact as his breath fanned your face lightly "Please do, Miguel." He didn't waste a moment, pressing his plush lips to yours feather light, testing the waters. It felt like he was being electrocuted in all the best ways, a tingle rushing up and then down his spine as your lips pressed so deliciously against his. He couldn't tell who deepened it, all he knew was that in no time your lips were dancing together, following a rhythm only they knew as you both clung desperately to each other, his hands under your shirt, touching as much of your skin as they could, while your hands were tangled in his hair. He could barely pull away from you even a few inches to catch his breath, your pupils blown as wide as his no doubt were "I love you." You whispered softly, smiling up at him so prettily. He groaned a growl as he dove into another kiss, devouring your breathy giggles as you kissed him back. You were finally his, where you belonged, and he was going to make sure you remained by his side, he was going to love you like you'd never been loved before. He swore it to the Multiverse. To all the Gods. To every molecule in his being. He'd love you til the end of Time itself.                    

[tsukiyadori]

Reading Log 2024.04 - April

Previous: Reading (Watching) Log 2024.02-2024.03 - February-March

Reading languages: German, English, French, Japanese, not listing which was what. (There's also been some feeble attempts at Chinese.)

Titles are as I’ve read them either first or most and thus remember it for that title mostly

Not going to bother putting in the original titles of translated reads unless there is something worthy of note to it

Cursive titles have been completed

Some notes' content may be subject to repetition here and there, as I also copied some older notes from casual conversations over and didn't go through any rounds of cutting things down.

——————————————————————————

APRIL

I now have a new phone lockscreen wallpaper. (See entrance image. It's from How to Survive as a Villain's webtoon a.k.a. To Be or Not to Be chapter 71). The moon being pretty, and a thing for me is kinda self-explanatory given my alias names, but usually you find images with moons to have them being all on the upper part of the image, because obviously moons are up there in the sky. However, for phone lock screens this is incredibly unpractical, because on the upper part is the time display and that one's white... So this one is perfect with the moon not being on the upper part but the lower part of the image. I wonder what blossoms there are supposed to be. I'd guess peach blossoms (with the village being called literally Peach Blossom Village, but wasn't it supposed to be summer in that timeline? And peach blossoms bloom in March to April.)

I found out that you can add any number of tags, but tumblr kicks everything bar the first 30 somethings upon saving and among those displayed only the first 20 actually will count for showups if you want to filter posts with that hashtag. Or like search on the phone app. What the heck. What do you mean I need to actually choose the most important ones now each time. D:

Maybe I should try do monthlies after all, so there won't be as many tags to begin with.

I feel like this is gonna just be a rambling about one particular series this month anyway...

I have learned something new this month. The Chinese have a slang word called 'dog blood'. It's apparantely coming from theater where death scenes were enacted with dog blood and first was about extended nonsensical farewell speeches of death scenes but eventually expanded to describe all sorts of cheap cheesy lines in general. Or in other words, this is basically synonymous to what I call bad, rotten or trash cheese.

Light Novels:

7th Time Loop v2

Brunhild v1-2

By the Grace of Gods V12

Dragon Live Online p8-11.5

Hell Mode v3p1-3

How to Survive As a Villain Novel ch46-57, ch181-183, Ch58-75, ch209-210, ch206, ch196, ch76-136 (and some other random scene cheery picks completely out of order)

Is it wrong to pick up Girls in a Dungeon v9

Mushoku Tensei v1p1-6

The Case Files of Jeweler Richard v13p15-56

The Eminence in Shadow v2p6-8

The Executioner and Her Way of Life v1

The Faraway Paladin v1-2

The Saint's Magic Power is Omipotent LN v2p1-v3p6

Unnamed Memory After the End v1p16-22

Unnamed Memory LN v1p1-2

Wolf and Parchment v4-5

Your Forma v4

Manga:

Aiko und die Wölfe des Zwielichts v1-3

Ano Natsu ga Houwa suru. ch17

Are You Okay with a Slightly Older Girlfriend? Ch2.4-16.1

August 15th

Buta no Liver wa Kanetsushiro ch35.1-2

Dance in the Vampire Bund The Memories of Sledgehammer v2ch5-8

Delinquent Daddy & Tender Teacher v3

Domestic na Kanojo v5-8

Don't Call Me Daddy

Ein schicksalhafter Bund mit dem Fuchs v1-v2ch11

Fake it to Break it Ch1-8.3

Feng Yu Jiu Tian ch1-4

Flying Witch v11-12ch73

Get the Moon

Goblin Slayer The Singing Death v4ch16-19

Goblin Slayer Year One v8

Goblin Slayer v12

Hallo, ich bin eine Hexe und mein Schwarm wünscht sich einen Liebestrank von mir v3ch15

Hiso Hiso v4-6

How I Attended an All-Guy's Mixer Ch1-4

In Sachen… Geheimnisse (v3)

In Sachen… Vertrauen (v2)

Intoxicated East Wind Skimthrough

Iron Cock Skimthrough

Isekai Transporter ch1-4

Isekai de Ane ni Namae wo Ubawaremashita ch18.1

Kakan no Oukoku no Hanagirai Hime ch12.3-13.1

Kakko Warukute Kakkoii Kimi v1

Ki ga Au to Iu Koto wa v1

Kijima-san & Yamada-san Ch17.3-24.2

Knitter's High ch27.1-2

Koisuru (Otome) no Tsukurikata ch82-83

Kono Koi wo Hoshi ni wa Negawanai ch12.3-13.1

Korsar der Liebe v1-3

Like Milk & Honey v1-2

Living With My Brother's Wife Ch12-15-48

Lonely Castle in the Mirror v1-3

Loop 7-kaime no Akuyaku Reijou wa, Moto Tekikoku de Jiyuu Kimama na Hanayome Seikatsu wo Mankitsusuru ch31

Maid-san wa Taberu dake ch48

Mein Isekai-Leben v1-v4ch12

Mir dir im Wunderland v2 (ou of order read)

Miryou no Otome to Katabutsu Hittou Majutsushi no Hatsukoi Kiroku bangaihen3-4

My Awkward Senpai Ch71-75

My Elder Sister v5-6ch44

My Not-So-Fair Lady is Doomed! (But Not If I Can Help It) Ch1.1-4.1

My Roommate is a Cat v6-8ch24

My Unexpected Marriage Ch1-10.2

Okazari Ouhi ni Nattanode, Kossori Hataraki ni deru koto ni Shimashita ~Usagi ga Iru no de Hitorine mo Sabishiku Arimasen!~ ch25.2-26.4

On or Off v1-4

Rebirth Two Lives I Still Love You ch0-2

Ryuko v2

Sasaki & Peeps v1

Shuumatsu Touring ch37.1-2

Soko ni Suwaruna

Suicide Notes Laid on the Table Ch20-35.1

The 6th Loop: I'm Finally Free of Auto Mode in this Otome Game Ch1.1-3.2

Tokyo Aliens v7ch29-33

Unamed Memory ch36.1-2

Watashi wo Tabetai, Hitodenashi ch38.1-3

Yomei Ichinen to Senkokusareta Boku ga, Yomei Hantoshi no Kimi to Deatta Hanashi ch11.1-2

Webtoons:

Breed my Dear Enemy Ch182-194

Fall in the Night with You Ch72-73

Flowers in the Secret Place Ch89-155

Her Atypical Story Ch0-5

Ice Lamp: The Chronicles of Kira Ch45-48

Taberare Usa ch99-101

The Blind & The Homeless Ch8-42

The Goddess of Healing Ch67-79

To be or not be Ch24-95

Notes:

To Be or Not to Be (reread on Comikey in progress): So well, the first time was a bit not as attentive and then too quick on binge last month so I simply started from the beginning again. And it's so funny in hindsight that it took me until starting the novel to realized this fellow is just about as aroace as you can be (who slowly drops into a demi-romance). Like, I should have had caught the hint latest with this:

(Difference between a brotherly love or one between lovers)

This is, if you think about it, not the sort of question you'd normally ask, especially not when somebody just confessed to you and there is no homophobia theme nor desperate denial at play, and you don't even doubt that it's meant seriously and can even see that the feelings are genuine. It's.... totally a question I'd also ask, tho. No wonder, this entire progression of that romance and him taking so long to catch on just felt so plausible to me.

Other than that, I still think the first season (up to their first separation) is a pretty great adaption, it takes shortcuts and adds some more flourish at places. The second and third seasons however, after reading the novels now feel excruciatingly chopped, although it still manages to do the most important scenes right. But much of its worldbuilding and side characters is just gone, and some things are still there but don't exactly make any sense - like that hairband from eunuch Zhao that snapped, it ever was only shown intact in the webtoon, but when Xiao YuAn goes to bury his box of mementos there is Hong Xiu's hairpin this broken hairband. Or the list of names of fallen soldiers. Other little changes make sense, and some just seem clunky. (Like this whole "I want to bed him" in the last arc has an entirely different vibe considering they had been at it before already unlike in the novel.) And my complaint after the first read that the last third just seems way too focused on the two MCs with zero inclusion of the side characters or expanding the world, the novel in fact is like that still in that arc, but it already has done all that in the second season, which was nearly entirely cut in the webtoon (or if you look really closely there are some one-liners or random panels showing it) and does some more in the extras, which the webtoon doesn't adapt. Still it does get many of the most important scenes right and the art remains pretty. (Except the last third still has me had this eyelashes issue. Whyyyy.)

How to Survive As a Villain Novel ch46-57, ch181-183, Ch58-75, ch209-210, ch206, ch196, ch76-136 (and some other random scene cheery picks completely out of order): When you go like, let's read it slowly so it lasts longer!! and that even works, but then you just start reading backwards and then all across all over the place out of order anyway. Oh, well....

I already got some clear aroace moods with Xiao YuAn in the beginning that I read last month but upon reading on.... this fellow's really about as aroace as you can be without naming it. It even goes all the length of establishing him as somebody who doesn't understand it at all, has to ask about it, and questions the veracity of the answer at places. (And I still think the "sexual orientation" bits on the official character bios on both him and Yan HeQing are a complete riot. 😂) They both look very demi to me; if that original novel is to still apply Yan HeQing falls for somebody who extends their hand when he's in anguish and suffering and over that emotional attachment he develops feelings (and then it's a dam breaking). For Xiao YuAn it's obviously very slow burn and building one little pebble atop another until a wall that makes him feel safe has been built.

What I thought was incredibly interesting tho, Xiao YuAn still comes off as pretty ace even after all is said and done. And he doesn't exactly know it - he continues to live with a misconception that's just incredibly widespread and not known. In that same scene from the above webtoon snippet he asks Yan HeQing what sort of like/love is he even refererring to. Does he know the difference, is it a brotherly/comradery feeling or one between lovers. That's also what is in the webtoon in Chinese (I actually went to check that one out), but the novel (which scene I also went to check out, at least what web version I could find in Chinese) has him be much more crude and to the point to put that question between that brotherly like/love or if it was one where Yan HeQing would want to have sex with him. (Which he answers rather clearly as having very much some voracious appetite for him in that respect, the answer is still there in the webtoon.) Now put this next to each other. That's his idea: The love of lovers is something that includes sexual desire. Sound familiar? Uhu. He even suggests in lieu of answering him that they simply do the deed. In order to learn and find out. The man's got some very wrong ideas right there. A few of them seem way too dumbly familliar.

The hilariously funny part is, Xiao YuAn proceeds to be incredibly unhinged about this spice stuff afterward. He is going for it, he does the most outrageous things, but he does them in a way that just feels entirely clueless or he realizes just how extreme they are after it's already done or shortly about to be done and he reflects on it and feels incredibly stupid. And most of all, if he causes a dam break in Yan HeQing who, all seduced and riled up, can't help but eat him up rather ravenously he always winds up wailing for him to please stop, because kinda, he didn't have that in mind at all so much. It's like he never really is aware of what he's gonna get himself into and doesn't really learn his lessons either. But also, once he gets touched, he is plenty able to feel sexual pleasure, he doesn't exactly hate it. It's just... it seems more like a passive body reaction, a sort of being okay with it, rather than an innate desire out of attraction? He never seems actually thirsty for it (unlike Yan HeQing who is incredibly straving for it, but knows it and restrains himself constantly.)

