#it was so funny. like are u seriously asking if i will play mother mother in front of a group of teens in a residential psychiatric facilit

[kylejsugarman]

i love when teens have no idea that the "niche" thing they believe no one older than them knows about or could ever understand find out otherwise. when i was working at the home, one of the kids thought they were being so sly during music request and was like "will u play this song called 'oh ana'? :)" and i looked them in the eyes and said "do u honestly think im going to play 'oh ana' by mother mother HERE" and they were visibly stunned that i knew what mother mother was 😭 like my friend, i was once 15 too

[caruliaa]

deciding if i want my text post about my father for today becuase too many would be whiny to be about how i get very terrifed anytime he raises his voice and thats prob not normal (which i already knew but yk) or a snarky "how come my dads on discord i though that site just pushed and agenda and tricked people into thinking theyre gay? that why i wasnt allowed it right?"

[mujeans]

MY ONLY LOVE, MY ONLY ONE ✦ LCY

SYNOPSIS ✦ you and anton’s relationship through the years - because maybe not all love has to be young.

“if we’re both still single by the time we’re thirty , let’s get married.”

TAGS ✦ anton x f!reader, one-shot, angst, fluff, non-idol au, yn has mommy issues, slice of life, bffs to lovers, slow-burn

WARNINGS ✦ mentions of drinking at a bar, reader isn't really referred to as y/n or _, just "you" 😭

WC ✦ 4k

PLAYLIST ✦ only by leehi, still into you by paramore, every summertime by niki, toothbrush by dnce, bad by wavetoearth

AUTHOR'S CORNER ✦ was originally meant for heeseung, but i changed it lolz also ik i said i'd post it in a few days but i finished it early and wanted to put it out so i hope u enjoy!

13

snobby, proud, self-centered - these were the words that described anton's first impression of you.

he'd just moved to town, tagging along with his parents to the local mall when his mother stopped in her tracks, causing him to nearly walk into her. he looked at her confusedly when she suddenly gasped, and squealed someone's name, before she practically ran up to another woman, who he'd soon find out to be your own mother.

"guys, this is my old friend from college," she'd told him and his dad. "and this is her daughter," she said as she gestured to you.

you'd been few inches taller than him, so he was intimidated by you and immediately got the impression you were looking down on him. (well, you were, literally.)

"why don't you two kids go to the arcade? here, my daughter has a game card," your mother spoke as she ushered you two away whilst the adults went somewhere else to catch up. anton and you awkwardly stood next to each other as the parents left you two alone.

once they were out of sight, you seemed to deflate; the intimidating aura wiped and replaced by a more relaxed and amicable ‘you’. somehow, you felt more human, and he let out his own steady breath when you smiled and held out your hand for him to shake.

“sorry, my mother can be a lot to handle. you play DDR?”

turns out, you were way more fun when your mother wasn’t around.

16

holding hands was something you two did often.

your friends would often tease you two about it, but neither you nor anton thought much of it. it was completely platonic, right?

but nonetheless, you two were relentlessly asked if you were dating, even when one or the other was in a relationship with someone else. in fact, your closeness had led to your first and most recent boyfriend breaking up with you.

"can you believe it? everyone knows we're literally just friends," you ranted to anton later that night. "so what if we're close? he himself had his own girl best friend - several in fact!"

anton hummed to let you know he was listening, busy working on an assignment that he'd spent far too long procrastinating.

"i mean, how insecure can he be? is it really that unbelievable for a boy and a girl to have a completely platonic relationship?" you paced around his room, not caring whether or not he was listening. you just needed to get the day's frustrations out - and where better than anton's comfy and personalised room?

something about the hanging leaves, band posters, the warm lamp in the corner lighting up the room, it was your favourite place to hide when your mother would be in another one of her moods.

"i'm never going to date again. ugh."

"you sure about that?" anton half-heartedly asked.

"yes. if i have to sacrifice our friendship to kiss some guy, then no thanks."

anton turned to you with a smile playing at his lips. he didn't take you seriously at all.

"anton..." you whined. this wasn't funny to you.

"sorry, sorry," he said, but you could still hear the laugh in his voice. instead, he took your hands in his apologetically, the warmth a familiar gesture.

"if you never date again, then i won't either."

"anton, you've never dated."

"well, it's like you said. if i have to sacrifice our friendship to kiss some girl, then it's a no for me too."

he stared at you sincerely. you guys knew you both would probably still go on to date other people, but the promise felt real anyway. what with the way he was staring up at you.

"swearing yourself to celibacy for me? how sweet," you relented, sitting down on his bed, your hands still clasped in his.

suddenly, an idea popped into your head.

using your linked hands to pull him closer, his chair rolled over, knocking against your knees.

"anton, let's make a pact: if we're still both single by the time we're thirty, then let's get married."

18

graduation came faster than anton expected, and he only realises then that he's known you for five years now.

as expected, you and him had taken lots of photos together (wait, when did he get taller than you?), and eventually your families decided to dine together at some fancy restaurant after the ceremony. it a celebration of the two of you leaving high school, and moving onto the next chapter of your lives: university. something you were particularly stressed about.

"why is applying for uni so hard?? i'm just a girl - just accept me!"

anton could empathise with that sentiment - he'd been an exceptional student, yet his lack of curriculars had ended him up on three waitlists, and with one rejection. not to mention how complicated the process was, what with all the different requirements for every university. honestly, he felt like he'd been lied to by all those people telling him not to worry.

looking over at the parents busy in conversation, he noticed that the both of you had finished your meals already.

"can we go? i'm gonna take her out for a drive," he asked them, gesturing to you.

surprised by the sudden plan, you looked to your parents for approval.

"aren't you going to stay for desserts?" your dad asked.

"i'm sure we'll find something sweet on the way," anton replied simply.

"well, i'm okay with it," your dad agreed, looking at anton's parents who nodded back.

you watched him turn to your mother, a silent argument spoken through their eyes. she reluctantly sighs, a sign of surrender, and you cheered on the inside as anton pulled you away and out of the restaurant.

going for drives was something you and anton always did when either was stressed or upset. windows down and music blared as the sky turned an array of colours, it really felt like the movies in moments like this. you sighed contentedly, head propped up on your elbow as you stared outside. the wind combined with ONLY by LeeHi being the only sounds between you and anton.

"ah, i'm not sure if i can do this whole university thing," you confessed your thoughts. "if applying is already this hard, i can't imagine the real thing."

"it won't be this bad. c'mon, we'll be together, right?" anton's voice replied.

"always."

silence engulfed the two of you again.

"i want to do something crazy. something that'll make her mad."

"yeah? any ideas for this crazy plan of yours?"

"hmm... what about..." you trailed off, thinking for a while.

"what about a month-long trip around europe?"

anton's head snapped to you, eyebrows reaching his hairline.

"seriously? she'll actually lose it."

"not that she already hasn't already done so several times before," you grumbled into your elbow. "besides, i'm always sticking to her stupid rules. i just want to do something 'rebellious' before we get thrown back into classes and assignments and homeworks and blah blah blah..."

a pause. then, “let's do it. where do you want to start?"

"really? you'll do it with me?" you perk up, finally looking at him.

"duh," he rolls his eyes, as if you ever leaving him alone was such an unimaginable thought. "let's figure out those visas first though," he added as an afterthought.

19

2 Notifications yn : you free later this week? yn : feels like i haven't seen u in forever

anton sees the notifications later that night, and sighs as he pushes his hair out of his eyes. he takes a quick look at his monthly calendar.

to be truthful, the two of you had been swamped with finals and work this past semester, so you hadn’t been able to hang out as often as you used to.

seeing that the next part of his coursework wasn't due until next saturday, he decided he had just enough time.

anton: what about tmrw? 12pm at café bleu

"i was thinking..." you started. "what if we do another month-long trip this summer? like we did last year.”

anton grunted at the thought.

"honestly, i've stayed up countless nights this sem for this stupid assignment. i wanted to catch up on sleep thus summer.” i don't think i really have the time for another trip.

"oh. that's okay! we're both going back home anyway, so i'll just come over to yours like always."

"sure, if you want to watch me sleep all day."

but the way he said that - it was a clear no. he didn't have the time, not when he was going to spend all summer trying to catch up on missed sleep.

"never mind, then."

the waitress placed your orders in front of you, and the two of you began to eat in terse silence.

looking at him closely, you notice the darkened eyebags, the pale skin, the way he hadn't even bothered to wear a nice outfit. anton had been pretty cold towards you lately, and he felt guilty, but he couldn't help it. stress was a bully everyone was a victim of.

seeing the way your demeanour seemed to shrink, he was hit with a wave of shame and regret, and took hold of your hand.

"hey, remember that show we watched in senior year? it has a prequel movie coming out soon. we should watch it together."

you perked up immediately. "really? when?"

"november, i think."

he frowned when you faltered, but then you said something that completely sent his heart to the ground.

"i can’t. anton, i'm going on a study exchange programme."

19

talking to jake was easy. talking to him was nice.

in the three months since jake arrived from australia, anton and him had quickly become good friends, (although he would never be able to replace you). so of course he's sad that the exchange programme was coming to an end soon, and jake would have to leave for home.

however, that meant you'd be coming back too, and he was far more excited about that. the past three months had felt empty without you, even if you were a bit absent from his life for some time before the programme started.

so anton finds himself at café bleu in the same spot you'd told him about your plans, but this time with jake on the other side.

"we'll stay in touch though, yeah?" jake assured him. "i'll definitely come visit some time, this place is really great."

"i'll be looking forward to it."

"i think you're more looking forward to me leaving though, aye? what with your friend coming back too."

at the mention of you, anton couldn't stop the smile from spreading on his face. he really did miss you.

"yeah, she's my rock. always there for me - well, except for these past three months. hopefully you'll get to meet her when you visit."

"i'd love to meet the girl you've been talking about this whole time!"

"you'd get along well," anton nodded, imagining the three of you sharing a slice of cake at this very café. "hey, why don't i call her right now, and you can meet her? although it's just online."

jake nodded eagerly, "why not?"

pulling up his phone, anton quickly swiped to the favourites tab on his contacts app, and called you. after just two rings, you pick up.

"hey! what's up?" your voice greets him, bringing an instant smile to his face.

"nothing much, just wanted to introduce you to jake - he's the student who came in your place as part of the exchange programme," he introduced the guy, turning on his camera.

"oh, hi!" he hears you say after he turns the screen to face the other.

"hi! nice to finally meet you. hope australia treated you well,” jake starts smoothly.

"trust me, it has. everyone so nice and welcoming, i just love it here."

"sounds like you've settled in nicely, i'm almost sorry you'll have to pack up and leave again. but hey, you'll be back home and reunited with this guy, right?" jake laughed.

"well... about that."

anton knew something was up - your voice had that same tone as when you dropped the bomb that was you leaving for the next three months. just before you said your next line, anton felt his heart sink again like it did the first time.

"i've decided to transfer here.

"anton, i'm staying in australia."

22

once again, anton finds himself in a graduation gown. but for the first time, you're not at his side.

looking at the photos his mother took of him on her phone, he couldn't help but feel a little upset by the lack of you next to him. for the past nine years, he's never had much solo photos; you were always with him, sharing these moments.

but this time 'round, he's completely alone, and your friendship has devolved to instagram mutuals, reduced to liking each other's posts and reacting to stories. the thought leaves a bitter taste in his mouth.

surprisingly, your mother still came to watch him graduate, even if he was only ever just her friend's son.

"oh, anton. you've grown so much since i first met you."

"thank you, auntie," he says awkwardly.

"you know, i miss the two of you. my daughter's all the way in another country, so i barely see you anymore..." she trails off in thought. in the past few years since you left, she seemed to soften up in your absence, no doubt missing you despite the strained relationship between the two of you when you left.

"oh! have you seen the photos? she just graduated herself last week," she fished for her phone in her bag, and began to swipe through her camera roll to show him.

"i wish i could've been there, but i'm not sure she would've wanted that. she's lucky her dad attended instead."

anton shakes his head. "not true, i'm sure she would've wanted you there."

but he wasn’t sure. have your feelings about your mother changed? or were you still upset with her? he doesn’t know. he hasn’t known much about you in a long time.

"i guess we'll never know, will we?"

swiping through more photos, anton's eye caught onto a few of them, where you were standing particularly close to another guy.

"auntie, who's this?"

"ah, him? why, that's her boyfriend, of course." she then turned to look at him oddly. "hasn't she told you?"

he frowned, and shook his head. he's a little off put by the fact that you didn't bother telling him, but then again. you two haven't exactly been friends in a very long time.

and just like that, memories of a pact resurface in his head. it was never going to come true, wasn't it? but if you ended up marrying this guy, anton could never bring himself to watch.

the sound of his friends' voices brought him back to reality. "hey, anton! come over here-" and he forced himself to shake off the thoughts, joining the group instead.

24

anton had been learning to live life without you for the past four or five years now. he had a new friend group, a nice job in the city, his own apartment, all without his best friend. it was hard to unlearn all the mannerisms he didn't even realise he had for you, not until he would get home from the grocery and realise he bought two boxes of sushi like you used to share, or when he'd almost bought a second, folding mattress for when you'd come over for a sleepover, or even just holding an extra hair tie or two on his wrist in case you needed one.

and that was all in the past now, he's finally began to move on from mourning the loss of your friendship. he only thinks about you once in a blue moon, and his life feels like it's no longer on pause.

but you were always cruel to him.

"wait, what?"

right when he'd begun to move on, you came back.

anton stared at you in shock; when he heard the doorbell ring that day, he'd never have expected you to be on the other side. an intelligent 'wait, what?' was all he could muster when he finally registered just what, or who he was seeing.

"hi," you say in that familiar voice of yours. and you almost sound out of breath, although its clear you hadn't run there.

he finally lets you in after a moment, and you explain how you're moving back, and starting at a local company. you tell him about life back in australia, the friends and experiences you made. you tell him about the past five years of your life as if it was just any normal day after high school.

as if you hadn't just completely left him on his own, his other half gone with you.

although the conversation is stilted and awkward, and theres a gap between you that feels wider than the distance between australia and home, anton's still glad to see you. it almost feels unreal, and he wouldn't believe any of this was real if he couldn't feel your weight pushing down on the sofa, or the very essence of you in his living room.

you and anton agree to get coffee some time after you've settled back in, and he asks if you need any help.

"yes, please! its like i brought my whole life from australia back with me, what with all the boxes i need to unpack."

and so, leaning against the door frame, anton watches you walk away again, catching himself wondering if it would be the last time he'd see you again in a while. he had to keep reminding himself that you were back for good.

"oh, and me and my boyfriend broke up."

anton sucks in a breath, and slips his hands in his pocket to hide the shaking. he wasn't sure how he was supposed to feel - angry? relieved? sorry? anton hasn't known how to feel in years.

"just wanted you to know," you spoke into the air, after you received no response from him.

so with an awkward wave, you leave him once again, with a promise to see each other soon.

27

"happy birthday!" people greet as they enter the bar, giving anton a quick hug.

"thank you," he smiles back. "wow, twenty-seven. i feel so old."

"twenty-seven isn't that old," you tell him, hugging him from behind as a surprise. he chuckles and holds onto your arms clasped around his middle for a bit before letting you go sit across him.

"think about it, we've been friends for longer than we haven't!"

"including those four or five years we barely spoke?" you raised an eyebrow at him, taking a sip from your glass.

"shh, what years? we've always been as thick as thieves," anton grins, pinching your cheek.

after you moved back, it didn't take that long to rekindle your previous relationship. somehow, you two picked up right where you left off, like there was never a period in your friendship filled with almost radio silence.

"you two," eunseok sighed with an exasperated but fond tone. "if i didn't know you guys were 'just friends', i would've thought you were dating."

"or married!" sohee shouts from somewhere.

you roll your eyes at your friends and coworkers, the guests. dating allegation were nothing new in your relationship, having suffered from them for over ten years now.

"we have been friends for a while now, huh? fourteen years is pretty crazy."

"i honestly can't remember a time when i didn't know you," anton agrees.

"being 'friends' for longer than you haven't is quite the achievement," wonbin remarks with a knowing look. "personally, i don't have toothbrushes and extra clothes at my house for my friends though."

all this talk of friends and friendship was making your head hurt.

"anton, remember the pact we made at sixteen?"

anton looked at you sharply, knowing exactly what you were referring to, but asking anyway. "no. remind me again?"

with a scoff and a smile, you said, without regard to the fact that everyone was half-listening, "when we promised we'd marry each other by thirty if we were both still single?"

clinks of glass and utensils falling around the two of you, your friends were suddenly more invested in the conversation, not even trying to hide their curiosity.

"you really want to talk about this right now? in front of everyone?" anton murmured, voice low enough just for you to hear.

you stared at him, and then continued.

"well, looks like there's three years left to our promise. three years left to run away from me." that pulled out some laughs.

anton just stared at you with a mix of surprise and uncertainty.

"well, i haven't run away for these last eleven years since, have i?"

whoops and cheers filled the bar; you yourself were surprised with anton's boldness and honesty. you always did wonder why he barely ever dated, only ever having a few flings here and there.

suddenly, you felt a little flustered by his bold declaration, and the implication that he'll wait out the remaining years.

"i..."

suddenly, anton's face morphed into a smirk as he took another sip from his own glass, eyes still on you.

"what's another three years?"

30

"ah, my mom keeps asking when i'm going to settle down," you whine to anton, sitting in his living room as you two share a late midnight snack.

something about it all feels nostalgic, whining and complaining about your mom to him, sitting in his comfy room (or this time, his apartment), with a vinyl record playing in the background. this is home, you decided.

what you don't tell him is that your mom had been more specific with her words.

(when are you and anton going to get married and settle down?? i want grandkids, you know!)

anton laughs lightly, feeding you another sushi. the whole atmosphere was quite domestic, and you wished you could spend the rest of your life like this; with him.

"some things never change, do they?" he remarks with a fond smile. and your heart melts a little.

(hopefully soon, mama.)

"isn't sushi a little heavy for a midnight snack?"

"well, it's not just any midnight, isn't it?" anton asks.

and he's right. it's actually a special one - the night before your birthday.

looking at the clock, you see that it's almost twelve, and you find yourself thinking back on the past twenty-nine years. anton's in most of the memories, something you weren't particularly bothered about. when you two spent that day at the arcade together, something about it all just felt right.

you've always loved change, always wanted more experiences. but one thing you wanted to stay the same forever, was anton being by your side. when you'd gone to australia, it was a slow realisation that some part of you was missing. only when you reunited with anton did you realise why that was.

the soft beeping noise of a clock brought you back from your thoughts, signalling that it was finally twelve o'clock. that you were finally thirty. hearing shuffling behind you, you turn to look at anton for the annual hug and cheer that made your whole birthday.

but instead, you watched in shock as anton sunk onto one knee, and pulled out a box.

"don't look so surprised, now," he chuckles awkwardly. "this was a long time coming."

"i know... i just. i didn't expect you'd do it as soon as i turned thirty," you laughed. "looks like someone couldn't wait any longer."

"can you blame a man who waited fourteen years?"

you shook your head before anton called our your name, even though he already had your full attention.

"my only love, i don't have to hide my feelings anymore. i love you."

with a deep breath, filled with years and years of longing, he finally asked.

"will you marry me?"

TAGLIST ✦ @yoursyuno @totheseok

[umeoniii]

aot women beige flags!

٩( 'ω' )و

mikasa, hange, annie, sasha, ymir, pieck

~

mikasa:

☆ gets super sick easily

and these sicknesses literally beat her ass

she just has a super weak immune system

can go out one time then when she comes back home she’s literally stuck in bed like it’s her dying days.

a common cold for her is like the plague

it seems as if she’s an old victorian child lying in her bed asking her mother for bread and water.

