#it was so fun seeing grian and joel kill mumbo and skizz just so gem could talk to them privately though

[dredgesnails]

something interesting: there were 32 total zombie player kills this session of wild life. 26 of them were by gem, joel, scar and grian (who got the most zombie kills with 12). everyone else who killed a zombie player did it just one time. obviously the (extended) family had a few ulterior motives in killing mumbo and skizz (so gem could talk to them, mostly, but also for grian to enact his own plans and revenge after mumbo killed grian) but i think its so funny that literally 80% of the kills were theirs. a dangerous team indeed...

[sk8erboyz]

i’m going to word vomit all my thoughts about the wild life finale here and it’s going to be incoherent until it stops consuming every corner of my mind and i sit down and organize my thought 🤞🏼 until then enjoy my raw unfiltered thought processes

he won by going against the mechanic !! he remained calm and rational and never died to a single wildcard !!! all of his deaths were by people not the mechanic !! the game did not win joel did !he did not go absolutely insane and give in the red haze and he won !!! by not doing what the game wanted !! which means the only curse not broken this season was the winners curse !!!

at every single point in the series everyone is collectively trying to kill joel because he just won’t seem to die but joel is absolutely convinced he’s made friends and is just happy to have friends this season and keeps giving people stuff and then they TRY TO KILL HIM and fail and he DOESBT EVEN NOTICE

and then they die trying to kill joel and he gives them diamonds !!!

joel’s pov by itself is so funny because he’s just a guy in his car with his family having a great time !! and then you watch everyone and it’s like oh. joel is the common enemy here- everyone used gem keeping him cool to their advantage. they used his trust and took whatever joel would give them and blew up his car and stole from him and every time he forgave them everyone turned around and just began plotting against him again. the only person he had was gem who gave her life so many times to the people who betrayed joel anyways. because gem never died to a wildcard and no one every actually got a kill on her, all her lives were lost either by a mob or she let someone take her life so they could gain one (like jimmy, skizz, mumbo) and then at the end joel has survived and he believes he still had friends (jimmy scar & lizzie , etho , grian ) so he goes to them one last time to try and gear up and protect everyone from the G’s who were the longest standing alliance and had the most people, and all the people who he thought were his friends only tried to kill him when he turned his back

and he still won !!!!! it was him and grian against the whole rest of the server and grian was just using him !’ gem was gone and joel couldn’t stay calm anymore because he couldn’t go back to gem when something happened!! so grian stroked joel’s ego and told him he could win and let joel fight everyone and take the rest of the server out and when he did joel went looking for grian and said something along the lines of ‘grian we did it!’ only to turn around to grain shooting at him which makes sense of course but then when you go watch grian’s episode you see then grian has been trying to snipe joel the second every one else was dead but just kept missing and he started panicking g because he couldn’t make the shot and then tried being friendly with joel again

he’s literally THE wild card ! through every series he is aggressive and unpredictable and dangerous and of COURSE the game he wins is when the game starts being aggressive and unpredictable and dangerous but who knows that game better than joel? he beat the game and its own mechanic!!

he is also the only happy winners pov we’ve had!!! every other winner won in a moment of grief and betrayal and anger and in joel’s eyes he won through persistence and staying with his family (which is both dramatic and situational irony because he didn’t actually. he won by clawing his way through what everyone expected of him and everyone else being so blinded by their rage instead of him. he saw all his flaws in past winners and all his past lives and everyone in this season and said no that will not be me this time) joel was also the only winner fighting without a cause. he was just there for the fun of it. for the mindless violence. he never lost anything because he played the game well. his car got blown up but it was always an easy fix. he didn’t pay any mind to his broken alliances so he had no time or knowledge to feel grief or betrayal for them. he and gem were together until the end and never betrayed each other every other winner fought for a person (grian fought against and for scar, scott won by seeking revenge against ren for killing pearl, scott blew himself up in double life so that pearl wouldn’t have to fight anymore, martyn went on a rampage when ren was killed, scar was completely alone and fought for himself and his survival because he had nothing and didn’t even realize when pearl had died) joel is just. in it for the rush- he has no reason for the violence and nothing to loose and nothing to gain

joel is the only winner who’s final death wasn’t in grief either. his final death was meant to be a trap he set up that he never got to use and he ran to it at the end laughing and excited and it failed. the trap failed- and he lived and laughed and ender pearled around until he died. and i saw one post in passing that was like ‘the server took care of him’ and it DID. it’s like this game was perfectly crafted for him- because of course joel wouldn’t die do something as chaotic and unbalanced as the wild cards. who would joel be to die to something he understands so well and channels in every move he makes? he thrives in the chaos and watchers saw him and choose him

grian had a LOT more control in this season than previous because of th wild cards and it’s feeding my watchers symbolism. he is trying to take the reins of the games from the watchers and reduce the violence and grief his friends have to go through so what to do the watchers do? they take his power away. he’s still in control on the wild cards of course, but how well can they work when the watchers are guiding a wild card of their own? and then skizz and mumbo both died due to joel (both indirectly- they died on the tower while trying to get more lives using the minecart trap) and in the end the only person grian is left with is joel who somehow managed to twist every wild card to his advantage and never made as much a misstep this season. ans grian has been too cocky this season, almost playing god with people coming to him for information about the wildcards and how to survive them. and in the end grian does exactly what the watchers wanted anyways and guides joel to victory despite still trying to ruin their game to the very last second and become the first two time winner

anyways that’s all GOOD JOB JOEL !!!! MY WINNER !!! FAST CAR FOR THE WIN

[whereispearlescentmoon]

Great points of today’s Pearl ep (a recap of my freak-outs, some of which will be getting their own posts)-

Exclusively spoilers below this line:

Cleo asking Pearl if she’s okay and Scott offering her a life if she goes red. Pearl defending herself when Scott says she keeps making enemies.

Cleo enabling Pearl and Scott trying to stop her. The eventual agreement that she can kill Gem or Joel if negotiations don’t work.

Never did I think I’d see the day but Gem attacking Pearl and Cleo responding with “She’s not done anything to you Gem!” And defending her? My neurons are firing lads.

Scar asking Pearl if shes okay?

BigB is officially fired from the GGGG, and the world possible person (Cleo) caught him doing it.

Impulse trying to do a British woman voice and failing so hard that Cleo fails to recognize her own quote.

Pearl catching Skizz and Mumbo like vermin under their base. Mumbo trying to convince her that her teammates don’t really love her because they won’t give her a life and trying to get her to betray them so she won’t snitch that Skizz is under their base. AND SHE DOES BETRAY THEM?? HELLO?

Bonus Imp and Skizz podcast except Mumbo and Pearl are Impulse in order to keep Mumbo and Skizz’ vid from being just them sneaking.

Ren wanting to kill Grian because he’s the one causing them all their pain and recruiting Pearl, Scar, and BigB… Watcher fans come get yall juice.

JOEL ALSO ASSUMING PEARL’S TEAM DUMPED HER?? Her referring to the parrots as “the canaries” and actually getting the fast and furious reference which does automatically put her in Joel’s good graces.

Mumbo and Skizz immediately sighing after they fail to kill the people coming to visit Pearl. Pearl then getting Mumbo and Skizz to reassure her that she has been making friends and her teammates are wrong.

Scott silently leading her away and telling her that Mumbo is under their base, and Pearl pretending she had no idea anyone was there and she’s been building the whole time. Mumbo lying for her???? Hello?? Mumbo trying to offer Scott the same deal he gave Pearl and Scott refusing?

“Ya know, I have no reason to go against Scott this season. I just think it’s funny. And that’s what I do every season! I do a little fun, I have a little glee, I have a little laugh and it’s, I dunno. But if you make a bunch of allies then nobody wants to kill you right? Right.”

MOON FAST! “You go moon! Look at that cousin in the sky!”

“I knew tnt minecarts were a bad idea. That’s why I don’t touch them with a ten foot pole.” VIOLENT LIMITED LIFE FLASHBACK

Pearl wanting her team’s approval of the base! Cleo calling her very talented!

This moment:

Martyn: Come on, let red Pearl out to play!

Pearl: No, look as much as she would love to, it’s too early for red Pearl. She can stay where she is.

Gem and Pearl getting along for a brief moment to watch the boys be stupid.

Pearl telling Scott not to trust BigB and Cleo saying BigB is working with the devils… Nosey Neighbor fans weep, Pearl and Cleo duo (I don’t know their name) fans cheer

PEARL SHOOTING BIGB WHILE CLEO CHEERS HER ON!!! NOSEY NEIGHBOR FANS WEEP PEARL AND CLEO DUO FANS CHEER

Pearl shooting Martyn?? Oh she’s got blood lust now!

“I’m in me mum’s car!”

Pearl, Tango, and Bdubs just watching the chaos and refusing to cross the bridge.

No Pearl deaths!!!!

[firequeenofficial]

Wild Life spoilers below! Like, a lot of spoilers.

So, Flower Husbands and Boat Boys fans, how're we feeling?

Jimmy asking Scott to look at his butt and Scott dropping everything to comply, then saying Jimmy's butt is maybe a bit bigger than the G's base, and Jimmy going in the most flirtatious voice ever, "Aww, stop it!" Why are they like this? You all know I'm a die-hard Ranchers truther, but oh my word.

And then Etho "tough guy" Slab coming to Joel to be like, "Joel, Bdubs is bullying me, come help!" and Joel going along with it IMMEDIATELY??? He didn't even question it, just went, that tracks, and went to go bully Bdubs on Etho's behalf. Not to mention Joel seeing the bamboozlers in boats and going, "Hey, that's mine and Etho's thing! I have to go find Etho!" He's so obsessed fr. (Also, Etho coming over to warn Gem and Joel Tango was on the hunt? "Tough guy" my ass, this guy physically cannot restrain himself from being nice and also obsessed.)