He's the first to initiate and propose them doing it and is notoriously stubborn about getting Yan HeQing to do it, but also says it's not like he is in a hurry (or like coming off as badly wanting it because of an actual proper desire like Yan HeQing always has), but it's just he feels like they'd never get the right timing to do it at all otherwise. It makes him sound desperate, like he feels a duty to actually do it and guilty for not doing it, almost as if he has to prove something. And whenever Yan HeQing kinda distances himself from him for whatever reason his go to is to try seduce him and break his self-control for forced up intimacy. (And then just winds up regretting it, because it's too much.) And it seems to entirely not align with what he actually wants and needs most fo have exactly that connection he seeks. After that last dramatic reunion in the third part where Yan HeQing is so out of himself and selfcontrol he wants him so badly tied to bed and everything like those innermost desires he once told him (but never actually executed like that, because he doesn't want to hurt him), Xiao YuAn instead just wants to hug him. He's wanting physical intimicy, but it's more about lying in one another's arms for a peaceful sleep. Every single time when he's still oblivious to it all, but clearly already attached, he just has Yan HeQing accompany him to spend some quality time together. He's the one who wants to have dates even as they weren't named such and even has to explain that thing about it's simply to just spend some good time together to him. (All the while Yan HeQing is so thirsty wanting to steal kisses from him.) And whenever he fawns over the man, it's kinda suspiciously in just aesthethic ways...? (well for what I've read anyway.)

30% of it feels more like a sort of playfulness, a sort of stubborn competition, fueled by those "tyrannical president" antics, which trope he entirely is not, but spent his entirely past life being forced into being and still very much influences his thought process. Almost as if if he doesn't get Yan HeQing to jump at him, it's like he is lacking in attractiveness, something that chips away at his self value. Another 30% is him appearing like he considers it the thing to be done, almost as if he owes it to him, especially as he knows that Yan HeQing's wants in that regard run much deeper and notorious. Yet another 30% is him kinda just enjoy everything before the actual act. Like as if getting him to do it is the goal rather than actually doing it. He clearly enjoys the teases to break Yan HeQing's defenses, his self-control, his stoism. And even as he knows some of his things are kinda outrageous, he, to some extend, still enjoys them. It's kinda the same thing with his fixation on terrible tropes and cheesy lines and everything 'dog blood', it's excruciatingly terrible, all trashy, but he can't help but also kinda look forward to it. The last 10% are... really just him having no darn clue. Like however did he think that red silk bondage was a good idea??? 😂 Maybe I should not laugh as me, surely I'd be just as dumb myself if it ever came to be...

Other than that I quite like how the isekai/transmigration thing plays out.

Xiao YuAn doesn't really get to be all OP or a sort of cheater because of being from a modern world - that is not as a plot device. There are some indications and little details that he does bring in some modernization, like proposing that meritocratic exams system the actual historical China also has had, but it's never really played as a plot point that flaunts his superior knowledge or anything. What he ultimately winds up tackling - corruption, decandency - are things entirely the same still in the modern word and he's also struggling with it all the same as he would in any modern world as well. He knows the future by the plotline, but beyond having a better grasp at insight to their character and be nice to them Hamefura-style, it's at the same time also kinda the obvious thing to do as a decent person. And he's having plenty ability to have an insight on human nature and getting other people liking him even without the cheat skills from the novel plot as his time in the TaoYuan village proves.

I still absolutely do not like that bit about Xiao YuAn's brother, he just remains a complete plot device, but that the doppelgänger from Wester Shu gets to wake up in the modern world as him to improve on his own depression and helplessness was a nice touch. (One the webtoon should have rather have, when it had them actually have a conversation with each other, rather than how in the novel Xiao YuAn only every saw him from a distrance and asked about him. He remained a completely stranger there, so him kinda not having as much compassion to upkeep his past identity's honor seems more plausible. Especially as he's introduced as a good guy, unlike that Nothern emperor who is a scummy villain (and then even he got to have a little bit pity left for him by the original book's ending for him with is love affair.))

That and how it's part of how Xiao YuAn has a few deep seated traumata and in that way that they don't seem obvious at all, because he drowns it all in his smiles, his goofy riduculousness, his apparant ability to just let grudges go when all he does is just to bury them and run away. All that load, it didn't just magically disappear in his new life, no, they come to wreck him even in this new world. He has baggage and a new life doesn't magically fix it nor is this fantasy escapism world it the solution to it in the end. How many isekai tales actually make use of this oppotunity to add some more emotional development? We never really learn much about how he lived his life in the modern world, but little insight is there only describes titbits to establish the origins. But it was never really addressed in his childhood and it wasn't cured at all either, nor is it likely that it's curable at all. Those scars are there and with his futile struggles they only got worse culmating in his rash and terrible decisions. What ultimately keeps it in check and just puts a lid on it without erasing it, is being showered with that love he was missing his entire life by Yan HeQing and his found family in the village and also realizing how the easy way out of it has devastating consequences.

Speaking of that found family, it's really too bad, that got cut so much in the webtoon. While there is still a tinge of it with Lin Shengling getting all touched that Xiao YuAn's place is kinda his maiden home of sorts and Xiao YuAn and all accepted in that village with really close bonds with especially the Zhan family, which family to begin with is a patchwork family. Yang LiuAn and Xiao FengYue kinda become brothers of sorts to him, and old lady cohabitating with them is a sort of motherly aunt there. There's just no ill will in that village (which is its whole point with being kinda called a little paradise on earth.) And also it's just got these beautifully blossoming trees. (Now are those peach blossoms or not??)

Oh and speaking of found family and all closeness and intimicy that there is and which is being perfectly aknowledged as something Xiao YuAn holds dear and misses and seems just so attractive, even as he is perfectly fine with living in the capital with Yan HeQing, which the latter also perfectly respects and encourages. There is also this bit in the extras about Hong Xiu, how it was Xiao YuAn, who tended to her worst fears she never expected anyone to expect and treated her with gentleness, a sort of she hadn't phantomed to ever get. And as the man speaks fondly and caring about her and Yan HeQing get jealously concerned over "do you like her", Xiao YuAn is all he's probably jealous about the girl again, but also that Hong Xiu never was part of of his harem. And then he has this to say to him:

Way to just get things right. (And she definitely ripped a hole into his heart, once she was gone and even keeps visiting her grave years later. Also really too bad that the afterwards about how curruption cut short his support for her family forcing her sister to become a maidservant, too.)

Other than that I just want to scream: Why could I not discover this a mere two darn month earlier?! That the pre-orders for that Singapore Rosmei edition is already closed and me not having entirely any idea at all how to get it anymore sours me, doesn't help at all, that apparantely that edition is gonna get some new unrelease extra chapter (although that is to be in v3, so technically I won't be missing that one............ whenever the other two volumes are going to be released anyway.) Apparantely there's even another chapter exclusive to some Chinese Edition from a publisher called Via Lactea and I have absolutely no idea how that one's supposed to look and how to get it. And to learn this right when I pondering about looking for some Chinese proxy for getting the books in Chinese, too, now obviously I want that edition to learn what that extra chapter is about. Hhhhnnnng. (Apparantely there's also a Spanish edition licensed with the art of the Rosmei edition, but I know no Spanish...)

Other than that, I still riducilously miss out on those footnotes the aggregator sites have just went and killed. Also, I just found out that the one single site that had the extras beyond chapter 210 kinda did some move and the entire title has vanished from that one's new site. With that there's porbably no place to read the fantraslation of it anymore. (At least for that one I had the epiphany of going though all the chapter sites to make a safecopy last week, I don't really want to know how dkfhkdjfhkjdfh I would have been, if I missed out on reading them just like that from one day to the other.)

In any case, this one as rekindled my interest in the Chinese language, too. Linguistically/writing style speaking this novel is also highly up my alleways. It's chock full with idioms (I image them to be complete utter pain to translate), historical references in those idioms, but also it has all that meta stuff about tropes and everything along with modern slang usage. And it's just having the right amount of twinkling parody of tropes, indulging just enough in it for some guilty pleasure but still managing to have an well build up emotional rollercoaster plot of its own that dances with Xiao YuAn's goofy ludicrousness at times in one hand and heavy hitters in the other. And considering, that it has not newly invented any wheel whatsoever - about every single element in there is something that on its own you can find elsewhere as well - but still manages to get me this invested into it is kinda rather impressive.

Speaking of impressive---

Mein Isekai-Leben a.k.a. My Isekai Life v1-v4ch12: Now that on the other hand is an entirely different sort impressive, or more like, I am astounded by it. Which is to say if I had to use one word to descibribe it it's 'listless'. This is an incredibly listless OP MC cheat skills power-fantasy. It's also... incredibly boring. Brainless. Everything you get to see here is something that has been done elsewhere in way, way better already. I only read all those vols because I just happened to have them there and then I just kept going after the first volume because I wanted to know how in the world is this managing to survive at all. It's a manga adaption of a light novel, both are sitll ongoing and runnning. How does this manage to be this reasonably popular to warrant this??? (After v4 I still didn't really know, so I gave up.)

Wolf and Parchment v4-5 (5 sitll in progress): Ok, so volume 4 was kinda okay in the end, not so much a slog anymore, although the the conversation between Even and Col about how Col would definitely go and prioritize Myuri was pretty interesting, putting into question how long he's gonna last to stick to his he's gonna be a priest and not just take Myuri's handand he's still all that's never gonna happen. (Like hell it won't?!) Then volume 5 started and I was kinda blown by surprise over that bit about them being in this weird space of having a bond, about how she keeps calling him brother despite also saying she is romantically in love with him, because there is no other way to qualify this at all and him also realizing the weird place he is with his attachement to her, too and then the whole crest thing is there, and how every single one involved with it immediately understands it's significance. Something for them, only the two of them, something special, but it's not lovers or marriage. Something else. And it's also hard to get, because how in the world are you gonna explain two people with no tangible relation neither blood nor marriage, wanting to share a crest together? are you just gonna pretend something that pleases general plausibility, while it kinda contradicts its actual purpose? Owoooh, how cool is that. I suppose I really had no trust in this series (or media in general) that this wasn't going down your bog standard romance route.

The Case Files of Jeweler Richard v13p15-56 (that's somewhere into chapter 2): I am making some progress in reading that one off, but admittedly even I am surprised how slow going it is sonsidering how hyped I was about it before its release and then put it off for health reasons because I totally expected I'd just binge with in a marathon with no regard to sleep and food. If I had to put a finger onto it, it's kinda, the first chapter wasn't exactly uninteresting, but also really not very getting be invested either. The second chapter just entirely starts of with discomfort with having this Chinese classmate sobbing about how he is terrible in school and his father is livid about it and just the general vibes of Chinese mentality. Like. Ouch. And it also immediately stiffled my interest in Chinese again that How to Survive as a Villain has sparked up again. Distancing from that language is kinda like distancing from that general mentality for me and looks like I still can't really separate them enough to just enjoy the language without having the culture behind it poison me.

Unnamed Memory After the End: Still very much at the start, but it docks onto where the first series stops before the grand time skip. It also just picks up on a few things that were left unaddressed in its second half. And here is me wondering, if Myralis and Valt will show up again or not. How it ended for them - which by world mechanics has to be a bad end and then they don't even get mentioned - still feels narratively very unfair to me, with all the effort spent on describing their motives and backstory.

Flowers in the Secret Place - finished: This is another series I just read though chapters over chapters wondering why even, until it kinda went decent enough somethiing around chapter 70? from 155 chapters. The only reason I looked into it was because the art is kinda decently pretty. The reason I made it across the first chapter was that.... the MC wears bunny hair ties. Yes, stupid reason, but here we go. The male MC is possitively annoying, the second male lead is much more interesting but takes a whole while to pick himself up. The backstory and its resulting triangle constellation actually winds up being decently interesting.