☆ somehow physic

not so much now, it’s not like she has powers

but she has a ‘6th sense’ and she can tell when something bad is going to happen

first time she did it you thought she was joking around

but then she was right because the building next to you caught fire (cooking error…)

you were totally scared of her after that bcs what if she was behind it

then you forgave her (she did nothing wrong?) and tried to convince her to give you a fortune

then she proceeded to tell you that’s not what the sixth sense is for

hange:

☆ really likes playing games

hanges a sore loser though.

this is super funny

super competitive with stuff like board games and video games. and she takes it seriously.

when she loses she takes it to heart.

she’ll throw a temper tantrum and get upset and everything.

she’ll do anything to win as well. cheats and switches the game all she wants, especially when she’s actually winning. but when you try to do it it’s all “no no that’s not how you play!”

you DO NOT want to play uno with hange. enough said

☆ makes impressions of people in public.

let’s say you’re in the car parked and you see a couple sitting on the bench talking.

she’ll give them names and make a voice and act what she thinks is their conversation.

it’s far funnier than it sounds.

if she sees a couple and their friend,

“eh barbra? i didn’t know you were gonna invite your annoying friend, you know how much i hate her!” she’d snicker while staring at the three people

and there’s actually times where you hate it bcs of how unserious she acts.

sometimes she would invite you along to voice someone else

and she would just sit and laugh like it’s the funniest thing ever!

annie:

☆ bargain queen

has coupons for everything in the whole wide world

she has all the apps for everyplace she goes so she’ll get some kind of deal.

her total at the grocery store would go from $135 to $80 bcs she’s a diehard user of coupons

she makes u use them as well and stuffs some in your wallet

she’s a karen for these things as well

if the price tag says it’s ‘$3.12’ then it’s ‘$3.12’ whether the seller says “well that’s last weeks price”

she’ll say “well maybe you should’ve changed it, how would the manager feel if i told them you’re not doing youre job?”

and she’d get it for $3.12

☆ greets an animal before she greets a person

if she seems someone she knows walking their dog she won’t even look at them let alone speak to them

she’ll crouch and pet the dog and start baby talking to them before she gets up and says something to the walker

she actually likes animals a lot

more than ppl

she’d have some kind of shirt displaying that as well

“im more of a dog person than a people person”

sasha:

☆ cant stay on track in a conversation

she could be talking to you about something she heard about someone. then she’ll be like, “speaking of her i remember when me and her went out for these awesome burgers.”

THEN she’ll say “wait because i was actually contemplating going vegan…. what do you think?”

the whole convo switches topics every 2 minutes or so.

you get so confused as to how the conversation went from work drama to when she thinks the world is going to end.

☆ takes the first bite of your food

it’s an unspoken rule.

she doesn’t even say “to test it for poison” she just does it because she wants

trying something new? she gets the first bite. you haven’t ate all day? she still gets the first bite. it’s your favorite food in the whole wide world? two words: first. bite.

and it’s not even a small bite, it’s the BIGGEST chomp she could take.

you’ve gotten so used to it that you don’t care. you just shove it in her face.

because if you were being honest if she just suddenly stopped you’d be concerned and sad.

ymir:

☆ cannot take some things seriously

she could be out w you at a restaurant and see this waiter’s name on their tag

“gaylord”

it’s not even pronounced “gay lord” but “gaylerd”

she’ll turn around and start hysterically laughing she doesn’t even care that the waiters right there

you can tell her a story from work or something that’s completely serious and she’ll still laugh no matter what

☆ lies out of her ass for no reason

you could tell her you tried some cool new exotic food and she’ll be like

“oh i had that when i was 5 and i almost died because i’m allergic to the spices in it”

and it’s kind of obvious it’s a lie but you don’t even say anything bcs she rides hard to defend herself and say it’s the truth

she’ll even go as far as editing photos and calling other people so it would be more believable

she sometimes doesn’t even lie to be funny but just out of habit

these aren’t bad kind of lies and she tells the truth when needed but she still b lyin..

pieck:

☆ cannot save money for her life

she can put aside some money for important stuff and it would be gone in a flash

worst part is the money is wasted on totally useless stuff

like finger puppets

what are you gonna do with finger puppets when you’re stranded for miles?

tries harder to not let it happen

then it happens again and she tries to justify it by saying that maybe a corn butterer was a great investment

(it wasn’t)

☆ can sleep anywhere at anytime

we all know this don’t we…

but it’s horrible

restaurants, floor, toilet

she could probably go to sleep in the club if she’s tired enough

she doesn’t look dead when she sleeps (unlike connie)

she looks very calm whether she’s in a deep sleep or taking a power nap

and she probably gets a decent amount of sleep at night, she just naps bcs… she wants to?

♡

a/n: at least 3 of these stories are actually real things i’ve faced with friends and family LOL so this is so funny to me. some of these aren’t even beige flags and are lowkey hcs, let’s just pretend alr!

[filmbyjy]

i loveeed ur poly imagine!! Could u make more? Maybe like what dating each ship is like?

a/n: oooo yes of course!! and so sorry for taking so long with this request😔 been extremely busy.

taglist[perm]: @ja4hyvn @ahnneyong @milklix @kar0ki @sugarsunoo

-

enhypen poly: what is it like to date each ship (popular ones)

| HEEJAKE / RAMYEONZ

man this ain’t fair >:(

sim jaeyun share some of heeseung with me :(

bye bc jake acts so baby girl around heeseung it’s actually so funny and cute at the same time

I mean honestly, same. jake, you have a valid reason to be acting like that

but anyways, what is it like to date heejake?

well for one thing, you definitely would be third wheeling them most of the times

“hyunggggg, come quick!! the round is starting!”

queue heeseung bolting back into the room as you were sitting on the bed.

don’t be sad though. they do hang out more than you hang out with them but they know when to step in and make you feel loved.

I also won’t deny. you’ve got two most flirtiest people to date

so pretty much expect to get attacked 24/7

because seriously they will out of nowhere give you that sexy ass look before leaning down to kiss you

which btw kissing your lips is their favourite past time.

100% makeout session like most of the time.

jake does it the most though. heeseung will just be playing his game.

“babe, i’m gonna order something.” heeseung says as he turns around to you and jake literally making out on the bed.

“let’s get some pizza.” jake says after he pulls away from lips. he goes back to kissing you after heeseung hums.

they are also clingy so enjoy that

| JAKEHOON aka SOULMATES

with heejake, your relationship is more chaotic but with jakehoon, it’s more chill.

when it comes to the both of them, I believe jake is more chill whilst hoon is the chaotic high energy one

literally manhandles you on the bed to get a kiss from you

“STRONG MAN.” sunghoon shouts.

jake is still cuddly but he plays it more safe.

for one thing, they will constantly ask you to choose between layla or gaeul

“babe babe, layla or gaeul?” jake says.

you can’t choose either one of them😔 they are both too adorable

“asking me to choose between layla or gaeul is literally like asking me who is the better boyfriend.” you deadpan.

“so, layla or gaeul?” sunghoon says.

you never answer that question and choose to avoid it at all cost.

ah speaking of layla and gaeul, you officially have two fur babies!

which means you are dubbed as layla and gaeul’s mother

and yes, you get to cuddle layla and gaeul. if the boys are out doing their own thing, you have layla and gaeul to yourselves

now put aside the puppers, I believe jakehoon are pretty affectionate.

sure, sunghoon is all tsundere and shit but really he just gets a little flustered to be soft.

so like just give him a big hug and cuddle

| JAYWON / MEOWZ

bro, I wanna date jaywon

THEY SEEM SO BOYFRIEND AND PERFECT CANDIDATES OF LIKE POLY RELATIONSHIP

THEY’D TREAT YOU SO DAMN RIGHT I SWEAR

jay makes dinner while you and jungwon just sit and cuddle

like hello?? that’s the most perfect scene

and if you are the same age as jay (like me😏) then both you and jay will baby jungwon

“wonie.” you pout.

“noona.” he smiles.

STOP THATS SO CUTE. I WANNA CUDDLE JUNGWON👺

UNFAIR

affection with them is the best

jay loves cuddling you

in fact, the both of them curl up to you like actual cats☹️🥺

this is them with you

I want this yoi

and yes that means you have joined the yoi cult

every single sentence you have includes yoi bc of jungwon

“jagiya, do you want to eat?” jungwon asks.

“yoi.” you answer.

“yoi.” jungwon says.

thats true love right there🫶🏻

| SUNKI aka please come back I miss you two together💔

god sunki was something else :(

i’m going to like say this was puberty and ni-ki still loves sunoo very much

I know the boy still adores him

anyways, how is it like dating sunki?

well for one thing, it feels like you are babysitting ni-ki

you wanna try to have a normal date but nah ni-ki doesn’t allow it

sunoo already planned like a picnic date

but suddenly it’s a football date??

but like the both of you aren’t complaining much, ni-ki is still baby. you want him to live out his childhood as much as possible

ni-ki is extremely cuddly whilst sunoo is okay with affection

“noona, i want a hug!” ni-ki appears out of nowhere with his arms wide out.

you give in bc ni-ki deserves it

the only time he doesn’t deserve it is when he plays pranks on both you and sunoo. neither of you can take it

“should we give ni-ki the silent treatment?” sunoo asks.

“how about no cuddles till next week?”

“noooo noona :(( please i need cuddles.” ni-ki pouts.

STOP I WANNA SQUISH HIM :(

I wont lie, yours and sunoo’s patience has definitely improved a lot since ni-ki was in the picture

like dude you may just become jay’s level of unbothered

[stars4-max]

Reasons why I think I'm certain character from twisted wonderland.... under the cut

tw — talks of starvation, isolation, death, abandonment, underlining stalking, horror, bullying... not talking of these by a lot but there are mentions so heres your warning

Idia, Malleus, Riddle, Rook, Azul

1. Idia Shroud

❝ Hey. ...So, uh, can I go now? ❜❜

— Okay hear me out. Listen. If you knew me personally or even if you don't I think you'd realize just how often I don't leave my room or go outside even if i want to

— I'm relatively always on the internet reading, playing games, drawing, watching YouTube, yknow.

— I don't go to sleep at reasonable times even when I say goodnight and if it weren't for the fact I'm tired 24/7 with no real energy I would NOT be sleeping in for even an hour. ((which happens anyway sometimes))

— I dislike irl interactions (unless I trust u a bunch) and I honestly try to avoid it as much as I can.

— I'm only /open/ to close friends(who I will see as family), my partner, or my cousin and I'd let them enter my space with no consequences

— I forget when I should eat and just avoid it whenever I can/want to because of personal reasons.

— Sometimes I forget to care for my hygiene ((dw I shower everyday when I have the will to stand))

— I put myself down faster than you can blink or I keep calling people names ((none offensive, think like... idk, tree or smth.)) to hype myself up

— I really.. and I mean really.. have a lot of family oriented trauma and if I could I would genuinely make a robotic family of how my family was before to me.

— that's not it but it gets more personal as I go on so erm

— #1

2. Malleus Draconia

❝ You aren't afraid of me. But I'm starting to become afraid...of losing you. ❜❜

— Now. Hear me out. #2

— For some reason, when I would ask my friends of what they first thought of me it was always "I was intimidated" or something of the sort and I would genuinely get so confused while looking like this.

— I don't get invited much to anything or get asked if I wanna join something a lot but theres this one person who makes sure to ask me if I wanna play games or watch videos together a lot like Malleus and Yuu ((PLATONIC YUU FOR ME DAWG. I SEE HER AS MY MOTHER.))

— I get isolated a lot in my family and if I wanna be around people I gotta do it myself (which is hard) and sit there but still be overlooked

— I'm not as in touch with my emotions as I make myself out to be, I'm very much out of them and I'm only really acting as to how I think people would want me to

— I don't understand human customs hel. Like I genuinely get so confused and be in awe when I see things others see like everyday

— I have big issues with abandonment and death when it comes to close friends (I'm talking like 4 year friendship and stuff.) or family I've grown attached to (my cousin), I'd genuinely do anything if it meant they'd stay with me ((vague spoilers lol!?))

— I take what my friends say very seriously if they aren't indicating that they're joking no matter what I sound like. That being said I make jokes unintentionally sometimes when im not even meaning to be funny

3. Riddle Rosehearts

❝ How was that? Do you understand the full extent of my capabilites now? ❜❜

— You don't have to hear me out on this one I'm a little shocked too.

— When I was younger I used to be wayyy too bossy and rude and if anyone even apposed me I would get angry and metaphorical go "off with your head"

— The only reason I woupd be so bossy and rude was because of my family and how they'd bend to my every will and encourage my behavior to others because i was a "golden child"

— especially my mom. She would see my bossy self and go "thats my mini me", looks and her personality

— As I grew older that bossy nature lessened of course but there are times i get angry when others dont have the same thought process like me and don't do something correctly in my eyes

— The only reason I don't let that bossy nature slip by is because of the fact I became my own ace and punched and told myself that I'm not the addition of my mother and I'm not the queen of the world

— of course I'll still follow rules but if they're like... unnecessary I'm not following them at all. Especially if its smth like "u MUST tie ur shoes five times" suck my D-'EYE'-C-K fr. 🐈

— I still have anger issues but I try and not let it slip past either. There was a time I got so angry that I was shaking and I had to be held back from attacking someone ((metaphorical "off with your head"))

4. Rook Hunt

❝ Non... Speak not. At this point, I can hear your inner voice just by gazing into your eyes. ❜❜

— I'm not as shocked by this

— For the other three it's more personal but for rook its in all caps PERSONAL. I see beauty in literally all things even if it truly is the most ugliest thing in space

— I can watch people from afar without getting caught exactly but enough for someone to get restless if I want them to be

— There are times I find information of someone on accident and I will be going deep into it. Like deep into it and then I'll forget it because it's not anything needed at that moment

— People either feel safe talking to me or unsafe and I cannot explain why bc even I dont know.

— I would wear outdoor boots for/with everything if I could and ik it would make people scream in horror.

— talking about horror i would watch detailed horror movies just to say how beautiful it can be and the symbolisms.. etc.

— I can also read characters kinda well??!?! and write them sorta well???!?? idk how to explain it but give me enough time with watching a character and I'll tell you exactly why I think they act the way they do or think the way they do or feel the way they do or how they would react to xyz, etc.

— even when I or my friends dont like someone I don't just base my reaction on that ((like I'm not a fan of neige or vil but if you told me to choose between the two I could not. both of their characters are good and if you wish I can even try to explain how.))

— I had a phase where I would speak in one language for a while ((spanish)) but i forgot what I used to say however half the time it was always me sayinf "i love you" to others i loved

— I called someone my butterfly once i think???? Cant remember who

5. Azul Ashengrotto

❝ What do you think? I have remarkable potential, don't I? ❜❜

— IF YOU KNEW ME IRL SINCE BASICALLY BIRTH YOU'D UNDERSTAND.

— I used to get bullied for a lot of things, my weight, my hair, my skin, my clothes, how i act, my glasses, my grades, how my moods would change drastically, my gender, etc

— So even when I was younger than I am now, I would see if others needed me to do something so I could gain favors or just get blackmail to raise over their heads for them to do smth for ME

— I was a people pleaser and a people eater no in-between.

— Unlike azul I didn't have a floyd or jade with me and it was just me myself and I

— LIKE azul I got a lot of people indebted to me lol.

— I would change myself and how I acted with people irl and on the internet to get literally every favor i could. I would know everything abt someone and they would feel like they HAD to help me with smth bc of that or bc i would show my more pathetic side

— I got so insecure of myself that I would try to take down any pictures i had of myself so that I could be "free" of the embarrassment.

— my family wouldn't help

— unlike azul I would do a lot of things to ensure i was skinny and cute and nice to others perspectives that I'd starve myself... so um.... yeahh.......

[paganminiskirt]

for the gta ask meme!!! 🔎 🚫 🧠💬 plus anything u want to say about husbandkiller! lol

🔎2. What is your favourite mission?

Knee jerk response is "anything including Lamar," but I'm gonna edit that to Hood Safari or Crystal Maze. There's a bit of breathing room to do the missions how you want, the dialogue is funny, and they're both still early on in the narrative.

🚫4. What is your least favourite mission?

Who likes the towing missions? I fuck with Tonya, but the game never makes anything substantial out of her character, even though they very much could have. She seems to exist primarily to be laughed at. She needed more attention & care.

🧠16. What is something you wish the game had more of or had done differently?

Rockstar is The Handholding Gamemaker™, so you've probably already heard this complaint, but I wish their were fewer mission directives like "walk to the x" "get back in the x" "wait for x," stuff like that. The player could use some room to breathe.

The last act of the game, where it starts taking itself more seriously, could've been drawn out for longer, and less watered down with gags. Michael's family could've had some depth; they could've left his ass after Meltdown, or at least had more emotional involvement in it. Since The Third Way is the canon ending, it could've been more complex as well, ala the final missions of GTA 4. It seems like that was a possibility at one point.

On that note, they should've let us play as Lamar, if just to hear his car crash voicelines & put him in some pretty earrings.

💬9. What is your favourite quote from the game?

"When names is on a motherf*cking board, I wanna see my name at the top of that motherf*cker and next to it, it needs to say "Winner"

“Peach Body Oil, Fake Guns, Hair Extensions. Sh*t, I Love You!”

“Tough? Listen, I grew up in five states, two countries, fourteen different homes, eight fathers, three care homes, two correctional facilities, one beautiful, damaged flower of a mother, I’ve served time, my country, your country and myself. I’ve committed every mortal sin, I’ve loved, hated and searched for meaning, and do you find me saying things were tough? Do you? Listen, kid, if you take one thing away from me, it is that self-mythologizing and self-pity are for the weak. You got me?”

[icharchivist]

icha!! I finished awakening moon :) it was very good and i can see why u love chikage! I have two BURNING questions up top though.

1. do we ever learn what the exact job of the organization is. I guessed espionage/assassin/various shady business before even starting this act so personally i’m very very happy i got there at least. hmph. I’m pretty good. but do we ever learn more about… actual job details?

and 2. do we ever get a real explanation for chikage’s “I don’t like women” line. it’s so abrupt that it’s funny but also this is the one information my sister has about chikage and it’s not easy to defend against lmaoooo. I don’t for a second believe chikage’s story abt his mother is the right one because first… if that is real it’s a bullshit excuse. like hello dude. have u ever talked to One More Woman than ur mother. izumi can’t be that special. i feel like that isn’t supposed to be totally untrue since he like… shoves izumi away after making sure she doesn’t get run over that one time? but my working theory is that izumi startled him so badly that one time he was like “i have to make sure she never touches me again” and decided the best way to do that was… whatever he said. and then he keeps being standoffish to izumi when they’re alone bc he’s already gone past the point of no return so may as well just drop the pleasant act. that line is so wild to me though because like really apart from that he is pretty normal around izumi. like. what’s going on here it’s going to haunt me.

ok now onto the chronological stuff… this is a lot more chapters, so I’ll be quicker, and anyways I feel like i set up my initial feelings and thoughts pretty well in the last ask so i don’t need to say too much stuff. anyways i feel like here a whole lotta stuff Happens but it was mostly playing out things i’d expected to happen for the most part? but i might also jump around time a little bit because of that…

anyways when they were practicing that thunder scene I was thinking that he sounded as easygoing as always. so it was nice to hear izumi back me up on that one. you're correct the voice acting here is really wonderful. wataru hatano you're amazing! and well. i mean. listen. shaiapouf as a character Is. a Character but the voice acting for him is pitch-perfect so yeah. skill. i felt like chikage goes through a Lot this arc but seriously, the voice acting for him throughout just like, consistently impressed me.

izumi’s thinking to herself he isn't good at showing emotion bc he just sounds shallow and empty. wow u really did not hold back there. i've been thinking this for a while but i want to throw homare at chikage. it would be fun for soooo many reasons. like chikage has to contend with how homare is around hisoka and everyone but also the whole homare deal of like “i’m incapable of being a normal human!” i imagine that would strike a chord somewhere. even now that he’s like reconciled with hisoka it would be rather interesting.

love the deeply hassled sigh chikage lets out when izumi asks him to stay back for a moment. I still think its crazy that izumi literally hasn’t said a thing abt how weird he’s being including tsuzuru when he was struggling with his script. also when he dropped that small bottle? My guesses were “dangerous poison serum” and “august memento” and im glad to say i was right on BOTH counts. and the way he goes "If you touched that, I would've never forgiven you." when izumi goes to pick up… chikage is so fun/interesting to me because he’s got this very placid mask for his emotions but the moment that drops he’s soooooo obvious. goes like 0-100. like he does not recover well. i would ask how he survived previous espionage missions etc. but i guess previously he did not have to deal with august and april being dead. But anyways the moment i saw that i was like “hm… hisoka didn’t wash up with it so he probably drank it… did it give him amnesia?” soooooo :) smug smile.

i do like izumi being mad at this whole thing. I mean even up to the end of this event she’s still so confused abt chikage’s women hater thing which. fair. but mostly i really like izumi’s relationship with chikage because it feels like it’s the most antagonistic she’s been towards other troupe members? like when chikage invited her out on that date i audibly said to myself ��hell yeah, PvP” and well. he kidnapped her and then she antagonized him by acting out the entirety of the wonderful charlatan of oz (which, love that she knows the entire script by heart).

