#it was so excited and so happy to exist as it is now and all its gotten is pain and anxiety and bitterness
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🖍 my best friend! he was surprisingly understanding of it and is usually very calm when it happens.
🩹 fuzzy mind, really excited / innocent, lots of flappy hands / motor skills differences, more limited vocabulary
🧡 it varies! it tends to happen more when i'm stressed but sometimes it happens on normal days.
🍬 i didn't know those existed in honesty TwT
💛 2nd!
🧸 younger!
💚 a bit of both! i was very much autistic so i would behave a little funny and "childish" but i was also oddly mature at the time. :)
🧩 i'm not really sure.
💙 kidcore i guess! i like bright colours.
🍭 i lurk for a while... but more recent!
💜 i kick my feet over scooby doo a lot.
🍼 some both! a lot of nostalgia to aid in creating newer memories.
🖤 nopey. :(
🪀 i have, multiple times! all of which unintentional and without warning. felt really bad afterwards TwT
🪁 traditional i thinky!
🎨 i'm not really sure what ones exist yet TwT
🍬 nopey.
🦋 mostly! i get lots of excitable happy feelings so it makes me happy to go into it.
🧚♀️ most of the time for me, it's my brain unintentionally slipping into a younger state as a result of stress. if my brain can't handle it, it'll send me into a state where i can't even process it because i'm too happy and focused on other things instead. sometimes it happens when i'm happy too, and my brain kicks into overdrive.
🧦 everyone is very sweet and welcoming! there's little judgement which i really like and it's all very happy! i don't like the kinky parts though :(
🦇 i have! a lot of stuff happens in my dreams that i just go "well, that's what we're doing now" since there's less judgement. :)
🌸 unsure...
🐈⬛ mostly! there's a lot of boy regressors which is nice to see.
🧃 a dog! maybe a puppy.
🐇 i haven't really delved into anything with a caregiver yet!
🎀 mostly! if it counts, i mainly just play with stuffies a lot. :)
🎮 oh i go IN. i'm locked into those games.
🌈 DRAGON FOR SURE!!
👾 honestly just thinking hard enough gets me into it. it's usually involuntary but i know what tends to trigger it.
💭 build-a-bear trip...
🌙 Agere Ask Game!!! ⭐
🖍 Who is the first person you told/would tell about your headspace?
❤ If you had a fictional caregiver/little who would it be?
🩹 What do you experience when you regress? (i.e fuzzy feelings, motor skill or speech struggle, etc.)
🧡 How often do you regress or try to regress?
🍬 Do you read agere fanfiction and if so, about who?
💛 What school grade (if any) would you be in according to your headspace?
🧸 Are you an older sibling who regresses/caregives or a younger sibling who regresses/caregives?
💚 Were you considered an "old soul" growing up or were you more "childish"?
🧩 What was your first piece of agere gear or what would you want as your first?
💙 What's your regression/caregiving aesthetic? (kidcore, babycore, altcore, etc)
🍭 How long have you been apart of agere tumblr?
💜 What are you obsessed with right now in your headspace? (sanrio, sharks, bluey, etc)
🍼 Do you include your personal nostalgia in your regression/caregiving or are you creating new memories?
🖤 Have you met any other regressors/caregivers in real life?
🪀 Have you ever regressed in front of someone or has someone ever regressed around you?
🪁 Is your headspace affected more through traditional or alternative regression? (bottles & cartoons or horror & thrill)
🎨 What's a piece of agere gear that you really want to have/try?
🍬 Have you ever experienced vent regression?
🦋 Are you comfortable with your regression/headspace?
🧚♀️ What is age regression/caregiving to you?
🧦 What's something you like & don't like about the agere community?
🦇 Have you ever regressed in a dream?
🌸 Who do you headcanon as a regressor or caregiver? (fictional or real)
🐈⬛ Do you think you're represented enough in the agere community? (poc, boys, under 20/over 30 yrs)
🧃Which animal best represents your headspace?
🐇 Has it been or was it hard for you to find a little/caregiver?
🎀 Does your headspace match the gear you use/want? (i.e. regresses to 10 years but loves pacifiers)
🎮 Do you struggle to play pretend or are you super imaginative?
🌈 What mythical creature would you rather be? (Hybrid, Fairy, Dragon, etc)
👾 What's the quickest way to get you in your headspace?
💭 What's one thing you often daydream about doing with your little/caregiver?
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spoil me softly — rafe cameron
synopsisᝰ.ᐟ gf!reader has a hard time accepting gifts from her boyfriend, rafe cameron.
warningᝰ.ᐟ revised with grammarly, rafe being a sweetiepie ???
word countᝰ.ᐟ 917
this was unfamiliar territory for rafe—having a girl he desperately adored who didn’t ask for things? that didn’t exist on kildare. not until he met you. so shy and timid, even when he offered—even when he insisted—you’d shake your head and refuse. it was frustrating, honestly. he loved the way your eyes lit up with excitement when you got a surprise, the way your delicate fingers unwrapped the ribbons on gift boxes, and how you’d pepper his face with kisses before snuggling into him after receiving something you’d wanted. your happiness felt like a reward for him too.
“i can buy it for you,” he murmured, his lips curving into a soft smile as his hands rested lightly on your waist. you’d been staring at a pair of black, clunky mary-jane shoes on your laptop for so long it was as though you might burn a hole through the screen. that laptop, of course, was something rafe had already bought for you, much to your protests. he’d hated the inconvenience of you dragging your old one back and forth whenever you stayed over, so in his mind, the solution had been obvious: your own laptop for his house.
you shook your head, quickly clicking away from the page as his head dipped, nuzzling into the crook of your neck. “no, i was just looking.”
“come on, pretty girl,” he coaxed, his warm breath brushing against your skin. his hands started to roam, gentle but firm, exploring the curves of your body with the kind of reverence that always made your heart flutter. “you’ve gotta let me spoil you a little. what kind of boyfriend would i be if i didn’t?”
the guilt hit you immediately, settling like a stone in your stomach. you knew rafe had money—he’d mentioned buying his own place in kildare, the once-lively family home now a ghostly relic of the past. he’d talked about locking away most of his inheritance for the future, investing it smartly. you knew he could afford things like this without a second thought, but it didn’t stop you from feeling bad about accepting his generosity.
“‘s’okay, rafe,” you said with a small smile, tilting your head just enough to press a kiss to his temple. his sigh was heavy as he reluctantly let go of you, lingering close, his sharp blue eyes watching you with a mix of frustration and fondness. you were so stubborn sometimes, and he didn’t know what he was going to do with you.
“i’d feel bad, anyway,” you added softly, the words slipping out before you could stop them.
his brows furrowed, curiosity sparking in his expression. it was rare for you to vocalize these thoughts, and he wasn’t quite sure what to make of it. feel bad? about what? his hands cupped your warm, blushing cheeks, his thumbs brushing gently over your skin as he studied you. the redness blooming there made him smile despite himself. “baby,” he said, his voice soft and steady, “i could buy you hundreds of those shoes, and it wouldn’t even make a dent. if it makes you happy, that’s all that matters.”
your lips formed the smallest pout, and he couldn’t help but grin. that look of yours—so sweet, so innocent—always worked against him. anytime you wanted something, all it took was a little pout like that, and he was done for.
“it’s your money, rafe,” you replied quietly.
“i know, sweet girl,” he said, his gaze locking with yours. the nervousness you often felt in moments like this melted away under the intensity of his eyes. “but i want you to feel special too. i’ve got plenty, trust me.”
before you could respond, he was already digging into his pocket, that familiar mischievous grin spreading across his face. your heart skipped a beat when he pulled out a small, soft velvet pouch. “besides,” he said, his voice tinged with excitement, “i already bought you something.”
the diamond necklace he revealed shimmered as sunlight caught it, the intricate detail immediately taking your breath away. it was stunning, and you didn’t even want to imagine how much it had cost.
“rafe…” you whispered, your voice filled with a mix of awe and exasperation.
“turn around, pretty,” he instructed, his tone gentle but firm. you obeyed, your back pressing against his chest as he clasped the necklace around your neck. the delicate chain settled perfectly, the small diamond-studded “r” pendant resting just above the curve of your chest. he took a moment to admire how it looked on you, sneaking a quick glance downward that made him bite his lip in approval.
“it’s beautiful,” you breathed, your fingers brushing over the pendant. “i love it, rafe. thank you.”
you knew, deep down, that there was no point in protesting anymore. rafe was going to spoil you no matter how much you tried to fight it. you turned to him, pressing your lips to his in a tender, lingering kiss. his hands found your waist again, pulling you closer, and for a moment, it felt like the two of you had been perfectly crafted for each other, made to fit in ways that satisfied every corner of your hearts. you couldn’t help but wonder how you’d gotten so lucky.
when the kiss broke, he pressed his lips to your forehead, his arms wrapping firmly around you. “now,” he murmured, his voice laced with that same mischievous warmth, “put those shoes back in your cart. i’m buying them for you.”
#bf!rafe#bf!rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#rafe outer banks#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe x you#rafe cameron#rafe fanfiction#rafe smut#rafe imagine#rafe x reader#rafe obx#outerbanks rafe#rafe fic#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe cameron x innocent!reader
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grey passion (nicholas ruffilo one shot)
bc it’s his bday today 😌😌
smut, bondage, swearing, unprotected p in v (wrap before u tap), thats it i think lol, MDNI
nicholas’ was finally free until january ánd it was his birthday today, and you decided to celebrate it extra big because of that. decorations were everywhere in the house, themed with his favorite interests mixed with hearts and all kinds of romantic things. he woke up this morning with the surprise, an excited glimmer in his eyed and giving you hundreds of thank you kisses all over your face just because of the birthday decorations alone.
you wanted it to be very special today, and since you both haven’t seen each other for a while you wanted this year’s birthday to be something he wouldn’t easily forget.
you looked down at your dark red lace body set you were wearing, turning around to see every angle in the mirror in front of you. it fitted your body very well, and you were positive that he would like it a lot. he loved to worship you, especially your body—his hands going to every inch of your soft skin, every outfit you were wearing and what was underneath, as if he needed to take it in so well every time that he would indeed never forget it. he didn’t want to—he wanted to remember everything about you. you two found each other in both your depths in life, you were his anchor, his savior, and he wanted to make sure you knew, kissing the ground underneath your feet.
nicholas meant just as much to you, he could always cheer you up even when you had already decided to push everything and everyone away at the beginning of the day—that was impossible to do when it came to him. he could always make his way in between the walls you set up for everyone else, and you were actually glad he could. he saved you from so much darkness, and you had done the same for you, that he sometimes called you his flower—you grew flowers in places he didn’t even know existed before he knew you.
you were his seed of happiness, making him grow, wanting to make him grow.
you had send nicholas away with some excuse to pick up something up for you. he had looked surprised, almost offended, mocking “aren’t i the birthday boy?” but he went anyways, he could never say no to you, even on his own special day.
and when he saw you, in the dim light of the living room only being lit up by some candles standing on the small coffee table and red LED lights, he dropped the two bags in his hands and immediately took you into his arms to carry you upstairs.