Rebirth Two Lives I Still Love You ch0-2: Same author as How to Survive as a Vilain, different artist, which... doesn't look exactly bad, but not even half as appealing. This one's also not Isekai, but Regression. Also it looks incredibly cheese. Motivations for reading on were a bit low, but maybe it just takes a bit? Knowing me I will check it out anyway...

My Unexpected Marriage Ch1-10.2: This isn't even an Isekai, but it uses the Isekai cheat skill trick of using some pretty modern contemporary things and common sense, put them into an Ancient-y setting to make everything run overly smoothly for the MC. In terms of plot and characters I cannot say I am wowed. Nevertheless, it is set in Ancient China-ish of a setting and even if the female MC's big eyes innocent gentle shoujo face kinda clashes with the rest, there is definitely some effort spend on all the wardrobe and ornaments. It's pretty enough to keep going. The mystery plot that points to court intrigue is okayish enough, too.

Mushoku Tensei v1p1-6: The way the horny is put in really is a bit "...", there it really just goes, does an overly genuinely touchy feely monologue about how someone is great and how the guy is emotionally touched and everything, only to destroy it with the twist that he stole her unwashed panties. It was a whole block of text about how in his previous life he was a shut in a loser, somebody with serious problems, social anxiety and getting out of the house issues included and the girl took him out for a magic exam, insisted it had the out there and he really is unconfortable with it, you can get really into how this little bit is just a major milestone for him, something nobody in his old life has managed or even tried. But then it just had to goe like and then he remembered that he still had those unwashed panties in his room that he had stolen some month ago. Argh.

At least that horny father seems to have at least some punches to get, and the setup of this guy being a completely loser, but actually it's not like he always was, he was even better but never learned modesty and that being his entire downfall out which he has now learned. This character is a pretty well set up antihero, he is all sorts of terrible, but in that one moment where Truck-kun came he pushed that whoever away with no regards to himself. (and it doesn't get flaunted as that one big good deed.) He also helped Sylphie, and that started without any horny ulterior motives either. (I was half wondering there actually if, with all that attraction to her, when he still thought she was a he was opening up some queer route, but looks like not.) He, at the bottom of his heart, does not seem to be a bad guy, and he has some serious baggage, that he is trying to treat himself with this new life and gets the occasional unintentional help. Will be interesting how his own inhibitions and knowledge about all the bad things of himself bring him on the road to serious betterment. But then also. He is already entirely, totally hopelessly horny cringe.

Loop 7-kaime no Akuyaku Reijou wa, Moto Tekikoku de Jiyuu Kimama na Hanayome Seikatsu wo Mankitsusuru a.k.a. 7th Time Loop ch31: (That's the chapter about Arnold and Rishe talking about the ring, once it was delivered). I wanted to scream at Arnold and Rishe rocks with giving him a piece of her mind like that and also totally underestimates the amount of heart flutter she gets into when she goes and gives the man such a free pass to court her. A very wide load of good faces.

Intoxicated East Wind, Iron Cock, August 15h, Feng Yu Jiu Tian: Stuff from the artist of How to Survive as a Villain's webtoon from some 10 years prior. You know when you like one thing of somebody and then go check out the rest? And then you find out it's dubCon, nonCon, rapey, horny porny whatevers and melp. And by the translator's note from August 15th, apparantely that title is some slang euphemism for buttocks. Because the moon is the roundest on that date, so it's the perfect moon so it's buttocks. I'm like what? The art also look nowhere nearly as good as the artist is able to be pull off in How to Survive as a Villain. I wonder if they are going to have some new work. Couldn't find anything from after its end in 2022.

Don't Call Me Daddy: Nice to have some adult characters there. Like adult and then elderly. And how homophobia has wrecked their life, but it's not even the main theme. Again some discussion about different sorts of wants, but uh, the one that solves that one was that guy getting... a boner from a kiss? Huh. What would ye have done, if he didn't? (Well probably that would have been an entirely different story I guess...)

Domestic na Kanojo v5-8: Collection of notes made upon/right after reading the vols:

v5: Let's continue the exhibition of the worst of cheese afflictions. But I did not see that escalation downwards coming... okay, cheese affliction puts other people into danger, both intentionally and unintentionally... Actually the latter case is even worse as it is a danger of livelihood one... ....... ok, wait, isn't this already sexual harrassment now???

v6: Just go for them both already, those sisters don't even look like they'd mind it that much.

v7: Your cheese affliction is gonna ruin your life.

v8: So, now we have blackmail, coercion, extortion and a kidnapping as well as faking somebody's identity without their knowledge nor permission. Alright….

….. this however

(Title: How to recover, panel 1: My humble self has a bun, panel 4: RESSURECTED, the bun: HAND OVER THE SNACKS)

.............. is just some supreme truth out of complete nowhere.

Are You Okay with a Slightly Older Girlfriend? Ch2.4-16.1: I thought this was called into quesitonability because of the age gap and at the beginning I had some qualms, because she is outright deceiving him, but that gets wrapped up quickly enough and then I thought it was just gonna be cheese with age unsecurities, but I suppose if those massive boobs didnt alrealy make an indication, this thing's just way to much flaunting them and playing the horniness bits in way too much of an extremely.... kinda dumb way. With a tint of seriously thinking about these issues. (Also mentions of kink and no shaming allowed there, that sister knows how to enforce authority.) And that makes it both hard to outright drop, but also a pain to suffer though...

Brundhild v1-2: Volume 1, 'Dragon Slayer" is a revenge story out of titular Brunhild's love for the gentle and wise dragon, who is killed, gone haywire. She does all her misdeeds wholly aware for what they are and how innocents are getting in the crossfires and how it'll land her in hell - where she can never be together with the dragon again who went to paradise and had very much warned her to not go for revenge when he fully knew he was gonna get slain. She… is kinda, well, yandere isn't the right word, but she definitely is very much badly obsessed by things and worst she knows it herself, that the one she loves doesn't want it and still doesn't stop. I can't say I was wowed, but maybe that's partly because I read it in French and for the second half I was in deadline before expiry pressure and forced it though without looking up a bunch of words I wasn't too sure of. It feels pretty conclusive, so volume 2 'Dragon Princess' at first was incredibly confusing, with it having a Brunhild as a MC again and also some other guy having the same name as v1 Brunhild's brother. And suddenly the dragon is an evil one. Was wondering, if it was some sort of reincarnation next life plot, but then the personality of the characters are very different. Eventually it turns out to be a prequel. V1's Brunhild and her brother were names after the characters of v2 who lived centuries before them and in her family those famous names were often bestowed to children again. V2 I think is pretty good, interesting characters, has some more side characters, very good world building, again a love story but it's entirely different, also very much different ending and lore and it twists your expectations for the world coming from v1 and then actually winds up explaining v1's worldbuilding, which in v1 I thought that outside of the dragon island on its own was, uh, kinda, yeah, it's sorts of just there?

V2 also has a side character who suffers from not feeling love of any kind and having little empathy. Yet he is not entirely unfeeling either and he can be very much devoted looking much the part almost as if there was love. It looks a lot like it's the usual story about yeah and then this magnificent awe inspiring good natured lady is gonna make him find those traits again. It ultimately does not play out this trope the way you'd expect and I thought that it had the galls to do that was downright courageous.

[alexdelray1]

Pavitr x Fem Reader.

Song: Bole Chudiyan.

Warnings: Fluff, kinda angst.

Bole chudiyan, bole kangna. 

Haai main ho gayi teri saajna. 

Tere bin jiyo naiyo lag da main te margaiya.

I started dancing to the music playing from the speakers. Maybe coming to this celebration wasn't a bad idea. And my cultured attire doesn't look too bad either. I danced in a crowd full of different people.

Aah aah aah aah, aah aah aah.

Bole chudiyan, bole kangna. 

Haai main ho gayi teri saajna. 

Bole chudiyan, bole kangna.

Haai main ho gayi teri saajna. 

Tere bin jiyo naiyo lag da main te margaiya.

-What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be saving the city? - I asked him and he grimaced.

-I got away. After all, being who I am at night and sometimes during the day shouldn't stop me from celebrating my favorite holiday. - he said and started dancing to the music.

-If only you would respect our dates so much. - I joined in the dance and smiled.

-Don't worry. Something like this won't happen again, even if it will then it means that you came earlier. - he said and shook his leg several times to the rhythm of the music.

Haai haai main marjaawa marjaawa tere bin.

Ab to meri raatein kat ti taare gin gin. 

Bas tujhko pukaara kare, meri bindiya ishaara kare.  

Hoye, lashkaara lashkaara teri bindiya ka lashkaara. 

Aise chamke jaise chamke chaand ke paas sitaara. 

Oh oh, oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh oh.

Meri paayal bulaaye tujhe, jo roothe manaaye tujhe. 

O sajan ji, haan sajan ji. 

Kuch socho, kuch samjho meri baat ko. 

Bole chudiyan, bole kangna. 

Haai main ho gaya tera saajna. 

Tere bin jiyo naiyo lag da main te marjaawa.

There was supposed to be a verse of the song, but instead we heard people screaming and parts of buildings falling. Pavitr quickly took my hand and ran into the alley. He quickly started taking off his clothes, underneath which was a Spiderman costume, while I was looking at what it was from the corner.

-It's some green monster. And it's big. - I said and he was already in the costume.

-I promise you that we will spend the next holiday better.- he said and kissed me on the cheek. He shot his web and swung towards the monster.

People started pushing and pushing each other to disappear from the mutant's sight. In the crowd I saw a girl who was trying to save her mother, whose leg was stuck, from the rubble.

I ran there and tried to help her lift the boulder a little, which I managed to do after severely straining my wrist.

-Dhanyavaad! (Thank you). - the woman exclaimed and took her younger companion.

I looked towards the fight. Pavitr was doing well and the monster was about to fall. I was so focused on the fight that only at the last moment did I realize that the mutant's leg was about to hit me hard.

-Reader!- I heard a scream and felt as if every bone in my body had been broken. Only darkness remained.

-A week ago, our city was attacked by a monster known as the green goblin. Fortunately, no one died, but there were people who were injured or seriously harmed - the first words I heard.

I opened my eyes and realized that I was in the hospital. In front of me was a TV showing the news.

-Reader! Oh my God! You woke up! - the person who said this took me by the arms. After a moment of realizing my situation, I looked at this person.

-Pavitr? I am in the hospital? How? - I asked and he hugged me.

-I was pushed hard against a building by a green goblin. And I'm the forgetful one here. It's fine now. - Pavitr said the last sentence, as if to himself. Is he crying?

-Yeah. It is all right now. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? - I asked with a smile and patted him on the back.

-But it could have killed you! And I was powerless! I was afraid you were dead when he kicked you. - he said and ended the hug. He took my hand in his.

-Everything will be fine. I won't give up again and I'll run away right away. - I replied and leaned on the pillow.

-Kya tum vachan dete ho?- he asked with worry in his eyes.

-Main vaada karata hoon.- I replied and kissed his forehead.

[harrison-abbott]

I worked in this kitchen for a while a few years back.

The head chef was this guy called Dave, who was from Leeds, a big, taciturn man who was often silently grumpy. But, he was all right in general. Just about every time he spoke, he managed to slip the word ‘fuck’ into a sentence, regardless of whether he was in a good mood or not. Because he was from Yorkshire, he said the word like “Fook” instead of fuck. Fook this, fook that.

There was one time when Robin, the manager of the restaurant, was having a family gathering. Hosting it, rather, in the restaurant. I think it was his cousin’s wedding. And so there was a big party out on the floor, singing, dancing, etc.

At the end of the night, there was still some of the wedding cake left over.