the spring sleepover, part two! i thought it was nice that like. itaru and banri were gaming together here and it was banri who was like “um… where the fuck is ur roommate.” it reminded me of how itaru would knowingly be like ah. I don’t think u can just skate by in akigumi. like itaru… yes chikage looks like he wants to leave but i think u are being a little. unwelcoming. tsk tsk. glad tsuzuru and the rest of harugumi react appropriately. sakuya’s "chikage always looks at me when we're acting together, but it feels like... he's not actually SEEING me, you know?" was sooo insightful. thinking about how yuzo said sakuya has that stupid innocent part of rick down pat. i've got to think. that's probably the only part of him that chikage knows too, huh… but obviously sakuya (and rick) are more than that! the “it feels like he's acting opposite to a doll instead of a person” line really makes me want to sit down with chikage and be like. oh my god. I mean i know the organization u work for is for sure illegal but i also think it’s bad for ur mental health.

the moment they decided to prank him by tampering with his food i Knew that chikage was gonna get mad lol. like as an assassin / whatever multi-talented job he has i doubt he’d take kindly to it. and then he laces izumi’s food later. lol.

hisoka going “I’m scared to fall asleep” made me really worry… but his flashback scene was so fun to watch. I don’t have much to say abt it since we get the full explanation of that last scene with august later, but i am confused about them mastering japanese…? like, my assumption has always been that they were natively japanese since um… i feel like. people would point that out otherwise right. and it wouldn’t make sense for their names to be japanese otherwise either… maybe they are and were just like. out on the streets in a foreign country u probably wouldn’t learn japanese, huh… or is it just like. anime logic.

anyways izumi got kidnapped that was so fun. quoting from my notes when i realized it was gonna happen “oh he's totally kidnapping izumi. this is the best possible outcome actually. i wanted to see them fight.” I was confused as to why chikage was getting seen by Literally Everyone bc it’s like. didnt u research their schedules. but then i realized it was on purpose lol. I really liked that izumi figured out the chika-usa thing, like, immediately! and started gushing about it lol. it was nice to see chikage open up a bit. and then she quoted august which i’m sure was sweet and not at all doing irreparable damage to chikage’s psyche. well rip to her for a while. i do think it is sooo funny how muku is like maybe they ran off and eloped! same vibes as juza seeing sakyo and his mom and thinking theyre together. i’d say its a sakisaka/hyodo thing but no. i think like at least 50% of the troupe is just like that.

chikage never being able to sleep unless he’s like totally alone because he can’t feel safe otherwise is… sad. also its such a fun contrast to hisoka! i have been thinking abt this a lot actually bc like both these characters have their own sleep quirks and also this episode is called awakening moon? which i think is obviously like. that bright moon over august’s death… but it’s also like, an awakening, which i think suggests like, the recovery of hisoka’s memories as well as chikage’s awakening to like… the truth of that night and that hisoka hadn’t betrayed them at all… but i think it’s such a fun word because like some of the most important breakthroughs in this episode don’t center on waking up at all. in fact they hinge upon the opposite: sleep! hisoka sleeping to remember and chikage sleeping around sakuya… speaking of that scene where hisoka sleeps, winter is SO SWEET throughout this entire episode. like genuinely every time they show up they’re so sweet. the way homare says he’ll keep a lookout and pay hisoka back for mmmbm! and the way later when hisokas like i have to do something. on my own. all of winter troupe comes to him and is like hey i noticed ur sleeping less… can we share ur burdens? and the way tasuku catches him when he immediately falls asleep. so good. also azuma SPECIFICALLY being the one to wish him sweet dreams! considering… everything, surrounding azuma’s own troubles with sleep and the whole good night sweet dreams from nocturnality… that got me.

december 2nd being the night before they did their plan makes me think like??? is Hisoka’s bday literally just the day he lost his memories? what a day. like did he pick that as his bday after losing his memories or was that. but goddd. what a day. love chikage and izumi in that hideout room like izumi really went “I’m gonna annoy u through my acting. fuck you.” until hisoka showed up. him doing the whole putting himself in someone else’s shoes with chikage… inspired by homare… that made me clutch my heart. especially with homares line of “you will be fine. I am sure you will know what to do” like the SURETY in that!! now I’m very glad hisoka didn’t end up drinking the amnesia serum bc chikage’s shout of “don’t!” was so distressed like wow. this is the last piece of his family he has left. but OH MY GOD. could u imagine the alternate universe where chikage did not stop him and hisoka drank that potion. and winter loved him again and again and again. like my god the drama there. also chikage seems like he would spiral so incredibly deeply because of it and it would be incredibly angsty but also it would be so interesting. I do no think a3 has the time for that since they have like, plays to do and can’t properly pull that off and make it sincere with the proper amt of time but oh my god could u imagine… on the other hand I think chikage has so much love for his family of august and april that he would never have let hisoka drink it.

I love how when they get back though izumi decides that she can totally just LIE to a troupe of ACTORS when she’s proven she’s not that good at acting… it’s good hisoka backs her up or stuff would’ve gotten crazy… I hope ppl do get to know more of the truth eventually not because I want people to be mad at chikage. mostly because I want to know the full details of his job already and bc I think it’d be nice if he had more than like One Person to share his thoughts with. it’s good he does have the one, though. and I love spring troupe reaffirming that they’re family! that rly carried throughout the whole of awakening moon, it was so good.

chikage trying to leave was one of my favorite bits of awakening moon! like itaru u are SO funny. first its like "hi chikage :) u are the best roommate i couldve asked for" (and i think he calls him sempai?? wild) and then the moment chikage leaves he calls up sakuya. pfft. he knows what he’s doing. and then sakuya!!! I KNEW that coin toss was gonna come back and I KNEW sakuya was gonna get it right The Once!! and see through his lie! and right when chikage was abt to leave!! play parallels secured hehe. also sakuya’s "isn't there anything we can do for you? isn't there anything we can do to help?" the hisoka&winter parallels! I loved how sakuya was just like. u and me. sleep on the stage. like wow… I laughed at tenma for naively going “let’s all sleep together!” as the solution for summer troupe but like clearly this technique is working well for harugumi. chikage going "I... can't be your family. I betrayed you. I don't have the right." though… my god. I have to think this is very telling in terms of how he perceived hisoka, too, in that after his betrayal he was no longer allowed to be part of chikage’s “family”—but he still tells tsuzuru he has 2 siblings, in that conversation he has with him, so I assume he was really struggling with how to feel about hisoka—as far as chikage knew, hisoka had betrayed them, but he was also the Only Family chikage had left… that’s wild. it was cute to see sakuya recount spring’s first three plays but very strange to see sakuya talk abt clockwork heart, unknowing of the entire mizuno situation. I mean, it makes sense he wouldn’t know it well, but it’s still wild to me. I also like how chikage’s sprite isn’t wearing glasses here! also when he said "When I'm playing Oswald, it's like I'm drowning in all his emotions, too. It's suffocating." I was like ah. tsuzuru did his job well, then. for real that play sure did work well on improving chikage huh.

sakuya phrasing his relative situation in terms of like. him as the audience and everyone else on stage is such an apt and compelling comparison! and then chikage and sakuya sleeping together and then the whole of harugumi piling in… that cg was SO CUTE. everyone’s just so adorable there! sakuyas expression! citron sprawled on top of them! everything!

as for the play performance, I’m glad closing night went well! the costumes for this play are sooo good. I’ve been thinking abt itaru and citrons in particular like hello? hello? yuki great job. although I wonder why masumi is wearing just like a regular fucking jacket under his scarf deal. he doesn’t look that magic to me. gosh I imagine the prop work for this play would be insane tho like. how’d they deal with the hot air balloon and stuff. and the magic. I also listened to the corresponding song and liked it a lot! for some reason it reminded me of gusty garden galaxy, like the mario music? oh and hisoka almost calling chikage april and then the teasing lilt in hisokas voice when he says "chikage, they're calling you an ape" that was so cute. but also like cmon guys. chikage's birthday is Right There. that could be such a normal nickname. I also loved homare’s et tu, tasuku?! line. that was so funny

I loved that tenma sincerely did not realize chikage kidnapped izumi. and then he, taichi and sakuya all totally believed chikage’s lie. which I did not fall for even a bit. tsumugi going "I'm glad all the loose ends have been tied" though made me sit there though like okay what the fuck does the Organization do tho. huh. that’s a pretty loose end. also does chikage really hate women. they haven’t touched that as of this line. but then hisoka saying he wants to tell winter his memories even tho it could be selfish! so sweet! and loved how tsumugi and azuma are both traditionally supportive while tasuku and homare are like you're worried about being selfish NOW? i love you that way anyways.

and THEN the last cg with chikage and hisoka reminiscing. that scene was. oh my godddd. the way u can like Hear chikage going from fond reminiscing to having his voice break down into crying… it’s soooo good. and his sad smile!! and the moon!! I’m so glad these two were able to find each other and reconciled really… the only reason I didn’t cry was bc hisoka said that family was "inseperatable and irreplacable" and I had this moment of “oh. citroncore” bc I’m like 99% sure that inseperatable is not a real word and hisoka meant inseparable instead. I’m taking it as a sign that he did not 100% master Japanese even tho it’s definitely just a super minor localization error/typo. and then chikage helping izumi wash dishes in the morning :) like I said before I like that these two r a little hostile to each other like.

chikage: you're shamelessly optimistic

izumi: why thank you.

chikage: that wasn't a compliment

that exchange was so fun. like wow okay. I also liked how izumi was like hm. let’s throw chikage into opening night. I’m sure he’ll feel frustrated by how he doesn’t measure up and just Lets That Happen. I think it’s a sort of fun difference since she’s usually pretty gentle and sweet to people. not that she isn’t to chikage! she definitely is I mean he kidnapped her and she was worried abt his sleep schedule. but I think she like is more challenging towards him and that’s a rly fun dynamic. and then chikage making up a lie to justify his women hating. I’ve already explained my confusion on this so I’m just gonna conclude with ITS KUMON AND HE WANTS TO JOIN AKIGUMI!!!!! WHOOO!!!!!!! I’m SO hype for that like. I feel we’ll get some fun juza (and possibly banri?) bits that way… I actually have heard a bit abt kumon in that I feel like I’ve read smthing abt him having a kind of weak body? so we shall see about that but I’ve got a feeling that may be the reason he’s unable to join akigumi—since that’s an action-based troupe and all… I’m very excited since it seems like he hadn’t even thought abt joining summer troupe initially!! also I am so excited to see summer in full force again. hands clasped in prayer tenma & juza main story interactions? my secondary color trio? I don’t think that’ll actually happen but 1) I can dream and 2) I can write abt it. lol. I would also love to know the flower meanings of what chikage sends to hisoka pre act 2!!!

HELLOOO FRIEND OMG! so quick to finish it!! congratulation!!!

AND DLKJFDL GLAD TO SEE THEN IT ALL MAKES SENSE. Chikage. Good.

For the two questions.

Pretty sure the implication is espionage/spy works with various level of shady involved. In the EN server we get a little more glimpse into what Chikage does in particular, other than that i think in the JPN server there's been various events just talking more in depth about the Organization and their involvement in it.

Okay so I'm on a whole different level on it because i legit heard his story about his mom and went "yeah makes sense". While he's never that mean to anyone ever, he is deeply uncomfortable around women in general in others backstages especially and i remember a backstage late in the JPN development that mentions it's really a gut feeling and he's trying so hard nowadays to improve on that, and improve on knowing "if Izumi doesn't make me feel this unwell around women then maybe i'll be able to solve this gut reaction i have around women". I think the way he violently pushed Izumi away was definitely to keep her away because he had no reason to play nice with her, and usually he behaves just, normally, but he's really uncomfortable around women still. I would be inclined to believe he didn't tell EVERYTHING regarding his family situation but to me i would assume that something bad happened when he was a child enough to make him think as a defense mechanism "women=bad". To me there's abuse involved. The Organization is hinted to be all male and Chikage is hinted to have been recruited very young, so it's possible that the turn of event is, Chikage had a toxic upbringing and, esp with a child mind, blamed his mother for not protecting him, then he moved in an all male organization and meeting women was so anecdotical until late in his life that this defense mechanism truly got worse since then and now he has a hard time getting rid of it. Personally i can't see his argument fully as bullshit because hhhh i had my mom get me from household to household by getting in relationship with abusive men who were abusive toward me and my reaction was more to blame my mother for not listening to me and doing as she pleases than to specifically get mad at those guys, so, the whole reasoning Chikage is saying in this part (if we take it as a truth) to me makes sense. It's not fair nor reasonable but trauma, especially experienced as a child, rarely is.

On a more practical level, i think it's just meant to be a romance trope lol. While a3 is more found family focused a lot of backstages, esp SSR ones, and every 3rd mini chat, involves the characters flirting with Izumi (as a self insert more than a character), not to mention it happens as well on homepage's lines for like, vday or bday and stuff. And Chikage is definitely built around the trope of "he can't stand women (for traumatic reasons) but he makes an exception for you/you make him feel safer/he's willing to grow past his trauma as you make it easier for him.". It's pretty cheesy and i do dislike that it's the trope he was plagued with but that's kind of the reasoning. So yes Izumi "can be that special", that's the trope ahah.

but yeah no personally i'm team he must have had a deep trauma and at best he says the truth and it's only because he felt abandonned when he needed help by a parent, and at worse, something much worse happened for him to be this uncomfortable with being touched by women (because he generally handles conversation with women just fine, like, he treats women pretty normally, and it's when they get touchy or invade his personal space that he gets visibly uncomfortable. and even there he never gets physical in reclaiming his bondaries, he generally lies his way out in a pleasant way, it's really only with Izumi in the intro chap that he is this violent. When he really told off Izumi it was to make sure she kept her distances and else it's really only when they got physical that his reactions were a little more pushed, in general he handles being around her like a normal person. He was mostly violent because he didn't want to play nice with Hisoka's found family, in any other circumstances he takes upon himself.). And that's kind of a horrifying thought DLKFJDF the cause of the behavior was never extended on though.

On another note he does work on it a lot and came to acknowledge that he can't just let his trauma response get in the way of his life and interractions with 50% of the society, and he's been working on getting less uncomfortable around women. but yeah it's not "hate women" in a misogynist way sorta, it's really just, yeah.

anyway back to the chapter,

DLKFJDLFK RIGHT Wacchan is incredible, truly has a Voice Range. He really has such a nice voiiice and it helps building Chikage as a character so much i love it so much.

Izumi literally doesn't hold back against prick i love that for her <3 I find his acting really interesting as to inform us on his character, and you're right, i feel like Homare would be a good person to lock him with. (Hisoka's next evil plan i'm sure. Now that they're reconsiliated he can be evil on purpose like a little brother <3). I feel like the difference is that Homare is just like that while Chikage is probably just… something he forced himself to be so much it became as natural as breathing, as a spy and everything, and that's why once Mankai pried him open like an oysters he had a really hard time sorting it all out. Like what do you MEAN his mask doesn't protect him anymore. And i think having Homare being all nodding about the lack of human emotions esp now that the dam has been broken would just have Chikage stares into oblivion like, this is my life now.

GOD YEAH about his mask. IT's so fucking cool. It's really just, as long as he can act detached and pleasant he handles everything just fine but the moment things go awry he's struggling a lot more with his emotions and i just muah But yeah you're right, for the intense reaction to the potion i do think it's a mix of still grieving August so much that anyone touching a memento of him would be like fingers in his gapping wounds, and the fact Izumi is the person that "took Hisoka way from him" with the whole theater, or, at least, so heavily linked to how Hisoka "moved on", he especially becomes more irrational with that. Since at this point he still blames Hisoka for August's death, it's having an extention of Hisoka taking the last bit of August he still has away from him. And thus, irrational behavior. Basically yeah i think he handled spying much better in term of lying and all ahah but at the moment he's still grieving and handling it in the poorest, least healthy way, that anything that ends up touching the grief itself makes him act irrational.

you really got it all figured as you read ahah i'm amazed!!!! congratz!

I do love Izumi's behavior on it. While a lot of the others actors have been prick in their own way, they at least contained it at throwing it at each other and never at Izumi. She never really had to deal with any of them being antagonistic toward her and it was interesting to see her dynamic with Chikage when Chikage basically decided to be A Menace. And I love that she's allowed to be angry and frustrated about being treated like that and how much she had to handle when Chikage became even More Of A Menace.

Spring sleepover. Always good. I do love that Banri was able to see it too and like, Banri&Itaru, the duo of "tried to leave the Mankai company" being both "huh. your roommate isn't really trying to stay in the company. That's bad.". Meanwhile yeah, remember how in the Autumn Chapter when Banri is about to leave Sakyo tells him "you can leave but don't think you'll be allowed to come back" and Banri leaves anyway and he has to beg Sakyo to come back? Like i feel like Banri was really MHMMMMMMMMMMMMM WE DONT DO THAT HERE. I ADORE Sakura's comment though, yes. It was so insightful and Sakuya is so perceptive i love him so much. Sweet son. Yuzo's comment is so funny god. yeaaaahh agreed on the comment for Chikage, the org cannot be healthy. Like, man. This is not a healthy way to live his life.

I didn't even notice the parallelism between Spring putting thing in his food VS him putting stuff in Izumi's food LMAOOOOO, payback in the worst way possible (assassin style). I loved to see Spring do something that stupid. They want to bond with him so bad!!! but he's still A Menace so this was the worst plan they had in a long while.

Oh Hisoka not being native Japanese was pointed out actually? in the Winter chapter during the spy arc, Homare mentions that Hisoka indeed sounds shady as a "foreigner no one knows the origin of". in the anime i know they took it one step further with the spy confronting Hisoka and saying "it's true you entered this country illegally and are laying low in this theater company to escape crimes?". Hisoka and Chikage are definitely implied to not be Japanese. They can still be East Asian so people wouldn't pick it up as easily, but they're not Japanese. (there was a lot of talk back in the days about the possibility of Hisoka being Russian, both because of the descriptions of intense Winter from his youth and because he is compared to a Russian Short Hair Cat in the Christmas play. Do of that as you will.) And "Hisoka" and "Chikage" are not their birthname either, they're codenames August gave them for the mission. The only reason Hisoka remembers it as his name is that since it was a name given by August, it was the only time he was given a name out of love, and as such, he held on to this name. But it's also why Hisoka and Chikage's name have the meaning they have. Hisoka's is "Secretly" and Mikage involves "shadow" in its imagery, similarly for "Chikage", and "Utsuki", Chikage's last name, is a way to say "April". August didn't really think too far about all of this lmao. That's one of the reasons i mentioned the organization to be International in a previous ask tbh. And yeah they both learnt Japanese for the job, but it's implied they both speak a lot of others languages. Chikage says it a little more obviously (and he talks about "flying aboard for work" a lot) and for Hisoka we know he's very good at English as well. Hisoka fearing falling asleep though is so :(((.

"THIS IS THE BEST POSSIBLE OUTCOME ACTUALLY" LMAOOOOOOOO You're right. yes. But yes Chikage is just shady on purpose, he's so stupid i love that about a man. But yess i love how Izumi figured out the Chika-usa thing right away. It was really her moment of "Chikage redemption arc". And then he kidnapped her and it was just, ah. but yes it was so nice to see Chikage open up and Chikage getting some emotional and psychological warfare from Izumi reminding him of August.

yeah no it's a 50% of the troupe is like that. TO BE FAIR TO THEM THOUGH. THIS IS NICHE KNOWLEDGE BUT I NEED TO SHARE. But in Azuma's birthday SSR that came out like, a month before Chikage's intro chapter, Azuma…… kidnaps Izumi to a resort island with him and then specifically sends texts to the Mankai company to say "heheh we're on a date" and then leave them on read and take Izumi's phone when Masumi and Sakyo start to send death threat. Of course it's, not the same kind of kidnapping, Izumi was mostly conscenting to joining Azuma but didn't expect the trip and didn't expect they'd stay up the night, but MY POINT IS that IN RECENT MEMORY they had Azuma and Izumi "eloping" and leaving everyone on read because Azuma is a MENACE. So IN THEIR DEFENSE i think they have reasons to jump to the wildest conclusions since they can at least go "well. It did happen once." and then look at Azuma with a look of reproach while he's just 😇

yeah Chikage not being able to sleep is sad :( it is indeed a fantastic contrast with Hisoka yeah. For the record the official nickname for April/December/August is "Gekkagumi" because "Gekka" means both "month" and "moon" ("gumi" is troupe). In Chikage's song he talks about being alone under the shadow of the moon and the word he uses for that is especially "Gekka". (he also talks about "tears falling in secret" and the term for "in secret" there is "Hisoka", which also would express how his emotions and vulnerability is something he can only afford with Hisoka,at this point at least.) I think this is also the tongue-and-cheek reason why the Moon is such an important illustration for those two, since it's a wordplay on the fact months and moon is the same thing. Which therefore adds further to how their own sleeping cycle add to it yes. I really love how much Hisoka and Chikage are built as foil to one another. Even on their designs! Like, Chikage has green hair and clear eyes, Hisoka has white hair and green eyes. Their hair part in the opposite direction to one another, like it's mirrored. And i don't remember where it's mentioned but the state of Hisoka's hidden eye is a secret and it's not impossible that it's because he's blind from this eye, VS Chikage wearing fake glasses (he doesn't need them) giving an illusion of perfect vision. With the irony, of course, that it was Chikage who was blind to the truth. and ofc Sugar VS Spice and their general personality and, of course, their sleep patern.

