#it was so damn funny but also deep and heartfelt

[thewanderingace]

Each Ted Lasso episode just making me smile so much my face hurts while also making me cry because of all the various feels I get about these characters and storylines. God I fucking I love this show

[mitochondriaandbunnies]

You Should Watch Wiseguy:

The show that changed the face of television while no one was paying attention

If you've ever watched and enjoyed anything that gets tossed around as “prestige television—”  you know what I’m talking about— long form narratives, high stakes, actors with something to prove— shows like The Sopranos, Breaking Bad, The Wire, etc.— you have Wiseguy to thank. While largely forgotten by mainstream audiences (for a variety of reasons, including sheer lack of availability), Wiseguy was one of the first non-soap-opera shows with a fully serialized story— one that expected you to see every episode, in order. When it began airing in September of 1987, really the only other thing on TV like it was Michael Mann’s Crime Story (also worth a watch), and Crime Story would be canceled before Wiseguy even hit its second season.

Writers, actors, and industry types of all kinds cite Wiseguy as a major influence— Vince Gilligan and Tom Schnauz credit watching Wiseguy in the 80’s as why they cast Jonathan Banks as Mike— Chris Carter hired writers from Wiseguy when he started the X-Files— actors like Stanley Tucci made their names on the show— and hell, David Chase wrote an angry letter to the New York Times claiming he was absolutely under no circumstances at all influenced by Wiseguy ever, which feels like the kind of thing you don’t need to write a letter about if it’s true. 

Of course, just because something is influential doesn’t mean it’s good. 

Wiseguy is really damn good.

Much like Miami Vice (and some of the later shows that took influence from Wiseguy), Wiseguy takes the position that there’s very little difference between criminals and the police, and that the justice system is wildly ill-equipped to create justice. Mafia movie blood, with all its inherent moral ambiguity, runs through Wiseguy’s veins, and then after episode nine, it asks you to think about how that blood would pump in a different milieu— corporate espionage and the destabilization of the global south by American capitalists, insular rural politics and the easy rise of small-time dictators, congressional politics and Twelve-Angry-Men-worthy courtroom drama, the music industry and the cutthroat disposal of talented young people. Money and power structures are always suspect, and good-hearted tough guy lead Vinnie is constantly torn between doing his job, doing the right thing, and doing the thing that makes sense to him emotionally.

The show is heartfelt, tense, funny, and above all else, incredibly human. The characters behave irrationally— they self-sabotage, they struggle with moral decisions, they lash out at people they care about— because they’re people, not plot devices. Little things will come back to haunt them, often many episodes later, in believable and sometimes gutting—but rarely shocking— ways. Despite this realism, and a deep sense of cynicism about our institutions, Wiseguy never falls into the trap of wallowing in grim bleakness. The writers and the actors clearly believe in people— it’s a show that says— ‘yeah, the world sucks. So how do we keep going, together?’ The characters are lovable not because they’re all good, but because you feel like you could know them, with realistic flaws and foibles and senses of humor. Sometimes it’s a little silly, and sometimes it’s a little melodramatic— but it works, because sometimes that’s how real life is, too.

Wiseguy is four (well. three and a half) seasons [cross out— and a terrible TV movie that disregards canon], and is notably divided into 4-11 episode arcs within those seasons, and occasional “breather” episodes between arcs. It’s actually a brilliant bit of plotting that I wish more shows would do today— it allows for overarching narratives and real stakes without running into DBZ-like “the next threat has to be BIGGER and MORE DANGEROUS” power level bullshittery that’s common to a lot of long running serialized shows. One of my favorite aspects of this design is that the cast partially rotates every few episodes, but the show still expects you to remember what was going on with the characters from the previous arcs— because they often return later in unexpected and narratively satisfying ways.

The three characters that remain more-or-less consistent throughout the show are Vinnie Terranova, an undercover agent for the Organized Crime Bureau, Frank McPike, his handler, and Dan “Lifeguard” Burroughs, the OCB call-center operator who gives Vinnie field instructions. 

Vinnie Terranova is just on the border of thirty when the series begins, a gregarious kid-from-the-neighborhood, just out of a cover-establishing 18-month stint in prison. He is a bundle of contradictions— quick to fall but slow to trust, a practicing Catholic who chose a job in the field of lying and murder, a 50’s hood irritated by bigotry. Vinnie is both far smarter and more sensitive than anyone gives him credit for, which is both his greatest strength and his fatal flaw— empathetic undercover agents burn out fast. He spends a surprising amount of the series trying and failing to quit his job. He has a marshmallow center, a steel-trap mind, and the general affect of your cousin who dropped out of college to marry his pregnant high school sweetheart. He also has no idea that his type is “angry asshole” and keeps being surprised when he falls for them. 

Frank McPike is a curmudgeon's curmudgeon, a career fed with a chip on his shoulder, a fathoms-deep sense of cynicism, and a collapsing marriage. He and Vinnie begin the series at odds, and as you watch the first few episodes, you're going to seriously struggle to believe me when I say that the affection between Frank and Vinnie becomes the absolute thematic and emotional heart of the series. Frank is also a genuine oddball failing to pose as a tough guy; he makes noises, he lurks in strange costumes, and the words he chooses when he’s irritated beggar normal human understanding.

We don’t get to know Dan as quickly or as deeply as we get to know Vinnie and Frank (in fact, he’s introduced as “Mike”), but he’s the man behind the curtain, a guiding moral and emotional star for Vinnie, a talented musician, and a cheerful face with a lot of anger bubbling just below the surface. He offers life advice even as his own home life is in constant meltdown, and loves both Vinnie and Frank with a fierce, sarcastic weariness. Dan is also an amputee, and his disability is portrayed with respect and without pity— a rarity for television even now, but especially in 1988. 

You’ll absolutely fall in love with these three, but one of the things that makes Wiseguy so special is its fantastic supporting cast. The world is fleshed out and lived in, and you get the distinct sense that all the recurring characters have their own lives we don’t get to see off screen. There’s Carlotta— Vinnie’s mother, as contradictory and sharp as her son, Pete— Vinnie’s brother, a progressive basketball-playing priest, Roger Lococco— a killer-for-hire who refers to every person on the planet as Buckwheat, Rudy Aiuppo— an elderly don with the heart of a trickster spirit, and a whole host of others who enter and exit the narrative throughout the arcs of the show. There are also a whole host of wonderful arc-based characters played by incredible actors, journeymen and and famous alike— including turns from Tim Curry, Debbie Harry, Jerry Lewis, Stanley Tucci, Patti D’Arbanville, Stephen Bauer, and Billy Dee Williams. You can tell everyone involved in the show had a fantastic time working on it, and nearly every actor who comes aboard really puts their whole Wisegussy into it gives it their all.

You notice that as I’ve been speaking, the lights have dimmed slightly, and the strains of an organetto have started to play quietly in the background. A man in a rumpled suit is smoking nearby, though you are fairly certain smoking indoors hasn’t been legal in a number of years. I pass you a plate of espresso and biscotti. 

Let’s talk arcs.

The first arc of the show, known as the Steelgrave arc, is a lot of fans’ favorite arc of the show, and for good reason. Vinnie infiltrates a New Jersey mob organization, and gets very, very close* to this man:

Sonny Steelgrave, human Knife Cat, is a complicated man, and Vinnie has complicated feelings about him. He’s very nearly a co-protagonist to Vinnie in this arc, and the show artfully toes the line between condemning him and making it clear that he’s not always entirely wrong. Vinnie’s goal is to get Sonny into prison and take down the entire family— how and whether he achieves this goal is best left unspoiled. Sonny may not have been the first complicated, likable villain on television, but his arc is intense, heart-wrenching, and splendidly morally grey. I don’t think it’s an overstatement to say that the Steelgrave arc is the best nine hour mob movie ever aired on television.  

*I’m really not kidding about the closeness. There’s an episode where Sonny announces he’s getting married and literally all the other mobsters are like ‘oh, now I understand why Vinnie has been in a bad mood all day.’ They are as close to canonically in love as a federal agent and a mobster have ever been portrayed on screen.

Lest you get Kevin-Spacey-jumpscared, the following arc unfortunately has Kevin Spacey in it. Thankfully he plays a slimy sister-kissing coked-up hypercapitalist, so it’s fairly easy to just hate his character in the same way you hate the actor and move on with your life. 

This arc, the Profitt arc— in which Vinnie is tasked with taking down a wealthy business mogul who is suspected of drug-and-gun-running— is, for many fans, a close second to the Steelgrave arc. It’s an interesting change of tone and locale, and introduces Roger Lococco, who is a really stellar supporting character. Personally, I rank a bunch of other arcs above Profitt, because no matter how much I like Roger, Mel and Susan are bananas, and they wear out their welcome before they exit the narrative. Regardless, it’s a stylish arc— one that rather  kicks truth, justice, and the American way in the teeth— and Mel’s machinations have serious reverberations later in the show. The Roger subplot is also genuinely excellent, and good old Corey Matthews’ Dad plays him with aplomb.

Back home, after trying to quit his job and failing, Vinnie has to deal with a threat with much smaller, but far more personal stakes. A white supremacy group has moved into his neighborhood and is attempting to recruit working-class Italians to their cause, pitting an older immigrant group against a newer one, pitting Catholics against Jews, and pitting a previously “ethnic” group’s newly acquired “whiteness” against people of color. I have mixed feelings about the Pilgrims of Promise/White Supremacy arc, because it’s truly quite good, and it pulls no punches about the kind of people fascists are and prey on, but it’s also exceptionally fucking upsetting that nothing has changed at all since 1988. Literally you could remake this arc word for word today and a) it would be exactly as believable, and b) your show would be immediately boycotted and canceled for being too “woke.” Great writing, great stakes, great character motivation; so, so uncomfortable to watch.

And then Ken Wahl breaks his leg in real life, and they have to replace him for a few weeks. 

The Garment Trade arc starts off pretty promising— Vinnie meets with the son of a clothing manufacturer, they have great (borderline meet-cute) chemistry, it’s a wonderfully New-York-in-the-80’s kind of storyline, Jerry Lewis is there, and I think it’s the only time I’ve ever seen Sukkot represented on TV— and then Vinnie has to leave for the next four episodes because of Wahl’s broken leg. They rewrote the arc on the fly, and considering that, it’s pretty good. Jerry Lewis is still there, and he gives the serious, dramatic performance of a lifetime, and Stanley Tucci chews scenery as The World’s Slimiest Businessman. We meet Vinnie’s childhood bestie, “Mooch,” whose actor, delightfully, starred beside Ken Wahl in 1979’s The Wanderers. My beautiful and talented wife Joan Chen even shows up for an episode. However, all of this is undercut by the lack of Vinnie; his replacement, a semi-retired agent named Raglin, is… a bit milquetoast. He’s okay, and he’s given some interesting backstory in his final episode, but he’s no Vinnie.

Once again sporting a functional leg, Vinnie returns, and my favorite arc other than Steelgrave follows. 

In the Dead Dog arc, Vinnie has to pose as a music producer, because the OCB traded an airplane for a music label. It’s the dumbest, most fantastic plot device of all time, and brings me incalculable joy. I literally made Dead Dog t-shirts because I love this stupid fake music label owned by a fictional government agency so much. 

The Dead Dog arc sees Vinnie at his happiest (the poor man really, really just wants to quit undercover work and stop being involved with Murder Organizations), and the crime he’s investigating is… wait for it… bootleg CDs. You would think this would be a ridiculously boring premise for an investigation, but the Dead Dog arc has Tim Curry, Debbie Harry, Glenn Frey, and Patty D’Arbanville playing a cadre of unhinged music industry moguls all attempting to stab each other in the back, and it is exactly as chaotic as you would expect based on that cast. This arc also had a bunch of original music produced for it, which is extremely fucking cool, except that then the studio lost the rights to the music it created and this arc became inaccessible and unwatchable except through circulating the tapes, so to speak, of early 90’s TV rips. (The irony is not lost on me that the arc about the Evils of Piracy is the arc that one must pirate.) Miraculously, in the last year, Wiseguy’s rights have been renegotiated, and the newest sets of the show have Dead Dog restored. Accessibility via streaming is still a bit of a mixed bag— the episodes were streaming on Tubi and Youtube briefly, but now appear to have been taken down again.

After his turn as a surprisingly successful music producer, Vinnie returns to his roots: the mob. In the Mob Wars/Trash Wars arc, Vinnie unintentionally becomes the temporary leader of the local mafia commission (I will not spoil how.) The OCB wants to use this as an opportunity to take down the entire organization from the inside out, and Vinnie must deal with mafia backstabbing, pressure from Frank and the OCB, and surprisingly personal stakes. It’s an unspectacular but solid arc that regrounds the series, and the interpersonal aspects of the story— and its examination of fathers and sons and generational inheritance of social rules and expectations— are excellent. The Mafia Wars storyline won’t blow your pants off, but it’s thoughtful and well-executed and reminds us of who Vinnie is and where he came from.

What follows is another of my favorite arcs, referred to as the DC or Counterfeit Yen arc, but perhaps better described as the Mr. Terranova Goes to Washington arc. Vinnie is summoned by the federal government to investigate counterfeiting, and thus unfolds a multinational conspiracy that ties back to the Profitt arc. Much like the White Supremacy arc, this arc is distressingly current— Vinnie is a patsy for a group of corrupt republican senators who want to destabilize the currency of a perceived East Asian economic rival. It’s Yen here, but all you’d need to do to bring this arc into 2023 is swap out references to Japan for China, because the American government has changed very little from the 80’s and has to be awful about some country somewhere or, I don’t know, a bunch of horrible old racist politicians will shit themselves. Vinnie enters talking like Jimmy Stewart, and leaves with one more thing to be crushed and disillusioned about. We get some riveting and stomach-churning courtroom drama, the bad guy turns out to be capitalism all along, and Frank threatens to shoot a Howard Hughes stand-in on a ski lift.

And then somehow we end up in Twin Peaks. The Lynchboro arc predates Twin Peaks by a whopping two months, indicating a total coincidence of premise similarities, but it does take place in a corrupt rural Pacific Northwest town unduly influenced by one large family/company, wherein an outsider has to investigate a tangled conspiracy and deal with strange townsfolk and some spooky happenings. There’s no way either show could’ve plagiarized the other— they were assuredly written and in production at the same time— but it is deeply bizarre. In the Lynchboro arc, Vinnie goes undercover as a local beat cop, and finds himself faced with both a serial killer and a land-rights and building-contracts espionage plot. He also has to deal with Mark Volchek, the ostensible “owner” of the town, and his eccentricity and decreasing grip on reality. Roger returns, and Vinnie must finally confront the enormity of his trauma. One major character is literally brought back from the edge of death by another character’s crushing love for them, expressed via church bells. It doesn’t exactly end on a cliffhanger, but it doesn’t not, either.

And then Ken Wahl quit.

Season Four begins with a deeply depressed, heavily bearded Frank struggling to find the will to live after Vinnie has disappeared. (I don’t think I’m really at risk of spoiling anything serious by saying that we are “supposed” to think Vinnie is permanently gone, but that there are a huge number of blatantly spotlighted contradictions in that story. Wahl left on decent terms, and I firmly believe the Wiseguy staff was expecting to eventually win him back to the show and have his absence turn out to be a ruse. Unfortunately, Wiseguy got cancelled before this could happen.) Frank spends the first (and only complete) arc of this season investigating his partner’s disappearance, eventually working with the supposedly-corrupt DA who helped establish Vinnie’s cover back before Season One. 

It’s not an uncommon opinion to say, ‘hey, just skip S4’— and honestly, if you chose to watch S1-3, you’d have consumed a wonderful story with a reasonably coherent ending. But I don’t actually hate Season Four. The “new Vinnie—” Michael Santana, played by pretty-boy Scarface alum Stephen Bauer— is exceptionally likeable, and he brings with him a new set of characters who are also quite compelling. Furthermore, if you’re a Frank fan, he really gets the spotlight in this season, and if you’re a Frank/Vinnie fan, Vinnie may not be around, but Frank’s despair is really fucking something else. It’s almost worth it just to see him lie to the FBI and tell them he “never crossed the line” of professionalism with Vinnie.