This huge wedding cake, which had been so large that there weren’t enough people to eat all of it, and so there was a sizeable hunk of cake left over after the restaurant shut and all the guests had gone home.

So Robin stored it in the kitchen overnight to save it for the next day.

The next day happened to be a Sunday, which was by far the busiest day for the restaurant. We always got pumped on a Sunday.

And, whilst the kitchen team were scurrying about trying to make the food and clean the dishes, all the mania going on – the wedding cake was sitting there on one of the tables. It was there in the morning and into the afternoon, and it kinda cut off the use of that table, whilst we were in this violent atmosphere.

Dave finally got pissed off that it was in the way. And, he said to me,

“Harry. Get a bin bag and take that cake out to the bins. Throw it away.”

So, I did as I was told. I suppose I was ‘following orders’. But, I wish I had taken a moment to check with Robin whether that was okay. It was a bit stupid of me to just head out to the big stinking bins out the back, and throw the wedding cake away.

And – without exaggeration – Robin came into the kitchen about twenty minutes later, looking for his cousin’s wedding cake. He went up to Dave, wondering where it had went.

I didn’t hear the exact dialogue between them because it was so noisy, but I do remember the line from Robin,

“Please don’t tell me you chucked the wedding cake out.”

And Dave responded,

“Yeah, we fookin’ chooked it out!”

Dave was just a total dick about it, and didn’t even apologise. It turned out that the wedding cake had cost £400.

[anamaleth]

Transcript:

ERIC I want you to find my son. If Mary is – if she’s gone, or worse, I want you to make sure he’s alright.

GERTRUDE (amused) Hm. I’m not exactly a mother figure.

ERIC You could hardly do worse than her.

GERTRUDE Fine. But I don’t know what growing up with Mary has done to him. If he’s… gone rotten, I can’t promise anything.

ERIC I understand.

GERTRUDE I suppose he might be useful.

ERIC (dry) Oh, sentimental as ever.

GERTRUDE Hm.

GERRY And in the end, it was Gertrude who saved me.

She came to me when I was desperate, nowhere to go, and she offered to help. I just had to make sure I took the book while my mum was fading, and brought it to her, and then she would free me.

I didn’t really believe her, I don’t think, but I did it anyway.

When she returned the book to me a week later, her pages burned and mangled, I think I actually cried with relief.

GERTRUDE Gerard may have a connection to the Eye, but I’m not convinced it would be enough. And I will admit I’ve grown… fond of the boy.

ARCHIVIST (Statement) And it was in that state that your associate found me. At the time I thought he was your son.

GERTRUDE Curiosity is a very dangerous trait in our line of work, Gerard.

GERRY So is ignorance.

[Gertrude laughs]

GERRY Can I use your wastepaper bin?

GERTRUDE Yes, it’s just –

Wait. Surely you didn’t bring it here!

GERRY Well, yeah, I, uh –

GERTRUDE Gerard, we’ve talked about this.

Bringing unvetted artefacts or books into the Archive is incredibly dangerous.

GERRY It’s locked away!

GERTRUDE And I’m sure the lock is very sturdy, but that doesn’t stop it being an unnecessary risk.

GERRY (softer) Yeah. I’m sorry.

GERTRUDE This is exactly the sort of thing that will get you killed!

GERRY I said I was sorry!

[Brief pause]

GERTRUDE Then we’ll say no more about it.

I don’t enjoy being hard on you, but I really would rather you stayed broadly intact.

GERRY I’m touched. You’re going soft in your old age.

GERTRUDE (heh) Well, you are occasionally useful. Despite your foolishness.

GERRY Flatterer.

GERTRUDE Heh. You can probably burn it in the back courtyard, if you’re careful.

GERRY Yeah, will do.

GERTRUDE And for goodness’ sake, make sure no one sees you. The last thing we need is a letter to Elias about book burnings.

GERRY Look, if you have somewhere better to burn these books, then –

GERTRUDE (overlapping, jokingly over-the-top) Of course, Gerard!

I just happened not to mention the network of sinister tunnels that snake beneath the Archive where I keep all my darkest secrets.

GERRY I mean, you joke, but there could be! It’s that kinda place.

GERTRUDE I rather hope I would have found them by now. I like to think I’m not a complete incompetent.

GERRY Until dementia hits.

GERTRUDE Given my choice to confide in you, I rather suspect it already has.

Go burn your book!

GERTRUDE Oh, and, Gerard –

GERRY Hm?

GERTRUDE Don’t go rifling through my things in future. It could end… badly for you.

GERRY I never even considered that my mum might have taught Gertrude how to make pages for it before she was destroyed.

[Sigh] I think you know the rest. I joined Gertrude’s work for a few years. Didn’t realise how ill I was until it finally caught up with me. Then I died. I think… I think I finally understand why she brought me back. I just don’t understand why she left me behind.

[Beeping]

CELIA Is this place all yours?

GERRY (laughing) With London rent? Hardly!

Don’t get me wrong, landlord’s lovely and all, but no, I still share it with Gee Gee.

CELIA Gee Gee?

[Gertrude enters.]

GERTRUDE That would be me.

GERRY Visitors, Gee Gee!

GERTRUDE Yes, I can see that, Gerry.

GERTRUDE What exactly did you say was your business with my grandson?

GERTRUDE Well I’m sorry, but I don’t think Gerry can help you-

GERRY And come back soon! Always a pleasure to chat with old friends!

GERTRUDE I don’t know they’ll have much reason to, Gerry. (to Sam) Good luck hunting elsewhere.

GERRY (muffled) I liked them.

GERTRUDE (muffled) Of course you do.

crumbling into a million pieces

[kangyeosaang]

how to fix grainy gifs

you won’t 100% but this helps a little 💕

idk how many of you are using this already but hopefully it will help someone out when saving gifs. but basically in this tutorial kinda thing i’ll try to explain how to play around with your colour palette to have your choice of 256 colours bc PS can be a b*tch. 

sometimes when i save a gif none of the settings look as good as a want them and gifs end up looking a bit more whitewashed or just plain grainy. so here’s what i do as a last resort after changing the coloring 81516 times, making the blacks darker, getting rid of colours or making to colours a bit more homogeneous (i.e.: shifting megantas to red, shifting cyans/greens to blue etc etc)

01. have your gif ready... safe for web all them usual stuff

02. have the 2-Up tab active in case you don’t already

03. sort your colour palette by popularity

we only need this step to know which colours we can get rid of

04. get rid of the last 1-2 rows

this really depends on how grainy your gif looks before this. i usually just start with one row and if it’s still bad i get rid of another. but select (with ctrl/cmd or shift) the colours you don’t need (since we are sorting by popularity removing these won’t be that big deal) and just click on the bin icon.

05. add your colours

now since this part of photoshop is extremely user friendly and highly intuitive we are going to do the following. click on the color picker and from your original gif click on a colour you want in your optimized gif (i usually do this with 1600% zoom so i actually see what i’m clicking on)

now at this point all the settings will disappear because the original window is selected, so we need to go back to our hand icon and with it select our optimized gif (here the bottom one, duh)

and now once we are back we can click on that paper icon that’s supposed to be an add icon according to some designer at adobe apparently

once you are done, the colours you added will have a square in the corner meaning they are locked, so even if you change perceptive/selective/adaptive your colours will remain, so you can also play around with those if you feel like it. if none of them vibe with you, you can get back to your palette by clicking on custom. 

if for some reason you don’t want your colours anymore, you can unlock them, by clicking on this in the option menu.

06. save as usual business

also don’t forget to marvel at your creation that basically got like around 1.4% better, but as a CC your soul will feel extremely calm, even tho nobody else will be able to tell. but you’ll know, deep down you’ll know that it was way worse before all this. but we still only have 256 colours so like.... don’t get your hopes up that much ahsgdfasd

okay this is it, as i said I hope this helps somebody out there, and if you have questions or anything my askbox is always open 💕

[fullofsunsetwhispers]

Do you think Jack still has that robot he made out of his mom's blender or whatever?

Haha, I wish but I don't think so.

Let's say, the way I see how that robo-blender incident turned out, can be compared to a 5-year-old making rather dangerous experiments. How would you react if you saw your child making a mess even tho you asked them not to? Probably you would be angry. How would you react if you found out your kid was tinkering with something that belonged to you and now you can't use it anymore? If you're considerate enough, you'll explain why that behavior was wrong but still, you would be either upset or angry.

So, let's put ourselves in Mrs. Spicer's shoes. You want to make dinner for your family, so you decide to use one of your favorite kitchen appliances - the blender. You approach it and turn it on when suddenly in mere seconds it grows metallic limbs, and several other parts, which aren't supposed to be there. If something similar happened to me I would be extremely scared so I assume Jack's mom almost went bonkers when the blender started rushing toward her.

I can even see that poor woman, not being aware the Blender-bot doesn't want any harm, would hide somewhere in their mansion. My other assumption, I think it's very typical imagery for comedic moments in cartoons, is that Mrs. Spicer couldn't even make it out of the kitchen so she just jumped on the table/ kitchen counter/anywhere the Blender couldn't reach her and stayed there until Jack's dad arrived to 'save her' lol.

Unless Jack gave the blender a knife - then Mrs. Spicer's fear would be justified.

As we know, Jack rebuilt the blender out of spite. His mom didn't agree to let him attend knife-throwing lessons. He wanted to punish her in some way for that, and tbh these first signs of malicious intent would concern every parent. The only reasonable thing that Jack's parents came up with is to order him to dismantle/destroy the robot. Or Mr. Dad was so angry he destroyed the blender himself and then yelled at Jack for such a dangerous prank. Oh, and I'm 150% sure Jack was grounded afterward.

But, as I said, these are my assumptions. And you have to agree Jack was completely at fault in that particular instance. Not only was it malicious but Mrs. Spicer seriously had the fright of her life. In addition, losing the blender was a certain cost for the family (yeah yeah they're rich so it didn't hurt their wallets at all but still. When your kid does something with expensive house gadgets you have to explain how important that thing is so it won't happen again).

On top of that, Mrs. Spicer had only the best interest regarding these extra activities for Jack and did what every reasonable mother should do. She said 'no' to knife-throwing lessons to prevent 1. Jack's possible future injuries 2. possible accidents at home, which would involve Jack throwing knives at furniture, paintings, and simply everything. With that in mind, Jack's outburst was kinda cruel. I'm sure he wasn't aware of the consequences and even if he were - he wouldn't even consider that his mom could be in danger because of the blender-bot. Deep down, Jack is an empathetic person. And that statement leads me to make the conclusion - Jack felt sorry for what his mom has gone through because of his prank. Well, he wasn't sorry for the rest, tho. In his opinion, she had to be punished for not listening to his needs (oh my this boy's moral compass is messed up, isn't it). But, y'know, keep in mind he was younger and couldn't understand Mrs. Spicer's decision for ice-skating lessons was for his own good.

To conclude - nope poor blender-bot ended up in the trash bin. At best, Jack kept one part/screw as a keepsake. If your infuriated parents tell you to throw something away you just have to do it in order to calm things down.

[superman86to99]

Superman: Under a Yellow Sun (1994)

As the cover says, this is supposed to be one of the novels written by Clark Kent when he's not reporting the news or fighting giant gorillas who shoot kryptonite from their eyes. This graphic novel has two sections: Clark's novel, which is about a former Navy Seal called Guthrie who gets mixed up in a plot full of intrigue and romance, and the real world scenes, where we see Clark struggling with the aforementioned plot while his agent breathes down his neck.

Turns out Clark's novel is due in a week and he's got a major case of writer's block. It doesn't help that he's been kinda busy dealing with a mysterious criminal mastermind who has been supplying Metropolis' street gangs with giant sci-fi guns with big logos that say "LexCorp" on them. Whoever could that be? Oh, and while fighting those gangs he finds out his previous novel is now sold on bargain bins, which had to hurt more than those super-lasers.