But yes in Sleeping we trust. I think it's such a sweet way to show that Hisoka's "quirk" which Chikage mostly frowned upon, ended up being both of their salvation and the indication that they can both lay down and rest. Chikage being kept awake is a shown of his lack of trust and amount of things to work on which shows the toxic hold the Organization has on him, and as such, Sleeping is instead associated with the safety of being able to rest around people who are here for you. It's really such a nice thematic they work on here.

WINTER IS SO SO SWEET I COULDNT STOP CRYING. Literally the whole scene about how "just how heavy is that sin you bear?" "perhaps it's heavy enough for the five of us to carry together" IN TEAAAARS IN TEARS IN TEARS LOVE IS REAL LOVE IS IN FUYU im fine im fine BUT YOU GET ME. They're all here for him in their own way and it really showcase their arc so far too. From Homare learning to read his emotions, Tsumugi ready to be here to carry his troupe with confidence, Tasuku being there physically to do that, and Azuma helping him find solace in his sleep… It's just. God Winter is so well written. The payup to their arc was so good.

Hisoka losing his memories on his bday is so sad goodness. BUT GODD YEAH. YEAH THIS WHOLE BIT. YEAH. Between Hisoka going to confront Chikage and just, knowing Homare had supported him this whole time, and this surety like you said!! god i love Fuyu i love Fuyu i love- I love Chikage's reaction to it all god. Like, i think he convinced himself he wanted to destroy December because it was the normal thing to want right? He thought Hisoka killed August, and faked his death, he blamed Hisoka for the distress he was in, and so, he put all of his distress and turned it into rage and revenge to carry on. But he never actually wanted harm on Hisoka and it's only when harm almost happened that he realized that. So blinded by revenge he was about to destroy the one thing he should have been happy to still have. His pure despair when everything sinks in and especially that Hisoka did nothing wrong is just. Everything to me. Like seriously i wasn't too hot on Chikage at first because i was so pissed at how he was treating Hisoka, but the moment the line "what do i do now…. in the end the one who was betrayed by his own family… was you by my own hand" was uttered i did a 180° and was just oh okay i would die for Chikage actually. Thanks for your time. Just the absolute devastation of realizing he was becoming the monster he had seeked to destroy, and turned the destruction he felt was righteous as a way to cope against the only person he never actually wanted to harm? God this is good angst. This is SUCh an interesting character bit. (his chara song also kinda confirms it, "rather than fooling others, i'm better at fooling myself" i'm putting my fist in my mouth)

BUT YEAH GOD the alternative universe where Chikage was just a little too late and Hisoka had drank the potion is just. GOD. Winter would love him all over again, they'd be here every step of the way, and Chikage would probably be spiral so damn much because of the guilt. I see why a3 didn't do it, like you say, but holy shit what an amazing angst fuel this idea is. but yes, agreed, Chikage loves his family too much to let it happen. Everything he wanted about Hisoka's destruction was just his grief lashing out and was never something he actually meant.

i think it's actually a good time to mention the flowers Chikage sent? the first bouquet he sent were Marigolds. They represent "Jealousy, despair, grief" in the Japanese flower language. (in other flower languages it can also means happiness, joy and good luck, but it depends how much Chikage knew that) There's a clear mix there, but to me it seems Chikage was basically sending his anguish to Hisoka. His Jealousy that Hisoka could move on (or how close Hisoka and August used to be), the despair he's been into ever since they both left, this grief. But also perhaps a part of him was wishing him happiness, joy and good luck. The second bouquet was of Zinnias. Zinnias, in the Japanese Flower Language, means "thoughts of absent friends, I mourn your absence". This one is far more explicit. Could it be about August? Of course, but i don't think so. I think it was a way for Chikage to call for help. He was genuinely mourning BOTH of them. He also lost Hisoka himself, in his mind. He saw Hisoka bloom on stage and befriend more people, and he lost him, he was no longer part of his life. No matter how they were before, Chikage loves Hisoka dearly and he still lost him.

(and i mean it for the call for help, do listen to his song: he keeps calling for help in it. Song is set before the conclusion of Awakening Moon so it's still his revenge self singing.)

So yeah it's just. a lot. I love them a lot.

LKDFJLKDF Izumi lying to everyone sure was funny. She tried. Thank you Hisoka for the back up. But yes i'd love more people to get to know about Chikage's background at least. And yes!! Spring is a family! and that includes Chikage, who lost his family, who was about to destroy the family he had left, being forcefully adopted into his own new family. fun fact! the flower associated with Chikage is the lilly of the valley, which means "return to happiness". It fits doesn't it? He lost his family but now he can have a new one. He can return to being happy….

yeah Itaru calls him Senpai, he's very cheeky about it. Itaru facing him was indeed so funny and i do love the whole thing keeping in mind Itaru almost left the company, it really was "okay time to unleash our secret "stay in Mankai" weapon. Sakuyaaaaa we need yoouuuuuu". AND THEN SAKUYA!!!! YEAH WHEN YOU FIGURED OUT FOR THE COIN TOSS I WAS EHEHEHEHEH!!! Sleeping together sure works super well for Harugumi. It's really so funny. And god yeah it sure tells a lot about how he saw Hisoka doesn't it…. man those guys. I think it's also that, just… Hisoka has been his sibling for a huge chunk of their lives when Hisoka betrayed him. Like i mentioned i think a part of him knew all along and he was fooling himself, that he still cared too much for Hisoka to turn this betrayal around. It was still his brother, no matter the amount of pain they went through. But Spring is a new family, Spring is barely getting to know him, and it's not fair that he would join this family while he only ever joined to hurt them and betray them. And also, to be fair, at this point Chikage flipped the script around as well in term of who betrayed who. He sees himself as the one who betrayed Hisoka for being unable to listen to the truth. I think it's also a case of Chikage holding himself to another standard. It's okay if his brother betrays him. That's his little brother, of course he can accept it. But it isn't okay that Chikage betrayed him, and everyone else who tried to be a family with him. Like Chikage is taking the blunt of his actions more brutally. And i think it can reflect on the idea of Chikage mostly taking it all upon himself, that he's the one who has to manage and know not to hurt others. If he says the truth about his living condition with his mom and step dad, it could be indicative on how stuff happened there, but because of what i said earlier, i'll leave it at that.

It was nice to see them discuss the Spring troupe's play but what i love about it is that, Chikage replies about it in awe on some levels? like "what Clockwork Heart wasn't finished until the very last day? could never have guessed", it means that, he didn't just come to see the Winter troupe plays. Probably because it was easier to hide his attention from Itaru by taking tickets for all the plays, or at least also Itaru's, and also perhaps to collect information on everyone. But it also feels like he got to care about those plays still enough that he's surprised by all of this. Like esp Clockwork which is also a story about grief to an extend. Knowing to lock away something to bring both of you peace until the System stops hunting you down and all. Considering Chikage threatens Hisoka telling him that if the Organization learnt he was alive, they'd destroy everything Hisoka cared for, i wonder if he could project there. Learning to lock away the knowledge that the one he cares for is still alive because the "system" isn't ready for it yaknow? But yes it's weird to see mention of Clockwork without talking about Mizuno, so wild.

Speaking of plays and the way Chikage must have felt watching them: i mentioned how i think seeing Hisoka playing characters uncaring about death/assuring that avoiding death isn't an option, probably messed Chikage up in that level of grief he was into. But i need to remind that MMMBM is a story where Hisoka investigate a murder that happened between siblings, with one of them seemingly "betraying" the other, only then to learn that the death was a mean to free them from the prison that was the obligation the sibling was tied to. I don't think Chikage would have been fully receptive to the whole plot other than "sibling kills siblings" that could have fired him up, but the whole scope of it is so daunting.

Anyway back to the scene itself, i also really like Chikage's sprite here, he looks so nice. AND HELPP. Tsuzuru's thearpy session via Theater winning once again.

i loved to see Sakuya express all of this, it's so good. AND THE HARUGUMI ILLUSTRATION IS SO GOOD. THEY'RE ALL SO CUTE. cat behavior. And the fact that despite all of them piling in, Chikage didn't wake up. That all of them makes him feel safe enough that he can sleep with all of them!! and the way all of them nuzzle next to them. also Tsuzuru's "oh well if you can't beat them." before joining them is so cute to me, the one person who could have opposed to it went, yknow what, fuck it, nap time with the family. They're all so adorable i love this CG so much.

the play was SOOO GOOD. the costumes were all amazing, indeed they all look so nice. Masumi probably was such a lazy wizard the laziness carried to the design ahah. The effects must be incredible yes, it must be a blast to see. I want to see it so bad!! and especially i love Citron's voice acting? like man it really shows how much he improved with Japanese he's so good. and omg for the music. I can imagine yes. Fun fact on the Blooming Live stage what they did for the hot air balloon was that they had a plateform that could move in the crowd in which they sang many songs (a lot of the group songs, but also Captain Sky's pirate song with the platform looking like a pirate ship), and they had a hot air balloon's prop attached to it, it looked SOOOOO cool. I doubt a3 in universe could do that but i still think about it so fondly.

Hisoka teasing Chikage is EVERYTHING, i love it so much. I wonder how everyone sees it now like, Hisoka was clearly distant with Chikage at first, sometimes downright distressed, and now he's there teasing the fuck out of him in pure little sibling behavior. i love them so much. And Homare is always so funny god.

HELPPP the trio of Guillible Kids. to be fair Tenma is going to fall for Chikage's lies a lot. There's a minichat later about how Chikage/Itaru/Citron all team up to lie to Tenma and Tenma is genuinely "i didn't think it was true but the three of them says it is so it must be right???" like. baby. Who allowed them together they're a menace. AND HELPPP. Tsumugi just knows of the loose ends at the company!! as for the Org well. Well! That's a problem for future them! BUT YESS WINTER'S REACTION IS SO MUCH. I love Hisoka worrying, Tsumu and Azuma reassuring him, and Tasuku and Homare teasingly roasting him. They're my troupe i love them so much……….

And the CG is SO GOOD i love the amount of emotions these two show there it's guuuh :(((((. BUT HELP FOR THE TYPO. i'm sure it's a typo but i'm taking the HC of Hisoka stumbling on Japanese as well, because why not, that's so funny.

and yess the hostility between Izumi and Chikage is so funny. they really have a neat dynamic, i love it very much.

One last thing about Chikage i don't know where to put but, Izumi jokes about how Chikage can now help them carrying Hisoka around and Chikage goes dark like "i did that all my life i'm not doing this again" < he says while lying because of course he would do it again, it's Hisoka.

and funnily enough, the very first time Chikage appears in the whole story is when Winter is doing a street act and right after it, Hisoka falls asleep and Tasuku catches him, and it's right when Izumi thinks THIS that Chikage slides into the screen:

IT'S SO SPECIAL TO ME LIKE. Hisoka's own personal taxi forshadowing. But also possibly Chikage seeing Tasuku taking care of Hisoka the way Chikage used to take care of him and having a hard time with the fact that he has to see his little brother, whom he was mourning, having easily replaced him.

(also also also pleaaase read Chikage and Hisoka's Coin talk. They're so freaking cute.)

ok now we can close the book on Chikage, now,

AND KUMOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!! it's going to be fun, how could it not be! I'm of course not saying anything but Kumon's plot is really neat so i hope you'll enjoy it! I hope if it doesn't give you Tenma&Juza content it gives you some fuel to imagine more Tenma&Juza content, this is the best we can hope for!

And for the flowers i shared them earlier when it made sense to share them eheheh :3c but yeah, here's a trip!

Congratulation on knowing more about Chikage!!! Here you go, here you know him, my Menace of a man. God what a good chapter.

Hope you have fun with the others chapters and i'm still looking forward to see your reactions :3c take care!

[katasstrophy]

Dream anon again! I had snippets from a dream of being Rin's friend and Bachira's friend who was crushing a bit on him lmao and one was cute and the other ended out of pocket smh. For Rin, it was just a peak of being at a football after party with him, and him after two hours of reluctant socialization, looking like a wilted Lily and dissociating in the corner. I cam over, poked his cheek, and asked if he was ready to go, and he gave a deep sigh, and said he was (1/4)

hi dream nonnie!! gonna put the rest under the cut so i don’t clog the dash but awe 🥺 how sweet 🥺

'contractually obligated' to stay longer. So, being my chronically ill self, I told him I'd fake sick and we could go to the movie theater and for that new horror film he likes. and this boy looked like I held the Holy Grail out to him, he looked like he was going to melt into the floor. 'Really?? we can leave??? Have I told you lately that we're friends??' and then I smiled and pressed the keys to my car in his hand and told him he could show it by starting the car. He was off like a shot (2/4)

Chigiri could NEVER. Ended up telling his manager I was sick and Rin was helping me and told Isagi that Rin and I just straight up didn't want to be there anymore lmao. As for Bachira, I was friends with him in college and I minor in art and knew his mom through my classes, and I was hanging out with her making her cocktails while we talked about sexism in general. It was honestly a very freeing and deep conversation about being taken seriously and I remember telling her how much I admired (3/4)

her as a single mother and amazing artist, and she talked about raising Bachira and her own monster. We got mad wasted and sappy in her studio, while throwing darts at paint balloons to make a piece (like in the Princess Diaries!!). Woke up the next morning, having slept on her studio floor smh, with the worst hangover and her sunshine ass in the kitchen making pancakes, and it ended with her catching me staring at Meguru dreamily, as he excitedly whispered to me what he and his boys did (4/5)

yesterday (though when he first woke up, he had the GALL to chastise his mother and I for drinking). I literally nearly toppled from my bar stool to gaze after him as he went upstairs to change for the day (we were going to feed the Nara deer with Isagi, Nagi, and Reo) and his mom came over to me, smiling very sweetly, took my hands in hers, told me to close my eyes, and when I opened them, his mom had put a box of condoms on my hands and I freaked out so hard I woke up. (5/5)

LMFAO rinnie baby driving his car like a madman bc fuck interacting with people is so real. mario kart music plays in the background while he breaks twelve traffic laws (kidding he could never.. this boy is SO straight-laced he barely speeds. BUT road rage?? abso-fucking-lutely oh my god he gets so mad it’s a comedy show there bring popcorn!!)

BACHI’S MOM GIVING U CONDOMS PLSSSSSS and you waking up nonnie that’s so funny AKIZHSBDBDNDK i always thought it was such a WIN when ur s/o’s mom likes you to the point you could like gang up on ur partner together LOL but that is a treat hope you got some good sleep tho!!

[ayearlaterletters]

Jul 18 - Jul 21

Written on July 21st at 6:39 pm Before I start recapping our days together let me just say hi baby and good morning, good afternoon, and good evening. :) I miss you so much and I like you <3 ahhhh I want to see you tonight. I have the urge to see you again even though I just saw you like 4 hours ago lol. Surprise beach night drive? ^_^ We will see, hehe <3 !!! Alright, let's start the weekend recap!!!!!!!

Thursday July 18th Recap: I believe you worked and it was my day off! We hung out with Marcus and watched his volleyball practice! Before you came to pick me up for Marcus practice, I got my nails done all white, which you liked. My nail tech lady, whom I haven't seen in months because I haven't got my nails done by her in a minute or she's been away traveling, brought you up. i was blushing so hard because I cant believe she remembered that conversation but I'm glad she did because I love talking about you to everyone else but you - at that time you didn't know I had a crush on you. You thought it was cute that I liked you so much in that time period. Then you picked me up, picked up Marcus, drove to the YMCA and supported his volleyball practice then out of nowhere around 8:30 the power went out lol that was funny. Then me and Marcus decided to gang up on you keeping you outta the loop lol but I asked if he was down for pizza and we all got pizza! :) yay then we dropped Marcus off at home you and i and kissed in front of your driveway for like an hour. then we drove to the beach for a little bit kissed some more stared into each others eye then you drove me home. the end of our goodnight. Friday July 19th: Finally your day off and I woke up so early that day like 7am. I went on my usual 2 mile walk with trooper to the park. I went to Starbucks got myself some ice water, drove home and started packing for our weekend gateway which we had been looking forward to for a week ^_^ I think you were cleaning your bathroom, packing, showering, and playing dress up for your momma because she was attending the rugby game, then finally you came and swooped me up! We made our way to C level lounge and met your mother. I ordered the Korean tofu and you ordered the Mediterranean bowl which was super delicious :) 7.5 rating because I like my bowls hella built with more veggies but it was all good lol. After our delicious lunch we made our way to the hotel and checked in. We made endless love for almost 6 hours. I would repeat this day again, no... i would repeat this weekend with you, but with days off from work, again. We didn't have dinner, we just went to bed after being in each other's embrace for hours. That was a great way to end the night by falling asleep in your arms <3

Saturday July 20th: Sadly I had work in the morning which was a drag but luckily my day was super easy because I was SS and not a lot of special services that day. After you picked up from work, we went to get breakfast at the Lazy Hippo and you had your first mimosa. You got strawberry french toast rating 5.5 and I got a breakfast burrito with country potatoes. Would rate a 7.5 :) After our delicious breakfast, I randomly wanted something sweet and tried vegan rocky road ice cream for the first time. walked around downtown, came across some vendors and met a guy from section 6 selling graphic tees lol for like $40. now I know about different the sections lol I love learning something new every day. things just amaze me what goes through people's minds lol Anyways... after walking around downtown, we made more love but originally you wanted to change clothes and get out of the outfit that you started to feel hot in. which you didn't tell me until after we finished making love and woke up from our nap! You also tapped out that day which is funny because u learned about the refractory phase! You seriously thought you had erectile dysfunction omg lol. i won the championship belt temporarily because that night I called defeat when you seriously put me to bed lol. we did get indian food from the royal India then walked around downtown even to seaport. we stopped at this fancy restaurant, animae which is an expensive ramen, steak place I think lol I just heard about this place from word of mouth. lovely ambiance and beautiful people, we belong there because we are beautiful people. After we walked around downtown we made our way back to the hotel and ended up snuggling because we had some questions for one another like do we still like each other. we passionately kissed and made really great love to end the night.

Sunday, July 21st: I went to work and girlbossed. luckily i got out before 10am and had enough time to get back to the hotel and pack my belongings before check-out time. however, you were giving me those damn puppy eyes asking for one last time before we leave our lovely weekend. after our festivities, we went to ob and got Luigis pizza. we originally were going to Hodads but the line was stupid long but its all good because I got to try your pizza spot! After pizza I got some mid thai tea and then you drove me home. i lowkey wished you took the long way home so we could spend more time together vibing, holding hands, and looking at you. we both knocked out and now we've been on the phone together since 17:00 and it is now 22:00. Goodnight my lover boy, who almost said I love you today hehe

See you another time i cannot wait to see you again and let's have another good week ^_^ more adventures and blessings to come!

10:13 pm Much love, appreciation, and gratitude, angel your taxi driver.

Angel Numbers: 10:10

[iwaizumis-bitch]

five years later | miya atsumu

read part 1 first!

kageyama x reader x atsumu

warning: past angst, mentions of sex, slight physicality

five years later. five years after. five years ago, your ex-fiance cheated on you. ex-fiance, who?

funny how you used to date the best setter in japan, and now five years later, you still are!

over six foot, muscular body, and he could make you laugh. he was just perfect for you!!

tobio kageyama, was his name, of course. who else would you be talking about? certainly not your high school sweetheart who's been benched because he didn't take volleyball seriously anymore.

it was just easy with him. you had dated a professional volleyball player before, but this time it was different. this time you had someone who came home before 11:00, someone who didn't complain all the time, someone who loved you for you.

so who were you to deny him when he pulled a ring out of his sock after winning the olympic final, cheeks flushed red and forehead drenched with and asked you to be his forever.

you could hear him breathing heavily from playing his heart out mere minutes ago, a small nervous smile. you accepted of course, wrapping your arms around him as he picked you up, and for once, you felt like the most loved girl on earth.

your best friend was stood behind you, trying to poof your hair out as you adjusted the white dress over your neck. in 10 minutes, you were going to be married to him by law. you would finally be able to call him your husband.

you hadn’t thought about the man who broke your heart years ago for months. it hadn’t even crossed your mind that he would be there

he was there. alone. his fiance had left him last year. he never really liked her, she wasn't you.

she didn't give him the same smile as you did when you woke up. her hugs weren't as tight as yours. she was never home as much as you. her food didn't taste like yours. her moans weren't the same as yours.

he did anything he could to see you. fuck he even tried to get closer to tobio, and he knew tobio knew what he had done to you. so when he was celebrating the win with the other benchwarmers, and saw tobio get down on his knee in front of you, he couldn't watch.

of course he accepted the wedding invite. it would be rude if he didn't, wouldn't it? he wasn't going only so he could see your pretty face again, that would be selfish.

but when the doors opened, and you started to walk down the aisle, small smile on your lips he felt like he was going to throw up.

he would do anything to be in kageyama's position right now. he would give up his entire volleyball career if it meant he would be the one at the end of the aisle waiting for you.

his eyes were stuck on you as the priest spoke.