Unfortunately, the next arc sets up something really compelling and unique, but it’s only 3 (unaired on TV) episodes, and ends on a complete cliffhanger, because the show was unceremoniously cancelled. After his niece is shot in the midst of teenage gang violence, Michael teams up with Billy Dee Lando Calrissian Fucking Williams to investigate red-lining and racist underfunding of schools. Oliver Stone shows up in the last like, ten minutes of the last episode?? I would be all over this storyline if it wasn’t just dropped like a moldy tomato, but I guess that’s what fanfiction is for. It’s not how Wiseguy deserved to go out, but hey, it was really aiming for the stars even as the plug got pulled.

Oh, and if anyone tells you there’s a 1996 TV movie, no, there isn’t.* 

(*The movie is so deeply mediocre that it’s worse than any of the controversy surrounding Season Four. It essentially retcons all of S4 and, frankly, really the last few episodes of S3, and presents a bland, uninspired “getting the gang back together” story that retreads thematic materials from the show without saying anything new. Vinnie has apparently been doing wiretapping for 6 years, which is completely at odds with everything we know about his character, and he and Frank are treated as “dinosaurs” that the OCB doesn’t know what to do with, and yet they are also simultaneously the only ones who can take care of a nearly-kidnapped child. It’s rushed, it’s emotionally hollow, the actors are phoning it in, and it ignores all of the character development from the series in a way that renders its plot nearly nonsensical. Furthermore, Ken Wahl had been in a seriously disabling motorcycle accident a few years before, so his apparent discomfort and stiffness throughout the film is because he’s genuinely in significant pain. Don’t watch the movie. You can always write fix-it fic for how Vinnie manages to come back after Season Four. It’s much harder to write fix-it fic for boring character assassination written by the 'due-process-is-for-pussies-and-torture-works' 24 guy.)

One of the other delightful things about Wiseguy is that Vinnie is both a big softie and yet is also saddled with a bizarre sort of erotic smolder, and therefore he has ridiculous chemistry with basically half the cast of the show. Vinnie very much seems a guy like you could say some blandly nice things to and buy him dinner, and you’d wake up, exhausted and satisfied, the next morning to him cooking breakfast. You’d think, wow, this guy is so thoughtful, he must be the one— and then you’d turn your head and he’d have immediately been seduced by the next schmuck down the line. He’s a good boy, but his “acceptable romantic target” sensors are so wildly mistuned as to render him, affectionately, a tragic slut. Will he end up with a mobster? One of a number of widows? His boss? No one knows but god.

Vinnie is also heavily bi-coded— his relationship with Sonny is almost explicitly romantic, he calls out Roger for homophobia (in 1989), one of his old friend asks if the reason he’s not married is because he ‘likes boys,’ and he doesn’t say no, and he has a borderline I-love-you moment with Frank. The boy just wants someone to love him, goddammit. 

I’m also really not kidding about Vinnie and Frank developing into the emotional core of the series. They live together for a period of time. They both imply they can’t live without the other. They go shopping for Dan’s birthday together. They pick up Frank’s ailing father from the nursing home together. Frank picks out Vinnie’s tie.

You pick at the plate of spaghetti that appeared in front of you, unsure of either its provenance or why it came after dessert. It’s the best spaghetti you’ve ever had, and that frightens you, somehow. 

I lean in close to whisper to you about crime. You note that at some point I changed into a pinstriped suit. You don’t remember me changing, or even getting up— you console yourself with the notion that maybe I’d been wearing it from the start, even though you know that isn’t true.

So, the thing about Wiseguy is— well— it’s more available than it used to be. The whole series was recently released on blu-ray, and both that set and the most recent DVD sets actually have every episode, a change from the previous releases. As of August 2023, all of the series except Dead Dog is available, legally, on Youtube. This is a vast improvement from even two or three years ago, when multiple episodes weren’t available through any means but blurry, VHS-tracking-laden downloads of TV rips. 

Unfortunately, the most recent renegotiation of the series home video and streaming rights still failed on the music rights front. Dead Dog has been spared the hammer, but there are still places where the series has gaps. Notably, there’s an episode (Stairway to Heaven) where Frank murders a jukebox, and looks completely fucking insane, because the original (thematically meaningful) music the jukebox was playing was replaced with generic elevator music. Worse, the final episode of the Steelgrave arc (No One Gets Out of Here Alive) is missing two musical cues: in one instance, Sonny himself is singing, in a fit of mania, and the footage has straight up been cut from the episode because they couldn’t get the rights to The Young Rascals’ Good Lovin’.  Equally egregious, The Moody Blues’ Nights in White Satin, which originally played over nearly a minute of sustained, silent eye contact between Sonny and Vinnie— has been replaced with the Wiseguy opening theme. It renders a scene which should be quite clearly devastating and unsubtly romantic instead utterly awkward and bizarre. It’s hard to demonstrate just how jarring the change is unless you’ve seen the scene, but suffice to say that everyone I know who has seen both versions— in either order— has expressed horror and bafflement at the substitution. 

Which is to say: there’s a couple of episodes of Wiseguy you’re probably going to want to locate those shitty old TV rips of. It’s worth it, even if it seems like it wouldn’t be.

I place my hand over yours. You jump a little. I have a number of large, dark-stoned signet rings, and my hand is strangely cold. 

I make you an offer you can’t refuse.

You’re going to watch Wiseguy. 

[goldentigerfestival]

We are now on part 3 of the differences in the original Vesperia context (and tone!) versus the dub! Due to Tumblr's image limit, these had to be cut into parts.

Part 1.

Part 2.

Part 4.

(Other) GTF Favorites.

Yuri just mentions they're not nervous at all here. The dub changed this to "let's have some decency here". Again, super random change that I'm not sure why they put there. They just really have a weird thing for changing really random context.

I NEED to put these ones side by side because this one is completely ridiculous. They had Alexei not only say "urgh!" instead of "hmph", but he sounds like he's getting stabbed. I genuinely do question what on earth they were doing with this game sometimes, but I can also tell they didn't quality check like, anything... if the grammar and awkward sounding English in some places is anything to go by (a lot of NPC/sidequest dialogue in the dub ended up really wonky, and they didn't even go back to fix any of it when the DE came out). Like. What happened here LMAO.

no but really this is just here because i find "lend me your face" very funny because that's what this literally says. it technically does mean "we need to talk/can we talk/etc", i just need some amusement before getting into dub yuri again.

Yuri's tone shifts more to catching his breath and calming down here. Again, as usual, it's a lot less aggressive than the dub makes it out to be. He was yelling this time, but he wasn't yelling the whole way through it like dub Yuri almost always does with Flynn before late arc 2.

I'm not gonna put pictures of all the times there's more vocal nuance (pauses, deep breaths, etc), but just know they're everywhere in the original audio. Really nice touch imo.

Flynn never says anything about "like a good knight". The way the dub uses it with him, and at this point? feels very derogatory, especially having him say it about himself.

This is really just "geez...", but the dub (you guessed it: more aggressively) put "damn it, Flynn...".

Here, Yuri was saying more of just "here we go again with Flynn putting all the responsibility onto himself". Once again, the dub has him angrily yell at Flynn and changes the context to make him angrier.

Flynn didn't tell Yuri what to do. He just said he was going to go after Estelle because it was his responsibility, and that his brigade will focus on Ioder. Again, the dub just makes shit up to put Flynn down (yes, you can probably realize I'm getting annoyed with this fact by now).

Yuri continues his thought by saying "anyway, the ones who will recuse Estelle is us, Brave Vesperia", i.e. he's basically saying "there you go again trying to take responsibility, but we're the ones who will be doing that". Dub Yuri continues his thought, angrily, saying Brave Vesperia's going to rescue Estelle (i.e. he's saying don't tell me what to do, we're going to do this", not "anyway, we'll be the ones to rescue Estelle" in response to Flynn trying to bear that burden.

At this point Yuri has dropped his anger in the original and is more back to his usual self with Flynn. Flynn's response is slightly vocally changed, seeming more shocked-surprised in the dub, but in the original it's more grateful-surprised. Kinda hard for me to explain without a video, so I'll have one in my clips.

Sodia doesn't say she'll return when she can. She's asking that Flynn gets back when he can (which makes more sense in context since she didn't want him staying here and not being with Ioder in the first place). The dub does this sometimes where they get the speaker and person spoken to/about mixed up, like with Aifred and Patty and Don earlier.

Flynn's thanks toward Yuri in the original is much more genuine/heartfelt. Yuri's response is infinitely more relieved, relaxed and grateful, spoken softly (the dub again really flattened his tone).

Here's the clip for this scene.

I really enjoy the original context of this scene because Rita tells Estelle to wake up, Alexei's response is "very well" and he wakes her up with her power, so he's using a taunting power move. In the dub he says "no matter". I guess he means waking her up is no matter? But that feels a bit easy to misinterpret imo? I just feel like "very well" makes more sense given the context.

I'm... NOT sure what happened here in the dub. He says "take us there" and just walks off. Take them... where? Sodia is asking him to return to Ioder, and Flynn is saying he wants to go after Alexei while ordering his brigade to go protect Ioder. Where would they take them? All he's supposed to be asking here is for Sodia to please let him go (after Alexei).

Not gonna make a whole video for this one clip, but Yuri's tone is a lot gentler here and a lot more understanding. As... as usual with Flynn and the dub and the original.

In the dub he says "that's enough", but here he's basically expressing how he's getting sick of various individuals insisting the world's crisis is all because of one person (Estelle).

The dub changed this to "what the hell?!". Personally I find Yuri yelling at him and calling him an idiot to make more sense in the context/fit more in line with his personality.

The dub changed this to saying Yuri can really be a downer sometimes. Once again, a case where I think the original line makes more sense. I'm not saying that just to knife the dub here - I genuinely just think the dub had some really whacky word choices and unnecessary changes, aside from the weird mistakes in the context (again, see the "take us there" and "please" scene).

Also have a video clip of this scene (and the Schwann stuff before it), because while the tone was pretty strongly different for parts of the Schwann scenes, this one was inarguably the worst contender. Yuri in the dub is shouting rudely at Leblanc and his knights. Here, Yuri is just solemnly asking for them to please not get in their way (he uses "tanomu", which is essentially "please"/asking for a favor, etc. It's significantly more considerate than the unnecessary shouting from the dub (and lack of polite wording) despite that they're all in an immense amount of emotional pain right now, and it shows deeply in Yuri's voice here).

As usual, Yuri treats all the knights worse in the dub than he actually really does in the original.

A small change, but figured I'd drop it off here nonetheless. Just Yuri teasing Rita lol.

For the first one, didn't want to make a whole clip for it, but his voice is very soft and sad.

Second one, he says he prays that day never comes, versus the dub's "earnestly".

Yuri doesn't say anything about "showing off" (he specifically calls Flynn reckless) and as usual he's just very casual, relaxed and lighthearted about it. I also have a video clip of this one.

(Flynn doesn't even show off! He's just saving Zaphias! How is that showing off?!)

Yuri doesn't say "look out", which... makes more sense, because the monster isn't attacking yet. He's just realizing the danger and getting Karol out.

Also, Yuri in the original actually says in desperation that he's begging Karol to run. He doesn't say "I told you to get out of here", he's literally begging Karol to run away (again, uses "tanomu" here). Has much more emotional weight in the original and Yuri is very clearly panicked (the dub once again just makes him sound angry and less filled with desperation of getting Karol out of there).

This is another one I have a video clip for.

He's not saying anything about "taking the fun out of it", but rather that the situation is discouraging (the current state of outside), but that they're thriving (thanks to Ioder). Another change I'm... not sure the reason for?

Sometimes they have very understandable changes, but some of them are like this where I just can't pinpoint the reason for it; or if it was a translation mistake, how they made that specific translation mistake.

Slight change, but sounds less sarcastic to me in the original. Given the dub's history with Yuri and Flynn though, I'm not surprised I feel that way...

Buddy I try to be as reasonable as I can be with this dub, but sometimes I gotta draw a line. The way they tried to make Yuri sound cool and edgy by having him straight up threaten Ioder for literally no reason (Ioder isn't even saying anything bad, he's just asking what's going to happen to Estelle and mentioning that Yuri is trying to shoulder the burden of killing her alone) is not something I am getting over lol.

Ioder says maybe Yuri's the one the sword was waiting for, and Yuri mostly playfully just says he'll punch him. He did not threaten him and by all things holy did not threaten to use a weapon against him in a dark, eerie tone like he hated this guy. Yeah, I'm sure he doesn't like the implication of "maybe you should be emperor", but he's not threatening Ioder and Ioder has literally never done anything to deserve being threatened by Yuri. He's very fond of Yuri and extremely considerate to him given that he doesn't have to answer jack shit of Yuri's questions but tells him everything, always, anyway.

Also have a video clip for this one.

The difference here is Flynn is using quotations, implying he understands that "save" may also mean kill, which was completely left out of the dub.

Karol wonders if Khroma wants them to stop Alexei. For some reason the dub changed Yuri's response to "it would add up", but in the original he doesn't bother thinking about it nor considering that it's a possibility (which I imagine is the game's way of hinting to you that she's not referring to Alexei).

The Sword Stair arc has a bunch of small changes littered throughout it, but none of them are too significant so I'm going to skip going through most of this arc as far as those changes go. Generally speaking the sidequests (in the whole game in general, with a few having some minor changes as usual) and Zaude are about the same, so I'll also be mostly skipping those. Video clips are more for tonal differences (or just my personal favorite scenes in JP), so for these particular posts I'll be skipping the majority of those.

Worth mentioning that overall the plot is left alone in translation, and a lot of things are actually pretty much spot on. The majority of the alterations and changes, as you may have noticed at this point, relate primarily to Yuri and Flynn respectively (often treating Flynn poorly or making him sound like a hardheaded law enforcer, which is not the case at all but that is another post entirely for another time).

Once again due to the image limit we'll be moving on to another post!

[non-neutoniangender]

Finally back to watching campaign three now that I'm done with school. An oh my god!?!?!? First of all, the ad read from Sam was something else. Also,

LUDINUS!?!?!?!? The fucker.

The casts reaction to him was gold, especially Liam. You can see the pent up Caleb anger in him.

NATURAL 20!!!!

The nightmare king really is a peice of shit

A non-human peice of shit for sure

The DIVINE GATE!?!?!? on the MOON???? oh boy.

Boy its funny to see everyone jump to "these are bad gods stuck on the moon" to "wait what are we saying, its fine, they're probably in love and on a honeymoon, its fine"

The web of connections is huge

This is feeling like the Marisha moment from CR2

Lol breaking the lense is such an Ashton moment.

The complete mistrust of Ira and his papers.

I love what Matt is allowing with the dual detect thoughts this campaign.

Shit Ira is a master manipulator. God I hate his guts.

God I'm so enamored with Laudna and Imogen.

Beau shows up when you need her!! <3

The cast banter is so good!!

Curiosity on a stone

Knowledge on a biscuit

Passion on a leaf

I'm DEAD.

The therapy discussion. This is so funny.

The doll!??!? Fearn is a master if dry humor. While the whole cast is loosing it.

The traumatized by their parents kids in the corner is hilarious. And so right.

The parents were okay discussion!!

The allusion to all DnD characters parents being shit!!!

I'm so proud of Fearne!! Talking to her parents about her issues.

"I have a child" the whole cast!!! The parents.

Oh Fearne. I love her.

Orym being the behind the scenes support adamantly. He's the heart of the whole group in some ways.

Matt's keyleth is <3. Also the way marisha looks at Keyleth Matt is <3.

"Dont know where you are. Hope you're happy" damn orym.

Orym is so melancholy. I want happiness for him.

Damn... Dancer. Bitch.

D'awwww cuddling!! Also "I'm a little creeped out, not by you obviously" they're so cute together.

Oh my god I had those dolls as a kid!!! They're awesome!! Thats so sweet of chetney.

The buildup, and subsequent follow-up to " I guess I'll just buzz saw him" was incredible. Sam is great and his characters are always so underestimated.

The way Matt jokes that they are all ruidus born. Like. He's right right!?!??? Like they all have to be?? Or at least quite a few of them.

I have so much anger towards that manipulative bitch Delilah Briarwood. The catharsis I will feel when when she is gone..... good lord

Also the faces of the whole cast when the first HDYWTDT. The dead silence of.... did I just kill a PC.

Big props to Laura for that deep cut of a Wicked reference lol.

This FCG moment is really powerful. Also the grass being painted by someone.

Orym says he isn't a leader. But he is. Just a leader from the back. A role model.

All the heartfelt moments!! So very nice!!

All in all, a very cool episode.

