#it was so hard to pick what to include dear lord she’s done a LOT

[ninjagirlstar5]

Protag Teruya AU - Yuki Maeda's FTEs (Part 1)

I'm BAAAAACK!!!

Dear lord, first of all, I'm sorry I've been mostly radio silent on both of my SDRA2 projects. I was dealing with college, socializing in clubs, I got sick, got better, and then got sick AGAIN, and I've been streaming SDRA2 with my buddy on discord whenever they're available between all of that, so I have! Been! Busy!

But good news is, I've been plugging away at part one of Yuki and Protag!Teruya's FTE during my breaks slowly but surely, and now it's done! Hopefully the next updates won't take as long as before but perhaps we shouldn't get out hopes up too much. It's been a busy semester and I have no doubt it'll get busier now that I'm past the halfway point.

Anyways, are Teruya and Yuki hanging out okay? Let's find out.

AO3 Version

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

The Protag Teruya AU was inspired by @/anotherprofessional’s post! Beware of Void spoilers though!  

Fic is under read more!

Teruya watches Setsuka and Yoruko leave the U-Mart to hang out. This wouldn’t have bothered him as his own investigation of the U-Mart didn’t yield any clues, although he did get a better understanding of the area. Not to mention that he actually had a bit of fun categorizing and making a list in his head of all the supplies found in the store. It somewhat surprised Teruya that he would enjoy something as bland as this, but he was glad to learn a bit more about himself. Especially since his amnesia had left him with no clues about his own life. But he’s not surprised that Yoruko was a bit more disappointed with the lack of clues to escape the Killing Game. He can also tell that she was getting a bit bored about halfway through the investigation of the U-Mart. So Teruya understood why she’d leave as soon as she could with Setsuka, even if it’s only to take a break.

There was just…He has a hard time calling this a problem but it still left Teruya feeling very uncomfortable.

He slowly turns towards Yuki Maeda, who was also left behind despite investigating with Setsuka just mere minutes ago. Yuki catches his gaze and faces him with a raised brow. Teruya, realizing that he should probably say something, clears his throat.

“So…” Teruya starts, only realizing a few seconds too late that he had absolutely no idea where to go with this. Yuki scratches his cheek with his finger, averting his gaze.

“So.” Yuki said, but didn't add anything else. Almost like he had no idea what to say either. The thought actually gave him a little comfort, knowing that he wasn’t the only one that felt that way. “Um…So you chose the U-Mart as your first investigation?”

“Uhhh, yep.” Teruya gives him an awkward grin, trying to push down the uneasy feeling in his gut. “I didn’t really get a good look around the first time. I…It’s where I found out my amnesia was most likely permanent…” He trails off. Kokoro was the one to tell him that, but can he really trust her word for it? She’s the mastermind, after all. And yet, she’s also the Ultimate Psychologist, so that had to count for…something. Right?

“That makes sense. The U-Mart has a lot more stuff compared to the gift shop on the ship. Honestly, it feels more like a warehouse than an actual store though.” Yuki let out a sigh as if this didn’t really make sense to him. Teruya tilts his head.

“Really? It feels pretty normal to me.” Teruya looks around the store. One side of the store held food for them to pick out from, including convenience bentos that can be eaten cold or warmed up from the microwave, the middle held regular everyday and seasonal items, and the other side had tools that ranged from wrenches to drills. By the register was the alcohol, but he ignored it as he held no interest in it, especially since they were all minors. “Although, I guess if the store was a bit more specific then it would be more odd.”

“Specific…? Like, a clothing store?” Yuki curls his fist near his mouth. Teruya nods his head.

“Yeah, like…You wouldn’t find a clothing store selling food. That would be, like, false advertisement. People would only enter a clothing store for clothes, while they would go to a grocery store for food. Now, if there was a store that sells anything and everything, it’d only be natural that they would have a wide variety of supplies for the customers to search for. It’s not that uncommon…I think.” Teruya pauses. Yuki tilts his head.

“You sound like you know a lot about stores.” He points out. Teruya couldn’t deny that. If there was one thing he was certain about himself, it was definitely this. And yet, he didn’t know why he knew so much about stores. The puzzle piece was there, it’s just that he lacked so many others that there was no way he could understand what it could mean right now.

“It seems like it, haha…” Teruya said, rubbing his head. “I…uh, don’t know what that means about my life. My past life? It’s uh, a lot. It’s a lot.”

“Yeah, yeah, totally.” Yuki quickly goes quiet. So does Teruya and the little bit of small talk they managed to create disappears into awkward silence.

Teruya shifts on his feet.

He wants to say more.

But when he tries to think of something to say, it quickly grows into a struggle. Why? It’s not like they ever met before, at least according to Yuki. So there’s no reason to feel the way he does.

But every time he looks at him, he feels his stomach drop like he had fallen from a tall height. Something that made his chest tighten as his stomach twists and turns. It was a wariness that felt too damn familiar for him to ignore, but Yuki would only stare at him in pure ignorance.

Yuki didn’t know anything.

And with Teruya’s amnesia, he didn’t know anything either.

Which only made these feelings not only confusing but frustrating.

He wanted to talk to him more than anything else but he also didn’t because he doesn’t deserve his attention.

“Um…Teruya?” A small voice reaches his ears, bringing him out of his thoughts. Teruya blinks before focusing his gaze back on Yuki. How long had he zoned out? Hopefully not too long. That would only make things much more awkward between them. “Can we…investigate together?”

“Huh?” Teruya feels floored. And perhaps, a lot more anxious than he appeared to be. He points to himself. “Me? You, uh, want to investigate with me?”

“Yeah! If, uh, that’s okay with you.” Yuki said, giving him a smile. A smile that was stabbing needles into his heart, even as it swells with joy.

“Uh, sure! I don’t mind.” Teruya smiled back as it strains against his cheeks.

He minds. He minds a lot.

“Great. So…where do you want to go?” Yuki asked, adjusting his tie. Teruya pauses before scratching the back of his head.

“To be honest, I already had a…pretty decent investigation of the island with Mikado when we first woke up here. But I barely know anything about the Monocruise.” Teruya then shrugs. “Yoruko brought me outside while I was looking around my room. I didn’t pay much attention to it since I was pretty tired last night.”

“You must’ve spent a lot of energy looking after Mikado.” Yuki said before a smile grew on his face. “You’re really kind for doing that, Teruya.”

“O-Oh, um, thank you.” Teruya felt himself smile more genuinely, a little bashful at the praise. “Just…doing what I need to do.”

“Yeah…um…” Yuki then points to the doors. “Why don’t we make our way back to the Monocruise then? I’ll guide you around and then we can loop back to the entrance when we’re done.”

“Sounds good to me.” Teruya nods and the two of them leave the U-Mart without another word.

Yuki leads the way back to the Monocruise and the two of them are mostly silent as they walk. It was still a little awkward between the two of them, but once they were inside, they immediately focused on trying to investigate the Monocruise. In the hallways were a couple of grandfather clocks but none of them were working, the restrooms, bookshelves filled with books that Teruya didn’t have much interest in, and huge chandeliers that hung from the ceiling precariously. He can only hope that they don’t fall. But what did grab Teruya’s attention almost immediately was the large, double stone door that was to the right of the staircase. But when he tried to enter it, it was completely locked and Yuki explained that “Big Bro,” a.k.a. Shinji, had already tried to brute force it and it didn’t work. In the end, they decided to leave it be for now since there’s nothing they can do about it. At least, not without the risk of breaking one of the school rules.

On the first floor of the Monocruise, there was the infirmary that Teruya had already become familiar with due to taking care of Mikado in it for an entire day, but also a workout room with various equipment, including huge dumbbells, punching bags, and treadmills. There was also a ping-pong table to play, well, ping-pong, a cleaning supplies closet in case there was a spill, a large basket filled with sports balls for the basketball hoops hanging on the walls, and a nearby trash can. There was also a storage room that Teruya had to resist the urge to organize and memorize every bit of supplies and sundries left around inside, and simply said that they should leave this for another time since all of the miscellaneous stuff would take forever to sift through even with the both of them together. Yuki agreed and they left the storage room alone. The auditorium was a bit more of a sad excuse as there was a lot of space in it but nothing else aside from a clock that told the time, a piano sitting next to a desk for someone to speak from and chairs piled up on top of each other by the walls. They stopped by the dining hall to check if there was anything they could’ve missed, but it had mostly stayed the same since they were last there. The large table where they ate their meals together was still where it was left, with the chandelier hanging nearby, and shelves filled with various utensils and cups. Teruya had found some crow cards lying about in those shelves, but otherwise there was nothing useful to be gained by sticking around the dining hall. The kitchen was also attached to the dining hall, fully repaired after Mikado’s poor attempt at cooking nearly destroyed it in a fire. It looked like a fancy cooking station you’d find at a restaurant while still feeling like something you’d find in any other house in the real world. They left the kitchen untouched as well, as neither of them were hungry enough to make something for brunch.

The second floor hallway was pretty identical to the first floor in layout, minus the doorway to the left of the staircase. There were plenty of grandfather clocks and chandeliers, with doors leading to the game room, library, bathhouse, and laundry room. All of which he hadn’t checked out for himself yet.

But the one thing that caught both of their attention pretty quickly was a door almost hidden away in the corner. Unlike most doors, it was metallic with a keypad serving as it’s lock. And to top it off, there was a minigun attached in the corner and aiming directly at the door.

Out of everything they’ve seen so far, this is definitely the most suspicious thing yet.

And yet, neither Teruya or Yuki took a step closer to the door.

“…Do you want to check it?” Teruya asked, making these the first few words he had said in a while. Yuki’s jaw drops as he gapes at him.

“No way! What if I do something wrong and that minigun goes off??” Yuki points at said weapon. “I’ll be turned into Swiss cheese!” Teruya couldn’t help but snort and cringe at the same time.

“Y-Yeah…that wouldn’t be good at all.” Teruya agreed but he couldn’t take his eyes off of the door. Yuki sighs.

“We all tried to think of ways to enter the room, but…none of us has the guts to try the keypad. Not with that minigun silently threatening us with death.” Yuki shudders as he adjusts his tie. “It wouldn’t be a good idea anyways. We don’t have any hints on what the passcode could be, so the effort would just be useless.”

“I think that’s a wise decision. I don’t want you guys to get hurt when our chances are so low.” Still, that door is going to bother him for as long as he's aware that it's here. Teruya forces himself to turn away. "Let's just check out the rest of the floor."

"Ah, right." Yuki doesn't say anything else, leaving the both of them in awkward silence once more.

Teruya almost wanted to say something.

But his mind was blank, so he kept his mouth shut.

The library was, naturally, filled up with books, with the shelves lined up against the walls. The bathhouse has cabinets for changing, a cleaning supply closet, a clock, shower stalls, and, of course, a large hot tub to relax in. Now wasn't the time to take a bath, though, and they left without bringing up the idea of having a shared bath. You know, to deepen their bonds as friends.

He did find some money in the bathtub, though.

("...Who left their card here??")

("I don't know, but it's mine now!")

("You're…surprisingly greedy.")

("Hey, you can't live without money, you know!")

("...Unfortunately, you're right.")

The laundry room was probably the most normal room there was on the Monocruise, being of decent size with a few washing machines and dryers to accommodate everyone on the Monocruise. The game room, though, was everything a minor should steer clear from for their age: roulette tables that reminded Teruya of casinos, slot machines that pour out coins when you manage to line up three of the same images, and a shelf behind the counter that held plenty of alcohol of different types. Teruya can’t help but grimace at the amount of games that are just begging to give someone a gambling addiction.

“I can’t believe there’s a room like this here. Isn’t this supposed to be a school field trip for high schoolers?” Teruya questioned, absently running his hand along a nearby pool table. It was clearly of high quality and he had a feeling that Setsuka would love spending her time here if she hasn’t already.

“Honestly, I’d agree with you if this was a normal school trip.” Yuki said before a random note of a piano key being hit was heard. Teruya turns the corner to see his fellow student nearby the piano, testing it out if only to distract himself. He closes his eyes with a sigh. “But this is the School Trip of Mutual Killing. Nothing about this has been normal since we got here.” He then pauses before furrowing his brow. “Besides, Hope’s Peak Academy did invite the Ultimate Gambler before. Stuff like this on a Hope’s Peak school trip would probably be normal since they would want to see the Ultimate Gambler in action.”

“…That would actually make a lot more sense.” Teruya scratches his forehead. If Hope’s Peak Academy was more than willing to invite students that had more…questionable talents, then of course they’d have the resources to help support and nurture them as well. Hell, they had Yoruko, who was the Ultimate Hostess, and Syobai, the Ultimate Broker. While Yoruko’s talent is a lot more innocuous compared to the literal criminal, she was still breaking the law by lying about her age to work in an age-restricted job. And yet, they were still willing to take both of them. Albeit they had to blackmail Yoruko to agree to come. Syobai…he’s not certain about his reasons for why he chose to come, or if he was also blackmailed, but either way, he was here as well. “…Still, none of us are the Ultimate Gambler so I don’t know why we have this room.”

“Yeah, it kinda just…exists. It’s not as if we can’t have fun here and we don’t really have any money to make any bets anyway…unless you count the Crow Cards.” Yuki then pulls away from the piano, smiling as he points to a set of double doors. “But, hey. At least there’s a gift shop here.”

“Oh yeah! Monocrow mentioned the gift shop before.” Teruya said, lighting up at the mention. He raises his hands as his body automatically moves towards the door without another thought. “So it’s here? What’s in the shop?”

“Well…about anything you can find at a tourist shop, I think. With some…odd stuff mixed in.” Yuki said, scratching his cheek with his finger. Teruya pauses upon grabbing the handle, turning to direct his raised eyebrow at Yuki. The student simply shrugs as he smiles awkwardly. “I think you’ll understand once you see it.”

“Alright…” Despite acknowledging the strange comment, it didn’t stop the feeling of excitement rising in his gut. Teruya tugs on the handle and the door slides open, revealing what was inside.

And his heart nearly lept in joy.

Inside were rows and rows of shelves filled with all sorts of supplies of different varieties. Art supplies, notebooks, snacks…you name it, the gift shop probably has it. It was decently large for the amount of goods it had in store, and even had a register counter by the front to pay for the supplies, although no one was there to man it. Teruya almost wondered if someone had tried to shoplift from the gift shop but he quickly shoots that idea down in his head. With the existence of Crow Cards, Monocrow would clearly want that currency to be used throughout this school trip. And while there was no repercussions from taking anything from the U-Mart, it may be because the mart was on the island since it was founded and would have convenience goods that wouldn’t be out of place for its store. The gift shop, on the other hand, was a part of the Monocruise, and is under Monocrow’s jurisdiction. If Monocrow wants them to pay for the goods in the gift shop, he will make them even if he has to threaten them with punishment.

Not that Teruya found himself caring.

He was just…so excited and comforted at the sight of the shop.

He doesn’t know or understand why he’s reacting the way he is now. It was just a shop, after all. One that you can probably find anywhere in the world, as long as the concept of currency or even bartering existed. A place where you can find goods that range from daily necessities to snacks to entertainment to unnecessary knickknacks and decorations.

But, Teruya didn’t care.

It made him happy to be here. And for once, he allowed himself this moment to bask in it, regardless of the circumstances that surrounded him.

“Oh…Oh my god…!” The words slipped out of Teruya’s mouth without thinking about how he looked. He just runs over to the nearest aisle, unable to keep himself from bouncing off of his heels as he goes. The aisle seems to be where the toys are, and he grabbed a rainbow spring toy off the shelf to let it hang from his hand. Yuki, who seemed to have followed him inside, watches as the amnesiac played with the toy in his hand. “Yuki! Yuki, look at this! There’s so much to look at!”

“I-I can see that, Teruya.” Yuki laughs like he was unable to comprehend what he was seeing before him. “Geez, you look like a kid exploring a new place for the first time.”

“I mean, technically, it is a place I haven’t been to before.” Teruya tosses the spring toy back to its little basket. Not a single bit of his memories have come back to him yet, but that didn’t mean he was going to push away this sense of comfort. He walks over to Yuki and wraps an arm around him. Yuki blinks in surprise at the closeness and Teruya was too distracted by his own joy to take note of the uncomfortable tightness in his chest. He points as he speaks. “But there’s loads of stuff you can get here! There’s shampoo and conditioner in that aisle, snacks over there, some stationary supplies and…” He falters when his eyes land on something he feels like he shouldn’t be seeing so out in the open. “Is…Is that bondage gear?”

“Yeeep.” Yuki closes his eyes with a grimace. “Like I said before, there’s some odd stuff.”

“I, why is there bondage gear here!??” Teruya scrunched up his face, pulling Yuki closer to him. “We’re…We’re minors! And this is a school trip, I…What the hell??”

“Let’s, uh, just ignore it! We’re here to investigate, not, uh, get distracted by weird stuff.” Yuki suggests, taking his arm off of his shoulder. Teruya ignores the jab of disappointment upon the lack of contact but he gets over it pretty quickly.

“Right, right. Let’s just…avoid that aisle then and look around.” Teruya agrees, deciding that it was best to move on unless he wished to waste any more time. He heads to the back of the room and finds two other oddities in the shop. One was a vending machine that was half black and half white, like it was shaped in Monocrow’s image and he instantly didn’t like it. The other was the rows of arcade games that ranged from Pac-Man (shaped like, again, Monocrow) and a dancing game that wasn’t Dance Dance Revelution, but definitely similar where you have to time your steps to the beat of the song. He approached the games with curiosity, and Yuki almost instantly appeared by his side like he was also interested in the arcade. “Huh…Why do you think this is here? It’d fit more in the game room itself.”

Yuki opens his mouth to make a suggestion but—

“Allow me to answer that question.”

They couldn’t help it.

They screamed, jumping into each other’s arms as the person — no, that damn thing called Monocrow — suddenly pops out of nowhere in front of the arcade cabinets. The minute they realized who it was, their fear was immediately replaced with disdain.

“You — You son of a bitch!” Teruya snaps, nearly swatting Monocrow off of the cabinet. He squawks indignantly, flapping his wings as if to make himself bigger.

“Hey, hey! Violence against your teacher is against the school rules!” Monocrow says, reminding Teruya that he was on thinner ice than he liked. Yuki scowls at him with furrowed eyebrows.

“You’re not our teacher! You’re a part of the mastermind’s scheme!!” Yuki yells as he clenched his fists. Monocrow sighs, lowering his head.

“Both can be true, you know…” The crow then shakes his head. “But nevermind that. I will let go of your near violation since the hit didn’t land. But you best not risk that again, Mr. Otori.” Teruya grimaces but slowly nods his head. He shouldn’t put his life in danger for something as stupid as breaking a school rule. Especially one that can easily be avoided. “Anyways, you’re curious about these arcade machines, are you not?”

“I mean…yeah.” Teruya admits and slowly nods his head. Yuki lowers his hands but he was watching Monocrow warily. Teruya eyes the arcade cabinets. “Why are they in the shop instead of the game room?”

“Well, to put it simply, I thought having these games in here would be more convenient for you all.” Monocrow said, raising his head. Yuki frowns.

“Convenient?” Yuki adjusts his tie and Monocrow nods before rubbing his wing against his beak.

“Indeed. You see, not only did I hide Crow Cards all around the island and Monocruise, I’ve installed these games to reward you!” Monocrow spreads out his wings, almost as if he was proud of himself. Teruya didn’t understand what he meant by that until Yuki’s eyes go wide.

“Wait…Are you saying that these arcade machines can give us Crow Cards?” Yuki cranes his neck at the machines and Teruya does a double take. Arcade games that give out free money? Even with his amnesia, this feels like a first for him.

“Absolutely! I know not all of you are willing to go on a scavenger hunt for the Crow Cards I’ve hidden throughout the island, even though I encourage investigation…But I couldn’t just leave my students penniless! Consider this as an…alternative way to gain money. To an extent of course.” Monocrow nods his head at the cabinets. Teruya managed to catch his last words and frowns.

“‘To an extent?’ What do you mean by that?” Teruya raised an eyebrow at the bird. Monocrow simply huffs, turning his beak up at him. Which would’ve been funny with how small he is compared him, but the amnesiac only found it annoying.

“I mean that you all only have a limited amount of tries for the games. I can’t just let you get rich so easily by spending all of your hours playing games!” Monocrow flaps his wings at Teruya again. “Each student has about three tickets on their e-handbook+, and regardless of which games you play, the cabinets were made to keep track of the amount of tickets you have. In other words, you can’t spend three tickets on Crow-Man and then try to spend three more tickets on DanceRush Stardom.”

“Please tell me that’s not your version of PAC-Man.” Yuki asked, despite already knowing the answer just by looking at the arcade machine in question.

“Regardless, the tickets will be replenished by the end of the week, and you’ll only get enough Crow Cards according to your high score.” Monocrow said, completely ignoring Yuki’s words. The student narrows his eyes at the bird but sighs, completely giving up on the topic.

“So, basically…” Teruya frowns as he tries his best to understand Monocrow’s words. “If you get a good score, you’ll get plenty of cash. However, if you sucked at the game and get a bad score, you won’t get much and end up wasting your time.”

“Precisely!” Monocrow blushed (somehow), speaking almost cheerily at Teruya’s words. Teruya wasn’t sure if he should be proud of himself or disturbed that Monocrow was praising him at all. “So do choose your games wisely! There’s nothing wrong with having too much cash, after all.”

“I…see.” Teruya eyes the arcade cabinets before him. Now that Monocrow explained what their purpose was, it made more sense to have them inside the store than the game room. While the game room was literally one door away, having the one and only arcade games that give out money inside the store made sense if you want your customers to spend their money there. After all, you can’t forget to spend your money when you’re literally inside the store. And if you want a specific item but don’t have enough cash, you can just walk over to a game right then and there and play a round in the hopes of getting a decent score that would reward you. Teruya brings his gaze towards the black and white vending machine and points to it. He might as well gather as much information that he can squeeze out of Monocrow while he’s here. “What about that one?”

“Oh, that’s the Monocrow Machine I mentioned before.” Monocrow lowers his wings and turns towards the vending machine in question. “For five-hundred Crows, you can get any item from the gift shop for cheap, however, it is completely randomized and based on luck. So you’ll have to hope you’ll get what you wanted. But who knows? Maybe you’ll be lucky enough to get some special gifts.”

“Special gifts? What kind?” Yuki looks over the Monocrow Machine, more curious than anything else now.

“That, I will let you find out on your own.” Monocrow brushes his wing against his beak. “If that is all the questions you have, I shall be taking my leave.”

“…You wouldn’t give us a reason on why this killing game is happening anyway, would you?” Teruya muttered as his gut twists. Monocrow chuckles, only confirming his suspicions.

“Is despair simply not a good enough reason for you?” And before Teruya could tell him ‘no, it isn’t,’ Monocrow disappears behind one of the machines and is gone. He knew the moment he left his sight that there was no point in trying to chase down the stupid bird to grill him for answers. It would just be a waste of time anyways.

“Well…I think that’s all we can get from the gift shop, right, Yuki?” Teruya said, turning to his classmate. Just in time to see Yuki pull on the lever of the Monocrow Machine. He gapes. “Wha — Yuki!”

“Huh?” Yuki jumps at the sudden call of his name. He turns away from the machine with wide eyes. “What??”

“Why are you using the machine?? You don’t need to use it when you can just buy what you need here, right?” Teruya gestures to the shelves with all the goods that were in plain sight. Yuki winces but frowns.

“I mean, you’re right…but, if you can get anything from the machine for just five-hundred Crows, that’s actually really cheap and some of the stuff here can be really expensive.” Yuki said, scratching his cheek as if he was embarrassed. Teruya frowned before glancing at the nearest price tag, which just so happened to be for a Playrotation4 and…

Oh.

That’s actually pretty steep.

Even Teruya, who had been scavenging every nook and cranny to find Crow Cards, didn’t have enough Crows to buy it right off the shelf.

“…Okay, I can see your point — wait a minute!” Teruya whirls around when a realization hits him and he points at the game station. “Why would anyone spend money on a Playrotation4?? It’s not like we need something like this and we’re in the middle of a killing game! We shouldn’t get ourselves distracted by stuff like this.”

“A-And you’re right! It’s just…just…” Yuki hesitates, mumbling something under his breath. Teruya raises an eyebrow at him but remains patient as he tugs on his tie nervously. “Sorry…I just…I can't concentrate on the killing game all the time. When I do, I…I get really, really scared. And then I remember how Syobai nearly stabbed me, and start thinking that anyone might be willing to do that, and then it just…just spirals from there. You know?”

“Ah…” That…actually makes sense. It’d be natural to suspect that everyone was out to get each other. Especially since one person already tried to take a life, even without hearing all the rules. How can Yuki not be paranoid? Teruya feels himself soften up as he presses his hand against his chest. “I think I understand. It is a dangerous situation, and you could’ve gotten hurt.”

“Yeah…Which is why I’m glad you were there, Teruya.” Yuki smiles at him, almost stopping Teruya’s heart as it clenched tightly. “If you hadn’t intervened, I might not be standing here right now. Even if you could’ve gotten hurt in my place…”

“O-Oh, it’s…it’s no problem.” Teruya forced himself to smile. “I…I mean, anyone would do that if they weren’t frozen in shock. Hell, I bet Shinji would’ve done everything in his power to protect you if he wasn’t carrying Mikado at the time.”

“Haha, y-yeah, I bet he would.” Yuki chuckles as he closes his eyes, scratching his cheek. The Monocrow Machine goes off and something clatters into the drop-off box, but neither of them paid much attention to it right now. He sighs, the smile falling off of his face. “I’m…grateful that you did that for me. But I also wished you didn’t have to. You could’ve gotten hurt in my place.”

“Hey, don’t say that. You, You’re worth protecting.” Teruya ignored the way he stuttered on his last words. He means it, he really does.

So why was it so hard to say it out loud?

“Mmm…Still…I wish I can repay you back. You deserve something in return for protecting someone like me. And protecting Yoruko, too.” Yuki slumps over and Teruya can’t help but feel surprised at the sight. He didn’t think Yuki had such a low opinion of himself. Sure, he was an ordinary student that got into Hope’s Peak Academy through a lottery, but he had still made it, didn’t he? Teruya didn’t even know his own talent or his past thanks to his amnesia, and the few clues he had were small things that barely told a full story. He didn’t know himself, but at least Yuki knew who he was.

Right?

…He should try to cheer him up. Maybe…

“…Maybe you should take me out for lunch?” Teruya suggested before he could doubt himself again. Yuki lifts his head, opening his eyes wide with surprise. The amnesiac just gave him a shrug. “You won’t stop expressing your gratitude to me, even though I’ve already accepted it. Sooo, if you want to do something more, you can just take me to your favorite place to eat and we can call it even. Once we get out of here, of course.”

“Teruya…” Yuki said, almost like he was in awe. Teruya tried not to shift. It’s not like getting lunch with someone else was anything weird or noteworthy. It’s something people do all the time. Yuki then smiles. “Yeah, I can do that.”

“Huh? Really?” There it was again, that surprise. An emotion that only lasted for a moment, but it was there.

“Yeah. There’s actually a really good ramen shop near my house. I’ll take you there, alright?” Yuki said, almost like he was happy at the thought. Teruya…wasn’t sure how he felt about this. He thought for sure Yuki would have turned him down. But he returns the smile, feeling more genuine this time around.

“Then it’s a promise.” Teruya then gestures to the Monocrow Machine, trying to keep up this nonchalant air about him. There’s no need to make a big deal about it. “What did you get?”

“Oh…! Right, uh…” Yuki turns towards the machine, kneeling down to grab his item from the drop-box. The minute he pulled it out, Teruya felt his heart leap at the sight. It was a spray bottle, one with a black cover that made the rainbow stand out in contrast. Yuki furrows his brow. “Oh, it’s just a spray bottle…”

“It is, isn’t it??” Teruya couldn’t stop the excitement that leaked into his voice. Yuki gapes at him as he hovers right over his shoulder. “D-Do you mind if I see it? Just for a second! I’ll give it right back!”

“Uh, sure. Go nuts.” Yuki gives up the spray bottle pretty quickly, letting Teruya snatch it right out of his hand. He takes a moment to marvel at it, rubbing his thumb along the rainbow colors of the spray bottle. He then lifts it up, keeping the button angled away from him before pressing down on it.

A beautiful spray of rainbows comes out and Teruya grins from ear to ear.

“Good golly! This…This thang is the real deal! Look at this color here, Yuki! It’s so vibrant!” Teruya said, spraying the color out a few times to emphasize his point. Yuki laughs, albeit awkwardly and perhaps a little confused.

“Wow, uh…what’s with that sudden accent?” Yuki asked, and Teruya raised an eyebrow at him.

“What accent?” He said, completely missing the way his accent had changed in his excitement.

“…Nevermind. It’s not important.” Yuki is quick to drop the topic and Teruya wasn’t interested in pursuing it anyways. He looks down at the spray bottle in his hand, almost reluctant in giving it back even though it would be going against his word. The student stares at him before smiling. “You can keep it if you want?”

“Really?!” Teruya can feel his eyes shining as he raises his head. “Y-Ya sayin’ I can have it?! For free?!” And when Yuki nods his head, Teruya tosses his arms around his classmate before he could think better of it and starts jumping up and down. “Thanks, Yuki! You have no idea how happy I am about this!”

“I-I’m glad you’re happy, Teruya…” Yuki said, although his voice was a bit muffled due to having his face buried into Teruya’s chest. Before he can complain about it, though, the amnesiac lets him go and starts putting away his precious gift. The student sighs and straightens his posture. “I think that’s everything we can investigate from this place. Right?”

“Mmm…I think so?” Teruya looks back at the aisles, thinking over what he saw and had been told. “…Even with just a glimpse, I can tell that this spray bottle isn’t in stock.”

“Huh…Is that what Monocrow meant when he said you can get special gifts from the machine?” Yuki asked, curling his hand near his chin. Teruya frowned.

“That sounds like a gacha system.” Teruya said, before approaching the machine to test that theory out for himself. With just a quick examination of how it works, all Teruya had to do was swipe his handbook over the scanner to use the Crow Card function, and then pull the level. After some loud scattering sounds inside the machine, it rings as it drops its prize into the drop-off box. He kneels down and pulls out…another mineral water bottle. Which he can get anywhere else, even at the U-Mart. The disappointment was palpable. “It is a gacha system.”

“You sound so disappointed.” Yuki deadpans, which only prompts Teruya to tighten his fists.

“Of course I am! It’s a money sink that relies purely on luck for the one thing you desire. A system that practically encourages gambling in exchange for a single item you may not even get. And even if you don’t mind having the common items, you’ll run out of space eventually if you’re aiming for the ‘best’ prize. You’ll need some good goddamn luck to get what you want in your first few pulls, otherwise you’ll just be wasting money you could be spending on something else.” Teruya huffs as he crosses his arms over his chest. “I worry about the customers' wallet sometimes.”

“Wow, you’re…surprisingly passionate about this.” Yuki points out, surprised at his sudden rant.

“Of course I am. How can people spend money if they’re spending too much of it on this one thing that isn’t guaranteed to give them what they want. Not to mention the kind of repercussions a gambling addiction can have on someone’s life…” Teruya trails off.

Why…is he so passionate over something like this? It’s not as if it’s his business on how much money people spend on something they want, right? But…what if they need that money for something they need? Like, food, water, clothes…If they spend it all on a prize that may not have much use of, how can they support themselves?

…Teruya decided to simply chalk it up to human decency. No one in their right mind would want someone to end up with an addiction of any kind. 

“Well…whatever. Here, you can have this, Yuki.” Teruya said, raising the water bottle up to his classmate. Yuki blinks his eyes before his hand hovers over the drink.

“Are you sure? I think this is mineral water.”

“Yeah, I already got one back at the U-Mart.” There was no point in having two when he hadn't even opened the first one yet. That seemed to encourage Yuki to take the water bottle from him with a smile.

“Thanks, Teruya. I was feeling a little parched from all the talking.” Yuki immediately opens the bottle to take a sip from it. Teruya brings his attention back to the Monocrow Machine, frowns, before swiping his handbook over the scanner again. Yuki sputters on his drink. “Y-You’re using the Monocrow Machine again?”

“Yep.” Teruya pulls the lever down. “…You said you wanted the Playrotation4, right?”

“Uh, yeah, I do, but…you don't have to go out of your way to get one. Especially when you don’t like the Monocrow Machine. And like you said before, I don’t really need it…” Yuki tries to get him to back out of the idea but Teruya just smiles at him.

“Because you said that you can’t concentrate on the killing game twenty-four seven, right? When you do, you get scared and paranoid…That’s not good when we’re in a killing game.” Teruya kept his tone gentle and tried not to sound overbearing in the process. “If playing games helps distract you from your thoughts and keep you calm, I don’t see why you shouldn’t have it. Besides, I wanna get you something and I don’t have enough Crow Cards right now to buy it off the shelf.”

“But…” 

“No buts! I’m getting you that Playrotation4, I swear it.” Teruya wags his finger at Yuki and he starts to crack a smile again.

It was then that the Monocrow Machine started to act out.

It rings, signaling that the prize had fallen into the drop-box, but then it shakes and rattles violently. Teruya and Yuki both jumped at the sounds as it felt as though something was going to go wrong. But, nothing else happens and the Monocrow Machine goes silent again.

Teruya didn’t take another step forward. He only turned to Yuki with a paling face.

“…It didn’t break…right?” Teruya asked nervously. After all, it was against the rules to break school property, and that would include the Monocrow Machine, right?

“Uh…” Yuki looks around. Even when a minute passes, no one shows up and he shrugs. “I think you’re fine. Monocrow hasn’t popped out of nowhere yet, so…”

“I-In that case, I should grab my prize before anything else happens.” Teruya leans over and reaches into the drop-box. However, when he grabs a hold of its thin, seemingly rectangular frame, its side hit the opening of the drop-box and couldn’t be slid out. Teruya frowns, trying to pull it out again but even when he tries to tilt it at a different angle or wiggle it out, the results are the same. “Shit. I think it’s stuck. Hey, Yuki, can you keep the flap open for me?”

“Oh, uh, sure!” Yuki kneels down beside him and Teruya scoots over to give him a bit more space. After what felt like more than five minutes of wiggling, adjusting, and a little bit of cussing over the prize, they finally manage to slide it out of the opening.

And Teruya nearly drops it when he sees it.

It was a portrait of a young man, probably — no, definitely their age and staring straight at them in boredom. His hair was a mess and his tie was undone along with the collar of his button-up, but he knew this face.

He knew it was Yuki Maeda.

Yuki Maeda, who he should know.

Yuki Maeda, who was his classmate.

Yuki Maeda, who was his friend.

And Yuki Maeda was standing before him, bored as he felt himself sink to his knees. Hearing the words he was saying but struggling to comprehend it all.

To deny it all.

And yet, he kept talking.

He kept talking about a truth he was desperate to deny.

“—your money. So, your friends’ deaths? They’re all your fault.”

And Teruya Otori felt himself sink.

Teruya.

Teruya.

“Teruya!”

Teruya blinked.

He stares at Yuki, who has started to shake him by his shoulders.

“Teruya! Finally!” Yuki sighs, as if he was relieved. Why? “You looked so pale and stopped responding to me when I tried to talk to you. Are you okay?”

Okay? How was he okay?

“…It’s you.” The words slip from his mouth numbly. Yuki blinks at him and Teruya’s gaze slowly goes back to the portrait that laid between them. “That’s you in the portrait.”

“Ah, the portrait…” Yuki let’s go, finally. He stares down at the portrait and visibly shudders. “I mean, it’s really uncanny. I won’t deny that. But…”

He frowns.

And then looks Teruya straight in the eye.

“But that’s not me.”

….It’s not?

“Uh, yeah. It’s not.” Yuki said, almost pouting now. Teruya swallows as he realizes that he had said that out loud. “I’ve never had myself painted before, so it couldn’t be me. I mean, I’m pretty sure the guy is wearing my school’s uniform but…” His frown became deeper as Teruya kept staring at him. “Look, maybe it’d be easier for you to believe me if you compare me to the guy in the picture.”

“Uh…” Teruya tried to come up with something to say. To tell Yuki that no, that really is him in the portrait. That this repulsive person looked too much like him to deny it.

But, he couldn’t say it.

Not when his heart ached so much in a way he couldn’t describe.

And when Yuki carefully props the painting beside him so Teruya can better compare their looks, he slowly realizes that he was right.

The differences were subtle. Sure, when you ignore the bored expression and messy appearance, they still looked similar enough to be mistaken for each other. But when you actively compare them side by side, it'd be hard not to notice those subtle differences. The one in the painting had much tanner skin in comparison to Yuki’s obviously paler complexion, along with dark brown eyes and a rounder facial structure. The Yuki Maeda sitting before him has lighter brown eyes and a slightly sharper face. Even their ginger hair was different, as the man in the portrait had a darker shade that leaned more towards yellow while Yuki’s was brighter and more red. And to top it all off…

“...He’s missing your ahoge.” Teruya noticed out loud, almost dumbly. Yuki blinked, looked back at the portrait, and then started to pout again.

“That’s the most important thing you noticed?” Yuki said, clearly exasperated. The tone of voice actually got Teruya to chuckle, feeling the tension slowly seep out from his shoulders as he sagged. It was still there, but he started to feel…a bit more like himself. A bit more ingrained in reality now.

“Sorry, sorry. It was just the first words I thought to say.” Teruya felt himself smile a little bit as Yuki’s pout only got stronger.