'tobio kageyama, do you promise to love, cherish and hold y/n y/l/n when she is at her best and worst until death do you apart?'

'i do', tobio smiled nervously, squeezing your hands.

'and do you, y/n y/l/n, promise to be faithful to tobio kageyama, and take care of him when he is sick and when he is well?'

'i promise', you breath out, and wow. this was it. you had gone through so much shit in relationships, and now you didn't have to worry because you had tobio and tobio had you.

'are there any objections?', the priest asked, eyeing the crowd.

you turned your head, hoping to catch the eye or your mother or father, but they landed on unfamiliar brown ones.

miya. miya atsumu. the man who didn’t deserve you. your lips curled up, because he was finally getting what he deserved for cheating on you.

you smirked inwardly, turning back to your future husband.

‘you may kiss’

you threw your arms around him in an instant, locking lips. you felt his hands come to grip your waist tightly, before pulling away with a teary grin, picking you up and twirling you around.

-

you were in the cubicle, it felt like the first time you were alone the whole night, being the bride and all. you lifted up your heavy dress, relieving yourself. you washed your hands, and left the room, looking down the empty hallway.

‘y/n!’, you heard from behind you. you turned around and saw atsumu jogging towards you.

‘hi..’, you said awkwardly as he came over. he looked bad. eyes were dropped and bags hung below them, lips chapped and skin dry. he mustn't have been taking much care of himself.

he just stared at you for a few moments because it had felt like an eternity since you were in front of him. your shining eyes looking up at him, slightly confused.

‘um, congratulations’, he mumbled, running a hand through his hair.

‘thanks’, you replied, folding your arms.

‘look, y/n i-’, he started the speech he had practiced in his head thousands of times.

‘maybe later, ‘tsumu’, you said, his eyes widening at the use of the old nickname. ‘i have to get back to my husband’, you blinked, before turning around and walking away just like he did to you five years ago.

atsumu stood there dumbfounded. you had changed. you had changed so much, for the better. he stayed in utter silence as he left quickly, driving home, realising he had fucked up his life for good.

a/n: i don't usually write for kageyama but it couldn't be anyone else in this scenario.... pls lmk if u liked it idk im iffy abt it

[choi-y-n]

Choi Beomgyu as Camilo Madrigal

Fluff | Hurt | Comfort | TXT as the Madrigal Family | Encanto AU

Other members: Yeonjun | Soobin | Beomgyu | Taehyun | HueningKai

Note: I swear I've been so obessed with Encanto lately :'>>

° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ His powers ..° 𐐪𐑂 ♡

Beomgyu’s powers are shape shifting,, which kinda fits his very chaotic self,, personally likes his powers :DD

Uses his powers for pranks all most of the time, but doesn’t overdo his pranks,,, like he shapeshifts as his brother Taehyun just to get another round of Arepa or makes Abuela confused on who is who when he shapeshifted as Kai,, He just wants everyone to get a good laugh u know : ((

But asides being a bubbly person that makes the people in the community smile and laugh, He is very helpful to whoever asks his help, one time he offered to babysit a baby for the mother to rest a bit or that time he shapeshift into someone tall to reach a cookie jar for a child

More below the cut

He has a serious side too!! He knows when to put pranks asides whenever his family or friends are in a bad situations,, He puts them as his priority and tries his best to make them smile :’>>

As much as he admits that his powers are cool and fun,, it’s no fun when people doesn’t take him seriously :<< They always ask him to shapeshift into someone and do a funny impersonation or most of the time he is not in his own skin just to make or take care of the people in the community and that just really saddens him becoz it feels like no one wants to see Beomgyu as Beomgyu : ((

° 𐐪𐑂 ♡.. How you met ..° 𐐪𐑂 ♡

This mofo scared the shit out of you when you were kids

You are over at their house most of the time bcoz u were best friends with the maknaes and y’all always plays together,, while you were playing with Kai and Taehyun you asked if you could ask for water,, “I think Soobin hyung is in the kitchen” Taehyun told you that you can just ask Soobin,, you know your way in their house because you’ve been there a lot of times

You haven’t really met Taehyun and Kai’s three older brothers except Soobin who always made snacks whenever the three of you are playing,, but you do know the rumors of Yeonjun and that they say he’s scary and make your life flash before your eyes and he can devour your soul,, you were scared of Yeonjun and you always hoped that you won’t bump into him,,

While you were on your way to the kitchen to look for Soobin, you came across a dark seven foot frame rats along his back in the hallways of Taehyun’s room,, you really hope that you didn’t bump into Yeonjun but it was too late, The figure turned around and grinned at you,, it was Yeonjun,,, feet stuck to the ground, your eyes started to well up as Yeonjun approached you,, you closed your eyes and wished that it wasn’t real

You heard a snicker so you opened your eyes to see Beomgyu laughing “You should’ve seen your face!! HAHAHAHAH” You felt played and angry so you approached Beomgyu and punched him in the gut “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?” You screamed,, you hid you face with your arms and started running home,, Taehyun and Kai came out to see when they heard the commotion and glared at Beomgyu while Kai ran after you “You shapeshifted as Yeonjun hyung did you?” Taehyun said angrily,, “I didn’t mean to scare her..” and after that event Beomgyu sincerely apologized to you and that was the start of your friendship : DD

° 𐐪𐑂 ♡.. How you stood up for him ..° 𐐪𐑂 ♡

His playfulness can come off that he is not serious at any situations, that’s why Abuela sometimes misunderstands him : ((

She often lectures Beomgyu that not everything is a joke and sometime doesn’t see the achievements he has done for the community,, Beomgyu feels dishearten when all he wanted to do was make his Abuela proud of him,, then one day Beomgyu got fed up with everything and accidentally screamed at Abuela saying that she only cares for Beomgyu if he shapeshifts into someone helpful or important

You swear you always have a bad timing when it comes to Beomgyu, Kai has asked for your help to make something for Beomgyu who told you that he has been down lately so you went over and helped him,, like last time you were on your way to the kitchen to ask some snacks for you and Kai and as you were on your way you were met with Beomgyu and Abuela arguing : ( It felt like the first time you met, glued on your feet,, Beomgyu was the first one to notice that you were there and felt embarrassed so he started walking out of the house pushing you to the side,, You saw Abuela frown and you know she felt bad for him

You went to Abuela and hugged her “He often feels that he isn’t important, but I promise you he loves you a lot” You said has you rubbed her back,, You told her that he questions and doubts himself a lot he struggles to sometimes make people happy,, “I’m sorry mi dulce chica, I’ve been too blind to see that he was hurting..” You smiled and tugged her hand “Now let’s go find him”

It was not hard to find him, he usually likes going to your garden and there you found him crouched down and plucking the grass “You know grass has feelings too” Beomgyu turned his head and found you smiling “I’m sorry for letting you see that…” You approached him and hugged him “I brought someone with me” You said,,, he his heart broke when he saw Abuela’s face who looked really sad,, “Mi bebe osito, I’m so sorry… No one could ever replace you, and no one can be as important as you mi vida.” Abuela voiced cracked,, Beomgyu hugged and cried in Abuela’s embraced,, You swear you weren’t crying with them :’> Abuela pulled you into their hug and you joined them :’>

° 𐐪𐑂 ♡.. How he realized that he likes you ..° 𐐪𐑂 ♡

Taehyun actually had to point it out to his Older brother that he likes you,,, “I hear you heart beat faster whenever she’s here” Taehyun snickered and was accompanied by Kai “I dO nOt” Soobin would often tease Beomgyu too by nicknaming you as Beomgyu’s “girlfriend”

Would always try to scare you but it doesn’t work on you anymore after you met the real Yeonjun,, He would always try to impress you by shapeshifting into his brothers and make funny impersonations of them,, One day while the two of you were hanging out, you told him that he doesn’t need to impress you by shapeshifting into somebody else “I like Beomgyu as Beomgyu, not as Yeonjun, not as Taehyun but as himself” and that’s how he realized that he really likes you now

This boy’s heart couldn’t handle you :’>> Whenever you’re at their place Taehyun would always tease Beomgyu by imitating sounds of heart beats,, even their eldest brother, Yeonjun knows that the two of you would end up with each other

It’s wouldn’t be a surprise if Taehyun also knew how you felt,, cause that boi can hear your heart beat faster whenever you’re near Beomgyu,, now the boys are betting who’ll confess first

Spoiler alert, Yeonjun won :D not with the use of his powers but he predicted Beomgyu will confess first :>

Translation:

mi dulce chica = My sweet girl

Mi bebe osito = My baby bear

mi vida = My life

General taglist: @erynandreaaa @00-baejin-05 @definitelynotcesia @btxtreads @choilolatte

©choi-y-n

[rkived]

year 22 (m) — jjk

‘‘I knew you’d be standing in my front porch light, and I knew you’d come back to me.’‘ 

Pairing: childhoodfriend!jk x f!reader 

Genre/Tags: angst!!!, drama, a lil fluff, f2l, e2l-ish, pining, slow burn, smut

Rating: M +18

WC: 11.5k

Warnings: time jumps, underage drinking, jk being a douchebag for most of the fic, reader can’t catch a mf break, mention of character death ((no major one tho)). smut in the form of oral (f. receiving), fingering, nipple play, unprotected sex ((wrap it b4 u tap it y’all)), my being called pretty kink making a brief appearance soz

A/N: i listened to cardigan for the first time n had it on replay the whole time i wrote this so ig u should do it too ! this is my first time posting smut on here but who would i be if i didn’t throw in some good angst ? also tysm to @periminkle​ for being my unofficial beta reader n checking it up for me, she knows i’m constantly looking for her validation n i def wouldn’t post this if she didn’t love it ilu vira thx for being the best ever mwah !!! 

You’re five, cowering behind his mother’s legs, sniffing as tears stream down your face. In front of you both stands Jungkook, there’s remorse written all over his face as his mother stares him down with hands on her hips and a look that just screams that this is only the beginning of his punishment. 

‘’Apologize to Y/N right now Jungkook, or I’ll have your father have a word with you,’’ she threatens with a stern tone, making her son quickly shake his head no. ‘‘You need to learn how to share your toys.’’ 

You peek behind her lanky leg and find the slightly older kid looking at you with narrowed eyes, ‘‘I’m sorry, Y/N.’’ He apologizes with a bow, but he’s obviously displeased with the whole ordeal. 

His mother sighs and Jungkook pouts at the look on her face. She urges you to come out from your not-so-secret hiding spot and to go back to playing with him, even though you seriously doubt that will do any good to what just happened. 

Jungkook’s bedroom door is kept open as he sits back down on his city patterned carpet, you twiddle with your thumbs and stare at the Spiderman poster on his wall. There’s an awkward silence between you two until you feel a toy bump your crisscrossed legs. 

It’s the shiny red car he had refused to lend you before, provoking an argument between you two which eventually made you run out of his room in tears as you ratted him out to his mom. 

‘‘Wooow,’’ you whisper in awe, taking the car in your hands with so much care, treating it like it’s one of your newest dolls. 

Jungkook huffs, crossing his arms as he looks at you with distaste and he’s forced to settle with other boring toys as you giggle to yourself, making the car follow the carpet’s tracks. He learns then to never trust his mother again. If she ever says she’ll bring a new friend for him to play with again, he’ll refuse wholeheartedly.

He doesn’t like sharing his toys, and it’ll probably take him a long time to learn how to.

You’re nine as you hand Jungkook one of the multiple Valentine’s Day cards you carefully crafted the night before with your mother, adding all kinds of pretty stickers and shiny glitter to make each one of them unique. His is different from the rest, though. 

You added hearts to the dots in the I’s, there’s a hint of your favorite body splash enveloping the pink construction paper and it fills Jungkook’s nostrils with so much force that he feels he could gag at the smell. 

‘‘What do you think?’’ You ask the fourth-grader with a big smile on your face, cheeks tinted with a light shade of red as you see him reading the little message you wrote inside the card.

Jungkook lets out a mocking chuckle, ‘‘Are you serious? You like me?’’ He asks you, but it doesn’t look like he’s looking for answers. Your smile slowly fades away, looking at him with glossy eyes, ‘‘I don’t like you, you’re just a dumb little girl.’’ 

His card was the one you had invested the most time in and yet it only took him a second to crumple it with his hand, and another five for him to toss it into the trash can near you before he goes back to his group of friends in the school’s playground.

You learn how to hold your tears in then, thinking it’s a great accomplishment and that maybe now he’ll stop calling you a crybaby.

His friends receive him with high-fives and he smiles with gratefulness because they just saw how much of a badass he can be. Once recess is over and everyone’s going back to their classrooms, Jungkook nears the garbage bin where he had thrown the Valentine's card in, but finds it’s now dirty with yogurt someone tossed inside. 

He grimaces at the sight and sighs, there’s no way he can save it now.

You’re twelve and you’re the only girl in the treehouse who hasn’t gone through puberty yet. It wasn’t something that bothered you until just recently, when it became pretty evident why none of the boys would even give you a onceover compared to the other girls.

“I don’t know if I want to play,” you mumble after Kim Jihyo suggests playing spin the bottle. You’re the only one who opposes the idea, though you could count Jungkook in given as he just sat there without saying a word.

Park Yerim rolls her eyes, “You’re so boring, Y/N!” The comment makes the rest giggle as you pout at being the designated party pooper. 

It’s all fun and games of truth and dares to whoever the bottle lands on and you’ve been lucky enough to avoid the tip of the plastic Coca-Cola bottle to point at you, until it lands on Jungkook who has done a few funny dares so far.

“Alright, Jungkook, let’s make things even more fun!” Jihyo announces since she’s been the one who has assigned most of the embarrassing challenges and questions, “I dare you to kiss one of the girls here for ten seconds.” 

The dare makes the boys cheer with excitement and the girls gasp with anticipation, hoping one of them is the lucky chosen one. Your lips part slightly as you stare at him sitting across from you, he’s clearly not comfortable with the dare, but knowing him, he won’t express his current discomfort. 

His eyes land on you as you stare back at him with concern, hoping that he’ll speak up to avoid himself the embarrassment. Has he even kissed someone before? If this is his first kiss, you’ll witness it alongside everyone else and you can only imagine how terrifying that must be. Even though Jungkook’s always been a brave kid, you can always tell when he feels under pressure.

“Uhm, I’ll uh—“ Jungkook keeps staring at you and you feel your heart start to beat like you just ran the usual ten laps around the gym in P.E class. Are you about to have your first kiss? With him? 

You nod your head absentmindedly, a sign to let him know it’s okay for him to pick you from all the other developed girls who probably have more experience kissing than you do, but it’s okay because you’ve always been a quick learner. 

“Yeji,” Jungkook says after what feels like forever, though it’s only been a mere few seconds, “I’ll kiss Yeji.” He adds, removing his eyes from yours and settling them on the girl with the high ponytail and pink colored nails. 

You bite your bottom lip hard, breaking the dry skin as you feel yourself taste blood. It doesn’t matter because no one’s paying attention to you and instead they’re focused on Jungkook’s neverending kiss with Yeji. 

When you get home that night, you look at yourself in the mirror and frown at your lack of everything. Is this the reason as to why he hadn’t picked you? 

You’re fourteen and Kim Taehyung just sent you a message through MSN in which he confesses to have feelings for you. Your eyes widen, rereading the message several times, rubbing at your eyes just to make sure you’re seeing things correctly. 

You run off across the street to Jungkook’s house, ringing the doorbell quickly for someone to open up. You’re greeted by him looking at you with an annoyed expression, he had to pause his GTA game to come and open the door. 

“What do you want?” Jungkook asks harshly, crossing his arms as he stares into somewhere that’s not your face. He’s anxiously waiting for you to spit out whatever it is you’re there to say. 

You calm yourself down by breathing in deep and out, blowing the air right at him, “Does Taehyung like me?” You ask him, making Jungkook’s eyes widen in surprise and his brows to raise. 

His reaction tells you that you might’ve just discovered a secret you weren’t supposed to and it only makes your heart beat even faster because if it’s true, then this is a pleasant surprise. Kim Taehyung is one of the hottest boys in the tenth grade and he happens to be one of Jungkook’s closest friends. You think he must know something since you see them hanging out at lunch.

“Uh—I don’t know, Y/N.” Jungkook mumbles, rubbing at the back of his neck, finally looking at you and he feels a gut wrenching punch in his stomach at the sight. “Taehyung isn’t a really good guy, you shouldn’t—“ 

“What are you saying?” You interrupt him with a question, confused as to why Jungkook was painting a negative picture of his friend. “He was really sweet with what he said, he thinks my eyes are pretty when they sparkle — I didn’t even know they did that!” 

Jungkook grimaces and sighs, there’s really not much he can do here. You’ve always been so stubborn, so relentless. No matter how many times life tries to tell you something’s not meant for you, you challenge each and every one of it’s obstacles until you take what’s yours. 

“Okay, then what are you gonna do? Date him? You haven’t even had your first kiss yet.” Jungkook reminds you with a mocking tone and you furrow your brows together because, how does he know that? 

You stammer, “I-I have! I had it at camp last summer, actually!” That’s a lie, but he wasn’t there so he can’t prove the veracity of your statement. “And what do you care? So what if I want to date him?” You add with anger, not understanding why couldn’t he just support you in search of true love. 

The thought of dating Kim Taehyung had never crossed your mind, thinking he was way too out of your league for him to ever notice you. But that confession sitting in your MSN chat now served as a nice feeling of knowing you aren’t as invisible as you think you are. 

Jungkook scoffs, “Taehyung would never date you, okay? He’s older than you, he’s cool, he goes to parties and has kissed almost every girl in his grade, do you think he’d really like someone as boring as you?” He doesn’t mean to be so harsh, but you’re just so difficult and impossible to get through.

Jungkook’s used to the trembling bottom lip and the teary eyes that you give him everytime he says something that definitely strikes a nerve within you, but he’s always impressed on how you always refrain from crying in front of him. Last time you did that you were both kids and he probably took the last lollipop from your batch of collected halloween candy. 

“Screw you, Jungkook,” you say through gritted teeth, and if looks could kill, he’d be dead already. 

He looks at you quickly stomp your way back to your house, only heading back inside once you slam your front door shut. Jungkook enters his room to find two new messages in his MSN.

$$ kIm tAaEhyYyuNG $$: it worked! 

$$ kIm tAeEhyYyunGG $$: she fell for it xDxD where did u even come up with the sparkly eyes thing?? that’s gold bro rofl 

Jungkook sighs, ignoring the messages and shutting his computer down.

You’re sixteen and you’ve been invited to your first party. Granted, it was Jungkook’s, but he knew that if he didn’t ask you to come you’d probably tell on him with his mom. No matter what age he was, he’d always fear his mother’s scolding. 

“Drink this!” Park Jimin says with his beautiful smile and you’re starting to realize why they gave him that very same superlative on the school’s yearbook. You take the red solo cup without any second thought, placing the rim straight to your lips and choke once you feel the liquid burn your throat. 

“Ugh—What’s this?” You ask, cleaning the droplets of liquid around the corners of your mouth. 

He chuckles, “Fruit punch!” The liquid is indeed red like the familiar drink you’re used to, but there’s definitely something else mixed inside. “Oh, and vodka,” he adds with wiggly eyebrows as he shows off the small flask he was hiding in his sweatshirt’s front pocket.

You gasp and hand him the cup back, “No, I don’t drink alcohol, sorry.” Jimin rolls his eyes and it reminds you of the many times you’ve received this same reaction from your classmates before. Always a party pooper. He’s about to take the plastic red cup from you until you quickly drink the spiked punch in one go.

The boy howls in excitement, “Woo, go Y/N! Another one coming right up.” 