[kuwdora]

om nom nom - Cooking/Baking shows I've been watching

Usually my go-to comfort show and things to have on in the background is Star Trek. I’ve been rewatching Lower Decks and want to start rewatching Strange New Worlds but my mind has not been able to relax and I feel like I've needed to try something new to occupy the weary brainmeats. So! I’ve fallen for cooking/baking competitions over the last two months. These are all things I found on Netflix.

The Final Table - a dozen teams of two chefs from across the world compete in country-themed challenges. I haven’t been up on cooking shows for awhile so I was surprised and fell in love with the depth and nuance that some chefs bring to their work. The sheer artistry and love of their craft! But also a lot of these chefs were thrown into the deep end when they haven’t had Japanese food before or their partner had more ideas/ability to pull off the idea for their dish for the challenge. It was very exciting. It also was filmed on the biggest soundstage and the most fake sounding studio applause and cheering but I had a great time following the chefs around the world.

Cook At All Costs - three people are given $20,000 each to bid on secret boxes of food and ingredient add-ons to create a dish for specific challenges. Whatever people have left in their bank is the money they get to bring home. There’s a lot of bidding wars and strategic haggling going on in the show and the set’s got a cute conveyor belt that brings out the ingredients and other competitive quirks that I quite liked. Very refreshing and fun.

Bake Squad - this is basically capturing the feel-good vibes of Queer Eye and puts it to baking feelings! Instead of competing against each other, their competitions for the chance to make a guest’s Big Event with a magnificent cake. It features four bakers who have different specialties and everything is so gorgeous, sweet and funny. Really really fucking heartfelt and delightful. 10/10 will watch again.

Baking Impossible - this show pairs baker and an engineer and gives them a challenge that requires both amazing design and flavor. There are cake robots! Cake cars! Cake buildings!! Their work is judged on the engineering/design merits as well as aesthetics/flavor/presentation. It’s hilarious and gripping and extremely outlandish and FUN.

Pressure Cooker - Top Chef meets Big Brother. 12 chefs enter a house. There are no celebrity judges. The chefs judge each OTHER’S DISHES and votes them out of the show. The ego! The mind games! THE FOOD! I was engrossed in a way I haven’t been with reality shows for ages.

Snack vs Chef - chefs/food scientists compete against each other for money. The challenge?? They are given classic snacks and are asked to recreate them and then also recreate their own version of it. Pringles. Oreos. This was fucking brilliant and tasty.

Drink Masters - Basically a bunch of bartenders/mixologists are putting together the most delicious concoctions I’ve ever seen. I want to drink almost everything I saw, even when I thought it would probably be personally offensive, because damn. The presentation and ingredients were so beautiful and interesting. There was a whole challenge where they made like, alcoholic boba pearl things. Molecular Gastronomy!! It's a whole chemical thing! Fucking wild stuff. Crazy Delicious - This show is not... good, I don't think, but it is entertaining enough for me to turn off my anxiety brain for a half hour. It's your usual 3 contestants and a cooking challenge with certain ingredients. Except they've designed a set on a soundstage to look like a magical forest where contestants will go and 'forage' for their ingredients. There's random shots of parrots and fluffy bunnies chilling out in the forest, and a delightful host with gorgeous bright dresses and colorful eye shadow. The food judges on the show are cast as 'gods' so everyone is cooking to 'please the gods.' The gods are all dressed in white and bestowing judgment and advice. Some of the contestants are really, really terrible home cooks but some of have managed to make goodies worthy of the show's title. It's definitely ridiculous.

Fried, Fresh, and Crispy - not a competition, but a travel food show featuring Daym Drop touring all the fried foods in the US. Daym is amazing and I am losing my mind at every episode and all the fried delights he’s bringing to my screen. I want to eat all the non-seafood/crispies please. Daym has me howling because he's so much fun and a delight to watch.

Got any cooking/baking shows that you’ve enjoyed? I’m also going to probably get into all the glass blowing/metalsmithing and flower decorating shows on Netflix at this rate. Also probably the interior design shows, too.

[jackklyne]

Why 7x10 was hands down the best 'legends' episode

I know last week we said that 7x09 was like the best episode yet. But this episode really solidified what a true legends episode is. It had chaos, comedy, heartfelt conversations, character growth and meta comments, everything that this show is known for. I think it's testament to how good Maisie's direction was this ep. It was a good balance between intense, funny and heartfelt. The montage of Sara trying over and over again was not only funny but a demonstration of the determination Sara has to protect her family and bring them home. Not to mention every time she failed, she had her team, her family to fall back on and they supported her the whole way through. We sometimes forget that even if Sara can't die, she can still feel the pain of each death. So the countless times she got back on her feet to try again, proves time and time again that she is 'Sara damn Lance'. Even when that group of teenagers made fun of the team and clearly discouraged Sara, it only strengthened their drive to succeed. There was something really refreshing about how genuine the whole ace conversation came about. It started with a fuck marry kill, not some deep heavy confused conversation about sexuality, and it came across as no big deal, which it isn't. Zari has always cared for Spooner - in season 6 she was always the first to ask Spooner is she was okay when Spooner's alien sense were tingling, even first to give her her nickname 'Spoones.' The fact that they were kinda awkward in the beginning because they were intimated by each other shows how much respect they have for the other. And ultimately was Zari, not Astra her bff, who was able to get spooner's to realise and thus come out about being ace. I loved the way both Tala and Lisseth decided to play the scene, it had me screaming but made me love both their characters even more. Don't even get me started on Ava and Gwyn. There are other posts who capture my thoughts exactly. But as Gwyn said himself, despite not understanding his deep faith in god, Ava's conviction to finding a way for Alun and Gwyn to be together without losing time travel itself is very moving.

Also, it was just funny as fuck. Nate's cute little map that Sara and Gideon drew all over, that sara montage, Gideon's drinking, the awkward Spooner-Zari conversation. Pure comedy gold.

Also, im so fucking excited to see og legends go head to head with evil!legends next week!!!!

[distracted-milkshake]

Wanna talk about how the pilots are attractive

this was sitting in my unholy drafts so @silverpaintedstars and @cielo-estrellado-neborium I'm dragging you down w/ me you gotta rb on main let's goo: Tyler Joseph

It's almost odd to me we find Tyler attractive because honestly he has few to no traits that I've ever seen considered conventionally attractive. (Don't get me wrong; I think it's good to find unconventional, underrated and nonconforming ppl attractive! I'm just saying in this case I dunno what makes this guy hot stuff so I find it o d d)

He has really tired looking eyes and little muscle definition, kinda a nice jaw but idk, full lips, though i don't think that's generally accepted as an attractive trait in men (depending). His eyes are really pretty when he's actually showing any emotion /hj But then again like his fade is super damn good, love his no-shit attitude, that frickin' mcfrickin' stare dude I can't deal, his flows not great (ok) but all the things I mentioned above and his distinct and heartfelt speaking voice are things I find rlly hot Also, over the course of more than a decade no a decade and a half he's kept a youthful, deep-thinker yet shy breedable fuckboy charm that I just haven't seen in anyone else.

Also, ovary ripping bass riffs. If (fictionally, fictionally!) Tyler told me to get down on my knees for him, I would. I think rpf smut is wrong but my personal fantasies of a yes married man are between me and God alright!!11!1!! (They're always outside of any real world context anyway) I'm a horny teen I think I can get some slack. Moving on those space buns and flowery jacket thing I think contributed 17% of my bisexuality. (Even though the space buns were after I came out; just the energy of someone who would do that paired with his previous gender-role breaking fashion choices did a lot to me) I wanna kiss a precious boy.

And his hands!! Why does nobody ever talk about his hands?!? Just look–

and tell me you don't want to hold those pretty nimble digits up against your cheek and just mwah. So, like, 10/10, would date young Tyler, want to date young Tyler why can't I have a boyfriend (him)???!

(Also he's got a nice ass)

And it's just funny to me if there's enough pictures of someone and enough interviews for you to see an odd curated splice of personality and mannerisms can you find anybody attractive? I mean personal preference and character/physical traits are still 100% a thing but I'm curious if liking a person for reasons other than being physically attractive but having a huge amount of media related to them does anything to shift your view of what you find characteristically pleasing or good-looking. I mean, im nearly certain it does, but it's an open question. I'm thinking also I usually like guys with shaggy or long hair almost exclusively so... Yeah.

Josh Dun Josh can I actually speak openly here I was a bit bigoted towards and found him ugly for a long while. Before I was actually a fan and had only seen like two MVs and a poster at my friends house I thought they were a stupid pin up band I kinda thought Josh looked weird. It was sorta like this thing I won't lie it was racial prejudice (I however did not read him as Asian at the time) but I did have similar phases with and when i thought Billie Joe and Gerard were ugly (for BJ it was the basket case MV [i thought his jaw was odd! I've since loved the look of crooked teeth billie] and it wasn't because Gerard has a chubby face I actually though his makeup in the I'm Not Okay MV was very unflattering [i also disliked that song till like three listens] what sold me on Gerard and the band was WTTBP MV, which actually my thoughts were 'his face is so soft and cute!!', and for BJ just realizing he'd gotten it fixed and it was class prejudice to messed up teeth that I'd internalized, it faded with more pictures of him younger when I saw just how pretty he was) anyway getting sidetracked I didn't like Josh's odd eyes or large nose till I watched several interviews and really started to get into the band, when I saw like more pictures of him from different angles and such and it actually hit me that I had a bias. At first I thought he was Korean (thanks tear in my heart), like I actually thought that until just earlier this year when someone shared a screenshot of a thing he'd posted on Instagram. He's Japanese, actually, and I really relate to him 'cause I'm biracial as well. But yeah now I think he's really pretty but like I don't want to dismiss there was an East Asian and mixed race features alarm that was going off in in my head and it upsets me that I don't know where I picked that up from. Because less about finding him attractive I never should've thought him displeasing and ugly on grounds of race!! Not finding him attractive, sure, I find lots of people not attractive, but actually thinking negatively of him because of his ethnicity? Goddamn... I think it's worth mentioning that I had no such phase with Tyler, whose non-white ancestry is much less noticeable and who I think [Lebanese descendants] can frequently pass as white. (also i don't think anyone's gonna come for me for saying he's white so i just will; he's white) I deeply apologize for my insolence, internalized phobia and lack of education, even though I never expressed it publicly. I also just wanted to share as a reminder that brief phases of distaste or bias don't make you a racist person! So long as you acknowledge and apologize and do better there's no harm done, and really it's such a tangled sticky web of finding anything non-white acceptable without fetishizing or hyper idealizing that it's really not all your fault for having momentary feelings of dislike or discomfort (especially over someone you aren't even meeting for real!) that stem from racial stereotypes and bigotry. And if you recognize and correct it, really no problem! Which can be waay more difficult than people make it out to be, if there's the added factor of being raised with demonizing beliefs, it'll probably take much longer or not happen at all with out proactivity to think positively of certain unidealized features or racial traits. Oh and you don't have to find them hot, you just shouldn't think of them as universally undesirable But if you do, you might find a certain Asian boy super stinkin' mothafuckin' sexy. And on that note back to assessing hotness....

If you can get past his occasional awkwardness, he's such a fricking smiley bean!! He has these two flip sides of like talkative librarian to sweaty studmuffin drum machine and when and where the switch happens is always unexpected but you never see him go from bod babe back to handsome book marm. He can only devolve sexiness where no one can see, I suppose, which makes sense.

When he was doing all the wacky hair colors it damaged his hair a lot but even that was a look!

And ahhh regardless of anything he's just so pretty!!

L-like have you seen his perfect curls and gorgeous smile and laugh and his gauges and pretty eyes and his voice when his eyes sort of glance off when talking and shirtless his face when he holds his drumsticks up and his arm tats and his tits and abs and my god bABE THOSE FUCKIN TITS 1000/10 want to love from afar, an absolute gorgeous man.

Hope ur balls are ok so you can have kids just as pretty if you ever want to one day. Jenna Joseph Jenna is so beautiful I almost find it hard to say so because she's gorgeous in such a western way. Like bright blue eyes and wavy blonde hair while being average height and slender I almost feel bad thinking of her as attractive, everything about her is so widely accepted as such. I really, really love her open mind and kindness! Like just everywhere I see her I'm like oh okay! Someone called the sweet woman here to be amazing again!! Ahh why is she so cute!!! She looks a little too made up or 'perfect' to me at times but I can totally look past that, simply because I know being in the public eye a lot and running an active account on an image media website where it's mostly pictures of you is rlly, rlly difficult. Again I admire her openness! (tho i'd never be that person)

Tyler definitely deserves someone like her, but I'm still confused why she decided a dunce like him who screams and smashes piano (implication intended) was worth it lol/lh She doesn't set off my bi-panic, though, kinda just a heterosexual appreciation. 8.5/10, want hugs from, want tea with. Maybe kiss. Really sweet mom (no milf you hoe)

Debby Dun I have little to say about Debby. I think I'm still kinda in stupor at what is the weirdest real life crossover of all time for me. I've known her name and face for like... Eight years?? I used to watch Jessie every other time I visited my cousin's house. I have nothing against her, I just have nothing for her either. Like I saw vines of her and Josh in like 2019 but I didn't recognize her. I didn't know they'd been dating till everybody was leaking that they'd gotten married (which dick move btw, you seriously gonna get invited to a nice private wedding of a famous person and then leak photos and info online?? What the hell? Granted I think a private wedding is silly when you're gonna say like 'we may or may not be' because if you aren't why not just say no? Kinda outing yourself saying anything but no. But I get it on more of a matter of principle I guess) so yeah still a total shock to my real life multiverse, I dunno if I'll ever like fully grasp that they're part of the same space time continuum.

About her though, she's traditionally pretty, I like her personality, think she's funny and sweet. Cute eyes, like her hair when she has it natural. 10/10 for the shawty energy. ...like I said I have little for her.

I don't think I'd have any interest in her unless they had kids NOT to disrespect whatever decision not to or family planning they have I'm just it's odd in my brain for married couples to not have kids and I'd be lying to not convey it I am honestly curious is that a Catholic thing does anybody else feel like or know of people who feel like that?

But like yeah idk she's just boring, sorry. Sweet and I'm glad she makes Josh happy, but boring. Afterword: I swear if any of them ever read this I'll rethink all my life choices and jump off a roof (onto a mattress) tl;dr: id suck off young tyler some poignant stuff about race w/ josh and it comes down to tits and smile jenna be pretty (no milf) debby shawty but she's also eh to me

[gogglor]

Cap-Ironman RecWeek: What-If Wednesday

Time for another installment of @cap-ironman rec week! Today’s theme: AU’s.

I know AU’s in different settings are half the reason most people read fanfics, but they’re not really my thing on the whole. AU’s where different choices are made, or different events transpire? Absolutely. Coffee shops? Not my cup of... you know.

So, here’s my AU recommendations for mostly “turn left” scenarios. This time with an under-the-cut break so I don’t take over everyone’s timelines (sorry about that last post). Also with some summaries truncated for length.

Alone Like This

Author: GotTheSilver

Word Count: 7,452

Summary: Steve, post waking up, runs away from SHIELD, and Tony's the one who tracks him down.

Why You Should Read It:

First off, GotTheSilver’s been consistently and regularly putting out solid Stony since 2012 and not only are they not stopping, they’re only getting better. This writer doesn’t get nearly the fanfare I’d expect in Stony circles for someone who puts out this much good stuff, and here’s hoping this post can be a part of changing that.

While I am always a sucker for enemies-to-friends-to-lovers, there’s something to be said for stories where Steve and Tony hit it off right away. And watching these two very different people look at each other and see the same sense of being lost, then finding each other again is... excuse me, there’s something in my eye, ignore me.

Second Chance Lives

Author: raeldaza

Word Count: 43,872

Summary: Tony's gonna die of palladium poisoning anyway, why not join a pointless expedition to recover Captain America’s body? And after, well, why not dedicate his last few months to making sure an American hero settles into his new life? What else is he going to do, get drunk at parties?

Why You Should Read It:

This writer doesn’t write a lot for the MCU but when they do, dang.

“Tony is the one helping Steve acclimate to the new century before Avengers 2012″ is a whole genre of Stony fanfics that scratch an itch I didn’t even know I had before I started reading fanfiction, and this is one of the best ones out there. It’s got it all - Steve poorly coping with his PTSD, Tony poorly coping with his immanent mortality, some breathtakingly poor communication between the two most emotionally stunted men in the MCU, and a cat named Roomba. What’s not to love?