Also. Can we talk about Tango real quick (least surprising thing I've ever said)? This guy. He's almost as bad as Skizz at killing! How does he EVER get as far as he does? I say this with the maximum possible amount of love in my heart, Tango is my beloved, but goodness my gracious, he's such a wet cat of a man. The poor guy is so pathetic! I'm glad he can stay smiling and having fun throughout it all though, he's such a good sport. I did genuinely believe he was about to go out of the series about three times in his episode though.

I also loved Gem trying so hard to help the reds and yellows kill her without actively letting them do it was adorable. She was genuinely proud of Mumbo when he finally got her! I love how she interacts with everyone, especially when they're trying to kill her. She's either silent in concentration, sighing in exasperation, or just straight-up giggling with glee. She's having so much fun in this series, I love it. I'm so happy for her.

I loved the way people started gunning for Grian specifically cause he made the series. They're finally rising up against the Watchers, finally taking control of their own lives and narratives. Combined with the hc that each of the wildcards are an aspect of the Watchers (I'm assuming this is something about them being outside time? Idk), and this season is building up some insane lore possibilities.

[notsogoodangel]

Traffic Series: Who is the best player?

I was watching this video by Eddache in which he investigated who won the Wacky Races, in which he made a point to differentiate who won the most first places AND who is consistently the best player (such as who always came in second place), and I wanted to do the same.

This was very easy because, luckily, the Traffic SMP wiki (which I usually don't like to use) did give me the order of elimination for each season, so I didn't have to go through the last 2 to 3 episodes of every season just to do it. It was just a time saver.

Some disclaimers:

THIS IS NOT ABOUT KILLS, IS ABOUT POSITIONS ON WHO DIES FIRST. Kills require skill, but that is not as necessary as just surviving. Is a survival game after all. Plus there are plenty of graphs that show who has killed the most in a certain season across all seasons.

Originally I wanted to use the Nascar/F1/Mario Kart scoring system since it made the most sense, and is technically what inspired this investigation. The problem is that it doesn't give points after 10th-12th place, which wouldn't work for a game with 14-17 players.

Instead, what I did for the scoring system is that I put the number they placed (ex. Jimmy came in 14th), divided by the number of players in the season, and then divided those numbers by the number of seasons they have played. The reason why is because, for example, Mumbo placed 16th in a season but only played for 2 seasons, his number will be bigger than Jimmy, who has come in last every season and is, objectively, a worse player.

This is still not a perfect system because some players only have played once or twice, so I don't have enough data to truly reflect their average. Although the players who only played once or twice (Mumbo, Lizzie, and Gem), are about where you believe them to be.

Lastly, despite Double Life having pairs dying at the same time, I did give them individual scores. The reason is because there IS a real winner in that season, so I just used the positions they used in the wiki. I don't know why they gave them those positions, but I just used them for simplicity.

There are some ties, but what I did in those cases: I just chose who was on top based on another table I did, but didn't end up using because of the previous Mumbo-Jimmy problem. So, I will just use it as a tied break and fun facts!

ALRIGHT LET'S SEE THE RESULTS!!!!

PEARL IS THE BEST PLAYER!!!! SLAY QUEEN!!!

Here's the results in order:

PearlescentMoon

GeminiTay

Scott Smajor

Martyn Inthelittlewood

GoodTimesWithScar

Grian

impulseSV

RenDog

BdoubleO100

Ethoslab

Joel SmallishBeans

BigB/Bigbst4tz2

ZombieCleo

TangoTek

Skizzleman

Lizzie LDShadowLady

Mumbo Jumbo

Jimmy Solidarity

To be completely honest, I was surprised that Pearl is one of the best players. She is usually someone that people, players, and fans, don't tend to pay much attention to in this aspect. Like, THIS GIRL HAS NEVER BEING IN A PLACE LOWER THAN 4TH.

We know that Scott (3rd) is usually one of the last to survive and is almost a good luck charm for whoever he is allied with, or the players calling Martyn (4th) a survivalist and constantly considered a threat, and both know how to play the game VERY well, but people don't do that with Pearl.

What I was most interested was that middle section because we all knew that Jimmy, Lizzie, Mumbo, and Skizz are the worst players in the entire series. Everyone is very much aware of it, including themselves.

Who could have guessed that Grian is, statistically, a worse player than Scar. Grian and Scar have won once each, but Scar is consistently in 9th place aside from 3rd and Secret, while Grian is all over the place. He sometimes is on 4th, and sometimes he is 10th. Which is the same with Impulse, who he is tied with score-wise.

Fun fact: Etho and Joel, and BigB and Cleo, were tied in the other table that I didn't end up using, and that is reflected here in which all of them are VERY close to each other score-wise. So, if Etho is washed out/bad at PvP, Joel is, and BigB and Cleo are worse about it and shouldn't say anything about it.

Bdubs, Ren, and Tango are so interesting to me, because what do you mean Bdubs is better than half of the server???? How is Tango so bad he is under that big dip (He is 14th with 0.74, and Cleo the 13th is 0.56)!?! HOW DID I FORGET REN WAS 2ND PLACE IN LAST LIFE?!?!?! IS THAT REALLY MY WET PATHETIC DOG OF HERMITCRAFT SEASON 10?!?!

Also, here's the table with every place of every player and how many players were in any given season, for easier understanding:

PS: The winners of every season are the 1st, 3rd, 4th, 5th and 6th best players. It might help their overall average, but not fully because Impulse has the same score as Grian(6th), and has never won a game. As I mentioned, Pearl has never been a placed lower than 4th, and aside from Martyn and Scott hitting 10th and 11th, are always in the top half.

[usgsnajs]

Demise 2.0 standings as of episode 1👍 (I watched literally every perspective for this)

Other people have already done this but I didn’t see any that had everything I wanted to see on a list, so I made one for myself lol

Ghost: Cub, Doc, Grian, Impulse

Reaper: Beef, Cleo, Etho, Gem, Jevin, Keralis, Ren, Scar, Skizz, Tango

Alive: Bdubs, False, Hypno, Iskall, Joe Hills, Joel, Mumbo, Pearl, Stress, Wels, Xb, Xisuma

Wildcard: Zedaph

More detailed notes about everyone below

Stuff inside [ ] is how they died

Beef: Reaper [Impaled by a drowned]

Bdubs: Alive

Cleo: Reaper [accidentally broke block from under her and fell into lava]

Cub: Ghost [shot by skeleton while caving] -killed Scar-

Doc: Ghost [didn’t jump up high enough and got killed by an iron golem] -killed Tango

Etho: Reaper [got blown up by a sneaky creeper]

False: Alive

Scar: Reaper [accidentally opened a chest from Cub he knew was trapped]

Grian: Ghost [pushed off ledge by baby zombie while caving] -killed Gem

Gem: Reaper [launched by Grian’s fishing rod]

Hypno: Alive

Impulse: Ghost [shot by skeleton after digging straight down because Grian suggested it] -killed Skizz

*fun fact: he was the first out and the first to commit murder

Iskall: Alive

Jevin: Reaper [shot by skeleton while caving]

Joel: Alive

Joe Hills: Alive

Keralis: Reaper [punched an iron golem]

Mumbo: Alive

Pearl: Alive

Ren: Reaper [Blown up by creeper while sorting chests]

Stress: Alive

Skizz: Reaper [killed after Impulse punched him off a cliff]

Tango: Reaper [Doc dropped an anvil on his head]

Wels: Alive

xB: Alive

Xisuma: Alive (somehow)

Zedaph: ??? [burned to death while fighting a zombie] -his name has the color of ghosts but he didn’t kill anyone?? So he might just not be playing

*fun fact! He did not acknowledge demise at all in his video :D*

*Additional fun fact! Both Bdubs and Etho said in their videos that they didn’t actually know what the victory prize was lol*

Please god I hope I got everyone

[blicketdabest33]

Y'all remember that MCYT PJO au I asked for help with awhile ago? WELL HERE'S THE CABINS AND MY EXPLINATIONS BEHIND THEM!!

#1 Zeus Cabin: Jimmy, Joel Jimmy: He's a Zeus kid, but everyone somehow forgets about it. Joel: He's competitive and strong. Also, because Jimmy is his half brother through godly parent, i get to make a fun bit about him dating Lizzie. And one of his origins in Afterlife SMP was a thunderborn

#2 Hera Cabin: Scott Scott: Scott's whole thing is loyalty. Hera is the goddess of marriage and is insanely loyal to Zeus. However, I feel like Hera should get at least one affair. So now Scott can use peacocks as weapons.

#3 Poseidon Cabin: Skizz Skizz: Poseidon kids tend to be really, really loyal to a fault and heroic, both qualities I think Skizz possesses.

#4 Demeter Cabin: Sausage, Shelby, Bdubs, Stress Sausage: This man built Sanctuary in a jungle and has flowers in his hair. He sells wood. There is no other place to put him. Shelby: Mushroom gnome, spooky mangrove witch, powerful storm witch, i need not continue. Bdubs: Moss man. Stress: SHE HAS FLOWERS

#5 Ares Cabin: Martyn, False Martyn: His planet is Mars, which is the roman version of Ares. He ended Limited Life in such a violent way, i can't help it. He was also red for the majority of Secret Life. False: I just feel like False should get to kill people more often.

#6 Athena Cabin: Grian, Pix, Owen, Xisuma Grian: This sums it up pretty well

Pix: Smart man. Archeologist and definitely a nerd. I wanna see him skipping out on training just so he can read history books. Owen: He likes to explore and discover new things in Pirates. In Rats, he's a tinkerer. In New Life, he's an explorer who wants to study hybrids. In Empires, he's a Llama who's curious about how humans work. Just a very curious character overall. Xisuma: Admin. I'm not elaborating.

#7 Apollo Cabin: Gem, Oli, Lyarrah Gem: She is an Apollo kid because of her Empire in S2. She's the sunlight princess. Apollo kid. Oli: MUSIC. MAN. Lyarrah: She writes the captions for the hermitcraft recap.

#8 Artemis Cabin: Pearl Pearl: Y'know, Artemis could've just like... had a kid, even though she took that oath. It wouldn't even have to be with a guy. Gods can change to whatever gender they want. Anyway, Pearl gets to be an Artemis kid because her symbolism is moon, she loves dogs, and will commit murder and hunt at night.