Jungkook knows he should be making sure everything’s alright downstairs. If his mother notices there’s at least one misplaced object, she’ll know right away something went down in her house while her husband and her were away for the weekend on an emergency trip to their hometown. Leaving him unsupervised only because they both believed their son was old enough to tend for himself.

But Jung Eunha had dragged him into his room with the excuse of wanting to see what it looked like, but the mini tour had turned into them kissing on his bed and Jungkook is thankful he changed his Spiderman sheets in exchange for some boring plain grey ones. Eunha smells like fresh mint and Jungkook is way into his head to focus on properly kissing her.

It’s not until his bedroom door is abruptly open, slamming against the wall that Jungkook literally jumps to his feet, making Eunha gasp as they both look at the person who has interrupted their awkward makeout session. 

“Guk-ah, what are you doin’?” You curiously wonder, a hiccup following right after which makes you giggle. Jungkook���s chest rises and falls with quickness as he notices you look different from the last time he saw you twenty minutes ago when you were talking to Jimin. “Guk-ah, were you—you kissin’ Eunha?” You ask once more after not receiving an answer to your previous question.

“Y/N, are you okay?” He asks in concern, coming closer to analyze your weird state. You stretch your arm out to avoid him from nearing you, making him falter in his place as he studies your expression. 

You hum, “Guk-ah, you busy. Sorry,” you apologize in a shy tone, ready to head back down and have more of that fruity alcohol punch you now found tasty, but you stumble and only avoid yourself from falling by holding onto Jungkook's door frame, he’s already reaching out by then. 

“Are you fucking serious, Y/N? Get out!” Eunha complains with irritation, getting up from the bed and ready to kick you out of his room, but his free arm stops her from getting near you. “Whu—?”

“Eunha, go back down. I’ll deal with her myself.” Jungkook says as calmly as he can, thinking three’s a crowd and dealing with you wasn’t an easy thing in of itself. She’s about to argue, but he interrupts her again, “Go down, now.” 

She rolls her eyes and bumps her shoulder against yours harshly once she steps out of his room, “Whatever, that kiss was shitty anyway.” 

He pretends he didn’t hear that and takes you in his arms instead, dragging you to lay on his bed as you cuddle into his favorite pillow and hug it close to your body. How much did you drink? Why did you even do it in the first place? Jungkook knows you’ve never tried alcohol before, which means he’ll be in big trouble if you show up back to your house like this. 

When you open your eyes hours later, your head hurts and it feels lightweight when you move it side to side. The room you’re in is familiar, that spiderman poster is still hung on the wall, but there are no more toys laying around the floor; they’ve probably been stored somewhere in his garage or sent off to a donation center under his mother’s demand.

The pillow that you’re hugging smells just like him and any other day you’d hold on to it tighter and inhale his scent like your life depended on it, but you abruptly sit on the bed as you’re reminded of how you got here. The action is not appreciated by your dizzy head, but you look around the room to notice how dark it is and there’s no more music playing downstairs. 

You quickly jump to the ground, only to hear a “Fuck, ouch!” from below, stepping on Jungkook’s leg unintentionally. It makes you gasp, looking down to notice the older friend laying on the cold floor, having gotten rid of that childhood carpet of his. His head’s laying on a makeshift pillow made out of a towel and he’s trying hard not to shiver. 

“I’m sorry, sorry, sorry!” You quickly apologize, stepping away from his figure as he soothes the shin of his leg you stepped on. “Jungkook, what happened?” 

He sighs, “Someone decided to drink like five cups of spiked punch knowing damn well it was their first time drinking alcohol, stepped into my room like a crazy person, and then crashed on my bed like they—What’s with the face?”

“Bathroom.”

Jungkook grimaces while he holds your hair back, you’re throwing away all the liquid you had taken with a few additional snacks you had munched on earlier, “Are you done?” He asks in a tired mumble and you shake your head no.

He feels guilty that you’re in this position. He didn’t even want to kiss Eunha, but she was one of the most popular girls in his grade and he knew that if he turned her down she would most likely put a bad word in with the rest of the girls and the guys would make fun of him for being such a wuss.

That would’ve been better, because after laying you down on his bed he had to go down and tell everyone that the party was over, putting an excuse that the neighbors had warned him and threatened to call the cops. They all cleared pretty quickly, but he knew he was going to be the butt of the jokes come Monday. He even had to call your parents to let them know you had gone home to a friend’s house for a sleepover, which he knew wasn’t totally believable, but it had somehow gotten them convinced that their daughter was alright because they trusted Jungkook to never hurt you ever. 

Once you feel like you’ve puked your stomach out, Jungkook hands you a pill accompanied with a glass of water and hands you clothes of his that might be more comfortable to sleep in. 

“Good night, Jungkook,” you whisper once you’re laying back on his bed, still hugging the pillow he preferred to sleep with. He makes a sacrifice to make it up to you. 

His back is going to hurt by the time the sun comes out in a few hours, but it’s okay if it means you’ll sleep comfortably after the events of tonight. “Good night, Y/N.” 

He’s unable to sleep, but finds entertainment in your hanging hand beside his bed. The skin on your palm looks soft and there’s this strange urge inside of him that makes him want to grab your hand in his, but he refrains. 

To calm the current chaos in his head, Jungkook finds peace in the light snores coming from his bed.

You’re just about to turn eighteen and your date to the prom is Jeong Jaehyun, who had only asked you out a day before the event because the girl he had initially wanted to take had been asked and he didn’t have a plan B. 

Jaehyun is okay, at least he managed to get you a corsage that matched the color of your dress. He even smiles in the pictures your parents take of you both as you awkwardly try to look comfortable with his arms around you even though by then you had only exchanged a few sentences. 

The prom’s theme is Summer Nights and you think it’s fitting considering this is the very last event before the graduation ceremony, meaning that you’d most likely never see most of these people ever again. You had purposely applied to a college that was outside of your hometown for that same reason. You’re ready to live the life you’ve always wanted to live, without anyone judging or knowing you. 

Your date spends most of the night talking with his group of friends as you’re left alone on your table, looking at your well manicured nails. You knew you weren’t going to get the same prom experience the high school kids on T.V enjoyed, but you at least hoped it would’ve been a little more fun than this.

A tap on your shoulder makes you turn around to see Jungkook trying to loosen the tight tie around his neck. He looks incredibly handsome and you suppose his mother helped him pick the suit out, Jungkook rarely ever wore fitted clothing, so this is one of those once in a lifetime moments..

“Hey you,” you say and he gives you half a smile, wondering why you’re sitting by yourself at an empty table when everyone else was either mingling or dancing. “Where’s your date?” You ask with curiosity, you’re surprised that Jinsoul isn’t trailing alongside him given how she had behaved for the past week ever since he asked her to come with him. 

“Retouching her face or something,” he answers casually, “what are you doing sitting here? Where’s Jaehyun?” Jungkook asks.

You shrug your shoulders, “Don’t know, probably talking with the guys of the basketball team. He’s been gone for a while.” Not like you care, anyway. If your conversation with him inside his car on the way to the venue had been any indication of what it would’ve been like for the rest of the night, you’re glad he's not here trying to make any more small talk with you.

Jungkook huffs, thinking he’ll kick his ass if he sees him. He had asked him to invite you so you wouldn’t come alone, and yet here you are, sitting all by yourself while the douchebag’s making a social life somewhere in the crowd. He calms down once he notices how unbothered you are by it, though. You’re a big girl now, you’ve been through too much to be affected by something as simple as this.

“Is there something you wan—“

“Dance!” You interrupt with excitement and Jungkook chuckles.

“I was gonna ask if you wanted something to drink, but—alright, let’s dance.” Jungkook can’t dance for shit, but you took lessons when you were younger and he can still remember how you’d always show him the routines you learned in class. He’d always boo you, but in reality you were pretty good. He wonders why you stopped, he doesn’t recall you ever telling him.

It’s just his luck that once you both step into the dancefloor, the hired DJ stops the up-tempo song playing before and switches to a much slower romantic one, “Alright everyone, I want all the couples on the dancefloor for this one.” 

You step away from him with nervousness, it’s couples only after all. But Jungkook holds onto your lower back firmly, pulling you closer into his space. Your eyebrows raise as your lips part, “Uh, s-should we, uh—?” 

“It’s just a song, Y/N. You wanted to dance, then we’ll dance.” He tells you with such confidence it makes you feel like this is totally normal and something all friends do. All the known High School couples are dancing together, heads tenderly placed over chests and chins resting lovingly above them. You wait for Jungkook to take the lead because you have no clue of what you should be doing, you might’ve taken dance lessons years ago but you’ve never slowed danced in your life. 

Jungkook places his hand on your hip, the touch makes goosebumps crawl in your arms. He pretends he doesn’t notice it as he takes your right hand in his. You stare at the way he delicately holds it like it’s his mother’s fine china. “Place your other hand on my shoulder,” he instructs and you do as asked, your palm coming to rest on the strong muscle. 

He’s only slowed danced once before at a family member’s wedding where his mother taught him how to, with her as the teacher. Back then he thought it was incredibly ridiculous, but now he’s sort of glad that happened because he’s the teacher now and you’re now looking at him with your big eyes as you sway alongside him. 

You clear your throat, “This isn’t that hard.” Jungkook nods as he stares down at you, noticing how uneasy you are given that you’re looking at everything and not entirely immersed in the moment.

“You look beautiful tonight.” He says out of nowhere, making you look at him like a deer stuck in headlights, cheeks flushed with embarrassment. He had never called you that before. 

An awkward laugh escapes your lips, looking away from his intense gaze as you try not to take his words too literally, “Ha ha, that was a good one.” To you there’s no other explanation than this being one of his mean pranks on you.

But Jungkook doesn’t falter both his words and gaze, “I’m not laughing.” There’s seriousness in his voice and you have to look back at him again just to make sure he really isn’t, “You look beautiful, just take the compliment.” You nod and there’s silence between you two after that. You’re digesting the romantic lyrics that the singer is talking about and hope that the song ends soon, because you’ve never been this close to him and it’s starting to feel too crowded.

You clear your throat, “So…” 

“So…,” he repeats. 

“What are you doing for summer?” You ask him in an attempt to break the tension and wanting to take advantage of the little intimate moment since Jungkook rarely ever lets you pry into his private life. 

“I think I’ll train before heading off,” he answers. It was more than obvious he was going to earn that sports scholarship he had been aiming for, he was one of the best athletes on the school; though you considered him to be the number one between them all. “I’m kinda scared, not gonna lie.” 

You look at him with surprise, tilting your head to the side, “You’re scared?” You ask in disbelief because as long as you’ve known him, he’s never been scared of anything. This is the same kid who instilled your fear of monsters in a closet after watching Monster’s Inc. together, also the same kid who helped you get over it after he realized you had actually taken it seriously.

He chuckles lightly, “Yeah, I’m just scared about starting over.” It’s interesting how his biggest fear is the one you’re looking forward to the most, but you suppose it’s fitting for someone who has never had to worry about what people think of him. In this town, Jungkook has swam freely without any concerns. Out there, he’s just another fish in the big and scary ocean. “Aren’t you?” He questions, hoping that you’re able to relate to what he’s feeling. 

“Honestly, I—“ 

You’re interrupted by Jaehyun clearing his voice in front of you two, making you both turn your heads towards his direction. You quickly separate from Jungkook and he feels his body lose the warmness you were providing. 

“If you wanted to dance, you could’ve just asked. I’m your date after all.” He says smugly and you chuckle awkwardly, nodding because he’s right. 

Jungkook wants to punch his stupid face, how dare he interrupt you both when he had been ignoring you the whole night? Why does he suddenly want to dance with you when he’s probably still upset at him for asking Jinsoul to the prom before he could?

“Your date’s looking for you, buddy. She doesn’t look too happy.” Jaehyun adds with a smirk as he takes your hand in his and drags you away from Jungkook towards another place on the dancefloor. 

He’s left to stare at the way he holds your hand, and he only hopes he’s doing it ever so carefully. 

You’re twenty when Jungkook sees you for the first time since you both left for college two and half a years ago. He’s rendered speechless when he spots you in the crowd, there’s a manly hand around your waist as you giggle into the stranger’s mouth before placing a kiss to his lips. 

There’s only so much social media can provide him, pictures and stories aren’t enough for Jungkook to keep up with you. He thinks you’ve changed, not only appearance wise but you seem way more outgoing, carefree, and happy. Did he miss the boyfriend announcement picture? He’s sure he didn’t, he checks your profile almost every day and he’s never even seen him in any of your stories. 

A gasp escapes your lips once you spot him, completely forgetting about the possibility of bumping into him given that both your schools were playing against each other that night. You tell Namjoon you’ll be right back and he nods, going back to a conversation with the group of college friends you had made. 

You surprise him by jumping into him, arms around his shoulders as you hug him from behind. You let out a shrill of excitement and he blushes as his friends chuckle at the unexpected approach from this unfamiliar girl. 

‘‘Jungkook! You didn’t tell me you’d be here,’’ you say once he turns around to face you and he’s able to see you better upfront. You look beautiful and he thinks the Instagram pictures are not doing you enough justice. You’re glowing, and it has nothing to do with the highlighter you applied on your face and collarbone area. 

The both of you aren’t able to properly talk until you suggest moving to a different area, Jungkook apologizing to his friends as he explained he needed to catch up with an old friend. They don’t complain and instead shoot him teasing looks and small pervy comments that go by unnoticed to you. 

Jungkook listens with intent to your ramble about what you’ve been up to. From your courses, to your roommates, the parties you’ve attended, and even the fact that you handle your alcohol better now. He’s happy that you seem so too, but it irks him that you hadn’t been capable of telling him that you had a boyfriend now. Is there a reason as to why you omitted that important piece of information? 

‘‘And what about you? How’s college?’’ You ask with curiosity. 

He blinks a few times, realizing you had stopped talking about yourself and was now wondering about him instead. ‘‘It’s fine,’’ he answers with a tight lipped smile, the lack of detail compared to you was astonishing, but even though you were still hungry for more you decided not to pry any further. 

There’s fear in revealing that he’s been having a hard time catching up with the rest of his peers. College was indeed fine, but it could be better. He’s settled with the idea that this is as good at it’ll get, some things just aren’t like you expect them to be. At least you’re happy, and that fact brings him comfort. 

‘‘Was that your, uhm─boyfriend?’’ He finally asks after a while, both about to head back to your respective group of friends. 

The question takes you by surprise, looking at him with raised eyebrows and mouth agape. ‘‘Who? Namjoon?’’ He nods, though he doesn’t know anything about the guy he had first seen you with. You let out a wholehearted laugh, ‘‘Hell no, too many commitment issues with that one,’’ you answer and Jungkook’s forehead creases with confusion. 

Why were you kissing him then? 

‘‘We’re friends with benefits,’’ you inform him as if you had read his mind. ‘‘He’s a nice guy, though. Also, super smart, he’s helped me with a few of my─’’ 

‘‘You’re not a virgin anymore?’’ He abruptly asks, disbelief in his tone as he internally screams to himself for thinking out loud. Jungkook expects you to berate him about such an imprudent question, but is surprised when he sees you giggling. 

‘‘Duh, silly. I think I lost it freshman year?’’ The carelessness in your voice makes him look at you like you’ve gone crazy. Why are you so lax about this? Why are you telling him about losing your virginity without a care in the world? ‘‘Anyway, are you going to be home for the─’’

Jungkook interrupts you once again, ‘‘Was it with your boyfriend at the time?’’ He asks in genuine curiosity and you sigh, rolling your eyes slightly at him. 

‘‘No, it was some random dude at this party I went to. Could you please─’’

‘‘Y/N, are you insane? Why would you give up your virginity to some fucking stranger like it’s nothing?’’ Jungkook’s voice raises as he scolds you about being so negligent about yourself, ‘‘You can’t do shit like that!’’ He fumed, making you let out a breathless chuckle. 

‘‘Could you stop treating me like a fucking child for once in your life? I’m perfectly fine, Jungkook. I’ve been doing pretty well for myself without you here, actually. I don’t know why you think you have a say on what I do, is it the entitlement you have of me that you still carry around because we grew up together? Because if that’s it then you can drop it, I let go of my little girl who wanted a friend and was treated like pure shit in return complex a long time ago.’’ 

He knows you’re right, but he thinks he’ll always have this odd sense of protection over the five year old girl who cried to his mom about not lending her his favorite toy. He’ll always want to apologize to the eight year old girl who declared her love for him with a Valentine’s Day card while he ended up breaking her heart in exchange. He’ll always wish to look for help within the twelve year old girl who witnessed him give out his first kiss to another girl who he didn’t even like. He’ll always feel guilty towards the sixteen year old girl who had gotten tipsy on a spiked fruit punch and crashed on his bed. He’ll always hate himself for not asking the seventeen going on eighteen year old girl to prom when he knew he could’ve, but chose not to in fear of ruining your friendship. 

You only wanted someone to be there for you growing up and Jungkook had never been the brave boy you thought he was, always running from his fears in hopes he’d have a wide advantage margin from them. Yet here they are, standing right in front of him in the form of a twenty year old you, and they’re there to let him know that you’ve never needed him, yet he’s always needed you.

He can’t even apologize, he only looks at you with wide eyes as he fidgets in his place. Either you’re both too old now to understand each other or you just realized that you’ve outgrown Jungkook. 

Your mouth set in a hard line as you crossed your arms, the night’s breeze feeling colder than usual. ‘‘I miss you Jungkook, but I can’t keep playing this cat and mouse game with you any longer.’’ 

You leave him behind to go back to Namjoon’s arms, seeking refuge in his sweet embrace as you try your hardest to put on practice what you learned all those years ago when Jungkook broke your heart for the first time, you should be used to it by now.

You’re twenty-one when you’re back in your hometown to attend the funeral of the old lady down the street, the one that always scolded you and Jungkook growing up. 

You had been scared of her as a child, but always following along your friend’s footsteps when he proposed playing around her garden. It tugs at your heartstrings even if you hadn’t known the woman well. Her death was imminent seeing as she’d been ill for quite some time. 

A taller figure stands next to you as you both stand way in the back of the ceremony. He looks tired and you figure that it’s because of the fact he arrived late into the night, you heard his car’s engine from your bedroom window. Dressing in all black, you notice he bought a new suit. You’re sure that the one he wore for prom no longer fits considering he’s bigger now. 

You haven’t talked to each other since last year when you both left off on a sour note. The hurt you felt was no longer present, though. You chewed on your bottom lip as you thought of a way you could talk to him again without making things awkward, but you let out a small gasp once he placed his arm around your shoulders, giving it a small squeeze as he sighed and kept his focus on the service. 

Watching the casket be lowered into the ground felt weird. She was a human being just like you, but her existence was a reminder of your childhood. Would it be okay to say that her death meant a part of you leaving with her too? 

Once it hits you, it’s Jungkook who consoles you by hugging you tight. Your eyes are too blurry with tears for you to realize this is one of those rare moments where he’s holding you close without hesitation. He lets you ruin his tuxedo’s jacket with your mascara covered tears as he brushes your hair as a sign of comfort. 

You know things are back in order when he proposes the idea to go back to the old lady’s porch, for old times sake. ‘‘Will we ever let her rest?’’ You ask him with a small laugh as Jungkook sits on the doorsteps of the old lady’s empty home, opening the bag of candy worms he bought at the grocery store. 

He shrugs, ‘‘She loved us, always told my mom how much she missed us running around the street.’’ The revelation makes you smile, hoping it was true. He pats the empty space next to him, indicating for you to fill it up with your presence. Once you do, you feel the familiar warmth of his proximity. 

Jungkook seems different and you only hope he’s changed for the best. 

‘‘When are you going back?’’ You ask him with curiosity, hoping that he’ll be in town for a few more days so you can catch up with him on a better note this time around. 

He munches on one of the snacks, ‘‘Tomorrow morning, I have training camp and can’t miss it.’’ His answer makes you sigh with disappointment, but you nod nonetheless. ‘‘What about you?’’ He asks in return, and you inform him that you’ll stay for a few more days to spend time with your family. There’s silence after that and Jungkook can only offer you the gummy worms in the bag, you take one with a small thanks.  

‘‘College fucking sucks,’’ he says out of nowhere and it makes you look at him in bewilderement, ‘‘I hate it there, I wanna drop out so bad. But I’m a year away from graduating so it’s too late now.’’ You see his shoulders visibly relax, like a weight had been lifted off them. ‘‘Plus my mom would kill me if I do so,’’ he adds with a chuckle. 

Last time you asked everything was fine. Had things changed or had they always been this way and he was just now being honest with you?