“Seriously…? It’s not my fault that this is the only cowlick I can’t get rid of.” Yuki muttered, even though Teruya could still hear him. It was obvious that the ahoge is a bit of an insecurity with the way he kept brushing his hand over it the minute it was brought up.

“If it’s any consolation, I think it’s cool. It makes you stand out.” Teruya reaches over and flicks the ahoge with his finger. Yuki swats his hand away.

“Stop that! I sometimes spend an hour trying to get rid of it. Don’t you do the same??” Yuki points at the tall ahoge Teruya sported himself. Teruya felt a smile grow on his face, even though it was definitely an awkward one.

“...Actually, I have to use hair gel to get my hair like this.” He admits sheepishly. Yuki’s stare quickly becomes incredulous.

“...You do it on purpose?!” Yuki gaped at him with those wide eyes again, and Teruya finally laughed. The student huffs before pushing the portrait into his space. “W-Whatever, just take your prize already!”

“Alright, alright!” Teruya takes the portrait from Yuki, still chuckling over his classmate’s overreaction. Yuki rubs his cheeks as if to forcefully get rid of the smile that Teruya had caught a glimpse of before going back to a neutral expression. Teruya looks down at the portrait, his smile falling off of his face as the man stared back at him. “...He feels familiar.”

“Well, he does look like me. It’s really eerie.” Yuki mutters as he closes his eyes and a sweat drop forms on his cheek. Teruya frowns.

“No, I mean…” Teruya tightens his grip on the portrait. “I think I knew this guy.”

“...Oh!” Yuki opens his eyes in surprise. “Did you remember something?? What is it?”

“I…don’t know.” Teruya lays the portrait on his lap. He stares at his bored eyes and wishes he could wipe that damn look off of his face. “...I think I hate him.”

“...Oh.” Yuki deflates upon the realization that it wasn’t a happy memory. If Teruya could even call it a memory. It was more of a gut feeling than anything else. He sighs. “Well…Not everything in your life is gonna be sunshine and rainbows.”

“I guess…” Teruya hesitates, his eyes darting between the portrait and Yuki. He swallows and takes the plunge. “Yuki. Are you…sure we have never met before?”

Yuki was silent.

And for once, his eyes were really scrutinizing him. Like he was actually trying to figure out if he had seen him before or not.

But he slowly shakes his head.

“No. We’ve never met personally.” Yuki said, before looking down and curling his hand near his chin. “…Sorry.”

“Oh…” What else could he say to that? It’s not like he can just tell Yuki that he’s a liar. He’s not the one with amnesia. Teruya was. And he doesn’t have any evidence that would contradict this.

Aside from the very heavy feeling on his tongue every time he speaks his name.

But besides that, he can only take him at his word right now.

“…Okay. Sorry that I keep bothering you over this.” Teruya said, even though this probably isn’t something he had to apologize for. Yuki gives him a small smile.

“H-Hey, you don’t have to apologize over that. I wish I could do more for you but alas…” Yuki waves his hands placatingly as he trails off. He then drops them into his lap. “Anyway, should we keep investigating the Monocruise?”

“Hm…” Teruya thinks it over his head, wondering if he should keep investigating with Yuki. But then he takes his eyes off of him, sees it — or rather, her — and thinks better of it. “Actually, I think that’s all we can do on the Monocruise. We explored everything we could…at least, not without spending hours going through every nook and cranny in the storage room. And the next two floors are for the dormitories, so I’m sure everyone explored their rooms to the best of their ability.”

“That’s true…There’s nothing else up there other than the bathrooms.” Yuki said, scratching his finger at his cheek. He then stands up, sending Teruya a smile. “Then, I guess I’ll go investigate somewhere else.”

“Yeah, I think I’m gonna stay here for a couple more minutes. Maybe stop by the storage room later.” Teruya nods his head towards the exit of the store. “I’ll see you around, Yuki.”

“See ya, Teruya.” Yuki then turns to leave the store, sees her, and tries to ignore her as he leaves. Teruya watches him go until he disappears, and then brings his attention back to the portrait.

…He could throw it out.

No one would be able to stop him if it did.

And it was technically his, so he had the right to do whatever he wanted with the portrait.

But…it’d be a waste for him to do that.

He just spent five-hundred Crows for this prize. Even if he didn’t like it, he should at least find some sort of use for it. Or just give it away to someone that may like it. Maybe Iroha or Emma would take better care of it than him.

Even if his heart tugged in a way he had trouble explaining.

Teruya manages to put the portrait into his backpack, and clasp it back closed, hefting it back onto his shoulders with a grunt. His eyes rove over the items in the store, lingering on the pens and journals in the school supplies section. Something that he considers buying right this second. But eventually, he turns back to the Monocrow Machine and pays the necessary Crows again. He felt a bit of shame in playing into the gacha ploy. But even he couldn’t resist the idea of getting those rare items.

And Teruya did swear he’ll get Yuki that Playrotation4 somehow. He just has to be careful with how much he spends on the Monocrow Machine.

At least hanging out with Yuki wasn’t as bad as he thought it was going to be.

He just can’t shake off this uncomfortable deja vu he’d been feeling this whole time.

…Or the drone that has been watching his every move since his investigation of the U-Mart.

Your relationship rank with Yuki Maeda has risen from 0 to 1!

Yuki Maeda’s information has been recorded in the e-Handbook+’s profile page.

[michelemoutons]

happy birthday to Fabrizia Pons! (b. 26 June 1955)

Contested in Italian junior motocross while studying architecture, 1971-1975

Made World Rally Championship (WRC) debut at the Rallye Sanremo with co-driver Gabriella Zappia in an Alfasud, 1976

Scored first WRC points at Sanremo as a driver in 1978, making her one of two people to have earned points in the same event as both a driver and a co-driver (next points finish saw her co-driving for Michèle Mouton in 1981)

Winner of the Italian ladies’ rally championship as driver, 1976, ‘77, ‘78

Switched to co-driving, pairing with Lucky Battistolli from 1979-1980

Partnered Michèle Mouton in the Audi Quattro from 1981-1985

Winner of the Halda Trophy (highest honor for a co-driver), 1982

Four WRC wins with Michèle: Sanremo 1981, Portugal 1982, Acropolis 1982, Brazil 1982

Before sabbatical, contested and won the Lady Rally dei Castelli Malatestiani as a driver with co-driver M.G. Bianchi in an Audi Quattro, 1985

After a return to competition in 1994, co-drove for Piero Liatti with Subaru from 1996-1998, winning the Monte Carlo Rally in 1997

Co-drove for Jutta Kleinschmidt (and later Ari Vatanen) in the Volkswagen Race Touareg, contesting various cross-country rally events, including the Dakar Rally, 2002-2007

Reunited to co-drive for Michèle Mouton to contest the Dunlop Classic Otago Rally in a Ford Escort RS, 2008

Continues to co-drive to present day, particularly for Lucky Battistolli contesting the FIA European Sporting Historic Rally Championship (EHRC) in a Lancia Delta Integrale

With Lucky Battistolli, reigning co-driver champion of the EHRC

[miserablesme]

The Les Miserables Changelog Part 5: 1992 UK Tour

Hello, everyone! This is the latest edition in my attempt to chronicle all of the musical and lyrical changes which the show Les Miserables has undergone over the years. Much like the last part, this one focuses on changes made not to the official libretto, but to one particular production: namely, the 1992-1994 UK tour. However, in contrast to the last part, the vast majority of these changes at least made it elsewhere at some point. This will be a bit longer than Part 4, but still shorter than any of the first three parts. With all that cleared up, let us begin!

Like the West End production before it (more on that later), the UK tour swapped these lines from "At the End of the Day":

What is this fighting all about?

Will someone tear these two apart?

He thus instead sings:

Will someone tear these two apart?

What is this fighting all about?

The first noticeable difference original to this production occurs during "Lovely Ladies". Originally after Fantine's "Ten francs will save my poor Cosette", there was a rather complex section in which the sailors and prostitutes sung different lines simultaneously. It went as follows:

(SAILORS - simultaneously with prostitutes' lines)

Lovely lady, fastest on the street

Wasn't there three minutes

She was back up on her feet

Lovely lady, what you waiting for

Doesn't take a lot of savvy just to be a whore

Come on lady, what's a lady for?

(PROSTITUTES - simultaneously with sailors' lines)

Lovely ladies, lovely little girls

Lovely ladies, lovely little ladies

Lovely girlies, lovely little girls

We are lovely, lovely girls

Lovely ladies, what's a lady for?

The UK tour totally reimagines this scene as an exchange between a prostitute and a pimp:

(PROSTITUTE)

God I'm weary, sick enough to drop

Belly burns like fire

Will the bleeding never stop?

(PIMP)

Cheer up dearie, show a happy face

Plenty more like you, dear

If you can't keep up the pace

(PROSTITUTE)

Only joking, dearie knows her place

This is quite a massive departure from the original! I imagine it would be quite a bit easier to get right given that it involves only two actors, neither of whose dialog overlaps the other (in contrast to the original scene with an entire ensemble of actors with distinct but simultaneous lyrics and tunes). It's hard for me to decide what I prefer. Thematically, the revised version is better, given that it makes the negative and exploitative aspects of prostitution quite a bit clearer than the original. However, lyrically I prefer the original somewhat simply for the sake of consistency. The sick prostitute scene, as it's sometimes been called, is the only point in the entire song where that chorus is used without some variation of the words "lovely ladies". Feels a little out-of-place to me.

"Fantine's Arrest" also gets different lyrics - for a time, at least. I have two different audios from the UK tour, from April and December 1992 respectively. The December audio reverts to the original lyrics for Bamatabois (though not for Fantine). I wonder whether or not someone just forgot to tell the replacement Bamatabois about the lyrical edit, or if it was a conscious choice to revert the scene? I also wonder if the year-plus of the tour after that performance kept the original lyrics or put the new ones in again. Regardless, this is how the exchange between Fantine and Bamatabois originally went:

(BAMATABOIS)

Is this a trick? I won't pay more

(FANTINE)

No, not at all

(BAMATABOIS)

You've got some nerve, you little whore

You've got some gall!

It's the same with a tart as it is with a grocer

The customer sees what he gets in advance

It's not for the whore to say "yes sir" or "no sir"

It's not for the harlot to pick or to choose

Or to lead me a dance

The UK tour initially revised the sequence into the following:

(BAMATABOIS)

Is this a trick? I won't pay more

(FANTINE)

I won't have you

(BAMATABOIS)

You've got some sauce, you ugly slut

You've got some gall!

What's become of the world when a whore from the gutter

Can suddenly get such ideas in her head?

Your job is to lie on your back for your betters

This hideous harlot believes she can choose

Who she takes to her bed

I guess the revised lyrics feel a bit more threatening, as well as a little less contrived. (Who the hell has ever actually used the phrase "lead me a dance"?) Still, I prefer the original ones because the rhyme scheme feels a lot more natural.

More changes occur during "The Runaway Cart". The original (rather clunky) conversation among the townspeople was as follows (with each line separate due to being said by a different person than the previous one):

Look at that

Look at that

It's Monsieur Fauchelevent

Don't approach

Don't go near

At the risk of your life

He is caught by the wheel

Oh the pitiful man

Stay away

Turn away

There is nothing to do

There is nothing to do

The UK tour rewrites most of the scene into the following:

Look at that

Stay away

You'll be crushed by the cart

Don't approach

Don't go near

It'll fall on you too

Oh my god, who is that?

It's Monsieur Fauchelevent

He is caught by the wheel

Oh the pitiful man

There is nothing to do

A far more natural progression in my humble opinion, and less repetitive as well.

The later scene involving the townspeople doesn't actually include any lyrical changes. However, like the West End production before it (more on that later), it does take lines that were previously in the singular into ensemble lines. The sequence was generally being performed as follows:

(MALE TOWNSPERSON)

Don't go near him, Monsieur Mayor

The load is as heavy as hell

(FEMALE TOWNSPERSON)

The old man is a goner for sure

(MALE TOWNSPERSON)

It will kill you as well

The UK tour instead staged it as follows:

(MALE TOWNSPERSON)

Don't go near him, Monsieur Mayor

(ENSEMBLE)

The load is as heavy as hell

(FEMALE TOWNSPERSON)

The old man is a goner for sure

(ENSEMBLE)

It will kill you as well

This ensemble business, which was already being used in the West End at the time, is an interesting callback, perhaps, to the pre-Broadway libretto in which much of the segment was sung by the ensemble. Personally I consider this edit an improvement. It feels far more frantic when the entire crowd is involved in the scene.

Once Valjean actually saves Fauchelevent, his lines are originally as follows:

Monsieur Le Maire, I have no words

You come from God, you are a saint

The UK tour changes them into the following:

Monsieur Le Maire, I have no words

You saved my life, you come from God

I guess the rewrite makes the reason for Fauchelevent's gratitude clearer, though it was already perfectly clear to begin with. The edit certainly doesn't hurt anything though.

The preamble to "Master of the House" retains the original "Hell, what a wine" instead of the post-Broadway "God, what a wine" edit.

Similarly, the "Waltz of Treachery" number has Thenardier ask the original "Have we done for your child what is best?" instead of the post-Broadway "her child".

A slight variation can be heard after the “Waltz of Treachery”. Usually Little Cosette asks:

Will there be children

And castles to see?

However, in the UK tour she instead asks:

Will there be castles

And children to see?

This variation also occurs in some early post-Broadway West End performances, and in the Complete Symphonic Soundtrack. I’d be interested to know whether or not that soundtrack may have inspired the choice during the UK a tour.

Interestingly, “Look Down” reverts an exchange back from the 1987 libretto into the original pre-Broadway version. Perhaps drawing from the West End show which was still using the original variant of this particular moment, the sequence officially sung by the ensemble as follows as follows:

When’s it gonna end

When’re we gonna live

Something’s gotta happen now or

Something’s gotta give

Because, as it was originally written, sung by one person at a time:

When’s it gonna end

When’re we gonna live

Something’s gotta happen, dearie

Something’s gotta give

My thoughts on the two variants can be seen in Part 3 of this blog.

Like the Australian tour, the UK tour has Thenardier say "God rewards all the things that you do" during "The Robbery" instead of "the good that you do".

Also, for some reason Thenardier refers to "the brand across his chest" instead of "upon his chest" later in the number.

The UK tour borrows the revised lyrics to “Stars” from the Australian tour and the West End production. Instead of the original lyrics:

A fugitive running

Fallen from grace, fallen from grace

It used these ones:

A fugitive running

Fallen from God, fallen from grace

Instead of these lines:

He knows his way in the dark

But mine is the way of the Lord

And those who follow the path of the righteous shall have their reward

It uses the shortened variants:

He knows his way in the dark

Mine is the way of the Lord

Those who follow the path of the righteous shall have their reward

Finally, instead of these lines:

And so it has been

And so it is written

It used these ones:

And so it must be

And so it has written

You can read my thoughts on all those differences in Part 4 of this blog.

The next noticeable difference occurs at the beginning of “Red and Black”. Previously the song opened with the beginning chords. However, the UK tour added a short musical sting before these chords. If I’m not mistaken, this musical addition was placed in to account for a change in staging. Originally the number began with the barricade set sliding off-stage, revealing the ABC cafe set behind it. However, around the time of this tour the blocking was adjusted. Now, the turntable instead revolved at the beginning of this number, revealing the ABC cafe set on the other end of the turntable and allowing the barricade set to double as the walls of the cafe. I believe the opening sting was added to allow time for this slightly more elaborate staging.

Additionally, as was the case in the West End at the time, no one shouts Enjolras' name during the instrumentals to "Red and Black".

In “Red and Black”, Enjolras usually sings:

We need a sign

To rally the people, to call them to arms

To bring them in line

However, the UK tour replaces it with the following lines:

We need a sign

To rally the people, to fire their blood

And to bring them in line

I guess “fire their blood” has a certain idealistic flair that fits Enjolras’ character, but I still definitely prefer the usual lyric. It conveys the message a lot more directly.

After the number, this is Enjolras’ original remark regarding General Lamarque’s passing:

On his funeral day they will honor his name

It’s a rallying cry that will reach every ear

In the death of Lamarque we will kindle the flame

They will see that the day of salvation is near

The time is here…

The UK tour rewrites those lines into the following:

On his funeral day they will honor his name

With the light of rebellion ablaze in their eyes

From their candles of grief we will kindle our flame

On the tomb of Lamarque shall our barricades rise

The time is here…

Though there’s a bit less rhyming in the revision, it strikes me as somewhat nicer and less clunky-sounding. The sentences’ subjects no longer feel all over the place, and the phrasing is far more poetic.

As with “Look Down”, some lyrics to “The Attack on Rue Plumet” are reverted to their original form (which was also still used in the West End at the time). Thenardier’s official lyrics following Eponine’s scream were as follows:

You wait my girl, you’ll rue this night

I’ll make you scream, you’ll scream alright!

Leave her to me, don’t wait around

Make for the sewers, go underground

The UK tour brought them back to this form:

Make for the sewers, don’t wait around

Leave her to me, go underground

You wait my girl, you’ll rue this night

I’ll make you scream, you’ll scream alright!

You can read my thoughts on these variants in Part 3 of this blog.

As with the Australian tour, Philip Quast changes “we’ll be ready for these schoolboys” into “I will join these little schoolboys” in “One Day More”. Unlike the Australian tour, the UK tour would maintain this variant even after Philip left. You can read my thoughts on this variant in Part 4 of this blog.

That’s it for the first act! The first noticeable difference occurs right before “A Little Fall of Rain”. Instead of opening with the beginning music, the UK tour added a short musical interlude beforehand. In my opinion, this music sounds terrible and feels extremely out-of-place. I wonder whether or not there was some change in staging to account for these extra notes.

After Enjolras' "Night of Anguish", the instrumental music is edited. Originally the number was followed by the same tune which would later be heard in "Drink with Me". However, the UK tour replaced it with a reprise of the tune of "A Little Fall of Rain". This is one of my least favorite edits for the tour. The original music felt highly emotional, and, since it predicted a later number, it implies the sense that, despite Eponine's death, there is more to come and the revolution is far from over. I'd argue that simply reprising a song that just happened suggests a degree of closure that is not appropriate for its context.

Everything is as usual right up until the epilogue. As with the Australian tour, the UK tour uses the “I’ll lead you to salvation” line instead of “And lead me to salvation” for Fantine and Eponine. You can read my thoughts on that change in Part 4 of this blog.

That’s it for this part! If I missed anything feel free to let me know, as my goal is to create a changelog as thorough and complete as possible. I plan on making more parts in the near future covering all the changes that have been made in the show up until this day (discounting concerts). Any feedback and constructive criticism is very much appreciated. As a side note, both for this project and my own enjoyment, I want as complete a collection of Les Miserables audios as possible. I already have most of what’s commonly circulated, but if you have any audios or videos you know are rare, I’d love it if you DMed me! Until the turntable puts me at the forefront again, good-bye…

[the-insomniac-emporium]

thoughts on Bela///Donna?

What a lovely can of worms you've placed in my inbox, dear nonnie. I cannot wait to open it and lose followers (regardless of what I actually say).

Since this is, uh, a subject of some debate among RE8 fans, I will be inputting my thoughts on the idea of the ship (and the possible controversy), as opposed to doing HCs or something for it (which I recognize might be what you were asking for, despite the excessive /s).

This is all based on my playthroughs of the game, as well as what I've managed to double check on the fandom/wiki for it. I know that a lot of people who read fanfic for the game haven't actually played it, likely having been lured in by Tall Vampire Milf, and so I hope that some people will be open to a reminder of, like, canon vs fanon? I've mentioned in a previous post that there's a lot of details for RE8 that are not made clear, and I feel the need to reiterate that in this post. Capcom left a lot of stuff up to people's imaginations, or kind of just hinted at in game or in concept art.

But more importantly, regardless of what game we're talking about, regardless of the conclusion I come to (and the one you come to) at the end of this post, I want to say that I absolutely understand the need/desire to have your own perspective/take on the characters from the game, as well as their dynamics. If a ship makes you uncomfortable because you see the characters as being family members, it's totally okay. Block the ship tag, or filter it out when you look through fandom stuff, don't follow people who post for it, etc, etc.

If you think of characters as being family-family (like, not just "we got married and are now a family" but, like, "we're siblings/parent and child") and still ship them? uh. sorry, bruv, maybe think of hitting that unfollow button. No, seriously, hit that unfollow button. This blog is anti-incest, thank you very much.

The last thing I'll say before putting it under a read-more (for both length and major RE8 spoilers) is that I recognize that I might have missed something, either in game or developers talking about things on social media, and so if you read through this and go "god, J, you're such a dumbass for forgetting *critical piece of media*" or even just "okay but have you seen *small but meaningful piece of media*?" please. Just. Please. Tell me. Link me to that shit. I WANT to know if I'm wrong. I've literally avoided talking about this for as long as I could in order to TRY and make sure I have all the context I need.

With that said, let's examine what context we are given for Alcina Dimitrescu, Bela Dimitrescu, Donna Beneviento, and their relations to each other. I will be leaving my personal thoughts on Bela///Donna at the very end of this, as somewhat of a conclusion, somewhat of just a "hey, this is what you technically asked me about".

Firstly, let me begin by explaining what I consider to be the 3 tiers of "canon"

In-Game/Direct: The highest, truest tier, the definitive canon. This is everything that takes place in game, excluding certain hallucination scenes (ex: Mia was not really in House Beneviento, but we can infer some things from what Donna made Ethan hallucinate about). Things either happen, or are directly stated by characters. There's some wiggle room for dialogue, as characters can lie, but overall we, as the audience, assume we are being told the truth. At the very least, games usually eventually make it clear when a character has been dishonest. Examples of Direct Canon include the following: Ethan is infected with the mold, Lady Dimitrescu drinks blood, Heisenberg wears sunglasses, Mother Miranda can shapeshift.

Concept Art/Developer's Notes/Indirect: Mid-tier and debatable, the "we think, but we're not sure" of canon. Resident Evil: Village contains lots of concept art that the players can browse through, all of which include notes from the developers about the game, characters, environments, and story. Sometimes the notes make something "direct", but oftentimes they do not specify whether the listed idea is still canon or if it was removed during development. This tier also includes information that is implied/can be inferred from tier 1 information, but is not directly stated. Examples of Indirect Canon include the following: Donna's mother died by suicide, Moreau was going to have his lover fused to his back, Duke was originally a fifth lord, Heisenberg was going to have a twin. As you can see, not all of the concept art ideas made it into the final version of the game, so it can be hard when some information seems like it might still be true (such as the matter of Donna's parents).

Fanon/"False": Sometimes collective ideas in a fandom become so widespread that people start interpreting them as actual canon. Sometimes it gets hard to remember what's just obscure lore and what's fanon. When we get a piece of fiction as overall vague as a lot of Resident Evil: Village is, there's bound to be some confusion over time. That's one of the main reasons I waited to talk about Bela////Donna until after I had recently replayed relevant sections of the game, as I wanted to remind myself of what we're actually told. Examples of False Canon are difficult to pinpoint, but might include things like: Hufflepuffs are good at finding things? The Avengers got along for awhile and all had their own rooms in the tower? There's a number scale for the danger level of ghosts in Danny Phantom?

For this post, I will be limiting the majority of my notes to the first two levels of canon, and will do my best to mark them as such. Now... let us... begin.

Alcina Dimitrescu:

Born no later than 1914, Alcina Dimitrescu was 44 years old when she was granted the Cadou by Mother Miranda. (1st Tier: Canon. Source: A note in the castle basement from a servant is dated 1958, and mentions both Alcina and her children. Secondly, Miranda's experiment notes state that Alcina was the 181st subject, and was given the Cadou at age 44. By doing math, we can then determine the earliest Alcina could have been born.)

Alcina refers to the other Lords as her family once without any disdain (when Ethan first arrives at the castle and is caught, Alcina says "you've escaped my little brother"). In a private journal (located near where she threw the infamous vanity) she insults the other Lords, and expresses anger that she is "treated like a sister to them". She argues with Heisenberg without any hesitation, and seems honest in her hatred of him (per Maggie Robertson's wunderbar performance). (1st Tier/2nd Tier: Canon with a sprinkle of interpretation for the last line)

Alcina openly refers to Bela, Cassandra, and Daniela as her daughters, and wrote in her experiment journal that she felt instantly connected to them (as mother and daughters). (1st Tier: Canon).

Bela Dimitrescu:

Likely born in the 1930's or 1940's, in order to be an adult by 1958 (the first dated appearance of the Dimitrescu daughters). (2nd Tier: Based on inference)

Dialogue shows that all three of the daughters do love their mother, and reinforces the bond Alcina's journal mentions. (1st Tier: Canon)

We are not given any information about how Bela feels about the other Lords, or even what she knows about them. Once can assume that she shares the ideas of her mother, either because Alcina tells her things directly, or because Bela (who is eager to please her mother) picks up on them over time. (2nd Tier: Based on inference)

Donna Beneviento:

No idea when she was born. If you've read one of my recent posts, then you know that it's almost entirely a matter of 2nd and 3rd tier canon.

Of the four lords, Donna seems to have the most story within the 2nd tier, and has very, very little in the 1st tier. Duke says she's somewhat isolated, and that her "playmates" never leave the house. Miranda's notes state that Donna is mentally ill, and the gardener's diary states/implies (bit of both) that Donna has severe social anxiety. (1st/2nd Tier: Mostly canon)

Supposedly, her parents committed suicide while she was still a child. This is indicated in concept art/the attached developer's notes. However, the only part that's also directly stated in game is that her parents (specifically her father) died while she was young. (1st/2nd Tier: Mostly canon)

While Donna only has one voice line in the game (and it's sad), Angie talks a fair bit. Angie seems to disapprove of the other Lords, or at the very least enjoys mocking them, as well as enjoys watching them fight with each other. As Angie is connected to Donna, and Donna has some level of control over her, one can assume that the two have similar (if not the same) opinions. (1st/2nd Tier: Mostly Canon)

Donna was adopted by Mother Miranda as an adult. It's unclear exactly how old Donna was, or what exactly Miranda did as her "mother", just that Donna was excited about it. (1st Tier: Canon)

Other Relevant Information:

Heisenberg refers to the other Lords as his siblings a minimum of 1 time. Similarly to Alcina, however, he openly insults them and seems to hate them. He just, you know, hates Mother Miranda the most. (1st Tier: Canon)

Mother Miranda does not actually give a shit about the four Lords, intended for them to die before the ceremony, and has been manipulating them for her own gain this entire time. Her notes and dialogue make it clear that she only cares about getting Eva back. Somehow mother of the year and worst mother ever. At the same time. (1st/2nd Tier: Mostly Canon)

It's unclear who treats Alcina "like a sister" to the other Lords. Were there cut lines of dialogue that cemented the idea of them being a "family"? Did Miranda call them a "family" as part of pretending she cared about them? I've done my best to dig around, but there's very little in game that treats them as a family of any sort.

As each Lord ruled their own section of the region, they don't have any mentions of interacting with each other outside of meetings with Mother Miranda. None of the notes for any Lord (and their relevant experiments) mention what the others are doing. In game, their environments are very separate, very well divided, though this is likely as much for gameplay as it is for story.

Conclusion:

I do not not believe there is enough in game evidence to suggest that Alcina and Donna consider themselves to be siblings. There's the possibility for a large age gap, Alcina was a fair bit older than Donna when she met Miranda, Donna is a social recluse whose closest bonds were with dead blood relatives and dolls, Alcina openly dislikes (if not hates) the other Lords, they seemingly lived very separate and distanced lives, and Mother Miranda does not enforce the idea of "family". Furthermore, the sheer contrast between how Alcina interacts with/speaks of the other Lords compared to how she interacts with/speaks of her daughters says a lot about her feelings. Even if Heisenberg takes the brunt of her anger, Alcina never once says anything remotely positive about anyone other than Miranda and her daughters.

As Alcina/Bela and Donna are not blood-relatives, the definition of what would count as "incest" does vary depending on who you ask. Personally, I do count non-blood relations as potentially incestuous. For example: Alcina "dating" one of her daughters would be incest, regardless of the fact that she's a mutated human and her daughters are weird swarms of flies.

Now, I do understand how popular the idea of the four Lords being a real, chaotic but still close family is. And as I mentioned above, it's totally valid to not like the Bela///Donna ship, whether it's because you think they're family or some other reason. I don't personally see them that way, even in my definitely-not-canon stories.

Do I personally ship Bela///Donna? Nope. Have I liked art for the ship? Admittedly yes, even if I thought some of it was, like, maiden x Bela because Donna didn't have her veil and I'm a DUMBASS who doesn't always remember to read tags. Would I ever write for it? Yeah, probably, assuming I didn't miss anything in game/that I don't eventually change my mind.

[tintentrinkerin]

nothing on my tongue but hallelujah...

Rating: Explicit

Pairing:

Jared Padalecki/Jensen Ackles, Jared/various, Jared/Alex Calvert

Warnings: 

Gangbang, Barebacking, Jealousy, Top Jared Padalecki, Bottom Jensen Ackles, Religious Cults, Power Dynamics

Summary: Jared's Cult, the "Church of Grace" is a peaceful and harmonic little community in the South. Then young Jensen appears and rocks the Cult leader's world - moreoever, it rattles Alex awake, who's been sure to be his leader's most loved member.

Written upon request

Word Count: 9.9k

Read below the cut or on AO3

Kudos are love <3

The Divine Five Pillars of “Church of Grace”

Obedience

Purity

Community

Free Love

Kindness

The “Creed”

I believe in God, the Father and the Almighty,

who created the world, the people, the seas, the animals and the trees.

I believe in God’s son, who is his true Vicar on Earth

For he brings joy, love, community, kindness and hope. 

I reject the Devil and his kin. I turn my whole existence to 

the true Vicar of the Holy Father. 

I hereby swear to follow the five divine rules of the Church

and give myself into the hands of God’s most graceful creation.

May He and God’s Angels lead me into Paradise.

Amen.

2 Corinthians 11:13-15 

For such men are false apostles, deceitful workmen, disguising themselves as apostles of Christ. And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. So it is no surprise if his servants, also, disguise themselves as servants of righteousness. Their end will correspond to their deeds.

Siddharta Gautama

Through true honesty deeply believe that all sentient-beings are one.That all beings have the same true nature, wisdom, virtue.

If people knew how much effort it took to get an orgy going, they probably wouldn’t even bother and settle for porn instead. 

Jared and Alex had to plan every monthly “gathering” very thoroughly, especially, when new recruits and adepts arrived. The new boys and girls would maybe chicken out at first, but that wouldn’t be punished. Later, yes. At their first time? No. Jared was very kind to those he found. In other communities they’d be punished right on spot. But Jared, no no, he wasn’t that barbaric. He wanted everyone to feel happy and included. Everyone had to use the headquarter’s communal showers or baths after they had an extensive cleansing plan, to purify their body and also a very intense work out session. All for purity’s sake. Jared loves purity. 

The garden behind the Church of Grace’s headquarters was around 400 acres, enough space to celebrate free love, the holy spirit within all of us, and most importantly, worship the true Vicar of God on Earth. Forget Jesus. 

Jared was pleased when he saw his usual very busy adepts who were about to be initiated in the second step of Priesthood. They were so eager and they had a fantastic taste in decorating. There will be a bonfire, it’s May 1st after all, one of Jared’s favorite dates for a gathering. Pagans used to celebrate Beltane, well, they still do. In tiny groups, the Wiccans and the Druids. He has no affiliations with them, but as a shepherd of his sheep he needs to be informed. Wise. He wants to be the one who can answer all their questions, give interpretations. His interpretations. His view of the world. And in his world, only his Church will bring them peace and harmony and closer to God’s grace and mercy. 

The bonfire wood is piled right in the center of the garden, the part of the garden that members are allowed to see and walk on. Around the bonfire a lot of big wooden logs are placed for the followers of Jared to sit on. As soon as the fire burnt down a little bit and some chalices of holy wine were emptied and some delicious weed was consumed, the orgy might start. Jared will let the believers start first. There’s always a couple or a single horny person that will start wooing a person of their interest. Jared will join later, when the ecstasy is palpable and the adepts play the drums, letting the mass of naked bodies find their rhythm. Behind the huge pile for the bonfire, there’s Jared’s seat. A massive chair made of dark wood, polished, carvings all over. Still a thing someone could find a little too pagan, but Jared doesn’t care. The truth is what he speaks, not the others. And the truth is, that people still are just the same as in the early Middle Ages. The same things struck them with awe, and it’s not churches in white marble and Jesus hanging from crosses. Nature and it’s forces, the hidden desires. Intimate, primal and authentic. That’s his motto. No nude angel chiseled out of porcelain will make people feel this kind of raw euphoria and devotion as a bonfire and some drums do. Let the drums shake their cores and make their blood rage. This is how you make people feel their primal truth, and then, they’ll realize why doing this once a month is so freeing. They will get back to work, back to Jared’s mass, satisfied and their needs soothed. Then they will happily obey, stay pure, pray and make the community itself a functional unit of people with the same values.

And their money. It’s always gonna end up in such a community running itself, on donations, the members’ money and other things. 

When the sun sets, the members of the community sit down on the wooden banks or logs, or they bring a white towel to sit on. Jared counts the members and everyone is there. Alex sits beside Jared’s chair, obeissant. 

The white flowy cult dresses start billowing in the wind. Jared sits down on his chair, with a graceful flowing movement. He’s dressed in white too, linen, see through even when dry. When he sits all the heads turn to him. In the twilight of the remaining sunbeam, you could think, Jared just descended from heaven. He likes that idea. He raises his arms and in his strong, rough voice he proclaims “Brothers, sisters, it’s time for our monthly celebration. You cleansed your bodies, you prayed and did good service to the community. Now is the time to reward you, my brothers and sisters. Let’s have the holy communion, break bread and offer it to your neighbours, offer wine to your friends. Connect.” There’s faint applause and Jared puts his hand down. “No need to applaud, my dear sister, tonight, we celebrate you and your devotion and purity!”

He turns to Alex, dressed in white linen trousers. “Brother Alex will light  the fire and then, brothers and sisters, enjoy the bread and wine, let your spirits flow and find your matches for tonight!”

The crowd cheers and they end the chorus with a loud and enthusiastic “Amen!”

“Amen!”Jared echoes and his voice layers upon everything else.

When he sits down and Alex lights up the fire he watches all these people, the four new recruits. A young cute redhead girl, she looks like condensed sunshine - a young boy, looks like he’s here because the redhead is here (he’d be weeded out tonight) - another redhead, looking fierce. A snake. He might take a closer look at her - and then, there is Green Eyes. The boy that Jared picked himself. Usually one of his lower assistants would pick them but this time, Jared had to intervene. He needed these assistants to weed out the no go’s just before Jared could even see them. He couldn’t check on every person willing to join, they needed to make a first sighting and then the few ones who might be of Jared’s interest, would be invited to meet the True Vicar himself. Usually, that was 10 out of 200 or even less. And Jared was just as rigorous with ditching the foul seeds. But Green Eyes was his favorite all along. Those eyes… 

Alex breaks the loaf of bread and offers it to Jared. Of course, he’s on his knees and only looks up when Jared takes the half of the loaf and gives him his blessing.

“May you be blessed by our Lord and his Angels,” Jared says very formally. Alex looks up, his face has tiny sprinkles of ash on them already and his robe turned transparent from the sweat. He’s decent. Will he try as the first one today? Like always? 

“May you be blessed by your Father, Our Lord and his Angels,” Alex replies until Jared gestures to him to stay up. 

“Amen.” 

“Amen.”

Jared eats and then receives the wine from Alex too. That’s a golden rule. As his personal assistant, Alex receives the blessings from Jared. Just after him, anyone is able to be blessed by their Master. They share half of the bread, they will need the rest later. In this community it is not necessary to receive Jared’s blessing to consume the holy communion as his liberal practice says that any true believer in their community, on one of the 12 holy days of their community “gathering”, can offer and receive blessings from a brother or a sister. Jared’s happy about that, because blessing 120 people would make him pass out drunk and he can’t have that. He is in control. And he needs to stay in control, too. 

Around him, the wine, the food are eaten and some herbal cigarettes are lit, the thick smell of weed is everywhere. Four cult members responsible for music start playing the drums and flutes now. Quietly still, just a hint that soon, the gathering will start with their original purpose. The physical and mental connection of the members with each other. Jared can already see people who are done eating, wine tipsy and a little herbally relaxed. Hands wander under togas and robes, simple shirts and wide hippie trousers. Alex stays with Jared, looking down on the obedient sheep doing what they’re supposed to do. The fabric in his crotch is tenting. One look in Alex’ face tells Jared everything.

“You won’t give up, huh?”

Alex shakes his head. “No. I will never give up.”

Jared now stands up and stretches like a cat that has just awoken and now is on their way to do some mischief. “Boy, all of you try so hard, but none of you can take it.”

“It’s about receiving your mercy,” Alex says, now sounding a little sulky. 

Jared heads towards the bonfire where some couples (or more) are intertwined with each other, laying on the bare grass, sitting on logs or they found a nice spot on the white towels everyone brought. Right in the center, around the fireplace, it is too hot to sit there. Jared makes his rounds, ruffles some hair here, kisses a girl there, even helps a young girl settle on her lover’s cock.

“There you go, sweetheart,” he coos, “that’s how you show your love and devotion.”

She would be too tight and small for him though. All the women here would surely love to try again and again, but none of them would be prepared for his cock. 