#9 Hephaestus Cabin: Doc, Mumbo, Tango, Impulse, Cub, Zedaph, Fwhip, Iskall Doc: Redstone Mumbo: Redstone Tango: Redstone Impulse: Redstone Cub: Redstone Zedaph: Redstone Fwhip: Redstone AND has a red scarf (don't ask me how that's relevant) Iskall: Redstone

#10 Aphrodite Cabin: Keralis Keralis: Okay, I don't know why, but Keralis gives me the vibes of a very charming person. His voice is nice to listen to, so imagine how useful it'd be if I gave him charm speak.

#11 Hermes Cabin: Scar, Etho, Joe Scar: Trader Scar, scammer extraordinar. Etho: All i must say is Shady-E's. I get "jack-of-all-trades, master of none, often better than master of one" vibes from him. He's funny, he's mischievous, it just works. Joe: Comedy man. Excellent delivery. And, yet again, i look at this man and go "That right there is a multi-talented man with a habit for mischief."

#12 Dionysus Cabin: Joey, Beef Joey: *points at his season one empires theme* i need not say more Beef: Idk, food. I don't really have a reason. I don't know too much about Beef.

#13 Hades Cabin: Zloy Zloy: Zombie man. He writes the Hermitcraft recaps in the dark at 2am with nothing but pure spite.

#14 Iris Cabin: Katherine Katherine: SHE. HAS. COLORS. and also I couldn't put her in Demeter cabin because Shelby is already there and i am NOT excluding Nature Wives from this au

#15 Hypnos Cabin: Bigb, XB, Wels Bigb: Sleepy stuff, right? WRONG. Gaslight. Go in everyones dreams, make fake prophecies, peace out, and cause chaos. XB: I look at his fanon design, I see an alien, and I go "aha he sleeps" Wels: This guy (@dingdinghq) said so and i completely agree. Something about sleeping in S6.

#16 Nemesis Cabin: Edit: wels not here no more

#17 Nike Cabin: Ren Ren: VICTORY. I don't know much about Ren's story in the Life Series, but I look at this man and see someone who has won a lot.

#18 Hebe Cabin: 

#19 Tyche Cabin: TFC TFC: Man goes mining and gets really lucky. That's it.

#20 Hecate Cabin: Lizzie, Cleo, Jevin Lizzie: Witchy vibes. Also, Arson. Cleo: Arson. She uses her magic for Arson. Jevin: He's a magic slime. Also, Arson. All Hecate kids love Arson.

[mentalisill]

Ranking every Life Series Member based on how much I could beat them in a fistfight to the death (But I'm overconfident)

Characters not Content creators because I think I would be able to beat up most of the ccs and always winning isn't any fun

Also: I'm basing this off of when they were most insane, so like Griand and Joel when they were red in LL and Pearl in DL, if they haven't gone batshit crazy then whoopsies their loss

Lizzie - I say fairies aren't real and she explodes easy

Etho Slab - I do not think for the life of me that Etho Slab would be able to defend himself against anyone

Mumbo - I don't think I need to explain this one

Martyn In Thy Littlewood - pussy queen cry baby wet cat man I would Punch him and he'd run away to Rendog crying, but also if he gets possessed by the watchers or whatever that as in LimLife I'm dead but I think I could beat him before that happens

Joel Smallishbeans - All I have to do is call him short and he crumbles, although it might take me a few punches to get him down

Jimmy Solidarity - Doomed by the narrative lil canary man

Impulse - You see, you would think "oh impulse is tall and broad he would beat you in a fight" NO! I'll bite his ankles!!!!!!!

Bdubs - He's sneaky!!!! He's my fave!!!!!! he's so amazing!!!!!!! but I would be able to beat him he might've killed the end dragon but he can't kill me

Scott Smajor - Now, this one is tricky, I think I'd be able to beat Scott but I have a fragile ego so if he insults me too much I'll start sobbing

Cleorrrr - I wouldn't be able to hit her at all nope she'd win

Tango - a cheeky fella, has fire hair, I would put up a good fight but since its a fistfight and I don't have a weapon or armor I'm getting cooked alive

Grian - He'd beat me up while making fun of me :(((((((( I'd be on the floor sobbing and it wouldn't be no "I'm sorry!!!!! Scar!!!!! No!!!!" moment no. I'd be crying and he would LAUGH! But if we also take into account WATCHER GRIAN??????? FUCK THAT NOPE IM DEAD

Pearl - She'd kill me no doubt in my mind I am NOT winning this

Scar - He'd swindle me to death ????????? also he's buff

Gem - Uh huh yeah okay no I'm not winning???? No????? I'm just???? not?????? Not only would she kill me but she'd insult me while doing so

BigB, Skizz, Ren - I wouldn't have it in my heart to beat any of them actually I think I would try to hit one of them and it would deflect and I'd hit myself instead

[oshawottarchive]

[Pt 2] [Pt 3]

I’m angry so you guys get a bunch of incorrect quotes now <3 might draw some of them later

————

Etho: What is it called when you kill a friend?

Bdubs: Homicide

Tango: Murder

Skizz: Homie-cide

————

————

Tango: I just want someone to take me out

Skizz: On a date?

Bdubs: With a sniper gun?

Etho: Both if you’re not a coward

————

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Bdubs: A pessimist sees a dark tunnel

Skizz: An optimist sees a light at the end of the tunnel

Tango: A realist sees a freight train

Etho: The train driver sees three idiots standing on the tracks

————

————

Grian: You know, Joel gives Etho flowers every day, I wish you’d do that too

Scar: Okay

*later*

Scar: *gives Etho flowers*

Etho: ???

Scar: I don’t know, I’m confused too

————

————

Joel: I love you

Etho: *not paying attention* What was that?

Joel: I said I’m selling you to the ZOO

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Scar and Grian: McDonald’s! McDonald’s! McDonald’s!

Skizz: We have food at home

Impulse: *pulls into the McDonald’s drive through*

Scar and Grian: YAYYY

Impulse: *orders one black coffee and leaves*

————

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Skizz: *teaching Grian how to drive* Okay, you’re driving and Impulse and Scar walk into the road. What do you hit?

Grian: Oh, definitely Scar, I could never hurt Impulse

Skizz: The breaks, Grian. You hit the breaks

————

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Cleo: All in all, a 100% successful trip

Joe: But we lost Jevin

Cleo: Exactly

————

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Jevin: Will Joe be okay?

Cleo: He won’t be once I find him

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Mumbo: *setting down a card* Ace of spades

Cleo: *pulling out an Uno card* +4

Hypno: *pulling out a Pokémon card* Jolteon, I choose you!

Xisuma: *trembling* What are we playing??

————

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Tango: *laying in bed* Get out of my room

Zedaph: *standing just inside the doorframe* I’m not in your room

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Pearl: That’s it, you’re all grounded!

Pearl: Mumbo, no adventuring for you! Bdubs, no fighting for you! Scar, no stealing for you!

Pearl: And Joel. . . Is there anything you love?

Joel: Revenge

Pearl: No vengeance for you

Joel: I was gonna say “I’ll get you for this”, but I guess that’s off the table

————

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Tango and Skizz: *accidentally set the kitchen on fire*

Tango: We need an adult!

Skizz: Tango, WE’RE adults!

Tango: We need an adultier adult, get Impulse!

————

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Skizz: Dipple-Dop? I mixed redbull with coffee and now I can see sounds

Impulse: Skizz, I swear to god—

————

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Scott: *sighs*

Martyn: Are you bored?

Scott: Yeah

Martyn: Wanna start drama for no reason?

Scott: I thought you’d never ask

————

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Etho: *looking at a map* It’s a barren, featureless wasteland out there, isn’t it…

Impulse: Other side, Etho

————

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Joel: Pros and cons of dating me

Joel: Pros, you’ll be the cute one

Joel: Cons, holy shit where do I begin—

————

————

Scott: Being gay isn’t a choice. It’s a game and I’m winning

————

————

Joel: I think we should have glowstick juice injected into our bones when we’re born, so if we break our bones, we get a fun little surprise

Jevin: What’s the surprise?

False: Blood poisoning

————

————

Pearl: I’m going to get myself some soup

Gem: Be careful not to burn yourself, it’s hot

Pearl: Pfft, I won’t burn myself

*30 seconds later*

Pearl: Gem I burned myself

————

Expect more… sometime idk

[immeasurablesaladagere]

Team "In-Over-his-Head"

Series: A Wildcard is Active

-----

Word Count: 5275

Summery: Mumbo is saddled with wrangling two tiny teammates: a mischievous Grian and a bloodthirsty Skizz. When Skizz runs off by himself to get a kill, Grian is tasked with leading Mumbo on a wild goose chase to keep him distracted. It turns out to be more frustrating for Mumbo than Grian planned.

-----

“C’mon, Grian! My pal, my buddy, my amigo. Just one hint, just ooone little hint!”

Grian snickered as he ducked around Skizz. “Nope, not telling. You’ll find out soon enough.”

Skizz pouted. “I’m a red name, Grian, I need all the help you can give me.”

That was true, he did. Grian’s choice of ally ship, though he wouldn’t trade them for anyone else, were perhaps not the most invested in self preservation; but the integrity of the game would not be sacrificed just because Skizz and Mumbo gave him puppy eyes.

“And that’s why we ought to plan! Up to the meeting tower, come on.”

Grian grinned with bubbling anticipation as they scaled the bridges up to the precariously placed meeting tower and took their seats.

Mumbo chuckled at him. “You see? You’ve got that grin on your face that I don’t like. It makes me a bit nervous, I’ll be honest.”

He smiled wider. “What? I’m not grinning! I’m perfectly serious and focused on getting your lives back this session.” They would be doing nothing of the sort, he was absolutely certain. 

“Right, right. Game faces.” Skizz said, “I was thinking we get a hit on Gem or Joel, or maybe even…” He glanced over his shoulder for anyone who might’ve been listening. “Lizzie’s on the table, too. They’re all on six, it’ll be no skin off their nose, y’know?”