Superman confronts Lex Luthor about those weapons, but obviously he has already covered his ass by reporting them stolen. While at it, Lex tells Superman to come work with him and make a ton of money, like he did the first time they met, although I get the impression that this time he's doing it just to mess with him; it's almost like Lex knows Clark Kent is worried about having to give back the book advance he already spent if he doesn't finish his dang book soon.

Superman rejects the offer, of course, but his financial woes trigger a creative breakthrough: in the novel, Guthrie travels to the tropical island of Corto Maltese and is offered a job by a filthy rich businessman called Preston Tagger, who is basically Luthor with a goatee. Unlike Clark, however, his literary alter ego ACCEPTS the money from the corrupt fat cat. To cement the fact that this is book is some sort of wish fulfillment fantasy for Superman, Guthrie even hooks up with a character clearly based on a sexy LexCorp lawyer Clark met while investigating those "missing" weapons, Joanna DaCosta.

Yeah, no goatee this time; she's straight up the same character. In fact, even Lois "A Pair of Glasses Fooled Me For Years" Lane notices that Clark appears to be sweet on the lawyer and confronts him about it. This leads to what has to be the most serious argument we've seen in their relationship (so far).

Perhaps to prevent any further relationship troubles, Clark also introduces a very obvious version of Lois: a principled reporter who despises Guthrie for working with Trager. Joanna makes things, uh, harder for Clark when she shows up at his apartment one night and indicates that she's almost ready to give him evidence against LexCorp, because watching a man die due to those super-weapons gave her a crisis of conscience. She also offers to give him other things, but Clark tells her he's a taken man.

Right after she leaves, Clark writes the scene where Guthrie consummates his romance with the thinly disguised book version of Joanna, so it's pretty clear that Lois does have something to worry about... but not for long. The plane carrying Joanna and her evidence against Luthor conveniently blows up and Superman isn’t able to save her. Enraged, he goes to Luthor’s place but stops himself right before doing something drastic to him. Guthrie does the same thing with Trager in the novel -- right until the "stopping himself" part.

It's Lois who tells Clark (after snooping on his novel without permission) that killing the bad guy doesn't really solve anything. It takes a further pep talk from Perry White to get Clark to realize that Lois was right, and he rewrites the ending so that Guthrie actually takes down Trager's criminal empire with help from the "Lois" character and a "Perry" one (there's also a "Jimmy" one somewhere in there, but he contributes nothing substantial to the plot, true to life).

At the same time, Clark eats his pride and asks Lois for help with the LexCorp story. Together, they follow the evidence and bring down... not Luthor, but at least the guy who blew up the airplane, so that’s something. Months later, Clark wins the prestigious Zenith Award (best known as the "Baldy") for his new novel, and Luthor even congratulates him on that detestable Trager character.

Oh, and Clark gets a letter from Joanna telling him she missed that flight that exploded, but the whole "almost dying in a fiery explosion" thing made her rethink turning on Luthor and she's just gonna go into hiding forever now. We end with a short scene where Guthrie says he may not have gotten rich during his tropical vacation, but at least he can live with himself. Plus, the “Lois” character seems to like him now, so it wasn’t a total wash.

Creator-Watch:

This graphic novel is written by John Francis Moore, who also wrote the non-continuity Superboy series based on the late '80s/early '90s TV show (which we're veeeery slowly covering on our Patreon... more soon!). The book sections are drawn by Eduardo Barreto, who also did Lex Luthor: The Unauthorized Biography and the issue where Superman finally brings down Intergang, so he's like the official artist for gritty crime stories around these parts.

Meanwhile, the real life parts are by the great Kerry Gammill, who was a regular contributor to the Superman books around 1988-1990... and might have started this one around that time, since he was notoriously slow. Sadly, this book is his last major Superman project to date (though if you wanna argue that his two pages in Superman: The Wedding Album are "major" I won't argue with that).

Plotline-Watch:

We can establish that this story takes place shortly before Clark and Lois' engagement not just through the state of their relationship (close, but not so close that she'd know he's an alien), or the fact that Lex Luthor is still overweight and bald, but thanks to the poor sales of Clark's first novel. Back in Superman #49, a month before the engagement, Clark shows Lois that The Janus Contract is on the bargains table at a bookstore and she comforts him by telling him he's in good company (does "J.L. Byrne" still count as "good company"?). Presumably he found out about the fate of his book during this story and decided to show Lois not long after that.

This is the second in-story instance of the Zenith/Baldy Awards, introduced during the "Dark Knight Over Metropolis" storyline, and we'll see the third and (I believe) last one soon-ish in 1994 or early 1995. This is the only thing that messes up my timeline above, since Luthor "died" shortly after Lois and Clark got engaged and presumably it took more than a few days for Clark's novel to be edited, printed, distributed, and win the award. Let's just pretend Lex has long red hair and an Australian accent in that scene at the end to make it work.

It would have been cool if the writers had brought back Joanna to testify against Luthor in the main books around this time now that he's finally about to go down, but given that this was a fancy graphic novel (with a fancy $6 cover price) I can see why they didn't.

If only Lois had been there at the writers' room for Zack Snyder's Man of Steel...

[wearywinchester]

Something Old and Something New — Part Three

Mechanic!Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: When life takes a turn and you take an unexpected break from college in Stanford with your best friend Sam, you return home to your job at your family’s co-owned garage. You return home to work alongside the guy you thought you hated—Dean Winchester.

Word Count: 4.4k

Warnings: angst, mild swearing, mentions of alcohol, jealousy, arguing, fluff

Today was the day.

The day your best friend Sam would be back in town any minute now. The day you’d see the expression to match the words he’d spoken to you on the phone just a few nights back. You told him about Stanford, about the way you felt uncertain of your return there and the way you felt about finishing your degree. Of the way you felt you might not have wanted to go there in the first place. Well, you did, but the beginning always seemed to be different.

But you told him. You finally broke it to him after days and days of stewing on it since you’d come back home, after days and weeks and months of letting it simmer back at college. No matter how much you gave yourself a pep talk for that conversation, told yourself it’d be fine and no matter how many deep breaths you took, you still found yourself shaking as you held your phone to your ear.

He was just as understanding as you thought he’d be, a quality Sam Winchester had that would never falter. You could hear it in the way he sighed on the other end, not one of disappointment but one sounding as though he’d already known this phone call was going to happen. You were sure he did, you don’t think you were great at hiding your discontent, but it only did so much to soothe your nerves on the subject. Because truthfully, it was still a big deal, still a big decision that you seemingly already made for yourself without having gone through with it.

But the weight that sat heavy on your shoulders felt a little lighter, that tension easing a little more.

Now, now you’re at Benny’s house, lights strung from the back porch just waiting to be switched on in the evening hours. The ones he’d used each and every time an event like this happened in the warmer months. The grill was going and cooking some of the best food you’d ever have, the smell of it filling the air and making its way into the house. Lawn chairs were set up in the backyard as family and friends made their way in until the whole group had arrived and filled the late Saturday afternoon air with the boisterous cheer that came with them.

Mary had brought her family famous homemade apple pies, a slice already taken out of one of them with only Dean to blame. There’s no way he would admit to it on his own despite being the pie enthusiast of the bunch, not a chance, but you knew by the scent of cinnamon on his breath when he hugged you, by the residue you swiped from the corner of his mouth that it was him. Mary knew just by the look on her son’s face, getting him a light smack to the back of his head for digging in.

Bobby had brought more than enough beer and Jody just the same but you were sure the accidental blunder wouldn’t be a problem with this group.

It was shaping up to be a nice afternoon, the sun shining goldenly and the fresh air warm, a gentle breeze sifting through at just the right speed. The garage was closed for the weekend, offering a little break from some work for the first time in a few weeks. Benny’s old radio sat tucked on the back porch, classic rock playing as expected but it was more so playing softly in the background of everyone’s conversations more than anything at that point.

You wouldn’t miss these occasions for anything.

It wasn’t until then that your eyes laid on the younger Winchester as he walked out of the back door to join everyone else, a grocery bag of chips and pretzels in his hand and a smile on his face at the sight of his family talking amongst themselves in the comfort of the yard.

You were the first to get on your feet and hug him, arms tight around him and he nearly dropped the stuff in his hand. It was safe to say you missed him over the time you’d spent away from Stanford, and you were sure that much was obvious.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you missed me,” he chuckles, his free arm wrapping around you. You squeeze him all the more tightly, a hum having been your response as your smile stays the same. “And here I thought you abandoned me.”

You looked up at him then, lips pursed and gaze narrowed. “You know that wouldn’t happen in a million years.”

“I know, I know,” he says, eyes rolling lightheartedly as he smiles.

“Well if it isn’t my baby brother,” a voice sounds, that ever familiar voice, rumbling just behind you deeply.

“Do you have to say that every time?” Sam huffs, humor on the edge of his words as the corner of his mouth quirks up, his brow raised in an effort to maintain at least a little annoyance at his brother’s choice of words.

“You’re damn right I do. What kinda big brother do I look like?”

Sam tilted his head, biting the inside of his cheek as he set the bag down. “Do you really want me to answer that?”

The humor in Dean’s expression dwindled in that moment at Sam’s words, lips pursing before the corner of his mouth tugs upwards once more. “C’mere, Sammy.”

He tugs him in close for a hug and a pat on his back, his smile quick to return.

Things went as good as ever the more the day went on, the afternoon slipping into the evening as the burgers and barbecue rapidly became less and less until it’d been eaten. Dean had been responsible for at least three burgers and another two slices of pie, having you hot on his heels in a close second.

An old football had been tossed around, paired with a game or two of catch that’d become very close to turning competitive once Dean got ahold of his old mitt and you found yourself taking a turn up against him. Turns out you were far better than he expected, far better than you let on, and the surprise on his face had given you more than enough amusement.

You’ve got a few tricks up your sleeve and Dean was quickly starting to realize that.

Now you’d been looking for him as the sun dipped down lower in the sky, the chilly evening air beginning to take hold.

You laid your eyes on the green eyed Winchester, the one you’d found yourself wanting to see since he’d disappeared earlier that day after he gave Sam the hug you knew he’d get. You weren’t exactly sure just when it was that he’d run off, or if he even had for that matter, but your habit of scanning the room for him had left you coming up short each and every time you’d done it until now.

You caught sight of him on the back porch, the empty beer bottle in his hand being tossed in the recycling bin as he stood over the near empty cooler. It wasn’t until you’d walked up to him with crossed arms that he looked up, squinting against the setting sun to get a glimpse of you.

“Would you look who it is?” He says, digging around for the beer he likes.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

He shrugs his shoulders, a smile playing on his lips.

“Feel like I haven’t seen you all day, sweetheart,” he says as he swipes another beer from the cooler before closing the lid, standing upright again.

“And here I thought you’d run off ‘cause I beat you at your own game of ball,” you said, watching his eyes roll as you look up at him with a half-grin. “Seriously, what’s going on with you?”

He looked up at you briefly, the corner of his mouth quirking upwards as a laugh puffed out through his nose, one that’s half-humorous.

“Nothing,” he says.

You nod with a hum, entirely unconvinced as you stood there in front of him and he knew that, could tell by that look you’re giving him. You’d be right not to believe him, but he won’t admit it. He wouldn’t admit to the jealousy that simmered in the very pit of his stomach each time Sam stole your attention. He wouldn’t because he felt stupid for feeling that way. For feeling it over the fact that you’d spent most of the afternoon with Sam the moment he’d arrived.

He was your best friend, he knew it’d happen and he knew it with the way you talked about Sam, eyes bright and smile beaming at the mention of his brother. It made his stomach twist and churn and he knew it shouldn’t have, he knew he shouldn’t have been feeling that tight coil of jealousy building within himself over the mere thought of it but his mind took every scenario and ran with it. He felt childish but he couldn’t help it either.

He found himself wanting to be selfish and have you all to himself, but part of him told himself that’d be absurd. You were Y/n, the one he bickered with and the one that got on his nerves on a good day. But he knew that was changing, he knew it from the moment he started thinking about you more often than not, by the very way he enjoyed your company, having realized there might never have been a time he didn’t save for when you were kids who picked on each other.