When he is done doing rounds around the bonfire he sits down on an empty white blanket and just like it’s natural, the free members gather around him. The drums start playing a hard and catchy rhythm. 

The psychology behind music and rhythm. His members really know how to play a mass of people and put their bodies in the right directions. Alex joins and everyone respects Jared’s assistant too much to try and get Jared before him. In absolute devotion, Alex pulls Jared’s white linen pants down to his naked ankles, then off his naked feet. The participants murmur and gasp, such a delight every time. Jared didn’t wear boxer briefs or anything else underneath and so, everyone can admire his massive cock. It’s big, the erection growing strong and hard and the tip bounces against Jared’s toned six pack, above his belly button. Even Alex with his long filigrane and very skilled fingers can’t wrap around the shaft fully. 

They all watch, not even Alex dares to touch him yet. 

“You. Alex. Claire. You were such a good team last time. Would you show me how perfectly you harmonize?”

The blonde girl blushes deep red and Alex first raises an eyebrow. It’s clear who he wants, but he would never deny one of Jared’s commands. And that’s what it is. A command. 

Alex pushes Claire on all fours, one strong hand in her hair and presses her down while he sucks on two of his fingers and then penetrates her with them. She squeals and giggles, but before Alex fucks her he knows he has to give his true interest a show, and he will. While fingering her he presses his face between her buttcheeks and starts sucking. The scene gets very loud with pleasure noises very soon and another guy asks to accompany them. 

Jared supports himself with one arm and the other he uses to stroke his cock, throbbing and hot, he loves it when his followers put on such a show. He’s leaking some precum already and a boy next to him looks at it. Greedy and inexperienced. Jared doesn’t let him taste yet, and instead the nameless boy bends down to kiss Jared’s very muscular thighs. Another follower starts doing the same on the other side, everything with Jared stroking himself slowly. He wants to enjoy every minute of it. His toes are sucked on, submissive followers suck them like it’s his massive member. The first brave adepts gather around them too and Jared can’t help but smile. People stroke his hair, kiss his neck and leave their marks, but what Jared really needs is someone taking his cock like a champion. He knows he’s intimidating. Thick and lock, and even grows bigger when hard. The first adept who is bold enough to come forward is very much welcome. He has himself oiled pretty well, he smells flowery and when he sinks on Jared’s cock (just the tip!), he freezes. 

“Oh… God”, he hisses, “oh my f… so big…” Jared smirks, his hands on the twink boys hips. Such a beautiful boy, Jared would love to fuck him and fill him up, but it looks like he is already failing at the tip. 

“Go slow, my dear,” Jared says nonetheless. A guru can hope. 

Two hands on his shoulders push the boy farther down and he cries out, half in pleasure, but also in pain. The hands disappear and the young man on Jared’s cock looks like he’s about to cry. 

“It’s too much for you, hm?”

The boy nods and gets up, legs shaking. You can tell he never had a guy fuck his ass before, bonus points for using oil as lube. He might try again after he gets used to it with another cult member. He stammers an apology. Jared pulls him down for a second and presses his thumb on the boy’s forehead. 

“I bless you, brother.”

It’s a ritual, it’s a necessity, or the boy will maybe consider leaving. But most of the boys, like Alex, stay close to Jared and try it again and again and again. Some people are overachievers, maybe one day it will be successful. 

The boy mumbles an Amen and then strolls away, looking for another group he can find a place in. Jared still feels the tight ass of this boy and, damn, how much he loves it when they’re tight, maybe an anal virgin even, and he’s the first to fuck them. Another brother sucks him off, but  he also has trouble swallowing more of Jared’s wand than just the tip. His sucking is superb, ambitious even. Drool runs down his throbbing cock, damn, he even makes delicious sounds! Jared’s head falls back and he wishes he could blow his first load, but all these attempts of his followers just leave him just ‘almost coming. The man takes him deeper now but is interrupted by heavy gagging and he has to give up. Now it’s Alex who claims to be next. Alex is the kind of guy who acts like a passionate lover with anyone, even though he only craves  Jared’s attention. He’s open and gaping already, must've gotten into a very nice threeway with Kathryn and the other member. Alex sinks on Jared’s cock, his back pressed against Jared’s sweaty chest. Alex is able to take more than just Jared’s tip after extensive dilating practice or when he’s been fucked already by two or more of his brothers of the Church, but that leaves Jared only semi turned on, too. He feels loose, not as tight as when he tried it the first time and cried for several minutes because Jared’s dick almost tore him apart. It’s enough to make Jared cum and bless Alex with an intense prostate orgasm, but still Jared is not satisfied. When Alex leaves and some others follow him to the pool, he sits down again, crotch still throbbing, his need still not satisfied. Around him the orgy is at its peak, no one is alone by now, everyone is sharing their love and energies. Jared is gifted, his cock is ready again five minutes later and he mounts that ginger woman, the adept. But she winces when he’s halfway in and Jared has to pull out. She’s biter and a scratcher, her thick accent is sexy and he makes her cum multiple times with his tongue and fingers, but he holds back now, he waits for the perfect one. Someone to form a union with. A tight one, but skilled and resilient. A man that can take his cock and even if it hurts a little, push through. 

Jared sinks down on one of the blankets, lies down and stares in the clear starry night, a follower brings him a pillow and others massage his thighs and arms, his feet. God, yes, his feet are so sensitive. Another guy shyly asks if he may be of service and when Jared opens his eyes and looks up it’s Green Eyes. He hasn’t seen the boy since the beginning of the orgy. Jared immediately hikes up and shoos his other followers away. 

“Sure, sit with me.”

The boy with the forbidden pretty pouty lips, the rough voice and piercing green eyes sits down, facing the self proclaimed Vicar of God.

“You want to be of service, what was your name again? I’m sorry that I have to ask, I am terrible with names – most people change theirs after initiation anyway and that’s what stays in my memory.”

Green Eyes looks at him. “I’m Jensen.”

“Hello Jensen. I’m glad you came to our monthly free love gathering. Is that the kind of religious practice you seek?” 

A girl offers them some bread and a chalice of wine, plus some mushrooms on the side.

“It would be an honor, Jensen, to break the bread and drink the wine with you. Mushrooms are not mandatory if you’re allergic to that kind.”

Jensen grins and echoes the girl’s “amen” and gives her a smile. It’s gotten a bit quiet around them, some followers watch Jared and his new recruit very, very closely. 

“I don’t want to break the protocol, who is supposed to break the bread and offer it?” Jensen asks with a shy grin. Jared chuckles.

“We do not have a strict protocol, not on these special nights when we celebrate freedom and harmony. And free love. When we surrender to our primal instinct, you understand?”

Jensen nods seriously. “Yes, I get that.”

He rips off a piece of loaf then a second and offers one to Jared without the ceremonial motto. Jared ignores that (at least today) and receives the bread. “May you be blessed by our Lord and his Angels,” he says, presses his thumb on Jensen’s forehead and mumbles an “Amen”. Jensen echoes again, then takes a bite. When he’s done Jared offers him the wine with the same motto, and this time Jensen copies it, even though the Vicar is addressed during that sentence with “May you be blessed by your Father, our Lord and his Angels”. He will learn that, Jared will make sure of it. 

No one dares to come any closer after they’ve been offered shrooms, bread and wine. Some couples, or whole piles of copulating people don’t care what’s around them but some very devoted followers of Jared’s doctrine watch their Messiah and the new man very closely. Some are envious. Some are in awe of these two beautiful men sharing the body of Jesus Christ (strictly speaking Jared’s ‘brother’, just a few thousand years earlier) in such a manner. Jared’s tanned body glistens in the light and sparks of the bonfire and his hair started curling a little lately. Several people’s eyes turn wet. Given the beauty of their leader. Or given the fact there’s a new boy in town. And this boy is too pretty for his own good.

II

The wine is dry and aromatic, nothing you would just chug down and Jensen and Jared empty four chalices which are refilled by a maid that was brave enough to disturb her leader and the new recruit. It’s gotten chill and the bonfire shrinks and shrinks, some members of the Church try to revive it for a little longer and throw thick and heavy branches on it, along with brushwood that would burn easily and then transfer the fire over to the branches.

Just like in the 16th up to the 18th century – this is how you build a pyre to burn witches.

Jensen carefully, even a little shy now, lays a hand on Jared’s leg. The leader is surprised, given his attitude and behaviour he didn’t count on Jensen to take part in the orgy, he seemed more the watching type. The bonfire reflects in his intense green eyes and Jared feels an aching towards his new recruit. 

Now he realizes that Jensen’s white shorts are tenting. The way he looks up at Jared, through his thick blonde eyelashes it’s absolutely acting. Jensen is not that shy. Maybe a little. 

“The others told me…” Jensen started, “that I should under no circumstances give in to your… advances. You would, how did they say… tear me apart…? I wonder why…”

Jared snorts as an answer. Amused. His followers keep saying this to either see if someone’s brave enough to come forward right in their first few months here or if they’ll chicken out. 

“Well!” He has to laugh again. “Look, I think you’ve… you’ve watched a little without participating in this celebration, right? You’re still dressed, to my dismay!”

Jensen blushes, one hand on his crotch. Now, this reaction is a little more honest. 

“I can, I mean…”

Jared laughs louder now and then lays his hand on Jensen’s, that is covering his erect penis.

“Don’t make it awkward, Jensen, it’s fine. Not many participate in their first orgy and you are not obliged to, either. This is about free love. Father gave us free will for a reason. Because without free will, there is no love on this Earth.” 

There’s one streak of Jensen’s chin long hair, it’s styled but now the hairspray or the gel isn’t working it’s magic anymore. Jared brushes the strand behind Jensen’s ear. He’s closer to the recruit now and Jensen’s hand under his pulls away for the messiah to feel what’s underneath. 

“Regarding your concern about ripping you apart… I would never. But as you can see…”

Jensen’s eyes fixate on Jared’s growing cock and he gulps visibly.

“Yes, I…”, he looks up again, doe eyed and his mouth slightly opened, his pink silky tongue wets his lips. 

“You have the face of an angel, do you know that? I wonder what hides behind that…”

Jared’s voice is low and rough now, he groans when under his fingers Jensen’s cock jumps. 

“Jared, but… what if I can’t--”

“Shush, I’ll prepare you for it. And we have masses of oils. We’ll go slow. Very slow.”

A whisper erupts amongst the witnesses, their leader and idol! – wooing Jensen. A newbie. Some figures in the dark hurry for more oil, whole cans of it, juices, towels and fresh clothes. This is a choreography of duty to care for Jared. Everyone knows this is an occasion they won’t be able to witness that often. So far only one person could take Jared’s cock and fulfill his most aching wish. 

It’s Alex’s now hated duty to bring it all over to the blanket where Jensen climbs in Jared’s lap, panting faintly between two very passionate kisses. There’s fresh bread, more wine, water from the Church’s own well, fresh clothes for both and a big bottle of lube, oil based. It will stain every inch of fabric it’ll meet. Jared doesn’t even look up at him when he retreats, but he throws a ‘thank you’ in his direction. As soon as Alex is out of reach he is forgotten. 

Jared takes his time with this one. His commune members are in such harmony with each other already that prolonged foreplay isn’t necessary, but of course encouraged. Jensen is vocal, moans in their kisses and Jared loves the effort and the devotion he shows already. Jared pulls Jensen’s clothes off and bathes in the glow of this beautiful sight. Jensen’s skin is flawless, soft. It’s a joy touching him. Jensen pulls him in another kiss and arches in the leader’s strong arms - so responsive, in every way! 

“I want to try it,” Jensen then whispers, shakily.

“What exactly?”

“Take you. Suck you.”

Jared chuckles and gets up, pulls Jensen along on his lap. Jensen’s hand is big, he has deliciously thick fingers and Alex would appreciate some good fingering from him. He should introduce these two a little later

Jensen slides between Jared’s legs, who’s supporting himself with his arms to be able to watch Jensen try and gag on his cock. Jared senses some of his sisters and brothers coming closer, silently, to not interrupt them in their exploration ritual. He can’t blame them for being curious, and this is the exact purpose of their monthly gathering. Enjoy each other freely. 

Jensen’s mouth waters and when he opens his lips, a thick streak of drool runs down his face and chin. He doesn’t hesitate to bend down and wrap his lips around Jared’s tip.

A moment of breathless silence from everywhere. 

Jensen. slides. deeper. 

Jared moans and his head falls between his shoulder blades, so that he can see the clear starry night sky.

He will stop now, it’s too much. Oh God it’s too much, he can’t do it, Jared thinks, and then he starts praying Please let him go deeper. 

Jensen’s mouth feels tight, soft, and hot and he produces so much drool, it makes it messy. Perfectly messy. Jared’s head falls foward again and he watches Jensen taking him inch by fucking inch. Jared’s cock disappears in Jensen’s tight throat to the root. Jared stays perfectly still and tries to not even move a hair’s breadth. Jensen’s hand slightly presses on Jared’s stomach and then pulls away slowly. Painfully slowly, while working Jared’s incredibly thick shaft with his tongue. As soon as he’s able to look up to Jared everyone can see streaks of tears in his angelic face and his flushed cheeks. He keeps on working Jared’s tip, circling the bundle of nerves under the tip and then, with a high pitched gasp, pulls away completely.

He looks over to Jared and smiles. “Did I do good?”

Jared nods. It’s been ages since someone took him completely. It takes all of his willpower to not grab in Jensen’s hair and force his mouth down again to suck him off.. and then fuck his recruit’s face. He would gag and whine so pretty…. Jared needs a moment to breathe in and out very deeply, call himself to reason. 

“You are perfect,” he says, his voice shaky. “By the Angels, you are the best.”

Jensen blushes even deeper and looks away. He notices the other believers have gathered around them. Jared combs through his hair. He feels that Jensen now really is shy.. that’s not a show.

“Don’t bother, my dear. They won’t touch you if you don’t want to. I’m here for you and only you. Okay?”

Jensen nods. “So I really did good? Did no one before me take you that deep? I mean it’s a bit tricky but -”

Some of the watchers moan. 

“Did I say something wrong?”

“They all tried, dear. And failed. I guess you just earned yourself a title.”

Some of the watchers lurk in the dark, some are illuminated by the fainting bonfire. The sound of drums is gone. Jared watches Jensen look around and get used to it, after all. Then he turns to Jared and grins.

“I will work to keep the title then…,”

Jared pushes his delicious mouth on his cock again, and yes, fuck, holy fuck YES, Jensen can take him. He takes him so deep that Jared can feel his throat tighten and contract, but he’s not gagging in the bad way. Tears fall and drool runs down his reasonably thick shaft. Jared’s hand grips in Jensen’s hair and pulls. Jensen utters a surprised but pleased moan and keeps going faster and faster. One hand sneaks around Jared’s balls and massages them. Jared’s hips buck up and Jensen needs a break for a second, deep, hectic breathing, his teary eyes, the rest of the bonfire glistens in his eyes. Jared has a hard time holding back his possessive nature when Jensen just worships him like that. Faint and aroused moans around them show Jared that the others enjoy Jensen’s show as well. Some couples even have started fucking. Girls stand close by, rubbing their swollen and wet parts. 

“Look around,” he orders Jensen, “look around, how much love you spark.”

“Your voice… so deep… so much deeper,” Jensen is still fighting for breath. It makes Jared only crazier. 

“That’s you, you do that to me.” 

Jensen’s hand is still stroking him. Jared would be ready to come just now, preferably he’d shoot his massive load right in his throat, but what he wants even more, what’s the source of the deepest aching is the longing to finally be inside someone fully. He wants to ram his cock in Jensen up to the root and make him come first, then Jared could let go. 

“You’re close,” Jensen whispers and presses a kiss on Jared’s lips. “I swallow if you’re into that…”

Jared’s answer is a low and growl. “What I really want…”

“Let me guess… you want to fuck me? Here in front of all these people?”Jensen sounds out of breath, thrilled, over excited. His hands are shaking when he pulls himself on Jared’s lap.

Jared holds him close, his raging, painfully hard cock pressing on Jensen’s asshole. It’s slick from all this spit, but he wouldn’t dare to just enter him now, without warning. Without giving him something to chew on while Jared has to push his way in. 

“Free love. My pleasure is their pleasure,” Jared manages to say. He’s very proud to have that uttered in a manner that makes him seem still in control of himself. 

Jensen laughs quietly and then climbs down Jared’s lap. He stands up. And everyone can take a look at this beautiful body, shaped by God to strike people in awe. His own cock is thick and looks just delicious, Jared might want to get a taste one day, too. Then Jensen turns around and lowers on all fours, his perfectly shaped ass in Jared’s direction, head down, almost submissive. 

“Make your pleasure my pleasure,” he whispers, only Jared seems to hear it. 

Men and women formed a crescent around them now, the opening pointing to the dying fire. Jared licks his lips while he squeezes a very lavish amount of oil in his hand. He doesn’t cover his cock yet, he will help Jensen first. He enters him with one finger and Jensen bucks away first, in surprise but then lowers himself on the finger, starts fucking himself with it. His broken and sweet moans make Jared’s blood boil and also the participants around them start jerking harder. One hand gesture from Jared, and his followers stop. They shouldn’t finish before Jensen does, that’s just and right. 

“More,” Jensen demands, looking behind him with big teary eyes. His pupils are tiny and the iris of a thick and rich green. Jared gives him more. Jensen literally sucks the second finger in and when Jared starts massaging his prostate from outside with his thumb, Jensen cries out, stretching more and swallowing Jared’s long fingers to the root. He gasps tiny “oh god’s” and “fuck’s”. And then Jared isn’t able to hold the urge back and test if Jensen really is what Jared needs. Someone who fits him. He covers his long member with a lot of oil and also spreads generous amounts around Jensen’s anus.

“You think you’re ready, yeah?”

Jensen nods. “Positive.”

He even grabs his buttcheeks and pulls them apart, Jared has perfect sight of his slightly mouthing, dilated hole and all he has to do… He gulps violently, but then places his tip on Jensen’s entrance and sloooowly pushes in. Inch for inch. Jensen has to let go of his buttcheeks and his hands press on Jared’s hips.

“Holy… sh…”, Jensen huffs, “Is swearing even allowed?”

“Too much?”

“It’s a lot, but not too much… fuck…” 

Jensen breathes heavily but slowly, as slowly as Jared goes, his hands don’t push against him anymore and Jared can slide in even deeper. He’s amazed by how Jensen’s hole just swallows him, inch by delicious inch. He’s tight, extremely tight, thanks to the thick oily lube he won’t be hurt. Quite the opposite. Jared pushes in, freezes and rubs over Jensen’s back, soothing him. Jensen doesn’t need that much soothing though, after a few seconds of Jared holding perfectly still and just twothree inches away from going inside all the way he sinks against Jared’s hips, taking him fully with a low, needy moan that seems to last an eternity. 

“Please… move…” he moans, while Jared still holds Jensen’s hips and stares. Just stares in awe.

He really did it.

Jared can’t believe it’s really happening, that he feels so close to someone, again, finally, after such a long time. As he doesn’t start moving, Jensen rolls his hips back and forth, his back stretches and his hands clawing in the blanket. He just fucks himself on Jared’s member, doesn’t wait any longer and the moans he utters are - there is no other word -- they’re downright vulgar. It shows how much he lets go and it washes Jared away, his fingertips dig into Jensen’s hips as he meets his recruit’s pace. Now Jensen cries out, the words and moans just drop from his lips, he wants more, and Jared can feel how greedy he is. 

The audience around them is a choir of pleasure sounds, each of them takes Jared up so high he feels like he’s more than drunk. More than high. He feels like he’s elevating.

“Jared… Harder!” 

Jared fucks him harder. Jensen around him stretches and clenches like he wants to milk him dry, make him cum, but not now. It’s too good to let it end too early, he’s been starved too long and he wants to enjoy every second of fucking this angelic but oh so slutty adept. No one ever met his pace, wanted to be fucked harder and harder, no one asked to be sore, but Jensen does.

His moans are so loud his voice breaks and trails off, chokes on his own sounds. Jared loses it at this point, he grips in Jensen’s glossy hair and pulls him on his knees, closer to his body. Pounding his ass now makes beautiful wet sounds. Jensen leans on Jared’s chest and reaches for the prophet’s ass to push him deeper. And deeper.

“Can’t get enough, huh?”Jared growls, his hand in Jensen’s hair is pulling stronger, the other on Jensen’s hip holds him steady. “Want every inch of me?”

Jensen nods, sobbing. “Yes, never been fucked so good… just how I need --” He can’t even finish the sentence, Jared’s mighty deep thrusts make his voice fade into a cry. “Oh, God!”

Jared needs to slow down just for a bit, give himself time to breathe and hold back the orgasm that’s building up. He’ll shoot a massive load for sure, he wants it to be worth it. He bites Jensen’s neck and feels the violent shudder. They cling onto each other, hands in hair, fingernails scratching and leaving red trails. 

“No, no, don’t stop now… I’m so close,” Jensen huffs, turns his head to Jared, their lips meet and Jared kisses him until both are too breathless, too close to be gentle or patient. 

When Jared picks up his pace again it’s only a matter of a few seconds until Jensen cries out and sinks back on all fours, hiding his face in the blanket. He doesn’t have to touch himself to cum, with a loud and guttural sound he spills. And spills. It’s such a mindblowing orgasm. Everything about it is perfect. Jensen’s moans, how he pulls out handfuls of grass. His clenching asshole around Jared. The amount of cum he splatters on the sheets. Jared bends forward, pulls Jensen’s face up and turns it to the crowd.

“Let them look at you,” he hisses, “share the love.”

And then Jared cums, grunting and thrusting as deep as he can. His cock pumps and pumps masses. He’s never come so hard, so long, so satisfying. For a couple of seconds he doesn’t know anymore where he ends and Jensen begins, that’s how good and intimate it feels. Jensen’s tightness squeezes him tight and makes it impossible to move or pull out. 

Jared collapses on Jensen’s back. He’s dizzy. He needs a moment.

Around them the noises turn from moans to grunts. Heavy breathing. Jared gestures to the watchers to stop jerking. He wants to have Jensen for himself for another moment when he pulls out. Jensen winces underneath him but his face just shows blissful exhaustion. Jared loves to watch his cum pouring out his partner’s holes and it’s no different tonight. Not after this divine intervention. Not after he’s been blessed with such a partner. 

It’s a lot. Jensen turns his head to Jared, his face puffy and red, strands of wet blonde hair on his forehead. And now there’s the hint of a smirk. 

“Did I do well?” he asks.

“I think you know…” Jared replies.

His hand strokes Jensen’s still half hard cock and Jensen moans. So sensitive. Next time, Jared might return the favor and suck that pretty cock.

“Your brothers and sisters want to show you how much they enjoyed watching you.”

Jensen looks around, then back to Jared.

Now the smirk is undeniable. 

“Let ‘em come.”

Jared gets up, his muscular body beaming in the light of the moon and embers of the fire. He feels like he’s about to rise above anything and anyone. This union has given him the deepest peace he could ever feel. He still feels painfully hard and when he looks down he still is. His glossy cock perks up, but he won’t take Jensen a second time and risk really tearing him apart. 

Jensen is on his knees, arms stretched forward like a satisfied lioness, sticking out his freshly bred ass to the audience.

“Children. Time to welcome Jensen in your midst.”

Alex approaches Jared to wash him off with a fresh wet cloth and a sponge while the others gather around Jensen. No one touches the recruit, after Jared united with him, but he will be showered in attention and much more.

Two days later, Jensen is still a bit sore. 

He didn’t sleep much on the night of the celebration, he’s been too hyped, too high from the rush of alcohol, adrenaline and sex. Especially the sex. He can still feel Jared’s massive pole in his ass and everytime he gives in to the memory he shudders and feels his white robe tent. 

Everything in this commune is white. The community houses in which the members live, white. The Church, white. Jared’s residence, white. The only thing that seems to be different is the massive wooden chair in which Jared sat during the celebration and watched his followers unify. 

The blankets are white, the towels, the plates. Purity is an important pillar of this group, and everyone who’s not familiar with the customs might argue that collective orgies aren’t really pure, but Jensen knows better already. Purity is based on keeping your body healthy. The diet here isn’t vegan, but the community has their own farm. 120 people need food and water. Most of them live and work here. On the farm where vegetables and fruits are grown seasonally, or they take care of the cattle, pigs and chickens. Others help keep the houses intact. 

Days are warm, the nights are pitchblack, there’s a lake and a river closeby. Women wash the clothes of the community. There is no “mine” and “yours” in the Church. There is only “we” and “us” and “our”. 

Jensen has his own room, because the morning after the orgy, after the morning prayers and morning sports, in the great hall at breakfast, Jared proclaimed that Jensen was indeed heaven sent. Chosen by the Angels. That makes him special enough to have his own room for a while and it helps him acclimate in this environment. Most new members need that. They come from their picket fence life in the suburbs or the pulsing lives of a big city. They had day jobs, night jobs, family, addictions and almost everyone of them has been materially wealthy. 

Everything that keeps them away from living a pure, devoted life with God is taken away here. Jared provides everything they need. 

Some take a week to find their place in the community, some struggle for years. Some pack their bags as soon as they realize that the sense community here also consists of freedom in love, friendships. Children are born in this community and are raised by everyone, not only their genetic parents. No one here claims to own someone or something.

Well.

At least they say so.

Alex’s room is - as it’s appropriate for his position - in Jared’s residence. This morning he decided to cut his shoulder long, honey blond hair and trim his long beard.

Purity doesn’t mean to be shaven clean or have short hair. Purity comes from the heart, free will and the ability to love. Alex doubts he is quite pure at the moment. The community is free of the toxicity of a material life - in the community, you don’t aspire to climb up ranks. There are simply only three ranks. The community, Alex, Jared. Jared is their natural leader, it is supposed to be like that. Alex is chosen. Alex is confident.

He was. His heart is full of love for the cause and for Jared. 

Until a few nights before he looked in the mirror every morning and smiled at his reflection. Because the reflection showed him a confident young man of faith. Full of love, not bound but blessed with free will. 

Then, his heart started to hurt. 

Now he hates his blue eyes, he hates his long hair, he hates the beard. He hates that he isn’t able to provide Jared the one thing he ached for.

It feels like an inconsistency of Jared’s teachings. Or Alex just isn’t at the point of enlightenment he always thought he was. He finds the fault in himself rather than Jared. But he likes it most thinking that it’s Jensen’s fault.

Jensen with the dazzling green eyes that tantalize Alex. And his damn ability to merge with Jared. Something no one in the community ever could provide. 

Alex hates that someone other than him satisfies Jared in any way.

When he looks in the mirror he sees the man who came here all these years ago when Jared’s predecessor was still alive. The man who crashed here after drugs and sex addiction ruined his life.

Growth is something that never stops. And any day you don’t work through your struggles puts you one step further away from divinity and back into the life of materiality and toxicity.

Jared mustn’t know.

Alex stares blankly in the mirror while he shaves his beard off. Completely.

It takes a few days generally for the community to calm down after such a night. Jared knows that. He feels sore himself, but in a good, satisfying way. His community is thriving, they have new members. Fresh blood. The prayers are inspiring. Jared insists on holding the divine services all by himself. These days he’s beaming with love and the rich and satisfying feeling of being connected. This is Jensen’s merit. His sensuality, his sexual aura, everything about him reminds Jared of the Archangel Michael, the fiery son of God who guarded Eden. Everything about Jensen seems to set Jared on fire. And not only Jared. The others feel it too. The women, the men, everyone stares when he passes. It takes Jared a lot of introspection, prayer and exercise to not just drag him back in his bed. Jared is known for being considerate, kind, and balanced. He leads these people on their path to God and divinity, he is their idol. The true Vicar of the Holy Father. Preferring Jensen in his first month here would weaken his own strong will. He’s sure this man is sent by his Father to heal his hurts, but he needs to care for his community first. 

Jared must not be selfish. He obeys the Lord and he will follow His guidance wherever it may take him. When he knows that his community is safe. 

After morning’s prayer and exercise Jared retreats to the communal bath. Alex prepared everything like always. He’s shaven clean and his hair is way shorter than before. While Jared sinks in the hot tub, Alex hesitates to accompany him. He looks bitter. Some of the old worry lines reappeared. Jared makes an inviting gesture.

“Come in, Alex.”

Today, Jared notices, it sounds like more than an order. 

Alex first shakes his head, but then looks up and his face softens. The lines disappear. He undresses and joins Jared for a bit.

Jared pulls him on his lap, it’s unusual for Alex to be physically distant. He recognizes his assistant has a razor cut on his chin. He runs his thumb just right under it and Alex inhales sharply.

“Why did you shave your beard?” he asks.

Alex looks away, bites his lip. His tooth gap is adorable. 

“I didn’t like it anymore.”

Jared frowns. 

“Do you doubt yourself?”

A scoff. Jared knows he just hit a nerve. Alex never scoffs at him.

“It’s just hair,” he replies. Now he even sounds a bit defiant. 

“Alexandros.”

Alex stiffens. Jared has a habit of calling him by his full name when he fucks up, just like a mother would.

Jared cups his face and looks straight in those bright blue eyes and he sees the vulnerable boy that Alex still is. His progress is phenomenal, but part of him will always stay in the darkness he escaped. 

Alex writhes but doesn’t honestly struggle against him. 

“Your looks are not important. Be careful with your heart.”

A faint nod. Jared kisses his forehead, then his lips. Suddenly no writhing, no defiance, no stubborn behavior. Alex is pliant. Good.

“I have to go”, Alex mumbles, “I have to prepare our departure to Seattle… Our original flight was cancelled…” 

Jared nods. Actually he has no desire to attend this event, but as the leader of this religious community, he has to fulfill some duties. Like going to charity events. It’s not that he hates charity, quite the contrary, as a son of God, it’s his pleasure and deepest wish to make the world a better place, but he hates the whole attention. He hates being compared to apocalypse cults or worse. His teachings are as pure as they can get under given pretenses and the struggle of humanity to overcome the Great Tribulation. 

Alex knows. “I know you don’t want to go. But I will make it worth the trip.”

“You always do.”

Alex gets up with slightly shaky legs and a very impressive erection. When he jumps back in his clothes he even turns away. Suddenly he is so shy. When they’re back from Seattle, Jared will have to hold some very intense prayer and service sessions with Alex. He seems in need of healing. And that’s what Jared was chosen for. Provide for people like Alex.

Alex isn’t gone for five minutes when Jared hears a shuffling behind him.

“Did you forget something, Alexandros?”

Someone’s clearing their throat and it’s not Alex. When Jared turns around he sees Jensen standing in the entrance, blushing and looking at his feet.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to… umm, am I disturbing you?” 

Jared’s face lights up and he turns around fully, crossing his arms on the brim of the pool. Jensen is in his white robe, bread crumbs along his collar. He probably just ate breakfast. His hair is messy. 

“Not at all,” Jared replies, “usually, I don’t have guests when I bathe but you’re welcome to join today. You’re new, you can’t know.”

Jensen frowns. “Alex doesn’t count as a guest?”

“No. He is wherever I am, unless he doesn’t want to be.”

Now Jensen’s eyes glow. 

“Like now?”

Jared grins. 

“You are a cheeky one, aren’t you?” he asks.

Jensen stands there, looking at him like he’s about to say ‘yes’, but ultimately doesn’t. 

Jared gestures. “Come in already.” 

Ruffling of clothes tells him that his recruit followed his wish and now gets undressed. A moment later Jensen slides in the water beside Jared, about an arm’s length away. His cheeks turn pink.

“Are you well?”Jared asks, just as the caretaker of his people, he is always worried about them. Always ready to provide care if needed or wanted. 

Jensen’s teint turns even brighter. Ah. The orgy. It was surely his first time.

“I mean, I think I got a little rough with you there,” the leader admits.

Jensen shakes his head a little, a shy smile and a dreamy gaze show that Jensen might indeed be well. It would be reassuring to hear it though.

“No, no, it wasn’t rough at all but I would lie if I said I don’t still feel you inside me. It was a very world-shaking experience.”

“Uh-huh,” Jared replies, “it was.”

The memory alone makes Jared’s body fill with a need to do it again. Just right here. His pliant and slick body, how hot and tight and damn, how responsive and eager he was to take his cock. And that he succeeded!

Jensen turns to him, comes a little closer to get in touch, physically and Jared is very fond of the idea to have him close. Without a word, Jensen’s hand under the water’s surface, lays a hand on Jared’s thigh. Very close to his member. Flaccid. Yet. And still very big. Jared knows he’s gifted with this large cock and people who can take it, they won’t want anything else after they’ve tried it.

“I wondered, why, umm, everyone treats me like I’m super special, you do too…” Jensen’s eyes are fixated on the tiny waves his hand causes when he strokes along Jared’s thigh. “What makes me special?”

That is a very interesting question and Jared needs some time to think about it. Take deep breaths. It also shows that his new member has not ingrained all of the lore of the Church of Grace. That’s normal. No one knows it by heart after joining so recently. 

“Being special is a gift from the Lord, my Father. Everyone is special in their unique way. Take Alex. He’s devoted and tough, loyal and very good at organizing things. Ruth and Judith, you probably crossed their paths already, they’re the best cooks I’ve ever been blessed to taste. Also they are very skilled in sculpting. Everyone is special. Some special things seem to be common, like, so many people on this Earth are talented cooks, tailors, musicians, yogis. And you, you are special, because you give me a feeling of unity in such a primal way, it may seem succinct or superficial. What is it worth, being able to take me? It might not be special to others, but to me this is a thing that brings me peace. And this peace, I can multiply, share it with my people. And by the Lord, it’s not only your physical perks. The way your brothers and sisters here look at you. Some are jealous, but most see in you the most important addition to the community in years. You have a spark in you and you will do great things for the Church. I’m sure of it.”

Jensen stares and Jared notices the slight squint of his deep green eyes. His utter beauty is a gift to humanity already. He radiates purity. If he knows that?

“Is that understandable for you?” Jared asks. He lays a hand in Jensen’s neck and gently squeezes. Pulls him closer. Just an inch but it’s enough to feel Jensen way better and catch his vibes. 

“Yes, it is,” Jensen says, “I’m glad this community welcomed me, I’m glad I met you.”

Now he wraps his hand around Jared’s shaft, which is still too much and he won’t be able to embrace it completely. 

“I was worried, I am worried, it will be the only time to be close to you.”

“You will be close to me every day. At the service, at the monthly celebration. We share everything here.”

“But, can I be alone with you, just like now?” Jensen huffs, his grip tightens. Jared is just a man, his body reacts and he grows hard, so big that the tip would break the water surface now if Jensen let go. 

“I’m a man of my people, I will not deny you. To be honest, yes, I invite you to be with me.”

It would be so easy to lift Jensen up and let him sink down on his cock. It would be amazing to feel him right now. But he is still a little sore. Complete physical unity has to wait. 

“Jared…” A sigh. “What you made me feel that night… I think I felt closer to my true self than ever.”

“I’m glad this is helping you. There will be a lot of occasions for you to discover your deepest self, your fears, your worries… Everything will come to light and I know, you will overcome, you will shine and rise above your plain human being.”

Jensen’s hand moves now. He knows how to touch a man, strictly physical. It's a mechanical reaction after all, but when Jared looks deep into these green eyes he discovers his own need and how much he suffered without a mate that would be close to him. 

“Tell me, how do you like it… I feel it, I need it… you need it…?”

“I long for it.”

Jared wraps his hand around Jensen’s to guide him with the strokes.

He wants it to build up slowly, and his hand on Jensen’s neck holds him steady, whispering his instructions to keep eye contact, when to slow down and when to get faster. And Jensen is all in with it, he’s passionate, his tiny moans and curses, just from seeing Jared, make it extra hot. Actually Jared doesn’t need to climax here, because the mere anticipation of his partner is more than satisfying. They sink in a kiss when Jared’s instructions turn into a breathless staccato of ‘yes like that’s. He’s noisy when he comes and jerks in Jensen’s hand, forceful first but rapidly turning lazy and soft. 

“Teach me more,” Jensen whispers, his face burning red, making his freckles pop even more.

Jared's head sinks on Jensen’s chest. 

“About what?”

“About, what you like, how you like it… how we… connect… unify… Physically, I know… I can do that,” Jensen bites his lip.

“But you don’t know how it works spiritually?”Jared asks, placing a kiss on Jensen’s freckled shoulder. 

“Is that a stupid question?”

A headshake. Why should it be? But Jared knows, Jensen is insecure, he longs for answers and guidance. 

“Believe me, you didn’t ask a stupid question so far. You crave unity?”

Jensen nods.

“Just like you do.”

“I would love to show you more of it. But I will have to go to a congress in Seattle in three days. Alex and I will be gone and you’ll be on your own for a couple of days,” Jared replies. There is indeed some longing in his voice. 

“Oh, that is… it will be long and I’m new, I…”

Jared clicks his tongue while he combs Jensen’s hair. “You don’t have to worry, everyone will take care of you. They will do what I’d do. You will be shown around.”

Jensen shakes his head. His muscles stiffen just lightly.

“That’s not my worry, but- I wish I could be with you.”

This causes Jared’s eyebrows to raise. He wants to be with Jensen, too. Show him the world that Jared lives in and help with the settling. It’s hard to find a place in a community. Jared also fears (and hopes) that Jensen found a way in his heart.

“You are with me. And you will be. You belong to the community now.”

Jensen winds.

“I mean… could you… I would like to go to Seattle. With you…”

“And Alex,” Jared corrects.