Mumbo scrunched up his nose. “I’m not so sure I want to tangle with Gem. That’s not how I’d like to go down to red, thanks.”

The two of them kept talking, mulling over various methods and targets, but Grian could only focus on the time. Five minutes till. Four. Three. Two.

Skizz poked him in the side of the head. “G? Are you even paying attention, dude? We need all hands on deck here!” 

He held up his communicator with a smile. “Just watching the time. Whatever happens, stay in your seat, grab onto something and don’t let go in five… four…”

“Woah, what— okay! Whatever you say!” Skizz grabbed onto the sides of his chair and Mumbo hastily followed.

“Three, two…” The colourful ellipses appeared in his minds eye, “One…”

A Wildcard is Active.

He fastened his communicator back on his hip and leaned back in his chair, watching as Mumbo and Skizz sat frozen, waiting for the other shoe to drop. After a long moment of silence, Skizz hesitantly relaxed and looked around.

“…You messin’ with us, G? ‘Cause nothing’s happening on my end.”

“You’ll see. Just give it a minute.” He pulled two blocks out of his inventory and placed them on either side of his chair for stability and rested his arms on them.

“Alright, well, I’m gonna go back down. Suddenly I don’t feel safe up here.” Skizz turned to walk back across the bridge to the mountain when Grian felt the buzzing in his chest. The first thought in his mind was oh dear, here we go, and the second was that he knew what was about to happen, and if they didn’t act now Skizz was about to be out of the series right then. 

He shot upright in his chair but stayed firmly put. “Mumbo! Mumbo grab him, grab him now!”

Mumbo scrambled to snag Skizz by the arm and yank him back to the platform just as the smoke appeared and he crumpled to the ground.

“Woah, G, what’s goin’ on, man!?” Skizz stared wide-eyed at his hands, which were giving off growing streams of purple smoke.

Mumbo wasn’t smoking, and Grian couldn’t help but start laughing even as his own body started to feel like jelly. “Oh Mumbo Jumbulio, you’re about to have a very fun session.”

“Wha— Grian you can’t just—!” Mumbo stammered, trying to hold Skizz upright, “What does that mean!? What’s going on?”

The purple smoke enveloped the platform, and he was out like a light. 

-

He was roused again from his brief nap by the sound of Mumbo’s panicked blubbering. He couldn’t quite bring himself to open his eyes right away, breathing deeply through the heavy drowsiness and fading buzzing under his skin. The sleepy feeling in his arms and legs was slowly starting to go away just like it had during the tests, and his body felt much lighter. So far so good, everything’s in order. His wings twitched experimentally, squished slightly by the back of the chair, and soft fledgling feathers tickled the back of his neck. Yep, definitely working.

“Grian, what on earth is this!?” Mumbo borderline squealed, and he finally blinked open his eyes. Mumbo’s face was white with shock and he was doing his best to cradle an equally bleary-looking and tiny Skizz in his arms. He was maybe five? Possibly four.

“You’re so loud…” He complained, “Jus’ gimme a minute to be sleepy.”

Mumbo spluttered. “No! I absolutely will not do that. Explain yourself right now!”

“You didn’t go through that transformation, I don’ wanna hear it.” He said calmly, pushing himself up from where he was slumped in the chair and stretching out his new body.

Skizz was more awake now, looking down at himself, then Mumbo, then Grian and back again, eyes growing as wide as dinner plates the longer he looked. “G, this is…”

“Terrible!” Mumbo exclaimed.

“Dope!” Skizz cheered, “D’you know how many kills I can get like this? I can fit into all sorts of little nooks and crannies, it’s like Sub-One Club all over again! Well, not you, Mumbo.”

“See? That’s the spirit.” Grian said, much to Mumbo’s befuddlement.

“I— You two— So, w-wait, how does this one work exactly?” Mumbo had the funniest look on his face as he tried to wrap his head around it all, and Grian giggled at him. Apparently Mumbo didn’t see the same humour in it as he did.

“Well, have a see!” He chirped, handing him a spyglass. Mumbo carefully let Skizz out of his arms, making an I’m watching you, stay right there gesture like he was a puppy before looking out over the server.

“Oh dear, oh my…” He turned back to them. “Does every team only have one adult? Is that it?”

“Eh, close enough. It’s random, so you’ve got a 50/50 chance of staying the same,” He pointed at Mumbo, “or being kiddy-fied. Skizz got real unlucky.”

Skizz scrunched up his face. “An’ why’s that now?”

“‘Cause you got real small. You can be a bigger kid or super tiny, and you got one of the tiniest.” He said matter-of-factly. Or, as much as he could. Even after doing a bunch of tests he could never get used to how silly his voice sounded in the kid form.

“Well, if I’m one of the tiniest, you gotta be, too!” Skizz pointed out, “You’re like the same as me!”

He was hoping to get away without anyone pointing that out, but alas. He knew from the moment he got his bearings that he had landed somewhere on the smaller end of the scale. He was hoping for bigger, but he could still cause plenty of mischief like this. “Yeah, but I’m just a smidge older, so I’m still better than you.”

“What!? You are not!”

“Am too, I tested it, remember? I’m seven, an’ you’re like five! I’m way bigger.”

“No you’re not.” Mumbo said, having finally at least slightly pulled himself together, and Grian pouted at him. Betrayal. “Mate, you’re six at most, maybe even five. Oh gods, you’re six, at most...” He muttered.

Grian patted him consolingly on the knee. “There there, Mumbo. An’ I’m not five! Avians are jus’ smaller bioj— bio— agh! Bi-o-lo-gi-cally.”

Mumbo dragged his hands down his face. “This is so strange… Right, so does that mean I’m like… Your parent or something? I don’t have to watch after you guys now, do I?”

Grian shrugged and hopped off his chair. “Not if you don’t want to. You’ll just be leaving two kids defenceless and all alone in the world, but I can’t force you to do anything.”

“Hey, I ain’t defenceless!” Skizz said, but Mumbo just shook his head.

“No, Grian’s right. I can’t- You two probably shouldn’t be left alone. Especially not Skizz, I mean— what if you die? I can’t have that on my shoulders.” He looked at them seriously, and Grian had to try his hardest not to snicker. “You know what? I’m gonna be the best darn parent on this server, just you watch. Come along now, it’s not safe up here.” He ushered them back over the bridge, pushing them as far into the safety of the middle as possible.

Skizz groaned. “Nice goin’ G.” He grumbled.

Grian just laughed.

-

“How am I s‘posed to get a kill with you hoverin’ over me?” Skizz complained, “No offence, but I gotta go this one alone.”

Mumbo waved him off, putting plates of toast and bacon down onto a makeshift table. “We can talk about that right after a bit of breakfast, how about that? We’ve got a lot more to think about than I thought this session.”

Grian grimaced at the bacon on his plate. Right. It had been an unfortunate few hours the day he had discovered during testing that indeed all of his biology returned to his child self after the transformation. Which meant regaining the digestive system of a young avian, which meant being unable to properly digest meat. He cringed at the memory of that tummy ache.

“What’s wrong, Grian?” Mumbo asked.

“I can’t eat the bacon ‘cause I’m a small bird now...” He said sadly, “Oh, that’s the worst thing about this whole wildcard.”

“More like the best! Yoink.” Skizz reached over and snatched the bacon off his plate and onto his own.

Mumbo frowned. “Oh. Do you want me to find you something else? Do you like… uh… seeds..?” 

The question was asked so hesitantly yet so genuinely that Grian had to pause for a moment before bursting into a fit of giggles. 

“L-Look, I don’t know, okay!?” 

“Ha ha ha— seeds! Seeds, Skizz! Hee-hee-hee!” It took him a solid minute to calm down, with the mental image of shoving a handful of straight wheat seeds into his mouth causing him to break down again every time he managed to get a grip.

Mumbo’s face was as red as an apple. “Yes, yes, I get it, no seeds. It’s really not that funny, is it?”

He wiped a tear from his eye and finally took a bite of his toast when he was sure he wouldn’t choke. “It really is… I’m just a veg-e-tar-ian, Mumbo, I’m not eating straight seeds.”

“Alright then, I’ll see if we have something else you can eat. You’re not going to be full on just toast.” He got up and began rooting around through their chests. Grian watched, thoroughly enjoying himself.

“He became a mum so fast, didn’t he?”

Skizz rolled his eyes. “Yeah. Listen, G,” He dropped to a whisper and Grian’s ears perked up. Whispers were the universal language of scheming. “I gotta get a kill and Mumbo’s never gonna let me go on my own. I need you to do something for me.”

“I’m listening…”

“I need you to keep ‘im distracted for me. Lead ‘im on a wild goose chase when he comes lookin’ for me, and don’t tell him where I’m goin’, got it?”

And oh boy did he like the sound of that idea. He looked over at Mumbo, who was still buried inside their chest monster, and nodded. “Now’s your chance to escape! Go, I won’t say a word.”

“You’re the best, G. I’ll be back with a green name.” Skizz hopped down from his chair and slunk away, making a shh gesture just before ducking out of sight and breaking into a sprint. Grian smirked to himself.

Mumbo returned to the table and Grian jolted back into a ‘I wasn’t doing anything suspicious’ pose. “So we didn’t have much. I’ve got you some carrots and glow berries, but— wait, where’s Skizz?”

Grian plucked the bundle of glowberries from Mumbo’s hand and popped one into his mouth.

“Grian? Where did Skizz go?”

He shrugged. It was technically the truth, he didn’t know where Skizz was planning to go.

Mumbo made an exasperated noise and ran his hand through his hair. “Already? I’ve lost one already! Grian, you must’ve seen which way he went. It’s not safe for him out there!”

“Mm, he went tha’ way, towards the Tuff Guys.” He lied through a mouthful of berries. He forgot how good these tasted. 

“Alright, well, you can eat these on the way. We’ve got to find him quickly, before he does something too rash. Oh who am I kidding? I’m sure he already has! Come on, up, up.”