“look at you, looking all nice in this goddamn lace, my own personal, special birthday present,” he murmured, almost groaned, into your neck as he peppered kisses all over your sensitive skin.
“of course. wanted to look real nice for you, especially since we haven’t seen each other for a while,” you giggled back, arms wrapped tightly around his neck, and he just hummed in response, his mind already hazy and running crazy with all the things he wanted to do with you.
normally he always placed you gently onto the bed, even if he took you harshly after, but right now he seemed into a rush. his grey eyes roamed hungrily over the dark red lace body still covering your heated skin, already turning excited as you questioned what he would do with you, and that was already quickly answered when he harshly opened a drawer open from his nightstand and took out red silk.
your eyebrows slightly raised in both surprise and curiosity, then meeting his gaze again, standing more dark and lustful than ever. he was serious about this, and you immediately crawled higher up on the bed, so he could tie you up. you didn’t even question it—you two had never done this before, but you trusted him more than anyone, and this actually quite excited you.
his clothes landed on the floor, unbelting his jeans as his eyes never left yours, standing so lustful and primal that your throat almost tightened with nerves and excitement as you drooled between your thighs.
then, he hovered over you, about to tie up his hair, but you shook your head no. “please leave it down this time,” you almost whispered, and the corner of his mouth slightly twisted up as he mumbled, “alright.”
as expected his hands inspected your lace body, humming with appreciation, before then tearing it off you in one smooth movement, and you gasped slightly before looking at him with raw anticipation. he was indeed so, so serious about this—he had missed you so dearly, fantasized about you so much and how your body felt underneath his, how you always took him so well, how pretty you looked when you were a panting, sweating mess.
“you’re gonna treat me real good for my birthday tonight, flower?” nicholas asked you as he slowly spread your legs, his hands rubbing up and down your thighs, looking back to you after, and you eagerly nodded at him.
“yeah? gonna take me fully and well?” he then asked in a low murmur, looking down at his length as he positioned himself between you, and your breathing quickened with need for him.
“absolutely, baby.”
“good girl,” is what he answered before entering you without any further warning, making you loudly gasp as your head falls back against the headboard of the bed, and a low, loud grunt escapes his throat.
“jesus christ. have missed this and your pretty cunt so much,” he breathes before slowly moving, making the bed shake with each thrust, even more when he speeds up.
“fuck, i have missed you too, so much,” you breathed, overwhelmed by both the pleasure you had missed so much and his much more filthy mouth than usual, his need for you so big and primal.
“oh i can feel that baby, you take me so well, so fucking well.” his movements sped up even more, his closed eyes opening to burn right into yours, leaving you breathless by what you see in his grey—fire, big burning fire and passion for you, passion and determination to take you to the edge, to make you feel just how much those months without you have almost been torture for him.
you were his flower, his entire garden—making his soul bloom like no one else ever could. from this moment, as he looked at you and your entirety of love for him, he knew he never wanted to be parted from you ever again. and you knew, you felt it—and by the way your souls both connected even more than ever this night you were absolutely bound to be his forever.
#bad omens#bad omens cult#bad omens fanfiction#fanfiction#bad omens band#badomenscult#nicholas ruffilo#nick ruffilo#nicholas ruffilo fanfiction#nick ruffilo fanfiction#noahsebastian#joakim jolly karlsson#jolly karrlson#nick folio#bad omens fandom#bad omens fan fiction#bad omens fic#bad omens fanfic#nick bad omens#smut#nicholas ruffilo smut#nick ruffilo smut#bad omens smut#fanfiction smut#one shot fanfic#one shot#nicholas ruffilo one shot#one shot smut#bad omens nicholas#badomens fanfiction
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cast of punch out going out to a museum? :3 I lovelove your headcanons!!! <333 -🍫
You got it, Anon. PO cast at a museum!! And thnx!!! ✨️
Glass Joe 🇫🇷 🥐
- Genuinely appreciating the art, especially the ones that came from France
- Lecturing to his fellow boxers about the art (no one except Kaiser and Hondo are listening)
- Was the last to leave the museum, stayed until closing
- Was his idea to visit a museum (he's no longer allowed to pick day trips for the boxers)
Von Kaiser 🇩🇪 🔩
- Trying to convince the other boxers how fun and interesting the museum is... and is failing
- Trying to stay interested in Joe's lectures
- Wokw up in one of those life-sized historical displays and was unfairly banned from the museum
Disco Kid 🇺🇲 🕺
- Trying to keep the vibes exciting for them all by blasting music
- Music was so loud it toppled over one of the statues
- Security took his travel speaker
- He's now banned from the museum, and spent the least amount of time there (lucky)
King Hippo 🏝 🦛
- Eating all the paintings that include food in them
- Scared a random baby unknowingly by just existing
- Stared at a sculpture of a hippo for the entire time before leaving
Piston Hondo 🇯🇵🍣
- Packed lunches for everyone
- Actually listening to Joe go on about art, and is interested. He even lectures Joe about some of the East Asian arts within the museum
- Traumatized after he caught the head of the statue Disco Kid broke
- Offered to stay after hours to clean up the art Aran vandalized
Bear Hugger 🇨🇦 🐻
- Admiring anything featuring an animal
- Stared at the hippo sculpture for 2 hours before leaving King Hippo alone
- "My favorite part of the trip was the food."
- "Eh.. thanks, Bear..."
Great Tiger 🇮🇳 🐅
- Played a prank where he magics in one of his clones onto multiple paintings
- Made Kaiser faint after one of his clones was caught moving around in one of the pictures
- Got bored and teleported outside the museum for most of the day
Don Flamenco 🇪🇸 🥀
- Was forced to bring Carmen with him
- Looked at all the Spanish artwork with Carmen, but really as he did was take selfies with them
- Plundered the tiny gift shop, but all his souvenirs immediately went to Carmen
- Somehow convinced Carmen not to murder Soda
Aran Ryan 🇮🇪 😈
- Moved Kaiser (while he was napping on a bench) into one of the historical life-sized displays
- Vandalized lots of art... the Mona Lisa is now the Mona Ryan.
- "Hehe *insert statue here* is naked!!"
- His ass is banned
Soda Popinski 🇷🇺 🍾
- Doesn't know what to look at, so he just follow Macho Man everywhere
- Would later buy a miniature keychain version of the ocean picture Macho Man got obsessed with
- Bought a little soda for himself and ends up accidentally spilling it onto Carmen after he got spooked by one of the Tiger clones in the pictures
Bald Bull 🇹🇷 🐂
- Shockingly calm and happy
- Didn't follow Joe, he just liked silently admiring all the art
- Forgot to eat lunch because of how into it he was. Everyone was surprised that Bull wasn't cranky after skipping lunch
Super Macho Man 🇺🇸 🌊
- Placed Kaiser in one of the life-sized historical displays along with Aran... and took pictures
- Doesn't want to admit it, but he got obsessed with this one picture of the ocean
- "Joe shut up, you nerd"
- Actually had fun
Mr Sandman 🟢 💤
- Designated chaperone
- Tried to enjoy himself, but he kept getting hounded by patrons and staff
- "Guys take Kaiser out of that display case..."
(I tried to make this different from @bucketspammer4life 's museum headcannons as best I could xp)
#punch out wii#don flamenco#aran ryan#glass joe#piston hondo#great tiger#disco kid#von kaiser#king hippo#soda popinski#bald bull#super macho man#bear hugger#punch out headcanons#au#headcannons#reqs open#request
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'Green' Justice: A Courtship Mini-Sequel
Notes: I really hope you guys like this introduction to Rouge! Don't worry, there will be more of Amy in the future. I took creative liberties on why and how the other characters begin appearing, taking inspiration from Sonic X's reasoning in the show.
Summary: More and more Mobians are showing up on earth, and Sonic is super excited about it!.. Until a certain bat shows up and gets a little too close to Shadow for his liking.
Courtship Masterpost!
Link to my AO3!
Start:
Sonic has officially decided. He hates bats.
Yup. What’s good about bats?? They’re scary, they carry diseases, they can fly, see in the dark–
Okay. Bats are kinda cool.
Oo! And Batman!!
Anyway. So maybe he doesn’t hate all bats.
But he doesn’t like this one.
See. Turns out that when he and Shadow use Chaos Control to go Super?? It creates connections between worlds. Kinda like the warp rings but instant. So after the ARK battle, more and more “aliens” like Sonic, Knuckles and Tails started showing up from other worlds. This has been mostly kept under wraps by GUN since some humans feel threatened by Sonic and those like him’s very existence, thinking they’re too powerful and only seem to bring trouble wherever they appear.
Which is kinda fair.
But they literally saved the world from being crashed into by a giant space station like– a year ago?? So what’s the big deal??
Anyway. Sonic’s entire family pretty much is partnered with GUN at this point because of this. They’re started a whole new program called the ‘Mobian Project’: Mobian being the new term coined for their kind. Mobo-Sapiens being the scientific term. Knuckles came up with ‘Mobian’. Said it sounded like the words ‘mammal’ and ‘alien’ had a baby, so it made sense.
It all essentially meant that if a new Mobian showed up on GUN’s radar, Sonic and Team were dispatched to welcome them and help them assimilate to earth’s culture safely. Shadow came along if the Mobian had special abilities like Sonic’s speed or Tails’ flight, taking record of them to report back to GUN. Surprisingly, though, most Mobians were pretty basic. Just your regular anthropomorphic animal beings.
The only one who had any sort of new abilities so far was a pink hedgehog Sonic had found named Amy. She was like. Crazy strong. And she could summon this giant and terrifying hammer out of thin air! And she was like. A witch or something, Sonic was pretty sure. She did palm readings and tarot card stuff, and she was rarely wrong– if ever.
He met her when Eggman used the quill Sonic gave him in exchange of working with him to fight Shadow awhile back to create a robotic version of him called Metal Sonic. Eggman had managed to pick up her arrival on earth on his radar before GUN had, and sent Metal Sonic to kidnap her. Long story short, Sonic saved her, and she was practically a part of the family now! She lived with Randall and Rachel, pretty much an honorary Handel now. And JoJo got a sister!
Sonic liked her. And she liked him. Her and Maddie really hit it off, too. And Shadow. He told Sonic once she reminded him a lot of Maria..