He knew it was different and maybe that was the problem, and maybe he did run off for a little while just to ignore the way you spent time with Sam.

“You’re a terrible liar, you know,” you said, nudging his boot with your shoe.

“Is that right, sweetheart?” He asks, taking a sip from his beer, then another.

“Yeah, it is, Winchester,” you say, a smile pulling at your lips. You glanced over your shoulder, eyeing two empty lawn chairs across the yard. “I don’t suppose you’re too grumpy to sit with me, are you?”

Your smile widens as you watch his brows furrow, a scoff leaving his lips as you turn on your heel and head towards the chairs.

“Grumpy? Who says I’m grumpy?” He says behind you.

You sigh as you sit down, trying not to take notice of the way he pulls his chair just a little closer to your own as you sit paces away from the fire Benny and Bobby sparked up in the pit. He tucked his beer in the cup holder, crossing one ankle over the other before tipping his head back against the back of his chair, a smile on his lips.

“What?” You ask, the curiosity in your tone as you sit up a little straight.

“Nothin’,” he mumbles, head shaking as his eyes fall closed for a moment.

“Dean, spit it out,” you say, swatting lightly at his shoulder.

You watched the grin on his lips widen a fraction, lips pursing to try and hide it but failing miserably. “It seems to me like you miss my company.”

It was your turn to scoff as you rolled your eyes, “don’t get ahead of yourself, Winchester.”

But he knew better than to believe that, because you can deny it all you want but the tone in your voice says otherwise. He can hear your smile in your words, and upon stealing a glance at you, he sees that very smile as you shake your head in faux annoyance.

You tug your flannel tighter around yourself as you stretch your legs for a moment, taking notice of the way the arms of your chairs had been brushing over top of each other, of the way you’d been close enough to bump elbows. You tried not to think of the fact that he’d put himself that much closer to you on his own, for reasons you hadn’t been aware of.

You tried not to let that flutter in your stomach go awry, tried not to let it burst into more like a kid with a crush because that would simply be foolish. Tried not to dwell on the fact that he’d been sitting with you, at the way you’d made him smile, otherwise your cheeks would burn and burn, hotter than the fire in front of you.

The transition between two people determined to annoy the other to the best of their abilities, and the way the two of you acted now had been one you didn’t quite know how you got to. You came back to Kansas with dread knotting up inside your stomach at the mere mention of the older Winchester, the very thought of him having you roll your eyes. To be fair, you still do that quite a bit, but now you find yourself seeking out his company when he strays a little too far. Now you find yourself smiling like a fool in his presence in a way that has you hiding it behind wit and humor.

You had no idea he’d felt the very same way.

You looked over to him, eyes on him as he looked ahead. The glow of the fire danced across his skin, shadowing every contour of his face, illuminating the sheen of sweat glimmering lightly over the bridge of his freckled nose.

You watched as he took a swig of his beer before putting the bottle in its rightful spot, his gaze shifting to you in a moment’s notice.

“What?” He asked, the single word amused as he caught you staring.

The corner of your mouth darts upward and you look away, head shaking and heart fluttering. “Nothin’.”

You heard his snort, knew he was shaking his head just as much as you were. “If anyone’s the terrible liar here, it’s you, sweetheart.”

It’s your turn to laugh as you look at your lap, a moment passing before you look over at him once more. “‘M serious. It’s nothing, De.”

“Right, right. Whatever you say.”

He caught your gaze as his smile mirrored your own, green eyes glimmering against the light of the flames just feet away as those dimples by the very corners of his mouth appear ever so slightly. The teasing behind your grin softened considerably to a genuine smile, his knee nudging yours in a lightheartedly action to accompany his words.

It wasn’t until that moment that you were aware of just how close you’d been, close enough to feel his breath sweep over your lips and to smell the cinnamon of the pie he’d eaten. Close enough to have your cheeks burning over it.

But the moment was only that.

“Y/n.” You cleared your throat as you sat a little straighter in your chair, head turning in the direction of Sam’s voice. He stood there, hand running through his hair as he suppressed a yawn. “Ready to head home for the night?”

You smiled softly at him, nodding. You missed the way the softness of Dean’s grin had fallen as his jaw tensed ever so slightly, the inside of his cheek sitting between his teeth.

You were in a daze for a brief moment as you sat on the edge of your seat before you turned to Dean, hand reaching up to grab his chin softly in a lighthearted pinch, the pad of your thumb resting over the dimple sitting pretty in it.

“Night, Dean,” you say, getting up from where you sat with him.

He smiles softly, swallowing thickly as he watches you stand there. He swallowed down that feeling bubbling up and threatening to spill out. Because it was him that you rode with to Benny’s house that day, listening to Zeppelin with the windows down. It was him that you’d been seemingly content with riding along with, and it was him that had plans to drive you back home. And now those plans had changed and there he sat by himself as you smiled that smile at him with his brother just over your shoulder.

“Night, sweetheart.”

—

Things were different.

Things were vastly different from what they were nearly three weeks ago back at your Uncle Benny’s. And things were a whole new kind of different from the time you first came back to that very day in question when Sam had come back into town.

You don’t know what it was, couldn’t narrow down the possibilities of what could have changed between you and Dean, what could have changed him. Maybe it was something that you’d never end up knowing in the long run, and maybe it was nothing at all. Maybe the days and weeks you’d spent working alongside one another without so much of that bickering, no matter how lighthearted, was just that.

He was happy as ever to see his brother, you knew for a fact he would be because that’s how it’s always been. But ever since that get-together, it was different.

“What is your problem?”

He snorted, his laugh void of humor as he looked away, tongue swiping along the inside of his cheek that was all telling of the anger that was simmering in the pit of his stomach.

“I don’t have one, sweetheart,” he says, the nickname less than fond in that moment as he tossed an empty bottle of oil in the trash to his right, taking the rag in his hand to wipe away the little bit of mess he made having been far too distracted thinking about you with that crease between his brows, that brooding frown on his lips.

You knew for a fact his words have been anything but truthful, the complete opposite as you stand in front of him, watching his attention pull from you in favor of looking under the hood of the car he’d been working on. A job that easily could have been done by now had his mind not been so preoccupied with the very person who’d asked him what his problem was.

He knew you saw right through him, he was a terrible liar when it came to you and he knew that. It’s not like it hadn’t been so terribly obvious that he had one, it was just as close to saying he did without actually saying it.

You saw it with the way he didn’t linger at the front desk as often to talk to you, to swipe the candy you’d had in that jar you kept just to see you roll your eyes. You saw it with the way he’d struck up fewer conversations, more about work and less about personal talk. At the crease etched deeper between his brows and the dimples pressed at the corners of his mouth in a display of his discontent. It was different and it was quiet.

Actions all staved off by the occasional smile. He still brought you coffee and he still waited for you to drive off first at closing time. But it was lined with an edge of tension.

“You’re lying,” you say, brows furrowing as you cross your arms over your chest.

“I’m not lying, Y/n. I’m busy,” he mumbles, tugging his hand away and shaking it out when his finger gets poked by a jagged car part.

“You’re being weird, Dean,” you press, insistent to pull whatever he’s got going on out of him to talk about it. He is acting weird and you know it. If the days and weeks and months and years you’d known Dean Winchester, he hasn’t quite acted like this.

He straightens his stance a bit more as he turns to face you with a glance on the brink of being annoyed, a huff blowing past his lips. You simply raise your brow in your own persistence, lips pursed lightly.

“Are you done?”

“Not until you tell me why you’re acting weird. And don’t tell me there’s nothing ‘cause I know you a little better than that,” you say, watching his brows drop from how they were raised, those very dimples by his mouth deepening as he stands mere inches from you and casts his gaze down at you.

“Just having an off day. ‘S that a good enough answer for you, sweetheart?” He asks, the corner of his mouth quirking up.

“No,” you say. You watch as he rolls his eyes and shakes his head, turning in his heel with a chuckle as he continues his work. “Considering you’ve been like this ever since Benny’s barbecue, it’s not a good enough answer.”

“Then tell me, Y/n. My baby brother came home from college for the first time in months. Do enlighten me on what it was that day that could possibly make me Oscar the Grouch,” he says, flashing you a look.

You heave a sigh, heavy and impatient as you bite the inside of your cheek, feeling as though you’re going in circles with no end in sight. His stubbornness was stronger than ever in that moment as he brushed everything off, as he acted nonchalant despite the clear irritation simmering away within him.

“Would it kill you to be straightforward, Dean?” You ask, your own annoyance wrapping around every word. “Seriously, what’s your problem?”

“Why don’t you ask Sammy?” He says, voice low and muffled from where he stood facing away from you.

You frown in confusion at the question. “What?”

“I said why don’t you ask Sammy?” He repeats, and now you’re sure you heard him correctly as he turns his head but still avoids your gaze.

You try to make sense of what he’d just said, standing still in your spot as you watch his white-knuckled grip on the edge of the car’s front end. Of the crease between his brows and the tension increasing in his jaw that told you he wasn’t joking, that he was in fact very serious.

It took a second, a minute even, before it clicked for you. “Wait a minute, are you jealous?”

He laughs then, bitter as he wipes the grease from his hands on the tattered rag he kept tucked in his back pocket.

“You think I’m jealous of my brother?” He says, tone full of a surprise you knew wasn’t real.

“Yeah, Dean, I do,” you say, gazing up at him. “You’ve been acting weird ever since I told you Sam was coming home to visit, and now it makes sense why.”

“Easy there, detective. Don’t get ahead of yourself,” he says, trying his hardest to stave off the way his heart had been hammering in his chest and the way he wanted so badly to admit that maybe he was, even though it’d been painfully obvious.

He wouldn’t though, he’d keep being stubborn because he felt that was in his best interest to be.

“You always do this,” you huff, your frustration evident.

“Do what?”

“You keep skirting around the obvious, Dean. You always do that when you don’t want to talk about something. I know that about you. You can say otherwise all you want, I don’t really care,” you say, voice rising slightly in your anger as you feel your cheeks burn. Your chest heaved a bit more than normal, heart pounding in your chest as you stared up at him. “Why can’t you just admit it?”

His gaze on you is stoic, nostrils flaring and lips still pursed as he looks down at you. The flurry of emotions he felt was a little harder to see outwardly, but you knew they were there. You knew it just like you knew there had to be a myriad of thoughts running through his head, but what they’d been about was something you didn’t.

Moments passed like that, seconds, until his expression changed, a humorless chuckle rumbling in the back of his throat as he shook his head.

“For not wanting to be a lawyer, you damn sure know how to argue,” he said, a bite behind his words that had your cheeks burning hotter.

Now it’s your turn to laugh, partly out of surprise at his words, and partly to stave off the tears that pressed heavily behind your eyes the more you thought about them. The hurt you felt in that moment had struck you harder than you cared to admit, not so much at his dig as the very fact that you were arguing with him to begin with.

It wasn’t unlike the two of you to toss around witty comments about the other, to bicker over anything, most often lightheartedly. The two of you had been like that with each other your entire lives. But this, this was different. It was different because you enjoyed his company more often than not. It was different because you knew you didn’t hate him, you don’t think you ever did.

“Maybe I will go back to Stanford with Sam. You know, since I’m such an outstanding lawyer.”

You watch as he nodded, the corner of his mouth quirking upwards as he looked away for a moment and really thought about what you said. Of the very words spoken out of anger just to make him angry and it worked. He didn’t know the meaning of your words other than the way they fed the jealousy brewing in the pit of his stomach, a feeling that was rapidly beginning to boil over.

“That’s a great idea. Hell, I’ll even pack your bags,” he says, smug and entirely amused as he watches your brows furrow.

It wasn’t until you shook your head, it wasn’t until he saw the way your eyes glossed over and your expression turned angrier in an attempt to hide that vulnerability that his amusement dissolved. Without another word, you swiped your keys from the counter, strong-willed as you twist the doorknob and leave, slamming the door behind you.