“Can’t I just finish my breakfast?”

“Nope. Let’s go, show me exactly where he’s gone.”

-

Mumbo frowned. “And you’re absolutely certain he went this way?” 

“Mhm, definitely!”

Now, call him crazy, but Mumbo got the distinct feeling that Grian was perhaps lying to him. For being so certain that Skizz had run off to the Tuff Guys not long ago, their base was very obviously deserted. He knew this because Grian had insisted on searching the entire place from top to bottom, snooping behind every chest and scouring every nook and cranny that a five year old could possibly be hiding in. Now they were at Ren and Martyn’s base after Grian swore up and down that he saw a “very Skizz-shaped blob” running through the forest nearby.

“Ren, Martyn! Are you home?” Grian called. 

He had to admit, it was rather endearing to see Grian hopping about on his toes to get some height on the wall Mumbo was able to peer over with ease. Inside the walls he watched Ren haul Martyn up by the scruff of his shirt and away from where he had presumably been trying wrestling with their wolves just seconds before. As quickly as things had gone sideways with his adventure into parenthood, Mumbo supposed there were some small graces to be thankful for. Like not being forced to babysit Martyn.

“Ah, is that a little Grian I hear?” Ren said, “Hey, stop wiggling you— Come on in, dude!”

“Mumbo’s here, too!” Grian spun around and reached his arms up, making grabby hands at the air. “Gimme a boost.” 

Mumbo raised an eyebrow at him. He was most definitely capable of climbing up himself, but what could it hurt to humour him? “Uh huh. Is that we ask now?”

“Please.”

“Fine.” 

Grian’s little wings flapped as he hoisted him up and onto the wall, and Mumbo climbed over after him.

Ren flipped Martyn around so he was holding him like a bundle of planks under one arm and greeted them with a smile and a wave. “Good morning, Mumbo! What brings you two to our humble abode? I see you’re missing one, where did ol’ Skizzleman run off to?”

Mumbo watched as Martyn wriggled around uselessly in Ren’s grip. “Well, you see, that’s actually why we’re here. Skizz has run off by himself and we’re desperately trying to find him before he gets himself killed. Grian said he may have come by here, have you seen him?”

“Oh, I see. You’ve got a runaway, have you? Hey-!” Martyn started kicking, trying to clip Ren’s back with his shoes. “Fine, fine! You can go down. Go play with Grian or something, just no more wolf-wrestling!” 

Martyn turned to stick his tongue out at them as he and Grian ran off to their towers.

Ren sighed. “He really is a handful.”

Mumbo couldn’t agree more. “Don’t I know it. It’s not even been half a day!”

“So, like I was saying, I don’t think we’ve seen Skizzly around here. I could’ve missed him though, I’ve been trying to wrangle Martyn for the past hour. He’s just got so much energy.”

He chuckled. “I did see that. Was that what the wolf-wrestling was about?”

“I told him to find something to burn off some stink and apparently that translated into ‘go fight the dogs, Martyn!’. I swear, I don’t know if it’s a kid thing or just a Martyn thing.”

“Could be both, to be fair.”

Their chit chat was interrupted by a high-pitched whoop! from above their heads, and Mumbo watched in horror as Grian, lead tied around his waist, jumped from the balcony of Martyn’s sky base and dangled mid-air. Martyn sat crouched over the ledge, tying the other end of the rope to a fencepost in as many knots as possible with the most devious grin he had ever seen on a child.

Ren yelped. “Martyn!”

Mumbo felt faint. “Grian!”

Grian cheered as he swung himself back and forth, flapping his wings. “Look Mumbo, I’m flying! Wheeee!”

“Oh my gods, Grian, get down from there!” He almost couldn’t watch. At any moment the lead could slip off his tiny body or the rope would snap and Grian would plummet to his death.

“I can’t hear youuuu!”

“Martyn Littlewood you let Grian down from there this instant!” Ren shouted. Martyn looked conflicted for a moment, but Grian put a stop to that quickly.

“Never surr-en-der, Martyn! He’s not the boss of us!”

“Oh, we’ll see about that. I’m coming up there!” Ren marched over and began climbing the ladder, and then everyone was panicking.

“Uh, Grian? He might be the boss of us, what do I do!?” Martyn fretted. Where could Mumbo get some of those intimidation skills?

Grian flailed precariously and Mumbo flinched. “Uh— uh— I dunno! Wait, yes I do! Lemme down! Cut the lead!”

“What!?” Martyn and Mumbo yelled in unison.

“Martyn, don’t you dare!” Mumbo pointed as threateningly as he could from the ground. He couldn’t go up after them in case, admins forbid, Grian took a fall, so he could only watch.

Ren was closing in on them, and right as he got his head up the top of the ladder, Martyn made his decision and cut the rope. Mumbo’s stomach dropped.

“Mumbo, catch me!” 

And thank goodness, all of the reflexes Mumbo possessed in his entire body went into throwing down a bucket of water and diving into it to catch Grian just before he hit the ground. His suit was soaked through, his heart was beating like like a hummingbird, and he felt slightly dizzy, but Grian sat safely in his arms, barely a drop of water on him and cheering like he’d just had the time of his life.

“Yeah! Again, Mumbo, again!”

He let out a deep, shaky breath. “No. Never again. We’re leaving.” 

Grian flopped in his arms like a bag of sand. “Awwww…”

He looked up the tower, where Ren had a pouting Martyn by the shirt yet again. “Thank you for the information, Ren, but we’ll be on our way now.”

“Alright. Good luck, dude!”

He was certainly going to need it. 

From there, every single location Grian led them was turned out to be more chaos than the last. With each tizzy Grian got himself into, each hour of daylight wasted, the more frustrated Mumbo became. He was certain now that Grian was messing with him, leading him on some wild goose chase with no real end in mind. First it was dangling from Martyn’s tower; then it was letting out Gem and Joel’s farm animals where Mumbo not only had to deal with the squabbling of three children, but also put all of the animals back because he was the only one big enough to do so; then it was running off and playing hide-and-seek in a cave and forcing him to come find him; and then he tried to play chicken with the Four G’s explosive-trapped wheat fields. Now it was nearing evening, they had nearly toured half the server, and Skizz was nowhere to be seen. He had been kicked by a horse, shot by a skeleton twice in the caves, listened to tantrums, and nearly had at least three heart attacks. To say he was getting fed up would be an understatement.

And Grian appeared to be none the wiser to Mumbo’s irritation. In fact, he seemed hell-bent on making everything worse. It was obvious the wildcard was affecting Grian’s mind to an extent, but at this point he had to have known better. That was the most infuriating part of it all. He knew. 

Grian abruptly stopped walking in front of him and he bumped into him. 

“Hey! Watch where you’re going, I’m very fragile, y’know.” 

Mumbo clenched his jaw.

“Now that I think about it, I uh… I’m pretty sure I saw Skizz coming this way instead. Maybe BigB’s seen him.“

“And you’re sure? Because Grian, I’m going to be very upset if you’ve been lying to me this whole time and I’ve walked around the server for nothing.” 

Grian’s eyes flickered down to his communicator and back, then he flashed a big grin. “Yep!”

So into the dark oak forest they went. Even though it was pointless, Mumbo called out Skizz’s name as they walked to no response.

“Alright, Grian. I don’t know what-“ He turned around and Grian was nowhere to be seen. Again. “Oh for Pete’s sake! Grian, get back here!”

A familiar squeaky voice called back to him.

“Oh no! Zombies! Whatever shall I do!?”

He took a deep breath through his nose and stormed in the direction of Grian’s voice, sword drawn. Only when he found the clearing, there was just Grian, two zombie spawn eggs in his hands.

“Grian, don’t you dare—“

Two zombies were suddenly lunging at him, and while he was able to take them both down without much trouble, one did manage to get a hit on him. 

Grian giggled like it was the funniest thing in the world. “I got you!”

He was so distracted that he didn’t see the creeper crawling out of the brush towards him. Mumbo lurched forward and was just barely able to put his shield up in time to protect them from the blast. Grian stared at the creeper hole for a moment, eyes wide, and chuckled nervously.

“Heh, thanks for the save...”

Mumbo’s grip clenched around his shield. “Right, that’s enough of this forest.” He took Grian by the arm and half-dragged him back out into the open. Now, on top of everything, he was covered in dirt from head to toe.

Grian ruffled his feathers and brushed off the few specks of dirt he managed to get on him. “W-Well, Skizz clearly wasn’t in there. I think next—“

“No! No more, enough!”

Grian froze.

“What you don’t seem to understand is that I actually care about the wellbeing of this team! I’ve been trying to find Skizz to keep him safe, and instead I’ve been trying to save you from trying to kill yourself on purpose all day! Wasn’t it your idea in the first place for me to look after you!? What is it you want from me here, exactly?” 

And he got nothing. Grian didn’t have a single thing to say for himself.

“Forget it. We’re going home. Hopefully Skizz has found his way back, because I’m done for today. Let’s go.”

-

Grian’s eyes were glued to his shoes as they walked silently through the field.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. He was supposed to be causing harmless trouble and Mumbo was meant to be pulling his hair out like they always did, but now Mumbo was angry at him. Genuinely angry. The thought hurt more than it should have, and tears were burning in his eyes against his will. He tried to remind himself that it was just the wildcard talking. He wasn’t actually meant to be so upset about all this, but he was. He didn’t want Mumbo to be angry with him, he was just trying to have fun. He was just trying to help Skizz, but now he’d made Mumbo hate him.

He glanced up hesitantly. Mumbo’s back was to him, but he could still tell how angry he was. He could hear the slow, forced breaths he was taking, he could see the way his hands were clenched around his sword and shield, he could feel it. 

Mumbo’s angry with you. He’s so angry with you. Why didn’t you stop? Would Skizz have been mad at you if you stopped? Was someone going to be mad at you no matter what you did?

The more he thought, the harder it became to keep the tears in. His throat ached, his eyes hurt, and his nose was getting plugged. He didn’t want to sniffle in case Mumbo heard him, but it was getting hard to breathe.