“And Alex,” Jensen confirms.

There is no reason to say ‘no’, but there is also no reason to say ‘yes’ that is justifiable. Jensen is new. But he’s shown commitment and he wants to learn. They would bond. Jared wants it. Badly.

“Will it put your heart at ease when I say yes?”

Jared smiles and it’s a knowing one. Jensen smiles. He also knows. 

“Yes, it would.”

The way Jensen smiles and blushes is cute, maybe a little staged. Jared’s not an idiot, he knows that Jensen is wooing him. Trying to impress. Wants to appeal. He already does, there is no need to be overly pliant. Jared enjoys the attention though, who would judge him for it? He presses a kiss on Jensen’s lips and their hug turns closer, just like the last minutes of touching didn’t exist. Jared wouldn’t complain about that, either. 

“Thank you,” he utters before he can think it through.

“For what?”

Jared squeezes Jensen’s growing cock. 

“For giving me - peace.”

Peace is not the only thing Jared wants to thank his disciple for, but Jensen’s soft moan drowns any further thoughts. He wants to merge. Now. He doesn’t want to wait. Not for them to be in his room or Jensen’s. Just take him here.

Alex listens to the quiet conversation that turns into moans and splashing, Jared’s deep and ground shaking grunts. He would be a big fat liar if he claimed to be untouched by it, even Jensen’s soft noises make him rock hard. But what he feels in his heart and what he feels in his body, these two things diverge wildly from each other. He shoves a hand in his pants and hates himself for it. But who he hates more is Jensen. He will take Jared away from him. 

That mustn’t happen.

Alex has to do something about it. Soon.

[julia-highstorms]

Undermount series: The Heir to House Nightbloom

Chapter 1 - Shocking News

Summary: The story revolves around Luxia (my MC), who has her life turned upside down when both her parents die and she’s back to Undermount, to live with her grandfather, Sir Emrys Nightbloom, a respected scholar and private professor to the most influential houses. Now, being an outsider to the elven society, she must learn its culture and traditions and how to fit in (or not). While falling in love with the heir to the Ascendent House, Tyril Starfury.

Author’s note: I am very excited with this idea and it had been playing in my mind for a while now, so I thought “what the hell!” and I am finally posting the first chapter here! I wanted to write a couple more chapters before start posting it because I know me and it will take me 84 years to post a new chapter 🤦 but oh welp. Maybe posting it now I force myself to write more regularly? Who knows. Anyway, sorry in advance for the lateness of upcoming chapters.

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Pixelberry Studios.

Rating: T (trigger warning: death, violence)

Pairing: Tyril Starfury x Luxia Nightbloom (F!Elf!MC) - read more about them here

Word count: +1.8K

___________________

Chapter 1 - Shocking News

The young lord leaned comfortably against his favorite armchair and looked outside the window, admiring the House Starfury Gardens. 

That was one of the few moments in which he could sit down with a book in his hands and relax. Just relax.

As Tyril reached majority, more and more responsibilities were passed down to him by his father - Valir Starfury, the current Lord Starfury -, which the young man accepted proudly. Sooner or later, they knew he would inherit that duty as Valir aged and his health declined, so it was only natural that his first born child would take his place as the head of the House. 

So, those rare moments of complete peace were always welcoming to the young man. Whenever he had a spare moment in his agenda, Tyril would lock himself in his study room to read and let his imagination run free. He firmly believed that few activities could bring him such joy as reading.

But today, somehow, he was unable to do so. He tried to pick up where he had stopped in the book, but was unable to focus. So he picked his favorite map and opened it. Sometimes, when he was unable to concentrate, he liked to open the old map and study all those places he had read about. Whitetower, Port Parnasus, Flotilla… Places he was sure he would never see in real life, only in his imagination.

But that proved to be an equally unsuccessful activity. The young lord did not know why, but he was feeling restless today. 

Finally giving up after his fifth frustrated trial, Tyril decided to just relax. He watched the scene that unfolded in the house's gardens through the large windows for a few moments, the world complete serene. 

He wondered to himself why the gardener was watering the plants when it was clear that it was going to rain soon. The sky was filled with dark and low clouds.

But his thoughts were soon interrupted when Adrina stormed into the room. He turned his face to his younger sister and raised a single eyebrow, surprised by that display of rushness.

"My dear brother, I've finally found you!" - she panted out of breath, her cheeks flushed. - "You won't believe what happened!" - but even before he could ask her what indeed had happened, she spilled it in a rush of words: - "Sir Nightbloom's son and daughter-in-law are dead and his granddaughter is back to Undermount!"

___________________

A week earlier

House Nightbloom was fated to great things.

At least, that was what Emrys Nightbloom stated and firmly believed. 

Those from that house were known to be great scholars, masters of a greater magic and undying loyalty, with generations and generations of tutors and professors who dedicated their lives to teach young lords and ladies of the nobler houses, gaining status and prestige through the centuries. 

They were one of the ancient houses, but had lost their importance through the years since the Great War, when Gustaf Nightbloom decided to flee instead of staying and fighting. But as Sir Emrys himself believed, better be an alive coward than a dead hero, because those that were able to move worlds were the alive ones. And that was what the past generations of the House Nightbloom had been doing since their embarrassing display during the fatidical war. They were great strategists and were able to restore some of their previous glory through the last millennia. 

They would never be a noble house - unless one of their descendants married a noble house -, but they attended that social circle closely. 

Sir Emrys Nightbloom was its current head and a very respected professor within the elven society, having taught some of the great houses' lords himself. Such as Lord Valir of House Starfury, the current Ascendent House. And his heirs, Young Lord Tyril and Lady Adrina. By this, it was easy to presume how old he was.

But Sir Nightbloom had never been ashamed of his age. In fact, he was very proud of it. He had lived longly and greatly, and was among one of the wisest citizens of Undermount.

And being that wise, he knew that he was doomed. House Nightbloom had no direct heir.

Of course it wouldn't cease to exist, but when he died - which he was pretty sure would happen sooner than later. It didn't matter he had been saying that for the last 30 years, he knew this year he would definitely go -, the House's leadership would pass on to his younger brother, Qildor, who wasn't much younger than him, but much less… wise. His hobbies were playing card games and drinking lots and lots of elven wine. Old Emrys was worried that his brother could bring shame and dishonor to the House Nightbloom again, after all those centuries of hard work from their ascendents.

If only his only son, Kal, hadn't decided to be an adventurer and leave Undermount… Sir Nightbloom would be feeling much more secure about the House's fate.

It was a cloudy Saturday afternoon, and the old man found himself in his garden - besides teaching, Sir Nightbloom's great passion was taking care of his collection of exquisite flowers and trees -, when Siveril, the butler, came running toward him.

"Urgent news, Master Nightbloom. I'm afraid they're disturbing."

"Well then, shoot!" - he said, not taking his eyes off of his majestic yellow hibiscus.

The other man nodded and stepped closer to whisper into his ear. Sir Nightbloom's eyes widened and he even let the pruning shears he was holding fall onto the floor, as shock spreaded through his body. 

"Are you sure?" - he asked after Silveril helped him to sit down on a bench. 

"I'm afraid so, sir."

"Both of them?" - the butler nodded. - "And… and… what about Luxia?" 

___________________

Everything happened in a blur.

One moment, she was laughing and talking with her parents, and the next moment, the small village they lived in, Riverbend, and their house was invaded and they were attacked by a bandit raid that took the lives of a dozen of villagers. Including her parents.

Luxia's mother promptly ordered her to hide inside the supply closet in the kitchen. She heard everything, her parents' cries as the blade slashed through their flesh, drawing out blood, while she forced herself to be as quiet as possible as they were being killed.

She crawled out of her hiding place only after she was sure that the bandits had left her house.

The young elf was found by Kade - her neighbor and childhood friend - and other villagers just hours later, after the bandits had been dealt with. The young human's parents had been killed too, but luckily, he was outside at the time of the attack.

The last two days went on a frenzy. The village's physician had examined her and stated that, although she didn't suffer physically, she was deeply traumatized. She had the vague memory of being asked if she knew about any relative she could have, and she told them about her grandfather in the elven city of Undermount, to the north. 

She still could hear their screaming ringing in her ears, and the scene she saw when she left her hiding place. She found her parents lying on the floor, both dead. There was so much blood, the furniture and walls were stained by it. Their bodies dilacerated. They were stabbed to death.

She kept staring at them, unable to move or to do anything. The neighbors' screamings and cries for help could be heard from outside as the bandits invaded other houses, but Luxia couldn't pay attention to any of it. All she could think about was that Mom and Dad were gone.

Now, two days later, she was again staring down at her parents' and other villagers' bodies. Kade's parents were among them. Luxia was lined up with the other survivors, paying their tributes to those who had lost their lives in that vicious attack.

Even though Kal's and Irin's corpses lied in front of her, covered by blankets, waiting to be buried along with others, she still felt numb and overwhelmed by all of those events. She was unable to let a single tear out.

The burial was long and painful, everyone helping and digging graves for the dead, and it took the whole day. Those who had lost their families were being taken care of by other villagers. A kind farmer took her and Kade under his protection.

She was left in one small bedroom by herself and her thoughts. The young elf lied down and tried to sleep, but she just couldn't shut her eyes. Her mind kept replaying the events of the past couple days again and again and endless questions popped up in her head.

How could that have happened? Could she have done something to save her parents? Should she have been killed with them? What was she going to do now? She had nobody. Of course, the people of Riverbend wouldn't throw her away and she knew a thing or two about medicine and cures… she could work with it.

She tossed around the narrow bed. Mom… Dad… What was she going to do? She already missed them. She felt so alone… 

And then. An idea popped up in her head. 

The girl sat up and looked over to the old desk across the room. Not thinking twice, she went over there, lighting up the candle and pulling a blank sheet of paper and a pen. And started writing.

Emrys Nightbloom. That was the name of her grandfather. She knew her father and he didn't see each other in the eye, but he was the only family she had left.

Although she had grown up in Riverbend, and she had few friends there, like Kade, they weren't her family. And she had been and would always be treated differently. Because she was an elf. Maybe, among others like her, she would feel less of an outcast. Although she didn't have much faith in it. 

Her grandfather and she were nothing but strangers, but still, she was positive that he would take care of her. He was family after all, and one thing she knew for sure was that the most important thing in the elven world was your House. Your family. So, she had to try something. 

That same night, Luxia sent away her letter. She didn't know exactly her grandfather's address, but she knew that just writing down the House's name meant something. Her father would often say that House Nightbloom had a sort of status. Hopefully, it was status enough to bring her letter to grandpa.

And so, only after three days she had sent her letter and had buried her parents, an answer from Sir Nightbloom himself arrived and he was taking her under his care.

Luxia left Riverbend that same night, taken by her grandfather's maid.

___________________

Tagging: @hellomynameisdevi @thequeenchoices @srta-give-me-my-jax-rl @soft-for-drake @ohsnapitzlovehacker @melodyofgraves @sitsoncornflake @keviriass @lady-kaya-duskraven @tealtranquiltatter @vanillamaa @my-remedy-is-euphoria @choicesloversstuff @tyrils-star  @lxdy-starfury  @caaliyahxx @choicesarehard @fireycookie @sophie-summer @dalishessence @choicesficwriterscreations  (and if you’d like to be tagged, just tell me 🙂)

[is0gild]

Ice Cream and Fire Oven Pizza - Bonus Chapter 2

Pairing: Elsa x Lea/Axel || Side Pairing: Riku x OC

Summary: Modern AU. She's an introvert ball of nerves who works at Ice Palace, a mall food court ice cream shop. He's the outgoing, sassy goofball who works at the Pizza Planet across the way. Hilarity, snark, and fluffy romcom hijinks ensue.

Word Count: 11,634

FIRST CHAPTER || PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

Credit for super friggin’ cute and super friggin’ amazing cover art goes to the super friggin’ talented ky-jane here on tumblr!

“Pssst. Raindrop. Check it out."

I paid little mind to the new conversation apparently taking form in the kitchen behind me.

"Hm…? What is it? What am I looking at here?" A pause, then a tiny gasp. "...is… is that what I think it is?"

I just kept scrolling through my phone from my seat on the couch, only listening with half an ear.

"Mm-hm! Her first one! Ain't it a beaut?"

Riku was currently out for what was looking to be a particularly long day at work for him and seeing as how we both had the day off ourselves, Lea and I had decided to hang out at my apartment and keep Rayne company. We'd settled on watching a movie, but my roommate had paused it to go get herself a drink. A few seconds later, Lea had gotten up as well, claiming to be a bit parched himself.

"Oh my god, it's so cute and little!"

We'd even brought Marshmallow with us for a visit with his auntie, especially considering Saïx would have flayed us alive if we'd stuck him with dog-sitting duty yet again. My fingers absently scritched behind one of his ears as the little pup contentedly rested his head in my lap. Though my use of "little" was strictly in the loosest sense of the term. Having had him for close to two months at this point, he'd grown quite a bit. He still looked like a puppy, mind you… there was just a lot more puppy to love now.

"I know, right? So precious, so smol. Just a wee baby hickey!"

My head jerked up at the last word, eyes wide. Then I hastily twisted around in my seat. The scene that greeted me in the kitchen was that of Lea with one finger hooked into his tee-shirt collar and tugging it down to show Rayne a tiny patch of discoloration on his skin just below and slightly to the right of his collarbone.

"Lea!" I snapped, face reddening while my hand gripped the backrest of the sofa so hard, my knuckles turned white.

They both looked at me and froze, Lea muttering, "Uh-oh."

Dropping my phone onto the cushions, I was on my feet in a heartbeat and charging towards them, "That was supposed to be private!"

"Now now, El," he soothed as he quickly moved to put the kitchen table between me and him, "how was I s'posed to know that? You never said anything about-"

"It was implied, you… you… ugh, come here!" I snarled, running around the table with Marshmallow hot on my heels, barking excitedly. Rayne just sniggered as she sidestepped out of our way.

Lea was easily able to keep ahead of me, maintaining the table as a barrier between us. "Aw, c'mon, babydoll! This was a big step for you! I was just proud of you and wanted others to share in my joy!"

"No!" I slapped one palm down on the dining surface while angrily pointing a finger at him across it. "No others! You can't tell anyone else, you hear me?!"

"Alright, alright, I won't tell any other people, I swear!" he raised both hands in a placating gesture. Then he pursed his lips to one side as his gaze averted. "Well… any more other people…"

I blanched. "...who? Who else did you already tell? Roxas? Xion?"

He scoffed, splaying his hand against his chest in offence. "Please, just what kinda man do you take me for? I'm a gentleman, I don't do any of that locker-room talk bullshit." He crossed his arms over his chest, harrumphing as if the very notion was an insult to everything he stood for. Then he gave a small shrug, "...I just told Anna."

I choked and spluttered, unable to find words for a few seconds. "My… You told my sister?!" I took off after him once more, but curse him and his freakishly long legs, the jerk was able to move fast enough to keep the table between us. Marshmallow kept prancing about down around our feet, just out of his mind and beside himself from the sudden burst of activity. Stopping once more, my hands seized the backrest of the nearest dining chair and squeezed the life out of it as I growled, "Why? Why on earth would you tell my sister?"

"Lookit it this way. See, it's like… baby taking her first steps, ya know? I just want all of baby's family and loved ones to feel included in these special lil milestones! Baby being you, of course!"

Oh, "baby" was so going to murder this boy.

"And may I just take this moment to add," oh dear lord, he did not know when to stop talking, even if his very life depended on it, "what a privilege, nay, honor it has been to have a front row seat to - not to mention be instrumental in - your sexual awakening these past several weeks and-"

I threw a coaster at him.

"Hey now, watch it, those are fragile!" Rayne chided as she scooped the other ones off the table to tuck away safely in a cupboard before taking out a different stack to hand to me. "Use these instead. They're garbage, but hard as rocks!"

"Don't give her more ammo!" Lea yelped and ducked as I rapidly chucked my freshly stocked supply of munitions at him. Once I was out, I made another dash for him. Once again, he tried to bolt. This time however, he tripped and stumbled over Marshmallow with a tiny, "Shit!" He managed to grab the edge of the table and catch himself but he'd already lost his lead, giving me a chance to close the distance. Right before I could deliver my righteous justice however, he scooped up Marshmallow and was suddenly holding the giant, squirming ball of white fluff up between us, desperately asking, "You wouldn't hit a guy holding a stupidly cute puppy, would you?"

Huffing through my nose, I narrowed my eyes on him. "Put the dog down, Lea," I said, my voice dangerously low and even.

"Seeing as how the lil furball is the only thing between me and an untimely date with my maker, I'm gonna hafta give ya a hard pass there," he chuckled weakly, inching back a step. Then he was calling over his shoulder, "Lil help, Raindrop?"

She just grinned and shook her head from where she'd taken a seat at the dining table. "Mm-mm, nope. You're on your own, Red."

"Dude. Harsh. I thought we were frien- ow!" he hissed as I took advantage of his distraction to pinch his arm. Marshmallow came in for the assist, chomping down on Lea's fingers and forcing a yelp out of him as he dropped the puppy. Giving his abused hand a shake, he scowled down at the culprit. "Et tu, Marshmallow?"

In response, he just wagged his poof of a tail and sunk his teeth into Lea's leg.

"Destroyer of Worlds, my ass. More like Destroyer of My Ankles, you lil-" Lea's grumbling died down instantly as he saw me take a menacing step towards him. Gulping, he took several steps backwards, snatching up one of the kitchen chairs to use for a makeshift shield. As I kept stalking towards him, he continued backing up until his rear hit a countertop. Sitting atop it and scooching back even further until his spine was against the wall, he stretched one foot out to press against my stomach, holding me at bay with it while he shoved the chair legs in my directions a couple times, "Back! Back I say!"

I froze, blinking at him a couple times. "...are you seriously lion-taming me right now?"

He frowned, eyes darting down to the chair he was holding, then back up to meet my gaze. "Depends. Is it turning you on, my sexy lioness?"

My eyelids drooped. "Not even a little bit."

"Then nope! No, mm-mm, definitely not what I am doing." Something suddenly started ringing back from the direction of the living room. Lea straightened up, eyes brightening, "Oo! Oo! That's your phone, isn't it? Better go answer it!"

"It can go to voicemail," I ground out through my teeth, shoving his foot off my abdomen and taking another step closer.

Still frantically using the chair to defend himself, he asked, "You sure 'bout that? Could be important!"

"It can wait."

"I'll get it!" Rayne chirped, rising and moving to the couch where I'd left my phone. Picking it up, her thumb swiped the screen and she held it up to her ear, cheerfully greeting, "Elsa's pants, she's not in them right now!"

"Rayne!" I whipped my head around to glare at her. She simply winked and blew me a kiss. Sighing, I muttered, "You're just lucky you're pregnant, otherwise you'd be next up on my kill list."

"Hey, double standards!" Lea huffed. "No fair, I can't get pregnant!"

Palm covering the lower half of the phone so it wouldn't pick up her voice, Rayne whispered, "Maybe you're just not doing it right."

"Huh… I'm game to give it a whirl." He smirked at me, "Go on, El. Put a baby in me."

My answer came in the form of grabbing two of the chair legs and giving them a hard shove, ramming the edge of the backrest into Lea's gut.

He grunted and wheezed, "Don't think that's how that's done, babe."

Before I could make a retort, Rayne was abruptly holding my phone in front of my face. "It's Larxene."

My head rocked back slightly, my anger dispersing in an instant as my eyes darted from the mobile, then to my roomie, then back again. Why was the assistant director calling me? Brow furrowed, I finally took it from her and held it up to my ear with an uncertain, "...hello?"

"Get your ass down here. Now."

"I… o-of course! But-"

Click.

She'd hung up.

Both eyebrows shot up my forehead as I slowly lowered the phone, staring at my reflection in the now blackened screen.

"What's up, El?" Lea asked, voice immediately colored in concern as he dropped the chair and slid off the counter onto his feet.

I shook my head. "...guess I better get my ass down there."

Leaving Marshmallow in Rayne's care, Lea and I were on the road within minutes and heading towards Sunset Hill Auditorium. That was my best guess anyway as to wherever it was that Larxene wanted me to get my ass down to. I tucked in my bottom lip as I watched the buildings rush past, my fingers fidgeting with my braid.

Why was I being called in?

The not knowing had me on edge.

Our grand opening of Wicked had occurred last weekend. As was to be expected, I'd been so nervous I'd practically choked on all those butterflies jam-packed inside my stomach trying to escape. But it'd been a good nervous. An excited nervous. And in the end, it'd been so much fun and the show had gone off without a hitch.

Or at least, so I'd thought…

Maybe that's why Larxene was summoning me. Maybe I'd screwed up big time in my role without even realizing it. And I was part of the chorus no less - just one of many, so it would've had to have been one major flub on my part for her to take notice and zero in on me. We were back around to Friday now, so tonight was supposed to be our next showing, followed by several more weekends to come before the musical closed out. But maybe… if I had royally flopped super hard last week...

...oh god… was she going to kick me out of the show?

I gave a start as Lea's hand suddenly closed around mine, lacing our fingers together and stopping me from getting this close to tearing my hair out. He pulled it over to rest in his lap, brushing his thumb back and forth along my knuckles as he continued to drive one handed. "You're sure she didn't say anything else? Anything at all?"

Grimacing, I shook my head. "Nothing. Just told me to come and to be quick about it." I puffed out a sigh, staring down at my lap. "...I doubt it's anything good though. She sounded mad."

He gave an unimpressed razz of his tongue. "That hag always sounds like someone's spit in her Cheerios, so that's not saying much."

That earned him a feeble smile from me, one that swiftly faded. "...what if…" I began, but then clamped my mouth shut against the words, my frown deepening. "...there's this one scene… you remember, from when you saw it last weekend? The bit with the party, where Elphaba is pranked into wearing the witch hat? There's one part of that whole dance routine where we - the chorus that is… we're supposed to twirl to and fro, and maybe… what if I to'd when I should have fro'd and that's why she's calling me in? I to'd when I should've fro'd and wrecked the whole scene and now she's cutting me and making sure I can never, ever work in theater again and-"

"Nonsense, El," he chuckled, shaking his head as he pulled up my hand to kiss the back of it. "Your to-ing and fro-ing were perfect last week. Perfecter than perfect. Those to's and fro's were so perfect that everyone in the audience was too busy being enchanted by you to even pay any attention to the leads and whatever the hell they were doing. In fact, do you wanna know who was sitting in the very seat next to me during that showing?"

My eyelids drooped at how thick this dork was laying it on. "No, but I get the feeling you're about to tell me," I deadpanned.

He grinned big as he turned the car into a parking spot in front of the auditorium and killed the engine. "Why, it was none other than the Grand High King To-And-Fro Champion of the Universe himself! And he was so stunned, so amazed, so enthralled by your hella sick to-ing and fro-ing skills that I overheard him say," here his voice deepened theatrically, "at long last! I've found a worthy successor to bequeath my bedazzling, golden To-And-Fro Crown to!"

I scoffed, using climbing out of the car as an excuse to hide my small, traitorous smile. "Wow, there's a To-And-Fro Crown?"

"You bet your sweet booty there is!" he chirped as he exited the vehicle himself, slamming the door shut behind him.

An amused little huff escaped my nose as I joined him, slipping my hand back into his before making my way towards the entrance to the building. Then I was shooting him some suspicious side-eye. "...you're planning to make me a crown now, aren't you?"

"I dunno what you're talking about," he said a touch too innocently as we climbed the steps and walked inside.

I shot him a dull look. "Do not make me a crown."

"Oh-ho, you're getting a crown whether you like it or not, babycakes."

A soft snort escaped me as I pulled to a stop alongside the back row of audience seats. Then the chilly anxiety began to creep its way back inside my chest. Wrinkling my nose, I muttered, "It'd probably be best if I didn't take you in back with me, so just… wait here, I suppose. This should only take a few minutes… I hope."

Instead of releasing my hand as I turned to go however, his grip gently tightened as he said, "Wait, you forgot this."

"Wha-?" was all I managed to get out before he was tugging me back to him, cupping my cheek and pressing his lips to mine. For a moment, all thoughts of dread were forgotten, washed away by the waves of icy heat sent cascading throughout my body.

As he pulled away, he pressed his forehead to mine and trailed the pad of his thumb along the curve of my cheekbone, murmuring, "Whatever her High-And-Mighty Bitchiness wants, ya give her hell, you hear me?"

Face a little warm, I gave him a tiny smile and a single hesitant nod. Then I squeezed his hand before disentangling our fingers and heading towards the door that led to the backstage area.

The rooms back here were a ghost town currently. I knew however that in only a few short hours the place would be pure chaos with actors and techies alike rushing about in preparation for tonight's show. I frowned, fidgeting with my fingers as I slowly wandered from room to empty room, curious as to where exactly the fearsome assistant director might be hiding. Just when I was thinking about texting her to be sure this actually was in fact where she'd wanted me to come, I heard muffled voices. I glanced around for a second before making my way towards the dressing room as that seemed to be where they were coming from.

Poking my head through the doorway, I spotted three older women who I knew helped Sally with all the costuming for the shows here. They had a few of the costumes for the musical in hand, waving them about as they talked amongst themselves somewhat frantically. All their words were jumbling together into such a muddle of indecipherable noise, it was a wonder any of them were able to keep up with their own conversation.

Taking in a deep breath to settle my nerves before exhaling, I approached them with a polite, "Hi Flora, Fauna, Merryweather... Would any of you possibly know where Lar-"

"Ah! There you are, dear, and not a moment too soon!" The one in a red knit sweater, Flora, cried as she and the others whirled around to face me. "Come, come, there's too much to do and not enough time to do it all in! So many adjustments to make!"

And then I yelped as the three of them pounced.

Okay, maybe "pounced" was a tad strong. But they came at me brandishing tape measures in their hands and safety pins gripped between their teeth and if I'm being perfectly honest, it was a little distressing to say the least.

"Adjustments? What adj- hey, that tickles!" I squirmed as Flora, the one wearing the green hat, stretched out my arm to measure from wrist to armpit. "Adjustments to what?"

Flora smiled sweetly back at me as she wrapped the tape around my bicep now, "To the costumes, of course dear! What else?"

Well duh, I'd figured that much out! But which-

Oh! Hold on… could it be that…

"...was there an accident with one of my outfits? Did something rip and you just need to fix it?" Was that why I'd been called down here? Because if that's all it was, thank goodness!

The lady sporting a blue scarf, Merryweather, ignored my question as she straightened back up with a scowl after taking my height measurement. "Aww, phooey! You're shorter by five inches! Now we have to take up all the hemlines!"

My eyebrows knit together, "Wha… hemlines? What are you… shorter than what? Just what is going-"

"There you are!" A new voice exasperatedly joined the conversation from behind us and I turned to see Larxene striding into the room bearing a clipboard. Or rather, I tried to turn, only to have Flora flip me back around so she could resume measuring my shoulders. "Finally! You certainly took your sweet damn time!"

Wincing slightly, I began, "I… I got here as fast as I could, I-"

She sighed boredly, "Save it, I don't give a crap." Coming to a stop next to me, she eyed her clipboard as she flipped through a couple of the pages. "I got ahold of the others and they should be here any minute for our dry run. As long as no one fucks anything up, that should leave enough time to finish making sure all your costumes fit, your hair is done, and-"

"My hair? What are you doing with my... Wait, why wouldn't my- stop that," I hissed, shooing Fauna away from getting that tape cord anywhere near my bust before looking at Larxene again. "Why wouldn't my costumes fit? And dry run? What dry run? I didn't know about any more rehearsals being scheduled before the show today."

The assistant director gave me a flat look. "...Marluxia didn't tell you?" When my answer was only a blank stare, she growled in her throat, closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Of course he didn't. Why would he? He's only the damn director, ugh! Leave it to Pinkie to delegate without even bothering to tell me!" Cyan eyes locked on me once more and voice taking on what had to be the most unenthused tone in the entire history of all tones, she informed me, "Congratulations. You're Elphaba."

Sorry, I'm who now?

I blinked. Once, then twice. Then, "I'm…? Elph- Wha? Me? No, that can't- That's not- It doesn't- It's not- There's just- It couldn't- No, no, no, there must be-"

Gosh, I've always had such a way with words.

Pressing my lips together firmly and taking a second to gather my thoughts, I tried again. "Snow White-"

"Snow White has food poisoning and can't go on," Larxene enunciated as if she were explaining to a four-year-old child. "So Pinkie has shoulder-tapped you to step up and fill in. Mazel-fucking-tov, now can we move past this already?"

I frowned, barely even noticing now as the flurry of poking, prodding and measuring continued about my person. "But what about… I mean surely there must be a… an understudy! Or-"

She barked out a laugh. "An understudy? Princess please, this is community theater, what understudy?"

My gaze fell to the floor, a crease forming between my eyebrows. Then I was looking at her again, "But this just doesn't make any sense, there has to be someone else! Someone with… with more experience! Why not Tiana or-"

"Tiana's busy," Larxene rolled her eyes.

I shook my head, "Doing what?"

"Um, playing Glinda? Doi?" she arched an eyebrow at me, then scoffed. "We're not going to play musical goddamn chairs with all the leads just a few hours before the show starts. That'd be a royal shitshow, genius. So why don't I just leave all the prancy-wancy acting… stuff to you while you leave the assistant directing to me, okay?" That last word was dripping with enough sarcasm to fill a whole friggin' bucket.

"Then…" I bit down on my bottom lip, breathing shallow and mind racing, desperate to come up with any other solution. "...then one of the other girls! From the tryouts who aren't in the show! Like, oh, what was her name… Yuna?"

Larxene watched me blankly. Then she was tucking her clipboard into her armpit so she could clap her hands together once and coo in candy-coated sweetness, "Okay, yeah! Let's bring in someone who hasn't been to any rehearsals and doesn't know any of the stage layout or any of the choreography! It's perfect! Gee, why didn't I think of that?"

The mockery was neither appreciated nor lost on me.

"Fine! What about- I said stop!" Fauna had been making another shot for my bust and I stumbled out of that tangled mess of hands and measuring tape, huffing and puffing through my nose as I glanced back at them, "What are you even doing?!"

"Making sure we can get all of Snow White's costumes to fit you, dear! Now hold still, we're almost done," Flora said before they all ambushed me again.

Resigned to my fate for the moment, I turned my attention back to Larxene, "But what about one of the other girl's in the chorus? There has to be- There must be someone else who's more trained or… or would be a better fit or-"

"For fuck's sake, Snowflake, why are you fighting this so hard? Do you really need the validation of having me spell it out for you that badly?" Larxene snapped.

My head rocked back and I stared at her with eyes wide. "Wha… Validation? What are you… That's not-"

"Fine." She thrust up one hand to tick off her pinky finger, "One: you're consistent. Annoyingly so. You're the only chorus member who's shown up to every single damn one of the rehearsals. Maybe because all those other pathetic losers have more of a life than you? Don't know, don't care."

Hey now, I had a life!

...I think… it was still sort of a work in progress...

"Two," up went the next finger, "you know the show front and back and could probably recite the whole damn thing from cover to cover at the drop of a hat. You think we haven't noticed you backstage, mirroring all the other actors' stage directions and dance routines and miming along with all the lines and songs like some dumb parrot?"

Oh gosh, they saw that?! Color me mortified.

"Three, you actually got halfway decent pipes and should be able to handle Elphaba's songs at least well enough to not completely embarrass yourself."

Wow, thanks for the vote of confidence.

Jutting out one hip to plant a fist against it, Larxene stared down her nose at me. "So what's it gonna be, Shortbread? You've put in the time, you know your stuff, you got the voice… question is, you got the balls to actually do it?"

I stiffened, sucking in a breath and holding it. I'd run out of arguments to push back with. And honestly…

...did I really want to be arguing this?

The silence stretched as my heart pounded in my ears. Then finally and at long last, I gave a single yet vigorous nod. "Yes."

She smirked. "Good, cuz that was a trick question. You didn't actually have a choice, bitch."

The door to the room banged open as yet another person abruptly came sprinting into the room. She had long dark red hair beneath her newsboy cap and poking out of her shoulder bag was a crude hand-sewn doll that she was never seen without, though I'd never quite been able to figure out what it was exactly… a cat? A pig? Your guess was as good as mine. As for the girl herself, what I did know about her was that she also helped with costuming. Right now, she came bearing a giant black bottle that she waved high over her head. "Got it! Got th… the hair dye!" she panted out as she came stumbling to a stop and braced her shoulder against the wall for support, looking as if she'd just run a marathon.

"Hair dye?" my hand unconsciously went to my braid.

"Oh don't worry!" she gave an exhausted chuckle as she batted her hand through the air. "It's the kind that washes out, but it'll still look great on you!"

"Alright, wrap this up, ladies, we don't have all fucking day," Larxene snapped her fingers a couple times as she started making her way towards the exit. "Snowflake, your ass better be on stage in five so we can get this damn show on the road, got it?"

"Ah… y-yes, of course, I'll be-"

But she was already gone, slamming the door shut behind her.

"Shiki, be a dear and get these measurements to Sally," Flora finished jotting something down on two slips of paper before handing them both to the redhead. "There's a copy in there for you too, so you can grab Elphaba's nightgown for the Popular scene and start taking in the waist."

"Got it!" Shiki nodded as solemnly as a soldier being sent off to war. I was surprised she didn't salute before she darted out through a door in back that led to a deeper part of the dressing rooms.

The remaining three women were suddenly a red, green and blue whirlwind of activity as they bustled about the room, a cacophony of noise once more, flailing costumes as they went. I just kind of stood off awkwardly to one side, rubbing my elbow. Fauna noticed me long enough for a quick but friendly, "We're done, dear."

"Oh, okay," I nodded as she dashed off.

More awkward standing.

"Go on, shoo!" Merryweather impatiently whipped the outfit she was holding at me as she blurred past.

With a start, I gasped, "Right! I, uh… I'll get out of your way," before hastily retreating out the door.

I was still kind of in a state of shock. Because, come on… that was a lot to happen in the space of five minutes! Here I'd come in expecting to get cut, not to have a friggin' lead part dropped into my lap. None of this felt real. Was this a dream? Or maybe more like a nightmare, considering I'd actually been crazy enough to say yes. Oh dear god, was I even ready for this?

Feet seemingly on autopilot, I hardly realized where I was even going as I numbly walked back out towards the audience seating. Lea was slouched down in one of the chairs in back, lollipop stick poking out of one corner of his mouth and red Converse kicked up onto one of the backrests of the row in front of him as he thumbed through his phone.

Looking up as I approached, he grinned and hopped up to his feet with a chipper, "How did it go with Larxy?" But then he squinted at me with a frown. "...do I need to knock her block off? Cuz I'll do it. I don't care if she's a girl, I'll-" he cut himself off, lips pursing to the left. "Scratch that, that hag scares the everliving crap outta me. But I'll tell you what, I will definitely write her a strongly worded letter, or… ah! Passive aggressive post-it notes! That bitch is gonna be getting so many passive aggressive post-it notes from me, she'll rue the day she ever messed with my boo!"

Shaking my head slowly and still in an almost sort of trance, I said, "They're, uh… they needed to make adjustments."

One of his eyebrows quirked. "Adjustments?"

I nodded, staring off into space, eyes unfocused. "To the, um… the…" I gestured to my clothes by way of explanation. Don't think he got it. I kept going as if he had though. "And there's hair dye. And a dry run. Because of the poison."

"Poison?" he echoed again, this time slightly more alarmed.

"So they asked me to- well, I mean, I told them they should have a- you'd think they would have one, wouldn't you? But apparently no, not for community theater. So I said, well why not Tiana? But.. but Larxene didn't want to play musical chairs, and I suppose she had a point. And Yuna hasn't been around and wouldn't know any of the- not to mention all of the other girls have more of a life, so that apparently makes me the-" I suddenly inhaled sharply, digging my phone out of my pocket. "I should tell Anna."

"What? Tell Anna what?!" he asked, but I had already tapped her name in my contacts and was pressing the phone to my ear as I shushed him. His shoulders slumped and he muttered, "I have no freaking clue what's even happening."

It only rang once before a male voice answered, "City zoo, reindeer speaking."

Rolling my eyes as I also heard Anna's faint snickering in the background on the other end of the line, I said, "Hi Kristoff. Could you put my sister on please?"

Oh yeah, those two were an item now. Well, kind of… it was still new and Anna was taking it slow for once.

They were actually kind of cute together.

Though it was really weird seeing Kristoff smile so much now.

"Dweeb," came a muffled giggle from Anna, which I assumed was more so directed at my coworker than at me. There were some shuffling sounds as the phone presumably exchanged hands before she came in loud and clear in my ear with a bright, "Hey, Sis! What's up?"

At long last, a hint of a smile started to tug at my lips. "Something… something amazing has happened, you'll never guess! I-"

"Oh! I know already, and I am so friggin' proud of you, you have no idea!"

I blinked, tipping my head to one side. "You are? Wait, how could you possibly know already? I just-"

"Lea told me!" My forehead wrinkled at that as my eyes darted to him. Suddenly she let loose a piercing squeal and I flinched, holding the phone away a bit. "Ahhh! Lookit you! My big sis is all growed up and giving her man hickies! 'Bout friggin' time too!"

My right eye twitched.

Ah. Right. That. I'd almost forgotten.

My free hand snaked out to give Lea's arm another pinch and he yelped, lollipop tumbling from his lips. Fumbling to catch it, he grumbled, "Shit, El, what'd I do?"