You rest your head on his shoulder and focus all of your undivided attention on him as he keeps rambling about what his life has been ever since he left this town. He’s had bad games, bad grades, and bad girls. But he’s also had incredible games, good grades, and a couple great hookups, and yet he still feels empty, it’s not enough. 

‘‘I miss you,’’ he mumbles as he faces you, ‘‘I’m sorry for being such a shitty friend, you deserved better.’’ His apology is genuine and you can feel it in the way his voice trembles, sincerity has always scared him after all. 

Jungkook’s never known when the time is right, and he misjudges the look on your face. When he leans down to press his lips against yours, he’s blinded for a mere moment into believing that you wanted to kiss him just as much as he had been waiting. 

You abruptly separate from him with wide eyes and parted lips, ‘‘Jungkook, I’m─I’m dating Namjoon now.’’ He can physically feel his heart shatter, the revelation coming out like an old newspaper headline he should’ve read a long time ago. 

He lets out a breathless chuckle, ‘‘He got over the commitment issues?’’ The rhetorical question is bitter. 

You scoff, ‘‘And what about it? I preferred to wait than to rush into getting my heart broken.’’ Plus it’s not like you were expecting Namjoon to grow feelings for you, the whole no strings attached arrangement was named that way for a reason. 

Jungkook looks at you with narrowed eyes and he shakes his head sightly. Old habits never die down, still so stubborn and challenging as ever. 

He’s startled as you stand abruptly, fuming as you look at him, ‘‘I don’t even know why you care! Did you forget that you threw my Valentine’s Day card into the trash? Or that you kissed Yeji in front of my face? Or that you let Taehyung date me as prank between your friends? Or that you were making out with Eunha while Jimin kept giving me alcohol? Or that you asked Jaehyun to take me to the stupid prom even though I was perfectly fine going without him or anyone for that matter?’’

‘‘We were just kids!’’ Jungkook argues back at you.

‘‘It still fucking hurt,’’ you counter, ‘‘still hurts, actually. You think that by giving me a measly apology and kissing it better I’ll suddenly forget about all of it?’’ Jungkook knows it won’t ever make up for all those years, but he had at least hoped you’d be willing to give him a chance. 

He wishes he could say something else. Explain that he had just tried to protect you in his own shitty way from everyone else or himself maybe, he doesn’t know anymore. He wants to speak up again, but there’s disappointment written all over your face, you’re not angry at him...just saddened. 

‘‘Hope you have fun at your training camp.’’

Jungkook watches as you leave him sitting by himself on the old lady’s doorstep. A hand runs through his hair as he feels his eyes water, and he can almost hear a whisper in the wind that asks him why he didn’t stop you when he could’ve. 

Jungkook didn’t think that his family coming together with yours for Christmas dinner would’ve been a great idea. You’re cold to him at first and it’s fitting for the winter weather, but as always it only takes for him to sit next to you for things to warm up again. 

It’s with the excuse that you’ll run over to your house to grab a new bottle of wine from the kitchen counter that Jungkook trails behind you, both slightly tipsy on the different alcohols your families had offered each other. 

Years have passed since he last stepped foot inside your home, you used to visit him more often than he did anyway. It still smells and looks the same; the only difference is that there’s new pictures of you hung up on the walls, updated accordingly to the changes you’ve made ever since you left off for college.

You’re sporting a big smile in all of them, which in exchange makes him copy the action as well. His lack of presence in your life has done you better than compared to when he was around, and if that’s the case, then at least he did something right. 

There hasn’t been much said since the beginning of the night, just a simple hey out of courtesy. There’s so much he wants to say, but with no clue where to begin. Another apology is due, though he thinks it’s a little too late for that. He also wants to ask about what you’ve been up to since he last saw you, are you still dating the Namjoon guy you had told him about after he kissed you? If he’s still there, Jungkook rather keep quiet and not wonder out loud to you, he’s sure that it’ll hurt if it’s true. 

Growing up Jungkook always mistook your bravery with stubbornness and your courage with relentlessness. You’ve always been challenging, but only because you wanted him to do so too. It’s moments like this that prove him that you’ve always been the stronger between the two.

‘‘So, we’re just gonna pretend like nothing’s wrong between us?’’ You ask, speaking directly to him for the first time that night. It makes him look at you like a deer stuck in headlights, surprised by the sudden question and out of all the years of knowing each other, he feels small under your gaze for once. ‘‘How much time is it going to pass until you want to finally talk things like adults?’’ 

Jungkook gulps the lump in his throat, his brain quickly thinking of the right thing to say, ‘‘I just wanted to protect you from─’’

‘‘From what? From you? Everytime you’ve done that I end up getting hurt in the end. I’m left to pick the pieces up by myself,’’ you interject with anger in your voice. ‘‘It fucking pisses me off that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you kissing me, I haven’t stopped thinking about you and─’’ A sigh, you close your eyes to center yourself again as Jungkook waits for the final blow, ‘‘and you look like none of this has ever bothered you in the slightest because, you don’t really care about me do you?’’

‘‘I do care about you.’’ He’s sure about it, even though he’s been extremely bad at showing it. 

Even though your eyes are threatening to spill tears, you still muster up the last bit of what’s left of your courage to step closer to him until you’re a few inches away. ‘‘Prove it, then. Show me that you care.’’ 

His brain is sent into quick overdrive due to your close proximity. There’s a slight hesitation because he only hopes that what he’s about to do is what you’re demanding him to prove. He doesn’t care if you’re still dating the Namjoon guy because he’s settled with the idea that it’s okay if you don’t correspond, it’s not like he did the same to you when you were both younger. 

Once his lips press against yours, there’s no turning back. He’s waiting for you to push him back and let him know that your heart’s still taken, but you kiss him with such fervor that he knows in that moment that you’re right, it’s better to wait than to rush right in. 

It’s no fairytale kiss, though. There’s desperation in the way you chase his lips, as if you were to slow down he’d find a way to escape from you. You grip the cotton material of his crewneck into your small fists, holding on to the fabric like your life depended on it. The small kiss you had both shared last year was nothing compared to this, and Jungkook’s taken aback by your neediness. 

He doesn’t know how you manage to drag him to your childhood bedroom without missing a beat, only separating once you both realize you need to catch your breaths, and even then Jungkook can’t have a minute to take just happened in because your lips attach to his neck to get more of a taste. His fingers curled around your arm, sighing at the way your kisses felt like electricity on his skin. 

‘‘Y/N,’’ he calls your name out in a breathy tone, but you’re too immersed in your little bubble to even realize it. 

Jungkook groans when you bite into the skin of his neck, then blowing over the red mark as you kissed it better. It’s going to be bruise and he doesn’t like when that happens, but he’s not bothered at all if it comes from you. He forcibly grabs your chin so you can face him, looking at him with big eyes, a small pout, and with your chin messed with drool. 

It’s then that Jungkook kisses you hungrily, making you feel like you’re in a dream-like state,  though you could partially blame the Christmas eggnog for that. The way he bites at your lips and how your tongues clash together is an extreme juxtaposition as to how you could describe this moment. It’s as if you’re floating on air, clouds surrounding you in a heavenly embrace, angels singing in the background every time his hands touch, grab, hold and caress every part of your body. And yet, even with such a difference, it’s perfect because it’s Jungkook. You’ve been waiting for this too long, which is why your hands creep beneath his crewneck, touching his tonified abdomen tentatively and enjoying the way goosebumps arise on his skin at the sensation of your fingers trailing patterns wherever they caress.  

It’s only fair that he pays attention to yours as well. Jungkook’s lips trail from your mouth onto your jawline, planting wet kisses on each space until he begins sucking on the skin of your neck, making you moan in the process. He chooses then that his new favorite sound is the way you voice out the pleasure he gives you. ‘‘Hurry up,’’ you say, ridding the bottom of the crewneck higher over his stomach, making him shiver at the sudden change of temperature. 

Jungkook chuckles before completely getting rid of the material, ‘‘Calm down,’’ he sighs as he gives you a sweet smile, ‘‘You know our moms could talk forever.’’ 

You ogle his chest, admiring the way his training camps have obviously done wonders to his body. ‘‘It’s not them I’m talking about,’’ you correct him with a teasing smile that only makes his grin grow wider, chuckling at your impatience. Jungkook lets out a small gasp of surprise when your hands grasp at his shoulder blades, turning him around so you can back him until the back of his knees hit the edge of your bed. It’s funny how he lets himself be bossed around by someone who’s way smaller compared to his frame.

Jungkook finds leverage on his elbows splayed against the mattress, your knees resting on each side of his hips as you leaned into him and kissing him just as widely as you had done before. Jungkook could fill just how quick things were escalating, especially the way his crotch area was beginning to become a problem he couldn’t possibly control at the moment, not with your own being directly on top of it. In any other situation he would’ve apologized with an awkward laugh, but his breath hitches once your hips start grinding over him.  

His hands make their way on the inside of your knitted sweater, provoking goosebumps on the exposed skin. You let out a shaky laugh, halting your movements so you can quickly get rid of the fabric as Jungkook’s eyebrows lift in surprise at your haste and then at the sight of your bra covered breasts. His hands are still steadily placed on each side of your waist, only brought up because your own had redirected them over your breasts, hoping he gets the message on what you want him to do now.   

Jungkook hesitantly squeezed one of the round globes, provoking a small moan to come from out of your lips. He wishes to hold you as close as he possibly can because the idea of ever being away from you again has been his main fear as of lately. But he refrains, you look so delicate and he feels like you could easily break. He stares at your body lovingly and your cheeks heat up at the way his eyes ogle your chest like a kid in a candy story. You give his arm a light slap and he chuckles, leaning over you to place a passionate kiss on your lips.

“You’re beautiful,” he says frankly. It doesn’t help to dissipate the flush on your face, but the compliment doesn’t bother you in the slightest. Jungkook leans in to trail kisses past your collarbones and into the swell of your breasts, making you bite your lip with anticipation. He looks at you asking for permission and you nod quickly with parted lips as you start to become impatient for him to make his next move. Jungkook lowers the cups of your breasts, freeing your hardened nipples and immediately envelopes one of them with his lips. “Mph—!” A sigh escapes your lips as you try to memorize the way his tongue traces over your tit. He pays attention to your other one, fingers rolling over the bud and pinching ever so often. 

You can feel your panties damp by then, trespassing into the fabric of the black leggings you’re wearing over them. Reaching behind your back, you fumble in unclasping the hooks of the now uncomfortable bra. Jungkook’s forced to stop the undivided attention he had places on your breasts to look at you like he’s lost, why are you going so fast? 

Once your hands delve with the buckle of his belt, he has to hold on to your wrists with a firm grasp, ‘‘What are you doing?’’ He asks with quick breath, you blink stoically towards him. 

‘‘Uh─getting you naked?’’ You answer with a nonchalant tone, but his hands don’t let go and your demeanor changes, ‘‘D-Did you not want this?’’ Your voice turns smaller, embarrassed that maybe you had pressured him into something he didn’t want to participate in. 

Jungkook quickly shakes his head no, ‘‘No, I-I do want this! It’s just─you’re going so fast,’’ he tries to explain, ‘‘I’ve been waiting for this for too long, I don’t wanna rush.’’ Your eyes lit up at the revelation as he waits for you to answer back, only for his back to hit the comforter with a small thud, giggling at the way you urgently kiss him again, but this time with much more care. 

‘‘Why didn’t you say so before, stupid?’’ You mumble with a sheepish look, ‘‘I thought it was just going to be─nevermind, I need you right now.’’ You have to force yourself from spitting out any details that could possibly ruin the moment between you two, deciding to wait instead for any emotional confessions you want to make. 

He switches positions between the two, panting as he brings you down to the mattress and Jungkook can feel the goosebumps on your skin, whether from the coldness of the room or because of the sheer electricity of his hands caressing your body like it was molded just right for him. He dips his hand lower, cupping your clothed heat on his hand. It makes you tremble and you whine, encouraging him to keep going. 

“Baby, you’re really wet,” he comments with a teasing tone and you pout at him. His fingers hook into the waistband of your leggings and he pulls them down as he travels with them, greeted by the sight of the damp cloth of your panties. He exhales with content, caressing your thighs in an up and down motion. You twist underneath him and he has to hold your hips down to calm you down, “Patience is a virtue.” 

“I’ve been too patient, do some—Ah!” Your whining is interrupted once Jungkook moves your underwear to the side holding it with his free hand, fingers coming to trace the slick covering your pussy lips. He becomes entranced with the transparent gooey liquid, bringing them close to his face as he separates his fingers and sees a strand connecting between them. “Guk-ah, p-please…” Your needy voice brings him back to reality, delving his fingers back into your exposed heat but this time with intent. 

Jungkook’s thumb lifts the hood covering your clit, mouth coming down to give it a small tentative kiss. That action alone has you writhing above him, it makes him chuckle to himself as he dives back in. The moans you let out are loud and clear inside your bedroom, thankful that it’s only you and him inside your house. Your hand pulls at his hair, making him groan against you and the vibrations are felt throughout your body, only adding to the euphoric pleasure you already possess. His fingers trace the inside of your thighs until they reach your entrance, circling the fluttering hole which makes you pull at his hair harder and with your other you hold on to the bedsheets of the comforter tightly into your fist. 

Jungkook’s tongue is still working your engorged bud, but he focuses his eyes on you as he dips the first finger inside you. “Oh—fuck,” you let out in a breathy moan. He tries to maintain a rhythm between his two ministrations, but it’s hard when he wants to focus on all of them at once. “‘Nother, please,” you begged once he let your clit rest, quickly following your request by adding another into your warm heat. He lets out a breathless chuckle as he notices how easy it is to thrust both fingers inside of you, your whole crotch area is covered in slick and his wet chin is a dead giveaway to where he was seconds ago. 

He watches you unravel over him with such adoration, not even his wettest dreams or dirtiest fantasies could prepare him for this. Seven minutes in heaven he plans to stay in forever. “Guk-ah, I wan’ you. I-Inside, please.” You plead with teary eyes, and he slowly stops, removing his arousal covered fingers from inside you as he makes you sigh in the process. He kisses you again and again, your hazy brain is probably hallucinating all of this right now, but damn is it good. You tug at the crewneck he’s wearing, he’s too overdressed for this occasion. He tends to your demands, quickly getting rid of all the layers of clothing that stop him from being inside of you fully. 

“I don’t have a—“ 

“I’m on the pill.”

You both speak at the same time, making each other chuckle. Jungkook gulps at the idea of taking you raw as the first time together, and you salivate at his hardened length; the head already oozing precum out and you want nothing more than to wrap your lips around it and lick the tip up. You’re just about to when Jungkook quickly grabs your wrist to stop you from reaching him, you look up at him with the big sparkly eyes he has loved for too long. 

“I just—I wanna be inside you right now,” he sheepishly admits, and you smile with a nod; sharing the sentiment. You back up until your head rests on the pillows comfortably, relaxing into the mattress as you wait for Jungkook to ready himself. He places a kiss on your lips before placing a hand next to your head, using it as leverage above you. His free hand takes his cock and rubs the tip along your folds, making you squirm with anticipation. Jungkook chuckles, “Are you ready?” He asks with a sweet smile. 

“I’ve always been,” you whisper, your hand tucking a strand of his long hair behind his ear. 

A caress to his cheek as he nods, slowly pushing the head of his dick into you. You bite into your lip hard, it’s been a while since you had sex with someone and Jungkook’s size and girth was different from the rest. Your walls are tight around him and he has a tough time trying to reach the hilt with you squeezing him so hard, “Baby, relax for me.” He pleads and you nod apologetically, breathing in deep as you feel him reach parts inside of you, you didn’t know existed. Once he’s all the way in, he waits for you to give him the go ahead while he presses kisses into your heated cheek. You wrap your legs around his waist and give him a nod, letting him know he was allowed to start thrusting.

Jungkook manages to hit all the right places, keeping a steady pace as he enters and exits you each time. You’re left to moan and writhe underneath him, letting him take you as he pleases. Your kisses become messy, teeth biting into each other’s lips, teeth grazing against each other as you both tried to fight for the dominant position. It’s that heavy makeout that incites you to push at his shoulders, making him turn in his back, exiting you in the process. Jungkook pants, chest rising and falling with quickness as you straddle his lap, arms connecting behind his neck. 

“You always want to win, right?” He chuckles with half lidded eyes, enjoying the way your pussy lips grinded over his twitching length. You bat your eyelashes at him, offering him an innocent smile. The same technique that used to get you everything you wanted when you were younger. Same determination as you seek for what’s yours. He’s under you after all, still a victim to your charms.

Jungkook takes the bulbous head of his cock and teases it in your clit, if you weren’t holding on to him tight you would’ve collapsed into his chest. And by the way you moan his name out, he knows you’ll always look for him no matter the weather. “What a pretty girl,” he coos into your hair and you pinch his nipple in retaliation which only makes him groan in return. “My pretty girl.” He states before sinking himself deep into you again, sighing at the feeling of your hips circling over him. His rough hands guide them as you bounce up and down his length, moaning every time you rose and hissing when you came back down. 

He makes sure to keep this image engraved on his head forever. Your breasts bouncing over his face, your thighs working extra hard to keep up with his thrusts, and the way your sounds bounced off the walls of your bedroom. 

“You’re doing s-so good, baby.” Jungkook praises you, kneading your ass cheek. “Taking my cock s-so well,” he falls into a trance of admiring the way his length would appear and disappear inside of you, covered in a thick layer of your arousal. It makes him drill into you faster, sitting properly against the bed’s headboard as he takes your hips with force. He’s too turned on to keep treating you so delicately, and the way you moan and pant at the increase in speed only lets him know you enjoy him like this way more. “I-Is it good, baby? Am I-I fucking you well?” He asks in between rapid thrusts, your thighs had given out by then. 

You nod and a whimper escapes your lips, “Y-yes, Guk-Ah. S-so good, feels amazing.” Your praise is honest, the fucked out tone in your voice is a clear indicator of how well of a job he was doing. A minute longer and you’ll be right on cloud nine, never wanting to come back down. “Wanna cum Guk-Ah, plea—“ There’s no need for you to even finish your sentence because his thumb rubs your clit in figure eights, making you groan with the intensified feeling of his hips circling inside you deliciously. You can almost see the blinding white light ahead as Jungkook kisses you feverishly. You feel tears escape the corners of your high, the familiar feeling tickling inside you as Jungkook’s thrusts don’t let up. ‘‘Ah! Yes, yes, fuck,’’ you cry out once your orgasm hits. Jungkook holds you close to his chest, trying to soothe your shaking body with his arms. Your walls squeeze and relax continuously around him, it serves him as the impulse he needs to chase his own high. 

‘‘I love you, Jungkook,’’ you confess in between panting breaths, ‘‘so much.’’ 

His release shoots out and he groans, digging crescent moons into your hips. You hiss at the sensation, but giggle at how his eyes are screwed shut and brows still furrowed together, as if he was holding on to the last of his orgasm. In reality, Jungkook is just hoping that once he opens his eyes you’ll still be in his arms. Your fingers tilting his head to face you are very much real, he sees spots once he opens his eyes as they adjust to the room’s lighting. 

‘‘I love you too.’’ He says with a fixed gaze and you coo at how perfect this is.

You’re twenty-two when Jungkook’s finally yours.

You’re both twenty-three and it’s another weekend spent at his apartment, he’s been playing for three hours now and you’ve given up on having him pay attention to you. Deciding to switch your plan around and join him instead, if only he would let you play.

‘‘Jungkook, you said it was going to be my turn five rounds ago!’’ You complain with a pout, crossing your arms across your chest. 

His gaze is still stuck on the T.V screen, ‘‘Baby, shhh, you’re gonna make me lose.’’ He mumbles as he tries to remain concentrated on the game in hand, but he can hear your humph’s from behind him, ‘‘Patience is a─’’

‘‘Virtue, yeah, who cares.’’ You interrupt him with a roll of your eyes, familiar with the saying a little too well. ‘‘Hope you remember that for later tonight,’’ you add in a mumble, but he doesn’t hear it because of the loud sounds coming from the game on the screen. 

‘‘What did you say, babe?’’ He asks with a raised brow, hitting the buttons of the controller with expert ease. 

‘‘I’ll call your mom and tell her you don’t wanna share.’’ You joke with a threatening voice, but Jungkook knows better than to take your words so lightly. He pauses the game and turns to look at you with an are you serious? expression on his face, you giggle as you’ve finally got what you wanted. 

He apologizes by covering your face with kisses, pleading for you not to tell on him with his mom. You promise not to do so this time, knowing that the woman was probably tired of having to scold his son at his big age. 