Should You Choose to Accept It

Author: elwenyere (look, you’re gonna be seeing a lot of them this week, sorry-not-sorry)

Word Count: 27,106

Summary: After a terrorist attack and a field operation gone wrong, the Avengers realize that Nick Fury's secrets are just the start of a much bigger mystery. Steve and Tony try to keep some things from each other as well, but that can't possibly affect the mission — right? Mission Fic + Getting Together (or Mission: Getting Together) that mashes up elements from Iron Man 3, CA: Winter Soldier, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. season one, and Mission Impossible 3.

Why You Should Read It:

You can see my post yesterday for singing El’s praises, but what I really liked about this fic was how how damn creative it is. The CAWS/IM3/AOS mashup is everything I wished the actual MCU gave us and more, with well-developed characters and an exciting story to put them in. And because it’s El, you know the banter’s gonna be on point, the way the characters care for each other is gonna be emotionally constipated but touching, and the pacing’s gonna be exciting enough to draw you in and keep you there. Also, this fic doesn’t have nearly enough kudos so please go read it and fix that or I’m gonna have to try to hack AO3 and that’ll just be embarrassing for all parties involved.

What Happens In Vegas

Author: sabremc

Word Count: 161,951

Summary: “What the hell, Tony?” Rhodey demanded brusquely.  Tony winced and drew the phone away from his ear.  “You’ve got cops and Feds all over the hotel.  I’m watching you perp walk out of the police station on repeat on CNN.  They’re saying you tried to bribe Stern?  Fox News has you selling weapons on the black market, and God that picture they’re using is the one from Bali in ’09.   You look like shit.  They wheeled Stern out and put him in an ambulance, by the way.  Got some paparazzi swearing you decked the guy.  Now they’ve got ‘copters following it like he’s OJ.”

“Yeah, don’t worry, Sourpatch, I’ve got it covered.   Uh, though, I should probably tell you that, purely in the interests of national security and the greater good, I kind of had to fake marry that stripper-gram  you sent.  Thanks for that, by the way,” Tony added quickly.

Why You Should Read It:

If you’re deep enough into Stony to see posts like this on Tumblr, you probably know sabre’s what we in the business call a “big name author.” They’re prolific, they’re popular, and most importantly, they write words good (technical term). Seriously, sabre just keeps cranking out high quality stuff over and over again, raising the bar for the rest of us like a jerk (not really. I’m not bitter they write stuff so good I wish I’d thought of it first. Not at all.)

I never read stripper!Steve or stripper!Tony as a rule, but this came so widely recommended that I broke that rule and boy am I glad that I did. This is also the only fic on this list that’s a true-AU, with Steve being a non-powered vet from Afghanistan who left his army career to help Bucky and is stripping in Vegas to raise money for a prosthetic arm. He’s booked to do a private show for Tony, shenanigans ensue, and now they’re fake-married. This fic’s got some top-of-the-line banter and character development, but I particularly love it for its rich setting. Sabre paints a Vegas not just with strip clubs and blackjack tables, but KISS-themed minigolf, romantic dinners on the Eiffel tower, gaudy hotel lobbies, and making out on giant ferris wheels. It’s such a richly developed playground for the characters to play on, and through it, Steve manages to find a life for himself he’d given up on, and Tony finds multiple ways to show his kindness and depth of feeling for Steve. I know the word count’s long for this one but trust me, you’ve gotta read this fic.

Wait & Sea

Author: Lenalena

Word Count: 53,244

Summary: In which Tony and Steve get sent on an undercover mission aboard a cruise ship to make contact with Hydra. In this AU the military has kept the discovery and defrosting of Captain America a secret, so Steve and Tony have never met before. Yet they are to pose as newlyweds....

Why You Should Read It:

This one’s old and popular enough to be considered one of the “classic” Stony fics, and for good reason. Lenalena doesn’t write too often and not as much as they used to, but the fics they have up there are an absolute delight.

This is another fic that I skipped a bunch of times for being outside my comfort zone, but when I finally read it I saw why everyone’s so wild about it. In this story, Steve’s defrosted a bit earlier and not revealed as Captain America. He and Tony are sent undercover to sniff out Hydra shenanigans on a cruise and, because it’s fanfiction, they’ve got to pretend to be a married couple while onboard. There’s tons to love about this fic, but the things that bring me back to reading it over and over is first, Tony’s kindness and the way he’s attuned to Steve’s feelings, which... God, just inject “kind, observant Tony” straight into my veins, please and thank you. This is also another really rich setting for a story, and Lena knows how to fold the the hokeyness of the cruise into the seriousness of the mission and the depth of feelings Steve and Tony are finding for each other in a really beautiful, layered way. It’s funny, it’s heartfelt, it’s steamy, it’s gripping... why are you still reading this here? Go check it out for yourself!

Ashes to Ashes

Author: dirigibleplumbing

Word Count: 51,582

Summary: After regrouping following some surprise time travel, the world's heroes and sorcerers come up with a plan to protect the Mind and Time Stones by taking them into space in opposite directions. The result involves a lot more time loops than Steve would like, but at least they're getting a second chance to stop Thanos. (As well as a third, and a fourth...) And if Steve takes the opportunity to try to reconcile with Tony, too—well, they have the time, and Steve's going to make the most of it.

Why You Should Read It:

Dirigibleplumbing’s another name in Stony fanfics that does not get nearly as much fanfare as they deserve. They’re consistently a really creative voice in Stony fanfics and I always look forward to their stories showing me something new. Go read all their fics, I need more people to geek out with me over them.

I tend to limit myself on Steve-and-Tony-mend-things-after-Civil-War fics not because they’re not good, but because they’re so heavy, and also the Sokovia Accords have five hundred layers of crap in them that no good fic could possibly hash out well. This one, though? When you add in the Infinity War/End Game fixit? Poetry. Art. Music to my ears. DP wrote a really engaging, twisty story where it’s hard to predict what’s coming next, in spite of it literally being a pseudo-Groundhog day scenario. The characterizations are great, the story is engaging, and the feelings are big and sad and eventually happy. Go read it, you’ll love it.

I have tons of other recs for this category but this seems like a good place to stop for today. Tomorrow’s Alternative Media Thursday, and I’ve got some real gems I’ve been saving for that day (aaaaand possibly a self-rec or two ;)

[novoaa1writes]

honest

pairing(s): daisy johnson x nb!reader, melinda may & nb!reader (familial)

summary:

coming out is never easy—even when you’ve got reliable people in corner.

contains: angst & fluff with happy ending

(also available on ao3.)

word count: ~2,000

rating: teen

warnings: sparring, self-doubt; anxiety (not chronic); muscle pains, bruises, and aches (from exertion); mild language; coming out; discussions of gender and sexuality

notes: 

in my head, this is staged at the playground somewhere in season 2-3ish of marvel’s agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

— —

disclaimer: this is in no way reflective of the experiences of all non-binary individuals everywhere. as someone who’s recently had the realization that i am Not Woman and Not Man and has been subsequently made to have some rather difficult conversations with those closest to me about changing up pronouns, this is simply based off of my own experience and struggles with my gender / sexuality. it’s a uniquely personal thing to come to terms with, and it’s different for everyone.

feel free to message me if you’d like to talk about it!

— —

You let out a long, slow breath, eyeing yourself critically in the bathroom mirror. 

Nervous eyes, shower-damp skin, lower lip swollen and puffy from biting it relentlessly—an obtrusive testament to the overwhelming abundance of unease ballooning in your chest.

Yeah. Seems about right. 

“C’mon, Y/N,” you grumble, taking great care to pitch your voice well below the hum of the fan overhead. “It’s fine. You’re fine.”

The more insistent you become, the less you believe it. 

“It’s just Daisy,” you continue, silently willing yourself to remain undeterred by the crushing doubt that gnaws away at your insides. “She’ll understand.” 

... But will she?

You frown at your reflection, skin prickling with frustration. “And if she doesn’t…” you trail off, hating the quiver in your voice for betraying your weakness. “If she doesn’t, then you shouldn’t be with her anyways.” Your voice comes out stronger this time, even if the words themselves are enough to scare you shitless. 

You like Daisy. Could grow to love her, even. 

Being with her… it’s made you the happiest you’ve ever been in your entire life, and damn it all, but you mean that. 

“She’s going to understand,” you say aloud. “She will.”

God, you pray that that’s true. 

— —

7:00am sees you getting your ass thrown violently all across the mats by an ever-indomitable Melinda May, racking up bruises and scratches and aches like no one’s business. 

By the time 9:00am hits, you’re a wheezing mess, sprawled spread-eagled atop the sparring mats—lungs on fire, chest heaving for breath; sweat-drenched skin littered with technicolored bruising.

In short, it’s hellish. 

“C’mon,” May urges, tone curt and even. She looms imposingly down upon you from above, a decidedly unamused expression gracing her elegant features—and, get this: not a single hair out of place, nor a hint of labored breathing. 

You groan and squint up at her, searching for—

A-ha!

There, just above one immaculately-manicured brow and, like, two millimeters beneath her hairline—a tiny little droplet of perspiration. As you watch, it seems to absorb itself into her flawless skin—disappearing before your eyes like it was never even there. 

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” you grumble. 

May just raises a single brow, offering you a hand up. “Up.”

You frown at her but don’t push your luck; rather, you accept the proffered hand and allow her to pull you to your feet. Your arms and legs and abdominal muscles all scream in protest as you lurch upright into a flat-footed stance, but you grit your teeth and bear it. 

Training with May—torturous (and often humiliating) as it may be—is voluntary. Something you chose, and continue to choose even despite the unadulterated hell it puts your body through with every swift kick and bone-jarring punch.

Not only that, you’re lucky to study opposite someone as fearless, skilled, and fucking terrifying as Melinda May. 

Even when your limbs are all ache-y and sore and burning with a pain beyond your years, you know that. 

Still… 

You probably could’ve done without this today. After all, getting your ass kicked for a solid two hours all across the mats doesn’t exactly inspire confidence. And, considering the conversation you plan to have with Daisy this afternoon, you’re gonna need to muster up all the confidence you can get. 

— —

“Spit it out,” May prompts, sidling up to match you stride for stride as you take a couple cool-down laps around the miniature track (¼ the size of a regulation model)... walking, that is. Not jogging. 

Honestly, you think that if you even tried jogging right now, you’d pass out. 

You spare her a sidelong glance as the two of you round the bend, perfectly in sync. “What?” 

May purses her lips, giving you a look. “You were sloppy today,” she remarks pointedly. “Distracted.” 

Her stare seems to burn holes through the side of your head. 

“Wow, thanks,” you mumble. The sardonic quip tastes funny coming off your tongue.

“You were off today,” May reiterates, sidestepping your wisecrack entirely. Her footsteps are soundless even as the soles of your beat-up Air Force Ones slap the tread audibly with every stride. “That doesn’t happen often.”

“Sure it does.” You shrug. “You kicked my ass today, same as always. If you ask me—” You hesitate briefly at the look on May’s face, which is plainly screaming ‘I didn’t’ “—today’s been anything but out of the ordinary.” 

“You’re a terrible liar,” May remarks without missing a beat. It’s like she didn’t even hear you (which you damn well know that she did). 

Still, you don’t do her the disservice of arguing the point any further. 

You walk another ten paces in perfect silence—no, twelve. You know because you count each one. 

Unsurprisingly, you’re first to break the immersive quiet. “I think I want to tell Daisy.”

May’s impartial expression doesn’t change. “About?”

You almost roll your eyes, but manage to curb the impulse at the very last second. “You know what about.”

Hell, May was the first person you told. You came to her quarters hyperventilating in the dead of night, tears streaming down both cheeks and a sense of such deep-seated discomfort swelling in your chest, your ribs positively ached with the force of it.

“I want to hear you say it.”

You bite your lower lip, apprehension gnawing at your insides. “About…” You trail off, internally scolding yourself. This shouldn’t be so fucking hard. “About me being… non-binary.” 

Non-binary. 

What a flimsy little term. So matter-of-fact… almost scientific in nature. And yet, the way it affects you is nothing short of visceral—all-encompassing and monstrous, compressing your very lungs in an iron-clad vice until it’s agony to draw breath. 

It hurts, it hurts, it hurts ; voicing this simple reality that’s plagued you since you were very small, looming malignantly in the margins of everything you do… and yet, the truth of it rings keen and strong in your ears—clear as a bell.  

It’s liberating and frightful all in one; a grating juxtaposition, to be clear.

“Yes.” The sound of May’s uncharacteristically gentle intonation cuts clean through the blaring noise in your head, yanking you out from a sea of inner turmoil with startling decision. “I’m proud of you.”

Her words—gently-spoken as they may be—hit you like consecutive sucker punches to the gut. “What?” you choke, forcing out a breathless chuckle. 

May—predictably—is staunch, unyielding… wholly undeterred. “You’re being true to yourself,” she insists, matching you step for step as you start in on lap two. Your chest burns something awful and your legs aren’t much better, but you pay it little mind. “That’s no small thing.”

“It’s terrifying,” you tell her. As far as you’re concerned, that’s something of an understatement.

She nods. “It often is.”

“What if… What if I tell her and she doesn’t like me anymore?”

May raises a single brow. “Daisy, a known bisexual who has stated on more than one occasion that the gender binary is ‘stupid’ and ‘exclusionary’? Daisy, who’s been on dates with more than one openly non-binary person in the past?”

“Well, when you put it like that…” 

May—bless her heart—doesn’t snort or sigh or roll her eyes, but you can tell it’s not for lack of wanting. Instead, she merely slants you a pointed look that says, ‘Exactly.’

You walk the next six strides in silence, your feet aching in your shoes.  

“I’m going to tell her,” you say eventually, a tinge of cautious certainty creeping into your tone. You don’t know who you’re trying to convince—yourself, or May. 

All the same, May is nothing if not steady and dependable amidst stormy seas; she always knows just what to say. (Or, what not to say, as it were.) 

There are no tears, no hugs, no flowery platitudes… nothing but a sharp nod of approval and the barest hint of a grin curving her lips, like she sees you for who you are and she approves—like she’s proud, even. You don’t know how else to translate the tender mercy in her eyes, the way it seems to warm you from the inside out. 

Yeah, you can tell Daisy. 

You’re going to tell Daisy. 

And May’s gonna be right there beside you the whole time.

— —

In retrospect, you definitely could’ve gone about this better. 

Like, you weren’t exactly going for the kind of heartfelt reconciliation you’d see in some coming-of-age sap-fest movie on the big screen; and it’s not as though there’s an exact script to follow for all this, but… 

Pulling away from a decidedly heated kiss to blurt out, “I’m not a woman”—and doing so while you’re half-naked and straddling the lap of a similarly scantily-clad Daisy in bed, no less—definitely hadn’t been your first choice. 

Judging by the expression on Daisy’s pretty features—which is caught somewhere between taken aback and genuinely concerned—she’s coming to the same conclusion.  

To her credit, though, she recovers quickly—though the crease between her brows (a testament to her lingering bewilderment) remains. “What?”

You swallow thickly, carding your fingers through her tousled hair—a nervous habit of yours you’d developed as of late. “I’m…” You sigh, apprehension building in your chest. “I’m not a woman.”

Daisy’s brows raise marginally even as she offers a shallow nod, wide attentive eyes steadfastly holding yours. “Okay…” she begins gently, rubbing circles into the bare skin above your left hipbone with a callused thumb—a subtle nudge for you to continue. 

“I just—I don’t feel like a woman,” you say, and this time it’s easier, even if the sheer measure of honesty in that statement is enough to make your stomach turn. “And I don’t feel like a man, either.”

Understanding flares in Daisy’s pretty brown eyes. “Okay,” she says again. “So, you’re not a woman…” She pauses, dipping her head to place a feather-light kiss upon your shoulder. “And you’re not a man,” she continues, lifting her jaw to study you face-to-face, the tip of her pert nose brushing up against your own. “Which means… ?”

“I’m, um,” you squirm a bit, shifting atop her bare thighs, “... non-binary.” Your cheeks are hot, burning with shame, and you have never been so grateful that your skin is tawny enough to conceal it. 

Daisy doesn’t blink. “Okay,” she replies, then leans forth to place a barely-there peck atop your lips. 

You frown down at her, lips tingling. “‘Okay’?” you repeat.  

Daisy grins, leaning in for another kiss—and you’re all too quick to indulge her even as your thoughts spin and disbelief wars violently with consternation within your chest. 