Finally, without him really noticing when, they made it home. 

“I’m going to bed early tonight.” Mumbo said, not turning around, “Keep out of trouble, alright? If Skizz comes back… I don’t know, at this point. Tell him to go to bed.”

And he was about to leave. He was about to go to bed and spare Grian from the humiliation of crying in front of him, but then the pressure grew too much, and his throat hurt too badly, and he really couldn’t breathe. He sniffled, and Mumbo turned around.

“Grian? Are you… crying?”

No, go to bed please, please go away. “N-No. It’s jus’ the wildcard acting up, I’m not-“ His voice broke. “I-I’m not—“

Mumbo frowned, concerned because of course he was. “Why are you crying?”

There wasn’t a reason, not really. He’d gotten yelled at, rightfully so, and now his stupid brain was making him cry. But when he tried to say that, nothing came out. Everything he was feeling felt like it had been multiplied by a hundred, suffocating reasonable Adult Grian who would have just apologized and moved along.

He hiccuped and scrubbed at his eyes as hard as he could with his sleeves like he might be able to make Mumbo un-see. Go away tears, go away. “Thi-is is so st—stupid, m’sorry.”

Mumbo knelt down in front of him. He looked guilty, like he was the onewho had to be sorry for today. “Is it… because I snapped at you?” 

He couldn’t bring himself to nod, but his silence gave it away. Tears finally began to slip down his cheeks and shame joined the cloud of emotions swirling around in his head.He knew needed to calm down, apologize properly, his breath was too hiccup-y and his body felt like he was going to explode.

“Would, maybe…” Mumbo opened his arms, “Would a hug help?”

He swallowed. It would. It would help so much, but he didn’t move. Mumbo shouldn’t be comforting him when he was the one who was bad all day. That wasn’t how it was supposed to go.

“Alright, well, my arms are getting tired now, so I’m just going to hug you, and you push me off if that’s not cool. How about that?” Mumbo wrapped his arms around him, and like a switch flipped Grian flung his arms around his neck, squeezing tight.

“M’sorry, m’really s-so—rry, I’m being dumb.”

“I don’t think you’re being dumb. You’re a kid— well, sort of, and being yelled at would freak everyone out. Even me, and I’m not in the body of a child.” He chuckled lightly, and why did Mumbo have to be so good at making him feel better? That wasn’t fair! He didn’t deserve it at all, he didn’t—

“What was that, Grian?”

“I-I said I don’ d-deserve this!” He cried, “I was bei-ng bad a-all day and now you’re tryin’ to make me feel better! T-That’s not how it’s s’posed to work! You’re s’posed to be mad at me!”

Was this a tantrum? Oh gods. He was trying to apologize and he was only making it worse.

Mumbo was quiet for a long moment, thinking probably. About what? How silly Grian was being? Or worse, about how he was pretending not to be angry for his sake?

“How about this,” He finally said, “You let me worry about what I should and shouldn’t be mad about, hm? And I’ve worried on it, and I say that I’m not angry anymore.”

No. That wasn’t what he wanted. Sure, a small part of him was cheering with joy that Mumbo wasn’t angry with him anymore, but the other part only got more upset. “O-Only ‘cause I’m crying…” He mumbled bitterly.

“Hey now, you’re not listening to me. I said I’m not angry anymore, I didn’t say why, did I?”

And no, Grian supposed he didn’t. He drew in his first proper breath in a while. “Then why aren’t you? ‘Cause you should be.”

Mumbo slowly eased them out of the hug and childishly, Grian wanted it back. “Well, because I’ve had time to calm down and think about it, just like you have.” Mumbo took a big deep breath, and motioned for him to do one too. “See? I also figured there was probably a reason you were acting that way. Am I right?”

Grian nodded. He supposed now was a good a time as any to give up the ghost. “Uhm… This morning, S-Skizz asked me to keep you busy s-so he could go get a kill in secret.” He admitted, “It wasn’t s’posed to go all day, but he never got a kill so I just kept going. I’m really sowwy, Mumbo.”

Wait.

Mumbo snorted, and Grian’s cheeks just about burst into flames. “Sorry! I meant sorry!” He hid his face in his hands, “Oh my gosh I hate this. Whose idea was this!?”

“Yours, mate.” Mumbo chuckled, standing and ruffling his hair. “Now come on, I wasn’t kidding about being knackered. It’s bedtime, for both of us.”

On cue, the ten minutes of crying finally settled over him, and he yawned. ���Fine by me.” 

Instinctively he started following Mumbo up to the stair landing where he kept his bed, and the fact that he had his own across the chasm completely skipped his mind.

…Until Mumbo pointed it out. 

“Oh, coming to bed with me, are we?” 

Goodness gracious what was wrong with him? “R-Right! Sorry, heh, I’ll—“

“You can sleep here if you want. I’d say there’s enough room for two on this bed, with how tiny you are.”

“Well now, that’s just disre— dis- oh forget it. Mean.”

“Oh I know, I’m so cruel to you, Grian. Come on, hop up.” He held up the covers for Grian to climb underneath.

It was incredibly undignified, just how much he had to kick his feet and flap his wings to haul himself up onto the mattress, but he made it. He yawned again. Definitely time for bed.

Mumbo tucked them in soundly, and after one last quick check for mobs, laid down for the night.

“Goodnight, Grian.”

“G’night, Mumbo.”

-

Grian woke up what felt like only minutes later to the bed dipping. It was pitch black out, but the soft glow of Skizz’s halo lit up his face as he crawled up beside them. His eyes were still red.

“Mm... Skizz?”

“Hey G-man. Thanks for keepin’ Mumbo off my tail today. How’d it go?”

“All that, and you didn’t even get a kill?” He mumbled blearily, mostly to himself.

“Hey, rude. But listen, I have a plan, I just need some more time. D’ya think you can cover for me tomorr—“

Grian blinked at him once, twice, then rolled over and buried himself back under the blankets. “No way. Never again, Skizz. Never again.”

[polaritiesoop]

Gem and Lizzie would make for fun enemies as I think they would make great for a duo. Is it just me? Like better if it's one sided rivalry like with Joel and Scott. Lizzie is confused, Gem is bloodthirsty. Must be just me and my pirate concept with pirate captain Gem and her beef with the ocean and Lizzie as the Ocean Queen.

lemme rant about my concept

Gem is cursed by some ancient entity to shift into an ocean siren hit with the urge to eat people and longing to breathe underwater, she hates it because her siren features are slowly becoming permanent almost replacing her hybrid features of being a deer. Which she is devastated of as she is the sole survivor of her village kind. At some point she and her crew rescued Joel from captivity as he was a prince of a kingdom in the middle of a war. And Joel has the attention of Ocean Queen Lizzie, straight up being courted by her and he has an embarrassing crush on her yet is oblivious. When Gem realizes Joel is connected with her, she keeps Joel captive and demands Lizzie to cure her curse. Lizzie, who was not the one to cast the curse nor is she powerful enough to undo a curse, is confused on why Gem is being so hostile and keeping her from seeing Joel. They would have squabbles in the ocean and Lizzie is just half confused and half annoyed that Gem keeps fighting her. Plus she's embarrassed because Gem wins nearly all the time. Of course it eventually develops into friendship through the different misadventures of Gem and her crew.... And Lizzie is there on the ocean cuz she can't really stay much on land and Gem would aim for her head if she ever tries to take a step on their ship. she really wants to join the crew but Gem keeps refusing. Joel feels like Gem is acting like a parent keeping him away from Lizzie, Taylor Swift's Romeo and Juliet style of goofy lovestory.

Gem's crew consist most of the magical mt. cast that might be also cursed like Gem in diff. ways and so each of them have their own stories. Scar is a wanted criminal and vex hybrid and might/might've not stolen an important artifact from the last cannibal cult he was a part of (triple whammy) and might/might not be threatened every time with death because he got the attention of an ancient entity, I wonder why? Grian is a runaway prince that teenaged Gem had the unfortunate time with when he sneaked into the pirate ship of another crew Gem was once a cabin girl for. Now he is in Gem's crew disguised as a middle aged fisherman that contributes jack shit on the crew, but can't be kicked out cause he's a great fighter and the Snail Colony both cursed Gem and Grian as their servants and they are inseparable by contract. Skizz was supposed to assassinate Joel, but had grown fond of the man while taking on the role as his personal knight, and so was protecting him all the time when Prince Joel was kidnapped and the two of them formed a deeper friendship when they were kept captive . Skizz is definitely an ancient entity that is not aware he is one, has an awful amnesia of his divinity, and will start to remember while having a second go at puberty in the form of wings. Many Many sprouting wings. Impulse has a touch with death, he does not know why but he is happy to see his bestfriend Skizz again! He is plagued by the ghosts that start to randomly haunt their ship but he knows it's because of Scar...because they keep telling him to kill Scar. Oh, and Impulse encounters ghostly Joel clones pretending to be Joel of a variety of killing moods, for whatever reason they are targeting Skizz. Something is not right with Joel.

What about Mumbo? uhhhhh Normal Guy™. Genuinely loves to tend to the ship be it redstone and building. Experiences all the horrors of his friends' curses first hand. Does help them and somehow always at the scene of the crime but also at the resolution of said crime. It's almost suspicious how he keeps surviving....

Yeah, so pirates, lotsa ancient entities and curses and cults and crazy island colonies with more curses. but most importantly. snails. and the moon might start cash landing on earth because for some reason the moon goddess (Pearl duh) is now on earth and her powers are gone and Gem needs to help her. Somehow.