Anyway, Sonic was pretty happy about this little project they had going with GUN. And with Maddie, Tom and Shadow all keeping a close eye on the organization to make sure they don’t do anything sketchy, he had zero problems working with them. Especially if it meant helping more lost Mobians like him find their home..
He hadn’t met a single one he hadn’t liked yet, even though they were few and far between..
That is.. Until the stupid bat came along.
He doesn’t even know where she came from! Apparently it’s classified, but Shadow told him GUN caught her infiltrating their facility. She nearly got away with a chaos emerald! And evidently that’s all it takes to get on GUN’s good side, weirdly enough, because next thing Sonic knew, she was working for ‘em.
And partnered, specifically, with Shadow.
Shadow hadn’t seemed too mad about it, which just irritated Sonic more. Shadow always said he preferred to work alone, so what made this girl so special??
“She’s good at incognito field work, which is good because that’s my weak point,” Shadow explained, “And she can fight. Really well. I wasn’t sure about her at first, but it doesn’t look like I’ll have to worry about her holding me back.”
“I’d really like to meet her,” Sonic had so foolishly beamed back, excited about having yet another of their kind on earth, “She sounds super cool!”
She, in fact, sucked.
He met her nearly a week later when he was at GUN waiting on Shadow. He had been away a few days, but Sonic wanted to surprise him by being there to greet him when he came back. It was while he was waiting that he saw her for the first time.
And she was… blessed. Blessed is a good word for it. One that Aunt Rachel often uses to describe ladies with large- ahem, how does he put this like a gentleman?… Knockers.
She was all curve and confidence, looking absolutely stunning even after a long mission with full makeup and a few cool piercings on her left ear. Her GUN suit was very sexist in Sonic’s opinion– who authorized such a revealing and tight uniform for a field agent??? It wasn’t practical at all.
But none of that is what really got his attention.
What got his attention was the way Shadow was smiling while she talked to him. They were walking out of the building, Shadow’s arms crossed and an amused look on his face.
And her gloved hands— why do her gloves go all the way up her arms?? Who does she think she is?? The Queen???— are all over him as she walks beside him. One arm is interlinked with his own, the other hand moving to rest on his bicep as she talks about something that’s obviously just soooo funny.
Her pink lipstick makes every word she’s saying seem vibrant, but Sonic is sure she’s surely not that interesting.
He should go save Shadow from such a boring conversation. Yup.
He’s gonna do it.
He’s gonna go over there and stop her from harassing Shadow any further.
Even if he is smiling… and seems perfectly comfortable with her arm around his.. and hasn’t even noticed Sonic is there like he usually does the second he catches a whiff of his scent..
Sonic’s tail sags behind him, his ears folding back. He suddenly feels silly. Stupid. Foolish. Embarrassed.
He takes a few steps back, the need to run suddenly becoming overwhelming and suffocating. In the process of turning to leave, he finds himself tripping right over a parking bumper and falling with a little gasp. His eyes shut for the impact—
Except it doesn’t come. Instead, black arms cradle his body right above the concrete. Emerald eyes open and look up to see Shadow staring down at him with knitted up brows.
“Are you alright??”
Sonic hates how concerned he sounds. How his chest thumps from his heart pounding inside it.
“Uh-huh,” the blue hedgehog nods with an awestruck look in his eyes. Shadow looks right back at him, taking a moment to examine him as if to make sure Sonic truly is just fine before he offers a small huff and amused curve of his lips.
“What are you doing here??”
“Waiting for you,” he answers honestly as Shadow helps him to stand back up properly, Sonic offering a bashful smile at how Shadow’s hands linger on Sonic’s arms even once he’s standing.
“You didn’t have to do that, I was coming to see you..,” he rubs his hands down Sonic’s arms, fingers brushing along the backs of Sonic’s hands before he lets him go. Sonic shivers.
“I know— I just wanted to be here to welcome you back,” Sonic explains with a little blush on his muzzle.
Then his eyes catch movement behind Shadow.
The bat.
She’s standing there smirking with a hand on her hip. Watching them.
Shadow follows Sonic’s gaze to the bat, clearing his throat and quickly stepping aside to introduce them properly, “Oh, Rouge. This is—“
“Sonic the Hedgehog,” she finishes knowingly, reaching her hand out to shake Sonic’s, “I’ve heard a lot about you.”
“Aw yeah?” Sonic forces a smile and shakes her hand despite his twisting stomach at her acknowledgment, “All good things, I hope.”
“Mostly,” she winks, “I’m Rouge.”
“Yeah, I’ve heard about you too! Agent Rachel is my aunt. She talks about you sometimes.”
“Oh?” Rouge’s ears perk at this, but then a playful pout is placed on her rosy lips as she directs her attention back to Shadow, “You don’t talk about me?”
And Shadow, the absolute idiot, nods immediately and dumbly confirms, “I’ve told Sonic of our partnership.”
“I’m flattered,” the bat grins, her smile full of mischief and coquet. Sonic’s stomach twists more.
“Did you trip??” Shadow’s gaze returns to Sonic, seemingly dismissive of the previous conversation and still worried over the fact he just prevented Sonic from cracking his head on the concrete.
“Oh, um— yeah, I was just— I forgot I had promised mom I’d pick up another bag of Ozzy’s dogfood. He’s out, so… I was gonna go.. get that..”
Shadow’s frown looks uneven, eyes observing Sonic in a suspicious sort of way, “I could go with you??”
“No, no! That’s fine. I didn’t mean to interrupt you guys’ uh-..,” he awkwardly gestures both his hands to Shadow and Rouge before clearing his throat and, “cool-spy-conversation.”
“We were just debriefing and saying our goodbyes,” Shadow replies simply, looking at Rouge again, “I’m sure Rouge has her own life to get back to.”
“Hardly,” she shrugs nonchalantly, “Haven’t had the time to really make any friends here yet. Or get to know the town..”
And Sonic, the poor, unfortunate dummy he is, absolutely word vomits with zero thought behind it, “You should come bowling with me and my family tonight!”
He mentally facepalms.
Rouge blinks at his sudden loud and aggressively inviting voice, Shadow staring at Sonic now with a confused sort of look.
Sonic flounders a moment before offering a wide grin and awkward chuckle, “I just mean— we’re going bowling tonight. There are tournaments coming up, and my big brother is on a bowling team, so we’ve been going to practice a lot.. You could come?? Since you don’t.. have any friends here yet..”
Shadow’s brows furrow a bit at this. Sonic may be trying his hardest to seem cool and friendly, but Shadow knows better. Knows him.
Something’s up.
“That’s mighty nice of you, Blue,” Rouge smiles, Sonic’s nerves grating at the unauthorized nickname, “But I wouldn’t want to impose.”
“You wouldn’t be imposing at all! In fact, with you and Shadow there, it would even out the teams! Whuddo’ya say??”
Shadow looks at Rouge, Rouge looking back at him before shrugging with a smirk, “I guess I could use some fun.”
“Great!” Sonic beams, sounding way too enthusiastic about her agreeing to come. Very forced. “We’ll be expecting ya! Anyway, I’d love to stay and chat some more, but I gotta run. Y’know how dogs get when they’re hungry!” Sonic laughs so damn awkwardly, his teeth feel weird in his mouth. “See ya!”
Shadow opens his mouth to tell him to wait, but he’s already gone. Only thing left of him is the small patch of dust he kicked up in his leave.
Rouge snorts behind him, “Sheesh. I know you said he was a ball of energy, but I didn’t expect him to be so skittish.”
“He’s not normally like that,” Shadow mutters, brows furrowed and eyes still looking in the direction Sonic disappeared off to.
“Well I’m not hatin’. He’s your man. Who am I to judge?”
Shadow just sighs, crossing his arms and his mind racing with possible explanations of Sonic’s odd behavior.
•••
“And then I invited her to come bowling with us!!” Sonic horrifically concludes, groaning as he collapses onto the couch face-first dramatically.
“Nnmf-mm-mm-mmf-mm.”
Maddie blinks amusededgy but sympathetically at the sight of her poor, destressed middle child with his mouth buried in the cushions, “…Didn’t catch that, sweetie.”
Sonic lifts his head just enough to clearly pout, “I said I need to get longer gloves,” his face splats right back into the cushion.
“Oh Sonic,” Maddie moves to sit on the couch, rolling her boy so that his head is resting in her lap rather than buried in the couch, “There’s nothing wrong with your gloves.”
“They’re not cool enough. They’re basic,” he grumbles with a little furrow of his brows at his hands, as if the white gloves he’s currently sporting have personally offended him.
“Not cool enough??” Maddie scoffs, “Oh honey- green is not a good color on you.”
“I’m blue, Mom. Blue. Have you seriously thought I was green this whole time??”
“No—“ Maddie sighs and rolls her eyes hopelessly, her hand resting in Sonic’s quills to soothingly pet through them, “It’s an expression. Someone who is metaphorically green means they’re green with envy. Jealous.”
Sonic gasps dramatically, “I am not jealous!”
“You sure sound jealous,” she points out with a quirk of her brow, “Not to mention- where has that classic Sonic confidence gone?? I’ve never heard you sound so insecure and down on yourself!”
“I’m not insecure,” Sonic defends with a huff, crossing his arms defiantly as he pouts up at his mother from his spot in her lap, “I’m just-… needing some changes. Upgrades! I’m finding myself.”
“You already know yourself,” Maddie reminds him with a little poke to the middle of his forehead, “And Shadow knows you too. And he likes you. Not some batty version of you.”
A sigh escapes Sonic’s nose at this, averting his eyes with a grumbled “I know”. Why’d she always have to be right??
He’s quiet a moment. His ears folding back and a vulnerable look in his eyes as he looks back to his mom, “But what if he likes her more..?”
“Well..,” Maddie sighs and then shrugs, “then it’ll be okay. You can’t fault him for how he feels or her for being the one to make him feel that way.. you care about Shadow, right??”
Sonic nods slowly, “He’s my best friend..”
Maddie smiles all soft and empathetic, “Then you have to be prepared to be okay with whatever makes him happy..”
Sonic frowns at this, looking down at his gloved hands with a knit in his brow as he ponders this.
Is he ready to step aside if it means Shadow will be happier without him?? Is he ready to lose the guy he’s spent so much time with, so many conversations with, so many adventures with.. if it means Shadow will be better off?..
Yes. He is. It’ll kill him, he thinks. But he could do it for Shadow.
“But just to be 100% clear??” Maddie adds with a hand tilting Sonic’s head back up to look at her, “I seriously doubt that’s gonna be the case, kiddo.”
Sonic offers a tired sort of smile at this, “Thanks, mom..”
Maddie hums and leans down to place a kiss to his forehead, “Anytime, sweetheart.”