Jabbing my fingertip against his chest at the exact spot where I'd left my mark under his shirt, I hissed, "You know what you did."

With a tiny sheepish chuckle, he scratched a spot behind his ear. "Oh yeah…"

Oh-ho, he was going to rue the day. And trust me, it wasn't going to be with passive aggressive post-it notes.

I narrowed my eyes on him as I continued my phone conversation, "First of all, I never want to hear the H-word coming out of your mouth again. You're my little sister, it's just… it's too weird." I paused with a small shudder, but then a grin slowly began fighting its way back onto my face. "Second of all… I'm Elphaba."

"...elle-fab-wha?"

I made a noise in my throat that was half sigh, half groan. What, did she sleep through the show when she saw it last week? ...honestly, I wouldn't have been surprised. "A lead. They made me a lead, okay? Th-" a gasp stifled my words as my free hand flew up to cover my mouth. It was finally actually hitting me. This was real. Saying out loud had suddenly made it so very, very real. "Oh my god, they made me a lead."

"They what?!" Anna shrieked in delight at the same time Lea surprised me by hugging my waist, picking me up and spinning me around as he laughed, "Babe, that's amazing!"

As he was putting me back down, I could hear Anna babbling, "How did this happen?! Tell me, I want to know everything! How is this even possible? Aren't all the leads filled?"

I opened my mouth to respond, but Lea started talking as well, "Did one of the stars call in sick? Shit, did she call in dead? You said something about poison, which is a thing I think we sorta glossed over and should circle back to."

Again, I took in a breath to form words. Again, I was cut off. "Did they realize how friggin' talented and beautiful and incredible you are and just write a new leading part specifically for you?"

"Was the actress poisoned? Was she murdered?" Lea then gave a dramatic mock gasp. "...did you murder her for the part?"

"What am I saying? Of course that's what they did, ah! I can't believe they friggin' wrote in a whole new character just for you! Except I can believe it and I do!"

"Cuz if you did, you know you can tell me, right? Your secret is safe with me, just damn, El... who knew beneath that whole sweet, doe-eyed routine of yours beat the heart of a ruthless, cold-blooded killer?"

"Both of you, shush!" I huffed, finally managing to get a word in edgewise. Jeez, I could barely handle one person talking to me on a good day, let alone two at the same time. To my boyfriend, I articulated slowly, "Food poisoning, Lea. Food poisoning." As he just sniggered and shrugged, I spoke into the phone, "And Anna, no, that's not how plays work. Someone fell ill, I'm just filling in." I puffed out a soft breath and hesitated, worrying my bottom lip between my teeth now. "...listen, are you busy tonight? Do you think… Would you be able to make it?"

"You want me there?! Really?" I winced at how shocked she sounded. "I mean, Sis, don't get me wrong, I'd absolutely love to go, but… me being there, that wouldn't, ya know… psych you out or make you feel more pressure?"

Restless fingers fiddling with my braid, I was silent for a few seconds. Then I gave a firm nod even though I knew she couldn't see it. "I would… really like it if you were there. Kristoff can come too, if you want."

Another eardrum bursting squeal. Don't think I was joking either. Pretty sure that was blood I felt trickling out of my ear now. "We are so there! We'll be like your groupies! We'll paint our faces and hold up signs saying how much we heart you and-"

"No!" I said quickly. Because I knew Anna. She wasn't kidding. "No face paint, no signs!"

"Oo, what's this I hear about face paint and signs?" Lea's eyes lit up.

I hung my head, pressing my fingers to the spot between my eyebrows. "Great, now you've gotten Lea's hopes up. You know how he latches on."

Giggling, Anna said, "And don't worry about inviting Mom and Dad, I'll pass the invite along to them for y-"

My shoulders stiffened. "Do not tell them! They won't care."

"But-"

"Just don't, Anna, okay? See you tonight." I scowled as my thumb pressed the 'End Call' button, silencing any further argument from her.

"Don't tell who what?" Lea asked, cocking his head slightly.

With a tiny exhale as I pocketed my phone, I said, "She wanted to invite my parents to tonight's show as well, which is ridiculous. They wouldn't want to come."

He frowned, then crossed his arms as he leaned one hip against an audience seat. "Do you want them there?"

I scrunched up my face. "...I haven't spoken to them in months. Not since that disastrous weekend you and I visited them. If the first thing they heard from me after all this time was to ask them to come see my silly little play… no, they wouldn't be interested. In fact, they'd probably be insulted. You know they discouraged my interest in theater all my life, so this would just be like a slap in the face to them. This is the last place they'd want to be, they wouldn't even be caught dead here. They won't come."

"But do you want them there?" he pressed again.

Hugging myself, I looked down, staring hard at my feet. "...Anna better listen to me. She better not tell them, or I'll-"

"What part of 'ass on stage in five' did you not understand, Princess?!" Larxene's voice was suddenly booming throughout the auditorium. I whirled around to see all the other performers had arrived and were waiting on stage with our illustrious assistant director in the front, glaring daggers at me as she impatiently tapped her foot. "Chop, chop, we don't have all day!"

"C-Coming!" I stammered back, then screwed my eyes shut as another thought struck me. I muttered, "Shoot, I was going to call Rayne too."

"Don't worry, I'll pass the message along. We'll all be there with bells and whistles on," Lea winked. I gave him a quiet thank you as I turned to rush off. Before I could take so much as a step however, Lea stopped me with a, "Hey." I glanced back at him and he grinned softly as he reminded me, "They gave you a lead."

I blinked. Then a huge smile spread across my face.

This was happening.

This was real. Like, really real.

Suddenly bubbling over with excitement and in need of an outlet, I flung myself at Lea and kissed him.

"God fucking damnit, now, Snowflake!" Larxene snapped.

"Be right up!" I called as I released him, tossing him one final hasty wave over my shoulder as I dashed towards the stage.

This wasn't a dream.

This was really happening.

And I couldn't wait to get started.

Scratch that, I could wait.

Maybe hold off for another hour or two? Or, I don't know… twelve? Tomorrow! Yes, tomorrow, would be great. Or better yet, perhaps a week from now? Heck, why not round it up to a nice, even year. Sound good?

If it wasn't obvious, I was having second thoughts. Not to mention third and fourth thoughts to boot.

It was kind of hard not to when I'd made the mistake of peeking out past the curtains to see just how many people were out there. Answer? A lot. So many. Too many. How did they even all fit in there? I could swear I remember the auditorium being a lot smaller… had it grown bigger in the past couple hours? Pretty sure it had grown bigger. I mean, that was the only logical explanation for the sheer amount of people in the audience now, right? Right.

Letting go of the curtain to block out the terrifying sight once more, I drew in a slow breath and held it for a few seconds. There was about fifteen minutes left before the show was to start. Fifteen very few, very short minutes. My face and neck were painted green, along with my hands that currently shook as I wrung them together. My hair was black and still braided and very tempting to tug at, but I resisted. My costume - a formal, blue three piece skirt suit with a knit cap - still didn't quite fit right in some places, but it fit well enough. The costuming ladies had actually done a pretty amazing job in the scant time they'd had to work with, I couldn't even fathom how they'd managed to get everything done. My best guess? Magic. It was the only thing that made sense.

My pulse chugged along at what felt like a billion beats per second and… crud, my palms were clammy. I hoped that wouldn't wipe away the body paint. Ugh, you would think I wouldn't be so nervous. I mean, what was the big deal anyway? So what if I was going to be on stage in front of that huge crowd? You know what, I'd been on stage in front of a huge crowd last week too and I'd handled it just fine. True, I'd just been a part of the chorus then, whereas tonight I was Elphaba, but what was the difference, I mean really? Just a handful of solo songs, a few hundred (or was it thousand?) more lines… then of course so many more eyes focused on me… so many more chances that something could go wrong…

Dammit, I was just being silly! Repeat after me, Elsa: nothing will go wrong. Nothing will go wrong. After all, the dry run had gone smoothly, hadn't it? Almost surprisingly so. Now I just had to do the exact same thing again, only this time in front of a room full of people!

...so many, many people...

Okay, this wasn't helping. I needed to take my mind off all this anxiety and calm down. What was that old trick for dealing with stage fright? ...picture the audience naked?

I hesitated, pursing my lips to one side. Then I poked a finger through the curtains once more to take another quick look. Then I was retracting my hand to my chest, letting the curtains fall shut again.

...yeah, no. Pretending like I was performing for a nudist colony? Not helping.

Now I was only nervous and blushing. Just dandy.

A hand suddenly clapped down on my shoulder, making me jolt and swallow a small yelp.

"Don't worry, you'll be great!" someone whispered next to me. I turned my head to see Tiana smiling brightly at me, looking stunning in her poofy, sparkly Glinda dress with her hair done up in lustrous curls. "Break a leg."

It took a second for my brain to catch up and remember that that was an old theater saying for wishing me luck.

Oh gosh, were we… bonding? I wasn't quite sure, I didn't know what it looked like. Everyone here had always been nice enough to me, of course, but it's not like we interacted all that much outside of rehearsals, not really. I'd been getting slightly better with this whole human interaction thing, but I still wasn't exactly big on the concept. I didn't know what to do with this newfound showman camaraderie.

...at the very least, I should reciprocate, right?

As she moved off to get onto her floating platform that she was supposed to make her grand entrance on at the start of the show, I quietly but hastily called after her, "You, uh… y-you too! Break both of them! And… and an arm as well!" Wait, what? "In fact, I'll break them all for you and-"

Both my hands shot up to gag myself.

For the love of… Learn to quit while your ahead, you stupid useless mouth!

Breathing a muffled sigh into my fingers, I slowly lowered my hands as I glanced up at the clock hanging on the wall. The minutes were ticking by far too quickly. My body was practically vibrating with all the nervous energy coursing through it and not for the first time, I seriously considered making a break for it. I knew where the back exit was to this place and I'd been left unsupervised. Really, that was just asking for trouble. Everyone should know by now what a goddamn friggin' flight risk I was!

I pushed that oh so appealing thought to the back of my mind however, locking it up and throwing away the key. A distraction… that's what I needed right now! But where to find such a thing…?

I looked to the heavy velvet curtain once more, pausing for a few heartbeats.

You'd think I'd have learned my lesson by now, but…

Yet again, I nudged it open a smidge to peek out.

It only took me a few seconds to spot them in the audience, third row from the front and slightly towards the right. Lea, Roxas, and Xion, chatting and laughing about something. Lea abruptly got Roxas in a headlock and started mussing up his hair while Xion just cackled. I hid a tiny grin behind my fingers as I watched Rayne reach across Xion, using her playbill pamphlet to swat at Lea's elbow trying to get him to stop manhandling Roxas.

This was what I'd needed to soothe me. To look out into that sea of people and see the faces of those I cared about.

To Rayne's right, Riku just read his own playbill and wisely stayed out of the mini-brawl that'd broken out. Then next to him were Anna and Kristoff. My sister was currently making a silly face as she took a selfie of the two of them, while he sported a goofy smile and couldn't seem to take his eyes off her.

Yes, exactly what I'd needed. One look at Lea, Roxas, Xion, Rayne, Riku, Anna, Kristoff, and my parents already had me feeling so much-

Wait…

Run that list by me again?

Lea, Roxas, Xion, Rayne, Riku, Anna, Kristoff, and-

I gasped, the curtain escaping my grasp and slipping back into place.

No, no, no, what were they doing here?! They shouldn't be here! They couldn't be here! There had to be some mistake! I must have been seeing things, it must have just been some… some trick of the light! Yeah, that had to be it! All I had to do was pull the curtain aside again and see for myself that it was just some other older couple who looked ridiculously rich, ridiculously out of place, and ridiculously uncomfortable.

Swallowing hard, I tentatively reached for that thick velvet fabric once more, parting it by an inch.

...fudge. No question about it. That was definitely and without a doubt... my parents.

I released the curtains once more, frowning. A few seconds ticked by. Then I poked them to one side again.

Nope. Still there. Still them.

...maybe I should try closing and opening the curtains one more time?

Zip it, brain, you're not helping!

This just… this didn't make any sense! What were they even doing here?!

My anxious eyes darted over a couple seats from them to where Anna was still in selfie mode, finger hooked in her mouth to flash her gums while she stuck out her tongue and crossed her eyes.

My eyelids drooped.

Why that little…

I dashed over to the dressing rooms, snatching my phone out of the locker I was using for my personal items before rushing back over to the curtains, fingers furiously tapping out a text message as I went.

I will END you.

Annnnnnnd send.

Sneaking a glimpse out into the audience once more, I watched as Anna suddenly went very rigid, face pale and wide eyes locked on her phone screen. Then, as if she could sense my icy death glare on her, she looked up and directly at the tiny gap in the curtains through which I was peering. I swiped a finger slowly across my throat. She quite visibly gulped, gaze darting over to our parents. Oh yes. She knew exactly why I was going to murder her. Then her thumbs were a blur as they started tapping at her phone. I felt mine vibrate in my hands and I glanced down at it.

it wsnt me i swear thy just showd up id nevr do that 2 u plz dont kll me i luv u and thnk ur so so pretty

As she then proceeded to spam me with various heart and kiss emojis, a crease formed between my eyebrows and I looked to the crowd once more. My parents wouldn't have known to come on their own, so someone had to have told them.

If not Anna, then who…?

My gaze landed on another certain redhead, currently snickering as his fingers ruffled his hair.

...oh-ho, he wouldn't have much left to snicker about by the time I was through with him.

Glancing to my phone once more, I swapped over to my text conversation with Lea and started typing.

Left backstage door. Now.

I watched long enough to see him pull out his phone, quirk an eyebrow as he read my message, then hop up to his feet to make his way towards the requested rendezvous point. I ran behind stage, turning down a hallway and descending the steps leading to the other side of that same door. As I pulled it open a crack to peer out, I could see Lea standing there with his back to me, hands shoved into his pockets as he idly rocked on his feet while waiting. The audience murmur was dying down as the lights began to dim, indicating the show was about to start. That was okay, that still gave me roughly ten more minutes before I had to be on stage.

More than enough time to hide the body when I was through with my meddling boyfriend.

"Psssst," I hissed to get his attention, opening the door wider.

Lea spun around, took one look at me and snerked, both hands coming up to cup over his mouth. His eyes crinkled as he seemed to take a second to compose himself. Then in a whisper that shook with barely contained laughter, he said, "I'm sorry, but you make… the cutest teenage mutant ninja turtle."

Not wanting to disturb the audience as the first notes of the play's music started up, I simply rolled my eyes, grabbed him by the front of the shirt and yanked him through the door, letting it fall shut behind him.

He stumbled into me, his hands immediately going to my hips as he smirked down the few inches that separated us. "Mmm, so that's what this is? Need me to help you work off some of those pre-show jitters, huh? Wouldn't think you'd have the time to squeeze in a lil makeout sesh, but if you insist…" He gently pressed me up against the wall, pinning my body there with his. Ducking his head down, his lips found my throat as he murmured, "I'll admit, I am pretty curious to find out just how far down this green goes…"

I shivered as his kisses down my neck left a warm tingle in their wake.

...reason…

There'd been a reason I'd wanted to see him, and this wasn't it.

...unless… was it?

Wait! No! Focus, Elsa, focus! I'd wanted to talk to him about, uh… about my, uh…

"Parents!" I breathed out at last, regaining some semblance of thought as I cleared my throat. "It was you who invited my parents here, wasn't it?"

He stilled against my neck. Then he was straightening back up once more and I had to choke back a laugh. Thanks to my body paint, his mouth had now taken on a lovely shade of emerald. "Maybe… who wants to know?" he asked with a playful shrewdness. I narrowed my eyes up at him, to which he grinned, "No seriously, who? I can't tell which one you're supposed to be. Donatello? Raphael?"

"Bold of you to mock someone who's has intimate knowledge of all your weak points," I deadpanned, poking him in the side where I knew he was ticklish. He yelped and squirmed. Ah, sweet sweet vengeance. I then released a grumbling sigh. "...I told you not to tell them."

Lea struck up a finger, "Correction: you told Anna not to tell them. You never said a word about what I myself should or shouldn't do."

"But I said I didn't want them here!" I shot back, mindful to still keep my voice low.

"Did ya though?" he cocked an eyebrow at me. My hand shot out for his ticklish spot again, but he caught it with a triumphant, "Ha! But no really, you didn't. You did however give me an impressive list of excuses as to why you assumed they wouldn't wanna come."

"Because they wouldn't!" I pressed. But then I hesitated, averting my gaze before muttering, "...or rather… I thought they wouldn't." I shook my head. "...what did you even say to them?"

His shoulders gave a small shrug. "Nothing much, I don't even remember really. But cliff notes version? Something along the lines of how important this was to you and if they ever hoped to have even so much as a snowball's chance in hell of being a part of your life ever again, it'd be important to them too."

My face twisted sourly. It was kind of getting hard to stay mad at him. Especially when I had to keep staring at those toad-lips of his. But damned if I wasn't going to try. "So what, you expect me to believe you just called them up and-"

"Oh," he chuckled and shook his head, "no, I didn't call. I mean, I tried to at first, but only got as far as leaving a message with the butler. So figured, hell, got several hours to kill before curtain time... why not take a lil road trip?"

I stared at him, eyes growing round. "Oh no."

Lea beamed, "Oh yes! We had quite the pleasant chat, your folks and I. In the... Jasmine Room I believe it was this time. It was nice. Cozy. There was even tea."

A quiet snort escaped me now as my expression softened, reaching a hand up to touch his cheek. "...that was a very sweet, not to mention a very stupid and overstepping thing to do."

"If by 'stupid and overstepping' you mean 'brilliant and endearing,' then you and I are in total and one hundred percent agreement," one side of his mouth quirked. He then puffed out a smug, lofty sigh, "What can I say, I just can't help being so awesome. Try not to swoon while in the presence of the awe-inspiring greatness that is yours truly."

I gave him a blank look. "Your lips are green."

He blinked, removing one hand from my waist to poke at his lips before pulling his fingertip away to discover it was now a delightful lime color. Then he flashed his dimple, "You say that like it isn't just another example of my awesomeness."

Biting back a small smile, I idly smoothed a thumb at the corner of his mouth. "I will say I am rather fond of the way it brings out the color of your eyes."

"Now ya gone and done it," he hugged me more tightly against him. "This moment right here? You remember it good. Now when I go and start making green lipstick my new aesthetic, just remember that it's all thanks to you telling me that."

"...fudge."

He snerked before leaning his face in closer to mine now, his breath warming my lips as he whispered, "Now whaddya say to me laying some sweet green sugar on ya, babydoll?"

I spluttered in amusement, clamping a hand over his mouth before he could finish closing the distance. "And risk you ruining my makeup even further? I don't think so. Besides, I should get back, I'm sure I must be due on stage any minute."

Pulling his face free of my grasp, he now rested his forehead to mine and nuzzled our noses together. "C'mon, you're fine. One lil smooch or two won't hurt any-"

A sudden loud, ominous crackle filled the air. We both turned our heads to discover now standing at the top of the stairs was a certain assistant director with a homicidal gleam in her eye as she held up a sparking taser. Larxene shut it off, gravely intoning, "Oh you miserable little man. How shall I fry thy lame-o ass for trespassing backstage? Let me count the ways." The taser buzzed with electricity once more.

"Gottarunbabeknock'emdeadoutthere," Lea blurted out, planting a swift peck to my forehead before bolting out the door back to audience seating so fast, you'd have missed if you'd blinked.

Leaving me to face the walking, talking electrocution chair in human form all on my own.

Gee thanks, Lea. So brave. So valiant. My hero.

The big, fat chicken.

I gulped, licking my dry lips and squaring my shoulders. "Larxene, I-"

"Will you just go get ready for your cue?" she huffed, stepping aside and gesturing with the taser for me to get a move on. "I'll chew you out after the show."

Releasing a small breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding, I nodded and ran up the steps past her. As I snatched up and put on my prop glasses, picked up the student briefcase to complete my costume and got into position just offstage, I saw that it was almost time for me to make my entrance. It was just now hitting me that I'd been so distracted by having my little chat with Lea that I'd missed out on precious panicking time. As if my body were trying to make up for it all at once, my heart rate abruptly skyrocketed, blood rushed in my ears and my knees trembled.

But beneath it all was also the teeniest flash of giddiness.

This was it.

There was no time left for freaking out or worrying about what could go wrong or stressing out about my parents being in the audience.

I tensed as I heard my cue, hesitating for a beat.

There was no time left for anything except to just go out there and get on with it.

So I did. I drew in a deep breath and took that first step out onto the stage.

I will never forget those first five minutes.

Everything about it had just been so… different. Being a lead had made it all different. The warmth radiating from the stage lights above had been different. The hush from an auditorium packed with people had been different. Even the very air itself as I'd breathed it into my lungs had felt different.

Those first five minutes would stay with me forever until the day I died. Because those five minutes had been undeniably and without question…

...the absolute worst experience of my whole life.

I'd tripped and stumbled over my own two feet. I'd forgotten simple stage directions. I hadn't talked loud enough at first. When I finally did speak up, I'd stammered through half my lines and completely skipped over others all together. At one point, I'd even accidentally said somebody else's line for them.

It'd been terrible. Simply awful. Literally a nightmare. One I was pretty sure I'd had before. One I'd kept praying to wake up from but never did. I'd wanted to run off the stage. Just flee into the night and never look back. Every last molecule of my being had been all but screaming at me to do so.

But I didn't.

Somehow - and I'm still to this day not quite sure how exactly - I'd stuck it out. I stood fast and stubbornly soldiered through it. And I'm so glad I did.

Because waiting at the end of those infernal five minutes had been my first song.

From the second those opening musical notes filled the air and hit my eardrums, everything had changed. My body began to relax as the tension eased bit by bit. For that tune had reminded me why I was here. That this is something I really, really wanted to do. Had dreamed of doing ever since I was a little girl. Suddenly it no longer mattered that there was an audience out there. It didn't matter that all eyes were on me.

All that mattered was pouring my heart into my song and giving it my all.

After that, everything suddenly seemed to just click. I knew where to go. I knew what to do. I knew what to say as clearly as if I'd had the script on a teleprompter in front of me the whole time that only I could see. I was no longer scared little Elsa trying and failing miserably at playing a role. I was that role. I was Elphaba.

And it was amazing.

Perfect, in fact.

Before long, I was singing my last song with Glinda. Before long, I was making my final exit offstage with the Scarecrow as the curtains closed behind us. Before long, I was stepping out with the rest of the cast to take our bows before the applauding crowd. And before long, it was all over and I was descending down the steps into the audience area…

...where I was immediately all but tackled to the ground by Anna, Rayne, and Xion in a vicious group hug.

"Guys, if you were trying to squeeze the life out of me, you've succeeded," I wheezed, trying to wriggle free. "It's done. There's no life left in me. Now for the love of all that is good and oxygenated, let go!"

Thankfully they released me. Ah, blessed, blessed air, how I missed thee. Xion was the first to pipe up with, "Oh my god, Elsa! You were fantastic! I had no idea you were gonna be so good!"

"Good?! Please," Anna scoffed before grabbing me by the shoulders to excitedly shake me, "Sis, you crushed it!"

"My precious bab is gonna grow up to be a star!" Rayne bawled, pinching both my cheeks.

Baby hormones. Don't mind her.

Pulling my face free of her fingers, I humored them with a shy smile. "You're all very sweet, but it's okay. There's no need to exaggerate."

Anna narrowed her eyes over a grin, "Please, don't even try to give us that BS. You were phenomenal and you know it!"

I gave her a flat look. "Oh yeah, so phenomenal. Especially those first few minutes."

"Shhhh," Xion pressed a finger to my lips with a smirk. "We pretend those minutes don't exist."

A throat cleared, causing the girls to turn and part to reveal the other half of their little group, aka the boys. Lea was front and center, one corner of his lips (oh dear lord, they were still the color of grass) twitching up as he stepped forward with a colorful bouquet in hand.

I fought a losing battle to suppress my growing smile as I took the flowers from him, not failing to notice the winter honeysuckle sprinkled into the mix. Crinkling my eyes up at him, I teased, "What a totally outdated and unnecessary gesture… thanks, I hate it."

"Liar," he snorted, slipping a hand around my waist as he pressed his lips to my hair. "Way to own that stage. I mean it, El. You kicked some serious ass up there."

Anna shook her head with a soft giggle, "That's what we were trying to tell her!"

"But the goob doesn't know how to take a compliment," Rayne tsked, flicking my forehead.

"What? C'mon, don't play coy. You know you were pure awesome incarnate, way better than that other chick that usually plays her," Lea booped his fingertip to my nose.

I suddenly felt very grateful that I was still caked in body paint. All the better to hide my blush with, my dear. I scrunched up my nose and averted my gaze, "You're just saying that because you're biased."

"Oh, one hundred percent. But doesn't make it any less true!" he chirped.

I rolled my eyes.

Time for a topic change.

"Your lips are still green."

Hey, I never said anything about it being a particularly good topic change.

"And this surprises you how? I already told ya, babycakes, this is my new brand. Speaking of, time to apply a fresh coat!" And with that, he began smothering me from temple to cheek to jaw in kisses. I squirmed, smacking him with the bouquet.

"Anyone else up for a late dinner?" Riku chimed in as he joined his wife at her side, hugging an arm around her shoulders and nuzzling her cheek before turning his gaze on me. "You must be starved after blowing away the whole audience like that."

Oh gosh, if one more person complimented me, I fear I might explode. I'd never been built to handle so much attention and praise. It made me uncomfortable and I never knew how to respond, nor did I really want it. All I'd ever wanted to was to simply put on what was hopefully at least a halfway decent show.

As the others rumbled in agreement about finding somewhere to eat that'd still be open this late, I nodded as well, "Just… give me a moment to get changed and clean off all this green."

"No no, my sweet, leave it on… for later," Lea cooed into my ear, waggling his eyebrows.

A huff of a laugh escaped me. "Now you're just making it weird."

Eyes dancing, his mouth opened to retort but before he could make so much as a sound, somebody else was interjecting with, "Pardon us."

I inhaled sharply, my spine snapping ramrod straight at that voice.

Crud, I'd completely forgotten that they were here.

Our whole group suddenly fell very quiet as all eyes turned to a nearby couple standing uncertainly off to one side, watching us all warily.

My parents.

Looking just as uncomfortable and out of place as they had before the show.

As they tentatively began to approach, Roxas and Kristoff shifted to make space for them. Their eyes settled on me at first before briefly flicking over towards Lea, who still had his arms wrapped tightly around me with seemingly zero intention of removing them, propriety be damned. I had to resist the very strong urge to clap my hand over his minty lips, abruptly very aware of the fact that that was probably what'd drawn my parents' fleeting focus to him. Thankfully, they made no comment. I'm not even sure what I would have said if they had.

Looking to me once more, Mother was finally the first to break the silence that somehow felt like it'd already been going for absolute centuries. "Elsa," she began but paused, an unsure frown in place as she seemed to search for the right words. "...you... did very well."

"Yes," Father lifted his chin slightly, the epitome of stiff politeness. "The show was… adequately entertaining."

I felt Lea's muscles go rigid beside me, could see his nostrils flaring out of the corner of my eye. I was quick to place a hand to his chest, speaking up before he could. "Th-thanks… Thank you very much," I told them softly with a small bow of my head.

They looked like they may have wanted to say more, but apparently seemed to think better of it. Instead, Father went with, "It's late. We best be off."

"See you back at home," Mother told Anna, reaching over a hand to lightly brush at her cheek. My sister's eyes darted from her over to me, then back. Then she just gave a tiny nod and said nothing as our parents turned and left.

Once they were out those double doors at the far end of the auditorium, Lea grumbled, "'Adequately entertaining' my ass… what was that bullshit?"

My gaze still on where they'd exited, a slow smile spread across my lips. "That was them trying," I murmured, glancing up at him. "I think maybe I'll give them a call tomorrow."

Author's Note: Ha! You didn't SERIOUSLY think I'd include "Wicked" in this and not let Elsa get to play the role of Elphaba, did you?! For those of you who don't know, Elsa's voice actress Idina Menzel is also famous for being Elphaba in the musical "Wicked"! So of course I couldn't let El's talents be wasted in the chorus for the entire show… our ice queen bab got her time to shine! And if how Elsa came around to getting to play the part sounds possibly far fetched, it's not as much of a stretch at it might seem! I did some research into it and it's true: it's very common in community theater to not have understudies, so if someone gets sick or otherwise can't perform, often the first place they'll look for a replacement is in the chorus! Side note: I for some reason took WAY too much joy in my stupid lil Snow White and food poisoning reference, don't ask me why xD In any case, El got to do one or two more shows as Elphaba (basically finished out that specific weekend's showings) before Snow White was feeling well enough to resume the role. But Elsa definitely had a blast and is eager to hopefully get a bigger part in whatever show her community theater decides to put on next! As for her folks, don't get me wrong, they're still in the dog house and won't be off the hook for a while yet, but the olive branch has been extended, a shaky truce has been formed and an awkward phone call is now made from time to time… for now xD Also - and this won't be any time soon, mind you - but I might have to go back at some point and write out another brief one-shot just for Lea's lil visit with El's folks where he "politely" (ha!) invited them to the show xD

Thanks for reading, I super duper appreciate it! And an extra BIG thank you to those of you who’ve liked, reblogged, and followed so far, seeing those lil notifications always brings the biggest, goofiest smile to my face!

Be back for next week's bonus chapter! In which there will be… BELLS! Do these bells have any particular significance to the plot of next chapter? Or are they just a brief prop and a red herring for this author's note? Stay tuned!

FIRST CHAPTER || PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

[gothic-safari-clown]

The Mind’s Power Over the Body

Part 8: Acceptance

Story summary: They only ever had each other. It had been that way since high school, ever since Elianna transferred to dreary Arlen and took Jonathan under her wing. They go separate ways for college, and when they're reunited at Arkham Asylum professionally, Elianna comes to find that they've both changed during their time separated. Can she look past the promise of danger and stay by Jonathan's side as they slide further and further into the darkness while she grapples to come to terms with the truth about herself? Can she accept what needs to be done in order to hold onto the only person who holds any meaning in her life? This is a very self-indulgent AU that draws from several different canons of the DCU and ignoring others, starting in the Batman Begins Nolanverse. This will follow the plot of the movie, although the timeline has been very slightly tweaked.

Part One / Part Two / Part Three / Part Four / Part Five / Part Six / Part Seven

Word count: 1986

Minutes after Jonathan left, Elianna was still staring at the wall, unable to think about anything other than the sudden and jarring conversation. She couldn't help but feel astounded that she had even agreed to what he was suggesting. Why would I do that? If she hadn't accepted his proposal, would he have gone along with the plan on his own? And what would have become of had she refused?

Her clock glared at her from its place mounted on the wall, reminding her that she didn't even have the distraction of a session to rush to. Damn it. Paperwork, paperwork, paperwork...

Finally forcing herself into action, El gathered all of her files and situated herself on the floor with them, playing music on her smartphone to help her focus. She ended up with papers stacked around her as she reorganized all of her files in an attempt to occupy her mind with something—anything—else. Honestly, there hadn't been anything wrong with the previous system in the first place, and now she was just surrounded by mess as she reshuffled the notes in each folio to justify her decision.

Two hours later, her office was spotless, and she had gone through at least three new filing systems. With nothing left to do for an hour, she found herself still sitting on the floor against her desk, desperately trying to unwind her conflicting feelings over the new situation.

She knew that she should care about the moral implications of her decision, but the more she thought, the more she realized that she just...didn't. Not for lack of trying. For God's sake, Scarecrow had gotten Jonathan to kill his granny when they were teenagers, and she hadn't even questioned it. The old woman did have it coming, just like she had thought earlier that morning, but did that way of thinking make her a bad person? She had never been one for philosophy.

And now, when the opportunity presented itself to exact horrible, torturous revenge on Victor Zsasz, she had taken it without even fully thinking through the consequences. She hadn't even been able to through her confusion. If it comes down to it, which seems likely, can I take a life the way that Jonathan did? Do I even want to?

Yes. She did. Each thing that she came to realize about herself sent El spiraling into a new set of questions. When had she become this person? Had she always been like this, keeping busy to avoid confronting that reality?

She couldn't tell how much time passed as she took inventory of herself until finally, another look at the clock told Elianna that her first session began in ten minutes; today, she had been scheduled a series of low profile patients to be seen in her office. Sighing, she finally lifted herself off the floor. She would have time to re-evaluate her life later. For now, she needed to get to work.

.xXx.

"In my opinion, Mr. Zsasz is as much a danger to himself as to others, and prison is probably not the best environment for his rehabilitation," Jonathan spoke into the mounted microphone on the stand with steady resilience. It was getting difficult for him to ignore Scarecrow, who had become practically giddy from the anticipation of getting to "play" with the newest batch of the toxin. He was almost exploding, insisting that Elianna would finally give in to her dark side.

Both Jonathan and Scarecrow had known that it was there for a long time. Jonathan had had his suspicions when he had told her about Scarecrow for the first time, and she had accepted it, and they had been confirmed after Granny's "accident," when she had helped them cover it up and had stuck around to boot.

At a glance, someone less close to the situation would say it was denial (which she was good at, apparently), but she had no qualms talking about it when the topic came up; she simply didn't care about most things that she should. She had somehow managed to convince everyone else—including herself—that she did, and that was the part that mattered.

The trial ended quickly after Jonathan's testimony. Falcone had already paid off the judge to rule in favor of whatever Jonathan said, and the rest was just formality. As such, he had already filled out all of the appropriate paperwork for the admission and transferred the deranged man to his care.

Finally, it was over, and Jonathan was on his way to the parking lot to make it back to the asylum when he was stopped by the most irritatingly incorruptible person on the planet.

"Doctor Crane," Rachel Dawes's voice rang through the courthouse lobby. Unable to ignore her, Jonathan paused to look at her, barely breaking his gait, suddenly needing to focus extra hard on keeping Scarecrow under control; he hated her as much as Jonathan did, possibly more.

"Miss Dawes," he acknowledged, having nothing else to say. That was passable as polite, wasn't it?

"You think a man who butchered people for the mob and attacked an innocent woman doesn't belong in jail?" Right to the point with this one, always so straightforward. Ambitious. If she would only take advantage of the ample opportunities that the city provided, she might even be able to make something of herself. Unfortunately for her, she didn't have the drive.

We don't need her sniffing around, Jonny. Let me take care of this now.

Not a chance, keep quiet.

"I would hardly have testified to that otherwise, would I?" Politeness be damned, the insufferable woman could chalk it up to a bad day if she wanted, just as long as she didn't notice the distaste rolling off of him in waves.

"This is the third of Falcone's thugs you've had declared insane and moved to your asylum, and the fourth time you've done so for Zsasz individually." Dear Lord, was she implying that he was corrupt? In Gotham? Never. Impossible.

"It isn't my fault if our security officers have yet to discover his means of escape. As for the rest, the work offered by organized crime must have an attraction to the insane." There, a safely noncommittal answer, and one that held basis in fact too. He turned to leave, having just about reached his limit with the conversation.

"Or the corrupt," Dawes's heels clicked on the floor as she took a few steps after him before he stopped in his tracks again. So she wasn't implying anything, just outright accusing him. Jonathan ignored Scarecrow's outraged (and far from empty) threats and caught sight of Dawes's boss in his periphery. A little childish perhaps, resorting to involving her higher-ups, but at this point, he was willing to shoot himself in the foot to avoid continuing this tiresome discussion. Interrogation, more like.

"Mister Finch," the suited man looked at the sound of his name. "I think you should check with Miss Dawes here just what implications your office has authorized her to make." That captured his attention; Finch's brows raised as he aimed a pointed look in the direction of the woman in question. "If any." That should do it.

I'm gonna get our hands on that one. Pick her brain and spit in it.

There's something we can agree on.

.xXx.

As desperate as Elianna had been for any kind of distraction earlier, each of her sessions had been more boring than the last. She was still of the opinion that people with simple anxiety disorders didn't belong in an asylum; she had half a mind to sign them all out and send them back into the world. But until she learned more, she had to operate under the assumption that they had each been admitted for a worthwhile reason; but the second she was shown any sign of real-world competence, she would sign all of them out to keep them from taking up any more space. God, what's wrong with me today?

Before she could ponder on her behavior any further, a knock on her door signaled Jonathan's return, and she let him in quickly.

"So it's...you did it then?" She asked, still unsure of how to address the situation.

"He'll be transferred back in by tomorrow."

It was done. At this point, all she could do was trust in the combined efforts of Jonathan and Scarecrow to keep her safe with some...foolproof evil plan. No matter how much she tried, she hadn't been able to bring herself to feel guilty for wanting revenge; she couldn't help feeling justification in her decision, and it was clearly justified in Jonathan's as well, and really who else mattered in this scenario? Zsasz? Certainly not.

"Okay. Well, are you alright? You seem tense." Jonathan rolled his eyes to the ceiling and shook his head.

"Everything is fine, just this...tedious woman from the DA's office tried to give me some trouble, but it's taken care of. I, ah," he checked the time on the clock, "I just need to go finish some paperwork, and then we can go back home and talk about this some more."

"Sounds good. I'm almost done here myself; when I'm finished, do you want some help?" She offered, and he seemed almost grateful for it.

"If you don't mind, I wouldn't say no."

"M'kay, then I'll see you later. Oh, wait, actually," Jonathan looked at her expectantly, unsure of what exactly she was bringing to his attention. "How often would you say security looks at the footage from our offices?" Good god that made him worry. What now?