His jaw tenses and his lip quivered under his anger, flinching at the action and fist clenching as he turned away from the door as he stood alone. Before he could give it second thought he threw the rag in his hand down, arm sweeping over his workbench and sending every tool that sat on it to clatter to the ground in a heap of metallic clinks that echoed in the empty garage. He ran his hands through his hair and drug them down his face, exhaling a huff.

He had you. He had you and he blew it.

—

Series taglist: @myloversgone @colereads @stoneyggirl2 @samsgirl93 @poptart06294

General taglist: @flamencodiva @stixnstripesworld @elegantbutedgy @humanmistakes @agalliasi @campingmonkey @deandaydreaming @lanea-1 @akshi8278 @kidd3ath

[arvandus]

CONGRATS ON 500 OMG 🎉🎉🎉 IT'S MORE THAN DESERVED!!!!

Can I put in a request for All Might, #35 with a fluff ending?

Sooo.... I’m gonna be honest, I was so excited when I saw this request because.... angsty dialogue with a happy ending?  That shit is my jam.  And with All Might?  Perfect.

 A couple things before we get started: I went with All Might in his skinny form, cuz the prompt lends itself to that (so sorry if you were hoping for buff Might!) Also, took the artistic liberty of giving reader a healing quirk for this one called ‘Cat’s Cradle.’ You’ll (hopefully) see why it’s called that when you read it…

 I hope you enjoy, and sorry it’s taken so long to get this out!

 Um... Warnings: Blood (sorry, it’s Yagi... kinda a given), angst + happy ending

 Word Count: 3,223 and no regrets!

35. “I can’t sit here and watch you destroy yourself.”

 There was a familiar knock at your door, and in an instant you knew exactly who it was.  Your teeth clenched, your jaw stiffened.

 You weren’t going to answer it. Not this time.

 Knock knock knock

 You waited, frozen, unwilling to move, yet listening intently.  The sound of wet, guttural coughing reverberated through the wooden barrier.

 God damn it.

 When it came to a certain world-famous hero, it didn’t really take much for you to give up your resolve.  You made your way to the door and peeked through the peephole.  Yagi supported himself with one hand against the door frame as his other hand clutched at his chest.  The front of his shirt was bunched in his grasp, blood coating his pale hands and the white fabric beneath it.  A curse fell from your lips as your hands unlatched the lock on your door, swinging it wide open.

 Yagi looked up at you with grateful blue eyes, sunken deep into dark pits. His wild, blond hair stuck to his ashen face with sweat, his brow furrowed in pain.

 “Hey,” he greeted with a lighthearted grin.

 “Jesus Christ, Yagi…” you growled.

 You grabbed him by the elbow and ushered him into your space before closing and locking the door behind you.

 There was no time to rush him into the bathroom like you normally did.  Instead, you had him sit in a dining chair and began to peel off his blood-soaked shirt.  Just as the fabric lifted off his head, another round of coughing doubled him over, blood splattering the tiled floor.

 “Shit…” Yagi muttered.

 “Don’t worry about it.” You replied.  But it was hardly convincing.  Your tone was cold and hard with frustration.

 You weren’t mad about the floor, though… honestly, you couldn’t have cared less. What mattered was the man currently looking like he was on Death’s doorstep.  It pained you to see him so clearly suffering, his skin covered in sweat and blood even as he tried to smile reassuringly at you.  It didn’t matter how bright his smile was; it held little weight against the scar carved into his side, or the atrophy that stretched over his bones.

 Your heart couldn’t handle much more of this.

 Gently, you pressed your hands against the front of Yagi’s shoulders until he was sitting up, back straight.  Even without his buff form, Yagi was tall.  With your body so close to his, you could feel his ragged breath on your cheek, hear the air rattling from his lungs like leaves.  You couldn’t help but look him in the eyes then, and a faint flush crept across his sallow cheeks that made your own skin feel hot.

 “Stay still.” You instructed.

 You carefully placed one hand in front of his chest and the other behind his back, your fingertips hovering over his body.  Glowing, translucent-white threads emanated from your fingers, passing through him to connect together deep within his lungs. Slowly, you began weaving, fingers dancing and flicking like a game of Cat’s Cradle as your quirk stitched and healed the damaged tissue.  It was painstaking work, what was left of his lungs already in poor condition, and the more he pushed himself past his limits, the harder it was to repair what he’d repeatedly broken.  Sweat beaded your brow as you worked, your hands moving meticulously.  One wrong move, one wrong stitch…

 But you’d done this countless times over the years.  It was nearly second nature to you now… you knew his body nearly as well as your own.  You stared at the glistening red staining from his lips to his chest as you worked, your vision blurred as you focused on your quirk’s senses.

 Slowly, you could hear Yagi’s ragged breaths begin to improve.  His gasps for air filled deeper into his chest, expanding his rib cage.  His exhales followed clean and steady.  The tension in his face relaxed, his brow smoothing over as he closed his eyes.

 Finally, you broke the connection and slumped into your own chair, exhaustion overtaking you.  It was far from perfect, but it was the best you could do given his level of deterioration. You watched Yagi take a few more deep, experimental breaths before he looked up at you.  You opened your mouth to scold him, your brow furrowed into a frown, but froze as soon as you saw his gentle expression become guarded as he prepared for your verbal onslaught.

 An ache filled your throat where your words were supposed to be, and you closed your mouth.  How easy it was to revert back to old habits when you were together.  The two of you were broken; the same old wounds seeping red because they were never given a chance to properly heal.

 You weren’t going to go through it again; not this time.  You were too tired.  And it wasn’t like it made much difference anyway.  It didn’t matter how much you begged, cried, or yelled.  Yagi wouldn’t stop.  He couldn’t stop.

Silence fell between you as you both stared at each other, the space between you feeling empty. No doubt your hurt was evident in your face, your body language, your eyes.  And if there was one thing you knew Yagi hated, it was seeing you upset.  He wanted to hold you.  You could see it in the way his body leaned towards you of its own accord, arms shifting just the slightest bit closer to your torso.  You could see the words on the edge of his tongue too, suspended between parted, bloodstained lips.

 Don’t. A part of you begged.  You didn’t want his comfort.  You didn’t want his excuses.

 Just as his mouth opened wider to speak, you averted your eyes and shifted your body away from him.  It was difficult – painful, as if you were a plant being pulled from the earth, fragile roots breaking in the soil.

 “You should go clean up.” You said quietly.

 Another long pause greeted you before he finally spoke.  “Yeah.  Okay.” He stood.  “Do you still have my clothes?”

 “Yeah. Dresser, bottom drawer.” You replied.

 Yagi excused himself, and a moment later you heard the sound of running water in the bathroom.  You stared at the bloodied floor and the stained shirt balled up on your table.  Nausea filled you, twisting your gut.

 Quickly, you grabbed your cleaning supplies and set to work, watching as the blood soaked into the white paper towels like an inkblot test.  Each fresh bloom of crimson spelled the foreshadowing you tried to erase, until you were wiping and scrubbing at the floor in frantic anger, tears dripping from your lashes.  It felt futile.  No matter how many paper towels you used, you always seemed to need more.

 By the end of it, the trash can was full, the roll noticeably smaller than when you had started.  You added Yagi’s ruined shirt to the top of the pile and stashed the bin away out of sight beneath your kitchen sink.  You’d take it out as soon as he left.  

 You could still hear the shower running in your bathroom, so you went to your living room and slouched onto your couch, waiting for Yagi to finish.

 You had hoped that cleaning up the mess would help reduce the severity from the situation, help you mask your growing fears.  But it was too late.  All you could see was red.  The red on his lips, the red on your floor, the red in the paper towels...

 The emotions you had hoped you could suppress until he left began to crest in you, and you vacated the living room in favor of the privacy of your bedroom. Maybe if you could let a few tears out during his shower, then you’d have enough composure until he left.  You curled onto your bed, your pillow clutched tightly in your arms as you buried your face into the plush fabric.

 For so long you’d held out, hoping that one day he’d understand.  That he’d see the damage to his body, see how quickly he was deteriorating.  That he’d see the fear in your eyes every time he showed up on your doorstep needing your help.  You’d hoped that your countless conversations would eventually amount to something, your words secretly unravelling the veil he chose to wear over his eyes as he fought battle after battle.

 It was that pesky, lingering hope that had been keeping you going.  Hope that eventually, there’d be an end to it all. Hope that Yagi could finally stop killing himself for the sake of the greater good.  Hope that the two of you could eventually pick up where you’d fallen and live a happy life.

 And it was hope that made you open the door for him each time.

 But now, that hope was finally gone.  You were done trying.  You realized it as soon as you’d finally given up talking to him – finally given up trying to save him.

 An emptiness took its place, cold and heavy.  Its absence gave no place for your love to nest, no place for your dreams to take root.  All you had left was the heavy, gut-wrenching reality that eventually, inevitably, you’d lose him.  Either he’d die in battle, or worse… He’d show up at your doorstep, his body beyond repair, and the only thing you’d be able to do is hold him as his lungs filled with blood.

 Your chest constricted so tightly at that single, horrible thought that you couldn’t even breathe, your lungs burning in a frantic need for oxygen.  There was nothing in the world worse than that single moment coming to life.  But you couldn’t erase it, couldn’t run from it.  It sat there, as real and permanent as the blood-soaked rags lurking in your kitchen trash.  You tried to suck air into your lungs, but the knot in your throat didn’t allow it, a suffocating sob lodged like a rock.  Your arms tightened around your pillow.

 You were going to lose him.  And there was nothing you could do about it.

 Grief settled itself onto your shoulders, heavy as an anchor.  Grief for a future that could never be. Grief for the death of a love that never fully had a chance to bloom. Grief for a man who would eventually slip through your fingers to become bones and dust, leaving nothing but the ache of his memory upon your soul.  You buckled under its weight, the heavy sob finally spilling from your parted lips as tears soaked into your pillow.

 You didn’t even notice as Yagi entered the room to find you curled up in your bed, sobbing.

 “Hey…” He whispered as he rushed over.

 His arms were around you in an instant, pulling you up against his bony chest, your head tucked under his chin.

 “Hey, hey…” he soothed as he held you.

 You leaned into his embrace, letting his presence envelop you.  Maybe you should have fought it; pushed him away instead of letting yourself indulge.  But it felt too good, too safe, and your arms tightened around him selfishly as you cried.  It brought back familiar memories of a time when the two of you had been happy, surrendering to your feelings for each other, before it all fell apart.  

 God, how you missed this.  Love had never been the issue for the two of you.  No, that was the easy part.  But it wasn’t enough.  Not when all of Japan rested on his shoulders, leaving little space for you no matter how deeply he cared for you.

 He held you as you cried, silently holding the space for you, his arms a safety net for all of the emotional weight you couldn’t carry alone.  Your tears soaked his shirt, your arms wound tight around his ribs, as you wished for nothing more than the power to change what was.

 “I don’t want to lose you…” you sobbed.

 “You won’t.” He replied.

 His words were meant to be comforting, but their effect was the opposite, making your heart ache even more at his inability to address the issue head on. He always was an optimist when it came to things of the heart.  It was part of what made him such a great hero.  But optimism wouldn’t save either of you here.

 You pulled away from him slightly, already missing the closeness of him.

 “Don’t…” you pleaded.  “Don’t do that.”

 Yagi looked down at your tear-stained face.  “Do what?”

 Quietly, you grabbed a tissue from the tissue box on your nightstand and wiped at your nose.  The material crumpled into a ball within your fist and you stared at it, your vision already blurring with fresh tears.

 “Don’t try to give me hope.” You replied.

 Yagi stared with wide eyes before withdrawing his arms. His expression fell, wounded by the truth in your honesty.  

 You struggled not to let it sway you.