[the-murderous-hampter]

With the new life series out now and the first teams formed I have some thoughts

Gem and Joel: Like either they end up in a 1v1 and one of them takes the win this series or they die first in a glorius fight. This is based on them being good at the game but also impulsive. They will hopefully join forces with Scar, Jimmy and Lizzie because that would be so much fun to see

Scar, Jimmy and Lizzie: They will probably be the dominant team when it comes to politics. Scars plus 10 in persuasion and deception with Jimmys ability to romance every man in the series and Lizzies charisma(I do not know what Lizzies thing is) they will probably be able to survive

Mumbo, Grian and Skizz: It seems like we have the team that will definitely survive to the end…. if it werent for the simpel reason that all of them have their own way to spontaneously combust. Mumbo will get into a fight with someone that he sould not fight and then killed, Skizz will sacrifice himself for some reason to save someone and then die and Grian will be alone and then dispatched of quickly. But hey, they will be fun to watch until that happens

Ren and InTheLittleWoods: This is just fan-service in a nut shell. Easly the team that will be the most loyal until death. That might not be true based on Martyns Limited Life betrayl but I am more thinking of Third Life. For the conclution of their series I want them to do the most dramatic reanactment of Romeo and Juliet but gay

Impulse, Pearl, Scott and Cleo: The girls, the gays and their granpa. I have not seen any of their perspectives but I have seen some glimts of them from other perspectives. I think this team has a high chance of breaking apart due to having some internal problems or atlest thats what a lot of people seam to think

Tango, Etho and Bdubs: This seams like another team with a high chance of breaking apart. Once more I have not seen any of their perspectives. I have heard that Tango might get betrayed by somebody on the team. This is what I have heard from people that have seen their perspectives

BigB: He is alone in the Pale Forest so that is intresting. He has no teammates right now but hopefully he joins somebody sone

So I thought that this post would be 100 words long but it turned out to be a bit longer

[thecoolerliauditore]

big post now that the adrenaline is cooled down a bit. thoughts on each team so far.

overall: ohh I really didn't think I would be enraptured again I really didn't think I would be. Like don't get me wrong I'm not one for wanting the series to end or anything but I was very, very happy about the year long break after Secret Life because it was feeling like quite a lot of content to the point where it was overwhelming.

That break was crucial, I think, to the vibes since I don't know if it's just me but the players just feel like they have so much more energy and excitement for the new season. Etho and Mumbo especially are so quirky this session.

The new mechanic is. shrugs. Really no way to judge it yet seeing as we've pretty much barely seen what it can entail. The fact that everyone has six lives though is making me think some of them are gonna be crazy in future sessions cus that's a ridiculously generous number otherwise and I assume Grian doesn't intend for this season to be twice Third Life's length.

EIGHTEEN PLAYERS! EIGHTEEN PLAYERS! Lizzie, Mumbo, Rendog, Gem 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 I don't have much to add I'm just so happy we're finally getting a season with All of Them. Rendog Ren Ren Diggity Dawg I'm so happy. I'm so happy.

The lag on the server looks um ..... ? Aternos lookin ass. I hope it doesnt impact them too much beyond this episode and they get that fixed cus whoagh that is um bad. Joel being soooo fucking angry about it is so funny please never change Joel.

~

Renwood Mound: First of all horrid name but I would be disappointed by anything less sexually suggestive. Second of all please check up on your Treebark mutuals this is a difficult time. Refeeding syndrome might just kill a couple of you I'm so sorry.

I'm not a big Ren/Martyn understander but my dash has been more celebrating their reunion than crying tears of anguish like the other toxic rebounds (ethubs, tango, pearl) that have popped up so I can only assume it's going to be okay we're all gonna make it.

If they do stay as a duo this season is going to be crazy for Martyn specifically I think. He's already gotten the betrayal he wants, he's already achieved the villainous role he so wants to play, and now it's just him and Ren together with no Dogwarts to lead. I genuinely have no idea where this one will go. o7

~

BAM Boys: I really hope the "boys" part stays in the name despite Lizzie joining them at the end for my very specific Lizzie headcanons. It would tickle me.

Anyway we're finally freed from the grasps of blue man and get the Scar/Jimmy team up this time with added Lizzie flavour. I'm very excited and like. I've seen a lot of people doubting this team will go far which confuses me because I don't know if you guys are aware but Scar won last season. And Lizzie, despite her early death in SL, really is no pushover either (she had one of the highest body counts in LL and I wish more people talked about that).

Scar specifically is in a great spot with pretty much full diamond armour already. He gets all giddy while mining and says to himself something like "ooh I get to share some with Jimmy!" which is so sweet to me.

Scar remaking the reputation board from Third Life is actually insane. What is he doing.

All this to say I think this team looks wholesome and I'm optimistic for their future. This could be Jimmy's Mounders. Or it could be Fairy Fort 2 idk let's see.

~

I think Bigb's possessed again.

~

The Hobbits(???): Hilarious to me that they stole Flower Husbands' original branding. Anyway Grumbo is back idk if I know them well enough to make a statement but I'm mentally chucking them into the toxic rebound box in my head just to get the number up.

This is the POV I've seen the least of but they seem fun. I wonder if being out of the horrific environment that was the Southlanders will do any good for Grumbo's relationship. Skizz being there also tends to bring the mood up 400% (unless it's Dogwarts).

~

Joel & Gem: IM SO EXCITED. This is pretty much the Bdubs/Joel team-up I wanted originally but now we get Ethubs too which is even more awesome for me. Very cringe take from me but they are both shounen anime.

Despite what Scott says I really don't think they'll "spontaneously combust". They're both high energy and aggressive but historically loyal to the people who accept them, the sample rate for Gem is not exactly scientifically viable but. Vaguely gestures to all of Secret Life.

I kind of wanna see Gem kill Pearl.

~

Whatever the fuck the Ethubs + Tango team is called: Why.

No like seriously Tango I thought you hated these bitches why are you third wheeling them. He's also surprisingly Bdubspilled like he sides with him on the horse thing and tries to warn Bdubs about Etho lying later. Like, don't get me wrong I really don't think Tango has spite for Bdubs comparable to like. Pearl for Scott for example but he certainly isn't fond of him after he um Fucking Murdered Him and was completely unapologetic.

I'm not really a Tango guy so I can't speak on what's going on inside his head regarding that it's just. Interesting to observe. At least the brief ranchers interaction was cute (and really funny to see in the background of ethubs yelling at eachother).

Anyway Ethubs are insane. It's so funny to me that their horse argument literally lasted an entire in game day.

It's fun for me specifically because I always viewed Secret Life as somewhat of a soft end/reboot point for the series for multiple reasons - the year long hiatus, scars win bookending things really well, pearl and scotts arcs wrapping up (oh how naive) and, of course, the conclusion ethubs reached.

I think I've made a post before about how beautiful of an ending SL is for Ethubs. The distance allowing them to overcome their own personal issues with Bdubs learning he's capable and to care for people who aren't himself or Etho and Etho learning relationships don't have to be minefields, leading into HC10 where Bdubs moves into the rural countryside away from everything and Etho hanging out with his new coworkers at the post office. They can still talk and visit, of course, but the time away from eachother does them wonders and adds a bit of hope for how they will be in the future.

So how should I even fucking feel about Etho pulling a Limited Life and almost killing Bdubs for a prank. Or Etho asking Bdubs what he's done for him. Or Etho in general being a little shit about the horse thing and Bdubs being equally stubborn.

Bdubs even kinda?? Talks like they're a couple who've gone to therapy with the "I should express how I feel and how I feel is.." and the way he catches himself when he's halfway through yelling. Like I'm not insane you guys hear it too right.

Like don't get me wrong I'm very stuck in my ways of insisting Ethubs isn't really toxic, at least not anymore, but I can totally see someone else being horrified by them and I would cheer them on for it. This episode is especially going to be horrible for that person. At least for me it seems like Bdubs' character development is very real i.e. him rejecting Etho's chestplate with the classic "I can take care of myself", a stark contrast to LL/DL Bdubs and he bites back when Etho is weird.

I have hope for Ethubs is what I'm trying to say and it's totallyyyy not because they're my first ship and I'm biased. I need to figure out what's wrong with Etho and why he's doing this. I saw a post that theorized Etho wanted Bdubs to get mad at him and kill him this season which I'm rotating a bit but I'll have to keep watching. Ethubs girls we're in for it we really are. Tango girls I'm um sorry.

~

PICS / the Islanders: My 13th reason why.

Trying to not repeat too much here from whatever happened to me emotionally last night but this is what hell looks like. It's what I expected but like. DAMN. I wasn't expecting it to be. That bad.

Seeing a lot of people say that the team is just. Pearl, The Horrors and Impulse who is just 🧍‍♂️and I don't think that's completely wrong or anything however ☝️I must say that Impulse continues to frighten me and him being here is making me personally shake like a chihuahua. Like I can't really explain his character if you put a gun to my head I just think the guy might have some issues communicating emotions and prefers to hold grudges/be passive aggressive like with the psychological horror that was the impdubs DL POV and I can't imagine him being particularly Good for Pearl. Also he's done several insane things in the past e.g. the Bdubs grudge, laughing at Tango when he tries to kill himself in SL, being excited(??) for gem to kill him in SL, trying to kill Skizz in SL wow wait maybe it's just proximity to gem and scott that fucks this guy up. Idk though I don't trust his ass.

Anyway. Yes like we are all Martyn Inthelittlewooding it up for Pearl in here. I have so many somewhat misogynistic fantasies in my head about her being saved by Gem or Bdubs or Joel or Bigb for that matter. Emotionally that's what I would want. HOWEVER I don't think that would actually be anything that would help Pearl in fact I think she'd just run back to her team because she's loyal like that. So now I kind of just want to see the consequences of her actions. Whittle her down to nothing 💥💥💥💥💥It would break me it genuinely would.

Cleo fucking catching herself and correcting "trauma" to "damage" mid sentence is insane can we kill. can we kill them.

So yeah um I'm excited for this season

[grimaussiewitch]

Life series alliances and enemies I want to see!

(BIG DISCLAIMER: All of the people in the life series are friends and will choose what happens in an improvised series, me wanting two people to be rivals like Renchanting vs The sand hippies doesn’t mean I want them to hate each other in real life, this is a for fun post as season 6 is coming very soon)

Alliances:

Grian and BigB: They have gotten close a few times but never a long series alliance. I really love their friendship and I want to see them team together more than one episode.