Her lips are soft and warm against your own; when her tongue flits out to trace your lips, you’re parting them in an instant to meet her halfway; the sensation of kissing her is nothing short of euphoric, and you surrender willfully unto it like leaves in the brisk autumn wind. 

Seconds pass, or maybe it’s minutes, but she’s catching your lower lip between her teeth and you’re sucking on the tip of her tongue and— 

Quite suddenly, the kiss has become nothing short of filthy—all open-mouthed and desperate and bruising just how you like, and damn it all, but you can finish the rest of the conversation another time.

For now… well. You’re preoccupied with other things.  

— — 

(Later that night, when you’re both laid up in bed and drifting off to sleep, Daisy asks if you’d like her to start referring to you as ‘they’ and ‘them’ rather than ‘she’ and ‘her.��

When you answer in the affirmative, telling her that nothing would make you happier, the sheer measure of honesty in your words doesn’t feel nearly as nauseating as it did before. 

In fact, it’s rather the opposite.

The way Daisy reacts—a murmured, “Okay”; a feather-light kiss upon your forehead; two strong arms pulling you closer in the dark… well. That’s just icing on the cake. 

Despite everything—the self-doubt, the second guessing, the aching soreness settling into the very marrow of your bones—you feel yourself break out into a broad grin beneath the pitch-dark cover of night.

You feel good; comfortable in your own skin. You feel… happy.)

— —

end notes: i want melinda may to be my friend.

LINK TO MASTERLIST

[sharkbait77]

The Singer (Marcus Pike x f!reader)

Chapter Three

Warnings: Mention of food/alcohol, language, pure fluffy fluffiness (I'm such a softie I'm sorry 😭)

W/C: 4.2k

A/N: Notes at the bottom! And I'm running out of gifs to use of scruffy faced Marcus. I'm gonna have to shave him soon 👀 I hope you enjoy our soft boi in this chapter! 🥰

Just as a reference if you need help understanding the different formats:

«Phone conversation on their end»

Thoughts

Text messages

Song mentioned:

Chapter Two | Chapter Four

The Singer Masterlist

Gif by me! Yes it's Teresa but it still fits & I only care that it's his hand lol

«Oh my god, I'm melting!» Celina yells in her phone enthusiastically. You giggle as you wait for her eagerness to calm down.

You had barely taken your shoes and jacket off after getting inside your apartment when you immediately dialed up Celina's number to tell her about the night. You feel like you're having an out of body experience. Sure, your heart is still guarded and unfortunately, you'll most likely have your doubts throughout the relationship, but you truly feel like this could go somewhere. You want to give yourself that chance and allow Marcus to help heal your heart, maybe doing the same for him in return.

"So he's picking me up on Saturday and I'm freaking out a little," you say and chew on the skin around your nail beds.

«Why? Don't be! Just treat it like how you did tonight!» She encourages.

"But it's a legitimate date this time, I have to do my hair and makeup perfectly and find the perfect outfit and-"

«Girl, have you seen your closet? You have nothing but perfect outfits!» She teases and you chuckle, lowering your fingers from your mouth.

«You don't need to try to be perfect hun, just be yourself! Be the girl he has already seen in front of him.» You smile at her heartfelt words. «I bet he's already in love with you!»

"Okay, you're not helping!" You laugh, placing your hand on your forehead. "I'll talk to you later, I'm going to try and get some sleep. I'll probably be calling you on Saturday so I can freak out some more."

You say your goodbyes and hang up, sinking yourself into your couch and smiling widely. Your head is buzzing from a sugar rush, but you can't tell if it's because of the pancakes or because of Marcus. You walk to the kitchen to make some sleepytime tea, hoping it'll relax your nerves enough for you to get some shut eye.

* * * *

You take a shower and climb into your comfy pajamas and the tea works its magic as you relax on your plush bed, surrounding yourself with pillows and your soft blanket enveloping you in warmth. Your eyes get heavy and you feel yourself on the brink of sleep when you hear your phone vibrate on the nightstand. You try to ignore it, but it vibrates again and you figure it's Celina probably sending you a funny video. Your curiosity gets the better of you and you reach over to grab your phone, the brightness from the screen stinging your eyes from the time they had adjusted to the darkness. You blink a few times until you can see the screen clearly.

555-9057: Hi Dulce :)

555-9057: Made it home. I had a great time :)

You bite your lip and smile at the messages on your lock screen, heat flashing through your head seeing him call you the nickname you gave yourself in his phone. And just like that, you're wide awake again. You unlock your phone and before you can type a reply, he sends another message.

555-9057: It's Marcus btw

Marcus groans to himself as he sends that last message. What the hell was that? Of course she knows it's you. Dumbass. He watches the screen and holds his breath when he sees the text bubbles pop up and he waits nervously for your reply.

Dulce💋: I'm glad you specified! Right after you dropped me off another guy took me out for dulce de leche pancakes and I also penned myself as Dulce in his phone 🤭

He chuckles out loud in the quiet atmosphere of his apartment, the sound bouncing against the walls and reverberating around the living room. Damn, she's good.

555-9057: Okay okay you got me, don't have to be so mean :P

So he's a classic emoji kind of guy, you smile as you make a note and file it in the little 'Marcus Pike' folder in your brain. You hit his phone number and tap the plus symbol to make a new contact in your phone. For some reason, you find yourself struggling as you try to figure out what to put his contact name as.

Agent Cutie

Nope, delete.

Agent Pike

What are you, his secretary? Delete delete.

Marcus

Should I put an emoji? Which one? Can't be a heart. You are seriously overthinking this.

Marcus Pike

Yeah, okay. I guess.

Me: Why did it take so long to get home? Do you live far?

Marcus Pike: It was about 30 min from your place :) not too bad

Thirty minutes?! Great, now I feel bad.

Dulce💋: Wth if I had known I wouldn't have let you drop me off! 🙄

Me: Don't worry about it! I was more than happy to ;)

Shit shit shit I didn't mean the wink! Why are they right next to each other?! Do I say something? Oh god, way to go, you ruined it.

Dulce💋: Then I'll give you gas money!

Marcus takes a breath of relief when he sees that you sidestepped his accidental wink emoji. After he catches his breath, his phone chimes again.

Dulce💋: And I won't take no for an answer 😉

Okay, there's no way she sent that by accident. Is she flirting with me? Do I flirt back? Why are my hands so sweaty?

Dulce💋: It's time for bed, those pancakes made me sleepy 😴 good night Marcus ☺️ See you Saturday!

Marcus smiles to himself and he anticipates seeing you on Saturday. He sends you another text and walks to his restroom to take a quick shower before climbing in bed.

Marcus Pike: Can't wait :) good night!

There's no way you can sleep now, but you said good night for his sake; he had a long day at work, plus he took you out and then had a long drive home. You know he must be tired. Your heart races as you scroll through your short text conversation, rereading the messages and giggling softly.

Did he mean to wink? It was probably an accident, considering he types out emojis instead of using the newer, more convenient ones. You just couldn't help but send one back, though; hiding behind the screen helped you to flirt openly with him. You roll onto your side to face the TV on your dresser, turning on a true crime documentary and letting it eventually lull you to sleep.

* * * *

Saturday comes around quickly, much to your delight, but as you wander around your room looking at the many outfits you laid out on your bed, your dresser, even on your couch, the nerves set in fast. You pray to whoever’s listening that you don’t seize up when Marcus picks you up. Which is in fifteen minutes. You already have your hair and makeup done, all you need is to pick an outfit. Simple in theory. Just pick one! You chew your lip nervously out of habit before stopping as soon as you realize you probably just messed up the red lipstick you had applied earlier.

You rush to the bathroom mirror and sure enough, there's a bare spot on your bottom lip and the lipstick has transferred to your front teeth. You groan in frustration and grab a makeup wipe to carefully remove the ruined lipstick and you brush your teeth again until it's all gone. You reapply the same shade of red, pleasantly surprised with yourself that it came out better than the first time. You take a deep breath and try to calm down, telling yourself that the first outfit you land your eyes on will be the one you wear. You count down from three in your head and enter your bedroom.

Okay, maybe not that one. You decide to close your eyes and try again. When you open your eyes, they land on a different outfit. Not that one either. You sigh harshly through your nose. Why is this so hard? You walk over to your nearly empty closet for the umpteenth time and your eyes catch on to a dress hidden in the corner that you had surprisingly missed before. This one.

It's a spaghetti strapped, black, bodycon dress with a lace overlay, flowers printed on the fabric throughout. It hugs your body in all the right places, reaching down to your knees, and you take a look in the floor length mirror next to your dresser as you put on your black, open-toed heels, smiling brightly as you feel confidence shooting through your veins.

Adrenaline gets mixed in as soon as you hear a knock on your door. Five on the dot. You grab your black cardigan and purse off the couch and open the door, your breath taken away by the handsome man in front of you. He's carrying a box of chocolates and it fumbles in his hands, nearly falling once his wide eyes see you. He looks at you from head to toe, making your heart race as you feel heat rushing over your body in line with his gaze and you shift your weight from side to side anxiously.

"Wow," he says breathlessly, unable to say anything afterwards.

"Wow yourself," you smile, looking over his own outfit: a navy blue suit and a black, button up shirt underneath, paired with black dress shoes. He slicked his hair back and cleaned up his beard slightly. He really is a gorgeous man.

"Uh," he stutters and glances to the box in his unknowingly tight grasp. "These are for you," he smiles shyly as he hands you the chocolates.

"Thank you," you say, giggling at the indents his fingers made on the sides of the box and you turn around to leave them on your entryway table.

You turn back to face him and see his eyes look up quickly and you wonder if you just caught him staring at your bottom. Your suspicion is confirmed when his cheeks flush pink. You laugh softly and he holds his arm out to you.

"Ready?" He asks and you can hear the nervousness in his voice.

You nod and link your arm in his, letting him help you down the stairs. You're starting to love the way his arm hugs yours as you walk and the warmth of his body mixing with yours. Your footsteps even sync up together in a slow cadence. He walks you to his car, letting you hold your weight with his arm as you slowly lower in the seat, your movement restricted by your tight dress and high heels.

You thank him once you're seated, buckling your seatbelt, and he walks to his side, sitting down and starting the car. You notice the radio is on this time, playing at a low volume, and you think to yourself that he probably only forgot to turn it on last time.

The aura is tense in the car, both of your nervous energies dancing in the air together to the music. You try to think of something to say, resorting to looking through your mental file of basic conversation starters. The weather? No, too basic. Say something about the music. No-

"You look really beautiful," Marcus finally breaks the silence. Your head snaps up to look in his direction and you share a smile, thanking him and returning the compliment.

He takes his eyes off the road for a couple of seconds to look at you with a soft smile and turns his attention back to driving straight. He would keep his eyes on you if he could, but he'd rather not get into a car accident and ruin the night. So he just waits patiently until the next moment he can steal a glance. He takes a peek at you while you're stuck at a red light and he sees you picking at your cuticles nervously. He rubs his clammy palm on his pant leg, hoping to dry up any sweat present as much as possible. Before he can think twice about it, he reaches his hand over to grab yours.

Your heart jumps in your throat from the action and you look down in shock at his large hand covering yours completely. The blood rushes to your cheeks; his hand is rough from work, but soft and gentle enough that it's not uncomfortable. And warm. So warm. You stop picking your cuticles immediately, now memorizing the fine wrinkles in his hand and the ridges on his knuckles.

"Are you okay?" He asks, not moving his hand from your lap as he starts driving again.

"Yeah," your voice makes an embarrassing harmony, splitting in two different octaves from disuse. You swallow some saliva to lubricate your vocal cords and try speaking again.

"I'm just a little nervous," you admit.

His hand is still resting on top of yours; you're not sure if you should open your hand up to face your palms together and hold his hand as well. Alas, you take too long to make a decision and he pulls his hand away to grasp the steering wheel, bracing for a left turn.

"Please don't be nervous," he smiles with his pearly white teeth and it only makes you more nervous. How is he this handsome?

"It's just me," he adds as he pulls up to the restaurant, putting the car in park and removing the key from the ignition.

"'Just you'?" You quote him inquisitively. He nods and you shake your head with a small chuckle.

"What?" He chuckles with you.

"It's not 'just you' though, is it?" You reply softly.

You wonder if he's uncertain of himself and his ability to make women — i.e. you — weak in the knees. He seems oblivious to it and it makes him all the more charming to you. You see his eyebrows furrow and before he can ask what you mean, you turn to open the car door.

"Wait," he tells you, rushing out of his seat and over to you to help you out.

You wanted to manage it yourself, but you know you must look ridiculous with how bad you're struggling to get out of the car. He chuckles at the sight once he's on your side and he holds his arm out. You hold onto his forearm tightly and pull yourself upward as he lifts you as well until you're firmly planted on your feet.

"Maybe this dress wasn't a good idea after all," you giggle.

"I think it was," he flirts and you look away as you smile shyly.

You walk together up the steps to the front of the restaurant and Marcus apologizes for not warning you about the stairs. You tell him not to worry and though you can feel the ache in the arches and heels of your feet, you don't complain. He holds the door open for you and you walk in, your eyes instantly catching on the glimmering, crystal chandelier hanging in the waiting area. The lights are dimmed in an amber glow and there are pillars with intricate carvings and vines wrapped around the stone throughout the entirety of the establishment.

You gasp to yourself; this place must be expensive. How did you go from pancakes at grandma's house to a fancy, Italian restaurant like this? Your ears catch the sounds of a violin, but it's too close to just be playing from a speaker. Sure enough, you look further into the restaurant and see a man in a suit playing a violin. A live violinist?! Marcus joins your side again and notices the look of astonishment on your face.

"What's wrong?" He asks and you jerk your head to look at him, not even realizing he was standing next to you.

"Marcus, this looks like it's going to be really expensive."

You whisper in his ear so you don't offend any of the staff members and the height from your heels allows you to reach his head a little better now. The hot breath from your mouth tickles his ear and a bolt of arousal shoots down his spine. He laughs it off and leans his mouth to your ear in return.

"I like to make a fuss," he says, the deep tone of his voice giving you goosebumps. "Don't worry about it," he says in his normal tone as he stands up straight again.

The maître d' greets you two as you walk up to the host stand and Marcus gives the man his name for the reservation. The maître d' informs Marcus the table is not quite ready yet, adding that you're welcome to wait at the bar. Marcus looks at you to get your opinion; you say yes and Marcus lightly places his hand on the middle of your back, guiding you as you walk over to the bar top together. You take a seat in the soft barstool; it's easier to sit on since it's basically at standing height. Marcus removes his hand from your back to take a seat, his fingers gliding against the delicate lace of your dress across your spine and you shudder. Thankfully, it goes unnoticed.

The back of the bar is riddled with an assortment of different liquors, both American and Italian, and they're resting on lit up shelves. You look at the drink menu and your mouth opens in horror at the prices listed. This is definitely too much money. The bartender comes your way and Marcus orders a campari and grapefruit juice, immersing himself fully in the Italian culture. You say you'll stick with water and excuse it as you not feeling like drinking tonight. Marcus doesn't question it further.

The two of you comment on the decor of the restaurant, mainly the paintings hanging on the walls, and you mention that you love the lilies resting in the painted, ceramic vases and Marcus takes note of that fact. A waitress walks up to you and Marcus to let you know your table is ready and he finishes the last of his drink and stands, offering you his hand this time instead of his arm. You smile as you take it, your heart thumping in your chest as you let him guide you while you both follow the waitress.

The restaurant is bustling; heavy sounds of conversation and cutlery clinking on plates as you walk through what seems the entirety of the restaurant until the waitress leads you to a small, private patio. A round table is seated there, covered by a red tablecloth and adorned with a single, tall candlestick, burning a light glow. There's a cylindrical basket full of bread sticks and two water glasses, condensation running along the sides and onto the cloth. Marcus pulls your chair out for you, helping you to sit and scooting you in and sits down across from you. You hang your cardigan and purse on the back of your chair and take the menu the waitress is holding out to you.

You both thank her and she leaves, stating she'll be back soon to take your order. You marvel at the privacy Marcus planned for you two and you take a sip of your ice cold water, reveling in the relief washing through your dry throat. You flip open your menu; the options are minimal and are all expensive. You immediately scan for the cheapest dish: a $30 plate of chicken cacciatore. You feel guilty; you never want Marcus to break his bank trying to take you on a date. You glance at him and wonder why he would do all of this just for you. Did he really think you were that special?