"...Can I ask why you want to know?" She looked embarrassed, and any ideas he had had of her doing something that might incriminate them went out the window. Dear God, what now?

"I...may have been sitting on the floor for a long time today." She said sheepishly, and Jonathan pinched his eyes closed briefly before casting his gaze up, fully exasperated by the fact that she had found that important enough to bring it up right then. "And I'm a little embarrassed about it." Scarecrow, on the other hand, found it hilarious whenever El caused him even the slightest bit of undue stress.

"It's fine; they really only review the footage from sessions. I doubt anyone will even know." Elianna seemed relieved and nodded, a tiny smile at the corners of her mouth. "You still sit on the floor when you're worked up?"

"It helps me think," came the defensive response, and Jonathan gave her a look that said that he would tease her about it later, and finally turned to go.

Jonathan left her office for the second time that day. Only this time, she had finally realized that her conflicted feelings from before were due entirely to outside influence. For as long as she could remember, she had found it impossible to feel truly concerned about the things that mainstream society seemed to want her to be. Why should she try to force herself into a box that she didn't fit in? She could at least try to keep her mind open to revenge.

Elianna's hesitant resignation to her anticipation for revenge began to chase away any confused reservations that she had had before and gradually replaced them with a hazy excitement bubbling under the surface.

[nemo1230]

Delayed flights and delayed romances

Eddie was exhausted. Suddenly being hit with tons of memories about huge part of his life that had been wiped out of this mind for 27 years, reconnecting with people that had once meant the world to him, and killing a psychopathic killer clown with said people, wasn't the easiest process mentally and physically, nor was being impaled trough the stomach and bleeding out an extreme amount of blood.

So yeah, Eddie was exhausted. It has been a month of being in intense medical care, constantly being surrounded by doctors, the white of hospital walls and the extreme sterile atmosphere. Eddie was pretty sure the smell of medicine had already soaked into his pores, since that's all he could smell these days.

Usually it was fine, being enclosed within hospital walls wasn't anything unfamiliar for him yet sometimes he knew that the shortness of breath, tears that blurred his vision and the panic rising in his mind had nothing to do with his newfound wounds. He wasn't a stranger to panic attacks. He had had them for most of his life, but only now, finally piecing together the missing parts, he understood the roots of them. Finally, after so many years of constantly feeling lost and empty, like something was always missing, but never quite being able to grasp what exactly it was, he could find the explanation to so many things in his life.

For instance, now he knew why he was married to a woman that was the exact replica of his mother. He now understood why he went such extreme lengths worrying about his health. Now, he knew why there always was an empty, hollow space in his heart that he never seemed to be able to fill no matter how hard he tried. At some point he even stopped trying. He just simply let go, continuing to live on with this void, deciding that maybe, he just simply was this way, that there really wasn't any hope for him. That he was meant to lead a meaningless, insignificant life. Also, he now understood why he never in his life felt any real attraction to his wife, nor any other woman for that matter.

But now he knew. In the heat of the moment, there hadn't been much time to entrain that thought, but spending a month in a hospital really did give a lot of time to think. Especially, spending that time with Richie. Richie, trough it all, had stayed with him. The rest of the losers, after a lot of convincing had left to continue their lives. Still, it included a lot of Skype calls multiple times a day.

Yet Richie had stayed. Richie, with his stupid jokes and weird antics that Eddie still rolled his eyes at yet couldn't stop the chuckle that usually escaped him. Richie and his stupid Hawaiian shirts that he still seemed to wear despite it being 27 years passed, Richie and his face that's still as handsome as Eddie remembers it being when they were kids. And Richie and his worried, caring and desperate expression that he sometimes caught having while watching Eddie, when he taught he wasn't looking. But Eddie was always looking. He hadn't been able to take his eyes away from him, if he had to be honest.

Which he found himself doing being while sitting next to Richie in an airport, in New York, waiting for Richie's flight to LA. Once Eddie was discharged from the hospital, Richie had insisted on coming with Eddie to New York to help him. Eddie had said that he's not a baby, and he can do shit by himself, Richie had said he knows that, but he still wants to help, to which Eddie had replied that he already has helped plenty, to which Richie then had loudly said that maybe he just wants to spend more time with Eddie. And that had shut Eddie right up. And that settled it.

Richie had helped Eddie get to his home, patiently waiting outside when Eddie had gone into his house, feeling like he was willingly accepting a death sentence, to tell Myra that he wants a divorce, calmed him down in the car, and then offered Eddie to just come with him to LA. Eddie had said that he needs to think about it.

He did need to think about it indeed, because even though he had finally accepted that he was, in fact, desperately in love with Richie, he didn't want to just throw himself in this whole relationship thing. First, he had to finalize his divorce, because even though his wife was just his childhood trauma making him subconsciously seek out the very same things that had hurt him in the first place as well a result of years of trying to repress his sexuality, by law she still was his wife, so any romantic intercourses with other people would still be cheating. Then, he would probably need to find a job. And a therapist.

And also there always was the slight chance that he was reading this whole thing wrong and Richie really was just being a good friend and his actions held no romantic intent. Oh lord, Eddie really hoped that wasn't the case.

But yeah, anyway. Eddie was exhausted. He was ready to fall into a bed and sleep for days, even though that's pretty much all he's done this past month.

Richie's flights boarding was supposed to start in about 10 minutes when trough the speaker they heard a monotone voice announcing that flight number 232 Air LA to Los Angeles International airport from New York JFK, is delayed by 5 hours.

"For fucks sake, really?!"

"Are you fucking kidding me?!"

Yeah, now Eddie was exhausted and pissed. Five fucking hours? Well, technically, it wasn't his flight, he could leave any time he wanted, but well, the thing was, he didn't. He promised Richie to see him off, and he was determined to keep his promise. He didn't really know why to be fair, Richie wouldn't be angry, he even tried to convince Eddie to go home, or rather the small temporary apartment that he had rented, to rest, but he had refused. Something held him back. Something told him to stay, so he did.

They had fallen into silence after the first hour, both tired and perhaps, for the first time, they were in new territory. A still, simple moment between just the two of them, with nothing to hold them back, besides their own fears. Of course, they had been alone together plenty this last month but never really like this. Before, there always was something bigger standing in the way. Returning to Derry, Pennywise, in the hospital, Eddie’s horrible state, going to New York, Eddie's nerves about having to talk to Myra. But now? Nothing stood between them, except the obstacles they put there themselves.

They were sitting side by side, knees touching and that for some stupid reason made Eddie’s cheeks heat. What, was he in high school? Jesus.

Richie was looking at something in his phone and Eddie was reading a newspaper. Not actually reading though, because he really couldn't concentrate with Richie being this close.

The atmosphere was strained and stiff. It was like there was something both of them wanted to say, but the words were trapped between them, never being able to move forward.

He was used to feeling tense around Myra all the time, but back then, it didn't matter. It didn't matter that there were things left unsaid, it didn't matter that he, while marrying his wife, had wondered what it was like to hold another man's hand.

But now it did matter. At least to him. And a small voice inside of him told him that it did to Richie as well.

Overcome with sudden recklessness, he decided that maybe he actually could say something.   He cleared his throat. Okay. He could do this. Richie won't judge you. He might laugh a bit, but then it's fine, you can write it off as joke. It's fine.

"Richie..." He started, but my found himself unable to continue.

"Mm?" Richie mumbled, not looking away from his phone.

Maybe that's better, that he's not looking at me, Eddie thought. Eye contact always makes everything way more real.

"I.. I am, would you, that it is to say, well-"

"Dude, is Bill's stutter now contagious? Just spit it out." Richie had now paused the game he was playing and was locking his phone and finally looking at Eddie.

Eddie swallowed and mentally cursed himself. He was a 40 year old man, perfectly fine with delivering bad news to people, he was a risk analyst for god's sake, yet here he was, stuttering and not being able to even word the things he wanted to say properly. Richie was now raising an eyebrow at him, question in his eyes. "Wanna go fuck around in the shops? I'm bored out of my god dammed mind." For fucks sake.

Richie snorted, "That's what got you stuttering so hard? Eds, you secretly have a phobia of shops that you want to overcome or something? Because you have come to the right man, my dear fellow, I will show you the deep dark depths that those poor airport shops carry." He exclaimed, getting up from the uncomfortable, squeaky airport chair and taking his only luggage - quite old looking vans backpack.

Eddie shook his head, partly at Richie's theatrics and partly at himself. He could have just said something. But then again, at least, now, if Richie really hadn't been desperately in love with him since their childhood, or at least since meeting again in Derry, then they wouldn't have to spend 4 more hours in an awkward silence, or worse, Richie being accepting of him, yet gently turning him down and saying he loves him as a friend. That would be the end of Eddie Kaspbrack.

They walked through every possible shop the airport had where they were allowed to go, Richie picking up every weird object and making a stupid joke about it. Eddie joined in too.

When, 2 hours later they exited the last shop, each carrying a few bags of completely useless items, Eddie found himself panicking again. They had 2 more hours now. Perhaps he should stick to his initial plan, which is keep his mouth shut. Maybe it was better this way. And he had already made a mental list of all the benefits that would bring. His sanity however, was not one of them.

"Wanna grab something to eat, spaghetti man?" Richie's voice interrupted Eddie's inner struggles.

"Fuck you, asshole, I swear to god if you keep calling me that-"

"Spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti-"

"SHUT UP!"

They kept bickering as they reached a nearby McDonald's. While Eddie could cite reason by reason why eating there was bad for your health, he was rather hungry, and well, to be fair, a burger did sound quite good just then, after a month of eating incredibly flavorless hospital food that tasted more like cardboard than anything, really.

He ordered a BigMac and even with Richie's teasing about the irony of the word 'big' and whatnot, it was worth it, since he at least finally could actually taste the food after thinking that his taste buds really had died.

They ended up spending there almost 2 hours and would have spent more if it weren't for the security guard that had thrown them out after they had starting throwing fries at each other and Richie accidently hitting another costumer. Eddie hadn't had this much fun since their childhood.

As Eddie finished wiping his tears from laughing too much, he checked his phone for the time and his eyes widened as he realized Richie's flight was supposed to take off in 20 minutes.

"Shit, Richie your flight, we gotta run!" He exclaimed, grabbing Richie's shoulder and shaking him.

Richie cursed as well and they stared running to Richie's boarding place, bumping into other people and laughing like teenagers once again, at their reactions.

With a little searching they found Richie's terminal soon enough and suddenly were faced with the fact that they had to separate.

Richie leaned down and put his arms around Eddie, hugging him tight. Eddie immediately wrapped his own arms around Richie, placing his head on his shoulder.

This was it then. Richie was leaving and it was fine, Eddie was perfectly fine with that. He already had made up his mind, earlier that was very foolish of him to even think of confessing and ruining everything they had rebuilt in the past month from the ashes that the missed years had created.

Richie took a deep breath and then let Eddie go. "Bye, then, Eds." he said, and perhaps Eddie would have heard the sadness tainting his voice, if he hadn't been so desperately trying to convince himself and he is, in fact, fine with all of this, and no, he does not want to go with Richie to LA. Why would you think that? Absurd.

"Bye, Rich." Eddie forced a smile and watched as Richie stepped backwards, still looking Eddie in the eyes, as if waiting for Eddie to say something else. What was there to say? There really wasn't. Nothing at all.

Finally, reaching the lady who checks boarding passes he nodded at Eddie one last time, before turning around and taking out his ticket and passport.

Eddie stood there, frozen, his mind blank. Something wasn't right. Something was missing. He felt like he was standing on an edge, the way forward was foreign. The way back was familiar, fell walked in but it didn't feel right. Yes, he had been on this road all his life, yes he was existing but.. it didn't feel like...

Richie was putting his backpack on the security gates, putting his phone down.

"Attention passengers on Air LA flight 232 to Los Angeles. This is the final boarding call. All passangers, please proceed to gate 3 immediatelly. Boarding will end in approximately 15 minutes time. I repeat. This is the final boarding call, boarding will end in 15 minutes. Thank you. "

There was no way. No fucking way.

Richie was on his way to take back his backpack.

For fucks sake. There goes Eddie's well crafted, perfectly structured plan right out of the window.

He took a step forward, leaving behind the world he had known for 27 years, letting it crumble to pieces.

He took a step into the unknown, felt the blood rush in his veins, ringing in his ears.

... It didn't feel like he had been truly alive. And dear god and all heavens above, he wanted to live.

"Richie!" He screamed on the top of his lungs, making several heads of other passengers turn in his direction.

Richie, startled, turned back. "Eddie?" As he saw Eddie running in his direction, he rushed towards him as well.

Somewhere in the distance the security could be heard saying 'sir your what about your luggage’, but none of them heard.

They met in the middle, stopping only inches apart from each other, looking into each other’s eyes, both holding a deep desperation that maybe, finally, none of them could write off as anything else than what it actually was.

"I've got to say something to you," Eddie breathed, voice a bit shaky, his hands trembled and he had trouble deciding where exactly to put them.

"I think I've got something to say to you as well, but you can start." Richie replied; his voice held the very same breathlessness as Eddie.

"I.. Fuck! I'm in love you, have been since our fucking childhood, and I actually do want to go to LA with you." He finally rushed out in one breath, heart beating right out of his chest.

Eddie could see the exact moment when the words his Richie like cold water. His eyes widened, and while he perhaps, already had expected Eddie to say something along those lines, actually hearing them out loud shook him down to the very core.

"Looks like your mom and I will have to call it quits because I am too far gone for her son," Eddie rolled his eyes, Richie didn't pay any mind and continued, "I am in love with you too, Eds. And have been since our childhood as well. Well look at us, two dumbass, we could have had this-"

"Richie, I'd love to talk about this literally any another time, but right now you've got a flight that's leaving in approximately 9 minutes, so can I please kiss the shit out of you, so you can get on the plane?" Eddie interrupted Richie hurriedly.

Richie didn't seem to mind as he exclaimed rather loudly, "Oh god, fuck yes, of course you can."

Eddie immediately threw himself at Richie, smashing their lips together. Eddie seemed to have lost any self control by the entrance of the airport, as he kissed hard, not holding back whatsoever. Richie put his hands around Eddie's neck, pulling him closer, while Eddie put his around his waist, doing just the same.

Thread by thread fell apart any hesitation between them; they kissed with burning passion, breaking down all and every degrees of separation between them, years�� worth of longing clearly doing their part.

They recurrently pulled apart and panted into each others mouths, foreheads pressed tightly together. Eddie felt like maybe he had actually died and gone to heaven or something.

As Eddie willed to calm his emotions, which were going off charts at the moment, he stepped back slightly, to look Richie in the eyes. He took his face in his hands and smiled as he saw that Richie seemed to be on the same level of being absolutely wrecked, as he was.

As Eddie was about to open his mouth, to remind Richie to get in the fucking plane finally, Richie, as if reading his mind rushed to say, "Maybe I could stay? And we would fly together later? It's not like I've got anything important waiting for me there." He bit his lip, and looked at Eddie with pleading eyes.

As much as Eddie would have wanted that, he knew he had to have some time to actually get his shit together and he didn't want to put all that on Richie's shoulders. He wanted to get back on track on his own. Just with Richie by his side. Eddie smiled a small smile and signed, "Rich, you gotta go. You've already got a ticket, and I need to sort some shit out here as well. But don't you dare to worry; as soon as everything's done you bet your ass I'm going to be on the first plane over to you."

Richie looked like he wanted to argue, but then signed as well and nodded. “We better talk on the phone every single day, because fuck, if I don't hear your voice, I might go insane."

"Of course. I think it’s the same for me.” Eddie then pecked Richie on the lips and then pushed him forward, "Now go! This flight already got delayed enough; don't want to wait for the next one."

Richie stepped back and pecked Eddie multiple times until Eddie pushed him again and said a very warning "Richie".

Richie then finally made his way back inside the terminal, where a very intrigued security guard and the ticket check out lady were sitting, and upon noticing Richie returning, quickly pretended to not have seen the very dramatic love confession just now.

However, Eddie did see the small smile and wink that the lady directed at him, and he, now for tor the first time, thought about the fact that two dudes had just made out in the middle of the airport, and nobody had even really paid much mind to it. It filled him with incredibly euphoric feeling and he smiled back at the lady and then watched as Richie very hurriedly took his stuff and after blowing Eddie one last kiss, ran to his plane.

A little later, while sitting in a taxi back to his apartment, he got a text from Richie - 'made it to the plane. Missing u already xxx' and then a second one - 'cant wait to see ur dick ;)'

Eddie smiled to himself. Finally, after years in the darkness, he could see a bright future ahead of him. He couldn't wait to get to it. 

[calliecat93]

Top 15 Star Trek TOS Episodes (Part Two)

(Part One)

Continuing from the last post, here are the remaining seven episodes~! Also picking Number One was SUPER hard. I was stuck between it and two for a long while. But I finally picked, so here we go!

#7. The Trouble With Tribbles

Up to this point, I hadn’t been crazy over some of the goofier episodes of Star Trek. Shore Leave was a mindscrew that left me uncertain about what was even happening by the end, though my opinion has lightened up upon looking back. The Squire of Gothos had a villain that I found far more annoying than entertaining and it remains one of my least favorite episodes. The only more silly one I did like was I, Mudd which remains an utter laugh riot once everyone acts as illogical as possible, including Spock. But then this episode came along, and Dear Lord it is hilarious. Our heroes stop at a space station, but it’s also occupied by Klingons. But wait, it gets better! A sleezy guy convinces Uhura to buy a Tribble, these little puff ball things that are kind of cute... until they begin to reproduce so rapidly that they infest the ship and base. To put it simply, it’s not a good time for Kirk. Honestly Kirk is the best part just because of how much he LOATHES every single thing about this episode. The scene where a whole bunch of Tribbles just topple over him and he just resigns himself to his fate and later his epic death glare at Bones when he orders him to figure out what killed the things. And then there’s what makes him come aorund to them, their shared hatred of Klingons. Seriosuly, Kirk is just So Done in this episode and it is amazing~

But seriously, it’s a very entertianing episode. Far more than I thought it was going to be when I read the description. It’s not an episode taken seriosuly, but not in the ‘they just gave up’ kind of way like in certain S3 episodes. The cast seem to be legit having a fun time with this one. The brawl between Scotty, Chekov, and a few other guys against the Klingons was super fun as was Kirk sulking when Scotty revelas that he got provoked over the Enteprise being insulted and not the captain. Poor Jim XD Cyrano Jones was also just a fun delight with how scummy yet amusing he is. The scene with him and the drinks during the brawl had me laughing so much XD Seriosuly there’s just so many good moments. Spock not being immune to the Tribble’s comforting effect and being embarassed at this revelaiton, Spock and McCoy’s snark, the Klingons utter horror at the tiny little furballs, it’s just an entertaining ride from beginning to end.

Not anything to really note flaws wise to justify the ranking. It doesn’t have that emotional or philosophical umph that I normally seek out in shows like this, so it’s here at seven. But that ain’t a bad thing at all. Not every episode has to have deep meanings or complex stories. Sometimes it can just be something fun and amusing, and the effort was still there to make it entertaining. It’s one of those episodes that I would watch above the others on a bad day just so I can laugh. Probably the most fun episode I have on this list, and that’s nothing to snuff at~!

#6. The Doomsday Machine

Our heroes find a Starship where the only survivor is Commadore Decker, his crew having all been killed when he beamed them to a planet that a planet destroyer... well, destroyed shortly after. The destroyer is still active and now the Enterprise is in danger. As Kirk remains on that ship, Decker is determined to destroyt he doomsday machine once and for all, including taking command of the Enteprrise and risking their lives to do so. Yeah, this is a pretty intense one. Decker, while his sucicdal actions were wrong, is VERY sympathetic. His crew was killed through no fault of his own, the machine that did it is still loose, and the losses have left him utterly broken. He’s very much traumatized but as he is the highest ranking officer and they can’t officially prove that he’s too mentlaly unfit to be relieved (which imo is idiotic cause even someone who isn’t a psycologist can tell he’s mentally unfit, but whatever), they can’t do much to stop him. Spock DOES finally manage to do so, and it leads to Decker’s ultimate choice that leads to his tragic end.

This one really gripped me. There’s this tension throughout. We have an unstable, suicidal man taking control of the Enterprise and willing to get them all killed to stop the doomsday machine. It’s scary to see how broken the man is. Again, he’s wrong to be willing to sacrifice everyone on The Enterprise to destroy the thing even though none of them want to die, but you understand why. I mean imagine if that happened to Kirk, he’d probably snap too if his actions in Obsession is any indication of how he handles major losses like that. Then we have Decker’s final act. Once relieved of command, he steals a shuttle and goes at the machine himself. He knows that he’s going to die and accepts that fact if it means some chance, any chance of destroying the machine once and for all. While he fails to destory it, he DOES give Kirk the opprotunity needed to do so with the ruined ship. A move that almost gets Kirk killed, but still Decker’s act was not in vain. It’s a very interesting character study with themes of guilt, trauma, and desperation. Kind of like in Obsession in a way, only Kirk manages to survive and pull himself together before it was too late. Decker’s only goal was to take down the machine that took his crew’s lives, even if that meant losing his own.

As I said, these are the kinds of episodes I live for. I guess self-sacrifice is also genetic consideirng what happened with his son in The Motion Picture, haha. Flaws... ugh... I guess McCoy disappeairng after the first half sucked? But that’s a me thing that doesn’t affect anything. I just remember watching it wide-eyed despite fully well knowing that everyone I cared about were going to be perfectly fine. It really gripped me! A great episode with great character exploration and themes which for a one off character, is pretty dang impressive!

#5. Journey to Babel

Meet the parents epidsode! Yay! The Enteprise is transporting various ambassadors of various planets to the Babel Conference. This includes the Vulcan Ambassador Sarek and his human wife Amanda, aka Spock’s parents. Yep, it’s time for some good ol’ fashioned family issues! Sarek wasn’t exactly happy with Spock choosing Starfleet and their relationship has been strained ever since. But when Sarek has severe heart problems, the only way to save him is via blood transfusion with Spock the only one compatible. But to make it worse, Kirk gets stabbed and put out of comission, forcing Spock to take command... at the same time that his father needs the surgery. Yeah... it sucks to be Spock in this episode. I know that Sarek is a bit divisive, but I like Spock’s parents. Sarek comes off as good at his job, but not great as a parent. He’s far fromt he worst and we do see that he does seem to still care about his son, he’s just God awful at admitting it and his previous mistakes. Like father, like son I guess. Amanda was a delight, especially when she tells McCoy about the sehlat aka giant teddy bear. Anyone who can make Bones smile that big deserves our thanks. Spock trying to make it less embarassing only made it funnier XD But back on topic, they come off as interesitng characters. They ain’t ideal, but they seem to genuinely be in love, which is nice.

Spock was just great here as we see him in one of the roughest spots he’s been in. He’s naturally not happy about being around the father that cast him aside again, though after his heart issues it’s clear that he IS concerned. Leonard Nimoy once again does such a fantastic job at having Spock express so much but without breaking character. It’s all in the eyes and the strained tone of voice. Then when Spock is more than willing to go through with the tranfusion, Kirk is injured. He has no choice but to take command, knowing that in doing so his father will die. While he COULD give command to Scotty, with the VERY intense circumstances of an assaliant on board and a ship ready to attack wit a number of ambassadors on board, he’s the best bet in handling it. Amanda is of course upset and even smacks him which IS overly harsh, but she’s about to lose her husband and her son, despite clealry hating the fact, has to place his duty above all else. Sarek dying is the least worst outcome to everyone else being killed. It’s the most logical route. Fortunately Kirk is able to pull himself together long enough to take over and the transfusion goes through perfectly despite the fight making it more difficult. Which again, McCoy is the true MVP here for managing to pull that off successfully under those conditions and Thank God that the episode rewarded him by letting him finally get the last word. He earned that one!

It’s such a great episode for me. Family drama, Spock conflict, political tensions, and just some relaly fun bits. Seriosuly, the teddy bear bit will NEVER stop being funny. Hoenstly these last five were all pretty tight and this ende dup here cause the other four had just a little bit mroe to keep me invested for reasons. Spock and Sarek don’t really reach a resolution but we do see that it has the chance to improve, and the movies do show that Sarek DOES truly care about his son and even admits that he had been wrong. It takes a lot for a man, even a Vulcan man, to do that. Although I DID double take when I realized that Sarek is played by the same guy who did the Romulan Captain in Balance of Terror. Guess he was that good XD. But yeah, a really great episode and very much my favorite Spock-centric episode.

#4. The Empath

TRIUMVIRATE FEELS BABY~! Our heroes end up trapped by a duo of aliens and encounter a mute empath woman that McCoy names Gem. They try to figure out how to escape as the aliens known as Vians plan to use them for an experiment as they have others. Shenanigains happen while elad to Kirk getting totured p, and then given the ultimate sadistic choice in having to decide if either Spock or McCoy get tortured to the point of either death (McCoy) or permenant brain damage (Spock). Now the episode has it’s issues, like why the Vians needed to do this to decide that Gem’s people were worth saivng is..l really baffling. But I’m also not a Vian so what do I know anout their mindset? But due to those kinds of plot holes, it landed here at four. It also kind of reads like a hurt/comfort fanfic, which isn’t a surprise when you find out that this was written and submitted by a fan. Which is freakin’ awesome and I can’t complain tbh cause it’s a good hurt/comfort fic. What it fails in some plot tightning it succeeds at in emphasizing the relationship between the main trio and it’s themes of emotion and self-sacrifice. Because OF COURSE that would be relevant for these three numbskulls at some point!

The second half is really what sells it. Kirk of course can’t make a choice like that, so Bones hypos him so that he’ll be spared of it. But that means that Spock is in command and he fully intends to hand himself over to the Vians to spare the two. Just the scene where he looks at Kirk, knowing that it’ll likely be the last time he sees him and Gem touching him to feel his emotions. Her smile sums it sll up. Which sidenote, the actress for Gem was freakin’ fantastic in how she displayed so much emotion and character without saying one word. Excellent acting. Anyways, Spock’s plan seems full-proof... except that he forgot that he’s dealing with McCoy, who promptly hypos him as well and sacrifices himself to the Vians. That was when McCoy became my favorite character, the moment he chose to be tortured to near death to save his two best friends and an innocent woman and even took the time to try and comfort her before being taken away. When we see the ifnal result and are greeted to DeForest Kelley looking at the camera with the most dead expression that he can muster... yeah the image STILL haunts me. Then Bones is dying with the two unable to do anything but try to give him some comfort and Gem is just so distraught and... heah this episode mad eit this high simply because it hit the emotional beats perfectly. That’s not even going into Gem trying to heal him to drive home the themes of the episode, also done VERY well.

This episode really shows how much the three care for one another. They’re all willing to be tortured and die to spare the other two. Ultimately McCoy gets the ‘honor’, but Kirk and Spock were absolutely ready to throw themselves to the fire. The characterization, interactions, and dynamic are just done so well that it’s why I can forgive the plot issues. I’m a sucker for feelings okay?! So yeah it’s not perfect but what it got right it got right. As such, it managed to land here at Number Four with only those plot holes keeping it from Number One. And trust me, I was tempted.

#3. The Tholian Web

Season 3 hadn’t been doing it for me with only one or two episodes really getitng my attention up to that point. This one though? This was the best episode in the seaosn bar none. Our heroes end up in a subspace where they find a starship and it’s crew all dead. Whien they teleport back to The Enterprise, it disappears... and takes Kirk with it. Okay, doesn’t sound liek anythignt hat new right? Kirk goes missing, the crew have to deal without him and find him as quickly as posisble. But this one has a bit of a twist... they cut Kirk out completely. Yeah, from the moment he vanishes in the first act to the very end he is out of the episode. Not only does the crew not know what happened to him, but neither does the audience, this ramps up the fear and emotional weight big time as the longer the crew is int hat space, the influence of it drives them to insanity. Bones wants to get out because of this, while Spock is unwilling to leave Kirk if he is alive. Needles to say, things go off the rails quickly.

With Kirk out of the equation, we keep our focus on Spock and McCoy. Their arguing is probably at the most personal it’s ever been with Kirk seming dead, the crew losing their minds, and it looking more and more uncertain that they can both treat the crew and ge tout alive. While one can say that McCoy may be too harsh here, I think along with the space affecting him in a less intense way, he’s also stressed from all the patients as well as his grief about Jim. Spock is the only one that he can take it out on, especially since his chocie to not leave is why they’re now int he mess that they’re in. Spock is trying to perform his duties despite the hostilities and his own grief that he’s trying to keep a grip on with all the responsibility of the crew and whatever happens due to his choice firmly sititng on his shoulders. What finally starts to get them to resolve this? A tape that Kirk made for them in the event of his death. He gives them his confidence that they can perform their duties withiut him, but that they need to lsiten to and support each other. They CAN go on without him. It’ll hurt but they’re now all that they each have and they need to work together now more than ever. It’s a sobering moment for both with McCoy realizng how ovelry harsh he had been and Spock expressing genuine grief. They do still bicke rone more time, but McCoy catches himself before it goes too far, apologizes, and Spock simply says what Jim would: “Forget it, Bones”. Cue Bones fainting like the Southern Bell that he is, haha!

Now of course Kirk is alive and they manage to save him and get out of the situation fine. But I just loved this because of the focus on Spock and McCoy without Kirk. Why? Because Kirk is the one thing that can unite them. It’s not the only thing, but if anything can make them get over their disagreements quickly, it’s Kirk. So what happens when it looks like he’s gone and never coming back? How will the two deal with it now that that balance is gone? They don’t deal with it well, being at each other’s throats until they see that tape. But it DOES show that if they did lose Kirk, they CAN work together and go on. Like I said, I adore these two’s relationship and while not as slashy as All Our Yesterdays, this is such an excellent one for that relationship as we see that yes, they will bicker but they will also be there for each other when it all comes down to it. It’s such a great episode for that reason and the plot was just well done. Like I said, casitng out Jim and leaving us unsure of what happened to him was an excellent move for this one and I enjoyed the exploration that it allowed.

#2. The Immunity Syndrome

Out heroes are scent to investigate what caused a whole solar system to disappear just as they also receive a message from a Vulcan science vessel. Unfortunately, Spock senses he vessel’s destruction and the Enterprise finds itself against a giant space amoeba that will devour everything unless stopped. That may not sound like much, but it leads into what I think was the most intense situation that the Enterprise has been in. Everything, and I mean everything, is pushed to their limits here. This amoeba can outright destroy galaxies and utterly mindless, so there’s no reasoning with it. But it gets especially tense when, in order to understand exactly what’s going on, Kirk has to send someone in the space shuttle to observe, but in doing so, he’s sending someone to most likely die. And his choices? Either Spock or Bones... yeah.

This is what makes this episode great. Spock and Bones are already on rockier than usual terms due to McCoy treating the Vulcan deaths more like a statistic while Spock sensed all of it outright. That itself is an interesting observation on how we treat these kinds of things, not really understanding how horrific it is unless we’re involved in it outright, otherwise it’s sad and unfortunate but just another number. But then we have the suicide mission. Bones originally volunteers himself, after all he’s a doctor and would have the knowledge to make the necessary observaitons and likely the most fit for it. But Spock is not only also perfectly capable even if not specialized in medical science, but he’s also more fit physically and emotionally to undergo the risk and come out alive. In the end, Kirk picks Spock and McCoy ain’t happy about it. The scene with Spock about ready to go with McCoy still unhappy even when Spock asks him to wish him luck. He does... once the doors have shut and Spock can’t hear him anymore. It’s a very strong scene and it only gets more painful when it looks like Spock is truly going to die and his final words are that McCoy should have wished him luck. Bones’ face says everything.

The episode is just excellent. Great character moments. Great emotional weight. Great stakes that keep going up and up and it truly feels like the darkest hour for the crew. Kirk and Spock outright begin to record their respective final words. Even they’re convinced that this is most likely the end, which is just... dang man. I couldn’t look away during this one. They hit everything perfectly with pretty much everything. If I have any issues, none of them come to mind. It’s just an excellent episode and the best of Season 2. I had a REALLY hard time picking between this and my Number One for the top slot. The top one just had a little bit more emotional impact to get it, but it just barely topped this one. Regardless, it is still an excellent episode and one of the best by far. But what is Number One? Well...

#1. The City on the Edge of Forever

Yeah, yeah, obvious pick I know. I normally don’t go wth popular opinion... but sometimes it’s that way for a reason, and this one I can’t argue about. When McCoy gets badly drugged on accident, he goes into a derranged state and beams onto a planet. The crew is unable to stop him from entering a portal known as the Guardian of Forever that sends him into the distant past where he does something to change histry. In order to figure out what changed and to stop McCoy, Kirk and Spock travel into the 1930’s a few days earlier to cut him off and must now navigate their way though the time period where they end up at a soup kitchen run by a woman named Edith Keller. Which Edith is an excellent character. She’s kind, optimistic, charming, hard-working, ad caring towards those who need it. Kirk ends up falling for her, and... it’s legit really cute. Kirk isn’t being forced to make out with a woman or doing so for information. We see how Kirk is when he genunely likes someone, having been drawn to Edith’s optimism and hopes for a better future. A future that he is from and knows will be reality. He’s really sweet and it’s just cute... which makes what happens at the end all the more tragic.

The 1930’s were fun with Kirk trying to come up with an excuse for Spock’s ears having me dying from laughter. The acting was excellent with DeForest Kelley as drugged!Bones especially being both crazy and scary. I quit doubting that he played villains in Westerns after this episode, haha. But of course Spock soon discovers that the change that McCoy is to make is saving Edith form death, and in doing so she leads a pacifist campaign that delays America’s entry into World War II and... well, things go badly. They are in a time where sadly optimism and peace are simply not options, which is even crueler. In order for time to be restored, they have to let Edith die. Kirk is horrified by this and when the time comes (sidenote, the Triumvirate reunion is utterly adorable), he just grabs Bones, keeps his back turned, and can only listen as Edith screams and is killed via car colission. Whatever grievances I have about William Shatner, he absoluteley nailed Kirk’s utter heartbreak and pain as Kirk just looks utterly boken. His final wordds after they return to the 23rd Century simply being a bitter “Let’s get the Hell out of here” sums it all up perfectly. Bones’ horror at it, especially since he DID have to watch it and him being upset at Kirk is also heartbreaking as he asks him if he knows what he just did. Spock can only somberly inform him that yes, he does.

It’s one of those cases where I wish serialization was more of a thign cause DAMN this is some major emotional baggage for everyone but as per usual. It happens and they go on from there with no lingering development. I guess if I had to complain, that would be it but that’s jut the nature of these shows at the time. Kind of feel like Bones getting as bady overdosed as he did pretty much got forgotten after they enter the 1930’s, but I also know nothing about 23rd Century drugs so... ah well. But the rest of the episode is so good that I can forgive those issues and they clealry did nothing to impact the placing. It had a storgn story, great emotion, great acting, great pacing, and a heartbreaking but fitting ending. The episode has a LOT of history behind it’s making that could be a post all it’s own, but no mater how this episode came to be, it is very much the best of Star Trek TOS. It was fun yet sad and had me gripped form beginning to ed and just htinkign about it now still makes me sad. Thus, it earns it’s place as my favorite episode of Star Trek TOS.

And we are done! There were a lot of really good episodes and some i REALLY did consider. A Piece of the Action, The Enemy Within (that was skipped for... certian reasons), Is There in Truth No Beauty?, This Side of Paradise, and plenty of others that I enjoyed. There were others I.. well, didn’t, but I can’t recall outright hating anything. Regardless I came in apathetic at best, and I left a fan for it’s characters, interesting ideas, and I just had a lot of fun. It’s outdated in many ways, but still relevant in others. Overall, I’m glad to have finally watched it, and I hope that I enjoy TNG just as much. But if not, I’ll always have this~!

(Image Source: TrekCore TOS Gallery)

[lady-divine-writes]

Campaigning for Peace (Rated T)

With the fate of the world in the hands of a demon, an angel, two ex-antichrists, and a defunct computer engineer, sometimes decisions come down to the roll of a die. (1503 words)

Written for @drawlight ‘31 days of ineffables’ prompt ‘chestnuts’. All humor. Completely tongue in cheek. Don’t take anything seriously. One suggestive remark at the end.

“No.” Crowley snatches the tanned parchments from a baffled Newt and rolls them into a tight coil, eyeballing the young man with open and palpable disgust.

“What do you mean no?” Newt counters, brow furrowed, angrier and more confused than their party has ever seen him.

“I mean no.” Crowley shoves the parchments into a duffel sitting beside him and pulls out, instead, a leather-bound text. “One word, two letters, very simple concept to grasp … for most people.”

“But … you’re not even willing to try?” Newt’s voice rises sharply, his gaze darting from the demon’s inscrutable eyes to the black canvas bag by his thigh. It’s only pulled closed, the scrolled parchments nestled within out of Newt’s reach, peeking through a slim gap mockingly.

“That’s what no means, boy.” Crowley flips through the pages of the book, perusing the text with dramatic intensity to show he’s moved on from this argument. Other eyes gauge Newt’s reaction – with sympathy, with understanding, with ridicule and sly grins.

Newt knows he’s being watched, and his face burns because of it.

“You … are … infuriating!”

“So I’ve been told, and by better men than you!”

“Hey, hey, guys!” Adam intervenes in an attempt to calm soaring tempers. “Arguing helps no one but the enemy,” he reminds them, though he already has numerous times to no avail. “What if we go in a different direction and I wield the flaming sword?”