It’s about that moment Knuckles strolls in to grab some snacks from the kitchen and finds them like this, blinking at them a few times before immediately having a determined glare overcome his face, “Is it time to enact my duties as eldest of the sons of the Wachowski tribe and bring harm to the Utmost Being of Life??”
“Not yet, Knucks,” Sonic sighs with an eyeroll.
“Mm. I shall be at the ready,” and with that, he goes back to gathering his grapes.
•••
The family arrives at the bowling alley promptly as always, very good at always being on time despite their constant chaos. Wade is already there with a lane booked and warming up, Knuckles immediately going to greet his bowling partner merrily.
Sonic feels like a pile of nerves, standing in line with his folks as they wait to get their bowling shoes. His eyes are darting around. No sign of Shadow or Rouge yet, but if he knows Shadow, he’ll be here any second—
“Boo.”
Sonic nearly jumps out of his quills, spinning around with wide eyes and a yelp to find Shadow standing there snickering.
Sonic’s glares at him, asserting a playful shove to his chest as he scolds, “Personal space, man! That’s a good way to get yourself knocked out!”
“As if you could ever,” Shadow rolls his eyes, still looking amused at his successful scare. Then he’s pausing to eye Sonic up and down with a small smile, “You’re wearing my jacket..”
Sonic blinks and looks down at himself with a light blush, “Oh! Yeah, it-.. it said it would be a bit chilly tonight, so I figured—“
“It’s 85 degrees outside,” Shadow smirks knowingly.
“I meant in the bowling alley!” Sonic lies with his blush deepening as he looks behind Shadow and shifts the subject, trying not to sound too hopeful, “Where’s Rouge?? She not come??”
“I imagine she’s on her way,” Shadow shrugs with a quirk of his brow at Sonic.
“Oh- you didn’t come with her??”
Shadow blinks, “..Why would I do that??”
“I just thought-.. nevermind,” Sonic shakes his head dismissively, turning to the alley worker now that he’s at the front of the line and asking for his shoe size. Shadow brings his own shoes because he refuses to put his feet where other people’s feet have been.
Which. Fair.
They make their way to where the others are waiting, already putting their shoes on at lane 13. Tails and Tom are making silly faces with the alley screen so that the tvs will play the silly bobble head skits between each turn.
Maddie is helping Knuckles tie his shoes. Again.
Sonic swears having giant mittens instead of gloves cannot be that great.
Sonic can feel Shadow’s eyes on him as they walk, choosing to ignore it and do his best to keep his casual smile on his face.
“..Are you alright??” Shadow eventually asks, grabbing Sonic’s arm just before they joined the others as to have a more private conversation, “Did something happen when I was gone??”
“Huh?? No! No,” Sonic chuckles with a shake of his head, “Well— not outside Knuckles traumatizing squirrels in the backyard by trapping them and having them compete with Ozzy for the title of ‘Wachowski Tribe Pet’, again. Ya’know, I still don’t think he understands what a pet is—“
“Sonic,” Shadow says firmly, making Sonic’s smile disappear, “…I’m serious.”
“Nothing’s wrong, Shads,” the blue blur reassures with a soft look, “Everything is totally chill.”
“You’ve just been acting strange since I got back, and—“
“Hey boys!”
Sonic and Shadow’s eyes each turn to see Rouge approaching, now dressed in a simple hot pink v-neck and black leggings with matching pink heels.
Who wears heels to a bowling alley???
Her super cool piercings shimmer in the disco lights..
Sonic should get super cool piercings.
No…
No, don’t be green, Sonic.
She approaches with a friendly wave and smile, her hand resting on her hip, “So this is a bowling alley, huh?? Pretty nifty.”
Right. She probably doesn’t even know what bowling is. Makes sense.
“Hello, Rouge,” Shadow politely greets.
“Hey! You made it!” Sonic grins, smile spread far too wide.
“A lady never bails on an invitation,” she smirks, her eyes shifting to Sonic’s attire, “Cool jacket.”
“Oh, uh— thanks, it’s actually—“
“So this is the infamous Wachowski family, huh??” Rouge interrupts before Sonic has the chance to get it out that it’s Shadow’s jacket that he gave him, the bat looking behind them at their group preparing for their match,
“Uhh infamous??” Sonic’s head tilts with a quirk of his brow.
“Everyone knows you guys. Especially at GUN. You all are who started all this, after all,” she explains.
“Oh..,” Sonic says a bit sheepishly, “Yeah, well. We’re just a normal family.”
They look over at the Wachowski’s and their two other Mobian sons preparing for the bowling match, Sonic having a fond little smile as he watches Maddie help Tails stretch and Knuckles and Tom search for the appropriate ball sizes for them all.
“Yeah.. normal,” Rouge smirks with a quirk of her brow, her eyes lingering on the echidna..
“Come on! I’ll introduce you,” Sonic offers with a nod of his head towards the group, the three joining them now at their lane.
Shadow places the duffle bag with his personal bowling ball and shoes down on the bench next to where Tom sits, beginning to unpack his things as Sonic stands with Rouge before them all,
“Hey guys! This is Rouge. She works at GUN too.”
“Rouge!” Maddie immediately grins, moving to shake her hand, “I’ve heard so much about you from my sister.”
“Handel, right??” Rouge smirks, shaking Maddie’s hand, “She’s a fun gal to work with.”
“Try growing up with her,” Maddie mutters back sarcastically before politely adding, “I’m Maddie.”
“Pleasure to meet you, Maddie.”
Tails peeks out from behind Maddie’s legs before stepping out and holding his own hand out now, “Hi! I’m Tails.”
“Aw yeah, the boy genius!” the bat gives an impressed little smile, “I’ve heard you give our technologies division a run for their money.”
“Heh,” Tails removes his hand from hers and humbly rubs the back of his neck, “I just tinker a bit.”
“You’re too modest,” she winks, Tails blushing a bit and quickly scurrying away all shy.
Tom is sitting next to Shadow— who is now putting his shoes on. He offers Rouge a little wave and smile from his seat, “Tom.”
“Pleasure to meet you, Tom,” she nods, “Donut Lord, if I’m correct?”
Tom chuckles at that, “Sonic tell you about that??”
“Shadow, actually.”
Tom quirks a brow at Shadow to which Shadow merely shrugs in response, continuing with perfectly lacing and tying his shoes.
Knuckles approaches now, having been conversing with Wade through most of this. He eyes her suspiciously, Rouge seeming to share whatever curious vibe he’s giving if the way she eyes him up and down is anything to go off of.
“And you’re the echidna,” she observes aloud, smirking slow at the older brother.
“I am. The last,” he says honest and proud, “And you are??”
“Rouge,” she answers, holding her hand out for him to shake—
Uh oh.
Sonic should stop her.
Warn her.
Instead, he just watches with a knowing smile.
Knuckles reaches a hand out to take hers, “I am Knuckles of the Wachowski clan—“
“HEY!” she’s immediately jerking her hand away, trying to shake the pain out of it and causing everyone’s eyes to snap to the two at the sound of her yelp.
Knuckles just stands there unphased. As if this is just how every introduction on earth is meant to go.
Sonic honestly doesn’t know if he knows any different.
“What’s the big idea?!” she glowers at him, Knuckles seeming a bit thrown off by her assertiveness, “You nearly broke my hand!”
“I was simply offering a courteous earth handshake. It is custom to this world to squeeze the hand of another when meeting them,” he explains as if he’s making perfect sense, and she’s the crazy one.
“Not enough to turn my hand into mush, you Knucklehead!”
Knuckles’ cheeks puff angrily at this, “Why does everyone call me that?? That is not my name! I clearly stated it was Knuckles—“
“It’s called an insult, genius,” she huffs, still clutching her throbbing hand.
“Insult??? You dare to insult me?! I demand a duel to the—“
“Woahwoahwoah—.” Maddie quickly steps between the two before things can get too out of hand, “no duels. No battles, no death arenas, no.”
Knuckles is still glaring at Rouge when he huffs out a, “Fine. We shall settle this with a game of bowling.”
“How am I suppose to bowl if my hand is broke??”
“That is not my problem. It’s not my fault you are fragile.”
“FRAGILE—?!”
“Okay! Why don’t we all simmer down,” Maddie tries again, gently ushering Knuckles away to create more space between them. He does the thing where he points two fingers at his own eyes and then points them at Rouge as he turns to return to Wade. Sonic taught him that.
Sonic can’t help but bite back a little snicker as he watches Rouge turn away with a huff, still clutching her hand.
His amusement immediately dissipates when he finds Shadow at him with a disapproving frown.
Sonic clears his throat and looks away, pretending not to notice.
Shadow stands with his bowling shoes now on and laced up, moving to Rouge to place a hand on her back and gently usher her away, “Come on. Let’s get you some ice for that..”
Sonic watches them with a frown, his ears bending back and a pout working its way onto his lips.
Well.
That backfired.
•••
They split into teams. Knuckles and Wade competing against one another for tournament practice’s sake, picking between the Wachowski’s and Shadow and Rouge.
Wade picks Rouge right of the bat (pun intended). Sonic is fairly certain this is because Knuckles demanded he have her on his team since Rouge has never played a game of bowling in her life.
“I’m Wade, by the way,” the deputy introduces as she approaches his side of the lane, holding out his hand to shake hers only to immediately put it back down when he only receives a glare from her in response.
Too soon.
Knuckles picks Shadow, the most precise bowler of the amateurs.
Wade picks Tom.
Knuckles picks Maddie for “equality’s sake”.
Wade picks Sonic, meaning he’s on Rouge’s team. Yay.
And it ends with Knuckles picking poor Tails who doesn’t seem to yet have the strength to get the ball to go down the middle quick enough to do any real damage to the pins, resulting in usually a 4 or 5 on his first bowl.
Taking lane 14 next to 13, Team Wade starts the match.
Wade is their first bowler, going through his typical routine before rolling the ball down the alley and receiving an easy strike. The team cheering, though not surprised by his skill.
Knuckles steps up then, amethyst eyes locked in a glare with Rouge as he stands right in front of the lane and chunks the ball. He never looks. The pins nearly exploding from the impact of the strike. Rouge huffs. His eyes narrow further.
He steps away to allow Rouge to go.
Stepping up to pick up her ball, Sonic notices her heels are still on.
“Oh, uh- Rouge?” she turns to face him, “As much as I’m lovin’ your bowling chic, you can’t step out there with those on. They get mad if you damage their floor, trust me—“
“I won’t touch the floor, no worries,” she winks, Sonic frowning in a confused way as he watches her turn back around to bowl.
Her wings spread before she steps out on the slick wood, flapping just enough to allow her to hover as she rears the ball back and then tosses it down the alley.
And she’s strong because that ball flies!