You find yourself missing that little pancake diner and the time you shared there. There, you only felt the budding emotions consistent with a high school crush, but in this moment now, it's real life and mature adult feelings and you feel it much stronger in this environment. Marcus senses your mood change and leans forward to ask if you're okay, but he's interrupted by the waitress. You order the 'cheap' chicken cacciatore and he orders the tajarin al tartufo. Whatever that is.

"Why did you order the cheapest dish?" Marcus asks once the waitress leaves.

"Because I wanted to," you give him a sly smile to convince him otherwise, but he sees right through you, giving you a look of disbelief. You sigh.

"Because Marcus, it's too much money," you say sadly. "I mean, how much was it to get this private patio set up?"

"That's not important to me," he shakes his head. "This is our first proper date and I wanted to make it special."

Damn it. Why is he so thoughtful? And so damn cute?

"It's not that I don't appreciate it, I'm blown away by this, but I'm just... I'm not used to it," you pull your lips into your mouth slightly, mindful of your lipstick.

"Is that why you didn't order a drink?" He asks. You give him a lopsided frown and shrug your shoulders, your expression answering him instead of your words. He sighs and tilts his head to the side.

"I don't want you to worry about how much everything costs when you're with me; let me spoil you. You deserve it."

Let me spoil you. You deserve it. His words float around in your head, your eyes filling with fondness at the thought. You didn't think you deserved to be spoiled; your ex made sure of that much. It's exhilarating to say the least; this man you barely know ready to do anything for you at any time. But you like it, and you think in time, you could learn to love it. Learn to love him. You blink wildly and you inconspicuously shake your head at that last thought.

It was definitely way too soon to be thinking like that and it scared you that it entered your mind at all. It must be the ambiance of the restaurant. You think about how you should protect yourself in case this takes a wrong turn and you debate on placing that in the priority spot in your mind. Marcus can see you fighting your own thoughts and he tries to lighten the mood.

"I also might be trying to impress you for real now," he smiles.

You chuckle and shake your head. Marcus thinks to himself how beautiful you look under the moonlight that's shining through the glass awning above your heads, face lit up by the glowing candle. He can't stop his mouth from saying what he wants to say, not in this romantic atmosphere.

"I think you're a wonderful, beautiful woman and... I really like you," he adds, reaching across the table for your hand and you let him hold it, tangling your fingers with his.

You're positive he can feel your pulse through your fingers or hear your heart pounding, the blood whooshing in your ears muffling any other sounds from coming in. As much as you want to protect yourself, the look in his eyes only draws you in and you can't hide the truth from him or yourself, your confession spoken out loud for the first time for you both.

"I like you, too, Marcus." He smiles happily at you.

There must be something in the water here.

"Do you think it would be okay to keep this up?" He asks, meaning the dates, and you can't stop your head from nodding yes and you give him a sweet smile.

Marcus lets go of your hand, letting his rest in front of him and you take a deep breath, trying to shake your nerves from the exchange that just took place between you. You grab a bread stick and attempt to take a small bite; you and Marcus laugh together as your small bite accidentally turns into a big one, the stick breaking in the wrong place and leaving a large chunk of bread hanging from your mouth. Of course, leave it to something awkward happening to you to break the tension. But anything to see his face come together in joyous laughter.

* * * *

"Thank you again Marcus, that was actually very delicious," you say while Marcus begins the drive back to your apartment. "I see why it was so expensive." He hums in agreement; his smile hasn't left his face since the restaurant.

You listen closely to the new song that comes on the radio, trying to make out the tune until it gets louder and you realize it's "At Last" by Etta James.

"I love this song," you say under your breath. Marcus hears you and turns up the volume slightly, earning a bright smile from you. You look back out the window and sing the lyrics softly.

At last, my love has come along,

My lonely days are over

And life is like a song.

Marcus's heart races as he listens to the lyrics being sung by you and they hit a little too close to his heart. You don't realize at first the meaning behind them, only enjoying singing along.

At last, the skies above are blue

My heart was wrapped up in clover,

The night I looked at you.

You now realize the words are identical to how you feel. You wonder if you're falling too fast for Marcus. This was only your second date and there is still so much to learn about each other. You have a whole past to open up about, which will be a defining moment for your relationship. But as you look over at Marcus and you feel the tender organ in your chest beating fast, you think to yourself that it can't get much better than this. What's the harm in trying?

Chapter Two | Chapter Four

The Singer Masterlist

A/N: Okay just wanted to explain what Marcus ordered if you're interested! *DESCRIPTION OF FOOD/ALCOHOL COMING UP* I'm not an expert so correct me if I'm wrong! According to Google:

Campari is an Italian bitters made of fruit & herbs & you usually mix it with juice or club soda (hardcore Italians drink it straight up) & it's a pre-meal drink

Tajarin al tartufo is an egg pasta, made with more egg whites than traditional egg pastas, & topped with white truffle. Idk it sounded fancy & expensive 😂

Also, here's their outfit inspos! Just a couple of things I described differently like his shirt being black & her dress having lace instead of mesh.

Ofc Marcus in this suit 🥵 I copied the description lol

TAG LIST:

@hnt-escape @winter-fox-queen @giselatropicana

[buckysmischief]

they think my lover is strange

Loki x reader, soulmate au

Word Count: 1.4k

Summary: No wonder you didn’t find your soulmate sooner, he’s a damn god who lived in outer space.

Warnings: language, expected levels of angst topped with the right amount of fluff

AN: This is too late but it’s for @honeyvbarnes ‘s birthday challenge! I chose a soulmate au & this is my first attempt at one. I know she’s on a break but she knows it’s being uploaded and I REALLY HOPE YOU LOVE IT VI! // I listened to a lot of Halsey while writing this, this is a lil inspired :)

Masterlist

Even in a world where soulmates exist, almost ruling out any unnecessary heartbreak, you still had to work for it. Who said it was easier, anyways? Whose bright idea was it to have your soulmates name show up on your wrist? And just to make things more complicated, it wasn’t always their first name. See, fate was a funny thing.

About a year after you’re born a name would show up on your wrist, obviously the name of your soulmate, and when you found each other the letters would change from black to a new, random color. Half would get the others' first name beautifully displayed on their skin, and while that’s still pretty difficult, it wasn’t as confusing as having your soulmate's last name on you.

It was easy to find out someone’s first name, you just introduce yourself and if that’s your person, then BOOM instant love. But if you have their last name on your wrist, it wasn’t that easy. Not many people were interested in giving out their whole name to a stranger who will most likely not be their soulmate. You, unfortunately, were among the half with a .

Odinson. What kind of a name is that anyway?

You used to think that it could be easy to find your soulmate, all you’d have to do it Google the name. But when you didn’t find anything you could actually go on, you decided it was best to just let fate do its thing. Maybe taking a year to travel the world, because that’s definitely not an american name, could have been seen as taking the wheel, but you were no closer than you were before.

After college you took a job at Stark Industries working with Tony himself as his personal lab assistant. Not only did Tony give you permission to work on whatever you wanted in your free time, but it also allowed you to meet all kinds of people without having to disrupt your routine. There was no way whoever this Odinson is is a normal person, it was something you’ve always been so sure about but never could explain it to others. It wasn’t until the day after the battle of New York did you find out just how right you were.

You got a call from Tony saying you had the rest of the week off but you elected to ignore him. No way you were turning down uninterrupted lab time. Once you got into the lab you couldn’t help but notice the alien weaponry on Tony’s side, what was he planning on doing with all of it? He’d likely ask you to assist, so you’d find out eventually. You finally got to your desk and started organizing your notes and important documents.

Hours had passed and you didn’t even realize it. So when you turned around to found a strange muscular man studying you, you freaked the fuck out. “Oh my GOD you can’t just do that! Who are you!?” you yelled at the stranger.

His demeanor never changed, “My name is Thor O-” he stopped himself. “I’m a friend of Stark.”

He wasn’t meant to bring Loki back for another day or so, Tony wanted to ask some questions and run a few tests, all which Thor agreed to. So while Tony was attempting to know Loki better, he decided he’d explore the tower. What he didn’t expect to find was to see you through the glass, reading so intently he was positive you never blinked. If anyone asked him why he originally felt compelled to talk to you, he’d tell them he was just following his gut. But when he was coming up behind you, he saw your soulmark. His name.

Only a few minutes had passed while he thought of what to do. He didn’t think for a second that he was your soulmate, he knew he wasn’t - after meeting Jane the year before both of their soulmarks turned deep red. Which could only mean one thing, you were Loki’s. He tried to recall a memory where he saw the name that belonged to his brother, but it didn’t exist. By the time Thor paid attention to those kinds of things, Loki used his magic to cover his mark.

He was just about to announce himself when you turned around and screamed. When you asked his name, he caught himself before he gave you false hope. No, he wanted you and Loki to share that moment. The moment where you told him your name and all of his walls fall, a moment that has nothing to do with being the God of Mischief or the brother of Thor. After he found out the truth behind Loki’s attack, he hoped finding you would change him into the man he was meant to be. Otherwise, why wouldn’t it read Laufeyson?

“Oh, I’m sorry.” you stood up to shake his hand. “My name is Yn, I’m Tony’s personal- wait, you fought alongside Tony right? What the hell was all that!?”

Thor thought about giving you details about his heroics against an alien army, but he had a better idea. “I have someone I want you to meet, he can explain it better.”

You followed him to the elevator and took it to the underground levels, to the floor where Tony tests some of his inventions. When the doors opened, you noticed Tony sitting in front of a man inside of a glass box, which you’d eventually learn was an Asguardian cell. If you worked anywhere else, you’d be concerned, but you trusted Tony and his process.

“Ah, Yn, you found Thor. Why am I not surprised?” he laughed, eyes never leaving the man in the chair. So when he noticed Loki’s eyes land on you after he said your name, he got curious. “Hey, Yn. This is Loki, he’s as interesting as they come. Ask him something, see if he answers for you.”

“Mmm,” you didn’t have to ask the obvious, he was obviously behind the attack. Asking him why would be smart, but this guys not from here, and you could ask him anything. “Why’d you do it.”

His eyes never left yours, and you didn’t know how that made you feel until he spoke for the first time. He smirked, “That’s not what you’re interested in, now is it, love? Ask me the question you really want, I promise it’ll be worth it.”

“What’s-” you cut yourself off. “If Loki is your first name… what’s, what’s your last name…?”

Thor and Tony didn’t miss the way you had begun to gravitate to the younger god, now close enough to touch the glass. He put his left arm against the glass, magic disappearing to show your name as he answered, “Odinson. My name is Loki Odinson.”

“Hi,” you whisper. “I’m Yn.”

Never did you think your soulmate would be anything like the man standing in front of you, he was beyond everything you knew to be possible. You spent the whole night down there getting to know him, and when Tony came in the next morning to find you both asleep next to each other with only the glass separating you, he wasn’t surprised. It still took Thor hours to convince him to let Loki out of the cell, but he did. Under the condition that the two of you were not to be alone.

When Thor opened the door, Loki took a second to thank him, that’s all the time he had before you were pulling him close to you. He picked you up and effortlessly wrapped you around him, only wishing to hold you close and breath in your scent. “I was beginning to believe I’d never find you, my love.”

“Well you did, and you brought an army.” you laugh into the crook of his neck. “My soulmate’s a big dummy.”

Thor didn’t expect Loki to be offended by the comment, not from you. No, he expected his brother to pretend to be offended, but instead laughter filled his ears. Genuine, heartfelt laughter he hadn’t heard from his brother since they were young.

He put you back down and cupped your face, “It seems you’re right, Yn.” Before you fully registered what he had said, his lips were on yours, kissing you like he needed you to breathe. Much to your disappointment, though, Loki pulled away, looking at you as if you hung each star in the galaxy.

“So, love, how do you feel about being a Queen?”

Permanent tags: @sociallyeneptbarnes @rogvewitch @saturn-aka-six @stuckonjbbarnes @superavengerpotterstar @estillion14 @sleepingspacedragon @geeksareunique @infj-slytherclaw @imsoft-barnes @piper-koko-barnes-rogers @murdermornings @distractedgemini @screaming-fridge @readeity @whatinthyworld @my-drowning-in-time @valkyriesryde @sebbbystaaan @disaffectedbarnes @buggy-blogs @hey-its-grey @pinknerdpanda @brokenthelovely @sandyclaws @death-unbecomes-you @rhymesmenagerie @actualdpshuri @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog @mushyjellybeans @https-bucky @also-fangirlinsweden @goalexis123 @missmeganrachel @sunflowersandcherry @miraclesoflove @matsumama

[chibikinesis]

WIP Draft | Untitled Modern AU smooch re-write 😂 2500+ Words

Light miscommunication / misunderstanding trope warning, but it’s not terribly drawn out, and it all ends well lmao

Music inspos: [ ♪ ] [ ♪ ]

Excerpt:

“I didn’t know that you… felt that way.” Jack very much anticipated the glare of annoyed disbelief that he was suddenly on the receiving end of as Edward dried his hands. “I know, I know, it sounds asinine. How could I not? But I told you before it’s been at least ten years since the last time I was in… any kind of relationship. And even then, I never was any good at picking up on that sort of thing. Dare I say it’s probably part of the reason none of those ever worked out. Let alone my fear of being open about… all of that. About who I really am.”

He wanted to say more - that most of those relationships were naive and half-assed and touch-and-go, and that what he’d come to feel for Edward was so very different and genuine and heartfelt in comparison, and something he wasn’t sure he’d ever really experienced before - but he didn’t want to play all of his cards just yet.

Jack pressed the brake at the entry of the increasingly familiar gravel drive, pausing to reconsider what he was about to do, and whether or not he really wanted to follow through with it. He was feeling some messy amalgamation of irritated, ashamed, and hopeful, and he honestly couldn’t settle on any particular one. He only hoped he hadn’t ruined his chance after a messy misunderstanding the weekend prior. At least now he knew why the man was keeping his distance. Frustrated, if not a little anxious, he squeezed the steering wheel and takes a deep breath. If not now, when? Just do it.

Not without some hesitation, he resumed his drive down the gravel path before him. It wasn’t his first time driving to Edward’s place, but it was usually earlier in the day when he did, thus a little easier to find along the forested road. But he quickly recalled the man telling him before - It’s easy. Turn down the drive. Fourth house on the right. And soon enough, his eyes discerned the small house - and the vehicle - he was looking for. He pulled up behind the SUV and parked, again giving pause before stepping out of his car.

If the metallic noises and the yammering radio weren’t already indication enough, the light spilling out of the open garage was a good indicator as to where Jack might find just who he was looking for. He treaded slowly, nervously. He had no doubt Edward had already heard him pull up and park, but it didn’t settle the anxiety pangs the anticipation was giving him. The song that was playing on the man’s radio certainly wasn’t helping his predicament, either; some cover of Voices Carry, and one of those little moments where it feels like the universe is making some kind of joke at your expense. He didn’t find it very funny, though. Swallowing against the lump in his throat, he shook the thoughts off, and stepped forth into the block of light that spilled from the garage.

As predicted, he found Edward inside, sitting on some makeshift milk crate stool next to his bike, grease smudged on his hands and forearms as he adjusted something with a wrench. And, also as predicted, Edward met his gaze almost instantly. His face shifted from surprised, to annoyed, to something akin to embarrassed before he lowered his eyes and turned away. “Hey.”

Jack’s nerves suddenly took a back seat to a newfound irritation as an offended scoff almost escaped his lips - this man has the gall to ignore him all week, to worry him enough for him to drive all the way out here to see him, just to be greeted with a chilly ‘hey’’?! - but he restrained himself. No need to drive the wedge further. After all, he couldn’t really help but feel this was all just as much his own  fault for being so damn clueless.

“Glad to see that you’re alright.” He finally spoke, trying to choose his words carefully, but finding his mouth working faster than his brain. “Now if I may, why exactly have you been ignoring me all week?”

Edward glanced back up at him for a second before laughing to himself, and shifting his gaze back to the project in front of him.

“Well, after Saturday, I sorta’ got the impression I oughtta’ back off.” he didn’t look up, but the tone in his voice said what his eyes didn’t. “Guess I had the wrong idea. Thought it was a mutual thing, but I guess I thought wrong. Should’ve known better.”

Jack shook his head ever so slightly as he tried to process it. It was something along the lines of what he expected to hear - after the bombshell Daniel had dropped on him, and realizing that there had been so much flirting that he’d convinced himself was just really friendly banter over the last few months - but it still felt absolutely surreal as the words sunk in. He wanted to protest, he wanted to ask why, he wanted to say so many things, but he hardly knew where to start.