Crowley’s eyes snap his way. A fire behind them burns dangerously, his slit pupils going paper thin, telling Adam he’s overstepped his bounds. “Oi! No! That’s Aziraphale’s weapon!”

“But he’s not here!” Adam protests. “And it’s the most powerful weapon we’ve got right now!”

“Don’t matter! No one but Aziraphale touches that sword! End of discussion!”

“I think you may be projecting on that sword a bit too much,” Adam mutters under his breath, double checking to ensure Crowley didn’t hear. He doesn’t doubt the accuracy of his remark, just the timing. Crowley’s eyes have begun to turn from their usual venom yellow to a dark, fiery orange – something Adam has only seen once before.

Needless to say, things didn’t end well that day.

“I have another idea,” Newt ventures even though no one asked and no one intended on asking. “What if I seduce him?”

Crowley and Adam’s heads whip around, both demon and ex-antichrist staring at him strangely.

“What?” Adam croaks. “Why!?”

“You know … as a distraction.”

“You? Ssseduce the Lord of Hell?” Crowley nearly chokes on his bifurcated tongue. “That’sss rich! If you work your mojo the sssame way you work a computer, we’ll all be turned to flaming goo, ssswimming in our own intestinesss!”

“Cool!” Warlock pipes up from behind the screen of his 3DS. He glances up when the group goes silent, staring his way with varied expressions. “I mean … yuck,” he corrects, shaking his head in fake contrition. “Don’t want that. Nope. Not at all.”

“Excuse me,” Newt starts haughtily when he notices Crowley’s smug smile in Warlock’s direction. “What exactly is your contribution? Besides playing video games and making sarcastic remarks, that is?”

“Oh, I have no contribution,” Warlock replies without looking up.

“Then what are you doing here?”

“I was an antichrist, too, you know. Probably more of an antichrist than Adam here. Raised by an actual demon, I was. I’m waiting for you all to die so I can step over your corpses and take over. Rule the burning pile of intestinal soup.”

Adam shakes his head, but he can’t help the grin he has for his unlikely friend. Crowley’s smug smile becomes positively effervescent.

Newt rolls his eyes. “It’s good to have goals, I guess.”

Bells jingle in the distance.

An alert! Someone else has entered the field!

But it's not a hostile, so no one pays it any mind.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Fell!”

Aziraphale, reading his newspaper at his desk a short distance away from the heated debate, looks up at the voice he’s been expecting for the better part of the afternoon. “Tracy, my dear! I’m so glad you could make it!”

“It has been a while since I could come over for tea,” she says, embracing the angel when he stands to greet her. “I’m looking forward to making up for lost time.”

“My goodness! Is it still snowing outside?” Aziraphale asks when Tracy removes the hood of her pink peacoat and a generous dusting of flakes falls to the floor.

“Just a bit, just a bit. None of it’s sticking though so that’s good news. The cold’s more a bother than anything. Brr!” She shivers out of her damp coat. Aziraphale hangs it up on the coat rack to dry. “That wind goes right through you! But it’s nice and toasty in here, isn’t it?”

“No, no, no!” Crowley roars, pointing emphatically at the book spread open in front of him. “We might as well just start launching flaming food stuffs at them then!” He chortles so loudly and with such an edge, it makes everyone, including Aziraphale, jump. “That’s what we’ll do! Take down the whole horde with flambes and hors d’oeuvres! Lump in some chestnuts while we’re at it! That’ll do just as well than your asinine idea!”

“I still think seducing him …!”

“Will you get off it, you dolt! It’s never going to happen!”

“How do you know!?”

“H---h---how do I … how do I know!?” Crowley sputters, gesturing at himself in disbelief. “Because I’m a bloody demon! I’ve lived under Satan’s rule for thousands of years and let me tell you, you’re not his type!”

Tracy listens, hands wringing out the chill, her grip tightening as the conversation continues.

“What … what’s going on?” she asks nervously. “Are they …” She swallows hard, a flashback from months prior zipping through her thoughts like a bullet train, speeding her heartbeat and rendering her momentarily breathless “… preparing for another Apocalypse?”

“Not at all, dear! Now at all! They’re playing some fool game called … uh … Prisons and Lizards, I think.”

“Dungeons and Dragons, angel,” Crowley corrects alongside a put-off, soul-wrenching sigh.

Aziraphale points at his exasperated husband. “That’s the one.”

“It looks like they’re taking it rather seriously,” Tracy says, quietly accepting Aziraphale’s offer of a seat.

“Oh, yes. They’re quite involved.”

“Do you ever join them?”

“Oh, I’m a part of their campaign, as it were,” he explains, forgoing the tea and bringing out a bottle of his best brandy. “In absentia.”

“That doesn’t sound like much fun.”

“Ha! Fun!? Let me tell you a thing about fun!” Aziraphale has to steady his hand while he laughs so not a single drop of alcohol hits the table instead of Tracy’s glass. At times such as these, it would be a sin to waste good brandy. “With the Dowlings gone away on vacation and leaving Warlock with us, and Newt having some kind of existential slump, this lot has started hanging around my bookshop 24/7, and I haven’t gotten a moment’s peace! Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy their company, but it can be a bit …” He clears a collection of less socially appropriate modifiers from his throat and goes with “… much.”

“It does seem a little crowded in here.”

“Yes, well, there’s usually more of them, so this is a refreshing change.”

“I notice Anathema isn’t here,” Tracy remarks a tad judgmentally, scanning the shop just to be sure she’s not hiding between the stacks, rifling through Aziraphale’s older tomes in the occult section.

“Exactly. With her fiancé here, she’s enjoying some much needed peace and quiet. Getting some work done. And I don’t blame her. But that means I’ve been tasked with babysitting. With the boys wrapped up in that game, this is the first chance I’ve gotten to read my newspaper cover to cover. Later on, I’m going to try my hand at actually finishing a crossword puzzle!”

“You sound excited,” Tracy teases.

“I am, dear! I am!”

“You’re ridiculous!” Newt crows, slamming a hand on the table. “All of you! Ridiculous! I don’t even know why I’m still talking to you!”

“The feeling’s mutual!” Crowley retorts, spiking Aziraphale’s brain with a perturbing sense of déjà vu.

“Acid slugs it is,” Adam declares, picking up a large, multi-sided die and offering it to Warlock.

“Nah.” Warlock dismisses the die with a shake of his head. “Still waiting on that sweet intestinal soup.”

Aziraphale raises his glass. “It may not be quiet, but it is peace.”

“Or something like it.”

“Cheers.” Aziraphale bobs his glass Tracy’s way in a meager toast, closes his eyes, and indulges in a longer than normal first sip. When he opens his eyes again, Tracy is grinning at him like a mad cat. Aziraphale frowns self-consciously. “What?”

“So, if you’re babysitting, that makes you something of a father figure. Yes?”

“I suppose so,” Aziraphale admits with a heavy sigh.

Tracy leans in. “Does that mean Crowley gets to call you daddy?”

Aziraphale’s eyes pop. Seconds later, he snorts into his brandy. “Hush you!”

[cebinaruavin]

Truce

((Story co-written with @thefugitivemango / @lordbeyron. @pariker / @inathia​ / @phoenixguard​ for mention.))

~*~*~

Cebina waited in the foyer as Bey’ron finished his bath. She took her time to stroll around the room, picking out her favorite wine and helping herself to a glass. She sat herself down comfortably in one of the large lounge chairs, sitting back and crossing her legs. 

She’d always enjoyed her time spent in the manor, as short as that time was. Bey’ron had good taste in lavish decor, always ready to entertain guests. She sometimes wondered if he expected Lor’themar himself to show up at his doorstep. Even the room he’d given her to stay in had been one of the fanciest she’d ever had. A shame that didn’t last. They’d worked well together, the two of them, before her switch to the void and exile.

Water under the bridge now, as it were. The war between Alliance and Horde was over now. While Cebina’s presence still wasn’t welcomed in Quel’Thalas, travelling there was no longer as big of a risk; as long as she suppressed her Void powers and kept out of sight, of course.

She swirled the wine in her glass and sniffed the bouquet before taking a sip. Yes. She’d certainly missed this.

Her presence wasn’t lost on Bey’ron; nothing happened in his manor that he didn’t know about. Eyes everywhere… but he figured Cebina knew that as well. He cut his bath short as he sensed her presence once more in his house. While he didn’t feel in danger of anything she might do, his trust in her certainly took a dive following her last big revelation. He dried and dressed himself casually, paced calmly as he always did, before stepping into the room.

“Pour one for me too, hmm?” he instructed, nonchalantly.

Cebina smiled from her spot on the chair moving her hair over her shoulder to show off more of her chest. A natural reaction for her, even though she knew it had no effect on Bey’ron. She pointed towards the counter, where a second full glass of wine sat waiting for him.

“Way ahead of you, Sweetie,” she hummed, “How have you been, Bey Bey?”

“Mm… considering my home’s been invaded,” he narrowed his eyes at Cebina, “not terrible.”

He scooped his glass from the counter, swirling it gently as he approached the Ren’dorei intruder, uncertain at what brought her here. To gloat more, perhaps? He didn’t think she would have come here to kill him… but then the void did alter one’s mind, didn’t it? How far had her dark studies taken her…?

“Why are you here, Cebina?” he asked, bluntly, tone indicative he wasn’t interested in going through the usual foreplay. “Haven’t you caused me enough of a headache already?”

Cebina raised a brow as he skipped over the pleasantries. That wasn’t like him at all! Had the Knight Lord’s absence affected him that much? Had he actually cared about her? 

“Oh, Bey Bey, you know me. I only specialize in making people feel -good-. You won’t find any trouble coming from me. Unless... that’s what you’re looking for.”

She tipped her head back, taking a long sip of the wine from her glass.

“But, if you insist on getting straight to business, so be it. As you know, the war between Alliance and Horde has come to an end. While I’m aware my people are still shunned for our superiority, at least my presence here is no longer considered an act of war. With the armistice signed between the Alliance and Horde, I was hoping you and I could work out something similar. Past mishaps now water under the bridge, as it were, hmm?”

She took another sip, allowing Bey’ron some time to digest the information.

Bey’ron rolled his eyes. It felt good not to have to try and hide the expression, as he normally had to do in the Council chambers when some pompous nobleman spouted similar nonsense. “Superiority,” indeed. He scoffed, accenting the eye rolling to better convey how unimpressed he was by Cebina’s notion.

“You want back in, is that it? Tired of the humans already?” he smirked, throwing a light jab of his own. “If your kind are so superior, surely you wouldn’t feel a need to reestablish any manner of connections here. Armistice or not.”

He knew well why she’d returned now, of all times. The Armistice might have been a part of it, but Bey’ron had long suspected that Cebina had ties to the Twilight’s Hammer cult. A cult without any more Gods to cling to, as of late. No, he knew Cebina was only here playing nice because she’d lost a large chunk of support. A loss she hoped to make up for here.

“You’re after the arrangement I offered when I first dismissed you and your ‘superiority’, Cebina. And instead of keeping things pleasant between us, you opted instead to lash out.” he scolded her, still swirling his glass of wine. “What changed? Why are you suddenly so interested in rekindling our friendship, hmm?”

Cebina giggled, waving a hand in a dismissal of his words.

“Sweetie, please! Did you go soft while I was away? We were never friends, and you know it. Work partners, yes. Allies, yes. But don’t go pretending it was anything more than that.”

Her void filled gaze met his as she leaned forward in her chair.

“You know as well as I do that knowledge is power. And even the more superior of us need allies, especially in times of peace. Don’t you agree?”

His ear flickered; she was right. They were never really friends… so why did he phrase it in such a manner? Had loneliness tugged him off course of his goals? Had losing Ina’thia made him soft? His frown turned to a scowl at Cebina. Seeing her again had brought out many reminders of the past… including his dedication to his ambitions.

“Hmph. You’re splitting hairs. ‘Friendship’, as a generalized term of working well one with another. As in… not sabotaging one another’s projects.” Bey’ron snapped, fel flames in his eyes burning a little more intensely. “You’re reaching out for a hand you bit, Cebina. And you bit it hard. I had plans for the Phoenix Guard, and you crippled it. Killed it! Did you think I’d be so quick to forgive your childish maneuvers? Perhaps I have been too soft, letting a treacherous Old God underling like you breathe another breath of my Eversong air!”

He tossed his undrunk glass aside, letting it shatter in the corner. Portals began to open up all around the two elves, pouring chittering laughter and aggressive growls into the chamber from whatever dark dimensions lay beyond them. Demonic eyes peered in from the room, all fixated on Cebina. But nothing emerged… yet.

“Give me one good reason, Little Bird, why I should take you back.”

Cebina remained unfazed at Bey’ron’s show of force, her eyes glimmering with pride as they continued to burn into his. Her smile widened. 

“Because,” she stated simply, “You need someone to keep you on your toes.” She got up from the chair, letting her form fitting skirt brush the floor as she paced slowly.

“You’ve gone soft, Bey Bey. What I did was nothing compared to what your dear Knight Lord put you through, I’m sure. You let your guard down with her, didn’t you? Made yourself vulnerable. Now look at you, sulking in your manner and trying to pick up the pieces of what she left behind. Look at who you’ve surrounded yourself with. All soft.”

She stopped pacing a few feet in front of him, knowing well not to get too close to the Magister.

“Face it, Sweetie. You need me a lot more than I need you right now. You know it. And that is why you’re throwing this little temper tantrum, isn’t it?”

Bey’ron’s scowl turned to a smirk. He chuckled at Cebina, folding his arms behind his back as he did. The portals held position, though the snarling from within softened… yet the chittering laughter grew a bit more as if to join their master.

“Oh, I need you, is that it? That’s why you came here, then? You sensed how much I needed you? So you snuck in, seeking to restore our amicable arrangement? How kind of you, Little Bird.” he laughed on, tone clearly mocking. “You may be right; I’ve relaxed quite a bit, following your little stunt, and Ina’thia’s departure. You’ve done well in reminding me of that, tonight. But frankly… I can think of no other use I’d have for you. You think too highly of yourself if you presume you’re the only one who can, as you put it, ‘keep me on my toes’, hmm?”

A worthy attempt, he had to admit. But his wit hadn’t dulled quite that much since last they spoke. Cebina wouldn’t have come here just to rekindle a relationship unless she had something specific to gain in doing so. She’d caught him in an emotional state-- which was to say, she caught him actually feeling emotions. But that alone wasn’t her purpose in coming to him now. It seemed they ended up dancing around the heart of the matter, after all.

“Let’s try this again, shall we?” he straightened, brow askew. “Why are you here, Cebina?”

“Hmm, much better,” Cebina grinned, “There’s the Bey-Bey I know! Don’t worry, I have no intentions of returning to Silvermoon or messing with whatever you’ve got going on with your little friends.”

She sauntered back to her chair, taking a sip and getting comfortable once more, pulling the skirt of her robes up to expose her thighs as she crossed her legs.

“I need a contact to keep me up to date on the going ons of Horde politics, as it were. In return, I’ll be certain to forward any information I come across from the  Alliance side. I’ve gotten quite close with some of the higher up politicians in Stormwind. In short, you have your goals and I have mine. As long as those goals don’t go against each other, there’s no reason we can’t go back to being respectful associates.”

“Mm, that depends entirely on what your goals actually are, doesn’t it?”

The Magister returned to the counter, and retrieved another glass since his last one broke. He didn’t bother glancing over to where he’d thrown it; it was already cleaned up anyway, the work of some Imp while no one was looking. He filled his new glass with wine, before turning back to his guest.

“It also depends on what manner of information you can provide. I’ve already arranged a few eyes and ears among your Alliance’s political players, and they’ve done well in feeding me useful little tidbits.” he explained as he, too, finally took a seat in a chair adjacent to Cebina’s. “I suppose you think you could do better, though? Provide me with more exclusive information?”

He grinned at the Ren’dorei.

“Let’s hear a sampling, hmm?”

“Oh, darling… you have NO idea.���

Cebina moved her hand, opening it palm up as a small void tear opened up just above it, depositing a scroll into her hand. She’d worked with Bey’ron long enough to know he wouldn’t take her at her word. He was MUCH smarter than that; one of the things she rather liked about him. Of course he would demand proof that she could procure information more valuable than his own men could gather. 

She held the parchment out for him to levitate over.

“I’ll let you read for yourself. Human men are simple creatures, and SO predictable, especially when it comes down to interacting with exotic women,” she grinned, tilting her head up proudly, not a hint of shame of how she used her body, “I think you’ll enjoy these little tidbits, especially certain secret outings the King has been making.”

The Magister couldn’t hide the intrigue on his face, as he read the scroll over. It was a mixed bag, certainly, with some bits of information much more useful and actionable than others. For now, anyway; Bey’ron learned long ago that sometimes the most innocuous details can bridge gaps in some of the darkest secrets. These outings of the Alliance’s Boy-King that Cebina alluded to, for example… they meant nothing for the moment. Just a piece of a puzzle Bey’ron could use later, when he found where it fit.

But he wasn’t going to tell her that.

“... Hmph. I suppose these have some merit.” he commented; such words meager approval from some, but high praise when coming from his lips. “If I did, perhaps, have use for information you’re willing to bring, what exactly would you wish in return? Bearing in mind, I am not as prone to betraying my kingdom as--”

He paused, gaze tracing over Cebina in silent judgment. A less-than subtle jab. He allowed the parchment to roll up once more, curling by virtue of having been rolled up before. He held it upright as a small portal opened above it-- and a tiny pair of imp hands reached down to snatch it away absconding with the paper to Sun-only-knows where.

“... Others.” he concluded his thought, smirking.

“Of course, of course,” she waved a hand, not seeming the least bit insulted by what Bey’ron insinuated.

Cebina had always joined causes out of convenience. She’d joined a number of houses and organizations during their rise, only to move on to another as she sensed they were about to fall. Her entire life had been about taking what she needed to further her own goals. Now wasn’t any different. She knew it. Bey’ron knew it. There was no point in pretending she ever cared for Quel’Thalas.

“Ever the loyalist, I remember. I would never ask you to betray your kingdom, Bey-Bey. I have no interest in playing with Sin’dorei affairs. However, a man of your elite stature certainly has spies dispatched throughout the other factions of the Horde, hmm? All I’m asking in return is that you share that intelligence with me.”

Bey’ron contemplated for a moment, eyeing Cebina over scrutinously. He was torn; at what point did benefiting the Void Elf become endangering the High Kingdom? It was easy to work with her before, when their goals coincided often. But he couldn’t imagine an instance where they would, now. The value of even small details cut both ways. What could he tell her that wouldn’t potentially come back detrimentally to Quel’Thalas? The secrets she was willing to share were, indeed, valuable to him. But at such a cost…?

No, the payoff was far greater than just a few meaningless details shared between the two. A truce was at stake-- a partnership with Cebina made her an ally once more, rather than the spiteful enemy she’d proven to be otherwise. It was a dangerous gambit, indeed. But he knew it was more beneficial to bring her to heel with a few tasty morsels of information than to let her run wild and lash out. 

“Mm. So be it.” he nodded, with a smirk. “We’ve worked well together in the past. If you’re ready to do so again, it would be in poor form for me to deny you the pleasure.”

He raised his glass to Cebina; a toast to seal the deal, and rekindle their partnership. It felt like the right move; after all, you keep your friends close.

And your enemies closer.

~*~*~

[altaruwusmolboiz]

Not a choice, not a sin

It’s more of the Altar Boyz fighting homophobia from Matthew’s POV. Mostly Matthew but the other Boyz are in it too.

“Mark, are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be? You’re the bruised one.”

I sighed and touched my right eye, black and blue. “I’m okay, Mark. I don’t regret a thing.”

I left the stage, somehow feeling stronger.

***

So, how did it all happen? Why did we have to stop the show early? Well, it was my fault.

Confession session is often my favorite part of the concerts. It was always so nice giving advice to people who need it. Telling them their sins are forgiven, or saying that what they’re confessing too isn’t a sin at all.

That night was the latter.

“Last confession of the night.” Matthew took out the last yellow slip of paper. “This confession is from Abigail.”

“Such a beautiful name, Abigail.” Juan stepped foward, looking around for someone who looked like an Abigail. “Very pretty. A name for a pretty girl.”

“Okay! Juan!” Abraham stopped him before he started insulting audience members (He does that a lot. He called one guy something in Spanish that no one could translate, but they knew wasn’t good).

“Dear Boyz, I came to this show today with a friend. We’ve been friends ever since kindergarten, when she gave me her pencil. Granted, that pencil was bloody and low quality.”

“Your friend gave you a bloody pencil?” Luke asked. “Yuck!”

“No, Luke.”

As Abraham explained to Luke what he meant, I continued to read through the confession. Spoiler alert: It’s touching how sweet this girl is.

“See, but I’ve liked her for a really long time and I’m considering asking her on a date. She’s my everything, but God says it’s a sin. What should I do? Signed, Abigail.”

I’ve gotten plenty of confessions like these. Boys saying they were born as girls, vice versa, people saying they never wanted sex as a whole, and anyone saying they want to get into a relationship with someone who isn’t the same gender or sex as them. I always end up saying a pretty similar thing: If it’s not a choice, it’s not a sin.

“Hey, where’s Abigail?”

A redhead girl with freckles from up in the balcony stood tall.

“Where’s your friend?”

Abigail pulled up a shorter girl with dark skin.

I saw them holding hands. Abigail’s confession must have got them together.

“I hope you girls have a happy relationship.” I said.

Cheering erupted. I don’t understand why I’m getting cheering when I’m just doing what I should be doing. Congratulating a hopefully happy couple.

“Here’s how I see it. Would you have chosen to like women if you could?”

Abigail nodded, as teary eyed as Mark, a boy from my band right next to me. Mark’s sensitive, especially with that kind of stuff.

“So, if you did not choose it, then why would it be sin? If you did not choose to go inside a stranger’s car, would it be your fault if you were kidnapped?”

Abigail seemed to mumble something.

“Love isn’t a sin. Otherwise, we wouldn’t love. Let’s give it up for Abigail!”

Cheering was present again, including cheering from the other four boys, Luke’s being the loudest.

I, as well as everyone else in my band, have seen tons of people exit, and that’s disheartening for the boys as a whole. But I never saw this many people leaving.

“Why are they leaving?” Abraham whispered. After a few quick seconds of thinking, he went “Oh.”

“This isn’t fair!” Luke said, maybe a little louder than he should have.

“It isn’t Luke.” I agreed. “But, sometimes that’s what happens.”

“I thought everybody fits.”

I turned around, seeing Mark. I can’t imagine how hard this must be for him, who was squeezing his left arm. I gestured for him to hug me, because I know he loved doing that. He’s such a sweet boy, he did not deserve any of this.

“It’s okay, Mark.” I said, the second he got into my arms.

No wonder Mark hasn’t told many people he was gay, not even me or any of the other Boyz (I assume). It’s kind of taboo in our religion. There’s no reason for it to be. Aren’t we supposed to be the ones who accept everyone?

“Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve never had this many people leave a show before.”

“There’s a reason they did.”

The voice wasn’t coming from the stage, rather the left of the theater.

“I beg your pardon?” Juan asked.

“You think people are going to stay here if you keep promoting the homosexual agenda? I don’t want my kids to see that?”

“Um, I’m sorry. Please leave if you want to. No one is stopping you.” Abraham responded.

“Actually, we’d prefer it.” Juan added, glaring directly at the man, who was about ten years older than I am.

“Oh, I brought my kids here to hear family friendly songs about Christianity, not to hear about all of this gay stuff.”

The guy continues to walk on the theater.

“Security?” I ask. Not a single person responds. What happened to the decent security?

I knew I should calm myself down before it was too late.

“Hey, please get off the stage. You said it was reasonable for people to leave, so go do that.” Luke defended Abigail.

Mark was silent for all of this (Figures. Matthew would be too, if he was in this situation), and it seems like the dude started to pick up on it.

“I’m not here to see gay guys dance and sing, especially not obvious ones like him.” He says, pointing at Mark. He responds by crossing his arms, trying to look though but failing.

“I’m not gay... or anything like that, no.”

“Well, then stop acting like such a queer.”

Mark backed away, and I saw Abraham comfort him.

I couldn’t handle my frustration anymore. Mark has done nothing wrong, besides what? Dance? Have an innocent although kind of obvious crush on me? So does at least half of the girls in this audience. Mark’s not different.

“You are nothing but a coward. Get off of this stage, or I’ll push you off.”

He responds by punching me.

“Matt! Matt! Are you okay?” -Abraham

Just a black eye, at most. I’ll survive.

“You did the right thing, buddy. You did the right thing.” -Juan

I guess I did, but it’s hard sometimes.

“Yo, are you dead?” -Luke

I’m not dead, Luke, but thanks for being concerned.

“I’m sorry. This is all my fault.” -Mark

Mark, I don’t want you thinking for a second that this is your fault. You did nothing to deserve any of this.

***

“Matthew?”

“Yes?” I turned back at Mark.

“Thank you. Thank you so much.”

“Hey, it’s no big deal.”

The homophobic guy got arrested, thank the lord. The lord wouldn’t want this, at least that’s what I think.

I have to do some community service, but I don’t mind. So long as my friends know they can be themselves around me.

[ladyreapermc]

Fic: Graham Norton (Keanu x F!Reader)

Summary:  based off Keanu’s first appearance in Graham Norton and the ‘I never’ bit.

Pairing: Keanu x F!Reader

Author’s Notes: So this has been sitting on my laptop for a while. I’m not all that happy with it and Keanu went so ooc in this, but that the hell! I’m gonna let you guys be the judge of it! Thank you @caryled​ for being my beta on this.

Wordcount: 2485

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol, but otherwise pretty safe.

You’ve spent months saving money for this trip because it was your dream. You didn’t even remember when you started wishing you’d spend one of your birthdays in London, but it was finally happening now, on your twentieth-first. You thought it was fitting - such a momentous occasion marked by the trip of your life.

You and your best friend Sadie arrived a couple of days before New Year’s Eve of 2011 and would spend ten days in London, including your birthday. You planned to do so much on that trip that when you shared your ideas with Sadie, she nearly asked for a refund on her ticket.

The two of you began with all the regular tourist stuff, but there were also a few things that would be so special to you, like visiting some of the Doctor Who locations and doing the Jack the Ripper Walking Tour in Whitechapel, because you were a true-crime enthusiastic.

Along with all the sightseeing and other attractions, you and Sadie went barhopping every night, or better saying, pub hopping. Not only you because Sadie wanted to enjoy being able to legally drink since she wasn’t turning twenty-one until September, but you also wanted the best London experience you could get.

And to make sure that happened, the two of you made a pack in the airport of your hometown to assure neither of you would miss a unique opportunity by being embarrassed or afraid.

Whenever one of you said I dare you, the other had to do it or face the consequences, which would probably be an even more embarrassing or terrifying prank so the one being challenged might as well just suck it up and do the first dare already. So far, neither of you had backed down from a dare and you had all the pictures to prove it. As well as the hangovers.

On the morning of your birthday and Sadie woke you up at the crack of dawn, jumping on your bed and scaring the shit out of you. She had a higher alcohol tolerance than you, so even though both of you drank around the same amount, you had a pounding headache, while she looked fresh and wide awake.

“Rise and shine my dear! It’s your birthday! You’re officially legal! How does it feel?” She asked, bouncing on your bed.

“I hate you!” you groaned, feeling your stomach queasy. Your mouth tasted like something had crawled inside and died. “It’s six in the morning!”

“I know! I could barely sleep! I wanted to give you your present!” She announced, voice high-pitched with excitement as she shoved an envelope in your hands. “Open it!”

Grumbling in annoyance, you sat up and rubbed your eyes, trying to force yourself into consciousness. Fortunately, Sadie took pity on you and brought over some water and a bottle of aspirin.

You popped two pills before finally opening the envelope under Sadie's giddy gaze. You found two tickets to something called The Graham Norton Show that would happen that night.

“Thanks, Sadie,” you said, trying to force a happy smile. You could tell that she was obviously excited about this.

“Turn it around,” she asked, still smiling and unfazed by your less than enthusiastic response.

You obeyed and when your brain registered the name of one of the guests, your eyes went wide with shock.

“OH MY GOD!” You screamed looking at her. “Are you serious?”

“Yes!” She grinned. “Happy birthday, bitch!”

You looked back at the tickets, still in disbelief. Your favorite actor, Keanu Reeves would be a guest at the Graham Norton show tonight. You were going to share a room with Keanu, breathe the same air, maybe you’d get to ask a question? Was Graham Norton the kind of show with audience interaction?

To be honest, you didn’t really care. You were just happy to see him in person. That would be a dream come true. A photo and an autograph would be just a cherry on top, but not an actual need.

“You’re the best friend ever!” You told Sadie, pulling her into a bearhug, hungover completely forgotten.

You spent the rest of the day beaming with excitement, unable to focus on anything other than counting down the hours and minutes until you finally got to see Keanu. And maybe that was a little geeky of you, but you put on your The Matrix T-shirt for the night. Not only it was your favorite tee, but also such a special occasion deserved it.

You and Sadie arrived early at the studio, but there was still a line to get in. The two of you got good seats, middle section. Of course, you wanted to be closer, but you could only imagine how much those tickets would cost.

You could barely contain your excitement when he finally came on stage, dressed in an all-black suit, his long hair touching the collar of his shirt; beard a little unkempt, but it still suited him perfectly. As you watched him, your heart hammered against your ribs and your chest felt tight, like you were struggling to breathe. You just couldn’t sit still.

So, you took a moment to force yourself to relax and control your breathing. It wouldn’t do you any good having an anxiety attack right now. You’d miss the entire show and your chance of fangirling over Keanu.

It was a good interview and you couldn’t believe you’ve never heard of this talk show before. The host was pretty funny and had great chemistry with all the guests. He gave Keanu quite a lot of attention and the comedian, Marcus, was making a lot of comments on what was said.

You found it really sweet how Keanu tried to get Emilia involved in the conversation since she was quiet for a while, something that should’ve been the host’s job. You enjoyed the easy banter the four of them seemed to share and all the new tidbits of information about Keanu you were learning that day.

When it came time for the ‘I never’ section, something that Graham had explained before the show started and invited the audience to think on really common stuff that they had never done, but everyone else might have.

As Norton walked between the rolls of seats, talking to the audience, Sadie tugged your arm, catching your attention.

“I dare you to say I never kissed Keanu Reeves,” she whispered to you with a wicked grin and you stared at her wide-eyed.

“You’re crazy! I’m not doin’ it!” You hissed, feeling your cheeks hot at the mere thought of it.

“Do you really wanna face the consequences?” she asked with an arched eyebrow and from the way she was smirking, you could tell she was planning a terrible prank if you kept saying no.

So, against your better judgment, you put your hand up, praying that Norton wouldn’t pick you. There were many other people whose hands were raised as well.

He walked right past you to talk to the girl who had never seen The Matrix and you gasped in shock. You could sort of forgive someone not having read or seen Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings, but The Matrix?

Then Norton teased the guy that never ironed a shirt and for a moment you almost sighed in relief thinking you’d be free from the embarrassment.

“How about you?” he asked, gesturing at you and you froze, nearly dropping the mic when he gave it to you. “Where are you from, dear?”

“I came here for my birthday,” you replied, voice trembling.

“Oh! Happy birthday,” Norton said with a smile. “So, what’s your I never?”

You glanced at Sadie, pleading with your eyes, but her smirk only grew, and she shook her head. So, taking a deep breath and avoiding looking over the stage, you said:

“I-uh never kissed Keanu Reeves.”

People around you were chuckling and clapping and you just wanted to hide and pretend you didn’t just say that aloud.

Against your better judgment, you glanced at the stage and your gaze briefly locked with Keanu’s warm brown eyes. You could tell he was a little flustered in embarrassment, but there was a soft, amused smile playing on his lips.

“Good try,” Norton declared, laughing. “But you never will.”

Keanu finally looked away from you when Norton returned to the stage and the show resumed with the interviews. You found it hard to keep your gaze on the guests, still too mortified and confused. You even ignored Sadie, because she was mean and you hated her a little, even if she was your best friend.

When the show was finally over, you couldn’t wait to get out, put as much distance between yourself and what happened tonight, but the isles between the seats were narrow so you had to wait for everyone else in front of you to move before you could step out.

“Excuse me, miss?” a male voice called, and you turned to see a man in all black and with a headset on standing behind you. He looked like he worked for production. “Can you come with me, please?”

You shared a quick look with Sadie, but she just shrugged, promising to wait for you outside, before you followed the production assistant.

He took you through a maze of hallways behind the main stage until he paused at a door and knocked once before opening it for you. When you stepped inside, you froze in shock at seeing Keanu Reeves up close.

“Hi there,” he smiled and offered you a hand.

You stared at it for a moment, your brain too overwhelmed to actually process what was going on. He actually giggled, ducking his head and that was what finally shook you from your stunned silence.

“Hi!” you managed to stutter your name and take his hand and you were shaking. “I’m so sorry about what I said. It was a stupid dare from a friend.”

“It’s fine, I thought it was funny,” Keanu actually patted your hand in a comforting manner, and you managed a small, relieved smile. “Cool shirt.”

You looked down at yourself and chuckled, feeling your cheeks hot.

“Thanks. It’s one of my favorite movies,” you started. “I love your movies.”

You forced yourself to stop there even if you wanted to say more. Even if you wanted to tell him how much you appreciated his work and how his movies meant to you, but you didn’t want to sound too eager and weird.

“Thank you,” he replied with a smile, looking a half pleased, half self-conscious. “Listen, I just want to make sure you were alright. You looked really embarrassed afterward and like I said, I really didn’t mind.”

That was really sweet of him to worry, especially when you embarrassed both of you in front of a huge audience and on live TV. And just remembering it made you cringe.

“Hey, come on. It’s your birthday,” Keanu said in a comforting tone, correctly deducing why you were making that face. “You should enjoy it. Happy birthday, by the way.”

“Thanks,” you managed a smile because he looked a little awkward himself as he tried to console you and that was cute. “Can I have a picture and an autograph?”

“Of course.”

You grabbed your phone from your pocket and positioned yourself next to him, snapping a couple of pictures. You checked them quickly, making sure they were good, before pocketing your phone again.

“Do you have a piece of paper?” Keanu asked, picking up a sharpie pen.

For a moment you hesitated. You did have your Graham Norton ticket with you, but there wasn’t where you wanted the autograph.

“Can you do it on my shirt?”

“Sure.”

Beaming, you shrugged off your jacket and turned his arm at him, and Keanu signed your sleeve. You glanced over and grinned when you realized that he also wrote Welcome to the desert of the real, a line from the movie.

“Thank you so much!”

He just chuckled, pocketing the sharpie. He opened the door for you, stepping out of the dressing room along with you and leading the way to a maze of hallways.

 “So, what do you do?”

“I’m a majoring in English,” you replied, hands in your pocket as you walked side by side. “I’ve got one term left so I should probably start figuring out what I’m gonna do with the rest of my life.”

You had no idea why you just said that to Keanu, a complete stranger. You weren’t one to blurt out your private dilemmas. Not even to your own friends.

“Well, what do you want to do?” he asked, sounding actually curious.

“Am I being realistic or a dreamer?”

“Realistic,” Keanu replied, glancing at you.

“I want to teach,” you said with a fair amount of confidence. You already had a few internships and you knew that was something you liked doing it.

“And what’s your dream?”

The two of you had stopped in front of an emergency back exit. Keanu probably didn’t want to be mobbed by fans by going through the main entrance of the studio. 

Keanu watched you as you thought about his question. It wasn’t as if you didn’t know the answer. It was just that you had never said aloud before. Not even to yourself, but you wanted to say it to him. He had been your inspiration after all. If it hadn’t been for his movies, you would have never realized how much you loved to create your own stories; how much you loved to write.

“I want to be a writer,” you confessed, and his smile shifted into something soft and understanding and it took your breath away.

“Can I offer some advice?” he said, and you nodded. “Life’s too short to get stuck doing something you don’t really love. Follow your dreams.”

You felt your heart swell with emotion at the simple encouragement because it was so full of meaning. You couldn’t even begin to tell him how much it meant to you.

You met his gaze again in the half-light of the hallway and there was something in them that you couldn’t quite name, but it held you still, rooted to your spot, heart thundering in your chest, a lump of emotion closing of your throat.

Keanu leaned forward, his lips brushing softly against yours, beard tickling your skin. It was a barely-there touch, but it felt branded on you.

“Now you can have some fun in your next I never game,” he said with a small smirk and you grinned. “It was very nice to meet you.”

He stepped back and held the door open for you.

“You too, Keanu.”

You stepped outside a huge grin on your lips. This had certainly been the best birthday ever.

xxx

Taglist (give me a shout if you want to added.)

@poisonedjoinery @ringa-starr @curly-minnie @i-cant-remember-my-old-login

@caryled @beyond-antares @kathorax @krazycags01 @meetmeinthematinee

@red-pill-blue-pill @baphometwolf666

[pilot-boi]

Shouting In Cafes: Chapter Six

Potential Bonding

Sun has a brilliant idea, Neptune wants to escape, and Jaune continues to be no help at all. 

AO3 LINK

“When did you get this job?” Sun asked, picking at the counter absentmindedly. Neptune could feel Scarlet cringing at the state of Sun’s nails from wherever his roommate was. Maybe he should recommend a nail place.