It barely even touches the ground before hitting the pins, knocking them all down from the sheer impact of her bowl. She smirks at this, turning to meet Knuckles’ eyes with a sassy little “hmph” before she sashays back to her seat.
Knuckles is fuming. Sonic would honestly love her for this is the circumstances were different.
Instead, he finds himself feeling ill at the impressed look on Shadow’s face.
The game goes on like this. Wade, Knuckles Rouge and Shadow getting a strike every time, Tom and Maddie getting a few in here and there and Sonic and Tails getting mostly spares or high numbers. Sonic would much prefer to curl up in a ball and spinach down a strike, but the manager said he couldn’t do that anymore since his quills were scratching up the floors..
The game is close, and typically Sonic would be playfully smack-talking the opposing team, but he’s strangely silent. Emerald eyes always watching the bat, observing her movements and attitude and form..
How she always gets a stupid strike.
And while he obsessed over her, ruby eyes watch him. Concerned and curious by his uncharacteristically quiet nature.
Sonic stands in the back leaning forward against the wall the bowling balls are nestled in, watching the game but not really watching the game. His mind is elsewhere. That much is obvious to Shadow. That along with the fact he isn’t sitting by Shadow and chatting him up after Shadow has been gone away on a mission is.. odd. He’s barely spoken to him all night.
Approaching Sonic quietly as Tails takes his turning bowling, Shadow leans next to Sonic and keeps his eyes on the fox bowling as well.
“You’re sweating,” Shadow eventually says from Sonic’s side.
“Huh?? I’m not sweating,” Sonic snorts with a roll of his eyes, a small shake of his head.
“You are,” Shadow mutters, “You should take the jacket off. Your cheeks have been flushed most the night. You’re likely overheated.”
“My cheeks are not flushed,” Sonic frowns defiantly.
“They are,” Shadow pushes, now looking at Sonic and frowning at his defensive tone, “What’s got you so uptight??? Why Don’t you just take the jacket off and come sit with me for a bit—“
“Why do you want me to take your jacket off so bad??” Sonic argues with a little glare at Shadow, making the hybrid blink in surprise at the sudden hostility, “I can keep it on if I want.”
Shadow pauses and then frowns, his own patience wearing thin. He doesn’t deserve this sort of snippiness, he hasn’t done anything. “Hey. I’m just worried about you. There’s nothing wrong with me worrying, especially when you’ve been acting like a fool since I saw you at GUN earlier.”
Sonic huffs at this, rolling his eyes and looking away with an angry little frown and annoyed shake of his head. His cheeks are flushed darker again.
“You’re the one that’s been acting different.”
“Me???” Shadow scoffs with wide eyes, “Oh please do inform me on how I’ve been different.”
“You’ve been with her,” Sonic’s eyes dart daggers at the bat who is giggling to herself as she watches Knuckles take his next bowl.
Shadow follows his eyes to Rouge and blinks in confusion before returning them to Sonic, “Rouge??”
Rouge’s ears twitch at hearing her name.
Sonic looks back to Shadow now, eyes growing glossy and face heated with growing shame and embarrassment for his behavior, but it’s like he just can’t stop himself—
“Yes, Rouge.”
“What about her??? I can’t help that I have to work, Sonic—“
“I saw you two,” the blue blur hisses out, face dangerously close to Shadow’s now in a daring and angry sort of way, “At GUN. I saw how yall were laughing together and holding arms and being all couple-y.”
Shadow is so lost at Sonic’s words right now, having been oblivious but now slowly beginning to snap pieces together, “‘Couple-y’???”
“You know what—“ Sonic now begins aggressively stripping the jacket off his arms, fumbling a bit at his wrists as they get caught on his gloves but eventually getting it off with a huff and shoving it at Shadow, “Take your stupid jacket since you don’t want me wearing it so bad.”
Shadow’s hands go up rather than taking the jacket being held out to him, looking hurt by Sonic’s sudden rejection of his gift, his scent, “What?? No! That’s yours—“
“Hey, boys, heard my name—“ Rouge is there, now. Looking cool as always but there’s a bit of awkwardness in her stance.
“Fine!” Sonic huffs, ignoring her words and moving to instead shove the jacket at her. Tossing it this time so that it hits her rather than waiting for it to be taken, “She can have it!”
Then he’s storming out, turning and stomping out of the bowling alley and leaving Shadow and Rouge both staring wondering what the hell just happened.
“Hey!” Wade calls with a frown, “It’s almost Sonic’s turn! We only have three more rounds!”
“Ha! Dishonor! He left your team before inevitable defeat because you suck!” Knuckles boldly mocks with a booming laugh, oblivious to the drama unfolding.
“We do not suck, we’re winning by six!” Wade argues.
The two continue their competitive bickering as Rouge looks down at the jacket with a frown and then at Shadow who is staring off in the direction Sonic had gone looking absolutely distressed.
The pieces fall pretty quick.
”I need to go talk to him,” Shadow says determinedly, worry laced in his voice. But as soon as he makes a step, Rouge is reaching out to stop him.
“No..,” Shadow turns and looks at her with knitted brows, “Let me..”
Shadow isn’t sure for a moment. She is what has made Sonic so upset, after all.. but after Rouge gives him a reassuring smile, he gives with a nod, watching as the bat walks off in the direction Sonic left with jacket still in hand.
Maddie and Tom exchange worried looks before Maddie stands up from her seat and moves to comfort Shadow, having a little more insight on Sonic’s rash behavior than he seems to.
“Hey, sweetie..,” she says softly as she approaches him, her heart aching at this sweet boy’s almost scared eyes looking down at his hands as if they had done something wrong..
She’s grown very fond of Shadow over the past near-year. He and Sonic are a perfect match, even if they’re not official yet, and they balance each other out so nicely.. Almost as if they were made for one another, Maddie has often thought.
She’s learned Shadow has a deeply sensitive heart, one that’s quite larger than most people’s. He feels things so much deeper than others, with so much more intensity and devotion. He unapologetically tries. Harder than she’s seen anyone else ever do in her lifetime..
He’s simply stunted on how to properly project these emotions.. he struggles with getting those overwhelming feelings out properly, with sharing them in a way others can comprehend and understand. But he’s grown. Sonic has helped him with that..
Sadly, Sonic himself struggles with big emotions, too, now and then.. and he struggles with not letting them out in a whole new way. He simply bundles them up and suppresses them inside rather than messily letting them out like Shadow. Let’s them all build until he inevitably explodes. Like he just did..
“What did I do??” Shadow frowns, eyes slowly lifting to the woman who has now become a mother figure to him as well in many ways, “How do I fix it??”
He looks terrified.. like he’s losing Sonic.
He can’t lose anyone else. He can’t lose Sonic.
“Oh honey..,” Maddie sighs sympathetically, crouching down to his height to wrap her arms tight around him and hug him to her, “You didn’t do anything..”
“He’s so upset..,” Shadow mutters, immediately leaning into her hug but wrapping his own arms around himself.
“This is a Sonic problem,” Maddie reassures, “Not something you did. He is dealing with something he hasn’t really dealt with before, and we know how he can be with changes..”
Sonic hates change, especially when it’s something he’s unfamiliar with or can’t predict the outcome of. Her mind immediately goes back to how betrayed he had been when Tom had initially planned to move away from Green Hills. The decision to stay was certainly the right one, but it was also a sneak peek of how Sonic finds new and sudden things a bit overwhelming.
He’s matured over the years, of course. But he’s still a kid. And he’s still processing all sorts of new emotions– especially since Shadow came into the picture.
“But what changes have even occurred??” Shadow questions, tilting his head back to look at Maddie properly, his ears twitching like they want to fold back but refuse.
“Well..,” she sighs, trying to find the right words without making anyone any sort of bad guy or victim in this situation. It’s all just a lack of communication, not so much a legitimate conflict. “Up until a few weeks ago, Sonic had you all to himself..,” she explains softly, hand lifting to gently brush down Shadow’s upsettingly raised quills. Mellow him out some from his distressed state. This is a hedgehog thing, she’s noticed. Both Shadow and Sonic’s quills seem to raise slightly and get pokier when upset. Like a cat raising its fur.
“Now he’s having to share you with someone he doesn’t really know well,” she continues, watching as Shadow’s eyes look down in thought as he processes her words, “Someone he obviously thinks is cool enough to compete with his own charisma..” “Rouge,” Shadow states quietly, eyes lifting in realization to Maddie, “He’s envious of her..?” “Moreso jealous than envy,” Maddie winks with a small smile, “He doesn’t want to be her necessarily, but I think he might feel threatened by her new place in your life..” “But Sonic can’t be replaced in my life,” Shadow assures with a knit in his brow, trying to understand why the hedgehog might be so upset by this. It seemed silly to him. Sonic should know Shadow would never replace him..
“Maybe he doesn’t realize that,” she says gently, “He’s a pretty straight forward guy, Shadow.. A lot goes over his head if it’s not put out in the open. Maybe you two should talk a bit more firmly on where he stands with you and what exactly you two mean to each other..” Shadow ponders her words a moment, looking at her before nodding slowly, “We communicate poorly when it comes to emotions.” “Your words, not mine,” she giggles with a little shrug, “..you’re not at fault here, though, okay?? I need you to understand there’s nothing wrong with you having friends outside of Sonic. And he knows that, too. He’s just thinking a little too into it right now, and a little more insecure than he likes people to believe. He’ll snap out of it eventually, and just be happy you’re branching out some. This is a big step for you: making a friend on your own. And I, for one, am proud of you.” Shadow’s brows knit tight at this before a relieved sort of smile forms on his lips, “Thank you, Mrs. Wachowski..”
“Don’t let this discourage you from making more friends in the future,” she gently rubs a hand over his ear before cupping his muzzle softly, “You did nothing wrong, and Sonic will be okay.” Shadow nods against her palm before glancing towards the door, “I should go talk to him, shouldn’t I?” “Absolutely,” she smiles with a wink, standing once again just for him to look back to her with a grateful nod before walking towards the exit.
Knuckles watches this all unfold, a little scowl on his face and mind venturing away from the bowling match. Instead now focused on his little brother that is obviously very upset because of the dumb bat.
The group decides to pause the game and grab some snacks while waiting for things to simmer some with Sonic, Shadow and Rouge, Knuckles taking this opportunity to go and find the bat for himself and show no mercy for inflicting pain on the Wachowski tribe.
Outside, Sonic is pacing back and forth on the roof, hoping he wouldn’t be followed or found up there. He’s muttering scolds to himself, fingers running through his quills irritably and eyes full of guilt and regret at how he just acted.