“You-… you don’t understand, Edward-”

“You pulled your hand away like you were absolutely repulsed.” Edward finally fessed up, double meaning in his tone as he rose to his feet and moved over to the sink to wash up. “No, I think I understand just fine.”

“No, you don’t understand.” Jack huffed, growing frustrated with the man’s uncharacteristic behavior. But it had finally dawned on him that Edward assumed it had something to do with his appearance - his scars. There wasn’t much that could really bother Edward, but that was the one thing that could get him up in arms. And he couldn’t have been more wrong in his assumptions. “I know this sounds absolutely ridiculous, but I… I didn’t know you were…”

Didn’t know you were bi? Didn’t know you were into me? Didn’t know you were coming onto me? He wasn’t really sure how to finish that sentence without sounding crass. He wrung his hands and sighed.

“I didn’t know that you… felt that way.” Jack very much anticipated the glare of annoyed disbelief that he was suddenly on the receiving end of as Edward dried his hands. “I know, I know, it sounds asinine. How could I not? But I told you before it’s been at least ten years since the last time I was in… any kind of relationship. And even then, I never was any good at picking up on that sort of thing. Dare I say it’s probably part of the reason none of those ever worked out. Let alone my fear of being open about… all of that. About who I really am.”

He wanted to say more - that most of those relationships were naive and half-assed and touch-and-go, and that what he’d come to feel for Edward was so very different and genuine and heartfelt in comparison, and something he wasn’t sure he’d ever really experienced before - but he didn’t want to play all of his cards just yet.

Relief washed over him as his words seemed to calm Edward down a bit - the man finished drying his hands and draped the towel over the edge of the utility sink, before leaning his weight against it and turning to face Jack. He huffed a resigned sigh, and folded his arms over his chest.

Jack breathed a small sigh of content and comfort at the sight - a sure sign he was beginning to yield. The slightest of smiles tugged at his lips for just a second before he continued to speak.

“And… after Daniel told me you were bi, everything started to make a lot more sense. I actually feel… incredibly dense for not realizing sooner.” Jack couldn’t stifle the chuckle that slipped out as he thought back on it. “I know it’s a habit I need to break, but I still just sort of assume people are straight by default. I just thought you were… excessively friendly. And maybe never really heeded to peoples’ personal bubbles. Looking back, you weren’t even very subtle about it, I’m just thick in the head.”

That even managed to rouse a small laugh from Edward, which brought a less subtle smile to Jack’s face before he cast his gaze down and continued.

“I mean, there was most certainly more than a handful of times I really wondered. I told myself that I was likely just reading too much into things and I…” His cheeks darkened a bit. “- I didn’t want to go getting my hopes up.”

Edward furrowed his brow, face growing warm as Jack’s words sunk in. His chest fluttered and his stomach flip-flopped involuntarily. “Then… I actually wasn’t wrong? About it being mutual?”

“No. Not at all.” Jack’s gaze skimmed up to meet his for a moment before shyly looking down at his fidgety hands again. “I’m… sorry for my knee-jerk reaction that night. I can understand why it upset you so much, looking back at it now, but I hope you can see that it wasn’t my intention at all.”

“Guess I oughtta’ apologize too. Hell, I feel more at fault here than you should.” Edward sighed, his arms still folded across his chest, but his shoulders notably more lax. “I’m not really proud of giving you the silent treatment this week, either. I know it’s not like me, and… you didn’t deserve that. It’s usually my rational brain in control, but I guess emotional brain took over. I’m sorry.”

Jack nods in acknowledgement and mumbles some semblance of a thank you, but something still nags at him. He knit his brow in contemplation.

“Why didn’t you…” he gave pause to consider his choice of words more carefully. “Edward, you should have said something.”

“Actually, that’s… sorta’ why I asked you to go with me that night.” Edward scoffed to himself. “Then I got cold feet. Fear of rejection, I guess.”

Fear of rejection, Jack mused, looking shamefully at the very hand that tried to grasp his own that night. The remaining pieces of the puzzle were falling into place. “- and then I pulled away.”

“… yeah.”

“Worried I’d turn you down, and I’ve… no doubt that’s exactly what it felt like.” Jack sighed, slowly treading further into the garage, and closer to Edward, until there were just a few feet left between them. “I can see why you got so bent out of shape.”

“Doesn’t make it any less shitty of me, though. It’s just… a sore spot.” Edward sighed, gesturing vaguely at his body. “You’re the only person since… this, who’s bothered -”

He stopped for a moment in hesitation, expression grown both nervous and regretful, and eyes darting around the room. He scoffed and glanced down at his feet, words dying on his lips before they got a chance to leave them. “- God, sorry, just… forget I said anything  -”

“No, go on if you want to.” Jack encouraged gently. Perhaps it was some of Edward’s positive influence at work. “Please. God knows I’ve dropped enough emotional baggage on you since we’ve grown close - so talk about it if you like. The least I can do is listen.”

Though he was a bit surprised by the offer, Edward considered it for a long moment, until he finally shrugged and sighed and dropped his arms to his sides. “This may or may not come as a surprise to you, but nobody’s exactly been linin’ up to get with me. And even when you know that you’re not the problem, it’d still get to anyone after a while. Enough that you just stop bothering. And when you finally meet someone you’re willing to go out on that limb for? To finally try again, and you think they feel the same…”

No doubt, feeling what he assumed was rejection must have really stung, Jack sighed to himself and his eyes softened a bit more. He got the impression that Edward wasn’t used to someone actually being willing to listen, but realized that just a few months ago, he himself would have probably been more dismissive as well. But to learn that he felt that way about himself created a dull ache in Jack’s chest. Edward was wonderful, for a whole laundry list of reasons, and anyone who couldn’t see that past his appearance, which there was absolutely nothing wrong with in the first place, Jack mused, was a damned fool.

“Look, after a while, it just… even if I know it’s not true, it really starts to feel like no one in their right mind would want to be with me.”

“You know…” Jack couldn’t resist the smile that crept its way into his features, and in spite of the burning in his cheeks, he took a step closer. If he didn’t know better, he’d have sworn his heart was about to leap out of his chest. “- there are a lot of folks who would probably say that I’m not in my right mind, so I suppose that works out.”

He slowly inched closer as he chuckled to himself, stepping well into Edward’s personal bubble, finally stopping just mere inches away.

“That’s not to say they’re right, mind you. Just that it will fit the narrative.” He joked - an attempt to lighten the mood a bit, to treat any minor wounds that remark may have caused, but Edward was a bit too preoccupied with their close proximity to laugh, or even indulge another thought.

Jack’s chuckle settled to a nervous smile as his hands reached up, tremulous and shy, to take Edward’s face between them - his right thumb caressing the scarred flesh beneath it. He felt the man give the slightest start at the initial contact, before relaxing into the gesture and softening his gaze.

Shifting half of his weight to his toes, and pulling Edward closer, he finally closed the gap between them with a gentle, inviting kiss, that was just barely returned. He pulled back and broke away, looking back at him both nervously and expectantly, shaky hands still cupping his cheeks as he waited for some sort of response.

He didn’t expect to see such outright surprise on Edward’s face - what happened to ‘a mutual thing?’ Jack fussed internally, his brow furrowing in slight frustration and impatience. This wasn’t going nearly as smoothly as he’d imagined - and hoped - it would.

“What, nothing? No reaction? Nothing to say?” He asked, a small panic surging through him as he unwittingly tightened his grip on Edward’s face.  He could feel the muscles in the man’s cheeks tighten as his face broke into a slight smirk. “Ed-”

“I’m not sure.” He finally managed, not without the smallest of chuckles. In spite of his nerves humming at the intimate contact, and his heart beating like a jackhammer, he still tried to add that signature Edward brand of humor. “Maybe you oughtta’ try it again.”

Why am I even surprised at this point? Jack nearly groaned in annoyance, and gave a gentle, scolding look and a subtle shake of his head.

“… please?” Edward implored, expression and tone both grown sincere and warm.

Jack couldn’t resist the smile that pulled at the corners of his mouth as his tension dissolved, and he did, indeed, move in to try again. Except this time, he felt two warm, familiar arms wrap around his waist to pull him closer, and Edward’s lips meeting his own with equal fervor. He eased into the embrace, hands moving from Edward’s face as he draped his arms around the man’s scarred neck for more leverage as he moved in for more.

He closed his eyes and took it all in - it was dizzying. Their closeness, the warmth of his skin, the taste of his kiss, and - the familiar combination of smoke and leather and sandalwood and amber scents that he’d grown so fond of overwhelming him in the best of ways. He recalled the nights he’d spent basking in the way it had seeped into the bedsheets when he’d stayed over - the sense of yearning that being enveloped in it on those nights filled Jack with  - and the sense of comfort he’d long since come to associate it with.

Edward broke away and covertly licked at his lips, unable to resist a smile. He leaned down to press his forehead against Jack’s, arms still wrapped around him, and the solitary, breathy laugh that he let out tickled at the man’s lips. He pulled an arm from around the doctor’s waist and raised it to caress his cheek, and to trace his thumb along the scar on his lower lip - which almost seemed symbolic of what really set these wheels in motion - what led them to growing so close, what led them here.

~ tbc

[dellinah]

With the new ep coming soon, have a quick Helluva Boss review by me

This is not my opinion these are hard facts and I don't accept anything else ty (obvious joke is obvious)

Pilot:

Works well enough as a pilot, but aged poorly when compared to the actual episodes. The cutaway gag style reminds me of Family Guy, which isn't a good thing but works ok enough to show off their personalities in a quick way. However, I think they were still very surface level (especially compared to their recent development in the episodes). Loona was especially unlikeable in the pilot (other than one scene with the smile) and they seem to have only one trait explored which is their main personality trait, it makes them a bit too cartoony. The writing was a bit sloppy with the cutaway of them killing the wrong person suddenly becoming the main plot. But as a pilot, it works fine and the scenes with Moxxie and Blitzo were really funny. Millie and Loona don't really get the chance to suck you in and are kinda just there, but that's fair as a pilot only has so much time to show so much. I'm just glad the show turned out to be MUCH better than this made me think it would be. I was scared they'd rely too much on cutaways and never have actual plots, but the episodes are almost nothing like the pilot. And since that's a good thing... yeah, the pilot is fine, but I'm glad the show is different from it

5/10

Episode 1:

It does a good job at showing off the personalities that were outlined in the pilot (Moxxie is insecure and angry, Blitzo is careless, Loona is mean, Millie is energetic), but other than Moxxie, I think they could have done more by using smart dialog to define and show their interactions. They're still very 'one-trait'. Also goes a bit deeper into how the imps work which was cool to learn. I really like the jokes in this one! The bits of lore they give us was also appreciated. However, I think it's the less memorable of the episodes so far. It's a good average episode: they do what they're meant to, there are good jokes, but other than Moxxie's development, nothing about this episode will stick with you - there's not much to it other than the basic plot. So much so that this is the one people talk about the least in my experience. The character interactions are a bit deeper, but again, nothing stands out about it and we don't learn that much about them. It probably aged poorly as well, it was much better when it was the only ep but now it doesn't reach the standards set by the other eps. Good average ep, but you won't think much about it once it's done

6/10

Episode 2

This to me is where the show truly shines. Not only was it beautifully animated, it has everything that makes Helluva Boss great: good characters trying to survive each other in a shit yet interesting environment. Stolas and Octavia steal the show and it does a full 180 on Stolas, turning him from a horny slut to a caring dad that is trying his best (albeit, still horny). Octavia is a beautifully written character, as they manage to make a teen emo daughter that isn't annoying or obnoxious, but even make us feel for her as the family falls apart in a believable way. All the characteds (other than Loona) FINALLY get the deeper personality exploration that I think lacked in the previous episodes. The interactions they have with each other do a great job at a 'show, don't tell' and you actually start liking them more after this one as they get more of a personality. Learning about Blitzo's past and the clown character are also great plot points. This episode is pretty much flawless and everything about it is great: the interactions are deep and well written, the personalities shine, the plot is interesting, you feel for the characters, it's funny, it makes you feel and all the characters are incredibly likeable - with no one being in the wrong and just making us see different perspectives from layered characters. I cannot praise it enough so just know it's perfect. The only bad thing about this ep is that it sets such a high stardand other eps might look worse in comparision. And if that's the only bad thing you have to say about an ep, then it's pretty damn good

10000/10

Episode 3

Another amazing episode. While not as heartfelt as Episode 2, it's still very charming and memorable with GREAT character moments. Millie gets some much needed screen time that finally shows another side of her as a caring yet badass wife. Drunk Moxxie was especially funny and props to the va for the golden delivery of his lines (for real, the sounds he makes are amazing. And who could forget the I aM nOt A pOsSuM line. Iconic). Loona finally gets an episode focused on her, so now all 4 main characters have gotten better. The episode has many good points, but the interactions between Loona and Blitzo as their relationship gets more defined and sets up more mysteries about their past are GREAT. Again, amazing 'Show, don't tell' stuff that makes you feel for dad and daughter that struggle together to love each other as such. They also managed to portray a teen crush and a protective dad without making them annoying or obnoxious. A lot of cute and angsty, memorable moments between them as well as great Loona development as she becomes more vulnerable. It almost outshines the main plot of Blitzo's ex, but she's a good character and their banter ties up with the blitzo/loona plot so you never forget what is going on and it all comes together nicely at the end. Beautiful father-daughter angst and a great portray at the struggles they face with adoption. Probs the funniest ep to date. Verosika is another great character and I hope she shows up again. Honestly, no major complaints

10/10

Here's to hoping for another great ep!

[soggywarmpockets]

If you keep this up I'm gonna end up having to read Carry On. I mean c'mon mate! My tbr is already 100 books long 😭

Listen, I wasn't even sure I wanted to read the Simon Snow series after Fangirl, but holy fuck I'm glad I did. These books are seriously entertaining, really funny, and have an overall lighthearted tone that I desperately need right now, but also deep heartfelt moments. Some of the lines just utterly blow me away and live rent-free in my mind. Also it is really fun to play "spot the fanfic trope" as you read because this is supposed to be the fic Cath was writing in Fangirl and it really keeps the fanfic feel throughout. I just started Any Way the Wind Blows this afternoon and it might be my favorite book so far because it finally addresses some things I thought desperately needed touched upon in the first two books. I'm really caught up in the story and the characters and their relationships and it is really keeping me going as I go through some unpleasant shit, so yeah, highly recommend. But also, like, sorry because tagging on the mobile site is damn near impossible so I haven't been tagging anything and people are probably so tired of seeing Simon Snow every other post with no way to block it. Forgive me, everyone.

[calypsoff]

Sixty Eight. Part 2

Watching Chris walk off in a huff and go to bed sad is actually making me smile, I should not feel like this but it’s just funny that he assumes I would do nothing for him, but he is basing it off what happened with Drake but I do forgive him for it but it makes me smile that he’s upset, it sounds so evil “he’s really upset” Mel said in a whisper “he is very hurt, close the door” I pointed, Mel is walking over to sit next to me “you nasty, like you being so cold with him” Mel closed the door “he’s not there anyways, he has gone upstairs” Mel made her way over to sit with me “the thing is I have said to him, I do forgive you but in his mind he doesn’t think it. I haven’t mentioned anything to him about his birthday, I’ve been very formal and just kept it neutral, but it will be bigger the surprise. Shall we start doing the house up? I am excited to see his face though, I have spoilt him a lot. Like when I found out what happened in Canada I wanted to say fuck it no, but he’s a good guy, he didn’t mean it but I also got him something big too” I have spoilt him too much I think “what else did you get him?” Rorrey asked “a Rolex, I got him a Rolex because I feel like he’s with people that have money and I want him to keep with appearances and I want him to have all these chains and stuff, I got him a Rolex on top of the party and cars so he’s getting very spoilt. This is why I said for nobody to give him anything, he has a lot already and he doesn’t need it. Just being there is nice enough so yeah” I breathed out smiling “that’s sweet you know, he’s going to appreciate that so much, Chris is a very thankful man. Humble too, he seems to me like he never cares for the riches and things. He goes out pretty simple and I have seen the man wear that Gucci jacket every time we out. Humble, I like him so I got him a gift because I wanted too. Just a little something for the man” I cooed out “hope you wrote that love letter in his birthday card” Rorrey laughed “you’re annoying, I see why he went to sleep” rolling my eyes at my brother.