“About a year ago,” Neptune said as he very casually picked up a cloth and began polishing a coffee machine. Maybe if he looked focused enough, Sun would go away. And go home. And leave forever.

“So you like it?”

“Not-” Owner’s son. “It’s fine.”

“What do you like about it?”

Neptune glanced up just in time to watch Sun’s eyes flick from half-lidded to wide and bright, irises twinkling. His cheek bunched up against the hand he was leaning it on. He gave Neptune a lopsided smile, and Neptune quickly shifted his gaze away.

Neptune picked an already-clean coffee cup. Not clean enough. Focus on something else. “Why are you still here?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve been here for almost two hours doing nothing. Waiting for me.”

“Yeah! I said I would.”

Neptune paused. “Don’t you have anything better to do?” Neptune’s mind flicked to drinking, sports, parties. Whatever frat boys usually did.

“Not really. Plus, I have a friend to win over.”

A hand tapped Neptune’s shoulder. “Your shift’s done,” Jaune said, not even trying to hide his glance towards Sun. Betrayal. Complete and utter betrayal.

“Hell yeah!” Sun cried and pumped his fist into the air.

“Jesus Christ,” Neptune sighed and nearly dropped the coffee cup as he went to pinch the crease between his eyebrows. There was a steady headache slowly growing behind his eyes. He was so tired. He wanted to go home. He wanted sleep. He had homework to do. He didn’t have time for a friend.

There was a beat of silence before Sun coughed up one huff of a laugh before reaching over the counter and resting a hand the size of a shovel on Neptune’s shoulder. Freaking monster hands. “Listen, dude. If you really don’t want me around, I won’t bother you. I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything.”

Neptune bristled. Every single time he was sure he had this guy figured out, something like this happened. And the dude’s frat boy persona crumbled and he started showing faces and exhibiting emotions that Neptune couldn’t pinpoint. 

You come to a crossroads between two easily identifiable facial expressions. What road do you take?

If you’re Sun Wukong, you apparently just start wandering off path straight through the middle of them.

Neptune shifted from foot to foot. A breath. “No, no. No. I’m sorry. I’m just… exhausted from work,” he heard himself say.

“Aw dude. That’s gotta suck.” Sun was perched cross-legged on Neptune's counter again. Dear lord, he was like a freaking cat. Or a monkey. A monkey cat. Was that a thing?

“Yeah.” This felt weird. They were having a normal conversation and Neptune wasn’t annoyed. Something bad was about to happen.

“Well, I have a way to wake you up.” Even Jaune shifted apprehensively beside Neptune.

“There is a lot of coffee around us,” Neptune deadpanned, not getting what Sun was trying to say.

 “What type of car do you drive?” he asked, sliding off the counter to return to leaning across it with his feet on the ground. Neptune didn’t know if this was an improvement or not.

“A bad one.”

“Okay, well, I have a Mustang. Do you wanna see who’s faster?” The grin. The eye sparkle. His fingers tapped on the counter. He bounced up and down on the balls of his feet and leaned close enough to Neptune’s face that he could count the freckles across his nose. He looked so excited, you could barely even tell that he was talking about doing something so, so illegal.

“Um, no? What the fuck?”

Sun melted down, expression included, until his chin met the countertop. He must’ve been perfecting that move for a while. It even made Neptune feel a little bad. “C’mon, dude! We won’t get into any trouble,” he whined, staring up at Neptune with big blue eyes.

Jaune elbowed him in the side, and without even looking he could feel the glare. Neptune untied his apron and unhooked it from behind his neck, carefully folding it in his arms. “Maybe you wouldn’t, but we’re not all rich.”

Sun frowned at that. He stood. “If you do it, I’ll leave you alone.”

That got Neptune’s attention. “Really?”

“Neptune, don’t,” Jaune said, a warning inching into his tone. This was probably a bad idea.

“Neptune, do!” Sun said, pulling out his car keys and twirling them around his finger. Okay this was definitely a really bad idea.

“And you’ll really leave me alone?”

“For sure.”

“If I just race you. One time.”

“One time.”

“Deal.”

“Neptune!” Jaune exclaimed, using an exasperated and disappointed tone that Neptune was sure he’d perfected over many years of being an older and younger sibling.

“What? I’m getting him out of our hair!”

“And probably getting arrested!” Jaune said, strangling the air in front of him.

Sun waved a hand in the air. “Nah man, it’ll be fine!” He turned to Neptune, his eyes lighting up. “Ready to go?”

Neptune set down his apron and took a deep breath. “Yeah, let’s do this.” Jaune’s face fell into his hands, and Neptune ignored him.

Sun did, in fact, drive a Mustang. A bright blue Mustang. A bright blue Mustang with the license plate H0TB0Y. Sun seemed to be very proud of it, judging from the way he brushed a speck of dust off the hood and tapped the black leather seats.

“It’s nice,” Neptune said.

Sun beamed. “I know, right?”

“Honestly, just by looking at it, I can tell it’s faster than my car.”

“Yeah? How?”

Neptune sighed and pointed across the lot. “That’s my car.”

Sun turned around and his shoulders sunk. It was an ugly shade of purple, first of all. Not bright enough to be gaudy like Sun’s, but not dull enough to be professional. 

Second of all, it was a Jeep, because that was the only thing he could get his hands on, even though he hated them. This meant he was extremely hot in the summer, and extremely cold in the winter.

To top it all off, there was a big dent in the bumper next to his non-vanity plate where a dick that had been fixing his hair in the mirror ran into him at a stop light then sped away before he could get in trouble.

With his luck, that dick might’ve been Sun.

“Hm,” Sun said and spun back around. His lips drew into a straight line and a flush spread across his cheeks. He blushed on his neck, too. Neptune hadn’t seen him blush before. “Hm, yeah, that’s unfortunate.”

What the fuck was that expression?

“What?” Neptune asked and crossed his arms.

“Nothing, nothing,” Sun said. His eyes seemed to be trying to look everywhere except directly at Neptune.

“Spit it out.”

Sun did. He burst out laughing, doubling over with the force of it, grabbing at his stomach. Somehow, Neptune had forgotten how loud he was normally and how much louder his laughs were. He was sure that the customers inside would hear his howls and think a dog was being murdered outside.

“What?!” Neptune exclaimed.

“You… You drive a Jeep?!” he shouted before breaking out into another fit of laughter. It was almost contagious, and if Neptune wasn’t so defensive of his car, he might’ve started laughing, too.

“It was the only thing available! I have to save all my money for college”

“Neptune, it’s purple!”

“You can’t talk! Yours is freaking aqua!”

Sun stood up straight, the laughter finally wearing off. “Hey, don’t talk mean about Ruyi Jingu,” he said, suddenly serious. He laid a protective hand on the hood of the car, “Blue is cool, and she’s very sensitive.”

Neptune stared at him. “You named your car. And she?!”

“You didn’t name yours?”

“You named your car.”

“You named your car Ruyi Jingu.”

“Yeah, what’s the problem.”

“Holy shit dude.”

Sun pouted at Neptune, eyes squinty, skin wrinkling around his eyes. “Anyway,” he said, as if there hadn’t been an interruption. “Yeah, I don’t think that there’s any possible way you could beat me.”

“Hey!”

“You said it first,” Sun said and grinned. “But how about we go for a ride anyway?”

That was not a normal smile. That was an evil smile. His brow furrowed and his smile stretched so wide Neptune thought his face might break. His eyes twinkled with mischief. Evil mischief.

“What do you mean?”

“Let’s just ride in the same car.”

“What the fuck?!”

“What! We already agreed on doing illegal things! Why not just do them closer together?” He said this like it made all the sense in the world. Which it did not. It one hundred percent did not. And then he winked, Jesus Christ on a bike.

Neptune raised an eyebrow. Sun was straight, right? Because what he was saying and doing did not sound or look like what a straight person would say or do.

“What’s the point if we’re in the same car?”

“The thrill!” Sun stuck out his hands and wiggled his fingers for effect.

“Excuse me?”

“Have you ever done anything fun in your life? Ever? Or have you always been a hardass?”

Neptune glared. Maybe if he glared hard enough, this blonde idiot would be vaporized on the spot, and he would be able to continue on with his life.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Sun grinned cheekily, and Neptune squawked in protest, stumbling over a defense before finally giving up. The closest he could come to acquiescence was rolling his eyes and nodding. He was going to regret this.

Sun didn’t care for his car as much as initially thought, seeing as he attempted to slide over the hood, fell off when he got to the edge, then leapt straight over the driver side door and plopped into the seat. “C’mon!”

“And you’ll leave me alone?”

“Totally, dude.”

“Fine.” He already regretted this. Preemptively. How the fuck was that even possible? What he wouldn’t give for a lightning bolt to strike him down where he stood. He’d almost rather go swimming than get into a moving vehicle with this maniac.

Almost. He wasn’t there yet, but he was getting close.

[queerofthedagger]

would you be willing to do 9 out of that prompt list post with Jegulus? feel free not to if it’s too hard to do!!

Hi Nonnie, thanks for the prompt, I sure am! 9 was: “There’s only one bed and we sleep as far away from each other as possible but wake up cuddling.”

I have to admit, it took me a bit to come up with a scenario for this, but I think (hope) I managed :)

Of Regrets, Creaking Floorboards and Taking Chances 

Pairing: James/Regulus; Wc:6375; Ao3

Warnings: Not really any, but some Angst and mentioned, minor Character Death (canonical)

Summary: Regulus defected and now has to stay at an Order safe house, with only James for company – which is fine, really, right until there are three more families moving in and they suddenly have to share a bed.

“Hey, I made you a coffee,” James greets him as soon as he enters the kitchen and he smiles a bit, gratefully accepting the mug but otherwise staying silent. It’s barely 7 am and, besides absolutely not being a morning person, he barely got any sleep. Bloody nightmares.

After weeks of being holed up in this house, James knows that well enough and lets him be, and not for the first time does Regulus send silent thanks to whoever is listening that the Order assigned James Potter as his ‘guard.’ Not that they would outright call him that, but Regulus is not naïve enough to think that they trust him.

He wouldn’t either if he’s honest, some days he isn’t even sure if he still trusts himself. He might have defected and told Dumbledore everything he knows about the Horcrux, instead of going to the cave by himself, he might have hated being a Death Eater and the Dark Lord and his parents, but he’s acutely aware of the things he did, in just what he played a part, and his dreams make sure that he won’t ever forget it.

He sighs inwardly, trying to shove the images of mangled bodies and the screams of innocent people behind his mental walls, trying to focus on the bitterness of his coffee, the cool breeze, and rays of sun that are filtering through the open windows on his face, wishing that it would be enough to dispel all the darkness.

A warm hand on his shoulder startles him and James looks at him with worry in his eyes. He swallows, not for the first time feeling like he doesn’t really deserve how kind and friendly James is with him.

Thankfully, he doesn’t ask if he’s alright – he doesn’t want to lie, but he’s also not going to whine about things he mostly has only himself to blame for.

“You want some pancakes?” James asks instead and he nods.

“What are you doing up this early, anyway?” he asks after James turned towards the stove, playing with the spoon in his mug to avoid looking at him too much. He always found him rather attractive, and spending day after day in the same house only led to an overall fondness on top of it – he might have called it a crush, if that didn’t sound bloody stupid to his own ears. He knows he’d never have a chance.

“Sirius is coming over in half an hour,” James says, throwing a grin over his shoulder. “He’s going to bring us two brooms, then we can finally have that Seeker match we talked about.”

He smiles in response, more because James looks ridiculously happy about it than because of the flying, though he does look forward to that as well. There’s not much you can do here apart from roaming the library, but there’s only so much you can read before going mad. Coming from him, that’s saying something.

James started teaching him how to cook – something he didn’t think he would ever learn in this life – which is more fun than he anticipated, but only goes so far as entertainment.

They’re lucky that the wards include the extensive garden of the old house they’re staying in, the only way he ever has the chance to get some fresh air. “Well, then I can finally show you who’s the better Seeker between the two of us,” he grins, picking up the reoccurring debate.

James laughs and shakes his head. “We’ll see. I just hope Sirius remembers to bring a bloody snitch,” he says, putting down two plates onto the wooden table.

He grimaces a bit because Sirius tends to forget stuff like that. Their relationship is still a bit tense but it’s getting better – after all, if it wasn’t for Sirius, he would most likely lie on the bottom of a lake full of Inferi by now.

It was mostly coincidence – he didn’t count on meeting Sirius at the Three Broomsticks, the night he wanted to get wasted one last time, much less on spilling everything after they both had a few too many Firewhiskey’s. And he’s still glad beyond belief that it was Sirius he met, not anybody else.

Naturally, his brother didn’t let him go, taking him home to his flat instead and spending the next three days convincing him to tell Dumbledore about the Horcrux, and letting the Order help him.

It’s not like Regulus regrets it, no matter that besides Sirius and James nobody really trusts him or that he can’t leave the house; he quite likes being alive, even if his plan didn’t exactly bring that across. He’s not convinced yet that he’ll make it out of this war, and there’s a lot of self-loathing and nightmares and dread that just won’t let go of him, but all things considered, he’s probably pretty lucky.

They’re not even finished with breakfast when Sirius arrives, as loud and boisterous as always, and he can’t help but smile and return the brief hug.

“Alright, you two?” Sirius grins, putting two brooms on the table and he’s surprised to note that they’re his and Sirius’ old ones. “I might or might not have visited our dear mother to inquire if she heard anything about you,” Sirius shrugs at his looks, and he winces a bit.

It’s not that he exactly loves his mother, but everyone agreed to keep his defection a secret which means most people simply think he disappeared, and with it already being a few months and the death of their father last year, it’s probably not that easy for her.

He shakes the thought and raises a brow at Sirius. “And she didn’t just kick you out but let you into my old room?”

“Well…” Sirius grins and he groans, thinking that this just has to be a typical Sirius-story. “She’s going mad for real now, I think. First, she thought I was you, then she screamed at me for a good 10 minutes, of course she did,” a shadow flickers through Sirius’ eyes, but it’s gone quickly. “And then she begged me to keep my eyes open for you. I told her I needed some stuff from my room and she let me, so it’s not that interesting, to be honest.”

He sighs but ignores the vague pang of guilt – really, if he wouldn’t be hiding, he would be dead, so it’s not like it makes much of a difference. “Thanks,” he says because he knows how difficult it must have been for Sirius to go back there.

Sirius just shrugs. “I would have given you mine and gotten James’ old one, but he crashed it some time ago, and I didn’t want to buy new ones for some backyard stunts, so…”

He looks at James who is sitting on one of the counters, legs swinging and looking sheepish. “I was drunk, it was dark, and a tree jumped into my way.”

He laughs, wishing he could have seen that.

“Sure it jumped into your way Prongs, that’s exactly what happened,” Sirius snorts, earning himself a punch on the shoulder.

“Anyway, did you bring us a few snitches as well?” James asks, obviously intent on changing the subject.

Sirius’ eyes widen and both James and Regulus groan simultaneously, but then Sirius smirks and pulls a crate out of his bag. “Of course I did, but thanks ever so much for believing in me,” he says, a dramatic hand over his heart.

Before they can say anything, he sobers and says, “Before I forget it though, Mad-Eye said he’s coming by later. I didn’t get what exactly is going on but if I’m not mistaken, there might be a few more people moving in, at least for some time.”

Regulus swallows, not knowing what he should think about that. Not only does he enjoy James’ company, but he’s also a bit wary about anybody else. Dumbledore is treating him nicely enough, but Moody is one of the most suspicious of him, and he doesn’t know what to expect from anybody else.

It’s mostly justified, only Dumbledore, Sirius and James know about the Horcrux and to anybody else, it looks like he simply couldn’t take it anymore – which, if he was a spy, would be the story he’d tell as well.

A look at James shows him that he’s frowning slightly. “Do you know why?”

Sirius bites his bottom lip, running a hand through his hair and he sighs, sitting down on one of the chairs. Regulus can suddenly see the exhaustion, the dark shadows under his eyes, his hands trembling ever so slightly and his skin pale in the faint morning light, and he wonders how he missed this until now.

“They got the McKinnon’s, last night,” Sirius whispers after the silence stretched for a while, his eyes swimming with tears.

James’ draws a sharp breath and Regulus can feel his throat tighten, a sudden weight settling in his stomach.

“The whole family. The order is moving everyone into safe houses now, Dumbledore is currently putting them all under the Fidelius, like this one. But we don’t have enough houses for everyone because we’re also moving the Muggle relatives, so they’re putting two to four families per house.” He rubs a hand over his face, and they’re all silent.

“Did… Did they get Marlene, too?” James finally asks, his voice heavy and shoulders slumped.

Sirius only nods and he looks so defeated, so still and broken that Regulus has to take deep, measured breaths against the tears burning in his own eyes. He remembers Marlene, she played on the Gryffindor Quidditch team, always full of life and determination.

James slides down from the counter and pulls Sirius into a hug, both of them clinging to each other and crying silently, and Regulus feels like an intruder, feels all that guilt and self-loathing crashing down on him once again.

Rationally, he knows that it’s not his fault, that he couldn’t have done anything, but that knowledge does nothing against the feelings threatening to overwhelm him; he was a part of that, he chose to serve someone who’s killing those friends of his brother, who would kill his brother if he gets the chance, who literally kills anybody who just looks at him the wrong way.

No matter how much his parents pressured him into taking the mark, he never did anything to try going against them.

He tugs at his sleeves, a gesture that is quickly becoming a nervous habit. He always wears long sleeves these days, unable to stand the sight of that bloody skull on his arm, the way he’s branded, and how it serves to remind him every single day of all the wrong choices he made.

He jumps violently when he feels arms pulling him into a hug, and barely bites back the sob when he realises that it’s Sirius’ who is sitting next to him and holding him close. He doesn’t feel like he deserves it, but Sirius doesn’t let go of him and he slowly feels his heartbeat slowing down, his breathing returning to normal, and wonders when he actually started to get so worked up.

“It’s not your fault,” Sirius murmurs into his hair and he wants to believe him, he really does, but it doesn’t work like that. It never does.

When Sirius lets go of him he stares at his hands, twisted in his lap and too embarrassed to look at either of them. It feels wrong, somehow, getting comforted over this when it’s them who lost a friend.

Sirius sighs, his hand lingering on his shoulders before he straightens up. “I have to go, I’m sorry. I’ll try to visit over the next few days, yeah?”

They both nod and Regulus is scared of the silence that will follow as soon as Sirius walks out of the door, but he wouldn’t have needed to. James plops down next to him and throws an arm around his shoulder, like it’s the most normal thing to do. Regulus tries to ignore the warmth that spreads through him at the contact, but he’s not very successful.

“Stop beating yourself up,” James says softly, and when he whips his head around to stare at him, he’s smiling a bit. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed. I know it’s not… Not really any of my business but I like to think that we’re friends by now and – it’s not your fault, you know? War is horrible, it fucks us all up and you, contrary to many others, did the right thing after realising what you were doing.”

His mouth is dry and he doesn’t know what to say, what to think, but eventually, he says quietly, “That might be true but I still… I still joined him, Merlin, the things – “

He chokes on his words and James pulls him more tightly against his side, propping his chin on Regulus’ head. The armrest of his chair is digging into his side and his back hurts slightly at the angle, but he can’t bring himself to move away.

“I’m not saying that you didn’t make mistakes, but you were sixteen, and you made the right choice in the end, and that says more about you than the rest. Merlin, you planned to sacrifice yourself in silence, that’s one of the bravest, most selfless things I ever heard about,” James says, and his voice is so full of conviction that he can’t help but believe him, at least for now.

They stay like this for a while and Regulus can feel his mind settle slowly.

“Come on, let’s take these brooms out for a bit, yeah? It’ll help to take our minds off everything and I think we can both use that right now,” James says eventually, and he can feel his own excitement rise at the eagerness in James’ eyes.

The October sun is weak and it’s windy, the trees moving in colourful disarray in the overgrown garden, but it’s a beautiful day and perfect for chasing after the Snitch. They just fly for a little while, racing each other and doing tricks to show off before James lets one of the Snitches free.

He’s a bit surprised at how good James is at seeking, but he probably shouldn’t be. After all, he was an exceptional Chaser for Gryffindor and if the rumours are true, he was asked by numerous scouts shortly before leaving Hogwarts.

Regulus faintly remembers him walking around with a Snitch at Hogwarts, and snorts to himself at the memory – Merlin, but James was a bloody idiot in school, it’s kind of impressive how much he changed. Then again, they all did and that he’s not the only one who needed some time is kind of comforting.

Granted, joining the Death Eaters doesn’t really compare, but maybe he’s going to be able to not feel so horrible about himself, someday.

They’re only touching back down when the sun is already hanging low, soft golden light making everything appear slightly ethereal and long shadows stretching over the grass. James looks wind-swept, hair even messier than usual and cheeks flushed, but his eyes are sparkling and he’s grinning brightly, and Regulus thinks that flying might have been the best idea they’ve come up within weeks.

It also helps that he beat him seven to five.

His good mood dims when he’s greeted by Moody’s narrowed eyes as soon as they step into the kitchen. There are no less than 10 people in here, none of them that he knows but all wearing robes. Figures that they wouldn’t put any Muggles in the same house as him, no matter that he couldn’t care less about it by now.

He spares James a grateful look when he stops next to him and puts a hand on his shoulder, wondering absent-mindedly when his presence became something so bloody comforting.

Moody only nods to James, bellowing a few instructions (orders) around, before turning back to them. “Right lads, I know Sirius already told you what’s going on. I don’t have much time, but we have three families, the Dearborn’s, Fenwick’s and Brown’s. I know it’ll be a bit crowded but I’m sure you’ll manage.”

He’s already turning away when he stops once more and throws over his shoulder, “I nearly forgot, we don’t have enough rooms so you will have to share. You don’t mind, right? Great.”

He doesn’t wait for an answer, just leaves them standing in the middle of the kitchen, surrounded by people who are levitating luggage around and chattering amongst themselves, while a bunch of children who must all be under 11 are running around.

Regulus’ mind is weirdly blank, his mouth dry. Surely, surely Moody means sharing a room, right? But he knows that all the bedrooms have only one bed, which is most likely the reason they have this problem in the first place, in a house that has 11 rooms.

“Well, that’s unexpected,” James says slowly, and Regulus notices only now that his hand left his shoulder at some point. His voice is strangely controlled and he’s frowning, and Regulus’ heart sinks a bit.

It’s not like he’s all that keen on sharing a bed himself, but it’s more because he doesn’t think it will be particularly helpful with his stupid crush and he’s pretty sure that James’ aversion is caused by very different reasons.

“I can sleep on the couch in the library,” he says, unwilling to put James through something he so obviously doesn’t want. If he’s good at one thing it’s pretending that nothing is wrong, after all.

James looks surprised by his offer but quickly shakes his head. “Bullshit, that thing is terribly small, and I don’t even know if we don’t have to put one of the children on that. Pity that transfiguration doesn’t really last. Anyway, let’s take my room, I think the bed is bigger than yours.”

He sighs but knows better than to protest. He learned over the last weeks that the only person more stubborn than James is Sirius, so there’s not much sense in trying to convince him otherwise.

The rest of the day is uncomfortable and weird. He feels like James is avoiding him but at the same time thinks he’s being ridiculous – they’re busy with settling everyone in and James is cooking dinner, so it’s not like they have much time together.

It’s an abrupt change to the quietness of the last weeks. They rarely got any visitors, and now the house is full of people, children running through the corridors and adults trying to get as comfortable as is possible with the restricted space they have.

A few of them eye him with mistrust; he knows they’re trying to hide it but it’s obvious in the way their gazes linger, and how they stop talking as soon as he enters a room. It bothers him less than it probably should though – on the one hand, it’s not a new experience, whenever he talks to someone that isn’t James or Sirius, it’s a constant companion these days. On the other hand, there are so many people out there that would kill him in a heartbeat if they learned he’s still alive, that these things seem ridiculously harmless, in comparison.

It’s a surreal experience, being holed up in this house while there’s a war raging on, something he now only takes part in through the news they hear second-hand, the knowledge that he can’t do anything about it because it would put not only himself into danger.

And it’s not like he wants to keep fighting, really, he learned quickly that he’s not made for this, no matter which side he’s on. Of course, there’s no doubt that Voldemort and his Death Eaters are gruesome and cruel, void of any conscience or mercy, but he knows that fighting against them still involves violence and killing. There’s no innocence in war, and his gut churns as soon as he thinks too much about it.

That doesn’t change how… useless he feels here, from time to time. He did offer Dumbledore to work as a spy, but he would be lying if he said he wasn’t glad when the old Headmaster refused, stating that it would be too dangerous if Voldemort found out that he knows about the Horcrux. While he’s not too bad at Occlumency, he’s not good enough to withstand an attack from the Dark Lord.

James still goes on missions occasionally, when the Order is stretched thin or even to not go mad here, and despite his general aversion to keep fighting, he envies him a bit for the freedom to do so. When he does, Sirius stays here or if they’re really in the need for people, they leave someone older or injured. Really, he wonders if they actually think that he doesn’t know he’s being guarded.

He does understand the need though, he’s just glad that they left him with James and not, Merlin help him, Moody.

He sighs, for what feels like the millionth time today. He would like to simply avoid everyone, but seeing that they will all live here together indefinitely, he doesn’t think it would be smart to be perceived as unwilling to even try. So he grits his teeth and helps in the kitchen, ignoring the way James keeps a careful distance between them and doesn’t talk and joke with him as usual.

Dinner is a bit tense, but the children remain blissfully unaware of it all, mostly excited about the change of scenery. He wonders how much time it’s going to take until they go mad with the restricted space, seeing that there’s not much more to do for children here than for them.

Thankfully, everybody is tired and goes to bed soon after cleaning the kitchen, he doesn’t know how much longer he could take the terse atmosphere and unspoken words. He’s already nervous as it is, and it’s not much better, being alone with James, which is a strange feeling after getting along well for so many weeks, but it’s preferable to the badly disguised glares.

“I think I’m going to bed as well,” James says after they sat in silence for a while, each with a cup of tea in front of them and aimlessly thumbing through the Prophet. “You…” he can hear him swallow and bites his tongue to keep from telling him again that he’d rather sleep on the sofa if the idea of sharing a bed is so repulsive to him. “You’re coming, too? It’s just – “

“Yeah, alright,” he sighs, knowing that James probably doesn’t want to be woken up later, on top of everything. It’s not like he’s not tired, and he’d rather avoid stumbling through a room he doesn’t know.

They walk up the stairs in silence and he quickly grabs some sweatpants and a soft jumper before disappearing into the bathroom. Nearly all his clothes are from Sirius, seeing that he never got the chance to pick up any of his own stuff, and it’s a bit too big for him but he rather likes the comfortable washed out jeans and shirts, the cosy sweats and how the long sleeves of the jumpers reach over his hands.

“It’s going to be alright,” he tries to convince himself, throwing a quick look into the mirror and grimacing at how long his hair is getting. It’s not like it matters much though and, ignoring his racing heart, he walks back into James’ room. Their room – Salazar that sounds so weird.

James is already in bed, curled up near the wall and only a candle flickering softly on the nightstand, the flame dancing in the wind that whistles through the open window.

He lies as close to the edge as possible and blows out the candle, and he’s so tense he doesn’t know how he’s supposed to sleep like this, too aware of James’ breathing and every small move he makes.

The barest amount of moonlight shines through the window, just enough to make out blurring shades of furniture and how the curtains sway and he focuses on that and the little sounds the house is making.

It doesn’t take long until James’ breathing becomes steady and he sighs, carefully rolling onto his back. The ceiling isn’t any more interesting than the rest of the room and his mind keeps straying to memories of the day – of the carefree expression James wore while flying and the stark contrast to later, when he was so closed off that Regulus felt like they didn’t know each other at all.

He knows that it’s stupid, brooding over it like this, but no matter how hard he tries, it always comes back up, the feeling of disappointment settling heavy in his chest and making it impossible to fall asleep.

He must have managed it at some point and when he wakes up, it takes his still sluggish brain a long time to understand why he’s so comfortable. He’s pressed against something warm, there’s an arm around his shoulders and he can feel a steady heartbeat underneath his fingertips.

His eyes fly open at the last thought and he only just keeps himself from jerking away at the realisation that he curled against James at some point during the night. Slowly lifting his head, he sighs in relief when he sees that James is still fast asleep, and the carefully slips out from under his arm and out of bed.

The last thing he needs is making this even more awkward than it already is.

It’s still dark outside, only a few birds chirping and the house silent. He could have easily slept some more, but he can’t stay here right now and lights his wand to gather clothes for the day.

He silently makes his way down into the kitchen, glad that he took the time to map out all the small oddities of the house weeks ago; he knows which floorboards creak and which doors to open slowly, which steps to skip and to not lean onto the banister. It’s something he learned early at Grimmauld Place, to move without making a sound, without pulling any attention to himself, and he throws up a Silencing Charm in the kitchen before turning on the kettle for coffee.

As soon as he has a steaming mug ready, he makes his way back up, getting a book out of the library and disappearing into the attic. There’s a small window there with a ledge just big enough for him to curl up on comfortably, his coffee between his feet and the book balanced on his knees.

He can see across the garden and the grounds from here, the forest just slowly becoming distinguishable in the breaking dawn, and he settles himself to stay here for a while. No matter his resolutions to make an effort with everyone, he just knows that he needs some time before he can look at James without making a fool of himself. He can’t be sure that James didn’t notice his cuddling at some point, and he’d rather forget about it as soon as possible.

Sure, eventually he’s probably going to find him here, Regulus found the spot within the first week and ever since used it when he needed some space and time for himself, but James knows about it and most likely won’t let him brood for the whole day.

Or maybe he will, he thinks, remembering the awkwardness of yesterday evening. Leaning his head back he closes his eyes, listening to the sounds of the house slowly waking up and, not for the first time, wishes that he could just disappear. South America always sounded interesting.

Just being less important would be nice, too. Belonging to an inconsequential family, one whose name doesn’t mean anything and whose parents aren’t so mad that they sell their sons out to a genocidal maniac. He could have stayed out of the bloody war, instead of sitting in a dusty attic and worrying over a boy he’ll never have a chance with and a bunch of people that hate his guts.

He snorts softly at himself, wondering what his 14-year old self would think if he could hear that and then shakes his head. Self-pity won’t get him anywhere and he shoves all of it away, into a neat, little, black box in the back of his mind, and then opens the book, his lightened wand behind his ear.

James does find him eventually, when the sun is already past its highest point and he’s more than halfway through his book, and he doesn’t know how long he stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame with his ankles crossed, but when he finally notices him he’s smiling slightly and Regulus takes it as a good sign that the lacking distance between them last night went unnoticed.

“Aren’t you hungry?” James asks with a pointed look at his long-empty mug and he grins sheepishly, carefully disentangling his wand from his hair.

He gets up and stretches, his knees cracking slightly after the lack of movement for hours and he only now notices that he really has to eat something.

“What were you reading that got you so absorbed?” James asks when they’re walking down the stairs, which manages to get a smile out of him. It didn’t take long for James to notice just how much of a bookworm he is and he often asks about his current book.

“The Plague from Albert Camus. He was a Muggle philosopher and it’s a novel, talking about human nature in an extreme crisis. Kind of fitting, come to think of it,” he says, stroking a finger over the cracked spine.

When he looks up, James is watching him but quickly looks away. “I saved you some soup, the others are outside with the kids. Are you going to help me prepare dinner?”

“Thanks,” he murmurs, gratefully taking the bowl and cancelling the Stasis Charm. “Sure, what did you plan?”

They spend the next hour preparing food and while he still catches James watching him with a weird expression a few times and both of them more than once stumble over their words, they’re mostly back to normal.

He nearly thinks that he’ll be able to get through all this without going mad, until they sit down for dinner around the enlarged table, the kids chattering about their day.

The girl sitting next to him, he thinks her name is Sophie, nudges him towards the end and he turns his head to look at her, acutely aware of all the adults watching them closely. “Jamie said you were reading the whole day,” she states, and he doesn’t miss the way James sighs at the nickname across from him, causing him to grin.

“That’s right,” he says, looking down at her curiously.

Her blue eyes light up and she sits up straighter. “I’m learning to read too but I’m not very good yet. Can you read us a story after dinner?”

The table falls silent and he swallows, but she looks so hopeful and excited that there’s no way in hell he’s going to say no. “Well, if your parents are alright with that I sure can,” he says – at least it won’t be him who disappoints her, right? It’s not like her parents can’t read, anyway.

She turns her pleading eyes on them and they exchange a glance but, to his surprise, they nod, and that’s how Regulus finds himself with five excited children, four of the adults and James sitting around him in front of the fire in the library.

He chooses a Muggle children book – there’s still some Slytherin left in him and he’s not above taking an opportunity if it’s practically thrown into his lap – and spends the next hour reading about a little prince who’s asking people to draw things, interpret his own drawings and visiting planets while talking about the difficulty of dealing with adults and being alone.

It’s an endearing story and when the adults carry off their kids to bed, they even spare him a smile – small steps, and all that.

He’s not looking forward to going to bed himself, but he’s tired and the warmth and sounds of the fire are making his eyes droop, so when James asks him if he wants to go to sleep he agrees, ignoring how much he wishes that he’d mean it a bit differently.

Once again they lie down as far away from each other as possible and it doesn’t take him long to fall asleep tonight, despite his worries, but when he wakes up he can instantly tell that it happened again.

They’re both lying on their sides, facing each other, one arm of James under his head and the other around his middle. He can hear his heartbeat, feel the steady rise and fall of his chest, and he smells like soap and a bit like cinnamon.

But no matter how unfairly good it feels, being enveloped in James like this, warm and comfortable and safe, he needs to leave before he wakes up, and carefully tries to move away. It hits him that he didn’t have a nightmare the last two nights, at least not one he can remember, but it only adds to the sense of urgency to get away – it might be a nice change, but he really doesn’t need to start relying on anybody, even more than he already does.

“Don’t,” James murmurs into his hair, arms tightening around him and he instantly freezes, his heart beating rapidly in his chest.

James sighs and pulls away, just enough to look at him. “Sorry, do you want to – it’s just…” his voice is still heavy with sleep and he looks so soft like this, hair standing into every direction, all warm, hazel eyes and small smiles and Regulus has to bite his tongue to remind himself that he can’t just lean forward the few inches, can’t just kiss him no matter how much he wants to.

James’ thumb is drawing circles into his lower back and he closes his eyes, desperately trying to sort out his tangled thoughts, to make sense of any of this because it just doesn’t add up, there’s no rational explanation why James is doing this when just two days ago he was so obviously appalled by the idea of sharing a bed with him.

“You know,” James says softly, his hand moving away from its spot and tentatively pushing a few strands of hair behind Regulus’ ear who opens his eyes against his best intentions, startling at the uncertainty on James’ face. “Did you know that I – that I asked to be the one to stay with you?”

He shakes his head, not knowing what to say; it’s not like he never wondered why but he suspected that it has been Sirius’ doing, or simply because of reasons he doesn’t know about. It still doesn’t make sense, James doesn’t strike him as a person who’s happy with staying out of the action, who’s content with keeping watch over a renegade in an old safe-house that has too many creaking floorboards and only a library and a kitchen for company.

Granted, he’s still going on missions from time to time with somebody else staying here, but that’s rather beside the point and he has no idea why his mind comes up with useless stuff, now of all times.

“But why?” he asks, searching James’ face and frowning when he takes a deep breath before meeting his eyes again.

“Because I wanted to spend time with you, because I – I don’t know, I always liked you, I think and well, I didn’t exactly expect to…” he swallows and clears his throat, the hand on Regulus shoulder tightening ever so slightly. “I didn’t expect to end up like this, but I really, really like you.”

He has no idea what to say, his mind whirring and heart threatening to beat out of his chest, but his eyes are involuntarily drawn to the way James is biting his bottom lip, and he knows he should say something but James is leaning forward, slowly, watching him closely and fingers ghosting over his cheek.

“Also, I would really like to kiss you right now,” James whispers, their noses already touching and he doesn’t think he could speak even if he wanted to, so he just nods and closes the remaining distance between them, still not completely convinced that this is not just a dream.

James’ lips are soft and warm, and Regulus melts into him, his hands clenching into James’ shirt who only pulls him closer, one hand running through his hair and the other steady on his back, and he thinks he’s never been kissed like this, so carefully, like it actually means something.

He puts one arm around James’ waist, rolling onto his back and pulling him on top of him because he needs to feel more of him, needs something solid and real because he fears that he’s just going to shatter under this tenderness any moment now.

It’s nearly too much, the way his chest feels close to bursting open, his emotions so high-strung that he thinks he could cry if he let himself and he just tries to focus on James’ tongue brushing against his lips, on his fingers ghosting over his jaw and his throat and the warm, soft skin under his own fingertips.

It all becomes a bit less overwhelming after a while and he simply sinks into the feeling, the brimming energy receding to warmth and pure joy, even if it’s still intense and exhilarating, a bit like pulling out of a dive that cut it just a bit too close, and when they eventually break apart, he manages to smile softly, drawing his thumb over James’ jaw and says, “Just if that wasn’t clear, I really, really like you too.”

James smiles brightly and kisses him again, and he thinks that there might be a lot to look forward to, after all.

*

I hoped you liked it! (And I now need someone to draw me Regulus in an oversized jumper. Please?)

I still have two prompts left, both for Jegulus, but you can still send me some, for this ship or Sirius/James or Tom/Harry. Either from this list, or something else you’d llike.