“Stupid, why’d you have to be so stupid,” he hisses to himself, closing his eyes in annoyance as he drops his arms to his sides with a huff, “His face.. He looked so hurt..,” he frowns and opens his eyes to spot a rock on the floor, scowling at it before bending down to pick it up and glare at it as if it had personally offended him, “Why do I have to be so annoying!?” He turns and chunks the rock off the roof with a growl, a spark of blue in his quills and eyes as his powers are triggered by his high emotions and the rock is sent flailing towards space.
“Wow,” Sonic flinches and spins around at the unexpected voice, “And here I thought Shadow was the one with anger issues.”
“Look,” Sonic immediately huffs, trying to keep his cool but sounding a bit out of breath as his hackles rise, “I know I shouldn’t have thrown the jacket at you, and if you give me time to cool off, I’ll offer a way better apology. But right now, I’m soo not wanting to look at you.” Rouge blinks at that, landing from where she had just flown up to the rooftop upon hearing his little tantrum up there, “Mwah??” She places a hand on her chest as if to clutch her pearls, scandalized by his hostility towards her. Except she’s not, immediately letting the facade fall as she smirks and, “That should be a crime. I’m easily the best thing to look at in this boring, little town.” Sonic’s eyes just narrow at her, growling under his breath before turning away from her to cross his arms stubbornly, “Then why don’t you just leave??” Obviously offended by her insult to Green Hills.
“No can do, Blue. My new friend invited me here, and it would be a real shame to ruin a new friendship over a silly jacket,” she offers, taking a few steps towards him but not getting too close in case he still is too angry.
Sonic pauses a moment, turning his head slightly to look at her over his shoulder, “You think I’m your friend??” “Well, I was hoping,” Rouge chuckles, now approaching him fully to stand behind him and watch with slight relief when he turns to face her properly again. This time he doesn’t look like he wants to chunk her off the roof like he just did that rock. Instead he looks… guilty. Embarrassed.
“...Why would you want to be my friend after how I just acted??” “Because you just had a diva moment,” Rouge shrugs, “Trust me, I have plenty of them. And if I was held accountable for every time I had one, I’d never make any friends.”
Sonic looks down, rubbing his arm sheepishly with a small frown as he eyes the jacket she’s holding in her arms, “..I didn’t mean it. Snapping at you. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings or anything..” “Oh hun, you didn’t hurt my feelings,” Rouge smirks reassuringly. “I didn’t??” Sonic blinks, looking up at her. “Sticks and stones, Blue,” she shrugs with a wink, “Not the first time I’ve had someone not like me simply because they’re intimidated by me.” Sonic wants to defend himself, argue with her that he wasn’t intimidated by her.. But..
“Yeah. I guess that’s my problem, huh?? Kinda seems unfair you have to be treated bad simply because you’re so cool.”
Rouge puts a hand on her cheek to feign bashfulness, “Oh stop. You’re making me blush.” “You are! You’re– you have cool piercings, and you’re pretty like– all the time, even after long missions! And you fight really good, and don’t seem to let things bother you–” “Now who said all that??” Rouge tilts her head with a little quirk of her brow.
“Well… I just kinda.. Assumed.”
“Hey. That’s where you went wrong. Everyone knows to assume is to make an ‘ass’ out of ‘u’ and ‘me’.”
Sonic blinks.
“What??”
“I’m saying,” Rouge sighs, moving to sit on the edge of the roof now, jacket settled in her lap, “don’t judge a book by it’s cover. I’m not as perfect as I make myself out to be. Hard to believe, I know.” Sonic looks at her a moment before moving to join her on the edge, settling beside her with a foot propped up on the ledge and his arm resting on his knee. Overlooking the bowling alley’s parking lot.
“Besides, you’re pretty damn cool, too, Blue,” she adds with a small smirk, “Hero of earth? Fastest thing alive?? Look around, you have tons of people who care about you. That can’t be for nothing..”
Sonic shrugs, “I got real lucky, I guess.” “That ain’t luck, sweetheart,” she corrects firmly, Sonic glancing at her suddenly more stern tone, “People aren’t drawn to luck.. They’re drawn to good. And you’re probably the good-est thing anyone here has had in a long time..”
Sonic looks down again, thinking about her words. In a large way, he did bring them all together. They love him, he’d never doubt that. Maybe she’s right.. Maybe it’s not luck. Maybe it’s just.. him..
“I know Shadow certainly thinks so,” she adds with a knowing smirk, peeking at Sonic out of the corner of her eye to see him blushing a bit and his eyes widen slightly.
“Shadow-... Shadow’s biased. All he knows is me. The second he finds something new and better, he’ll… he’ll see I’m not as great as I’ve told him I am.”
Rouge snorts at that, “That’s some pretty selfish thinking.” Sonic looks at her confused, “How is me admitting I’m lame selfish???”
“It’s not. But you putting words in Shadow’s mouth for him is. You can’t think for the guy, kid, you gotta let him come to his own conclusions. Shadow knows a lot, okay?? He’s not some sheltered puppy. Hell– he’s seen more than you or I combined, I’m pretty sure..”
Sonic stays quiet, looking at her as she turns to look at him and continues.
“And he’s seen you. He knows a good thing when he sees it, and that’s all he sees when he looks at you. Good. And I think he knows he’s hit the jackpot managing to coral a good thing like you.”
Sonic blushes a bit and looks away again, fighting a small smile as he looks up at the half-blown up moon..
“He’s not looking at me, Sonic,” the bat adds with a little bump of her elbow to his arm, “He’s only got eyes for you. And I think you know that.. You just needed a reminder.”
Sonic sighs at that, looking back to Rouge and offering a small smile, “...I like you.”
Rouge just laughs at that, rolling her eyes at him and shaking her head, “I give you a whole speech on self worth and not being intimidated by false assumptions, and all I get is a ‘I like you’???”
“Hey! That’s an honor,” Sonic chuckles, “I’m the good-est thing in this town!” Rouge snorts at that, grinning as she shakes her head, “Gee. Glad it’s not gonna go to your head.”
They laugh another few moments before their giggles die down and they’re left sitting there content with one another.
“..I really am sorry for being a jerk,” Sonic says after a moment, turning to her to hold out his fist, “We cool?” She looks at his fist then him, offering a smirk as she fistbumps him, “We’re cool.”
Sonic nods, feeling way better already.
“Besides. Would be a damn shame if the two hottest kittens in this town weren’t friends,” Rouge adds with a shrug. “Oh, for sure. We’re gonna be such an iconic duo– earth doesn’t know what’s coming,” Sonic agrees matter-of-factly with a nod of his head.
“Agreed. So what’s up with your older brother??”
“Dude, ain’t that the question of the hour,” Sonic snorts with a helpless roll of his eyes.
“He doesn’t have much goin’ on in his head, does he?”
“He’s actually really smart! Just.. only with the things he already knows about.” “Obviously, he doesn’t know about manners,” Rouge huffs.
“Yeahhhh, that’s not his strong-suit, no,” Sonic rubs the back of his neck. “Guess someone will have to teach him,” Rouge shrugs, leaning back on her palms with a mischievous little smirk.
Sonic’s head whips around to look at her with wide eyes, “...Ewwww, that’s my brother.” “Hey. All is fair and all that jazz,” she shrugs, giggling at Sonic’s obvious disgust.
“Ugh. Just leave me out of it,” Sonic shivers, Rouge humming a little chuckle.
Her ears then twitch, hearing something from behind. Turning to look, she smiles softly and then slowly moves to stand up, “Well, I’m gonna get back in there. Let you two chat..” “Two??” Sonic’s brows furrow as he turns to look around and sees Shadow standing there looking… very upset.
It breaks Sonic’s heart, that guilt immediately rising in him again as he swallows on the lump in his throat.
“Oh..”
Rouge walks to Shadow, pausing beside him to hand his jacket off to him with a little wink, “Go easy on him. His cute makes up for the stupid.”
Shadow merely gives a grunt in response, taking the jacket as it’s handed to him with his eyes locked on Sonic’s.
Rouge flies back down below to the entrance, reaching to pull the door open only to freeze at the sound of someone clearing their throat.
She looks to her left to find the echidna stepping out from the shadows where he had obviously been eavesdropping.
“Hasn’t anyone ever told you it’s rude to sneak up on a lady??” she huffs, crossing her arms as she faces him, shifting her weight on her leg to stand all sassy with her hip out.
Knuckles ignores her words, stepping in front of the door beside her as he eyes her.
She almost feels nervous at this. How he’s sizing her up like he’s judging a pie at a county contest or something. But she doesn’t show it, merely leaning forward and narrowing her eyes at him with a quirked brow. “Take a picture, echidna, it’ll last longer–” “Thank you for comforting my brother.” She blinks, standing up straight again as her stance tenses at the unexpected appreciation.
“What?” “Sonic. My brother. I am not the best at knowing how to handle when my tribe is upset.. I am glad you were here to ease his mind,” Knuckles explains, his fists limp at his sides to show his openness. No hostility.
“Oh..,” she raises a hand to her chest, a slow smile forming on her lips, “Well in that case, you’re welcome.” “I will not forget this good deed you have performed for my clan,” Knuckles nods formally, a hand lifting to heavily rest on her shoulder and squeeze, “I am in your debt.” Rouge grunts a bit at the heavy weight of his fist on her shoulder, shrugging it off with a, “Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Dusting her shoulder as if he might’ve gotten dirt on it before pausing and then forming a mischievous little smirk on her lips as she looks at him, “I can think of a few ways you could repay me..” “Anything,” Knuckles says so dang nonchalantly. Like he doesn’t know what that deep voice promising that word can do to a girl. Probably because he doesn’t.
She just hums at this, reaching to grab the tip of one of his front quills hanging over his shoulder and give it a little tug so that he’s down to her level.
He crouches a bit hesitant as she leans up to whisper in his ear..
Then his eyes go huge and his muzzle matches the color of his quills, quickly pulling away with an absolutely scandalized look on his face, “MY INNOCENCE! My sweet innocence– I will not perform such an act, you batty woman!” He’s already rushing inside in an attempt to get away, Rouge laughing as she moves to follow after him with a shrug. “What??? Girl’s gotta eat..”
The door shuts and above on the roof, Sonic and Shadow are still staring at one another as if unable to make the next move.
Sonic swallows hard, slowly pushing himself up to stand from the edge and face him properly.
Shadow doesn’t move. Just stares at Sonic with this.. strange look on his face. A mix of hurt and fear and anger and… something else. Determination maybe??
Either way, Sonic is the first to speak, knowing he’s the one that owes the apology here.
“Shadow, I–.” he swallows hard, feeling the lump in his throat grow bigger with each word and finding it harder to speak, “I’m so sorry. I was really stupid in there..”
Shadow starts walking towards him, and Sonic just keeps word vomiting as he always does, his feet feeling frozen in place as the hybrid stalks towards him.