 “I… I can’t keep doing this.” You whispered as you wiped the last of the tears from your cheeks. “Every time you show up on my doorstep, you’re worse than before. I won’t always be able to help you.”

 He watched you in silence for a moment before looking away in shame, his fingers interlaced in front of him as he leaned forward.  “I know.” He replied.

 Regret filled you at rejecting him.  You wanted him to touch you, to hold you. To have his presence surround you. To feel him alive beneath you, whole and here.  But you had to set a boundary.  You had to stop following him, stop hoping… if you didn’t, it would destroy you.

 Instead, you sat with your arms wrapped around yourself, a pitiful defense against the familiar allure of the man next to you.

 “You keep wanting me to save you, Yagi… but how can I save you if you won’t save yourself?”  You looked at him then, your eyes locking with his.  “You keep choosing to fight, to push yourself well past your limits. And you keep coming here, because you know that I still love you and won’t turn you away.”

 Yagi sucked air into his lungs, his posture going stiff at your words. You were right.  He knew you were right.  His inability to counter your statement was evidence enough of that.  Disappointment and guilt filled you as you broke eye contact to look at your shaking hands.

 “But… I can’t sit here and watch you destroy yourself. And you shouldn’t expect me to.” You whispered.

 The words were heavy, filling the empty space between you with their finality. You refused to look at Yagi; you knew he’d be hurt.  You knew his shoulders would slump in defeat, his mouth pulled into a deep frown.  Guilt filled you, making your hands fidget and your shoulders tense as you waited for his response.

 “You’re right.”

 His words were a whisper and your eyes snapped up to stare at him, bewilderment on your face.  He’d never said those words to you before... not about this.  His mask had cracked, and you could finally see his emotions flashing across his face as he struggled to transform them into words.  Remorse. Panic. Love. Fear.

 He cleared his throat and repeated himself.  “You’re right.  I have asked a lot of you.” His brow furrowed.  “I don’t know why I keep coming back.  I guess I just get… homesick.”

 Your breath hitched in your throat as your heart pounded like a battle drum in your chest.  You opened your mouth to respond, but the words were stolen from you when Yagi’s eyes met yours, deep and familiar.

 “I miss you.” He stated.

 “Yagi...” You cupped his cheek in your hand.  He leaned into it briefly, before removing your hand from his face and holding it within his own.

 “Listen... I... didn’t intend to come here for your help.  Not this time.  But you know how these things are...” He explained.  “I was on my way over when a villain showed up, and...” Yagi’s words faltered as he saw the expression on your face begin to fall.  He was doing it again, getting caught up in his work, making excuses... hurting you.

 He cleared his throat. “It’s... not important.  The point is, is that there was something I wanted to tell you.  But... I’m not sure it’ll make much of a difference.” He averted his gaze, his brows pulled together pensively.

 Your own brow furrowed in response, confused by his ambiguity.  A part of you was hesitant... you’d truly felt that you were done, that you’d reached your limit.  But could tell that whatever it was, it was important to him, and it was something that he wanted to share specially with you.

 “Just... tell me.” You said quietly, as you emotionally braced yourself.

 His blue eyes looked back at you, and he took a steady breath.  “Alright...”  He took your other hand in his own.  Now he held both of your hands between you as he sat with you on your bed.  “I... found a successor.”

 Your eyes widened, as you felt overcome with dizziness.  You were lightheaded, suddenly floating on his words that still lingered in the air like morning mist.

 “W... what??” you choked out.  Your heart pounded wildly as your hands gripped his, the warm, firm touch barely grounding you.

 “I found a successor.” He repeated, a slow smile starting to spread across his lips at your dumbfounded reaction.

 A smile began to spread across your lips.  “Does that mean... you’re retiring?”

 “Yeah-”

 Your lips were on his before he could say anything more, your arms flinging themselves around his neck.  He laughed against your lips as he returned the kiss, his arms wrapping around your waist to pull you into his lap.

 You pulled away for a moment and stared into his eyes. They sparkled with mirth, blue as a summer’s day.

 “Well, that went better than I expected...” Yagi teased.

 “Tell me it’s true.  You’re really done?” you asked.

 “Well, I still have to train my apprentice... he’s got a big heart and a strength in him that I don’t think he even realizes he has yet.  But it’s going to take some time for him to learn how to wield all that power.”  Yagi’s expression turned from happy to serious.  “And... I have to admit that I can’t retire just yet.”

 You opened your mouth to protest, but he covered your lips with his finger.

 “Hang on a second, firecracker.” He grinned.  “I will retire. But I still have remnants of One For All in me, and I need to protect this kid until he’s able to master that power.  I’ll still be All Might until that last spark leaves me. I’m sure you understand that much, right? I have a responsibility to him.”

 You brushed aside his long bangs, relishing in the feel of the golden locks between your fingers.  Of course, you understood.  You’d never expected it to be immediate anyway.  But at least things were in motion.  All he had to do was survive.  And if Yagi was good at anything, it was surviving.

 You had to believe in him.

 “Yeah...” you whispered.  “I understand.”

 Now it was Yagi’s turn to be surprised. “Really?”

 You smiled and kissed him again.  “Really.”

 You had hope.

[thesimperiuscurse]

08.04

It’s The Kingston Legacy’s sixth anniversary, so here’s a throwback post to celebrate! Last month I forced myself to reread the entire legacy, and while I stopped, clicked off the tab, and emitted a soundless scream of pure cringe numerous times (I wish I was kidding)—the past generations are actually not as terrible as I remember. I think enough time has passed for me to detach myself from the childish storytelling and look back in nostalgia. 

Thank you to my fellow Wordpress writers who have come along the journey, some for many years now, through every high and low. It’s astounding how much has changed in the legacy from when I was 15, and 21. Follow me down the (very) long memory lane, as I reminiscence about each story and my perspective on them now ❤

Generation 1 — Fern (2015)

To my shock, I found myself genuinely enjoying Fern’s story. I think this was because the first generation was purely me commentating on gameplay, and not trying to write a story (that’s when the cringe began). I was inspired by one of the original stories, Alice and Kev, to make a homeless sim and document her struggle for a better life: Fern, a snobby aspiring writer. Reading this, a huge wave of nostalgia hit me, and it reminded me of how wonderful Sims 3 gameplay is. Although I’m long past it now, there’s real heart and life in the design. I think it speaks about the rich personalities and quirks that I could write a whole life story off it. It was super fun making Fern camp out at Old Pier Beach, stealing from townie picnics and roasting apples on the fire, finding little ways to scrounge money, giving her a makeover in the salon, watching the townie dramas unfold around her. Although she faced homelessness two times and a shitty first husband (yeah, fuck off, Xander), Fern grew into a strong and independent yet sweet and gentle character, in love with the ocean like her great-granddaughter comes to be.  

I never actually addressed this, but she (and her love Christopher) passed away in the story between the end of Gen 3 and start of Gen 4. It just felt weird to make it a big deal because they never died in game—still ‘alive’ and well, scattered across different backup saves and the bin.  

Generation 2 — Briar (2015)

Briar’s story was strange, because it was half gameplay and half story, which meant that there were things that just did not... make... sense. She was quite an ‘unreliable’ character to follow because of her Insane trait. The plot revolved around her as a fresh detective, investigating supernatural phenomena in Sunset Valley. Her character arc was almost the opposite to her mother’s: a naive, optimistic, silly girl hardening through trauma into a cold and ruthless police chief. Ash’s death was the one moment I felt true sadness in this legacy, because he did really die. Imagine me actually getting emotional over my characters, lmao. Wild. 

Also, Max is OP. To this day he is one of the best male characters in my legacy, a healthy and supportive best friend (to husband) in stark contrast to the following generation. 

Fallen Angels — Cherry (2016-2019)

Yes. It’s this generation. Square the fuck up, Cherry. I will fight her any day. Old readers will know of my pure hatred for this story. It’s been about two years since it thankfully ended. My verdict now?

It’s not quite as horrifically shitty, Gabriel and Lilith being a lot nicer than I remembered (Gabriel’s only a bit of a dick at the start), but it still has glaring problems, such as the pacing and clumsy handling of sensitive topics. The story would have been far nicer if it focused less on Cherry and Luc’s relationship and their respective issues, more on the found family and her relationship with Gabriel (which was rushed due to me despising the story by that point). During the first chapters, I was cringing spectacularly at the combination of Luc’s initial jackass behaviour and Cherry’s whining. Toxic as FUCK. I had to skip 3.8 and 3.9 entirely. These two (because of my own shameful mistake) tainted the generation in my eyes, and even though all of the characters grew from their toxicity, I can’t really see past that guilt to the better parts of the story. 

Jade has been telling me for years that this story isn’t all bad, and upon forcing myself to reread, I can see what you mean. I’m sorry LOL. Something that pleasantly surprised me was the writing quality (just the prose, not the actual story mechanics... lmfao), and Raphael, who made me smile every time he appeared. Every single careless, sarcastic line of his was a banger. The pictures are something else I like, too. Many of them stand up to the best ones in En Pointe—the fiery, gritty, industrial tones of Bridgeport just hits different. The world was rich and immersive, which is missing at the moment in En Pointe because of me being too lazy to build a proper Los Angeles world, but Act III is set in Boroughsburg so I’m excited to get back into the city scenes. 17 year old me wasn’t mature enough to tackle dark themes, but at least the visuals for them were nice, I guess. The atmosphere of the story I really enjoy. It’s just the toxic characters and way-too-angsty moments that ruin the whole thing for me. 

En Pointe — Evangeline (2019-)

And here we are now! The early chapters are kinda painful to read because 1) Mako looked so ugly and 2) the dialogue was so clumsy and generic. I sighed in relief when Chapter 5 came around, because it was then both of those aspects really began to improve. Eva’s voice was simple, with her punchy remarks, much less romantic and descriptive than Cherry, so it was interesting to see her voice becoming more complex and layered as I more understood her character. Also, me visibly struggling with the natural lighting and only getting a handle on it 7 chapters later has me shaking my head. 

I’m already beginning to identify issues with the story, mostly with character arcs and pacing. It’s a strange combination of fast pacing (spanning half a year in 8 chapters) and Eva becoming surprisingly comfortable with Mako’s touch due to their unusual pas de deux circumstances. It’s curious how real life time actually played into the pacing of the story—because of the slow publishing schedule, less time has passed in the story as real life, so it’s almost as if the time jumps were made up by real life time, making the jumps feel not too strange. Reading consecutively, however, Evako’s relationship growth doesn’t feel slow burn... a little underdeveloped, in a way, despite their lengthy conversations. I think that’s because of Mako being such a reserved and mysterious character, and that I’ve unconsciously come to rely on Tumblr to give more depth to the characters/relationships. Luckily, pretty much everyone who comments on the story also follows me here, so this dual-platform storytelling is okay, I suppose. I want to post more of #Mishako since there just isn’t enough time to explore their bromance in the story!

At the moment I’m not happy with the story, but it’s fine. I’m learning. There’s more than half the story to go, which means plenty of time to reflect upon the issues and improve. I’m really looking forward to Eva and Mako’s character arcs in Act III. At the moment their relationship is based on their natural chemistry and respect for each other, and since they are yet to face trials their bond isn’t super deep, but Evako are still my favourite couple in the legacy thus far, and feel much more real than any character I’ve written before. It’s been very interesting for my aro ass (and being way more logical than emotional) to figure out a dynamic that is actually compelling to me, because most of the time when I look at romance I’m just like 😐🤨 I’m liking it so far but we shall see how everything unfolds, because I have barely any idea what’s going to happen beyond Act II, lmfao. 

That’s it for my incredibly long throwback! I hope it was at least nice for the OG readers, and interesting for anyone else who managed to battle through this essay, haha. This family has been an integral part of me growing up, as a person and writer and artist (what I’ve developed in visuals I apply to architecture), learning a great deal of awareness about real life through story research, which is pretty cool now that I think about it. I’m aiming to finish En Pointe by the end of 2022. I’m excited for what unexpected changes are to come!