We have done the house up; well I say that. Half of the balloons popped because they are being stupid but it’s twelve and I feel bad he went to sleep so I am just here going through pictures of him, I wanted to do a throwback but no, I am going to post one from our honeymoon I took of him at the bar, just the way he looked at me in that moment and he knew I was taking a picture of him. Just that smile, wow I love him “you smiling hard but not help us?” Looking up from my phone “I am making a heartfelt post about my husband, now hush” they can wait for whatever they are doing because I need to finish this, looking back down at my phone, I sighed out heavily because where do I start with this post, I don’t want to do too much either. Let me keep it cute ‘I just want to wish my husband the best birthday. My best friend, a father. I could write so much but I will save you all the sick show lol. I love you’ I didn’t want to overdo it so this will be the shortest but I wrote what I wanted in his birthday card, looking up from my phone “you emotional” Noella said, nodding my head “just weird, I’m not alone like I always thought I would be. Just makes me emotional. A man can love me” I chuckled “I’m fine, let’s get this done” pressing send on the post, I just think to myself how lonely I really could have been because men saw me as nothing. I can’t see myself without Chris and that is really scary for me, I have always been scared of men in general because of my father being the man he is so I get scared when I actually think how deep in love I am.

This is cute, we have decorated the stairs, the hallway. The living room, we have a cardboard cutout of Chris in his high school jersey, it’s so cute. Just how I remember him, poking my lips out to the side of the cardboard cutout as Mel took the picture “done” I laughed moving back “I mean he was skinny but boy he was very skinny then, imagine a young me crooning over him” Mel snorted laughing “if I was there I would be like sister no, let’s go for the bigger men” taking my phone from Mel, walking off laughing at the picture. He was a little short here too, look at me leaning down to him with my bump in the way. Adding a caption ‘How I met your father ;)’ pressing send “aye! Come on now” these bitches out here twerking on it “we playing” waving them off “y’all have fun, I’m going to bed. Night y’all and see y’all in the morning” waving them off, I need to sleep, or I will be miserable thoughtout the day and night because of the party. Walking up the steps, I am very proud of the handy work. We all put in the effort to do it up, all we need now is Chris wakes up or he just randomly comes down, but I hope not. I have some more teasing to do with him, reaching the top of the steps. I am so tired actually, I was tired of watching girls lusting over Chris, like they keep on saying do all country niggas look like you, oh you fine. Like leave my husband alone, it was annoying, but Chris didn’t care for it. Pushing open the bedroom door, as expected he is asleep. My poor husband fell asleep in annoyance of me, well I did need to get him back for the pain I went through, but he really needs to catch up on when I am trolling him and when I’m not, if like I would do that to him unless he did cheat then I would divorce him. Peaking over at Chris asleep, pouty baby is so cute asleep. I want to ride him.

I am more excited about his birthday, I think it’s more to do with the fact I know but I woke him up before him, this is how much Chris is depressed about his birthday, he is such a drama queen for nothing “done sulking?” He slumped onto the bed “you’re so miserable, honestly. Open my card, get up and read it” he groaned out getting up from the bed “breastfeed me or something, this is wack” side eyeing him as he got up “don’t be so negative, it’s not nice so appreciate what you get” he sat up on the bed “mhmmm ok” he took the card from my lap “thank you Robyn” he sighed out, he is so miserable. My smile grew, he is going to be so shocked tonight because I have invited so many people, I have gone above and beyond for him and I wish I could tell him, but he will find out eventually “aye! It’s me” he turned the card to me, a picture of Chris and I together “I look so slim there” I complimented myself “yeah, you have added some pounds” rolling my eyes, watching him open the card as I reached over my side table and grabbed the Rolex box “no money in this either, Rihanna broke already” he laughed “To Poppa, oh wow. This is a story” he cleared his throat “to Poppa, I want to wish you a happy birthday. The day you were born I know our stars aligned and our path would have crossed no matter when or how, it would have happened. You have been the light of my life, and I mean that because the fame isn’t anything to me because I was lonely. You love me when I was unloved and never once questioned me on why I felt that way and waited until I opened up to you, you never said to me the word love when we were just silly teenagers, but you sure did show it, now you’re never shy to show me that or say it to me. Thank you for loving me Chris, this your first birthday as my husband and I couldn’t be happier, love twin” Chris looked up from the card “don’t say that you’re always loved Robyn” biting on my top lip, I am so emotional “but a man, a male to love me just for me” Chris moved from his position and over to me “don’t think that, men are fickle like that. Thank you, you got me choked up though” he kissed my cheek “thank you, love you twin. Stop the emotions, damn” he moved back “that was sweet, thank you” he said it again “I come with a gift too, this is from me and your daughter” holding out the box and card “really? Oh wow” he took the box and card “this holds weight, damn” Chris grinned, he knows I don’t play when it comes to him.

Watching him with my phone in hand open the card “awww what!” He turned the card to me and I quickly took a picture of his reaction “you like?” I smiled wide “Happy Birthday from the bump, man. Look at the scan picture, she is so beautiful. Thank you” cropping the picture because ain’t no way any bitch is seeing my man in his boxers, they can see chest but his excited smiley face when he saw the card, just shock. Adding a caption ‘Happy Birthday from the bump!’ Pressing send “Happy Birthday dad, I can’t wait to meet you and for you to share your love with me, I know I will be safe in your arms. Love Baby Fenty-Brown” Chris sniffled “that’s amazing, emotional here. Wow, my daughter already got me choked up. Thank you to my beautiful ladies’ wow” I am proud of myself, I got him good “you happy baby? It’s ok, you can cry” he is trying to hold it back” he wiped his eyes “I am good “thank you, I really appreciate it” I cooed out “I know you do Chris, it’s ok” he picked up the Rolex box, I got him an eighteen carat gold Rolex, Diamond bezel and shoulders, ruby dot hours. Diamond dials. It was never cheap that, but it’s from his daughter and me so he better appreciate it “it’s big” he started ripping the wrapping paper from it, I love watching people open gifts. He stopped opening the paper and gasped looking up at me, he is excited. His eyes have lit up “no way” it reminds me of when I got him that Gucci jacket “for me!?” he placed it on the bed and he rolled off the bed “what you doing?” watching him run around the room, giggling at him as he went into the walk in closet and back out. I yelped out as I thought he was going to tackle me, but he jumped over me and back onto the bed “no way! Are you serious!?” I laughed nodding my head “open it poppa” he plopped down onto the bed “I can’t even, Robyn oh my god” he ripped it all open “Rolex!? This is a legit Rolex; I don’t deserve you Robyn. Oh my god, this is too much. What” he is so overjoyed, I am happy “this is from me and baby” he opened the box “oh my god, no way” he shook his head staring at it “Robyn this is crazy, wow. I can’t even, thank you. Oh my god. This is amazing” he crawled over to me “thank you so much, oh my god” hugging him back.

Chris is very excited, like to see him like this is so cute “Rorrey really got me this!? Like this is crazy, now I look like the man of the house, look at me” he came out in the Versace robe “I will let you think that, are you done playing in your robe?” he is here twirling and shit “I am so amazed, oh my god. Wait till I show my mom and dad, they are going to be extra amazed” he is like an excited child and it’s cute “thank you” Chris wrapped his arms around me once again and pressed a kiss to my cheek “it’s ok, come. Let’s go downstairs now, damn. You can show Rorrey the robe, I am sure he will be proud” Chris not moving out of the room, he finally moved. Walking behind him out of the bedroom “I feel so much better, like I really do. I went to bed all sad and shit, like I felt nobody cared” I cooed out, wait till he has his party, and he can see how much people do care “wait?” Chris pointed at the stairs “go down” I laughed “you lied to me all this time, you just tortured me for what” I shrugged “go down then, you know I am slow” Chris went rushing down while I of course made my way down slowly, Rorrey is awake he did text me asking. Also my mother is awake because she mentioned she will make breakfast for him; she is so sweet. I can hear both Rorrey and Chris, they are both kids “you flexing! See when we go on holiday, cigar and robes, we going to be living! I got you, you’re coming with me!” I would say yes to that, it’s with Rorrey too so I don’t mind that “what you think?” I grinned making my way to Chris “dope, thank you. Everyone, like this is amazing, and Monica’ food too!” I can smell that food strong.

“Morning Melissa, you came extra late. We ate whore” Mel side eyed me “who’s fault is that, last minute thing my ass but happy birthday Chris has Noella not gave you our gift yet?” Chris shook his head “I don’t want anything now, I am good. Honestly Robyn got me a Rolex, that is enough for me” Mel cooed out “that is cute, you sure it’s real” I snorted laughing “I am joking, honestly” she is such a bitch “Chris, don’t listen to her. It’s real, very real” Mel sat down at the table with us “we are going for a meal tonight actually so you need to look cute, not so much birthday meal but I can’t be bothered to cook” my mother doesn’t approve of my ways of saying things, she says I am being mean but I’m not “that’s cool, I can find an outfit. I can wear my Rolex too, that is amazing. It’s my birthday so I will pay for the meal” I grinned “how sweet of you, but I have an outfit for you to wear so just wear that” Chris is so happy, here I am trying to make out we ain’t doing anything else “I think Robyn should stay home, mommy you hear what she did, she made him go bed early on the eve of his birthday because she just acted like it meant nothing” Rorrey is a snitch “that is your husband Robyn, stop it. Jokes can hurt feelings” I sighed out “Rorrey shut up, honestly. I didn’t do anything, look how happy he is, I know how to make him happy” I don’t know why Rorrey has to set my mom off for nothing.

[nellie-elizabeth]

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier: Truth (1x05)

Well, okay then.

Cons:

I've complained about the uneven time given to Sam and Bucky, and while I appreciate where this episode went with everything, it did shine a further light on how little Sam has had to do all season. How his growth has been happening in the background to other things. I wish the balance could have been changed a little.

I also continue to be less interested in the Flag Smashers than I am in anything else in the show. Not the ideology or how they function politically in this world, but the actual individual characters. Spending time getting to know them makes sense, it humanizes their struggles and what they're willing to sacrifice for their cause. But I just don't find Karli to be a particularly compelling individual, so it makes those scenes a slough to get through.

The opening fight scene between Sam, Bucky, and John Walker was good, but it wasn't great. The whole time I was watching it I kept thinking about the Tony/Steve/Bucky fight at the end of Civil War, three men fighting, the shield pinging between them. So much angst and desperation and history and weight to the whole thing. This fight should have been like that, but instead it felt a little more measured. Sam and Bucky are fighting to take the shield away from a dangerous man who has clearly lost control. It almost felt like they were just doing a job. Their connection to the shield was muted during the fight itself, which made that final beat, when Bucky throws the shield down at Sam's side and walks off, hit a little less hard.

And that's one other thing - I loved the Sam and Bucky talk, of course I did. Bucky needed to apologize and it was great to see. But what changed Bucky's mind? We see Sam's journey, but Bucky starts the episode still in that mindset of blaming Sam, and then he comes and helps with the boat, and then he apologizes. What made him realize that he needed to adjust his perspective? I wish I could have understood that a bit more. The only scene we get of him on his own is with Zemo, and that bit of closure seems wholly disconnected to the stuff with the shield.

Pros:

This is a small thing, but I've gotta bring it up: when Bucky is apologizing to Sam, he says "when Steve told me what he was planning"... and when I tell you I screamed... this is literally so important to me. I hate the end of Endgame for Steve. I truly do. The one thing that makes it bearable is the head-canon that he cleared it with Bucky first, that Bucky knew, before Steve left to go return the stones, what he was going to do. And now we have actual canon confirmation that that was the case! I am so incredibly moved by that, I can't even tell you.

But let's talk about that whole scene, shall we? I feel like I could ramble on about it for quite some time, but I'll just say that seeing them throw the shield around like a damn football was so... funny? But also sweet? There's something here about men and how they communicate and how hard it can be to break down the walls and be vulnerable. They manage it because they frame it around a physical activity, with the shared symbol of complicated national loyalties bouncing around between them. Also, the shared symbol of their dead friend Steve. It opens up something between them, allowing Sam to give his "tough love" advice. Allowing Bucky to give a heartfelt apology. It's the stuff they never would have said to each other in that therapy session, but they can say it now, and that's beautiful. The best moment for me, and it was really subtle, was Bucky handing the shield to Sam, saying sorry. Then Sam continues to throw it against the trees and let it bounce back, and he does it specifically so Bucky can catch it again. So there's this almost ceremonial hand-off, and then Sam, magnanimous, lets Bucky know it's still a part of him too.

And Bucky talking about the shield as his family? Yes please. I love it so much. This scene really wrapped up Bucky's arc for me on this show, in a way I hadn't known to expect. Sam tells him that Steve is gone, and that it doesn't matter what Steve thought, or what he meant. Bucky needs to stop defining himself solely by other people. This doesn't mean the struggle is over. Bucky's got a long road ahead. But he understands that road now, and Sam helped him to find his way, which I think is just the loveliest thing.

Another thing about the way these men communicate, is that the apology was necessary, and it was good that it happened, but even before that apology, Bucky showed up and helped with the boat. He fished for an invite to stay, and Sam gave it without question. They joke about being "partners", no, "co-workers," "just two guys who had a mutual friend," but the fact is, they're a part of each other's lives, and they come through for each other. Even with lingering resentments.

I'll talk briefly about Zemo here before we get into the Sam stuff in this episode... I kind of love that he went gently with the Wakandans. It was so different from what I expected, and yet it also followed logically from everything we knew about him from Civil War. It felt like a natural button to his arc on this show. And him telling Bucky that there's no resentment on his end... I mean, on the one hand, I sure as fuck would hope not, given what Zemo tried to do to Bucky. But also that's the point, isn't it? Sam says as much during the tough love speech. Bucky needs to make amends by being of service, by giving closure to the people he hurt as the Winter Solider. Even if they were bad people. Even if they don't "deserve" it.

I still worry about the optics of Sam taking on the shield instead of retiring it permanently. But I was impressed by how far the show was willing to go in explaining the weight of that choice. Isaiah doesn't say some party line like "I love America but these were some bad people." He doesn't say "things were bad then but they're better now." No. He says the truth, which is that America did this to him. It wasn't one bad actor sneaking through an otherwise benevolent system. It was a corrosive, systemic issue that ruined his life, separated him from his loved ones, forced him to hide away and live as a dead man. And he's telling Sam that it's still like that. Oh, sure, things have changed. But not as much as they need to, and not in the ways that really count for a lot, a lot of people.

I respect that the show laid this out, didn't pull its punches in stating this reality. Sam is being positioned as perhaps naïve, overly optimistic, in still wanting to take that pain and make something good from it. Overly optimistic? Willing to jump into situations that are too big for any one man to manage, no matter what? Well, if there's a list of qualifiers for Captain America, I'd say Sam fits the bill just as much, if not more, than Steve did.

And we see that Sam has a community, a history, a deep connection to his sister and his nephews and all the people his parents knew back in the day. I'm a sucker for a good moment like the one we got with the boat, everyone turning up to help. And then Sarah saying that they can't sell it after all... it's just so moving. Sam's fighting the big fights and the small ones, and that makes him worthy of being an exemplar of human excellence. If he wants to fight that fight while holding the shield, I would trust him to try and turn the symbol into something worthy.

Briefly, I want to talk about Lemar. That scene where John went to his parents was really interesting, because it showed that opinions on these very serious issues are by no means shared universally. You've got Isaiah saying that no black man with any self respect would ever take up the shield. Then you've got Lemar's parents saying how proud their son was to be Captain America's partner. It's a lot more complicated than people want to make it. Things would be simpler if we all agreed that America sucks and its history and legacy is negative and racist and therefore let's burn the whole thing to the ground. But there are a lot of people, a lot of black Americans, who like being Americans, who are proud to serve their country. It's not an attitude I know how to understand, but pretending it doesn't exist isn't doing anyone any favors. I like that we saw this aspect of it, too.

A couple last tidbits, moments I really enjoyed.

- Bucky flirting with Sarah.

- Sam's nephews playing with the shield, Bucky waking up and smiling at the sight.

- The super relevant, super hard to hear scene at the end of all the government officials getting ready to round up refugees and march them back across borders... like, damn.

- Bucky forgetting he has a metal arm, but then later using it to save Sam some trouble on the boat.

This was a great episode. Do I have qualms about the arc of the series as a whole? Yes I do. I'll be very curious to see where everything lands in next week's finale. But in all, this one was a winner in my books.

9/10