“I was being dumb and insecure and assuming things and I should’ve just talked to you about how I was feeling instead of being all dramatic about it and I just really care about you and am scared that maybe you’ll think I’m like super lame one day and won’t want to be around me anymore and are you gonna punch me?? Because I totally get it if you do, but also, my precious face–” Shadow reaches Sonic and shuts him up.
And by ‘shuts him up’, he means he grabs him with his face cupped in his hands and jerks him to him to crush their mouths together.
Sonic squeaks, eyes going huge and tail immediately wagging so fast that he might take flight like his little brother does. Shadow’s eyes are clamped shut, keeping his lips firmly pressed to the hedgehog’s and his hands holding him in place as he kisses him.
It’s awkward. Very inexperienced and firm and not at all soft and romantic like movie kisses are. Sonic can feel Shadow’s fangs peeking through his lips against Sonic’s own mouth from how firmly they’re pressed to his, but he is soooo not complaining.
And in his shock over this entire moment, he forgets to kiss back, standing there like a stiff noodle with his hands flexed in surprise at his sides and not touching Shadow.
A few moments pass and Shadow pulls back with a quiet ‘smack’ of their lips parting.
Sonic is still staring at him all frozen and tail wagging giddily. Shadow opens his eyes to look at him as well now, a deep blush dusting his cheeks as he clears his throat and looks down a bit awkwardly, “Just, um– just to make myself clear on where we stand,” he explains, lifting a fist to his lips to clear his throat–also to rub over where he can still feel Sonic’s on his.
“Oh,” Sonic croaks, voice sounding shaky and breathy and higher than normal.
“I hope that’s okay.”
“Yup.” “And we’re.. clear then?”
“Crystal.”
Shadow breathes out an amused puff of air at Sonic’s short answers, rolling his eyes before finally finding the courage to look back up at him and finding Sonic is now smiling like the stupid idiot he is.
Shadow just offers a soft smile back, moving to then take the jacket all this mess derived from and gently drape it back around Sonic’s shoulders. Straightening the collar, he looks back to Sonic’s eyes and finds the hedgehog’s pupils are still blown but his gaze has softened from shock to something akin to lovestruck.
“This belongs to you,” Shadow says firmly once the jacket is on Sonic properly, “Only you.”
Sonic melts a bit.
He’s got a feeling they’re not talking about the jacket anymore.
#sonic cinematic universe#sonic movie#sonic movie 3#sonic 3#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#sonadow#fanfiction#my writing#my fanfiction#sonadow fanfiction#courtship series#courtship#ao3#blue justice#we dont know her#its green justice now#movie sonic#movie sonadow#sonic wachowski#knuckles#knuckles the echidna#knuckles wachowski#tails wachowski#miles tails prower#tails the fox#rouge the bat#knuxouge#amy rose#tom wachowski
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Watching as Hiccup deciphered what she was trying to get across, it seemed like she had succeeded. Though, he wasn't as excited. Relieved, maybe? Happy to understand, though there was some sort of undercurrent to it...something like pity, perhaps? She supposed that made sense. It wasn't uncommon for dragons to pity her for as far as they found her strange and odd and had a lack of trust in her, they also seemed to just pity her.
Like her very nature and existence was a pitiable one. Like a wounded animal that wouldn't live for very long whose only option left was to be put out of its misery.
Well, she wasn't a wounded animal. She didn't need to be put out of a misery she didn't feel. Loneliness and isolation, perhaps, but she wasn't miserable. Far from - she loved her brothers and for as 'othered' as she felt, she liked being herself. She liked who she was. Even if she didn't always understand it, she didn't know any other way to be...so how could she know anything else?
And if she couldn't know anything else...why be morose about it?
Perhaps the name she was given was a bit cruel, but it was hers. It was who she was and she couldn't be anyone else but herself and her namesake was part of it. She was who she was...and she couldn't and wouldn't change it. "Yes. Stranger." She replied with a warm smile of her own, nodding at Hiccup putting a hand on her chest to further emphasize her response. "Stranger."
It wasn't long before she felt a gentle nudge from her side, Streak nuzzling himself underneath her arm as he cautiously glanced between her and Hiccup. It seemed he had grown tired of being chased around with a stick, but Seabreak was still holding his. Did he ever get tired? Is...is it working?
Smiling and giving him a little croon, Stranger pressed her face against his smooth and shimmery forehead, rumbling in her throat at him. It is! I'm getting used to this. I'm learning...and I think they are, too. Looking over at their dragons as well, she hummed a little to herself as she leaned against her brothers. I think...I really think we can trust them. I really think...they could be our friends.
Sunchaser had his reservations about her growing sentimentality. Not all dragons stayed within the Hidden World, that much was true, but it felt strange to be so close with humans after staying away from them for their whole lives. But at the same time...Stranger had been cut off from her own kind for essentially her whole life. Would it really be right to try to convince her to still leave like they had planned? Though, maybe she still was.
He would leave that up to her. Whether they stayed or left, they would not lead humans to the Hidden World. That was the rule and they had it for a reason. Stranger was an exception.
Turning the page, Stranger got to work once again. She'd gotten the hang of using her drawings to communicate. She'd always used them to copy whatever she saw around her, since she never had a need to use them in this way, so it was different trying to copy her thoughts to make external meaning out of them than just copying something she saw.
It was different! It was stimulating! She had always been a deep thinker, even if the only language she had access to was that of the dragons, but she had one - a language of images and colours.
On the left page, she drew the waves of the sea with a sharp break in the middle where the crests spread out and up in a splash, the break extending down into a V shape from which another Light Fury burst out of the water. She tried to emphasize the way the water was completely broken up by him splashing out, finishing with a couple vertical dashes to signify that he was the second brother. Now that she knew this worked, she didn't need to wait to draw the next one.
Which was...a little trickier. She named the youngest brother as such because when he took a running start, he became a white blur. She tried to draw his shape to be more fluid and like a vague shape that trailed behind him with speed, but it didn't quite get across what she saw visually whenever he ran that fast.
She huffed a bit to herself in frustration, resting her head in her hand for a second as she pouted with the pencil in hand...until she noticed in the corner of her eye the charcoal smudges on her hand, peering at it curiously through dark eyes as her thick brows furrowed.
Rubbing it between her fingers, Stranger's eyes widened with a small gasp. The charcoal could smudge!
With renewed vigour, she used her fingers to smudge his shape and drag the smudges behind him, leaving his head and his front shape clearer than his wings and tail, making that more obscured. Now that she had figured out that she could smudge the charcoal, she felt a lot more confident in what she was trying to explain. Now, he properly looked like a streak across the page.
Marking it with three vertical dashes, she turned the sketchbook to Hiccup and pointed from the corresponding pages to her respective brothers on each side of her. Sunchaser was easy to explain, but she hoped that the others wouldn't be that much more difficult. Though, she wouldn't blame them if Streak's was harder to understand.
She tried her best...that was what counted.
As she repeated their names, Hiccup smiled, nodding. "Yes, yes that's us!"
Valka watched with interest, as this was uncharted territory, but Hiccup seemed to be doing well in communicating with the girl.
They waited patiently as she drew, and when she showed them her finished work, they both leaned forward to get a better look.
Hiccup's brows furrowed, trying to make sense of it.
Both figures on either side had their backs turned to her. What does that mean? Shunned? Not belonging?
And, her face scribbled out...she was different, a...
"...Stranger..." Hiccup's eyes widened.
Valka turned to him, "What?"
"She's...she's a stranger, even to herself. Don't you see? She's human, raised by dragons. She knows she's different from them, but she doesn't know much about humans either. She's both, and neither at the same time..." Gesturing to the picture, he said, "This? This is how she sees herself."
Looking at Stranger, he offered a kind smile, pointing to her. "Stranger?"
#dragonmasterhiccup#rp thread#hiccup horrendous haddock iii#httyd oc#httyd rp#httyd#rp#{Stranger}#{Sunchaser}#{Seabreak}#{Streak}
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#some thoughts incoming idk if i should share but i need to put them somewhere#it's hard being in the yr fandom since the finale when you don't share the same vision and opinion as the rest#and people make future wilmon posts or write post s3 fics (which many exist now) they just don't align with your idea at all#and they're not exciting to me at all and the whole concept just makes me upset#i don't wanna imagine Wille as a 'normal' person (not that that's ever possible anyway which the show loves to ignore)#like I'm sorry but i didn't come to the show to watch an ordinary love story and have them lead an ordinary life#the idea of Wille being a future king and them navigating that royal life together is so much more interesting#i hate that that isn't canon anymore and when ppl make posts about them it's not about that or that would only be seen as a negative thing#i don't wanna imagine a life where they are 'normal' that isn't appealing to me at all and it sucks seeing everyone embrace it#and it's like you're not allowed to want something else or think differently bc that makes you the bad person and you're just wrong#i can't be excited about their future (also bc i don't really see them going strong in the future with how they messed them up in s3)#(i also didn't want to know what could possibly happen in the future i wanted that to stay open and just be in the present)#and seeing everyone else excited and happy about it makes you feel horrible and very alone and disconnected in the fandom#i don't wanna take it away from them but i also would love to see other takes but that's basically impossible now#am i the only person who feels this way or are there any other who can relate? pls let me know#i already feel like ppl are gonna attack me for this but it's been hard especially now with Simon's month and seeing so many interpretation#navigating ao3 has also become difficult now#it's hard finding fics to read where wille stays crown prince and you don't have to be scared for that to change#i just can't read any canon compliant fics anymore and i hate it bc i hate to disagree with canon#i normally don't do that bc canon is important to me and i don't want to reject it and create my own fantasy#and that's what's upsetting#anyway sorry i had to write this#personal
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Man.
chat this scheme has horribly backfired. i feel really bad for the TLC now
#it's so cold and so desolate and so alone... it must HATE it here#yin-thoughts#fallen london#fallen london spoilers#railway spoilers#it was so excited and so happy to exist as it is now and all its gotten is pain and anxiety and bitterness#it's just a little guy....#<- talking about a sentient city made from a perfect clone of the worst bat imaginable#i think im gonna leave it in the hurlers for now. both bc i need to grab more almanacs#and bc it's fitting from an rp standpoint#the scoundrel abandoning itself in the wastes. what a guy.