Plus, ever since Jungkook surprised you with the almost exact replica of the Valentine’s Day card you gave him all those year back, you’ve taken advantage to tease him even more knowing he’s at your beck and call. You always remind him that he came close because the stickers he used were not like the ones you had, but he remembered to add the hearts on the I’s so that’s good enough. 

‘‘Alright you can play, but━!’’ He says after he finishes his attack of kisses, ‘‘I’ll be your guide, I can’t risk you messing my record up, no offense baby.’’ None taken as you nod excitedly, you’ll always take whatever chance he gives you. 

Jungkook’s finally learned how to share his toys after all.

[artic-willow]

Hello dear,

I would really love to read something from you, if u feel like doing :

Could you write something funny and cute between Azure and Jake. I would love to see those two having a bond.

I wish you a good evening sweetie.

Manue

"Sweet Stalker."

A/N: Hello!!😊 I'm not used to do something like this, but it was absolutely an nice comfort so far. Thank you for the request!<3

→ Genre: Fluff, a bit Sad/Angst in the start.

→ Character(s): Jake and Azure, mention of Summer (MC).

→ Category: One-shot (NOT CANON!)

→ Status: Finished [1/1]

→ Words: 616

→ !TW: Mention of death (Shooting)!

→ Summary: Jake is looking for some old photos of Summer, he’s watching them with Azure.

*NO POV*

The little girl crosses the threshold of the house just back from school, her uniform is completely soaked in mud from how much she has played with her friends.

When Azure notices the stains on the floor, it becomes a ghost. She knows that Jake doesn't want her to get so dirty.

The little girl gets on tiptoe to keep the wooden floor from creaking, failing. Jake hears baby steps.

-"Azure! You're all dirty with mud!" His voice seems to be as lethal as a snake.

Azure is now a shaking stone, -"Ehm... I was playing with my friends and...I fell in the mud."

Jake's brows come together, he seems to be angry.

-"Azure..." He snorts and gets down on his knees in front of her, -"How many times have I told you not to go home like this?"

-"Many times…But..." Azure lowers her gaze, doesn't know what to say.

Jake chuckles a little, -"Okay, I'll let you win for now but now go get changed. Quick."

—--

Azure runs down the stairs, almost slipping. 

-”What are you doing, Jake?” The little girl approaches Jake, looking closely at his computer screen.

-"I am working." He seriously says, he himself couldn't deny that he's a little angry with Azure for dissubiating him.

-"What are you working on?" She curiously crumbles closer to the screen, noticing something.

She sees Drive open, but closed in time by Jake. What was Jake hiding from Azure?

-"Difficult stuff...You can’t understand. " He seems to have realized that Azure has noticed something suspicious.

-"What about that open Drive?" She points with her eyes and grabs the computer mouse.

-"Hey!" He tries to take the hold of the girl's hand but fails.

The little girl's face deforms to a confused face, why is Jake looking at pictures of her mother?

-”My mother? But…” She stutters, clearly confused but enchanted by the beautiful images of her mother.

Jake is embarrassed, -"Ehm…I…" He stutters, blushing more and more.

A light bulb lights up in Azure's head, -"You miss my mother very much...Right?" Her gaze is sorry. It is clear that asking this is like a hunter who has stabbed a blade in her chest by herself.

Azure can't hide it with any blankets, she misses her mother more than anything.

It's a punch in the gut for Jake, he gulps and nods silently.

She hugs him.

-"Me too…" She starts crying on his shoulder.

He tightens his hold on the arm, making her sit up and cry into his shoulder.

He himself begins to cry, small tears but full of pain.

–

The atmosphere in Jake's room was tense, but a little comfort still seemed present.

Azure is curled up on Jake's lap as he puts an arm around her shoulders and shows her some old photos of Summer.

A small sigh comes from Jake's mouth.

-"She was beautiful..." He still seems to be trying to keep the tears.

Azure gives a crooked smile, as if she wants to nod. -"She was, I would love to have her here with me..."

Jake notices the girl's sad look, a little wistful smile and crosses a fist. He is hiding something inside.

The little girl looks at Jake's fist with curiosity, -"What is it?" She tries to peek more carefully.

Jake slowly opens his fist, revealing a small blue bracelet. It has circumcised diamonds on the edges and in the center it says 'Summer'.

-"It's not like having her but...I've kept this for a long time and I want you to keep it." He smiles and kisses her hair.

Azure's eyes light up, it's her mother's bracelet! In the photos there is a small bracelet like this, which highlights Summer's eye color.

Azure literally jumps on Jake's neck, hugging him tighter.

He returns the hug, his heart is completely melted.

In the end, it doesn't take much to be a happy family.

[literate-simp]

Bakugou realizing that sometimes, bad things happen to good people

About: his s/o opens up to him about their trauma

Warning(s): mentions of trauma, slight angst, few curse words because Bakugou

Include(s): gn! reader, being comforted and understood by pomeranian, fluff

Note: i never get too detailed with trauma/bad childhood related content because i want my readers to feel free with whatever they're facing. i hope that anyone reading this fic for comfort has a wonderful day. I'm happy you're still pushing despite everything that's happened.

To be fair, he hadn't even thought of it. Never crossed his mind, not even once.

It was 1 AM now; way past his bedtime, way past his much needed rest for an early morning and he hadn't even tried closing his eyes. For once in his life, he was left wondering.

His life was filled with praise and ego, to be his lover would mean being able to put up with him and giving him praise when he actually deserved it. He didn't need half-assed compliments or someone on his hands and feet -- he needed someone to see him grow by himself.

You see, it hadn't crossed his mind that you were in a dark place in the past or present. You were strong in your own way and he saw it as a powerful trait of yours. You wanted to be a hero just like him but not because you wanted to prove your worth, you just wanted to save those who couldn't protect themselves.

"Katsuki! Right hook, then left!" You'd yell during your spar sessions. He takes your advice seriously, knowing you wanted him to improve just as much as he does for you.

"Fuckin' idiot," He mumbled in the darkness. You seemed so fine with it too, laughed about whatever happened as if it wasnt a huge part of who you were now. You talked like it was the weather, mundane and nothing crucial.

Could people smile after that? You did. It was scary to him how used to the life you were. You must've been scared, who wouldn't be?

"Katsuki, I have something to tell you," You said right before his bedtime, around 7 maybe. He was confused why you didn't just walk up and strike a conversation with him like usual.

Must be serious, he had thought and damn was it serious.

On the balcony, under the dark sky with a faraway look in your eyes. You didn't even turn to him once, just went on and on; one story after another. Sometimes you'd laugh like it was funny.

It wasn't funny, he was mortified and worried -- rendered him speechless to a point that his body came to a standstill.

You're a good person, he knew that most. You were someone that shone brighter than his classmates, that was why he chose you to be his partner at first.

"You must be freaked out, huh," You stated, finally turning to meet his worried eyes with a smile. "I don't blame you, it's a lot to take in."

"I trust you a lot and I just wanted you to know what you're getting yourself into when you're with me, so take your time. I'll wait for you."

Is he feeling bad right now? What was he feeling bad for? That you had a horrible life? He hated pitying people but he couldn't help but worry for you.

Also, what did you mean by 'take your time'? Had you thought Bakugou Katsuki, Lord Explosion Murder and soon-to-be Dynamight, was going to run away the second you told him?

If anything he just wanted to hug you right now, but he missed his chance when it reached midnight. Now he's going to accept the consequences of shock by not getting a good night's rest like he intended.

This bothered him.

How were you sleeping right now?

Just as the thought crossed his mind, he was out the door. Midnight, shoeless feet, his plain black shirt and sweats, he walked down the corridor to your door and was tempted to knock.

What if he was bothering your rest? He didn't want that, not after the conversation you both had. He turned on his heel and was met face-to-face with his teacher's pet cat who wandered the dorms at night to check on students, it stared straight at his soul and kinda creeped him out.

He put a finger to his lips, trying to shush it from making any possible noise but it harnessed the loudest cat-like screech he's heard. Bakugou jumped when he heard your door creak open, turning as quick as he could to see you.

"Katsuki? What are you doing here at night? 's like...," You trailed off, looking back into your room for your clock. "1:37 AM. It's way past your bedtime."

"U-Uh yeah, sorry. Just wanted to check on you," He mumbled the last bit, shooing you with his hand. "Go back to sleep, I'll talk to ya in the morning."

It was silent for a moment and you sighed, reaching out to grab his retreating hand and pulling him into your room.

"What? Hey! This isn't allowed!" He scolded you, tapping your hand on his. He was grateful it was dark enough to hide the growing warmth on his cheeks.

"Not like it matters, it's almost 2 AM. Don't want you to go to class tired," You mumbled with a yawn. You pulled him to your bed, gesturing him to rest on top of your shoulder as you laid there waiting.

He hesitantly sits down and curls to your side, your hand playing with his soft yet spiky hair. Bakugou relaxes and focuses on your deep breaths.

"What's wrong?" You asked, eyes closed. "Rare t'see you staying up so late. Can't sleep?"

He shakes his head. "Just thinking about you."

"Awww, how sweet~," You whispered with a giggle. "What were you thinking about?"

Bakugou stares at you before grunting.

"Drop the act. I saw your puffy eyes the second you came out of your room," He snarls, sitting up and looking down at you. "Don't do that in front of me."

You frowned for a moment and smiled again, hand reaching up and caressing his cheek. It was always so soft and clear, probably from the quirk he inherited from his mother.

"Can't help it. Got used to it, hun," You told him. "Not like I could sleep either, cried 'til I could. Kinda worked until I heard Mr Aizawa's cat screeching."

Bakugou cringed with his eyes closed. "Sorry."

"No problem, I like his cat," You answered. It was silent again. "Do you think I'm pitiful?"

"No," He answered. "If you're looking for pity, you're dating the wrong guy."

Chuckling, you nodded. "Must be dating the right one then."

You sat up just slightly, kissing his chin. It was the most you could do in the position, and he didn't seem like the type to budge. He grabs your cheek and kisses your forehead.

"Whatever happened, happened. Just because you told me, doesn't mean my impression of you changed. You just...," He trailed off. "... Showed me how you need to be treated, the best of the best."

"You're a better fit for a hero than any extra. Trust me," He stated firmly. Tears welled up in your eyes and you smiled wobbily.

"Damn it, you Katsudon! I just finished crying too," You muttered, rubbing your eyes as you let the tears cascade down your cheeks. He smiles at your reaction, leaning in to kiss you on the lips gently and choosing not to point out the ridiculous pet name you gave him.

"From now on, tell me everything. What makes you uncomfortable, happy, and how I can make you feel better," He ruffles your hair. "I love you, idiot. You're stuck with me."

More tears fell from your eyes. He waited for your smile to come and his heart grew warm again.

"Thank you, Suki. I love you too." You laughed.

♡︎ literate-simp

[morganaspendragonss]

fic request because i am d e s p e r a t e : tarlos carlos whump with supportive gabriel reyes ??? if you’re down to write him that is. i love ur work n ur whump n i think u would write a p good gabe. 🥰

holly’s august extravaganza day 1: against all odds (we're still here)

i'm always down to write gabriel! thanks for the prompt trick, i hope you like it!

ao3 | 2k | car accidents, whump, major character injury, angst with a happy ending

“I told you we should have brought the car.”

Carlos scowls over at TK, shifting one of the many bags he’s carrying higher on his arm. It cuts painfully into his skin, his good mood from earlier long since soured. The knowledge that TK is, of course, right isn’t exactly helping matters.

“In my defence,” he starts, for probably the fifth or sixth time, “when we texted your dad to see if he wanted us to pick up anything from the store, I wasn’t expecting a full list.”

“We could have told him no.”

“TK, he’s your dad and we are literally crashing his home right now. I’m not gonna tell him no.”

TK opens his mouth, presumably to retort with a comment about how his dad loves Carlos and loves having them around. Both of which are things Carlos knows perfectly well, thanks, but he’s still not interested in testing it by refusing to get Owen’s kale chips or that specific brand of shampoo which took half an hour—and two stores—to track down.

Whatever TK was about to say is abandoned when one of his own bags slips out of his grasp and falls to the ground with a depressing thud. It bursts open—because why wouldn’t it—and spills their purchases across the sidewalk. The only solace is that nothing breaks, but that’s where the good news begins and ends; Carlos’s eyes track a can as it rolls down the street and into the gutter, landing in a puddle of dirty water. TK looks forlornly between the dropped bag and those still balanced on his arms, then heaves a long-suffering sigh and crouches awkwardly, easing the other bags down as carefully as he can manage.

“Call an Uber,” he grumbles. “We are not walking home like this.”

On that point, they’re in agreement. Carlos spares himself a moment of idle amusement at TK’s predicament before beginning the arduous task of extracting his phone from his pocket without dropping any of his own shopping.

He’ll hate himself for it later, but he’s so focused that the screech of tires coming around the corner barely registers as a blip on his radar. He doesn’t notice anything until TK suddenly barrels into him, throwing Carlos to the side just before something else, something heavy, crashes into them with a blinding flash of pain, and then—

Nothing.

*

Oh my god!

Someone call 911!

Are they even alive?

Just hold on, son, you’re going to be just fine.

*

Beeping.

Carlos frowns, slowly blinking his heavy eyelids open. It takes a minute to register his surroundings for what they are—a hospital room—and a further minute to notice the presence at his side. It’s his father, looking exhausted, turning his cowboy hat in his hands as he stares at the floor.

“Dad?” he croaks, wincing at the soreness in his throat. “What happened?”

His father’s head jerks up, his eyes going wide as he sees Carlos awake. “Mijo. It’s good to see you awake.”

“Dad, why am I here? What happened?”

He sighs, reaching out to pat Carlos’s arm. “There was an accident,” he explains. “A drunk driver lost control of his car and mounted the curb right where you boys were standing. He was speeding, so he hit you pretty hard. Your foot was crushed under a wheel, you have a fractured wrist, and you bumped your head when you fell so you probably have a concussion. The doctors say you should heal just fine, though, gracias a Dios.”

Carlos lifts his head to look down at his body, only just registering the casts on his arm and foot. There’s a dull ache radiating through his entire body and his head is pounding in time with his heartbeat, but he’s alive and he’ll heal. He should be happy about that, but the only thing occupying his mind is his dad’s silence on TK.

“What about TK?” he asks, part of him dreading the answer. “I remember him pushing me; is he okay?”

“He’s…” His dad hesitates, sending a cold slither of fear down Carlos’s spine. “Alive.”

Carlos stares, the beginnings of panic stealing his breath. “What does that mean?”

His father blows out a long breath. “It means you were right,” he says, meeting Carlos’s eyes. “He did push you, so he took the brunt of the hit. He suffered a serious open pelvic fracture and broken ribs, which punctured his lung. Last I heard, they managed to fix him up and they’re not expecting any further complications, but we won’t know for sure until he wakes up.”

“He hasn’t woken up?”

“Not yet. He will, you’ll see.”

“I want to see him.”

And Carlos knows what the answer will be to that—a resounding no. He also knows that he won’t be able to argue; his father is incredibly stubborn, and when he digs his heels in, there’s no moving him. But he needs to at least try—he’s not going to stop worrying about TK until he sees him, and probably not for a long time after that.

His dad sighs and fixes him with a firm look. “Carlitos, you and I both know that’s out of the question,” he says. “You’ve only just woken up, you need to give yourself time to heal before exerting your body even more. Besides, he’s in good hands and Owen is with him, so we’ll know as soon as there’s any change.”

“Joder, Papá, I know all that,” Carlos cries, frustrated, barely able to refrain from throwing his head back on the pillow. “I just hate that he’s here, hurt, and I can’t even see him.”

“Lo sé,” His dad smiles gently, something that’s probably supposed to be comforting, but really only gets on Carlos’s nerves. “Escúchame, hijo. Descansa. Cúrate. Then you can focus on TK.”

It’s easier said than done and his father knows it, but Carlos has no choice. The conversation is effectively put to an end by his dad reaching over and pressing the call button next to the bed. A nurse comes in and quickly sets about checking his vitals and asking enough questions to make Carlos’s head spin. His probable concussion becomes definite, but otherwise he’s in good shape, all things considered.

He can’t help but wish he weren’t.

*

Two days later, Carlos is deemed fit to be discharged, providing he has someone to help him and providing he agrees to rest and not do anything even close to strenuous. TK is also awake now but, according to Owen, he’ll be kept in the hospital for at least another week. The break to his pelvis was bad, so he’ll need a wheelchair for a while even after discharge, and his refusal to take strong painkillers means his recovery is going to be long and painful.

Carlos is itching to see him. It’s been torture cooped up in his room without knowing how TK was doing—there’s only so much relief messages passed through their fathers can bring. It had only been his father’s stern and steady presence that had kept him in that bed when he felt like he was losing his mind with worry.

But now, finally, he’s being wheeled into TK’s room and helped onto the chair next to the bed. Owen stands off to the side, watching the two of them with a mixture of affection and sadness in his gaze, and his dad hovers behind him, but Carlos only has eyes for TK.

He looks incredibly tired, but he attempts a smile when he rolls his head to look at Carlos, extending his hand out across the distance between them.

“Hey, Ty,” Carlos says softly, taking TK’s hand in his good one. “How are you feeling?”

“Been better. Not sure if I’ve been worse. I think this might just beat getting shot to that title.”

“That’s not funny.”

TK just hums, his eyes drifting closed for a second. “Maybe not.”

“Why did you push me?”

TK’s eyes fly open at the question, confusion overtaking his expression as he stares at Carlos. He moves as if to sit upright before groaning in pain, his face screwing up. Carlos reaches out for him, but he’s beaten to it by his father, who places a reassuring hand on TK’s shoulder.

“Take it easy, son,” he says gently. “Don’t move too much.”

“I hate this,” TK mutters, his body relaxing bit by bit. His gaze is still clouded when he looks back over at Carlos, but he manages a soft smile all the same. “I pushed you because I didn’t want you to get hurt. The car would have hit me either way; I’m just sorry I wasn’t able to get you out of the way in time.”

Carlos blinks at him, dumbfounded. “You’re sorry?” he asks, disbelief colouring his tone. “Ty, you’re in the hospital, seriously injured, because you chose to save me instead of yourself. Why would you do that?”

“You know why.”

Carlos does; of course he does, but it’s not enough to assuage the guilt still bubbling in his stomach at the sight of TK in the bed.

TK sighs, squeezing his hand. “You would have done the same for me,” he points out. “We both know you would have, so don’t you dare ask me to apologise for my choices.”

“I know. I won’t.” Carlos closes his eyes, deflating a little. “I just hate seeing you hurt.”

“And I hate seeing you hurt, so maybe you can do us both a favour and go home. I’ll be fine.”

Carlos must need his hearing tested, because there’s no way TK just said that. There’s no way his boyfriend told him to leave right after calling him out for hypocrisy. Except apparently he did, because he’s trying to disentangle their hands, and Carlos is not having that.

He grips onto TK even tighter and glares at him. “TK, if you think I’m leaving you here—”

“Carlos,” TK interrupts quietly. “I get it. But, babe, you need to rest and heal, and you can’t do either of those things sitting here.”

“Watch me.”

“No.” TK shifts his gaze over Carlos’s shoulder, a slight smirk playing at his lips. “Mr Reyes, can you make sure he rests?”

His dad laughs, leaning over to pat TK’s shoulder. “Of course. I’m sure once his mother sees him, she won’t let him out of her sight for a week anyway.”

TK grins. “Good to know.” He yawns and resettles himself slightly in the bed, his eyes fluttering shut. “Carlos, if you’re still here when I next open my eyes, I’m not kissing you for a month.”

“You shouldn’t make threats you know you can’t follow through with.”

“Don’t make me make it two.”

Despite himself, Carlos laughs. He leans over and presses a lingering kiss to TK’s temple, then stands as well as he’s able, leaning on his dad for support. “Alright, I’m going. I’ll see you soon. Love you.”

TK already sounds half-asleep when he mumbles, “Love you too,” back, and Carlos can’t even be embarrassed by how ridiculously smitten he must look, even though he’s in front of both their fathers.

He allows his dad to move him back to the wheelchair and says a quick goodbye to Owen, keeping his eyes on TK for as long as he can. Just as they reach the door, he catches TK’s eyes opening to slivers, obviously checking to see if Carlos is actually leaving. Carlos shakes his head at him, causing TK to flush at the knowledge he’s been caught. His eyes slam shut again, his tongue poking out childishly, and Carlos laughs, a lightness settling in his heart even as TK’s room disappears from view.

It’s going to be a long few months for the both of them, but they have family behind them to help them get through it.

And they have each other. Which, given everything, Carlos thinks is nothing short of a goddamn miracle.