Mumbo and Scar: I loved how they were in early episodes of secret life, a long series alliance would be so cool, especially if Mumbo last longer.

Scott and Tango: We’ve only seen bits and pieces of these two but I think it would be interesting. Some people have been rude about these two teaming so there’s a bit of spite in there too. I just think it would be cool to see.

Cleo and Jimmy: Even less interactions. Why these two? I don’t know, I think they would make a great alliance. Probably best work with a third person so I shall suggest Pearl or Bdubs here.

Ren and Scott: I am not over third and last life with these two. I don’t want them as enemies or fighting to the death, I want to see Ren and Scott be allies. Be bros. I want to see theatre kid Ren with Scott okay?

Lizzie and Etho: Sorry Joel, your wife is teaming with your ex-soulmate.

Joel and Pearl: Please please please please please- I just think they would be neat :3

Scott and Joel: While I really want Joel to take Scott’s final life, I would 100% down with these two teaming. What a great alliance it would be to be with the guy you tried to kill multiple times! In other words, I think it would be funny for me. That’s the most important thing.

Any combination of Skizz, Mumbo and Lizzie: Our guys that weren’t in double life, I need these three to interact more okay?

Martyn and Grian: I know someone asked Martyn to make a one side homoerotic relationship with Grian next season but I would be so down for a team up. Yeah yeah they were in Southlands together but I want just them as a duo.

Ren and Martyn: “hey didn’t they already team?” Yes and? I have been waiting for so long for these two to talk again and Ren might not be in this season again. I don’t have any evidence to say he won’t but I’m not getting my hopes up again.

Lizzie and Pearl: We got a taste of these two in secret life and I think they would have a solid alliance. Plus red life with these two? Two wet cats with a taste for blood? Sign me the fuck up.

Enemies:

Pearl and Gem: “uwu wouldn’t it be so cool if they were together and pearl helped gem win?” Fuck no. I want blood. I want them at each other’s throat. I want Pearl to actively take Gem’s final life. You had murder camel, let me see these two fight to the death okay? Fuck an alliance I want murder and death.

Martyn and Tango: Watchful eyes would see that over the seasons Martyn and Tango have a sort of rivalry or at the very least Tango is bullied/teased by Martyn. Rarely have they been on the same page. Therefore, I want them to be official enemies.

Tango and Skizz: I don’t want them to be actual rivals, it just would be nice for Skizz and Tango to branch out from each other as they have teamed in every season besides third and double life. Being rivals is a treat.

Impulse and Skizz: Same as above but more because they are best friends, I would love to see them tease each other lol.

Pearl and BigB: I don’t think this would happen but it would be something new. Especially how Pearl wanted BigB to win limited life when they were the nosey neighbours.

Scott and Joel: Pretty please take Scott’s final life I love the guy but I need Joel to do it please please please-

Ren and Martyn: Yes I want them to be alliances again but enemies? Oh? Oh ho? We had a taste of this with last life’s final four battle royal and Martyn confirming that he was always going to betray Ren. I need to see that.

Bdubs and Etho: Purely for the angst <3

Mumbo and Grian: I love these two so much but proper rivals would go so hard. Bonus if Scar is teamed with one of them lmao.

Impulse and Bdubs: It won’t be brought up but I think the clock grudge lasting all the way to season 6 would be funny as hell.

Bdubs and Joel: Short.

Cleo and literally anyone: She is very scary as an enemy not in a “Cleo would beat your ass” she couldn’t, but in a “they will hurt you with words”

Anyway who do you want as allies or enemies in season 6?

[tasty-arsenic]

Double life,, 2!!!!!!!

I was bored and decided to re-roll double life soulmates and see if i could think of anything fun with these new pairs

so i took the double life cast plus Skizz, Lizzie, Mumbo and Gem because i wanted to include everyone

(i know that Gem was only in one session but we had an odd number and shes a lifer to me)

the pairs generated was

Joel and Lizzie (im not kidding)

Skizz and Mumbo

Pearl and Tango (it rolled Pearl and Scott first but i didnt want any doubles so i rerolled it)

Ren and Grian

Cleo and Etho (omg theyre back together...)

Scar and Bdubs

Jimmy and Scott (flower husbands,,,,)

Impulse and Martyn

Gem and BigB

now theres some absolute gems in this

first things first, the true soulmates: Joel and Lizzie

they were the first thing i rolled and it was so perfect omg,,,,,, obviously they are the power couple, the girlboss malewife. very chaotic duo and possibly a bit dangerous

next up: Skizz and Mumbo

now because those two dont interaact like at all from my knowledge i cant say much for sure, but i feel like the two of them would make a very fun team. with Skizz's impulsiveness and Mumbos redstone abilities i feel they could do some very fun stuff. I dont think theyd get very far but theyre here for a fun time, not a long time

Pearl and Tango

this one is kinda interesting. we have established that Pearl is crazy, we know that, but Tango is too just in a completely different way. Pearl doesnt beat around the bush much, she there and you know it. while Tango often works in the back seat in the middle of some crazy plot like Dare to Flare, Bet your life, or bringing a warden to the surface. combine these two and youd get some fun results.

Ren and Grian

first thing that came to mind: the dramatics. Grian is the known war starter and Ren is known roleplayer, do i need to make it obvious??? they would be SO fun to watch. Just by thinking about im upset that this isnt already a thing, god. I feel their shenanigans would be on par with the Bad Boys.

Cleo and Etho

if limited life taught us anything its that these two = divorce and im so here for that. this feels as if it be Cloe + Martyn Version 2. and considering and Etho on his own is a bit more pathetic then Martyn it would be very pitiful to watch. Cleo would be out girlbossing(as they do) and Etho would be struggling to do much, that or Etho would be also fine on his own but i think itd be better if he were a little pathetic yk

Scar and Bdubs

these two are impulsive idiots and would do nothing but enable each other and im so here for it. they would go on a million different mini mission in a single session. youd get whiplash from watching them. but i feel like this would make them either very dangerous or not threatening at all. who knows

Jimmy and Scott

flower husbands. what more do i have to say? Scott would be the pro player that he is while jimmy does nothing but get himself killed. theyd make an okay team is third life is anything to go by. i feel Scotts skills at the game and Jimmy's lack of would just balence themselves out a bit. who knows, maybe Jimmy would be the second one to die with a soulmate like Scott

Impulse and Martyn

a southlanders duo! these two were hilarious back in last life and they would be again. theyd make a pretty decent team i think. I mean these two were top two in limited life. theyd be a good mix of shenanigans and actual decent plays, a very good balance i think

and last but not least Gem and BigB

now this ones a thinker because Gem was only ever in one session of the game and did not once interact with BigB(if im remembering correctly) but going on assumptions i think these two would make a great team. first of all i think theyd be semi-wholesome. with Gems cottagecore vibes and BigBs general BigB-ness i think theyd be very cute. but also quite dangerous. Gem is a known PvPer (GeminiSlay!) and BigB makes his own good plays fairly often as well. Otherall very cute, but threatening team

this was a fun thinking exercise

and i want to hear your thoughts in the notes!!!!!

[notsogoodangel]

Who's the best player on the Life Series? (UPDATE)

About 9 months ago I decided to make a post about Who is the Best Player in the Life Series, based on survival rather than the number of kills. Since then Real Life and Wild Life have happened, so I decided to update it and share the new results with you guys.

The same disclaimers on the last post apply to this one with some extra disclaimers:

Yes, I'm counting Real Life. I know it's an April Fools video, and I was conflicted about whether I should count it myself, but it would make it more interesting if I considered it. As well as, without it, Gem would only be in two series. As well as, ties were now solved by the order of death, so if someone died first they would be on the bottom of the tie.

ALRIGHT LET'S SEE THE NEW RESULTS!

SPOILERS AHEAD FOR WILD LIFE AHEAD!

PEARL IS STILL THE BEST PLAYER!!! Congrats Queen!!!!

This is the new order (Greens went up, Orange stayed the same, Red went down)

Pearl

Gem

Scott

Martyn

Cleo

Grian

Ren

Bdubs

Impulse

Etho

Scar

Joel

BigB

Tango

Lizzie

Skizz

Jimmy

Mumbo

Here are the changes between the last positions and the new one:

First one, congrats Jimmy! You are not longer last!

Lizzie and Skizz switched place, but they are still pretty low.

Tango hasn't moved AT ALL! I guess he is just THAT consistent.... ly bad.

Martyn, Scott, and Gem also didn't move despite Martyn doing HORRIBLE in Wild Life, but so did Scott in 10th place (that's his worst since 3rd Life), and Gem is Gem.

Grian also stayed the same, but I'm not surprised he did because while he came in last in Real Life, he came in 2nd in Wild Life.

Joel moved DOWN despite just winning, and if you wonder why? Because he was the second one out in Real Life. But how is he different from Grian? Grian was actually 0.02 points from being taken over by Bdubs, and Joel was surpassed by Scar for 0.01 points.

BigB and Impulse went down, while Ren and Bdubs went up.

Etho stayed the same, so he is still a little washed, but better than Joel!

Scar REALLY fell down, going from 5th to 11th, being one the 3rd to die in Real Life (after Joel and Grian) and being 14th in Wild Life, he couldn't recover from his bad performance like Joel and Grian.

Cleo SKYROCKETED from 13th to 5th because she won Real Life and was 4th in Wild Life.

For fun, this is the list if we didn't have Wild Life (I'm not adding the colors to these) :

Gem

Pearl

Scott

Martyn

Scar

Impulse

Cleo

Bdubs

Grian

BigB

Etho

Ren

Joel

Tango

Skizz

Lizzie

Mumbo

Jimmy

As well as the list if we didn't count Real Life:

Pearl

Scott

Gem

Grian

Martyn

Ren

Impulse

Joel

Scar

Bdubs

Cleo

Etho

BigB

Tango

Lizzie

Skizz

Jimmy

Mumbo

Have fun! Leave your thoughts about these in the comments and tags, especially the last 2 lists.