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today i found out im graduating from my university with a first class honours⭐️😭
#I’ve cried so many times lol#this has been such a beautiful weekend#was three years sober on Thursday#spoke in front of hundreds of people at a convention on Saturday#had an offer of an interview for a job I’m SO excited about and really want#spent the weekend w some of my fav people#GOT A FIRST?????#literally cannot explain how magical my life is currently and wanted to share that with u guys#IT DOES GET BETTER !!!!!!!#three years ago I didn’t wanna exist and now I’m like crying happy tears in my car🕺#ANYWAY#love u all
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#my dads back in ohio again so im back on my own. i still feel terrible but at least i have a plan#i have 2 weeks of this semester left. so i have to not fail my genomics exam and work on a group project plus grade a bunch#shouldnt be too hard but everything makes me so tired rn and i just feel this barrier between myself and everything else#even when my dad was here. i just dont kno how to feel happy. just varied levels of stress#but after the semester is over ill have to find a job for the summer. which super stresses me out bc i havent really had a real job outside#academia and im worried about how stressful ill find it bc im sure its gonna suck but at least i wont have to work on my project#i just think if i had a normal job that doesnt dominate every aspect of my life id feel a little less terrible. or at least i wouldnt send#myself spiralling so much. if i stay here i might not survive it#but what if ill just make myself miserable wherever i am? i dunno. but im gonna try to find a non academic job this summer with the epa or#maybe the usgs. i mean ive gota a bachelor's and a masters in environmental topics. that's gotta count for something#just get a government job. pray for a not terrible set of coworkers. and build something from there#it just sucks bc i feel like everythings falling apart and like i kno if i gave it my all i could pull thru and get my phd but im just so#tired of struggling against something everyone else can do. i just cant read at a level appropriate for what im doing#ugh. i dont wanna study for genomics. i just wanna sleep. i just wish i wasn't in this position#and now i a baby about it. i mean my sisters r in similar positions bc the youngest is currently looking for a teaching job. and my middle#sister is looking to move to new york city in the next 6 months and she'd be quitting her job for that. so we're all sorta in flux#i just wanna not be flailing. not watch my hopes and dreams collapse. be excited about anything. im just sad bc i have to make hard choices#even if i know theyre the right ones to make if i want to continue to exist. sometimes u cant have the things u wany.#and that sucks and i hate it. theme of the year: sometimes life sucks and theres nothing u can do abt it#unrelated
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If you're asking why I came back only to rb a billion PGR memes.
I'm plotting. Shhhh.
#lien speaks#I'll allow myself to talk about the project for a teensy tiny bit buuuut#I'm fandubbing PGR ✨#We've been at it for a week now wHOAAAAAA (casting call ended november 4th wHOAAAAAAAA)#But I've been working on this thing since July which is hilarious given I started this darn game back in June (chasing white hair male sigh#The project is going really well and I'm sO excited because all my cast members are AMAZING and I'm so glad I picked who I did for the proj#*project#It does feel really nice to actually be doing something that I want to do#like albeit I'm also balancing between this and my dayjob which my dayjob is extremely unstable and doesn't pay well at all (it lied :I)#So financial wise I'm Shit and stressed. but I haven't been this happy in sO long and it feels SOOOOOO NICE!!!#BEAT THAT SAD!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA#I know there isn't a lot of folks who care much for this over here which it's fine it's my blog I yap about whatever in life#but like. genuinely doing this and doing more of this hobby makes me unbelievably happy and I really hope I can keep going at it in the#future#the only thing is just balancing between two jobs basically to get paid properly and OURGHHHHHH#I hate existing.#I would talk more about it because it does make me very happy and excited but m( . 3 .)m then I'd /only/ be talking about that here haha#It matters to me and only me and it's nice to just log that joy somehow someway haha
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hey just a reminder that sometimes you have to accept that you’re going to have to have feelings without a filter, and you’re going to have to tell people that you care about them, and you’re going to have to start saying i love you. if you want affection and love and adoration you cannot close yourself off forever and ever. keep up your walls as you must to protect yourself but not forever. and if you feel like you can’t ever let them down then i’m sorry. i hope you find someone that makes you feel safe enough to start saying and feeling these things.
#lolaa.txt#little thing about emotions.#i’m not affectionate. not really.#im a deflector and i laugh off affection and love a lot#and all it has ever done for me is push away people who want to help me so so badly.#and it’s a slow change. slowwwww. the tiniest steps .#and i go back so often.#today my boyfriend said he missed me and that i was pretty when i woke up and i told him i was going to never speak to him again#because i cannot accept these things and it so so hard to say that i appreciate it#but i know i know he needs to hear it and he needs to feel appreciated yknow?#and im working on it im trying so hard#especially when you have been fucked over for saying your feelings in the past. it’s hard. it’s so hard. and i’m sorry#just. tell your friends you love them. tell people when you’re excited or happy.#smile when you get to do fun things. laugh at jokes! scream and yell and cry and hit things and grin and be out there#numbness will not fix what problems you have. it won’t.#it’s comfortable but you can’t have love without discomfort sometimes#sorry about all this i’m just . i’m having a bad day and it’s really hard today to be open to everyone#so this is my try#i am upset. and i miss my friends. and i love my mom and i am also mad at her because i am frustrated with the world right now.#and i am tired but because its tiring to force myself to exist and feel#i need to relearn how to be a child about it#and that’s okay#that’s all ; sorry for the long tags. thank you for being here
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Episode one of Supernatural is so flawed that, had I watched it for the first time last night (instead of for the third), I would not have have watched the second. Ever. The flaws are things I simply didn't pick up on when I was thirteen, and memory glazed over with emotional attachment. I understand why these flaws are there, what the writers tried and failed to do through clumsy dialogue and strange character decisions. There's no subtlety. Everything Sam says is direct exposition, specifically the things that he would not have to say to his brother.
I do not do reviews so that's all I'm going to say.
#But who would I be if I had not watched supernatural?#I wouldn't be on tumblr for one#not in the same way that I am#Perhaps I would like different shows because the part of Supernatural that still appeals to me now is the queerbaiting#The blatant queerbaiting#the fact that they never get together#the weird way that excessive misogyny creates homoerotic subtext#that's what captures my interest as a viewer#which is problematic or whatever idk i think the show would have been less interesting as a romance#the most interesting part of the show to me by far is dean's character#and part of his character when read as a suppression of homosexuality simply would not work if the show didn't queerbait#also fun headcanons i hold for characters (like trans/bi dean) are separate from how i would actually analyse the actions of dean#i don't think dean is trans i don't think his character reflects a trans narrative#but i make him trans in my fanfic because i can#and i enjoy exploring that potential interpretation of his character even if i don't agree with it necessarily#i'm better at explaining this in person but I watch hannibal and Supernatural over shows with actual representation in them#because it's frequently a more interesting dynamic as someone who doesn't actually enjoy watching romance#this is not to say i don't watch things with queer characters in them and that I don't love to see representation#i nearly cried when the doctor and rogue kissed#and i don't cry for tv shows#i get incredibly excited and happy to see queer representation in anything at all even if i'm never going to watch it#i'm so so happy that shows like heart stopper exist and are popular and mainstream#that's fucking awesome!#but i'm not gonna watch a queer romance for the same reason i'm not gonna watch a straight romance#it's boring once they get together#and i do want to mention that in my head there is a distinct difference between a romance and characters who are together#like hiccup and astrid isn't a romance they are two characters that get together in a story about friendship and standing up for yourself#and others and also it's about fucking dragons put whatever you want in there i will watch it if it's about dragons.#but stoic and valka is a romance BUT THEY DON"T END UP TOGETHER#spn
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(gets ignored by my group of friends that i’ve known my whole life when i try to ask as carefully as possible if they want to maybe go out to eat with me on my birthday): :,(
(remembers I now have new people in my life who are always enthusiastic about going out with me, and try out new games and anime just because i told them i like them, and say insane shit to me like “I really wanna do this thing but Only if you’re there as well when I do it because having you there with me is what makes it special”): :D
#it only took all of highschool for me to not be someone’s second choice#graduated from b tier friend to a friendgroup in which tiers dont exist because we all like each other tf#and maybe constantly worrying about being the next person voted out of the friendship or the weakest link is like uhh not normal actually#and whk knows maybe some day the other shoe will drop and this post will feel like a kick to the face#but today im just happy that rejection doesnt quite sting the same because i now have people who make me feel like the first choice#i think im starting to love this group of people god i’m a little scared about it. but they might be learning to love me too?#i mentioned casually how theres this one junk food place i always wanted to try as a kid but my dad never let me and-#one of my friends INSTANTLY went “Oh I’ll take you there! Promise! It’ll be so fun!” like what the fuck was that!!!#I need to be a better friend to them stat like everything they do I Have to pay them back theyre fantastic people#Six people bought TICKETS. to the FNAF MOVIE. they organized their collective schedules.#To watch a movie about a game franchise theyd never played#Because two of us!! LOVE the games. And our excited was contagious to them enough for that. What the hell
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Status update the guilty gear cards are activating my latent perfectionism. Badly
#i got worried that the transparent cards look silly so! im just gonna have 2 folders. 1 with transparent bgs and 1 with white bgs#but uhhh#with the original transparent cards. i tried to align the art more than the cards themselves#cuz a lot of them are printed off center. severely#but now that the cards are on a white bg… some of them look messy -_- very off center#so i had to fix all those -_- im leaving the transparents the way they are tho…#also! scanned most of the booklet. 60 something pages. i need to re-do the first couples pages cuz they came out yucky but yeah.#happy :) excited :) yay#these cards are based on an existing system i guess so i probably couldve just looked into it to figure out the rules? but well. its cool.#i need to get a binder for these cards… idek what im gonna do with all the dupes… gah#maybe resell em on ebay if i ever have the drive to… mail a bunch of stuff… sigh#the kat goes meow
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OMGOMGO THAT DANCE ASK I JUST SAW WHOAAA I AM SUCH A SAP FOR YOUR ART YOU DRAW EVERYBODY SO??? AAA??? /POS SJHASD
AZDBABDFA AAA THANK YOU ANON :'D
i'm so glad you liked it!!!! the reaction to that piece honestly surprised me a little since i expected more people to like dance's character! (i mean. i saw so much content abt them back in 2017/2018 but maybe that was just me hhh xD) then again i've never seen a fanbase centered purely around them so,,, *shrugs*
still incredibly happy with that artwork tho >:D <3333
#ask#rip poor dance really got no simps hhh i'm SORRY#it's fine tho trust me i get it! i'm not as excited about say fellswap than i am for cross or killer#there isn't as much of a tale to get attached to compared to the more story driven sanses :') the aesthetic/concept is neat tho#but thank you a lot for the kind words!!! i'm glad you think so highly of my art :'Dc#i try my best to make them all look as cool as their sans version so i'm happy the result is satisfying >;D#thanks again for passing by!!! have an amazing day<3333#((also a lil bit unrelated but my asks keep getting eaten once i put them in drafts :'( i lost 3 by now and i'm so sad about it >:'D#so if you sent me an ask it's either that i didn't receive it; didn't answer it (yet!) or i did. but it bugged out of existence hhh :'D))
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